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crow-talks-hockey · 2 years

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Do I Wanna Know? - an 829 fic from both Nate and Cale's POV (pt 1) [slowburn into established relationship]

Nate had been surprised to say the least when Cale had shown up. He’d had no idea who the kid even was, and Nate wasn’t quick to trust anyone’s skill or ability to fit in with the team. It wasn’t that he was rude or anything, he was just defensive. People had to prove themselves to him, and Cale had passed the test with flying colors; immediately. It was impressive, really. First shift, first goal, and in the playoffs of all things. Cale had only excelled since and Nate’s admiration and love for the defenseman had grown, too.

It hadn’t been an immediate thing, Nate’s feelings toward the defenseman. It’d been slow, filled with confusion and denial. And it had all started about a year after Cale had joined their organization. Nate had been completely oblivious, unsuspecting. Maybe that was why he still remembered the exact moment he’d fallen in love with defenseman Cale Makar.

They’d been in the locker room after a win against the Blues, celebrating and Nate had looked over at Cale. His cheeks had been so red, his hair spiky with perspiration, his smile was something Nate would have killed for. Cale had sat down next to Toews and started untying his skates, like everyone else. But Cale wasn’t just everyone else. He smiled as he slipped off his skates, chatting with Devon and laughing. Devon had said something and the defenseman had thrown his head back in that same dry laughter he’d always had. It was in that moment that admiration had hit Nate like a truck. He couldn’t stop staring, he’d completely abandoned the task of redressing and Landy had needed to rattle Nate’s shoulders to get him to snap out of it.

“Nate?” the captain had asked.

Cale met eyes with Nate and he finally looked away. Shit, Nate thought. He turned to Landy quickly. “What?”

Landy looked over at Makar and back to him a couple times, he pursed his lips but didn’t say anything. Nate swore, if the captain brought up him and EJ, Nate might actually strangle him. He just wanted to ditch the feeling and go, not like it meant anything anyway. Cale couldn’t be an option. Cale wasn’t an option. “You zoned out,” Landy stated blankly.

“So? I’m just tired, that’s all,” said Nate with a shrug and he stood.

Landy’s cool blue eyes followed him as he left, Nate could feel the intention and hear it in his captain’s words and he wasn’t having any of it. He quickly exited Ball Arena and clambered into his car. He sat behind the wheel, key hovering at the starter. He paused, threw his keys into the cup holder and leaned back, rubbing his hands across his face tiredly. What was happening? He and Cale were friends, but not… they’d never even… No. Nate started his car and drove home, trying not to think about the defenseman. However, rationalizing that Cale could never reciprocate wasn’t working, because, well, Nate wanted Cale to reciprocate.

It was like someone had flipped a switch and now all Nate could think of was the way Cale’s cheeks flushed deep red during games, the way he smiled so wide. Nate couldn’t stop. He’d gotten home and immediately gone to sleep, eager to throw out any notions of Cale for the rest of the night, even though this new part of him didn’t want to. Not in the slightest. That part of him wanted to think about him constantly. Wanted to hear his voice, even feel his touch. It was consuming. So, Nate had forced it from his mind. The second he’d woken up, Nate had gone out for a crisp morning run and cleared his head.

That had worked, surprisingly enough, for the next few days. He’d been able to play and chat with Cale like normal, well, almost normal. Sure, Nate’s eyes strayed too often and too long to Cale now, but that meant nothing. Nate just wanted to be closer to him. That didn’t mean he was in love, or anything. That was what he told himself, at least. Then, one night, Landy had shown up at his door unexpectedly. Nate had let him in, unassuming.

“So,” Landy had started, sitting down on the couch a couple cushions away from the couch, “how are you?”

“Stop the bullshit, Landy. Just say what you wanna say.”

Landy pursed his lips and nodded, a bit apprehended. “You and Cale.”

“What about him?”

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed the way you look at him. I was the same way with EJ. It killed me to see EJ flirting with other guys, the way he acted with other teammates. It ate me alive, so I tried to deny it all. We all know how that worked out,” said Landy with a faint smile.

Nate shook his head. “I’m not you, and I’m not in love with Cale—” Nate stood, frustrated at Landy acting like he knew exactly how he felt, he didn’t— “We’re just friends. Is it suddenly wrong for me to want to be better friends with him? And even if I did like him, it’s not like he’d love me back. I’ve seen him going on dates with girls before, I’m not an option.”

Landy laughed and raised a brow. “I wouldn’t say just girls, Nate.”

Nate stopped dead in his tracks. No, he’s just messing with you… he wouldn’t— Wait, why was he even considering the option? He wasn’t in love. Nate desperately scrambled for something to break the awkward silence, something that might save his contemplative silence and make Landy think he wasn’t considering Cale being not straight. “What do you mean?” was all Nate could come up with.

“I mean, I know my team and I know Cale.” Landy stood and picked up his jacket, he turned back to Nate. “Think it over,” Landy told Nate with a wink and was gone.

Nate stood in his living room, mouth slightly agape. What did this mean?

~~~

Cale had noticed when Nate started hanging around with him more. It had started a few weeks ago, on that day where Cale had looked up to find the forward’s gaze on him. It was weird, if Cale was being honest, but maybe he was just the one acting weird about it. Nate probably just wanted to be closer friends with him, Cale should be honored. Nate was already pretty touchy with all his team, but being good friends with him? That meant actually getting to know him closer, it meant getting to go out to a bar or to his house to hang out on the off days. Nate didn’t let just anyone do that.

Yet, something still felt off to Cale. Like, Nate was trying to get closer to him for no reason. He was friends with him, sure, but this seemed different. Nate acted differently, closed off like he was trying to impress Cale. It was honestly starting to worry him, so he'd called Landy over and they’d talked.

They’d sat down at Cale’s kitchen table and Cale had fired away with all the questions he wanted. “I don’t understand him, Landy. It’s like he wants to actually form a relationship but he’s so distant. We’ll hang out and it’s like he’s still forty feet away from me. I don’t know what he wants from me.”

Landy had listened through it all, nodding and paying as much attention to all the questions Cale asked as he could. When Cale had finished, he’d paused for a moment before speaking. “Cale, you like guys, right?”

Cale had stopped, confused, he felt his cheeks heat a bit. “Yeah, a little, I guess… how’d you know?”

“I know my teammates. And I’ve seen the way you try your best to look away from us in the locker room when we’re shirtless, and I’ve noticed how awfully you fail.”

“Hey, it’s not that bad, is it?”

Landy shook his head with a laugh. “No, no, EJ’s infinitely worse. Believe me. I couldn’t get him to not look at me if I tried, but that’s beside the point. My point is, Nate likes you.”

“He what?”

Cale’s mind was reeling. Why would Nate like him? That wasn’t possible. Cale put his head in his hands. He rubbed them across his face and stared at Landy, searching for any hint that he was lying. Landy had to be kidding.

But Cale knew his captain, and his captain wouldn’t make jokes about this. Not when he knew… not when he knew that Cale had put his feelings for Nate aside over a year ago. Cale’s captain stood and tucked his kitchen chair back in. “He likes you, Cale. Now, all I have to ask you is: do you still, too?”

Cale sat there shell-shocked as Landy set his cup of coffee in Cale’s sink. He forced himself to stand and show Landy the way out. He waved his goodbye to him and quickly shut the door behind him. Cale sank to the floor, head back against his door and he pulled out his phone. He opened his messaging app and found Devon’s contact. He typed without thinking.

Hey, uhm… Devon? I…

Cale’s thoughts were screaming. I think Nate likes me. His fingers hesitated over the message, Cale debating if he should type more or if he should even tell Devon at all. No. He backspaced his text and swiftly clicked off his phone, slipping it back into his pocket. Cale sighed. What was he going to do? He couldn’t pressure Nate for anything, and Cale himself wasn’t even sure if he felt the same way for the forward anymore, either.

Landy had to be wrong, that was it; plain and simple. He must have just misread Nate’s feelings and that was the end of it. Cale didn’t want to think about how perfectly it all fit. Nate’s odd behavior around him, the way he actually held back from touching him. It all made sense, but Cale didn’t care. Nate couldn’t possibly love him and Cale couldn’t love Nate. End of story. Landy was wrong, just like Cale had been when he’d first fallen for Nate.

~~~

Nate had barely slept the next couple of days. Landy’s words repeated over and over in his mind like some curse, a dangerous notion that Nate couldn’t ditch even though he wanted to. As if that wasn’t bad enough, Cale had stopped talking with him. They’d played and practiced like normal, but it was like Cale knew because the defenseman had become cruelly distant. It was like torture. Any time Cale had denied going out to eat or had only briefly and awkwardly conversed with Nate, it felt like a knife was being driven through Nate’s chest.

Soon enough, it was affecting the way he thought during games. All the sudden, if Cale didn’t pass to him it was an intentional jab at Nate. If Cale even looked at him, Nate felt like he’d done something wrong. What was worse was that Cale hadn’t even really changed. Sure, he might not want to hang out, but that might be because he had other plans. Nate felt stupid, more than that, he was pissed. Pissed at Landy for toying with him, he felt childish. It was such a dumb thing, too. Landy had just wanted to help, he’d seen how Nate was acting and he’d talked it through with him. It was a nice gesture from a long time friend, something Nate usually wouldn’t have thought twice about if Landy were to be talking about something else, anyone else.

So, Nate had given Cale his space. Turns out, that was what both of them needed. After about a month things were back to normal and any romantic thought of Cale was easily dismissable. Nate could sleep again, he could play normally without thoughts of Cale clouding his mind, and he was able to start hanging out with the defenseman again. Just like normal. Soon enough Nate had practically forgotten he’d ever loved Cale at all. Sure, Nate felt a bit emptier, but that wasn’t because he missed the possibility of Cale loving him, right? He’d moved on. Cale was talking with him again. Nate couldn’t ruin that by letting himself believe he could have the defenseman as his own.

However, a part of Nate still cringed when one day, after an early game, he’d seen Cale by his car with some date. He’d been walking out to the parking lot when he’d seen them. They weren’t even doing anything, but a hot wave of embarrassment and shame still washed over Nate and he felt his cheeks heat. He hadn’t been able to stop staring. Don’t be petty, Nate. You don’t even know that she’s his girl. She could just be a friend, stop acting so stupid, Nate tried to reason with himself. But his mind was reeling with desire and longing again. I wish that were me.

Nate averted his eyes and got angrily into his car. He started it and cursed under his breath before driving home. He’d made plans with JT and some of the others, but he didn’t care. Right now, he just needed to be home. He could just say he wasn’t feeling up to it, anyway. Which he wasn’t. Nate had gotten home and tried to distract himself, but it wasn't working. Before he could even think about it, Nate was phoning Sid.

“Yeah?” Sid had asked, not even needing to say hello.

Nate rested one arm on his knee, resting his head on his palm while the other held the phone to his ear. “Hey, Sid… I—” Nate paused, he shouldn’t be doing this, but he couldn’t take it anymore, “I need to talk to you about something.”

“Fire away.”

“How do you tell someone you love them?”

~~~

Cale had gotten home from his “date” early. It hadn’t felt right, but then again, not much had ever since Landy had come over and told him Nate might like him. Cale knew it was stupid, trying to avoid his feelings and place them to someone else, but at this point he was willing to do anything. He’d tried staying away from Nate, but that only made the longing for him greater. He’d tried dates. He’d tried everything. So why was Nate so hard to get rid of? Was it because Nate’s touch was something no one else could replicate? Was it the way his passion for his game showed in how competitive he was? Or was it just because Cale was desperate and alone and he was tired of it?

More than that, Cale wasn’t even sure if Nate could love him back. Cale wasn’t sure he deserved that. Nate deserved better, infinitely better, than what Cale could ever offer. Why bother? Cale had tried to act normal about all of this, but soon enough Devon had caught on. Cale’s phone buzzed and he clicked on the notification.

Something’s been up with you. Do you want to talk?

My house tonight at 7 if you do. Kerry’s going out with some friends tonight, so we’ll be alone.

Of course Devon could tell something was going on. Cale sighed. It would be kind of nice to tell someone about this. Maybe then he could actually shed some light on what the hell he should do. Cale nodded to himself. If he trusted anyone with this information other than the other two lovebirds of the team, it’d be Devon.

I’ll be there.

Good. I’ve been worried about you.

I’ve been worried about me, too, Cale wanted to type, but he clicked off his phone instead. He could tell Devon that later and in person. Now, all he had to do was wait. Cale was good at that, waiting. He had to be. He had to know when to shoot, when to pass, when exactly to skate this way or that. Waiting was valuable, too many people forgot that. Maybe Cale had lately, too. Everything happened when it was supposed to, and— as much as it pained him to admit— maybe this whole dilemma with Nate was like that. Cale just had to be patient and wait for the right moment, and that was something he could do. Something he knew, something that was easy. Hopefully Nate understood that.

Thankfully, time seemed to pass quickly. Cale had grabbed his dinner and then made the short trip to Devon’s place. His house was pretty humble, expensive, but not showy. Cale had never really needed as much space as Devon’s, but Cale honestly liked it. His own home was actually pretty similar to Devon’s, maybe a little smaller. Cale knew some people were bothered by living in a big house all alone, but Cale wasn’t that person. He enjoyed having his space to hang around, and Devon was the same way.

Devon had shown him downstairs and they’d taken a seat on the couch. He’d already had beers in his hand and Cale laughed. Devon had this nasty habit of knowing exactly how conversations were going to feel, and he was right. “What?” the defenseman had asked with a laugh.

Cale had taken one of the drinks from his hands. “I can’t believe you already knew this might be a rough one.”

“What? No! I wouldn’t assume that.”

Cale shook his head and motioned to Devon. “You literally had the beers in your hand when I opened the door! What do you mean you didn’t assume?” Cale jabbed and Devon waved his hand dismissively away.

“Alright, alright. Now shut up about that and tell me what the hell’s been going on with you. You’re acting even more antisocial than usual.”

Cale shrugged. Should he be doing this? How would Devon feel? He’d been the one to help Cale get over Nate the first time, how was he supposed to admit that it hadn’t worked? He couldn’t just ask for help again, it wasn’t fair. A few tense moments passed and Cale sighed. Might as well.

“You know how I used to have a thing for Nate?” Cale asked, he searched Devon’s eyes for some form of anger or annoyance but he found nothing but focus. Cale paused before continuing, “I… I think I like him again. I don’t know.”

“Okay…” Devon began, “so how is this time any different? You didn’t act like this when you first fell for him, what’s changed? Why’s he getting to you this bad?”

Cale’s breath caught in his throat, panic seizing him. He drew in a few steadying breaths and ran his hands through his hair, cheeks heating. This was so difficult. Why? It was stupid, he trusted Devon more than anyone else with this. He shouldn’t be feeling like someone was actively trying to shrink his lungs and like a hand was squeezing his heart.

Devon was steady and calm. “Cale?”

“Because,” Cale started shakily. He exhaled and restarted, making pleading eye contact with his defense partner, “Because I think he likes me back.”

“Oh.”

