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#annoying to everyone I know it is. Like to be around me I can guess its fucking exhausting bc all i do is have a good week if that and then
petew21-blog · 1 day
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Teen wolf - Alpha needs his pack Part 2.
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Hey, y'all already know who we are right? We're like two of the most popular guys at school. Or maybe the coolest. Or... ok forget I said that. We are just bestfriends, by day we do normal shirt together by some nights Scott is doing his wolf stuff and I try to help out as much as I can.
But recently sometihng has changed. Scott started to act more dominant. We spoke less and less. He is so focused on the pack and the dangers that might come, but that's not how Scott usually is. Also, what happened to Theo? He is always ten steps behind Scott like some sort of a servant and he even keeps looking at me. But not with his self-centered I AM BETTER THAN YOU look, but now he looks like he wants to tell me sometihng, like he is being punished. I'll try to talk to him, since Scott is distancing himself from me now. HE EVEN GOT A TATTOO. Without me! We were talking getting one and he didn't wait for me. Ok, maybe my dad would be against it, but I would resist. Maybe, for a while. Ok, I wouldn't dare, but you know. He could have said something.
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I think I was getting really desperate. My best friend is not talking to me, everyone else would think the way that I do. I knew If I were in his pack he couldn't ignore me. But if my dad found out I was bitten someday, he would flip. Or maybe I would too. The first transformation must be horrible. Which is why I contacted one witch. She is not evil, but doesn't work for free. And I still didn't have an idea how to get Scott to talk to me, but she would know what to do. Wouldn't she?
We met up in the forest. She brough a box with her with all sorts of potions and equipment. She was a middle aged, very beautiful woman, nice hair, leather jacket.
"Hey. You're not the witch from Snow White I was expecting."
"Money" she said annoyed after my joke
I handed her the money. And started nervously: "Haha, sorry about that. I just get nervous handling illegal stuff in the dark with strangers. Not like I would do that, like ever. Not like drugs or anything. I don't do drugs..."
"You talk too much." She handed me a small vial of liquid. As I observed the vial, she touched my hand. "Do you even know, there's some magic in you? Are you so blind to everything around you, you don't even see whats in you?"
"I am a wizard?"
"No. You have some magic, but you're weak." she started packing her things and getting ready to leave.
"Wait, you didn't tell me what to do."
"Drink it to get close to who you want." she said mysteriously.
What does that even mean? I drank the whole vial and she just smiled at me. I hope that's a good sign. A smile from a witch. Sure
Suddenly a noise echoed through the forrest. That sounded like a howl. The witch was already running away from me.
In a minute Derek appeared behind me. "What the hell are you doing here?"
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I was really surprised to see him, but also not. The wolves always protect the Beacon Hills so if there was a creature tresspassing, they would know. I tried to sound confident. "Well I could be asking you the same thing"
"Do you even know that the Dread doctors are in Beacon Hills?! Has no one told you they pose a threat, Stiles?!? They want to get to Scott and you are parading in a forrest doing god knows what."
"I was just... on a midnight walk. It's very healthy actually. You should try sometimes. But I guess you run a lot around the town during the night. Right. Anyway..."
"Stiles, shut the fuck up and let's go."
He touched my arm and then my whole world flipped. It must have happened really fast, but for us it felt like ages. I even think I saw Derek's aura? soul? I don't know. But those things switched places in our bodies. They positioned themself and after that I opened my eyes again.
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I saw myself. Myself from Derek's eyes. As I looked down I saw Derek's muscles. Oh man, he's gonna kill me now.
"Stiles?!?" the expression of my face changed from my usual friendly approach to the one I might have had maybe the last time playing a video game. I didn't even know my face could do this.
"Yesss?" whoa. Did that vibrating manly voice just come out of me? That's so hot. I have to calm down before Derek notices I am not that mad about the situation as he is.
"What exactly have you been doing here? And I need you to tell me everything." haha. My body looks so funny when he's trying to look angry.
I told him how I felt about Scott, how the witch took the money and gave me the vial and how I drank it.
He laughed of frustration. "You fuckin' idiot. Don't you get it?"
"Get what?"
"The Dread Doctors were planning to swap you and Scott. You were suppose to go meet him after this, right?"
"Yeah..."
"Well of course. Our little stiles feels intimidated by Scott new ball drop and wants to be close, just to endanger the whole town in doing so. What would you do if you swapped with him? Would you manage being the Alpha? HUH? No, right. Didn't think so."
"Sorry, this wasn't the plan."
"Oh I know it wasn't. And it sure wasn't my plan to spend the evening fucking myself."
"WHAT?! WHAT do you mean?! Why should I.... YOU...WHAT?"
"Every magical thing has a twist. And maybe from every cheesy freaky friday movie you watch, you might understand, that the people that swap have to get close somehow, make up. They always have to 'learn a lesson', 'try to walk in each others shoes', but they all take the long way. The fastest way to swap is to know how the other one FEELS."
"Derek, I... I don't know if I want this."
"Well I sure as don't want this kid, but we don't have a choice now, do we? Now, get on your knees. I got places to be."
He came close to me and started unzipping my jeans.
"Hey that's my dick!"
"No, it's mine now. And if you don't want it to be like this forever, which I really don't, then SUCK IT!"
I have to say, that seeing my own body being so dominant was in some ways really hot. I lowered myself.
"I have never seen it from this angle. It looks really nice."
"Stiles. SUCK IT!"
I didn't want to bee yelled at anymore, but Derek's body seemed to react to it slightly. I liked the shaft first, grabbing the lower part of my dick and positioned my mouth over it. My beard over my lips slightly scratching the head of my dick seemed to cause sensation to him. I pushed the dick more and more. Damn, almost no gag reflex. Convenient. My dick is real nice I gotta say. Striaght, slightly hairy, nice balls. It's not one of the biggest out there, but it's not bad in the mouth.
I accelerated. He started moaning. I used my right hand to jerk the lower half and blow the top. I think I'm getting good at this. Maybe cause Derek now put his hand in my hair to hold onto something.
"So you like it huh?"
"DON'T STOP!"
I got back to it, accelerating even more until streams of cum released into my mouth. I swallowed.
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"So? When do you think we're gonna swap?" I asked him
He hyperventilated from the orgasm. "I... I thought this would work actually."
"Well maybe we gotta fuck for real. Let's go to my place. My dad's on duty now.
We entered my room. I could see the post nut clarity in his eyes. Post nut clarity and desperation. Nothing I haven't seen before on my own face.
"Ok, Derek. The lube is in the drawers. There is a completely new one. I haven't had a chance to use it. Guess I still won't be the first one using it. Hahah."
"What do you mean?"
"You just came. My body isn't used to cum two times a in an hour, So if you can't do the math, I'll do it for you."
