#anyway i hope hes never happy i hope he drowns in guilt

[midnightdemonhunter]

Well it’s quite common in this situation for a patient to feel a kind of.....guilt.

[appleblueberry-pie]

hear me out- yandere Miguel capturing us after we managed to escape from his lair (he kidnapped us) and us dealing w/ the consequences he put up for us 👀

Anyways thank youuu 🤭

I Thought You Knew Better Than This.

You've never thought your own home could look so ruined. He threw and destroyed everything. Your walls covered in claw marks in certain places with big and heavy pieces of furniture destroyed and laying on the opposite side of the room it's supposed to be on. You tried to make minimal sound as his hand on the back of your shirt continued to hurt you. Miguel hasn't stopped breathing heavy since he found you hiding in your little corner. He was seething. Absolutely furious with how the way things have turned out. It was supposed to be a simple day today. He drowns you in his luxury and money while he also indulges in the feelings of happiness that your happiness gives him. But when he was distracted and had his back turned, you disappeared without a second to spare, taking his patience and mercy with you.

Even though he wasn't wearing the symbol of his power, his spider-suit, something about him wearing just regular clothes while chasing you as if he was a predator catching his prey made your heart pang in fear. You said nothing and kept to yourself as he practically shoved you into the fully formed portal.

When you two were back into your very carefully decorated and designed (he would call this your real bedroom in your real home)bedroom meant for your comfort and safety, Miguel sat on the edge of the bed and had you planted on his lap. Your back touched his hot chest and your each of your legs were spread out with the outer sides of his own.

You swallowed thick bile and continued to keep your mouth shut. Your eyes roamed around your room in hopes of self soothing your erratic inner turmoil. Miguel grabbed the lower part of your face and turned you to make eye contact with him. His eyes held some sense of control within him, but you knew his heart was telling an entirely different story. You tried your best not to look away, knowing how he feels about eye contact.

"Por qué te fuiste?"(Why did you go?) His voice was quiet as he asked. He spoke to you as if you were a child, and truth be told, you really really didn't want to tell him why. But the last thing you should ever do is lie. Especially to him. "I just.....I didn't want to be with you." You silently croaked out the answer, guilt showing in your eyes, but he didn't care. "Hm? Don't I give you everything? Don't I take good care of you? Papi no te cuida bien?"(Doesn't daddy take care of you?)

You slowly nod and he shakes his head. "I don't understand. Help me understand why you thought it was a good idea to run away. Please." You stutter as you try to answer as his hand somehow sneaked past your pants to rub his cold fingers on your clit through your underwear. ".......B-because I-" "Because you don't think. You just act immediately on your thoughts and leave me to clean up your mess. This is why I make you stay home."

No matter how hard you tried to ignore his fingers, your body somehow managed to build pleasure from the constant stimulation he was giving you. "I'm sorry." He rolls his eyes and begins to take off your pants. "Yeah." You didn't want to think about what he wanted to do with you. You drop the pants onto the floor once they pool around your ankles and Miguel manhandles you over his lap.

"Wait, no, Miguel. I don't wanna do this, I'm not ready!" You feel his digits prod at your entrance as best as they could through the small and unnecessarily damp part of your underwear that he caused. "It never seems like you're ready for me to give you any of your punishments, mi cielo. But don't you think it's time for me to give you what you deserve?" You squirm under his hold, and he rightfully continues to hold you down.

"No!" He coos at you while staring down at your panties, shoving the piece of the cloth to the side to access you more easily. "Mmmm, I think I should." Two of his digits poke at your hole and your shame drastically increases as you automatically whine at the feeling, squirming in his arms.

You hated, hated getting sexual with him. It wasn't fair that he had more experience than you and could play with you like an instrument, making you sing every song known to man. He was so good at touching you, you never wanted to try it again since the first time it happened. Knowing how hard it was to not only ignore him, but also how hard it was to go against his word when you and him both knew he could make you feel so good in ways you didn't think was humanly possible.

Miguel looks back up to see your reaction as he inserts his fingers and you immediately go silent. His fingers thrust inside of you two, three times and then on the fourth time, curls on that spot and you squeeze your eyes shut. A very small upward curve makes itself known on Miguel's face. He softly praises you and continues working your pussy out. "There, we go, bebé. No se siente increíble? Déjame escucharte."(Doesn't that feel amazing? Let me hear you). Your hands tighten their hold on his thigh and you shake your head no. He suddenly pulls his fingers out, licking them clean before tossing you onto the bed, immediately taking his hard cock out of his pants. "Está bien, nena."(That's okay, baby) He almost seems to say his words excitedly, rushing to mount your ass, one of his hands on the small of your back to keep you in place, his head hanging to watch the hot tip of his cock slip between the plush doors to his only escape to reality, indulging in you entirely. "........Tengo otras maneras de hacerte cantar."(I have other ways of making you sing.) He was gone, too far gone to stop and it was all of your fault.

He lets out a shaky sigh, leaning down to connect his chest to your back, now moving the hand that once was restricting you so that his body can take that role, and instead putting his hand in your hair to move your face to meet his. You look up at him with those adorable glossy eyes, the tears threatening to drop down your pretty cheek only makes him smile. "You did this to yourself, baby. Don't be so sad. All you have to do is let me do the work, okay? Just relax." Then his lips connect with yours in a sweet, loving kiss that you fucking hated. But your opinion never mattered in these moments, and it especially didn't matter when he kept deepening the kiss, groaning into your mouth as you felt him very gently intrude your entrance.

His kisses. His kisses successfully distracted you. Those plush lips making you forget your words. And when his tip oh, so gently kissed that spot inside of you when he was fully in, you felt your mind begin to buzz and didn't even realize you stopped trying to resist. Miguel took that moment to let his hands roam your heavenly body. There were only a few times he got to do this, and sadly, it was only when he was having sex with you. He wanted to be able to touch you every day. He wanted his hands to touch your stomach, your sides like this every morning and every night. He wanted to soothe your mind and body like this every day in any way he could, outside of a sexual context, because he knows he could. He just wishes you would love him back so he can give you what you truly deserve. Own him like you truly deserve.

But then he remembers you telling him he wasn't shit, his love wasn't shit, you wanted him dead, wanted him gone, he was worth nothing and the only thing you'd enjoy would be him in the dirt. Dead, gone, cold and forever silent, out of your mind. But what about all of this he built for you? What about those mornings you'd be in his arms and immediately realized you cuddled him all of the damn time in your sleep? What about those times he had to help you cook, had to help you with those weirdos who cat-called you outside, had to help you with your stress? Your pain that he took away from you? Just like this?

What about that? "Nothing I do is ever enough for you." His hips slowly roll into yours and you focus on the sheets in front of you, ignoring his crazy talk. "Maybe I should try giving you all that I got. Maybe then, you'll learn to be thankful." He grabs you by the waist and pulls you to the edge of the bed. Both pairs of feet touch the ground, but you both remain bent over the bed. His hands grab onto yours and pulls them up, giving you no space or peace of mind to be able to ignore anything he's doing to you.

The soft rolling picks up speed and force, the jabs he makes inside of you increasing in pleasure with each thrust. You begin making sounds you can't control, and Miguel smothers you with kisses on your neck, praising your actions.

You hated him. You hated how you began leaning into his affection and relaxed at his words as he fucked the logic out of your mind. You hated how he numbed your tongue and continued to abuse your sweet spot constantly, knowing how sweet you'll be to him afterwards. And even when you grind back into him, all of your muscles tensing as he rubs at your clit during your orgasm, you still find a way to try and curse his name, only for it to come out of your mouth as if he was an angel from heaven.

Miguel pulls out to shoot his load onto the sheets, knowing the relationship you two have isn't something he wanted his child to see. It'd take a few more months.

You let him clean you, wash the sheets, feed you and put you to bed. And you couldn't find it in you to complain, let alone have any kind of opinion of what just happened. Not when you were this tired. Miguel decided to skip work for the rest of the night to sleep with you. You don't say anything.

You curled into his arms, knowing the next morning will just be a mental battle with yourself over giving in or continuing this exhausting fight you were putting up. His hand softly caresses your head, the other one holding your body close to his. He is whispering to you in such a soft and lovely tone, it just makes you wonder how obsessed he really is with you. Skin to skin. He lulls you to sleep and stays awake for a good while, just to embrace the moment he's never given. Then follows you into his subconscious.

[deathbxnny]

helloo, platonic aventurine, sunday and jing yuan with a teen!reader like ai hoshino?

(reader is a talented and captivating idol/singer, but outside of their idol persona they are sort of empty, trying to understand love and often doing self-destructive things while doing so)

Hey there, Anon! Thank you for your request, and I'm sorry this took so long! Life sucks as usual, lol. Anyways, I hope you'll like this!<33

Content: Hurt/comfort, angst, platonic relationships, potential mentions of depression and themes surrounding that, sfw

Reader has no set pronouns!!

((Not proofread))

》SUNDAY

Sunday already knew alot about the life of an idol through his own sister being one. But this also meant that he could look right through you with ease. Hiding your true feelings from him was impossible, but that also meant that he wouldn't confront you about it immideately. He simply observes your downfall in this suffocating and fast lifestyle before finally pulling you aside to see what the real issue is.

He sympathises with you deeply, mainly due to your young age and him knowing how hard it is to uphold a perfect appearance all the time. He keeps an eye on you closely, not letting you drown in your self-destructive methods, no matter how hard you fight him on the matter. He knows there is only just so much you can take before you break completely, after all.

Sunday eventually forces you to take a break from everything, where he takes you under his wing and essentially nurses you back into a healthy mental space. Whether he uses his abilities or not is really up to how well you respond to this, but he won't let you return to your life as an idol until he's convinced of your improvement.

》AVENTURINE

Aventurine could also easily see through your facade, mainly because, in a way, he very much related to you. You were young, forced into this fast life as an idol that seemed to only spiral downwards until you were barely able to keep up your perfectly strained smile. He understood you. He really did, which is why he wanted to help you in the first place. But he knew it wouldn't be an easy task at all.

You were hellbent on concealing your self-destructive ways, the question of what truly meant and felt like always hanging over your head, heavy on your young shoulders. He'd reach his hand out for you, offering to help you out of this hole life has unfairly dug for you, promising that it won't hurt your idol life. Unless escaping is what you wanted.

He becomes somewhat of a mentor/big brother figure to you, someone you can come to when the days get too dark and you need a bit of light to guide you back to the exit. He knows that with time, you'd eventually be able to deal with things on your own. But for now, he'll be there for you, just the way he wished someone would've been there for him all those years ago.

》JING YUAN

Jing Yuan is rather sly, yet at the same time, very stern with his approach to your obvious self-destructive demise. He knew from the start that your life as an idol would be plagued with uncertainties and sadness that a young teen like you could never handle on your own for long. But he waits for you to come to him first, like you knew you could. He didn't want to assume wrong and anger you, after all.

He doesn't have to wait for long, however, as you eventually break and come to him with the near ashamed plea of wanting to take a break and get help from everything that has been plaguing your young mind. The life of an idol wasn't easy, and he knew that, which is why he simply obliged and announced to the Luofu that you'd be taking an indefinite break from everything. Your happy-go-lucky attitude had been completely demolished by then, the guilt killing you, and yet he still didn't let you slip through his fingers and sink any further.

It doesn't matter how long it takes. You'll eventually come back to singing in much better health than ever before one way or another, him cheering you on quietly with a content smile from afar.

Alright, Anon... I'm sorry if this isn't good, I've been super busy with everything lately, so I hope this is alright!! Thank you again for the request!!<33

[unsolved-duvall]

𝐁𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 - 𝐞.𝐦.

eddie munson x fem!reader

summary your boyfriend was an asshole. eddie knew that. you knew that, too. but neither one of you had been brave enough to do anything about it. until now. (4.8k)

warnings reader's boyfriend is an asshole (obviously), implied that reader struggles with anxiety, reader technically cheats on her boyfriend (sucks to be him), kissing, fluff, that's all i think! let me know if i missed anything <3

Deep breaths. In and out.

The words would play on a loop in your head. Your own personal mantra you repeated in an attempt to calm your racing thoughts, and stop the words being sung around you from sinking into your mind and cementing themself there as truth. 

This shouldn’t be how you feel around your friends, you knew that. But the truth was they were your boyfriend's friends first. When you two had started dating he had introduced you to them and promised you that they were nice. Kind. Thoughtful. Caring. These were all real words he used to describe his asshole friends. And of course, you believed him, because what kind of boyfriend put you in any situation where you felt uncomfortable? A situation where you were torn down for other people’s enjoyment? 

Your boyfriend. Your boyfriend would do that. 

Your boyfriend was an asshole. 

Sometimes, on a good day, he would say nothing, choosing instead to sit in silence whilst your feelings got pulled apart and stamped on. Sometimes though, on a bad day, he would join in, laughing at whatever witty comment someone had conjured up about you. He had never once stood up for you. 

Asshole. 

Today was the same as every other, the morning had gone by in an instant and before you knew it the dreaded hour had crept up on you. You took your normal seat around the table, pushed into the corner of the canteen, and watched as your friends slowly flooded in and sat down, small talk and gossip filling the air. 

Your eyes scanned the canteen and you saw your boyfriend making his way over to you, your stomach dropped as he made eye contact with you, his aggravation already clear as he smiled, the kind of smile that didn’t reach his eyes. 

You forced yourself to hide the dread that was fighting to make itself obvious on your face, not that anyone was paying attention to you right now anyway. Your boyfriend sat down next to you and placed a hand on your leg, squeezing it once before pulling back and putting all his attention anywhere but on you. 

Lunch played out as normal, laughter and chatter filling the table as you attempted to make yourself as small as possible, hoping beyond hope that everyone would forget you were there and grant you some mercy. 

They didn’t. Because they never did. 

Soon enough the nasty comments started flying. 

You sat and desperately wanted today to be the day that your boyfriend would finally stand up for you; tell his friends they had gone too far or drag you away from them and tell you how sorry he was that you were being treated that way. But of course, he didn’t.

Anytime you would make eye contact with him he would look away quickly, his guilt obvious, but still not enough for him to stand up for you when you needed him. 

Soon enough the insults all began to blend into one and you were able to drown them out. Your gaze shifted to look outside the canteen windows, watching the grey clouds shift overhead. 

You weren’t sure how long you had been staring out of the windows, intent on daydreaming your way through lunch. But soon you felt a pair of eyes watching you, pulling your attention back inside the full canteen, you glanced around to find that you were in fact being looked at, but it wasn’t your boyfriend. 

Eddie was staring at you from across the canteen. 

Your eyes locked onto his and you felt heat rush to your face, a rose blush spreading over your cheeks. 

He smiled, one that reached his eyes, but you could sense that he wasn’t happy. Something about the way his face dropped so quickly, annoyance painting his face as his eyes scanned the table you were sitting at. 

You and Eddie had never spoken. But you knew of him, of course you did, it was all but impossible to live in Hawkins and not know who he was. His loud personality drawing the attention of anyone within a couple of metres of him, oftentimes your friends would stop their bullying just to watch as Eddie made himself the focal point of the canteen. 

The mix of the drawl of the people around you and the intensity of Eddie’s gaze, no matter how sincere, all got to be too much for you, your breathing speeding up and your shaky hands grabbing at one another in search of comfort. 

You jumped up suddenly and clumsily made your way past the other chairs that were haphazardly placed around the table. You heard a couple of protests and confusion at your quick exit, but you purposefully ignored each one and let your feet lead you out of the canteen. 

What you didn’t notice was a second pair of feet following you. 

Navigating your way through the sea of people around the school was difficult enough anyway, but doing it whilst your ears were ringing and you fought to hold back tears that were threatening to run down your cheeks, was even harder. 

You managed to get out broken excuse me’s and sorry’s every time you accidentally pushed someone as you made your way to… anywhere but here. 

Just as you started to panic you felt a hand on your back, it was barely even touching you, fingertips grazing your back just enough for you to register that someone was there, as soon as they had got your attention their hand dropped back to their side. 

You stopped walking and turned to see who had walked up behind you. 

Eddie. 

His doe eyes scanned your face. He had followed you because he knew something was wrong. But as he took in your teary eyes and saw how fast you were breathing he felt his heartbreak. 

“Okay, you’re okay. Do you wanna come with me, yeah?” Eddie asked you gently, careful not to upset you further. You nodded and Eddie sighed a breath of relief at your agreement. He didn’t want to leave you alone, but he didn’t want to force you to do anything you didn’t want to do either. 

Eddie knew you. You had two classes together and he always found himself drawn to you, which confused him, considering you two had never shared more than three words between yourselves.

But nevertheless, Eddie still noticed you. He noticed the way you twirled the rings on your finger when you were focused on something. He noticed how when you were really, truly happy your nose would scrunch up when you smiled. He noticed how your boyfriend treated you. How his friends treated you. 

He had noticed it for a while now, he overheard the things said to you when he would walk past your table in the canteen. He saw how your smile got smaller over time, and how you slowly stopped talking. He had given your boyfriend the benefit of the doubt, at first. Had hoped that one day he would defend you, or tell his friends to fuck off. Anything. But he never did. And Eddie had wanted to walk over to you and drag you away from them countless times.

 But you were an adult, and you could make your own decisions. So he told himself he would only do something when he couldn’t physically stand to watch you suffer through it anymore. 

He was ready to say “fuck it” today and pull you away from the situation. But before he could do that you had all but ran out of the canteen. He didn’t even think twice about following you. No, that’s not true. He couldn’t decide between making sure you were okay and beating the shit out of your boyfriend for being an asshole. But Eddie knew you needed to know someone cared about you, and noticed you, more than you needed someone to beat up your boyfriend. 

Also, Eddie wasn’t exactly a fighter, per se. 

Eddie led you through the bustling hallway, his pinky intertwined with yours as you walked closely behind him. You had been the one to take a hold of his hand, he could tell your anxiety was bad if you were clinging to him. He didn’t mind it though, he’d do whatever you needed him to. 

It quickly dawned on him that he hadn’t actually thought about what he would do when he caught up with you. He wasn’t exactly one to think ahead. He should probably start doing that. 

In a moment of sheer panic, Eddie pulls you into a closet. Okay, so that wasn’t the best decision he ever made. But sue him, he was trying his best. 

Before either of you can process what’s happening, you’re standing in a dark, dusty storage closet. Nothing but shelves and boxes fill the space. The door finally shuts behind you as you let go of Eddie’s hand. Your legs feel like they’re working overtime to keep you standing, that rush of panic still flooding your body, so you stumble over to the back wall, letting yourself sit down on the cold floor, finally feeling some sense of relief set in. 

Your knees are pulled up to your chest, hands resting on the floor on either side of you. You close your eyes for a second to let yourself relax, trying to rid your mind of the snide remarks made by your friends who were still sitting in the canteen. None of them had bothered to follow you. 

“Um- are you, are you okay?” Eddie’s voice was wary as he spoke to you. Almost like he was unsure if he should be speaking yet. 

“I just wanna go home” was all you could say, your voice wavering. Because you really just did not want to be here anymore. You didn’t want to have to deal with the rest of the day, seeing them again. 

Eddie’s face dropped as he realised just how exhausted you were. He hated that anyone could make you feel like that. 

“I can take you,” He said, still unsure of himself, but gaining some confidence due to how calm you seemed around him, he wasn’t used to that. “I can drive you home if you want me to. I know sometimes I just wanna, you know, be by myself” He was leaning against the door, hands in front of him as he fiddled with his rings, a nervous habit you assumed. 

“No.” You responded, too quickly to be casual. “I mean- no, I don’t really want to go home” You had hoped he would accept your answer, but he tilted his head to the side and said nothing, clearly waiting for you to elaborate.

“It’s too quiet.” You whispered. “At home.” 

Eddie shifted on his feet, eyes dropping to look at the dusty floor. 

“I think too much when it’s quiet. I don’t need to think anymore right now” You had barely said anything, but based on the look that spread across Eddie’s face you knew you had said too much anyway. 

“Because of them?” Eddie’s voice came out in an unnerving calm, his face was unreadable. 

Panic spread through you at how blunt he was being, you both knew who he was referring to. You felt the tears threaten to spill over again and at the first word you tried to speak your voice cracked, rather pathetically you thought. 