~~~

Nate couldn’t get the song out of his head. It was all he could seem to think of and it was playing on constant repeat in his mind. So, naturally, he took any time he had in his day to listen to it and think it over.

“Do I wanna know? If this feeling flows both ways?

Sad to see you go, was sorta hoping that you’d stay.

Baby we both know that the nights are made for saying things that you can’t say tomorrow day

Do I wanna know? Too busy being yours to fall

Sad to see you go. Ever thought of callin’, darlin’?

Do I wanna know? Do you want me crawling back to you?”

It was only worsening Nate’s desire. He wanted to tell Cale. He wanted to tell Cale so fucking badly. He wanted to spill all his dark thoughts and longings. He wanted to tell Cale that the reason he hadn’t slept was because he was too busy thinking about what Cale’s own touch felt like. He wanted to pull Cale to his chest and force him to understand his love, but he couldn’t. More than that Nate wanted, above everything, for Cale to love him back. He didn’t even know if it was possible, but neither Sid nor Landy had helped him forget that admitting something like that was a risk. And it was a risk they thought Nate should take.

So why hadn’t Nate taken that leap? Well, because he was scared. Dead scared. Things were finally normal between them. As much as Nate wanted to say that it was for Cale’s sake, that was another lie. It was for Nate’s sake, for his own hope to still stay friends with the defenseman. It was cowardly. Nate rested his head against his door, about to leave to go to their pregame practice. He closed his eyes, brows furrowed. He wasn’t a coward. He opened his door and got into his car. Today, Nate decided. Today he’d come clean with Cale. No backing out, no nothing. He was going to get this over with. Nate was tired of waiting.

So Nate had practiced like hell. Played like hell. He’d scored, but that didn’t matter. They’d won, but that didn’t matter either. Nate was just glad the night was done. He caught Cale before he left the locker room. “Hey,” Nate had said, gaining Cale’s attention all-too instantly, “you wanna go out somewhere?”

“Oh…” Cale looked back into the hall, eyes trailing Devon out of the room, he turned back to Nate. “Yeah, sure. Why— I mean, where?”

“I don’t know. A bar someplace close. You pick.”

“Alright,” Cale had agreed and after a couple minutes they’d chosen the place. Cale had said his brief goodbye and left Nate to go on his own to the bar before Nate. Nate ran a hand through his hair and exhaled, waiting a few moments before following Cale out of the room.

Landy was leaning on the wall with a smug look on his face. Nate stopped dead in his tracks and slowly turned to face his captain who only winked in response. “What. The hell.”

“Ohhh, you should have seen him, Nate,” Landy said, voice laced with a shit-eating grin, “He walked out of here so red. I think I heard him laughing to himself in disbelief as he ran his hands through his hair…”

Landy winced as Nate gave him a swift shoulder punch. The captain laughed. Nate pointed an accusing finger at Landy. “I know what you’re trying to do.”

“And it’s working, isn’t it? You’re blushing, idiot,” prodded Landy. “Now go, he’ll be waiting for you.”

Landy gave Nate a small shove to get him going and before Nate could fully exit the doors he called, “And for the record, he totally likes you back, by the way! You two are gonna be perfect together!”

“Oh, shut up!” Nate shouted with a shake of his head, but he was smiling.

He’d arrived at the bar and quickly found his seat beside Cale. The defenseman had already gotten their drinks, their usual. Nate took his seat and folded his hands a bit nervously together. They chatted as they drank, the conversation blessedly not uncomfortable. Nate had practically forgotten he was going to confess, well, until Cale had reminded him that is.

It’d been a small thing. Cale had simply mentioned one of his old girlfriends that he was still close with and that had set it all off. Nate had barely recovered the conversation but the damage had been done. It was tense after that, Cale awkwardly trying to maintain anything but failing. Not the right time, not the right time, not the right time— Nate’s mind screamed.

Oh, he’d been so stupid. How was this even supposed to work? Why did he think this would work? Nate had finished his drink and they left the bar in silence. Nate got into his car again, a wave of shame and sadness rushing over him. Why had he tried? He was so— Nate cast his eyes skyward, emotion choking his throat. He took a deep breath in, trying to steady himself. He would have failed if Cale— Cale?— wasn’t running up to his car.

Nate snapped to attention. “What the—”

Cale knocked on his window and Nate unlocked the door. Cale scrambled in, cheeks a bit red from running. Cale turned to face Nate, his eyes so warm and loving. Nate couldn’t take it. Cale panted a bit, regaining his breath. “Nate, I— I needed to tell you—”

The world was bright. Nate was suddenly and acutely aware of everything. The condensation on his windshield, the twinkling of car lights and the glow of the street lamps. He noticed the movement inside buildings. The pedestrians chatting on the sidewalks.None of it mattered. Cale was perfect. Cale was here.

“I needed to say—” Cale was cut off, but it was beautiful.

Nate was leaning in, and Cale had stopped talking. The night went silent, the world held its breath. This was where they were meant to be. Nate closed his eyes, closed the gap between them, and took the leap. Sid was right. It did feel good.

~~~

Cale felt alive. His hand was at Nate’s jaw, he could feel its stubble, stark in comparison to his own smooth skin. Nate’s had its nicks and bruises, Cale’s was perfect and clean. He wanted to stay in this moment forever. He wanted to stop time itself just so they could stay here forever. Everything was warm, beautiful, and perfect. He’d never thought this could even happen, but Nate had proved him so, so wrong. Cale had never been happier to be so. And holy shit Nate was a good fucking kisser. Cale could feel how much the forward wanted him and Cale was all there for it. Cale had known Nate’s love language was physical touch, but this was… this was— Cale smiled and Nate only pulled him closer, determined to stay right here and right now— heaven. Cale laughed, pulling back for the barest moment to breathe before reconnecting with Nate again for a shorter time. He didn’t want to let it stop, but it happened and they met eye contact. Nate was red, smiling, he was perfect. Cale laughed, “Oh my God, you actually— we actually—”

“Yeah,” Nate said and looked around for another moment before blurting, “kiss me again, please.”

Cale felt himself blush an even deeper red. Nate was actually asking for this, it was unbelievable. He’d never even thought— Cale’s mind was in a scramble, so many thoughts ran through his head he couldn’t even hold onto one. So he didn’t think, he just obliged. Cale could tell Nate had wanted this for a while, he’d spent so much time intentionally trying to make sure Cale wasn’t uncomfortable if Nate touched him and now… now he didn’t bother. Nate was as intense as a forest fire, and Cale was loving it. Cale was loving Nate.

Cale’s ribcage was digging into the armrest, absently it hurt. Cale pulled himself up, closer. His head hit the light above him and it clicked on. Cale opened his eyes and he laughed, Nate had stopped kissing him and he’d rested his forehead against Cale’s. Nate rubbed his thumb over Cale’s knuckles with a grin. He’d never seen the forward so radiant, happy. “Thank you,” he muttered.

“How long have you been waiting to do that?” Cale asked, words almost nonexistent. He felt like he was floating, like if he let silence rest too long he’d awake from some dream.

Nate shrugged, his eyes warm as realization crossed over them. “Forever, I think.”

“Then why didn’t you do it sooner?” Cale exclaimed with a dry laugh, he swatted at Nate’s shoulder playfully.

Nate drew back, falsely offended. He shook his head and looked back at Cale. Silence fell, Nate’s crystal clear blue eyes studied him, searching Cale for the answer. The faintest smile danced across his perfect lips. “I don’t know,” he whispered.

Cale felt desire course through him and a new wave of heat crossed over his cheeks. He didn’t bother saying anything. He wanted to tell Nate that he was wanted now. So he scooted forward and gave Nate one last kiss, determined to make him his. Nate seemed surprised by it. Cale was surprised, too. He’d never had this with anyone else. Any love had been half-hearted and Cale hadn’t liked touch. But with Nate? Oh, with Nate, all Cale wanted to do was feel and touch and love. He loved it. Cale kept Nate there for as long as he wanted, and the forward didn’t fight it. A small amount of pride crept into Cale’s chest at that.

Cale drew away and as he opened Nate's passenger door with one hand, he let his other stray at the underside of Nate’s chin. He could feel Nate swallow, he could feel his jaw tick as he made eye contact with Cale. Cale smirked a bit and stepped out into the fresh and cool Denver air. He shut the door and lifted his eyes skyward into the stars. He ran a hand through his mussed hair and adjusted his jacket, putting up the hood to hide his face from Nate, who would no doubt be watching his every move.

Cale was about to find his way to his car when he heard Nate’s door shut. “Cale!” Nate called, catching his attention and he jogged towards him.

“What?”

Nate didn’t say anything, he just wrapped his arms around Cale. The defenseman stiffened a bit before melting into the embrace, he threw his own arms around Nate’s shoulders and buried his face into Nate’s T-shirt. Nate gave him a tight squeeze. “Thank you,” he said.

Before Cale could reply, Nate had turned and was starting his car. Cale stood, thankful for the chill, and watched Nate drive away. He smiled to himself. “Yeah… no problem.”

Cale lingered for a few, leaning against the large lamp post as he pulled out his phone. He searched around his screen a bit scatter-brained before finally opening up his contacts and calling Devon. It went to voicemail. Cale shook his head. Old man. He called Landy instead, half-expecting him not to answer too as it was pretty late, but the captain responded almost immediately.

“Heyyyyyy,” Landy greeted, something sly in his tone.

“Hi,” began Cale, trying to stay composed even though he knew Landy could probably hear his smile, “I have something to tell you.”

“Oh, do tell. Me and EJ have been dying to hear it.”

Of course EJ was there… Wait, hear it? Why did he sound like he knew— Cale rolled his eyes. Why wouldn’t Landy know? He pinched the bridge of his nose before responding, acting a bit defeated to try and throw them off, “Me and Nate.”

“Shit.” EJ, Cale noticed. “He didn’t do something stupid, right? I swear if he—” Ej was cut off by Cale’s laugh. “Oh, you little jerk!”

“Sorry, sorry. It’s fine, we’re fine. Great, really. I just can’t believe you two. How on earth did you guys know?”

Landy spoke next, “We’re like sharks, and you guys are the blood in the water. We don’t miss, ever. Also, I overheard you both chatting in the locker room, but that isn’t the point.”

Cale sighed, he should have known. He closed his eyes for a few moments before EJ butted in again, “So, how did it go? Like are you… y’know?”

Cale paused for a moment. Were they? Nate seemed to think so, but Cale could just be assuming the best. He didn’t know what Nate wanted from him, Cale wasn’t quite sure what he was wanting from Nate either. Could they honestly be together, or was that just setting them up for failure? Cale took in a deep breath, he was over-analyzing again. He fiddled with the ring at his neck and bit his lip a bit before nodding to himself. Just say what you think, what you know you feel. “I— I’m not sure. I don’t know yet, but…”

“Yeah?” Landy prodded over the phone and Cale could hear its mirth.

“But I do want him. I want us, I mean.”

“That’s my man! Hell yeah! That’s so good, Cale. I’m glad. It was killing me—” Landy must have received some glare from EJ because he corrected himself— “us to see you both like this. We wanted things to work out. We’re happy for you. How’s Nate taken it? He run off?”

“No, actually we— well, we kinda left the bar separately but I found his car and I was going to tell him and he… he kissed me.” There was silence for a moment and Landy let him continue. “It was amazing, Landy. I’ve never felt like that before. Ever. I didn’t know love was supposed to feel like this.”

“It’s good isn’t it? To not feel alone, to know that no matter what,” Landy paused for a moment and Cale could only imagine the look he was giving EJ, “you have someone. Always.”

“Yeah,” breathed Cale. “Yeah, that’s exactly it… Thank you.”

“Of course.”

Cale said his goodbye and hung up, pocketing his phone and making his way to his car. He drove home, listening to his romance playlist. Just as he was about to go to bed, his phone buzzed. It was Nate.

I love you.

…

Cale hesitated typing for a moment. He shook his head to himself. Screw it.

I love you too.

Cale went to Nate’s contact info. He gazed at the picture of Nate he had as his profile before clicking on Nate’s name and adding on to it. It now said: Nate <3. Cale smiled. It was simple, but it was nice. Nothing too cheesy, just something that satisfied what Cale was feeling. He clicked off his phone and fell into perfect, undisturbed sleep for the first time since he’d fallen for the forward. Life wasn’t normal in the slightest, it never had been, but Cale finally felt good. This was an abnormality he was happy to welcome into his life. Nate loved him, and that was the best out-of-the-usual gift he could ever receive.

Cale felt whole.

