#anyone is welcome to DM me with your edits if you also want a second opinion on something

[mayasaurusss]

Transfem Jackie in the wilderness??

The feeling of you.

Contents: female reader, transfeminine Jackie, angst and comfort, internalized guilt, detailed descriptions of feelings, exploring themes of transexuality, 3rd point of view from Jackie's prespective, vanilla smut, gentlia described vaguely. Not really thought plot.

Words count: 7k/ about 12 pages

Author's note: As you read, this is a transfeminine Jackie oneshot. I wanted to explore themes of self hatred in many ways. Since I am not transexual, I based myself on the expereince someone in my life had to describe various moments in this oneshot. If this might be offensive to anyone, please dm me so I can edit this work. This is the first time in an oneshot where I write full on smut. This might not be very 'sexy' then, so forgive me for that. This oneshot contains vanilla-ish sex, so it might not be everyone's cup of tea. Anon, I'm sorry for the several months long wait, but I wanted to be sure to write something in character for Jackie.

To make reading easier: the italics are charcaters thoughts. First half is from Jackie's 3rd pow and second half (from smut onwards) reader's 3rd pov.

Enjoy everyone!

When you joined the Yellowjackets soccer team, you didn't expect to fall heads over heels with its capitan, Jackie Taylor.

It was a rainy November afternoon when you joined. You had seen Jackie walk around school from time to time, but have never interacted with her this close, for all it was worth, you didn't even know she was the soccer team captain. You joined the team some months after your best friend Vanessa did; she had insisted that it was fun and it would build up your confidence. So, you have joined.

Vanessa had talked about your frail character with Jackie before you joined, telling her that you were insecure in your abilities, so, after the coach had tested you, Jackie choosed to assign you the substitute position of right winger. So, you wouldn't have had to play all the time.

Right before you got introduced to the team, Jackie had talked with you. A look of worry was visible in your eyes and Jackie, even if she didn't know you all that well yet, was slightly worried. For you maybe, yes, but also that you could potentially be more of a burden to the team, if you didn't do well enough. After all, Jackie needs to have as many competent people in her team as she can. You need to grow more confident.

So, she had taken you by the arm and led you to a secluded place right outside of the field's entrance. Jackie had looked up at you and smiled kindly, "Well, are you ready to go?". You had felt incredibly scared and apprehensive that day but when you felt Jackie's hand lightly touch yours, trying to get you out of your head, you felt safe, seen.

That was the first instance of your feelings blooming for Jackie. At every game, she did not ever forget to encourage and praise you for your actions. Even when you didn't perform well, you knew Jackie would always be there to make you feel better.

To her surprise, a year after having joined the team, you were almost a completely different person. Confident, strong and willing to stand up for herself and others. Jackie did have to admit that your change was more than welcome. She could never say it out loud, but whenever she saw you in the changing room, her heart skipped a beat. Of course, Jackie had to maintain her reputation at school.

No one, besides her parents and Shauna, knew that Jackie wasn't who others thought she was. Since she was a child, she had felt like she was missing a core part of herself. It was when she met Shauna that everything changed: with her, Jackie had confessed her worries and secrets and in exchange, got the help to finally become her true self. Her parents weren't as supportive as she thought they were going to be. Sometimes, she saw her mothers sending glances in her direction, which she couldn't decipher as worry or disdain; but she didn't care.

In an attempt to finally convey that image she built of herself, upon entering her new school alongside Shauna, she had seduced Jeff, one of the guys she found less ugly. She wasn't able to fully explore herself before jumping hand in hand with him in the relationship.

The first time and only time she and Jeff have had sex, she didn't dare to make him look. Somewhat, she managed to create an excuse to not strip and only get him off. It was a rather boring and disappointing night. But she hadn't left him, in a way Jackie still felt some kind of odd feeling when she was with him. She couldn't tell if it was love.

This is why she couldn't show herself shy when she was near you. She couldn't risk her image, people would talk if they saw her behaving in a flirtatious way towards you, and Jeff would leave. She knew he was probably cheating on her, but as of right now, she couldn't worry less.

Jackie feels her mind slipping out of consciousness time and time again. She can vaguely feel what is happening near her, bodies bumping on her shoulder and light dimming lower and lower until, behind her eyelids, she can only stare back at the darkness.

Shauna wakes her up, and she's not sure she's completely herself at this point. Her body moves before her mind can process what's happening and just mere seconds later, she falls hard to the forest floor. Just as her cheek comes into hard contact with the naked soil, her mind registers what's happening. Jackie looks behind herself to see something that shakes her to the core and will for the years to come. People, her teammates flooding away from the main entrance of the plane, all gushing out like droplets of the leftover alcohol of the red cup she had drank from last night, at their last party.

Jackie struggles to get back to her feet, her legs giving just as she gets up. Shauna is there, she holds her and runs her fingers on her face, tracing over the bruise that has begun to form. She searches for your face among the others and finds you clutching at your left leg, a scar running down your hips.

Jackie's eyes follow as Shauna gets back into the plane and a feeling of dread fills her heart. She knows that if she doesn't help Shauna, her best friend will die. When she enters into the crashed death trap smoke fills her lungs and her vision. She searches for Shauna, finding her fiddling with something behind her shoulders. For a second she considers slapping Shauna, telling her that she's an idiot and taking her back, but when she hears Vanessa's desperate sobs her brain is filled with fear and horror and something akin to bravery. Her hands brace on either side of the seats and summoning a bravery she didn't know she had, along with Shauna, Jackie manages to open a window of opportunity for Van to slip out. Once the fresh air fills her lungs again and her brain is awake, Jackie searches for you.

Misty had hastily put together various bandages that ran down the entirety of your leg, blood already seeping out and darkening the cloth. Jackie can't even register that she has you in a death grip until she feels your chest moving on hers in an attempt to get more air in your lungs.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to- '' her words get cut off as you push into her, already wettering the neck of the blue and yellow jacket she wore. Your throat bobs and tears fall from your eyes ``I, I'm scared". Jackie holds you to her chest, sobs threatening to leave her body, "Me too".

The smell of fire and pine needles filled the air around you, the tall trees shielding your view of the night sky. Hours after the disaster, you were surprised to find yourself enjoying your teammates' jokes near the campfire. You would have expected to feel this happy in another situation, but there you were: laughing in the dark night with the corpses of your old friends already starting to decompose back into the deathtrap. Jackie had insisted on sitting near you along Shauna. She kept to herself, having to maintain that image of her authority. Maybe she could be the one aiding the team to take a stand against nature. But in the aftermath of saving Van she had let her selfishness surge again and had protested against her cleanser being used as a sanitizer. She didn't mean to, the words left her mouth before she could understand the gravity of the situation. This wasn't what she was prepared for, her mind wasn't prepared enough to survive, to see the lifeless bodies of her own friends burn and decompose under her eyes.

Jackie had gotten silent for some time and her mouth had tasted the tears that were threatening to fall, but when she had felt your touch linger on her hand, a feeling of calm panic had washed over her. Your eyes stared into hers, understanding, saying 'I feel you, I understand you' and her heart ached. The fear was still clawing at her heart but she tried to subdue it in favor of quietly looking at you, trying to breathe through the hurt. Unbeknownst to her, Shauna's envious eyes had watched the whole interaction with anger boiling over the surface.

That night, Jackie dreams. She dreams of the last game, the leather of the ball comes into hard contact with the white metal of the goal and bounces back away from her and the other team wins. She dreams of a world where she and Shauna are now in her room, sad and bitter, but not here. Not on a cold night. She dreams of a world where she comes back to Jeff, he comforts her by kissing her cheek and whispering sweet, fake nothings to her. She dreams of him finally admitting he cheated, of a world where after months of sadness and thought, she manages to confess the strange feelings she has whenever you're around. She dreams of your lips touching hers.

If only... if only she didn't score, maybe...maybe...

The morning had come by fast, a pale light shone down from the trees and greeted their painful awakening. Jakcie had fallen asleep the night prior cuddled between you and Shauna. All the team had cuddled closer during the night in an effort to maintain as much heat as possible. The soil was scattered with clothes, remaining junk food leftovers, branches and the mechanical remains of the plane. And when she woke up, Jackie had panicked. As quietly as possible she had begun to hyperventilate, the reality of the situation finally kicking in. In an effort to keep calm, to get comforted, Jackie hides her face into your chest and lets her tears fall freely. In your sleep, you cling onto her and for a split moment, her heart bursts out of her chest. It feels like her rib cage has suddenly tightened on her organs and her body has been set aflame. She couldn't feel like this. She shouldn't. And why with you of all people? Why you, and not Jeff? Why you, and not Shauna? What is in you that makes her poor heartache, even in the most desperates of situations? Nevertheless, Jackie allows herself to feel and falls right back asleep. Reality can wait for some time.

When the bodies had been buried and were beginning to dissolve into the earth, a heavy silence had weighted on the team shoulders. At least they could rest in peace, for the rest though only chaos was waiting. Jackie had never been so scared in her life. So, when Taissa shouted that she had seen a lake nearby, Jacki couldn't believe it. Or, more accurately, she was scared of leaving. What if the rescue team came just as they left? And what if they didn't find them? She couldn't afford to lead her team into another hazard. so, when almost all of the team agrees to go, Jackie feels betrayed. It's stupid and selfish but she does, especially when Shauna raises her hand in favor of leaving. Without too much thrust, Jackie follows. She steps away from Shauna and walks with you, helping you move your leg on the uneven forest floor.

When she spots the shore, a sense of wonder and happiness fills her for the first time in hours. With her help, you manage to speed up to the lake. There, a realization dawns on her. She hadn't told the others that she was 'different'. No one here except Shauna knew. What would they have thought of her? "Aren't you going in?" she heard your voice ask her. "Uh, I- I don't know..." she stammers out. Her eyes widen when she sees you changing out of your dirty clothes "Well, I'm going. Misty had said that the water might cleanse my wound, but she never talked about lake water" Jackie vaguely registered your response while her eyes were still trained on your figure. "I hope there aren't any germs there" you lose the branch that supported your uneven walk in favor of trying to get out of your pants.

"Hey Jackie... I know this is weird to ask, but can you help me out? I can't crouch low enough to pull them off" her heart skips a beat and almost automatically, she starts to undress you out of your pants. She's sure her cheeks are a bit more red than usual. "Ah, thank you. Are you sure you're not coming in?" she doesn't know, she isn't sure. But she so, so wants to be there with you. "Uh yeah just, just let me change and I'll be there".

Jackie's eyes follow as you dip into the water. Vaguely, she can feel her blood flow in her body faster than normal, but she dismisses it. When she nears on the shore, as quickly and as carefully as possible, Jackie strips out of her clothes and watches for any unwanted gaze. When the cold water crashes on her skin, her body begins to cool off and that thirst she felt has been quelled. Now she reaches you and guides you to deeper waters, careful to listen to any signs of discomfort from you.

That's how you spend the rest of the afternoon: splashing each other with water, resting on the rocky shores of the lake and gossipping. The everpresent eye of Shauna watching your every move. When Lottie had spotted something in the distance, everyone had been on the move, hoping to find a new shelter for the night. And they did. The cabin was decrepit. Its roof was slightly slanted, vines and vegetation covered the wooden walls; but it worked. It could work. When she entered, a smell of mold and old plants had hit her nose. She found a can of green beans and when attempting to open it, her hunger preceding the thought that maybe she could have preserved it, she was greeted with the sight of many greenish beans swimming in a gray pool of liquid.

On the other side of the room, some of the girls are checking out one of those old sex magazines. Natalie calls out to you "Hey look, this girl kinda looks like you" and right then and there, Jackie crumbles. "Nah, she doesn't look like me! You have a shitty sight Scatorccio '' the team's eyes all gather to one point in the page, some let out whistles while others comment on it. "So, are you like this gentlelady under your clothes?" Van jokingly teases you "Guess you'll have to discover it yourself". Despite thinking she's above this, Jackie steals a glance as she walks out. And it's true, that woman did look like you, despite some differences. And now, Jackie has to deal with yet another problem.

She feels her body shift without her wanting to and heat spreads through her lower abdomen, begging to be put out. She walks out of the door fast and follows a trail behind the cabin. There, she tries to calm down but to no avail, images of you fill her mind and she feels her shorts tighten. Jackie lets out a grunt of discomfort: the situation wasn't exactly the most comfortable one to 'rub one out'. She looks back at the cabin, it's far but still in view: maybe here she can take care of herself with no prying eyes watching.

Jackie slips out of her shorts and starts to palm at her length. She tries to think about Jeff, about Shauna, even about her celebrity crushes, but nothing works. Everything morphs into you. So, when she finally gives up and allows herself to fall into your image, she finds that her body is already at the brink of release. She feels your hands stroking her skin, the tension releases out of her shoulders and your voice whispers reassurances in her ear. "Let it go" and she falls from her high, her legs give out and the skin meets the hard ground. Her gaze falls to her hand. Oh god, what have I done?

The afternoon lights had started to shine through the trees. After taking care of her little problem, Jackie had come back and sat on the wooden porch at the side of the cabin. This can't be real. It can't, right? Her heart aches far more than she realized. She doesn't belong here. She is angry, sad and terrified. This isn't real.

Regret, both for the plane crash and for what she had just done. Did she really jerk off to a friend in the middle of the forest, right after what happened? God, how could she be so disgusting? So careless? People died and all she could think about was fulfilling her own needs. Like always Jackie, you always have to be the center of attention. You couldn't even let your teammates have a peaceful rest, you just had to think about yourself huh? Can you even feel something, anything for others? Do you have anyone else in your mind except yourself?This just shows the utter scum of a person you really are. You waste.

Back at home, everyone always counted on her. She was the voice of reason, the one person who could bring different people together under one team. She had been the one to create the Yellowjackets, to care for them, to nourish them. She knew she was selfish, selfish and stupid, but she really tried. Jackie didn't mean to be this much of a fucking liability, but she couldn't help it. This place, these people, did they even think of her as an equal? Or did most of them fake their appreciation for her? She didn't mean to be a bother, trying to fix the old music player instead of doing the chores, but she needed desperately to not think. Please, for the love of God, get me out of here.

Days, months have passed and winter starts to tighten its cold hands on the Yellowjackets. All of them know. When winter comes, they might die. Every night, the last breeze of autumn comes knocking on the door in the form of the Grim Reaper, begging to be let in. To join the fun. For how much their determination is worth, nature has a sick way of playing with its prey.

They don't have to think.

That's why Jackie had hosted a seance in summer, to distract them. And that's why she decides to host a Doom Coming. Death is already at the door, so why not having fun in the last few weeks of their lives? And her life is just a mess. Jackie feels as if all of the world's faults weigh down on her shoulders. She's sad, bitter and angry: sad for Laura Lee and her unfair death, bitter at Shauna and Jeff, and angry at the world.

Finally, night has fallen. The sun is lowering down the horizon, the cold air nipping at the skin, but she tried to ignore it. The camp smells of leaves, fire and earth. It's almost calming. Laughs and wind and fire crackling fill her ears. Jackie sits on a log which acts as a stool and closes her eyes.

