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#anyway its gone forever now
mxwhore · 1 year
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IM SUCH A dumbass
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confession time!!! can't wait for bt bones
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carcarrot · 6 days
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well the poll hasnt ended yet but im sorry once again to those of you that wanted me to be more responsible. im seeing those bitches again as close as i possibly can
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ikishima · 1 month
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i wish all sites that do not let you leave a comment or thumb up/down without logging in that also do not imply this anywhere in the comment/feedback section so that you are baited into making an account a very explode and die painfully forever
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scattered-winter · 3 months
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every day i kick a rock and bash my head into the wall because i'll never get to go on a big space adventure and become tightly close-knit with my new found family up there <//3
#re lrb..........#i mean realistically if i was in the voltron/quintenary stars universe chances are i would probably NOT be one of the people#going on the space adventure.#i'd be roped into the plot when the aliens invade and earth almost gets destroyed. spoilers for arc 2 btw sorry#but man. child soldierism aside i wish that were me so so so bad#sadly kicks a rock when will EYE have a deep and mystical connection with a giant ancient cat :(#its not even that i want to interact with the main cast bc i dont really i just. wanna be in their position man#i think one of the reasons why voltron grabbed me so hard (among MANY) is how badly i wanted to do what the main characters did#i remember when i was first watching it while it was coming out i would CONSISTENTLY daydream about being launched into space#with a handful of other people and having to fight a war and grow up far away from home and all the suffocating stuff that came with it#and then coming back years later already solidly knowing who i am and being confident in that#so i'd actually be brave enough to be unapologetic about it. and i'd be found family with the people i went to space with also#that parts important#idk man just. i dont like saying i was abused when i was younger because i really dont think it was like that and it isnt even close to#what how people who have really been abused have had to go through#but sometimes i really do wonder. like now that im (mostly) out and able to review everything with an outside perspective#not even getting into the cult survivorism stuff this is JUST family dynamics im talking about here#bc that shit is a whole other can of worms#i think my parents were genuinely doing the best they could with the cards they were dealt but. jesus christ.#i would have given ANYTHING to be able to run away from all that. and throw magic cats into the equation? brother im GONE#anyway this tags ramble has derailed in a MAJOR way. tldr i wanted to be a paladin sooooo fuckign bad bro#like it actually makes me SICK how much i want a lion. red you are my forever girl even if only in my heart <///3#i still do want to do all that out of principle but its not as desperate now i just really love space and really want a big kitty friend#winter speaks
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volfoss · 7 months
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the big and long miss yucky restoration post, part 1:
early february, i got a very damaged (what i thought was) ddh-10 (dollfie dream head, model 10) head from yahoo japan auctions. i had never seen a doll with such damage EVER and even though i hoped someone else may buy her (i did not want to pay the shipping fees), i ended up buying her. for your viewing pleasure, images of miss yucky at the start of this with explanations of what exactly is the damage (or what i thought the damage was at the time)
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[ID: Four images of a severely damaged doll head.
The first image is of the head facing straight forward. Her face is very unevenly colored. She has small patches of a darker and more yellow vinyl tone showing on her face, from the paler paint cracking away. Her face is very simple, with big eyes that have cartoonish eyelashes and a small smiling mouth. Noteably, her nose is barely there. She has many spots of dirt on her forehead. Her eyes are dark blue and round, with unsmoothed white clay above the iris.
The second image is inside the doll's head, showing the eyes being held in with hot glue, gray clay, and blue sticky putty. Her headcap is set to the side and the true more yellow vinyl color is visible on the rim of the head that is open.
The third image is her head at an angle that better shows the eyes. The eyes themselves have a weird bumpy texture on them and her face looks very shiny from this angle.
The fourth image is her head in profile, showing that her nose has been almost completely removed. The discoloration is more visible in this photo than the first, with patches of bright white along the head seam right beside dark patches where the paint appears to have been scratched away. In this picture, it is most clear where the headcap has been replaced from the original, as there is a lower seam running around her head, with the headcap being much smaller than it should be. /end ID]
Hopefully her nickname makes more sense now lol. More elaboration on the issues and her process to looking a lot better under the cut, because it is long :)
As for the issues, I assumed it was either a sealant issue or just something mysteriously wrong that was causing the sheen (once I got her in the mail, I began to assume that it was all the plasticizer leaking out of her head, leaving it rock hard). Plasticizer is what keeps vinyl (which is what her head is made of) squishy, and when it leaks out, it leaves a sticky residue on the vinyl, a lot of sheen to it, and most importantly, when it is all leaked out, it leaves the head hard. Her head was as hard of a rock (or as hard as my resin dolls) and that was the only thing that made sense. It couldn't be age, as at the time, I believed she was a DDH-10, which had only begun production around 2016 (and most of the heads that had hardened over age were at least 5-10 years older than that).