~~~

Nate had shown up to practice radiant for the first time in what felt like months. Landy had been there and all he’d needed to do was give Nate a warm smile as he dipped his head and pointed out to the rink. He must have been one of the first ones there. Nate’s gaze followed where Landy was pointing. Cale was out on the ice skating, Nate’s expression melted into admiration as he watched. Then, he got ready as quickly as possible just so he could join Cale for a short time alone.

“Hey,” Nate greeted.

Cale’s face was already red, but Nate could have sworn it got just a bit deeper in that moment. Maybe he was crazy. Cale said hello back and Nate joined him in skating. The others slowly filed in and they went through practice like normal. Nate was just glad that the others were dismissing his obvious flirting with Cale from the ice or the bench as him just being funny, or maybe they just didn’t care.

Nate left the ice shortly before Cale, but when he was ready to leave he lingered. Cale was talking with some of the others beside him, but his eyes strayed to Nate often, telling that he was thinking the same thing. Cale halted when Devon and Val motioned for them to go. “You guys go ahead. I’ll meet you there, just give me a sec’.”

Nate smiled and Cale turned to him. Nate crossed to Cale and pulled him a bit closer. Cale’s cheeks flushed instantly, he slowly moved his fingers around Nate’s bicep with a faint smile. Nate could tell Cale was thinking about saying something, so he waited and didn’t push him for it. After a few more moments of Cale simply studying Nate lovingly, Cale asked, “Nate, are we— do you want to be…?” Nate laughed faintly as he watched Cale trying to find the words. “Nate, are we boyfriends?”

Nate felt his face heat, he grinned. “Yeah,” he breathed, “yeah, I think we are.”

#829 #cale makar #nathan mackinnon #colorado avalanche #gabriel landeskog #erik johnson #devon toews #sidney crosby #692 #mens hockey rpf #hrpf

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simplysimpingsimp · 3 years

Note

Lmao here I am again requesting something. I love your writing and I was wondering if I could request (another) Inosuke x Male Reader scenario where someone is hitting on the reader? Perhaps the reader doesn’t even notice the flirting? You can decide! Thank you for your writing! Continue to be awesome!

Hiiiii !! Omg thank you so much for requesting again <3 I really appreciate and love that you’ve sent in another request :D this is such a funny and yet cute scenario especially because of how Inosuke is probably a jealous type but in a wholesome way ! Please enjoy and I’m sorry if I didn’t meet your expectations T^T!!

🌲—————————————————————🌲

🌲Strike 1,2,3

Inosuke x Male!Reader

Pronouns: he/him

TW: none !

🌲—————————————————————🌲

Inosuke had been following his beloved around a local village with a grimace on his face hidden by his boar mask. While it’s not that he didn’t want to be there, he simply did NOT want to be there.

Though it made his heart flutter to see the happy expression on his face, it made him feel a certain rage when women and even men would approach Y/n with what Inosuke interpreted as wanting to steal him away.

Inosuke would huff at the sight of Y/n simply talking it off like they weren’t trying anything. From the view of his innocent smile, it was more than clear that it was going over his head.

“Thank you so much for the welcoming,” the e/c eyed young man spoke sweetly to the young woman who had approached him, “It was nice to meet you.”

The young woman practically skipped away with a glittery aura and a bright blush on her cheeks.

“Wasn’t she sweet,” he mused sweetly as he held onto Inosuke’s arm, holding him close.

Inosuke scoffed as his face warmed at the feeling of his beloved holding onto him. The giddy feeling building up in his chest at the very notion of being touched by the one he revered as some sort of love angel.

“Is something wrong?” He questioned with curious eyes as he looked at the deep blue of the boar mask’s eyes.

“N-No!” Inosuke practically yelled, earning the attention of others on the street.

He hummed, ignoring the eyesight of onlookers, “There there,” he gently patted the smooth pelt of his boar mask earning a soft satisfied sound from Inosuke.

A young woman approached the pair with a certain sway in her walk. She was dressed in a gentle blue floral kimono with her dark hair down and flowing. Her eyes held a sultry look in the direction of Y/n that Inosuke couldn’t explain effectively but it made him angry. Her lips were curved in a smirk and painted a soft pink.

She practically pushed past Inosuke, and wrapped her arm around his beloved.

That was strike 1 for Inosuke. He clenched his fists, holding in the urge to pig assault and head butt her into space.

How dare she try to touch the God of Love and have the audacity to not acknowledge the great presence of the Lord of the Mountain?!

“No one ever told me that we would be having a handsome demon slayer stopping by,” her voice was elegant and smooth like a dark wine, her fingers elegantly caressing his face.

The obliviousness that was Y/n could only smile as he took a step away, gently prying off the woman, “We’re just dropping by to make sure everything is all clear here! And to get something to eat.”

She let out a soft giggle, her eyes half lidded as she maintained a smokey stare on Y/n.

Strike 2. Inosuke’s blood was beginning to truly boil at the sight of the woman caressing his beloved. He was comparing the scene internally to the memory of how wolves would approach adorable rabbits and devour them before they even had a chance to escape.

He watched the way the woman would cling onto Y/n, her temptress ways were completely flying over his head as the young man had an innocent smile on his face.

“It must be so difficult to be on the road,” she spoke softly, “Especially with that,” her sight traveled to Inosuke.

Strike 3. That was it for the feral boar young man.

“Get off him you hag or I swear I’ll rip your breasts off!!” He yelled as he practically shoved her off of him.

Before Y/n could speak, Inosuke had thrown him over his shoulder and ran off as if Muzan was chasing behind him.

“I-I-Inosuke pu-put me do-o-own,” Y/n yelled with an embarrassed blush on his cheeks. He spoke as best he could as Inosuke’s running and grip on his body was making it difficult for him to express himself.

Inosuke ran into the nearest forest, his panting sounding feral and wild. He set him down. With full sight of him, y/n witnessed steam being ejected from the nostrils of the snout of his mask.

Inosuke removed his mask, setting his mask down on the ground. A face of anger shown by the way his eyebrows were furrowed and his beautiful large eyes narrowed. His lips in the form of a scowl as he looked at Y/n’s confused expression.

“What is the matter wi-“ before he could finish his sentence Inosuke grabbed him by his shoulders, pulled him in and smashed his lips onto his. Their teeth clanked together but Inosuke could care less. He was still learning what different modes of affection were and all he could think to do was plant his lips on his just as Y/n had explained to him that it was an action of romantic love and affection.

It caught Y/n by surprise, but he gave in anyway. His arms wrapped around his neck, as he melted into the kiss. Inosuke’s body tensed beneath his touch, a clear sign that he didn’t know what to do next.

He pulled away, a scowl-like smirk on his face, “There now that hag won’t ever put her filthy hands onto you again,” his voice was proud and mighty as his arms wrapped around his beloved’s form tightly, “No one will ever flurth with you again or I’ll fight them, I swear!”

“There there Inosu- wait did you say flurth? Do you mean flirt?”

“Yeah! Monjiro and Monitsu explained to me what flurthing was and what’s called!” He yelled as his body became warm.

Y/n stifled a laugh, “It’s flirt, my love,” he laughed, “Fl-ir-t,” he sounded out.

“It’s flurthing now! I, the great lord Inosuke, am never wrong!” He huffed.

He laughed softly, gently kissing his cheek, “I thought she was just being really weird and touchy because I thought maybe the village was the comfortable with each other. Completely went over my head,” he smiled lightly at Inosuke.

E/c pools meeting the beautiful lime like color that was his irises.

Y/n’s hand gently found its way to Inosuke’s cheek, fingers gently caressing the soft skin of his delicate features.

Inosuke placed his hand over his, “I don’t want anyone ever taking you away! You’re mine and mine alone,” he had a shy smile on his face as his fingers caressed the soft skin of Y/n’s hands.

“I wouldn’t want it any other way,” he smiled at the feral boar man.

His e/c eyes were glimmering with happiness and love. The very sight of his gaze made Inosuke’s heart flutter and the giddy feeling he adored and wanted more of build in his chest. His own green irises were shining beautifully with love.

Y/n lightly pecked his lips, before Inosuke pulled him back into a gentler kiss. His kiss felt deep and unsure in the sense that he was still learning and continuously improving. A warm blush dominated their cheeks as they pulled away, Inosuke pulling him into a tight hug again.

His embrace was sweet and adorable as he had finally gotten the hang of how to hug better. His hands gently petting Y/n’s h/c colored hair the way he would do to him, earning a soft laugh from him.

“I love you and only you, Inosuke.”

“I love you and only you too.”

ᴇɴᴅ

🌲—————————————————————🌲

ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ sᴏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ғᴏʀ ʀᴇǫᴜᴇsᴛɪɴɢ <3 ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ

ғᴇᴇʟ ғʀᴇᴇ ᴛᴏ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ ɪᴅᴇᴀs/ʀᴇǫᴜᴇsᴛs/ᴀsᴋ/ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ!

sᴇᴇ ʏᴀʟʟ sᴏᴏɴ <3

#inosuke x male reader #kimetsu inosuke #inosuke x y/n #inosuke hashibira #inosuke x reader #demon slayer inosuke #kny inosuke #inosuke x you #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #anime x reader #demon slayer #kny #fluff #reader insert #kimetsu no yaiba

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awonderfulwolfyworld · 4 years

Text

purple.

ship: riven x reader

summary: all Riven wants is to be someone’s first choice, specifically yours. When you see him get beaten by Sky yet again, you decide to cheer him up.

word count: 1052

warnings: swearing

Riven had only ever wanted to be someone’s first choice.

The sun was harsh, beating down its heat onto unsuspecting specialists. His uniform clung to him uncomfortable, sticking to sweat at every surface. He readjusted his grip on the wooden baton for what felt like the millionth time. He could feel the heat affecting him, the sweat dripping down his forehead, his grip on his weapon becoming looser with every second. Sky was unaffected, of course he was.

It was hard to resent the boy who was like his brother, but Riven felt that resentment crawl up his throat anyway. It was an ugly feeling and more emotions came with it. The guilt and shame for wishing downfall on his best friend, but all Riven wanted was for someone to choose him.

He was never Skys first choice for anything, and he never had been.

First it was Stella, whom Sky devoted every ounce of attention and affection to. Then it was Bloom and while Riven enjoyed having her around, she would always be Skys first choice.

He wasn’t even the last choice for his parents, hell they didn’t even think of him as an option. God knows his teachers would prefer he didn’t exist. Everyone else in his life knew him and Sky as a package deal. It was no secret which boy the preferred.

The baton slipped between his fingers once more as Sky beat him to the floor. That resentment filled his chest even stronger than before, spreading through his body like wildfire the second he saw her watching. Saw her eyes linger on Sky’s tall frame as he loomed over Riven. Watched her trail her gaze over his features.

Riven was out of the ring in a second.

He purposefully ignored her. Ignored the way she made his heart leap with every little gesture. Riven was no stranger to emotions, in fact he felt everything so strongly, but never like this. Never with someone like you. It didn’t matter how much he felt for you, because Riven had never been anyones first choice and he sure as hell knew he could never be yours. You were good at school, one of the smartest girls he had ever met, and smart girls didn’t waste their time with drop kicks.

Riven could feel Sky before he heard him. He hovered behind him hesitantly, unsure whether to finish approaching or back off. It was no secret how he felt, he could hide it from everyone else as much as he wanted, but Sky always saw right through him.

“I don’t understand you. You act like you’re some amazing guy that can get whoever he wants, but then you shy away from what you really want?”

Riven knows he could try. He could get up and march over to where you sit perched beneath an oak tree to confess how he feels. He could take you on a picnic and hold your hand and tell you how beautiful you are. Then, when he tries and tries and you reject him anyway, he can be the laughing stock of the whole school.

“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”

He’s on the defensive before he can even blink. The resentment doesn’t ease, not in the slightest, not when he can see you sitting under that stupid tree looking like the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. Not when he can see you watching them, watching Sky.

They sit there in silence for a while. Sky and Riven. One boy who had the world at his feet and one who could never imagine what that would be like. Eventually Bloom arrives and Sky takes his leave, patting Riven on the leg as he goes. The sun dips below the horizon and colour paint the sky in streaks of colour. You’re bathed in the glow of the waning sun and a new feeling settles in Riven’s chest, making its home where all gentle emotions do. His heart thrums as you stand to your feet, and for a second he thinks you’re going to follow Skys direction back to the school.

His heart stutters when your path leads directly to him.

Riven feels his heart stop as you come to a rest before him.

He’s always been observant but with you it’s something different entirely, and he feels like something is off immediately. Interactions between the two of you had been minimal. You showed him kindness when he least deserved it through small notions, and in return he cheered you up when you seemed down. To an outside it may just seem like gentle words and flirtatious remarks, but to Riven it meant a whole lot more.

Today, you’re different. Theres a bead sweat gliding down your temple and he’s not too sure if it’s from the warmth of the nervous energy that your exuding. You’re hands which are normally so gentle in their actions are clutching your bag with a strength he didn’t even know you had.

“Hey, Riv—uh Riven, sorry”

A smile works it’s way onto his face at the nickname and he purposefully ignores the way you apologise immediately for the act of endearment.

