#anxious abt having to go and everything involved

[audiovisualrecall]

So anxious abt Friday :(

[dragscore]

baby gurl

[sexysilverstrider]

i bring my kieran thoughts to you once more but this one involves arven. i think its *so funny* when people do a love triangle with kieran, arven, and juli because they always portray kieran as this super jealous guy and arven as a clueless sweet himbo. i dont believe that. look back at how hard arven asserts in area zero that HES your best friend and NO ONE ELSE and you have SUCH A GREAT BOND. (1/2)

personally i see both arven and kieran to be clingy and easily jealous but each have their own way of jealousy.

like arven asserts his friendship with aoi. yes. but he doesnt realize how deep his feelings are for aoi until like later/when the situation calls where aoi is talking abt romantic feelings to another person. yes hes clingy to her but clingy in a way like 'THIS IS MY BEST FRIEND. SHE IS MY BEST FRIEND. MY BESTEST FRIEND. MY BEST FRIEND. DID I REMIND YOU GUYS THAT SHE IS MY BEST FRIEND. SHES SO COOL. MY BEST FRIEND.' like man went through so much grief in his childhood that the trauma has shaped him without realizing it. aoi has always been there for and with him BUT he also sees her bond with penny and nemona and besides him calling himself aois bestest friend he thinks nothing of it.

until kieran comes into the picture

arven gets jealous. definitely. but his jealousy is. safer in a sense. he gets anxious and nervous and just the fear of losing someone dear again really can make a grown man panic. he'll realize his feelings and tries to win her before its too late.

now kieran. kieran is literally the blueprint for any yandere trope. he was obsessed with ogerpon. he then got obssessed with beating and wanting to be like aoi. we have literal dialogues about how he got aoi in the brain. aoi became the sole reason he made a 180. aoi changed him in the worst way possible.

of course flash forward to the post dlc. he definitely lets it all go (as he said) but i see it as he slooowly gets over the process. hes taking a leave of absence after all kieran baby come back so he needs to therapy time to think back and redeem himself. hes slowly reverting back to his timid sweet self but heres the shtick: only to aoi

hes gain a reputation to be ruthless and cold. while hes not that anymore people still either fear or respect or hate him. hes calm at best or indifferent at worst. but to aoi? thats when people gets to see his sweetest. and to people flirting with aoi? thats when people gets to see his worst.

he still has that obsessive tendencies. he still has possessive tendencies. kieran will definitely assert his dominance over aois attention. sometimes subtle. sometimes not. im not talking volo levels of obsession of course but hes still a cunning boy and the best part is he doesnt even realize it. he loves aoi A LOT and he will not make the same mistake that causes him to lose her or this new bond they share.

anon i hear you aois bond with arven is way stronger and meaningful but kieran doesnt know that. and even if he does he does not care. aoi was kierans first love and its love at first sight. shes everything he ever wants to be and now shes everything he ever wants

[offorestsongs]

just yap to me abt him idc plz go ahead

bro how are you so FAST 😭

anyways!!!! i'm gonna try forming an actual Thought (admittedly, not something i'm very good at)

i've been thinking about Lysander's character development specifically and all of this is absolutely something i'm going to come back to/expand more on but!! i think that at the beginning, even without remembering his life in his og world, he still felt kind of,, an obligation to try and go back home? he didn't want to, he liked his life there way better, but he thought that well, he had to come from somewhere, there's probably people waiting for him to get back and it's basically his responsibility to go back to, even if every flash of memory he got was just, absolutely miserable

and this is a lot of what Lysander's character arc is about. he learns that it's okay to be selfish sometimes, that he's allowed to want things for himself without necessarily having to always put other people's feelings above his own

the moment near the end of book 4, where Ace and Deuce come back for him, is very much the moment he decides to stay; it's such a tangible proof that people actually care for him, he can't just give that up!!! (they're basically his brothers!! he can't leave his brothers!!!)

and that's such a turning point for him because once he allows himself to have that, it's easier for him to admit that he wants other things, too. not to mention that he doesn't feel as anxious about building relationships with people anymore, since now he's sure that he won't have to just,, abandon them one day

(he and Rook had meet uhh, sometime around book 2?? and while Lysander has caught feelings pretty quickly, he was hesitant to actually admit to them, partially because what's the point of getting his hopes up if he's just going to leave one day. but after deciding to stay, he just kind of, allows the feelings to settle in and it's part of why he finally gets the courage to confess after book 5 <3)

and i kinda can't stop thinking about how with all the jokes about Yuu being the NRC therapist, Lysander kind of goes thru the... reverse of that, in a way lmao he starts trying to take responsibility for everyone and everything, for a lot of reasons, but also mostly because he was a kid forced to grow up too fast and be responsible for things a little kid absolutely shouldn't be. and also because while it may not seem like that much of an age difference, being 19 surrounded by all those 16 and 17yos, he often feels like he should be the one keeping an eye on everyone else, since he's older. but as the plot goes on, he learns that he can't help everyone and that in some cases, it's really not his place to get involved - some problems are way beyond what he can help with and that's okay, it is actually not his job to try and save the world!! he can be just a teenager who is nice to his friends but doesn't have to solve all of their inner problems because he was never responsible for them in the first place!!! i feel like that's also something that would come up ESPECIALLY during book 4 since he was close friends with Kalim beforehand and everything that happened there was just,,, SO beyond his capabilities for help lmao

he still keeps his intrinsic kindness, he just learns how to say "no" and be his own person <3

[jacedified]

SUMMIT PT 2 LIVE REACTION

wdym u can explain eventually

TELL HIM VINCE- i-

WILLIAM ORDERED U but like why tho

ok porter i love u MWAH

SOLAIRES STAND AS ONE NATION UNDER GOD INDIVISIBLE whatever whatever

ALEXIS GET UR SHIT TOGETHER

period alexis

i would love a game of clue rn

shes not wrong abt the wrinkles

LEX??? WTF AYE Lex VINCENT WTF DO U MEAN LEX

sweethearts safe and sound BLESS 😭

GIRL ATP I NEED U TO SPEAK IM TO ANXIOUS FOR SILENCE

milo bby its ok OUR POOKIE IS OK

asher smooch MWAH ily be safe

yea davey king dead happened while u were in negotiations

PUSH THEM AWAY???

DAYYYUMM ofc they didnt get to see who did the murder DAAAMMNIT

idky but evacuate the dance floor is playing in my head

(EVACUATE THE DANCE FLOOR DOO DOO DOO DOO IM ADDICTED TO THE SOUND) ((i forgot the lyrics))

aww another trusting moment between the men

PORTER CMERE BABES

yeah tell him asher

GET HIS ASS

PORTERR ill-

GET HIM ASHEERRRR

im crying i have tears in me eyeballs yall i cant

SPEAK SIR

ok thats true but like why did u send SH in there right before u knew he was gonna die????

DID I HEAR HEARSAY

true i cant handle a war rn and lovely shouldnt be spending their first year fighting on behalf of a clan they just became a part of

porter if ur not spinning then why do u look like a ballerina rn?? hmm?? EXPLAIN

YEA BUT THE NUDGE WAS DONE KNOWING SOMETHING WOULD HAPPEN A LITTLE HEADS UP WOULDVE BEEN FUCKING NICE

lets go crazy crazy crazy till we see the sun

the department is right there.. in sweetheart form

BLOOD FIRST??? oh yeah vampire clan rules blah blah i remember this being mentioned during quinns little moment

WHO TF IS SPEAKING?? alexis? GIRL THATS NOT U SPEAK LIKE NORMAL

OH THE MONARCH IS SPEAKING i was lost

baas? bahs? someone spell this for me i wanna kiss her SORRY yall

BOYS JUST KEEP UR WOLFY HANDS DOWN

. . . yeah shes not wrong solaire and friends should probably sit out

MILO ASKING THE REAL QUESTIONS

as if you care princely pop..

