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evanbuckleyrecs · 22 days

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Buddie AUs over 20k

To catch up on recommending fics in my bookmarks, I'll also try to make some lists instead of posting one fic per post. Though some fics might also still get their own posts even while added in a list.

To start, here are some finished Buddie AUs with more than 20k words

(I made this list in March so it doesn't have any newer fics. Soon I want to spend a day dedicated to catching up to new fics and adding posts to my queue here)

what if you're someone I just want around by ReallySmartLadyMarieCurie

20k, Rated T

"Eddie pauses in his typing, glancing at Buck and trying to figure him out. He seems so eager to help and to please, so willing to take some of the burden in order to make others happy. It’s the sort of presence that Eddie’s been craving in his life. One that he’s missed since Shannon’s fatal accident. And he’s incredibly handsome. He’s got conventional good looks and a beautiful smile, but that pink little splotch above his eye, which Eddie guesses is a birthmark, is really what brings it home."

Or, Eddie Diaz is a successful boxer who's been making a big name for himself in recent years. Buck is a fan, but he certainly never expected to end up at Eddie's house after the man calls 9-1-1 when his son gets sick.

I love the way you spoil me, baby by rosebuddiekin

33,8K, rated E

“I, uh, I was actually at that coffee shop to meet with someone else. You see, for the past few years, I’ve been a sugar daddy on a site that connects people looking for similar things. I was supposed to meet with a prospective baby that day, but then I saw you. And I felt drawn to you, so I messaged the guy I was supposed to be seeing and told him I had to cancel. I just, I thought you should know. That I should be upfront about it from the start.”

Eddie’s fork drops to his plate, making a small clatter. He can feel that his mouth is agape. He’s very glad he hadn’t taken another bite or sip of anything while Buck spoke. Because what the actual fuck? Buck… is a sugar daddy.

OR: Buck is a sugar daddy who wants to spoil Eddie rotten and take care of everything for him. Eddie has never had that sort of relationship but is willing to give it a try. There is plenty of adventure along the way.

Sunny skies & summer high by prettyboybuckley

Sequel to a one shot, 43,8K, rated E

 "Well, I kind of want to kiss you right now but that's usually something that happens at the end of a first date, right?" Buck asks, doing a weird movement with his eyebrows in an attempt to be funny.

Eddie chuckles, wrinkling his nose a little.

"I guess, yeah," he mutters. "Think we're doing this a little backward already anyway, so are there any rules to follow?"

He's got a point there, and even then Buck has never really been the kind of guy who follows rules, so he ends up leaning over the center console as he uses one hand to pull Eddie's face towards him. It's a short kiss, a simple peck hello that Eddie chases after when Buck pulls away again.

OR: Buck and Eddie sneak around behind Eddie’s family’s back, spend the summer together, smoke a lot of weed, and fall in love along the way

Kiss me before It's over (if only for a minute) by Bob_loblaws_lawblog

54,2K, Rated E

Evan Buckley is living out his childhood dream as the star hitter for the Philadelphia Phillies. He’s climbing the ranks, improving his stats with every single game – he’s unstoppable.

That is, until the Los Angeles Angels get a new pitcher seemingly out of nowhere. Known for his strong arm and tricky curve balls, Eddie Diaz is one of the few pitchers in the nation who consistently makes Buck strike out, and its infuriating. Even from the sixty feet that separate them between the batter’s box and the pitcher’s mound, the weight of Diaz’s gaze is enough to make Buck’s blood boil.

Because Buck doesn’t get nervous on game day, he never feels calmer than when he steps up to the plate with the bat in his hand – it’s where he belongs. But when he sees Eddie Diaz standing on that mound, his stomach flips and nerves spark across his skin.

Because if there is one thing Buck knows for sure, it is that he hates Eddie Diaz.

… Until he doesn’t.

Traded by princessfbi

23,7K, rated M

Really, it was Lena’s fault. She’d been the one to demand a video when Eddie had finally caved and sent an SOS to the group chat asking if anyone was willing to trade.

“Is anyone interested in trading jerseys with me? Preferably for a smaller size,” Eddie had said because knowing his coworkers, one of them would’ve been a smart ass and gave him an even bigger size. “I ordered an XL because I’m usually a XL but… the way it fits makes me look like I’m fucking one of the players.”

Eddie wasn't trying to go viral. He just wanted to trade his jersey. But then something called Booktok got involved.

Bartender!Eddie Diaz x Hockey Player!Evan Buckley

Snowed Inn by brewrosemilk

31,1K, rated M

Rivaling for a promotion, journalists Evan Buckley and Eddie Diaz get sent to a small town where they are each to write a piece on a once illustrious inn and its rich history. For two talented and overconfident authors, it sounds like an easy assignment - but in between a violent snowstorm, blocked roads, heated stares, and a struggling inn, Buck and Eddie may just have to abandon their rivalry and accept each other as partners.

Don't play games (come my way) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels

43,1K, Rated E

Buck hates Eddie Diaz.

Ever since his publishing company and Eddie's merged, the man has been nothing but a pain in Buck's ass. The way he nitpicks all of Buck's company emails, the way he spends half his day bickering with Buck, the way he makes Buck's stomach flip and the way he's started haunting Buck's dreams... yeah, it's one hundred percent hate. Definitely. Buck's sure of it.

Because what the hell else could it be?

Falling slowly; sing your melody (I'll sing it loud) by princessfbi

55,3K, Rated E

Buck didn’t like him at first.

Eddie Diaz was all hard lines and strict rules with a bone structure that could cut through glass and scared away his fans. Which... if you asked Bobby, was the point but still!

He also yelled at Buck which was fine. It’s not like it hurt his feelings.

It didn’t.

It didn’t, Maddie!

It also definitely didn’t turn Buck on either. Nope.

Stop it, Maddie!

After a traumatizing home invasion, Bobby Nash decides to hire a bodyguard for his lead singer.

Musician!Buck Bodyguard!Eddie

More fics to be recommended soon!

#911 #buddie #911 on abc #buddie fanfic rec #buddie fanfiction #rated m #rated e #20k+#alternate universe #buddie recommendations #buddie au #911 abc #911 fanfiction

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hippolotamus · 4 months

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Eddie’s thumb hovers over the location dropdown in the weather app, just like every day. And just like all those other days he allows himself to click it. The list unfolds as he huffs a humorless chuckle at how much it’s grown.

When he got his first cell, the only place he ever needed was current location. Technically, it’s still the only one he needs. Regardless he’s continued adding to it through the years. Hershey, Virginia Beach, a couple random towns in the Carolinas, Georgia and Florida. Fucking Sundance, Wyoming. All because he gave up pretending he doesn’t need to know.

It’s sunny, mid-50s today. A nice break for the time of year. Eddie scrolls through the upcoming week, noting a heavy snowstorm hitting in a few days. His nose wrinkles and he begins to worry his bottom lip between his teeth. Another thing born out of pure habit.

Not for the first time he types out a few messages before deleting them again. Eddie doesn’t even know if he’s got the right number. It’s been nearly three years since they exchanged anything at all. Not since Eddie could have manned up and told Shannon he could be a father, but not a husband. Not her husband, anyway.

He could have just been honest and said what he wanted when she finally decided to show up in her second trimester. He and Evan could have continued building a life together. But Eddie’s never claimed to be smart. Especially when it comes to all the bullshit his own dad drilled into his head about responsibility and honor and god knows what the fuck else. In the end it was too sticky to let go, trapping him like a spider web.

He can’t even say it was worth it because she loves him and they’re making it work for the sake of Christopher. Because why would that have happened? Instead all he got was a tour in Afghanistan, divorce papers (not that he’s surprised or blames her at all) and coming back to an empty house. Well, not totally empty. He’s got a son he’s still getting to know outside of a screen and shitty internet connection. A son he could have been raising with the love of his life this whole time.

Hope your coat’s warm enough, cowboy he types.

“Daddy!” Chris babbles from the floor, using Eddie’s pant leg to pull himself to standing. His toothy smile is on full display while he looks up at Eddie like he hung the goddamn moon and stars.

“Hey there little man.” Eddie tosses his phone to the side in favor of picking up his son and arranging him on his lap. Chris snatches up the yellow car from the next couch cushion, choosing to run it in a small loop over Eddie’s forearm, shoulder and chest. “Where are you off to today? Big race?”

Chris shakes his head vigorously. “Outer space,” he says as though that should have been obvious.

Eddie chuckles to himself. “Of course. How long until liftoff?”

There’s no answer as plastic wheels continue zooming along until Chris decides he’d rather be on the floor again. Eddie loosely assists as his son climbs back down. Some days are more difficult than others, but he tries to follow the physical therapist’s advice to let Chris do as much as he can by himself. She says it won’t do either of them any good in the long run. Eddie can certainly see the wisdom in that even if he’s constantly itching to roll Chris in layers of bubble wrap.

He blindly grabs for his phone, buzzing from the coffee table. “Hello?”

At first there’s complete silence and he winces thinking it’s yet another telemarketer. Before he can check he hears rustling, like someone’s covering the mouthpiece.

“Hello?” He asks again, more insistent this time.

“Uh, sorry. Didn’t think you’d actually pick up.”

Eddie thinks he might drop the phone. Or throw up. Maybe both? Probably both.

“Evan?”

tagged by the lovely and talented @monsterrae1 @spotsandsocks for Inspiration Saturday (go check their posts, I’m very excited) Instead of working on anything current, I wrote this instead. Not sure I have any actual plans to expand it, I just had to get it out of my system, y’know? So, bon appetit or whatever 💖

no pressure tagging (lmk if you want added or removed) @stereopticons @this-is-bwr @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @disasterbuckdiaz @wikiangela @tizniz @theotherbuckley @elvensorceress @apothecarose @barbiediaz @buckaroosheart @buddierights @chaosandwolves @daffi-990 @diazsdimples @eowon @fortheloveofbuddie @gayedmundodiaz @giddyupbuck @heartshapedvows @honestlydarkprincess @hoodie-buck @indestructibleheart @jesuisici33 @ladydorian05 @lemonzestywrites @loserdiaz @spaceprincessem @statueinthestone @steadfastsaturnsrings @the-likesofus @theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming @thewolvesof1998 @vanillahigh00 @watchyourbuck @weewootruck @wildlife4life @your-catfish-friend @epicbuddieficrecs

#evan buckley #eddie diaz #christopher diaz #alternate timeline #eddie is a great dad #hippo writes #buddie wip #maybe????#buddie ficlet #possibly???#idk #inspiration saturday #fic: you can plan for a change in the weather and time #divorced eddie diaz

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eddiediazismyhusband · 2 months

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Wait was edy confirmed to have been filming last night??? PLEASEE WHEN CAN SHE JUST BE GONE

I don’t think she was 100% confirmed to be filming last night or not in all honesty- I blocked her transphobic ass a while ago so the only information i get about her whereabouts on set are from what i’m told by other people, but i think the big theory going around right now is that she always posts after others post about being on set, and people think she may be piggybacking trying to make it look like she’s there when she actually isn’t… of course this is just a theory and like i said i blocked her. a while ago so i don’t see her posts to confirm nor deny the plausibility of this, but knowing her attention-seeking attitude i wouldn’t put it past her.

