#anyway i was like oh i wasnt planning on going to the doctor im just sick to my stomach but i will try :)

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

once again thinking about a version of the story where 13 lands in sheffield three years earlier when ryan and yaz are still sixteen and a whole lot angrier

13 turning out a bit more immature bc she spends her first twenty-four hours after regenerating with these reactive and kinda fucked up kids. ryan dealing with grace and graham recently getting married or getting ready to get married. probably feeling abandoned by his grandmother after his mother and father. feeling alone with his grief. maybe kinda just has tibo to confide in. yaz meanwhile is in hell getting bullied and either recently got driven home from a running away attempt and is now dealing with the familial aftermath of that, or is planning the running away. maybe kiiiiiiinda just has sonya to confide in but probably not really. probably doesnt confide in anyone

13, still malleable and fluid, running into these messed up teenagers who reflect all her own lonely angry betrayed abandoned feelings back to her, shaping herself in response to them. they dont trust her at all to start with, but i think she'd win yaz over in a similar way she does in canon, presenting herself as an authority who listens and understands. perhaps slightly more the understanding than authority part at this point in yaz's life. maybe she lands in front of yaz actually in the hills before anita can get there. yaz is like "where the fuck did you come from" and shes like "um the troposphere i think" and yaz is like "how are you not dead" and shes like "oh i was! but then i decided maybe i shouldnt be. so. now im here :) with you!" and that kinda strikes a chord with yaz. and then the doctor's like "do you happen to have a sandwich in that backpack im starving"

then aliens happen and once they run into ryan, yaz is already won over and she and ryan recognise each other and she convinces him that, like, no shes not nuts, theres definitely aliens shes seen them

11x1 would go entirely differently obviously. maybe grace wouldnt die and graham wouldnt travel. ryan maybe decides to travel a little bit out of spite and home doesnt really feel like home, and yaz isnt having fun at home or at school either and she was running away anyway so this is not a hard decision

the emotional instability and bad decision counter of a team tardis thats just 16-year-old yaz and ryan and 13 is kind of amazing to imagine. it'd be so volatile but they'd love each other so much i think they'd be the best friends bc instead of starting off closing herself off from grief, 13 would start off having her justified and irrational anger sort of validated and coaxed out i think by yaz's and ryan's. in the tardis between the three of them there would be a place to express "nobody cares about me" whether thats true isnt the point, i think theyre all feeling it a little bit. "everyone just moved on like mum didnt matter/'tell an adult' like what are they gonna do?/okay it wasnt all their faults but all my friends are dead" you know? i think they'd be heard with each other and i think there'd be space for the injustice of it all and especially as the doctor is like a children's advocate most of all, she would take ryan and yaz seriously in a way i think they wouldnt have been by any other adult in their lives at that point. and in return they, just by being there as they are, would make room for the hurt child that 13 is and will turn out to be

and i dont have details for this but i think it would be really nice if the way 13 listens and takes seriously yaz and ryan in the first season (not like consciously or deliberately or anything, shes not trying to Do anything, this is just who the doctor is) would be mirrored in the second and/or the third when they have calmed down a bit, dealt with some of their issues at home, talked to some family members, become a little less depressed and angry etc, and they return the way she treated them when she finds out abt the timeless child and tecteun. she took their anger seriously and she took them seriously when they said "this isnt fair" and in return they can take her anger seriously, probably are angry on her behalf, and they can stop her from overcorrecting from like being 10 by pointing out to her that this isnt fair and shes allowed to be angry abt it

and when yaz inevitably gets a crush i think it shows up as a kind of out of character/seemingly regressive prickliness and snappiness toward the doctor getting more intense over the course of s12 that ryan and the doctor first are puzzled by bc like sure in the first half of s11 maybe they were all a bit snappish with each other but theyve been friends for like a year now whats this about all of a sudden? and yaz is like Nothing!!!! it's nothing!!! piss of!!! bc shes having feelings she doesnt know what to do with or how to interpret so theyre just manifesting as Angery. that same need to prove herself + probably worry abt the doctor as in canon except a lot more combative and a lot less inhibited. shes probably picking fights abt everything the doctor tells her to do. trying to provoke the doctor into actually getting mad and yelling at her or, god forbid, grabbing her, shoving her, using her hands bc yaz wont listen to words. sometimes youre 17 and horny and you dont understand you want one of your two friends in the world to kiss you bc it hasnt occurred to you that girls kissing girls is a thing that can happen. ryan figures it out first

in this version ryan probably stays until the end too - or the same as in revolution happens and yaz feels betrayed that he'd give up on the doctor so easily and feels alone in the entire world again - graham and dan wouldnt come into the picture. ryan's and yaz's family would come into the picture a little more actively. theres a lot of plot to figure out that i cant and it would be a very different era in many ways but i think it would be nice

[firelord-frowny]

tw for discussion of a news story involving infant death in a particularly gruesome manner/circumstance???

im reading about that HORRIFYING story from a few months ago where a doctor accidentally fucking decapitated a baby as they were trying to deliver it???? like, apparently there were ~complications~ and the baby was stuck and so the doc was trying to pull it out by the head and its fuckin neck broke??? and then somehow during the subsequent emergency c section, the head came OFF???

literallyyyy i feel like if i were that doctor i would have had to just immediately kill myself. like obviously the parents are the ones going through the absolute most grief and shock and horror, but i feel like the doctor can't be too far behind in that omg! like even if she was criminally negligent or even just morally negligent in some way, OBVIOUSLY she did not wake up that day planning to fucking rip a newborn baby's head off.

but anyway, the family is taking legal action, obviously, as they absolutely should do.

but what kinda makes me go ????? is that one of the things they're mad about is the manner in which the hospital seems to have tried to hide the fact that the baby's head came off?? like, they say the hospital staff tightly wrapped the baby in blankets and propped the head up on the body to make it look like it was all intact, and then they let the parents see the baby through a window or something, essentially ~defrauding~ the parents into thinking the baby wasn't decapitated???

and im like!

well damn, what did you EXPECT them to do??? like did you really want one nurse to come and bring you the head, and then another nurse to come and bring you the body??? were they supposed to be like "ok here you go ma'am, your dead baby, and your dead baby's head." what the fuck!!! like idk man, i feel like something needs to be said for the fact that literally everyone involved was probably horrifyingly traumatized. i mean obviouslyyyy i don't know nothin bout nothin (especially not about birthin no babies) but my gut reaction is that trying to make it look like the baby wasn't decapitated was the only rational thing to do!

like goshhhhhhh if i had a baby that died during labor and somehow became decapitated, the LAST thing i would want would be to actually SEE that it was decapitated oh my god! I 100% would want the doctor/nurses/etc to go out of their way to create the illusion that my child wasnt fucking fatally dismembered. no parent deserves to see their child in multiple pieces oh my god! oh my godddd!!!!

and idk if i would ever WANT to know the true manner of death omg. like. babies unfortunately die all the time during labor complications. just say the doctor was negligent and call it a day. like. the only thing that could possibly be worse than having your baby die in labor is to have your baby die in labor because the doctor pulled its fucking head off! :(

but anyway. i feel like there was literally no Right Way to handle that situation because no matter what you do, it's horrifying. like, whether the hospital let them see the detached head or not... its still detached D: I doubt there could have been anything more or less they could have done that would have made it less traumatizing. like, i'm sure it was distressing to not be allowed to hold your dead baby and not understand why you weren't being allowed to hold it. But like... holding your dead baby and having its head roll off onto the floor would have been traumatizing, too! or having a nurse carefully place your dead baby in your arms while cautioning you "careful, don't let the head fall off" would have been traumatizing!

there's no ending to this story that could ever be anything but the highest degree of horrifying.

[tears-of-boredom]

oh my god this fucking tumblr dash i frogort aobut it already and my figner are fucking freezing so i cant tyoe for shit

anyways so i was browsing like you know one of those websites that streams a bunch of shit for free, and i saw a show called BEEF, just BEEF, it wasnt an acronym or anything. so fo course i had to see what was up duh?? so i finished the first episode. and i fucking love it. i mean the whole time i was lowkey chanting "kill someones kill someone kill someone" but you know how good media does that to you right. but yeah so when the episode finished, i noticed that my heart was beating really fast, like as if id drunk coffee. like lowkey i wouldnt have been surprised if i had passed out onto my desk. but so if my bodys reaction to the show is anything, i enjoyed it. im going to watch the next episode when i either A: feel like i can handle my pulse rising like that again without freaking out or B: i wanna get an adrenaline rush because im really depressed and need to feel something. but yeah this is totally just like that time i watches thor ragnarok, and it took like multiple weeks for me to get through it because i just couldnt handle tom hiddleston. but thsi time i refuse to believe that its any of the actors. i am trying to convince myself that im not that shallow. tbh i just loved the last scene where uhh,,, hold on whats her name okay its Amy. so i loved that scene where she got to fuel all her anger into running after Danny and yelling shit at him. like i know its not for a good reason but i feel like my girl really needed just some way to let some steam out. anyways yeah i am going to go read something that i give zero shits about now because my body is still on alert from that. it feels like im planning on having a voluntary social interaction with someone, which i am not. aka i am anxious as fuck but in this way where i kinda dont want to be, but my body just reacts so strongly that i really cant fight it. ya know social anxiety. except sometimes its triggered by just a good tv series.

honestly its probably just that im excited, because that episode was good,, but because this jittery and kind of stressed feeling isnt really like, often present in my life in a positive way, i just can't tell excitement apart from anxiousness. ya know. normal " i have awful social anxiety" things. or more like "i am severely mentally ill and am not getting the treatment i need" kind of things. pick one. or both. tbh the adults suggested uhh like occupational therapy, and i got a list of therapists from my doctor. but my trust in any kind of help the adults try to give me is so fucking deteriorated that i cant imagine it ever actually helpoing me. and if i told that to an adult i know they would say some shit like " well i f you go in all negative of course its notgonna work!! you gotta want to heal for it to work" and oh my god im drviing myself into abreakdown here so haha i wish that the adults would fucking understand that i fucking have severe anxietyy and trust issues. and that not believing a form of therapy is going to help me, isnt the same thing as not wanting to be helped. do you fucking know how badly i jsut want someone to finally give me some type of actual support or aid or help oh my god. okay my fingers are getting really aggressive on the keyboard. im gonna go fr now. i fucking hate adults. and im tired. and i have trust issues. and i ahve anxiety. and while my medication does help me to go about my day a bit easier, because i dont find myself digging mental holes for myself. it doesnt help for shit when im in a situation that in and of itself is anxiety inducing for me. and i dont fucking like how i cant tell the difference in my mood between the lighter and stronger dose. because i cant fucking say that its not heloing. because i dont know that. oh my god i am so horrible at stopping myself from venting. going now. okay. bye.

[dashiellqvverty]

anyway i have been feeling like garbage all day bc i vowed yesterday that i would take a mental health (+ period cramps) day after i cried during my shift yesterday and anyway i called when i woke up and the fucking new manager picked up and was like “okay well just bring a doctors note to your next shift :)” and like this is the second time i’ve called out ever since i started the job at the end of may which is maybe still too often but like he doesnt know me and my other managers LIKE me lmao like i am a person who is terrified of skipping things its not something i DO unless i need to. and i Needed this i know i did. did i say i was sick to my stomach? yes. am i having a bad stomach time for real today? also yes. am i going to GO TO THE DOCTOR FOR THAT? no. is it literally policy to stay home if we are throwing up or have diarrhea? yes. (did i have a job interview this morning and want to go home and rest? also yes.)

anyway it absolutely fucking ruined my mental health day so thats fucking karma i guess on top of the guilt i already had over screwing my coworkers over. also i spent all afternoon running errands for my mom who has covid so like. idk. would be great if the birth control im on to make my period symptoms less bad actually Did That.