Eddie didn’t think so. He thought it was good that you were finally letting your emotions out. 

But still, his heart broke at how your lip quivered and your hands shook as you tried to wipe the tears away. He had kneeled in front of you before he realised he was moving. 

“That’s just how they are,” you tried to justify it - you weren’t sure if you were trying to convince Eddie or yourself. “they don’t mean any of it.” 

“And your boyfriend?” Eddie asked you, his voice thick with resentment. 

“I don’t wanna talk about him.” You said, your fingers pulling at a loose thread on your jumper. 

Eddie sighed and sat next to you, his legs pulled up to his chest, a mirror image of the way you were sitting. 

The bell rang outside, the sound muffled by the closet door. When you didn’t make any effort to move, neither did Eddie. 

“You can go, Eddie.” 

“I thought you didn’t want to be alone.” Eddie gently nudged you with his shoulder, and you couldn’t fight the smile that tugged at your lips. 

“You don’t want to spend your afternoon in a dark closet, at least I’m assuming- I don’t know what you do in your spare time.” 

Eddie turned his head to look at you, your voice sounded much softer than it had earlier. You sounded slightly more like yourself. The voice he was used to hearing across the classroom when you were laughing and talking to your friends. 

He never meant to eavesdrop. But your voice broke through the barrier he threw up around himself and he couldn’t pull himself away from letting your sweet voice wash over him. 

Eddie realised it had been a while since he’d said anything, but he was still staring at you. Luckily you were still preoccupied with that loose thread on your jumper, pulling at it and wrapping it around your finger. He found even that endearing. 

“Listen- you don’t have to but if you want to come with me, I am gonna go home anyway. You could come back to mine, or I can take you somewhere, whatever you want.” Eddie tensed as he said it. You didn’t know him, why would you want to go anywhere with him? You had no reason to even trust him. 

“Yeah. yeah, okay. That sounds nice, if you don’t mind because I don’t want to intrude-” 

“No! No, you’re not intruding, at all. I promise.” 

You smiled and dropped the loose thread. Eddie pushed up off the floor and held a hand out for you to pull yourself up. When you took his hand he felt sparks fly and he had to take a steadying breath. 

The halls were empty as you followed Eddie out of the school. Although, when a teacher called after you both, Eddie grabbed your hand and pulled you to his side, hurrying you out of the door and yelling something back at them. You were starting to piece together why he hadn’t graduated yet. 

“This is me,” Eddie told you as you walked up to his van. You didn’t tell him you already knew that. You figured it would come across slightly stalkerish. 

Which wasn’t the vibe you were going for. 

You nodded as he opened the door for you, a protective arm going out around when you climbed in. 

The drive to his was relatively quiet. The hum of the radio cut through any awkward silence, and you enjoyed watching the changing scenery fly past the windows. Just as your eyes started to feel heavy, and your head lolled against the headrest, you stopped moving. You sat up straight and looked over to see Eddie already smiling at you. 

“Were you sleeping?” he asked, a gentle laugh lacing his words. 

“No, I was just resting my eyes!” you threw back at him, he broke out into a full laugh then, one that had you laughing too. 

Eddie opened the door and climbed out, you followed him. Throwing your bag over your shoulder and listening to the gravel crunch under your shoes as you walked from the van to the trailer. Eddie held the door open for you, and you stepped in, turning awkwardly and waiting for him to follow you. You took a second to look around and couldn’t help but smile at how homely it felt- so different to your own home, in the best way. 

Eddie followed your eyes scanning the trailer and suddenly regretted bringing you here- but then the smile on your face met your eyes and you asked- 

“How many mugs do you have?” 

“Oh uh- huh, I don’t know actually. Ask my uncle he’d be able to tell you,” you leant against the counter behind you as he spoke, throwing his shoes and jacket off at the door. 

“Or don’t ask him actually. I love him but he will talk your ear off about those, and the hats.” you tilted your head, urging him to keep talking. 

“He collected them for a while, I don’t know why. He travelled around a lot for work and I guess it became a habit to buy one or the other, in all those places.”

“That’s cute!” you beamed at him. 

“Yeah don’t tell him it’s cute. Or do, I’d pay to see his reaction to that.” Eddie walked over to you, reaching up to grab two glasses from a cupboard and then filling them with water. 

He held one out for you and you took it, breathing out a thank you.

It seemed to hit both of you simultaneously that you were standing in Eddie’s home. Alone. Before this morning you hadn’t even spoken to one another.

It didn’t feel like it though. You felt safe with him, it felt like you had known each other for years. 

You didn’t even feel like this with your boyfriend. 

“Uh- we can sit if you want. Do you like… watching tv?” Eddie asked you, cringing as he heard how clumsily his words had come out, but he was already turning to walk over to the couch across from you. 

“Yeah, I like watching tv. I think most people do, actually.” your voice was laced with sarcasm and Eddie threw himself down on one end of the couch before he said-

“Hey, I didn’t wanna assume anything. You might have had a personal vendetta against it and I didn’t wanna get in the way of that.”

Your eyes sparkled as you also sat down, on the other end of the couch, although it wasn’t massive, so you weren’t that far away from Eddie anyway. 

“Nope, me and the tv are like that,” you crossed two fingers over the other and held them up, Eddie grinned and leant forward to grab the remote. 

“Good to know, sweetheart. You don’t mind what I put on?” 

Sweetheart?

A slip up, probably. Or he called every girl that. Most likely. Right? Yeah, because you had a boyfriend and that meant you shouldn’t care if Eddie called you sweetheart or not. And even if you- 

“Or you can pick, that’s okay too” 

Eddie’s voice cut through your thoughts and only then did you realise you hadn’t responded to his question. 

“Oh, no that’s okay! Sorry I was just- uh, put on whatever you want, I don’t mind Eds”

Eddie nodded and let some old movie play on the screen. Neither of you said anything as you settled back into the couch and let the movie play. 

After a while you noticed Eddie kept turning to look at you. At first you thought he was just watching your reaction to the movie, but then he kept doing it and you figured it was more than that. 

“Everything okay?” you asked, turning your body slightly to be able to look at Eddie without twisting your neck. 

“Yeah I just- are you okay? I know you might not want to talk about it and that’s fine but, I just wanted to make sure.” you knew what Eddie was referring to, and if it had been anyone else you probably, or definitely, would have told them to leave it alone. But something about the genuine look of concern that flooded Eddie’s face as he looked at you made you want to talk to him about it.

“They do it all the time. I guess I don’t say anything because I don’t wanna upset my boyfriend, they’re his friends, you know?”

Eddie also twisted, so his body was facing yours, and arm was thrown across the back of the couch. 

“So that means they get to treat you like shit?” 

“They’re just joking-“

“Pretty bad fucking jokes then,” Eddie said, cutting you off. 

“Listen, sweetheart,” there it was again. Sweetheart. 

“If I’m overstepping here, then feel free to tell me. But, you shouldn’t have to put up with that, okay? Why would people who claim to be your friend, want to spend all their time making fun of you? That’s not a friend, that’s someone who gets off on making others feel like shit, because they have no fucking confidence to be their own person, and you do. And that scares the shit out of them.”

You listened to Eddie talk and realised you could listen to him talk about anything, forever. 

“And as for your boyfriend? Listen, if you love him, then that’s your business. But, and I mean this is the least nice way possible, he’s the biggest asshole I have ever had the displeasure of coming across”

You turned your head away, your eyes flicking back to the movie that was still playing on the tv. You knew he was right. It just hurts to hear someone say what you already knew. 

“He should support you, love you. He’s not doing any of that. Fuck, if someone was saying that shit to you and I was your boyfriend? I would-“ 

“If you were my boyfriend?” You cut him off, eyes meeting him as your whole body tensed up. 

“No I didn’t mean- I just meant, you know if someone I was dating was being treated that way. I didn’t mean you specifically- not that I wouldn’t do it for you! Uh, I meant-“

“It’s okay, Eddie. I was joking.”

“Oh- right. No, I knew that. Sorry.” 

“You don’t need to say sorry.” you told him, your voice as quiet as it had been in that dusty closet. 

You both relaxed back into watching the movie. You felt yourself get more comfortable as your whole body weight leant against the couch, and as you did you felt yourself move towards Eddie. You did it without realising, but your head was resting against his shoulder. 

Eddie noticed it instantly. He didn’t say anything at first, but then he remembered you were vulnerable right now. You had had a rough day, emotionally you probably weren’t doing great. 

“I can grab you a pillow- if you want something to rest on. I get tired too, after being at school.” Eddie told you, his voice small, not wanting to startle you with how close your head was to his. 

“Oh- no that’s okay. I’m sorry, I didn’t realise I was… I’m not tired.” you told him, your cheeks flushed in embarrassment.  

“I don’t mind getting you one, honestly. You were leaning against me, I just thought that meant you were tired.” Eddie said genuinely. 

“I just wanted to be closer to you. I’m sorry I should have asked if that was okay-“ the words came out of you far too fast to be casual. 

Eddie froze for a minute, you could almost see the thoughts racing around in his mind, “No, you’re okay. come here,” 

Eddie reached an arm out and you wasted no time setting into his side, your head resting in the crook of his neck and your arm coming round to rest over him. 

You had no idea what had come over you. You were never like this. But it was like you needed to be with Eddie, it was like there was some invisible string that pulled you to him, and the second you felt yourself wrapped in his warmth everything else faded into non-existence. It was just him, and how he felt beneath you. His chest rising and falling as your body sunk further into comfort against him. 

You spent the rest of the movie like that, neither of you speaking, except for the odd comment you would make about what was happening on screen, the other humming or nodding in agreement. 

The movie ended and neither of you made any attempt to move. 

“Are you hungry?” Eddie asked into the quiet air that surrounded you both.

“No, I’m okay” you breathed out. 

You moved your head so you could look at Eddie, but you didn’t pull away from him, leaving your faces close together. Too close. 

“You’re pretty” 

Oh. 

Oh. 

At first you froze because you didn’t realise you had said that out loud. 

Then you froze because you didn’t know why you were even thinking that.

Of course, he was pretty but- 

Fuck it. 

You moved slightly, and Eddie picked up on what you were doing instantly, and a gentle hand came down on top of yours, the one that was resting against his chest. 

“You have a boyfriend” Eddie breathed, his eyes scanning yours, and you swear stars flickered in them. 

“No I don’t,” you told him, “not really.” 

And that was all it took for you to let your lips intertwine with his. 

It was a soft kiss. Delicate, like either of you was waiting for the other to pull away. To tell them this was a mistake. 

But neither of you did. 

You broke the kiss only for a second. Your lips still grazed his and both of your eyes still shut as you took a deep breath, and then you were kissing him. 

Really, truly kissing him. 

Your lips moved against each other and the world suddenly felt like it made sense for the first time ever. 

His thumbs rubbed delicate circles into your cheeks and you placed a hand behind his neck, keeping him pressed flush against you. 

You were the one to run your tongue over his bottom lip, begging to deepen the kiss. 

You didn’t want anything more to happen, not today. Not yet. 

But you wanted to feel closer to him. You needed to be as close to him as possible, for your own sanity. 

Eddie would give you the whole world if you asked him to. So he kissed you. 

He kissed you until you were breathless.

He kissed you until you couldn’t even remember what had happened earlier that day. 

He kissed you until the whole world went quiet and all you could focus on was his tongue pressing against yours. The way his lips moved like silk against your own, and the little sounds you let out each time you pulled away reluctantly to breathe. 

You could die happily, kissing Eddie. 

Eddie kissed you until the front door opened and shut. Neither of you heard it. 

Eddie kissed you until you heard a man cough and suddenly Eddie’s lips weren’t on yours anymore and his cheeks had flushed a deep crimson. 

His hands dropped from your face, but he didn’t push you away, if anything his hold on you tightened, a comforting hand coming down to rest on your arm. 

“Sorry for interrupting” a gruff voice came from the man you had never met, but you put two and two together fairly quickly. 

“Fuck, Wayne- I’m sorry we- I thought you were out today,” Eddie spoke as you tried to figure out how quickly you could run home from here. 

“I was, and now I’m back,” Wayne said, his eyes flicking to you, and then back to Eddie. 

“Yeah, I can see that.” Eddie shot back, although there was no genuine annoyance in his voice, purely embarrassment, although he tried to hide that. 

“I have to sleep on that couch you know, you have a bedroom for a reason-“

“No! No, we weren’t! It’s not- we were just… we weren’t doing that” Eddie finally dropped his hold on you as he said that as if every touch you two shared was being carefully monitored. 

“Well I’m just saying- when I’m not here, and in your own room, that’s all I ask,” Wayne told you both. 

“You got it,” Eddie said, cringing. 

There was a pause for a moment and then- 

“Are you gonna introduce us or are you gonna let the poor girl sit there looking like she wants to jump in front of a car.” Wayne asked as he made his way over, a soft smile on his face as he sat down in the only other chair in the living room.  

Eddie introduced you, and you apologised for what he had walked into. He shrugged it off, telling you he had lived with Eddie for years, and that he’d seen a lot worse. 

You laughed at that. Eddie did not. 

“Hey, Wayne. She was asking about your mug collection, you wanna tell her about it?” Eddie’s smug voice rang out and you didn’t even need to look at his face to see the smile that graced it. 

Wayne jumped up and you followed him with your eyes, interlinking your hand with Eddie’s as he spoke, “Oh, okay so- I have a lot, as you can see, so this might take a while! But we’ll start with this one-“

You heard Eddie stifle a laugh beside you, but you only leant further into him, and happily listened to Wayne speak for the next half an hour. While Eddie kept you safe against him.

[graceloveswolves]

Hey!! I love your little series for Paul and while we wait for the next part, i wanted to request for Carlisle. Where his human girlfriend wants to have a baby before being turn, and yes she saw everything bella went through but she's sure she can make it and she trust carlisle to turn her in time. But of course at first he say no, and so they fight a lot about it.... Basically a lot of angst but with fluffy happy ending (with said baby being born)

Thank you so much! I’m still working on my Paul series so stay tuned. I might have to go binge Twilight now after writing this LMAO. And yes I agree on Carlisle’s view point. He’s very empathetic but stands strong with his boundaries. I did NOT name the baby because I wouldn’t know what to name it and I wouldn’t want you guys to hate it so… But nonetheless… enjoy this piece :) I so so so appreciate requests!

——————————————————————————

Tap. Tap. Tap.

I sighed, setting down my pregnancy test onto my marble countertop.

Negative.

It was useless anyways… being in a room full of vampires all the time, someone was bound to know if I was pregnant before I would anyway. I felt tears run down my face, but I wasn’t sure what kind of tears they were. Was it sad tears? Sadness from not achieving a desired outcome no matter how dangerous and deadly it could be? Was it relief? Relieved that I hadn’t needed to break the news to anyone, no anxiety or dire plans and conversations need to be made? Or hope? Hope that I had more time to figure out what I needed to do and properly take the steps to finally getting my eternal happiness.

Maybe it was all of those things… all the Cullen’s talked about vampires having heighten emotions, yet I was as human as it got and still felt all these emotions flooding me all the time, drowning me in confusion and chaos throughout the days. Sometimes I thought it was a curse, I’ve been cursed with the hope of having what Bella and Edward have. What they achieved to do, to have both a family and an eternity with each other. Eternal peace. Eternal happiness.

What if I didn’t get what they have… I have spent many hours assessing the possible outcomes of my actions. And Ive come to the conclusion that there were three possible outcomes.

First outcome….end up like Edward and Bella. Of course, enduring painful weeks growing my baby, and chancing a rather probable death that will be agonizing and traumatic for everyone. But ending up as a mother, with a beautiful baby of my own and husband. With an eternity to spend with them as they experience the ever changing world together.

Second outcome….end up like Rosalie and Emmett. Turned with the eternity of each other, however also an eternity of knowing I will never be able to experience being a mother. Never to experience building a true family with the love of my life, creating a perfect version of myself and my eternal partner. Like a shadow of despair forever haunting me.

Final outcome…. death. Whether having the baby and dying for good, with not being turned. Or whether I die from my body giving out during the pregnancy. Leaving Carlisle and his family with a hole in their heart, and leaving him with the guilt and pain of our consequences.

Although each outcome was morbidity terrifying in there own way, I just knew if I never tried to have a baby, if I just lived my life without knowing the possibilities I have given up, it would be worse then death. It would be worse not knowing what could have been, and what life I could’ve brought into the world.

However the hardest part wasn’t deciding what the outcomes of having a baby were, whether I was choosing life or death, whether I’d be putting my entire family in danger, hell… having the baby probably wouldn’t be the hardest part either.

It would be Carlisle’s support.

He was a very giving man, very generous and kind. But he had very strong morals, and it took a lot for him to even consider entertaining a relationship with me considering I was a human and he was a vampire. He thought that I deserved a normal happy human life, with another human, with human babies and human problems like mortgages and taxes. But like Bella, I was very stubborn and knew what I wanted.

But nonetheless, this would be a whole other level of fights and long conversations ending with tears and heartbreak. I knew he felt sorrowful not being able to give me human children, I mean I was with him before Edward and Bella even met. We saw them go through almost everything we went through as two different people.

Then Bella got pregnant…

I would never forget the day we all found out, the weeks of anxiety and anger that echoed off the walls of our house for what felt like years. The bruises and broken ribs Carlisle had to fix and the blood we had to ration during the tough times. But also, the joy and excitement Bella had. Even as she was looking death in the face and spending day after day in pain, she was never scared. She was so hopeful and sure that everything would work out.

And she was right.

Amazingly, everything worked out for her in the end. She got her beautiful Renesmee, and her husband right along with her. Sure we had to go through the fits of the Volturi, but in the end it all worked out.

This sparked conversations and arguments between Carlisle and myself, many days and nights where I slept alone, sometimes in tears. I had Rosalie’s support naturally, I knew where her heart lied and it wasn’t necessarily with my happiness, but I knew if I ever were to meet death, my baby would be in safe hands.

Then there was Bella herself, who I also had the support of. Considering she went through the situation herself, with barely any support or knowledge of what could happen. She had a few conversations and advice for me and agreed I should try if I was able to accept the possible consequences.

However, Carlisle and his sons had the same viewpoint as him. They didn’t see the need to risk Carlisle’s eternal happiness with me for a small chance of having a baby. Alice too, was iffy on the situation. She saw the future and saw many different outcomes, some even including my own death.

Anyways, I simply tossed the negative test in the trash without a second look. As I wiped my tears with the back of my hand, I walked out of my room that was in my own house separate from Carlisle’s house. I barely came here, it was tiny and already paid off. But it still came in handy when I was just having human days and needed privacy. Or time to just think and be human without my adopted children or boyfriend being concerned. I was thinking I was pregnant, so I took a few days to myself at my house with a pregnancy test just in case.

But humans get old, and in the back of my mind I knew that I was running out of time for children. And I knew that turning me was in the back of Carlisle’s mind. We talked about it, a lot. And he did agree to it, but the problem was that I wanted to try for a baby before that happened. He knew that, everyone else knew it, it was just something I didn’t want to let go. Of course he opted for me to have a baby with another human or a sperm donor, caring more about my health and safety then blood relation. I mean none of his children now are related to him blood wise so obviously it wasn’t a problem for him.

But he knew that wasn’t going to work for me. But I know he still hoped I would give it up and just make peace with it.

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

I felt my phone vibrating and dancing slightly on my dresser by my bed. I walked over to it and picked it up, already having a feeling of who it was.

“Hello?” I answered sweetly over the phone, which I was met with that familiar voice. “Y/n, I was missing your voice, I am guessing you are at your home. Is everything alright?” I heard Carlisle question gently. “Oh yeah, I was just taking out the trash and making sure this house is still standing.” I half joked, hoping to sway him into thinking everything really was alright.

“Well, Alice and I really miss you. I hope you plan on coming home eventually.” He teased, in which my heart dropped. “Yes of course, I’ll be there shortly. Just have to sort the mail and I’ll be done.” I lied, partly, he didn’t need to know I did that two days ago. “Okay. I love you Y/N, drive safe.” He replied, as I agreed and said the I love you too and goodbye before hanging up.

Well, Alice and I really miss you.

