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arjaandsimoni · 6 months

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Revenge of the Rakshasa Prince

Actually very recently…

Isolde’s Toy Kingdom, Arcadia

Isolde was in another sulk. Something was keeping her bestie hidden from her, no matter what she tried she couldn’t figure out where that little runaway had gotten to.

“Grrr… I don’t wanna get a new bestie, I’d just finished breaking that one in…” she grumbled, snatching up the juice box her doll brought her and sucking it down angrily. It was made of hedge fruits and the dreams of children on Christmas eve of what the morrow would bring, though it really just tasted like fruit punch.

She looked up as she felt something… off. Someone was in her castle, someone uninvited.

Suddenly, the doors to her throne room were kicked open and the thing Isolde loathed most walked in: a grown up!

She sat up in her chair and gritted her teeth, recognizing them immediately. The hair, the outfit, all of it. “YOU! HOW DARE YOU INVADE MY LANDS! TOYS! KILL TH…” she began, then paused and looked closer, squinting at the newcomer, “Wait… no… its…” she sat back, looking genuinely shocked now. “YOU?!”

“Aye, ‘s right.” grinned the newcomer. “How’ve ye been cous?” she asked.

Isolde frowned, “I’m quite well, no thanks to YOU! Where have you been all these centuries?! Do you have any idea the trouble you caused for us?!” she demanded.

The newcomer sighed, “Aye aye… look, ah didn’t tell ‘em ta make th’ bloody thing. Feck I tried ta talk ‘em outta it! Moot point anyways, its all busted now.”

Isolde sniffed, sitting cross legged in her throne, her arms folded over her chest, “… and? Why should I care what happened to that stupid, ugly thing anyways?”

“Because that’s what th’ decision was aye? ‘No contact with th’ traitor clan will be permitted as long as th’ blade endures.’ No blade, no ban.” she replied, “Now stop bein’ a wee brat Isolde. We’re needed, got shite ta be doin’.”

Isolde let out a ‘hmph’ and turned her head away with her eyes closed, “Not. My. Problem! The Tuatha de Dannan were disbanded ages ago. What do I care about the pacts and decisions they made?”

The newcomer glanced at the TV one of her dolls was holding, then reached over and turned it on, flipping through channels (which actually showed different parts of the mundane world) until she found the right one, then pointed to it.

“That’s why.” she said pointedly.

Isolde stared at the screen, seeing what was happening. “… and?” she asked, “So some chunk of India will be under attack by a monster. What concern is this of mine? We don’t bother with India.”

“Because, ye wee brat, if ‘e gets back inta power, ‘e won’t stop at just India. Those buggers are ravenous as locusts. They’ll tear up th’ land until there’s nothin’ left, ‘n then they’ll spread out from there. Eventually, they’ll even reach th’ west. If th’ King reclaims ‘is power, there’ll be nobody left fer ye ta play with… do ye want that again?” she asked, “Well, Izzy?”

Isolde shuddered, her eyes suddenly going wide as she gripped her head. Those memories were long buried, but of course this one would know all about gathering intelligence on a target. “STOP! STOP STOP STOP! LEAVE THAT ALONE! THOSE ARE PRIVATE!” she shouted.

“Well?” asked the newcomer, tapping her foot on the floor.

Isolde sighed, “FINE! I’ll… I’ll help… but it’ll take four of us!” she warned, “One for each!”

“Ye just leave that ta me.” she smirked, turning to go, “Just be ready when I call ye.”

A few days later, a movie theater in downtown London.

Claire grinned, chewing away on her popcorn as the crowd around her shrieked and shivered. On the screen a young girl played with a stuffed bear she called Chauncey, but the game they were playing was decidedly sinister in nature… downright disturbing really. She was dressed seemingly normal, in a black teeshirt, leather jacket, jeans, and biker boots with a sturdy choker around her neck.

She paused to breathe in deep, then smirked. Mortals who wanted to be scared, who sought out things that frightened them. What a wonderful discovery.

She looked up as someone sat down in the seat next to her, then whispered, “Enjoyin’ yerself?”

Claire cocked her head at her, then whispered back, “Do I know you?”

The newcomer grinned, “Aye, ye do… think hard now…” she nodded.

Claire focused, then raised her eyebrows, “Oh… you. It has been quite a while, hasn’t it?”

The newcomer nodded, “Aye… er… sorry ‘bout th’ lads chuckin’ ye in Inishmore… no hard feelin’s?” she asked.

The Dullahan sighed, “Pointless. Inishmore is destroyed. I try not to think too much about the past.” she replied.

“Aye, well how ‘bout th’ future then? Th’ near future.” she nodded, pulling out a smartphone and opening a still image. It was a bit odd, it showed a shipping dock on an island in what looked like India… but there was a sort of image superimposed over it, showing a giant standing in the bay, but not entirely real… or perhaps not real yet.

The Dullahan looked at it, then at her, then back at it, then sighed, “And you want to do… what… that rite?” she asked.

“Aye, caught on quick did ye?” she grinned.

Claire shrugged, “It wasn’t hard, that thing is gigantic, we’d have to be just as big to fight it… that’s the only way I know of.”

“Aye, well, ye in or out?” she asked.

Claire nodded, “I’m in, it’ll make for an interesting day at least.”

“Good, just be ready when I call ye.” she nodded, then added, “Er… why th’ popcorn though? Ye dunnae need ta eat.” she pointed out. Dullahan were about as close to undead as some fae got. They subsisted on glamour alone normally.

“I find the texture pleasing…” replied Claire.

The newcomer shrugged, then got up and walked out of the theater as the Dullahan grinned at a particularly well timed jumpscare startling the audience, soaking up their fear as it did.

The next day, Champs de Nedge, Arcadia

Two guards stood outside of Lady Sera’s castle, as they always did.

“Bit nipply today eh?” asked the one on the left.

The one on the right sighed, “Congratulations Timothy, this makes the five hundredth time you’ve asked me that joke.”

“Cor… really? Do I win a prize?” asked the first guard.

“Aye, and here it is!” replied the second, smacking him on the head with his lance!

“OW! What kinda prize is that?” he asked.

“Booby prize, now shut yer gob. Someone’s coming.”

Through the snow what appeared to be a young woman trudged, heading towards the gates. As she drew close the guards slammed their lances together infront of her, making an X before the door.

“WHO GOES THERE!” demanded the guard on the right.

“Out with it lady! We ain’t got all day!” said the one on the left.

The newcomer looked between them, then said, “Lads, ye sure ye wanna pull that stunt… with me?” she grinned.

The two squinted at her, then immediately withdrew their lances and bowed low. “OH! B-beggin’ yer pardon yer ladyship!” sputtered the guard on the left.

“Aye! Deepest apologies! Didn’t recognize you under who you’re wearing! She’s right straight ahead in the throne room!” added the one on the right.

The newcomer laughed, “Good lads, you’ll go far here. Now just stay put and make sure nobody steals the gate, aye?” she smirked, walking inside and through the castle.

Eventually she stood before Lady Sera, the Queen of the Icebound Heart sitting regal on her throne.

“Ah, its you. I was wondering when you’d arrive.” nodded the winter fae.

“Aye, so… dunno if ye know whats goin’ on but…” began the newcomer, but Lady Sera held up a hand.

“Yes, my children have become involved. I will join your efforts.” she replied.

The newcomer hesitated. “… just like that? Dun even need ta explain it?” she asked, sounding suspicious.

Lady Sera breathed in, “… my daughter has told me that protecting one’s children from those who would threaten them is part of being a mother. I can hardly ignore a threat of this scale, now can I?” she asked.

The newcomer shrugged, “Aye, suppose ye cannae. Very well, th’ other two are all set. Just come when I call ye ‘n we’ll sort ‘im out right proper.” she nodded, turning on her heel and leaving.

“Wait… if I may ask… why only come to us now Morrigan?” she asked.

The newcomer stopped, glancing behind her, “ ‘cause I buggered up, ‘n this is how I fix it.” she nodded.

Sri Jayewardenepura Kotte, Sri Lanka

Indrajit laughed in triumph, looking out at the giant rakshasa standing in the bay. “TREMBLE AND WEEP SCION OF HANUMAN!” laughed Indrajit, “FOR KING RAVANA ONCE MORE WALKS THE LAND!”

Arja grimaced, her eyes wide. She could feel Ravana’s power from here, waves upon waves of it. The sensation was akin to being an ant looking upon the face of a human about to step on them. Ravana was powerful beyond reason and logic, even Carman hadn’t been this awful! He wasn’t even a foe! He was a force of nature itself! They may as well try to stop a hurricane!

Simoni clawed anxiously at the ground, still in her garuda form, “What are we gonna do?” she whispered to Arja.

Arja shuddered, “I… I don’t know… he’s… I have no idea! I don’t know of ANYTHING that can fight something like that! No wonder Rama used a mundane blade!”

Suddenly, a voice echoed out, so loud that Arja fell to her knees with her hands over her ears and Simoni had to change back to do likewise, Dawn hissing and folding her own ears back.

WHAT IS THIS? WHAT HAS BECOME OF MY HOME? THESE MORTAL MEN SCURRY ABOUT MY LAND LIKE INSECTS… WHERE IS MY CASTLE? WHERE ARE MY SUBJECTS?

The voice of Ravana echoed throughout the island, all around them they heard people wailing and panicking, several of the older or weaker ones even fainting or being struck deaf or dead outright from his voice!

“FATHER!” cried Indrajit, “It was the work of that coward Rama! He used a horrible weapon to imprison you, but I destroyed it! You are free once more!”

The heads of the giant turned towards them…

AH, YES, I REMEMBER NOW. THAT STRANGE ARROW HE HAD… IT STRUCK ME IN THE CHEST, THEN I REMEMBER NOTHING AT ALL. HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN?

“Too long father! Centuries! Let us rebuild your kingdom together, then we will bring all of India to heel under your glory once more!” replied Indrajit, rushing past Arja and Simoni as he ran towards the docks.

The two girls got to their feet, rubbing their ears, “Y-you said Morrigan had a plan?” asked Simoni.

Arja nodded, “That’s what King Hanuman told me…” she replied.

“Better be a good one.” nodded the garuda as she bent down and let Arja onto her back, flying off in pursuit of the rakshasa prince.

When they landed they found Nelen and the others a bit injured, but otherwise well. By now it was nighttime and Natasha, Nicu, and Tex had joined them… but right now the rakshasa weren’t paying attention to them. All of them on the docks were facing towards Ravana and kneeling, their heads bowed.

“Guys! Are you alright?!” asked Simoni as she landed.

“Yeah…” sighed Nelen, rubbing a sore spot on his arm, “Guess you couldn’t stop him huh?” he asked.

“Yeah yeah well no point in dwelling on it…” hissed Dawn, “How do we deal with THAT?! Unless one of us can pull a freakin’ megazord out of our asses I don’t think we’re going to!”

Sammi frowned, his rapier stained with rakshasa blood and his shirtsleeve torn, “That is an excellent question Dawn… I must admit I’m at a loss.”

“Yeah… me too…” whined Stephy as he stayed close to Tex, “I mean… that thing shouldn’t even be able to exist in this reality! How is it doing this?!”

“Sri Lanka.” replied Nelen. “Its Ravana’s former kingdom, something about the land remembers him and anchors him enough to stay… otherwise he’d need an avatar or something.”

“Aye, useful things, them avatars.” said a voice from behind him.

Nelen nodded, then his brain caught up with what he’d heard as he looked behind him. Standing there was a familiar person wearing baggy cargo pants with extra pockets, a black tank top over a chest binder, a pair of sturdy boots, and a long two-handed sword strapped to her back in a scabbard. They had bright red hair cropped short, and their body was spotted with scars here and there, a grin on their face. “Wait… LOREN?!" he exclaimed, "When the hell did you get here?! Is Clan Fullmoon coming too?”

Loren grinned at him, “Ooo, good guess, wrong though…” she smirked.

Sammi however took a quick step back from her, “Nelen… that is NOT who you think it is…” he said, almost awestruck.

Nelen looked between them, then glanced at Loren again, “Hang on, something about you does feel… off…” he muttered.

Loren grinned, “C’mon boyo, yer cleverer ‘n that… think… did ye just think ‘Th’ Maven’s Avatar’ was a fancy title?”

Nelen’s jaw fell open, “You’re… Morrigan?!”

She nodded, “Aye, knew we’d get there in th’ end. Dunnae worry, Loren is all in on this ‘un. After th’ mess with th’ manticore we knew shite was about ta hit th’ fan, so I had a wee chat with ‘er ‘n she’s lettin’ me borrow her body so we can do this.”

Simoni cocked her head, “We?”

There was a cracking noise, and two trees nearby bent towards each other, forming a natural arch… and through it suddenly was a swirl of glamour, and then the briars of the hedge, and three people walked out.

… at least, people shaped beings.

“Oh bloody hell, its mother…” whispered Sammi as Lady Sera strode out into the docks, looking around with distaste as if she’d just stepped in something.

“Hmph, I see you were not exaggerating the climate here Samuel… this is rather disgusting.” she frowned, her lip curling in distaste.

Next came someone none of them recognized, a woman in a black top, jeans, and biker boots with a sturdy black choker around her neck. She breathed in, and grinned wide, “Oh everyone in this town is terrified. What a feast!” she laughed.

Finally however emerged someone much smaller, someone who caused most of them to cry out in alarm. Sammi immediately drew his rapier as Nelen reached into his bag, Dawn hissing angrily.

Isolde, the Everblooming Rose, emerged and frowned at them. “UGH! THESE ONES?! This is who we’re saving?! Morrigan you jerk! If you’d told me it was them I’d have never come!” she shouted, stomping her foot angrily.

“Aye, ‘s why I didn’t tell ye.” grinned Morrigan. “ ‘sides, remember wut I did tell ye.”

Isolde took a deep breath, then stared at Stephy and stomped right up to him, her dress flouncing around her as she did. “Stephen Fullmoon. You are a HORRIBLE. WICKED. NASTY. TOY-BREAKING. FRIEND-STEALING. GIFT-REJECTING. BOY… and ONE day I will get repayment for every single time you’ve wronged me!” she snapped, then sighed, “BUT! If Ravana is allowed to do as he likes… this world just won’t be fun anymore…” she shrugged. “So, for now, you are safe from me.” she nodded.

Stephy was half-hidden behind Sammi, who had his rapier at the ready. Isolde looked at it, then she just rolled her eyes and walked away to a more open area of the docks. “WELL?! Are we going to do this or NOT Morrigan?!”

Sera and Claire walked towards her as Morrigan looked back at them, “Look, ye lot deal with Indrajit. We got Ravana, we just… need to pool our resources as it were.” she winked.

Then she went off to join the others… and as she did Ravana’s voice echoed again.

SO. THESE MORTALS HAVE TORN DOWN MY PALACE OF OLD, REPLACING IT WITH THEIR DISGUSTING HIVES? HMPH, TOO BIG A BOTHER TO PULL DOWN ONE AT A TIME…

The rakshasa king raised his hands above him, and they began to crackle with energy, and the water around his legs began to churn.

A GOOD EARTHQUAKE OUGHT TO CLEAR THEM OUT.

The others readied their weapons and spells as Simoni looked over, “Whatever they’re doing, they better hurry it up!” she whined.

Nearby, the three faeries and the goddess stood in a circle. They each took a deep breath, and then clasped their hands together.

“I am Isolde, Everblooming Rose, and I stand for Spring and all that blooms and grows.” intoned Isolde, and an unseen breeze swirled around her, raising a flurry of flower petals.

“I be Morrigan, Maven of War, ‘n I stand fer Summer ‘n all that burns hot in th’ land ‘n in th’ heart.” spoke Morrigan, and as if an invisible hand had lit a ring of gasoline around her legs, flames swirled up around her body!

“I am Claire, Dullahan Knight, and I stand for Autumn and for all that feel the chill of cold nights, long shadows, and creeping terror.” spoke Claire, and around her body a cloud of dry autumn leaves seemed to come from nowhere, swirling around her as she spoke.

“I am Sera, of the Icebound Heart, and I stand for Winter and for the ice without and within.” she spoke, and a swirl of frost erupted around her form as well.

Then, they all spoke in unison. “Let four be made one. Let the seasons become the wheel. We become the world, and the world stands against this foe!”

Then, they all seemed to break apart into the flower petals, autumn leaves, flames, and frost that surrounded them, the four symbols of the elements surging upwards into the sky as if to join together, forming a sphere of swirling magic and glamour in the sky.

This gave Ravana pause, the king releasing his spell before he finished it and looking over.

WHAT IS THIS? WHAT IS HAPPENING ON MY LAND INDRAJIT?

Indrajit scowled, staring at the sphere as it began to grow larger, and brighter, almost as if something was growing within it. “Father, I don’t know! I have never seen anything like this!” he called back.

The sphere grew bigger, and bigger, until it was the size of a building, and then it shattered and from within, and a pair of massive feet landed on the ground as a woman stood there, easily as tall as Ravana was! She had Isolde’s black hair, Morrigan’s green eyes, Sera’s face, and the powerful frame of Claire. She wore a leather shirt and a pair of leggings with boots and hovering behind her was a huge wheel, supported by seemingly nothing at all, with twelve spokes in it.

She glanced over at the group, then snapped her fingers.

WE ALMOST FORGOT…

It almost sounded like she chuckled, but she pointed at Aisha and gestured, and Claiomh Solias flew from its sheath towards her, becoming larger as it went! When she caught it the sword had become gigantic, but just the right size for her to wield it.

WHAT IS THIS? WHO ARE YOU?! demanded the rakshasa king as he glared towards her.

The woman turned to him, and in an eyeblink she was standing in the ocean, the sword held ready.

WE ARE SISTER TO MOTHER GAIA, SHE WHO WATCHES OVER THE TURNING OF THE YEAR. YOU MAY CALL US THE LADY OF SEASONS, AND WE ARE HERE TO STOP YOUR RETURN KING RAVANA!

The rakshasa king threw back his heads and laughed at this, as if he was told a particularly funny joke.

FOOL! I AM PROTECTED, NOTHING BRAHMIN CREATED BESIDES HUMANS CAN EVER HARM ME! WHAT DO YOU EXPECT TO DO?

The Lady of Seasons smirked at him.

WE ARE ALL OF THE FAIR FOLK, RAVANA. BRAHMIN DID NOT CREATE US. she replied, and for emphasis she stepped forward and slashed with Claiomh Solias!

Ravana roared and stumbled backwards, looking down at his chest in shock as blood oozed from the wound, then he glared at her and roared in fury, preparing to charge her down!

The group watched in shock as Dawn whispered, “… megazord…” then they looked up at a roar as Indrajit dove towards them!

“YOU DARE! EVEN AT THE MOMENT OF TRIUMPH YOU DEFY US! LEARN YOUR PLACE MORTALS! YOU SHOULD FEEL HONORED TO EVEN BE IN THE PRESENCE OF MY FATHER!” he snarled in fury, landing with a tremendous crash as the group scattered.

Indrajit straightened up, “I will let my father deal with your strange ally, as for this mortal rabble…” he took a breath, “MY RAKSHASA! HEAR ME! THE MORTALS OF SRI LANKA ARE YOUR’S! FEAST! FEAST TO YOUR HEART’S CONTENT!” he shouted.

The rakshasa at the pier stood up, then looked between each other, grinning widely, then as one they began to charge up the path to the city and with a loud roar they ran for the buildings, and the humans hiding within them!

“SHIT!” snarled Nelen, turning this way and that, but it would be like fighting a frenzy of piranhas! There were too many!

Arja and Simoni had much the same idea. Even for the firebird it was just too big a force to hold back…

But as the rakshasa drew close to the first building a sudden rain of fire cut them off! Then another!

“HAHA! GO MY FRIENDS! Lets show them how sharp our talons are!” laughed a voice as Simoni looked up with a grin.

Descending from the sky was a flock of garuda with black feathers, astride them were vanara, but these ones had rich brown fur instead of gold!

“Its Elder Rodas and his flock!” she cheered, “Akul and Lakshimi must’ve gotten through to them!”

Arja grinned, “Yeah, and those vanara aren’t from our village! They must be his friends too!”

As they said this the garuda elder flew down past them, a vanara warrior riding on his back as well. “You kids take care of Indrajit! We’ll deal with his army!” he nodded, flapping his way back into the sky as the rest of his flock dived and threw flames at the rakshasa, driving them back from the buildings.

Indrajit roared in rage, looking between them all, then lashed out at Simoni. Nelen grabbed her and threw her to the side before he could reach her however. “MOVE!” he shouted, then he braced himself as his eyes became emeralds and his antlers grew, the hunt god taking over as he took the full brunt of Indrajit’s fearsome claws… skidding to a halt a few feet away.

He hissed, then looked down at his arms, then back at Indrajit. “That… didn’t hurt half as bad as I thought it would.” observed Cernunnos, raising an eyebrow. “Girls. How DID he release Ravana? What did he do?” he asked.

Arja and Simoni glanced at each other, “He stabbed himself in the hand with the arrow, then it broke and released both of them.”

Cernunnos grinned at this, “Really… that wasn’t very smart Indrajit.” he nodded, breaking off a branch of a nearby tree next to the waterfront as it became a spear.

The rakshasa prince took a step back, grimacing. He had almost massacred the entire vanara race, that blow should have left nothing but a stain on the ground!

“Arja, remember what happened to your mom when you destroyed Claiomh Dorcadas? Did she get her powers back?” asked Cernunnos.

Arja gasped in realization, “No! She didn’t! Simoni had to use the arcane blade’s fragment on her!” she grinned.

Dawn laughed, “HAH! Which means Papa Smurf here isn’t at full power! GET HIM!” she yowled as the others nodded, then rushed him.

Indrajit ducked around Cernunnos’ spear, then under Drusilla’s club, but as much as they tried to hit him they just got in the way more often than not! There were too many of them to be effective, and while his strength was lessened, he was still an experienced warrior!

Finally Arja shouted, “Leave him to me and Simoni! You guys go back up Rodas and his flock!”

The others hesitated, but nodded and ran towards the Rakshasa army as Arja and Simoni stared down the Rakshasa Prince. Arja flexed her claws, sparks flickering between the tips, as Simoni clawed at the ground with her talons, flexing her wings.

Indrajit glared, then charged again as the two dove away from each other. Simoni shot into the air and circled around, grabbing Arja in her talons and flying into the air, then releasing her and sending a blast of wind to encircle her. Arja channeled fire into it and her body became a falling meteor! Indrajit scowled and dove away, narrowly missing being struck by it as the blast from it cratered the ground where he’d been!

He slid to a stop, only for a burst of wind to slam into his back and cause him to stumble, which was all the opening Arja needed! She leapt forward, her hands engulfed in flames, and slammed her fist home into Indrajit’s face, scalding his skin and burning away part of his mustache!

“AUGH! YOU DARE STRIKE ONE OF MY CASTE?!” he snarled, “EVERY SECOND YOU LIVE IS AN INSULT TO ME CHILD OF HANUMAN!”

Arja just grinned and leapt into the air, landing on Simoni’s back. “Hah! You talked so big back home. Killed millions of vanara, but now you can’t even touch one?!” she taunted.

Indrajit gritted his teeth, then leapt towards them, ready to lash out with his claws again, but as he did the fight in the bay continued.

Ravana threw a burst of energy towards the Lady of Seasons, who parried it easily with Claiomh Solias, then she spun and slashed upwards, scoring his body across his chest from his right hip to left shoulder!

The king roared in anger and pain, and this distracted Indrajit. He’d never heard his father experience pain before!

Arja and Simoni didn’t hesitate, Arja conjured a wall of embers before Simoni who filled her wings with wind and flapped hard downwards, sending a superheated downdraft towards Indrajit who cried out and fell to the ground, his skin blistering where it hit him!

“Again?! AGAIN?! NO! I AM PRINCE INDRAJIT! I CONQURED THE DEVA THEMSELVES! YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME! NOTHING!” he bellowed.

Back at the city limits the rakshasa were being held back by the combined forces of Rodas and his flock, their vanara allies, and the rest of Arja’s allies. The people inside the buildings watched the battle transfixed, unable to look away but too terrified to go help them fight back the rakshasa invaders!

Most of them anyways… one of the windows cracked open and a gun barrel pointed out. The building was a police station, now mostly abandoned as the cops were pretty much wiped out at the pier… but the weapons locker wasn’t and had some weapons that were meant to kill (dangerous wild animals usually.) A young man held a rifle steady, trying to get a clear shot at one of the monsters… and suddenly a feline girl shot towards their target, clawing at the rakshasa's eyes and going to dart away, but the monster grabbed her by the tail! She yowled and stumbled, and the man took his shot!

The rakshasa went rigid, but the bullet hit right in the temple and shredded its brain! It fell on its side, releasing the cat-like creature as she looked around, saw him, grinned and gave a thumbs up, then ran back to the rest of the fight.

The man inside looked at the rifle, then at the fallen rakshasa. “… they can be killed? We can… fight them?” he ran around to the door for the small room he’d been hiding in, kicking it open. “EVERYONE! I just shot one of the monsters and it killed it! We can fight them!” he called out.

The group hesitated, but many of the younger members of it grinned between themselves. They were rather sick of being afraid, “Where did you find the gun?” asked one.

Outside Stephy conjured a blast of frost, causing a rakshasa to fall on it’s face as it slid on a sudden patch of ice that wasn’t there before as Tex stepped forward with a pump shotgun that crackled with electricity and unloaded a round into it before it could get up, the gunshot literally cracking like thunder! He sighed as the cards shifted back into a normal poker hand. “That’s another one spent! There’s still tons though!” he frowned.

Stephy nodded, “Yeah I know, but what else can we do?!” he asked, sending another blast of snow out at the army, causing them to slide and stumble into each other as the ground froze. It was a most effective strategy for him and Sammi to use here they’d found. Freezing the ground temporarily took little glamour, and the rakshasa had no knowledge of how to walk on ice. Their home was a tropical jungle, they’d never needed it before!

Suddenly several gunshots echoed through the area! The young man inside had shown his fellows where the armory was, and now anyone who could use a gun was doing so. Rakshasa roared in fury, stumbling from wounds in their shoulders, guts, or legs, or falling outright from headshots.

A handgun would do little, but these were .243 caliber Winchester rounds meant to kill dangerous predators in the jungles. Even a rakshasa couldn’t handle those! Every window that could be opened had a gun barrel sticking out of it as several young boys with practice on a firing range, a few older men who had military service under their belts, a couple retired cops, and one woman who lived out in the outskirts and had a rotten time with animals in her herb garden opened fire!

Several more rakshasa fell wounded or dying, then Drusilla snarled and clutched at her arm before bellowing loud enough to rattle the windows, “I’M ON YOUR SIDE ASSHOLE! WATCH WHERE YOU’RE AIMING!”

The gunshots paused for a moment, then a single voice called back, “… sorry!”

Back at the waterfront Arja and Simoni fought against Indrajit, the furious prince now sporting burns and scalding on his flesh, his face blistered where Arja’s fist had hit it. “You… all of this is YOUR fault! SCION OF HANUMAN! WHEN MY FATHER TAKES THE THRONE I WILL MARCH MY PEOPLE ON YOUR VILLAGE AND SLAUGHTER EVERYONE WITHIN IT!”

Simoni flew out of his reach, the garuda nodding to Arja, “I think its time we get out the big guns. Hot wings?” she grinned.

Arja grinned back, “Hot wings.” she replied, and together they channeled their power as, once more, the phoenix took flight!

Huge fiery wings spread over the battlefield as Indrajit swore and stepped back, then his eyes widened. Something was… different.

The bird wasn’t entirely normal flames now, the very edges of the wings, and the talons and beak, burned golden. The changes hadn’t gone unnoticed by the ones conjuring it either. Arja looked at her claws, which now gleamed like polished metal, and Simoni’s claws on her talons were now akin to polished obsidian, her wingtips going jet back, though the rest was still emerald green like before. “Whats happening?” she asked Arja.

“I don’t know… but I feel… stronger somehow!” she whispered, “Simoni! Go! We can take him!” she grinned as Simoni nodded, the firebird arcing downwards towards the rakshasa prince!

Indrajit glared up at them, feeling the power radiating off them, but he didn’t flee. Perhaps he was simply too proud to do so, or perhaps he truly believed he couldn’t be defeated… he leapt, trying to grab them, but the phoenix got him first!

The talons closed around him and he screamed in pain as the flames bit into his body. Not just normal flames either! The golden fire ate away at his power! It burned away any spells he tried to use against them! “NO! HOW CAN THIS BE?!” he cried out, “F-FATHER! GREAT KING! YOUR SON IS IN PERIL! I BESEECH YOU!”

As he did Ravana’s heads turned to him, but that was what the Lady of Seasons needed. She lashed out again, carving another mark from his left hip to right shoulder, leaving his body quartered from the chest outwards. NOW! she shouted.

She thrust out her sword and Ravana cried out as his body went rigid!

“By spring’s blossoms and growth, I bind you!” she said in Isolde’s voice, and as she did Ravana’s right arm erupted into rose covered vines, the thorns sinking deep in to his arms.

“By summer’s fury ‘n heat, I bind ye!” she said in Morrigan’s voice, and his legs erupted in flames so powerful the ocean could not quench them, steam rising all around him!

“By autumn’s chill nights and bitter winds, I bind you!” she said in Claire’s, and thorny vines burst along his left arm as well, but these ones had no blooms, only thick long thorns. Dry and thirsty for his blood.

“… and by winter’s frigid kiss and deep silence, I bind you!” she finished in Sera’s voice, and Ravana let out one final scream as all his heads were frozen solid in one go.

TO THE WHEEL OF SEASONS WE BIND YOU! ONLY ONE FOURTH OF YOU MAY BE REAL, SO YOU MAY NEVER BE WHOLE… BEGONE! commanded the Lady of Seasons as she slashed again, and Ravana’s body split into four quarters as all but the rose covered one faded away, the remaining arm crashing into the ocean and disappearing beneath the waves.

Indrajit stared in horror, all pain forgotten. “No… NO THIS CANNOT BE! EVEN RAMA COULD NOT DEFEAT HIM WITHOUT THE ARROW! MY FATHER IS INVINCIBLE! HE CANNOT LOSE! I CANNOT LOSE!” he insisted, thrashing in their talons as they arced out over the ocean.

“Everyone loses sometimes Indrajit…” smirked Simoni.

“Get used to it.” nodded Arja.

Then together they tossed Indrajit into the air, and the phoenix’s beak stabbed forward into the prince’s chest. He let out a cry of pain as his body erupted in golden fire, then he fell down into the ocean with a loud splash and a huge cloud of steam. He did not come back up.

The two waited for a moment, but when he didn’t come up they immediately made a beeline for where the rakshasa were laying siege to the city… only to find a lot of dead rakshasa. The ones who hadn’t died had all fled when they saw Ravana go down and heard Indrajit’s cry of pain and defeat. Without their leaders they were wild rakshasa again, and it served none of them to stay and be killed.

They landed near Nelen and the others, changing back as they did and jogging over. “So… its over?” asked Simoni.

Nelen was sitting on a bench on the roadside, wiping his brow. He was sweating profusely from all the fighting, but he nodded. “Yeah, I saw what they did to Ravana. I don’t think even he can come back from that.” he smirked.

Arja nodded, “Er… yeah, we saw that too but… what did they do?” she asked.

“Ain’t it obvious ye wee monkey?” said a familiar voice as Loren walked towards them. “Just me this time, Morrigan said ‘good job ye lot,’ but she ‘n th’ others had ta bugger off. Takes a lot outta ‘em bein’ one person like that.”

Arja frowned up at her, “Pretend for a second I didn’t grow up in Ireland okay? I have no clue what that was!”

Nelen took a long pull from a bottle of water, then looked at her, “They bound Ravana’s body to the seasons, then cut him to pieces. One fourth to each season. Only that fourth exists until the season turns, then it stops existing and another part appears. Ravana isn’t dead, but he can’t come back unless all his body is together, and that’s not possible anymore.” he nodded.

Arja blinked slowly, “So… he’s gone, like permanently this time?!” she asked, almost afraid to believe it.

Nelen nodded, “It’d take something insane to bring him back, something that’d alter the entire planet and how it works. Unless Indrajit can pull that kind of magic, he’s gone.”

Simoni giggled, “Then he’s gone. We used the phoenix on Indrajit and threw him into the ocean after he caught fire, and he was pretty hurt already when we did.” she grinned.

Then the group heard cheering and looked over to see several of the people who’d been shooting the rakshasa standing next to them with their guns, pictures being taken to post on social media.

Nelen sighed, “… well, I think that about does it for keeping the supernatural secret. Hard to miss a freaking kaiju battle…” he frowned.

