#anne dreams of her childhood

[dyns33]

Symbiosis

I missed Eddie x reader with silly Venom being in the way. Can't wait to see what they'll do in the next movie.

From the beginning of their relationship, Y/N had noticed that there was something different with Eddie.

She might have thought that it was because he was somewhat famous that he behaved eccentrically, sometimes talking to himself and seeming very agitated for no reason.

Without ever really bringing up these oddities, Eddie had been very honest with her about a lot of things. His childhood, his dreams, his ex-girlfriend, the loss of his job before becoming a journalism star again, his little problems with cleanliness.

"I mean, I'm a very clean person… Normally. All the time ! I wash twice a day, I take care of my teeth, I don't like living in filth but... Sometimes I'm not at home for a long time, and I'm totally focused on my job, and the stress… So, if I can seem a little dirty and messy, I'm sorry, I will never ask you to clean up for me and you can tell me that I stink by patting me on the back of the head. Yes, on the back of the head, I deserve it." Eddie muttered at the end of his sentence, looking to the side as if he were talking to someone else.

"I don't think you're dirty. You sweat a little sometimes, but that's natural."

“You’re saying that because you haven’t seen my apartment yet.”

“Does that mean you want to invite me to your apartment ?” Y/N asked, smiling shyly.

"Of course ! No, you don't… Of course, Y/N, I've been wanting to for a long time."

The presence of chickens was a little surprising, and it was true that the apartment was not in very good condition, but it was a bit like her idea of a bachelor pad, and it was quite reassuring to think that Eddie didn't often bring women home.

It meant something important to him, a sign of trust.

But that certainly wasn't the greatest evidence. No, this evidence took a little longer to emerge from the shadows, or from Eddie's shoulder, after a month of relationship.

Precisely the day he couldn't hold back the first "I love you."

The spontaneous, charming statement came in the middle of the small talk, and Y/N felt very happy, ready to respond that she loved him too.

It was then that the thing appeared between them, looking furious, showing its large teeth.

"No ! Eddie, no, you can't do that !"

“Oh, God, what is that ?!”

"Vee ! Vee, you promised me, man ! You're going to scare her ! And you have no right to interfere in my love affairs, go back inside ! Y/N, sorry, I'm really sorry, I’ll explain !”

“I have the right to give my opinion !” the creature replied, turning to Eddie. "You're ashamed of me, of us ! Anne accepted us ! Anne likes us ! If your new little darling doesn't accept us, then she's not good enough !"

“Anne didn’t really have a choice and we weren’t together anymore, stop talking about her all the time !”

After more or less managing to calm down the "non-parasite" that lived inside him, Eddie did his best to calm down Y/N, who was totally freaked out by what had just happened. He explained to her that Venom was an alien, a symbiote, who needed him to survive, who had helped him on numerous occasions, and who was not dangerous.

"I'm very dangerous ! I'm the lethal protector !"

"What does he mean ?"

"Nothing ! Well, he likes to fight crime, he's dangerous to the bad guys. You have absolutely nothing to fear, I promise. I… I'm so sorry."

Eddie then began to sob, despite all the comfort that Vee tried to give him by telling him that only losers cried like children and that he was pathetic to moan like that, putting them to serious shame.

Even though she was still scared, Y/N couldn't help but hug her boyfriend, trying her best not to touch the alien. She repeated to him that everything was fine, that it wasn't his fault, and that even though this situation was strange, she still wanted to be with him.

This seemed to reassure him, and make him very happy.

Unfortunately, there were three of them in this relationship, and Venom clearly didn't want to be with Y/N at all.

It was him that Eddie had been mumbling to since they met, often arguing about her, as the alien kept comparing her to Anne, his ex girlfriend.

Without any sign of lying in his eyes, he promised her that he hadn't been in love with her for a long time. Their breakup had been difficult, but she had found someone very quickly, Dan, a great guy, and they were married now, and Eddie was very happy for them.

Well, that wasn't easy to believe with Venom growling and hitting his host's head at the end of every sentence, insulting Dan and repeating how great Anne was.

But Eddie seemed really honest. He was friends with his ex, nothing more, and he wanted to be with Y/N now, even if his idiot parasite didn't agree.

He wasn't an optimist by nature, too much had happened to him in life for him to believe in miracles, but Eddie wanted to believe that Vee would come to appreciate her.

He was quite confident as Y/N was doing her best with the symbiote, trying to talk to him, offering him chocolate, keeping an open mind. Many people would have fled the moment they saw this thing coming out of his body. It was quite a good sign.

But like a wild animal, Venom refused to be coaxed. He wanted Anne, Anne was perfect. Nothing would change his mind. Nothing.

"He hates me." Y/N whispered sadly, even though she knew it was useless, because Venom was always with Eddie, even when she couldn't see him. None of their conversation was private.

"Hate is a strong word… He's stubborn, he believes he's right. It's not really against you. If I had always been single, I think he would adore you."

Eddie thought it would be a good idea to introduce her to Anne. In a sense he was right, because it was evident that there was no longer any romantic feeling between them, and that she was very much in love with her husband.

But Y/N couldn't help but do like Venom, and compare herself to the other woman. Beautiful, intelligent, great lawyer with a strong character. It seemed natural to fall for her.

If he sensed her discomfort, the journalist said nothing, spending the evening laughing with the other couple only keeping his hand on her shoulder, putting it back each time Venom forced him to take it off. He was kind enough not to ask her what she had thought of Anne, or if she was reassured. Maybe he was afraid of the answer too.

After that, things got a little complicated. Without doing it on purpose, Y/N put some distance between them. To protect herself, because she only thought of one thing.

One day, Eddie was going to listen to Venom. One day, he was going to see that even if he no longer loved Anne, he could find someone better, and he was going to leave her.

Well, the alien still had contradictory messages. If Y/N sucked, Eddie sucked too. A loser. When he wasn't busy asking for food or criticizing the young woman, he was insulting his poor host.

And if she ended up not listening to what he said about her, only caring about her boyfriend's opinion, she didn't like it at all that Venom treated Eddie so badly.

"No." she said one day, sitting on the sofa, while the journalist was still arguing with the alien for some stupid reason, before throwing up his arms and agreeing to go buy chocolate and tatter tots to calm him down.

"…Uh ? Sorry, Y/N, are you talking to me ?"

"You're not going out."

"Uh. I'll just go to Madam Cheng's. It'll only take a few minutes."

"Venom doesn't deserve chocolate. You stay here, watch the movie with me, and if he apologizes, then he gets some sugar."

“How dare you, stupid woman ?!” the symbiote shouted, showing all its teeth to scare her.

But Y/N wasn’t afraid anymore. Even though he was rude and mean, he had promised Eddie that he would never hurt her, and he seemed to be an alien of words. Aside from his screams, he had nothing against her.

“You, how dare you ?!” she replied, jumping off the couch, which seemed to surprise both Eddie and the symbiote. "I don't care what you think or say about me. I understand that you don't like me, that I'm not good enough, and you know what ? I agree ! Eddie deserves better than me. But he deserves better than you too ! You're an asshole to him ! I forbid you from talking to him like that, or breaking his nose, even if you fix him right after ! He's a great host, you should thank him and do everything to make him happy."

It was stupid, but she started crying as she spoke. Emotions tended to make her cry, even anger. At the silence of her boyfriend and her non-parasite, Y/N felt bad.

She then had the stupid instinct to go lock herself in the bathroom, to try to calm down and remember how to breathe.

From the other side of the door, she heard whispers, but was unable to tell what they were saying.

Then Eddie knocked gently, asking if he could come in, or if she would come out.

"… He's going to apologize ?"

"Yes, I promise."

Trying her tears to not give Venom another reason to make fun of her, Y/N opened shyly, not daring to look at her boyfriend right away, and stood stupidly in front of him, waiting.

“Vee…”

“I’m sorry, brave little morsel.”

"Hmm ? Oh. No, I meant an apology for Eddie."

“He already apologized, love.”

"I don't need him to apologize to me. He meant what he said, and like I said… He's not wrong. But it's nice."

"Little morsel…" Venom whispered, moving closer to her and looking almost sad. "I was totally wrong. I see it now. Eddie explained it to me, but I wasn't listening."

With Eddie translating what he said, the alien explained that for his species, symbiosis was important. They could have several hosts, but there was only one perfect symbiosis, just one.

Part of him wanted to keep his host to himself, jealous and possessive, but that wasn't possible, because contrary to what his attitude seemed to show, he cared about Eddie's happiness.

That was why he was so insistent that he return to Anne. Because from the memories he had seen of his relationship, he had seemed to be in perfect symbiosis with Anne, and since there was only perfect symbiosis, then he had to do everything to get her back, even if she was married to stupid Dan.

He didn’t hate Y/N. It really wasn't personal, it was just logic and survival instinct.

What Venom failed to understand was that human relationships weren't like symbiosis. And in the end, if he had to compare the two, it was now obvious that Eddie's perfect match was with Y/N.

Yes, his ex had helped them, and she would help them again if necessary. But so did Y/N, who had accepted Eddie's special situation, who had stayed despite the horrible things Venom had said, who protected her lover and tried to please the alien.

"Babe…" Eddie sighed, taking her hands. “If anyone is too good for anyone else here, it’s you.”

"He's right."

"… Thank you Vee."

"But you always say she's too good for you. Once we agree, you might be happy !"

"Eddie… You're saying that ?"

"Of course. I still don't know how I managed to seduce you, or why you didn't run away when you saw Vee, or what I did to deserve that such a great girl could think that she's in love with a guy like…"

He jumped a little when she kissed him to stop him from saying any more nonsense, but Eddie quickly relaxed, clinging to her, pinning her against the wall to accentuate the kiss.

Right in their ears they could hear Venom purring in pleasure. They didn't mind until he licked their cheeks.

"Vee ! It's disgusting !"

"You're not listening to me ! I'm telling you to get into bed ! You're going to hurt Y/N if you stay here. A Lady should be caught in satin sheets, surrounded by rose petals, after foreplay of at least twenty minutes, and satisfied several times."

"… What ?!"

"I really like this idea. Eddie, where are my rose petals and at least twenty minutes of foreplay ?"

"Y/N ! Don't team up against me, please !"

"I can help him with endurance. And the rest. I've seen a lot of videos."

"… Okay ! Remind me to take care of my internet history tomorrow morning."

"Yeah, yeah. Less talk, more passion. Little morsel is waiting, I can feel it, and she's ovulating."

"… Aren't you supposed to go get chocolate from Madam Cheng ?"

"Yes ! And I will take the opportunity to explain for the hundredth time why there are things that should not be said."

“But Y/N is wet.”

"And here we go !"

Despite Eddie's explanations, Venom continued to want to give advice and do everything to make his relationship with Y/N perfect.

After all, he had almost ruined everything, so he felt he had an obligation to help these two idiots be happy, living in harmony and understanding what to do to satisfy the other in every situation.

Even if Eddie was already a caring and kind boyfriend, who Y/N didn't want to leave at all despite this little characteristic.

That said, after the alien took the initiative to help with his tongue once, she wasn't really complaining about it.

[onefleshonepod]

On Barbie

I'd like to share my thoughts on John’s choice to house Alecto in a body that looks like Hollywood Hair Barbie.

To the best of my recollection over the past year, I've seen several people claim that Barbie being a famously unattainable beauty standard for women and arguably a sex symbol was irrelevant to John's decision to make Alecto a Barbie lookalike, and that rather the main impetus for this decision of John’s was his trauma, gender non-conformity, internalized homophobia, and desire to return to the comfort of childhood. This argument posits that John's decision had little or nothing to do with patriarchy, misogyny, objectification of women, or impossible beauty standards placed on women by men.

I empathize with the above position to a certain extent — it's absolutely crucial to remember and consider in our analyses that John is a queer working-class Indigenous man.

But………....................

John is not a real person. He is a character written to advance plot, themes, and political commentary within a carefully crafted story.

If I'm Tamsyn Muir writing John 1:20 in Nona the Ninth, and the point I want to make about my character is specifically and only that he is struggling with self-doubt, trauma, gender non-conformity, internalized homophobia, and yearning for the comfort of home and childhood — and I want to say nothing about patriarchy and misogyny?

I'm not having him make the soul of the earth into a Barbie!

I'd be having him model Alecto after a completely different popular 1990s toy for girls, like a Polly Pocket, or Betty Spaghetti, or a Raggedy Ann doll, or another doll that doesn't carry the same connotations as Barbie. Or, hell, I’d be having John make Alecto look exactly like his mum, or his nan, or female Māori mythological figures from stories he must have heard from his nan in childhood, like Papatūānuku, or the first woman, Hineahuone, who was made from earth.

I'm not smarter or more creative than Tamsyn, and the above ideas are just the alternatives I thought of in five minutes that would have specifically symbolized John's personal trauma and nothing else.

But Tamsyn didn't do that. Tamsyn picked Barbie specifically. I think that's worth taking into consideration.

Let’s examine exactly what John says in John 1:20.

Hollywood Hair Barbie's physical appearance comes first in the list of reasons why she was his favourite, and her other characteristics come last. He lists two physical traits and one non-physical trait of hers. “My favourite was her old Hollywood Hair Barbie,” he murmured. “I loved her little gold outfit and her long yellow hair. She was the best. She got to have all the adventures.”

He discards as an option a model of a woman who doesn't conform to patriarchal, Eurocentric beauty standards specifically because of her appearance: “There was also a Bride’s Dream Midge, but Mum had cut Midge’s hair into this weird mullet.”

He chooses a blonde Barbie body that he can mould into and mentally map onto glamourized versions of women created by men through the ages. “I made you look like a Christmas-tree fairy … I made you look like a Renaissance angel … I made you Adam and Eve … Galatea. Barbie. Frankenstein’s monster with long yellow hair.”

Our famous cultural images of Renaissance angels are all idealized depictions of women made by men — Raphael, Titian, Albrecht Dürer, etc. Frankenstein's monster, a man loathed and discarded by his creator, is a more nuanced comparison... but the only thing John notes is that his version has long yellow hair.

I'm not even getting into the whiteness (or the plastic-ness) of it all, but three of John's comparisons here are specifically coded as white women considered beautiful by Eurocentric standards in the Western cultural imagination (Christmas tree toppers, Renaissance angels, and Barbie), and the others are often depicted as white.

Galatea specifically is such a telling comparison. This myth is the story of a man caging and controlling his idealized, beautiful female creation, which exactly parallels John’s goals with Alecto: “From my blood and bone and vomit I conjured up a beautiful labyrinth to house you in. I was terrified you’d find some way to escape before I was done.”

Given all of this, I genuinely think that John's choice of Barbie as a model for Alecto was intended to position John as a symbol of patriarchy, misogyny, and objectification of women, through both a political and religious lens. Tamsyn is way, way too smart to have not made a careful, considered, intentional choice here.

John didn’t make Alecto into a Māori goddess from his nan’s stories. He didn't make her into a cheerful Raggedy Ann. He made her into a beautiful, blonde Hollywood hair Barbie.

[bethanydelleman]

Writing Villains (Advice from Jane Austen)

One of the reasons that I find Jane Austen's novels so wonderful is that they have amazingly realistic villains, some that are fully fleshed out characters. Austen's biggest strength is that she gives her villains clear, logical motives. In fact, for many of her villainous characters you can turn the entire story around and see a rational story from the other side.

For example, Lucy Steele. She doesn't attack Elinor out of mindless evil, but because Edward Ferrars is her golden ticket to wealth and she knows that Edward loves Elinor. Lucy might twist the knife a little on Elinor out of sadism, but generally she attacks Elinor in an attempt to secure Edward. When it comes to other characters, Lucy is overly sweet if she wants something from them, otherwise she acts normally. As an example, she leaves Marianne alone because Marianne is not competing for Edward and also can't do anything for Lucy. Anne, Lucy's sister, likes her. Lucy has friends and family she stays with, she's a fairly well-rounded person.

You can put yourself in Lucy's shoes, you can turn the entire narrative on it's head and play it out from her perspective and it would make complete sense. You could even make Lucy sympathetic! She probably sees herself as a hardworking underdog, trying to wrest her one chance at prosperity away from the conniving Elinor Dashwood. I'm sure she thinks the pain she causes Elinor is justified.

If you can't do that with your villains, then there is a good chance they are just evil for evil's sake. I picked Lucy Steele on purpose because I hate when the entire motivation for a antagonist female character is "bitches be crazy". Bitches may be mean, but almost always for a good reason.

Even Mrs. Norris, who is probably the most cruel of Austen's female villains, can be perspective switched. Her life is about being useful to the Bertram family so she can feel important because her married status/wealth is lower than she wished. As she must always be deferential towards the Bertrams, she takes out her negative emotions on those below her, the servants and Fanny, while also showing off how good she is at "managing" those people. (And yes, she is your childhood bully)

We often hear her perspective and she clearly sees herself as a useful part of the family and a defender of Sir Thomas's wealth. She thinks she's a good person! Which is also an important point: most people doing wrong do not believe that they are doing wrong. That is what really makes a villain scary. Mrs. Norris thinks she's helping Fanny in a very twisted way by teaching Fanny her station in life. If you asked her, she'd give you a self-justified answer and she'd probably actually believe it.

Another way to do a good villain is to just make a person very selfish. Henry Crawford doesn't sit around all day laughing about how much pain he causes women, he doesn't think about it. He only thinks about the fun of flirting for himself, not the harm to others. The glimpses we get into his perspective are not cruel at all. It's the same with Willougby, he thinks only of his own pleasure and tries very hard to ignore that he has crushed Marianne and destroyed Eliza Williams. When he is forced to accept that people were hurt, he blames everyone but himself.

Wickham thinks that he's a victim, Caroline Bingley is ambitious and doesn't care who she steps on to get to the top, Mr. Elton is insulted that Emma could even dream he's a match with Harriet but he can't touch Emma so he punches down at Harriet. They all make sense, they all probably believe that their actions are justified.

Also, imagine taking the heroine/hero right out of the story, would the villain still act the same way? If Anne didn't exist, Mr. Elliot would still try to bring himself into the Elliot family because he was afraid of losing the title. If Elizabeth didn't exist, Wickham would have had another favourite in Meryton. If Fanny didn't exist, Mrs. Norris would have found some other puppy to kick. The villains don't just appear for the plot of the main characters, they have their own reasons for moving around and messing shit up.

Lastly, explaining but not excusing (though unfortunately some people will excuse anyway but that's not your fault). Mary Crawford is mercenary and doesn't seem to believe that love is even a real thing. It's pointed out several times in the novel that her defects have to do with being raised in an immoral environment and a broken home. She was taught by her aunt to marry for wealth and disregard love. Austen doesn't excuse Mary, she doesn't give her a happy ending, but she does explain how she came to be. She's not just greedy, she has been taught that wealth is the best recipe for happiness. As an adult now, it is her responsibility to question that maxim or remain a villain.

Austen wrote amazing morally grey characters and "villains" (a term I used a little liberally here, some of them probably only count as antagonists, not full blown villains). I love how real and human she made her characters, it's something I aspire to myself!

Linking my Caroline rant because it's related, people remove her motives so often and flatten her into a "bitches be crazy".

[heeverseblog]

this time

synopsis: you confessed to jake sim in your senior year of high school but got rejected. now you’re a single mom in need of a math tutor to help your daughter pass math class. you happen to stumble upon jake’s profile and end up hiring him.

pairing: math tutor!jake x single mom!reader

genre: childhood acquaintances to lovers, single parent au, fluff, little bit of angst but happy ending

warnings: unrequited love (only at the beginning), mentions of early pregnancy, abandonment, fear of being in a relationship, one suggestive scene, short argument about career

word count: 11,359 words

note: THIS WHOLE STORY IS RUSHED AND NOT HEAVILY PROOFREAD, SORRY :((((

the first day you saw jake sim was at your school’s library. you were reading “anne of green gables” while he was reading a physics textbook. a freakin’ physics textbook. who reads a physics textbook at eight years old? apparently, jake sim does.

he looked so invested in reading formulas and his glasses were thick black-framed ones. you thought it was cute when he was sticking his tongue out as he was reading probably some formulas and terms. you forgot about gilbert blythe because that day, jake sim became number one in your “the cutest boys i’ve ever seen” list.

word was sent out that you had a huge, massive crush on jake sim. who wouldn’t know when you shout his name every time he passes by your way? you’d give him love notes saying how cute he looked with his glasses and how he has the cutest smile. every cringey, embarrassing thing a girl can do and call her crush just for him to notice her. yes, you’ve done it all.

when you became a teenager, you think that what you feel towards jake is more than just a crush. the longer you got to know him, the more you got to see how kind he was. when everyone was having a hard time understanding math, he’d write on the blackboard formulas and explaining when and where to use them. when a kid fell on his bike, he cleaned the wound and carried him to the school clinic, even when he was tired and sweaty from soccer practice.

one time, you were bored at math class. so you doodled the soccer field from your window. then your math teacher slams his hands on your table and proceeds to humiliate you on your artistic dreams. your colored pencils were confiscated and as shallow as it may be, you felt like a part of you was taken away after being humiliated.

while it was lunch time, jake came out of your classroom going with his friends, sunghoon and jay. you were still sad about what happened a while ago. when you sat down, you were surprised when you colored pencils were placed under your desk. you remember jake coming out of the classroom. you smile, realizing that you liked jake sim.

every girl fell on line in talking to jake sim. but you always made sure you were first. rumors spread that jake had a crush on the transfer student, kazuha. the rumors were confirmed when he asked her to the school dance. they danced that night but nothing bloomed. you noticed jake looked a little sulky the following week. and you thought that simply making him laugh like making funny faces or giving him cookies will make him feel better. and he did. jake was never mean to you. he still treats you kindly like everyone else. and you were fine with that. but you wanted to step your game.

a few weeks left and you will be graduating high school. so you wanted to confess to jake properly. you drew a banner with your confession, “jake sim, will you accept me?” you remember setting up the art room with lights. your art teacher was kind enough to allow you, knowing that you were her favorite student.

