#another loser of the try not to fall at least a little bit in love with karlach challenge

[mirrorhouse]

Minthara's thoughts on Karlach

[juyeonszn]

CLUMSY

PAIRING ju haknyeon x f!reader

WORD COUNT 6.03k

GENRES smut ﹒fluff

WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, mature language, reader and juhak are bio lab partners, juhak is lowkey a bit of a loser BUT DW HE REDEEMS HIMSELF, mentions of alcohol, a game of rage cage…, he’s down insanely bad, the flirting goes kinda crazy, someone calls the cops, they run from said cops, reader is Nawt wasting any time, pet names (juhak calls reader princess), tbh they’re both switches in some ways, kitchen sex, oral sex (f!receiving), fingering, edging, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, creampie lol

SUMMARY when haknyeon ran into you at a tbz party for the first time, he didn’t think he would fall for you so quickly. or literally. or both simultaneously. but there’s a first time for everything, he supposes.

MORE andddddd here we go 🫡 second fic of the black out or back out collab 🙏 i forgot to link the masterlist in the last one so im gonna link it in this one in case u wanna read any of the others!! ANYWAY i had such a fun time writing this one, any excuse i get to write for juhak, i will take trust <3 if u enjoyed, don’t forget to reblog! and pls check out the other fics so far!!

PERM TAGLIST @winterchimez @maessseongs @itsbeeble @zzoguri @deoboyznet @cloverdaisies @vernyangel

TAGLIST @millksea

SERIES MASTERLIST

Okay. So maybe trying to secure a girlfriend at a party wasn’t exactly Haknyeon’s best idea.

But, hey. You had to give him some credit. At least he was making an attempt. Most of his other frat brothers weren’t even making an effort. They seemed perfectly satisfied with charming their ways into random girls’ pants every weekend. Unfortunately, or fortunately considering he was a gentleman, Haknyeon wasn’t into that sort of thing.

It was just a little embarrassing that Kim Sunwoo’s love life had more progress than his own. Sunwoo was literally the resident loser bitch boy of the TBZ house. How was he closer to getting a girlfriend than he was? It made absolutely no sense.

Ju Haknyeon thought of himself as a catch. He was pretty neat, his room was cleaner than most guys’ his age. He knew how to cook basic meals, again, more than the average college sophomore. His car wasn’t on its last leg. (Cough cough… Kim Sunwoo, I’m looking at you.) He was a decent dude. He supported women’s rights and wrongs!

Apparently that was not enough these days.

“…And I need you to make sure the fridge is stocked completely. I’m not trying to drink my coffee without cream tomorrow morning because some idiot drank it while they were drunk.” Sangyeon commands, typing something furiously on his phone as some of the other guys move around the furniture.

“Bruh, I was in charge of buying everything last time. Why can’t someone else do it?” Kevin groans. Something else that wasn’t Haknyeon’s best idea? Walking into the kitchen during this very conversation. “What about JuHak? He looks like he has nothing better to do.”

“Yeah, whatever. That’s fine. Hak, I’m airdropping you the list.” Sangyeon waves his hand in dismissal, returning to his extensive presidential duties.

The sophomore deadpans, but doesn’t have the energy to argue back. You know, the usual fraternity was just a bunch of rich guys with more money than the tuition of each TBZ brother combined. However, the Tau Beta Zeta house was not your usual fraternity. It really was just a bunch of normal dudes thrown together. Though, Lee Sangyeon ran it like it was the fucking Navy.

Haknyeon accepts his defeat and grabs his things, heading out to the supermarket to shop for tonight’s party. Alcohol duty sucked more than door duty, in his opinion. You were sent out all alone, tasked with bringing back enough liquor and beer to last until early hours of the morning. It was a near impossible mission, unless you were Kevin Moon and good at practically everything in the world.

He pushes around the shopping cart mindlessly, though he knows he’ll have to make another trip. A long sigh leaves his lips as he enters the alcohol aisle. He fills the bottom of the cart with different cases of beer until he thinks he may drop one, and then starts to place things in the basket. He feels like a dumbass hauling it over to the registers, like everyone can see right through him.

He has to remind himself that this is for a good cause, that it’ll be worth it when everyone is enjoying themselves at the party. His actions won’t be in vain. Even after the second trip with another cart full of beer and various liquor bottles, Haknyeon keeps repeating affirmations in his head. This has to be the party.

In fact, he thinks his thoughts have manifested into reality when he sees you walking into the grocery store at the same time he’s leaving. You’re his pretty Bio lab partner. He’s always too nervous to hold a substantial conversation with you, so he settles for the bare minimum, which is unfulfilling small talk during your labs. It’s never what he needs though. Aside from your name, Haknyeon knows nothing about you.

“Y/N?” What he wants right now, however, is to shoot himself in the foot for sounding so unsure.

You glance up from your phone, a smile lighting up your face when you recognize him. “Haknyeon! Hey! What’s up?”

“Last minute preparations for the TBZ party tonight,” he gestures at his shopping cart with pursed lips. “You?”

“That’s so funny that you say that! My friends and I are going—“ You eye his cart with confusion. “Wait, I didn’t know you were in Tau Beta Zeta.”

“Yeah…” Haknyeon laughs awkwardly. “Surprise!”

You giggle, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but you don’t seem like the frat boy type. Then again, TBZ isn’t your average frat so, I guess that kinda adds up.”

Haknyeon’s not sure if he should take that as a compliment or not, but since it’s coming from you, he decides that he will. The realization that you mentioned you’d be attending the party finally sets in at that same moment. “So, I’ll see you later, then?”

You nod, smile widening. “Yeah, I’m just grabbing a bottle for us to bring with. But I’ll be there. Maybe we’ll bump into each other.”

God, he hopes so. This is the perfect opportunity for him to swoop in and learn everything he’s been dying to know about you. His tongue pokes the inside of his cheek. “I don’t know… I’m a busy man. It might be a little hard.”

That cute little laugh of yours makes another appearance. “I’ll be on the lookout, don’t worry. See you tonight, Haknyeon.”

Ju Haknyeon thinks that he must’ve done something monumental in a past life, like saving a dog from a burning building or stopping a world war. How else would the universe reward him this kindly? All he can do is wave as you maneuver around an elderly couple passing by into the store.

Maybe Kevin Moon wasn’t that bad. And maybe Lee Sangyeon wasn’t as big of a tyrant as he made him out to be. He could actually kiss the ground they walked on for forcing him into alcohol duty. If it weren’t for them, he wouldn’t have ran into you and he wouldn’t have known you were attending the party. Now he has something to look forward to that isn't getting shitfaced.

“What the hell are you wearing?”

Haknyeon looks away from his mirror, Hyunjae standing in the doorway. He has a cringe on his face at the sight of his outfit. It wasn’t the worst thing he’s ever worn, but it was… a bit too much. A black button up and black slacks was admittedly not the best frat party fit. The only good thing he had going for him was his hair that was styled for once, parted so his bangs framed his face nicely.

“This girl I’m kinda into is coming tonight. I need to look irresistible.” The younger explains, arms flailing at his sides.

“Okay, well you won’t accomplish that in this,” Hyunjae snorts, digging through his closet. “If she’s into you too, she won’t care what you’re wearing. Just throw on something you’d normally wear. Like… this! This is nice.”

Hyunjae holds up a black t-shirt and a black-washed denim jacket. Haknyeon hums. It was simple, but also once he put it on he wouldn’t feel like a douchebag, which was the whole goal here. Paired with some khaki cargo pants, he’s found a winner. He begrudgingly thanks his senior for the assistance, shooing him out of his bedroom so he can mentally prepare for the night ahead of him.

He doesn’t even know what to bring up now that he really tosses the idea around in his head. Yeah, he wants to learn more about you and what you’re like outside of your Bio lab, but specifically what he couldn’t say. Haknyeon was starting to feel like a lost cause. He had to clutch up tonight. He had to woo you so much that you had no choice but to fall for his cute face and endearing personality. But how was he meant to do that if he couldn’t even come up with topics to talk with you about?

Maybe he was just thinking too far into things. Perhaps he should just let it all go with the flow. Moving at an au natural pace was probably his best bet in comparison to Sunwoo’s soccer ball plan. (He’s still confused how that worked in his favor.)

Before he knows it, the party is swinging into full effect. This is the first time Haknyeon’s ever been so socially aware of his surroundings. He had a habit of blurring his atmosphere at these things, more interested in getting drunk with his buddies than paying attention to the attendees. As he stands in a corner of the living room, listening to Chanhee complain about treasurer stuff, he watches each and every person who enters the house.

When you finally do walk in, he has to physically stop himself from choking on the beer in his cup, biting the rim of the plastic in a weak attempt to sedate himself. If he thought you were gorgeous before in a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt, he doesn’t know what to call you now. You’re laughing at something one of your friends said, dolled up in a black mini skirt and a black cropped halter top while hugging a bottle of Pink Whitney to your chest. He could probably pass out right here right now.

He almost does, but then Chanhee is slapping his back aggressively. “Wipe the drool off of your chin. God, am I the only one who still has a brain?”

“Shut the fuck up, Chanhee, go cry about your life somewhere else.” Haknyeon dismisses his senior, downing the rest of his drink for some liquid courage. Though he is, he doesn’t want to seem too desperate, so he’s not going up to you this quickly. Instead, he heads into the kitchen to get another drink, rolling his neck like he’s preparing for the biggest win of the century.

It’s as he’s pouring some jungle juice into a fresh cup that you see him. A smile similar to the one from the store graces your features. There was only one person with a back like that, and it was your cute lab partner. You keep an arm wrapped around your bottle, tapping his shoulder lightly. He spins around confusedly, but the expression morphs into pleasant surprise immediately after.

“Pink Whitney? Easy choice,” he points at the bottle in your grasp. “Are you a lightweight, Y/N?”

Your cheeks warm up at the teasing remark. Upon first meeting, Haknyeon’s been an awkward mess around you. You can only assume the confidence stems from the fact that he’s within his element. “That’s for me to know, and you to find out.”

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were implying that you want me to get you drunk.” He tucks a hand into one of his jacket pockets, the other bringing his cup to his mouth. He’s unconscious of the source of this sudden bravery, but he prays it doesn’t fade off anytime soon.

“Maybe I do…” You bite your lip, undoing the seal of the Pink Whitney bottle to take a sip. It burns your throat slightly. “I’ve never hung out with a frat boy before. I kinda wanna see what the hype is all about.”

Haknyeon thinks he might pass out again, because if he wasn’t so acutely aware of your entire interaction, he would think you’re flirting with him. Friendliness was a double edged sword in this day and age. But who knows, maybe you are flirting. You showed up with your friends but they were nowhere to be found now. He needed to take advantage of the opening.

It’s around this time that Younghoon and Juyeon are bringing out the fated beer pong table, a crowd already beginning to form nearby. He feels sorry for the poor suckers who have to play Changmin and his girlfriend.

“We should play beer pong!” You suggest, watching the pair of taller guys setting up the cups over his shoulder. Haknyeon can sense the color draining from his face. If it had been anyone else, he would’ve shut the idea down insanely fast, but because it was you, he was genuinely contemplating. Those who went up against the infamous TBZ party beer pong champions were in for a rude awakening, but if you wanted to...

“Uh—“ He starts but then he’s interrupted.

“Yo! Who’s down to play Rage Cage?!”

Juyeon’s voice is somehow louder than the music, carrying into the kitchen where the two of you stand. Haknyeon wasn’t the greatest Rage Cage player, but he enjoyed it a hell of a lot more than beer pong. Especially when he stood beside people who didn’t understand the concept of the game.

You chug some more Pink Whitney, batting your eyelashes up at Haknyeon. “I’ve never played Rage Cage. Is it fun?”

“If you’re next to the right people it can be, but if you aren’t, then it’s a whole lot of drinking. We haven’t played Rage Cage at a TBZ party in a while, but the last time we did Eric Sohn almost had to get his stomach pumped.” He laughs a little at the memory of his friend spending the rest of his night cuddling with a toilet seat. The mental picture overshadows how enticing you look right now.

“Do you think you can teach me?” You ask sweetly, hoping that he takes the hint. He seemed like the type of guy who wouldn’t make the first move unless you forced him to, so it appeared that you had your work cut out for you.

“You wanna play?” He turns to you with wide eyes, almost as if he hadn’t expected you to show interest in the game. You give him a small nod, tucking some hair behind your ear. The truth of the matter was that you were a fucking liar. You’ve played Rage Cage plenty of times in the past. You were actually pretty decent at it, too. You just needed an excuse to spend the night around him.

“We better head over there now. It looks like the table is filling up.” You jab your pinkie in that general direction. Haknyeon blows a raspberry and leads you that way, his hand resting on the small of your back so he won’t lose you in the pack of people surrounding the table.