“What are you up to sunshine?”

You can feel your heart pounding in your chest, it’s a marvel he can’t hear it. You rummage in your bag for the flower you picked for him and tuck it behind his ear, desperately trying not to think about how pathetic you probably look.

“I uh, thought you could use the pick me up”

The flower is slightly wilted and wrinkled from your tight grip, but you think it looks pretty on him none the less. You know he’ll throw it to the ground the second you walk away. Know he’ll mutter something about how foolish and weird you are. Know he would never risk his reputation by wearing a purple flower in his hair, but you hold onto that hope all the same.

He watches you retreat on yourself and all too soon you’re heading up the hill towards the castle. His finger pluck the flower from his hair and a lovestruck grin settles on his face. He places the flower back in his hair right where you had placed it.

Purple was his favourite colour after all.

#winxsaga #winx #riven #fate riven #fate the winx saga #riven x reader #fate riven x reader #riven imagine #sky #fate sky #sky of eraklyon #imagine #winx club

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tomurasprincess · 4 years

Text

Kinktober Day 10: Chikan (His Biggest Fan)

Day 10: Chikan Title: His Biggest Fan Pairing: Hawks x Reader Word Count: 1.6k Warnings: Dubcon, chikan, coercion, manipulation, public sex, exhibitionism, yandere Note: A bit of a shorter one tonight because I have a few coming up that are going to be much longer. Also, it is technically still October 10th here, so it is not late (let me just mentally have this reasoning, please.)

“You’re - you’re Hawks, oh my god,” you can’t help the words that slip from your mouth when you see the number two hero stand beside you on the busy subway. He’s been your favorite since the first time he made the hero scene, and you can’t believe he’s right beside you.

“Yes I am,” he gives you a smile that could win anyone over before moving to stand even closer to you. “Are you a fan of mine, little bird?”

The endearment causes your heart to race in excitement even though you know he’s probably this friendly to everyone. “Yes, I’ve been following your hero work for a while now, and I’m a huge fan!”

You pause for a second before hastily adding, “that might make me sound like a stalker, I know, but I promise I don’t mean it like that.”

He reaches out to trail a finger down your bare arm, causing goosebumps to raise as you shiver. “Maybe I wouldn’t mind,” he chuckles at you. “You’re a cutie.” He steps towards you, putting one hand up above your head to clutch at the bar. He towers over your small form, close enough that you can smell the cologne he uses. Your heart is beating out of your chest in disbelief of what is happening. This has been a deep, dark fantasy of yours, one that you would never admit to anyone. And now it seems to be happening.

His finger trails lower, tracing a pattern on the front of your shirt, dangerously close to your breasts. “And you’re even wearing my merchandise. You must be such a good fan.”

You feel your cheeks go hot, embarrassment causing you to be unable to meet his eyes. You forgot that you were wearing one of your many Hawks fan shirts. Although you feel no shame when wearing it out, it feels different somehow when the man himself is the one who sees you in it.

He takes a finger under your chin and raises it to meet his eyes. “Since you’re such a good fan, maybe you could do me a favor.”

“I don’t know how someone like me could help someone as great as you, but I’ll do what I can!” Your thoughts instantly move to grand notions like helping him with a case or other fanciful notions that you know can’t be the truth but you can’t help wanting anyway.

But you were certainly not expecting him to grip your hips and pull you flush against him, grinding his hardening erection into your thigh. He grabs your hand and moves it downward, closing your hand around the bulge. “I think you can help me with this, little bird. Don’t you?”

“I - I don’t know,” you trail off a bit, unsure how to truly respond.

“So you won’t help me then? That’s fine, I know it’s probably too much for anything but a true fan to do.”

“But I’m a true fan,” you protest instantly, “I promise I am!”

“So you’ll help me after all,” he turns you around and pushes you against the bar as he humps against the curve of your ass. You hear the rustling of his clothes, and feel your skirt being lifted up. Everything is happening too fast for you and your head is spinning from trying to process everything.

“Wait, I’m not so sure about this,” you try to reason with him, “we’re in public, what if someone sees?”

You feel his chest rumble with a laugh. “You really are a good fan, worried about my reputation.” You see his wings spread out a bit, coming to wrap around you and cover you from view. A few people turn to look in your direction, but they smile and glance away, simply assuming that you’re his girlfriend and he’s being protective of you.

“Now no one can see,” you feel his hot, hard cockhead probing at your entrance. “You’ll just have to be very quiet so no one suspects anything, and since you’re such a good girl, I know you can do that for me.” And with that he begins to push inside of you. The sting of him stretching out your mostly dry walls causes tears to form in your eyes, ones that you rapidly blink away so that nobody sees.

“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he groans deeply into your ear, burying his face in your neck as he bites down. “You feel so good clamping down on my cock like that.”

You whine a bit as he finally enters you completely, cockhead resting against your cervix as he gives you time to adjust. “You’re a true fan, to help me like this,” he grunts softly as he begins to move, veins and ridges of his cock sliding against your walls in a way that starts out painful but soon feels wonderful.

He reaches around to find your clit, rubbing down on the throbbing bead. You grip the bar you’re facing, biting into the meat of your hand to contain your moan as pleasure zings through you. His short, shallow thrusts inside of you quickly become harder as you grow wet and he’s able to move more freely. “I want you to cum around my cock, little bird,” he whispers into your ear. “Think you can do that for me?”

“Y-yes Hawks,” you whimper a bit as his fingers rub your clit harder, pussy clenching down around him at the stimulation.

“Mmm, call me Keigo, little bird,” he reaches around to reach under your shirt, pulling your bra up so that he can grip your breasts, tweaking your nipples until they’re rock hard.

You move your hand just a bit higher on the bar so that you can push back to meet his thrusts. “Yes, Keigo, oh fuck it feels so good,” you whisper as quietly as you can. The squelching noises as his cock slams into you leaves you feeling both ashamed and oddly thrilled.

Your hero trusts you enough to help him with a problem. To stay quiet and not let anyone see what he’s doing to you to preserve his reputation.

You would hate to disappoint him.

You feel your lower stomach tighten as you near your orgasm, and Hawks must sense it too, because he adjusts his angle to hit a sensitive spot inside of you that causes your pussy to pulse around him.

He manages to stay quiet, letting out only sharp huffs of breath, but you fare much worse than he is. You’re biting so hard into your hand that you can taste blood as you try to contain your noises and gripping the bar hard enough that your hand is turning red.

“Fuck, I’m going to cum,” his blunt nails dig hard into your thighs as he speeds up. “Let me cum inside.”

You feel a sense of unease at that. You’re not on any birth control, so what happens if you get pregnant?

He must sense your hesitation, as he starts to reassure you with gentle touches across your body. “Please, your pussy feels so fucking amazing, little bird,” Keigo grunts into your ear. “You would prove yourself as my biggest fan if you just let me fill you up.”

A sense of excitement builds up in you. His biggest fan? Of course you’re his biggest fan, and you have to prove it to him. You have to let him know how much he means to you.

“Hhnggg, alright,” you groan, “please cum inside of me, Keigo, I want to prove it to you.”

“Such a good girl,” he chuckles at your response and grinds down on your swollen clit, and the pleasure shoots straight to your core. You’re thrown into such an intense orgasm that the bar you’re gripping is the only thing that keeps you standing, your knees wanting to buckle from the sensations rolling through you.

You feel his cock twitch inside of you, pace stuttering as hot cum paints your walls white. There’s so much that it leaks out a bit, dripping down your leg. Finally the stimulation is too much, and he pulls out of you in such an abrupt movement that you whine at the feeling of being so empty.

He readjusts himself into his pants, pushing your panties back into place to prevent any more cum from leaking out. You pull away from the bar a bit, only to stumble and almost collapse as your legs buckle. Keigo catches you easily, smiling at your blissed out look. “Here’s what we’re going to do next. Are you listening?”

“Yes, of course,” you nod your head several times.

“We’re going to get off at the next stop, and you’re coming with me. Do you understand?”

“What do you mean,” you answer hesitantly, confusion overtaking your features. The idea of going home with him is an absolute dream, but you have so many things to do. “I’m on my lunch break, so - “

“You heard me. You’re coming home with me.”

“But what about work, I really have to head - “

“Little bird, you disappoint me,” he sighs dramatically, shaking his head at you in disbelief. “I thought you were my biggest fan, but apparently work is more important.”

“No!” Your voice comes out slightly higher pitched than you intended as panic almost overtakes you. This is your chance and you’re about to blow it over something as trivial as work. “You’re right. Work isn’t important, not when it comes to you.”

His smile instantly returns, looking like the sun coming back out from the clouds. “I’m so glad.” He wraps an arm tightly around you as he leads you to the opening door. “I can’t wait to finally get you home, my little bird.”

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

Kinktober: @thewheezingwyvern, @vixen-scribbles, @katsukisprincess, @hisoknen, @trafalgar-temptress, @leeswritingworld, @bakugotrashpanda, @kittycatkrissa, @reinawritesbnha, @yanderart, @dabilove27, @fae-father, @anxietyplusultra, @flutterfalla, @angmarwitch, @nereida19, @babayaga67, @fromsunnywithlove, @dabis-kitten, @bakugos-cumsock, @yumeneji, @the-grimm-writer, @iwaizumi-chan, @slashersheart, @cissiewrites, @bunnyywritings, @bakarinnie, @lucygucy123, @angie-1306, @emplosion22, @lalalemon101, @videogameboiwhowins, @armoredashley, @f4nficbaby, @sky-robin, @baroque-baby, @bbyspiiice, @celeroki, @jubilee40, @tenkoshimmy, @khemz1312, @thirsthourdemon

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not-me-simping-for-blasty · 3 years

Text

Three (Worthy of Love Anyway) - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou’s got three little words. Three little words to span across all of the three years he’s known you. But you’re leaving soon, and now he’s only got one set of three left. Three days to figure out how to tell you- before it’s too late.

~5.7k

—/—

Day 3

“You’re doing it again, man.” Kirishima says, tone a little tired and fond. “Just make your move already. She’s not gonna say no.”

Bakugou hates it- the way his best friend can see right through him. You have gotten to be such a problem for Bakugou, that even denying it to Kirishima doesn’t work anymore. All the proof is there anyways- it’s never more clear than it is now, when Bakugou can’t tear his eyes off you. Not even for a second.

“You’re not her. You don’t know what the fuck she’s gonna say.” Bakugou bites out, a little too much venom lining his voice. “And I can’t. She’s the only good assistant I’ve ever had. Not gonna reward her by fuckin’ up her career like that.”

His best friend sighs in response- something put-upon and a little irritated, and Bakugou agrees.

Because skirting around you has been hell. The worst kind of hell imaginable. Especially since you’ve proven so good at your job that he can’t even yell his frustration out. No, he can’t say a damn thing because you’re nothing but incredibly punctual and alarmingly efficient- a perfect, pretty package of intelligence and drive that somehow landed in his lap. Well, maybe not exactly in his lap, yet, but that’s the entire problem isn’t it?

Because he can feel it in his chest; an itchy tether that pulls at his heart, makes him follow the red string with his own red eyes until he sees you. Even now he follows that pull and finds you at the other end of the ballroom, smiling and laughing, and decidedly not looking back at him. Bakugou thinks it might be better that way though, because he’s well aware of what he looks like when you smile at him: like a house of cards, bowled over by the softness in your eyes.

The tether he feels has been this constant thing, ever since you started working for him 3 years ago. It started off small, just a little tug at his chest, something he could ignore the second he found someone to punch. But it didn’t stay small. It evolved with every smile and laugh thrown his way, until it was a bursting thrum of energy, a sizzling livewire that leaves him connected to you wherever you wander. It makes him want to follow. To be a shadow for as long as you’ll allow him to.

It’s something he’s never felt before. Never even knew was possible. It’s the most disgusting, pervasive, saccharine, notion Bakugou has ever been struck by- and he can’t believe he willingly chases it down. Day after day like a drug he just can’t seem to quit.

“You’re not gonna mess up her career, man,” Kirishima tries again. He snaps in front of Bakugou’s face and only then does he tear his eyes away from you. “She’s moving on to another agency, right? You knew from the start she’d only be working for you temporarily-“

“Get to your fuckin’ point, Shitty Hair.”

“Dude, I wish you’d stop calling me that! I stopped dying my hair years ago-“ Kirishima whines for a moment, but straightens quickly at Bakugou’s glare. “Look, what I’m saying is, she’s not gonna be your employee after this week. So you either gotta get over whatever this is and be content after she’s gone, or ask her out now before somebody else does.”

Something flares in Bakugou’s chest then. Something warm and angry and unsettled at even the thought of you with someone else. It’s a dizzying thing, and he hates admitting that his friend has a point, but it’s undeniable now. The excuse he’s been making to himself for years isn’t going to be valid for much longer. And there’s only one other way to keep you as close as Bakugou has gotten accustomed to.

His eyes find you once more. You’re floating across the room, charming each investor and higher-up with all your easy charm and wit. It’s like the decision is made for him in that moment, fists clenching at his sides.

“Fine, I’ll fuckin’ do it-“ Bakugou’s voice is a rumble, indignant and low. “But not because of this shitty little heart-to heart, alright? You’re not fuckin’ right. You’re not.”

“Whatever you say, man.”