Her eyes were stuck in in some mysterious way. The white on the top being not smooth threw me off, as I couldn't tell if it was supposed to be clay or just something to stick the eyes in. I hadn't really seen white sticky putty used on eyes super often but it is something that was used. The other obvious issue is the modding. At the time, I fully believed she was a DDH-10, so was shocked at all the modding that had been done to her. Her eyes had been widened, nose completely sanded away, chin seemingly sanded a bit, and her head cap was from (what i thought was) a different company. We will return to the true ID of miss yucky shortly.
Once I got her, I became aware of a few more issues:
She was INCREDIBLY sticky when I touched her face. This is not normal with vinyl dolls, and I could really only pray it was a sealant issue (as the most popular sealant in the BJD hobby, MSC, can seal glossy if it's used improperly (I've had the same issue when spraying it too close to the face or in too cold of weather)). The shininess was far worse in person as well.
The aforementioned head as hard as a rock. For people unfamiliar with vinyl heads, this specific type of doll has a headcap (which is the thing that you can kind of see is ill fitting in the original photos) that you are supposed to be able to squeeze the head to remove. These kinds of heads are VERY squishy. For example, my other vinyl doll, Beatrix, has a head so soft that I can easily remove the headcap with little effort (it's about the squishy levels of a Monster High head if that helps). At this point, I was very worried I would be completely unable to remove her headcap. But since the listing photos had had it removed, I was moderately hopeful
Her eyes were in odder shape than I thought. Prior to getting her, i had assumed her eyes were the ones you see in an average stuffed animal, just simple ones you sew in. With her modded eyes, it was pretty clear that she would need some kind of custom eyes, so this had made sense to me, that someone would have gotten those eyes and popped some clay around them. But upon getting her, I saw that they were custom eyes that were usually made for these kind of anime BJDs (term used loosely but most vinyl bjds like this have stylings closer to anime artstyles rather than the realistic ones that resin bjds have) and had some weird residue on them.
Her eyewells (the bit of vinyl between her eye and eyeball, where your waterline would be if she was a human) were much deeper than expected, which was why her eyes looked so deep and far back. Most of my resin dolls have similar issues due to that being how the company sculpts them so I wasn't too worried about that as much as I probably should have been lol
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[ID: Two pictures of the same doll head.
The first picture is from an upwards angle and shows that she has a somewhat thick line of vinyl between her bottom eyelashes and her eyeball itself. She is being held by a pale hand and the photo is under harsh lighting.
The second picture is facing from the front and is being held by a pale hand. She is noteably very shiny and is about the size of the person's palm. /end ID]
You can see here the way the vinyl is thicker under the eye than it should have been in this case. The second picture is there because she was MUCH bigger than I anticipated, about the same size as Beatrix's head. Quick explanation on why this is odd: The DDH-10 sculpt is meant for 1/4 or MDD scale bodies (BJDs have different scales, all compared to the human body. 1/4 scale dolls are less than 2 ft tall, or on average, 45 cm tall. MDD is the type of body that the company that produces the DDH-10 that is made for the 1/4 scale), but the DDH-03 (the head model Beatrix has) is meant for 1/3 scale (on average around 60 cm or around 2 ft). Everywhere online had said that 10 head model was smaller but I didn't think much of it at the time.
The day that she had arrived, I had made a post on a big BJD forum, as a sort of project journal as I worked on her. The members were IMMENSELY helpful and the hunt for her true identity had begun. A few members were convinced she wasn't a DDH-10, but to me, I really was convinced she was, as she had been listed as such, had arrived in a box for that head type, and the way that she could have been modified made a lot of sense to me with that sculpt. This was not the case, as she ended up getting id'd as an Obitsu 60 cm girl head. I'm including this for a reason (and not just because I wanted to do a big post writing up the specifics of my journey fixing her)
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[ID: A blank doll head. It has the same smile and nose of the doll head shown in the photos prior, but noteably does not have any eyeholes carved in. Her vinyl color is much warmer and closer to a typical peachy tone than the very pale paint covering the prior shown doll head. /end ID]
This photo is taken from an old Mandarake listing, as one of the forum members had linked me to it. The most noteable thing here, is that unlike the head I have, the eyes are meant to be painted on (much like a Monster High head). Which means the customizer before me had hand carved these eyes (and somehow got them as even as they did). Other good news with this- the body I wanted to put her on was an Obitsu body, so somehow, they matched perfectly (each vinyl BJD company has different skintones, so I was not expecting that much of luck).