Shit. He knows. Carlisle was always the one for gentleness. That was his way of saying I know what you’re really doing at the house, without actually saying it. I mentally scold Alice, you would think a girl would have another girls back. But considering she doesn’t agree with me having Carlisle’s baby, and then having a vision of me taking a pregnancy test doesn’t really surprise me she would tell him.

Jokes on him though, the test was negative so whatever panic and worry he’s going through right now will shortly be ended when I get to the house. But this was too quick for Alice to have a vision just moments after I took the test. He must have been asking her to look out for me. Which granted, was sneaky, but seemed to have been a page he took out of Edward’s book. Apples and trees one would assume.

****

I sighed, taking my car keys out of the ignition and took a deep breath.

Keep the tears in. Don’t let it show. You have psychic children who can read your thoughts and emotions.

I somewhat laugh at that thought, knowing I couldn’t say it aloud thanks to their super hearing, I smiled to myself loving my dysfunctional family even when the odds aren’t in my favor and they turn against me for their adopted father.

Once I step inside I feel my heart rise, it was off. All the children are in the room, sitting down looking worried. I say children as if they aren’t old enough to be my ancestors, but still. Surely Alice didn’t tell the entire family what’s going on in my uterus. Which, as a matter of fact, wasn’t much of her business to begin with.

“Y/n dear, won’t you come with me.” My love, Carlisle greeted, opening his arm out in a gesturing way. All his children eyeing me quietly, they sat so still like stone statues. Something was definitely off.

“Is everything okay? You guys look spooked.” I questioned, looking at Edward and Bella, who were the only relaxed ones there. “Where’s Nessie?” I look to Bella. “She’s with Jake. They are doing some painting class on the Res today. They’ll be back later.” Bella smiled, looking towards Edward with that look she’s had ever since he brought her home.

“I think we should just get to the point.” Rosalie anxiously interrupted sharply, before fixing her posture and smiling softly to try and recover from her abrupt remark. “Rose.” Edward cut off, scolding a little at her, which she didn’t even bother to look back at him.

“Get to what point?” I softly asked, more worried that this was more then just one of Alice’s visions of me. Was he kicking me out? Did something happen with the Wolves? Well no, not if Nessie was on the Res. Certainly Edward wouldn’t let that stand.

“Well, is there perhaps anything you would like to share before we begin?” Carlisle questioned calmly, with a soft face, and gentle eyes, no accusing stares or anger from him. So I wasn’t in trouble, and it most likely was about the test I took this morning. But I didn’t think this involved a family meeting, but then again with their super hearing I suppose there wasn’t any point for privacy anyhow.

“I took a pregnancy test. But it was negative. I’m sorry if I scared you guys.” I half apologized, however had a bit of fire in my tone. It wasn’t something I was exactly proud to spit out in front of my boyfriends children which half of, consisted of males. But the faces in the room looked confused, and twisted with uncertainty.

Oops. Maybe this isn’t what that was about.

Well that’s embarrassing, but I seriously couldn’t have thought of anything else I could have done to be trialed against the family like this.

“But that’s not possible. I thought you said-“

“Rose.” Emmett cut her off, as they all looked to Alice and Carlisle.

“My visions are from the future, it could still be too early for a positive test.” Alice defensively stated, taking a closer step to me.

“Yeah but we don’t know if it would even show up. I didn’t take one when I was pregnant with Renesmee.” Bella said across from the couch next to Edward, who was staring at me, no doubt reading my mind.

“Is this possible?” Rosalie asked, a glint of hope in her eyes as she looked to Carlisle.

“I don’t sense a heartbeat”

“It takes 4 weeks for a heartbeat”

“Again. Future.”

“She truly didn’t know. She’s not lying about the test”

“What part of future do you not get?”

“We still got time if we caught it ea-“

“That’s NOT your choice.”

“Woah. Everyone. Please does anyone care to fill me in?” I exclaim, feeling overwhelmed by all the familiar voices talking at once. They all suddenly go dead silent, looking over at their adoptive dad for permission.

I looked over at Carlisle who looks pained, and worried. But he also manages to look calm and lovingly at me. “Y/n my love, this morning Alice had a vision. You were pregnant, and you decided to keep it.” He carefully chose his words.

“Pregnant?” I choked out, suddenly feeling very cold and nauseous. However, I also felt like I could do a thousand cartwheels of joy. Rosalie stepped up and was at my side in seconds, grasping my shoulder gently. “Here, sit down.” She guided me back down to where she was previously sitting.

“Pregnant?” I whispered to myself again, not really processing what was going on around me. “That we know of, you could not be pregnant right now. There’s one way to know for sure though.” Carlisle explained, referring to the ultrasound machine that still lied up in the room where Bella spent a lot of time in when she was pregnant.

“Do you want to go see your baby?” Rosalie smiled, excitedly rubbing up and down my arms gently. “Rose we don’t know yet.” Edward replied, a hand on Bella’s shoulder. “Oh I know she is, I can tell. She’s glowing.” Rosalie snapped back joyfully, still smiling at me with hope.

And soon enough, it was Carlisle and I, in the empty room, with dead silence as he set up the machine. Emmett had to practically pry Rosalie from the room, and she was undoubtedly near by the closed door outside the room, listening to every word.

“You don’t seem excited.” I carefully pressed, acknowledging his nervousness. “I could have just potentially killed the only woman I’ve ever loved.” Carlisle replied, but not in a harsh way with any malice tone towards me, but rather himself.

“There is still a chance I’ll be fine. Bella made it, and we have more knowledge now.” I tried to reassure. But he didn’t seem to pay much attention to my words. “Y/n, love, nothing is worth risking your life to me. Nothing.” He grabbed a bottle that resembled gel.

“This might be cold.”

I nodded, my shirt already lifted up, as I laid down on the chair. “I do hope, I could talk to you into looking towards alternative choices. If you are pregnant.” He spoke, as his eyes were glued to the screen as he pressed slightly on my stomach with the camera.

“I can’t believe you.” I angrily stated, looking at the gray and white screen, trying to soak up the moment and not let Carlisle dampen my hope. It didn’t help I didn’t really know what I was looking at, the only ever time I saw one of these was when Bella was pregnant. I looked up at Carlisle, hoping I could find some sort of answer on his face.

“Dammit.” I heard him whisper. Before lifting up the piece of plastic on my belly and setting it down, shutting his eyes. I felt happiness surge me, warming me up from head to toe.

I was going to be a mother.

“By the looks of it, you are about two-three weeks pregnant.” He quietly said, not making eye contact with me. His hands were holding the end of the machine in a deadly grip. I reached over and grabbed one of his hands, he instantly relaxed his hand and let me hold it. I looked up at him and smiled happily, waiting for him to look at me back.

“It’s okay. I know we can do this, we are going to have a baby. Your going to be a dad, after all these years.” I reminded him, suddenly realizing how Bella was so happy and optimistic. I was bringing a life into this world, I was going to give Carlisle a baby after centuries of him never thinking he would be a biological father.

“I know you are happy Y/n, but I don’t want you to have to go through what Bella did knowing that I did this to you. And we barely got to Bella in time, what if it doesn’t work? I would have killed you. I can’t bare living eternity knowing I did that to you.”

“You didn’t do anything Carlisle, I chose this. I know what I’m getting myself into, I was there with Bella. And this time we don’t have to worry about facing a war with the wolves or the Volturi. We don’t have to worry about getting blood, we can do this. I know you’re scared, but I’m not. I have never felt so happy and hopeful, I know it won’t be easy but look at Edward and Bella, they have a daughter, and we could have that too.”

He looks down at me, just staring at me with a sorrowful gaze. It was just silence between us for a few moments, it looked as if he wanted to say a million things, but then thought against it. He held onto my hand, then rested my own hand on my stomach before letting it go.

“I’m not going to tell you what to do with your own body. But I don’t support this decision y/n.” And with that, he walked out of the room. Leaving the door open, and leaving me in quiet thoughts by myself. I looked down at my stomach where my baby was growing, I smiled happily to myself,

My baby.

It felt so surreal and powerful, knowing I had Carlisle’s baby inside me, a vampires baby. I knew I should feel at least a little bit scared, knowing the bruising and broken bones that were about to come, but I couldn’t help but not fear it even a little bit. I fought so hard for this baby and I knew I could handle it, I had Bella and Rosalie, and that’s more support then Bella ever had when she was pregnant herself.

“Are you okay?”

I turned my head to the sweet voice that broke the silent room. It was Rose, her beautiful blonde hair appearing from the door. She had a smile on her face, and glowing eyes of joy. And behind her stood Bella, her tiny frame almost impossible to see behind Rosalie. I smiled, nodding to the two vampires, and gesturing them to come in.

“I guess it’s time to pick some names.” Bella responded, light heartedly trying to soften the mood. “I hope it’s another girl.” Rosalie said, resting a soft hand on my shoulder, glancing at the now turned off machine. “Carlisle will come around, he may not support your decision… but he will always support you. He loves you, we all have seen it.” Rosalie reassures, lifting me up slightly.

“Now, what would you like to eat?”

*****

It wasn’t long before my stomach started to swell up. Bella was right, it was not a human pregnancy, it was a lot faster. I looked about 6 months pregnant, my belly was slightly bruised like Bella’s was, but I had been on blood supplements sooner then she had so it was much easier.

Rosalie and I were shopping almost everyday for baby clothes until I started getting really big. Then we opted for online shopping, and eventually Alice came around and started being more involved, claiming if the baby was going to be born then it was going to be born into fashion properly.

Jasper and Emmett were betting on the baby’s gender, Jasper and Edward thought it was a boy and Emmett was on team girl with Rosalie and Alice. They have all voted on names and clothes, like a regular normal family. Nessie was excited to get a aunt/uncle however, for her sake we just said cousin, no need for technicalities.

Then there was Carlisle, who like Rosalie said, did come around. He was always by my side, asking me a thousand questions and making sure I was comfortable, not too hot or cold, if I was hungry, if I was tired, if the baby was kicking, etc.

He was even dare I say it….excited. He told a few of his close friends about the baby and would go upstairs with me everyday to get ultrasound pictures of the baby and tape them in a photo album book he had. His hands would always be gently around my belly or on my hand, asking me how I felt and how the baby felt. Carlisle also had everything planned out and written down, he was very determined for everything to go smoothly and as easy as possible.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had a broken rib here and there, and it did hurt. My stomach felt like it would burst at times, the bruised skin needed ice packs and heating pads at times. But it was a magical feeling, I knew I was doing something incredible and almost impossible.

And I knew I was getting close to the due date, we estimated it with the help of a Bella’s pregnancy even though her birth was an emergency. I wasn’t scared, or nervous. I knew that what was meant to be would be and that panicking would solve nothing or help anything. I did sense Carlisle’s nervousness though, and we had many conversations the closer it got to birth, he tried to stay strong and calm collected for my own sake, but there wasn’t a need. I had everything I wanted.

Alice had looked at my future numerous of times, and the closer the date came, the more visions she got of me living and surviving the birth, then being turned into a vampire. She of course, along with Edward, were the only two that knew the baby’s gender. I voted for it to be a surprise, and Carlisle agreed with it.

Rosalie and Alice had renovated one of the spare rooms into a nursery, using gray since it was a neutral color and there was no spoilers before I had the baby. They were both so excited, Rosalie especially. And Bella put together everything I would need for the baby, and prepped multiple bags and shelves with baby supplies and toddler stuff since my baby would not stay a baby for very long.

Emmett and Jasper even built a little play ground out in the back of the woods for Renesmee and my baby, which certainly made Nessie happy. And Edward would come by and sit with me, telling me what if felt like to read by baby’s mind. Reminiscing when it was Bella and his baby and what it was like to read his baby’s thoughts.

Everything was perfect, it couldn’t have been better.

****

Today was the day. I was going to give birth to my miracle baby, Carlisle had did the measurements and all the tests and scans and the baby was ready to come out. And fingers crossed, that it would go a lot more smoothly then Bella’s birth.

Everyone was nervous and jittery, Jasper had me questioning if he was using his mojo on me or Carlisle, probably both. But everything was set and most the family was sitting in the room with us. It was very quite and very calm, they all gave reassuring looks and feedback during the set up of the room. Carlisle was just done setting everything up then quietly looked my way.

“Are you okay?” He stated,

“If this-“

“When” I cut my lover off, looking up at him and holding his hand confidently before finishing.

“When this works out, yes, I know this is my last moment as a human. You will use the morphine, and anesthesia to put me out and then perform the C section, then turn me once the baby is out. It’s fine, you’ve told me a million of times. I’m ready.”

He looked down lovingly at me and gently rested his hand on my abnormally swollen belly. Taking in the last few moments with his human girlfriend before our baby was brought into the world.

“Are you ready?” I questioned, raising my eyebrows playfully. He smiled, before stroking my head with his icy cold hand. “Ready as I can be.” I heard his voice as he walked behind me to the machines.

I looked up at Rosalie and Bella, who were in the chairs next to me, while Alice and Edward stood behind me with Carlisle. They all looked very intense and stiff. “Alright guys. I guess I’ll see you on the other side. Take lots of pictures of my baby, Rose, make sure you share.” I joked, getting a few laughs out of my soon-to-be vampire family. Hoping to lighten the mood before I get put out.

I felt Carlisle’s hand on my shoulder, slowly guiding me to lay down on the table I was sat on. I looked up at the white ceiling, taking in the last few seconds of my humanity. I rose my hands and lifted my chin to take one last look of my pregnant belly, and felt Carlisle inject a cold fluid in my IV.

I turned my head to the side to look at him, he had one hand out, which was holding my closest hand. I didn’t even notice when he went to grab it. Then he took one last look at me, and whispered something. I couldn’t seem to catch what it was, already feeling the effects of the anesthesia.

I laid my head back on the table and noticed the ceiling getting darker, and darker. I also felt the sleepy euphoria take over my body. Then I closed my eyes and was met with darkness, my last thought of a face that I knew all too well.

Carlisle.

“I love you Carlisle.” I managed to get out before the darkness consumed me.

****

I woke up, suddenly conscious. However, it was odd. I didn’t feel groggy, or stiff. I felt alive, fresh, if you will. I felt as if I could hear every speck of dust fall inside the room I was in.

Room.

I looked around, it was a room I was unfamiliar with. It was a room with four pastel blue walls decorated with shelves full of wooden animals and plastic toys. Besides me was an old fashion white crib, with distrusted blue blankets. I was lying on a bed that looked as if was brand new, with freshly new sheets that smelt of soap and linen. Then I heard a swift sound of someone entering the room.

“Y/n. You’re awake.”

I looked up at my love, Carlisle, who had a biggest smile on his face and looked as if he would start crying. I studied him harder, I could see every piece of blonde hair on his head and every crease in his clothes. “Wow.” Was all I mustered out, soaking up the newly senses of being a vampire.

He chuckled, taking a step towards me and extending his hand. I looked down at it and could smell something, it was a mix of daisies and soap. I could also sense the warmth from it. “You have been holding the baby.” I almost cried out, looking around the room once more. Which was obviously the nursery, covered in blue.

“I’m gonna take a wild guess and say it’s a boy.” I finished, motioning quite fast around room. In which he laughed again, nodding as he took his hand in line. “How did you know.” He said before He wrapped me into a hug, in which I succeeded in not crushing him in half, which was something Bella managed to remind me about before I went under.

“I want to see him. Please.”

Carlisle looked down at me and then motioned something in the room beside us. I didn’t seem to notice it before, but now that I did I felt like a fire had arisen up my throat. I felt like tearing it to pieces and getting inside of it. It was a fridge, and I didn’t need to open it to know it was full of blood.

“Ladies first.” I heard him say, as milliseconds went by and almost ripped the door straight off the hinges and tore into a bag. It tasted amazing, to say at the least but I could tell it was animal blood. Which was good enough for me, the sooner I finished this bag the sooner I could hold my son for the first time.

“I figured you’d want to see the baby as soon as you could.” Carlisle said, gently closing the fridge behind me, motioning towards the fridge. “But after you do, we can go out and hunt down some fresh blood.” He continued, as he started leading me out the door. “How is he?” I asked, referring to my baby, looking around the halls that seemed totally different then before. I could see every speckle on the wall and hear every creak underneath our feet that I never heard before. “Great, it’s only been two days. Rosalie is soaking up his attention right now.”

We walked downstairs into the living room where I saw all my family sitting around a tiny wrapped up figure in Rosalie’s arms. They all looked at me and a few smiled while Emmett greeted me. “Hey y/n, good news, definitely not the milk man’s baby.” While Bella punched his side playfully. A few laughs came out from Jasper and Edward.

“Oh good, had me worried there for a minute. It’s not like it was an abnormal pregnancy.” I joked back, making my way towards the blue ball of blanket. Rosalie looked up to me and then lifted the baby towards me, laying him gently in my arms. I was taken aback in shock. The baby was quite literally a spitting image of Carlisle, from his hair to his cheek bones, I didn’t see a hint of my genes in him.

“Wow. Talk about Carlisle.” I concurred, cradling my baby in my arms. He was perfect, he had his tiny little eyes closed, with his beautiful little puffy cheeks, and his bleach blonde hair that was more like fuzz then anything. I could feel his warmth seep into my arms and chest, he definitely had human in him. But that’s about the only thing he seemed to get from me.

I looked up at Carlisle who was watching me and our baby. “I told you I could do it.” I teased, taking my eyes back onto my baby. Who just started to open his eyes. He cooed, reaching up towards me with a faint smile. I looked down giggling a bit, rocking him.

“Why hello love, welcome to the world.”

And in that moment, I knew I had everything I could ever have.

[the-masked-ram]

Speak Up- Sebastian (stardew) x GN!reader

A/N: Vent drabble to deal with too many emotions CW: Angst with a happy ending, Anxiety, mentions of sebastian leaving (doesn't happen), kissing ---

You reach out to him, desperate for him not to walk farther away. Your fingers search for his skin in the darkness that separate both of you. The shadows are of your own creation, they come with the short breaths and the thorns that tangle around your heart. Those prickling vines that twist around you ribs and spread up your throat.

You can't speak but relief floods you, pushing tears to your eyes, as you feel your fingers touch his palm. Sebastian turns, surprise fills his gaze, followed quickly by recognition.

He isn't going far, he is just going to Zuzu, the long distance will hurt but it's not the end. That's what he promises at least, but the wrenching of those horrible and nasty thorns in your tender flesh remind you of the pain, only the pain. They take away your hope.

You open your mouth, nothing but a strangled whine leaves your lips. You told him to go, you didn't want to hold him back, but here you are with your hands tangled together and tears streaming down your face.

He doesn't wait another beat of your frantic heart. He drops his helmet to the ground and drags you to him, so hard that you almost collapse against his chest. His scent of freshly cut pine, cinnamon, stale cigarettes, and the leather of his jacket fill your lungs, making you finally breathe. The exhale comes out in a wracking sob, it's ugly and twisted but it's such a relief because you no longer feel like you are drowning.

"D-don't," you breathe, it's too late you know it, but you say it anyways. "D-don't go-o."

Your words are broken by your wails on the mountain top behind his house and his fingers sink deep into your skin, finding purchase in the nape of your neck and your barely cotton covered shoulders.

"You mean it?" he asks, hazel eyes searching yours as if this is the words he's been waiting for.

You are the catalyst that's always been able to sway him from the path he always thought was his only choice. You nod, the guilt and shame at your selfish answer unfurls inside you but that you can deal with. Not the crushing agony, not the fear you might never see him again.

"Fuck," he sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "Why the fuck didn't you say so sooner? I could've..."

He shakes his head and wipes away your tears with gloved hands, ones that let his fingers peek out and allow you to feel the direct contact of his warmth.

"I won't go, but I need to...," he looks to the side and purses his lips. "I need to switch to a remote job. And I sure as hell need to move out of that house."

He shoots a scathing glare toward his mom's house behind the two of you.

"So that means you are stuck with me well and good, right? You ready for that?" he breathes, his lips hovering over yours as he uses one hand to angle your face towards him. "You ready to live with this mess?"

You laugh and every fear that had been building these last few months shatters, "I would only be so lucky."

He crushes his lips to yours, the kiss deep, slow, and he strokes his tongue against yours until you can't think of anything but the way he tastes. You can't think of anything but your fingers in his hair and the way his grip on your jaw and neck has tightened. It almost hurts but this pain is worth it.

