#anyway i haven't cried about it yet but i am Going To. I Can Feel It

[ilikeyoshi]

i think. i think my new medication is improving my fatigue, like. dramatically. that's not even what it was prescribed for, it was prescribed so my heart or brain doesn't explode (medically correct terminology obv obv) but now that i'm thinking about it i've felt WAY better energy-wise for. several weeks. i started it a month ago. and like. i mean. it's RELATED to heart health, so??? of course a heart issue could cause fatigue??? i'm still kinda emotionally processing that this might not just be A Few Good Weeks and i might actually have solved a significant amount of my fatigue by pure accident.

[james-is-here]

𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘺𝘦𝘭𝘭...

Waah!: The boys reaction to realizing they yelled at you when you have past trauma with yelling.

Ya-hoo!: Mn in this had a "Military" childhood, Dad treated him like a soldier and was always yelling at him whether it be commands or verbal abuse.

Yay!: Is it obvious what I'm using to label the start of my fics? lol. Anyway, Waah! is the summary. Ya-hoo! is a brief explanation or backstory, and Yay! is authors note. I need a fourth character noise for Warnings...Oh yeah! will by warnings. (Also, if you haven't got it yet, Waluigi, Mario, Peach, Luigi)

Oh Yeah!: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Trauma Triggers, The boys are unintentional dicks, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, mentions of Blood, British Cigarette slur in Changbin's,

𝓑𝓪𝓷𝓰 𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓷 (598 Words)

The door of your apartment slammed shut, making you jump. He knows to not slam doors but you put aside your slight annoyance for him forgetting when you hear him muttering. You shuffle out of your room and head to the living room where you can hear the mutters more clearly. Something about a missing track and being behind a day since they had to re-record some lines.

"Hey, Channie..." You said softly as you gently crossed your arms. You may be a strong tall boy (tm) now but Chan was starting to scare you a bit. "I-I got us food...Wasn't sure what your wanted but I got your fav-" "Mn, Just shut the fuck up!" He yelled, turning towards you. "I saw the damn food but if you payed attention to your damn phone, you would've known that I ate with the boys." "Ch-Chan...Stop. Now." Your voice wavered as your eyes began to water. "Who are you to tell me to stop?!"

The phrase made you flinch, the flash of your father about to hit you after you told him to stop yelling at your siblings made you stumble back into the wall, bumping into the side table, knocking over a vase that shatters as you slid down the wall, your hands coming up to cover your head as you beg your father to not hurt you.

The moment "Appa, No, please!" left your mouth, Chan's anger and stress from the day immediately went out the window when he realized what just happened. "Shit, Shit, Mn, I'm sorry." He swore he'd never raise his voice and seeing you like this, curled against the wall shaking, crushed his heart. "Mn, hey, jagi, can you hear me?" A sob is all he gets in reply and he sighs as tears build up in his eyes. His eyes catch the glass around your leg and he notices that you landed on some of the pieces, a few small blood patches on your sweats. He knows he needs to be gentle but he can't let them get worse as he kneels in front of you to try and move you off and away from the glass. You fight against him, your hands trying to help you crawl away but your right ends up in the glass and you cry in pain this time. "Ah, shit." Your eyes snap open to first see your hand, then the glass around you. "I-I'm sorry, I-I'll clean this up." You go to stand but Chan stops you. "No, No, N/n, let's patch you up first." "B-But I-I have to clean with the wounds...t-to be tougher." "Mn, babe, look at me." You do so slowly and finally meet his teary gaze. "Ch-Channie..." A new set of tears fall and Chan scoops you up the best he can to get you away from the mess.

"I'm so sorry, N/n. I didn't mean to yell at you, I know better, I shouldn't have taken my stress of the day out on you, I am unbelievably sorry." His hug was tight as he cried into your shoulder. "I promise I won't do that again, I promise to be more aware of how I'm feeling. I'll make it up to you, I'm sorry." You shake in his hold but slowly you melt into him, his faint cologne and tight grip calming you down as you wrap your arms around him as well. Although your leg and palm stung, you were grounded enough to know that both of you were comforting one another in that moment.

𝓛𝓮𝓮 𝓚𝓷𝓸𝔀 (950 Words)

Minho asked you a few days ago if you could meet him at his place so the two of you could finally spend time together after what felt like an eternity since the last time you saw each other.

You arrived a few minutes before him and hastily set out the food you brought, homemade from your sibling you visited a day prior. His cats surrounded you, watching you curiously as you get the food out. When you were done, you smiled at the cats before making your way into the living room and sat on the floor, Soonie crawled into your lap as Dori sat in front of you and Doongi was happily purring next to Dori as you pat his head and scratch his chin. Pausing your pets on the cat in your lap, you pull your phone out of your pocket to see if there's any updates from Minho. Five minutes ago is a message saying he's almost there and Fifteen minutes ago is a message asking if you could feed the babies for him. You're quick to remove Soonie from your lap and stand up, gathering their dishes and food when the door opens but you jump when it slams shut.

"Mn?" His tone was firm and you felt a little scared but kept in mind that he just came from either the studio or the dorms, he must've not had a good day. "In here!" You call out. "I brought my siblings home made Kimbap and Pajeon for dinner. I also picked up-" "Where's their food?" "O-Oh, it's right here." You smile gently when he reaches your line of sight. "I'm just filling Dori's-" "I sent that twenty minutes ago." "I-I know, and I have the bowls right here, just give me-" "Why didn't you do it when I texted you?" "M-Min, it's not a big deal. Look, I have their bowls." "Not a big deal? You're starving them." "Oh come on, Minnie, you're being overdramatic."

You kneel down and set the bowls near the cats before standing up and turning towards your boyfriend. "See? Now they're fed." You sassed, going to walk past him to go to your food when he blocked your path. "Minho, what is wrong with you?" You snapped. He suddenly grabbed your wrists and you whimpered at the tightness. The backbone you gained over time from your childhood was suddenly out the window as fear crept up your spine. "O-Ow, Min, you're hurting me." "I don't care. I asked you to do one simple task and you blew it off."

Tears gathered in your eyes as your thrown back to the one night you didn't do the dishes, too busy trying to finish an important, grade-on-the-line school project, and your dad came home to see the half filled sink. He had grabbed you, dragging you into the kitchen. You complained that he was hurting you and that phrase was uttered before he threw you in front of the sink, you had a bruise on your side for a week.

The tears finally fell as you squeezed your eyes shut. "M-Minho, please stop, I'm sorry I didn't feed them earlier." "Why are you crying? There's no need to be crying, you don't have a reason to cry." He shoved you backwards and you stumble into Soonie's food bowl, spilling his food as he jumps away as another memory flashes, your father said the same thing when you cried after seeing him shove your mother to the ground. You whimper quietly, stuttering as you shrink in on yourself. "I'm sorry, Appa, I'll do better, I'm sorry." Your eyes open to see the food at your feet and you silently kneel down onto both of your knees to clean your mess.

Minho was frozen, mulling over his thoughts before he sighs. He realized what happened, the night prior he slept at the dorms and was so happy he'll get to see you the next day but he had woken up with a nasty headache, fighting through the slight throb in his temples at practice and at the studio. This was his fault, twenty minutes really wasn't a big deal to get mad over but he was tired, annoyed, and in pain, he just wanted you and his babies and when he saw them without food, he just broke. He sighs as he gets on the floor with you, picking up the food with you. When all of it was back in the bowl, you suddenly picked it up and hastily walked back to the kitchen.

Minho's eyes followed you, watching you dump the bowl before pouring new food back into it. "Mn-ie..." He stood when you came back in. A gentle hand on your bicep, he takes the bowl, setting it down for the mewling cat at his feet before placing his other hand on your other arm to turn you towards him. "Jagiya, I'm sorry." He bends his knees to try and look at your eyes, tears gathering but not falling. He sighs again, standing up straight and wrapping his arms around you. He didn't say anything, he just cradled you, rubbing your back as you let the tears fall and soak his hoodie. You could tell he felt bad, gentle kisses placed on the top of your head and a couple on your cheek or hoodie-clad shoulder while he swayed the both of you gently. You take a step to try and push yourself further into his hold, wrapping your arms around his middle and his arms tighten around you. "I love you, Mn...I'm sorry." You sob into his shoulder, burying your face further into his shoulder. "L-Love you, M-Min..."

𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓫𝓲𝓷 (635 Words)

You knew Changbin had a bad gym day and you did everything to cheer him up and make him feel better. You made him your noodle recipe from your mom that he absolutely loves, you drew him a warm bath when he texted a small ‘Almost home’. You sent him a quick message saying you love him and can't wait to see him but he didn't reply. Today must've been really bad, hopefully your little set up in your dining room will make him happy.

When Changbin came home, you smiled, finishing up dinner before walking out of the kitchen to greet your boyfriend, but as soon as you reached the entryway of your home, the air shifted and you realized that your Binnie was in a really bad mood as you made your way to the front door. “Hey, Bin.” “Hey.” “I, um, I drew you a bath…a-and I made your favorite recipe from my mom for dinner. It's ready when you finish your bath.” “Thanks.”

You wring your hands together before taking a stuttery inhale. “Y-You okay, Bin? I-Is there anything I can do…for you?” “No, you can't do anything.” “Excuse me?” “You can't do anything.” “Binnie, you don't mean that.” You give a weary smile and hesitant chuckle. “You just might be stressed and tired-” “Now you're suddenly aware of how I’m feeling? How would you know how I’m feeling?” “Bin-” “Stop, just stop.”

He shoves past you, his built shoulder shoving you into the wall and your left hand lands on the wall to stop yourself from colliding with the wall as you turn and watch Changbin walk away. “Bin, hey-” “I just told you to stop! Like I said, you can't do anything, you can't even listen properly.” His voice was rising the more he spoke and he turned back to you, taking slow steps towards you.

“Changbin, stop taking to me like that.” Your eyes grew glossy as you tried to hold in your tears. “Why are you crying? You're so pathetic.” “Changbin!” “Don't yell at me, you don't have a reason to yell at me!” Suddenly he's grabbing your arm and pulling you from the front door entryway to push you into the livingroom. Unfortunately, you managed to trip over the corner of your rug and you landed on your side at the same time your head connected to the side of the coffee table. You yelp in pain, feeling as if you were fifteen again when your dad found out you had a boyfriend, furious that his son was a ‘Weak Fag’ and ‘pathetic’ as you collided with the wall next to the television.

The tears fell and you let out a sob as your head pounded. You reach up to your temple and pull your hand back to find some blood, looking back up to see Changbin still standing there, staring, still angry as if he didn't realize what he just did.

You got up with shaky legs and ran to the bathroom, aiming to patch your wound but the first thing you do is slide down the door with a sob and pull your phone out, calling the first contact that you manage to navigate to. Meanwhile, Changbin tossed his hands up when you ran to the bathroom, amused that you ran away from him, still not aware of what just happened.

A few minutes later, the still unlocked front door was pushed open and he got a small glimpse of Felix rushing to the bathroom before Chan was slamming the door closed and pushing Changbin against the wall. “What the fuck-” “What is wrong with you?!” “What?” “You know he has abuse trauma, why the fuck did you do it?” “What do you mean?” Suddenly, Chan slaps him, and gestures to the room. “Look around, Changbin.” There's a few blood droplets next to the coffee table, staining your messed up rug from when you tripped, Felix trying to get you to open the bathroom door, and on the dining table were dishes ready for dinner. What really brought Changbin to reality was the number two balloon and what looked like a custom banner saying “I love you, Binnie, Happy Two Years.”

Fuck

Your guy's anniversary…

(I'm ending his here but if a pt.2/continuation is wanted, I'll get it to you :)...)

𝓗𝔂𝓾𝓷𝓳𝓲𝓷 (1083 words)

With the couple years you guys have been together, you had finally gained courage to suggest that Hyunjin moved in with you. Not like move in physically, he still lives with the boys at the dorm, I mean you let him claim your guest room to be another art studio for him. It was already your own little work space but you donated the bed, cleaned it up, reorganized, and got new furniture to surprise him with it for your one year anniversary.

Now, most of your home is covered in paintings that he's made. Either permanently or just to get it out of the room. He was with the boys when you were cleaning around, your last room of the day being the studio. You didn't do much, knowing how Hyunjin likes his things where he puts them, the most you did was put blank canvases together in the corner and put things back where you knew they belonged and knew your boy wasn't using the item anymore.

You were moving to your side of the studio when your foot slips slightly and you notice a brush of his. It was still usable but the handle was messy and slight warn and the bristles were beginning to fray. Looking at his desk, you see the other brushes which seem to be in the same state. You didn't think about it to much before smiling, biting your lip to keep the grin from spreading too wide before making your way to a set of drawers next to your desk, a collective catch all and your lucky that he's never opened the bottom drawer which contains new brushes. Black handles with a gold metal holding clean brown bristles, custom made with a little engravings on them. "Forever my prince" and "Hwang No.1". You've had them for a while, waiting for the right moment to give them since whenever you brought up the topic, he'd say the ones he has are still useful but it wasn't about just replacing his brushes, one of the brushes engravings was "Ln Hyunjin." You finally were going to propose.

You collected the old brushes and moved them to the long drawer on your desk to hide them, throw them away later. You then got an unoccupied small white vase and placed the brushes in like a bouquet before writing and small note, a simple 'Just because gift ~Mn <3' that you place next to the vase. You would've given them physically but you had some errands to run with your sibling, that's why you were cleaning, killing time.

After running errands, you came back and heard small muttering in the studio, smiling when you see his shoes before it falls when you see the slight disarray your living room was in. "Damn it, Mn, what did you do with them?" You heard him huff. What did you do? Walking down the hall, you see a few of your new brushes for him and your chest grows tight. "Jinnie?" "Mn! Where are my brushes?" "D-Didn't you see I got you new ones?" "I didn't need new ones, Mn! The ones I had are ones I'm use to." "So because you didn't want to try out the ones I bought you, you throw them on the floor?" "Mn, I didn't need new ones to begin with! If you listened to me, I wouldn't be yelling at you!"

"If you listened to me, I wouldn't have to punish you!" Your dad yelled a day after he said "Listen closely, you don't say a word about what I did to mom, I won't punish you for not cleaning the truck like I told you to do." The same day you gave in and begged your teacher that day at school to help save your family. You just wanted away from that man, you didn't want to be near him anymore but when the cops showed up, he lied, and when they left, let's just say you missed a week of school due to some bruises and your father didn't want to get caught. That's when you realized he only cared about himself and how people see him.

"I-I'm sorry...Y-You always get m-me gifts, I-I was just returning th-the favor..." "Well, you didn't have to. Now where are they?" "I-In m-my desk..." You suddenly felt like a little boy again, you felt small, confined, trapped. You wipe at your eyes with the bottom of your palm, sniffing as you watch him kick the other brushes away. "J-Jin?" "What?" He snapped. "I-I'm sorry, J-Jin-nim, I'm sorry." Chocking back a sob, you step back and run out of the room. "Jin-nim?" Hyunjin mutters to himself confused before his eyes widen, looking at the brushes before the ones in his hands clatter to the floor and he's chasing after you. You were forced to call your father Mister Jin.