“jake sim, i’ve liked you since the day you were reading that textbook in the library. i’ve always liked you and it took me years to properly confess how I truly feel . so… you held out the flowers to him, “will you accept me?”

you felt like crying saying your confession. but you didn’t care. you gave him the peonies from your mother’s flower shop. when you thought will reach for the flowers, he held hands and slowly pulled them down. your face went down along with your hands.

“y/n, i appreciate what you have done…but,” jake looked down at the floor, “i don’t like you like that.”

you’d be lying to yourself when you say you’re not hurt. you tried your best not to blink or else the tears will come out of your eyes.

“oh. um…thank you for being honest.” you gave him a forced smile, feeling your eyes well up. on cue, the school bell rings, signaling it’s time for all students to get out of the building.

“i’ll see you tomorrow?”

jake nods, “see you tomorrow.”

you gave him a pat in the back before turning of the lights then ran out of the art room. you let the tears run down your face as the petals from the peonies fell, leaving a trail on the floor.

after a week, you received your high school diploma and off you to college you go. you and your friends took pictures together and you thought that it would be nice to walk around your school for one last time. from the classrooms, to the playgrounds, to the soccer fields. then you took one last glance at the art room, recalling the day you experienced your first heartbreak.

when you went back to your parents, they gave you a tight hug before giving you a bouquet. then you catch a glimpse of jake with his family. like yours, his parents were proud of him for finishing top of his class. your heart might have swelled a little but before you could feel it more, your dad said he’d take you and your mom out to dinner.

jake sim might not like you back but you were sure that he will be a good memory you can look back to.

“i’m sorry, mom.” your seven-year-old daughter tells you as both of you walked out of her classroom. apparently, she wasn’t the best at math class and her homeroom teacher was beginning to worry. but who were you to be disappointed when you were never the best at math either.

you kneel down, holding your daughter’s shoulders, “aera, we’re going to hire someone to help you, alright?”

aera pouts while nodding her head. you held her cheek, “sweetie, it’ll be alright. hm?” your daughter slowly nods her head then both of you went home.

you’re in an app searching for math tutors that look friendly but will help your daughter excel in class. it’s been an hour and you still haven’t found the right one.

“mommy, what’s for dinner?” aera says as she colors in her coloring book.

“we’re having spaghetti tonight, sweetie.” aera just nods her head and goes back to coloring. when you returned your attention to your phone, a familiar name popped up.

sim jaeyun: part-time physics teacher, part-time math tutor

sim jaeyun or known as jake sim when you were just a girl living in a small town. he was the boy you’ve had a huge crush on ever since you were eight years old. because of your silly crush on him, you confessed to him a week before your high school graduation. but he didn’t like you that way.

admit it or not, jake is a strong candidate. aside from attending the same school as kids, jake was best in math and physics and had a good reputation for being a math wizard.

unconsciously, you tapped the hello! are you available for a meet-up? option.

“shit!” you stand up from the couch.

“mom, that’s a bad word,” aera says while coloring her coloring book at the dinning table.

“you’re right, sweetie. mommy is sorry.” you say and kneeled to reach your daughter’s height. you smile, thinking that your daughter takes after you in her interest in drawing and coloring. she’d always ask you for coloring books, sometimes crayons if her old ones kept breaking. then one time you gave her the 64 crayons that you’ve always wanted as a kid.

“mommy, look!” aera colored the tiger pink.

“that’s wonderful, baby!” aera goes back into coloring while you prepare your dinner.

while you were cooking your spaghetti, your phone beeps and you received a message.

hello there! may i know who i’ll be tutoring?

you reply, it’s my seven-year-old daughter. she needs help in math.

jake: oh i see. may i know who i am speaking with?

you take a deep breath and typed your full name.

jake: y/n? did we go to the same school together?

y/n: yup! same school since 2nd grade to high school.

jake: oh wow! how are you doing?

y/n: i’m doing well right now.

jake: that’s good to hear!

jake: about your daughter, where exactly does she need help in math?

y/n: if it’s not too much to ask, she needs help in everything.

jake: oh no problem! are you available to meet-up?

y/n: sure! will send you the details soon.

jake: great! looking forward to meeting you.

y/n: looking forward to meeting you too.

“oh no!”

you immediately put your phone down and got the pot away from the stove with smoke coming out of it.

you told jake to meet you at this café that is somewhat near where you lived and where jake is residing. it’s been long since you last saw jake and your last encounter with him was at the art room with a banner and lights where you confessed. then he rejected you.

you were holding tight on your cup of coffee. after you told jake where you were seated, you were expecting to meet him anytime soon. and that thought made you more nervous.

“y/n?”

your organs did somersaults when you hear his familiar voice. and when you turn around, you were also greeted with a familiar face.

“j-jake. hi.”

jake still wore glasses. difference is that they were no longer thick black-framed ones but specs. aside from that, he did not change much. he still looked as gentle like before.

“sorry to keep you waiting. one of my students needed help.”

“no worries. please, take a seat.”

jake sits at the seat across you. he places his bag on the floor then he returns his gaze at you.

“sorry i didn’t order anything for you yet. i didn’t know what you liked.”

“it’s okay. so, your daughter needs help?”

“yeah, aera, she…she has trouble understanding problem-solving equations. has a hard time memorizing the multiplication table too, apparently.”

some part of you felt awkward that your daughter got her weakness in math from you. and jake knew that.

“do you have any worksheets from her class?”

“oh, yes,” you bring out the sheets if paper from your bag and gave it to jake. he reviews the papers and you felt déjà vu, remembering the day you first saw him in the library while reading a physics textbook.

“i see the problem here. she mixes the formulas and interchanges them.”

“is she…does she need extreme hands on help?”

“i can’t say yet but if i tutor her soon, i'll let you know the progress.”

“thank you…” you pause, not knowing to call him mr. sim, teacher sim, or just by his name.

“sorry,” you let out an awkward laugh, “i just don’t know how to address you?”

“jake is fine. i mean we went to the same school.”

“okay. thank you, jake.”

“thank you, too. y/n.” then jake gets his bag.

“you’re leaving?”

“yeah, i have to do some tasks first. but let me know when i can tutor her.”

“sure thing. see you soon?”

jake nods, “see you soon.” then he leaves the café.

you and jake agreed that he will tutor aera from 2 pm to 5 pm every thursday and friday. at first, aera is shy to meet a new person but you assured her that her new tutor is a friend of yours. and she promised that she will behave.

the doorbell rang and as you expected, jake was outside.

“hi.”

“hi. i hope i’m not too early.”

“oh, no. you came just in time. come on in.”

when you let jake in your unit, you told him to wait by the living room while you call aera by her bedroom.

“sweetie, your tutor is here. come and say hi.”

when aera came out of her room, her shyness aent away.

“aera, this is jake. he’s going to tutor you at math. say hi, sweetie.”

“hello!” aera waves to jake to which he found adorable and softly giggles.

“it’s nice to meet you, aera.”

“mommy says you’re her friend. i call aunt yujin and aunt gaeul aunties because they’re mommy’s friends. can i call you uncle jake?”

“aera…”

“uncle jake sounds nice.” jake said with a smile on his face.

“do you want us to start, aera?” jake asks and aera nods before pulling jake to the dining table.

before jake and aera started their tutor session, you asked permission from jake if you can stay by your room with the door open. and he was kind enough to understand that you were careful with aera.

surprisingly, jake and aera got along well. aera had a hard time understanding the formulas and comprehending problems but jake was very patient with her. you always knew that jake would be a great teacher but you never knew that day will actually come true.

“okay, so when you add 4 and 7, you’ll be transferring the other one here, to 6. so it becomes 7. then you add 7 and 2. and what’s the answer?”

“91?”

“good job, aera!” then jake did a high five to aera before circling the worksheet with his red pen.

“uncle jake, can you be my math teacher instead? you’re nicer than mrs. im.”

“did you know that mrs. im was also my math teacher. your mom and i were her students.”

“it means that she’s old! no wonder why she’s so grumpy.”

“aera, what did we say about bad mouthing people?” you say from the kitchen as you start preparing your dinner.

“it’s not going to make us different from them.”

“that’s right.”

jake softly laughed at your statement, “okay, aera. that’s all for today. if you still need help next time, we can always go back. but try studying on your own too, okay?”

“okay, uncle jake!”

jake starts packing his things then you and aera see him out.

“uncle jake, thank you for teaching me today. you’re so nice and i had fun.”

“you’re welcome, aera.”

aera looks up at you, “mommy, say thank you, too.”

you rub aera’s shoulders, “yes, ma’am,” then faced jake, “thank you for helping aera today. really.”

“you’re welcome,” jake looks down at aera, “i’ll see you tomorrow, okay kiddo?”

“see you tomorrow, uncle jake!” aera waves and jake gives her a smile before he leaves.

months have passed since jake tutored aera. the process wasn’t easy at first since aera is really having a hard time understanding math. but as jake promised, he updated you that aera is still in need of help to improve. and you were grateful that he was patient with her, despite being exhausted from being a teacher at school.

most days, aera was excited for her tutoring sessions. she even boasts how she has a good tutor and jake’s her favorite teacher slash uncle. and you have to admit, it was cute.

today, you were busy finishing an illustration for a children’s book. most of the time, you sell your works online or have clients contact you for commissions. it wasn’t a stable job but you had to earn for you and your daughter. and thank god, your clients paid you well.

in the middle of working, you received a message from yujin, saying that there will be a class reunion at the town hall two months from now. you didn’t know if you’ll be able to go but you might if your friends are going.

yujin: so how’s the tutoring going on?

y/n: it’s going pretty well, actually. jake is really patient with aera and he always make sure that she understands what he’s teaching her

gaeul: you know…it’s not too late to re-live high schaer

y/n: eh???

yujin: she means to shoot your shot

y/n: very funny guys -_-

y/n: jake is just tutoring aera and he’s just doing his job

gaeul: 👀

yujin: if you say so 🤪

y/n: gotta get ready. i’ll be picking up aera in a bit and jake will be arriving after.

yujin: ooooh y/n is getting ready for her date.

y/n: OH PLEASE 😡

you roll your eyes before locking your phone and turning off your tablet.

when you were done getting dressed, the doorbell rang and when you opened it, you were surprised to see jake.

“hi, jake. i was just about to pick-up aera from school.”

jake scrunches his forehead then looks at his watch, “oh,” he lets out a laugh, “my class ended early and i might have thought i was late. i can come back later.”

“oh no, please. do you want to come with me and pick-up aera? she’ll be glad to see you.”

“sure.”

“great. let’s go.”

during the car ride, you and jake didn’t say a word. it was either you were busy watching the road or avoiding talking to him.

“so how have you been?”

“hm?”

“i mostly see you during tutoring sessions but we never really…'talked.’”

“oh, uh…well today was fine. i’m currently doing an illustration for a children’s book. not halfway done but I’m making progress. you?” you liked to jake before immediately returning your attention to the road.

“one of my students said that physics was useless and why do we need to study how fast a frisbee can travel.”

you try holding your laugh but jake caught you so you retort, “sorry it’s just that a kinda remember myself. and well, i couldn’t help my daughter in her math homework.”

it was silent again and all you could hear was the tires and the car engine.

“for what’s worth, aera is a good kid.”

you smile at jake’s comment and looked at him for a while, “thanks.”

“we’re here.”

“it’s been a while since i saw this place.”

you spot aera waiting at the waiting area and when she sees your car, she stands up and waits for you. and when you and jake got out of the car, she immediately runs to jake, hugging his leg.

“uncle jake, you’re here!”

jake giggles, “it’s good to see you too, kiddo.” then he rubs aera’s head like usual.

“don’t i get a hug?”

“mommy!” aera opens her arms and then you carry her. she gives you a kiss.

“let’s go home?” you asks and aera nods.

the three of you went to the car. aera was still happy that jake was with you to pick her up.

“uncle jake, can you come and pick me up next time?”

“aera, uncle jake has classes to teach. you can still see each other during tutoring sessions.”

aera pouts at what you said. jake looks back, “how about i bring you ice cream next week?”

aera smiles, “yes, please!”

“you might spoil her with too much sweets.” you nag.

“can it be mint chocolate, please?”

jake’s eyes grew wide then he looks at you and back at aera, “you really are your mother’s daughter.”

“hey mint chocolate deserves to be respected,” you defend.

“not when it tastes like toothbrush.”

“that’s mean!” you and aera say in unison.

throughout the whole ride, three of you were still bickering about mint chocolate being the superior ice cream flavor. you never thought that someone could actually get along with you and your daughter’s antics. and you liked it.

“i’m sorry for the overtime, jake. but don’t worry, i’ll increase today’s payment session.”

exams were coming and aera needed help in studying. you felt bad that you had to ask jake to stay for a while but you promised him that he’ll be compensated more than his usual pay.

“it’s alright. besides, aera needed help.”

“why don’t you stay for dinner? you might be hungry.”

“oh, no. i couldn’t.”

“no, really. it’s the least i can do for thanking you.”

“if you insist then,” jake places his bag down the chair, “dinner would be great.”

and dinner was going great. aera told jake herself that jake was her favorite teacher. and jake felt honored. aera kept telling stories of her school life and how she made friends. then aera tells how

“you know, your uncle jake helped everyone in math before. he’s a math wizard.”

“uncle jake, did you help mom math too?”

“i did. she got the 4th highest grade in our math exam.”

“and of course, your uncle jake got the highest grade.”

jake does this hand gesture where he says “oh please.”

“is my mom hard to teach?”

you and jake laughed, “well…let’s say you’re a fast learner than your mother.”

“mommy, i’m better at you in math!”

“i can’t believe you two are teaming up against me,” then you pretend to get shot at the heart and jake and aera laughed at your antics.

after dinner was done, aera became sleepy. she promised that she’ll finish her homework tomorrow. you let her sleep early because she looked exhausted.

“goodnight, uncle jake.” aera says then yawns.

“goodnight, kiddo. you did well today.” jake kneels down and aera hugs jake. you were surprised but jake returned the hug, the sight melted your heart.

“okay, sweetie. uncle jake has to go home and sleep too.” aera pulls away from the hug and then you tell her to get her clothes and take a shower.

“bye, uncle jake.” aera says before getting inside the bathroom.

when it was just you and jake alone, you looked into each other and laughed.

“aera will be sleeping well tonight.”

“yeah, looks like it.”

“hey,” you pause for a while, “thank you. for helping aera. she hasn’t been this happy for a while.”

“thank you for letting me stay.” for some reason, your heart fluttered, “for dinner.”

“oh,” then you let out a chuckle, “you’re welcome.”

you and jake let out another chuckle. and it might seem cringey but you didn’t care. because right now—this felt right. you looking to his eyes, and him doing the same. almost like you didn’t want him to leave.

“i, uh…” jake coughs, “i should probably go.”

“oh. yeah…right. drive safely.”

jake nods before he opens the door, saying goodbye before leaving.

when you closed the door, you let out a breath you realized you haven’t been holding. you’ve replayed how jake looked at you just a while ago. and every time you remembered his face, your heart would beat fast. when you remember him being a good friend to aera, you couldn’t help but melt at his gentleness towards your daughter.

“mommy?” aera walks out of the bathroom with a towel on her shoulders, “are you sick?”

“huh? oh. no, no sweetie.”

“your face is red.”

“it’s just hot sweetie. let’s tuck you to bed, okay?”

after tucking aera to bed, it was your turn to get ready for bed. and when you thought you’ll be able to sleep peacefully, days of jake bonding with your daughter flashed in your mind again. he hated mint chocolate but when he promised to bring a tub of it, he ate it with you and aera. he finished a cup of it and didn’t think of spitting it out or drinking water to cleanse his tongue. one time, when you gave him a glass of water, your fingers touched and you immediately pulled away.

you kept tossing and turning all night. it was like you were your old self, gushing over jake in the smallest things. though this time, you had a daughter. and jake treats her so well that you couldn’t help but smile and melt.

and you wore that smile until you slept peacefully at night.

lately, you’ve been having headaches while feeling muscle pains. when you took a temperature test, it showed that you had fever. you immediately called yujin, saying you needed help to take care of aera. you couldn’t ask your parents help because they have a store to take of at home. besides, you didn’t want them to take a bus all the way here to the city. you were just thankful that yujin was happy to babysit aera while you we sick and you said that you were fine with being alone for now. you told jake about your sickness and aera’s tutoring sessions will be cancelled for now. he hopes for you to get better soon.

“remember to listen to aunt yujin, alright?”

“mhm!”

“and you don’t keep her waiting when she comes to fetch you.”

“yes, mommy!”

“don’t forget to finish your homework, alright? especially math.”

“yes, mommy!” you smile at your daughter then shift your attention to yujin, “thank you for doing this.”

“aera and i will have a good time, don’t worry,” yujin soothes aera’s head.

“i’m going to miss you, sweetie.” sadly, you couldn’t kiss aera goodbye.

“i’m going to miss you too, mommy!”

“okay sweetie, you’re going be late for school.”

aera and yujin say their goodbyes and you were left alone in your home. you lied down on your bed, with a glass of water beside you. you wrapped yourself in your blanket, hoping that it’ll stop you from shivering.

hours have passed and what you’ve been doing is eating, cleaning the used dishes, drinking medicine, and sleeping. you couldn’t wait to get better but you still felt sick and weak.

you were covered in your blanket when your doorbell rang. you wondered if it was yujin but she must be at home this hour, watching over aera.

you wore your mask before getting the door. when you opened it, you were surprised to see jake holding a stainless-steel lunchbox.

“oh, jake. hi.”

“i, uh…i made us some dinner. i made you soup.” jake raises the lunchbox, “i just thought you needed something to warm you up.”

you couldn’t help but melt at jake’s words. he really has this talent of turning small things into something big. and it made your heart flutter.

“come on in.” you opened the door for jake and let him in like always.

“i’ll just get us some plates.” then jake holds your shoulder, “i’ll do it. you can lie down and rest.”

you nod, “okay.” you were about to enter your room but you turn around, “plates and bowls are in the upper right cabinet.”

“got it.”

“and the spoons—” then jake shows you that he found the utensils on the other side of the cabinet.

“i’ll…” you point to your room and jake assures you that he’s got it covered.

you never let anyone in your home aside from your friends and parents. yujin and gaeul have always been pestering you to go on blind dates but you never did. letting someone else in your life was making you a little doubtful. but you were glad that jake is someone you knew and looks trustworthy.

“hey,” jake enters with a tray of the food he brought. you sit up then jake places the tray in front of you.

“what’s tonight’s main course?”

“well, we have ramyeon with ham, boiled eggs, and green onions.”

“sounds delicious.”

“here,” jake scoops some soup and gently blows it before bringing the spoon close to your mouth. you take the soup in your mouth and you smile, “that’s good soup. give my compliments to the chef.”

jake softly laughs, “will do.”

and jake proceeds to feed you the noodles and other toppings. you felt shy every time you couldn’t take the food in your mouth, especially if they were noodles. but jake didn’t judged you. when you were almost done, you drank the remaining soup left.

“you good?”

you nod, “mhm! thanks for the food. how about you?”

“i already ate, don’t worry.” you nod then you drank your medicine.

“um…jake?”

“yeah?”

“thank you for coming over.”

jake smiles, “you’re welcome. you can sleep if you want to.”

“hm? aren’t you…don’t you need to go home and do other things?”

“if it’s alright with you…could i stay for a while? i just figured that you need someone to take care of you right now.”

you couldn’t find the right words to say. jake sim, your highschool classmate, childhood crush, your daughter’s math tutor—is willing to nurse you.

“are you sure?”

“if it’s alright with you. because,” jake slowly brings his hand to your forehead. when you realized what he wanted to do, you leaned forward, letting his hand touch your forehead.

“you’re still burning up.”

the thought of jake sim touching your forehead still causes you to become speechless. when he lets go, you pretended to not be bothered at all.

“are you sure you’ll be okay? i’m a heavy sleeper.”