Loren nodded, “Eh, Jennie knew it’d likely happen in ‘er lifetime Nelen. Ye cannae expect ta keep stuff hidden forever, especially nowadays. If it wasn’t us, it’d be a lucky shot o’ a pixie, or a guy gettin’ a photo o’ his friend gettin’ dragged off by th’ gentry, or somethin’…”

Nelen sighed, “I guess, just UGH!” he threw up his arms, “WHY US THOUGH?!” he snapped in frustration.

Dawn grinned widely, “… because. Just…” she spread her hands dramatically, “… because…”

#fiction #modern fantasy #supernatural adventures #lgbtq

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belphies-wife · 3 years

Text

What Naps Are Like With Them (Everyone)

In celebration of my first post kinda blowing up, I wrote a little something for all the characters, including Luke! (platonically for him, of course)

Again, thank you guys for all the love on my Satan Reacting to Montero fic <3 I’ll be working on requests after this.

Also, no beta we die like Lilith.

»»————-　♔　————-««

Lucifer

➼ Never sleeps, e v e r

➼ His brothers would destroy the House of Lamentation in his sleep

➼Took a while to convince him to take a nap with you because of this

➼ His brothers listen to you more than they listen to their older brother, so you begged them to behave for a few hours so that their older brother can rest for once

➼ You will use your pact if you have to, just please let this man sleep

➼ You made sure to pick a day where you know Lucifer hadn’t slept the night before due to his workload

➼ Seriously, you had to talk to Diavolo about that

➼ You both got into your comfiest pajamas and played some soft classical music for ultimate relaxation

➼ You thought about taking a picture of hm while he slept

➼ He saw it coming and had you sleep facing away from him with his arms wrapped around you so you couldn’t turn around

➼ Smart bastard

➼ If you complain about it he’ll laugh at you

➼ Hey, at least you get cuddles

➼ Luci here looks so calm and peaceful while he sleeps, it’s adorable

➼ No wonder everyone tries to take a picture of him sleeping

➼ He’s a heavy sleeper, so you end up having to wake him up after a few hours

➼ He thanks you

➼ He’s well-rested and in a good mood for the rest of the day

➼ His brothers obviously take advantage of that

»»————-　♔　————-««

Mammon

➼ Unlike most of his brothers, he actually has a decent sleep schedule (most of the time)

➼ However, if you wanted to take a nap with him, he wouldn’t say no

➼ Well, he’d say no, but then say yes immediately after

➼ “Whaddya mean you wanna take a nap with me? Do I look like Belphie!?”

➼ Blushing like crazy while complaining, as usual

➼ “Fine, I’ll go nap with him, then.”

➼ “Oi! Come back here! I changed my mind, I wanna take a nap!”

➼ Tsundere baby

➼ Obviously, you tease him about it

➼ “Jealous, huh? I thought that was Levi’s thing.”

“Shut up! Are we gonna cuddle or not?”

“I said nap, not cuddle.”

➼ Cue the pout

➼ The definition of the 🥺 face

➼ Please love this child

➼ “I’m kidding, of course we’re gonna cuddle.”

➼ Usually a little spoon

➼ Unless he’s in a jealous mood

➼ If he is, he will hold on to you like his life depends on it.

➼ More teasing, obviously

➼ If you think about it, Greed and Envy are very similar

➼ Poor baby wants love

➼ New drinking game: take a shot every time I call Mammon a baby

➼ I shot of water, I know you’re dehydrated

➼ Anyways, naps with Mammon = cuddles

➼ Either you’re holding him to you or he’s holding you to him

➼ f o r e h e a d k i s s e s

➼ Mammon gets nightmares about what happened with Belphie sometimes, so lots of comfort cuddles

»»————-　♔　————-««

Leviathan

➼ “Levi, did you sleep at all last night?”

➼ Obviously not

➼ He was up all night binge watching the latest season of “The Magical Ruri Hanai: Demo Girl”’s spin-off series

➼ Why would you even ask?

➼ “Levi, did you stay up all night?”

➼ He looked away, a little embarrassed. “Uh, yeah.”

➼ “Levi, honey. You need to sleep. It’s not good for your health to be staying up so late.”

➼ Leviathan.exe has stopped working

➼ You’re worrying about him?????

➼ And you’re calling him honey?????

➼ Are you trying to kill him?????

➼ “You must be exhausted. Wanna take a nap?”

“Oh, uh. Yeah. I guess I could use a nap.”

“Alright. We should go to my room, since there’s more room on my bed than in your tub.”

➼ Wait you meant a nap together????

➼ You’re really trying to kill him.

➼ Usually, he’d make fun of you and call you a normie.

➼ But he was currently too busy dying.

➼ If somehow you managed to resurrect him and get him to your room to nap, then you’d know this shy boi is a little spoon.

➼ Does this really come as a surprise to anyone? It shouldn’t.

➼ He’s blushing like crazy the whole time.

➼ “Levi, if you can't sleep with me here, I can leave.”

“No!”

➼ He does sleep eventually.

➼ Sweet baby cuddles you in his sleep.

➼ Wholesome af

»»————-　♔　————-««

Satan

➼ As the most responsible one in the family, he has a pretty good sleep schedule, so he doesn’t normally take naps.

➼ However, if you ask him to, he’ll agree.

➼ If it makes you happy he’ll do it <3

➼ He’s not really touchy-feely and won’t initiate any cuddling.

➼ Dude that you asked to nap because you were tired and wanted to sleep.

➼ Nah bro, you just want cuddles.

➼ While he won’t initiate any cuddles, if you make it more obvious that you want some, he’ll give them to you.

➼ Big spoon

➼ If you want him to be the small spoon, he will, but he’ll be flustered af.

»»————-　♔　————-««

Asmodeus

➼ “Asmo, wanna sleep together?”

➼ Could you have made a poorer word choice?

➼ No, you could not.

➼ This boy literally made the lenny face.

➼ “Asmo, I meant a nap.”

“Well, I suppose that’ll satisfy me for now.”

➼ You then proceeded to smack him with a pillow.

“Hey! Don’t mess up my hair!”

➼ You had to wait for him to take off his makeup and change his clothes and stuff.

➼ It’s a process.

➼ Cuddle’s tf out of you.

➼ He’ll be the big spoon or the little spoon. It doesn’t matter to him, so you can decide.

»»————-　♔　————-««

Beelzebub

➼ Takes naps with Belphie a lot and thought it was cute that you also wanted to nap.

➼ Pre-nap snack first, though.

➼ Then he’s ready.

➼ Sweet boi will enjoy the nap whether he’s a big spoon or little spoon.

➼ If you’re happy, he’s happy <3

➼ You kiss his face a lot.

➼ He thinks you’re the cutest little human ever when you do that.

➼ I’d say soft Beel, but when is he ever not soft?

➼ Not counting the custard incident

➼ He Likes to kiss the top of your head while you sleep.

➼ He definitely snores.

➼ It takes some getting used to, but you’re not gonna let keep you from cuddling your big boi.

➼ It honestly feels really safe and comforting to just be wrapped up in his arms.

➼ Equally comforting to have his head resting against you.

➼ Overall just really soft.

»»————-　♔　————-««

Belphegor

➼ You don’t even need to ask. He’s the king of naps.

➼ Being around Belphie for an extended period of time makes you sleepy.

➼ You’re not sure if it’s because he’s sleep or if it’s because he has some sort of sleep-power.

➼ Any time you cuddle you end up taking a nap.

➼ Do I even have to say it?

➼ S m a l l s p o o n

➼ The smallest spoon.

➼ As the youngest, he’s the most spoiled, so he’s really really clingy and just expects you to drop whatever you’re doing at any given time to nap with him.

➼ I mean, you’d probably do it even if he didn’t expect you to.

➼ He does this adorable thing when he’s sleepy and he sees you nearby where he’ll go up to you and wrap his arms around you and rest his head against your shoulder and just say “Sleep, please.”

➼ You will stop whatever you’re doing no matter what and go up to the attic to nap with him.

➼ Not an exaggeration. It’s happened while Lucifer was talking to you before he he was p i s s e d.

➼ It was obviously intentional

➼ But how can you say no to his cute face?

➼ He seems to be able to keep you from having nightmares and you sleep 100x better with him than on your own

➼ Softest boi

»»————-　♔　————-««

Simeon

➼ While he may dress like a stripper, this man is an angel and is pure™

➼ Anything you want, you’ll get. How can he ever deny you a thing?

➼ He can’t.

➼ You want naps? You get naps.

➼ You want cuddles? You get cuddles.

➼ You want sleepy kisses? You get sleepy kisses.

➼ Hotel? Trivago.

➼ But seriously, sleepy kisses are definitely a thing.

➼ Especially forehead kisses.

➼ Big spoon. He likes to hold you.

➼ Sweet boy loves you so much 🥺

»»————-　♔　————-««

Luke (Platonically)

➼ Purgatory Hall has weekly movie nights, and they invite you over a lot to join them.

➼ You and Solomon have a very long list of human world movies you want Simeon to watch, but the poor man can’t figure out how Devilflix works for the life of him, so group movie nights are the only way.

➼ Not that any of you mind, of course.

➼ Luke begged Simeon to let him join you guys (he has a pretty strict bedtime)

➼ Simeon lets him occasionally if the movie is appropriate.

➼ Luke insisted on sitting next to you and sharing any treats he made that day.

➼ Poor baby ended up falling asleep not even halfway through the movie.

➼ Solomon obviously made fun of him.

➼ “Looks like it’s naptime for the little chihuahua.”

“Don’t tease him!” You say, defending Luke.

➼ At some point, Luke shifts so that he’s leaning against you in his sleep.

➼ You coo at how cute the ‘lil cherub looks.

➼ Aaaand then you proceed to fall asleep as well.

➼ You woke up the next day still on the couch. You were pretty confused since Simeon usually carries anyone who falls asleep to their bed (or the guest room, in your case).

➼ Then you realize Luke still asleep and wrapped around you.

➼ HE IS THE MOST PRECIOUS BABY EVER

➼ You assumed Simeon didn’t want to attempt moving one of you and risk waking the other so he just left you too

➼ Whatever it was, you went back to sleep with the little cherub snuggling you

»»————-　♔　————-««

Solomon

➼ Purgatory Hall sleepover!

➼ Everyone had already fallen asleep, so you asked Solomon if he’d be alright with you two sleeping together.

➼ Not a good idea.

➼ You’re both settled in his bed and you’re about to drift off to sleep when this silly little sorcerer decided to tickle you.

➼ You s h r e i k

➼ “Solomon!”

➼ “Keep your voice down, dear. You wouldn’t want Simeon hearing and getting the wrong idea, now. Would you?”

➼ The s m a c c you gave him though-

➼ “Can I sleep now, or are you gonna keep bothering me?”

“You know you love me.” He grinned.

“Well, duh. But I also love sleep.”

➼ He does let you sleep after that.

➼ You fall asleep first, and one look at your sleeping face and he falls in love with you all over again.

➼ You’re so p r e c i o u s.

➼ He held you close to him as you slept, pressing soft, featherlight kisses against our forehead and nose, careful not to wake you.

➼ He’s a bitch until you fall asleep, pretty much.

»»————-　♔　————-««

Diavolo

➼ It wasn’t intentional for you to fall asleep, really.

➼ You’d had a long day, and you had been sitting with the demon prince at his palace as he told you about his day over a cup of tea.

➼ It wasn’t like what he was saying was boring.

➼ No, it’s just that you were so tired, and the sofa you were sitting on was so comfy, and Diavolo was talking so much.

➼ It didn’t help that the tea that Barbatos had prepared was especially soothing.

➼ You couldn’t help yourself. You dozed off.

➼ Diavolo continued talking, and probably would’ve gone on for a long while without even noticing if Barbatos hadn’t cleared his throat and gestured towards your sleeping form.

➼ If it had been anyone else, he would have deemed it disrespectful.

➼ But it was you, and he had realized a long time ago that he was incapable of being upset with you.

➼ “It seems they’ve had a tiring day, my Lord. I suggest you let them rest.” Said Barbatos.

“Of course. I wouldn’t dream of disturbing them.” Carefully, he made his way over to you and pried the teacup from our hands so that you didn’t move and break it in your sleep.

➼ Then, he removed his suit jacket and draped it over you like a blanket.

➼ Not gonna lie, even Barbatos was a bit shooketh.

➼ He didn’t say anything, though.

➼ Diavolo kissed your forehead lightly and had Barbatos bring him the last of his paperwork for the day, which he finished quickly while remaining by your side.

➼ After that he picked up our still sleeping form and brought you to his room where he tucked you in.

➼ He sent Lucifer a text saying that you would be staying the night at the palace then went to sleep after answering a few emails.

➼ He snores loudly, but you somehow managed to sleep through it.

»»————-　♔　————-««

Barbatos

➼ Diavolo set up another palace retreat (because I said so)

➼ You had been assigned a room with Luke and Beelzebub that time.

➼ It went good at first, and everyone was sent off to sleep at around 10 p.m.

➼ At some point in the middle of the night, you awoke from a particularly nasty nightmare.

➼ You were more scared than usual when you woke up, since the room you were in was not your room at the House of Lamentation.

➼ It took a while for you to realize where you were and calm down, but even then you were to afraid to sleep.

➼ Slowly, you exited the room, careful not to disturb Luke and Beel.

➼ You made your way to Barbatos’ room and knocked softly.

➼ Briefly, you wondered if he was asleep, but then he opened the door.

➼ You silently panicked when you realized your hair was a mess and your clothing was rumpled from sleep, but your disheveled appearance didn’t seem to faze him.

➼ “Hello. I was just about to prepare for bed. Is something the matter?”

➼ Suddenly, you felt very, very silly to come to such an ancient, powerful being for help with a little nightmare.

➼ “Sorry, it’s nothing. I apologize for bothering you. I’ll leave.” You said, your cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

“You never bother me, my dear. Would you like to come in?” He asked, opening the door wider and stepping aside.

“Yes. I would like that.”

“Is something bothering you?”

You blushed. “I had a nightmare. I couldn’t go back to sleep after that. I know, it’s silly.”

“Of course it isn’t.”

“Can I... Can I stay here with you tonight?”

“If it would make you feel better, you may.”

➼ Barbatos tucked you in then sat next to you, gently running his hands through your hair. He began singing an old song in some ancient, forgotten language. His voice was soft and soothing as he sang, and you found yourself unable to stay awake even if you tried.

➼ “Goodnight, my dear.” He whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

»»————-　♔　————-««

Thank you so much for reading!

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amor-immortalem · 3 years

Text

You’re Important to Me part 4

Part 1 | part 2| part 3

Genre: angst/comfort

———————————————————————-

Chat: Troublemaker (affectionate)

Lucifer: Come home immediately. We need to talk.

Mammon: bout what? If its one of your shitty punishments. Think I’ll pass.

Lucifer rested his head on his desk letting out a groan. The second-born was frustrating him to no end. However, the first-born supposes he’s made him this way from everything he’s put him through. Picking up the pill bottle, he rolled it in his hand and watched as the contents slid from one side to the other. He placed them in a locked door in his desk as he thought about how they had been this close to losing yet another sibling.

A soft rapping on the office door pulled his attention back to the present.

“Enter,” he sat up straight as the guest joined him. It was Levi.

“Do you think Mammon still loves us. I-I’ve really been thinking about what’s been going on….. about our family. What if he leaves us? We lost Lilith. I-I don’t want to lose him too…” The Avatar of Envy’s voice quaked. Back when they were angels they were once close- almost even closer than the twins.

“I’m sure he does, Levi.” His response was hollow words. If Lucifer was being honest, he didn’t really know how Mammon felt about them currently. If he were the one in Mammon’s shoes, he would absolutely despise his brothers.“He’s currently refusing to come home, however. It’s likely that he knows what went on today and that’s why he broke up with the human we all know he cherishes so deeply. He didn’t want us to know.”

“I knew it! He hates us and never wants to see our faces again.”

“Leviathan, I never said that.” Lucifer’s voice was stern. “Please calm down before you throw yourself into a panic attack. He has to come home eventually, and we’ll all talk then- if not tonight then definitely tomorrow morning. For now, maybe you should go play one of your games. If you’d like I could join you to help take your mind off this whole debacle.”

Levi nodded his head slowly. “ I would appreciate that….. Actually, I had made this rpg specifically to play-test with Mammon but if you wanted to….we could play it together.”

“That’s a wonderful idea, Levi.”

Finally deciding to make his way home, Mammon pushed open the heavy doors to the house. The last thing he wanted to do was face his brothers right now. He already anticipated their reactions. The teasing and mocking that would be thrown his way- there wasn’t any escape for him now, was there? At least no one was here at the moment- that much he could be greatful for.

As he made his way up to his room, the demon made sure to avoid the places he knew his brothers would frequent at this time of night. Once there, he slipped inside and tossed the bag of clothes he had modeled in today from the top of of the stairs into the walk in closet with practiced precision. When he turned his head, he saw her small, blurry form just lying there on the couch.

“Why’re you in here? Ya got a room if your own dontcha?”

“I just….. sorry. I pushed too hard, didn’t I?” Arella’s voice sounded hurt. “It was just that I thought this might be the only place I could go and you’re brothers wouldn’t come looking for me. I’m still really angry with them. Not that they would anyway, not with how I screamed and yelled at them earlier...”

“And Lucifer didn’t kill ya on the spot? Its a miracle you’re alive after that.” He let out a chuckle. “I can’t tell if you’re incredibly brave or just plain dumb.”

“Maybe both…..” Arella sighed, “I… um… I’ll go back to my room now.” As she stood and made her up the staircase, he could feel the sadness radiating off of their pact mark.

“‘Rella, wait.” He grabbed her by the arm. “Don’t go. I don’t mind if ya stay…. We should talk about earlier, okay?”

He watched as she nodded a small frown on her face. Now that he could see her more clearly, he noticed the puffy eyes and tear tacks streaked down her cheeks. Now he just felt worse.

“I was thinkin’ real hard about this morning and I’m sorry for what I said earlier.” He started, “I don’t… I don’t really think we should break up…. I know you were just trying to help. That you were worried and scared for me.”

“I was…. Can I tell you something?“ she asks as he nods. “Seven years ago, I lost my little brother and then six months later my mother to suicide. One to cyber bullying, the other because she was so consumed with grief from the loss of a child that she saw no way to go on…. Do you know what was like….. to find their bodies? To realize you could have helped them if you had just paid attention and seen the warning signs? It still affects me to this day….They were the only blood related family I had left until I had found a new family here in the Devildom with you and your brothers. A-and then when you were saying all those things last night, I- I flashed back to the night I had found my brother but instead of him it was you and I-I-”

Mammon pulled the human tight against his chest in what could have been a bone crushing hug if he wasn’t careful and she buried her face in his chest. Her body shook with with muffled sobs.

“I’m sorry. I was running my mouth without thinking ‘bout what that might do to everyone- worst of all you….” He leaned down, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “I wont say things like that ever again. No matter how I’m feelin’.

He walked her back towards the bed, letting her get in as he went to go change into some more comfortable clothes for sleeping. He joined her in bed shortly after, pulling her close as he wiped the stray tears from his cheeks. Arella moved closer so she could lay her head on his chest listening to his heartbeat, her crying reduce to quiet sniffles and hiccups by this point.

“Ya know, I think you just wasted your breath when you were yellin’ at my brothers earlier…. I think to them, I’ll just always be the family screw up. I’m already dreading the teasing I’ll get tomorrow at breakfast….”

“It had to be done, though. I think I managed to set them all straight….If you could have seen the look on their faces when I lost control of my temper and fried all the electronics in the common room or when I commanded Asmo to sit so hard he crashed face first into the floor….”

“Wait…you did what?” He quirked an eyebrow as he stared down at her before breaking into a soft laugh, “Ya really are something else, Hon, ya know that? I’ve never met someone who would fight for me like this before- who would call my brothers out on their bullshit.”

“Only because I know you don’t deserve to be treated this way…. You… you deserve good things and to be treated well by the people who you love most.” She yawned as she stretched out a little more in his embrace. “And because I love you and I would be lost if anything were to happen to you.” Her eyes were starting to slip closed.

“I love you too, babe.” The demon hummed as he started to card his fingers through her hair. As soon as he was sure she was out like a light he pressed his lips to the crown of her heard once more.

“Thank you for being here on my worst days, for being my little ray of sunshine down here in the dark.”

Once the morning came around, most of Mammon’s brothers gathered in the common room. They were awaiting the entrance of the Avatar of Greed as it was nearly breakfast time.

Lucifer had figured Mammon would be avoiding them as if they had the plague, so he instructed Beel to drag him in here by any means necessary. They all knew he was successful when they heard Mammon let out a surprised yelp and the clattering of a bowl against the floor.

“C’mon, Beel, Let me go!”

“Not until we all talk.”

“Talk? What’s there to talk about? I didn’t do nothin’ so let me go!’

Both demons soon entered the dining room as the sixth-born sat his older on the couch facing all of them, holding him down by his shoulders so Mammon couldn’t escape despite how he squirmed and tried to wiggle his way out of Beel’s grasp.

“Mammon, stop struggling.” It was a request from eldest, a chance to cooperate. “We all have some words we’d like to say to you.”

Mammon froze at that statement. Here it came: all the ridicule and teasing. He wanted to run. He was the second strongest of them, maybe if he tried hard enough, he could shake his little brother off and get away. What good would that do him though? His brothers would just corner him later anyway so maybe it was just best to get it over with now.

He looked towards his brothers’ blurry figures, a million different thoughts rushing his head. He couldn’t tell their expressions from this distance but they had to be smiling, right- ready to laugh at him any minute now. His body tensed as he braced himself for the harsh sting of their words.

“Mammon, we’re sorry,” Asmo was the first to speak up after a short moment of silence, “We love you so much even though we suck at showing it.”

“You did so much for us after we fell,- you still do a lot for us even now,” the seventh-born picked his head up from the table,“And I don’t think we ever told you how much we all appreciate it…. If it weren’t for you, I don’t even think we would still be a family… don’t forget, you’re the one who kept us all in line when Lucifer would lock himself away in his office back then.”

“I know we act like you’re just a burden to us,” Satan started, “but I think all of us would agree that life would be so boring without you here.”

“Yeah, I-I mean who else would take the time to play games with me when I’m down in the dumps?” Levi asked.

“Or risk getting strung up from the chandelier to get me the food that I want from the human world?” Beel cut in.

“Or compliment me on my outfit or hair no matter what form I choose to take for the day. Or is always there to hype me up when I’m having a bad day? Hell, you even gave up the position of DevilStyle’s cover model just for me! Honestly I think you might be the best big brother out there.”

“We know about all the things you’ve done in secret for us- the things you don’t take credit for,” Lucifer smiled softly, “I’m proud to call you my brother for that. We love you and while you may make some poor life choices from time to time, our lives just wouldn’t be the same without you.”

Mammon looks at them in a daze. Was this really happening? His brothers were…. Apologizing? To him of all people? This had to be a dream. There was no reality in which his brothers really cared about him. The second-born pinched the skin on his arm. That’s what you did to check if you were dreaming, right?

Harder, harder he pinched until the spot was sure to bruise. It wasn’t until Beelzebub placed his hand over his that Mammon realized he wasn’t dreaming. This was reality.

Tears welled in his eyes as he processed the words he just heard. One tear fell down his cheek soon followed by another then another until eventually the demon let out a sob.

“Th-This ain’t real! It ain’t!” The second-born yelled, his body shaking as he sobbed harder. “I’m still dreamin’. I-I gotta be! None of this is real…”

His brothers moved to embrace him- first the sixth-born, then the eldest and then the youngest. One by one, the rest of their brothers followed suit until the seven of them all somehow managed to end up on the floor in one giant cuddle pile, his face pressed into Lucifers as they allowed their brother to cry out all the tears he’d been bottling up for all these centuries.

It seemed they were going to be there a while- Good thing Lucifer had called Diavolo to tell him they wouldn’t be attending RAD today. That this was a more important matter to attend to.

“This stops today, Lucifer announced to his siblings once Mammon had stopped crying. “From today on, the six of us will make a conscious effort to change the ways we’ve talk to and treated you.”

“And if we get too out of hand, feel free to put us in our place,” Belphegor chuckled. “We can be blockheads from time to time.”

“The point is,” Asmodeus sighed as he hugged his brother a little tighter, “We all messed up big time. We just want to make you feel loved and appreciated again- like you’re an important part of this family.”

“We lost Lilith.” It was Beel’s turn to speak. “We’re not losing you too.”

Mammon smiled at his brothers’ words. Finally, he had thought, finally they were showing their true feelings to him after all these centuries.

“Thanks guys…..” the demon’s voice sounded cracked and strained from all the crying he had done earlier. “Even after everything that’s happened I wouldn’t trade y’all for the world. I love you guys.”

A chorus of ‘I love you too’s sounded from the group of demons as another family hug commenced. Eventually, as hours passed, one by one, they had all fallen asleep, each with a smile on their face and still huddled together.

Arella eventually found them in that state. With a soft smile she grabbed the blanket they often used for movie night and draped it over them heading back to her room so she wouldn’t disturb them.

———————————————————————-

Taglist: @gallantys

Masterlist 2

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sparkbeast20 · 3 years

Text

You’re my Treasure (Mammon X MC) Pt13

The Blue Lotus petals (series)

As a fan of Beauty X Beast pairing, Showing your “true self” to Lover or (Monster Love) Tropes. I figure to make a (More Demonic Forms AU/head canon) story for each brothers. Heads up each brother’s Story is long as fuck. So, I’ll be posting them as parts and finishing one brother before moving on to the rest of them.

(spoiler for lesson 1-60)

Pt1 Pt2 Pt3 Pt4 Pt5 Pt6 Pt7 Pt8 Pt9 Pt10 Pt11 Pt12

Warning: Swearing, Demonic nature, Suggestive content.

Previously

The two snap out of their feral state by Levi’s scream, they turn towards Levi and shock to what they saw.

“Leviathan!?!, put that book down now!!”

You felt like something is missing next to you. Confuse you try to search it with hand but all you can feel was coins and clothing. You open your eyes to see that Mammon was gone.

You push yourself up and look around to see at no one is in the cavern with you.

“Hello?” slowly got to your feet and wander towards the mouth of the cavern, then you heard a voice call out to you, startling you.

You look up to see Beel looking at you.

“Your awake!” He flew down and immediately engulf you in a bear hug. “We were so happy to find you and Mammon, we didn’t stop looking ever since you two left.”

That feeling again, just came back. The feeling of guilt.

“Sorry to make you all worried”

He chuckles and tells you that breakfast is ready, you nodded and quickly flew out of the cavern and landed near the campfire where everyone is there and greets you.

“Ah…. Good morning, I guess?” once Beel let you go, Asmo was the first one to pounce at you and start rubbing his face to yours as he dramatically starts sobbing. After a moment of fake crying pulled away and cup your face and squishing it. “Look at you, a week of no shower or bath. *Gasp* a week wouldn’t be enough fix you and not to mention all the lost time we have make up since you and Mammon vanish”

You felt your chest tight, just hearing anything about casino and “running away” you feel guilt building up. You want to change the subject.

“I know, I look like I came from a post-apocalyptic game” you were hoping for Levi to jump in, to make one of his game/anime references. But you met was a confuse look from Asmo and Beel. And a dull look from Belphie and doubtfully look from Satan.

“If you look for Levi, he not here. He and Lucifer followed Mammon to who’s knows where” Satan broke the awkward silence.

“Ugh, Mammon is in a bad mood this morning, all though he did lighten up when I mention that you were sleeping…...what have you two been doing for the past week” Asmo grins and playfully bounce his brows up and down. Clearly thinking some private thoughts that Belphie are not to please to hear this early in the morning, he glared at him to stop with the “Asmo speech” but the fifth just wave his hand at him to stop his feeble attempt to scare him.

“Asmo how could I do it with him, when his three times bigger, and that his…... I don’t know a crow monster!”

“You said that his “Three times” bigger. Then that means his- OW!?! Satan the fuck that was for!” Satan smack him at the back of the head to cut that discussion short. He hisses at Satan, who just flash a fake smile at him, you chuckle at the Fourth and Fifth interaction.

“Anyway, why was Mammon in a bad mood?”

“I was just cleaning tail feathers, when squawk at me. I was just trying to help him”

You couldn’t say it out loud but every time you ask Mammon about his brothers, he just stay silent and turn his head away from you, like he didn’t want to hear about them.

Its like before the week you to left, Mammon starts too distant himself from them. As if he was irritated to be in the same room with them.

You felt your hands turning colder, as your heart start to beat fast. The guilt is killing you; all this happen because of you.

“I’m sorry…... this all my fault.” All of them turn and look at with a confuse look on their face. Satan was the first one to asks.

“What do you Mean?”

“……Mammon wasn’t the one who want to go to the casino……. I was”

It was a quiet night at the house, too quiet Mammon wasn’t his cheerful attituded that night even though it was Saturday night he tends to be at the casino by this time but he wasn’t feeling it.

You were at the couch in his room, doing some reading about the demon king and his time ruling for a report you’re doing.

While Mammon is laying at his bed looking at the ceiling with both arms under his head.

“Maybe we can play with Levi, he said that there was devil kart update last week”

“Nah, I’m not in the mood video games right now” he sounds tired and uninterested like all the passion in him is gone.

“Mammon” call to him in low tone and a slight worried, stood up and walk over to the bed and sat next to him. “Are you okay, did Lucifer or the others~”

“No, its….” He tilts his head and landed his sight on you “I think, I’m losing interest in cards”

“What? But you’re the sin of greed how are you losing interest in cards?” he sat up and look at the table by the couch with a stack of playing cards on it

“I don’t know…… it does excite or thrill me like it use to, maybe it has to do of me being in a slump lately. I mean babe, I lose all the rounds last week and all my cash in my pocket…... I think I’m losing my spark”

He lay back down to bed and turn to face away from you, not knowing what to do.

You hate seeing him like this, somehow its Mammon depress like this, just crush your heart. He always lively cheerful, full of himself, cocky and arrogant that why you love him. Even he does stupid and dumb things for cash. He is the light of this house and his brothers they just don’t want to admit it.

Then suddenly you thought of something to help your boyfriend, you lay beside him and start kissing him on the back of his neck.

“Babe, I’m not in the mood for sex”

“Oh……... I’m just doing this to grab your attention” you said it in a playful tone.

He turns you and with a pout “What are you gettin’ at?”

“Well….” You start playing with his hair “I have a couple of friends back in the human world that was in same state as you are right now”

“Yeah…... yer point?”

“Their solution is to change it”

“Okay now, I’m more confuse”

“You been playing poker and other card games normal and/or cheating” he looks at you narrow bows and his pout is even more sour, and you just chuckle and ruffle his hair. “You got used to it, and eventually the game got dull. So, I should come and play with you and make things interesting”

“You don’t like gambling, I’m even surprise that yer dating me”

“You know why I choice you right!” he turns away to hide his blush.

“Get to the point” he’s getting fluster, you try your best not tease him any farther.

“Yeah, I don’t like gambling…… but people change their mind about things and I want you to teach me how” you can see his face change into something to what his usual expression is.

“Yer tell me, that ya want the great Mammon to teach ya how to play and win”

You pulled out a grimm out of your pocket and show it to Mammon “I want more of this to buy something” you said like you’re making a deal with a devil. And his liking it.

“Go on……” he fixes himself in a sitting position with his hand under chin as you continue on to all the things you want to buy and other activities that you can only do with grimms. The longer you go on, the cocky grin on his face grow. He loves this feeling you indulging in his sin, what he saw is a wave of aura that he is the only one can see, surround you and your pact mark glows.

But to you you’re just talking about thing you want to buy; you know Mammon just love listening to you talk about things like this.

After all of that, Mammon jumps off the bed and turn to face you with his chest puff up.

“We’re not sleepin’ tonight, cause baby I’m teach ya all the tricks and cheats of this. By this time tomorrow we’ll be swimmin’ in grimms”

You smiled back at him, happy to bring back his spirit again “Can’t wait”

“After that, we spend all night playing cards until I memorize all cards in the deck. And we spend the nights at casino after casino earn wins and having fun…... until the Basto thing happen”

“So, you let yourself get too greedy and try to cheat for the thrill” Satan said with a stern tone. All you can do is nodded and try not to cry.

“I though changing things up and making them more exciting for him, will help get out of his slump…. But I didn’t want him to get all the blame and blame himself for me getting hurt” you start to sob and let the tears fall as you hold the case which should be off of you by now close to your chest.

Satan sigh and crouch right Infront of you and start talking.

“That was stupid and reckless of you, to act like Mammon, knowing that you’re playing a dangerous with powerful demons for the thrills” you nod as Satan continues “But what’s done is done, once this all over you and I are going to have a long talk” Satan pause for a moment and grab your case arm and looked at it and saw the writing in gold ink.