Her ID aside, let's dive into the restoration! I had to give a bit of backstory before we got into the good stuff lol
First step was getting her headcap off, as I wanted to remove her eyes before cleaning her face, just to not cause more damage to them than what had already happened to them (at this point, I did not know why the eyes looked like that). Thankfully, a hair dryer was able to heat the headcap and get it loose enough that I could pop the headcap off and get my first look inside her head.
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[ID: A closeup of the inside of the doll head. There are thick globs of hot glue holding the gray clay in, a mysterious clear shape that is the back of the eye, and blue sticky tack holding it all up. /end ID]
Getting a better look at it, I just decided to dive in and start prying the hot glue off. Once I did that, it revealed that the gray clay was in fact Apoxie Sculpt (which dries VERY hard when its cured all the way. This was the worst case scenario, as I did not want to deal with removing that) and that one of the eyes came out all the way.
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[ID: A closeup of the doll eye out of the head. It is surrounded by white clay on the top, with some of the Apoxie sculpt on the top. Above the doll eye, there is a piece of Apoxie sculpt that has browned and has some of the blue sticky tack on top. Two pieces of the hot glue are below the eye and the head is off to the side. /end ID]
I was SO relieved to see it was coming out, but the other eye did not come out as easily sadly. There was still a big chunk of clay that was presumably used to hold the eye in. I have no idea why the eye mechanism was like this at all to be honest. That clay was NOT coming out at all, so I moved to get her cleaned up.
At this point, I had noticed some black spots inside of the head. I was praying it was not mold because that would be nigh impossible to get cleaned up (given I could not just do what you do with MLP and heat the vinyl up and squish the mold out with using Oxi-Clean. Her head was too hard for me to do that). I had also been hit with an overwhelming "new vinyl" smell, which was another sign of the plasticizer being completely gone/leaking slightly, so I was pretty sure that was the case.
I cleaned her up with warm soapy water, but it didn't really get anything off. My next step was to remove the faceup with acetone, which is a little stronger than what most people use to remove faceups but I am very careful with it so please do not try using it unless you are cautious as well. I needed something strong to really get the layers of paint off. With how many dolls I've removed full body/full head paint off of, I have the method down pretty well (a short list of painted dolls I have had to deal with: my own Cordula head, as her head is bright white and needed to match her yellowed body; the body I have for my big guy (which was just a LOT of blue paint); Clarimonde's body (which was painted mostly to hide the top surgery scars from the modification but I wanted to remove the paint)). It came off pretty smoothly, and was revealing a gorgeously yellowed vinyl underneath. Quick clarification here, most people do NOT like their dolls yellowed. I do because it's easier to blush and work on because it is not stark white and I feel it makes the skin look a bit better for the most part (most of my dolls are yellowed but maybe 2 of them). She had some minor staining around her eyes and mouth but nothing compared to what I expected.
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[ID: The aforementioned doll head, now much closer in tone to the listing photo. Her face is all cleaned up and her headcap is resting besides her. There are some faint stains by the eyes left from the eyelashes but she is otherwise completely cleaned and is blank. /end ID]
The difference was stark, as she looked much better with all the discolored paint removed. What I had worried was mold was just paint from the faceup and came off completely with no worries (I am convinced I kept lucking out with her because she was thankful to be cleaned up and taken care of).
I had, weirdly enough, been very worried that she would lose all of her charm and cuteness with no faceup, but she did not. Now that I had cleaned her up, I could return to the to do list. With no faceup, it was clear her eyes were slightly uneven, and the modding had left some scratches inside of the head that i wanted to clean up (namely because I felt bad for her for having to have those inside her head). Her nose was something that I definitely wanted to resculpt (which was partially why I wanted to get this doll, she was a big project and an excuse to learn skills that I had been too scared to learn prior to this, sculpting being one of them), but the shape was something I was super uncertain of. She would need custom eyes that were made to fit only her eye shape (her eyes are carved very low on her face in comparison to the original, so normal round BJD eyes would not fit properly) and I would want to make her a wig. I also needed to get her on the body in a specific way modification wise, which will be something we will cover in a later post (as I have not done it yet lol).
