#anyway homeboy is def so tired of me

[hug-them-trees]

My ex and I are still very good friends but idk how he puts up with me like in the past week he has told me he’s met

- a girl that looks like me

- a girl with the same name as me (for the first time)

To which my response was (respectively)

- wouldn’t it be funny if you dated her

- ask her out

[pervertedreams]

gasp! even MORE farleigh hc’s bc now i’m having writers block and it’s easier to do lil short scenarios <3

asks are open and encouraged feedback is even more encouraging!!

general sexual themes. minors dni obviously

- close talker. close talker. CLOSE TALKER!!! no kinda of personal space really, constantly invading your personal bubble. this goes hand in hand with my crouching and bending over to look at you allegations. sour cigarette breath always flooding your nostrils, sometimes almost so close your noses clunk together. he wants to watch you slowly lean back as he stalks closer to you, wants to watch your eyes strain to look up and maintain eye contact with him. he’s grabbing your hands without warning, pinching your cheeks and sides, sometimes placing his large hands on your hips and swiveling you around for whatever dramatic statement he’s making. like i said fave grabbing and again just overall being very invasive when holding conversation. not that you’re necessarily complaining.

- loves being naked, likes to air himself out. i think he especially enjoys skinny dipping. i don’t have any proof to back this up, it’s comin from the heart. he loves being bare in the water, he’s nearly bare anyways. the only thing holding him back is a unnecessarily expensive pair of swim trunks. and when he takes them off he throws the soiled material at your feet, because he’s a smart ass. we know this !

- i do feel as though he is naturally very quick witted and snarky, but i also believe it’s a defense mechanism. i feel as though it doesn’t take much to soften him even though i believe he’s stubborn, i feel like he’s actually very emotional. but maybe he believes being overly emotional gets you nowhere.

- homeboy loves eating box !! LMAO but no i think he loves giving head, just enjoys getting on his knees and pleasuring somebody. loves that intoxicating musky scent of whoever he’s giving head too, loves having his curls gripped and being manhandled and pushed around. mainly sexually. and he’s looking up at you with swollen heavy lips and glossy brown eyes, eager to make you cum. sometimes that smug, asshole-ish energy is still heavily laced throughout whatever sex he’s having, esp if he’s feeling more dominant. same quick yet dry comments, “now cmon baby you can do better than that.”

- ass slapper IDC. playful or not if you walk by or if it’s in his face at any given moment, he’s taking his opportunity every. time. you’ve gotten tired of swatting him away, there’s usually no winning with farleigh. some things are just set in stone. when you get up, when you walk by, if you’re bent over, skirt on, jeans, underwear, it doesn’t matter. if it’s in his line of vision he’s going for it.

- he snores, not loud or annoying but not necessarily quietly. and he’s a stiff sleeper, however he fell asleep he’s waking up the exact same way. despite the scene with him and oliver i believe he’s a somewhat heavy sleeper. he’s not a dead body but he doesn’t sleep like a fairy either. and def jerks off to playgirl to fall asleep if he’s having a tough time.

- speaking of playgirl he strikes me as the type to have a lil magazine collection, porn and fashion specifically. and yes he has both playboy and playgirl, he’s doesn’t discriminate!

- usually forgets to wrap his hair up at night or just straight up wraps it wrong. but to be fair there’s no one their to teach him any better.

- love language is touch and gift giving idk. like he always has his hands on you one way or another, he’s like a magnet. ringed pinky resting on your outer thigh, subconscious hair stroking, arms always somehow draped around your shoulders, hands always resting on your lower hips. sometimes when you’re too far away when he’s talking he’ll pull you by your belt, face touching, hand holding. he just needs skin to skin, or he’ll decay

- his go to response is always a condescending hum, he hums a lot LOL. with like this smugness in his nod and tone.

- feet swinger

- it’s pierced and has a slight curve, and ALWAYS groomed :)

[swtki]

Literally just thoughts about spencer reid.

*warning: def some language and sexual themes, Sub! Spence x Dom! Reader (I did cut at the NSFW)

A/N: my brain go horny me write spencer thought :) also send me asks about spencer or just my opinion on sex lol.

you ask him a question and get an entire monologue in response.

def asked Rossi to help him with a dinner date because he wanted it to be romantic and special.

“Reid listen, you gotta get the good pasta or else everything else is just bland, no sponge to get the sauce, you know?” Spencer nods, “did you know that pasta actually dates back to-“

Even if you aren’t messy he’ll still re-organize everything you both own, you’ll walk in one day and he’ll be like “hi sweetie 😊😊 I colour coded our entire closet!”.

if you speak in internet slang like I do, eventually all your convos will be like “periodt!!!” back and forth, he will adapt to you.

play fighting that gets very out of hand

Y’all ever seen a child at the mall cling onto their parents leg? Yeah that child is Spencer, and you’re the parent.

One day you’re like “I’m gonna get a cat.” and he’s like “no theyre nasty” but you get one anyways and eventually he’s like in love with the cat 🥺.