Your shoes were missing and your front door was open. "Shit." He quickly slid his shoes on before running out the door. He could see you not that far away as he was quick to catch up to you, wrapping his arms around you to stop you from walking farther. "Mn, Muse, hold on." He turned you around to face him, a hand on the side of your face to gently guide your gaze up to him. "Mn, I'm sorry." "What?" You blinked a couple times before you realized it was Jin. Your Jin. "Hyunjin?" "Yeah, it's okay. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to yell, I didn't mean to get rational, I-I don't know what came over me, I should've just asked." "Y-You didn't even see the brushes...Did you?" "N-Not really...I-I really am sorry."

You reach a hand up to his, leaning into his touch before you remove his hand and walk back home. When you return, to pull him to the studio, picking up the fan brush with his name. "This is your last name." "I know." You pull him further into the studio but he stops to look at the other brushes as you move to your desk drawer, reaching to the back to pull out a ring.

You turn around, admiring Hyunjin for a moment before walking over to him, placing a gentle hand on his elbow to get him to look at you before smiling when his eye catches the ring instead. "Mn..." "I know you...just yelled at me and I have so many problems but...be mine?"

Got carried away with Hyunjin's but I'm a writer who loves details but sorry this took so long. Ended up making this two parts cause I didn't know what to do for the maknae's cause my brain thinks they're too precious to hurt someone but I will think of something. For now, I hope you...enjoyed? It's kinda weird to say I hope you enjoyed this since it's a trauma fic 😬 N E WAYS, I just hope it's okay.

Tagging @lakee-jakee and @belladonna6-6-6 who commented on the original post of me asking if anyone wanted this. It do finally be done :)

[cvnt4him]

Hello!! I'm the same girl who requested for IT reader a while back, and I really liked it!<3 I wanted to try out requesting again so I'm here once more😭😭 Anyway, are you fine with family-centered stuff? Could you do heavy angst with Father!Number One!Izuku with his little girl? You can decide whatever for the child, really!(but personally I prefer daughter) So, since Izuku is the number one, Y/N is probably the one mostly taking care of their kid. What if there was this huge accident that killed Y/N because the heroes were too late to detain the villain? Plus points if Izuku was the hero assigned. So ever since the death, Izuku is suddenly the caretaker and tries his absolute best to make his kid happy but fails since the kid absolutely loathes him for being absent and for being too late to save their mother. What do you think Izuku will do?? So, yeah!! It's up to you if this isn't weird</3

Its not weird at all my love, thanm you for the req and I'm so glad to have you requesting from me again, feel free to stop by once more and leave some more, youre always welcome<33 I would also like to apologize to you and everyone else who has made a req and I haven't gotten to it. I won't get into detail but I've been busy, I've closed my reqs so I can get all my old ones out, most of my reqs are like months old anyways so here i am clesning out the closet.

...

“mr midoriya, where would you say your life went wrong?”

“ ....when I left my wife.. ”

Izuku was always infatuated with you, your beauty, your strength, how compassionate and caring you were. He thought you were just neat. You didn't have a quirk yet like him you still made it into UA. You were pretty smart and tried hard at everything you did. He admired you for that, he watched you closely and studied you. Not in a creepy way, but in a "I'm in love with you, notice me" way.

In your second year you'd finally taken a liking towards him, he was quite cute despite his odd haircut. You understood it was due to the trouble he went through in the war, he was strong reliable and terrifyingly selfless. Izuku midoriya was a great guy and you had really liked him, the two of you started going on sweet little dates together, walking in the park sharing an ice cream, going to the movies to see whats new, going to a carnival with some friends and sneaking off alone.

Those were the days izuku wished could've lasted forever, where nothing was wrong, peace was restored and everyone was happy. But as life does. It moves on. The world changes right before tour eyes and before you know it, it's been 8 years. The two of you are still happily together in fact married now, and expecting. Izuku and you had gotten out of college a couple years ago, he became a pro and you were in charge of the Deku Foundation. A silly name for a silly little guy.

Izuku was a family guy, he didn't see his father much growing up so he knew this was what he wanted. He wanted to assure to you, the mother of his unborn child, and to his unborn child that he would be there, always and forever. He held you at night and made you breakfast in the morning, he wasn't always there to eat it with you but he made sure to leave adorable little notes for you to feel special, you kept busy doing work for his company, exercising to try and reduce stretch marks and baby weight in the future, and cooking for fun. It was hard being pregnant but it was worth it. Is what you'd say.

Izuku could never forget the moment you had his baby. Those were the absolute happiest moments in his life, no doubt about it. Watching his baby leave from your birth canal, he seen the way you screamed in agony with the final push. He was so mesmerized by it all, his wife just gave birth to his... beautiful babygirl.

“congratulations, mr and mrs midoriya, it's a girl.”

When the doctors gave you your baby, he watched closely as she stopped crying immediately at the contact of your skin, your soft voice shushing her sounds away, he pleas and cries powering down as she calmer herself. Its like you were a magical being, izuku was so enamoured with it, with you. With his new baby.

Holding her for the first time was his dream, it was even better than he could've possibly imagined. He sighed and tried to hold back tears, yet they fell asleep if a water faucet was left on, he sniffled and hiccupped as he tried to hold her closely, he took off his shirt so she could feel that skin to skin contact that babies are supposed to love. He read a book about parenting, of course the book would've been better for you to read because it was how to prepare for child birth but either way; it worked.

This moment, truly was the happiest one yet; but as life does. It moves on. And before he knew it 6 years had passed, you're beautiful babygirl was in first grade! She was making friends learning a lot and laughing and playing like kids her age should. She loved the outdoors and loved animals, she enjoyed small things like butterflies and rabbits. She was such a vibrant little girl, a splitting image from izuku too, mind the couple of genetics of yours that had shined through. Izuku loved his girls so much, watching the way you two played together, when you did her hair, read to her, his favorite thing of all was to watch you to crochet.

It was so calming, you would hold her close and show her carefully how to apply the yarn, teaching her how to swap colors smoothly and humming gently to her. Izuku watched you both closely, he's a very observant man, with that being said watching his girls was hos favorite thing to do. It's like you two were a show he could never get tired of, a program that was played just for him.

Izuku was a pro now and as much as he loved you both, he had a job to do. One that he couldn't fail, it ate him away that hr couldn't just sit with his girls all day long. Listen to little stories his baby has to share about her day at school. As much as he disliked it, he would even love to listen to his wife rant on and on about a little dream she had the other night, how the washer was in the kitchen instead of the laundry room and looked like an oven instead. Such odd dreams you had.

Izuku hadn't even realized it, but he had been spending more and more time at his agency, accidentally sleeping there and coming home 4 hours before he had to go back up there. It was tiring, he was tired, yet he had a job to do. And he wouldn't fail. You two started seeing less of him, it saddened your daughter deeply yet you tried to remind her constantly that he is a hero, and heroes have jobs to do. She would nod and give you a smile still laced with disappointment, sadness.

What really pissed you off was when he promised your little girl he'd be there for her science fair, yet didn't show. She won and everything, he promised her he'd help with making it. Whoops he couldn't do that because he was working. No matter! He apologized so you both just slid it off. However this was the last straw for you. Driving home you were furious, seeing your little girl in the mirror with a frown as she fiddled with her ribbon.

You stayed up late that night. Assuring that you'd catch him, and once you did you two argued. Which is something you'd never done, of course you two would bicker and disagree on things, but this was unlike those times. You were both yelling and had possibly woken up your daughter, but neither of you could care. Too blinded by your own fury, you had banished him and he left without a word. Without a second thought, without looking back.

“ I wish I looked back.... I wish I would've apologized, I wish I could've been there when she needed me; when they needed me... ”

That was the last time he'd seen you alive.

It was a normal day for the most part, besides the fact that you two had argued two nights before and hasn't spoken since. Izuku hadn't seen his daughter nor spoken to her either, it was eating away at him but he didn't have time to focus on that right now.. he was getting a signal from one of his sidekicks out on patrol.

“ deku! We need you! There's been an accident! There's a huge fire breathing villain who's trapped a woman and her daughter!”

A woman and her daughter.... That had to be a coincidence. It was, it had to be. Tons of people have daughters and just so happen to be women as well. Hell, he bets it's not even her daughter!!

“its- it's your wife...”

A loud scream was heard on the sidekicks line, izuku was terrified, he moved without even thinning jumping out of the nearest window zooming through the air trying to reach you. So many things going through his mind, why were you out? What were you doing? You never go out, why now! Why was his daughter there?

He was trying his damnedest to reach you, he couldn't help but feel like time was slowing down. Like he wasn't fast enough, meanwhile in actuality he was moving faster than the speed of sound. So why wasn't he there yet? He groaned in annoyance at this, he couldn't shake the terrible shrieking sound that came from the other line.. it terrified him.

“ come in! Is everything alright?! What's the situation?! ”

“i...”

“ what?! what is it, spit it out?! ”

“ I'm sorry... ”

Sorry? Sorry for what? Why the hell was he saying sorry? The only question izuku could find himself wondering. Upon arriving he sees people running, fire burning everywhere and debris filling the air, he coughed through the smoke putting on his mask and zooming through the thick fog. He found his sidekick, no wonder his voice was so hoarse and dry, he had collapsed and passed out. Izuku took him to the nearby ambulance that was present before going back through the smoke to find you.

Other heroes were arriving on scene and searching for other civilians, trying to get them out while others tried taking down the villain, he was huge and was not going down without a fight. Izuku couldn't even try to worry about the villain, you and his daughter were his main focus.

“ daddy! Please help us! ”

The sound of his daughter wailing with a cracky voice, it shattered his heart he followed the sound of crying until he found the two of you, your daughter by your side holding your arm tears falling down her reddened cheeks, she was dirty and covered and muck. She also just so happened to be covered in...blood.

“ princess... what.. what happened.. ”

His daughter ran into his arms bursting into even more tears hiccuping and sobbing. Her cries were loud and full of sadness anyone within a mile radius could tell and even hear, izuku picked you up in his arms not even taking the time to assure you were okay, not checking a pulse or to see if you were breathing. He just swooped you up in his arms bridal style and had his daughter on his back, telling her to cover her mouth. He zoomed through the smoke and handed you both over to the ambulance, they were quick to ail you both.

Izuku was soon to go help the other heroes in scene but first he looked back to you, to see them giving you air and performing CPR, his eyes widened and just as he was about to go back over to you, he tried to rush to your side before being caught by none other than..

“ deku, c'mon we need you. ”

“ kach- erm- dynamite. I can't, I have to— ”

“ come. on. ”

The fiery blonde yanked the large green haired male by his suit and dragged him back into action, he thought this was for the best. Leaving your side this last time to finish slaying this beast.

The fight was over and everyone who had been injured was taken to the nearest hospitals, the villain who had caused all of this trouble was taken into custody and was going to be behind bars for a long time. During the fight people could tell izuku was letting out pent up steam on the villain, he could've killed him. He was sure of it, everyone was. He had be pulled off in order for him to stop. You were hurt and his daughter could've gotten hurt. Izuku felt the villain deserved far much worse than to be behind bars. But at least he was rotting.

Izuku went to see you in the hospital, waiting for hours on end, pacing back and forth a million things on his mind. His daughter had been released a while ago, she was fine apart from the smoke inhalation. He couldn't believe she didn't have a single scratch on her, but he was glad and very much thankful. She sat in the nearest seat taking it easy, watching izuku pace around before finally, some news..

“ mr midoriya— ”

“ what- what's going on is my wife okay?! what's the problem, can I go and see her?? ”

“ I uhm... ahem. I'm afraid I have some bad news.. Mr midoriya. ”

Izukus expression fell, his eyes widened yet his face was completely blank. His heart dropped and completely shattered at the words the doctor said to him. His daughter immediately broke down. Tears were brimming in his eyes, he was borderline shaking in his red boots. He felt bile rising in his throat, the burning sensation making tears fall. They fell and never stopped. He held his daughter close that night. Never letting her go. He was afraid if he did... She might leave him.

....

“ I see. and how does that make you feel?”

“ ... are you seriously asking me how my dead wife makes me fucking feel. ”

“ yes. It's been 9 years, you've retired from hero work and have been seeing me for quite some time yet we never seem to talk about her. ”

Fuck... 9 years had completely flown by him. He hadn't even realized.. you'd been gone for 9 years....

“ I... I.. ”

“ your daughter will be a freshman at UA this year, correct? How does that make you feel? Have you checked in with your daughter? Have you asked how she's been? How has she coped with her mother's death? ”

Izuku was speechless. 9 years had passed, he can't seem to remember much and his daughter.. the last piece of you he has, is starting school at the very high school you two met at. Where did the time go...

AN: I'm not good at angst if you can't tell, this is a shite ending and uhm I've been feeling like shit so I hope this makes you feel shitty, but in like a good way yk? I want you to feel so hurt and sad that it makes you think 'wow.. this is some good shit right here.'

[sandy-the-glader]

Hi!! I hope this is okay!! If not, no worries!! 💜💜💜 (I love you lots!)

Can I please request an Adrian Chase x fem!innocent!reader Where while Adrian is out and about doing his Vigilante work he comes across a bunch of criminals in a warehouse, and after they’re all “taken care of”, he hears someone crying and finds a girl hiding behind a pile of the criminal’s stuff, and she’s handcuffed to something over there, so she couldn’t leave even if she wanted to. She’d obviously be completely terrified of Vig, but as we know, he is very good at reading a person and would clearly see that she is innocent, and had been taken by the bad guys. Normally he would just set the innocent girl free and be on his way, having already taken care of the bad guys, however… He had unfortunately taken off his mask right before finding her, and had forgotten to put it back on, so she has seen his face. Panicking, he just picks her up, and takes her to his car with him, driving straight to the 11th Street Kids HQ, carrying in a terrified Y/n, he himself all panicked, and the team is like “wtf did you do????” “Did you abduct her???” And he’s just like, “No no, I saved her! But then she saw my face… So I guess, yes??”

Lmao it’s honestly a mess, but the team takes care of Y/n’s injuries, apologies for Adrian’s behavior lmao, and lets her stay there until she has recovered, as not only is she hurt, but very scared. After a while of staying with them, she gradually starts warming up to Adrian, him desperately trying to get her not to be afraid of him anymore (for a while there she was terrified of him), and their relationship eventually grows into a more romantic and intimate one🥺🥺🤧

Afraid of Me

*Not my gif*

Character: Adrian Chase x SoftFem!Reader

Type: Fluff and sorta angsty

Length: 5.4K (a bit long)

Summary: Request above <3

Trope: Strangers to friends to lovers, Slow-burn

A/N: LONG A/N!! Sorry this took forever I've been busy with a lot of stuff and I just haven't had any time but I worked on this whenever I could. Btw again I bent the request a little bit (I'm not sure if I wrote what you wanted for it and I apologize ) so I hope it’s okay I just made this go over the whole period of time the show does and like more so there's more time for a bond to be built lol

I heard a quick gunshot followed by another. Tears continued to fall from my eyes as I was tied to some random wall in some warehouse, Apparently, I was not supposed to come across two men selling heroin to each other but here I am. They claimed I saw too much, took me, and tied me up. Who even does that?