Starting with the eyes, I started to work on getting the chunk of clay out of the head. I was immensely glad I had gotten a dremel to help restore my big boy (if you remember me posting images of getting the clay on a chest piece sanded down, that is the same doll) as I had to pretty much sand away at the clay for about an hour or more. Eventually I just gave up and pried it out of the head with a small sanding tool (as sanding it down was just not working too well and it was kind of my last resort). I sanded the inside of her head and outside of it, but neither of these differences show up a lot on camera, so I won't be including images. I sanded the outside of her head to get a few of the areas that were stained a bit to be a tiny bit less stained, as well as wanting a fully clean and sanded surface before I started sculpting.
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[ID: Two pictures showing the inside of the dolls head. The first one has a large chunk of white clay visible under the right eye and the second shows the same spot with no clay, as it has been removed. /end ID]
You can see how big of a hunk of clay it was! It was BAD lol. I got through maybe 3 long youtube videos while getting this thing out.
The eyeballs themselves turned out to be made of resin, and thanks to one of the members suggestion on the forum, I cleaned them with acetone. They believed it was just sealant sprayed while the eyes were still in, and the acetone cleaned them up beautifully. They were still not the right fit for miss yucky, but I was very relieved to see that they cleaned up okay.
This photo was before cleaning them up, as I was so confused what could have even been going on here and needed to get advice.
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[ID: The eye close up. There is an almost foggy texture over it that obscures the colors a bit. They are a dark blue. The surface is very bumpy and there are some remnants of the white clay that surrounded them still attached. /end ID]
And this photo shows them cleaned up! The left one has been cleaned and the right has not.
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[ID: The two eyes laying flat on a gray countertop. The left one is still moderately foggy but is much much clearer than the one to the right. There is a slight gradient in the iris and a small light blue highlight towards the bottom. The right eye is much foggier and is still very bumpy. /end ID]
As for the nose, I was originally planning on doing a larger nose (at least for an anime doll. Closer to what a Dollfie Dream Alna looks like versus the typical very skinny pointed nose) but the more I looked at her, the more I felt she resembled Pinoko from Black Jack. The eye shape, nose shape, and mouth shape (as well as how the eyelashes were painted) felt near identical, so I took inspiration from how Tezuka drew her nose when I was sculpting. I wanted it to flow into the rest of the profile naturally (that does not make much sense but it will once I show the pictures, or so I hope). I didn't want to do a super big difference with her nose, and stick to the original aesthetic as much as I could (which was my goal for most of this project, stick to the original but make it look a bit less "haunted doll" (as one forum member described her)).
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[ID: Pinoko from Black Jack. She looks surprised or startled in the photo. She is a pale young girl with a orange-brown bob with bangs, wide brown eyes, a small round nose and a round face. She is wearing a blue shirt. /end ID] (This photo is from the All of Black Jack artbook if anyone is curious)
^Pinoko for reference. I hope the similarities are clear to see! I took some "pre-op" photos of miss yucky (she still does not have a name) and then got to work with some superfine white milliput.
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[ID: Images of the blank head from the front and both sides. The first three photos show what the head looked like before the nose, and the second three photos show what she looks like with the nose. The nose is a very stark white compared to the rest of the head and is fairly small. It is upturned and has a slightly rounded tip. It flows into the rest of the profile smoothly, causing it to look very natural from the side. /end ID]
I was not perfectly happy with the nose but it was pretty close to what I had wanted, and I hoped that painting would just fix my issues. It is hard to see here but her eyeholes are also more evened out, although it is a VERY small difference.
The next step was a faceup, which was admittedly very scary. I got nail brushes to help get the fine lines a bit better than what I could do with my usual brushes (my hands are IMMENSELY shaky and have not wanted to cooperate at all during this project, thus the faceup has taken forever because I want to get it right) and wanted to pretty much just redo the previous faceup but with eyebrows and not the scariest skintone situation known to man.
