#anyway i miss writing i'd love to get some new (and old) stuff going :-(

[judasgot-it]

Ello o/, I really like your writing style. May i req the reader pretends to be a client but actually a member of the agency but the ADA doesn't remember the reader because they have an ability to make anyone/everyone forget they exist and used it to protect the agency also dazai is the only one who remembers them.

I'm so sorry I took so long to get to this request I've been busy with life and all of that lame stuff

Also, I hope you don't mind but I changed it a Lil to be a two-parter with Ranpo as well, I feel like he would figure it out pretty quickly

Scenario: reader visits the ADA pretending to be a client. Dazai is the only one who remembers them working for the agency. (Dazai, Ranpo)

Part 1; Dazai

"So what brings someone as lovely as you to the agency today?"

Dazai was standing in front of you, giving you his best smile. He was holding your hand and reciting his lines as if you were in a play - although between the two of you, he looked like he was giving a performance for the ages.

"Dazai, you can't flirt with everyone that comes into the agency. You know this."

Kunikida had walked over from his desk, making sure to check up on your conversation. He just wanted to ensure you actually got the help that you needed and weren't swept away by Dazai's antics.

A part of you missed this.

"Oh, we're fine Kunikida. In fact, Dazai was just going to lead me to your consultation room so he could help me with my case."

You were covering for Dazai. Old habits die hard you suppose.

"You know, you shouldn't stress out so much Kunikida, you'll get grey hairs. Actually? I think you have some already!"

Dazai took this as his chance to poke around Kunikida's head, 'showing' him his gray hairs. You had to put a hand over your mouth to stop your laughter as you watched the two of them argue.

"I'll be in the room waiting on you Dazai. I don't have all day, you know?"

You walked out of the room, leading yourself through the building. Nothing really changed since you'd been there, although you could spot a couple of new faces among those working at their desks.

It was nice to see the agency moving on and continuing to grow.

The room was a bit different as well. They had finally replaced the old chairs that had been torn in a fight.

They were now a softer, blue fabric. The room seemed more softer, especially for what the room always brought with it.

"So, you finally decided to come back?"

Dazai appeared behind you, closing the door to the room - giving the two of you some much-needed privacy.

The curtain had closed on your little play.

"Well, only to visit. I'm leaving Yokohama tomorrow so I thought I'd stop by beforehand and see how you were all doing."

You looked behind you to see Dazai smiling. Although, you could clearly tell it wasn't a happy one.

"Let's sit down, I feel like you're going to want to know a bit about where I've been. I'll tell you if you promise to keep it a secret, ok?"

You had already moved to sit down on the small office chairs in the room - they were cozy enough for what would essentially be an interrogation.

Dazai wanted answers from you. Knowing him, he was going to get them one way or another - no matter how nice he was about it.

It was hard to stay silent anyway. He was the only man who really knew your predicament. You had hunches about everyone else, but it wasn't like they could escape your ability.

Even if they had this feeling about you, they couldn't escape the gap in their memories. No matter what, you were just a blindspot to them. The moment they met you, they would forget about you once again.

"You want to know why I left the agency, right?"

The most you left behind was a vague sense of unease. Not knowing why you had a sense of dejavue over a certain book and wondering why you know so much about something.

It was a great ability to have for a vagabond.

Dazai shook his head, placing it between it on his folded hands.

"You caught me there. I know how you did it, but I don't know if I can really figure out your why."

You looked to the window.

"Why did you leave when you were happy? Is it some form of punishment? It's got me really curious."

The view was perfect. Nothing would come and distract you from having to respond to the question.

He caught you, like a bird in flight.

"Because I don't have a choice. The longer I stay anywhere, the more dangerous I become. Right now I am just a ghost - I'm sure the president knows I exist, but can never really put a thumb on it."

You tried to wiggle around in your seat, looking as if you were in complete control.

"But if I stayed, eventually the feeling of being forgotten would wear off. It's painful being ignored, but when it happens all the time I can never feel the pain - I'm numb. But the agency?"

You let a watery smile out. Being in the room, finally talking to someone that wasn't a stranger. Talking to Dazai, who actually remembered you no matter how many times you activated your ability.

It was refreshing.

The walls that you had built up were breaking down.

"We got close. But eventually, I saw that their memory would get spotty, and it was happening again. I can't stand to see the people I love to forget about me, I don't want to become a stranger to them."

You hid your eyes behind your hands, trying to shield them from the sun. That's why they were dripping tears. Telling yourself this helped stave them off.

"So you left before that could happen, right?"

You felt an arm wrap around you, pulling you close.

Dazai's jacket wasn't exactly the softest, but you stayed close as you tried to push back your tears. You knew this visit would be hard, that you would have a hard conversation - but you didn't want to break down.

You tried to mumble out some sort of excuse or apology but your words were failing you.

Which left you with nothing but silence.

"Dazai. Thank you for not forgetting about me."

You took the lapels of his jacket in your hands, pulling him closer. You hadn't hugged someone who wasn't a stranger in so long. This was a feeling you definitely missed since your departure from the ADA.

"Y/n."

Dazai pulled away, bending down so the two of you were face to face. He cupped your face with his surprisingly calloused hands, analyzing you with his soft brown eyes.

He let out a breath, in some emotion that you couldn't really place.

"Anytime."

He backed away, wiping away his serious demeanor with a Cheshire smile.

"Besides. It's not like I have a choice in it. You know, you leave quite the impression on people!"

There was something behind those words. You felt it. The way he missed you, how it was unsaid in the air but was shown in the way he kept eyeing you.

He still kept his hands on you, as if the moment he let go, you would once again fade into a burning memory that only he was cursed to hold. Like so many other moments in his life.

A part of you wanted to stay, just for him. The feeling of his hand on your shoulder as he led you throughout the building, keeping you around so you could talk to the members one last time.

But your mind was unfortunately set.

He was nice enough to introduce you to the new members who had joined in your absence - it was a smart ploy.

He was trying to bide time, keeping an arm wrapped tightly around you while he joked around with Atsuhi about some memories they had a while back.

You could see how he tried to make you seem as if you never had left. As if you were always here.

It was a really smart ploy. It almost made you want to cancel your ability just so you could see everyone understand the inside joke that Dazai had said. One that only now you two understood.

If he was quiet after you had gone, staring at the papers at his desk - well that was, unfortunately, a secret only he would know.

Part 2; Ranpo

You were set to depart Yokohama in less than an hour. In the meantime, you were meandering the train station, biding your time.

After having visited the ADA again, you felt a bit lost. You truly did want to stay - but you felt that the ramifications of that action would be worse than if you continued living as a vagabond.

Your ability altered people's memories to the point that they themself would forget about your existence one day - the curse of being able to run away at a drop of a hat.

You can always run, but seemingly never stay. Somehow, they would always forget about you. Either gradually or suddenly, you knew that it would happen.

Freedom was a blessing, but it always came at a high price.

"Is this line A? I don't really know the system around here well."

Ranpo had sat next to you, making you jump in shock.

He was looking at you, waiting for your answer. He didn't seem to recognize you - not from earlier in the day, and not from when you had worked together.

It was a blessing, you supposed.

You took a breath to calm down.

"Yeah, you have the right one. It's not coming for an hour or so though, so you have time."

You hoped he would walk away. Being near anyone from your past always made you hurt in some way or another.

He seemed stubborn though, drapping his shoulders across the back of the bench and spreading his legs out in front of him - like a starfish on a rock, leaving himself out to sunbathe.

"I think I know you from somewhere. Do I?"

That made you stop.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I just mean - have we met before? You seem familiar. I have a feeling I met you, kind of like..."

He put his hand in his pocket, unwrapping a lollipop.

"I can't put my finger on the word..."

He stuck it in mouth with a loud pop.

"Dejavu?"

You supplied it to him, hoping he would go away. A cold, sinking had settled into your gut.

"Yeah! That's right!"

He looked at you, smiling wide. You realized your mistake when you saw that he had his glasses on.

"That's your ability name, right, Y/n?"

This was when you realized how unsettlingly quiet this station was. The announcement on the intercom felt like it was ringing in your ears.

Ranpo was still staring at you, waiting for you to piece a sentence together.

"Do you remember me?"

The man shrugged, settling back down. He was comfortable enough to take up more of your space than you had realized - his legs brushing up against yours.

"No. But I know that I could - if you let me. The ADA is a detective agency, Y/n. You can't exactly run forever when you have us on your tail."

Ranpo didn't wait for you to comprehend what he was saying. He leaned in close, your noses brushing up against each other.

"You're going to keep coming back."

"So. What are you going to do then?"

He said it in a monotone voice, as a simple statement.

"And even you think we won't find you - I will. I'm the best detective. No mystery is beyond me, not even your ability."

He waved up some papers. They were notes, photos and documents.

He was tracking you.

Ranpo smiled.

"I could go for some coffee."

"I dunno. You want to stay. I'm pretty hungry right now."

He was waving the documents around in a small circle, still refusing to give you space.

It was subtle, but you weren't going to get away from him without a chase.

I'm leaving the ending super open-ended, but Ranpo catches everyone in his life in weird ways so I feel like he'd do it this way too cause if you can somehow escape him once you're on his mental list

[monst]

Da rules

Well here's some new rules and a reintroduction: 

     I go by Monst and I guess I’m writing again: I do read faster than I write so enjoy all the reblogs lol

I like the color orange it's not relevant, just thought I'd put it out there

Uh the bnha master list is definitely not up to date and needs a revamp (I will probably get to that eventually, someday...soon...) Speaking of it Here's the DC one and Here's the BHNA one.

Anyways if you're interested below is basically the what's what. Stick around if you want.

 Okay cool!

       I’m a new person! (Not really still v much unhinged) But we do have some new rules so let’s get to it: 

All characters for nsfw stuff are aged up 18+ (If you’re one of those (Can't separate reality from fiction/fantasy) then the unfollow/block buttons haven’t moved from their location and you are free to use them at your discretion )  

     I’m cool with: 

Requests- Hcs, Scenarios, thirst posts, Ya sending ideas, thirst, recommendations, ask for advice or info dump (Might not get to all of them, and might not do some I’m not feeling) I write for F. Reader, GN. reader and M. Reader. Genre: all of them tbh

Ships! Character x character is cool - Block #Ship🤌 if it's not for you

Random shit- You telling me about your day, thoughts, opinions on whatever ig. I love to chat. 