Bakugou’s about to flare up, about to blast that stupid fuckin’ smile right off his smug fuckin’ face when-

You turn, dress fanning around you in arc that takes his breath away. Familiar eyes scan the crowd for a moment, latch onto him and then you smile something secretive, beckoning him over with a single curl of your finger. He knows he shouldn’t obey- he shouldn’t. Bakugou’s got a reputation, one that’s been taking a serious hit with every grin of yours, and there’s not much more damage it can take. As it stands now, he’s teetering on the precipice of something dangerous. He knows it. He knows it like the feel of an explosion in his palms, and yet Bakugou walks over to you anyways.

“Good talk!” He vaguely hears Kirishima yell behind him. “You got this, buddy!”

As he walks, the tether gets a little duller- less like a burning inferno, and more like a soft heat. It’s calming to be drawing close, and the feeling alone drags him forward. Like there was no other choice but to answer you call. At least, not when you look like that.

That is the current bane of his existence; a shimmering, emerald gown in a shade that reminds him a little too much of his gauntlets. He knows the color is a tactical choice, a way to subtly announce your position as his personal assistant, but something possessive in him has been growling all night regardless. Because gala or not, that night Bakugou thinks you look his- and that is far more than enough to be his undoing.

He grabs two flutes of champagne when he’s just a few feet away from you, offering one when he stops at your side. You raise your brows a little at that, something playful in your eyes, and suddenly he wants the ground to swallow him whole. When you take the glass from him, all he can see is how close your fingers are to his. How you’re not touching his skin and how he wishes you were.

“And here I thought you’d leave me hanging.” Your laugh is heavenly to him. Like liquified honey dripping slow and smooth. “But you wouldn’t do that to me, would you?”

What Bakugou really wants to say is I would never do that. Not to you, never to you. The words sit viscous on his tongue, and he tries to get them out, he does, but all he can manage is-

“I would, I just didn’t this time. ‘m in a good mood.”

Bakugou hates that the most. The way you make him a liar- force his hand until all that’s left is defensive words. Words that he clearly doesn’t mean. Words that always come out all wrong, tangled together in a mess he can’t possibly hope to undo.

Still, you take his rudeness in stride, just like you always do. You sweep his tension away with that easy half-smile, shifting your weight closer to him. Suddenly it feels like it’s just you and him, an unbreakable front against everyone else in the room. The notion is heady. It’s intoxicating and potent, and your proximity lends him to another dizzying discovery: when he looks down, all Bakugou can see are his green cufflinks, blending in next to a dress that’s practically the same shade.

That beast in him starts growling once more.

“Mhm, you’re charming as usual, huh?” There’s an elegance to the way you tuck your hair behind your ear then. An easy grace to the way you turn back to the older woman in front of you, smile brightening. “Well joking aside, Bakugou, this is-“

You’re introducing him to another professional, some woman who heads a tech company. You’re stressing her importance to him, how her company is responsible for some aspect of his new suit, but Bakugou can’t focus. All he can focus on is the way your dress glitters under the low lighting. The way it shifts with each breath you take.

He hates that too. The way you’ve sapped him of all his focus. Of all his unyielding concentration. Now he can hardly think when you’re around- at least, not about anything productive.

Some more small talk occurs, the type that makes his skin prickle, but you float through it just fine. When you nudge him with your elbow, he realizes his torture is finally over and all that’s left to do is thank the investor. With a small nod, and a terse but audible thanks, Bakugou is finally left alone with just you once more.

“You know, more people would give you their money if you tried smiling.” Your giggle is tinkling, hidden from him when you take a sip of the champagne. “Just saying.”

“Well don’t. I don’t need to go kissin’ everybody’s ass just to get support.”

“Of course you don’t.”

“I don’t.”

“I know.” There’s something sly in your smile, a mischievous curve he has the sudden urge to kiss away. Then you nod towards the back of the room, where cameras are still clicking endlessly like they have all night. “The press got a ton of good shots of you and Kiri- think it’ll be really good PR. Tell me, was that your idea or his?”

Bakugou rolls his eyes. “Neither. ‘s not a fuckin’ ploy. He just wanted to talk.”

“Hmmm and here I hoped you had a legitimate reason to abandon me, all alone against your sea of endless investors..... guess not.”

He freezes at that, eyes flicking up to meet yours.

Bakugou hates this too- the way he can never tell if you’re serious or not. He used to think your eyes were a tell, that he’d be able to sift through your gaze for meaning, but he quickly learned there was never any truth to that theory. When he looks at you, your eyes are always a little clouded over, intentionally hidden beneath hooded lids and thick eyelashes. Something hazy clouding them that could be amusement, or in his worst case scenario, genuine distress.

Then you crack a smile, and his world starts spinning once more.

“Lighten up, angry, c’mon.” You giggle, hand coming up to hide your smile from him. “You really think I can’t handle a few investors? That I need you to come swooping in to.... save me?”

And the answer is no- no, he doesn’t think you need to him to save you. He knows your capable and smart, gregarious and charming in a way he’ll never understand. Those are all things he knows about you, and yet he still finds himself selfishly wishing you were just a little bit... less. So you’d need him the same way he’s come to need you.

“Nah. You got it.” He settles on saying, taking a sip of his champagne- if only to give himself an excuse to blame the flush in his cheeks on. “Sides, if you let the fuckin’ oldies best you than you’re a lost cause anyways. Natural selection.”

“Yeah? Is that the line you’re gonna feed to your new PA too?” You smile coyly. “Gotta warn you, I’m not sure that’s a good place to start. Maybe try playing nice for at least a little bit- if you could even manage.”

“You tryin’ to fuckin’ say something?”

“Always.”

Bakugou knows he shouldn’t let it get to him; your little jibe was harmless really, and not even a little bit untrue. Still, you always seem to have him flaring red hot, so its no surprise when the heat rises in his cheeks.

“Oh calm down,” You smile, hand patting his chest, once, twice, and then retreating. “It was a joke. If I was really gonna insult you, don’t you think I’d spell it out more directly?”

There it is again- the searing challenge in your tone, the coy smile that leaves his skin blistered and angry all over. Bakugou thinks your grin alone causes sunburn; wonders if it’s some secret second quirk that only you possess.

“I’d hope you would,” He retorts, all sharp teeth out on display. “Gives me a better fuckin’ reason to flatten ya- I’ll even give you a head start.”

“Hmm, so generous aren’t you?”

Before he can respond, you’re straightening, setting the empty champagne flute onto the tray of a passing caterer. Your smiles brightens, and you gently wave at someone behind him.

When Bakugou looks over his shoulder, something in him outright seethes and dies all in the same moment- because in what world, on what planet, in whose messed up universe is he feeling jealous of fucking Kirishima of all people. Who he knows, without a doubt, isn’t competition right now.

Then you wave at somebody else and a deep, dark, sinking replaces the envy. Because Bakugou clearly has an issue with every moment he isn’t your sole focus, and you’re moving much farther than he can reach in only a few days. You might not be his employee for much longer, but he’s almost positive now that that’ll make things much, much, worse.

Because I love you, He thinks.

And those three little words are the most dangerous part of all.

—/—

Day 2

Monday morning rolls around- and greets him with a, quite frankly, offensive stack of paperwork.

The pile alone seems miles tall, and that’s not even considering all that’s still left within his desk’s drawers. The only saving grace is you, striding through the door and setting a mug of tea down on his desk.

“Good morning, hotshot,” You smile, humor crinkling your eyes at the edges. “I see you’ve found all the little goodies I’ve left for yo-“

“Little? Fuckin’ stack’s gonna take me years to get through!” He gripes, huffing while sipping at his tea. “Hell you trying to do, hah? Kill me before you leave?”

Even saying the words has a sour tang burning through his mouth. Almost has him hopping you would consider finishing him off- at least then he wouldn’t have to watch you leave.

“No, no, none of that. Although, now that you mention it-“

“Don’t fuckin’ push it, Y/N.”

“You got it, boss.” You mock salute, and all Bakugou can focus on is how you hair shifts when you do. “If you take a closer look, I promise it’ll be much easier than you think. All you’ve gotta do is sign. I’ve been typing up your after reports for weeks now- just confirm your version of events with a signature and you’re golden.”

Your smile then is righteous, cavalier, borderline arrogant. Its the sort of look he’d smack right off anyone else- but you’re not exactly anyone else to him. So all he does is grimace. Focuses on his tea, steadfastly ignores the way light reflects in your eyes when you think you’ve won.

He wonders if you know just how big a prize you’ve really won- his heart, of all silly, disgusting, embarrassing things. He wonders whether or not you’d still smile when you found out.

“Doesn’t really feel golden if I still gotta sit down and go through all the damn things.” He flips through the stack. Is horrified to find that there are actually more papers there than when he initially looked. “Waste of my fuckin’ time.”

“I’ve got a pretty good hand for forgery- maybe we split the stack in half? Work half as hard for twice as much pay off?”

“Absolutely not.” He huffs, but can’t help the smile edging at his mouth. “Not gonna let ya hang around here just because you don’t wanna do PR stuff. I can see right fuckin’ through you.”

“Oops, guess you got me.”

“Mhm. Easy. You’re predictable as hell.”

“It’s not my fault!” You fuss dramatically, a hand falling on your hip as you pop it out. “You wouldn’t enjoy it either. You’re the one starting all those fires I gotta put out, you know?

Bakugou’s fallen for this before- the way you’ll almost seem to pick fights, just so you can tap your nails on the desk in front of him with a Slow down there, Angry, I was only joking.

Its the sort of antagonism that’s just Bakugou’s brand, and he’s never come across anyone like you. Someone who’d choose him to square up with- day after day after day.

So he feeds into it. Leans forward on his arms, reveals sharp canines when he grins. “Oh yeah? Complainin’ so much, maybe you should quit then.”

This is another one of his favorite games. The one where he eggs you on to just quit already, and the one where you never do.

“Well if I quit now, that’d just be shame, wouldn’t it? I’m so close to the end.” Your eyes test him, dare him. “I told you the first day I got here- I’ll be the first and only PA to survive you. You’re not gonna run me out that easy.”

The air feels hot. Charged. Drags him up by the collar until he’s standing, splays his hands on the desk and leans forward to look you in the eye.

“Still got another two days, don’t go speakin’ too fuckin’ soon.”

“I’m not.”

“You are. I’ll make damn sure of it.”

“Try your best.” Hardly inches away, you lean in a little closer. Refuse to back down. He can feel your breath fan across his face. “And besides, isn’t sticking a foot in your mouth usually your thing?”

The tension breaks a little.

And not because he’s crushed it under his fists, but because you have. He thinks there’s something meaningful in that- how you’re the only adversary he’d ever be willing to lose too. It’s not his fault, he reasons, couldn’t be when you smile like that.

When you know you’ve won, and you stand a little taller. Lean back on your heels and flash him a smile bright enough to blind. Bright enough to sear your intelligence into him.

That’s a part of you Bakugou likes to keep for himself. The part that he takes comfort in- as he’s the only person who can seem to bring it forth.

“Oh, and don’t worry about filing it all away at the end-“ You change the subject breezily, and he’s grateful. But he doesn’t miss the way your smile somehow curves even prouder. “Just sign ‘em and I’ll take care of all the rest. I’ve developed a pretty organized system you know.”

“And you’re just fuckin’ tellin’ me about this system now? Hell am I supposed to tell the new idiot, then?”

He’s a magnet once more, drawn close with each word he speaks. Until he’s just as close as before. It always ends this way for you and him: just barely inches away.

“Oh he’ll figure it out. I hired him. Won’t be as good as me, surely, but I’m sure you’ll manage.”

“I don’t wanna fuckin’ manage,” He says, scarred hand curling into a fist against the desk. “I just want-“

The word sits. Heavy and sullen and acrid on his tongue.

You.

It’s easy. It should be easy. It’s three little letters, one little word, all wrapped up in a package of all his best dreams and all his worst nightmares. And he’ll say it, he’ll just say it, Bakugou isn’t a coward, swears he isn’t, but there you go once again- making him a liar.

“What do you want?”

Your voice is a whisper. He can hear the way your breath shutters.

In your eyes, just inches away, he can see it. Another moment. Another opening. Another chance. He can say it, he knows he can, he just needs a second to breathe and-

“Bakugou. You have to tell me what you want.”

“I just want,” He breathes, screws his eyes shut. He can’t bear to see your face. “I just want things to be fuckin’ easy.”

At his words, your face drops a little. Something settles in the line of your brow and you straighten your shoulders, pulling them back until there’s a solid wall in front of him. He drops back into his seat.

“Well, if easy if what you want then I’m afraid I can’t give you that.” You try to joke, but the tone isn’t right. Neither are your eyes. “Can’t- I can’t guarantee that. Sorry.”

Then you’re gone, out the door before Bakugou can get another word in. The door shuts and the silence floods in. The air seeps back into his lungs. When he looks down, at the simplified paperwork on his desk, and the sticky note lying on top, Bakugou cringes.

You got this! You wrote. Drew a tiny little smiley face in upper right corner.

The irony isn’t lost on him. You seem to be able to say three little words just fine. Ink on a post-it note is all it takes for you.

I love you, He thinks.

And for some reason it makes Bakugou feel like the world is ending. You’ve rendered him so weak that a thought in his mind is all it takes for him.

—/—

Day 1

It’s a patrol day. Usually his favorite days. Or used to be anyways, before you showed up and started making office days enjoyable too.

Bakugou wonders what it’ll be like when you’re gone- when you’re not there waiting for him in the morning, walking at his side as you hand him a freshly laundered suit and a hot tea. The little details were always your forte, and for someone as particular as Bakugou, that was near irreplaceable.

So he tried to soak it up earlier. Tried to catalogue the details as best he could.