[reidsnose]

love letters

overview: spencer has a wonderful idea after finding out that reader had never gone to her senior prom

genre: fluff fluff fluff

a/n: i mixed two ideas that have been sitting in my notes app for this lol but i think its sweet!! i wrote it a little rushed and definitely not bc im not getting a prom this year due to miss rona👀 LMAO but as always please lmk what yall think ab it :)

masterlist

-

the idea had fully occupied his thoughts the second after the words left your mouth.

it was "the buttcrack of dawn" as you had called it, though spirits were high on the late jet ride home. it was a rare but much needed positive end to the case, and everyone was happily chatting with each other. since the case was involving high schoolers, the subject fell on prom. everyone went around sharing their prom stories one by one, recalling awful dresses and questionable dates til the questions turned to spencer.

"what ab you, pretty boy, what was your prom like?" morgan asked, still smiling widely from recalling his own.

you watched spencer shift uncomfortably for a second.

"i uh..i never went to prom." he stammered, a tight lipped smile on his face.

"no! you just dont wanna tell us!" prentiss cried, throwing her hands in the air.

"i graduated high school when i was 12! why would i have gone to prom?" he reasoned.

"you had to have gone when you were older or something! everyone has!" jj countered.

"thats not true, i never went to prom either," you defended, subconsciously inching closer to spencer.

before anyone could even ask you to explain why, spencer got the idea. he mentally left the conversation after you gave your answer. he spent the whole rest of the ride home and the next couple of weeks brain storming and planning.

and casually after work one day, as he was walking you to your car, he asked you if you wanted to hang out with him that weekend; at his house.

you and Spencer had hung out before, but mostly at your house or at coffee shops; he didn't invite people over very often.

of course you agreed but you grew confused when he told you to dress fancy.

you raced home afterwards to raid your closet, looking for any fancy dresses you may have stuffed in there.

spencer spent the whole day preparing his apartment. he put up streamers and balloons. he made a playlist of all your favorite songs. and then he rushed to get his clothes from the cleaners.

and when you knocked at his door the breath that left your lungs struggled to come back after he opened the door.

he stood in a gorgeous suit, different than he had ever worn to work. he rubbed the back of his neck and gestured to the living room, revealing the adorable (albeit poorly made but its the thought that counts) decorations.

"um.. welcome to prom," he said, turning back to you, revealing a blushy smile.

he tried not to stare too much at you, but it was difficult. your eyes sparkled as you stepped inside and looked around. and the dress you were wearing fit you so gorgeously he truly couldnt take his eyes off of you.

"spencer, i..." you trailed off, enchanted by what he had done.

"sorry if it looks bad. or if you think its weird that i did this. i just thought cause neither of us went to prom maybe you wanted to have a little one with me? yeah now that i say it out loud maybe you hate it im sorr-" he rambled behind you.

you turned quickly to him as he got lost in his words, eyes glued to the floor. cutting him off by wrapping your arms around his neck and hugging him as tight as you could. you could feel the tension leave his body as he melted into the embrace, returning it gladly. he doesn't like to be touched by anyone really, except for you.

"i love it. thank you," you whispered, giving him one last squeeze before letting go.

he has a spread of snacks lying out on the coffee table which he has mooved to the corner of the room to make space for a makeshift dancefloor.

he turns on the music and you two start talking and dancing and laughing. two fools with four left feet completely and obliviously in love. well, oblivious the the other anyway.

a slower song came on, an old one that you had wanted to slow dance to ever since you were a little girl. and somehow naturally you two came together, his hand dropped to your waist, the other delicately cradling your own. your other hand found its way up to his shoulder, feeling as though a magnet was pulling you two closer. and closer.

he looked absolutely stunning. the soft lights he had strung around the apartment sparkled like stars in his eyes; its was...dizzying, in the most incredible way.

unbeknownst to you, as you stared at the stars in his eyes he was looking at his whole world that he had been somehow lucky enough to hold in his arms.

he held his arm out, allowing you to spin and when he pulled you back both of your arms ended up wrapped around his neck, and his around your waist. you were less dancing now and more...hugging. with your head pressed to his chest, he hoped with all his might that you wouldn't be able to hear his hammering heart. you most definitely could, but it was calming to know he was as nervous as you were. you smiled, listening more to his heart than the music he had played for you.

you were both sure that you could burst from pure bliss. the song ended a little too quickly for either of your liking and reluctantly you let go of each other. and suddenly Spencer was hit with the realization that he forgot something.

"oh my gosh," his eyes widened as he looked around the room.

"what?" you asked, mirroring him and looking as well.

"i can't remember where i left your corsage! i was gonna give it to you at the door but i forgot!" he exclaimed, running around the room checking shelves.

you smiled to yourself. he got you a corsage!

"ill help you look" you decided.

"please do," he chuckled.

"i thought you had an eidetic memory, shouldn't you know where you left it?" you joked, shooting him a smug smile.

"y/n, my brain was all jumbled to day and it wasn't just from being around you," he realized what he had said and quickly turned back to the shelf he was looking at, "could you check in my room please?"

his heart was racing at his own stupidity; how could he just say that so nonchalantly? he had been planning to tell you that he liked you for the longest time he cant afford slipping up and having it be anything less than perfect.

you slipped into his room, your cheeks warm from the idea that you make his big brain all jumbled. he probably didn't mean it like that, you were just looking too much into it.

you sighed as you crouched to look under his bed for it. you found a small wooden box that you slid out from underneath. it had your name on it.

is it normal to keep a corsage in a wooden box? you wouldn't know, you never went to prom.

you shrugged your shoulders, "i found it spence!"

with out thinking you opened the box, except instead of a band of flowers you were greeted with letters, all addressed to you. there were annotations written in the margins with purple ink. you furrowed your eyebrows as you scanned the various letters.

dear y/n,

today you complimented my glasses and my heart skipped a beat. thats dumb spencer dont start like that

dear y/n,

im in love with you. too forward

dear y/n,

you make life worth living. shes gonna think youre a creep

you felt a rush of euphoria fill your chest. did he really feel these things for you? your thoughts swirled in the most wonderful way. a wide smile broke across your face, butterflies running rampage through your stomach as you reread his words. his words addressed to you.

"oh thank God i really thought i lost-oh. oh no." spencer started as he walked through the door of his room immediately walking back out. you followed, blinking your watery eyes at him. "i can explain.

"i think youve explained enough, theres like 20 letters in here!" you chuckled, flipping through them.

"i didnt know how to tell you and i dont want to ruin what we already have and i-"

"it wasnt too forward." you stated, grabbing one of the letters.

"what?" he asked, dumbfounded.

"in this one," you held up the letter, "you wrote dear y/n, im in love with you. and then you crossed it out and wrote that it was too forward but i dont think it was."

"youre not mad?"

"mad? spencer ive been trying to admit the fact that im in love with you since i realized it myself, why would i be mad?"

"youre..you feel the same way?" he looked back up at you, a hesitant smile pulling on the corners of his lips.

"more so," you beamed, stepping closer.

he wrapped his arms around you, "thats good or else the rest of this prom would have sucked."

you chuckled, pulling him impossibly closer to you as another perfect song played.

-

-

ultra mega super cool taglist

@mac99martin @imhreid @spencersmagic @hollydaisy23 @raelady1184 @a-broken-pact @padfootswife @hey-there-angels @star-stuff-in-the-cosmos @sonnydoesrandomshit @averyhotchner @laurakirsten0502 @reidyoulikeabook @rem-ariiana @spencerreid9 @vampire-overlord @takeyourleap-of-faith @spenxerslut @violetspoetic @aperrywilliams @b-a-utiful @eevee0722 @srhxpci @reidemandweep @imdefinitelyfloating @random-human-person @gurkiloni @luvspence @calm-and-doctor @ssavanessa22 @singularityjc @sydnee-kom-spacekru @sydneekomspacekru

[boypussydilf]

oh my god, talk about the doctor and the master now. i accidentally typoed doctor as cocter at first. cockter. is this anything

the cockter. timecock. i am the doctor and this is my cock. im so sorry. everyone look at my immortal freaks . there are no cocks involved. um originally i wasnt gonna put this post under a readmore bc for some reason i wasnt expecting it to get long but like, it did, so, n. now those sentences r gonna be all anyone sees unless they click through. that’s great

describe their canon relationship/dynamic

BY GOD!!! they’re childhood friends. …i think. i think its said or at least implied that they knew each other As Actual Kids and not, like… however the fuck old they were in The Academy. im saying they knew each other as kids. played in each others backyards or whatever the fuck baby time lords do. anyway. childhood friends childhood BEST friends who Continued to be best friends for the rest of their lives because they’re so similar theyre practically like the same person. except for that the master let the society they were raised in & their own ego get to them and goes around believing they Deserve completely to be obeyed and served and get to do whatever the fuck they Want, and the doctor on the other hand had a granddaughter to take care of and then he meets humans and learns The Wonders Of Compassion by force. They are the same person on different paths and are forced to be enemies because of it. “Forced” by their own decisions and worldviews, but still. They were best friends who promised to Be Together Forever and then they left each other and they both just want to go back to being best friends and doing everything they planned, SO badly, but neither of them is going to budge from their own way of thinking, so all they get is little bits of banter and the hope that maybe they can convert the other one to THEIR side and scraps and echoes of what they could have if they had each other.

And also they try to kill each other. Mostly the master tries to kill the doctor. He actually SUCCEEDED one time but yknow, regeneration.

your ideal/headcanon version of it? how does it differ from how it is in canon & why is this your favorite version? any other alternate versions of it you enjoy?

oh fuck before i do anything else i need to go look for one fic thst isnt actually related to any part of this except being about them I FINALLY FUCKING FOUND IT. GOD. i dont think i have time to reread it tonight though. sad. SO ANYWAY. they are one of those pairs where like. I like them so much for specifically exactly what they are in canon instead of for Potentials and visions i have in my head. they’re perfect the way they are. I mean that technically varies from era to era of the show because different writers but…. the core concept is always pretty much the same and it’s good. they’re good the way they are.

I do have to dedicate a line to the headcanon people have that twelve & missy were fucking in the vault. Sorry. Yknow i think ive seen two different fics where bill refers to it as “the sex vault” in her mind in passing. Reasonable conclusion i guess

what do you like about their relationship, why is it interesting or enjoyable to you?

i like wanting something you can’t have & wishing to go back to something you can never return to, and i like character foils and people who are just variations on the same concept, constant reminders of what you could’ve been if you’d taken 1 different step. and also i like when they make stupid jokes at each other like the fate of the world isnt at stake or like they arent about to fight each other or so on

what about the individual characters involved? what does this relationship mean to them, what makes it unique among their relationships?