"We'll wait until your body's dick gets hard." he said indifferently
A wave of anger swept over me
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"Listen here, Derek. You suggested this and I followed. Now it's your turn to obey and do what I tell you. You don't want to be stuck like this and these are your methods. So we're gonna fuck. And I will be on top. Understand?"
He just nodded. I could see the fear in his eyes. But also excitement. And what I really didn't expect a tent formed in his jeans. That little fucker likes to be dominated. He's just hiding it behind this facade.
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I was horny, hell yeah I was. And I also wanted to enjoy being this buff for just a few minutes. I did some pull ups. It went so easily. His body is so amazing. Maybe I should hit the gym after we go back.
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Derek just sat shirtless on the bed, watching me lift myself up and down.
I got near him. The sweat drops rolling over my muscles. I took his hand and positioned it on my belt. He unbuckled it. SHIIIT this dick is huge. No wonder when Derek is such a masculine man.
"SUCK IT!" I said just as he said before. Only now, my voice was more manlier than his. He obeyed me, he wanted me to feel good and ge was doing such a great job. I thrusted my hips into his mouth as he was sucking. He choked many time. My body's gag reflex made it worse for him. Take that, that's for before
I took off my pants and he took off his. He turned around and got in position for me to enter him. I took the lube, put some on my hand, then his ass. Then on my new dick. Fuck, it's my first time jerking his dick. And it feels so good. I don't think I want to swap. But if I get my hands on the vial, I could swap with anyone. It would be cool to know what it's like to be Theo. He has a beautiful body.
My mind got back from daydreaming to fucking again. My hard pulsating dick in my hand ready over my hairy ass. I pushed, slowly, gently. I waited for him to get used to it. He moaned like a little bitch. While I waited for him to enjoy the pain I grabbed his dick. He was just as hard as I was. I took my other hand and grabbed him under his neck and took him close to me. My other hand still on his dick, jerking him, my own dick thrusting into him. He moaned. I kissed his neck and bit him a bit. I could feel my wolf teeth come out. But no, not the time
I accelerated. Thrusting more into him and jerking him twice as before. He wasn't moaninf, he was screaming out of pleasure now. And then it hit. Both of us. Be came at the same time. I came into him and ha came all over my bed. We panted, my dick still inside of him slowly getting flacid.
I pulled out. Laying myself down and he did so next to me on the bed.
"Well, that didn't work."
We just looked at each other, both wondering what we were gonna do.
But hey, atleast I get to be part of the pack with Scott now.
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A story from inbox that skipped a few others: Maybe a second part of the new alpha where stiles hires some witch to make him and derek swap bodies in order to improve the pack. Maybe even derek had a kink with being smaller and loves the new reality.
Sorry for taking so long, but don't worry. Your story is coming
Part 1:
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fortunatelylori · 5 hours
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A defense of Eloise Bridgerton and her friendship with Penelope Featherington
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I should probably start this post by pointing out the fact that I’m not the biggest Eloise fan out there. In fact Eloise has consistently annoyed me for two seasons straight with her I’m “not like other girls” shtick and the writers using her as a prop for modern feminist talking points. 
Mostly what I disliked about Eloise was the bluntness and lack of charm used to put across the themes of women’s role in recency society and the lack of options for girls not interested in playing the marriage mart mind games. 
Jane Austen, for example, makes many of the same points regarding women in her novels but instead of beating us over the head with it, she uses wit, eloquence and wisdom to get her points across. 
But, above all, I disliked just how self involved Eloise was, what a major chip on her shoulder she had. She’s a privileged girl from an immensely powerful and rich family that spends her days whining and being dismissive of everyone around her. 
She spends most of season 1 picking fights with Daphne for no reason and the second season making fun of Colin and running around town like a chicken without a head not so much because she wants to find out who Lady Whistledown is but because she’s bored and wants something to do (something other than talking to men potentially interested in marrying her because she’s gay she’s not like other girls). 
Even as I’m writing this, I’m questioning whether I’m even the right person to defend Eloise because, as you can clearly tell, I don’t much care for her. But I do think Polin and Penelope fans are really misjudging Eloise and wanting to make her the villain of season 3 due to her resentment towards Penelope and her anger at the Polin engagement.
So I guess I have to be the hero without a cape in this instance. 
Here it goes …
It’s very easy to look at the friendship between Eloise and Penelope in season 1 and 2 and conclude that Eloise has always been a bad friend to Penelope. After all, almost every scene they have together is about Eloise, her interests and passions, her frustrations at the ton and the marriage mart, her inability to fit in with societal expectations, her quest to find out the identity of Lady Whistledown etc, etc. There’s almost never room for Penelope to even get a word in because Eloise talks and talks and keeps on talking. 
But I’d like to put forth another interpretation and say that perhaps this dynamic in the relationship isn’t all on Eloise. That it’s Penelope herself that prefers it that way. That she’d much rather talk about Eloise and her issues than to reveal anything truly meaningful or vulnerable about herself. 
A scene that supports this theory is the scene they have in season 2, episode 1: 
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This is about as open and vulnerable Penelope ever is with Eloise and in this scene we can observe several things: 
Despite her being more open than usual, Penelope is still lying to Eloise. She talks about how she enjoys being a wallflower because she can have all the fun without the pressure that comes with being in the spotlight. In reality we know Penelope would love to be in the spotlight but is frightened of being rejected. She’s not having fun hugging the wall at all and yet she’s unable to share that with her friend. 
As soon as Penelope opens up, albeit only partially, Eloise is quick to notice that, despite pretending not to enjoy the balls and the marriage mart, Penelope actually likes all of these things. This shows not only that she knows Penelope pretty well (as well as Penelope herself will allow Eloise to know her) but that, despite disagreeing on the topic, she’s supportive of Penelope and listens to her. 
It’s also worth comparing the way Eloise behaves with Penelope vs. the way she behaves with Cressida in season 3. 
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Cressida and Eloise’s relationship is much more balanced and equal because Cressida stands up for herself, pushes back at Eloise when she needs to (like explaining why she needs to marry Lord Debling despite not being compatible) or when Eloise accuses her of telling everyone about Colin helping Penelope find a husband. 
And Eloise learns to adjust. She becomes a more supportive friend, sharing her knowledge of birds so that Cressida can impress Lord Debling, making conversation with him when Cressida doesn’t know what to say and coming to her house to visit her and offer support. 
My point is: Eloise is not perfect. She’s self involved and dismissive of things she isn’t personally interested in but is willing to put in the work for a friend if said friend is honest with her about what they need from their friendship. 
Which leads us back to Penelope. Eloise is the most meaningful relationship in her life (Colin is as well but that’s a much more fraught relationship for Penelope because she wants to be lovers not friends) and yet she refuses to share the two most important aspects of her life with her friend: her love for Colin and her being Lady Whistledown. 