“Forewarning, my rap sheet doesn’t really read World Class Rage Cage Champ,” he laughs nervously, the anxiety beginning to eat at him all over again. “But I promise, I won’t let you get stacked.”

When Haknyeon said he wasn’t the worst, but wasn’t good at Rage Cage, you took his word. Except he severely overplayed his own skill. Maybe he was just extremely on edge and it threw off his game, but the amount of times he was stacked on was a little comical. At the very least, he kept his promise. You hadn’t got stacked once, but that was also only because Haknyeon would drink for you every time you almost did.

The room is sort of spinning by the time the first game has finished. Playing a drinking game while he’s trying to get to know you better was probably at the higher portion of his ‘BAD IDEAS!!!’ list. If he wasn’t so eager to please and followed along to each of your suggestions, perhaps he’d be having a different conversation. That was not the case, though.

You can’t help but feel a little guilty for the turn out. All you’d wanted was to flirt with your lab partner, possibly end the night with some making out. As it was looking, that’s not the path you were heading down, but rather towards the kitchen for some water to sober him up some. Your bottle of Pink Whitney is long lost, replaced with a bottle of H2O. You hold his chin, tilting it back slightly to pour some into his mouth.

If he hadn’t already had the fattest crush on you, he definitely did now. Pretty and nice? You were the total package. Here you were, nursing him back to sobriety when you could’ve been out and about enjoying yourself with your friends. Up this close, he gets a detailed look at you. It’s so weird for him to think about how much he’s pined after you since the start of the semester, how much he’s admired the face that’s looking at him with this unfamiliar tenderness. He never thought he stood a chance. You know, that whole ‘nice guys finish last’ pick me boy vibe.

“Y/N—” He’s cut short, Juyeon’s voluminous voice resonating throughout the house again, sans the music.

“Everybody who isn’t Tau Beta Zeta, get the fuck out! Someone called the cops!”

Of course. Nobody ever calls the cops on a TBZ party but of fucking course the one time Haknyeon gets shoot his shot with you, someone narcs. He actually thinks he might die. He might keel over and die in the middle of this party while the cops are raiding the place. Lee Sangyeon is gonna be thrown in the back of a police cruiser for letting people drink underage and then send them his way because he bought all of the alcohol. This was just his luck.

Without a word, you grab his hand and drag him out through the back door. You follow the flock of other party goers escaping the wrath of the police. It’s difficult to run in a mini skirt and strappy heels, but you don’t really have room to whine about it. Haknyeon doesn’t know if there’s ever a right time to tell you that you could’ve just gone up to his room, but figures it’s too late when you're hopping the short fence that goes out to the main street of Greek Row.

One would think that he’d sobered up at this point since he was, you know, on the run from the law. Yet for some reason Ju Haknyeon himself doesn’t even know, he’s still feeling the effects of the alcohol, tripping over that stupid fucking fence and falling flat on his face. Thankfully, he lands on the grassy part just before the sidewalk, but it doesn’t make the situation any less embarrassing.

You don’t give him recovery time, pulling him to his feet. He holds a hand to the side of his face that received the harshest of the impact, expecting to wake up to a nasty bruise tomorrow. He’s also unsure where exactly you’re taking him, but is afraid of asking out of fear that you’ll send his ass back to the frat house and have him arrested or something. (He had a bad habit of over complicating situations and coming up with the worst possible scenarios.)

Once the commotion has died out and there’s no one else around, you slow your pace. You turn to face him with a grin, holding both of his hands in yours as you walk backwards. “Are you cool with staying the night at my place?”

Truly, Haknyeon needs to know what act of nobility he committed in his previous life. He needs to go back in time and thank himself for whatever it was. Even with fumble after fumble, he was somehow bouncing back and receiving major compensation for sticking it out. He swallows thickly, nodding dumbly when he realizes he hasn’t given you a proper response.

“Um… Yeah— I mean— yes. That’s fine. That’s totally fine.” He word-vomits, stumbling over his tongue rather than his feet. Being down bad was one of his strongest personality traits. And being clumsy was second strongest, so you don't even have to imagine how terrible a combination of both would be.

The walk to your apartment knocks any lingering inebriation out of his system. He’s entirely too hyper aware of what’s happening as you guide him in that direction. It’s cooler out, the temperature dropping in the nighttime as the end of the semester approaches. If there was another reason to be grateful for this party, it was because he no longer had to worry about not making a move before your last lab together. As much as he despised Biology, he’d take it every day if it meant getting to see you.

He actually feels like he may throw up as you reach your place, his hands sticking into the pockets of his jacket to hide the clamminess of his palms. His nerves are creeping up on him once more, a dark cloud looming over him. He shouldn’t be this jumpy at this point of the night. He should be composed, prepared to sweep you off your feet after spending so much time with you. Why the hell is he sweating bullets right now?

“Welcome to my humble abode,” you curtsy. “Would you like something to drink? Water, maybe?”

“Th-That would be great,” Haknyeon forces out, waddling behind you into the kitchen like a baby duckling following its mother. “You have a nice apartment.”

“Really? Thank you!” You can’t help but giggle at his jitters and the way he keeps rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. A sense of déjà vu rushes over you when you pass him a cup. “Living alone has its perks, I guess. I like that I don’t have to argue with anyone about how to decorate and things like that.”

“It sounds a lot more enjoyable than living with a bunch of men in their early twenties,” he smiles weakly as he accepts the glass of water from you. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to how thin the walls are in that house.”

“Do they have sex often?” You ask him bluntly, head cocking to the side almost innocently. He chokes on the water he just sipped, nearly spilling it onto the floor.

“W-What?” He sputters.

“I’m assuming that’s what you’re talking about,” you shrug, facing away from him so you can grab yourself something to drink, also. “We should get back at them.”

You don’t know how many more bones you can throw for him to understand what you're insinuating. Even the frat boy comment you made earlier was intentional. Haknyeon’s mouth goes dry and his eyes widen like a cartoon character’s. What the fuck?

“I’ve never brought a girl back to the house before, because I don’t want them to make fun of me or something— not that I’m saying I would take you back to the house! I mean I just would feel bad if you also got made fun of— not that I’m referring to having sex with you or anything!” The glass in his hands is on the verge of slipping from his grip. “Not that I don’t want to have sex with you— oh my god— um wow, that’s a very lovely fruit bowl you have there I—“

“Hak,” you interject his rambling, wearing a mischievous smile.

The nickname drives him fucking insane. Scratch him possibly dying. If he isn’t dead by the end of the night, he’ll be shocked. Perplexed. Perturbed. Puzzled. Any shock-adjacent synonym you can think of. That will be him. “Y-Yes?”

“Can you shut up and kiss me already?”

Honestly, you don’t have to ask him twice. His lips are on yours in seconds, fingers fisting the material of your skirt at your hips to steel himself. You moan in response to the sheer frenzy behind his actions. It’s so easy to lose yourself in the haste of it; the way you tug at his hair, the blunt edges of his nails digging into your sides, the near clashing of your teeth. He nibbles at your bottom lip, sighing when you allow his tongue to permeate your mouth. He’s content to do nothing but this, kissing you is enough to satiate the desire he’s harbored for you for months. However, with the franticness of your kiss, he knows you want more.

He inches you both backwards until your lower back hits the counter, and then he’s cupping beneath your thighs to hoist you up. His strength sends tidal waves pulsing throughout your whole being, hurriedly pushing the material of his denim jacket off of his shoulders and letting it fall to the floor without a care. Your hands travel south as his lips trail along your jaw and neck, sucking and biting your supple skin wherever he feels fit. He hisses into the dip where your collarbone meets your shoulder when you palm him through his pants.

“Fuck, babe, you want me bad, don’t you?” He mutters into the column of your throat, teeth sinking into the flesh after.

“Mhmm,” you whine, craning your neck to give him more access to the surface. It’s like a switch has flipped in him and it turns you on unbearably. This is what you’ve been trying to coax out of him all night.

Haknyeon pries apart your legs, slotting himself between them so he can sneak his fingers beneath your skirt. His thumb rubs tight circles into your clothed clit, the lace of your underwear damp with your arousal. He connects your lips again, groaning into your kiss when he moves the fabric aside and slides his knuckle through your folds. You buck up your hips, whimpering when he holds them down with his forearm.

“Want more,” you gasp when he applies a bit of pressure to your sensitive bundle of nerves.

“‘More’ what? Use your words, princess,” he instructs, tracing your entrance with his ring finger.

You shake your head because you’re not even sure what it is that you want. You just know that this isn’t enough to quell the hunger burning at your chest. It’s not nearly sufficient to fan the flames in the depths of your heart or the ache in the pit of your abdomen. You need him everywhere. It’s beyond him being your cute Bio lab partner now.

He urges you onto your elbows, pecking the plane of your stomach. He pushes up your skirt and discards your panties, baring you to the cool air of your apartment. Your eyes flutter shut when he kisses your clit gently. Your head is light and airy and it’s like you’re on cloud nine. Haknyeon hums against you, pulling off to scold you.

“Eyes open, baby,” he nudges his nose on your pelvic bone. “Want you to watch me eat you out.”

The moan you release is strained, like it had been confined in the back of your throat for ages until this moment. He flattens his tongue and licks a line from your hole to your clit, suckling the engorged skin and repeating. Your eyelids are heavy, keeping your intense gaze on him as he all but makes out with your pussy. He focuses his mouth on your clit and slips his middle finger into you. He pumps it in and out languidly, setting a rhythm that matches each swirl of his tongue around your clit.

The whole scene still feels unreal to both of you, like you might wake up from a wet dream or something. How was it possible that Ju Haknyeon was finger fucking you on your kitchen counter? Just a couple days ago, you were sitting side by side in your Biology lab, too nervous to initiate a substantial conversation. You’d think it would be harder to slob on someone’s knob than it would be to talk to them while wearing a fuckass lab coat and goggles.

Haknyeon works his forearm up, pinning down your thighs so your cunt is fully accessible. He adds a second finger to the mix, thrusting them at a higher speed and increasing the unrelenting sucking of your bundle of nerves. He can tell you’re creeping closer towards your climax with the way your walls clench around him and your hips continue to jerk up. And considering the kind of person he was, you figured he would aid you rather than hinder you. But you figured wrong.

He slows his assault, removing his mouth from your clit and leaving the stimulation at just his two fingers. You whine, lip quivering when he looks up into your eyes.

“W-Why are you— what are you doing?” You plead, hating the tone of your voice. The tables have turned, with you sitting beside desperation. This is so unlike you— so unlike the usual domineering aura you exude during sex— your body reacting differently to the power falling through the cracks within your grasp.

“Don’t you wanna savor the moment, princess?” He sounds so cocky, a far cry from the wavering confidence you’d always seen out of him. He kisses the skin of your inner thighs, moving closer and closer to the area you need him most, all the while he continues curling and uncurling his fingers.

The precipice of your orgasm is right there, you can almost taste it on the tip of your tongue. But Haknyeon holds it just out of reach, dangling it in your face like teasing a dog with a chew toy. Tears prick at the corner of your eyes, a false sense of hedonism building and building, then slowly ebbing away each time he retracts. You open your mouth, but no sound comes out.

Just when you’ve given up hope, he adds a third finger and wraps his lips around your clit, sucking harshly. The sudden and unexpected intrusion snaps that familiar cord in half, blinding you with white hot pleasure. The groan that escapes from the base of your chest is guttural, echoing throughout the kitchen. You don’t have it in you to worry about waking your neighbors, especially not when you feel the curve of a smile against your cunt, such an uncharacteristic response from Haknyeon.

Your legs spasm as the height of your orgasm calms. You pull him down for a wanton kiss, tangling your fingers in his hair. He laughs at the role swap, hands flat on the counter to hold him over you. “Feel good?”

“So good, Hak,” you murmur into his lips. “Think you can fuck me like that next?”

“So impatient,” he snickers, pecking along your jaw once more. “But since you’ve been so good for me, I think it’s only fair that I return the favor.”

You clumsily undo the button and zipper of his cargoes, pushing them down with your foot. He steps out of them and kicks them away while simultaneously removing his t-shirt. You take your top off and shimmy out of your skirt, raising an eyebrow at the narrowed look in his eyes. “What?”

“Do you have a condom?”

“No,” you poke your cheek with your tongue. “But, I don’t care if you wear one. I’d rather feel you raw, anyway.”

His forehead drops to your shoulder. “God, you’re killing me. Okay.”

He shoves down his briefs and you have to stop yourself from gawking at his size. While he wasn’t the biggest, he was definitely bigger than anyone else you’ve ever been with. He pumps himself a couple times, guiding his length to your entrance and throwing his head back when the tip presses into you. This was really happening, holy shit. Ju Haknyeon was actually having sex with you.