I just wanted to return to my apartment and read this new book I bought. That's all I had planned for my day anyway. Yet now I was tied to a pole in some wet and cold warehouse with random crates surrounding me. I tugged and tried to break from but it was helpless. I cried and sniffled as I continued to try but there was no avail.

Were those shots from them or someone else? Please god, let someone save me. I had been here for hours and I was scared of what they had planned for me. They already hit me pretty hard over the head which caused a small trail of blood to fall from my temple.

I heard loud and heavy footsteps coming towards me. I braced myself and waited for the figure to come around the crate to where I was. He was wearing a teal suit, with blood covering it. It was Vigilante. Should I be happy or terrified? He's a killer but isn't he supposed to be a hero?

"Fuck oh my god." He gasped slapping a gloved hand over his mouth. He was missing one exceptionally important part of his suit. His mask. That must have been why he was so frantic.

In all honesty, he looked nothing like I always pictured him. He was lanky with glasses and he looked really young. He looked mid-twenties though I had a feeling he was older. He honestly looked nerdy.

"I'm sorry. I really won't tell anyone who you are. I-I mean I don't even know your name." I stammered. He didn't care though because he continued to curse.

"Fuck fuck fuck. This is so not good." he groaned. The man ran a thick hand through his hair while bouncing back and forth. "Umm." He pondered confused about what to do. "Shit, I can't let you go." My eyes widen. He already has saved me why not let me go on my merry way? He took off his glasses and put his mask back on.

He came over to me and examined my situation. He crouched down and started untieing the rope that kept me on the pole but didn't bother with the ones around my hands or feet.

I was about to thank him for his acts but he picked me up and started to carry me out. Oh, he's actually not letting me go.

"What are you doing!?" I panicked. I started wiggling my body in his grasp then he held me tighter. "Where are you taking me? This hurts." He continued to keep walking until we reached his car a couple of feet from the warehouse.

Holding me with one hand, he opened the door to his back seat and tossed me in. Judging by his face, he didn't mean it to be as aggressive but it was enough to get me to shut up. He slammed the door and rushed over to the driver's seat.

This is it. After all that's happened today I'm being kidnapped by Vigilante and who knows what's going to happen. I guess the law doesn't apply when it comes to him. I actually can't believe it right now.

The entire car ride was silent. Not a sound from the man or from me. It was terrifying. All I could think of was what was going to happen to me. it took him forever to get to his destination and when we got there I realized it was some rundown video store. That couldn't be where we're going right?

-

"Guy's we got a fucking situation!" Adrian called opening the door with the girl in his hands. The whole team in the building stared at him with wide 'What the fuck' like eyes.

"Who the fuck is that?" Economos asked adjusting his glasses and leaning over his desk.

Adrian (not so carefully) dropped the woman on the floor making her yelp out in shock and pain.

"Did you just kidnap a girl?" Adebayo's eyes widened at the sight.

"No Adebayo!" He yelled defensively. "Okay, well technically yes but-" He was cut off quickly.

"And why did you bring her here?" Harcourt burst out running a hand through her blonde hair.

"Okay, I was doing my badass stuff, right? Like beating up these bad dudes and I found her behind some crates." They all stared at him waiting for him to continue. "And since I didn't know these dudes took a hostage I took my mask off and that's-" He removed his mask again and replaced the glasses on his face. "Really bad." He grimaced.

"Adrian what the hell dude you could have left her. She would have never turned you in. Look at her. No offense." Chris said. She stayed silent like she never heard the comment in the first place.

She was scared to death, trembling on the floor with small tear streaks down her face. Some of the tears mixed in with blood on the left side of her face. She looked innocent as could be and she definitely didn't deserve to be in this mess.

"Dude what the fuck!" He shouted at Chris. "Now she knows my real name! You have so fucked me!" He continued to cure which didn't make the girl feel any better.

"I did not fuck you! Besides it's your fault for bringing her here anyway." Chris furrowed his eyebrows looking back and forth between the petrified girl and his idiotic friend.

"What is happening out here?" Murn came out from one of the rooms and immediately regretted his decision. "We're supposed to be working on the project butterfly case what are you doing Chase?" He asked sternly.

"Oh, now she knows about Project Butterfly!" Harcourt placed a hand on her forehead.

"Well, it's not like I can kill her because she's innocent" The girl's face drained at the mention of death. "and we can't get rid of her because she might tell someone who I am!" Adrian wined out. He was finally right about one thing.

"She also might screw our plan up," Murn muttered trying to think of a reasonable thing to do with this girl.

"Then what do you suppose we do with her?" Economos folded his arms. The girl had been silent the entirety of this conversation but she finally piped up.

"Um.." Her voice caught everyone's attention and they turned their heads to look at her. "I-I can clean and o-organize around here." She stammered. "I can help you guys just please don't kill me." She pleaded. They all non-verbally agreed she had been through enough judging by the look of blood running from her temple and dirt caking her shirt.

"Yeah that honestly could be useful," Harcourt spoke. She looked around the room to only be met with agreeing faces. She let out another deep sigh before Murn spoke up.

"You will work the same hours as us and will get paid a fair amount." He folded his arms tightly over his chest. He didn't ask he just demanded she work.

"I'm also a fast learner and I can help you with anything you need. I don't have a current job so that would be perfect." She tried to look at the bright side of the situation. I can work for money but this is a destructive and hard-core business she pondered. "And since this is a very um dangerous job I just so happened to be trained in medical care." She offered.

"Oh, sweet! That's perfect so now dyed bear can stop doing such a shit job of stitching me up!" Chris smiled.

"Hey!" Economos protested. It was perfectly fine he thought.

"What about my living situation? C-can I still stay In my apartment?" She asked. They all looked around at each other because that was one thing they hadn't thought of. If they let her stay, she could always tell people without them knowing.

"If we let you stay in your apartment, you must realize he" Murn pointed at Adrian Chase himself. "has to keep watch of you? He somehow always knows if someone is doing something they shouldn't be." She nodded slowly. "And if you tell anyone and I mean anyone you will be terminated immediately, do you understand?" He spoke firmly making her hands tremble.

"I understand." She muttered.

"Now that everyone is done with this whole situation I suggest you get back to work," Murn concluded walking back to his office annoyed with the inconvenience.

-

I sat there absolutely stunned at what just happened. I just got myself into a bat shit crazy job. I mean I don't even know these people and one of them literally abducted me. This is not normal.

Project butterfly? Are these guys all heroes or something? I already was aware of Vigilante's existence and somewhat Peacemaker but there's a lot more than just those two.

"Oh my god, he didn't even untie you." The blonde-haired woman spoke in surprise. I didn't say anything because really what was I supposed to say? "I'm Harcourt." She kneeled beside me. She opened a switchblade and sliced through the ropes binding my hands together and then my feet. "Come on let's get you cleaned up. She went and collected the first aid kit from one of the desks on the left side of the room and motioned for me to sit at her desk. "What's your name?" She asked.

"Y/n L/n." I said quietly as I stared into my lap anxiously.

"Come sit Y/n." She said calmly trying to make me comfortable.

I stood up uneasily and almost fell back down. I steadied myself and carefully walked over to the chair and sat down gently. She pulled out a couple of cotton swabs and some alcohol. She poured the strong liquid onto the small ball.

"I'm sorry about him." Harcourt hummed taking the cotton swab to my forehead.

"Hm?" I replied softly.

"Adrian." She looked me in the eyes. "He just isn't all there sometimes." She mumbled. She tossed the bloodied-up swab in the trash and put a bandage over the small cut.

I looked over at Vigilante who I guess was named Adrian. He was talking to Peacemaker and he looked perfectly innocent. Not even an hour earlier he was tossing me into the back of his car. Jesus, what did I really get myself into? Not only does he have to escort me home, but now I have to work with him. He's a psycho!

"She has a point you know." The woman I was pretty sure was Adebayo spoke up. I glanced at her and she nodded trying to make me realize it. "He's a really good guy you just have to get to know him. I get it he basically kidnapped you but he's stupid in everything but fighting."

"Yeah okay," I mumbled softly. I don't care what they say now I can't trust him after what he did unless he really proves he's trustworthy. At least these people actually had the decency to tend to my wounds.

She continued to bandage and take care of every cut I had on my arms and face. I enjoyed her already because she was delicate to me and cared about my feelings. Pretty quickly she finished and put all the materials away.

"Come over here I think we found a box of old clothes you could change in." She led me back into the store and I could feel Adrian's eyes burning into my back.

-

"Dude she's afraid of me!" I panicked at Chris looking him dead in the eye. I waited for her to leave before I talked to my best friend about the whole thing.

"Well, I mean you did throw her in the back of your car. Chicks don't really dig that. Unless they're like hardcore." Okay yeah obviously I fucked up big time but I was under a lot of pressure and I wasn't doing what I should have!

"Dude I didn't know what else to do." I whined

"I mean you just gotta make things right with her I guess. I don't know I usually don't have to apologize to girls." He shrugged his shoulders. Great okay how am I supposed to do that when she's obviously afraid of me? Fuck. "Listen when you walk her to her apartment just be like 'Sorry for kidnapping you in my shitty car that was a pretty bad thing to do!' or something like that." I let out a heavy sigh. This is never going to work.

-

I came back out to the main room in a sweatshirt with the video store's logo on it and sweatpants that were longer than my actual legs with the same logo down the side of it. I held my original clothes in my arms and I was quiet.

What do I do now? Go home? How am I supposed to feel safe in my own home when I know that guy is watching me?

"Listen." Harcourt grabbed my attention. "You can take as much time as you need before you go home. I know that was probably a traumatic experience for you so let me know when you want to leave." She spoke as if she had read my mind. I nodded. "Also we have your address so we can get you home easily." Okay well, I told her my name and that was all it took to find out where I lived. Spectacular.

"What are my work hours?" I still can't believe I got myself to work for these people.

"Just don't get here any later than 8. Hours are different every day. Since you now work here I guess I should tell you who everyone is." She pointed to Peacemaker and Vigilante who were still chatting near the corner of the room "Chris and Adrian ." Then to the other man in glasses. "Economos." The guy in the other room that I could see through the glass. "Murn." Finally, she pointed at the last girl which I already knew. "and Adebayo."

I stood around for not too much longer before very anxiously describing to Harcourt my wishes to leave. She understood fully and went over to Adrian to make him take me home. He looked at me with some sort of care in his eyes but I just couldn't look at him so my eyes fell back to the sight of the floor.

"Come on kid." Harcourt motioned with her head to leave out the door with the man. I walked out the door and the cool air hit me as the sun started to sink down below the horizon.

One car ride and then I'm home. This time I got to sit in the front seat of his car instead of being thrown in the back like a doll. I secured my seatbelt and then just slumped against the car door. All I could really do was pay attention to the passing cars outside and the quiet buzz of the radio.

I also noticed the pleasing smell of his cologne that filled the car or how he hummed along to the Taylor Swift song on the radio. Someone like him is a swiftie?

"I'm sorry that I kidnapped you." Adrian broke the silence between us in an attempt to apologize. I ignored it and kept looking out the window. It was a long day and I genuinely couldn't tell if he was being sincere or was just trying to make me feel like he cared. "Please talk to me. I know I fucked up." I glanced over at him; his eyes flickered between the road and me. "Hey." He reached for my hand and flinched away with wide eyes and a quickened heartbeat.

His eyes lit up in sorrow. He looked like he felt bad. He backed off and for the rest of the car ride, he didn't talk anymore. There was so much tension in that car I felt like I was going to suffocate. I could barely look at him. I was still scared of his guts.

Every turn and stop made me think over and over about the events that occurred today. It was nauseating.

Finally walking through the door of my apartment left me with this feeling I couldn't describe. All of the events that happened today were fucking unbelievable.

The book I was planning to read was on my bed and was quickly tossed on my side table with a small thud. I sprawled out on my bed not bothering to do anything else tonight.

What. The. Fuck.

-

It's my first day on the job and my teammate already hit someone with a car. A van actually. I got to the disguised video store a bit after seven and Murn described the plan to me. Since I wasn't significant to the plan I just stayed in the car with a first-aid kit just in case things went south. And oh they did.

"Is he dead!?" I stood in the van looking at Economos dumbfounded. He didn't reply at first he was just making shocked quivering noises.

"I... I don't know?" My eyes widened as he started to get out of the car holding a crowbar tightly in his hands. I left the kit on the seats (since I had been fidgeting with the latches the whole ride) and followed him for support or something like that. Maybe I thought I could help. He inspected inside the car which he had hit fully force.

Judomaster was crawling on the ground in front of the car slowly. Economos inched closer and closer to him holding the crowbar. He whacked him once over the head and jolted backward then his body went limp. We waited and sure enough, he kept crawling. He hit him again and he still was moving. I slapped a hand over my mouth as he repeatedly hit him on the back of the head. He poked him a few times like you would a bug making sure he wasn't moving.

"Oh my god." He let out. "Fuck yeah!" He turned around to high-five me. I lightly returned it. "Don't worry he's not dead." He said sensing my shock. "They're hardcore it takes a lot."

"Well, what do we do with him now?" I looked at Economos for ideas. We ended up tying him up and throwing him in the back of the van. I watched him intensely. When would this dude wake up? I really hope not any time soon. Murn radioed us and let us know that they would be coming back soon with of course Vigilante. Economos drove us back to the spot we were supposed to be in and awaited their arrival.

"You're pretty cool." I complimented him. He was taken aback by the positive words.

"Well thank you." He adjusted his glasses with a bright smile.

We waited for 15 minutes until they finally arrived and loaded themselves into the van. Everyone looked untouched besides Harcourt's messy hair, a couple cuts on Peacemaker's face and Vigilante crying about his bleeding toe. I grabbed the medical kit I had set down on the seats just minutes before and rushed to Adrian's side.

I motioned for him to move his foot up to where I needed it. He hesitated for a moment but then proceeded to lift his foot into my lap. I scoped out his injured toe and I pulled out the needed materials.

Yikes. I was definitely glad that I stayed in the van. Adrian’s foot jerked in my lap as I tried to get some alcohol.

"Hold still!" I complained to Adrian trying to hold his leg down from wriggling under my grasp. From the looks of it, this man had managed to get half of his pinky toe cut off. That is such a bizarre thing for torture.

“It hurts so bad though!” He wined when I took the alcohol to his foot. He had obviously had worse happen to him but this?

“It could have been worse,” I said. My hold got tighter on his leg since it kept jolting side to side.

“Pft yeah, this was nothing!” He lied as if he hadn’t been complaining two seconds ago. “I’ve gone through worse in DND.” A small smile appeared on my cheeks. DND huh? Who knew the big strong Vigilante was a total nerd? And a swiftie...

“One of my characters got their arm bitten off by a bear so I’d say you’re okay,” I said. His eyes lit up at the mention that I had played before." Just sit still it's about to get worse." His eyes clenched shut.

"Oh shit!" He screamed out making everyone irritated in the van. I shushed him gently with a soft hand on his leg. He shut up very quickly but his body still tensed occasionally with every sting. I held his foot carefully as I bandaged it up thoroughly.

"Are you hurt anywhere else?" I asked. I still didn't dare to look him in the eye.