[f4llingtoyou]

what am i missing? - min ho x reader (teaser)

Of all the mistakes that Min Ho regrets, he thinks you’re the worst.

wc: 0.5k an: this is a written prologue/teaser for a smau i'm planning!! no promises on when the smau will be ready HDJFDF but i hope you enjoy this in the mean time :)

Of all the mistakes that Min Ho regrets, he thinks you’re the worst.

Not that you did anything wrong. He hates to admit it, but really, you did everything right. And maybe he just got too comfortable drawing lines in the sand. 

He didn’t realize it would break your heart. You’d taken his rejection with grace, and he hadn’t realized anything was wrong until your messages were few and far between and you stopped showing up to all your favorite places for fear of running into him. 

You knew, after all. You knew he wasn’t the type for commitment, and your eyes would always linger on the red bruises peeking from beneath his collar. It hurt that you couldn’t have him, not in the way you wanted, while he spent his nights pressing his lips to other people’s skin in fleeting promises.

You knew, and he knew, and yet you’d somehow both ended up lost in the aftermath of it all. 

He thinks of that one night - the one where he had you tangled up in his arms and on his tongue until he woke up in the morning and you were gone without a trace.

You wanted more, and maybe he was ready for more, when he felt your fingertips bruising his ribs and your smile sliding against his lips, but it was lost in translation and he can’t blame you for running before you got hurt. You deserve more, more than he thinks he can offer, but it doesn’t stop him from missing you like you were ever his to miss in the first place.

He didn’t think he would ever see you again. But here he is, catching your eye across the dance floor.

It’s only seconds, but it feels like a lifetime as he watches your face fall and splinter at the seams. He remembers when you’d smile at the sight of him instead.

He swallows thickly. 

Your lips press into a line, heartbreak masquerading as a smile. He breaks the eye contact first. He’s a coward. Like always.

He can’t help himself from looking back, but you’re gone so fast he feels like he’s dreaming. (In his dreams, you never even look at him at all.)

You looked good - sickeningly good, the way it leaves a bitter taste on his tongue. It’s unfair how in a room full of people, you still have all his undivided attention. It’s unfair, but you occupy his every waking thought anyway. The memories fill up his lungs like he’s drowning.

You’re wearing that outfit he loves, even though it’s not his place to love anything about you anymore. He tells himself that he’s pathetic. Because really, you deserve everything he couldn’t give you. He drinks in the sight of your happiness and chokes on the taste because he could never make you smile that way. He wonders if you’ve moved on the way he’s incapable of, if his name still gets caught in your throat the way your name gets caught in the beating of his heart.

Something like jealousy has his stomach turning when he thinks about you going home with somebody who isn’t him. It’s nauseating. His guilt tastes like your lips.

He downs the rest of his drink and slides out of his chair.

Don’t think about it, he tells himself, even though it’s all he can think about. 

You weren’t his, after all. You never were.

[wroef]

Theory on how Barbara died and Rick's disappearance. Based partially on/inspired by this post:

https://www.tumblr.com/dilfgmancoolatta/696764411466121216/thinking-abt-what-if-barbara-wasnt-violently?source=share

Okay.

So I saw this post and it sparked this theory of mine.

You see, I never really bought that Rick was responsible for Barbara's death given the fact he was on crutches at the time.

Not to mention the comic is not very reliable (since Edith signed off on it and might not have really liked Rick much, in my opinion).

So.. here's the theory:

They didn't have cellphones back then and Rick probably didn't walk to Barb's. His parents either drove him there or Barb did.

So if she kicked him out and didn't let him call home, he probably decided to suck it up (cause toxic masculinity) and walk home.

Only...

Barbara lives near the ocean. On uneven land. Surrounded by forest. And wild animals.

And it was night.

Rick probably got lost.

And it was Halloween.

It was probably cold.

So either he succumbed to the elements or got attacked by an animal.

Or maybe he went to seek shelter in a cave or went to chill by the ocean. Waiting for his parents to pick him up (if they had drove him) or for Barbara to cool off. Only to fall asleep and get pulled in by the tide.

Hence him disappearing that night.

(My friend pointed out that his crutch was found by the water).

I hear you say... How did Barbara die?

Well. They focus on the skates.

So I'm thinking one of the boys (Walter or the twins or all three) were playing with Barbara's skates before she got home and since the place was cluttered, she probably didn't see them and slipped. Tripping over the railing. Breaking it and falling to her death.

And of course, Walter would be messed up whether he was playing with the skates or not (suggested in the link) because he just saw his older sister die.

And well.

Edie might have blamed Rick for Barbara's death if he disappeared or just for not stopping it since he was there earlier.

Also Walter would be even more messed up because of how strongly his mom believed in the curse after the death of his uncle and grandparents and both his sisters.

And as more deaths started to happen, it'd probably cause a lot of stress. Especially with nobody getting help for him.

I don't know how much of this disjointed mess makes sense but I hope it does make a little sense.

Ooh, this is interesting!

I've never been of the opinion that Rick killed Barbara either, for starters. My guess was the serial killer or maybe some crazed fan(s?) mad that she wasn't able to make her appearance at the convention. I'll need more time to sit on this new theory but I do think it's worth considering

I do wonder though, if we assume that was true, why does he blame the monster for Calvin's death? He arguably has the most cut and dry of Walter's siblings (that he's aware of anyway, him not mentioning Sam makes me think he might not know he died which is :(( but anyway), and while I guess it could be the guilt mentioned I have to imagine that at the very least Sam would try to clear that up? Maybe he did and Walter just didn't believe him, though. It's hard to say. That's something that's bothered me long before I got this ask tbf

As far as the Rick part, yeah him drowning somewhere does make sense. Now that you mention it I wouldn't be surprised if he tripped around that river and cracked his head there.

(Happy birth/deathday queen. RIP Barbara)

-Mod Edith

[ninjagirlstar5]

Protag Teruya AU - Akane Taira Design

Hello, Akane. I heard you were suppose to be dead.

Since Teruya being the Protag would change certain aspects of the plot, even without the Wheel of Fate playing a factor in who lives and who dies when, I had to figure out how certain plot elements of SDRA2 canon would find it’s way into the AU’s plot. Namely, who joins Rei in trying to stop the killing game from happening in the prologue and how the Divine Luck gets involved. And my brain supplied with, “Hey, since Akane has Divine Luck, just make her survive thanks to that and not be brain dead, and have her help the Kisaragi Foundation on this one mission to save Yuki and Teruya.” And I went, “Fantastic idea, can’t wait for the angst.”

As you can see by looking at Akane’s eyes, she is...NOT doing well mentally. The girl has bags under her eyes and is missing her pupils because she’s very much dead inside. After all, she did sacrifice all of her friends for the sake of her Master Utsuro in the hopes of making him happy, even going as far as to join the Ultimate Despair even though she really didn’t like them. And as she starts to die from her wounds, Utsuro gives her Divine Luck before the island sinks underwater, which allows her to survive from drowning and ends up washing onto shore. She’s eventually found and treated at a hospital, but she’s in complete despair at the realization that she outlived her own master. I won’t go into full details but she eventually leaves the hospital, wanders around for a bit and ends up in the care of a middle-aged man named Kanato Chikafuji, an OC of mine who runs an orphanage and is very kind to both the kids and Akane. He pretty much helped her get her back on her feet while providing a safe place she can always return to.

Which is also why Akane looks pretty clean compared to Utsuro. Kanato encourages her to take better care of herself, even if she “doesn’t have to,” and she at least feels a little better whenever she does. Akane ends up taking a maid-like appearance once more, if only because she’s trying to put distance between herself and Kanato due to the guilt she has for what she’s done up to this point. But Kanato isn’t having any of the “master” BS and keeps asking her to at least use “-san” instead of “-sama” if she’s going to keep being formal with him. Even when she finally allows herself to grow closer to him and the orphans, she still keeps up this appearance as she helps with the cleaning and cooking due to Kanato’s bad leg and some of the older kids struggling to help due to past injuries from an incident. Akane isn’t always around as she wanders around Japan to use the Divine Luck to help undo the damage the Despairs caused, to try and redeem herself from everything she’s done. But she always comes back to the orphanage if she ever feels like she wants to rest. The raincoat is based off of Yuki’s coat a little bit but I made the design different to differentiate her from Yuki. It’s also a gift from Kanato and the kids from the orphanage and she treasures it very much.

As for how Akane manages to get her way onto the mission to rescue Teruya and Yuki...let’s just say a certain journalist managed to get his hands on some information he shouldn’t have and posted it everywhere he could. Which is how she found out about Teruya’s missing status and realized, “Oh shit, he’s in danger. I gotta help him!” Akane never met up with the others as she understood that they would NOT be happy to see her. But after hearing the news, she decides that if she wanted to make things right, she had to at least help them get Teruya back into safe hands, even if they would rather execute her on the spot. It’s not like they could as the Divine Luck user anyways. And upon realizing that she DOES have the Divine Luck, both Rei and Kinjo would be pissed but the latter is much more willing to use her as a tool to make sure Teruya comes back safely. As for Yuki, Akane did try to look for him to wake him up from the coma she and Utsuro put him in, but he was already gone by the time she went back to the hideout they hid him in. She had hoped someone had brought him to a hospital to take care of him, but alas, that wasn’t the case as the group quickly finds out that Yuki Maeda was going to be involved in a Killing Game. The same one that Teruya will be put into. So once they get the location from Setsuka, who unfortunately gets caught after managing to give them the information and is also dragged into the Killing Game, the group goes in to rescue them and stop the Killing Game from starting in the first place.

Unfortunately for them, things quickly go awry because Kokoro had made a failsafe that prevented her from getting killed on the spot and she summons a mech in the fountain. An explosion ends up launching Akane through the air, leaving Rei unprotected and she ends up crashing into the ocean. And while Akane still remembers the Proto-Killing Game, she’s...understandable unwilling to talk about it due to the fact that she helped mastermind it in the first place. It wouldn’t exactly help her credibility if everyone found out about it. And unfortunately, she’s not used to using the Divine Luck and often has to physically be there to prevent certain tragedies from happening or keeping things from going from bad to worse. Because if I don’t put a damn limit on this deus ex machina power, the plot would’ve been over at the Prologue.

The Protag Teruya AU was inspired by @/anotherprofessional’s post! Beware of Void spoilers though!

[uncannysam]

PARTIES: @dirtwatchman @uncannysam TIMING: Mid-December SUMMARY: Sam decides to hit up the local record shop. Struggling to go in, since it was a favorite place to frequent with Zach, she's caught by Caleb talking to herself, who gives her a friendly little nudge forward, and once inside the pair strike up a conversation about music. WARNINGS: None!

Buying new records had been a guilty pleasure for Sam when things got hard, or she just wanted to treat herself. But it had always been something she did with Zach. Something she had given up doing for a couple of months now, since that fateful night in the alley. And while she had sworn she was going to never go back, give up any kind of happiness really, for the cowardness she showed that night and the guilt she felt, here she stood at the entrance of their favorite place to hang out together, tears threatening to come out.

“Dammit. Quit being a coward and just go through the fucking door. You know Zach would be making fun of your stupid ass right now.” It was under her breath, just low enough that she hoped no one had heard, but a wave of embarrassment flooded her body, when she noticed someone staring at her as they walked past, “Sorry. Just deciding if I want to spend the money or not.” Sam stepped to the side as she still struggled to make up her mind.

---

Weekly trips to the record store was something he’d started as soon as Caleb was making his own money. He didn’t always buy anything with his finances but he did like to go and check out any new releases that had come in over the weekends and it had been a tradition for him for so many years now that it felt wrong to stop. Music was a big part of who he was, it had helped him get through many nights stuck at the Ellsworth house as he sat there drowning out the yelling with even louder bands playing heavy guitar riffs. Now the music just filled the silence that engulfed his life. He didn’t know which had been worse.

Walking up to the store, he spotted a young girl talking to herself, amping herself up to try and go inside. The words had him slowing his steps and Caleb couldn’t help but stop to look at her. Eyes watering, looking like she was exhausted, she seemed like she could use some help. “Uh, well…you could always just look. That’s what I do when I don’t want to give up food for the week.” He paused, biting the inside of his lip as he looked her over again. “Are you okay?”

---

His voice cut through the haze in her mind. Sam had been worn out lately, and she was still trying to process if what she had been seeing was actually real or something else. Something worse. What she had seen the night Zach died appeared to be real. How could such a small woman lift up her friend and choke him to death, and on top of that, all those other people…eating him. It was like the life she had known had become a living, breathing nightmare.

“Huh? Oh. Yeah, that’s not a bad idea actually.” Sam had almost been afraid to look upwards at the man who was towering over her out of fear that he, too, was something other than normal, and when she finally had the courage to, her heart nearly beating out of her chest, she found he was just another average human being. Damn boy, you got hit with the pretty stick. Shut up, Sam. “Yeah, yeah. I’m good. Just a little tired is all.” She looked back over towards the door, “After you, Prince Pretty.” Fuck.

---

Prince Pretty? What? Had he heard her right? Had to have. Why would he have created that in his mind? The girl looked like she was pretty out of it anyway so he wasn’t going to pay too much attention to it even if he was flattered. Clearing his throat, Caleb stepped up to the door and held it open for her, deciding to ignore the comment. She did just say she was tired after all. “No, after you.”

As he walked in after her, his eyes roamed the familiar shelves that felt like home. All of the usuals were there but Caleb had the new arrivals section in mind, heading that way as he spoke to the girl again. “Is there anything in particular that you’re looking for? I know you’re just browsing but it’s always nice to see new stuff from your favorite people if they’re out.” His fingers ran over the edge of a Taking Back Sunday album as he continued walking, knowing it was on his list for future purchases if he could bring himself to spend the money. 

---

That’s always the best way to greet somebody you don’t know. Call them fucking Prince Pretty. A tint of red spread across her cheeks as she let her eyes fall to the ground, and she tucked her hypothetical tail between her legs. Yeah, if Zach was here, he’d be making fun of her so hard right now, “I’m just gonna…yeah.” Sam didn’t have to say much as she moved through the doorway. The embarrassment had seemed to keep her mind off of prior thoughts about not wanting to enter the store though.

Once inside, the familiar smell of vinyl and mustiness from the old building washed over Sam like a cool wave on a hot summer day. It felt like home and familiarity and regardless of her friend not being here with her physically, his memory was definitely still alive and making her smile, “Uh, no. Not really. Me and a friend used to come here pretty often, and this is the first time back since…yeah.” She let her eyes look towards the Taking Back Sunday record, before spotting the latest Ice Nine Kills album. Are you jelly right now, Zachers? Cause this shit is about to be all mine. Sam glanced up towards the ceiling.

---

The red cheeks were evidence of so many things to Caleb at that moment. First, he knew that she wasn’t undead like himself but that didn’t necessarily mean human, and second he knew that he had heard her right. His lips quirked up, even more flattered, but he still stayed quiet on the subject. At the mention of her friend though, he looked up sharply and watched as she trailed off, his mind pulling pieces together. Was that why she was almost in tears when she was standing outside? 

Maybe she needed a friend now that her other one wasn’t around for whatever reason, a reason that seemed dark now that she was looking to the ceiling. Spotting the album in front of her, Caleb decided to continue the conversation in hopes that he might be able to help her out a little. “I’ve never heard of them. What are they like?”

---

Sam lowered her gaze back to the record and reached out for it, “Hell yeah! It’s the Silver Scream Splatter vinyl.” Taking it into her hands, she flipped it over and looked over the track listing. She had heard it a million times on Spotify (thank goodness for premium), but had held off on buying it out of the grief and guilt she had been feeling. But for whatever reason, today felt different. Especially with someone by her side. It didn’t seem so…lonely.

Looking up at Prince Pretty, Sam grinned, “Honestly, I didn’t know about them until my friend introduced me to their music many years ago. But they’re metal, so if you're not into that or horror movies, you might not like them.” Sitting the album back down, she pulled out her phone and opened up Spotify. “I listen to them way too much so they’re already at the top.” Like he needed to know that. Scrolling down, she pressed play on their most popular song, “A Grave Mistake”, before handing him her phone.

---

The sheer excitement that she held as she picked up the album was enough to calm Caleb’s worry to a degree. Music was a godsend, life saving for many including himself, and he’d always loved seeing the passion that others held for it. It was heartwarming. She had seemed so sad when he’d first walked up on her so it was nice to see that something could light her up like that. “Well, Avenged Sevenfold is one of my favorite bands but I’m not too much into horror movies.” He had enough horrors in his life, he didn’t need to add to it. “So this could go either way.”

He’d momentarily forgotten that music could be pulled up so quickly with a smart device. Caleb preferred record players, even old walkmans, but he’d ventured into this app a couple of years ago. He just kept forgetting it was a thing. “At the top, right.” He guessed that meant that it was in a favorite list of hers or something. As he listened to the song, he found himself smiling, his head nodding along the best he could with this type of music and his lack of rhythm. “They’re not bad. I could see adding them to my rotation.”

---

Sam watched as he moved along to the music. Her mind flashed back to when Zach had first introduced her. It wasn’t something she had expected to like. She had liked rock music. Classic stuff and music that her parents had listened to. She had grown up on stuff like The Clash and The Ramones, never venturing to anything harder than Green Day or Ozzy Osbourne, but Zach made all the difference. As soon as he played their music, she was hooked. Of course their sound was pretty different back then, but from there, she went down a metal rabbit hole, “Oh, I love A7X. And, yeah, if I see you around town, and you’ve listened to more of their stuff, I’d love to know your opinion.”

Without Zach here now, Samantha didn’t really have anyone to talk music with. There had always been her parents, but they didn’t listen to screamo or the stuff she vibed with most days, so it was hard. “What about you? What are you into?” As the song finished playing, Sam reached up and took her phone back, closing out the app in the process, and shoving it back into her pocket.

---

“Oh, for sure. I’m usually loitering around but you’ll most likely see me here again.” Loitering was not the best word to use there, Caleb wincing after it came out of his mouth. He was doing too much of that lately as it was, he wouldn’t be surprised if he was gaining a reputation as a creep around town. The creepy maintenance man who hangs out in cemeteries more often than not and stares at people…well, that sounded awful. “I just mean you’d probably see me around town. I don’t blend in that well.” Probably not another great thing to say. He was doing so well.

What was he into? Music was such a vast topic and he always hated that question only because Caleb knew he was going to forget important bands in his life. He always did. “My favorite, hands down, are The Smashing Pumpkins. I don’t know why I’ve just always loved them.” He knew why. They’d always been there for him. Whenever they were having a bad night at the Ellsworth house and he couldn’t escape he could turn the band on and drown everything out. They would take over his world for however long he needed, always there with a loud guitar or jarring lyrics. “Avenged Sevenfold, as stated, Brand New, Greenday, Three Days Grace…I could go on…”

---

Loitering? Who is this guy? Sam could tell the more he spoke, the more awkward it had gotten, but it was okay. She was used to awkward, because Zach had been awkward at times, and he often made her laugh. Plus, Caleb was tall, and she could see what he meant by not blending in well. Of course everyone was tall compared to her short little ass. “Ah, right. Being tall and all?” She laughed softly, “I get what you’re saying. My best friend was tall and awkward too. You kind of remind me of him just a little bit.” She looked down for a moment thinking of Zach, before putting her attention back on the guy in front of her and their conversation.

“Wow, such an eclectic taste, but I love it. Those are some solid bands. I grew up on Green Day cause my parents loved their music. And I may have had a little crush on Billie Joe. But that stays between you, me, and the posters on my bedroom wall at my parents’ house.” Sam turned her attention back on the albums, “You been in town long? I’ve seen a lot of new faces over the past several months, including some famous actress. I swear Wicked’s Rest gets weirder and weirder by the day.” That was an understatement considering what Sam could now do. “I’m Sam, by the way. I don’t think I ever introduced myself.” She turned back around and stuck her hand out.

---

“Yea, the tall thing, exactly.” Technically, it was the truth. He’d gotten used to slouching over the years, shrinking in on himself to try and hide away from a world that wasn’t so kind. He’d done it so often that he’d started having back issues before…well, he died. Now he could do it all he wanted without worrying. Clocking in another mention of this friend of hers, Caleb cleared his throat as he prepared for the awkward question that was coming. It seemed like she wanted to talk about him, and he was always willing to lend an ear. “You uh, you talk about this friend a lot. Are you guys fighting or something?” The zombie hoped that was all it was but somehow he knew the answer was going to be no.