Right now, when everyone is partying, she allows herself to be vulnerable. In the months following the summer, Jackie had come to care less and less about what others might have thought about her if her secret came to be known. So her facade had finally started to crumble.

Jackie sat on the log, her legs spreading far apart, her back hunched and with her face in her hands. She knew the others would look at her and make fun or feel sorry for her, but right now she didn't care too much. A quiet whine left her body and trickles of tears staining her cheeks. Something moves at her right side and she jumps up to see you holding two makeshift wooden bowls. "Hey, thought of giving you this. You haven't eaten at all".

Maybe she doesn't want to. Maybe Jackie would rather die, her body to be eaten by the people she loved most and then dissolve into the earth, broken apart by nature and scattered like a constellation. "I... I am fine" she mutters into her hands, trying to mask her sobs.

"But you're not Jackie. You're so not fine; don't you think I can see that?" she's taken aback by your teary eyes burning a hole through her heart. You push the tears back in and hand her the warm bowl of soup. "I am scared too, Jackie. We all are. But at least, just before the end...won't you try to be happy?" and you know that asking her this is stupid and pathetic, but you too need to push reality away. And Jackie doesn't have enough strength to deny you. "...You're right", she takes the makeshift wooden spoon and dips it into the brownish soup. She lets the earthy flavors fill her mouth. "This isn't half as bad as I thought it would be'' Jackie smiles as she sets the bowl down. A giggle leaves your lips as you stand up, your legs feel wobbly and your skin starts to feel uncomfortably hot. "Say... you wouldn't want to have... a dance with me, would you?" words slurred, you try to pry Jackie out of her log and she happily complies.

Jackie feels strange. She isn't in total control of her body, her mind is foggy, her body moves slowly and lazily. She looks at you with lovey dovey eyes, as if you are a goddess on earth who came to relieve her of her pain. She doesn't even care that Mari's and Alikah's eyes are on both of you; as of right now Jackie only sees you. But now her mind is playing tricks on her: she sees you on her bed, naked.

"W-what?" and now that discomfort is back again, twirling inside of her stomach. "What is it?" Jackie can only feel her body stiffen once again, swaying 'Uhhh shit'. "I- I, don't worry!" but you insist with that look on your face that she can't resist. "What? What is it? Are you feeling ill?".

Shit!. "N-no I-" it's almost like her brain can't form any coherent thought anymore. Why? Why now?!, you get closer to her, an inch from her ear "Do you need something?" God damn it. "I need to- I need-" Jackie stops dead in her tracks as she feels your leg accidentally pressing on her groin. Shit! No! No, no, no! Why?! What is wrong with you?

You look down to see something puffing under her dress. What the heck was she hiding there?. It takes you a moment to understand what it really is, and when you do, you let out a small 'ohh' of understanding.

"Do you have something to tell me?" and Jackie feels embarrassed: embarrassed, guilty and disgusting. How could she have those kinds of thoughts for a friend? She's no better than Jeff, she's no better than them. "I am so, so, so sorry please, please I' didn't mean to-' ' you cut off Jackie with a shush, take her hand into yours and guide her in the forest.

You lead Jackie through low tree branches and vines, through bushes and dirt until you stumble in a beautiful clearing. Hidden between the thick branches of the pine trees, away from the cabin, the uneven forest floor becomes flat, the trees give away to green grass and moss and flowers. On the way, Jackie had noticed strange scrapes on the trees, like a knife had cut through the bark.

"This is where I come when I'm overwhelmed. I found it while having lost myself after going to get the water. You remember that day I didn't come to the cabin after dark?" Jackie nods, waiting for your voice again "I actually had been walking on circles, some feets away from the cabin I took the wrong turn and ended up in the wrong place, here." From your pocket, you fish out a small cutting knife, an old candle and a couple of matches you had stolen from Dead Guy's stash. "Luckily, I had this with me" you gesture to the knife, "If I hadn't, I'm not sure I could have come back". You let your things fall to the base of a tree, forgotten. "So," you say as you sit down and pat the ground next to you "mind explaining what that was?".

Jackie feels as if her blood had become ice cold; she's terrified, so much so that she's stiff and can't bring herself to sit near you. "Come here" she awkwardly lets herself lay on the ground with her legs tucked under her body and away from you.

"I- I am..." throat closing in on her words, she takes a breath and gathers all the courage she has left in her heart "I wasn't happy once. Before. I didn't realized it once, Shauna helped me understand. Sometimes I faked begin happy just to see the people near me happy. To see my parents happy. But once I started to put my own happiness before, I understood". Jackie feels as if a block of ice got stuck in her throat and it's preventing her from speaking clearly.

"For the time we have left, I will continue begin myself. I- I don't care what others think of me" and maybe that last part was a lie, maybe she does care. Every human need reassurance. But when she says that, she's looking directly into your eyes, with determination. A smile graces your lips and Jackie feels as if she has died for a moment and her soul reached heaven "I understand you" which is far better than any 'okays or 'alright's she has gotten so far. "Y-you do? I thought, I thought you would be... grossed out", silence fills the air and Jackie's breath hitches, waiting for the final blow at her heart. "You could never 'gross me out' Jackie, why did you even thought about that?"

"I really thought that you might-" Jackie's words die engulfed in your arm, her head cradled on you, "You are safe with me". Something in her, a cage, breaks into million shining pieces and lets her heart beat red blood into her flesh. Jackie feels as if the old cruel world broke and left space for a new, shining future, one she shares with you. She weeps into your shoulder, finally understood, happy, euphoric, free from her own self and from the world's expectations.

You let her weep into you for some time, the sky's color changes from the purple and orange evening glow to a light cobalt, the stars already starting to show.

"Now, I want to ask you something else..." your cheeks feel suddenly hotter, thighs closing in on themselves. Jackie listens to you, and you're suddenly very interested on your hands. "That... thing that happened back there... why? Why did it happen while we were dancing?". Ohh shiiit.

Jackie feels sick. A ball of nausea forms in the deepest parts of her stomach and reaches out to her mouth. For a second, she feels like she will throw up. "Oh gosh, I'm so sorry I forgot, I-" and now, emotions and feelings of the past months come crashing down on her heart. And when she parts her lips, it is too late to stop.

"I... like you. I do. I've felt like this for a while now. Back there I don't- I don't know why I felt like that and why it happened, but t-that's not like me at all! I- I am-" but the silence that follows is enough for Jackie to stop. Right then and there, she knows she has lost you. "I should probably go..." she says to you; Jackie's muscles move to follow her torso but your arms hug her shoulders before she can escape you. For a moment she's confused and almost thinks an animal might have tackled her to the ground, but when she feels your touch on her cheeks, peace fills her heart. You lightly trace her small skin marks under her eyes and lean down to kiss her. In her eyes billions of stars shine and in her heart, billions of stars explode. Her body is lighter, almost made of condensed air. It almost feels like a sin when she touches your hand: like if her fingertips could dirty the beautiful soul in front of her. "I want you too" you say to her, a whisper. Now she truly is gone.

Jackie kisses you back with a passion you didn't know she had in her. Everything is forgotten: the dirt of the soil, the rotten cabin, the looks of the others, the touches of Jeff, the desire for Shauna, the desire to run from the world. Here and now, Jackie is at peace. Finally at peace, after months of hardship. Her heart beats and her blood runs, and she's happy. So, so very happy.

When you leave the kiss, Jackie feels lightheaded. A dark feeling inside of her screams to stay, to take, to devour. She takes you right back into her arms, clinging to you so hard that you're sure your bones will snap. The kiss becomes raw, hungry and dangerous; all lips and tongue and teeth. Her hand cradles the back of your head and with the free hand, she claws at your shirt. There is a feeling blooming inside her groin and stomach; she wants to devour and be devoured. You get rid of your clothes and discard them aside. Now Jackie can see you in all your beauty, skin shaded by the blue evening night.

It's getting dark.

"Maybe, maybe we shouldn't..." Jackie whispers in your mouth but makes no effort to stop. Your hands find her soft skin, you cradle her head upwards facing you, "Let morning come". Your hands find Jackie's skin underneath her dress and her breath stops, she tries to gulp down air in her lungs but they feel tight. Your hands are just so soft and she feels so good, so right here with you. For the first time in a while, she doesn't have to be in charge of anything. For the first time, she can be her whole, broken self without needing to be something she's not. With a trembling voice, Jackie asks you to help her out of her dress. The cold air hits Jackie all at once, making her shiver but she is too caught up in you to care. As soon as the dress is off her hands are already on your skin, touching wherever they could. "I- I want to..." but she couldn't find in herself the strength to say what she wanted, needed to do. Instead, Jackie decided to crash her lips into yours again and rest her hand on your back, atop the clasps of your bra, a silent request. The dizziness of before had almost worn off by the time you were bare before her. A breathy sigh left Jackie's lips "Wowza...", you couldn't help but let out a giggle "Really? 'Wowza'?".

"What?! I couldn't help it..." her words trail off when her gaze falls to your chest. Fingers come down on you, caressing and touching and groping at every inch of skin she finds. She props you up on her lap, trying to relive the pain of her hardness starting to show. It's almost embarrassing how desperate she is, her cheeks are flushed red, her eyes unfocused and watery. Jackie's lips circle your nipple, biting and licking and sucking and tugging at your skin. Jackie's length gets harder and hard by the minute, for every time her name falls off your lips. All the uncomfortable and guilt has gone, leaving behind something dark and primal. She starts to hump on your ass while continuing to suck on you. "Oh, I see someone is eager" and all that confidence she had goes right out of the window, her sober self comes out more embarrassed than before "Oh- gosh I'm-I am sor-" but she is shut down by your grinding down on her. "Who said you could lead tonight?".

Oh shit I'm so into this.

"N-no one..." her voice came out shaking with excitement, the prospect of the night and all the scenarios playing out in her head.

"That's right, you deserve a break" not as sexy as she would have wanted, but this is fine too. More than fine. She was tired of feigning leadership. Your hands fiddle with the waistband of her underwear, feeling around the skin of her waist. This feels like a torture to Jackie. "Please, I-..." she meets your hands and tries to grind into you. As teasing as ever, your touch skims right on her thighs, squeezing and stroking her skin. "Tsk, I thought you wanted to be taken care of. Maybe I should stop?".

"N-no! No, please I will be good I promise". Jackie settles back against the earth, her puppy eyes looking up at you with the fear that you won't touch her anymore. "That's what I wanted to hear". Finally your fingers dip under her waistband and pull, freeing her after what felt like an eternity. Now, the both of you are bare against each other. "What do you want me to do, Jackie?" after some thought, Jackie says, "I... I want to taste you... Please....".

Now you take her place, laying down on the earth. Jackie watches you with adoration while her fingers start to travel downwards. Her fingers part your legs and she kisses the skin of your thighs, just mere inches away from where you need her the most. You whisper her name, wanting her to get on with it, to please you. At that, Jackie dips into you. After months of desire, it feels like heaven on earth. Her fingers tease your clit, circling it multiple times before moving down. But you're not prepared enough for the intrusion. So, Jackie starts to suck on you. She's so attentive and shy it makes you want to cry. You ground on her face and hear her letting out a whimper, she's getting pleasure from this too. When you are wet enough, Jackie's ring finger teases your opening and enters. You have already done this before, but it pales in comparison on how Jackie is making you feel. Almost like a shock running through your body and a wildfire spreading in your limbs. And you are sure that if Jackie continues, you will combust on the spot. Finger flicking your nipples, tongue occasionally joins her fingers to lick up your slit, eyes always fixated on your face twisted in pleasure. You look under her to see her free hand stroking her length quickly, white wetness dripping from it. "I- I am about to..." but your words die in your throat. When Jackie comes up again, the lower part of her face is covered in your release, she's still stroking herself. "Please, please I need it, I need it" she continued as she came closer to you. "What do you need Jackie?" she whimpers, desperately humping into her hand "y-you please. Your... mouth".

You smile at her, reaching to tease her length but just a few movements of your hand are enough to send her over the edge. Jackie gasps when she comes undone, her hands tightening over your shoulder. "O-Oh God I, I usually last way more than this..." you snort at her, "Hm? Way more?". Her brows are furrowed, cheeks red with embarrassment "...ok, a bit more". You decide to stop teasing her and reach down, sucking the last drops of her release. Her moans encourage you to get on top of her, legs straddling her hips on both sides. Slowly, you began grinding down on her.

"Oh... I like this'' Jackie moans in your mouth, hands exploring every inch of your skin. After what feels like an eternity, you line up Jackie's lengt with your slit, sliding it from under you on purpose and meeting her hips. "Please... stop teasing..." she lets out a grunt, her hands rest steady on your hips and she begins to drag you down on her. You like this double sided version of Jackie. All her dominance goes straight out of the window when she enters you. It takes an unholy amount of strength for Jackie to not start pounding in you, and to keep herself from coming too fast. She pants as if she's shoulder deep inside a pool of cold water, shaky. It's the first time she has reacted this way to having sex. Usually, she could keep a cool, passionate demeanor but she's so excited to do this with you. It feels different from any other casual sex encounters she had.

You still above her. She has reached the deepest point she could, cuddled between dark and hot and wet. It feels too much to you and you rest your head on her shoulders, trying to catch your breath. She is so delicate with you, whispering sweet encouragements on how -"you take me so well", "You can do it" and "I like you so, so much"-. You're the one that starts to move, surprising Jackie who was still in the middle of her praise. Her breath hitches when she feels you move on her, slowly and methodically taking her to the tip and all the way back. This is perfect.

You rest your hands on her shoulder and hers rest on your hips, guiding you back and forth on her. The grip is tight enough that you can feel your skin bruise under her touch. "Fas-faster please..." you try to comply, bouncing on her faster than before, but your legs feel wobbly and uncertain. When she sees that you can't go any faster, Jackie trusts up into you and meets your hips with force, bouncing you up and down. "I-I'm sorry I' can't go slower..." it feels so good you can't really complain about it. Now you have regained enough strength to meet Jackie halfway, both of you lost in a frenzy of pleasure. She's loud, almost yelling and in the back of your mind, you are terrified someone might come and take a look, but another part of you is thrilled at the prospect of begin found out. You are a bit shocked when Jackie's hand comes down on your ass, but you don't complain. If someone walked past you, they would immediately understand what was happening.

The only sounds that can be heard in the forest are your whimpers, moans, the slapping of skin, wind and chirping and, a little farther, yelling and rabid howls of creatures that resemble humans. But that is not important right now. Your minds are too lost in pleasure to think that, in the dark corners of the night, something could wait for the chance to pounce on you.

Jackie starts to move faster than you can keep up. She moves so you lay your back against the dirt and face her. She brings your leg up and opens the space between your thighs more, allowing herself easier access. She begins to pound into you, faster and harder and sloppier than before. She has no rhythm left, no care, only pleasure and the need to relieve both herself and you in her mind. She grabs your leg hard, not letting go in fear that if she does, you might vanish into thin air. "I am close, I am gonna-" she doesn't want to cum, not right now: this moment should last forever. But she can't hold herself back anymore.