“But you shouldn’t blame yourself for Mammon hating himself for you getting hurt” he taps the case and it broke apart surprising you as you bend your wrist feeling free from it.

“Because this is what you are to him” he grabs a piece of the case of the floor, he gently grabs your hand and place the case on it revealing the piece is with writing My Treasure with the scribble of a feather next to it.

Your eyes widen and you looked up to met Satan’s eyes, he smiled back at you.

“Mammon loves you, if guns work on demons, he would’ve jump Infront of the bullet for you without a second though. Mammon is dumb but…...” he trails off and wipe the tears of your cheek. “His heart is in the right place”

“Satan’s right” Asmo fixes your hair “We make of Mammon from time to time, because his easy to tease. That’s goes to Levi with his obsession with his hobby, Satan’s with cats” Asmo can feel Satan glaring at him. “Beel with his eating, and Belphie with his laziness” Asmo pause for a moment remembering all the time Mammon and he were clubbing, and how he teases him on winning you, and boasting about in that was the best out of the seven of them to choose to be with. Sure, he was jealous all of them are, but seeing him happy like that and happy being with you. He couldn’t to smile and be proud of Mammon.

“We all care and love him, even these heartless demons won’t say anything” Both Satan and Belphie frown and look away from Asmo, who he and Beel chuckle of their brothers attempt to hide their emotion.

“Thanks…. All of you, I feel so much better”

“I’m glad, now let’s eat”

“Yes” without hesitation Beel start stuffing his face with the food he and Asmo has been cooking

“Make sure you save some for the three, we wouldn’t want to be in their bad side, if they came back hungry and expecting food waiting for them.” Belphie tells the others, and thinking what taking the older brothers too long to get back.

#obey me #obey me mammon #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me reader x mammon #obey me monster love #obey me shall we date #obey me mc #obey me blue lotus petals

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jenonctcity · 4 years

Text

Art Of Innocence

The Virgin Series – Huang Renjun

Part of ‘The Virgin Diaries’ Series

Virgin!Au, University!Au, Bestfriend-Lovers!Au

Genre: Fluff, Smut, Angst.

Warnings: Explicit Sex, Very brief mentions of drug and alcohol, Loss of virginity.

Word Count: 11.8k

Summary: Art and gaming. That’s all Renjun found himself doing. Of course he spent time with his friends, but he had to be dragged away from his games console or easel first. Renjun had been brought up around art, his mother being an artist and his father being a drama teacher. So it wasn’t a shock to anyone when he decided to study art at university. His quiet, shy, nerdy nature meant that he didn’t get much attention when walking around campus, which is just how he liked it. You however, had found him on your first day of university and had stuck to him like glue. He pretended as if you didn’t mean that much to him, but you and him both knew he would be lost without you. Only, you didn’t know he was a virgin. So after you found out about the pact from one of the other boys, you couldn’t wait to intercept his gaming session and quiz him on his innocence. You couldn’t help it, but you suddenly saw him in a different light, one that had your fingers tingling and stomach flipping. The same way Renjun had felt looking at you since the first day he’d met you.

---

Meeting Renjun had been noteworthy. It isn’t every day that you find yourself a best friend upon your first meeting with someone, but with Renjun it had come very naturally. It had started when you’d tripped over the tiniest stick in existence, which you still have no idea how you did that, and had fallen straight into Renjun. It was very cliché, which is the exact reason you picked him to be your new best friend. He had been more than surprised when a beautiful girl he’d never met before flew into his arms and had face planted straight into his chest. After he’d gotten over his initial shock and had straightened you up onto your feet, he’d accepted the bumble of apologies that came flying out of your mouth and was ready to move on with his life. What he didn’t expect was for you to notice the Moomin keyring on his backpack and to spark up a conversation about it that seemed like it went on forever, with you repeating yourself and him just listening. Before he knew it, the two of you had walked around campus twice and he’d found out that your name is (Y/N) and you have a tendency to ramble on about random crap. But he liked to listen to your random crap, and he could see the beautiful friendship blossoming before his eyes.

So you and Renjun soon became close. You learnt his class schedule and forced him to learn yours, so that it was easier for the two of you to spend time together. At first, you had a feeling Renjun wasn’t overly keen on being your friend, but after a little while you just realised he had an attitude where he pretended he didn’t care about anything, since he would start waiting outside of your classroom for you to finish when you hadn’t even made plans with him. With Renjun, came his best friends. Jaemin, Jeno, and Donghyuck. You got on really well with them, but you only saw them when you went over to their shared apartment to see Renjun, or if they invited you to go to the classic American style diner down the road from their apartment. You also learnt a lot about his past. He was born in China but after his father got a job in Korea, they moved over when Renjun was eleven and they’d been there ever since. When you’d heard that his mother was a freelance artist and his father was a drama teacher, it made sense to you. Renjun was studying art and had a natural talent you can only assume was passed onto him from his parents.

You couldn’t even count the amount of times on both of your hands that Renjun had drawn you little pictures of random things. He was very generous with his art and even though you’d never asked him or expected him to draw or paint you anything, he loved to surprise you with a small painting of flowers or a sketch he’d done of you based purely off of his memory of your details and features. His art was hugely impressive, his people skills on the other hand, not so much. He was quiet, and he kept to himself, only spending time with you, or the boys. The more you got to know Renjun, the more you were surprised that he even let you cling to him like you did, but you never once thought that it could be because he formed a crush on you. From the moment that Renjun had laid eyes on you when you bumped into him, he had felt his heart jump on a rocket ship and take flight. He was so smitten for you, but he didn’t want you to notice, so he hid it well and preferred to show his affection towards you in subtle ways, like paying for your lunch, walking you back to your dorm, or drawing you a silly picture of a worm. Even after a year and a half of Renjun feeling that way, you however, had never really thought of Renjun in any other way other than platonic. Of course you thought he was beautiful; he was one of the most beautiful males you’d ever laid eyes on. He had deep brown eyes that sparkled in the sunlight, a cute little nose and a smile that made you want to pinch his cheeks and coo at him. Which the one time you did, his cheeks went so red that he whined for about half an hour that he was embarrassed.

You were more than happy that the apartment the boys lived in wasn’t too far from campus, it was only a ten minute walk if you picked up the pace and you could stop off at the convenience store on the way to buy snacks. Also it meant that you didn’t have to be in the cold January air for long, which was a bonus. With your backpack now heavier from the soda and snacks you bought, you knocked on their apartment door and waited patiently, rocking backwards and forwards on your feet. The door swung open and a smiley Donghyuck appeared behind the door.

“Hey (Y/N).” He opened the door wide enough for you to step in. You smiled back and quickly took your shoes off in the entrance.

“Hey Hyuck.” You neatly arranged your shoes by the door and pulled off your backpack and winter coat, hanging it up on the coat rack before shuffling through to the living room. As per usual, Renjun was nowhere in sight, but Jeno and Jaemin were sat on the sofas with their laptops on their laps with the tv showing old episodes of SpongeBob SquarePants. They both glanced up when you entered and smiled, Jaemin looking overly smug as he looked at you.

“Well hello (Y/N).” The Jaemin spoke had your eyebrows raising in question at his tone. It sounded like he knew something you didn’t and knowing Jaemin, it sent a shiver down your spine.

“Hello Jaemin…is Renjun in his room?”

“Yep.” You quickly rushed to Renjun’s bedroom, not bothering to knock on the door because you knew he wouldn’t hear you knock anyway. Upon entering you saw Renjun in his typical position. Sat in his gaming chair at his desk, playing some random game on his desktop with his gigantic headphones covering half of his head. “Hey Renjun!” You chirped, throwing yourself on his bed. He completely ignored you, too invested in his game to even notice that you’d entered his room. His eyes were glued to the screen and his mouth was popped open in his concentration. “Renjun…Renjun!” You raised your voice until eventually he turned his head, giving you a nod and a brief greeting as he moved his attention back to his game. “Seriously?” You sighed and rolled your eyes. “I’ll be in the living room.” You grumbled and walked out of his room, leaving the door open and making your way back to the living room.

“Hey, guess what.” Jaemin turned his attention to you as you entered the room again and sat yourself down in between him and Jeno.

“What?” You laid your head back against the sofa and tilted it towards Jaemin, getting relaxed and preparing yourself for the dumb thing he was probably about to say.

“So you know how Renjun is a virgin-”

“WHAT?!” You shot up, sitting bolt upright with a look that was a mix of shock and amusement on your face. Jaemin and Jeno both flinched at your loud voice, looking shocked themselves. Donghyuck let out a snigger across the room where he was sitting on his phone. “I mean I had a feeling he was a virgin, but he never told me! He always avoided the topic of girls whenever I brought it up.”

“Oh…anyway now you know,” Jaemin scratched the back of his head awkwardly, as if he’d just let out a big secret that he shouldn’t have. “So we have this little pact going, and since you’re a female and super close to Renjun, I thought you could help him out.” He grinned widely at you, closing his laptop and shifting all of his attention to you.

“I don’t like where this is going…” You narrowed your eyes in suspicion at him, having heard stories about Jaemin’s little schemes that didn’t end up going well and have caused plenty of stories you’re sure that the boys will be telling their grandchildren one day.

“It isn’t bad, don’t worry.” Jeno leaned over and mumbled to you. You let out a small sigh of relief but still held a little bit of suspense inside of you as you watch Jaemin.

“The pact is, we all have to lose our virginities before the end of the year-”

“You’re all virgins?” You titled your head in curiosity, actually quite shocked hearing that these four handsome boys were all virgins still. It was a big surprise to you that Donghyuck was a virgin, as you knew him to have the party boy reputation, and a party where everyone is making decisions under the influence of alcohol and other non-legal substances is an easy opportunity to lose your virginity.

“Yeah, anyway,” Jaemin shook his hand to try and grab your attention back to him as you looked around at the nodding boys. “Like I said, we have to lose our virginities before the end of 2020. You know Renjun really well and we all know how much of an introverted nerd he is-”

“That’s a bit harsh.” You interrupted Jaemin yet again, causing him to narrow his eyes at you. You sunk your head into your neck slightly and giggled. “Sorry, carry on.”

“Anyway,” He out a lot of emphasis on the word, giving you a wide-eyed look that almost dared you to interrupt him one more time. “He’s going to need a bit of help. He’s the only one we’re worried about finding someone to do the dirty with. So this is where you come in!” He patted your thigh and gave you a big, closed mouth grin. “You need to help him get his dick wet.” You felt a bit sad for Renjun. It made you sad that his best friends didn’t have confidence in his ability to get some, because you knew that if Renjun really put his mind to something, he could easily pull it off. Just because Renjun hadn’t had sex yet, doesn’t mean he’s incapable of it. And no, you’d never seen him flirt with anyone, or even lay eyes on another female, or…even show interest in another female…but that doesn’t mean he will struggle to fuck someone.

“He won’t need my help! The school year started two days ago and we’re less than a month into the new year, he has loads of time, there’s no rush.” You shrugged, sticking up for him as he wasn’t there to defend his own honour.

“Yeah we’re just saying that he might need a little…push in the right direction!” Jaemin was clearly only trying to help, so you didn’t get mad at him. Instead you rolled your eyes and patted Jaemin’s thigh.

“Let me handle it.” You pushed yourself up from the sofa and went back to Renjun’s room, rolling your eyes once more when you saw him sat in the exact same position as he was when you’d left the room. Instead of letting him ignore you though, you shut the door behind you, and marched up behind him. “Oi.” You lifted his headphones off of his head despite the little whine he let out. “I heard a little rumour about you Renjunnie.” You whispered in his ear, causing him to visibly shudder. He furrowed his eyebrows and turned off his game, spinning his chair around to face you as you perched on the end of his bed.

“A rumour? About what?” He tilted his head like a curious puppy, his knee bouncing which you had noticed he did as a little habit. One of the things you found endearing about Renjun was that he had a lot of little nervous habits. One of them was he fidgeted a lot, especially when the room was quiet but there was a lot of people surrounding him. Another one of his little habits was biting his nails, which you had reprimanded him for plenty of times, often by smacking his hand away from his face and giving him a glare.

“I heard from someone that you did some dirty dirty things at the new years party.” You winked at him, wondering if he would fall for your little story. You didn’t think it would be fun just to straight up tell him you knew about the pact and his very much still intact innocence, so instead you did what any best friend would do and wind him about it.

“Who said that?!” He frowned quickly, confusion settling over his features. He was wearing an oversized hoodie with matching sweatpants, and he looked far too cute and cosy to have a frown on his face. He slouched further into his seat and spread his legs out further, his habit of manspreading to the max still just as bad as it always was.

“A little birdie told me.” You smirked, putting your elbow on your thigh and leaning your head against your hand. You were trying really hard not to laugh, but Renjun hadn’t noticed that you were just teasing him yet. “Did you fuck someone again?” You titled your head, feigning innocence as his eyes squinted and he looked even more confused than before.

“Again? What on earth are you bumbling on about?” His cheeks were starting to pink up and that’s when you knew you had him where you wanted him.

“Well you’ve fucked someone before, haven’t you? So that would mean if you did it at the party then it would have been again! You following me?” You finished talking with a little giggle, biting your bottom lip to stop yourself from bursting out into full laughter.

“I-I…no I haven’t fucked anyone before. Whoever told you that was lying a-…no one told you a rumour, did they?” He raised an eyebrow as he caught onto your lie. He really did know you too well and he could see that you were holding in laughter. “You just wanted me to admit that I’m a virgin!” He stood up quickly and you gasped, knowing exactly what he was about to do. You quickly pushed yourself up the bed to try and escape from him.

“No Renjun I’m sorry no don’t tickle meeeee!” It was too late though, before you’d even finished your sentence, he had cornered you against the headboard of his single bed and had his hands digging into your sides.

“This is what you deserve!” He laughed, not bothered at all about being a virgin, so it didn’t bother him that you tried to amuse yourself with it. If it made you smile, Renjun would do take all the embarrassment in the world.

“Stooooooop!” You squealed, trying your hardest to push him away from you. He laughed with you, eventually relenting and removing his hands from you. He slapped your knee and sat beside you.

“That’s what you get for virgin shaming me.” He sniggered, bumping his shoulder into yours and crossing his arms in his lap. You didn’t notice the way he looked at you with a slight longing in his dark eyes. He yearned for your company; he was just too shy to tell you that all he wanted was for you to be cuddled up in his arms in times like this. He was too afraid to be rejected by you, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep the friendship alive; his awkwardness would play too much of a part and he wouldn’t be able to act like he normally did around you.

“I think it’s cute that you’re an innocent little bean!” You wrapped your arms around his shoulders from beside him and smiled up at him. “I bet you’ll be right kinky little fucker.” You sniggered, noticing how his cheeks went a dark red as he blushed. But he laughed with you despite his mouth popping open in shock. “Spank me daddy.” He gave you a gentle shove and flopped back on his bed, trying desperately to direct his thoughts in another direction at your vulgar saying. He didn’t have a daddy kink, well not that he knew of, but hearing you say something to erotic made his stomach spark up a fire he couldn’t control. He squeezed his eyes shut, taking a deep breath and letting out a sigh.

“Gross.” Was all he mumbled, throwing his arms over his face to hide his embarrassment. You looked down at Renjun and felt a strange feeling you’d never felt when you’d looked at him before. Of course you found him attractive, but you’d never found yourself attracted to him before. So why were you suddenly having thoughts about what he would look like with shirt off as you looked down at the soft, embarrassed boy. Luckily, he had his eyes shut and his arms over his face, so he couldn’t see your eyes trailing up and down his body.

“So, Jaemin told me about the pact you have with them. Who are you planning on seducing?” He gently removed his arms and popped open an eye to look at you, not missing the way you wiggled your eyebrows at him suggestively.

“I haven’t even thought about it yet.” He shrugged, slowly pushing himself to sit up. You glanced around his room, your eyes trailing over the PlayStation and Xbox connected to his desktop monitor that you’d seen hundreds of times, before moving to the easel in the corner of his room that had an unfinished painting of what you assumed was supposed to be abstract art, as you couldn’t make out what the hell he was painting. His room was super cramped from how much he’d crammed into the small space, but it was cosy, and you’d fallen asleep squished up against him on his single bed plenty of times when he was gaming and you were bored. You loved being in his room.

“Leave it with me big boy.” You winked, patting his thigh, and ignoring the strange feeling you got in your stomach and the small amount of contact.

---

“Okay, so I know you’ve probably been anticipating this all week, but I have finally finished my list of ways that you can dip your dick into some vagina okay?” Your uncouth way of speaking had Renjun cringing and lowering his head slightly as he sat opposite you in the Chinese restaurant. Even though you said it quietly, he still went bright red at the thought of someone around hearing you and he nearly choked on his chicken. It was also the way that you had brought it up at the first moment of silence between you two since you’d sat down in the restaurant. You’d previously been talking about how you thought apple music was far superior to spotify, and then after the conversation on that topic was over, you’d swooped straight in with the kill.

“I know you won’t shut up until you tell me, so go for it.” He didn’t voice it, but he hoped that you would be subtle with whatever you had concocted in your own time. You put down your chopsticks to grab your phone out of your bag, quickly opening up your notes and clearing your throat.

“Option number one, go to a party with Donghyuck and find a lovely sober lady to take home.” You had a small nagging feeling in your stomach that was telling you he hoped you said no to all of the things on your list, and you couldn’t tell why you felt that way. He wrinkled up his nose and shook his head quickly.

“I don’t do parties; New Year’s Eve was a one off because it was the turn of the year and Jeno told me if I didn’t go then he’d throw all of my boxers off of the roof.” He said that with a serious look on his face, while you let out a quick laugh at the thought of Jeno doing that to his boxers.

“Okay…that doesn’t sound like something Jen would do though?” You titled your head in curiosity. Jaemin? Of course he would threaten to do that. Donghyuck? Also highly likely. Jeno? Nope. That doesn’t sound like something mellow, go with the flow, and responsible Jeno would do.

“He was already drunk off of wine.” Renjun shrugged, taking a sip of his water, and helping himself to the noodles between you both that you were sharing.

“Oh, wine drunk, okay that makes sense.” You nodded in understanding of Jeno’s actions now, placing your phone on the table so that you could go back to eating. You shoved some rice into your mouth and then read out the next option.

“Option number two, I can set you up with that gamer girl in my class. She’s a bit…out there! But that can be a good thing you know; she’ll probably tie you up and ride you over the rainbow.” You smiled at him as if the more you smiled at him, the more likely it would be for him to say yes. Sometimes you couldn’t help the words that tumbled out off your mouth, and after you heard them in your head after they’d been verbally spoken, you cringed. This was one of those moments. Especially when Renjun paused his chewing and gave you a look that was a mix of confusion and being grossed out. “I’ll take that as a no.” You cleared your throat and deleted option number one and two from your phone.

“How many options are there?” He moved his attention back to his food, leaning forward slightly as he shovelled more food into his mouth in an attempt to avoid commenting on your options.

“Four.”

“It took you an entire week and you only came up with four?!” His eyes flicked back to you in surprise.

“I forgot until this morning all right.” You mumbled and rolled your eyes at your own forgetfulness. “Moving on. Number three, you sign up to tinder.” The thought of Renjun signing up to tinder made you want to laugh but puke at the same time. Laugh because the poor boy had no idea how to flirt, and you could see him as the cringey boy who sent a strange pick up line or commented on something in one of the girl’s pictures. Puke because you didn’t want him to go on a date with some random girl you probably didn’t know. Again, confusion swirled around your head, because you’d never felt like that before, mainly because you’d never had any thoughts of Renjun dating since it wasn’t anything he’d ever done since you’d been his friend. Knocking that thought out of your head you cleared watched his face as he turned his nose up to option number three.

“Nope.” Shaking his head and drinking his water again, he wasn’t prepared for your fourth option.

“Fine! Final option, you make a decent amount from selling your work online, right? Hire a hooker!” He choked on his water at how nonchalantly you spoke those words, coughing and trying to catch his breath without causing other people to look over at you both. “Woah you okay buddy?” You giggled nervously and widened your eyes slightly. “Have a sip of water!” You pushed your own cup towards him and watched as his face went completely red.

“You’re insane.” He grunts out with a groggy sounding throat when his coughing fit had finished, quickly sipping at the water from your cup. “I’m not doing that.”

“Well then have fun finding someone to lose your purity too Mr I’m too good for (Y/N)’s ideas.” You folded your arms over your chest and shrugged, faking offense that he didn’t like any of your ideas. “Don’t say I didn’t try to help.”

“Your ideas sucked.” His words came out in a blunt way, which is what you should have expected since Renjun had never been shy about telling you things the way he saw them.

“Whatever, the only other option I can think of is to just fuck me and get it over with.” You pouted, sulking that he didn’t like your admittedly awful ideas. You did it again, you opened your mouth without thinking and even you were shocked at your own suggestion. Your eyes slowly widened as you thought it through in your head. You didn’t know if you even wanted to go there with Renjun, sleeping with someone is a big step for anyone, especially when they’re your best friend, but there was a small burst of butterflies setting off in your stomach at the thought of it. Renjun looked as if his brain was short circuiting, and his mouth opened and closed as he tried to form the right words to reply to you with. A strange awkward cloud settled over the table, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to take the offer back.

“No, I couldn’t.” He shook his head, gulping as he put the water back on the table, letting his eyes wonder everywhere but at you, causing him to miss the way you visibly deflated at his rejection. He didn’t want to just fuck you, no matter how much he longed to have you writhing underneath him, naked and basking in the glory of his affection. He wanted to hold your hand, give you soft, tender kisses that proved how much you had his heart. He wanted to make love to you and wake up the next morning with the certainty that you were his, and the only person who felt your love was him. So no, he couldn’t just fuck you and get it over with. You looked down at your plate, awkwardly pursing your lips as you wallowed in self pity at Renjun’s rejection. Did he not find you attractive? Did he not like you enough to do that? Did he simply not want to ruin your friendship? You didn’t know, and you were too busy feeling sorry for yourself that you didn’t bother asking.

“Okay cool.” You shrugged, sitting opposite him with a sad look on your face for the rest of the meal, even though it didn’t last long as Renjun hurried to pay the bill, despite your whining that you were going to pay. You both left and instead of going back to Renjun’s apartment like you had originally planned, you told him you were tired and promptly walked in the opposite direction to go back to your dorm on campus.

Renjun groaned as he watched you walk away, feeling bad about the way he had just shot you down without even offering you an explanation for why he didn’t want to have sex with you. But he didn’t have it in him just yet to tell you how he really felt for you, too scared that it would either scare you off, or cause you to feel awkward because you didn’t feel the same way as him. Either way, he knew he was screwed.

---

After a week of punishing Renjun for hurting your feelings, you finally decided it was time to relieve him of your absence. You weren’t so harsh as to completely ignore him, but your texts had been vague, and you had simply told him that you were busy whenever he asked you to hang out. You had a feeling that he knew you were upset, because he didn’t wait outside of your class on a Wednesday afternoon like he did every week, and you knew Renjun well enough to know it was because he was giving you your space. He knew you’d go to him when you were ready. Which is the exact reason you were stood in his doorway, staring at his side profile because as per usual, he hadn’t noticed your arrival, too engrossed in playing call of duty on his Xbox with his headset on. Jeno had let you into the apartment with a kind smile, telling you that Renjun had been whining about missing you all week. You were thankful that Jeno went behind Renjun’s back to tell you that, because it was just more confirmation for you that he did in fact like you and wasn’t just using you as someone to hang out with. You did feel silly for feeling that way, but in the moment of being hurt, you couldn’t help but let your mind drift over to the negative side of thoughts.

You approached him without warning, not noticing as his eyes flicked up to look at you in completely surprise at your sudden appearance. He quickly remembered that he was in the middle of a war and went back to looking at his screen, trying not to make it obvious that his heart was pounding so hard in his chest that he was sure it was visible. You swung one of your legs over his, putting your hands on his shoulders and struggling to sit yourself down. He let go of his controller with one hand and helped you onto his lap, his breath held from how close you were as you snuggled your head into his neck, wrapping your arms around his body and his gaming chair. He wrapped his arms around you, holding his controller behind your back and playing the game over your shoulder. This was the first time that you had wiggled your way into his hold when he was playing his games on his gaming chair, so he was beyond surprised, but elated at how warm you felt cuddled up to him. He held you tightly whilst shooting at random people’s characters on the game, completely silent instead of swearing when his own character was shot.

“You’ve been avoiding me.” He mumbled, trying to pretend like it hadn’t affected him. But your absence had his heart yearning for you even more. You just hummed in confirmation at his statement, your hot breath against his neck almost making him sweat from how nervous he was getting at having you where he wanted you. Ever since you’d stumbled into his life, he had wanted to hold you like this whilst he played his video games, loving how it gave you attention and kept you close, whilst he still got to play his games. As you clung onto Renjun, you came to a realisation that you could happily get used to this. It felt strange. You’d never had feelings like this towards him, but as he held you in his arms you came to realise that you were starting to get feelings for him. You knew that it was dangerous. Everyone always says to never fall in love with your best friend, but sometimes you don’t even realise that you’re falling down that slippery slope until you’re already in the deep end.

You heard Renjun put his controller down on the desk behind you before removing his headset, your heart starting to pound as he placed both of his hands underneath your thighs. You gripped onto him tighter as he stood up from his chair with you in his hold. You buried your face into his neck more, smiling to yourself because you assumed he was going to put you on the bed so that you could talk about things. You desperately wanted to ask him why he said he couldn’t fuck you, but at the same time you were scared that you’d hear something you didn’t want to hear, something that would put out the fire of feelings inside your stomach like a bucket of ice cold water. Maybe if things went right you could tell him that you were starting to develop feelings for him, so that the two of you could get control of this situation quickly before anyone got hurt. You also knew that if you stayed quiet about your growing feelings for Renjun and he went and fucked someone else, then you’d be gutted.

Renjun placed you on the edge of his bed and then let go of your thighs, he tried to pull away, but you had a tight grip on him. He moved his hands up and pried your arms away from around his shoulders. He smiled at you softly, reaching out a hand and ruffling your hair before sitting himself back down in his gaming chair. He put his headset back on and picked his controller back up, taking a deep breath to try and steady his heart from how quick it had been pounding when he was touching you. He gulped, fidgeting around in his chair and turning it away from you slightly so that you couldn’t see him as well.

You narrowed your eyes at him, gulping down the pang of hurt you felt at him removing you from his lap and just dumping you on his bed. Not only that, he then went back to playing his game and ignoring you. No boy that liked you in the way you liked them would do that, you thought, quickly standing up and marching out of his bedroom with a scowl on your face. You didn’t even bother to say goodbye to Jeno as you rushed past him, not wanting him to see the tears that were flooding your vision. You weren’t hurt at the realisation that he might not like you in anyway other than platonic, you were hurt that he just brushed you aside and acted as if his games meant more to him than his best friend.

As soon as you got home you muted all his contact on all of your social medias so that you wouldn’t see if he messaged you or not, and then you laid on your bed and sulked, wishing you had an Xbox so you could go on call of duty and kill his character as a way of getting back at him. It was petty, but it was an oddly satisfying way of getting back at him in your mind.

---

It had been another week. You weren’t sure why you were leaving it a week each time before you gave in and let Renjun have his chance of redemption, but it felt like a good amount of time for you to calm down about what had happened. You had cleared your head, focusing on your studying instead of dwelling on your feelings for Renjun, which had stupidly grown over the week. You cursed the first person to claim that distance makes the heart grow fonder, because now you knew first-hand that that statement was correct. You hadn’t read any of the messages you’d received off of Renjun. Not only had he texted you, but he’d sent you snapchats, facebook messaged you, and even came over to your dorm to try and get your attention. When you hadn’t answered the door, he’d slipped a piece of paper underneath your door. It was a cartoon drawing of himself with a speech bubble saying ‘I miss you, I’m sorry for whatever I did’, which annoyed you even more despite how cute it was, because he clearly couldn’t see what he’d done wrong. But you just ignored all of his efforts, wanting him to realise that he had hurt your feelings and you weren’t prepared to just let it go this time. He didn’t get to throw you aside and choose his games over you. Best friend or not, that was super rude in your eyes.

You blamed this stupid pact that the boys had. If they’d never made the pact, then you wouldn’t have been dragged into helping him lose his virginity, then you would have never realised your feelings for him, and things would be how they used to be. But still, things could have ended worse if you hadn’t realised your feelings until after he’d given his innocence away to someone else. Anyway that you looked at it, you just felt like you were stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Renjun had yet to notice you, yet again, as you stood in his doorway with a determined look in your eyes. You knew what you were about to do was stupid. Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid. Yet you knew it would get you the answers that you need to clear your head, and hopefully it would make Renjun realise that you deserved his attention more than his stupid games consoles.

You quickly walked over to him after carefully shutting his door. He didn’t notice you until you were climbing into his lap, his body flinching from how startled he was to suddenly have someone climbing on him. He gulped, just letting you climb onto him, not needing to help you as you moved his limbs around until you were perched in his lap, staring at his face with a slightly worried look on your face. You had all of his attention, his arms tightly around you with both of his hands gripping the controller of his playstation behind your back. All he could hear was the sound of war going on through his headset, because his eyes were now on your eyes, watching them as they scanned his own face. You reached up and slipped his headset from his ears, placing them on his desk before grabbing his face in your palms. He gulped, his lips parting as he tried to find some words, but even a simple hello wouldn’t come out of his mouth. He wasn’t sure where he stood with you. The last thing he knew he was in your bad books, but here you are, sat on his lap with has face in your grip.

His eyes widened when your lips planted themselves on his own. His controller fell out of his hands and tumbled to the floor with a clatter, but he placed his hands on your hips slowly and let his eyes flutter shut. His heart was pounding as he realised that the girl he was head over heels for was kissing him. You had a tight hold on Renjun’s face so that he couldn’t feel your hands shaking, but not tight enough that he couldn’t pull away if he wanted to. Your lips moved slowly against his, and to your relief, he moved his lips in time with yours. The kiss wasn’t perfect, but after you found your rhythm with each other, your lips slotted together like puzzle pieces. You pulled away slightly, your lips now resting less than a centimetre away from his as you tried to steady your breathing. Renjun opened his eyes a slither and stared at your lips, gulping in nervousness before placing a lingering kiss to them once more. Your heart almost burst. That small kiss from Renjun had more of an impact on you than the big kiss you had planted on his lips, because he had initiated that kiss, which meant he wanted to kiss you.

“I’m sorry for whatever I did.” He whispered, his thumbs stroking against the material of your hoodie, his touch feeling warm even through the thick fabric. You sighed and pulled your head further away, opening your eyes and looking him in the eyes.

“You can’t even see what you did wrong Renjun, how can you be sorry?” You slowly let your hands trail from his face to rest lightly on his shoulders. He looked taken aback, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to think of the right words to say to you.

“Because whatever I did hurt your feelings…what did I do?” He tilted his head slightly, his eyebrows furrowing as he tried to rack his brain for the part where he went wrong. His cute expression had your heart soaring, and you were finding it really hard to be mad at him. You were feeling a bit more at ease though, as Renjun had accepted your kiss and had kissed you on his own accord, which in your head must mean that he has some kind of feelings for you.

“We were cuddling, and then you just tossed me aside on your bed and went back to your games, you even turned your back towards me…that hurt my feelings Renjun…you were more interested in your stupid games than you were about me.” You felt slightly silly saying it, especially since your bottom lip naturally pouted itself out like you were a sulking child, but you were glad you got the opportunity to express your feelings to him so that hopefully the two of you could clear the air.

You didn’t miss the way that Renjun’s face went bright red in less than ten seconds, his eyes momentarily widening before he groaned, letting his head roll back as he stared at the ceiling. You raised an eyebrow in confusion at his reaction to your words. He huffed a laugh that turned into a whine, and he raised his head up again, his fluffy brown hair flopping back on his forehead perfectly in place. His face was still burning red and his grip on your hips tightened. “I…oh fuck this is embarrassing…”

“What is?” You titled your head at him, noticing how his adams apple bobbed as he gulped in embarrassment.

“I didn’t remove you from my lap because I wanted to play the games instead of cuddle you. I put you on the bed because you were making…” He took another deep breath and then quickly exhaled and carried on. “You were making me hard, and I didn’t want you to notice. So I moved you and then turned away so you couldn’t see my crotch.” He hands slowly trailed down to your lower back, his fingers lifting up the hem of your hoodie so that his hands were pressed against the warmth of your bare skin. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings; I just didn’t want you to know that I got hard from you sitting on my lap whilst I was playing my games. It was really hot, and I like you a lot, so I panicked and…yeah.” He cut off his own rambling to look at you which he had previously been avoiding as he was explaining his motives to you. Your mouth popped open in complete and utter shock. Of all the reasons why Renjun had done what he’d done you’d made in your head, that was not on the list.