*taps literally just the entire summary of their relationship*

Ok that and like …. they both on some level see each other as the only person in the universe who can TRULY understand them. They’re Time Lords for gods sake theyve had superiority complexes ingrained in them since 5 minutes after they were born (or loomed, whatevers to your liking) and even the Doctor isn’t completely immune to like. Oh my massive alien brain and two thousand year life means you humans can never really Get My Feelings. which is sort of fair but not really. And they’re both, like, basically exiled from their home- when their home EXISTS gallifrey is destroyed with all the time lords dead every other week but like the rest of the time it isn’t. anyway they’re both Renegade Time Lords, they decided to Leave and to interfere in the lives of Outsiders and they have broken like every law that exists and they are no longer welcome home. So with both of them thinking they’re Above any other species, as much as the doctor tries not to, and both of them being unable to turn to any other members of their own species, they look at each other and go. You’re the only motherfucker in this universe who can handle me. You’re the only person who can get me. You’re the only place i can go to for real true complete understanding. Please come back to me so we can be bitches together.

they’re also each other’s Exceptions <3 the master will just kill people instantly with no hesitation no second thought and no remorse. and like. Technically regeneration makes it. harder to die. what with the coming back to life thing. but there are ways around that. The master could straight up kill the doctor forever they could’ve done it already if they wanted to. but they don’t bc they care and theyre hoping they can still be friends again. And the doctor tries not to kill people, generally, but some threats outweigh that. If there’s someone with a bomb that can end all life in the universe, and they can’t be reasoned with or incapacitated, but you do have a gun, shoot them in the head. On the other hand, the master poses a very significant threat to a lot of people all the time and the doctors like. ican’t kill them tho. theyre my friend :( Doctor people are dying

favorite interaction they have in canon

the scene in. i think its the sea devils? where they have like a 3 minute long swordfight and towards the end the doctor has the master’s sword and is holding him at swordpoint. stops to steal one of his sandwiches and take a bite. then gives his sword back to keep fighting bc hes having fun.

also like. literally every time they interact in series 10. itsall so fucking good but thats also very nonspecific so mmmm. the whole bit at the end of the eaters of light, with the doctor going “that’s the trouble with hope, it’s hard to resist”, and saying, maybe the master’s turning Good, but maybe it’s all an act, and her agreeing, “yes, that sounds like something I’d do” and it’s so- s10 is so fucking good, man, and they manage to play it JUST right so that up until the last minute you really just… dont… know. maybe the master is actually changing. maybe she really is feeling remorse and remembering compassion maybe she really does want to be good and maybe she really is trying and maybe she really is getting there. but maybe its just an act. a trap. another trick from a master of disguises. a way to get under the doctor’s skin. you can think one way or the other but you can never feel certain until the moment she literally kills her past self to turn around and side with the doctor. to go fight alongside her friend, to go Do Good, despite the fact that she’d be walking directly into a hopeless situation, a certain death, there is no benefit to this there won’t even be a victory and she’s doing it anyway, and maybe she wouldn’t do that on her own, not yet, but she’ll do it to be by her best friend while he makes another one of his stupid, stupid decisions.

and then she dies, and he has no idea she ever turned around. but it’s the thought that counts. without hope, without witness, without reward.

doctor who series 10 is just *clenches fist* god. the master just wants to live. the master just wants their friend back. these are the things that keep coming back. these are some of the most crucial aspects. and. and. and s10 is. she wants those things so badly that she will give up everything else she has, she’ll change her entire life, become a completely different person, however long it takes, however difficult it is, all for those two things. this just became about the master for a while i think. thats ok.

favorite interaction they have in your head/a situation you want to put them in

Oh god oh fuck i dont have anything for this ummm. I am so fucking tired. I want them to take a nap there we go thats it post wrapped thanks for coming everybody

[elytrafemme]

sleepy annon no longer on annon

i’m exposed to the wind and the rain and the cold as everyone can see me ueueueueueueeu. (after rereading this i cut out like 3 paragraphs of monologue about no longer being on annon. i think id make a great villain if all i had to do was dramatically monologue)

okay that’s a little dramatic but oh well! thank you for the information on the symbolism because i already planned to have like a flooding thing going on for csranboo i just need to solidify my cstubbo idea….

anyway i send you lots of good wishes for your sinus infection/sickness because it sounds quite miserable. drink water and all that stuff doctors say!

okay i’m also here to inform you that i grabbed the url @coughsyrupranboo and was shook to find that coughsyruptubbo was taken and now i’m extremely curious as to who has that url. i also grabbed csranboo and cstubbo because i uh. idk i’ve been snagging urls for the past few days like a mad lad. i also found out you can send asks to yourself which like makes since but also doesn’t.

anyway i send you amazing good vibes ✨✨ and i hope you get to feeling better in the upcoming days! get that rest!

sleepy anon Unveiled.... hiiii!!!

u are so epic and evil and ur villain monologues strike immense fear in myheart <- affirmations for you

BIG fan of cs!ranboo's flooding metaphor i could talk a lot about it just. he's a watery guy what can i say. probably i could say something that wasnt that but ah well

thank u!! im ok really just overdramatic abt sickness im doing fine. tbh it might get me out of a choir thing i didnt really want to do so that works out for me (it does mean ill miss the ice cream celebration for my best friend's late bday but we were already late to it so we can just reschedule i think)

WAIT OK FIRST OFF HOW DID I NEVER THINK TO SAVE THOSE URLS MYSELF SDKJHDFJS SECOND OF ALL... WHO IS COUGH SYRUP TUBBO. IM GONNA GO AND SEE BUT. THATS SO INTRIGUING

thank u :DDD appreciate u

[hobidreams]

damn babes, life is really putting us through the wringer huh😭 post-covid effects are truly wild right?? i remember for my mom, the effects were similar to yours, but for me it made me more sensitive to tastes?? if it’s any consolation, it went away completely for me n my mom after a couple weeks!!

about summer plans though, i’m def not taking summer classes this time around💀 it sorta sunk in that i haven’t gotten a proper vacation ever since i started uni in 2020, so i really wanted to just take a break. had a conversation about it w my mom n she supported my decision to take a break this summer and i honestly don’t regret a thing🥳 anyways i’m just gonna take it easy!! planning to finish crocheting my tote bag (oh did you ever get the pic i sent of the lil hat i made for my cat or did tumblr eat it😵‍💫😵‍💫), and reading a lot of books!!! i read “the girl who fell beneath the sea” last week and i absolutely LOVED IT!! i blame you for starting my obsession with historical fiction/fantasy💀 it’s based off of a korean folktale with a couple of twists, and i think you’d really like it!! i also got the book that joon and yoongi read on in the soop s1 (almond!!), and it’s been an interesting read so far. i’ll update you hihihi. also finally started watching the red sleeves?? i already know the ending but it’s actually so fun to watch even though i know it’s going to hurt like a mf💀

ok that’s all,, sorry this ended up being way longer than i thought it would be💀 but anyways how are you babes!! any fun updates (wedding updates👀)??? what are your plans for the summer?

the spacing is still whack i genuinely don’t know how to fix it lmao

-🌿

my answer got long soooo cut!

omg more sensitive?? cant even imagine what thats like. im glad thats gone for u now!! yeah i think im mostly recovered from the taste thing now.... but also like... glad i didnt get the thing that some ppl had where everything tasted like gasoline. but my random dry coughing came back two weeks ago and its only just starting to fade again 😬😬😬 im worried and have to see a doctor abt it 😭

HELL YEAHH im so glad you got to take the summer off!! fr, so many people are rushing to do their degrees in 4 years and 🤷🏻‍♀️ most ppl i knew did it in 5 and it wasnt a big deal at all. take ur time and do what makes u happy 💗 honestly, relaxing in the summer prepares me better for the winter term so it works for the best! the tote bag sounds amazing! pls show me it!!! and no i never got the pic of ur cat hat 😤😤😤 fuck u tumblr

omg ive heard of that book before! tbh i dont read a lot of fantasy bc i prefer straight historical but i will have to check it out. my backlog of to-reads only keeps growing. oops. i hope u enjoyed the books!!

ahhh never apologize pls. i love and appreciate ur long messages!!! my plans are in effect rn haha im away at a cabin sort of place, that has VERY bad wifi so im doin my best here. but its meant to be very relaxing and lowkey so im gonna do my best to recover. ive also been getting these headaches on and off since covid, but i think theyre getting worse and idk skckwkfnkemfm. i just have to fix this before school starts.

no wedding updates for now bc unfortunately our venue isnt booking yet for 2025 and thats when we have to have it (bc of my school + timing of other big, unmoveable family events). but we've picked a place + contacted the wedding party and everything is a go for that!! oh my god its so expensive. we've made a modest budget but im afraid ppl will judge us if its not super luxurious 💀 i also have a friend (more like "friend" tbh... its a long story) who put some doubts in my mind about our small budget akdmekfm so idk we're still sorting it out. doing our best to fit in everything we want while still saving for our first home 💀💀💀 but im very excited and looking forward to it!!

[shhh-no-ones-home]

december 18 - chris motionless

title: die hard for the holidays

++++

prompt: Person A has secret feelings for person B. person B has secret feelings for person A. one of them suggests having dinner together for the holidays since neither of them will be spending time with their families and all their other friends are busy

request from: @svintsandghosts

tag list: @musicsexandpizza69 @alilpunkrock @cynic-spirit @theoneandonlykymberlee @thisplace-ishaunted @lifeisabitchandsoareyou 

@xyours-eternallyx @joeynihil 

++++

i looked over his newest Instagram post and sighed. god was i that desperate? simping over my best friend? of course i was, but we'd known each other long enough that i knew nothing would ever come of it. when my phone dinged it almost startled me, prompting me to look up at the new text notification. it was my mother. i sighed, opening it and reading it.

"dads sick, doctor says its viral so we wont be able to do Christmas this year. i hope you and your siblings can get together to do something else but if not that's okay. we both hope you have a blessed Christmas anyway and will be mailing gifts out in the next week. love you."

i hummed to myself before answering her.

"hope dad gets better soon and send him my best. i don't see any of them making plans to get together but i guess we'll see. ill mail gifts too if you're okay with that and hopefully ill see you in the new year. love you both."

i closed my phone and set it upside down on my chest, rubbing my hands over my face.

"so much for getting out of the house."

i said to myself. then my phone dinged again, making me roll my eyes in annoyance. to my surprise though it was a text from Chris.

"mom cancelled Christmas this year cause they won a cruise lol. you doing anything?"

i sat up abruptly and typed back.

"my dads sick so mine was cancelled too. when and where do you want me? lol"

i waited patiently for a second before seeing a new message.

"hope he gets better soon. but how about Christmas eve, dinner at my place?"

i nodded quickly to myself.

"ill be there."

---

when the day finally came i wasn't quite sure what to do with myself. we'd hung out millions of times but this was the first time we'd be together for Christmas alone. usually we all had a party with the band and other friends but that was pushed to new years. lets just say i was beyond nervous. plus he told me to dress nice, whatever that meant. no matter what it meant to him, here i was stood in front of my full body mirror, looking over the sparkling blue velvet dress i had on.

"this is too fancy."

i said, moving to my closet. as i started flipping through things i heard my phone buzz. it was Chris.

"you on your way?"

i looked to the time. shit, it was almost six.

"getting my shoes on now. ill be there in fifteen."

i replied. so much for changing. i grabbed a Christmas jumper and pajama pants just in case and shoved them in a bag, pulling my heels on and running out the door. the car ride was fairly quiet, apart from the light Christmas music playing through the radio and my complains about the snow. i wish i would've known it was supposed to snow but it was a little late for that i guess.

as i pulled into his apartment complex parking lot i could see his Christmas tree through the open window. it looked nice, covered in colorful lights and shiny ornaments. i got out of my car and walked quickly across the lot and up the stairs to the second floor, knocking on his door and shivering as the snow flew around me. when he opened the door he offered a wide smile.

"hey! how's it going?"

he asked as he pulled me in for a hug. i breathed in deeply, trying to warm up.

"I'm good, and you?"

i asked as he let me into his apartment. i still felt over dressed, even seeing him in his button down and tie, the two peaking out from under his sweater.

"oh ya know, same old same old. i hope you're hungry, cause dinners about ready."

he said excited and i laughed.

"you know me, never not hungry."

i said and he sent me a knowing look.

"how about you go sit, and ill bring it out."

he said, motioning to the made up table. i nodded.

"you sure you dont want help with anything?"

i asked and he shook his head.

"of course not, you get to be the guest this time, now go relax."

he instructed.