And i would not fear too much anon, actors are often contracted for a specific number of episodes, so her being there does not mean her days aren’t numbered. Obviously we don’t know anything for sure, but I have my own theories- we know the time that she posted herself crying on her story and then started talking about auditioning again was around the time the show was picked up for season 8, so obviously contracts would begin being discussed at that time. My personal opinion is that she was told then that she would not be returning for season 8, and that is what sparked this attempt to stay relevant in the fandom (following cast members she never followed before, constantly posting about being on set and how “thankful” she is to have a job, interacting with people bashing the show for being “too gay,” etc.) to me it all reads as someone who is desperately trying to cling to the quickly unraveling thread that is her place on that show and it’s only a matter of time before she’s gone.

i mean ryan himself called her a ‘filler’ relationship for eddie. even the plotlines she’s been involved in this season she’s barely been there. eddie was quite literally on the verge of breaking up with her in 7x5 before his advice to buck made him decide to simply start over their relationship. My theory now is that “ghost of a second chance” has a double meaning of us seeing the ghost of a past relationship that eddie is still grappling with (maybe shannon, maybe someone else…. an old “army buddy” perhaps who he had never really understood his feelings for?) while also pertaining to the “second chance” he gave their relationship being dead. I mean the man brought his grandmother who lives in texas to his coworker’s wedding, and he barely trusts her with his kid (christopher is always being watched by someone else, he says things like “she’s already babysat this week” as if watching your significant other’s children is a burden to her) and like i said he was on the verge of ending things in 7x5…. i think it’s safe to say that their relationship is bones, and there’s no other logical direction for them to take it in, considering the fact that marisol is barely a character anyway, the fans don’t like e*y (for good reason), and they know that if they try to keep her on they will receive backlash (which we know tim sees after the karaoke debacle)

i am fully preaching to the choir here, because i have massive anxiety and the constant stress of speculating about where eddie’s (and buck’s) story goes is something that always runs my nerves up a wall… for reasons i won’t get into, eddie is a character i relate to deeply and i want to see his storyline handled with care and attention, so while the idea of the show sticking him with something as lackluster as marisol (played by a problematic untalented actress) obviously makes me stress out too, i try my best to remind myself just how little sense narratively it would make sense to keep eddie with marisol, since she is a wash rinse repeat of every romantic interest he’s had before- something they keep bringing up in eddie’s story as a bad thing.

so stay strong, dear anon… the light at the end if the tunnel has not gone out— there are things happening that none of us know, and it will do us no good to focus on the possible negative outcome when the positive outcome seems so much more likely in this situation.

Sorry to completely hijack your ask into an explanation of eddie, but if you know me you know i’m obsessed w the man so 🤷

Thank you for the ask, anon! 💕💕

#911 abc #eddie diaz #911 spoilers #911 #911 season 7 #911 speculation #911 cast #eddie diaz is my husband #edmundo diaz #edmundo eddie diaz #ryan guzman #edy ganem is a transphobe #fuck edy ganem

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iwantasquaresbar · 1 month

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Buddie rambling and speculation (don’t like don’t read :))

I’ve got extreme buddie brain rot, and before this most recent episode I was genuinely like 80% convinced we were gonna get buddie endgame. I always thought it was going to take a while like end of season 8 or in season 9. But I think like every one else that last episode just baffled me. It’s so strange I mean we will see I guess where things are going to go it doesn’t completely change what I think might happen but boy does it confuse me.

Because to me Buck is primed and ready, like he’s ready for a serious relationship, he’s worked out his sexuality and yeah he’s with Tommy at the moment and is happy. Which I’m enjoying he should be able to have a sweet romance. However to me it always seemed like they were intentionally leaving little cracks in their relationship and those cracks if torn open always lead right to Eddie or Buddie. I’m aware I’m delusional. But like 7x04 I feel like we all know Buck was jealous of both Tommy and Eddie. Like that peacocking in gym was not for Tommy, but I do genuinely believe he wanted Tommys attention too. They also spend that whole episode drawing attention to the similarities between Eddie and Tommy. Then Eddie turns up on the date and in my opinion Buck wouldn’t have done the whole hype straight routine if it had been any other character (also don’t love Tommys closet joke or his leaving but also he should be able to protect his own peace).

Then arguably the most intriguing to me is the costumes at the beginning of 7x06 like I agree it’s not that big of a deal that Tommys not in a costume if he’s on call but what is a big deal is having Buck bring it up. Because idk about anyone else i wouldn’t have realised Tommy wasn’t wearing a costume if it wasn’t brought up, and like it would be so easy to put him in a patterned shirt or have a cute moment where buck makes fun of him not being dressed up then like give him some like fun 80s glasses or some shit like that could’ve been a cute moment but no they had Buck be a little disappointed and Tommy act nonchalant. Then they follow it up with a scene where Eddie is the only one interested in bucks plans for a bachelor party and then he suggests matching costumes for them. Like ik im crazy but im not that crazy right like ik that scene is probably more to do with showing that they don’t know each that well yet and they’re learning and how tommy makes an effort to come but like i just don’t know why we got that parallel. Sorry this little thing just drives me insane.

Anyway the point of this post is I believe Buck is ready for buddie like the door is closed because he’s dating someone else but it’s not locked and it’s easy to open up. But Eddie he has so much work to do he needs to properly grieve Shannon and realise he doesn’t need to replace her for his or Chris’s sake. Then maybe he can face that he might not be as straight as he originally thought.

Basically i still definitely believe buddie can happen and be endgame i think they’ve set a good foundation especially on bucks part but Eddie has a long way to go and it’s gonna take time. I think the writers are keeping there options open and we won’t really get an idea if anything will happen between them until probably like end of season 8

#buddie #buddie rambling #evan buck buckely #evan buckley #911 on abc #eddie diaz #buddie theories

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steadfastsaturnsrings · 6 months

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hi saturn! answer any or all - whatever you'd like :D

3, 10 and 21 for fic writer asks. 12, 24 and 25 for fanfic asks. and 4 (movie of the year)

Hiiii Naomi 💕💕💕

Thanks so much for the ask!

Fic writer asks:

What’s something you learned about yourself as a writer?

As someone who just picked up writing again this year after a long break, I think I remembered the joy of writing. I learned that I am capable of writing and my writing actually isn’t terrible. I learned that I am able to follow through with my ideas and how rewarding writing can be. I learned to have confidence in myself as a writer and how much of an outlet/stress relief writing can be for me :)

What fic made you happiest to work on?

I’m definitely going to say there may meaning (or find one and seize it) Snippets here! @try-set-me-on-fire had this idea for a fic where Buck joins the team when he’s younger and since then I have been obsessed with season 1 Buck. He’s just so young and still has so much to learn. And he is still so vulnerable and searching for his place. His family. So when I came up with the idea for this fic I was so excited! This fic is the first one that I didn’t write in one sitting where I had a plan for the plot. Because that is something I struggle with for longer fics. This fic is just so special to me because it really highlights Buck’s abandonment issues/wanting to be found and forces it to be addressed by the 118 early on. I feel like Bucks mental health isn’t discussed as much as it should be on the show and I really want to explore what it would’ve been like if it was talked about much earlier. If people realized how much he was truly struggling.

Share your favorite piece of dialogue

I’d have to say this conversation from the Buck breakdown fic (snippet here) I really like how it turned out in terms of angst.

“All of the lies you told me about me not being expendable, about me mattering to you, about trusting me with Chris. None of it was true. I should’ve known.

All of the emotions and hell I went through for you. all of the nightmares I get where I can’t get to you in time and you bleed out in front of me. All of the pain I was in, and you did nothing to help me. You didn’t even try to talk about what happened with me. You just wanted to pull away because it was easier for you than to try and work with me. To get through it together, with me” Buck shouted, his voice cracking as he struggled through each word.

“Buck, you’re not listening to me” Eddie began slowly in that stoic voice again, “I didn’t mean to pull away, I never knew how much pain you were in, I was stuck in my own head. If I’d known I would’ve done everything I could have to help you. I see you, Evan” He said that last phrase softly, desperately, trying to get Buck to look him in the eye and know his sincerity.

“No, Eddie. If you really saw me, you would’ve known something was wrong and you wouldn’t have pushed me away. You would’ve loved me anyway, despite everything else going on” Buck said lowly. He turned now, taking one last look at Eddie before he walked out the door.

Fanfic asks:

Favorite character to write about this year

I would have to say Eddie! I love writing about his grief with Shannon and all the feelings he has surrounding that. I also love to dive into his trauma and how it affects him. I imagine he has developed some coping mechanisms throughout the years to deal with it and I love writing about the small details of Eddie we might not get to see on the show Eddie can be so stoic so it’s fun to get into his head and write what’s he’s thinking and feelings.

Favorite fic you read this year

I am going to say 3:17 by @taralaurel This is my favorite fic of all time. It explores Eddie’s grief and how he handles it. I feel like Eddie is portrayed very well and realistically in this fic. I love how it explores how Eddie handles his feelings post therapy because he knows he can’t repress them but he still tries to hide them anyway. And the ending with Buck is just so heartwarming.

a fic you read this year you would recommend everyone read

See above. I think everyone should read this fic because it is so tender, it really captures Eddie well, and highlights how well Buck and Eddie know each other/see each other.

End of year asks:

Movie of the year

It didn’t come out this year but I am going to say interstellar. This movie is so powerful and thoughtful. It is such a heartbreaking beautiful movie. I also just love the music as well.

Fic writer asks!

Fanfic asks!

End of the year asks!

#my asks #my post #my fanfic #911 on abc #911 on fox #evan buckley#Eddie Diaz #Bobby Nash #911 fanfic #911 wip #thanks for the ask #💕💕💕

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liesyousoldme · 2 years

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seven sentence sunday

listen i've got a cold AND i had chemo on tuesday so yes i have slept the large majority of the last 3 days BUT i promised seven sentences on sunday and i'm pretty sure it's sunday so here is this Thing from this New Thing i'm doing. it's part high school au, part epistolary in the middle, kind of follows canon??? anyway it's the one inspired heavily by folklore so go into it with that knowledge here's idk how many sentences and then i'm probably going back to sleep (i'm high on nyquil right now) i love you all

Dear Eddie, he writes, then huffs and presses the lead of his pencil into the paper until it breaks. He rubs a hand up and down his face, glances back at his computer screen as though it might’ve changed in the last hour he’s had Eddie’s Facebook profile pulled up.

It’s not something he checks often – it’s not something that Eddie ever even updates himself. But he knows Eddie’s the type to browse his feed just to see what people are up to (at least he hopes Eddie still does it, because he feels like sometimes the only reason he posts anything is in hopes that Eddie or Maddie sees it) so he still uses the site. It had been a shock today, to see Eddie, tagged in a celebratory post.

A wedding. With Shannon.

It fills him with such mixed emotions he wants to puke with it.

He’s written so many letters that he’s crumpled into balls and tossed into trashcan fires. Written her name exactly zero times, and Eddie’s a thousand. He wonders if he’ll ever write this new combination down.

Shannon Diaz.

Dear Eddie, he thinks, but can’t bring himself to sharpen his broken pencil to actually write it, I hope you’re happy with the girl you chose over me, I hope you’re happy I hope you’re happy I hope you’re happy because I'm not, I still thought maybe one day it would be me and you, that I’d come back to Texas after graduation and you wouldn’t have your parents looking over your shoulder anymore and maybe we could go to college together or find stupid jobs like we'd talked about, and how are you married when I can still remember the taste of your lips and I haven't even kissed anyone else and -

#(yells and then runs away)#writing letters addressed to the fire

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ghosthunterbuck · 2 years

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just like eggs (over-easy)

(buddie) (1.5k) (read it on ao3)

In his entire life, Eddie Diaz has never made an easy decision.

As a child, he hadn’t made many decisions at all; his mom bought his clothes, his dad signed him up for peewee football, and later, for after school shifts at the local grocery store. Marrying Shannon had felt like the first decision he’d ever really made for himself, and he’d agonized over it. Everyone who knew had told him it was the right thing to do, and surely the warmth he’d felt when he looked at her had to mean something.

Joining the military had, for a moment, felt easy. Easy but for the niggling doubt in the back of his mind, easy but for the fear of coming home in a body bag, or not at all. Easy but for the way Shannon looked at him when he told her. Of that decision, he’d been sure, but the ease of it lasted only as long as it took his inked signature to dry.

Coming home – well, that hadn’t been a decision at all. He likes to think he would’ve made it anyway, but three bullets and the mess of scar tissue that followed took it out of his hands. And leaving again – this time with Christopher in tow – felt a little like ripping himself in two. Leaving behind Eddie the son, Eddie the husband, Eddie the soldier. Grasping tightly to Eddie the father, the only piece of him he was sure still had some worth.

