#antibias

[cakelitter]

Actually love how he has a soft jawline (in some certain angles at least) its so cute omg

(pic by antibia on pinterest)

[she-is-ovarit]

A Glance at Women's Oppression

Oppression may be measured by assessing socio-structural conditions. Males oppress female human beings on the axis of sex, and this pattern has been recognized across several disciplines of scientific research.

Violence Against Women

One in three women globally experience physical or sexual violence.

More than 1 in 4 women (26%) aged 15 years and older have suffered violence at the hands of their partners at least once since the age of 15.

The vast majority of substantial research on violence against women in the United States is now 20+ years old :)

As high as 64 - 84% of cases of sexual violence go unreported, so these estimates are low.

A male perpetrator was reported in 98% of cases of violence against both men and women.

58% of all women murdered in 2017 were killed by an intimate partner or a family member (source. United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime, 2018).

80% of women are victims or survivors of corrosive violence - aka "acid attacks". 60% of these attacks go unreported, most instigators of acid attacks are male, and there has been a 90% increase in these attacks in the last 10 years, with the UK being the country with the highest rate of acid attacks.

Worldwide 1 in 5 girls are married off usually to men twice their age or more.

Globally, as many as 38% of murders of women are committed by a male intimate partner.

200 million women have experienced female genital mutilation/cutting.

71% of all human trafficking involves women and girls – mainly for sexual exploitation (source. UNODC, 2016).

The killing of women accused of sorcery/witchcraft is reported as a significant phenomenon in countries in Africa, Asia and the Pacific Islands.

Many women are killed specifically in "honor killings" - to defend the honor of a man.

200 million girls experience female genital mutilation.

National studies indicate indicate that as many as 4 million women are battered each year, but only about 48 percent of these cases are reported to the police.

Violence against women meets the requirements of widely accepted definitions of hate crimes, but crimes motivated by hatred of women are not included in most antibias crime legislation.

Medical Misogyny

The disregard of pain and illness by medical professionals

This doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of this, but: women are seven times more likely to be misdiagnosed and discharged than men in the middle of having a heart attack. 70% of the people who experience chronic pain are female, but 80% of chronic pain studies have been conducted on males or male mice. Women also wait longer for a diagnosis and pain management than men.

Lack of research: the vast majority of scientific understanding and research on human beings conducted globally has been on males.

Period poverty and death due to misogynistic period shame (and I hope that this is obvious, but I am on Tumblr so I will emphasize that 100% of these deaths, illnesses, and disabilities are happening to female human beings.

Reproductive exploitation, discrimination, and control

Women across many countries have little to no access to abortions and other reproductive care, and are forced to carry their rapist's child.

Women are imprisoned for having abortions, and even people associated with helping them in any way to obtain an abortion experience legal consequences. Being impregnated through rape doesn't change this. In multiple states, rapists can sue their victims for parental custody. Women who are victims of stalkers and had children with them also are forced into allowing them visitation in the vast majority of cases.

Women also experience the brunt of forced sterilization and uniquely endure mortality rates from childbirth complications, in which often the infant's life is prioritized over the mother. Doctors may also refuse women and girls birth control, or subsequently deny women's requests to be sterilized.

Being forced to co-parent with their rapist.

Even if rape is proven, men can sue their victims for custody and may use children as a point of control over their victims and contact with their victims continuing psychological terror and causing trauma to children.

Over 3 million women experience pregnancies as a result of rape.

Men who donate sperm privately and through sperm banks experience no regulations and enforcement of how often they donate, resulting in some men producing thousands of offspring and others deceiving women on whose sperm they were impregnated with. Mothers of these children endure severe psychological trauma from this rape by deception in addition to themselves and their children navigating the psychological effects of avoiding potential incestuous relationships with the donor's other children.

Job Discrimination

In 38 countries, women can be fired for being pregnant.

From January 2017 through December 2019, 2.7 million workers age 20 and older were displaced from jobs they had held for at least 3 years; women accounted for 45 percent of those displaced.

While on leave, substantially fewer women than men

receive full pay (32 percent versus 55 percent), and more

receive no pay (41 percent versus 25 percent).

Women continue to experience occupational segregation in nontraditional jobs. In 2013, women composed 7.3 percent of all Craft Workers, while the participation rate for women in the Office and Clerical Worker category was considerably higher at 75.6 percent.

Despite the gains in employment made by women in the last 50 years, the annual median earnings of women working full time in 2013 was $39,157, compared with men at $50,033.

In 86 countries, women face some form of job restriction and 95 countries do not guarantee equal pay for equal work. 59 nations have no laws on the books addressing sexual harassment in the workplace, and 18 nations around the world allow husbands to legally prevent their wives from working.

Influence and resources:

Less than 15% of landholders worldwide are women, despite most women in the global south working in agriculture (source. Food and Agriculture Organization, 2015; World Bank, 2019).

Women make up just 25% of parliamentarians worldwide (source. Inter-Parliamentary Union, 2019).

Between 1990 and 2019 women made up 2% of mediators, 5% of witnesses and signatories, and 8% of negotiators in major peace processes worldwide (source. Council of Foreign Relations, 2019).

Only 1% of aid supporting gender equality went to women’s rights organisations in 2016-2017, despite governments around the world committing an extra $1bn to gender equality initiatives globally (sources. Guardian, 2019, OECD, 2019).

130 million girls are denied the right to an education.

According to the largest study on the portrayal, participation and representation of women in the news media spanning 20 years and 114 countries, only 24 per cent of the persons heard, read about or seen in newspaper, television and radio news are women.

A glass ceiling also exists for women news reporters in newspaper bylines and newscast reports, with 37 per cent of stories reported by women as of 2015, showing no change over the course of a decade.

An analysis of popular films across 11 countries found, for example, that 31 per cent of all speaking characters were women and that only 23 per cent featured a female protagonist—a number that closely mirrored the percentage of women filmmakers (21 per cent)

[idyllcy]

there's no difference, i adore ya

word count: 6.5k || Medieval AU || Photo by Antibia

warnings: major character death, childbirth, non-explicit smut

summary: beginning too late, ending too soon

"Do you live waiting for something to happen?"

The question from your friend causes you to blink, confusion written all over your face as you pause in picking the fruit at the market.

"What?"

"I don't know. I heard that witch ask the question the other day, so I always wondered if we were supposed to do something instead of waiting for something to happen to us." She frowns. "That apple's too soft."

You grimace at the way it dents under your fingers, placing it back down. "Madam, you got any other fruit?"

"Unfortunately, the batch lately has just been bad." She shakes her head.

"And the prunes?"

She shakes her head. "The castle took all the good harvest to welcome the soldiers back from war."

"You must be relieved, madam. Your son and husband should return." You smile. "I heard the knights this year were exceptionally capable and there were no men dead amongst ours."

"Yes." She laughs, chest rumbling as your friend remembers something.

"Oh, goodness! That cute neighbor of mine is returning!" Your friend gasps.

"The one you've taken a liking to that your parents refused to wed you to?"

"Ugh, it's not my fault his family is gone! Instead, I am stuck with my good for nothing husband at home." She grumbles. "If only I was still available as you."