For some context here - normally with faceups, you start with using chalk pastels to shade the head, then go in with watercolor pencils to get the lines, and then do acrylic paint last before doing the final sealing and glossing areas that need to be glossed. I normally follow this to a T, you can see that in my past faceups, I do most of the blushing and the eyeshadow colors first, then go through the rest of the steps.
This was not the case with this head, as I started off with trying to sketch her eyelashes with a watercolor pencil (this did NOT want to cooperate with her head texture/sealant texture) and then eventually just gave up and went in with watercolor paints on a brush. This was ALSO a pain (she wanted to be so so evil to me during this step I think lol) so I just went in with acrylics before doing anything else on the head. Her faceup was going to be mostly acrylics (minus the blushing on the cheeks) as I wanted to keep a similar look to how Tezuka paints Pinoko (he was a very big inspiration during this project, and is why I am doing certain steps, such as the nose and eyes (when I get there) the way I am) and keep the head's cartoonish and cute appearance. The eyelashes were the worst part of it, as I wanted to keep them symmetrical or as much as I could, but it was very hard. I got through the faceup immensely slowly, but to be fair, I was working on another faceup as I did hers (as I wanted to redo both of my anime style heads).
The eyebrows were OBJECTIVELY the worst part of this faceup though, as even in the mockup, I really struggled to paint ones that I felt suited her. At this point, I was really empathizing with the previous faceup artist as with her eyeshape, good eyebrows were hard to do. My other struggle was matching the nose to the vinyl. I am normally somewhat decent with color matching (again, doing Cordula's faceup around 3 times and having to color match the head to the body with paint each time helped here), but this was just very rough, as even with sanding, I felt the nose didn't blend into the face the way I wanted it to. The color was off and I couldn't figure out exactly HOW which was a very big pain. Admittedly, in lower lighting, the nose mod looks GREAT but up close with harsh lighting (which is how I do my faceups), it looked pretty rough. I'm not done with the faceup just yet, so I'm really including a few WIP pics, as I will be tossing the finished faceup pics in when I make the part 2 of this post :)
First off, the nose painted pics:
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[ID: The head, now with the sculpted nose that is painted over, on a messy desk. The first image is in harsh lighting and the line where the nose mod begins and the vinyl head is more apparent. The second image is in darker and warmer lighting, and the mod looks more natural. The third image is under the same harsh lighting and shows the head tilted on its back, showing the side view of the nose that is painted. This angle makes it look better than in the first image. The paint is nearly perfect color matched but is slightly off. /end ID]
For my very first attempt doing a mod like this, I was very pleased with how it looked. Milliput is NOT as bad to work with as I anticipated and with the paint, the nose looked pretty natural. It definitely encouraged me to want to work with it more in the future, which is good (as I need to go back and fix Aca's top surgery a bit lol, as I was too scared to do the sculpting at first for him, but now I feel moderately confident about it). It was pretty fun to sculpt it but the painting was a bit of a pain since it was just off in a way that I couldn't put my finger on.
Next up, the most recent WIP
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[ID: A closeup of the head, with the same cartoonish lashes painted on in black that she had before. The lashes are incomplete, with the left eye being painted partially with dark brown paint and the right in black paint. Both eyes have the bottom lashes fully painted in black and faint brown pencil marks serve as guides to place the lashes. The right eye has the first two eyelashes painted in black, whereas the left only has the pencil marks. She is very faintly blushed with a light pink on her cheeks. Another doll head in the process of being painted is in the background of the photo, mostly out of shot. /end ID]
I did dark brown paint first, in hopes that I could just outline it first and then do the blushing I needed to, but the stupid paint was NOT going on solid. So i had to jump right into the black paint and pray for the best. The best thing about acrylic paint is you can wipe it off with water easily. The faceup has been taking days, not just because of my chronic pain flaring up and making it hard to move my hands in a way that would work to make these eyelashes right, but because I am doing one lash at a time. This makes sure that my prior work isn't erased if I need to redo a lash but it makes it take a lot more time. I did this for both the heads I was working on, as they both are very fine motor skill required and I needed to get them perfect. The nose mod is also a bit more visible here, it really looks good in certain lighting and bad in others which makes it frustrating lol.
