#anyway I think he processes all that in college and has a crisis only to wind up at the same conclusion

[paunchsalazar]

kaoru…

[igarbagecannoteven]

megs!! hello!! good evening!! i want literally all of the things from your ask game so just imagine im copypasting all the emojis. tell me all the things!! love you so much missing you lots xoxo give the babygirl a kiss from me since she will never accept one from me anyway

bella!! hiya!! good evening!! (of the next evening but the sentiment still stands lol) love you so so much prilla and i miss you i will give her kisses for you 💙

🤘: so. you get the cursed song since you cannot cut ties from me now that we've signed a year-long lease :)) the song i've been looping all day is BOGOS BINTED by Ida Deerz ft Kaj Strife & 2a03fox which is. well. furry music (with a suicide ment tw for anyone who needs it) and i am not (that) ashamed to say it kinda slaps (you probs won't like it tho sdklfjsdlkjfsd) i mean the chorus is hella catchy! non-cursed song recs are Kid Fears by The Indigo Girls and The Wood Song also by The Indigo Girls (also Galileo which is also by them lol)

👀: okay this is a series of three fics but riverdale belongs to the gays by boos is a *very* good canon divergent (mostly bc it was written during like season 2 or something) exploration of both canon & non-canon events through the lens of the core four all being queer (with ace jughead!!) but if you'd like something (much) shorter there's The Real Suspension of Disbelief by punk_rock_yuppie which is jarchie with ace!jughead :))

🖇️: okay so this idea is actually inspired by a discussion topic from a philosophy class i took so it's a little weird and angsty BUT it's a sci-fi/dystopian au where people use teleportation devices like the ones in star trek and person a, who's used the teleportation device in the past, dies for unrelated reasons (maybe a hovercraft crash or a plague or something idk yet) and their significant other, person b, who's half-mad with grief, breaks into the records of the company who makes the teleportation devices and gets the data for the exact molecular make-up of person a and makes it materialize on one of the transport pads, "bringing them back to life". *however*this is a past version of person a since it's been a minute since they used teleportation (i haven't decided how long yet, at least a few months i think) and so they think they're going to, like, visit their mom or whatever but then they teleport into a scene where their bf's getting dragged away by security and it's x months/years later. cue the realization that a version of themselves actually died, blah blah blah, the question of do they have a soul comes up bc i'm me, etc etc, some other loved ones not accepting them as the "real" person a,,, it wouldn't really be a "they came back wrong" story but there would be elements of that bc regardless of how long it's been btwn the use of the teleportation device and their death, there will be memories that person b has that person a does not, and there's the classic identity crisis aspect and yeah. classic cheerful megs fic sdkljflkdsjklfjsdlkjf

😈: inspired by the job hunting process, my hashtag hot take of the day is that a job where you're handling people's financials and requires you to have a college degree should pay more than a cashier job at a upscale supermarket where a high school degree is preferred but not required 🙃

🧠: okay so uh. major spoilers for dungeons and daddies season 2 below the cut if anyone cares about that lol

so the latest episode of my favorite podcast (also the only one i listen to regularly but that's not relevant) they revealed that my favorite npc (grant wilson, son of a pc in s1 and dad of pc in s2) was transported to the titanic just b4 it hit the iceberg along with his fiance (it was either the night b4 their wedding or the day of) and that's where he found, rescued from death, and then adopted his son (lincoln, one of the player characters) and like. listen. this is The Podcast Of Wild Ass Rides(tm), after all it was only a couple arcs ago that the cast of family guy fought the fbi over who could attack the cast only for a giant flying dog to rescue the cast, brutally murdering family guy and the fbi in the process b4 flying the cast up to heaven's gates (longggg story lol), not to mention all the main characters getting married to survive the vacuum of space, HOWEVER. all of those buckwild things all had mostly reasonable explanations if you've listened to the whole show (the fbi trying to break into hell, goofs realm being a quasi-family guy reality with cursed standup, trying to rescue a half demon from the iss, that sort of thing) and the titanic is the first thing that seems to come completely out of left field. does this mean there's some great significance about the titanic that we just don't know yet??? is it supposed to tip us off to the fact that grant's husband knows more than it's seemed??? was it just to riff on the movie titanic??? who knows!!! anthony (the dm) what are you planning!!!

[magicalara]

I've finished ouran and I have 2 questions

1. (unrelated) but have you ever tried Kraft Mac and cheese because I bought some the other day from this random shop, idk it was imported or something and why is it violently orange??

2. The ending to ouran made me cry for some reason, what do you think the club would do once like honey and Mori came out of high school and they slowly all grew out of the club? How close would each of them be to eachother?

I mean obviously life gets busy with all of them. No doubt Haruhi has a flourishing career in something or other and Kyoya is obviously busy. I'd like to see the twins mature a bit and actually gain a bit of independence from eachother and branch out to different things. Maybe they'd meet again after a few years and find out what changed about them.

(Or maybe they didn't know about Haruhi, Kyoya and Tamakis relationship until now)

Also do you think any of them would eat the violently orange Mac and cheese I ate

Anyway Ouran over, Bsd next... I sense a storm coming....

And yea tag me as Briccy if you like! I don't really have a preference.

HI BRICCY

Okay first question:

Yes, I have had kraft mac n cheese lol. To make it short, sweet, and simple: it's violently orange bc ✨chemicals✨ This is America after all and it seems that that is our main ingredient to..well a lot of things. But also I don't like Kraft or even the god forsaken Velveta because honestly I can make better with minimal things I have in my house lol

And yes, Tamaki probably saw the orange cheese noodles online and proceeded to buy like five packs for him, Kyoya, and Haruhi to try and then proceeded to send them to everyone as like a random gift or something idk. Whatever the case may be, Tamaki started the idea and Hikaru always keeps some at home as he liked it the most.

Putting a read more on this bc it got longer than expected 💀

QUESTION TWO:

It made me cry the first time I watched it too lol then again i was also neck deep in crisis and impending debt bc my college didn't process my scholarship right and it was a MESS but that's a story for another day

I think that it isn't until Tamaki and Kyoya graduate that certain things drift off. Tamaki being at the center is, imo, what really holds the group together and him graduating is probably what hurts it the most. Obviously with Haruhi there, at least her and the twins' last year won't be void of Tamaki, but I think it's void of everyone else and that includes Kyoya. I'll explain further:

Honey and Mori as a duo stay close no matter what; they're family and best friends and Mori's loyalty will not have him leaving Honey's side outside of educational obligations. Even the businesses (I say lightly given what it really is) of each of their separate families is close enough to where they can probably work together on a lot of things. But when it comes to the others, sure they keep in touch separately but after Tamaki isn't physically at Ouran to head the club, there aren't a lot of group activities to do anymore. I think Mori and Hikaru keep in touch the most outside of Tamaki's mandatory group bonding and zoom activities and Honey and Haruhi with the same idea.

Kyoya, especially once he's graduated, isn't full into the whole calling and texting thing so if they don't reach out to him, he's not gonna remember to reach out to them lol. He cares, he's just busy with the whole family business thing. I want to think that his father probably sent him abroad too for at least a year during his studies and that caused a bigg rift as time zones really limited communication. Regardless, Tamaki always made sure to text him everyday, even just a simple good morning or good night and a reminder to drink water and sleep. Haruhi would try and message at least once every two or three weeks and they'd have long calls every other month to catch up. He only really speaks to Honey and Hikaru at group events but plays games on his phone like the farming game thing (HayDay?? is that what it's called?? idk but the thing where you can send shit to friends and all that) with Kaoru and Mori. Kaoru also calls every few months and they text like once every other week if they both remember.

I could make a whole post on the KyoTamaHaru relationship starting and honestly I just might bc, like I said before, after graduating, he kinda goes off and so obviously the relationship can't start then. I wanna say it starts at least three years after Haruhi graduates when Kyoya comes back for a longer period of time and Tamaki welcomes him back with such open arms that he both did and didn't expect and it's just a rush of feelings and he gets closer to Haruhi than they ever were now that they can have their deep talks in person and they end up feeling like home and fuck now I have to make an actual post about this.

Anyways, the twins try and text everyone equally but end up talking to Haruhi the most jointly and Mori (Hikaru) and Kyoya (Kaoru) the most separately. When it comes to university, they probably start at the same one to keep the theme of twins going strong but after like a year and a half or so, they find their own wildly different interests and probably split off. It was emotional for them and so hard at first, but they both were able to grow into their own persons as a result of it more than they could've if they just did different majors at the same universities.

As for Haruhi, she does her best to text everyone when she can, but doesn't stress about it. Her and Honey go on little outings to cafes and stuff and Mori will come along when he can every so often, but that's the extent of that. Outside of Tamaki at first and then adding on Kyoya later, though, the twins are who she talks to most. Either it's the three of them in their group chat or them separately, but those three are always. texting. each. other. She was one of the first people to get super close to them, after all. Omg can you imagine their grad photos wait I think they'd be so cute gasp waittt

Last but least there's Tamaki. He's planning all the reunions and has a stockpile of ideas for outings that they have AT LEAST once a month. Not everyone can go each time, obviously, but he still makes the effort to plan them. He has a rotation system for texting the twins and Honey and Mori too: every other day he texts one of them and then he's basically talking to them once a week. The only exceptions are Haruhi and Kyoya but he sees Haruhi nearly everyday so like duh and I already said about him texting Kyoya everyday so yeah.

All in all, Kyoya's the worst at keeping in touch, Tamaki is the one who talks to everyone the most, and Haruhi is the best out of everyone when it comes to giving enough time in between while still definitely caring (though they all care about each other regardless)

BSD hehe 😈 I can't wait to hear about certain reactions from you, and I hope you like it. I diced in head over heels to the point where I bought all the novels like a week after I started watching the anime lol but I've read already 6 of the 8 total and they are so so good.

[daz4i]

my pitch for the persona 5 arena game. atlus hire me

this is very long so under a read more it goes

royal compliant, so the whole maruki thing did happen. all the phantom thieves have graduated by now (or at least the current second years did), so it's post strikers too as to not conflict with that timeline. having a hard time with school in his hometown and generally not being interested in a higher education, akira ends up not going to college. he's grown apart from his friends as they all progressed with their own lives, mostly sticking to texting in the group chat but nothing more.

he's having some crisis about things: a sense of no future, trauma from the interrogation room, grief over goro - but he can't talk about it with anyone or get professional help bc he's scared they'll use it against him. he ends up bottling things up, but as time goes on it becomes too much, to the point it manifests a new world - not quite the metaverse, no. more like... an arena 👀

to mix things with the previous games, it's time to make "akira is from inaba" canon, so the arena is based there, kind of rising from the ground and destroying half the town in the process. the p4 squad are the first to notice, naturally, but only some of them are still living there (I'd say probably kanji yukiko and chie). they call the shadow operatives first, and then the rest of the investigation team

"but how will the phantom thieves get there? shouldn't they be the main group in the story?" glad you asked! the shadow operatives actually have a new member, someone who has a lot of personal experience with shadows and personas, who also happens to have to stay hidden from the public and keep the fact they're alive from the people they know. y'all already know it's goro lmao. I'm a firm believer he lives after royal, and in the canon verse making him a shadow operative makes so much sense, esp if he's looking to hide himself from the public and the thieves

but he feels bad about hiding himself for so long - the years softened him a little, he actually believes in having teammates now that he's got some therapy - and i have now decided he knows akira is from inaba bc I'm sure it was brought up before, so he's worried he might be in danger. he calls akira, but gets no answer, so he tries the other thieves and asks them to get together and come to inaba (I'm guessing he catches like, one of them and gives them a rundown of what's up to pass to the rest of the team).

so now we've got all three groups in inaba, trying to figure out what the hell is going on. I'd say it's a bit like in p4u where all the residents are missing, but electronics still work here for story convenience.

anyway, while they're trying to explore the town, each of the thieves arriving separately, they get attacked... by... akira? this is where the gameplay begins. the thing that's attacking them, it's akira, or it looks and sounds like akira, but he's copying their attack style and methods - to the player it looks like the same animations and moves set.

we got a joker card here y'all, he's matching whoever he's fighting atm. personas wise I'd say he uses some of the velvet room ones, the one he uses in each battle depends on the other person's element so he just uses whichever persona specializes in that.

once the thieves beat this akira, he basically turns into black dust like a cognition would when destroyed. it's not actually him, but rather his anger at the unfairness of life and the repressed rage he has over growing apart from his friends manifesting into "him" attacking them. the fights are all one on one so for once he gets to have a fair fight, to not be at a disadvantage or have to think 3 steps ahead, just let loose and fight and express all of his bottled up emotions. he can only afford to let things out through cognitions in this world of his own creation

I'm guessing it's all subconscious for him. he's probably inside the arena, waiting, maybe not even realizing this isn't a dream. once the thieves reach him for the final boss battle (after, I'm hoping, more plot I'm too lazy to figure out now lol) i want it to be one long battle where you switch between the thieves in the order they joined the team, each of them having to beat the real akira in turns. i wanna say his health bar is just really large and you gotta whittle it down to a certain point to switch to the next phase/thief, where akira switches his persona to the same element of the thief he's fighting just like the regular battles, but does have his own unique moveset this time.

i don't have much else plot wise. i guess there needs to be some god involved and i nominate yhvh bc he def symbolizes unfairness in my eyes lmao. could be that he takes over akira or smth for the last phase/the whole story and is the reason why his health bar is huge OR that after the akira boss battle he rejoins the team and things switch back to his pov and he's the one who has to go beat that god himself, finally letting his feelings out on the being that caused his suffering

but that's all i have hehe. open to hear ideas on how to progress with that. i just want goro to interact with naoto and ken in the canon universe tbh. and for akira's trauma to be acknowledged and i think a post canon game like that is a great opportunity for that, especially when you consider royal's ending and how it only makes sense for him to be this fucked up in the future

i also think the idea that anyonee can become distorted and destructive as a result is a good one that helps highlight p5s's themes and brings an interesting twist on the base game and royal. the unfairness thing connects well to both maruki (who has no reason to be in this game, but the echos of his actions are surely felt) and goro (who should be the replacement protag imo, and this can serve as a mirror to him in a more raw and direct way)

tldr: hire me atlus

[diary-from-a-thoughtful-girl]

stanford boy and breakups

Oliver and I broke up officially close to a month ago. For some reason and also for reasons I've overanalyzed, I'm not as sad as I feel like I should be and I feel pretty guilty about it. I almost feel relieved. I definitely still love him and have never lied to him about how I felt, but he just constantly would tell me nasty and purposefully hurtful things that resonated and genuinely killed me. He's been begging me to give him a second chance and the temptation is horribly so present, but I need this time for myself. He told me that I should have the respect to tell him if I hooked up with someone else and I lied and told him I didn't. I could hear how much it would hurt him and being a shit person and so so selfishly, I didn't want to forever lose him. It's been weighing on me though and I feel like an absolute piece of shit who will rot in hell because of it. I should tell him, I have to tell him... I do love him, I just need the time for myself.

In lighter tones, single life has been weird and interesting. I'm visiting home right now. Although my grades are absolute shit and I'm having a crisis on what I want to do with my life and have been a little scared if I'm going to be struggling my whole life, I've been pretty good. Being by myself has become comforting rather than depressing during my freshman year of college. I'm starting to journal as you can see, I've been talking to friends I lose contact with, and I've been reading a good amount.

Recently, I've finished The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo (3.8/5), Verity (2.3/5 - just because I hate scary stuff), and One Day (4.7/5). One Day had the potential to be my favorite book ever, it had thought processes that were similar to mine and written anecdotes that just made you wanting more and whole-heartedly rooting for Em and Dex to get together. The negative is that we barely got to see them together which is fine, but then Dex dated the manager of his store after the love of his life died. What the fuck is that?? A book love or true love that ends in one of them dying should leave the other scarred for life. The significant other shouldn't be able to move on. They should live the rest of their life in sorrow, constantly thinking about them. Is that toxic? I think anyone whose together for more than seven years or older than 40 years old. I don't know. I'm only nineteen.

I've been home for about a week and am leaving to go back to college in a week. I knew this before, but I only had Oliver to hang out with here so I've been annoying my sister a good amount. With being around her in her environment, I've realized that she's probably my best friend, but I am not hers. She's at the age where she's bitchy and feels above literally everything which is the most annoying thing in the world. She's still someone who makes me genuinely die from laughter, I just hope she grows out of it. One thing that I'm addicted to is how we look walking around, especially where I am in college. Because we're styling and young (and maybe because we're asian), we get stares and comments of flattery. Although I'm being vain, I completely adore it. I get them with other people in my life, but it's always more fun and more a scene from a movie when it's with your sister. I've also never cared about fashion until her. Now I'm obsessed with it and have a shopping addiction.

I haven't been doing much at home. I downloaded a dating app and have some guilt about it with Oliver. Anyways, along with Tik Tok, they have been so addictive with people liking how I look, giving me cheesy compliments, meaningless conversations, and the feeling of being validated - all with a swipe of a finger. It's so much judgment solely based on somebody's physical attributes. It's honestly horrible and I'm never going to find anyone serious on here and there's a big part of me that hates it, but I am so so addicted to it.

It's also where I met LB. I went to high school with him and we've been in the same classes or group projects, but we didn't really know each other. It didn't stop us though from swiping right and from him messaging me "Haha no way what's good" as if we were lifelong friends that were rekindling a friendship and was the validation that he knew who I was. He flirted with me, I flirted back - making up the story that I watched a scary movie and that I was scared so that he would respond with being the protective man who held me while I was scared. One thing that girls learn easily is that men are so predictable when you know they think you're attractive and want to hook up with you to some degree (which is exactly what Tinder gives you). I was still nervous as I haven't hooked up with anyone since Oliver. I had anxiety about it and kept ranting about it to M and C.

But, even though I barely knew him, I felt safe with him and knew I could get over my first hook-up after Oliver with L. I obviously didn't and will never tell L that, but it was true. My anxiety pushed it off as far as it could with still constant snapchats and boring talks about work and what the other was doing and excuses that came about in my family and the lack of car. Then, he snapchatted me saying that he was leaving that day and if I wanted to hang out.

I knew that if I was going to do this, I would have to make that decision quickly. I was able to pull off seeing him at the very last minute I could due to my anxiety with the lack of responding from me and the bringing up of having my sister. This changed almost completely when I saw him.

I remember him from high school - this gigantic teddy bear jock who, besides looking cluelessly around in APUSH and seeming like he doesn't have a care in the world, was annoyingly smart. Looking at him now, he's gotten more attractive with kept facial hair, routine hair cuts, and a body that became more built somehow.

But, what I thought was his lack of care before became nervousness by the moment he sat down next to me at the beach. It was adorable and with his nerves came my confidence. We talked like we were old friends that lost touch. I put on my best attentive looks while pretending like I didn't know that he was on the Stanford Football team and that that wasn't the most attractive thing in the world for me. Athleticism and intelligence - I get so obsessed.

When our catching up came to a close, he offered to drive me home which I gratefully, and expectantly, accepted. We walked around 4 blocks talking about how we wanted dogs and I could feel the intentional movements towards me. His hand would graze mine that would send a wave of excitement through me. Honestly, I loved it. Loved how easily he made me laugh and how he thought he was being smooth. He tried putting his arm around me, but I personally hate when any guy does that. It's awkward - your arm is heavy, weighing and messing up my hair and I clearly have a bag. Anyway, we got to his car which was a mini cooper - nearly the opposite type of car I'd think he would have. He threw my bag as well as my towel I lent him into his trunk. I climbed into his passenger seat, telling myself to breath and that he was as nervous as me.

He started driving in the direction of my house. I pretended like I was interested in stick shift which he could definitely see through. By the way, stick shift sucks. It was starting and stopping then starting and stopping. When we got onto the highway, his hand touched my thigh, his fingers tracing my skin. I could feel my breathing become shallow as my mind attached to his hand. When he had to change gears, I was able to focus on whatever stupid thing we were talking about. It went on like this and I became to resent stick shift. L was able to put me into this trance where I was so aware of his hand and the soft touch that he had then he would have to change gears.

The only thing was that I had no idea what to do with my hands. His arm and hand took most of the space in the tiny mini cooper so I awkwardly sat there with my arms crossed. He was inching towards where I wanted him to go and when the stick shift finally let him, I felt that feeling in the pit of my stomach that craved him. I didn't know how much I wanted it until my mouth fell open and my head tilted back. I began to loath myself for not shaving and claiming that I was on my period. I think he could tell that I was getting turned on because when he asked me where I wanted to go, his voice became darker, rougher, and more attractive then I could imagine.

We ended up going to the pool house in my neighborhood. I won't be disgusting and share details, but in the middle of it, after I, regrettingly, told him I was self-conscious about not shaving, he grabbed the waistband of my jeans and, mumbling to himself and to me, growled saying, "I'm sorry, but I need to touch you". I genuinely became weak. Like jello. I've had those words said to me, but to be told by basically a stranger was the most hottest thing ever. Something I never thought would happen was that my moans and my whimpers were matching his. When it was over and he was driving me back, he filled the silence with thank you's which pissed me off. Don't thank me like I did a service for you, it was a mutual thing.

It's been around three days and I keep randomly thinking about him. Not in an emotional way or in an attached way, but in a thinking about the way he wanted me way and the fact that I'll never see him again. Honestly, if all hook ups were like that, I would do it all the time.

I'm curious if I"ll ever see him again. Kind of scared that he thought of my insecurities too much, but I'm not going to get into that. If I ever do see him, you'll know about it. That's it for right now. Suddenly feeling embarrassed about all of this.

[bluemoonlagoon94]

Death

I am 29 years old. This month I've had a close friend CS, a neighbor who died from a stroke in his home, and a non-biological uncle pass away suddenly. I think the most traumatizing death I've had to deal with out of the three was my friend who CS because he didn't mention that he had a plan and that he wouldn't leave his seven-year-old daughter that way. Even though he was severely depressed, and we all urged him to seek help I do not believe he sought an adequate amount of treatment in time, kept attending his NA meetings, or reliably took the medication that was prescribed to him by a medical professional. I knew him for 12 years.

The second death was my neighbor who suffered a stroke in his home and was not found until a least 24-36 hours later. It was too late to save him and he was given the choice whether he wanted to live or die. He chose death, and I do not blame him for choosing this because I would have chosen the same thing. He and his partner watched me grow up and babysat me for several years. I knew him for 19 years.

The third death was my uncle, not an uncle by blood but by family relations. He died unexpectedly where he lived and my mother is grieving over this loss since she knew him since she was born, I also knew him since I was born but did not feel as attached to his death as I did the other two. I knew him for 29 years.

Each death has brought forth different emotions for me. disenfranchised grief, and the typical grief many would expect. But I can't stop to grieve for too long because I have papers to write, things to do, and tests to pass so I can hopefully help people like my neighbor or friend who CS. Hopefully if anything, I will be able to save at least one person in my career as a nurse from various health conditions. I feel at peace for now, distracted, but peaceful overall because at least my friend is no longer in pain, my neighbor had a choice, and hopefully, my uncle passed in his sleep from something that was swift.

Yes, I seek my psychiatrist regularly and I believe him to be somewhat of a mentor at this point. I've also seen a psychologist to see how I've been processing everything. unfortunately, being a somewhat poor college student for the past decade I can only see my psychiatrist because of budgeting.

On top of everything else, my classmate is managing her own mental illness and recently was prescribed new medication which could be contributing to her memory loss. She's feeling alone and lost, she also tried to CS about a month and a half ago. I called the crisis line after she did not respond to me asking if she was safe twice. I suggested to her that she should go to the hospital but she promptly stopped replying to me. I feel like I've done everything I physically can to help including notifying people in charge who are also concerned about her wellbeing. Now feeling like the only thing to do left in step back and focus on myself and my work on my journey to being a nurse or risk failing at this goal I have to be a psychiatric Nurse Practitioner.

This has been a whirlwind of a month, hopefully, I've been doing the "right thing", but what is the "right thing" anyway? I'm just trying to finish this semester strong which has been significantly difficult. I don't know who else in my class is going through as much stuff as I've been going through. I keep wondering what my professors think of me if I'll make a good nurse...a smart nurser who can think critically, logically, and prioritize accurately. I probably won't know.

[buddienights]

Continuation of the TA grindr au (now from Eddie’s point of view).

Honestly, Eddie had completely forgotten he had grindr still on his phone. He hadn’t even meant to use it — ever. But one of his friends when he was doing his BA and having a subsequent big damn bi crisis (to the tune of, “wait why would you interpret Achilles and Patroclus’s relationship as romantic? Isn’t that just like…relatively normal bro stuff?” “…if this is what you’ve been like with your male friends in the past, maybe you should come with me to the queer club meet-up. It might help.”) had installed Grindr for him and helped him set up his profile.

And then Eddie had forgotten all about it until that message from Firehose91. He’d honestly meant to delete it but the combination of the profile picture and the username had been, ah, illustrative. The trouble was, the picture was not of Firehose91’s face. It was partly of his lower abs — the only truly identifying mark a tattoo of a human head with an anatomical heart where the brain should be which would never help Eddie pick him out of a crowd — and partly of the upper section of his briefs, with his hand (large, masculine, calloused like he’d maybe done something manual before college) cupping — or, or maybe gripping was the better word? In any case, uh, handling the probable source of his username.

It was a hell of a way to advertise himself, and Eddie wasn’t one to judge or slut shame or anything, what other people did with their spare time was their business, no matter how mystifying he sometimes found it. But it was a mouthwatering picture and Eddie was better friends with his right hand than he’d care to be and so he didn’t delete the message or the app and if maybe he looked at it every once in a while that was between him and God.

He…really had not been prepared for firehose91 to be one of his students. It was comforting that he was apparently 25, but there were a whole collection of non traditional undergrads in the two sections of this class he was teaching, and yeah, firehose91 had also emailed him that night, but so had a dozen other students with questions about the study guide.

So Eddie tries not to think about it. He doesn’t message firehose91 again to ask for his name. Just to put a face with his— And he doesn’t scan the hands of everyone who turns in their scantron at the midterms for familiar callouses.

Anyway, he comes away from the midterms with three candidates.

There’s Jason Calhoun in the Monday, Wednesday section who’s a little bulkier than the guy in firehose91’s picture but the picture could be old the way Eddie’s is. There’s Kaidan Androshuk, also in the Monday, Wednesday section who seems maybe just a little older than 25, but within a reasonable boundary. And there’s Evan Buckley in the Wednesday, Friday section, who is almost certainly 25, has the right build, and also an endearing birthmark over his left eye.

Eddie doesn’t think about which it might be while he processes midterm grades. All three of them pass, some a little better than others — although only two students out of all 200 in the two sections fail, which makes Eddie a little proud — and Eddie is considering sending Firehose91 a “congrats on passing” message when Firehose91 beats him to the punch.

Firehose91: thanks for the study advice. It worked! I passed!

SunnyD: I’m glad to hear it and that I’m not a completely incompetent teacher

Firehose91: definitely not incompetent. Little bit distracting though 😉

Firehose91: sorry, sorry, I promised myself I wasn’t gonna hit on you until after the finals were graded

SunnyD: I don’t know what to say to that

Firehose91: I’m just teasing, I won’t hit on you at all, youre my instructor its kinda weird. Significantly less weird than it is when any of the kids I teach tell me I look like a Disney prince but

SunnyD: kids you teach?

Firehose91: oh! Yeah I’m an early childhood education major. I’m gonna teach either kindergarten, first, or second once I finish my degree and get a job. Right now I’m student teaching first graders and they’re all hilarious

SunnyD: you don’t happen to know anything about assistive kindergarten programmes in LA do you

Firehose91: actually I do!

Firehose91 gives him a whole list of programmes to look at, some specified by different type of assistance depending on the needs of the child, some of which will work for Christopher and some which won’t, and Eddie almost cries. Especially when Firehose91 points out that all of it is incredibly frustrating to find if you’re not already in the system, which Eddie isn’t.

It’s so damn helpful and for no reason, without any sort judgement, and forget the inappropriate thoughts Eddie’s had about his picture, Eddie sort of just wants to hug him. Which would be a different type of inappropriate. And then Firehose91 offers to just email him a whole write up of all this rather than trusting it to the ephemeral state of Grindr messages and Eddie agrees before he realises this will reveal Firehose91’s identity.

It’s not the sort of thing Eddie’s allowed to think about — really, really doesn’t want to think about — but he hopes, just a little, that firehose91 is Evan Buckley.

[starlightxsvt]

3 dates | c.sc

pairing ➳ badboy!Seungcheol x female!reader

genre ➳ badboy au, romance, some fluff, angst, bad attempt at humour, gets spicy at the end.

word count ➳ 12.4k+ (i have NO idea how this became so long so strap in for a ride)

warnings ➳ cursing, mentions of killing, mentions criminal activities, slight violence(non explicit), smoking, ma man Seungcheol ain't your typical badboy, self doubt, blackmailing, reader does all sorts of risky things cuz she's a SIMP, blood(nothing explicit), kissing, marking, some breast worshipping, grinding, reader is horny lol. (Please lemme know if I forgot anything.)

synopsis ➳ after one fateful encounter with him you cannot get him out of your head. so you opt to do some crazy things to catch his attention and even snag a few dates with him. only trouble is he isn't the type to stay after the whole disposition is over.