"okay, okay, im going."

i said as he pointed, a demanding look on his face.

---

after dinner we both worked on dishes and things before moving to the couch, the lights all out except the tree as he looked for a movie to watch.

"im glad we could get together for this."

he said, clicking the remote and i smiled.

"you and me both. i think this is the first year i would've been alone since moving out of my parents place."

he laughed a little bit.

"you and me both. even when im not home i still usually have the band to be with."

i nodded solemnly.

"speaking of which, how are they all doing? i feel like i haven't talked to any of them in a while."

i said and he shrugged.

"theyre as good as they always are, keeping busy thats for sure. but youll get to see them for new year."

he mentioned and i nodded.

"yeah i guess so."

it was quiet for a moment, and i looked over him, his focus still on the tv.

"got any suggestions?"

he asked and i hummed.

"uh, no, not really."

i said bashfully, catching his eye when he turned his head with a frown. i guess i wasnt exactly making it subtle that i was staring at him huh? oh well.

"how about die hard?"

he asked and i laughed.

"oh yeah, a christmas classic."

i said sarcastically as he clicked on it.

"you know it."

he said, setting the remote on the coffee table, settling back into the couch. i thought for a second before slipping my arm into his and resting my head on his shoulder.

"you cold?"

he asked and i nodded, looking up as he pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and down over me.

"thanks."

i said, getting comfortable against him again. we sat like that for most of the movie, until i heard him yawn, then he moved to rest his head against mine. i smiled to myself, sliding my hand slowly into his as it rested against my knee. when the movie finally ended neither of us moved.

"ya know, it looks pretty bad out there, maybe you should stay."

he said, never once looking away from the tv. i could feel a small smile making its way to my lips as we sat there cuddled together on the couch.

"you sure? i wouldnt want to be an inconvenience."

i said, feeling his head lift off mine and prompting me to look at him. he squeezed my hand.

"you're never an inconvenience. and besides i wouldnt want you to get stuck in the snow or anything."

i smiled at him.

"i guess i cant argue with that logic, huh."

i confirmed and he nodded his head once.

"great, we can watch another movie then and then go to bed together."

he said, freezing for a second.

"i mean, uh, not together together. but, like, uh-"

he said, flustered, tripping over his words. i pressed a finger to his lips gently.

"its okay chris. i get what you mean."

i said and he sighed.

"fuck it, i did mean together."

he said, slipping his hand out of mine and bring it up to cup my face. he pushed forward and kissed me fervently. a thousand things rushed through my brain at once as i melted into his touch but at the moment none of them mattered. all that mattered was that he felt the same. when he pulled away i didnt open my eyes just yet, sitting there trying to engrave into my memory exactly what he felt and tasted like. when i opened my eyes he was staring down at me, his lips sucked in like he messed something up.

"wow."

i said softly, laughing a little bit.

"im sorry, i shouldn't have done that."

he said, looking down. i shook my head.

"like hell."

i said, making him look to me in shock. i grabbed his face and kissed him again, his hand moving to the back of my head as our mouths moved together. when we both pulled away for air we panted lightly, smiling at each other like idiots.

"it took ya long enough."

i said, making him laugh.

"merry christmas y/n."

he said, stroking my cheek lightly with his thumb and i could feel a blush rising to my face.

"merry christmas chris."

[drkcnry67]

break the news... (day 14)

A/N: @obxmermaid​ this is the 14th entry in the lives of Draco and YN as we get closer to christmas they have now been stuck in the school as their classmates have gone elsewhere for the holidays. but a fire message from YN’s parents inviting them to a gathering makes this a whole less boring. 

pairing: Draco Malfoy x reader

Prompt: “come on down for the weekend, the family is gathering and we would be honored to have you both here.”

mentioning: @sweetness47​

25 days of hogwarts

the message, ah yes the fire message a way for wizards and witches to communicate  without the use of modern technology. also very good way to be somewhat discreet.

this is how you got a fire message that changed your weekend of a lifetime. 

“dearest daughter, you and Draco are invited to come home for the weekend to enjoy our family gathering. this is the one day a year as you know that the entire family gets together under one roof, grudges and petty judgements go out the window. minus your father who is doing well, but the doctors are getting his magic up to full strength again. please reply and say you both will be in attendance for it would mean the world to us. love mom.”

you turned to draco as you both took one look at the fire message and smiled. 

Draco: i guess we need to pack a weekend bag. we can share a bag right?

YN: yep. but a fair warning this weekend my family will be doing all sorts of magic. its like this every single damn year. its basically one big game of catch up that lasts the entire weekend. 

just as draco was about to speak your fire place went crazy. then a figure resembling your mother appeared.

YN: mom?

Laura: ah daughter thank goodness i found the right one. so did you get the fire message...

YN: yes we were just discussing it. 

Laura: oh come on down for the weekend, the family is gathering and we would be honored to have you both here. please say you will come... you know the family will want to know how you are doing and meet draco...

YN: yes thats what im afraid of, all the grilling and questions and and... oh fine.. but do us all a favor and hide the bourbon from uncle ned, you know how lushy he gets. wait which place is it at this year?

Laura: ive already done that... oh dont worry ive spoken to dumbledore by fire message he will have a port key ready. 

YN: oh so you knew i would say yes. 

laura: i hoped you would. now we will see you both on friday at 3pm or sooner. by the way your father is fine. i know you probably got my update note but to reaffirm he is fine. he woke up. the doctors were able to heal him all up. he wont be at the feast they are keeping him a few more days to make sure he is fully functional with his magic. 

YN: we will have to find time to visit him then... 

Laura: yes. now we will see you both in a few days. remember YN be nice to these people they are family but they are gonna be ruthless to anything they dont understand yet. 

YN: what do you mean?

Laura: i mean some of the family is old school like they dont think open relationship policy is a good idea. 

YN: well this will be a shock for them then. see you on friday mom. 

the fire went back to normal as you flopped back onto the couch your head spinning, you know how your family reacts to the abnormal.

You bringing home a boy, who is not from your own house is like people who don't listen to the law.

The law is hard but it is the law. This was one thing you were desperately prepared to fight for, this was your life you werent gonna let your family determine how you get to live it. 

anyway back to the story, you and draco decided to pack and you both went to dumbledore’s office on friday at noon and went through the port key landing just outside of paris at one of your family country mansions. 

Draco: love, this place is incredible so why would we not come here more often. 

YN: cause i want to be independent so i take only what i need and every month they transfer 10,000 into my bank account and another 10,000 into my gringotts. both of these accounts were of my parents doing, not mine. but its mostly their way of support before we go further we need to figure out how to approach this to my family. 

Draco cups your cheeks and kisses you when he pulled back he spoke calmly. 

Draco: we will handle this with smiles, and friendliness and happy thoughts, we are the only people who matter in this relationship, the people who support us matter as long as they support our union. at the end of it, we are the ones that matter and have final say in this relationship. that and the ministry when we tell fudge. 

YN: yes that, we need to do that soon... maybe sooner than we think if this dinner doesnt go well. 

Draco: well lets go inside, im sure your mom knows we are here... dear we are just prolonging the inevitable. 

YN: your right. lets go... but im surprised that someone isnt here to greet me... 

you let out a sharp whistle, letting your purse sit now on the ground. just as you did that, you heard a screech. 

Draco: what was that love?

YN: that is my griffin... 

Draco: im sorry what... 

just then a griffin with golden feathers with tints of black and brown through it lands in front of you. approaching you as you bow, the griffin nuzzles your face with its own. 

YN: i missed you too girl. Draco, this is Opal. Opal this is Draco my boyfriend. 

Opal turns to draco, Draco bows to Opal who approaches Draco and sniffs him and waits a few seconds and then nuzzles Draco’s head. draco then began petting Opal. 

YN: she likes you, its always polite etiquette to bow to a griffin or a hippogriff before approaching it.  this gesture will show the griffin that you are not a threat. this is a show of good faith. of good will. 

Draco: opal, I think we need a guard to get to the door.

Opal growls lightly before leading the way to the door. You both get to the door and opal nudges you before she bows letting you and Draco go inside. your mother comes round the corner from the kitchen and rushes to hug you. 

Laura: im so glad you both are here... now YN your room is fully prepared for you and Draco. not to worry i pre warned most of the family that someone has a big announcement. no one questioned or said anything. not to worry though, people will begin to arrive in a few hours. go on up and un pack. 

YN: its good to see you too mom. this way love. 

you take draco by the hand as you both walk upstairs down the hall and too the right. into your master suite or as you call it “the tower”. this room complete with your own walk in closet, a king size canopy bed, your own bathroom. decorated in a teal color to combine yours and dracos magic essence. 

YN: this is our room for the weekend. 

Draco: its perfect. i love this bed and the color and you. 

You turned to face him, to meet his eyes with your own. 

YN: careful love thats seduction in your tones. we have 2 years to wait before we can be married. or even consider that possibility. 

Draco: doesnt mean we can lay here for as long as possible and just play wizards chess or something. 

you snap your fingers and you both were laying with a wizards chess board on the bed.

YN: we are gonna play this till we are called several thousand times. by everyone who wants to see me and grill me and... ugh... this is stupid.... my family is so passed screwed that its a long long time between gatherings for the reason of they dont know what they want, against every fibre of better judgement that they have, they dont know how much the world has changed.

Draco: love don't worry too much. Let's just play and not worry about anything else right now. Nothing is gonna ruin our weekend. Nothing at all. i believe white goes first love. 

you have been planning your entire strategy for this game you were 6 moves ahead of draco and you planned to keep it that way. 

YN: pawn to g4

draco: knight to f6

YN: pawn to g5

draco: knight to d5

YN: knight to a3

draco: pawn to e5

to this point you had counted for every angle every move that draco could possibly counter. 

YN: knight to c4

Draco: queen to g5

you now had an opportunity to get rid of his queen if you did it correctly. 

YN: pawn to d3

draco: queen to f6

YN: knight to a5

draco: pawn to b5

YN: knight to f3

draco: your good love, but im slightly better... bishop to b7

YN: only as a slight... but not better enough. Knight to b7

Draco: knight to c6

YN: pawn to e3

Draco: love that wasnt very smart of you... knight to e3

YN: love that also wasnt smart of you. Pawn to e3

draco: clever love, pawn to d5

YN: bishop to d2

draco: pawn to e4

You smile as you begin to make Draco think you are preparing to checkmate his king. 

YN: bishop to B4

Draco: oh my dear you are not gonna win right now... bishop to b4, by the way love, check... 

you were so unsure of what to do, now looking at the board you knew now that you were screwed, you were about to loose. 

you had to attempt to get your king out of check. 

YN: im not gonna go down without a final attempt... king to e2

draco: sorry love, queen to f3... i believe its checkmate!

Yn: how I had this all planned out, I had this all planned out... Omg congrats love you win.

You kissed Draco, his hands pushing the chess board off the bed. That started the make out session of the next 10 min. Before someone came up the stairs and knocked on your door...

You turned toward the door and snapped your fingers...

Yn: come on in

You and Draco sat on the bed in each other's embrace watching as the door opened to reveal Hermione Harry and Ron.

You both got up and embraced them. They were here but how did they know.

Hermione: didn't think I would miss family gathering weekend did you... plus i figured we could use the backup, plus these 3 are the first outsiders at this family weekend. you my dear cousin could use a little bit of extra happiness before the rest of our family arrive. besides did you show Draco the extension of the grounds. all the griffins that you have trained. 

YN: he did meet opal who took to him right away. he did surprisingly well for his first encounter with a griffin. But tomorrow we will go to the griffin sanctuary. Tonight we meet the family. I've been avoiding going down, how many are here yet?

