#angel losing its wings and getting crushed by a rock

[heavenlyraindrops]

♱Father Forgive Me (For I have Sinned) ~Chapter Twenty Four♱

Lucifer Morningstar x Angel!Reader Fandom: Hazbin Hotel Chapter Twenty Four Warnings: profanity, Visit my pinned post to see all other chapters.

♱ In which the purest soul in Heaven falls from grace… for the Devil. ♱

[Chapter Twenty Four]

You dove into the red sky, wind tearing past your face as your eyes scoured the city skyline for the telltale silhouette of the Hotel, which Velvette had described to you- Velvette who was now clinging to your back.

“You’re quite light,” you said, raising your voice above the powerful beats of your voice. 

“Oh, shut up and fly,” Velvette scoffed into your ear, breath and body emanating heat. A few moments of silence, then: “There!”

Her arm shot out to point at the building looming up on your right. You were about to go there anyways- you could see the massive battle occurring from miles away, black tentacles lashing against electric blue sparks. You swerved and Velvette yelped, her grip on you tightening. 

Your feet hit the ground and Velvette slid off, tensing as you both assessed the situation. You dove to the ground, knocking her down with you as a black tentacle lashed out. 

“Fuck,” you cursed, crawling to safety. She followed suit and you twisted round. “I’ll drag Vox out and you direct the backup while I try and calm Alastor from his little…” you glanced around. “…Tantrum. Okay?”

Velvette rolled her eyes but nodded, standing up and dusting herself off. You dove back into the fray, rising up with your wings spread. Forcing through the weaving threats of blue electricity you grabbed Vox’s shoulders.

“Goddamnit, Vox!” You yelled. He turned around. There were angry, digital tears streaming down his face. “Get the fuck out of here!”

There was a hole ripped in his shoulder. Electric wires and blood seeped from the wound. “I-“

“You’re fucking losing!” You pointed at Alastor, who’d slowly begun to shrink back at normal size upon seeing you. “Get over your crush and get out of here!”

“I don’t-“ 

And conveniently, he short circuited.

You groaned, tossing his jerking body to Velvette who cradled it in her arms, punching in the digits of what you assumed was the backup- which you had called prior, but seemed to be running late- into her phone. 

You whipped around, body tensed, turning your attention to Alastor. Now, surely he’d go back to normal, you were both acquainted, you could have a civil conversation-

A tentacle wrapped around your waist, crushing the breath out of you. 

Inside the hotel, Lucifer pressed his hands to the glass on the window. Charlie stood next to him, watching the scene with wide eyes. “Do you think we should intervene?” She asked nervously.

“No, it’s-“ his breath caught as you appeared on the scene. “[name] seems to be, uh,” he cleared his throat. “Dealing with it, apparently.”

Charlie’s shoulders sagged in relief as Alastor shrunk down slightly. 

“Wait, fuck, why is he- why the fuck is he provoking her?” Lucifer spat, nails dragging down the glass. 

Outside, still in the crushing grip of Alastor’s shadow tentacle, you let out a piercing scream of anger and frustration. 

Alastor’s eyes narrowed, smile widening until his face split into two. Yes, this was perfect- he’d simply have to rile you up, just a little, and you’d eventually burst. 

You dug your nails into the coiled appendage which constricted your ribs, twisting and turning as you tried to worm your way out of its grip. “Alastor, if you don’t let go of me right now-“

He raised you to his face, eyes sparking. “Tell me, [name], how does it feel to be exiled from your own home?”

“What?” You blinked, caught off guard. 

He trailed a claw along the side of your cheek. “You have no one now. Lost, abandoned, forced to unite with the Vees of all people as a last resort.” A laugh rumbled deep in his throat. “It seems as though you’ve hit rock bottom.”

Yes, rile her up. 

You stared at him, heart pounding, bile rising.  

“What do you know,” you managed to utter. He grinned. 

“I don’t need to know, I can see. Anyone can see.”

Lucifer was prepared to slam his head into the glass. “What the fuck is he doing.”

Charlie shuddered. “Dad…”

“I knew it, Apple Pie. I told you.” He thrust his hand at the scene unfolding in front of them. “He lied, he’s doing this on purpose. Why else would he say that to [name]?” Fire burned in his gut, licking its way up his throat. How dare Alastor even lay a single finger on you, let alone talk to you about-

“Come on!” Charlie raced out, flinging the door in her wake. Lucifer stared after her, then followed suit. 

“Do you get it?” Alastor murmured to you. His eyes held pity. It was nauseating. Something burned hot beneath your skin. Your body jerked. “Why even try? There isn’t anything left for you now.” 

Your skin pulled away to reveal eyes.

Charlie put her hand on Lucifer's arm. Vaggie stumbled out. “Dad… Vaggie…” 

Alastor hissed as the tentacle sizzled, falling away in burning golden dust as you jerked back again, wings growing, body separating from what was normal; you could see. Everywhere. You could see. Your hair whipped around your head, halo extending past the horns that sprouted from your head.

Horns?

Your angelic form didn’t have horns-

Oh.

You opened your mouth in a soundless scream, lashing out with your hands. The eyes on your skin and wings pulsed. Alastor shot back, snapping to normal size as he slammed into the Hotel’s wall, which crumbled a little.

He groaned, and stirred, but didn’t move past that. Blood dripped down his chin.

“Alastor!” Charlie gasped, stumbling towards him. Vaggie grabbed her wrist and pulled her back, shaking her head. 

“What did you…” you gasped. The eyes pulsed harder, burning on your skin. Your halo was made of fire. It singed your hair. You tried to pull away from yourself. They were burning- your eyes were burning.  

They were red. 

They weren’t supposed to be red. They aren’t supposed to be red. You thrashed around, another piercing scream ripping from your throat, this time one of fear. It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it-

They all opened at once, settling crazedly at Charlie and Lucifer and Vaggie, all of who were staring at you in shock. Your heart wrenched. 

Don’t look at me.

You wanted more than nothing than to crawl into your own skin and never come out again. 

I’m a monster. 

“What’s wrong with her?” Charlie gasped, her voice coming out as a quiet murmur. Vaggie intertwined their arms. 

“I don’t know,’ she replied, voice shaking.

“She’s not used to it,” Lucifer said sharply, pushing past them. “The demon form, it’s hurting-“

He didn’t finish his sentence before suddenly unfurling his wings and thrusting himself at you. 

“No!” You screamed, flinching away, pulling your hands up to hide your face. Lucifer hissed and you lowered them, trembling, as blood seeped from a gash on his cheek. 

You flew back, voice quivering. “Don’t come near me,” you hissed. But he did anyways, grabbing your wrist. A sob tore from your throat as you tried to wrench your arm away, kicking out with your legs, but his grip simply tightened as his other hand grabbed your waist and his tail coiled around your legs, restricting your movements as you both plummeted to the ground. 

Pain bloomed in between your shoulder blades and the back of your skull as your head hit the ground, and Lucifer hissed too, grabbing you to try and reduce the impact of the fall, despite the fact he was affected too. 

You lay trembling on the ground, as Lucifer pinned you there, knee in between your legs and hands gripping your wrists as his wings shielded both of you. You were sobbing freely now, the fire sizzling in your veins slowly ebbing away, your burning eyes closing and disappearing one by one. Reality, solid being gripped your body. The world spun. 

Velvette stepped towards the huddle of wings and feathers, but Vaggie darted out, jerking her spear at the doll. “Away,” she growled. Hurt twisted across Velvette’s face, but she scowled, quickly replacing it with hostility as she grabbed Vox’s limp body.

“Fine,” she spat, dragging him over as a car with the Vees’s logo pulled up. She tossed him into the back seat, clambering in after him, shooting you one last concerned look and Vaggie a hateful one as the vehicle rolled off. 

You were still shaking as tears slipped from your eyes, hyperventilating. “L-lucifer, I…” your words were so slurred and broken you had to stop, whimpers still escaping from your throat. “I’m sorry,” you sobbed. Your vision was too blurry to see his face properly. 

He pressed his forehead to your shoulder, your cheek wet with tears next to his, and let out a small sigh. You started crying even harder. “Lucifer please, I'm really sorry. I swear.” Your crying had grown almost hysterical. 

“Hush,” he murmured, and his wings rustled above you. “You’re safe now, darling.” His lips moved against your cheek. “You’re with me now.”

You were still gasping for air, and he let out another slow, long sigh, stroking your hair until you calmed down enough to speak. 

“Y-you must- you must hate me now,” you choked out. He let out a small, half-hearted chuckle, shaking his head softly.

“I don’t hate you, darling.” He closed his eyes. Your sobs faded to quiet hiccups as your breathing slowed. “I… I love you.”

Your heart almost tore in two. Your eyes welled up again. “R-really?”

He pressed his lips to your forehead. “Really.”

You dissolved into another fit of sobs, flinging your arms around his neck and pulling him down flush against you to bury your head in his shoulder. “Oh my god, oh my god Lucifer I’m so sorry.” Your entire body shook.

“You don’t need to be,” he reassured you, as you dug your hands into his back. 

“I love you too,” you cried. 

He smiled softly, letting out a soft breath. It skimmed your cheek, and you relaxed, body unwinding its tensed state. You didn’t know how long you both lay there, heartbeats and breaths syncing together, until exhaustion caught up to you, dragging you down to the depths of sleep. 

[irishmammonagenda]

Hi girl!!!

I have this idea running around in my head for so long. Can you write the demon bros with little sister reader (around the teenage year)? Hear me out. She's the 8th of the family which means she's the youngest. The brothers must be overprotective of her and they would love her so much. Lucifer would have a soft spot for her. She and Mammon would be partners in crime. Then Satan will help her with her study and Asmo will love to help her do her hair. That's it 😁

Btw I love your writing...

hihi! yeah ofc i can! <3

as per usual I had no idea where this was going🧍‍♂️

but this was super fun to write as well

grma for the ask! <3

[Amazing Title]-Obey Me Brothers + Little Sister! Reader

Summary: The brothers except MC's their wee sister ig, chaos ensues. Word Count: 3.8k+ Warnings: Mentions of Death, Female Reader (she/her pronouns used) MC changes her hair length and colour when she feels like it, also she has a crush on some rando idek,

dividers by @cafekitsune

Lucifer was sick to his stomach. Long broken wings attempted to flap, ivory feathers turning black. Wounds open and bleeding. Shooting through stormy skies like a dying star.

His eyes burnt, the speed of his fall making it almost impossible to take in a breath. His lungs burnt. His heart hurt. He hadn´t understood death until Cain took the Rock to Abel, until Father took the scepter to Lilith.

Was he going to die?

He was falling.

As he tore through the sky at a damned pace, he caught a glimpse of warm bronze skin, unusually cold, stained with blood as red as the long crimson hair of his sister.

Despite the pain, despite the strain in his broken, burnt wings, he used the last of his willpower, the last of his strength, to get to the young girl.

He wrapped his hands around her, pulling her close to his chest, attempting to shield her from the fall.

"Luci?-" Lilith chokes out weakly, skin greying, holding onto her brother like a lifeline, one that was getting further away, as her grip slowly loosened. "Luci...I-im scared..."

"D-...don't be..." Lucifer manages to choke out. He could see some sembelance of land now. Some sembelance of an end to the torture of just....falling. "I'll protect you, L-Lilith."

He held on tight to her as he braced for impact, not registering that his little sister had died in his arms, that six wings became two.

He lost conciousness for a moment, hardly lucid, coming to moments later. The ringing in his ears didn't stop.

He coughed up dirt. Dust cleared to reveal two demons, as he looked around he saw crimson everywhere. Filthy fuil dearg coated the crater he'd created. Lucifer scrambled up, staring at the mangled form of what used to be his sister. Not noticing a pair of his wings at his feet. They didn't matter.

He screamed. Gently cradling the corpse, looking up at the Demon Prince with eyes filled with firey fearg, "Save her! Bring her back! Help her..!" He shouts, anger fading to desperation.

The prince regards him with a sort of impassivity, after backs and forths and emotions unravelling, the Demons agree to revive his precious sister as a human, provided Lucifer swears his loyalty, makes a vow with a heavy heart.

"I Lucifer Morningstar....swear absolute loyalty to Lord Diavolo, Prince of Hell."

"Very good."

With a snap of the Demon Butler's finger, his sister disappeared, a screech erupted, but it wasn't from Lucifer. Turning behind him, the disgraced angel saw one of the wings he had barely registered splitting from him---too focused on the pain of losing his sister than the pain of losing his wings,-- the now black mass of feathers morphed and grew like bubbling tar, emitting screeches.

The creature that formed of it, pale of skin, blond of hair, its face contorted in a pain Lucifer felt was a part of him. The demon races, screeching with a fury unbridled. Destruction followed it.

The Demon Prince and Butler watch on with intrigue whilst Lucifer tries to keep from breaking down a second time. The sound of whistling through the air alerts him of his other brothers falling. He looks up, hoping to see where they landed.

Somewhere amongst the vast Devildom. He had to find them. He couldn't handle another death, another loss. Despite his disgrace, his deportation from the only home he'd ever known, he prays to Father one last time, that his brothers were alive.

"There's no need. I will attend to the fallen angels now." The butler says serenely, both him and the Demon Prince disappearing within a moment's notice. Although the latter was more hesitant.

The creature of his wing is still screeching, like a coyote on the prowl, but inherently more sinister. It bites and screams, eyes filled with a murderous rage, one it directs towards Lucifer, as it comes charging at him like a bull of the plaza de toros.

Lucifer takes a step back, His foot hitting something soft and quishy. He pauses, the thing cries. The wails of a newborn cutting through the thick air like a knife, the creature of his wing stops screeching, tilting its head and staring down at the ground.

Lucifer gently picks you up. Cradling you in his arms. He looks to both you and the Creature of Wrath, both so inherently different, both his.

He looks into your eyes for a moment, such a tiny demon, more suited to be an angel, so unlike the pure cantankerousness of the older of the two creatures of his wings.

Lucifer, in the throws of his grief, made two vows that day, the first an oath of absolute loyalty to the Demon Prince, the second, a móid to always protect you.

You tapped your pen against the desk, biting the inside of your cheek as you stared down at your textbook. Shoulder length black hair tied in a low ponytail so it wasn't pouring over your face as you worked. You sighed in defeat, set your pen down and looked up at your two older brothers who were sitting opposite you, and planning out what looks to be another failed prank.

Satan and Belphie had their heads together, murmuring rather animatedly amongst eachother. You snorted, leaning over the table, your sudden movement catches their attention as you stare up at them, your head tilted.

"What about a whoopie cushion?" You ask softly, Belphie makes a face.

"We are not using...human...pranks, we're demons." He snorts, "We have more class than that."

You pout, Satan pinches him from under the table. His green eyes looking dotingly at you, like he would a cat. Coincidentally, he pats your head, ruffling your hair. "I think a simple human world prank could be entertaining to try." He says, giving Belphie a look, the Seventh Born raises his hands lazily in defeat, before leisurely sliding over the table to sit beside you, you quickly flipped to a blank page in your notebook, lest your older brother see the doodles you'd absentmindedly scribbled of you and your crush, a demon from your Devildom History Class.

Satan writes 'Whoopie Cushion' in cursive on their blueprint plans, tongue sticking out ever so slightly, before going back to his own homework. Belphie leans his head on your shoulder, dozing off.

"How did Fear Gorta come to fruition as an entity in the Human Realm?" You read off of your paper, Satan looks up from his essay for seductive speechcraft--a class which you were too young to take--he blinks for a moment, before setting his fountain pen down, and taking up the seat on the other side of you.

Belphie looks over at you tiredly, stretching his arms.

"Need any help?"

"Need any help?"

They glare at each other playfully, you nod.

Satan takes the textbook from you for a moment, reading the question aloud again.

"Fear Gorta are said to rise from Féar Gortach....sometimes they're just people who died of starvation near Sídhe hills." Satan begins to explain, watching as you nod along.

"They were said to go around with a bowl for begging or almsgiving...travelling, knocking on doors, asking for food." Belphie interjects lazily, head still on your shoulder. "They could hardly keep the bowl from dropping, because they were so weak."

You nod, writing it down, you'd always had trouble simplifying long texts down to their key parts, something Lucifer had assured you would come with time. It was a good thing you had your brothers. They were always willing to help you with homework.

"But what about that has to do with the Fear Gorta coming to fruition in the Human Realm?" You ask, feeling a little dumb.

Satan clears his throat, "Well, some Devildom and Human Scholara believe that the Fear Gorta is what brought the Famine to Ireland. Supposedly, just before the Great Famine, he emerged after a battle of the Fae near Cnoc Meadha."

You scribble that down, your tongue sticking out slightly, an idiosyncrasy developed from your older brother.

Belphie hums, eyes closed, and breathing so even you thought he was asleep. "Mhm, but others believe he's a personification of An Gorta Mór, or the Great Famine himself. That the people of Ireland made him up during the 1840s as a way of coping with and explaining the potato blight."

Upon seeing your confused face, Satan chuckles, "Essentially, the Fear Gorta is an example of how Human suffering can cause mythological beings to be thought up, and how with enough Human Manifestation, they can truly become something that exists."

As if to emphasize, Satan takes a random pen and a scrap piece of paper, drawing little doodles with the summarising he and Belphie had just did.

"Thanks Satan! Thanks Belphie!" You grin, taking the scrap piece of paper, using it to help you jot down the rest of your notes, finally understanding, you begin to answer the question, making a mental note to not let Mammon see the drawings that Satan drew, ever.

It takes a total of ten minutes of pens scratching against paper, Belphie's soft snores, and the dull drill of your own thoughts before you set your pen down, and look up grinning at Satan.

"So...about the prank you're planning..."

The next morning, all decked out in your RAD uniform, you sit on a poof and stare at your reflection in the luxurious vanity. You had decided on long hair, a dark pink so deep it was almost red. That was one of the búntáistí of having the Avatars of Lust and Wrath as brothers, you knew all the best spells for hair, and boy did you exploit that fact.

Short hair? No problem. Long hair? Alright then. Curly? Straight? Wavy? Ask and you shall receive.

Not to mention, Asmo would style your hair, no matter the length, shade or texture, and he would always make it look gorgeous Which was exactly what he was doing now, a gentle comb being ran down your hair, before your brother begins to braid strands in an intercate half-up, half-down pattern.

It's always relaxing when your 5th oldest brother does your hair, always conscious of not hurting you, you let your mind wander.

And wander your mind does, twisting and turning while travelling through the crevices of your brain, eventually coming to a stop at its destination, which just so happened to be the demon in your Devildom History class. They made you feel giddy, with their shoulder length, layered turquoise hair and purposely messy black eye shadow in place of the usual clean cut liquid eyeliner.

"Something on your mind, hon?" Asmo asks concerned as he puts a soft, black bow in your hair, you had been unfocused for a while now.

"Its nothing!" You say a little too defensively, your older brother gives you a knowing look, perfectly threaded eyebrows raising ever so slightly before he gasps and grins excitedly, holding back a squeal.

"Oh!~ And just who is this nothing, honey?~" He asks, you cover your face in your hands and groan, mortification dripping over you as Asmo finishes up on your hair.

Once your hair is done, you rush out, so as not to give the Avatar of annoying you lust any more ammo to tease you with.

Unluckily for you, Asmo was very environmentally friendly, and could make his own ammo.

Your mortification however, is not as short-lived as you'd hoped it would be.

Upon entering the dining room, you make a beeline for Mammon, your partner in crime, and sit beside your 2nd oldest brother, who laughs at you.

"Ye look like yer goin' to a Feis!" He laughs, slapping his knees ad doubled over, you pout and Lucifer, who sat directly diagonal to Mammon at the head of the table slapped him up the back of the head, leaving the avatar of greed choking and spluttering on his own spit.

"S-sorry MC..." He says in between coughs, "Ya look lovely..." He gives you an awkward side hug before resuming his activity of choking to death. You turn to the rest of your brothers as they trickle in, Levi was having an anime marathon, and for the sake of the Devildom seas, and the House of Lamentation not flooding for the nth time, he was allowed to stay in his room, provided he ate something of nutritional value, which meant that some time in the next few hours Lucifer would come into the 3rd born's room with a bowl of freshly cut fruit and force the otaku to eat it.

He was such a mother hen.

Speaking of Lucifer....

"MC," Lucifer drawls, catching your attention. "I received your bi-weekly report last night, you did well in all subjects, though I've noticed your History scores have gone down..." Your eldest brother sets his fork down fully and leans in a little closer to you, only a little bit of concern and a whole lot of care in his eyes, no judgement whatsoever. "Are you not understanding the course material? Would you like me to help you with your work? Or we could get you a tutor."

Asmo leans in to your conversation, eye glittering mischievously, he had taken a little longer to come down to breakfast than he usually did. You were sure he eliminated all of the options and knew exactly what demon you were crushing on.

"Now now Luci!~" He interjects, earning a soft glare from Lucifer, "I'm sure it's nothing to worry about, MC's just a little bit....distracted..." He puts his hands on your shoulders.

Lucifer's eyes widen ever so slightly, Belphie and Satan exchange knowing glances, Beel blinks slowly, were you having trouble focusing in class?

Mammon discreetly opens his DDD under the table, if you were having trouble focusing, he knew a few guys who sold some pretty good remedies for that.

You groan, quickly scarfing down the rest of your breakfast before grabbing Mammon and running out the door, your older brother yelling in confusion.

6 other brothers watch you leave, before turning to Asmo.

Belphie is the first to speak, "Alright, who is it?"

"Who's what?" Beel tilts his head, Belphie turns to him with a smile.

"MC has a crush on someone in her History class."

"Oh, okay." Beel turns to Asmo, "Who is it?"

You and Mammon arrive at RAD unusually early, on account of you essentially fleeing the breakfast table like an escaped convict and dragging your brother with you.

Mammon wasn't annoyed at all, despite his outward act, in actuality, he was delighted. You had picked him to drag out of a chair and run with you?! That meant he must be your favourite big brother! His chest puffs out with pride as you both chatter whilst he walks you to your form class. What type of favourite big brother would he be if he let his little sister walk down the scary hallways of school alone?!

"And then Satan said-" You stop uncerimonously when you catch sight of who's at the other end of the corridor, a blush coating your cheeks, barely noticeable on your skin, hardly even there, but Mammon still picked up on it.

"Hey, twerp, what's up wi' ye?" He asks, examining the hallway, taking notice of the only other demon there.

With a baggy dark denim jacket adorned in pins pulled over their RAD uniform, headphones snapped over their ears, messy turquoise hair cascading down their tanned face. The demon is young--Mammon notices--they look around the same age as you, maybe slightly older.

As they get closer and spot MC, they grin, silver braces shining in the light of the RAD hallway. "Hiya MC! You´re in early!" The demon calls out to you, Mammon notes how you swallow thickly before waving shyly at the demon in question as they approach the pair of you.

The demon goes to rub their eyes, but upon remembering the messy yet purposeful placement of black eyeshadow acting as eyeliner, they stop and pout for just a moment before looking at MC and grinning, eyes as grey as stone flickering to Mammon for just a moment, the demon looks to you and raises one of their thick, dark eyebrows.

"This one of your brothers, MC?" They ask, gaze flickering between you and your brother like a faulty lightbulb.

"O-oh uh...yes! Mammon this is C-Caelus....Caelus this is Mammon..." You introduce them.

"Oh, please, call me Cael, everyone does!" They smile politely at Mammon reaching out to shake his hand, Mammon, bites the inside of his cheek to stop his jaw from dropping. You had a....crush on Cael didn't you?"

"Oh aye." Is all he can manage to say.

Cael nods, before turning completely to face you, they eyelashes fluttering ever so slightly, "So, how come you're in early today?..Nice hair by the way!" They run a hand through their dark turquoise hair, messing it up with their long fingers.

"Oh uh thanks Cael!" You bite your lip, trying to figure out what to say next. "I was thinking of getting in early and studying for the test next week...." You lie, though it did sound like a good idea. No way were you explaining the fiasco that was Breakfast.

Mammon watches like a crow, stopping himself from cooing. You were so adorable! His favourite little dickhead's first crush! They grow up so fast!

He cringes internally, thinking, 'What the actual fuck, I sound like Asmo.'

After another moment, he interupts your conversation to tell you that he needs to go, you nod and say goodbye, before continuing to talk to Cael and trying to keep your blushing under control.

Mammon tredges to the courtyard before whistling.

"Hiya Éan!" He coos to the crow that lands perched on his shoulders, the bird looks unamusedly at him, its been a year and the avian was still judging him for the name choice! "Oh stop yer yappin'...." At the unimpressed look Éan gives him, his eyelid twitches. "Well, I know yer gurnin' internally...don't think I'm dim."

Éan caws.

"Look, I need ye ta do somethin' for me, so I do." Mammon groans at the crows shaking of its head. "I'm not askin' ye to assassinate anyone! I just need ye to keep an eye on this one wee demon in m'sister's class..."

Éan blinks, before leaning in closer to Mammon, he pets its head, it leans into the touch.

"Right so listen up, their name's Caelus...but people call 'em Cael...I need ye to keep an eye on them and give me a report back in a day or so, we clear?"

Éan lets out a quiet caw.

"Great!"

After a long day of RAD, you waled into the attic, where Satan and Belphie were unboxing whoopie cushions. Or rather Satan was unboxing whoopie cushions and Belphie was watching him lazily.

"Hi MC." Belphie smiles at you before gesturing to sit beside him, so you do.

"I thought you said my human world pranks were stupid." You look at Belphie.

"I've decided that since I'm such a good role model, I'll give it a go."

You deadpan, about to say something before a bellowing laugh erupts from Satan.

"You? A good role model?" The 4th born wipes a tear from his eye. "What's next? Lucifer breaking up with Lord Diavolo?"

"I don't think they're dating Satie…" You butt in.

Belphie smirks, "Then why are they so gay?"

"He is the Avatar of Pride, I guess." You shrug.

And with that, Satan picks up the whoopie cushion and the three of you begin your descent down the staircase to Lucifer's office. With you making small talk to distract them from Asmo's words in the morning.

You reach Lucifer's office, but now you need to draw him out. Satan walks in.

"Hello Lucifer."

"Your prank's not going to work." Lucifer puts his pen down.

Satan puts a hand over his heart in mock offence. "No, I saw a cat on the streets walking home and I want to adopt it." He says, not even lying.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because you don't need one."

Satan feels wrath bubble up inside him, before he makes a risky move, knowing he needs Lucifer out of his office so you can place the whoopie cushion. "Well if I don't need a cat then you don't need your paperwork!"

He reaches forward and grabs the official documents on Lucifer's desk then bolts.

Lucifer jolts up out of his seat and races after him, out of the office.

That's your cue, quick as a thief on the hunt, you run into your eldest brother's office, and place the whoopie cushion down on his seat, you did it!

"Are you having fun, MC?" Lucifer asks, you jump. Turning around you see a slightly disheveled Lucifer staring at you, eyebrow raised and holding slightly crinkled papers. You back away.

"I wasn't doing anything!" You lie obviously.

"Hmm. Sure….now as for your punishment….I've already strung Satan up in the enterance hall, and I'm certain Belphie has gone somewhere to sleep, when he wakes up he will be appropriately disciplined of course…." He moves closer to you. "Now as for you….." Lucifer clicks his fingers and a desk and chair appear, the waves of magic pushing you into it.

You're going to sit there until I've finished my work. No DDD."

You groan, but don't complain, if it was anyone else out of your brothers, Lucifer would have strung them up like he did with Satan.

An hour goes by, though it seems like several to you, as you're bored out of your mind. Lucifer sets his pen down and stares at you.

"Now, tell me about this Caelus."

You stiffen, knowing better than to lie to your eldest, and strictest brother. "They uh-they're a demon in my class…"

Lucifer raises an eyebrow, prompting you to continue, "And what's this I'm hearing about you having a crush on them?"

"Asmo!" You gurn, covering your face in your hands.

"Asmo and Mammon, actually." Lucifer's lips twitch upwards. "Do you have anything to day for yourself?"

"I won't do drugs."

"MC."

"Okay fine! They're a good demon, I promise! I don't even know if I wanna ask them out yet!"

Lucifer's eyes soften, seeing you now, sitting at a desk, complaining about love…he can't help but be reminded of a different person in a different realm long ago, long passed.

"I trust you, but be careful, okay?"