Swirling the third drink in your hand you heave yet another depressed sigh. You are so tired that you feel like you can just slump on the counter and pass out. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to stop for a drink, you alcohol riddled brain thinks.

The plans you had with Katelyn was cancelled last moment; she called to tell you that her thesis submission date was moved forward and so she couldn't hang out with you tonight. You're in the middle of an existential crisis quite literally, the too many part time jobs yet still lack of money and copious amounts of study getting to you. Staring hard at your drink you contemplate if it is worth giving up on college and your dream of becoming an arts major. It sure feels tempting right now, the long hours at the diner and not enough sleep at night proving to be the worst nuisance.

Sighing you put down your drink. It's still early, you should go home and try to catch up on the much needed sleep. You really had no intention of grabbing a drink tonight; you have morning classes tomorrow but you made a last moment decision to stop for a drink on your way back home. You didn't take your usual route to home today, and while trudging through the streets tiredly you came across this bar called Seventeen's. You've heard stories about this place, how it is the home to local gangs and how it's bad people's turf and what not. Your curiosity, probably too much of that made you get inside for a drink even though all the bones in your body ached. The inside is what you expected, nowhere near fancy but dingy, just decent enough. The people inside didn't look friendly and if the chains and tattoos on them gave any indication you'd say the rumours are true; this is the turf of gangs. The drinks taste decent, not the best but not the worst and from the overall look of this place you don't really have a reason to come back.

You're about to stand up from your stool when a large, clammy hand grabs your wrist out of nowhere, making you jump. "Hey sexy, sit down. Let me buy you a drink," the owner of the hand, a large, tattooed middle aged man slurs making your nose scrunch out of disgust. You're wearing nothing that can be called sexy; a plain cardigan and jeans and the way he looks you up and down makes you want to poke his eyes out.

You really shouldn't have come here. Clenching your jaw, you meet his eyes, "What makes you think I'm interested to have a drink with you?"

"Oh come on, why would you be here then, lookin' all nice? Just sit down," the man drawls, an ugly smile on his face. He still hasn't let go of your wrist and it's making you impatient. Looks like you're gonna have to kick his balls tonight. Maybe the self defense classes didn't completely go to waste.

"Get your disgusting hands off me while I'm being nice, sleazeball," you hiss at him, trying to get his hand off. The man stands up growling, "What did you say you bitch?" You're preparing to break his nose when out of nowhere a punch lands on his face that sends him tumbling to the ground. The attacker gets on top of him and twists his arm and you can literally hear a bone snap.

Shit.

"I think she said she is not interested," the man hisses, landing yet another another hit on his face before kicking his groin and getting up. When he turns around and his eyes meet yours, your heart skips a few beats and you almost The man is drop dead gorgeous, someone you would not expect to see here but probably on the cover of a high end magazine. His blond hair is long, crossing the nape of his neck as well as some covering his forehead. What takes your breath away the most is his eyes, the most beautiful pair you've ever seen. They seem to have their own galaxies in them, so deep and mesmerising and decorated with lashes long enough to make you jealous. His dress up, black jacket and jeans, immediately tells you what he is; a gang member.

"You should get home, lady," He speaks in a no nonsense tone, his face cold as ice. But you're offended. "Excuse me? Who are you calling lady? You make it sound like I'm old." You puff your cheeks and cross your arms, trying to appear intimidating. "Besides I had the situation under control, you didn't need to butt in." The man keeps looking at you with that no nonsense look, his features displaying annoyance if you are right and he's clearly not intimidated. The dude on the floor grunts and makes an effort to get up, only to be kicked by your saviour once more. "Hey Mingyu, get him out of here. What was this piece of trash doing here anyway?" The man orders to someone before turning to look at you, "Do you live far?"

"Uh- no, a ten minutes walk from here maybe," you reply unsurely, surprised at his question. The blond haired man nods before grabbing your wrist, "I'll walk you home. Hurry up, lady." You have a feeling he's purposely calling you that and though you start following him out of the bar, you make grunts of protest.

"Oh yeah, why? Trying to find out my address? So you can come later and hurt me like that guy?" You would not be this brazen if it wasn't for the alcohol in your system, after all the man next you isn't a friendly one if the rumours are true. The man raises a brow at you, "Did you do something that requires me to beat you up?" You hiccup at his serious tone. Does he not get a joke? He lets go of your hand now that you're at a safe distance from the bar but still stays close enough to you as your steps are rather stumbling and messy. You aren't fully drunk but your body is tired and feels like will shut down any second.

You really need some sleep.

"You know I'm not that drunk. You don't have to walk me home." You complain. "I'm walking you home because this isn't a nice place you should be alone at night. What happened earlier could happen again." He says not looking at you. "Mhmm," you keep on trudging behind him, "Thank you so much for your kind gesture, sir." You mock him but he doesn't reply, staring straight ahead, completely ignoring you as he walks quietly. In silence you two walk the rest of the path, before finally stopping as your apartment comes into view. At this point it feels like your bones will break and you will plop down on the concrete any second, but you manage to keep standing. "Well, thanks for walking me home." You shift your weight from one foot to another. "And for helping me back there." He shrugs coolly, a bored expression on his face. He's turning to walk away when you call, "Hey- I didn't get your name."

"What do you need it for?" He side glances at you. You shrug, "I don't know. You helped me so I thought it'd be nice to know your name." "You don't need to. Go inside, lady." He says, his tone final and starts marching away. You wait a couple moments before yelling, "Asshole!" and quickly rushing inside your building, partly afraid he's gonna come back.

You won't be surprised if you get killed tonight.

-

"So you are telling me Choi Seungcheol walked you home?" Katelyn screams in your ear, jolting up from her seat, earning glares from other people at the library in the process. "That's his name?" You whisper-yell, grabbing her hand to pull her back down. "I'm guessing from the blond hair you said," Katelyn shrugs. "Uh huh." You mean back in your chair, "He was hot though."

"Is that seriously all you have to say?" Katelyn whines exasperatedly. "No, I mean, if it wasn't for the way he dresses or talks I would have thought he's a model or something." You murmur.

"Are you sure he didn't hurt you?" Katelyn questions. "Hell no!" You frown. "He saved me from that creepy old dude. I was surprised too. I wish I didn't drink so much, I could have gotten a better look at his face," you sigh. "Seriously?" Katelyn raises a brow at you.

"Girl, you should have seen him. His aura and the way he carried himself was...so hot." You grin to yourself. Katelyn watches you like you've grown two heads. "Are you trying to tell me you have a crush on that gangster?" You smile sheepishly, "Maybe, I mean it's harmless. He was broody yet charming and I'm a girl so.... Also, it's not like he likes me too and is gonna come running whenever I ask him to bang me." You mutter.

"Oh he's gonna break your bones and bang your skull against a wall. That's what he's gonna do."

"Come on! Maybe he isn't so bad. Maybe the rumours are just rumours. Maybe he just looks intimidating and dresses up like that and people thinks he's a gangster." "Really? His name is on every bad thing that happens around here. From illegal racing to murders. Do you know that people say he has killed too?" "Like I said, rumours," you shrug being your stubborn self. Katelyn holds her hands up in surrender, "You know what? It doesn't matter. I'm glad you're alive so let's just put this behind us, shall we?" You don't reply but wiggle your brows at her, a conspirational look on your face. "Oh no, don't look at me like that," Katelyn warns. "Let's go to that bar tonight. Please?" You give her your best puppy eyes. "What are you? Fucking crazy? You wanna get killed?" She whisper-yells, scowling at you. "No. I just wanna take another look at him. Without the alcohol in my system you know. Besides, the place isn't that bad." You reply.

"Well then get killed by yourself. I'm not coming with you."

"I'll help you with your papers for the rest of the semester."

"Shit."

-

"Well, looks like your wish won't be coming true," Katelyn muses chugging down her fourth glass as you keep playing with your first one. It's nearing an hour since you've come to the bar and there has been no sign of the man you desperately seek. The place is exactly like it was the other day, filled with people who you wouldn't want to mess with.

Yet here you are.

"Let's call it a night," Katelyn sighs. "We're just wasting our time." You know that too but you don't want to leave; not just yet. You are well aware that this is just pathetic but you've this crazy urge to see that man once again. You don't know why you feel this way; you never felt like this before. Why are thinking yourself to death about a complete stranger? Has some kind of spell been casted on you?

"Yeah, let's get going," you murmur half heartedly. You help your friend stand up as she's a little wobbly on her feet and together you make your way through the door. "Should we call a cab?" You ask Katelyn. She shakes her head no and you nod, you arms wrapped around hers to support her in case she looses her balance. You start stepping away from the bar and towards the road to her place until a noise from behind makes you stop in your tracks.

"Did you hear that?" You ask, whipping your head behind. There's no one around and the street is mostly dark other than the light flashing from the name of the bar. You hear the sound once again and this time you can locate where it's coming from. There's an abandoned playground at the back of the bar and you've a feeling that's the source.

Katelyn hisses as she sees you step towards there. "What are you doing!"

"Didn't you hear that?"

"Yes I did. That's why I say we leave!" You ignore her and cautiously keep on stepping forward, mentally cursing yourself for wearing heels. Katelyn follows behind you murmuring all kinds of warnings. "You know curiosity killed the cat, right?" She whispers.

You roll your eyes, "Well I'm not a cat. Just- be quiet. It can be nothing." You both move past the bar gingerly and towards the playground at the back. There are old gallons of oil and abandoned materials just around the corner and you two quickly hide among them. It takes you a while to get adjusted to the low light after you poke your head up from the hiding spot.

You're eyes fix on him immediately. His blond hair makes him easily recognisable amid the darkness. There is a few more people around him, all kicking something in the ground. Not something, but someone. The man lying on the ground groans in pain and you realize this is what you both heard. "Shit," You hear Katelyn curse from beside you. "We need to get going." Instead of replying, you keep your eyes trained on the scene unfolding, holding your breath. You're tranced. Seungcheol lands continuous punched on the guy laying below him and after a moment his writhing frame seems to stop moving as it falls limp.

Fuck.

"You know in movies this is the part where people get caught." Katelyn whispers, her voice hoarse and her hand clutching yours in a tugging motion. "Uh-huh. But I can't seem to move. I wonder if he's... really dead." You whisper back. "Are you fucking crazy!" She hisses. "You wanna witness murder?"

Before you can reply you hear a sound that echoes through the empty field and it takes a second for you two to realise that it came from any one of you two. You don't have the time to figure out who made it as you both are crawling away from the playground without looking back, head crouched low to avoid being seen. You don't know if they heard that or if they're coming behind you, you both just keep scrambling, moving until you're past the corner. As soon as possible you both get on your feet and run like the grim reaper is chasing you, stopping only when you are far enough from the bar.

"I am never listening to you again!" Katelyn yells.

-

It's been a good few days since your near death experience and you somehow find yourself in front of that bar once again. You and Katelyn have not brought up that incident after that night. You made yourself believe that it was over and came to a conclusion that it is better to forget that man and leave all of it behind, no matter how much your heart disagreed. But it's easier said than done; you may not mention him out loud but in the back of your mind you think of him. He's like a ghost, haunting you all the time, plagueing your thoughts when you go to bed at night. It felt like he was ever existent and there was an itch in your heart that drove you insane.

Maybe that's why your subconscious brought you here, in front of Seventeen's, once again. You were on your way back home from library and you thought you took your usual route, until you realized you were standing in front of that place. But what is even terrifying is that the man haunting your mind stands in front of the entrance of the bar and you blink a few times to make sure you are not hallucinating. He's leaned against the entrance door, cigarette between his lips and from his pocket he fetches a lighter to light the poison in his mouth.

Damn, lighting up a cigarette never looked this sexy.

He hasn't seen you yet and you contemplate running the other way. That's the sensible thing to do but you, not being a sensible person, start walking towards him. Your footsteps make him look up and notice you and like the last time, there is no expression on his face. It's the same bored yet handsome face except now in daylight you can take a better look at him and this time, you notice a little mole on the left of his face, by his nose. Realising he's gonna stay silent you decide to speak, "Hi... It's me... Do you remember me?" Wow. That's such an intelligent thing to ask.

With the monotoned yet serious expression on his face, he goes, "Why won't I? I don't have Alzheimer's."

So he can joke.

You laugh, an awkward, probably exaggerated laugh. "What are you doing here? Did you not learn your lesson last time?" He cuts to the chase, his voice brassy and deep, almost threatening. You want to roll your eyes. "Who are you to say? I can be wherever I want whenever I want, thank you very much." "Well then, have fun getting in trouble like last time." He's nonchalant as he blows a smoke right past you and stands up straight, turning away. "Wait!" You almost grab his hand, desperate to stop him.

What is wrong with you? Your subconscious slaps her forehead. What are you holding him back for? To say 'hello sir, I think you're hot, can you please put your dick inside me'? Seungcheol turns his head back, his eyebrow cocked up.

Why do you find everything about him so attractive?

"Um...I know your name, Seungcheol." You speak, trying to sound intimidating, like knowing his name gives you some power over him. There's something definitely wrong with you which is why you don't want him to leave just yet and which is why you're stalling time. But it seems to have done the job as he pulls the cigarette out of his mouth and turns towards you, an annoyed look on his face. "How do you know that?" The timbre of his tone is deep and it rakes shivers down your spine. "Well, you've built quite a reputation for yourself so it isn't hard to get your name." You shrug coolly. "Well, if you know so much about my reputation, you should know what I'm capable of." His lone is low, almost threating as he starts to take slow steps towards you making you step back out of reflex.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Maybe you will also end up like the curious cat.

"Oh yes, I know. People have got a lot to say about you," you try to sound unfazed, not meeting his eyes that you feel are burning holes on your face. "What are you doing here, lady?" he asks slowly, pausing between each word and glaring at you as he continues to step forward. You can feel his patience thinning.

"I swear to God if you call me that-"

"What are you doing here?" This time his tone is scary, too scary. It makes you lose the ability to speak for a second as his dark gaze bores into you. He has backed you up against the wall behind you and you swallow. Right, what are you doing here? It probably has something to do with a very hot individual and his insanely attractive aura. Scratch that you are a hundred percent sure it has something to do with the blond haired, enticing man in front of you. He's driving you mad and you need to get your fill of him.

"Go out with me," you state and you are sure you've never spoken words more stupid than that. Internally, you cringe and pray that the ground below you would open and take you straight to the fiery pits.

This is the first time you see some sort of expression come across his face; surprise. He looks utterly shocked and somewhat confused. His mouth opens just a little and he squints at you, "What?"

There's no going back now.

"Go out with me. Let's go on three dates." you say once more, looking him in the eye. He seems to appear even more surprised, a dumbstruck look sitting on his face. He observes you quietly for a while and you can feel the gears in his head shifting. You wonder what he's gonna say next. Or maybe he won't say anything but bang your head on the wall and leave you to die alone. "I'm sorry I'm not following," he looks genuinely perplexed. "I want to go on three dates with you. They say after three dates you can figure out whether you like that person or not and I think I like you so..."

I think I like you.

The biggest understatement of the year.

Seungcheol tilts his head, an amused expression on his face as he studies you, those sharp eyes of his settling on yours, "What is your deal, sweetheart?" He crosses his arms, a brow raised. Sweetheart? That's new. And definitely better than lady. You can't deny how hearing him call you that makes your insides melt. "Nothing. I just want to date you," you shrug, trying to keep your wits together. His proximity is driving you wild; you can sniff a faint smell of cologne and cigarette, him being inches away from you. This time he laughs loudly, a mocking laugh you'd say. "Who sent you?"

Oh my god.

You roll your eyes. "Nobody sent me! Do I look like I'm a gang member or something?" "Then I don't see a reason why you'd want to date me," He states, throwing a challenging look at you.

"What if I said I have a thing for bad boys?"

He snorts. "You don't look the type to date bad boys," he mocks. "Who are you to say that?" You cross your arms. "I want to date you because I think you're hot, okay?" You can not believe you just said that. Looks like you don't have control over your mouth anymore. Warmth spreads throughout your face like a forest fire.

Seungcheol narrows his eyes on you, his tongue poking his cheek as he stands in front of you as if trying to read your mind. After a beat he sighs before looking at you, his eyes becoming darker than usual and his gaze unforgiving. "Hey. Does it look like I'm playing house here? Do you have any idea about the shit I do? The dirty work I do? I don't care if you have a fucking fetish or whatever but this is the last time I'm warning you. I don't want to see you around again. If I see you here once more, you're in fucking trouble," he spits and starts stomping away. His tone is serious and you know very well he is not joking, which is why you use your last resort. You're embarrassed at yourself for being so desperate but at the same time you feel shameless. It has almost turned into a game at this point, you want to make him surrender. That's right, you want him to give in. "You shouldn't be like that with me. I saw you, a few days ago. That night, when you and your friends were beating up that guy...in the playground," you casually stroll to come stand right behind him.

You can't believe you are blackmailing a gangster. Your death must be near.

Seungcheol whips his head back, his eyes glaring at you and you can almost see fire in them. Finally, you got his attention.

"My friend also saw it, we both did. You killed him, didn't you? Me and my friend witnessed a murder. What do you say? Should we go to the station?" You can see his jaw clench and you can't hold back a victorious smirk. Moments pass by as your words hang in the air and the tension between you gets thicker. Yet once more he surprises you, breaking the silence with a chuckle, "Well I killed one person, what makes you think I can't take care of another?"

You swallow.

"Well, my friend already knows so if I go missing you can be sure that the cops will come to you first." You throw back at him.

When did you get so wreckless?

Seungcheol stares at you for a few more seconds before shrugging and moving his hand dismissively, "Well then go tell the cops. I don't give a shit." He starts walking back to the bar leaving you starstruck. He stops and turns towards you before opening the door, "Also, I meant it. I hope I don't see you around. Otherwise I may just have to hurt that pretty face."

-

You don't show up after that.

Mostly because you are embarasssed.

It's been a good while after your last encounter with Seungcheol and you didn't go to the police, obviously. Because you don't have evidence and from what you've heard Seungcheol is pretty influential around here and you don't need to go to an extent to get on his bad side. You're definitely gonna end up dead if you do so, which you don't want just yet.

Classes have just finished and you and Katelyn step out of the classroom together, walking through the hallways and into the main campus. She rambles on about some bad sushi she ate yesterday while your mind remains preoccupied. Maybe you need to get laid. Maybe that'll make you forget about Seungcheol. You just need good dick that's probably why you were so desperate for him.

That's just a stupid lie.

You don't realise Katelyn is calling you until she shakes you by the shoulder and you snap back into reality. You notice her face is as pale as a ghost and following her line of sight your eyes stop on him.

Him. Seungcheol.

What?

You double take, blinking furiously to confirm your vision. He's standing there, in the parking area of your uni, leaned against a convertible Ferrari, a cigarette between his lips. He looks relaxed, like he does this regularly. Students whisper in each others ear while gawking at him curiously. "What did you do!" Katelyn yells. "Nothing!" You hiss back.

"Then why is he here!"

"I don't know!"

Your eyes meet with Seungcheol's and a smirk spreads across his face making you shiver. He stands up straight and tilts his head, an indication for you to come closer to him. "Fuck, he's here for me," you mumble. "Of course he's here for you, dumbass," Katelyn snaps. "Well, if I don't return, you know who killed me." You sigh starting to walk towards him. "Wait- you're going with him?" She asks incredulously.

"Don't worry. I'll keep my phone on. I don't think he's gonna murder me, I mean there are so many witnesses." You inhale deeply, leaving behind a lost looking Katelyn.

Seungcheol says nothing as you stand right in front of him raising an inquisitive brow but he only holds open the door for you to get in. Deciding to follow him you enter the car quietly and a wave of gasps go through the crowd.

There's gonna be talk about this tomorrow.

Seungcheol, still smirking victoriously for some reason rounds the car and gets inside and within seconds you're hitting the road. There's a thick silence for a while, which feels like ages to you. You're overwhelmed, bewildered to say anything; your poor brain still processing what is happening. You're nervous, jittery as you fiddle with you bag and look out on your side, for some reason scared to look at him.

What if he really kills you? He wouldn't, right?

"You're awfully quiet," Seungcheol says matter of factly as he spares you a glance while driving.

"I'm... processing."

"What are you, a robot?"

"Why are you doing this?" You question instead.

"Doing what?"

"Okay, you know very well what I mean. Why are you picking me up from uni all of a sudden? How do you even know I'm a student there?" "I have resources and...you didn't protest at all. You came along nicely," Seungcheol raised a brow at you, a cocky smile on his lips. You don't answer but continue to stare at him, trying to pin him down with your gaze. He finally sighs and pulls the car to a stop by the side of the road, the sudden brake making you slightly jerk in your seat. "I've decided to give you those 3 dates. That's why," He is calm, unreadable and you wonder if this is a prank. Then again, he has no reason to prank you, does he? "Really?" Your voice comes out breathy. "Yes. I thought I'd give you a taste of how it feels to be with someone like me. I can scare people without physically hurting them you know," He says in a menacing tone.

"So what? You're taking me to an underground fight or something?" You question. "Nah, we're keeping it simple today." He smirks as he starts the car again and turns on the radio, an indication that he doesn't want to converse anymore.

Shamelessly you take a good look at Seungcheol; he's dressed in another jacket today paired with a black tee underneath. Today, you notice he has upped his accessory game, his fingers full of rings and chains dangling from his neck. But what catches your attention is a tattoo, something like a dragon and words written in a language you don't understand, peeking from underneath his sleeve. You almost ask about it but decide it'll probably be too much and he wouldn't answer you anyway.

As you do so, in the back of your mind you think you should have dressed better, something cuter, more appropriate for a date rather than a plain blouse and jeans. But then again who knew Choi Seungcheol was gonna show up out of the blue. You're gnawing at your lower lip, lost in your thoughts when the car is pulled to a halt and you realize your ride is over. You're parked in front of a diner called Lacy's and from the vibe that the place is giving, you can tell that this is place where people like him hang out. You raise a questioning brow at Seungcheol who says, "I know it doesn't look fancy but trust me I has some of the best food I've ever eaten." Taking his words for now you quickly type out a text to Katelyn letting her know you're in one piece and get out of the car.

Once you're seated you look around the place which is relatively empty except some men playing pool at the far end. You watch Seungcheol who has gone to the reception booth to place your orders; his posture relaxed as he leans against the counter and talks to the girl standing there. They seem to know each other because their chat takes longer than it should and the girl has a shy, almost flirty smile on her face.

He probably fucks her.

You shake the thought off your head as the gangster comes back and sits in front of you. There's silence for a second as you wonder if you should just ask the questions that run free around your mind. "Are the rumours true?" You blurt out. He's raises a brow.

"About you. You know..."

"Do you want them to be true?" He asks back. "I don't...know," you reply. "Well, I think it depends on each person. If you want it to be true it is true, if you don't it isn't," he shrugs, leaning back in his chair. "Why don't you just give me a straight answer?" you snap. He smirks as if he's having fun but doesn't reply, watching you with his arms crossed. You roll your your eyes, blowing out an exasperated breath. "You know, I haven't seen one like you. Willingly hanging out with dangerous people, going to dangerous places. You say you saw me kill someone yet you're here. You're almost desperate to get in trouble," he observes. "I'm not desperate to get in trouble. I just...I'm just- attracted to you alright?" This is so embarrassing. You need to shut your mouth. "You've been on my mind ever since that night. I wanna see exactly how deep I'm into you." You bite your lip.

That's enough. You will boost his ego through the roof like this.

Seungcheol studies you for a bit before grinning cockily, "Well, if you didn't know, I am trouble baby. Just you being with me might end you up in a mess." Before you can reply, your food is served, that same girl from the booth setting down your plates and looking at Seungcheol for a bit too long with that same stupid smile which he returns. You don't know why but you feel jealous, jealous of whatever these two share, whatever she has with him.

You've lost your mind at this point. You're on a high that is Seungcheol. He has made you forget your morals, made you completely lose your mind. Or maybe you've been too good all your life and seeing him brought out that crazy, thrill seeking part of yourself.

Silently you dig into your food and as Seungcheol said, the food is really good. This is one of the best meatloaf you've ever had and you can't help but moan. Seungcheol watches you with an amused smile before popping a fry in his mouth.

"What's your major?" Seungcheol asks out of the blue.

"Uh- sociology."

"Mmhmm."

You're about to ask him what he studied in college but you assume he probably never went to one so you seal your lips. You wonder what his background is and who his parents are but you don't want to get too personal on the first day. So you ask something else, "How old are you?" He laughs out loud before he deadpans, "Thirty five." "What!" You almost choke.

There's no way he's-

"Why? What did you expect?"

"I... I don't know! A few years older than me? You're kidding right? You don't look thirty five." He has to be bluffing. "And how old would you be?" "You shouldn't ask a woman her age," you try to make a point. "Don't you have any manners?" He smirks,"I don't, sweetheart. To answer your question, I'm twenty eight."

Uh huh.

"Well, I'm twenty one," you mutter under your breath. You don't know if he hears it because he doesn't give any reaction, busy twirling a fry in sauce. The rest of your meal is full of silence as you wonder if your date will end like this; dry and boring. He's awfully silent and seems to be lost in thoughts as he doesn't engage in a conversation. You're about to take your last bite when the silence is broken by him.

"What did you see that night?" He leans over, his elbows resting on the table as he suddenly regards you with a sombre look, his earlier cockiness vanished. His eyes have once again gone dark and his demeanor says he's not being superficial right now. You're caught off guard as you cough loudly, reaching for your glass to take a sip of water. "What?"

"You heard me. What did you see that night? Exactly how much did you see?" He repeats. You're confused. You thought he didn't care about it. He said it didn't matter. So why is he bringing it up now? You've worked hard to push that night in the deepest part of your brain, pretending it didn't happen.

And then suddenly it clicks.

"You!" You point an accusatory finger at him as you catch on to his plan. "You've agreed to go out with me so that you can find out what I saw that night!" Seungcheol groans, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Ugh, just fucking tell me!" He snaps, annoyed that you've found out his little scheme. You scoff, "I thought you said you didn't care? Besides it's not like I'm going to tell the police." He rolls his eyes and leans back into the couch. "Just tell me and let me go."

You're baffled. His actions didn't make any sense and you actually thought he had no other intentions behind dating you but holy shit this sneaky bastard. "You sly little asshole!" You hiss at him. "Call me that once more and you'll regret it." He threatens. You roll your eyes sagging back into your seat, "Whatever." Then an idea hits you. "You know what, I'll tell you exactly how much I saw that night." You have Seungcheol's full attention now as he stares intensely at you, waiting for your next words. "On our third date. When this whole deal is over, I'll tell you. But in return you'll have to keep your promise and take me out on two more dates."

"Oh fucking hell," he groans rubbing his face in frustration. His state makes you smirk and you feel accomplished.

Choi Seungcheol is stressed because of you.

What a day to be alive.

You murmur, "Besides this isn't even a proper date. This was more like an interrogation. But I'll go easy on you and won't make you redo this date." You give him a sweet smile and he sees red. You can literally see fury blaze in his eyes. "Whatever!" He yells and abruptly stands up. "I don't have time for this. Your stupid play date is over. I'm dropping you home."

Before you can reply, he's marching towards the door. You've to admit this wasn't the best date but at least you've trapped Choi Seungcheol.

-

It has been a good week after your so called date at the diner and you haven't heard from him. You expected him to call or text you since he was gracious enough to ask for your number but he didn't. You now realize it was a mistake to not get his number; you had asked him for his when he took yours but being the prick he is he denied to hand over his number to you. You should have forced him to, you sigh. As you sit in the library the ping of your mobile distracts you from your racing thoughts as you realize you have a message. Picking the device up you tap on the notification. Even though it was from an unknown number, you have no trouble figuring out who it is from. A smile graces your lips as you read the words over again.

I'll pick you up from your house tomorrow evening at six.

That's all it says and that is good enough to send a thrum of excitement throughout your body.

-

You have not held back in dressing up today and you realize it's been a long time since you've dolled up yourself. A long before the clock strikes 6 you are ready; dressed in a cute pastel top and a matching skirt. You've also went ahead and applied makeup, not too much but just enough to maybe catch his eye. Maybe.

You wonder what he has planned for today.

A text from Seungcheol saying he's here has you flying out of your apartment as fast as your feet can carry your desperate self to see him. He stands in front of your apartment with his convertible, dressed in a white jacket that matched his pants. You take a deep breath before walking towards him, trying to calm all your nerves down.