Even joining the 118 had felt monumental. With the benefit of hindsight, it’s a decision he’d make a thousand times over, one of the best he’s ever made, but it still hadn’t been easy. He’d gone back and forth on stations for a week, until finally Bobby had convinced him with a few choice words about teamwork, partnership, and serving a purpose greater than all of them.

Leaving the 118 had been the hardest of them all. And the biggest mistake, as it turned out. Or– maybe that wasn’t quite right. He’d needed the time, he realizes now. The therapy, too. The mistake would have been staying away, never coming back. But that decision was difficult too.

Today, though, Eddie Diaz feels settled. Like anything he decides will turn out all right. Like the decisions he needs to make have been sitting in the back of his mind for years, just waiting to be dusted off and examined. Like he already knows what he needs to do, and for once in his life, it’s what he wants to do, too.

He catches Buck’s wrist as he steps out of the locker room, still damp from his post-shift shower. Buck quirks an eyebrow and smiles that half-smile that Eddie’s pretty sure he’s been in love with since day one.

“Come home with me?” Eddie asks.

Buck’s expression goes soft around the edges. He opens his mouth to respond, but all that comes out is a jaw cracking yawn.

“C’mon,” Eddie says, grinning a little too wide for the morning after a busy 24.

Buck chuckles and scrubs his free hand across his jaw. “I’m not going to be great company,” he warns.

At that, Eddie laughs. “Me neither,” he says. “I think you and I both have a date with a long nap.”

“Sounds good, Eds.” Buck’s voice is soft, and warm, and Eddie would listen to him read the phone book outloud if he said it like that.

Their fingers twine together on the center console, and even though this thing between them is still new and largely unspoken, Eddie knows exactly what it is. It’s the way Buck’s eyes find his at every red light. It’s the gentle warning squeeze every time he starts to brake. It’s the way Eddie trusts Buck, has always trusted Buck, to get them both home after an exhausting shift. It’s warmth and joy and love, and it’s a forever kind of thing.

By the time Eddie wakes from their nap, the decision he hadn’t even realized he was considering is made.

Eddie swipes a thumb across Buck’s cheekbone, marveling at the way the late afternoon sunlight dyes his skin golden. Like this, ivory sheets pooled around his waist, face relaxed and unlined in sleep, Buck reminds him of the ancient Greek gods he and Christopher had been so excited to share last week at dinner. Apollo, perhaps, kissed by the sun. A healer.

Eddie purses his lips and blows, just to watch Buck’s nose scrunch. He runs his fingers along Buck’s jaw. “It’s time to wake up,” he whispers, unwilling to disturb the silence of the room entirely.

Buck hums and nuzzles into his hand. “In a sec,” he mumbles.

“We have to pick Christopher up,” Eddie reminds him gently. He’s tempted to let Buck sleep, but the one time he had silently slipped from bed and gone to the school on his own, Buck had pouted the rest of the night, only relenting when Eddie promised to always wake him up in the future.

Buck’s eyes blink open once, twice, and finally focus on Eddie’s. The haze of sleep that hangs in them does nothing to detract from the oceans of blue that sweep Eddie away everytime he allows himself a moment to get lost in them.

“Hi,” Eddie says softly.

“Hi,” Buck breathes. His hand, which has been resting on Eddie’s waist all this time, slowly slides up his ribs and across his chest until it comes to rest over Eddie’s steadily beating heart. “Hi,” Buck says again.

“You awake?” Eddie teases gently. He threads his fingers through Buck’s hair, longer now than it was the first time he’d done so.

Buck grins, lopsided and sweet. “I’m awake,” he confirms, eyes sparkling with something that looks a lot like Eddie feels.

“You ready to go?” Eddie asks.

“I’ll go anywhere with you,” Buck says, and while his tone is light, Eddie knows that he means it, knows it because he’d do the same.

“Hollywood during rush hour?” he teases.

“You know it,” Buck answers, just like Eddie knew he would.

“To my parents’ house in Texas?”

“Your dad’s chorizo is really good,” Buck says.

“Antarctica?” Eddie asks, biting down on his own smile.

“Always wanted to see a penguin in the wild.”

“What about the moon?” Eddie asks, suddenly a little breathless.

Buck’s eyes slip shut and he hums. “We’ll steal a rocketship from NASA and go in the morning. All of Christopher’s classmates will be jealous.”

“How about the courthouse, right after we pick Chris up from school?”

Buck’s eyes snap open and his lips part. “Eds,” he says softly, eyes shining.

“I’m sorry I don’t have a ring yet,” Eddie says, cupping Buck’s jaw in his hand, “and I’m sorry I’m not on one knee.”

“That’s okay,” Buck chuckles wetly. “I’m not sure those old man knees of yours could handle it, anyway.”

“Shut up,” Eddie laughs, “I’m trying to propose.”

Buck’s face crumples, and the tears begin to gather in earnest. “Eddie,” he says, and it’s all Eddie needs to hear to confirm he’s made the right decision, the best decision, the easiest one he’s ever made.

“I want to wake up next to you every day. I want to make you coffee with that demon coffee machine, and watch you make breakfast because I still can't manage eggs over-easy. I want to tell you, every single day, that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and Christopher. I want you to be his dad with me, and I want the entire world to know it. I want you, Evan Buckley, in every single way for the rest of our lives.” Eddie says it all without hesitating, without looking away. He thumbs a tear from the corner of Buck’s eye. Eddie smiles, happier than he can ever remember being, and asks, “Will you marry me?”

Buck squeezes his eyes shut then opens them again, leaving his lashes wet and sparkling in the sunlight. “You’ve never even kissed me,” he says thickly.

Eddie huffs a soft laugh. “I can fix that,” he says, shifting forward so their noses nearly touch.

“I love you,” Buck says, and it’s like every happiness Eddie’s ever felt rolled up into one enormous burst of light in his chest.

“I love you, too,” Eddie says. He presses his forehead to Buck’s and closes his eyes. “So what do you say?” he asks.

Buck’s exhale is warm against Eddie’s lips. “Yes,” Buck says, soft, simple. He shifts forward until his lips are just a hairsbreadth from Eddie’s. “I’ll marry you in Hollywood during rush hour, or at your parents’ house in Texas. I’ll marry you in Antarctica, or on the moon, or at the courthouse, right after we pick Christopher up from school.”

“Speaking of,” Eddie murmurs, “if we don’t get up soon, we’re going to be late.”

“Eddie Diaz, love of my life, fiancé of mine, if you don’t kiss me right this second–”

Eddie closes the last sliver of distance between them, and in the second easiest decision of his life, cuts Buck off with the last first kiss he’ll ever have.

It feels a lot like coming home.

#tfw when you're working from home and your boss is unexpectedly out of office for the day #have some shameless fluff bc 911 is back in one month and whatever trailer they drop is going to destroy me!!#911 #buddie #911fic #911 fic #911 fox #Evan Buckley #Eddie Diaz #fic #Abbie writes #haven't posted anything in a while so hope you all like this!#ridiculous fluff is my specialty so #userceecee

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canonicallyobserving911 · 2 years

Text

Buck & Eddie: Buck and Eddie are each other’s ENDGAME

There have been several comments on different platforms regarding who people believe should have been Buck and Eddie’s endgames and this post will hopefully end the confusion. For some reason they believed the relationships they were in could have been absolved if, according to them, they would have been given more time or a better storyline. The truth is the people who follow this line of thinking couldn’t have been following the narrative as written and produced by 9-1-1 because if they had been following it, they would have realized there’s always been one and only one outcome for Buck and Eddie. Buck and Eddie are each other’s ENDGAME because they’ve found in one another all the things they couldn’t find from either of the women they have dated or in Eddie’s case, were married to. Therefore, if the narrative continues, the two of them becoming a CANON couple is the only option.

Buck wants to be in love with the person who makes him happy and that person will love him unconditionally. He wants a family and he must be able to trust the person he ends up marrying. Eddie wants to be with someone who will love both him and Christopher. He wants a co-parent who recognizes that Christopher can accomplish anything he wants to albeit the path he may have to take to get there may be different from others. He also wants to be with someone he can trust. Everything they are looking for in a relationship, they’ve only found in each other. Buck wants to have more than just sex with the person he’s with especially since he thrived off of it just to make a connection with someone when he was Buck 1.0. Eddie wants an emotional connection with the person he ends up with and that’s why it was so easy for him to fall back in bed with Shannon. He was familiar with her since they shared a past. If people only see “chemistry” between two people when sex is involved, then they’ve missed the whole point of someone being in love. Real intimacy requires two people to truly know each other and having sex is not the same as intimacy. Some people have sex for money but they don’t have intimacy with the person they’re sleeping with. Also people don’t have to have sex with someone to have intimacy and that’s why some people are accused of emotional cheating. Let’s review their past relationships to determine if they met either of Buck’s or Eddie’s minimum qualifications to be endgame. (The answer is NO but let’s review them anyway.)

Buck’s previous girlfriends

Abby

Abby was never all in with Buck and she used him as a distraction from her own mundane and boring life. He was young and handsome so she thought being with him would give her something to do temporarily until she could go out and find a life for herself. It was Buck’s first real relationship so he missed all the signs she clearly showed him that illustrated she wasn’t all in and never would be. Did she want a family? Yes, but she didn’t want it with him and that was proven when she returned in 3x18 “What’s Next?” because she came back to L.A. with a fiancé and he already had two kids. Did she love Buck? Probably not because love is patient, kind, longsuffering and most importantly it’s unconditional. Her feelings for him, if she really had any other than him being her boy toy, were none of those things and the proof could be found in the statements she made to him. He brought life and light into her boring life and that’s what she thrived off of with regards to Buck. He was young and he offered her something she couldn’t get while she was taking care of her mother. She didn’t even have enough decency to breakup with him before she left for Europe. Finally could he trust her? NO!!!!! He couldn’t trust her because she wouldn’t tell him why she sought him out in the first place. She didn’t realize he had moved in with her and when he asked her if it was ok for his things to be in her place she said “I mean, yeah. I haven’t even thought about it like that. You’ve been so supportive throughout all of this”. WTH!!! Let’s be real, Abby was a cougar looking for a cub to live out her fantasies with but once her mother died, she was ready to move on with her life and it’s sad but true that her future didn’t and never would have included Buck. She abandoned him in 1x10 “A Whole New You”. Since she didn’t love him, he couldn’t trust her and even though she did want a family, but not with him, she couldn’t have been Buck’s endgame.

Ali

Ali’s time with Buck was short and it was a rebound relationship for him. Buck told Maddie in 2x11 “New Beginnings” that she was around but they decided to take things slow. She traveled for work which means she was hardly ever there and his job kept him busy so they were distractions for each other whenever they got lonely. While she was excited to be with a young hot firefighter, she didn’t calculate the risks he takes every day for his job. If she had, she could have saved herself and him a lot of trouble because as soon as he got hurt, she decided to run for the hills and never look back. She broke up with him in 2x18 “This Life We Choose”. Did she love Buck? NO!!! She couldn’t have been in love with him because if she had been, she would have been willing to stay around to help take care of him after his leg got crushed by a ladder truck. Did she want a family with him? No one knows because they weren’t together long enough to consider their future together. It was evident when she helped him find the loft that she wasn’t looking to move in with him anytime soon. The realtor asked would they be sharing the place and she said no and he said it would be his first place on his own. Finally, could he trust her? That’s up for debate because they really didn’t know each other that well and to be able to trust someone they have to know them. Since Buck and Ali weren’t in love, didn’t see a future together that included a family and they didn’t know each other enough to trust the other one, there’s no way she could have been Buck’s endgame.