"How awful." You find a single good apple amongst the soft ones, asking the madam if you could take it. She nods, letting you go without a coin in her hand, somewhat happier now that her husband and son should be returning. You place the apple in your basket, wandering back home with your friend, festivities being put up as the two of you are pushed to the side, eyes wide and blinking in mild surprise as the knights march down the town. You glance at the men in armor, raising a brow at your friend when she squeals her neighbor's name, the man turns to stare into your eyes instead, your breath stuck in your throat as the sun goldens his blue eyes.

"He's looking this way!" She squeals.

"That is your neighbor?" You force yourself to look away from him, balancing yourself as she pretends to faint into your arms. "Was your neighbor not the village boy we met so long ago?"

"Yes, he had been promoted to our family knight at the time before the war, so he was by rule, our neighbor. It seems the king will promote him to something better instead now that he has come back from war victorious with the princess." She gushes. "Oh, good heavens. If only my parents had waited as I instructed them to! Look at how attractive of a man he has become!"

You turn to look back at him, surprised to see him stopped and still staring at you.

"Oh, goodness. It seems he is fond of you." Your friend mumbles, squealing as she smacks your arm. "Darling, talk to him!"

"He has just returned from war. It is not something I can fathom him doing."

As you say, the knight gets back to moving from the yell of another knight, his blue eyes burn into your mind as you wonder just what had you looking so lovely for him to be staring at you as that. You are not attractive. Your friend had been wedded immediately upon growing to marriable age, and your parents had tried time and time again to set you up, only for it to be dropped. You were not suitable. A better candidate had appeared. A woman more suited for their son had been suggested. It was never you. You had never been picked in the end. You do not find that it should be a problem. After all, you are still young, but there is a fear that gnaws at the back of your head that you will be unmarried by 20 and then too old for everyone else. No man covets an old woman.

Yet, you were a late bloomer anyway, so it is unsurprising that you had not been allowed to be wedded by the church until you had started bleeding.

Then, by that time, most of the men were already off to war, leaving you very few men, most of whom had already gotten married. Most other girls were wedded to the noblemen who did not need to fight in the time. You had not been a first choice to many of them because of the way you carried yourself. You could not be sold as an obedient wife out of a fear that your family would be condemned to death by your would-be husband's.

You are not wealthy in a land that only adores the wealthy.

"How was the parade, child?"

"It was alright." You smile at your mother. "I saw the knights return."

"Well, now that they are back, surely you can be wedded off." Your father sighs, tapping the table as your mother places down dinner.

"I got an apple from the madam at the market." You hand it to your mother, who rushes off and chatters about a pie, leaving you with your father.

"Is there a man you would like?"

"No." You pause, blue eyes flashing in your mind as you answer, causing you to stop.

"You do not look of such."

"Shame." You mumble. "I met eyes with a young knight today, but considering he is the leader of the group, surely he will be wedded to the princess as an excuse to hand him a title and some land."

"And if you are the second wife?"

"We are not the east, father." You thank your mother as she hands you a bowl, and your father starts eating.

"Did he stop to stare?"

"Yes."

"Oh, then surely he'll request of you from the king." Your mother laughs, placing her own plate down as she eats. "It is the same as your father had done. You would be surprised to know how certain your father had been that I was to be wed to him."

You entertain your mother's words, sure that such will not happen. Any man with their right mind would not choose a woman over a title, yet you are sure there are men as your father. Lovesick fools, your mother calls them. Your father had been so enamored with your mother, and despite the words of everyone around you insisting that your mother was plain and average, you thought of her to be lovely. Your mother was lovely. It was a sight to behold — your mother had been loved from the moment your father laid eyes on her, and you knew it well. It was rare, you think. Perhaps that is also why your father complains only verbally, never actively looking for a man for you. They had wedded late. Later than your current age. They had worried not, so neither should you.

"Good news will befall you soon." Your mother insists.

"I hope my husband at least received a title."

Your friend comes knocking for you to shop for food with her a week from then, arm hooked under yours, lips curled upwards as it only means she has some groundbreaking news to let you know of.

"Pray tell, what is this news this time?"

"Oh, you know me so well." She grins. "That knight from our house? Promoted."

"Promoted? To what? Has he been wedded to the princess?"

"No, the princess was married off to a neighboring nation. You know, the king has a young son now, after all." She waves her hand. "The title of viscount was bestowed upon him by the king."

"And?"

"And?? That means he is of marriable age, unwed, and attractive! You should have your parents suggest of you to him!"

"He's a noble now. There is no chance that he will go searching for someone not of noble background." You hum. "Why wed in a pool of the poor when the rich are options."

"You know, he is a new noble after all. There is little chance that he will wed with someone of the nobles."

"Surely that face of his is good for something." You purchase pears this time around, humming as you hand the woman a dozen eggs for the basket of pears.

"Look!"

"At—" You tense up when you notice your friend is no longer behind you and it is a man, and you turn slowly, taking a step forwards as you do, blinking at the knight that has so kindly decided to appear out of nowhere. "Sir."

"Mistress." He places his hand on his chest, bowing gently as you muster a smile.

"Pray tell, knight, if there is something that I could be help of?"

"Your parents, mistress."

"I am not of noble descent. There is no need to refer to me of such name."

"I assure you, there will be soon." He nods. "Unless you have complaints?"

"There are none, I assure you. I shall bring you to my mother and father."

Your friend had run off long ago, and when you finally glance up to look at her, she is far down the road on her way home, waving at you dramatically as you sigh.

"You are tired?"

"No, knight. My friend is just full of life, you see." You nod at him to follow you, stepping down a set of stairs as you arrive at your home, your voice meeting an empty home as you have him follow you to the yard.

"I am back with the pears... and a knight."

Your father looks up, raising a brow at the knight as he laughs.

"Sir Leon, was it? Matthew of York was gabbing of the new squadron leader. It must have been you, considering those blue eyes of yours."

"Honored, sir." The knight, Leon, follows your father as you take over his work with the chickens, chasing one down and grabbing it by the wing, flipping it upside down as your mother claps.

"That one will do for dinner." She hums. "Let's feather the bird."

"Yes, ma."

You are to be wedded to Leon. It was hard to turn down a man who was higher standing than both of your parents, and despite your father being his superior previously, there was no argument or complaint raised from you, so it was fine to proceed with the arrangement. You have no complaints if you are marrying... noble, or whatnot. It is not of your concern. You are just grateful that you are no longer unwed. At least the wives with no better to do will stop sneering at you.

Though, they would start sneering of how you seduced the man with your figure. Truly, there is nothing you can do that would satisfy the mouthes of the bored.

"If there is any one who does not will for the couple to be wedded, speak now or forever hold your peace."

You blink at the way your to-be husband holds your hands, his calloused ones from the sword against your softer ones. Your hands are no better, still rough from the livestock, slightly bruised from the work that you had been raised to do. You had only stopped once your father realized that you'd be wedded better if your hands had been well kept. Rough hands on a woman meant that she was of lower standing in class. Your father didn't care, but it also mattered that you would marry well. To be wedded to a bad man was enough to age your father too many years. The end of his life was approaching, after all. It's surprising that your mother had even survived childbirth of you. Your father almost didn't— you're surprised they did not have more to tend to the livestock. Something about your mother suffering too much while having you to have another. You suppose if love is a concept, then it would be your mother and father.