"Yeah, but I can wait until we get back." He tried to act tough but I could hear the pain in his voice. I noticed a couple of holes in his shirt. Maybe I could fix his shirt while I'm at it. God am I being too nice?

I mean I'm trying to think of the bright side of what happened yesterday and honestly, it didn't seem so bad anymore. He saved my ass and I'm having a paying job. I can only imagine the pay is fantastic for what these people have me doing. I sat next to Adrian. I was feeling a little less scared of him now when I thought about him like that. Even through the visor, his eyes were peeled onto me. It felt like since I got here they never left.

Getting back to headquarters I couldn't get Adrian to get out of the van without making a scene. I dragged him quickly into the store so he wouldn't draw any attention from people lurking around In the streets. I pulled him by his hand and made him sit in the closest chair I could spot. He whined and moaned obnoxiously loud. I knew the stories and new articles about the man. He was tough and put up a big fight, he never lost against criminals.

I grabbed the larger bandages from an area Harcourt showed me just this morning and also some more alcohol.

"Show me where you're hurt." I looked at him curious about what else had happened to him. He pulled off his chest plate and revealed the deep stab wound in his shoulder. The fabric of his shirt clearly revealed the bloody mess it left. My eyes widen. "You kept this from me until now?"

"I could handle this. The toe I'm not entirely sure." I cleaned and bandaged the wound with intense concentration. I was careful and sure not to cause any more harm after this long night. "Thank you." He said softly. I just nodded and didn't reply with anything else.

-

The days passed as we worked on this project and the days were long and there was a lot of work to do. I didn't have almost any free time anymore so it was hard to make time for friends I actually wanted to talk to or things I really wanted to do. Adrian continued to try his hardest to earn my trust and befriend me.

I started to warm up to him crazy enough. He did little things for me I thought were sweet. Sometimes he brought me breakfast or he would try to learn about things I liked so he could talk about them with me. I started to trust him more and more as the mission proceeded because he was really good company. He would talk and I would listen.

A couple of days after the whole 'Adrian getting his pinky toe almost cut off' situation he got himself arrested. I didn't even know until Harcourt talked to me about it and what Adebayo said to him. I felt bad for him because as much as I thought I disliked him, I hated to hear he was where he was and how Adebayo literally manipulated him into doing it.

The night he got out he showed up at my apartment because he still needed to check up on me and since he hadn't been able to. For the first time, I felt comfortable enough to hug him. So I did, I wrapped my arms gently around his torso and gave a small squeeze. We stood like that for a minute before he quietly wished me a 'goodnight' without any further words. That was the kindest moment we had ever shared with one another

Then the next day we had another mission. Since all this time has passed, I had been informed on what a Butterfly fully was. At first, it was entirely confusing until I realized these were tiny alien butterflies here to kill us. I know it sounds like something straight out of a sci-fi movie.

I had to sit through a whole meeting in the morning next to Adrian where he (the whole time) joked with me. It felt sorta nice honestly. He never stopped being friendly and I just kind of started to accept it more.

And the whole mission went by quickly.

"Oh my god." I blurted when everyone arrived back in the truck. Peacemaker and Economos were fully drenched head to toe in blood, Harcourt had a good amount on her, and Adebayo and Adrian had little to none on them.

"We fought a fucking gorilla!" Adebayo exploded with astonishment. Jesus, sometimes I wish I didn't sit in the car the whole time.

"Economos is the fucking man." Peacemaker clapped him on the back with a proud grin. I did miss a lot if those two are now getting along.

"All the blood is the gorillas right?" I asked startled for a second considering the amount.

"Yeah we're all fine," Harcourt said tiredly.

"At least no one's arm got bitten off, like your DND character right?" Adrian nudged me in the side and sat down next to me. Sure I had only told him a few days ago about that but it still made me happy that he had remembered that tiny detail.

"Right." I smiled. Chris sat in the front and started playing music like he had at the beginning of the ride. I sang along with the rest of my team members to 11th Street Kids and I actually started to enjoy my work a little more.

I looked over at Adrian who was dancing like a dork. He looked so adorable? He was playing air drums and making up random dances as he went. I don't know why but I started to not hate him anymore. I started seeing this more personal side of him. Not Vigilante but Adrian.

"C'mon dance," Adrian whispered in my ear and nudged me again. I started to sway along with the group.

Later that night Harcourt made a group chat with all of us and sent a photo she had taken in the van. I set the book down I had finally got to reading beside me on my bed and picked up my phone.

Everyone was dancing in the van but on the right side, you could see me looking at Adrian with the sweetest smile on my face. The chat is filled with different emojis. The only number I had was Harcourts but from the merman emoji, I already knew it was Adrian. I liked his message and sent a fitting emoji to match the others.

I set my phone down and continued reading with a big smile. I never seemed to stop today.

-

It was the final day of the project and I wasn’t allowed to go. I wasn’t entirely complaining since this job was so bizarre but I was also disappointed. I mean all this build up and I don’t even get to go. They said it would be safer for me and of course, I understood.

But as the night carried on and the morning came through I was nervous. I had no texts or word from anyone. Sure, they still could be busy and have to do some other stuff before texting me but what if?

I heard a rushed-sounding knock on my door which threw me off. I ran to my door since the person decided to not stop knocking.

"What do you want?" I hissed as I threw open the door but I was only met with Adrian. My eyes soften upon seeing him. Oh, thank god he’s alive. "Adrian. Hi." I paused when noticing he was in a pair of shorts and a nursing gown. "Come inside." I ushered him in with wide eyes and closed the door quickly behind him. "What are you doing here?"

"Listen I jumped out of a hospital building to be her so-"

"Adrian!" I scolded him for being careless. I had started to really enjoy him I didn't need him being so careless all the time.

"Shut up. Sorry, but I need to tell you this." I stared at him silently with folded arms awaiting what he was about to tell me. "Okay, so after almost dying, I know what you're about to say please just wait. After almost dying, I realized had more feelings for you than I have ever had for someone and that's like a lot for me." He stepped closer to me. "I had to tell you those feelings just in case I actually died sometime. But now I'm scared if you reject me because of the whole kidnapping thing when we first met and usually I would be okay with rejection but I don't feel usual with you." He rambled and his hands made several confusing gestures along the way.

Everything about him told me he was being truthful. His hands were trembling with nervousness, He literally came from a hospital to tell me this and he just had that look on his face.

The feelings from the other day came rushing back. I really enjoyed being with genuine Adrian. The time we spent together over the course of this project was enjoyable. I noticed small things about him like the way he always made sure to keep an eye on me and was careful not to get me into anything super dangerous. He had become almost like a personal guard.

He even taught me how to use weapons, and also never overstepped my boundaries. So yeah maybe I developed a crush on my kidnapper co-worker.

"Why are you looking at me like that I'm like really nervous right now." He asked.

"Because I feel the same way. Even though you did totally kidnap and traumatize me." I nudged him smiling but he didn't return it. "Adrian I was playing with you. But I really do feel the same way." He let out a long breath. I was quite sure he had stopped breathing for a little while.

"Oh thank god." Adrian stepped closer and picked me up in his arms as he kissed me deeply. I've kissed a couple of times in the past but never did it feel as amazing as this. I held him close to me as if he would slip away again. He pulled away to look closely at my face.

"Just because you kissed me doesn't mean I won't scold you for almost dying." I glared at him but he just smiled kindly and kissed me again.

"If I keep. Kissing you then. I won't. Get yelled at." He said in between kisses making me start to laugh.

“Don’t scare me like that again Chase.” I shook my head kissing him passionately once more. I could get used to this feeling.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for being the reason my mom and her boyfriend broke up?

My (23) mom has been with this person since I was 7 years old. They do not nor have they ever lived together (in fact, he lives a state away and drives here every thursday-sunday). To his credit, he has shown up for me for orchestra concerts, graduation, flight pick ups, etc almost my whole life whereas my dad has not. However I have not liked him since I was around 17 years old (we were in the middle of a very long drive two states away from home yet AT NIGHT. My mom has high anxiety and can't see very well at night and he screamed at her for not driving but then didn't even stop the car to let her drive anyway?? And when she started crying he jerked the radio up to the highest volume and ignored me kicking and yelling at him in the back because I could've driven instead but whatever)

Anyway. He has a history of tantrums and outbursts like the above. He's never been violent, but one time he hid my mom's cat's ashes just to upset her. He broke her potted plants, showed up at her work to yell at her more, etc. Thanksgiving of 2020, he had me cornered against the wall and was screaming in my face about how ungrateful and disrespectful I am because I didnt talk to him enough while I was home for break. We ended up having to leave our house and stay at a friend's.

And yet my mom forgave him because he cried and apologized to her. But never to me. And she expected me to forgive and move on because she "knows he has a good heart."

Anyway anyway, my mom knew how I felt after that. To prevent him having meltdowns on Christmas or his birthday or fathers day, she would get him gifts and put my name on them. Which I never asked her to do.

Well this year for Christmas he decided I once again was not being grateful or respectful or appreciate enough to/for him. My mom told me to call him and apologize and I said no, because he's never apologized to me and I didn't think I had even done anything. Plus, if I DID apologize out of nowhere for not meeting his expectations he would've known my mom told me to do so.

I was on the long drive home for break when they got into a big fight about me. He asked her if she would choose him or me and she chose me. He broke the brand new TV she bought him for Christmas and the entertainment stand it was on. They haven't seen each other since.

My mom says it's not my fault, but I feel like I've always been the one wedging between them. I'm the one who couldn't let things go, I'm the one who obviously avoids him, I'm the one who won't accept his apologies through a third party. She says this is for the best because they're on different paths and now she can focus on herself, her own happiness, and her faith (which is very important to her and not at all for him).

I just wish my mom was able to come to this conclusion without me being the catalyst. There had to have been a better way to go about this. I don't think I'm blameless here. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[canirove]

Rice, Rice, baby | Chapter 22

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“Hello, my boy. Hello. It's your uncle James” Madders says while talking to my bump and caressing it. “Hello my gorgeous nephew.”

“Was he also like this when you were pregnant?” I ask Kennedy.

“Worse” she sighs. “You should have seen him after we felt Leo moving for the first time. His hand was glued to my belly and he constantly talked to it to try and figure out which words made him move.”

“How did that go?”

“He ignored me” Madders says while caressing my bump. “Have you felt him yet?”

“No, I haven't. But my doctor said it can happen any day now.”

“James cried like a baby the first time in both pregnancies” Kennedy chuckles.

“I was feeling my children for the first time. Of course I cried!” he says. “For you guys it's different because you feel the changes inside you, but we don't. And seeing a scan or hearing their heartbeat isn't the same as actually feeling something move.”

“Declan cried when he heard his heartbeat for the first time, so he'll probably do it again when he feels him move too. And then I'll join him.”

“Speaking of him… How are things between you two?” Kennedy asks me. “Have you forgiven him?”

“I… I don't know. Since I found out I was pregnant I haven't had time to stop and think about anything else, to be honest. And I am feeling so many things at the same time, and it is all so confusing, that I don't know what is real and what is just caused by my hormones.”

“I know the feeling” she smiles. “So it's best to just focus on the baby and then once he is here… We'll see.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Once he is here, he is gonna get lots of cuddles from his uncle James, that's what he's gonna get. Aren't you, my boy?” Madders says, back to talking to the bump.

“Unless he gets fed up of hearing your voice all the damn time, and starts crying the moment he sees you” Kennedy teases him.

“Love you too, honey” he replies, rolling his eyes and making me feel something weird on my chest. Something similar to what I felt earlier when they took their kids for their nap and Leo gave Madders a kiss and a big hug while telling him that he loved him, or when they were feeding the twins, laughing at their weird faces. 

It could be heartburn, but it could also be… that I'm jealous. I'm jealous of Kennedy and Madders. Of what they have, of the family they've built.

“Liv, are you ok?” Kennedy says.

“Uh?”

“You are crying.”

“Am I?” I say, touching my face.

“Is everything ok? Are you in pain?” Madders asks me with a concerned look.

“No, no, I'm fine. We are fine. I just… hormones” I shrug.

“Are you sure?”

“I'm sure, James. So stop being this cute and worrying about me, or I'll start properly crying.”

“I'm your older brother, Liv. It's my job.”

“Making me cry?” I laugh.

“That too” he smirks. “But mostly taking care of you” he says, hugging me. “I love you very much, little sis.”

“Love you too, big bro” I reply, hugging him back while Kennedy lets out a big “aww” next to us. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“There are so many options.”

“Yep.”

“And everything is so tiny… How is he gonna fit there?” Declan says. 

“How big do you think he's gonna be?” I laugh.

“I don't know… If you are this big already…” he says, looking at my bump.

“He'll fit, Declan. Don't worry. Besides, you are the one who has three nephews and a niece. You should know how big newborns are.”

“I guess I should, yes” he chuckles, taking off his hat and running a hand through his hair, making my heart skip a beat. Yeah… That feeling still is there. “Anyway, do you have anything in mind?”

“Kennedy said something easy to put on and a hat.”

“Something easy and a hat. Noted” he says before starting to look through all the tiny clothes. 

This had been all Declan's idea. He had heard his brothers talk about how special the first outfit the babies wore when they left the hospital was, and he couldn't wait to buy one for our son. Our son… Saying that still doesn't feel real.

“Liv… Liv, hey. Are you listening to me?”

“What?” I say, looking at him.

“Where were you?”

“I…”

“Pregnant brain again?” he says with a teasing smile.

“Yes, exactly, sorry. What did you tell me?”

“I was asking you if you liked this one” he says, showing me a little onesie. 

“I don't like the colour. And he's gonna be born in the summer, that's too thick.”

“Ok… But if he's gonna be born in the summer, won't he get hot wearing a hat?”

“I… Good question.”

“Maybe we should leave this for when they have summery clothes” Declan sighs. 

“Yeah, maybe. But you were so excited about it…”

“It's ok, don't worry.”

“We can buy him something else, tho. Like his first pair of sneakers, for example.”

“That would be cool” he smiles. “Maybe we could match. The three of us could!”

“Yeah, that's… Shit” I say, touching my belly.

“Liv, are you ok? What happened?”

“I… I think…” 

“You think what? Olivia, you are scaring me.”

“Here” I say, taking his hand and putting it on my bump. “I think I felt him move.”

“Wait, what?”

“But now… I don't know. Say that again. The thing about matching.”

“That the three of us should buy matching sneak… Holy shit.”

“Did you feel that?” 

“I did” Declan says, his eyes bigger than I had ever seen them before. 

“I think he doesn't like the idea of us matching” I chuckle.

“Or maybe that's him agreeing with it.”

“Nah…”

“Again! Did you feel that, Liv? He moved again! He…”

“Declan. Declan, hey.”

“Sorry. I'm sorry” he says, wiping away some tears with his free hand, the other still on my bump. “I just… I can't believe I got to feel him move.”

“It was the first time.”

“Really?”

“Yep. I hadn't felt him either. It's like he was waiting for us to be together to do it” I smile.

“Then thank you, little man” he says, kissing my belly. “Liv, why are you crying now?”

“Because you are too cute. Like, you should see your face right now. Your smile. You look so cute, Declan” I sob.

“Ok, come here” he says before hugging me.