From the dark, a pair of brown eyes had spied on the both of you. Shauna was hungry and her hunger was so grand that it made her vision, her brain and the world around her blurry. She was chasing Travis, along the others but had been left behind when she heard sounds coming from behind some bushes. Her mouth had watered thinking it could be an animal but she got let down when she realized the sounds were coming from you. Her initial shock had been replaced by annoyance. She had so hoped to get something beneath her teeth, but to no avail. Then, hate had bubbled its way through her veins and into her heart. She hated you at that moment. The both of you. Shauna couldn't understand if she wanted to be with Jackie or in between you two. Sure, she thought of Jackie before, during the night hours but she hadn't dared to make the first move. And then, when Jackie had gotten with Jeff, she was hellbent on having all of her. She did realize that there was something sparking between the two of you after the first few games, but she kept quiet. She imagined herself, between bodies. Skin and sweat and kisses. She thought of taking Jackie's while kissing you, of guiding your head down, of bending Jackie over and-. Her stomach growled. It was loud enough she could clearly hear it, but not enough for you two to get suspicious of anything. That fantasy of hers would never happen. She retreated back into the dark.

Jackie is moving fast against you, hips slapping repeatedly up on yours and hands reaching every little bit of skin she can. From deep inside her groin, she feels something snap. She's not gentle with you anymore. Something raw and angry has taken control over her brain. Jackie slipped out of you and snuck behind, her arm lifting up your leg before entering once again. In this position she can reach deeper and move faster. She's being too hard on you. A scowl appears on her face when you try to slow her down by slipping from her grasp, "You- you will, you will stay here a-and take-" growling, her fingers grip at your flesh again, harder this time.

A knot snaps inside your guts and without managing to yell a warning, you release on Jackie's. She feels you dripping down on her. Your coming prompts her to do the same: Jackie gives a final long and hard thrust and leaves you empty, releasing on the soil.

She falls on top of you, spent "O-oh wowza. That... that felt amazing". You laugh at her "Again, 'wowza'?! It's not sexy Jackie" she mumbled something back at you and then hid her face in the crook of your neck. You're silent, now left with the remnants of your lovemaking and the constant presence of death looming over you. A faint trace of cold is coming out of the earth and down on you. "What do we do now?" she asks, embracing and shivering against you "Did- did we do something bad? What's gonna happen now? We will all still die-" her voice hitches. She's crying: tears fall down your skin as she nuzzles on it. You take her hand, tracing patterns on it, "We will manage".

Days later, when Jackie finally confronts Shauna, secrets get spilled. Of affairs, of grudges that lasted years, even of your lovemaking with Jackie. She had stormed out of the cabin: just like she feared, everyone had turned on her. Jackie watches the fire, cold seeping in her bones and her mind getting groggy. Shauna walks to Jackie, hand embracing her best friend's back. "Come inside" you say, your features and voice replacing Shauna's. In the back of her mind Jackie wants to preserve her dignity: walking back into the house would mean to admit that she had lost the argument; but staying out here could kill her. Jackie follows you, gripping at your arm tightly. Everyone is asleep; you lead her to rest on one open spot near the fire, finally hugging her cold body to yours. "Rest easy" and she doesn't need to be told twice, falling asleep right away in your arms. Next morning, it was snowing.

[b1adie]

ADRIENE ANGELVIRUS xxiv × mirror pronouns × aro lesbo

… or just adriene, or adri…

this is a sideblog, main is a secret ^_^

uid: 604304306 (north america)

SOME RULES;

please don’t send me fetish content, especially if you are on anon, a minor, or have no age listed. tbh don’t send me any nsfw unless you’re an adult and i’ve asked

i would appreciate if you could avoid tagging my posts with anything like ‘daddy/mommy’ even in a joking way, unless you are using it only as a parental term. keep in mind that i’m a real guy and have to see all of your tags…

don’t comment sinophobic stuff on my posts (ie. “they’ll never make a gay relationship canon because its a chinese game” etc). don’t do any bigoted stuff really but thats the one i’ve mainly seen

if you want to repost some of my stuff, if it’s just a text post edited onto a pic, credit isn’t required (but still appreciated)! if it’s anything more complex, please do credit me, preferably with a link back to the original post. i spend way longer on my silly little edits than you’d expect.

you’re welcome to dm me, but please keep in mind that we start off as strangers, so something you think is funny could be misconstrued as rude or confusing on my end. tone indicators are absolutely fine to use if you’d like. conversely, feel free to ask me for clarification on anything you need, i don’t mind! i know i can be hard to read sometimes.

i’d also prefer you have an age (or at least age range or indicator like minor, 20+, etc) listed if you dm me, but obviously you don’t need to tell anyone anything. that’s just for my own personal comfort. i’m fine being friends with anyone, but a friendship with a high schooler would look a lot different than a friendship with someone around my own age.

if you make/find any art or content about worm theory you have to show it to me asap

FAQ;

(something about genshin impact or wuthering waves or zenless zone zero)

please send that to my genshin blog or my wuthering waves blog OR my zenless zone zero blog instead! (@nabumalikata + @threnodian + @nicoledemaras)

(any lore question)

if i know it i’ll go find the source for you. if i don’t know, you can ask anyway and there’s a good chance i’ll go hunt down some answers for you. i love lore. i know everything

how do you make your (edits/gifs/etc)?

for silly edits usually just picsart, but procreate for the more intense ones. gifs i use a yt downloader site, then capcut to edit, then ezgif. videos either splice or capcut. glitters i made a tutorial here, but like, my method is really complicated since i’m always on my phone, so there’s probably an easier way if you have a pc…

can you make a gif/edit/glitter of this?

probably! be specific with what you want— send me pictures or direct links if you can. requests are always open, just keep in mind i may not do every single one i get (but i do tend to do them all eventually).

why didn’t you answer my ask yet?

sometimes i see an ask pop up in my activity feed so i answer it right away. otherwise it has to wait til i decide to open my inbox. if it’s an ask that requires some time, like asking about lore or builds or opinions, it’ll probably take me longer to get to. i’m a busy guy, i work 13 hour shifts irl and have chronic hand tendonitis which makes typing hard. ofc if you’re worried tumblr ate your ask, you’re fine to send another, just please don’t be rude or pushy about it, i promise i’ll get around to it ^^;

(worm theory) actually the noblesse worm died because it had so much knowledge so ratio cant be—

he’s a new worm. aha’s second worm. and, the first worm didnt die because it had too much knowledge, it died because aha took its power away.

do you ship (xyz) / how do you feel about (ship)?

probably sure + fine. i can pretty much get behind anything, i’m a multishipper, fine with poly and switching and whatever. the exceptions are child x adult and shipping family members in a romantic or sexual way. 👎.

this thing you said was incorrect!

woops! it happens. bring a source if you’re gonna correct me though— not cuz i don’t believe you, but because i love being right and need to be right next time. if this is about a theory, though, well… sometimes theories dont turn out right. its not MY fault hsr wasn’t cool enough to make Something Unto Death the corrupted remnant of Mikhail’s soul. whatever… my theory is just better than canon

you tagged a post with (character) but they’re not in it!

ah man. i mass tagged everything and am gradually going back and fixing it… send me a link to the post and i’ll edit it!

i’ll add more as i think of it…

[cherik-bingo]

Cherik Bingo Information/FAQ

What is a bingo?

A bingo is a fandom event in which upon signing up, you'll be sent a bingo card with prompts to use to create fan content.  These prompts can be interpreted however you’d like, but they must be connected to whatever it is you create.

What types of fan content is permitted in the Cherik Bingo?

Anything at all, so long as it is centered around Cherik!  Writing, artwork, edits, videos, crafts, moodboards, music, literally whatever you’d like!  Be creative!

Is there a minimum amount of works I need to create?

Nope!  You aren’t required to get a bingo or fill out your whole card or even make anything at all if you don’t want to.  It’s all about having fun and celebrating the wonderful ship that is Cherik.

How long do I have to submit my fills?

You can submit your fills from the time you get your card through July 31, 2023.  No fills will be counted after that point.

How long will it take before I receive my card?

It could take anywhere from a few hours to a few days depending on how busy I am.  If a week has passed after you’ve signed up and you still haven’t received a card, please dm me on tumblr or reach out over discord, and I will make sure to help you out.

Can I request a second card?

If you fill up your whole card, you can request another, but if the first card is not filled, no second card will be given.

Can I use multiple squares for one fill?

No, sorry. While you can create something that adheres to multiple prompts, each singular work (or singular chapter if it's a longer fic) can only count for one prompt.

Can I crosspost with other events?

Absolutely, so long as the other event allows it too.

Can I collaborate with others?

Of course! Just make sure everyone is credited properly!

Can I trade or replace my squares?

I will not be replacing squares on anyone's card after they are sent out, but there is an option to swap squares with other participants, and there will also be a set of prompts each month that can be used to replace any square on a card (but only one square can be replaced by a monthly prompt each month).

Can I submit works I’ve posted prior to this event?

The goal of this event is to add to the existing library of Cherik fanwork, so this event will only be accepting new works.

Are there rules about creating dark or NSFW content?

Create whatever you want! Just make sure everything is tagged properly, so that people looking to avoid certain content are able to!

Where do I submit my fills once I’ve made them?

Fill out the fill submission form here! This way, I can make sure you are able to receive any badges you've earned!

You can also submit to our Ao3 collection, though this is not mandatory.

What are those badges you mentioned?

There are four badges that can be earned.

- Completed a square

- Got a bingo

- Blacked out whole card

- Used a monthly prompt every month

I may give them titles at some point, but I haven't yet.

This all sounds great!  How do I sign up?

Fill out the sign up form here!

Is there a place where I can chat with others involved in the Cherik Bingo?

If you’re interested, you can join the Cherik Bingo Discord server.  You aren’t required to sign up for the bingo to join; it’s open to any and all Cherik fans!

I have another question that wasn’t mentioned here.

Send an ask!  I’m happy to answer any and all questions!

[saltyunordinaryprincess]

Updated: 6/11/2024

·͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙

𝕎𝕖𝕝𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕞𝕪 𝕄𝕦𝕝𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕦𝕤𝕖 𝔹𝕝𝕠𝕘:

☆☆ Status: [x]open []closed [x]send a message ☆☆

☆☆ RP Apps: [x]Tumblr [x]Discord ☆☆

Blog is run by a friendly she/her named Paws.

Mun 15+ years RP experience; Tumblr & Discord

Mun and Muses 21+

Mutuals only... we can chat first to make sure we vibe

Non-exclusive

OUAT canon, canon-divergent, and AU friendly

Open, Semi-selective, and accepting starters

Prompts, memes, and plotting available

I have fully typed out character descriptions with details, backgrounds, facts, figures, etc for each character I write for. However, profile editing is a weakness and creating extra pages is kryptonite. More detailed character outlines are available upon request. But below are the basics. Please don't hesitate to ask for the bigger details. I can send a Google Doc link, or a screenshot. 🫶

No⍵... lᥱ𝚝's ɱᥱᥱ𝚝 𝚝իᥱ ɱᴜsᥱs bᥱիiղd 𝚝իᥱ ɱᴜղ sիαll ⍵ᥱ...

》》People are gonna tell you who you are your whole life. You just gotta punch back and say, “No, this is who I am”.《《

An independent Once Upon A Time Emma Swan RP blog

Main ship CaptainSwan (Emma x Killian) but willing to play around with other pairings but they must be discussed ahead of time. No SwånQuəən. Friendenmies/friends/coparents is most welcome. No SwånFirə. But friends/former lovers/coparents is ok.

Friendships/familiarity always accepted

༯☸✿♕༯☸✿♕༯☸✿♕༯☸✿♕༯☸✿♕༯

》》That's the feeling. Not mattering to anyone. That's the coming-untied-from-the-world feeling.《

An independent Once Upon A Time Alice Jones/Tilly Rogers RP

Main ship is CuriousArcher/MadArcher (Alice x Robyn Hood II). Discuss any potential other ships beforehand.

Friendships/familiarity always accepted. Alice loves to make friends. And her Papa is very special. Rumplestiltskin is also not only mentor and dear friend but like a sudo second papa.

I have also dabbled in cursed!Tilly and young Alice (tower age) as well.

⋆｡˚𖦹 ☆🂲♡🃍◇🂶♧🂲♤🃍☆🃍♤🂲♧🂶◇🃍♡🂲☆ 𖦹˚｡⋆

》》We can be happy in the future or we can be angry about the past.《《

An independent Once Upon A Time Maleficent RP blog

Ship DragonQueen (Maleficent x Regina Mills)

Friendships/familiarity always accepted; always down for a reconciliation with Lilly or a nice groveling from Snow White.

Maleficent is my newest muse addition and still sanding down the edges.

☾𖤓☆☾𖤓☆☾𖤓☆☾𖤓☆☾𖤓☆☾𖤓☆☾𖤓☆☾𖤓☆

...αղd 𝚝իα𝚝 ⍵αs 𝚝իᥱ ɱᴜsᥱs!

Seriously, just send me a message and we can talk something out. Mun is probably just as awkward and shy.

Follow-backs from @pawshapedheart

If you are interested in roleplaying on Discord; have an active server or more 1-on-1, send a message for my Discord information.

So send me a message and let's talk! 🦢🐰🐉

·͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙

𝓙𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓪 𝓯𝓮𝔀 𝓡𝓟 𝓻𝓮𝓵𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮𝓼 𝓫𝓮𝓵𝓸𝔀 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓬𝓾𝓽...

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

If you are not one of the involved parties, please do not just jump into the roleplay without reaching out first. All my threads will automatically be tagged with [closed] unless previously discussed with my partner(s). These are public for others to read like stories not for others to join unless specifically stated [open to others]

On that same note, if you are not in the roleplay, please do not reblog. You can like ❤️ and you can send us DMs like comments, but please do not reblog. It confuses the notification system and we may miss a reply.

Please do not ghost me. If you are no longer interested in roleplaying with me, please just send a quick DM. If you are going away on a sabbatical from Tumblr for an unknown time, family vacation, change in work/school schedule or you just don't want to Roleplay anymore, I beseech you to please just send a quick DM. I will not make a fuss. I've been ghosted by partners before and it's disheartening to be in the middle of a planned plot and just.... stop. Dead air. Airwaves down. Please just DM me.

On a similar note, if we are in the middle of a roleplay and you lose interest in that particular one, or you want to take a break and start another, same application. Just DM me. I rather stop a thread and start a new one then force someone to bs their way unhappily and have the quality go down.

Life happens, if I don't reply to a thread in like 3 days, please feel free to DM me. There is a good chance I either missed the notification, totally forgot Tumblr existed, or completely forgot to mention I was going away for a couple days. I won't be mad if you remind me. I'll do the same for you if you want.

Literacy is important but mistakes do happen. I promise to do my best to proof read and edit my replies if you do the same. But again, this is fun. I'm not looking to win a Pulitzer here.

I do not mind having more then one thread with the same character and/or partner. As long as we can both keep up, the more the merrier. Thus the reason I have my own comicated tagging system (listed below)

Same not, non-exclusive and will thread with multiples of the same character. We'll try to keep it organized and seperate.

The reason for wanting to walk before just threading is because if we don't vibe as muns, we probably won't as muses. Doesn't mean we need to be beasties, I just want us to be comfortable being able to talk because if something comes up in the thread... we need to be able to talk.