"I pray he shall take care of you the same way your father does me." Your mother tells you, wedding clothes draped over you as you are wed at the chapel, exchange and officiation of the ceremony done by the priest, your bowed head and an exchange of rings that are surprising quality from a knight. The gold band slid to your finger and to his, the gold glistening against your skin as you stare up at Leon. Your husband, now. The man whom you barely knew would be the man you are to spend the rest of your life together with. However long that life of yours would be.

"And the consummation." The priest nods.

"We shall deal with such in our abode. Come on."

You follow Leon as he brings you, fingers entwined with yours as he leads you through the paths, lips curled upwards once you arrive at his residence, stopping to stare at all the maids and aides that you're sure Leon isn't any more familiar with than you. How does one manage wealth after living their whole life as a commoner? You are sure there is a servant for that, but you are also certain that you will need to watch everything to make sure the wealth is built and not squandered. Does your husband know of such? There is too much to think of.

"Overwhelmed?" He smiles at you, and you sigh.

"I will have to grow familiar with it." You follow him as he leads you to the bedroom, standing to the side as you blink at him and then the bed, preparing to strip.

"If you do not—"

"It is my duty." You continue, cutting him off. "I bed of you to be quick. I have heard it can be painful."

"If you are not prepared." He steps towards you, letting you sit down on the bed, kneeling as you drop the inner layer.

"And how are you to have child with me if you are on the ground?"

"I will not hurt you. I could not dream of it." He has you sit, undressing himself as well, spitting on his fingers.

"Do the men of the battlefield know of this?"

"They are the ones who taught me, despite my status as commander." He pries your legs open, staring up at you, waiting for a nod.

"And the brothels?"

"You learn much just by observing." He pauses. "It is a sin, is it not?"

"There are so many worse sins out there. As long as it does not hurt."

"I would not wish of it."

Marriage consummation is supposedly painful, but Leon puts the skills of the battlefield to good use, visits to the brothel with his soldiers long engrained in his soul, your body thoroughly spent as though you had been tending to the livestock, mark of your nails raked down your husband's back with a red previously unknown to you, your exhaustion much more apparent when the maids wake you the next day — your husband missing, and you are tended to and bathed, the maids whispering amongst themselves of the visible bruises left on your neck. Abuse or adoration, they wonder. Is their master as cruel as to bring back a woman just to abuse her? You know the answer, yet the embarrassment stops you from speaking up.

You meet your husband in his garden, the man with his sword out, swinging and training with the guards of his new residence, years of heavy armory apparent in his stature, body glistening under the sun, breathless blue eyes bright under the morning rays. You do not speak or move, waving the maids off as they scatter, and you take a seat on the side, blinking slowly as you take in the sight of your husband. Do you love him? Will you love him? What is love, truly? Does father have truly so much faith in you as to fall in love with a man you had only met once? Is it truly better to marry a man who adores you than to marry a man whom you adore?

"Wife." He brightens at the sight of you, forcing the knight's sword away with his own, rushing over to you as though he were some overgrown hound, lowering himself onto one knee as he checks your skin, asking you of your morning — are you alright? are you growing accustomed to the life in his residence? do you require of anything? how about a new gown? a visit to your companion's? how about a walk? He is an overgrown docga, you find. You wonder if it was normal to equate your husband to an animal, but as you find yourself running your hand through his dirty hair without much a second thought and ruffling his hair, you wonder if you had accidentally wounded your husband's pride.

Instead, you are met with a laugh, his cheeks red as he leans his head further into your touch.

"Should we fetch a hound, dear wife?"

"My apologies, Sir Leon." You cough, pulling your hands away from his hair. "It was—"

"Leon is fine, dear wife." He hums. "I am your husband now. There is no need to be formal."

"Do excuse me, for we barely know each other."

"I am most certain you are the one."

You are not sure how he is certain, but the way he beholds you with such fondness in his eyes leaves no argument for your futile thoughts.

You are certain that there would be nowhere else where a man could behold you in such light.

"Surely?"

"You are sent by the Lord himself." He rests his forehead on your hands, humming. "There is no larger grace than that of the moment I first met eyes with you."

You give him a laugh that can only mean you are only half-convinced. Yet, you do not make mention that you do not believe him. There is only so much that you can experience before you pass. Your husband will be sent to war in time again as his role of knight, and you will have children and possibly pass before you get to see him older with age. You wonder if you will bear him a son at the very least. An heir to carry on the name that has so mournfully ended with your birth because of your father's choice to protect your mother.

"Rest here. I shall return in a little time." Leon offers you a smile. "And I shall bring you around the garden when I do."

He offers you a kiss to the bone by your eye, calloused fingers against soft skin as he smiles.

You leave him with silence, eyes back to watching the way he continues with training his own guards. He prefers to do many things on his own, hands laboring out in the fields of the garden, pruning the trees and asking for your opinion on what flowers sounded pretty. He does not expect you to know which ones will be pretty since he does not either, but he includes you, letting you sit on the stone bench as he discusses with the hired gardener, listening intently as he's told which flower combinations work best.

"And you, wife?"

"Roses are fine, Leon."

Leon nods, continuing his conversation, and you wonder if this is a man hurt by war and worn down by years of fighting. It is a valiant thing — to be kind even after war. It is an effort to choose to be one way when it is much easier to be another. You fear that you are too plain to stand next to him. When the sun shines, does everyone not flock to bask in the glow of gold? You bask in it on your own, your husband far too attached to you to even consider basking someone else in the shine of his light. It is reserved for you and you alone, and you find that there are women who dream of such warmth.

"Shall we share a chamber, wife?"

"It is not customary not to, no?" You raise a brow. "There is no reason to, Leon."

"Is it so wrong to wish to be by my wife?"

"You spoil me rotten."

"If not me, then who?"

You move into Leon's room, your closet moving alongside you, maids whispering amongst themselves of how strange it is that the master would mention residing with the mistress if not to have a child. Yet, when it is night and Leon pulls you to the balcony with a duvet wrapped around you as he kneels by your feet and shows you the stars, you wonder if there is some way you can love him back. Will time make the heart grow fonder? Will you learn to love Leon the way he deserves to be adored by the time that you both have children? You do not want such a curse to befall your children.

"And that one is Vega."

"The merchant the other day told tales of her and Altair."

"So in love that they neglected their duties, was it?" You stare up. "How I wish that were me."

"Am I not loveable, wife?"

"No, you deserve far more affection than that I can offer to you." You hum, pulling him up to have a seat by you.

"We have all the time for such."

"Once an heir is born, then we will have less." You hum. "There is always a chance I will pass during childbirth, after all."

"That will not happen." He hums. "I assure you. I shall not bed you until you are comfortable with me as I am you."

"It will take a while, then. Neither of us are young anymore, husband."

"It is alright. If we pass without an heir, then I shall return everything to the princess in my will." He smiles. "There is no rush, beloved."

"I fear that while you do not, I will."

You fall into a mundane life with Leon, taking a stroll in the garden in the morning to check on the roses and their growing progress, eating with him in the hall, and then the two of you separate for you to continue your instrument lessons while he trains the knights. You meet again at night before bed, making use of your time by engaging in conversation, making mention of all that you had done in the day. Is there truly anything new? You do not know. Just what does your husband see in you to spoil you to extent?