I’m okay with dark content (Dubcon, noncon, yandere, somno, etc.) and everything should be tagged appropriately. You can always ask that I tag something if it is missing. 

Sfw- Fluff, angst basically anything that tickles my fancy. Most of my longer stuff is going to be sfw going forwards and while probably be on Ao3

Music! Tell me what your listening too! (Yes I'm one of those 'I listen to everything' I need new stuff to listen to)

Also! I miss the whole deviant art/Quizzilla shit so I might do a whole seven minutes in heaven thing lmao (This doesn’t belong here but scream at me about it cause I need it to happen for nostalgia’s sake) 

    I’m not cool with: 

Scat

Underage/PDF

Incest (This one's a toss up, it honestly depends cause I've written for it both step & blood related)

Use your discernment ig

Also, I'm kinda using this space as a kinda fun mostly horny diary lmao so it's just mostly gonna be vibes

So here’s the fandoms&Characters if you wanna request: 

Mha- 

Shocker, but I do have some old asks that are too good to just let’em go ya know?  

Shinsou (I started this blog cause of him so.. yeah) 

Villain/Yandere Deku sorry

Bakugou

Endeavour 

Dabi

Hawks

Tokoyami 

Shoto

Dc- 

Please, please, please send me shit about Tim Drake. (Need him biblically) Literally hopped back on for him. 

Jason Todd

Dick Grayson

Bruce Wayne

Selina Kyle 

Poison Ivy 

Joker (Nothing good is coming out of anyone requesting this I just know it) 

Constantine 

Diana (Wonder woman my beloved) 

Amanda Waller 

Cheetah 

Slade Wilson… 

JJK-

Nanamin 

Gojo  

Inumaki 

Invincible- 

Mark Grayson 

…Nolan...

Debbie

Alan! 

Naruto-

Kakashi ‘blow my back out’ Hatake

Itachi 

Shisui (My love)

Madara

Tobirama’s messy ass

Ask for more but these are my faves 

D- gray man-

Yuu Kanda!

Tyki Mikk

Kingdom Hearts-

Riku

Vanitas 

Most of the organization tbh

FF7-

All of them. 

But especially Sephiroth 

Any type of monster lmao 

Kenji Sato lmao

You can ask for others not listed in different fandoms I just think this has gotten a bit too long  

And Yeah, Let’s have fun! ^^

New Tags: 

         This bitch is yapping - Any asks answered or just general shit

         Thirsty bitch juice - Small scenarios, thirst,

         Pretty things- Art 

         Oh la la that’s some good shit right there- Fic recs & reblogs

         On my monster fucking bs - Monster fucking lol 

         Lock that shit up in the basement pls- cursed asks and stuff 

Uh random bullshit go! - My newer writing

And if you made it this far down here's a cookie 🍪

[phoenix-reburned]

More coherent thoughts in a minute but

CAMP CAMP CAMP CAMP CAMP CAMP CAMP CAMP AGSNDJSJSJRFNFKDUWYEGEF

Anyways onto actual stuff. I actually like the voices now that I've heard them in actual quality, it will take some time to get used to some little things (Max especially has a few tones that are weird) but all in all I think they did great and I find that they fit the characters pretty well. Max's is definitely my favorite change outta the bunch.

I love how they addressed the hiatus in Nikki's letter in the beginning, it was nice to see them acknowledge how long the fans have been waiting. I really enjoyed the characterization in this episode. I've seen people say that Max was inconsistently characterized in s4, and while I didn't really notice it I think the writing on all the kids was really good. I love the Dolph redesign, it fits him so much more and I'm glad they're finally getting rid of the stupid Hitler stuff.

I liked how good the humor was in this episode, a lot less offensive-shocking humor and more... Idk well written humor I guess? It's 3am rn forgive me for my stupidity rn lol.

The plot was good too. They spent enough time on the funny, typical camp camp plot while also taking the time to actually take the characters, their development, and their story as a whole seriously. I enjoyed both halfs, but the second half was definitely the highlight. It was what a lot of us were wanting for a long time. I love how they let Max grieve the loss of summer and didn't force him to be optimistic at the end. I love how David was real with him and actually TALKED to him. I know it's not the first time but this episode's Dadvid moment definitely stands out as one of the BEST moments in the entire series imo. The end was amazing and I loved seeing my kids again and can't wait to see even more next year!

Now onto season 5 general thoughts. I'm curious if Gwen is gonna be completely absent from next season since she's got her new writing gigs. It would be nice to have her visit for an episode or two still, or at least show that she and David are still talking. I think it'd be fun to have a new character to replace her as a counselor, hell maybe even two counselors! I'm also wondering how many kids are gonna be back next summer. I mean the main trio obviously, but are they gonna try and add and remove characters? I wonder if they'll write Dolph out permanently with this. It would be cool to have a few new campers this season, but I hope that doesn't come at the cost of our old ones leaving. Those are kind of my main questions going into this season and I'd love to hear what everyone else thinks about this stuff.

Also, Max and photography is not something I thought would mix but it's actually perfect and I love it I missed my son so bad-

[ticklyblues]

YOUR FIRST FIC WAS SO CUTE AAAAAAAA!!!!!

if you wouldn't mind another request, I would love to see ler!gwen and lee!pavitr!!! their dynamic is a missed opportunity in general, but also, there's barely any gwen tk content unless it's a buncha people ganging up on one personnnnn!!!!!

ANYWAYS, I think gwen going after pavitr because he's overworking himself w/school and spider stuff to force him to take a break would be neat. or just any concept where she's trying to get him to do/say something!!!

uhHhh, if you want specific spots, I hc pav to have chin and lower back melt spots and his underarms as a death spot!!! but with your lovely writing, you could probably use anything, and I'd agree wholeheartedly

sorry for the essay!!!! blows kisses /p

Thank you so much, thats so nice of you to say all that! Also I 100% agree I do not see enough gwen content in general and she definitely deserves some!

Blows kisses back !! /p

Taking Breaks

856 words

Lee!Pavitr

Ler!Gwen

CW: minimal swearing

It was a pretty slow day at the spider society. As usual, there was some new Peter, some old Prowler, and some everyday disasters. Nothing they'd need their "small elite strike force" for, though. Starving, Gwen made her way over to the cafeteria to find some spider-themed delicacy to wolf down.

"Spider-donuts, spider-cupcakes, spider-popsicles... hm. I feel like that one might be a little offensive." Mumbling to herself, she grabbed a few spider-sandwhiches and started inhaling her first one.

BUZZZZZZZ!!!

There goes the 11:30AM alarm. Miguel likes to keep things orderly, so he has bells every 30 minutes to keep track of time in a "neat" way, as he describes it. Gwen's hair messed itself up as she snapped her head to look at the clock. "Shit!" she whisper-yelled, she was supposed to meet up for Pavitr's lunch break 15 minutes ago!

In a split second, she was travelling to his dimension, sandwhiches in hand. "He doesn't even LIKE tomatoes..." Grumbling as she tossed the sandwhich abominations into the void, she prayed that he wouldn't mind her tardiness. Despite his occasional sarcasm, he was still a pretty forgiving guy.

Out of breath, she finally reached his school roof, their unofficial "meeting place". There was a surprising quietness in the air, meaning there was no way Pav could even be in Mumbattan, let alone school. The dude has pretty chaotic energy, okay?

Gwen doesn't have to look around to know this. While she thought it was odd that he'd be even more late than her, she found it in herself to wait. After what felt like an eternity, he finally bursted through a portal, still wearing his spidersuit.

"Woah, Gwen! I am SO sorry you had to wait for me, I had some spider stuff to take care of and on top of that I have, like, 4 papers due and-"

"No, no, no! I totally understand, dude. Besides, I just got here too." She didn't mind lying just this once, it was for Pav's sake after all. "You sound exhausted though... you alright?"

"Yep! Totally alright over here! Don't worry, Gwenny. I know how to manage my duties!" His totally-not-stressed tone might've fooled her, if he didn't have that weird grin on his face. Gwen knew, whenever Pavitr Prabhakar pulled out that fake smile that didn't even show all his teeth, something was up.

"Pav, are you sure? You know you can talk to me about this sort of thing, right? You really don't have to overwork yourself with all this, especially since you're still in school. I don't have anything on my plate, let me handle the spider stuff for you, it's the least I could do"

"Bro, I swear! I don't need to take a break from anything. I love what I do, it's almost too easy! Besides, even if I was overworking myself, there isn't much you can do to- EEK!"

Alright, she had been provoked. Gwen started clawing at his belly, pinning him to the hard, concrete roof with her free hand. Pavitr's loud, airy laugh filled the city's sky.

"Gwhhehehehen!!" Out came his smile. The dorky smile that showed all his teeth and truthfully, looked kind of stupid. But that smile was his, and he wore it proudly.

"Pavvvv!" Gwen whined, mockingly. "But seriously, dude. You gotta relax for once. The first step is realizing that's what you need!" Sensing this wasn't going anywhere as is, she quickly flipped him over and started tracing his lower back.

Pavitr almost turned into jelly at this. Even though he quieted down a little, his attempt at a backwards fetal position spoke volumes.

"Plehahaeeseeee?" Barely being able to form words at this point, he tried his best to look up at the Spiderwoman and make a sort of frowny face. Gwen snorted at this. "Puppy eyes aren't gonna work on me, pal! All you have to do is let me take over for you for a little bit."

Wanting a little more of a reaction, she gently flipped him back over and tried scratching at his underarms. Nothing could have prepared her for the borderline HELLISH shriek that came out of that boy's mouth.

"HEHEHEHELPPPP!!!! GWHEHEHEEENNNN I'LL DO ANYTHIHIHIHING!!" This was a lie, and Gwen knew it, obviously. If he really meant it, he would've told her to stop by now. Staying at his armpits, the Ghost-Spider switched techniques to vibrating softly. If before's screams were considered hellish, she wouldn't even know what to call these ones.

"EEEEEEEKKKKK!!!" Feeling bad for the guy, she moved her hands upwards to the little spot under his chin. Going back to melt-mode, Pav tried his best to get his words out. "Fihihihihineee!! I'll let you tahahahake overrrr!"