"You know I expected to hear from you earlier. I've been waiting all week," you voice makes his head turn around to meet your eyes as you are skipping towards him with a teasing smile in your face. "I've been busy," he shrugs coolly, his eyes going over your whole body, from your legs to your face. He doesn't hide that he's taking a good look at you, in fact does it unashamedly.

You wonder if he likes what he sees.

Someone dressed up today," he comments. "Too bad we aren't going to a place where you can show off your pretty clothes." You frown, "Where are we going?" Seungcheol holds open the door, a mischievous smile on his face. "I've decided to grant your wish." With a confused face you get inside the car, the gears in your head running. What does he mean?

"I'm taking you to an underground fighting ring," he says with smirk as he reaches for something behind his seat. He pulls out a large hoodie and tosses it towards you, "Put this on. Otherwise you are going to attract a lot of attention and you don't want that." You gulp, taking the hoodie and putting it on you. You're slightly embarrassed. You were so excited to try this outfit but it's not like you knew he was taking you to a fight club. Hell you would have dressed like a guy if you knew. You shrug on the hoodie and it falls almost to your knees but it's huge and comfy and most importantly it smells like him. There's a hint of cologne, nothing too strong; a subtle, expensive scent that makes you want to take a deeper sniff. You wonder if you can keep this with you.

Stop it, pervert.

Seungcheol's voice pulls you out of your haze, "You can take it off later. Just wear it until we're out of there," he says and brings the engine to life.

Then you actually think about it. Underground fighting ring? Holy shit. You were only kidding when you mentioned it. Admittedly, you're shocked, somewhat horrified. Everyone knows it isn't the best place to be at especially for someone like you who never had such an experience. Seungcheol must have seen your expression because the smile on his face gets bigger, "Why? You not up for it?" His voice is teasing.

He's challenging you.

Oh well.

"Of course I'm up for it," you square your shoulders, keeping your voice cool. "Bring it on."

-

Seungcheol leads you into a bar and then through a door at the back that leads down to a lot of stairs, reaching a place similar to an underground parking lot. Quietly you follow Seungcheol, staying as close to him as possible, your bodies occasionally touching. He leads you to a pair of double doors and from the other side you can hear men shouting and chanting.

This is it, I guess.

Seungcheol throws one more smile at you before pushing open the doors as you scramble to follow him closely. The sight that greets you something you only see in movies. There's a boxing ring where two people are throwing punches at each other and surrounding them from all sides is a wild, loud and excited crowd. They continue to cheer loudly as the two men in the ring continue to box and you hear their grunts and groans.

Holy shit.

Swallowing your eyes meet Seungcheol's who is regarding you with curiosity. "What do you think?" He has to speak loudly for you to hear over the screaming throng. "Uh... It's loud," you say dumbly as you try to think of a reply. But it's too loud for you to even think properly as you take in your unfamiliar surroundings. You see a tall man approaching towards you and out of reflex you shuffle closer to Seungcheol until you realize it's his friend. The guy from the first night. He and Seungcheol grin at each other, patting their backs as they talk close to each others ears. You gawk at them curiously and realize they must be talking about you because his friend takes curious glances at you occasionally. His friend is tall, really tall and well built but unlike his body his face is sweet and puppy like, almost cute. When he grins his canines pop up just like a puppy and you wonder if all his friends are good looking.

After he's done chatting with his friend Seungcheol pulls you close and says, "This is my friend. Mingyu. Always stay near him, you hear me? Don't stray away unless you wanna get hurt." His eyes are stern as he pins you down with his stare but you have other thoughts running in your head.

"What do you mean? Where are you going?" You yell over the noise.

He just smirks at you and starts taking his jacket off. "About time you see how we do it around here." His tone is cocky as he hands his jacket to you, "Hold this for me. And stay close to him."

Giving a look at Mingyu Seungcheol starts walking away towards a door that you're guessing is the changing room.

He's gonna fight.

"Wait- but-" Mingyu stops you with a hand on your shoulder and offers you a kind smile. "It's fine. Just stay with me." He then ushers you towards the crowd, spotting a place where you can get a good look at the ring. "Do you guys do this often?" You look up at Mingyu. He smiles sheepishly, "Not me. I tried a few times and I always end up beaten to a pulp. But hyung does this often, he's really good."

"Uh huh, I'm sure he is," you smile dryly. "This is your first time watching a fight, no?" "Definitely." He grins, "Watch carefully then. It's really fun."

You have your doubts on how watching people beat each other up can be fun but you don't comment anything, instead chew on your lip anxiously. Seungcheol really didn't have to go this far? What if he gets hurt badly? Is he trying to impress you?

Don't flatter yourself, your subconscious rolls her eyes.

As the loud cheering that had died down ensues again, your train of thoughts are halted as you see Seungcheol in shorts and his hands covered in boxing gloves, step into the ring. You can't help but ogle at his naked torso, his finely defined and chiseled muscles. He has the perfect body, not too bulky, not too lean just the right amount that gives you a hard time taking your eyes off him. He seems to have noticed your gaze because the second your eyes meet, he throws a haughty, knowing smirk at you. Embarrassed you avert your gaze elsewhere.

His opponent is a muscular man who's growling and banging his chest with his fists, a gesture of intimidation, you suppose. You are definitely intimidated and you wonder if Seungcheol can actually win against him.

The fight starts with a whistle and in mere seconds they are on to each other, throwing punches left and right. Your eyes have a hard time keeping up with them and their fast reflexes and your hands fly to your mouth as a punch lands on Seungcheol's face, followed by repeated blows as Seungcheol falls back. There's a moment of silence as he wipes his bottom lip and you realize there's a cut.

He tilts his neck, popping the bones and glaring at the other man before launching himself on top of his opponent. The next moments are a blurry mess, Seungcheol beating the guy repeatedly until he ends up on the floor but he doesn't stop there. Seungcheol ends it with a sharp jab to his spine and you have no doubt the other man has broken bones with the ways he howls in pain. The match comes to an end like that as the people cheer wildly while Seungcheol steps down from the stage. Mingyu grins at you happily as if what you witnessed was just a regular occurrence, something you should be cheerful about. Shaking your head at the situation, you let out a deflated sigh.

Their life is really so different than yours.

-

Seungcheol seems to be in a very good mood after the fight as he buys you both some sandwiches and drinks from a deli after you both step out of the bar. You both sit down at a park nearby to eat and watch the night sky. "You know, I thought you were gonna lose," you speak after taking a few bites of the sandwich. Seungcheol scoffs, "You underestimate me, sweetheart. I've been doing this for a long time."

"Do you enjoy it?" You ask quietly, focused on peeling the wrapper from your food. You feel Seungcheol's stare on you. "Yes. Why? Are you scared already?"

"No. I was just... curious. Your definition and my definition of fun is totally different." You murmur. "Of course. What did you think? I go to the mall and shop and watch movies with my friends when I'm bored?" His tone is sarcastic. You bite your lip. "No I didn't. It's just...I feels different now that I have experienced it first hand." Seungcheol offers nothing more, taking a sip of his coke and leaning back into the bench. A silence stretches between the both of except the rustling of the wrapper of your food. "How long have you been doing this?" You blurt out. He frowns at you and you don't expect him to answer but he surprises you.

"For a long time."

He doesn't offer anymore and you don't have the heart to prod him for an actual answer. "And how long do you plan on doing this?"

"What?"

"I mean... don't you have any other plans. Like...do you wanna keep doing what you are doing for the rest of your life? Don't you wanna like... settle down maybe?" Your voice is soft as if you are talking to a child. Seungcheol looks annoyed. He doesn't speak for a while as he stares at the ground, a frown etched to his face. You're about to take back your question when he replies, "I really don't think you understand. I've been trying to tell you that my life is completely disparate to yours. So I don't think like you. I don't have plans like you but neither am I expected to follow a certain pattern like you. I can do whatever the fuck I want, ___. So don't look at me like you pity me. I'm the last person here that should be pitied. " His tone is sharp and it makes you feel bad, like a sensation of needles pricking your heart. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry," You whisper, feeling timid as you look down at your lap. He mutters, "Don't go poking your nose in other people's business. Specially people like me."

He's right. You shouldn't have asked that. You are not close enough to ask things like that. After that there is a silence, this time, an awkward one. There's palpable tension in the air and you feel jittery. Should you just ask him to take you home?

It's still early and truth be told, you don't want to leave him just yet. You only have one more date to go and judging by his reaction, he is in no way interested in a relationship. You heave out a long sigh. You knew very well what you were getting into, yet you couldn't stop yourself. Seungcheol is like a poison, the sweetest one, the one that has you addicted and unable to let go, no matter how much it hurts.

This is a fucking mess.

"Let's get going. I have plans," Seungcheol announces, standing up. You want to protest but you feel like you have ruined the mood, so you follow him mutely to his car.

The drive to your house is awfully quiet, to the point you want to scream out of frustration. Seungcheol seems to be lost in his head as he makes no move to talk. It's like you are alone, but you're not and it's worse, the air full of tension. Soon you have reached your house and he stops the car but keeps the engine rolling, indicating his rush. He keeps still and stares ahead while gripping the steering wheel as you step out of the car in silence. "Thanks for dropping me home," you say lamely, your voice meek. You turn around to walk away but his voice stops you in your tracks.

"I promised you three dates and I will keep my word. I expect you to keep yours, ___. I hope you will tell me what I want to hear when we meet next time." His tone is sharp with an edge of threat and you barely get to nod before he drives away.

It's not until you're inside your apartment that you realize you still have his hoodie on. Quickly fishing out your phone you type out a text.

I'm sorry, I forgot to return your hoodie.

After a while, his reply comes.

Keep it.

-

You watch Katelyn as she fills her lunch tray with food before walking over and taking a seat opposite to you. She looks extra radiant today, which probably has something to do with the way she's dressed; a bright colourful outfit which undoubtedly she put a lot of time into considering. She has a date, with a guy she has been talking to for the last few weeks. It reminds you of your pitiful situation and you sigh, trying to shrug off those thoughts.

It has been a good couple weeks since you last saw Seungcheol and you have not exchanged a word after that night. In the back of your mind you wonder if he is even alive. You want to message him, you really want to because you are going crazy but after how your last date ended, you can't bring yourself to. You are scared, exactly of what, you can't put your finger into.

The entire situation you have put yourself into is fucking scary. They say you become sure of your feelings after three dates but it did not take that much for you. You already are very certain about your feelings for him and how deep they run exactly and you also know that in the end you will be left scarred. He would never be yours. He has probably forgotten about you or decided that it is not worth another date to figure out what you saw that night.

You let a desperate, pitiable sigh.

"I know you are hiding things from me but I understand that you are not ready to talk yet. But I want you to know I am here for you okay?" Katelyn's voice makes you blink your way out of your thoughts. She squeezes your hand tightly and gives you a reassuring smile and you're left feeling guilty.

"I ...I will tell you. Soon. Just give me a bit more time," you whisper. She nods in understanding. A grateful smile touches your lips as her words make you emotional. Then there's a ping from your phone letting you know there's a message. Without giving it much thought you open the device and your eyes go wide.

I'll take you out for dinner tomorrow night. Wear something formal.

-

You wait outside your apartment for Seungcheol. Your day has passed by in a flurry of excitement and nerves as you carefully picked your outfit and did your hair and makeup. A soft baby pink dress that stopped just above you knees adorns you as your hair rests just above your neck in a loose bun.

You are fiddling with your fingers as you think about how this night is gonna end and wether you will ever see him again when a car screech that grabs your attention.

Seungcheol's convertible has taken a stop in front of you and you see the man getting out the vehicle and take big steps towards you.

You're mesmerized.

Perhaps there is not enough word in this world to describe his looks or perhaps you've simple lost the ability to speak; either way, you just stand and stare, drinking the godly man that stands in front of you. He looks delectable, completely flawless and agonizingly gorgeous in his sharp black suit and pants, with a silk black shirt underneath, the top couple buttons undone that reveals a beautiful porcelain skin. His hairstyle completes the look, parted to one side in a sleek way and showing his forehead and oh god is it sexy. You realize you have a forehead kink, if there is anything as such.

If you weren't in love with him before you are now.

He looks ravishing, and you wonder why it isn't illegal to look this good. It should be because you have completely lost control over yourself. Nothing exists in your world except for him and you feel paralyzed, unable to do anything but drink him in. You wonder if you are even worthy to stand beside him.

"____?" Seungcheol calls you, snapping his fingers in front of your eyes. He must have been calling you while you were eye fucking him. "Oh! Um, hi." You're flustered. "You- you look really, really nice." It isn't enough but it's what you can get past your lips. A knowing smirk kisses his lips before he teases, "Well, you look really, really nice too." Motioning you to his car he says, "Shall we? We'll be late for our reservation."

"Yeah, of course," you say, hurrying over to his car, embarasssed at your foolery. Seungcheol must have noticed you ogling him like that. But you don't really care when he looks like that. It is his fault for looking so devilishly handsome and idly you wonder if he did that on purpose. If he's deliberately teasing with, trying to make you the most miserable before letting you go with a slap of reality to your face. Pushing away those plagueing thoughts, you sit up straight and clear your throat as Seungcheol comes to sit beside you and brings the engine to life.

A decently long and quiet (except for the music from the radio) but not quite uncomfortable car ride later, Seungcheol stops in front of a really fancy and expensive looking restaurant just by the sea. You did not except him to take you to a high end restaurant, otherwise you would have put some more effort in your looks.

Feeling slightly out of place you quietly follow Seungcheol into the beautiful European styled building after he hands his keys to a valet. The interior is dripping with polished furnitures and extravagant chandeliers and marble floors as guests dressed elegantly have their dinner. As you look around the place in awe Seungcheol talks to the receptionist who then guides you towards a staircase that leads to a pair of large double doors decorated with gold which then, opens to a large balcony. In the middle of it sits a table with two chairs and an unceremonious gasp escapes your mouth as you realize this is where you will be having dinner.

The man from earlier takes his leave as Seungcheol helps you sit down before taking a seat for himself while you take in everything, overwhelmed with all your surroundings. Why did he put so much effort for a lousy and fake date?

"What do you think?" He asks with a smirk as he rests one of his elbows on the table.

"I'm overwhelmed," you reply quietly, honestly. He chuckles, "Well this place has really good food and a fantastic view so I thought it wouldn't bad for our last date."

Last date.

"It's really beautiful. I don't know why you did this but thank you, really," you murmur, eyes on the satin table cloth with intricate golden lining. Everything about this place is so pretty.

"Well, I decided it would be beneficial for me to extract words from you if you are wooed," his words have a teasing tone to it and his demeanor is completely different from last time, giving you a whiplash but you are not sure if he's fully joking. Before you can say that you are definitely wooed, a waiter appears to take your order and you leave the duty of ordering to Seungcheol since he seems to frequent this place. Prior to his leave, the waiter pours you Seungcheol's champagne of choice and then, you two are alone once more.

Reaching for the flute, you quickly gulp down the champagne to soothe your dry throat and to calm all your nerves.

Over dinner you talk about your uni and your parents back home and the farm they own. While Seungcheol mostly keeps quiet he doesn't ignore you but listens carefully, occasionally passing glances your way or commenting. He does not offer anything about him, which you expected and you don't ask any questions about him either. Instead you try your best to keep his interest in your words despite the lack of it from his side.

After a hearty meal of poached lobsters and wagyu beefs and creamy soups comes dessert; a chocolate orange mousse with spiced fruits and yogurt sorbet. You start eating your dessert in silence, the occasional crashing of waves filling the complete lack of sounds.

This location is truly magnificent and breathtaking, almost having a feel like you're in a fancy resort in a luxurious tropical island. It is undoubtedly the most beautiful place you have ever been, let alone have dinner at and you wonder if you would ever have the chance to visit some place like this had you not met Seungcheol. The man in question, continues eating quietly, seemingly lost in his thoughts. He looks lovely as always, if not more and you try to burn this image in your mind for you to look back at later. You want to ask him so many question, you want to tell him so many things but you're scared. Sacred if you do so this moment will break, scared it will annoy him and end your final date all too early. So you bite your tongue and finish your food as he does and after your plates are cleared away, you are served another expensive champagne as an end to your luxurious dinner.

Even though Seungcheol doesn't say anything, you assume it is time to spill the beans, to say what he has been wanting to hear from the beginning. You have teased him enough and it is time you give him what he deserves. Taking a deep breath, you open your mouth. "Me and Katelyn heard noises from the playground that night so we decided to check. It was pretty dark and we were tipsy but I recognized you and you were... beating someone up. We stayed there and watched until one of us accidentally made some noise. We were scared that you heard us so we ran. That's all that happened."

You have Seungcheol's full attention now as he listens cautiously, his sharp eyes trained on you. Gulping, you clench your hands together underneath the table, waiting for his reaction. There seems to be an eternity of silence as Seungcheol simply stares at you as if he's debating whether your words are true or not. It's torturous, awfully agonizing and when you can't bear it anymore you're about to speak but he beats you to it.

"I didn't kill him." His voice is quiet. You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding. Somewhere in the back of your mind you believed it, you believed he wouldn't be cruel enough to kill someone just like that and as soon as he speaks those words you believe him, without a doubt, without a second of delay.

"I believe you." You whisper, holding his gaze. "That asshole deserved what he got. He shouldn't even be alive but I let him go. He's in a hospital now, if you are wondering." You nod quietly. It's scary how much you believe him, how much you trust him even though he is pretty much a stranger.

There's a moment of silence as you bask in his presence before he speaks, "____, men like me, we aren't the nicest people. But we are needed, the cops need us around. People like me do the dirty works for people like you so y'all don't face troubles. We do things in an unconventional way but that's just who we are. We aren't as bad as the rumours say but we definitely aren't someone you should be with." You open your mouth to protest but his sharp gaze makes you stop. "If you have not understood it yet, let me say it out loud. I am trouble. People like me is always bad news. Whatever we did until now, I hope you forget. That's the best, ____ trust me. I think we both got what we wanted so let's call it a night." Just like that, he stands up, not waiting for your reply.

You gawk at him, baffled as he pays the bill and starts walking away. Tears burn the back of your eyes and you bite your lip to hold them back. The ending that you had expected has taken place but you are having a hard time accepting it. Your subconscious reminds you that you deliberately got yourself into this even though you saw this coming. So there is no one to blame for it but you. Grabbing your purse, you stomp your way out of the restaurant and towards Seungcheol's car.

Seungcheol barely acknowledges you as you both get in the car and he presses the key to the ignition. You are fuming in your seat, his words and the way he dismissed you cutting you deep. His words come to you, I think we both got what we wanted. You want to laugh. How can he possibly think that? Is he really so stupid or is he deliberately ignoring your interest in him? You want to smack his perfect face, curse and scream at him but all you can do is sit still with your arms crossed as steam comes out of your head. Is he really not curious about your feelings? Does he possess none for you? Does these few days with you mean nothing to him? You have so many unanswered questions. Leaning back into your seat, you close your eyes and let out a frustrated sigh.

It feels like in the blink of an eye the drive to your place is over as Seungcheol halts his car in front of your apartment. He does not utter a single word, doesn't even spare a glance at you while patiently waiting for you to get out of the car.

Asshole.

You inhale deeply, trying your best to gather yourself together as you take off your seatbelt and turn towards him.

"Seungcheol?" Few seconds pass before he looks at you. Words are stuck in your throat. When your eyes meet his, you become mute, overwhelmed with emotions as your words die in your tongue. He keeps staring at you, not opening his mouth but waiting for you to speak. "Is this goodbye?" Your voice breaks.

"I believe we don't have any reason to see each other. We both got what we wanted," He says without batting an eye. You're left bemused, one step away from landing a slap on his face. How dare he say that?

"Do you really believe that?" Your words come out as an accusation. "I wanted to go out with you because I thought I have feelings for you! And I do! And my feelings have only increased since I first saw you. I want to see you again, Seungcheol. You may have gotten what you wanted but I didn't." Your fades into a whisper as tears burn the back of your eyes.

Seungcheol stays quiet, staring ahead, his brows knitted as if he's annoyed. "I promised you three dates, ____. And I gave you that. It's over. Your feelings? You'll get over them. It's better to be in pain for a while that be with someone like me."

"You can't say that! I get to decide for myself!"

"____," he sighs, rubbing his temples. "I'm a bad man. You should leave while you still have a good image of me. You'll get hurt because of me and I've caused enough pain to enough people. Just...go. Just forget me." You stare at him as frustrated tears roll down your cheeks. He doesn't meet your gaze but turns his head the other way. You are angry, infuriated and heart broken all at a time. Clenching your fists you inhale a shaky breath before reaching for him.

Before you can chicken out, you tilt his face towards you and quickly press your lips against his. Seungcheol seems to be shocked as a small gasp leaves his mouth but you don't let him push you away. Instead one of your hands come to rest on his thigh as he other cups his face to keep his mouth against yours. You kiss him with all you have left, pouring in every bit of passion and love for him as your tongues intertwine. By the time you are both breathless, Seungcheol gently pushes you back and peers into your eyes. "That's all I can give you, ____." He says, his voice the softest you have heard. You are broken into a million pieces and as much as your heart wants to cling to him, you suddenly feel tired, deflated like a popped balloon. Your emotions have drained you out and left nothing and right now, breathing almost seems too painful for you. Taciturnly, you grab your purse and step out the convertible. You hear another door shut behind you but you don't look back as your heavy steps carry you to the entrance of your building. When you are about to enter your apartment, you accumulate all your strength and courage to spare one final glance at him.

Turning around you see Seungcheol standing by his car, hands in his pockets, simply watching you. Even though your eyes are locked on each other, you don't see any emotion in them. He looks like the same expressionless, mysterious man you saw the first day. The man you fell in love with. Taking in his gorgeous features one last time, you bite your lip and turn away, forcing yourself to walk inside your apartment building.

Your chapter with Seungcheol ends here.

Epilogue

A/N : Okay so idk why this fucking app is being like this but it says I reached the maximum of 250 blocks but I thought tum1r didn't have a word limit?? Anyway so I've decided to break it up and put the rest of the fic in another post. Please click epilogue to read that.

Taglist: @koo-18 @shiningstar-byulxx @pcisonedhaos @happyvitamin @yoongischeeksluv @haluim17 @nayam14 @horanghae-gumanhae @cottonsthings @hotcheetosnorter99 @peekabooseoksoon @acapellaanna @amixoferrthang

[taestefully-in-luv]

Always You | JJK (Eight-Part 2)

Summary: you and Jungkook have been best friends since freshmen year of college, there’s a lot of unsaid feelings and tension but neither make a move. what happens when his friend Taehyung (also your crush) needs a fake girlfriend?

Pairing: Jungkook x Female reader

Genre: friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, slight slow burn, roommate au, college au, SMUT (starting ch2), fluff, angst (in later chapters) slight crack, lots of drama

Word Count: 20.5k

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol consumption, sexual tension (!!!), mentions of sex, oc struggles with her future, mentions of vibrator, mentions of cum eating, dirty talk, vaginal fingering, oral (female receiving), masturbation, swallowing

Notes: woooaahh we got only one chapter left guys! Hope you guys enjoy this chapter:) feel free to send an ask if you want to be added to the taglist or just want to chat about the story:) I LOVE talking with ya’ll!

Taglist: @mooniyooni @thisartemisnevermisses @giadalin @kookiebunny097 @cosmosjk @moonchild1 @just-jeon @anpanman-sonyeondan @starlight-night0 @yessii-i @apollukee @mikasaredscarf1 @kaye-rosales @bunnyjeonjk @dyriddle @aclowe13 @bishuthot @271101 @seagulljk @hass-mich-los @peachy-skz0325 @wonusbitch @not-your-lion @flowersgirl02 @justinetingball @fiantomartell @fairysunooo @taebae19

© taestefully-in-luv

Previous

~~~~~~~~~~~~

November

It shouldn’t be this hard. Figuring out your entire future as a human being should not be this fucking hard, but it is. It’s not that you mind making cookies, or that you look down on yourself for it but it’s not what you want to do forever. Actually, you aren’t sure you want to do anything forever. You wish you could just travel, and that’s how you live life.

“What’s on your mind?” Jungkook asks from besides you. You two are at your favorite coffee stop, Jungkook is working on his laptop for work and you are journaling in your cute pink notebook.

“What do you mean?”

“I can tell something is bothering you…” Jungkook closes his laptop and gives you his full attention.

“It’s nothing.” You say nonchalantly.

“I’m all ears baby.”

“Okay…” you set your pen down and look into Jungkook’s eyes.

“I’m struggling with what I want to do.”

“About what?”

“I don’t know, my whole fucking future. I don’t know what it is I want!” your head falls into your hands, “I hate marketing.”

“Wait, what? You hate…what you got a degree in?”

“I kind of told you before…I only got a degree in it because I knew I would be able to find a job in the field. But that’s not exactly going as planned.”

Jungkook bites down on his lips as he watches you, you look lost and confused and frustrated. It makes his heart hurt.

“How long have you been feeling this way?”

“Forever but it only got worse after graduation.”

“And you didn’t tell me?”

“No offense Jungkook but you kind of stopped talking to me for three of those months.” You snap at him and he winces, “Sorry…” you shake your head, “I’m just irritated right now.”

“How can I help?”

“You can’t.” you groan, “No one can help me. I’m fucked.”

“y/n that’s not true.”

“What do you want in life? What makes you happy?”

“I don’t know, Jungkook. That’s a part of my problem, I don’t fucking know.”

“We’ll figure it out.” He reaches his hands over the table to hold on to yours.

“Easy for you say,” you snap again, “You are living your dream. The film company you interned for during college hired you on as a permanent employee.” You complain.

“Doesn’t mean I don’t feel for you y/n.”

“Right, we can feel bad for me but you don’t get what I’m going through.”

Jungkook winces again at the sharp stab of your words, “I’m trying to understand though.”

“Forget it.”

“No. y/n, I want to help.”

“Maybe I need to go home.”

“Huh?” Jungkook’s hold tightens on your hand. “Go home?”

“Just for a visit. I miss my parents, I think. They may be able to help.”

“For how long?”

“Just for a few days, nothing crazy. Don’t worry, you won’t miss me too much.”

“I always miss you.”

You laugh at Jungkook’s pouting face. He looks so cute.

“Why don’t…why don’t you come with me?” You try asking. “You have weekends off, right? We can go next weekend?”

“Wait,” Jungkook looks at you with his bunny grin. “You want me to come? And meet your parents?”

“Isn’t it a little weird, you’re my best friend but they’ve only ever heard about you. So yes, you can come and meet my parents.”

“Are you sure?” his grin widens. “You really want me to go? For a whole weekend?”

“I mean, as long as Vanessa is okay with it…”

“I’ll talk to her about it,” Jungkook smile fades just the slightest. “But I am sure it will be fine.”

“My mom thinks you’re very handsome.”

“Your mom is on to something.” He jokes.

“My parents are a little protective over me…just a warning. And they might tease us…only because you’re a boy!”

“Tease us how?”

“Oh come on, you know how it is…I bring a boy home…blah blah blah.”

Realization hits Jungkook as he sips on his coffee and he starts laughing.

“Like, they’ll want me to be your boyfriend?”

“Something like that.”

You and Jungkook share a look that you don’t really know what it could mean but you tear your eyes away from him and pick up your pen again.

“We can decide on the details later, talk to Vanessa first.”

“Got it.”

~~~~~

“Teaching nine year old’s is easier than teaching you.” Jimin says out of breath, his hands on his hips. “How do you not get this? Move your left foot here then your hands go…” he tries reteaching you the steps, “No, not there.” He groans out.

“Jimin, it’s hard! Use someone else at your test subject!”

“Jungkook is busy with what’s her face, Trina and Holly are doing god knows what, so tonight you are all I’ve got.”

“Thanks, I’m flattered. Also, you literally have a million friends.” You point out.

“But you’re my favorite.” He winks at you, he runs a hand through his hair and he sighs out again. “Let’s take a break.”

“Sounds good to me.” You chirp happily. “So, did Jungkook tell you he might be coming with me to my parents this weekend?”

“He what now?” Jimin gives you a concerned look, “Babe…”

“What?”

“Actually,” Jimin allows a smirk to play on his lips, “I like this idea, maybe it will get you guys one step closer to getting together.” He shrugs.

“That’s—that’s not the point. I’m going because I miss home and honestly it would be nice to have Jungkook there but also he’s never met them!”

“Yeah, that’s weird.”

“But I told him to get the ‘ok’ from Vanessa.”

“You’re so respectful. I could never.”

You two plop down onto Jimin’s sofa, a water bottle in hand as you gulp it down. The fresh liquid making you feel revived again. It’s been a couple days since you saw Jungkook, you asked to hang out tonight but he already had plans with Vanessa. You try so hard not to be hurt by that because why would you? What were you expecting? For him to cancel his plans with her and run off into the sunset with you? Yes, you silently think to yourself.

“What made you want to go home anyway?” Jimin asks, tilting his head to get a good look at you.

“Quarter life crisis, no biggie.”

“Makes sense.” Jimin stretches his arms out over his head and yawns. “What’s the crisis?”