You nod, something churns in Lucifer's stomach as he looks at you, gracefully moving over to you, and pulling you into a soft hug, arms wrapping around you protectively, as if shielding you from the elements.

"And if ever, you need any help whatsoever, come to me? You understand?"

You nod.

"Say it."

"I understand Luci."

Lucifer smiles, ruffling your hair. "I will always protect you MC."

AND WE'RE DONE!!! this was honetly fun to write, i had no idea where i was going with this and i'm sorry if it doesn't make any sense 🧍‍♂️

fuil (pronounced 'full') means blood, móid (maw-d-ge) means vow or promise, 'to make a vow' would translate to 'móid a thabhairt' (maw-d-ge ah how-ert-ch)

éan (pronounced 'ane') means bird. idk i thought it was funny

[jumpscaregoose]

lyserg diethel in hell is neat basically

lyserg's always had my favourite arc out of the main five guys and I wanna talk about it but mostly the culmination of that arc when he goes to hell. because it is neat and I get to sound ridiculous

lyserg is different from the other main characters in that instead of following a more linear character progression he hits absolute rock bottom and winds up only a few steps ahead of his introduction by the end of the manga. this fucking slaps and I love it.

the crux of his character is similar to the concept of aristotelian hamartia, or a downfall based on a morally neutral fatal flaw (the most pretentious series of words I've ever written). lyserg's parents are killed by hao, he wants revenge, he winds up in the echo chamber of the x laws for a while and spirals. the way lyserg differentiates from a class tragedy is in that he doesn't crash and burn but instead quietly returns to around where he started (but not exactly. like 4 steps ahead).

unlike the other main guys, lyserg doesn't get a big bombastic culmination of his arc (well he does, but considering the rest of them all went to hell at the same time I don't think it counts). his is a lot more understated. and I like that because I'm a loser who likes going over this manga with a fine toothed comb.

for a bit of context as to where lyserg is as a character before this scene we're busting out these scans I have again

^ this scene is about as fucked up as he gets. for most of the second half of the manga the angst is more subdued ^

at his lowest point, lyserg's #1 priority was his revenge on hao. he was willing to do a significant amount of murder and other fucked up shit for this goal. the niles match is this mentality crystallized.

when he's not being put in situations where he can kill people to further his revenge, lyserg is more... quietly depressed. just sitting in the corner all 😔. he is There

and then we get the mastema hell scene (what do you even call it). the character's individual hells are clearly meant to demonstrate traumas/important stuff in relation to the character (the tao mansion, a flooded forest, mount osorezan, and a dante's inferno reference I think?). lyserg's is in london. the area around big ben specifcally. the last moments of happiness he had before his parents' deaths

and actually the big ben thing was a lie. he spawns in next to this building

I'm assuming it's meant to be a church but given how busted it is it could be something else. church is my first guess based on the christian imagery of the x laws as a group. if we take this building as a church meant to represent the x laws, it's also of note that it's broken, like the current state of the group with almost all its members dead

out of all five hells, we only see two significant demons. the first is oh-oni in yoh's, clearly calling back to the osorezan arc. the second is mastema in lyserg's. the demon being named mastema is significant because, at least according to my googling, the name mastema means hatred in hebrew. it's also explicitly stated as a symbol of hatred in the text

my absolute favourite part of this scene is this part though

(my absolute favourite part got bodied by my phone scan rip)

ALSO if this RANDOM BRITTANIA FACTOID is true MISSED OPPORTUNITY FROM TAKEI

six wings for fire and you give the fire guy four. ok. kind of hope this isn't true so we didn't lose anything in the divorce

back to the actual scene, I think the angel form is meant to represent the justice of the x laws as a crutch for actual personal growth. it isn't possible for lyserg to defeat his hatred with the holier-than-thou ideology he's been living with, so he nearly gets crushed

the rest of the scene is significantly less interesting but the cliffsnotes version is that Cool Character Development is implied but happens mostly offscreen in a Takei Moment. read it for yourself if you want the details there because I don't wanna write about them

this next pages makes me feral though

mastema dolkeem. flames of hatred. love it so much. roses are red violets are blue mastema dolkeem has nothing to do with you. yeeessss my boy work on overcoming your need for revenge and grow as a person yesssss

obnoxiously long lyserg rant over thanks for coming

[the-broken-truth]

Can I request RE8 women (Lady D 、Donna...etc,you can pick who you want to write!)be protected by a human who wear full Knight's armor,use sword and sheild to fight,and they think that knight is a man.

But one day, that knight take off the helmet,and they are wrong,the knight is a woman.👩 ⚔

Sorry if I misspelled something, English is not my first language.

Broken Truth (Sharpening my sword): Hm, Dimitrescu or Donna... Dimitrescu or Donna... Hm... Why not both? Let the words weave together!

[Mother Miranda's Chapel - During A Lord Meeting]

"Thus, it would be better if you all were to... Alcina!" The Raven Winged Woman yelled out all of a sudden, causing the regal woman to jolt in her seat and almost drop her cigarette.

"Huh?! What?! Yes, Mother Miranda?" She asked as she looked at the woman in the golden mask.

"In case you forgot where you are - we are in the middle of a meeting and you are allowing your mind to wander instead of remaining focused. Care to explain why you are so distracted?" Miranda asked as she folded her arms with a glare under her mask.

"Please, forgive me, Mother Miranda - I was still...trying to analyze something that happened yesterday. You see - a few of the village's man-things decided to attack my castle." Alcina began.

"What's new about that? You report an attack on your castle once every two to three weeks; what makes this one so different that it's distracting you from the meeting?" Miranda asked.

"Well, Mother Miranda - It wasn't the event itself but the person who came out of nowhere and slaughtered all of the opposers." Alcina said with a slight blush on her face.

"Person? What person?" Miranda asked.

"Well... A Knight."

[Flashback - The Day Before - Attack On Castle Dimitrescu]

Once again - the reckless males of the village gathered again to attack the residents of the grand castle that overshadowed their home, but there were more of them than last time. The full moon shined over the castle, lighting the area around the - there were at least 50 or 60 humans there; armed with farming equipment or small handguns. Alcina and her Daughters were standing before the grand door of their castle - claws and sickles ready - the first man who held a pitchfork made a dash for the eldest daughter but before he could even get close to her, the silhouette of a caped figure shrouded the light of the moon before the figure came crashing down in the middle; acting as a bridge between The Dimitrescus and the Opposers.

The figure rose to their feet and the light of the moon made their features known to all. They were tall - at least 7 feet tall - dressed in a black metal armor that bore wolves on the shoulders and in the chest plate, the eyes of the wolves had rubies for eyes; even the helmet was in the likeness of a wolf and the back of the legs had a tail made of fur - was it real or did the wearer hunt down a beast and take its tail as a trophy. By their side, the pommel of the sword shined in the moonlight and even that was a wolf.

"Who the hell are you?!" The man said.

"Silence, you waste of flesh and blood." A deep voice came from the helmet, making the man flinch - a male was in that suit? That would explain the height. "You dare rally drunken minds to harm your masters? You have no honor and thus no worth, therefore..." His hand came over his side and wrapped around the handle of the sword before slowly pulling it out of its case, "You have no lost your privilege of life for even having the thought of harming House Dimitrescu!" He howled as he darted at the crowd of men with the speed of a beast on the hunt.

With a single swing of his sword - the first 10 men were killed. Alcina and her daughters watched in awe as this armored man slaughtered men who harm on the Dimitrescu Family. With another slash of the massive blade, 8 more were killed. He kept at it until the last man - the one who poisoned all the others to fight a losing battle; he was shivering and dropped his weapon as the tall man walked over to him, his armor and sword dripping with the blood of his lackeys.

"You are the orchestrator of this madness - the one who weaved chaos and delusion into the hearts and minds of these men." He growled as he raised the bloody blade over his head. "It is your fault that wives have become widows, children grow without parental guidance, and fathers...bury their sons; let that weigh on your mind...as you face your creator for judgment." The sword came crashing down upon the man - slicing him right down the middle.

"That...THAT WAS AWESOME!!" The excited cry of the youngest Dimitrescu Daughter as she buzzed over to the knight and began asking him questions: Where did he come from? Where he learned to fight like that? Where he got his sword and armor? If he could teach her how to fight? The Armored Man just stared at her.

"Daniela, that's enough." Alcina said as she cleared her throat and walked over to her daughter and savior, "I thank you for your but assistance but my daughters and I could have handled them." Alcina said.

"A Lady of your stature doesn't need to sully herself with dirt - it's not worth your time or the time of your daughters. Your time is precious and should be wasted with trivial matters such as this." He said before turning on his heel and jumped so high that he was once again cast in the moon's shadow before he fell in the forest somewhere, leaving the daughters and Lady of the castle just standing there...with a light blush on the lady's face.

[End of Flashback]

"HA HA HA HA HA! Lady Super-Sized Bitch has a crush! Oh, this is so rich!" Heisenberg laughed to the point he almost fell out of his seat.

"Silence, you stupid man-thing! You're just mad that he is more of a man than you will ever be!" Alcina roared at her brother who was going to shout back when...

"Hold on, ya talking that a tall dude - black armor with wolves all over it?" Angie asked from Donna's Lap; Alcina looked at her confused.

"Yes, that's my knight." She said.

The doll burst out laughing.

"Your Knight?! That's Donna's Knight! He saved her just last week!" Angie smiled.

"WHAT?!" Alcina yelled - jealousy clear in her voice.

"Yeah - it was late one night; we were looking for a plant that grew on the edge of the valley wall when..."

[Flashback - The Valley of Mist]

"AHHH!" The Dollmaker cried out as the rock under her feet broke away and she began to fall down into the misty darkness of the valley she called her home - tears in her eyes, reaching for the growing moon in the sky that seemed to get smaller and smaller with each second. She closed her eye, waiting for the sudden impact that would end her life of misery when she felt another force - an arm secured itself around her waist and she was pressed a cold chest, she kept her eye closed until she came to a stop and slowly opened them when she came face-to-face with a metal face in a wolf snarl.

"Are you alright, my lady? That would have been quite an unpleasant fall." The deep voice spoke from the metal wolf's locked jaws - Donna's eyes widened at the shining [E/C] eyes that looked back at her from the holes in the helmet.

"I...I am alright." Donna's voice came in a whisper.

"That is good to hear. Now, let's get you back to your companion." The Wolfish Knight said as he looked up and lunged himself up the wall with one clawed hand while holding Donna with the other, refusing to let her go. The moment they reached the top, Angie ran up to them.

"Donna! Are you alright?" She yelled.

"Worry not, Little Angel; your mother is safe, I was not going to let anything happen to her." The Knight said.

"Who are you?" Angie asked.

"I have no name, Little One." The Knight said as he held his hand out to Angie, "Now, take my hand and I'll get both of you back home, it gets rather dangerous around her at this time of night." He said.

Angie looked at the black clawed gauntlet for a moment before she took it and was pulled into an embrace and sat in her mother's lap before the knight rose to his full height and carried the woman bridal style before jumping into the trees - leaping through them like a Forest Cat - before falling to the ground in front of Beneviento Manor and sat them both on their feet. The knight gave them a nod before turning away and leaping away once again - gone from their sight.

[End of Flashback]

"Well...Just because she knew him first doesn't mean that she can have him." Alcina said.

"And what makes you think you deserve him? He saved us first and Donna even saw his eyes; you didn't have a decent conversation with them." Angie said.

"He is my knight and I shall not let anyone take him from me, not even my little sister." Alcina growled at Angie.

"Hey, you can't claim him for yourself if he doesn't want you!" Donna said as she rose from her seat.

"And what makes you think he wants you, little dollmaker?" Alcina smirked.

"I don't know what he wants but if he were here, I would as him!"

Oh, fate - how you be a lady.

The Window above Mother Miranda's head caved inward and two figures came crashing into the stone floor of Mother Miranda's Chapel - the first being one of Karl's Massive Lycans - The Varcolac - and...

THE KNIGHT?!

He was holding the beast by its head as it tried to sink its teeth into his armor. The Varcolac's hand lashed out and knocked the knight into one of the stone walls - making a large hole in it.

"My Knight!" Both Alcina and Donna yelled out before glaring at each other, "Your Knight?!"

A flash of black bolted out of the hole and metal arms wrapped around the beast's neck before twisting - snapping its neck. The Knight dropped the dead creature and exhaled before the wolf face he wore began cracking and broke away: revealing [H/L] [H/C] hair, [E/C] eyes, [S/C] skin with a scar across the face and...

A feminine face?!

THE KNIGHT WAS A FEMALE?!

The knight looked up at Miranda and the other lords before bowing in apology. "Forgive me for this interrupting, this beast attacked my home and I had to put it down." She said. Alcina was quick and was at the knight's side with her hand on the knight's shoulder.

"It's quite alright, cavalerul meu (My Knight). You had to do what needed to be done to keep your lady safe. If you wish, I can bring you to Castle Dimitrescu for a meal and a safe place to recover; it's the least I can do, Darling." Alcina blushed at her words while the woman in armor just looked at her in confusion before she was pulled away from Alcina.

"Hey, Tall One! It's been a while! Thanks for saving us from that thing. Sorry about your mask, Donna and I can get it fixed for you and you can stay with us while it gets fixed." Angie said while Donna smiled.

"Excuse me?!" Alcina said as she marched up to her little sister, the knight moving back. "I was the one who invited my knight to stay at Castle Dimitrescu while she heals, you can't roach on my bonding time with my future partner!" Alcina yelled at the veiled woman.

"And who said she wants you, Alcina?! Didn't you see if was uncomfortable with the way you were touching her?! It's clear she doesn't want you!" Donna yelled back.

"She does! Don't you, cavalerul meu?!" Alcina turned to the knight...only to find her gone. "What?!" She looked around, "Where did she go?!"

"She jumped back out that window while you two were arguing. Looks like she doesn't want either one of you." Karl smirked.

"SHUT UP, KARL!!!" Donna/Alcina/ and Angie yelled at him.

[End]

[sophi-s]

After three days. Three freaking days.

It is finished.

A kiss to die for

By: sophi-s (me)

Words: 4,531

Franchise: Darksiders video games

Characters: Fallen!Astarte, Abaddon

Warnings: Graphic descriptions of violence, blood and gore, near death experience, angst, necromancy, I changed the storyline just a tiny bit for the purposes of this, Abaddon gets his ass handed to him by his ex :P.

--------------------------------------------------

Eden. The first gift from the Creator himself to the Humanity. A home for the First Ones. Once, an indescribably beautiful place full of grand trees and fresh, soft grass, flowing with cool, crystal clear waters. Colorful fruits growing in the trees, a delight to eye and tongue. Within, no danger could reach Humanity's ancestors. Truly a paradise the first humans rightfully called it. But now, after a great war that took place here, seemingly not that long ago, the great garden was left scarred and burning. Made into a tomb for those who sought to claim it. Bodies of Nephilim were left to burn and decay, forgotten and abandoned.

However, something has changed. A dark shadow passed over the sacred graveyard, leaving only madness and corruption in its wake. Those who perished picked themselves up from the ground and lashed out at Eden's guardians. Surprised and unable to respond with a coordinated defensive, the Faneguard had to call for retreat after their leader, Malahidael fell to the blades and arrows of the living dead. Amongst the scattered angels was the general of Heaven's Legions. Trying his best to keep his brethren focused and plan a tactical escape.

At least that's what he was trying before. Before he saw the cause of this nightmare. Now, outstretched on the ground in the dust, he forced himself up onto his elbow as he crawled towards his discarded blade, clutching at his chest that felt as though it had been caved in after a charging monstrosity trampled him in full speed.

How could this happen?

Fighting with his chaotic thoughts, he finally got a hold of the hilt but when he turned around, it was already too late. A large paw armed with razor-sharp claws landed on him, pinning him down and successfully immobilizing his lower half. And then his own blue eyes stared up into a pair of white ones, the same eyes that doomed him from the moment he met their gaze for the first time. The eyes that occupied his thoughts when he was awake and his dreams while he slept. Eyes of Astarte.

But what stood above him… this thing, this monster was Astarte no longer. From the waist up, the woman was stunningly beautiful as she always was, with her pale white eyes and long flowing, platinum blonde hair. But her legs have been replaced by a body of a feline beast with wings coated in blackness of corruption, feathers shimmering with red glyphs. A wicked smile was twisting her petal like lips and wherever her clawed paws fell, the dead bodies shivered and rose, called back into the accursed unlife. Utter insanity shone in her eyes.. Keeping his stone façade was no longer possible as inwardly he was falling apart. Astarte. The same Astarte who would kill and die for him, the same who he trusted more than anyone. The same Astarte he dared to love. Her smirk grew wider as she chuckled.

"Who do we have here? The great general of Heaven's Legions Abaddon himself!"

The unfamiliar taunting tone of her voice sent a shiver down his spine, as did the way she bared her teeth in a disturbing grin. Giving the large paw a tug to try and wriggle free, quickly realising it's pointless as the damned thing didn't even budge, Abaddon took a struggling breath, pretty sure his sternum was damaged if not broken.

"Astarte…"

His voice came out as a broken, pleading whisper. He still couldn't… or maybe he didn't want to… cope with what he was seeing clearly like on the palm of his hand. Astarte, his most formidable soldier, the strongest of them all, and the only woman in the Universe he felt something special for… Fallen into the vice-like grip of Lucifer's corrupting influence. Gone was the gentle smile that crawled its way up onto her face whenever she spotted him. Abaddon swallowed thickly when he noticed the spear in her hand poised to strike and carve his broken heart out from his chest. Astarte would never harm him…

"I was wondering when you'd show up."

She scoffed and used her other paw to press his right arm to the ground should he try to take a swipe at her. But they both knew far too well that he couldn't have, even if he wanted to. Astarte leaning over him was still the one his heart yearned for, still beautiful just… in a different, more horrifying way. Through the ringing in his ears after his head cracked against a rock, he could hear someone call out to him but whoever it was, they were successfully pushed back by the horde of undead Nephilim.

"Astarte, don't do it.."

He quietly begged, even though he never begs. Seeing her like this, twisted and bestial, did something to him he couldn't quite comprehend. Touched that part of his soul he didn't even know about. Strangely enough, even in her madness, Astarte must've sensed something in him that gave her a pause as she curiously tilted her head to one side. All the moments, even the shortest ones, he'd spent with Astarte in the past were flashing before his eyes. Every time they had one another's back in battle, every time one saved the other's life, every time they spoke about the things they would never tell anyone else whenever they were alone. And that memorable moment when they stood together, away from the prying eyes that moonlit night. Abaddon was listening to her as she asked him if what she feels is right, if there's any possible way he feels that way as well. He almost laughed at her obliviousness and the fact that his love was there before she even realised her own. Of course.. He took her hands in his and gazed into her eyes, absolutely mesmerized, waiting for permission to finally grant her the proof of his love and devotion, one which she silently gave him with a nod and a smile.

"I would walk through the fire of Nine Hells for you."

He said before leaning down to place a chaste kiss on her lips. A kiss, stolen kiss he was dying to receive. It was very brief but still felt like his first flight over the White City. Liberating, wonderful and equally as intoxicating. Those were the most beautiful memories he'd ever made but now they were like a parasite buried deeply into his brain, one that refused to leave his head, reminding him of better times and cackling maniacally at him as the present was coming undone before his very eyes. He wanted those memories to go. But there was no escape. Neither from them nor from Astarte herself.

"Look at me.."

"I am."

"Please, come to your senses. It's not you.. You need to fight it, I know you have it in you. Don't leave me like this… Don't you remember everything I'd done for you? Everything you'd done for me ?"

For a second, Astarte's grin fell, making place for a thoughtful expression and for this short second Abaddon dared to hope that there's still light in her. That he somehow managed to get to her. But all these hopes were taken away when she shook her head and looked at him… not with anger. It was pity, plain and simple as she spoke in a condescending tone.

"Fool. So loyal and righteous. Look around! The war had ended long ago, yet we remain stranded in this forsaken tomb! We've been abandoned and no one will set us free if we don't do so ourselves! Don't tell me you cannot see it."

He couldn't believe his ears. It wasn't the honorable and just angel he used to know. The Astarte he knew was gone. This was a twisted monster bearing the visage of his dearest, taunting him with her beauty that was always keeping his hand paralyzed whenever he tried to strike her even though his life depended from it.

"I have chosen my path, Abaddon. And you can walk it with me.."

Abaddon eyed her hand warily as she stretched it out to him, offering him help in standing up. He was torn. On the one hand, he so, so wanted to accept and be with Astarte as he used to. No one would take her from him ever again. But taking her hand would also mean slipping into the hateful darkness. Welcoming the sullying blackness inside and succumbing to madness. Straying from the light and forsaking his duty in favor of the same accursed power that destroyed her.

It was a dangerous thing, this love.. Pushing even the most reasonable people to do unthinkable and dangerous things in the name of it. More often than not at costs that rarely make it worth it. Lucifer knew this. And he used it as a weapon against Abaddon by turning Astarte. He knew not what the Dark Prince offered her but it must've been worth losing oneself. Astarte was now Lucifer's servant, not the love of Abaddon's eternal life. He couldn't… he couldn't end up like her. His already bleeding heart screamed out with anguish when he finally gathered himself to speak.. and refused.

"I… can't do this, Astarte. Not even for you…"

"That's a pity…"

Abaddon grunted in pain when the pressure on his wrist increased to the point when he could feel his bones beginning to crack. And then as suddenly as it appeared, the crushing weight was gone, both from his arm and his chest. But he wasn't free. His breath was abruptly cut off when Astarte's slender fingers, which often fiddled with his hair when he had a moment to lie down and rest after a hard day, looking up at her sitting beside his head, before all this, mercilessly curled around his throat and lifted him up to her eye level until his toes could no longer reach the ground. She was strong. Stronger than he remembered. His left hand grasped Astarte's wrist as he tried to struggle free while he raised his sword to attack. But… looking deep into her eyes, at her face, mouth curved in a poisonous sweet smile, the silken skin of her cheeks… His hand trembled. Once again he proved her and himself he doesn't have it in him to do this. Damn it all. This one, seemingly harmless emotion was what ultimately led him to his own doom. If he'd never fallen for Astarte he wouldn't be here, flapping his wings madly in an attempt to wriggle out of her hold. But he couldn't command his heart. It would not listen to him.. Abaddon couldn't simply stop loving Astarte. Her eyebrows furrowed in a gentle frown and he felt the tip of her gilded spear press insistently against his abdomen, right under his ribs. Cold sweat began to bead around his brow. Oh Creator…

"Fret not, love.."

Astarte purred, making him finally stop beating his wings and look her in the eye again only to see an unsettling spark in there. Despite the obvious danger, hearing her call him her "love" in this deceivingly sweet voice still made his racing heart skip a beat.

"It won't be long.. And when you die, you'll be forever at my side. Just as you desired."

As a monster, not unlike her. A living corpse that defiled the natural order by its existence itself. He didn't want to go like this. What an end it is for a general of Heaven? Killed by his own lieutenant and brought back to life as a shambling husk of what he used to be? Preposterous. Cold lump of fear settled into the pit of his stomach. He could only count seconds. One.. two… it didn't even come to three when the blade sunk deeply into his flesh, piercing the armor as though it wasn't even there in the first place and running him through. After all, the spear was created specifically to fight armored opponents… Abaddon wanted to scream out in pain but the wail of agony was cut short by the firm grasp on his throat that stopped the air escaping his lungs. Pain clouded his vision but did not silence his racing thoughts. He was weak. He couldn't strike Astarte down as his enemy, denying her the well deserved rest and falling to her blade like a fool he felt like. He struggled to breathe and keep his eyes opened when he felt Astarte loosen her ironclad grip on his neck and move her hand to his face, oh so gently pulling the strands of his hair, matted with sweat, to the side and behind his ear before placing the same hand on the back of his neck to keep his head still. He gasped for air through his opened mouth as blood was beginning to well up in his throat and dribble down his chin. And then Astarte unexpectedly leaned in and decisively captured his lips with her own, granting him the final kiss for a farewell.

Abaddon's eyes widened in fear and shock but even though the pain of the spear through his side, he found himself going slack in Astarte's arms. His ornate blade clattered to the ground when his fingers unfurled and let it slip out. No strength remained within him to even try and respond to Astarte's lips, even if he wanted to. But what he hoped to be his last comfort turned out to be nothing more than a cruel torment with how cold and meaningless the kiss felt. It was nothing like the one back in the White City. Hollow seconds ticked by. It tasted only of the blood flooding his tongue and the bitter defeat. No love, no passion and no feelings remained in her black heart. Only the empty void and tasteless ashes… Monster. Astarte no longer… She would never hurt him…

Astarte knew him and all of his weak spots all too well. She knew how and where to strike to make it hurt. And this last kiss was only a tool to her. There wasn't any physical pain anymore when she finally pulled away with his blood painting her lips in deep crimson and let his body slip down the spear to collapse onto the shriveled grass. The last thing Abaddon saw before numbing darkness swallowed him was Astarte delightedly licking his scarlet life essence on her mouth and teeth before she hummed contentedly

"Farewell, my love. I'll see you again soon enough…"

She stood close, gazing at the distant stars shimmering in the black sky.

"The night sure is beautiful."

"It is. Even more so with you around."

"Tsk. Sweet-talker…"

In the impenetrable black, Abaddon heard nothing, saw nothing and felt nothing aside from the dull ache within his chest. Betrayal… Every beat of his heart was a torture. He couldn't even tell if it was really beating or not anymore. It bled ceaselessly. Craving for the lost love. Crying out to Astarte as something started to tug at the strings of his very soul. Trying to pull him free from his still body that refused to move no matter how much he wished to stand or at least sit up. Memories were passing all too quickly through his head. Eyes shining with uncertainty, a relieved smile as he staggered upright with a pained grimace that was supposed to be a comforting smile..

" Are you certain everything is alright? For a moment there I was afraid you were gone.."

"Never, my light. I would never leave you."

He wasn't going to the Kingdom of the Dead, he was certain. Astarte would make sure of it.. Curse Lucifer.. curse this wretched feeling still coiled in his chest, like a festering plague. Warriors of Heaven are people of unbreakable steel. Calm and collected beings of logic. But when it comes to honest feelings, there's nothing in between. They either don't care or love to the death. And when they love and it all falls apart, their hearts break like no one else's. No, they don't even break… they shatter to a million pieces like a frozen flower. And even if they are ever put back together, they're never the same. Those scars run too deep to ever disappear. Curse everything… Soft hair he tangled his fingers in, a heartbeat right beside his… warm presence next to him and a misleadingly delicate cheek pressed to the skin on top of his chest..

"What happens now then?"

"Doesn't matter. As long as we stay together."

"We will, Abaddon…"

He tasted the copper tinge of blood again as Astarte's voice echoed in his head when she swore to him. When he believed her..

I  P R O M I S E .

Those two words… They meant a world to him. Even after he saw what Astarte had become… Abaddon desperately clung to those words like a drowning man holds onto the final breath until the very last second. And that was his downfall. She promised me…

The last memory of Astarte before all this chaos wormed its way into his mind. A less pleasant one. He could see there was something wrong with her back then. This was the first time they had a true falling out. Well.. can this really be called a falling out if it was just him being yelled at? Astarte was changed already. Something happened to her after the Nephilim slaughter. Something he had foolishly overlooked. Maybe he was just too preoccupied with his own grief? Blood tumbled down from her wound, painting both her and his armor in vibrant red from where a crude spear met her body… 

It didn't take long for the last of the Nephilim to fall when this happened. She held onto life tightly as he led her deeper into the garden where healers would take care of her. Abaddon waited outside the tent, pacing back and forth until Azrael, who'd been tending to Astarte himself, walked out. A slender hand fell onto his shoulder, stopping him in his tracks and making him look at his old friend bearing a sullen expression. He'd never been so terrified in his life like in this short moment when he waited for Azrael to inevitably tell him that it was too late to help her but he merely asked Abaddon to come with him inside. Somehow, it was even worse. He saw her sitting on the edge of a cot, face pale, lips pressed into a thin line, staring at nothing. Eyes of other angels were on the three of them as the two archangels walked in. It was a relief to see her alive but there was no doubt that something was wrong. The patches of fresh crimson staining her trousers on her inner thighs only confirmed his suspicions. And Azrael didn't keep him waiting for an explanation.

"She was with child.."