“I'm sorry if I sound stupid, it's the hormones” I say while wrapping my arms around his body.

“You don't sound stupid, Liv. At all.”

“I don't think I will survive the day he's born and I get to see you holding him for the first time. Just thinking about it makes me feel so emotional…” I cry. Dear lord, Olivia. What is going on with you? Put yourself together!

“I can't wait for that day either, to be honest. I'll probably cry like a baby too.”

“Oh, great. Instead of the baby crying, it'll be his parents.”

“Yep” Declan laughs, the way his chest moves when he does it making me hug him a bit tighter. 

“I had missed this. Your hugs, feeling you laugh.” Oh… my God. Did I just say that aloud? Yes, I just said that aloud.

“I had also missed it” he says, kissing the top of my head.

After that, we just stay in silence for a while, hugging in the middle of the shop. And it feels as if the summer hadn't happened, as if he hadn't broken my heart. And it is scary as hell.

[iguessitsjustme]

I was tagged by @my-rose-tinted-glasses, @troubled-mind, and @littleragondin and I finally have a chance to do this (cries in introvert forced to be social)

RULES: put 5 songs you actually listen to, then tag 10 people.

I listen to approximately a million songs all of the time. I always have music playing if I'm not working or watching something and I have talked nonstop about many songs already here so I tried to choose songs I haven't mentioned yet.

Laugh About It - Remember Monday

Quite literally been obsessed with this song lately. Also this music video doesn't make me feel gay at all. Nope. Definitely not. I am looking respectfully. Completely. But also I genuinely love the song. These girls have gorgeous harmonies and the whole song is about being petty so of course I love it.

2. Sinner - Leadley

I bet you thought I was gonna put the other Sinner here considering how often I mention it and that I made a video edit using it. But nope. This song is just...a bop. At least for me. There was a time in my life I listened to this at least once a day.

3. She - dodie

This song was probably the catalyst for me to start...questioning things. Anyway it's gorgeous and calming. Actually dodie is one of my favorite artists and I don't mention her nearly enough. I especially like listening to her when I'm traveling because her calming voice and soft melodies help me keep my travel anxiety in check.

4. Pegadito - Tommy Torres

This song scratches my brain perfectly. Also nothing like listening to songs in Spanish to remind me that I need to brush up on my Spanish because I now suck at it and I am very angry at myself for that. But also this song is just...I love it.

5. HAN "외계인 (Alien)

Would I be able to leave Stray Kids off this list? Of course not. I mean, I'm mentioning songs I haven't mentioned before, not bands. Anyway believe it or not, my favorite of their albums is skz-replay and this is just the first song I saw when I was trying to choose. My favorite by Han is actually Wish You Back, but this is a very close second. It hits just right for me. Can't explain it. Also Han is just an extremely talented person and it both baffles me and impresses me. I genuinely believe he might be one of the most talented people on the planet. At least musically. And definitely works very hard for it as well. I'm getting sidetracked.

Tagging @heretherebedork because I told you I was going to and I want to see what 5 songs you end up choosing :P

I am also tagging anyone who has not done this and wants to but maybe hasn't been tagged yet. It's been a minute so I don't remember everyone who's done it and who's been tagged. But if you do this please, please, please, tag me so I can see your song recs. And also potentially scream at you about music.

[theamityelf]

Here I am again with a question about Naeouma, eheh.

What do you think their relationship will be like after the killing game if everything happens in the simulation? I feel like they'll be similar to Oumota, only more... softer on Makoto's side???

I'd really like to hear your thoughts about this. Thanks in advance for the reply :)

Thanks for the ask! 😁

Honestly, I haven't read very much Oumota, but as a broad answer to that question, yes.

Post-game Naeouma would kind of have two aspects to their progression: the progression of their recovery from the killing game, and the progression of their relationship. When Makoto emerges from the simulation, he doesn't really take the time to address his own feelings/trauma all that much; he just gives himself refuge from them by talking to the other survivors, being social, staying positive, looking to the future. (More on that later.)

And in terms of Kokichi's side of things, I think Makoto would be very flexible about both his recovery and his approach to their relationship, but in a way that is also increasingly dedicated to honesty.

Kokichi emerges from the simulation, and I can imagine a lot of different ways for him to be (for example I kind of like the idea of him being pretty restless until he sees Makoto again), but for this I'm going to say he pretty much commits to acting like nothing in there affected him. He treats it like a nap; just sits up, stretches, and says a cavalier hello to everyone who died in there. Whether he died before or after Makoto (and wouldn't "after" be interesting? 👀), whenever he next sees Makoto, he tries to be his normal self about it. Just "Oh, hey, Koneko! You're back! I missed you when you weren't answering my calls, so I guess you have to make it up to me! 😇"

He's not (generally) lashing out at anyone unless he thinks it would help them (because he's concerned about their recovery), but he refuses to unpack what happened in there in anything but the most brutal terms. If someone tries to talk about how something make him feel, he would just insist on giving a factual and graphic account of what happened and a vague or overdramatized reaction. Basically, what they would get from him is either, "Oh, you mean when Kaede broke her neck playing the piano sh!tty and then we all cried?" or "And then he stabbed her and her blood was all over the floorboards and it was so, so yucky and sad. But anyway, next he got executed."

Makoto is pretty permissive about Kokichi's recovery, compared to (how I imagine) Kaito would be. He's not dictating a pace or really telling him what to do at all. Makoto does push Kokichi to be honest with himself about how he feels about things, but he doesn't demand that Kokichi be honest with others about it. So, when Kokichi jokes about things to deflect or cover a genuine emotion, Makoto will often say, "You don't mean that," or "That's not true," but he won't necessarily push for Kokichi to admit that. He'll point to contradictions between what Kokichi says and what he does, and then he'll listen to Kokichi making up unconvincing explanations that paint him as a chessmaster playing a cruel game, not interrupting or arguing, just making an unconvinced face, until Kokichi eventually stops and maybe says a quiet "Fine. So maybe you're right."

Makoto gives him an understanding look, but then Kokichi turns it around on him:

"But what about you?"

"Me? I'm fine."

"That's a lie!"

And then they're talking about Makoto's feelings, and whether he's really facing them.

And as I mentioned earlier, after the killing game and as they continue to grow closer, Makoto starts to ask for more honesty from Kokichi in terms of their relationship. He still plays along with the consensual lies about anniversaries and such, but he starts challenging him more.

Maybe Makoto is chatting with Rantaro and Kokichi pops in and says something like, "You're not ready yet?"

"Huh? Ready for what?"

"Don't you remember? I asked you to dinner tonight!" (Naturally, no he didn't.)

And Makoto smiles but replies, "No, I don't remember. Guess you'll have to ask me again."

And Kokichi has to actually settle down and ask him out normally.

[seeingivy]

method acting asks + extra headcanons!!! (don't read if you haven't read the final chapter yet!!)

MAYA AND MARCO HEADCANONS I SHALL DELIVER

marco and maya are twins and born on new year's day 💌

in the first met gala chapter, when y/n performs seven with marco, she calls marco her sunshine boy - which is actually what eren and y/n call baby marco too!!!!

maya is a little bit more shy and sensitive and eren calls her star girl, which he says is perfect because he then calls baby marco, maya, and y/n his little universe bc they're the sun, the moon, and the stars 🥹 (he's literally a sap)

eren is SUCHHHH a girl dad like he literally practices braiding hair on y/n before the baby comes just so he can be a pro at it (and gets really annoyed when her hair grows super slow)

teddy LOVESSSS marco and maya sm like those are literally his pseudo-baby siblings and he loves them just as much as lily

they let their kids decide if they want to do acting/singing - and they both end up doing it! marco ends up being an actor and maya ends up being a singer (kinda like their parents hehe)

levi CRIES over the names AND when he holds them the first time.

maya has a crush on connie the way teddy had a crush on y/n. eren HATES it btw.

jeankasa's second kid is born around the same time as them and when they get a little older, jean tells eren to keep his "cooties infested son" away from his second daughter

(jeankasa kids are all girls btw like I don't make the rules)

@elliesbabygirl

THIS IS ONE OF THE SWEETEST, MOST CRAZY, MOST PERFECT ASKS I'VE EVER RECEIVED IN MY LIFE!!!! i'm so flattered that you said all of these sweet words, and truly being chronically online has somehow brought this insane piece of work to all of us, and honestly it makes me all the happier for it!!!!

like not to be a miss fan account girl, but I love celebrities I think they're so silly, I think celebrity drama is insane, and I am very cLEARLY obsessed with olivia rodrigo that this just kind of came out of that.

I wish there was a triple threat award I could give YOU for all the love you've given ME. while some of your asks did get eaten by how annoying tumblr is, the ones I did receive were always so like...well thought out and fully expressive about each little detail that i'd put into like....my 13k damn chapters...like it takes time and dedication to show love to writers - which mind you, most people don't and really makes it all the more special that you do!

I literally just do this for free, in my own time when I get a chance out of how busy I tend to be outside of this. i'm a walking stressball at most times bc I have like two jobs, a bunch of volunteering and EC's outside of that and getting sweet comments like this makes this feel all the more worth it and like im reaching peopel AGH

I love you so much!

not to be a disappointer but:

she doesn't! she actually doesn't win any more awards from the institute for her albums, but wins TONS of other smaller award shows and breaks records all the time

she gets information about it after birds of a feather doesn't win anything or even get nominated, and while she's initially irritated, she just decides that she's not going to submit to have them bc nominated anymore if they're not going to get nominated since she's blacklisted anyways

eren writes a very threatening letter ofc

^^historia gets KIND OF annoyed about her not submitting anymoer, bc like I said, she's kind of meant to be a foil to y/n in the sense that she's y/n if y/n was still obsessed and cared about this stuff too much - and she thinks y/n is kind of being pretentious by not nominating herself

she actually doesn't care after some point bc she literally breaks records all the time and knows that it's just some type of thing that they're holding against her

(eren + marco + maya always tell her that she's a triple threat in their hearts)

I literally had to put this in two screenshots bc @najaemism left me a literal ESSAY OF SWEET STUFF ABOUT THIS FIC and it kind of makes my heart hurt.

first of all, to my name twin - I LOVE YOU SOOOOOO SO MUCH WTF. first and foresmost, so glad that you've joined the dark side by watching aot bc lord it is literally one of the most painful shows i've watched and (clearly) I haven't stopped thinking about it since I finished it. i'm so flatted that some silly little words I wrote convinced you to watch four whole damn seasons of the show 😭 LIKE thats actually insane to me

THE TWEETS (while they're so time consuming to make) LITERALLYYYY ARE ONE OF MY FAVORITE PARTS OF THIS FIC like I love to make the dumbest jokes on there for my fellow chronically online siblings bc its literally so fucking funny to me. connie truly meeting his soulmate on stan twitter - bc of course he would - and the most insane anime villian oikawa making an appearance, bc duh, of course he would

(he was never a big fan of y/ns music but his girlfriend was so he decided to give it a try and now he's obsessed with her.)

(side note ymir and sofia are literally taylor lautner and taylor lautner. like girl taylor being a fan of twilight and taylor swift when she was younger just to date the guy from twilight when she's older and be besties w y/n??? that's LITERALLY SOFIA bc sofia loved aot when she was a kid, and was in one of the old chapters - I think new year's day - and then grew up to literally date someone from aot like that's mrs. taylor lautner of method acting)

they literally rot my brain and take up like 50% of my cortex bc I think about them all the time to the point where it's ACTUALLLYYY unhealthy like

I'm so glad you're here!!! i've got some fun things planned hehe <3

correct.

like I shit myself too I can't believe i've been writing this shit since july. like this is the definition of out of hand this was literally supposed to be a request for someone and 280k words later we're all here feeling all types of ways about it

AND AGH!!!! not the roommates fans like why are you guys kind of the ogs THANK YOU SM FOR BEING HERE!!

fun fact: eren and y/ns cat in the last chapter of method acting has the same name as the cat from roommates! <3

y/n does in fact get her new ring with an emerald in it. eren is annoyed he didn't think of it earlier bc its actually perfect

eren, in general, gets really into jewelry after he custom designed the saturn necklace for her during the second met gala so he always gets her really unique pieces

they do have the kids! I gave marco and maya headcanons at the top of the post <3

I love you @tangerine-neonlight <3

@feelya THANK YOU SO MUCH - BOTH FOR YOUR SWEET WORDS AND YOUR CURIOSITY <3 i'm so glad you enjoyed the silly little words I wrote about literally the best boy ever eren jaeger I love you sooooo soo much <3

[lascapigliata]

.

wasted all my time in therapy talking about how bad i am at therapy then did my stupid yoga class and cried at the end bc like an idiot i was like trying to Connect To My Body, awful idea, remembered to take my stupid New meds because i fucked myself up by being so noncompliant, then managed to get a little work done, and just as i was thinking maybe i'll actually go to sleep early or something i saw another FUCKING BUG one of those house centipedes that i KNOW are pretty isolated i KNOW only feed on other bugs i KNOW won't hurt me and it doesn't matter at all bc i kill everything and so now it's dead but it was on the door to my laundry machine and then crawled to thE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR so i opened it and killed it but like idk why it never occurred to me that things could cross that door!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have to do laundry tomorrow, how am i going to go in there????

i have always said that when i'm not otherwise depressed the phobia is the worst thing for my SI and here we go again. i don't see a way out of this. if one (1) incident with ants can send me into such a spiral that i'm literally acting like i did back in boston at my worst and forcing myself to stay awake and being too afraid to go in my room because i think there must be bugs there because i haven't been there in a few days like what was the point of any of this and what IS the point of any of this. NOT ONLY do i feel like there's no escape here but i also wasted a year and a half and tons of money and time and everything just to sink back into one of the more humiliating times of my life. i don't want to say i want to die but like i do i can't keep doing This and i don't want to do yet more exposure therapy i did SOmu ch and i worked SO hard even if it was all, apparently, a total waste

and i just have no idea how i'm going to sleep tonight, anywhere. here or in my bed. like i just want to procrastinate sleeping, which has been part of the problem this whole time, bc i'm scared of nightmares et al and if i just force myself to stay awake then i'll pass out at 5 and be really tired and hopefully jsut not dream, which is a decent method except it probably is exacerbating the anxiety and this is what i mean it's just a cycle

and this is something that i should be putting in my jounral anyway bc i keep saying to post this super personal stuff here less so i don't add the layer of needing validation to these breakdowns but something about the idea of writing this down feels even more humiliating somehow probably bc i WON'T get any validation except like, i know if i press post and like two (wonderful, i appreciate you) people like it it won't feel satisfying either bc the ONLy thing that will just feels like having this NOT HAPPEN IN THE FIRST PLACE and i don't know how to do that because I THOUGHT I ALREADY DID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[a-crumb-of-whump]

A New Beginning #14: Adoration

Masterlist | AO3

Content: Vamprie whumpee, recovery, multiple caretakers, human caretaker, PTSD/trauma, meltdown/panic attack, [implied] self harm (for the sake of food), blood (once again, for the sake of food), fear of being alone.

I am exhausted and haven't actually proof read this or anything, but i promised myself i'd post something before i fell asleep LOL.