Pulling her hands back, Gwen helped him get up. She was glad he could finally relax, now that she'd be replacing him for the time being.

Pavitr's break ended with him and Gwen, drinking tea and spending time in eachothers presence. They didn't talk, and they didn't need to. Because they knew that no words needed to be exchanged for them to be as close as they were.

[samuelroukin]

hi! not here in favor of you making Actual Books (i don't even read any of the newly published books anymore for reasons and reasons and reasons), just complimenting your work in general

i dont really care for cod at all but i really enjoy how you write the characters!! and tbh the only reason i watched some playthroughs of the games was so i could understand your work better. sure, fandom is the main reason people click in, but it's definitely not why they're staying. and it's not why people are writing paragraphs of praise to your stubborn ass even though you work so hard to never listen to any of it 💖

also id be enchanted to hear more about your ocs on future works or even here on tumblr!! you're great at creating made up people that actually feel real. they're pretty round (funnily enough that is the actual technical term), even when you don't tell us a lot about them

also 👀👀 say you have original stuff in mind?????? i would love love love love love to know more about that!! you're getting pretty darn good at worldbuilding and ambiance. better with each update now that you're trying out this AU thing. it would be infinitely interesting to see what you come up with when working with your own stuff only

anyway what i mean is. even though I don't quite believe in Published Books on this day and age, please know that your writing is definitely good enough for the editorial market (even more so now that those dark romance things are going mainstream and a lot of them read like the stuff 12yos post on wattpad. what tf is the deal with that? but I digress. out of those circles your work is still definitely good enough) it's legit like Good Work, even if the tiny mean bully whispering in your ear disagrees. it's good realism. good introspection. good porn and also good narrative and great junction of those. it's lovely seeing how far you've come in so little time and we're excited to see you reach new heights in the future (because you will, with absolute certainty, unless you stop. but i don't think you could really stop yourself at this point lmao)

and please know that achieving that level of quality with no help or instruction or training in so little time is a grand fucking accomplishment

point is: Who Care? We Care (even if we're not an enormous audience)(...yet?). and not just because it's cod

it's def a nice compliment to get thank u 🙏💖

and so is you reading my stuff without caring much for cod! though i wouldn't be able to write this much about them without (clearly) being completely insane about Them and the basis the games laid (haha laid) because without them i'd be nowhere at all, these characters are so. well they clearly took over my brain lol, though i worry a Lot about them being ooc when i write them 💀

i actually feel like my guys are so barebones and one dimensional rip, which is fine since i mostly created them as little more than a joke and they're just being used as set dressing, so that means a lot 🙏

my Main story is this sprawling urban fantasy thing, which if i ever did write it would need serious adjustments since it's. old and not aged very well. the gist of it was the main character (30 year old barista) has Visions, cue road trip with his bestie (ex bf from high school that he reconnected with years later) to figure out The Deal after they suddenly get much worse. it's about that on the surface, and below about dealing with missed chances and not living up to ur potential. it sounds stupid but i've been Thinking about it since i was like 14 so cringe is to be expected lol

lsklhkjhffghst yeah no offense to them but despite this fic being what it i i wouldn't really want to fall into that category even if that sound like i think i'm better than them (i'm not it's just not my thing. or i guess it is and i just have a superiority complex. anyway) um thank you once again 🥺i def feel like i haven't improved a lot but you're dead on about not being able to stop myself anyway lmao

idk why you're being this nice to me but 💖💖💖

[narancias-headband]

A big announcement...

Hi everyone! Very long time, no see.

I've gone through and cleaned things up around here a good bit, deleting old posts and fixing up my masterlist again. You might have seen some posts as I fix things up around here.

But the short and sweet version of this post is...

I'm coming back to this blog!!

It's going to be a decent bit different than before, but I do want to write and share my thoughts with you all again. :)

An important note! I will no longer taking 'requests', but I'd love some inspiration from everyone! I'm not going to hold myself to write anything that doesn't seem right for me. Feel free to send in requests/ideas for inspiration, and please do not be offended if I never get to them! I promise, I'm not judging! Some brief rules on what to ask for are here in my pinned post (they're mostly the same as before haha).

A very LONG rambling update under the cut for anyone wondering what in the world I've been up to.

So... A lot has changed in the past few years here... It's been like a year since y'all have heard from me... Mainly, my hyperfixation on JoJo's went away for a while. So that's my brain's fault haha. I've done this a few times with a few blogs, so I guess I was expecting to drop it sooner or later. What I didn't expect was how much I miss this blog (believe me, I have no regrets on my old blog deaths).

I've been watching JoJo's with a dear friend of mine lately, and the need to write has been stirring again. And then we hit Part 5... My brain was shifted back into fanfic mode instantly. I saw Formaggio and remembered my dear husband. I went and read through so much of my old stuff and remembered how much fun I used to have writing. I'm already working on a few new things, and a few old things, but I'm in no rush.

Which relates to some of the changes I'm hoping to make here. In all honesty, I did a lot here for the attention of people and the approval of the fandom. And that is not sustainable! No wonder I had writing burnout so much... I'm not planning to take as many requests anymore, and I will be much more focused on creating things that make me happy than anything else. Hopefully others enjoy it anyway :)

So... What have I been up to? My life has been taking lots of unexpected twists and turns. My, not entirely intentional, unemployment has opened up some free time to get back to things I enjoy. And I will never let a job take over my life like that again. Good news is, I'm working on my mental health and I finally feel creative again! I want to write and draw and think and I actually have the energy for it!

I've been very lost in the awful job market lately, and being at home alone all day isn't the most thrilling, but even just the minor things I've been doing behind the scenes on this blog have made me feel great. It's a bit more fulfilling than just playing Fortnite all day 😅

And me? I've grown up a lot lately. Working through mental issues, focusing on myself and my happiness, making changes for the better. Which is the main reason I really want to come back! This blog made me so happy and that's my main goal lately. I'm back into JJBA hardcore, I've become a Fortnite kid, and my love of Pokémon has come back in full force. And I have a new pretty gaming PC to sit and write at and the more I use it the more it's worth the $1500 I spent on it.

Oh, and one last thing... For better or worse, I've pretty much ended up a functional stoner. 😅 Probably expect more headcanons about getting high with diff characters that will be way better than the goofy ones I wrote way back when.

[leggyre]

hi all! sorry, this is going to be a bit of a sad post.

I just want to share that Nano passed away today. He was a very old bun at 9 years old and we just couldn't keep it up with his increasingly difficult health issues.

As of right now, I'm not asking for consolation or any words of comfort. It's the first time I'm dealing with a loss of this scale, of something I've loved so dearly for so long, that I'll never get back.

I'm still coming to terms about how I feel about it. There were so many times I felt like meeting him was fate. And to be honest, I still do. I set out to adopt a classic white bunny(because honestly that's the only color I had ever seen in the place before) but between all the sleepy or hungry babies there was a little black mischievous boy hoping around and approaching people who gave my finger little kisses and I just couldn't leave him there. We didn't have any boxes or cages to carry him in so he got to pee on my lap on the way home lol

The first time he licked me after that day, something I thought would take ages to happen after lengthy Bunny Research(tm) telling me so, was maybe within a few days or a week, but what made the moment as special as it was for me was the fact I was sitting on the ground, having a breakdown, crying my eyes out. I have a really hard time using the word love to others because I'm never sure of my feelings and I don't want to say it without meaning, but from then on I had never been so sure about how much I loved him.

I have a lot of other stories like that. He helped me learn a lot about myself. He gave me company at my worst. I missed him so much when I had to stop allowing him on the bed to take a nap with me because one day he just decided peeing there was okay. I laid down on the floor on the most uncomfortable positions for the longest time because he had fallen asleep in my arms. I did that this morning, after I was told he might not make it when we went to see the vet today. It didn't even feel like anything was wrong, really. I kinda thought maybe we shouldn't go and I could keep doing that tomorrow. And the day after. And the next. But every time he woke up and shuffled around it was so easy for me to tell he was uncomfortable, trying to find a way to lay down in a way that would ease the pain. He didn't look any different to most people, but I memorized every single kind of motion he ever did.

And it's funny to think that he knew me the same way. He knew exactly what me shutting off the computer sounded like and that it was the perfect time to beg for snacks and attention. He knew when I was hiding something for him. He knew exactly where I walked so he could leave the god damned piss traps in the way when he was mad at me. He knew that if he kept poking his nose out the fence long enough I'd come back eventually to pet him more even if I had already walked all the way to my bed and laid down. And he knew that he could come to me for comfort whenever he felt scared or in pain. He trusted me so much and that meant the world to me.

Just to add one weird, maybe funny thing that's gonna keep me pondering forever; one day, years ago, I wished that I could be the one to take any pain he'd ever feel. Since then, I kind of took note that we'd have our sickest days together, and often in similar ways. It's most likely confirmation bias, but I do like to think I did manage to take some of his pain from him.

Well. My plan was just to share the news and go on with my day. Think about stuff. Couldn't keep from writing this much, though, so I just decided to let it all out anyway.

Again, I don't want any comfort. I will always love him, the things he taught me, and the memories I'm blessed with. I will be okay.

I want the thought of him to keep bringing joy into my life, because that's the thing he's always been the best at. The second best was destroying specifically videogame related cables.

heres some shenanigans to brighten up the mood :]

and here's a cute pic from years ago as well 🐇💞

[baekhvuns]

HIIII BAEKSSSSS I missed you 😔 how are you? Wsp? How's everything?

Man, I've been pretty peaceful I'd say..kinda idk. Maybe the calm before the storm but that's besides the point. I miss your work so so so much 🥹🥹🥹 like rlly, not wanting to pressurise you just GIRL RLLY MADE 2022 SUCH A GOOD EXPERIENCE.

Anyways I've been watching a ton of stuff ofc, found a new pakistani drama 😈😈 well it's kind of the same plot as u wld guess, but I like this one it's like if not a lot then a bit diff frm the same ass dynamic. It's like a first daughter x youngest son the fun part is it was supposed to be, first daughter x first son but he was a jerk and a red flag. So yes...it'd be fun, it's a silly dynamic imo ik for sure there are going to be a ton banters.

ALSO dude these asmr Rps be getting Outta hand 😭 Nah cz i cried. I CRIED. THE ANGST OHHHHH. Some asmr artists are just so fucking good like alanakamakwk i felt like I was in a movie.