——- NSFW 18+ FROM THIS POINT ON —-

Literally homeboy probably jizzes in his pants even after dating you for some time

probably refuses to eat certain meals (which you punish him for later because you’re sick and fucking tired of him)

Why can I see him sucking toes so sensually like I dont want this image but if y’all do, there ya go

def will cry after sex, for various reasons. No I will not elaborate you know what they are

he tries to dom one time and its licherally so embarassing for him xx get well soon

will ask to be spat on

he has a monkey brain hes like; boob E ?

y’all tried car sex once but he literally hit his head on the roof of the car and it killed the mood.

I can see him getting annoyed at you when you do certain things, like on the plane you’d shuffle cards for like 15 minutes straight and he’d be like “shut,,,,the fuck up,(Y/N).” But its fine bc you peg him later, hes moaning and you lean down to whisper; “shut the fuck up, Spencer.”.

[keisurin]

#first date

#ft; tendou, suna, matsukawa

#FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF, cursing, hq x gn!reader

#hcs of you and the haikyuu boys first date!!

#tendou: you both were best friends to begin with and you’re basically the same person so he probably plans some wild shit on your first date.

without paying, you both sneak into a cinema and watch like 4 other movies, how did you not get caught? no one knows.

you post a lot on your stories to which semi and reon are telling you “stop” or “do the right thing” just disciplining the two of you while ushijima replies with 🌝👍 honestly, why the fuc- anyways.

he like kisses you on the forehead etc etc he tries to take it slow cause it’s the first date but he does love holding your hand in public.

in the end of the day,☺️ i can imagine he fucking blows up fireworks at some abandoned land for your entertainment like he’s serenading you bye you you can’t change my mind. it adds on to the fun when your energy matches him. if people saw what you two were doing, they’d assume you’re cult leaders or performing a ritual anything satanic.

#suna: suna won’t go on a date with just anyone. he has to like them and feel like he wants to devote his life to them, yes? i’m joking but if he catches feelings for someone, he would def do anything for them and puts in as much effort as he can.

homeboy definitely has that cash, so fancy dinner at some expensive and boujee restaurant while the two of you are wearing like sweatpants and crummy t-shirt’s. yea idk but yk, yall would.

after that you get tired of the sophisticated shit and ditch it. you go back to his place and even if you’re a gamer or not, you play mario kart or smash all day while cuddling. maybe watch a movie and order takeout because he has an addiction to eating chicken wings at least 3 times a week. uh, yes. 

KYA omg but you meet his sister when you’re about to eat and she loves you, you love her. a rintarou slander, she tells you everything about him and basically saying “run away while you can but do come home here for me” yep yall are best friends. rintarou can’t get over how the two of you just clicked and he really loves it but on the outside he’s telling his sister to get out his room.

#matsukawa: god. he’s talking to makki the whole time and on a fucking walkie talkie ohmfg. and when he talks to him, he acts like he’s suddenly in a private room and you’re not there. right beside him. holding his hand.

like he goes “bro what do i say to them?” and makki says smt like “tell them ‘you have beautiful eyes’” to which he turns to you and says “i have beautiful eyes.” you and makki can’t tell if he’s being serious or not.  but yall are close so it doesn’t bother you. you actually really love it and you get a good laugh out of it and mattsun of course still has his 100% attention on you.

you go to an amusement park, he loves rollercoasters but despite the love for the thrill he can’t help but hold tightly onto the bar and going on them alot of times gets him sick.

unfortunately for the both of you, you ask “do you wanna hold my hand?” as a romantic gesture. in his head he’s saying aRe yoU sure about that but he also doesn’t want to sounds rude so he kindly obliges to it. 

rip to your hand, purple as a grape when you get off the ride and you have a loopy and sick mattsun beside you in the verge of throwing up. it’s even more fun when he’s all droopy so he leans onto you and there’s people telling you “wahh you’re such a cute couple!!” like yes thank you but he’s a heavy man, send help. HWHAHA jkjk you love him so much and will take care of him with your life. exaggerated but sure. you bring him to your place and you crash into bed. even tho he’s half asleep he gives you the best cuddles~

gen taglist; @tanakaslastbraincell @indecisivehusky @mint-mai @yafriendlyfangirl @blana @franko-pop

[bb-tings]

unspoken magic - drew starkey

magic - gabrielle aplin 

(10/10 reccomend ALL HER MUSIC)

so i found this song on spotify while i was looking for a song to write a cute fluffy drew fic to and it gave me such drew vibes bc homeboy doesn’t know how to use any form of social media lol...also the rant is literally me. like my thoughts and actions and beliefs. some of yall 13 year olds really don’t know the meaning of BOUNDARIES.