OH- TELL HIM ALEXIS clock him

oooooh???

alexa play ash by seventeen

well william aint here rn hes got other rich people duties

i hope SH is like stupidly staring at alexis the way i would be

so ur saying u left him alone before he died

HE DIDNT SAY? mf u were pestering abt funding just say he was annoyed w u

LEAVE WILLIAM ALONE HES BUSY (this is my sticking up for my 500 something yr old bby daddy)

well thats just hearsay princely poo

oh- AYE ADAM DESERVED IT CUNT!! (no he didnt i love him but yes he did)

YEAAAA TELL HIM

thank u porter poo

yea … christopher

they were fighting vincent for the most part so alibi CHECK

sorry monarch we didnt mean to kil- i mean let the king die without notice.. ill let u know next time

THEY FOUND SOMETHING YAALL

MORE TO THE STORY??? omg OH SHIT demon blood on a letter opener is crazy

so someone stabbed my other future husband with a letter opener

SHE CALLED ASHER PUP i love the monarch

OK MONARCH I WAS JUST COMPLIMENTING U GOD DAMN IT BE NICE

ok maybe david was a little silly asking that question but u cant expect him to know everything

so basically what im hearing is a demon was involved only ppl who closely align with empowered and demons would the house of bennett and their relationship with closeknit

CHRISTOPHER U LYING SACK OF SHIT WE CAUGHT U

ONE OF U OLD BAGS CALL ANOTHER SHAW PACK BOYS A DOG AND YOULL BE ON THE NEXT BEHEADING LIST

exactly someone got caught lacking after killing the king and didnt think to fuckin check themselves before letting the king be found

period porter.

i would retype all of this but shes just speaking fact so i dont need to take note of any of it

YOU GAVE HER THE POWER TO DO SO DUMBASS

ANOTHER DEATH??? damn both kings dead during the summit is wild

yeah milo my mind is kinda blown

NO MORE MONEY FOR CLOSEKNIT WOOT WOOT NO MORE MONEY CLOSEKNIT WOOT WOOT

vincent im too mentally unstable for an “are you alright lovely”

I REMEMBER IT BEING SPELLED BAAS so monarch baas is very right

NO HES JUST A BBYGIRL HE DONT KNOW NOTHIN

help “with any luck it wont be the last” shes so real for that

YES MAAM THIS WILL BE REPEATED TO KNOW ONE LOVE U HAVE A WONDERFUL REST OF UR SUMMIT *bow bow*

vincent listen i love u but like shes right we just have to keep it pushing

PORTER VINCENT TALK TIME lets gooo

IM EXCITED FOR PT 3

[harryissuchalittleshit]

Hey girl!! I'm new here to ur blog and I'm curious Abt ur ships and headcanons for Harry Potter characters? I love ur Harry and Weasley takes but I want to know all ur ships lmao I was looking to see if u had a pinned post but I don't so I figured I'd ask 💕

Hi! Welcome to my blog and thank you for asking about my ships, I have a lot of them and I'm going to try and link some of my stories from Ao3. I put everything under the read more as it turned out to be a lot longer than anticipated!

Bill/Fleur - I ship them in a sort of toxic downfall(?), they're just the kind of couple that I see rushing in too fast and then not dealing with any of their trauma.

Victoire/SJ - they fell in love while Victoire was visiting her grandparents in Paris, he's a few years older and super sweet and doting on Victoire. They have a great relationship.

Dominique/Lorcan - more of a friends to lovers story, but involve an unplanned teen pregnancy, a family tragedy, and also lots of cousin drama, they somehow make it work.

Louis/Anamika - I really adore them, both of them are so quiet and shy despite being on the younger side of their ridiculously big families. They find a peace and love in one another that I find so refreshing and honest.

Percy/Audrey - one of my top Weasley couples! I just simply adore the pair of them, Percy is so sweet to Audrey, her shoulder to lean on while the world pushes her down. And Audrey is the complete opposite of her quiet and studious man, but that's what makes him love her more.

Molly/Artie - they're not exactly a match made in heaven, but they are a second chance romance. They loved one another at 15/16 and they come back to each other again at 20/21. Sometimes mistakes happen in life and sometimes you wake up after a night of partying married to your ex-boyfriend.

Lucy/Devon - She's a nervous wreck at her best and he loves her despite her self-doubt. They care so deeply for one another and she gets more and more confident with him at her side.

George/Angelina - They're resilient, the couple that can manage anything as long as they're together. A sweet pair of soulmates that saw each other at eleven and never looked back.

Freddie/LeeAnne - Another pair of soulmates that met each other young and who love one another so deeply and completely despite the hardships it causes.

Roxanne/Sean/Sasha - Roxanne has been through everything, she has been through so much pain and Sean helped her get through it. Sasha helped her see the light after so much pain and their love is so true and sweet after everything that has happened.

Ron/Hermione - what can I not say about this couple? I adore Romione and think that they are such an amazing couple that have gone through so much together.

Rose/Scorpius - my first OTP in the next generation, I just love the thought of their family dinners. They're definitely a couple that go through lots of ups and downs, but that never lessens their love for one another.

Hugo/Lyla - I love them so much, Hugo is so wild and Lyla is so anxious, but when they come together they manage to become something so entirely beautiful and happy together.

Harry/Ginny - I do love a couple that find each other over and over and over again. They're a couple that love one another in every moment and I love writing them.

James/Marci - coming soon, Nano2023 project

Al/Maggie - they were toxic young couple at 17 and grow into a beautiful and ridiculously loving couple at 21. They go on to become a staple at Hogwarts as DADA professor and Hospital Wing Matron.

Lily/Ryan - She's a bit of a wild child and he's able to wrangle her in, they have a mutual love of music and dancing, and they find each other in their darkest moments.

Draco/Astoria - we love couples that grow and learn from one another and they do that over and over and over again!

Padma/Theodore - a rarepair but a good pair, they come together despite their differences and they are such good parents to any child that comes through their home

Susan/Dudley - my first real rarepair, I love them so much and the story I’ve created for them means so much to me. They found each other over and over again and they found love even during a rainstorm.

[yoiku]

Man, last week... started off optimistic and ended up in the pits kinda.

We made plans for me to join a 15 month course to find fitting job(s) with the aim of going to said jobs and trying them out. Sounds good and is something i am interested in, but after friday all i've been thinking is that maybe it's too much too soon. I'm still thinking if i can manage 3 days of workshop/week instead of 2... so diving into something that can have 4-5x 6hr days/week is making me very anxious and already feeling bad if I end up not having the energy to do it. I think its the main thing that has dropped my mood bc I know that the chances of me getting a part-time job in any of the fields that interest me and are something i could be able to do physically, is pretty nonexistent. All of those fields have severe oversupply of potential workers against the amount available jobs, in the entire country. So the chances of getting employed as someone who doesn't have any substancial studies in the field, isn't able bodied or mentally okay... Lets just say it isnt exactly an encouraging thought. I just feel like no matter what I am entirely useless when it comes to any employment that i feel i could perhaps be able to do. If an able-bodied, neurotypical and socially capable person with a suitable degree can't get a job in those fields, what are my chances? lol. I dunno. Already feels like a failure if I muster up the courage to say that I feel like I've said OK to things that I'm not actually sure about. I'm sure they'll understand if I say i'd rather focus on getting back into 3 workshop days and trying to progress my rights for therapy for now. I don't know. I feel conflicted with my own thoughts. Part of me thinks I should give it a go even if I drop out - id at least be certain that it was too much. But I also know how heavily dropping out from anything hits me mentally, so i am genuinely afraid of seeing the bottom of the pit again. The psychologist at the current evaluation course did say she thinks taking things as slowly as needed is probably the best for me considering everything they've summed up abt me so far. I'll try to talk about it at least.