"I shall be heading to town." You pull for your old clothes when you were a commoner, refusing the maids' aide to at least make you presentable, and you palm the dry dirt, shaking it into your hair. You look like how you did a long time ago. You nearly do not recognize yourself. You have grown used to the artistry of your day to day life and forgotten your roots.

You meet up with your friend, smiling as she is in her commoner clothes as well.

"So? How's marriage?"

"It is alright." You hum. "Not much has occurred."

"Truly?"

"Truly." You glance at the apples on display. "He refuses to bed me until I can love him."

"How could you not? He has such a charming visage."

"Perhaps something holds me back." You glance at the witch on the street. "Oh, yes, whatever happened to Adaline?"

"Oh, it seems she had been wedded off to the neighboring estate." She taps her chin. "The duchy of Wellesley, if I remember correctly."

You wonder how she is doing. No, you should not wonder over such. The two of you are long gone. It had been gone the second she decided she would be the one rather than you. The king has promised your husband a life of retirement now that Leon is wedded to you. Until you are with an heir, he is not allowed to leave the walls of the kingdom. Something about how Leon needed children or else one of the greatest knights in history would go down as a knight without lineage. You're sure your children would love to hear of their father's achievements in war.

"Do you want children?" You glance at Leon step by you, wine handed to you as you stare down at the garden.

"Why would I not?"

"You do not bed me, insisting that I must love you before have children. We have our lives for the love you crave for me to feel." You press the drink to your lips, staring out. "I will age, and soon, I will not be able to bear children for you."

"That is fine." Leon insists, leaning on the railing. "Children or not, you are more valuable."

"What value do you find in me? Truly, I am none more than your wife. I do not beg, whine, nor give affection to you. What do you see in me to cause you to believe that I am deserving of all of this love?"

"Is it so wrong to love someone?"

You finish the last of your wine, blinking slowly. "No, just not me."

Leon is infatuated with you. Do you know why? You could not care less. All you are to do is bear a child for your husband and move on with life. If you pass, then you pass. If you stay, then you raise the child with your husband — it is that simple. That is what you are to do. The thought of it makes you seem plain and unwanted, eyes blinking slowly as you stare at the witch across from you in the square, raising a brow when your friend yells out an all-too-familiar name.

"Adaline!"

That gets your attention.

"Adaline." You breathe the name as though it's second nature, fingers twitching by your side, heart hammering in your chest.

Yet, she disappears back into the crowd, and all chasing is futile, your legs stuck in place as the clouds of rain brew over your head, looming over both your heart and soul as you rush back to the estate, clothes soaked through and muddied with the dirt from rushing.

"Wife." Leon calls for the servants immediately, drying you up by the fire as he leans against the wall behind you, eyes stuck on your figure as you speak not. "Shall we rest?'

"You not need to be so considerate of me, husband." You stare at the fire, warm colors burning in your eyes as you wave the servant off. "I know you are curious."

"I am fine with you leaving the estate. I only wish that you would be slightly more honest with me when you do."

"I miss an old friend despite her betrayal. It is that simple." You turn around to stare at him. "It is complicated, my heart. Please take a seat."

"Will you tell me?"

"If I collect myself first."

The fire crackles in your eyes, ashes burning and shattering as you stare, words tumbling out of your heart, eyes weary with an age that should not be possible to you. You look both wounded and aged. Leon has only ever seen those eyes on the men who live til sixty, white visible in both their hair and eyes, old age consuming them until they are a shell of their previous self. You should not be capable of such emotion. Leon wonders if that is what stops you from loving him how you wish you could.

"It seemed you shared quite the bond."

"Dare I say it, I believe I had loved her." You sigh. "How heretical of me."

"The bond you establish with the one you lose can not be broken, beloved." Leon hums. "Do visit her, will you? I assure you, she misses you."

"How can you be so sure?"

"The heart knows what it does."

You return to the market, stuck staring at the new woman in red, lips and cheeks rouge with blood, blinking when you remember who she is now.

"Witch." You smile.

"Ah, dearest. What brings you to me? Your friend visited last, not you." She tilts her head. "Concerning your husband?"

"You asked my friend once."

"Do you live waiting for something to happen." She hums. "And?"

"She asked me, and surely, after that, I was wedded despite not doing anything." You hum. "Let me treat you at the pub, I insist."

"And what do you have to treat me for?"

You lower your voice, humming slowly. "Is there a reason to treat an old friend to a drink?"

"I am afraid—"

"Adaline." You call her by name, watching as she tenses under your grip. "I beg of you, speak to me."

"What is there to speak of?"

"How is life? Why have you decided to return? Is it true that your husband has fallen ill?"

"I do not care for that man. I took the scar for you. It is that simple."

"So the rumors were true." You reach out for her forearm, squeezing as she grimaces. "He had sold you."

"It was not something I could not handle."

"There was no need. Mother could have rejected on our behalf." You whisper. "He would not have won against father's blade."

"I had to. I could not let the others take the hit in our village. Everyone raised me, so it was only fair that I would pay them back with the same love."

Your expression falls, eyes hurt as she lowers her voice under the moon.

"I sent your husband your way." Adaline swallows. "He had visited the brothel, ending up in my hand, and for that moment in time, all I could imagine was how... sweet and loving he would have been if he met you. I told him of a girl with breathtaking eyes and brilliant features, telling him all that you had always adored. I had prayed earnestly that he would find you and you would be the one. I wished that you would not have to suffer the same fate as I."

"Why did you take the marriage in my stead?"

"I could survive being sold off, you could not." She whispers. "Your hands only know the warmth of your loved ones and the livestock in your home. My hands have become rough because of the blade. Beloved, it was for you. It was always for you."

"Then return to me. Return to me if I am your beloved."

"Your husband could not allow such a thing."

"You do not know that." You mumble. "I beg of you. I shall kneel if needed. Return to me, my moon."

Adaline shakes her head, offering you a gentle squeeze of your hand instead, taking two steps back before retreating into the shadows where you can no longer find her. You stay standing, eyes trailed on where she was last in the shadow until Leon finds you in the dust, hands sliding over your shoulders as you stand there and let out silent tears.

"Beloved."

Leon does not answer, so you try again.

"Husband, beloved."

"Yes?"

"Let us return home."

"Of course."

You heal after that, affection easier at your fingertips when you reach for Leon, lips curled upwards when you rub your eyes at waking.

"How are you, wife?"

"I am alright, beloved." You smile at him, lips pulled up at the edges, sun glowing against your husband as he covers your eyes. "my apologies you had to tangle yourself with my mess."

"That is quite alright." He whispers, mug handed to you as you blink up at him. "Do you feel better?"

"Yes." You whisper. "I promise."

"Good." He mumbles. "Shall we dine?"

"Yes."

The mess of strings doesn't untangle immediately. Leon notices that you are more gentle, fingers kind against his while the two of you walk in the garden, hand tucked around his arm as you let him tell you how the flowers have been. You tell him you can deal with the garden now that you have fully settled into the role of his wife, and he tells you he is alright with it. There is not much to do, and even when you watch jousting with Leon and enjoy dinner with the king every now and then, life is simple.

You're not too sure if you're content with living like that.

"Shall we try for child?"