...anyways enjoy,

-BRI

if you want to join or get taken off the taglist just let me know in my messages or in the comments 😊

taglist: @ampanonyg @ims0golden @jjsmentalpolaroids @stargazingstarkey @letsgofullkook @jjmbanks @maybanksbaby @1-800-jjslut  @simpforstarkey @jellyfishbeansontoast

Remember when we snuck out of your birthday, didn't even say goodbye, 'Cause even there in a room full of faces, all I saw was you and I

     Everyone was having a blast dancing around, drinking, laughing. It was Drew’s birthday after all. The cast had decided to rent out a club and invite family and friends, including everyone who worked on set, the workers have become more like family than colleagues. There was so much chaos going on and while Y/n was so proud of the cast and herself for pulling the event off for her boyfriend, she couldn’t help but feel a little antisocial. She was a social butterfly, but everyone knew that after days of being the life of the party and extroverted, she needed time alone and started to shut down, wanting to be alone. Y/n was so excited for the party but when it came time for her to get dressed up and drunk with her friends, she found herself sitting alone on a couch booth while sipping wine, not really seeing the fun in getting wasted and stupid drunk. 

     Y/n watched as Drew and Rudy drunkenly danced back to back, screaming out the words to OMG by Usher, she laughed as he made eye contact with the young girl and pointed to her, wiggling his finger for her to join him. She held her glass up and tried giving him a believable smile, but the older boy knew better, so he made his way over to her.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Drew slid his way next to his girlfriend and used the towel on the table to wipe the sweat off of his face. “Did somebody upset you?”

“Nothing bubba, I’m fine.”

      Y/n looked up from her short-lived attempt at avoiding Drew’s eyes to him already looking at her. She watched as his hand moved toward her hair as he pushed a fallen piece behind her ear. He looked around her face and finally met her eyes, not believing her. “I’m fine, Drew. I promise.”

     Drew sat back away from her as he let out a loud sigh. “Why do you do that? Why do you lie to my face and tell me that you’re ok like I’m going to buy it? Why can’t you just tell me the truth?”

     “Drew, I really don’t wanna do this right now,” the young girl pleaded. “It’s your birthday, can’t we just have a good time and not worry about me right now?” To that Drew looked at his other half like she had grown another half. 

     “Ok, first of all, this,” He moved his finger quickly in the small space between them. “This Is not a fight. This is me being upset because my girlfriend won’t let me worry about her. I guess she doesn’t know how relationships work.” Drew teased the girl with a small smile on his face. “And second, we both know that I can’t have a good time if you’re sitting over here all sad and mopey.”

It's all the words you never say, the way I catch you watchin' me, I know that you love me, i know you can feel the magic, we don't need to talk about

     After a little back and forth, the young boy had finally gotten the girl to spill the truth about needing some alone time and was now trying to sneak them out of his own birthday party. As the pair rode home, Y/n couldn’t help but look at Drew as he stared ahead. She watched as his changing blue eyes flickered between the path in front of him and the many cars behind him, also driving in the early hours of the morning. 

     Though there were many signs, lights, and flashes that caught her mind’s attention, basically begging her eyes to look, she couldn’t help but only see Drew. This was her favorite kind of Drew. When he is totally unbothered. He was doing something so simple, something that he had been doing since he turned 15, now 27 it only seems right that he should be used to it. However, Y/n couldn’t help to notice how he put all his effort into it, eyes never once leaving the road, she liked to believe that it was his way of self consciously protecting her. And even though she thought she was going unnoticed, the young girl wasn’t the only one admiring from not so far. Drew was watching her too but through his peripheral. He loved that she was enchanted by everything he did. He liked knowing that he wasn’t the only one completely and hopelessly in love. 

No, we don't feel the need for colorful displays, 'cause it's not the kind of game we play, and why should we show the world how we feel, when it's not about them anyway

     Everyone was over at Madelyn’s apartment chilling and hanging out with one another. The blonde was stationed on the floor in between the couch and the coffee table, with a live Instagram leaning on a few books. Y/n was sitting directly behind the girl, turned to the side with her legs pulled up to her chest. She had let Maddie use her phone, the 22-year-old being too lazy to walk to her room and get hers, so now she was just watching as Madelyn socialized with the fans. 

“Ow, shit.” 

     Y/n turned her head to see Drew sitting on the edge of the couch next to her holding his foot with a worried stare. The younger girl let out a small snort. “Did you hit your toe bub?” 

     Drew let out a whiny noise and Maddie proceeded to also let out a laugh, then reusing one of her famous lines, “Never heard anyone whine like that before.” Y/n gently pushed the girl’s shoulder, teasingly telling her to leave the big baby alone. She then returned her vision to the raging comment section. Her once big smile quickly fading to a frown.

I think its a PR stunt bc they don’t even act like a couple

Drew deserves someone who actually loves him...LIKE ME!

gUys she called him bUb! THATS SO CUTE (emoji)

Nah thats def apr stunt, more obvious than shawn and camila

I don’t eleven think i’ve seen them hold hands

     Madelyn and Y/n simultaneously rolled their eyes, the blonde looking up at her best friend gave her a look that spoke “you gonna tell em or me.”

