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lollybliz · 4 years

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bout to make a Monster of a fic rec post here we go

heyo @jinx108! We’ll start with the complete ones because sometimes you’re just not in the mood to wait for the last chapter, you know? I don't remember details of all of these so i’m just going to copy the author’s summary rather than write my own. I am literally just going through my bookmarks, I got 400 of these to sort through. if ive talked to or am familiar with the author im gonna mention them, but if I mention you and you don't want me to have Please tell me and i’ll remove it.

If you’re not into spoilers Please Tread Carefully, I don't watch out for that stuff so I wont know to label it

1>Crushing Truth by Bunzuku: Tododeku. “Romance is hard enough for a teenager to understand when they have a good relationship role model. For Shoto, it takes two excited meddlers for him to even realize what his feelings really are.“

2>Disowned by b00mgh: tododeku + others. Unrated, some traumatic elements. “Shouto freaks out under a bridge and I use the word "grass" a lot more than I really should. Izuku does his stupid martyr thing and everyone makes continuous references to his propensity to break his bones. Aizawa goes "oh FUCK my kids are dying again" and his students use him as emotional (and physical) support. A friend requests angst, I say what kind, she say idk make someone get disowned and i say oh this I can absolutely provide my good buddy.”

3>cotton candy hands by @chonideno: Kiribaku. I will take Any excuse to rec this fic, its the most fluffy pile of feels Good Lord. also the first fic I ever bound into a physical book. “Studying to become a hero requires knowing how to take care of yourself. Sometimes you might need help on the way so if your crush offers to do your hair for you or to give you a well-deserved back rub, it'd be stupid to say no. A series of soft vignettes in which a love-struck Kirishima and a touch-starved Bakugou care for each other and it's definitely not making their hearts jump through hoops, they’re never this close to kissing, no, they're totally best friends bro“

4>Catching Sight of the Storm by neo7v: Kiribaku, tododeku. A considerable amount of Whump and related angst, and kinda sad tbh. “Blind. Quirkless. Useless.The first two things were stated clearly by the doctor that sat about five feet in front of Izuku. The third was a word that Kacchan called him everytime he failed to make the jump on whatever forest excursion they were on or when he ran into a tree because he hadn’t seen it. “I’m so, so sorry, Izuku.” Was his mom giving up on him already? But he could still be a hero if he tried hard enough, right? Quirkless or not. Blind or not. Just because Izuku was useless now didn’t mean he would stay that way forever, right? *** A Blind!Izuku AU”

5>Yell Heah by fakecharliebrown: Chatfic. M a n y pairings. technically complete, but part of an ongoing series. “Iida creates a group-chat for Class 1-A. It doesn't go as planned.“

6>Sunshine by Rosey_Note: BIG SAD. tw- failed suicide attempt. KiriKamiBaku. “They didn't deserve to put up with his crappy mood. Because Denki Kaminari did not feel like Sunshine right now. And they deserved sunshine. In fact, Denki didn't feel much of anything right now.“

7>Electric Connection by Onlymostydead: ShinKami. “Kaminari's quirk has always had... Weird side affects. Like his ADHD. And his constant energy. And his insomnia, which wouldn't leave him be right now, when he really needed to just get some sleep. But, thankfully, he has good friends.“

8>The Best (The Worst) by Onlymostydead: no romantic pairing. tw- rampant transphobia, both outside and internalized. “Bakugou Katsuki has known who he was since he was four years old. He was a boy, it was as simple as that. Around his friends, at school... But things couldn't just be that simple, could they?“

9>Lichtenberg Figures by Q_loves_you: no definite romantic pairing. “Kaminari Denki has a very powerful force of nature running through his body. Kaminari Denki doesn't want to hurt anybody. He doesn't always get what he wants, and "anybody" does generally include himself.“

10>Eventuality by KikaTouka: ill be honest I don't remember this one at all, I maaaay not have read it yet :/. anyway. ShinKami. “Shinsou learns more than just hero lessons after being transferred to 1-A.“

11>Pickup Lines for the Soul by MustardSoup: ShinKami. “Denki is twelve when he is flicking through the TV channels and lands on an old RomCom movie about soulmate marks – specifically the same type that he has. “I can’t believe I’ve had to walk around with a cheap pickup line written on my ankle my entire life because of you!” The leading lady yells at the leading man as he stares at her in awe. Denki laughs. “Oh no.” His mother says, watching him. “Oh no, indeed.” His sister repeats quietly.“

12>caught in my own web by @anxioussailorsoldier: ShinKami. “Shinsou needs some help after getting caught up in his capture weapon. Kaminari enters from stage left.“

13>not so summer love by nataliya: ShinKami. “Class 2-B’s common room, although typically quiet, was currently filled with five students—three slowly giving up on homework, one bitching about noise and another that rushes through the front door. “We’ve been waiting for you—” Mina starts, but Kaminari’s vaulting over the back of the couch, eyes wide as he practically buzzes out of his skin, emitting light like crazy as currents dazzle across strands of hair. “I have a big ugly crush,” He steps off the couch and onto the coffee table, much to Bakugou’s chagrin, “On big ugly Shinsou.””

14>Blamed by coldandhotsoba: ShinKami. Tw- they fuckin kill a guy and its a lil nasty. “This was not how the day was supposed to end. They were supposed to end the day like they do most nights. Kaminari clutching onto him like a koala as he slept, wrapped in the millions of tacky blankets Kaminari had bought. Warm and safe in their bed. It was not supposed to end with both of them tied up in some cold metal room.“

15>Lightning Scars by Present-Mics-Scream (write_your_way_out): Shinkami. “It's hard to be confident in your abilities when you're surrounded by people with incredible quirks. Shinsou Hitoshi would know better than anyone. Sure, he was admitted to the hero course in his second year, but being admitted to the hero course, and keeping up with the rest of the class are two different things. Lucky for him, Kaminari is there to prove that the flashiest quirks come with the largest drawbacks.“

16>See No Evil, Hear No Evil by randomfan188: no romantic pairing. “Kaminari Denki is legally blind. When he forgets to wear his contacts and breaks down during math class, comfort appears in the strangest of ways.“

17>how not to enjoy the weather, an article by kaminari denki by dreamtowns: no defined romantic pairing. “If there was one thing Kaminari hated the most in a world wth villains, it would have to be thunderstorms.“

18>”Studying” by emmyrox22: ShinKami, EraserMic. “Shinsou and Kaminari have been “studying” together for a while (but not for school). Shinsou gets stopped by his dads on the way to another “study” session and mistakes are made“

19>Weaknesses by sunflowerstorm: ShinKami. “Kaminari's quirk and storms compliment each other in the worst way, but he's convinced he can deal with it on his own... until he really can't any longer. When Shinsou accidentally overhears Aizawa confronting Kaminari about recent changes in behaviour and hears about the hell his quirks been putting him through, he can't just pretend he never heard. He wants to help.“

20>it’s hurt denki hours by memeingfultrash: ShinKami + others. ““Certain members of our class are...under the impression that...you’re the traitor.” Denki’s body went cold and felt like he was going to short circuit. ~some of class 1a believes that denki is the traitor and avoid him”

21>Petition to replace Mineta with Shinsou- (signed by Kaminari Denki) by CharaTheQuartz: ShinKami + others. This is one of my favorites, I go back to reread it from time to time. It SAYS 41/42, but that's just a glitch cus chapter 36 doesn't exist for some reason, I talked to the author about it and its fine. “Mineta brings shame to the color purple. You know who does not bring shame to the rich color, but pride and sexual tension to one infatuated Kaminari Denki instead? Shinsou Hitoshi, aka sexy zombie man, aka the most perfect hunk of a man to walk planet earth, aka future husband. Shinsou has finally gotten his chance to prove himself to the hero course, and he did more than prove himself. The only question left unanswered is whether he will start in A or B, and how Kaminari can manipulate the end result.“

22>How to Get a Boyfriend (in Four Easy Steps!) by e1ana: ShinKami, EraserMic, + others. “Step 1: Get kicked out of the house by your homophobic parents. Step 2: Run headfirst into your brooding, mysterious crush. Step 3: Sleep in his dad’s (see: your homeroom teacher) house Step 4: Watch everything you thought you knew go to shit. This isn’t exactly the sweet, romantic plan that Kaminari Denki longed for. Will everything be ok, or will step 5 be to crash and burn?“

23>Bakugou and Todoroki’s Foolproof 5-Step Plan to Fuck with Mineta Minoru by Anubis_2701: Kiribaku, TodoDeku, + others. This is another one of my favorites, and the one I am currently folding and sewing into a physical book. you learn how to do funny things when bored and quarantined ig. “It was a simple enough idea; screw around with the resident bastard of Class 1-A to let him know that his medieval ways and perverted behaviour weren't going to be tolerated by even the most career-focused of UA's students. To say that things had snowballed was an understatement. Todoroki had no idea how he had ended up sitting on Bakugou's floor at 1 am, holding a dossier of incriminating material that would make the FBI slobber, but he wasn't sure he wanted to know. The long and short of it was, fuck Mineta.”