Your toes curl and you stab your nails into your palms to distract from the stinging stretch. He eases into you with the occasional grunt, minding your expressions for any signs of discomfort. When all he sees is your features contorted to display pleasure, he resumes. By the time he’s bottomed out completely, both of you are moaning messes. You feel so full, stuffed to the brim with the weight of his cock.

“I’ve wanted to be inside of you for so fucking long,” he admits, speaking the words into your sticky skin as he drags himself out only to piston back in. The action throttles you a bit, your eyes tempted to roll to the back of your head from how fucking good it feels. You can’t conjure coherent thoughts to properly convey how many endorphins are coursing through your veins.

Haknyeon sets a pace that combines the perfect amount of speed and depth, the tip of his cock brushing that spot deep in your cunt. Your brain is hazy and your vision blurs, hardly able to see anything in front of you. His mouth attaches to the pulse point on your neck, ensuring he bruises the area.

“Y-You’re— fuck— you’re s-so deep, Hak. I can feel you all over,” you wail, bringing one of his hands to tamp your lower stomach. The pressure contributes to the growing tension of your second orgasm, something you know will collide into you with even more exertion than the first.

“Yeah? You’re taking me s-so well, baby. No one else has ever fucked you this good, right?” Sweat beads on his hairline, dripping down his temples with every thrust of his hips and every drive of his cock into your sweet pussy. Even if he really did somehow manage to die tonight, he could do it with integrity. He could go out with the honor of a fallen soldier knowing that he got to experience this at least once in his life.

He hikes one of your knees up to your chest, burying his dick deeper if humanly possible. You arch your back, pushing into his chest to minimize the space between you, antsy at the promise of another release as mind blowing as the last. He brings you to the edge of the counter so you’re now hip to hip. Haknyeon snakes a hand in the middle of your bodies, using his thumb to rub circles into your clit. That stimulation coupled with the depth of his cock encourages the fluttering of your walls, in turn drawing out the state of bliss you’ve been chasing.

Your vision goes blank, stars painting the behinds of your eyelids. A second orgasm crests upon you and evokes a moan so pornographic, it sounds far away from you. It’s a dreamlike euphoria, an almost out of body experience that puts every other orgasm to shame. The surface of your skin is hot to the touch.

“Where do you want me, princess?” Haknyeon asks breathily. In the calamity of your own release, you nearly forgot about his until you register the twitching inside of you. It pauses the static in your ears, returning the volume of the world to its normality.

“Cum inside of me,” you whine, the overstimulation becoming too much to handle. He doesn’t need to be told another time, grip tightening on your thigh as he spills into your cunt.

The two of you stay still for a moment, allowing clarity to flow into your brains. You wince when he finally has half the mind to pull out, his nose scrunching up at the sensitivity. He slides his underwear back on, extremely conscious of how naked he is right now. He has an inkling that you were anticipating that this would happen, because why else would you ask him to stay over tonight? But, he is the Ju Haknyeon that you’ve sat next to this entire semester in your Biology lab. So he couldn’t just march forward without a little overthinking and self deprecation.

“Do you still want me to stay?” His voice has reverted back to that small, unsure tone. You sit up quickly, alarmed by the twinge of disappointment underneath it.

“Of course, I do,” you pout, kissing his cheek and lacing your fingers together. “I’ve had a crush on you since the beginning of the year, Hak. Sure, maybe I skipped a couple steps in between, but I have wanted this so badly— I have wanted you so badly— for you don’t even know how long.”

He chuckles, tucking some hair behind your ear. He leaves a sweet kiss on your lips, softer and gentler than the ones from earlier that night. He’s intentional with the way he glides them in harmony, like he was following the melody of the most beautiful song. “Oh trust me, I think I have an idea.”

© juyeonszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.

[blondeboyfriend]

𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐒 𝐃𝐍𝐈

[ PAIRING ] Wolfwood x f!reader [ AUTHOR'S NOTE ] Yes, this is a repost. Yes, I didn't write this my brain. [ SYNOPSIS ] idk you fuck your best friend's brother. I truly didn't think that hard about any of this. [ WORD COUNT ] like 1k [ CONTENT ] Porn without a stitch of plot, you're besties with your roommate, vaginal sex, "just the tip", he hits it from the back (ayyy), dubcon (drunk sex), alcohol, overstimulation, pet names (girlie, baby), barely edited, and nothing about this is serious like in the least.

You alwaaaaaaaaays thought your best friend’s older brother was cute in a fucked up kind of way. He was tall, legs toned and long, and broad shouldered. His clothes were always disheveled in some way: pants that were too short and revealed his ankles, shirts with several buttons undone that showed off his chest. His black hair was always in a state of perfect disarray. He wore dark sunglasses all the time and chain smoked.

But the biggest appeal was that he was a seminarian. A priest-in-training. You assumed those types were stuffy, good boys that went to bed sober every night.

Nicholas, however, was anything but that. You wouldn’t say he was an alcoholic, but he felt no guilt when it came to imbibing. Anytime he stopped by he brought a bottle of dark rum and made you play drinking games. When your friend would go to bed, you would jokingly confess to a multitude of sins of varying severity.

And you alwaaaaaaaaays wanted something more to happen, but getting caught by your friend deterred you. She already thought her brother was a bit of a loser and she would have judged you endlessly for having poor taste.

She loved him of course; she simply didn’t hold him in high regard. His existence was too contradictory, the juxtaposition too much to reconcile. He was a lout of the first degree, but also was relatively pious and devoted to his studies.

Your friend wanted more for you (not her weird, religious brother). And as long as she was around you could fight off your desires with zero issues.

That’s why you were set up for failure the night he stopped by without warning. Your friend wasn’t home and your fantasy started to feel more tangible. Everything was falling into place; this was the perfect opportunity to indulge in your crush.

You scurried around in search of something slutty yet comfortable to wear which ended up being a pair of booty shorts, a cropped sweatshirt, and absolutely nothing underneath. You knew if you stretched your arms over your head he’d get a tantalizing view of your breasts.

You opened the door and told him that his sister wasn’t home, batting your lashes. He smirked and asked if you were doing anything, his voice like honey, endlessly beguiling. You invited him in.

“You tryna have some fun?” he asked with an impish grin. He held up a bottle of Bacardi.

“Hell yeah. Let me grab some shot glasses.”

You strutted to the kitchen with a little spring in your step. You looked over your shoulder to make sure your guest was following. His eyes were firmly pointed at your ass, noticing how the cheeks poked out from the bottom of your shorts. The swing in your hips successfully hypnotized him, pulling him deeper into your clutches. You were going to make this night count.

He took a seat at the table and watched as you grabbed two glasses from the highest shelf. He smirked as your sweater rode up, revealing the plush underside of your tits. You pretended not to notice.

“Shall we?” you asked, handing him a shot glass.

The two of you took shot after shot, rarely speaking to one another. You didn’t need words. A smoldering glance, a flirty wink, said it all.

“You got a drinkin’ problem, girlie,” Nicholas finally said, pointing at the nearly empty bottle of rum.

“You drank just as much!” you laughed, elbowing him.

“I’m shouldering the weight of God’s words. What’s your excuse?”

“I’m trying to get the courage to fuck a priest-in-training obviously.”

He cocked an eyebrow and genuinely seemed surprised by your bold initiative.

“Nah. My sister’ll kill me… And you too probably.”

“She will never know,” you purred, grabbing a hold of his hands and leading him to your bedroom.

You undressed immediately, tossing your clothes at him. You got on the bed on your hands and knees, and arched your back. You gave him the perfect view of your glistening cunt. You heard Nicholas fiddling with his belt and dropping it on the floor. He positioned himself behind you, rubbing the tip of his cock along your dripping folds.

“I’m only puttin’ the tip in, alright?” he said, flicking his lighter. You immediately smelt the acrid smoke of his cigarette. “I don’t need you fallin’ in love with me.”

He guided his cock into your cunt, stopping halfway, and began to massage your clit with his free hand. The pads of his fingers were soft and warm. 

“I want all of it,” you whined pathetically.

You craned your neck back and pouted at him. His cheeks were pink, jaw clenched. He was a man in trouble, a man weighing his options. He took a drag off his cigarette and put it out in the cup of water sitting on your nightstand.

“Alright. You want my cock that bad, huh?” he asked, playing with your aching clit.

“Yes!”

He sank his cock inside you and he let out the most heavenly moan. It was thick, stretching out your cunt in a euphoric way. His thrusts were fast and deep, with an air of desperation to them. He kept his fingers firmly placed on your clit, furiously rubbing it. It was almost too heavy a burden to bear. You felt like you were going to collapse under the weight of your ardor.

“To—too much,” you choked out.

“Nah. Lemme show what too much really is, baby.”

He pinched your clit between his fingers and you yelped. It was already so sensitive, the pressure he was applying was dizzying. You struggled to hold yourself up and buried your face into your pillow. He was right. This was too much. But you loved it.

Nicholas chuckled and slammed his cock into you. His thrusts were relentless. Each one was punctuated with one of your dreamy moans. You were seeing stars, ascending into the arms of God, or something… you didn’t fucking know. Your brain was leaking out of your ears. And it didn’t matter; it served no purpose. All you needed was his cock throbbing in your slick cunt.

[justagalwhowrites]

Prompt 91 babyyyyy

OMG Hi Bestie

Thank you so much for sending in this suggestion! I LOVED this prompt and @1soff also shared it.

This is starring Joel and a new FMC who you'll likely be meeting soon (probably this fall?) who Joel calls Goldie. This is going to be a no-outbreak modern AU Joel romantic dramady fic. They were best friends in high school but had a falling out at the end of their senior year and went their separate ways until Goldie moves back to Austin when they're in their early 30s. This scene isn't going to be canon for their story BUT you'll at least get a taste for Joel and Goldie!

Thank you for being here! I hope you like Joel and Goldie! Love you so much!

Pick Me

You and your high school best friend, Joel Miller, reconnect after years apart.

Based on Prompt 91: “Don’t go on that date.” “Why?” “You know why.” “Say it.”

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader (nicknamed Goldie)

Warnings: None :) No use of Y/N.

Length: 1.8K

“You’re not going to make me like this damn town,” you said, taking a drink off the flask and passing it back to Joel. Your legs were dangling over the rock toward the river below, the stars bright overhead. “Doesn’t matter how many times we try to act like teenagers breaking into the state park, it’s not going to work.” 

“I’ll wear ya down,” he said, taking a drink himself. “If you’re stuck here, may as well try to enjoy it.” 

You sighed, looking out at the Austin skyline as Joel handed the flask back to you. You took another drink. 

This stupid fucking city held what seemed like everything bad that had ever happened to you. Your father, how your mother died, Anna’s descent into addiction that you knew was at least partially your fault. 

But it also had Joel. 

The one, incredibly determined bright spot that had been here even as you tried as hard as you could to run from it. Liking Austin was dangerous. Liking JOEL was dangerous.

“How’s the school treatin’ ya?” He asked after a minute. 

“Pretty good, actually,” you nodded. “Better than Ohio did when I started there.” 

“Fuckin’ Ohio,” Joel said, glancing at you with a sly smile on his lips. You snorted. He held out his hand. “You’re bogarting the booze, Goldie.” 

“What, you think it’s yours or something?” You teased, handing the flask back. 

“Unless your last name is suddenly Miller,” he teased back, tapping the engraved side of it. He took a swig. “But they got you teachin’… fuck, whatever the interesting shit is English professors get to teach?” 

You laughed a little. 

“Yeah,” you said. “I have 18th century British Literature which is a good one for me, anyway. Literature for writers is another one I’m liking so far. Plus some workshops. It’s mostly upperclassmen so they’re all kids who are there because they care about the subject, not just to fulfill some requirements to graduate.

“I think the school is sucking up to me a bit, though,” you said. “I picked a good time to have my life completely implode and need to job hunt. I had some good name recognition from my book. They want to try to keep me around so they’re letting me teach the cool shit instead of needing to work my way up.” 

He nodded slowly and handed you the flask back. You ran your thumb over the engraving, watching his name catch the light of the moon. You took another drink. 

“You’re still too smart to be hangin’ out with me,” he smiled a little. “Not arguin’, just pointin’ out some truths for you.” 

“You’re still too cool to be hanging out with me,” you smiled back. “Think we’re even.” 

“I was never that cool,” he replied. 

“Oh I know,” you laughed. “I was just a huge fucking loser.” 

He laughed at that. You handed him the flask. 