“I don’t know about eclectic. I just like loud music. Loudness helps. I think at some point some people were also calling me emo? I don’t really know what that means though.” If he could say anything about this girl it would be that she didn’t seem that shy. Willingly admitting to a crush in front of someone she didn’t know at all, even if the crush was a celebrity, was something he wouldn’t have done himself. “Your secret is safe with me, promise. I don’t even know who I would tell anyway. Anyone else you’d recommend?” 

The question made him chuckle, Caleb far from new. It was nice to know that he could still blend in. Maybe his efforts hadn’t been in vain. “Not new, no. I’ve actually been here my whole life. But I know what you mean with the new faces.” A lot of those new faces he’d seen actually turning up dead. Tourists were a big target, that was for sure. “Oh, you mean Mack? I think she mentioned that she was an actress.” Something that made him nervous, even more so now that he knew people would recognize her if something happened. “Oh, uh, Caleb. Nice to meet you.” His eyes went to her hand, the zombie nodding to her instead of reaching out himself. Hopefully she just took that as him not liking physical contact and not personally.

---

“It’s okay. I’m pretty fucking short and have gotten jokes about it my whole life.” It was one of the reasons why she had latched onto the little outcast boy the first year of being in Wicked’s Rest, because he didn’t make fun of her. At least not until they had gotten older, but by then, it was okay, because it was him. Anyone else and she’d throw them the bird or tell them to ‘fuck off’. “Zach, uh…” Sam had somewhat quieted down when the man standing in front of her asked his question. He was right, she had talked about him a lot for the short time they had been communicating without really realizing it, so it was only fair, “No, he…he died a couple of months ago. Um, sorry. I didn’t really realize I was talking about him so much.”

Sam was appreciative of the subject change to loud music, “But, yeah, loud music helps. Especially if you just want to rage out you know? Sometimes it’s needed. And emo? It’s like emotional hardcore. My Chemical Romance falls into that. Jimmy Eat World. And if anybody is making fun of you for it, they’re probably emo too. Unless they listen to that redneck bro country bullshit.” She shuddered at the thought. “I like country, but not country that talks about eating at fucking Applebees.” Sam felt strongly about her music. “As for recommendations, if you’re open to something other than rock, you should check out The Halluci Nation. A good song to start with is “Electric Pow Wow Drum.” But if you’re strictly rock, I also like Barns Courtney.”

“Wow, sorry I didn’t recognize you. For Wicked’s Rest to be so small, it’s still pretty big you know?” Sam had made it a point to explore the small town she was living in when she had been old enough to do so, but there were still untapped places she’d never ventured out to. He must have been in one of those places. “So there really is an actress living here then? Wow. That’s pretty cool. I’m guessing you know her?” She noticed he didn’t return the handshake and tried not to take it too personal, letting her hands instead go to some random album, “It’s nice to meet you, Caleb.” She had put her focus back on the whole reason she had come into the store.

---

“Don’t be sorry.” Caleb almost regretted asking the question. Dealing with as many grieving people as he has over the years he thought that he’d be better at comforting others during a time of loss. He was mostly in the background, yes, but it was sometimes hard to escape loved ones when a body was involved. Yet, he was still as awkward as ever when these situations arose. “Don’t feel bad for talking about someone you loved. It should make you feel better.” With Jack gone, he also knew that sometimes just speaking about him made him happy. Just remembering the person they were was always nice and brought back good memories. “I shouldn’t have brought it up, I’m sorry.”

Her words had him raising an eyebrow, curious about what she meant. “Rage out? How do you rage out? Truthfully, I just like tuning the world out with it. There’s nothing like sitting in your room with the music as loud as you can stand it while ignoring every problem I’ve ever had.” He had to laugh as she went on about the ��bro country’ as she called it, but it also made him realize how singular his tastes really were as he’d never heard the phrase before. “I like Jimmy Eat World too, I’ve heard of My Chemical Romance but never listened to them. As for singing about Applebees…what?” He kept the names of every artist she was saying in mind, planning on checking out some of them later. A lot of them sounded interesting.

“Oh, no, again you don’t have to be sorry. You know how many tourists we get around here? New faces all the time, I get it.” Nodding, his mind went to his newest client as the worries of his business started to seep back into place after a temporary lull. He still owed Mack a delivery and Caleb knew he’d probably have to sacrifice some of his personal stock for it. “Yea, I’ve talked to her a few times. She’s pretty cool, kind of secluded though so I’m not sure how much she likes being recognized.” Noticing that she was putting all of her attention towards the albums, he sighed softly, trying to explain so that he didn’t seem like too much of a jerk. “It’s nothing personal, I just don’t really like physical contact much when it comes to new people.” Or all people. Yea, all people sounded right.

---

Sam had listened to his explanation of why he didn’t want to be touched. She could respect that. Some people just didn’t like physical touch, and she had to remember that. After moving from her home in Kahnawake, traditions and how people treated one another had changed quite a bit. Though she was still a child, she could tell that things weren’t the same, especially with how she watched people treat her parents and other children treat her. And as she grew older, she had learned how to better fit in, but refused to fully let go of the lessons her parents continued to teach her, especially on the occasional trip back home to see family and friends, “I get it. I’m sorry too. Sometimes I forget not all people like to be touched.”

She sat the album back down that she had been looking at, “And you’re fine. I can’t go the rest of my life not talking about him. You asked about raging? I rage by blasting the music as loud as I can and letting loose with dancing as hard as I can. Me and Zach used to do that a lot. There’s a little underground metal club we would go to sometimes and mosh, until we couldn’t stand up anymore.” Sam laughed thinking back on one night when it had gotten out of hand and she ended up getting elbowed in the face. “I think you’d like My Chemical Romance. The bro country, not so much, but I mean to each their own I guess.”

She moved over to the other side of the aisle, “That’s cool about your actress friend. I don’t blame her for wanting her privacy. I’d be the same way.” As her eyes scanned the albums, she laid eyes on one and had decided this was the one she was getting today, “Fuck yeah! The Riddlin’ Kids.” She held the album up proud of her find.

---

With the mutual apologies, Caleb decided to let the subject go. He didn’t feel like explaining further, really couldn’t explain further, and she seemed to be fine now that he’d given her something. He just hoped that she wasn’t putting on a front and he hadn’t actually hurt her feelings and unfortunately that wonder would probably take over his mind for the next week at least. 

“You probably shouldn’t go the rest of your life without doing so.” He really had no room to lecture here or push her to talk about her friend more since he had barely spoken about his own loss. He’d been too worried and it wasn’t like he didn’t see the man every now and then. It was rather jarring. But encouraging others to speak their pain aloud? He’d never been a stranger to that. “As fun as that sounds, I don’t dance. Never have, most likely never will.” Especially now that Caleb was clumsier than he’d used to be. At least she was laughing as she talked about him this time, an improvement. “I will definitely skip the bro country, thank you for the warning. Applebee’s isn’t even that great.”

He did glance over at the section that held the My Chemical Romance band, picking up one of their albums and turning it over to inspect the back. But when her uninhibited celebration came about his eyes were back to her and the album she was proudly holding. “Again, not sure who they are.” Caleb really needed to expand on his musical tastes. “I feel like I listen to the same bands over and over now.”

---

“You know, I don’t think I could go more than a day without talking about him, so I don’t think I have to worry about that.” She laughed warmly at the thought of her friend as she walked back over to Caleb with the album in hand, “Not even in the privacy of your own home? That’s mostly where I let it all out now, with the exception of being around family.” Sam loved keeping rhythm to the music, especially if it had a great beat. She had imagined that if she were back home with her family, she’d dance publicly, but in more of a spiritual respect for her people. Not headbanging and other high energy, throwing caution to the wind kind of movements she often did, especially since Zach had died. “Yeah, no problem, and honestly, I agree. I’ve never had a decent meal at Applebee’s.” Now LongHorn had been a different story.

“That’s a great album. A good one to start out with if you think you want to start listening to their music.” Sam had loved The Black Parade. “Do you mind?” Taking the album out of his hand, she walked up to the counter with both the Riddlin’ Kids and My Chemical Romance and handed them to the cashier. Once she had paid for both things, she walked back over to Caleb and handed him the bag with the My Chemical Romance album in it, “Here. My treat so you can say you listen to other bands.” She grinned as she looked up at him.

---

“No, not even in private.” Dancing had always felt unnatural to him and his awkward level shot sky high whenever he attempted, even embarrassed to do it when nobody was around. “The screaming sounds fun though…” Caleb might have to try that sometime. It would probably help, especially now that he couldn’t even talk to the people he would normally go to. He’d always heard that screaming could release some of the stress and tension of life but had never really tried it before.

The album was about to be put back, the zombie making a mental note to make it his next purchase, when she plucked it from his grip. His eyebrows furrowed, wondering if she had decided to get it for herself as she made her way to the counter up front, until she was actually handing him the bag. “Oh…wait, no, you didn’t have to do that.” Caleb could never take anything gracefully, even birthday gifts. It always made him feel bad to have people spend their hard earned money on him since he knew how bad things could get. He never wanted to be the cause of someone not being able to eat that week. 

But she was handing it to him and if he refused that would have been rude. So, he took the album reluctantly while giving her a nervous smile. “Thank you, that was very sweet. I definitely have to give it a shot now.” Reaching up to rub the back of his neck, Caleb looked anywhere but her eyes, not sure how to continue with the conversation. But she was ready to go after having made her purchases and he was spared the humiliation of trying to push past the uncomfortable feelings to act like a normal human being. He thanked her again, eyes going back to the album as she walked out of the shop. No matter what people said about this town, it was nice to know that kind people still walked the streets.

[sleepysnk]

a/n: and we’re back! this chapter was one i really liked writing, and i hope you guys will enjoy it too. thank you for all of the support you guys have given me for the beach! it means so much 🥹

pairings: obito uchiha x fem!reader

warnings: modern au, nsfw, smut, praising, after care, angst, lots of crying, some brief fluff.

The Beach: Chapter Twenty-Three

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Four long days have passed since the events occurred with Obito.

The past four days have felt like a living hell for you. Your mind felt like a jail cell, and you felt extremely weak. Your emotions had turned off like a light switch on a wall. You didn’t feel a single thing anymore. It felt like your feelings had been sucked out of you like water at the bottom of a cup, and there was nothing you could do about it.

Your life did a total three sixty, and nothing was right anymore. Everything that was good in your life fell apart within just a few minutes. You found it to be quite shocking that things ended the way it did. It happened so quickly, and you barely had any time to process it.

You had no choice but to accept what happened, and move on. There was no “grieving” period. You had to swallow the truth that Obito was no longer someone who would be in your life. He was gone, and he probably already moved on.

You found yourself in a drowning state of unhappiness.

Not only did you miss your classes, you never came out of your room unless you had to use the bathroom. Other than that, you sulked in your bed without a single care in the world. Nothing mattered to you anymore. You’d also have that possibility of seeing Obito on campus, and, if you were being honest, seeing him would make you feel worse than you already did. Who were you kidding? He’d probably think of you as some scum at the end of the day.

Your motivation was completely gone. It disappeared, and even thinking about going onto campus made you feel ill. It was useless to go there anyway. You didn’t have the energy to deal with other people.

Many of your nights were spent with tears slipping from your eyes. The overwhelming guilt that you pushed Obito away made you want to erase your entire existence. You drove him out of your life because you got too close. Deep down, you knew it was stupid to cry, but your feelings got the best of you during the evening. It didn’t help that you always overthink everything. 

All you saw at night was Obito’s face in your mind. Sometimes you wondered what he was thinking about. Was he thinking of you? Was he angry? 

Well, it didn’t matter at the end of the day. He left you, and now you had to go on without him. 

But, fuck, why was it so hard to face that reality?

You knew damn well that you could get over any guy that walked into your life. You even told Obito that your agreement wasn’t serious and it was strictly a friend with benefits, so why the hell were you crying about him every night? You should be getting over it, not breaking down every night.

You completely destroyed yourself over him. 

What made things worse was that you were neglecting yourself. You didn’t eat, you slept all day, and you barely saw the light of day unless you were in the bathroom. Otherwise, you would hardly do anything all day. You even questioned why you charged your cellphone if nobody was going to call it.

These behaviors weren’t like you whatsoever, and the person who noticed the most was Konan.

The poor girl had been worried sick ever since you skipped school earlier in the week. She saw a decline in your happiness, and when you barely started coming out of your room, the alarms sounded in her head. The number one thing that stuck out was that you didn’t come to school, nor did you make an effort to come onto campus. 

Konan knew you would never miss a class. It didn’t matter if the whole school was on fire, you would make it. She couldn’t believe what was happening, and she had no idea what was going on with you. 

Every morning, Konan would go into your room to see if you were up. She’d always make sure you were up for class, but you made the same excuse every single time. It didn’t sit right with her at all, and something in her gut was telling her that you weren’t okay. This wasn’t a normal thing that you did, so what the fuck was going on with you? 

You claimed you were “sick,” which Konan believed for a little while. She knew people sometimes fell ill, but it didn’t look like you were sick. It soon dawned on Konan that you weren’t physically sick, but it was something deeper than that.

She thought about you every single day. There wasn’t a minute that passed by where she wasn’t worried about you. You were her best friend, and she loved you more than life itself. She didn’t want to see you slip into something you couldn’t get out of. She wanted to help you, but she also didn’t want you to become hostile. Though, if she didn’t make a move sooner or later, something bad might happen. 

Konan contemplated contacting your family, but she didn’t want them worrying. She knew your parents would drop what they were doing to figure out what was going on with you, and she didn’t want you getting upset with her. 

Your professors had even reached out to Konan to see what was going on. It was hard to even come up with an answer, because she didn’t even understand what was going on with you. It didn’t help that you barely came out of your room either. Invading your safe space might cause you to snap, and she didn’t want that. 

She was running out of options, and, as much as she didn’t want to confront you, it was turning into that situation. 

But, what other choice did she have? 

-

Konan’s honey eyes stared at her computer screen as she did her assignment. She wasn’t really that focused on the work anyway, because all she could think about was you. Her mind burned with the images of seeing you walk out of your bedroom. 

You didn’t look like yourself at all, and you didn’t speak a single word to her. 

Konan felt extremely helpless, she didn’t know what to do about anything. She wanted to be a good best friend and help you, but she wasn’t sure how. She didn’t know how to break the ice between you both. 

Leaning against the wooden chair at the kitchen table, she let out a sigh. It was way too quiet in your shared apartment. You usually were bursting with energy, but those days have since faded. Everything that’s happened has made things so unusual throughout your apartment. It was hard for Konan to process, and she didn’t like this anymore. 

Where did it all go wrong?

She rubbed her temples in frustration. She wished she could read minds. If she could, she would try to figure out what’s going on with you. 

Just as she was about to retire into her bedroom for the evening, she heard the sound of a door opening. More specifically, it was your bedroom door that was opened. She could also hear the sound of shifting coming from the carpet, and the footsteps were growing closer to the kitchen. Were you finally coming out? 

Could this be her chance? 

Her eyes then landed on you standing in the doorframe. You looked genuinely tired, and Konan felt like she couldn’t recognize you. It looked like you hadn’t slept in days, and, clearly, something was very wrong with you.

Rubbing your right eye, you finally opened your mouth to speak. “Sorry to bother you.. but do you know where the extra pads are..?” your voice sounded weak, and you cringed at the way it bounced off the walls. It was so quiet in the apartment, and it made you cringe.

Konan looked at her laptop then back at you. “Yeah.. um, they’re in the closet,” she placed her hand on the edge of the chair, “Underneath the wipes..”

You smiled softly, but, deep down, Konan knew that was a fake smile. You looked so unhappy, she could practically read your emotions. Your clothes were wrinkled, and you hadn’t changed since the day she found out you were “sick.”

Turning around, you began to make your way out of the kitchen to go to the closet which was near the restroom. Konan eyed your form as you walked. You hadn’t come out to eat while she’s been home, and she was certain you weren’t eating when she was gone. It worried her, and her mind was practically screaming for her to stop you.

“Wait.. (Y/N)..” 

Hearing Konan’s voice made you pause in your tracks. You turned around to face her, nodding your head to the side. You started to grow curious as to what she wanted. It was true that you two hadn’t spoken much lately, but you didn’t want to tell her about what happened. 

You felt as if you’d burden her with the issue you had with Obito. 

“(Y/N), please, be honest with me right now. What is going on? You aren’t yourself, and I’m really worried about you,” she squeezed the plush of the pillow which was beneath her. Konan’s heart was practically thumping against her rib cage. She could hear it in her ears.

You leaned against the wall, crossing your arms over your chest. “Konan.. I told you, I’m just not feeling that great. I’m fine,” you tried to play it off the best you could. A forced smile then appeared on your features. You hoped she would believe what you were saying, because you were really trying here.

She chewed on her bottom lip, trying to figure out what to say next. As much as she didn’t want to press the issue, she knew that you weren’t okay. 

“You know that’s bullshit..” she replied, “Look at you, you’ve missed so much school.. and I haven’t seen you leave your room in days,” 

Your eyes averted away from her. You didn’t want to talk about anything. Yes, she was your best friend, but you weren’t in the mood to discuss anything. You could barely think about Obito without feeling nauseated. 

“Konan, I’m fine, really! You don’t need to worry about me. I’ll be back at school tomorrow,” you tried to sound more reassuring, but Konan was way too good of an observer to let you go that easily. 

She scoffed, running her fingers through her lavender colored locks. “You’re not fine! (Y/N), I know you better than anybody else, and I know what you’re telling me is bullshit! Something is clearly up with you, and I’m not going to let you walk back into your room to just sit there!” she stood up out of her chair, “So, tell me, what the fuck is going on?! You can tell me, I don’t care what it is.. just, please, tell me what’s going on so I can help you!”

Shaking your head, you felt the tears forming in your eyes. You could feel them burning, and your vision turning blurry. How the hell were you going to explain this? She was so worried, but you couldn’t burden her with your stupid friend with benefits drama. 

Konan’s face softened when she saw the tears slipping down your cheeks. There was something on your face that made her heart ache for you. You were clearly hurt by something. She knew that look of hurt all too well, especially when it came to you. 

Sniffing, you tried to wipe the tears off of your cheeks. “Look.. i-i’m fine.. let’s drop it, okay..?” your voice was breaking as you spoke. You could barely stop yourself from stuttering and breaking down.

Konan stepped closer to you. She stood directly in front of you, and took your wrist into her hand. “(Y/N).. please don’t hold it in. Don’t hide it anymore, just tell me,” she gave your wrist a small squeeze. You could hear the sincerity in her voice which made a lump form in your throat.

Then, just like that, you broke.

A sob came from your mouth as the tears began to fall from your eyes. You practically collapsed into Konan’s arms. You started to cry into her shoulder, and she felt so bad for you. She could tell that you weren’t okay, and her assumptions were right. Something happened, but she had yet to find out what that was. 

Her arms went around your waist. She started to rub her hands into your back as you sobbed. Konan knew this was going to be a long night, and she was gladly prepared for it. 

“It’s okay.. I’m here..” she soothed her fingers into your back, trying to console you. She could feel how hard your breathing was. It was uneven, almost like you were having a panic attack. 

After several minutes, you started to calm down from your breakdown. 

Your breathing started to return to normal, and there were less tears coming from your eyes. The amount of crying you did left you feeling thirsty, and you felt tired. You hadn’t eaten much in days, so it was understandable that you had some exhaustion. 

You hadn’t cried like that in a while, but it felt good to get it out. Your body felt a bit refreshed, but you still felt shitty on the inside.

“(Y/N).. please, tell me what happened.. but only if you want to,” Konan drew circles into your shoulder. You felt comforted by her gestures. 

You were conflicted, how were you going to explain this to Konan? It wasn’t that she wasn’t understanding or anything, but you knew she might go out and find Obito. She was a very protective friend when it came to you, so anything was possible. She could hurt him if she really wanted to.

The words in your brain were scrambled. You didn’t know how to respond to her. Explaining how you felt about the situation was hard enough. Hell, even thinking about it made you want to crawl in a hole and never come out.