Lemme tell u a bit abt it, so the concept was basically, an old bsf comes back into the listener's life not in a bad way or anything just cz the bsf lived farrrrr away.

"do you wanna see the new tattoo i got?"

LIKE OKAY and then we did trace them too and a while later the convo goes deep "i got this tattoo bcz u told me seven years ago, what you don't rmr?" And then he sort of reminisces over the old times

"and that day..I went home, and texted you how much I liked you. And wanted to hang out with you a bunch.."

"that didn't happen I never texted you."

BRO OMG OMG ONWKWJWKW IM TELLING YOU THE FREAKIN TENSION BW ME AND MY HEADPHONES.

And then the best part was the listeners bf calls who also used to be friends with the bsf, and goes "i love you."

In hopes of hearing it frm us too. "Dear...?" Silence.

NO CUZ IMAGINE STANDING IN FRONT OF SOMEONE U ACTUALLY LOVE AND U GOTTA SAY ILY TO YOUR BF WHAT??? OMG.

And then when he comes out to go run errands he talks to the bsf AKA THE ASMR ARTIST I TELL U HIS VOICE *melts*

"we'll see you right?"

"... farewell"

That's the visual representation of me I'm not even kidding. And....he just leaves. LIKE THAT?? WHAT ABOUT US AHHHH *dies*

Nah but yes, I've been obsessed now. At least it makes me feel something 😮‍💨

Ok also no way my old Bollywood obsession is dying anytime soon *listens to bol na halke halke*

Anyways bye bye baeks MAKE SURE TO TELL ME ABT YOURSELF HOW U DOING AND STUFF OK?? OK MWAH ILY 🤭

YOU SENT THIS LAST WEEK AND I JUST KIND OF LOGGED INFBWNDBSK SO SORRY

i hope you’re doing well!! i’m currently sick bc of a heatwave i caught at a wedding 🥰🥰

i’m glad you’re feeling peaceful! AND DHSKDHKW DONT MENTION IT FNDMSKC ITS BEEN 2 YEARS 😭😭😭 maybe my writing bug just dimmed LMFAOOOO haven’t been on here or read anything, ive been in my drafts just giggling and reading but never like posting or writing fbdndb but ive kind of, maybe wanting to write something for fall time which i’m not sure ill post but it’s got me smiling a bit!

WHAT IS THE SHOW TELL ME 🔫

omg i can never get behind asmr, i have this thing called misophonia, i just despise the way the arm sounds make my ears feel fmandksb i just feel triggered BUT U CRIED BC OF IT WHY 😭😭

u gotta send me the link of it bc the voice actor u say… 👁

does our bollywood obsession rly die 😭😭 the new tauba tauba got me going a bit crazy,,, heard the jannat bgm but sad version and iM OBSESSED WITH IT, it lowkey inspired me to think and write <3 got me giggling and imaging stuff <3 in my pillow fbwndbsj

[faegoddessog]

 Seventy Two Hours of Bliss Ch. 38/41

Chapter 38: Letters from the Ice

Chapter Warnings: Explicitly mature content, 18+ only, talk about masturbation, separation angst,

Series Masterlist 

Series Summary:

You are neighbors with Austin Butler on the Gold Coast of Australia just prior to shooting Elvis. You become just friends because he is taken. However, after he is single again, you both find out just how attracted you are to one another and things get unrelentingly hot.

SERIES WARNING: Explicitly mature content, 18+ only,  here there be lemons.

Authors Notes: I started writing this while remodeling my kitchen, so that informed the slightly quirky narrative. It starts slow, but once it heats up, it is on fire. I have tried to pull facts from RL as much as I could, but obviously there are some assumptions and flat out dreamy wishes  involved here. 

Chapter 38: Letters from the Ice

8.25.2020

Hey babe! 

So, yay email! Hopefully this will work for us. :) But the internet is SO SLOW. Even with barely anyone here it took 10 min for my email to load. I am told by the winterers that trying to upload a video is all but impossible. But a picture *can* go through. Thank the local deity that we don’t have to super old school it and use carrier penguins! Yay! Well we finally made it to McMurdo. I can’t believe it’s been a whole month since I’ve seen you, well except for the phone calls in Christchurch. It feels like the band aid is really ripped off now. I’m just trying to breathe through it. I hope you are staying busy or at least distracted. I am excited to finally be here after 5 days of delayed flights as is the rest of my group. We’ve taken to calling ourselves a flock. I have no idea why. So I’ve got a room all to myself right now, but we’ll see how many people show up for the mainbody season in October, I may or may not have a roommate. So, there I was trying to get settled and I opened my big suitcase and found the books and the dark chocolate and the candles and the little bottle of essential oil blend. Fuck it smells like you. It made me cry and smile at the same time. Thank you baby. This is a classic pic me in front of the station sign. It looks darker than it was, but we only had 4 hours of sunlight and there was a storm coming. Wow, I thought I'd been through blizzards at home. This was nothing compared to what they got here! I’d send you a photo. But it’s literally just white.

I do have a confession to make. You remember that freakin’ hot phone sex we had during my quarantine? Yeah… um.. I recorded the audio, yup, every time. I’m gonna listen to your amazing voice telling me to touch myself. I think I’ll lube up my butt plug you gave me and push it into my ass imagining it’s you. Fuck I miss you. I miss your body next to mine at night and your cock in me in the morning. I love you Aus, I miss you. All the kisses for you. ~Your Kitten

8/26/20

Kitten!!!  I’m so stoked that we still get to keep in touch. Even if only over email. That pic of you in front of the sign feels surreal. I can't even tell it's you with all the layers! The landscape looks so desolate. I’m so glad you found my gifts, that’s just stuff I don’t like to live without, kinda like you. I’m not liking living without you. Although I’m STILL finding post-it notes. You little fiend, putting them in all my clothes. Makes me smile and cry too. I did get some exciting news though. Baz, as you know, has been checking up on me since you left. I really love him, he is such a marvelous soul. Anyway he told me yesterday that we will start rehearsals next week and filming is slated to start up again in mid to late September. Thank God, I gotta have something to focus on other than this empty apartment. I’m just waiting for the rest of the crew to get back in country, then I’ll be too busy to think. Also, I’m gonna talk to your Uncle Roy this week and make sure I can still stay here. Baz says the studio will give me a stipend for the apartment and I’ll just pass that along to him. That reminds me, Kate said she had not seen anything related to us from Marissa’s channel and that she would be willing to have a meeting with her, but she won’t make any guarantees. I have a confession too, I went and developed those couple rolls of film we'd taken. It was so fucking sad that you weren’t there to play with while I waited for them to dry. Anyway, You know how I wasn’t sleeping in our bedroom yet? Well, I put the photos I took of you up all over our bedroom and it finally let me sleep in there alone, although I might’ve cried myself to sleep just a little. When I woke up hard I had those gorgeous pictures of you in that black dress to jerk off to. Fuck you are hot and fuck I miss you so much. Oh my god, just reading that you are fucking your ass with my butt plug has me hard, you are such a naughty Kitten. I might have to keep track of how naughty you are and punish you accordingly when I see you next. I wish you were here to suck this hard cock right now. I think when I finish I’ll stroke myself while looking at those closeups of you and imagine your luscious lips wrapped around me. I’d send you a pic of it, but I’m terrified it could get out somehow. I love you more, I miss you terribly, only 187 more days to go.. Roughly. ~Your Aus

9.20.20

Hello my love,  So how’s things? Are you ready? I’m so excited for you to start filming again. You got this babe! I believe in you! (forehead kisses) There were satellite issues again when I tried to call you last night. I’m so sad we keep getting hosed on our phone calls. Soon you’ll be too busy to take a call from me! We are pretty solidly in the groove of our workday, that’s 6 days a week. I’m on the day shift right now and it’s been a bunch of maintenance checks and rebuilds on buildings and answering calls for service. There is a big build that got delayed due to covid, but we will be starting on that pretty soon. The food is surprisingly good. The galley really loves their themes. Taco Tuesday, Asian Nights, Sunday Brunch. The pizza is pretty good too! It’s not a woodfired oven made by the hands of angels good, but when you want pizza, it’ll do. Made a good group of friends, though we are all weird misfits here it seems. Do you remember when people had to talk to each other instead of stare at their phones? It’s like that here, since there isn’t wifi, not that it would work right. It’s amazing how old school it feels, it’s kind of wonderful. Probably sounds like torture to you my shy, introverted darling.

Most of the people here are guys. It’s like 70/30. I’m the only woman in my department, not like that’s new to me. The first day I showed up for work the foreman asked if I was in the wrong place. They tried to give me shit at first until I out-hammered them all in a nailing race. Just a dumb little competition thing. But it stopped them from fucking with me. Yeah, I know my stuff assholes! Lol! Now we are all good. Except for Joe, I do not like Joe. He just rubs me wrong and won’t let the girl thing go. We may have to have a little come-to-Jesus meeting during which I emasculate him with the claw on my purple hammer! The other women I’ve met have also been surprised by the overall disappointing behavior from some of these guys. There is a saying on the ice- “Antarctica: Full of badass women and mediocre men.” This is true. Not all the guys are that way though, some of them are nice and those are the ones that get laid. Yeah, there are a lot of hookups happening and there are free condoms, like, everywhere. No one here is as interesting or as sexy as my man though. Plus, you spoiled me with not having to use condoms. I miss your skin on mine, I miss your lips on mine, I miss your cock in my mouth. Since I don’t have a roommate yet, I think I’ll light your candle, put on the sexy music playlist we used to fuck to and add some of that EO to my wrists. I’m going to suck on my dildo. I’ll start slow just licking the tip, I’ll imagine your hand in my hair and your sky blue eyes watching every flick of my tongue. I’ll make sure my lips are good and wet before I slide it down my throat. And I’ll be fucking myself with my vibrator, the one that's curved. The only thoughts I'll have in my mind are ‘it’s your cock in my mouth, it’s your hand on my pussy, it’s you, it’s you, it’s you’. I’m gonna cum so hard, moaning around your imagined cock in my mouth, I may have to do it twice. God I miss you. Tell me more about how you jerk off to pictures of me, that is so damn hot. I’m just imagining you stroking yourself, playing with the tip a little. Damn. ~Your Slutty Kitty