The news hit him like a slug to the face. With a sack of bricks no less. Astarte, his beloved, bearing his blood in her womb. By all means he should feel ecstatic. He should rejoice. But this one word, this tiny word filled him with absolute dread. Was.

"The blade went deep.. There was nothing I could do. I'm sorry."

Who knows how long he stood there like a wooden stake? There was nothing I could do. Azrael was inarguably the best healer in the White City. He knew what he was saying. And yet… Abaddon found it difficult to believe his words. A child. His child. Died before they even had a chance to live.. It hurt more than any wound he'd ever received. When he finally could move, he approached Astarte and sat beside her, reaching for her hand to give her something to hold on to. But her violent reaction caught him off guard. She jerked away, her words dripped like acid.

"It's your fault. Get away from me!"

"Astarte, listen.."

"No! It never should've happened! Why would you do this to me?!"

This was the first time she called him per "you" in the presence of other angels. He knew not what she was truly going through but if his own sorrow was any indication, it must've been a nightmare. They'd lost something they didn't even know they had and it felt like the end of the world they'd built together. In a way, it was... Abaddon tried reaching out again but Astarte batted his hand away and leaped up to her feet despite the pain.

"Don't touch me! Do not speak to me, get off!"

"Astarte!"

He managed to call out before she stormed out of the tent, wrapping her wings around herself as a barrier that could protect her from the world around. Were it not for a firm grip on his arm, he would've gone after her. It was Nathaniel who stopped him. Abaddon looked at his friend, the right side of his face wrapped up in bandages just like his side he was keeping his hand over.

"It's not going to help. Let her go for now."

It's been a long time since he felt this lonely. He left the tent without another word, ignoring whatever it was Azrael was saying, and walked away from the camp like a wandering spectre who lost its way to the Well. And when he was far enough, he found himself collapsing on the ground, angrily hitting it with his fist as though it was the culprit here. They died without so much of a name.. Abaddon knew that what Astarte said wasn't true. He had no idea, it can't have been his fault… and yet this thought kept bothering him.

I should've protected you better. I have failed you.. both of you…

It took a couple of shaky breaths to collect his thoughts. Unable to do anything else, he pulled himself to his knees, clasped his hands together and started to whisper a prayer, seeking compassion in the Creator and his silent presence.

Astarte was already slipping after that and the prolonged stay in Eden only made it worse. She became distant and irritable, constantly itching for a fight, be it with words or blades. He thought she needed time to grieve. But this was something else. Something more sinister. Perhaps if he noticed it earlier.. done something… If only…

The odd tugging suddenly ceased and moments later a wave of comforting warmth washed all over him, gathering in his side where he was impaled. Deep within his chest, he felt his heart quiver, desperately fighting to keep beating. At first he thought he was merely waiting for Astarte to pull him back into the land of the living as a detestable abomination but no.. He yet lived. His thoughts were abruptly dispersed when he heard voices, very familiar and concerned voices, break through, the buzzing in his head.

"Did that do it?"

"Is he even alive ?"

"Hard to tell. It doesn't look good.."

"No, it doesn't.. Do you think we got to him on time?"

"I do not know. I'm not even sure if- Wait, I think he moved."

Abaddon indeed stirred, prying his eyes open with no small effort, immediately regretting his choice after a far too bright light intruded underneath his eyelids, and descending into a fit of uncontrollable coughs, spitting out all the blood that remained within as soon as he took a deeper breath. Pain. Horrible, excruciating pain filled his chest. He had been right. His sternum was definitely broken.

Damn all of it. Damn Lucifer, damn the Nephilim and damn the blasted air that hurt his lungs with every breath. Mist eventually fell from his sights, revealing to him familiar, tired faces of angelic soldiers leaning over him with distressed looks. His men. The Faneguard. They survived. Some of them at least… Malahidael wasn't so lucky.. One of them, Fariel if his memory doesn't deceive him, was holding up Abaddon's hand in his, and held between his curled fingers, Abaddon noticed an emptied crystal, a used up healing shard glimmering in the sunlight as the energy that was channelled into his body began to close the torn blood vessels.

"Lord Abaddon. Can you hear me?"

Gasping for another bit of air, horribly weakened but still very much alive and likely to stay that way, Abaddon gurgled out a disturbing sound that was supposed to be a miserable chuckle. In honesty, it sounded more like a dying demon than a laugh.. It only served to agitate them even further until he breathed out with relief and nodded as no coherent word could form in his mouth. What happened to Astarte when he was on death's door, he could only guess. But one thing he was sure of. She was still out there. Raving mad and dangerous to all who step into Eden. The law was clear. Astarte had fallen into darkness, defiled the dead and raised her weapon against her brethren. This was not an easy decision but after what he'd seen and lived through, Abaddon was certain now. He tried to bring her back, save her from the hate that grew within her like a malicious weed. But she was clearly too far gone. He couldn't help her.. Too late. As always, he was too late. Whether Abaddon likes it or not, Astarte needs to die. There was nothing more he could do for her. But he won't be the one to play the executioner and the hand of justice. He knew he couldn't. He'd failed twice already.. It will be done, just… not now.

Perhaps another time… They were safe for now. And he needed to think… Abaddon lifted his free hand to his mouth. It was still there, this horrid sensation.. and he knew it won't go away for a long, long time. Resting his head against the ground, he exhaled heavily as blessed unconsciousness started to take a hold on him once more. He needed to rest. They all did…

Even as he was falling into the dark again, he could still feel Astarte's venomous kiss upon his lips. Burning like fire and sinking cruel claws into his chest. Would he ever forgive her for tearing his heart apart? Probably. It wasn't her fault after all. It can't be, can it? Would he ever forget, though? Unlikely.. Abaddon couldn't help but wonder… if it was all his fault? He couldn't command his feelings and order them to leave him. But still, he felt guilty. Not even for Astarte's fall anymore but for ever letting this infatuation control him. That's where this love had gotten him so far. It left him weak and vulnerable. It was beautiful while it lasted but now? Only suffering remained.

No wonder Heaven has such a disdain for love. It causes naught but misery and ruin. A dire thought invaded his hazy mind. It matters not what Astarte had done. He still loved her. Soon, she will be put to rest. And him? Well.. Every, even the greatest warrior has to fall in battle. Eventually… And when that day comes, he will be ready to embrace his end. When that day comes.. they will meet again. Maybe... But until then… His heart hastened even still as he took another breath and silently told himself…

…Never again…

--------------------------------------------------

It.. it was supposed to be short? I did say short fic, didn't I? Uhh.. Whoops 😓

Also, Gimp 2 has nearly succeed in driving me nuts. In Poland we say "stand on eyelashes and clap one's ears" when something is nigh impossible. Yeah. That was that.

Btw, I take back everything I said about Abaddon's shoulder pads , they're mf'ing gorgeous 👌

[destieldrabblesdaily]

hello there (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ I'm pretty new to destiel and just found your blog because I wanted to look into some fanfics and someone recommended & turns that you have like a billion one shots for destiel! love your writing style but, I'm not sure where to start in your drabbles tag because it's soooo much (ﾟдﾟ) can u maybe point me to some popular ones or some that you preferred writing or something like that to get me started? thank you anyway (ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿

Hey friend! 

Ahh, I totally get you. :p A billion is a bit ambitious, but with like 400 stories in one tag and no way to sort, it might get tricky. *sweats nervously for not having a better tagging system*

But anyway, you rock for finding my blog and liking my style, so here is a little something to help you out! For starters, a lot of my stories are also on AO3, which is still a realm of chaos, but is a hell of a lot easier to navigate than my tumblr tag. 

Anyway, here is a little map to get you started, sorted by my most popular Destiel fics (according to AO3), and ones I personally just loved writing!

—

Canon!Verse fics, most popular:

1) CursedTeam Free Will is hunting a witch, but before she dies she turns Cas into a kitten. They can’t find a cure, and after two weeks everyone is losing hope. One night when Cas is sleeping on Dean’s chest, the curse fades and he turns into himself again. As Dean’s luck would have it, Sam walks into the living room seeing Dean sprawled out on the couch with a very naked Castiel on top of him.

2) JealousyWhen Dean, Sam and Castiel are having a drink at a bar after a hunt, Dean finds Cas flirting with a guy, and suddenly realizes something about his own feelings for the angel… 

3) Dream A Little DreamCastiel goes after a Djinn but gets captured, and of course his dream world is all about Dean and him being happy together, so he’s very disappointed when Dean and Sam save him and he wakes up… 

4) With A Little Help From My FriendDean is really nervous about finally telling Castiel how he feels, so he practices over Skype with Charlie. Naturally, Cas chooses that exact moment to drop by, and ends up hearing the whole thing…

5) WhiteboardFor a while now, there has been a whiteboard in Dean’s room. When failing to say the words out loud, there’s always the option to write them down. So that’s exactly what Castiel suggests, and Dean humors him, the two of them finding new ways to understand and forgive each other by working through some issues from both the present and the past.

—

Soulmate AU’s, most popular:

1) What Can’t Be SeenSoulmate AU where you first see color after eye contact: Cas is a famous best selling author and he’s promoting his book, so he’s talking to a crowd of people and suddenly his world is in color, and a lot of his fans pretend to be his soulmate. A Cinderella type situation ensues.

2) The PendantAU where instead of a tattoo/name everyone’s born with a pendant/charm necklace that matches their soulmate’s. Dean walks into their bathroom thinking it’s empty, but there’s Cas taking off his shirt to take a shower and Dean sees his necklace (that matches Dean’s, obviously) and freaks out (because Dean is totally 100% NOT gay at all). Bonus if Cas already knows.

3) Daffodils & Forget-Me-NotsSoulmate AU where when you write something on your skin with pen/marker/whatever the hell you want, it will show up on your soulmate’s skin as well.

—

High School AU’s, most popular:

1) No HomoFor the prompt: ‘I wasn’t gay, but then I kissed you in front of some homophobes to piss them off, and turns out I might be kinda gay for you after all’. In which a kiss makes Dean realize that he has feelings for his best friend.

2) This Game We PlayDean and Castiel have been best friends since they were little, and sleepovers are a common event. They’ve always loved playing the game where they draw out letters on each others backs and try to guess what the other is writing. Even though sixteen seems to be a bit too old to still play the game, Castiel uses it as a chance to silently confess something that he’s been wanting to share with Dean for a long time.

3) Camping and CuddlesDean and Castiel have been best friends since forever, and they decide to go on a camping trip to celebrate graduating high school. When it starts raining and Cas’ tent turns out to have a huge hole in it, the boys are forced to share Dean’s tent, and things heat up.

4) The CallCastiel accidentally butt dials his best friend Dean, and Dean overhears a conversation that wasn’t meant for his ears. Or: the one in which Dean finds out that his best friend has feelings for him.

5) Practice Makes Perfect‘It’s not gay if it’s practice, but shit that was actually really nice wanna practice some more?’ Or, the one in which Dean offers to help his best friend Cas improve his kissing skills, until it’s no longer just ‘practice’. 

(If you are particularly into High School AU’s, I also made a complete list of al my HS AU’s that you can find here –> Click!

—

College/Roommate AU’s, most popular:

1) What It MeansDean’s roommate and best friend Castiel always says ‘I love you’ to him every night before they go to sleep. Seeing as Dean has some serious feelings for his friend, he can’t take the confusion any longer and one night asks Cas what it means when he says ‘I love you’. 

2) If At First You Don’t SucceedFor the prompt: “Wait, did you just flirt with me?“ “Have been for the past year, but thanks for noticing.

”Dean has a huge crush on his friend Castiel, with whom he also shares an apartment. When he decides that he finally wants to woo Cas, everything that could possibly go wrong, does indeed go wrong.

3) UnbrokenDean’s best friend and roommate Castiel is asexual, and it’s causing Cas a lot of trouble when it comes to dating. Cas feels broken, but Dean deeply disagrees; he’d be with Cas in a heartbeat, if only Cas would see him as more than a friend… 

4) Safe And SoundFor the prompt: ‘College!AU where Dean and Cas are roommates and one of them is afraid of thunder, so naturally they have to huddle/cuddle together until the storm is over.’

5) Hot & ColdDean and his best friend Castiel get stuck in the middle of nowhere when the Impala’s engine gives up on them. A snowstorm is raging, and it seems that the only way to keep warm is a method that sounds a lot like ‘naked cuddling’. Not that Dean is complaining.

—

Blind/Deaf AU’s, most popular:

1) Through Your EyesDean’s best friend Castiel is blind, which is why Cas loves it whenever Dean describes the things as he sees them. When Castiel gets curious and wants more details about Dean’s looks, Dean is reluctant to go into detail about them. Castiel’s solution is simple, and demands nothing more than a gentle touch.

2) At First SightDean has been blind since he was four years old, but at 18 years old he regains his sight through special surgery. This also means that he will finally be able to actually see his boyfriend Castiel for the first time. Castiel is excited, but at the same time utterly terrified that Dean won’t approve of his looks…

3) MisunderstandingsWhen the handsome new student Castiel Novak arrives at Lawrence High, Dean has every intention of making him feel welcome. However, Castiel seems to ignore Dean whenever Dean tries to talk to him…

4) DeliciousImagine your OTP, based on this text post: ‘Okay, so I’m a waitress at this restaurant that’s open really late and it’s nearly 1am and this family comes in and I’m so tired that I handed their BLIND SON a menu and he’s like “ah… thank you… I’ll just… read this” in a serious voice and I fucking snorted.'With blind!Dean and waiter!Cas.

—

Personal favorites to write:

1) Her Favorite Love StoryThe story of Dean and Castiel as seen through Mary Winchester’s eyes; AKA how she witnesses her oldest son fall in love with his best friend. 

2) The MatchmakerBased on this prompt: “My cat keeps breaking into your apartment next to mine, so I tied a note to its collar to apologize, and you write back. We keep exchanging cat notes, and you turn out to be pretty cute.” 

3) WingsWhen ten year old Dean Winchester and his family move to a new town, he becomes best friends with the boy next door, who happens to be an actual angel. Dean is fascinated with Castiel’s wings from the start, however when they get older, Cas suddenly starts hiding them and no longer wants Dean to groom them for him.

4) BlackboardsFor the prompt: 'Dean and Cas are both high school teachers, and they leave each other cute notes on each others’ black boards.’

5) To Date a DickCas is out on a date with a complete and utter asshole in a really nice restaurant, and Dean is their waiter who feels the need to intervene.

6) Angel Grace (2 Parts)Dean Winchester loves going to conventions to meet the cast of his favorite TV show 'Angel Grace’. Aside from being good at his job, lead actor Castiel Novak is charming, handsome, and has a heart of gold. Like many fans, Dean has a serious crush on the guy. However after meeting Castiel several times, it’s starting to look like Dean’s crush isn’t as one sided as Dean had always assumed it was.

—

Holiday Specials:

❄ Destiel Drabbles: December/Christmas Edition Fluffy Christmas-themed Destiel stories to warm the cockles of your heart during the cold December days! 

❄ All I Want For ChristmasDuring a big family get together, a drunk Castiel starts singing ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ to his best friend Dean while the whole family watches.

🕷Destiel Drabbles: Halloween EditionSome fluffy Halloween themed Destiel drabbles. Happy Halloween!

🕷Kiss Or TreatCastiel has been dutifully handing out Halloween candy all night, entertaining the many kids ringing the Novak house’s doorbell, but he’s in for a big surprise when the bell rings once more and it’s his crush Dean Winchester suddenly standing there on his front porch…

🕷Of Holding Hands and Haunted HousesFor the prompt: 'You’re scared of haunted houses and Halloween attractions, and I don’t even know you but your friends left you behind (what dicks) so I’m gonna hold your hand and get you through this, alright?’

♥Valentine’s DayFor the prompt: 'Cas anonymously sending Dean one of those school Valentine’s Day flowers with a little personalized note, thinking that someone as popular as Dean won’t notice his message anyway because he gets so many. Little does he know that Dean sent one to him as well…’

—

If you feel like reading a multi-chapter Destiel fic, I wrote one of those as well: 

Fortune CookiesDean and his best friend Jo own a bakery together. When a salesman named Crowley visits Dean to make a deal, Dean has no idea of the consequences, and his world turns upside down when an actual angel literally crashes into his life. For the first time in his thirty-year-existence, Dean is overwhelmed by real companionship, wings, and most of all… love.

—

Or for easily reading and clicking through short fluffy (mostly canon!verse) Destiel stories, go here:

~ 100 Days of Destiel Drabbles ~

Or here: 

~ 30 Days of Destiel Drabbles ~

—

Hope this was helpful, and happy reading! :D (I really need to become a better tagger, ahum. :p)

[thefinalkey16]

KH3 Re:Mind spoilers/Reactions

So Xemnas gave the order?? To find the box?? But why??

So did Xigbar actually lose the box? YOU HAD ONE JOB

Oh we’re starting HERE HUH

I forgot how pretty the graphics are

Why is Riku so pretty???

Nomura really went “this DLC is about SOKAI and I’m gonna make sure you KNOW IT.”

Nomura really cares about his ship and I appreciate it so much

LETS GO SAVE OUR GIRL!

Heck yeah REMIND TIME

I love the music in this game so much

YES WE GET MORE MOM

Why does MOM adopt smol children lol

It bothers me that MOM has no actual face behind the hood. It’s like Ansem’s original form

So Xehanort is where Xemnas’s confusion of the heart comes from lol

OH THIS IS PREMASTER XEHANORT

I’m sorry, Xehanort is more powerful than darkness?

I’m sorry MOM is too scared to take off the coat???

MOM is a psychology teacher who gets exasperated by his dumb students

OH THATS JUST RUDE NOMURA

LEMME KNOW HIS NAME

A lost..Master?

Well we know where Xehanort got the hands behind the back walk from

OOO A NEW THEME

OH I LOVE IT

I’m 100% sure that MOM told him his name was “Noneya,” and it took a few decades before he realized what he actually said

DID THEY TELEPORT TO LOOK COOL ON THE ROCKS

I’m sorry they have holograms??

Did they actually call him Riku Replica lol

Wait they were actually nobodies

XEMNAS AND XEHANORT WERE REPLICAS?

“Why we have assembled here,” because Xemnas and Sora destroyed your sick castle

Poor Terra got possessed TWICE?

Demyx! You get Demyx!

I’m sorry 20??

No. I

Oh so they don’t actually remember Xion

Does.. does Xigbar remember Xion?

Wow they got Vexen just to get his daughter in their gang. How rude

Xehanort fell asleep while they chatted I’m cackling

Crazy old man

Now when do I get to save Kairi? :3c

YAY ITS TIME

YAY ITS CHIRITHY TIME

ITS MY SMOL KITTY

“Back so soon?”=you died again?? You’re lame

Chirithy is a mood

Sora you watched your GF get shattered

Oh so that’s why Sora dies

IS SORA SAILOR PLUTO

Oh my god he’s Sailor Pluto

Lose powers? He’s done that so many times 😂

Getting banned from one world? He had a phone and friends with gummi ships lol

ARE WE GONNA SEE EVERONES HEART STATION??

NOOO VEN That still hurts to watch

AWW SORA TRIED TO CATCH HIM

Wow he’s a ghosty ghost

Oh I love Ven’s heart station so much

Wow Vanitas really said that Ven is Baby

YAS GIMME VANITAS

Also wow Vanitas is protecting Ven’s heart and I love that

OH NO NOT THIS GUY

I beat him by using Meow Wow. meow wow is best boy

Oh no oh no it’s this pet

Gotta love Big Bro Lea

I forgot they call him Axel

ITS THE HUG

It’s Donald’s Safrifice ;-;

Donald Really channeled his inner Molly Weasley and said “Not my son you WITCH.”

WASTED

Also aw Sora got to see what Donald did for the first time

AQUA’S STATION IS SO PRETTY

Poor Aqua ;-; this is the moment where everyone hates her for

Also aww she trusts Kairi to protect them

We love Big Sis Aqua

YES WE GET ANTI AQUA FIGHT AGAIN

NAMINEEEEE

I’m literally screaming and I scared my grandma

Oh my god She lost Kairi and she immediately went to Sora cause she knew she’d be safe there ;-;

Namine’s Really here bringing everyone together

Agsisgsjdg I forgot Terra can do the keyblade whip thing lol

AND the cannon

Wow they’re really fighting in the sky

Anyone else getting Star Wars vibes

AWW HE JUST WANTS TO PROTECT HIS FAMILY

I still hate Terra’s pants

Imagine your heart crushing your body. Like really

NO LINGERING WILL

HECK YEAH SORA YOU KICK THEIR BUTT

Wow Sora you’re so cocky

LINGERING WILL NO

OH MY GOD

I forgot that Marluxia is an Ouran Host Club character

Wait, that Mickey finisher was new, wasn’t it?

Okay but I still have no idea what Xemnas did to Luxord

Cards: *Appear*

Sora: PTSD from watching his friends get destroyed from the cards in the manga

Mickey: *is captured*

Sora: PTSD intensifies

I’m really happy that we get to replay all of the Organization battles, they’re so much fun!

I’m so soft for Replinami ;-;

He loves her so much, and all he wants is for her to be safe and happy ;-;

Ven: we aren’t the same. You’re Edgy. I’m Baby

Aqua when Sora appears: TWO Baby’s :0

“If I’m a traitor, then Kairi’s the trump card.” LEA DRINKS RESPECT KAIRI JUICE

Aww Kairi’s so confused. She doesn’t see how she could be a trump card ;-;

HE STRAIGHT UP FLEXED

AWW XION REMEMBERS

Ohhh Isa’s jealous.

YES THW CHAKRAMS

LETS GO

Jealousy mode has been activated in Isa

WHAT WAS THAT RUN

OH MY GOD THAT SCREAM

YES KAIRI GO

PROTEXT YOUR BRO

“Yup” Kairi really just wants this over with so she can go home 😂

The way Kairi’s face lights up at seeing Sora gives me life.

Wow Xemnas was really hurt by Axel’s betrayal. Frankly? I’m shocked.

XION’S HAND IS SMOKING

HER HAND IS BURNING BECAUSE SHES GRABBING THE BLADE

Xemnas does NOT drink Respect Xion juice

ROXAS KEPT XION’S MEMORIES SAFE INSIDE HIM

AND SHE HAS HER FACE BECAUSE HE GAVE THEM BACK TO HER

Lea cares about the small girls he adopted as his little sisters

AWW THE THREE OF THEIR HEARTS ARE CONNECTED

NO XION ISNT ON HIS HEART ANYMORE

YES KAIRI’S HERE TO KICK BUTT

Wow Nomura really got tired of people dissing Kairi so he amped her up with cool stuff

“Oh? Tired of Kairi not doing anything?” Heres her literally overpowering Xemnas and him having to restrain her with a stop spell and magic to stop her

KAIRI IS THE SCARLET WITCH AND XEMNAS IS THANOS

Oh and in case you think she’s weak? Here’s the same thing for Sora too.

God I love Nomura

Oh my god she’s in so much pain because of the darkness

OH MY GOD SHES IN SO MUCH PAIN BECAUSE OF THE DARKENSS

SORA LITERALLY FAINTED AFTER 2 SECONDS BUT KAIRI’S HOLDING ON OH MY GOD THE STRENGTH

OOOOOOOO ROXAS TIME

The MUSIC

THEIR ATTACK IS CALLED “THINKING OF YOU” BECAUSE THEY REMEMBERED XION I CANT

I can not believe i was forced to relive watching Kairi die

SHE WAS CRYSTALLIZED?? SHES NOT DEAD??

I love Donald and Goofy so much ;-;

They aren’t gonna leave their son alone

Also wow Xehanort was just staring there forever

I FORGOT WE GET TO EXPLORE SCALA :D

KAIRI?!?!

Getting KH1 vibes with this

“The heartless that is radiating light” how is that possible??

Okay but this is such a good parallel to the first game, with him saving Kairi ;-;

Except for the fact that HEARTLESS SORA DIDNT GET BEAT UP

Okay so her heart is a thassala shell. Will we have to collect the pieces to make her wayfinder?

Oh my god I see the thing at the top of the screen. We totally are making her wayfinder ;-;

THAT MEANS SHE LITERALLY GAVE HIM HER HEART SO HE COULS RETURN IT TO HER OH MY GOOOOD

Okay so I love the puzzles they have here

XEHANORT?!

I’m sorry you hid her heart? What are you, five?

What do you MEAN almost out of time?!

OH NO KINGDOM HEARTS

Oh no not these guys again

So many keyholes

IM SORRY IS THIS WIZARD OF OZ

Oh my god Lea is so overwhelmed lol

SGAKSSGE ROXAS CAUGHT XION

Okay so for the team ups, I love how all of them were mix and matched from the trio’s

I loved Terra and Riku, the Master and apprentice

I loved Ven, Roxas, and I can’t remember who else was in it. “Thanks Roxas.” “Youre welcome. You’re not too bad yourself.” THAT WAS ADORABLE

Xion, Aqua and Mickey being mages and protecting everyone

Aqua and Lea, him trying to talk and Aqua telling him to shut up and focus

MICKEY’S STRUGGLE TO SAVE HIS FRIENDS BROKE MY HEART

We now present: Kingdom Hearts 3: connect he dots

Connect. Connect the dots. Get it?

KAIRI’S HEART MADE A FLOWER

THE KH2 THING

“SORA :D”

THEIR HUG

HE JUST HOLDS HER CLOSE

TIME FOR PLAYABLE KAIRI BABBYYYYYYY

“I can do this.” YES YOU CAN

I’m sorry you think I want to play as Sora? After waiting my whole life to play Kairi? HA

KAIRI IS THE MOST POWERFUL

Seven wishes saved me in that fight

ONE HEART

THEY HAVE ANGEL WINGS

OKAY YALL HAD YOUR SORIKU ATTACK NOW WE GOT SOKAI :D

Now we just need Rikai and Sorikai and it’ll be complete ^^

AGSKSGSKDGSJS CHIRITHY

“I was trying to give you some privacy” awwww

CHIRITHY IS CRYING

THEYRE GOING ON DATES

Chirithy has my soul and I love it

Every scene with Chirithy adds 7 years to my life

Afsjsgsajg Sora DONT PUSH THE CAT

NAMINE

THEY WERE THERE TO FREE HER HEART

Aaand he’s gone and I’m crying again

LIMITCUT EPISODE TIME BABBYYYY

GAJSGSJDG RIKU AND TERRA ARE TOGETHER

Oh my god Riku and Terra being bro’s are my favorite thing

Wait what are they gonna do

ARE THEY SEALING THE WORLD

OH MY GOD THE ARMOR

HOW DARE THEY NOT SHOW US THE FRONT PARTS

OH they’re going to search for Sora!

IS RIKU IN CHARGE OF THE LAND OF DEPARTURE

ONE YEAR???

Agajsgsjdg MERLINS HOUSE

CLOUD

PRETTY BOY

YUFFFIIEEE

AERIITH

CID

OH MY GOD THE GANGS ALL TOGETHER

THEY WENT TO THE REALM OF DARKNESS WHAT

“The Twilight Town gang” ITS OFFICIAL

OH NO WHAT HAPPENED TO KAIRI

WHY DOES HE LOOK SAD

NO WHATS GOING ON WITH KAIRI

They’re searching her heart?

SHES BEEN ASLEEP FOR A YEAR?!

Riku’s been all ALONE

DATA SORA??

Battalion oh my god lol

I’m mad about Kairi being asleep for a year though

AGSJSGS WE GET TO EXPLORE

Wow. A video game inside of a video game

I spent the rest of the day failing the Data battles and making funny Data Greeting pictures. Hopefully I’ll be better st the battles tomorrow!

[txladyj-blog]

Chapter 13 - This Time Around

A Daryl Dixon x OFC collaboration written by @xmistressmistrustx​ by request of @txladyj-blog​

Rating: Explicit

Relationship: Daryl Dixon/Original Female Character

Tags: Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Awkwardness, Awkward Flirting, Awkward Crush, Fluff and Humor, Angst and Humor, Mild Smut, Strong Language, Eventual Sex, Eventual Romance, Slow Burn, Canon Divergence, Some Canon Scenes and Dialogue

Chapters 20/?

She could see the light of the moon reflected in his eyes as she stared at him on the porch of his house. It was the middle of the night and she should have been asleep in her fairground fortress but instead, she was standing before Daryl wishing the fury was not fixed on his face as stubbornly as it appeared. Her heart was hammering and her palms were clammy inside her gloves.

“What the hell did you just say?!” He demanded.