Your fingers squeezed and tugged at the fabric of her shirt. You finally lifted your head out of her shoulder, squinting from the light that shined from above your head. Your eyelashes were now damp from the tears, and you could feel them flicking water droplets onto your lower lash line. It didn’t feel like you cried that much, but you knew deep down that you let out a lot.

Looking down at the darkened fabric on Konan’s shirt, that answered your question. You knew you needed to let it out. 

Sniffling, you took a deep breath. It was time for you to spill the truth to her. No more hiding, no more denying, you had to be real with your best friend. If you didn’t tell her, she’d probably find out from somebody else, or, worse, she’d hear the information from Obito himself. You didn’t want that whatsoever. 

“K-Konan.. I didn’t mean to hide this from you, but.. this all happened so fast. I barely had time to process it myself..” you looked down at the hazelnut floor beneath your feet. You could feel that familiar lump forming in your throat again, but you had to swallow it. 

Her eyebrows knitted at your statement. She started to grow curious. “You can tell me, okay? Don’t worry about hiding it from me. I just want to help you, love,” she placed her hand on your arm, trying to calm you down.

You wiped your face of the excess tears that trickled down your cheeks. “Obito and I..” you trailed off, “We’re.. over,”

Konan’s head cocked to the side. Her expression changed completely, and she looked more alarmed than anything. She was very much aware of the little thing that was going on between you and Obito, but she never imagined that you would take it this seriously. 

She was also surprised over the fact that you two were done. She had to admit, she wasn’t expecting it to go in the wrong direction, but nothing really surprised her anymore. 

“What? Are you serious? I thought you and Obito were doing okay. What happened? Who even ended it?” her voice was growing concerned. You could tell that she was worried. The last thing Konan would want is for someone to hurt you.

Your mind started to play back the memories of the text messages and the last time Obito walked out of your apartment. Seeing it inside of your head was making your throat feel heavy, and it felt like someone was suffocating you again. You hated thinking about it, but that was the only way you could remember the details.

“He just.. ended it, I dunno. He didn’t really give me an excuse, but I know it’s my fault, Konan. I just know it is,” you shook your head, trying to hold in the tears that welled in your eyes.

Konan looked at you, shaking her head. She couldn’t believe that Obito of all people ended it. She knew he was a sweet guy, but he did have the reputation. Though, for some reason, Konan trusted Obito with you. Despite the two not even being friends, Konan had this feeling that Obito didn’t have bad intentions with you.

You blaming yourself? She couldn’t believe those words were slipping from your tongue. 

Her mind began to fill with questions. She knew it couldn’t have been your fault. You wouldn’t ever do something bad to Obito. 

Konan’s eyes flickered from the floor then up towards you. “What do you mean it was your fault? (Y/N), you wouldn’t ever do something bad to Obito, and I know that. Don’t blame yourself-“

“Konan, it was! I pushed him away! I got too close.. a-and, now he’s gone!” you cut her off, causing her mouth to fall open.

There was confusion swirling around in her head. How could you be at fault? Konan knew you were the type to let people go if they got too close, but this time you were the one who got too close? She couldn’t believe that was coming from you. 

Konan let out air through her nose. “(Y/N).. I don’t want to be that person, but I need you to explain how you pushed him away, because, right now, none of this is making sense. Can you please give me a little more to go off of..?” she squeezed your arms, trying to get you focused.

Taking a deep breath, you tried to recollect all of your thoughts. 

It made sense that even Konan was puzzled by all of this. You didn’t exactly give out the best details, but how could you? This was still a fresh wound, and talking about it only felt like you were adding salt into it. 

Though, sooner or later, it would all come out. Hiding it would make it so much worse. 

So, you told her every single thing your brain could remember.

From you and Obito sharing that moment, to him walking out of your apartment, and, finally, that text message that you could never forget the words to. It was odd how you could recall everything with such detail. At some points during your breakdowns, you thought that your brain had deleted the memories like they were nothing. Yet, every detail was still glued onto the walls of your mind. It was almost like your mind put them there as a constant reminder.

Hearing the story out loud made you feel queasy and sick. You honestly felt disgusted with yourself at the moment. You were completely aware of the boundaries you had set with Obito, but, despite all that, you crossed them without a single thought. 

After finishing everything, Konan was looking at you as if she was thinking about what she was supposed to say next. You saw how lost she was in her thoughts. It seemed like she was trying to process the whole thing herself, which you didn’t blame her for. You practically poured out all of this information without stopping, so it was understandable that she needed a minute to take it all in.

She chewed on the inside of her cheek, her eyes finally making contact with yours. “(Y/N).. I know saying sorry won’t make this better, but.. I am so sorry that this happened..” she placed her hand onto your shoulder, “I can tell you cared a lot about Obito, and I can assure you that this was not your fault. I know it may seem that way, but it’s truly not,”

You sniffed, feeling those familiar tears forming in your eyes again. A part of you wanted to believe that she was right. Maybe this wasn’t your fault to begin with, and maybe there was something else going on that you didn’t know about. 

But, from the way it seemed, how could any of that be true? 

“I just.. I didn’t want to harm anyone, you know? He was so good to me.. and now he’s gone. All because I got too close..” you shook your head, rolling your eyes in the process. A few tears slipped down your cheeks as you blinked. 

Giving your shoulder a squeeze, Konan looked at you with a soft smile. “You’re my best friend, okay? You could never do wrong in my eyes, and I can assure you that none of this is your fault. Men are stupid, and I can guarantee he will come back. He’ll realize eventually how wrong he was to have dropped you,” she had a reassuring tone in her voice, making you slightly relaxed. 

Konan came closer, hugging you tightly once again. You buried your face into her shoulder, looking at the floor behind her. 

“I’m sorry.. for hiding this from you..” you spoke into her shirt. 

She laughed, rubbing your back softly. “Don’t even apologize.. I understand that this may have been hard for you to talk about. Thank you for telling me though.. because I want the best for you, (Y/N). I hope you know that,” she smiled, “I love you..”

A small laugh came from your mouth. “I love you too, Konan..” you sniffed.

You stared down at the floor, sinking down into your thoughts while you and Konan stood in the kitchen. 

One Week Prior

Your nails dug into Obito’s shoulder as he rutted his hips into yours. His cock kissing at your g-spot, causing loud cries of pleasure to erupt from your throat. You could feel yourself drawing closer to your high, which only made you more desperate.

Obito smirked when he felt your gummy walls slowly starting to tighten around his dick. He looked down at your pretty body as he fucked into you at a relentless pace. Your hair was sprawled along the mattress, your tits bouncing from his thrusts, and those pretty moans he loved to hear every time you two both had sex with one another. God, you were an angel to him.

“Obito! Yes! Fuck, right there!” your back arched upward from the pure ecstasy you were feeling. You were so glad you were done with class for the rest of the day, because you weren’t sure if you could even stand up after this.

Your whines only encouraged him to make sure that you reached your orgasm. “Yeah, that’s it, baby, I wanna hear you scream my fucking name so everyone in the house knows you’re mine..” he whispered into your ear, causing shivers to go down your spine. 

His thumb went to play with your clit, causing jolts of pleasure to dance around your body. You could barely handle it. There was so much going on to your body, and you swore you saw stars in your vision.

After a few more thrusts, your orgasm took over your body. 

A loud moan erupted from your throat, and your walls creamed around Obito’s cock. He let out several deep grunts as your walls sucked him in tightly. You felt like heaven around him like that. He could barely get enough, and he wanted to keep fucking you like that. Though, he was already close to his own orgasm, so he had to finish up as soon as possible.

You whimpered as he fucked you through your orgasm. You soon felt the overstimulation, causing your thighs to tremble. 

“Too much.. fuck!” you tossed your head from side to side, playing with your breast to try and feel some relief. 

Obito placed your legs onto his shoulders, giving him a better angle. “Fuck, fuck, I’m gonna cum..” he groaned, “Your pussy is so good, baby, ‘can’t ever get enough of you..”

As he was about to cum, he pulled out of your wet hole. You then watched his cum leak out of the tip of his cock onto your belly. Obito let out several deep groans as he jerked himself off. It had to be one of his hardest orgasms he’s ever had. The two of you could barely keep your hands off of one another in the car. 

The two of you both panted, recovering from the intense orgasms you both had. 

There was sweat clinging to Obito’s forehead, and your bodies were both feverish. It had been a long time since both of you had gotten into sex that crazy. 

Obito reached over to his bedside table to grab a tissue to clean up the mess on your navel. He brushed the white fabric against your belly, which made you look up at him. You couldn’t help but smile at the small gesture. Most of the time, you both had sex with a condom, but you didn’t have time to put one on. You and Obito were in a huge rush to have another, so you decided to do it raw.

He cleared his throat, tossing the dirtied tissue into the garbage. “Um.. we can get dressed and I’ll take you home in a few minutes,” he brushed his fingers through his jet-black hair, trying to fix it up.

You bit at your bottom lip. You wondered if you really wanted the day to end already. If you were being honest with yourself, you didn’t want to go home. You wanted to stay with Obito for as long as you could.

Sitting up so you were now leaning against the bed frame, you looked at him with hesitation. “Obito..” you said, “Can we.. stay for a little bit? Just lay here with one another..?”

He blinked for a few seconds, processing what you just asked him. Obito wasn’t going to say no to you, and he wanted that if anything. 

“Yeah! Yeah, come here, baby,” he shifted around so he was now laying down next to you. You watched him open his arms for you, a smile forming on his features. 

You knew you shouldn’t be doing that with him, but you couldn’t resist it anymore. 

Turning over, you leaned into Obito’s touch. His arms went to wrap around your torso, bringing your body closer to his. Your head was laying against his chest, and you could hear his heart racing inside of his chest. It made you smile, but you didn’t want to say anything. 

His fingers went to draw small shapes into your skin, and his chin was resting against the top of your head. There was an overflowing amount of happiness soaring through your body. You didn’t want this moment to slip away, and you were for sure going to make it last while you could. 

“Your hair smells good..” Obito spoke, breaking the silence between the two of you.

A laugh came from both of you. You looked up at him, rolling your eyes playfully. “You smell like sweat,” you started to laugh a bit harder.

His mouth fell slightly open, but he just shook his head. “Rude..” 

You trailed your fingers along the veins in his arm, looking at his smooth skin. You were so happy to have met someone like Obito. He was such a great person, and being around him always brought out the best in you.

For the rest of the evening, the two of you lied in each other’s embrace. 

Little did you know, this would be the last time you would ever have sex with one another.

[alistair05]

Cruel Reality

Chapter 1

A/N: I won't be using 'reader' instead she (you) will be adressed as Reality or Rea. English is not my first language so kindly excuse my grammar. Also thank you for your patience! I was supposed to update this last Thursday, but school got in the way. Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy reading this and thank you for giving this a shot. ^^

Warning: Character death, evil female lead.

Jessamy kept pleading to the primordial being to release her master. The only reason why Reality has yet to kill her was because the raven held a special place in her heart. She hates Dream, yes. But that doesn't mean she also hates his subjects. 

She begged and begged, even mentioning the sleep sickness that has risen. Reality only stared at the Burgess’ house with cold eyes and replied.

“Let him and this shitty world suffer.”

The sky gloomed as the Magus looked out the window and was only able to see Jessamy. ‘He will die soon,’ Reality decided after she saw his plans for the raven. 

“Fly back to the Dreaming, Dear Jessamy.” She waved her hand at the bird, white tendrils made of light engulfing her. The raven, against her will, flew away out of sight. 

Reality returned to her world, not caring of the human realm going to chaos with the sleep sickness.

What greeted her there though, only caused her heart to ache. A paradise where it is always night. This was the place where they met, where they had their first everything...

And where it all went downhill.

At the altar where her new life with the King of Dreams should have begun, she stood. Hundreds of years has passed yet every fiber of her being always leads her here. Imprisoning Morpheus in a fish tank did not make her feel any better. Not even a little!

Marriage didn't even exist when Morpheus left her. But it already did in her world. And Dream introduced it to the humans in their sleep. That was not a good idea.

She believed he was mocking her by doing that. Right after he abandoned her, humans began finalizing their union with their other half through weddings. Soon a tradition started where the bride is to wear a white gown during their wedding. Oh how that infuriated her.

Now just like her own, most married couples on earth did not meet their happy end.

No, happy endings are just for fairy tales.

Months later, she returned to the waking world. Only to find out that not only had Burgess died, but Jessamy had been killed. The young Alex had buried the raven after he shot her. Her soul lingering around her own grave.

She wept for the innocent raven. Guilt drowning her hate for Morpheus. The humans could not hear her cries, but Dream did.

"Reality..."

From where he's trapped, he could hear her familiar wails of pain and sorrow. How could he forget the sound of it when he caused her to do that for the first time centuries ago.

Though Reality cursed him and probably had something to do with his capture, he couldn't help but blame himself for pushing her to do this. For being weak to get captured by mere humans and for being so selfish to do as he pleased at their wedding.

He grieved once again for his friend, and for his first love who he will never get back again.

They both grieved that day.

Tag list: @musicconversedance @cleverzonkwombatsludge @slutforescapism

[deepperplexity]

Prompt: 12. Warming Fire

Pairing: Snape x Fem!OC

POV: Dual (Snape, Third & OC, First)

Setting: Hogwarts

Continuation of: (pt.1) 10. Gingerbread & Peppermints, (pt.2) 11. Forgotten Gift

A/N: I’M LATE! I KNOW! SORRY LOVES! I just didn’t have a chance to finish writing this and get it posted yesterday - and now it’s nearly 9am so I’m not too many hours behind and you’ll get two fics today since it’s time for prompt 13 today too - I just, umh, gotta write it 😂👍 Anyway, here we go with the third part of this little serial RICKMAS fic - I hope you’ll nejoy it since there will finally be some SMUT and COMMUNICATION 😂👌

Oh, and it's another long fic 😅💚

Tags/TW’s: Judged By Apperance, Love, Love Confession, Kissing, Mutual Pining, Sexual Guilt, SMUT [Masturbation, Penetrative Sex, Possible Boots Kink Hinting, Body Adoration], New Emotional Experiences

Word Count: 5.3k+

Masterlist page // Masterlist post // AO3 // LINK TREE

≪ Severus’s POV ≫

It had been a week since the exchange in the office. A week. An eternity. Rosanna had been on his mind every minute of it, no matter how hard he tried to think of something else. Each time he saw her she looked happy, on the outside. Always smiling, always laughing and being friendly with everyone — and everyone seemed to adore her. So why did nobody see she was hurting? It was so obvious.

What he struggled to truly admit was the other thoughts haunting him though. He had no right to them, but every evening — when the school was asleep and there was no one around — he lay in bed and thought of her. The warm chocolate eyes, the smooth skin and the painted lips. The way she blushed under his gaze, her fingers fidgeting, the laugh he’d heard so many times filled him with warmth.

It had been a long time since he’d taken any pleasure. He’d relieved the pressure once in a while but there was never any pleasure involved in it. Now, when he grabbed his rigid cock each and every night for five days straight, there was pleasure. Guilt-inducing, burning pleasure as he imagined her there with him. Rosy cheeks and messy hair. Her beautiful curves beneath his hands, those full breasts weighing heavy in his palms and the sounds he’d draw out of her — that she’d draw out of him.

That Sunday morning he had woken up hard and aching — which usually never happened. His dreams had been filled with her and the warmth of her closeness. He was going mad. Drowning in his thoughts of her and what he had ruined before it ever had a chance to start. Snarling at himself about how it never could happen either way given who she was to the world and who he was.

That didn’t stop him from reaching down to grope himself though; to stroke and imagine it being her hand pleasuring him. He groaned and squeezed his cock harder, upping the tempo as he imagined her kissing his nick, licking at his lips, moaning by his ear. “Curse it,” he huffed and threw his head back, feeling a tingle at the lower part of his spine while he hardened further.

He kept stroking himself, feeling the build while everything else disappeared and only the thoughts of her remained. The feeling that she exuded, how it pulled on something within him. “Haa—” he panted while he gripped himself too fiercely, stroking frantically as the memory of Rosanna’s smile faded into the tear-streaked cheeks and he exploded just before the guilt could overtake the pleasure.

≪ Rosanna’s POV ≫

“Miss Kindra!” called a boy I’d seen about the library quite a few times the last three or four days as I was making my way back there from a late lunch. “Mr-, Crane, was it?” I asked with a wide smile and the boy nodded enthusiastically. “How can I help you, Mr Crane?” “W-well, miss, I was wondering about a book,” he said as he lowered his gaze. He was a sweet boy, very nervous and fidgety but sweet. “I’m quite good at those,” I chuckled and he smiled nervously at me while rubbing the back of his neck. “Well, well it’s about merfolk,” he began, “and s-sirens…”

My back stiffened. My smile faltered. Not this again.

I drew a deep breath and tried to keep my calm. “Yes, Mr Crane? What about merfolk and sirens?” “I-, well I was just wondering if you-, perhaps you were-, that you—” “Mr Crane,” came the dark rumble of a voice I had been trying so hard not to think about for the past week.

Me and the young boy turned, he was suddenly stiff and quiet — seemingly terrified. “I best not be hearing you accusing Miss Kindra of being a siren,” he drawled out while towering before us both, more me than the boy despite my heels. “Professor Snape, sir, no, no, sir. Definitely not, sir,” the boy blurted out while paling under Snape’s glare while my entire body heated at being so near him once more. Reminded of the time I’d first fallen for the commanding, sneering man.

“On your way, Mr Crane,” he said with finality to his tone and the boy scurried off. “Miss Kindra,” he said with a harsh nod but his eyes were different; the coldness was gone, replaced by a dreary look of guilt — a feeling I recognised in my own heart to some degree.

He turned to leave but in the next second my hand shot out and grabbed his wrist, halting him instantly.

My heart pounded as he turned and looked down at my hand before finding my eyes. He arched a brow but said nothing while I was unable to let go. To touch him, to stand close to him again, it was overwhelming. His hurtful words still lingered in my mind but after so many years of thinking about him it was hard to simply get over what I felt for him, no matter what he had said.

Each time for the past week when I’d seen him look at me my heart had fluttered, some part of me turned even more sad at the way he was so out of reach and simultaneously had hurt me by judging my looks — like everyone else. Yet there he stood now, defending me for that very reason.

“Thank you,” I whispered. “For?” “Defending me like that,” I said and withdrew my hand slowly. “Looks aren’t everything, and you should not be judged by yours.” “Or you yours,” I added to his sentence while looking up at him. The warmth in his eyes was different from the usual coldness that seemed to always linger in the dark colour.

My cheeks heated and I couldn’t stop the smile that spread across my lips under his gaze. Like a natural reaction to him, a smile unlike my usual ones that were conscious. This one was made without my permission.

“I’ll leave you to it,” he said lowly and nodded curtly. “Severus,” I exhaled, “please.” “What?” “Don’t do this.” “Do, what?” he drawled while holding my gaze. “This… Please, can we-, can we talk?”

He frowned at me, his eyebrows knitting together while my stomach seemed to tie itself up in one giant knot. “My quarters?” he asked and my shoulders sank in relief before I nodded with another smile he drew from me by merely existing. It was silly, really, but I couldn’t help it. He was so different, so handsome, just perfect despite his harsh demeanour and intimidating appearance. Perhaps because of it even.

“I have matters to attend, shall we say eight?” he asked and I nodded once more, lacking words now that I knew he’d talk with me. Not that I knew what I was to say in a few hours, in his private quarters, but my entire body felt like the home of jittery pixies.

Before I had a chance to say anything he had nodded and left in his usual hurry, coat billowing behind him like an ominous thundercloud. At least he’ll talk with me, and maybe we can sort this out… Maybe…

≪⁕≫

With my heart in my throat, I raised my hand to knock while doubting my choice of clothing. The deeply green dress with long sleeves and high neck hugged my curves while my black coat framed my shoulders and accentuated my waist where it was cinched with a black string of satin tied into a bow at the side. My heeled boots — reaching above my calves — kept my feet warm but weren’t visible behind the long skirt of the dress just barely reaching all the way down.

I drew a breath and finally knocked, smoothing out my long hair quickly before trying to find something to do with my fidgeting hands. Why am I like this with him?