Hermione: too many, more than usually show up first. no one has fought yet so its good and pleasant so far. cuz we should put on the family crest!

though you didnt want to Hermione pulled out a bag from your closet and led you into the washroom. you both put on the knee length black dresses and did a hair check before exiting back to the guys. 

Draco took one look at you, came over and kissed you...

Draco: that dress is absolutely gorgeous on you!

YN: thank you love, this is the family crest, its style takes after our hogwarts crests. but it is our family crest. i however look forward to the day when we can be married where we have the freedom to disappear under new names so we can live our lives in hiding, in peace. 

no one except draco heard you say those words as your ears heard the sound of fencing swords... you and hermione took off down the stairs and watched as your uncles all have fencing swords and are fencing throughout the house/property.

YN: well the fun begins. hermione tell the guys to stay upstairs im gonna stay here and watch this wait for my chance to intervene. 

hermione: i should be by your side for this...

YN: no you should wait with the guys, make sure you give them their anti tracking bracelets. make sure that they understand the rules, make sure that they know what they are and are not allowed to do while here. make the rules abundantly clear.

Hermione gives you a swift nod, realizing that you were right, she went back upstairs to the boys. You let out a ear pi3rcing whistle forcing your family present to stop in their tracks.

Yn: family, family should we not be calm, should we be merry and sheath our swords for it is supposed to be the one weekend out of the year where we gather together as one whole magical family, but today you me, you pessimistic grown ass men are acting like children on this the weekend of peace. So every man in here and on this property shall hence forth not herald another sword as long as we all exist within this property border, for today i tell you all that im the one with the announcement.

You turn to see hermione coming down the stairs, draco following behind her, harry and ron behind him. Draco comes up at your side, proudly sporting his house crest as he places his hand to your own. 

YN: this man beside me is my announcement, this young man is my boyfriend of 2 and a half years, this is Draco Malfoy. yes his parents are followers of you-know-who but Draco is different, i saved him from his parents, i saved him from whatever they wanted for him, more importantly we saved each other. without draco i would not be standing before you all to declare that my parents have blessed this union and we are the start of the open house relationship policy in the wizarding world, which now states “any witch or wizard that so sees fit to love someone not of their own house shall be free to be with whoever their heart desires within or without their house crest. for eternity shall this be!” Draco and i will be the first of a long line of students to follow our hearts. if i earn not even one of your approvals this weekend just know this, my parents support us and these 3 behind us support us, the school and its professors and students support us. we are supported and loved in every single direction. but a week ago Draco gave me this necklace with our couples initials and our anniversary date which pairs perfectly with this ring i gave him, neither of us are leaving this relationship and no one can make us. 

for the room was silent all eyes were on you, and neither you nor draco said anything else, you both just walked over to the kitchen to help mom with some baking and rolling of spring rolls, and mixing of drinks yet still no one said anything, they just all stared at you both. 

by the end of the first day you guys had been among the people, no one said a word to either of you. the night was peaceful, you both stood out on the balcony as opal slept beside where you both stood (yes the balcony is big enough for a griffin to sleep on... odd how story telling can be warped to our standards as authors) you both went inside after an hour and a bit later and went to sleep.

the next morning when you both woke it was to the sound of drills and hammers, something was going down and from the sound of it something was happening. 

you both went to the balcony and discovered that the family was building something in the yard. opal was freaking out but she was also tied to a post in the yard. 

YN: either my family has decided to work together or we are in lots of trouble. 

thats when you received a fire message.

YN: its from my cousin she says that the family locked her ron harry and my mother in the barn with the griffins, tied up opal and insist on crucifying us all insisting we are all under the dark lords influence unless you and draco renounce your relationship and never see each other again.

Draco: what are we going to do... i cant live without you, and im never going to renounce our love. 

YN: i have an idea but im gonna need you to do a fire message as well, send one to hermione in the barn tell her that she needs to comfort my mother, help is on the way... i have 1 message to send myself, to hogwarts. 

you prepared your message as draco did his, you both sent them off, you knew hermione couldnt reply but she could receive, the one going to hogwarts however arrived in the hands of who you addressed it. 

dumbledore received the message, he summoned minerva and snape to his office... 

Dumbledore: im afraid this is not a social call, this is quite urgent in fact, a literal matter of life or death. YN and Draco had left yesterday to YN’s parents place, but i just received an urgent fire message... this reads, “Headmaster, this message is Urgent! we need help my family didnt take the news of me and Draco being together very well, they plan to crucify us, to crucify mine, hermiones, dracos, harrys, rons and my moms magical and physical forms. we need assistance, they have me and draco locked in the tower, and the others in the barn. please bring help, we need to get out of here. but they boarded the room we have a balcony but we wouldnt survive the jump. help us, get us out of here, by any means necessary and headmaster thank you for letting me and Draco live our lives together. help us asap!”

minerva: what do we have to do albus, how do we save the children and YN’s mother...

Dumbledore: quite easily, we 3 are going to YN’s family property where i will tqalk to the courtyard, one of you goes to the barn, the other goes to the tower,  we meet back in the courtyard hopefully with everyone safe and sound. hopefully in that time frame i will have calmed down the courtyard and come up with a plan. now lets go... 

the 3 professors by port key traveled and arrived outside the gate to your family estate. with 3 wands this would surely work better than expected. 

snape, minerva & dumbledore: bombarda maxima

with that the gate, and half the wall on either side of the gate blew up, shattered into a thousand pieces. the explosion was loud enough to shake the entire estate. you and draco stood up slightly knowing that help had arrived. 

your family on the other hand saw snape, minerva and dumbledore walk through the debris and they parted like the red sea, going completely silent, dropping whatever they were holding. for they all knew that this was not gonna be an easy task. 

snape went toward the barn in which he found Harry, Ron, Hermione & of course your mom in the corner tied up like animals. he used his wand to untie them all and then waited for the signal to start emerging from the barn. 

minerva went inside the house and up the stairs, where she found and broke down your tower door. 

Minerva: time to go grab what you need lets go. 

YN: thank you so much professor for coming. 

Minerva: i am just glad im not too late... now lets see what dumbledore is saying to your family. 

Dumbledore was now on a platform speaking to your family. or at least those that were in the courtyard. 

Dumbledore: these children have done no harm, these people have made nothing wrong, why do you all believe they should be crucified, they have done nothing wrong except learn to love. 

one person exclaimed: they are working for the dark lord

another person exclaimed: their relationship is toxic and needs to be purified by crucifixion

another person screamed: cause its not right, this is not how the rules dictate... 

dumbledore was fed up with all the same types of answers...

Dumbledore: i albus dumbledore have seen the love that these 2 children share, ive seen it projected through their school work and through their vocals, its as pure and good as any in house relationships that have happened. ive decreed this to the school and am waiting for my meeting with the ministry to tell them about this. it will be a few weeks for that but i state this to you all: whoever goes from here to another soul and speaks ill of what has happened here shall henceforth no more have the ability to speak anything bad, and further more i decree that as long as there are good people running hogwarts, the houses can be free to love whosoever they desire! this began with Draco and YN, this decree is sealed by the signing of this parchment by me, professor mcgonigal, professor snape, YN and Draco. these 2 and the rest of their friends and family are not to come to any harm... now commence with the signing... YN and Draco first, then minerva and severus, i will sign last. 

you and draco walked up to the parchment, you signed it first then handed the pen to draco who followed in signing the parchment. then minerva and severus signed next, then dumbledore before he spoke again. 

Dumbledore: now all of you clean this yard up, none of you will be able to speak of this day, none of you will remember the horrors that were unleashed today. now go back to cleaning this yard and repairing this wall, YN didnt come back for family weekend and you guys do not remember anything. 

the spoken words echo on the property as your mom gave you, hermione, draco, harry and ron a longing look that seemed to say ill see you soon. like that you all ended up back at hogwarts in dumbledores office. 

Dumbledore: i wonder if i could speak with YN and Draco alone a moment. 

Minerva: of course Albus, i will make sure these children make it back to the dorms. come along children. 

the 5 people left the room leaving you and Draco alone in the office. 

dumbledore: now children lets speak a bit about what happened... 

YN: its my fault headmaster, i was so looking forward to telling my family, i didnt know it would go that wrong... i thought the old laws were no longer in effect, that crucifixions were illegal in the muggle and wizarding worlds. 

Dumbledore: unfortunately the old laws are the laws that were drilled deeply into lots of witches and wizards and mostly in pureblood families such as both of yours. but unfortunatly we can not change their minds or their ways for that matter, the only thing we can do about this is move forward starting with my meeting with the ministry. now i expect you both to take the day, relax, take a load off and just relax its best not to speak of what happened to anyone its better that not very many people know yet. now be off, spend as much time as needed to push this days events from your minds. 

you and draco walk out of the room, down the hall, through the changing stair cases to the shared dorm, where your room was.

He walked through the door with you, you both fell back on the bed. Just exhausted mentally.

Draco: are you OK love?

Yn: no I'm not... My family rejected me, rejected our relationship. for that they will have to learn the hard way with the decree, hopefully they will listen to that and hopefully when and or if fudge decides to make the announcement in the daily prophet. i know every single member of my family makes the effort to read the daily prophet... So we are gonna make sure it's front page worthy...

You turned over to face him and watched his eyes search your own. He was concerned about you, about your feelings, about your well being.

Draco brushed his hand gently against your cheek and smiled.

Draco: just lean into me and close your eyes. Don't dwell on what happened, dwell on our future think about that.. I love you YN, I love you so much! Just relax my love, just relax.

You leaned into the arms of your love, and happily lulled off to a state of peace and relaxation. You were not sure what tomorrow would hold but as long as nothing else bad happened you would be fine.

~to be continued~

[macklives]

session 62 end

did we just hit like a fucking dead end with the kids, like a bad ending to the game????? and we gotta restart that shit in order to just pretend it never existed??? to show the readers that things CAN go wrong from here on out and the kids have to be careful?? that its not just a game anymore?? that fuck- ive watched doctor who, ik all that doomed timeline bullshit and we cant save them sort of dealio but seriously

why? why are we here? why is this happening??? (good question, i dont have an answer)

was john following GC’s advice the start to this whole alt ending or smth?

like i really want to continue but i have work in the early morning and i feel this will take a while and i dont want to quit randomly in the middle of the explanation as to what happened to john/jade and how dave will fix this all with his new time powers and whatnot. god i want to say how cool that is, and expand on the game giving them fucking powers of all things but...

im also a little distraught

i.... dont even know what to say. im upset lol.

because uhhhh john is dead.

like he’s actually dead. 

and so is jade... presumably. but honestly, she probably is. which fucking sucks ass. since john wasnt there to help her out on her session which probably left her stranded. GOD THATS SAD NO WHAT THE FUCK

wait no, the saddest part i think is how dave/rose had to deal with it. how theyre only 13 and they had to see their friends die. they had to spend 4 months on a game where it was only the two of them and they probably couldnt carry on without jade/john which means there was no getting out of the medium. dave was stuck on lava land for that long. is there even water??? kid could be so dehydrated oh my god.

fuck

4 months

4 months of that bullshit

AND DAVE PROBABLY BLAMED HIMSELF WHAT THE FUCK HE LET JOHN GO WITH IT, HE SAID ILL SEE YOU LATER AND DIDNT STOP ANYTHING. I TOLD YOU SOMETHING BAD WOULD HAPPEN I JUST DIDNT REALIZE IT WAS THIS FUCKING BAD. I THOUGHT ON THE LINES OF JOHN SURVIVES BUT JUST GETS INTO SOME SHIT YKNOW. NOT FUCKING DEATH. AND DAVE HAD 4 MONTHS OF PROBABLY SAYING IT WAS HIS FAULT OH MY GOD HERE IT IS THE TEARS HAVE COME OH GREAT THIS IS FUN I LOVE CRYING

fuck

and i have to sleep now

and i have to process this

and i have to like

maybe mourn idk

i have work tmr lmfao

maybe i can say im grieving and get the shift off

anyways, so that whole plan GC made... she basically doomed john. she killed him. idk if she knew what she was doing or simply didnt understand what would happen but decided “hey this seems alright with no consequences” and then fucked herself over. but still. im guessing this is her fault. man, i was really starting to like her too wtf. 

what kind of messed up fucking game is this?? god. dave didnt want to play it at first. god, rose probably feels like shit too bc she was the one who pressured the boys in playing it during act 1. and now shes gonna cease to exist?? literally stop. just no. hussie rewrite this pls, ill pay you like the only $20 i have.