24>Colour Theory by chancellorxofxtrash: TodoBakuDeku. this one’s a series. “Midoriya/Bakugo/Todoroki slow burn soulmate AU. All three of them are nerds with their own emotional issues, trying to navigate their way through becoming heroes, and their own relationship with each other.“

25>Summer Sunshine by Mara97: TodoDeku. Ever want a Barbie in a mermaid tale/Bnha crossover? No? well here you go anyway! “Instead of worrying about college, Izuku spends his summer vacation finding out his father is, supposedly, a dead merman king and going on a quest to dethrone the current king, Endeavor. Along the way, Izuku becomes close to the three journeying with him, makes friends with strangers, starts crushing on an unattainable prince, and, in the end, learns to love himself. Oh, and he saves a kingdom, too.“

26>The snowflakes on our skin and the flames in our soul are one (and the same), my love by missunderstuffyou: TodoDeku, Kiribaku. this is one of the ones I keep a running reread comment going on. its at,,, 6, atm. “Before your quirk begins to present itself, the soulmate link comes through, and suddenly whatever you write upon your own skin appears on the body of your soulmate. As your soulmate writes to you, the emotions they feel follow through the ink.Izuku Midoriya is four years and a few months old when he first feels the slight ebbing in his arms. It doesn’t hurt… he can just feel something, and it’s enough to make him sprint into his mother’s arms screaming that his quirk is coming. She had been washing in the kitchen, and the sudden screech as her son rockets into her side is enough to make her jump with panic, immediately grabbing at him and looking for cuts and bumps before she understands his words and the stupidly bright, alight smile on his face with large, watery, hopeful eyes. Shoto Todoroki doesn’t feel his soulmate connection open up. It is drowned in the aches of a small body worked far too hard.“

27>It was dark inside the closet by Chad_Champion69420: Pre-ShinDeku? maybe? its tagged shindeku but like. it’ll make sense if you read it. “Midoriya is invited to a party. He and Shinsou decide to play a little trick on the rest of the party during Seven Minutes in Heaven.”

28>how to woo your local trash gremlin: a comprehensive guide by Todoroki shouto by wonhaebunny: TodoBaku. this is the fic that dragged me into todobaku, fun fact. “five times shouto tries to confess to bakugou, and one time he doesn't bother tryingaka: wikihow is a scam and bakugou is a terrible, terrible boy“

29>top ten photos taken right before disaster by Shookspeare: ShinDeku. “Izuku participates in a harmless prank, only to end up ruining it and running for dear life.“

30>Secrets to Share by pechebaie: no definite romantic pairing. “Kirishima comes out first, and nothing changes. Kirishima and Kaminari still hang out to complain about class and talk about boys - and sometimes girls, too, in Kaminari’s case; he still plans stupid pranks with Sero that get them sent to the principal’s or nurse’s office every time; Ashido still kicks his ass at Mario Kart without hesitation; and Bakugou doesn’t get angry at him any more than he usually does.“

31>What One Hides by Pinalinet: TodoDeku. “All Might gives class 1-A an unusual assignment that results in Midoriya Izuku and Todoroki Shouto attending a weekly acting class. But with a mysterious villain targeting individuals without Quirks, and a developing issue of Todoroki's own, an after-school assignment is the least of their worries.“

32>whether or not we’re fated, we’re meant to be by juurensha: KINDA SPOILERY. TodoDeku + others. “Todoroki didn’t have a soulmark for most of his life.His siblings all did, but up until the day of the U.A. entrance exam, he had shoved the idea aside. It’s not like they could help him anyway. And then a 9 appears on his chest, and a green-haired boy barrels into his life with a fire and ice soulmark on his arms, and suddenly Todoroki cares very much about all this could mean.”

33>The Midnight Shift by meiishu @meiishu @totallytodoroki (idk which you’d rather I attach so I went with both): ShinKami. ““Hey Toshi,” Denki says, and he laughs, clearly embarrassed. He’s got on a jean jacket that did him absolutely no help and a white tee shirt that is currently stuck to his torso. It’s got a pikachu design in the center. “By any chance, do you sell umbrellas?” “You really went out in this weather.” Hitoshi deadpans, instead of dignifying that with an answer. or hitoshi works the midnight shift at the gas station, which also doubles as a pokestop for pokemon go. of course, denki is a regular.”

34>Rock the House by AkabaneKayo: ShinKami. “It wasn’t just his bed. It was his entire fucking room shaking. Only one thought crossed his mind at that moment: “Holy shit. My room is haunted.”“

35>Technically, they’re morning kisses by CharaTheQuartz: ShinKami. “Most nights, Shinsou cannot fall sleep. Neither can Kaminari. It seems counterproductive to have a sleepover then, but they try to make it work. And they fail, but that is okay.“

36>someone to call mine by nearly_theyre: ShinKami, EraserMic “From: Me wish you were here, denks From: kitten 💛💘💛 what if i was tho? OR Four times Denki snuck into Hitoshi's room and one time he walked through the front door.“

37>Pretty by Onlymostydead (noticing some repeat authors? me too): no definite romantic pairing. “(Or, Kaminari still can't figure out bra clasps.) Kaminari has never really felt good about himself. Herself? Whichever way, not knowing doesn't make anything easier. Especially when he (she?) and Mina have their bodies swapped during training, and everything seems too right.“

38>If I offer you my hand, will you take it? by bleukitsune: Kiribaku. SPOILERY. ““Why?” Kirishima leaned back on his hands, trying to create some space between them. Too close. The ash-blond looked really nervous, his usually arrogant and cunning demeanor gone. “What do you see when you look at me? Kirishima is worried. Bakugou is hurting. After his confrontation with Midoriya, he finally reaches out to him. “

Theres way more but I haven't tagged them properly yet so that m a y come later if I can ever finish going through and adding my sorting tags.

and then a last few that Are Not Complete but im really very fond of them. not as many as id like to add, but my hands are getting tired tbh.

39>State of Mind by GuardianOfTheLoaf: no relationship YET but its looking like it’ll be either tododeku or shindeku, probably the former. EraserMic. tw- childhood neglect and severe depression. Izuku’s not a happy kid. “Izuku was a late bloomer, his quirk lying dormant until his tenth birthday when in a fit of emotion he grabs his mother and she disappears. With All Might slowly restoring his confidence Izuku begins the difficult journey into becoming a hero.“ 18/? chapters.

40>Izuku Eats His Problems by CosmicAce: ShinDeku. Izuku’s a flerkin, what more could you want? “His whole life, Izuku Midoriya was taught to keep his powers, his Quirk, hidden from the world. His kind were feared, hunted to near extinction because of it. He just wants to show people he’s different. That he can be a HERO. And nothing is going to stop him. Even if his Quirk IS like an eldritch abomination.“ 43/? chapters

and then probably my current favorite bnha fic- although it fights with Apertum Mortem for that spot but that ones d a r k and not here-

41>family of the year by periiwren: EraserMic. “Hitoshi is done. Done with moving around every few months to a couple that will scrutinize him and eventually dump him right back where he started. Good thing he’s well past his strike limit now- at least he can stay in one place, be content to age out of the system and finish out his training with Aizawa. Maybe transfer into the hero course, maybe be a hero- but none of that was guaranteed. The only thing for sure was that he was going to stay in that center for the rest of his childhood. Or so he thought- because Aizawa Shouta and Yamada Hizashi have other plans.“ 24/? chapters. we’ve been informed that this one’s gonne be l o n g and im Very Grateful.

42>Here There Be Dragons by here_and_there: pre-ShinDeku. “Izuku looked at the small circle Aizawa had motioned to in front of them. "I won't fit," he whispered, thinking. He raised his hand, tentatively. Sighing, Aizawa grumbled, "What?" "I-I have a question. Actually, two." His teacher just stared at him, unimpressed. Izuku continued. "Can we activate our quirks before we step into the ring?" Aizawa looked up into the sky, muttering something Izuku didn't hear. "If you must." "O-Okay. Uh, second question. You said we have to stay inside the circle, right?" "Yes." The man looked disappointed, not only in Izuku but in himself for letting the kid speak. "Great. Uh... does that include tails?"“ 6/? chapters.

43>Another Option by sandersonsister: TodoBakuDeku, Touya/Hawks, Dabi/Hawks. Potentially Spoilery, depends on whether horikoshi has the guts to confirm Touya. this one is waiting around the corner with a baseball bat, its really cute, and then r e a l l y painful. it might be getting better though. maybe. it might be getting worse. “When Touya stops his mother from hurting Shouto, he decides enough is enough. He needs to get out of this house and he's taking his baby brother with him.“ 33/? chapters.

That's it i’m done for now, oof. maybe ill edit more onto this post later, maybe i’ll just make another one. hope some of these work!

#fic rec #bnha #mha #tododeku #todobakudeku #kiribaku #shinkami #shindeku #erasermic #To Be Continued

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idreamtofthereaper · 4 years

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And So, I’m Here (XIII)

You are 23 and never had a boyfriend. Which you can’t understand because your mom keeps telling you you’re pretty and beautiful and all that mom stuff.

You got tired of waiting, and even looking for one (especially since you have your best friend pushing you to get one) so instead, you made your own. The problem? Your imaginative boyfriend is very real and has some questions to ask.

pairings: wayv/nct’s ten x reader

genre: social media au ig

warnings: possible mature content

note from the author: If you want to be on the tag list, reply here or message me or something. Also, I’m sorry for the slow updates :(

MASTERLIST

Taglist: @ciaojunnie @chunbyun @nshitae @bestof99s @vinmylife

“Ew, you like matcha?”

“And you like mint? Weirdo.” Ten replied as he handed you the Blue ice cream, smiling and thanking the cashier which you did the same.

The both of you strolled along the still busy streets of the city, occasionally pointing at stuff you find interesting but mostly, the entire stroll was wrapped in silence.

“Hey, let’s take a seat. I’m tired.” You said, not even waiting a reply from Ten as you took a seat from one of the benches in front of some restaurant.