     Y/n slid down from the couch and joined her friend on the floor, getting right in front of the camera. She looked up at her loving boyfriend who was on his phone also looking at the comments on the live. He glanced down towards Y/n and gave her a small smile, telling her to go for it. It wasn’t the first time they had seen comments like this and he knew it wouldn’t be the last but he also knew that she had been dying to rant about it. 

     “Alright, I’m gonna go ahead and say this one thing, and then I’m probably going to take some time off this app.” The young actress slowly took a deep breath and then began her rant. “ Alright, first of all, my relationship with ANYONE, is between me and that person. Just because I have friends, boyfriends or family, does not mean that I have to post them on this account. I understand that it’s hard to believe that 2 people can be happy and healthy unless they showcase it to the rest of the world, but it is in fact very possible. So for everyone who is questioning, my relationship,” the girl then grabbed Drew’s hand, pulling him down to her side of the couch until he was laying on his side behind her head. “This is Drew. My boyfriend. It’s not a publicity stunt, it’s not to get the show more popular, it’s real. Outer Banks is already the number one show on Netflix, so I don’t really think there would be a point to put 2 people in a fake relationship. And another thing, I don’t even have a fucking publicist, so I don’t really know where that came from.” 

     The young girl turned her head to meet Drew’s blue eyes, he looked at her with such satisfaction and amazement. He was proud of his younger girlfriend. For years Drew thought that he would never find someone who was anti-social media like him. He thought that he was just going to have to bare his relationships getting exploited all over the world. Drew was happy that he never had to worry about that with Y/n. 

     “I completely understand why it’s confusing and how you can question our relationship. But that doesn’t mean you can drag our relationship, and me particularly, down. You have no right to say the things you do about me, just because you think that the small, tiny, look into our lives means that I don’t love and care about Drew. Like, no offense, but that’s fucking insane. I’m tired of getting private messages about my weight, my clothes, my hair, my AGE. Don’t even get me started on the age difference. Half of the fan accounts on this app are run by 13-year-olds saying very inappropriate things about a 27-year-old grown-ass man. Like yall understand that’s illegal right. Like, get it through your head that those are fantasies and no matter HOW MANY TIMES you drag ME down, they will NEVER come true. My age isn’t anyone’s business, I’m over 18 so get over it.” Y/n then let out a loud sigh. “I need a damn drink.” 

     To this Drew laughed and kissed her on the cheek, while the other cast members started to whoop and holler while applauding the young girl’s words. They too were proud other, they knew of the struggles that she went through and they knew that most of the time she kept those feelings balled up. Madelyn then grabbed the phone and said her goodbyes to the live, then ending it. 

     The blonde then wrapped her arms around her best friend. “I’m so proud of you, babe. That was so badass.”  Madison saw the interaction from across the room and ran over to join them, adding herself to the hug. 

     “It was great, sissy. You really told them who’s boss.” That last comment made Y/n laugh out loud. She was so happy to have a supporting friend and cast group that made her feel loved. She couldn’t have asked for better friends. 

     “It was pretty hot too,” Drew smirked and pulled the young girl away from the group hug and grabbed her face, and gave her a long passionate kiss, something he rarely did in front of others. “I’m proud of you bubba.”

She couldn’t have asked for better friends. 

Or a better boyfriend. 

Don't need to see it to believe it, no need to wake me up, 'cause I'm not dreamin'

     The couple was laying in their bed just enjoying each other’s presence. Limbs all spread around but managing to stay intertwined. Sunlight was seeping into the white-painted room, brightening everything up, including the pair’s mood. Drew was leaning against the headboard very lazily, running his hands through Y/n’s hair,  who was sitting in his lap, thighs down beside his knees, with her head on his chest. Drew had woken up early and tried to get the younger girl out of bed, but she refused to do so. So he decided that he would just deal with it and let her drift back off to sleep, but with a twist.

     It humored the young actor that people thought they weren’t a cuddly and touchy couple. They were absolutely a touchy couple, they just didn’t enjoy being touchy in front of others, some people not being into that and they didn’t want to make anyone feel awkward. It was more a Drew thing. He was the one who suggested they not have a lot of PDA, and while Y/n was all for PDA, she would do anything for Drew to make him happy. At the beginning of their relationship, Y/n was insecure about Drew’s real feelings because he didn’t show much love through touch, but she eventually mentioned it to him. Ever since then he always made it a point to show more affection the second they were alone. Hints their situation now. 

     Drew watched as Y/n started to stir in her sleep. She started to whine and Drew felt her chest start to move a little faster. She was having another nightmare. 