“Y-you like me?” You stuttered out, gulping yourself to get rid of the small lump of emotion forming in your throat. He smiled timidly, nodding his head to confirm your question. “I like you too…oh my god…this is crazy but like…in a good way!” You were struggling to find words, so you simply leaned in and kissed him again, wanting to feel his soft lips on your again. He returned the kiss, basking in the feeling of finally having your warm lips slotted between his own, a fuzzy feeling that felt natural blossoming inside of his chest. The kiss confirmed to you that you did have strong feelings towards your best friend, and you were thankful that you did, because you loved everything about Renjun. Even if he was addicted to gaming and was clearly bad at expressing his feelings. You’d only known about your feelings for him for about two weeks, but they’d been there a lot longer than that, sitting at the back of your heart and waiting for the perfect time to attack you. You wondered when Renjun had come to terms with the fact he had feelings for you. But asking him meant that you’d have to pull your lips away from his, which was out of the question for you. Renjun stopped kissing you, but didn’t drag his lips away far, letting them linger against yours, brushing them with yours as if he couldn’t quite believe that they were there.

“You’ve had sex before, haven’t you?” His voice was barely audible, and you smiled against his lips, placing a very tender peck to his glistening, pouted lips. It hadn’t taken Renjun long to start getting hard, his bulge brushing against your crotch as you shuffled closer to him on his lap, a gasp caught in your throat as you answered him.

“Twice.” You whispered back, your stomach erupting in butterflies as you rocked your hips on him, confirming your suspicions that he did in fact have a hard on. Renjun gulped, his cheeks flaring up as he thought his next words over a few times.

“Wanna make it a third?” Your mouth popped open and you stared at him, completely gobsmacked. Renjun bit his bottom lip, his stomach turning as he thought that maybe he’d said the wrong thing. He thought he’d blown it with you before he even got a chance to really start it. Until you let out a laugh through your open mouth, your eyebrows still raised.

“Huang Renjun! That was so smooth! I’m so proud of you.” You leaned in, licking into his mouth and cupping his face in your hands. He held back the sigh of relief he wanted to let out, instead breathing out of his nose slowly and standing up quickly with you in his grasp, much like he had done the week before. But instead of dumping you on the bed and just going back to his games, instead he threw you down onto his bed and crawled over you, settling his body down on yours gently and bringing his lips back to yours. You were beyond shock at the surprise confidence that was suddenly rushing through Renjun. The normally shy, quiet, and reluctant boy was taking complete control of the situation despite the fact he’d never done this before. You felt pride, and you’d be sure to give him a reward for his courage later on.

You gripped at the back of his t-shirt, bunching the cotton in your hands as you trailed your hands up his back, your lips still locked with his even as you got the shirt to the back of his neck. He pulled away, sitting up on his knees to pull his shirt over his head and tossing it aside. You bit your bottom lip as you trailed your hands down his chest to his abdomen, your eyes following your hands as you admired his body. You had no idea how he managed to stay so fit considering all he did was play games, do art, and eat junk food, but he had an impressive body. You let your fingers fiddle with the buttons on his jeans as you lick your lips, moving your eyes back up his body and seeing that his eyes were locked on your face, his bottom lip stuck between his teeth.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered, leaning down and kissing your cheek gently. “I’ve wanted this for a long time.” You noticed his adams apple bob as he gulped, and then all of a sudden he just completely froze, his eyes still as he looked down at you.

“Renjun…?” You sat up in concern, taking his face in your palms and stroking your thumbs against his hot cheeks. “Are you alright?” You pecked his parted lips slowly, letting your lips linger as your thumbs worked small circles on his smooth skin. He cleared his throat, snapping out of his daze and nodding his head.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine I just…what if I’m no good?” His voice was small, and his hands came to rest on your hips. You smiled, holding in your giggle as you dipped your head down to kiss at his throat, swirling your tongue around the spot that you then attached your lips to.

“No ones a porn star on their first attempt, and you know that I won’t judge you anyway.” He seemed to relaxed under your touch and then his hands pushed against you, forcing you to lay back down on the bed.

“Tell me what to do.” He whispered, his cheeks a vibrant red as he stared down at you waiting for instructions. You bit your bottom lip, knowing you had him completely under your thumb, but you didn’t want to push him too far and ruin it for him.

“How about I give you some options and you pick whichever one you want to do?” He nodded quickly in agreement, a small smirk playing on his lips that were a light red from how much you’d kissed them. “Hang on.” You sat up again and pulled your sweater over your head, throwing it on the floor with Renjun’s t-shirt and trying not to smirk at how wide his eyes went when his eyes zoned in on your bra. “You can touch them.” He didn’t need anymore prompting, his hands quickly trailing from your hips to your breast, his hands cupping them and giving them a small squeeze.

“Wow…” He whispered in awe, licking his lips, and bumping his bulge against your crotch to try and get some friction to his growing cock.

“Okay so these are the options, first of all, do you want to do foreplay or just jump straight in?” You didn’t know if he could last until the actual fucking if you did foreplay, but you really hoped he said he wanted the foreplay.

“I want to do foreplay…can I eat you out…please?” You raised your eyebrows as he had clearly picked which foreplay he wanted before you even managed to give him his options.

“Since you asked so nicely.” You bit your bottom lip, watching his every move as he shuffled down the bed, laying on his stomach with his legs hanging off the end of the bed. You leaned forward and unclipped your bra, pulling it from your chest and playfully throwing it onto Renjun’s head. He paused as he laughed softly, your bra covering his vision momentarily until he threw it on the floor. His tongue ran over his lips when he saw your boobs for the first time.

“Wow.” He whispered in awe, shuffling back up the bed and hovering over your body. “Can I?” He swallowed the saliva that had pooled in his mouth from his mouth watering at the sight of your chest.

“You haven’t got to ask for anything Renjun, if you want to do something, do it.” He made eye contact with you, a small smile playing on his lips as he nodded in understanding. His tongue poked out and flicked over your left nipple, his eyes closing briefly as he swirled the wet appendage around the hard nub, covering it with a thin coat of his spit. His lips encased your nipple, sucking it until his mouth like it was going to give him something in return. Your breath left your lungs at the spark that rushed through your body, his tongue still working on your nipple even as he sucked. He reached up and pinched your right nipple gently with his hand, rolling it between his thumb and forefinger before flicking it quickly. You knew he’d seen this in porn, otherwise he wouldn’t have done it with such confidence. Even though porn wasn’t the best educational way to learn how to fuck, you thanked it in this moment, because it was really paying off. You ran your hands through his hair, gripping it tightly and pushing his head south softly, trying to hint that you want him to use his tongue where you needed it the most.

He seemed reluctant to let go of your nipple, but he did in the end, releasing it with a pop and licking down your stomach, pressing kisses along the way until he came to the waistband of your leggings. He glanced up at you with questioning eyes, you nodded as encouragement and then felt his fingers slowly peel the waistband down your legs. “Fuck.” He mumbled upon seeing your blue lace panties. He had the picture engraved forever in his brain and he knew later on he would have a good attempt at drawing what he’d seen. But the drawings would be for his eyes only, and maybe yours depending on how well they resembled you.

You didn’t want to rush him so just watched as he pulled your leggings off of your legs, pulling your socks off with them and placing a soft kiss to your left ankle. He swooped down after tenderly placing your legs over his shoulders, getting himself comfortable on the bed with his face in front of your spread legs. He leaned in, dragging his tongue from your hole to your clit over the top of your panties. His eyes flicked up at you, watching as you took in a sharp inhale of breath, your own eyes locked on him with your mouth parted. He slowly rubbed you over your panties with two of his fingers, his bottom lip tucked between his teeth as he concentrated hard, also slightly in disbelief that he was doing this to you of all people.

“Take them off.” You breathed out, feeling like the material was suffocating you in your want, your need. He wasted no time in complying to your demand, tugging them down your legs and leaving them to lay beside him on the bed. His eyes widened at how your pussy was glistening with slick, and a sense of pride washed over him because he knew that he caused it.

“Shit.” He mumbled, not thinking about his actions before diving his tongue in between your folds, lapping at you like you were a melting ice cream in the summer heat. “Oh fuck.” Your head flopped backwards onto his pillow as he messily ate you out, his tongue travelling up and down, round and round, visiting your clit before meandering back down to dip inside of your leaking hole. “Use your fingers.” Your back arched when he cautiously slid his middle finger inside of you, his hips subconsciously grinding into the bed to release some of the pressure on his hard cock.

“Like this?” He pumped it in and out of you, his tongue pushing against your sensitive clit at the same time.

“Yes! Fuck another!” You didn’t realise how loud you were being, but Renjun wasn’t about to tell you, his pride in what he was doing clouding his mind to the point where he didn’t care who heard. He slid his ring finger in beside his middle finger, sitting up on his knees and leaning down to connect his lips to yours, his tongue clashing against yours in a heated kiss as his fingers pumped in and out of you. He moved to lay beside you, your feet planted on the bed and his lips now on your neck as he worked magic with his fingers. If you weren’t so lost in the feeling his was bringing down on you, you would question whether or not he was really a virgin, because he was making you feel so good with truly little instruction. “Jun stop, I’m gonna cum if you don’t.” You grabbed his wrist, your chest rising and falling fast as you tried to catch your breath and steady the rhythm of your heart. He halted his actions and leaned in, pecking your lips quickly.

“Was it good?” He shyly asked, a small smirk tugging at the corners of his lips as he withdrew his fingers from you, examining the juices coating his fingers and palm, a small bead dribbling down his wrist. You nodded, not being able to speak properly just yet as you tried to will your orgasm back into its hiding spot. “You’re so wet.” He whispered in surprise, his eyes then going back down to your face. “Can I fuck you now?” He was beyond horny, the pressure in his crotch area almost hurting as he used his fingers to pop open the button on his jeans, sliding down the zipper and diving his wet hand inside his boxers to squeeze at his erection.

“Please…wait don’t you want me to suck you off?” You felt bad at not giving what you’d received, but Renjun sat up on his knees again, positioning himself between your legs.

“If you touch my dick I will cum, and I want to cum inside of you.” He quickly rose from the bed, turning his back from you as he went to his desk, opening up a drawer and pulling out a silver packet. He pulled his jeans and boxers down in one swift motion, his back still turned away from you so you didn’t get to see his cock yet. He rolled the condom on his length, taking a deep breath to try and compose himself as he pumped himself a few times. He then turned around, trying not to cower underneath your sultry gaze that soon fell from his face to his cock. You knew he was nervous, and he was still your best friend, so you winked at him.

“Nice cock.” You spread your legs wider as a silent invite for him.

“Thanks.” He chuckled, his face beet red and his hair looking like a bird’s nest from how your fingers had ruffled through it. He clambered onto the bed, moving so that he was hovering over you with his left hand planted on the bed next to your neck. He used his right hand to grip at his shaft. “I love you.” He whispered, leaning down and placing a kiss so sweet to your lips that you almost melted through his bed. You heart felt like it was swelling up in your chest as you wrapped your arms around his neck, keeping his lips close to yours.

“Love you too Renjunnie.” You whispered back; your words mumbled into his lips as he guided his cock inside of you slowly. He paused halfway, taking a deep breath, and then exhaling through his nose to try and compose himself. Once he was fully inside of you he leaned down and tucked head into the crook of your neck, laying gentle butterfly kisses to your skin, breathing in your scent and waiting for you both to adjust.

After a minute he gently pulled his hips back, then pushed them against you again, his cock sliding in and out of you in a steady but gradual rhythm. He groaned into your neck, feeling an unimaginable amount of pleasure buried in your warm, wet walls. He’d jerked off a lot of times throughout his years, but that felt like nothing compared to how you felt around him. His cock felt so snug inside of you, like you were made to fit him inside. You panted, closing your eyes and wrapping your legs around him, your hands moving from his neck to grip at his hair once again, tugging it softly to cope with the pleasure you felt every time his cock would push back into you.

His hips sped up, the sound of skin slapping against skin resonating around the room as you started to lose control of your vocal chords, your mouth spilling moans as you bucked your hips up into his, looking for more even if what he was giving you was more than enough. “(Y/N), fuck baby girl.” He moaned loudly, pushing up onto his arms so he was staring down at you, his eyes boring into yours as his hips moved at a different angle, hitting a new spot inside of you that had your eyes almost rolling into the back of your head. “I can’t hold on much longer.” You were happy he was admitting it so that you didn’t hold back on your own orgasm, wanting to cum around his pulsating cock inside of you. The dirty thought had your back arching, your hands moving from his body to grip at the sheets of his bed, looking for something to squeeze as the pressure you felt building up inside of you was so astronomical you felt like you were going to burst. His thrusts became sloppy as his peak came closer, sitting back on his heels more and gripping at your hips tightly.

“Renjun harder!” You squealed, your thighs quivering and toes curling as he delivered three hard thrusts that had you moaning out loudly, your orgasm crashing into you like a wave of lava consuming your body. You were actually surprised that he’d managed to make you cum before he did, considering he was the virgin and you knew it was rare for you to climax so fast. There was just something about Renjun that had your nerves on fire, your body reacting to him like nothing you’d ever felt before. He stilled completely, his fingers digging into you so hard you were certain they’d leave little sore spots where fingertip shaped bruises would arise. He stomach flexed as he came into the condom, the feeling of your walls squeezing his cock being enough to force him over the edge. He grinded his hips into you a few more times, slowly as he head fell back onto his shoulders, his hair sticking to his forehead and his mouth parted as he tried to regain his regular breathing.

“Fuuuuck.” He groaned, slowly coming back to live on your world again and looking down at you with lazy, half closed eyes. He had a dopey smile on his face that told you he was still on cloud nine, and then reluctantly he pulled out of you, flopping onto his back beside you on the small bed, your shoulders pressed firmly against his. You had recovered from your orgasm, watching him as his eyes slowly closed and struggled to reopen.

“Hey,” You whispered, rolling onto your side and leaning up on one of your arms. “We need to clean up.” You placed a gentle peck on his still parted lips. He groaned, giving his head a small shake. You rolled your eyes and sat up, letting him get away with being lazy since he’d just lost his virginity, but next time you weren’t going to let him get away with it. “Fine.” You slowly stood up, wobbling slightly on your legs and having to grip onto his bedside table for stability for a moment. You grabbed some tissues and wiped yourself off your own mess, discarding of them before grabbing more tissues and wiping Renjun clean of any mess, also removing the condom and throwing it into his waste bin. By the time you’d finished cleaning the two of you up, you noticed that Renjun was completely dead to the world, his chest moving slowly as he slept. You rolled your eyes and giggled, pulling a blanket over the top of his naked body, and kissing his forehead affectionately. You pulled on your bra and panties, throwing on the biggest t-shirt of Renjun’s that you could find in his wardrobe before leaving the room quietly, shutting the door gently to not disturb him.

You walked out into the living room, on your way to the kitchen to get yourself a drink when you came across the wide eyed, shocked, yet oddly smug faces of three boys, staring directly at you. You froze, a guilty smile on your face because you completely forgot that Renjun shared the apartment with his best friends. You also thought about how you must have looked, your hair a mess and your skin still slightly glistening from the sweat you’d accumulated from fucking Renjun.

“Hi…” You broke the silence, slowly shuffling towards the kitchen but keeping your eyes on them. It was Jaemin who spoke up first.

“You know, when I said you needed to help him get his dick wet, I didn’t mean for you to be the one who wet it…” Jeno slapped Jaemin on the shoulder for that remark, but you sniggered and bit your bottom lip, your cheeks heating up as you realised that they must have heard most, if not all of what you’d done.

“You should have been more specific Jaems.” You shrugged, walking off to the kitchen and leaving them to talk amongst themselves.

---

“What’s bothering you Renjun?” You’d been sat with him at the local diner, a bowl of nachos in between you both but Renjun had hardly touched them, instead fiddling with a napkin, and avoiding your gaze. Renjun glanced up and gave you a small smile, picking up the milkshake that you were both sharing and taking a sip of it through the straw. You’d spent the night with Renjun, sleeping on his chest on his small bed and cuddling him all night. You felt like you were living on a magical cloud and no one could bring you down. You’d also spent the morning with him, and he’d been strangely quiet, just cuddling with you on his bed and watching Netflix until your stomach rumbled and he dressed you in some of his clothes and marched you down to the diner.

“Nothing is.” He shrugged but you knew he was lying, his eyes still avoiding your own. You knew him too well though, so you knew that something was definitely playing on his mind.

“Is it because we fucked last night?” Renjun nearly choked on the nacho that he’d put in his mouth as an attempt to distract you from thinking something was wrong with him. You smirked, seeing that you’d got it right on the mark. “Do you regret it?” You gently rubbed your foot against his own as you sat opposite him in the booth.

“No!” His eyes widened as he hurried to reassure you that he didn’t regret what happened. “Babe no, I loved it, it was amazing…I just…” He trailed off, taking a deep breath, and running a hand through his hair nervously.

“What is it?” You gave him a smile of encouragement, hoping he wasn’t about to tell you that he didn’t want to do it again.

“You give me a funny feeling in my stomach.” He looked down at the milkshake glass in his hands, trailing his fingers up and down the condensation as his cheeks turned red. You felt your own cheeks start to burn at his confession, and you laughed awkwardly.

“That could just be the milkshake.” You mumbled, shoving a nacho in your mouth, and watching him intently.

“I’m being serious. You give me this feeling that I’ve never felt before and I’m fairly sure that it’s the feeling people get when they look at someone they love.” His words had your heart pounding, and suddenly you had no appetite. You knew what the feeling was, because you felt it whenever you looked at Renjun, whenever he smiled, or said something really smart that went straight over your head.

“I feel the same way.” You reached across the table and took his hand in your own, gently rubbing your thumb against the back of his hand.

“Do you…oh god this is so awkward, and I’ve never done this before but…do you want to be with me? As my girlfriend?” He looked nervous, as if you were going to shot him down like a pigeon in the sky. You broke out into a big smile and giggled in your own nervousness.

“I would love to be your girlfriend.” You squeezed his hand, trying to stop yourself from squealing from how giddy you felt in that moment. Your best friend was also your boyfriend, and from that moment you would start a new chapter in your relationship with Renjun.

Later on that evening Renjun had convinced you to let him draw you. You felt silly, and you knew for a fact you’d find it hard to stay still the whole time considering he wanted to draw your whole body. But since he asked so nicely, and had begged about sixty times in an hour, you eventually stripped off completely naked, and laid on his bed for him. You laid on your side with your head resting on his pillow, your right arm tucked under the pillow as you faced him. He was sat in his gaming chair, his glasses perched on his nose and his sketchpad in his lap. He kept poking his tongue out in concentration and would tell you off every time you moved.

“So, I know you spoke to the boys earlier on when I was in the shower,” You smiled at him, trying your hardest not to move as to not get scolded by him again. “Did they say anything about us?” Renjun looked up over his sketch pad and cleared his throat, giving you an awkward laugh and nod.

“Of course they did. First off, they congratulated me for losing my virginity first, they also said they were super shocked, which I’m not gonna lie, kind of offended about that.” He laughed, which told you he was only joking, and he hadn’t actually taken any offence to their words. “Then they said that they’re happy for me that I have finally asked you out and yeah that’s pretty much it.” You bit your bottom lip, smirking as you looked at Renjun, his eyes trained on his art and not looking at you as he worked on a certain part.

“Renjun…” You called out, parting your legs and trailing your left hand down your body, cupping your heat and rubbing your fingers over yourself slowly. He looked up and then looked back at his art, realising what he’d just seen and quickly looking back up against to take a second look.

“Holy…” He trailed off, gulping as he watched you rub yourself, your bottom lip between your teeth. “I know you’re trying to seduce me so that we can fuck but…I haven’t drawn your lower half yet and I would really love to draw you exactly as you are now. So don’t move!” His face was red, but he looked like an excited puppy. You groaned, you eyes rolling and you cursed yourself for having an artist as a boyfriend, because now he was finally in a sexual relationship, he could unlock a whole new level to his art that he’d never been able to before.

“Haung Renjun, you better fuck me so good after you’re finished drawing or I will rip it up.” Your threat left a wide grin on his face, and you knew this was going to be an incredibly fun chapter in your life.

Hello! I hope you enjoyed the first instalment of The Virgin Diaries! I didn’t proofread the smut scene so sorry if there’s any grammar or spelling errors there, maybe one day I’ll go back and proofread it but don’t hold your breath. Let me know what you think and if you’re excited for Jeno’s part (he’s next). Love you!

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sakura-samsara · 2 years

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Ikemen Genjiden: Prologue (Part 9 of 10)

← Part 8

Yasuchika: I am Abe no Yasuchika, an onmyōji.

Yasuchika: I arrived in the middle of all of that business that happened just now, so I did witness a bit of what happened at the end. It’s a pleasure to meet you! …Fox-possessed princess.

Yoshino: Ah…! The… pleasure is all mine.

(He said he was an onmyōji… That’s a high-ranking official in the imperial court who performs rituals and spells, right?)

Tamamo: You don’t need to greet him so politely. This is the guy who sealed me in the killing stone.

Yoshino: Really?! Onmyōji are so powerful that they can do something like that? That’s amazing…

Morinaga: Pretty much, although Yasuchika-dono is considered a prodigy.

Kagetoki: He is also famously considered an eccentric and a freak.

Yasuchika: Mori-san, Kage-san, you’re so mean!

(Yasuchika-san definitely has a… unique disposition. Maybe it’s because he’s a genius.)

Yoshino: Oh…! So Yasuchika-san was the one who was supposed to release Tamamo from the killing stone for Yoritomo-sama’s purposes.

Yoritomo: That was the plan he had suggested to us, until Yoshitsune broke the killing stone and injured Tamamo.

Yasuchika: I’m just happy that you all are safe. I didn’t believe in the slightest that you would have been able to get Tamamo to work for you in the first place, anyway.

Yasuchika: After all, I had to use all the power I had just to seal him in the killing stone. I wouldn’t have been able to break the seal and get him under control with my abilities if I tried!

(What…?)

Shigehira: Yasuchika-san… Did you seriously suggest a plan that you didn’t even think would work?!

Yasuchika: Don’t get angry with me! It wasn’t like you had come up with any other plans by yourselves, so it couldn’t be helped.

Seeing Shigehira-san’s brow furrow tightly with anger, I hurriedly tried to change the subject.

Yoshino: By the way, when we were talking about breaking the contract, you had said it was… not possible. What did you mean by that?

Yasuchika: Ah! That’s because a contract requires the use of more magical power to be broken than it needs to be formed.

Tamamo: What that rotten onmyōji said is true. I’m sorry… I truly don’t have enough power left to break our contract.

Yoshino: …So it’s like I really am possessed by an ayakashi…?

Tamamo: Oh, but don’t you worry. Your predicament can still be solved. If you want me to break our contract, you can help me collect magic to replenish my power.

Yoshino: How exactly am I supposed to help you do that…? I have a bad feeling about this.

Tamamo: All you have to do is absorb the power of other ayakashi, just like you already did not too long ago. The more powerful the ayakashi, the better.

(Just like I already did!? He says it like it’s easy!)

Yoshino: There’s no way I can do that! I don’t think it’s even possible.

Tamamo: You are hopeless. Would you rather stay this way for the rest of your life?

Yoshino: I…

Yoritomo: In that case, I have an idea.

(Yoritomo-sama?)

I turned around and looked at Yoritomo, who was smiling the most evil smile I had ever seen.

Yoritomo: The two of you can work for the Kamakura shogunate.

Yoshino: The shogunate?!

Yoritomo: Yes. Yoshitsune has declared that he will eventually lead his soldiers to attack us.

Yoritomo: Yoshino. The ability you gained from your pact with Tamamo will become our weapon against Yoshitsune’s magical powers in the event of an emergency.

Tamamo: And we can collect the magical power we need from Yoshitsune’s side. Not a bad idea.

(But doesn’t joining the fight against Yoshitsune-sama mean that I’ll have to participate in battle…?)

Kagetoki: It’s certainly sensible. We should make use of the tools that are available to us, after all.

Shigehira: Are you kidding me? You’re talking about sending an ordinary woman with absolutely no fighting experience straight to the front lines of a war! Do you seriously think there’s nothing wrong with that?!

(…I’m not too confident about doing this, myself.)

Morinaga: Mm, you’ve got a point. Yoshino, what are your thoughts?

Yoshino: …What would happen if I didn’t cooperate with the shogunate?

Yoritomo: Even if you choose not to join forces with us, your existence still poses a threat to Yoshitsune. You will be targeted either way.

Tamamo: Hmm… And my power has already been greatly decreased from their attack. It’s a lose-lose situation if we don’t work together.

Yoritomo: If you support the shogunate, then you will have the opportunity to absorb Yoshitsune and Kurama’s power for yourselves while weakening them against us.

(I don’t want to be targeted by Yoshitsune-sama and his army… And I don’t want Tamamo to be weakened because of me.)

When Tamamo was in the form of a little fox, before I had known he was an ayakashi, I truly had wanted to help him from the very bottom of my heart.

(What should I do? It doesn’t seem like I have any other options.)

(I’ll have to give up on my plans to get out there on my own as an apothecary, at least for the time being…)

I was conflicted, but in the end, I made my decision with a resolute nod.

Yoshino: …I agree.

Shigehira: Huh!? Did you seriously agree…?

Yasuchika: Wow! What a brave person you are.

Yasuchika applauded cheerily before turning in Yoritomo’s direction.

Yasuchika: Well then, I’ll be returning to the capital now. I have to report to them about the fantastic story of tonight.

Yoritomo: Do whatever you want. I’ll let you know if anything comes up.

Yasuchika: Of course! Kindly do so whenever you please. And Yoshino-san, I’ll see you soon~

Yoshino: Ah, yes. See you…

We bid farewell to Yasuchika-san, who left just as slowly as he had arrived.

Yoritomo: Now, we should return to the palace… is what I would say. But Tamamo, you look too conspicuous to be going anywhere that people can see you.

(That’s for sure… If he went into town with his ears and tail out in plain sight, it’d definitely cause a stir.)

Tamamo: That won’t be a problem at all. Give me just a moment.

Tamamo clapped his hands, and for a moment, the air around him seemed to ripple like a mirage.

Tamamo: How is this?

Yoshino: Your ears are gone! Your tail, too…

Kagetoki: It seems you have experience masquerading as a human to meddle in the affairs of mankind. How cunning of you. I’d even say it’s suspicious.

Morinaga: There’s no need to be so suspicious of everyone. —Alright then, let’s get going.

We began walking, with Yoritomo leading our group.

At the same time—Yasuchika, after parting ways with Yoshino and the others, was traveling alone on the road to the capital.

Yasuchika: I thought Yoritomo-sama would have met his end tonight. What happened instead was an unexpected development.

Yasuchika: The woman who had been possessed by the fox spirit… How will she change our destiny?

??? (Ibuki): Nothing will be changed by her at all. Don’t you think? Akihito.

Akihito: Who knows? I still have yet to meet the girl.

Yasuchika: Akihito-sama, …Ibuki.

From the darkness emerged a boy with elegant features and a rather mature-sounding voice, as well as a young man with an air of nobility about him.

Ibuki: Such a foolishly earnest woman would be fun to play with. I’d like to make her acquaintance too.

Yasuchika: I’m not really interested in talking about your hobbies with you.

Ibuki: That’s not very sweet of you to say, Yasuchika.

Akihito: Well, as it stands, neither the shogunate nor the rebel forces have fallen yet…

Akihito: So it seems we must continue to draw them into a dance with disaster.

Akihito: I hope the fox-possessed girl will prove to be a good dancer.

Ibuki: We'll make sure of it.

Ibuki smirked and gracefully removed the bracelet from his slender wrist.

His form appeared to waver in the air…

Ibuki: Won't we? Former emperor—Sutoku-in Akihito?

Ibuki: The only human to have formed a pact with the Shuten-dōji; the pitifully cursed kingling.

Yasuchika: …If this was a fairy tale, we wouldn’t be on the demon-slaying heroes’ side.

Akihito: That’s precisely why I’ll continue to play the role of the villain.

Akihito: Now let’s be off, you two. We have a curse to spread.

(This is the heart of Kamakura… the Ōkura Gosho!)

Yoshino: It’s such a grand building…!

Shigehira: Of course it’s grand. This is where the Sei-i Taishōgun lives and administers state affairs.

Part 10 →

Notes:

During this time period, Kyōto (京都) was the imperial capital city of Japan, where the seat of the emperor was located. In the past it was referred to simply as Kyō (京) which literally just meant “the capital”—the IkeGen characters usually refer to it as such.

Ibuki is a type of yōkai called oni (鬼), which are demons/ogres with a reputation for being fearsome and aggressive. They’re often depicted with grotesque faces, huge hulking bodies, and horns on their heads. Shuten-dōji (酒吞童子) was the strongest and most famous oni in Japanese folklore, who was said to reside in the Ōeyama or Ibuki mountains (the latter presumably being our Ibuki’s namesake). He wreaked terror and havoc in Kyōto before, as the legend goes, he was killed by the hero Minamoto no Yorimitsu/Raikō. He was also very fond of drinking sake—his name means “little drunkard.”

The Ōkura Gosho (大蔵御所) was the area surrounding and including the palace complex built by Yoritomo in Kamakura. The shogunate’s government offices and the residences of many of Yoritomo’s powerful vassals were located there, making it the “heart of Kamakura” as the heroine calls it. The word gosho (御所) itself means the palace or estate of the emperor or shogun.

#ikemen genjiden #ikemen genjiden prologue #ikemen genjiden translations

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sundaysundaes · 4 years

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Spectra

Lee Donghyuck/Haechan X Reader/Female OC | Romance, Eventual Smut, Fluff | NC-17 | Soulmate AU, Childhood-Friends-Become-Lovers AU

The second part of Monochrome. Read the epilogue here.

Summary: Lee Donghyuck once believed in the concept of soulmates—how fate would connect a red thread from one lover to another, in a form of dreams and memories. That was how his parents met, that was how they claimed their happiness, and he wanted nothing more but to live his life the way they lived theirs. Until one day, as he sees her slipping away from his hands, he has no choice but to stop believing entirely.

Donghyuck woke up with his heart in his throat. His eyes, as they bore into the ceilings of his room, swallowed by the darkness, were shaking in both fear and rapture. Two things occupied his mind, forcibly pushing his other thoughts away and rendered them pointless.

First, he knew it wasn’t just a dream. Like what she’d previously mentioned, it felt nothing like a dream. He was completely aware of everything, perfectly sane, and could thoroughly remember every detail, every scene, every word that she said even after he woke up.

Second, he was certain that it was a memory, and although he was in it, he knew it was her memory and not his, because there were parts of it that felt vague to him before but were crystal clear now as he saw it through her point of view. He had his first soulmate dream, there was no doubt about it.

So that brought him to the next question.

Why did he dream about her? She’d found her soulmate, hadn’t she? And she had explicitly stated many times that her soulmate was not him, but a complete stranger—one that she only knew by his face and not his name. So, wasn’t he supposed to be connected to someone else—to see someone else’s memories?

He leaned up, sitting on his bed with his elbows sinking into his thighs, his fingers yanking at the roots of his hair. “Fuck, I don’t get it,” he whispered to himself, feeling a little bit lightheaded from all these unsolved questions swirling in his brain. “Am I her soulmate? Do I still have the chance to be with her?”

But even a chance would be enough, he soon decided. Even just reliving her memories every night, knowing her better, seeing her longer, that would be enough reasons for him to continue with his hope.

Perhaps, he could believe in soulmates for a little longer.

There were a few short memories he saw in his first soulmate dream, most of them were from her childhood days which made him feel content to the point he wanted to never wake up because these flashbacks always had him in them. He was an integral part of her childhood memories, the one who shaped her into the person that she was now.

But the memory that shook him the most was the memory of the time they went to the beach during their summer vacation with his family. Donghyuck watched himself sneak out of their cottage in his grey hoodie placed underneath a beige varsity jacket. He saw a few months younger version of himself, grinning from ear-to-ear, as he shouted in whispers.

“Come on, Noona, hurry up!”

“Haechannie, it’s two in the morning!”

The sight of her had always warmed his heart, but in this dream he was having, her beauty seemed almost ethereal as if her entire being was a piece of art with the sole purpose of being loved and admired.

“Which is the more reason why we should hurry up before they find out, Noona, for God’s sake, come on!” He grasped her by the wrist, yanking her forward so he could close the door behind her. They stepped down the stairs in a hurry, their flip-flops making creaking sounds on the wooden surface.