Ten only chuckled at your antics but then followed, taking a seat beside you and even put an arm on the top of the bench behind your back. He watched you with interest as you pulled your jacket closer to you, rubbing your hands together which then made you calmer.

“You have like a level 2 immune system.”

“No, I just ate ice cream that’s why.” You answered, turning towards him then rolled your eyes playfully. “My body is used to sleeping right after eating ice cream.”

“So, about your friend-” Ten couldn’t finish his sentence as you immediately sent him a glare, earning a teasing smirk at his end. “Awh, is my girlfriend jealous.”

“Idiot, you’re supposed to tell me what happened with you and Hana.” You answered, crumpling the tissue paper and putting in insider your pocket.

He just groaned at this, then removed his arm from the back of the bench then used it to place his head on top. “Okay so get this, we met way back, we are what you called High school sweethearts. Then we went to college but unlike her family, mine is not well off enough for me to continue. I did came back to college though, but she was already ahead of me and I got frustrated so I dropped off. Then I moved away and now I’m focusing on other stuff, then she moved here too and turns out she dropped out as well.”

If you were drinking, you would’ve choked.

You understand the concept of love, but it will still also remain as a weird one. You don’t understand how someone will do something like that for someone they aren’t even sure if it’s going to stay forever with them.

You nodded, though the confusion and little big of disgust is evident on your face. “I could never.”

“That was the first time we broke up really, when I moved here so that we could focus on our individual stuff but she decided to move here as well after a couple of weeks.” You shook your head at this, Ten continued. “We weren’t the same after. We couldn’t find a decent job since none of us completed college, my project wasn’t paying me, the bills were piling up. Then her social media started to blossom which saved our asses for a while but it wasn’t enough, then her parents got involved. It just became messy and I wanted out of it, I didn’t want it anymore.”

You nodded, finally knowing the story behind their messy love life. “What is that project anyways?” You asked, hoping to make a better and lighter tone.

He just chuckled then turn away from you. “Nothing important.” He answered, sneaking a glance at you to only see your unamused expression. He was about to add on when he felt his phone vibrate, he was just supposed to ignore it but it kept vibrating that it was too much.

“You should get that.” Ten was already pulling out his phone when you said that, his light and bright demeanor quickly changing into a serious and grim expression.

He turn to you, phone still in hand and at a glance, you saw he was texting with someone. “Do you have your phone with you?” He asked, now being serious.

You just nodded as you dug through your pockets. “Yeah, why? Everything alright?” You asked, opening the phone only to see your twitter and instagram notifications are blowing up.

“Do you have any internet connection? Can you check your socials?” You were already on it when he mentioned it, seeing multiple comments coming in on your most recent post with Ten, one a few days ago.

You heard Ten calling your name and even sneaking glances on your phone but you were reading through the comments and even reading all of your mentions and replies on some of your tweets.

You were about to give your phone to Ten but then you received multiple and continuous messages from Vare.

Let’s chat again, who is on the wrong here? Vare, Ten, Hana or Yn?

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bowsersforeskin · 3 years

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aaaa thank u for tagging me teddy @adrawrable ive wanted 2 do one of these forever!!!

rules: answer 30 questions and tag however many blogs you want!

name: zed

gender: whatever gender goes best with my outfit (they/them)

star sign: scorpio uwu

height: 5′6??? i think....its been forever since ive measured myself

time: 11:23 pm

birthday: november 2nd

favorite bands: cage the elephant, 100 gecs, manchester orchestra,san cisco, the front bottoms (sorry)

favorite solo artists: uhhhh hozier....porter robinson...kiana lede...still woozy

last movie: moonrise kingdom

last show: i just finished the good place which is VERY good also jamila jamil is hot....

when did i create this blog: august 2013....help

what i post: mostly memes but also mangacaps, capybaras, redwood trees, assorted frog/mollusk content, and angry commie shit

last thing i googled: gojuchang

other blogs: uhhh @demonfoxinthestars which is my okami sideblog, @zedcrossing is my animal crossing sideblog, theres a few more that have been dead for over 3 years that i havent gotten around 2 deleting

do i get asks: almost never :( tumblr also likes to gobble up asks right after i see them

why i chose my url: i actually really really liked mudposter but my suuuper controlling manipulative ex was in my twitter dms earlier this month and i have my tumblr linked in the caard in my twitter bio so like. kind of a safety thing. anyways its mossunion now because i like moss and also think unions are very sexy

following: 145

followers: 1168 (why would anyone do that to themselves is beyond me)

instruments: i have zero musical ability but im teaching myself kalimba

what i am wearing: sheep kigurumi

dream job(s): bro idek anymore.....i just want to do something that will help others

dream trip: tbh just going to see my Huband but if i have 2 pick like. Locations (tm) ig i want 2 see the northern lights...and go back to carlsbad caverns....

favorite foods: potatoes. any kinda potato is good. also love shepards pie, watermelon, any and all berries, ginger ANYTHING, gyoza, fried chicken gizzards, nata de coco jubes, california burritos, chilaquiles, strawberry ice cream :)

nationality: american

favorite song: idk ive been listening to sad machine a lot recently but i cant say i have a definitive favorite

last book i read: i keep trying to read fellowship of the ring (so im gonna say that) but every single time i start it something Big happens in my life and i forget about it....

top 3 fictional universes i’d like to live in: uhhhh fullmetal alchemist (come on now alchemy sexie), animal crossing (id love to be able 2 pay off a house), and probably howls moving castle....magic sexy

tagging: @jiggery-duggery @kayamari @ferpykins @whodoyousay and any other mutuals who want 2 do this

#oc #tag games #man i havent done one of these in FOREVER

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yume-x-hanabi · 4 years

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Writer Meta Meme

I decided to do all the questions on this meme :)

1. Tell us about your current project(s) – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

My current project is Concubinage, my gaiwin arranged marriage AU. It started as a random, entirely self-indulgent idea, but it has since grown into an actual project. Progress is good, I’ve managed to do bi-monthly updates and I have 30k in my drafts so far.

What I love the most about it is that, since it’s an AU, I’m pretty free to do whatever I want. I don’t have to be too careful of timelines and so on. Plus, in this AU, Gaius and Wingul are able to get closer than they otherwise would, due to the different circumstances. They have their own trials, but it’s different than in the canon timeline.

Another current project is Tales of Xillia Week, but I didn’t get much inspiration for it so I think I’m gonna do meta/headcanon posts more than fics ^^;

2. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

I’m looking forward to getting to the part where it��s just domestic fluff haha. It’ll take a while to reach that point though.

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

Not just one scene ig, but I’ve been wanting to write one-shots showing how the Chimeriad survived, and... haven’t gotten around to planning it. So it’s pretty low on my project list tbh.

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

I have... a few, but they’re all spoilers for future chapters XD;;

5. What character that you’re writing do you most identify with?

I don’t... really identify with characters. I mean, they’re pretty different than me in personality, life and circumstances...

6. What character do you have the most fun writing?

I love writing Gaius and Wingul of course, but Agria’s probably the most fun. She’s completely unrestrained, which makes her pretty easy and fun to let loose XD

7. What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree?

Exposition and worldbuilding XD

I can’t help it, I always need to develop the setting...

8. Is what you like to write the same as what you like to read?

Yes. I would love it if more people wrote gaiwin XD

9. Are you more of a drabble or a longfic kind of writer? Pantser or plotter? Do you wish you were the other?

I used to be more of a ficlet writer, but I’m currently doing well with a longfic XD

As for the rest, it varies. I like to plot and outline a bit, but it’s often rather loose and I let inspiration guide me.

10. How would you describe your writing process?

Wait for inspiration time, energy and motivation to align.

11. What do you envy in other writers?

Those who update super long fics every week. How do you do it????

12. Do you want your writing to be famous?

Naah, I’m fine in my corner of fandom. Though I wouldn’t say no to a few more readers, if only to know that the ship still sails xD

13. Do you share your writing online? (Drop a link!) Do you have projects you’ve kept just for yourself?

Yep, I post on AO3. And all projects are meant to be posted one day, but some aren’t simply because they aren’t finished.

14. At what point in writing do you come up with a title?

The beginning, usually, but I might change it

15. Which is harder: titles or summaries (or tags)?

Tags are easy. Titles and summaries are hard, and I always end up with something boring but heh, as long as they get the meaning across...

16. Tried anything new with your writing lately? (style, POV, genre, fandom?)

It was last year, but I tried first person pov with my Agria fic, because that fits her well. I’d like to try poetry, maybe.

17. Do you think readers perceive your work - or you - differently to you? What do you think would surprise your readers about your writing or your motivations?

I have no idea tbh. When I write, I like to imagine what my readers will think (especially like when I write funny scenes, I hope they’ll make people laugh), but idk if it’s exactly like I think.

18. Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them.

In Concubinage, I considered adding a plotline where Arst met an ex and had to deal with complicated feelings about it -- being reminded how it was to be in a loving relationship vs political marriage, craving intimacy like he used to have with said ex, etc. I ended up scrapping the idea though.

I also have... two or three possible ways things can play out in a much later plotpoint, and I think I’m pretty sure of which way I’ll go already, but the other possibilities exist. Maybe I’ll make a post about all abandoned plotlines one day...

19. Is there something you always find yourself repeating in your writing? (favourite verb, something you describe ‘too often’, trope you can’t get enough of?)

“And, but, and, but...” XD;

Also characters often find themselves doing something before they knew it...