NSFW 🔞 must be discussed ahead of time and both parties consent. 100% ok with any details being moved to DM and keeping the public to behind-closed-doors.

I do my best to try to match my partners length for length in replies. But at the same time, I prefer quality over quantity. We can always discuss type of replies (Para, chat-style, short and sweet, etc) before each roleplay. I used to write creative stories/fanfiction so sometimes I can get overboard with descriptions. Feel free to poke me and tell me to tone it down if my replies are outrageous and you can't keep up.

If a thread starts from an ask (ie: meme or prompt) I will most likely transfer it to a text post with a title and a link to the original ask for organization and the easy ability to "remove old replies" to shrink the length of the post.

Have fun! This is a hobby. A game. A form of therapy. Stress release. Self care. Self expression. This is not homework, a career, an obligation. We're all here to have fun. So let's have some fun!

Roleplays, or threads, will have names [title] to keep things a bit more organized.

Less for you, more for my own brain box organization. But an if curious...

Do not feel obligated to tag your replies in the same manner. I don't care if you don't tag at all. This is just for my organization and a way to find threads and keep myself organized.

Each muse will have their own tag [muse:name] to separate them for quick identification as I only have one screen name and one icon.

I will tag my partner @Screenname and if you happen to be a multimuse blog I will tag the character(s) involved just to keep things organized [Character(s) Name]. If it's a pairing be it romantic or platonic, I may tag with that name as well [ShipName]

·͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙

[oswlld]

Hi! I just wanted to say that I love your media edits. They’re all so beautifully made, not to mention emotionally engaging. Would you mind my asking what editing software you use, and any tips you may have for somebody looking to get into that kind of editing? Thank you!

hello! thank you for the kind words, they mean a lot 💛

as for editing tips and apps, I have answered some of your questions here and, although this other ask was geared towards one edit, this ask also explains some of my process.  DISCLAIMER: VSCO recently put a lot of free tools within their editing interface behind a paywall, most notably the Grain tool, so look out for that in other apps if you don’t want to pay.

additional advice -

find other edits/gifs/quotes/lyrics that resonate with you and look at them collectively; ask yourself what commonalities do you see in them that you frequently fall into? whether it be coloring, fonts they use, recurring themes [ex: you said there’s an element in my edits that you find emotionally engaging, so I would ask what aspects speaks to you most about them]

if you are specifically insp by an edit, feel free to use their edit as a guide to creating your own edits; part of art making is imitation, it’s very ingrained in the history of art so don’t get too hung up on ‘will they hate me if i copy what they’re doing’; the one thing I would advise, if you do closely copy another person’s edit, is to make sure it still represents your style [ex: i was heavily insp by this edit recently and there are stark similarities between my composition and op’s but at the end of the day, there’s still choices that makes mine mine and theirs theirs; same with this and this]

and if you do specifically want to call out the insp work, make sure to link the orig edit/gifset back to the op

don’t get too discouraged off the bat; you are just starting, which means you have some idea of what you want your style to be, but editing is a fluid process. My style has changed maybe 3-4 times. it can feel frustrating because either youre not happy how something turned out or the quotes/lyrics don’t fit perfectly, or maybe the quality of the image is low, so your edits look weaker against the rest of the set- these are common struggles, even for a lot of us making content these days

you can make something you don’t like and choose not to post it, just never think for a second that it was a waste of your time; each time you spend making something is worthwhile if it means you make something else you like again later

NOTES DON’T MATTER; NONE OF THAT MATTERS

don’t rely on p*nterest/g**gle images, when unsplash is your friend

if you have questions about how to use the apps in particular, you can DM me and I can try to walk you through some of it. that goes for anyone reading this and also wants to give it a try.

oh! Lastly, pls pls have fun with this! i find a lot of enjoyment pouring my enthusiasm for a show into an edit, so never spend time making if it doesn’t stem from a place of catharsis. does that make sense?

anyways, happy editing!

[bodycountgame]

It’s been exactly 100 days since I first posted on this blog, I just hit a very cool follower milestone and I’m ready to fuckin party!

Working on Body Count has been a real whirlwind experience, and I’ve been having a really great time with it. The support that you lot have given me here has been so lovely, and I’m basically just absolutely jazzed that anyone is enjoying my little story. Basically, hi, thanks for being here 🖤

Anyway, I am a total dweeb so I’m feeling celebratory and decided to host a lil giveaway: 

There will be four winners, with four prizes up for grabs: 

A full body portrait of your MC & a fave RO by the amazing @isabeladraws​! Check out examples of her previous artwork here. 

A ship edit of your MC & a fave RO by the brilliant @wywrds​! Check out examples of their previous edits here. 

The ability to select a new background option for MCs everywhere. Don’t want your MC to have studied one of the existing subjects? Pick a new one (within reason - I’ll be keeping veto power over anything outlandish or game-breaking), and I’ll write it in! 

A snippety drabble, customised for your MC and from a prompt of your choosing (within the ballpark of 500 - 1000 words). 

To enter, just make sure you’re following @bodycountgame​ and that you reblog this post! You get one entry per person, but new followers are totally welcome.

Entries will close at 5pm BST on Monday 2nd August. 

I’ll be using a random number generator to draw winners. Whoever is drawn first will get their pick of 4 prizes, who ever is picked second will get a choice from 3, etc etc. 

Please make sure your DMs are on so that I can contact you! No contact, no prize (duh).

So help me god, if anyone under 18 enters this giveaway then I will give you the sternest talking to of your lives (and you also won’t win anything, because Body Count is an 18+ game).

This is just supposed to be a cute fun lil thing to say thanks for being here so please don’t make it weird or get all intense about it hahaha 

Demo | Patreon |  Ko-Fi

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

Part Three. Ex-boyfriends and Mr. MoneyBags

warnings: ex-boyfriend is a dick, mentions of emotional and mental abuse, swearing word count: 933 (not including pictures)

behind the screen (irl dream x reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

edit: omg the dates on the dms between dream and yn are SO wrong just don't look at them lol

edit 2: added another photo for Karl/yn conversation two days after posting bc I forgot it

**********

.

A wave of discomfort washed over Y/n as it alway did when talking about her ex-boyfriend. It gave her an ominously unsettling feeling in her stomach that she was not fond of. She shook her head and pretended like she couldn't hear his voice in the back of her head as she fixed her hair in the mirror. Healing, she reminded herself. Not perfect, but healing.

"Y/n?" Naomi called through the house.

"In my room!"

Naomi appeared moments later at Y/n's door. "Hey, I'm getting food, do you want anything?"

"I'm okay, thanks."

"Oh, hey, I watched Karl's stream from a few days ago earlier. You were so good."

"Thanks," Y/n thanked as she sat back down, forgetting all the disgust she felt moments ago from thinking about her past. Naomi sat on the corner of the bed. "Could you tell I was nervous?"

"Not at all. You were so funny. And George is so sweet. If only I had a friend who could set me up on a date with him..."

"Naomi!" Y/n laughed. "I've never even met him in person, how would you go on a date? Fly to England?"

"Yeah. He and I could work all those details out if you gave me his number."

"He'd fly here just to kill me if I gave anyone his number."

"Fine," she sighed jokingly. "Are you still going to Karl's later?"

"Tomorrow."

"Oh. Well.... I'm hungry soooo I'm going to go get something to eat."

"Drive safe," Y/n ordered as she turned back to her computer and Naomi left the room.

"I will. Love you!"

As Y/n looked back at her computer to figure out something to cure her boredom, her phone lit up with a DM from Twitter.

She giggled to herself as she set her phone down and opened up Minecraft. She had nothing to do all day so she decided to start a stream, titling it "chill minecraft?? if any mobs ruin the chill ill actually cry??"

Y/n laughed to herself even though she knew it wasn't that funny. She didn't even bother to start with her usual "starting soon" screen, jumping right into playing.

"Hello, hello everyone," Y/n greeted vaguely as she opened the survival world she usually streamed. She had made decent progress on it, but it hadn't been long since she started it. "Hello. I'm super bored so I figured I'd stream and we can all just hang out and chill out. Is the music too loud? Can you hear it? Everyone type yes if it's good..." she paused as she waited for responses and adjusted the volume of the music accordingly.

She tried to not think about how much larger her viewer count was than usual, figuring it was probably mostly because she had been on Karl's stream not long before.

"Welcome, if you're new! Sorry if you don't find house building exciting, usually I do a lot more chaotic things but I'm determined to get my base done today. I can't keep coming home to a dirt shack."

Her chat started spamming one thing, making her roll her eyes slightly, a smile on her lips.

user3: DREAM HELLO

user6: Dream's here!!!!!

user7: DREAM

Y/n couldn't help but see the few negative comments that passed, calling her a clout chaser.

"Judging by everyone saying Dream's here, I assume Dream's here?" she said with a laugh as she continued collecting dark oak wood and making sure to replant the saplings. "Hello, sir."

user10: are they finally actually friends??? not just Twitter friends????

user16: Dream just lingering we see you sir

"Chat, should I make my real home first or the treehouse? I'm thinking the treehouse but I don't really have an idea for how to do it yet."

user1: TREEHOUSE

user2: treehouse treehouse treehouse

user4: do a cottage!!

user6: treehouse but make it on multiple trees and connect them with bridges

user11: it's so funny seeing bugsy just peacefully building bc usually I only catch her chaos streams

"Okay okay overwhelming amount of treehouse answers," she breathed out with a laugh as she looked around the forest for a good tree. "Thanks sarahnotfound for the ten gifted subs!"

A donation lit up in the corner of her screen and she read it out loud. "Face reveal when? Thank you, Jasmine, um..." she paused, thinking. "I don't know. I do want to eventually but I have no plans to or anything. I'm not ready to right now so it'll still be a while before I do a face reveal."

Donations and gifted subs continued, Y/n expressing her gratitude for each one of them. She had the base down for her treehouse as a large one came through.

"Dream!" she yelled angrily, a laugh bubbling behind it before sighing. "Thank you Dream." She looked away from the amount and read his message, which read, save some of that building for the smp. "DREAM! Why would you give me– ohmygosh. Is this your way of announcing to everyone that I'm joining the SMP? By giving me $100? I can't stand you." Her words were no threat since you could clearly hear the smile in her tone.

She glanced at chat before talking again and continuing her house. "Yeah, yeah, everyone, I'm joining the Dream SMP. But considering I'm fantastic at PVP, I'm not going to be doing much building. Sorry," she said now directed at Dream. "Maybe you can hire me to build something but I don't work for free."

A few minutes passed before a second donation from Dream came through.

yes I did announce it by giving you money and I'll do it again, under another $100 donation

"DREAM, I SWEAR—"

**********

PREVIOUS | NEXT

behind the screen (irl dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

**********

A/N: part 3 pog! lowkey don’t really like the chapter because it’s mostly a filler but i hope you guys do!! i needed to get a lil bit of background about y/n’s ex but we’ll get deeper into it later on!

let me know how y’all like this chapter!! do you prefer parts like this with mostly social media or do you like the previous ones better when there’s a lot more written??

also thank you thank you thank for all your continuous love for this series!! it seriously means so much to me and i love y’all so much lol 

taglist: OPEN (at the time) @hydrate-tion @loraleiix @tinaswagbd @charsdummb @smileyyuta @1ghoste1 @cerberus-hellhound @gaysludge @queestionmark @carnations-red @letsloveimagines @the-fictionwriters-hairdo @boiled-onionrings @a-cryptic @fee-btheweeb​ @letsloveimagines @erwinss @just-a-stan @axths @kayleigh2703 @furiouspockettoad @sometimeseverythingsucks​ @powerpuffyn​ @itshaileyn @millavalntyne

[randomestfandoms-ocs]

Birthday Gift Exchange

I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 22 24 and decided that it was time to do another giveaway!  This time around, however, I’m going to be doing a gift exchange, rather than a traditional giveaway

(inspired by @ocfairygodmother who started this trend, I’m obsessed!)

When I start posting them, the tag will be #birthday exchange 2022 and #randomestgiveaway (will be used for any and all giveaways) so if you don’t want to see them, those are the tags to blacklist.  I will try to start posting gifts as soon as possible, but I can’t make any promises

See previous giveaway gifts here 
 Rules and details are below the cut — make sure to read them as I will be deleting any/all submissions that ignore or break them!

Giveaway Tag: @bravelittleflower @mystic-scripture @ofbadcharacters @kendelias @notxjustxstories @perfectlystiles @guardiansofheroes @foxesandmagic @the-october-reviewer @ocappreciationtag — want to be added? let me know!

Details:


In order to get a gift, you will also need to make something for me — I won’t be posting anyone’s gifts until they’ve posted mine

You need to submit a minimum of three ocs (maximum of five) and I’ll make something for whichever one inspires me the most! (if you don’t have that many ocs that’s totally fine, just shoot me an ask once you submit so that I know!)

Anyone who’s made me a birthday gift (tagged below) is entitled to one free submission (of 3-5 ocs) where you don’t need to make me a gift, and is also welcome to submit a second form so long as you make me something to go with that submission!

Deadline to apply is February 28th

You are more than welcome to make something for any of my ocs (of course feel free to shoot me an ask/dm if you have questions/concerns) but my up-to-date masterlist is here and my current muses are here!

Rules/Restrictions

Any submissions that ignore/break the rules will be deleted — if you have any questions/comments/concerns, feel free to shoot me a message or an ask!

This is an exchange so you will be expected to make a gift for me as well, and I will not post your gift until you’ve posted mine!  I’ve felt used and taken advantage of a lot on tumblr and I’m not setting myself up for the risk of any more of that

Must be following me and must reblog this post (if you queue it that’s fine, but I won’t post the gift until the reblog is up)

Crossovers are only available for my OC Fam, and you can submit 3-5 of those as well (more details on crossovers below!)

This is the list of faceclaims I won’t edit with, thank you for respecting it!

I reserve the right to refuse any requests

The codeword is birthday (to prove that you actually read the rules!)

Deadline to apply is February 28th

Regarding Crossovers

If you choose a crossover, please don’t just say “whoever you want” for my oc – if you aren’t sure which of my ocs to put, please message me or send me an ask before submitting so that we can brainstorm!  My list of crossover limits is here

Crossovers are only available for my OC Fam this time, as my boundaries & limits have been ignored in my past few giveaways

If you want a crossover with a hard or soft no oc, you must talk to me before submitting

People entitled to a free gift (where you don’t need to make me a gift, you’re also very welcome to submit a second form so long as you make me something to go with that submission):

@darth-caillic, @malice1329, @foxesandmagic, @wokenhardies, @lorettastwilight, @perfectlystiles, @jinxsflame, @maddyperiez

(if anyone already posted a birthday gift that I didn‘t include, please DM me because I know my tumblr tags have been wonky and not showing up lately and I would hate to leave anyone out!)

Fill out the form here

[actiniumwrites]

BLOG RULES/ DNI

these rules are in place for both the safety and comfort of me and my followers. if you choose not to follow any of these rules, know that you will likely be blocked.