THEYRE   T H I R T E E N     MAN I CANT STRESS THAT ENOUGH

and ik its gonna be okay but that did just happen and its not as if we’re just going to forget it was a thing simply bc the time got reversed. idk.

im gonna sleep this off i think. 

hh

goodnight guys.

[ladylillianrose]

Episode 17 Thoughts

I think Aydan is going to be the one to tell Eda the truth eventually. She wants to tell her so badly!

Serkan honey she deserves the truth and you know it!

Oh Eda you are such a fibber. The fact that you know you need to dig is only going to make you more determined to get to the bottom of it!

I love Engin! Hes still pulling for EdSer regardless. He knows things will work out in the end.

Oooo both Eda and Serkan beating out all their frustrations.

Of course you're feeling sick Eda, you're working out a ton, you're pissed off a.d probably dehydrated.

Grrrr Efe, still don't trust you at all. Even if you are working for Eda's grandma you're still shady as hell 😡😡😡

Having hoped i was pregnant several times (i wasn't any of them), you can be nauseous and sensitive to smells and other pregnancy symptoms and not be pregnant at all.

Ooo bitchy assistant is not gonna fly with anyone in that office.

Serkan has wanted to scrap that car and buy her a new one since day 1, but Eda would never allow it.

Yaaas sassy Leyla! Put Erdem in his place!

Lmao baby Serkan!! Omg Engin trying so hard not to laugh at his joke.

Engin's face when Eda is suggested to work with Serkan. He's like "I couldn't have planned it better myself."

Lmfao their faces when she said she would be alone with Serkan!

Ha! I knew that she would be pregnant again. Breast feeding doesnt always prevent pregnancies, i know a few people who it happened to and they ended up with 2 under 2!

Using Leyla to spy on Eda tsk tsk Serkan. Although considering her symptoms I can understand why he might have suspicions of pregnancy later on.

Serkan i think you would enjoy Eda beating you up far too much 😈😈

Somehow i imagine the valet is very invested in their relationship and hopes everything turns out okay with them lol

Always worried and taking care of Eda when shes ill 😍😍😍

Ferit and Celin fighting over dog custody, *sigh* just give the dog to Ferit, Selin. You won't have time for it anyway

Lmao his face when the dr asks if she could be pregnant. He's like "No...No...No?" 🤣

Lmfao Serkan, why is the first thing you mention nausea canbe a symptomof Ebola 🤣🤣🤣 This man and his overreacting

I love the mimosa plant! Lmao Eda calling Serkan out, saying he's cowardly and preferring solitude like the plant.

Oooo the husband is pissing me off, and clearly upsetting his wife too.

Serkan you should know by now that telling Eda not to do something is a sure fire way to get her to do exactly that.

Perfect response from Aydan about why she makes video calls 🤣🤣

Eda saying if she didnt want Aydan to call she would say so🥰

Lmao Aydan's face at not only a baby but him being called Little Serkan

Lmao I'm dying at the mischievous look on Eda's face when she suggests that they could take care of Little Serkan. And Serkan's look of "God help me with this crazy woman I'm in love with and can't say no to!"

His face when he overhears them talking! Omg Serkan sweetheart, deep breaths.😂😂😂

The fact that he keeps looking at Eda's stomach has ne dying 🤣🤣🤣

Kerem honest to god has the best facial expressions for everything, i cannot with this man's talent🤣🤣🤣😍😍😍

Lmao looking at the pregnancy test in the trash and just having his brain go 🤯🤯🤯🤣🤣🤣

Aydan immediately going to wild theories of running out and adopting a baby. Sure she couldnt have been pregnant and had a baby because of the timing, but they could just run out amd adopt?🤣🤣🤣 Even with all the Bolat $$ it would still take longer than one day to do an adoption!

Serkan is totally the helicopter husband 🤣🤣🤣

Serkan always has to explain to Engin when he needs him for stuff other than what he is saying lol.🤣🤣🤣

Ooo Engin you need to make it clear that you are off the market!

SIRIUS!!!! He's so cute in his little jacket!😍😍😍 Omg the thought of Serkan putting it on him to keep him warm and dry 😍😍😍

I've missed our sweet boy! And he has missed his Mama!!🥰🥰🥰🥰

Engin's pure joy at being an uncle😍😍😍

And rightly pointing out that Serkan and Eda need to talk!!

He found a house and is moving in!!! Tell me its the doctors house!!

What is Efe plotting now, and why is he telling Selin....🤔🤔🤔

Lmao he is so panicked about little Serkan its adorable🥺🥺🥺

Omg telling little Serkan he's luckier than other Serkan's cause he got to spend all day with Eda🥺🥺🥺🥰😍😍😍

Also side note, that baby shouldnt be sleeping in a hat, blanket and coat! Too many layers and its dangerous to sleep in a hat (can get caught over their nose, mouth or throat) (Sorry I have a degree in child development and I worked with infants for 3 years, so i know a lot about babies!)

Lmao omg telling baby Serkan about architecture and the Roman Empire (the Roman Empire is something i could totally see my husband telling a child about lol)🥰🥰🥰🥰

Serkan saying the baby is a business man like him 🤣🤣

Omg Ayfer and Aydan being so confused about the baby and possible pregnancy lmao🤣🤣🤣

Serkan's face at having to burp the baby🤣🤣🤣

Lmfao Efe that is the best thing you have ever said 🤣🤣🤣

Ooo jealous Serkan is back!🤣🤣🥰🥰

Im so glad that Ayfer and Aydan's talks with Eda and Serkan cleared everything up😂😂😂😂😂

Selin you need to stop being such a bitch to Ceren. And Ceren has every right to stand up for herself and Eda.

Ugh hes so proud of her, and he loves to watch her work and be herself.🥺🥺🥺

These two I swear! Just kiss and make up you are killing me😭😭😭😭😭

The sudden💡 as everything becomes clear to Serkan. 🤣🤣

Eda is going to kill him for his assumptions, and not coming right out and asking her.

And yet despite everything Eda wants to help Aydan.

The poetry 🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭💔

Efe causing trouble of course!!😡😡😡

Omg i love that Eda did the VR visit to London for Aydan❤❤

I would like Ceren and Ferit to end up together but they need to give it some time before they start a relationship.

Lmao Eda and Aydan shushing Serkan during the play🤣🤣

Oooo Efe holding that meeting when Serkan said they didnt need one.

Ceren taking Ferit to get a new dog 🥰🥰🥰

Lmao oh Engin, honey you are just so clueless with women.

Serkan and Ferit teasing Engin 🤣🤣🤣

Efe what the hell did you do to the attic!!!🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

The truth has to come put about Efe, Eda's parents and everything!!!

Omg what if whoever Efe is working for isn't grandma, but instead the person responsible for Eda's parents death? And that wasnt an accudent, but was someone trying to get revenge on Alptekin? Perhaps Kaan's father?

[the-small-one-to-rule-them-all]

Wingless

summary: Virgil has gone his whole life without wings and has been just fine, thank you very much. In a world filled with winged people he sticks out like a sore thumb, and he is fine being the only one. But then again maybe he isn’t as alone as he thought. 

pairing)s): Platonic moxiety, platonic Royality, platonic anaroyality) background romantic? logicality (mentions of plans to go on a date)

warnings: a vague mention of amputation, mentions of difficulties with accessibility, I think that’s it actually, this is pretty fluffy, but please let me know if I missed anything!

a/n: so this has been sitting around on my computer for a while. I tried to expand it but it wasnt working and im tired of editing it over and over tbh. It’s pretty sweet and fluffy. I hope you enjoy!   (also obviously the idea of the sides having wings isn’t mine or even remotely original lol, but this is my own universe and my own spin on the idea)

Virgil has gone his whole life without wings and has been just fine, thank you very much. Maybe he is a little defensive and has learned to stand up for himself. But he has had to, and it’s not like knowing how to stand your ground and fight back is a bad thing. Maybe he still thinks he is broken, but it’s not like there is anything he can do about it. He has never met anyone else without wings afterall. If not having wings makes finding an accessible job really difficult, so be it. If not having wings makes people stare and less willing to trust him, oh well, he just stares right back. He’s alone, and that’s fine, he has come to terms with that reality.   

Virgil’s whole world changes when he sees someone else without wings on the subway one day.

He awkwardly approaches them as they happen to get off at the same stop as him, “Excuse me?” he says, gently laying a hand on their arm. 

The person turns with a start, “Yes? What is it?” they ask, peering over a round set of glasses. 

Virgil opens his mouth and tries to say something but nothing comes out. So, he just stares for a second before turning and showing the man that he doesn't have wings either.

The man gives him a grin, “Oh hey, we match!”

Virgil smiles a little, “I didn't think there was anyone else like me.” he mumbles. 

The man lays a hand on Virgil’s shoulder, “Well you definitely aren’t alone. Actually, there are more of us than you might think. If you’re not busy right now i'm actually heading to a support group for people without wings. You’re welcome to join me.” “Oh, uh yeah, okay... I'd love to.” Virgil was about to head to his favorite record store, but he supposed it couldn't hurt to go visit, it’s not like he really has anything else to do. Besides, it’s probably better he doesn’t spend the money and he doesn’t think he could say no if he tried. 

The man smiles and holds out his hand to Virgil, “I should probably introduce myself, i'm Patton.”

“Nice to meet you Patton, i'm Virgil.” He says, shaking Patton’s hand.

“Well Virgil, i'm glad we met.”

“Me too.” Virgil says, turning to look around, “Now where is this meeting thing you were talking about?”

Patton grabs Virgil’s hand and turns walking out of the subway, “It’s not far from here, only about a few minute walk.” 

Virgil stumbles as the unexpected pull drags him forward, but only for a moment. When they get outside he is able to better get his bearings and Patton lets go of his hand as the foot traffic is practically nonexistent.

Patton turns to Virgil, “Oh, You’re probably wondering why I don't have any wings, huh?”

Virgil shrugs, “Well I didn't want to be rude, I get that question a lot, but yeah I am genuinely curious.”

Patton smiles, “I understand, but I offered, so It’s no problem to share. Apparently when I was a super small child I got sick and my wings got infected and had to be amputated to keep me alive. I don't remember having them as that happened when I was about one year old, but anyway. What about you? If you don't mind sharing.”

Virgil nods, “I don't mind. It’s kinda weird though, I was actually born without wings. I've seen tons of doctors, none of them has any idea why. I'm fine, healthy, nothing out of the ordinary, and my birth was perfectly normal and healthy. I just... Don't have wings.”

Patton hums, “I know someone like that, I don't know if they’ll be at the group today but if they are I'll be sure to introduce you. I think you would get along well.”

There is a lull in the conversation and, as the time passes, Virgil is finally starting to process everything that just happened. He is hit with a strange sense of hope? Excitement? Joy? And some other positive emotion Virgil feels but can't quite identify. He is just trying to find a word for it when Paton drags him in the front door of some building he hadn’t noticed. He walks in and sees a room full of people, every single one of them without wings. 