My style is probably pretty repetitive. I’m not a native speaker, and I feel limited sometimes...

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

Concubinage is the result of watching too many sageuk and taiga drama. No I’m not sorry.

When writing AU, I always like to include “cameo” of the original storyline (for example, as the plot of a book, or treating the canon games as a fractured dimension in Chimeriad Live AU’s, etc)

In Fractured Lives, I try to alternate Wingul and Gaius’ pov. It’s probably gonna bite me in the ass when some plot points work better in one pov but the chapter requires the other. I’ll probably have to come up with some fillers or something...

I have extensive headcanon about Auj Oule’s geography, history etc, which pops up in a lot of (planned) fics. Even if it’s different fics/AU’s (ex. Concubinage vs my pre-game gaiwin project vs the Wingul fic I was writing for the big bang), I reuse the same settings and OC’s. Most of those aren’t written/posted yet so it’s pretty self-contained for now, but if I ever get to completing those projects I hope it won’t be too confusing to readers who don’t follow all the stories...

21. What other medium do you think your story would work well as? (film, webcomic, animated series?)

If I had the art skills, I’d love to turn some of them into comics ;A;

22. Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?

Sometimes. Usually because I need to refresh my memory before writing a new chapter XD

23. What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?

That project to write the whole pre-game Gaius & Wingul history, that’s something I’ve been wanting since forever. Well, I originally wanted to read it, but since no one’s gonna do it, I started thinking I should write it. It’s gonna be a huge project though...

24. Would you say your writing has changed over time?

I honestly have no idea. I do sense a difference in that it’s much easier for me to just write now; I guess habit helps. But I have no idea if style changed or anything lol.

25. What part of writing is the most fun?

Filling the tag with my OTP XD

#yume fanfiction #ask meme

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straykats · 4 years

Text

cle: levanter

kat’s thoughts on the album that no one asked for (insert that weird googly eyed emoji with tongue out)

stop

i’ve always loved intro tracks because (most of the time) they give you a taster of every track on the album??

felix’s rap reminds me of his rap in ?? ? ??? miroh ??? i think (off the top of my heads) the rhythm is incredibly similar, only a few variations in beat

changbin and hyunjins rap section also reminds me of their rap in miroh

it’s actually really weird to me that stop is the first song on this album, and sO many of its sounds and stuff is super similar to Miroh??? which (if im not mistake) is the first in the cle series??? maybe someone can make a theory out of this idk lol

double knot

okay this is obvs not my first reaciton and opinions to it but yknow what lets hear them anyways lmao

i’ve always loved the glass shaterring and rope sound

also maybe im biased but minho’s single lines are actually so nice

oh but this version on the album is ot8 vers,, makes sense, ig but :(

i love how it ends as well, with the glasss shattering

levanter

only half way through did i realise that this is the second/third time i’ve heard it bc i watched the mv already lmao

minhos lines got me teary eye emoji (im on my laptop rn i cant emoji)

i fucking LOVE the falsetto prechorus, and then how it leads into a full chorus with all of them

also like the lyrics got me emo

the bass

IN THE CHORUS “i wanna be myself” you can hear ?? im gonna assume its felix but his really deep voice as backing vocals. its super far back

omg the bit in changbins rap when the pull back a lot of the sounds and its just the bass drum thing

elecrtic gUITAR HECKAS YEAH

i love the ?? ? sound distribution in the chorus (with earphones) bc the main vocal is center but when its chantyed you hear it from all surround?

as a music student i should know my terms better but oh well

i love the instrumental in the dance break

the instrumental at the end is also so amazing, the way everythihng is suddenly pulled out and the vocal hands for a split second

booster

i love the bass thingy

almost mimics the “da dada da” thing in double knot

oo hyunjin to minho sounds so nICE i think thats them anyways

“oooh ohh oh oh “ fucking LOVE

build up in prechorus is very booster

yES we have a bass drop after pulling everything out

omg the second ?? loop time section of the chorus, the bass drop is held back and it’s??? almost on beat two but it’s not on two it’s just before ??? i think ??? but it’s not on the “and” of one either

i love the vocals in the bg of the chorus too

transition into hyunjins rap is funky (not literally) i love it

theres a ticking sound (wHaTs ThAt MysTerIOuS tIcKInG nOISE) and its a metronome i think (also im lacking the counting ability but is it ticking 12312345123... ???)

and the warp iNTO JISUNGS i think HECKAS YEAH THAT WAS SO COOL

i love the nokia sounding bloop sound (idk how to describe it) in the prechorus

hOhoho christmas came early with that wavering ??? keys sound im losing my musical terms

the “speed it uuuuUUUUUUP” section reminds me of nct but idk how lmao

god i love booster sm

astronaut

i didn’tnotice it before but felix backing vocals too!!!

i used to dislike the beginning bc the keys come in a split second before he vocals but i kinda love it now hehe

this sound really makes me smile

theres something about the mixing in this song ??? reminds me of levanter. idk how to explain it

oh there’s echo/reverb on all the vocals

i love hyunjin’s IDK KOREAN but the two words he repeays

the bit at the end of changbinsrap tbh transitions funny into the prechorus ?? it’s like space guns pewpew idk how to explain it, it bounces between my ears super quick

“aYe”

bass drum w lix’s section sounds so nice,

that whole thing chan and lix said in chan’s room about this song making you jump around

sunshine

i love it sO FUCKING MUCH

the sample of just street wsounds i love it i love it i lOVE IT

THE CHORD PROGRESSION IS SO WEIRD NOT REALLY

arpeggiator thing that reminds me of ??? idk what its called ??? night owl or smth on samsung AHAHAH

oi love how everything is slowly but quickly added in

guys i love this song so much

the falsetto w plucky synth sounds ?? yum

i love the soft falsettos throughout

idk what to say this is such a nice song

oH THE DESCENDING SOUNDS in the second (?) progression and its minor ??? i think there was already a lot of minor things but it jsut became more obvious

ooooo sustained chords in prechorus heckas yeah

the sound that rings out in the left ear ??? yum

tHE SILENCE and then the bass boooOOoomm that was so nice im in love with sound rn

this song reminds me of winter/autumn and the rays of sunshine peeking through

you can stay

same keys as 4419 but muted??

felix and kickdrum is literally my kink rn

this makes me warm

chano :(((

magical glitter chimes make me feel like im floating through space or glittery tea

this song really does give me 4419 vibes

i love the build up and transition into the chorus

chan’s “you can stay, yeah” is making me so emo but its so calming and reassuring

god fucking i love this song so much too

the zweeeep sound hehe

oh shit the end of the bridge has me so emo

i also really love the “oh oh ohoh oh”

omg noooo the end is all of them im gonna cry im gonna cRY

the end has the same energy as mixtape2 i really am oging to cry oh no

i think the end of this song is really effective as the last song on the (online) album and to the cle series bc it really has a “closing the curtains” feel

in a nutshell:

i love this album so much omg it may or may not be on shuffle forever

i ??? actually love booster, you can stay, and sunshine so much?? unless its just bc theyre the “newest”

i love skz hehe im cry now goodbye

#cle: levanter #kat talks levanter #♡

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karmanticmoved · 5 years

Note

1-85 uwu

j esus okay

1. describe yourself.

uh,, emotional ig, dumbass, quiet, exhausted all of the time, v queer, healthy mix of feminine and masculine, insecure, and not tha t great tbh. kinda a pussy ass b itch

2. if you could go anywhere for a week all expenses paid where would it be?

idrk. maybe somewhere like a hella nice beach in another country, maybe somewhere in europe. i like travelling but i hate the travel to get there and have no money so i havent put thought into it. maybe hawaii or somewhere like that.

3. do you have siblings?

the one thats still alive is my half brother

4. what is your favorite constellation, why?

orion maybe bc i don't know a lot but i can see that one from my bedroom window even in the city n idk. its comforting. or scorpius cause i'm a scorpio

5. favorite color.

yellow, pink, or blue.

6. what kind of music do you listen to?

almost anything. whatever catches my interest.

7. favorite flower. (you can name as many as you want cause flowers are awesome)

forgot what i said last time but those

yellow carnations i think?

8. if you could do magic, what is the first spell you would learn?

maybe smth to put myself to sleep immediately bc f uCk

9. favorite childhood memory.

my summer camp memories are pretty great. also memories of my dad and i going fishing are good.

10. have you ever been cheated on?

i mean in theory i couldve been bc online relationships but no. n im polyam and have identified as such for a majority of my relationships so no.

11. if you could describe your perfect room, what would it be?

big but not too big, yknow? like big enough that it can be filled and have room to walk around and lay on the ground or whatever but not Empty. and a pretty big bed to stretch out on, n a closet in the room. multiple windows w blackout curtains so theres light but it can be blocked out. n fluffy rugs or carpeting but preferably rugs in case smth spills so we can get it out of at least Remove the rug. and probably a cat tree thing in corner for dipper. n a computer desk and actual lights that light up the whole room. but probably,, fairy lights too bc full lights too bright. and i kinda want a pink room but blue or yellow work also. a nd pride flags on the walls + posters and various other stuff bc plain walls are boring. and tons n tons of b ooks too.