“i don’t mind. sleep all you want.”

jake takes the tray and helps you fix your pillow, tucking you inside your blanket.

“goodnight, y/n.”

you smile, “goodnight, jake.”

jake was by your side until the day you got better. he cooked you food and let you rest. you felt guilty that he had to nurse you but he wanted to do it wholeheartedly. and your heart fluttered.

you confessed to aera that her uncle jake has been taking care of you while she was away. she was jealous at first because she wanted to take care of you. but you explained to her that you didn’t want to get her sick. she came to her senses and thanked jake that he took care of you. yujin, though, was protective at first but she proceeded to tease you about it.

though lately you’ve realized, your attraction on jake sim was coming back. but this time, you were starting to see him in a different light. he has always been selfless, kind, and gentle but him showing those actions to your daughter made you like him more. but of course, you couldn’t tell him directly how you felt. things were different now that you’re a mom and he’s your daughter’s math tutor.

you’d rather hide your feelings than accept a rejectin. you’ll be reminded that things that come into your life are temporary.

today, you were going to take aera out to a museum for kids. why? because she got a high score in her math exam. while you were sick, aera managed to study on her own and remember the lessons she had with jake. you called jake and told him the news and he felt so proud of her.

“mommy, can uncle jake come with us?”

“i don’t know, sweetie. but i’ll call uncle jake first, okay?” aera nods her head vigorously.

jake’s phone continued ringing and you waited for him to pick-up the call.

“hello, y/n?”

“hey, jake.”

“hi, uncle jake!” aera says and you hear jake laugh.

“aera says hi.”

“well, what’s up?”

“oh…you see, i’m taking aera out today. and we were wondering—i mean she was wondering if…if you wanted to come with us.”

you shake your head, feeling anxious if jake caught you. but that worry disappeared when jake replies, “sure, i mean i’d love to.” and he sounded full of glee.

“g-great! we’ll pick you up then?”

“oh, no. i’ll pick you guys up.”

“oh. but—”

“no, really. i want to pick you guys up.”

“oh,” again, jake’s doing the smallest things can become big. “okay, we’ll be ready by then.”

“okay. see you later.

“see you later.”

never in a long time has jake sim thought that he’ll be meeting y/n again. not in a million years has he also expected to meet y/n’s daughter.

jake sim was just having a regular day: teaching physics at school, checking their papers, and create lesson plans. he goes home, continues checking papers, finishes his lesson plan, and reads more textbooks whether it be math or physics. finally, he washes up, does a little bit of social media, then goes to bed.

jake was used to getting compliments of him being a math genius. many expected him to be a scholar, a professor, an engineer, or a physicist. but it wasn’t that easy. believe it or not, jake sim couldn’t seem to know where he can fit in. he was the golden boy from high school but after he graduated, he became lost and unsure. but he did know he loved math and physics alongside ramyeon noodles.

jake sim does his daily routine when suddenly, he receives a message. he puts his papers down and checks his phone.

hello! are you available for a meet-up?

then he replies, hello there! may i know who i’ll be tutoring?

the sender didn’t reply. he thought that it was the usual ones who reply after an hour or two so he goes back to checking his papers.

after a while, the sender replied.

it’s my seven-year-old daughter. she needs help in math.

jake returns his attention to his phone.

jake: oh i see. may i know who i am speaking with?

the sender sends a familiar name. then jake remembers a girl he frequently heard in school.

jake: y/n? did we go to the same school together?

y/n: yup! same school since 2nd grade to high school.

jake felt like catching up with an old friend. he might have not known you that much but he knew your reputation of being one of his admirers and that you were full of spirit with a good personality. though he did remember you causing some trouble but you weren’t the bad student type. in fact, he remembers you giving him compliments on sticky notes.

jake: great! looking forward to meeting you.

y/n: looking forward to meeting you too.

fast forward to the day jake was going to meet you. it was only a casual meet-up about agreements and how he’ll help your daughter pass math class. he noticed that you seemed worried about your kid but he assured you that he’ll try his best to help her.

and when he met her, he couldn’t help but soften up. meeting aera was like a breath of fresh air to his regular students. aera was willing to listen and learn on her lessons. she was very sweet and fun to be with. her spirit reminded him of yours when you were younger.

“uncle jake, i drew this picture for you.” aera gives him a drawing of him, reading books on the table with a blackboard behind him that had math equations.

“you really drew this?” jake asks amazed at your daughter’s drawing skills.

“mhm! because you’re my favorite teacher and i like you.”

jake couldn’t help but smile at aera. the kid was too cute and sweet to do such a thing. he heard you walking from the kitchen, and you had some biscuits placed inside a bowl.

“for the both of you.”

“thank you, mommy.”

jake notices how aera says “thank you” whether it be small or big actions. he liked that about a kid. but then again, he notices that you do the same. and he can’t help but think that you really are a good  mother.

ever since jake met you and aera, his routine might have become longer than before. but he didn’t mind one bit. not when he can get to help you and aera.

jake’s first reaction of you getting sick was that he got worried. the thought of you sick in bed, alone in your home almost made him loose his mind at class.

“i just figured that you need someone to take care of you right now.”

he knew that you got stressed and tired from taking care of aera. he couldn’t imagine how you managed to get through it in seven years. and he wanted to take care of you.

jake might have had had encounters with women but they weren’t any serious. in his defense, he only went on dates so that sunghoon can stop pestering him.

his bond with you and aera’s was different. the only connection you and jake had was that you both went to the same school. now, you don’t have any status aside from the fact that he’s a math tutor. but he liked it when you ask them how they’re doing and give you snacks. something about your smile and warmth makes him feel comfortable and excited at the same time.

right now, he felt happy feeling that you’re letting him be part of your mother and daughter time.

“uncle jake, have you ever been to a museum?”

“i have. your mother and i went to one in a field trip.”

“mommy says that we’re going to a museum filled with drawings.”

“that sounds fun. you excited?”

“mhm! and it’s more exciting because you’re here.”

jake looks at you, smiling at the interaction. throughout the whole ride, he’s been noticing that you’ve been smiling and giggling the whole ride. and he couldn’t help but gush over it.

the moment the three of you came into the museum, aera couldn’t help but become excited. you let aera be happy and excited but not too much or she’ll break some displays.

you took a picture of aera at the interactive displays. jake took pictures of you and aera, you doing vise versa when aera wanted a picture with him. then aera says that she wanted to have a picture with the three of you. when jake looked at the picture, he couldn’t help but think the three of you looked like a family.

“uncle jake, look! you look like my daddy.”

aera’s words affected both of you. jake has always noticed that your bond with you and aera has changed. but he never noticed that it was beyond that. until now.

“sweetie, let’s go to the mannequins, hm?”

“okay!”

then you carry aera and the two of you happily walk to the mannequins. aera was giggling at how the living mannequin gave her a flower.

suddenly, jake saw you carrying a baby in a living room. then aera comes running to you, and you show her the baby. “here’s your little sister, you say.” then you look at jake, “honey.” aera calls him, “daddy!” then runs to his direction.

“jake!”

he blinks when you called him.

“let’s go?”

“uh, y-yeah. i’ll be right there.”

you had a great time day today. aera was happy to spend her day with you guys and you were happy that she’s happy. jake’s company also made you feel happy. you thought that today’s trip would only be you and aera but with jake, it became a memorable one that you’ll never forget.

aera was sleeping peacefully at the back. you and jake were still awake but both of you were tired.

“she had fun, didn’t she?” jake asks, his eyes focusing on the road.

“she certainly did.

“who knew that she can run so fast?”

“one time, i had to chase her for thirty minutes in a playground. couldn’t catch up with her.”

“she reminds me of you. when we were eight.”

“oh please. anyone can barely put up with my energy.”

“it’s one of the best things about you.”

once again, jake sim made your heart flutter. when the car stops, jake looks at you and you avoid his gaze.

you let out a soft laugh, “yeah. i might have passed it down too much. you might have a hard time catching up with us.”

“i don’t mind. i can catch up just fine.”

then the light turns green and jake starts driving again. you were clutching your hand to your chest. your heart was beating fast that you could barely breathe. you hoped that your heart will have mercy until you got home.

minutes later, you arrived at your home. jake said he can carry aera all the way up to your unit.

you opened the door to aera’s room and jake slowly lies her down. you stand by the doorway and watch jake tuck her in and rub aera’s forehead before he leaves the room. both of you take one last glance at aera before you closed the door.

“thank you for tucking her in. and driving us home.”

“you’re welcome.”

just like the other night, you and jake were standing by the door, staring at each other. both of you didn’t say anything but give each other a look. you recognized that look because you had that look from when you were young and when you met jake again. some part of you felt scared. you never let anyone else in your life, after being left with a baby to raise on your own. but that other part was telling you that you felt happy and excited by letting someone in your life again. when all he showed you was you were worth taking care of.

“jake, i—”

jake didn’t let you finish when his lips landed on yours. his mouth molded perfectly in yours and you couldn’t help but kiss back. jake grabs your nape and the action made you sharply inhale. both of you kissed faster and tried catching each other’s lips. realizing that you’re standing in front if your daughter’s door, you pull away.

“she might hear us.” you whisper and before jake could say anything, you pulled him to your room.

when both of you got inside, you lean at the door and jake kisses you again. this time, you pulled him down by wrapping your arms around his neck. you tried catching your breaths before diving back into each other’s lips. jake slides his hand down to your waist and you let out a whimper. he took that signal as a sign to take off his coat and pull you with him.

you ended up being on top of jake and both if you giggled. you took off your jacket and before you knew it, jake was on top of you. he goes back to kissing you and holding your waist, as you held the sides of his face. jake’s lips left yours as he brushes it to your cheeks, down to your jaw, then down to your neck.

you let out a sigh, feeling euphoria. his touch was gentle and you yearned for it. you pull jake closer and he continues his magic. he slides his hands up then behind your back. you pull jake up and kissed again. he slows his movements this time, getting the rhythm that you wanted.

then realization hit you. this feeling was familiar and the thought was scaring you. the last time you felt this kind of attraction, that person was temporary in your life. you knew that jake was too. eventually, you and jake will part ways when his task is done.

“jake…” you say when you pull away. but jake doesn’t hear you and latches his lips on your neck again.

“wait. jake, stop.”

then jake finally hears you and his eyes looked worried.

“did i hurt you?”

“no. no, no. i…”

you couldn’t look at him in the eye. when you stood up, you brushed your hair back and looked at anywhere else.

“is everything okay?”

“i’m sorry. i don’t…”

you covered your face out if embarrassment, along with fear.

“y/n?” jake holds your arm. his touch made you slowly uncover your face.

“are you okay?”

“i’m…i’m scared.”

jake looks at you with his soft eyes. he places his hand on your cheek and you can feel the tears falling from your eyes.

“oh, no. don’t cry.”

but you did. you let yourself be pulled by jake’s embrace. jake calms you down by rubbing your back.

“everything is going to be alright. i'm here.”

for the first time, you’re actually believing those words.

after crying and staying silent for hours, you finally had the courage to tell jake your sturggles.

“I met this guy in college. he was a year older than me but we took the same class.

“we went on a few dates before we became official. we had a plan. we graduate, gets jobs, get married, and eventually start a family.

“getting drunk at the graduation party was not part of it. getting pregnant after the party—not at all.”

jake continues to hold your hand as both of you lie down on your bed. he let you rest your head on his shoulder as you tell your story. jake sympathized with you, waiting for you to finish what you wanted to say.

“i told him but he said he was sticking to his plan. so he’s completely out of the picture and i raised aera on my own.

“ever since then, i was so scared of letting anyone in my life again. it scares me.

“i’m sorry.”

jake puts his hand on your cheek and you face him.

“don’t be. you’re allowed to feel what you feel.”

you give jake a smile, still feeling your eyes swell. but you were thankful that jake was very understanding.

“thank you for listening.”

“thank you for telling me.”

jake soothes your back and you didn’t notice that you fell asleep in his arms.

after that night, you and jake exchanged “hi’s” awkwardly. but you tried your best not to show aera or let it affect you and jake’s agreement.

weeks passed, you and jake grew out of your awkward phase and became more comfortable eith each other. but he never forced you to start anything with him. he continued being a great father-figure to aera.

you can say that what you had was unlabeled but a part of you knows that you were starting to fall in love with jake. but you were afraid to tell him.

you were just washing the dishes after jake and aera finished their cakes. then aera’s question made you stop.

“uncle jake, if i get a high grade in math, does that mean you won’t be going here anymore?”

“of course not, kiddo. why would you think that?”

“because after i get a high grade, you won’t be teaching me anymore.”

“well, yes…because you already know how to do math. but…” at this point, you were looking at jake then he continues, “it doesn’t mean i'll stop visiting you.”

“really?”

“really.”

then aera hugs jake and he hugged her back.

“if you ace the final exam, we’ll eat mint chocolate ice cream together.” then jake looks at you.

“okay!”

aera did her best and jake was beyond proud of her. you were too. you were proud for the both of them. seeing jake with aera, you thought that he can be more than a father-figure. you knew that both of them have a special bond that is more than a tutor and student.

the next days, jake was starting to stay at home longer. he was so familiar with the place that he remembers where you keep your plates and utensils. one time, the three of you played monopoly and you didn’t remember how long you played because the three of you were having fun. jake declared himself as the winner even though there is no real winner in monopoly.

some nights, you and jake would tuck aera together and she liked it. she never complained about having a father but with jake becoming part of your lives, it was like a dream come true for her.

“i don’t know if me hanging out longer looks like i'm invading your home.”

“i don’t mind. besides, we like having you around.”

you and jake were alone in the living room. drinking a glass of wine while having late night conversations.

“do you maybe…want us to go out sometime? just the two of us.”

“yeah. i’d love that.”

“great. it’s a date then.”

you were surprised but you liked it.

“yes, jake. it’s a date.”

you lean on the couch with the glass on your right hand. jake leans in the couch too, looking at you softly.

“it’s weird though.”

“what is?”

“that i never got to see how amazing you are. you’re not just the girl who causes trouble or teachers dislike for drawing in class.”

“to be fair, i never realized how good you are with kids. it’s making me hard not to fall for you.”

you didn’t know if it was the alcohol. but you suddenly confessing your feelings for jake sim was somehow déjà vu.

“i’ll, uh,” you put down your glass, “i’ll make us some coffee.”

you stand up and was about to go to the kitchen when jake pulls you around and kisses you. you kissed him back, tasting the red sine you just drank. jake holds your cheek and you lean forward, holding his waist.

when you pull away, your eyes were still closed but you can feel jake’s breath on your lips.

“i love you.”

you open your eyes and jake was smiling at you. His cheeks were red. might be from the wine or from the proximity and confession he just said.

 “i’m not drunk am i?”

jake smirks, “i don’t think so.” then kisses you again, and you pull him closer.

“thank you for accepting me.” you whisper at his lips.

“no. thank you for accepting me.”

who would’ve thought that a bottle of red wine was all you needed for the perfect confession. but for now, you needed to make two cups of coffee so you and jake can have a proper conversation.

when you told aera the news, you told her that you loved jake like how anne loves gilbert and that jake loves you the same. then aera follows, “but didn’t you already know?” and you were caught off guard.

nevertheless, aera liked the idea of you and jake being together. you haven’t told her about how you met jake. but one day you will so that she’ll know that the right person will come along in time.

just as jake promised you, both of you will be going on a date together. you asked where you’ll be going but he said it was a surprise.

so you dressed up wearing a denim dress that you thought you’ll never use. you wore the necklace your mother gave you when you graduated high school. it felt weird when you asked aera if you looked okay. but she says that you look beautiful as ever. both yujin and gaeul wanted to babysit her this time. but you also knew that they wanted to see you finally having your date with jake sim. but they were hapoy for you that you finally found someone.

“you really don’t want to tell me where we’re going?”

“not a chance.”

you roll your eyes but you knew that jake was trying to give you a date you can remember.

minutes later, the scenery changed into a lake. the water was shining and the grass was turning to a yellow green color thanks to the sunlight. your jaw dropped at the scenery. it was like an actual painting.

when jake stopped the car, he immediately got out and opened the door for you.

“i wanted to find a place only for us.”

“how did you find this place?”

“had a little help from sunghoon and jay.”

“oh how are those two anyway?”

“they’re doing well, actually. jay is engaged and sunghoon is in denial that he’s crushing on his workmate.

you laugh, remembering sunghoon for his schemes and playboy antics. you remember him teasing jake about a girl he liked in high school.

“you okay?”

“hm?”

“you look grumpy.”

“oh.” you shake your head and grab the picnic basket from jake, “come on!”

the whole picnic, you and jake did some catching up. you told him that your parents are still residing in your hometown and your mom’s flower shop is still om business. your dad retired long ago and he just stays at home. jake’s parents were in australia and they were professors in two different universities.

“i suddenly remembered something. weren’t you supposed to move back to australia after high school?”

jake looks down at your figure, “you trying to get rid of me?” then you give jake a “really?” look and he laughs. you sit up and looked at him, placing your palm on his chest. jake was looking up at the sky, thinking deep.

“it was planned, yes. honestly, i was happy to be back home for a while but…something was telling me that i had to be somewhere else.

“i told my parents that i wanted to go back here. they were hesitant at first but i told them to trust me.”

“and did you find what you were looking for?”

“i did,” then he looks at you, “and i realized that i made the right choice to come home.”

“welcome home, jake.” you leaned down and intended to give him a quick kiss but he leans his face forward, trapping your lips.

“that wasn’t fair.”

“i love you too.”

you laugh but gave jake quick pecks and kept saying “I love you’s” in between. you were afraid of being too affectionate but you couldn’t help but show them when jake showers you a lot of it.

jake giggles like a kid then he hovers over you and it was his turn to attack you with kisses.

then both of you ate the sandwiches he made then watched the sunset together. and it was better than any romance movie you watched.

you and jake didn’t really care if you wanted to go public with your relationship. but now that both of you are driving back to your home town for the reunion, you couldn’t help but be nervous. everyone in high school knew your reputation especially that jake was involved. they don’t even know that you’re a single mom of a seven-year-old girl. and now, you’re dating the boy you had a crush on.

your friends won’t be coming because they had to babysit aera. you were hesitant at first to go but you promised jake that you’ll come with him. also, he really wanted to introduce you as his girlfriend to his friends.

“you ready?” jake unbuckles his seatbelt and then he notices you tensing up.

“you okay, baby?”

“what? oh. y-yeah. maybe not?”

“i’ll be with you the whole time,” jake places his hand on yours, “okay?”

you gulp then nod, “okay.”

jake unbuckles your seatbelt, “let’s go.”

when you and jake entered the hall, everyone was in their tables, probably chatting about their careers and relationships. they were all familiar faces. chaewon, the former class president, was chatting with your former homeroom teacher, mrs. bang. somi, one of jake’s admirers was with a date. ej was with his friend nicholas. those two were hard to separate.

“jake, my man!”

you and jake turn around and see jay approaching you. he and jake gave a brotherly hug. then out of no where, sunghoon barges in and headlocks jake.

“dude!”

“sim jaeyun is here!”

and apparently it caught everyone’s attention and they began whispering when they saw you with the famous “02z of daebom high.”

“so…jake.” sunghoon eyes you then back to jake, raising his eyebrows up and down.

“sunghoon, jay, you remember y/n, don’t you?” jake places his hand around your waist.

“how could we forget when she always screams in the hallways 'jake sim jjan!’ or ‘jakey, the sun can’t shine without your existence in the world!’”

“oh please, don’t.” your face becomes red from embarrassment.

“but y/n, i have to say, it’s about time jake did something more than spend his time on paperwork.”

the four of you chatted for a while before finding a table for the four of you. being in the same table with the three flower boys was your high school dream. it felt weird that it came true after many years but in different circumstances.

“baby, want something to eat?”

“not that hungry, thank you.”

“how about some appetizers?”

“meatballs with cheese would be nice though.”

“i’ll be right back,” jake eyes his friends, “be nice.”

“yes, sir!” sunghoon and jay do a salute before jake leaves you with them.

“y/n, tell me. has jake been giving you headaches?”

“no, actually, he’s been helping me a lot. he’d drop by and help tutor my daughter. then we’d have movie nights until we tuck aera to sleep. we go and do the most mundane dates but with him…he makes it so special.”

then you noticed jay and sunghoon just looking at you in awe.

“you really love him, don’t you?”

you nod, “i do. very much.”

“he may not be telling you this but, ever since he met you, his boring, ordinary life became vibrant and full of joy. i’ve never seen him that happy since.”

jay’s words made you feel accepted. he has always had a way with words but it was the first time you actually heard it.

“thanks, jay.”

“y/n, in case he does do something stupid, just give him a smack in the head and he’ll come around.”

“will try to remember that, sunghoon.”

“meatballs for my lady,” jake places the plate in front of you. jay and sunghoon were about to get some when jake slaps their hands.

“go get your own.”

jay was about to slap jake’s shoulder when mrs. bang starts to speak.