Her throat dried up and her words came out as a mere croak, she couldn’t speak properly, couldn’t think straight. He wasn’t asking her to repeat herself, he’d heard her perfectly well, his question was one of disbelief if anything else.

“It-it’s me…Jess.” She whispered. She slowly removed her hood and lowered her mask, finally revealing her face and stepping closer, further into the light from the living room window.

Daryl’s face only grew angrier and more twisted with hurt and betrayal and Jess felt as though her stomach were harboring bricks. She wanted to backtrack, to tell him that it was all some elaborate hoax but that would have made him equally as irate. He inched closer to her, squinting and letting his eyes drag down her body and back up to her nervous face. She swallowed hard.

“What the fuck?!” He spat “All this time…all this time?”

“Yes.” She uttered.

“How could you do this to me?” He asked quietly at first, but with every word, the volume of his voice increased as did Jess’s anxiety “Huh? You think you can just come clean n’ I’ll just forgive ya for bein’ a fuckin’ liar?! Just like that?!”

“I-”

“You bailed! You bailed on me, on all of us and now I find out you’ve been walkin’ ‘round here in this damn Halloween costume the whole time!”

Jess tried to speak, tried to reason with him and explain that she hadn’t planned any of it. She hadn’t planned to find him in the woods with follow him to Terminus, she hadn’t planned to arrange to bring them back here and she also hadn’t planned to be unable to stay away from him. She needed to keep one eye on him, because she still cared about him. So many things to say emerged at a small whimper as tears stung her eyes.

“We were ‘sposed to be friends, Jess.” He stated, now with a calmer rage than before. “But you ain’t no friend of mine. Not after ya left n’ then lied to me when we had a chance to go back to how we were.”

“You’re not innocent either.” She tried. “Please, just let me explain.” She begged.

“Ain’t nothin’ for ya to explain. When ya took me for a damn fool, ya only proved you’re more stupid than ya thought I was. Stay the hell away from me.”

With that, he flung the door open and Jess winced when it was slammed in her face, leaving her alone on the front porch. A loud sob wracked her body, her shoulders sagged and her knees gave way, her body thudding onto the wooden surface. Her hands covered her face, tears pooling around her fingers before racing down her hands, more and more of them pouring from her eyes while her mind flashed back to the Quarry. He threw her a pack of Pens from the RV. He taught her to kill a Walker. He implied her cared about her when she asked him why. With every memory came yet more salty tears and somehow, she wasn’t on the porch anymore. She was thrashing about in icy water, her arms flailing around her and trying to gain some traction to keep her head above the surface. On the shore she could see Daryl, still and watching her. Beside him were baskets of clothes for washing and beating against the rocks. There was a slope, an RV parked at the top. Her lungs filled with water when she began to tire, splutters and coughs did little to alleviate the pressure in her chest.

“D-Daryl” She gasped.

But she was sinking, the Quarry was gone and so was Daryl all that was left was the bottomless blackness and tremendous fear as the last breath of air left her lips.

* * * * * * 

Jess jolted up from her pillow, her hair stuck to her sweat covered face and her chest rising and falling rapidly. She scanned the room in a panic, her hands shooting out and grasping at the sheets either side of her legs. They were real, it was all real and she was alive. She’d been dreaming. Just a dream. Her skin was burning with the adrenaline that was charging through her veins but also from the heat of the room which was acting like an oven. She figured it was considerably later than she usually woke and the sun was much higher in the sky. She raked her fingers through her hair, removing the strands stuck to her face with perspiration.

“Oh, hot damn.” She panted “It’s hotter than a preacher’s knee in here.”

The Morning light slithered through the gaps in the boards on the windows. The sun was unforgiving from mid-morning until well into the afternoon and she preferred to have been out and well into hunting by now. If it hadn’t been for Rick’s group showing up and Daryl walking back into her life, Jess would have gone back to the boat to spend the summer there. A vacation she thought she deserved but would now not be able to take. She sat herself up in bed and picked up a knife from the wooden, vegetable crate nightstand and turned it over in her hands, admiring the glint of the metal when the sunlight hit it. The knife Daryl gave her at the quarry. The knife she used for her first Walker kill. It held so much sentiment, so many memories and with those, a sense of desperate despair for something she lost but never really had in the first place.

She hardly ever used the knife anymore. It lived in her utility belt but was rarely brought out into the light of day unless she had no other choice. She leaned across her bed, dropping it onto her pile of clothes. She would wear it that day, the same as every other. But this time it would feel like it was burning a hole in her belt. It could be the crux, the thing that could spur her on to tell Daryl the truth. Or so she hoped. But if she decided against it, she didn’t have to use it. Her dream had set her back and made her doubt her intentions. There was every possibility that Daryl would react in the worst possible way and a niggling voice at the back of her mind told her that she deserved no less, that it would be a disaster and she was better off sneaking off into the shadows and staying out of his way. In her subconscious, she clearly thought that his anger would be justified and she was on the path to losing him forever.

But the idea of telling him the truth wouldn’t leave her mind, even as she went about her morning, getting dressed and making black coffee. She needed more powdered milk. Maybe she would see Daryl if she went to the pantry, maybe she wouldn’t. Should she seek him out, or leave things to fate? Fate hadn’t always been kind to her but surely, she’d earned a break.

* * * * * 

As luck (or fate) would have it, Jess came across Daryl on her morning hunt. She caught sight of one, toned, bare arm through the trees and crept forwards until she could see him sitting on the floor with his back against a fallen trunk, a cigarette resting between his lips while his hands checked over his crossbow. It was starkly obvious he felt more comfortable outside the walls and he appeared pensive, deep in thought, maybe even sorrowful. She stepped out of her hiding place and he quickly raised his crossbow, the mechanism inside clicking with the movement. Jess held up her empty hands in surrender.

No one spoke as she stood over him but eyes were connected and she liked that he no longer become as hostile towards her, despite her sometimes standoffish attitude. She hadn’t had a weapon pointed in her direction by him for some time and concluded that was a triumph in itself. He got up and dusted his jeans down before collecting his crossbow.

“Mornin’.” he grumbled.

He shot her an uneasy look, as if he didn’t know what to say, his greeting rendered a lie by the tone of his voice. While he wasn’t hostile as such, she could tell that he was put out by her mere presence and that she still annoyed him. She gathered she’d intruded into what was his thinking time. He turned his back, dirty angel wings ready to vanish into the trees.

“Morning. How’s the hunt?” She asked.

“How’s it look to you, Robin Hood?” He snapped, stopping and standing sideways. “Every time I turn around, ya there. Can’t even think without you showin’ up. You keep to the left side; I’ll keep to the right.” He finished his cigarette and flicked it into the undergrowth.

Jess flapped her arms by her sides. It seemed on that particular morning he was still hostile and it was apparent that she could never actually be sure which Daryl she would get on any given day.

“You and Merle are two peas in a pod” She sighed under her breath as she whirled around and made tracks to the ‘left side’ of Alexandria, her ‘side’ that meant he wouldn’t have to see or speak to her while they hunted. At least she would be able to keep an eye out for Enid and maybe even Carl if he was still chasing girls through the woods. It looked as though her knife would stay in its sheath for another day, Daryl’s mood was not one she wanted to worsen and she was more than aware that her revelation might do just that.

“The hell did you just say?”

His voice shot through her head like a bullet and after an initial split second of wondering what he was referring to, her legs suddenly felt like jelly and her stomach filled with bile. It was the same question from her dream…and she had just mentioned his brother’s name. Something she never would have known if she really was a stranger to him.

SHIT.

Her eyes focused on the muddy ground before her, the faded footprints from Daryl’s boots where he’d trudged through earlier than she’d arrived. Her vision lifted to the dense trees ahead and her eyelids slowly closed. She tried to take a breath but her entire chest began to shake, the simple act of an inhalation was now ten times more difficult than usual. She was drowning, just like in her dream.

“Hey!” he shouted. “I’m talkin’ to you! How d'ya know my brother's name?!”

It wasn’t a dream. It was a premonition.

Inch by inch, her body rotated and she found herself faced with a furious and baffled expression that made her panic. He’d closed some of the distance between them, now nearer to her than she’d expected. She searched the corners of her mind to try and come up with a way to deal with the situation in the calm and collection manner she’d become accustomed to. Time passed, she didn’t know how much but Daryl was appearing increasingly annoyed at her lack of response and she concluded that ultimately, the only way out of this was to come clean and to do it with some semblance of confidence. She gradually swept her long coat to one side, revealing her knife holster on her belt. Her fingers plucked the fastening open and she took hold of the blade, flinching when Daryl’s crossbow swept up and he aimed at her head. Jess’s brain went into overdrive.

Say you just knew his brother from somewhere. No, that won’t work. He will want to know how you know it’s Merle. You can’t tell more lies. More lies mean falling deeper and deeper into this deception and it will only get worse. But he’s going to hate you. Not that he cares about you anyway. Or, does he? Do you care about him? Of course, you do, or you’d be at the boat right now. You have no choice. You’re backed into a corner. Do it. Tell him.

She held up her free hand, signaling that she meant no harm and that he should let her continue. Evidently, there was still little trust between them because Daryl lowered the weapon but didn’t disarm himself completely. His finger was still planted firmly on the trigger as he held the bow at his side.

She slid the blade from the leather and her fingers clasped the cool metal of the sharp edge. Holding it aloft, she felt her eyes begin to sting.

“Do- do you remember this?” She asked with a croak. Any attempt to appear composed and confident was fading and fast. What she felt inside was a world away from the boldness with which she wanted to present herself. Below the surface, she was a scared little girl about to confess to the biggest lie she’d ever told to a person that had become important to her regardless of him treating her heart as though it was as empty and worthless as yesterdays can of beans. Whatever her reasons for such a deception, her dream had been a warning of the chance that Daryl would never forgive her.

His brow furrowed as his eyes zoned in on the knife’s handle. He instantly recognized it. Jess could tell, it was written all over his face when it crumpled and he blinked a few times like the sight would morph and change and it’d all be a big mistake.

“I told you an old friend taught me how to fight. He meant a lot to me.” She confessed.

She reached up and pulled her mask away before pushing her hood down. The sunlight hit her hair like a heater, the rays gracing her face and lighting up her skin. It was the first time she’d revealed her true self to anyone since she’d arrived, aside from when Carl had guessed and even then, she kept her disguise in place. It had to be Daryl. He had to be the first to see the face behind the mask because she wanted him to.

She could see the penny drop as he recognized her, his body recoiling in defense and his mouth dropping open.

“Hi” She uttered. “Stinky.”

Her voice was carried on the breeze and now he could hear her as clear as the day. It was Jess’s voice. The woman stood before him wearing elaborate, modified and impressive body armor, the woman who was abrupt, harsh and unapproachable, the mystery woman that he couldn’t get out of his head… was Jess, all along. He’d thought about her every day since she left. Even all those months later she still occupied his musings and he had no idea that she was right in front of him since he left Terminus.

“J-Jess?” He croaked

“Yeah, it’s me.”

“Fuck.” He spat upon the exhalation of a breath of disbelief “Fuck.”

Jess swallowed hard when it occurred to her that his reaction was the one that she’d expected the least. She re-holstered the knife that had started it all. The first weapon she’d acquired in the apocalypse and the one that got her through the woods and on her way to her city apartment. The knife he’d given her and made her keep. He blinked rapidly through bloodshot eyes and began to scan the ground, stepping one way, then the other before stopping altogether. Jess held her breath.

Oh, lord.

He ran at her, crashing into her body and forcing her to take a stabilizing step back. A cloud of dust kicked up from the ground where his boots had skidded along the dirt. She thought she felt the exact moment when her heart snapped into two, useless pieces; it was when he whimpered against her shoulder and held onto her so tightly it was as if he was convinced that she would dissipate into nothing in his arms. Initially, she froze and her whole body turned to stone. But the more he clung to her the more her arms lifted slowly and she wrapped her fingers around his shoulder and bicep. Touching him for the first time.

“I thought…” she heard him breathe jaggedly “… thought you were dead”

Unable to speak, she said nothing but felt everything so vividly, the guilt was choking her. She closed her eyes, pushing tears from under the lids. They streamed down her face. She kept telling herself that he led her on and hurt her and that he was lying to her the whole time at the quarry, but it did nothing to quell the biting regret she endured for leaving it this long to reveal who she was.

“Ohmygod” he rasped into the shoulder of her coat. His grip on her was so tight she could feel the desperation seeping from his body into hers.

His fingers were holding her hair in a fist where it pooled in her hood and he was doing the same with a handful of fabric from the back of her coat with his other hand. He had her in a vice like, white knuckle grasp and in that moment, she didn’t want to be anywhere else.

He dropped his arms, lifting his head and looked right at her, tears staining his own cheeks as he furiously bit down on his lower lip. She heard his breath catch in his throat and he stepped back, then forward again and rested his head on her shoulder. She reached up, threading her hands into his hair on either side of his head as she watched his body convulse with each breath. She had never touched him this much before, never felt his arms around her and never been able to get so close. It didn’t feel alien, like it was an out of place or new experience. It felt right. As if it was the right thing to do.

Suddenly he tore away from her, wiping at his eyes with the backs of his hands. Seeing him cry was like taking a razor to her own throat, unbearable guilt and pain raged in her chest.

Stop crying. Please. I wasn’t expecting this. I can’t take it.

His back was facing her and she quickly rid her face of her own tears with the back of her glove. She waited without a word for him to pull himself together, because as something clicked in her head, she realized she knew exactly what he was doing. She prepared herself for the point where relief turned to rage.

“You been lyin’ to me all this time” she heard him mumble before he tilted his head to the sun, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “So, you just bail with no goodbye, then show up over a year later with this cloak n’ dagger shit n’ ya don’t think that maybe I’d wanna know it was you?!”

“I’m telling you now.” She uttered.

“I been here for six fuckin’ weeks, Jess!” He shouted, whirling around and glaring at her with a fury she had anticipated with dread. Jess wasn’t even worried about the potential danger from nearby Walkers attracted to the noise, figuring that Daryl would probably welcome it as a way of venting some of his frustration. She could also use an outlet of some kind. “You been talkin’ to me as if ya don’t even know me! You think I’m some kinda fuckin’ idiot?! Huh?!” He yelled.

“No” she shook her head. “That’s not what-”

“-Ya owe me an explanation here, this is fucked, Jess. It’s fucked!”

“I don’t owe you shit” she hissed out of nowhere. Her own anger was now presenting itself and her defenses were well and truly up. In her dream, she’d done nothing but let him vent in front of her as the Quarry camp Jess would have done. But she’d changed, evolved and built herself up along with constructing her own kingdom and methods of surviving.  

Daryl scoffed and shook his head at her, unable to believe what he was seeing and hearing. The sweet girl from the quarry camp was right there in front of him. The girl he’d thought about every day since she left. The girl he tried to find on two occasions. She was there, only she wasn’t. Not really.

“Who the hell are you? You ain’t the Jess I used to know” he spat.

“I guess all the bullshit just made me stronger.” She mumbled, the confidence she’d tried to display at the start now creeping back. “I didn’t mean to deceive you like I did.” She began to move off, away from him, mapping her escape. “I’d appreciate it if you let me tell the others, in my own time”  

“Fine. I’ll keep your secret. But I deserve to know what the hell happened with us n’ why ya just left me” He demanded.

Jess raised both eyebrows and blinked slowly at the prospect of explaining everything to him. Figuring that if he didn’t already know what he’d done, she wasn’t about to spell it out to him.

“There was no ‘us’ and I didn’t leave you, there was nothing for me to leave.” She reminded him.

“We were ‘sposed to be friends.” He pointed out

“No, we weren’t.” came her stern correction.

She swiped at another stray tear, lifted her hood and mask and removed herself from the situation, leaving Daryl with his rage in the woods.

He didn’t return to Alexandria until dusk that day, staying out in the wilderness to gather his thoughts which were marred with questions and confusion. He couldn’t make sense of any of it. She was the only person that he ever felt a connection to, he still didn’t know the reason why but the fact that she’d been running through his mind for so long, even during her absence proved that she meant something to him. Now, she was different. Her eyes were the same and so was her voice but her body had changed, she was stronger, leaner, more agile. He wondered when her soul had changed, why he was no longer important to her. If he even mattered to her in the first place.

* * * * * 

When the sun was going down, a single flare floated up into the sky, leaving a thin trail of red smoke behind it. Jess heard the crack from inside her diner abode where she had spent the day raging at herself for being unable to stop crying and thinking of nothing but Daryl. How she’d hurt him. How he’d hurt her. She supposed they were even, if it worked that way. She didn’t want to think about how stoic she’d have to seem when she next saw him, especially if it involved other people.

The noise startled her. Loud, almost like a gunshot but right above the building. She checked through the gap between the board and window frame, nothing. A regular, early evening rustling of the trees and a darkening of the woods beyond the fairground. She padded across the room, her bare feet sinking into the thick rug and unlatched the many locks on the door. She ducked her head out of the doorway, squinting up at the sky.

What the hell is…?

Her shoulders tensed and she breathed a deep breath. Alexandria was in trouble.

It wasn’t until the carnage was over that Jess found out what happened behind the walls. Someone had died in their home, turned and managed to break free, infecting everyone they came across and spreading death faster than anyone could have predicted.

Barreling through the gates, she took in the scene before her. To her left, Deanna and some of Rick’s group were ushering the townsfolk into the church to keep them together and safe. People were screaming and crying, holding onto their families tightly and shielding their eyes from the dead people wandering the street. To her right, Abraham was slashing his way through three Walkers with nothing but a metal pipe and a cigar clenched between his teeth. Ahead of her, Rick and Michonne were working together to kill everything dead that emerged from between the houses. Glenn was behind them, tackling his own assailant. At the opposite end of the street, Jess could see Carol, checking the houses for anyone hiding and shining a flashlight through windows. She sprinted ahead, passing Rick and giving him a quick nod with her bow aimed and ready in her hands. She slowed and took heed of the numbers around her. Three with Abraham, three emerging from each side with Michonne and Rick, one with Glenn, none with Carol. Deciding to sweep the perimeter, she ducked down a walkway at the side of Ricks home. Wishing the light was better, she crept along in pursuit of a snarling noise and when the smell hit her, her throat tensed. It was close. She backed against the house, edging closer to the corner where the Walker was dwelling. As she flung herself around the corner and went to release her arrow, she was beaten to it by a bolt flying in her direction. It hit the dead female with a splat and floored her instantly.

Daryl was striding at her, grabbing her arm and bundling her back around the corner. His fingers dug into her arm which would have caused a certain amount of pain had she not been clad in Kevlar.

“You OK?” He asked.

“I’m fine. I just got here. How many more are there?” She said, peering up at him in the shadows over her mask.

“You shouldn’t be here. Go stay with the others in the church.” He ordered, quickly craning his neck around the corner of the building and checking the coast was clear.

“Oh. I see. Now you know who I am, I must need saving. Just like before.” She remarked.

“What? No. It’s just…we got this. You don’t need to be here.” He reasoned.

Jess stared at him, unable to fathom how she automatically had to be vulnerable and in peril because she was the fat nerd from the quarry camp. He’d seen her fight, he’d seen the change in her, yet he had dropped into protective mode nevertheless.

“How noble of you. Protecting the poor, incapable nerd.” She spat.

“What?” He asked. Not only because he didn’t hear her, but also because his attention wasn’t on her, it was on Carol, Rick and Michonne in the street, putting down the last of the Walkers.

“You didn’t hear me? I said fuck you.” Jess proclaimed. She ripped her arm from his grip before charging off and following the dark path around the wall.

Having to stop and calm herself after her confrontation with Daryl, she sank against the side of Deanna’s house and tilted her head up to the sky, closing her eyes and attempting to regain some control over her breathing. She knew she’d overreacted as soon as her heart rate began to settle and her body loosened up. But she still couldn’t believe how he’d jumped straight into protective mode when he’d seen, first hand how she could handle herself. It was like he still saw her as the old Jess. The ‘Little, fat chick’ as Merle had named her.

She was shoved off balance, saved only by her leg stomping on the grass and preventing her from plummeting to the floor. Hands grappled with her body, clawing feverishly with bloodied teeth gnashing at her throat. Her hands quickly raised, grabbing the dead man’s throat and pushing him back with all her might but the warmth in his skin told her he was recently deceased and therefore, stronger than some of the other Walkers. She recognized the crazed face and the cloudy eyes that gawped at her with such hunger. It was the man that lived next door to Aaron and Eric. He had two teenage sons. Having to think quickly, she heaved at his throat with all her might, letting out a loud grunt. He stumbled back long enough for her to snatch the knife Daryl gave her from her belt and slam it into his temple. The noise was sickening, an almighty crack that echoed from the towns walls and the side of the house. The man slumped forwards, pinning her to the wooden slats of the wall and dribbling blood down her clothes. But Jess didn’t care, she tugged the knife out and stayed there with the Walker laying on her, her knife at her side, pooling blood on the floor while her chest rose and fell and her forehead glistened with sweat.

When Alexandria finally became quiet again and Rick was sure there were no stragglers, he re-grouped everyone outside his house. Daryl stood beside Carol and flickered his eyes up to where Jess stood, thinking she wouldn’t notice his subtle observations. But she felt every glimpse like it was a sledgehammer. She knew he’d picked up on the blood on her clothes and hands due to a lack of gloves. Jess remained indifferent and on the sidelines, she was neither a part of Rick’s group or Alexandria’s. She marched to her own band now but decided to stick around and see if she could be of any more help.

Surprising everyone by not being present in the church with everyone else, Carl ran up to his father from inside the house and flung his arms around him. Jess wondered how Rick kept his temper with such a spirited and adventurous son to keep safe as well as a baby.

First I find him outside the walls and now he’s not even in the church. Like hollerin' down a well telling this kid what to do. Jess thought.

“I’ve asked Deanna to keep everyone on lockdown until we can move some of the bodies.” Rick announced after briefly scolding his son for disobeying him.

Carl caught Jess’s eye and mouthed something to her. She knew what it was, there was no mistaking it. 

‘Tell them. Please.’

Keeping up an act was already becoming exhausting and emotionally taxing and that was without Carl’s stubborn streak. Daryl also knew now and that meant her anonymous days were numbered. She hated the thought of no longer being a silhouette without an identity, it was what had kept her alive for so long and allowed her to throw away her old misgivings and fears and become a survivor. She could stitch her own wounds and alone, by herself and in the kingdom she created for herself.

The universe had a funny way of putting things in her path. First, it was dead people that got back up again. Then, it was Daryl. After that, it was the desire and drive to be alone and work hard to better herself. Alexandria was next and it paved the way to her letting a select few people back into her cold and lonely life. Daryl appeared again after that and it just had to mean something. But he’d not shown up alone. The group of people around her turned up again too. Some of them were gone, replaced by new people but every one of them was undoubtedly loyal to the core.

Daryl agreed to keep her secret, to let her carry on living as she was. But he was right, she’d lied to him and after over a year of being alone, she knew she was no longer going to be able to deliver the apology he deserved. Instead, she would cease trying to say the words and use her actions to free him from the constraints of secrets and lies.

Her gaze lingered on Carl’s pleading face and try as she might, she could not ignore him.

She said nothing as she pulled her mask from her face and pushed her hood back.

Daryl was the first to notice her during one of his secret glances. He did a double take and realized that she wasn’t going to make him bear the burden of keeping such a huge secret from the people he cared about. Everyone was about to find out the truth and she felt her stomach grow heavy when he shoots her the most heartbreaking, confused and relieved look. She didn’t know if she could take seeing him cry again and so, hoped with everything she had that he would not do so in front of everyone else.

I wish you never left.

Carol’s eyes swept around the group, eventually landing on Jess. For a moment, she blinked and leaned to the side for a better view before her eyes grew wide and her hands flew up to her face.

“No…it can’t be.” She gasped

Faces turned to her, all of them, all at once. She felt like she was on a stage under spotlights, totally naked and being made to sing the national anthem. Not a shadow any longer, her name was being muttered between everyone.

“Jess?! Is that you?” Carol asked.

“Hi Carol.” Jess whispered.

“Oh my god!” She cried, slapping Daryl’s arm. “Daryl, It’s Jess!”

Daryl’s head was low, his eyes moving from the floor to her face intermittently. His expression was downcast but she could see a glimmer of gratitude when he looked at her.

“I know” He mumbled.

“Wait, you know?” Carol questioned.

“Found out this mornin’.” He told her.

Carol set off, weaving around Michonne and Rick, gently placing her hands on either side of Jess’s face. Her skin burned from the touch as if she was a demon being held by a priest. Physical contact was not something she was used to and she was still reeling from Daryl’s desperate and intense hug in the woods from hours before.

“Oh, Jess.” Carol says “look at you, you’re so different. So…so different.”

Jess didn’t speak, offering only a small smile before she shied away and stepped out of Carol’s embrace. Rick slowly walked around them, rubbing his chin and staring at her in disbelief.

“Hi, Sheriff.” She smiled at him.

“It was you, you helped us get out of Terminus. Helped with the dogs on the road. Got Aaron to bring us here?” He asked.

Jess nodded still feeling like a performing monkey and wanting to shrink away into the darkness and run back to her solitary home at the fairground. But she couldn’t get away, especially when Rick wrapped her in his arms, kissed the top of her head and held her there. She wanted to scream at the contact but appreciated his reason for doing so.

“Thank you. Thank you so much.” He uttered before releasing her. “My son, my daughter, all of us. We’re safer because of you.” She could feel her cheeks still burning and wondered if she was blushing or just extremely uncomfortable.

“I couldn’t just leave y’all out there.” She mumbled quietly.

The others presented their own greetings but kept their distance, having never met her officially before and Jess was grateful that she didn’t have to hug anyone else. Everyone swapped glances and Carol took a quick look over her shoulder at Daryl, who was looking at Jess with glassy eyes. He swiped at his nose with the back of his hand and turned on his heels, crashing into the house behind them and slamming the door in a mirror image of his exit in her dream.

“Where have you been?” Glenn wanted to know.

“Around.” She replied, her eyes briefly registering Carl, who was beaming at her from the steps of the front porch. Rick followed her gaze, noting the unsaid message that had passed between them.

Are you satisfied now, kid?!

“Did you know about this?” Rick asked Carl.

Carl shrugged “maybe.”

“Um…” Jess began after clearing her throat. “It wasn’t my intention to deceive anyone. I just want to be left alone. Regardless of how we know each other, the same rule applies. No one is to go near my property without my permission.” She said to Rick, who by now was hanging on every word and was totally shocked at the change in her. “If there’s any more trouble, you can signal me with a flare, just like tonight. They’re kept in the armory. Aside from that, I’d appreciate it if you all just… kept your distance and refrained from discussing my true identity with anyone else. The people here don’t know my name, where I’m from or anything about me. I’d like to keep it that way.”

“Of course.” Rick agreed. “Thank you for your help tonight.”

“No problem. I’ll come back in the morning and help get rid of the bodies. Looks like hell with everyone out to lunch in here” She said, motioning to two lifeless Walkers at the side of the road. Then, she calmly walked away, raising her hood again and positioning her mask over her mouth.

* * * * * 

Inside the house, Carol found Daryl in the kitchen, braced against the kitchen counter at the sink with his head low and his hair obscuring his face. She sighed at the sight. Daryl rarely opened up to anyone and when he did, it was always her, the two of them having shared similar backgrounds and understanding what it was like to fight, even before the world went away. Carol understood his inner conflict like no one else and as a result, knew how to handle him when he was showing signs of lashing out or distancing himself from everyone.

His hasty and dramatic departure had been witnessed by the rest of the group and they all knew without having to be told that Carol would be the one to deal with the simmering archer. She moved further into the room, taking a glass from the cupboard and approaching him, reaching around him to access the tap. He moved off like an angry animal that was being disturbed in its lair. Carol filled the glass and brought it to her lips, grateful for the luxury of having running water after such a chaotic evening.  She could see he was reeling despite already having found out about Jess that morning. She observed him wander the length of the kitchen island before he stopped and met her eye. She offered him a sympathetic look.

“Quite the bombshell.” She pointed out.

“Yep.” He grunted, crossing his big arms over his chest.

“Especially for you. Are you alright? She wanted to know.

He didn’t know the answer to her question. He wasn’t sure if he was ‘alright’ or not. His head was still spinning and his chest was still tight, the confusion was still present and only worsened by her decision to tell the others the truth. He expected to have to carry the burden of such a huge secret for much longer and on the one hand he was grateful to her for him not having to endure it. But, on the other, he was furious at being lied to.