“All my friends are passionate about what they do and here I am.”

“Babe, don’t compare yourself to others…I hate when you do that. Also, I’m not sure my passion is teaching clumsy nine year old’s how to do a simple dance move.” Jimin huffs out, “I wish I was the one on stage…”

“Jimin…sorry, I know this isn’t really what you wanted…”

“It’s okay…the kids are cute, I guess. And they’re faster learners compared to you.”

“Hey!” you fuss, “These kids are in advanced classes, okay?”

“Babe, this is for beginners.”

“Whatever.”

“So, marketing ain’t it huh?” Jimin asks and you nod your head, “I could of told you that five minutes after I met you.”

“Maybe you should of.”

“But you already knew it wasn’t for you though…why did you keep at it?”

“I don’t know anymore.” You whine, “I wish I could just do something a little meaningful then have enough money to travel!”

“Why don’t you teach English abroad?” Jimin turns on his side to face you, “You get to travel and do something meaningful.”

Your head tilts to the side as you process his words, was that kind of a good idea?

“Hm…” you bite on your lip. “That’s—that’s not a bad idea actually.”

“But you would leave us all behind, you get that, right?” Jimin chuckles, “Not sure Jungkook would let you leave.”

“It’s a lot to process and think about, but it’s a cool option.” You admit, stretching your arms out in front of you, “Shit, that dance was a work out!”

“You barely did anything though…”

“I did enough to make me feel this soreness creeping in.” you defend yourself quickly, “So, do you think Vanessa will give Jungkook the ‘ok’ to come with me?”

“I don’t see why not, she doesn’t seem like the controlling type, right?”

“Not really…she’s kind of odd. I’m trying so hard to understand her but she makes it kind of difficult.”

“Didn’t you say she didn’t want to interact with any of us at JK’s party because she’s only there for him?”

“Yup.”

“Damn, I don’t know if I should be mad at that or like, salute her for it.”

You start laughing and Jimin joins you but tells you he’s serious, you just keep laughing and nod your head.

“I kind of get that.” You giggle. “I want to ask Jungkook if she has some sort of social anxiety, it’s the only thing I can come up with on why she’s so…her.”

“Why don’t you?” Jimin asks, and he’s right, why don’t you? You’re just afraid of offending him about her and you don’t want to deal with that…

“I don’t know.”

“Just because you’re trying to be cool about everything doesn’t mean you have to try and be friends with her…it doesn’t seem like she wants to make any friends with any of us, so don’t try to push it.” Jimin advices and you hate that maybe he’s right.

“I know but…”

“No but’s!” Jimin cuts in, “The only butt that matters is mine.” He says giving his ass a little spank. You chuckle and hit his arm and shake your head at him.

“Fine.”

“So, what would you do if Jungkook confessed his feelings to you?”

You lift your head to face Jimin, your eyes filled with surprise. You close them and shake your head a little bit and try to form some words very pathetically.

“W-What? W-Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why are you asking that?”

“Just curious…” Jimin sucks in his thick bottom lip and pouts.

“I would…I don’t know what I would do.” You respond honestly. Jimin rolls his eyes and stands from the couch and places his hands on his hips.

“You would return his feelings wouldn’t you? Jump in his arms? Kiss him?”

“Jimin…” your tone warns him to chill out, “I would be shocked probably. But if he was serious…of course, I would do all those things…” you finish shyly.

“Perfect. Now just tell him all of that.”

“Jimin…”

“You have til the end of the year.” Jimin states confidently, “then I am forcing you two in a room, revealing everything and making you talk.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Mark my fucking words bish.”

Dude…Jimin sounds and looks fucking serious.

“Jimin seriously, don’t do that. Don’t put me on the spot like that.”

Jimin plugs his ear holes with his pointer fingers and starts singing a beautiful ‘lalala’ and proceeds to ignore you as you try to get his attention.

“Jimin, seriously!”

“y/n.” he takes his fingers out and becomes more serious, “I said mark my fucking words.”

~~~~~~

Jungkook and Vanessa lazily lay on her bed, his arm draped across her waist while she plays some music game on her phone.

“I’m sorry again.” Jungkook whispers out, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me…”

“It’s okay.” Vanessa says softly, “You just aren’t in the mood tonight, and that’s okay.” She continues to look at her phone, her fingers going at it on her game.

“Maybe we can try again la—”

“My Jungkookie just doesn’t want me tonight.”

“Vanessa…don’t say it like that.”

She lifts her head up to smile at him, it’s one of those coy, secretive smiles and Jungkook feels worse.

“So about this weekend, you’re wanting to go with y/n to her parent’s house?”

“I don’t have to go, I know we had plans on Saturday.”

“No, no. Don’t be silly, I don’t mind.” She says smoothly, “It sounds like a good idea.”

“Good idea how?”

“Oh nothing.” She says, going back to her game. “You should go.”

“Okay, I’ll let her know…” Jungkook pulls out his phone to send you a text. You text back within seconds sending him the thumbs up emoji. He feels his entire chest go warm at the thought of going with you this weekend.

He’s never met a girl’s parents, not like this. Not with someone that means as much to him as you do. So he feels as nervous as he does excited. He wants to look his best, he wants to present himself maturely. What does that even mean? Not even Jungkook knows but he thinks it makes sense.

“I can go down on you Vanessa…” Jungkook offers, still feeling guilty.

“No need, I’m not really in the mood either.” She says nonchalantly, too focused on her game at hand.

He has vowed that he won’t think of you while being with Vanessa and usually that would be no problem but tonight…he couldn’t get in the mood at all. All he wanted to do was think about you.

Sex with you…is just different. It feels so fucking good on all levels physical but also all levels emotional. He knows exactly what it feels like to have his cock between your lips and down your throat, he knows exactly what it feels like to fondle your breasts and suck on them too. He knows exactly what you taste like, and god, it is his favorite flavor. He knows exactly how you sound when you’re being fucking pounded and exactly how you sound when you come.

“Is this okay?” Jungkook keeps asking you, his fingers bunching up your hair and you nod pathetically.

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted to kiss you? Since I fucking met you.” He admits, his fingers traveling down to your panties, he pushes them aside as he dips a finger into your wet hole. You moan out, your moan loud and high pitched and Jungkook can’t help but smirk.

“Please…”

“Please what?”

“Another finger.” You practically fucking beg, and Jungkook complies quite easily. He slips another finger into your greedy fucking pussy and you yelp. He moves his fingers inside you so fucking expertly, making your toes curl.

“You make me feel so good.” You whimper out.

Jungkook can’t help but reach down and rub his aching cock through his briefs, he wants to feel good too. He is absolutely aching for you, wanting to be touched by you so badly.

“Stop touching yourself” you command and Jungkook being the good boy he is, listens.

“Make me come, Jungkook.” And once again, he complies. He makes you come all over his fingers and then he makes you come again on his tongue and then for a third time, he makes you come on his tongue again making you feel fucking spent.

“Lay on your back.” You order and his eyes go wide with excitement. You lay down next to him and your fingers very delicately dance across his lower stomach. He sighs out heavily, releasing long breaths one after the other. Your fingers reach the waist band of his briefs and you begin to slowly drag them down. His cock springs free and your mouth waters at the sight. There’s no way he is this blessed. He’s so incredibly long and thick, the head of his cock swollen and leaking with precum.

“You wanted to touch yourself right?” you tease. “Now’s your chance.”

“W-What?”

“I want you to touch yourself, Jungkook. You can use my juices as lube,” you say, spreading your legs, your own cum sticky against your inner thighs.

Jungkook’s doe eyes turn sharp as he stares at you and he whimpers. Fucking whimpers. He is quick to gather your juices in his hand and start jacking himself off. He holds on to his cock tightly, rubbing it viciously.

“Ah. Ah.” He groans out, his eyes never leaving yours as he touches himself.

“Such a good boy, Jungkook. God, can you imagine if this gorgeous cock was in my mouth right now?” you whisper in his ear.

“Can you imagine my pretty pink lips wrapped around you, my head bobbing up and down? Can you hear me choke? Choke on this pretty cock?”

“So close, y/n. please don’t stop.”

“You’re not allowed to come yet. Can you imagine fucking me, Jungkook?

“God, yes, yes, yes.”

“Can you imagine thrusting into my pussy? My walls getting tight around your cock? Making us both come?”

“Fuck, y/n. I’m gonna come. I’m gonna come.”

You raise yourself, leaning away from his ear and smirk down at him.

“Since you were so good for me, I’ll reward you. I’ll let you come. And I’ll let you come down my throat.”

You move until you’re on top of him, you lean down until you’re replacing his hand with your mouth. He groans out loudly when he feels his cock enter your warm mouth and you moan into the feeling.

“Fuuuuuck.”

And Jungkook is coming so fucking hard, he doesn’t think he has ever come this hard before. He shoots his cum down your throat and you swallow it all, not even a drop left behind on your lips.

You rise from his cock and smile down at him and he lifts himself up and his lips crash into yours.

Jungkook pulls away for a moment, his eyes dark and his voice low,

“Now I am going to fuck you.”

“Since I’ll be gone this weekend, should we go on a date tomorrow night?”

Vanessa pauses her game and looks straight ahead, she zones out for a few seconds before she’s quietly clearing her throat and looking Jungkook’s way.

“No…I have plans, sorry.”

“Plans?”

“Yes, plans.” The ‘s’ leaves her lips sounding so silky. “You should find something else to do.” Then vanessa exits her game to send a quick text to someone. After a minute or two passes she’s looking at him again.

“y/n’s free tomorrow night, you should just hang with her.”

Jungkook pushes his head back in disbelief, did…

“Did you text y/n…for me?”

“Yes.” Vanessa looks at him, her small eyes going wide, “I was just trying to find you something to do.”

Jungkook stares at her in shock and then bursts out into laughter.

“Sorry, sorry. I just…never thought you would do something like that but somehow it feels on brand.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Her innocent voice making Jungkook smile.

“Nothing, nothing.”

“Okay, I’ll send her a text…”

Jungkook 10:13pm

So, I hear youre free tmrw night lol

y/n 10:13pm

you hear right lmaaoo

Jungkook 10:14pm

Should we do something?

y/n 10:14pm

I think Jin says he’s having a small cookout at his place, should we go?

Jungkook 10:15pm

Sounds good, I’ll drive. Pick you up at 6?

y/n 10:16pm

yay! Yeah 6 works for me. :)

Jungkook slides his phone into his pocket and looks at Vanessa with a confused expression…

“Why do you want me to hang with y/n?”

“She’s your best friend.” She responds easily. “Plus, since I am busy I feel bad to leave you hanging.”

“You’re not seeing him…right?”

“It doesn’t matter who I am seeing.” She opens the music game app again and starts focusing on beating her last score.

Jungkook sighs out in defeat, sometimes talking to Vanessa gets him nowhere. He pulls out his phone again and checks the time.

“Maybe I should head home…” He begins to say, “I’ll text you throughout the weekend and I’ll see you after.”

“Don’t be rude and be on your phone while you’re in her parents company.” Jungkook scoffs, that’s super rich coming from her.

“Okay, I won’t text so much, but I will see you after the weekend okay?”

“Sure.” She uses one hand to wave him off but he still leans over to kiss her cheek.

~~~~~

You still can’t get over just how huge Jin’s house is! You are currently lost trying to find the bathroom again. You open up a door to a bedroom and get reminded of the night you were with Tae. It’s the same room. Wow, that feels like a lifetime ago.

You continue strolling down the hall until you come to the last door—the bathroom.

You use it quickly and head back outside to join the rest of your friends. Jin saved a seat for you next to him and you can’t help but smile.

“Jungkook says you two are heading to your parents this weekend!” Jin exclaims excitedly.

“I wanna meet your parents too!” Hobi whines, “I am great with parents!”

“I’m sure you two will have a lovely time.” Namjoon joins the conversation.

“By the way y/n…” Jin looks awkwardly to the side, “I invited Tae, I know you two are broken up…”

“Oh no, it’s okay. We’re friends.”

At this, Jungkook ears perk up, “Friends? Since when?”

“It just happened like that.” You shrug.

Jin claps his hands together, “Perfect. And then Jimin should be here by now, let me call him.”

Jin takes out his phone and dials for Jimin.

“So, you two are friends now?” Jungkook pries, “Since when?”

“Since a little while ago. You should think about chilling out too.”

“Pshh.”

“Jimin is arriving, let me go let him in, I’ll be right back.” Jin says, standing from his chair.

“So y/n, how’s the job hunting going?” Namjoon asks, his leg crossed over the other as he leans forward to give you his full attention.

“Umm…” you bite your lip, Jungkook goes rigid at his question…knowing this is uncomfortable for you.

“it’s sort of on pause,” you admit, “Yeah, on pause.”

“Oh thank god!” Namjoon laughs, “I thought I was the only one!”

“I told you, you weren’t.” Hobi laughs too, patting Namjoon on the back.

“You too?” you asks, sighing out in relief. “It’s annoying, isn’t it?” you also laugh.

Jungkook visibly relaxes as he watches you chilling and having a good time.

“Look who else is here!” Jin comes back with Jimin, and behind Jimin is Taehyung and also…Yoongi?

“Yoongs?” you give him a confused look before breaking out into a smile.

“Hey everyone, nice to see you all again.” Yoongi gives everyone his gummy smile and a small wave of the hand.

“Yoongi!” Hobi yells out, “I’m so glad Tae brought you!”

You remember them two hitting it off at Jungkook’s birthday party, so you nod in approval.

“Hi Tae, hi Jimin.”

“Hello beautiful.” Jimin comes to you, leans down and hugs you. Taehyung waves at you excitedly.

“Hi Jungkook.” Taehyung offers a greeting quite awkwardly but Jungkook nods his head and smiles,

“Hey man.”

You tilt your head to look at Jungkook, surprise written all over your face as you smile wide at him.

“The gangs all here!” Jin yells out, the happiness evident in his voice. “Let’s start cooking!”

The evening sun is your favorite, the way it sets the sky on fire with its beautiful rays of gold. It gets really chilly, especially at night since it is the middle of November. You stand next to the pool in the backyard when you feel a jacket get draped over your shoulders.

“Hi Jungkook.” You say without looking who it is, somehow you just know.

“Whatcha thinking about?” He asks, coming to your side.

“Life, and everything in it.”

You turn around to get a look at all the guys, Jin and Namjoon at the grill, Yoongi and Hobi discussing something dealing with music, Tae and Jimin playing rock, paper, scissors and Jungkook here at your side. You feel incredibly lucky to be surrounded by such great friends. These 7 men making it hard to leave.

“I’ve been thinking about teaching English abroad…nothing is set in stone, it’s just an idea. But I kind of like it.”

“Abroad? Like away from here? Away from me?” Jungkook whispers out as he realizes what that means.

“It’s just an idea.”

Jungkook looks at your side profile and smiles, he leans into your side and wraps the jacket even more snug against your body.

“Whatever will make you happy y/n.” he says softly, and you know he means it.

“Let’s go join the other guys.” You say, you grab a hold of Jungkook’s hand and you two walk towards the other boys. They’re loud, rumbunctious and some of your favorite people. You couldn’t feel more at home and at peace.

“Okay, so who wants a sausage? I cooked them perfectly.” Jin shows a plate of meat, showcasing how absolutely perfect they are to everyone.

“Hey, I helped.” Namjoon pouts.

“Yeah, he……….’helped’” Jimin uses air quotes emphasizing ‘help’.

“Hey I did!”

“Moral support barely counts as help dude.” Hobi says, cracking up.

“Fine, nobody eat this hamburger patty,” he points to one single patty. “Because I cooked it.”

“Nobody wants to eat that hamburger patty.” Taehyung teases.

“I’ll eat your hamburger patty.” You chirp.

“Kiss ass.” Yoongi chuckles, walking up next to the grill. “Oh Jin, don’t forget to give me your number later so we can plan that fishing trip.”

“You two are planning a fishing trip?” You eye Yoongi, “I see you’re making friends.”

“Shut up.” He smiles shyly.

“So Jungkook,” Taehyung faces Jungkook and smirks, “Are you nervous about meeting y/n’s parents?”

“Yeah, Jungkookie, are you nervous?” Hobi chips in.

Jungkook’s eyes fall to the ground as he chews on his lips, he scratches the back of his neck and smiles softly.

“Maybe a little.”

“Why?” you ask, leaning into Jungkook’s frame, “Nothing to be nervous about.”

“Are you sure y/n?” Yoongi begins to tease you, “You are their little ‘miracle’ baby.”

“Shut up!” you laugh, “It will be fine, Jungkook. I promise.”