The door opened and there he stood, no cloak in sight but the tightly fitted frock coat neatly buttoned and his cravat perfectly situated around his neck. “Miss Kindra,” he said in that slow drawl of his and stepped aside, “come in.” “Thank you,” I said and stepped past him on slightly wobbly legs. He was the only one who managed to make me nervous, not uncomfortable but truly nervous.

“Perhaps a drink?” he asked as the door closed. “Oh, yes please, professor.” “Perhaps, Severus, will do?” I bit down on my lip, lowering my gaze and blushing — again. “Severus,” I said, feeling warm at his permission for me to use his given name even if I had already been so bold as to do so a few times before — while caught up in the moment.

“Wine, or whiskey, miss?” he asked. “Whiskey, thank you. And, umh, you can call me Rosanna, if you want to…” He nodded at that and walked further into the gloomy room. It offered me a chance to actually look at the space with its stone walls and dark furnishing. It was warmer than I had thought, making my coat a bit stifling.

So, while Severus poured our drinks I removed it and slung it over the sofa by the crackling fireplace. As I turned back he was staring at me, a glass in each hand. “I’m afraid I’m a bit overdressed,” I confessed sheepishly. Not willing to say out loud it had taken me two hours to decide what the bloody hell I was going to wear. “You look, good.” “Oh, thank you,” I said and he stepped up, handing over one of the glasses to me.

This feels surreal. I’m in his private quarters, drinking whiskey. Teenage me would have a fit. “Sit,” he said and my body jolted into action by the word while ending my thoughts. He took a seat on the opposite end of the sofa, his back straight and his gaze on anything but me. It afforded me a perfect view of his unique profile though. The hooked nose, the dip of his chin, and the thin lips currently stretch to just a line.

“Severus,” I said after a moment, “are you angry with me?” He blinked and slowly turned at my words, his brows slightly knitted, forming a small line between them. “No.” I sipped my drink for the courage. “Then why do you always look at me in that way?” “What way?” he asked quietly. “That way,” I said and nodded my head towards his face before tilting it to the side, “as if you’re really angry with me, or don’t wish to be anywhere near me.” “I do not.” “Oh…” Wow, that-, that hurt.

I looked away and nibbled my bottom lip while scraping my nail against the perfectly clean glass in my hands. “That-, I did not mean it in such a way. That came out… wrong,” Severus said with an odd tone to his usually commanding voice. “What way did you mean it?” “I cannot divulge that.” “Why?” “It’s not fitting,” he sighed and gulped down half of the amber liquid in one go.

My body tightened. “Is it-, is it that bad?” I asked and he glared at me. The light of the fire danced over his features while warming the room further. “Bad, depends on your view of it.” “How am I to have a view of it if you don’t tell me about it?” “True,” he conceded but offered no more words. Maybe I should just say how I feel? At the very least I’ll get it out there and there are only two weeks left of my time here anyway. Screw it, I’ll just spill the beans.

≪ Severus’s POV ≫

Her finger tapped against the glass, she looked uncomfortable. Nervous. Why is it you are never nervous with others but appear to always be so in my company?

“Okay, so, I’d like you to listen,” she began and turned towards him slightly, sitting too straight while holding herself too still. “Go on,” he rumbled out. “I like you, Severus. I have liked you for many years now.” “Not suitable as I—” “You said you’d listen,” she bit out and he turned quiet anew while nodding for her to go on.

Rosanna drew a deep breath and Severus tried to reel in the turmoil within him, thinking about how no later than that very morning he’d pleasured himself with the thoughts of her beyond the door he was right at that moment fixating his gaze upon. He hardened at the thought and shifted on the sofa to hide it by crossing one leg over the other while leaning back and scolding is own mind and body for the direction they had both taken.

“I know it was wrong when I was younger, and nothing ever happened back then. You didn’t even remember me,” she said quietly but there was a humourless chuckle to her voice towards the end. “Either way, I thought it was perhaps just a crush. You know, like young girls tend to get when there’s a man they look up to and stuff. It feels silly to say it like this, but, it wasn’t a crush.”

“I never forgot you, there was never anyone else who came remotely close to making me feel as I feel about you, Severus.” And I assume there has been plenty, given your looks, he thought to himself wryly while watching her.

“Don’t judge like that,” she said, jolting him and widening his eyes. “I have not said anything.” “It’s in your eyes,” she said in a scolding manner. She talked to him like none other did. “My eyes?” “Yes, Severus. You’re not as good at hiding stuff as you may think.” “With you,” he muttered, but not loud enough for Rosanna to hear.

She took a drink and sighed while Severus adjusted his position as discreetly as he could while trying his hardest not to look at how her tight dress clung to the delicious curves he had fantasised about touching not many hours ago.

“As I was saying, there’s never been anyone else I’ve felt like this about. And I’m not a student anymore, I’m twenty-two and perfectly able to take responsibility for my emotions. I can’t help they were born when I was younger but they’re mine and I take responsibility for that.” As she spoke he listened carefully, endeavouring to take in every word while his body grew warmer and harder at just being close to her and that infernal sensation she radiated. He felt that choking need to hold her because of it.

“I’m sorry I’m making you uncomfortable, I understand I’m just a former student in your head even if it’s been five years and you didn’t even take notice of me in any way back then,” she continued while Severus gritted his teeth. I’m uncomfortable alright. “And now you’re tensing up and moving away from me so I understand my feelings aren’t reciprocated but—” “Not reciprocated?” “Well, yes?” “Rosanna,” he began in a quiet rumble, “you have no idea how wrong you are at this. very. moment.”

She blinked at him, confusion written all over those lovely features of hers shed light upon by the fire he’d lit to warm the room — for her sake. “I’m wrong?” she asked and he sighed while averting his gaze. “Yes.” “Look at me when you say that,” she demanded and he slowly turned his head.

He found her stiff and roughly gripping the glass between her hands. Her eyes were warm but hesitantly closed off as they met his. The way her painted lips were set in a line rather than a smile tugged at his heart. He wanted that infernal smile to come back, the mere thought of making her smile had his cock achingly hard while his eyes glanced at the way her breasts heaved up and down in time with her slightly laboured breathing. As if she was truly nervous, or anxious about what he was about to say.

“Yes. You are wrong,” he stated. “You like me in return?” Her voice was so damn quiet, uncertain. “I-, yes… I like you in return.” “Are you playing games with me, Severus? Please, I’m not—”

He uncrossed his legs, the tightness of his clothes making the bulge more than visible, and turned his body towards her while pushing himself closer. “Do you think I would ever play games like that, Rosanna?” he nearly snarled at her, leaning closer to get a mere breath away from her face. “I do not have the time, will or wish for games.”

Her eyes were enlarged, her mouth slightly agape. He wanted to grab her chin and kiss those lips, push his tongue inside that warmth and taste her. However, above all that, he wished to hold her close. Abolish that cursed feeling of hurt and loneliness that radiated from her at all times.

But he held fast, held still while her alluring scent of lavender and her filled his hooked nose with ease. Her eyes bounced between his lips, his eyes and the bulge of his pants that were too tight at that moment. A beautiful blush crept along her cheeks and the visible part of her throat while he kept looking at her, waiting for her to make the next move as he held his own uncertainties about the whole situation.

≪ Rosanna’s POV ≫

If that wasn’t a confession I couldn’t possibly say what else would be. My throat had gone dry, my heart hammered at an insane rate while my entire body seemed to yearn for the man now seated so close I could touch him if I just leaned in, reached out. I nearly panicked.

All the years spent yearning for him, longing for him, wanting him, thinking about him — and here I was sat with the man, hearing him confess to wanting me while his body showed all the signs of it simultaneously. My own heated and tingled with want.

Nearly a minute passed in utter silence and neither of us moved. The crackling fire, our heavier breathing, the only sounds beyond my rushing pulse. My tongue darted out to wet my lips while his eyes narrowed. I could barely draw breaths deep enough.

Without averting my gaze, I placed the glass on the table. My hand trembled as I reached up, hesitating for a second before I stroked his pale cheek. His nostrils flared at the touch and my shoulders relaxed. “Severus,” I whispered and he leaned into the touch. “Rosanna,” he replied in a humming so deep it seemed to shake the very air around us.

I couldn’t resist him any longer. I reached up and took his face in both my hands before scrambling to kiss him. Plastering my lips against his so fiercely he was pushed back while I climbed him like some crazed animal, starved and desperate for the meal he was.

His hands landed on my thicker thighs, squeezing the outside as I straddled him — kissing him with all I had. A deep groan rumbled from him and I pushed myself harder into him, feeling his sturdy thighs beneath me while he opened up for me, allowing our tongues to pick up a tentative but rushed dance.

My fingers slid into his long hair, feeling the smooth strands before my fingers indistinctly latched on — gripping tightly. He moaned. It was the most sensual sound I’d ever heard. It set my blood on fire as I deepened the kiss, upped the pace and felt his hands slide up my body until he grabbed my waist and pulled me tighter against him. He was so sturdy, so hard yet perfectly soft at the outermost layer of him unlike me; being all soft rolls and malleable curves which he grabbed and squeezed in what seemed to me be adoration. His touch was different from anyone else I’d ever been with.

A rush beneath my skin, a feeling of falling endlessly while being elevated. I couldn’t describe it even if I tried. All I knew was that he was the one, the only one for me. “Rosanna,” he hummed into my mouth, “tell me you want this.” “I want this,” I panted. “I want you, Severus.”

He grabbed me harder, managing to rise with me in his arms by some miracle and in the next second I was on my back, spread out on the couch with him hovering over me. One knee between my legs while he held his weight with one hand on the back of the couch, the other gripping my chin decidedly. “You have no idea… how I ache… for you,” he whispered in a drawn-out rumble before kissing the tip of my nose in the most gentle of ways only to dive for my lips before another breath had left me.

I reached for the buttons of his frock coat, undoing them with sloppy haste while he untied the sash at my waist. “Zipper,” I panted, “at the back.” His hands surged in beneath me, lifting me with one while pulling it down with the other as I undid the last of the buttons only to see another row of buttons belonging to his black shirt beneath. I nearly cursed the buttons I’d spent countless hours dreaming about undoing now that I finally had the chance to touch him, be with him, and share myself with him.

He grabbed the dress at my shoulders while I sank back down on the sofa. In one swift motion, he rose and pulled it off my body with such ease I for a moment wondered if he’d been with many women before me. That thought fizzled out when he dropped the dress to the floor and shrugged off his frock coat. I couldn’t stop ogling the man while he so swiftly undid the buttons of his shirt. His eyes never left my burning face though, despite my own roaming all over the delicious man.

“You are beautiful,” he said in a near growl as he allowed his own eyes to flow over my full body dressed in only my black lace bra with a matching thong and the high boots. Under his eyes, I felt sexy as sin — in a beautiful way. “Severus,” I breathed out as the feeling heated my core to an inferno of need. “Please,” I moaned and he smirked at me teasingly while he dropped the shirt along with the cravat. So fucking hot, I’m gonna die.

He stripped fully and my eyes bulged at the impressive cock standing at full attention with a pearl of pre-cum at its tip. The fire behind framed him perfectly and I could never have imagined the beautiful man beneath all those clothes, strapped in and hidden behind so many layers, so many buttons.

His skin was blemished with old scars, the Dark Mark marring his forearm. I didn’t have any time to reflect on it though, and I had had my suspicions yet I couldn’t find it in myself to think any less of him. He was perfect in my eyes, scars and dark past included.

He grabbed his wand, apparently not feeling the least bit of nerves standing before me in nothing at all. It was hot. So damn hot. His confidence, his posture, his everything. I wetted my lips as my eyes roamed. He flicked his wand and my underwear vanished only to appear in his hand. “Mine,” he hummed and raised them to his nose, dragging in the scent while I writhed and moaned at the sight of him taking his fill of me in every manner he wished, slowly, piece by piece.

He dropped his wand and the black lace on the table and then he was on me. “These stay on,” he hummed as his hand stroked the leather of my high-heeled boots. My hands surged up, my fingers entwining themselves with his hair anew to pull him down. Our lips smashed against one another while he snuggled in between my thighs as I wrapped my legs around him.

The tip of his cock nudged my entrance and I jerked, desperate to feel the length of him within me. But his hand nestled in between us, finding my clit with ease before he began circling it perfectly — sending jolts of pleasure through my burning body pressed down by his weight.

He kissed my neck, nibbled at my shoulder while his fingers worked their magic to soften me, prepare me for him. His thumb took over on my clit while he pushed a finger inside of me. I arched and whimpered, feeling my nipples chafe against his broad chest covered with a thin layer of black hair I wished to drag my fingers through.

“So snug,” he said by my ear, “let’s soften you for me, Rosanna.” “Severus,” I moaned, “please.” “In due time,” he chuckled while upping the pace with his hand. I moaned and tensed, feeling my orgasm build by his expert motions. It was as if he knew my body like we had been together for years. “Not yet, love,” he whispered teasingly before kissing the shell of my ear and altering the pace of his thumb. “N-no,” I whimpered as the orgasm stalled, keeping me tense but not being allowed the release my body craved at his touch. “I want your pleasure, with mine,” he growled and removed his hand, making me gasp at the lack of connection and stimulation.

He rose halfway up and gripped his cock, it was such a sight with the firelight dancing behind him and I could barely keep myself from moaning as his eyes hooked mine while he lined himself up with my soaked entrance.

He nudged me, finding the opening with ease but not pushing himself in. His jaw clenched, my body trembled for him, and he waited. “Severus!” I called out, nearly begging him with the tone of my desperate voice. “I want to enjoy this,” he gritted out. “I want to remember every second of you beneath me, writhing and needy.” His words made me whimper and he tensed.

The next second my body arched as he pushed himself inside in one swift motion. He groaned and I moaned, our panted breaths filling the air as I adjusted to his size and he seemed to enjoy every second of being buried within my heat. Holy wand.

He laid down atop me, snuggling his arms in under my shoulders before his hands gripped them harshly only to push me down while he surged upwards — taking the last little sliver of space available within me. “Haa—” “Rosanna,” he moaned as I scrambled to hold onto his neck, wrapping my arms over his broad shoulders. “Oh, oh, Severus…”

He picked up the pace, slamming into me while pushing me down to meet his thrusts. I held on, met him as best I could and tried to hold back my orgasm with all my might. His pelvis hit my clit at the tight angle with each thrust. His cock stroked the most sensitive spot within me and the way his body felt so perfect against my own had me in a daze.

“I’m-, oh god,” I moaned and he groaned. “Come with me,” he demanded as his pace quickened. “Yes, yes—” “Come, love,” he gritted and I let go with a cry as he slammed into me.

I quivered and trembled, my insides pulsing in time with his cock as his cum shot into me. The sounds that left his thin lips seemed to burn something within my very soul. Breathe life into some dark part of my heart as he moaned my name like the highest praise.

I bit down on his shoulder to quiet the crying moan being unleashed from the depths of my chest. The taste of iron mingled with my saliva and the salty taste of his skin. He squeezed me to him, making my teeth sink deeper as he cradled my head while I clawed at his bare back, needing to get closer; closer than physically possible.

My head was spinning, my body feeling oddly thrown off course by the pleasure. “Rosanna,” he said gently, “are you alright?” “I think I’ve died and gone to heaven,” I whispered, too sated and blissed out to even realise I had slumped beneath him, one leg over the back of the couch while the other laid limply down towards the floor. “Is that so?” he mused with the softest of chuckles to his voice, I think I might die all over again with you sounding like that…

≪ Severus’s POV ≫

He had no idea what to do. Rosanna lay slumped beneath him, his entire body was simultaneously utterly relaxed and fully tense. He had only ever been with three women before, all one-night stands and meaningless. With her, it was everything and more. That she seemed so pleased — so satisfied — had him at a loss for what to say or do.

He had taken command, had undressed and displayed himself fully, had spoken words about wanting all her pleasure and been nothing like his usual self — desperate to please someone in a completely foreign way. Now he didn’t know what to do, at this point he usually got dressed and left without saying so much as a goodbye.

“Severus, that was amazing,” she breathed out while the most glorious of lazy smiles spread across her lips as she laid beneath him — eyes closed and arms reaching up to hold him around his neck. He leaned in and kissed the tip of her nose, just wanting to be close and not knowing what the bloody hell to say when he had just had the most life-altering experience. He had never guessed just how much pleasure his body could feel, or offer another.

“Severus?” she asked and opened her eyes with a questioning expression before her cheeks took on that rosy colour he so adored. “Yes?” “Was it not-, didn’t you-, I mean—” “Life changing,” he said when she struggled to find her words. She instantly softened and the most beautiful smile stretched her lips before she leaned up and kissed him softly, gently, with care.

He sat himself up a bit and reached for her high boots with their thick heels that looked far too high yet she had walked so perfectly in them earlier. He did not quite know why he had left them on but it had been hot and he did quite like the look of her in only boots. But now, he wanted her to be comfortable, so he slowly took them off and gently placed them on the floor next to the heap of clothing and his wand. He reached for it and with a flick cleaned both of them up.

He wrapped her in his arms and shifted them around so Rosanna lay atop him instead. “I’ll crush you,” she mumbled, but he only held her tighter while his chest ached with a foreign sensation of warmth not even the warming fire a few steps away could compete with.

Rosanna snuggled in with a deep breath while he held her close, finally able to take her in his arms and drain the hurt he’d felt in her since the very beginning. She turned heavier as she relaxed fully and he wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. Her weight grounded him, her soft body shaping itself to his so marvellously it felt as if they were one.

“Severus,” she whispered sleepily. “Hmm?” “I love you…”

His eyes widened, his body stiffened for a moment before he nearly squeezed the life out of her with his harsh hold. The sensation within him was new and overwhelmingly strong. “I think I may love you as well,” he murmured as he could not quite understand the feeling he was experiencing but it felt like it could be nothing other than that elusive emotion which had evaded him for the entirety of his life. “That’s good enough, for now,” Rosanna whispered but he could hear the smile in her voice as she hugged him back and the room fell utterly silent while his heart pounded with joy inside his chest.

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A/N: Well, they figured it out! 🙈🤭🥰 I hope you enjoyed this longer serial RICKMAS fic! It was so much fun writing with an OC for a while 😍👏

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[Dec:2022]

[luckliyjustluc]

TW, 3rd LIFE SPOILERS, DEATH, SUICIDE.

—-

Bdubs was dead, his blood slowly mixing into the pond that they all were stood in. Grian stepped forward, sword swinging in venomous rage and anguish.

“Traitor! Traitor Scar!” Grian sneered as he kept blindly swinging at Scar, the taller of the two stepped back and smiled despite being nicked and sliced. Grian paused as realization poured over him like ice water.

They were the only ones left in the arena.

Grian’s grip on his sword losses and Scar kneeled before him, hand placed over his heart as he stared straight up at the Avian.

“Wait no-“

“For everything you did to keep me alive this long you may slay me and take the enchanter.” Scar urged, always smiling, always happy to give himself to other people.

It made Grian nauseous, the avian swooped down to Kneel in front of the other and grasped Scar’s shoulders. “No, I literally cant’t!” He gasped.

“I can’t! I can’t! I can’t!”

They weren’t soft touches and happy feelings anymore. Nor were they monopoly mountain. they were Grian and Scar, and Grian and Scar were rough, destructive forces that push and molded each other into shape and in the same breath break each other apart.

Scar pulled Grian to his feet, ignoring the constant chirps their communicators made as ghosts cheered for them to kill each other.

“Okay so what do you want to do? Do you want to fix our sand castle?” Scar joked and Grian rolled his eyes.

“We can just say we won together, right?”

They both chuckled at this, only one of them is leaving this arena alive. They knew that but if playing pretend is what it takes for both of them not to break from the heaviness of it all, then so be it.

—

As the communicators filled with the cheers of their deceased friends. Grian turn to face Scar, hands ready to end his partner’s life.

Scar knew he was not going to live past this moment. Not because he would loose, well it was partially that, but mainly because he couldn’t hurt Grian. Despite it all, he was still clutching onto the memories of their dusty sand home that Grian had adorned, of Pizza, of hot afternoons and freezing nights.

Of lavender and Poppies.

3

2

1

Scar gave a bloodied grin as laugher left his lips and tears drowned his sorrow, he wasn’t fighting back, not fully anyway. Always punching to the side of Grian, particularly faking disorientation just so that he didn’t have to full on hurt the other. It didn’t take long before Scar felt his life drain from his body. And all it took was for one finally punch to the template for him to see red.