Let’s leave Colin to the side for now because Eloise being his sister complicates matters as far as Penelope telling her she’s in love with him. 
But why doesn’t she tell Eloise about Lady Whistledown? Particularly in season 1, when she’s just starting to write the scandal sheet. She has no idea where Lady Whistledown will even lead, if she’ll keep going etc. She’s basically doing it because she’s a writer and she wants to have fun talking about the society she knows so well. 
So why not share the fun with her friend? It’s pretty clear Eloise doesn’t even know Penelope is a writer and hasn’t seen anything she ever wrote before Lady Whistledown because, otherwise, she’d know it was Penelope doing it. 
Also let’s not forget that, in season 1, Eloise was Lady Whitledown’s number 1 fan. She can’t stop talking about how amazing and brilliant she is. 
And yet Penelope says nothing. She’d rather grin proudly behind Eloise’s back than go: “Actually this woman you like so much … I am she. She is me.”
She again fails to do it in season 2, despite knowing that Eloise helped her in escaping the queen’s men at the end of season 1. 
And then the worst part of their friendship begins as the pressure from the queen mounts and Eloise is more and more determined to find out the identity of Lady Whistledown. Penelope chooses to gaslight and manipulate Eloise for weeks.
It’s not just Eloise’s relationship with Theo and her attending political meetings that put her in harm’s way and eventually forces Lady Whistledown to write about her in order for the Queen to stop suspecting Eloise. It’s Penelope’s refusal to be honest with her friend. 
Penelope is so determined to keep Eloise in the dark that even at the end of season 2, when she walks into her bedroom and sees Eloise, she still tries to gaslight her one last time. 
Penelope: You’ve been reading too much Whistledown. Her voice is echoing in your head. 
Penelope is stuck in a pattern of toxic behavior because that’s what she’s learned to do from her family. She cannot be honest about Lady Whistledown or anything truly meaningful, despite how hard it is for her to remain isolated and in the shadows: 
Penelope: You have no idea how horrible it has felt to keep this from you! From everyone! For so long. 
It’s no wonder that, in their fight scene, Eloise tells her: 
Eloise: I do not even know you. 
That’s because Penelope herself has made it so that the people closest to her, Eloise and Colin, don’t actually know the real her. She’s given each of them what she thought they wanted and needed (she’s very similar to Colin in that way) but not enough of the real her.
So when the Lady Whistledown revelation happens, there’s nothing for Eloise to fall back on in order to try and understand Penelope. 
All of a sudden her best friend feels like a stranger. A stranger that has exposed her intimate affairs to the whole world and who tells her this: 
Penelope: At least I did something. All you ever do is talk about doing something. You have all of these great ambitions, these great plans but I am the one who actually did something great and you can’t stand it, can you? 
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Now, because we, as the audience, are privy to Penelope’s inner world and we know just how riddled with low self-esteem she is and how she’s used to those closest to her being dismissive of her or her achievements, it’s easy for us to see that Penelope tells Eloise this in anger. Particularly after Eloise tells her:
Eloise: I look at you now and all I feel is pity for you. Sequestered here, in this very room, writing your secret little scandal sheet, tarnishing everyone in town all because you are too afraid to stand up for yourself in reality. You are something else, Penelope. An insipid wallflower, indeed. 
Eloise’s words hit too close to home. Too close to the reality of Penelope’s isolation and fear of being alone and abandoned so she hurts Eloise back the only way she can. By pointing to the fact that despite talking and talking endlessly about all the great things women, and she in particular, could be doing, Eloise isn’t actually doing anything. 
Basically, these two manage to hurt each other worse than anyone else could because they’re best friends, because they know each other and what makes the other one tick. 
But from Eloise’s perspective? In this moment, where she’s been betrayed by her best friend? Well, Penelope doesn’t feel like a friend at all. She feels like someone who got close to her only to exploit her so she could write a scandal sheet and make money off of her misery: 
Eloise: This was personal. 
Penelope: Eloise, I’m so sorry. I was only trying to protect you. 
Eloise: Is that what you were doing? By writing about me in your latest sheet? By telling the entire world about things I trusted you with? [...] The only person you were interested in saving was yourself. All so you could keep making money at the cost to everyone else. At a cost to Miss Thompson. To my brother. To my entire family. To your entire family. [...] All because of your self serving manipulations. 
Which brings us to Eloise’s reaction to the closeness between Colin and Penelope and the announcement of their engagement. 
To Eloise’s credit, since their fight, she’s tried her hardest to be an adult and not punish Penelope more than she needs to. She’s very hurt by what her friend did and she can’t trust her but she also doesn’t want to hurt Pen.
She’s kept the Lady Whistledown secret and refuses to tell Colin why their friendship fell apart because she doesn’t want Penelope to lose the one friend she still has. 
She also misses Penelope which is why she ends up telling Cressida about Colin helping her find a husband. She’s trying to figure out what’s going on with her friend and the only way Eloise knows how to figure stuff out is by talking … and talking … and talking … in full earshot of everyone at the ball. 
But despite all of this, as far as she knows, Penelope is still the girl that divulged her secrets, ruined Marina Thompson’s reputation and hurt Colin, not only by revealing Marina’s pregnancy but by taking cheap shots at him only weeks before her brother waltzes into the Bridgerton drawing room to announce he’s engaged to Penelope Featherington. 
What kind of sister would Eloise be if she wasn’t angry at Penelope for that? If she didn’t want Colin to find out the truth as soon as possible? 
Personally, I think she’s showing real restraint. She cares so much about Penelope that she’s not dragging her brother into the study the moment she hears the engagement news to tell him that he’s about to marry the dreaded Lady Whistledown. 
Which brings us back to my earlier point: Penelope never trusted Eloise enough to tell her she was in love with Colin. Maybe if Eloise knew that Penelope has had a crush on Colin since she was 10 years old, she might be able to understand this engagement better. 
But from her viewpoint, all she’s likely to see is that Colin is an impulsive romantic who once again has gotten engaged to a girl who is lying to him and using him to avoid social ostracization. 
I know that by the end of the season Eloise and Penelope will have mended their relationship and they will go back to being the besties we know they are.
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But what I would love to see in part 2 of the season is Penelope actually being brave and honest with the two people that she loves most in the world. Not just about her being Lady Whistledown but about the reasons why she became Lady Whistledown. It’s only by her decision to be vulnerable and open that she can actually mend her relationship with Eloise. 
Friendships aren’t just about being there for your friend, about listening and giving them what you think they need but also about allowing your friend to be there for you. To allow them to truly know you: your fears, your sadness, your hopes and dreams. That’s the only way for a friendship to thrive.