That's all for this VERY long post, ty if you have made it this far! The next post will hopefully be including progress on:
The faceup (hopefully done lol)
Eye making (this will be a VERY miserable time for me I fear)
The way I'm working with my personal modifications to the body to get the head to fit on there
Wig making/styling a wig I have to be her temp wig
And as a little bonus treat, her with Beatrix before I got her cleaned up :)
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[ID: A pale vinyl BJD with an orange wig holding the project head. The doll holding the head has green eyes, and a very orange toned faceup. She is sitting on a white shelf and is wearing a white turtlenck and a striped yellow and white skirt. Their heads are around the same size. The project head has had no work done on her in this photo, so the contrast between the heads appearances in this photo is quite stark. /end ID]
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lesbiangiratina · 1 year
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Not very fond of people like waving off testament’s gender as just a Gear Thing but well at least it becomes funny when people apply it to gears as a whole. Like yeah i can agree with that. It has nothing to do with being a gear tho theyre all just transgender
#okay ill talk about it seriously down here#it does feel like the original intent behind their androgyny was to kind of Other them from humanity#daisuke saying theyve transcended humanity / talking about their ‘inhuman beauty’#i dont want to call it dehumanizing since theres like. a weird positive (…i guess) angle of them being ‘above’ humanity#thats just kind of a trope though. like nonhuman characters without a human concept of gender or sexuality. yknow#but anyway strive didnt really go back on this. they kinda made it a part of their arc?#i think dev backyard says that theyve ‘lived without the concept of gender’ since being turned into a gear#but theres no disconnect from humanity that goes along with that anymore#i like the implication that reconciling with humanity and more importantly their OWN humanity coincided with their presumable transition!#alright now for the part of this i dont like. its weird to assume the gear conversion had some effect on their body and THATS why theyre nb#i think any implications of that are vague enough to be dismissed#i wouldnt even call them Implications its like. messy (and contradictory!) early 2000s phrasing and a theory about 1 line of dialogue lol#early fandom stuff im aware of but dont know enough to talk about aside. nowadays its just used to like#excuse their androgyny. by gamers who cant just. believe that theyre nonbinary because they want to be. lol#not because of anything that was done to their body against their will. or even more simply because theyre just a gear and are Above gender#literally theyre just nonbinary. isnt that cool. i wish everyone could agree this is cool and end the discussion there.#except for me. i can discuss it all i want forever. because im the understander.#whatever. at least the section of testament’s wiki page theorizing about their genitalia is gone now. kissaroo for whoever took that off.#I NEED TO WRITE UP THAT TIMELINE IM LITERALLY NOT KIDDING WHEN I SAY IM AUTISTIC ABOUT TESTAMENT’S GENDER. CLEARLY#the kat goes meow#gg
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waywardsalt · 2 months
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deciding (and realizing based on the way i write and think abt it) that no matter what bellum is not making it out of swabbie rank. he’s put at the lowest rank of whatever hierarchy linebeck decides to adhere to no matter what, no matter the au. bellum can be practically a stowaway or romantically involved with the captain but he is swabbie while link made it to first mate in a handful of months and while being like twelve. bellum gets the mop. to humble him.
#only fair that the minor demonic god is swabbie. cant give him too much. tags are a mess on this one btw#anyways secret criteria for being first mate is autism. you gotta be autistic to have actual authority on that ship#…..link would have some flavor of authority in post ph then. i need to thinm on that#salty talks#fuck uhhhh#post-ph#bellum#forgot what i was talkjg abt with this tbh. like what the context was#i know i was thinking abt how linebeck always refers to human bellum as a swabbie or some other low rank in the shipfic#GOD im sl fucking bad a mobilee typing normally i fix typos n shit and im sojng some ln the fly but twice now ive typo’d and instead#writtien ‘fuck’ instead if some other word. also im tired ig but god i hate typing on mobile so fuckint much#<- longest ive gone without bothering much to fix typos. hate it here (on my phone) anyways. i cant remembee the wider context to this#idk what rank damien would technically be. he helps with repairs and technically everyone does swabbie stuff#tbh with how linebecks ship is being swabbie probably isnt too bad aith how ive figured hes extremely loose with it n does everything#i thinm i wanted to say smth ph related and came up with this#the mobile typos frustrate me so bad rn its exacerbated by. something. but i kinda fucking hate it its not really funny or anything#also the mess of accidentally hitting the nimbers button and switching the keyboard. god. lol#anyways. squid on swabbie duty for forever sucks to suck man shouldnt have killed all those people. whatever
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oneroomjestershow · 8 months
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JASGGKJGSDFJH
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moreclaypigeons · 1 year
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I am soooo bad at transitional times of life. High school graduation ? More like, fuck,
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toastsnaffler · 2 months
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anyway yeah relevant to that post abt being deaf/hoh and ppl excluding u from conversation bc of it (even unintentionally), that's smth that's been really deeply bothering me lately bc there are a few ppl I routinely have to deal with who do it a lot and it Pisses Me The Fuck Off I've lost all patience w them. giving up and calling it ableism and walking out idc anymore 🚶‍♂️