 9/22/20

My bad, bad Kitty, I do not know how you do it, but are you aware of how fucking sexy you are? Even just via email you get me so riled up. How do you take the mere 26 letters of the alphabet and make them into these sexy fucking pictures in my head?! I miss my cock in your mouth too, I miss you laying out on the bed with your legs wide and my head buried between them. I don’t have anything to lick and pretend is your pussy, but I promise I will make up for it when I see you next. Oh lord I gotta go take care of this massively hard co

9/22/20

Hey love,  Sorry, I hit send without meaning to! You got me so hot I wasn’t thinking clearly. It didn’t take me long baby, I used that coconut oil from just before you left. The scent totally put me right back there with you on your knees devouring my cock. That reminds me, I need to get that dress dry-cleaned… It’s stopped smelling like you now so… I suppose it’s time. I’m ready- ish, the last 6 months made me feel like all the Elvis sunk into my bones. I’ve been working like a fiend with Baz and Polly and Irene and Erik. They have all commented on how it’s different now, more natural. My day is so full of Elvis again it’s hard to think about anything else. I’m so nervous all over again. I’m waking up at 3 again. I miss you. Not just for the sex baby, but you. You make me better. Please keep trying to call, my PA on set will have my phone when I don’t. I put one of your pics up in my trailer, btw, one of the clothed ones. I kiss my fingers and touch it every time I leave and say hello to it when I come in. People that see me do it still don't know who you are, (Baz and Tom are good secret keepers). That last article with the pics of you and I at the airport really threw them all off. I think Kate told me that the paps were searching the passenger lists for all outgoing planes to Europe that day to see if they could figure out who you were. It's fun to keep them guessing. I totally get the hooking up, happens on set too. People are people. I’m not worried about you Kitten. How’s your demon though… she doin’ ok? Getting out of hand at all… pun intended! Ok, early call in the morning. I love you so much. 160 days +/- ~ton Roi

10.11.20

My darling man,  FUCK I am still riding the high from talking to you last week! I can’t believe I caught you in your trailer too! I’m sorry I couldn’t play sexy games back with you because the phone was too public on my end. I loved you telling me how you were stroking yourself though and how you came on your stomach. I went right back to my room, to rub one out. Damn. Luckily my new roommate was at work. She asked me when she moved in why I had a pic of you and me on the wall by my desk. I told her I was in love with you. It was so funny, she sat down on the couch and started talking about you like we were in middle school. ‘ He’s so dreamy and I hear he broke up with his girlfriend and is dating a French woman!’ “was that the only time you met him?” Oh my god, it was all I could do to not laugh in her face. I’m sorry baby, I had to tell her. I hope you aren’t mad! I still don’t think she believes me, even after I showed her pictures of us (appropriately clothed of course). I appreciate you asking after that sexy bitch in my head. She is doing fine, staying on her lead. None of these people would satisfy her anyway. She’s too far gone for you. :) My daily horniness level has chilled out since I’ve not been getting fucked by you on the regular, though there are times! Oh and fun news! I’m going to be setting up a few field camps in a couple weeks, so I won’t be in touch much after halloween -ish. But I WILL be out on the literal ice. Think warm thoughts for me! At least I will get away from Joe! He is still a dick.

~your naughty Kitten (for different reasons)

10/12/20

Kitten,  Of course I’m not mad! Once you are back I want the whole world to know that you are mine and I am yours. Also, Kate set up a meeting with your cousin Marissa. I talked to her and got her info when I talked to Uncle Roy. (He still refuses to let me pay him.) Kate was impressed by her and is planning on offering her a paid internship. Love you baby, go conquer that ice! ~Aus

(Please read the following letter with a deep southern accent of yore) Twenty fifth day of October in the year of our Lord two thousand twenty My darling Austin, I pray that this electronic mail finds you healthy and hale. I have been feeling dashed about by the trials and travails of my good work here on the deep continent. We no longer are a sleepy little hamlet of a mere 200 people. Oh no! A veritable influx of learned people hath arrived, swelling our little cold town to over 800! The light has arisen indeed as we currently receive a joyful 15 hours of sunlight each blessed day. My dear roommate Tabitha seems to have accepted the love that exists between us, my dear Austin, since she overheard our delightful conversation on the telephone a scant few days ago. Indeed it seems she has spread our information to the other members of the kitchen staff as one of the good ladies asked me about it the other day as I procured my nourishment. The person in question didn’t know you, but was happy to know I was dating someone, since apparently the rumor had been circulating that I was a person uninterested, sexually that is. The very idea! My darling Austin, I shall be leaving in two days time for my quest on the ice. It will be my pleasure to erect structures providing temporary shelter from which the good men and women of science may illicit new and exciting information about this oft times perplexing world that humanity calls home. And before you query, yes, I must confess my dear Mr. Butler, I have been imbibing in the devil's drink and yes my loins still burn for you. Pray for me, dear man, that I may endure such hardships that may come and be delivered forthwith into your awaiting arms. With all my love and tenderness. Miss Kitten P.S. Sorry about drunk-as-fuck girl up there, she is just being silly. Can’t wait to fuck your brains out again! Love you -She Demon

10/26/20

Kitten,  You are so weird. I fucking love it and you. I’m so glad you are mine. Filming is so far so good. I barely have time to think, which is perfect. Also, I was eating a mango in the kitchen last night. You know how you cut the side off and score it then turn it inside out? Well, I decided just to eat it off the rind like that, instead of cut the chunks out. And all of a sudden it was like eating your dripping pussy. I am slightly ashamed to say that I dropped my pants right there and jerked off with the coconut oil. The juice was dripping down my chin and chest and onto my cock. Oh, My. God. It was the best one yet. I’ll have to do it for you (to you?) when you get back. Needless to say, a whole new world has opened up to me. I WILL be buying more mangoes. I may not be able to see one without getting aroused from here on out. I think I’ll go have the other half now…

Good luck doing bang! bang! construction things on the ice! Stay safe and warm. I’ll talk to you when you get back. Forever yours- Austin

10.27.20

Aus-  Oh, Mangoes… Damn. Now I fucking want mangoes. Freshies are like currency down here, I haven’t seen a mango though. Just so you know, that last letter was a bet between me and Tabs. We did karaoke that night and I got a little sloshed and started talking in accents. She didn’t think I would do it. Lol! I tried calling you a few min ago, but no answer. I’m leaving in an hour. I’ll email and try to call when I’m back! Oh and come to find out that Joe thought he was flirting with me the whole time, he likes me. Was about to pull my pigtails, I suspect. Boys are so weird. I confronted him and he confessed he was crushing on me pretty hard. I told him about you ( not by name) and that I wasn’t available (plus I would fucking break him). He seems to have backed off and will hopefully treat me like a person. So yay! Growth! Love you tons, Tally ho! Kitten

10/28/20

Darling,  It breaks my heart that I missed hearing your voice. I really needed it too. We filmed some gut wrenching stuff this week and I just needed you. I love you, I love you, I love you. Austin 124 +/-

 11.22.20

Sweet, sweet man, I love you too! I’m sorry you had a tough week and I wasn’t there for you. I promise after this, I will never be more than a text away from you again. I hope it’s gotten better! I’m going to try calling tonight when I get off work. Thank god I’m back though! We had a crazy, crazy time. We got caught in a freak storm at Amundsen-Scott. We were supposed to be there for like a day to get supplies and such. We ended up there for 5 days! But after that things cleared up, it was amazing. We set up 5 different camps. Everything from simple temporary polar escapes on wooden platforms to actual shelters that will have to stand up for the rest of the season if not longer. One was at a penguin rookery! They were adorable and came right up to us! Miss you love, hopefully we will talk soon! ~Kitten

11/23/20

Babe,  Those pictures with you and the penguins are unreal! I can't believe they just walked up to you. It blows my mind that anything can live down there. How are things with Joe? Did he actually change his behavior? I would say ‘do you need me to come down there?’ but I know you got this, my amazing, strong sexy beast of a woman. I hope I can pick up when you call next. Missing hearing your voice broke my heart. ~Aus 98+/- (Why is this taking so damn long! You should be in my arms.)

 12.14.20

Dear darling Austin, Thank god we got to talk last week, I was really worried about you. Digging into the pain about your mom… I just wish I was there to hold you tight, like she would’ve been. I know I didn’t know her, but from everything you’ve said, I know I would have adored her. (hugs, hugs and more hugs) I got your package yesterday! I opened it without thinking, thank god all the things in it were wrapped! Except for the mangoes… fuck baby. They are perfectly ripe right now, if a little frozen. I’m gonna go eat some mango pussy. Would you like that? watching me eat pussy….

Did you get my package yet? It might be a bit silly. But you can open it when you get it. :) We have been digging into this new building since I got back. The guys worked on all the steel pieces and I’m lead on the framing team. It’s definitely different from what I’ve been used to doing. But I’m finding that all my skills are actually helpful because I know the pieces that come next, so I don’t let the crew fuck things up for the electricians and plumbers and drywallers that will be coming behind us in the future. I miss you baby, I know we keep saying that to each other, so much that it’s like saying something over and over again and the shape of it feels odd in your mouth all of a sudden. But even though I have made great friends here and am in a routine that pulls me from day to day, it would be perfect if you were here with me. With you on my arm, no one would try to pull my pigtails! Love you with all my heart ~Kitten

12/25/20

Baby Doll,  Merry Christmas!! Babe, I did get your package, and I didn’t open in until this morning. Why would you say it’s silly? It’s amazing. You painted this? I am going to take it in and have it framed so I can hang it up. Wow. If you ever wanted to stop doing construction, you could be a professional artist. Tom and Rita have invited a bunch of us up to their place for dinner. I’m about to go get ready but just wanted to tell you that yes, I get it. Saying it gets old, but it doesn't mean we don’t feel it still. Yeah, mom would’ve adored you right back. I fucking miss you. I fucking love you. And holy fuck yes on watching you eat pussy, mango or otherwise.