“If your mom finds out and she—” She abruptly ended her sentence with a yelp as she tripped on her feet, clutching her arms around his shoulders for balance, pressing her chest involuntarily against his back. The boy threw a glance over his shoulder, clearly enjoying the way she had her arms wrapped tightly around his body. Smirking suggestively, he cooed, “Baby, you’re so aggressive. At least, buy me dinner first.”

“Asshole.” She retracted her hands at once, shoving him harshly until this time, he was the one who tripped down the stairs, falling face-first on the ground, inadvertently swallowing some sand into his mouth. She concealed her marbled teeth with her fingers as she giggled at the sight, but began to run for her life when he growled, “I’m going to kill you,” and chased after her trails with his arms reaching out to catch her.

The reason they had their feet dipped in the sand at two in the morning was simply because Donghyuck couldn’t sleep at the sight of her curling beside him on the thin mattress that was laid out in the living room. The cottage only had three rooms, one was used by his parents, another one was supposed to be used by her and his twin sister, and the last one was for him and his two younger brothers to snuggle up together in a cramped bed. But Donghyuck had insisted to sleep outside so he could watch a movie before bed and his parents didn’t mind, even if his neighbor ended up joining him in the middle of the night upon his request.

So when she fell asleep next to him, her face almost sinking into the crook of his neck, and her hand laying on his stomach, mistaking him as her usual body pillow, Donghyuck had to distract himself before he thought about doing something sinful. So he shook her by the shoulder, told her to wipe the drool away from her face, and asked her to follow him outside, mentioning that he suddenly had the urge to stargaze. And although a train of complaints kept tumbling down her lips, she followed—she always did, no matter where he led her to.

“What are you doing?” He questioned the girl who stood next to him, looking like she wanted him to do something. “Sit down next to me, come on.”

“I’m waiting for you to be a gentleman.”

“What?”

“Aren’t you supposed to lay down your jacket on the ground so this lady right here won’t have sand on her shorts? You’re wearing two jackets, after all.”

“Yeah, but not for you to sit on it.” Donghyuck, who had already sat down on the damp sand, rolled his eyes. “You watch too many dramas. Guys don’t do that in real life.”

“It’s you who don’t do that.” And with pouty lips, she quietly added, “Jaemin did that for me.”

“I heard that.”

“I wanted you to hear it.”

“And so how are things going on with this Jaemin so far? Is he still giving you sloppy blowjobs on the weekends?” He faked a gasp, one hand covering his mouth for dramatic effect. “Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot he broke up with you.” A cheeky grin crawled up his face. “On. Your. Fucking. Birthday.”

“Whatever.” She blushed. “At least, he’s hotter than you’ll ever be.”

He seemed more annoyed than he should, and she was on the verge of thinking whether her joke was going too far but Donghyuck exhaled loudly into the air, standing up on his feet again and tore his varsity jacket off his body. “Here,” he said, as he spread it out on the ground. “Your majesty.”

“Why, thank you, my prince.” She giggled, plopping down on the sand. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

And they ended up throwing playful kicks and punches to each other again like the other million times they did, before they finally laid side-by-side on the sand, sweaty and out of breath.

“Haechannie.”

“What?”

“Do you think we'll still do this after we get married and have kids?” She asked, gazing at the stars that gleamed radiantly in the black night sky.

“Us?” Donghyuck rubbed his nose, a speck of sand making his skin itchy. “Like, in bed? Well, I don’t know about you, but I think I might be into rough sex, but maybe after a few years deep into our marriage so you won’t—”

“Not us getting married, you idiot!” She grappled another handful of sand, threatening to throw it on his face but Donghyuck already had his arms raised in surrender. “I mean, do you see us hanging out like this when we already have our own families to think about?”

“I don’t like to think too much.” He nonchalantly shrugged. “It’s still way ahead in the future. I’d probably die an early death from being too rich and handsome, anyway.”

“You’d die from being too dumb.”

“I was talking about me, not you.” He swatted her hand away when she was about to shove him in the chest. “Speaking of getting married, why don’t we make a pact?” Though his heart was racing a bit faster, he kept his lopsided grin intact as they shared eye contact. “If, after we turn eighteen, we end up having no dreams of our soulmates, why don’t you and I get together?”

She unexpectedly blurted out laughing. “I can understand if you think that there’s a chance of me not having any soulmate, but the chance of me not finding anyone more decent than you as my husband? How dare you, Lee Donghyuck.”

“I’m just saying,” he repeated, turning on his stomach. “If by the time we turn thirty or something we still haven’t found anyone, why don’t you and I get married?”

“I thought we’ve promised somewhere along the way in our poor little friendship that we’d never talk about this again?”

“I think we’re mature enough to have this conversation by now. So, what do you think?”

She was still on the verge of laughing. “What I think about what, Haechannie, you’re being absolutely crazy and embarrassing—”

“Why is it so hard for you to just say yes and marry me?” He insisted, holding back a laugh himself because her smile was so contagious. “Is it seriously that gross for you to think of me as your husband?”

“It’s not that, it’s—Oh my God, okay,” she finally gave in, heaving the heaviest sigh before she sat up properly and turned toward him. “Look, you’re not exactly the most romantic person out there.”

“Hey,” he pouted, scowling a little. “I can be romantic. You just don’t know it yet because you’ve never seen me on a date.”

“Yeah? Then try me.”

“Try what?”

“Be romantic. Do something that can make my heart flutter for you, oh my mighty prince,” she jeered, throwing a challenging, mocking smile at him. “If you can make my heart skip a beat, I’ll marry you.”

He scoffed. “Man, I know you’re shy but you don’t have to challenge me with this pathetic dare if you want to marry me that bad.”

She stood up immediately. “I’m leaving.”

He was chuckling as he captured her by the wrist. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry, wait.” He tapped his chin, nibbling slightly on his bottom lip. “Let’s see… What should I do…. What should I—oh!”

She raised an eyebrow, seeing him stand up on his feet. “What are you doing?”

“I’m gonna take you dancing.” He offered her his hand and she stared at it with reluctance written in her eyes before she sighed and took it. He pulled her abruptly with all his strength to make her stumble on her feet, but he caught her just in time by circling his arms around her waist, leading her close until they’re chest-to-chest.

“Blushing yet?” He teased, smirking.

“I’m starting to think this is a bad idea,” she flatly said, pushing him away but he took her hand and placed it on his shoulder. “What are you doing?”

“As I said,” he paused, taking his phone out of the pocket of his jeans and running his thumb along the screen. He chose one of the acoustic songs in his music playlist—Ed Sheeran’s Thinking Out Loud which made her scrunch her nose in protest—turned his speaker to the highest volume and hid the phone in the pocket of his hoodie. “I’m gonna take you dancing.”

She snorted but followed his lead, landing both of her arms on his shoulders. “Why am I not surprised that your song choice is something from Billboard’s Top Twenty?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I left my compilation of classic slow dance songs back at my house, along with my ballet shoes and my tutus.”

She narrowed her eyes at his sarcasm. “Okay, Ed Sheeran it is then.”

The first half of the song went by in what felt like hours to her from all the tension that arose between them. While she moved rather awkwardly, trying to match how his body slightly swayed from one side to another, Donghyuck smiled, softer than she could even begin to imagine, and gently asked, “Can I move closer?”

She could faintly feel his breath on her face even in their current position, but she gave a weak nod and answered, “S-sure.”

Donghyuck held back a grin. “Was that a stutter?”

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I do stutter from time to time, idiot. Everyone does that.”

“Okay, okay, geez. Cranky, much?”

“I’m just not sure if—” she took a sharp intake of breath when he suddenly leaned closer, his lips almost grazing against hers before he pulled away to give very little space between them. “You’re not playing fair,” she whispered, trying not to focus on his lips.

His eyes were half-lidded as he took in her features. “You didn’t make any rules.”

“I hate you.”

“Man, I was hoping you’d feel otherwise, but,” he guided her hands so they could circle themselves around his neck, as he moved his own lower on her body, resting on each side of her waist. “I only just started, so…”

She was breathing a little heavily, but not expanding the space between them, afraid to lose the game. She didn’t want to give him any more reason to ridicule her. “Right, so, what’s next? Because you’re not making me feel anything with this, Haechannie.”

He slowly brushed her bangs away from her eyes, his fingertips grazing against the soft skin of her temple. “Have I told you about the day when I realized I love you?”

That question almost rendered her frozen on her feet, but she caught herself at the last second. “A pick-up line?” She tried to pretend it didn’t have any effect on her by scoffing out loud. “Seriously?”

But Donghyuck was not laughing nor reciprocating in any teasing manner. His eyes were dark and deep, with all kinds of emotions swirling behind them. The tone he was using when he spoke his next words was filled with nothing but sincerity and candor.

“Maybe I’ve loved you since the first time we met, but…” He added a small chuckle as if he was shy and she wondered since when did he become such a good actor? “I guess I was too young, but I do remember that one time when I saw you and I thought,” he exhaled, reaching up a hand to cup her cheek before he pressed his temple against hers, “God, I gotta have her.”

She gulped hard, feeling her breath hitched in her throat. She just hoped he wouldn’t notice.

“You were wearing this beautiful red dress that I’d never seen you worn before, but it wasn’t just how pretty you looked that caught me off guard.” His words didn’t have as much effect on her as the tender way he regarded her with his deep, brown eyes, just utterly mesmerized by her everything. “It was the way you call my name with that adorable shy smile on your face, asking me about how you look and I just….” He leaned down so they’re eye-to-eye, with his fingers holding her face and his thumb caressing her cheek. “I just thought that maybe I want to keep you for myself. I want to hear you say my name, to show me that smile again, over and over—every day, for the rest of my life. I don’t want you to belong to someone else. I want to be the only one you can think about, both in your reality and your dreams.”

As if she was being hypnotized, her eyes began to solely focus on the way his mouth was shaping praises and terms of longing.

“I’ve never seen you as a friend, or a sister.” He was so close, so warm, so intoxicating. “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything—anyone—as much as I want you now and it fucking hurts to hear another guy’s name escaping your lips because I just really…” He sighed. “Really want you for myself. All of you. Your kindness, your warmth, your crazy bedhead, your stupid, silly grin whenever you won a game against me. I want everything, and I need you to feel the same way, to need me as much as I need you.”

“Haechannie, I—”

“Listen, Noona.” His voice sounded both pained and desperate. “I know you don’t feel the same way, you don’t have to tell me that but I just—I want to be selfish, even more than I already am, and let you know just how much I want to be with you,” his other hand traced along the dip of her spine, “and hold you,” the fingers that were cupping her cheek were now holding her by the chin, his thumb running along her lower lip, “and kiss you…”

She unconsciously parted her lips, perhaps putting her best effort to find her words but failed every time and the temptation that he felt to replace his finger with his own lips on her was too overwhelming so before anything went wrong, he pulled back and loudly yelled, “Okay, cut!”

The sudden loss of his touch on her body didn’t feel as disheartening to him as the look he saw on her face, and maybe the way the moonlight shone across her features was playing tricks on him, because she seemed… disappointed that he stopped.

Maybe she just got carried away with the moment. Or maybe she could tell that he was being honest the whole time, knowing that it was an actual confession rather than another crazy antic of his. And maybe she was about to give him the chance, to actually look at him in the same way he looked at her, to feel the way he felt about her, and…

And he ruined the moment.

“N-Noona?” He started when she fell quiet, hiding her eyes behind her bangs. “Are you—”

“It’s getting late,” she suddenly mentioned, bending down to grab his varsity jacket from the sandy ground and harshly pushed it toward him. “Let’s get back to the cottage. We need to catch some sleep.” And as she walked off, not glancing back to see whether he was following or not, Donghyuck noticed how red her face was even when there wasn’t enough lighting around them.

As a bystander in this memory, eighteen-year-old Lee Donghyuck felt a hollow forming inside his chest, swallowing his presence one-by-one until he ceased to exist because as he relived the situation for the second time in his life, he knew how badly he had screwed everything up. He had turned his honest confession into another teasing joke because he just wasn’t brave enough to take the risks—to tell her his actual feelings in fear of ruining the bond that they already had. He saw the look on her face vividly this time, and it wasn’t pure rejection. He had a hope, she was about to give in, and he lost his chance.

And now, as she fell harder for the stranger she met in her dreams, Donghyuck was nothing but a memory—one that she’d bury at the back of her mind, one that she’d pretend to never have existed in her life.

“You’re a fucking idiot, Hyuck,” he muttered under his breath before he blinked himself awake.

***

“Haechannie! Are you up yet?”

Donghyuck could hear a clanking sound on his window, perhaps from small rocks hitting the glass. Rubbing the headache away from the back of his head, he stepped down from the bed, taking heavy steps to greet the person standing on the other side of the window.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” his neighbor chirped with an excited smile, leaning half of her body forward, crossing over her window frame. He noticed how her eyes took a quick detour on his body, as he was not wearing any shirt, but she tried to act nonchalant about it. “A lady is gracing you with her presence, so get dressed.”

Usually, he would’ve said something flirty along the line of “But isn’t this how I always look like in your dreams?” But this time, he kept himself quiet, only sighing to himself as if he had troubles that he couldn’t talk about.

And she noticed. She always did. “Are you okay?”

“Just had a bad dream.” He shrugged, feeling sleepier than before he went to bed.

“I’m guessing, you haven’t met your soulmate yet?”

He hesitated. “Well, I saw you.”

She blinked, a bit startled, but she promptly laughed it off. “Right, must have sucked then. You were waiting for a pretty stranger and I popped out instead. Sorry about that.”

He tapped his fingers against the railing, somewhat agitatedly and impatient. “Noona, about last night when we accidentally kissed. Did it… make you feel something?”

He swore, she almost fell to the floor out of shock. Blood was rushing to her face, making her incoherent. “What—why—I thought we were going to pretend it didn’t happen—”

He knew it was probably a bad idea to question all this, but if he did have the chance to be with her, no matter how small it is, if she really did feel the same way, he had to know. He couldn’t make the same mistake again.

“I thought about your reaction after that kiss. I just want to know whether it made you feel something.” He was gripping the railings by then, sounding desperate, craving for her honesty. “Something about me.”

She sputtered, mouth gaping as she was rendered speechless. But before she could react any further, they both heard her mother calling her name. Donghyuck regarded it as a distraction, but to her, it was a lifesaver. Speaking in a sense of urgency, she said, “I gotta go.”

“Noona—”

“Haechannie.” The tone she was using was definite, not wanting to hear more words from him. “I think we should stop talking about it, especially when we’re a step closer to finding our soulmates.”

He frowned, feeling as if he just got impaled. “What are you—”

“I know his name now.” A weak smile appeared on her face. “I heard someone calling his name in my dream last night. That was what I was going to tell you.”

It appeared again, the hollow inside his chest, and it grew even bigger, sucking every part of him like a black hole. “So you’re going to pretend nothing happened between us?”

“Yes, because nothing happened between us,” she professed. “It was just an accident, Haechannie.” She seemed exhausted, almost as if answering his question was draining her physically. “None of us wanted that kiss to happen.”

Donghyuck glanced away, giving her the cold shoulder. “Sure. Whatever.”

She sighed, tired of his behavior. “Look, maybe you’re just confused because of everything that happened last night, what with us spending time alone holding hands, me giving you that locket with those words—maybe we crossed the line and I apologize for that since half of it was my fault. But whatever it is that you think is happening between us will disappear the second you meet your soulmate in your dream,” she claimed, using a tone like how a mother would console her crying child. “I don’t ever want to be apart from you but if being with me makes you feel awkward and uncomfortable, maybe it’s best if we keep our distance for now?”

He gaped, his heart almost leaping out of his chest. “No! That’s not what—”

Her mother’s voice rang through the air again, making her flinch. “Look, I really gotta go,” she softly said with a timid smile. “We’ll talk later?”

And before he could answer, she already stepped away from her window. She didn’t look back until she had her fingers curving against her doorknob. “Oh, and umm,” she paused, looking unsure before she looked sideways. “His name is Mark Lee, my soulmate. Just thought you should know.”

And she left, trampling on his heart with every step she took.

***

There was an invisible wall between them, and no matter how hard Donghyuck tried to tear it apart, it wouldn’t budge so instead of fixing things, he decided to give her the time and space she needed.

Because what else could he have done? She had already rejected him before he could even confess properly—or for real, this time around. It was as if she was scared to give in to her feelings, which made him feel even more confident that she had felt something for him. She was just too lost in this whole soulmate concept that it blinded her entirely, while he, on the other hand, had begun to stop believing in it and dwell himself deeper in reality rather than his dreams.

But when one of his bandmates, Lee Jeno, announced that his cousin was going to come in to temporarily fill the position of lead guitar player in their band, Donghyuck had no other choice but to believe that fate did take part in connecting a red thread from one lover to another. Because, standing in a pair of jeans and a black shirt with his eyes half-covered by his white snapback, was Mark Lee—her soulmate.

Donghyuck could tell that he was the same Mark Lee she mentioned because he had seen her drawings of him. It had taken her weeks before she could finish his sketch, drawing him solely based on the memories she had witnessed in her dreams and though it wasn’t a hundred percent accurate, she did manage to sketch his distinct features—his prominent cheekbones, his thin, curvy lips, his wide, doe eyes.

The sight of him, standing just two meters away from him, sent chills down his spine.

“Hey guys,” Mark said, giving them a tentative smile. Even his awkwardness looked exactly the way she described him to be.

“This is Lee Donghyuck, our vocalist.” Jeno introduced him, “He’s an ass and you’ll probably get into a fight with him sooner or later—we all did—but after that, he’ll get all clingy to you. Just a heads up so you won’t be surprised and end up leaving the band before the gig.”

Mark laughed at that, friendly and warm, and it set Donghyuck’s heart ablaze for an entirely different reason. It was the first time he met him and yet he already despised everything that he was.

“It’s weird,” Mark said, offering his hand for a handshake. “I thought your friends call you Haechan too.”

Donghyuck froze, almost losing his grip on his phone. “What?”

Mark blinked, the realization hit him like a wave when he looked around, noticing everyone looking at him with furrowed eyebrows and questioning eyes. “Oh, I mean,” he panicked, “I-it’s nothing. I was just talking to myself. I’m weird that way.”

“Don’t worry, bud,” Jeno said, picking up his bass. “We’re all a bunch of freaks here. That’s why we get along.”

Mark smiled but seemed more like a grimace. He turned toward Donghyuck again. “Sorry about that. Nice to meet you, Lee Donghyuck. I hope we can be friends.”

Donghyuck took his hand but wished for the exact opposite.

***

“Do you have some time to spare, Donghyuck-ah?”

Donghyuck already knew who it was without having to glance up from his phone screen. It wasn’t because Mark’s voice was distinct to his ears, it was simply because his voice and the way he said his name as if they were best friends irked him so much.

“No,” Donghyuck answered, tapping his thumbs rapidly to earn another high score on the game he was playing. He was squatting down on the ground with his shoulders slouched forward. They just finished having their third band practice in the same studio that week, and although he was drained to his boots, Jeno kept insisting to have another practice so they wouldn’t embarrass the shit out of themselves when they performed as the opening act at prom.

Mark laid his guitar case against the wall before he took a seat next to him in the alley that stood behind their music studio. “Well, you look like you do, so I’m just gonna sit here and ask you something.”

Donghyuck scoffed. “You’re actually pretty annoying, aren’t you?”

“I’m sorry. I know you don’t like me—”

“I dislike people in general, so don’t consider yourself special.”

Mark seemed amused at his words which pissed him off even more. “I know we just met for a few days and it’s probably better for me to leave you alone—”

“And yet, here you are, talking to me when I’m trying to finish this fucking game.” He moved his thumbs more frantically than before, making Mark worry that he was going to break his phone screen, and stopped when the game ended with him winning second place. “Look what you’ve done. Happy now?”

“I thought that was a pretty high score.”

“That was the lowest score I’ve ever achieved in my life.��

“I’m sorry.”

“Just fuck off, Mark.” Even when his tone sounded final, Mark did not budge.

“I promise I’ll leave you alone after this, but I just really need to ask something first,” he said, slightly forcing the other man to look at him by placing an arm on his shoulder. “I see you a lot in my dreams.”

Donghyuck knew exactly what he meant, but he wasn’t going to dwell himself in it. “Sorry, dude,” he uttered, slapping his hand away. “I’m not gay.”

“No. That’s not what I meant.” Mark had the bravery to laugh about it. “You’ve heard about the soulmate dream, right? How you could see your soulmate’s memories—”

“Yeah, I’ve heard about it and I’m also not interested.” He stood up, tucking his phone back to the pocket of his jeans, and leaned sideways to grab his backpack. “I’m leaving.”

“Please.” Mark stopped him by wrapping his thin fingers along his wrist. “Please help me. By your reaction, I know she’s told you about me and I want to find her—I need to find her. I just don’t know where to start. I don’t even know her name.”

“Well, it’s not my fucking problem, is it?” Donghyuck harshly pulled his wrist away, stomping his feet on the pavement, away from the other man.

Mark stood up, desperation sounding thick in his voice. “Can’t we just—Donghyuck-ah!”

“Fuck off, Mark.”

“You love her, don’t you?”

That stopped him in his tracks, making him turn on his heels, hissing, “Excuse me?”

Mark fidgeted slightly, swallowing his breath. “You’re acting this way because you love her. More than a friend. That’s why you don’t want to help me.”

He had earned his whole attention now. “The reason why I’m not helping you is simply because you’re a fucking stranger who’s looking for ways to get into my best friend’s pants.”

“I’m not—” Mark blushed. “Listen, I’m just trying to find my soulmate. I know she’s looking for me too. I’ve seen her memories. I’ve seen you spending a lot of time with her too. I won’t be surprised if you end up having feelings for her—”

Donghyuck almost bared his teeth. “Shut up.”

“But she’s not your soulmate, so—“

“Shut the fuck up!” It happened so fast for Mark’s eyes to catch, but the next thing he knew, Donghyuck’s fingers were fisting the collar of his shirt, slamming his body against the wall and Mark groaned lowly, feeling pain spreading like wildfire from the back of his skull.

“You don’t know anything about me, Mark Lee.” The way Donghyuck spat out his name was laced with nothing but venom. “And don’t you dare talk to me about this soulmate bullshit. Falling in love with a complete stranger just because you saw her in your dreams? Do you know how fucking ridiculous you sound in my head?”

Still wincing from the pain, he replied, “I saw the way you looked at her.”

“I don’t fucking care,” Donghyuck snarled, tightening his grip around the fabric of his shirt. “And if I were you, I would just fuck off and try my luck finding her somewhere else because I’m not gonna tell you anything. Do we have that clear?”

Mark didn’t say a word in response, but his eyes were locked into his. Donghyuck could see how they didn’t waver in the slightest, and the way Mark’s fingernails were sinking deep into his wrist let him know that this man could hold his own battle if needed.

Donghyuck released his hold with a hard shove, and Mark didn’t blink an eye even after knowing his strength.

“Just so you know,” Mark said, when Donghyuck began to step away, slinging his backpack to one of his shoulders. “She would’ve done the opposite for you. She would’ve helped you find your soulmate. But I guess, you already know that.”

Donghyuck stomped off, kicking a trash can on his way out until it toppled over to the ground.

***

Their next band practice was filled with nothing but severe tension between him and Mark, and Jeno had to sigh in exasperation every time one of them made a mistake and blamed the other for it.

“The two of you,” he said, scowling at the two boys who were still trying to murder each other with their glares. “Just go home. Now.”

And unlike Mark, Donghyuck didn’t hesitate—didn’t even try to reason. He just snatched his backpack and walked out the door, slamming his shoulder against Mark’s on his way out.

Jeno grimaced, probably imagining the trouble Mark had to bear while seeing him rubbing off the pain. “Remember when I told you he’s an ass?”

Mark timidly smiled. “Yeah.”

Donghyuck walked home with a sore throat and sweaty bangs. He was no longer as furious as before, but he had to make sure to push every thought of Mark away from his head if he wanted to spend the rest of his evening in peace. He was beyond exhausted and in desperate need of a good, warm shower. He glanced at the house he grew to be more familiar than his own, feeling disappointed that she wasn’t sitting on her porch, waiting for his arrival like usual though she would never admit that out loud.

Well, he should’ve seen that coming. After what happened that morning, he would’ve avoided him too if he was her. But almost a week had passed and they had no interaction, not even meeting each other by coincidence. And although she seemed fine with it, Donghyuck felt more than miserable.

God, if only I can stop missing her so much…

But he couldn’t, so he broke through her fence, and turned over the doorknob of her front door. “Auntie? It’s me. I’m coming in.”

The clicking sounds of footsteps meeting vinyl flooring had him excited in anticipation of her face and the shy, awkward smile she always threw whenever they had arguments a few moments before. But the one who greeted him was her mother, grinning widely at the sight of him as she wiped her hands on her apron.

“Ah, Hyuckie,” she squealed. “Glad you’re here, I was just making dinner. Wanna join us?”

“Oh, no thanks. I just ate something on the way back. Is she here?”

“She said she was heading to the park to draw something. It was hours ago, though. I’m also wondering why she hasn’t come home yet.”

“I see…” There was a knot in his stomach again, making him feel uneasy but he beamed at her again. “Well, I think she’ll be back soon but I’ll go search for her, just in case.”

She pressed a hand against her heart. “Aaw. Always being her knight in shining armor. She’s so lucky to have you.”

He blushed but covered it with a peal of bashful laughter. Saying his goodbye, he turned around to take his leave but she stopped him with a call of his name. “Yeah, auntie?”

“Have you heard…” She hesitated. “Have you heard about her soulmate?”

Donghyuck curled his fingers. “A little.”

Her eyes gleamed in sadness and, as much as Donghyuck hated to see it, sympathy. “Are you okay, Hyuckie? With all of this?”

Thunder roared inside his chest, making him stand still. “What—of course, I’m fine. I’m glad she’s having these dreams. She’ll probably gonna see him soon.”

And Donghyuck never pegged himself as an actor, but seeing how she gradually picked up her motherly smile back on her face and no longer staring at him as if one of his family members just died in such a tragic way, maybe he had a natural talent in lying about his emotions.

“I’m so glad you’re taking this well. I guess I’m not as sharp as I used to be.” She chuckled to herself, a bit diffident. “To tell you the truth, I was rooting for you to be her soulmate. You guys just look so adorable together, but maybe it’s weird for you since you probably think of her as a sister or something.”

“That’s right.” There was a crack in his voice, but he hastily covered it with another smile. “A sister.”

“Which turns out to be a good thing. Because if you love her that way but she’s not your soulmate then it’s going to be hard on both of you.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“You see, finding a soulmate is a rare, wonderful thing that can only occur once in a lifetime. It’s a sign from fate, and if you ignore that sign, if you don’t accept who your soulmate is and be with someone else, something bad will happen, either to yourself or to your relationship.”

“Something bad like what?”

“I don’t know, it just usually doesn’t work out.” She frowned a little bit, noticing how he seemed unusually invested with the topic. “It’s just a rumor, though, darling. So just take any of this with a grain of salt. No one can prove whether it’s true or false.”

“Of course, yeah.” He shook his head, taking control of himself. “Well, thanks anyway. I gotta go.”

“Take care, Hyuckie. And let me know when you start dreaming about your soulmate! I want to know who the lucky girl is!”

He waved a hand, replying to her with a smile but not promising anything.

***

It was already nightfall when he came to his senses, and he hadn’t found her no matter how many steps had he taken in the search of her presence. He had visited the park she often went to in her spare time, the garden near their houses, even the cafe where she once grew fond of. And yet, she was nowhere to be found.

He had tried to call her several times but they were always directed to her voicemails, and he grew even more anxious with more time passing by, worried sick of her well-being.

So when she finally walked past his house, carrying her sketchbook in her arms and a dazed smile on her face, Donghyuck nearly screamed.

“Where the hell have you been?!” He shouted, jumping off his porch and ran to her spot. She was startled, her entire body shaking by the sound of his voice. Her sketchbook slipped from her hands, meeting the cold hard ground that was slightly damp from the drizzle.

“You scared me,” she said, her hand going to her chest. “I was just from the park—“

“I was from the park and you weren’t there!” His eyes were scanning her profile, making sure she was fine. “Where have you been? Do you know how late it is?”

She frowned. “Why do you sound like my mother?”

“I’m not—” Donghyuck exhaled loudly through his nose, trying to collect himself. “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

“Well, I’m fine, so you can stop acting so weird.” She bent down to pick up her sketchbook, but he was faster. “Thanks.” She awkwardly smiled when he handed it to her, noticing how his fingertips brushed hers ever so slightly. “Have you been looking for me all this time? I thought you were avoiding me.”

“I thought you were avoiding me.”

There were a good few seconds of silence where they just gazed deep into each other’s eyes before they began to quietly laugh, exchanging sheepish smiles with knowing eyes. “I guess we avoided each other for nothing then,” she said, holding out her hand. “Are we okay? With everything?”

Donghyuck’s eyes were soft and longing as they peered into hers. He took her hand and pulled her forward until she landed on his chest, embracing her tightly with both arms. “We’re okay.”

“Good,” she lightly murmured, placing her chin on his shoulder as she tiptoed to match his height. “Because I’ve missed you, Haechannie. You and your whole stupid antics.”

It still felt awkward for him, and maybe for her too, to suddenly ignore their heated debate about the kiss they shared and the feelings they had for each other. And maybe they would fight about it again in the future, probably with him starting the fire the second he lost control of his emotions again. But he wanted to forget all of that for now, just for tonight, so he could focus on how perfect she felt in his arms, how both overwhelmingly intoxicating and comforting her scent was, and how nice it was to hear his name falling down her lips.

“I’ve missed you too, Noona,” he whispered. “You could’ve at least texted me where you were. I was worried sick about you.”

“Okay, that was what I was going to tell you.” She pulled away slightly so she could look at him with a pair of animated eyes. “I just went on a date.”

“A… date?” He shivered. “With who?”

“With Mark Lee.” Her cheeks turned rosy with her smile nearly splitting her face in half. “My soulmate.”

Donghyuck gaped, a spark of electricity running through his veins. “H-how?” He swallowed hard.

“A funny story, actually.” She shyly rubbed her nose. “I was trying to draw that pine tree near the pond—the one where we used to carve our names on—and I saw him passing by with his guitar case strapped to his back and a camera in his hand—just like the first time I saw him in my dream. And he saw me through his camera lens and then we were just staring at each other with our mouth wide-open, like can you believe it? It just happened out of nowhere. He noticed me at the same time I noticed him so he must have been seeing me in his dreams too.”

With more words falling from her lips, Donghyuck’s heart raced even faster. It was the first time in his life he ever felt terrified down to his soul. He felt weak, powerless and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t find a way to win against fate. He didn’t know how to defy his destiny.

Though she was an arm’s reach away, it felt like they existed in different universes.

***

It’s hard to pretend to be fine when deep down inside, you feel like drowning and Donghyuck knew how that felt first hand. She regularly came by to his room to say hello but she never laid herself down on his bed. She never touched his arms when she laughed. She no longer pressed her cheek against his shoulder when she felt sleepy. He could tell that she was trying to respect his feelings, not wanting to lead him further ever since that accidental kiss happened. She was trying to be cautious, to draw lines between them, so he’d know his boundaries and stay still on his place, and continue to regard her as nothing but a friend.

It was torture.

They no longer spent their nights together, with her making excuses about studying for her final tests and her college entrance exams. And Donghyuck didn’t mind, though his heart craved desperately for her attention because he couldn’t properly breathe whenever she was around. He felt like he was transforming into someone else, almost like a robot, that only smiled when she smiled and responded with words as little as necessary.

He continued seeing her in his dreams every night, and only then could he truly feel joy. Only then he could have the time to look at her face as long as he wanted. Only then he could hear her calling his name without inflicting some kind of pain in his chest. But even then, he still couldn’t touch her. Even then, she was still out of reach.

She was moving out of town before long, preparing herself to settle at her dorm before she started her first year in college.

“Hey,” Donghyuck softly called, as he leaned against her doorframe, watching her finish packing what was left in her room. It was unfamiliar, he thought, the sight of her room now that her novels were packed in boxes, her clothes were no longer hanging inside her closet, the posters of her favorite idols folded and unseen. It was only her scent that somehow still linger faintly in the air that seemed recognizable to him.

“Hi.” She smiled back, her shoulders going down in relief at the sight of him smiling sheepishly with his eyes peeking from under his bangs. “I was beginning to think that you wouldn’t come to say goodbye.”

“Of course, I would. I’m your best friend, aren’t I?”

“Well, I haven’t seen you in a while.” The way she said it, almost heartbrokenly, made his smile falter from his face.