On a less depressing note, the results from the various psych/neuro tests were partly curious. My mathematical skills being extremely below average wasn't a surprise, lmao! But I found it curious that the one that was the highest above average was linguistic skills, followed by the less surprisingly above average spatial awareness that involved shapes, patterns and other stuff that i think any artistic person would excel at. Accuracy was great but speed was awful, lmao. Overall I scored pretty average on the cognitive side. Worth noting is that I am medicated now and I did take my adhd meds on that day as well, so that likely helped slightly with the accuracy and overall concentration. (a lot of the tests had a time limit) Interesting tests though, and I'm glad it gets written up into my files as well, because it's more proof to the fact that my autism is mostly affecting me on the social side of things. I would be really interested to take the same tests in a busy/noisy environment or with some sort of forced interrupts like someone asking you something entirely different suddenly and see just how much of a disaster that would be trying to get back into focusing on the test tasks then, lol. That's morely likely how things are after all if we think of these tests as a measure of how will you get by in the world of working a job, unless you really have a job where you get to work alone in a perfect environment for yourself. (man i love making art at home)

[wulfums]

how is the domestic labour split up in the scudwulfertron household…... Is it all mr b…. Do shenanigans and arguments break out ?!? also you should just talk about your thoughts on their domestic life in general i would love to hear Your Ideas :D

I think it tends to be mostly Mr B and Wulfington cleaning up! I feel like Scudworth claims to be there for emotional support. When Wulfington was pregnant + for a while after it was just Mr B cleaning, though Scudworth was very very involved with taking care of baby Wesley so he does do something.

Cooking is almost always left to Wulfington because he enjoys it + is good at it! though sometimes they all just say "fuck it" and doordash or microwave some pizza rolls.

The only part of the house that Wulfington + Mr B don't do anything chore-wise with are the bathrooms- Scudworth has to clean them because it's his fault they get so bad. And he does but he's mad about it the entire time- though he does get the most grateful thankful kisses from his husbands when he does so its worth it even if he personally does not see the big deal about Cleanliness.

Jumping all over the place but I think before Wesley was born, Wulfington was very worried that Scudworth wouldn't want to be involved in her care at all, so he was so pleasently surprised that he is very much so. Man doesn't even complain abt changing diapers(Not like that could smell worse than his personal bathroom we saw in s2 e1...no im not over that) and loves his daughter so so much.

I think both him and Mr B really love taking care of baby Wesley, and since he is the only with with actual experience raising a baby, I think Mr B tends to be Overinvolved because he's so used to his two husbands messing things up a lot (While he loves that about them......the baby is important) and he will overexplain how to do certain things. I think it takes a while for him to finally step back and let the other two parent more. Like, while Scudworth and Wulfington do take care of her, Mr B just gets very anxious with all the terrible what-ifs. Man does NOT want to lose another Wesley, you know? So I think its understandable.

You know that convo between Trixie and Stripe in the Bluey ep Faceytalk? About how Stripe feels like Trixie won't let him be much of a parent bcuz she gets worried and wants to do everything herself? I feel like a convo like that had to happen. And honestly I think Mr B is like. Pleasently surprised specifically with how good Scuds is for caring for their daughter.

Wulfington is more anxious trying to take care of Wesley but he tries very hard- but Mr B is always there to re-explain to him how to do things without judgement. Wulfington forgets things due to his anxiety a lot and is so scared of messing up and appreciates that his husband will calmly re-explain things.

I think the household does not have to invest in pest control when it comes to like. Rats...skunks(you know thats an issue here)...critters. Wulfington will catch them. He will dress them + cook them and use their pelts for taxidermy. He mostly just has the urge to Attack Kill small animals(Dog Instinct. Wesley dealt with this until she was around 5 or 6, and ended up growing out of it.) but he doesn't want to just...kill it and leave it there. He still respects the animal(Except a specific skunk </3) and wants to use all of it, which is why he learned how to do all this.

I think every morning before school they all do eat breakfast together. Someone is ALWAYS gets up late so they're always kind of rushing- but in a sweet way like in disney sitcoms you know? They also just tend to lean towards Eggos and English Muffins and other instant stuff or things like bananas rather than like. Actual cooked meals. It's way too early for Wulfington to do that. He will on special occasions but otherwise do not ask he will Growl at you.

Since they are all going to the same place, I feel like the layout of the car is Scudworth driving, Wulfington in the passenger seat (Sometimes he sticks his head out the window. Wesley thinks this is embarassing, but his husbands think its adorable. Until they see Hereditary and are like yeah maybe don't do that anymore. And Wulfington is like :( ) and Mr B and Wesley in the back. It's the same when going back home as well.

When high school first started, Wesley really really wanted to use the bus like the other kids. She didn't *need* to but her dads wanted to at least let her try it- turns out she hated it. It's overstimulating as hell. So while she was embarassed to always come to school with her dads before then, she know feels smug about it because she doesn't have to be on the schoolbus.

At bedtime, Scudworth, Wulfington and Mr B cannot sleep without

Telling Wesley they love her and goodnight

and 2. Sleeping in each others arms.

I feel like they have such a hard time sleeping if there isn't at least one of them there with whoevers there...which does happen. Mr B and Scuds still go on trips with just them, Wulfington has to make trips to the compound, and then sometimes Wulfington will either go out on a trip with Mr B or Scuds. They love all being together but alone time like this is super important too so everyone feels equally loved. But during these times, whoever is at home alone usually struggles to sleep.

.............alright that was a Lot im so sorry. this actually uhh calmed me down from how i was feeling? so yippeeee!!! i love talking abt this family sm. im always down to answer questions abt them

[creamofdragonsoup]

Okay here is some Glazerence stuff from discord

They are never on time anywhere ever at all, not to their own scheduled dates, always the last to the function unless lied to and told an incorrect time that is an hour earlier. Laurence spends too much time defurring everything, Blaze says he’s ready and he doesn’t even have pants on and Garroth always wants to make a last minute stop. It’s the same every time.

Garroth is arguably the best driver out of them, Laurence having road rage and Blaze being a very anxious driver. Passenger princess blaze is real.

Blaze biggest PDA initiator, there’s never a time he’s not clinging onto one of his bfs. Makes him seem possessive but that’s not necessarily the case, he just wants to be held at all times.

Laurence tries to participate in werewolf culture for his boyfriends, even though being so actively social is a lot for him. But he enjoys cooking when the werewolf pack comes over for a party.

Werewolf parties get fucking wild if left unattended. Garroth isn’t even known as a hardcore partier, but getting him down off the roof the next day wasn’t fun. The fire department was involved.

Blaze is pretty chill at parties since he’s with his pack, until someone busts out the za and the keg and it’s all over. Parties used to go all night then Laurence put his little kitty foot down and kicked everyone out around 2 am.

Laurence tried to be straight edge most of the time, but smthn abt his boyfriends kissing each other with smoke coming out of their mouths really does it for him. That’s when the parties are left unattended and Aphmau has to start breaking things up or there *will* be a noise complaint.

[wifiwuxians]

sorry for the late reply! im the songxue anon! just saw your responses a few minutes ago and my gosh, you're really very sweet ;; im sorry to have caused so much of a fuss but thank you for being so compassionate and kind ;; (also i adore that crying xue yang omigosh what are you talking abt how can you think thats not amazing its perfect i love it). also the tags? on your first reply??? people are mean to song lan????? WHO IS MEAN TO SONG LAN??? WHY??? HOW????! i'll be honest, i tend to avoid getting involved with fandom discourse At All Costs bc i dont need that kind of stress in my life, so mainly i just look at fanart and fics i like and stay in my lane so i had no idea there were people who hate on song lan???? like??????????? how????????????????? okay, i love xue yang, he's my baby, but i TOTALLY understand people hating him. he has no rights and he deserved everything bad that happened to him and so much more. i just happen to adore him and wanna spoil my stupid lil meowmeow. like it makes SENSE to be mad at xue yang but like.................................. how can anyone hate song lan?!?! HE DID NOTHING WRONG?????? LITERALLY HE JUST GOT HURT, OVER AND OVER, FOR NO REASON????? im sorry for going on such a tangent over a very short tag you added but im a lil flabbergasted that anyone could hate on Best Boy. also while im going on tangents about tags, your 500 aus are part of what i adore about your art oki. like you have such a wonderful and vivid imagination and the way that you give life to the ideas with your art is breath-taking. even if its a concept i dont think i would enjoy just hearing the idea, when i see your execution i am 100% on board because my gosh you have such a beautiful way of bringing life to things.