“class of 20xx, i’d like to start this reunion by saying, welcome home.”

everyone claps and you follow. your homeroom teacher continues by saying that there will be a program performed by somi and her friends. like before, she’s always had charisma when performing on stage.

there was games. pocky games were always the best. jay and sunghoon did it by vote. everyone cheered when the pocky stick became small in very bite. both of them didn’t want to loose but they didn’t want to touch each other’s lips either so jay took the fall.

there were some awardings too. the life of the party: sunghoon. shy prince: ej. math wizard: your jake. you got the artist award.

the event was still on-going but you and jake left early. you wanted jake to formally meet your parents.

on the drive going there, you felt nervous but you didn’t want to let jake know. as for jake, you can sense that he’s nervous because he was biting his tongue while looking at his feet.

“baby,” you call jake and when he turns around, “you cup his face.”

“they’re going to love you.”

this time, you’re assuring jake. you felt nervous too but you love jake and you know that he’s a good man that your parents will love.

you and jake waited for someone to answer the door. and when it opened, your mom answers it.

“hi, mom. dad.”

“y/n? who’s this?”

“this is jake. he’s my boyfriend.”

and your parents ended up loving jake. they remember him when you mentioned you went to daebom high together. suddenly, they told jake stories about you gushing over jake. you figured that you had quite the reputation here in town.

“oh jake, you should’ve seen y/n write your name at the back of her notebook with hearts.”

“mom!” you cover your face but your parents kept teasing you.

“jake, y/n might seem the free spirit type but she’s someone who has a big heart.”

“yes, sir. and i'll take care of her and aera.”

your dad kept offering jake some alcohol but you kept reminding him that both of you need to drive home. but a twist of events lead to jake becoming wasted and your parents saying that both of you should spend the night here.

“mom, i have to see aera.”

“y/n, you’re tired and jake is drunk. now, i don’t want both of you getting into an accident.”

you sigh, “yes, mom.”

you carried jake to your old room and lie him on his back. he kept calling your name but you just laughed, finding him cute with his red face.

“baby, i need to take off your shirt. okay?”

jake pouts and covers his chest, “my girlfriend will get mad at me.”

“jake, it’s me.”

jake slowly opens his eyes, “oHhh y/n!”

just like that, jake was fast asleep. you slowly lifted him so he can sit up. when he was sitting on the head board, you gently unbuttoned his shirt. you were thankful that he was wearing a white shirt inside. after that, you positioned him facing the side with a pillow under his head.

“talk about ‘i’ll take care of her.’”

you laugh softly but you lightly jake’s head. he looked really cute. sleeping like a baby.

“y/n…” jake says  slurring in his sleep.

“you and aera,” he lets out a hiccup, “are the best thing,” another hiccup, “that’s ever happened to me.”

for so long, you were so scared that when you let someone in your life, they’d leave you. for a while, you thought that you were content that it was just you and your daughter against the world. but eventually, this man right here, drunk and sleep talking is going to be a good father to aera. this man right here is the one you want to spend the rest if your life with.

you’ve been dating for a while now and he has been dropping by your place almost every day. so you asked him to move in with you. it wasn’t anything new except that jake doesn’t have to drive before he gets to see you and aera.

and when you slept at the same bed for the first time, it was a little awkward. but like before, both of you adjusted and got used to it.

you and jake would cuddle before you go to bed. he’d be the big spoon, whether you were facing behind him or you were lying on his chest.

“you know, i should’ve asked you sooner.”

“be grateful that i said yes in a heartbeat.”

“oh, thank you, sir jake.” you teasingly thank him like he was a knight.

the rest of the night, you’d have tickle fights until both of you will snuggle until you sleep.

but like any other relationship, there were always misunderstandings and conflicts.

“jake, all i'm saying is that we don’t have enough money to buy a new place.”

“y/n, i have enough to get us one.”

“didn’t it come across your mind that we should be buying it together?”

“well if maybe your job was—”

“what, jake? if i were a teacher, earning a monthly salary like you?”

“y/n, that’s not what i meant.”

but you walked out before he could finish. you didn’t talk to jake for the rest of the night. jake waa in the living room while you stayed in your bedroom. you were thankful that aera was oblivious to the situation.

after an hour, jake went inside your room and you were facing behind him.

“y/n…”

you didn’t say anything.

“i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have said that.”

“you think?”

“i just thought that if we get a new place, we’d finally settle in a home as a family. but truth is, wherever you are…you are my home.”

you finally turn around, but all you could do was stare at jake as he waits for you to say something.

“did you say family?”

‘yeah. i did.”

you didn’t think before hugging jake. he hugs you back, burying his face on your neck.

you and jake agreed that when the time is right, you’ll get a new place and everything else will fall into place.

you’ve been thinking for a while about what jake said. you did consider moving to a new place but your savings weren’t enough. but you also wanted to start a new life with jake in it.

so you decided to find a full-time job as an art teacher for elementary students. hoping that you’ll have enough income for your family’s future. and no, you didn’t force yourself. you choice this because it’s for the ones you love.

“ms. y/n, am i doing a okay?”

“you’re doing great, jungwon!” you give your student a big smile.

“niki you’re doing great too!”

you never fail to compliment your students. you might not have the best audiences when you were young. but you didn’t want to crush children’s dreams when they remind you of how you were.

“okay, kids. don’t forget that your homework is due tomorrow.”

you were thankful that your class was the last one. you were in the middle of fixing your things when someone knocked at the door.

“hey.”

“hey. your class is done?”

“yeah. well, i clocked out early.”

oh, right. jake finally became a full-time math teacher. both of you work at the same school. he thought that he should be helping you so you can get a new place. besides, it’s a great opportunity for him to go home with you and aera.

“are you not feeling well?” you stand up and held jake’s forehead but he shakes his head.

“actually, we are going out for a while.”

your eyes grew wide, “where are we going?”

“i’ll tell you when we get there.”

“jake.”

“it’s going to be fun,” you raised your brow at jake then he says, “i promise.”

next thing you knew, you and jake were in the car taking the route to  your hometown. the next surprising thing is when he parked in front of your old school.

“what are we doing here?”

jake just gives you a smile before getting out of the car. he opens the door for you, kneeling down.

“come with me.”

it might seem weird that jake always makes your heart flutter for the bare minimum but heck, this is jake sim we’re talking about.

both if you were walking down the hallways of the school. it felt weird walking in the same place where you called jake’s name to get his attention. now, you’re holding each other’s hand.

“don’t worry, the teachers know that we’re visiting.”

“any reason why we’re visiting?”

“when we reach the end of the hall, you’ll know.”

so you and jake continue walking. both of you stop then jake holds your hand.

“for this part, i'm going to need you to close your eyes.”

you were hesitant at first but you did what jake asked. he was holding your hand the whole time you walked with your eyes closed. then he stopped.

“wait a minute.”

jake’s lets go if your hand.

“you can open them now.”

you were greeted with lights behind jake. the banner with the sign, “will you accept me?” then you realized that this is how you confessed to jake in high school. and you’re in the same room.

jake was holding a bouquet with pink, white, and red roses with baby’s breath. and he had a ring on his other hand.

“y/n, i never would’ve thought that my boring, plain, life would be so colorful, vibrant, and joyful. you and aera…i couldn’t imagine how my life would turn out if you weren’t in my life. you let me become part of your life, and i want to spend my remaining days with you and our family.”

“so,” jake kneels down in front of you. the action caught your breath away.

“will you accept me?”

you gave yourself a minute to process what was happening. and when you did, you finally say…

“jake, i appreciate what you have done but…

“it would be a shame if i don’t say yes.”

you laugh and you let your tears fall on your face.

“yes, yes, yes.”

 jake stands up and finally gives you a tight hug. you bury your face in his chest.

jake kisses your head and whispers, “i love you.”

you lift your head up, “i love you.”

the last time you fell in love, things might not have gone the way you wanted them to. you doubted a lot of things and distanced yourself. then you met a man who proved to you that you deserve a second chance.

this time, you were sure that it will be different and will be the best thing that has ever happened to you.

***

epilogue

[book--brackets]

The Mistborn Saga by Brandon Sanderson (2006-2022)

For a thousand years the ash fell and no flowers bloomed. For a thousand years the Skaa slaved in misery and lived in fear. For a thousand years the Lord Ruler, the "Sliver of Infinity," reigned with absolute power and ultimate terror, divinely invincible. Then, when hope was so long lost that not even its memory remained, a terribly scarred, heart-broken half-Skaa rediscovered it in the depths of the Lord Ruler's most hellish prison. Kelsier "snapped" and found in himself the powers of a Mistborn. A brilliant thief and natural leader, he turned his talents to the ultimate caper, with the Lord Ruler himself as the mark. Kelsier recruited the underworld's elite, the smartest and most trustworthy allomancers, each of whom shares one of his many powers, and all of whom relish a high-stakes challenge. Only then does he reveal his ultimate dream, not just the greatest heist in history, but the downfall of the divine despot. But even with the best criminal crew ever assembled, Kel's plan looks more like the ultimate long shot, until luck brings a ragged girl named Vin into his life. Like him, she's a half-Skaa orphan, but she's lived a much harsher life. Vin has learned to expect betrayal from everyone she meets, and gotten it. She will have to learn to trust, if Kel is to help her master powers of which she never dreamed.

This saga dares to ask a simple question: What if the hero of prophecy fails?

The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman (2013)

A middle-aged man returns to his childhood home to attend a funeral. Although the house he lived in is long gone, he is drawn to the farm at the end of the road, where, when he was seven, he encountered a most remarkable girl, Lettie Hempstock, and her mother and grandmother. He hasn't thought of Lettie in decades, and yet as he sits by the pond (a pond that she'd claimed was an ocean) behind the ramshackle old farmhouse where she once lived, the unremembered past comes flooding back. And it is a past too strange, too frightening, too dangerous to have happened to anyone, let alone a small boy.

Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire (1995-2011)

When Dorothy triumphed over the Wicked Witch of the West in L. Frank Baum’s classic tale, we heard only her side of the story. But what about her arch-nemesis, the mysterious Witch? Where did she come from? How did she become so wicked?

Gregory Maguire has created a fantasy world so rich and vivid that we will never look at Oz the same way again.

Wicked is about a land where animals talk and strive to be treated like first-class citizens, Munchkinlanders seek the comfort of middle-class stability, and the Tin Man becomes a victim of domestic violence. And then there is the little green-skinned girl named Elphaba, who will grow up to become the infamous Wicked Witch of the West—a smart, prickly, and misunderstood creature who challenges all our preconceived notions about the nature of good and evil.

The Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice (1976-2018)

This is the story of Louis, as told in his own words, of his journey through mortal and immortal life. Louis recounts how he became a vampire at the hands of the radiant and sinister Lestat and how he became indoctrinated, unwillingly, into the vampire way of life. His story ebbs and flows through the streets of New Orleans, defining crucial moments such as his discovery of the exquisite lost young child Claudia, wanting not to hurt but to comfort her with the last breaths of humanity he has inside. Yet, he makes Claudia a vampire, trapping her womanly passion, will, and intelligence inside the body of a small child. Louis and Claudia form a seemingly unbreakable alliance and even "settle down" for a while in the opulent French Quarter. Louis remembers Claudia's struggle to understand herself and the hatred they both have for Lestat that sends them halfway across the world to seek others of their kind. Louis and Claudia are desperate to find somewhere they belong, to find others who understand, and someone who knows what and why they are.

Louis and Claudia travel Europe, eventually coming to Paris and the ragingly successful Theatre des Vampires--a theatre of vampires pretending to be mortals pretending to be vampires. Here they meet the magnetic and ethereal Armand, who brings them into a whole society of vampires. But Louis and Claudia find that finding others like themselves provides no easy answers and in fact presents dangers they scarcely imagined.

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll (1865-1876)

After a tumble down the rabbit hole, Alice finds herself far away from home in the absurd world of Wonderland. As mind-bending as it is delightful, Lewis Carroll’s 1865 novel is pure magic for young and old alike.

Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer (2001-2012)

Twelve-year-old Artemis Fowl is a millionaire, a genius—and, above all, a criminal mastermind. But even Artemis doesn't know what he's taken on when he kidnaps a fairy, Captain Holly Short of the LEPrecon Unit. These aren't the fairies of bedtime stories—they're dangerous! Full of unexpected twists and turns, Artemis Fowl is a riveting, magical adventure.

The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman (2008)

Bod is an unusual boy who inhabits an unusual place--he's the only living resident of a graveyard. Raised from infancy by the ghosts, werewolves, and other cemetery denizens, Bod has learned the antiquated customs of his guardians' time as well as their ghostly teachings--such as the ability to Fade so mere mortals cannot see him.

Can a boy raised by ghosts face the wonders and terrors of the worlds of both the living and the dead?

The Wheel of Time by Robert Jordan (1990-2013)

The Wheel of Time turns and Ages come and go, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth returns again. In the Third Age, an Age of Prophecy, the World and Time themselves hang in the balance. What was, what will be, and what is, may yet fall under the Shadow.

When The Two Rivers is attacked by Trollocs—a savage tribe of half-men, half-beasts— five villagers flee that night into a world they barely imagined, with new dangers waiting in the shadows and in the light.

Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman (1996)

Under the streets of London there's a place most people could never even dream of. A city of monsters and saints, murderers and angels, knights in armour and pale girls in black velvet. This is the city of the people who have fallen between the cracks.

Richard Mayhew, a young businessman, is going to find out more than enough about this other London. A single act of kindness catapults him out of his workday existence and into a world that is at once eerily familiar and utterly bizarre. And a strange destiny awaits him down here, beneath his native city: Neverwhere.

The Stormlight Archive by Brandon Sanderson (2010-present)

Roshar is a world of stone and storms. Uncanny tempests of incredible power sweep across the rocky terrain so frequently that they have shaped ecology and civilization alike. Animals hide in shells, trees pull in branches, and grass retracts into the soilless ground. Cities are built only where the topography offers shelter. 

It has been centuries since the fall of the ten consecrated orders known as the Knights Radiant, but their Shardblades and Shardplate remain: mystical swords and suits of armor that transform ordinary men into near-invincible warriors. Men trade kingdoms for Shardblades. Wars were fought for them, and won by them. 

One such war rages on a ruined landscape called the Shattered Plains. There, Kaladin, who traded his medical apprenticeship for a spear to protect his little brother, has been reduced to slavery. In a war that makes no sense, where ten armies fight separately against a single foe, he struggles to save his men and to fathom the leaders who consider them expendable. 

Brightlord Dalinar Kholin commands one of those other armies. Like his brother, the late king, he is fascinated by an ancient text called The Way of Kings. Troubled by over-powering visions of ancient times and the Knights Radiant, he has begun to doubt his own sanity. 

Across the ocean, an untried young woman named Shallan seeks to train under an eminent scholar and notorious heretic, Dalinar's niece, Jasnah. Though she genuinely loves learning, Shallan's motives are less than pure. As she plans a daring theft, her research for Jasnah hints at secrets of the Knights Radiant and the true cause of the war.

[nalyra-dreaming]

Oh I love these:

Jacob Anderson

On Sam Reid's performance as dream Lestat: "I noticed after we did a few scenes together with that dynamic, I would just notice Sam copying me. I would have to be like, 'OK, he's studying the way that I stand or the way that I say things. It's the story. It's what's supposed to be happening.' But occasionally I was like, 'I don't do that!' Now I've seen the season, and I'm like, 'It's genius.' I'm looking forward to seeing what Sam says about playing Louis, essentially. It's Lestat as Louis remembers him, filtered through the things that Louis doesn't want to say, and can't say. And maybe the things that Louis is embarrassed or ashamed about, Lestat just says it."

Sam Reid

On Lestat and Armand's relationship: "They have a very, very, very messy relationship. I think a big part of why Lestat didn't want to go back to France, in Season 1, when they were in New Orleans, is because he doesn't want to run into Armand. He doesn't want to see Armand. He's got a very, very complex relationship with him. It's not like he's like, "Ugh, Armand!" [Disgusted noise] It's like, "Ugh." [Exasperated noise] He's not twisty, turny, thinking about Armand every single day or whatever. He's like, "Ugh, I just would rather… Yeah, I don't want him around." But when he does the flick of his wrist when he thinks about Armand, he's also flicking a huge chunk of his life away."

Delainey Hayles

On Louis and Claudia's relationship: "The book became like my Bible in a way, where I was able to look back and look at how Anne Rice describes Claudia. And I was taking into consideration that it's been her and Louis for a very long time. As a child, you absorb your surroundings. Claudia has spent a lot of time with Louis over the past couple of years. So I think, in a way, his empathy kind of rubs off on her."

Assad Zaman

On the show's memory theme: "I personally think often we equate — if the memory's a little bit inaccurate, then the feeling isn't real. [But] if you think back to our childhood, we elaborate on the stories in our heads so much, and often the tiniest things, moments that meant a lot to us become bigger as we remember them. Time slows down or speeds up, and people become larger or smaller in our heads depending on how they made us feel in that time. I think [there's] a lot of that this season — when we go into Paris, I think that's where the performative nature comes into it. We get to really embrace those emotions. The love between Louis and Armand, the romance, is one of the most beautiful parts of it, the way it starts."

Eric Bogosian

On his experience working on the show: "To be working on such complex material and be asked to do things that I haven't done before, and to be working with such amazing creative team — I mean... I've been around. I'm not speaking from, like, this is my second show or my third show. This is like, my 35th show, or 60th, or something. So when I say that Rolin [Jones] is amazing, Hannah [Moscovitch] is amazing — that's our writing team — and that Jacob and Assad are amazing — these guys are very generous. And I think a lot about [how] when you go into deep work as an actor, you have to feel safe. I have definitely not been safe [in the past], especially with men. Men can be real jerks on set, and the audience can't see it, because we have to do our job. But if you're with a bully star, it's hard to go to where you need to go to. And Jacob, who's mainly who I'm working with, he's a very loving guy. Maybe people don't want to know this about him. Maybe I'm only supposed to say things like, 'In real life he's actually a vampire,' but in real life, he's actually a real, very sweet man. Very human."

Ben Daniels

On Santiago's approach to the theater: "It's like people trolling on Twitter. It's like, they're hidden behind the screen, but his screen is the fact that he's pretending to be a human. And he sort of is getting those mortals by the scruff of the neck and saying, 'Look at yourselves. Look how ridiculous and pathetic you are.' But they lap it up because they think it's a show."

THERE'S MORE!

[jqmalikhsgib]

sea view

two

varitymagazine

2,000,000 Likes

varietymagazine “fame just got to my head,” styles starts. “it was all my fault. im the reason my family was almost broken.” click the link in our bio to learn more about harry styles life, music, and more!

view all 10,000 comments

Harry Styles: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly! 

When we hear the name Harry Styles, most of us scream our lungs out. The ex One Direction member holds our hearts in his hands without batting an eyelash.

Harry Styles was born in Worcestershire, England February First to Anne Twist and Des Styles making Gemma Styles an older sister. Harry would describe his childhood like any other.

“I was just a normal kid, playing football in my backyard,” he states. “I’d make fun of my sister while she called me a butthead before we’d go and watch something on the telly.”

Styles opens up about being a child from divorce. “My mom and dad had problems. They’d fight here and there and Gem and I would just hold each other in one of our rooms. My parents finally decided enough was enough and separated. I was ten years old, somewhat heartbroken but ultimately relieved.”

When Harry was eleven he met the most loveliest woman he’d ever seen. She’d just moved from America with her dad and five older brothers. The moment Harry saw her, he just knew!

“I couldn’t keep my eyes off of yn. She was breathtaking. I had to get to know her!”

Harry and Yn relationship begins when they were only twelve years old. From that moment they were each others first love. Harry states he’s never felt love like the one he’s had with YN.

Harry opens up about his personal life with his wife and his kids. Including the moment they became teen parents.

“We were young and dumb. The only thing we were thinking about was each other. When she called me crying, telling me she’s pregnant, we were just about to hit fourteen. We’d just started high school and we were scared shitless. I ended up getting a job at the local bakery and our parents helped us as much as they could. When our son was born we never felt so much pride and joy. We created this tiny little human out of love. Nothing has ever made either of us feel more proud.” Styles goes on to say.

Harry then talks about his dream of being a singer. He opens up about how silly he thought it was, but how his mom, sister, and wife talked him into auditioning for the X-factor.

“If it weren’t for my family, I would have never went to that audition! My mom and sister always encouraged me to live my dream. In my head it was a given. ‘Of course they’ll say this, im their son and brother.’ I thought to myself. But YN wasn’t either, I guess it was different when I heard it from her.”

Styles smiles as he discussed how he use to sing their son [Corbin Styles] to sleep. “He’d have this huge smile on his face. Every single time he’d close his eyes, he’d fight his sleep just so he could hear me sing. That’s really when I knew, I gotta audition!”