12. favorite animal.

river otter

13. what was the last photo you took of?

cat

14. do you believe in soul mates?

i'm not sure. i do kinda think there are people who you will like. really really click with and who become so important in your life that they're like. apart of u yknow? but i don't think that anyone as an individual needs to keep those people in their life forever. they arent destined to stay with them, and they shouldnt force that relationship (platonic, familial, romantic, or whatever) even if they were close for years and years. screw destiny. youll have people you care about, and sometimes you have to break that bond to save yourself, and thats okay. there will be other people who can and will be just as important. that got kinda off topic skbsks. i don't think theres really like Destiny soulmates. but there could be like. soulmates in the sense of for however long we're together, we're soul bonded. even if its not forever. does that even make se nse skbsns

15. do you hang toilet paper over or under?

over is the one thats socially acceptable right

16. your go to place to eat & your favorite thing to get there.

idk theres a place near a movie theater closeish to my house and its a nice little cafe and i dont eat there bc i dont eat much in general but i get their bubble tea and i love. raspberry bubble tea w rose popping bubbles. its comfort drink.

17. do you believe everything happens for a reason?

no. sometimes shit happens for no reason, and its bullshit, but you can't reverse it, so you gotta figure out how to move on from it.

18. guilty pressures?

im assuming thats meant to be pleasures

umm,, idrk. i don't know what exactly i like that would count as a guilty pleasure so,,

19. favorite mythical creature, why?

merpeople are s o cool i fuckin. love funky aquatic pals hell yeah. maybe im just Water babey but. they're rad. dragons are also hella cool bc like dragons???? theyre scaly and prett y and can breathe fire or have wings and kill u?? also like selkies bc again. water. but i used to hear a lot of stories abt them and theyre so nea t

20. something most people don’t know about you.

i have the potential to be a huge asshole and also kinda Wish to fuckin murder someone sometimes but. i act nice most of the time anyway.

not murder murder but i can get angr y enough that i just wanna Stab smth

21. where did you grow up, what was it like?

grew up kinda near the edge of the city, still in it but not like the main city area. in western washington. it was kinda rly boring, i used to spend a lot more time outside or just by myself playing with leaves or toys or whatever. when i had friends i played make believe w them even when outside of school. so yeah. boring id say.

22. do you believe aliens exist?

sure.

23. what was your last google search?

other than names for some actors n stuff, i was looking up various star wars things

24. what did your last relationship teach you?

the one that like. ended? i guess thatd be. be careful with your own feelings and try to figure them out before jumping into anything, and also don't try to force smth that in reality isnt really working.

25. would you relocate for love?

honestly yeah

26. do you hold grudges or forgive easy?

both. it just depends on how badly i or someone i care about was hurt by it. more likely to hold a grudge if a friend was hurt by someone d eep enough to leave a lasting impact or if they don't get a genuine apology i will be 🔫🔫. or if the person keeps hurting them. even if that person is also my friend.

27. favorite book.

favorite graphic novel is bloom by kevin panetta

favorite books in general are autoboyography, more happy than not, and what if its us. all gay. i know. its okay. im a kinnie.

28. do you consider yourself an extrovert or introvert?

introvert by far

29. have you ever kept a journal, do you now?

i tried once. i probably will have to once i go see a therapist, or at least one for my Bad Thoughts

30. top 5 favorite movies.

in no particular order

little shop of horrors, love simon, coco, it (2017 and 1990), and shazam! ig? maybe others but i definitely Forgot all the shit ive watched

31. do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

32. what is your greatest fear?

definitely gotta be all of the people i love hating me and abandoning me or secretly hating me and then leaving me without saying anything. and the worst part is im always afraid its gonna happen babeyy

33. favorite alcoholic beverage.

im baby

34. most embarrassing thing you’ve done.

im embarrassed by my own existence. i don't remember the Most embarrassing thing

35. do you believe in ghosts?

not until i have proof that i can actually trust and believe in

36. what is the best and worst part of your personality?

idk ig im nice. but im also. very easily set off on certain emotions especially the bad ones which sucks like especially jealousy bc i dont wanna!! feel jealous!! tho i think that ties into my greatest fear bc my brain immediately tells me im useless to everyone and they hate me. but. sometimes i get jealous and then feel bad for that and then hate myself for all of it. bc my friends deserve to hang out w other people and care about other people im just fucking stupid babey !!

37. should you split the dinner bill?

i rly don't get why you wouldnt tbh like if u both wanna be there u should both pay. but if one person gonna pay it should be the person that asked.

38. are you a good liar?

most of the time. when it comes to my mental health i can either lie great or im literally breaking down in front of the person so

39. what keeps you up at night?

depressing thoughts. anxiety about everything. wishing i could cuddle and fall asleep w jay. sometimes i just cant sleep bc im too restless.

40. would you rather go without your phone or music?

music. i need my phone to text my friends and i Need my friends

41. do you believe in god?

what god would let the world get to the point its at. what god would allow people to do such fucked up shit.

no. i don't.

42. how do you relax when frustrated?

cry, take a nap, take a shower, listen to music, cuddle dipper

43. what’s something that offends you?

when people go "oh yeah i support gay rights but im still gonna eat at chick fil a bc its good" like i get so fucking. pissed off by that. youre not gonna fucking s ta rv e without their goddamn chicken. i know a bi person who goes there and says its okay bc they dont Directly Give Their money to Specifically anti gay organisations but im just. ugh. fucking pissed bc there are other places to get food just avoid the one place for fucks sake. their food is good it doesnt matter. its like saying yeah pewdiepie is a bad person and nazi and a racist asshole but his videos r funni haha so im gonna watch him anyway

44. favorite food

i hate myself whenever i eat food

45. if you were on a 10 hour flight and could sit and talk to any person the entire time, who would it be?

@destinedformuchmore or @pinaplelee

46. when do you feel the most confident?

never? but ig i feel confident when working on tech construction during theater tech. as long as i know what im doing.

47. what do you do in your free time?

sleep. draw. cry. play video games. talk to my friends.

48. is there anyone who has completely lost your respect

matpat did for being a dick abt neopronouns and making a transphobic joke and only apologizing when a cis person told him to. not when hundreds of trans people did. and also other jokes that are inherently offensive to various groups. a n d for making extremely not Child friendly jokes in his videos which are very much targeted towards kids. say what you will about the target audience, there are a lot of children who watch them. please stop making creepy nsfw jokes if you won't even swear, sir.

49. have you ever broken someone’s heart?

i guess so yeah. but she also broke mine first.

50. did/do you play sports in school?

i did. i don't anymore bc highschool sports are bullshit but. basketball, ultimate, and soccer.

51. when are you happiest?

talkin 2 jay prolly

52. coffee or tea?

tea

53. what is one possession you own you wouldn’t want to live without?

my binder. or my stuffed cat puppet thing ive had since i was 7

54. what is the first thing you notice about a person?

their general emotions, mostly. like if theyre in a good mood or if theyre bored or distracted or whatever. or if they seem interested in actually talking to me

55. what is your favorite season, why?

fall. my birthday, the atmosphere is nice, it's pretty, its hoodie weather.

56. what makes you laugh?

stupid little comments or jokes my friends make tend to make me laugh a lot harder than i should but jabdn

57. are you a clean or messy person?

a mix. i Cannot have some things messy or i will ksjqkd. Die but i don't make my bed too often bc its ha rd when its against 3 walls.

58. what is important for a successful relationship?

communication communication communicati

talk about ur goddamn problems n keep talking to each other.

59. what was your upcoming like?

if thats supposed to be upbringing

idk, very relaxed. pretty easygoing and kinda boring.

60. favorite holiday?

any holiday in december rly. i don't celebrate a Lot but the atmosphere and others celebrating is nice to see. i kinda wish my parents did more to embrace the jewish part in our family blike. whatever. christmas is fun.

61. what is the first thing you’d do if you won the lottery?

give half of it to my parents. and then probably use it for plane ticket

62. what’s the best pizza topping combination?

hawaiian pizza. pinapple n canadian bacon ty

63. favorite outdoor activity.

frisbee

64. how are you? honestly.

not great. i want highschool to end.

65. would you rather go camping in the woods or stay at a beach resort?

idk. camping is fun but if i get to stay at the resort for free i would rly love 2 stay at a resort tbh ive never done that

66. what is the most beautiful thing in nature?

waterfalls. or rivers or just. water in nature. and very green forests. aNd snow.

67. favorite type of candy?

none

68. if your life was a book, what would be the title?

i can and will do arson, an autobiography

69. what movie quotes do you use of a regular bases?

i quote john mulaney and whatever my obsessions are pretty regularly

70. what was cool when you were young but not cool now?

silly bandz. pokemon cards. these weird unicorn figures i collected

71. what’s the craziest conversation you have ever eves dropped on?

im mostly the one having the weird conversations

72. what’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched?

i watched one about dogs and cats and their evolution which was lit

73. what’s the worst hairstyle you’ve had?

when i let the lady just go fuckin ham on my hair bc i was watching spirit that horse movie and didnt wanna stop so it was. rly bad bangs and hella short in back but not the sides

74. what do you like to cook?

whatever im hungry for. i don't have the energy to cook a lot

75. what’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild?

really pretty tropical fish

76. what’s the funniest tv show you’ve ever seen?

idk. i rly like schitts creek its pretty amusing

77. do you usually follow your heart or your head?

heart at first but my head if things get bad

78. what is your favorite quote?

"i have a splitting headache and i think i'm dying. how are you?"

or a character just saying "try harder" when another failed to do smth.

this is supposed to be deep or whatever but im in a Mood

79. what’s the weirdest crush you have ever had?

once had a crush on a character in a minecraft parody lmao

80. what’s your love language?

sending shit that makes me think of them. n just. making tons of stuff for them both online and irl like bracelets.