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anzulvr · 2 days
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୨୧ On Purpose Karma x (fem) Reader I| Chapter: 05 ୨୧
Prev || 05 Un? Fortunate || Next
⎯ "Just because you're a part of the student council doesn't mean you're allowed to get all cozy with Asano."  [Name] was sort of familiar with the student, a member of the fan club dedicated to the chairman's son, Asano Gakushu. 'It's way too early for this.' 
They'd never talked, but that didn't mean she hadn't had this same conversation with other people. It was as if his fan club had a precedent of hating [Name] before admitting members.
"I really don't know what you're talking about, but I can assure you there's nothing going on between-" The girl kept walking, harshly brushing her shoulder on [Name] in the process. She could barely get a word in.
It really wasn't like that. There was no reason for anyone to believe so, sure, she wasn't exactly out in the open about it but she was in a relationship. She isn't the type to mess with other guys behind Karma's back. She guessed it was the result of being the only girl on the council. They overanalyzed her every little step.
"If you want to be in the same class so badly just start failing until they throw you down with me."  Those were Karma's words from a few days ago, and [Name] was starting to consider them.
She couldn't decide if it was worth it or not. She was on top of her academics and as annoying as they were, spending so much time around the council meant the members grew on her.
'I need  something to drink...'
Out where the vending machines were she saw a familiar face, his blue hair tied up in pigtails. It had been so long since [Name] talked to Nagisa. As she was about to say hi, she noticed the green-haired girl who had been with him at the café. Her name was Kayano if she remembered correctly.
She didn't want to be rude and interrupt, that was the excuse she was going with. In full honesty, she was curious as to what Nagisa was doing with a girl, listening in for a bit wouldn't hurt.
"Explosives, guns, knives. I'm starting to doubt it's even possible to kill him." They were hovered over a notebook as if they were trying to solve a thousand-piece puzzle.
Some kind of game? That's what [Name] was wondering.
"but your notes are great, it's cool you're so observant Nagisa... what were we here for again?"
"Karma's strawberry milk."
"Yeah... He's a bit addicted don't you think?"
"Not as bad as your pudding thing... uh, hold on."
With instincts like Nagisas, he picked up on an uncounted-for presence. He shot Kayano a look, instructing her to quiet down with his eyes.
"[Name?]"
"Hey Nagisa! Sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop but you were busy."
"It's okay, How have you been?" He smiled warmly, internally he was praying you didn't hear anything strange.
"I'm good! I've missed you a lot, we haven't talked in forever!"
"We should hang out one of these days! Oh, I should introduce you, Kayano this is [Name], [Name] Kayano." He gestures between the both girls.
"Nice to meet you." Kayano shakes her hand.
"Why are there two types of strawberry milk here? Kayano, do you remember which one he gets?" asks Nagisa.
"No, just take a guess."
[Name] types on the vending machine's number pad. "He likes both but prefers this one, They taste the same to me though." She shrugs and almost hands the milk box to Nagisa, but she pulls back out of his reach at the last second.
"Can I go with you? I'll drop you off at your class!"
Nagisa smiles "That would be fun but you have your own class to get to."
"It's fine! I usually worried about skipping but only for a little won't hurt."
Nagisa is hesitant when he says "You'll face harsher consequences since you're in council." He didn't want her to feel rejected but if they walked together there was a pretty good chance she'd catch sight of Korosensei.
"The opposite actually, I get away with way more by being in council. It works out! Let's go I wanna see Karma."
Kayano yanks the milk from [Names] grasp. It's very abrupt and leaves an uncomfortable feeling in everyone. [Name] feels embarrassed, she's internally hoping they can't see it on her face. The feel becomes uncomfortable for a second, Kayano looks down not meeting [Names] eyes.
In an attempt to fix things [Name] apologizes, "Sorry, I get the hint, see you Nagisa." She smiles trying not to let things get more uncomfortable for anyone. They probably want to be alone.
"It's not like that! We'd like you to come but we'd get in a lot of trouble if anyone saw you with us, over the weekend we should meet up."
"Alright, we can do that." They wave goodbye to each other.
⊹₊ ⋆ Time skip ୨୧ ⊹₊ ⋆
"If you want to be in the same class so badly just start failing until they throw you down with me." [Name] and Karma were lying on his bedroom's wooden floor, staring up at the ceiling as they talked about whatever topic bubbled up on their minds.
"Hey Karma, do you really think I should drop down to E class?"
He looks at her curiously "What's got you thinking of that?"
"I was thinking of what you said the other day, maybe that is the only way we can be together."
"You don't have to sacrifice your grades for a few more hours with me, clinger."
"I wasn't gonna, it would take too long to get me to fail everything! Remind me why they decided to put you in that class again?"
"I broke a guy's arm." He says with not a second thought.
[Name] sighs "I can't do that..."
"I could do it for you, and you can take allll the credit. I got ways to make 'em play along!" If it were anyone else talking about this with so much excitement [Name] would question their mental state, but it's Karma.
"That's not what I meant... but thanks for having my back!"
Karmas is not sure about this, He knows [Names] fears and she's got lots of them. Spiders, thunder, heights, and much more, He questions if her heart could handle seeing a three-meter-tall octopus who might be the reason the world ends. Ultimately Karma decides to indulge in it, it would be nice having her around, on top of that she'd get along with his friends and definitely like the teachers more.
He thinks back to all the other stuff he pulled, none of which worked out but trying again wouldn't hurt, at least not him.
"You can try pulling pranks but it wasn't that effective for me."
"Help me think of something?"
"I wouldn't let you do it without me."
For now there was nothing to worry about, no one to distract them from one another, just the two of them.
note: sorry for still taking so long on request :,( I’m trying to balance the post of request and On Purpose, Ive also been reallll busy. Does anyone actuallyyyyy read this fic?? the updates are kinda just setting everything up rn, more Karma soon!
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orangekittyenergy · 2 days
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hi! is it too late to do an ask for the kiss roulette?? if not could you please do rolan with 14? a kiss to the stomach. 👀
Oooooooh 😏 It's never too late my friend!! 🫦 (Kiss asks here)
A Kiss to the Stomach - Rolan x reader (early relationship)
(im in an angsty mood so it came out a little tender)
The first thing you hear is the rustling of pages. The soft scrape of paper on paper. Your newly awake ears immediately feel overwhelmed by it; it sounds like someone is shuffling reams of paper right at your cheek. Before you can get too annoyed, your other senses start to return. You sense bright light just beyond your eyelids. You can smell a soft delicate scent. Flowers? Your mind feels fuzzy. Are you outside?
Your body slowly catches up and you feel plush sheets beneath you. A soft bed is cradling your body. You find yourself blissfully wondering where you are for a moment before the sudden rush of memories and pain comes washing back. A heated battle. A crash down into the water.