“I dunno.” He admitted honestly.

Carol took another sip from her glass and climbed up onto a stool at the island. She delicately placed the glass on the surface and kept her fingertips poised around it.

“Talk to me. Tell me how you feel.” She urged with the knowledge that unless she asked him directly, he was unlikely to disclose much at all. Since the beginning, there was no doubt that he was more forthcoming with his feelings, but he was still very much a closed book and unless he was encouraged in the right way, he would only retreat into himself until he boiled over at someone unsuspecting and undeserving.

“I’m pissed. I’m real fuckin’ pissed.” He confessed.

To her surprise, he also settled on a stool opposite her and leaned his elbows on the marble countertop with his hands clasped together. It was almost like he was telling her that he didn’t want to discuss it, but he needed to.

“Understandable.” She replied.

“But I’m happy she’s alive.” He continued “Seein’ her again…the way she is. It’s weird. She ain’t the same.”

Carol half smiled at his obvious observation of Jess’s evolution and his complete ignorance of his own. He had matured, developed a better handle on his temper, used his logic and intuition to help Rick make some tough decisions and earned the respect and trust of everyone in the group. She was proud of his journey and wished he could see it as she did.

“Neither are you. Neither are any of us.” She reminded him.

“You saw her.” He argued with the flick of one hand “She’s got Jess’s face but that’s it.”

“You don’t know that, Daryl. She’s protecting herself. She’s been doing that for a long time without us now. She might come around if you talk to her.” She suggested with a strong desire to see him try and build a bridge between them. It was no secret that he was devastated when Jess left the Quarry, his pain and determination to find her was plain for all to see and if there was even just a small chance that they could mend their tattered friendships, then she thought it was well worth it.

“Doubt it. She fuckin’ hates me” He scoffed.

“What? I’m sure that’s not true.” She expressed

“She lied to me for weeks, Carol. Weeks. She could have told me who she was. Instead, she acted like I was some stranger.”

His behavior was now considerably more subdued and his aggression was now translating to a sadness that Carol couldn’t stand to see. During a long pause in conversation which was more a chance for the both of them to collect their thoughts than anything else, Carol remembered the incident in the woods when Jess found herself at the end of a gun held by Daryl.

“No wonder she was so calm when you pointed that gun at her.” She mentioned.

“What d’ya mean?”

“She knows you. She knew you wouldn’t just shoot her like that. Not without a reason.” She concluded.

Daryl reached into his jeans pocket and retrieved his lighter. It clicked and clinked as he turned it over between his fingers, lighting it over and over as he attempted to clear his head. Carol watched on, growing slightly concerned when he began to run his fingers through the flames and letting them linger there a little too long.

“Daryl” She scolded lightly. His eyes shot up to hers and he flicked the lighter closed, enclosing it in his fist.

“Wish she never left” He muttered.

Carol proceeded with caution, now he was really talking and such an event couldn’t be forced or it would never present itself again. The conversation would be over and any chance she had at getting him to expel his real feelings would be long gone.

“Daryl, you know better than most that in his world, we adapt or we die. You and I adapted. Jess adapted, very well by what I can see. Give it time. Be patient. What is it that you want to say to her? What do you want her to know?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugged.

“I do.” She smiled bravely, all the while hoping deep down that he would trust her enough to answer her. He peered at her through his hair, his eyes questioning exactly what she thought she knew, but she kept quiet and patiently sipped her drink.

“I dunno if I did somethin’…or didn't do somethin’ when I was ‘sposed to” He said, his voice barely a whisper. When she looked back at him, his eyes were cast down at the countertop between his forearms. “Liked havin’ her around, y’know? She just…made stuff easier. I aint no idiot, I know I was a shitty friend. But I thought about her every day since she bailed.”

There it was, what Carol had been waiting for. It wasn’t the precise words she knew he really meant, but it was as close as he was going to get and she had enough to work with.

“That girl meant something to you. We all saw how badly you took it when she left. You could have died looking for her. I might even be as bold as to suggest that you had feelings for her. Feelings that went beyond friendship and you just didn’t know it at the time. I think…” She trailed off, gauging his reaction which so far, was still collected and subdued. “…I think you should tell her that you missed her.”

“That ain’t gonna happen.” He quickly dismissed. A feat too tall for his withdrawn and quiet personality.

“It will. Like I said, give it time.” She remarked with a knowing smile. As he observed her confidence in her beliefs, the corner of his mouth quirked up at the thought of her always being right and how she reveled in it.

“Whatever.”

* * * * * 

Jess made herself scarce from Alexandria for the next two days after offering to fetch some supplies from the nearest town which boasted a large gardening store. She borrowed a truck and found that once she’d filled it with everything on Deanna's list, she had little desire to return anytime soon. She settled down on a luxurious, swinging chair with deep padding and enough room for her to stretch her legs and gently swayed from side to side, watching the high, industrial ceiling swing from left to right. Aside from two Walkers outside in the lot, the entire store was empty and the silence was only broken by the subtle squeak of the chair’s hinges.

The group knowing who she was did nothing to calm the rampant inferno of confusion that seemed to grow with each though of Daryl that passed through her mind and she was still conflicted, torn between hearing his side and ignoring him altogether. The look in his eyes, his intense embrace and the soul shattering whimper against her shoulder was urging her to try talking to him, but she didn’t know if there was a point or if she would ever be able to forgive him for proving her insecurities to be correct. She wasn’t anything to anyone, she was just a girl.

It was dark when she woke, her bones weary with the heaviness of sleeping during the day. She groaned and rubbed her eyes as she sat up. Her backpack contained items she wouldn’t be without no matter what the circumstances, one of those items was a flashlight. She quickly found it in the pitch-black bag and clicked it on, shining it around her, over the shelves and into the gaps between aisles. Luckily, she still appeared to be alone.

She got to her feet, flung her bag over her shoulder and headed for the smashed bottom pane in the main door. Ducking outside into the lot, she noticed the numbers of walkers had increased to around a dozen. She stilled before any of them saw her and slowly crept towards the waiting truck which was around 500 yards to her left.

Walkers acted like dominoes, when one noticed movement the rest tended to follow with a knock-on effect that could be catastrophic. The nearest walker to Jess, only a few feet away reached out and took hold of her backpack, slinging her backwards and colliding her with the asphalt. Her flashlight skittered over the ground and adrenaline shot through her. She quickly grabbed her knife from her belt as the Walker loomed over her, blobs of sticky, lumpy blood precariously hanging from its festering mouth like fruit from a tree. One of which dropped with a splat onto her forehead. She jabbed the blade at the Walkers head only to find that it appeared to dodge out of the way. It’s growls and bubbling throat and chest made her stomach flip and she rolled over, breaking free of its bony fingers on her shoulder and managing to scurry up onto one knee. It surged at her, snapping its jaws and dislodging a front tooth which rolled out and tinkled on the ground beside Jess’s knee.

“Ew” she breathed as she readied her knife again. With all her might she plunged the blade into its skull, surprised at how spongy it was. This one had to have been dead for a while, the longer they wandered around as corpses, the softer their bones became until eventually their limbs gave out and they had no choice but to crawl. The Walker dropped to reveal five more that were closing in on her. She scrambled backwards, the heels of her boots propelling her across two spaces of the lot.

Shit. Ohshitohshitohshit.

She leapt up and scooped up her flashlight just in time to avoid the grasp of more undead fingers while she dashed to the truck, throwing open the door and climbing inside, finally able to put a barrier between her and the Dead ones.

Jess could handle herself but being in such close proximity to walking mounds of rotten flesh still gave her chills. Especially when she considered that they used to be just like her. With working lungs and hearts and brains. With families and friends and lovers. Ok, maybe not exactly like her but five out of six wasn’t bad. It was sad, but it also made her nauseous and she was certain that if she was ever cursed with the trauma of being bitten, she would sooner shoot herself in the head than become one of them.

She started the truck to the sound of the Walkers hammering on the glass and groaning at her. She put the vehicle in gear, flipped them the bird and raced off into the night.

* * * * * 

Not a lot of things were convenient in the apocalypse. Food was scarce, as were weapons, ammo and medicine. The seasons were harsh and Walkers roamed all of the potentially fruitful spots for supplies. Humans were becoming more depraved and even more dangerous than the dead and those that failed to evolve with the harsh changes of the world, perished. No, nothing was convenient, except Daryl being on gate duty just as Jess rolled through in her truck filled with gardening supplies.

Two days had passed and he’d not seen a hint of her since she’d revealed her identity to the group. Carol’s words stayed with him, her suggestion that he should try and talk to her, give it time and she might come around. He was mad at her, there was no question about that. But, more than anything, he just wanted some answers.

He closed the gate behind her as she climbed from the truck, her mask and hood were up but he could make out blood smeared on her face and his chest swelled with concern. Now he knew who she was, he couldn’t help but care no matter how much he didn’t want to.

“Hey.” He called out as he approached her. She leaned against the closed door of the truck and fiddled with her gloves, tugging them off and stuffing them in her pocket. He noticed in the light of the solar bulbs that lined the street that the knife he’d given her was also coated in dark blood and had stained her tight, faded, black jeans. She looked up at him over her hood, her blue eyes meeting his. “Y’alright?” He asked as he motioned to the smeared blood on her forehead.

“Yeah. Just Walkers.” She dismissed casually.

He nodded, temporarily glancing at the ground while he thought out how out of the blue his questions might sound. But she was there, in front of him in the middle of the night with no one else around. If he was going to ask, now was as good a time as any.

“Where ya been, Jess?”

“At the Garden store a few miles west.” She mumbled back. He didn’t notice until he raised his vision but she was checking over a list in her hand.

“I mean before. When ya bailed.” He corrected.

Jess’s eyes lifted and she side glanced at him, looking him up and down and wondering why he’d decided to ask her such questions there and then.

“Around” she replied, the same, standard answer she’d offered the others. She pushed herself from the trucks door and wandered around the side, rummaging through the full flatbed and checking things against the list.

“Why won’t ya talk to me? Ain’t seen ya in, what…over a year?” He asked sadly. His voice sent guilt through her heart like a spear and she fought not to cry again.

“Eighteen months” she corrected. “And I don’t know what you want me to say.” She turned to head back to the truck cab but he stepped in, blocking her path. She huffed in irritation and stared at the toes of her boots.

“Get out of my way.” She uttered.

“Take the mask off.” He requested. “Please.”

“No.” She refused.

“Ain’t nobody here. Just you n’ me. Take the mask off. Just for a minute.”

He needed to see her, needed to be able to see that it really was Jess he was talking to because everything about her screamed that she’d discarded her old life and personality entirely. Little did he know that she was still there, deep down, terrified of exposure and rejection. She agreed that he deserved an explanation, she just wasn’t sure if she was up to offering one at that point. She needed space and time to think things over and decide what she wanted. Being forced to communicate was only making her more anxious. But what she could do, was afford him this one small request. She moved her mask down to her neck and peered up at him. His face seemed to soften at the sight of her own and she saw his shoulders drop.

“Why’d you go?” He croaked.

It was akin to the moment he’d whimpered against her shoulder. Emotional, sincere and hurt. She wasn’t expecting it and it hit her like a train. She needed to leave before she broke down and she resented him for it. For a year and a half she’d learned to stop crying, that crying got a person nowhere when she had no choice but to suck it up and carry on and in the last week all she’d done was cry. That was Daryl’s fault.

“I can’t talk about this right now.” She whispered.

“But you will, right?” He asked

“I don’t know.” She pulled her mask back up. “Please, step aside.”

“Jess-“

“-Get out of my fucking way.” She spat, her eyes filling with anger.

Shocked and frustrated, he simply moved to one side and let her storm past him and get back into the truck where she held back tears until she was far enough along the road and around a corner to let them escape.

* * * * * 

When morning came around once more, Jess walked through the gate carrying a plethora of small animals and the key for the truck she’d borrowed the day before. After dropping the animals off at the pantry, she made tracks to Deanna's front steps where, to her surprise she found Carol sitting at the porch table with a plate of cookies on the surface in front of her. Jess paused when she noticed her, mid way up the steps and awkwardly positioned before she carried on and slowed when she reached the door. Carol’s face was displaying a bright smile as she slid the plate from the table and held it out.

“Cookie?”

Jess hadn’t seen a decent looking cookie in a very long time and her stomach, although reasonably full from breakfast, vibrated slightly at the thought. She almost accepted before she remembered that enjoying that simple pleasure would mean removal of her mask and the potential for passers by to see her.

Clever. She thought. But not clever enough.

“No, thank you.” She politely declined. “What are you doing here?”

“Just got out of a very nice meeting with Deanna. She told me to come and go as I please, so I’m doing just that. Care to join me?” She said breezily.

Her manner was a little too happy for Jess’s liking and she immediately became suspicious of some kind of trap.

“I can’t. I have shit to-“

“Oh, just sit down, Jessica.” Carol scolded through her teeth.

Feeling like a child that had thrown a tantrum and been told off using her full first name, Jess sheepishly sank down into a chair. Even though curiosity had killed the cat, it had got the better of her this time. Across the street, Daryl approached Rick who was busy hauling fertilizer around the vegetable patch. Jess looked up and clocked his presence, quickly diverting her eyes and licking her lips at the plate of cookies instead. They appeared tinted red and purple and she wondered what could possibly be in them to turn them that color. Berries of some kind?

Cherry, maybe? Mmm, Cherries.

“He said you won’t talk to him.” Carol blurted out but with a quiet confidence that snapped Jess out of her food daydream.

OK, we’re really going to sit here and talk about this?!

“I don’t have anything to say to him.” She retorted.

“Jess, you were best friends.” Carol reminded her which only served to prod at her temper and she sprang up from her seat, slapping a hand on the glass tabletop.

“Were we?!” She hissed, “Where was he when I needed him? Hmm?”

Carol was taken aback but such an aggressive turn in Jess, but wasn’t afraid. She’d evolved just as much as the woman before her and was sure that if pushed she could be just as cold and distant herself.

“He’s different now. Just like you. It’s like he was a child before… now, he’s a man.” She noticed Jess glance over her shoulder at Daryl, who was now helping rick by carrying a heavy bag of soil over his shoulder. When she moved her gaze back to the porch, her eyes fell back onto the table and to the plate of cookies. “Give him a chance. You’ll see he’s changed. Please.” Carol added.

“It’s complicated. You don’t know anything about it. I appreciate what you’re trying to do but you’re wasting your time. It’s not just black and white and I’ve worked hard to keep my life as simple and pain free as possible and what have you put in those cookies to make them go that color?”

Carol was confused, her train of thought thrown off with Jess’s bizarre question.

“Uh… beets.” She stammered.

“Huh. Beets. Right.” Jess replied. She reached out, took a cookie and in a split second she had vanished into Deanna's house.  

Standing in the empty hallway with her back to the front door, she closed her eyes and exhaled slowly. She knew in her heart that she had to face him at some point. They were practically neighbors with her fairground abode less than a mile away and their similar skills meaning they were bound to be put together for hunting, supply runs and the like by Deanna. Jess didn’t really know what to do past hiding in her home and burying her head in the sand, but she was smart enough to accept that civility might be the least that could be expected of her. She had no plans to pick up a friendship ever again, her solitary lifestyle proving more than ideal both for her physical safety and her emotional stability. But the sting of loneliness succeeded in distracting her during dark, cold nights and every single time she thought of Daryl. Maybe if she just spoke to him and tried to clear the air, things would be easier overall.

* * * * * 

Daryl had just passed Judith back to her father after a brief spell of her sitting on his knee and looking utterly compelled by everything he said to her. He told her about his first truck, how his brother had taught him to fish and drink shooters for hours in bars. He told her that one day, if Rick would let him, he’d teach her to fish too. He figured that hunting information was a little too much for a soul so young and figured he would leave it until she was at least old enough to hold a crossbow without falling over before he taught her how to kill a deer.

It was becoming a nightly habit. He would sit quietly with Judith and think about the day. Sometimes he’d read to her, sometimes he’d just talk quietly. He knew it was more than he would ever say to any adults, but Judith didn’t judge or answer back. She listened with such interest that he sometimes wondered if she would remember what he told her when she grew up. He liked having a kid around. Carl was getting older and more independent, thinking he knew everything yet still being vulnerable enough to need looking after. He was at an age where he could easily repeat things he heard, but Judith didn’t.

He lit a cigarette and reclined in the squeaky chair and watched the smoke expelled from his lungs billowing up into the night. The stars were out, bright and twinkling. If it wasn’t for the snarling beyond the walls from the nightly encroachment of Walkers, it would have been a peaceful and visually appealing night.

He was halfway through his smoke when movement in the night caught his eye and he did a double take at Jess, who stood at the bottom of the porch stairs with her hood and mask up. Her eyes glistened under the light of the single bulb which flowed above the door. She seemed to manifest out of nowhere and by that point, he’d figured that it was one of her most honed skills. She was silent as the night, until she wasn’t and that was only when it suited her.

“Hi” She said quietly at the same time as fiddling with her fingers and dropping her gaze.

“Hey.” He grunted.

Daryl wondered what she was even doing in the same proximity as him, but he wasn’t about to ask. He considered Carol’s advice once more and decided he may as well give in to his curiosity and see what she was doing at the foot of the steps to his house after dark.

“Do you have a minute?” She asked.

“What’s it look like?” He snapped without thinking. When the words left his lips, he immediately regretted the tone, hearing it laced with anger and bitterness. “I mean, I ain’t exactly busy. Have a seat.” He corrected his inconvenienced emphasis and nudged his head up at the empty seat across the table from him.

She hesitated, one foot on a journey to accept his invitation and the other rooted to the ground. Telling herself she wouldn’t have to stay long anyway, she accepted and slipped into the seat.

“There’s something I should tell you.” She started. His eyes lifted from the now almost finished cigarette between his fingers. “I found Merle in Atlanta.”

He glared at her. She wasn’t telling him anything he didn’t already know. His brother told him where she was. His message through Michonne urged Daryl to go to the City and find Jess. It said more than that too, but he was not about to let on that Merle had given away anything other than her location.

“I know.” He responded bluntly.

“He found you,” she stated with a nod of understanding.

“Yeah. He found me.” He echoed.

Merle obvious absence spoke volumes, as did Daryl’s downcast expression at the mere mention of his brother’s name. He wasn’t there for the same reason some of the others from the Quarry were absent.

“I’m sorry, about whatever happened to him.” She offered sincerely.

“Don’t be. Ain't your fault” he told her. He stubbed out his smoke in a glass dish in the centre of the table. His snappy demeanour apparently vanishing as fast as the smoke in the air.

She felt the need to explain how she’d found him, for some reason thinking that information volunteered would somehow make things easier for him. It was still there, she still cared about him.

“I found him in a camping store in the city. Almost bled out. Delirious.” She began “Took him in and stitched him up. He always said he would leave when he could, to find you. He wasn’t the best house guest and he certainly had no manners.”

He raised an eyebrow before sucking his bottom lip into his mouth and nibbling on it.

“Ya didn’t have to help him.”

“Couldn’t just walk away and let him die.” She admitted. “I knew how much he meant to you.”

The last part of her sentence was unintentional and she’d aimed to think it instead of actually say it. But there it was, as plain as day. If he didn’t know she cared about him before, he certainly did now.

“Thank you” He expressed as he tried to make eye contact. Jess avoided his attempt and swallowed hard, staring down into her lap.

“No problem.” She whispered.

A long silence proceeded to engulf them both in an almost unbearable awkwardness that felt like a lifetime when it was merely a few minutes. Jess remembered the days when they could sit side by side in quiet understanding without having to fill the gaps with unnecessary chit chat. So unbearable was it that Jess was seconds away from springing up from her seat and leaving.  

“He told me where to find ya.” Daryl informed her.

“Huh. Of course, he did.” Jess scoffed knowingly.

“Said I should go after ya. I found your apartment. Why the city?” He wanted to know.

She realized there and then that he went out of his way to track her down in the city from Merles information. She knew he might, but knowing he actually did still surprised her and made her question everything she thought to be true. It was months between Merle leaving and Jess abandoning her apartment, even longer since she left the quarry camp. She couldn’t be sure if he got her note or not, but he was definitely looking for her after a considerable amount of time had passed.

“Um, well… all the people left, so it belongs to the Walkers now. Learn how to deal with them, use them to your advantage and the city is your oyster. Everybody leaves so suddenly; it means there’s supplies everywhere. Eventually, a group came through that I didn’t like the look of, so I left and stayed in the woods. Lived on a boat for a while. Then, I found the fairground.”

It was the most she’d said to him since she appeared in his life again and the sound of her voice through her mask was so different it was like talking to a stranger. She’d not only felt the need to hide her voice, she was also hiding her personality, her sense of humor and the essence of who she really was. That was, if there was anything left.

“You can fight now. How’d ya get so good?” He asked.

She wasn’t expecting to still be sitting with him at all, let alone having to answer questions. But he was probing for a good reason, she was aware that he was interested in her time away and how far she’d come. She just didn’t think he cared enough to ask about it.

“I can fight Walkers.” She corrected, making him aware that she wasn’t proficient in the art of grappling with live humans. “It was me and them, for a long time. A city full of wandering corpses makes for great practice. Then there’s the hunting and general survival skills I knew I had to have if I were ever forced to move out of Atlanta. There’s a lot of reading material in abandoned bookstores. I learned a lot while I was there.” She explained, hazarding a small glimpse of him and seeing his eyes dragging over her clothing and weapons.

“Turned up lookin like Rambo too.” he mentioned.

Now, she looked at him properly, their eyes meeting across her mask. He hadn’t changed much, not that she could see. He was more mature, more grounded but still Daryl. Still with the same sense of toeing the line and making fun of her. She found herself trying not to laugh, holding back a huge part of herself that just rushed out when she saw the corner of his mouth quirk up.

“Can kick your ass like Rambo if you don’t find someone more feminine to liken me to.” She quipped.

His lips curled further into a smile and behind her mask, Jess fought not to mirror him.

“Still got ya attitude” he pointed out.

It was news to her. Apparently, she did and he was the one to bring it out in her

“You still have yours too.” She shot back as she got up and walked back to the steps, her heavy boots clunked along the wooden flooring and she struck quite the intimidating figure, but Daryl knew the girl inside and he hoped that some semblance of her was still there.

“Goodnight” she uttered as she descended the steps and walked off into the darkness.

“Night, Jess.”

Now, he could use her name. The girl under the disguise.  

* * * * * 

Glenn perched on the trucks hood, picking berries from a tree branch and shoving them into his mouth. He wasn’t taking a risk, Daryl had been forthcoming with ensuring the group only ate what he said was safe, and everything in moderation. Jess leaned against the wheel arch with a map open in her hands after traipsing through an entire town looking for Veterinary Hospital that didn’t seem to exist. Their fruitless trip so far had been nothing but a major inconvenience.

“You sure you saw it?” She pressed as she craned her back at him and held a hand above her eyes to shield them from the sun.

“A hundred percent. I just can’t remember where.” Glenn confessed as he threw the last of the berries into his mouth and threw the stick away.

“Helpful.” Jess murmured. “I’ve never ventured out this way before. Too many people, not enough animals.”

Glenn squinted down at her as she flapped the map in her hands, straightening its corners.

“People?” He asked

“Undesirables.” She murmured. “We have to be careful.”

“Oh. Sure.”

She circled an area of the map with her finger, mainly to herself and only half interested in Glenn’s attention. “Should check here. It’s the only area we haven’t covered in a five-mile radius. It’s got to be there.”

Glenn agreed and began checking over his gun, making sure it was fully loaded. Jess turned her body and leaned her elbows on the hood, re-strapping her gloves and pushing her hood down for the time being. With it only being the two of them, her worries about revealing herself were now non-existent and Glenn knowledge of who she was had given her a huge sense of relief. Being able to go on a run without the worry of him figuring her out was a new and enjoyable kind of peace.

“Where did y’all go? When you left the Quarry?” she asked out of the blue.

He hesitated before answering her, the answer backing up in mind as he rifled through all the things that they’d been through since the Quarry, the people they’d lost and the terrible ways they’d died. It wasn’t easy and sometimes he wondered how they’d got so far but over time and through their shared trauma, they’d become a family. He’d become something else too, one half of a pair with Maggie. The woman of his dreams and he couldn’t help but smile when he remembered how she’d propositioned him in the middle of an abandoned store and ever since their relationship had grown into something he never would have anticipated.

“We tried the CDC. That was a disaster.” He said “One guy left and he blew himself and the building to pieces. Then we stayed on the Greene’s farm. Maggie’s dad owned it. Herd came through, pushed us out of there. Then, we ended up at a prison. We were there for a while. Until some psycho came along and tried to take the place. A lot of people died. We all got split up and that’s how we were reunited…in the worst way, at Terminus.”

Jess held his gaze for a few moments as she contemplated how their numbered had depleted but were replaced by new faces and yet they were still such a tight-knit group. She figured they had Rick to thank for that after witnessing the way he led his people through the gate of Alexandria for the first time with Daryl at his side.

“You guys have been through a lot” She stated.  

“Guess we have, Yeah.” He agreed thoughtfully. “But then again, everybody has, right? You have too.”

Jess didn’t think she’d fought anywhere near the kinds of battles Rick’s group appeared to have survived. She wasn’t without her own difficult memories, but most of those consisted of being alone and having to adapt to fighting Walkers and avoiding detection by other survivors. She’d faced more of an internal war than a physical one, born out of using stealth and cunning to avoid having to engage in actual fighting any more than was necessary. When she did kill the living, it was inevitable and got shoved to one side to enable her to carry on with life at the end of the world.

“Not really.” She disagreed “Keeping out of sight was how I lasted this long. Can’t be robbed, raped or killed if nobody knows you exist.”

“What if you’re discovered by chance?” Glenn argued.

She met his eye, a knowing look exchanged between the two of them. It didn’t need to be voiced that both of them were forced to do things they would never be proud of.

“Then you do what you have to do” She uttered.

Glenn nodded sadly before attempting a risky move.

“Why did you run? From the Quarry” he questioned.

She knew she would face such a question from nearly all of them at some point, her assumption was that it would be Daryl that was the first to ask had been correct, but Glenn being next happened a little quicker than she thought. What she hadn’t quite decided on, was how she was going to answer it. Should she be completely honest, or sugar coat the truth and skirt around the real reasons? She felt overwhelmed, pushed out, betrayed and like she was a mere burden that would never fit in.

“A lot of reasons.” She mumbled. “I ran away to save myself. I needed to lose who I was”

A spell of silence passed between them as Glenn tried to make sense of her response. Jess could feel his disagreement as if it were a weight on her shoulders. He shuffled closer on the hood and slid his gun back into its holster. A loud sigh was followed by a quick scan of the area they were parked in. All still quiet and safe enough.

“The people you loved that are gone…they helped to make you who you are. If you lose that, you lose the last bit of them that’s still around inside, who you are is gone…but so are they.” He told her, feeling her eyes locked on him, her brow furrowed as if surprised by his sudden philosophical take on things. “It’s how you lose people all over again, even after they’re gone. You honor them by carrying on, because they don’t get to”

The conversation was veering into a territory that Jess was no longer comfortable with. She didn’t want to be forced to stare her decisions in the face and dissect her train of thought and reasons for arriving at them. While she couldn’t say that Glenn was wrong, the idea that she’d lost everyone she’d loved for good due to her own actions wasn’t one she wanted to entertain. They were still there, in her heart, in her soul. Or were they?

“So, Carol got split from everyone else?” She queried, shamelessly changing the subject.

“Actually no. She was already on the outside on her own for a while. I’ll let Rick or Carol explain it themselves one day. Along with everything else that happened at the prison. But let’s just say we really appreciate what you two did. That place… was like nothing I’ve ever seen before.” He mused, the flicker of fear in his eyes evident upon his reminiscence of his time at Terminus.  “I couldn’t stand the thought of Maggie dying in that hell hole. I’m glad it was me they almost killed. She didn’t deserve to go through that.” He added.

Jess said nothing, too wrapped up in the thought of being so in love and attached to someone that you would die to save their life. It was a completely alien concept to her, except for the likes of her family, she wasn’t sure there would ever be anyone else she would risk her life for. Then, she remembered the time she spent following Daryl through the woods with a group of men she didn’t trust one, single ounce, the people she murdered inside Terminus and the ferocity of her rage which she used to demand his whereabouts. She refused to leave until she knew he was safe and then it occurred to her; she would have died at Terminus. She would have died for Daryl.