81. do you ever feel alone?

oh yeah. all the time. im not but it feels like i am which sucks

82. ever been bullied?

yeah

83. are you usually early or late?

late bc of my parents rip

84. what kind of art do you enjoy most?

drawing, or writing. also theater.

85. what do you wish you knew more about?

i just wish i could remember everything ive learned more about. i know a lot i just forget all.

id like to know more about forensics tho

#asks #long post #friends

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piximiplays · 5 years

Text

Take Us Back “Review” ig

Wow that episode was just... wow 😭 That was actually a really good ending (at least the one I got, I'm not sure about any other endings there might be) to an amazing series 😭😭

Also, if you haven’t blocked the twdg spoilers tag, I’ll put a break here but if you haven’t played the episode and/or don’t want major spoilers for Take Us Back, don’t read the rest of this long ass post. You have been warned. (That sounded super serious sksksksks 😂)

Ok so I’m just gonna start off with the beginning when AJ voiced the “last time on The Walking Dead” like damn that entire sequence put my anxiety (which was already super high because I was literally freaking out about possibly getting Clem or anyone else killed) through the roof. He was listing all the things I’ve taught him in the past and that shit honestly gave me ten different types of anxiety.

So, I got James killed in the last episode so I have no idea what he says in this episode or anything like that, but I’ve heard that it’s not great sksksksk

Anyway, the fact that we literally saw James as a walker broke me so much I was literally crying at that point.

And then when AJ said he wanted to be a firefighter damn that shit was lowkey kinda cute. At that point I was a little more relaxed because we were somewhat safe in the cave.

But then shit went so south when we left the cave and after we met up with Violet.

Of course I had to mention the tree house and omg I almost cried again just thinking back to season 1 when we met Clementine in her tree house 😭 (Even though I’m pretty sure she said she hated her tree house in season 2 abgsfhj)

And of course I had to rename Ericsons to Castle Violet who do you think I am

But the bridge OOF

Fuckign Minerva akajsfkjh I’m wondering if there was a way where she could have lived I highly doubt it but damn I wasn’t expecting her just die like that wow I was lowkey kinda hoping maybe she would get some kind of redemption but wow that whole dragged out death was so gruesome but not necessarily in a bad way, at least not for this series sksksksks

And damn Minnie just had to fucking slice Clem’s leg that shit looked like it hurt askdjashdg

AND THEN TENN FUCKIGN DIED WHAT THE FUCK

I think if I hadn’t told AJ to make the tough calls then he wouldn’t have shot Tenn, and Violet probably would have died instead (or Louis if you saved him at the end of episode 2) Fucking hell

And when we split up and Vi went back to the school goddamnit that scared me because I had a feeling something was gonna go wrong AND I WAS FUCKING RIGHT WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK

At this point I was fucking crying my goddamn eyes out because CLEM GOT FUCKING BIT WHAT THE ACTUAL SHIT JFHJKSGHJGF

I was such a mess at this point there was honestly no saving me

The entire time I was shouting at Clem to just chop her leg off at that point because there was no way that Clem was gonna die in such a stupid way like damn. wait fuck that's how Lee died AKSFJKG IM SORRY LEE I DIDNT MEAN TO DISRESPECT YOU LIKE THAT FUCK

Anyway

And then when I got that fucking achievement after that at that point like, first of all fuck you game, second of all fuck you. But seriously, I was genuinely wondering if there was any way to avoid her getting bitten but idk at this point it’s almost 1am I have school in the morning and I am way too tired to replay the entire episode even though it was a lot shorter than I thought it was gonna be tbh probably because I didn’t look around for collectibles as much and because I probably didn’t pause the episode as much as I usually do while making hard decisions sksksks

And then when we made it to the barn and we fucking started playing as AJ I was freaking out at this point

But when Clem was literally dying I was sobbing the entire time and just fuck, the parallels between that and season 1 when Lee died goddamn that shit hurted

I literally had to pause the game at this point because AJ was crying right in my ears and I couldn’t focus because I was also crying and only one of us can cry at a time buddy

Originally in episode 3 I told AJ to leave Clem if she ever got bit but fuck I didn’t think it was actually gonna happen so I changed my mind and told AJ to kill her because god damn I’m not gonna let her turn into a walker fuck that (even though that’s exactly what I did with Lee fuck) (Also I just looked and I’ve literally used the word fuck in this post like 23 times so far sksksksksks 😂)

And when it cut to black after that, literally all that was left was the sound of my sobs goddamn. And the achievement “final lesson” that shit just made me cry even harder

And the fucking ranch flashback right after goddamnit I was still mourning Clem you can’t just have me play as her again like that, shit. Also damn poor AJ 😭😭

And then when AJ was fishing and Rosie showed up damn she actually put a smile on my face somehow. I didn’t think that was possible at that point

Clem’s hatttt 😭 I was so scared I wouldn’t get it because I kept missing the quick time events but then Rosie got it thank god

And omg when we got back to the school and Take Us Back started playing I was even more of a mess I thought the episode was gonna end there but boy am I glad it didn’t

Also omg Ruby and Aasim holding hands damn that shit was adorable

When the music faded out and shit, I was like ok I think there’s still a little more to the episode but then FUCKING CLEM STARTED TALKING AND AT FIRST I WAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING IS AJ IMAGINING THIS BUT NO CLEM WAS ALIVE AND OH MY GOD I LITERALLY STARTED CRYING AGAIN BUT THIS TIME THEY WERE HAPPY TEARS AJHAFSGF

I was so fucking glad that Clementine was alive I didn’t even care about the fact that she was missing a leg I was just so glad to see her oh my god I really thought she was dead

And they all lived happily ever after

Jk except for Tenn GODDAMNIT HE DESERVED BETTER

But seriously, I was so glad Clem wasn’t dead and that mostly everyone was alive I seriously thought I was gonna get a shitty ending (But I’m also a little confused on how Clem survived the bite. I know she obviously cut her leg off and she did say something to AJ about she was glad he didn’t listen to her in the barn which I’m assuming was referring to when she told him to kill her, but if that was where Clem had her leg chopped off, I feel like the bite would already have spread to the rest of her system at that point? Idk I’m not gonna question it I’m just extremely glad she’s not dead)

And the very ending where we walked through the hallway and it showed all the names from the Still Not Bitten Team damn I loved that so much

And omg when we went into the room and were able to look at Disco Broccoli and his friends, I noticed that the option to look at Disco Broccoli kept popping up so I kept selecting it and ALKHASDFJKG I FELT LIKE I ENTERED ANOTHER DIMENSION WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT I don’t wanna spoil it but y’all need to see that if you haven’t already skskskkssk whether you replay the episode and see yourself or if someone makes a video of it on YouTube (which I feel like someone will eventually)

But omg the very ending with the “thank you for playing” that shit hurted 😭 I literally started crying again but not nearly as much as I thought I would tbh I thought I would be bawling my eyes out for hours but at this point I just feel kinda numb 😂 Like it hasn’t really set in that The Walking Dead just ended. Maybe because I can immortalize it forever in my Steam library and replay it however many times I want (and by reading fanfiction sksksksksks)

(Also this post is gonna be put into my queue until more people play the episode so it probably won’t be posted until later tomorrow. So just know that this post was made at 1 in the morning a few hours after the release of episode 4 and I have to go to school tomorrow morning. Wish me luck)

Long story short, that entire episode was amazing (even if it did fuck with my head a little and was a little emotionally scarring sksksks) and I am so glad I was basically able to grow up with Clementine and this entire series

Also here are some screenshots because why not 😂

sksksksk AJ’s face 😭😂

This shit hurted 😭 (But it’s also a really pretty picture and I highkey want this framed on my wall or at least as my wallpaper on my phone or some shit)

What the fuck when did I ever say it was okay to try and kill someone if they try to steal from you alskhjags (Update: I just realized that this was referring to when I attacked Abel aksjdhkhg AJ THATS NOT WHAT I WANTED YOU TO TAKE AWAY FROM THAT)

This was actually really cool and even though it made me feel a little guilty because some of these choices I made weren’t the best, oh well

And here are my choices because why not 😂

And lastly, I want to thank Skybound from the bottom of my heart for saving this incredible game. If it wasn’t for this company these last two episodes wouldn’t have ever come out and Clementine and AJ’s story wouldn’t have gotten a proper ending. So thank you so much Telltale for starting and creating this amazing game and thank you to Skybound for giving it a proper sendoff.

#twdg #twdg spoilers #spoilers #dont say i didnt warn you #queue #telltale games #skybound #skybound games #the walking dead game #great now im crying #goddamnit

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psychicwonu-blog · 6 years

Text

When Skies are Gray

A/N: Back at it again, trying out new writing styles. This is a longish one! I vaguely remember seeing something like this on ig a while ago, so I wanted to use that plot(kinda, partially) for this story. Also I’m not a doctor lmao so I apologize if anything is wrong! Anon, I hope this was sad enough for you. Writing this ripped my heart out.

Anon asked: “can i request something angsty/sad af for jisoo of SVT? i don’t really have much of a plot in mind, but i am in the mood to have my heart shattered ;)” honestly shmood

Group: Seventeen

Member: Joshua/Jisoo

Genre: AAAAAAAAAAAngst, non idol!AU

Warnings: Death, sickness, seizures, panic attacks, cursing, mentions of sex, just…sadness man

Rating: M

Word Count: 4.1k

This world isn’t kind. Joshua knew this. He knew that happiness wasn’t constant and that, sooner or later, his life would turn upside down, just as it did for everyone else. This world isn’t fair. He knew this, as well. The kind people, who spend their lives giving, are too often the ones who suffer. Crime goes unpunished, sickness untreated, greed swept under the rug. This world is unjust.