66 days +/- (can we make time move faster?) ~Your own personal elf- Austin

12.25.20

Dear Austin,  Merry Christmas!! I loved your gifts, they are perfect for here! Lip balm and sunscreen and the warmest, silliest socks. That mini humidifier is sitting on my bedside table as we speak! The running gloves for under my big ones are going to be a game changer! Now I can do fiddly bits without my fingers getting cold! Although it’s a ridiculously balmy 25 degrees Celsius out there right now. I don’t even bring my red parka out right now! Today I joined the Antarctic Polar bear club. Yup I plunged into barely above freezing water in my underwear, no not the unicorn ones, I actually had some polar bear ones I brought just for this! I was nothing if not on theme! It was fucking cold. And exhilarating! But I’m not sure I want to do it again. Luckily we went right into the sauna to warm up! Love you ever so much, give Tom and Rita my love! ~Your Xmas Kitten

1/1/21

My sweet Kitten, Thank you for the phone call, oh my god I needed it. I’m feeling so worn out, even though we kinda had this week off and I’ve been just sleeping as much as I can and going to the beach with other cast members, it’s just not the same without my best girl next to me. (that’s you, btw) I wish I had you with me last night to kiss. I did end up kissing Olivia, but it was just a new years eve peck thing, plus it’s not like we’ve not kissed on set. Is that weird for you? I’ve never asked you about it. Love you so much, it hurts. I def need a kiss on my heart. 59 days +/- ~Yours, Austin

1.3.21

Austin, When I see you, you are gonna get all the kisses on every part of you. Real talk babe: where I’d like to be there to remind you what my kisses are like and reap the benefits if you get turned on, kissing on set doesn't bug me, that’s just part of acting. Didn’t Elvis kiss like all the girls in the audience? Super-spreader much? Ha! TBH, I pecked a few people too when we counted down to midnight. How do you feel about that? Wow, that looks super passive aggressive. I’m def not meaning it that way. Just wondering cuz we’ve never talked about it and I don’t think our games with Loki or ‘the guy from Brisbane’ count as talking about it! Now actually making out with someone like not for work (that’s a crazy sentence right there!)… that we’d def have to talk about. I mean… mostly because I would want to be a part of something hot like that. FOMO!!! On a different note, I sang in Icestock last night. It’s the annual McMurdo music festival. There were comedians and skits and mini plays and bands and a chili cook off! I sang a bunch of stuff with some guys, we had to rehearse on our off time but it was super fun! I had my buddy video it. I’m gonna put it on a USB stick and send it to you, just for fun! There is some other stuff on there too, just for you, including my polar plunge! God we needed a party too. The grind was getting to us all. Yeah we have 24 hours of daylight, but I never knew I’d miss the stars so much! We are about to head into Vessel Season, that means extra people in town, mostly Kiwi and US military, to help unload the massive supply ships. From what I understand we will be pulled to help. I love you baby, soon hunny, soon I miss YOUR kisses ~Kitten

 1/8/21

My darling love, Happy Elvis’ birthday! He would've been 86. We had a huge birthday cake on set today. I don’t really care about pecks like that, plus you are too French for me to get up in arms about that. I do feel the same way you do about making out. If you are gonna make out with someone, I want to be there too. If it’s a girl, I def want to be there. That would be hot. We filmed a kissing scene today between young Elvis and younger Priscilla. It really made me miss you so much. I definitely channeled our first kiss into the work. Remember, on the couch? This might be weird to say, but no one kisses me like you do. Love and miss you, 52 days +/- ~Aus

1/25/21

Kitten,  Honey, I have a confession. We were rehearsing one of the big shows where Elvis goes into the audience and kisses all the girls. I had to talk my own demon out of taking home an extra and fucking her silly. She looked just enough like you and she was staring at me all dreamy eyed when I was on stage. Then I had to kiss all these women in the audience and I was all worked up. I’m sorry babe, know that I didn’t do anything or even talk to her. But we talked about being honest with one another and I feel better with you knowing. No I’m not asking if I can do anything with her, it was just like a perfect storm to turn me on. Honestly I’ve been too exhausted and terrified to really feel horny lately, so it kinda took me by surprise. I’m so sorry if this makes you mad. Know I love you and I’m not gonna do anything to screw up what we have. ~Austin 35 days +/- (I can wait, I swear)

1.26.21

Babe,  Love you, not mad. Will respond more when I have time! ~Your best girl

1.31.21

Ok my love,  First of all, I’m sorry this took so long to reply to. It’s been so busy here I’ve not had time. Secondly, I’m not mad. You are human, despite your intrusive thoughts to the contrary. Being attracted to people is just a part of being human. It actually feels really good that you were comfy enough to tell me how you are feeling. Thank you for trusting me. I have this ideal thought in my head that I’d want to be cool with a sorta semi-permeable relationship. Like yeah, making out with a women with you would be hot… fuck I think making out with a man with you would blow my fucking mind. (would you be down for that? Kissing a guy?) But I know I’m not cool with either of us just fucking others at will, at least not when we are this far away. How could you reclaim me, or I you, when these miles exist between us? Share someone with you? Sure, but we need to actually sit down and talk about it face to face. When I'm back and we’ve talked and you and I have had our fill of one another, if that girl is game and we get along… I’m down to try it out, baby. If you are even interested in that. There are a few cute Airmen here, but my demon seems to be slumbering. Remember, the less I get the less I want it. It could also be the fucking 10-12 hour days we’ve been putting in! Which is VERY different from fucking 10-12 hours a day.  Remember our first 72 hours? Damn that was amazing. I love you baby, now and forever, Your lover- Kitten

2/4/21

Amazing woman of my dreams,  How are you so fucking cool, do you know how hard I had to work to get my other gf’s to be cool about kissing on set, let alone talk about sharing a person. This whole thing makes me love you even more. How do I feel about kissing a guy? I think it depends on the guy. But it doesn’t squick me out or anything. Honestly right now, if it meant getting to hold you in my arms, I’d do it and more in a heartbeat. And for the record, I don’t think I could ever ‘get my fill’ of you babe. I love you so much, 25 days +/- (is that fucking real, only 25 days???) Devoted to you- Austin

2.25.21

Babe,  Oh my god! I am so done helping unload and reload ships! Give me my fucking hammer and let me pound something! So I have some shitty news. Y’know how, on the phone we were talking about my departure date being end of February and being back with you by March 1st. Well, I got my departure date, it’s not until March 10th, and I can’t move it up. They even offered me a bonus to stay overwinter, but I declined. As cool as it’s been I need to get off the ice and into your arms. So I won't be back on the Gold Coast until March 12th at the earliest. I don’t know if I have to quarantine. I have to arrange for my stuff to be shipped to Greece in that time as well. You say you have to leave for London mid March. I’m freaking out that I might miss you. I’m gonna try to call tomorrow so we can talk about it. Fuck this sucks, Love you so much ~Kitten

[daisymae-12]

20 questions for fic writers

thanks for the tag @kiwiana-writes ❤️❤️❤️

I wasn't going to do this because a silly part of me was feeling some imposter syndrome - mostly because I haven't published a fic for RWRB yet, and that makes me feel like I'm not a 'real' fic writer (yes silly I know) 🙃 reminded myself that I have published stuff on ffn/ao3 before even though it was 6+ years ago 😅 ANYWAY filled this out so I can look back in a year or so and see what's changed 🌞

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

5 on my old AO3 account that I pretend doesn't exist 😂 1 on my new AO3 (though it's just a fic where I dump my drabbles)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

48k

3. What fandoms do you write for?

only RWRB now

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

lmao not going specifically name them because these days I like to pretend all my old fics don't exist but my fic with the most kudos (354) is a soulmate fic 😌

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Mostly! (I've tried to respond to all of them but I'm always fighting the procrastination monster)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? 7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Confession for these two questions - I've never actually finished writing a fic 💀 but! I don't think I could ever write an angsty ending - I need a happy ending 😂 I'm going to finish a fic one day, I swear (hilariously I think the first fic I'll ever finish will be the Vampire Henry fic at this rate LOL)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Thankfully no

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I've always planned to but I've never actually reached that part 💀 (see above confession about never having finished a fic lol)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Nope! Don't think it would be something I would do in the future either.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No and I don't think anyone would want to steal any of my half finished fics LOL

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Alex/Henry 🥺

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Ahh all the unfinished fics on my old AO3 account. Sometimes I still get comments on that soulmate fic asking if I'm ever going to update and while I'd love to finish it, I'm in a different headspace now from when I started it (10 years ago!)

16. What are your writing strengths?

Let me see if I've got an answer for this in a year because right now I genuinely don't know 😅

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Does being a slow writer count? Never finishing a fic? I'm working on it 😅 I have 6 (whoops) WIP's right now and there's two that are SO CLOSE to being done - I've just got to keep fighting my easily distracted brain 🥲 The day I finish writing a fic, I'll genuinely cry and probably buy myself a cake to celebrate 😂

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I'd like to? I do love reading fics that include Spanish dialogue. But my second language (Tagalog) is kinda useless for this? 😂 You'd think it'd be helpful cause it uses a lot of Spanish words/phrases, but it's too much of a different language overall to be of any use. (lol I'll read fics with Spanish dialogue and randomly be amused when I recognize a word that's the same in Tagalog - "I know that word!!!")

19. First fandom you wrote for?

HP (hate what jkr has done to taint it tho 🙃)

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Since I've never finished a fic, my fave WIP's right now are my Fake Dating/College AU fic and my Vampire Henry fic 🥰

no pressure tags as always (sorry if you've already done this and I missed it 😅) @heybuddy-drabbles @affectionatelyrs @littlemisskittentoes @cultofsappho @happiness-of-the-pursuit @read-and-write- @14carrotghoul @inexplicablymine @suseagull04 +anyone who wants to do this

[smolwritingchick]

Hi Val ! just a little note to thank you for creating Nini because it's super rare to have a black oc with a lot of updates so I hope you will continue like that🫶🏼I've been following you since before you deleted your account🫡 so when I saw that you had taken it back I was super happy ✨️ I just wanted to know if you knew when you were going to post or if you had to rewrite everything. big kisses to you and Nini 🫶🏼

Hi Angie!!! Omggg you are sooo sweet! Thank you thank you thank youuuu! I appreciate you sticking with me after all this time! I still get shooked when readers tell me they've been here before I deleted everything. I should also apologize to you and the old readers. I deleted everything abruptly with no explanation and I never realized just how happy my writing made so many people until I started getting messages on my personal Tumblr blog. And I'm like damn.