Joel was sitting close to you, so close that your leg sometimes brushed his when it swung out over the water below. His hand brushed yours as he leaned back on the rock, his fingertips slipping into the gaps between your own. You took your hand back and lay down on the stone, looking up at the sky overhead. 

The whiskey had set in, a pleasant buzz running over you as you watched the lights from distant planes flying overhead. You wondered idly where they were going, if the people aboard were excited for vacation or traveling for business or on their way to a funeral. You always wanted to know things like that. It was your curse, that’s what your mother had called it. That you had all these questions about how the people around you moved through the world, like you wanted to crawl inside their skin and live as them for a day, just to see what it was like to occupy the same space as another person, have their heartbeat, feel the creases in their flesh as it existed to them. 

“You ever wonder what would have happened if you’d stayed here after high school?” Joel asked. You looked over at him. He took another drink. “Gone to UT and shit instead of runnin’ off to Columbia?” 

“All the time,” you replied. “But I think about a lot of different versions of myself. In some alternate universe there’s a me who went to Iowa for undergrad and never met fucking Brad…” 

“Fuckin’ Brad,” Joel echoed. You looked up at him and caught a glimpse of his smile. 

“There’s another one who moved to London and never went to college,” you said. “She’s just waiting tables and writing shitty poems in an apartment she shares with three other people. But she’s pretty happy there, so good on her I guess.” 

Joel paused before looking down at you. 

“The version who stayed?” He asked. 

You sighed. 

“I’m really not sure,” you said. “I’m sure we would have stayed friends the whole time instead of falling out of touch…” 

“We weren’t talkin’ when you left,” he said. 

“I know,” you sighed. “But I think we’d have moved past that pretty quick if we were in the same damn city.” 

“Makes sense,” he agreed after a moment. 

“I’m not sure about her beyond that, though,” you said after a moment of quiet.

He was quiet but lay down next to you on the rock, looking up at the stars. His body was warm, even from a few inches away. 

“Missed you, you know,” he said, turning his head to look at you. 

“Missed you, too,” you said, smiling a little back at him before looking back at the stars again. “You know, more than I think about staying here, I wonder what would have happened if we’d never… you know. If we’d just stayed friends.” 

“Yeah?” He said. His eyes were still on you, you could feel him watching you. “What do you think would’ve happened?” 

“I wouldn’t have married fuckin’ Brad,” you laughed. “You’d have seen right through his shit and talked me out of that one real quick.” 

He snorted. 

“I only met the guy once but he was a fuckin’ dick,” he said. 

“See?” You smiled. “I needed someone to point that out to me, I couldn’t see him for what he was. I needed someone who could.” 

“I probably wouldn’t have Sarah,” you heard him frown then. “Shit, that’s weird to think about… I doubt I’d have gone to the bar and hooked up with her mom that night if we’d still been friends.” 

“That whole ripple effect thing,” you sighed. “Change one thing and the whole world shifts. But assuming you would still have Sarah - that girl is inevitable, you cannot deny her. She’d will herself into existence if you weren’t there to help her along - what would be different for you?” 

He laughed a little and then sighed. 

“Might have actually done the community college thing,” he shrugged. “You would have been on my ass about it until I fuckin’ enrolled…” 

“Damn right I would’ve,” you replied. 

“I’d probably have just flunked out though,” he said. “Then I’d have a bunch of loans and nothin’ to show for it.” 

“Damn,” you sighed but smiled slightly, turning your head to look at him. “Who knew I’d be such a bad influence on you.” 

“Nah,” he smiled. “My mom’s never wrong about that shit and she liked you. It’d be good.” 

“Oh, well, if I had Mrs. Miller’s blessing…” you teased. 

You just lay there, looking at each other for a bit, the rock cool below you, the river drowning out the sounds of the city that lay just out of reach on the horizon. There was a knot in your stomach when you looked at Joel for too long, something that seemed to want to dig into you, something that had lingered whenever he came to mind for years. 

“Oh hey,” you said, desperate to have something else to talk about. “How did your date go the other night? The one girl you were doubling with Tommy and Maria with?” 

“Oh,” Joel paused for a moment. “It was fine, I guess, but we didn’t really… I dunno, click or whatever the fuck you wanna call it. We’re not goin’ out again.” 

“She was that bad in bed, eh?” You teased. Even in the dark you caught his frown. 

“Wouldn’t know,” he said. “Didn’t fuck her.” 

“Really?” You frowned a bit, surprised. “Well, good for you.” 

“Feel like you’re implyin’ somethin’ about my dating history, Goldie,” he smiled a little. 

“Just that you’re good at charming the pants off your dates,” you smiled back. “Which I’d think most men would take as a compliment.” 

“Yeah, well,” he shrugged, going quiet again. 

He was so close to you, so close it felt dangerous.

“Still talkin’ to that one guy?” Joel asked. “What’s his name?” 

“Eric?” You asked. “The guy whose texts I showed you to see if you thought he was a whack job?” 

“That’s the one,” Joel laughed a little. 

“Yeah, actually,” you smiled a bit. “We’re going out this weekend, some concert he wants to see. Who cares as long as it gets me out of my damn apartment…” 

“Don’t go on that date,” Joel cut you off. 

“Why?” You breathed, your heart pounding against your ribs. The sad, homesick longing you’d had for him for what felt like your entire life was sharp and hot inside your stomach. 

“You know why.” 

“Say it.”

“I love you, Goldie,” he said, looking at you so intently that you could feel it in your blood. “I’ve loved you since were fuckin’ 16 years old and…” 

“Don’t do this to me, Joel,” your voice broke as you said it. “Don’t treat me like one of the girls you date where you say whatever it is you say to them to get them into bed…” 

“You think that’s what this is?” He rolled onto his side so he was looking down at you, his body just inches from your own. “That any of that shit wasn’t to make up for not havin’ you when you left?” 

“That’s not…” you began but he cut you off. 

“You’re it for me,” he said. “Knew it when we were 16 years old, knew it on prom night, knew it the day you left town. 

“Don’t go out with that fuckin’ guy. He seems… fine. He does, Goldie. He seems better than fuckin’ Brad but Jesus, you deserve so much better than fine. Let me try to be somethin’ close to what you deserve. Don’t go on that date.” 

“Joel,” you breathed. 

“Don’t go on that date.”

“I won’t,” you said softly. “I’ll…” 

And, for the first time in 14 years, your best friend kissed you, his hand slipping around to the back of your head, pulling your face closer to his own as his lips met yours all soft and sweet. It left you breathless when he pulled away. 

“Good,” he said. “That’s… good."

"Yeah," you said. "I think it is."

[cloudysonder]

On "Daddy Issues"

Ok, I know I'm a bit late to the game here, but I was gathering my thoughts after experiencing episode 5 and 6

Let me preface this with the fact that I am a Hazbin Hotel fan; it's cringe and it's not the best writing in the world, but I love the characters and the concept and the art. I know a lot of people disagree and completely despise it and hey, you do you, but this is a silly little thing I enjoy and think is fun

but oof. episode 5 and 6 were rough, execution-wise. Also worth mentioning that episode 5 followed on the heels of episode 4, which was dealing with a lot of heavy topics and gave Angel a lot of character development very quickly and had a wonderful song and a budding relationship between Husk and Angel that was fantastic, so to get a confusing and overwhelming yet completely inefficient episode (ep 5) and then an episode with SO MUCH HAPPENING that it absolutely bowled you over with plot points and world building that weren't given a single second to breathe was really disappointing. I'll put the meat under a read more, but that's the thesis

this post is just gonna be on episode 5, and I'll make another one on episode 6 bc christ almighty both of them are gonna be long

Episode 5 was something I was really looking forward to-- Of the main cast, Charlie and Vaggie seemed the least intriguing to me (oh, did I say "seemed" past tense? haha! they still most definitely are the least interesting!), and I wanted to see how they would introduce something they've been building up to for a while: Charlie's famed "Daddy issues"!

Turns out, instead of actually keeping it as a point of intrigue for Charlie's character and using it as a point of tension to show that hey, Charlie isn't actually a perfect person, and she's also in pain with the rest of the sinners because her own family relationships are falling apart, they solve it in a single episode. That's right! The long-awaited, complicated, divorced parent and child relationship that twisted Charlie into a validation seeking, people pleasing princess that "wants to fix other people so she doesn't have to deal with her own daddy issues" (quote by Husk) is solved with a charming performance by Jeremy Jordan and a song!

Look, it's no secret I'm a huge fan of Loser, Baby-- I clearly have no qualms with storytelling through song. But you cannot song-plain this one away. We've established over 4 episodes that Charlie and her father have kept in minimal contact for seven years. That's a Long time (don't go trying to be like, oh time to charlie works differently, bc that shit's not established, and everyone in the show still treats seven years like a long time). We know that the last time they called each other was 5 months ago.

"More than Anything," solves basically everything by making the following points

Charlie was inspired by her Dad's dreaming

Lucifer was ashamed of his failures and hid away from her

Lucifer does, however, want so so deeply to know Charlie

Charlie wants to know Lucifer

They love each other <3

these are fine endgame points. Dare I say... good endgame points to arrive at?? But you can't stuff ALL these revelations into a single song and call it a finished relationship arc when they haven't spoken for real in 7 YEARS. Also, making Lucifer so goofy and silly and fun and charming is Not helping the establishment of his character as a self-hating former dreamer who doesn't want his daughter to make the same mistakes he did. It just turns him to tumblr sexyman cute quirky sympathetic never did anything wrong and loves his daughter, completely downplaying his absentee parenting.

You can't have him turn from "I do not care about your life. I do not care about your project. I will not ask about your passions and your dreams. I am already ashamed of my own." to "ur so right bestie!!! dreaming is so slay mama!!! I love you so much you're my little baby girl I love you so much, you're right and I will support you!!!" in the course of a single episode without like.... at least 3 real, in depth conversations happening. The song is beautiful, but you can't poetry your way out of an actual relationship arc.

BUT! But, but but! The fault does not lie completely with Lucifer, but also with Charlie. girl just forgave him??? For everything????? Despite having been so scared to call him at the beginning of the episode? It's very unrealistic for a kid to just accept that a parent loves them apparently so so deeply when they've never seen proof of it in the last idk just spitballing a number here SEVEN YEARS. If you want to make the crux of a failed parent-child relationship miscommunication, you're gonna have to get into the ugly--- the grieving of what you could've had earlier, the wondering why you didn't reach out earlier, the anger at why they've suddenly changed now--- and you're gonna have to explain why the miscommunication went on so long.

sometimes, if you have a pair of completely uncommunicative people, seven years may be reasonable. But Charlie is open about her passions! She's public! She constantly reads about "The Story of Hell" and paints Lucifer in a positive light! And Lucifer is quick to reciprocate any interest Charlie shows in him! He's quick to offer help, to spoil Charlie and show love! (Lucifer's points are two points that make SEVEN YEARS of MINIMAL CONTACT and MISCOMMUNICATION make ZERO SENSE).

additionally, Charlie's lowkey only point of intrigue that was set up (her relationship to Lucifer, the King of Hell) is now just... kapoot. solved. pish posh. now she's a done character.

THEN EXPLAIN WHY I STILL DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HER???? I haven't seen her actually struggle in a way that's not played off as a bit, we don't get a real charlie breakdown monologue, there are no stakes for me as a hazbin hotel viewer to want everything to go well for charlie besides my acab rad leftist ass being like redemption and forgiveness is good and ultimately benefits society

she's fun, she's bubbly, she's kind! but those are all basic things we knew from minute 1 she was on screen. I need to see her struggle. For a main character, she sure as hell doesn't feel main. And I expected better female characters from female writers (feat. in my next post, Vaggie????? What the hell?).

goodnight new york city, you've been great!

[the-nightshade-crypt]

My personal favorite headcanon for Nerdy Prudes Must Die (spoilers, obviously) (I start off with a shit ton of just the actual story before the theory, I'm bisexual and autistic, I'm hyperfixated as fuck and these two are so cute, leave me alone /lh)

Max is obviously in love with Grace. Even if he frames it as just wanting to take her chastity, it's clear that he loves her. I mean, firstly, he defends her from bullying despite her being the nerdiest prude. Max himself says to Pete that nobody is a loser until he says they are, so if Max says Grace isn't one, then she wouldn't be. When she comes over to him in their first scene he asks so fucking sweetly to carry her books, like, batting his eyelashes and such a sweet voice. And when she declines he resorts to his mean bully self.

Grace very clearly does not love Max back. Despite her sexual fantasies, and even the lyric "I think im loving you more than I should" in Dirty Girl, she doesn't love him. Cause that's all they are, fantasies. In Dirty Girl she makes it very clear, with her saying multiple times "I don't/won't care about you". And its clear she doesnt want him to like her either, since her fantasy Max specifically asks her to "love me like you dont care." Showing that she really just wants him so she can give in to her temptations. She only sees him with lust, a symbol of her "sinful" desires. A symbol she wants to get rid of by any means to stay pure.