Joshua saw you for the first time in the library of your college campus. You were both there studying for upcoming exams. He spotted you as soon as he walked in. Seated in the corner of the room, you were reading back and forth through your notes and your laptop. He sat down at a table a few rows ahead of yours, facing you. He took glances at you every now and then, laughing to himself every time he’d look up to see a different expression. The sixth time he’d glanced up, you were fading away behind a bookshelf. Joshua closed his Music History text book and walked in your direction.

“First the staring, now you’re following me?” you whispered from behind him. Joshua jumped and spun around, facing you with pink cheeks. “Should I be worried?” you teased.

“I…I-I’m sorry. I just…” he fumbled over his words, pulling at the collar of his shirt. You only laughed at his awkwardness and began walking away. Joshua called out after you, earning himself several glares from fellow students. “What’s your name?” he questioned.

Spinning around on the heels of your sneakers grinning, you tilted your head to the side. “So you’re not like, some stalker or something?” you asked. He looked at you confused, and followed as you started walking again. “I mean, it’s good if you aren’t. But we take several classes together, Joshua. I’m a little hurt you don’t know my name.”

“I-we…?” he choked. You laughed once again at his awkwardness and sat back down at your table.

“You can bring your stuff over, if you want.”

He loved you. Wholeheartedly, unconditionally, in every way. There wasn’t a day that went by where he didn’t tell you, either. The feelings Joshua had for you were unbreakable. Love like that isn’t easy to come by. Some say it’s only once in a life time. You meant more than that to him. You weren’t just some lucky one in a million, you were his everything. Joshua knew it was dangerous. To let a person hold your heart in their hands. To let them break you down or open you up. But when it came to you he didn’t care. The good, the bad, he wanted you to see it all. Joshua wanted you to know him.

And you did.

The second time Joshua saw you was in your Musical Theater class. You were seated in the back, reading some novel he’d never heard of, seemingly unaware of the events unfolding around you. He smiled, waving at a few of his friends, before sitting in the seat next to yours.

“Hard to miss now, aren’t I?” you smirked, not looking up from your book. Joshua giggles and holds up a pen. You raise an eyebrow and stare at him.

“You, uh, let me use this last weekend. At the library.” he says with a small voice.

“That’s not my pen, Hong.” you state, taking it anyway. He bites his lip and nods, lowering his head. You turn your attention back to your book after saying, “You know, if you want to talk to me you just…can. You don’t need another reason.” to him.

“Okay.” he says, getting up. You scoff at his sudden burst of confidence, but you were unsuccessful in suppressing your grin. He doesn’t speak to you for the rest of the class, but you both steal glances at each other. The few times you caught him looking at you, you’d raise your eyebrows and point to the professor, signaling for him to pay attention.

Joshua never expected to let himself fall in this deep. Completely and utterly exposed to you. No walls, no guard, nothing holding him back from you. Of course he didn’t regret it, but if someone were to tell him just two years ago that he’d be head over heels in love at 23 he’d call them crazy. You never expected to fall for him the way you did, either. Hell, the last thing you expected to do in your senior year of college was find the love of your life. You hear stories all the time about college-sweethearts, but you and Joshua were more than that. A lot of times, those love stories end in early divorce because people don’t know each other like they think they do. Or they aren’t ready for commitment. As corny as it may sound, you were it for each other.

You two started hanging around each other more in the classes you shared. He’d sit with you, you’d sit with him. Some days you wouldn’t talk at all, but soon enough your friendship made its way outside of school. Joshua was funny, even when he wasn’t trying. From bad puns to odd expressions, you were always laughing at him for something.

“What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?” Joshua asked, almost laughing himself. You already knew the punchline, but seeing his eyes light up and crinkle at the sides made your heart swell.

“I dunno, what?” you mused.

“Aye, matey!” he said, laughing even before the words left his lips. Truthfully, you’d heard the joke enough to not think it funny anymore, but you laughed anyway. Mostly because Joshua had quite a contagious laugh.

“You’re awful, Josh. That was awful.” giggling, you shoved his arm with your shoulder.

“Get it? I’m 80? Comedic gold!” he exclaimed. You rolled your eyes at him.

“Jokes aren’t funny when you explain them.” you stated. He ruffled your hair and then pulled your hand into his. Your cheeks went pink as you stared down at your intertwined fingers. You hadn’t even noticed, but you’d been holding your breath.

“Is this okay?” Joshua asked, looking over at you. Nodding, you smile up at him.

“Yeah. Yeah, I like it. It’s nice.” you say shyly. He gives you a toothy grin and squeezes your hand. That was the first time he held your hand. God, the setting was perfect, too. You were walking, side by side, in Han River Park. You were admiring the moon and city lights reflecting off of the still water. It was supposed to just be like every other time you’d hung out, but that night was different. The way you’d look at each other, the way you spoke. That was the night he asked you out. You’d originally been upset because you wanted to ask him, but the night was perfect.

It started to rain, lightly, but nonetheless. Joshua cursed under his breath, but you held out your free hand and looked up to the sky. Joshua looked over at you with a confused smile. You felt him staring.

“What? I love the rain.” you defended yourself. Joshua laughed.

“We’ll get sick.” he argued. You looked at him and shrugged.

“We’ll take care of each other. Live a little, Hong.” you teased. He bit his lip and nodded, then reaching out his free hand and looking up to the sky.

Things were almost always perfect with Joshua. And how you’d gotten so lucky to have many more moments like these with him will forever remain a mystery.

He isn’t confrontational. At least not to the degree that most people are. He doesn’t like conflict, nor did he like arguing with you. Fights in your relationship were rare. You’d usually talk things out in a healthy manner, voices never reaching a yell. But, like in any relationship, fights were inevitable. Joshua was more often than not the one to apologize first. He couldn’t bear to stay mad at you, even if you were the one in the wrong.

“I don’t know why this is such a big fucking deal to you, Joshua!” you shouted at him, slamming his bedroom door behind you. You stormed through the hallway of his small apartment, heading for the kitchen. Just as you sat down at the table, you heard Joshua’s bedroom door open and close again, followed by heavy footsteps. He walked into the kitchen , rubbing his temples.

“Y/N, we’ve been together for a year, come next month. Explain to me why it shouldn’t be a ‘big fucking deal’ that you didn’t tell any of your family about us.” he said, calmly. Too calm for your liking. And the fact that he cursed made you even more uneasy. It wasn’t like Joshua.

This fight started over an overheard skype conversation between you and your parents. They had been asking you to come visit, updates with school, if you were seeing anyone. You didn’t give any straight answers. It hurt Joshua that you had never mentioned him to your parents.

“Joshua, my family…you don’t know them.” you explained. He shook his head, laughing in disbelief.

“And you don’t see a problem with that? I should know them, Y/N. I mean, Christ, you know everything about me. All of my family.” he argued. You stood up, walking over to him.

“I can’t just tell them. I couldn’t when you asked me out, I couldn’t after a few months, hell, I couldn’t a month ago.” you sighed. “And I can’t tell them now. They wouldn’t understand.” Joshua turned away from you and ran both hands through his hair, tugging at the roots a bit. He then turns back around and throws his hands up in a questioning way.

“They wouldn’t understand? What would they not understand?” he shouts. You flinch at the volume and tears threaten to spill. You hated these moments. Joshua wasn’t like this. You weren’t like this, either.

“How I feel about you, Josh. They wouldn’t get it! They’d tell me I’m too young to be this in love.” you yelled, raising your voice to match his. “God, and had I told them the day I fucking realized how I felt…they would’ve just called me foolish.” you finished, with a small voice. You were crying now, and Joshua looked as though he were on the verge of tears too.

“Why won’t you just open up to me?” he asked, walking closer to you. He grabbed your arms, and started to rub circles into your skin with his thumbs. “Let me in.”

You shake your head, tears falling onto the rug as you look down at your feet. Sighing, you meet his eyes again, letting out a single sob. “Because, I’m not you, Joshua. I’m not…you.”

Walking back to his bedroom, you wipe your cheeks. You resented fighting with him. All you wanted to do was take it all back. And for your parents to not be how they are. Joshua followed you, calling your name a few times. As you walked up to the bed you grabbed your pillow. Then, walking to the closet, you grabbed a spare blanket.

“Y/N, what are you doing?” he asks with a sigh.

“I’m going to sleep. I’m tired.” you respond. His shoulders drop, telling you that it’s only 9, but you ignore him. You walk out of his room, heading for his couch. You were mad enough to not want to sleep in the same room as him, but not mad enough to leave altogether. His couch isn’t exactly comfortable to sleep on, but you couldn’t change your mind now.

It didn’t take him long to sneak into the living room, laying down on the edge of the sofa and snaking his arms around your waist. He gently kissed your jaw, then your neck, then began apologizing.

“I’m sorry, okay?” he says, reaching a hand up to play with your hair. You relax into his hold and crack.

“I’m sorry, too. I love you.” you say, turning so that you’re facing him. He smiles at you and kisses your cheeks, then your lips, dragging his hand from your hair down to your hip.

“Sleep with me.” he requests. Your eyes shoot open and you shake your head.

“Make up sex isn’t healthy, Hong.” you argue, turning away again. He laughs into your hair and holds you closer to him.

“No, I mean like…come sleep with me in our room.” he explains. ‘Our room” you repeat in your mind. You sit up and kiss his forehead. He stands, and then pulls you off the couch, then pulls you into the room.