“I’m not too worried.” He says, he looks down at the ground still, his smile growing.

~~~~~~

You wait by your front door with a small suitcase in hand, humming some song. Jungkook should be here at any moment! He said he was on his way after work about 15 minutes ago and you know it shouldn’t take too long.

You cannot wait to see your parents, if you’re honest. You haven’t visited them in almost half a year! What you need is your parent’s loving embrace and also their wise words.

And it is pretty damn exciting you get to finally introduce your best friend to them. It’s a 4 hour drive, so you have a lot to catch Jungkook up on, you know, what your parents are even like up close and personal.

Your phone starts buzzing, and you pull it from you back pocket to see Jungkook sent a text that he has arrived.

“See you, Holly!” you yell out, but she’s in her room with the music on so you doubt she hears you. You think she said Trina is staying over for the weekend, so you know she won’t be lonely without you.

You make your way to Jungkook’s car (he offered to drive to your parents, which you do not mind in the least.) and see him waiting outside of it for you. He’s leaning against the car like a fucking stud. Yes, you just said fucking stud. Because that’s what he looks like. You hate that your god damn vagina reacts first! That bitch is booming as you eye him up and down. His tight jeans, chunky boots and striped sweater are a good look on him. His hair is pushed away from his forehead, split down the middle and he looks so fucking hot.

“Hi.” You call out, joining him at his car.

“Hey there.” He says cooly, grabbing your suitcase from you. He opens the back door and sets it inside next to his, “You ready?” he asks with a smirk.

“Yup” you pop the ‘p’ and smile back at him.

“Okay and my mom is sweet, I swear. But she sort of has no filter. My dad’s really laid back and wont tease as much…probably.” You say, stuffing your mouth with bagged popcorn.

“Probably?” Jungkook chuckles, he reaches for a handful of popcorn himself.

“Meaning he will probably let my mom do all the talking for the most part and he will only make somecomments.”

“What sort of comments should we expect?”

Suddenly, you feel your cheeks flush and you become a little shy.

“I don’t know, figure it out.” You whisper, digging in the bag for more of the snack.

Jungkook laughs at you, he thinks you’re being too cute right now. He turns his head to get a look at you and he smiles.

“Okay baby.”

“And maybe don’t call me ‘baby’ in front of my parents…they will definitely get the wrong idea.”

Jungkook playfully raises a brow at you, “And what idea is that?” he teases but it goes over your head.

“Jungkook.” You groan out, “Use your head.”

“Honestly, I’m just excited to meet your parents.” Jungkook admits happily, “I wish I could have introduced you to mom.”

“…Yeah, I would have liked to have met her. She raised you really well.”

“Honestly, she would have adored you. And…dad would have really liked you too.”

You retreat your hand out of the popcorn bag and wipe your dirty fingers on your jeans, you lick the remainder off.

“What was your mom like?”

At this Jungkook beams, his smile so bright and beautiful.

“Mom was an angel. Want to know the first time I lied to her?” Jungkook asks excitedly, “And how she reacted? It was like a movie.”

“Sure.” You chuckle.

“I was in the 8th grade,” he begins but you cut him off.

“You didn’t lie until 8th grade? That’s hard to believe.”

“I was a really good kid!” he whines. “Anyway, me and two of my buddies made plans to hang out but they wanted to hang out with this group of girls…at a girls house. I didn’t know if I was allowed at a girls house…so I lied and said we were all going to a carnival.” Jungkook starts cracking up as he recalls the memory.

“Mom believed me, gave me $20 for the wrist band to have access to all the rides, you know? Well, one of my friends wasn’t allowed at a girls house so he lied and said he was going to be at a birthday party at my house. Anyway we went to the girls house and all hung out, very innocent, I swear.” He continues laughing, his eyes crinkling.

“Anyway one of the girls mom was dropping me and that buddy off at my house when we see my mom pulling up at the same time while his mom was already parked in front of my house! Oh my god it was awful.”

“Holy hell, then what happened?” you ask.

“Well, we say thanks and get out of the car and he rushes to his moms car and my cousins were outside in my front yard talking to his parents about how there was no birthday party here.”

“And then?”

“My mom asked what was going on? I said my buddy wasn’t allowed at the carnival so we lied. But then my older cousin goes ‘Where’s your wrist band at Jungkook?’ And I wanted to strangle her! How could she out me!!! So I broke down crying to my mom and told her the truth.” He laughs, then he smiles fondly. “She told me it’s okay and that she forgives me. She said it’s not a big deal to hang out at girl’s houses as long as they’re just friends and I should never lie to her again.”

“Wow, an angel indeed.” You smile at Jungkook and he catches it from the corner of his eye.

“Yeah.” He smiles back.

“Where else my mom? She would of kicked my ass.” You laugh out loud and Jungkook joins you.

“I can’t wait to meet her.”

It’s a little after 8pm when you finally arrive to your childhood home, it’s nothing fancy or big or tremendous in any shape or form but hey, it’s home.

Jungkook pulls into the driveway and you notice your parents car isn’t here so you pull out your phone and call your mother.

Apparently they went to go pick up dinner for you four, but there’s a bit of a wait so they’ll be home in a little while. You tell her you understand, and remind her you still have a key.

“They’ll be home in a bit, why don’t we go inside and I can show you around?”

“Sounds good.” Jungkook has the car in park, and he’s quick to turn off the ignition. He gets out of the car and opens the back door to grab both of your suitcases.

“Jesus woman, what did you pack?” Jungkook complains.

“Yeah, yeah. Come on.” You usher him inside as you’re opening the front door.

It smells like your moms apple cinnamon candles have been lit up all day, the scent bringing you back to your childhood days. It smells like home, you can’t help but grin as you enter through.

“Let’s start by putting our stuff in our rooms!” you begin walking up the creaky stairs and Jungkook follows you with your bags in hand.

“This is your room,” you open the door to some lousy guest room but the bed is made and it smells nice. Jungkook nods while setting his suitcase down.

“And this…” you walk out and go to the room right next door, “is my room.”

Jungkook eyes go wide as he enters your room, he sees the posters on your walls, your baby pink duvet with a million pillows and the string of fairy lights above your bed and window.

“This is pre college y/n?” he asks, amused.

“Yup.”

“Oh my god, you had a boy band phase?” he touches the many posters on your wall.

“Who said I ever got out of it?” you tease.

Jungkook smiles as he observes your room, walking around slowly like he has all day. His fingers drag across your desk and all the things that occupy its space until he stops when he is touching a journal.

“A diary?” His amusement is out of the roof by now. “Let me read.” He asks with playful, pleading eyes.

“Hell to the no!” you rush to his side and grab the journal. “I don’t know what the fuck is in here.”

“Then it’s fun for both of us!” Jungkook reasons, “Let’s see what was in teenage y/n’s mind.”

“Probably lame stuff, I wasn’t very interesting.”

“I’ll see about that,” he takes the journal back and begins opening the journal and you grumble, trying to object. But in the end you let him open the journal, you wait patiently to be totally embarrassed.

“Okay this is from senior year…” he says, “Ryan wasn’t here today…” Jungkook starts laughing, “I was going to tell him I like him but it’s like the universe doesn’t want me to.” He reads out in a girly voice and you cringe. “Should I just move on?” he mocks.

“Okay, that’s enough!” you try reaching for the journal, your arms getting tangled with Jungkook’s. He can’t stop laughing as you whine out loud, your body bumping into his as your arms continue to battle one another.

“Jungkook!” you cry out, “Seriously?!”

You two continue to wrestle for the journal, spinning around until your feet tangle too much with his and he’s bumping into your bed, he falls over bringing you down with him.

You land on top of Jungkook, settling between his spread legs. The laughing and screaming absolutely stops when you find yourself in this position. Jungkook face is centimeters from yours, your breaths hot and fast and mingling together, he looks into your eyes with a troubled look. His tongue darts out to lick his bottom lip and your eyes can’t help but follow his movement.

“y/n…” he whispers out, still out of breath from playing around.

You look into his eyes again and he’s gone completely dark. His pupils start blowing out and his breaths become harsher.

“Jungkook…” You say lowly, your voice even surprising you. “Oh,” you blink at him when you feel his member hardening against your core.

Jungkook gulps, as if embarrassed. His eyes dart all around the room until they’re back on you.

“Sorry I—”

“I should get up.” You whisper.

Jungkook gulps again, his spit making his Adam’s Apple bob. “Yeah.”

But you don’t move, you continue to lay on top of him, you close your eyes as you feel his dick poking you at your center. You hate yourself but you can’t help the fact that you’re breathing deeper than usual and you really hate yourself when you grind yourself rather gently into Jungkook’s crotch.

And you really hate yourself when you hear Jungkook fucking moan. A real life moan escapes his parted lips. Your eyes shoot open to see his screwed shut. He lightly thrusts upward in response, his strained cock hitting your clit just right that you whimper out. You immediately throw your hand over your mouth and regret everything until Jungkook moans again.

Fuck, what do you do? You want to keep going and you almost do when—

“Honey! We’re home!”

You quickly scramble off Jungkook and stand to your feet. Fuck, your parents are home.

Jungkook awkwardly stands up and tries to adjust his pants so his fucking boner isn’t totally visible. He does not want to meet your parents with a fucking boner. No way in hell. He’s got to think of gross things. Diarrhea. Yeah, he will think of people shitting themselves, that’s pretty gross.

“Coming!” you yell out. You smooth down your clothes and your hair and turn to face Jungkook. “Ready?”

He smiles kind of awkwardly but nods his head yes regardless.

You two exit the bedroom and head down the stairs, your parents waiting at the bottom.

“If it isn’t my pain in the ass?” your mother’s jolly laugh fills the room as she goes in to embrace you.

“Hi mom.” You say into her neck, you can smell her sweet perfume and it reminds you of home times a million.

“You mean your miracle baby! Our miracle baby!” your dad chimes in gleefully, going in to hug both you and your mom.

“It’s a miracle she hasn’t killed me yet.” Your mother comments playfully, “Going a whole half year without seeing her mother?”

“It has been since May hasn’t it?” Your dad asks. “Too long.”

“And you must be Jungkook! The boy our daughter ditched us for on Christmas!” your mom pushes you to the side and goes in to hug Jungkook.

He stumbles back in surprise, but wraps his arms around your mother with his bunny grin plastered on his face.

“That’s me.” He laughs.

“Next time, just come here for Christmas, okay?” Your mom pouts playfully.

“Now, that’s not a bad idea.” Your father cuts in, extending his hand out for Jungkook to shake.

“Nice to meet you Mr.y/L/n.” Jungkook goes in to shake his hand with a firm hold, “and of course you too Mrs.y/L/n. “ Jungkook smiles in her direction.

“My goodness,” your mother swoons, “You’re so handsome!” then she turns to you, “He’s so handsome y/n. How haven’t you snagged him yet?”

“You two aren’t already a couple?” your father adds in.

“Mom! Dad! No!” you run a hand through your hair, “I told you already a million times on the phone, we are friends. Best friends.”

“That’s too bad…” your mom says, “I would like him for a son in law.”

“Yes, it’s too bad.” Your dad continues where she is going, “He’s got a firm handshake.”

“You guys don’t even know him.” you deadpan.

Jungkook only chuckles as he watches you interact with your parents. He wishes he had this kind of relationship with his parents but he’s glad you do.

“Are you guys ready for dinner or what?” Your mom picks up the bag of food off the entry way table and brings it to her nose, “Smells delicious.” She sings with a smile.

“Lets eat honey.” Your dad gestures your mom to the kitchen and then gives you and Jungkook a wink. “Come on kids.”

You didn’t know coming home would feel this good. Just being in the same room as your parents makes you feel whole again. Talking on the phone every week just isn’t enough.

You and Jungkook set up the table as your parents start taking the food out of the bag, they place it in the center of the table and your greedy little hands can’t help but pick at the side dishes.

“Hungry?” Jungkook teases.

“Starved.” You respond.

“Well, let’s all sit down and dig in!” Your father pulls out a chair for your mother so she can sit, ever the gentleman.

The food is delicious. You really wanted your moms home cooking but she promised you that’s for tomorrow night. You eat to your hearts content, getting so full. You’re not just full of food but full of your parents love and joy. Jungkook laughs along to your mom and dad’s stories and even shares some of his own. You guys talked about your group of friends and how you’re each others support systems.

Your parents are ecstatic to hear you have such great friends where you live, they even promise to go visit you soon so they can happily meet everyone. You agree wholeheartedly and stuff your face with more food. The night goes on like this for quite some time, everyone yawning but no one wanting to go to sleep.

“Let’s clean up and take this party to the living room.” Your mom suggests.

“I’ll clean up mom.”

“Me too.” Jungkook offers as well.

“Good kids.” Your dad says with a chuckle and heads to his designated spot (The recliner in the living room.)

“Are you having fun?” You ask Jungkook once your parents are out of the kitchen.

“I’m having a really nice time y/n.” Jungkook blushes as he answers, he fucking blushes and you feel the heat creep up your cheeks as well.

“I told you, you had nothing to be nervous about.”

“I’m still nervous, to be honest. But it feels nice actually.” He admit, his blush only deepening.

You two reach for the drying towel at the same time, your fingers brushing against his and you feel a spark of electricity.

“Sorry.” You sputter out, “You take it.”

“Okay…” Jungkook feels his face get even more red, just brushing fingers with you making him feel hot and dizzy.

“I think it’s clean enough,” you wipe your hands dry on your jeans, “Let’s go.”

The living room is as cozy as you have always remembered it to be. The recliner that your dad always falls asleep in is in the same spot as always, the two love seats taking one corner of the room and the TV on the center of the back wall. You decide to sit next to your mom on one of the love seats, you immediately drop your head on to her shoulder and breathe her in.

“What’s wrong my miracle?” she asks softly. “What’s going on?”

You suck in a sharp breath and start sniffling. Yup, you have decided on being a baby.

“I—” Your eyes immediately water and you give your mom a pathetic look, “I don’t know what I am doing with my life.”

Jungkook watches you and he frowns, he wishes he had all the answers for you.

“Oh baby,” your mom cradles your head, “I’m an old woman and even I have thoughts like that.” She laughs. “You’re going to figure it out, even if it’s not right now.”

“How do you know?” you look up at her with snot running down your nose.

“Do you remember when you were in high school you went from being in the drama club to the art club to the debate team to the…god, who knows what? You just kept jumping from one thing to another but then you finally found what you liked. Which was, swimming right?” She rubs your back soothingly, “It just takes time.” She says, “Maybe right now you’re just in the ‘art club’ part of your life. You still need to experience other clubs and teams until you find your swimming.”

“Mom…” you cry, “Thank you.”

“Your mother is right,” your dad decides to jump in “And whatever you decide we will be there cheering you on.”

Jungkook feels his heart swell. Watching you with your parents has been nothing but an amazing experience so far. He doesn’t feel bitter that he didn’t have this sort of relationship, instead he wishes he could have it even with someone like your parents.

“Now go sit with your bestie, he looks lonely over there by himself on the other couch.” Your mom scolds you lightly. You hug her tightly before letting go and walking to where Jungkook is.

You sit right next to him, not leaving any space—your knees and shoulders rubbing against one another quite innocently.

“So Jungkook,” Your father begins, “tell us about your family.”

You feel yourself go tense at the mention of Jungkook’s family. What will he say? Or will he say anything at all? “Mom’s not with us anymore.” He smiles softly, “And I don’t talk to my dad.”

“Oh honey, I’m so sorry,” your mom places a hand over her heart.

“Sorry to hear about that, son.” Your dad shares a look of pity with your mom.

Jungkook on the other hand lights up when he hears your dad call him ‘son’.

“It’s okay.” Jungkook smiles, “I have y/n and Jimin and the rest of the guys.”

“And you have us too, sweetie.” Your mom cuts in. “We were serious about Christmas, why don’t you two come here?”

“Mom—”

“I’d like that.” Jungkook looks at your for approval, “It sounds nice, right y/n?”

You feel your heart begin to glow.

“Yeah.” You yawn out. “It does.” You lay your head on his shoulder and he wraps an arm around your waist. You miss the way your parents share a knowing look as they watch you two.

“We weren’t supposed to have any children…” Your mom starts to say, “She really was our little miracle.” She comes down into a whisper as she notices you starting to doze off.

“She’s our pride and joy.” Your father beams.

“I’m glad she isn’t lonely. Growing up, we were so worried she would become a lonely only child, but she had lots of cousins thankfully and she always had it easy when making friends.” Your mother smiles as she recalls little you.

“She’s so special, isn’t she?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook looks down at your sleeping face, he smiles shyly and caresses your cheek. “She is.”

Your parents share another knowing look and grin.

“When did you realize she was so special?” your father crosses a leg over the other.

“About the time she ditched you guys for me.” Jungkook’s looks at them and smiles cheekily.

Your mother and father laugh loudly, waking you from your quick nap.

“What’s so funny?” you ask groggily, you kind of drooled on yourself and Jungkook’s shoulder. You wipe at the corner of your mouth and mutter an apology to Jungkook for wetting his shirt. He only giggles at you and pats your head.

“Maybe you two should head to bed for some rest, hm?”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

You and Jungkook agree with your parents, standing from your place on the love seat and say your goodnight’s.

“Goodnight sweetie.” Your dad goes in to hug you, “Sleep well.”

“Night dad, night mom.”

“Goodnight Mr. and Mrs. y/l/n.”

“Night kiddos.”

Jungkook follows you up the stairs as he enters deep thought mode. He has only spent one day with you and your parents but he feels like he has fallen in love all over again. His love for you deepening by the minute, the way it blossoms like a beautiful, enchanted flower. The petals are bright, colorful and full of life. Nothing, he means nothing can shrivel up this rose. It is enchanted after all.

You stand outside your door, waiting for Jungkook to finish his journey up the stairs. When he finally makes it to the top he walks to you, standing outside your bedroom door.

“Goodnight Jungkook.” You whisper out, a blush painting itself on your cheeks.

“Tonight was nice.” He says instead of ‘goodnight’.

“Yeah, I think my parents like you a lot.”

“And I like them a lot. I felt…so…at home.” He admits, his soft breath hitting your lips and you breathe out heavily.

“I’m glad.”

“I like you when you’re with your parents.”

“You like me?” You tease, and Jungkook goes as red as a fucking tomato.

“Like, like—”

“Chill, I know what you mean.”

Jungkook scratches the back of his neck and huffs out, “Right.”

“I like you around my parents too.” You lean back on the bedroom door, and Jungkook steps closer to you.

“You like me?” he teases back and you blush even harder.

“I just mean, it’s cute seeing you nervous and flustered for once.” You say.

“I’m cute?” Jungkook takes another step towards you, backing you even further into the door.

“You know what I mean.”

“Do I though?” he leans his head towards your face, his lips hovering over your left ear and he whispers…

“I won’t tell anyone you find me cute y/n.” he continues his teasing. He leans back and watches as your face goes unbelievably red.

“Shush.” You push his hard chest back and he darkly chuckles. “It’s not like you don’t find me cute as well.”

“Oh baby, I find you very, very cute” he leans in again and you scoff, giggling to yourself.

Jungkook chuckles as well, he feels himself growing hotter by the second, he pushes you back more into the door and he reaches for the doorknob and opens it, but catches you from falling inside.

“Let’s go inside.” He says lowly. “Wanna keep being with you.”

“Jungkook,” you whine, “I’m sleepy.”

“I can watch you sleep.” He teases and you cringe.

“That’s creepy!” you laugh, you two set foot inside the room and you close the door behind you guys. “But maybe we can chat for a little bit.”

“Hey!” Jungkook juts his lip out, “It’s not creepy, I just really—” love you, he wants to say. But he doesn’t have the courage but god, Jimin is right. When will he have the courage?

“Really what?” you ask innocently.

“It’s nothing.” He says. “Anyway, let’s sit.” He plops his fine ass on the edge of your childhood bed—a twin bed. You sit down next to him and you lean back until your back is laying against the soft mattress. Jungkook follows you, laying down as well.

“Thanks for making me feel like I’m a part of your family y/n.”

“You are a part of my family Jungkook.” You whisper to him and he flips on his side to get a look at your face.

“Your parents are awesome.” He chuckles.

You playfully roll your eyes and smile, “Yeah, they’re something.”

“They want you to bring home a boyfriend.”

“Too bad all they got is you.”

“Yeah, too bad.” Jungkook grins at you, he lifts his hand to your face and caresses your cheek. “You’re so pretty. I wasn’t lying…I do find you very, very cute” he says softly and you fucking melt. You sigh out and he leans in closer, you aren’t entirely sure but it feels like he’s about to kiss you.

He leans in so close until he’s raising his face just a bit and he kisses the top of your forehead.

“I think I’ll go to bed now.” He whispers.

“Wait—” You grab on to the material of his sweater, accidentally bringing him too close to you, his mouth bumping into yours.

You immediately begin to panic, your eyes shoot to Jungkook’s and he looks as surprised as you. He is silent for far too many moments until his eyes crinkle and he’s laughing, his bunny teeth on full display.

“Oops.” He says, still laughing.

“I am so sorry, oh my god.” You get up slightly, leaning on your elbows. “That was an accident.”

“Well,” Jungkook brings his fingers to his lips, “It’s not the worst thing that could happen.” He says, his shy tone making you melt all over again.

“Sorry again, wow.”

Jungkook stands from the bed and you follow his lead, walking him towards the bedroom door.

“Goodnight Jungkook.”

This is it. The moment Jimin was talking about. A moment where he can have courage.

“y/n…I just…can I tell you something…?”

“What is it?” you raise a curious brow.

Jungkook looks into your eyes for several moments, taking long, deep breaths.

“I love you.” He finally admits, after years of keeping that to himself he finally told you he loves you. He loves you with all his fucking heart, he loves you more than anyone else in his entire life. He loves you. This? This is courage.

“Huh? I love you too, JK.” You give him a weird look and laugh. “Goodnight.” And you shut the door.

“No, I…”

Was he not clear?

“I love you y/n…” he whispers to himself, “Like, really really love you.” He says to no one but the ghosts that haunt this house.

“Goodnight y/n.”

[yoonpobs]

bad boy good thing xiv.

pairing: jeon jungkook x oc

genre: angst, smut, fluff, miscommunication (we hate her lol), pining

warnings: smut, jungkook is really an asshole, the angst hurts a lot tbh, unhealthy relationships (?)

words: 5, 690

summary: a series of drabbles where you're confused and jungkook's confusing

a/n:

hello!!!! we’re here at fourteen chapters omg ✨✨when i first started this series it was mostly self-indulgent and now there are people who actually enjoy reading it??🥺 it almost doesn’t seem real T.T 

thank you so much for the love and support!!! just so I don't give too much spoilers for this chap - I apologise to my fellow geminis for the potential slander 🤣 this is more of a self-drag lmaooo 

anyway, I hope you enjoy this chap!!!

“Ah. I’m getting allergies.” Yena sniffs, scrunching her nose.

You furrow your brows in concern, “Are you okay? Do you need any medicine?”

“It’s just the seasonal changes,” She brushes you off.

You nod in understanding, “I get it. My mom has horrible reactions towards pollen so—”

“I’m not allergic to flowers.” She blinks.

“Then what—?”

“It’s Gemini season. It’s like—literally the worst time of the year.” She blinks.

You gawk at her, taking a whole ten seconds to process her serious tone when she doesn’t waver under your scrutiny.

“I’m a Gemini,” You inform her slowly.

“I mean …” She shrugs all as you scowl at her, opting to throw the closest object you had, which was your favourite pen so you decide against it; simply shooting her the meanest glare you could possibly muster.

“Look, it’s not you,” She sighs, and you’re half-expecting her to finish with an it’s me to make you scoff, “It’s me.” And there you go. “I mean, it’s Gemini’s in general because they’re two-faced bitches who have the worst emotional attachment issues. Like they’re literally what the opposite of glue is. And they’re so over-analytical. How is it like psychoanalysing every person you meet only to hurt your own feelings and sulk about it?”

You blink.

“I mean it’s not you but if the shoe fits.” She says casually, plopping a grape into her mouth that you’re tempted to slap away.

“You’re so mean!” You pout indignantly.

She cackles, throwing her head back as you continue to sulk. You weren’t that bad. You just … you were risk-averse! You liked having the freedom to observe everyone and anyone and package them into tiny compartments in your head so you could understand them better. You weren’t … that Gemini.

“You’re so cute,” She coos pinching your cheeks. “No wonder Beef One and Beef Two like you so much.” She teases.

Your first reaction is to blush because you know who exactly she’s talking about, but you have more pressing matters, like—

“You have nicknames for them?” You ask, baffled.

“Hey, I wasn’t friends with many girls in high school. Don’t girls usually have nicknames for their crushes?” She says through a pout.

You stay expressionless as you try to gauge the level of seriousness you can extract from her tone.

You realise she’s dead serious.

“Yeah, but we’re in college,” You argue, scrunching your nose, “And sides’, it’s not like they’re strangers. We know them.”

She rolls her eyes, waving you off like you were the inconvenience here. Then she leans forward, her eyes twinkling as she takes a complete one-eighty that you try to adjust to.

“So … you Gemini hoe, what’s your plans?” She nudges you.

You raise a brow, “Did you just call me a—?”

“Plans, ___. Stay on track.” She scolds.

You sigh, still fond but you pretend to be annoyed. You really couldn’t get annoyed with Yena. After all, the more time you spend with her the more you realise how much life sucked before you had her in your life. You spent each moment learning more about her quirks and habits, her choice of words that made you giggle or laugh until you were crying.

And you realise that this is how she loves, a little rough but welcomed nonetheless.

“If you’re talking about my birthday then … not much. I’m probably stuck doing admin work for the college’s charity programme.” You shrug, stabbing a fork into your soiled salad.

Yena gapes at you, “Not much—excuse me? It’s your birthday! You’re turning twenty-five!” 

You look at her dryly, “I’ve been twenty-five since the year—”

She groans, “That’s not the same! You’re like—officially twenty-five. You’re literally hitting the mark for a quarter-life crisis. Isn’t that something to celebrate?” 

“Me going through an existential crisis at the end of my degree is not how I want to celebrate my birthday but okay,” You blink.

She rolls her eyes at your realism.

“That’s not the point. Point is, this is our first birthday together and I want it to be special.” She points out.

You snort, “What? Are we doubling my birthday as our monthsary or something?”

She shoves you with a brute force that has you snickering but she continues to pester you anyway.

“You’re so dumb. So smart, but so dumb,” She shakes her head, “You’re always studying or doing some form of work that requires the use of more than one brain cell. You deserve a break. Besides, you have two dudes to pick from on how you’d like to be wined and dined and—”

“Yena!” You whine.

“—it’ll be like an episode of the Bachelorette! But just with a super cool and smart best friend that’ll make the decision for you. It’s not your birthday. It’s ours.” She emphasises towards the end.

You stare at her for a long second, before the two of you are bursting into laughter at the absurdity of her statement. 

It was nice, just to laugh about things without having your heart feel so heavy. Even if it was a mild distraction, it was still wholly pleasant to be able to just talk about mindless things that didn’t require much mental gymnastics to navigate the conversation with.

“What are the two of you laughing about?” Taehyung and Jimin arrive at impeccable timing, sliding into the booth with their own packaged food. It’s very college-student-esque, a cute paper (because no plastic) container filled with an array of assortments.

“None of your XY chromosomes business.” Yena retorts.

Jimin blinks, “You are literally so hostile.”

“Then don’t give me a reason to be.” She sticks her tongue out petulantly.

You laugh, nudging her with your shoulder, “Be nice.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes but manages to keep a civil smile on his face. Always the more rational one between the two. 

“Anyway, Yena definitely isn’t going to answer me so, what’s up?” He turns to look at you.

You roll your eyes but it’s half-hearted, “She wants to celebrate my birthday like we’re on the Bachelorette.”

“Like you’re on the Bachelorette.” She corrects.

“Oh my God, our baby’s turning twenty-five!” Jimin coos at the reminder, pinching your cheeks as he coddles you. You scowl and weakly shove him away, even if you preen under the attention.

“I’m literally older than the both of you.” You huff.

Yena blinks, “There’s no way I’m the oldest person at this table.”

Taehyung furrows his brows, “Wait—how old are you?”

She sends him a scathing glare that has his arms raised up in defence.

“Jeez, okay. Don’t answer.”

“I’m going to answer because you told me not to.” She clips. “I’m twenty-seven.”

Jimin blinks, “No wonder you and Yoongi hyung are so alike.”

You almost miss it, but as Yena so eloquently pointed out, you were a sucker for psychoanalysing people (even if you didn’t want to admit it yet) that you notice the way she flushes ever so slightly as she scoffs.

“Him? How dare you compare me to that sorry excuse of a—!”

“Okay, everyone is beneath you. I’m sorry your highness.” Jimin rolls his eyes.

You make a note to ask her about it because you know for a fact that Yoongi ‘complains’ about Yena every hour he can. It’s almost as if he can’t go long enough without mentioning her.

You smile to yourself as you duck your head.

“Exactly,” She flips her hair over her shoulders before turning to face you. “Anyway, back to you—our baby.”

Taehyung nods, “Exactly, the baby.”

You scrunch your nose, “Don’t coddle me.”

He pats your head before cooing at you like he would to an actual baby, “But you’re just so cute. You’re too good for this shitty world. Too good for the likes of mere mortals like us.”

“Not me.” Yena blinks before gesturing to their bodies, “You.”

Jimin sticks his tongue out in retaliation as you sigh at their never-ending bickering.

Somehow … it felt right. You think it most of the times but you don’t know any other way to describe how it feels to be back with your friends, laughing, bickering and just appreciating their presence.

When you and Jungkook had your issues, it was like you made the conscious choice to avoid everyone and anyone as much as you could, and any interaction you had during that period was purely out of coincidences and not the intention. You remember actively avoiding Jimin and Taehyung because it felt too draining to pretend like you didn’t have a battle in your head. Even studying or spending time with Namjoon made you feel guilty, the thought of Jungkook lingering in your mind. Yena was there through it all, but even then you saw her as much as you did with any of your classmates you so happened to share a class with.

In fact, if it weren’t for Yena you’d probably have zero social interactions as a whole because she just knew. She somehow picked up on your internal conflicts but never outwardly shamed you or confronted you about it. All she did was be there for you, offering you her presence and you were grateful.

So, yeah. Things were better, but your heart was still at its core—confused. Your feelings for Jungkook didn’t disappear overnight and you knew that you were the one that asked for space.

You forgave him … you did, honestly. But there are things you can’t forget, and those are the things that you wished you could. The words he said in principle, was outright shitty. But the fact that it came from him only poked at every single one of your insecurities that you developed over the years.

You knew it wasn’t healthy to compare yourself to other women when they were living vastly different lives than you were, but it’s proven difficult when you’re forced to see these type of women every day, at college, in your community work or on the media. 

Believing Jungkook’s apparent feelings for you was harder because, well. Jungkook was Jungkook. He wasn’t just another guy, and despite his shortcomings, he had more merits than he’d let on and you knew that people saw that. It was also the fact that Jungkook had a charm that drew all types of people in. He was soft-spoken but passionate, and people loved a quiet achiever.

You … knew about the women. Way before Jennie and way before the thing between the two of you happened. Jimin and Taehyung would always update you about the new fling or girl he had tied to his hip just as he was in his final year in high school. You had to force a smile every single time they’d snicker and joke about how your Jungkook suddenly became a man overnight.

And you noticed the trend with the women he liked. They were … captivating. Beautiful wasn’t even enough to describe them because they looked like they could carry the world on their shoulders and spark immense change with just the movement of their lips. They were confident and charismatic, outgoing and just the right amount of flirty. You were anything but.

It sucked, majorly, because you spent years agonising over the fact that you were already coined with the older sister title in the group because of the way you acted—just a little more uptight than the average woman your age. You were quiet but loud in the right company; you didn’t like crowds, socialising or mingling around with people you didn’t know and based on your observations it seemed like that was the only thing that Jungkook’s been doing ever since he made it to senior year in high school, and even in the first years of college.

You don’t resent him, you think. You couldn’t blame him because you weren’t honest either. You consented, to all of the kisses and touches even if he hadn’t officially had sex with you. You wanted to, but you were terrified. Not at the prospect of penetration but at the prospect of not being enough and the fact that Jungkook was the only person you wanted to have sex with while he had options that were far more attractive and experienced than you were.

That’s why you needed time because at least you could get your shit together even if it was an uphill battle.

“Earth to ____?” Taehyung waves a hand in front of your face with a concerned expression.

You blink, snapping out of your daze as you offer a meek smile and an apology.