What made me start writing again and reposting my work was when I got a text message late last year from one of my elementary school mentors. I've kept in touch with her ever since and she had asked me if I was still writing. That question lit the fire again. I've been asked that question by so many people but when it came from her, something just sparked in me and I said to myself, "I fucking miss this shit. Let me start over,"

So, I set everything up. It's pretty cool to start back from the bottom and get rediscovered. I call myself a beautiful accident when people come across my stuff. I'm satisfied with reposting my work and being a smol part of the Black K-Pop community. I've become more of a casual fan of BTS and I don't follow too much K-Pop like I used to. I surely missed A LOT but it's exciting to watch and read over the things I missed in BTS from late 2020 to now.

I chose to finally write on Wattpad, too. I never used the site like that but I was like, I'm older now, let me at least try to write on it and I fell in love with it. I found the PDF of Bangtan Gal and then I began to reread and edit each chapter. Although lots of gifs and photos aren't there like before, I would rather have all the chapters I wrote for the story be here over some replaceable gifs and photos.

I rewrote a lot of things. Like the dialogue to make sure it would say "Jennie said" instead of "Says" and as I would reread certain chapters new ideas would come about and I would add to it which helped me get my groove back. A good example is the War of Hormone chapter when I thought of even more ideas of Jungkook helping Jennie get used to being in the presence of his stage persona when they perform together for the song. When he grabbed her back and asked her "Where you going?" when she started backing away was in the heat of the moment and I thought it was funny and pretty cute. And then him saying to himself that he hoped to be her boyfriend in his head at the end was another last minute idea when editing.

2+ years of writing the chapters and now I am back to where I stopped writing. It's surreal continuing the story. I hope you all bear with me for the slow updates. I missed how frequently I'd post the already prewritten/edited chapters lol. I was so excited to post this story again.

But anyway, I appreciate you all for taking the time to check out my creativity. I'll continue to work hard! :)

[crehador]

brother crab’s 2023 seasonals in review: summer

surprisingly easy to rank season for me, so i'll get right to it

anime of the season + runner-up for summer goes to...

undead girl murder farce and zom 100: zombie ni naru made ni shitai 100 no koto! nothing else even came close

i'm giving ugmf anime of the season because i personally vibed with it a lot (murder mysteries with a rakugo flair + arsene lupin trying to fuck the phantom of the opera in the background you really cannot go wrong) and also because zom100 has yet to release its last few episodes

zom100 is such a consistently solid show, though, that even without seeing the full cour i'm prepared to give it runner-up of the season. and it's honestly a strong contender for anime of the year. the first episode especially... i would rank it even higher than the first ep of oshi no ko tbh

lots of sequels this season as well!

horimiya, bleach, jjk, and bsd. some new snv came out this season as well but since i binged all that at once it doesn't really feel like a sequel to me

anyway easily sequel of the season goes to bleach, largely because of nostalgia won't deny that but also because it's just that fucking good

horimiya however was also an immense delight! gonna miss these wacky kids :')

quickfire thoughts on everything else:

watashi no shiawase na kekkon is the shoujo of the year, there's been a lot of cute stuff lately but nothing comes close to watakon

vending machine isekai was fine and occasionally funny, but kinda shocked it got a sequel announced already. worldbuilding was definitely the most interesting part and i hope we see more of it in s2

dekiru n eko way kyou mo yuuutsu was absolutely perfect, very fun and cute and soothing

okashi na tensei had a promising premise which it failed to lean into, there was little to no BAKING in this BAKING anime jfc

lv1 maou to one room yuusha seemed like your run of the mill shitty ecchi but actually it's NONBINARY OLD MAN YAOI?! and was kinda good. dumb, but fun

ai no idenshi was... well it was episodic which i like, generally, but it really. was not consistent. some good pieces, some not so good. some interesting, some not so interesting. main failing is it really did not imo balance its 'main' plot with its mini-stories well at all

ayaka was fun! it doesn't really hold a candle to k project like at all but at least it was not as bad as praeter lmao

synduality noir (first cour) was alright. nothing to write home about but a decent enough mecha. as far as anime that are game ads go... i'd say it's okay. a little more interesting than takt op to me, though not as visually stunning. and not as compelling as god eater

hyakushou kizoku was a tv short adapting arakawa hiromu's autobiographical farming manga and it was such a delight lol, especially fun if you're a fan of fma or silver spoon. explains so much about ed tbh

hi no tori: eden no sora was a 4-ep ona that i quite liked overall... ending was just so-so to me i guess

dark gathering isn't quite over still but it's fine as a horror that's heavy on the gore (gorror? is that a thing) actually. probably better than fine, it's just not my genre. some of the stories are definitely more gripping than others, but yeah solid horror overall and really good cast (yandere hanakana what could be better)

helck is also still going but has been really solid, way more enjoyable than i'd imagined. it has an 80s feel to it that i love

and last but certainly not least shuumatsu no valkyrie ii part 2 gives us GYARU FUCKBOI BUDDHA once again. what could be better lmao

MOVING ON

op of the season goes to zom100's song of the dead by kana-boon! the song itself is a banger and the way the op changes from episode to episode makes it even better

HOWEVER this was not an easy choice lol bleach and even jjk both came in with strong contenders as well

ed of the season goes to heclk's statice by saji! it just. ough. right in the feels

this was not a very blorbo or ship heavy season for me but i have to just repeat ARSENE LUPIN. AND THE PHANTOM. OF THE OPERA. one day i will circle back to this lol

[maryellencarter]

So I've been tussling with how to write this post for some time now.

Uh, the background good news first? I appear to have worked almost an entire pay period and also March is a three paycheck month, so I'm making some very solid progress on getting caught up on my bills, and it seems like this might even continue. I know I tend to be more optimistic than is usually warranted, but 70 hours in my time clock when working all my scheduled hours would put me at 72 is pretty damn impressive, especially compared to how I've been doing for a really long time.

So then I was poking around and trying to figure out what one even does with disposable income. I've been going to a knitting group at a local yarn shop recently (I forget if I mentioned here but a friend was able to get me some KN95 masks and some helpful information about transmission rates so I can socialize safely again! This is probably a big factor in me being less depressed and more worky again also), but I don't really enjoy owning yarn I don't have A Plan for, so right now I've got a cable sweater for Leia, a fancy silk lace scarf, a puffy hexagon blanket, and a crochet baby blanket going, and I just really don't want any more yarn until I finish with one or two of these projects.

Recently, though, as y'all have probably seen, there was an announcement going around about the American Girl doll brand announcing a pair of 1999-themed Historical Character dolls. Because Tumblr is the "we are getting old" website at this point, there were Noises. (They have a Pizza Hut "Book-It" reading program playset. I have never been smacked in the face with nostalgia so hard in my entire life.)

As some of y'all may also remember, I used to have a whole collection of American Girl dolls and furniture and whatnot, because I was trying to do the whole "believe you can be safe and stable now and have the things you were never allowed to have as a kid" thing with a reasonable part of the money I'd inherited from my then recently deceased grandmother (a lovely human being, and by extreme genetic good luck the relative I take after physically, so that I don't have to deal with the whole "growing up to look exactly like my abuser" thing that some people have to suffer through). Then the 2016 election happened, I had a horrible depressive spiral, was unable to work, sold 90% of my collection to pay the rent, eventually became homeless anyway, and lost the other 10% by trusting the wrong person to keep my stuff safe when I had no other options.

ANYWAY! Not the point. The point is that I started poking my nose back into the American Girl website, and then the wiki in order to try to figure out what all I'd missed, and I'm kind of being like "hey, I could hypothetically afford some of this stuff again now".

(I personally find it hilarious that the brand is trying to walk a line between "Addressing trans and nonbinary identities in our helpful book on puberty for preteens? Sure, we'll do that, we're progressive! Also did you say Harry Potter collaboration? That's a license to basically print money from customers who are nostalgic for the same era we were most popular in, let's do this", which is exactly the kind of seesawing I expect from Disney -- who owns American Girl via Mattel.)

So *anyway*, and this is the part of this post I'm really struggling with: I also used to be heavily involved in the part of the American Girl adult collectors fandom that describes itself as "queer-friendly and socially conscious". That part of the fandom runs the wiki (which is an extremely useful and well-constructed resource). I don't know who-all from those days may still follow me on Tumblr, and I'm actually not looking to cause drama, just sort of thinking out loud as I so often do on the tunglrs, but after five years away from the fandom and having poked my nose back in, I'm running into a royal shitton of memories (and a little new information) that's making me go "Holy fuck, this place was *incredibly* toxic, no wonder I got utterly burned out on trying to interact with the dolls and items the way they demanded everybody should. No wonder I still feel like I'm walking on eggshells to even say anything or post a picture related to this fandom."

So. Let's be real. I'm saying "the way they demanded". It's one person, backed up by other mods who don't create their own separate demands. This particular section of the fandom is ruled with an iron fist by one self-described Angry Black Woman who... the very kindest way I can find to describe it is, she's a walking talking demonstration of how you cannot create a single safe space that's safe for everyone. I made a post several years ago that went a little bit viral, where I pointed out that being uncomfortable with a very verbally aggressive black authority figure can actually be because of the "very verbally aggressive authority figure" part, say if you're a survivor of emotional abuse *koff koff*, and doesn't have to mean you're "uncomfortable with black anger" Because You're Racist. That post was a direct reaction to multiple instances of seeing this person tell people "you're pushing back against me being verbally abusive, that's a racist action on your part".

That's the kindest, most nonconfrontational way I can come up with to talk about the situation. Less tactfully, after going to look over the forum rules for this subsection of the fandom -- hoping to realize I'd just been an extremely sensitive tortellini at the time and they weren't that bad, because I know I was an extremely sensitive tortellini in other matters -- in actual fact, I've been reminded very loudly that these rules are a 13k essay on topics such as You Must Be Okay With Verbal/Emotional Abuse If It's Directed At You By People Of Color, All Cultures Of Color Are Closed Cultures Now (So Don't You Dare Put This Black Doll's Clothes On Any Other Doll), and the real kicker for me, Only Selected Queer Identities Are Suitable For Public Discussion (subsection We're Redefining Queerness To Exclude Polyamory, new since I was last here, with sub-subsection Oops We Didn't Mean To Exclude Asexuals Only Those Icky Cishets, and fun guessing game Are We Excluding Aromantics Or Did We Just Forget They Exist, Ask And See If You Get Banned).