“Yeah, sorry, I was…” He scratched his cheek. “Busy.”

She took a good look at him, not saying anything and it made him feel queasy. “I saw you on stage during your graduation,” he said, changing the topic. “You looked beautiful.”

“Why didn’t you come to say hi? I was looking for you.”

You did? “You seem occupied with your friends and family. I didn’t want to bother you.”

“Haechannie,” she sighed and he wondered what kind of mistake did he make with his words. “You’ll never bother me. I mean, yes, you bother me a lot as in you annoy the hell out of me but you never bother me with your presence. I missed you on that day. I’ve been missing you for the whole week. And I still kinda miss you now.”

He grew weak. “I miss you too.”

“Why do we keep saying these things when we literally live next to each other?” She chuckled but it sounded dry before she gave in to the silence again. “Are things… okay between us?”

He tried not to flinch. “Were things not okay between us before?”

“I don’t know, you were acting a bit weird after…” She knew the words, she just wasn’t sure whether it was wise for her to say them. “Well, after everything that happened. I just wasn’t sure how to approach you.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. I guess there were just a lot of things running through my mind at the same time.” He brought his head down, looking at his feet. “I’m okay now, though. And I hope we can go back to how we were.”

“Of course, Haechannie.” She stood up, opening her arms to him and he answered immediately, half-running to her spot before he circled his arms around her waist, pulling her close. She sighed the second their skins make contact with each other, exhaling in relief. “Please don’t ever give me the cold shoulder again. I can’t stand it.”

“Okay, okay.” He almost let his lips graze her temple as he spoke. Almost. “Do you want to go somewhere, just the two of us? You’re not leaving until tomorrow, right?”

“I won’t be leaving until next year if that’s what you want me to do.” She grinned childishly. “So take me away, Haechannie. I’m all yours.”

And although he mirrored her grin, his heart was shattering one piece at a time because he knew she only meant her last line as a fleeting joke, and yet he wanted it to become a promise made solely for him.

They tried to catch up as much as they could during dinner in the cafe that she loved so much. He hated the taste of their food—everything somehow felt either too sweet or too sour on his tongue—but he never mentioned it to her, not wanting to erase her happy grin whenever she took a spoonful of gelato into her mouth. Their conversations didn’t go as awkward as he had imagined, but it ended up with her asking more questions and with him only nodding or shaking his head in response. He tried to cover it up with smiles or waves of laughter, and noticing how she hadn’t complained about it so far, maybe he did a pretty good job of masking his feelings.

“It feels so good to have you back,” she said, hands buried deep in the pocket of her coat as she blew hot air into the cold weather, watching puffs of air forming in front of her lips.

They were walking back to their houses, matching their steps with one another with their voices being the only ones that could be heard within the neighborhood. It was late, and she knew she really should have gone to catch some sleep to wake up early on the next day but Donghyuck’s voice in her ears was soothing, making her long to hear more of it, especially when she knew, she wouldn’t be able to hear it again in a while.

Donghyuck sank half of his face behind his scarf. “I never left you, though.”

“Liar. You totally avoided me this whole time.”

“Well, what am I supposed to do? You kissed me and pretended it didn’t mean shit.”

“I kissed you?!” She gasped, blushing as she stopped in her tracks. “It was an accident!”

Donghyuck turned around, facing her. “It was still a kiss, nonetheless.”

They were walking on a thin rope. He knew it was a sensitive topic, and she also knew that it was best for them to avoid it but she was leaving on the next day and she couldn’t help but feel that he was still holding secrets from her. It was time for her to face this once and for all, so they could go back to the way they were before it was too late.

“What exactly do you want me to do about it?” She nervously asked, but tried to keep her voice steady. “I can’t exactly turn back time.”

Donghyuck’s eyes glinted mysteriously under the dim lighting of the streetlight. “You really want to have this conversation after what happened to us last time?”

“It’s not like you’re giving me any options. I just want us to be like how we used to, not with you acting all awkward and agreeing to every word I said.”

“So you noticed? I thought I was putting a good act.”

“Haechannie.” It was almost like a plead, the way she said his name. “I’m tired of seeing you like this. Like you’re in pain and I’m the one who caused it. So if you have anything to say, say it right now. What are you so upset about, exactly?”

He took his time contemplating, he really did, but he hadn’t finished thinking everything through before his emotions took control over him again, making him blurt out, “I don’t know, I guess I’m just pissed because you seem fine the next day after that kiss happened and I’m over here losing sleep still trying to sort out my goddamn feelings for you.” There was a pause, as he tried to catch his breath, but before she could form a response, he questioned, “Do you ever feel something for me, Noona?”

She swallowed. “I don’t know, I’m—”

“Be honest.”

Another pause, where silence struck like a hurricane. “Maybe I did have feelings for you in the past,” she finally admitted and his eyes gleamed in both joy and anticipation, “But even then, I wasn’t sure because we grew up together, Haechannie. We slept on the same bed, we even took baths together. I wasn’t sure of how I felt because I never had this kind of relationship with anyone before.” She sighed, rubbing the side of her temple. “And with you constantly making me confused on whether you had feelings for me or not also didn’t make this any easier for me.”

“What about now?” It was the question that mattered the most to him. “How do you feel about me now?”

“Haechannie—”

“No, listen to me.” He stepped forward, wrapping his lean fingers along her wrist. “Remember that time on the beach when you dared me to be romantic and I told you I loved you? I think you know by now that I wasn’t pretending that night—”

She averted her gaze, trying to pull her hand away. “Please stop—”

“Noona.” He cupped her cheeks with both hands, lifted her face so she could only look at him. “I still feel the same way about you. It never changed, no matter how hard I tried to ignore it because I cared about our friendship as much as you do, but—”

“Stop.” Lying a hand on his chest, she tried to push him away. “It isn’t right. You’re not my soulmate, we shouldn’t do this—”

“I don’t care about your fucking soulmate!”

The sudden roar that erupted from his mouth was echoing loud in her ears, making her freeze on her feet, with her hands shivering against his chest. She looked frightened and it tore him to pieces. Cursing under his breath, he stepped away, his skin no longer making contact with hers.

“I just…” He started and failed instantly, wanting to caress her cheek, embrace her to soothe her down but was too scared of startling her again. “What I want to say is that I care about us. I care about you more than I have ever cared about anyone else in my life.”

“I care about you too, Haechannie.” There was a quiver in her voice as if she was on the verge of crying. “I care so much about you.”

“Why does it feel to me like you’re about to contradict your own words?” There was no answer and the tension was so thick, it felt like he was suffocating. “I saw your reaction at that time when we were at the beach. I know how you wished parts of my confession were true and I’m telling you that all of it was—I meant every word I said that night.”

“Stop—”

“I love you, Noona,” he immediately said, before she took his chance in answering. “I really do, now more than ever. So if you still have feelings for me, please—”

“I don’t.”

Donghyuck’s jaw fell slacked on his face. “What?”

“I’m sorry, Haechannie. I’m sorry for leading you on, but I don’t. I don’t feel the same way.” She was looking everywhere but his eyes, her voice was clouded with emotions, becoming unclear as seconds went by. “I care about you and I do love you but only as a brother and a friend. I can’t give you more than that.”

He stood still in silence, clenching his jaws. “Can’t or won’t?”

“It doesn’t matter.” She shook her head frantically. “Look, we have soulmates for a reason. Even if we both give in and accept our feelings, what if it doesn’t work out?”

“I don’t care, I’m willing to try.”

“Well, I’m not. I care about our friendship too much. I don’t want anything to ruin what we have now. Especially after I meet my soulmate and you meet yours.”

Donghyuck could feel himself slowly withering away. “So you just want us to go back to how we were? After this?”

“Yes.” He didn’t have to see her to know she was spilling tears from her eyes. It was already spoken clear in her voice. “I-if that’s okay with you.”

And if he was much more mature, maybe he would’ve been able to let everything go. Maybe he would’ve been able to step forward and twist his fingers around the strands of her hair, cradling her gently in his arms and whisper, “Of course. I’ll always be here for you.” But that wouldn’t be him. And he was so tired of being someone else this whole time, trying to hide how he really felt for her.

So, underneath the darkness and the silence of the space that was hanging between them, he told her, “No, I don’t think we can go back to how we were.” And even as he watched her cry, covering the sobs that threatened to fall from her lips with her palm, he said, “I’m sick of pretending, Noona. So if I can’t have you that way, I don’t think I can be your friend and do nothing but sit there, watching you slip away into another man’s arms. I’m not as good of a person as you think I am. And as long as we’re both selfish with what we want—with you wanting to keep our friendship together and with me wanting you that way—this is as close as we can get.”

“What—” Her shoulders were shaking with every breath she took. “Why does it have to come to this—I—”

“Make your decision now.” His voice was loud and clear, making him surprised by how steady he sounded despite all the storms swirling in his chest. “Be with me or push me away. Your choice.”

Tears were spilling down her cheeks as her eyes grew wide, staring at him with parted lips but only whimpers could be heard. He knew how ruthless he was being, and he felt sorry for making her stand in this position.

So, with a heavy heart, he walked away.

***

Days passed by in silence, and they turned to weeks, and months, and when he finally had the bravery to reply to her words with sentences longer than, “I’m doing fine,” and “Sorry for the late response, I had things to do.” It was already several months after his graduation and he was moving out of the place he called home into his dormitory that stood hundreds of kilometers away from her place.

He was nineteen and she was twenty, and he had never loved anyone else while she was tangled deep in her lover’s arms.

And it was maybe his fault because he was the one who pushed her away. She’d asked him to take a day off college so they could fly back to their hometown and celebrate his birthday together but he declined, making random excuses that sounded like a train of lies to her ears but she took notice of his tone and forced out a laugh.

“Then maybe I’ll see you when my birthday comes up?”

“Sure.” But it wasn’t a promise. He thanked her for the present she gave him but ending his call shortly before she even asked about his day.

He sent her a birthday present—a book that she once loved to read as a child, but was thrown away by her mother by accident—and he received five missed calls from her and nine different texts, begging him to answer her calls but Donghyuck was busy burying his fingers deep inside his locks and yanking at the roots with one hand, and rubbing the unspilled tears from his eyes with his other one as he sat on the edge of his bed, swallowed by the darkness of his room.

And he began to fear the night when exhaustion would consume every part of his body and invisible hands began to press his eyelids down until he fell asleep and woke up in her memories. It was painful enough for him to not be able to see himself as often as he used to, and it was torture when Jaemin began to take his place, forcing Donghyuck to stand in the background and watch as he planted his lips on the pair that should’ve belonged to him. He had to hear her gasp Jaemin’s name between kisses, had to see her card her fingers through his sandy blonde hair, had to see her watching him with dazed eyes and swollen lips.

Donghyuck always willed himself to wake up and he found himself breathing hard when he did.

That night, another memory occurred and it was when she shared her first kiss with Mark. They were at her dorm, her roommate was away and she pulled him by the hand to walk deeper into her room. Mark seemed awkward, like how he always did, scanning the room and gulping as he noticed how the entire place smelled pleasantly like her.

“Coffee?” She offered, and he nodded. Taking a seat at the side of her bed, he played with his fingers, trying to hide the quiver that sparked in his fingertips. She joined him soon after with two cups of hot coffee on her hands, which he took with a grateful smile.

“Why do you look so nervous?” She questioned between small, shy giggles that wrenched Donghyuck’s heart from how much he missed hearing them.

“I’m not—it’s just—” Mark gulped, tapping his fingers anxiously against the cup. “It’s my first time being in a girl’s room.”

“Haven’t you dated anyone before?”

“I went on a few dates but nothing serious happened. And when I started seeing you in my dreams, I just stopped dating entirely.”

She was about to take a sip of her coffee but stopped mid-air, eyes unblinking. “You were waiting for me?”

He bashfully smiled. “M-maybe…”

Her eyes drooped down, a faint blush smearing her cheeks. She placed her cup down on her nightstand before she turned toward him again and pressed a gentle kiss on his cheek.

“What—” He sputtered, holding the side of his face, his round eyes turning even wider. “What was that for?”

But she didn’t reply. Instead, she leaned in for another kiss, and this time, he answered with his lips instead.

Donghyuck woke up with a pain in his chest, and he felt so sick, so disturbed, that he began to jump down his bed, startling his roommate who was deep in slumber. He snatched his jacket from the floor and closed the door behind him with a small thud. He needed to distract himself so he burst into the night air, not caring if the cold made his teeth chatter behind his lips.

***

His dreams, they became nightmares. And they didn’t stop even when he woke up. He was losing sleep and had the hardest time concentrating on everything. He was putting his best effort to move on, to forget about her existence entirely and he had been successfully avoiding her calls or her pleads to meet up every time a long holiday came up. But how could he forget about her when she kept showing up in his dreams, making him feel jealous, feel pained, with no way of stopping it?

It was a week before his birthday when his mother begged him to come home and celebrate it together with his whole family. Though he was reluctant to go, worrying that he’d probably see her on his way back, he eventually agreed to his mother’s wish. If they ended up meeting each other, maybe it was a sign for him to tell her about these dreams he’d been having of her and see how it would go from there.

It was raining, the third day he spent lounging on the bed in his room. It looked just about the same, but with fewer things and thicker specks of dust. And he kept his curtain closed, not wanting to look at the other side of his window.

A sudden ring of his iPhone sent jolts to his entire body.

It was from an unknown number. He usually wouldn’t respond to it, but there was something in his chest that told him to answer no matter what excuses he came up with.

He slid his thumb along the screen and pressed the phone to his ear, but he did not say a word, waiting for the other person to ignite the conversation.

“Haechannie. It’s me.”

He had a hunch who it was, but hearing the sound of her voice so close to his ear still almost sent him falling to his knees. The words I miss you, I’m sorry I’ve been trying to push you away, but I can’t pretend anymore, I miss you, I miss you so much, I’m going insane threatened to fall from his lips so he kept his mouth shut, not believing in himself just yet.

“I could tell how you wouldn’t pick up if you knew it was me, so I’m using a new number.”

“It’s…” He licked his lips, trying to tame his racing heart. “It’s been a while, Noona.”

“Don’t say that when you’ve been avoiding me for years, Lee Donghyuck. I know you’re home so let me in. It’s pouring outside.”

His grip tightened around his phone. “You’re… here?”

“Yes, idiot. Your mom told me last night that you’re here so I flew back the first thing in the morning to meet you. If you make one more excuse of not wanting to see me, I will literally climb up your wall and kick your window open myself, I swear to God.”

Donghyuck would’ve laughed because it was so her to say things like that whenever she got angry, but he was so overwhelmed with the thoughts of seeing her in person that he tripped over his own feet before he ran down the stairs.

The second he opened the front door and saw her standing on his porch, with her hair a little wet from the rain, all the air nearly left his lungs. She was still wearing her trench coat, a scarf around her neck with her suitcase stood idly next to her. He noticed that she must have returned straight back from the airport, not even spending a second resting in her own house when it was only a few steps away from where she stood.

“Can I come in?” She asked, trembling slightly from the cold. There was a huge urge to embrace her that he almost couldn’t control, to share his warmth and steal all the shivers away from her body. But he swallowed all of his feelings with a hard gulp, and stepped back to let her in with a small nod.

She closed the front door behind her, pressing her spine against it and they both waited in the silence of his house, expecting the other to strike a conversation but neither of them had the bravery to find a word. The ticking sound of the grandmother’s clock in his guest room was loud, matching the thundering sound of his heartbeat.

“Where are your family?” She eventually uttered, peeking at him from behind her bangs.

“Visiting my cousins outside of town.”

“Why didn’t you go with them?”

“Just didn’t feel like going so I told them I was sick.”

“I see…”

And silence struck again. It was so tense, the awkwardness between them and it was beginning to suffocate him. “Noona, I think—”

“Can I hug you?” She spoke in such a quiet voice, but it sent powerful vibrations down his spine. He was busy gawking at her, not sure how to respond and it didn’t matter, because she already took a few steps toward him, wrapping her arms around his neck and sinking her face deep into the crook of his neck.

Donghyuck let out a shaky breath, his arms still dangling weakly on his sides.

“Seems like you’ve lost some weight,” she spoke in whispers, her breath felt like fire on his skin. “Have you been eating well?”

It was hard trying to focus on her voice when the sound of his heart clamoring inside his ribcages was deafening in his ears. He only hummed in response, moving his hands slightly until they rested on the sides of her waist, tense and awkward.

“I really,” she breathed, her voice quivering. “Really miss you, Haechannie.”

It was all too much for him to bear, too many flashbacks, uncontrolled feelings, and hidden emotions washed over him at the same time, making him feel dizzy and emotive. So instead, he focused on what mattered the most. “You’re shivering. We should get you changed.” And he pulled away before she could reply. Noticing how the loss of their warmth on each other’s skin was as painful for her as it was to him, he offered his hand with a timid smile, which she immediately laced together with hers.

He guided her to his room and released her hand to rummage the inside of his closet, trying to find that particular sweater of his that she grew to be fond of. She slid open his curtain to brighten the room though it didn’t do much because the clouds were dark and thick, pouring heavy rain to the earth.

“Here,” he said, handing her his navy blue knitted sweater. “I’ll go outside so you can change.”

She grabbed him by his wrist before he stepped aside. “No, it’s fine, just—” She cleared her throat, didn’t dare to look him in the eyes. “Just turn around for a little bit.”

The old Donghyuck would’ve had a blast teasing her about this, so when he simply turned around, bringing his head down to stare at his feet while scratching his nape from being both shy and awkward, the feeling of loneliness began to consume her heart.

She was losing him. He wasn’t the person she remembered him to be.

“I’m done,” she called when she had finished changing her damp blouse into his sweater. The fabric fell loose around her body, its hem reaching to the middle part of her jean-clad thighs. “You can turn around now.”

Donghyuck slowly turned on his heels, but his eyes were looking everywhere but hers because he knew, once he saw her again wearing his clothing around her body like a lover would, he would lose his common sense.

“It feels familiar, doesn’t it?” She lightly laughed, trying to keep it casual but it felt strained. “I mean, us spending time in your room with me wearing your clothes.”

He tiredly smiled, leaning against the wall. “Yeah.”

“How was your birthday yesterday? I’m sorry for not sending you any present, I wasn’t sure you wanted to receive one from me... Did auntie make you a cake?”

“Yeah. It wasn’t good.”

She tucked a loose strand of her hair, wetting her lips. “You always said that, but you ate all of it.”

He wanted to sneak a glance at her, wanted to be captivated by her beauty just for a split second, but noticing it was best for him to stop. Otherwise, she’d entrap him again. “Yeah… I did.”

“Haechannie.”

“Hmm?”

“Can you look at me, please?”

He tightened his jaw, taking a few seconds in silence to prepare himself before he slowly looked up, peering at her features from behind his bangs.

He had seen her sad before—multiple times, in fact—but it was never like this. She never looked this heartbroken before, and he loathed the fact that, unlike any other times where she cried over anyone else, he was now the reason for such emotion to arise.

And maybe he looked the same to her, as she instantly grew speechless, her fingers tightening around the hem of her sweater. “How… are you?” She asked, and he knew that wasn’t the question she intended to say but maybe she was afraid and uncertain whether her words would inflict more sadness to his eyes more than she already did so far.

“I’m doing well.”

“Have you made any friends at your campus?”

“A few.”

“Ah… Great, then.” She was going insane, she could feel it, and when he never tried to spark a conversation like she did, she began to lose her patience. “Why have you been avoiding me?” Her tone somehow a tad colder this time around.

Donghyuck slipped his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You ignored my calls, you rarely replied to my texts—”

“Yeah, well, I was busy—”

“Two years, Haechannie. You had two fucking years to reach out back to me, and you’re simply telling me you were busy?! If you’re going to lie, lie better!”

“Well, you already have your whole life perfect without me anyway.”

Hot tears began to well in her eyes. “Do you not… need me anymore?”

He looked away, his chest suffocating. “You should leave. Get some rest. We’ll talk la—”

“Stop it!” She cried out, forcing him to look at her in the eyes by the desperate tone in her voice. “Stop acting like this! Stop pretending like you’re not hurting when you are just as much as I am!”

His eyes gleamed in the dim lighting of the room. “Why are you even here?”

She narrowed her eyes, trying to ignore the pain that was about to erupt from her chest. “Is it so wrong for me to see you?”

“I thought we’ve both decided that it’s best if we stay away from each other.”

“You decided.” It was both sorrow and anger that painted her voice. “You decided to stay away from me. I never wanted us to be like this. I’ve been trying to reach out to you and you pushed me away every time, so don’t you dare blame this on me.”

“What do you expect me to do?” He vocalized in outrage, his voice reverberating through the air almost as heavy as the storm that poured outside. “I revealed all of my feelings out to you, asked you to make a choice and you just stood there doing fucking nothing! How do you think that made me feel?”

She stepped back, her hand on her chest. “I—” She fumbled with her words. “It was all so sudden, I didn’t know how—”

“So sudden?!” He threw his head back in exasperation. “I have been trying to tell you that for years, Noona!”

“You flirted with me for years, that didn’t count as—”

“Well, I had to pretend everything was a joke because you always looked like you were seconds away from crying, afraid of ruining our friendship and it made me think that maybe you never really liked me that way at all! I don’t even know how you feel about me now because you’re never honest even with yourself.”

“I…” She nibbled on her lower lip, scared and anxious. “I don’t know whether I—”

“Of course, you don’t,” he spat out, scoffing loudly. “You never do. That’s what I fucking hate about you. You’re such a coward. You don’t want to be with me but you keep coming back to me, making me feel things I shouldn’t, making me yearn for you again when I literally spent every second of my life trying to forget you even exist. I had to watch you slip away from my arms twice as if it wasn’t enough for you to hurt me one time—”

“I never meant to hurt you—”

“But that’s all you fucking do!” Donghyuck unintentionally slammed the side of his fist against the wall out of sheer fury, making her take a step backward, terrified. “Do you know how much you’re driving me insane from seeing you here within my grasp but not having the right to touch you in the way I want to? Just how fucking selfish can you be?!”

Tears were forming in her eyes, but he wasn’t sure whether they emerged from sadness or anger. “I’m selfish?! I’m trying to do the right thing! You know how things can go bad if we ignore the signs and deny our soulmate, so even if I agree to be with you, what if things don’t work out and we end up—”

“I’m so fucking tired of soulmates.”

Donghyuck had her body pressed against the wall, his hand on her face and his lips on hers, meeting together in a heated kiss. She closed her eyes in reflex, her fingers clutching tightly to the fabric of his shirt, gasping into his mouth when he pressed harder. Donghyuck felt like a flame, scorching every inch of her skin that was connected to his and she let herself grow weak, succumbing to the fire that was about to devour her whole.

When he let go, the tip of his nose was still grazing against hers, his fingertips holding her by the jaw, while his other hand was secured tightly around her waist.

“I’m giving you another chance to make your decision.” He breathed out, hot breath caressing her skin. “Be with me or push me away. Your choice.”

Her eyes were half-lidded, her breathing ragged and Donghyuck could count her eyelashes if he wanted to. It was torture to keep this little space between them because to him, they were like magnets, both desperately drawn to each other, wanting to consume one another.

Maybe it was like that for her too, because when she took her next breath, she had her fingers around the collar of his shirt, tugging it down so their lips met once again in a searing kiss.

It felt complete—no, it felt more than complete. It made him feel infinite. Every touch, every gasp, every little whimper that came out of her mouth made him feel alive and he wanted more, he wanted everything. He wanted her.

And to her, she was drawn to him like a moth to a flame, and it didn’t feel like she was doing something sinful, something forbidden. Everything felt right, the way her body fit his perfectly, the way he moved his lips against her, with the touch of their tongues nearly sending her down to her knees.

“Haechannie,” she breathed heavily as he ran his lips down her jaw to her neck, before he moved back up again, melding their lips together because he couldn’t waste any second longer being apart from her.

The desperate call of his name rendered him powerless so he pressed himself against her harder, embracing her better so they could hold on to each other. And by the relieved sigh she made as she circled her arms around his neck, her fingers finding a home in his hair, she must have felt the same.

“I love you,” he murmured against the supple skin of her neck, making a messy ponytail out of her hair to expose more skin. “Fuck, Noona, I’ve never loved anyone else but you.” He lifted her body up the wall, leaving her with no choice but to tangle her legs around his waist for balance, his hands sliding dangerously along her thighs as she connected their mouths again.

Donghyuck’s voice was deep and hoarse, foreign to her ears but she loved it. She loved everything new she found about him, as much as she had loved everything about him in the past. She knew she wasn’t being fair; she knew it wasn’t a good idea to hold him like this, but it felt so terrifyingly good and there was not a part of her mind and body that shouted for her to stop. He was her puppet master, plucking on her strings, and she didn’t mind being tangled under his fingers.

She flinched when she felt him pressing his hips against her, pinning her against the wall and he noticed as she moaned a bit louder against his mouth, pulling a similar groan from the back of his own throat. The sound of her lustful cry made him go absolutely insane and not familiar with his own strength, he carried her to the bed, making her yelp in shock and wrapping her legs and arms around him tighter in the fear of falling.

But the way he laid her down on his bed was surprisingly gentle, sliding down a pillow underneath her head before he dipped his face down, pressing a warm kiss on her temple. The sudden change of pace made her blush, cheeks blooming red as she became conscious of how he gazed at her features—how the previous loneliness in his eyes was replaced with both felicity and uncertainty, asking for her sign to stop or continue with everything.

She swallowed her breath when he stood on his knees, pulling his shirt over his head, his silver necklace glinting faintly under the soft glow of thunder that flashed on the other side of the window. She flinched, not from the fear of lightning, but from the way his vulnerable eyes were filled with need and affection. She had once told him that Jaemin made her feel wanted—made her feel desired—and she thought that was really the case, until she saw the look Donghyuck gave her and suddenly everything that Jaemin did felt pale in comparison.

Donghyuck needed her like a drowning man needed air.

So when he bent down and kissed her again, she felt like he was unraveling her soul, stripping her naked both her body and her mind, and as if she was a blank canvas, he cast iridescence on her skin, drawing lines with his fingertips and painted a spectrum of colors with his lips.

As a man of passion, Donghyuck’s kisses were strangely tender but it elicited as much fire, if not more, as any fervent kisses she had ever shared with the other two men in her life.

“Noona,” he abruptly stopped, eyes unfocused as he broke away, expanding the space between them but only for a few inches. “You’re not regretting any of this, are you?” It was the question he’d been dreading to ask, but he had to before she ended up living with guilt. “I told you to make a choice before but…” He cupped her cheek, rubbing his thumb against her skin in such a soothing manner that she would’ve probably fallen asleep to it if her heart wasn’t racing like this. “But if you feel like this is not what you want, you can back out anytime. I’m not going to force you, and I’m not going to leave you even if you push me away now. I’ll still be your friend, I promise, so it’s okay.” He smiled but the only thing it conveyed was sadness. “It’s okay if you want to put an end to this. It’s okay if you don’t want to be with me. It’s your choice.”

She wasn’t sure why, but she felt like crying. “Well, I’m not okay with it.” She ran her thumb along his lower lip, in a paper-thin-like touch. “I think you’ve noticed by now that I…” It was too much. It really was too much for her to admit it without being flustered.

“Tell me,” he pleaded, gently taking her wrist when she was about to cover her face with her hands. “Tell me how you feel about me. Please.”

She shook her head, heart thumping loudly. “I can’t—It’s embarrassing. You already know how I feel anyway.”

“But I need to hear you say it.” He kissed her palm, leaning against her touch like how a little kitten would. “Please?”

Her voice was quivering when she spoke. “I love you, Haechannie.”

He’d heard her say those words many times in his life, but only now, they felt different in his ears. And almost like a prisoner being released from his chains, he nearly whimpered in bliss. “Y-you do?”

She shakily nodded her head once. “You were right. I’m a coward. I’m too afraid of losing what we have, not realizing that we can actually become so much more.”

He smiled, small but lovingly. “And it’s fine even if I’m not your soulmate?”

She was entranced with the way he kissed her fingertips one by one. “I don’t care.”

“I love you too, Noona.” His tongue was wet and slick when she felt it against her earlobe, his voice sounding dangerously close and sultry, even when his words were innocent. “You don’t know how glad I am to finally hear you say this. I’ve tried so hard to move on but I couldn’t. It’s just—for me—” his lips hovered above hers again, and she felt his whispers directly on her skin. “There’s no life without you.”

She carded her fingers through his hair, pushing back his bangs until she could gaze directly into his eyes. “There’s no life without you too, Haechannie.”

As they were connected, both their bodies and minds, it felt like nothing mattered anymore. They already had what they needed, already owned what they craved, already found what they were searching for. Donghyuck was sheathed deep inside her, his kisses were wet and languid, passion never dissipating no matter how many times he had tasted her.

It never felt unnatural, never felt awkward, and there were no uncertainties whenever their skin made contact. It was almost as natural as breathing, and though they needed more experience in some parts, they were already content with everything that they shared. Every breath, every gasp, every moan was sending heat to every inch of their bodies, making Donghyuck’s bangs stick with sweat and her cheeks reddening from his feverish touches.

When it finally ended, both still feeling lightheaded from reaching their highs, orgasms hitting hard like waves in a storm, Donghyuck was shaking, murmuring both expletives and praises against the skin that covered her heart, making her shiver.

“What is it?” She questioned tenderly, gentle fingertips caressing his cheekbone. “You’re trembling.”

But he didn’t answer, laying his head down on her chest, her heartbeat vocalizing faintly against his eardrums. He had never felt so happy, so complete, so perfect, and it was all because of her.

“I’m…” he exhaled heavily, lost for words as he sank deeper in his own elation. She curled her fingers around his jaw, lifting his face so they could peer into each other’s eyes.

“Haechannie.”

“Yeah?”

“I know it’s late, but…” She beamed at him. “Happy birthday.”

And he kissed her with so much fervor, his eyebrows adjoined in passion and he whimpered against her mouth, a tear slipping from the corner of his eye and she smiled, hugging him close because finally, after seventeen years had passed, they truly found each other.

He was her life, and she was his, two different souls united into one.

***

Almost an hour passed by with them just enjoying each other’s company as they laid side-by-side on the bed, with Donghyuck idly sucking more bruises to her skin and her panting his name against his pillow. He was trailing his fingertips from her nape down to the dip of her spine as she laid with her stomach pressed against his sheets, slightly quivering from his touch.

Both of them lacked the energy to get dressed or wash their sweat away from before, and instead just dwell further in each other’s warmth, basking in the soft glow of the sunset that had replaced the storm.

“Why did we wait so long to do this?” She asked with her cheek pressed against the pillow, looking at him with drowsy eyes.

He snorted. “Because you were too big of an idiot to notice and too goddamn stubborn to—”

“Forget I asked.”

Donghyuck grinned to himself but she soon felt it on her skin. “I’m still sweaty, Haechannie, get off me.”

“No way, I want to enjoy this,” his nose was skimming against the skin of her back. “It’s not every day I have a naked lady lounging on my bed. In fact, I’ve never had one. Ever.”

“Yeah?” She turned around, covering her bare chest with his quilt as she looked at him. “What about your girlfriends?”

“What girlfriends?”

“You know, the ones you got together with in high school. You told me you had sex with them.”

“Oh.” His playful smile grew sheepish. “I lied about it.”

“What? Why?”

“I was just trying to make you jealous. You were hanging out with Jaemin and I was so pissed!”

“I can’t believe how lame you were.”

“Hey, I was desperate!”

“So…” She slowly said, drawing her name on the square of his chest with her fingertip. “I’m your first?”

“You’ve always been, on everything.”

Her breathing tattered, blood rushing to her face, turning it scarlet. She moved her hand to his neck, playing with the silver necklace and the oval locket with her fingers. “I can’t believe you still wear this.”

“It’s the best present I’ve ever had,” he replied, leaning close until their foreheads meet one another. “From the best girl I’ve ever met in my life.”

“Stop saying things like this, I can’t handle it.” And she hooked her finger around his necklace, dragging him down to close the gap between them.

They both smiled into the kiss but what was once innocent and chaste, became deep and ardent in a matter of seconds. Donghyuck’s fingers were slipping underneath the comforter that she used to cover her body, feverish skin meeting her cold one and he looked at her in concern. “Are you cold?”

“Just a little bit.” She chuckled awkwardly before it was replaced with a gasp when he pulled her up by her waist and positioned her on his lap. He snatched the quilt away from her in one quick motion, leaving her naked and exposed before she toppled down to his chest. His hands found their way back around her waist, drawing her close so every inch of her skin was pressing against his. His warmth began to seep into her, and he draped his blanket around their bodies again.

“Better?” He looked up, his teeth peeking behind his grin that was both teasing and shy at the same time.