DO NOT INTERACT:

standard dni rules, pro shipper, ship kaeluc, are only here to hate, etc.

adding onto the previous one since some people get confused, by my definition: a proshipper is someone who ships anything and everything regardless of if it is legal or not. if you fit this definition or have any ships that fit this definition, do not interact with me.

while i cannot control the ages of the people who interact with me, i would prefer it if those under the age of 15 or over the age of 25 do not interact with me (you can read my stuff, just don’t send asks/ dms)

main rules:

I DON’T TAKE REQUESTS. starting november 12th, 2022, i will no longer be taking requests. any requests i receive will be deleted currently not in effect!

don’t spam like. not only is there the possibility of being shadowbanned, but it also clogs up my notifications and can be really annoying. i personally consider spam liking to be around 5+ posts

there will always be content warnings on each and every one of my works. whether it’s just fluff or mentions of something potentially triggering, i’ll always have it in the content warnings (just labeled ‘warnings’). if i ever miss something, don’t hesitate to send me an ask and i’ll fix it

do not trauma dump or dm me with your trauma

do not steal my writing, repost it onto other platforms, or translate it.

lastly, don’t ask to be mutuals. i’ll pretty much only be mutuals with people i’m already following or follow as i discover new accounts i like. but even so, i’m not interested in getting close with people on this app because i’m not comfortable with it. liking posts and interacting with one another is fine, but dms and getting personal is a no for me. i don’t mind being tagged!

if you’ve been blocked by me, i don’t mind answering why. just shoot me an ask off anon and i’ll let you know (privately of course). however, most likely, you made me uncomfortable

my ask box rules:

i usually answer any asks

brainrots, random questions, jokes, etc. are welcome!! i love interacting with people, as long as it isn’t super personal or negative !

don’t send requests if i say they’re closed

hate will not be tolerated

as i said previously, don’t trauma dump or send me personal stuff

i’m always open to answering any questions as long as they’re respectful

please don’t discuss ships with me. i’m not a person that’s big on ships and i only have a few characters i actually ship in the game — which is pretty much just eimiko, beigguang, eulamber, and clornavia (idk their ship name)

things i don’t write:

these are a list of characters i write for. i don’t write for anybody not on that list. however, it does get edited as new characters get released or i change my mind, but other than that it doesn’t change much.

nsfw/ suggestive/ smut/ yandere/ sagau/isekai/ mafia au/ idol au

character x character or character x oc

i’ll never write in third or first person. my works will always be in second person.

anything that demonizes a character (examples include: making a character racist, homophobic, a sexual assaulter, any form of abusive, etc). i have indeed come across fics like that and i do not think that is okay in any way, shape, or form.

personalized reader (in other words: no specific race, gender, or personal looks so that this stays blank for anyone to read). all of my works will always be gender neutral readers.

triggering topics such as suicide, self harm, eating disorders, sexual assault, pregnancy, etc.

specific mental disorders or other medical issues. i don't want to accidentally mess up on portraying a specific disorder so i'm just not comfortable writing them. i am okay with things like anxiety though

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Cosmic {1}

Lewis Tan x OFC Jupiter Azari

Warning: Plot, Cursing, Flirting, POV Changes, Fake Social Media Inserts

Words: 4k

Summary: Lewis has been single for three years after a stifling relationship that ended because of his reluctance to make a strong enough commitment. In that time, he’s focused on his career and living his life to the fullest. His goal was to have worthwhile experiences and make lasting connections. He’s got the experiences part down, but he’s never felt any sort of lasting connection until he’d seen your posts. After months of stalking your Instagram, he can’t stop thinking about you and decides to take a chance. Maybe it was time for him to take a chance on something new. 

Note: *Sigh* Another one, I know. *Deeper Sigh*. I apologize for the blurriness in some of the FAKE IG DMs. I’ve been working on this for so long, and finally, I can post a little something for it. Please tell me what you think. I am so excited to hear your thoughts.

Thank you guys so much for reading!!!! If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 😊❤️❤️

***Loosely Edited/ Proofread***

***Interactive***

***Fake IG Post Creations***

-Lewis-

 He’d been single for a long time now. Three years. He’d been in a serious relationship for twice as long, so the math was right to him. There was no lying that he missed some of the advantages of relationships and having someone to journey through life’s ups and downs with. He missed things such as intimate dinner dates, entwining his fingers with someone else’s and relishing the feel of skin against skin, getting to know someone almost as well as he knew himself, and deep, fulfilling conversations. One of the most significant things he missed was companionship.

He knew he was not an unattractive guy. He also knew that being who he was, he could meet people effortlessly have a series of no strings attached romances where his physical needs were minimally satisfied for a short time. That was not a problem, but he’d long realized that was never enough for him. He needed more—a lot more. His busy schedule didn’t help matters at all, either. He was either on a flight every week or going between fight practice, meetings, filming, and a lot more. It took time to nourish a relationship and mold it so it could blossom into something strong and beautiful, time he just didn’t have. It was a simple fact—or so he thought.

 More and more, he’d been feeling as if maybe he could make that time; maybe he could find a way to have the highly sought after satisfying professional life but also that deeply fulfilling personal life. Maybe it was possible without having something or someone fall to the side. He began to think maybe he was ready to address his other needs.

 Groaning, he looked at the clock beside him. Two o’clock. Rolling out of bed, he walked into his bathroom. The day before was a long one; he hadn’t gotten in until nearly three in the morning. This was the first day in several that he’d been able to get more than seven hours of sleep. His body was telling him something. After tackling his hygiene routine, he pulled on a pair of his athletic quick-dry leggings and shorts then made his way to the back of his beach house.

It was another beautiful day in Spain, and he was ready to carpe diem the hell out of it—after he got his jog in. As he ran his standard four miles, his mind wandered to a variety of topics. He ran down his schedule for the next few days, went over his goals for the month, and made mental notes of things he needed to get done for the week. He believed in discipline, and the utmost show of discipline was having some over one’s life. Perhaps it was something he learned from his father as he trained in martial arts, or maybe it was a life lesson he’d picked up after so many years in the industry, both working and associating.

 By the time he plopped down onto the cool sand, almost two hours had passed, and he was sweaty and out of breath. He panted while gaping at the softy rolling waves and the faint sounds of the seagulls. It was a sight to be seen, one he was appreciative of. As he was getting lost in the view, a reminder popped up on his phone.

 *Social Media update*

 Sighing, he opened up his Instagram account and scrolled through his feed. If he didn’t set reminders for himself about social media, he would forget it entirely. He was one of those people who preferred to live life unfiltered and didn’t see a need to blog or vlog every little thing. He liked to share meaningful things. On the other hand, his team made it a priority for him to do more than share meaningful things. Their motto is if you’re not being seen or talked about, your brand and existence are inconsequential.

 So, four times a day, he had reminders set up. The plan was to engage with his fans while showing his personality. His agent’s exact words were; “Show the world what a swoon-worthy guy Lewis Tan is.”

 Just as he clicked over to his drafts, he registered her face. Quickly he tapped back onto his feed and on her recent post. It was an incredibly artistic photo of what could have been the universe, or even the mind’s third eye, or possibly a woman giving birth. It was just that subjective, but it was done in a way that made it seem as if you were looking through a kaleidoscope. He sat there marveling at the first photo, not even realizing there were three more that accompanied it.

 As he swiped through them, his mind was further blown. Each one gave off a psychedelic vibe. When he got to the last one, he found himself sighing out at the sight of her. The caption was,  “Art is subjective; who do you see?” Her face was one that easily held someone captive. Her eyes were impossibly deep and inviting. They drew him in, in a haunting and mysterious way. Even her username was creative as fuck. JupiterFallingToEarth.

 He’d spent weeks following her activity. She posted every day about once a day, sometimes two, and her posts ranged from artistic shots of landscapes, items, herself, and then she also posted products and fashion. It was clear she was a lifestyle blogger, and according to some of her posts, she was probably an influencer of some sort. There was something about her that drew him in from the first post he accidentally came across. That was four months ago.

 Since then, he’d practically stalked her page. The second he got a notification that she’d posted something, he was looking at it soon after. When he saw her stories, they always put a smile on his face. She was effortlessly adorable and sexy at the same time. It was a contradiction but one that you wore well. He didn’t know if he’d turned into one of those guys he’d seen countless times on Instagram. The ones who stalked a woman’s page and liked every single one of her posts and left vague comments under her pictures that could come off as creepy. He feared he had turned into that man.

 His interactions with her hadn’t gone to creepy lengths. He’d liked most of your posts, never commented because gossip was a real thing in his world, but liked other people’s comments under your posts. Sometimes he’d even tune in if you were on lives, and every time he watched, he was always filled with an urge to know you—really. He wondered if you’d even noticed he’d liked your pictures or if you’d gone to his page from curiosity to get lost in his content. One thing was sure; you’d never liked any of his posts. He’d noticed.

 “Get a fucking grip, man.”

 To help him on his way, he dropped his phone in the sand and ran to the waves hoping the water would do the trick. The coldness of the water shocked him, but it was a welcomed shock. Swimming further out to sea, he fought against the tide. Though he was exhausted, and his limbs were damn near numb, he pushed himself for just a little longer.  

 Ten minutes later, he dropped back onto the sand by his belongings while trying to catch his breath. That swim had his adrenaline surging competing with his exhaustion. Grabbing his phone, he went back to his drafts. Rather than posting one of them, he took a few shots of himself as he was dripping wet and all. Deciding on a relaxed-looking one, he prepped it to post. Before he did, though, he added a caption.

With it posted, he hopped to it. After a quick shower, he was off to tackle the day. On the agenda were three meetings for some brands that wanted him to work with them. The first up was a local Spanish sunglass brand, Vosotros. Throughout the meeting, he could tell that the campaign that they wanted to do was centered around bodies. Since the brand translated to the word “you,” their pitch was why not focus on everyone’s best selling feature—their body. It was a bit shallow for him, but the product was nice, and the pay was equally as appealing.

 After signing the contract, he moved to the second meeting. This one was for a couture men’s wear brand, Alma. This one he was familiar with. He’d worn many of their suits. They were comfortable but stylish and made from the best fabrics. He always felt like a million bucks when he wore them. This one was a no-brainer for him, and the compensation was the icing on the cake.

 Right before the third meeting began, he found he was running a little bit empty. The last time he’d had a meal was the night before. Before the meeting started, he pulled out his phone with the intent to figure out what was nearby so he could refuel once the meeting was finished. Once he saw the notifications, he opened up Instagram just to glance at them, but after scrolling through the eight thousand, among them, he found her name. Thinking he’d seen things, he scrolled all the way back to the top to refresh it, then scrolled back down, and sure enough, there it was.