You walked in, greeted him with a smile that wasn’t as full as usual. That sat a little odd for a moment, but then you handed him a mug and all of his worries were swept away in the scent of matcha and vanilla. Then it was off to get changed, slip into his suit and fasten a gauntlet on each wrist. You followed him to the door on his way out- a tablet in hand as you read off patrol routes.

Bakugou can’t remember the words, but he remembers the way you spoke them to him. The way you always speak to him- like every syllable is important and invaluable. A secret just for the two of you.

Bakugou wonders what you’d think of his secret. If it’d send you even farther away or, miraculously, keep you close.

In all the best scenarios, the confession lands you in his arms. Pressed close to his chest and tucked up under his chin, in the space you painstakingly carved out for yourself. He never thought himself the gentle type, but if it meant that he could keep you, Bakugou figures he could learn. Would learn. Until you never dreamed of leaving his hold.

Or at least until you never dreamed of going very far.

Because there’s something thrilling about chasing you, some electric charge that he practically fiends for until he sees you again. If he thinks really hard, Bakugou could almost equate it to winning. Starts to think that maybe your lips would taste just like battlefield adrenaline. Like victory.

I love you, He’d say. And those three little words would make it all better. Would make you stay.

But that’s a ridiculous thought. A ridiculous wish. Something frivolous and dumb and impossible, he reminds himself. Because you have already proven to be so much more than just a PA, and would never think of chaining yourself to him while just on the brink of finally getting away.

His little fantasy world will stay in his head, stay in his heart where you’ve already made a home. Its better that way. Safer, he reasons. After all, Bakugou knows he’s greedy; knows that one kiss from you will never, ever, ever, be enough.

So he wipes the thought from his mind. Focuses on what can be enough.

A brutal victory against the first unlucky villain to cross his patrol path.

—/—

Day 0

This is it. The moment he’s been dreading for the past 3 days. If not longer.

“Hey, you busy?” You knock on the door frame, peek your head into his office with a wry smile. “I need your help.”

“Course you do- everybody always does.”

“C’mon, be a little nicer.” You chide, but there’s only indulgence and humor in your gaze. “It’s my last day.”

Bakugou feels a little sick. A little like the floor is wobbling beneath his feet, throwing him off as he walks toward you. Stopping just a few feet away, he tucks his hands into his pockets. The urge to touch you while he can almost makes him do something he’ll regret.

“What do you need?” He grumbles. “C’mon, out with it.”

“Help me move the last of my boxes into my car?”

Bakugou can’t think of anything he wants to do less. Not a single task on the entire planet could sound any worse than that right now. But he knows refusing is fruitless- because every second he carries a box is another second spent at your side.

A part of him hopes that you’re downplaying the issue. That what’s waiting for him isn’t just a few, but a sea of never-ending boxes.

“What, can’t carry ‘em yourself or something?” He brushes past you, knows that you’ll take his action as an answer. “Gettin’ weak on me?”

“No, I just- look.”

You grab his arm, spin him until he’s facing one of the hallway’s wide windows.

The sky is an endless grey, raining thick sheets onto the street outside. Everywhere Bakugou looks is a puddle. The entire street is flooded and running torrents of murky runoff into the gutters.

“Oh.”

“Yeah- oh.” You laugh a little. “Sky opened up literally the second I tried to take my stuff outside. Started pouring out of nowhere!”

“That’s shitty luck.”

“Yeah, no kidding. But that’s why I need you to carry a few things for me. So I can get it all done in one trip; avoid getting drenched as much as possible.”

Its on the tip of his tongue once more. Wait it out, he wants to say. Or maybe, Take it as a sign. Don’t leave me at all.

But that’s not fair. You’ve spent the last three weeks talking about your new position at another agency. How you’d be an Executive for the new agency, instead of just a personal assistant. It’s a better pay grade, a better employer, a step up.

So he keeps his mouth shut. Because Bakugou might be greedy, but he’s come a long way from the selfish boy of his past.

“Alright, alright. Whatever gets you outta my hair fastest.” He grumbles. “Gimme all the heaviest ones.”

“Why? Because you finally grew a heart and want to make my day easier?”

“No.” He shrinks back, borderline insulted. “I think I cut my workout short to see your annoying ass off. Need to make up for lost time.”

“Of course, of course, so,” You pause for a moment. “Pragmatic, aren’t you?”

The word stings a little. Pragmatic. It’s usually the sort of thing he’d take as a compliment, but he can’t now. Not when you look so resigned. So disappointed, when you start back down the hallway.

Bakugou follows you, all the way to his agency’s big glass doors. There’s 3 large boxes waiting there for him. And he sets aside the two largest easily, leaving the third smaller one for you. The rain keeps on outside, relentless and bruising just beyond the glass.

“It’s- this is kinda sad, isn’t it?” You ask, voice much smaller than he’s come to expect from you. “That I’m leaving, I mean. Three years is a long time.”

Bakugou watches you rub at your arms, your eyes trained to the floor. He wants to pull you in, draw you close until he can smooth out the crease between your eyebrows. Until he can convince himself that you’re not really going- because he agrees.

Three years is a long time.

His life, for as long as its been really, truly his, has been split up into three year increments. Three years of UA. Next was three years of being contracted into someone else’s agency. Then three years of having his own agency. And finally, three years of knowing you.

Its all in threes. Every little thing. And as he looks at the three boxes, Bakugou thinks that maybe this is fate. That his moment is here, now. That the rain was a gift he didn’t deserve but one he won’t squander. All he needs is just three more minutes. He’ll help you take the boxes out, and once you reach the car that’s when he’ll talk. He just needs a few more minutes. Three more minutes to love you the same way he has for the last three years.

“C’mon. Pick it up.” He nods toward the box. “Rain’s not lettin’ up, lets just get it over with.”

You face falls a little but you nod. Bakugou tries not to look, tries not to let his confidence shake the way his fingers have started to.

He follows you out, and you walk a little faster in the rain, but he can keep up. He can always keep up. Plans to follow at your heels for as long as you’ll allow him to.

I love you, He thinks.

The rain is drenching your sweater, leaving your hair clinging to your forehead. You look back, check to make sure he’s still following.

Bakugou can see the droplets caught in your eyelashes. Can see the rivulets running down your chin. There’s red in your cheeks from the chill and he’s not sure you’ve ever looked as beautiful as you are then.

It leaves him stunned, tunnel visioned as he follows. The boxes leave his arms aching but he won’t back down.

I love you, He thinks.

Your car is just a few feet ahead. You set your own box down, popping the trunk open with your other hand. There’s something strangely slow about the way you move- the way you’re holding out, dragging the moment on even as the rain soaks through your clothes.

You’ve just placed your box in, backing up to let Bakugou through. He can feel you behind him, a ghost hovering just inches away as he places his own boxes down and shuts the trunk.

This is it. He knows it. Can feel it in his bones, can feel it in the way they rattle beneath his skin in time to the rain. He’s had this last set of three, and he’s only going to ask for one tiny set more.

So, taking a deep breath, he closes his hand into a fist. Taps the trunk of your car with it, once, twice, three times.

I love you, He thinks, and Bakugou spins to face you.

“I- This isn’t fuckin’ right. You leavin’ like this.”

“What?”

You shrink back, and he can see the disbelief clear across your features. He’d never describe you as weak, never as vulnerable, but you stand there, hands clasped by your chest- and all he can think is defenseless. You’ve left yourself wide open for him, and Bakugou knows an opening when he sees it.

“I- I can’t let you leave like this.” He tries again, steps a little closer because there’s a chill creeping up his spine. Whether its the rain or the nerves doesn’t matter in the end, not with the way both are fixed by the warmth of proximity. “I have to-“

“Have to what?”

“I have to-“

The words are there, heavy once more, and he can’t get them out. Can’t utter them across a tongue that won’t listen, out of lips that feel so much unlike his own in that moment. So he skips the words, brings his hands up to cradle your chin. Brushes the damp hair back from your eyes. He looks at you, and wonders if he looks just as winded. If there’s as much hope in his eyes as there is in yours.

You nod, and the choice is practically made for him.

He’s kissing you, lips against yours, heat writhing in his skin like he’s possessed. There’s nothing but you and him and the rain and he never wants this to end. He doesn’t want to ever stop. Doesn’t think he ever can. Not now that he’s finally had a taste.

When you pull away, gasping for breath, he chases you. Can hardly help himself and doesn’t even begin trying to. He knows what he wants and its right there in front of him. You have always been right there in front of him. So he pulls you back in. Until he’s left only breathing the air you allow for him. Bakugou finds that there’s something so supremely satisfying about your lips against his. It’s like salve for all the blisters you’ve accidentally been giving him, all that yearning and craving soothed in a single moment.

“Slow down,” You finally manage to pull away, laughing and breathless. So happy in that moment. So sunny and blithe that it has his heart doing somersaults in his chest. “I’m not gonna disappear.”

And he can’t help it then, the way he pulls you forward again. Because your words made him ache, made him realize just how close he’d come to losing it all. To letting you walk away from him. He kisses you for every moment he’s been thinking those three little words. For every day of the last three years that he didn’t.

“You can- you can leave,” He heaves the words against you mouth, resting his forehead against yours. “But you have to- have to fuckin’ come back. ‘s an order.”

“And order, huh?” You laugh.

“Yes.” And he pulls you closer into his arms, presses you up against his chest and tucked under his chin. In the spot you painstakingly carved out for yourself. “It is.”

You laugh again, and he’s obsessed with the way he can feel it rumble through your chest. The way he can feel it expanding your ribcage against his, warming the both of you the whole way through. He realizes then, that more than anything, Bakugou wants to keep you laughing this close to him. Forever preferably, but he figures once more is a pretty good start. So he digs deep, for the best comedic material he can think of, and all he can come up with is-

“Alright. Now you can go. I don’t gotta do anything anymore, so get the hell outta my sight, dumbass.”

You roll your eyes then, but a tiny laugh does tumble out, and all Bakugou can taste is your lips and victory.

“You’re a dick. I’m never kissing you again.”

He just grins something wicked. “Lyin’s not a good habit to get into.”

You take the bait, he can see it in the set of your eyebrows. Then your leaning forward, fingers coming up to cradle his jaw as you tilt his head.

“Who says I’m lying?”

I love you, He thinks.

And the second he stops kissing you, Bakugou swears he’ll finally voice it out loud. After all, its just another set of three to add to his list; three little words to sum up three of his best years.

—/—

hi hi hi i hope u all enjoyed!! tysm for reading and pls pls pls consider listening to Three by Sleeping At Last !!! its what inspired this little fic :)))) its such a pretty song and gives me big bakugou vibes. n was a pretty fun excuse to write sum pining!bakugou bc i swear there will never ever be enough of that

also for those asking about I Melt With You,, dw im still writing it,, just took a break!! ill try to post the next chapter soon :)))

#bakugou katsuki #bnha bakugou #katsuki bakugou #bakugou x reader #bnha fic #bakugou x y/n #mha bakugou #mha fic #bakugou imagine #bakugou x you

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sometimes-men-need-help-too · 2 years

Note

Can I ask what you mean by “men’s rights?” I know men face issues because of the patriarchy, but could you explain to me how misandry effects men’s rights? Don’t men live in a privileged position, say for example, not having to worry about things like the debate for bodily autonomy that Roe v. Wade brings up? And I’m not talking about trans men that are included within that conversation, I’m talking cishet white men who don’t face oppression. What does the phrase “men’s rights” mean in that lens? How can cishet white men be oppressed by misandry?

I actually have an ask about this, asking me what I mean by men's rights from April that I haven't answered yet. I've started working on it though and stopped because of school and it's just been in my drafts for the time being. However, I'll get it out sometime before August , hopefully. I won't go into detail here because as I said, I have that ask. If you want, and you're not already following this blog, you can message me and I'll message you when it's finished or something like that.

> but could you explain to me how misandry effects men’s rights?

I don’t understand what you mean by that. Misandry is: dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against men (i.e. the male sex)

Similarly to feminism fighting against misogyny, men’s rights fights against misandry

> Don’t men live in a privileged position, say for example, not having to worry about things like the debate for bodily autonomy that Roe v. Wade brings up?

I don’t believe men are privileged and I think that kind of talk (and I’m not saying this a some sort of accusation or something against you) leads to less compassion for men’s issues. That may not be the way everyone who believes that feels, but some do and it can slowly come to that over time. Those people will start looking at men as though they have it easy or easier and that is incorrect. Both men and women have their own problems.

As for bodily anatomy, circumcision falls under that.

> What does the phrase “men’s rights” mean in that lens? How can cishet white men be oppressed by misandry?

Respectfully, it doesn’t matter. Them being white or straight or not trans doesn’t mean they’re not going to feel the consequences of misandry. One such example is rape. men, as a whole, don’t really get recognized as rape victims. That is one of the big problems men face. It’s not even just with the regular people--it’s the laws set in place. The laws are excluding them and I’ll show you two examples from the response I have for that ask:

This is Georgia 's law (From the US)

As mandated by O.C.G.A. § 16-6-1, the offense of rape occurs when there is any penetration of the female sex organ by the male sex organ of:

a female forcibly and against her will, or

a female who is less than ten years of age.

This is from Switzerland:

Any person who forces a person of the female sex by threats or violence, psychological pressure or by being made incapable of resistance to submit to sexual intercourse is liable to a custodial sentence of from one to ten years.

That’s a problem, as I said. Every rape victim should be recognized and given help and justice. But how is that supposed to happen in situations like this? Then you have the regular people; the people who who laugh and make jokes and all. That’s not cool and especially not on someone’s mental health. And I acknowledge that there are men doing it as well which is wrong. But there are also plenty of women who don’t take the notion of male victims seriously either.