Virgil just stops dead in his tracks and stares. The reality of it hits him like a wall. Virgil is reeling. He isn't alone. He isn't some strange defect alone in a world of “normal” people. There are other people like him. That means... maybe, just maybe, there isn't anything wrong with him. He... He feels like he belongs.

He doesn't even notice that he is crying until Patton asks him what’s wrong. 

“Absolutely nothing.” Virgil mumbles.

Patton lays a comforting hand on Virgil’s shoulder, “This must be a lot for you. I was a bit overwhelmed my first time too, and I knew that there were other people without wings. Take your time to adjust. Oh, and just so you know, the group is a rather informal space where we can sit around and just talk about things. Feel free to join a conversation whenever you’re ready.”

Virgil gives Patton a small nod and takes a deep breath trying to steady himself as he takes another look around. He wipes his eyes and another man approaches him, “Hey there, I haven't seen you here before.”

“It’s my first time here, you couldn’t’ve had the chance.”

“Well then, welcome! I’m Roman.” The man says with a comically deep bow.

Virgil smirks, “Hi Roman, i'm Virgil.”

“Well Virgil, it's great to meet you! How did you hear about us?”

Virgil blinks, “Well, to be honest, I met Patton getting off the subway not ten minutes ago.”

Roman’s eyes go wide, “Oh dang, well this must be pretty new to you huh?” 

“That’s an understatement.” Virgil chuckles wryly.

“Well, I hope you like it here.”

“I do, haven’t done much yet, but it doesn’t seem bad either. I just have a question.”

Roman raises an eyebrow, “Shoot”

Virgil sighs, “This is gonna sound really stupid, but what are those?” he says pointing to some things scattered around the room.

“You mean the chairs?” Roman asks, very obviously doing his best to hide his laughter.

Virgil scowls, “I mean yeah, I get that they’re chairs. I figured they were meant for sitting on, but what is that attached to the seat?”

Roman chuckles, “They’re for our pet dragons to perch on.” 

Virgil tilts his head, looking at Roman, confused and exasperated. 

Roman’s smile disappears, “Oh, you... you were being serious, weren't you?”

Virgil nods, “Yeah, and i'm still confused.” he says folding his arms.

Roman nods, “Okay, sorry. The backs of the chairs are for leaning against, they are a lot more comfortable that way. We’re just having a social hang out night tonight, nothing super organized or fancy, you’re bound to see someone sit down at some point.”

Virgil rolls his eyes, “Why not show me how it works? Im mean it can't be-”

He is interrupted as Patton bounces up to them, “Oh Virgil, you met Roman, how nice! He was the person I was wanting to introduce you to!” Patton says, giving Roman a hug.

Roman hugs him back, pulling back to clap Patton on the shoulder, “Nice to see you again, Padre. How did things go the other night with Logan? I just have to know!”

“Nice to see you too, Roman.” He chuckles, “You didn't tell me Logan was such a nerd.”

Roman huffs.

“Oh, calm down, it went well. He really is great. He is so sweet and beautiful and smart. We’re actually going on a date tonight”

Roman smiles, “That’s wonderful! I'm glad you two are getting on so well!”

Virgil smirks, “You seeing anyone, Roman?”  

Roman shakes his head, “No actually, I am between princes at the moment,” he admits scratching the back of his head, “I'm more of a matchmaker than an actual match you know.”

Virgil nods, “Ah. Yeah, I get that.” 

At that moment Patton grabs Virgil, tugging him away. “Oh Virgil, you should come meet my friend Harriet, they’re right over here. You’ll love them.”

And with that Roman was laughing and waving as Patton dragged him away.

[plushievash]

how did leo/alexei happen? give us lore!

so for a long while they both had crushes on each other but alexei is stupid and leo suffered from internalized homophobia believing hes not meant for relationships no matter how much he wanted one with someone he would never pursue it bc he thought he would be a burden/nobody sees him that way/he is repulsive;; alexei just admired leo too much and thought leo was out of his league and that hed never love someone like him and also bc hes alexei and is just like * has severe paranoia and also no social skills *

dasha saw the Signs™ tho bc hes like love is in the air….and i will find out where its coming from and then. he suffered watching these 2 dumbasses for 2 almost 3 years dance around each other and their feelings while nobody else believed him that hey…..looks like somethins goin on between alexei and leo…u ever notice how leo takes any chance to touch him? u ever notice the way alexei immediately becomes more interactive when leo comes along? yes i know leo is clingy yes i know alexei is improving socially just like. Look its Right in Front of You.

but anyways went like that for the longest time where both of them kind of planned to make their feelings known but could never work up the courage to follow through with it. and alexei got with lucien to try to forget abt leo bc he “knew” he ‘had no chance’ and leo just [roblox OOF] and as usual * focuses on work at a dangerous level and does stupid stuff *

which ends up with a mix up and confusion where leo is missing and puts everyone in a panic and miko catches a guy named nikostratos and ooh ooough oh hes so mad hes so ohguh hes so angry that hes mad. and without thinking and following standard procedure does some things and is 8D to find out uh oh! just gave my brother the familys awful itchy scratchy disease! fuck! time to go kms i guess!

and masha is big mad at everyone so shes just like leo and miko are banned from work and if they even attempt it they wont bc theyd cross me and nobody crosses me. and then alexei is put on watch to make sure leo doesnt try to sneak away and work on his own anyways and to nobodys surprise, he does try. instead of sending one of his people alexei personally confronts him and persuades him to go back home. to which leo asks alexei to stay with him and he does…slowly leo starts to ease up again as alexei stays with him and basically lives with him/stella/the twins for a short while as hes stationed to by masha

eventually after a while of watching both miko and leo masha is satisfied enough with their recoveries and allows them back to their jobs calling alexei off since they no longer need to be supervised. but alexei again * is extremely paranoid and well meaning but also awful * so he keeps his people watching leo from a distance just to be sure hes safe; as he does with maxim and miko (the only difference is that maxim and miko Know he does that and asked him to do that; leo didnt.) oh yeah somewhere sprinkled in around that time alexei split with lucien cause he just. wasnt happy it wasnt working. i dont remember where exactly in all this mess it happened LMAO u might wanna ask my boyed friend abt that since alexei is his

so anyways after a while of being back to work leo notices hes still being followed and slowly gets paranoid and irritable. he ends up doing rash things that could end up getting him killed just to get the attention of the people following him to see if hes “just being paranoid” or if hes really being followed still despite masha allowing him to return to work. eventually after the 3rd time instead of sending someone to intervene alexei himself shows up and leo is Angry and hurt tells alexei to call off his people cause if he ever sees them again he wont hesitate to kill them and so alexei does cause he does care abt his people he doesnt try to defend himself or anything it finally hits him that he just “oh hmm. ok yeah that was kinda fucked up. uh oh i fucked up. this is bad”

and leos whole attitude began to shift instead of his usual generally polite and very easy attitude ready to make friends with anyone he became guarded irritable and quiet and he lost the soft tone in his voice. eventually even with his favourite most important people around him (stella/felix/miko) hes just too paranoid sick to his stomach and angry to stay where he is. so he says hes going to take a vacation and instead moves down to work at the other facilities as a lower agent domenico carlevaro; he doesnt alter his appearance too much aside from dyeing his hair and changing his general fashion style. the only person he allows to come down and see him is mikolaj but he says if felix or stella ever asked him he is allowed to tell them they can see him but no one else. not maxim or dasha or alcides not the twins. he cant stand to see anyone else. miko regularly visits him but has to ask each time since leo doesnt stay in 1 place for too long. eventually leos anger just makes him even more reckless causing him to break his prosthetic; so he has to return to apologize to dasha and ask for a new one.

there he finds out alexei has disappeared and immediately he just feels a twist in his stomach bc he wanted to be angry and pretend that hes over it and he doesnt care about him anymore but he still does so after he gets his new arm despite maxims protests he insists that he will assist maxim in the search. miko reports that alexei was last seen injured being carried away by a woman from some abandoned facility and so everyone is like ok fuck! who is that! is he already dead! or what the fuck! goddamn it! eventually maxim and leo manage to find where alexei is hiding running into one of his people; daria who is a tracker and not really experienced in protection. she… doesnt know how to properly use a gun. shenanigans happen bc daria is sweet and maxim and leo are not mean then leo sees alexei and boy ! he is  FUCKED UP. alexei looks like hes str8 up dying (cause he is!) hes extremely weak and has to use a cane to walk hes got bloody bandages all over and his arm in a sling and later leo and maxim see that arm has a huge ass bite taken out of it and maxim is just 8D…im a good doctor but im not That good a doctor what the fuck is this. and calls marina down to see if they know what this is

marina does and identifies it as a kaprinka bite (ask my boyed friend what a kaprinka is) and that all cases theyve been in charge of nobody has survived but theyll do what they can to try to fix it. maxim and leo decide to take shifts to always be in the room with alexei in case anything goes wrong like his condition suddenly gets even worse and they need to call marina or an attempt on his life happens. so the first night while leo is in charge of watching alexei they start to talk and leo isnt angry anymore and instead is just…Really really sad and admits how hes felt and how he knows that he doesnt have to; he shouldnt; and he Doesnt forgive him for what he did but hes willing to push that aside to at least go back to the way they were. and alexei admits how hes felt and apologizes for everything and how he “probably got himself killed” and theyre both just mmmm feels bad toddbut after that it gives alexei the push to keep on living and alexei does Stupid Stuff which is really stupid but! it helps and he manages to bring back the kaprinka for marina to see what they can do to help him since they said that theyve only ever seen kaprinka that were already dead and not usable for testing it takes months and some big rollercoaster ups and downs w/ alexeis progress but he makes it and recovers but continues to stay in hiding til he gains his full strength back and during that time someone is sent to kill him and leo and maxim stop the guy and then stuff happens and alexei is big mad and blah blah and stuff and then after thats taken care of and his recovery is full they all return and leo helps alexei/artyom/daria in their search for what originally caused the whole situation alexei got in

and so basically from the day they found him theyve been dating Finally but never like fully established it but its very clear now so everyone knows and dasha is rubbing it in everyones faces and miko and felix are dying and they just Cant understand.

also a quick note: theres 2 darias…i have a daria who is just a cute crafts girl with rainbow hair but thats not the daria in this situation…the daria in that situation is my boyfriends oc who is a motorcycle racer and tracker for alexei but they are both equally cute and good

[mskinkyafro]

Last Call (Ethan Ramsey x MC)

A/N: I know what most could be thinking...what the hell it’s only been two chapters, but I can’t help it! I feel so much excitement and adoration for Dr. Ethan Ramsey. We don’t know much about him but ideas were popping in my head all weekend.  Any details I reference about his past in this fic is original content I conceived and nothing confirmed in PB cannon. This would definitely not be apart of cannon so cannon divergence here. The song used briefly in this fic is “These Arms of Mine” by Otis Redding.

Italicized and bold:song lyrics

Italicized: internal thoughts

Summary: Dr. Ethan Ramsay takes time to reevaluate the newest intern that’s captured his attention in more ways than one, whether he wants to admit it or not.

All Rights to PB for their characters, settings, and stories. I don’t own them, I just borrow minus my MC Dr. Katrina Michaels.

All Rights to who own the song “These Arms of Mine”.

In the mischievous hours of the night Dr. Ethan Ramsey sits alone in the now barren Donahue’s nursing another drink. The place once buzzing with noise is now near sheer silence except the gentle music playing from the jukebox. The last crop of stragglers, only a few with slurring speeches make their exit. Hearing the soft thud of the door shutting he let out a mild grunt and raises his near empty glass towards the bartender.