“Where’d you get all the gear? The body armor. Looks like high-grade stuff.” Glenn interrupted, scattering her revelatory thoughts.

“Uh…” She grunted, having to take a deep breath and ignore the fact that she’d just discovered the actual extent of her fondness for the man that broke her heart. “Mostly dead Cops and Soldiers. Needed a little cleaning up here and there. Found some stuff in gun stores too, most were picked clean but one or two had the good stuff strapped to the dead owners”

“Nice. It looks good.” He smiled.

“Thanks, but It’s not about how it looks. It’s got to be practical. I can move around and none of it makes a sound. So, I can hunt and travel undetected and still remain nothing but a shaded movement in somebody’s peripheral vision. If anything bites me, it’s got to have pretty sharp teeth to break the barrier too.” She informed him with a certain degree of pride in herself. It was trial and error, endless days testing fabric and different levels of armor using sharp objects and creeping around groups of Walkers.

“We could really use this kind of thing for runs. Think you could find more?” he asked

“Probably.” She shrugged. “One thing at a time though. Let’s get this equipment first.”

He slithered down from the hood and slapped the surface with a grin as he rounded the truck and climbed into the driver’s seat. Jess settled beside him and frowned when he pressed ‘play’ on the CD player. Music filled the cab and she rolled her eyes, looking out at the rapidly passing houses on the side of the street.

* * * * * 

Despite their conversation on the porch of his house, Daryl’s efforts to engage Jess in any more conversation in the coming days fell victim to her insistence to be left alone. He grew more and more frustrated with every instance that he witnessed her chatting away carelessly to others. She still laughed with Abraham and even joined him on gate duty. Aaron was treated to discussions while sat on the wall outside of the armory and even Glenn earned himself an enthusiastic handshake and some kind of mocking dig that couldn’t be heard upon returning from a run with her one evening. It seemed everyone else but Daryl was allowed to be around her and it angered him so much that one night, he decided that he needed to do something about it.

After seeing her playfully slap Abraham’s big arm as they spoke at the side of the road, she bid him farewell and ambled slowly to the gate, nodding at the guard. It was early evening and the sun was going down, the time of year dictating that one minute it was light and the next, flashlights were needed to light the way and the rapid change was almost unnoticeable. The sky glowed with pinks and purples and small birds were still singing in the trees when Daryl dashed out of the gap in the gate and surged after Jess.

She walked slowly, adjusting her bow on her back and calmly glancing around at her surroundings. She liked this time of the day, much like the early morning’s it always seemed to be peaceful and still no matter what horrors were unfolding across the world. It was a nice escape, even if it was only temporary. Her boots crunched over the dirt and she began to hum tunefully to herself. A Beatles song.

“Jess”

Daryl’s voice shot out of the serenity like an arrow and shattered her illusions of an enjoyable walk back to her home. She huffed, her jaw clenching and her body turning to him slowly.

“What do you want, Daryl? Just leave me alone.” She sighed.

His trespassing into her alone time was akin to him walking right into the fairground and making himself at home in her eyes. She had admitted who she was and now she just wanted to be allowed to observe things from the fence without getting involved with anyone or anything that would mean anchoring herself emotionally. But Daryl quite obviously had other ideas and wasn’t satisfied with her terms.

“Why you gotta be such a bitch, huh?!” He snapped.

She shifted her weight and crossed her arms, looking him dead in the eye.

We’re name-calling. Mature. There’s the old Daryl.

“I am being perfectly fucking civil.” She replied mockingly, a sarcastic smile emerging on her lips behind her mask. It occurred to Daryl that if he couldn’t see her face, he couldn’t judge her reactions to be truthful.

“Take it off.” He demanded, gesturing with a hand to her face.

“No.” She refused.

“Take the mask off.” He tried once more.

“Why?” She asked.

“You n’ I, we’re gonna have a conversation and I ain’t talkin’ to no mask. Don’t make me take it off myself ‘cause I will n’ you know it”

Aggression and testing her resolve were fast becoming the only way he could get through to her and get her to comply and he wondered when she developed such a strong will and courage to rival his own. If he was honest with himself, her bravery impressed him regardless of it being so far from the Jess he used to know. She needed it to stay alive and it seemed to be serving her well, even though it meant they locked horns.

Jess gave in and opted to endure whatever he wanted to talk about mainly because she wanted it over with, but also because there was a different side to her story that she was interested in hearing. She flicked her mask down with one swift movement while the rest of her body stood completely rigid and angry. Her vision was narrowed, her eyes dark and unimpressed.

“What the hell happened to you? We were friends and now ya won’t even look at me.” He asked.

She moved closer, standing inches from his face and not showing an ounce of fear. She was defensive but challenging and he wanted to step back and observe this drastic change in her properly. She was no longer a shrinking violet, her confidence in the face of confrontation had come out of nowhere. The Jess from before would have said her piece but backed right off. This woman had a grudge and Daryl knew now that he was at the center of it.

Jess spoke clearly and deliberately her eyes not wavering from his for even a second.

“I was ‘just a girl’. I didn't mean shit to you’. Isn’t that right, Daryl?” She hissed

A flashback hit him like a bus. He was standing with Merle on the slope to the water back at the Quarry. It was dark, he could hear the waves lapping against the shore. Merle was mocking him for catching feelings. He rubbished his claims with a single sentence. One that unbeknownst to him at the time, Jess heard every word and it changed everything. Destroyed something good, something meaningful. Something he missed everyday.

She heard me. Shit. I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean what I said.

He stepped away from her, sighing loudly and rubbing his eyes with his thumb and finger on one hand. Jess seethed in front of him, her hurt and pain now simmering just under the surface after the words being repeated for the first time. It all came rushing back, all the old feelings of being rejected and lied to.

“That’s what this is about?” He asked quietly.  

“Don’t you dare trivialize it.” She warned with a slight tremor in her voice. Her emotions were boiling over and cracks in her defenses were beginning to show.

“I’m ain’t…. I’m-I’m not” he quickly assured her, lifting one hand and showing her his palm in surrender.

She felt as though she would burst with all the things she wanted him to know. She wanted him to feel the betrayal and sadness she’d endured for himself, to have to live with it festering in the back of his mind like she had. Her bottom lip quivered and she sucked in a sharp breath.

“You broke my goddamn heart.” She whispered shakily.

Both of them froze at the sound of her admission. It wasn’t exactly something she wanted him to know but there it was anyway, the truth about how she felt, floating in the air between them. The air left Daryl’s lungs and his shoulders lowered. He dropped his vision, unable to look at the broken expression on her features.

She couldn’t hide it any longer, a single, salty tear flittered down her cheek and she whirled around, striding into what was now a thick darkness lit only by the moon. She was shrouded in black, protected by the night but the emotional exposure was kicking her anxiety into gear and meant she had to depart, to run away and go back to where she felt safe. She knew the way to the fairground even if she was blinded by the lack of light. It was like someone clicked their fingers and she was teleported to her destination, the route to her home a complete blur of tears and sniffles. She fumbled with the chain and lock on the gate, pausing to click on a hanging, LED light that bumped against the fence post. Her heart jumped in her chest when a hand wrapped around her wrist and she flinched away, seeing that Daryl had somehow followed her without her noticing. So wrapped up had she been in her own tears, that she’d made it home without a single care for the dangers that might be surrounding her.

“Wait. Please.” He requested, stepping under the light on the fence.

In her other hand, she still grasped the lock on the gate. It rattled when she let go and swallowed hard.  

“I didn’t mean what I said to him.” He said sincerely. “Ya know what he was like. I just wanted to shut him up”

She licked her lips, tasting the tang of her tears and roughly wiped at her face with the sleeve of her jacket.

“You didn’t defend me either.” She told him. Her voice was now akin to a pathetic whimper and she detested the sound of her own vulnerability. “If we were supposed to be friends, if I actually meant anything to you, you would have stood up for me when that fucking airhead started reading my journal. Because we both know I was not in a position to do that myself. I needed you and you walked away.”

He nodded in understanding and Jess thought he might have been expecting to hear such a thing.

“I know. M’sorry.” He said, stepping closer to her. She backed up.

“Right. Sure.” Came her sarcastic reply, her walls still raised and Daryl’s apology doing little to knock them down. It was going to take a lot for her to trust anyone again, let alone him.

She struggled with the lock, finally releasing it and noisily hauling the gate open. She stepped inside and slammed it, clicking the lock back into place and walking away. To her surprise, it began to rain. Small raindrops splattering long the path and gently playing a rhythm on the top of her hood.

“I let ‘em die.” He called out. “Both of em.”

She halted and peered over her shoulder at him, his fingers were threaded through the fence. To his credit, she couldn’t deny that he was trying more than she ever would have guessed. His determination to pursue her and make her listen was obvious. She knew exactly who he was referring to.

“How many people you killed, Jess?” he questioned.

She lowered her head and took a deep breath, not wanting to answer the question. It wasn’t something she thought should be a part of regular conversation unless absolutely necessary. Taking another human beings’ life was no menial task, nor was it something to be discarded like it didn’t matter. It was a huge deal, especially to Jess. But she kept the details and numbers locked away where they couldn’t play on her conscience too much.

“Wouldn’t be alive right now if ya hadn’t killed somebody and I know you must have put down a lot of them assholes at Terminus.” He reasoned, still gripping the fence and refusing to budge.

“Then there’s your answer.” She grunted. “A lot”

“Yeah. Me too. Those two girls? They were the first.” He revealed.

She needed to hear it. They were dead, that much didn’t need to be explained. But she wanted to know the how’s and why’s. She slowly wandered back to the gate.

“Merle told me you almost shot Sarah in the face.” She mumbled.

“Yeah. I really wanted to” he huffed “But… there was kids watchin’, y’know? Before that, before ya left, I took her to the woods and threatened to slit her throat if she bothered ya again. Didn’t know that, did ya?”  

She didn’t know, she had no idea but managed to keep her shock well hidden. Her eyes only flickering up to his.

“In the end…I watched ‘em get bit and I did nothin’ ‘cause I fuckin’ hated what they did to you. I know I was a shitty friend. But I wasn’t lyin’ when I said I just don’t have friends. I always been kind of a loner ‘cept for when I was with Merle.”

“You were ashamed of me.” She pointed out

“What?! That’s bullshit.” He exclaimed in disbelief.

She stepped closer to where he stood beyond the fence, the light illuminating them both from above enough for them to be able to read each other’s expressions.

“As soon as people started making fun of you being around me, you closed up like a clam and treated me like I was some kind of fly that just followed you around. God forbid you’d be seen with… what was it that Merle called me? Oh, that’s right, the ‘little, fat chick!’.” She explained with regret.

“Oh, c’mon, Jess!” He cried, frustration etched onto his features as he leaned closer to the fence, urging her to believe him.

“Tell me I’m wrong!” She shot back, silencing him. “Right. Because I’m not, am I?!”

He suddenly slammed both of his hands against the metal links on the barrier between them, sending a shockwave along the structure. Jess jumped slightly and moved back.

“Two weeks!” He yelled with no regard for the danger he might be attracting from the woods “I looked for you for two god damn weeks and they all wanted to move on n’ forget ya like ya never mattered!” His breathing had changed and she noticed that he was almost panting, his chest rising and falling rapidly. “WELL, YA MATTERED TO ME!” He yelled at her with another slam of his hands. She merely blinked but could feel the heaviness of tears building behind her eyes again. “I told ‘em, I said I wasn’t doing shit for none of ‘em until I found you.” He dug into his pocket and pulled out a brown, crumpled piece of paper, unfolding it and slapping it against the fence. “Instead, I found your stupid note and I fuckin’ kept it! So, don’t you dare tell me I was ashamed of you!”

She cursed herself internally for being unable to quash the need to cry. She hadn’t cried in over a year, having learned to push her emotions away and carry on. Now, she’d hardly stopped and she hated every single second. His confession regarding her note and his actions after her departure had changed everything. She was wrong. She had been wrong for so long. He did care about her after all and it was like they’d swapped roles. He didn’t know how to show it at the time. Now, she had more in common with him than ever. He had opened up to her and shown her a side to him that she didn’t know was there. He’d more than proved he cared and she felt more guilty than ever. It was too much to take in, to be able to stand before him and keep composed and so she quickly vanished into the Diner, leaving him standing alone in the rain with her creased note clutched in his hand.  

* * * * * 

Eric and Aaron's place was the perfect show home, straight out of an interior decorating convention and cleaner than a surgical suite. Jess was often reluctant to touch anything for fear of leaving a fingermark and being banished. Eric and Aaron didn’t mind, of course, having welcomes Jess into their home with open arms and not once mentioning any house rules or cleanliness standards to be followed. She used the place like a hotel but was always grateful for their hospitality and the free rein to come and go as she pleased. She was also pretty sure that no other residents of Alexandria made spaghetti quite like them.

She stayed at the Diner for the next two days, eventually emerging and resuming her hunting and clearing duties only to find that Daryl had covered for her in both areas. The walls were clear and there was meat in the pantry. Feeling useless and still lumbered with emotions, she threw Daryl a split-second peep where he stood by the armory and raced to the other side of the street, letting herself into Aaron and Eric’s living room and slumping down onto their couch. Aaron ticked off a crossword in a wildly outdated newspaper on the opposite couch and peered at her over the broadsheet, observing her troubled body language; fiddling hands and constant sighing. She presented in such a way that he had never seen from her before. She was anxious.

He lowered the paper and zoned in on the only visible and readable part of her, her eyes. Stunned by what he was witnessing, he gradually discarded his newspaper and crept closer to her, eventually sitting on the coffee table in front of her. She looked up and he could practically feel the sadness seeping from her pores.

“OK…I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cry.” He whispered.

“It’s a rare occurrence.” She sniffed. “Not happened in over a year. Now it’s like a fucking floodgate that I can’t close.” She stated plainly. While her eyes were watering, her breathing hadn’t changed, creating a strange and blank air around her.  It was a very odd sight for Aaron to comprehend.

“Are you here because you want to talk about it?” He pressed with a genuine desire to help. He wanted her to say yes and tried to urge her by shifting closer and waiting patiently.

“I don’t know.” She said under her breath.

“Look, I know you don’t trust anyone. But you’ve been staying in this house on and off for weeks now. You and I, we get along well. You can tell me, maybe I can help.” He tried.

Apparently, all Jess needed was a friendly face that wasn’t connected to Daryl to expel the contents of her mind to. She spent the next hour telling Aaron everything, right from the Quarry and up until that very day. She explained how her and Daryl used to be good friends and were torn apart by a number of factors, namely his mixed signals and her overthinking. At the suggestion from Aaron that her self-esteem played a part in it, a further door was opened in her head; he was completely right and it made her feel even more guilty for harboring such a huge grudge for so long. She expressed a need to make things right, but not to get too close and Aaron agreed, stating that while he thought it a good idea for now, she would not be wrong to let her guard down and give him another chance. Throughout their conversation, she cried more than once and was comforted by understanding and empathy. But when he reached out to hold her hand, she snatched it away and recoiled in discomfort. Aaron knew then not to push her too much, her refusal to remove her mask was also another telling factor that while she trusted him enough to accept his help, her face would remain behind a disguise that she used as a safety net.

“Sorry. I don’t do so well with the touching thing”. She told him.

It was the first time she’d trusted anyone with anything since Daryl at the quarry. She trusted him with her life and was left feeling like he’d lied to her. She hoped Aaron would not do the same and that his advice would help to mend the broken shards of what was left of her shattered friendship and she and Daryl could at least speak to each other without the past looming over them.

“What are you going to do?” Aaron asked.

“I have an idea. But I’m not sure it’ll work.” She replied.

NEXT CHAPTER

---  tagging as requested ---

@lilred254​

[ortegatrash]

FH fic - Euthanasia

Name: Léon Bellandini | Puppet: Simba | Villain name: Pride Daring/arrogant/fighter/lots of contacts/gang leader.

Trigger warnings: Elaborate descriptions of death, graphic violence, disassociation/derealisation, PTSD flashbacks, memory problems, mentions of past abuse and dealing with the aftermath.

The world of heroes and villains is not a nice one. It’s messy and painful and complicated. Sometimes innocent people get hurt. Sometimes people die.

Léon has blood on his hands and can’t always remember why. Dark.

A mind flickering in the distance, like a dying candle.

Pain, fear, so scared what's happening? This can't be happening to me it's not real

You don't even flinch. Death is routine to you by now. There are only so ways to die and only so many reactions to it and it blurs into one big mess of emotions after a while. Shields help, but the thing is you've just seen so much of it you've mostly just become...well, used to it.

I'm too young this isn't how I wanted to go I'm too young to die!

It's always distasteful when civilians get involved. You try to keep them out of things, but... the honest truth is that collateral damage happens. The underworld is not a kind place and people end up in the wrong place at the wrong time.  People who dip their feet into your world know what they're signing up for, know that death can come at any moment. You've signed your lives away to it and once you enter the darkness the only way you truly leave its depths is through a body bag.

There's a certain resigned acceptance that comes with that. People still aren't happy, but it's not the same as the complete shock that innocents get when they realise they're just as mortal and as fallible as everyone else.

Normal thugs you can go easy on. It takes too much effort to bother to make it painless for every single one that falls in the row of faceless masses, but you at least take pride in being a professional. It's just business, nothing personal, no need to make a mess of things. You despise getting blood on your suits; your dry cleaner is discreet and reliable but you'd rather not make a habit of ruining them often enough he begins to think you're completely incompetent at this whole thing.

Now people who have wronged you, that’s another story. The guilty and the corrupt. The so-called heroes. People who indulge in this cruel game of society built on the blood of those underneath them…

Despicable.

It's them you have a personal vendetta against. Let them feel everything they've done to you, let them suffer as you did. Their pain won't do much to ease your need to destroy them, it won't satisfy the void in your heart or make the scars you have disappear.

But their screaming is so, so sweet.

You're certainly not an angel but you would never give someone the disservice of pretending they weren't people too. That they didn't have their own lives and dreams and hopes that dissolve once and for all at your own hand. You've had your own personhood denied and you won't be so heartless as to deny that small acknowledgement to others.

You won't ever be like Them.

That's why you do this. Maybe these people are going to die alone drowning in their own blood and their only witness to their end an enemy who's going to crush their face into the concrete and enjoy it. That doesn't mean you won't take a moment to reminisce over their last moments, to witness the flame of their mind go out and never come back.

The dead can't hurt you any more. They can't.

What have  you done, Léon? You're better than this.

...Stop it, Anathema.

.

..

...You shake your head. You shouldn't get caught up in your thoughts, you tend to go blank and lose your train of thought.

There are a lot of ways people deal with death. Most tend to go through the stages of grief - not always in order, not always all of them. But there are patterns.

This can’t be real whose legs are those? why are they pointing the wrong way why are they attached to me that’s so horrible

Denial. She didn’t think anything was going to happen today. She thought bad things only happened to someone else, not people like her.

Help me it hurts it hurts please someone help me how could they do this to me! This isn't fair I'm not ready I'm not ready I wanted to kiss him I wanted to tell him I liked him I've never even had my first kiss this is not fair!

Anger. She's just a kid, her sweet 16th is supposed to be next week and now her world has fallen down around her, crushed her underneath its weight. She just wanted to take a shortcut through the alley after school. Her parents don't know she's here, she lied and said she was going to study at the library to sneak to a boy's house. They've been sending sweet messages in class but she got her phone confiscated because of it and couldn't call 911 and now it's too late.

Please, anyone! Anyone...can you hear me? Please save me I promise I'll be good I have so many things I wanted to do so many regrets, I'll  reform myself just please

Bargaining. There is so much she wanted to do, so much she dreamt about. She wanted to be a nurse, she wanted to help people and join a charity because she's seen the way people are turned away from hospitals because they can't afford it. That's how her little brother died and the hole in her family never quite healed.  The empty chair at the dinner table is going to have one right next to it soon and this is going to crush her parents. Parents aren’t supposed to outlive their children.

Someone- Who's there? An answer to desperate prayers? A gleam of gold, a red flutter in the wind who is that? Fear, adrenaline - villain come to finish me off?- So so much blood why is it outside of me that's not right...I'm not going to make it, I have so many regrets I want to cry

Depression. She told her parents she hated them, of course she didn't mean it. It was just anger, she was just frustrated at failing biology and the threats of repeating a grade and being left behind and she hasn't even done anything with her life before it's already ending. They won't know what happened here until the knock on the door, the officer in blue. She's so sorry she loves them she wishes she could tell them that but it's too late too late too late.

You are not cruel, despite what people say. You save it for the people who have wronged you and this, this child is just an unfortunate victim. Can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs, after all. You hadn't planned for this but you're not some sort of barbarian. No needless suffering for people who don't deserve it.

She's too weak to resist, too weak to even lift her head up. There's a procedure for animals that are too badly injured to make it, you make their last moments comfortable and their deaths painless.

Idly, you wonder why humans never get that mercy. It seems backwards to you to let humans suffer when supposed 'lesser' animals were given relief.

Maybe it's fitting. Humans can be such bastards capable of so much cruelty that perhaps they should suffer. Not this one though. She’s just a little lost duckling who got got smashed up against the rocks of life.

It doesn't take much tweaking usually;  a quick in and out of their minds, cutting the pain off and letting their brains either go dark or grabbing their last thoughts and twisting them into whatever greeting they expect to come after death. A light, an soft white wings beating, the voices of loved ones long gone greeting them with open arms and promising reunion. Usually something typical like that. That's for the ones you bother being nice to, if you have the luxury and time of being merciful.

Sometimes all you have time for is a quick twist of the neck or bullet through the brain before you need to move on. There's no use wasting energy using your nanovores on ordinary people and besides, they don't cut through flesh quite so neatly. They shouldn't, at least, you've made many, many precautions to keep them neutered, you don't ever want to see them disintegrate flesh-

-Anathema's eyes; so shocked, flesh melting peeling. The smell of flesh bubbling up and frying.

You can't- you can't deal with burning meat anymore, you pretend you're vegetarian because you're on a diet and maybe it surprises your team because they’ve seen you murder in cold blood before but it's because you can't deal with the consequences with cooking and accidentally leaving the heat on too long-

-No. No, you have a job to do, you don't have time for this again.

She looks so small at your feet all curled up, her body unconsciously trying to protect herself by going into a fetal position. You tut and ready yourself to dive in. Honestly, you expected better of a hero. He may not have intended this but he should follow through once he’s done instead of leaving her to suffer. He should have finished the job.

Time to put her out of her misery.

Her mind is panicking, she's dying and putting all her energy in trying to do something about it. That means it all redirects onto you, the intruder seeing her at her most vulnerable. Not that she can actually hurt you, she's just lashing out. Her hits might as well be a child’s play ball she's hurling at you for all the impact it makes on you.

You wrap yourself in her mother's embrace like a veil, soft tones and lullabies and kisses on the cheek. Memories of comforting words, stroking her hair like she’s little again and having nightmares; she doesn’t want to be alone. Her father's crackly stubble as he hugs her close, bright golden sunlight as they play backyard baseball and a sticky little brother with golden curls and a dimpled smile, the smell of warm milk on baby breath.

"Mama," she sobs, trembling as she buries her head in your chest. "Mama, it hurts, it hurts so bad."

"Shh, it's okay, baby. It's okay. Do you want me to take the hurt away?" You feel almost bored, dutifully acting out the behaviours you see dancing through her memories. When did you become this cold to normal people? Sure, you don’t really care about her…but.

Once upon a time you used to be able to feel a little bit bad about people outside your circle. Now there is only You and Your people and Other and you’re not sure when you stopped giving a damn about anyone who wasn’t yours.

"Yes, please please please! Make it stop, make it stop!" She can’t take much more of this before, she’s never felt such pain before.

"Yes dear," you soothe. "It will all be over soon."

Disguising yourself in memories is good, it makes her willing. She trusts you now and you don't feel any qualms about manipulating her at all because this is the only kindness you can grant her. The thread you want is frayed and almost unravelling, it takes only a moment to materialise a pair of scissors and snip away the excess. Can't feel pain if your pain receptors are cut off from the mind, after all.

She settles down now, snuggling into your arms as the small child she feels like again. Things are becoming disjointed, her mind is beginning to dissolve around you both.

Shit. You're running out of time.

"I love you," you lie with her mother’s warm voice, because people would rather hear sweet lies over cold, cold truth.

She sniffles into your sleeve and urgh, all you can do is to keep from recoiling from the mental snot on your arm. Now is not the time for your own distaste to be acting up, now you have to be strong to honour this girl's life and death.

"Mama, please,” she begs. “I don't want to die."

It's time.

"Shh, it's okay. It's okay," you tell her, infusing your voice with milk and honey and warm sleepy summer days. You can feel her relax, beginning to drift away in your arms. "You go on ahead and take care of your little brother for us, okay?"

"...Okay." She sniffs, letting go. "Okay."

…Acceptance.

Time to go. You're just about to head out through the fading frame of her childhood bedroom door before you feel a tug on your sleeve.

When you glance behind she's still there. She’s still there and she’s looking at you with a strangely knowing look in her eyes.

"Thank you," she whispers. "You didn't have to do that."

-And then you're ejected from her mind with a thud as the fragments begin to burn up and drift away in the wind.

You think you smell burning toast. Wha- What was that?

Did she… no matter. You need to finish this quickly before what’s left of her starts to get uncertain and confused again.

Silver metal, cold under her chin. A deep inhale as you plug one ear with a finger, your other hand cocked and ready.

The ringing in your ear resounds through your head, your arm shaking from the recoil.

...There. She's gone.

What a sight you must be, your beautiful golden armour now thoughtfully decorated in still-warm blood. It's messier than you would have liked, but that's life.

Are you proud of yourself?

You're not sure if you can answer that, truthfully, and that infuriates you. You were supposed to steadfast, you are supposed to be Pride, you are not supposed to doubt or question if you're doing the right thing.

No!

You don't regret doing this, this was a kindness, this was mercy, you are not a barbarian that would let animals suffer needlessly.

Isn't it your fault that this happened to begin with? Who are you trying to convince, the world or yourself?

Shut up, Anathema. You're dead. Ghosts can't talk.

.

..

Blinking, you shake your head. What…

What was it you were doing again?

He gurgles as the blood fills his mouth, spills over onto your arms while you crush his neck. The whites of his eyes spasm in their sockets as pierce through the fragile flesh of his throat, you don't know your own strength anymore.

Good.

The world is cruel and you've just had to adapt to survive. Now it will be you at the top sitting on the throne, now it will be you forcing them to bow at your feet and acknowledging them.

Now one will ever be able to hurt you again.

This is wrong. This is so wrong, Léon.

Fingers dance loosely trying to pry you away and weak as a newborn kitten. He's not getting away that easily, you want him to suffer for what he's done; for what all the heroes have done to you, for what the world has done to you.

Stop. Stop. You're torturing him.

Maybe if he didn't want to die he should have been more careful, you sneer. Heroes were no different than you so-called villains. The only difference was that you've accepted the truth: that you are just as bad as the rest of them. They still have delusions about the concept of 'good' and 'justice'.

STOP IT

They don't know the truth.  You are all pawns to be sacrificed at their amusement and you refuse to play their game when it’s rigged against you.

No. Now you will be the one in control. There's no one who can stand in your way, there are no voices-

S T O P  I T

-There is no such thing as justice given to people like you, so you are going to take what you need by force. That's why people like him need to suffer, that's why they will have no choice but to pay attention to you, you need to break, break, break him just like they broke you-

THAT.

IS.

E N O U G H!

.

..

...What?

Nothing works. You can't move, it's like something has come over you, all your muscles feel like they have frozen in place.

What. Have.  You.  Done?

...Go away, Anathema.

WHAT. HAVE. YOU. DONE?

Please. Please just go away.

.

..

...What was that just now. Did your mind just blank out for a second?

You drop the man to the ground, too shaken to hold on. Distantly, you become aware of the fact that you're reaching for your gun. Your hand is guiding the gun to his forehead, your finger almost moving of its own accord as you fire again and again

and again and again you need to make sure you need to make sure

And

And your heart is racing and breaking all over again and and and-

And end this.

You want to end...you.

Yes.