and you don't need to apologize for anything btw! it's totally oki to assert boundaries and i really dont speak for anyone other than myself. i just saw a few "dont tag as ship" things and i was like "ahh... oki they prolly wouldnt like me" cuz im an anxious bean and i also dont wanna reveal myself as a gross loser who likes weird ships to one of my fav artists, ya know? so you were 100% just doing the good selfcare thing (which much approval, we stan) and i just got the wrong idea cuz im a nervous weirdo. as for revealing myself i feel a bit embarrassed to do so now after being such a weirdo at you oaeurhgiauehrg but one way or another, your are IS getting reblogged, especially now that i have permission to look at some pieces disrespectfully oiaerhjgohre (not SUPER disrespectfully, just maybe a lil bit of 'they're in love your honor' oki) (a silly random thing but im a bit happy to know you dont hate songxue oijghiouehrg its silly but knowing my favorite 'songxue artist' (not-really-songxue-but-i-totally-see-it) doesnt hate my otp is kinda nice 😊 i thought the irony of it was a bit funny before but i also felt guilty for seeing stuff that your didnt really intend with your art and yeah eoirjgioejrg basically my initial asks were all that struggle so its just kinda nice. its not a very popular ship so its cool when its not disliked, even if its not actively enjoyed. idk if im making sense LOL sorry) ohergiuearhg sorry i feel like i went on a bunch of tangents instead of responding to you properly and i think maybe i have a problem of Talking Too Much so i swear i will really try to keep this one short. i love your art, youre completely valid and wonderful, im doing okay and im really happy you responded to me so kindly despite my strangeness, i think you're neat and you deserve a ton of people showering you with praise cuz damn, you make things great. and i'd like to take a moment to express how you can really influence people with your art: i never even considered wen chao x xue yang before your art and now i think they're a really funny couple, and thats completely bc of how lovely your creations are. please believe in your ability to make people love the things that you love through your beautiful art. be proud of how incredible you are. you make everything a lil brighter just by existing but the fact that you exist and choose to share your beautiful art (and fics, ive read some of them and i Love your writing, its incredible) you make the world a whole lot brighter cuz damn, now i get to look at this stuff and just smile and feel warm inside. so thank you for making my life a lil happier and please be confident in yourself!

okay sorry to put em all together but also i felt it was best so let's begin,

^me

1- you've caused no fuss at all so don't worry about that!! i just wanted to make sure it wasn't a ships in the night situation LOL i wanted to make sure you got my response! :) (I'M GLAD YOU ENJOY THE MEME LOL) as for song lan meanness, that's what i'm saying THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING and YET! this is why i stay out of the tags all the time. there's just too much shit out there in the world and sometimes i fail at just gritting my teeth and letting people say their thang, and it gets me in trouble... but maaaaaaan i really need to say it's a shame you wanna stay anonymous because i think we'd get on like a house on fire! you've summed up exactly how i feel about both of them + how i wish others reacted to them haha (but no pressure to reveal yourself! just know i think we'd get along)

and as for 500 AUs... i'm so glad 😭 i am an AU machine, i have so many i can't keep track and they bring me so much joy, but i admittedly feel sort of alone in making them haha SO THIS MEANS A LOT!! especially you complimenting my execution like i think i may just melt into a puddle and pass away jfghsjh thank you,, so much

2- but seriously, don't worry about the tag thing, it is 100% a boundary thing and the only time i think i'd dislike someone for it is if they saw i said not to tag it as something in the body of the post and did it anyway! 'cause that's just rude (and then i feel despair bc what else can i do to get people NOT to tag LMAO) it's for my own comfort, i'm not trying to dictate what people can or can't ship or feel, it's just i'd rather not hear about it :p especially when it's not what i drew! but also i'm a favorite artist? 😳

you haven't been a weirdo at all! no pressure to go mask off but please don't let anything be because you think i think you're a weirdo or a loser, ok? it's not true! hooray reblogs my NUTRIENCE.. THANK YOU! (but haha this isn't a 'theyre in love' type of piece but the one i personally look at most disrespectfully is when i drew sl straight up eating xy's flesh off his ribs... i know cannibalism isn't for everyone though and neither is gory imagery! just... sharing... oversharing...)

for the aside: no problem! i will say for transparency purposes that my relationship with it IS complicated and that i personally would need it to fit a very uncommon mold (that i do not often see) for me to be like 👍 which is why i tend to stick to my own stuff + what a chosen few friends make when it comes to them in general, but my god you're a rare breed! i've never met anyone who had it as their otp!! you're braver than any US marine because it's such a rarepair it didn't make it into the like top 11 mdzs ships on ao3 or whatever...

3- i love talking though! i really appreciate your messages and i hope this response wasn't a complete jumbled mess ahhh...

thank you so so much for all the lovely praise and encouragement, getting these messages actually helped me break out of my funk a little and do some chores, so know your words do have an impact too! 💕 i need to remember more often that as long as even one person smiles at my work, it will have been worth it. i promise i'm trying ;; sometimes i get caught up in the numbers still and i'm very ashamed of that, but damn, you took time out of your day to let me know that you love and appreciate what i do, and that's honestly made me tear up a little, so THANK YOU AGAIN !! i'm sorry i'm failing at expressing myself and my gratitude properly kgjdklhjkgh (also, thank you for the xuechao support, like THAT's what i call a RAREPAIR! (canned laughter) i really try to spread the joy with those two)

i'm really floundering on how to say thank you well enough so... maybe i can show you some birthday art i made for a friend who also loves xy and sl and xy/chao (which of course now im being nitpicky about but the friend loved it so idc LOL)

[the-one-who-lambs]

🐑🐑🐑 (3) (for the fic ask thingy in case this confuses u lmao)

3. What’s something you learned about yourself as a writer?

This is... a long one. TL;DR: It took me a while but I finally, actually internalized that I don't need to set goalposts for myself and consistently move them.

Story's gonna get vulnerable and involve a few other people too. Many of y'all probably saw me go through a whole character arc but I've never really talked about how I felt about this (aside from a couple close friends).

Around July/August, I noticed my readership going down because I had just finished a big writing project and I was moving on to other stuff/trying to figure out what my next big thing was gonna be. I have always always written for myself but ngl, getting lots of consistent engagement and then suddenly not as much anymore made me wonder if I was doing something wrong, if the quality of my works were going down. I vented to a group of friends (including you lmao sorry Juliet) about it and they were like "chill it's the beginning of the semester and people are getting rly busy it's ok" and I was like "yeah makes sense" but nope, I had just plateaued and was dropping off a little for a couple months.

Around the same time, I posted about reaching some sort of milestone and got an anon (maybe well intentioned but it seemed kinda backhanded) that basically said "oh if you ACTUALLY have that many reads that makes you the most popular writer in the cotl fandom. I'm gonna place u above everyone else due to this metric I just kinda invented." And once I noticed my readership had stopped growing and just kinda leveled off/dropped a little bit it made me anxious. Sadly, "keeping others interested" with my writing wasn't really a concern of mine until this started bothering me

I did know that recognition was not the same thing as talent but silly perfectionist brain thought "oough you're the exception btw. you're just not interesting anymore and therefore you're probably not as good anymore lol"

Anyway. October rolls around. I start getting some asks comparing my writing to bamsara's, starting with them mentioning little details that sound very similar but realistically are coincidences because sometimes multiple writers see a theme/motif and we all start chewing it. Anyway, it's obvious that anon is just trying to start shit. Maybe they saw how I'd been kinda beating myself up abt my writing for a little while and tried to make me jealous of them. I don't know. It's probably not worth trying to understand tbh. I just delete the asks. I keep anons on just in case there's a genuine concern.

at this point I'm gonna interrupt to say EVERYTHING TURNS OUT OK I PROMISE and I'm not tagging you in case it's a sore spot but Sara if you're reading this I'm literally so sorry that me learning the lesson I got out of this involved you getting these nasty messages too.

Bam posts something kinda vague about how they get compared to some writers they've never read before. I hope this is a coincidence but alarm bells are going off and I keep this to myself.

Anon keeps doing this every once in a while for a few weeks; at first it looks like anon is accusing bamsara of copying me (???? like i said, we're just exploiting similar themes) and then it starts turning into basically "they're doing everything you're doing but better." Bam obviously hadn't done anything wrong, so I keep supporting them as I do the other writers in the fandom. Eventually the anon gets kinda pissy that I'm not envious or trying to tear someone else down or whatever. I've kept this mostly to myself and they don't like that.