Taylor

Taylor only wanted Buck 1.0 and she never intended for things to get serious with him based on their hookups in that dirty bar bathroom and her attempt to do it a second time in the news van in 2x8 “Bucktually”. If she really wanted to get serious with him, she would have made a real effort to get to know him beyond the bedroom. Also she would have learned that Buck wants to be with someone he can trust. A promise to him is like a vow because that’s all he and Maddie had to depend on when he was a child, their “pinky promises”; therefore when Taylor broke the promise she made to him, they had reached a point of no return from Buck’s perspective. Buck did something he said he didn’t want to do again and that was chase someone. He followed her to Oklahoma even though he didn’t want to. If he hadn’t listened to Bobby in 5x9 “Past is Prologue”, he would have ended it sooner because Buck 1.0 didn’t talk to the women he hooked up with and let’s be real, that’s exactly who Taylor was, a random girl in a bar that he hooked up with not long after they met. (Read blog post: “Evan “Buck” Buckley: Taylor Kelly was the “Random Girl” in a bar” for more information about why Buck and Taylor were never going to be endgame.) She told Buck she loved him but that was after he finally chased her. He did say it back to her but judging by the look on his face he didn’t mean it. Did they truly love each other? NO!!!! They couldn’t have been in love because they didn’t know each other. Their lack of love for one another also shows how they couldn’t trust each other. Finally did she want a family with Buck? Probably not because Taylor’s priority has been and always will be her job until she realizes that won’t fulfill her forever. She wouldn’t keep her promise to him for that very reason. Since Taylor and Buck weren’t in love, couldn’t trust each other and would never have a family together, there’s no way she could have been his endgame.

Read blog post: “All of Buck’s Women” for more information.

Eddie’s deceased wife and ex-girlfriend

Shannon

Shannon and Eddie married young because he got her pregnant and while most of their relationship history was shown via his flashbacks in 3x15 “Eddie Begins”, it was evident that they spent 99.999% of their time arguing with each other. The other time they had together was spent in the bedroom. Eddie obviously didn’t want to be in a marriage because he left her as soon as he could and ran away to the Army. He re-enlisted so that he didn’t have to come back to her and if he hadn’t been injured in the line of duty, he probably would have re-enlisted again to avoid going back home. She left him in El Paso once he returned because she felt like she had been raising Christopher alone while he was away. She made no attempts to contact him even after he and Christopher moved to L.A. She was already there living with her mother so she should have at least wanted to talk to her son but she didn’t. After Eddie had to contact her, so that Christopher could complete the enrollment process for The Durand School, she started self-deprecating and Eddie didn’t know what to do so he did what worked in the past, he kissed her. They ended up back in the bedroom but the arguments started again not long after that and they were on the verge of separating for the second time. She thought she was pregnant and was going to stick it out but when she found out she wasn’t, she was ready to run again. Eddie was already apprehensive about trusting her but he went against his better judgment and allowed her back into their lives. She told him at dinner one night she wanted a divorce but before she could file for it, she got hit by a car. Their relationship was toxic and they shouldn’t have ever gotten married (read blog post: “The Buckley Diaz Family (Part 1 of 4)” for more information). Did Shannon and Eddie love each other? They may have had love for each other because of Christopher but they were never in love with one another. Did they want a family and were they good co-parents? NO!!! Even though they were married and had a son, the reason why they got married was because she got pregnant. Therefore if they had to do it over again, they probably wouldn’t have gotten married just because she was pregnant. Also she told him she needed a co-parent while he was away and he needed one after she left him. They were never in the same place at the same time long enough for it to work. Could Eddie trust her? NO!!! He told her he didn’t know if he could trust her again in 2x10 “Merry X-Mas” and she proved him right during the dinner they had when she said she didn’t want to be with him again. She died in 2x17 “Careful What You Wish For” and Eddie had a chance to read the letter she wrote to Christopher after she left them in Texas. He was heartbroken to learn she didn’t want to be his wife or Christopher’s mother. Since Shannon didn’t meet all of Eddie’s qualifications, she would have never been his endgame.

Ana

Eddie met Ana at Christopher’s school and even though their first encounter went pleasantly well, their second encounter was anything but nice. In 3x12 “Fools”, Eddie yelled at her after Christopher fell off another student’s skateboard and needless to say, Eddie wasn’t happy. She kept apologizing but he didn’t want to hear it. They crossed paths again in 3x15 “Eddie Begins” but that was because he went to Christopher’s class to speak about his time in the Army. After fighting wildfires in Austin, TX, he stopped by his parents’ house to eat with Hen and Buck before they headed back to L.A. They probably told him he needed to get a mother for Christopher so when he saw her again in 4x6 “Jinx”, he asked her out on a date. He only asked her after he received some unwarranted advice from Bobby, which he shouldn’t have followed, but as usual Eddie listened to everyone except for himself. He never was into Ana but he did the same thing he did with Shannon, tried to stick it out because that’s what he thought he was supposed to do. He told Buck in 5x2 “Desperate Times” that he was going to “stick it out” since Christopher loved her. Let’s be real, Eddie only thought Ana would impress his parents because she checked off all of the boxes, they believed would be a good fit for him and his son. She wasn’t who he wanted and that’s why he started having panic attacks. He wants to be with Buck and he’s always wanted to be with him. Did they love each other? NO!!! She was just like him; she had an IDEA of them in her head and that’s what she was in love with. Did she want a family and to co-parent with him? Maybe but she never said she loved Christopher; Eddie was the one who said it. Finally could he trust her? Maybe because she stayed at his house during the blackout to care for Christopher but that could have been due to her wanting to impress him. Since she looked good on paper but wasn’t good for him, they would never have been endgame. The place in Eddie’s heart for a co-parent, lover and trusted person was already filled long before he asked her out on a date.

Read blog post: “The Women in Eddie’s Life” for more information.

Buck & Eddie are Endgame

Regardless of whether some audience members believe it or not, Buck and Eddie are in love with each other and they are the loves of each other’s lives. Buck stepped into Eddie and Christopher’s lives and became a part of their family within weeks of Eddie starting at the 118. He’s been co-parenting Christopher with Eddie for four years and Buck and Eddie blindly trust each other. None of the people they’ve dated or were married to (in Eddie’s case) met all of their qualifications. Let’s review each qualification as it pertains to them being endgame.

Love

Buck and Eddie are in love with each other and even though they haven’t vocally said it out loud so that people can hear it, they’ve told each other silently that they are in love with the other one several times in CANON. They have several ways they communicate with each other and one way is their silent conversations. Those conversations allow them to say things to each other so that no one else knows what they are talking about. Their silent conversations started early in season 2 and they’ve continued well into season 5. They also look at each other with so much love, longing and passion (read blog post: “Buck & Eddie: Look at each other with love, lust and passion” for more information) that it’s undeniable how much they love each other. It’s not a brothers, bromance, platonic friends or best friends type of love. It’s purely romantic and they are soulmates.

Also, being in love with someone means they will be there in both the good and bad times and in sickness and in health. Buck and Eddie have been there for each other even when they were at their worst, i.e. Buck’s depression, Eddie’s breakdown, Eddie getting shot and since Eddie’s a medic, he’s demonstrated many times while he was at work that he will take care of the person he’s in a relationship with. Neither of them ran away like Ali did when the other one was hurt or wounded.

They don’t abandon each other even when they’ve tried to push each other away or when they were in a relationship with someone else. Buck was a whole HUSBAND to Eddie after his breakdown in 5x13 “Fear-O-Phobia” and Eddie was a whole HUSBAND to Buck in 5x4 “Home and Away” after Chimney punched him in the face. Both of those times Buck was in a relationship with Taylor but he didn’t care. He was and always will be there for his Diaz boys.

They are always looking at each other and they didn’t respond to that woman who asked them if they were single in 3x11 “Seize the Day”.

Family and Co-parenting

Buck wants a family and Eddie already has one with him and his son. While Eddie said he didn’t want a “ready made family” with Ana in 5x2 “Desperate Times”, he said it because he already has a “self-made family” with Buck that they started building in season 2. Buck has been co-parenting Christopher with Eddie for four years and they both love him unconditionally. They care for him in the exact same manner so they’ve both fulfilled the qualifications they want in a spouse regarding family and co-parenting. (Read blog posts: “The Buckley Diaz Family (Part 1 of 4)” and “The Buckley-Diaz Family (Part 2 of 4)” for more information on how they built their self-made family.)

Trust

During Eddie’s first shift, they formed a bond built on trust when they removed a live grenade from a man’s leg in the back of an ambulance. Since that day, they’ve blindly walked into dangerous rescues with one another and most of the time they’ve come out unharmed. Buck didn’t question Eddie in 4x13 “Suspicion” when Eddie said Charlie was in trouble, he just went with him. He didn’t even stop to put on his uniform. Eddie went willingly with Buck to rescue Gladys from a burning apartment building in 3x16 “The One that Got Away”. Their whole relationship is built on trust, therefore they’ve both met the trust qualification needed for them to be in a relationship.

One good thing is some of the general audience members were finally starting to understand the narrative of Buck and Eddie being endgame after 5x18 “Starting Over” when Buck stated the definition of love. He was talking about Eddie and whether he realized it yet or not, that’s the only person who he’ll be happy with. Buck is the only person that will keep Eddie happy and it’s evident Eddie knows this by his reactions anytime he’s faced with losing Buck (read blog post: “Buck & Eddie: Eddie panics about losing Buck” for more information). It’s interesting that some people were rooting for any of the relationships that weren’t meant to be endgame, i.e., Buck and Taylor; Buck and Abby; Buck and Ali; Eddie and Shannon; or Eddie and Ana because those relationships were either toxic or lopsided. It takes two people to be committed to form a union and if only one of them is committed then that’s not the definition of a healthy relationship. Buck and Eddie have already built the foundation of their relationship and have formed a family. The love they have for one another is unconditional so it’s only a matter of time before they are CANON. Will TPTB allow Buck and Eddie to become a CANON couple in season 6? Only they know the answer to that question.

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extasiswings · 3 years

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“i’ll keep you warm” eddie has a nightmare post-shooting 👀 (or however you wanna write it!)

This was not supposed to be this long...rated M-ish for some mild smut at the end. On ao3 here.

The thing Eddie remembers most about the shooting isn’t the shot itself, or the pain, or even the fear—it’s the cold. The icy numbness of shock curling down his spine, twisting through his veins like tendrils of frost creeping across a windowpane in winter. Cold, as his pulse skyrocketed, his body’s signals all crossed and confused and trying to circulate blood, not seeming to grasp the fact that his blood was seeping out onto the asphalt beneath him, that trying to circulate it faster was just making it worse. Cold, like he was a stupid kid at camp diving into a frigid lake before dawn, except above him was blue sky and a bright sun beating down and the fact that it was Los Angeles in May didn’t do a damn thing to help.

He couldn’t feel it. He could only feel the cold.

Buck, though—Buck, he felt. Buck’s hands burned, on his chest, his neck, his face, so warm that Eddie almost wanted to flinch away, but he didn’t. He was aware enough to realize that if Buck was warm, he was probably telling the truth when he said he wasn’t hurt. And that was good. That was all he needed to know.

The cold—

Eddie’s been through enough in his life to know that his subconscious works in weird ways. After Afghanistan he dreamed more directly of burning helicopters and gunfire, blood in his mouth and smoke on his tongue. Shadows and screams and guilt. After the well his dreams were of Christopher, Shannon, waves crashing on a beach. And Buck. Sunlight.

This time...this time Eddie dreams of drowning. Trapped beneath ice, his hands slamming against it, eventually forced to inhale—water flooding his mouth, his throat, his lungs—cold, cold, cold—

Sometimes after he wakes he’ll spend hours shivering. Phantom chills that won’t go away even when he wraps himself in blankets.

The therapist he’s mandated to see before he can be cleared for work tells him that the brain doesn’t always process trauma by taking the most direct path. Eddie doesn’t know why his has fixated on this. The cold. Maybe it’s just easiest. Because the shooting—

His chest gets tight when he’s walking in open air. Sweat breaks out across his brow when the sunlight glints off of windows. His pulse races.

He can’t breathe.

It feels a little like drowning.

“Do you feel safe?” Dr. Kingston asks one session. And Eddie thinks about freezing in a grocery store parking lot, gripping the edge of a cart to keep his hands from shaking, thinks about Buck curving a hand around his shoulder, solid and warm—

“Sometimes,” Eddie admits. “It depends.”

“Depends on what?”

He tastes the lie on his tongue before it slips out.

“I don’t know.”