Leon takes your offer this time. You insist that you must bear him a son, and you seem to be anxious of time. His hands are calloused against yours, bruises of purple on your skin, the sound of your cries echoing down the hall of the residence, quiet prayers that you would be with child spreading through the hall through rumors, and the day that the alcohol finally reacts, you exhale. Leon takes extra care of you during the time, listening to the priests as they pray for you to be with son, but Leon does not care. He asks for prayers for your safety instead. There is always a sense of forbearing because you shake your head when he requests for your health.

"Beloved, you love me."

"I do." You hum.

"Then why do you not let me love you back?"

You do not answer, staring out at the flowers instead.

"If it is a daughter, I do earnestly hope that I get to braid flowers into her hair." You mumble. "And if it is a son, then I have served my purpose."

"I do hope that she is a daughter. That way, you will still think you are use to me."

"And then?"

"And then, I would still lay bare with you, skin soft against mine."

Your remaining days are spent walking with your husband, pregnancy heavy on your body as your back is sore, eyes distant as Leon seems to ponder over what is on your mind. His hands are gentle with your feet, callouses rough against your fingers as you continue staring at the sunset.

"We should prepare for a grave."

"For whom?"

"I do not know. Where do you think it would be nice to be buried?"

"And why not the garden?"

"At the center of the maze?"

Leon gets the sense that you have made peace with the idea of death one day. You seem to be prepared to pass at all times, and you refuse to share whether or not it is pregnancy-related. Instead, you tell him of how you would like to prepare your grave, telling him of flowers that he should plant by them, and he tells you not to worry. You will survive, he tells you. He tells you that you will live, and in the case that a decision must be made, it must be you saved over the child.

You offer him a sad smile in response.

When the child arrives, you are tended to, Leon praying quietly outside of your room, managing the household's affairs from the outside of your door at all times, ignoring the desk that he has, settling for a chair outside of the room you are in. The sound of your agony rattles the walls of the estate, and Leon furrows his brows, pacing back and forth, growing restless when the cries of a child is heard, the nurses opening the door as you offer Leon a sad smile.

"You must use the wet nurse." You whisper.

"Of course I will." He mumbles, forehead pressed to yours as he rests his hand on the child's blanket. "It will be for you."

"No." You whisper. "It will be for the child."

Leon furrows his brows, blinking at you as you offer him a sad smile.

"It is fortunate that it is a son."

"No." He mumbles. "No, no. Beloved, do not say that."

"I have lost too much blood." You whisper. "It is a son. It is your son."

"I do not want him if it means the loss of you." He mumbles. "Beloved, no. no. No."

"It is unfortunate." Your voice grows weak, the nurses trying their best to clean you up. "I would have enjoyed being your wife for just a little longer."

Leon yells as the nurses dive in to try and help you, and Leon watches in horror in the corner of the room as you close your eyes, body relaxing, There is a slight smile on your face, and Leon watches in horror as you look so peaceful, the child crying for your warmth as death steals it from him, and Leon's warmth replacing your stolen one as he holds the child to him. The crying does not stop, but neither does the horror on Leon's face as the nun shakes her head, offering a look of pity to Leon as he gasps for air.

The boy cries in his arms, a child's cries ringing in his ears as the news of your death rings as well, and the wet nurse taking the child as Leon steadies himself with the chair, blinking slowly as he processes the news. The world has ended. The battle has left him with nothing, and he is back in the war. It is a flood of memories, flushing down his system as he stands there, numb with the thought of you having passes, his steps heavy as he walks to you, taking your hand in his, ring on your finger as he blinks slowly. The news must spread.

He must tell your parents that he has killed their beloved daughter for the sake of his son.

He must tell your friend that you have passed to bear him a son.

He must tell Adaline that you have passed.

He must live with the guilt that he has caused you to pass because he had not been a good husband — that the heavens must have struck you down because he had been unfaithful, that he had not loved you as he should have the way God ordained. Instead, he now bears the responsibility of a son, small hands delicate against his, your cold ones returned to the ground in the garden.

You had known. Unconsciously, you had known.

Leon had picked it up too. You had been preparing to let him down slowly — gently, dare he say it.

But you have passed, and he is left where you have left him, hands calloused compared to yours, fingers rougher than yours would have been. He is not fit to raise a child without you. Instead, the bundle of what should have been joy is just a bundle in his arms, and when he finds your features on his son, he is full of the same bitterness he is sure you felt when you had been left behind. You would not like that.

He tries to imagine what you would do.

Your hands would be gentle while tending to the baby.

You would watch as Leon teaches the child to wield the sword.

You would scold the boy for poor courtesy — you would reprimand him for being unkind to others.

You would watch as he falls in love and weds, bands on his fingers, hair like yours fluttering in the wind of the chapel as he gives his heart to her.

And, he's sure you would have been proud when Leon is buried next to you in your garden of love.

Perhaps, then, he shall find you once more.

[elliespuns]

"Some day..." - Ellie Williams [photos: antibia]

[beardedmrbean]

Black radio host and comedian Charlamagne Tha God blasted DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) programs and initiatives as "garbage" on The Daily Show, a political satire television program.

DEI practices in corporate America grew in popularity, with companies promoting the value of creating a welcoming atmosphere where people from diverse backgrounds can excel. Now, however, DEI programs have become a frequent target of right-wing activists in recent years, and Republican lawmakers are backing dozens of bills targeting DEI initiatives at universities and other public institutions.

Progressives tend to back DEI programs as a way to combat institutionalized racism that they say is ever-present in society. Conservatives, on the other hand, have fought against such initiatives as they worry that DEI aims to push a narrative against some classes of people (whether that be based on race, gender, socioeconomic status, etc.) and create an unfair advantage for others.

During an appearance on The Daily Show on Wednesday night, Charlamagne showed a few ads from companies like Microsoft, General Mills and Vaseline promoting their DEI initiatives, and then showed clips of media personalities bashing such programs, saying things like "DEI is just a rebranded version of hating white people."

"These right-wingers are crazy. Right? Jesus," Charlamagne said. "But here's the part where you all stop applauding everything I say. The truth about DEI is that although it's well-intentioned, it's mostly garbage, okay."

Charlamagne then joked: "It's kinda like the black Little Mermaid—Just because racists hate it, doesn't mean it's good. And you know, I'm right, because every one of you has sat through one of those diversity training sessions and thought this is some bulls***.

"And it's not just you. Over 900 studies have shown that DEI programs don't make the workplace better for minorities. In fact, it can actually make things worse because of the backlash effect."

Newsweek could not independently confirm which studies Charlamagne referred to.

However, a paper published by Frank Dobbin and Alexandra Kalev in Anthropology Now, a peer-reviewed journal, in 2018 wrote, "Hundreds of studies dating back to the 1930s suggest that antibias training does not reduce bias, alter behavior or change the workplace."

The radio host pointed out that even with DEI programs, Black people still lack leadership positions in corporate America.

"The biggest failure of DEI is that the number of black people in power at big companies is basically the same as it was five years ago. In fact, maybe the only thing that DEI has accomplished is giving racist white people cover to be openly racist," he said.

Charlamagne said that DEI programs don't work because it's "just corporate PR" for companies who "want to cover their ass."

"We don't need corporate DEI. Yes, we want diversity and equity and inclusion. But we don't want it from Vaseline," the comedian joked.