 She’d liked six of his posts back to back. He couldn’t stop the wide grin that spread across his face. It was so broad that anyone would have thought he’d never gotten a like in his life. He spent the next few minutes going through which posts she’d liked. Each one made him smile wider and wider. By the time the prospective employers walked in, he was refueled enough to carry him through the rest of the day.

 ~~~~~~~~~~ 

-Y/N-

You’d finally bit the bullet. After four months of seeing the notifications on every one of your posts that he’d liked it or liked a comment under; it was about time. Right? The truth was you noticed each of them. The first time you got the notification, you almost fell out of your seat. You knew who he was because you’d seen one or two things that he’d been in and always thought he was hot, but of course, it was in passing. After the second notification of his like, you rushed to his page to go through each of his posts and found yourself salivating over every picture.

 After about half an hour, you got snapped back to your senses. The odds of it being him were slim to none. While you knew many celebrities liked to troll social media for their next piece of ass or entertainment, you never got that vibe from him. You deduced it must have been either a fan page or catfish at its best. So what did you do? Ignored it.

 You ignored every notification and did your best to shrug off the basal instinct that had your belly fluttering. In total, you had nearly two hundred posts, and he’d liked each and every one of them. It was a lot of ignoring. Today though, something came over you, and that something had you going to his page to see his new post. You couldn’t do anything else but stare. The truth was your finger slipped to tap the heart, and once you did, you tapped it again to unlike, but you knew once a like went through, you couldn’t take it back. Your only option was to deal with it. You dealt with it by liking five more of his pictures. Go big or go home, right.

 After ten minutes, you were still lamenting over if you should have or shouldn’t have. The internal conflict in you was high, especially when you began to kick yourself for overthinking it. There was no way it was really him. It was impossible. With that in mind, you calmed yourself enough to meet up with your friends. After pressing mute on your notifications, you proceeded to get yourself ready. It had been a good week since you and your friends had gotten the opportunity to hang out due to your busy schedules.

 When you were more than halfway there, your excitement began bubbling. When the four of you got together, it was always a good time. As soon as the Lyft dropped you off at the restaurant, a new construction that all four of you were dying to try, you were more than ready to eat, drink, and laugh. You stood outside for a few moments to admire the chosen exterior décor. It was an intricate mix of modern and seaside charm. It definitely was something different for the neighborhood.

 Walking inside past a line of about twelve or so people, you marveled at the entrance of the restaurant. Whoever designed it truly did a fabulous job. It was featured in the papers as one of the best new restaurants to try out in the downtown area. The way they’d incorporated indoor plants seriously captivated your attention.

“Welcome to Creator, my name is Kenji,” began the host who towered over you by like eight inches and bore green-hazel eyes. He was cute. “Do you have a reservation?” His smile was wide, and it showed off that his two front teeth were bigger than all the others. He made it work, though.

 “Yes. I believe my party is already here. I’m not sure who it’s under, though.”

 Kenji scanned the list of names on the iPad before her. As he did that, you scrolled through your texts to find the details that Zoë sent you. After a few short moments, he glanced back at you. After you found the reservation name, you rolled your eyes. Your friends thought they were funny.

 “Found it?”

 “Yes, and I apologize in advance,” you began. Kenji, the host, wrinkled his brow, not getting it. He would, though.

 Clearing your throat, held your head high, then spoke. “Punani Dasani.”

 Kenji’s eyes widened, then he pinched his lips tightly before he nodded and tapped a few keys on the iPad.

 “Wow. Eh-em. Yep, they’re here.”

 Nodding, you dropped your phone back into your clutch. When you looked back up, you caught Kenji’s eyes glued to your cleavage. When his eyes met yours, the embarrassment in them was obvious. Dipping his head, he signaled for you to follow him.

 The two of you walked through the restaurant under low hung plants, vines, and flowers. It was like walking through the garden of Adam and Eve. That must be what the owner had in mind when naming it Creation. It was clever, you thought. Just then, Kenji approached the table with your three friends. Once they saw you, they made a loud “Skeee” sound bringing the attention to those nearby. You couldn’t take them anywhere.

 “You guys think you’re funny with the reservation name?”

 They all laughed at you as you dipped down and greeted each of them with cheek kisses.

 “How did he look at you? From the way he keeps looking back, I can bet he wanted to sample that punani Dasani,” Tati joked to each of their delight.

 They were a trip, always had been. You, Tati, Monaè, and Zoë had been friends since high school and somehow managed to remain tight even though you each went your separate ways to different colleges. You each had spent two years apart until you came back together to finish your final two years of university together.

 “Don’t be mad. He wasn’t that cute anyway,” Monaè said, opening the menu before her.

 Cold-hearted, you thought as you did the same. Dinner progressed with laughs and stories of your days and recent happenings in your lives. As you ate, you decided to forget everything else and just enjoy yourself. You were in desperate need of a girl’s night, so you vowed to enjoy it fully.

 The food was delicious. Somehow they’d managed to make it taste healthy but also savory and completely indulgent. You felt as if every bite you took added thirty pounds, but you knew it wasn’t possible. The flavors all melded together so well that you wanted to send a message to the chef, letting them know they’d done well.

After a deeply fulfilling meal, the four of you piled into a Lyft and made it to your favorite club, Surge.  The music in the club was so loud that you could feel it bouncing inside of you. After getting your first round of drinks, the dancing began, and when the four of you got together with drinks and music, it was always an event.  You jumped into the middle of your circle and busted out your wine. Tati grabbed your phone from your hands and began recording you. Ignoring the camera and the gathering crowd, you allowed the alcohol to do its job and take you away.

 When you heard your friends cheering you on, you decided to really bust out your moves. Dropping to the floor, you did your best twerk. Holding your drink in the air, you began to wine your hips as you stood. It was one of your favorite moves. When you turned around, you saw Tati up close and personal. Slapping your hand in front of the lens, you giggled as you took your phone back to end the recording.

 “Jesus girl, those hips definitely don’t lie,” Monaè teased, making all your friends laugh.

 From behind, you felt someone approach you and place their hand on your waist. Turning, you gave him the rays of death with your stare telling him to back off. As quickly as he’d had the audacity to put his hand on you, he took it off just as quickly and backed away.

 “And don’t come back,” Zoë shouted.

 By the time you made it back home, it was three in the morning, and your feet hurt almost as much as your ass did. After leaving the club, the four of you had an impromptu photo shoot that lasted almost forty-five minutes and ended with you on your ass at the bottom of the pile once you’d tried some ridiculous cheerleading pose trying to relive your high school days. Big mistake.

 After a quick shower that had you almost falling asleep a few times, you dove into your bed, ready for some well-deserved rest. Just as you’d gotten comfortable, your phone’s alarm went off. Groaning, you reached over the edge of the bed, grabbing your bag to rifle through it. With your phone in hand, you blearily stared at the harsh light making your eyes feel as if they hadn’t closed in days rather than hours. You went to your alarm to turn it off, deciding that your routine dawn photo expedition would have to be rescheduled. You were too exhausted.

 Just as you were going to toss it away, you saw the notification of messages on Instagram. Your curiosity got the better of you, and you slid it down to get a preview. Through the blur in your eyes, you saw an icon that looked familiar. Tapping it, you nearly swallowed your tongue when you saw Lewis Tan’s image. Bolting upright, you coughed and slid to brace your back on your headboard.

 “What the--!”

The minute you saw it, you couldn’t believe your eyes. He’d send you a message. Chewing your bottom lip, you studied the time he’d sent it—over four hours ago. You then realized he’d see that you saw it, and you debated in your head if you should reply.

 “Jesus, get it together. Just say something simple,” you coached.

It was weak, but it was the best you had. You wondered if he would think it was weak too. As you obsessed about that, you also realized just how late it was. You’d responded to a DM at booty call hours. Rolling your eyes, you slouched back on your headboard. Your eyelids were heavy, and they drooped, trying to tell you something. Once they closed, your phone chimed that elaborate tone for your notifications.

Why had you responded? It was clear this was some fan page who either was using his image to catfish or gain followers. You never responded to questionable DMs, and this was as questionable as they got.

Even though you were still fighting your sleep, part of you was intrigued.

Flipping your smart TV on, and you turned to the Netflix app and found something for background noise.

Nibbling your bottom lip, you thought for a few moments. You didn’t know if it was the alcohol that had you thinking this deeply or if it was something else.

You snorted and shook your head. “He’s really going down with the ship, huh.”

This was always the reaction when anyone found out your name. They were always shocked and speechless. Usually, you got a few corny jokes or mentions about your favorite planet must be Jupiter or bring up some astronomy fact that was always wrong. It was annoying. You braced yourself for some equally corny mention from him.

The corny mention never came.

Your heart fluttered, and you couldn’t help but cheese from his compliment. You hadn’t expected it. Though you tried to stop smiling, you couldn’t. There was something about his words. It wasn’t like you’d never heard sweet words before. You had. This shouldn’t have been any different.

The exhaustion began to take a more significant hold, and you slid lower, tucking your comforter underneath your chin.

Filming? What the heck was he talking about, you wondered. He was really taking this shit a little too far.

You bolted upright again. Was he seriously going to take this that far?

He was insane, absolutely mental. You were so damn ready to end this. One thing you hated was dishonesty. You especially hated being toyed with.

There was no way that he could prove it. What was he going to do?

He thought you were an idiot. He must have. Your anger was rising.

Rolling your eyes, you tossed your phone beside you. You knew the chances of him passing this test were slim to none. You couldn’t believe that you’d given up the last thirty minutes of sleep for this. Groaning, you dropped back down, determined to drift away to sleep. Almost two minutes passed before you heard your chime again. Fighting the urge, you turned to your side, trying your best to ignore the fact that you knew he’d sent something.

After two minutes of curiosity killing you, you flung your hand back, grabbed your phone while flipping onto your back. You held your phone above your face, opened the app, and there he was.

Your jaw dropped, and your eyes drank in every inch and rippling ab. Jesus, you thought. As you were bringing your phone closer, you didn’t register that a video call was coming in. without even realizing it, you answered, and the same image you’d been looking at moments ago was now live. The only difference was the frame wasn’t as low to show his incredible abs. It cut right at his chest, giving you a peek at his dark, dusty rose nipples. You were utterly frozen. He smiled and raked his hand through his hair before he bit onto his bottom lip. It was Lewis fucking Tan.

 “Enough proof for you?” He smiled, and that was when your phone slipped and fell right in your face.

 “Fuck, owww!”

 The pain was so strong you were tearing up. Rolling to the side, you rubbed your face, then searched for your phone. When you got to it, the video call had ended, showing you your home screen.

 You began to freak out. “Oh my god, oh my god! What the fuck! What the fuck! What the fuck!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[captainrexisboo]

Comfort pt2: Butterflies

I did this one on mobile at work! Turns out I’m ✨Still In My Feelings✨ but writing a flustered Rex makes me feel better, so y’all are gonna deal (I love you all so much ❤️)

Warnings: none. But notes: Rex x Reader, sweet pining, emotional vulnerability, reader is a woman

I hope you guys enjoy this one just as much as the last one ❤️ all comments welcome, DMs always open 🥰 and finally: @000ayfh @pinkiemme @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life (that’s right pro, I read your tags) you guys make me C R Y with your kind words 😭 thank you ❤️ Edit- I forgot to link Pt1

Also pt3: Waiting

~

“Rex?”

He looked up quickly at the sound of your voice, you were standing there with your work in your hands and a flutter of your lashes. He chuckled at the familiar face, honeyed eyes crinkling in amusement as you gave him an innocent pout, “What is it today, Y/N? Are we sitting in silence or having a chat?”

He gestured to the chair in front of his desk for guests, and you practically skipped over to the seat, laying your own datapad and reports in neat stacks, “I think I just need to be. But can we put on some music?”

“Don’t see why not,” Rex gave you a charming grin, one you were now able to easily return without the corners of your lips threatening to pull down. Rex put on some basic top hits radio station, putting the volume down a little low to make it blend into the background, and sharing a smile with you once more before the two of you continued to work in comfortable silence.

It’s been about four standard months since he had given you that hug you desperately needed, since he offered you his company, his shoulder to lean on. You had taken him up on his offer about twice weekly, the two of you quickly becoming close. You shared a hug whenever he came back from a battle now, blessing the stars that he was safe, and you’d say as much whenever he boarded, “Thank you for coming back to me.”

You thought that maybe the first time you said it, he was about to short circuit, his spine stiffening and biting back a choking sound. He swears it was just a bit of exhaust trapped in the ventilation system of his helmet that caused him to cough like that though, you hope he got it fixed. You enjoyed having someone like Rex around, he was kind, sympathetic, patient, a good listener, trustworthy- he made good on his word that you could come to him for anything. Moments like this were now your favorite parts of the week.

Rex enjoyed having you around so often as well. It made his heart feel whole to know how deep your trust in him went, and was always grateful for the little ways you showed your appreciation. He wondered if you were so touchy with all of your friends. If you always gave your friends warm, crushing hugs, or subtle brushes of fingertips on their wrists. If you always gave them words of affirmation, or came into their offices just to sit and share warm laughter. The first time you had kriffing thanked him for returning in one piece made him nearly combust with happiness. To know you were waiting for him to come back every time just made him...he wasn’t sure, but he was hiding the widest of smiles under his bucket. He knew there were butterflies in his stomach that liked to fly up into his throat and make him trip over himself, and that your touches burned through his armor with the sweetest of fire, and that every time your smile was directed at him it shined brighter than any sun he’s ever witnessed. He knew that sharing caff with you felt like a special occasion, even if it was just made from the instant machine in the rec room and brought to his office.

“Rex,” you spoke his name carefully, like you were unsure about how it was pronounced, “Can I ask you something?”

He lifted his head up to you, and he felt his chest tighten. Your gaze was down, worrying your bottom lip with your teeth, twisting your stylus between your fingers. Rex could feel his brows furrow, your mood changed on the drop of a dime, and he cleared his throat to speak low to you, “Of course. Anything.”

He held his breath as you looked up at him through heavy lashes, swallowing his butterflies down as you let out a shuddering exhale, “Why do you care so much?”

Oh.

“Uh,” Rex felt his own gaze shoot downward, suddenly finding his stack of flimsiplast very interesting, “You’re a good friend, Y/N. A kind person. Why wouldn’t I care about you?”

You blinked slowly to him, trying to catch his averted line of sight, “Well, you do a lot for me. You listen to my problems, keep me company when I need it, and I just. I don’t feel like I’ve done anything to deserve it, and-“

“You deserve everything.”

Rex had this issue where no matter how hard he tried, his butterflies made him speak. They made him say the damndest things to you, just bursting out of him in spurts, and always left him to clear it up by himself. His eyes widened at his own words, your eyes finally locking onto his, and he could feel heat rushing to his face as he stammered, “What I mean is, you… you deserve more than you think. Even if you weren’t my friend, I’d still want to extend basic kindness towards you.”

“Captain,” you cocked a brow to him, leaning back in your chair, noticing the way his jaw flexed when you dropped his title, “You walked me through the hardships of heartbreak. You still do, some days. That’s a bit more than basic kindness.”

“Because we’re friends,” he cleared his throat, suddenly finding it difficult to look away from you now, “I mean. You see us as friends, right? That’s what friends do.”

You searched his gaze, bottom lip pulled between your teeth again, making Rex feel surprisingly small as you continued your staring. You hummed at him, releasing your lip, and Rex couldn’t stop himself from glancing down to the reddened flesh. You leaned toward him, forearms on the desk, “But why? We weren’t close before, you kinda just…”

You trailed off into a small giggle, the sound sweet, and Rex was hanging onto your every word at the edge of his seat. You looked off to the side, your own cheeks feelings warm, “You kinda came out of nowhere. A hero, swooping in at the last second to save the maiden in need. Like in the stories I used to read as a kid.”

A hero. If it had come from anyone else, if he had read it on the holonet or seen his face on a war poster, he would’ve scoffed and rolled his eyes. But instead it came from you, direct and to his face in the privacy of four walls, and he was melting. You looked up at him again, gaze soft, your warmth shining through as you bit back another giggle, “Sorry if that's weird, or childish, but it’s true. You remind me- no, you are exactly that.”

Rex couldn’t stop the wide smile that stretched over his face, it felt goofy, and toothy, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop. He tried, he tried to stop, but that only made it worse, and he found himself wishing he had his helmet as he was sure his cheeks held a deep ruddy color to them.

“You’re...you have no idea what you mean to me,” he shook his head, resting his chin in his palm to try and cover his cheshire grin as you looked at him in curious amusement, “Y/N, you are such...you’re a light on this ship. All the staff, all my troopers, even our Jedi care about you. You’re always offering your smile to us, making us feel warm even in hyperspace, and if I’m being honest, coming back to y-“

Rex cleared his throat, cutting himself off as he found himself bearing his soul to you. He watched you closely, the way your lashes hit the tops of your cheeks as you blinked to him, the way you chewed on the plump of your pout as you waited for him to continue. He cleared his throat again, his slight stubble rubbing against the synthweave of his gloves, “Ah, c-coming back aboard to…to see you, I mean. It just makes me feel...better.”