“Last one, buddy. My knees are screaming and any minute longer I’ll be visiting you at your job versus you visiting mine.”

Reggie says as he refills the glass and then grabs a rag to clean.

“Now we can’t be having that now.” Ethan replies before taking a small gulp.

Suspicious at such warm words from the man Reggie stops wiping down the counter to look at Ethan.

“Hmm, that’s strangely kind of you-”

Before Reggie can finish his sentence Ethan cuts him off all the while looking into his diminishing drink

“Because then who will serve me drinks at my beck and call?”

His eyes shine with mirth as looks at Reggie while he takes another sip.

“You almost had me there. You’re a cheeky bastard, you know that? I should throw your ass out for that.” Reggie says while shaking his head amused.

“But you won’t because you’re too good. That’s exactly why the likes of myself don’t deserve you as friend Reg.”

“Heh, damn right. I only keep you around because you tip well.”

Ethan chuckles at the man in front of him.

“Never change, Reggie.”

“Wasn’t planning to buddy.”

The two men finish laughing when the shoosh of the door opens and a young African-American woman enters while calling over her shoulder before the door closes.

“I’m going to use the restroom and wait inside until the Lyft comes. Night everyone!”

Recognizing the voice speaking  Ethan turns and sees Dr.  Katrina Michaels. As she moves from the entrance and towards the back right of the bar to the restrooms his gaze follows and he retreats to his mind briefly.

“I haven’t quite figured out why but there’s something about the rookie that intrigues me.”

Reggie notices his friend is watching the woman from earlier and can already gather what could be the reason why. Being the good friend that he is Reggie decides to give his old pal  a nudge in the right direction. So he taps Ethan on the shoulder to get his attention.

“Welp, I gotta clean up in the back. Keep an eye on the place for me. Especially the little lady, I’m leaving both in your capable hands.”

Ethan quirks an eyebrow at Reggie as he takes another swig and asks

“What are you getting at Reg?”

Reggie smirks to himself and shrugs his shoulders before he turns to leave Ethan alone and enters a side door near the shelves of alcohol. Ethan scoffs and continues to drink his glass of scotch enjoying the the burning sensations that slide down his throat. His thoughts lingers to earlier in the night when talking to Katrina.

“She definitely is different in the real world but on the hand not so much.  I don't quite understand why this intern is different from the others. Other than  proving herself capable so far but outside  EdenBrook I notice that my thoughts have dawdle on her more  trivial attributes. Such as her underlying fierceness or perhaps her vivaciousness. Well I suppose I can’t say I truly recognized these qualities more so I overlooked them, one such as her beauty. She truly is stunning. It makes me wonder why a woman like her spent time near me when the place was swarming with younger men. Especially asking if someone was waiting at home for me. It can’t be what I think… no I probably need to ease off the alcohol right now. Besides who would wait around  for me anyway? Edie surely doesn’t anymore.”

As he sets his glass down back on the counter he hears a soft voice calling his name which removes him from his thoughts. Without turning around he says

“Hello again, rookie.”

“I’m surprised to see you still here Dr. Ramsey.” Katrina Michaels murmurs.

He turns to face the intern and replies

“I’m surprising in a lot of ways.”

She smiles and delicately places herself  onto the stool that’s next to Ethan.

“You’ll have to  prove that you know.”

Despite himself he smirks at her. His gunmetal blue eyes piercing into Katrina’s hazel ones. Their gazes seem to challenge yet captivate the other. There’s a comfortable yet tense air between the two until the smooth vocals of Otis Redding play from the jukebox.

“These arms of mine, they are lonely. Lonely and feeling blue. These arms of mine are yearning, yearning  from wanting you...”

The song continues to play as Katrina speaks.

“You know he’s is one of my favorite artist. I used to...”

As she speaks Ethan watches the woman in front of him. He observes the way her eyes are lit up to how a rogue strand of her curly hair hangs, and even how in the dimly lit bar her smile radiates and contrasts with her beautiful coffee-hue complexion. He tries to listen to all she’s saying, now beginning to tell him about much of a fan she is. But he’s beginning to distract himself with his thoughts once more.

“Of course this song plays. Very convenient timing, I’d say. I bet Reggie had something to do with this. It’s been so long since I had someone. At this point other people would take anyone. But I could never at my stage in life. That’s why I’m here at almost one in the morning. I wonder why she’s here too, besides being young.”

Ethan breaks away from his mind to refocus back onto Katrina whose finishing up a compliment about his research.

“Katrina, may I ask you a question?”

“Of course, Dr. Ramsey.”

“First, outside of EdenBrook you may call me, Ethan.”

Katrina runs her hand through her hair before replying

“Are you sure, Dr. Ramsey?”

He rolls his eyes briefly before turning to look at his glass to take another sip of his scotch.

“Yes, rookie. You referring to me as doctor outside of the hospital makes me look a bit pretentious.”

“I think that’s your own doing, Dr. Ramsey.”

He pauses lifting his glass to meet his mouth in midair and turns to glare at her but it falters once he hears the bubbling of laughter escape her plump lips. He goes back to take a swig and places his glass back down gently.

“Sorry. I couldn’t pass that up...Ethan.”

“Now, was that really that difficult?”

“Not exactly, but it’s a bit strange. To be on first name basis with your idol.”

“I’m just a man, rookie. Not a celebrity or some god.”

Katrina turns her face away from Ethan and averts her eyes from his as she whispers

“Maybe, but you sure do have god-like looks.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t make out what you said?”  curious of what she said.

“It’s not important. But you wanted to ask me something?”

“Yes I do. I happen to be thinking of what you asked me earlier in the night and wondered the same.”

“Is that so? Is there a reason why you liked to know?”

Her tone so playful with a hint of flirtation that he couldn’t decipher if he imagined it or not.

Instead of speaking he shrugs his shoulders in response.

Smiling to herself and looking down before meeting his eyes again.

“I’m just like you. No one awaiting my return.”

“Interesting.”

The fading music is more audible as the two stop speaking momentarily

“...I need somebody. Somebody to treat me right, oh. I need your arms. Loving arms to hold me tight. And I, I, I need your, I need your tender lips to hold me.”

A chime from Katrina’s cell phone breaks the silence before either one of them could.

“That’s my Lyft. It’s two minutes away so, I’m going to waiting outside.”

Ethan nods in understanding, she begins to remove herself from her seat, but still slightly tipsy she slips and falls into Ethan’s body who reacts immediately.  He grasps firmly yet gently ahold of her,  keeping her steady. Both freeze from the sudden contact and close parameters they are from the other.

Katrina can see Ethan’s adam’s apple bob up and down in his throat and he thinks to himself while staring at Katrina.

“I suddenly have the urge to gently brush the curls away from her beautiful eyes and...I need to stop this instant. It’s late and I am feeling a bit lonely but I’m beginning to enter a dangerous area. This would lead to an H.R. nightmare. I can’t let myself get tangled with the matters of the heart. Especially with my, ahem, the rookie. God, I need to lay off the sauce for a while.”

He’s pulled from his thoughts when Katrina removes herself from his arms.

“Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it, rookie.”

“Is that going to be a permanent thing? Even outside of work?”

“What?”

“Rookie. I mean you’ve called me by my first name earlier tonight even when I thought you didn’t even know it, much less remember it nor care to.”

“I’ve told you. I’m observant...rookie. Does that answer your question?” He says smirking at her.

Rolling her eyes she moves to make her way to the exit.

“Yes it does. And you deny that you’re favoring me.”

“I’ll let you believe what you want. Even if it’s a silly notion.”

“Whatever you say, Dr. Ramsey” she purrs.

Ethan feels his heart rate increase briefly. Before he can respond, she speaks up.

“My ride should be here now. I’ll see you around Dr. Rams- I mean Ethan.”

She rubs her hand obsessively through her hair before giving him a quick wave as she inches closer to the door.

“For whatever reason my name leaving her lips sounds right. As the same for hers. Katrina. Ka-tri-na. I’d like to say it more than just in my...Okay enough. I must stick with calling her  rookie. That’s what's...what’s safe.

Katrina opens the door which pulls Ethan out and he speaks for the final time

“Have a good night...Katrina. Get home safe.”

She stops at hearing her name being used and turns back around and grins wide at Ethan.

“You too.”  she steps outside and calls back to Ethan.

“Maybe once I’ve graduated from rookie or you tire of it, you can call me Kat. Whichever comes first.”

Without another word or glance she walks out the door.

Ethan is left staring at the spot she was occupying before turning his attention back to his glass. He drains the rest of his drink and retreats into his thoughts.

“So much for playing it safe. Then again, what’s life without a few risks.”

[dead-thorin]

whew a lot has happened in the past few days yall

first and foremost, @allangelsgobyangharad saw that i was sad AND SHE SENT ME A BOOK AND SHE IS SUCH A GOOD EGG I LOVE HER it really cheered me up

so a dude broke my heart over the weekend and it literally wasnt his fault, i just had hopes that we could do a long distance thing and he didnt want to bc he felt like he was in a bad place in life to do it; it be like that.

I dont really decorate my room bc im kinda just like ‘well ill be moving in a year, why bother?’ but at target i bought some stuff (including a new shelf!) and some decorations and my room looks more lively and lived in now. I have a white board im using, a letter board that im gonna write positive messages for myself on (rn it says ‘keep going’), i changed my curtains to something less dark (theyre white with flowers on the bottom), a fake plant that looks realistic, and a wax warmer to diffuse lavender scent into my room (it smells damn amazing). My therapist was really proud of me for doing all this and im proud i did it too. Like being in the room gave me anxiety and made me sad and switching it around really helped me separate us being together and him leaving and me sleeping here and shit

i got myself a book about anxiety and meditation thats p funny (by dan harris) and im gonna read it tomorrow during lunch and maybe take some notes. Ive also been thinking about going back on medication so i think im gonna schedule an appointment tomorrow with the psych here and see what she thinks. itll suck but i think for rn its best bc ive been anxious for a while and until i can get my coping mechanisms down, ill need some extra help. therapist was also proud i was pro active in this

The process for top surgery is slow, but moving. The doctor faxed my letter over to the wrong department (bc the number was wrong on the website) so Im heading down there tomorrow and getting a physical copy. I called yesterday and she hadnt responded and thats the MO with this fucking office so I have to physically go there for it. It be like that. Also one of the students I work with goes to the city I wanna get surgery in and he said he was down to give me a ride there so im covered. 

I had lunch with a friend and we talked about like my future plans and i mentioned how i was just like... done with library science. Its a lot of things but like a lot of people went into the field bc theyre like “oh i like reading!” when thats not what this field is about. Or they dont actually want to serve the public the way libraries are supposed to (like allowing individuals experiencing homelessness to be in that space). And like the job market is hard and public librarianship doesnt offer that great benefits so im like nervous (I always have a problem of looking too far ahead in life tbh). Michelle has always told me I would do great in public health bc i have a wide skill range, Im p sociable and a people person, i love educating, im passionate about the topics i talk about, etc so like i might do another masters in public health and theres one program i saw that looks good and the university also offers remitted tuition so in theory i could work there and get my degree too. I also probably wouldnt need gres since id already have a masters degree. My therapist slightly roasted me for this and was like “Jordan... too far ahead..” and i was like I KNOW!!! God I always do that but yeah at least i have a plan and if anything I could probably be an academic librarian for a public health department at a university; well see where life takes me

anyway yeah i feel a lot better about things and i know that life goes on and that im 23 and young and shit and that its just hormones but it just really sucks. And like Michelle said maybe one day we would get together, its just not the right time but im so impatient smh (which she also roasted me for; lunch with her is like being slowly cooked at 425F for an hour but its amazing). And if its not meant to be, then its not meant to be and thats ok too