“Will you sing me to sleep, Josh?” you ask, though your voice is muffled due to your face being crammed into his chest. He inhales a deep breath and utters an “mm” before running his fingers through your hair.

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are gray. You’ll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away.” he sings softly. You’re asleep before he can finish the song. Joshua laughs at your squished cheeks and begins drifting off.

Knowing everything about a person isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. There are some things that should be left unsaid. Secrets that should be kept. Right? Joshua didn’t see it that way, in fact, he was furious you neglected to tell him about your cancer. Any significant other would be. It isn’t usually the type of thing you forget to mention or leave out. He saw some of your emails from a few doctors who were offering you new medication to try. You had your reasons, all of which he didn’t personally understand. But, when you had ended up in the hospital due to shortness of breath, then no breathing at all, Joshua was only terrified.

“You…you have…” Joshua whispers as you walk into the room. You look up from your phone to see him seated in front of your laptop, tears running down his face. Stopping in your tracks, you squeeze your eyes shut.

“Josh,” you say. “What did you see?”

“You…you have ca-cancer.” he cries. He puts his face in hands to cover his sobs. You break down, too.

“Joshua I-” you try to apologize but he cuts you off.

“Why? Why did you not tell me? How could you not tell me? Y/N I…I’m me.” Joshua still had hot tears running down his cheeks, onto his chin. He looked at you, waiting for an answer. You couldn’t find anything to say. “So that’s it? I don’t get an explanation? Nothing?” he says angrily, walking away.

“Josh, please.” you cry, grabbing his arm. He pulls away from you, telling you not to touch him, and keeps going. You fall into the chair next to you and pull your shirt into your fist at your chest. Your breathing became sporadic, and your lungs felt like they were burning. You began to shake, feeling every beat you heart made, pounding against your chest. You tried your breathing exercises you’d do when you had panic attacks, but they weren’t working. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t catch your breath.

“Josh. Please.” you tried calling out for him between short breaths. He didn’t answer, and it only made you feel more pressure. Soon enough, you lost all control of your body and started to collapse.

Joshua ran back into the room when he heard you fall. He initially thought you’d started to throw things or…just anything other than what had actually happened. He entered the room, seeing you laying on the floor, shaking on your back. Joshua had no idea what was happening. He couldn’t get you to respond, despite your eyes being open. He called 9-1-1 and explained the best he could. You had stopped shaking by the time the ambulance arrived, but your eyes were still wide open. The EMTs ran into your shared apartment of three months and took you from Joshua. They got your body onto the stretcher and pushed you to the vehicle.

“Sir, what you explained sounds like a seizure. Can you tell me about their medical history? Do they have epilepsy, any known tumors, anxiety disorders?” one EMT asked Joshua. She looked over at him as she held an oxygen mask up to your face. He looked at your unconscious body and began crying again. “Sir!” she yelled.

“I…they…they uh…they have th-thyroid cancer…that’s all I…” he said softly. The EMT nodded and began conversing with the other technicians around her. One of the drivers said you’d arrive at the hospital in about 10 more minutes. They went by so slowly for Joshua. Every second he saw you laying there, going in and out of consciousness, with that mask on your face was like torture. He felt like he was to blame. ‘I never should have left them there alone after finding something out like that.’ he thought to himself. All he could do was stare blankly down at the floor of the ambulance.

“They’re crashing!” shouted the EMT who’d been directly by your side the whole ride. Joshua looked up from his hands.

“What? Crashing? What does that mean?” he questioned as another technician shuffled to the back.

“Start compressions.” he heard the woman say. Soon everything became background noise as he lost himself in his thoughts.

Joshua stayed by your side, day and night, neglecting to take care of himself. The one time he did leave, he came back to find three doctors resuscitating you. He didn’t want to be away if another scare like that happened. Your cancer had progressed significantly in the months following the last surgery you had, two years ago. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, that surgery was supposed to buy you time. Save your life. Of course, hardly anything goes as planned, especially when you’re terminally ill. It’s all just a matter of time.

Your eyes fluttered open slowly, and you winced at the bright light shining through the curtains of the hospital window. Looking around, you saw flowers, get well balloons, and cards scattered on the tables in the room. Joshua was leaning over onto your bed from his chair. His hair was a mess, becoming greasy at the roots. It pained you to see him like this. His head started to move due to your shifting on the bed.

“Hey,” he said, grabbing your hand. You squeezed his palm and started to cry. “shh, shh baby it’s okay. You’re gonna be okay.” he cooed, trying to calm you.

“Josh, I’m so sorry, I should’ve…I should’ve told you, but I,” you whined, tears rolling out of your eyes. He shook his head, rubbing your hair and kissing your forehead.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to explain anything, alright?”

“I didn’t know how.” you explained. He sighed and nodded in an understanding way. Soon after, two doctors came in with worried expressions. Expressions you were all too familiar with.

“Y/N,” one doctor started. She looked down momentarily, then spoke again. “when we removed a portion of your thyroid, we’d thought we’d caught it all, or at least most of it. I mean it was a miracle that your voice has survived the surgery, and the medications we put you on seemed to be working…” she explained to you. Her eyes were sad. You knew there was bad news to come. You just wanted to get it over with.

“But?” you asked. Her colleague stepped forward and removed his glasses after looking at your chart.

“But, the cancer has spread to your chest, lungs, and portions of your throat. Which is why you’ve been having difficulty breathing. This didn’t happen for the first time a few days ago, did it?” he pried. You shook your head and looked down at your hands. Joshua was staring out of the window, steady streams of tears flowing down his cheeks.

“The masses weren’t showing up. They didn’t seem to even be there…until…” the woman said again. Dr. Park was an excellent surgeon. She had been your doctor since you were diagnosed. As excellent as she was, she always had a difficult time delivering bad news.

“Until it was too late to save me?” you asked with a blank expression. Joshua broke down, his sobs were the only sound in the otherwise silent room. You didn’t have it in you to cry. You were the one that let it get this far. You could’ve told Joshua. You could’ve come back the moment you noticed things getting worse. You just wanted things to be normal. You wanted a happy, normal life with Joshua.

“Truthfully, Y/N, with the way things look…” the male doctor spoke up again, walking up to your bedside. “There isn’t much we could’ve done either way. We’ll come back and talk about treatment options, okay? We’ll give you two some time.”

“Thank you.” you said, voice cracking. Joshua looked at you for the first time since the doctors had been there. What were you supposed to say to him?

“I’m sorry I walked away from you.” he said, grabbing your hands again. You shook your head.

“This is not your fault.”

“I know. I know, but I…shouldn’t have left you either way.” he cried. Your heart hurt to see him like this. Crying, broken, all because of you.

“I’m sorry I didn’t let you know me like I should have.” you apologized, referring back to one of your first serious fights. Joshua shakes his head, smiling a broken smile, and kisses the back of your hand.

“Oh, I know you.” he said softly. “No matter how hard you fought to keep yourself locked away I always ended up right here, eventually, one way or another.” he whispered, tracing lines over your heart. You couldn’t hold back your tears. They spilled out uncontrollably, sob after sob leaving your throat, burning from the rawness.

“Shh, Y/N, it’s okay. Shh.” he cooed, trying to calm you down. It wasn’t helping so Joshua sang to you.

“You are my sunshine,” he started. Your breathing slowed.

“my only sunshine.” the familiar tune eased your heart.

“You make me happy,” he sang.

“when skies are gray.” you began to hum along with him, hoping to ease the burning in your chest.

“You’ll never know dear, how much I love you.” he sang softly. Your heart was at ease, but your body had plans of it’s own. You started to seize again, and not knowing what to do, Joshua tried to hold you tighter to steady your body.

“Please don’t take…my sun…shine away” he sang through his tears. Two nurses came rushing in as he finished the chorus. One of them pressed a button on the wall behind your bed and shouted “Code Blue!” as they began trying to resuscitate. All Joshua could hear was a continuous sound that pierced his heart. The nurses were trying to get him to leave the room, but his body felt stuck. As soon as he was out of the room, he watched from the window was the doctors and nurses tried to bring you back.

Life without Y/N. After Joshua met you in the library of your college campus, he never thought he’d have to think of what that’d be like. He thought he’d grow old with you after he’d gotten to know you. Things were perfect between you. Even when you fought. It’s like he couldn’t stand to be away from you, especially when you were angry. And, of course, you’d felt the same way about him. You were it, as was he. More then just some lucky one in a million, more than young love.

Joshua never prepared for this. He didn’t know how, he didn’t know he’d ever have to. It never crossed his mind until that day you collapsed, but even then he didn’t have time. It felt like everything around him was moving at warp speed, but his body was stuck in slow motion.

He believes in the afterlife. He believes, deep down, that you’re still with him, and that you always will be until he meets you again. But being sat at your grave, changing the flowers every so often, he finds himself cursing his God. Resenting Him for taking the one thing he was sure about. You didn’t deserve this life. You were kind. The type of person who always put themselves last. Joshua didn’t know how to understand why this happened. But truthfully, does anyone?

When the sky darkens and rain starts to fall, tears form in his eyes. His breathing becomes steady and he holds out one hand, looking up at the sky.

“Y/N.”

#seventeen fanfic #seventeen angst #seventeen fluff #seventeen fanfiction #seventeen #svt #svt fanfic #svt angst #svt fluff #seventeen joshua #seventeen jisoo #joshua hong #hong jisoo #kpop fanfic #kpop angst #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios

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