When the world shut down and Eddie had to leave Christopher with his abuela so that he could keep working without worrying constantly that he was putting his son at risk, Buck’s was the obvious place to go. And Eddie doesn’t know if things would have been different if it had been just the two of them but Hen and Chim deciding it was also the obvious place for them to go meant there weren’t a lot of options for sleeping arrangements.

So Eddie shared the bed with Buck. And it didn’t matter if either of them wound up wrapped around the other, the lines of their bodies pressed close enough to bleed together. If they curled into one another like plants twisting to find the light.

It was...instinct. To seek comfort. Warmth. Touch. Both of them alone for so long, and just needing—

Needing.

They never talked about it—there wasn’t anything to talk about. If it made Eddie’s heart race, if it made him ache for something he hadn’t expected and didn’t wholly understand, if when he returned home alone again his own bed felt too empty, that was his own problem.

Now, though—

Now, he knows. Because he stood frozen on the street and stared at Buck with Carla’s words in his head—make sure you’re following your heart—and realized oh. It hadn’t just been convenience, it had been love. Need and desire and love.

Now, he knows, but doesn’t know what to do with that knowledge, with the awareness he has suddenly. Buck is living in his house, in his space, helping him with Christopher and with his own recovery, making sure he takes his meds and gets to his appointments and does his exercises. Buck is there all the time and it’s a blessing and a curse because Eddie burns whenever Buck touches him.

And Buck touches him. A lot.

He hadn’t at first, right after Eddie came home from the hospital—Eddie would catch him sometimes looking like he wanted to, but holding back, reaching out but stopping himself, and Eddie never asked why. Even now he doesn’t think he ever needed to—he knows what it’s like to be afraid, to be unsteady, adrift, worrying that touching something you expect to be solid will reveal it’s just an illusion. Not wanting to find out if it is.

But Buck touches him now. And sometimes Eddie will wake up to find that Buck’s migrated from the couch in the living room to a chair by his bed, folded in and fitfully asleep. Buck never says, but Eddie’s pretty sure it’s so Buck can reassure himself that Eddie’s still breathing.

Eddie understands that need too. Sometimes he isn’t sure himself.

The first time it happens after Buck’s relationship with Taylor has flamed out—for himself, he and Ana have been over since just after he left the hospital—Eddie finally just gets up.

“Buck.” He curves a hand around the side of Buck’s neck and passes his thumb along the edge of his jaw.

Buck startles awake, looking somehow guilty.

“I didn’t wake you up, did I? Sorry, I know it’s—I can go back to the—”

“Will you just come to bed?” Eddie interrupts before Buck successfully talks himself into leaving the room. “Please?”

Buck’s eyes flick down to his shoulder. He swallows hard.

“I don’t want to—”

Oh.

“You won’t hurt me,” Eddie promises. “Okay?”

Buck searches his face in the dark, but if he sees anything, he clearly doesn’t mind because he nods and gets up from the chair. When they both resettle on the mattress, Buck only pauses for a moment before curving around him like a parenthesis, his arm falling across Eddie’s waist.

Eddie’s breath catches.

“Is this—?”

Eddie closes his eyes and sinks into the embrace. If it feels just a little bit like cheating because he hasn't told Buck how he feels, that’s between him and god.

“It’s fine,” he assures, then adds to make it a little more fair, “you aren’t the only one who needs—you aren’t the only one.”

Buck relaxes at that, his grip tightening a little with newfound certainty.

When Eddie dreams, he doesn’t drown.

“You look good,” Dr. Kingston acknowledges two weeks later. “You’ve been sleeping better?”

“Yeah,” Eddie replies. “I stopped having nightmares, so I haven’t been waking up as much.”

He catches the surprise that flickers across her face.

“They stopped completely?” She asks. “Have you been doing something different or—?”

Eddie shifts in his chair and clears his throat. What is he supposed to tell her? That he stopped having nightmares when he started sleeping with Buck every night? He’s not really ready to unpack that with his therapist—he’s barely ready to unpack it in his own head.

“Just lucky, I guess,” he says. Dr. Kingston puts down her pen and levels him with a long look that tells him she knows that’s bullshit and is trying to decide whether to push or let it go until another time.

She lets it go.

“Well,” she replies. “I’m glad to hear it.”

Eddie feels like he’s dodged another bullet.

Later, though, he wonders if he shouldn’t have said more. If he shouldn’t have asked questions. Because he goes to sleep and—

The water is pitch black and freezing. Eddie’s eyes sting, but it doesn’t matter whether he keeps them open or not—there’s nothing to see. He kicks his legs anyway, swims up, up, up, even though it hurts to make his limbs work when they’re so cold. There’s a faint light—the surface—and he kicks harder, desperate to reach—

Ice. Nothing but a sheet of ice, solid and thick. His lungs burn from lack of air, his palms beat against the ice—

He can’t keep moving. It’s too cold. He can’t—

“Eddie. Eddie.” Hands seize him from nowhere, almost too warm, and Eddie could have sworn the ice had no cracks, but he’s being lifted out—

“Eddie.”

He snaps awake, gasping. Buck’s face swims into view, worry painted across every line. His hands are on Eddie’s shoulders.

They’re so warm.

Eddie shivers.

“You were hyperventilating,” Buck says. “I thought—”

“Just a dream,” Eddie grits out, trying to keep his teeth from chattering. He still feels frozen. Stupid—it was a dream, it wasn’t real, so he shouldn’t—it shouldn’t be this difficult.

He shivers again.

Buck’s brow furrows deeper.

“You’re shaking—are you cold?”

Eddie sits up and scrubs his hands over his face. He swallows back the denial on his tongue, the urge to run away and hide in the bathroom until a scalding shower makes him feel somewhat human again. Maybe he can’t always be honest with his therapist, but he can be honest with Buck.

“Yes,” he admits. “But it’s not—it’s just in my head. When I got shot I—it’s hard to explain but, yes. I’m cold. Freezing. I don’t know how—”

He cuts off and Buck shifts on the mattress, reaches out slowly so Eddie has plenty of time to stop him if he doesn’t want to be touched, and finally wraps his arms around him, pulling Eddie firmly against his chest.

“I’ll keep you warm,” Buck says quietly. And Eddie—

Something in him cracks. Not like ice during a thaw, but resolve after too much time of being worn down, pressure applied in precisely the right spot. He’s raw and ragged and his scarred heart hardly feels like anything anyone should want, but he’s so tired of pretending he hasn’t been trying to press it into Buck’s hands for a year in different ways. He’s tired of not asking and being afraid and waiting. He’s tired—

Buck makes a soft sound of surprise when Eddie kisses him. But he doesn’t push him away. And Eddie can’t help himself from pressing closer, curling one hand into Buck’s shirt and the other around the back of his neck and kissing him again and again and again, feeling altogether too frantic. He’ll probably find it in himself to be embarrassed in the morning, but want and desperation have left very little room for shame at the moment.

Buck kisses him back. His hands drop to Eddie’s hips as Eddie does his best to climb into his lap.

“Eddie,” Buck pants between kisses. “Eddie—I—” His head falls back and Eddie takes the opportunity to continue his exploration down the exposed line of Buck’s neck.

“Should we talk about this?” Buck finally manages, even as his own hands flirt with the hem of Eddie’s shirt.

Eddie freezes. The answer, of course, is yes. But talking is the last thing he wants to do when part of him still feels chilled to the bone, not wholly alive. He wants to be touched, wants to be consumed, wants to fall into orbit around Buck’s sun and never leave.

And it’s late. Dark. The two of them, the bed, the very room caught in a liminal space where anything could happen, anything could be said, anything could be forgiven. Eddie can’t decide if that’s a good thing or a dangerous one.

His mouth drags along the edge of Buck’s jaw.

“This isn’t because I wanted someone and you happened to be here, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

He doesn’t look at Buck’s face. It’s easier to not, to focus on something else. He stopped going to confession a long time ago, but he never had to look directly at his priest either, always some curtain or other barrier obscuring things, lending the illusion of privacy, anonymity.

“I’m in love with you,” he admits, and Buck’s hands flex on his hips. “I’ve been in love with you. So we can talk about this if you want, but—”

In an instant, Eddie’s on his back, the rest of his sentence swallowed up by the tongue sliding into his mouth. Buck is a warm, solid weight on top of him, pinning him, anchoring him, and Eddie finds he doesn’t mind when it forces him to be in the moment, reminds him that he’s fully in his own body.

“I love you, too,” Buck whispers when the kiss breaks, and then he’s pushing Eddie’s shirt up and off and dispensing with his own—

Shannon was his first. Eddie wasn’t hers and he remembers being glad that at least one of them had some idea of what to do because the second she touched him he was so overwhelmed by sensation that he could hardly think.

This is…not dissimilar. Buck’s chest presses flush against his, all warm, bare skin, and Eddie feels like he could drown in a different way. He arches up, seeking Buck’s mouth again, and Buck obliges.

Eddie’s focus narrows to certain points—the slick slide of Buck’s tongue against his, Buck’s hand ghosting along his ribs, the careful space between their hips and the low burn of heat in his gut that makes him want to close the gap—

His hands slide up Buck’s back slowly, his fingers tracing the knobs of Buck’s spine, the sharp edges of his shoulder blades—they dance along the line of his shoulders too, sketching the breadth that he’s noticed but never allowed his thoughts to linger on. His touch is careful, reverent, as if Buck is a holy thing that his stained, sinner hands have no business touching. Perhaps, in a sense that’s true.

He’s never been a very good Catholic, but sex—sex, desire, love—sex has always been something…sacred to him. In high school, he shied away from the locker room-style conversations about who went how far with whom, kept out of any discussion involving lamentations about still being a virgin at graduation. For one thing, he thought they were usually crass and disrespectful. But mainly he just—he didn’t care about waiting until marriage or anything like that, but he always knew he wanted to be in love. Hence, Shannon. And why there hadn’t been anyone after her.

Until now.

Eddie kisses Buck until his lungs ache, but he’s not close enough, feels like he can’t get close enough. One of his hands slides into Buck’s hair, but the other trails back down, presses lightly on Buck’s lower back as his own hips rock up, seeking friction. Buck swears against his lips and closes the distance—Eddie can feel him hard in his sweatpants and flushes, dizzy at the thought of having made that happen, dizzy at the thought of more, dizzy—

He feels very much like a clumsy teenager again, fumbling his way through on instinct. At least this sort of thing is familiar, even if he hasn’t done it with a man before. Buck grinds their hips together, the friction sending sparks through every one of Eddie’s nerve endings, and kisses down his neck, teeth scraping over his pulse point. Eddie gasps and Buck hums, low and pleased, against his skin.

And then, just as he thinks he’s used to the slow burn of pleasure, Buck shifts his weight and slides a hand down to toy with Eddie’s waistband. Buck meets his eyes in the dark and swallows hard.

“Can I—?”

This time, when Eddie shivers it has nothing to do with the cold.

“Please,” he rasps, and Buck smiles before tugging Eddie’s pants down just enough to wrap his hand around Eddie’s cock.

Buck’s touch is a little tentative at first, clearly unused to the angle, and the part of Eddie that’s still capable of noticing that spends a brief moment feeling grateful that he’s not the only one lacking in experience here. But what Buck may lack in experience, he makes up for in enthusiasm, experimenting with grip and speed and pressure to figure out exactly what to do to make Eddie gasp again, to make him bite his lip, to make him hide his face in Buck’s shoulder to muffle any louder noises he can’t quite hold back.

It doesn’t take long. Even before the shooting, Eddie rarely bothered to touch himself with any sort of regularity, and during his recovery he had even less of a reason to do so, what little energy he had in the first few months better spent elsewhere. He hadn’t realized how badly he needed it. But clearly his body did because his orgasm hits him like a train when Buck spits into his hand for extra glide and twists his wrist on the upstroke. He bites Buck’s shoulder and Buck’s hips jerk and then he’s just floating—boneless, breathless, and utterly wrecked in the best possible way.

Buck collapses on the mattress next to him as Eddie’s catching his breath—Eddie reaches out, his hand skating over Buck’s stomach, and makes a questioning noise. Buck laughs quietly and catches his hand, bringing it to his lips.