So when they send an ask in mid-November and this had been going on for a few weeks I finally answer an ask to tell them to shut the hell up (gracefully) and then I forget about it and go to sleep. Wake up the next morning and uhhh. See Bam feels like shit because they got a really scathing message. Comments say it happened during a stream and I check it to see if it's the same anon and it is. Fuck on a stick. I literally burn myself out with anger over the next two days until I donate to their kofi as a peace agreement. They reach out and apologize for something they didn't do and it takes me until now to realize that literally nothing I have worried about over the past few months matters at all.

Anyway. It all turns out fine because we become mutuals and hype each other up. Kicker is, whoever it was forgot to turn off anon in Bam's askbox so we got to block them and I'm pretty sure they deactivated too lmao. I reached out to a bunch of writer friends and checked in with them to violently spread positivity and I've been trying to violently spread positivity as much ever since. Yay. Happy ending but sucks that this had to happen for me to crush my anxiety. Bam and I are buddies now and I've also befriended many more writers since, too. cotl writers we are unionizing.

[giuliano-fan-account]

Hello omori and hxh fans

[ Spoilers for omori later on ] 

Hi!!!1! I just decided to make a bunch of hxh x omori sprites for my funny little fusion au idea because I really like hxh and omori both

so here are the sillies

His name is KIRA. I might change it later on but for now it’ll be KIRA since i couldnt rlly decide on another one.

Alluka!111ww1weeewe ue she is like the best ever in here. She’s mostly like DW Aubrey and a bit of Kel as well

Her litle sprite

I don’t know what to do with nanika but I may put her in there somewhere. I don’t want to make her scary/bad in the story because shes not

I havent made neutrals for leorio/kurapika yet but here !!! I made it for a little interaction. I decided that since in omori theres not much of an age difference, that kurapika will be 14 in the past and leorio will be 16, and later obv 18 and 20.

Alluka is still 11 and Kalluto is still 10 though, as well as killua and gon being both 12 in the past (14, 15, 16, 16, 18, and 20) 

I made the text boxes and stuff with my art and this excellent dialogue generator it was very fun.

I havent made gon or kallutos dw sprites yet but...

[ Major omori spoilers & tw for death/suicide ]

ok so here we get into the nitty gritty of the story, so if youve played/watched a playthrough of omori you know what im talking abt...

so in the story, sunny accidentally kills mari and basil watches. If you didnt already guess, Killua is supposed to be sunny, Gon would be mari, and basil will be kalluto. 

Killua moved in with gon a month prior because he was old enough and his home situation obviously isnt the best (a lot of trauma with his parents and illumi which in the hikikomori route would go much in depth to) and since they lived together more they got into more fights. 

One day, Kalluto was over and Killua and Gon got in a big argument. Kalluto was speechless and they wanted to interfere but couldn’t as they saw their brothers face. Killua was getting really agitated and pushed Gon down the stairs accidcentally. 

Idk what the argument will be about specifically... I don’t know if i hsould have them do a performance or not like in the actual game. I also dont know what they’ll do with gon after they find out hes.. yk.. dead... but it’ll probably be a staged suicide as well, as that makes the rest of the group feel even more conflicted. Especially Leorio, who thought himself a bigger brother figure to Gon, and Kurapika, who feels guilty about often relying on Gon to comfort him instead of comforting Gon. 

The scene....

The last box is more or less a reference to the scene in the truth sequence where there are a bunch of hospital beds and if you interact with them it says “This person is not alive.” or “This person is not breathing.” Ifg but yea.

Speaking of the truth sequence, instead of collecting photos, you collect scraps of ripped paper from a drawing of the truth by kalluto. Instead of taking photos, Kalluto likes to draw/do paper crafts, and instead of a photo album, they have a sketchbook for drawings relating to their friends.

After gon dies, Killua obv isolates like sunny in the game, but Mito is more involved in taking care of him unlike sunnys mom.

I think there will be two somethings, one being the bitterness of gons death and gons spirit being twisted into a sick innocent... thing, and the other being illumi’s... well basically everything illumi told killua about himself, and killua being convinced that it’s true.

Alluka tries to be positive, and is the one to get Killua out of the house, and sticks up for Kalluto when they need it.

Kalluto really wants killua to like them, and is now scared of him and feels like his burden. Theyre often anxious around him and Killua tries to repress any bad memories, so he doesnt interact with Kalluto when they see each other again much at all.

The zoldyck household is not a very good place to be in any case for Kalluto and Alluka. Illumi left, luckily, but their parents were still as harsh (transphobicc...), and often say theyre glad that their friend group seperated. Alluka learned to stand up for herself and Kalluto in this environment because Killua wasn’t there anymore. (Kalluto Basil parallels -- you came back to save me)

Kurapika also isolates but in a different way. He isn’t a hikikomori, and he goes outside a lot, but hes closed off emotionally. He stopped caring about school, so he didn’t even bother looking into college after he graduated. He pretends that he doesnt know his friends, which isnt very successful with Alluka or Leorio, but it really hurts Kalluto. When they try to talk to him, he’s very passive aggressive.

Kurapikas home life isnt great. He was orphaned at 12 years old, and his relationship with his legal guardian, Izunavi, wasn’t too amazing at first, but begrudgingly by the time he turned 14 they got along. Everything reverted when Gon died, however, as he stopped talking to his caretaker as well as his friends.

So hes kind of like real world aubrey in the way that he becomes prickly towards his friends, but he doesnt join a gang.... There would def be a ‘it means everything’ like scene and also a breakdown scene where Kurapika breaks down and apologizes to everybody, especially Kalluto who isnt there if were going like the sunny route plot. 

Leorio is at college!!!!! and going to med school obv.. I think he would have always wanted to be a doctor unlike hero, so in dw maybe he would have a SYRINGE AS A WEAPON HELP. But anyways he feels so guilty about gons death like gon was like a little brother to him, and he was so young. So he was definitely depressed like hero was/is. Alluka consistently visited him (and tried to visit kurapika and killua to no avail) before he left for college, and she helped him become less depressed. He wants his friends to be happy again and will do anything to make sure nothing happens to any of them. 

He notices especially how different Killua, Kurapika, and partially Kalluto are, and he is the one that really helps Kurapika open up after everything thats happened. He’s not sure how to talk to Kalluto and Killua about it as much, though.

...instead of garden sheers, kalluto has scissors... 

anyways thats my infodum p..... bye keep being silly

[read-weep-repeat]

So I just was in the hospital last night and I was wondering how either the oh brothers or book club daddies would react to having to take their reader outside the house to get emergency medical attention (since I don't think they'd be able to provide it there). I was having trouble with my appendix if that helps paint a clearer picture at all. Feel free to ignore this if it's not comfortable for you to write.

Oh no!! I’m so sorry to hear that darlin! I hope you’re feeling better today! ♥️♥️

(This gave me a Drabble idea tysm)

The oh brother boys would be very involved and anxious as they took her to the hospital. Mc doesn’t speak Korean, so they’d be translating (on purpose- they don’t want a doctor that can speak MCs language.) they’d always have someone in the room with mc, and walking alongside her bed if she had to go into an operation. If she did have to have surgery or some other operation, they would all live in the waiting room until it was done. Some of the boys like Jimin and Taehyung would be crying as they think abt mc all alone and the possibility of her not coming back (however slim), Jungkook would be trying to keep himself busing by running around the hospital to get whatever his brothers need, namjoon and Jin would step up in communications with doctors and updates, etc. and surprisingly hoseok and yoongi would be pretty catatonic. They’d be sitting there for hours, unmoving until Jungkook asks them to drink water, say something, do anything so that they don’t have 2 more people to worry about. And of course when they’re all happily reunited they’re extra clingy and protective of mc in her fragile state. Enough so that something like her tripping would break the resolve that any of them had in the waiting room. The boy she’s with would break down crying, holding her as close and gently as possible because he was so so scared of losing the one person he loves more than anything in this world.