     “Shhh, shhh. You’re ok, it’s ok,” the young man started to rub her back and hold her a little tighter. He wanted the nightmare to stop but he didn’t want to ruin her sleep. “It’s just a dream. You’re ok, bubba.” Drew closed his eyes and gave a small smile when he felt her calm down, turn her head the other direction and hold onto him a little tighter. Despite what the young girl believed, Drew loved the affection that she gave him. Being the oldest of 3 kids, the boy felt like he had to grow up fast and while he knew his parents loved them all equally, he got less of the affection. He had to grow up and become a little man, help his mom prepare dinner, he and logan had to help take care of Brooke and Mackayla. He just thought that he wasn’t a fan to touch, but when it came to Y/n’s touch he couldn’t get enough of it.  

     Drew closed his eyes and relaxed his body, trying to drift off to sleep himself.  He knew he wasn’t dreaming yet, but he never wanted to leave this dream state with her. Getting to love someone like her, was something Drew never even dreamed of but now he was thankful for that. Because no dream could have lived up to the life that he gets to live with the girl that he loves.

[rynhaswritersblock]

tiktok famous (hc) - part four | p.p.

summary: episode four of tiktoks with y/n and peter ayooooo

warnings: cussing. what's new LOL

+ + +

- BACK AGAIN

- these are the imagines that i can pretty much just pump out because the plot line is like already layed out for me

- in conclusion i like writing these lol

- okay SO

THESE ARE ALL THE PEOPLE WHO GAVE IDEAS::: spideybparker starbabez mrose12623 elliedevotee lilcassipuff buckybigbutt

THANK U! <3

^^ if you've changed your username i'm so sorry whenever i get requests i write down the username and it's lowkey difficult to track who is who and if they've changed it ahhhhh

- aight

- lets get into it

- yuhhhhhh get into itttttttttt

- i'm gonna be saying yuh get into it so much in this imagine i apologize in advance

- like it's kinda bad

- oops

- so y'all know those audios that are like the fake calls

- it's like that man's voice he's like "hey whassup shorty your man around?"

- THAT ONE

- so naturally

- y'all know where this is going

- you and pete are just chilling (this is how all of them start. i feel like a broken record. help)

- you're like FUCK IT LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS

- you start recording

hey whassup shorty

- peter goes into FIGHT OR FLIGHT MODE

- he's just playing video games (fortnite aye) but the  S E C O N D  HE HEARS THAT RANDOM MAN'S VOICE

- fuckin RIPS OFF THE HEADSET

- EYEBROWS FURROWED AS HE LOOKS AT YOU HE'S LIKE

- huh wHAT NOW

- ????!!!!!!!!!!

- you fail at keeping a straight face cause the fucking AUDIO

your man around?

- a wheeze FLIES out of you mouth as peter SHOOTS UP FROM HIS CHAIR

- big "FUCK NO!" energy

- mans practically jumps on top of you

- he's like angry and confused at first but then he sees how hard you're laughing and just gets even more confused

"what was that?"

- his voice is all high cause it does that in tense situations

- puppy face is loud n clear!

- babey

- meanwhile you can't catch your breath for SHIT

- so you show him the video as you continue to literally die

- as soon as he realizes he just melts

- he's like laying on top of you and buries his face in the crook of your neck before bursting out into laughter and holding you tighter

"you can't do that!"

- god me thinking about that happening irl is giving me BUTTERFLIES

- sexc

- okay this one is another fake phone call

- just gonna jump into it it's pretty much the same situation

- in this one you two are over 18 btw

- for ~legal reasons~

- the audio starts playing with the ringtone and peter just glances over

- he's too busy watching b99

- naturally

hey this is dr. alvarez! we received your pregnancy test results

- WHAT

- peter has never jumped so hard in his LIFE

- tv is PAUSED even captain holt has the shocked expression (who am i kidding it's holt his facial expression is as dead as a brick)

- 🅱eter literally yells

"WHAT"

- audio keeps going

is there a time next week you could come in and talk?

"y/n what"

- he runs over to you and you bust out laughing as he looks at your phone and realizes it's a tiktok

- an annoyed smile pulls at his lips and he groans and wraps his arms around you

"you had me there for a second"

- let's just say peter parker had family on his mind a LOT more since then

- wink wink

- k SO

- queso

- haha

- anyways

- y'all know that one sound

pussy so good i could save that shit for later

- welcome to straight tiktok!

- so y'all just chillin on his bed as best friends do

- on ur phones and shit

- and peter parker is a basic bitch so he has the led lights

- which i want SO BAD btw ugh my room would be such a vibe

- update i'm editing this and i just ordered some ayooooo

- anyways they're currently blue so like

- innocent

- chill

- but THEN

- the audio starts playing from peter's phone

pussy so good-

- you gAsp as the lights turn red

- ur like

- holy shit i didn't know parker could do that

- next thing you know peter's hand is on your chin/jaw (just about ur neck OOPS)

- his mouth is practically ON your ear

- you see him holding his arm out in front of you recording and you can't help but laugh

- but DAMN

his jawline is out and everything and he's fucking SMIRKINGGGG as he whispers the lyrics into your ear

- BUTTAFLIESSSSSSSSSSSSS

- big mattia vibes (btw that man is NOT attractive i'm sorry)

- moving on

- i know i've written one of the ones where you kiss your best friend

- but time to turn the tables

- oh how the turn tables

- time for y/n to be a bad bitch cause WE MAKING THE FIRST MOVE!!