—

Grian held Scar’s lifeless body close. Guilt, regret, remorse, all of it ate at him. Grian stared down at Scar, tears dripping down his cheeks and swirling with Scar’s battered being.

Eventually the avian got up and walked toward the edge, taking one final look at ruined memories, this time it was Grian who smiled, “I’m sorry scar.” He whispered, hoping the other could hear him.

He didn’t fly like an avian should, instead he fell. In that last moment of consciousness he pulled one one thing to grasp into.

faded lavenders and decaying poppies.

Two promises were made that day. Scar vowed never to intentionally kill Grian and Grian vowed never to be partnered with Scar again.

Only one of those promises could be kept.

——

GEEZ LEEZ IM DONE WOO

Okay so this was just me writing the final of 3rd life episode into corny angst LOL. If you enjoyed lemme know!

[ihopeineverloseyou19]

The graves beneath my heart (I wait for the ghosts to come)

I'm learning geography is about loss and so I keep moving into closets that never smell like you. I'm learning not to order everything and want nothing. My mouth is empty. The words won't stay. “ Paul Guest from my index of slightly horrifying knowledge; Airport letter 2”

Your memories are sceneries for the things you said

But never really meant

Words: 4.1k

Or read it on Ao3

He sleeps in his old bedroom, where he can still find that old red outline that had been painted over more times than he could count. The paint had dissipated with the years, his mother finally giving up on repainting it completely the night his father died. It was still there, little red blood dots from all those fresh cuts all those years ago, marks that he himself made. He knew that he would not remember his childhood happily, not like other kids would do, or even how Sean would do, it was the only thing that had given him a sort of power back, his own little twisted idea.

The first one, he remembers, was when his father pushed him in front of his only picture hanging by his wall, a picture of him when he was smaller, happier. He had found it fitting that he had been the one to break it, the only piece of glass in the back of his head, ‘A superficial cut’ as the doctor explained them when his mother brought him to the hospital that afternoon when she noticed how his son had blood dripping down his neck, it wasn’t too serious for him, not really, comparing to how brutal his father had been other times, he had it coming, he had been ‘lucky’ if the glass had gone in deeper he could - would probably- have had complications.

The marks stayed there no matter how many times his mother had begged him to stop, he would go on every night, adding new spots, it was a way that made him feel better in a way, he could stare at his own blood night and night again, counting down from where it started, hoping that he would not had to do it for another nights, but did it anyway, the last mark he put up, was when he put his broken finger in his wall, the blood from his body clamped out there, or the little he could get without messing up his bedsheets, the sticky way a fine line of blood appeared when he separated his hand from the wall for what would be the last time.

Something his mother was not happy about, he did it in hopes that she could understand what happened down in the basement, the way he screamed for his father for forgiveness, the way his mother drowned out his son asking -praying- for her to help him with a colorless drink in hand.

How it had been a memory she could never completely erase, the guilt for not saving him, for not knowing how, without breaking a family she was bound with since she married his father. She couldn’t leave him, not without ending up with nothing but two boys and her. He was everything she had, and her husband knew it all too well, she could not leave him, no matter what he did. She stayed.

He can sense it, the moment his bedroom door opens, he had learned all the sounds of his old home in the nights he was to busy eavesdropping how once and again his fathers footsteps lingered too much in front of his bedroom door, debating if that night would be one for him to understand that he did something (he never knew what) wrong, that he needed a lesson.

Aaron learned the way the last stair had always cracked when the pressure of both feet were pressed together, when the person at the top of the stairs didn’t know where to go. When someone could not decide what to do. His heart beating inside his ribcage, the way his breathing quickened when he heard his bedroom doorway open, he stopped all his movements, something he learned to train himself in just perfectly (his father did not move him if he noticed Aaron sleeping, completely still) it was the only way he would let him be, he never did figure out why.

He remembers how it felt, how he felt his skin tear open with every wound, the relief that came after when he put lotion on, the coldness of the bathroom late at night, even with the door close, the way he could not keep looking at himself for too long in the mirror, choosing to shower as quickly as possible to get the blood stains out, the rapid moments, fearing that the way he tried to hold his screams when the warm water hit his body, fearing that his whimpers would wake his parents up, that he would wake Sean up.

He didn’t move, not until he heard his father footsteps disappearing up the stairs, he had always laid there, motionless, petrified to move, scared if he even lifted a finger he would be pressed harder against the warmless floor, the bruises and punches he tried to avoid, but somehow they always came. The way his body was never completely healthy, purplish spots in his skin late at night, a different ointment for the wounds, to get them to heal quicker.

They must have been the only thing that reminded him of touch. The only thing that reminded him he was breathing, alive. The pain had that power over him. It made him real. Well, realer than he ever was. He feels now the way he did when his father came into his room, wanting to step out of his body, to forget he even existed, that he even survived, to float above the pain that always seems to surround him, but it’s not his father who stands in the doorway. He squinted his eyes, trying to get a better look at the figure that had been looking at him, the same figure he learned to grow up with, but in a different body, Sean had been more relaxed than him, than his father.

“Jack’s asleep in my bed” Sean crunches down to face him, he traces his forehead with a finger, taking some drops of sweat in it, “He said that you were moving too much in your sleep”

Aaron breathed out, he knew what had woke him up wasn't his son, Jack’s little space empty beside him, a new kind of guilt eating him, how could he not notice his own child walking out of bed?

“Want to tell me what happened?”

“I’m fine” Aaron states, letting the sheets fall from his body, the temperature growing within the passing seconds, he was burning up, not a so rare occurrence the little times he was back in his old bedroom, “He can sleep with you I suppose”

Sean doesn’t reply, he nods, closing the door again, letting the room bathe in a new kind of darkness, leaving him alone for the first time since he came inside his mothers house, he knows that Jack will be okay with Sean, he had never been a kid with insomnia neither too restless when he was asleep.

He turns his light on, looks at the ceiling where little stars should have been place, but never were, at the walls where posters he had put up when he was a teenager had been cleaned up, he stared at the blank walls, noticing how fitting this room was for him now, how the missing pieces of him had been stripped out of him little by little, until nothing was left but a void in his heart that not even Jack could fill.

Maybe it was the guilt he carried, he wasn’t sure. He thinks delusionally that the void is Haley, a ghost of what had been the love of his life, placed permanently on his chest, on his lungs, no letting him absorb the little moments he spend with Jack, laughing, then crying over the fact that those things had been what she had wished him to do when she was still there to see them.

There was something so strange about having to share his space again, him dropping by Sean’s bedroom when he was still a baby, checking if he was hurt the way he had been, nights he fell asleep next to his brothers crib, that later had been turned to a ‘big boy’ bedroom for him, the way he snuck out to his brothers bed, after countless showers and slept there.

Sean’s room had been the only safe space for him, the only space his father could not hurt him, not without Sean knowing what kind of a person he was, his mother knew it, she had been the one to wake him up, to help him to his own bed when his muscles ached so much that he could not do it on his own, she had helped him with clothes that were too tight for him. Most of all, she had kept that secret, not letting his father know, sometimes when he felt particularly awake at nights where Aaron had gone.

Then Haley came, sharing a bed was what had been healing for him, another person curled up on him, nothing bad coming out of that touch, arms wrapped around his middle as he slept. Until all of that stopped, when he was called out of bed for cases that were too important to let them be for when there was a reasonable hour, when he had to get out of his house before it was morning, out of Haleys’ embrace. Finally Haley had set a line and walked out of their house, not the way he had, after coming back, he knew that it would be forever.

Haley’s death, the way he would have let Foyet kill him without thinking twice if Jack wasn’t in the picture. He doesn’t know what was worse, letting Jack grow up without her, or him being the one who was left to parent his child. He never grew up to be the perfect example for a child. His father tainted his childhood in front of his eyes, angry constantly about things he could not control.

Him dying meant that Aaron would be hit with waves of undesired grief, how could he mourn him when his father did nothing but destroy everything he touched. Still, he was added there, to the graves beneath his heart, a place that he knew selfishly didn’t belong. He wasn’t mourning for the father he had, he cried for the father he wished he could have, one he thought would fill the shoes off when Jack was born, but he didn’t know how.

Haley was added there, to a place he didn't want to expand anymore, not so soon, the familiar nauseating feeling wherever he saw the ring, still in his left hand, cold metal bathed in gold, a promise to love each other forever engraved in the back of it. At least he didn't break that. He still loved her. Aaron doesn't really think he isn't going to stop. The ring stayed there, as he took the sweat with cold water in the bathroom next his room, the one he hasn’t allowed himself to step a foot into, until now.

Haley’s death had to be the reason the pills the doctor gave him didn’t do anything at all, he took another one, before going downstairs. Perhaps not having Jack's small body pressed against his own, curled by him, him breathing, knowing that his son, the only thing that has a little part of Haley is safe, one of his hands holding onto his t-shirt as if he was to disappear at night was being the thing that was causing him another sleepless night, but he knew better.

Now Jack was capable of sleeping alone. He no longer needed him. Aaron has to remind himself that sleeping in different rooms was only the beginning of Jack growing up, he thought about how many nights like those would have to take before he no longer needed him at all. Before Jack makes his own life.

What he thinks about instead is how he found Jack when he arrived home from work, or the little paperwork the bureau lets him do, to have him occupied while Jessica spends time with him.

Old tapes lying on the floor, Haley’s voice sounding from the speakers at the back of the TV. If he didn’t think about it enough he could almost imagine that she was with them. That she was still there. Jack obsessively watched those the first night he spent with him, a day before the funeral took place. Those CDs where Aaron had to pause one to get him to go to bed, where Haley ironically smiled brightly at him, playing outside with Jack, years ago when she was the center of his universe, where he valued them more than his job.

He never imagined himself teaching Jack how to tie a bow so soon, slowly letting him do his own while he tied his black shoes, he never imagined having Jack with a suit so similar to what Sean had worn when their father died. He never imagined having to say goodbye to Haley so soon, to be the reason she and many other people were killed.

Aaron never would have guessed to have Jess moved into his apartment to be close to Jack and him, her arguing over the fact that ‘he was not ready to give up on his job’ the way she knew him had always been surprisingly well, considering that he had spent most of his time with Haley, only both of them alone had shared one summer, the last his father lived, that he thinks might have given her an insight about his childhood, not something that Haley had ever been known of, not completely.

She knew what she was doing, as Jack had admitted that he didn’t want to talk about Haley because it made him sad. Aaron knew, still knows that it would be the only way he would talk, even if it was not to him. Jack needed and outlet to let his feelings out, and if that wasn’t him, he was in peace with it, the few times they tried, he made them stop, because he was profiling his son, he was not acting like a father would, so he did the only logical reasons he could think off, offer that duty to her.

Instead Aaron listened and tried not to go outside, he tried not to run form that vacant apartment that Haley never got to see, he still tries not to think of all the things she is going to lose because of him and most of it he tries to keep out of his mind that she is not here because of him. He tortures himself over and over again, the way Jack voice had shaked wherever they lighted a candle to talk to Haley, how he never wanted to continue doing it, he didn’t feel comfortable enough for it, not with him in the room.

He knew that there will be a moment where he would think of her as she was, as she once had been, where the last image of her in his head will be distorted, just enough so he doesn’t remember how she had died. So that it doesn’t remind him that he was the one who caused it. Who caused her death. He waits until that day arrives, hoping that it will let him close his eyes without replaying their history, without continuing seeing the inevitable end, the one he knows exists.

That when Jack gets older, he might hate him, that he might hear the phrase his brother Sean had thrown at his mother, when she was trying to get him to enter their house. Aaron knows that some day, when Jack is older enough to puzzle the pictures in his head, when he is older to understand what had happened to his mother, he will be blamed. Jack is going to resent him, he is okay with that.

Jessica had always been a good listener, leaving him to read some of Jack’s favorite stories wherever he had time to call for his bedtime stories when he was away. She had made all of that work out for them. She had helped him into bed, helped Jack put on his favorite pajamas and talked about family, about memories. About how Haley’s death caused him, how that made him feel.

Aaron wants nothing more than to go back, change history, let Haley go the moment he laid his eyes on hers, he is sure that it would not break his heart that much, not like now. Count his steps towards that theater room, change his direction, walk home earlier that day, anything to make sure that they never crossed paths with each other. He would give everything up if she was still here, with him, raising Jack.

He still has Haley's first video about Jack on his phone. Haley’s first text engraved on his phone, back to when they were just high schoolers, not knowing what to do or how to act. Old awkward conversations that started about school subjects, but ended with ‘i love you’. Back when he said it first and when she said it back. The long phone calls when he had been away in law school. Every step of their history was never erased, Aaron wonders if he could do the same with his memories of them. How was he supposed to show Jack how they feel in love using things stored in his phone?

He goes to the living room, trying not to paralyze when the third stair cracks below him, silent footsteps as he makes his way, reminding himself that his father is gone, long gone, only his ghost could have still be residing there, his mother unknowingly bringing him back to life with every pie she baked. He finds Jessica at the counter with an already cold coffee in front of her, a sombrer expression he has seen in the mirror for nearly a year in her face.

“I figured it would be you” Jess had taken up on Jack’s offer to stay with him, just for tonight the child had begged her to stay, she had been offered to stay in all three bedrooms, courtesy of his mother claiming that the old couch was not suitable for anyone's back pain. She had declined the offer, even when Aaron had argued that he knew what a sore back would look like the next morning, he had lived in his office couch for so many nights after Haley had left him, until Derek happened.

He takes a seat next to her, the old kitchen he used to have a quick glass on milk in every morning before school ( it was everything his stomach could really tolerate) had been changed in something more colorful, modern, as if the whole place had been filled of happy memories and activities, “Can’t sleep?”

"It's seems like it" She takes the spoon, mixing the liquid she had inside the cup, it must have been cold by now the sound of the spoon clicking with every side of the mug was the only sound that could be heard in the silence, "I feel like it's my fault that you are back here"

"Sometimes I wish I hadn't gone back" He admits, his head rested on his hands, eyes closed as if he could tune it all out, he could reveal what this house did to him, "when Gideon left, I should have followed right behind him"

"Your work completes you"

He shakes his head, "Haley did" he said he opens his eyes, looks over at Jess, her movements completely stopped, she almost looked frozen hearing Haley's name

They both knew that it wasn't the complete truth, he had tried to separate his work and family time, but people had always needed him first, victims were what he chose over her. Over his family.

"My father has always done this" Jess stops, she lets a tear fall, there isn't anyone beside him here, no Jack who could see her cry all those tears she tries to hold on to as she tells him their stories, "It doesn't feel like a year has passed by"

"I sometimes think that she's right by the door" He admits, countless of days after her death, even before Erin had come into his house to talk about an early retirement he had tough about the possibility of Haley being around the same time she used to come to collect Jack, but she was never the one who drove him back to her, he knew that Jess had taken over that when their divorce was finalized.

“It doesn't feel real right?” Jessica stands, holding onto the cup, rounding the kitchen table, until she is in front of the sink, one water droplet had fallen, there's a little puddle where the water kept coming out even with the sink closed, that was how she felt like after her sister's funeral, knowing very well that she, being the oldest one, was - had- to be the one who died first.

“At what time do we have to be there?” It’s a filler question, he already knows the answer, the little card of a yearly ceremony to host Haley’s death, the words he had stared at when he read that it would be held in his hometown, where she was buried.

“10 a.m.” She puts her coat on, Aaron knows that she can’t stay in this house, if he could, he would walk out of here too, leaving Jack, Sean and his mother sleeping, but facing Roy earlier than he should have scared him to death, knowing that he still blames him for his daughters death, not like he blames himself, but close enough to spend as less time as possible in his presence.

He knows that Jess will be back here when it's brighter outside, early, when the reddish colors of the sky, fight off the darker colors of the night, that she will be there to wake up Jack, with her pajamas put on, the blanket of the couch unmade so he doesn’t think that she left to go to her own home, where her father was waiting up for her. Where Haley’s room still resided, the door closed next to her own, “Goodnight Aaron”

He lays on his bed for the second time in the night, midnight had already passed, he has the new suits he purchased for Jack and him, different for what they would wore almost a year ago in the chair he used to sit in every nights of his school days to study, the pain in his body always had been mortifying to sleep in, so he studied, that way his professors congratulated him with every new achievement, something his parents didn’t care on doing when he brought the grades home.

Jack, he learned that over the months he came to know his son better, would not be a night owl like him, he came to realize that his son loved to sleep in as much as he could, and he could not be happier to comprehend that Jack looked at sleep as a form or rest, instead of escape, it showed that he was, after all that happened trying to make a good job with him.

The last thing he browses over, instead of clicking on an old video that would show memories of a happy Haley, of a real Haley in his phone screen, not the ghost that comes to him some nights. It's Derek’s goodnight message that he clicks on, he had sent a picture of him and Prentiss, legs sprawled in their desks, his face contouring in what looked to be mid laugh as he threw something and Reid, JJ he suppose was the one who had photographed the moment, he sends back a simple ‘I’ll be back as soon as I can’ he knows that Derek would understand it, what he really meant with that, he missed him, but didn’t know how to comfort those feelings.

Tonight, was not supposed to be about him, it was not the correct way to dwell in his feelings for him, what would it meant for them, not when Haley was still present in all the good memories he cherished from his childhood and teenage years. Aaron knows that he'll find a way, someday to think about her, without feeling the burning sensation of tears in his eyes. But for now, the only thing he could muster was some hours left of sleep, hoping to find Haley there, waiting for him to come to her, like he did the first time they met.

[candied-peach]

ao3: “all my troubles” rating: T warnings: platonic logicality, drowning, attempted murder genre: angst with a happy ending description: Patton should have known better. He believes the best in people anyway. It backfires. ( day 26: “Sometimes dead is better.” — Stephen King, Pet Semetary @tsshipmonth2020 )

Patton approaches the town hall, his shoes squelching with every step. He's utterly freezing, but he can't make himself care. He can hear them, hear them celebrating, and a coal of white hot fury flares to life in his chest, burning hotter than any chill could hope to defeat. He flings open the door, letting it thud off the wall, and the conversation and music jangle to a discordant stop.

Patton steps forward, his shoes still squelching and leaving river water stains everywhere. There is a shocked horror present on every face, guilt squirming underneath it. It makes him sick to his stomach.

"I'm not dead," he says aloud, the words dull and flat. "What did I ever do to you?" He demands. "I just had a garden. I had a garden and I helped your pets. Helped your children. I helped cure sicknesses and found lost livestock. Why did you-" He breaks off, with a dead little laugh. "It doesn't matter," he says.

"You're a witch," some daring soul blurts out. Patton's gaze could shatter glass.

"And?" He says. There is no more talk. "Did I ever hurt you? Kill you? Destroy your animals? Steal your harvest?" There is a shuffle of shaking heads.

"I did nothing but help you," Patton whispers. "And you tried to drown me." Water still trickles down the back of his neck, ice cold.

"May God have mercy upon you," Patton says. "Because I sure won't." He turns to limp back out, saying over his shoulder, "Sometimes, dead is better."

A clamor arises at that, a hubbub of panic and unease, but Patton's already waving a hand and shutting the door. He won't kill them, despite his words. But they'll spend a harsh night in the town hall. Maybe two. He's not entirely sure how well he's sealed the building, but it's definitely good for a night.

As he approaches the edge of the village, his black cat slinks out from a bush, meowing plaintively at him.

"You're right," he tells his familiar, who looks up at him with mismatched eyes and meows again. "I do have time. But first-"

He whistles, sharp and short and loud. There is a rustle among the bushes, then a man walks out. Another witch, who frowns at Patton's sopping wet appearance.

"Save the lectures, Lo," Patton says tiredly. Logan waves a hand at him, drying his clothes and hair, saying nothing.

"They didn't deserve your assistance," Logan finally murmurs. Patton sighs, and looks back one last time.

"The children did," he says. "And the animals. I'll never regret helping them."

"Fair," Logan acknowledges, tilting his head. "Come. They barely ransacked your house, so you should be able to change and pack properly."

Patton follows, no longer squelching with every step. His cat trots along at his side, meowing every once in a while.

The village is silent behind them.