The book club boys are manipulative as shit. They’d be in the waiting room when mc gets out of her appointments, and if she had an operation they would just somehow be in her room when she wakes up 😃 she swore she didn’t tell them about it, but their insistence that she did makes her accept it and their help. They’d persuade her to move in with them (for the time being!! Of course!) so that they can help her during recovery. They’re so doting. They cook for her, go to each of her lectures in shifts to bring back notes for her to study, keep track of and give her all her medicine, anything and everything she could think of needing. And of course she doesn’t recognize this for a while, and when she does thinks she’s reading into things. But during her recovery, they slowly encourage her to regress and completely rely on them. At first she just needed help up the stairs and into the bathroom, but the boy helping her is so adamant that his sweet girl needs help washing up too that her little self preens and accepts. He even sneaks in a few phrases that shoudl ring alarm bells, but only make her feel even more regressed and dependent. He says things like “you needed some help, huh baby? It’s ok to tell us when you can’t do big girl things.” “Daddy’s got it, bubs. Give me the sponge. what a good girl.” They use any opportunity to make her more reliant and susceptible to them, including illness.

[br1ghtestlight]

everybody has to listen to me ramble abt my ocs relationship NOW these guys right here ⬇️⬇️

How did they first meet?

they were locked in a bedroom together in a foreign country with a bunch of strangers. totally normal meetcute :)

What was their first impression of each other?

two was probably like that guy is pretty annoying. too much of an anxious pushover and too optimistic and positive given the circumstances >:(

sunshine thought two was a HUGE grumpy grouch (he was but i dont blame him) and he was like i can cheer him up we can be friends :D <33 really he just thought two looked upset and he needed to focus his anxiety and worry onto someone other than himself in this situation so he latched onto two. like an octopus

Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?

neither of them really has family or friends outside of their collective hivemind thing so not really?? within their little collective im sure a few people thought "yeah they'd probably be cute together and they have feelings for each other" but they don't usually get involved with each other's relationships or personal lives unless it majorly impacts the collective which it doesnt by the time they actually get together romantically. they've got enough going on in their own lives to be worried abt everybody else's personal relationship drama!!!!!

Who felt romantic feelings first?

sunshine :)

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

not really?? two didnt even realize he HAD feelings until sunshine asked him to be his boyfriend and sunshine was never actively against being in a relationship with two. he was worried abt embarrassing himself or two not liking him in that way of course but he KNEW he liked two and he's never been great at hiding that kind of thing

What would their lives be like if they had never met?

worse lmao. two would probably end up dead after getting into a prison fight or whatever he didnt have anything to live for at that point. and sunshine would just be lonely and sad without meaningful connections in his life, always being a pushover and never challenging himself

If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

before they met two would be like uh okay thats weird. does it have to be him??? and sunshine would be like i can fix him i can make him better :) (in the end two does most of the heavy lifting in their relationship)

AFTER they knew each other they'd both be like yeah i guess that does make sense. given the circumstances

Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

sunshine asked two out and was like TOTALLY panicking not wanting two to think he was weird or embarrassing or being creepy he wanted everything to be perfect. and two was like sure whatever u dont need to Freak out abt this..... i already like you

Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

never had an official first date!!!! maybe they hung out at the beach or something idk

What was their first kiss like?

after they agree to be a couple sunshine kisses two and two is like did u know. that was my first kiss >:D and sunshine is like OHH MY GOD IF I HAD KNOWN I WOULD HAVE TRIED A LITTLE HARDER LMAO

Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

sunshine was two's first everything!!! he'd never been in a relationship or thought abt romance before (never came up in his life + he's probably demiromantic) so it was all new to him. two wasn't any of sunshine's firsts he's had a few boyfriends before

What’s their height difference? Age difference?

they're about the same height and uhh i dont have their birthdays on me right now but i think they're maybe 3-4 years apart (with sunshine being older)

What’s their relationship with each other’s families? Do they share a friend group?

neither of them has a relationship with their family (sunshine is fully no contact and two just doesn't Talk to his family very often for a few different reasons) but i think if two's sister was alive she would absolutely ADORE sunshine she always wanted two to have a supportive healthy relationship in his life. and yes they have the same friends lmao

Who takes the lead in social situations?

they're both quite introverted but usually sunshine!!! he feels more social pressure to be polite and introduce himself to people

Who gets jealous easier?

neither of them is particularly jealous bcuz they KNOW that their relationship is strong and exactly how they feel about each other in a very close and intimate way but i honestly think sunshine would be a little bit more jealous?? just bcuz two is less outwardly expressive towards him and sometimes his brain needs validation or he goes crazy and thinks everybody hates him

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear?

100% two at EVERY opportunity and sunshine always thinks its hilarious but tells him to stop anyway bcuz they'll get in trouble

Who said “I love you” first?

sunshine just bcuz two doesn't really think about those things?? sunshine is pretty loving and affectionate and two has been socially isolated for a lot of his life so he isnt used to saying those things

What are their primary love languages?

for sunshine i would say words of affirmation and uh maybe physical touch and gifts?? for two probably acts of service but i could be forgetting something. honestly i probably have this written down somewhere

Who uses cheesy pick-up lines?

sunshine ALWAYS does typical cheesy romance things like pick-up lines and buying two flowers for valentines day and two will always make fun of him for it even tho he secretly loves it

Who initiates kisses?

they both do equally i would imagine?? maybe two slightly more bcuz he's less likely to use his words to show affection

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

NOT THAT OFTEN TBH they're not against it or anything but they just arent the type of couple who need to constantly be kissing or flirting at every opportunity and they'd probably be private with their romance (or as private as they could hope to be with seven other people around)

Who’s more protective?

two is more protective just bcuz he KNOWS sunshine won't stand up for himself or say no to somebody so he feels like he has to remind him to do that or intervene vs sunshine who knows that two can take care of himself

Who’s better at comforting the other?

sunshine has always been better with emotions and comforting ppl he's very good at it

What are their favorite things to do together?

i feel like they'd really enjoy watching bad/cheesy movies from the 70s and 80s and making fun of how bad they are or like 2000s high school dramas that are just completely ridiculous. they bond over being a little bit bitchy together <3 and two is glad that sunshine feels safe to do that around him bcuz it is a Big step for him to express negativity

What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

they don't use typical couples nicknames like babe/sweetheart/honey but two will occasionally call sunshine nicknames like sun/sunny/shiney/little miss sunshine etc and my very favorite is "the literal embodiment of the sun" which two always uses when he's being a little bit cheeky @ sunshine or teasing him

"oh yeah we've got THE LITERAL EMBODIMENT OF THE SUN over here telling us how we're supposed to do things 🙄 thanks mr perfect"

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

im sure i have a full playlist somewhere?? but monster from adventure time is very them

Who remembers the little things?

sunshine definitely does but i think two would remember things like how sunshine likes his coffee etc bcuz he wants to take care of his boyfriend, and he knows sunshine's never really had anyone who cared about those things before :/

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

verbal :) also much easier for them for a variety of reasons bcuz they can always talk, but they cant always be together

If they get married, who proposes?

sunshine would propose sorry two 😭😭 he loves sunshine so much but he doesn't even think about those things tbh he's very in-the-moment he doesn't consider relationship milestones in the same way. he's just happy to be with sunshine without even considering marriage

What’s the wedding like? Who attends?

they would probably have a small courthouse wedding and invite Obviously all their friends/the collective and their families if they so choose. i also think sunshine could convince two to invite some of his extended family and maybe his parents if they haven't died by that point. nobody from sunshine's family is invited

How many kids do they have, if any? What are they like?

i always imagined they'd eventually have one daughter!!! she would be a tube of sunscreen just like two's sister and she'd probably be pretty athletic AND optimistic really the biggest supporter of anybody who needs it :) very physically draining to parent i would assume bcuz she's always running around and playing sports

Who’s the stricter parent?

two would be stricter but i wouldn't call sunshine like a totally laid back fun loving parent or anything. two is just a bit more intimidating but their kid is never EVER scared of him he's just...... intense

Who worries the most?

sunshine will always ALWAYS be the biggest worrier but honestly they're both huge worry warts when it comes to ppl they care about. rainbow and jayden have to step in to stop them from becoming helicopter parents

Who kills the bugs in the house?