- hell yea!

- so it's late right

- like late late

- at least midnight (sleep schedule is MESSED from quarantine though so honestly late rn is like 2 or 3 in the morning yikes)

- and ur hella bored

- on tiktok

- the fuck else do you expect?

- and you start doing the thing where you start thinking about getting up and doing something and you think about it so much that you physically can NOT sit there any longer and must Move or Die

- i KNOW i am not the only one

- so that happens

- and you're like FUCK IT

- so you walk out of your room and into peter's next door

- oh to live at avengers headquarters and live next to peter parker

- you just fucking stroll in

- peter's fat ass just goes "hey thanks for knocking"

- meanwhile you can't even stand to look at him because you're afraid that if you do all of your confidence will VANISH

- so you set up the camera and start recording

- at this point peter's sitting up and just watching you cause he's so confused

- and

- (HERE WE GO)

- it takes everything in you not to RUN OUT

- but you walk over to him

- wrap a hand around his neck

- tilt your head and lean down

- when peter realizes what's going on he's like OH MY GOD

- fight or flight response HITS except its JUST FLIGHT

- HIS BODY CHOSE FLIGHT

- he fucking REELS back

- can't even process that his best friend and crush since EVER just tried to kiss him

- sdfjksdkfjsdfg

- DKJFNHSKDFNSLA

- you're like fuck! so you turn to start  r u n n i n g   a w a y

- but then his hands wrap around your waist

- you FLY backwards and laugh as the two of you flop into the bed

- and he kisses you

- mwah ha ha haaaaaa

- don't ask why the evil laugh just accept it

- i am tired yes it is only 8:43pm i am still tired

- NEXTTTTTTT

- so y'all know those povs where it's like you find out your soulmate's first words on your bday

- well

- ha

- you and peter are bored because ~ q u a r a n t i n e ~

- chilling at headquarters

- bored in da house and i'm in da house bored

- and peter's like "imma make a pov!"

- okay!

- so i'm just gonna lay it out for you HERE WE GO

- he has the generic countdown thing (text boxes saying 3...2..1! you know the deal) and then he looks at his wrist and it says "hey spider-boy!" and he gets so flustered - next clip it's him running into "you" (obviously you're not actually in it but he does the text box thingy) - you're asking about what it says and try to get a peek but he pulls away - next clip it's right before your bday - and then you find out your quote and it says "it's spider-MAN! cause i'm a man!" - and peter is just looking anxiously/happily at the camera

- PERIOD

- i hope that was a good visual idk i tried

- and uhhhh yeah that one stays in the drafts bc he doesn't wanna expose himself

- moving right along by the way it's raining rn and i'm listening to my kind of woman by mac demarco and UGH this song makes me so...... jkdfhsdk

- OKAY THIS IS ANOTHER STRAIGHT TIKTOK ONE

- but it's cute so

- fuck it

- y'all know it

i wanna put you in seven positions for seventy minutes babe

- mischievous as ✨hell✨

- oh my god i got another idea okay i'm writing that after this one

- anyways!

- you and peter are chilling

- note: i yell at myself every time i write that because the AMOUNT OF THESE THAT START THIS WAY GOD

- he's watching netflix or something idk

- fyi outer banks is overrated sorry not sorry

- yell at me if u want but

- it's riverdale for vsco girls

- you set up the camera and start recording

- audio starts playing and you climb into his lap and he's like WOAH

- you like put your hands on his cheeks/jaws lol and you start mouthing the lyrics

- but the THING IS (pt 1)

- homeboy catches on pretty quick

- and

- fuck

- he starts MOUTHING THE LYRICS BACK

- you deadass have to take a second and reel back to catch your breathe

- but the THING IS (pt 2)

- HE'S GOTTEN ALL INTO IT

- SO HE PULLS YOU BACK IN

- UR FUCKIN FOREHEADS ARE TOUCHING AND YOU BOTH JUST START REALLY AGGRESSIVELY MOUTHING THE LYRICS

- kinda hot doe

- something for u to think about at night

:)

- hey bitch this is a reminder to write about the fairy comments

- thanks past me

- SO

- hmm lemme think

- okay

- so

- okay yes

- so peter-man posts a tiktok of him doing flips n stuff

- like very generic white boy look at me doing things

- and it's very impressive

- but

- you decide to just GO AT IT IN THE COMMENTS

- LIKE TOTALLY ANNIHILATE HIM

- i'm just gonna write some examples

- fuck me for writing this on a computer finding all these emojis on here is very difficult

- oh well

- here we go:

- oh my god a squirrel just climbed up the tree in my front yard and it caught me so off guard my heart skipped a beat