When Max decides to kill Steph first, he screams "you fucking Judas", which causes Grace to show up and shout "So you do know the Bible!" She then follows that up with "I used to have a crush on another guy who rose from the grave. But Jesus never threw a football like you max!" Despite her saying "crush" I fully believe she didn't mean it that way. She just needed to get him on board with her plan, and she knows how he feels about her.

She finally gets him to leave Steph and Pete alone and they have sex. When she comes back, she's smoking a cigarette and states "I needed that." Max comes out from behind the the wall and gets on his stomach, kicking his fucking feet like a tween girl writing self insert fanfiction, and says "Hey, uh, Grace? Where you going? Don't you wanna cuddle a little bit?" This line alone proves to me that he's in love with her. Compared to someone like Ted Spankoffski, who would never do something as romantic as cuddling after sex (at least not with anyone besides the girl he loves), it's obvious that Max has real feelings...

Only for Grace to say "Oh Max. I just gave you a gift. A very special gift. In fact, I just gave you what I cherish most. My chastity." Not only did she successfully fulfill what the Lord's in Black demanded, though we all know they didn't like that Pete or Steph didn't die, she also got what she wanted... to give into her sinful sexual urges.

With Max screaming that it was worth it, and him gone into the black and white, Grace becomes almost addicted to the power of the Black Book. The end of the musical is her taking over Max's role to kill the people she deems deserve it, in her case, perverts.

Now, my actual theory is that since Grace is directly connected with the Lord's In Black, she can freely go to the black and white, similar to how Miss Holloway seems to be able to. With Max in the Black and white... I like to think he's still actively pining for her. Whenever she visits to talk with the Lord's he's just kinda watching and trying to flirt with her and she's just completely over it. It gets to the point where even the Lord's are irritated. But slowly Grace starts to find his flirting charming. Realizing that since she is working for the Lord's in Black, effectively denouncing her Christianity, there's nothing stopping her from finding someone attractive, or wanting to be with someone. Their relationship at this point might stay as mostly sexual, but she is falling in love.

Maybe she makes a deal with the Lord's to bring him back to life, or maybe she's into fucking ghosts and just asks for that idk but the point is... I like thinking that with her doing the Lord's in Black's bidding, she can see max and actually get to know and fall in love with him.

I just really love the idea of Max being a lovesick himbo babygirl, only for Grace to reject him and be an asshole. But Max is a hopeless romantic who finds it hot that Grace is mean to him and he doesnt take it to heart. He's desperate for a positive relationship, seeing that he says his dad calls him a cuck and is very clearly emotionally/verbally abusive at best, and it kinda seems like Grace wants to be adored by someone, the same way Linda Monroe does.

They are in love your honor

[gabessquishytum]

(this is a little role reversal-y totally on accident)

wealthy and privileged fantasy world prince dream running away from his family’s manor because he’s kind of a dramatic loser (i.e. he has capital i Issues and doesnt like that they won’t enable him). living on his own teaches him just how good he had it, but not well enough, because he ends up being chased everywhere he goes by bounty hunters thatve been sicced on him by his parents. after a rather violent encounter he runs off into the woods and is only able to shake the men off by pure luck of running into a dragon that lives in the area, who normally totally would’ve eaten him as a light snack, but is too intrigued by dreams ego, which is way too massive for just a human. the dragon (hob) would totally expect this from another immortal creature, but this from a mortal is astounding.

he thinks it’s hilarious and wants to be friends. except dream sucks and has never had friends least of all when he’s a runaway, so he clings onto hob like a lifeline even if he won’t admit it. so he tries to bring hob game and maybe reorganize some of the things he has stowed away in his cave, just trying to pay him back, because he totally would think of relationships as transactional and you can’t convince me otherwise. hob is just glad to get along with someone so…weird. who isn’t afraid of a dragon. not for any bravery reasons though, he just genuinely thinks he’s special and won’t get eaten

obviously they fall in love and dream gets to discover the appeal of dragon cock. he’d contemplate how to get hob to fuck him without dying for weeks before hob reveals he can just turn himself into a man, and dream is initially disappointed by how vanilla it is before he realizes that hob is actually very sexy like this and pounces. maybe egg clutches, mating rituals and dream being forced to be a part of hob’s hoard ensue

I love the absolute audacity of Dream, here. Even with the role reversal he still thinks he could punch God in the face and get away with it because he's special. Iconic, tbh. Hob thinks he's absolutely hilarious.

He also thinks that Dream is definitely going to get himself killed if he keeps wandering around the country acting like a little princeling, so he makes the executive decision that Dream will stay with him, at least until he gets a little more humble (this is never going to happen so Dream is probably going to end up staying forever).

There are, of course, shenanigans. Hob puts his front foot (gently) on top of Dream because he won't stop running his mouth when some other dangerous creature comes to visit (Hob: just because I decided not to eat you doesn't mean that they won't! Dream: you were going to eat me?!?!). Dream is weirdly horny about the whole thing.

When they start a romantic relationship Dream gets totally obsessed with Hob’s dragon cock. He keeps trying to play with it, even though having it even a little bit inside him would definitely actually kill him. He loves Hob’s human form too, but the lure of the dragon cock continues. Eventually Hob cums all over Dream in his dragon form, and Dream just lies there in a literal pool of it and admits that maybe he doesn't need all of it inside him at once.

(Doesn't stop him from begging for Hob’s eggs, though, as soon as he learns that that is also a thing. The hubris never ends <3)

The image of Dream bringing pretty things for Hob’s hoard, and then ultimately flopping down on top of the pile because obviously he's the prettiest thing that Hob could ever need... yeah. He's definitely getting fucked on the hoard. Or perhaps, if he's really good, he'll be allowed to fuck Hob... while Hob is in his dragon form! I'll let you guys figure out how that one works 😉

[stevetonyweekly]

SteveTony Weekly - July 23rd

Happy Sunday, folks! I went on a bit of a sportsball kick this week so--enjoy those recs. It’s also @Cap-Ironman rec week this week--I’ll be sharing all of my daily recs later today so look for that, and be sure to follow the tag for everyone’s recs. 

Be sure to comment/kudos! 

~*~ 

Average Avengers Local Chapter 7 of New York City by hetrez

Steve and Tony accidentally start a national do-gooders association and fall in love.

No time for losers by gottalovev

Tony Stark: Playboy. Millionaire. Philanthropist. Hockey superstar.

(featuring among other things an unexpected trade, learning to get along with new teammates, pining, the Olympics, and a happy ever after)

Ice Ice Baby (The Hockey Fic) by youcancallmearrow

Tony Stark is a star center, sidelined by a slip in sobriety. Steve Rogers is a goalie, suspended for a punch thrown off the ice.

When the two meet, they're trying to get their lives back on track, both off and on the ice. It turns out, the saying is true: A burden shared is a burdened halved. At least until Howard Stark gets involved.

(A get together fic full of fluff, supportive friends, dad Rhodey, and hockey! But if you know nothing about hockey, you'll be fine, because neither does the author.)

Things We Learned at the End of the World by JenTheSweetie

1. Even the apocalypse can't keep people away from Olive Garden

2. Smoothies do not replace conversations

3. Tony has really obvious sex hair

4. Home might be a little different, but that doesn't mean you can't go back

Didn't Catch You Saying Grace by isozyme

Tony’s straight: he always picks women, not men, so he must be. Steve’s gay, but that doesn’t mean he has to like it.

how much i’ve been touching you by isozyme 

Steve loves Tony, but not enough to listen about the SRA. He loves Sharon, but not enough to stop coming to Tony late at night.

Destiny Deserves Another Chance by KandiSheek

Steve is absolutely starstruck by the pirate who saves his village from destruction. When the mayor offers an omega's hand as a reward for his heroic deed, Steve wants nothing more than to be whisked away towards a better life. Anywhere would be better than here.

He's devastated when the alpha chooses Sunset Bain instead. He never even looks at Steve, which makes sense, considering Steve looks nothing like a proper omega should, what with his height and muscles. It's probably better that he was spared the humiliation. And it's not like Steve has a chance to win the pirate's heart now that he's promised to another.

Or so he thinks.

A High and Lonesome Sound by misslucyjane 

Some nights, Steve still has trouble breathing.

A castaway where no one hears you on a barren isle in a lonely sea by Wolfsheart

A year and a half (give or take a month) after the divorce, Tony is still fighting the residual depression left behind from the way the divorce went down. Having been granted primary custody of their daughter, he's brought Morgan back to live full-time with him in Malibu, and he decided to surprise her with a trip to Disneyland. He lost his 'magic' back when Pepper left, so he doesn't know how magical Disneyland will feel to him, but it'll make Morgan happy, and that's what matters. However, will running into long-time unrequited crush Steve Rogers change all of that?

D-Day: 70 Years Later by Potterwatch97

70 years later, Steve is forced to face a gruesome part of his past. One that he never thought he's live to see.

Tony Stark and the Super Sleeper, or actually, Soldier by RurouniHime 

The one where Steve keeps falling asleep on Tony.

When Hell Freezes Over by KandiSheek

Tony ingests a drug that amps his insecurities up to eleven. It seems like he's extremely susceptible to Steve's opinion specifically, now that he's like this.

Steve has no idea what to make of it. He only knows that trying to take care of Tony without accidentally revealing his feelings for him is going to be virtually impossible.

He does it anyway.

Fever, gettin' higher by RurouniHime

Yeah, okay, Steve Rogers knows what sexual harassment is. Despite his out-of-fashion upbringing, he’s not some backwater Neanderthal, thank you, he gets why it’s bad. He’ll go to bat for anyone who determines they’re the victim of unwelcome advances in the workplace. He’s not devaluing its impact, for god’s sake. 

But the key word here, as he sees it, is ‘unwelcome.’ And that… might not be what this is.

this will destroy you by silkspectred

The screen flashes in front of his eyes. It takes him entire seconds to realize that it’s an incoming call.

Indecent Proposal by sabrecmc 

One million dollars for one night. That could change your life.

Lock Screen by betheflame

Everything was fine.

Steve had everything under control.

Until Tony grabbed his phone while they were in the car, and his world shattered.

“This… this photo,” Tony croaked out. “Am I your lock screen?”

“You were not supposed to see that,” Steve said quickly. He reached for the phone while keeping one hand on the wheel.

“Keep driving please,” Tony said with a tone of calmness that ended up sounding terrifying, “and answer my question.”

Second Hand Mate by Morethancupcake 

"The bandages had been his idea. The long sleeves too. Tony traces it with the tip of his fingers, before securing the tape, keeping the words away, safe, buried with the first man who ever showed him love and support.

'Second hand mate.' "

 The first words his mate will use to talk about him.

Tony waits for it to happen.

Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree by Annie D (scaramouche)

Steve doesn’t mind that Tony doesn’t return his feelings. He just would've preferred if it didn’t come with the side effect of his coughing up flowers and possibly dying.

kings of the city by Areiton 

The Irish mob held Brooklyn.

The Spider held Queens.

And where Tony fits in the city has never been clear...

Sometimes though, he thinks he fits here--at Steve's side.

[curio-queries]

Run BTS: 040 | Lunar New Year's Special : Only Good Things

Original Air Date: 13 FEB 2018 Episode Length: 25:40 Total Parts: 1 YouTube English Subtitles: Yes Title Song: Blood Sweat & Tears

Synopsis: Broken into 2 teams and playing new years games

Production: This is a nice standalone episode. I do feel a little confused at points but the calligraphy at the end is a lovely break in the formula these episodes have been falling into. It is a little weird to have in the middle of the previous 2 parter though.

Endearment: The guys are so great together. I actually had a hard time keeping track who was on each team. Also, the bit at the end where they left the table one by one and Jungkook/jimin were the last while Spring Day played in the background...Definitely an unexpected emotional moment with the current perspective of the ms...

Winner: RM, JH, JM, JK

Loser: JN, YG, V

Best Cheater: Almost Jimin for that one throw but even Jin admitted it would have been a half cheat lol. so I guess none.

Member Moments:

RM: RM was so indifferent at the throwing game until he got that first one in and then he's savage!

JN: Scolding JK for not starting the calligraphy when Yoongi was really calling him out. lol

YG: He pulled his sleeve AAAAALL the way up for that throw. lol.

JH: There's a beautiful poetry to Hobi blowing out the least candles. even in a game, he's the brightest.

JM: I just love how playful Jimin gets with the roleplaying bits with Tae. it's so heckin cute.