“We just asked you if you wanted a small get together at Tae’s and I’s place for your birthday?” Jimin asks.

“Really?” You beam. That was exactly what you preferred.

“Yeah, we know you don’t like clubs and stuff. Just a small and intimate gathering with all your best buds.” He grins.

You nod your head, but Yena beats you to a response.

“By best buds you mean the three friends she has, which is us and the two meatheads duelling for her affection.” She snorts.

You flush, “Y-Yena!”

Taehyung snickers at your embarrassment.

“It doesn’t help that both of them are literally the biggest dudes on the football team. It’s literally like watching King Kong and Godzilla getting into a fight for world domination.”

Jimin throws his back in laughter as you fold your arms across your chest at post at the way your friends are practically crying in laughter at the image. Jimin was clutching onto Taehyung for his dear life because if he didn’t then he’d fall off the chair.

“Stop,” You whine, “you guys are being mean.”

“Oh my God, you’re literally the only person on this earth that would take two people fighting for your attention as an offence.” Taehyung groans.

“I-It’s not that!” You deny exasperatedly, “I-It’s just … awkward …”

Jimin sighs with a small smile, patting your head.

“If it’s any consolation I think it’s offensive that Jungkook thinks he even has the right to breathe in—”

“Jimin!”

“Wow. It really is like King Kong and Godzilla.” Jimin whistles lowly, eyeing the scene before him with amusement lingering in his eyes.

“Do you think they’re gonna start slamming their chests soon or …?” Taehyung trails off in a whisper, leaning into Jimin so that the two other men wouldn’t notice.

“I can literally hear you.” You say dryly.

Jimin offers you a plastic smile, “You’re meant to hear us, babe. How about you try to tame them like Jane did with Tarzan?”

Jimin nearly shrieks when you shove him so fiercely that he topples over into Taehyung’s grasp as the second part of the duo only catches him in the process. 

You sigh, completely ignoring the way that Jimin’s muttering curses that were directed to you under his breath. Instead, you were transfixed on the scene before you—which specifically is Jungkook and Namjoon staring each other down through the mirror of the gym. You were lucky that it was just the five of you since Namjoon was able to use his captain privileges to book the gym because you had no idea how to explain the fact that two big-sized men were attempting to outdo each other in their circuit reps as if they were on a suicide mission.

“Listen, when I agreed to help you out with your sets I thought I was meant to help log it in for a report.” You exasperate, but the two men continue their manly lift-off as they huff and puff their exertion away.

“Trust me, you are helping. Being the motivation is more than—”

This time it’s Taehyung who faces your wrath as you thwack him upside the head. 

From where Jungkook and Namjoon were, Jungkook can only deliver death stares into the direction of his captain who returns it tenfold. He wasn’t even sure why they were doing this but something a flicked definitely switched in Jungkook when Namjoon (purposefully) revealed that you were helping out with something. At the gym. Supposedly alone.

Jungkook’s primitive side came out because the next thing Namjoon knew was that Jungkook managed to drag himself, and Jimin and Taehyung as a diversion. He still feels his chest swell with pride when recalling the scowl on Namjoon’s face when he entered the gym, all fake smiles and a pep in his step.

“____, could you help me spot?” Namjoon breathes, sitting up from whatever the hell he was doing with the barbell. You weren’t fixated with gym language and you weren’t even sure why he was asking you when there was an entire Jimin and Taehyung right next to you.

“Uh, okay sure—“

“Noona,” Jungkook calls.

You freeze.

“Jungkook … I thought we established that you don’t need to call me that anymore.” You raise an eyebrow.

You miss the obvious glare that Namjoon shoots his bitchass friend, as well as the snorts that leave Jimin and Taehyung’s mouth.

“Pay attention to me,” Jungkook pouts. Like, actually pouts. You somehow flush because he seemed so much like the younger version of Jungkook who used to always coddle you for attention.

“Okay but after I help—”

“Yeah. After she helps me.” Namjoon interjects, and you nearly jump at the way he’s suddenly behind you, more so—pressed against your back with his hands on your hips as he moves you aside to get to another piece of equipment.

Your breath hitches because while you weren’t exactly invested in Namjoon in the romantic sense, he was undeniably attractive and … big. You could salivate in private.

“Oh my God, do you see that?” Taehyung hisses in a hushed whisper.

“Hyung is petty,” Jimin gawks.

“This is Namjoon we’re talking about. Didn’t he steal all the umbrellas from your dorm because you ratted him out to the librarian when he broke a bookshelf?” Taehyung recalls.

Jimin pauses to retract his mind to that moment.

“He’s so petty and I’m living for it. Look at Kook’s face,” He snickers, nudging Taehyung with his shoulder.

Jungkook only can clench his jaw in return because he knew that you wouldn’t be a fan of him reaching out to strangle the shit out of Namjoon. But the older boy seems fine, if not pleased with how Jungkook’s fuming in his own spot.

“Let me just …” You cock a thumb to Namjoon, before releasing a breath of your own and going to help him with whatever he needed in the first place.

“Jimin can help him. I have a more pressing problem.” He complains.

You stop in your tracks before turning around, raising an eyebrow at Jungkook who finally sits up, still staring at you like you held all the solutions in the world.

“Literally wait for your turn,” Namjoon scowls.

“My arm hurts,” Jungkook says, raising his arm to show you. 

“I don’t … see anything?” You furrow your brows.

“Because my muscles hurt, Noona,” Jungkook emphasises with a flex of his bicep and you can feel yourself get hot in the way your eyes can’t stray away.

You’re momentarily distracted by the blatant display of muscle by Jungkook that you completely miss the way that Jimin and Taehyung are struggling to breathe because of how hard they’re stifling their laughter or the way that Namjoon is contemplating on throwing the nearest dumbbell into Jungkook’s direction.

You flush, “Okay, you know what? Wait here. Let me get the first aid kit.” You mumble, quickly scampering off to alleviate yourself from the situation.

The moment you leave the room, Namjoon takes two long strides until he reaches where Jungkook’s sat, before wrapping a hand around the arm that was supposedly hurt—and squeezes.

“Ow! What the fuck hyung?!” Jungkook shrieks.

“Don’t hyung me, you brat.” Namjoon seethes, “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Jungkook gapes, while Jimin and Taehyung watch in amusement.

“Me?! What’s wrong with you?” Jungkook retorts, equally as agitated, “Oh, _____, help spot me! Woe is me! Like she wouldn’t get crushed under you, you meathead!” 

“Like you’re any better,” Namjoon snaps, “Oh, Noona, pay attention to me. My arm hurts. You might as well have asked her to change your fucking diapers at the rate you’re acting like a damn child.”

“You’re the one that started all of this!” Jungkook exasperates, “With all due respect hyung, I love you and you’re my captain but I really feel like smashing your head into the wall right now.”

“That’s it?” Namjoon scoffs, “Well I’ll do you one better and let you know that every time you breathe in my direction I feel like—”

“Oh my God will you two idiots shut the fuck up?” Taehyung interjects, snapping at the two boys who pause, staring up at him with wide eyes.

Even Jimin is surprised at Taehyung’s intervention, purely because he was the type that usually let shit slide or let other people put problematic individuals into place. He was the mediator, the diplomat—not usually the aggressor.

“Wha—”

“Another peep and I’m going to smother your body under the dumbbells and leave you here to rot and die.” Taehyung seethes, staring straight into Jungkook’s soul.

That shuts him up.

“Both of you are acting like goddamn children, and for what? To battle out your masculinity to see who gets ____’s attention first?” Taehyung exasperates.

Namjoon clears his throat, “We were just—”

“—acting like a bunch of barbarians who’s never seen civilisation?” Taehyung retorts dryly, “Yeah. Because that’s exactly what this looks like. The two of you are so petty and for what? You two are literally rubbing the last remaining brain cells you have with each other but nothing is coming out from it. Like—nothing. Do you think she’d give a shit which one of you can lift more reps? That means absolutely nothing! She’s already freaked the fuck out at the prospect of her childhood best friend being in love with her and now we have Big Tit Number One and Two battling it out like you’re in the Greek Olympics.”

Jungkook blinks, and Jimin is mildly impressed.

“So before she comes back and tends to Jungkook’s hurt muscle,” Taehyung sneers, eyes narrowing at a guilty-looking Jungkook, “Both of you better sort your shit out.”

Namjoon flushes, embarrassed at the prospect of being called out, all while Jungkook is avoiding eye contact at all costs.

“Oh my God, do you have a crush on each other or something? Apologise!” Taehyung gestures towards the two boys who awkwardly blink at each other, feeling much like reprimanded children.

It’s Namjoon who breaks the silence first, clearly the more mature one in the situation.

“Look … Jungkook,” He sighs, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to … drag it out like this. I don’t mean it maliciously and you’re my friend and teammate, so I’d really hate if a girl got in the way.”

Jungkook nibbles on his lips, eyebrows still scrunched; and the irrational part of him tells him to ignore the apology. But with the way that Taehyung is glaring him down, with Jimin’s expectant gaze, he knows that he doesn’t have much of a choice.

“I’m sorry … too,” he winces at his own voice, “But just to let you know … I really …” He shuts his eyes, feeling his chest tighten when he tries to force the words out, “She isn’t just … a girl to me, hyung. I really, really like her. And—I know you like her too but … I fucked up and I really want to make things right and seeing you—”

Jungkook is flushing while he rambles on, fully aware that the rest of his friends are listening intently to him speaking his heart. But a hand rests itself on his shoulder, and when Jungkook opens his eyes he sees Namjoon offering him a gentle smile.

“I know,” He says, “I know I said I wouldn’t back off …” He trails off and Jungkook recalls the conversation he had with him in the very same gym just a few weeks back, “But I don’t think I can compete with a decade long love story.” 

Jungkook scoffs, though his ears are flushed.

“It’s really not—”

Namjoon waves him off, clasping a tight hand onto his back that tells him it’s okay, and whatever that was going on would get better. And Jungkook feels marginally better and allows himself to let out a sigh of release.

“So are the two of you gonna kiss or what?” Jimin asks in the midst of the silence.

Namjoon glares at the boy, “Don’t make me give you an extra ten laps.”

He backs down immediately, raising his hands up in defence. And at that moment, you return, all smiles and with a pant as you raise the first aid kit up.

“Your arm?” You smile sweetly, and Jungkook can only offer a weak on in return.

“Can I ask you something?” 

“Depends. Will I have to run from the government if I answer you honestly?” Yena ponders out loud.

You roll your eyes but shake your head anyway. The two of you were meant to be cooking dinner but you’ve surrendered yourself to Netflix and Yena’s witty live commentary on horrible films you were scrolling through an hour earlier. Though, your head wasn’t quite in it, to begin with; your thoughts drifting to other aspects, ones that you thought too hard for and didn’t necessarily know the answer to.

It was frustrating, the way that you wanted to have a solution for everything but overthought every single case that happens to pass by your mind. 

“No one’s hunting anyone down, your anarchist,” You say, “This is a little … personal.” 

You didn’t have any girl friends prior to Yena, and that was your first mistake. You weren’t the person that actively avoided having girl friends because you thought they were dramatic or overly emotional but purely because you never knew how to befriend women. It was weird—being a woman yet being muddled with your own sense of femininity that suppressed your ability to form meaningful friendships with your women peers.

Throughout most of your childhood and teenaged life, you only had Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook. While they were more than enough to keep your memories cheerful and filled with laughter, there were more personal things that you couldn’t quite approach them with. They had each other to confide in their ‘manly’ discussions, small talk that you’d often flush at—but you couldn’t ask them the same things you wanted to.

You knew, that on a fundamental level that your personal things were just … things. It wasn’t that deep, nor did it require a PhD in Gender Studies to fully understand the nuance of periods or apparent ‘girl’ problems; you just needed to listen. But you were timid, and you got embarrassed super easily—so that never boded well whenever you’d want to approach them with a question of your own.

But now, you had Yena—debatably the most open and understanding person you’ve met in your life; and you owed it to yourself, and her—to be honest, to live yourself vicariously in your girl best friends eyes—and ask:

“How do you have sex?”

Granted, there was definitely a smoother way of peeling off the bandaid, but you supposed if you were going to be discussing this one way or another, you’d go big or go home.

“I’m sorry,” She coughs, “What?”

You blink.

“Sorry, I guess I should’ve asked if you were a virgin first …” You mumble.

Yena stares at you with a stupefied expression as she gapes at you.

“Hey, repeat after me: candy, tree and cat.” She grabs you by your shoulders.

“I’m not cerebrally compromised, Yena,” you say dryly.

“Repeat,” She glares.

You huff, shoving her hand off your shoulder.

“Candy, tree and cat. There, happy?” You huff.

She eyes you weirdly as you sigh. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes!” You exasperate, “So like … how? Do you just? Penetrate?”

Yena blinks one more time, her eyes trailing to the ceiling as she asks for a higher being to give her strength before she returns her gaze onto your figure.

“Babe, that is literally the unsexiest way to approach sex.” 

“Penetration?” You furrow your brows.

She scrunches her brows, “No.” She gestures to you, “That.”

You scowl.

“I don’t know how to approach sex! That’s why I’m asking you. I literally don’t know who else to approach. If I went to Jimin or Taehyung I’m pretty sure they’d just stare at me and cry. Namjoon is out of the picture because he’d likely approach sex textbook style and I don’t need that level of detail right now. I definitely can’t ask Jungkook because he’s the guy I wanna have sex with. So yeah. I’m here because you’re a woman and the only person I can have a full conversation with without losing my will to live.”

Yena gawks at you, jaw slack as you finish your ramble; ears flushed.

“… you …” She begins, wracking her brain for the words that seem to fail her, “… okay. You know what, the fact that you’re here and putting your big girl pants on and asking me this is a feat in itself so I’m going to just ignore the fact that you said you wanted to have sex with Jungkook.”

You flush, “I was word vomiting—”

“Ah,” She holds her hands up, levelling you with a knowing glare, “If you want honest, you be honest too.”

You slump in your seat, sighing as you nod your head defeatedly.

“Firstly, I’m not a virgin. I could never be a virgin.” Yena declares, “Granted, I’ve slept with three people and two of them were women. But the idiot I lost my virginity to was, unfortunately, of XY chromosomes so … I guess I can answer your questions.”

“I mean … I know how sex works but … approaching it …” You mutter.

“And sex isn’t this groundbreaking act that requires Einstein’s IQ to partake in. It’s both intimate and not, and that’s definitely a personal preference. You can know the semantics of how people have sex, for hets in this case, which is just the classic ol’ penetration method where the penis enters the—”

“Your point?” You exasperate.

“—okay, I got a little carried away. But really, sex isn’t … difficult. It’s scary, I’ll give you that. But you don’t go into your first time thinking you’ll be great at it. Hell, you won’t even like sex that much your first few times unless your partner is a sex demon or something.”

“I mean when Jungkook …” You shudder, “When he … I … you know, did things … it felt …” You fiddle with your fingers. Your ears were undoubtedly on fire, and you were so embarrassed saying these things out loud because it was just so awkward!

“Good? You know I’m not going to judge you for it,” she says pointedly, “That’s what friends are for, right?”

You flush, covering your face with your hands in embarrassment. You knew that Yena would never judge you for something as trivial and as unimportant as your sexual endeavours, but this was still a road you’ve yet to properly navigate yourself.

“I … came,” you wince at your breathy voice, “It felt good. And … he’s experienced, you know? I just don’t want to …”

Yena looks at you inquisitively.

“You don’t want to …?”

You sigh deeply, considering your next words with a soft murmur, “I don’t want to not live up to his expectations, you know?”

She frowns at you, “Jungkook’s made some mistakes but you said it yourself. He’s in love with you,” she says softly, “There’s no pressure to have sex with him just because it’s out in the open now, you know?”

You nibble on your lips.

“It’s … more than just that,” you tell her, “I told him I needed time, and really, I do. But it isn’t because I’m confused. I mean, kind of—but really it’s because I don’t want to walk into something and disappoint him … I’m just … scared.”

Yena holds your hand in hers while offering you a gentle smile.

“It’s valid that you’re scared. But there really isn’t anything that can come out of being scared right now. The two of you worked through an obstacle, and here you are creating another one that doesn’t quite exist yet. Trust me, when the time feels right, it does. And you’ll feel ready. Will you still be scared? Maybe. But it’ll feel like it’s meant to fit within your timeline.”

You nibble on your lips, “Is it bad that I’m overthinking this?” You wince.

Yena shrugs her shoulders, “Like everything else in your life?” She teases.

You whine, shoving at her shoulder playfully where all Yena does is snicker in response. You weren’t quite sure what you were expecting out of the conversation, even if it was vaguely about the ins and outs of sexual exploration. And she was right, you’ll always be afraid of something, whether it’ll benefit you or harm you because that’s what change does. It shifts your comfort zone into a space that may be unfamiliar but necessary.

You lean into Yena’s shoulder, and a wave of overwhelming emotion washes upon you when you look at her. You really didn’t know how you survived a time without Yena in your life. And as if she’s noticed your glassy gaze, she raises an eyebrow at you.

“What are you looking at?”

You grin at her, all teeth and gums on display as you hug onto her arm like a koala.

“I’m just really happy you’re in my life.” You sigh wistfully.

She pauses for one whole second before she snorts.

“Wow, talk about sex once and suddenly you’re in love with me?” She wiggles her eyebrows at you, “Tell Jeon and Kim that you’re mine now.”

You giggle, rolling your eyes.

“They’re not even competing in the same league as you are,” you assure her.

She smiles.

“So … does that mean I don’t need to get you a birthday gift?”

That earns a thwack on her shoulder.

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

Timeline: Batman

google doc / ao3

This is my best attempt at a post-crisis timeline based on age-- specifically Bruce’s age every time he adopted and/or met one of his children. 

List of events:

Bruce’s parents die

Bruce becomes Batman

Dick’s parents die

Dick becomes Robin

Jason becomes Robin and is adopted

Jason dies

Tim becomes Robin

Cass appears

Dick is adopted

Tim is adopted

Cass is adopted

Damian becomes Robin

I’ll be citing my work by issue and panel. This isn’t my most organized work, and I don’t know how well tumblr will let me translate it, so I do recommend the google doc. I imagine the image quality here won’t be great. 

Notes:

This is a post-crisis timeline (1986-2011). I’ll be referencing a few pre-crisis panels, but I won’t be touching the New 52 or anything after it. That’s a different game of ball with its own, extremely bad, timeline.

Crisis on Infinite Earths is a 1985-1986 series that rebooted the DC timeline and altered some backstories, including Jason’s. Pre-crisis, his backstory was almost identical to Dick’s. Post-crisis, he changed to the “steal the wheels off the Batmobile” origin. Anything written before 1986 is a weak source for my purposes. 

My original question centered around Bruce’s age through the process of meeting and acquiring his children. In this timeline, those children are (1) Dick Grayson, (2) Jason Todd, (3) Cassandra Cain, (4) Tim Drake, and (5) Damian Wayne. I was envisioning an interview where the kids explain their family timeline to outsiders. I did not anticipate the project taking this long. 

We’re talking about 72 years of content here, which means decades of contradiction, conflation, and rewrites. I’m pretty satisfied with my work product, but please understand that there are no perfect answers. I’m going to cite my sources, and I’ll do my best to explain why I chose those sources specifically, but it’s pretty likely that for every panel I pull, there will be others with different numbers. We’re all going to have to live with that. 

Event timeline

*I’m defining Jason’s age by the time elapsed since his birth, but you could make an argument for using time he has been alive, which is, of course, different. That’s why the parentheses are there. 

Age differences

As Robin

----------

Bruce’s parents die

Pretty consistently, Bruce is written as eight years old the night his parents died. 

Detective Comics #0 (1994)

This is a zero issue where Bruce thinks back on his origin story. It was written long after Crisis on Infinite Earths (1986), and I tend to give a lot of weight to ages written in summaries of past plot lines, my reasoning being that it’s easier to be consistent in one issue than it is to be consistent through a month to month story. 

Bruce first appeared as an adult in Detective Comics #27 (1939), and the Waynes were already dead at that point, so flashbacks are the only available material anyway. 

Gotham Knights #6 (2000)

The text is Hugo Strange talking about Bruce, and the image is Tim and Dick playing at Wayne Enterprises. 

I’ll take a second here to note that I did find at least one alternate age for Bruce— in Superman/Batman Secret Files & Origins (2003), Bruce was 10 when his parents died. I’m disregarding that in favor of the stronger 8 year old timeline, especially in light of Batman #404 (1987).

Batman #404 is the beginning of Batman: Year One, which was explicitly written to clarify the Batman timeline post-crisis, and it’s the basis of most of my calculations for Bruce and Dick’s ages.

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Bruce becomes Batman

According to Year One, Bruce was 26 years old when he became Batman. I’m using his age at his parents’ deaths, his age when he returned to Gotham, and his 18 year timeline.

Batman #404 puts Bruce at age 25 when he returned to Gotham in January. 

Batman #404 (1987)

Bruce gives his dramatic, “Yes, Father, I will become a bat,” line in March. In the same scene, he says that it has been 18 years since his parents’ deaths. Knowing that they died when Bruce was eight, that puts Bruce at 26 years old the day he became Batman, which makes sense considering Bruce’s birthday is usually set at February 19th. 

He was 25 in January, turned 26 in February, and became Batman at 26, 18 years after his parents’ death. 

Batman #404 (1987)

Post-crisis, DC built timelines off the “Year” model. Year One is Batman’s beginning, and events after that are measured by how far away they are from the year Bruce became Batman. I’ll be using the Year model for Dick’s life events next. 

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Dick’s parents die

The Graysons died in Year Two. Using the Year Model, Dick was 12 when his parents died, and Bruce was 37. 

Year timelines appear a fair amount, especially in issues titled “Secret Files & Origins.” I pulled this bit from Batman Secret Files & Origins (1997) because it was the easiest to screenshot. 

Batman Secret Files & Origins (1997)

Year Two would place Bruce at 27 years old. I’m calculating Dick’s age backwards, based on him being 13 years old during Year Three. 

Batman Secret Files & Origins (1997) 

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Dick becomes Robin

Dick became Robin in Year Three, when he was 13 years old and Bruce was 28. I’m using two different issues to calculate the number. 

Batman #441 (1989)

Batman #441 is from Tim’s introduction story. It takes place “months” after Jason’s death. We’ll get to that part. In Batman #441, Tim asked Dick to be Robin again in order to help Bruce, who was visibly unstable after Jason’s death. Dick says that he can’t go back to being Robin, just like he can’t go back to being 13 years old. The strong implication there is that Dick became Robin at 13, which corresponds to Dick’s statements in Batman #416 (1988). 

In Batman #416, Dick as Nightwing returns to confront Bruce about Jason becoming Robin. He says that he was Robin for six years, and he stopped being Robin at 19.

Batman #416 (1988)

If Dick stopped being Robin at 19, after 6 years, that would put him at 13 when he debuted as Robin, the same number from Batman #441 (1989).

Dick was 13 during Year Three, so 12 during Year Two, the year his parents died. Those numbers answer the first bit of my original question. I wanted to know how old Dick and Bruce were when Dick became his child. It’s a bit more of a complicated question for Dick, since he was originally Bruce’s ward, then adopted as an adult. 

Based on the timeline so far, Dick became Bruce’s ward at 12 years old, while Bruce was 27.  

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Jason becomes Robin and is adopted

As previously discussed (see Notes), Jason’s timeline is complicated by Crisis on Infinite Earths (1985-1986). Pre-crisis, Jason first appeared in Batman #336 (1983) as a former circus acrobat very similar to Dick.

Jason’s origin story reboots at Batman #408 (1987), which describes the switch-off between Dick and Jason. I’m building a lot of my timeline off of that issue. At the beginning, Dick gets shot by the Joker, and as Bruce carries him away, the media ask if Robin is dead. Dick isn’t dead, but back at the manor, Bruce decides to retire Robin as a role, based on the idea that crimefighting is too dangerous for a child. 

Batman #408 (1987)

This version is more or less from Bruce’s point of view, but there’s a contrasting version from Dick’s point of view later, in Batman #416 (1987). That one has a significantly different tone, and I already cited it once (page 13) because Dick talks about his age and the amount of time he was Robin.  

Batman #408 (1987)

The second part of the issue takes place “weeks” later. Bruce goes to Crime Alley to mourn his parents on the anniversary of their death. He comes back to find that somebody stole the wheels off the Batmobile. The somebody was Jason, and by the end of Batman #409 (1987), Bruce is calling Jason “Robin.”

Batman #408 (1987) seems to divide Dick’s departure and Jason’s introduction by only “weeks,” in the post-crisis reboot. Dick’s version of the story in Batman #416 (1987) is much less charitable to Bruce— instead of ending on a panel of Bruce smiling, it shows the aftermath of Dick in tears as Bruce walks away. Dick goes on to describe leaving the house, going to college for a semester, then dropping out. According to Dick, Bruce didn’t even say goodbye. 

Batman #416 (1987)

I don’t think the stories are contradictory; they’re just different experiences of the same events, separated by only eight issues. Dick tells us that he was 19 when he left Wayne Manor, and Bruce chooses his new Robin “weeks” later. 

As a summary, we know that Bruce’s parents died when he was eight, and that 18 years passed before he became Batman at 26. One year later, Dick’s parents died while Bruce was 27. One year after that, Dick became Robin at the age of 13. From those facts, Bruce is 15 years older than Dick. 

All of my calculations of Bruce’s age are based off of the age gap between him and Dick. Dick was 19 when Jason became Robin, so we know that at that time, Bruce was 34. We also know that at that time, Jason was 12. 

I can’t show a source for that number because it appears on the letter page of Batman #408 (1987), Jason’s introduction.

Even after a significant amount of investigation, I can’t find a copy of the letter page, but it’s cited by enough secondary sources for me to be comfortable using it. That issue is specifically written to show Jason’s origin, so it makes sense that it would contain Jason’s age at inception, even if the number wasn’t in the actual exposition. 

From Jason being 12, we can establish a seven-year age gap between Jason and Dick, who was 19 at the time. Now we know Bruce, Dick, and Jason’s ages, and the age differences between them.

Back to my original question— when did Bruce acquire Jason? We know that Bruce was 34 when Jason became his ward, and Jason was 12. The next question, however, is when did Bruce adopt Jason? On this one, I’m making an educated guess. 

Again we have to differentiate between pre-crisis and post-crisis timelines. Pre-crisis, there’s a full storyline about the fact that Bruce did not adopt Jason, although not for lack of trying. In Batman #374 (1984), the Child Welfare Bureau investigates Bruce when it notices that Bruce has not adopted Jason— and is not even, in fact, his legal guardian. 

Batman #374 (1984)

The rest of the storyline is about Jason’s custody. A villain named Natalia Knight (Nocturna) adopts Jason in an attempt to get Bruce to marry her in order to become Jason’s father. In the court scene in Batman #377 (1984), Bruce says that he filed to adopt Jason sometime beforehand, although it’s unclear to me whether he means he filed between those issues or the CWB documents were incomplete.

Natalia does adopt Jason in Batman #378 (1984), and he briefly lives with her before returning to Wayne Manor in Batman #381 (1985), directly before the reboot. 

I’m including all of that for two reasons: first, I do think it’s important to clarify both this version and the post-crisis version I’m about to address. Second, I spent years under the impression that Bruce adopted Jason pre-crisis because of one, well-known scene. 

Batman #377 (1984)

Batman #378 (1984)

Batman #381 (1985)

Donna Troy gets married in Tales of the Teen Titans #50 (1985). At the wedding, Bruce and Dick have a conversation about Jason and about their own relationship. A few of those panels get spread around because they contain what I would consider a defining moment between Dick and Bruce. 

I’m certainly not complaining about the amount of times I’ve seen the wedding conversation, but I think that, in regards to Jason, seeing just those panels has created a misconception.

Tales of the Teen Titans #50 (1985)

Without context, it looks, at least to me, like Dick is saying that Bruce has adopted Jason pre-crisis, which isn’t true. This issue takes place between the Natalia adoption in Batman #378 (1984) and Jason’s return to the manor in Batman #381 (1985), and the panels directly before the exchange make that clear. I just didn’t see those panels until I looked through the whole issue for this project. 

I’m reasonably certain that in the past, I publicly cited this issue as evidence of Jason’s adoption, and I was wrong about that. [Note: As it turns out, I was only partially wrong. See section Correction.]

Tales of the Teen Titans #50 (1985)

As we see, the wedding conversation is in the context of the Natalia adoption. With that cleared up, and with the pre-crisis timeline filled out, let’s move to post-crisis. 

In my brief read-through of Batman #404-427 (1987-1988), I didn’t find any direct references to Jason’s status. Those issues begin at the reboot and end at Jason’s death. However, Dick and Jason’s statements after the fact do tell us that post-crisis, Bruce did adopt Jason. 

In Batman #436 (1989), Dick returns to the manor in the direct aftermath of Jason’s death, and while he is there, he sees that Bruce removed any trace of Jason from the house. There aren’t any trophies in the Batcave, and there aren’t any pictures of Jason on the nightstand displaying Bruce’s family photos. 

Dick says that Jason was Bruce’s son.

Batman #436 (1989)

I think it’s fair to ask whether Dick is being literal here, because even if Bruce hadn’t legally adopted Jason, it would still be more than appropriate to call them father and son. I’m not going to place my opinion solely on this kind of statement, even if it does appear pretty regularly from 1988 to the end of the timeline.

Green Arrow/Black Canary #4 (2007)

We get a more definite answer later, during Tim’s first appearance. In Tim’s origin story, he deduces Batman and Robin’s secret identities after he sees footage of Robin doing a type of flip that only the Flying Graysons could do. Tim was at the circus the night Dick’s parents died, so he saw Dick do the flip there, then saw Dick become an orphan. 

Because Tim knew that Dick was the first Robin, he correctly identified Bruce as Batman and Jason as the second Robin. He tells Dick all of this in Batman #441 (1989).

Batman #441 (1989)

Tim does specifically use the word “adopts” here, and that’s good enough for me. The last part is guesswork— I don’t know for certain how old Jason and Bruce were when the adoption took place, but I’m electing to say Jason was 12, the same age as he was when he became Robin. 

I picked that number both out of convenience and because Tim seems to be putting Jason’s adoption and the second Robin’s appearance at around the same time. With that in mind, I think that Jason was 12 years old both when he became Robin and when Bruce adopted him. Using the age gap we already established, that would put Bruce at age 34. 

Circling back to my original question, Dick became Bruce’s ward when Dick was 12 and Bruce was 27. Jason became Bruce’s ward, then adoptive son when Jason was 12 and Bruce was 34. 

At this point in the timeline, Bruce is 34 with one former ward and one adopted son. 

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Correction 

A few days after I wrote my section about Jason’s appearance and adoption, I realized that I was missing a panel citation in my discussion of Jason’s death. The panel is from New Titan #55 (1989), and you’ll see me cite it when I talk about Jason’s death certificate. 

New Titans #55 (1989) is the issue where Dick, who is with the Teen Titans,  finds out about Jason’s death. While I was combing through the issue for the panels I wanted, I reread a scene I had completely forgotten about. Dick goes back to the manor to speak to Bruce, and it doesn’t go well.

New Titans #55 (1989)

I have three comments here. First, I do think this scene is inconsistent with the simultaneous story in the Batman title. In this version, Dick and Bruce have a very aggressive confrontation, but in Batman #436 (1989), Dick appears to be returning to the manor for the first time since Jason died, and there isn’t any reference to a prior fight. 

Putting that aside, Bruce does explicitly say that he adopted Jason, and that’s more, stronger verification of a post-crisis adoption. Lastly, it’s pretty clear that Bruce and Dick are talking about the wedding scene. 

I already explained that the wedding scene is pre-crisis, and in the original text, that conversation is about Bruce wanting to, but not being able to, adopt Jason. New Titans #55 (1989) carries the wedding scene into post-crisis canon, changing the language in the process. In this version, Bruce has adopted Jason. 

I was still wrong about the wedding scene because in the past, I used it as evidence of a pre-crisis adoption. It isn’t pre-crisis evidence, but it is, in a roundabout way, evidence of the post-crisis adoption. I wanted to clear that up before I move on to Jason’s death. 

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Jason dies

Jason’s death is by far the shakiest point on my timeline, but I’ve chosen to put him at 15 the day he died in Batman #427 (1988). 

I think it’s safe to say that Jason was either 14 or 15 when he died, and my basic conclusion is that running numbers doesn’t give me a definite answer. There’s a cop-out option based on an extraordinarily poor source, and I’m taking the cop-out. 