In that moment, Harry’s life changed forever! He was apart of the biggest boyband in the world, One Direction. Being put into a group with four other boys [Liam Payne, Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan, and Zayn Malik] Harry talks about his relationship with each band member.

“Being put into a group with four different boys was difficult, sure! Of course it was exciting and love there in the beginning. We’re just five boys who had the same dream. But we’re also five boys with five different personalities, five different voices, five different views of the world, five different love stories. We bumped heads a lot, especially towards the end,” Styles states. “I think after four years of constant tour, no breaks, arguments, screaming, and barely seeing our families, we were all kinda done. At this moment I was married to YN, she was pregnant with payton, so I wanted to be there for her and both of our kids more. Louis was about to have his own baby, Liam was dealing with his own battles, Niall had family troubles, and Zayn had left the band. We were all kinda worn out. It was time we ventured out on our own and see where life would take us. In a way, it made our relationship better. Niall, Louis, and Liam are all uncles to my children. Zayn was my best friend in the band, he was named god-dad.”

We asked Harry about his first album, how it came about. “It was simple really! I’ve been writing my own music for a long time. I went to Jamaica with my wife and kids and it was lovely. I put together my own band, figured out which songs I wanted out there, and once it was ready, we set a date and even prepared for tour.” Harry smiles at the memory. Though it never reached his face.

This is when we asked him about his second album. Fine Line had been release two years after his self titled album, Harry Styles. Hearing it makes your heart break.

Harry talks about his relationship with wife. He opens up about his arrogance, ignorance, and his affair[s].

“I’m not gonna sugar coat it, I was a shit husband for a long time,” Harry tells us. “The moment we made it big, I’d get this big head and think, ‘fuck im the shit!’ so many women wanted me and would do anything to have me. I was weak and stupid. They all knew I was married with kids, I never hid that from my fans or obviously the women id sleep with.” Harry takes a deep breath. “YN and I would constantly argue. She’d cry herself to sleep at night when I didn’t come home or back to our hotel room when the boys and I were on tour. I remember when she packed her bag and left me.”

Harry wipes his tears before he continues. “It was around the last few legs of tour. I’d been sorta seeing at least two women regularly. [for privacy reasons harry didn’t mention names] She wrote me a note, stating she couldn’t do this anymore. She told me I either needed to get my shit together or she’d divorce me and get full custody. In this moment I knew, I needed to find myself again. Once tour was over, I flew to Japan, took a few friends, began the process of writing fine line, and went to therapy. I was gonna do everything in my power to get my family back together. from there, YN, me, and the kids would work on our new dynamic. I was slowly getting my family back.” Harry states.

Harry opens up about how a lot of the fans blamed YN during the time they’d been split up.

“I wanna clear this up, YN had nothing to do with our split. A lot of people assumed she’d been the one cheating or using me. She was always faithful and couldn’t care less if I had millions or pennies. She loved me for me. Fame just got to my head,” Styles starts. “It was my fault. I’m the reason my family was almost broken.”

YN has been known to be vocal to people who constantly hate on her. Harry opens up about the relationship she has with his fanbase.

“I think if you can’t respect your favorite artist relationship, you’re not a real fan. Truth is, YN is my wife. I almost lost her years ago, I’m not gonna lose her over something so petty. She’s the mother of my children and my wife. People should respect that!” Styles states. He continues to talk about her social media comments and post.

“She can do whatever she wants! I don’t control her, nor does my team! YN has always been very open when it comes to our marriage. She’s not gonna sensor herself simply because others can’t get the hint. That’s one of the many things I love about her!” Styles finished.

During our interview, Harry opens up about his next album before he leaves.

“The next albums gonna be filled with more love than anything. I think this one will be filled with dancing, smiles, and laughter. I’m really excited to share it with the world.” Harry states before he politely shakes our hands and walks over to his family.

[yourlocalbadgerscales]

”If I could draw I’d draw fanarts!”

“If I could draw I’d draw my OCs”

“If I could paint I’d paint all the ideas in my head and become rich!”

If I could draw and paint I would completely erase this portrait of J.K Rowling in a book from my childhood, and draw a picture of Imane Khelif there instead.

This is my copy and it’s in Swedish, btw.

The original title of this book is Good Night Stories For Rebel Girls 2. It’s the second book out of two. This is the first one.

These two books were my childhood. Do you have any idea how empowering it is for a young girl like me, feeling alone in a world that seems to become crueller by the day, a girl who feels unheard by adults, to read these kind of books? I have plenty other books like these, too! These were my two favourites.

Two books filled with strong, powerful and cool women who have changed the world in one way or another! Reading these books inspired me so, so much as a little girl. I couldn’t get enough of these two-page stories about women who were brave and stood up for what was right. Women from so many different countries and backgrounds. It was beautiful. These books were how I found out about most of my biggest idols today: Malala Yousafzai, Greta Thunberg, Anne Frank, Emma Watson etc.

As I said, these books are my childhood. Another series of books that played a huge part of my childhood are the Harry Potter books.

As a little kid, I had no idea about who Joanne truly was. All I knew was that she was an author, and I dreamed about becoming an author one day. And Joanne had written one of my favourite series of all time. Of course I looked up to her! I especially remember looking at the drawing of her in Good Night Stories For Rebel Girls 2, admiring it very much.

I have grown up. I still love Harry Potter, the series played a massive role in my childhood and it’s been there to comfort me in my hardest times. But I do not support the author, now that I’ve heard about and read the tweets she has made about trans women. It’s disgusting, what she’s said about trans women in the past, what she still says, and what she’s tweeted about Imane Khelif recently… I’ve knows for years now what she’s all about.

It hurts, you know. As a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, it hurts to know that the series I love so dearly, the series that always makes me feel better, is written by a person who has no respect whatsoever towards half of my friend group and other trans people. None. She is a horrible human being, and it hurts to know that.

Knowing that her face, her name and her story is written in yet another book in my bookshelf, that her presence is constant in my room, makes me sick to my stomach and has done so for a long time now. Ever since I remembered a while back that she’s in this book, this wonderful book about women who have made the world a better place and continue fighting daily, women I look up to so much… I’ve had this sick feeling in my stomach, because she does not belong in this book. She isn’t a feminist. She excludes trans women from womanhood and accuses cis women of being trans or intersex based on their strength and talent in sports. Based on a supposed high level of testosterone? Joanne is cruel, and she’s rude, and she is not a person kids should be taught to look up to. Not after all she’s done.

Earlier today, I was thinking about this again. And as so many times before, I wished that I myself was a talented artist. This is something I’ve thought about before, but for different reasons. I’ve always wished I could draw portraits and pretty paintings. Fanarts for my favourite ships that I can only picture in my head but not transfer to paper. I’ve always loved drawing, but I’ve never been too good at it. Now I desperately wish that I was.

Because if I was a talented artist, I would grab my pens and paint and brushes, and I would cover up the portrait of J. K Rowling in my book. I would make a whole new portrait in its place, a portrait of another woman I look up to, a strong and beautiful and brave woman. A women called Imane Khelif.

And I’d get rid of the page full of facts and stories about Rowling, I’d tear it apart and throw it away and replace it with the story of Imane Khelif, the one woman Rowling cannot tolerate because of her talent for boxing. I can write. I can’t draw, but I can write. I so wish I could do both right now, because if I truly could trust myself with fully remaking two book pages, I would do it without hesitation.

Imane Khelif’s story deserves to be told. J.K Rowling’s story deserves to be told with seriousness, and grief because of what she has become. This woman could have been a successful author and a beloved feminist, and she could have left it at that. Sadly, she chose a path of hatred and cyber bullying. She chose this journey for herself, and I am sorry for everyone who got their childhood ruined because of it. Heck, I’m sorry for her even, but I still know in my heart that she has no excuses for what she has done. I despise her.

Kids need to be warned about TERFs, not trans women.

Collage made by @thingsmk1120sayz (I will delete it immediately if you ask me to, love <3)

I stand by Imane Khelif. I stand by the girls who grew up to be strong and wonderful women, the women who made their childhood dreams reality and won medals in the Olympics, the women who became successful artists, the women who reached their goals and ended up writing bestseller books loved by generations.

I stand by them, and I love them. But I feel nothing but hatred and pity towards J. K Rowling. Fuck her twisted beliefs. Much love to Imane Khelif!

Edit: I would like to clarify, Good Night Stories For Rebel Girls 2 was released 2017. I have no idea when Joanne started spreading her transphobic views on social media. Feel free to educate me on reblogs and comments! Anyways, I don’t think that the authors of this book, Elena Favilli and Francesca Cavallo, meant to cause any harm by putting Rowling in their book. Either this was before Rowling started tweeting transphobic things, or the authors didn’t know about her being a TERF (I doubt the latter). So please don’t send any hate to these wonderful authors! If you want to send them questions regarding their books, I’m pretty sure you’re free to do so! xx

[quibbler-quirks]

Perfect Imperfections - Ominis x fem!Reader

Summary: Ominis asks MC to the Yule Ball. Or at least that was his plan.

Word count: 1.5k

Tags/warnings: she/her pronouns, a little bit of angst, assumed Triwizard Champion MC

A/N: Thank you for all of the love for my first post! I am truly not a writer, but Ominis has been bringing me lots of comfort. Just a little scenario I thought of~ I hope you enjoy!

-------

It was a terrible misunderstanding really.

Upon the end of her fifth year, MC had thought she had seen all the wizarding world had to offer. Magical prowess beyond her wildest dreams, a goblet of flames spitting out perfectly unburnt paper, and friends that seemed to transcend consequence. That is why strolling into the Transfiguration Courtyard as silent snowflakes fell from the sky, she could not understand why the pale hands of a certain Ominis Gaunt were in the hands of a particularly bubbly Anne Sallow.

It was not as if Ominis and MC were officially courting, but MC had thought after what had happened in their fifth year, they truly had a chance to become friends in their sixth and seemingly more in their seventh.

In her unoccupied hand, Anne held a beautiful bouquet of white roses and snowdrops, sprinkled with opulent green ferns and frosted holly berries. The perfect bouquet to ask someone to the Yule Ball with and with sudden clarity, it all made sense. Ominis had invited Anne to the Ball and not herself. Of course, nothing could triumph a childhood love, especially not after going through extreme measures to find a cure for Anne. MC knew Ominis had cared deeply for Anne throughout their search, but she felt embarrassed by her own ignorance realizing his care was out of love for the Sallow twin. 

With the sight of the bouquet blurring, MC continued hastily through the courtyard into the Defence Against the Dark Arts Tower, hoping no one could see the tears that welled in her eyes.

-------

“Bombarda!” a barrel explodes into splinters.

“Confringo!” a suit of armour topples to the ground.

How could she have been so blind? So selfish? While her feelings for the Gaunt boy had blossomed, it did not mean his feelings had done the same. Frustrated between being happy for her friends and heartbroken, MC lashed out spell after spell, aiming at particularly nowhere. The Undercroft was alight with flashes of colours as if someone had set off fireworks. She should be happy for them. Both were such kind souls and had helped each other through thick and thin, but thoughts of how well they matched did not comfort her. Besides, she had bigger things to worry about.

Continuing to bellow out spells, MC did not notice Sebastian had been watching her for some time, unsure of how to stop her. 

Suddenly, the gates of the Undercroft were once again creaking open, but MC’s shouts deafened her senses.

“MC?” called out Ominis.

“She’s been at it for centuries,” Sebastian remarks. “I can’t seem to get her to calm down.”

“What did you do?”

“Why do you always assume it was me?”

“Because it is always you, Sebastian,” Ominis grunts, “if it was not you, then what happened?”

“That… is a fair point,” Sebastian admits in defeat. “I’m not sure, I just know she has been like this since I got here. Practicing for the next challenge maybe? You can give it a go, but I’m going to find somewhere else to read. Good luck.”

The room felt a lot emptier since Ominis had last been there. Hearing Sebastian’s footsteps fade up the stairs, Ominis could also hear just how sharply the spells echoed off of the Undercroft’s stone walls. As if none of the crates and barrels he knew to be placed there existed at all. 

“I’m sorry love,” he whispers, directing his wand to the voice of MC. “Arresto momentum.”

Time suddenly stops for MC and her mouth fails to produce another coherent word.

“Reparo!”

The shattered state of the Undercroft begins to repair itself as Ominis carefully strolls over to MC, bringing down her arms and tucking her body into his chest. He could feel her wet tears seep through his wool jumper. Just how much had she been crying?

“What did you do?” the voice of Anne Sallow shrieks.

“Again, why does everyone always assume it was me!” Sebastian retaliates as the twins reappear at the base of the Undercroft.

Slightly embarrassed his childhood friends might have seen him holding their mutual friend quite intimately, Ominis jumps away, a blush rising to his ears. 

Seeing the tears falling down her best friend’s face, Anne rushes over to MC, bouquet forgotten on the floor, ready to embrace her. “What did my oaf of a brother do this time?”

Suddenly processing the other people present in the Undercroft, MC wipes her tears and tries to compose herself. “I’m sorry I didn’t see you come in! Don’t worry, Sebastian didn’t do anything… this time… that I know of...”

“Hey-” Sebastian starts.

“Never mind him then. My brother said you were crying as he was coming out of the Undercroft. Is everything okay, MC?”

“Yes, no worries! I’m sorry for worrying you! I was just, erm, worried about the upcoming challenge? Lots to practice I’m afraid”

“That’s bullocks,” Sebastian scoffs, “the Second Task isn’t for another two months! You’ll be fine.”

“Well, something must be on your mind,” Anne says, voice laced with concern.

“Maybe it’s just the Triwizard Tournament in general! There’s so much going on! Seriously, Anne, I’m fitter than a Fwooper! I just came from Professor Weasley’s office and I suppose the pressure really got to me,” MC forces a smile, eyes dropping to the fallen bouquet that lay near Ominis’ feet. “Besides, we have the holidays and the Ball to look forward to! We still have to go shopping for your dress, Anne! Even if our dear friend can’t see how stunning you will look, I think it will still be nice to dress up,” she continues to ramble on, gaze unmoving from the bouquet.

Slowly putting together the puzzle pieces, Anne gasps and steps back from MC in shock. Looking at the fallen bouquet, the Gaunt boy’s red ears, then her friend’s tear-stained face, she realizes MC must have seen her and Ominis in the courtyard on her way to the Undercroft. It really was a terrible misunderstanding.

“You, Gaunt, have some fixing to do,” pointing at the poor boy despite his lack of sight. She huffs over, picking up and shoving the bouquet into his arms.

“What did I do?” he pleads, genuinely concerned.

“Yeah! Why do you always assume it’s us?” Sebastian cries out again.

“Boys…” Anne mutters, dragging her brother back up the stairs past the gate. “I think you have something important to address.”

And with a final grit of her teeth, the Sallow twins disappear back into the tower, leaving a baffled MC and an even more confused Ominis.

Feeling the leaves of the once pristine bouquet tickle his chin, Ominis searches his mind for any reason Anne would ruin the surprise he had prepared.

“That really is a lovely bouquet. Anne is very lucky,” MC breaks the silence.

Oh… Oh! Cursing under his breath, Ominis finally understands what Anne had meant. Oh, this was not going according to plan at all.

Eyes opened wide and stammering over his words, Ominis speaks, “No! No, you are mistaken! These aren’t for Anne! Why would I give such a thing to Anne? A bouquet? That’s ridiculous. Not that bouquets are ridiculous or that I wouldn’t give anything to Anne..” Taking a deep breath, he finishes, “This was meant for you.”

Slightly shocked, MC starts, “But I saw you and Anne in the courtyard and I thought–”

“These were meant for you! I mean, these are for you, love.”

“I don’t think I’m quite following.”

Ominis approaches her carefully, reaching out for her hands and gently placing the bouquet in them. “I am asking you if I could have the honour of accompanying you to the Yule Ball.”

MC’s jaw drops in shock. Too stunned to say anything.

“That is if you are not already going with someone. I know it is rather late of me to ask, but I had this whole thing planned where I was going to–”

Then suddenly his words are cut off by the feeling of lips pressed against his. It is short and it is sweet. It is clumsy but evidently full of love. Everything a first kiss could ever be.

Breaking the contact, MC steps back, clutching the bouquet in her arms. “Wow, what a mess and a fool I am… I didn’t think you were going to ask. I would love that very much, Ominis.”

Smiling and reaching out to place his hands on top of MC’s, Ominis chuckles, “What a mess indeed. I apologize for all of the trouble I have caused. Anne actually was the one helping me pick out the flowers for you. I wanted them to be even a fraction as beautiful as you are, little dove.”

“They are perfect.”

“Not as perfect as you.”

-------

Bonus:

“OH! I UNDERSTAND NOW!” Sebastian shouts. “That sly dog! Took him long enough.”

“Boys…” Anne grumbles again, but holds back a smile as she watches Ominis and MC hand in hand walking across the courtyard where just moments before everything went astray.

[batrachised]

"I first read Anne of Green Gables to my grade 3 class in Vernon River. When we got to the chapter in which Matthew dies, we all sat still and quiet until one student said, “I didn’t know a teacher could cry.”'

-Deirdre Kessler, a former Poet Laureate of P.E.I. 

"I recall reading Montgomery at specific times and in particular places. I remember reading Anne of Avonlea with my best friend in her back yard after our grade 5 teacher had read Anne of Green Gables aloud to the class. We were hooked. I reread Anne of Green Gables and Anne’s House of Dreams in a residence room at Carleton University when I was preparing to go to Nigeria as a CUSO teacher. I read Volume I of The Selected Journals of L.M. Montgomery while watching my young daughter play at a park. In more recent years I have gone directly to those passages that sustain me. I marvel at how deeply the words on the page connect writer and reader."

-Margaret Steffler, Professor Emerita at Trent University

"I grew up 27 kilometres and 98 years from Lucy Maud Montgomery: nearer in space than in time to her life and her creations. Growing up a writer within that circumference, it was hard to say if Maud cast a shadow or a gleam across the literary landscape and Island imagination. In the shadow of saccharine oversimplifications and commercialization, the writer was tempted always to challenge, to write against her legacy. But on an August day by a brook or on a December evening meeting a sharp-tongued character with a sharp eye on Island cultural characteristics, the writer is required to recalibrate: to recognize that we write, here, in her gleam. Happy 150 years since that first glimmer."

-Jane Ledwell, PEI writer

"For the past ten years I have lived in a small town in central Pennsylvania. (You can’t buy twenty pounds of brown sugar at the hardware store, but it’s that kind of place.) It’s nice enough, but it isn’t home. As someone who grew up in Toronto – attended a girls’ school – and then went east, I was probably fated to identify with Jane Stuart, Jane of Lantern Hill. I wasn’t born on the Island; I can’t make jam; and I was born decades too late to take the train from Union Station across on the Tormentine ferry. But I thrill to mornings on the Island and long for its sea winds, and just like Jane, I live through being away by never really being away: “Because in a very real sense Jane was still living on the Island.” I may live here, but I am there.

I’m glad that L.M. Montgomery understood how that feels."

-Claire Campbell is a double expatriate, a Canadian living in the United States and an Upper Canadian-born who misses the Maritimes.

"To me, teaching Anne of Green Gables in Iran was an unexpected journey that brought profound inspiration and hope. Little did I know that this classic tale of Anne Shirley’s resilience and feisty spirit would become a beacon of empowerment for my predominantly female students. Their connection with Anne's unwavering determination and her strong character ignited a spark within them that eventually helped spark an uprising against a relentless dictatorship. Witnessing these remarkable young women, who had once found solace in Anne's story, rise up against four decades of draconian rule in Iran has been nothing short of awe-inspiring. The Iranian women have taken the lessons of Anne’s perseverance to heart and channeled that spirit into a courageous struggle for justice and freedom. This is a testament to the enduring power of literature and the indomitable spirit of those who dare to dream of a better world."

-Sam Roodi, professor of Global Citizenship at Fanshawe College in London, Ontario, Canada

"Recollections of childhood reading experiences tend to blur repetitively, but, for me, one memory is categorically singular. I was nine years old, home from school sick. My dad, on his way to work, stuck his head inside my bedroom door and said, “Here, try this.” He handed me a blue hardback of Anne of Green Gables. When he returned that night, I had finished it. For that whole day, I lived inside the skin of a different person. In a blur of astonishment and devastation, I learned that it was possible for a beloved fictional character to die. And I explicitly knew I was a different Margaret from the one who had woken up that morning. I remember my startled recognition, in so many words, that Thornton Burgess’s animal stories – hitherto completely satisfying – would never be quite the same again.  My life as a reader had suddenly and irrevocably expanded."

-Margaret Mackey is Professor Emerita in the School of Library and Information Studies at the University of Alberta

"You inspired my mother to be a writer, when she was a little girl in Texas; you inspired my father, in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia, to see beauty all around. My little sister is named for your Anne. Every day I think about or read your work and try to imagine who you were within and between the lines. Thank you, thank you for giving me so many reasons and ways to read, to write, to connect with others, and to be."