V: V, you absolutely brought the photo issue upon yourself. haha, you knew you'd be having to do the same thing but you you tempted fate a little too much!

JK: " He's trying to make us suffer by delaying it". JK is the actual MVP at the statue poses.

Bonus Content:  Another ep where I didn't write any bonus notes...sorry all!

CQ Rank: 3.5

(CQ Eval Date: 06 JAN 2024)

Check out this post for my Masterlist of all episodes and descriptions of how I'm evaluating these.

Previous Episode: 039

Next Episode: 041

[l0ves1ckf0ol]

LATE NIGHT. . . . XOWAN

note: this kinda sucked and honestly i just admire this crackship

tags:

rowan was never the type to stay up late, unless under necessary circumstances. it was exams week, nevermore was just like every other normie school he attended, sure it was full of blood suckers or psychics but it definitely didn't make a change of how he felt. he was known for being a total loser with 0 social skills, the person who can raise him above the bar a bit was the fact that he is xavier's roommate and that they were friends. rowan crept up quietly to the dorms, carefully not to drop any of his books or a strayed out pen from his sling bag.

he then gets inside theirs, dropping his bag and his books at the desk at his side of the room. xavier was awake, sketching away in his sketchpad. rowan would often wake up to that, just him and his stupid sketchpad. when he first was informed he was his roommate, rowan was a bit scared if he even wanted to actually talk to him because of that hobby. it ended in a situation where xavier had found himself talking with him at his first night in nevermore, to rowan who was fighting his own eyelids to stay up. at that night he seemed to have seen another side of the tortured artist. ever since that night there have been instances where both friends would share their troubles with each other, a heart to heart. rowan felt pity at first then it stupendously grew.

it grew to an unfathomable adoration of his dirty blonde hair and his tall lanky figure. his skillfull hands always wrapped around a paintbrush or a pencil of some sort. he hated the way he looked, such a way that made him want to feel the most unideal emotion ever: infatuation.

little does he know whenever he would quit eyeing him in botany class, xavier would sneak glances towards him.

rowan went into the bathroom with a set of his clothes and changed, he went back out, took off his glasses and set his inhaler on his bedside table to finally throw himself on the bed. thinking he could sleep for the rest of the night and get at least 7 hours of sleep.

"rowan?" he didn't dare move, pretending to be falling asleep. the sound of graphite gliding on paper stopped. he hears shuffling on the bed and then light footsteps, xavier sat on his bed. he gave up.

"mmm?"

"can we talk?" xavier asked him. rowan propped himself up with his elbows to meet with his sea green eyes. "about what?" he asked. "i know this'll be a weird ass question you know, since i'm asking it to a dude and not like -"

"just- just say it." rowan rolls his eyes as xavier spares him his rant and sent him a smile. "would it be weird if... if i had feelings for another guy?"

for a moment, for a moment he thought that he had a chance.

"no its completely normal." he blurts out. xavier raised an eyebrow at him, "do you like guys too?" he questions. rowan blinked twice and sighed, "for the most part yeah." he told him. xavier nodded understandingly. "how did you, y'know, like who like..." he was trying to find the right word, rowan steps in "triggered it?" he guessed in a soft whisper. xavier nodded, "someone that i thought who was anti social." he said, with that statement it could've been anyone. "anywayy-"

rowan grinned at him, "sooo who's the lucky guy?" xavier rolled his eyes "like i'm gonna tell you." he jabs his pointer finger on rowan's chest once and giggled. "what? scared that i'll get him first?" rowan joked. xavier laughs, "in all honesty though, how can you tell if like you actually like the guy or like is it just a handful of platonic feelings in one." he asked.

rowan hums, "let's see you talking about him."

"what?"

"come on now, talk about him, his eyes or whatever features you really love about him."

xavier pursed his lips for a moment and folds his arms, "this is just your way of making me describe who he is." rowan laughed, he laughs along. "oh well, i guess we'll never know how you really feel about him."

the taller boy's smile fades away slowly, his eyebrows knitting together in thought. "well he's a bit stupid and dorky." xavier muttered, sighing afterwards. "we've been friends for a long time, he and i are polar opposites. he may seem dorky but in all honesty he's clever and smarter than the people in this dump." he chuckles, rowan had a feeling it might be ajax or one of the nightshade members. he remained silent, listening intently for what he had to say. xavier took this as a sign to continue.

"well you know it would be unfair if i just sit here and talk about my crush when clearly, i think you need someone to talk to about yours." xavier pointed out. rowan widened his eyes, "you don't want me doing that-"

"but i do." he interrupts him. xavier's green eyes boring right through rowan's doe ones. a genuine moment where rowan wanted to kill himself for even liking this boy. xavier could ask him to do anything with those eyes, tension was thick to the point that his cheeks had a crimson glow. rowan was the first to look away. "fine."

"we'll take turns to make this interesting alright?" rowan nods in agreement. "so we alternately talk about what we like in each other's crushes then we get to have one guess at the end of it. we're not allowed to guess who it is in between telling each other." xavier instructs with a mischievous glint in his eye and a grin on his face. rowan sits up this time.

"you first."

rowan swallows a hard lump in his throat, if he ended up guessing it was him he'd have no problem in denying it. "he's popular." he decides to start slow, which makes xavier raise an eyebrow at him. "he seems to be the laughingstock of the school." rules are being followed so far, rowan didn't want to assume "he's caring and really really talented." xavier blinks, having a bit of a suspicion.

"he has the most adorable eyes."

"he likes to be alone despite being popular."

"he doesn't like to have fun."

"he loves art."

there was silence in the conversation, the more they each shared to each other bits of information of who they liked, both had had small clicks in their heads- a wake up call if you will. this makes rowan nervous because xavier does not mutter a word after what he had shared. rowan gulped, "a-are you done?"

"he's short." rowan chuckles at him, xavier frowns "what?" he asks "nothing."

"he has nice hands."

"he has well kept hair."

"he cares about his hair too much."

"i love his eyes, he wears glasses."

"you just said that- i like how nonchalant he is."

"yeah but they need to hear it more."

"do they?"

"mmmm yeah."

for the next 4 seconds utter silence enters the room, the both of them just staring at each other. xavier groans burying his face in his hands in frustration. "can't play the game anymoreee!" he mumbles, which came out a bit muffled. rowan laughs nervously "what do you mean?" xavier huffs taking rowan's hands, and grasping onto them tightly. "we tell each other who it is right now, on 5."

"what-?" he starts counting from 5 and rowan panics. was he gonna say it, he has to say it, he can't lie! whatever name was about to spit out of xavier's mouth in 5 seconds he'd just have to deal with it.

"you."

it wasn't a name. they both looked up at each other, completely in shock as they stared into each other's eyes once again. rowan couldn't take it anymore, he stands up from his bed and went on his way to leave the dorm "rowan- wait! stop." xavier stammers as he struggles to stand up from the bed and chase rowan right before he could open the door to go out. "you like me?" xavier asked him rowan had his back against the door his hand on the doorknob, ready to swing it open to just escape this situation. xavier's hand caressed his cheek, rowan was surprised he didn't trigger an asthma attack out of him. "yeah." rowan sighs out. next thing he knew, a moment he never knew would ever come, his lips on his as he caressed his cheek, he felt butterflies in his stomach and it was a desire fulfilled indeed.

[catboyrichardkarinsky]

alright since one person (@coffeelovinggayidiot) asked for it i will now talk about a group of ocs i will probably never do anything specific with but who i really love and never really talk about

So at the center of the story we have Mike and Sprout. Mike is a 15 year old trans guy who loves music more than anything, is going through a bit of a depressive episode mostly from school and being a bit of a social outcast and is generally not the most pleasant person to be around at the beginning at least. For contrast we have Sprout who's a little elf guy who got transported here from his little town in the middle of some magical forest mysteriously. He is very caring and simple and wholesome and basically the embodiment of a cozy children's book. That's really my best way of describing him. Naturally he drives Mike crazy but they do end up forming a deep bond eventually.

Most of the "story" (aka the part i focus on the least I'm a character centric person) really just focuses on trying to get Sprout home which is hard because he himself doesn't exactly remember how he got here (there was a storm on the day he was transported but he knows that couldn't have been it and his memories are really foggy) I also kind of want to add an additional mystery but I don't know how seriously I want to focus on this story because I prefer it just being a fun thing for myself. I might add it one day.

Anyways my real favorite part is the side characters. We have:

-Dominic (Dom for short), who's Mike's best friend/kind of crush. he's openly gay but Mike still doesn't think he has any chance with him because he's kind of a popular kid while Mike is a loser (evne though they constantly hang out). he's a bit of a himbo, and definitely a dork. He's really kind and makes friends easily. He plays basketball and takes it very seriously. He doesn't believe in cringe culture, he LOVES hallmark christmas movies for some reason. and bad 80s movies. actually 80s everything

-Irene, Mike's childhood friend. She wants to be cool and mysterious but is mostly just the most chaotic person ever. she smokes weed in her room and her mom doesn't realize somehow. she's an absolute troublemaker. her most important characteristic though is that she loves painting and created an oc named Luna who she just thinks of as the moon's human form. who's a beautiful girl. like really beautiful. like really really beautiful. like r- yup she fell in love with her oc. she totally owns it though, so much so her she her online alias is Pygmalia after the greek myth of the sculptor who fell in love with his own sculpture. Yeah she's one of the characters i really had fun creating. she's a lesbian if i didn't make that obvious by now. She does end up having a real human crush too also.

-Kitty, Mike's old classmate and other crush. They're autistic and their special interest is a fictional anime I made up for this story which is basically about a bunch of students who have fruit names for some reaos who go to space and it has about 6 seasons if i remember right and they end up saving the universe with the power of gay. lots of She-ra and Toh vibes. probably voltron too i never watched that one. Kitty's favorite character is Apricot who other than sharing a name with another character I made and also having a suspiciously similar design to said character, starts off as a villain but ends up falling in love with the main character. i ended up just infodumping about this anime. but i feel like that's on brand for an autistic character like if i was a fictional character I would want someone to just end up talking about falsettos instead of describing me. anyways they're generally kind if a scaredy cat and love cute things a lot and have a lot of plushies. but they do have a darker side. They also only watch anime dubbed because they have dyslexia so they can't read subtitles well although they started learning japanese because that's the power of hyperfixating. Oh and they have an oc for said anime.

-Ally, Kitty's and Dom's mutual friend and later Mike's friend through them. She's the mom friend, she has 3 younger siblings so that makes sense honestly. Her parents are divorced, she prefers being at her dad's place who owns an animal hospital near a forest with a lot of foxes. her favorite animals are foxes. along with cats. she has a cat for herself. she also loves ice skating. her ex best friend betrayed her for the popular girls which is a sour topic for her so she doesn't like people bringing it up too much.

-Seth, Irene's best friend and kind of crush. xe's a.. complicated person. xe can be intimidating at first glance with the amount of tattoos and piercings xe has. xe's a tattoo artist actually. not a drug dealer despite what people assume. xe ran away from home nrc of unsupportive parents but xe misses xir little sister and sometimes writes to her. xe has a secret dream of starting a rock band. xe's generally really introverted and doesn't like to talk a lot which adds to xir mysteriousness. oh and xe LOVES snakes a lot. because of xir gender fuckery xe says a lot that anyone of any gender can be attracted to xem but it does make them queer by default.

-and finally Jordan. Jordan is. he's a bully and a jerk and a homophobe. until he realizes he's bisexual. he has a bit of an obsession with comic books specifically one gay superhero book. which he refuses to admit publicly. and of course he starts to crush on Seth around this time. So definitely a complicated character.

that's it this post is way too long.

[milirii]

Okay, what can you do out of 32&4 with Niko/Olli? 🥰

Uuugh this took long. And I feel so bad to inform you all that the pace is probably not going to get much faster 😅​ Hopefully you like this! ❤️​

Niko/Olli, 32) Date night gone wrong 4) A cup of coffee would be nice.

Words: 2022, bit angst, bit fluff, meantion of panic attack, pre-relationship

Niko was romantic in heart and storyteller in mind. Two combined made him a daydreamer who built up his cloud castles and got lost in the hallways and towers. 

Niko was also realistic. Or so he liked to call himself. Joonas demanded that the correct term was pessimist. But how could anyone keep up the faithful spirit when one cloud tower after another got crumbling down. No, Niko had learned that daydreams were just that, daydreams. Stories that kept him going and gave him a place to go and recharge once in a while. Nothing to copy into real life.  