#theres a guy at work whos incredibly annoying for it but tbh hes bad at his job in general anyway n everyones annoyed at him all the time#so at least i get some solidarity from my other coworkers (who are generally rly accommodating of my deafness)#i dunno how he hasnt got the memo ive explained im deaf so he needs to face me n make sure he has my attention n enunciate multiple times#but nope still not getting thru to him! so half the time if he starts mumbling i just pointedly ignore him until he either speaks more#clearly or goes away lmao#and same with a friend of a friend im sure hes a nice guy and everyone else seems to like him n hes in our main discord server so i cant#avoid him as easily and ive been so tolerant of it but hes worn thru my patience entirely and idc abt trying to be nice anymore#if he comes on call and starts mumbling and sidelining me from the conversation i just put him on mute im not dealing with that anymore#i dont fucking care if its petty and rude to do that. im tired of trying to understand him and dealing with how left out he makes me feel#i hope he picks up on the hostility n feels unwanted so maybe then he'll understand what its like for me and fix his behaviour 👍#bc i have no other way of communicating that with him anymore. since I CANT FUCKING HEAR HIM!!!!!#he also has a lot of other annoying behaviour which is fine but this is my limit its so disrespectful and outside of my control#make space for my disability or go away forever#not sure if we could even be friends if he did change now bc hes soured my impression of him so much by this point.#sad! well theres other guys#im glad everyone ive met at climbing so far has been pretty good abt it. really not that hard to do!#anyway rant over lol. at least the guy at work is only on a temp contract so only have to deal w him for a few more months#unfortunately since the rest of that group is friends w this other guy he'll prolly be around longer. but oh well lmao#just crossing my fingers he'll drift away n never open discord again so ill never have to deal w his shitty crackly mic mumbling#or maybe he'll stop fucking calling from whatever wind tunnel hes in and properly join in on our movie nights instead!!!!!#it is sad bc i think he has similar music taste to me. there are def some things we have in common that could form a basis for friendship#but hes gone n ruined it innit#aaaanyway oops started complaining again... the bitch grind never ends#im gonna shower n go back to elden ringing it.... fare thee well#.diaries
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they spend like half of watching and dreaming establishing how the collector doesn't understand the concept of death and injury for mortals because he is so powerful that he doesnt need to worry about that for himself. and also they have never connected with mortals enough to understand that via extrapolation. so they set that up entirely for the collector to finally understand the gravity of death when he befriends luz and she dies right in front of him. but then like one anime battle later they meet up with luz again and luz is like "ya ik i died lol but the titan who was also dead fixed me back up and im fine dw about it"
#shut up pandora#the owl house#luz noceda#the collector#watching and dreaming#i understand the concept of getting the collector to understand death and i think its interesting to explore#however even if the show had more time to do it this is ultimately a disney show#and any character loveable enough to befriend the collector#would also be a character that disney s&p would not allow the creators to permakill#and luz being the main character gives her a reason to connect with the collector and fill that role#but luz DEFINITELY cant be permakilled by reason of good storytelling#so this concept specifically in the context of a disney show is really fucking hard to explore imo#like yeah! luz's death was pretty heartwrenching especially everyones reactions afterwards#but what was the collector supposed to walk away with afterwards with regards to that specific topic?#'yeah death is permanent if someone dies youll never see them again and all the potential you had to connect with them is gone forever'#'oh but not luz specifically she died and came back the titan fixed her up'#'also the titan whos been dead for eons was actually just chilling the whole time and luz had a lovely conversation with them'#granted the titan is gone now but thats more related to luzs baggage#and if the collector does learn about the permanence of death from it it would be after the shows over which i think is cheap#anyway that just. wasnt a topic that could be explored well in a disney show with the main characters imo#and i feel like they should have just gone with the 'the collector parallels king in that they need to consider ppls feelings' route#but like. a lot more drastic than kings character arc due to the collector being a demigod or smth#again. this isnt something i think they could have adequately explored with a protagonist even with a full 3 seasons#the closest the show comes to exploring this is with belos and his brother#how belos killed caleb and destroyed any potential they had of making up or just any of calebs future in general#but he still keeps making grimwalkers bc he cant accept that and it works bc caleb is not involved in the plot at all#so we can understand the tragedy without having a character that is involved in the story himself and therefore subjected to disney#but with luz its real hard to fridge her for the collectors character development lol bc shes got other stuff going on#shes the main character. you cant kill the main character for someone else's character development in a show like this
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autistic-ranpo · 2 years
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if i had any talent or brainpower i would write a fic where the reason that richie seems to be the only one upset over eddies death is that once they left neibolt their memories of eddie died along with him and as time goes on richie is the only one to remember anything but even those start to get fuzzy. he freaks out when he realized he cant even remember what eddie looked like. eventually, the memories fade, leaving only a ghost of how richie felt for him. theres not a voice, a face, or even a name he can put to these feelings. his heart aches for someone he cant remember knowing.