-Elizabeth Rollins Epperly

"Maud’s writing first spoke to me when my own world had gone very quiet. I dwelt in a small town in regional Australia and was rarely able to leave my home due to chronic illness. Instead, I lived vicariously through her tales of girls and young women on an equally small island, about as far away from my own as it was possible to be. She showed me that life lived on a domestic scale could be just as vivid as that on the wider horizon. Unable to travel elsewhere, I gained strength from Pat’s decision to remain in a home to which she was so powerfully attached. Later, as a young teacher in a rural boarding school, I found comfort in my isolated state from Emily’s example of writing through her difficult feelings. Later still, when I reached Oxford, it was Anne’s experiences at university and her rich relationships with the kindred spirits she found there that resonated with special force. Maud’s words have been inscribed on each stage of my life, a tapestry of experiences that I have shared with her remarkable heroines, and which I will continue to weave in the decades yet to come."

-Chelsea Wallis

"My Maud testimonial begins with Brenda K Weber's testimonial. At an LMMI conference decades ago, she recalled a stuffy academic party during which a graduate student had approached her to make small talk. The student had a shaved head and a well-known enthusiasm for science fiction, and he wore black sneakers to this department party. When she told him she was about to attend a conference on Montgomery, his eyes lit up. "I love Emily of New Moon!" he exclaimed, and went on to babble about it for the next ten minutes. I love Weber's story as a reminder that we will find kindred spirits in the most unexpected places. I also love it because the graduate student in that story...was me. I discovered Weber's paper years later, and I think it captures me perfectly: a little too extraverted, a little fashion-ignorant, and still completely in love with Emily."

-Joe Sutliff Sanders is a specialist in children’s media in the Faculty of Education at the University of Cambridge

"I open the cocoa-splattered, tatty book. Hand-written – hand-scrawled – memories of sensory pleasure: spicy, sugary, crunchy, hearty, homey. I open my mother’s falling-apart recipe book. In it are generations of recipes, passed on from great-grandmothers, grandmothers, sisters, aunts, friends, daughters, and daughters-in-law. A whole museum of feminine companionship.

You, too, held such a collection – a testimony to your own experiences of motherhood, of sisterhood, of friendship, of love. And when I open Anne of Green Gables, The Anne of Green Gables Cookbook, and then also Aunt Maud's Recipe Book, I share in these experiences. I find recipes to add to my own cocoa-splattered, tatty, hand-written recipe book. Liniment cake (with vanilla this time) made for birthdays, raspberry tarts for Sunday afternoon fun, ice cream that tastes of clouds … I open these books and I find comfort; I find love; I find motherhood."

-Daniella Dedekind is currently completing her MA at the University of Pretoria, South Africa

"On a recent spring day, I glanced out the window of my fourth-floor apartment and saw a flurry of white crab apple blossoms fluttering gracefully through the air, dancing upward on the wind. The whole urban landscape was transformed, and in that moment, I felt so thankful, not only for this glimpse of the wild nature of my city, but also for Montgomery and her nature-loving heroines, who taught me about Snow Queens and Wind Women and Flashes and how to live each day with eyes and heart and mind open to the beautiful surprises of the world around me. "

-Tara Parmiter is a Clinical Professor of Expository Writing at New York University.

"When I was in the third grade, my mother bought me Anne of Green Gables as a birthday present. I kept asking for sequels every year, and when I was in junior high, I learned that Prince Edward Island was a real place. During my university years, I visited the Island for the first time and stayed for three weeks. After several trips and working with a travel agency, I landed a job as a tour guide on PEI.

At first, I just liked to see the various seasons described in Montgomery’s books; then I wanted to feel the joy of spring after a long winter. Before I knew it, it had been 28 years in PEI.  Again, this spring, I'll go into the woods looking for mayflowers. Gilbert's love, expressed through gathering these small flowers for Anne, still touches my heart after all these years."

-Katsue Masuda 

"Like so many of us, my introduction to L.M. Montgomery came in childhood, at a time when I read voraciously, so hungry for departure. Back then, I had no clear sense of myself as a lesbian, but I knew intuitively that something about me was strange and “different” – or, as Montgomery herself might have put it, “queer.”

Because, at the time, there were so few novels for young readers with LGBTQ+ characters, I learned to find myself in other, less overt mirrors. It was in Montgomery’s books that I saw the clearest echoes of my own unarticulated desires. Emily Byrd Starr’s world is populated by older, unmarried female characters who show no interest in finding male partners. Valancy Stirling casts off the constraints of her disapproving family to pursue the existence she wants for herself. And Montgomery gave me Katherine Brooke in Anne of Windy Poplars, arguably her most overtly queer character.

I know, of course, that Montgomery wasn’t writing for readers who were gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender – and I know her opinions on lesbianism, expressed with such vehemence in her diaries – but she was writing for those of us who were “queer,” in the broader sense of the term. I’d like to think that she’d be able to understand my deep gratitude for the ways her work has always made me feel seen."

-Katharine Slater is an associate professor of children’s and young adult literature at Rowan University

"When my fifth-grade teacher read Anne of Green Gables to my class in the sixties, it was the comedic episodes of Anne dying her hair green and getting Diana drunk that made the book enticing. Throughout the decades since, as I aged and my interests changed, there was something new that appealed to me with each reading: a description of a beautiful garden as I planted one of my own, a reference to a special type of needlework as I learned to quilt, a humorous episode about Anne’s attempts in the kitchen as I also struggled in this regard, the love and bond between Anne and Marilla as I experienced those same emotions with my children and grandchild."

-Joanne Lebold

"L.M. Montgomery has not just inspired my family; she has shaped it. My great-grandma Cora first read the books aloud to her students in a one-room schoolhouse. Her daughter, my grandma Penny, and her daughter, my mother Christy, spent countless family vacations tracking down old copies of Montgomery’s books. It is pretty easy to figure out where my name and my sister’s came from (Emily and Anne, naturally). Montgomery has inspired our travel, showed us the joy in unraveling historical puzzles, supplied countless treasured memories, and connected us to friends all over the world. We have studied, collected, honoured, researched, discussed, savoured and loved Montgomery’s works. And we’ve done it all together. We have learned that Montgomery’s legacy is not just literary; it is intergenerational and personal."

-Emily Woster

#maud150 is a collection of tributes for Maud's 150th birthday. the above are a handful of my favorites.

[theblackhate]

Knowledge pt.2

check the other parts here!

Summary:

The story begins the same for everyone, on the day of the ceremony, one of the most important for all the kids who take part in it every year, and Michelle will not miss the opportunity to leave behind a faction that she did not feel belonged to her.

On her journey, however, she will encounter someone who will make her initiation feel like hell.

Pairing: Eric Coulter x reader

Word count: 8.8k

It was strange to wake up knowing that your life would change drastically in a few hours. Ellie felt a sense of emptiness as she stared at the ceiling, contemplating whether the Dauntless were the right faction for her.

She was told to trust the Test, that it would make the choice easier, but she couldn't shake the feeling that Dauntless wasn't the right place for her. She saw them every day at school and in the city, running, climbing buildings fearlessly, and imagining herself among them seemed impossible.

With great slowness, she got up, observing her room for the last time. A wave of nostalgia washed over her as she looked at the place where she had spent her childhood, where she spent hours playing with Anne and her father.

Her father.

What would he think of her result? Would he be pleased or outraged by the fact that his only daughter wouldn't carry on his dynasty in Candor?

She grabbed clothes similar to yesterday's from the wardrobe, not thinking that wearing a skirt would be a wise choice if she chose Dauntless. She tied her hair into a tight bun and noticing that she was early, she took the opportunity to spend some time at home.

She would leave everything behind, the practically sterile rooms, empty, devoid of life. In the entire house, only her room seemed lived in, with some drawings on the walls and photos attached here and there.

Looking at a small photo of her and Anne, she wondered whether to take it with her or not, to have a memory of her when they wouldn't see each other anymore. She sighed, thinking about the events of the previous day, about Anne's hostility towards her for no reason.

What had happened? What had triggered such a reaction in Anne?

Her best friend, the kindest and gentlest girl she had ever known.

She sniffled, feeling tears welling up in her eyes, and decided that maybe it was time to go, to leave behind what she hadn't considered home for years. She should be happy to start a new life, to live her dream of being free, but the unknown scared her; she didn't know what she was about to face.

Leaving the house, she grabbed one of their photos, one of the most recent ones, and tucked it into her pocket, hoping to keep it throughout the initiation. It was the only thing she truly cared about having, not even her sketchbook with her drawings was as important.

The journey to the hall where the Choosing Ceremony would take place was relatively close to her home. She didn't bother to rush to be among the first, knowing that, like every year, there would be a few minutes of delay.

She tried to enjoy the last moments in the neighborhood where she lived, the area of the city where the Candor spent most of their lives. As boring as it might seem with all those white skyscrapers, she didn't mind; the Candor were minimalists, and it was one of the few things Ellie appreciated about them.

It was home after all, but it wasn't the right home for her.

Unconsciously, she looked around for Anne, but the girl was nowhere to be seen; most likely, she was already at the Choosing Ceremony with her parents.

She envied her from that perspective, having a nice family that always supported her in everything she did. They didn't care if Anne didn't always tell the truth; they didn't mind if she didn't follow in their footsteps, and least of all, they allowed her the freedom to discover herself.

On the contrary, Ellie felt like a failure despite being one of the best in her class, even outperforming the Erudite students who attended the same lessons. But for her mother, it was never enough; she didn't study enough, didn't talk enough, wasn't honest enough.

She couldn't remember if her mother had always been like this or if she had changed after her husband's disappearance, but deep down, she wondered if it was her fault, if she had been too difficult as a child when she was young.

The day was better compared to yesterday; the sun wasn't too hot, and a gentle breeze cooled her face. If Anne were there with her, she would have joked about how she looked like a ghost, her pale skin matching her white jacket.

From a distance, she began to see the hall where the ceremony would take place, and she felt a lump form in her throat, the anxiety of making the wrong choice. What if Dauntless wasn't the right choice for her? She couldn't go back; she would have to become factionless.

Groups of people arrived slowly, families and friends joking outside the hall as they enjoyed their last moments together. Ellie looked at the people beside her, wondering how many of her peers would leave their original faction to start a new life like her.

A loud noise caught her attention, and turning around, she saw the Dauntless train speeding along the railway. One by one, they began jumping off the cars, miraculously landing on their feet and continuing to run.

It was a mass of black and red with an added splash of color due to the unusual hair that many of the younger ones sported. She wondered if, after the initiation, she would become like them too.

She shook her head at the idea because she would never be one of them. She would never go so far as to get strange hairstyles with odd colors, wear overly revealing shirts, or ripped pants.

If she were to join them and pass the initiation, could she truly become one of them?

What caught her attention, however, were some of their tattoos. From simple designs to intricate masterpieces, they covered much of their skin.

That was what truly fascinated Ellie about their way of life—the freedom to express themselves in any way imaginable.

Ellie lingered outside for a while longer, enjoying the warmth of the sun on her face. She was afraid she wouldn't be brave enough to join the Dauntless.

When she saw people hurrying to enter, she followed, her heart pounding with fear and excitement at finally realizing her dream. She was scared, filled with insecurities, but as she climbed the stairs and saw the five bowls representing the different factions, her thought became clear.

She had five options, but only one choice.

The hall was filled with colors divided into five rows, and Ellie took her place among the Candor, scanning the crowd for Anne. She found her shortly after, seated between her mother and father, rigid in her chair; she was only a few rows ahead of Ellie, yet at the same time, she seemed so distant, unreachable.

She wanted to take advantage of the remaining minutes to go to her, bid her a final farewell, but someone took a seat on both sides of her, trapping her.

The hall fell silent as Jeanine Matthews, the leader of the Erudite faction, stepped onto the pedestal to begin her speech about the Choosing Ceremony.

Every year, a leader from a different faction would present, but Ellie, like others, noticed how over the years Jeanine became increasingly present at these events, like a vulture on a carcass.

Ellie had to admit she respected the woman's ambition, but she found her presence a bit too insistent.

"The faction system is a living organism composed of cells, all of you. And the only way it can survive and thrive is for each of you to claim your rightful place. The future belongs to those who know where they belong."

Her voice echoed in the silent hall, the sound of her heels as she moved in front of the bowls creating a hypnotic rhythm. Her custom-tailored blue attire gave her a distinguished, important look as she held a tablet in her hand.

"Now it's your turn, your chance to choose your future. Don't be afraid, but remember one important thing: faction before blood," the last phrase was echoed by the entire room, by the teenagers and their parents.

It was a concept many didn't agree with, but still respected. Leaving everything behind was difficult; many couldn't bear the distance. However, to allow their city to function effectively, it was the only way.

Ellie agreed, finding that the most important thing to do after changing factions was to rid themselves of the memories that anchored them to their original faction. Perhaps her perception of things was influenced by the way she herself had lived her childhood, alone, without anyone on her side.

Except for Anne.

She squeezed the photo she held in her pocket between her fingers for some comfort. The more Jeanine spoke, the slower time seemed to pass for her, as if every word that came out of her mouth was drawn out as much as possible to increase the anticipation.

But hers was just a perception; a few seconds later, they began calling out the names of the teenagers. One by one, they stepped forward to choose their future.

The list was in alphabetical order, so it wouldn't be long before her turn came, but in the meantime, she watched the kids she had grown up with, gone to school with, change their destiny.

Her fingertips tingled with excitement, the realization of truly being there hitting her all at once. It was her moment, her chance to finally have a good life.

"Maxim Anderson," a boy from the Abnegation section stood up, ran his hand through his curly red hair, and adjusted his glasses. He was short, but the way he walked exuded authority and confidence.

He took the dagger that Marcus Eaton, representing the government within the city, offered. Maxim took it with confidence, making a cut perhaps deeper than necessary on the palm of his hand, then clasped his hand over the bowl containing the burning coals.

Dauntless.

The boys from the Dauntless faction cheered, and Maxim raised his arms in the air, joining in their jubilation. He was welcomed with warm hugs and pats on the back, taking a seat in the front row where a Dauntless boy offered him a place.

"Chloe Andrew."

Ellie's head snapped towards the row in front of her, where Chloe Andrew, one of the most insolent girls in her faction, descended the stairs with confident steps until she reached the pedestals where the five bowls were placed.

Surprisingly, she also chose Dauntless, leaving behind a shattered family. Ellie watched her own family, seated in front of her, despairing; her little sister tried to hold back tears while her mother stroked her head.

Her father, on the other hand, remained motionless, a stoic expression as he observed his daughter from afar. Ex daughter now.

Ellie's attention returned once again to Anne, who was still nervously biting her cuticles, anxiety consuming her from within.

Several more names were called, and many of them remained loyal to their original faction, returning to their families who embraced them happily. Ellie felt a pang of jealousy watching the parents hold their children close, kissing them, knowing they could grow old with them.

"Anne Bishop." Anne's name was called, and the trembling girl made her way to stand in front of the five bowls. She took the dagger with shaking hands and very slowly made a small cut to draw blood, but she remained still, contemplating her choice.

Ellie tried to get a better view of the scene, to understand what Anne was undecided about, but she was too far away to see clearly; it took her much longer than the other kids, and she could hear the whispers of the confused people around her. She was confused too, what was Anne waiting for?

Then, all of a sudden, Anne reached out and let drops of blood fall into the bowl containing the soil.

"Amity!" declared Marcus Eaton, smiling at the crowd, but Ellie's attention was fixed on her best friend, on how her expression was anything but happy, on how she tried to hide her tears while keeping her gaze low.

"Ellie Black."

It took her a second to realize that her name had been called, rising with great calm as if at any moment the ground would give way beneath her. She felt all eyes on her as she descended one step at a time, placing one foot cautiously in front of the other.

Was it really her moment?

She nodded politely to Jeanine Matthews, who returned it with a polite smile, watching her closely as she went to retrieve the dagger from Marcus Eaton.

Jeanine was curious; she knew Ellie's father, and over the years, she also got to know her mother. They were extraordinary people, in her opinion, wasted in Candor. They had minds worth millions of dollars, the kind of people who could change your life.

Both born Erudite, they had chosen to change factions at the age of sixteen. Jeanine had heard about Ellie Black, a girl in Candor who kept to herself too much and always seemed to get into trouble.

Ellie took the dagger Marcus offered, gripping the handle between her fingers. She observed it, pressing it against the palm of her hand, but didn't cut herself. She remembered her simulation from the day before.

What would have happened if she had plunged the blade into her palm? Would it have hurt?

To her, it felt like she stood in front of the bowls with the dagger in her hand for hours, but she knew only a few seconds had passed. She positioned herself in front of the Dauntless bowl and with a swift motion, she cut her palm, letting the blood drip onto the burning coals.

"Dauntless!" Marcus shouted, causing the crowd of Dauntless to erupt once again in cheers, inviting her to join them.

She felt like she was inside a bubble, the cheers of her new faction muffled and her vision blurred. She had done it, she had changed her life.

Instinctively, she glanced towards the Amity faction and locked eyes with Anne, who was already looking at her. Anne's eyes were now red, the tears gone.

Ellie tentatively smiled at her, and to her great surprise, Anne responded with a smile and a thumbs-up, happy for her. They were separated forever now, but their memories would be cherished in their hearts.

She paid little attention to the kids who came after her, only a few caught her eye, like Patrick Sainz and Connor Kennedy, two boys from her own faction. Chloe's best friends.

She had hoped to have no connection with her old faction, but apparently, she would have to settle for living with their breath on her neck. She felt their glances from time to time, judging her as they always had.

Ellie pressed her thumb against the cut on her palm, which sent a rather pleasant shock through her body, distracting her from both her former and new companions at the same time.

Why? Couldn't they mind their own damn business elsewhere?

The rest of the Ceremony passed quickly, Ellie staring into the void in front of her, slightly shaken by what had just happened. She couldn't believe she had managed to change factions, to leave behind that place that wasn't so much a home; it was a dream come true.

She counted ten transfers; most of them came from Erudite, but an equal number of Dauntless also joined other factions, although the quantity was minimal compared to the other factions.

Many of the kids remained in Dauntless, returning to their seats with enthusiasm, greeted with hugs and cheers. It was like a big family; they all seemed so warm.

Soon the end of the Ceremony arrived, and all the factions began to rise and head towards the exit, but the Dauntless were different from all the others. They didn't take the elevator but started running.

The transfers, confused, began to run after them. They ran through the entire city, and Ellie had to admit that, despite the sharp pain in her side, she felt free running amidst all those people.

She distanced herself a bit from the group of transfers, ignoring the pain and picking up her pace to reach the front of the group, but the Dauntless stopped under the scaffolding that supported the train tracks.

Soon the end of the Ceremony arrived, and all the factions began to rise and head towards the exit, but the Dauntless were different from all the others. They didn't take the elevator but started running.

The transfers, confused, began to run after them. They ran through the entire city, and Ellie had to admit that, despite the sharp pain in her side, she felt free running amidst all those people.

She distanced herself a bit from the group of transfers, ignoring the pain and picking up her pace to reach the front of the group, but the Dauntless stopped under the scaffolding that supported the train tracks.

Slowly, the Dauntless began to climb up it. Ellie stood there, mouth agape, but it didn't take her long to do the same. She had loved climbing since she was a child, and this was her moment.

With innate skill, she managed to reach the top of the railway before any other transfer, even before the Dauntless kids. At the top, she looked down at the mass of black-clad figures below her, feeling powerful, like a ruler looking down on her subjects.

It was an incredible sensation, something she had never felt before and wanted to keep experiencing.

Someone approached her from behind, giving her a pat on the shoulder, startling her as she thought someone was trying to push her off. She recoiled, moving away from the edge to see who had caused this little scare.

"Whoa, didn't mean to startle you, kid! I'm Lauren, nice to meet you," the woman extended her hand, perhaps a few years older than Ellie, with long brown hair and an eyebrow piercing. "I just wanted to congratulate you; I've never seen a transfer move that fast."

Ellie took her hand and shook it, embarrassed by how visibly she trembled from the adrenaline. It wasn't the first time she had climbed somewhere or ran until she felt sick; she had done several illegal explorations in the abandoned parts of the city.

"Thank you."

"Good luck with initiation; it's tough. Don't hesitate to ask for help if you struggle with anything, okay?"

Ellie nodded to Lauren, who smiled before heading towards the edge to help the remaining initiates climb onto the platform. It was reassuring to know they weren't as hostile as her mother had made them out to be. So far, she had only met one Dauntless, but if they were all like that, she considered herself lucky.

It was enough to see how they reacted when someone joined their faction—the shouts of joy and the compliments for choosing them showed how united they were as a faction. She liked that.

Ellie gazed at the scenery as they waited for the train. The sky was becoming overcast again, and many hoped it wouldn't start raining, making the journey to the Dauntless faction more difficult.

From a distance, the noise of the train caught the attention of most of the kids there, and they approached the tracks to wait for the train to stop and board it. However, a voice at the head of the line yelled out.

"Jump on!"