Anyway, the answer to the ask that I will get done eventually, will go into much more detail. It will feature other topics like homelessness, how men are treated with their mental health differently and a lack of resources, the discrimination within the legal system, etc etc

Sources:

https://bixonlaw.com/georgia-rape-laws/

https://fedlex.data.admin.ch/filestore/fedlex.data.admin.ch/eli/cc/54/757_781_799/20200701/en/pdf-a/fedlex-data-admin-ch-eli-cc-54-757_781_799-20200701-en-pdf-a.pdf

Also thank you for the ask!

#mens rights #answered asks

15 notes · View notes

biletdoux · 4 years

Text

stages of love | j.jh

Pairing | jung jaehyun (nct) + female!reader Rating | M Genre + Tropes | college!au, romance (angst, fluff, smut) Warnings | explicit language, alcohol consumption, instant love?, sexual content (drunk sex, receiving and giving oral, penetration, cow girl position, nipple play), greyzone fidelity Length | 15k+

Summary | A playlist for the trials and tribulations of a beating heart

(Or; your relationship with Jung Jaehyun in ten songs.)

Note: ahhhhhhh!!!! we finally did it boisssss. this fic has been a long time coming and honestly im sick and tired of jaehyun. i’ve spent too long thinking about him for this fic smh. this is also my first time writing smut so we’ll see how that goes lmao. anyway this was a long labor of love so please let me know what you thought of it !!! <333

1. Peach by IU

smitten at first sight.

“How can I explain this feeling?”

“Alright, I think that sums up about everything we need to cover for today’s lecture. Remember, most of this will be on your final exam. Any questions before you’re all dismissed?”

Your professor looks up from the board, scans the room and all he sees are most of the students waiting with bated breath, itching to leave the class, and half of those students having already packed their belongings in anticipation. He held them back an extra twenty five minutes today, which is notably longer than previous lectures in which he delayed dismissal.

“Okay, you’re free to go. Chapters nineteen and twenty are due the next time we meet.”

You breathe out a sigh of relief, ready to head out with the rest of the class. You like Professor Jang and find that he makes history somewhat digestible, but he has a tendency to lose track of time, which is inconvenient, but more so today since you have agreed to meet up with Yeri. You glance at your phone to see text notifications and curse to yourself. You’re already ten minutes late and Yeri is many things and impatient is one of them.

You’re one of the first out of the small lecture hall and you shoot her a quick reply before making your way to the oncampus cafe. Through quickened strides and shortcuts engrained from cross-campus treks from class to class, you arrive in record time. You’re slightly out of breath and impressed by your speed, but you stop, frozen in your tracks when you see Yeri’s displeased face. You find her situated in a small, but cozy corner next to the windows, already unpacked with notebooks and papers strewn on the desk ready to review for exams. It's one of the best study spots in the cafe and you immediately know your best friend had to come extra early to nab such a sought after table.

“About time,” she scowls, “what took you so long?”

You shoot her an apologetic look, “aww, Yeri,” you pout your lips a little too dramatically, “I’m sorry. I just came from history and you know how Professor Jang is.”

Yeri looks at your jutted lips in disgust, but then her face softens in consideration. “Hm, I do know Jang.” She scrunches up her nose remembering her time in his class last semester. “That old man can talk for days on end and he never lets anyone leave class early. I guess I’ll let you go this time.”

You beam at her knowing she’s no longer angry for your tardiness. “Great, drinks are on me today. It’s the least I can do for being late.” Yeri forgives as easily and as quickly as she loses her temper. You learned this after a few weeks of being her roommate.

Yeri says nothing in silent agreement and you place your stuff down across the table next to the chair she reserves for you. You pull out your wallet and weave through the packed cafe to head to the order counter. The line is long and you patiently review the menu. Your roommate has consistent tastes and always orders a vanilla frappuccino regardless of which cafe she goes to, but you base your decision on your mood. You mull over your choices and by the time you reach the barista taking your order, you decide you’re in an ‘iced Americano’ kind of mood today. You have exams on top of exams you need to review for and a stronger caffeine kick is much needed.

After paying, you head back to the table with two drinks in tow. Yeri takes her drink and after you both take a few sips and catch up for the day, you dive straight to work. The two of you decide to review for statistics.

Between re-summarizing chapters and answering review questions, you muse to yourself about how your college experience thus far hasn't been that much different from your high school life. You didn’t necessarily hate high school, per say, but it was safe to say you didn’t enjoy it. Your heart was in the arts, specifically music, and you had found studying the core subjects to be boring and tedious. You remember being ecstatic to have been accepted and enrolled in a performing arts college, foolishly thinking your days of solving differential equations and memorizing chemical formulas were over. You specifically remember daydreaming of your hours being filled with keyboard practice and composition notes and only such things. Somehow the reality of mandatory general education courses slipped your mind when you constructed such fantasies.

Despite frivolous and preconceived notions of college, you have already survived a semester and you are nearly through your second.

“Hey, do you remember when this stats assignment is due?” Yeri’s inquiring voice snaps you out of your brief reverie and you search your cluttered brain for a date.

“Uh, I think it’s due, like, a few days before the final, but I’d have to double check.”

Yeri nods. “Alright, well let’s take a small break. We have some time till then, we don’t have to finish all of it today.”

You happily agree and set down your pen. Yeri takes a sip of her frappuccino and you lean over the table to get closer to her. “Anyway, did you hear about what happened with Jiwon and Youngjae from the entertainment management department?”

Her eyes glisten with wicked interest. “No. Do tell.”

Break time is always synonymous with gossip hour between you and Yeri.

You spend the next fifteen minutes dishing what you know and Yeri offers her own input whenever she feels fit.

“And they think they’re being discreet, but the whole dorm knows they’ve been sneaking around, but guess wha─” Before you can finish your sentence, you are cut off by a loud and energetic voice calling out Yeri’s name.

The two of you look up to see a slim and boyish brunet waving to Yeri and excitedly making his way to your table. He looks vaguely familiar, but you can’t quite place your finger on it, so you let it go.

He smiles happily at Yeri and greets her. “Hey Yeri, how’s it going?” He notices you there and gives you a polite wave, which you return in the same manner.

Yeri replies back breezily, but with her full attention. “Good. Did you need anything, Mark?”

He flushes just the slightest bit, but it doesn’t escape your eyes. “Erm, nothing I just wanted to remind you that we’re meeting for the music theory project tomorrow at four. I would’ve texted, but I forgot to get your number in class, and I saw you here and thought it was a good opportunity to tell you.”

Yeri’s eyes widen, “ah right! I completely forgot about it. It’s a good thing you found me here today, huh? Here, I’ll give you my number.”

She reaches her hand out her hand expectantly, and Mark is confused before scrambling to pull out his phone. You can tell Mark looks flustered while Yeri is calmly putting in her contact information. After finishing, she hands his phone back, “okay, all set. Just shoot me a text so I have your number as well. Thanks for reminding me today or I probably would’ve forgotten and not have shown up or something.”

Mark smiles again, this time a little more sure than before. “All good. I’ll see you tomorrow, Yeri.”

They wave goodbye and you watch Mark scamper from the cafe. Your eyes follow him, but Yeri is already focused on you again, paying Mark’s retreating form no mind.

“So…” you start.

“So?” She returns.

“He’s cute.”

“Yeah, maybe,” she shrugged. “I barely know him though. We have music theory together, but this is the first time we’ve talked all semester and we’re only talking because we got paired up for a project.”

Yeri seems apathetic and you study her closely. You notice she’s acting a little too stiffly carefree to be truly indifferent to the situation. You can’t help, but to tease her a bit. “Well, make the most out of this project then.”

Yeri gives you a hard look and you decide to let it go despite finding your best friend’s situation to be amusing.

“Anyway, keep telling me about Jiwon and Youngjae. You never finished.” Yeri changes the topic, knowing that you might decide to pester her again if she doesn’t.

“As I was saying,” you started up again. A figure outside catches your attention and you peer outside through the window past Yeri’s shoulders. You realize it’s Mark and you watch with interest as he gestures excitedly, pointing to something in his hand, you assume his phone, to some of his friends. From there your eyes wander absentmindedly from one person to the next, and it’s when you see him.

The reaction is almost instantaneous.

“Like you were saying?” Yeri urges, but her words fall on deaf ears, for all your attention is captured by the boy next to Mark with heart-shaped lips.

When you see said boy laugh, you notice he has moon for eyes and you unconsciously suck in a sharp breath. You must have been staring too intently without noticing because he turns his head in your direction and you two hold direct eye contact. Like a deer caught in headlights, you freeze and lose all rational thought. Your head is completely blank. You have never seen someone so beautiful and your mind does not know how to process any sensory information at the moment.

Someone calls the boy away and the entire group of friends leave. It’s only then do you find yourself releasing a breath you didn’t know you had been holding onto so tightly. Your heart is pounding and you feel as though blood is rushing through your ears.

“Hello?” Yeri sounds annoyed, but you struggle to find the words to answer her.

You feel a sudden heat rush to color your cheeks a vibrant red and a feeling surges through you that leaves you out of breath and weak at the knees. A steady warmth washes over you quietly and you feel it deep within yourself and you can’t help but let out a small laugh.

How silly, you muse. Not to be dramatic, but you think you’re in love.

2. Shadow by f(x)

adoration from afar.

“I’m really really into you.”

The next few weeks are packed to the brim with assignments and papers, but despite this, you still find time for your personal research into the boy who was with Mark that day.

Being the obvious first and easiest option, you beg Yeri to ask Mark directly about his friend, but she immediately shoots you down.

“No. Absolutely not. At least not anytime soon anyway,” she huffs. “I’ve barely held two full conversations with him, like hell the next is gonna be about his friend just cause my best friend started thirsting over him after one glance. I mean come on, girl.” She shakes her head at you.

Yeri’s right and you apologize to her for being thoughtless of her situation. She doesn’t say it, but she seems really hopeful about the music theory project and what might bloom from it. You would not want to impede on such possibilities of happiness for your friend, so you let that option go, but Yeri promises to help in other ways and she does.

Somehow between caffeine fueled cram sessions and sleep deprivation, you, with Yeri’s help manage to find out more about the boy. You casually ask around in your contemporary writing and production department and she offers help by searching her vocal performance department.

You find out his name is Jung Jaehyun and he’s a third year in the musical theatre department and that he’s a member of the local chapter of the performing arts fraternity on campus. You also discover his Instagram handle and you find yourself skimming through his page throughout the day more often than you’re willing to admit to any living soul.

You occasionally see him around campus since you first saw him at the cafe and each time, you can feel your heart hammer in your chest and you become so flustered to the point of your sympathetic nervous system activating. Unfortunately for you, your body unconsciously chooses flight each and every time at the sight of Jaehyun because you can always feel your knees go weak and your body lurch away to escape in any direction that isn’t Jaehyun’s. You kind of hate yourself each time you do, but you can’t help it. He’s just so pretty that it’s intimidating!

You try to think positive after the bouts of shame you experience after each escapade.

Well there’s no way to embarrass yourself in front of him if you run away before having the chance to, right?

Even thinking about it now in the comfort of your bed, you can’t shake your self-consciousness and bury your face in a large pillow resting on your knees. Your cheeks are burning and you don’t know what to do.

“Hey, why don’t you just talk to him, instead of moping all day and stalking his profile like a creep.” Yeri’s crisp words cut through your musings and you glance up to see her entering your shared room in the dorms.

“Shut up. It’s not like I have a benevolent match-making professor who happens to pair me up with my crush for an end-of-semester project.” You retort back before sighing dramatically, “I literally have no excuse to talk to him. We’re not in the same year or major. We don’t even have mutual friends. Unless, y’know, you and Mark hit it off, who knows.”

Yeri sits down next to you on your small twin bed, resting her head on your shoulder while letting out an equally dramatic sigh, “yeah, well, Mark’s so dense, all the divine intervention in the world isn’t going to help me.”

You let out snort, “what’s up with you two anyway?”

“Y’know, I could’ve sworn he was into me and I had a chance with him, but every time we meet up we literally only work on the project and nothing else. Every time I sort of tried to do something I get shot down. Like I told him I was kind of chilly today in the library, and he looks all thoughtful for a moment but all he ends up saying is ‘yeah, all the buildings on campus are always cold, huh? Good thing I always bring a jacket with me. You should bring one too next time, I don’t want you getting cold.’ And then he just turns back to the project like nothing. Can you believe him?” Yeri complains and you swear her annoyance is palpable. “And every time I text him to hangout, he thinks it’s to work on the project. I honestly can’t tell if he’s really that stupid or if he’s just not into me.”

You laugh at her unfortunate, but undeniable state of love affairs.

“Really? That bad? I remember him being all blushy when he asked for your number,” you recall. “And you should’ve seen how he looked when he showed off he got your number. Well that’s what it looked like anyway, I could be wrong.”

“Well, at least I’ll get a good grade though. Mark is nothing if not diligent and hard-working, with him being a double major and all.” Yeri sounds resigned however, she sighs again, this time more frustrated and you hear the determination in her voice. “Alright, after finals, for sure we’re gonna hit the clubs. We need to let loose, have some fun.”

You agree with her to appease her short temper, but deep down you feel disappointed. You feel sorry for your friend, having genuinely wanted Mark and her to work out, but a small and selfish part of you felt sorry for having no bridge to Jaehyun at all if it didn’t work out between Yeri and Mark. Looks like you were stranded now and you’d have to find a way to Jaehyun one way or another, but your line of help ends here.