You don't have to do this anymore. You can finally rest. It feels like sweet, sweet relief-

-Your ears are ringing, someone is coming for you.

"Someone get the boss!"

"On it!"

"He's not responding, I think he's hyperventilating again-"

Need to go. Goodbye, Ortega. Goodbye, everyone

-Someone is grabbing you and you are shaking, you're not supposed to do that. You need to you need to..

..to..

You need to go, you need to MOVE

"Someone help restrain him! He's too strong!"

"Boss, boss, it's okay! You're safe, there aren't any more enemies, they're all dead!"-

Glass in your skin, it hurts it hurts the pain feels like relief and you shatter all over again and again and again

-Screaming, primal and terrifying in its distortion. Is that your voice? Your throat hurts. You don't care you can't care, you can't hear properly right now

And the birds have taken flight and your team are cowering and covering their ears and you can't you can't youcan'tYOUCAN'T-

Léon.

…

Oh, Léon.

...Leave me alone.

You need to stop doing this.

Please leave me alone.

...Why won't you just. Leave. Me. ALONE?

Stop doing this. Stop lashing out like this, stop hurting people. Léon? Don't ignore me.

Léon?

.

..

"-Boss? Are you back with us?"

Worried looks. You resent it, you resent falling apart in front of your Family. You are supposed to be strong. If you show weakness, they will start to doubt. You need to be good enough, you need to be perfect or they will lose confidence in you and you refuse to have that.

That's why you just give a curt nod. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure? You don’t seem fine, that looked really intense-"

Your body is moving and your mind is along for the ride. "I. AM. FINE!"

Footsteps backwards, you were too much. Regret is apparently the emotion of the day because you're flooded with a whole heap of it. You don't mean to yell. You didn't mean to get angry at their concern. This is so messed up.

If they lose confidence in you, they might leave.

And you can't. You can't let your Family leave. They are all you have, they are yours. You hate that you're what The Farm made you sometimes, that this is your reflexive reaction to anything and everything.

You just…

Why couldn't you be normal and show them you love them the normal way? You want to hold them close and yet you're so afraid of closeness that you just push them away again.

They're still just waiting. Waiting for an explanation. Maybe an apology that will never come - because you are Pride and you are all too proud to ever willingly admit weakness, admit that you messed up, that you were wrong.

.

..

...Nothing important happened today, everything went according to plan.

You ignore the looks your team are giving you, walking past and slipping a handkerchief out of a hidden compartment in your armour. Where did all this blood even come from? Urgh, you hate getting dirty.

You are not haunted by blank spots in your memory. You are not going crazy and you are not ever going to question if you're on the wrong path.

Maybe if you keep telling yourself that, it will become real.

You're already falling into the darkness, there's no stopping your course now. Like a circus performer walking the tightrope, you have to keep walking. You can't sway. If you question or hesitate you are only going to lose your balance and end up plummeting into the depths below.

You can't look down, you mustn't turn your head. Eyes forward; focus on the goal.

Léon.

So what if your hands are painted red?

So what if the hero hadn't meant to kill her, that he'd been a bit too overenthusiastic with his crushing abilities and didn't take into account that the wall he took down was a load-bearing one?

So fucking what. People die.

Get over it.

Get over it.

You can't escape what you've done, you know.

Please.

Why do you keep hurting people? Why do you keep hurting yourself?

Don't. Don't. Don't.

Silence. The faintest whisper, the creeping feeling of unseeing blank eyes that cast judgement and you are not cowering under them because you do not cower, you will not cower any more, you are strong you won't be a victim you will not apologise for what you are-

Why are you even doing this?

-You will never apologise for what you are. You are proud of it. You are Pride and that same pride would never admit allow you even consider being wrong.

Oh, Léon.

.

..

...You have absolutely no idea why, but you feel like crying.

[thatfairyfangirl]

True Colors Chapter 17

You sat in the corner of the Starbucks with half a smile on your face as you watched Ali make crass jokes, you enjoyed the fact that your friendship with her had been growing ever since her and Warren got together...You couldn’t believe when she told you that she was actually envious of you. She’d been at the game for a long time now and there you were making all these waves just being yourself. You loved her for saying that, for being so supportive ever since the dark hell you went through.

“How much you want to bet that by tomorrow we’re both going to be on TMZ rumored as dating?” She suggested she winked at you, pulling the first genuine laugh out of you since you got home.

“Hey there’s that smile!” Bucky beamed down to you as he came to sit by your side with a fresh cinnamon dolce latte for you to sip on. His metal wrapped around your shoulder as he tugged you in to kiss your forehead lightly. “And you better not start any rumors like that. Poor girl’s been through enough.”

“You starting trouble again?” Warren’s firm hands came to rest on the punk rocker’s shoulders, his wings tucked tightly behind his back but still far from hidden. The two looked so different, an angel and a rock star.

“Always babe.” She teased as she leaned her head back looking for a kiss.

“Wouldn’t do much anyway. I’m going on Good Morning America this weekend to promote the album,” you paused turning to Bucky, “if it's alright with you I’d like to at least mention us?”

You watched as Bucky’s smile brightened, his oceanic eyes sparkling as he dove in to kiss you deeply. “Of course its alright Doll.”

“What the hell? How come I never get invited to those fucking shows?” Ali asked with a playful smirk.

“Because you can’t watch your language. Obviously.” You teased back with a chuckle, feeling more and more like your old self as you surround yourself with friends and the one you loved so very much.

“So what are you two going to do for Valentine's day?” Warren asked, looking to shift the subject to something much lighter.

“What’s Valentine's day?” Bucky asked looking lost as his eyes scanned the shocked looks the small group gave him. The lost puppy dog look in his eyes broke as he looked onto your sad face, giving you a reassuring smile he pulled you in close. “Oh Doll I’m kidding! I’ve got something special planned, don’t worry.”

~ ~ ~ ~

“I’m sorry Sergeant Barnes but it would seem the wait list for Sushi Zo hasn’t cleared up yet.” Your eyes gently pried open as you rolled over to find Bucky pacing back and forth in his room, arguing with the disembodied robotic voice of FRIDAY, door still wide open. It hasn’t become uncommon for the two of you to just pick one of the two of your rooms and just share for the night...honestly you couldn't think of the last time either of you slept alone...well before the kidnapping, definitely. You COULDN’T sleep without him after that.

“Well can you see if any other sushi places have any openings? Tonight has to be perfect.” You smiled as you ran your fingers through your hair, watching him fret over tonight, loving that he remembered that sushi was your favorite.

“Going to be asking any big questions tonight Sargent?” He froze at the AI’s question. Eager to hear the answer you leaned over the bed, waiting impatiently for his answer...right up until you ran out of bed to lean over and you tumbled to the ground.

“Oh Doll you weren’t supposed to wake up yet!” He chuckled as his attention drew over to you.

“Answer the robot Barnes.” You teased flipping your rainbow hair back as he came to help you up.

“Not tonight Doll.” Okay so you may have known the answer to that one a mile away...You two hadn’t even gotten to the fun part about sharing a bet together yet...Besides, you were still sure he’d get bored with a mutant eventually.

With a smile you reached up to give him a soft sweet loving kiss, letting your tongues dance together as you felt his metallic hand sneaking its way under the back of your shirt to rake up and down your bare back in that way that drove you wild. “Don’t worry about the fancy reservations sweetheart.” You offered with a smile, looking to make this day as easy as possible for him. “As much as I like sushi I think you forget that I didn’t grow up with all this fame and fortune nonsense...or the free access to Stark funds like I have now.”

“Oh god Doll please don’t say you’re going to try cooking again.” He teased as you both drew in closer to each other with playful hits and tickles. “I’m pretty sure you were about two steps away from us having to call that Doctor Strange guy.” He laughed as he found just the right spot to tickle to get you to squirm.

“And what is that supposed to mean?!”

“It means you summon demons when you cook.” He scooped you up as you attempted to swat away his hands. “You gave Vision food poisoning and his stomach isn’t even real.” He added flinging you over his shoulder to take you to get some breakfast as you yelped playfully. “FRIDAY is there anywhere with reservations open I don’t care if I have to take the quinjet to get her there this girl deserves a nice dinner on Valentine’s Day.”

“What’s wrong with just going to McDonalds? No reservation required, there won’t be a hoard of cameras…” You suggested as you rested your arms on his back, your head in your hands, accepting your fate of being carried like a sack of potatoes...at least it was a great view from the back.

“I said GOOD meal.” He put extra emphasis on the word good.

“You know I’m going to pester you all day about this. It’s Valentine's day….aren’t you supposed to give me what I want?”

Bucky craned his neck to look at you draped behind him, arching a brow with a smirk. “Oh I know what you want,” his bionic arm swatted at your prominently displayed rear, “don’t worry Doll.” The tone he used told you that he wasn’t talking about the food. Your hair swirled shades of pink as your mind raced at what he was insinuating.

~ ~ ~ ~

“Oh look! We’re the happy meal toys!” Bucky chuckled as he pointed to the display of what toys were featured in the happy meals this month, blissfully unaware of the girls watching him with a more wanting eye than he was used to...You, of course noticed as you wrapped your fingers around his, displaying for all to see that he was yours.

“Oh I’m so getting one!” You giggled excitedly as you bounded over to the counter to order. “I want a cheeseburger happy meal with a large strawberry shake and an extra fry please.” You shot Bucky a triumphant smile as he ordered his number 1 with a coke and paid for the food. “I told you I’d get what I want.” You added as you prodded at his muscled shoulder.