Your body jolts back to reality with a lurch and you find yourself trying to move. Your body refuses to comply. Instead, you let out a small groan and feel your eyelids flutter.
"Good morning." A voice approaches swiftly, getting louder as it joins you at your side. You swallow thickly, your tongue heavy. You feel dizzy, confused. Everything is muddled.
"Where...where is everyone?" You mumble through parched lips. Flashes of your companions fill your mind as your brain races to catch up.
"Shhh..this is the first night you've slept all the way through. You might feel a little off from the sleep tonic." You feel a hand gently stroke your hair. Rolan. It was Rolan's voice.
Your eyes snap open and meet his, gazing down at you. A sudden flood of memories fills your brain. The battle in the sky. The parting of ways on the docks. Your first stop had been to come here; to see him. A few fitful nights filled with nightmares later and he had finally convinced you to try a sleep potion.
"Gods." You groan and force one heavy arm up to run a hand across your face. "Why did I let you convince me to try that?"
He smirks at you and lets out a huff of air.
"Well, you needed sleep. Dont cry. You'll be up and feeling much better in no time." He replies, a teasing lilt to his voice.
You turn your head to face him, begrudgingly having to admit to yourself that you are already feeling better and more alert by the second. But, you wouldn't admit that to him.
"Have you ever tried one? Ugh, I feel like I drank a whole barrel of wine last night." You give another groan. He fights away a smile and pushes his lips out in mock concern.
"I guess there's no helping you then. Here I thought I was housing the hero of Baldurs Gate, not a whimpering child."
You chuckle softly and attempt to sit up to be met with a rush of pain in your abdomen. You wince and pull down the covers a touch and raise your nightshirt to find your stomach still covered in bruises. You frown at the sight.
"Ah yes, potions and spells can only do so much. Your body still needs mending. You need r e s t." He says, enunciating each letter as if to prove his point that he was correct about the potion. Your eyes snap back up to his with a heated look.
"I can't just sit around here and let you wait on me." A slight blush crosses your cheek and a slight slip of a bruised ego at the idea of lazing around in bed all day and being tended to. Rolan smiles softly back at you; knowing all too well himself just how bad an ego can be bruised.
"You can and you will. I insist. Despite what others may think, I can be a very good caretaker." His smile fades slightly and his eyes dart away for a moment. "I won't let anything else happen to you." He adds quietly.
After a moment's hesitation, he leans down and plants a careful kiss on the tender skin of your stomach. He lingers there a moment, his breath hot on your skin, avoiding your gaze as he often does when confessing something emotional.
"Let me take care of you. Please?" He breathes out on your stomach.
You squeeze your lips together, the sudden moment of intimacy replacing all feelings of pain. You suddenly feel like you could hop out of bed right then, ready for battle again. Instead, you reach up and gently tuck a few strands of hair behind his ear letting your fingers linger there a moment.
"Fine. Tend to me. I won't argue." You let your body ease back into the bed, resolve gone and pushing away any lingering hints of your ego. Rolan gives one more soft kiss and leans up, pulling your shirt back down for you.
"There. Was that so hard?" He raises an eyebrow at you with a smirk on the corner of his lips, his teasing tone back. "I'll go fetch you breakfast."
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eclaire-went-bam · 10 days
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bcs i'm aware of how i automatically percieve people, i earnestly try to give the benefit of the doubt a lot. i tend to believe people are Actually Just That Dumb™ when they're joking about something, so i try to get ahead of that & tell myself people are joking when they say something stupid, so that i don't look stupid
all i've learnt in doing that, is most of the time, people aren't joking. they actually did mean what they say, & i made the situation 10× worse by laughing at what they said.
not only does it reinforce the idea in my head that people are Dumb so i need to take the reins on literally Everything, but it also leads people to believe i'm making fun of them for saying something silly & talking to me less, when, if i knew it were a genuine thing they thought, i would have gladly explained it without judgement
but i don't really know how to stop treating them as jokes, because what if they ARE joking so they laugh at me for how Stupid i am for taking the bait? i can't handle being made a fool of, i think i'd rather die
#this is in part bcs my father was like this all the time i believe#i'd talk abt one of my special interests & he'd deliberately say something stupid about it#so that he could laugh at me whenever i explained how it actually worked#a lotta ppl in my family tend to pretend to be dumb around me actually. so i gave up on talking abt science special interests#i do have personal gripes with words like “stupid” & “dumb” so know in my head i Know they're toxic & have ableist connotations#but my automatic kneejerk reaction to things is to think Stupid even if i don't say it bcs of the constantly devaluing of everyone around me#everything's a competition. don't lose or show your hand and things will be better for you.#don't give people a reason to think you're incompetent. isolation is better than risking danger & ridicule so long if it's isolation because#you're on a higher plane than everybody else.#or something like that#it's not that deep#npd#narcissistic personality disorder#cluster b#autism#bcs i cant with tones#i guess this may be a fine way of looking at things on the internet with strangers bcs bait is rlly annoying#however when it comes to interpersonal relationships irl and online it's a problem. especially when logically you KNOW your circle doesn't#rlly have anyone who pretends to be stupid to you so they can laugh at you. i think they will anyways.#if anything *i* tend to be like that to people i like less. i pretend to be stupid abt something so they can mansplain it to me & i get#silent supply off so easily having control over what they're feeling towards me & what they're doing even if they think They have the reins#in the discussion. tho i won't view it as making ppl take the bait & i won't openly mock people#i'm a hypocrite
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#i do not want to work tomorrow i want to lay in bed and be sad#i’m really realizing how miserable of a person i am i am always fucking Sad and when i do feel happy i cry when it’s over#and i can’t even resemble a human being without medication and i know that’s fine but i’m still always sad. it doesn’t go away#i feel like nobody deserves to have me weighing them down like i’ve cried in front of people three times this week and i know it’s fine#but i feel so fucking guilty about it and i feel guilty about everything i feel like i’m doing nothing right and i’m not dealing with thing#right and i’m not living right and i feel like it must be so fucking difficult to love me and i don’t know how people do it#i don’t even feel capable of asking for. any sort of love ever#i feel like i don’t deserve like anything. i feel like nobody actually wants to do things for me lol#every single dsy i’m like wow i want to be held and every single dsy i feel bad even asking for a hug from someone#when i need reassurance i’m afraid to ask because what if i’m just being annoying and overbearing and too much Bad#i never feel like too much good. only bad.#i know a lot of these shitty thoughts are just because i’ve been unmedicated (meds will be ready tomorrow lol) but it just like#it sucks to know medication just kinda hides these thoughts better and that deep down i feel like this because i don’t want to#i feel like everyone in my life doesn’t deserve someone who doubts everything all the time#i think my mother deserved a stronger daughter and i think my friends deserve someone that’s not always breaking and i just don’t feel Good#i don’t know why anyone keeps me around#sometimes i feel selfish for sticking around and that sounds so awful and i’m not gonna act on it but i just feel like a waste of a person#the last week has been so good and now i’m just a fucking mess and i feel so fucking guilty about that :)#i feel like no matter what i always just default to miserable#i don’t feel like i’m doing enough at all#i’m struggling in school i don’t work enough i can barely take care of myself#like i wouldn’t even properly take care of myself if taylor wasn’t helping me i feel so guilty about that all the time#i feel so guilty for even thinking any of this right now and i’m trying to remind myself that i’m unmedicated and i’ve had a long day#and my best fucking friend just went back home and i’m allowed to be sad about that but i just. feel like i’m making excuses i guess#it’s not immoral to be sad but maybe when i’m wanting to die all the time i’m the problem. idk#anyway i’m gonna go to sleep and i’m gonna try to convince myself tomorrow will be better#sndnsksjkakejdkalwosjhdkwosjdjsk. i will be fine
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qilinkisser · 6 months
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:(((
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nyupuun · 8 months
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Oh I completely forgot. I did go to the Structure event !!