The Dauntless started running towards the end of the platform, confusing not only Ellie but also all the other initiates. "What do you mean, jump on?"

Ellie turned, noticing a short girl with tanned skin glancing between her and the train approaching at high speed. She shrugged at her, not knowing why she would know what they were supposed to do.

Both turned to look at the rest of the group, also standing still trying to figure out what to do. The train zoomed past their eyes, and Ellie took only a few seconds to understand what they meant by "jump on."

She started running towards a carriage that seemed to be less crowded and with all her might, she jumped, grabbing onto the handle protruding from the open door. It was challenging to get into the carriage; the force of the wind was too strong, and she was too weak.

Gritting her teeth, she threw herself into the carriage, trying to maintain balance to avoid falling in front of everyone. She was relieved to see that there were indeed few people inside, more children of Dauntless than others from different factions.

Ellie took a seat in a corner of the carriage, away from everyone else. One thing she feared was not making friends; she saw how everyone was already in little groups—the Dauntless kids stuck together, as did those from the same faction, leaving Ellie in her own little corner.

She remained alone throughout the journey, watching the city's ruined landscape through the window. The Dauntless faction was quite far from the center; their structures began in old buildings and sprawled underground in rooms resembling caves.

Noticing one of the empty door, she approached it, making sure to hold onto the handle tightly to avoid slipping. The air crashed against her face, disheveling her carefully tied chignon.

Ellie felt cold, the rain-filled air filling her lungs as she took a deep breath to savor the taste of freedom. She tried to look back, to see if she could spot her old home, and to her surprise, she could see the towering skyscraper where she had grown up.

Even from afar, it was imposing, and she thanked God that she had escaped from that place.

She wondered what her mother's reaction would be upon learning that her only daughter, her torment, had finally left. Would she rejoice? Would she realize she was alone in the world?

Perhaps she would finally realize that she was the problem, not Ellie.

"They're jumping!" exclaimed a boy dressed in blue, and Ellie turned again, tearing her gaze away from the city to see what was happening in front of her. But when she tried to get back into the carriage, she caught sight, out of the corner of her eye, of someone jumping off the train.

Caught off guard, she turned back abruptly, noticing how, indeed, the initiates were jumping off the moving train.

"These people are crazy."

"But there's a gap between us and the roof!"

Ellie heard the boys around her discussing the choice of jumping from a moving train; some were complaining, some were on the verge of tears, and finally, some were jumping without a second thought.

It seemed like the wisest choice—to not overthink it—otherwise, she could calculate all the things that could go wrong. She leaned slightly over the edge to check the distance to the roof; her breath caught in her throat when she saw the gap and especially the free fall of at least twenty to thirty meters if she missed the ledge.

She took a deep breath and entered the carriage to build up her momentum. Her heart was pounding as she began to run towards the exit, launching herself out of the train. She fell to the ground, and when her body touched the gravel on the roof, she was able to breathe again. She hadn't realized she had been holding her breath while jumping.

She was surprised to find herself uninjured in the fall, only a few scratches and her once white clothes now not so white anymore. She pulled herself up, trying to straighten up to look somewhat presentable, loosening her now half-undone chignon.

Bodies continued to fall behind her onto the gravel, making unpleasant sounds, but Ellie headed towards the rest of the group, who seemed to be watching someone.

It didn't take her long to understand what or who they were observing—there was a man on the edge of the ledge, watching them with a stoic expression. He was intimidating just to look at, with an authoritative and threatening demeanor; his well-built physique gave the impression of someone who could break your back with two hands.

Ellie made her way through the bodies to get to the front row, or at least to see the situation more clearly.

In front of the ledge, there were several members of the Dauntless, including Lauren and a man of color who watched them with an almost annoyed expression. He observed each one of them, moving his head from side to side, pausing for a few extra seconds on the red and gray-clad individuals.

A wry smile played on his face.

They remained silent for a few minutes, the man walking on the ledge seemed to be challenging the ledge itself to throw him off. He wasn't afraid of falling; he walked on it as if it were a two-lane road.

He exuded confidence, authority, and danger.

Suddenly, he looked up to observe them. Seeing that they were all there, he stopped, crossed his arms over his chest, and began to speak.

"Listen, initiates. Don't think you're Dauntless just because you've simply jumped off a moving train, or worse, because you've chosen us," his tone matched his appearance: authoritative, cold, aggressive.

"During these months, you will have to prove yourselves worthy, continue to push your body and your fears to the limit. There's no place for weaklings."

Ellie kept her gaze on the man on the ledge even as the man in front of her began to speak. "My name is Max, I'm the representative of this faction. He is Eric," he indicated the man whom Ellie couldn't take her eyes off of, "and she is Lauren. They are two of the four leaders of this faction, including myself."

Lauren smiled at the initiates, winking at Ellie when she noticed her watching. Ellie quickly looked away, not wanting to give the impression of having favorites for any strange reason.

"Now listen to me," Eric began speaking, capturing everyone's attention, his voice rather loud. "There's no room for weaknesses here, so if you want to be part of the initiation, you have to jump."

He gestured behind him, and his statement sparked confusion among the boys standing at his feet. A smirk almost malevolent appeared on his face as he observed all those confused, frightened, and certainly hesitant boys about jumping into the void.

His expression turned serious again. "If you don't do it, you're out. The choice is yours."

"What?!" exclaimed a boy from Erudite among the crowd.

"What's down there? Water?" a Dauntless asked, and that reassured Ellie; apparently, even the children of Dauntless were unaware of how the initiation unfolded.

"Just jump and find out," Eric's tone continued to be one of mockery, as if he enjoyed seeing the fear in their eyes.

"Do you think it's a trick?" someone whispered behind her.

"No, I'm jumping."

Ellie turned to see the Abnegation boy make his way through her and another Dauntless to reach the edge, leaning a bit to try to see what was at the bottom, but he saw nothing.

She glanced back, and the girl who had spoken to her on the platform cheered for him, earning several dirty looks from the other initiates.

Maxim, if she remembered correctly, climbed onto the ledge, and the difference in height and size was almost comical; Eric was at least twenty centimeters taller and definitely twice as bulky as him.

"Yoloo!" he shouted, throwing himself off, and everyone held their breath, rushing to the edge to see if the boy had survived. "YESSS!"

His joyful scream echoed within the four walls, and some of the boys cheered, the tension slowly dissipating as they realized that indeed they wouldn't die if they jumped below.

But despite that, when it was someone else's turn, no one stepped forward. The three leaders looked at each other, each one more annoyed than the other.

"We don't have all day, initiates," Eric was even more intimidating when he had a serious expression. His eyes scanned each initiate until they stopped at Ellie. "You, jump."

Ellie didn't immediately realize he was referring to her until the Abnegation girl from before gave her a small push. She walked towards the ledge and climbed up without looking at what was below. She knew she wouldn't see anything, and that would stop her.

Most likely, Eric was about to say something, make an unpleasant comment to make her jump, but Ellie let herself fall into the void, closing her eyes. Her breath caught in her throat, and it felt like she was falling for hours, as if there was no end.

But at some point, her back came into contact with something soft that molded under her weight, causing her to bounce in the air a few times. A net.

A freaking net at the bottom of a freaking hole, seriously?

"Yeah, I thought the same thing the first time," a masculine voice distracted her from her thoughts, and she might have realized she was thinking out loud. Someone moved the net, and she rolled onto her back until she reached the edge of the net where a tall, muscular boy gave her a quick smile. "What's your name? You can choose to change it, but you can't do it later."

Michelle thought for a few seconds, looking into the eyes of the boy who had spoken to her, his intense blue eyes locking with hers.

"Michelle."

"Second to jump, Michelle!" he shouted to a group of people behind him.

Michelle, now going by the name she had chosen, descended with as much grace as possible, failing miserably due to her legs not holding her up properly. The boy quickly moved to support her and help her down the steps, making sure she didn't fall once he let go.

Her whole body was tingling, the ground seeming to have disappeared beneath her. She stood frozen in the spot where he had left her, too frightened to take a step forward for fear of falling.

To her left, Michelle saw Maxim talking to a man dressed entirely in black covered in tattoos, who definitely wasn't one of the initiates. Meanwhile, to her right, her eyes fell on a particular person.

She didn't recognize her immediately; she had their back turned to her, but something about her felt familiar. They were engaged in animated conversation with other Dauntless, and as she shook her head, her hair shifted, revealing a tattoo at the base of her neck.

Tori.

She finally recognized the tattoo, a falcon. Cute.

Michelle noticed several members of the Dauntless below observing their arrival, and she wondered why. Why would anyone waste their time watching kids fall onto a net?

"I see you made the right choice," a voice she immediately recognized spoke from behind her. Michelle turned to see Tori, a more relaxed expression on her face, almost... proud?

"Let's hope so."

"You know, I've already told you how unusual you are for a Candor, but I have to say it again because believe me, I've never seen someone so quiet," Tori remarked.

Michelle looked at her with a blank, confused expression. "Is that a compliment?"

"Mh, yeah, take it as one. Candors are usually irritating, talk too much," her tone was friendly, and despite trying to make conversation, Michelle noticed, thanks to her body language, how reserved she was.

Tori smiled gently, but kept her distance, her arms crossed over her chest.

Noticing how Michelle's silence had remained intact since she first saw her the day before, she decided to leave, apologizing and saying she had to go back to her colleagues.

Michelle returned to where the few initiates who had dared to jump were gathered. Out of twenty-two initiates, only eight had jumped so far. She decided to sit on the ground where another girl was already sitting, her hair scattered and her face flushed.

"I never want to do that again," the girl next to her said, panting. "It was horrible."

Sunny turned to Michelle, her green eyes standing out thanks to the fluorescent lights below. "I haven't introduced myself, I'm Sunny."

"Michelle."

They fell silent, and Michelle broke eye contact when she heard someone shout, followed by cursing when they touched the net. Fortunately, Sunny didn't try to insist on talking to her, enjoying the cold that the stone walls provided.

They didn't know how much time had passed, perhaps a good half hour before almost all the initiates managed to jump.

When the last initiate, Connor, jumped from the roof and joined Chloe in a corner of the room, the man who had taken the trouble to help them down from the net introduced himself.

"I'm Four. Some of you may already know me, others not. But here, in this room, you're all starting from the same point. None of you knows what the future holds, not even the children of the Dauntless."

Behind him, Max, Lauren, and the other Intrepid who had been on the roof with them descended. Lauren took her place in front of the exit, and Four nodded to her, while the other two left.

Four was about to start speaking again when another figure descended, landing rather ostentatiously on the net, drawing attention to himself. Eric climbed down from the net, whispering something into Four's ear as he passed by, causing the latter to stiffen.

Eric walked away, smiling, but it was clear that his intent was to unsettle Four, and unfortunately, he succeeded.

"Lauren will train the children of the Dauntless, while you, transfers, will be with me. Clear?" His tone of voice was sterner now.

"Clear," the Initiates replied in unison.

"Good. The children of the Dauntless can follow Lauren to their dormitories; I don't think you need a tour. As for you, follow me." Four began to walk down a narrow corridor, and the Initiates followed him. "I usually work in the control room, but for these months, I've been asked to be your trainer."

They walked in silence through dark corridors, illuminated only by occasional neon lamps; Michelle didn't realize she had someone next to her until she felt her shoulder bump against someone else's.

"Oh, sorry." When she turned, she saw the girl from earlier beside her, Sunny. She had long, almost black, brown hair, olive skin, and well-defined features.

"No worries," Michelle replied, continuing to walk, but it seemed like the new girl wanted to keep talking.

"Are you not friends with the other three Candors?" asked curiously, keeping her gaze ahead.

"No."

Sunny turned to look at her, feeling the blunt response, and decided it was best to leave her alone for the moment. But she wouldn't stop trying to talk to her. Michelle seemed like an interesting person, in her opinion.

The group abruptly stopped, and Michelle tried to figure out the reason. "This is the Pit," Four said. "You'll grow fond of it over time. It's a place where friends gather to celebrate, drink, and fight."

Four opened two doors, leaving Michelle and Sunny in awe at the sight of the Pit; it was a vast place carved into the rock, with Michelle unable to see the end of it due to its length. Along the walls, passages were carved to access different levels where various shops were located.

"I didn't think we'd descended this far," remarked Sunny beside her, and Michelle couldn't help but agree.

They had descended several meters, surely below the level where the buildings were constructed. The ceiling was made of glass panels, allowing in the little natural light available that day due to the bad weather.

One thing that surprised her was the lack of safety features on the stairs, corridors, and pretty much everything overlooking the Pit; there were no handrails to hold onto or anything to prevent someone from slipping below.

Michelle looked around, noting how different this faction was from her own. The Pit was filled with people scattered about, with shouts, conversations, and animated gestures echoing through the air.

"Later, I'll show you to your dormitories, but first, I want to take you somewhere," Four changed direction, leading them down a corridor away from the Pit.

Several whispers started among the group. Michelle tilted her head slightly to listen more closely.

"I haven't seen any adults or elderly people!"

"But did you see how the kids were running up those stairs? I was afraid they would fall!"

"I don't mind," Sunny said beside her. "It's different from what I had at home, very."

"I can say the same," Michelle whispered, confused about where they were going, where Four was taking them. She wasn't alone; everyone began to feel the temperature change and the sound of water rushing violently.

"This is the chasm," Four stopped on a metal walkway without a railing. No one followed him. "The chasm reminds us that there's a thin line between courage and idiocy, that our lives can end in a split second."

"Incredible," Sunny said, leaning slightly over, detaching herself from the railing to get a better look at the bottom of the chasm.

"Jumping from here is a stupid way to end your life; there's no way to survive. It's happened before, and it will happen again. You've been warned."

Four then turned his back on the group to cross the chasm, and the group of initiates followed him cautiously. Michelle heard someone behind her joking about jumping, and another voice admonishing them for joking about such a thing.

They walked through the corridors and returned to the Pit, but from the other side they had entered. They followed Four until they reached two doors, made of metal, were open, revealing several tables occupied by the Dauntless.

"This is the dinning hall where you'll have your meals. You're free for now. I'll come get you when you're done eating to show you the dormitories," Four said.

With that, Four left, leaving the group of initiates to themselves. Michelle looked for an empty spot and headed towards a table in the back before anyone else could take it.

She didn't realize she was being followed by Sunny; it seemed she wouldn't get rid of the girl easily, and she was grateful for it. Maybe she would manage to make a friend.

Sunny and Michelle sat facing each other at the empty table, quietly choosing what to eat. The food was placed in the center of each table, and various groups already seated were engaged in lively conversations."

They began to eat in silence until two more initiates joined them. Michelle recognized the red-haired boy, Maxim, and the girl who was with him and had spoken to her on the platform after the Choosing Ceremony.

"Pleasure, Max," the boy introduced himself before filling his plate with meat and eating as if he had been fasting for months; Michelle gave him a dirty look as she cut into her hamburger.

"Tina," the girl also introduced herself, and Sunny shook her hand, introducing herself in return.

"She's Michelle," Sunny spoke up for her, and Michelle was grateful; she didn't want to talk.

Her life had changed drastically; she found herself in a new faction with new people within hours and needed to assimilate it all. Not that she would have talked more, but that was just an excuse.

"What do you think so far? I find it pretty cool," Tina said, laughing and nudging Max, who smiled at her. "It's so strange, completely different from what we were used to!"

Her enthusiasm was palpable, and Michelle just wished she could stuff her mouth with food to shut her up; her tone of voice was irritating for how she emphasized every word.

"Yeah, I have to admit it feels weird," replied Sunny, taking off her blue jacket.

"I've never eaten meat before, it's delicious!" Max continued to devour the food in front of him like an animal.

"But that's disgusting!" Tina nudged Max, who kept eating with his mouth open. They were annoying, obscene.

Sunny looked at Michelle, confused, almost disgusted by their behavior; they mainly spoke to each other and kept a louder tone than necessary. Michelle shrugged before finishing her meal, her stomach still tight due to the adrenaline coursing through her veins.

Another person sat with them, to Michelle's right. When she glanced to see who it was, she saw the net guy, Four, grabbing a plate nearby. He remained distant, however, leaving several inches between them.

The doors of the hall opened, and silence fell among the Dauntless and initiates. Eric, recognized by Michelle, entered; the silence allowed the echo of his boots on the floor, and as he passed by the tables, many lowered their heads to their plates, trying to ignore him.

"It's scary," Tina whispered, leaning towards them without taking her eyes off the man who had taken a seat with Max, the faction leader, and other Dauntless none of them had ever seen before.

"You should be afraid of him," another voice chimed in, causing Michelle to jump in her seat. "Seems like every conversation we have starts with you getting scared, huh?"

Lauren took a seat to her left. She, too, began to eat.

"Why? Yeah, he looks badass, but does he really have all that power?" Max asked.

"He's one of the leaders, so I'd say yes," Sunny replied, rolling her eyes and resting her chin on her hand. Michelle noticed how she glanced sideways at Four, trying not to be noticed; someone had a crush.

Michelle smiled slightly at the thought, finding it amusing that not even many hours had passed, and her new friend already had her eyes on someone.

"Ah, he's one of the leaders?"

"Are you stupid? He said it when we were on the roof!" Tina's voice was quite irritating.

Lauren cleared her throat. "Be careful, he's not someone to mess with," her tone was serious, the amused expression fading as she spoke to the initiates at the table. "He's dangerous, he has a bad reputation here."

"What has he done to be so feared?" Sunny asked, curious, directing all her attention to the woman in front of her, finally averting her gaze from Four.

"He's a sadist, he enjoys seeing others suffer and uses all the power he has to his advantage," the guy replied without looking anyone in the eye, keeping his gaze fixed on his plate.

"How old is he? He seems young to be a leader."

"Age doesn't matter here," Four replied curtly, taking a sip of water from his glass. "If you're at the top of the rankings, you can become a leader."

"Well, he wasn't at the top, was he?" Lauren retorted, leaning forward on the table to observe her colleague, a smirk on her face.

"Why he's a leader then?" Sunny asked, trying to understand the situation.

"Because I turned down the position," Michelle saw Four's jaw tighten, his posture stiffening slightly. She was curious about the boy next to her; he seemed so distant while talking with them; either he didn't want to be there or the topic wasn't to his liking.

"That was a stupid choice," Michelle said, staring at him. The table fell silent, and Four paused, slowly turning to look at her with an unreadable expression on his face, as if he expected her to continue. But she didn't.

"Excuse me?" Four asked, his voice slightly sharp.

"It was a stupid choice to turn down such a position, don't you think?" Michelle repeated calmly and composedly, as if speaking to a child. Four flashed a vexed smile, caught off guard by her assertion.

He had never seen a Candor so quiet, and for a moment he wondered if it was all a joke and he had taken the clothes of another initiate, but when she spoke, he immediately understood that maybe, after all, she was indeed a Candor.

"What makes you think you can speak to me like that?" Four tried to keep a calm tone as he replied, wanting to make things clear before getting angry.

"It was an observation," Michelle replied without averting her gaze. There was something about Four that intrigued her, but she couldn't quite grasp it yet; was it his indifferent demeanor? Perhaps it was the fact that he seemed not to belong to that faction?

Why had he sat with them?

"If you want to survive in here, you better watch what you say," he finally looked away, feeling like he was having a staring contest with the initiate, and knowing that he would lose. "Behave like that with someone else, and you'll end up at the bottom of the chasm before the first module ends."

He returned to eating in silence. Michelle glanced at the younger leader sitting on the other side of the dinning hall, wondering if he was the one Four was referring to.

"I didn't believe Tori when she told me she had met a Candor with no tongue," the woman smiled at her when she turned to look at her, diverting her gaze from Eric. "But here you are. Though, I'd say you have a sharp tongue rather than no tongue. I like it."

"Don't encourage her, or you know what will happen," Four warned her.

"Oh, come on Four, I don't think she's stupid enough to pick a fight with anyone. Or is she?" Lauren looked at her, expecting a response, but Michelle remained silent.

She had to admit that despite Four being a good-looking guy, he was also quite touchy, at least that was the impression he had given her. She decided to stay quiet for the rest of the dinner, contemplating whether her way of speaking was no longer suitable after changing factions.

She had no problem speaking the truth, sharp-tongued or not, but the fact that Four took her comment so personally made her realize that maybe she should adapt to the situation.

She had to admit that the subtle threat of being thrown down the chasm sent shivers down her spine.

"Let's just say it's better not to beat around the bush with him," Lauren replied, interrupted by Eric's sudden arrival at the table.

Michelle only noticed him when Four shifted slightly due to the nudge, prompting her to look in the direction where Eric was seated. She was surprised to realize she hadn't heard him coming or seen him out of the corner of her eye.

He didn't greet anyone, neither the initiates nor Lauren or Four. He sat down as if he owned the entire place and began talking to Four, who was visibly annoyed and stiff on the bench.

"Don't you introduce me to your new buddies?" he gestured to the three guys in front of them.

"Tina, Max, Sunny, and Michelle," Four replied.