He finished lamely, finally gaining control of his face again and pressing his lips together into a fine line before he could spew anything else out to you. He felt like a cadet again, his heart was racing and his face was hot, and he waited for you to laugh at his silly notions. He wasn’t prepared for the mist that came over your gaze, or the sniffle that accompanied it.

“You really-” you paused to wipe away the tears already gathering atop your lashes, a thin laugh breaking through your choked words, “You’re terrible, making me cry like this. How did a sharp edged, straight cut soldier like yourself get to be so sweet?”

“I’m...sorry?”

He was so perplexed.

You smiled through your haze, more laughter straining out, “F-for what? You just...you say all the right things, Rex.”

He didn’t know what to do. He made you cry, but...you were happy about it? He froze in his seat, unsure of what to say, if he should move- should he give you a hug? Did you want a hug? Did you need to leave? Did you want to leave?

He held his breath as you pushed yourself out of the chair, walking around his desk to immediately fling your arms around his neck. You pulled him close as you leaned down into him, his face heating up even more as it was shoved into your neck, nose skimming the hairline behind your ear. He felt a shiver go down his spine as you sighed against him, your breath fanning over his neck, and he froze. What should he do with his hands?

Typically you’d both be standing, and he’d be able to return your tight hold with his arms around your back, but if he did that now then he’d be pulling you into his lap and he is not going down that rabbit hole. If he just placed them- no, then his hands would be encircling your waist, that’s just as bad as the lap. What if…

Gingerly testing the waters, he breathed through his nose, moving slow as if he’d scare you off with the slightest surprise. He brought one hand up to sit between your shoulder blades, and that was fine. The other hand was treading new territory, coming up to the back of your scalp and threading his fingers through your hair. Your content hum would replay in his mind the rest of the day.

“Rex…”

That was going to replay in his mind for the rest of the week. The way you breathed his name out made him hold you even tighter, not even realizing what he was doing until you chuckled low against him, “Thank you, Rex. I don’t know what kind of state I’d be in if you hadn’t been there for me.”

“It’s my pleasure, Y/N,” he whispered to you, trying not to let his lips skim against your neck as he spoke, “Sincerely.”

You pulled away, and he found himself missing the mild smell of your shampoo. You smiled down at him, standing with your hands behind your back and a hip jutted to the side. You seemed to be contemplating something as you kept looking off to the side, and before Rex could ask what was wrong, you had leaned down to ever so gently press your lips to the side of his temple.

“Sometimes a hug doesn’t say everything quite right,” you bit your lip, pushing a strand of hair out of your face as you felt your cheeks heat up again, “If anyone deserves everything, it’s you, Captain.”

With a final smile, you walked back around to your side of the desk. You bit back a slight giggle as you saw Rex touch the side of his head where you kissed him, turning back to your work just as he looked over to you. He let out a breathy chuckle, getting back to his own work, the two of you settling back into the previous comfortable silence, the forgotten radio finishing up another song.

[plumrabbit]

DA Fandom and moving forward - Calling In vs. Calling Out

Hi everyone,

As a PoC member of the DA fandom, I felt I have been quiet for long enough on the issues that have been presented recently. I am not here to argue against or on behalf of any individual or group, I am only here to present some information that I hope will be helpful moving forward. This is a long post, but it’s my hope that if you read it and want to help contribute to making this place better for everyone, then you will be willing to try to put what is said here into practice.

Since I am a relatively small blog, I wanted to start with a little personal introduction that will segue into the topic at hand. My name is Liz (you can call me Jade too, that’s part of my middle name), and I am a mixed race, “ambiguously brown”, aspec person from Canada. I grew up around mostly other immigrant families, attended predominantly non-white schools that were run by mostly white admins, and completed my degrees at a very white university in a field that does not have much racial diversity. I have experienced racism first-hand many times including, but not limited to, name-calling/slurs, fetishization/exotification, being followed by staff, people second-guessing my name, jokes about hurting/killing people of my race, etc. as well as witnessing racism directed at my friends and peers. I know exactly what it’s like to be exhausted and feel unsafe or othered.  There is, however, one thing I need to point out about the multitude of instances of racism I’ve experienced - most of them were caused by ignorance, and not malice. Yes there are absolute assholes out there, but personally I can count those people I’ve encountered on one hand (I am not speaking for everyone, though). The vast majority of racism, bigotry and general harmful acts come from a place of ignorance, particularly on left-leaning tumblr (to clarify, this discussion is centered around well-meaning people and not the actual lost causes). When I say ignorance, I don’t mean a lack of education or intelligence, I mean not being able to see or understand an issue from another person’s perspective. It’s not quite the same as empathy either (where empathy means you are able to feel another person’s emotions), but fighting ignorance does require empathy. It also requires knowledge on the context of the specific situation, and that I believe is the crux of the problem.  I think the main reason why this is issue is particularly prevalent in the DA fandom is a result of the too-close-to-reality-to-ignore inspirations that have been confirmed by the devs. Yes, it’s fiction, but there are also a lot of people that see themselves (mis)represented in the themes and characters. And what one person sees as disrespectful, another person may not see at all. This can come full circle, too, for example: one person sees themselves and their trauma represented in a character, another person sees their race misrepresented in the same character. Person 1 uses the character as a comfort character or coping strategy. Person 2 thinks using that character in certain situations is disrespectful. Neither one sees the other’s perspective.  This is where intersectionality starts to come into play, and requires empathy and effort to address the intentions and emotions of the other person. Perhaps person 1 is LGBTQ+ and has been traumatized by being as such, and uses Dorian as a character to explore their trauma. Perhaps person 2 is Brown, and racism towards their people is their trigger, and thinks person 1 did not do Brown representation justice in their creative works.  Looking at this more specifically, person 1 may have put Dorian in sexual situations. Person 2 feels that the way it was conveyed was fetishist or exotified. Person 2 doesn’t know person 1′s intentions. Person 1 is not aware of certain descriptions that are racist (e.g. using food to describe a PoC’s skin tone). Perhaps person 1 was self-inserting and wanted to feel desirable on their own terms, but this gave person 2 that squick factor.  Now person 2 wants to address this issue, and I think this is where a call-in (not a call-out) would be appropriate. Here is a good infographic that compares the two: 

(Original source)

Note that there is quite a large difference in the language used. Going back to the above example, person 2 could privately message person 1 asking them why they chose to represent Dorian the way they did, with specific examples, and using call-in language (and I’m going to get back to this in a minute). 

The point of this post and infographic isn’t meant to tell marginalized groups how they should be bringing up issues (though it is a good guide if you are concerned about being polite, particularly to a first time offender), it’s intended to demonstrate to people unintentionally participating in harmful behaviour what a call-out vs. call-in looks like. For PoC and other marginalized groups, yes it does take emotional labour to use call-in language and to try to understand someone that wounded you (here is a good read that incorporates the concept of emotional labour for call-ins, and discusses asking yourself if you are ready to do so). For the people who have unintentionally hurt a marginalized individual or group, please understand that someone calling you in is not an attack, it’s a chance to explain why you expressed something the way you did. 

That being said, we may have reached another hurdle. What if you call someone in, and the person called in does not want to discuss the fact that they were inserting their personal trauma? I think this is where things start to get a bit messy, but I am of the opinion that if you’ve unintentionally triggered someone else’s trauma through ignorance present in your work, you owe it to them to at the very least mention that you were inserting your trauma, without having to bring up specifics (anyone is allowed to set boundaries). From there, the discussion can be hopefully be opened up to learning from each other, and reaching a consensus. Sometimes that consensus requires the creator to edit or remove their work. As an addendum, if you are a creator that unintentionally hurt someone with your work that didn’t have an ulterior personal motivation, it’s your responsibility to understand why what you did was wrong, apologize, remove the work and do better next time. I know some people cherish their OCs, but you are allowed to change your perspective and make adjustments to your character without erasing them entirely. Now we’ve reached another potential obstacle - what if an offender doesn’t respond to your call-in? First of all, ask yourself, did you actually call them in, or did you attack them? Here is a good opinion piece from a Black professor on this matter. I’d like to clarify that I am not trying to tone police, I am speaking as someone that used to go ham on ignorant people on Facebook and Reddit, and has since changed their tactics and has even gotten through to Trump supporters (some of this stems from my spiritual growth as well, but that is not the point here).  There is another issue to address here now as well - what if you have tried, repeatedly, to call someone in and they just don’t change their behaviour? Alright, then it’s probably time to call them out. But again, ask yourself, did you truly try to get through to them? If so, well, at the end of the day, some people are, unfortunately, lost causes. In summary, a call-in is meant to come from a place of wanting to help someone who has seemingly gone astray, because you are worried about their thoughts, feelings, and behaviours towards a marginalized group. You know that if they made a mistake it isn’t them, isn’t their heart, and you want them to be able to understand why what they did hurt others, and give them the chance to correct themselves. It comes from a place of love and acceptance, because you don’t want your friends to harbour negative beliefs.  Finally, I want to give a real example of this in action. My cousin is a photographic artist, and was recently called in to discuss the nature of one of her pieces. Her subjects are usually people, and they come from a wide variety of backgrounds. To help support BLM (she does a lot of work to help fight racism in general), she auctioned off one of her pieces. The subject of the piece happened to be a Black woman. She was called in by Black members of her art community to discuss how people bidding on an art piece that featured a person from a marginalized group perpetuated the ogling and monetization of Black people. She gave a response that acknowledged that her piece did perpetuate this issue, because she wanted to raise awareness of this historical harm, and recognized that her intention was ignorant of this perspective. The Black community also acknowledged that the piece itself was not harmful in any way, only that the surrounding issue that they were painfully aware of needed to be brought to light. The auction went ahead, and the piece sold for ~$1000, all of which was donated to BLM.  I think as a fandom we should be cognizant of when a work itself is harmful, or when the intention is harmful. Sometimes they overlap, sometimes they don’t. Both are talking points, and we should not be afraid to discuss them, but this requires respect from all parties. We also do need to be able to recognize what is strictly fiction, versus what has real-world impacts. My askbox is always open and my DMs are open to mutuals if you would like anything clarified or expanded upon. Or, if you’d just like to discuss a topic, vent, or have any questions about my own beliefs, you are welcome to reach out. I am happy to discuss anything, as long as there is mutual respect. 

[neptunetheplanet7]

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 - 𝐚 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

DM ME IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE PUT ON THE TAGLIST!!

;mikasa ackerman x fem!lesbian!reader

;modern au, band au

word count: 1.6k

warnings: swearing, arguing

italics means flashback/memory recall

listen to the music masterlist

prev | next

The party ended but the yelling didn't stop. It had been about an hour since everyone left and about three since Eren saw Jean last. You were picking up a mess in the kitchen with Eren when he slammed his hands on the counter.

You jumped up and your eyes snapped towards him. His head was lowered and his breathing was ragged.

"Eren?" You made your way to his side of the room and placed a gentle hand on his arm. He turned to face you.

"Sorry." He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you in for a hug. Your hands around his shoulders while his head rested in the crook of your neck. "When will they stop?" His voice was muffled against your skin.

You sighed, "I don't know. I hope soon or before Armin gets home at least." Your right hand carefully made its way into his gnarled hair.

He let out a huff against your shoulder. "Let's try to get some sleep, Eren. We can stay in the basement tonight, yeah?" You whispered. He nodded and pulled back.

The yelling coming from Mikasa's room grew louder as you passed the stairs. You opened the basement door and followed Eren down the stairs.

"You can take the bed." You offered and slumped on the couch. Eren nodded and waved sleepily while heading to the basement bedroom.

The next morning Armin had woken you up in a panic. "Y/n! Y/n, wake up!"

"What? What's going on?" You sat up, alert now.

"Mikasa's gone! Jean said she only left a letter. What the hell happened last night?" Armin's eyes were wide and he was visibly stressed.

"Mikasa's what? What do you mean she's gone? She can't be gone. Where's the letter? Did you read it?" You stood and gripped Armin's shoulders.

"Jean has the letter. She wasn't here when I came home and he was sitting on the stairs with it in his hand."

"When did you get home?"

"Maybe fifteen minutes ago."

You let go of Armin and scrambled up the stairs as fast as you could. Your eyes darted around for Jean when you saw he wasn't on the stairs like Armin had left him. 

"Jean? Jean where the hell are you?"  You were panicked.

The air started to feel stale as you racked your mind for an answer. Where was Jean? Where was Mikasa? Why did she leave so suddenly? What was in the letter? Would you get to find out? When will she come back? Why didn't she say goodbye?

You walked fast-paced through your house, searching for Jean. When you got to the kitchen, you noticed a stray piece of paper on the counter. You picked it up and realized it was what you thought it was.

Mikasa's tear-stained letter was in your hands.

"Dear friends, I'm leaving. Expect not to see me for a long time. I have a lot to think about. I can't be in the band right now. Not like this. Jean- I don't want to see you. Eren- I hope you'll forgive me. Armin- Go see the sea. Y/n- If only you knew. With love, Mikasa."

Your hand had come up to your mouth while processing her letter. Tears spilled down your cheeks as the realization sunk in. She was really gone and you had no idea when you'd get to see her again.

"Y/n, wake up. You fell asleep. We're at your house." Sasha nudged you and you were brought back to reality. Somewhere along the road, you and her switched spots so now you were on the passenger side.

"Ah, my neck hurts." You said bitterly while rubbing the spot your neck was previously, and unfortunately, resting on the door.

"Yeah, that's what happens when you fall asleep in a car," Connie spoke as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. You flicked his forehead. "Hey, what'd you do that for?" He clawed at his head.

You said your goodbyes to the two and entered your house. It was now late afternoon, and Eren was back home.

"Where the hell have you been, tootsie? You look awful." He pointed his spoonful of Nutella at me in disgust. 

"Thanks, Eren. You're a real charmer." You gave a sarcastic smile before grabbing a spoon and joining him on the counter. "I've been out with Sasha and Connie. Where have you been all day?"

"Mind your business, L/n." 

You scoffed as he shoved the Nutella into your arms. "The hypocrisy." You muttered.

"Why isn't this house clean?" He looked at the living room and raised his hands in mock outrage.

"I'm not a cleaning lady! If you want it cleaned so badly, do it yourself!" You twisted the Nutella cap back on the container and tossed your spoon into the sink.

"But whenever I do it, you say it's wrong!" He whined.

"Eren, the dryer sheets go over the dryer and the detergent goes over the washing machine! What is so hard to grasp about that? That's how it's always been! But you probably wouldn't know, since you never do your own laundry." You clutched the counter in annoyance. 

"They're both on the same shelf! What's the issue?" He said, exasperated.

"What are you two on about?" Armin sauntered into the room and sat on a kitchen stool.

"Eren can't clean for shit."

"Hey!" He glared. You stuck your tongue out in his direction.

Armin laughed lowly. "You guys bicker like an old married couple."'

"How dare you say that! I would never marry him! Gross!" You made vomiting motions and fake retched.

Eren smirked. "Well, if things don't work out between you and Mikasa, I'm always around." He tittered.

"Eren, I'm literally gay." You deadpanned.

Armin let out a hearty laugh. "She's got you there." They grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl and bit into it.

Before Eren could respond, the kitchen door opened to reveal Jean out of breath in the doorway. "Good evening fellow friends!"

"What's your deal?" Eren raised an eyebrow, referring to Jean's drenched form.

"It started raining. Pretty harshly." Jean wrung out his coat over the stairs.

"Sucks to suck!" Eren's hand slammed on the counter while the other was pointed at Jean.

"Any news on Mikasa?" You asked gingerly.

"Not anything new. As far as I'm concerned, I'm still picking her up at the airport tomorrow," Jean reassured. 

"Should we throw her a welcoming party or something?" Eren suggested. Everyone looked at him like he was a moron. His eyes narrowed. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

"Are you crazy? She left because of what happened at a party! Why would she want one now? Do you want to drive her away again? Mikasa has never been the party type, anyways." You exclaimed while crossing your arms in front of your chest.

Eren put his hands up in defense. "Sheesh, it was just an idea."

"Yeah, a real dumbass idea." Jean seethed.

To prevent a fight, you interjected, "We have this whole house to clean. If you want a good welcoming gift, you'll help me clean it." You gestured to the several messes in your line of sight.

Eren shifted his glare to you. "Where do I start, then?" He gritted his teeth.

"You can start with your filthy room, and then the basement since you're down there the most." You smiled sweetly and quickly spoke up again before he could protest. "Jean, you can do your room and the rooms on this floor, not mine though. Armin, you already keep the waterfront looking great, but if you could do a sweep-through of the deck that'd be awesome. Also, can you do the office upstairs? I can do everything else."