-

It was only a few days after the gathering they’d had that Carlos heard from his new friend again. He hadn’t really thought much of it at first - Ryker was often getting calls from his employees and other important people that Carlos had never met, so it came as a surprise when the human called him into the living room and held out the phone to him with a polite smile. 

“Hey, man,” he greeted, already beginning to get out of his seat to make room for the vampire to sit down instead. “Charlie’s on the phone. Said he wanted to see how you were going. Would you like to sit down and talk to him while I get your breakfast ready?” 

Did he? What kind of question was that? 

“Yes please!” he chirped, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet as he took the phone from his human’s hand and sat down on the couch Ryker had just been sitting in. It was still warm, and he found himself snuggling further into the seat as he greeted the other human on the phone. “Good morning!” 

“Good morning to you, too,” Charlie spoke warmly. He still sounded a little groggy, like he hadn’t been awake for long, but Carlos could still hear the faint smile on his face regardless. “You’re sounding rather chipper. How’ve you been?” 

The vampire brought his knees to his chest and began to fiddle with the fabric of his pyjama bottoms as he talked. “I have been well, I think! I’m a little restless today, but Ryker said I just need some mental stimulation. So, he’s gonna set up some stuff for us to do later on.” Then he jumped all of a sudden, feeling as if he’d already forgotten his own manners. “Uhm- and how are you, Charlie?” 

“I’m okay, thank you for asking.” The tone in Charlie’s voice hadn’t shifted, instead remaining light and friendly, despite the fact that he clearly wasn’t all that awake just yet. “I have work today, unfortunately, hence why I’m awake so early. Though, I was actually thinking about dropping by for an hour afterwards, if that’s okay with you?”

Carlos found himself mildly confused. Why was he asking for permission from him to come and see Ryker and Adam? Were they even going to be around today? He thought he recalled the two of them informing him that they wouldn’t be around all that much this week. Had they not told Charlie?

“Uhm…” The vampire didn’t even really know how to answer. “Y-yes?”

Thankfully for him, Charlie seemed to catch on to his confusion pretty quickly. “You sound a little unsure? What’s on your mind?”

“...I guess I don’t really understand why you’re asking for my permission to come visit Adam and Ryker?”

He blinked cluelessly at the sound of Charlie’s light laugh. He didn’t think he’d said anything funny. Did Charlie not realise he was being serious? Though his cheeks flushed red at the embarrassment of being laughed at, he chose not to say anything else.

“You sweet thing. I meant I wanted to come see you. They’re both out this afternoon anyway, aren’t they? I think Ryker said their work schedules are pretty similar this week.”

Oh. It made sense now. However… it also didn’t. 

“You- you want to see me?” the vampire tilted his head. His fingers clutched the phone a little tighter as his heartbeat picked up a bit. This was so exciting. “Really? I- I’m not very good at talking to other people. People, uhm… they scare me.” 

“They scare me, too, buddy. You’re all good. Look, we can give it a miss today if you want? I’m happy to wait until a time where you’re feeling more comfy or one of the guys is around. I totally get it.” 

Carlos could have sworn he felt his heart stop for a moment. 

“No!” he practically cried, leaning forward in his seat as if it could possibly make his point any clearer. He had a death grip on the phone pressed to his ear while his other shaking hand dug Its nails into the leather that made up the couch. “N-no, please, I’ve only ever had two friends in my life. I love them so- so much b-but I don’t wanna be alone anymore. I want friends s-so much. Please come over? Please? I can make some human food for you if you’d like! I swear, I’ll do whatever you want!”

He knew he was being downright pathetic. He knew there was a good chance he was actively scaring his potential new friend away with his intensity, and yet he would have thrown himself onto his knees and begged like that if he were in front of him in that moment. 

Having heard his frantic voice, Ryker was by his side in an instant; resting a hand on his knee while the other arm held a paper towel to the cut on his arm. He’d clearly been in the middle of draining Carlos’ morning breakfast into a cup, and that only made Carlos feel all the worse. 

What is wrong with me? Why am I like this? Those same two questions repeated in his head over and over again.

“Carlos, you’re all good, man. It was just a suggestion,” Charlie was quick to reassure him. Nonetheless, Carlos could still feel the weight of his own panic creeping up on him, threatening to slowly push him into suffocation as if something was holding him against the wall by his throat. “It’s okay. I’ll come visit you this afternoon, then, yeah? Just like I suggested before. No one’s leaving y’alone.”

“I’m so-orry,” the vampire quietly hiccupped into his sleeve. “I’m sorry… I’m…” Behaving like a fucking toddler? Yeah, you are. 

He silently scowled at the voice in his head. It was so loud and so mean. Why couldn’t it just be nice to him? Why did it have to point out all his flaws and mock him as if he didn’t already know they were there? He was trying so hard to like himself just that little bit more. It was so hard…

Ryker squeezed his leg, seemingly trying to draw his attention away from whatever was bothering him. The vampire immediately glanced down at him distractedly, still holding onto the phone so tight his hands were shaking. 

“Sir?” he quietly whimpered. “I’m… I need… need…” He didn’t know what he needed. Didn’t know how to put how he was feeling into words because he’d never had to think about it before. Feelings didn’t matter. Hell, he hardly mattered. 

He guessed it was different now, wasn’t it? 

“I- I di’nt mean t’pressure you,” the vampire whispered in between more hiccups. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry… I told you I can’t speak to people…”

He was so grateful that Charlie had stayed on the line with him all throughout his little meltdown. Hearing his voice, knowing that he was still there only caused him to cry even more. 

“No, no, you’re doing good, man. I’ve been there before, yeah? I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve struggled to find the right words or lost friends because I’ve said insensitive things without realising. Though, I’ve learnt that the more you do it, the easier it gets. So, what if we practiced together this afternoon?” 

“You- you still wanna come over?” The vampire nearly couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He glanced down at Ryker who was still kneeling by his legs, and the human gave him a comforting smile that silently assured him it was real. “You’ll be my friend?” 

There was another laugh. “Any friend of Adam and Ryker’s is a friend of mine. Look, I gotta finish my coffee and get ready for work but I’ll message Ryker with a time and you can expect to see me then, alright?” 

Carlos sheepishly wiped at his wet eyes, accidentally pricking his bottom lip with his fang as he bit it. “You mean it? You’ll really come?”

“Yeah, man. I promise. See you then?”

“O-okay.” Carlos nodded, somewhat more confidently this time. “Yeah. I will- uhm, see you then?” 

Ryker grinned the moment Carlos had hung up the phone. He took the phone from him and placed it down on the floor before taking his hand into both his own to squeeze it reassuringly. 

“You did it!” he exclaimed, the loud sound of his excited voice causing Carlos to jump a little. “I’m so proud of you for persisting!” 

“Tha-ank you?” He couldn’t tell if the human was being sarcastic or not. “I… I embarrassed myself, didn’t I, sir? I didn’t mean to…” 

Reaching up, Ryker affectionately ruffled the vampire’s growing hair with a smile. “Not at all. You’re doing well. I know Charlie very well - he’s one of my oldest friends, and there’s no one I’d trust more with someone I love than him.” 

That caused Carlos to look up from his lap. The wording was not lost on him, however clueless he usually found himself being. A small smile curved on his lips despite the wetness in his eyes, and he leaned forward to press his forehead to Ryker’s for just a moment; savouring the closeness between them before Ryker had to leave again. It was the only way he knew how to express his gratitude for him in that moment. Words were hard and he just did not have the strength to speak them anymore. 

He could only hope that Ryker understood the meaning behind his simple gesture. Otherwise, he’d be sure to find the words for it later. 

He needed Ryker to know how much he loved him, too. 

-

Carlos spent the entire day watching the clock on the wall and cleaning vigorously before his friend arrived. He’d made what Ryker had said earlier in the morning were his favourite sweets - cookies, cupcakes and a few store bought foods as well. Adam was even kind enough to do his makeup again and help him pick out an outfit for what must have been his very first visit from a friend ever. His friend, no less. Someone who was here for him, not his owners or the people around him. He wanted everything to be perfect. Wanted to prove that he could be a good friend to people, not just some dumb pet for them to take their anger out on.

He could do this. He could do this. He could do this.

When Charlie finally arrived at the designated time - right on time, might Carlos add - he had to let himself in, given the sun was looming right outside, threatening to attack the vampire if he so much as stepped an inch into the light. 

However, the second he had closed the front door, Carlos was already by Its side with his plate of cupcakes in his hand and a warm, excited smile on his face. “Thank you so much for coming,” he chirped as he held out said plate towards the human. “I made- uhm, your favourite cupcakes! Ryker gave me the recipe and helped me find all the ingredients for it. I hope you like them!” 

“He did, did he?” the human grinned as it slipped off Its shoes and placed Its bag down by the shoe rack. It leaned over to examine them before carefully taking one off the plate to bite into. “Boy knows me so well. These are excellent, Carlos.”

Carlos couldn’t help but feel amused at the way he spoke with his mouth stuffed with food. It reminded him so much of Adam. 

“Thank you! I worked very hard on them. Uhm, would you like to sit?” he asked, motioning to the living room where all the furniture was. “It’s just you and me this time, so… so you don’t have to sit on the floor. If- if you don’t want to, of course. Sir- I mean, Ryker said you might prefer the floor over the couch? I do sometimes, too.” 

The human shrugged. “The floor feels less formal, but I’m happy wherever. You’re looking wonderful today, might I add. Did Adam do your makeup for you?” 

“He did!” Carlos nodded, desperately trying to ignore the furious blush on his face as he plonked himself down on the couch and pulled his knees up to his chest for Charlie to sit down as well. As he did so, the human took another cupcake off the plate and began to eat that one, too. He likes them, Carlos realised with a giddy smile. “He purchased a practice makeup kit for me to use when he’s not around, but I’m not very good at it yet. I aim to get better, though.” 

“It’s a fun thing to learn. Can’t say I’m all that into it myself, but I see what It’s done for Adam. He loves it.”

It got Carlos wondering. “Well, what sort of things are you into, then? You said we could, uhm… pr-practice talking? So… is that a good start? You didn’t tell me all that much about yourself at the gathering…”

“Yeah, I guess I didn’t, did I?” Charlie offered him another smile as he shifted himself into the same position Carlos was in, but on the opposite side of the couch so they were facing each other. “Like I said, I suck at talking to people, too. I’m awkward and blunt and suck at reading body language and social cues. A lot of people don’t really like that. So… I tend to keep my distance. Keeps me safer, y’know?” 

Yes. Carlos knew exactly what it was talking about. 

“So… It’s not a vampire thing?” he asked quietly with a small tilt to his head. “That happens to me a lot, but I always thought I was just not smart enough to understand them, or- or that’s just how they treated vampires. Humans treat other humans that way as well?” 

He was saddened to see the human nod. “Unfortunately so.”

“That’s so sad.” 

Charlie shrugged. “I guess so. I have my little group of people who love and understand me regardless, so I don’t concern myself all that much with what the rest of the world thinks of me.” 

Carlos admired that. He cared far too much about what everyone else, particularly humans, thought of him. It was ingrained into his brain that his purpose was to please them, therefore he had to care, right? If there was one thing all the humans he’d lived with agreed on, it was that. 

“—but hey, fuck the rest of the world, right? Let’s talk about me.”

It surprised the vampire to hear himself laugh at the human’s rather vulgar language. 

“Yes!” he agreed, and the both of them eagerly leaned forward with their arms still tucked in their laps as if they were two gossiping school children. “Tell me everything there is to know.”

-

It turns out, the two had a lot more in common with each other than they thought. Charlie happened to be right into his digital art - something Carlos had no idea even existed until then - along with cooking and movies. He also mentioned that he loved the dark - that there was something calming and peaceful about it in a way that the day just couldn’t bring. He said that he often went on night walks along the beach when he couldn’t sleep, or relaxed under the stars in his backyard with a picnic blanket beneath him. 

It all sounded infatuatingly wonderful to Carlos. He didn’t feel safe enough to go outside anymore. Not without another person there to keep him company, but the idea of it made him more than a little giddy. He hoped there would come a time where he could enjoy the stars and the dark again, just like he had as a child. 

The human also came to mention that he was a collector of sorts, too. He had a collection of rocks and leaves he found fascinating sitting on his coffee table for people to admire when they came over, along with the more “common” stuff, like Pokemon cards and little figurines. He’d apparently been collecting for years - ever since he was a child, and had plenty to show for it. 

Within just a few hours, Carlos had grown to adore this human so much it hurt. It was living, breathing proof that there were other people just like Carlos. That he wasn’t alone, even if many people had tried to convince him otherwise. 

—and as the human prepared to leave again rather late in the afternoon, Carlos hugged him tighter than he ever thought he’d be able to grip someone, fingers digging into his back and his head buried against Charlie’s shoulder. He was grateful that it didn’t seem to mind, and instead held him just as tight. 

“Please come back sometime,” he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut out of sheer desperation. “Please. You’re… you’re like me. I like you so much!” 

There was, once again, a laugh as Charlie stood with him in the doorway. He could hear and feel Adam and Ryker’s presence behind him, presumably moving things around and giving the place a quick clean after their day at work, but he didn’t care. Not right now.

 “I like you so much, too! I’ll be back very soon, man. Promise.”

Carlos couldn't help the grin that spread across his face as he hid it against the human's shoulder even more.

It was official. 

After ninety years of living on this god forsaken earth, Carlos Emrick had finally made a friend outside of Ryker and Adam.

He cried out of pure joy as he told his humans about his day that evening. It was easily on his list of best days ever, right underneath the day he met Ryker and the night he finally got to move in with him.

-

@alexkolax @emcscared-whumps @espresso-depresso-system @inkkswhumpandstuff @pigeonwhumps @pumpkin-spice-whump @roblingoblin285 @sacredwrath @stabby-nunchucks @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @trans-writes @whump-blog @whumpsday @whumpshaped @whump-things @whumpycries @why-not-ask-me-a-better-question @thekittyburger @choppedflowermuffinchild

[cannibal-wings]

WIP Wednesday For You Pay the Cost I'm currently working on the Méndez boss fight. Here are two little snippets from it. This is probably the most rough I've ever posted. Usually my WIP Wednesday stuff has gone through a bit of editing, but these chunks haven't. They're as close to raw as they can get. Currently the fight is at 3K words, and I'm expecting another 2K at least, since I haven't even hit phase two yet. Anyways, enjoy! I'm off to work. (Update might not be next week, with the holidays this weekend, and I'm hosting, claiming my days off, my time to write will be limited. I wouldn't be surprised if the update drops late next week or early the week after)

1.

“Be careful,” Ashley said behind him. It was clear that she had picked up on his unease as well.

“I always am,” he said but that didn’t seem to have the effect he wanted. He supposed his arm in a sling was proof enough that just being careful wasn’t all he needed to do. The movement to Leon’s right was so sudden and explosive that he hardly had time to turn his head. His body was hit, hard, enough to throw him against the side rail and snap it. The momentum carried him across the open space and he hit the concrete floor below with force. Leon would have cried out in pain if the wind hadn’t been kicked from his lungs.