He continued: "Real DEI is only going to come from black leadership. I don't know how to do it because I'm not a black leader, but I do know how to tell if it's working—Just keep an eye on right-wing media, the more they're freaking out, the more progress we're making."

[angelkissiies]

guys i am acting totally normal about this (lie)

@antibia on tt !

[deathlessathanasia]

“Perhaps the personality most consistently characterised by zélotupia is Hera, for her peevish reaction to the philandering of her husband, Zeus, and here, at least, it would seem to correspond to jealousy in the modern sense (cf. Baumgart 1990: 94: ‘Hera, on the other hand, is jealous’). The word itself is not found in archaic poetry, but a scholium on Apollonius of Rhodes’ Argonautica (1.761) reports that, according to Pherecydes of Syros (c. sixth century Bc), ‘Zeus had sex with Elara of Orchomenus and then thrust her into the earth when she was pregnant, in fear of Hera’s zélotupia. When she died, the earth sent forth Tityos.’ We may doubt whether Pherecydes himself used the word zélotupia, but the description of Hera’s behaviour is familiar from early Greek literature, for example the Homeric Hymn to Apollo, where Hera prolongs Leto’s birth pangs out of zélosuné (3.100: the word occurs only here). The cause of this sentiment is that Leto will bear a mighty son; Hera resents (kholoomai, 3.305) Zeus’ splendid offspring, in particular Athena, whom Zeus bore from his own head, whereas Hera’s own child Hephaestus is lame (3.317). Since Zeus had no partner in the procreation of Athena (oios, 3.323), Hera’s irritation is not over sexual infidelity. Her revenge is to produce the monster Typho by parthenogenesis, so that she too may have a brilliant child (326-30).

The epic poet Rhianus (third century Bc), who is said to have recounted the full story concerning Hera’s jealousy of Alcmene (in his Heraclea, fr. 9 Powell Collectanea Alexandrina, p. 11; cited in Scholia A, B on Homer J/. 19.119), explains in turn that ‘Hera, who was constitutionally given to zélotupia [zélotupés diatetheisa], repressed the birth pangs of Alcmene, and made Antibia (whom some call Nicippe), the wife of Sthenelus, who was pregnant, give birth to Eurystheus at seven months’, so that Eurystheus would have priority over Hercules. Diodorus Siculus too recounts Hera’s jealousy over Alcmene (4.9.4), as well as her revenge against Semele, the mother of Dionysus (3.64.3), and the geographer Strabo cites Hera’s zélotupia in connection with her efforts to thwart Leto’s delivery of Apollo and Artemis (Geography 14.1.20). So too Rhea, traditionally the wife of Cronus but in one variant, which Diodorus Siculus (3.68) found in the mythographer Dionysius Scytobrachion (second century Bc), the wife of Ammon, king of Lydia, reacts with zélotupia when Ammon takes an erotic interest in Amalthea, who in this version gives birth secretly to Dionysus. This is clearly a take-off on the pattern usually associated with Hera, Rhea’s daughter.” Is Hera jealous? Her principal preoccupation is with the status of her children rather than with Zeus’ philandering as such. The definition of zélotupia recorded by John Stobaeus — ‘pain at another getting what one wanted’ — seems to fit the case of Hera as well as jealousy in the modern or romantic sense. . . .

Among mortals, the paradigm of zélotupia seems to be Medea. Again the report comes from Diodorus Siculus (4.54.7), who tells us that ‘so far had she progressed in anger, along with zélotupia and indeed savagery [émotés]|, that when he [Jason] had escaped the danger that accompanied his bride [i.e., Creon’s daughter, incinerated by Medea’s potions], she catapulted him into the ultimate disaster by the slaughter of their own children’. Sandwiched as it is between rage and barbaric cruelty, zélotupia might be better rendered as ‘resentment’ than ‘jealousy’. There is also an odd story told by Myrsilus (cited in a scholium to Apollonius of Rhodes 1.615) in the first book of his Lesbiaca, according to which the Lemnian women acquired the foul odour that drove away their husbands when Medea ‘cast a drug at Lemnos out of zélotupia’ as she was sailing by the island on the Argo’s return from Colchis. Medea’s motive was presumably Jason’s earlier affair with Hypsipyle, the queen of the Lemnians. I imagine that Medea’s zélotupia was by Myrsilus’ time (third century BC) a commonplace (the Stoic Chrysippus wrote a treatise about her), and this made it possible to invoke it in a deviant aetiology of the Lemnian women’s stench. Since the business between Jason and Hypsipyle was by now over and done with, however, ‘jealousy’ may not be the best equivalent for zélotupia; again, ‘pain at another getting what one wanted’, irrespective of whether one has acquired it oneself, may come closer.

It is noteworthy that the archetypes of zélotupia in conjugal contexts are mainly women, and in fact it was considered to be particularly vicious in wives. No Othello seems to have stalked the Greek stage. Theano, a  woman to whom several neo-Pythagorean epistles are attributed, counsels a fellow disciple to mend her ways (Hercher p. 604, Nr. 5): ‘Theano greets Nicostrate. I have heard of your insanity [paranoia] concerning your husband, because he has a courtesan and you feel zélotupia concerning him.’ Theano concludes with an allusion to Medea (200): ‘Hasn’t tragedy taught you to control zélotupia, my dear - the one with the plot in which Medea transgressed the law? Perictione (c. second century AD), in a pamphlet on ‘Women’s Concord’, advises that women yield to their husbands in everything, and pardon them if they stray: ‘For this kind of error is permitted to men, but never to women. . . Thus, one must heed custom and not feel zélotupia, but one must bear his anger, stinginess, faultfinding, zélotupia, calumny, and whatever else is in his nature; in this way a wise woman will dispose all things in a manner that is agreeable to him’ Plutarch, in his Life of Lycurgus (15.6), reports that when the lawgiver had properly regulated marriage, he further ‘expelled vain and effeminate zélotupia’ by making it honourable both to defend one’s marriage against insolent assault (hubris) and ‘to share in the creation of children with other worthy men’.” Zélotupia in men was regarded as a barbarian trait; thus, in the Life of Themistocles (26.4-5), Plutarch comments: ‘The Persian race is by nature savage and harsh in regard to zélotupia concerning women. For not only do they strenuously guard their wedded wives but also women whom they have purchased and keep as concubines.’”

We have seen that in the public or political sphere, zélotupia signified a selfish contentiousness, by which men sought to block the success of others either for their own ends or out of malicious spite. In domestic contexts, however, zélotupia, while equally a vice, was more frequently associated with women. The gender-weighted distribution of the term in different spheres is ideologically significant, but it does not necessarily mean that zélotupia had two distinct senses, one applicable to political rivalries and the other to amatory possessiveness, like the double definition of ‘jealousy’ as ‘fear of being supplanted in the affection. . . of a beloved person’ and envy ‘in respect of success or advantage’. If the emotion designated by zélotupia was more uniform than that, then its public use may tell us something about its significance in amorous or matrimonial contexts as well. More precisely, in ascribing zélotupia to women, and above all wedded women, including Hera who was exceptional in the Olympian pantheon for being married, Greek writers were not, I think, signalling anxiety over loss of affection, such as we associate with the term ‘jealousy’, but rather a kind of selfish spleen that begrudges the husband the pleasures that custom itself permits him — a licence not regarded as reciprocal, as Perictione makes clear. ‘Hera’s zélotupia is not the jealousy of a scorned spouse, but an unseemly ambition to control her husband’s behaviour even when she stands to gain nothing from it, and it brands her as a truculent spoilsport. This is why Hera is invariably an unsympathetic character in the mythological tradition, and her behaviour is treated as comical or perverse.’”