"Oh, two stiffs. We've outdone ourselves this year."

Stiff. Michelle had already heard that derogatory nickname; it was a way Abnegation members were referred to by other factions. It indicated their rigidity, their countless unnecessary rules.

"We'll see how long they last."

Four remained silent, and Michelle took the opportunity to observe the young leader. The first thing that caught her eye was the two tattoos on the sides of his neck, two black stripes peeking out from under the collar of his jacket; he had several piercings: one on his eyebrow, one on his lip, and a couple on his ears.

On the roof, she hadn't noticed a detail that made him even more intimidating; he had two icy blue eyes that accentuated his coldness.

He kept his blonde hair short on the sides and longer on top, slicked back with gel.

He was relatively good-looking, definitely different from Four. From behavior to appearance.

"What a lovely group, two stiffs, a know-it-all, and..." he leaned in to observe Michelle, scrutinizing her closely, "and... a Candor who doesn't speak. Well, Four, you've made some interesting friends."

"Eric..." Lauren intervened, receiving an amused look from the blond.

"What? I just want to chat with our friend here. So, tell me, what have you been up to lately?"

While Michelle was confused, Sunny and the others seemed even more perplexed. They observed the scene in silence, unable to understand why their leader was talking to Four as if they were old friends, when just a few minutes earlier, Four had warned them to be cautious around him.

"It's nothing special, just the usual," Four replied without looking at him.

"Mh, boring. But what can you expect? A stiff will always remain a stiff," he commented before getting up and patting Four on the shoulder.

He left the cafeteria, and Michelle let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding.

"Were you a transfert?" Sunny asked, visibly shaken. Michelle could understand why: Four didn't seem like a Dauntless at all, but rather an Abnegation.

"How do you know each other if you're not friends?" Tina asked, curious.

"We went through initiation together two years ago; he was a transfer from Erudite," Four explained.

"What does he have to say about me then?" Sunny asked, annoyed by the unpleasant comment he had made.

"Eric is Eric; don't take his words too seriously, or you'll be the first one to leave here," Lauren reassured her.

Sunny responded again, but Michelle no longer heard the conversation happening around her. She continued to gaze at the door through which the man, or rather boy, had just exited; he didn't just appear two years older than them, he seemed at least five years older.

But as Four had said, age doesn't matter.

She turned to look at the boy to her right, and after a few seconds, feeling his gaze, he turned to look at her in return. They were studying each other.

"Be careful, Michelle. Not speaking could get you into the same trouble as saying too much would," he warned.

With that, he got up, leaving Michelle and the rest of the group to finish their dinner.

He returned half an hour later when most of the Dauntless had retired to their quarters. He led them silently through the faction, navigating through several corridors until they reached a point where several corridors intersected.

From one of the adjacent corridors, Eric appeared and stood next to Four at the front of the line. Speaking wasn't forbidden, but not a word was uttered among the initiates.

The place was rather dark, which made Michelle more alert. Occasionally, a fluorescent lamp attached to the wall would intermittently illuminate the corridor, but other than that, they were engulfed in darkness.

Sunny, beside her, cursed several times, stumbling over the uneven ground. She wasn't the only one; Tina, who was behind them along with Max, stumbled once, clutching onto Michelle to prevent herself from falling.

To say that Michelle just wanted to go to sleep was an understatement; she wanted to be alone for at least a few hours.

As they continued walking, she put her hands in her pockets and gripped the photo she had been carrying until that moment. She had heard someone talk about burning all their belongings, clothes, and items they had brought with them.

But she wouldn't allow it; she would safeguard that photo until her death.

She wondered what Anne was doing at that moment, if she was okay. She wished to speak one last time before leaving with the Dauntless; she wanted to make sure there were no issues between them after the previous evening.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Eric, and only then did Michelle realize that Four was no longer with them.

"As you know, I am one of the five leaders of this faction, and since we take your initiation very seriously, I have volunteered to oversee most of your journey," Eric announced.

They had stopped in front of two doors, arranging themselves in a semi-circle to face Eric as he spoke.

"Here are some rules to follow," he paced back and forth in front of the door, making eye contact with all the initiates. "You must be in the training quarters at eight in the morning, and training will last until six in the evening. After that, you can do as you please. You'll have days off between each phase, understood?"

The initiates nodded, and Eric continued speaking. "These are your quarters. You will be trained separately from the residents but will be ranked together."

"What do you mean by ranked?" a voice from the back asked, and Michelle expected a reprimand, but Eric's expression changed to one of amusement, almost sadistic.

"You chose us; now we choose you."

[this-daydream-is-dangerous-13]

Taylor’s use of 7 is Haylor, including seven: a thesis

Buckle up, friends. Ever since hearing the seven poem aloud on the Eras tour—with its explicit link to Wildest Dreams—it confirmed my long-held suspicion that *seven* is Haylor.

Some data:

- all track 7s post Red seem to be Haylor

- 7 is Harry’s number (added to hers you get 20, hence all the references to 20)

- seven is track 7 on folklore, the album Taylor released on 1D’s 10th anniversary. What? Harry had released Fine Line on her previous bday (#30, Dec 13/19) and she’d missed his Feb 1st day already.

But bestie, you might ask, how is it possible? Let me explain, drawing from details of the song.

We know that Anne and Des Styles divorce when Harry is 7. Anne has primary custody of H and Gemma in Holmes Chapel, but they remain close to Des whom they see on weekends.

But then, there is a period in their lives that no one knows much about and no one speaks about. Even this gem (which I am currently citing) - a 1D origin story has very little.

Harry has another stepdad whose last name is Cox (which was Anne’s name during 1D X factor time). His name was John. They family move to Great Budworth in the Cheshire countryside where Anne is landlady in a pub (and Harry talks fondly of ice cream runs and first girlfriends).

But then when H is around 12, Anne and the kids are back in Holmes Chapel. Anne eventually dates and gets serious with Harry’s beloved, now late stepdad Robin Twist. And Harry sometimes mentions his overwhelming desire to protect his Mom and Gemma at all costs.

No one ever mentions this guy. Ever.

Fast forward a few years to the magical December of 2012. After work commitments, Harry and Taylor spent 4 or 5 days in the north of England. They stay with Anne, and they Christmas bake and go on double dates with Gemma and her then boyfriend, and grocery shop and hang out with his friends. He takes her to the Lakes, where she’s dreamed of going.

It’s her 23rd birthday and be showers her with surprises and 23 thoughtful gifts (she’s not writing The Moment I Knew on his watch!). He gets her food from his childhood fave Chinese place and the bakery where he worked! He is showing her his life. It’s documented here…

Including their visit to a pub in Great Budworth and a drive around the area.

We have no idea what happened, but maybe Taylor does?

Taylor never got to take him to Pine Tree farm in rural PA, as far as we know. But in the depths of the pandemic, when no one could go anywhere, she paints him a picture of her PA childhood.

And in it, we find a fictionalized friend who has a difficult and maybe scary father figure. One from whom Taylor wishes she could save and protect her friend, despite crossing her heart and promising not to tell.

What a gift, to affirm the struggle this child went through, and to show her care and desire to *be with them in it*.

She wanted to scoop him up and take him away from the closet tears to play pirates and “run away to India”. What kid in rural PA wishes to go there? Come on! 😭😭😭

And then, here are the lyrics she pens:

“Passed on like folk songs, the love lasts so long”

“And just like a folk song, our love will be passed on…”

And most significantly - *love you to the moon and to Saturn* 🌙🪐 !!!!!

She wasn’t kidding in Gold Rush - “my mind turns your life into folklore, I can’t bear to dream about you any more.”

[xsweetcatastrophe]

You Broke Me First

this is my first time writing anything. be nice.

part 1

He's late.

Zoe sat at the end of the bar, her phone on one side and her recorder on the other. She fought off ordering a beer, she wanted to be polite and wait for him.

But if he's going to take his time and be a half hour late, all manners are going out the window at this point.

Right when she was about to flag the bartender down, her phone buzzed.

Sorry, there was traffic. Parking now and walking up. Be there in 5. - C

Zoe couldn't have rolled her eyes harder.

"I hate to ask, but did you get stood up for a first date?" the young bartender finally said, noticing her and walking over. "You've been staring at the door the entire time like you're expecting someone"

"I'm expecting someone, but it's not a date, trust me." Zoe said, holding up her recorder. "Can I have a Allagash White? you can keep it open" She said, handing the bartender her card.

Zoe went into journalism because she cared about people and their stories. She felt it was a lost art; the industry now is filled with clickbait articles and poorly researched topics that led people to believe a false narrative.

One of Zoe's favorite childhood memories is reading the Reader's Digest with her father. She would wait for it in the mail, run to him in the living room where he normally was - in his recliner smoking a cigarette watching the news - and read it from cover to cover with him. Her favorite was the jokes section when she was younger. As she got older, she would ask her father questions and it would open the door to deep conversations about the world in the people in it. She continued these conversations with her dad well into her teenage years; as well as when he was in the hospital dying of lung cancer from the very cigarettes that were burned into her favorite memories of him.

She went to Columbia. Masters in Journalism. She thought her writing was going to change the world and show people how they could fall in love with journalism and get excited to read articles again; Spark conversations with people and have them connect with one another.

Why was she working for Page Six doing celebrity profiles?

Honestly - it paid the bills. Student loans aren't going to pay themselves. She learned the hard way that life is not an early 2000's rom-com; where you could have a column in a magazine, live in a brownstone and go out every night with your friends drinking cosmos.

No, life right now was living in a 1 bedroom apartment, with a questionable water stain on the ceiling, a window AC that barely works and a 70 year old lady who lives next door that has more men over than you do.

It's just temporary, yes. She might of been here for 3 years already, but it's not forever. 32 isn't old and she can still find her forever job. Yes, everything is fine. All part of the plan.

At least, that's what she tells herself when she's having a panic attack about it at night.

In a strange way, she IS learning about people... celebrities, that is. Her interview style was more casual; she felt people opened up more when they were doing something they loved, or over a drink. And people did open up.. she got to interview Leonardo DiCaprio and got a lecture from him when she asked her bartender for a straw. She never heard the end of that one. She learned how to roll a joint from Seth Rogan. She got to have coffee with Anne Hathaway and she showed her all the outfits she kept from when she filed The Devil Wears Prada. This would be any girl's dream... why can't she appreciate it more?

Finally, he walked in.

He was in a black T-shirt, jeans and boots. He looked around the somewhat empty bar, looking for someone who might be expecting him. Zoe caught his attention, and he walked over.

"Sorry, so sorry... this traffic sucks," he said, pulling out the barstool next to her.

"I'm Cillian, nice to meet you"

[p1nkm1lkslug]

•°.⋆𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏: 𝚠𝚘𝚘𝚍𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚊𝚒𝚕𝚜

( bbored so I'm writing something for my OC) + slight tw: implication of sh and talks on body, also this has not been read I legit wrote this in 5 minutes and called it a day so if this is giving 2015 y/n I apologize 😭

•°.⋆•°.⋆•°.⋆•°.⋆•°.⋆•°.⋆•°.⋆•°.⋆•°.⋆•°.⋆•°.⋆•°.

Waking up was not unusual for me, constantly in a pool of my own sweat and tears was something we all went through, but the familiarity did no good as I was currently sat on the cold metal chair.

"One in the morning another at night, do not take more then what I've told you. " Ann, our resident nurse (and our only nurse) had told me"I had a dream.. ", she abruptly stopped walking around the room, the click of her heels coming to a close as she looks at me, silently looking at me, her eyes read my own 'are you fucking with me' is what she probably wanted to say. " Your bound to experience them considered your current state " , so she didn't ultimately lodge a scalpel down my throat at my somewhat stupid question, I guess she was being nice or as nice as she can get.

I don't blame her, it kind of was a stupid question, we live with a faceless man in a whore house filled with unhinged murderers, my mistake was opening my mouth in the first place.

To tired to think, I flip down on the plush mattress, during this slow nights alone I felt the most calm, I haven't really given much thought to my life right now, everything just happened all at once, I'm not really sure what to feel, with every death that occurred it brings up more and more confusing memories, family friends I don't remember, doctors who didn't treat me we'll and parents who couldn't remember my blood type, everything felt like a tidal wave sweeping me down to the deepest pits of the unknown as it made me face what lied beneath my feet.

Over thinking won't help me, but it's all iv truly known

It's only been 3 years ever since my time as a walking corpse, nothing new or interesting comes with this if we're being honest

I looked more tired, my sunken eyes we're coated with red. My beach tan replaced with a murky brown, hair felt frizzy and thick, I can't remember the last time I brushed it out, arms out thin, I could see the outline of my ribs.

I felt Grotesque

Trapped in this body that didn't belong to me, I could practically feel everything in my body, when I walked I could feel my organs move with my rhythm, a bone would twist and I felt it roll around in my skin.

Scars stretching over the vast majority of my body, some were accidental, some Weren't.

I layed in my bed, my body contorting in an awkward position in hopes of finding comfort, that's a habit my sister said I held on to even as a child, I always enjoyed when she talked about our childhood, I don't remember much, I don't really want to.

I observe all iv collected in my room, broken alarm clocks, stolen stop signs, some clothes, the water staining my shirt and a women staring at me from the corner of the room.

I don't know what or who it is, I feel this sharp pain in the side of my ribs as our eyes meet, she never moved, neither did I.

I can't tell if it was out of fear, but I never moved, but that face said it all 'you don't know me but I know you', it didn't utter a word , but if it did it would spew nothing but venom towards me.

In my defense I wasn't supposed to be around this long.

[thefeatherwrites]

Love Is.

I wanted to do some head-cannons of the three boys and my oc's for each of them. Their own lore, my own happiness. I love the idea of love, especially theirs.

Unedited, as per usual. Fluffy like a cloud. No angst this time, I promise. Sweet like your favorite piece of candy, unless you like sour candy... then just humor me and pretend.

Garreth Weasley loves the way she smiles when no one else is looking. The way her dark brunette hair waves in the wind, leaving behind the calming scents of her mint and eucalyptus shampoo in her wake. His heart swells when she encourages him to continue his experiments, even helping him keep organized notes and lists to look back on for improvements.

Her eyes, his favorite shade of green that would rival the fresh leaves of spring. The sound of her voice may sound harsh to others, but they have never heard her sing such sweet melodies when she thinks no one is listening.

He loves watching her eyes sparkle with the cracks of thunder, sitting on the windowsill as the rain falls with its torrential downpour. He revels in the way she humbles him, meeting his witty banter that almost always ends with her victorious wry grin.

He melts when she makes the first move, whether it be just a simple kiss or something more. His skin tingles with anticipation as she taunts him with small acts of affection, growing steadily as the day goes on until it becomes almost unbearable.

His breath hitches when she whispers sultry remarks in his ear, noting everything she loves about him, especially when it comes to his cock. His mind goes blank when he watches her beautiful face twist into pure ecstasy as he helps her ride out her orgasm, listening to her scream his last name as if it wasn't going to someday be her own.

He often imagined how she would react when he would propose to her, to see if she would give him a different smile or scream in delight, knowing that she would find her family in him. But oh, how he adored the way his last name looked with hers.

To Garreth, love is his number one fan, Julianna.

Sebastian Sallow loves the way her heart seems to grow with every passing day. How she never gave up on him, no matter how dark of a path he went down, always waiting to envelop him in her small but firm and warm hugs.

Her hair shined like gold in the summer sun, reminding him of the princesses Anne would read aloud to him when they were smaller. He could easily find himself lost in her sapphire blue eyes, more precious than any jewel in the world. He found her simply adorable every time he spotted her in a crowd, sporting her signature pink bow in her hair as she hurried to her classes.

He loved to watch her dance, even attempting to join her when she asked, because she had him wrapped around her tiny finger. While he was intrigued by her often foolish bravery, he felt honored that she always went to him for protection, making him feel important even on his worst days.

He enjoyed watching her run through the fields of the highlands, picking the wildflowers that bloomed in the spring, even though their beauty paled in comparison to her gorgeous smile. His heart could burst from his chest every time she pulled him close, having to stand on her tip toes just to kiss him.

He would moan loudly when she would pleasure him, only ever showing her disheveled side to him as she sloppily sucks his cock until his face flushed a deep shade of red. His eyes would darken as he watched her squirm under him, easily taking him as he fucked her into oblivion, begging him with her soft voice to go faster.

He had dreamed about how she would look on their wedding day, to see her in a dress that made her look like the angel she truly was. He looked at the ring in his hand, one that once graced his mother's finger, would now grace his future wife who had been his best friend since childhood.

To Sebastian, love is his beacon of light in the dark, Adeline.

Ominis Gaunt loves the way he can hear her footsteps glide into the room and immediately command the attention of everyone present. How she would always find him, ensuring his safety and comfortability, caring for him in a way no one else ever has.

Her hair reminded him of the moon, white with highlights of silver that only added to her ethereal beauty. Her eyes shined like stars, the rare gray-purple color accentuating her freckles that dotted her nose and rosy lips that seemed to hypnotize him easily.

He often enjoyed the way she was a creature of habit, from having the same cup of tea every morning to her nightcap of deliciously sweet liquor that he could often taste on her lips. He was moved by the way she dressed, always styling herself with soft fabrics that accentuated her curves and felt pleasing to his touch.

He loved to listen to her on the piano, hearing the melancholic melodies she often played as he would sometimes accompany her or just sit and listen to the sounds her delicate but strong fingers hit the keys. The hairs on his skin would raise when he listened to her commanding voice, shouting orders to wizards for their next move and yelling out dangerous dark magic towards their foes.

He did however, also enjoy her soft moans when he took charge in their bedroom. He felt excruciatingly aroused as he let his tongue snake across her neck, leaving welts of colorful bruises in his wake. His mouth would gape open as her once commanding voice, now sweetly shouting his name as they came together, basking in the afterglow of their hours long love making session just before they begin another.

He always reached out for her left hand when they strolled the gardens, twisting her wedding band in place, thanking every god that would listen that she came back into his life. He couldn't begin to describe how striking she looked on their wedding day, no matter how chaotic the circumstances were.

To Ominis, love is his fallen star from the sky, Estelle.

[poetlcs]

sharing some books I read recently and recommend for women in translation month!

for more: @world-literatures

Two Sisters by Ngarta Jinny Bent & Jukuna Mona Chuguna (Translated from Walmajarri by Eirlys Richards and Pat Lowe)

The only known books translated from this Indigenous Australian language, tells sisters Ngarta and Jakuna's experience living in traditional Walmajarri ways.

2. Human Acts by Han Kang (Translated from South Korean by Deborah Smith)

Gwangju, South Korea, 1980. In the wake of a viciously suppressed student uprising, a boy searches for his friend's corpse, a consciousness searches for its abandoned body, and a brutalised country searches for a voice.

3. Things We Lost in the Fire by Mariana Enriquez (Translated from Spanish by Megan McDowell)

Short story collection exploring the realities of modern Argentina. So well written - with stories that are as engrossing and captivating as they are macabre and horrifying.

4. Portrait of an Unknown Lady by Maria Gainza (Translated from Spanish by Thomas Bunstead)

In the Buenos Aires art world, a master forger has achieved legendary status. Rumored to be a woman, she seems especially gifted at forging canvases by the painter Mariette Lydis, a portraitist of Argentine high society. On the trail of this mysterious forger is our narrator, an art critic and auction house employee through whose hands counterfeit works have passed.

5. My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrente (Translated from Italian by Ann Goldstein)

My Brilliant Friend is a rich, intense and generous-hearted story about two friends, Elena and Lila. Through the lives of these two women, Ferrante tells the story of a neighbourhood, a city and a country as it is transformed in ways that, in turn, also transform the relationship between her two protagonists.

6. Childhood by Tove Ditlevsen (Translated from Danish by Tiina Nunnally and Michael Favala Goldman)

Tove knows she is a misfit, whose childhood is made for a completely different girl. In her working-class neighbourhood in Copenhagen, she is enthralled by her wild, red-headed friend Ruth, who initiates her into adult secrets. But Tove cannot reveal her true self to her or to anyone else.

7. La Bastarda by Trifonia Melibea Obono (Translated from Spanish by Lawrence Schimel)

The first novel by an Equatorial Guinean woman to be translated into English, La Bastarda is the story of the orphaned teen Okomo, who lives under the watchful eye of her grandmother and dreams of finding her father. Forbidden from seeking him out, she enlists the help of other village outcasts: her gay uncle and a gang of “mysterious” girls reveling in their so-called indecency. Drawn into their illicit trysts, Okomo finds herself falling in love with their leader and rebelling against the rigid norms of Fang culture.

8. Strange Beasts of China by Yan Ge (Translated from Chinese by Jeremy Tiang)

In the fictional Chinese city of Yong’an, an amateur cryptozoologist is commissioned to uncover the stories of its fabled beasts. Aided by her elusive former professor and his enigmatic assistant, our narrator sets off to document each beast, and is slowly drawn deeper into a mystery that threatens her very sense of self.