THEY DO NOT KILL BUGS IN THEIR HOUSE two will always offer but sunshine gets upset and says that they have to take the bugs outside in a little cup or container even if its a really annoying fly and mosquito. two respects sunshine's rules even when he isnt home he will spend hours trying to catch a spider instead of just killing it

Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

hmm i think sunshine would bcuz two feels like the type of guy who is up at Five In The Morning Not A Minute Later and sunshine convinces him to come back to bed and cuddle

Who’s the better cook?

two doesnt have a lot of experience cooking (bcuz prison) so sunshine is better at first but i think once two is given time to relearn old cultural recipes he'd be a really good cook too. sunshine is the type of guy to make pb&j sandwiches and Juice for dinner and two is out here preparing three course traditional togan meals with freshly prepared fish (u can guess whose cooking their daughter likes more)

[fredheads]

when fred and fp started hooking up but all they were doing was making out do you think they went through an awkward period of figuring out whether or not to take things the next step or did it come natural bc i can see fp wanting to move pretty fast given his relationship with sex and thinking he needs to sleep with someone to keep them interested but on the other hand i can also see him getting shy any time fred started suggesting going further bc it was different with fred with there being actual feelings involved + all the shit he internalized from senior idk i just think either way sex wouldve been a whole ordeal with the two of them cuz fps got a lot of shit to unpack, idk what freds deal is if hes even got one lol i'll leave that to you

Not fp thinking he needs to give it up with fred asap or else fred won't be interested 😔😔😔 ouch....

I definitely see it both ways from his perspective... on a lighter note I think Fred was pretty much ready to go from the start 😂 he was soooo turned on by fp that's his hot boyfriend 🖤🔥 he absolutely used to lay in bed alone at night before they had done it for the first time and touch himself imagining the whole scenario 😩 yeah he had some anxieties abt being gay and internalized homophobia and shame around it bc it goes against everything he's been taught but he didn't have as much baggage around sex as fp did so he could work through that... I do absolutely picture them making out and both being so nervous and anxious wondering if they're gonna go further and how that will work and if the other person is ok with that 😭❤️ something fred had to deal with was constantly trying to guess what was going on in fps head cuz he always shuts down when he's overwhelmed so fred truly couldn't tell where fp was at most of the time and he wouldn't allow himself to guess wrong so it stressed him out a bit 😭 but then one day in their gay summer of love I guess it all just came together 🥰

[castle-dominion]

c4x19 47 seconds

The protest bomb ep

heck yeah! Let's go protestors! Mum & lil bro thought this was an episode of Arrow at first

She's lucky there are no swears

Cool how he kno-- wait ringo was the drummer for the beatles, not this guy's name

She got anxious there bc the filming was just a bit later than she expected bc of the drummer

heck yeah!

FUCK NO

Love how the camera one was shocked for a sec but immediately started filming again

"if you've just tuned in" girl it has been like three seconds since the explosion & six seconds since you went live

Ah, her face, she did not expect people to be injured

Oof all these injured people here.

wait is that the mime? Poor fellow there.

there is still fire here?

five dead is a LOT... 28 injured, depending how bad they might still die. Why was it so bright earlier & now so dark?

Good on her, no comment, deal with press relations

Did she somewho she recognized?

Ooh the music today.

She actually listens to someone tell her she, nypd, is not allowed to enter the crime scene, which is under control of the fbi? Wowie.

I hope they get both lanie & perlmutter (& possibly slaughter's mortician girl & alexis) here looking at bodies.

Castle looks so shocked & sad.

Ok on the outfits, castle is wearing typical castle garb & looks hot as always, beckett has a nice grey turtleneck, ryan & esposito have coats & I can't see them v well rn but I like their coats & outfits rn so yeah. grey detective-looking jacket for ryan, black collar-up for espt it looks like. I'll give another update later.

Could still be a suicide bomber but with like a briefcase bomb not a vest bomb. Also who is your medic friend? I need character names & faces!

VG, someone whom I actually respect: Listen up, people! We're still piecing together what happened here, but what I can tell you – FBI and Homeland Security will be taking point on this investigation. [Beckett looks disappointed & esposito & ryan kind of follow suit.] NYPD will act in a support capacity. Our first assignment is to determine if any of the victims were targeted because of their involvement in the protest. Uniforms are bringing families to the precinct as we speak, so…let's go hold some hands and do our jobs.

"To sin by silence when we should protest makes…cowards of men."

Heck man, look at ryan's jacket! Squares!

Dang, they were tourists..? That's honestly rly sad. & they were planning on starting a family...

[04:03, INT. PRECINCT, BREAK ROOM - DAY]

[Castle stares out the window ((btw wearing a leather dress jacket)); Beckett approaches him from behind.] ((he is not interviewing anyone, he is not excited over the case... this is something))

KB: You good?

RC: Yeah. Yeah, it's just this case, you know? It kind of gets to you. How'd it go with the rest of the families?

KB: Um, one victim was the first kid in his family to go to college, and the other was a mother of two, so… about like you'd expect. No one seems to have been targeted, though. ((How many people? We have the recruiter, the tourist, the college student, & the mom. that is only 4, who is the other dead victim?))

RC: So their deaths were random. You know, most of our victims they…they die for a reason. You know, there's a logic behind it. It's a twisted logic at times, but…at least it makes some kind of sense.

KB: Yeah, but in this case, these people were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

RC: And their future and all their plans, everything is just gone in a flash. ((pUNintended))

[Beckett and Castle gaze at one another.]

KB: It makes you think about all those things in your own life that you don't want to put off anymore.

[Castle's mouth opens as he takes Beckett's meaning. Esposito enters, interrupting their confession of love.]

he says "troops" & I thought that was a colloquial term, just smth he said abt ppl congregating, but it could be actually the term for them.

I love how they show a clip of the bomb going off there. Good choice by the editor or whoever made that choice. I can't see it v well though & Ithought slowing it down I might be able to see more of it

OK SO: the reason I got into unus annus was bc during the protests in what, april, possibly may of 2020, I saw protest information including what it was like to get pepper sprayed, I saw the unus annus pepper spray video. Pepper spray sucks. They say to use milk but water is better (tho an acidic dairy product might help), however, be sure to wash AWAY from your eyes.

I bring this up because the fbi recovered a photo from one of the protestor's phones.

Do Not take photos! Don't include faces! Cover up any scars or tattoos, wear nondescript clothes. Turn off your phone's GPS, data, & wifi. In fact, turn off your phone entirely, only turn it on if you need to make an emergency call.

If a pig throws in a can of tear gas, you can cover it with a pylon & douse it with water.

Do Not wear suction swim goggles, if you get hit with a rubber bullet or even just thrown to the ground too hard, you can pop out an eye.

If you wear contact lenses: do not wear them if there is a risk of tear gas or pepper spray.

If you wear glasses: only wear them if you really need them, try to wear the most nondescript frames you have.

If you use mobility aides, use the nondescript ones, not the cane you personalized with stickers. If you use a wheelchair but can also use a walker/rollator, go for the rollator. You can still sit on it if you need to, but it is safer. If you do use a wheelchair, cover up the logo & anything you did to personalize it. I highly recommend using push-handle spikes to prevent people from moving you without consent. Hell on wheels is a business that sells them suited for your needs. You can get a pair that can be removed easily if you do need someone to push. Be aware, if rubber bullets are a risk, your mobility aid could be damaged.

& I repeat, do not take photos of protestors, I know it was a "good" thing in castle, but usually if the feds want photos of a protestor's phone, it is not good.

My question is though: why did they take a pic of where the bomb would have been?

47 seconds is a short zone, usually you have like a two hour kill zone

lots of names on the list wow.

Love the diagram on the board!

How did they get the names of all the ppl there tho? The injured ones maybe, but the ones who were just there? They would have run, they would refuse to give their names to pigs.

Holy moly only on the second intro rn! I have to go to work in an hour & a half!

Corinne: Do I look like I'm in the 99 percent?

Me: Uh, kind of. Do you have over 11 100 000 dollars?

Flashbacks are a good decision for this kind of stationary episode. (lol, really is stationary, they are in the station.) Like, even Castle is technically not in the top 1%, his net worth is like 4mil. There is a difference between rich-because-I-work-36-hour-shifts-as-a-surgeon-but-I-never-get-to-enjoy-my-mansion-because-I'm-at-work-all-the-time, inheritance-rich, rich-because-I'm-an-author-&-not-the-starving-artist-kind, & rich-because-I-commit-massive-wage-theft-on-all-the-employees-beneath-me. Now of course you can be hella rich, but the top 1% is about three standard deviations away from the mean. ofc statistics are probs wrong here. there is a wage GAP, not a nice bell curve. Anyway, you probably ARE within the 99%, just the rich side of it.