She melted into his touch, wanting to taste his lips again. “Better.”

She was distracted with the way he ran his tongue along her lower lip, sneaking in as soon as she granted him entrance to her mouth, but found her focus back when his hands start to roam around her chest. She immediately covered herself with both hands, embarrassed out of her mind.

“Why are you covering yourself?” He asked, chuckling faintly though his cheeks were reddening by the second. “You were fine when we had sex before. Let me see.”

“I just remembered that you once said I have small boobs.”

Donghyuck’s jaw hung loosely on his face. “That—I was just joking! I love your boobs—I love every—” He thought hard for the right word and failing miserably. “—every aspect of them, how soft they are, the little moles you have, and how they jiggle when—Why are you laughing?!”

But she couldn’t stop cackling even when he was pouting about it, complaining that he was being serious. “I’m sorry,” she said, wiping a tear out of her eyes. “It’s just you were so dominatingly sexy before when you slammed me against the wall, and now you’re acting like such a dork, which is also cute but—” and she laughed again, covering her mouth with her fingers which he immediately took and replaced them with his mouth, turning her soft chuckles into pleading moans.

He cupped her breasts with his palms, groaning at the back of his throat from how perfect they felt under his hands, massaging them gently until she had to break away from the kiss, nibbling at her lip to contain her whimpers.

Donghyuck trailed more kisses down from her neck to the valley of her breasts, before he attached his soft, plump lips on her sensitive nub, making her arch her back in response. He peeked at her reaction from under his eyelashes, almost losing his mind from the sight of how alluring and sinful she looked. “Does it feel good?” He knew the answer but he needed her praise. He had waited for all this time to have her crying out his name in pleasure like this, he guessed he’d allow himself to be selfish just for tonight.

She shakily nodded, eyes tightly shut in pleasure but he didn’t stop until he had her whimpering, “Yes, yes,” into his ears.

“So about what you said before,” he continued, nipping at her sensitive skin with so much fervency, enough to leave purple bruises by the morning. “About me being dominatingly sexy. Is that the kind of thing you’re into?”

She shivered, looking like she wanted to escape his touch. “I—I don’t—” she stammered, having the hardest time finding her words especially when he had one of his eyebrows raised tauntingly. “Stop teasing me.”

“Guess being friends for seventeen years doesn’t really mean you know everything.” He chuckled, sliding down his hand between her thighs but stopping before he got too close, asking for permission. “Can I touch you here?”

She bit her lip, nodding slowly.

“Can we… have sex again?”

“Stop asking questions, and just do it.”

Their second time was much slower, more playful with a lot of teasing and exploring and it was the kind of sex that felt more like them, reminding them of how carefree they were back in their childhoods days, or the flirty banter they shared during their small escapes every summer. It took them hours to be satisfied with one another, at least until the next day started, that by the time they were finished, it was already nighttime. But even after they were dressed back in their previous clothes, they still found their way back in each other’s arms.

“I wasn’t sure to ask about this before but,” Donghyuck snuggled closer from behind, his lips almost brushing against her nape when he spoke in both curiosity and uncertainty. “How are things with Mark?”

“It’s so like you to ask about stuff that mattered after you got what you want,” she responded, making him pout and cower behind her. “We’re still going strong, actually. He said he’d ask me to marry him after we both graduated from college.”

He froze, literally stopped breathing. “What?”

“I’m kidding.” She turned around, tapping his cheek. “You’re cute.”

“That’s not funny.”

“I’m sorry.” And when she laughed, he pouted even harder. “Well, truth is, we broke up over a month ago.”

“What—” Shock filling his eyes. He thought he had known everything about her from seeing her memories in his dreams but maybe he hadn’t seen anything yet. “Why didn’t you tell me this?”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” She rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t aware we were on speaking terms what with you avoiding my calls and ignoring my texts.”

“You’re never gonna let me live this down, are you?” He sighed, playfully biting her at the part where her neck met her shoulder. “Why did you break up with him anyway? I thought soulmates were meant to be together, not that I’m complaining though.” He couldn’t help but display his cheeky grin. “I’m actually happy—it’s the happiest moment in my life, dare I say.”

She scoffed, shifting on the bed again so she wouldn’t have to face his annoying grin. “It certainly not the happiest moment in my life but as long as you’re happy, I guess.”

“I’m sorry, come here.” Donghyuck sneaked his hands around her body, hauling her toward him until he could press his chest tightly against her back, burying his nose in her hair. “So, what happened?”

“Well…” She huffed, leaning against him. “Mark and I… We’re so similar in a lot of ways and I find myself more compatible with him than anyone, which feels kinda weird, if I’m being honest. Like, we share the same thoughts, we make the same decisions, we listen to the same music, love the same movies and everything. Unlike when I’m with you—” she stopped when she felt his arms tightening around her. “Wait, before you start fuming, listen to me first.” He sighed but nodded his head twice before he landed his face on her hair again. “What I meant was when I’m with you, we argue, we tease each other, we fight over stupid little things so we can look back on it in the future and have a good laugh from realizing how dumb we were being. And that’s what makes it exciting for me. You make me laugh, you make me upset, and when you suddenly disappeared from my life it was like…” she tried, but whether she was too shy or too confused to say the words, Donghyuck wasn’t sure so he helped.

“Like a part of you was missing?” He offered with a smile, nuzzling closer to her.

“Well, I don’t want to sound that cheesy but for the lack of better words, yes,” she admitted. “I just really couldn’t stop thinking about you. I missed you in the way I’ve never missed anyone before, like I kept seeing you anywhere I go. Whenever a Michael Jackson song came up in my playlist, I thought of you. Whenever I saw a movie, I remembered how you would always scrunch your nose in protest when something didn’t make sense. And I felt awful every time because I wasn’t supposed to think about you at all. I was supposed to think about Mark, and how he always tried to make me feel comfortable in his arms, kept asking me whether the room temperature was too cold or too hot, whether I needed another cup of coffee or—”

“He actually sounds pretty nice,” he murmured against her skin. “I’d date him if I were you.”

“Exactly, he’s too perfect.” She turned around, placing both hands on his shoulders. “He’s too perfect, Haechannie. That’s my problem.”

Haechan snorted but he also seemed amused. “This is why boys have problems trying to understand girls.”

“Doesn’t it make sense, though? You have so many flaws—like, so many. You have more flaws in you than your strengths.”

He flatly stared back. “Thanks.”

“But that’s what makes you interesting.” She reached out a hand, playing with the waves of his hair. “That’s what makes you adorable.” When she noticed him turning slightly red on his cheeks, she chuckled awkwardly. “Or maybe I’m just a freak who has a kink for annoying brats, I don’t know.”

Donghyuck smiled softly in return, rubbing his thumb in comforting circles on the skin below her eye. “Well then, I’m glad you have a kink for annoying brats like me.” And when they kissed, he could feel her grinning against his lips so he tore himself away, frowning. “What?”

“I didn’t realize you were this sappy and clingy.” She giggled, pecking his nose. “You really love kissing, don’t you?”

“I love kissing you,” he corrected, slightly wincing at the thought of the previous kisses he’d shared with his former girlfriends. “There’s a difference. And I’m not sappy, I am full with affection.” She teased him with a loud, exaggerated yawn but he ignored her, focusing on the things that hadn’t been spoken. “So, you broke up with him because he was too nice? How did you even tell that to him?”

“No.” Her tone suddenly became heavy. “We broke up because he no longer had faith in me. It was not long after he read my journal.”

“What journal?”

“Okay, now, don’t laugh, but I’ve been keeping a journal lately to help me think and…” He couldn’t see her face, but he could tell she was flushed. “Well, figure things out. So I wrote a lot of things about you, about us, about how I truly felt about you but couldn’t be with you because of the things we’ve been through. And the fact that I’ve been dreaming about you—”

“What?” His breath hitched in his throat. “Like a soulmate dream or just your regular wet dream about me?”

It was vexing the way he sounded so serious when he asked her the most insensitive question at times like this. “It felt similar to how I dreamt about Mark which is weird because how can that be? What does that even mean? I can’t have two soulmates at once, can I?”

Donghyuck contemplated in silence, unsure of his thoughts but eventually made his decision. “Okay,” he shifted his weight, now sitting on the bed, and gesturing for her to meet his eyes. “I have a secret I’ve been wanting to tell you but since we weren’t on speaking terms—”

“Thanks to you—”

“—yeah, thanks to me. I decided to keep it a secret. And I realized that I didn’t want to tell you that because I wanted you to figure out by yourself that you have feelings for me.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve been having dreams about you too.” He unconsciously reached out for her hand, lacing their fingers together. “I saw your memories. I knew that they weren’t mine because I’ve dreamt about the time you spent with Jaemin and Mark, but I didn’t say anything because I want you to fall for me for who I am, not because I have connections to your dreams or because it turns out I’m your soulmate.”

She gaped in disbelief. “How long have you been dreaming about me?”

His voice grew quiet. “Since that night when we kissed.”

Her mouth was shaping into a silent ‘o’ but no words came out. She was deep in her thoughts and Donghyuck had to squeeze her hand to bring her out of her reverie. “Noona?”

“So it wasn’t just because of the kiss, was it? That morning when you were acting weird, asking me about my feelings?”

He nodded reluctantly. “I thought you were experiencing the same thing, but then you told me you had another dream about Mark, and not soon after, I saw him with my own eyes.”

Something befell on her face, eyes wide in realization. “So, it was true—what I saw in my dream. You’d met Mark way before I did but you never told me about him—you even told him to stay away—”

“Yes, but—” He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “I know that was a total dick move, but—”

“You had no right, Hyuck.”

The way she called him by his real name made him freeze for a split second. “You’re… really upset about this, aren’t you?”

She tried not to scowl at him harder than she already did. With a sigh, she massaged her temple. “Well, I guess I should’ve seen that coming. You’ve always been acting like that anyway. You and your possessive, competitive ass.”

“But,” he said, smiling bashfully. “Will you love me and my possessive, competitive ass for the rest of your life?”

“One step at a time, Haechannie.” She pressed her palm against his face, wiping his annoying smirk away. “One step at a time.”

***

Unbeknownst to them, it turned out that being in an intimate relationship didn’t really change the way they behave around each other. They still fought over the little things but always agreed on the things that mattered. They shared loving words as much as they had done numerous times in the past, only this time they shared them between lustful gasps and lascivious groans.

Their long-distance relationship was hard during their years in college as they went to different campuses in different cities, but only because they couldn’t feel each other’s lips and breaths on their skins, so every time a long holiday came up, they would spend it somewhere where they could be alone, tangled in each other’s arms, moaning terms of endearments laced with desperation and urgency against the sheets.

It was funny how they kept having dreams about each other’s memories, even after they admitted their feelings out loud. Every morning whenever they were apart, they would send text messages, describing the memories they saw in their dreams, that it became some kind of a new habit for them. It was harmless most of the time, but Donghyuck became unreasonably jealous more often than not, whenever he saw Jaemin or Mark in her memories. He would spout out hateful words, calling their names with degradation, and she would sigh and wave him off, being the mature one in the relationship.

She had a theory about why he was dreaming about her, and why did her dreams change from Mark’s memories into his. She said it had something to do with their feelings, that if they loved someone so dearly, their dreams began to change from seeing the soulmate they were originally matched with, to the person they truly loved. And if the feelings were mutual, they would begin to dream about each other. Donghyuck didn’t pay too much attention to it, because it didn’t matter to him. Soulmates or not, dreams or no dream, he’d still love her with all his heart.

They kept their relationship a secret because they knew how their parents believed in soulmates and didn’t want to make them worry. But whenever they had sleepovers in his house, leaving their bedroom door open as instructed, keeping secrets became torture because Donghyuck always found a way to pepper playful kisses on her cheek. And playful kisses always turned perilous when they fell on her lips, and once the tip of their tongues met in curiosity, just wanted to get a glimpse of each other’s taste, there would be no turning back.

So they exchanged deep kisses and sinful strokes under the duvet, closing their eyes shut and pretending to sleep whenever rustling sounds or footsteps could be heard from the other side of their slightly ajar door. Donghyuck would whine something about, “Noona, I can’t do this. I can’t come like this,” even though he grew hotter and larger in her hand, and she would raise a teasing eyebrow with a smirk painting her face. She would then sneak under the sheet, crawl down his body, and blow hot breath against his tip, before engulfing him completely. And Donghyuck would bite into his fist, eyebrows furrowing in ecstasy, eyes shut closed as he imagined the way she would hollow her cheeks around him, with her tongue running along his veins and he would come undone in seconds. “Already?” She would ask with a teasing grin, wiping her tainted mouth with the back of her hand. “I must be super good at this.”

Donghyuck would let her win, just for the night. He could always pay her back the next day, he figured, when his parents were still deep in slumber, and the sun was still hiding somewhere out of sight. He knew how much she loved seeing him between her legs, with his eyes half-lidded and his lips sucking bruises on the inner parts of her thighs. And he loved seeing her face contorted in pleasure every time he brought her tongue deep inside her, remembering her taste better than anything he had ever tasted. Whenever her body started to shake, hands tangling desperately against his locks, her legs closing in on him, he would lick everything that seeped out of her, glance up to meet her eyes, and lick his lower lip in satisfaction before he said, “Already? I must be super good at this.”

“You know,” she sighed one day when she curled against his chest in a hotel room that smelled like cinnamon mixed with sandalwood. “I’ll probably end up getting pregnant with Hyuck Jr from how often we have sex.”

“I don’t mind.” He laced their fingers together, tracing his tongue on the side of her neck before he marked her with his teeth. “Hyuck Jr sounds hella cool.”

“Of course, you don’t mind. You say that to get more sex.” She wiggled away, shoving him gently by the jaw. “Stop that, I have work today.” And as much as he wanted to ignore her, painting more of his signature down her body so everyone would know who owned her, he stopped with a pout because she could really be terrifying when she got angry.

“Noona~ Come back to bed,” he whined, as he watched her stepped down the bed, getting dressed. “I need you to love me again. I’m needy.”

“You are gross, and I am late. Where the hell is my bra?”

Donghyuck grinned in amusement, watching her running from one corner to another only in her panties. “Man, have I told you how much I love your boobs?”

“Stop staring and help me find my clothes!”

She soon collected every piece of her clothing back without his help as he just kept lazing around on the bed, giggling every time she tripped over something.

“Noona.”

“Hmm?”

“Have you ever thought about being this intimate with me back then?” Donghyuck flipped over to his stomach, crossing his arms idly on top of his pillow before he dipped his chin between them. “Before we got together. Have you ever thought about kissing me?”

Her cheeks were flushed. “W-what kind of question is—”

“I need to know whether you were as crazy as I was about you.” His smile was both teasing and gentle. “Please?”

“Fine.” She eventually succumbed with a sigh. “Remember back then when you said you were going on a date with that girl you’d been seeing for two weeks? Not sure why, but when I thought about you kissing her, I was also thinking about you kissing me.”

“You did?” He gaped, mouth wide open. “Way back then? And you still went out with those douchebags instead of being with me?” He protested, sinking his face in his pillow as he muffled his whine. “Noonaaaa~”

“It was just a fleeting thought! It wasn’t anything that serious.” She put on her stockings, having the hardest time focusing from all the embarrassment she had to endure. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Well, now that I know you’ve been thinking about me that way for quite some time, what kind of things did you imagine us doing?” And when he didn’t answer right away, lost for words, she added with a sly smirk. “Don’t tell me you jacked off while thinking about me.”

He was good at controlling his expressions, but his ears betrayed him right away from how red they were turning. “No comment,” he muttered, sinking half of his face into his pillow.

She rolled her eyes, snorting. “Well, that’s fair.”

“What about the future? Have you ever thought about our future together?” The sudden question made her gaze back at him. “What do you see happening to us in ten years?”

She was fiddling with the buttons of her blouse, but her mind drifted somewhere else. She had thought about it. Thought about growing old with him. Thought about them getting married, have a child—or maybe three. Thought about how nervous and panicky he would get when her water broke, and how whiny he would be whenever she asked him to do house chores but ended up doing everything perfectly. She had thought about how cute he’d look as a father, telling a little boy—who looked exactly like him—during his first try at riding a bicycle that it’s okay to cry if it hurts when you fall because daddy is going to hug you and make the pain go away, okay?

She had thought about it, more often than not, but he had just graduated from college and she was in her first year working as an intern in a high-tech company. They still had a lot of things going on in their lives. Maybe he wasn’t ready to settle down yet. Maybe he needed time.

“Babe?” He called. “You’ve been quiet for a while.”

“You want an honest answer?”

“Yes, please.”

“I see you growing bald from all of those hair products you use.”

“Why you little—”

***

“What’s this?” She questioned as he slid a little black box with a red bow wrapped around it—a spitting image of the gift she had presented to him a few years back—into her hand. She remembered the joke he made that night, so she mirrored his action, faking a gasp while squealing, “No way, you’re proposing to me? But honey, I’m already carrying your child!”

He laughed, a bit bashful and awkward, but he understood her joke. “But wait, if you’re seriously carrying my child, I will hate you for the rest of my life for breaking the news like this.”

“I’m not, calm down.” She chuckled, and they walked next to each other again, enjoying how peaceful the Han River was at night, with cherry blossoms petals dancing in the wind.

“Are you cold?” He asked though she was already wearing multi-layered clothes.

“What, are you gonna wrap your coat around me?”

“Nah, just asking. I’m more sensitive to cold than you anyway.”

“Thanks.” She rolled her eyes before she focused back on the tiny present. “What is this for? Our anniversary is still a month away.”

“Just shut up and open it.” He sniffed from the cold, tucking his hands deeper inside his coat. “And hurry up. I’m freezing. I need you to warm me up.”

“I swear to God, can’t you at least be romantic for five minutes?”

“Okay, five minutes. After that, we’ll run back home and have hot, dirty sex.”

She scowled at him which he returned wholeheartedly with a playful kiss on her cheek. She opened the box and smiled when she saw a similar oval locket necklace that matched the one he wore around his neck. “You’re so predictable,” she sneered, taking the necklace in her hand. “But I love it.”

“You haven’t seen what’s inside.” He whispered close in her ear. “I’ll give you a little spoiler. It’s not a picture of us taking a bath together when we were kids but it’s something similar.”

“Ah, I get it. Is it the time when we—” But her sentence ended abruptly in silence at the sight of the words that were engraved on the silver plate.

Will you marry me?

“Haechannie—” And as she turned around to face him, he already had one knee on the ground, taking her hand in his and she could feel shivers running through his fingertips. The soft glow of the streetlight illuminated his face most beautifully, with his bangs fluttering softly under the wind. His chocolate brown eyes were so gentle, so loving, so shy, matching the way his cheeks were reddening with more seconds passing by. When he pronounced her name, it felt like he was casting spells on her, bewitching her with his smile, his voice, his scent, his everything.

“Okay, so I’ve written a whole speech—like, a whole speech,” he repeated, emphasizing with a deeper voice. “And it would probably take me a good half an hour to recite it to you and I don’t think either of us wants to stand here for even a minute longer, so if you can just say yes now, I’ll do the speech later when we’re warm and cozy and naked in our bed.”

She was prepared to cry in joy but she ended up crying from the hilarity of it all. “What the hell was that? Haechannie—”

“I’m serious, Noona, a whole speech!” His teeth were beginning to chatter. “Trust me! Can you just accept my stupid proposal now so we can go home?”

“What is this, a blackmail?”

“Noona~”

She hauled him up to his feet again with both hands. “Well then, let’s go home,” she said, sinking their intertwined hands in her coat’s pocket before she tugged him forward. “If you amaze me with that whole speech of yours, then I’ll say yes.”

Donghyuck grinned. “You got it.”

He kept his promise from the beginning to the end. As they stepped into the little apartment they had been sharing in secret for the last few months, Donghyuck had her pressed against the wall, kicking the front door closed with one foot, before he moved it to slide his knee between her thighs, giving her the friction she needed. Clothes were soon scattered on the floor as they walked and tripped their way to the bedroom, silently shouting gratitudes to the heater that kept the place warm while they were gone.

“So,” she breathed against his mouth, pressing her bare chest to his slightly colder one. “Your speech. Go.”

“In a minute,” he said, smirking as he gestured her to sit on the edge of the bed. When she followed, he kneeled in front of her, spread her legs apart, and licked his lower lip as he stared at her arousal. He pushed his bangs out of his eyes, saying, “I have my priorities and this. comes. first,” and he dipped his head low, hot tongue pressing against her most sensitive part, forcing her to chant his name like a prayer.

But when their feet were tangled around one another on the bed, her hands buried deep in his hair while he raked his fingernails down her spine, Donghyuck murmured the things she didn’t realize she needed to hear. He reminded her of the precious memories they had shared, of the feelings they had even back then when they were too young to understand love, of his promises to make her happy—to make her feel complete and infinite until the end of her days—and of his cute, little fantasies of how the future was going to be for the two of them and their future children.

And as he pounded into her, with hard, deep thrusts, hips moving faster and faster each time she moaned against his ear, driving him to the edge of his sanity, he demanded her to say her answer to his proposal. With pleasure clouding her mind, she could no longer think about any word other than yes.

***

“It has a private pool and a jacuzzi, you’ll love it, babe, trust me,” Donghyuck said into his phone, grinning to himself every time he heard a giggle coming from the other line. “I know I said no surprises this time, but I made the reservation like a month ago so you can’t really blame me for it.”

He silently thanked the florist who handed him a bouquet of red roses before he exited the store and head back to his car. He placed the flowers on the passenger seat next to him, along with two little custom-made alpaca plushies wearing wedding attires, and a tiny white box with a pair of engagement rings inside.

“Look, we’re celebrating your birthday in that resort whether you like it or not,” he said, looking like he was about to burst into laughter in a matter of seconds from hearing her adorable complaints. “It’s not that expensive, I swear! And even if it is, I’m completely fine with using my three months' worth of salary to please my girlfriend.” There was a loud shouting on the other side of the line, and he chuckled, “I’m kidding, Noona. Look, I’m heading to your workplace. I’ll see you in half an hour, okay?” His gaze softened. “Me too. I love you too. Bye.”

When the line got disconnected, Donghyuck leaned against the back of his seat, huffing to the air, his heart banging loud against his chest. The first proposal was all fun and games, but this time, he was serious about it. He had prepared everything, dressed sharply in a black suit and a white buttoned-up shirt, and memorized his lines by heart from practicing it over a hundred times in front of his bathroom mirror a few hours ago. He had taken a day off to make sure everything went perfectly, but now as he seated behind the wheels, about to see her face and the bright, beautiful smile she always threw at him whenever he graced her with his presence, he became so nervous, so afraid of ruining his plan.

A text message arrived, interrupting his thoughts.

There’s a birthday gift on my desk under your name. My co-workers are getting jealous. Why are you so perfect?

And before he could reply, another one came by.

I love you, Haechannie.

All of his concerns began to dissipate from his chest. It would be okay if he ruined one thing or two while undergoing his plan. She would forgive him with a smile. She always did. She had always accepted him the way he was.

So he texted her back.

There’s no life without you, Noona.

And that was the truth. He had only truly lived because of her.

He placed his phone on the dashboard of his car, wore back his seatbelt, and started the engine. His thoughts were so full of her as much as his heart was, that a smile began to grow permanent on his face. Even as he began to drive, he still had the hardest time focusing on everything else but her.

It was until a truck passed at high speed, smashed his car from the side with a loud, thunderous bang, sending tremors of pain all over his body before his thoughts could process the details.

And suddenly, what was once vibrant with a spectrum of colors, his world turned monochromatic once again.

***

438 notes · View notes

cobaincreates · 4 years

Text

eyes on fire

warnings: angst, smut, 18+

count: 9k+

i went ham on this because i personally needed it & yeah. wow look i actually posted something!!! love that for me & you if you enjoy this. feedback wouldn’t hurt love ya :)

listen to this

not my pic— but like imagine him with tHAT hair & fake blood on his face???? cya!

— — —

“woah, woah, wait…you’re telling me you didn’t cry at the thirteenth year?” you asked incredulously, trying not to run the car off the road. you saw the quick shake of the head of the person sitting beside you and tried not to gape. “ryan, we were together for a year and you’re just now telling me that you, not only lied to me, but that you did not cry at the thirteenth year?”

“why is that so shocking? it’s a cheesy movie.” ryan shrugged, lifting his hips in his seat to put his phone back in his pocket.

you rubbed your eyebrow exasperatedly. of course one of the single times you had recommended a movie to him— and he didn’t cry. you couldn’t believe it. “he gets to go back to his mother! how can you not shed a few tears?”

“i don’t know what you want me to say.” he laughed, annoyed.

“you have no heart.” you shook your head and turned your blinker on.

“you already knew that from dating me.” ryan poked you in the side, making your body jerk as you took the turn. “otherwise, you’d still be up my ass.”

“i think you’re mistaken. it was you who was up my ass.” you pointed between the two of you, keeping your eyes on the road.

ryan scrunched his face up and you caught a glance at it, giggling to yourself. it was so easy to mess with each other, even after breaking up. you were glad of that though since ryan was one of your best friends.

college was weird for anybody, especially someone like you who moved all the way across the country to go. california was like a fever dream now that you were back home, on an island. it was only for the weekend since that was about all you could take. it was halloween, although you hadn’t realized until ryan reminded you while on the plane.

now here you were, heading to a halloween party with ryan where he would inevitably meet your friends and people you went to high school with. it wasn’t that you were dreading it, you just had the idea of staying in for the night. especially a night like halloween when you could’ve handed out candy. as if ryan would want to do that in a new place.

“i swear if you throw up on my shoes this year, i’m removing you from my life.” ryan said as he shifted in his seat.

you flashed at another car to go before pressing down on the pedal. “i don’t think i’ll be drinking and driving this time. just don’t puke on my shoes otherwise you’ll be stranded.”

“i knew i shouldn’t have come with you, knowing that you would willingly leave me stranded on a fuckin’ island.”

“don’t test me, ry.” you sang just as you slowed the car along the crowded street. a couple of people dressed up walked in between the car in front of you and yours, heading toward the lively house.

multicolored lights lit up the windows and the outside of the house, the front room bathed in a deep red. you started to feel excitement bubble up in your stomach as you and ryan unfastened your seatbelts. a handful of trick or treaters passed on the walkway, some running around to scare others. you smiled to yourself as you put your car key in your pocket.

ryan’s arm settled around your shoulders as you walked up the driveway, a cool ocean breeze brushing over your face. this was something ryan still continued to do even though you had been broken up for months. it comforted you to know he was still just as protective of you as you were of him. it sort of became an unspoken pact of yours to just keep each other safe at parties or whenever you went out with friends back at school.

“i think we’re a bit underdressed.” ryan’s arm tightened around your neck, pulling you close so he could talk into your ear.

“only a little.” you hummed as you passed multiple people outside who all wore costumes. some zombies, some witches, a clown, even a whoopie cushion. at least you hadn’t come as that.

once inside, ryan’s arm slipped away from you as you both scanned the area. ryan was just curious while you were looking for your friends. the house was big so they’d be anywhere. the voices were much louder than the music, but you could still hear the halloween playlist playing. you stepped out of the way a couple times in the crowded entryway and eventually took ryan’s hand to bring him into the kitchen.

“y/n!” you heard and turned around to find ally, dressed as the infamous annie.

“you look ridiculous,” you laughed, ruffling her red wig and pulling her in for a hug.

“i always commit, don’t i?” she grinned before looking beside you at ryan. “hey! it’s so nice to finally meet you!”

they exchanged a quick hug, ally having seen ryan plenty of times through a phone screen. it was odd seeing them in the same room, right in front of you, but you smiled nonetheless.

“come with me! everyone else is in the front room.” she grabbed ahold of your hand quickly and started to pull you out of the room.

ryan touched your shoulder, making you and ally stop. “i have to pee.” he said, looking from you to ally in question.

“right over there.” ally said, pointing to your left. you could see down the hall that a few people were waiting, leaning against the wall.

moments later you were in your small alcove of friends, checking up on small talk and whatnot. ally was talking in your ear about some gossip in town and you really were listening, but also wondering if ryan would find his way to you or vice versa. your eyes scanned the room curiously, deciphering everyone’s outfits and costumes. you sort of loved halloween for that prospect, getting to be someone else. or something else— you supposed some people just really wanted to be a shark at times.

“she totally snubbed her!” ally said.

“are they talking anymore?” you asked, trying your best to continue the conversation.

“i haven’t heard anything, but the last time i saw them they were totally going at it!” her excitement grew drastically. her hand came down over your wrist. “i think she was saying...”

you were nodding along to ally’s reenactment, her words coming a thousand miles a minute. you completely lost track of what she was saying as you looked across the room at rafe cameron. without even thinking about it, your stomach twisted up and it felt like you couldn’t breathe. maybe there was too many people in the house.

rafe was tilting a bottle against his lips, head leaned back on the wall. he seemed to fit into the empty space beside a large entertainment area, but looked like he didn’t belong at the same time. he was staring right back at you, which in return only made your pulse quicken and your blood run hotter. from what you could tell from his costume, he had fake blood around his mouth that dripped onto a fine pressed white t-shirt. the fabric molded to his chest nicely and you swore you blacked out because the next moment, you saw ally peering at you.

“what?”

a shit-eating grin spread across her face. “you weren’t even listening, were you?”

“i was,” you said abruptly. you were glad of the red lighting as you felt the tips of your ears warm up. “the beginning anyways.”

ally laughed and nudged your side. “i get it, rafe cameron is much more interesting to pay attention to.”

“i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

ally gave you a knowing smile, peering past your shoulder. “come on, let’s go find ryan. you know how these people can easily swallow him up.” her hand grabbed yours again, pulling you directly through the crowd and in the same direction of where rafe was.

you kept your head down as you pushed through the mass of bodies, willing yourself not to make eye contact with him. it was a little difficult given that you had to pass right by him in order to get into the next room. topper, his best friend, had joined him now and he seemed to be talking into rafe’s ear about something. rafe was looking at you instead as you went by and you let out a big breath once you were by him.

there was no history between you and rafe cameron. absolutely nothing. maybe you had passed a paper to him in high school or were put into a group project with him, but that was it. you had never spoken to the infamous boy one-on-one. in high school, rafe was untouchable and you knew you weren’t even in range of his inner circle, or outer for that matter. frankly, you hadn’t even thought about him until now, seeing him again. growing up around someone like him and his family, you knew all of the stories. rafe was a complete and total heartbreaker.

ryan had managed to make some friends while only being at the party for a total of 20 minutes. really, you weren’t all that surprised seeing as that ryan could make friends with a horse. it was just in his nature to connect with people.

you found him in the entryway, sporting a drink in his hand and talking to a girl you recognized from gym class senior year. you couldn’t put a name to her face, but you gave a subtle wave and found a place on the other side of ryan. without looking at you, he put his drink out and you took a few sips before giving it back to him. ally had gone on her own path once you found him, saying she needed to find someone.

leaning against the wall, you pressed your hands against the cool surface. you didn’t bother listening in on ryan’s conversation, not wanting to intrude just in case he was trying to do more than talk. instead, you people watched, your eyes flitting across the party and the red room. the entryway was a deep blue, coating everything completely. you almost felt like you were in a movie of some sort.

you landed on rafe again, this time he was engaging in conversation with topper. he was off the wall, his finger against topper’s chest as he spoke. you swallowed and looked away just as he started to turn his head. part of you hoped he hadn’t caught you.

without thought, you pushed off the wall and went into the kitchen to finally get a drink. your mind felt like it was going 90 miles an hour and you needed to do something to busy yourself. you couldn’t just be a wallflower and people watch all night.

stirring up some concoction in the kitchen, it wasn’t rocket science to figure out who stepped into the room and came over to you. your stomach twisted up, which was a prime indicator. you kept your eyes on your cup and continued making your drink. it wasn’t like you to ignore someone’s presence, but you wanted to prove to yourself that you could handle it.

“y/n y/l/n.” a wave of shivers went up your shine. you had never heard him say your name before.

“rafe cameron.” you said in return and picked up your cup, taking a sip and turning to look up at him over the rim.

he gave you a smile. “long time, no see. you look good.”

your drink went down the wrong pipe, causing you to cough. rafe only smiled more. you cleared your throat and lowered your drink to your side.

“you look...messy.” you noticed the fake puncture marks on his neck, just under them was a lipstick print. you then looked at his mouth, red as red could be, and your ears warmed.

“what are you supposed to be?” you didn’t miss the way his eyes traveled up and down your body and you could’ve sworn they darkened. the kitchen had the normal yellow lights on, so there was no way any lighting altered his irises.

“didn’t have time to dress up.” you shrugged a shoulder. taking another sip, you kept eye contact with him.