I ended up buying 3 and that ended up being my deck for the event... All things considered, I didn't do too bad. I lost 3 games and won 2, so nothing too amazing, but honestly I didn't care too much cause I was too excited over the fact that I can summon Red Supernova Dragon and all that (I ended up only summoning her one game... 🥲 But I did win that one!!!! The other RDA cards were so fun too, I'm a huge fan of big dragons.)
Anyways, maybe if I fix up the deck I'll take it to locals again, although I'm unsure what exactly to do against stuff like Unchained and Purrely (but I am generally a bit clueless there .. I also kinda don't care that much? I'm happy enough to play a few rounds even if I lose. But also! I did win against Unchained once so maybe I just have to overwhelm my opponent quickly. Like how the king does it!!!)
Also I had to try be normal about the Everybody's King card cause it makes me so sad 5Ds is so awful (said lovingly and full of joy)
(Another person also shared my enthusiasm for 5D's which made me really happy, although I felt a bit silly cause they would go like 'oh i liked this scene and that' and I'd say what episode it was and what i liked about that episode and i felt really insane.)
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exopelagic · 6 months
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auuudggghghhrhrhrbrr
#okay I’m feeling Bad and I need to unpick why before I’ll be able to sleep#friend is asking abt lunch on Friday when I already have standing commitment w other friends then so I can’t do that.#but I also go home on Sunday and I can’t do shit until Friday bc work and I have plans on Saturday so I just. can’t see them#which. I guess makes things easier actually that’s not something I can control and I’m not changing existing plans that’s unfair#I’m also listening to a playlist of old music (Apple Music generated favourites — so literally random picked from everything I’ve ever done#and the last few songs have made me feel Bad bc of being associated with certain times but song playing rn is definitively a good song#w a good memory attached and it’s MY song not one of my old friends#okay where are we#I’m stressed abt presentation on Thursday but also a non issue. I’m prepared. I have all day tomorrow to practice and read up more#and then it’s 20 minutes on Thursday morning I’ll be done before 10am#I am. a little frustrated on a broader scale about the role I’m currently occupying#in that w a bunch of my friends I’m having to be the one with their shit together and dealing with their Stuff.#mostly in the way that I have to be putting in extra effort to tiptoe around them and steer stuff to keep them happy#i can do it i can do it easily I’ve just tasted not having to now so it’s. noticeably different having to do it more#i do Not have the words to talk abt this in the way I want to it’s so annoying#it’s like. I know how my friend responds to stuff. I know the things that make her anxious and what her instinctual responses will be#and I’m constantly having higher level thoughts planning out how things will go it’s effortless and constant it’s just There#with everyone all the time but sometimes I use it more and sometimes I have to because I’m in a position where if I don’t we’ll get nowhere#and I don’t like that I’m having to worry abt keeping other people happy while I’m talking to my friends it removes me a layer from stuff#hrm. there are broader questions here abt the utility of this bc like. sure it helps in some situations#but this probably isn’t great long term for either of us. wild. goddamn talking to my friend abt philosophy opened new parts of my brain#anyway I cba to have those thoughts rn! it’s midnight! I’m going to bed in half an hour <3#it’s honestly unfair that I have to do anything other than be gay and play pokemon#luke.txt#uaUrghrhfhjs I’m also being insane abt a guy. which is predictable and I feel stupid abt for multiple reasons but. here we are.#I’m being insane. and maybe I should be less mean to myself but I feel like I’m being insane.#I think! I need to go to bed!#I am not being insane I am having feelings and that is allowed. feelings are typically regarded as a pretty normal thing to have.#philosophy friend is gonna be so mad at me if anything comes of this but it’s fine and if it does I think I’ll be pretty happy anyway#point is I’m doing nothing wrong and have done nothing wrong and I’m allowed to feel whatever the hell I like. okay.
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evandorepart2 · 1 year
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ok anyway im leaving in. the day after tomorrow at like 2am so im just saying its tomorrow cause im literally just gonna stay up till then theres no point in sleeping. BUT two things. one i need to finish packing. my clothes are dry so i just have to bring them upstairs and pack. sort of stressed out bc like. i like my outfit i dont want to change it but everyones telling me its too hot for a leather jacket like i know!!!! but its my jacket :(
anyway i just have to do that so ill do it now and then…on top of that i wanted to get the draft for my ghost story done but i havent been working on it at all >_< ive just been reading comics the past couple days. so tomorrow. for sure. i will definitely work in getting the draft done totally.