Once in a while he tried to rebuild some of the towers and this time Joonas had even helped him with building by promising to set him up with “a great guy! He is a friend of mine who is also looking for a relationship and I am sure you'd get along well! Please even try Niko! It doesn't even have to lead anywhere, just go and meet him. For me.” Niko had agreed, even though blind date had never been on his list of preferred first meetings, he would have loved to meet his special human in surprising and sponeus way. To accidentally grab the same book at a library with him or to literally bumb in to someone and then either help them up or let them help him up. Not like this blindly setted up date where the atmosphere was already filled with anticipations and pressure probably in both sides and the guy hasn't even showed up yet.

Niko sighed when he looked at the clock, his date was 15 minutes late already and Niko had gotten second thoughts. The waiting was horrible and made him regret agreeing in the first place. He should have known he would just get his heart broken a little more by the whole thing. 

Nervously Niko fixed his hair and contemplated if he should tie it up instead of letting it fall down his back. At least he should have curled it a bit. He tried to reflect himself through a phone screen and brushed his hand through the long strands, trying to see what part of his appearance had possibly driven away his date before he had even gotten properly in at the restaurant. Maybe the eyeliner had been too much? Maybe black button down was too plain a choice? Should he have styled it with some jewelleries? Why hadn’t he asked Joonas what to wear?

20 minutes had passed. 

****

It was already 45 minutes past the time Joonas had told him. He watched people coming in and dropped his gaze to his water glass when the last one sitting alone (alongside Niko) got their company and they started to softly speak to each other while examining the menus. The soft smiles and brief and gentle touches hurt Niko’s heart and he focused even more intently on just his water. 

Niko gulped the water down. He should make decisions soon. Either to leave and look like a loser who waited almost an hour for the date who didn't arrive or to order something and while still looking like a loser, at least he would eat well. 

He bit his lip and lifted his eyes to look at the clock on the other side of the room. 50 minutes had gone by and he was hungry. He would have to buy food for himself anyway so could as well eat here and spent the rest of the night miserable and feeling sorry for himself. At least his belly would be full and he could finally order something with promilles.

Maybe he had been lucky that the guy didn't show up. Maybe he would have been creepy and possessive and strange in a bad way.

Niko signed at the waiter and was only slightly disappointed when he didn't even get the hot curly headed one to his table to ease his suffering. Nothing was going as he would liked them to...

****

Poosu: Hey, can you see a pretty, long haired man sitting alone in the restaurant? 

Olli: Yep I saw him. Why? Is he a friend of yours? 

Olli had observed the guy the whole evening, while serving dishes to others. He was absolutely beautiful. Olli wanted to expand his observation to a physical examination and run his fingers through the melted milk chocolate coloured hair and look straight at sad eyes and see the exact color of them. He would have liked to roll the man's shirt sleeves more up to get a good look at the tattoos showing underneath and trace his fingers along the lines drawn with ink. He wanted to cup the man's soft cheeks and stroke the warm skin with his thumbs before testing if the man's lips were really made for kissing. They certainly looked like it. 

If he would have been brave enough, he would have sat down opposite of him and asked why he was sitting alone. 

Poosu: HA! I told Joel you’d know who I am referring to just by describing him as pretty! Yes he is a friend of mine! I set him up for a blind date, but the date just informed me that he is not coming… Can you tell me how miserable he looks already so I can decide the best way to tell him that? 

Olli snorted and blushed a little. Joonas knew his type well enough to know that the guy had attracted his attention the moment he had stepped in. And after reading the rest of the message, he was not sure how he should feel. He was happy, oh so happy that the dreamy man was apparently single and looking for a relationship. And he was happy that whoever Joonas had planned for him was “him” and also a little happy that he was not going to show up. And at the same time he felt so sorry for the guy. He looked so sad, just sitting there and eating alone, that Olli wanted to hug him. And somewhere deep he felt a little betrayed by Joonas that he had not thought about Olli when setting his friend up with someone. 

Olli: I am so close to going to him and apologising on behalf of the idiot who didn't show up. He looks crushed. :( 

Poosu: … :( Poor Niko. I wanted for him to have something good in his life for change, but this is only adding to his bad luck… 

Olli considered the situation. His shift had ended and he needed to only change and then he could go to talk with Niko. If he dared to. And since Niko already made his heart ache in so many different ways, the decision was not that hard to make. He wanted, no, actually he needed to see that pretty face lit up with a smile. Not clouded with that broken expression. 

Olli: What kind of person is he? 

Olli: Niko I mean. Not the jackass who made him sit alone in here for nothing. 

Joonas did quick work writing an answer. 

Poosu: He is sweet, fun, creative, nerdy and romantic. Pretty smart, pain in the ass sometimes and dreamer in main. Musical cat dad with a big heart who raps made up lyrics while playing classical piano pieces. Actually he is dumbass, but I love him still <3 

Olli's heart made a little jolt. Niko sounded like he wasn't even real. Just a whole man knitted out of his sweetest hopes and daydreams.

Poosu: Aaw I hate that I have to tell him the bad news :'( he doesn't deserve them! 

Olli thought everything out last time. 

Olli: Would I maybe have a chance with him? 

****

Olli spent so long staring at himself from the mirror, trying to make himself look less tired and more attractive, that when he finally left the changing room, he was worried that Niko had already left the restaurant. Part of him almost hoped that he would have. Then he could just tell Joonas that he couldn't talk with Niko because he was not there anymore and not because he couldn't get the words out of his mouth. 

Luckily (or maybe unluckily, Olli guessed he was about to find out), Niko was still there, nursing the remnants of his wine. Olli gulped and almost escaped back down the stairs he had just climbed up. His phone binged and it gave Olli an excuse to hold back a little while longer. 

Poosu: Just go for it! Niko is seriously so nice and not half as gloomy as he probably looks like. You come along with Joel, you can definitely handle Niko. 

The nerves squeezed Olli’s lungs and he was sure he was about to make a fool of himself by fainting in front of Niko because of too shallow breathing. 

Poosu: Lycka till!! <33

He forced himself to take a deep breath and then switched his brain off and made a figurative jump. He grabbed the strap of his backpack and walked towards Niko’s table. He swallowed, licked his dry lips and then managed to breathe out a simple: “Hi!” 

Niko lifted his face from his wine glass. His confused face, slight frown and questioning eyes were so cute that Olli wanted to just turn around and go back to the changing room to process in peace. And then Niko talked, although it was only the mirrored “Hi”, and Olli wanted to hear more of his voice. 

“I am a friend of Joonas’ and he told me you are not probably having the best night, so I thought I could maybe try to change that.” He started to blabber, like always when he got too nervous to handle it.

Niko’s eyes got a tad more sour look when he asked: “Are you the one I should have had a date with?” 

“No! Although I wouldn’t mind being your date…” Olli realised what his brain to mouth filter had just let through and felt how his cheeks flamed. He heard his heart pounding in his ears and it almost covered his own voice when he tried to save the situation. “...I… I mean that you are very pretty and… and Joonas had told me about you and you seem cool and maybe you’d like to get coffee with me sometimes…” 

Olli’s voice got quieter at the end. He felt seriously like suffocating now, he didn’t dare to look even in the direction of Niko and the blood was still rushing in his ears, making everything sound muffled. When he was sure he was about to pass out, he felt a light touch through the fabric of his hoodie. Warm hand guided him to sit down and grounded Olli from his panic enough for him to realise that Niko was trying to talk to him. “Hey, everything is okay, just sit down and breathe. It’s alright!” 

Niko’s eyes were warm and friendly when Olli finally looked at him. 

“Are you okay?” Niko asked, his hand not leaving Olli’s upper arm and Olli gave him a little nod. 

“So who of Joonas’ friends are you?” 

“My name is Olli.” 

“Oh! Joonas has talked about you!” Niko’s eyes got a little wide and Olli wondered later that night when he was already in bed if he had seen correctly that Niko’s cheeks had gotten a faint shade of red. 

Niko’s arm had dropped to rest on top of the table and the hand had left Olli’s arm. He missed the light pressure of the touch and decided to be brave enough to ask again. In case Niko had not either catched the question earlier or not taken it seriously. “So… would you be up for maybe a cup of coffee? With me?”

Niko’s smile was careful and it made butterflies in Olli’s stomach go wild. “A cup of coffee would be nice.” 

****

“How is it going in your little puppet show?” Joel asked and tried to peek at Joonas' phone screen. Joonas leaned his head at Joel's shoulder and grinned. “Oh Niko’s “spontaneous and romantic first meeting” is going just like I planned it.” Then he showed the latest message from Olli to Joel. 

Olli: I HAVE A DATE TOMORROW, HELP?!!

[asoulofatlantis]

Here we go again...

Sometimes you just need to take a break from the game to get things rolling again.

I would have prefered to do it Clouds was and just kick this man in the butt... but I feel like Aerith would not have agreed to that XD

Rushing through a game was never harder as in this one...

At least it was somewhat worth it... not that I plan on going back any time soon.

After this hassle, lets take a moment and enjoy the view...

There is a freaking bounty on us.

I am stuck in the fishing town for some reason... urg. Why must you make it so hard for me game? T.T

Oh look who I've found, now that talking to Barett finally moved to story forward... I think that in the original game, she was optional.

If anybody dares to hurt that Dolphin, I am going to kill that person. Very painfully.

Okay... the Monster hurt the Dolphin. Now I am going to kill the Monster. Cloud! Do your job!

I set the difficulty higher for training purposes but forgot to lower it after training was done ^^'

The difference a change in difficulty makes is simply amazing...

S-She is? Really? Why? We are a bunch of random losers ^^' I am serious. Speaking of our part of Avalanche, we haven't exactly done anything big - especially nothing GOOD. Even if you are a hater of Shinra, our little attack on Shirna was only to save Aerith to begin with and it was a huge mess, that would have killed Berette if it would not have been fore the Deus x machina Wispers ^^'

I can still not believe that this is the right answer... but almost all the walkthroughs say it is so... it must be true, right? Also... the question was if he can remember the first time they meet. "Nope" was obviously the wrong answer XD And "The Church" was also not right, because it was the second time they meet. So... yeah... I really had no other choice then tell her that she shoved a flower in his pretty face XD

I saw people complaining about this on YouTube, because in Remake, she didn't seem to mind at all that he gave the flower to another girl, even tho he was very much aware that in hindsight it wasn't a good idea when Aerith asked what he did with the flower. I think there are two reasons for this. First of all: It has been a few days since then and A LOT has happened in the meantime, so her feelings might have changed and developed a bit. At first she might have not minded it mush or enjoyed seeing him squirm at the question while she acted as if it was fine for her, but now... she realized that she has feelings for the guy and of course then it bothers her if he gave the flower that meant "lover reuinted" to Tifa, after she gave it to him. The second one, was an explanation I found on YouTube. It says that when she asked for the flower, she still had her memories from OG (that she likely got through the lifestream from OG-Aerith - if you think this is complicated, trust me, it will get worse later on) and knew she would die eventually, so understanding that falling for Cloud would only lead to pain for both of them, thus supporting Tifa, who had been there for Cloud after Aeriths death. Which is also why we got the "don't fall in love with me" situation in the Dream sequence - which contradicted itself with the touching of his face, BUT apparently that ALSO was OG-Aerith, so likely trying to keep Cloud from feeling too much pain when losing her, but also unable to stand the temptation of touching him again? (I am not even making this shit up by the way... they say it was confirmed in the Ultimania or something?) ANYWAY, Remake-Aerith lost those Memories when the Wispers took them from her and thus now, she doesn't know any reason why she shouldn't be pursuing a relationship with Cloud. Lost me here? Don't worry, I've already seen like 5 or so explanations of which Aeriths is which and where Zack came from and went to and what happened to Cloud when... you don't know that yet, so lets move on, but let me tell you half of the time, I have no idea whats happening here either XD

I actually love how he doesn't even try to save his ass anymore by making some excuses or says something stupid like he didn't care about the flower but just says "Noted." and accepts the lecture.

Das Smiley muss hellblau sein, um das volle Golden Date zu bekommen. We still have a long way to go guys...

Sorry Tifa... but I shouldn't talk with you. You know... keep your smiley dark, if you get me ^^' That aside... it was about time they talk about their argument. Its been some time since then. I mean... not really. Its a day or so. But still!

I am glad that you two are making up but... the thing is... you know... you were actually right... or at least not so far off with doubting him and you actually do know that.

I feel sorry for both of them. At first I wanted to just say "Poor boy" and say that he is trying so hard, even tho he does not actually care, but I also feel sorry for Tifa. She just wanted to have a nice little casual chat and he... didn't look like he is interested at all and now she knows he just listens because he doesn't want to hurt her - yes, that is good, because it means he cares, but its still not what she wanted.

[keefwho]

January 14 - 2023

10:25 AM

I gotta stop isolating when I’m lonely. I know I get into this mental trap of thinking no one cares but it’s because I’m literally ceasing contact with others. Although trying to make myself be social doesn’t always help either. But I think it’s still better if I at least try to get myself out there. 