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brw · 6 months
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being cringe is so liberating.
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verytendou · 6 months
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about to trauma dump to the ac*u and hope i get the job wish me luck
#theyre so funny for this question like what did they expect the response to be LOLLL#i know they had to change things to not get sued but like damn yall know this is just an excuse for me to trauma dump now#like lmfaaaaoooooo#anyways if i get this done in the next hour it will literally be the [TRAGIC-task youve put off for 2 months only took 15 minutes!]#meme all over again and that will just kill me bc i did put it off for an extra 10 hours today again#anyways i would like to be paid 30 bucks an hour so pleaseeeeeeeeeee hire me pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee#if not this its back to the motherland boys so get ready for a 3 hour time difference IM GONE FOREVER SOON#v.txt#literally so excited to graduate and leave for at minimum a year and be literally anywhere but here college is a lie friends#and dont do it unless you are 5345245u34% sure you want to bc i do feel like i have been scammed#I SHOULDVE DONE A TRADE!!!!!!#anyways hears hoping i get this job and find a different way to spend time in peru bc regardless i do miss it there#none of u understand the intricacies of being able to get pollo la brasa or ceviche whenever i want..... without my mom having to make it#none of u understand the intracacies of coming back from the MOTHER-motherland and having the capital police stop ur bus#anyways as per usual if your motherland isnt at least a level 4 DNT for us citizens dont even bother talking to me about it#HAVING YOUR DNI IN YOUR BACK POCKET AT ALL TIME-RS MAKE SOME NOISEEEEEEEE#realiziing i spent here's wrong earlier and i hope you know it haunts me but i wont change it so we'll all have to deal
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martynsimp69 · 1 year
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Hello there martynsimp69 I hope you’re alive after the Events
im coping <- this is a lie
#limlife spoilers#limited life finale#limited life finale spoilers#limited life spoilers#ask#anon#i stood in the kitchen watching eggs boil on the stove thinking about a scenario where martyn ends up trapped in the end of limlife#no ghosts. nothing to strike him down. the timer paused indefinitely. forever stuck with the time he stole#extra hours and minutes sitting heavy in his chest stretching out impossibly long#i thought about so long spent alone in a server frozen in time that he dives down deep#because the sun stopped moving. the timer is paused and everything else is too. nothing new spawns and he's killed all the mobs#and its always daylight and hes sick of it. hes sick. so he dives#dives until the sea is dark and heavy and cool around him like twilight. and maybe down there when his lungs start to burn--#--the kelp and coral start to look like reaching hands. and maybe theres something about forever carrying someone'e stolen time that--#--starts to feel like hauling around a body. because thats all thats left of them isn't it? thats all there is. their corpses are gone.#keepinventory is something that can be so personal. or impersonal as it were bc unless you were skizz u took everything with u when u died#theres nothing to remember the dead by#except their time. and martyn's timer won't budge anymore. so he supposes he's carrying whatever little is left of them#barely an hour. all that's left of scott is 30 minutes of an hour that refuses to end. he'd wanted that time so bad. he's so sick of it now#anyways. the point of this was supposed to be something about martyn hallucinating scott at the bottom of the ocean and nearly drowning#this is the second au where ive drowned martyn. the first one came to me in a dream. sorry idk whats going on there#i severely lost the plot of these tags my ramen is getting cold#other notable events of the day is martyn answering an ask about his martitties. im coping with that badly as well
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