but ugh im kind of nervous i havent seen these people in so long and im not great socially. also i dont go on trips in general so like. i hope i have energy for a full month yknow. i have a tendency of isolating myself when im stressed out but i dont have any space to do that…not that i should but whatever you know
#LIKE. im just eugh like im Bad at small talk. im better at dispensing information and leaving it that#or listening. ive been practicing listening a lot more so i dont overtalk and everyone gets a turn#OH RIGHT!!!! i hope. cause i have 4 cousins. two are toddler age#one is a little younger than me so like 13 but hes a boy idk how he is cause he might be annoying no offense <3#and then an older girl whos around my brothers age so a few years older. and we never rlly talked cause it was always my brorher and her#last i saw them i was like. god idk it couldnt have been too young cause i got black out drunk before i stayed with them#so. 11? 12? definitely younger than 13 i know for a fact#im bad with times tho#anyway its been a while and im a lot older now. so i hope shes there so we can talk and be friends idk#apparently my brother isnt close to her anymore? he called her a bitch last time we talked abt her so. hope i do see her#and my aunt! i always liked her a lot and my brothers prob gonna be busy with our uncle. ill be stuck with the younger kids but thats ok i#dont mind since im used to handling my sister. apparently theyve wanted to meet me for a long time so i am super excited#i dont think anyones gonna expect what i look like tho lol i dont think anyone could have guess me being punk#not even me like i distinctly remember in elementary my friend. we were talking about mcr and emo / punk stuff and he was like. you coukd#never be like that. ummmmm well guess what dickhead!!!! jokes were actyally still close lol#ANYWAY i am fucking excited and nervous and have to find a normal way to bring up 18th century fashion or perhaps history of contemporary#folk
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mrfoox · 1 year
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Idk how Oliver manage to be both the biggest bitch and the nicest person I know at the same time lmao
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marklikely · 2 years
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theres been a lot of talk about cinemasins again lately and idk how i feel cause on one hand its definitely untrue when people act like they invented this nitpick, shallow plot-hole-ding style of movie criticism and maybe they get way too much shit for that, but on the other hand they are just so very annoying & obviously wrong and therefore easy to use as scapegoats
#also 'cinemasins style' is a perfect name for this time of commentary#avpost#idk its definitely not true that they invented this type of content#because even just specifically on youtube doug walker has been aroun since 2008 or so.#even then idk if you can say that these youtubers created or popularized this nonsense or if its just always been an issue#and they just made shows out of it. i mean maybe its always been widespread and thats how they got popular in the first place#i dont know because im too young to weigh in on that. i was not around for a world of film criticism pre youtube.#but also i feel like theyre definitely promoting this lazy shallow content as 'deep and So Smart' to their fanbases which is worth debunkin#debunking**#plus like i said theyre just so easy to target because its literally so easy to refute a cinemasins video if you just turn ur brain on#im also just not sure how to go about talking abt this type of content in general cause on one hand it annoys me so so so much#but also idk im not immune to liking stuff like this. ill watch a bad movies and a beat. ill watch a kurtis conner#but even then for me when i go in the top comments and everyones acting like this is serious and intellectual criticism#or when those creators try to discuss a serious film in the same way and its just a complete failure#its still kind of annoying. its hard for me to parse what makes it work and what makes it fail.#i guess just you have to be funny and cant take yourself too seriously as soon as you take yourself too seriously it all falls apart
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readymades2002 · 2 years
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buzz library embarrassment.......finally got the courage to go for the first time since moving and did not anticipate that this would be an issue but my card expired and i did not have any proof of address so i could not check anything out. humiliating.............
#my mom sent a screenshot of my name on the lease over the phone after i texted about it but by then#the librarian id been talking to about it was gone and the other open desk had a line and thinking about doing it#and having it not work because it was my mom's account made me so nervous i just put all my books back and left...#well...found out the library stocks some books i didnt know if they'd have at least so i can look next time i guess.....sniffle#also this is a library that has video games and they had the switch copy of sayonara wild hearts. i feel like im being taunted#(i do not own a switch)#im quite sad but i do like the library...someone with rainbow earrings complimented my single gay earring and i returned it#so that was nice. i really like just being there but as soon as i got back in the car and explained to mom what happened#(after she had been waiting on me and my dawdling in the heat for like an hour because i got caught up in the glory of library)#she was trying really really hard not to be annoyed and i appreciate that she tried i guess but i still feel rotten about it#having to push through like. 50 layers of fear of being outside to have it fail and just waste everyone's time and no way to make it up....#i feel awful for trying at all. i hate how difficult it is and i hate that i fuck it up every time and i dont have anything that like#im just here and theres no benefit to it. it just makes everyone's life a little harder and a little worse that i'm around. i hate it
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anaalnathrakhs · 2 years
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i want IMMEDIATE GRATIFICATION i’ve done the small talk i’ve done the compliments i’ve done the optimism i’ve done the kindness and understanding, i want irl friends NOW or i’m gonna start biting
#i'm tired of waiting for my life to start i want to GO OUT and i want to DO THINGS and i want to have goddamn friends for once in my life#i'm doing my best with what i have but i havent had a close friend irl since i was 11 and i don't like. do things.#i have no idea what i'm doing and i'm TRYING i'm being nice and making small talk and inviting people to do thing on the rare occasion i can#and it doesn't motherfucking work i want a refund i want to start over roll everything back to my birth#everyone already has a friend group and i'm just flailing around like a fish being a moderately nice accquaintance to people#it was so nice out tonight and i would cut off my own arm to have a kinda sucky night under the rain downtown with friends#rather than to be in my mom's car#i can manage it easier now that i'm not depressed anymore and that i have friends online and get along pretty well with people#but it fucking hurts so much seeing people out having fun I WANT THAT I WANT TO GO DO THINGS AND BE SOCIAL#some of my acquaintances have stopped answering some of them stay kinda cold and don't talk much#i was friends with one for a while but we never did anything it sucked and she deleted and stopped talking so there's that#and i have a bunch of numbers or discords and i don't fucking KNOW how to talk to them. i don't have things to SAY#which i guess means ''work on yourself instead of being an empty shell of a person jerkass'' but i have no idea how to do that#and my therapist kinda. didn't help me when i asked.#so fuck me i guess#i'm fine it's fine i had a moderately annoying evening#vent#broadcasting my misery
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thecherrygod · 6 months
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I've been having a specific thought all day and now it's 3 am so you know what that means <3
#my posts#.. look its not like its bad#its not good but its not bad either i think#it implies. stuff thats a big bad but. the thought itself is. okay?#its like.#i love people around me and i care about them and i want them to be okay#and im always fucking baffled when i realize they can actually feel the same about me?#they can love me like i love them and care for me as i care for them?? fucking wild#it's. hard to accept#ive said something similar before i think#i just struggle a lot accepting people can feel now for me then hate or tolerate me#they can like me and enjoy my company and maybe even love me? hard to believe but what do they gain by lying it has to be true and. damn#... it's driving weird lmao it gives me mixed feelings!#partially bc i like knowing i am liked bc of course but also. why would you do that to yourself lmao#this is when it is actually bad: i do feel like i am unlovable and if you fell in my trap you will notice soon enough#what trap?? being annoying???#.... even when people tell you youre not annoying but you can't take that one out of your head lmao but still it's#... it just doesn't make sense and I'm just waiting for them to see the world as everyone else does and notice it's not worth it i guess#that i will make whatever mistake i seem to always make that makes people don't like me or that this thing idk about will fuck it all up#... even if people do seem to like me or at least be okay with me being around or i manage to put myself out there#but i really can't shake off the feeling im annoying no matter what lmao#that one post about being the mutual that's always grieving was the last push to actually post this lmao bc it's been in my head all day#bc I'm always mourning what i fuck up enough that it doesn't even happen or what is happening but i will make it end by fucking it up lmao#... man. fuck it. i just wish i had a more functional brain and not one that was like this#.. i should go to sleep says like 3.30am
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rafayelism · 4 months
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dating the love and deepspace boys | domestic moments
featuring: rafayel, xavier, and zayne x gn!reader
(´• ω •`) ♡ modern au! can you guys tell raf is my favorite..?