“not even for halloween?” he teased and reached over you for another beer. you didn’t even flinch, watching his face move closer to yours. you stared right up into his eyes and help a gasp in. why was he getting you so flustered?

“i got in later than i thought.” you said simply, now breathing easier as he moved away and opened the beer.

rafe nodded, never once looking away from you. now you knew why some people saw him as intimidating. he looked like he would pounce on you at any second.

the next moment as people chatted and moved around the kitchen, rafe was gesturing with his head toward the entryway. “who’s the guy?”

you looked in the direction he meant and found ryan, smiling big while talking to the girl in front of him. he was leaned over her now and you knew that as a good sign. “ryan,” you told rafe.

“boyfriend?” he asked, and you held back the smile, wondering just why he wanted to know that.

“ex.” you didn’t miss the way he seemed satisfied with that answer, the smirk pulling at the corner of his lips.

“interesting.” he said and took another sip. he glanced at ryan while you continued looking at him. his hair was disheveled from its usual slicked back look and you kind of liked it better this way. to put it simply, he looked sexy.

“rafe!” you both looked over at topper who was making his way into the room. he pointed over his shoulder, cup in his other hand. “we’re going down to the beach, come on.”

“yeah, i’ll be right there.” he said and turned back to you, smiling again. topper met your eyes once until you looked up at rafe. “come with me?”

you thought about it, nearly saying yes until you remembered ryan. you didn’t want to leave without telling him, but you did want to see what they were doing on the beach.

“you go,” you nodded toward topper. “i’ll see you around.” with that, you turned and secretly hoped that rafe watched you go.

—

a game of flip cup never hurt anybody. you were well under way in your second round, on the opposite team of ryan and totally kicking ass. ally was beside you, currently downing her drink and proceeding to flip the cup perfectly. it was an innocent game that you had practiced back at school and ryan knew it all too well.

“see you on the floor,” you joked with him and held your cup out to him in cheers. his team was slacking, a current senior at your old high school having trouble flipping the cup.

ryan rolled his eyes, impatience seeping into his features. “i’ll be the one picking you up from the floor, y/l/n.”

you laughed while trying to keep all of the liquid in your mouth. you pushed it down swiftly, setting the plastic cup on the edge of the table and pushing up the bottom with one finger. it landed perfectly.

“fuck yes!” you threw your arms up in victory, high-fiving ally next to you. the game had gathered a group of on-lookers and they cheered for your team. ryan sulked.

a breeze blew over your shoulders, the salty smell filling your senses, as you stood outside. the night went on in full swing, the moon high up and the trick-or-treaters still out, wreaking havoc on the town. a fire in the small metal pit burned steadily, but you weren’t too far away to feel the pulsing heat. after this game, you planned on taking a break.

you had acquired a buzz so far, taking it slow so you could enjoy the party. for the most part you were and honestly, the little glances you caught from rafe were adding to it. he wasn’t trying to be sneaky about it at all and you liked that. it didn’t feel like he was following you around the party, but you did see him wherever you went. you supposed that small conversation in the kitchen had stuck with him, oddly.

standing at the table, you didn’t have to look to know where he was. maybe he thought he was being stealthy, standing near the back door, relaxed, hand in his pocket. all it would take was for you to look slightly to the right, but you held back for the sake of your own sanity. his stares had been driving you crazy. all you wanted to know was what the hell he was thinking. you could guess a couple things with the way he smirked or the way his eyes traveled over you, but you pushed those thoughts deep down. this was rafe cameron.

“my god, ryan you suck!” ally teased beside you now. you looked across the table at ryan who was struggling to flip the cup. ally laughed, holding her gut.

“since when can you not flip a cup?” you asked.

“shut the fuck up!” ryan said, trying to focus. you shook your head at him, grinning stupidly. it took him a couple tries before he finally got it and the turn went to someone else. he looked at you, huffing out a big breath.

“that was sad.” you said, crossing your arms over your chest.

“that was hilarious!” ally said.

“i need a fuckin’ drink.” he sighed.

“don’t quit now! we have to see you lose first.” ally brushed her hair out of her eyes, her annie wig now off and sitting somewhere in the house. just then you caught a glimpse of it through the window, someone trying it on for size. your eyes quickly swept over rafe, still in the same spot.

“i'm not playing anymore games after this.” ryan stated.

“no, come on! you said you’d be on my team for cornhole.” ally whined, the alcohol surely overtaking her senses. she wasn’t usually whiny.

“fuck cornhole.” ryan said just as your team cheered, having won the game. ryan gave you a nod and walked away, heading inside past rafe.

ally caught your attention before rafe could. “i'm freezing. let’s go sit by the fire for a little.”

you happily followed her, licking your lips and still tasting the beer. you both sat down on the cushioned loveseat, ally quickly throwing her legs over your lap. you took them in, setting your hands atop them. the heat was quick to run up your own legs and warmed you up instantly. burrowing yourself further into your sweatshirt, you let your muscles relax.

“i'm not a lightweight, am i?” ally asked.

you looked over at her from the sky, admiring how the fire illumiated the trees. you laughed lightly, patting her shins. “of course not.”

“you fucking liar.” she grinned and kicked your thigh. “i totally am. it’s fine, at least i always have a good time, right?”

“right.” you agreed. “you don’t make a fool of yourself, not at all.”

“shut up.” she laughed. “oh my god, you weren’t there!” she suddenly remembered. “topper had a party at his place a couple months ago and of course, knowing me i willingly went, not having anything else to do nor was my best friend here to entertain me or look out for me…” she eyed you teasingly.

“get on with it.” you rolled your eyes. deep down, you knew ally wasn’t that upset about you being so far away. sure, you had hoped to go to the same school, but she was the only person here who was pushing you to go further away.

“i think i had, maybe, two white claws—”

“oh god.”

ally laughed loudly, her back arching off the couch. “they’re so good! anyways, two in and i start crying about brie larson.”

“what about her?” your body started to shake with laughter even though you had no idea where this was going.

“have you seen her? have you seen that woman? she’s so goddamn beautiful, i can’t cope.” ally said exasperatedly. “it’s not fair that she doesn’t know who i am.”

“maybe someday.” you patted her knee. she started to roll her eyes, but you were quick to stop her. “you never know! crazy shit happens these days.”

ally didn’t say anything, reaching for an itch on her thigh. you looked back up at the sky above and relished in the warmth. suddenly, you felt ally tense up. you lifted your head and looked at her worriedly. she was looking past you and she lifted her legs to sit up.

“crazy shit, indeed. rafe is coming over here. act normal.”

you opened your mouth, no words coming out. she sat up quickly and tidied herself as rafe stopped beside you. you looked up at him, finding that same dumb smile. his fake blood hadn’t even come off yet— what the hell was it?

“hey, rafe.” ally said, way too high pitched.

“hey. mind if i steal y/n for a little?” he brushed his hair back and pointed at you.

“not at all.” ally said too quickly and stood up. “i was just going to get another drink.”

rafe nodded and let her pass. he moved to take her seat beside you as you looked after her, bulging your eyes. she opened her mouth in a fake excited scream, no sound coming out. you swallowed thickly and looked over at rafe. his elbows were perched on his knees, giving you a nice view of his back, muscles tight under his shirt.

“what’s up?” you half-whispered, getting your voice back.

he smiled at you, slightly turning into a smirk. “i was just wondering if you wanted to play a game of beer pong with me. top’s almost finished with his game.” he gestured to the kitchen inside where you could see the boy in question’s arms shoot up as he cheered.

“what’s the catch?” you asked, looking back over at him. why would rafe cameron ask you, specifically, to play a game of beer pong with him if there wasn’t a catch?

“does there have to be one?” he inquired, lifting a brow.

“with you, yes.” you said confidently, not having a clue where it came from. you had never talked to him this way— or ever, you reminded yourself.

rafe stared at you incredulously then let out a small laugh. he breathed in, glancing at the fire. you watched the side of his face, seeing how the fire flickered over his features and showed off how smooth his clean-shaven cheek looked. you wondered what it felt like.

before you could wonder anything else, he looked back over at you. the smile was partially gone, all teasing now. “if i win…you come down to the beach with me.”

you searched his face, a heavy feeling pooling in the bottom of your stomach. you shivered slightly and sat up to be a bit closer to him. his eyes followed you carefully. “and if i win?” the confidence came easier now.

you didn’t miss the slight lean he made toward you, the fire catching in his eye. “name your terms.”

you didn’t once look away as you thought about something you could get, had you won the little game. it took a lot in you not to let your eyes stray further down his face, no matter how distracting the fake blood was. you had never had such intense eye contact with anyone and if you had been thinking about it, you knew you would surely look away. now, experiencing it, you didn’t feel the nervousness or desire to look away.

“hm,” you hummed, willing yourself not to press your lips together once he let his eyes flicker down to them. “if i win you give me a piggyback ride to the beach.”

it struck you then just how beautiful his smile really was. the way his eyes lit up, crinkled a little. he laughed and nodded. “deal.”

—

“i know i won, very fairly might i add, but i am sorry for completely wrecking you in that game.” rafe said.

“god, it’s like your ego grew ten times bigger.” you teased, crossing your arms over your chest to warm up from the breeze. it picked up much more as you grew closer to the beach. the waves were loud as you anticipated feeling the sand on your now bare feet, your shoes left on the back patio. it was cold once you reached it.

you stopped a ways away from the water, closing your eyes for a moment. you missed this, you missed the wind, the smell, the sand. you could see a flash of memories across your eyelids, days spent at this very beach, sand getting in places it shouldn’t, and building monster sandcastles with your family. sure, california had beaches too, but nothing like the ones at home.

when you opened your eyes, you couldn’t see rafe in your peripheral view. you turned, finding him standing a few feet from you, his hands in his pockets. he smiled softly and gestured with his head. “you want to walk?”

“is that what you brought me down here for? a walk?” you said, a playful smile pulling at your lips.

“well, it’s much too cold to swim, unless you like getting hypothermia.”

“shared body heat prevents that, you know.” you turned back around, watching the water reach the sand and smiling to yourself at your remark. you hugged yourself tighter against the wind and took a seat on the sand, pulling your legs to your chest.

rafe appeared next to you a moment later as he sat. you didn’t look over at him or say anything, not knowing what exactly to say. you had a faint idea of why he wanted to be alone here, it was partially secluded, and dark enough to see the person in front of you. you wondered what he was thinking.

“back in high school i used to think i'd never get off this island. but being back now, i don’t want to leave.” you said, unsure of what it was that made you do so.

“i still haven’t left.” rafe said, laughing to himself. “at this point, it seems like i never will.”

your eyebrows furrowed and you looked over at him. “what do you want to do? with your life?”

he met your eyes, then looked back at the water and shrugged. letting out a breath, he threw a bit of sand in front of him. “no clue. i think i just need to get out and go somewhere for a little while. maybe that will help me figure it out.”

“i'm sure you will.” you said. “sometimes, that’s all it takes, is leaving. hell, if i didn’t leave and go to california, i wouldn’t have realized how much this place is in me. like, i'm meant to be here, you know?”

rafe fumbled with the sand in front of his crossed legs, then brushed it off on his pants. you watched him for a moment then looked the opposite way, biting your lip. your stomach was twisting again.

“how come we didn’t talk in high school?”

you forced yourself to blink a few times, questioning reality and if he actually asked that. you looked at him, confused and accusatory. “you never gave me the time of day.”

“so it’s all on me?” he laughed, giving you an odd look now.

“well, no. actually yes!” you said rather harshly. “you were the king, rafe cameron. i mean, not much has probably changed since i've been gone so you probably still are.”

“what does that mean?” he questioned.

“it means,” you sighed, becoming frustrated. “that everyone flocks to your beck and call. i certainly had no desire to do so back then, no matter how popular you were.”

“popularity doesn’t mean anything.”

“well, it certainly did to you, otherwise maybe we would’ve been friends.” you chided. he looked away from you, quite shocked at your words. you wanted to roll your eyes, of course he hadn’t changed since high school. he still expected everyone to fall on their knees for him.

you both sat in silence for a few minutes. the energy had changed and you wondered if you ruined the night. then again, why would it matter if you did? you were going back to california in a couple days anyways and you probably would forget all about this. but it still bugged you.

“what’s so different now?” you asked, the wind howling.

“what do you mean?” he asked, less annoyed. his features were smoother, now genuine curiosity in his eyes as you looked at him.

you gave him a look, one to say that he should know better. “sure seems like you’re interested.”

“what makes you think that?” he squinted, teasing. you were glad of this change.

“oh, i don’t know…you did a lot of staring.”

“so did you.”

you bit the inside of your lip, trying not to smirk. “why, i have no idea.” you said quietly to yourself, but rafe had heard you loud and clear over the wind.

you sighed to yourself and stood up, brushing the sand from your bottom. rafe looked up at you curiously and almost sadly. you looked back at the house, very much alive.

“i should go check up on ryan.”

—

ryan’s arm hung loosely over your shoulders, your body shaking with his as he laughed. he seemed to be getting on really well with complete strangers. you were happy for him.

if a stranger walked in right now, saw you sitting on the couch, surrounded by laughing friends and people you knew of, they would probably wonder why you looked like you didn’t want to be there. to be frank, you looked completely miserable. you were completely detached from reality, going over and over in your head the conversation you had with rafe on the beach. it wasn’t even eleven o’clock yet, and you were now begging the question, when are we leaving?

“did you want to leave soon?” you asked ryan when he looked over at you, smiling happily. you bit the inside of your lip, scolding yourself for even asking the question when he looked so elated.

“i'm alright.” he shrugged. “are you not having fun?”

the conversation still went on without him, it now feeling as if it was just the two of you. you shook your head quickly and put on a subtle smile. “no, no, i'm okay. just checking with you.”

“okay,” he nodded and squeezed you against him.

you let the smile slowly disappear once he engaged back with everyone else. you looked down at your lap, playing with your fingers. maybe you should find ally, you were sure she was doing something fun and time-consuming. that’s what you needed, was something to do to pass the time until ryan wanted to leave.

placing a hand on his knee to push you up, you told him you were going to find ally. he gave you a nod, taking a sip from his cup. you excused yourself past some people and started to look around for ally in each room. you didn’t spot her inside after a few minutes of looking so you wandered outside, maybe she had fallen asleep near the firepit. when you didn’t see her, you figured she was down at the beach. you could hear some distance screams of joy and laughter from that direction and could immediately imagine ally running around crazily.

giving up on your search for now, you took a seat at the fire again. you leaned close to it, watching the flames move. picking up the poker beside the sofa, you poked and prodded at the charring wood, sending little embers floating up. you watched as they disappeared, looking as if they would join the stars in the sky.

you weren’t sure how much time passed as you lost yourself in staring into the fire and feeling its radiating warmth on your cheeks. before you knew it, rafe sat down next to you.

you snorted. “you again? it’s like you’re obsessed with me now.”

“i came to get warm, i don’t know what you’re talking about.” rafe said, holding his palms out to soak it in.

“sure,” you hummed with a nod.

“you have a nice smile.”

you stared back at rafe, the smile in question dropping. speculation brewed in your mind.

“you’re staring again.” he said, the corner of his lips curving upward.

“what do you want from me, rafe?” you asked.

his smile dissipated as well before reappearing, trying to lessen the tension growing. “do i have—?”

“just be honest with me.” you interrupted. you were growing impatient and you could feel yourself starting to close up. no matter how much you enjoyed that lustful feeling for him all night, you wanted answers. “tell me what you want.”

never had you seen rafe cameron at a loss for words. it only boosted your confidence and you held the teasing giggle down. you never broke eye contact as he opened his mouth, searching for words. you raised your eyebrows at him, waiting.

“do you want to fuck me? is that it?” you prompted.

rafe swallowed very noticeably, the fire catching on his adam’s apple. “you don’t seem the type to be so straight forward.” he said as you put the fire poker down and turned to him, leaning over on your arm.

“you barely know me, remember?” your confidence was coming back as you placed your hand on rafe’s mid-thigh. he looked down at it then back up at you in surprise, his mouth ajar. you didn’t try to hide looking at it now as your heart raced.

“i've been wanting your mouth all night, rafe cameron.” you licked your own lips hungrily, your pulse picking up. you moved your hand to his face, feeling the smoothness you so craved to feel earlier in the same spot. you ran your thumb over his lips, gauging his reaction.

“fuck.” as if he hadn’t been wrapped around your finger before, he certainly was now. his hand appeared on your thigh, moving up to your waist to pull you closer.

your lips met suddenly, catching rafe off guard as his hand went to your face, holding it steady against his own. you instantly tasted the corn syrup of the fake blood coating his lips. you didn’t particularly enjoy the taste, but you liked the taste of him. he groaned at the contact of your tongue, opening his mouth for you to tangle with his. his jaw was strong in your hand, his skin soft. his thumb brushed your cheek roughly, trying to pull you closer. you smiled against him and pulled back in competition.

“y/n?” you pulled away abruptly from rafe, looking over your shoulder at ryan. you tried to steady your breathing as he awkwardly looked from you to rafe. “uh, ally is inside and she kinda hurt herself.”

of course, you thought. you licked your lips, your heartbeat pulsing under the surface of the sensitive skin. you felt rafe’s hands slip away as you stood up and started to follow ryan inside. you didn’t look back in fear of running back to jump his bones.

“who was that?” ryan whispered to you, not yet through the back door. “sorry i interrupted such a good moment.” he laughed.

“shut up,” you elbowed him and walked inside.

ally was sat in the kitchen, bleeding from her leg. you quickly aided her, inquiring what happened and what she did to be such a klutz. apparently, she thought it would be a good idea to live up to her dancer dreams and get up on the counter. obviously, it didn’t end well.

“totally worth it.” she slurred. you shook your head with a smile as you cleaned her up on the bathroom floor.

you wiped the blood off her skin, throwing the toilet paper in the waste bin next to you. rummaging for band aids as she drunkenly yapped on about her endeavor, you pulled the plastic wrappers off one by one and applied them to the long cut on her leg.

“i think you’re down for the count tonight,” you told her, smoothing the band aid down.

“okay, mom.” she dramatized, making a snide face at you with her eyelids closed.

“you can’t even keep your eyes open, dude. you’re done.” you laughed and helped her up. “good thing you live here.”

pulling her arm around your shoulders, you left the bathroom and brought her upstairs. her bedroom door was closed, along with all of the rooms, and thankfully no one was inside. you pulled her shoes off and didn’t bother with her dress.

“i want to go back downstairs.” she whined.

you rolled your eyes and pulled the covers over her. “the sun will come out tomorrow, annie. sweet dreams.” you kissed her forehead, noticing already how she started to drift off.

making your way downstairs, you watched as a group was heading out for the night. they closed the door behind them, the people in the entryway saying goodbye like a chorus. turning off the last step, you ran right into a very solid body. hands grabbed ahold of your waist to steady you and you looked up, seeing ryan.

“hey,” he said. “is she okay?”

“yeah. i put her to bed.” you nodded up the stairs and took a step back from him.

“i'm ready to go whenever you are.” he said.

your stomach dropped. you instantly thought about rafe, wanting nothing more than to find him and kiss him again. just as you thought this, he appeared in the entryway behind ryan. you glanced at him then back at ryan. “i'll meet you at the car?” you said and pulled out the key to give him. he nodded without a word and walked around you to the door.

“hey—” you started to say, meeting rafe halfway until he maneuvered you up against the wall, his lips quick to get to yours. you moaned softly into his mouth, reaching around him to pull him against you. he reciprocated this action, pushing his hips flush against yours. you broke away from him, breathing harshly.

“i have to go,” you said quietly, looking directly at rafe’s lips, feeling your eyelids weighted with lust.

rafe didn’t look pleased about that, rather annoyed really. his hand rested just at the side of your neck, his other under your top to grip your waist. “can’t you stay for a little while longer?”

you shook your head, smiling softly. “guess you should’ve made your move sooner.”

rafe grunted and pulled you back to him, his tongue slipping into your mouth. you welcomed it, running your hand over his chest, feeling how fast his heart was beating too. that alone was nearly enough to pull you in and make ryan wait, but you pushed on the firm chest, breaking apart from him once more.

“i really do have to go, rafe.”

—

picking up the jar, you read over the label. organic honey. now that you thought about it, you didn’t have any back at school. one jar wouldn’t hurt.

“i’ll take this please.” you said, setting it down on the table. the man on the other side nodded and took the few bills you held out to him. you thanked him for it, picking up the jar and your change and moving to the next stand.

ever since you could remember, you had gone to the farmer’s market every year. it was something you liked to do, something that involved the community you grew up in. there were so many selections and stands and things for you to look at that you could spend hours there. if you weren’t with ryan, you just might have been there until closing time.

ryan was across the way, checking out some older books that the library was giving away. you stopped beside him, peering into the crate he was looking in. eventually you moved on to the next stand, neither of you finding anything worth picking.

“so, what are we up to tonight?” ryan asked on the way back to the house, your jar of honey in his lap.

you felt your ears grow warmer, opening your mouth. “i was thinking of going over to a friend’s house.”

“ally’s? that’ll be fun.” he looked over at you, smiling slightly.

you glanced at him, opening and closing your mouth a few times. “no. uh, rafe’s. just me.”

“oh,” ryan drawled out, nodding slowly.

“i'm sorry. if you really don’t want me to go since you’ll be alone and have nothing to do, i can stay in and we can figure something out. you know what, let’s just do that?” you decided, waving it off.

“y/n, breathe.” ryan laughed. “i'm fine staying alone. you go to rafe’s.”

“are you sure? i can stay in, we can go eat at the wreck. you haven’t tried it yet!”

“we’re not leaving until tomorrow night. we can just get food then. it’s not a big deal. don’t stay in on my account, please. go to rafe’s.” he encouraged.

you couldn’t tell if he was really okay with it or if he felt differently. you had been thinking about it all day, replaying the kisses from last night and the way it felt to have rafe’s hands on you. your heart beat in other places now as you thought about it again. you shifted in your seat as you pulled onto your road. you thanked ryan as you got out of the car and went into the house.

—

dinner passed quickly. you pushed yourself to eat slowly, to actually spend time with your family and have them get to know ryan. a part of you still felt bad about leaving him alone there, no matter how many times he kicked your foot under the table.

now you were staring at yourself in the mirror, killing time doing nothing. you hadn’t done anything different about your appearance, you just showered and sprayed a bit of perfume. and you brushed your teeth. god, what was wrong with you? where was the confidence from last night? maybe it went out the window at the very prospect of driving to rafe’s house and going to see him. you had never done that before, you’d never been there, you’d never seen what it was like. plus, what if he wasn’t home? what were you going to do then? you didn’t have his number, although ally could easily get it for you.

no. no. you needed to stop. you had to do this before you left for california and regretted not going to rafe’s house. taking in a deep breath, you straightened yourself up and huffed. you said goodbye to ryan in the spare bedroom across the hall and he gave you a thumbs up, resulting in you rolling your eyes.

it didn’t take that long of a drive to pull up to the cameron’s estate. it was huge, you thought. you stared at the white exterior and felt not at all intimidated. turning off the car and willing yourself to get out, you walked up to the front door in determination and knocked. you practiced breathing to calm your nerves as you waited. it took a few minutes until the door opened and you breathed in sharply.

expecting someone completely different, you were met with a small girl no more than 14. you couldn’t recall if rafe had two sisters, you just knew of the one.

“can i help you?” she raised her eyebrows under the black rimmed glasses.

“hi.” you paused for too long and breathed. “uh, is rafe here?”

“he’s out. and you are?”

you lifted your own brows at her territorial posture, arms crossed. “i'm y/n. a friend of rafe’s. um, do you know when he’ll be back by any chance?”

her shoulders loosened as she grabbed onto the door handle. “sometime soon, i think. you’re welcome to wait.” she stepped aside, letting you in. you gave her a thankful smile, wanting to tell her that she was calming your nerves considerably.

“thank you. what’s your name?”

“wheezie. i'm rafe’s younger sister.” she closed the door solidly, pulling a phone out of her back pocket.

“it’s nice to meet you. i appreciate you letting me wait for him.” you rubbed your hands on your thighs, trying to get rid of the sweat.

she nodded with her eyes locked on the screen. “yeah, no problem. i actually have to leave, so…” she said and grabbed a coat from the chair behind the door. she opened it again and went to leave, but poked her head back in. “don’t steal anything.”

opening your mouth to protest, the door closed with a satisfied thud, echoing through the empty house. you glanced around, not knowing where to put yourself. you took a few steps and poked your head around the doorway, finding a huge kitchen with a few lights left on. you turned back around and looked up the stairs, figuring that was your best bet. just before you stepped onto them, you took your shoes off.

rafe’s room was pretty obvious what with the posters of random semi-naked women. you rolled your eyes at the typical male and wandered further in. his walls were a dark blue, black bedding messy on the mattress. some clothes were thrown on the floor, a desk with a monitor set up on it and some old dishes. you itched to clean it, but that would’ve been weird.

just as you were looking at the little knick-knacks on his dresser, you heard a door shut. you placed one of his rings down and waited expectantly in the center of his room, still not knowing where to put yourself. his footsteps were fast on the stairs, almost as if he were skipping two at a time. your stomach twisted when he appeared in his doorway.

“how’d you get in here?” he asked first, closing the door slowly behind him and switching on the overhead light. you took in his appearance, enjoying the backwards hat paired with a sweatshirt and sweatpants. you snapped out of it, realizing he was still waiting for an answer.

“uh, wheezie, was it? she let me in. and then she left.” you stated, twiddling your fingers against your thighs.

rafe nodded and moved away from the door, taking his hat and sweatshirt off. turning back to you, he brushed a hand through his hair then set them on his hips. “what are you doing here?”

“i think you know.” you refrained from rolling your eyes, letting out a laugh to lessen your nerves and to mask how much you were hoping not to be turned down.

rafe pressed his lips together, looking behind you for a second and taking a couple steps forward. you looked up at him, feeling the soft puffs of his breath on your face. “tell me what you want. be honest with me.”

you laughed at your own words from last night and looked at him under your lashes. you took a brave step forward, feeling his body heat. “i want you to kiss me like last night.”

rafe looked down at your lips, moving his face closer. you watched him, anticipating it and closing your eyes. you didn’t feel anything other than his hands lightly touching your waist. you opened your eyes to look up at him, to see what he was doing and why he was making you wait when you just told him what you wanted. he smiled lightly and looked over your face.

“and then what?”

you moaned and pulled him forward by his shirt, grabbing fistfuls of it in satisfaction. his mouth was warm and inviting against yours and you tried to think of what he smelled like, like salt and clean laundry. he tasted much better now that you could only taste him and not that god awful corn syrup.

you pulled away for a moment, sticking your tongue out to lick at his lips teasingly. his fingertips poked into your sides, pulling you closer and back against his mouth. you smiled against him and let go of his shirt to pull it off. instead of returning to your lips, rafe put his against the side of your throat, lightly nipping at the skin. you pulled your jacket and shirt off, rafe helping you swiftly. he continued his ministrations on your neck, holding you upright while you let your head fall back.

a gasp escaped your lips as rafe grabbed your hand from his stomach and placed it over his bulge. you hadn’t realized how prominent he was in the past few moments. you looked over his face as he pressed his forehead against yours, guiding your hand over him.

“do you feel that?” he huffed.

your legs practically turned to mush as you felt him, growing stiff in his sweats. you hummed, nodding against his head. without asking you or prompting you, you slid your hand from under his into his pants. the warmth radiated like the fire from last night, your own pooling between your legs. rafe let out another breath as you wrapped your hand around him, exploring.

“that feels good.” he whispered and tugged your body closer, a hand cupping your backside. you reached to press a kiss against his jaw, his head moving to give you more access. you made a quick trail and pressed a final kiss to the base of his neck, right over his clavicle.

as much as you didn’t want to, you pulled away, your own need growing by the second. you pushed his pants down with his boxers, trying to hold yourself together from not jumping on him then and there. he watched your face closely as he stepped out of his pants. swallowing, you pushed your own bottoms down and just as you were reaching for your underwear, rafe pushed you onto his unmade bed.

starting at your mouth, rafe kissed you fully and hungrily, sparing nothing. you wanted to hold him there, especially when he rutted his hips against yours, eliciting a high moan. you quivered at the feeling of him so close and you would’ve reached for your underwear then if he hadn’t left your lips and slowly started to make his way down.

“keep making those noises, y/n.” his breath blew over your chest and you obliged as his lips pressed against one of your breasts.

“rafe, please.” you touched his head and lifted your legs around him.

he lifted from your stomach with a smile. “what?”

“hurry up.” you begged, out of breath. he chuckled, kissing you lightly on the lips and moving back to what he was doing. you groaned but lifted onto our elbows to watch. he pressed a few more kisses to your stomach and just as he was going to the next spot, you raised your hips, teasing him. he laughed, his breathing tickling your sensitive skin.

his hands took ahold of your hips and held them down on the bed, his fingers warm and strong. you swallowed thickly, your eyelids nearly closing as a kiss was pressed directly over where your excitement had pooled. you let out a whine, low from your throat, and met rafe’s dark eyes.

“you’re so wet.” he said, letting go of one hip to replace where his mouth just was. you lifted your hips again, letting your head fall back at the pleasure that shot through you. rafe pressed his fingers firmly, moving slowly in circles. “is this how you were last night?”

“yes, yes.” you sighed, dropping onto your back. “fuck, rafe, please just take them off. please.”

he pushed against your clit abruptly, practically pushing the breath out of your chest. he obliged though, you felt his fingers slip between the material and your hips before he tugged them down. you opened your eyes as the bed shifted. rafe held himself over you, reaching into the nightstand and pulling out a condom. you leaned up to pull your bra off as he opened the small package and put it on.

“how do you want me?” you asked, still out of breath, reaching for him.

rafe smiled, his hands coming down on either side of your head to hold himself up. “just like this.”

his hair tickled your forehead as he lined himself up and took your mouth against him. you broke the kiss, moaning as he pushed in slowly.

“fuck.” you gasped, holding onto his hip.

“are you okay?” he asked after letting out a low grunt.

“yes,” you nodded, reaching up to kiss him. “i need you to move.”

rafe did as requested and moved slowly, starting a rhythm. his hand closed around a breast, your legs opening wider for him as his hips met yours continuously. you tried your best to keep your lips against his, reveling in the warmth and taste, but you found yourself pulling away and getting lost in what he was doing to you. you started to focus on his breathing, his low grunts, his moans that sent shivers up the back of your thighs. you relished in it.

“i'm glad we didn’t do this last night.” you laughed to yourself, out of breath.

“fuck,” he said. “i was pissed when you left, i ended up coming here just to jack off.”

you laughed again, reaching a hand up to his hair to tug at. you pulled his mouth to yours momentarily until he broke away and moved to your chest. “rafe, harder.” you pleaded, tugging on his hip.

he moaned against your chest, the vibrations going all the way to where he was pushing into you. you let out your own noise, louder than any before, as he picked up the pace and tried to hit you deeper. it wasn’t quite working so you lifted your knee up higher, digging your heel into his backside.

rafe softly bit down on your nipple, massaging the other one. it lost the warmth a second later as rafe let go and grabbed ahold of your leg, the smacking of your skin becoming louder. letting go of his hair, you held his other hip, digging your fingernails in.

“rafe,” you panted. rafe’s hips were going at an alarming rate, but you had never felt so good. he knew exactly what he was doing. “rafe, i'm close.”

rafe let go of your leg and moved his hand down your stomach to find your clit. his thumb brushed it, causing you to cry out. his breath was coming out in pants now too, with each stroke. he looked down at you, your expression of pure bliss as your eyes screwed shut and contorted. you bit your lip, something you didn’t realize drove him crazy. he moved his thumb in fast circles with the pace of his hips and soon enough, you were squeezing his hips and crying out in high pitched tones. the sound alone brought rafe closer.

“fuck, fuck.” you felt him twitch as he grabbed onto your hip, his steady thrusts now stuttering.

you were still riding out your own high, but you reached up with a shaky hand and touched his cheek. he opened his eyes then at the new contact, his mouth ajar, lips swollen.

“rafe, cum. i need you to cum.” you pleaded, licking into his lips with a kiss. he groaned, hips stuttering again then stilling completely as he emptied into the condom. you moaned at the sound, wishing that he was emptying into you. you wished you could feel how warm he was when he coated your walls. god, just the thought had you ready to go again.

rafe moaned as he slid out of you and flipped over onto his back. you licked your lips, still tasting him as you caught your own breath. your skin was sticky and sweaty, but you liked it knowing who it was from. looking over at him now, he was spent and tired, his chest moving with gulps of breath.

“well, i know you better now.” he said, making you laugh.

“right back at ya, rafe cameron.”

#rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron #outer banks #fanfic #fanfiction #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron x fem!reader

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