 - David Konstan , Before Jealousy, in Envy, Spite and Jealousy: The Rivalrous Emotions in Ancient Greece

[hazywazysmind]

Santa Barbara Ellie just does something to me… like omfg

photo creds: antibia on tiktok

[poshadvo]

Tips to create trans-inclusive workplace.

More than 27000 transgender people participated in a poll in 2015, and the results showed that at least 77% of them actively avoided workplace discrimination. This includes keeping their gender identities a secret, declining to request the use of their preferred pronouns by their employers and coworkers, and postponing gender transition.

Transgender individuals might not be fully present at work. Because they are more likely than cisgender employees to have an uneven working environment, they could feel uneasy or alienated. Companies should begin implementing nondiscriminatory rules and procedures that are gender-specific. This entails regardless of their gender identities, defending and advancing the rights of every employee Increasing employee awareness of and acceptance of their transgender coworkers. To some extent, everyone needs to feel like they belong. It's common for us to evaluate our relationships subconsciously. We experience poor levels of self-esteem and unfavorable sentiment when our social value declines. A social affirmation or appraisal, on the other hand, has the opposite effect. We feel included and valued when we receive praise, gratitude, and approval. Likewise, transgender employees are accepted and valued in the workplace because to inclusive policies including using proper names and pronouns, having access to toilets that are gender-neutral, and having gender-neutral dress rules. By creating advantages that are trans-specific and trans-friendly, businesses need to behave as supporters. For instance, helping with mental health services is a fantastic approach to support your transgender staff. This may also apply to company regulations governing personnel who identify as gender non-conforming. Transgender workers will experience more inclusion at work by doing away with gender-specific jargon and upholding antibias standards. It's also crucial to increase public awareness about gender identification. Many people lack the fortitude and expertise to question preconceptions and societal standards. Encourage your staff members to step outside their comfort zones and have unpleasant talks with management, especially the leaders. Cisgender employees who speak out against gender-based discrimination and ineffective rules at work provide a positive message of inclusiveness to their transgender coworkers.

[cupsofsilver]

It has become almost mandatory, for example, for Fortune 500 companies to publish a Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) statement that swears allegiance to the right values, regardless of how divorced those values are from what the company does. “We are on a journey from awareness to commitment to action” (PepsiCo, Inc.); “Diversity and inclusion are the foundation of our culture, and reflect our values of doing what’s right” (Lockheed Martin); “We have long been committed to promoting inclusion, diversity, and equity” (Goldman Sachs). These words may sound hollow, coming from a junk food producer, an arms manufacturer, and an investment bank, but what matters is that they be recited, like the Protestant liturgy, in public. The same hypocrisy reigns at high-end private schools, such as Dalton in Manhattan (with tuition fees up to $61,000), where there are now three full-time diversity officers, as well as a team of psychologists trained to cope with “race-based traumatic stress,” and yearly antibias training sessions for parents and students. Amherst College (tuition $66,000), meanwhile, offered to provide white staff and faculty members with a new Colleague Resource Group to guide them through “a series of self-reflection activities and action steps to begin and dive deeper into the work of anti-racism.” In this teaching, white privilege is like original sin. Rich or poor, one is born with it. A white person can only be considered an antiracist so long as he or she keeps confessing culpability, just like Protestants who believe they are born sinners. One might argue that antiracism is particularly important in fancy schools and businesses, where minorities have historically been underrepresented. If one is going to do something about privileged attitudes, why not start at the top? An element of guilt might also explain the zeal for such measures at the most prestigious institutions. A less charitable explanation is that it is easier to perform the rituals of antiracism—hiring diversity officers, mandating antiracist training sessions, making noble statements—than it is to pay higher taxes for improving public schools and services. Hiring a thousand diversity officers at Dalton is not going to do much for poor black children in Harlem or the Bronx. The danger of this approach is to frame “actual social and economic forces,” as Joan Didion once put it in another context, such that they are “personalized and ultimately obscured.”

Doing the Work by Ian Buruma (source)

[poshatworkindia]

Tips to create trans-inclusive workplace

More than 27000 transgender people participated in a poll in 2015, and the results showed that at least 77% of them actively avoided workplace discrimination. This includes keeping their gender identities a secret, declining to request the use of their preferred pronouns by their employers and coworkers, and postponing gender transition.

Transgender individuals might not be fully present at work. Because they are more likely than cisgender employees to have an uneven working environment, they could feel uneasy or alienated.

Companies should begin implementing nondiscriminatory rules and procedures that are gender-specific. This entails: regardless of their gender identities, defending and advancing the rights of every employee Increasing employee awareness of and acceptance of their transgender coworkers.

To some extent, everyone needs to feel like they belong. It's common for us to evaluate our relationships subconsciously. We experience poor levels of self-esteem and unfavorable sentiment when our social value declines. A social affirmation or appraisal, on the other hand, has the opposite effect. We feel included and valued when we receive praise, gratitude, and approval.

Likewise, transgender employees are accepted and valued in the workplace because of inclusive policies including using proper names and pronouns, having access to gender-neutral toilets, and having gender-neutral dress rules.

By creating advantages that are trans-specific and trans-friendly, businesses need to behave as supporters. For instance, helping with mental health services is a fantastic approach to supporting your transgender staff.

This may also apply to company regulations governing personnel who identify as gender non-conforming. Transgender workers will experience more inclusion at work by doing away with gender-specific jargon and upholding antibias standards.

It's also crucial to increase public awareness about gender identification. Many people lack the fortitude and expertise to question preconceptions and societal standards. Encourage your staff members to step outside their comfort zones and have unpleasant talks with management, especially the leaders. Cisgender employees who speak out against gender-based discrimination and ineffective rules at work provide a positive message of inclusiveness to their transgender coworkers.

[progressivejudaism]

Understanding Antisemitism:  how history affects contemporary antisemitic bias today

Sunday August 16th @ 2PM EST

Tuition $18

Combating Antisemitism:  a workshop designed to help us eradicate all hatred from our dark world

Sunday August 23rd @ 2PM EST

Tuition $18

Both classes will be taught through love and with the notion that we are all learning, we are all growing, and that we all can work to make our world a better place for the beautiful creatures and humans that live here.  We will create a safe / brave space together to uncover our own biases and to use them to help heal our very broken world.  This will be an intersectional conversation in regard to systemic injustice that affects the Jewish and non-Jewish spheres, and this content will help you not only to make the world a better place for Jews, but ultimately a better place for us all.  If you have any questions, please reach out to me at joshuagischner@gmail.com.

[cutebutstillsingle]

I’m going a little out of order on the photo numbers today, but that’s because I encountered this exact situation last night and now, Jay S. from Hinge, you’re being put on blast.  