I... genuinely didn't mean to go on that long. But this is exactly why I'm making this post. Because I have a *lot* of trauma from trying to figure out what's actually racist or offensive and what's not, while being in a community where anything the main mod doesn't like can suddenly be declared an offense against social justice, and if you ever step on her toes, you're likely to be relegated to the ranks of the damned (aka the white Christian mommybloggers who own more than six white dolls or less than 50% dolls of color). And as probably all of you know, I do a lot of thinking out loud about trauma. Which is a PROBLEM, because this person definitely still follows me here (I don't know who else from the fandom does), and Tumblr blocks don't keep people from seeing your posts, only interacting with them.

So. Uh. There's probably going to be... more of this. I'm making this post now because I'm almost done sewing a doll skirt, I want to show it off here, and I'm also having a really nasty anxiety attack over how this person is definitely going to metaphorically rip it to shreds in the dedicated forum thread for mocking homemade doll clothes (mostly from Etsy) that don't live up to her exacting standards of Historically Accurate Doll Costuming. (The skirt is gathered instead of using 1800s-style "cartridge pleats"! The horror!)

Yeah. So. Um. I guess... if you follow me from when I was last in AG doll fandom, here's where I stand, at least right now. I'm not going to name any names, but you likely know who I'm talking about. I'm not going to go after anybody or cause trouble on their blog, but I'm not going to pull any punches when I'm talking about the ways they and their policies have made me feel unsafe in the fandom. And I'm not going to follow their byzantine rules based on the concept that a single doll can only have one ethnicity and one backstory. A doll, in its essence, is a shapeshifter the way a character actor is a shapeshifter, and not all of us want to create 50+ fixed individual characters that can't wear each other's clothes.

If you can't live with any of that, feel free to go commiserate with each other. I'm not planning to go back to the forum, so don't worry that I'll see anything you say there. (I'm not even planning to publish the rules publicly, since they're not viewable when logged out, although they are a trip and a half to read without the context of the dramas that shaped them.)

If you're scared what will happen to your standing in the fandom if you like my posts or keep following me, though... maybe that's a place to start thinking.

[juulz]

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN THE SUN HOMIE.

You drew the lads listening to In This Moment on a walkman? The Official Misfits AU playlist includes Johnny Hobo and the Freight Trains? Various songs I personally associated with your Silvers? You even took the time to share my playlist with other people???

I am touched. Thank you!

I've added your playlist to my library so I can start diving in and listening to the songs I don't recognize. I'm hella excited, I've been needing new music and I . Since you liked Johnny Hobo let me tell you about a band that I wanted to add but couldn't find on Spotify: Blackbird Raum. "Cities" is probably my favorite song by them. Also, on spotify, but I couldn't think of a song that would fit the playlist right off the top of my head, is the band Mischief Brew. OOH and you may like Dangerkids since they took inspiration from Linkin Park.

I'm glad you liked Escape the Fate, I'm surprised you never heard of them given they were rather popular in the late 2000's into roughly the 2010's. Basically the tail-end of the Scene kids era. Another related band to look into is Falling in Reverse. Long story short, EtF's original vocalist, Ronnie Radke got kicked out of the band when he went to jail. He was replaced by Craig Mabbitt who had recently been kicked out of Blessthefall. When Ronnie got out, and didn't get his spot back in EtF, he created Falling in Reverse. There's beef there, but I'm here for music, not drama.

My Darkest Days never got big and it's a fucking crime. While they were founded in 2005, they didn't gain traction until they signed on to Chad Kroeger's record label and started opening for Nickelback between 2010 and 2012. They disbanded when their vocalist Matt Walst, brother of Three Days Grace's bassist Brad Walst, took Adam Gontier's position in 2012-2013.

(ﾉ´ з `)ノ♡

Heh, “Official” makes it sound so OFFICIAL, these are just my headcanons after all. Whore is def a Gold song to me.

There isn’t much as of now, but I’ll keep adding onto it.

Again, thanks for the recs! Blackbird Raum is a bit too folksy for my taste, but I’ll be checking out more of Mischief Brew and Dangerkids. Not sure how I’ve missed Escape the Fate either tbh, but could’ve just been the timing. Around 2008 I moved from emo/alternative onto punk and ska, so I quit following the new releases. Come to think of it, I haven't listened to a single Three Days Grace album since One-X (2006), despite really liking the band. Time to uh… catch up.

Upd as I got done writing this: actually that’s not true, just found a song from their 2015 album in the AWSB playlist, but got no memory of anything else. Guess 2006 is just the best.

Anyways, Escape the Fate and Falling in Reverse must’ve fallen through the cracks somewhere around there at the end of the decade, as well as My Darkest Days. Happy to have discovered them now!

There’s a bunch of stuff that’s not on spotify, namely more obscure/regional bands. It’s a shame when they’re not even on youtube. There was this shitty punk band called Big Dildos from my hometown - the lyrics were dumb, the sound was shit, but the shows were always a blast. Now I can find them pretty much nowhere, but my hard drive. Same old, same old everywhere. 

Out of the bands that didn’t make it into the playlist but I like the sound of I'd say - Chevelle, Coheed and Cambria. Altho the latter can get too concept-album’y to go into any playlist other than their own.

I also discovered this sweet channel dedicated to the UK82 era recently. Some of those are on Spotify, but some remain solely as demos. Digging it immensely.

That Walkman is 100% stolen.

[coral-reef-in-command]

So I'm writing another campaign

This time its pirate themed and definitely not a rip-off of an anime I've never watched

If you're one of my players, don't read this because this will just be the nonsensical ramblings of a mad DM going insane over trying to shove random ideas together with a pinch of satire

Please ignore any spelling errors and enjoy the show

So there was this pirate dude

He old, he ded, and he had treasure. Pirates like treasure, right? Pirate players want treasure, right? Boom, player motivation.

But theres this other* pirate

The astrict gotcha, right? I'll explain in the "spoilers" section I guess lmao

So this dude isn't any normal pirate. He's a Warforged. And he somehow got fused to the mast of his ship. And is missing his arms and legs. And a lot of his memory. Bro even got wood where metal should be. His name is Stan (or Stanly or Stanford or S.T.A.N.). Stan want pirate treasure.

Player stuff

So theres a thingy I wanna put within each of my players' backstories: they each have the fraction of a magical unidentifiable crystal in their possession. It somehow got into their possession (to the players digression), and always somehow gets back into their possession.

They also somehow have a reason to join a random Pirate Captain that's looking for a crew. They could've heard from posters, job listings in taverns, word of mouth, etc. Said pirate captain is Stan.

I'd like for the players to start at level 2 or 3, tbd. I like the idea of them having some experience, and knowing enough of their craft to be comfortable exploring and adventuring.

ZA WARUDO

Sorry, I had to. Anyways, I used a free map making program to make a possibly prototype map for this world, yall should lmk if I should post it.

The known world is spots of land encompassed by water, encompassed by a long circular strip of land called "Giant's Path". No one goes past it, due to rumors and myths. Only few are brave to go past the Giant's path, and there are no existing maps or documentation of what lies past.

Spoilers and BBEG stuff

I hope no one reading this will eventually be a player, because this shit is wild and I'd rather see your reaction at the table.

So predictably, Stan is the old dead pirate. Do you wanna know how he ended up like that?

Its wild.

Are you sure you wanna know?

Ok, but I warned you, this is some of the weirdest writing I've done.

Death. Literally Death.

You ever see the new Puss in Boots movie? The one where he wants that wishing star? Yeah, that. Death gets pissed at virtually imortal mortal, so Death wants to punish said mortal.

Death succeeded in this campaign, hiding away Stan's treasure, and binding him to his ship. The idea is that Stan was an untrustworthy and arrogant pirate who would always betray anyone who trusted him, so Death split up his Battery Gem thingy between random people to force Stan to work with people. Death believes Stan can't work with others, so he even made it a little easier by making the gem the key to wherever the treasure is held.

I'm still in the process of writing this, and I'd love tips and ideas! I love writing campaigns, and I love running them more, especially if my players enjoy them. I want to make this as enjoyable as possible, so let me know if I should change anything!

▪︎this is planned for newer players, and maybe some players with a bit of experience

EDIT: I've realized that I made a post about an earlier draft of this campaign, so... go check that out if you wanna lmao

[starry-nocturne]

★ announcements

SOOO! Guess who is back as full blown graduated adult with a bachelor's degree under her belt ✌ And a serious lack of sleep. And pretty darn sick. Oops.

Not to get nostalgic here but this blog has been around since 2017, back when I was in highschool, so being able to say I've survived uni is... kind of a great feat on its own? I recently realized that Ryo has been around for more than 8 years and wow. Isn't that a big number.

Anyways! Now that I have more time I'll slowly go back to doing stuff in here. Hopefully. I really don't want to say anything like "this time I'm definitely doing this thing" because people who have known me for a bit know my motivation is prone to fluctuate a lot </3

So, if I manage to find the motivation and the missing energy, I'd like to:

Work on sprites. Pretty sure I'll fix the last ones I showed here since they're only missing expressions. Not a quality I'm that convinced with but I want to use some art that's my own >< I'm already working on new ones tho,, I also want to work on more art that's not only 5 minute doodles but that will probably take a bit longer...

Writing of some kind. I mean yeah. I've been beating around the bush for years now but even if it's just drabbles and short fics I want to start putting out all my ideas and concepts. Especially lore decisions I've taken that are very relevant to the story and I,, haven't mentioned. Also a route. Two routes, one per blog (at least). I would also like to work on a couple of AUs that been eating my mind for years now <3

More original characters stuff. Who close friends and/or old followers might know about because I literally cannot shut up about all the OCs I have for this series but at least making some sort of profiles so people don't go ??? when I mention a million new names. I think that'd be great

More Mizuki. Yes this is an actual point in here because she needs more attention and I love her dearly. No one told me handling two blogs would be so complicated oof

Update rules, organization etc. Make the blog(s) a bit more user friendly, cohesive and fix the masterlists ^^

But most of all I want to interact with people here ;; I need to think about how to go about it because I have severe social anxiety and reaching out to people is. Awfully hard TT I'll probably make a post in the future so mutuals who are interested feel free to keep an eye out? 🙏 My DMs are always open too!

Anyways, thank you for supporting this messy blog for so long >< <3