Everyone nodded and started to clean their designated areas. You went upstairs to finish Mikasa's room and then start on the others. You had already finished with your room. You stopped in front of her door and took a deep breath. Here goes nothing.

Several hours later, the four of you were slouched on the couch, mindlessly staring at a random movie on tv. Jean had tried his best to get comfortable but just ended up upside down. Eren was lying down with his head in your lap and his legs sprawled over Jean, much to his dismay. Armin had a blanket around himself and was leaning on you whilst trying his best to stay awake.

It was close to midnight and you all had a big day ahead of you. "I'm exhausted." Eren groaned from your lap. 

"I second that." Jean lazily raised his hand in the air.

"Me too. I'm headed up to bed. Goodnight everyone." Armin yawned and made his way up the stairs, occasionally tripping on their blanket.

"So am I. Eren get your scrawny legs off me!" Jean hurriedly tried to shimmy off the couch.

"Shut up, horse face! Don't tell me what to do." Eren grumbled while lifting his head off of you. You stood up after him. He sure was a pain when he was tired.

"Goodnight to you losers. Sleep well." He said groggily while going to the basement instead of his actual room. You stretched and headed to your room.

"Aren't you going to get up, Jean?" You rubbed your eyes sleepily.

"Yeah, you go on to bed." He waved you off while struggling to get off the floor. You chuckled softly.

After you got changed into your pajamas, you collapsed on your bed with a heavy sigh, taking a look through your old texts with Mikasa one last time.

posted: 8/25/21

neptunetheplanet7© 2021

no reposts, edits, or modification to my work by anyone other than me.

[detectivereyes]

hi and welcome to jamie overanalyzes 911 lone star s2 trailer. this post is long and everything is under the cut bc of that and also bc i know there’s a lot of people out there who are trying not to see anything (which i wish i was you, that’s incredible) anyway if you’re like me and are losing your mind trying to make sense of it all... read below the cut

first just looking at the some screen grabs from trailer that i think are important to pull out

→ this has already been discussed but i’m pretty sure between this clip and the one where you can see the front side of the figures, that it’s owen and tim standing there (owen has the helmet on that says “captain”, tim has “paramedic” on his jacket)... this is important later

→ oh hey gwen

→ “one of our own died today” and it’s not owen, nancy, paul, or marjan... and my prediction that the figure that is comforting nancy is tommy... 

okay there’s not much to really dissect there.. i mean i could probably go shot by shot and give my takes but tumblr is already annoyed at how many pics i’ve uploaded and what people really want to talk about is that last note...

so which one of their own died today???

well we know for sure it’s not owen (they’re not killing off rob lowe lmao), nancy, paul, or marjan (unless the second two screenshots are just supposed to throw us off but this is confusing enough already so let’s just assume they are crying over whoever died)

we can also assume that it’s not tk bc of how much ronen posts, or carlos or grace since they aren’t firefighters. 

my initial thought is that it’s tim rosewater: mostly bc of the teaser trailer (see screenshot above) but at the time i really thought they weren’t actually going to kill anyone off. i also noticed mark elias was still posting. but now i’m not so sure. the main reason behind this reasoning is that nancy is shown crying, and she’s tim’s paramedic partner. of course everyone is going to be upset if someone from their house dies so nancy would be upset over anyone. however, she is shown in this trailer and considering she’s not a main cast member, i think that’s pretty significant. additionally, tim is also not a main cast member so he’s more likely to be killed off than any of the cast members who are. it sucks and i liked tim a lot so i hate this option but i’m going like 90% sure it’s him. but in order to explore other options, let’s dive a little deeper into other possibilities, shall we?

someone else mentioned that it could be michelle. i don’t really think it would be since they made it pretty clear that liv tyler couldn’t film due to travel restrictions. i also think fox would want to promote that liv is returning for one or so episode(s) if that was the case... then again other shows have successfully kept guest appearances secret so who knows really? it would make sense so i wouldn’t entirely discount it. it would make sense that nancy would be upset, and it’s a way for michelle to exit the show. but i hate that bc then the door is closed for liv to ever return to the show. overall i don’t really see this happening (mostly bc of covid and the logistics of getting liv to film...) but then again, i feel like it’s important to keep this in mind

besides tim, the character that makes the most sense would be mateo. i hate this option but this is where we’re at unfortunately. showing marjan upset? he’s also not shown as much in the trailer.. however i think you can see him for a split second at one point during a wildfire scene. if i remember correct, the wildfire episode is occurring around 2x04 (???) and the lava thing whatever you want to call it, is happening at the end of 2x01, into 2x02. so if that’s the case, and assuming that whoever dies is killed during the lava thing (yeah i just keep calling it lava thing..) then i think mateo is safe. please let me be right.

two other options that it could be but i find unlikely are judd and buttercup. judd isn’t shown in the trailer except for briefly during the lava thing (??? i could be wrong tho) but i also don’t think killing him off would make sense bc he’s connected to grace and also like he lost his entire team?? they spent so much time building his story during the first season that i honestly can’t see them killing him off so early in the second. and with buttercup... they can’t kill the dog. it makes sense but also it’s mean and i think it’s more implied that whoever died was killed on a call. i could be wrong here and maybe the lone star writers really do hate us but also i just won’t accept that.

finally, and one that i think is probable, the person who dies isn’t someone we know. all owen says is “we lost one of our own today.” of course one of our own could imply literally someone from the 126. but also it could just imply a fellow firefighter, since it is considered a brotherhood. maybe it was someone they teamed up with from another house and got close with? maybe it was a friend of judd’s? i mean hell maybe it was a floater they brought in for tk while he was on medical leave? we really don’t know but i think it’s important to keep this option in mind as well and not get to ahead of ourselves.

i love that we’re going to look back on this next month and be like wow it was so obvious?? we really thought that it could have been ___?? but for now i’m going to be losing my mind over here if anyone wants to join me. my official guess is going to be tim but i would love to hear what anyone else thinks!! my ask box and dms are open. 

edit, re the eddie/ryan theory: there’s some valid points but overall i don’t think this one makes sense mostly bc this death is happening on 911 lone star... if 911 was going to kill off one of their main cast members, they would do it on their own show. not in a spin off crossover episode... if only bc there are plenty of casual viewers out there that only watch 911 and would have no idea that eddie died. no matter how upset the network is with everything that happened with ryan, they can’t kill him off on a show that isn’t his, it just doesn’t make sense.

[foundthe8wing]

I know exactly what I mean when I say “the dndads team is endangering minors in their spaces,” but I think from the outside, seeing that sentiment repeated, it’s easy to interpret it as rhetoric or as something like “if you’ve ever mentioned the existence of sex you’re a danger to children” when that isn’t the argument here at all. So I want to do my best to lay out why we call it dangerous.

CW: discussion of grooming (a bit more specifically than in previous posts of mine)

For context, these are the rules for the dndads patron server, at least as of October 4:

[ID: a discord message from Freddie:

In order to keep this a safe and welcoming community, we have some rules and guidelines everyone must follow.

If you need help or if anyone makes you uncomfortable (in chat or in DMs), the mods are here for you! You can ping them in the chat by using @/moderator, message the group using @/ModMail, or if you’d prefer to discuss a matter privately 1-on-1, you can also PM the community manager @/Ash or moderators directly.

Listen to the mods! They enforce the rules. Infractions are handled on a case-by-case basis. Breaking the rules will result in you being muted for a duration determined by severity and infraction history. 

We’ve enabled nicknamed editing on the server, so please feel free to append your preferred pronouns at the end of your username.

Always remember these basic guidelines:

This is an 18+ space. Per Patreon’s policy, you must be 18+ or have parental permission.

Keep conversation polite. NSFW content is not allowed!

Stay on topic! If you find yourself drifting off topic, move to another channel. When in doubt, go to #shoot-the-breeze or #shoot-the-breeze-2 /End ID]

You’ll note the policy against NSFW content, but damn, I don’t know what kind of world they live in where linking kink tests and writing erotica are SFW activities. Definitely wouldn’t fly at my job, I’ll tell you that. Anyway.

I’m not saying that everyone who’s ever discussed sex in the presence of a minor is a predator, or that these discussions are always, definitely a slippery slope to kids getting groomed. But I’m saying that when the cast says things like “Grant has never jerked off in that house” and “there’s so much sexual tension between Bella and Dr. Cullen” and “Glenn definitely looks through Nick’s porn history,” among other things; and when they then allow people to regularly discuss sex acts and share kink test results and erotica in their server (yes, even if it’s meant as a joke), they’re making it much easier for predators to approach minors, and much harder for those minors to then be able to tell when lines are being crossed. 

You know the saying about how you can boil a frog and it won’t hop out of the pot as long as you heat it up slowly? The server is getting uncomfortably warm, and it makes it that much easier for someone to turn it up a few degrees in private. It contributes to things like, for example, 9th grade me not pushing back when a then-20-year old made comments on all the “sexual tension” between me and one of my classmates (in response to me telling a story from when we were eleven). 

I believe that if a 14-year-old in a position like the one I was in said “hey, this person keeps asking invasive sexual questions and I’m uncomfortable,” the mods would do something (though whether it’d be handled well is still questionable), but I don’t feel confident that that hypothetical kid has a good reason to believe that’s the case. If I was in a similar situation, I can’t cite anything that would make me feel like I’d be supported and have my concerns addressed, or that would validate my discomfort with the situation, and I can actually point to a lot of things that send the opposite message. 

Because if that kid takes a look around the server and sees that plenty of adults here are bringing up sexual topics in this all-ages space anyway, that no one in charge is objecting to users sexually discussing 13-year-old characters, that Anthony considers “why, did the podcast make you nut” a perfectly acceptable thing to say unprompted . . . it doesn’t give a great impression that whoever they approach will take them seriously if they ask for help. It doesn’t give them a good basis for trusting their instinct that something is off with the way they’re being spoken to. That piece is vital, and it’s where the cast, community manager, and moderators have failed over and over and over. 

Simply saying “if anyone makes you uncomfortable (in chat or in DMs), the mods are here for you!” isn’t sufficient when it’s not coupled with a direct statement that adults approaching minors about sexual topics isn’t okay. It’s not cool for adults to be having explicit conversations with or around minors. There is no good reason for an adult to be asking or speculating about a minor’s sexual behaviors, or discussing their own sex life with minors, or sharing/discussing explicit media with them. Make that clear. It’s not the kid’s job to automatically know this; it’s your job to tell them. 

(Which isn’t to say that an action has to definitively cross that line in order for someone to express discomfort-- “these things aren’t okay, and if you’re unsure, you can reach out anyway” would be a good approach in my book, but the second part on its own isn’t enough.)

Right now, if a teen in the dndads server is being groomed, all of the responsibility is placed on this teen to:

Identify the fact that they’re uncomfortable (and then choose to examine that discomfort rather than immediately downplay it)

Articulate why this is bothering them

Convince themself (and, potentially, whoever they approach about it) that it’s a big enough deal to bring up at all

Speaking as someone who’s been there: it can be really fucking hard to do. But it’d be a hell of a lot easier if the cast said anything to the effect of “hey, adults shouldn’t be initiating this kind of conversation with you,” or if they made any effort to rein in the “spicier” conversations in the server. 

Adults detailing their kinks in the presence of kids isn’t cool, even if none of those kids say they’re uncomfortable. I need an indication that a single person managing the dndads patron server understands that and is taking it into account. 

Nobody wants to be the killjoy who says “hey, I’m not comfortable.” Especially not in an environment where there’s a pattern of such concerns getting dismissed and belittled. Double especially when the behavior is coming from some of the most influential members of the community. It’s not fair--and not safe--to foist all of that pressure onto an uncomfortable kid, and it’s absolutely crucial that the people with power get ahead of it and take on the responsibility of calling out and shutting down unacceptable behavior.

In order to be effective, “reach out if you’re uncomfortable” needs to also be coupled with an apology for the way they’ve been conducting themselves. Because if they don’t apologize for things like the examples I listed above, for the ways their content and actions have contributed to harmful ideas about consent and about sexualizing kids, for allowing the server to exist in this state for so long, then they’re implicitly saying either that those things were okay, or that they’re above those standards. Not a great look no matter how you slice it.

TL;DR: allowing this level of sexual discussion around minors, especially in the absence of any type of messaging or warning regarding grooming, makes it easy for those minors to get preyed on. And saying “we’re here for you if you’re uncomfortable” doesn’t on its own count as actually making the server a safe or comfortable environment. 

[illneverrecover]

Jackie, I hope you are doing well!💖I hope its ok to send this kind of ask, I get a good big sister vibe from u and as a writer myself I just need some advice. How do u deal with not getting a lot of notes or comments on your stuff? Like I feel like I work so hard and it takes me days to write something but then I post and it barely gets 10 likes. I have friends who hype me and I appreciate them but it still stings, u know? Just wondering if you've dealt with this and if so how do you let it go?

Hi bb! First of all, I'm glad I give off big sister vibes! I'm always here to help and encourage other writers and creators, so never feel shy about sending me anything (and I mean anything - feel free to send random memes, Tae pictures that made you yell, whatever. I'm always down to chat!) Second of all, I have dealt with this before, and let me be the first to say that I know it sucks.

I would say this is probably most writers' experience, especially on Dumblr. Despite the fact that this site is super popular for fandoms, it's not very cooperative for creators to use it. The system as it's set up means that in order for things to be seen widespread, they need to be reblogged and/or tagged to reach a higher audience. Unfortunately, most people don't take the time to do that. It's painfully easy to just throw a like onto a post and keep on keeping on, and the tagging system is constantly not working like it should, things not showing up, etc.

I know it's frustrating. It sucks to work so hard on something and put your time and energy into it and feel like no one is interested. We write, make graphics, edit gifs, etc as a way to creatively express ourselves, and then we share it with the world in hopes it brings someone else a little piece of joy. Let me be the first to tell you that it's very brave of you to share your creativity with anyone, and I think it'll probably always sting a bit when it feels like it's not getting the welcome that you had hoped for.

The things that helped me with this may not help you, but just in case it does I'm happy to share!

1. I write for myself - me, myself, and I. Do I like what I wrote? Does it feel like a genuine piece that I want to share? Does it represent me and my storytelling in an authentic way? Then I'm happy! Bottom line, I'm the main reason I do any of this, so as long as I'm enjoying myself I'll keep doing it. 2. I also write for my friends. As long as my friends loved or enjoyed what I created, then I'm content. Like your friends, mine are always here to hype me up and give me love and encouragement, and it really means the world to me. They also have good taste so I know if they tell me they like something - they're being genuine. Writing something that makes them blush or flusters them or has them yelling my DMs always makes me feel accomplished, even if no one else leaves a comment. 3. Cross-posting to other platforms sometimes brings traction to a story that hasn't gotten a lot of notes on Tumblr. I cross post some of my stuff to AO3 (not everything, mostly because I'm lazy) - but there are other authors here who also cross-post to other sites like Wattpad. This may be something to consider as there are a lot of people who love fanfic who don't know or use Tumblr. 4. Joining writing networks. There are TONS of them out there, and they all function differently and can offer different things for a writer. I mostly join them so I can participate in projects (having deadlines really helps me focus and actually get shit done, lol) and to meet other writers and have some people to go to for writing advice, tips, beta reading, etc - but there are some with very large platforms that will boost your work and could help get your writing seen. 5. Try not to take it personally. I know it's hard and it makes you feel very vulnerable, but there could be a multitude of reasons something doesn't get a lot of notes. It's not a secret to see that certain genres, AUs, pairings, members, etc get more notes than others - and this has been the case for me as well. My smut fics almost always do well, whereas my other stories that don't have smut tend to get less notes. Some people look for very specific things when they want to read something, but it shouldn't dictate what we write. If the story you want to tell is important to you, then it should still be shared. 6. Ask for feedback with trusted friends/mentors. I know there is always room to improve and grow, and I personally want to know if there is an area in my writing where I am falling short or that I could do better with. I reach out to people that I know who have my best interest in mind and I trust them to give me accurate feedback. This may or may not make a difference in how well a fic does, but I think this step is important, especially so that #1 above stays true. I'm no expert by any means, but that basically sums up how I approach my writing in general when it comes to things like this. Please don't let any lack of interaction or notes diminish your passion and desire to write and share stories. At the end of the day, we all need more creativity and storytelling in the world, and just because your fic doesn't get 3k notes overnight doesn't mean it isn't worth sharing. Your words matter. No one has ever written a fic in the exact way you would, and your vision and interpretation is just as important as anyone else.