“I, uh—I’m good,” Buck promises, and even in the dark Eddie can see his cheeks flush.

Eddie curls into his side. “Really?”

Buck kisses him. “I don’t think you realize how long I’ve wanted to do that. Or how good you look. So, yes, I already—yes. Really.”

Eddie’s lips curve up. He presses a kiss to the edge of Buck’s jaw. As the immediate aftermath wears off, his eyelids start to grow heavy, his limbs moving a little less easily.

“We should probably shower,” he acknowledges, although the strength of the statement is likely diminished by the yawn that interrupts him halfway through.

“Probably,” Buck agrees, but he too makes no move to actually get up.

Pressed against him as he is, Eddie is warm and sated and content. He drifts, skirting the edge of sleep.

“I love you,” he says again. Because it feels important.

Buck hums. If he says something else, it’s too low for Eddie to catch.

When he dreams again, he doesn’t dream of drowning. He doesn’t dream of the cold.

Instead, there’s just light. Just warmth.

Just Buck.

#chapel writes #buddie #buddie fic #eddie diaz #evan buckley #911 fic

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ktinastrikesback · 3 years

Text

Alright, here it is: The meta post about Eddie Diaz and mother figures and how it all leads to Buddie (I think). Thanks to @yramesoruniverse for your help with this, and @kitkatpancakestack and @evanbucklies for inspiring it! I really have been thinking about this nonstop and had to get it all down. This got quite long, so I'll include a cut in order to spare everyone who doesn't want to continue reading!

We first get an idea of Eddie's complicated thoughts surrounding mother figures throughout his whole storyline with Shannon in season 2 when he romantically reconnects with her for Christopher's benefit. I do want to keep the focus here trained on Eddie in season 4, but I want to point out a season 2 line that is pretty fitting. As much as I don't want to use a Shannon quote as a starting point for a meta, I think this one is actually pretty useful: "...Eddie always knows what's best for everyone...God forbid you stop for a second and actually ask them what they need." While it's harsh and spoken out of spite, Shannon does make a point here which becomes relevant at the end of season 4.

We don't know a whole lot about season 4 Eddie (thanks writers) aside from the fact that he's working on being a single father (he tells Marjan in the crossover that he's "doing the whole single dad thing") and being a support system for Buck and the rest of the 118. Eddie's "arc" this season is moving on from Shannon and beginning to date again (a very small and limited arc, which hopefully season 5 will remedy). Of course, because it's Eddie, the core of this arc is him wanting what is best for Christopher. And it seems pretty clear that what Eddie thinks Chris needs is a complete family with a mother figure (note how he asks Bobby if he's "happy now, with Athena and the kids" and just assumes that Bobby is talking about Ana Flores), but the universe pushes against this idea throughout the whole season. There are a lot of examples in season 4 of unreliable mother figures (for example, the alcoholic mother who causes the wreck in Blindsided), but in order to save some space here, I'll list and discuss those in another post. The main thing I want to point out is that we've seen that mother figures aren't always perfect, and they aren't the end all be all that Eddie thinks. And canonically, the show suggests several times throughout the season that the partner that Eddie needs/wants and who is best for Chris is actually Buck.

In Breaking Point, while Eddie is on his date, it's Buck who is at home taking care of Christopher and getting him through his nighttime routine (which establishes that he knows the routine and has gotten Chris ready for bed before, hence the reference to his "cautionary tale"). On the date, when Ana says that no one has been in his life since Shannon passed away, Eddie noticeably looks uncomfortable (the will reveal makes this scene and that particular comment and Eddie's subsequent reaction so rich. Eddie knows that what Ana is saying is completely untrue, because the person he trusts most with his son is with him at that exact moment). Later, when Eddie tells Christopher about his new 'friend', he says "it's a woman." And...to be honest, what the hell was that? He could have said, "I'm dating someone" or "I have a girlfriend." But he says it like this? And it's weird...right? Christopher is the one who has to say "girlfriend." Also his tone of voice when he says it...it's suspicious to me. Anyways...Eddie talks with Ana about Christopher's reaction and her first instinct is to take a break and wait for Christopher to warm up to the idea so as to not cause him more pain. Meanwhile, Chris is out the door, in an Uber, and on his way to Buck, the person who actually gets Chris to talk about his feelings and who fixes the whole mess. So while Eddie is talking with Ana, Buck is playing a parental role AND promising Chris he isn't going anywhere, completely juxtaposing everything Ana has said and done in this episode (throwback to Fools, anyone?). Just like we see in 4x14, the perfect partner that Eddie is looking for is already putting in the work, no questions asked (and this is all before Buck knows about the will!). Yet Eddie is still trying to force it with Ana.

We see this again very briefly in Parenthood. Eddie and Buck are seen agreeing on parenting ideals on a call, similar to how we saw them work together in Future Tense to talk Chris out of playing video games. At the end of the episode however, when Chris asks to join the movie, Ana just jumps ahead and lets him in, not consulting with Eddie. Of course, this isn't a serious issue and Eddie is happy to have Chris join them, but it still carries on with juxtaposing Ana with Buck. It's also a bit interesting that Chris sits between them, parallel to the video game scene from season 3. But again, it's a very brief scene, so I don't know how much value it has overall.

We see all of this come to a head in 4x13 when Eddie becomes invested in the single mother and her son from the balcony call. Interestingly, this call happens after Eddie's conversation with Carla ("make sure you're following your heart"). On the call, Eddie flirts with the mom. This is interesting because we've seen many times in the past that Eddie...doesn't like flirting, especially on the job. Eddie openly flirting with the mom here may be his way of fighting against what his instincts are telling him Carla's comment was about (him liking Buck/a man). Eddie quickly becomes invested in Charlie (the son) and takes a liking to his mother because he relates to her. You can kind of see the gears working in Eddie's head when he's at their apartment...he's admiring her and perhaps maybe fantasizing about having a partner who gets it. And he sees a mother taking care of her son...reinforcing his love for the mother figure. But of course, we all learn by the end of the episode that this mother figure is extremely warped and not at all what her child needs.

The best part about this plot is the way it plays into the shooting scene at the end of the episode. Just before he gets shot, we see Eddie in an interesting framing choice (I am genuinely serious when I say that I want to sit down with Brenna Malloy and ask her about her directing choices for this whole scene):

The mother and son are placed into separate ambulances, and Eddie stands between the two vehicles. Visually, Eddie is literally placed between the mother figure and the son, and Buck is standing in front of him (at a slight distance). As (thank you to @kitkatpancakestack for pointing this out!) the ambulance with the mother drives away, Eddie says "shoulda gotten here sooner" to Buck (who replies, "That kid is just lucky he met you." He knows how to reassure Eddie and recognizes what is good for the child). Then of course, Eddie gets shot. But let's focus instead on why this framing before the shooting is important: the universe does scream, and it sure as hell was screaming at Eddie this whole episode. Carla calls him out for not following his heart, he idolizes this mother only for her to end up being horrid, then he gets shot with his partner standing right in front of him (you know, the same person who takes care of his son for the entirety of the next episode).

This can be read so plainly: Eddie has been fighting hard for what he thinks is best for his son, and he's stuck in this relationship with Ana because he thinks she is what will make Christopher happy. Meanwhile, Buck is in front of him and has been there the entire time putting in the work with Chris and making him feel heard, loved, and important. This ties right back to that Shannon line: if Eddie had simply asked Christopher what he needs/wants, it's very possible that his answer would be "Buck." Eddie doesn't need to be stuck in the middle of this relationship he doesn't care about because Chris' happiness is not dependent on having a mother figure.

Of course, we didn't see very much of Eddie in 4x14 so we don't really know what is going through his head regarding the shooting or Carla's comment just yet, but I'm hoping we see a lot of him working through all of the events that took place in 4x13/14 throughout next season. Because of the way the mother/son storyline ended up and the way they framed Eddie in the shooting scene, I'm willing to bet that he's going to be reevaluating just what Christopher needs and what he already has (with his Buck).

(Also side note--the welcome home party scene...when Buck is watching Eddie greet Christopher, notice the framing there too. The photo of Chris and Shannon is on the right side of the frame, Eddie and Chris in the middle, and Buck to the left. You already know what I'm going to say, so I'll leave it at that...)

Anyways. Edmundo Diaz is confused about what he and Christopher need, and it's actually a brilliant way to dive into a storyline about his sexuality and his feelings for Buck. Remember that post-finale interview with Tim where he said Eddie is always concerned with what's best for Christopher? That there will be a lot to explore with Eddie? I take everything Tim says with a grain of salt, but looking at all of this, there's quite a bit here pointing in the direction of pining Eddie. It's not wishful thinking, it's in the text.

I'm literally just applying basic film analysis to these scenes...and everything is adding up to a larger picture. I'm really excited to see what Eddie's arc in season 5 will be because there's so much set in place for it to be really great.

#buddie #911 fox #eddie diaz #evan buckley #christopher diaz #meta #mother figures #part one?#I have more to say but will save for another post #buddie canon s5 idc

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buckleyblueyes · 3 years

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if you're doing the soft prompts thing, could i request " i knew you wouldn't go to sleep willingly, so i brought you some chamomile tea and a blanket. twenty minutes of shut-eye, okay? " + buddie? preferably post shooting but whatever you like, thank you ❤

At long last! I am finally filling this prompt! It didn't turn out to be a recovery fic, but it's definitely impacted by the events of 4x14, so I really hope you like it! It's very soft.

Buck is being ridiculous. Absolutely irrational. He’s well aware of this fact. And yet, he finds his thumb hovering over the call button.

It’s not like it’s Christopher’s first sleepover. He’s eleven years old, of course it’s not. It’s not his first sleepover since the pandemic, either, or since Eddie was shot. He’s had quite a few since then, actually. It’s not even his first sleepover since he and Eddie went from work partners to life partners.

But it is Christopher’s first sleepover since Buck moved in with them. The first time he spent his evening cooking dinner for only two. The first time he didn’t have to help with homework or watch a movie that Christopher picked out. The first time in a month that Buck has had to go to sleep without kissing his head goodnight.

And sure, there were good parts. There are certain benefits to being alone with his boyfriend and not having to worry about being unknowingly interrupted by an eleven year old. But it’s nearly midnight now and all that’s left to do is sleep--or at least, pretend to sleep while actually staring at the ceiling and wait for a panicked middle of the night call because something went wrong.

He’s sitting up in the bed he and Eddie now share, phone in hand, willing himself not to call Christopher and check in. He knows Christopher is a pre-teen now, that he’s probably having a great time, that his calling would just be embarrassing, and probably (hopefully) wake him up. He sighs, tossing his phone down on the empty pillow beside him. It’s going to be a long night.

Eddie is supposed to be in bed with him, and he’s sure being alone is making it worse. He’s not even sure where Eddie is--he said he would follow Buck to bed after getting some water and brushing his teeth--but it’s been a little too long for just teeth brushing, so Buck has a feeling his boyfriend is up to something. His suspicions are confirmed a moment later when he hears the tea kettle whistling. Odd, considering the tea kettle is Buck’s, something he brought with him when he moved in--Eddie isn’t a big tea drinker, usually only drinking it when he’s sick, preferring to caffeinate with coffee.

Buck only has to wonder what Eddie is doing for a few moments before Eddie shuffles into their bedroom, a blanket Buck recognizes from Christopher’s bed piled under one arm and a steaming mug in the other hand.

“Whatcha got there?” Buck asks, glad for a distraction at least.

“Well,” Eddie sets the mug down on Buck’s bedside table. “I knew you wouldn’t go to sleep willingly, so I brought you some chamomile tea and a blanket.” He tosses the blanket at Buck’s face. It smells like Christopher’s no-tears kid shampoo, and Buck inhales deeply. “Twenty-minutes of shut-eye, okay?”

Buck spreads the twin sized blanket out over his side of the bed. “You made me tea?”

Eddie rolls his eyes. “Are you or are you not going over every possible worst case scenario in your head right now?”

“Uh.” Buck swallows, sheepish. “Maybe?”