“Yeah you’re a punk.” He hooked the arm around you, pulling you into a deep loving kiss. “But I-” He paused looking down into your eyes, losing the nerve to say what he wanted. “I’m with you to the end of the line Doll. Now come on, night’s not over yet.” With food firmly in hand he lead you through the lights of the city, letting them comfort you in the way only light could, leading you to a hotel overlooking Times Square.

~~~~

Bucky smiled triumphantly as he watched your eyes sparkle with wonder as you opened the door, nearly dropping the little paper bag of food. “How did...When did you have time to set all this up? We’ve been together all day.” You felt his arm wrap around your waist, pulling you in close to kiss your neck, nuzzling into it lovingly.

“Don’t worry about it Doll.” He whispered with a kiss to the back of your ear as he lead you inside, realizing he hadn’t planned passed this point once the door was closed.

You rushed over to the window, throwing back the curtains to take in the view of the city twinkling in the dark like stars. Not too far off you could see the bright glowing A of your home, only a short walk away but you couldn’t feel any further from it than you did now. “No FRIDAY, no Steve, no Tony.” as you spoke you set your dinner on the small table provided, pulling out the greasy food, “...goddamnit.”

Bucky’s eyes narrowed as he sat next to you, wrapping his metallic arm around you, knowing how much it comforts you. “What’s wrong Doll? Did they get your order wro-” You pulled out of the bag a small plastic Ironman toy as you held back laughter at the irony of it all. “Oh!” He tried his best not to laugh as well as he plucked the small toy from your hands. “Well Doll, you’ll have to eat before you can play with the toy.” He teased as he began to snack on his fries, not entirely sure if he really wanted the burger, but knew he should probably eat something.

Once the food was gone you picked up the cheap plastic toy, removing it from it’s wrapper with a sigh. “Why couldn’t they have given me the Bucky one? I’d love a little Bucky.”

“I can’t believe we were even in that little Avengers toy display!”

“Face it, ever since Detroit you’re down right popular! You should have seen the girls swooning over you while we were in line.” He raised a brow unable to believe anyone would swoon over him, not like this. Hell, he felt lucky you were even with him. “Those boys back at the tower aren’t the big dogs in the yard anymore.” He smiled, amazed that after all this time you were still able to make him blush. “I’m Tony Stark” You said, giving a bad Tony impression as you hopped the toy over to Bucky, moving it up his arm imitating the static plastic figurine walking, “and girls have crushes on you bigger than my ego.” You could feel the muscles of his arm twitch under his shirt as the toy moved over the inside of his elbow, a snort of a laugh being stifled telling you that it tickled….so he was ticklish!

“Let me see that.” He chuckled as he grabbed for the toy.

“Ahh! No!” You cried out playfully as you snatched it away from him. “I can’t be away from him! Who knows what kind of trouble he’d get into! Little Tony needs me!” You joked as Bucky’s fingers tickled at all the spots he’s found over the past few months to make you laugh and squirm. Turning to retaliate, tickling him in return, though he was less apt to squirm...something you blamed whole-heartedly on the serum that made him the super-soldier he was.

You both smiled brightly as you wrestled for the toy, giggling like kids until Bucky’s arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you in close for a long passionate and wonderfully distracting kiss that allowed him to pluck the toy from your fingers. “I think little Tony will be just fine without us for a while.” He whispered before tossing the plastic onto the table before lifting you up into another kiss, passion growing every passing moment as you lead each other to the bed for a night of slow soft loving passion without interruption from the rest of the team...for once.

[horsepriest]

I did this meme for Adelie on a whim and to link to her Refsheet page. There is hints towards spoilers for "The Moonlit Path" but none for "A Glimpse Beyond the Illusion."

There is some content warning of general malice and mentions of murder.

Elite Adelie

Basic stats:

Name: Elite Adelie

Gender/Pronouns: Agender she/her

Height: 8 ft with crown

Species: Other-Merged Hirudian Elite

Domain: The Firmament

Sexuality: Undefined

Romance: Undefined

Birthday: Dec. 12

Age: 260

Occupation: She is the Hirudian Elite that oversees all efforts outside of the sphere of Hirud and Light's Landing. Her wing of the military goes off-world to other planets to reap their resources. Her civilian forces mine the asteroid belts and guard them heavily. With her lab nestled in space rock, she is close enough to oversee the extraction processes. However, there is a large facility of hangars on Hirud that is incorporated into her domain. She occupies her time mostly with her experiments with the Other, sapient alien species, and her Liberated.

Weapons: Like all other Elites: innate control of the parasite in nearly every form. This includes her own, the metal plates that form the shell of her body can be molded into weapons she can control tele-empathically. She can, and does, use the Liberated parasite to force Liberated to fight for her- even if they don't want to.

Personality: Aloof, haughty, fickle. Adelie is the highest rank within the Great Hirudian Empire and she knows it. All other beings are below her, beasts or ooze. Adelie likes total control and will do whatever is needed to gain it (even ally with another Elite). Even her experiments are Liberated. She "loves" her experiments, like a person does with pets. This includes her Warlord Gresham. She has raised him from a kit. She indulged his worst impulses and encouraged him to follow through with them. She rewards him for his malice- in a way, she finds it cute.

OC Question Meme

1. How easy is it to make them angry? Do they show their anger or hide it? Extremely easy. Adelie likes everything to be exact to her mysterious specifications and she becomes irritated by anything that does not meet those specifications. Due to the immobility of her face and lack of vocal voice, it is difficult to see or hear her emotions, but it is easy to feel them due to her tele-empathy. She may kill you or take over your Liberation to do her bidding regardless. (In the case of Gresham, she loans him out to other Elites as she knows that is what hurts him most).

2. Do they believe in soulmates? Maybe she did, before becoming an Elite and essentially immortal. Her understanding of companionship has been twisted by her access to extreme power and merging with the Parasite. It has made her manipulative and view others as pawns, beasts, or ooze. Other influence has further twisted her view of the world causing her to lose touch with feelings. The closest thing she feels to “love” is akin to a human’s love for pets, including all the horrible aspects that crops up (breeding for specific traits for aesthetics/the hell of it to the detriment of the being’s health). Gresham is the perfect example of this.

3. Do they have any pet peeves? Disobedience. Disorderliness. Chaos. Anything that is outside of her expectations. While she is familiar with the drawbacks of many of her monsters (such as drool or blood in unsightly places), she prefers sterility. For Gresham, she just holds his jaw shut in her presence. Most others are stored in appropriately sized glass terrariums or aquariums for observation.

4. Do they have a happy place? Somewhere to go to in their heads when they need to relax? Adelie probably does not feel happiness in the same way a mortal could. Such a long life and access to such power and information leaves Elites numb to most emotions. She passively watches her newest experiments when she needs a distraction. She does this by passively accessing the Hirudian collective conscious to access the Parasite’s hivemind (not HiveMind) to watch through janitorial swarms.

5. At what stage of their life were they the happiest? Probably right before Ascension. The process requires being entirely in tune with one’s parasite and exerting one’s will beyond the parasite’s needs. It requires a lot of stubbornness and ambition—typically one ascends when they are at their most powerful, confident, and sure of themselves and thus, typically at their happiest.

6. At what stage of their life were they the least happy? Probably around when she realized that she required the starlight to live initially. Prior to infection, Hirudians are your typical organic-based organism, they don’t naturally require sunlight to function. It is a common frustration when becoming speakers to learn how to be purely diurnal and not require assistance with getting home before the star sets. It is a typical time of mourning of their lives that they have “lost” in the dawning of the new life they face (like many great shifts in life). Perhaps this is what spurred Adelie to become the Star Shunner? It is much easier to protect oneself from the light, than it is to require it.

7. At a bar/tavern/pub are they more likely to buy someone a drink, or have someone buy them a drink?

Adelie is more likely to buy someone else a drink. She cannot drink anymore and lacks a mouth. As for interplanetary negotiations, an expensive drink and hospitality goes a long way. Despite Adelie’s beliefs of her superiority, she knows you catch far, far, far more flies with honey. Or champagne.

8. Have they ever broken any bones? If yes, how?

Ascension is a bloody violent process where the mechanical form tears through the flesh then crushes the organic body under its metal weight. Deep in Adelie’s core, her organic body remains, crushed and unrecognizable by every means. Yet, it is still alive. It will still live long after her “ending” as well.

9. Do they have any memories/experiences they would rather forget? Not really. She does have the ability to remove harmful memories as needed. Also, her long life has numbed her to most of her memories and feelings.

10. What is their favourite memory from their childhood? Her long life has numbed her to most of her memories and feelings.

11. Do they have a “type” they are usually attracted to? Bestial, mutated, and as changed from their natural form as possible. She tends to pick larger specimens, breeding them into a much larger form if needed (usually artificially except for Vactyr).

12. Do they have any favourite possessions? Probably Gresham. He is her show pony, a prime example of her skill in bioengineering and in raising a horribly loyal war machine. He is a monstrous titan that is wrapped around the smallest finger of her smallest hand; he is utterly under her control under his own will—Liberation is just a cherry on top.

13. Do they have any tattoos? If no, would they ever consider getting one? At her present form, she is incapable of receiving tattoos. Not that she would want one anyways.

14. Do they have any piercings? If no, would they ever consider getting one? At her present form, she is incapable of having a piercing. Not that she would want one anyways.

15. What is their dream house like? They already live in it. An isolated asteroid containing all her active experiments and a handful of personal servants to assist her.

16. What is something about them that people would not expect just by looking at them? She is a lot more reactive emotionally than she looks, and her mind is a lot more active than she seems. Adelie is focused on her experiments far away while also handling matters requiring her attention.

17. How good are they at choosing gifts for others? In terms of impressing a potential business partner, she is exceptionally good at selecting things to do and give that feel extravagant and luxurious. However, for those she “cares” about, the gifts are not quite gifts. She will only give something that will benefit her. For instance, she rewards Gresham with the opportunity to torture others to his content for being a good Warlord.

18. Do they have a certain skill that they are particularly proud of? She can survive in the dark, unlike the rest of the infected Hirudians. She can somewhat controlthe Other, as much as one can at least. Her military wing is also running tightly and without direct need of her control; much unlike the crust, which is a mess and is out of control. (Adelie and Argiope have some tension between them)

19. How would a stranger they just met describe them? Intimidating, ethereal, alien. Interacting with an Elite is much like interacting with a biblical angel. Only, they are okay with you being afraid.

20. How would a close friend they have known for a long time describe them? Stuck up, aloof, perfectionist, a bitch, etc. The other Elites do not like her, but honestly, the Elites do not like each other overall.

21. Do they have any personal insecurities? Not really. She is comfortable in the fact that her minions will not revolt and issues in the home world do not bother her much at all.

22. What is their highest physical stat? (Strength, stamina, defense, speed, etc.) and their highest non-physical stat? (Intelligence, perception, charisma, luck, etc.)? Physical: Stamina. She is a machine infused with the mysteries of the universe- there is not anything that could stop her if she really wanted something. Non-physical: intelligence.

23. How would they react to finding out someone lied to them, even if it were for their own safety/well-being? She would get the truth out of you. Lying shows too much free will and that will not do.

24. Do they prefer cold weather or warm weather? Adelie does not really mind any temperature but keeps her lab cold.

25. How easy is it for them to say, “I love you”? Easy, too easy. It is as sincere as an abusive pet parent saying I love you to their pet though.

26. How easy is it for them to tell someone about their worries? Others would be able to feel her worries around her, there would not be really any question of what is bothering her. Adelie probably talks to herself in her lab.

27. Have they ever witnessed someone die? She has killed people in unique and messed up ways. So yes.

28. Are they ticklish? No.

29. How high/low is their pain tolerance? Exceedingly high. She is a machine at this point.

30. Is there something they secretly wish they could do but are too afraid to? Probably take a vacation. Adelie is a bit of an introvert and the Hirudian collective consciousness is probably low-key torture.

31. Are they a messy eater or a neat eater? Adelie is currently incapable of eating like an organic being. Mysteries of how Elites consume resources has not been determined yet, but Adelie is probably neat with the process.

32. What moment of their life made them feel most unloved? As she is so detached from every other being, Adelie probably does not feel very loved as is. Everything around her is either working against her or is a servant of hers. Not that she cares.

33. What moment of their made them feel most loved? If she paid attention, it would be in how Gresham adores her and cares for her. But she does not care.

34. Which of the senses would they hate to lose the most: vision, hearing, smell, taste, or touch? I have good authority to say that she will probably hate it when she loses pretty much everything.

35. Are they good at small talk? Adelie does not engage in small talk; she will steer such conversations back to important matters.

36. If they could ask anyone one question and get the absolute truth, who and what would they ask? She would ask the “powers that be” if her trust in the Other will betray her someday.

37. If they had the chance, would they prefer to travel to the past or to the future? If she knew what is in her future, she would go into the past.

38. Who had the biggest impact in their life, both positive and negative?

A mix of the parasite and the Other. She became an Elite due to the parasite and became more powerful through merging with the Other.

39. Would they rather life a life always surrounded by people, or always alone? Always alone.

40. Is there anyone or anything that immediately instills fear in them? There is a moment in the story she feels terror for the first time since she became an Elite—It’s when Gresham chooses to stay with her.

[rockhoochie]

No Apologies

(*Edit, previously titled “He Brings Me Sugar”)

Pairing: Dean/OFC

Warnings: Adult Content, Smut, Slow Burn, Somewhat Dubious Consent, Angst, Prescription Drug Abuse, Drinking, Knife play (very brief), Minor OC (sibling) Death, Language, Oral Sex (M/F receiving).

Summary: After losing her sister Anna to a demon, the Winchesters have taken Lexi under their wing. She studies and trains with them, tense friction quickly growing between her and Dean. When Sam and Castiel leave to take care of the demon that killed Anna without her, the levee of tension amidst Lexi and Dean breaks, flowing into something neither of them expected.

A/N: This is an edit of a fic I’ve posted previously. I meant to write a brief smutty one-shot and ended up developing the OFC a bit. Since the word count is 10K+, I decided to chapter it out. There may still be some errors, so please forgive me as I haven’t had this beta’d yet. Thank you for reading and as always, if you’d like to be tagged just send an ask!

**My work is not to be copied, altered, posted on other sites or otherwise used without my express written permission**

 Chapter 3

I had been living with Sam and Dean for about six months no, ever since my life had been turned completely and insanely upside down. Ever since my house had been burned down by a demon. Ever since that same demon had possessed my sister Anna and made her snap her own neck…

It had just been Anna and me. Our parents were gone, killed in a car accident almost two years ago. Anna had resolved to stay home with me after our parents’ funeral. They had left the house to us in their will – rather than try to deal with selling it, we moved in. Although sometimes painful, living in our childhood home again, surrounded by our parents’ possessions and essence was comforting in its own bittersweet way.

Sam had been only halfway through the exorcism when Anna was killed. Dean had been holding me from behind as I simply cried and screamed for my sister. I watched, helpless and confused and terrified as the demon glared me with eyes black as obsidian. It cackled with Anna’s voice, and unceremoniously twisted her head almost the whole way around. The demon left her then, in a thick black vine of smoke that reeked of sulfur, and making the most wretched squealing sound I had ever heard. Dean’s grip loosened on me as her body hit the floor. I had run over to Anna and held her, stroking her hair as my tears fell into her open, dead eyes, not caring that the flames licking the walls were gaining more and more strength. Sam had yelled repeatedly at Dean to get me out; Dean had to coax and scream and pry me away from my little sister. He had dragged me out of the burning house – literally kicking and screaming – as I watched Sam pour a copious amount of rock salt over Anna’s corpse.

Once Dean had gotten us a safe distance away and Sam had run out of the burning house, everything I had left in me vanished as I collapsed on the street. The brothers stayed with me the entire time, through the police and fireman interrogations, through the paramedic examination. The EMT’s kept telling me how lucky I was. I kept silently telling them to go fuck themselves.

Once the fire was out and Anna’s body had been wheeled away, all I could do was tremble, and repeatedly ask Sam and Dean what hell happened, what’s going on, what was that thing. They tried their best to calm me and explain. My head swam along with my tears as they told me that monsters were real, that they were hunters – the kind of hunters that kill the things that everyone else dismissed as fairy tales. They told me were demons real, angels were too, but God had left the building…and vampires and werewolves and even dragons absolutely existed outside of nightmares. At first, I thought they were insane, or that everything that had happened had caused me to go off the deep end.

They took me to their car, a black ’67 Impala, and showed me the contents of the trunk. Guns, knives, bullets, a goddamn machete. Dean reached for and opened a leather-bound journal, and flipping the pages slowly as I peered at them. They were full of hand drawn pictures of awful creatures, of handwritten information about each one – what is was, where it came from, and how to kill it.

Despite the obvious proof, I maintained the position that either I was losing my mind or they were certifiable lunatics.

Deep down I knew it was all true - nothing else could explain it. The weight of accepting that truth crushed anything that remained of my heart that night.

That demon had destroyed the only home and family had left. The only thing I was able to walk away with were the clothes on my back and the necklace I wore – a heart-shaped silver pendant with a single diamond embedded near the top, a single silver angel wing decorating the right side, and the words “Big Sister” engraved in simple print. Anna had one that matched – the only difference was the angel wing on the left side, and the engraved phrase “Little Sister”. We had found them in our mother’s closet, already wrapped in Christmas paper, tucked away amongst other gifts and boxes. Mom had always called us her angels on earth.

One of the EMTs had slipped Anna’s necklace into my hand. I slid the pendant off the chain, and joined it with my own. I silently promised my sister retribution. Whatever it took, wherever I had to go, I was going to destroy the thing that murdered her or die trying.

When Sam asked me if I had someone to call or someone I could stay with, I had shaken my head ‘no’. I had some friends out of state I could’ve called, but I couldn’t even bring myself to consider leaving. I needed answers about what had happened to Anna, and I was hellbent on revenge. I had told them I’d get a hotel for now, but Sam said he didn’t feel comfortable just leaving me alone. That demon was still out there somewhere, and chances were it was going to come after me.

That night they brought me to the bunker.

I sat at the library table in silence, watching Dean unpack his gear while Sam got a room ready for me.

“Hey,” Dean had said, “When’s the last time you ate anything?”

“Not hungry,” I mumbled.

“Not what I asked you.”

“I don’t know, sometime yesterday…”

Dean walked into the kitchen, leaving me to stare at the strange arsenal he had laid out in front of me - a sawed-off shotgun, several knives, bloody clothes and flasks – either full of holy water or whiskey.

He returned with a small plate and a fork, setting a piece of cherry pie in front of me.

“I’d rather have a drink,” I mumbled.

“Pie first.”

I cut a small piece, forcing myself to take one small bite after another until I finished it, trying to at least find some comfort in its sweetness. I licked the last of the thick filling off of my fork, and ran my finger along the sides of my lips to clean off any trace that may have remained.

When I looked up, I found Dean staring at me, his lips parted, his green eyes fixed on me.

“What is it?” I asked. “Is there some on my face?”

He blinked with a slight shake of his head and leaned back in his chair.

“No,” he said. “I just…I’m sorry for everything you went through tonight. I know how it is to lose family, and…”

“Thanks,” I whispered.

“Here,” he said, handing me a silver flask. “You can have that drink now”.

***

I had stayed in my room for three days after I got there, only leaving to use the bathroom. For the most part, Sam and Dean gave me my space. Sam would knock twice a day, come in and bring me food. Sometimes we would make small talk. Sometimes we would just sit there in silence, until he would put a movie on for me. He’d hold me while I cried, listen calmly when I screamed.

Dean had been present, but had kept himself fairly distant. On the morning of my third day at the bunker, I woke to find a pint of Jack Daniels and slice of cherry pie on my night stand. I knew that was from him. As great as Sam was about being attentive to my emotions, Dean knew what I didn’t know I really needed – sugar and booze. I washed down the pie with the whiskey, and spent the rest of the day getting blissfully drunk while watching old western movies.

On the fourth day, I finally came out of my room with a staggering hangover. That was the day I met Castiel, and experienced the glorious magic that was angelic healing. Cas had simply touched two fingers to my forehead, erasing the lingering physical pain I had from the night Anna died, healing the cuts and bruises covering my body. Even my hangover was gone. It was also the day I asked Sam and Dean to teach me everything they knew.

Sam read through lore and research with me, quizzing me on what the most common creatures were and how to kill them. He showed me the best places to look for the rare, odd things, and told me to who to call if I got stuck on something. I studied symbols, warding, summoning spells and credit card fraud. Sam was patient and warmhearted while he taught me, leading me to correct my own wrong answers and guiding me step-by-step as I practiced sketching Devil’s Traps. Sam quickly became like a big brother to me – that was the reason I picked him to take me to get the anti-possession tattoo on the back of my neck.

Dean led me in the more hands-on aspects of hunting. He taught me how to handle the guns, how to clean them, how to put them back together. He showed me the different bullets, the rock salt shells and the witch killers. He gave me a hunting knife, a lock-pick kit, and finally my own Glock.

We also spent time sparring, practicing hand to hand fighting. He never held back with me, saying that if I was going to have his or his little brother’s six, I’d better damn well know how to fight.

Dean was tough on me, critical, demanding perfection from everything he was trying to teach me. It only took about two weeks before started grating on each other. The more comfortable I got around him, the more he learned that not only could I take it, but I could dish it right back to him. That seemed to piss him off, and I found myself secretly enjoying it.

One particular day in the shooting range we really had it out. I was holding my Glock, trying to aim at the target and he would just not shut up. My stance was wrong, I wasn’t holding the gun the right way, what did I think this was, the goddamn movies? I finally cracked that day, screaming at him to get the fuck out of my face and back the hell off. I had stormed off, hiding myself in an archive room for the next several hours. When I finally returned to my room, there was a pint of Jack Daniels and a slice of pie sitting on my nightstand. By that time, I had learned how high pie was on Dean’s list of priorities. So, with a smile, I took the gesture as an apology and forgave him.

After a couple of months, I went out on some simple hunts with them – a spirit here, a poltergeist there. Sam was proud of me. Dean was impressed. I wanted to do more. Despite my insistence and protestations, they left me behind on the more difficult hunts - vampire nests, werewolf packs, things that hunted in twos, or anything demon-related.

Whenever they left me behind, I resigned myself to trying to track down the demon that killed Anna. I looked for patterns, strange sightings, any hint that the thing was still around. Sam and Dean tortured any demon they came across to get information before destroying or exoring them. Not one of them knew anything, or if they did, they weren’t talking. Dean had even summoned Crowley to interrogate him. After Crowley spent an eternity talking in circles and flirting with me, he insisted he knew nothing about my sister, or which one of his minions may have killed her. He did however, offer to make finding it out for me his top priority in exchange for my soul. Dean had cursed at him for that, charging at him with Ruby’s knife. Crowley vanished with a snap of his fingers before Dean could even get close to him.

I kept hunting, kept researching, kept hoping. I made it extremely clear to Sam and Dean that I was going to be the one to destroy that demon once it dared to show up again. They never protested, but never seemed too thrilled with the idea either.

It was comforting knowing I had people who had my back – hell, it was comforting to know that an actual angel had my back. Any time they left and hunted without me it filled me with dread. The Winchesters were the best at what they did, but if anything ever happened to them I’d be lost. I couldn’t imagine life without Sam, the brother I never had. I couldn’t even imagine life without Dean…the Dean I never had.

[sozotohakai]

Tagged in by @thenoahfamily

Rules: Answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people:  @torntruth @ask-cross-marian @pandemicnight @noahwisdom @darkfeathered @solstellarianallen and anyone else, if you want to of course~

last

1. drink - Cola and water

2. phone call - my brother

3. text message - my brother

4. song you listened to - had a few on shuffle (Re:make from ONE OK ROCK, Strike Back opening of Fairy Tail, Kaze no Uta from FLOW, Funkist Shine opening of Tales of the Heroes Twin Brave, and three of MAD, Preserved Rose, Crest of Z, and Identity). Fun fact: they’re all from my Tales of playlist (which is a playlist of Tales amv).

5. time you cried - Last week, when we watched the Anita ship sinking scene in DGM

ever

7. kissed someone and regretted it - Kind of? didn’t really feel like a kiss, more like a puppy licking, but I did regret inviting the guy over. Lesson learned that day: two glasses of alcohol are already enough to do things you wouldn’t do sober.

8. been cheated on - No, unless I never leaned the one boyfriend i had for a short time did have someone else.

9. lost someone special - My very special ones are still there, but I did lose people I care for.

10. been depressed - I believe so, never very deep, though it was deep in my last year of college.

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - Never been drunk enough for that

fave colours

12. Blue

13. Green

14. Gold

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends - Oh yes~

16. fallen out of love - Nope

17. laughed until you cried - Oh yes

18. found out someone was talking about you - in good ways yes

19. met someone who changed you - I’d say yes

20. found out who your friends are - I would say yes

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - Nah

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - Almost all of them, I use it only to add offline people I know. Which would be 10 or so? But beside mom and bro, and three friends of mom and I, I don’t have contact anymore.

23. do you have any pets - No, but at my bro’s home, there’s a cat, Grisou.

24. do you want to change your name - Not really, I mean my surname yes, I want only my mom’s one.

25. what did you do for your last birthday - Oh boy I can’t recall

26. what time did you wake up today - I think it was 10 am

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - Sleeping

28. what is something you can’t wait for - New DGM chapters, mom’s retirement finalizing. Patient about but still can’t wait, writing more of my second novel, next time we’re eating out at our fave restaurant.

30. what are you listening to right now - Nothing

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - Dont think so

32. something that’s getting on your nerves - Knowing when people are bothering my friends

33. most visited website - Tumblr, youtube.

34. hair colour - dark brown

35. long or short hair - Short, neck length

36. do you have a crush on someone - On a waiter at our fave restaurant >> and also on an online friend which I cant figure out if its platonic or not.

37. what do you like about yourself - Being silly, my personality, my haircuts when I get it done as I want, my eyes.

38. want any piercings? - No

39. blood type - I think its O

40. nicknames - Chris, Silly, Queen of Feels

41. relationship status - Single

42. zodiac -Cancer

43. pronouns - They/them and she/her

44. fave tv shows - DGM, Natsume Yujjinshou, BBC Merlin, The Voice (France).

45. tattoos - None but sometimes I’m tempted. Would be either dragon(s), wolf(ves) or fox(es). or wing(s).

46. right or left handed - Right handed, though apparently the weird thing is that use the knife with my left one (apparently you tend to use your dominant hand?)

47. ever had surgery - No

48. piercings - None

49. sport - None, though I do walk a lot

50. vacation - Visiting Ti, visiting online friends, touring UK and Ireland, visiting Japan.

51. trainers - I favor boots. If that’s the question.

more general

52. eating - I love to eat a few different food so its varied.

53. drinking - Cola, tea and water

54. i’m about to watch - Nothing tonight, or maybe check Markiplier channel

55. waiting for - finish this and read, also energy to write again

56. want - To write for threads and fanfics and my novel.

57. get married - Neutral about it? It feels like something I can only know if it’s a shared wish with a partner.

58. career - Writer

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - Hugs

60. lips or eyes - Eyes

61. shorter or taller - Taller

62. older or younger - Around my age (not too younger or older, though older works better than younger)

63. nice arms or stomach - Both? Arms?

64. hookup or relationship - Relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant - A bit of both

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger - Not total stranger, kissed someone I only knew for a few hours yes

67. drank hard liquor - Dont think so, but maybe a bit at my friend’s restaurant

68. lost glasses - Dont have glasses

69. turned someone down - Yes

70. sex on first date - 99% no, 1% for super rare case

71. broken someones heart - I’m not sure, I dont know it, if I did

72. had your heart broken - Yeah

73. been arrested - No

74. cried when someone died - Yeah

75. fallen for a friend - Yes

do you believe in

76. yourself - Yep

77. miracles - Yes

78. love at first sight - Experienced it, but that’s why I’ll say it’s more like, instant want to date, but not love-love.

79. santa claus - When I was little. Now I kind of think, Santa is everyone.

80. kiss on a first date - I do think it can happen

81. angels - Yes

other

82. best/closest friends names - Ti, Chelle, Sommer, Brandon, Sparky, Allen.

83. eye color - Brown

84. fave movie - Godzilla (1998, 2014, and the 2017/2018 animated one). Though I love a few movies.

85. fave actor - Colin Morgan

[sinto-hell]

masterpost of shitty headcanon about the boys, by yours truly

castiel

not over mcr breaking up

literally his reaction if he hears the g note

tries to keep up with his hair but most often than not, he’ll have 1 inch of his root showing before he finally get his shit together and do it

he and lys probably dye each other’s hair

iris is one of his childhood friend. they drifted appart over the years, but are still somewhat close

actually short. like. 5′7″. nath never said anything about it, but GOD THE TWINS NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT IT

short angry punk

has a couple of piercings on his ears

probably dyed his hair red because of gerard way

listen to a lot of 90s and early 2000s punk rock music

he’s vegetarian

get high with armin sometimes

tired kind of drunk

probably was an overachieving child and now he’s just?? well fuck (i relate tbh)

pansexual

probably has insomnia

nathaniel

i don’t have that many hc about him really

he never said anything about being taller than cas, but always found it funny

owns more scarves than lysander and the twins put together event tho he never wear them??

read lotr 3 times

i can see him getting really into sherlock, to the point of almost getting angry at it

probably once read an entire book in one night

he’ll never get used to white waking him up by sitting on his face. literally.

left handed

struggled a lot in school when he was younger

listen to a lot of indie music and soundtrack from movies and games (that one is armin’s fault, the boy got him into assassin’s creed and he loved the music so much also history)

despite was everyone think, amber is the older twin. but he’s still rlly protective of her 

fall asleep on his couch a lot

bisexual

lysander

i dont have that many headcanon about him too why am i doing this again

tall n lanky, he hit his growth spurt really late and is still getting used to being tall. this put in with his general lunatic air, he hit his head everywhere 

with his brother intriducing him to victorian inspired fashion, he really got into steam punk and love the aesthetic

loves reading dystopian novel for some reason?

has 4372729 notebooks, always loses them and find them in unsual places even in the house, like in a plant or a kitchen cupboard

brendon urie type of musician. put a guitar in his hands, he’ll play it. give him a violin, he’ll play it. show him a piano, he’ll play it. really. any instrument. also sing?? maybe he’s cursed with talent

once bought a bunny on impulse

has another tattoo beside his angel wings. its a bunny. cas was with him when he got it.

once found violette sketchbook, while she found her notebook. when they both got their things back, they just looked at eachother like “artist, right?”

wears turtle neck and oversized cardigans

demisexual

kentin

gdi do i only have hc for cas and the twins??? 

also constantly teased by the twins bc he’s short

well thats canon

is actually a really good cook

at one point he gets tired of his contact lenses and go get himself some square glasses. and god, is he pretty with them.

only listen to like. indie soft music. like. daughter and bon iver and artist he found on bandcamp. 

has a classic rock playlist for when he work out

???

has a teeny tiny crush on alexy but would never actually admit it so he brush it aside

armin

now that’s my boy

he’s a stoner don’t even try

for their birthday alexy got him a pack of like 6 beanies because he was tired of always seeing armin with his hair a mess

voltron nerd

probably broke both of his arms twice when he was a kid

fluent in spanish as his mom spoke his frequently when he and alexy where kids

probably wear shit like this

the only sport he’s kind of good at is skateboarding

iris calls him sk8ter boi

unironically listen to vaporwave, probably love placebo 

make lots of dirty jokes but is actually demisexual

panromantic

probably eats cereal straight out of the box

“i’m so many levels deep into irony i forgot what humor is” (thanks ddadds)

has a lot of internet friends

he’s always so fucking tired because his sleep schedule is Fucked

REALLY LOVE RUBBING IT IN CASTIEL’S FACE THAT HE’S TALLER THAN HIM

alexy bc i love him

this boy is the sweetest but fuck don’t make him angry because he’s going to punch you and won’t even regret it

like once he was angry and castiel was in the way, kinda mocking him and he hits him square in the jaw. castiel was never seen in alexy’s way when he was angry after that

had a bf before they moved schools

got bullied at school when he first came out

dyed his hair blue for the first time just before moving

got his tongue pierced

also fluent in spanish

whenever he notice the root of his hair starts showing, he steals one of the beanie he gave armin and wear it until he can re-dye it

also listen to vaporwave and a lot of lo-fi music. queer musician are his jam. love pvris

has abandonment issues

doesn’t actually know how to flirt, he just does something and hope it works

honestly he doesn’t even need to, he’s already the sweetest

i honestly don’t even know why i made these but i guess that’s my contribution to the fandom: shitpost.

[kgriffin37]

David sang this song to the Lord on the day the Lord rescued him from all his enemies and from Saul.

He sang:

"The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection.

He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety.

He is my refuge, my savior, the one who saves me from violence.

I called on the Lord , who is worthy of praise, and he saved me from my enemies.

“The waves of death overwhelmed me; floods of destruction swept over me.

The grave wrapped its ropes around me; death laid a trap in my path.

But in my distress I cried out to the Lord; yes, I cried to my God for help.

He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry reached his ears.

“Then the earth quaked and trembled.

The foundations of the heavens shook; they quaked because of his anger.

Smoke poured from his nostrils; fierce flames leaped from his mouth.

Glowing coals blazed forth from him.

He opened the heavens and came down; dark storm clouds were beneath his feet.

Mounted on a mighty angelic being, he flew, soaring on the wings of the wind.

He shrouded himself in darkness, veiling his approach with dense rain clouds.

A great brightness shone around him, and burning coals blazed forth.

The Lord thundered from heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded.

He shot arrows and scattered his enemies; his lightning flashed, and they were confused.

Then at the command of the Lord, at the blast of his breath, the bottom of the sea could be seen, and the foundations of the earth were laid bare.

“He reached down from heaven and rescued me; he drew me out of deep waters.

He rescued me from my powerful enemies, from those who hated me and were too strong for me.

They attacked me at a moment when I was in distress, but the Lord supported me.

He led me to a place of safety; he rescued me because he delights in me.

The Lord rewarded me for doing right; he restored me because of my innocence.

For I have kept the ways of the Lord; I have not turned from my God to follow evil.

I have followed all his regulations; I have never abandoned his decrees.

I am blameless before God; I have kept myself from sin.

The Lord rewarded me for doing right.

He has seen my innocence.

“To the faithful you show yourself faithful; to those with integrity you show integrity.

To the pure you show yourself pure, but to the crooked you show yourself shrewd.

You rescue the humble, but your eyes watch the proud and humiliate them.

O Lord, you are my lamp.

The Lord lights up my darkness.

In your strength I can crush an army; with my God I can scale any wall.

“God’s way is perfect.

All the Lord’s promises prove true.

He is a shield for all who look to him for protection.

For who is God except the Lord?

Who but our God is a solid rock?

God is my strong fortress, and he makes my way perfect.

He makes me as surefooted as a deer, enabling me to stand on mountain heights.

He trains my hands for battle; he strengthens my arm to draw a bronze bow.

You have given me your shield of victory; your help has made me great.

You have made a wide path for my feet to keep them from slipping.

“I chased my enemies and destroyed them; I did not stop until they were conquered.

I consumed them; I struck them down so they did not get up; they fell beneath my feet.

You have armed me with strength for the battle; you have subdued my enemies under my feet.

You placed my foot on their necks. I have destroyed all who hated me.

They looked for help, but no one came to their rescue.

They even cried to the Lord, but he refused to answer.

I ground them as fine as the dust of the earth; I trampled them in the gutter like dirt.

"You gave me victory over my accusers.

You preserved me as the ruler over nations; people I don’t even know now serve me.

Foreign nations cringe before me; as soon as they hear of me, they submit.

They all lose their courage and come trembling from their strongholds.

“The Lord lives!

Praise to my Rock!

May God, the Rock of my salvation, be exalted!

He is the God who pays back those who harm me; he brings down the nations under me and delivers me from my enemies.

You hold me safe beyond the reach of my enemies; you save me from violent opponents.

For this, O Lord, I will praise you among the nations; I will sing praises to your name.

You give great victories to your king; you show unfailing love to your anointed, to David and all his descendants forever.”

2 Samuel 22:1‭-‬51 NLT

https://bible.com/bible/116/2sa.22.1-51.NLT

[thedeadflag]

So I was bored last night while my parents watched NCIS over and over, so I wrote a ficlet in the vein of that Clexa one I wrote a ways back? With the party and Lexa waking up to a snuggle-happy Clarke?

Raven/Anya this time around, slightly different dynamic. Blame my boredom if it’s eh, it’s hard to feel creative when NCIS is on in the background

It was one of the things I dabbled in during my time away, hope you can get some enjoyment out of this

There were at least three major things Raven loved about summer break. The first being the obvious, that she’d have a major reprieve from worrying about exams, because damn. The second being that end-of-year parties were fantastic almost as a rule. The third was that she’d get to leave her shitty tiny dorm bed behind in favor of actual beds, even if they weren't always hers. Not that she’d ever been one to sleep in, but a good bed made for a good sleep regardless of the hours, and sometimes regardless of extenuating circumstances like hangovers.

So when she woke up Saturday morning in a very comfy bed, in comfy sheets, feeling cozy and warm, and nursing a much more forgiving hangover than she’d expected given how she’d blacked out the previous night, well, all she could do was thank god for summer break and give herself a stretch.

Or, well, she tried to, at least, her left side managing the feat just fine. It took her a moment to realize that the unusual warmth she felt was from the body latched onto her right side.

It was a little tough to say who it was, given the woman had promptly buried her face in Raven’s neck after her attempt to stretch, apparently not a fan of Raven moving around at ten after seven in the morning. However, the blonde hair narrowed it down, and a peek under the covers revealed a tattoo that left Raven both curious and confused.

Lexa’s older sister Anya showed up at a few of their group’s parties each year, and was generally decent enough but a little cool, a little thorny at times when she wasn’t around Lexa or Clarke. Not that Raven minded much, or that it did anything to quell the longstanding crush she’d had on Anya from afar for the last few years.

Of course, Anya also didn’t drink much, so it left Raven wondering why and how they ended up in a bed together. Partially dressed, sure, but still.

As tempting as it was to stay put, Raven really didn’t want to face the rejection or destruction of her fantasies, and her empty stomach was quickly making its demands known, so she began trying to carefully disentangle herself from Anya. ‘Try’ being the key word, with how tightly her bedmate held her in place.

“Mmmh...honey, stop it. Tryin’ to sleep.” Anya grumbled, nose nuzzling into the crook of Raven’s neck.

Raven had never really been one to revel in morning afters, or to put much thought into how potential partners might feel come dawn. Usually, she left long before anyone woke up, but apparently she’d met her match in Anya, the living bear trap, who insisted she stick around.

Normally, she’d be put off, considering it needy, but the gravelly rumble of Anya’s voice and the ensuing pet name had been more endearing than anything.

“Don’t you usually wake up early?” Raven asked, letting out a sharp puff of air through her nose.

“Seven. But when I drink, eight...maybe eight-thirty.” Anya answered, and maybe Raven couldn’t keep from laughing at the woman’s idea of sleeping in. Maybe Anya gave her a light jab to the ribs. “Stop it. Lemme sleep.”

“Were you this feisty last night?” Raven asked, giving another try at leaving Anya’s grasp, not really making any progress the second time around, either.

Anya huffed and slung a leg over her hips. “You don’t remember? Of course you don’t.”

The strange disappointment in Anya’s voice had Raven sinking back down onto the bed completely. “Why, what’d I do?”

“Oh, nothing special. You spilled your tequila on me, then immediately vomited on me.  Very charming, I assure you.” Raven felt a deep sinking feeling in her stomach at the thought. Usually when she drank too much, she ended up fine, but vomiting on Anya was a whole other level of fucked.

“I am so sorry, Anya.” Thankfully, her bedmate let out a hum of approval and snuggled closer.

“Which you told me repeatedly last night. I do appreciate it, though you were much sweeter last night. And you were much more intent on assuring my comfort.” Anya added, following her words with a lengthy yawn. “Kept telling me to sleep in bed with you, so you could keep me warm. So let your ‘angel’ sleep.”

That word had a few shreds of memories filling her mind. Coming down the stairs and spilling her drink on Anya. Vomiting and losing her footing, falling onto Anya. Being caught by Anya. Apologizing profusely, tearfully. Anya getting her safely into the shower, holding her hair at the toilet, helping her to bed. Raven thinking the woman was an angel for putting up with it all, for her patience, her kindness. Apparently, there was a chance that she made a habit last night of calling Anya that last night.

While she couldn’t remember it, Anya had clearly settled in with her for the night, so she must have done something right.

Raven shook her head, thinking maybe she was more charming than she already thought. “God, way to play hardball. But I guess I deserve that.”

“Mmmhm, you do. You also deserve to be my pillow for the next hour.” For all the snark, Raven was pretty sure she really did owe Anya.

But she didn’t have to play along entirely. She would be Anya’s pillow, sure. But past that, bets were off.

“Nnnnnnnnnnninety-nine bottle of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of beeeer...”

The hands gripping her body suddenly shifted, fingernails pressing sharply into her body through her thin tee. “Raven, I will end you if you continue that.”

“Okay, okay. Just trying to find something to do while you sleep.” She answered, her words thankfully granting her momentary relief. Apparently annoying Anya awake was out of the question. “Foooood. Food food food. What to eat for breakfast...” She added in a slightly loud whisper a few moments afterward.

“I can still hear you.” This time, the claws didn’t come out, but Raven did feel a little lighter on oxygen from how tight Anya clutched her.

“It’s just I’m awake and I’m hungry.”

“Keep it to yourself.”

“I think better out loud.”

“And I sleep better when no one’s talking right into my ears.”

“I can’t help it, I’m hungry!”

“Deal with it.”

Raven peered at the door with great yearning as her stomach rumbled. Usually, it only took her a half hour at most after waking before she was eating something. Her poor body wasn’t used to this, especially after puking everything out the previous night. She was used to breakfast, and getting things done. It was cruel and unusual punishment, probably.

Which she could handle, sure, but she didn’t really want to. She wanted her cake and to eat it. So maybe if vinegar hadn’t worked, then honey would.

It took her a few minutes to pull that song from Back to the Future from her memory banks, long enough for her to think maybe Anya was close to falling back asleep again and securing her fate.

She could only hope her final gambit would work.

“Earth angel, earth angel...will you be mine...” Raven made sure not to be loud, but still audible, knowing Anya wouldn’t appreciate anything that would be too harsh in contrast to the silence she preferred. Certainly singing would be a distraction, but hopefully one that could convince Anya to let her wake up and maybe return with food for them both, or return to be her pillow, or whatever.

Any result where she could eat and keep Anya company would be fine in her books.

As she proceeded through the song, she felt a tiny bit more anxious, seconds turning to more than a minute without any physical or verbal response. With one last bit left, her brain was too busy thinking of another strategy to register the body moving in her arms until Anya was hovering over her, a finger pressed to Raven's lips.

The rest of the song died in her throat as she looked up in anticipation, hoping Anya would offer her one more shred of mercy.

“My darling dear...I need you to be quiet. If I promise to let you up so you can get something to eat, will you promise to come back here?” Raven nodded hastily at the offer, not wanting to hesitate and have Anya take it off the table. “Fine. But I get to sleep as long as I like, then, and not just until eight.”

Anya deflated at the assertion, feeling trapped between a rock and a hard place. “What? Come on. Please?”

“No.” Anya shook her head, staring intensely down at her. “This is how it’s going to go, since you’ve nearly sabotaged my sleep. I’m going to let you have breakfast. You’re going to be my pillow for as long as I need you, and because you owe me, you’re going to opt out of the lunch trip to Rizzo’s and stay behind with me to check on the smoked meats for dinner.”

Raven’s jaw set to the side, knowing she really did owe Anya, but she loved Rizzo’s. They had the best wings. “But that takes, like, all of fifteen minutes.”

“Buying us enough time to have lunch...” Anya started as she got up to her knees and moved up to Raven’s head. And maybe she felt a deep hunger for what laid in wait behind Anya’s panties, her musk reaching her nose from the brief distance. “...and to serve you some dessert.”

Maybe the line was tacky as hell, but Raven couldn’t laugh, not when something other than food had leapfrogged everything else to the top of her daily to-do list. Hell, she couldn’t stop staring. “Is it finger-licking good?”

The smack upside her head had Raven thinking that maybe she just should have agreed instead of pushing the envelope. “Did you seriously compare me to KFC? The fuck...”

“I totally didn’t even mean it that way.”

“Why do I even like you?”

“Okay, I’m a total catch. I’m technically a genius...”

“...and practically a mindless menace that hates sleep...”

“...I graduated undergrad from MIT at nineteen, and I don’t hate sleep!”

“You hate me getting sleep. That’s the only explanation.”

Raven let out a huff and brought her hands to Anya’s hips. “I’m sorry, angel...can I take the deal?” She peered up at Anya with her best puppy dog eyes, not wanting to fuck up a good thing. She always managed to toss out some throwaway remark that soured things between her and others she’d been interested in over the years. Missing out on Anya over an absurd one-liner would be a travesty.

The four seconds before Anya sat down on her chest felt like an eternity, and she wanted Anya to not feel as defeated as her sigh made her out to be, but Raven felt hopeful it’d work out.

“You’d owe me even more.” Anya noted shaking her head. “I’m too awake now. I won’t be able to fall asleep again.”

“We can nap in the afternoon, as long as you want, Anya. Wherever you want.” Her promise had Anya glancing over her shoulder at the doorway.  

“Even on that oversized recliner in the living room? You know Octavia would be pissed.” It was true, given Octavia always claimed that bit of furniture for herself and Lincoln. Still, it was worth the effort.

Raven brought a hand over to knit with one of Anya’s, leaving the other to gently rub at her bedmate’s hip. “Wherever you want. O can deal with it. If you want to snuggle in the big chair with me, it’s gonna happen. I’m Raven Reyes, I can do anything.”

With a sigh, Anya shuffled backward enough to pull Raven up into a seated position. “And what else?”

The challenge was an easy one, especially given her longstanding crush on the woman. “I’ll make you breakfast and handle the clean-up while you read. I’ll give you a foot massage. I’ll be very, very dedicated when lunch-time comes around.” She offered before leaning forward and pulling Anya into a kiss, thumb stroking her crush’s cheek as she channeled all of her yearning and desire into Anya, needing her to know that this wasn’t a joke to her, that this wasn’t a weekend fling if Anya didn’t want it to be. “And I will be so happy to make it all up to you, angel. With interest.”

Anya’s gaze flickered between her eyes, hot breath washing against Raven’s lips. “I like the sound of interest.” Anya dipped forward for a quick fluttering pair of kisses. “And you’re sleeping in my room tonight.”

“Wouldn’t want it any other way.” She added, running a hand through Anya’s messy blonde waves. She’d never really been one for blondes in the past, but Anya pulled off the bottle blonde look damn well.

Anya leaned up slightly, pressing her lips to Raven’s nose. “Fine. Now go make breakfast, I’m hungry.”

"Comin' right up!" Raven cheered as Anya freed her, letting her hop out of bed and jog out to the kitchen, knowing no one else would be awake for hours.

With a whole morning ahead of her, and maybe the shot at escalating things between her and Anya, Raven was only more convinced that summer break was the goddamn best thing.