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rafayel
a year younger than you. lies to everyone (including you) that he’s actually two years your senior. you only found out he was younger than you when you met his parents, who have his birth certificate framed. 
hates cats. despises them. they fill him with rage (fear). says he’s allergic (he’s lying).
“oh shit raf, this sucks! i guess you can’t move in with me.. i have cats”
“...you have cats?”
“yeah. 3.”
“i’m not allergic. i can move in tonight.”
chronically online. minoring in marine biology and majoring in annoying you. texts you over 200 times a day and if you don’t respond, he’s faking a horrible chronic illness. again. it’s amnesia on wednesdays, appendicitis on thursdays, chronic migraines on fridays… etc..
he has 2 followers on his private twitter. you and thomas. 
over 700k followers on instagram for some reason? he sells paintings on depop (he says it's depop but you’re convinced he sells them for heinous prices on the black market) 
cooks on occasion? has an apron that says kiss me im irish (he's not irish?) made you a tuna cupcake once?? 
pescatarian. not in the vegan/vegetarian way where he refuses to eat red meat but because he’s absolutely feral over fish. (is this cannibalism? he says its not)
lives in a 2 bedroom apartment with you but doesn’t use his bedroom. says your bed is comfier. turned his bedroom into a painting studio (IT’S for the black market you say!!) and sleeps with you. 
“raf,” you sigh. “don’t you have.. homework or something?” 
he sits between your legs, back against your chest as he scrolls through his phone. 
“yeah,” he says. you flick the back of his head because you know he’s smirking. “it’s called assignment: you. due in two minutes.” 
with his free hand, he reaches back mindlessly to grab yours. you sigh, fingers intertwining with his, a reflex as he leans his head back. his eyes meet yours and you can’t help but laugh. 
“well?” you ask, brushing his hair out of his eyes as he squeezes your hand. “what are the assignment details?” 
he chews on the bottom of his lip as he thinks, humming while his eyes wander across your face. he swings your interlocked hands in circles. it’s raining outside, the heater is on, and rafayel is warm like hot chocolate. 
“what?” he says, his cheeks a tinge pink. “you’re looking at me like that again.” a pause. he turns, his head now buried in your chest.
“just studying my homework.” you say, hands instinctively wrapping around his back. the laundry machine is running in the background, rain is falling against the window, and you faintly hear your rice cooker dinging in the kitchen. home, you think, is with rafayel.
“i can hear your heartbeat.” he says, voice muffled. “it’s super fast. you like me or something?” 
“i really like you.” you say, without skipping a beat. rafayel groans into your chest, sighing in discontent. 
“no fair. i’m supposed to be the flirter.” 
you press a kiss onto the top of his head and you feel his body melt into yours. the two of you fall into a warm silence, his breath steady as he traces paintings into your neck. 
“raf?” you mumble, eyes drooping. he hums in response. “did you pass your assignment?” 
he smiles. “with flying colors.” 
xavier
chronic napper. (yapper?) 
has 100 late assignments. failing all of his classes yet got into the top university in your country because he got a perfect score on his entrance exams. you thought he was a nepo baby (turns out he’s just.. smart?)
his procrastination rubs off on you… he is the WORST distraction and he knows it. so smug about it and uses it to his own advantage. will perch on top of you when you’re studying and kiss down your neck until you go to sleep with him. 
lives in the apartment on top of yours but is at your house most days, if not all. you ask him to move in.
“am i not already.. living with you?” 
“don’t you still have your apartment, though?”
“yeah..?”
 is that good for the economy?? is it financially smart? not at all, but he’s too lazy to move out and put his apartment up for lease. 
xavier sleeps with his legs entangled with yours and his arms wrapped tightly around your chest. the air conditioning hums in the background as you scroll mindlessly on your phone, dimming the brightness as you hear xavier stir. 
“sorry xav, did i wake you up?” you ask. he doesn’t respond, blinking the sleep out of his eyes as he glares at your phone. 
“xavier?” you question, swallowing a laugh at his ruffled hair and disheveled clothes. 
“phone down.” he says, voice raspy with sleep and an octave lower than usual. you raise an eyebrow at him. 
“can i get a pretty please in this economy?” 
xavier’s eyes narrow as he snatches your phone away, snoozing the device and placing it on the nightstand next to you. his lips ghost your neck, pressing kisses against your skin as he mumbles incoherently in the dark of your bedroom. 
“xavier-” you breathe, giggling at the sensation. “that tickles!” 
he nips at your neck. 
“bedtime. now.” 
zayne
3 years older than you 
he literally has his whole life together at 27 which scares you so much
“my credit card is your credit card” typa boyfriend
cooks. cleans. has a 9-5. you’re interning at the hospital that he works at (he’s head doctor!!)
you’re just a sweet little intern and zayne is the big bad monster!! everyone at work thinks he hates you because he’s extra strict on you. doesn’t give you any special treatment, ‘ignores’ you most days (but also slips meals into your locker and hands you heat packs on cold days in the hospital)
no one knows he’s dating you until one day someone sees you leaving in zaynes car. 
“oh, you carpool with doctor zayne?”
“huh? no, we live together.”
“you WHAT???”
he’s a virgo……. erm……
the two of you get ready together in the morning. his guard is down when he’s sleepy and he’ll cling to you as he brushes his teeth and does his hair.
you wake up to the cold night breeze, blinking the sleep out of your eyes and shivering as you scan your surroundings. you yelp as you meet the attentive gaze of your boyfriend. 
“huh? whuh? huh?” you splutter, squirming as zayne holds you tighter. he’s carrying you bridal style in his arms, his jacket around your shoulders as the two of you walk to his car. you see the bright lights of akso hospital fading away behind the two of you. 
“it’s two am,” he says calmly, placing you down gently as he opens your car door for you. “you waited for my shift to end. again.” 
you smile bashfully, rubbing the back of your head. “well, i didn’t wanna just leave you!” 
zayne clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth, eyebrows furrowed but gaze warm. he guides you into your seat, clicking your seatbelt in place. 
“you can nap on the way home,” he says, closing the door and sliding into his side of the car. 
the heater’s on already- courtesy of his super expensive electric car. he fastens his own seatbelt and hands you a hot tea and bread from the hospital vending machine. 
“drink up. doctor’s orders.” 
you grin before he leans over to press a kiss on your lips. 
“thank you for waiting for me.”
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