“Exactly.” Eddie crawls into bed next to Buck, picks up Buck’s phone from his pillow, stretches to place it next to the mug, and finally wraps an arm around him. “I just want to help you relax.”

“Even though I’m being totally irrational?” Buck asks, leaning into Eddie’s embrace.

“Yup.” Eddie drops a kiss onto the top of Buck’s head. “I remember Christopher’s first sleepover. I sent that mom so many emails. And then I didn’t sleep at all, I was just waiting for something to go wrong.”

“But he was younger then, and this isn’t his first--”

“It’s your first, though.” Eddie cuts him off. “I know you’ve loved him for a long time, but this is the first night since you moved in that he hasn’t been here.”

Buck sips his tea and grips the blanket a little tighter. “I miss him.”

Eddie chuckles, low and warm. “I know.”

“Do you ever...get used to this feeling?” Buck asks carefully.

“If you mean, will you ever stop worrying about him when you’re not around to protect him, the answer is no,” Eddie shakes his head. “That’s what being a parent is.”

“I’m not a--”

“Evan, you better not have been about to say you’re not a parent,” Eddie says, voice so firm and serious that Buck has no choice but to listen. “You’ve loved Christopher like he was your own since before we were even dating. You take care of him, you worry about him, you always help him when he needs it.”

Buck’s heart feels like it’s about to burst out of his chest. “Of course--of course I love him so much, but you’re his dad. But it’s not like I’m--maybe if we were--but I’m just your boyfriend.”

“Maybe if we were what?” Eddie narrows his eyes. “If we were married?”

Buck’s throat is dry. Sometimes he really hates how easily Eddie can read him. “Uh.”

“Because we could do that,” Eddie continues. “If that’s something you want.”

And now Buck’s brain is short-circuiting. “Is it something you want?”

Eddie bites his lip. “I didn’t think it was, not after Shannon. But…” He sighs. “I told Chimney once that tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone, and I know that you’re it for me, and it’s not like Shannon and I had much of a wedding anyway, so it might be nice to, I don’t know, do it right? If it’s what you want.”

“I do,” Buck answers hastily. “Want that. I already know we’re forever, but I think it would...help. With some of my doubts. If we made it official.”

Eddie beams. “Then I guess we’re getting married.”

Buck can’t quite remember how to breathe. There are so many words he wants to say, but none of them seem right, so he just pulls Eddie into a soft kiss, which Eddie reciprocates eagerly. “I love you so much,” he murmurs when he pulls back. “Of course I want to marry you.”

“I love you so much, too.” Eddie presses a kiss to his temple, and then one to his jaw, and a few to his neck.

They fall into a comfortable silence for a few moments, the only sounds in the room the sounds of soft breaths and Buck sipping on his tea.

“Are you feeling better?” Eddie asks, breaking the silence.

Buck considers this for a moment. There’s still worry gnawing at him, but he feels less silly about it now. And most of him is simply overwhelmed with happiness. “Yeah, yeah I am.”

“Good.” Eddie gives a brisk nod. “Now shut up, drink your leaf water, and go to sleep.”

“Actually, chamomile tea is made with the blossoms of the--”

“Buck.”

#buddie #this is SO domestic #idk how this prompt turned into a lowkey proposal fic???????#but here we are #I just liked the idea of Buck being worried about Christopher #buddie fanfic #buddie fic #buddie drabble #my fan fiction

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panicatthediaz · 3 years

Note

40 (almost kiss) + 54 (secret relationship)? 🥰

Being in bed at 12:00 am will not stop me, I guess. Bonus Getting Together, I guess. Spent 3 or so hours at this. Ops.

Post S4. This is a disgusting amount of fluff. Unbeta'd (but self proof-read) as I wrote this from 12 am to 3:30 am.

On AO3

Years In The Making

Not that he believed it, but he was sure most people around him would say it was meant to be; something fated somewhere to happen somehow. Eddie didn't really believe that.

What he did believe was that they may have been too afraid (or maybe too repressed, in his case) to see what was going on, what had been growing for a long while. Years, maybe?

But getting shot (again) had given him a good shake, and he could say he'd been almost disappointed to see Ana by his bedside. No fault of her own, of course not, but...

He was pretty sure of what he wanted at that moment.

Breaking things off with her hadn't been that difficult, or painful, a couple of weeks after his return home. Ana's disappointment was clear, but she seemed to know as well as he did that they weren't going anywhere as a couple. With a promise to stay in touch, she walked out of his home one last time.

Now all he had to do was talk to Buck.

Buck had been cagey for the first few days when Eddie had asked him about Taylor. It took about a week and a couple of beers for him to blurt out, "She kissed me then ran out." He fidgeted for a couple of minutes. "Then she came back and we talked through it."

Eddie's heart sank, but he still put on a smile for the sake of his friend (if that was all that he would be for Buck, he'd make do). "And?"

"And we are at very different stages when it comes to romance." Buck shrugged, but the tiny frown was right there between his brows. "She became a good friend, but damn, we wouldn't have lasted as a couple."

Buck finished his beer and turned to Eddie, though not looking beyond the water bottle he was holding in his one good hand.

"She, uh... She isn't quite who I want." Buck cleared his throat, abruptly standing up and walking away from the dining table to place his empty bottle in the recyclable bin. "How is Ana, by the way?"

Eddie accepted the deflection well enough, watching as Buck stood by the doorway with his arms crossed, a stance that tried to project calm. Eddie doubted he was anywhere near it; he never enjoyed talking about failed relationships (including those that never took off).

"We broke up last week," he replied easily, standing up to refill his bottle in the kitchen. "Don't worry," he added, seeing the wide-eyed surprise (and dare he say, hope?) in Buck's expression. "It was pretty amicable and even. We both saw we weren't going to get anywhere and decided to split."

"Okay," Buck whispered, following him into the kitchen. "You okay?"

Eddie nodded, smiling. "Yeah, I'm fine." Though he had to ask... "Who is it?" Buck's confused, scrunched-up expression was pretty damn cute, making him look a little bit more like the Golden Retriever pup Hen and Chimney often compared him to. "You said Taylor isn't who you want, so who is it?"

"Eddie," he said on a groan, though he simply leaned against the counter instead of answering.

"See," Eddie spoke with a new bout of confidence (maybe just as ill-placed as the excitement he was starting to feel), standing against the sink across from Buck. "I'm kind of hoping for a specific answer here."

Buck didn't reply. Eddie had barely even noticed a shift in Buck's expression before he moved into his space, pressing a hard kiss against his lips, a huge contrast to how softly his hands cradled his head and how careful he was to not press against the sling and his injured shoulder.

Eddie wasn't sure if the bottle ended up on the sink or on the floor by their feet. What mattered was that he managed to get his hand on Buck's neck, drawing him even closer.

(Not that Buck let either of them press too close, and god, he loved him.

And he was distantly aware that he should be at least a little freaked out over the thought after one kiss - their first kiss - but, well... Years in the making and all that.)

One kiss became two, became many, and Eddie could see the same feelings reflected in Buck's blue eyes. Belonging, a finally and a home.

There was no need to go beyond kissing and cuddling, both of them content to sit even closer together, hands intertwined whenever they could.

It was... Soft in a way Eddie hadn't had in so long, intimate in ways he thought he wouldn't experience.

And they weren't subtle, weren't actively trying to keep anything a secret. Eddie was still off work, doing his PT as he should and Buck had been staying at his house (their home, he couldn't help but think every time) since Eddie got out of the hospital anyway.

But two months passed and the only two people aware of the change in their relationship were Christopher and Carla because they found them cuddled up on the couch, Eddie knocked out by painkillers and then too out of it to deny anything when his son questioned him about it.

(Christopher had simply nodded with a mumbled "Good" and left it at that. They still had no idea what that was about.)

The sling had come off a few days ago, though he still couldn't do that much, and it was driving Eddie up a wall. Buck was at the station, and he didn't want to think about the conniption he'd have if he drove there.

He knocked on Christopher's bedroom door, opening it slowly to see his son smiling at him from where he sat with his book.

"Hey, buddy." It was impossible not to smile back, feeling the all-encompassing warmth at the fact that he was still here, could see his son growing up for a while longer. "What do you say we pay a visit to the station?"

The frown he got for that was so much like Shannon's that he didn't know what to do with the pang in his chest. There was no guilt, not then, over the fact he missed her. He just did, she should be able to see how much their kid was growing, how much like her he could be sometimes. And maybe she was, if the afterlife turned out to be a thing after all.

"You are not supposed to drive."

And that tone was way too much like Buck's, just this morning, for Eddie to hold back his laughter.

"I was thinking we could take an Uber." He shrugged with his left shoulder. He might have been desperate to get out of the house, but he wasn't stupid; he didn't want pain and he didn't want to end up lectured by the entire team once he got there. "What do you say?"

Christopher considered it for a moment, then placed his bookmark and got up. "Let's go!"

"You better not have come in your car, Eddie!"

He rolled his eyes at the very much expected exclamation as Christopher giggled beside him.

"Don't worry, Buck," the kid said, walking ahead as Buck came downstairs. "I didn't let him drive."

"Thank God for you, kid," Buck said, kneeling on one knee to give Chris a hug. "Your dad is stubborn, he probably would have driven here if it weren't for you."

"Hey!" There was no real annoyance in his protest, but Eddie still said, "I get enough sass from my kid, don't you start, too."

Buck, in such a show of maturity, stuck out his tongue at him before turning to Christopher once again.

"Come on, buddy, let's go see the fun people."

Chris' laughter echoed in the station, and Eddie let the light atmosphere carry him upstairs to the loft where he was greeted by the rest of the team with hugs, and some friendly pats on (thankfully) his uninjured shoulder.

Chimney and Hen immediately walked with Christopher to the pinball machine, and Bobby had given him a plate of leftover breakfast to carry wherever he ended up sitting.

He chose the couch, where Buck had already made himself comfortable again and was currently watching the trio at the machine. They could hear Hen encouraging Chris to beat Chim's high score.

"Hey you," Buck greeted softly, an arm going around his shoulders as Eddie adjusted himself.

"Hey yourself." Buck glanced at the other side of the loft, then pressed a quick peck to his lips. Apparently, everyone was sufficiently distracted. "How are you?"

"So far so good." He took one of the biscuits from Eddie's plate, quickly popping it into his mouth as if Eddie hadn't sat here to share them. "I'd ask how your day is going, but it's obvious you're bored out of your mind."

Eddie groaned, letting his head fall back against Buck's arm. He was beyond bored, at this point, and no amount of movies or video games had helped. Buck's chuckle beside him was another pretty good incentive to get out of the house.

He turned his head to face him, his own expression undoubtedly soft as he took in the man that had been by his side for so long and for so many things already.

Buck's expression softened even more, somehow, his smile bright as the sun and even warmer. He leaned closer and-

And what sounded like a very undignified squeak interrupted their almost-kiss, causing Eddie to huff in mild annoyance and turn around.

Chimney stood by the dining table, gaping at them. Bobby was still in the kitchen and turned to look at them at the sound of Chimney's squeak.

"What's wrong, Chim?" Hen asked, frowning all the way from the pinball machine (where Christopher continued to play).

"They..." He gestured between the two of them. "Since when are you two together?!" He ignored Hen's own surprised exclamation. "They were about to kiss!"

"Yeah," Eddie confirmed, nonchalantly making himself comfortable in Buck's arms in the new position so he could look at the rest of their team. "And you had to ruin the mood."

Buck hid his face in his hair, and Eddie could hear the quiet snickering. They really thought the others would have caught up after two months of visiting Eddie at least once every few days.

"What about Ana?"

"We broke up two months ago, man."

"And Taylor?"

"Dude, we never started dating in the first place." The exasperation was clear in Buck's voice. "She's really just a friend."

Chimney nodded, satisfied for the time being. They had no doubt that there would be more questions later.

"When did this even happen?" Hen asked this time, walking over with Christopher.

"Two months ago," Chris answered before either of them could, smiling a little too innocently. "A week or something after Dad broke up with Miss Flores."