Good guy wearing a gas mask. There's the hoodie guy. There's the drummer.

Oh & btw you can LOOK at stuff online & buy them irl or vice versa. When buying my knives, I was told to go to a knife shop & test out the ones they had, find what I liked, & then buy it cheap online.

Box guy, "that's mine," spilled coffee

If he was carrying a bomb of course he'd look nervous & sweaty. Just like how the other dirty bomb the guy was calm bc he didn't know it was a bomb.

WEST SIDE WALLY! THE MAN IS BACK! Westside is one of my fave recurring characters.

(espt why do you look so weird when he says to call him westside.)

Johnny Law lmao

Love his sign. Will work protest for food. He is The Best.

Beethoven?

JE: Stop. Let me understand this. You…you saw Beethoven, [Ryan looks to the side on concern] the composer who's been dead for 200 years, in the plaza this afternoon?

WSW: Oh, yeah. And I bet that half-dead bastard is behind all this.

[Ryan clears his throat.]

KR: West Side, are you on any medications of any kind?

WSW: I don't see how that's relevant.

it's probably that he is NOT on medication lol. or hungry & dehydrated.

Man looks familiar. I swear tho, he's going to be real, not just west side's imagination.

You know, westside would look really good if they trimmed his beard, he's a really good looking actor.

Oh no, not more bomb threats...

RC: It's like trying to find Waldo in a sea of Waldos.

prioritizing interviews is a great idea.

RC: You know, the witnesses that were closest to the bomb aren't on our list. ((oof he right))

KB: *looks at him to continue*

RC: Maybe dead men do tell tales.

Jesse Freidman? More like Jesse fried-man eyo! Sorry that was distasteful. He wasn't even fried, he died in an explosion from blunt force trauma, not the fire of the explosion.

Oh poor alexis.

Except that Dr Parish said alexis needed to get stuff done. Lanie might say the same thing but Dr Parish said to get the personal effects done. You should at least talk to the staff & ask if you can take her home & let beckett know you're taking alexis home & staying, not talking to alexis for a minute like you implied when you said you needed a minute.

K but the film clips don't seem like they were what they were at the beginning of the episode

MR: Honey, do you ever wonder why I never visited you at the precinct the first year you were working there?

RC: I always thought it was because of the harsh lighting.

MR: (chuckles) Well, that was a consideration. No, I thought if I—if I saw you acting like a cop, I'd start thinking of you as a cop, and I just…whew. That—that brought on all manner of nightmares.

RC: How did you get over it?

MR: Eventually, you realize, your children are gonna make choices you don't like. Just a fact of life. ((this made my mom hug me so tight))

RC: Well, if the bombing proves anything, it's that bad things can happen no matter what you do. Nobody's tomorrow is guaranteed.

((In Cree the word for tomorrow is "IF the sun rises tomorrow" which implies that we don't KNOW that the sun will rise tomorrow, we just have FAITH that it will. wapaki. Edit: see the rest of this comment after the quote))

[Martha raises her eyebrows.]

MR: So…how do you plan to act on this realization?

RC: What do you mean?

MR: Oh, you know what I mean. Richard, how much longer are you gonna drag your heels before you tell Beckett how you feel?

[Castle shifts uncomfortably.]

MR: And I mean, while she is awake, not lying on the ground with a bullet in her chest.

((Wapaki comment, continued: I actually spell it wapaké bc that's how I was initially taught to pronounce it but other ppl say wapagi bc in cree k/g, t/d, n/ng, p/b, s/sh, & ts/ch are all both kind of considered the same. Ojibwe has different spellings but similar words: pimohte means walk, bimo'tee I think is it in ojibwe, & ojibwe is an anishinabe language so I saw an anishinabe word that meant "walk in a good way" & at first I didn't understand a thing, but then I saw the relation to the ojibwe word & I related it back to Cree. Languages are so cool. You know, I thought celtic languages would be removed from romance languages, I thought they might have a bit of german influence, but slainta means health in gaelgie (irish gaelic) & sante is health in french. That's the only relation I can remember rn but I think there was one more that I learned of recently.))

Martha is so right. I love her with all mu heart.

they are in LOVE!

RYAN NO YOU ALSO INTERRUPTED THEIR LOVE CONFESSION ACH (at least ryan is pretty)

castle it cannot wait until after the case, you never know if you have a tomorrow

This is why you turn off your gps.

That is a damn good friend!

Where did they get the audio from?

Andrew Haynes

I don't think he's planning on bombing you.

*just eating their food*

lmao he probably is not even in the 1%

She's making buddy buddy with him.

*all close to her*

lmao I hate him. Most of these people HAVE jobs, they just are still poor bc the wage is stupid. Besides, SOMEONE has to mop floors & wipe tables, who is going to do that job? They still deserve to live. Covid taught us which jobs are actually essential. Factory jobs, cashiers, medical professionals (including people like porters & janitors)

That's freidman, right? Who turned around Haynes?

Man this guy is so dumb.

& the longer you go, the more they forget & witness accounts get scrumbly.

The drummer <3 as a busker, I really respect him.

Well he's probably infamous, like that guy who plays the drum while on a skateboard in the city nearby. Everyone knows him. If he was drumming near the protest, he is probably going to be at the next protest.

I really respect him, not wanting to say anything. "I gave the wrong answer?"

Haynes should TOTALLY remain in custody.

VG: Not you Mr Castle, I have a special task for you

Me: "get out of my investigation?"

VG: I'mma get u to speedread

She actually thinks he has value uwu.

"no I'm not" she says & Iove her

ALEXIS' CHOCCY CHIP PANCAKES

Well he also does it bc he's in love with beckett

Well… they say genius… skips a generation WOW THAT'S--

Apparently, so does funny.

"Hey bobby" he says with a GUN

holy crap I need to take a pic of ryan's outfit

Man's an early greying bro.

Castle is back with COFFEE

"& I missed it?"

Castle acab moments

OH NO SHE'S NOW REVEALING THE TRAUMA THING.

Girl you can NOT remember every second of it. Different people have different reactions. Plus, at what point do you not remember?

& castle talks to her to himself

Talking to his mom. They have such a great relationship.

Maybe she didn't say anything bc she has that wall in her or bc she doesn't remember as much as she thinks

(But also bro you can't remember all of it, at what point do you not remember? Do you remember the surgery? No, they put you under. Do you remember every second of the shot & falling to the ground & that means "Every second of IT" it meaning the shot & nothing after.)

He's right. It is about MORE than books, more than HER even.

You can redirect love... & also he has worked with her for YEARS but he was pining with hope, not pining hopelessly

Castle you're communicating like a girl. You say these double entendres & half expect her to understand that you were watching.

There are only so many garage door opener frequencies out there so sometimes in big parking lots or alleys you can beep your car or try your garage door opened & someone else's will open.

*Tosses evidence bags FULL of that stuff*

He's a pickpocket?? I mean sexy ig but bro you're preying on OTHER POOR PEOPLE

The beethoven

& THEN THE MUSIC CHANGES LIKE THAT SO GOOD

Oh he has so much guilt bc he didn't mean to bomb anyone

WHY did they show freidman's photo? maybe bc he was the closest so he was chasing the backpack

RC: And since he placed the bomb between two dumpsters…

KB: He didn't think that anyone would get hurt. Then Bobby stole the backpack.

chronology!

"haranguing"

"business opportunity" lmao

How do they know it was seconds? Right they had his phone records w/o the ophone

Hold on, Westside knows that this is beethoven's 5th?

She called HIM? when?

Except when did SHE call HIM?

it was NOT the best vantage tho bc it exploded in a different place?

Except she would have had to continue reporting, she didn't just pop in for a few seconds, blow the bomb, then run to the storm drain

She KNOWS he's talking to HER but she DOUBTS it

Music recall & she gives congrats

captions said holler, sounded like he may have said yell. Does that mean he'll call her later?

LOVE HEARTBREAK GAACK

as always, thank you livejournal transcript https://scriptline.livejournal.com/64171.html