Dear Hinge Online Dating app, 

You really should allow your users to maintain records of all conversations we have with any matches, so that when they say outrageous and hateful things, we can screenshot the conversations and send them to you in order to get racist and hateful individuals blocked from your app. Or so that just in case any of these psychos choose to act out their hateful ideas, we have a written record to hold these crazies accountable.  

Jay S. literally said the governor and mayor of our state should get lynched, and was fiercely anti-BLM.  As a woman with a good heart, I think I can speak on behalf of all the other women on hinge with genuinely good hearts-- we don’t want that crap polluting the dating pool.  

 TBH strong political opinions are probably something you should not even delve into within the first month of getting to know somebody you’re trying to impress. Keep it reasonably neutral in month one, as if these people are your work colleagues.   Stick to the current events every adult should know,  like “did you hear about this happening?”.  You can discuss other basics like “do you vote?”  or “did you watch the presidential debates?” to try and get a read on how clued in the person is to current events and adult goings-on.  But there are ways to discuss current events while remaining neutral in the strength of your opinion.  Like, let that person answer how they’re gonna answer and say something like “thanks for sharing”. Then tuck your own mental judgments away for yourself to decide the compatibility between you two. 

Every adult should be reasonably in the loop of basic political information because whether you choose sides or not, certain individuals in positions of power are making decisions that run the country we all Iive in.  Like it or not.  So to make yourself a slightly more conversation-fluent dating prospect, maybe you should read or watch enough news just to know the very basics of what other adults are talking about even if you don’t have any strong political leanings or opinions personally.  Other than knowing that Trump is an absolute nightmare, and being anti-prejudice, my foray into the world of politics is extremely limited.   

 Never be afraid to share critical values, as well, without getting too off the wall; and I strongly encourage you to remain calm and sane the entire time you share. Things like “I really loved President Obama”, “I believe in healthcare for all”, “I’m pro-choice”, “I have gay friends and relatives whom I love dearly”. Those kinds of things are never wrong to share and you are not putting harm into the atmosphere telling others those things.   Whether they agree or disagree is up to them.   The people you are dating DO need to get to know who you are; and you should not hide the important parts of yourself when these conversations arise.  It’s when things start getting aggressive and hateful that it creates a problem.  

Jay S. from Hinge literally said he was pro-lynchings, guys.   I would have screenshotted our conversation and posted it on this very blog had I realized the entire thing would disappear when Jay disappeared from my match quiver.  Jay S. was a blonde haired, blue-eyed mostly white man from the east coast, with maybe a thimble of POC blood in him, allegedly, according to him.  I obviously did not run a 23 And Me analysis on Jay S.  So he could have been lying for all I know.    

But I do have enough very peaceful guy friends to know that peaceful men never say hateful, violent things towards or about others.  Please understand that, ladies.  Peaceful men have opinions about life because a peaceful man is not necessarily a pushover.  But trust me when I say that peaceful guys rarely to never say hateful things directed towards others or wish violence upon others in any way, to any degree, in thought, speech, or action.    Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.   So if homie is saying hateful things, that’s who he is in his heart.  

 In the face of Jay’s absurd remarks, I very clearly established my values and limits immediately, as every quality woman should.  Ladies: any hateful remarks a guy ever makes should be checked on the spot.  If a male ever  openly admits that that he has these angry, judgmental, biased, and ugly feelings about anybody or about you, it is an undeniable sign that you’re dealing with a guy who is insecure, and may have anger mangement issues, or maybe even a hidden violent streak.  

I told Jay that I was anti-lynchings and anti-violence; and that as a woman of color the BLM movement and equal rights matters to me.  I said that if he was not someone who valued racial equality, I certainly didn’t want to waste his time.  

He had said that he was allegedly part POC, but mostly white; and I told him if it was the (insert his ethnicity here) Lives Matter movement, he probably wouldn’t say such a thing.  Other groups of color are marginalized just like Black people, it’s just that as of Spring 2020, Blacks were the face of a national outcry of awareness that we still have a long way to go towards equal rights in America.  

And then of course Jay S.  disappeared back into the ether of Hinge, to try and drag down somebody else’s vibe.  Ladies, left swipe racist, violent-undertones Jay S. from Hinge.  #Trash.  

Jay S. would not be the first individual I have met from an online dating site and spent some time dating before eventually realizing the guy clearly was insecure and very hateful opinions and wishes towards others.  Sometimes it takes a few encounters before prejudice and hateful comments start coming out.  And when they do,  walk away and do not look back.  

If you are a racist individual, you deserve to remain single.  Or if you believe that any marginalized people in American society, deciding to have a peaceful protest to improve human rights or protect their culture, is something that is stupid, dumb, sheep-like, etc.  then you better educate yourself, grow up, and change your attitude.  ... Or prepare to remain single.  

But if you remain hateful, unkind, racist, and single, and it eliminates any chances to procreate and clone yourself one day, hey, the world is not complaining. 

[brooklynnegoes]

Tue𝗡𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 did a feature on me, to talk a bit about what I do at work, my thoughts on aging (defiantly) and what makes me “𝘼 𝙂𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙣 𝘼𝙨𝙨 𝙇𝙖𝙙𝙮“. Check it out at the link in my stories, or the link in my bio. Thank you @tuenight for the feature #antiageism #agepositive #antibias #agepositive #ageless #tuenight https://www.instagram.com/p/CYc0vydFvEv/?utm_medium=tumblr

[elliespuns]

POV: you're playing 'clicker' with Ellie before cuddling the sweetness out of her

[photo: antibia]

[mizamour]

My amazing colleague Alessandra Prestipino lent me this book, and wow is it a great resource. While it primarily focuses on the problems with how we've written about, taught, and framed the narrative of Columbus's arrival in America, so many of its ideas and guidance can be applied to any teaching and books that talk about Native American/indigenous people. One of the most helpful articles for me was "Once Upon a Genocide: Columbus in Children's Literature" by Bill Bigelow. In it, he examines several childrens' books about Columbus and analyzes how they eulogize Columbus as brave and adventurous, present colonialism as inevitable and necessary, center Columbus' perspective while denying any agency and resistance of the native Taino, and either omits or euphemizes the atrocities he and his men committed in phrases like "Indians who did not hand over gold were punished." I'm going to weed many of these books from our collection (we have several of those mentioned) but I might keep a few to use with older students in later years to analyze, as another article suggests some great critical thinking questions to use when examining these books (swipe to see). Another article explores the well-intentioned but problematic issues in more recent books like Jane Yolen's Encounter, which I'd noticed before - it's a wonderful start in attempting to center the Taino but ends up blaming them for their own demise, denying their resistance and leaving the impression that they are at fault for succumbing. Another wonderful article, "Colombus and Native Issues in the Elementary Classroom" by Bob Peterson outlines strategies to help children challenge the Columbus myth, learn about stereotypes and their harm, and examine texts for bias - swipe for some fantastic critical thinking questions. Other articles educate on hard history like how Columbus initiated the transatlantic slave trade, or provide primary sources like an advertisement for "Indian Land for Sale." And I've only scratched the surface here, there's so much more. Such an amazing resource. #teachinghardhistory #teachinghistory #librariansofinstagram #rethinkingcolumbus #nativeamericans #antibias #criticalthinking https://www.instagram.com/divingintodiversebooks/p/CYR_uRjPYm9/?utm_medium=tumblr