Eddie had no idea Christopher knew that level of details, but he had definitely been out of it when he told him. Maybe he said more than he remembered.

"Well," Bobby finally spoke up, walking over to their little family unit on the couch, now that Christopher was tucked on Eddie's other side. "I'm happy for you two." Eddie could feel whatever tension had been on Buck's body (not that there was much in the first place) drain out of him at Bobby's words. "And we can deal with HR and paperwork once you're back at the station," he added, directed at Eddie. Bobby's smile was genuinely warm, putting him even further at ease.

Years in the making. Maybe it was obvious to everyone else, but Eddie wouldn't change a thing about the road they took to get here. It had been hard and full of hurt, but what they had was solid and them and it was definitely worth it all.

Including the cheering, clapping, and whistles of everyone else when Buck pressed a kiss to his lips right there and then simply because he could.

#9-1-1 #Evan Buckley #Eddie Diaz #9-1-1 on fox #buddie #my writing #911 #911 on fox #I have no idea how many words this is #it just happened #WeresWriting

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deluweil · 3 years

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So as a request was made yesterday for the 3x18 buddie this is my choice of Eddie gif (read gifs coz this may get a little long) for today:

We’ve covered the five stages of Eddie’s reaction yesterday which was - “Oh shit this is Abby, she is rude and ginger (for Dr. Who fans;) ), bitch has a fiancé and will now get my man killed because she knows he is really a big marshmallow inside and will probably get himself killed just so that she can be happy, I hate her.”

If that wasn’t enough, Buck made a stupid promise to Abby (which seriously, any rookie knows -be it a doctor, a teacher or a first responder - you do not make promises you aren’t 100% sure you can keep, and really even then, don’t.) and as we learn later Eddie knew about that. Either he hung back and waited for Buck to join him, or Buck told him himself, Eddie now knows that this is going to turn dangerous, because Buck, bless his big reckless heart, will do whatever it takes to fulfil that promise, one way or the other, and I bet you all Eddie was praying all the way up the car that 1. the dude is alive and 2. no dangerous rescue will be needed.

But of course that wasn’t the case, as luck would have it this turned into one life or another and Eddie was put in a position where he’s the one as the medic who has to make the choice. And you can see on his face how much he hates the fact that Bobby puts him in this position because, he has to be the one to look into Buck’s baby blue eyes and tell him that he may have to break that promise.

Moving on Buck continues to insist on saving both Sam and the girl and comes up with one of the craziest ideas ever (it worked, who am I to judge?;)) and really “I know this is a lot heavier than a firetruck”? I wanted to hit Buck over the head!

This was pretty much the breaking point for Eddie, in my opinion. Eddie who was there when the truck exploded, who had to stand and watch his friend, his best friend being crushed by a firetruck, not two weeks (was it?) after losing Shannon and not being able to go help him, because of some crazy kid and a bomb.

Who was there for the silent tears, and the defeated “kinda numb” and the screaming that followed while trying to get the truck off his leg, and the race to the hospital.

Why 9-1-1 writers chose for Carla, Maddie and Ali to be the first faces he saw when awake is beyond me.

We all know it was supposed to be, either the entire team or Eddie and Christopher. Chimney got Christopher, why not Buck? Who is way WAY closer to the Diaz boys than Chimney.

But, I digress. Eddie was not down with his partner sacrificing himself for the woman who hurt him and left him, and moved on without so much as a word.

This scene up there has been the talk of the fandom for ages, because obviously Eddie's face is contorted in a way that can be construed in so many ways.

At this point I think Eddie was expecting Buck to level with Bobby, to tell him the truth. And when Buck doesn't, Eddie is at the end of his rope, because Buck just lied to Bobby, fully expecting Eddie to do the same thing.

But Eddie knew that Bobby was the only one with the authority to stop Buck’s crazy plan, so he brilliantly (in my opinion anyway) threw Buck under the bus in the hopes that Bobby will see that this is an emotionally based decision and refuse Buck’s plea to go outside the car.

Also knowing that he had no control over the situation, Eddie wasn’t just frustrated at his friend’s refusal to see reason, he was hurt that his voice, his own plea to Buck to not go through with the plan was not heard.

And yes he was angry that Abby still had such a sway over Buck, because in his opinion (and really everybody else’s) she should have lost that a long time ago.

So really Eddie didn’t have anything else to do but sit back and watch this disastrous conversation with Bobby taking place knowing that their captain is going to lose because really Buck is too stubborn and persuasive for his own good. (Also Bobby is sort of useless when associated with Buck, just saying.)

So he storms off, making his displeasure known quite effectively (and yes dramatically), but really he couldn’t very well turn to his Not-Currently-His-Boyfriend and yell at his face that he shouldn’t be doing this for that ungrateful bitch who up and left him and came back with a fiancé. That Eddie didn’t want to lose him and how the hell is he supposed to go home and tell Christopher that “His Buck” isn’t coming back barely a year after losing his mother. - That'd just be unprofessional. ;)

Obviously, once it was decided that Buck will be going out there, Eddie was completely with him, watching his back as best as he can, he even made it out of the train after the rescue, as quickly as possible, to be at Buck’s side (front) when Abby and Sam were loaded into the ambulance.

(my take on that scene is in last night’s post.)

Through the buddie goggles again:

- Before I sum up this rescue and the rest of the episode, there is one thing everyone were overlooking - Buck’s mind was made up the second he learned that Sam was a father.

Eddie and Bobby lost the argument before it started because Sam was a dad with two daughters waiting for him at home. - In my opinion, it wasn’t about Abby at this point, it was about Eddie and Christopher.

Even Buck’s argument wasn’t about Sam being Abby’s fiancé, it was about him having two daughters. 🤔🤔

I can go on forever about this episode simply because it was SO GOOD, buy it is 3:20am here so I will leave you with this little gem:

The biggest Buddie gem wasn’t during the rescue, it was at the wrapping song of this episode at May’s party.

The song - Only You is playing in the background and among the couples taking pictures together Eddie and Buck show up too not once, but twice.

Wow this turned out a hell of a lot longer than I planned 😅 if you made it this far, thank you 💕💕💕

hope you enjoyed this. ❤❤❤

#eddie diaz #one Eddie pic a day #more like a montage this time 😅#this got away from me #a little 😂#evan buckley #bobby knows #buddie #9-1-1 #9 1 1 on fox #9 1 1 3x18 #somebody teach me how to do under a cut so I won't cover too much of your dashboard 🙏#hope you like it #if you have any requests for eddie and/or buddie lmk #😘😘😘

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cowboy-eddie · 3 years

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TUMBLR EXCLUSIVE: Buck, Eddie and the Bed Dilemma

A short little story I didn’t want to post to AO3 and it made me chuckle so hopefully it makes you chuckle too!

Buck, Eddie and the Bed Dilemma.

Bobby stood at the top of the stairs, hands on his hips. If he didn’t know any better, he’d think his team was arguing. Silently. Buck and Chim sat on one side of the room, heads together as they talked, while Hen and Eddie sat at the kitchen island, occasionally glancing back toward the other pair as they texted- a much more subtle way of talking. Bobby sighed.

“Okay, what’s going on? Does anyone want to tell me or is it up to me to figure it out?”

Everyone glanced at each other, Buck and Eddie briefly making eye contact as though to challenge each other, and Bobby groaned.

“Buck and Eddie, my office. Now.”

The pair groaned but got up, looking to Hen and Chim for help. Neither offered support, shrugging as they got up to join back together. Buck and Eddie followed Bobby into his office and Bobby closed the door as an afterthought.

“This is a safe space, so whatever is going on, it’s okay to voice it.”

“He farts in his sleep!”

“He sleeptalks!”

Bobby’s eyes widened. The one thing he’d always tried to avoid was getting in the middle of a Buddie argument. Oh dear.

“Okay, so you’re not talking to each other because… you fart in your sleep, and you sleep talk?”

“Yes!” Buck and Eddie exclaimed at the same time.

“Cap, I get all comfortable at night, ready to snuggle down, but I can’t because I’m scared I’m gonna suffocate with all the toxic gas in the room!”

“How am I supposed to sleep if you’re babbling in my ear all night, huh Buck?” Eddie snapped. Bobby took a seat at his desk, furrowing his brows.

“Have you tried sleeping apart?”

“That’s a one way ticket to a break up, Cap, you know that,” Buck said and Bobby frowned as he looked at Eddie who quickly agreed.

“Shannon started refusing to share the bed with me and next thing I know, she’s packing her bags.”

The brief thought of Eddie’s trust issues crossed Bobby’s mind, before he cleared his throat.

“Buck, sleep talking can sometimes be caused when you’re stressed-“

“-he sleep talks every night, Cap.”

“Maybe I’m extra stressed because I have to hold my breath all night!” Buck huffed. His arms crossed and Bobby saw the petulant child look on his face before Buck 2.5-ish kicked in.

“You guys seriously can’t sort this out yourselves?”

Buck and Eddie threw their hands in the air.

“If we could, do you think we would?” Eddie asked and Bobby winced. Okay, Mr Matter of Fact.

“If we could just have one night where I’m not scared of dying, that would be great,” Buck said. Eddie glared.

“Yeah? Maybe if you weren’t so chatty we might actually get through!” He shot back. Bobby looked between them, back and forth for a moment, before he raised his hands in surrender.

“Okay you two, go to the bunks and get some sleep. Even just an hour of rest and these problems will look like tiny hiccups. Separate beds just in case I wasn’t clear.”

Buck and Eddie looked at each other helplessly almost as though now they wanted to argue with Bobby instead of each other. Their heads both dipped and Bobby watched them open the door to the bunk room. He knew Buck could be a little whiny when he was low on sleep, but he’d never seen Eddie stoop that low. It just made him laugh; everyone on the team knew Buck sleep talked and they were very aware not to sleep on the bunk above Eddie for the very reason Buck was ready to fight today.

Hen and Chim were sitting on the couch playing cards with the probie when Bobby came out of his office. The probie glanced up, brows furrowing.

“Buck and Diaz are finally going to sleep?”

“Yeah.”

“Everyone knows Eddie gets a little gassy after taco night, and Buck talks in his sleep, but I didn’t think they’d ever have a fight about it,” Hen said. She smacked her hand down on the pile of cards absentmindedly, both Chim and the probie groaning (were they seriously playing Snap?!) as she won the game. They dealt out another round of cards, Bobby sighing.

“I think it was more exhaustion than irritation. Buck and therapy aren’t doing so great right now and Eddie is-“

“-Eddie,” Chim and Hen said at the same time, while the probie furrowed her brows.

“What do you mean Eddie is Eddie? He’s kind of an ass sometimes but he’s hilarious.”

“Wait until he gets comfortable with you- hey!” Hen swiped her card back off the pile when Chim tried to win. He glared and she turned to the probie.

“Eddie is a great guy; he’s a loyal friend, great dad, good listener, but he’s definitely not teddy bear material.”

“Anyway. The moral of the story is they are both asleep in the bunks so if we could not wake them for at least a couple hours that would be great.”

“You got it, Cap,” Chimney said absentmindedly, all his attention on the game.

“And for my sake, please play Go Fish or something with a little more intellectual ability needed.”

The rustling of sheets stirred Buck from his doze and he lifted his head just enough to see Eddie’s form climbing into his bed beside him. Buck shifted over and waited until Eddie was comfortable before tossing a leg between Eddie’s, moving to rest his head on his chest.

“I’m sorry I said you fart in your sleep,” Buck murmured and Eddie laughed.

“You may have been right. I’m sorry I said you talk too much in your sleep.”

“You could have a point there. I’m glad you’re here.”

For being a tiny single bed pressed up against a wall, the pair made the most of the small space and intertwined all limbs possible. Eddie pressed his hand against Buck’s back, dipping his hand down lower.

“So, listen, about your sleep talking…”

“Hm?”

“You also sleep hump.”

“Oh, come on, I do not-“

You can find my AO3 at CallMeG, where I publish 9-1-1 fics relatively often :)

#Eddie Diaz #Evan Buckley #Buck #911 #911 on fox #Buddie

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