He rolled several times before he came to a stop face down. He lay there motionless, trying to force his lungs to remember how to breathe. His eyes were watering and his vision was white with pain. Finally, he drew a gasp, then another, like a fish out of water. Something off to his right hit the floor as well, it was heavy, and gave no cry of pain. It wasn’t Ashley. Leon pulled his good arm up underneath him and pushed. Slowly he got himself to his knees and looked over. It was Méndez. He turned so he was facing him, his whole body was still shaking with pain. When he looked up at the where he was, he saw a hole had been busted through the wooden wall. That man wasn’t human, that was for certain. There was no way someone could ram him through a solid wood wall with enough force to break metal and likely bone. Leon carefully felt around his ribs but he couldn’t tell if the pain there was from the giant fight, the bull man’s hammer, or the various other times he had been thrown around today.

Méndez started to walk towards him, slowly, in a manner not unlike something that had cornered its prey. “Little Protector, you have forced my hand.”

Leon was still struggling to process his own bodies movements; words were lost on him. But he heard Ashley call out from above, she was still near the walkway. “Leon! Oh my god, are you ok?”

At the sound of her voice Méndez turned to look at her. “I feel I must apologize, for what I am about to do to your Protector.” At that Leon shook his head and reached for his SG. He was able to get two good shots off. The first one hit Méndez in the back, he turned to look over at Leon and the second caught his chest. Fatal shots to someone who was human. “Cease your pointless struggling. Your body has already begun the change, abandon who you were and accept the will of our God.”

“You’re a shitty missionary you know that?” Leon managed to say between gasps of air. Méndez reached down to pick up his hat, it had fallen when he rammed into Leon from above.

Mendez began his approach again. “Lord Saddler wants you alive. But I think he’s making a mistake. You now share our blood, you have been bestowed our gifts, but you fight us every step of the way. You are unwilling and unworthy, and for that I must destroy you. Surely our Lord shall understand, and the Lady will be provided with a new Protector, one who understands its place.”

Leon didn’t like the sound of that. He shot three more times. It didn’t look like Méndez felt a single one. Leon might as well have been shooting him with BBs. “Oh almighty! Grant me the strength to fix your mistake!”

“Son of a bitch,” Leon muttered under his breath. He was going to have to fight, and the odds were looking less in his favor than normal. He quickly scanned the room for anything he could use to his advantage. This was a meat processing house after all, there had to be something he could use. He spotted a machine, a hoist, for hauling the carcasses up onto the tables, it looked like it was gas powered. Sure enough, there were barrels not too far away labeled “fuel”. Leon forced himself to his feet and shouted up at the walkway, “Ashley! Run!”

“Ok!” Her voice seemed hesitant, but her actions weren’t. With one last look down at Leon she sprinted for the stairs that led to the door to the outside.

Once he saw her orange jacket vanish through the door, he kicked the barrel over and shoved it towards Méndez. It started its roll towards the man and Leon didn’t have time to come up with anything clever to say besides, “Hasta luego!” He shot and the barrel exploded upon impact.

That wasn’t the only barrel of fuel, Leon didn’t notice that others had been stored nearby until he heard them go off. Four more loud bangs sounded off, followed by intense flames and clouds of thick, dark smoke. Another set of explosions pounded in from the opposite side, gasoline splattering the walls and pillars of the room. Everything was quickly caught in an intense blaze. Leon shielded his face with his good arm until the explosions ceased. When he lowered it he couldn’t see what was left of Méndez through the thick smoke. His next move was to try to find his own way out.

He looked behind him but there wasn’t a door, just a staircase to another walkway. The only door seemed to be behind the wall of fire he had just created. “Great,” Leon muttered. He solved one problem with another. He would have to run through the fire to get out. Not ideal. It could very well kill him. He gathered himself and started to move towards the fire when something stopped him, a chill ran down his spine despite the heat. Something else was moving in the haze of the flames.

Leon could hear a snapping sound, like breaking branches, followed by the wet sound of meat being torn apart. Again, that sound hit his ears, then he recognized it, bone snapping. It cracked and popped, blending in with the wood that was burning all around them. Through the fire he could see something twitching, then jerking upwards. With each pop it grew taller and it swayed back and forth on what Leon could only assume were legs. Then the whole figure turned towards Leon and began to advance towards him.

Méndez stepped into view. His upper body had become separated from his lower half. It sat on an elongated, exposed spine. Each set of vertebrae now sported sharp insectoid legs that wiggled independently from each other. It reminded him of a centipede. Leon took a step back, then another. “The fuck?” Méndez grew closer still, he didn’t seem disturbed by his body’s sudden mutation.

“God, I thank you for your gift,” Méndez said as he calmly strode towards Leon. Two bulbus growths on his back burst at once, spraying fluid as his body lurched and rolled. Two more appendages sprang out of his back, insectoid again, long, thick, with five joints. Corse hair and spines glinted fresh in the firelight. The tips were curved and sharp. No doubt they were designed to pierce. The limbs were dragging on the floor as Méndez gathered himself, strong spine pulling his upper body and the new arms back up to their full height.

Leon was already backing up. His claws and carapace suddenly seemed a lot less threatening. He spread his mandibles wide and hissed before he said, “You wanna get ugly? Let’s get ugly!” Bold words from a frightened man.

Méndez once more didn’t seem impressed by his threat display or the words that followed. He simply laughed and said, “I knew God would see my side, I knew he would agree with me. You will not live to regret your choice to turn your back on us. Now, behold the miracle!”

2.

Méndez seemed to be getting frustrated. He lashed out more desperately than before. The erratic movements were harder to predict, harder to dodge and Leon caught one to the side that flung him against the wall. The air wasn’t knocked from his lungs this time and he recovered quickly. He quickly shot a few times to distract the monster as he fully got back to his feet. Sweat was running down his back, or at least, Leon hoped it was sweat. He wiped his face, somehow the carapace on his hand was cool despite the heat around him.

“We share the same blood,” Méndez said as he turned to make his way over to where he had tossed Leon, “why do you resist?”

“I’m not answering that, there’s nothing I could say to a man who’s lost himself.” Leon shot again, this time more bullets hit than missed. He was getting more confident and comfortable aiming one handed. “I don’t share your blood either,” Leon spat. He could feel Méndez’s gaze on him. “D-Don’t look at me! I’m not like you, I’ll never be like you! Some sort of monster!” He flared his jaws and said, “You freaks can mess my face up, change my legs, my arms, I don’t care! I won’t be like you, it won’t work.”

“And that, Little Protector, is why I’ve decided to exterminate you.” In a movement faster than what Leon could see, Méndez swiped and caught Leon off balance. He moved in and grabbed the other man with his human hands. He had long, sharp, talons that didn’t struggle in piercing between Leon’s neck plates. He squirmed and struggled in his grasp. “To think you could be this foolish, to reject a gift as wonderful as this!”

Leon looked at Méndez, if there was a good man in there, he was lost now. That Leon was certain of. He couldn’t reach his knife with his injured arm, nor could he get it with his free hand. He kicked out and slashed at Méndez’s chest with his feet claws. The pressure on his neck tightened and he hissed in pain not intimidation. His heart was beating faster now, he needed a way out and fast. He tried again with the claws on his feet. He managed to rake them across his chest but despite digging in deep Méndez didn’t let go. He moved his hand with the SG just enough to line up with Méndez’s leg. He closed his eyes and prayed he didn’t miss. He squeezed the trigger and shot three times, his knee buckled and Leon felt himself drop to the floor.

He landed and scooted back as Méndez fell against the upper walkway. He roared and looked over at him. Leon felt a chill run through him. Those insect arms were a lot longer than they appeared. Mendez flung them out and they came crashing down on him like trees. There wasn’t any space to dodge, his back was against the wall, he had cornered himself again.

Leon didn’t even have time to swear. He raised his good arm and closed his eyes. Ready to hear the crack of carapace and then nothing as he was crushed under the weight of Méndez’s arms. The searing pain was just what Leon expected, only it hadn’t come from his arm, but his sides. Both sides of his body flashed hot with pain, just below his ribcage, as something split his skin and burst forth from his body.

Leon dropped to one knee and cried out. He wasn’t dead, but he sure felt he should be. His body spasmed. His brain was registering resistance on what felt like an arm, but not the arm he was used to. Through watering eyes, he looked up and saw limbs he didn’t recognize. They were holding off Méndez’s claw, which was far too close to his face for his own comfort.

Leon knew they were his immediately. He didn’t even have to look to see where they were connected, he just knew. He had two more arms now, and they were in the process of saving his life. His body shuddered and the new limbs crawled further from his body. With each push they grew longer and stronger. Leon watched as a hand formed at the end of each one. The fingers that unraveled looked like a human’s for a brief moment, before the pointer and middle fingers fused into a long blade like claw. He pushed back hard against Méndez and was surprised to find the monster giving ground to him.

Leon screamed as his body gave one last push and the arms fully extended out of his body. He stood and shoved the limb off and ducked to the side. He took a brief moment to catch his breath and look at the two new arms by his side. They were thin, more like insect limbs than human, but they had the correct number of human joints, a clear shoulder, or pivot point against his body, then an elbow and wrist. The hands weren’t human anymore, but they did have three fingers. That, Leon decided, was enough to hold a shotgun with.

Blood and fluid leaked down Leon’s sides from spot where the new limbs had burst forth, but already the pain was dulling. That healing factor was kicking in again. Leon holstered his handgun and moved for the shotgun. Sure enough, the new arm responded just like his old, injured one. It found its place on the front of the shotgun, the long blade like claw was easy to rest the gun against and the remaining fingers held it in place.

He moved in on Méndez, firing as he walked. The Merchant hadn’t been kidding, this gun packed a hell of a punch, but he hardly felt it against his shoulder. He fired three shots in rapid succession into the spine and Méndez finally howled in pain. He curled in on himself, human arms wrapping around his exposed spine. When he looked at Leon there was pure hatred burning in his eye. “Why? Why has God given you, a heretic, a gift? Have I been betrayed? Was my judgment not true?” Leon didn’t have the answers that the monster needed. He just shot again and again, pumping him full of lead. Méndez swept out again with the long piercing limb. This time Leon jumped on top of it, his dexterous toes wrapping around the limb and he followed the swing as it moved him closer to the upper walkway. He pushed off and jumped to the upper floor in one smooth movement. This time when he spread his jaws and hissed Méndez flinched. “Maybe it’s time to take this “Little Protector” seriously!”

[yourlocalstranger123]

I've seen people running out of ideas so I'm here! :D

You can adjust some things

Also note: I am very into a sub character...sorry if you didn't like it, you can adjust it though!

Warning: smut, and as you can see, I pick favorites....sorry (as favorites I meant fandom, not characters since I cannot decide and it's worser since I like hot women and hot men. Well...i like men more although i still think womens are seriously hot)

Advance apologies; sorry if the ideas are actually similar to others. Since there is a lot and there's probably some out there that's similar

Genshin;

(Fluff angst) a bit of yandere Zhongli. Zhongli as in his younger ages, you being an unknown outlander (or maybe a God from another world 🤯) companying him. He enjoys your company until one day when his beloved friends, etc. Dies, you disappear. He cried and cried. He's different from the Zhongli we know....he's calm, collected, etc. but the only difference is that he's cold. No emotion until he felt your presence once again, he looked around wondering where you were. He saw you....he broke down in tears as you cup his head with your hands, soothing him. He accidentally went to his human dragon form. You didn't mind, you pat his head and kissed his forehead. He wagged his tail like a dog, as you try to let go his grip tightens and his tail wraps around you. He finally felt your warmth once again. He's not gonna let go now.

Smut; dottore (Dom reader) he is also at his young age, he found you. Although he thought you were gonna annoy him, your presence felt....nice. of course he's never gonna admit that just yet—....... later when he becomes a harbinger, he felt uncomfortable though 'what is this feeling?' He began being desperate for you, you were nowhere to be found. That made him go even more mad, he didn't even bother about his experiments! Until you sighed up to be an assistant for everyone that needs help, that even angered him more, you were supposed to be his! He began to hog you more but the other noticed and they took a liking to you they love you and became jealous that you give him more attention to them! ( this could be a whole series or something )

Sagau; shy reader! (Reader is also smart as heck-) You get isekai to genshin, you seem to be summoned since there was a summoning sign, etc. They felt so happy! They found out you were shy, they didn't mind. They thought it was cute! Some are definitely gonna tease you. You were also really smart, you helped tignari with his plants telling him what's wrong with it because the plant wouldn't grow. You told albedo/dottore the mistakes they made, you also made them really strong when you weren't isekai to genshin and they are very happy with it. This one time, you were so serious and hot when they saw you pin down someone that was sneak attacking you/them. Although they were suprised...maybe even turned on— I mean *cough* *cough* who wouldn't? the person being pinned is very flustered of how hot you are. Your people perhaps are jealous and want to be pinned down by you like that.

Diluc; being quite very shy around you and poor little you thought he didn't like you :( you began being frustrated so you pin him against the wall and asked him why is he avoiding you with a sad frown. Although...you felt something poking you (the rest for you to do 🥲)

Obey me;

(Oblivious dom reader) Lucifer is becoming impatient with you. You haven't even made a single move! You guys been dating for half a year by now! He sure he sent obvious signs like bending down infront of you to get his pen that he 'accidentally' dropped. His pride is about to break down because he thinks he isn't attractive enough to turn you on! When you went into the shared bed, he broke down on his knees. Begging you. Just what are you gonna do?

All; everyone was there. Even the angels and lucifer enemy! But anyways they found out you were a royal and everyone was oh so curious. The moment you were summoned you were still wearing a robe (inspired by my summoning gone wrong)

Of course these two are my main post since I haven't yet post any other stuff either has anyone asked me to post something else. Of course your welcomed to when my request are open :D

[musette22]

Hello! Sorry for popping in with this random message but I need to vent somewhere and it was always your place that I used to go to. It’s been long, maybe over three years, since I’ve ventured down the stucky-rabbit hole but I was just going on about my day as usual when my brain decided to remind me of the line “but I loved you first”.

Naturally, I had to sit down and stare into a wall for a bit, and once I got home I started rereading Not Easily Conquered. Now, when I was in the fandom I was an avid re-reader of my favorite fics, getting at least five or six reads before I was satisfied (sometimes a LOT more). I’d almost learn entire paragraphs through and through. With NEC, however, I simply couldn’t do more than one reading. It was too emotionally charged, for one, and I also didn’t want to “tarnish” what it made me feel the first time I read it.

But now it’s been such a long time. I think I read it almost seven years ago. And here I am, in the midst of rereading. As I write this, I’m currently bracing myself to start the part with all of the letters in chronological order. I’ve already cried multiple times so it’s not looking great for me.

I’m really happy to see you’re still here. Makes this feel less of a harrowing experience, honestly. And despite what all of this sounds like I actually enjoy reading the greatest love story of all time, of course. Not to be a SAP or anything but it feels like coming home. Anyway. Lots of love to you! :)

Hi my love! Thank you so much for this message, it's so nice to know you found your way back to Stucky and my little blog! You don't sound like a sap at all, that is actually a really lovely sentiment ❤️

Ah, NEC never really leaves you, does it? It's the kind of fic that haunts you, the kind of fic you'll find yourself thinking of out of the blue sometimes and bring back a surge of memories and emotions that can knock you off your feet for a moment. I totally feel you there.