The general consensus seems to be that Jason was 15 at his death, citation to Jason’s death certificate. Jason’s death certificate appears in two different places, and I think most folks conflate the two. 

To my knowledge, the only copy of Jason’s death certificate in full appears in The Batman Files (2011), where it does list Jason’s age as 15. 

The Batman Files (2011)

Now there is a partial copy in Batman Annual #25 (2006), which I would argue is a very reliable reference when it comes to Jason. That issue is part of the Under the Red Hood story, the one where Jason returns to Gotham for the first time after his resurrection. In fact, the specific annual issue has a timeline for Jason’s events counting forward from his death. 

Here’s the problem: the issue doesn’t say his age at death. The partial copy of his death certificate looks like this. 

Batman Annual #25 (2006) 

I think that when most folks remember a death certificate, they think of this one, the one from a very important issue, instead of The Batman Files (2011) which, as noted, is a very bad source. 

I have three issues with The Batman Files (2011): the format, the publishing date, and the other information on the certificate. First, The Batman Files (2011) isn’t a comic book at all. It’s a commemorative book published in collaboration with DC in 2011. Now I don’t think that fact completely removes the book as a source, but it certainly damages its value as one. 

My problem with that date, 2011, is that it’s the year the New 52 premiered. I called it a commemorative book because it’s meant to be a look back at a fully complete timeline, a kind of “this is us saying goodbye” product. The date and format alone make me hesitant to cite the certificate, but on top of that, the certificate is inconsistent with prior canon. 

I am intimately familiar with retcons and conflicting numbers in the DC timeline. I made a point at the beginning of this paper to tell you that although this is my best attempt to make a cohesive timeline, assuming that I can carve out a cohesive timeline is fundamentally flawed. 

I’m not saying that a single contradictory number is enough to make me disregard a source. I am saying that in this particular conversation about an already suspect source, I’m going to take inconsistency into account. 

In New Titans #55 (1989), the issue from Corrections, Dick finds out about Jason’s death because a team member notices Jason’s status is set at “unknown.” Dick uses Bruce’s passcode to access restricted information, and he and the Titans see that Jason’s real status is “deceased.” 

The death certificate in The Batman Files (2011) marks Jason’s height at 4’6 and his age at 15. In contrast, Dick’s scene puts Jason at 5’4, and its only reference to Jason’s age is a very relatable question from Donna. “How old was he, anyway?”

New Titans #55 (1989)

There’s a substantial difference between the two heights, and I think it’s also worth noting that for a 15 year old American male, 4’6 is in the 0.1 height percentile. In the past, I and many others have tried to justify that height along the lines of Jason being malnourished or similarly afflicted. Personally, I liked the parallel between this height for Jason and Damian’s height at his own death in 2013, and I know I’ve talked about that in the past.

I’m not criticizing anyone for using the 4’6 number, but I do think the unlikelihood of a 15 year old that size is worth bringing up. 

In summary, The Batman Files (2011) is so bad of a source that I’m only willing to use it as a last resort. Unfortunately, it’s time for a last resort. 

I mentioned a timeline in Batman Annual #25 (2006) that counts forward from Jason’s death. I’m not going to use image cites here because they’re just isolated text boxes labeled either “six months later” or “one year later.”

Using that timeline, we know that Jason’s resurrection took place six months after his death. He spent one year in a coma, then one year on the street, then one year with the League of Assassins. Finally, he spent a nebulous time training before he returned to Gotham. 

We know that Jason was gone for a minimum of three and a half years, then whatever time “training” includes. Personally, I’m applying my best attempt at comic logic to say he was missing for somewhere between three and four years. 

To understand the next bit, I need to point out that from Jason’s death on, I’m going to be using Tim’s age to track time in the same way I’ve been using Dick’s so far. 

As a reminder, I know what age Bruce was when Dick became Robin (28), and I know Dick’s age at the same point (13), so I know there’s a 15 year age difference. As I track Dick’s age through the timeline, I add 15 to get Bruce’s. 

In the same way, I know what age Dick was when Jason became Robin (19), and I know Jason’s age at the same point (12), so I know there’s a 7 year age difference. I can use that number ongoing. 

I know that Tim was 13 when he made his first appearance as Robin, and I’ll get into that in the next section. After that, I’m placing Dick, Tim, and Cass’s adoptions based on Tim’s age. 

To do that, I need to know how much older Dick is than Tim, and I can only get that by knowing Jason’s age at his death, sort of. 

How long was Jason Robin? If I had that information, I could establish Jason’s age by counting up from 12, the age when he became Robin, then establish Tim’s age from there.  

I can’t really answer that question. There is a panel from Batman #436 where Dick, apparently in his first time at the manor since Jason’s death says the following. 

Batman #436 (1989)

My instinctual interpretation is it’s been two years since he stopped being Robin at 19, making Dick 21 and Jason 14. In my opinion, that’s straightforward plain language, but it seems like I’m in the minority on that one, and most folks read it as Dick saying it’s been two years since he was last at the manor. We know from Batman #416 (1988) that Dick’s last visit to the manor was 18 months after Dick left home. 

Batman #136 (1988)

I think the most honest thing to say is that Jason was Robin for an indeterminate amount of time that was somewhere between two and three years. I don’t know which number is closer. I also, if you remember, think that Jason was gone from Gotham for somewhere between three and four years, but I don’t know where in that range the real number is. 

Here’s why absolutely nothing I’ve said in the past seven pages matters: I need to build my timeline based on the age gap between Jason and Tim. 

I don’t know how old Tim was when Jason died. 

I know how old Tim was at his first appearance as Robin, and that’s a different number. 

We’ll finish this conversation in a moment.

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Tim becomes Robin

We begin, thankfully, with a straightforward fact. Tim’s first storyline spans Batman #440-442 (1989). The arc is called A Lonely Place of Dying, and we already talked about it. Tim, having watched Batman and Robin from the shadows for years, comes forwards in the aftermath of Jason’s death in an attempt to convince Dick to become Robin for a second time.

Batman #441 (1989)

We know that Tim was 13 years old at the time, but I do need to clarify exactly what time that was— an indeterminate amount of time after Jason’s death. 

The word that pops up a couple of time in Tim’s first arc is “months,” from Tim and Two-Face. How many months? Who’s to say. 

Batman #442 (1989)

So, from the top. We know that Bruce was eight when his parents died, 26 when he became Batman, 27 when he met Dick, 28 when Dick became Robin, and 34 when he met Jason.

Dick was 12 when he met Bruce, 13 when he became Robin, 19 when he left home and Jason became Robin. 

Jason was 12 when he became Robin.

Bruce is 15 years older than Dick. Bruce is 22 years older than Jason. 

Dick is 7 years older than Jason.

How long was Jason Robin? Unknown, but somewhere between two and three years. At that point, he died. “Months” after that, Tim was 13. 

Here, we need to acknowledge that Jason could have been either 14 or 15 at his death, and at the same time, Tim was either 12 or 13. We need to know how far they are apart to calculate Tim’s age in relation to Jason, Dick, and Bruce— ongoing, we will always know exactly how old Tim is, so (if we know how far apart Jason and Tim are) we will always know Bruce, Dick, and Jason’s age from there. 

How much older than Tim is Jason? Somewhere between one and three years, I guess, but I can’t really go beyond a well-researched guess. In my opinion, there isn’t a straightforward answer for this one.

Having presented my facts, here is my conclusion. Jason was 15 when he died. At the same time, Tim was 13. They are two years apart. 

Why? To begin, I’m more comfortable using the number we already have for Tim, 13, than I am dropping him to 12 on the mere possibility that he could have been 12. 

Second, even though The Batman Files (2011) is a terrible source, it does at least sort of indicate that the official DC position is a Jason who was 15 years old at his death. 

Third, visually speaking, Jason looks closer to 15 than 14 at his death. Is that good evidence? No, absolutely not. Comic book art is definitionally variable, but I am going to pull a few panels for you to look over. 

Batman #427 (1988)

Finally, I feel that Jason and Tim are, in later works, treated as if they are different ages. I’m not going to go into much detail on that one because it is purely a personal reaction, but I would refer to Teen Titans #29 (2005) as an example. That issue has Jason and Tim’s first meeting, after Jason comes to the tower specifically to attack Tim. 

Teen Titans #27 (2005)

Another well-known issue to check out is Teen Titans #47 (2007).

My basic position is that there are so many ways, all uncertain, to slice Jason and Tim’s ages that I can take my pick. I chose the ones that most closely mirror later canon, fall most squarely into the possible range, and feel the most intuitively right. 

They also have the benefit of simplicity, which was very much a factor. 

Don’t agree with me? Fair enough. I think I’ve given you enough information to make an educated judgment, and I’ve also gone ahead and made a timeline in the alternative. In this one, Jason was 14 at death, and he and Tim are only one year apart. 

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In the Alternative

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Cass appears

Having progressed beyond Jason and Tim’s age gap, we reenter simple canon. I hope you’re as pleased as I am. 

Cass was 17 years old at her first appearance, which we can establish easily based on two different issues. Cass first appears in Batman #567 (1999), during an arc called No Man’s Land. At the time, she is working for Barbara Gordon in the aftermath of an earthquake that destroyed most of Gotham. We learn Cass’s backstory through that issue. 

Cass’s biological father is David Cain, a villain, who raised Cass in isolation, never exposing her to a verbal language or allowing any kind of socialization. By comic book logic, her upbringing gave her a near-superhuman ability to understand and anticipate physical actions, as those actions are her only form of communication. 

Cain trained her as a child assassin, then took her to her first kill. Cass murdered a man and experienced, through his body language, the pain he felt at his death. Immediately afterward, she ran away from her father.

Batgirl #62 (2005)

We know that Cass was eight years old when she killed and ran. We also know that her first appearance in Gotham was nine years after she ran, thanks to Barbara Gordon’s file. 

Batgirl #1 (2000)

Simple enough. She was 17. How old was everybody else? We find out from Tim’s timeline. 

This next bit will come up a few times. We know that Tim was 15 from at least 1993 to 2003, established by three different issues. We know from Detective Comics #668 (1993) that Tim was 15 during Knightquest, the arc where Jean-Paul Valley was briefly Batman. Barbara tells us in 2002 that Tim is still 15, and Tim turns 16 on-panel in 2003. 

In Knightquest, Tim gets his driver’s license early, at age 15, because Jack Drake is in a wheelchair. I suppose the wording here is ambiguous on a technicality, but I don’t think there’s any significant argument against Tim being 15; if he was only 14, the language would be different.  

Detective Comics #668 (1993)

Next, in Batgirl #24 (2002), Barbara says she’s “sending a 15 year old” as she reaches for Tim’s com line.

Batgirl #24 (2002)

We could stop here for Cassandra’s appearance, since that happened in 1999, between the 1993 issue and the 2002 reference. For completion’s sake, however, let’s note that Robin #116 (2003) is about Tim’s 16th birthday. He forgets about it, so his step-mother throws a surprise party. 

Robin #116 (2003)

Okay, so Tim was 15 when Cass appeared at age 17. That puts Bruce at 39, Dick at 24, and Jason at 17 if you’re counting by years elapsed since his birth. 

Bruce met his daughter when he was 39 and she was 17, in reference to my original question. Cass is 22 years younger than Bruce, seven years younger than Dick, the same age as Jason, and two years older than Tim. 

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Dick is adopted

This one, having already established Tim’s timeline, is very simple. Dick was adopted in Gotham Knights #17 (2001).

Gotham Knights #17 (2001)

Again, Tim was 15 from 1993 to 2003, and 2001 falls within that range. Tim was 15, which makes Dick 24 and Bruce 39. 

At this point in the timeline, Bruce, a 39 year old, has two adopted children, one of whom is deceased as far as Bruce is concerned. His adopted children are (17) and 24. He has already met two of his future children, Cass and Tim. 

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This is PART ONE. I’ll reblog Part Two onto this post when I wake up, which should be around the same time this posts. 

[rogueyami]

Haikyuu!! Fic Recs

I love reading fanfics, and I have so many bookmarked that I want to share. Hope you all enjoy and give these writers all the love. All of these are completed works, and they are a mixture of one shots and multi chaps.

Kagehina

where the night goes by bigspoonnoya (M)

Summary:

When their bond loses the immediate context of volleyball, they're left to consider why it's still so vital and important.

Meeting again, by chance, six years later.

Somewhere to Belong by Esselle (E)

Summary:

Once a year, all the villages that follow the way of the sun offer up one of their own to be taken to the sun god's divine temple. Kageyama Tobio, an orphan and loner, never wanted to be chosen—and until the sun god appeared, no one ever wanted to choose him, either. All Tobio wants is to find a place he fits in. What he actually gets is another story entirely.

by this time next year by reeology (T)

Summary:

"I got offers from two universities," Kageyama announces, pointing at his chest with his thumb. "I'm going to play volleyball at Keio this spring."

"You still have to pass an exam, even if it's an easy one," Takeda-sensei hurries to add, although he is beaming and bursting with pride at his fluffy little crow chick taking off to play volleyball at a university level.

"I'll pass," Kageyama says with the same kind of confidence he uses when he tells Hinata he'll get the toss to him. He looks straight at Hinata, and Hinata jerks and turns red, wondering if maybe Kageyama knew he was daydreaming about something as stupid as the way Kageyama talks to him during a game. But then Kageyama just points at him and says, "You'd better get in, too."

Hinata, stupid, naive, idiot that he is, grins wide and nods and says, "Yeah!"

He doesn't know what he's in for.

Not Alone by seconddaysea (E)

Summary:

"I'll visit you," Hinata says. "So you're not allowed to get lonely, you got it?" He turns so they're facing each other, hands warm against Tobio's back. "I'm already lonely," he replies quietly, and he presses his face against Hinata's heart, squeezing his eyes shut, because if this is a dream he doesn't want to wake up.

maps, from me to you by tothemoon (T)

Summary:

This is a (non-chronological) account of the memories they make out of millimeters.

Iwaoi

we can do better than that by spaceburgers (M)

Summary:

Oikawa and Iwaizumi go on a road trip during the summer after their high school graduation. It doesn't go as expected, but maybe that's not such a bad thing after all. 

we shine like diamonds by whiitemists (T)

Summary:

Oikawa is nine when he first hears the word. The boys on the playground whisper it like it's dirty, like the way they daringly mutter the word fuck and then look over their shoulders to check their parents hadn't heard.

"You know Abe-kun from class?" they snicker, hands cupped around their mouths like they're passing along a filthy secret. "I hear his older brother is... gay."

here comes your man by newamsterdam (T)

Summary:

Iwaizumi’s left his cell phone on the bench, and while Suga keeps his gaze away from Iwaizumi the phone lights up with a new message.

Iwa-chan, it reads, Have a good day today! Good luck! <3 <3 <3

Suga chokes. It’s hard to imagine anyone calling the scowling and fierce Doctor Iwaizumi “Iwa-chan.” But marriage probably comes with all sorts of liberties.

Mrs. Iwaizumi must be quite the doting wife, Suga thinks. Delivering hand-made bentos and sending along loving messages.

No one really knows much about the new surgical resident, Doctor Iwaizumi, other than the fact that he's married. Suga's determined to find out more, and make a friend of him in the process.            

just hear me out by loveclouds (T)     

Summary:

To stimulate Japan's low birthrates and take most of the guesswork out of dating, a beeper system was biologically developed in people's wrists, an audible confirmation to show romantic compatibility.

Iwaizumi's beeper has been going off for Oikawa since they've been kids. Oikawa's has only ever been silent.

 Call Security! by DeathBelle  (T)    

Summary:

Oikawa Tooru is attractive, charming, and irresistible.

He thinks so, anyway, until he meets the mall's new security guard.

In which Oikawa has a crush, Iwaizumi has no interest, and a chain of shoplifting incidents brings them together.

Bokuaka

(Don't) Touch Me by DeathBelle (E)         

Summary:

Akaashi has always had an aversion to human contact, but earlier in his life it had been bearable. It isn't until his last year of high school that it becomes intolerable. By the time he enters college, any skin contact has the potential to send him spiraling into a breathtaking panic attack.

He reconnects with Bokuto in college, and he seems to be the only person with the ability to calm Akaashi down. He finds himself relying on his old captain more and more, especially when Bokuto deems himself Akaashi's own personal guardian. Despite their connection, he can't touch Bokuto, either; no matter how badly he'd like to.    

Upstairs by yoogiboobi (E)    

Summary:

Bokuto first sees his neighbour at the supermarket, three days after he's moved into his new place.

[...] 

For about a second, a heartbeat, he's met with a pair of dark, piercing eyes, with what is probably eyeliner, looking back at him. It really is just a split second before his hand knocks down three cereal boxes that hit him square in the head, effectively making him break eye contact and drop his groceries to the floor.

In which some of the first things Bokuto learns about his upstairs neighbour are the colour of his eyes and the sound of his moans.         

bang! now we're even by Authoress (E)

Summary:

Akaashi only has two rules when it comes to his profession. One, complete the job as swiftly and cleanly as possible. Two, never trust anyone who smells like blood.

Rule three is to shoot Owl Eyes in the face should he ever come across him, but Akaashi never tells anyone about that one.

Crisis Converted  by valiantarmor (E)    

Summary:

Akaashi Keiji is just a normal cop with a penchant for getting himself into trouble, when quite suddenly he finds himself with a big promotion and a brand new partner.

But his habit of finding trouble hasn't gone away -- if anything, it's only gotten worse. 

cracks in the pavement will lead you home by deusreks (M)    

Summary:

Bokuto often thinks about Akaashi, especially when he’s running. It’s like his legs know where they’re supposed to take him. He grows into a habit of running a lot, just to keep that feeling going. Cracks and holes in the pavement aren’t fun to jump over if the final reward isn’t seeing Akaashi’s face.

An alternate universe with a little bit of magic and a lot of growing up.         

Ushiten

died in my dreams by MTrash (Makaria) (T)

Summary:

If anyone asked Ushijima how it came to this, he wouldn’t be able to formulate a proper answer.

Ushijima likes his quiet, his order, and his solitude. That is, until a loud, talkative and a little chaotic cyber tech convinces him that that's just plain boring.

while i nodded, nearly napping (suddenly there came a tapping) by pseudoanalytics (T)     

Summary:

Of course if there was one thing that could be counted on, it was Ushijima’s blunt, total honesty. “Do you think Tendou is attracted to me?”

Reon froze. “T-Tendou?”

“Yes.”

Tendou was notoriously hard to read, but Reon kind of figured that he wasn’t the type to be anything less than painfully overt with romantic affections.

“I... I don’t think you have anything to worry about. I think if Tendou was attracted to you, he would let you know,” Reon said. “I'd guess he just considers you his best friend.” He hoped his answer would satisfy whatever frenzy the guy had worked himself into so Reon could finally take advantage of his last precious hours of sleep.

But instead, Ushijima visibly deflated in front of him. “Yes. That’s what I thought too,” he said miserably.

Oh, Reon realized. Oh no...

Executive Excursion by DeathBelle (E)    

Summary:

Tendou is fun, quirky, and interesting.

Ushijima is none of the above.

It's no surprise that Ushijima is drawn to Tendou's magnetic personality. What's surprising is that Tendou seems to like Ushijima, too.

With a little support from his coworkers, Ushijima decides to take a chance and ask Tendou on a date. The results are better than expected.

fascinating facts about geckos by miracleboysatori (T)        

Summary:     

Ushijima Wakatoshi.

That’s the coach’s name. And he’s the new biology teacher on campus, so not only is he incredibly beautiful, he's also smart as hell.

Tendou can tell he’s completely doomed.

Affection, and other Quantifiable Actions by badbavarois (T)   

Summary:

(He's a monster) Ushijima Wakatoshi isn't a monster.            

Misc/ Other ships

but not for spring to well up by tookumade (T)  OsaSuna 

Summary:

After ending a relationship with a fiancé, Suna returns home and tries to heal from heartbreak. Here, he finds friends in the form of the Miya brothers, and learns patience, forgiveness, and what happiness means to him.           

the more things change by deadseasalt (E)  OiKage   

Summary:

“So let me get this straight. You went to the Meiji-Chuo game and saw your old crush and after watching Meiji bring Chuo to a crushing defeat, you realized you were still crushing on him big time?”

Kageyama wishes he could spit in Tsukishima’s drink. “It’s not a crush.”

Tsukishima laughs. “You poor dumb fuck.”

Third Impression by DeathBelle (E) Kuroo x Semi

Summary:

If Semi has a type, Kuroo isn't it.

After their first meeting, Semi concludes that Kuroo is smug, presumptuous, and a little too flirtatious for his own good. Their second encounter doesn't change his mind, and Semi does his best to avoid a third.

Kuroo has other ideas, and Semi finds himself tricked into an impromptu tutoring session with Kuroo himself.

It doesn't go as badly as Semi expects.

Mannequin Men by surveycorpsjean  (E) BokuAkaKuroTsukki

Summary:

The modeling world is full of hungry wolves, constantly clambering over the other, snarling and desperate. They fight, and they kill, trampling over anything in their path.

In this case, Akaashi fell in love with the wolves.

Efflorescence by h_lovely (E) MatsuHana

Summary:

"Are we flirting?"   "Do you want to be?"

[Efflorescence (n.) a state of blooming, flowering, and development.]

[ectonurites]

do u have any thoughts on the whole “tim is zapped to time prison” storyline? bc i feel like it could have been pretty interesting and a good way to bring back young justice/tim’s memories more immediately if it hadn’t been such a blatant attempt to just get tim out of storylines bc they had no ideas for his character

sorry lol u don’t have to respond i just kind of wish people talked about this storyline more? and the fact that tim lowkey became one of the only people in dc with knowledge of the other timelines (i think so at least) and nobody really addressed it?? like going into the next phase where people learn about other timelines after death metal.... tim should already know some of this stuff right?

YES YES YES OKAY LETS TALK ABOUT THIS this got incredibly long because I just have a lot to say (and i included screenshots) and i prob got a little off topic but. but lets get started anyways:

i haven’t read that particular storyline in a few months so i might be missing/misremembering some details here, but that whole ‘time prison + future tim’ thing was like. a really really interesting concept and the implications/impacts it has are a big part of why i liked tynion’s detective comics run as much as i did even with it’s flaws in characterization (such as treating tim like he was jimmy neutron boy genius and making steph..... be all ready to quit/breakaway from the team like that. the steph quitting characterization really started i think in batgirl convergence and unfortunately has haunted her since, even though pre reboot never giving up was like...... one of her defining traits. dc i hate you sometimes) 

i think that one of the biggest things that bothers me about the situation is how little we saw most of the other characters in the batfamily grieve (aside from steph and some with bruce, but again the way steph was portrayed just... hhhhhh. it very much reduced her to ‘tims girlfriend’ more than i’d have preferred) but otherwise like...as far as I can remember there was maybe one line in that monsters crossover thing where dick mentioned tim was gone, jason had a single line about avoiding the funeral in rhato, i dont think they showed any reaction from babs at all until after he was back, and the most for damian I recall is at the end of the 2014 teen titans run (#24) where he looks at... a case with the old red robin uniform Tim wasn’t even wearing anymore when he died? and that just bugs me. Instead of getting to see the actual funeral we get one flashback to it way after the fact once Bruce already knows Tim’s not actually dead

But at the time when they all DID think he was dead? the closest thing we see was in that same teen titans issue (#24) there’s a memorial-type ‘sharing stories’ thing after the funeral with tim’s titans friends but.... we don’t see something like that with his family. tim is a major presence in these peoples’ lives, they are his family, when he gets sent into time prison its even SAID how loved he apparently is

its just... idk. they all thought he was dead, and if they had put more emphasis on showing not just telling how that effected EVERYONE (not just steph) in the batfam, it might have felt a lot less like they were just putting tim away until there was a story idea for him. (like obviously I know they can’t make everyone’s stories revolve around Tim, but I’d have way preferred a detective comics issue of the funeral/memorial with the family than having there only be a teen titans one, I think it would have... held more relevance & meaning... but instead they just went right into that monster crossover story instead of lingering on this)

but then the Tim story itself once it does pick up way later, with titans tomorrow/future tim coming along having that whole “tell conner you’re sorry” “who’s conner?” exchange with current tim... that opens up A LOT of things to think about, and I think was pretty interestingly done if i’m remembering correctly. future tim recognizes the timelines are different, and ya know goes off to try to change things further ("whaddaya got there?” “a gun to kill batwoman” “NO!!!!”), theres lots of fighting etc etc the good guys win as we expect, but once that’s all settled tim’s left there with this whole. thought process

which ya know is the big indicator there’s weird timeline/reality fuckery going on (or also the read here can be that tim and kon are so connected across all space and time that their bond can transcend anything even timelines and realities and reboots... “and they were soulmates” “oh my god they were soulmates”) 

ANYWAYS lets not forget that tim isnt the only one who learns about this other timeline stuff during this whole situation!

Brother Eye has records of future tim’s timeline, and cass & steph see who they used to be! and as soon as steph finds out ‘holy shit i was ROBIN and BATGIRL?’ she also desperately wants to know more! which then a bit later leads into young justice 2019 where instead of going off to college like they told Bruce they were gonna, Steph and Tim go get the help of Zatanna to see what might be going on in their brains with these timelines and weird feelings (as we see in flashback form in yj 2019 #5)

and HOO BOY DOES SHE FIND THINGS! she gets in there and finds out that oh yeah, their brains had very much so been tampered with, and with her magic she undoes some of it, by unlocking memories, and Tim finally remembers Conner! (also in case u were wondering, that panel is specifically a callback to this one from yj 1998 #17 when Cissie quit the team)

one thing that I think is weird/interesting/idk if it gets... properly addressed even, was that Zatanna also poked around Steph’s brain too and she didn’t remember everything? Might have something to do even with how Tim had been in time prison, might have taken less work from Z to open things up because of that? Who knows

additionally i wanna call attention to how he said “That entire chapter of my life” which... leading into my next point a bit... strongly leads me to believe even though he’s remembering some things he definitely does not have ALL of his memories back (because theres a lot more than just the young justice ‘chapter’ of tim’s life that was drastically changed by the new 52 & rebirth) 

BUT moving on, i wanna bring up this part from later on (after they figured out that there was a crisis that caused things in the world to change, which is why their memories/brains were messed with) in issue #16

so yeah, I think it’s indicated even though Zatanna brought back some memories and opened up his brain a bit, there’s still many holes, and some things seem more like dreams rather than memories and he’s probably unable to tell which are which on his own to some extent. (also for reference the real thing that Tim thought was just a dream is... likely yj 1998 issue #1)

So based on the things i’ve brought up here (which are the things I remember off the top of my head, I could easily be accidentally leaving shit out LMAO i haven’t fully read through any of these books in at least 3 or more months now) I think it’s safe to assume that Tim definitely has a head start on getting back his memories before Death Metal happens, but that it was by no means a complete thing. So the after effects of Death Metal are probably just gonna... be a little less drastic for him vs most other people because it was already happening, but it’ll be kinda filling in the remaining gaps? 

And like you said he is absolutely one of the few people that already knew about about the timelines/the fact that these crises have happened and changed things, but pretty much all the other young justice characters are also aware that there was meddling in the timeline/that multiple timelines and alternate universes like this exist since they were all together as a group when it got explained (in like. yj 2019 #15 i believe is where most of the explaining happens) (and cass as well is aware of things to some extent because of her and steph’s interaction with Brother Eye) but the difference is that Zatanna didn’t go into everyone’s brains, so they aren’t dealing with the same memory things as Tim (and possibly Steph? because again Z DID go in her brain, she just wasn’t able to unlock all the same things as she did with Tim) 

but yeah in general i SO wish this was explored more, both in canon and in fanworks (fanworks tho... that can still happen >:3c). Memories hazily coming in for Tim while Kon and Bart are able to confirm or deny things, him dealing with conflicting memories and feelings about his past as they trickle in... like I think we’ll start to see these types of things moving forward across a lot of titles with Infinite Frontier (i BELIEVE dont quote me on this but I BELIEVE the person writing Damian’s upcoming solo had mentioned in an interview that the memories coming back of the other timeline aren’t going to be an all at once thing but will be more gradual for most characters) but the fact that it theoretically had already been happening for Tim for MONTHS and we only got that one crumb indicating it in #16 of it instead of any actual exploration makes me SAAAAAAD 

[sneezefiction]

making up for lost time

Daichi x fem!Reader - Scenario

@miss-rin​‘s request: “Where Daichi reunites with the reader several years after highschool... She’s messed up from her last relationship, but wants to try again.... With a fluffy ending though, please!!”

a/n: eeee this was really therapeutic to write. i know it’s a little on the longer side of things i usually post, but i wanted to set it up well. enjoy some angst to fluff Daichi content bb <33333

warnings: break ups, cheating, low self esteem, slight language, general angst

wc: 3350

---

It’s strange. Staring at your textbook, your fingers brushing against its textured, thin pages, you hadn’t noticed the tiny droplets forming on the sheets below. Only when you recognized its salty taste did you realize you were the source. You lean back, using the table to tilt your chair onto its back legs, balancing there for a minute to keep your tears from staining anything else on the desk.

With all the mentions of bonds and fusions, somehow chemistry homework has brought you back into the reality of your current life crisis. 

It’s not like you hadn’t expected tears, but did they have to overtake every aspect of your life? 

In public. Walking through the park. At 4 in the morning.

It was cruel, really. 

That even after a year of complete distance, everything insisted on reminding you of him.

---

Your ex was supposed to be a one night stand. A ploy to get over a deeply established crush. You were running from young, uncertain love, pushing it down, and drowning it all in heavy doses of pleasure. But weekend-after-weekend, your interactions with this mystery hookup turned into regular flings.

From there, you allowed something deeper to develop.

You started sharing with him.

Lying on the bed, limbs entangled, panting subsided. You released small thoughts and simple secrets into the dark of the night. Maybe he would capture those words, pondering them, making a space for them in his mind. Maybe he would let them drift by, like white noise and formless background music. 

But it didn’t matter. You spoke anyway.

Nights passed and you would let out more gentle, whispering comments. Insecurities, dreams, stories. 

And at some point, he started responding. Listening. Mulling over your words. Whether you meant for it to happen or not, things grew personal. He became your stand-in security blanket, pulling you in and showing you his own little world. You didn’t care if it was fabricated and make-believe.

Because for the first time, it seemed like someone reciprocated your words and actions. You were no longer relying on past passions and feelings because you were so busy drowning in the touch of a stranger. He gave you endless chances to let go of your greatest love and high school infatuation. And you took each one.

You pushed yourself to like him. You asked him to be exclusive. He agreed.

Because his touches were soothing. The way his arms wrapped around your middle, pulling you into his chest and whispering dirty, sugar-coated words into your ears. It made you feel wanted. Needed. Like maybe this could be the one. Like maybe you didn’t need the brown-eyed boy from so long ago.

Yes, your ex’s hold on you was physically tight…

But his intentions were loose and undefined. Eerily disconnected from the reality you had pictured yourself in.

In the back of your mind, you knew something was off. The puzzle pieces that tied your interactions together were either damaged or missing. Information and stories didn’t match up.

At some point, he started coming home wearing the scent of sex and perfume. Fragrances that didn’t belong to you. All of the staying out late and leaving the bed early... He was clearly cheating on you. 

But ignorance is bliss... and you were swimming in it.

You now realize he only told you what you wanted to hear. Little, white lies iced with sweet, generous promises.

What did you expect? That he actually needed you? Why would this stand-in boyfriend be any different?