11:51 AM

I have that feeling again that I should be focusing all my energy on being productive. But I’m trying to stick to a plan instead of staying stunlocked all day. I’m trying to spend 1 hour doing anything I want to do or feel like I should do. I should be able to put a little bit of time into everything that way. 

4:21 PM

Its the weekend, nothing is expected of me. I’m supposed to follow how I feel, not how I think. I dont want to be stressed for no reason. 

8:38 PM

Another sad drinking night because I’m a loser I guess. And I’m constipated which is pissing me off. I just wanted a good Saturday. I got the same old shit. Unneeded stress and loneliness. If it’s always going to be like this then I don’t want to keep existing. 

Why the fuck am I so pathetic sometime. Why can’t I figure out why I feel like this. It has to be rooted in something, this isn’t just how I am. There is a cause and a solution. 

9:03 PM

I really am just tying my lack of social experience directly to my personal value. Even though I have reasons for how I turned out, I can’t help but feel like something is wrong with me for having never dated, never kissed, never had sex, etc. Even though these are things I was fine without, I have the overwhelming feeling I should do them because everyone makes such a big fucking deal about it. I also feel like it’s too late even though I know it’s not. But like, who wants to fuck around with a 26 year old virgin loser. 

9:52 PM

I dont know what to do. Maybe watch Twitch and put a little work into projects so I can feel just a little bit worth something 

I also haven’t had a good nut in like a week. I’ve nutted but its been soooo lame. I need some good release 

Everything fucking bloows

I submit, I surrender all my hope. I’m going to let my body relax and not move until bedtime unless I somehow feel better. I give the fuck up. I don’t want to work on anything? fine. No one wants to hang out? fine. My life going nowhere? fine. Who cares 

10:42 PM

I feel like my meager life will fall apart if I can’t pull myself together. Everything I have going for me will crumble and everyone I love will leave me. I’ll be alone and better off dead. 

I can’t even chat with my bestie because I’m bawling my eyes out right now. 

11:27 PM

FUCK how I feel, it’s all about how I think. No matter what I can still choose what I do. I keep forgetting that. I feel some amount of power in that fact. Even if I’m depressed I can still identify the things I care about and put work into them. I’ll feel better eventually. 

1:30 AM

I’m up late because I’m being foolish.

I wish I was more confident that people would be upset if they knew I was sad. I know my friends care just like how I care when they aren’t doing well. But I don’t really KNOW that when I need it the most. Because I do this stupid thing where I pretend they should know how I’m feeling and if they don’t reach out then they must not care. But I know how stupid that is. It’s just one of the many ways I end up sabotaging myself for some reason. I shouldn’t care that much if other people care. Not to the point where it hurts me. 

[xcrystalzero]

love languages

Characters Included: Kaeya, Diluc, Xiao, Zhongli

Kaeya:

Giving: Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch

-Have you heard this man's voice-lines? The dude is the literal definition of a sweet-talker.

-Will constantly be telling you how good you look in that new outfit or how well-spoken you just were or how good you are at everything your do.

-Also kind of handsy??

-Not like in an obnoxious way (well at least not all the time). Loves to have a hand around your waist when you guys are just talking at the tavern or taking a walk around Mondstat.

-Will 100% grab your ass out of nowhere and then pretend like nothing happened.

Receiving: Physical Touch, Quality Time

- On the other hand, if you grab his ass, he may pass away on the spot.

-Absolutely loves it when you initiate physical contact, especially in public. Will tease you every single time about it but loves seeing this "bold" side of you.

"Oh? Someone's a little needy today." Kaeya cooed as he turned to glance over his shoulder at the way you were currently clinging to his back. You pouted up at him, making a show of slowly pulling away.

"You don't like it? I guess I'll just need to go find someone else to hug... You think Diluc is at the tavern?" You had taken a single step away when a pair of arms wound their way around your waist.

"Hey now..." There's a bit of a warning in his voice but it's nothing harsh. His breath hits your skin as he nuzzles into the crook of your neck, sending a shiver down your spine. "I never said that."

-Has a pretty packed schedule as a captain so he doesn't have much free time to spend just chilling. So when you take time out of your equally busy schedule specifically to spend with him, he gets all warm and tingly inside.

-Especially loves it when you do the planning since again, he's a busy man. If you show up at the Knight's headquarters and are just like "get in loser, we're going on a date" he'll probably fall in love all over again.

Diluc:

Giving: Gift Giving, Acts of Service

-Mans is the second-richest person in all of Tevat. If even bring up a slight interest in something, expect it to show up at your doorstep the next day, perfectly gift-wrapped.

-Will shrug it off when you confront him about it, wondering why you're making a big deal out of something so trivial.

"Diluc why is there an army of stuffed animals on my porch?" You aren't sure what your eyes are supposed to be. The fiery-haired man before you or the 50 fluffy creatures arranged in perfectly packaged boxes sitting on the ground in front of you.

"The other day, you said you thought they were cute" Diluc shrugs as he weaves his way through the maze of little creatures to stand by your side.

"THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU BUY THEM ALL!"

-Also likes to make things easier for you whenever he can.

-He's always offering to call you a carriage so you don't have to walk places, or make sure that all of the errands are done before you get a chance to get to them.

-He just wants to reduce any stress in your life and it's cute.

Receiving: Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation

-Touch-starved motherfucker.

-Somewhat shy when it comes to PDA and just general affection but over time, he gets used to it and starts to crave it.

-Will never ask you for affection directly but will definitely hint at it. He'll let his hand rest gently on your shoulder for just a little bit too long, or linger after he's already said goodnight, and that's how you know that he wants some love and affection.

-Really likes when you run your hands through his hair. There's just something so soothing about it, especially since he hasn't allowed someone to be that comfortable with him in a while. May just fall asleep in your arms if you keep doing it.

-In the same way, he likes to hear praises. He's not a man who needs to be told by others that he's doing the right thing or that he's doing a good job, but it does kind of feel nice when you're the one saying those things to him.

Xiao:

Giving: Acts of Service, Gift Giving

-He feels like he has nothing of his own to give so he tries to make himself useful in the only way he knows how.

-You mentioned that there's this commission you took that's harder than you expected and has had you busy for the past few days? Oh look at that, somehow the issue is solved. The Treasure Hoarders seem to be creeping too close to the trading ports for comfort. Not anymore they're not.

-Gets borderline creepy at some points where he seems to know every little thing you're struggling with and be able to solve all your problems immediately but are you really going to complain?

-Will constantly bring you food or little things that he saw that reminded him of you.

"Here, take this."

You glance puzzled at the hand the adeptus has outstretched to you. Gently, you reach out and take whatever it is he is offering you, bringing it up to your face to observe. A soft chuckle leaves your lips. In your hands is a tiny butterfly seemingly constructed of folded and interlocking leaf strips.

"Aww Xiao, did you make this for me?"

"I... I just happened to have it," he stutters out, looking anywhere except at you. That does nothing but coax another soft laugh out of you as you gently lean your head against his shoulder.

"Thank you, I'll take good care of it."

"... you better."

Receiving: Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch

- Normally, he thinks the sweet-talking of mortals is just another form of manipulation. That being said, when he hears any of those sugared phrases coming from you, his heart skips a beat.

-The first few times you complemented him, he literally had to stop and process for a second because wow. That felt great.

"Mortals are so incapable," Xiao mutters as he brushes slime condensate off of his sleeve. You sheath your sword before turning back to him, a grin on your face.

"Well anyone would be compared to you. You're really amazing you know!"

He froze. They were just words and nothing he hadn't heard before from workers at the inn or humans in the past, so why was his heart beating to fast?

"Xiao?" You questioned, catching up to him and waving a hand slowly in front of his face.

Coming back to his senses, Xiao huffed, turning his head to the side to hide the red creeping onto his cheeks. "Shut up..."

-Surprisingly enough, also really really likes when you touch him. Of course, always ask first or he might just straight up deck you on sheer instinct.

-But as he gets more and more comfortable around you, he grows to love the way you will absentmindedly grab his hand whenever you want to show him something or the way you like to brush his hair gently out of his eyes when the wind picks up.

-His ears turn red whenever you touch him, no matter how innocent the touch and he will get flustered if you ever decide to tease him about it.

Zhongli:

Giving: Gift Giving, Quality Time

- For a broke bitch, he sure loves to spoil you. Will always bring you to upscale restaurants to try the most expensive dishes or take you out to the stalls to look at exquisite jewelry.

"Which one should I get?"

"Why not both?"

"And who is going to pay for that?"

"That... I did not consider."

- Likes to be around you whenever he can. He's not the busiest person now that he's basically given up the job he had for so long (spoilers???) so he has more time to spend with you.

-If you don't mind, he likes to just be around you throughout the day as you do your own thing, just enjoying being in your company.

Receiving: Quality Time

-The dude has been alive for so long, he just wants to spend some of that time with someone else.

-His favorite thing is just to wander around Liyue Harbor with you, pointing out historical landmarks or just rambling around the history of the land. Loves it when you ask him questions about things or just generally express interest in the things he is talking about.

"That section of the harbor actually used to be a theater."

"Like for plays?"

"Yes actually. However, it was demolished as a sign of the end of the cultural revolution as the city turned to trade as its primary focus."

"Oh yeah you were telling me about that yesterday!" You remark excitedly, gaze drifting around as though you are attempting to imagine the world Zhongli describes. But he is only looking at you, a warm smile spreading slowly over his face.

There is no shortage of people in Liyue Harbor to listen to his stories but only your commit them to memory almost immediately, constantly asking him questions and wanting to learn more about his world. And just for that, he thinks he may fall even deeper in love with you.

note: let me know if you guys like this and i'll do a part two with some of the characters i missed!

[angelplummie]

RIGHT.

LEV X READER

cw:heavy angst, insecurity, unrequited love, depression behaviours (??), swearing

a/n:me ignoring my requests to do a vent fic 😃😃😃 sorry bout that guys LMAO i will get to it i swear.

You stare blankly at your phone screen. On it a text from Lev that reads:

Y/N ISHSJSJSSJHS I ASKED HER OUT SHE SAID YES WERE ACTUALLY DATING

It was like a stone was dropped in your stomach. You feel like your going to throw up, or scream, or die. You just can’t deal with this. Your knees hit the ground and you curl over them, wrapping your arms around your stomach as you convulse in sobs, jerking every now and then. You rock back and forth, crying and crying and crying.

He doesn’t like you. You knew it all along, but now it’s true. It isn’t an insecurity, it’s fact. Why would he anyway? You sob harder.

Another text.

y/n???

You draw in a shaky breath and reach for your phone. You can barely see the screen through your tears, puffy eyes and pounding headache. What do you say? Something generic will do.

OMG DUDE IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU OML

Yeah, that will do. At least you have time to think about how you would act around him. At least you won’t have to hear about another girl for a bit.

I’m such a fucking idiot

You mutter it over and over again through grizzling sobs.

I’m so fucking stupid.

What did you think would happen? Why did you hold on? What gave you even the slightest bit of hope? Head pressed against the carpet, you close your eyes. You love Lev, you truly love him. But no matter what you do, he sees you as a friend. A close one, maybe, but a friend none the less.

How could you bear this? The churning in your stomach is excruciating, you can hardly breathe, you can’t move, you’re exhausted. You just want to pass out, be unconscious for some few precious hours before realising once again that he will never be yours.

What’s wrong with you? Why couldn’t he like you? An additional familiar kind of misery settles in.

Right, it’s because you’re fucking horrible looking.

You laugh, entirely devoid of humour. There’s no point moving anymore, no point trying. You’ll still be alone and disgusting no matter what you do. It wouldn’t matter if you stayed in your room. He won’t even notice or even care, he has a girlfriend now.

Shit. He has a girlfriend.

Now they’ll probably go on dates together, probably places you went with him that will seem more exciting when he’s with her. They’ll probably parade around school holding hand, maybe a chaste kiss here and there, you know how nervous Lev can get. All those warm, lanky armed hugs you get will be given to her, but this time she’ll actually feel love in them, maybe even desperation to never let go. Then she’ll probably get to know them team, and fill the place you held in their hearts. Which is a shame, because you really do love the Nekoma volleyball team.

Whatever. You’ll just really do it. You won’t leave your room. School is for losers. Work is for losers. Friends are for losers. You settle in your little patch of carpet where you’ve decided to stay until you keel over.

At least until your phone pings again, and again, and then once more. You groan in frustration and use all your remaining energy to throw your phone across the room, only falling back into your sobs after.

Eventually, your sobs die out to occasional whimpers, and numbness consumes you as you fade away into sleep.