I personally also haven't reread NEC yet, for the same reasons you mention, but I did get it bound, so I am actually planning on rereading it one day! It just hasn't been the right moment yet for me, but I will wait patiently for it to arrive.

I'm glad to hear the moment came for you today, though! And I am absolutely unsurprised to hear that it's still making you cry, even seven years later 🥺 It's just that heartbreakingly good, isn't it? The letters are the most intense, the most beautiful and the most devastating imo, so I am sending you all of the hugs and strength for your rereading of that part! ❤️ I hope you love it just as much as you did the first time around, lovely. I totally know what you mean about it being a comfort that there are so many others who feel so strongly about this story (and I'm glad to hear you're also enjoying it, and not just in excruciating pain..!)

Thank you for your kind words about me and my blog, that means a lot 🥺 I'm not here quite as much as I was before, but I can't imagine ever leaving! Stucky and this community just mean too much to me.

Sending lots of love (and good luck) back at you! 💖

[kaedeakeshisworld]

Home sweet home

cw: reader-san goes back home, work life is somewhat unbearable, talks with psychic friend, Theresa comes through with a reading to give her some guidance, talks about being childfree and a parentified adult as well as its consequences, Theresa encourages reader-san to open a baking business, an much needed 'men are trash reminder', a few other characters are mentioned such as Obi, Vulcan and Benimaru(he is a warning 🤨 ), uni days seem to bring joy and despair to reader-san, no sign of Leo for a total of three weeks(that’s ominous).

gist: reader-san goes back to her place after being with Leo for sometime. In her own words “ this motherfucker tweaking, on God!”(she’s right, I’d be mad too).

Wc: 2141

c/s:  I wouldn’t mind having captain Obi as my bed 😩, I said what I said 😋(that's period me talking). Uhm… enjoy!

Blank/Ageless blogs/MDNI, I will block you!

As soon as I got inside, I dropped my shopping bags at the entry. I took off my shoes. I went right away to the living room, plopped myself on my couch like I usually do. I take a few deep breaths to reassess the current state of my life. I have to appreciate where I’m at. But also fuck Leo for being a stubborn man. I can’t stand him. On top of that I have to go to work. 

I swear on everything the universe be trying me! Anyways, time to unwind.

 –

I slept like a baby when I got back home. I hugged my huge teddy bear to bring me comfort. I really missed being on my own company, I’m realising. No wonder I had shitty days earlier this week.

It’s been ten days, no signs of Leo contacting me or at least trying like… a missed call or something? Am I this unlucky with men or is it my imagination? I know I shouldn’t worry but single life looks so appealing right now. Might go back to it honestly.

Work’s been kicking my ass. Between orders, new clients, shipping packages, answering questions customers have, updating the site and coming up with new ideas to innovate the concept, I’m lagging a bit. Everytime I come back home, I just shower, eat and sleep. It's as if I were a robot, what am I doing? At least, I haven't cried yet. Not a sign of sir Burns? He's probably busy. I still have his debit card. I better not use it and leave it at home in a safe place.

Wednesday is my day off. I should probably make it a self care day and just do what I do best: me! I'll take it slow. Tuesday evening I should get some candles from the store.

Theresa sent a message. I think she wants to see me.

We need to talk. I'll be there 2moro by noon cya

My reply is

No problem. I'll be waiting

Wednesday

Theresa finds me with a face mask but her face is so stern…

“I know you're not seeing him. Why is that”

How? Ah, she always knows. I let her in the apartment. It would be rude to keep having this convo at the door. Some nosey people might hear. I tell her what she wants to know as we sit on the couch.

“The kid in question and that woman's identity. He doesn't want me to know.”

“Want me to pull out some tarot cards for it?”

“Yeah, sure why not.”

“I get a feel you’re not telling me everything.”

“Uhm… I don't think he'll contact me that soon.”

She takes out of her bag a few bay leaves.

“Hand me a lighter please gotta cleanse before I do anything.”

I don’ really like the smell so I ask her 

“Can you please do another cleansing method. I don’t dig burnt bay leaf smell and you know exactly why.”

“Sure, I’ll just clap a few times.” 

She claps three times then ten times and finally five. Don’t know about that pattern though might ask or not.

She pulls out her tarot deck. Seeing her shuffling doesn't cease to amaze you.

“What should y/n expect of this situation? Strength or maybe his sun sign. My hand burns so it definitely is his sun sign."

Uhm interesting

“Is your boo a july or august leo?” 

“Don’t know I haven’t asked him. I will.”

“Leaning on the card's meaning and my intuition, he’s a strong man. His values are unmatched for most people in his age range. I also get the feeling that he has gorgeous hair and a beard. Aren’t I right?”

Now that I think about it, I never asked him when it was his birthday. I'll do it if we get back together…

"Leo’s rule hair and all that so he’s also probably on the thicker side if you know what I mean.”

“Yes, spot on as always. Hair wise I didn’t touch it much. I think you’re right, it surely is a handful.”

She pulls out another card. Most of the time she’ll stop when she gets three cards but I get a feel this might be a long session.

“We have ten of cups. It embodies completion in your specific case; it could be marriage. It can also mean some sort of union. I don’t know where you currently stand on that matter.”

“I don’t look forward to it. I never really did fancy that. My whole childhood, teenage and early adult years I took care of babies and children that were not mine based solely on the fact that they’re family. So technically, I am a parentified adult. And while that kind of upbringing could have strongly reinforced the want of having kids, I simply do not like them.”

“So sorry you had to go through that, boo. You’re telling me that you’re prone to be a childfree person than to become a mother?”

“Exactly! Being a mother is not for me. I’m not trying to walk in my mother’s footsteps being the one who is bearing the whole family as well as taking care of a grown child labelled as ‘husband’ that is so useless.”

“I’m with you on that one. Fuck men and their entitlement to think they are doing too much when all they do is complain about ‘where my food at? This house look a mess or even ain’t nobody helping in this house.’ Stop being a clown and start doing something about the shit you whining about. Concerning your guy, he would be the right one spirit says.”

She continues pulling out cards:

“We got knight of wands. It symbolises motion as well as passion. Girl…I’m getting hot like smoking hot.” She says this as she waves her hand close to her face . “Please, give me a glass of cold water with ice cubes.”

“Coming right up!”

You do your little run towards the kitchen and come back with a full glass of water with ice cubes for your friend.

“Here.”

“Thank you, that was much needed.

“So, I think your man is super serious about you ‘cause I’m still hot.” 

She takes off her sweater . “The water didn’t do much but whatever I guess. Spirit tells me that he enjoys looking at you all the time even when you are not aware of it.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes! Haven’t you noticed it?”

“I probably didn’t pay much attention to it.”

“Ace of pentacles stands for potential, prosperity too. This is really good. I feel like it can signal longevity for this union, honey.

The hermit reversed. This could represent you or/and him. The current state of the relationship. Isolation. But not for too long, I would say it is necessary for both of you. It will allow you to evaluate what you really want form this relationship.” 

Doesn’t sound like a desperate situation thanks to Theresa’s insight. I’m so glad she is doing this for me!

“The moon represents illusions. Watch what you say and do. Don’t try anything to rash such as not letting people know you’re leaving. Notify them if you do so, please.”

Is there anything that doesn’t escape her sharp vision? I can’t even lie to her so I’ll say no.

“Another reversed card! Dang it, I don't like where this reading is headed. The devil. Aiming to restore control or maybe we’re getting warned about what he’s packing!! I bet you know what it looks like.” And she winks at me.

“Theresa!”, you yelped in frustration.

“Girl, watch out. I��m just being honest with you. Better safe that sorry in these streets!

For the previous message it deals with let me see to finally grasp what was lacking or to even find some semblance of power. It felt like most things you desired were slipping through your fingers but it’s no longer the case at least for now.”

“That was seven cards. From what I remember the number represents support from the angels concerning love and also means wholeness. So everything you’re currently going through is preparing for a much bigger outcome. I know it sucks now but you can handle it!!”

I catch her staring at the cards. Probably in deep thought.

“You don't look convinced enough.”

“Yep, I still don't know who that Aura is.”

“I can always use my pendulum if you'd like me to.”

“Absolutely! How could I forget that?”

“Only closed questions are allowed to ensure certainty. So, jot them down on a piece of paper, I'll read them aloud.” 

I pull out my stream of consciousness notebook and  write down what I need to know. Then I rip that page and hand it to her. She starts reading it.

“Is Aura Leo's ex partner? No. Does he have a kid? No.

Is he faithful? Yes.”

She puts all of her belongings away. She questions me.

“Y/n are you sure about this relationship?"

“I don’t think sure would be the right term. I know I want him and I long to be by his side. There is always some sort of uncertainty hovering above anything I do. I’m used to it but I wish it wouldn’t be as present as it is.”

“It’s your first in a long time so you might want to take things slow and easy. I know both of you will figure something out.”

“I made some baked goods earlier.”

“Yay. Love yours.”

“Sit down at the table and I'll get everything.” She puts down the oven safe dish and takes a giant pitcher out of her fridge.

“Tada! Cinnamon rolls paired up with Korean strawberry milk.”

“That's a great combo!”

“I know, let’s dig in.”

"Listen" she tells me " if you open a food business be it a truck or a store, I'll be there. I'm not kidding, every single day. Even if my wallet doesn't match my expenses!"

"I accept your undivided honesty and support but that might be for later. Not my main source of income. Could be a side hustle."

“I think I could use some of that spray of yours…”

“Which one? I need your to be specific.”

“The fuckboy repellent one?”

“You sure that's the only one you need?! I think you should also get the goddess era one and plutonian lover.”

“Can I get those too?” 

“Yes. I'll drop them off later today in your mailbox.”

“On another note. Do you know who I saw today? ” 

“No.”

“Think a little…”

“Really?” 

“Fine. I’ll give you some clues.”

“I’m listening.”

“He is peculiar.” 

“Leo?” 

“Are you for real? You haven’t even showed us a picture and suddenly I’m meant to know what he looks like? Girl, quit playing!"

“You’re right, my bad.”

“I’ll give a clue. It’s someone from uni…”

“Oh!”

“The whole buffet also known as Obi. The girls were mad about him. It’s me, I’m girls.”

“No and he only stayed there for a year.”

“Why the hell I didn’t have a one night stand with him?”

“Rumour has it if you do, no other person can satisfy you.” 

“Swear down!”

She nods

“Girl I better find him then. I’m willing to risk my life for that .”

“What about Leo?”

“I’ll give ‘us’ a break. I’m sure he’ll understand after what he pulled.”

“Fair enough.”

“Was it Vulcan?”

“Who was that again?”

“The red haired guy that you could tell was a sub. I wish I had one night with him too. You know trying new things.” 

“No.”

“Don’t you think something’s missing?”

“Black hair a scary face but girls were head over heels with him?”

“Benimaru?”

“Bingo.”

“How is he?"

“He is, I guess. I didn’t talk to him that long because back then he only had eyes for you and I’m pretty sure it’s still the case.”

“Excuse me?”

“Yes, you heard it right. When I asked him if he had you know a partner since he did the same and was met with a negative answer. He said’ Y/n is the only woman I can date’.  

“Well it’s… giving obsessive with a sprinkle of stuck in the past.”

“Like you said.”

“You think he’d say it to my face?”

“Uhm, maybe who knows? Miracles can happen?”

“Theresa being shady?? Nah, never thought I’d witness it firsthand!”

“Feels good to be home. I’ll never trade my happiness for a relationship. Mark my words I rest my case.”

Much later in the evening

Such a cute packaging! I’ll keep the little bag. It smells so good.

They're body mist with highlighter in it. Ooh, imma shine bright like a diamond.

Plus it smells so good! I gotta properly thank her. She always comes through.

I also wish Theresa gets her man even though she always brushes the topic off with ‘I'm not trying to trigger migraines by dating men. Plus, I'm not attracted to them so why would I?’

I hope she gets her soulmate or her twinflame. Man whatever she desires shall come to her.

I check my phone. He hasn’t called yet. Should I feel concerned? No, I left him behind because he was being an ass. He and his whole attitude about this Aura. Like where do I stand? Am I important enough to him?

I’m at work! Those thoughts are unnecessary as of now. I better get back on my shit before I find myself running back to his house. I am not a lost puppy.

Chapter 3 of After all, it's not a bad idea to get a sugar daddy 

Any kind of interaction is widely welcome!!

2022-2024 all rights reserved to @kaedeakeshisworld.

Translations/ modifications/replicas/property of my work are strictly prohibited. Do not repost/ recommend/ share it elsewhere!

[notquitecharlie]

1/22/24

(I wrote this on paper last night or technically early this morning. Im doing a little better now. Not much but a little, I'm gonna transcribe it best I can because parts are rambly, I'm sorry)

Dear Friend,

I dont think i can do this anymore. I fucking know that I can't. I'm going back to the homeschool program that I used to do. I feel like the boy who cried wolf with every one of these letters but sometimes writing to you makes me feel ok for a little bit. I know how i'd do it. Wanna know something funny? I'm the problem! I mean that with sincerity. My parents rules aren't unrealistic. they just want me to be straight and normal. They just always want ti know who I'm with, where I am and what I'm doing and saying. It's not unrealistic. They're just caring and thats so good and ice and I'm so grateful that I have people that that that that that that care you know. It's makes me so happy. So happy. It's my fault. Isn't that silly? Are you laughing friend? I feel bad I never make you happy. You make me so happy, you're who I have and i just say sad sad sad sad fucking things alllll the time. But its funny you seem to care about me. You say nice things and you click the little heart but thats just becuase you dont know me. You care (or at least let me think you care) about some stupid 17 year old that's fucked up in the head and I don't know where I'm going with this. I'm so sorry. Why do you deal with me? I don't make anything better or nice or good. I am un-loveable. I am useless. I don't deserve to be alive. Why do you let me pretend people care? That's so kind. It's 2 a.m. I've been sitting in a corner of my bed since about 10 p.m. I haven't been reading, I've just been sitting here scared of myself. Too scared of myself to let myself get out to where the sharp things and the painkilling things are. I found this old notebook by reaching under my bed a minute ago. Imagine if someone I live with read this! That's be so silly friend. Everythings so silly. My parents said if I finish my associates degree before I'm 18 and I move out for college they won't support me or have a relationship with me. That's fair. A bit of bad timing though because I have a semester and a half of credits to complete. I'm so hungry and cold. Ha. Imagine if i died that way. I'm only 10 pounds underweight. I could be like the guy in Elevation by Stephen King and just watch it keep going down until it's time to die. That'd be funny. I don't remember the last time I felt hungry though. I don't eat much but I never get hungry either. This is odd. odd. odd. odd. odd. odd. But i can't get up and leave the bed. Writing has made it a little better but the kitchen? Where all the best things are? No. I'll be fine. I don't know what I'd eat anyways. I'm so sorry. I know it's bad to complain about hunger. I'm so sorry. I don't deserve food yet theres so much. I feel so bad about that. So bad. I hope you'll forgive me. And I don't know why I just complained about being cold when I have blankets. I'm so fucking ugrateful. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I am. I'll do better. I'll be better. I'm sorry.

Love always,

M.