Finding him on top of a girl in your bedroom should’ve cut you deeper. It should have left you with your knees collapsed and your fingers painfully digging into the carpet. You could have screamed and cried, kicked something, at least outwardly shown your pain.

Yet all that came over you was a dizzying numbness. So you shut the door, closing yourself off to their shocked expressions. Cutting yourself off from another failed love attempt. A worthless endeavor.

---

You’re still fighting a losing battle against hot, streaming tears in the library.

You wish the tears stemmed from the breakup. It would be a logical justification for your pain. Yes, it would be easier to cry over something present… or at least something sensible.

But fate is fickle and so are your emotions. Fragile and nostalgic.

Because you aren’t choking on sobs in the campus library over that unloyal asshole. 

No, your mind was fully centered on Daichi. The one person who had actually made you feel whole. Who regularly told you how much he wanted you.

You could’ve drowned in his warm, honey-glazed gaze. He drew you in, submerging you in a euphoric, blissfully intoxicated state. 

Memories flittered back to you. How he would always comfort you, using his firm shoulder as a pillow during after school hours to cry or sleep on when life began to smother you.

How he snuck up behind you in the schoolyard, grabbing you by the waist, lighting a fire inside you that filled you with warmth and made your stomach do somersaults. It was playful. Lighthearted. So very Daichi.

And you wanted more. More than platonic. More than best friends.

His touches were nothing like your ex.

It was like gentle floating fireflies, blinking and flickering in a field at dusk. Consistent but surprising. Sensitive, feathery, and comforting. Not at all greedy or dismissive.

You didn’t have to think twice about it. Daichi still remained in the softest parts of you.

But it doesn’t matter anymore. He isn’t coming back to save you. To take you by the hand and rekindle whatever it was you two had shared back then.

Because Daichi wasn’t ready to commit.

He had told you how he felt. How he wanted you so badly that it physically hurt him. That he wanted to be there for you, by your side, hand-in-hand.

But he just wasn’t ready to follow through. Not with graduation and change so near in sight. Not with the possibility of losing you just as soon as you’d become his.

You knew he was right. College shifted you two into completely separate directions. 12 hours to be exact.

You and Daichi were at the right place at the wrong time.

But as you drifted, the words morphed and manipulated themselves in your mind. They echoed a tone that claimed that you were the faulty one. That you weren’t ready. You weren’t lovable enough. He didn’t want to commit to you.

So naturally, you equated it with not being enough for him. That it was some silly, unfounded puppy-love. Just a bunch of hormones and high schoolers.

So you tried to bury your longing for him, making countless mistakes in the process. 

You had changed. This was your life now. Broken, exhausted, and weathered.

In defeat, you close up the heavy, tattered textbook, gently maneuvering it into your backpack and take your leave from the softly lit library. You’ve suffered enough for one day, so you may as well give yourself a break from studying.

As you make your way out the door, you feel an unexpected buzz in your back pocket, your phone lighting up with a notification. You reach a hand back to check it.

3:47 pm - sawamuradaichi38 followed you

You stop abruptly, feet planted in the doorway, eyes processing the words before you.

“Shit.”

Daichi…

High school Daichi.

The “I was just crying over how much I hate missing you 5 minutes ago,” Daichi.

You hadn’t spoken in over a year and suddenly this? 

It was out of the blue, not to mention at one of the most pitiful moments in your life. 

Broken up, red-eyed, and still helplessly in love with his brown-eyes. How could someone so wonderful have such disastrous timing?

You receive a rude awakening, the door to the library smacking you in the face, drawing you out of your thoughts and leaving you rubbing the now red spot on your forehead, the phone still clutched tightly in your palm.

Leaving the doorway, you spot a park bench and take a seat outside, your thumb still hovering over the “follow back” button.

It takes some persuading, but eventually you convince yourself it will be fine. It’s not like you’re selling your soul to him.

It’s just a simple “follow back.”

It also wouldn’t hurt to see what he looked like.

So you click.

And there he is. Several month’s worth of photos, flooding your eyes.

Party streamers, candids, squinted smiles, polaroid photo-shoots, flushed faces from tipsy weekends, throwbacks… and your heart is pounding at the sight of just how mature he looks.

He’s developed a flattering tan over the summer, giving him a golden glow. The deeper tone has either made him look more toned or he’s gained muscle in the past couple of years. Both are very likely.

You proceed your scrolling, subconsciously looking for any signs of being in a relationship, before you’re startled by another ‘ping’ noise.

Damn this stupid app.

To hell with media.

Why did he feel the need to message you? Is he messing with you, right now? 

But the questions don’t keep you from opening the text.

Nerves settle in.

3:55 pm - Daichi: Y/n!

3:55 pm - Daichi: I’m in town for a while and I really want to see your face.

3:56 pm - Daichi: Only if you want to though… I know it’s been a long time.

How is it possible that your hands are already shaking? It’s just Daichi.

Just Daichi.

What the actual hell, Daichi.

3:58 pm - Y/n: Heya! I’d love to, but I have so many questions???

You have more than just questions.

4:00 pm - Daichi: I’ve got answers. So is that a yes? Bc if it’s a no, that’d be super awkward…

4:00 pm - Daichi: ...given that I’m 5 minutes from your university right now. Could I pick you up?

WHAT IN THE ACTUAL HELL, DAICHI.

4:01 pm - y/n: Well damn, ok. Looks like I don’t have any excuses. Come n get me :)

You do your best to sound smooth, sending him the corner to pick you up on, but you still looked and felt like a total wreck. Your makeup was messy, mascara staining the underneath of your eyes. Luckily, you had baby wipes and could clean up a little, but you were still left with a slightly puffy, red-tinted face.

The blush that appeared after receiving his text messages didn’t help either.

If you were being honest, you felt completely hysterical. You had finally given up all hope, tossing your dreams of being with him out the window. 

And here he was, casually asking you to hangout as if you two hadn’t ever lost contact. As if you hadn’t been bawling your eyes out over him for the past several months. Real cute, y/n, you laugh, thinking to yourself. 

You do your best to fix your face up with your phone camera and a little extra concealer, but if Daichi is anything like he was in high school, he’ll see through it almost instantly.

You spot his car, pulling up into a spot on the side of the road. He’s scanning for you.

Your breath hitches at the sight of him, heart skipping a beat.

He’s even prettier in person. Photos couldn’t capture something that strong and handsome. His features were still kind, but his expression showed how much he’d grown. The turn of his head, showcasing his jawline. Sharper, older. Your heart is pounding and you feel the anxiety settle in.

But as soon as he captures your eyes, you both grow soft.

You could tell from the way he was looking at you, he’d been longing for you too.

He hops out of his car, focused solely on you, and starts walking. Your pace matches his but it quickly increases. The hunger you’d felt for his embrace drives you both to move faster. He felt it too. It was magnetic. Almost like you’d been waiting your whole life for this reunion.

You practically throw yourself into his firm chest, his sturdy arms circling around your torso, the rate of your collision shaking his balance. But he managed, steadying himself one footstep at a time. One of his hands makes its way up to your neck and tangles itself into your hair, grasping locks and running his fingers through it. It was as though your bodies were making up for the lack of touch and all of your unspoken words, closing any spaces between you and affirming the reality of each other’s presence. 

You notice him tucking your head into his chest... just how he used to.

It’s as though nothing had changed. Like you had both been talking and touching and breathing the same air for the past year when in truth, your relationship had mimicked radio silence.

It stays silent, your bodies choosing to take one another in. He smelled of coffee and cedar, with a dash of maple. He’d always carried a sweeter scent. It never failed to make you melt into him.

Daichi’s face is buried within your hair and he can’t help but breathe in the familiar fragrance of your conditioner. A huge swell of nostalgia passes over him like a crashing wave, causing him to pull you even closer.

The very feelings you had been protecting yourself from were overloading your senses.

So you break off the hug, opting to grasp his hands instead.

His gaze is so understanding. So full of raw emotion. It’s apologetic.

“Daichi I-”

“I’m so sorry, y/n.”

There’s a pause. You give him a wobbly smile, nodding gently to let him speak first.

He opens his mouth to speak, but he’s silenced as raindrop lands directly on your nose. You giggle, wiping it off with your hand, then placing said hand back into his.

“How ‘bout we go sit in the car?” He suggests as the rain begins to drizzle.

You follow him wordlessly, taking him by the arm, quickly crossing the road.

You’re snug in his passenger seat, one foot tucked under your other leg, torso facing him directly. Daichi takes a moment to look you over. You flush under his intent gaze. That’s when he notices your reddened eyes. 

“You’ve been crying.” He states directly, hand making it’s way to your chin, lifting it while examining your face.

“A-ah yeah. You’re as observant as ever, Daichi, I’ll give you that.” You smile slightly.

“Why? What… or who did that to you?” He asks, concern lacing his voice.

You look away, head tilting out toward the grey-lit street.

Should you be honest?

That he was the reason for your tears?

You want to trust him.

To believe his words at face value.

You wanted to bare your soul, letting him absorb every moment of the last year of your life. To cry out to him and explain that you wanted him so deeply that you betrayed your own feelings for him.

But look where it got you last time.

Your ex took the most precious pieces of you and stomped all over it. He had used you. Your stories. Your secrets.

You were different from the girl that Daichi used to know.

He couldn’t love that, he couldn’t possibly-

“Y/n, I mean it. You can tell me anything. I promise I’ll just listen.”

And with that, you muster up your last ounce of courage, putting full trust in him.

It comes out in a soft mumble.

“...I still love you, Daichi.”

His eyes widen, lips parting.

“I-” You begin to choke on your own words. 

The emotion of everything, from your breakup to seeing your ex with another girl, to the sad eyes in front of you. It all begins to spill out. It’s not a sob. More like a release.

“I tried to like someone else. I tried so, so hard, Daichi.” Tears drip down your face, catching on the hand still holding your cheek.

You do your best to speak slowly and coherently, but you can’t seem to prevent the stutters that emerge from embarrassment and months of pent-up shame.

“It didn’t work. I- he didn’t love me.” You pause, considering if you should share the next details.

You inhale deeply, remembering his words.

I can tell him anything.

“There were other girls and-” 

Daichi’s eyes darken, realizing what you meant.

“He- he didn’t,” hiccups break up the sentences you’re already struggling to form, “I just wasn’t good enough, Daichi.” You meet his eyes, “Not for you. Not even for him.”

He rubs a thumb over your face, somber and troubled.

A wave of guilt washing over his face, his own eyes tearing up at the sight of you.

Daichi wasn’t there for you. He knows it.

He had left you high and dry, letting himself get washed up within his own pain, not considering how badly it would affect you. You both cut off communication to make things easier, assuming it would help you both to move on, but it had only made things worse.

Now he’s watching it all unfurl…

You’ve been mistreated and he wasn’t there to protect you. To save you. To hold you tightly within his arms.

But he wants to help pick up the pieces.

He wants to dry those tears, one by one.

He’s ready to make up for the lost time.

It’s time to prove that he’s ready for you now if you’ll have him.

So Daichi removes his hand from your face and grabs your hand, staring at it for a moment. He brushes his calloused fingers over your knuckles.

“Y/n, I never stopped loving you.” He half whispers.

He’s tracing the lines and divots in your palm now, but his eyes are on yours now.

“I couldn’t handle not seeing you… 12 hours is a lot.” He acknowledges.

“But it should never have stopped me from being with you. That was my mistake. It had nothing to do with you not being good enough.”

“Y/n, please, God please, promise me you’ll never say that again.” He begs.

Ah, that.

You couldn’t remember if that had slipped out, but it, in fact, had.

This lie you’ve been telling yourself seems a real as the gentle drumming of raindrops on the roof of the car. Your ex had affirmed it. The breakup sealed it.

And now you’re being told to let it go? To just believe you’re enough? Worthy of love?

If only it were that easy.

“I know you don’t believe me right now… you have every right not to. But I want you to learn to trust me again.”

He continues, “You can tell me anything. I promise I won’t leave you.”

Heavy.

The words were so heavy on your heart.

“...Okay.” Your voice cracks, another few tears slipping out.

“I- I’ll try.” You look away, pain creasing your brows.

He drops your hand on your lap and reaches toward your face, cupping it.

“I mean it, y/n. I won’t leave you.” His tone is scarily serious.

His lips brush against yours, asking permission. You lean forward, gently pressing your lips into his.

It takes a moment to adjust, but you meld together smoothly. It was always supposed to be this way. His warmth is sobering.

It’s tear-soaked and somber, but oh so real.

Noses brush. He runs a hand through your hair, tucking loose strands behind your ear, running a thumb down your neck. You tilt your head, deepening the kiss while leaning into his hand. Lips parted, rhythm slow and comforting.

No part of it is rushed. This moment wasn’t for anyone except for you.

Kiss after kiss, you’re being seen. Listened to. Re-opened.

And it may take tens of thousands of kisses. You’ll probably cry into his chest more times than you can count. You’ll have to fight like hell to escape the lie of “never being good enough.”

But Daichi will be there. Because he came back to you. 

And he’ll keep coming back until he doesn’t have to anymore... because by then, he’ll hope to have you by his side forever.

---

tags: @cherryonigiri, @yams046, @kaidasen, @starfissure

[electronicdelusionstarlight]

Ok, here's how I'd set up an actual BNHA Elder Scrolls crossover in case I ever get around to write it:

1) While he's, like, 4 years old in his living room watching TV, Izuku's Quirk activates. It will not get an actual official name but we can call it Planeswalker Spark ala MTG. Basically kid can tear a hole through reality and launch himself into a different plane of existence, which is what Izuku accidentally does here.

2) It's a slow process tho, which gives Inko plenty of time to rush in from where she was to tackle her son away from the sudden green glow brightly shining around him, a impulse decision based on her Instinct to protect him at all costs, which only ends up with both of them getting sent to Skyrim.

3) Izuku incidentally also happens to be a Shezzarine. His quirk is a mutation from her mom's side, whose Quirks usually affect space in some way, and is completely unrelated to this. Anyway, he and Inko are on the cart to Helgen now, usual shit, The plot of Modded Skyrim takes places, with Inko taking on the brunt of the adventure and trying to shelter Dragonborn Izuku from his destiny.

4) After many trials and tribulations, 2 DLCs, 4 guilds, 1 Dragon War, several adopted orphans as well as so many quest mods it's unreal, Lucien Flavius and several members of the College of Winterhold manages to reverse engineer Izuku's quirk, and gives him an enchanted ring to better control it. Kid can now safely use it without risking ending up somewhere completely different from his planned location. Izuku is now 14 years old. He also had to do terrible things no matter how much his mother tried to shelter him and take the brunt of the war crimes. This leads to PTSD obviously, but also to a now blue and orange morality system, chief among them his general disregard with killing or not killing someone.

5) Getting back to 10 years prior, Izuku's Quirk causes a ripple in the Tachion Field surrounding earth, which is felt on I-Island. David Shield spends the remaining 10 years monitoring and trying to better understand the phenomena, since it could be revolutionary in the till then hypothetical field of time and space travel. When Izuku activates his quirk back 10 years later, I-Island has by then built a teleportation device, hijacking Izuku's trip and sending him to I-Island.

6) Meanwhile on a familiar junkyard, Hatsume Mei's scrappy device built via salvaged parts, spit and lots of duct tape comes to life on her back, individuating a sudden tear in the now constantly decaying Tachion Field. It's happening in the middle of the ocean tho, so she can't really deal with it now.

7) Anyway, David Shield needs Izuku at hand for his Quirk, but Izuku and his mom came back to Japan trying to live a double life since by then most of their friends and family are in Tamriel. Except, both of them have been declared dead for years, and Hisashi, the bitch, ran away with the insurance money, so they don't have a life to return to. David Shield can't let them get back to Tamriel tho, again, he needs Izuku on planet for his new research, bit also realizes that if he actually wants to leave he can't really stop him, except Izuku, you know, still wants to become a hero, just like his mom is in Skyrim. So they reach a compromise, he will try to get into UA, and will take a new identity as Mikumo Akatani, usual excuses to have Izuku get into 1-A you know?

8) Izuku can't really make his Quirk public tho. So, after forging his and his mother identities as a foreign dignitary from the states and her son, and his Quirk is listed as "Cataclysm" (The last perk in the destruction skill tree for a Fire (and Earth) mage in the Ordinator Mod). He is after all a member of the college of Winterhold, trained under the Great and Powerful Destruction Magician Uncle J'Zargo the Magnificent himself, of course he knows plenty of spells. However, he can't really explain all of them as one Quirk, or better yet, he can, it would just get really complicated, so he just goes "My mom can move things with her mind, my... Father, ugh, can blow fire from his mouth, obviously my Quirk is being able to control flames with my mind, usually from my hands but some times also via vocalisation."

9) Which means Izuku has to really contain what shit he can do. It's a very superman like situation, since he needs to remain in control at all times and also not slip up and pull spells he couldn't explain as his "fire" quirk, least people start asking questions. Some people however notice.

10) Tsuyu and Todoroki start an unofficial conspiracy theorist fan club over it.

Tsuyu was there with him at the USJ, where in his sudden hyperfocused competence over the crisis situation made her realize A) This is not the first time this boy has almost died in his life and B) Back in the water at the USJ, she could swear she saw his hands shining as some strange light washed over him, and she could swear he could swim as fast as her back then, and for such long periods of time she could swear he could breath underwater. That makes it really suspicious.

Todoroki sees another kid with a powerful fire quirk but also the signs of a hard life and who seems to not like his father, and instantly goes "Oh... same hat." So his conspiracy is that Izuku is actually Endeavour Bastard Son he had after a premarital affair during a visit to the states 14 years prior, and he has a corkboard to prove it. He also realizes that he's trying to contain his power just like he is, which makes him believe he too must have done a pledge just like him.

11) Shinso beats Bakugou on the first match of the tournament. Doesn't really matter to the overall crossover I just wanted to point this out.

12) Anyway, this explodes during the Sports Festival. It's Todoroki Vs Midoriya, and 1) everyone is comparing the two due to similar Quirks, which Izuku finds really unfair to both of them, 2) Todoroki is being a stubborn ass with his quirk and 3) Izuku can't really talk now l, can't he? That would make him an hypocrite, and he might be a Mage, an Honorary member of the Explorer Guild, a Dragonborn and also a Bard College Student for some reason, but he's not a hypocrite, so he just up and SNAPS because hey, maybe Todoroki will actually unleash his full potential if someone else does it first too.

13) So, Izuku Midoriya, on national television, starts blasting. Armour Spells, Ice Spells, Lightning Spells, Mind Spells, Water, Wind, Air, Poison, turns himself invisible, summons a Dremora Champion, shouts with the power of the souls of the Dragons his mother slew, Todoroki actually has to start using his fire but is mostly out of sheer survival now ("There is always a bigger fish out there, and one day you deciding not to use your full power just because of a stupid pledge will get someone killed. Trust me, I know. You better start realizing that now Todoroki"), and is still a close match because Izukus spells all start from his hands or mouth after all, and Todoroki has now something to prove more than ever.

14) Without his robes on tho, Izuku Magicka is depleted in the end, ending up in a tie as the two collapse from exhaustion. Rather than an arm wrestling match this time, Izuku is disqualified due to the sudden mutation of his Quirk. He's fine with it and probably expected it, bit this still bums Todoroki out, as well as all of his classmates and friends.

15) After the Festival there are 4 leading theories on Izuku now:

A) All Might, discovering via Tsukuachi that Izuku's identity is fake, as well that he looks a bit like a missing case kid from 10 years ago, AND knowing that AFO is back due to the USJ... Believes Izuku is a mole, and is working, willingly or unwillingly, for AFO after he was implanted with all those Quirks. He is now incredibly suspicious of him, and it kind of shows. Nighteye is on the same page despite not having talked to the man in years, and is subtly trying to have Mirio scout out the kid to see if he's a threat. Mirio is too much of a Golden Retriever to even realize what has been asked of him tho, and just think Nighteye wants him to befriend another kid with a promising Quirk.

B) Todoroki now knows the truth. Izuku is Monoma's long lost twin brother. His Quirk allows him to copy the Quirks of those around him (Iron Skin and Stone Skin would be Tetsu Tetsu and Kirishima Quirks after all, Invisibility is Hakagure, Fire and Ice are either his or Bakugou's, Lightning is Kirishima, and Tsuyu mentioned how he could swim and breath underwater while near her, meaning he was using her Quirk). He has connected the dots.

C) AFO still remembers his brother's lover, the stories she came up with, the long periods of times she was gone, only to return with a haunted look in her eyes... The powers she hid from him, thinking he wouldn't notice, the way she fled right after his brother lay lifeless on the ground, almost disappearing into thin air with his broken body... The family his brother hid so well from him, as if they were in another world all together... They never told him, but he knew, he knew she had some sort of Quirk, one that had been then inherited by this new Mikumo Akatani, so similar to HIM yet so different, back from the other world in revenge for his ancestor.

He has to capture that kid. He's family after all, and his quirk belongs to him, it's his by right as his brother's keeper. And with it, he will be able to extend his reach to worlds beyond his own.

D) the official version, the one David Shield puts out, is that Izuku's Quirk evolved unexpectedly due to the new environment he was in, mentioning it as a precursor of Quirk Singularity.

E) The only one who actually got it is Hatsume. She can tell Izuku is the source of the Tachion Spikes and subsequent decays as he "returns home" in Skyrim when leaving school, so she perfectly understands that he's a powerful warlock from across dimension who had come here with the power of science and unholy magic to infiltrate society posing as a hero. Obviously, she's going to help him do it becoming his evil vizier and grand artificer of course. Worst case scenario, she can now market the shit out of him as a hero using her babies, best one, he succeeds and she gets to rule Australia out of their "Deal." I say "Deal" because Izuku isn't even sure he got half of what she was saying, but she seems nice and if Skyrim taught him anything is that you should treasure everyone willing to be your friend, so they hang out together, scheming and plotting without even realising it.

Tsuyu however pretty much got the gist of what Hatsume was saying (it was a crowded lunch break after all) and while she does know Izuku doesn't seem the type of the interdimensional conqueror, she still decides to call dibs on North America in exchange of becoming his Grand Admiral.

And Who knows, maybe he'll end up starting an actual line of Dragonborn Emperors there too.

Anyway that's the rough draft.

[fukurodaze]

haikyuu!! third gym squad taking the ib diploma programme

ok... my friend and i got rlly stressed the other day and made headcanons for these guys if they were to take classes in the ib... it’s like a levels but like... a bit more death!

for my ib diploma folks you can just hop on over and read what i’ve hc’d but for my non-ib folks, lemme give you a bit of an introduction to the ib diploma programme.

characters included: bokuto koutarou, kuroo tetsurou, akaashi keiji, tsukishima kei, haiba lev, hinata shouyou

THE IB DIPLOMA PROGRAMME is a rigorous two-year pre-college program in your last two years of high school. a full programme consists of one class from each of the six required groups (totalling to 6 classes), which are G1 - first language; G2 - second language; G3 - social sciences; G4 - natural sciences; G5 - mathematics; and G6 - arts (though, arts is optional, and can be switched out with another subject from G3 or G4).

within these six courses, students are required to take at least three high-level (HL) courses and three standard level courses (SL), but some students may take four HL courses and have two SL courses (kind of a rough one tho). 

just to note: there’s two types of math courses - applications and interpretations (Math AI) and analysis and approaches (Math AA). MAA courses are known to be harder than MAI courses because students do more theory work and have non-calculator sections in exams, unlike MAI courses where calculators are required for every exam. also, it is possible for a person to take IB courses instead of the full diploma programme, but i’m not very well acquainted with that variation of the IB programme so we’re just going to assume all the boys got 6 courses.

okay. i am so sorry i just lectured you on a whole school curriculum. anyways. back to haikyuu!!

BOKUTO KOUTAROU : Japanese Language and Literature HL, Mandarin Ab Initio SL, Geography HL, SEHS (Sports, Exercise, and Health Science) HL, Math AI SL, Economics SL

ok so it’s canon that this dude is not doing very well in math but his parents made him do higher level math at first poor boy >:(

he started the year off in higher level and thought he was gonna be fine

no. he was not fine.

so he ended up switching his math hl to sl and his japanese sl to hl

IT IS CANON (special chapter in volume 19 titled “i just forgot” where bokuto has a wholeass crisis about words) that bokuto’s really one to actually really like to think about how words work and function as systems in the same way ib language courses do!!

actually having him do japanese ll hl is just an excuse for me to keep him in math sl sorry

i mean koutarou may be my fav tax evader but he really did sit through two years worth of econ classes... smh

mans is Not listening and has to rely on yukie for notes but he just memorises case studies for exams and does not do anything else

i feel like he just takes mandarin because he thought it was the easiest one... he also thinks the words sound similar so it’s easy to memorise

he’s a pretty good communicator so he practices his mandarin quite a lot. as in, he’s made friends to talk to in mandarin. we love to see it!!!

also. um. i hc that he’s pretty decent at memorisation so geography!! this goes for memorising all the kanji and mandarin characters too

i think SEHS is pretty self-explanatory. mans already known he wanna be a pro athlete might as learn about being healthy as an athlete

KUROO TESTUROU : Japanese Language and Literature SL, English B SL, Business Management HL, Chemistry HL, Math AI HL, Biology HL

now... we all know this mf been taking chemistry hl. it is CANON

and as per his career path... DEFINITELY business management hl

i feel like he’s so analytical in the way he sees things that he likes to explore many areas of knowledge where there are different ways of thinking

takes english as a second language because... whew.. aint it sexy when mans wanna be multifaceted in business

also takes higher level biology because he’d rather not with the languages... but later on i believe he ends up in a higher level language class because he might as well

i feel like kuroo’s classes just give me a vibe i know too too well... 

mans takes math ai. he does not wanna fuck around with a pencil proving a theorem he just wants the answer bro

like in volleyball, he’s a quick thinker. so he’s pretty g with math and business stuff

i literally know someone with this class combo ... it’s not very chill but it screams “you never see me do any course work but i always get at least a B+ in every subject”

AKAASHI KEIJI :  Japanese Language and Literature HL, French Ab Initio SL, Psychology HL, Chemistry SL, Math AA SL, Visual Arts HL

now... this subject combo radiates such pretty energy

pretty subjects for a pretty boy

he was originally going to do biology sl but then found out there is chemistry in biology so he just decided with chemistry. plain and simple.

we all know akaashi is both emotionally and academically intelligent

he’s logical and analytical, and when faced with a tough time he works through it well albeit going through a little bit of struggle

this automatically puts him in math aa... i just see him actually liking proving theorems??? 

but maybe he just thinks his calculator is a nuisance sometimes and would rather solve everything by hand 

also art boy! this dude likes graphic design more but when it comes to traditional art he does Not Hold Back

i like to think that he’s into painting backgrounds and mixed media

if he didn’t take VA, i’m pretty sure he would take economics. because. it’s quite systematic and i think akaashi would take a liking to it

as for japanese ll hl... we all know this dude was supposed to be a part of the literary section in a magazine/manga company but was moved to editor

goes hand-in-hand with psychology, likes to know how words convey meaning and how they affect people

he also thinks french is kind of a cool language. i feel like this guy just wants to do it because it sounds cool and novel for him

all in all, pretty solid subject combo!

TSUKISHIMA KEI : Japanese Language and Literature HL, French Ab Initio SL, History HL, Biology SL, Math AA HL, Instrumental Music HL

4 hl’s... here we are folks

honestly does it for colleges to go like “holy shit this dude is kinda crazy”

but does suffer... coursework tings :)

first of all this dude takes french (even though it’s a beginner’s class) because he just loves to sound cool huh

the summer before his courses started he would have had the basics down after looking through free ib textbooks

plus, being the guy that’s super good at a new language in the class is a huge ass flex and a big ass ego boost. and anyways, with language, he thinks it’s just a lot of simple patterns working together.

this also applies to japanese ll hl... finds writing essays and making arguments ez (at least that’s what he tells himself - he’s kinda nervous when it comes to japanese but he holds on anyway)

practices extra hard on pronunciation. sounds hot tho

math aa hl??? there we go. another crazy one. thought he could ace the class at first.... no. no he couldn’t 

thinks about moving down to sl. probably does. (at least it’s not math ai)

history and biology go hand in hand for him. he has significant interests in prehistoric times, and likes to learn about the origins of life - that’s a given

but he does get tired of the politics talk in history like... goddamn all these people making so many mistakes? just stop making them smh

and instrumental music was just something he got onto because he really would like to just have a course where he could enjoy himself while also learning about the stuff he likes

nobody knows what music he listens to... but i think he’s willing to listen to anything as long as it’s music and it has the kinds of vibes he digs

HAIBA LEV: Japanese Language and Literature SL, Mandarin Ab Initio SL, Psychology HL, Chemistry SL, Math AI HL, Theatre HL

i don’t know how to explain it but lev has such strong psych and chem energy

yes haiba lev’s classes are the ones i picked via roulette wheel

jk not really

here’s the thing though, lev takes psychology because he thinks econ, business management, history, ess, all that jazz is just... absolutely boring. like. super. mf-ing. boring.

so he’s like ooh cognitive processes!

kinda hates that he has to study research methods and research methods ONLY at first but when he gets the hang of it he really finds it one of his fav subs

i actually have no explanation for mandarin ab initio sl... he just seemed like the kind of guy who would wanna do the class solely because he thinks mandarin sounds cool with their intonations and everything

plus he heard that the teacher gives mooncakes every lunar new year ad he. loves. them.

okay now hear me out.

lev is good at math.

maybe not lightning speed analysis or calculations like akaashi, but he finds solving problems fun! except for when they’re without a calculator bc he HATES doing calculations by hand

he can get a bit clumsy with his hand calculations too so it’s nice to just have a calculator on hand

literally only does math ai for the sake of using a calculator at all times (a/n: i take this class, and this was the reason i took it too. COMPLETELY VALID)

and then does theatre for the fun of it!!! confidence levels high for presentations and performances... good fit

kinda thought that ib theatre would be his easy A but oh how he was wrong... hates the research tasks at first but he gets used to it

HINATA SHOUYOU: Japanese Language and Literature SL, Portuguese Ab Initio SL, SEHS HL, Geography HL, Math AI SL, Theatre HL

his classes are bokuto energy but with theatre and portuguese

MANGA SPOILERS! we all know he started thinking abt going to brazil in his second year of high school, and the ib diploma programme starts in the last two years of high school so it fits PERFECTLY

lowkey most of the boys take japanese ll sl because they just. have to.

this is also hinata’s case <3

SEHS HL!!! he has a vision for the future and it definitely involves him understanding health and sports and everything like that, especially after nationals in his first year :(((( still sad abt that

but he’s motivated for this higher level class because he’s really just gonna go all out with the research

math ai sl because... he prolly don’t give a fuck about numbers!!! (it hasn’t been made clear already, but math ai sl is the lowest level math course)

he also took theatre hl because even though he does get scared at first, he’s a natural when it comes to learning new cultures

he’s just so curious about it all and it makes him quite engaged in the class as well!!!!

also kinda took theatre because the other subjects were just not it for him

about geography... he hates memorisation but he also hates everything else in the social studies group so

he just gets by by trying to find the little details of the things he’s studying interesting because really... geography class is just the base of all the places on his bucket list

hinata’s def one of those dudes who picks his subs purely off of liking because we all know he’s going. any subject that isn’t based off of liking is usually a mandatory subject anyways