- wait okay irrelevant

- for real this time here we go:

you ate that 💕🧚‍♀️⚡🌟next time make it me instead 💖🧚‍♀️✨ omg peter you came on my fyp 🧚‍♀️💖✨but make it on me next 🧚‍♀️💕✨🦋 a necklace 💕✨🧚‍♀️⚡but make it your hands ✨💖🦋😌

- and so on

- lets just say when peter saw those

- his face got SO RED

- TOOK HIM AT LEAST TEN MINUTES TO COMPOSE HIMSELF

- AND THEN HE RAN INTO YOUR ROOM

"y/n what is this"

"uh fairy comments"

"but they're so-"

- you just stare at him and like

- shrug

- but knowingly

- HAHA OKAY NEXT ONE

- okay i took a break to go sit in the rain and eat hawaiian rolls 10/10 experience def go do that next time it rains

- i think i wrote one like this but with the supalonely dance

- so this time

- we doing the savage dance

- first of all that song is a BANGER

- second, the dance is SO FUN

- so it's the same thing as last time

- you set up the camera but have it face peter instead of u sneaky sneaky

- and then u start doing the dance of course

- and obv peter is like yuhhhhhhhhh get into itttttttttt

- clapping along and smiling and whooping

- supportive bby

- but THEN

- YOU THROW IT BACK

- HOMEBOY DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT COMING

- HALF OF HIM IS LIKE OH FUCK I SHOULD'VE STOPPED HER

- OTHER HALF IS SAYING holy shit !

- once you finish you look at peter and he's just like 👁👄👁

- lol

- anyways

- you watch that video MULTIPLE TIMES afterwards

- okay in this one you and pete are 18+ because

- we like being legal 😌✋

- but it's one of those where you walk out in front of your boyfriend naked

- so peter just got home from patrol and climbs in through the window of y'alls shared apartment

- oh to live in an nyc apartment with peter parker UGH

"y/n? i'm home babe"

- the camera is shaking because you're laughing so hard and kinda nervy

- but you walk out of y'alls room and peter just turns to you

- nearly drops his fucking mask

- he's shocked for a second before he gets such a big smile on his face and throws you over his shoulder

- hehe

- okay last one i love this one sm this tiktok came up on my fyp and i immediately though THIS IS Y/N AND PETER

here it be::

https://www.tiktok.com/@wizqueifa_/video/6826567570116611333

god i hope that works and y'all can watch it lmk if u can't like if the link doesn't work or anything

- okay basically it's that tiktok but u and peter

- like that video EXACTLY everything about it is perfect

- that's it lol

- and i recommend watching her other tiktoks with her boyfriend bc their relationship is adorable and it's totally y/n and peter

- okay i think (hope to god) i've written all the ones that y'all requested

- i think i might only do just one more part of these???? idk i feel like if i just keep going on with them (cause obv trends keep coming) half this book would just be the tiktoks lol

- ANYWAYS

- peace out homies i love each and every one of you

- be kind to urself and try to be productive

- i'm gonna go try and write some more so

- yes

- MWAH <3

+ + +

hi i hope you guys are doing well

ily

[nofeelingsandallthefeelings]

nyc love me

n i love her

but i have been doing the most these past 5 days. I went to sleep and woke up salty af bc of the guy last night, which is ridiculous. I am still figuring out through the feelings, i think maybe bc im on my period i am in a mood and also bc he was 25 lol and so yeah.. but mostly bc i didnt stop it not that we did anything but I went over his house and it wasnt that fun, it was whatever he was definitely a damn fuck boy meme or a poor boy whatever. I forgive myself though because the game with boys my age is completely different, or maybe I am just tired and actually an introvert lol It wont work anyways he’s 6′6 so yeah. The story is great tho and I think there may have been a lottle potential but he is 3 young for me and is only 4 years older, I feel so weird saying that. It def has e in my feelings. he’s keke, I met him at the peach stand. 

I am on the STRUGGLE bus this morning and am making myself go to soul cycle to get it together bc I know I will feel better mentally and physically once I am done with a workout. It is so annoying bc I am really in a mood this morning like this airbnb is hot as fuck and dirty so I havent been wanting to stay here nd already filed a complaint, ..im gonna list all the negative things rn then list the upsides/opportunities .. so the complaint and dirty airbnb, the 2 hours of sleep, my pussy  hurts and im on my period with no tampons or pads, smh, I am mad about the guy last night, really its this airbnb n last night. 

upsides: -im gonna get a refund bc fuck that, fuck this dirty place 

-I get to go to portland today and hang out with elle!!!

-I saw carrie last night and it was really fun, shes amazign

-I learned alot from the convo w her

-I am about to go to soul cycle and get my sweat on

-I get to go see all my girls at lfb media 

-Ben was shockingly sweeet and texted me back w quickness 10/10 

-I am gonna go shopping today! queeeeen

-Everyones complimenting me on how thin I am and I am loving it

-Big win, I only spent like a lil money here,surprisingly honestly 10/10, I was spoiled all day yesterday like sis, I woke up I bought a coffee and then I jogged then I got ready and went to richards office walked around he bought me a lil meal and then I went to drinks w homeboy then I went to dumbo house n carrie got me gooooood sis, like ultimate papi 10/10 perf experience honestly. then went back out to drinks w homeboy, honestly tho he’s from somewhere not poor but not high class that care about nature..ugh a true weakness smh. I need me a papi, like the russian guy is perfect honestly he could be my papi tbh i am gonna manifest that shit, have him take me everywhere. 

Anyways I been thinking about attention doesnt mean successs idea bc i feel like i got carried away w this week, 

i did the damn most and was lost in the sauce. the mans sauce and just did the most like too much energy spent on it.

anwyas aug7,2018 love myself about to go treat myself to all the zingsssss starting w soulcycle.

-

[mixeddoctor]

Sleepless

So as I celebrate my small victory of having no dreams last night, I can’t help but realize that it’s Thursday and I got that text Sat which means I haven’t slept well since then. Like it’s not just the amount of sleep but the quality too. And every day since then has been me thinking about decisions and where to go from here. And having anxiety about the time clock that is obviously counting down until the conference. And wondering about his state of mind or what he has tried to convince himself has happened.

I gave the administrator for the conference a heads up on the situation because if I disappear at the conf of my own volition bc I saw him or God forbid if I disappear not of my own volition, at least there’s someone with some authority who knows. I didn’t want him to know originally tbh. Idk if there’s something about another man knowing that you were and to some extent still are vulnerable or if it was specifically certain men who you know hold you to a certain esteem ya know. Wondering if this fact will change the way they see you. I was glad I wasn’t there in person because pity eyes can sometimes be worse than most verbal responses.

Tuesday my anxiety was just ridiculous after that conversation and I did laundry and packed for the conference and the weekend- yes I packed 2 weeks in advance because focusing on anything except the fear I had of going to bed was worth it.

Wednesday we had grandrounds which was on physician wellness and depression which was hard to listen to. Because I know I’m depressed and anxious but it’s not for the typical reasons that they would think and yes all the issues they brought up contribute to my circumstance but it’s not the same and it was not a safe place for me to share or anything. I really had a hard time not crying at certain points. I also found out a friend I kinda grew up with had been in a very serious domestic violence situation and gotten out recently. I don’t think most people knew and I allowed her to vent. It def took up more time than I had but as a woman whose been abused, whose mother’s been abused, whose stepmother’s been abused, whose aunt has been abused... I felt like I needed to listen for her. It was terrible. He was abusive and got her pregnant and now she has his baby and some serious emotional scars. She said he choked her, blew up the motor to her car... it was very volatile. And when she talked about getting pregnant it killed me. She said she didn’t exactly wanna have a kid but he said he was gunna get her pregnant. And it just reminded me of when during a conversation, homeboy told me that he wanted to get me pregnant... that he had never had such a strong feeling to want to procreate with someone and that there were times when He had to really push himself to not finish inside me and considering that even drunk, in between unconsciousness and in the middle of him on top of me, that I was the one who said go get a condom, and after the first condom, he did not get another, but continued to have sex with me... I could have been her. Stuck with my abuser’s child. And yet that child still being my child. And having mixed feelings and having to put my life on hold because of his selfishness. It made me so sad. Both her life and my life have been derailed from where we were headed when we were younger.

Today is Thursday and tomorrow’s the exam and I haven’t done this week’s lectures and normally if I had the day to myself this wouldn’t be as big of a problem but I don’t have the day. I have to go to class all day today. So I have even less time to study. Granted I’ve gotten a Second pass through most of the 3rd week material but this week’s material is pharm heavy. Like super pharm heavy. And on top of that, I realize despite my one night of 4 hours of restful sleep, I’m still grossly sleep deprived which affects my retention of new info anyway. I’m just really worried. This week has been heavy for me and I just don’t know if I have the energy or strength to push through. I think the worst part is if I’m honest, my ability to concentrate and focus was already decreased- I can’t hold my attention for an extended period of time like before and that’s without being sleep deprived which again just all adds to my worry about this exam. I keep telling myself I only need a 62 to pass but idk if I could pull that off right now.

I know my circumstance is special and if I wanted to ask for an extension on this exam given the reason why I’m behind and so grossly sleep deprived, I could get it. But I really would like to enjoy a weekend with my friends and not have to worry about school.. and if I’m honest, I’ve gotten this far with only asking for a day’s extension on the first exam after I stopped denying it all. And I’ve been doing better than my normal and there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to give up that power either. I want to be able to say that I pulled through despite what he did and what he continued to do. Does that make me prideful? Or does that make me dumb for not asking for what I actually need?

Right now I’m not tired but I know I’m going to want to crash at the end of the day and I won’t be able to. I don’t know what to do.

I just realized I’m so sleep deprived this post isn’t even organized well. Smh.