Shaking away such negative thoughts, you think to yourself how soju bombs and dance floors don’t so bad after such an intense exam period after all. It will definitely take your mind off of things for sure.

And even though you say this to yourself, you know your mind will still be plagued with Jung Jaehyun no matter how much you try.

3. What Is Love by EXO-K

careful contemplation.

“I can’t explain what I feel.”

“Mark, tell me you did not.” The disbelief in Johnny’s voice made the situation all the more hilarious and even Jaehyun, who’s the calmer of the two, couldn’t suppress the guffaw from escaping his lips.

The tips of Mark’s ears flush a light pink and he tries to deliver a convincing argument, but all that comes out is a meek stammer, further driving Johnny up the wall.

When Mark came up to his and Johnny’s room asking for advice, Jaehyun had an idea of where it was going to lead, considering Mark’s clueless disposition and inexperienced track record, but Jaehyun had no idea it was going to be this bad.

Mark, having developed a crush on a fellow vocal performance major in his music theory class, came to Johnny, his frat big, to spill his guts and ask for advice constantly. Being Johnny’s roommate, meant Jaehyun was also privy to all the details of Mark’s love life and he had no problem giving advice to the amusing first year student, which Mark appreciated because going to Johnny meant a clowning session before he could get any useful nuggets of information.

When Mark’s music theory professor randomly assigned the two for the end of semester project, Mark was one part excited and two parts nervous, resulting in a frazzled mess. He has been going up to the second room on the right of the second floor of the frat house almost every other day to ask for advice since then.

Johnny was thrilled when he initially heard of the project, already envisioning his little’s love prospects, stating something along the lines of “my little’s gonna get laid!”

However, now looking at Johnny rubbing his temples in exasperation, Jaehyun can tell that his roommate’s initial enthusiasm has dissipated.

Mark’s daily roadblock today consisted of his crush giving him the cold shoulder and being much more snappy than before in the project meet up earlier. Mark recalls Yeri’s anger toward him and racks his brain for an answer. Even Johnny and Jaehyun are stumped at the sudden behavior, assuming that things were going smoothly from Mark’s previous reports filled with clumsy, but endearing and ultimately positive signs. It’s only when Mark offhandedly mentions her so-called ‘strange’ comment about the temperature, does it become clear why Yeri’s attitude suddenly shifted so drastically.

“I mean, I don’t know what I did wrong.” Mark’s second attempt to defend himself has Johnny flaring his nostrils in indignation and Jaehyun has to turn away in an attempt to stifle his laughter.

“Dude, she’s so into you. Or, at least she was, I don’t know about it anymore.” Johnny starts after calming down. “She left herself wide open for you to take a clear shot and you effectively said to her face, ‘thanks but no thanks’ and then walked away. No wonder she’s pissed, I’d be pissed too.”

“Well, what was I supposed to do then?” Mark counters.

“Mark,” Johnny begins, his tone dry and coarse, “you’re killing me.”

Jaehyun deems this the perfect time to step in, the laughter about done coursing through his system at this point. He clears his throat before offering his input, “It’s not too, too bad. Johnny’s just being dramatic. If she likes you enough, she’ll probably forgive you if you play your cards right from here on out.”

Mark perks up, his attention solely on Jaehyun.

Jaehyun hums absentmindedly to himself, gathering and organizing his thoughts to properly explain exactly where and how Mark went wrong and what to do moving forward. When Jaehyun opens his mouth to speak, Mark is glued on to every word and Jaehyun can see the gears in his brain whirring at high speeds.

By the time Jaehyun is done, Johnny has calmed down and Mark nods his head fervently in understanding.

“Ah, that makes so much sense now! I got it now.”

Despite his assurances, both Johnny and Jaehyun know Mark will be back soon.

“Alright little, listen up,” Johnny starts. “Here’s the game plan from here on out.”

Johnny goes off on a sermon, determined to help his little ‘get some’ as Johnny so delicately puts it. Jaehyun can see it’s not the most tasteful of word choice for Mark to hear, but the youngest says nothing.

Lounging lazily in the bean bag on his side of the room, Jaehyun knocks his head back and thinks of a few weeks back when he accompanied Mark and some other frat members to the rec center for some basketball. Jaehyun remembers Mark was bemoaning the fact he forgot to ask for some girl’s number and it was as if a higher entity heard the boy’s laments and felt especially gracious, because right as they were passing the cafe, Mark stopped in his tracks and suddenly ran off into the busy building.

The group of frat boys watched him excitedly weave his way through the crowd of bodies and occupied tables to reach a table with two girls. When they saw the girl putting her number into Mark’s phone, Johnny elbowed Jaehyun, and like a proud parent Johnny exaggeratedly acknowledged his little. “They grow up so fast, don’t they, Jaehyun.” Johnny even wiped an imaginary tear from his eye to really send the message home.

It was only a few moments later and Mark came bounding out of the cafe, eager to show everyone how lucky it was that he happened to see her. “I mean what are the odds, right?” the said boy exclaimed so happily, his cheer so infectious, Jaehyun couldn’t help himself from letting out a laugh of his own.

Jaehyun turned to give Mark an encouraging pat on the back and it’s when he notices a pair of eyes on him. He turns fully to come in the direct line of sight of a girl whose eyes, Jaehyun imagined to have been very warm, had they not been burning holes into him. Her intense gaze slightly unnerved him, but not to the point of pulling away. He found himself entranced and the only thing that broke the quick spell was Johnny’s voice, calling him to move it along.

Jaehyun recalls easily breaking eye contact and giving little thought to the strange girl with fire for eyes, but as the days passed, Jaehyun couldn’t shake the thought of her from his mind.

Even now in the comfort of his room and with Johnny and Mark not even a foot away, carefully planning Mark’s love endeavors, all Jaehyun’s mind can really focus on is the thought of you.

Jaehyun is sure he’s only looked at you for less than a minute, but somehow he’s able to clearly trace out the image of you that day, like a perfect snapshot.

“Yo Jaehyun,” Johnny calls. “You good? You’ve been spacing out, bro.”

“Yeah, I’m good.” Jaehyun answers offhandedly, before contemplating to himself. Was he good? Jaehyun wouldn’t necessarily say he’s bad in any way, but it isn’t normal for him to have the thought of a girl remain so clearly engraved in his mind for so long, and even less common for it to actually be a girl he doesn’t even know nonetheless. It’s not a pressing issue, but it does bother him. He weighs over the next steps in his mind.

“Alright, just making sure.”

With one last thought, Jaehyun concludes to himself that it’s time to tackle his concern at hand head-on.

“Actually,” he starts, “Mark, do you remember the girl next to Yeri the day you asked for her number?”

Mark quirks his head in thought and Jaehyun can see Johnny raise his eyebrows in sudden interest.

“Uh kinda,” Mark answers. “I think she’s a CWP major. I’m pretty sure we shared an arranging class last semester, but like, I don’t know her personally or anything; it was a large lecture. To be honest, I don’t even think she recognized me at all, judging from her reaction that day. Why, what’s up?”

Jaehyun nods, absorbing the information, giving Johnny ample time to fire away.

“Yeah Jaehyun,” Jaehyun can visualize the glint in Johnny��s eyes just from hearing his mischievous tone. “What is up? I haven’t seen you ask about a girl in a hot minute. Thought you suddenly went abstinent without telling me or something.”

Jaehyun isn’t quite sure how to reply. Without a doubt you were cute to Jaehyun and he wouldn’t be opposed for things to happen between the two of you, but he doesn’t even know you! Well, not that it’s been a problem for Jaehyun in the past, but your lingering presence bothers him in ways he cannot communicate. Why is that the thought of you won’t leave him and why does it bother him so much?

Jaehyun decides to be straightforward, as straightforward as his muddled brain allows him to be. “She’s cute. I wanna get to know her.”

“Okay, Jaehyun.” Johnny whoops obnoxiously. “I see you.”

Mark is surprised and suddenly Johnny is all fired up again. Abruptly, Johnny shoots up and the determination that burns in his eyes is admirable.

“I’ve got it!” He declares proudly.

Jaehyun and Mark are quiet, waiting patiently for him to continue. They say nothing, knowing there is not a thing that can reach him when Johnny gets like this.

“We’re throwing a party and you bet your ass your two girls are gonna be there.”

4. Heaven by Ailee

walking on Cloud 9.

“When I hear your voice, it feels like I’m dreaming.”

You look up at the two-story house before you and wonder how you got here. Actually, you don’t wonder at all because you know exactly how you ended up at the steps of the local performing arts fraternity at your college, but you sigh regardless, as if someone had weaseled you into being here. Your nerves gnaw at you and you feel your stomach doing all types of aerobic tricks, the feeling reminiscent of the sensation before the roller coaster drops.

Yeri grabs your hand and pulls you excitedly to the front door. You can feel the thrum of music emanating from the building.

You recall how Yeri almost jumped you to tell the good news.

Finals flew by without any major hitches, ignoring sleepless nights and caffeine crashes. You don’t know how you’ll do, but you’re satisfied with your exam performances. You were in the clear and were just waiting for Yeri to present her joint music theory project before the both of you could finally let loose as a celebration to end the school year.

You waited for her outside of the classroom building as promised, playing with your phone to past time until you were suddenly engulfed by a delighted pair of arms. Yeri hugged you tight; she was in high spirits, seemingly from acing her presentation and you hugged her back in congratulations. She pulled at you closer and whispered in your ears, “just say yes.”

You were confused, but looked up to see Mark headed toward the two you. Yeri released you, leaving one arm still slung casually over your shoulder.

“Hey guys. My frat’s throwing a party tonight to celebrate finishing exams. I was wondering if, uh, you guys wanted to come? I mean you don’t have to, it’s totally optional.”

You didn’t say anything at first and Yeri interjected, “Of course!” She smiled at you innocently despite harshly pinching you to respond, her action hidden from Mark’s sight. “We’d love to, right?”

“Uh,” you answered distractedly. “Y-yeah, sure.”

“Great.” Mark beamed. “Party starts at eight. I gotta go help set up, so I’ll see ya there!”

And with that, he left as soon as he arrived and you looked at Yeri questioningly for answers. “I thought we were hitting downtown tonight. What happened to club hopping?”

Yeri smiled devilishly, “change of plans. I’ll tell you more about it later. The most important thing is finding the perfect outfit for you tonight, cause Jaehyun’s gonna be there.”

And so, here you find yourself dressed in high-waisted shorts and a cute top that took an embarrassingly long time to decide on. You are greeted by the fraternity president at the door of the house, Taeyong you think his name is, and he gives you two a quick verbal tour of the place, really emphasizing where to get drinks. Yeri thanks him for the both of you and you enter the crowded house. You think at least half of the performing art majors must’ve been here judging by the sheer volume of packed bodies.

You remember Yeri explaining how she and Mark may have been making a breakthrough and this party was imperative for its success. You were completely okay attending for that reason alone, because after all, what kind of person sends her best friend to a frat party alone? However, your resolve to go was set in stone after she explained that the frat that was throwing the party just happened to be the same frat Jaehyun was a member of.

“And y’know, seeing as how you’ve been obsessing over him the past few weeks, it’s the perfect opportunity.”

You frown remembering her words and make your way to the kitchen with Yeri in tow. Various beverages, alcoholic and non-alcoholic, crowd the table and you recognize the guy standing nearby idly chatting with others. It’s Jaemin, an acting major in your history lecture with whom you frequently exchange notes with when either one of you decides to flake for the day. You vaguely recall him mentioning his fraternity association, but didn’t realize it happened to be this one. He sees the two of you approaching the drink table and he smiles widely.

“Oh hey, what’s up?” Jaemin greets casually. “Didn’t expect to see you here. How’d you think you did in the history final?”

You groan. “I don’t even want to talk about it. What’s important is that we’re finished and I won’t ever have to think about the WWII timeline for, hopefully, forever.”

“Amen,” Jaemin laughs. “I’ll drink to that.” He raises up his red solo cup to cheers, before realizing both you and Yeri had nothing to drink.

“Oh shit, I’m a pretty bad host, huh? First thing I should've done was get you two something to drink.” He chides himself, but his tone is playful. “What can I get for you, ladies?”

Before you can think about what you want, Yeri cuts you off, her tone matching Jaemin’s. “How about some shots to start off and we’ll forgive the lack of hospitality.”

Jaemin laughs again. “Alright, I like it.” His hands are adept at weaving around the table and finding the paper shot cups and the vodka. “Svedka’s okay, right?”

“We’re not picky.” You and Yeri agree. You take the shot in one gulp and the unpleasant burning in your throat makes you wince.

“Can I get you two anything else?”

“Yeah,” you say. “I think another shot and then a mixed drink. Anything’s fine, but preferably on the stronger side.” You look over at Yeri and she nods in agreement.

“Coming right up.” Jaemin agrees easily.

He pours the two of you another shot and you think he must be a generous guy because the shot is overflowing. You and Yeri cheer once more while Jaemin gets to work mixing a cherry bourbon with some Coke. He tops off the drinks with some ice before handing it over to the both of you. “Here they are. Enjoy, ladies.”

You thank him and take a sip before excusing yourself to make your way around the party. The drink is sweet and the smoky aftertaste of the bourbon gives it a pleasant edge. You and Yeri are attached to the hip as you drift from one part to another around the party, making easy going small talk along the way. You are sufficiently buzzed by this point and feel much lighter as though the party was somehow two degrees removed from your senses. You look over to check on Yeri and she’s noticeably drunker than you are, giggling about the simplest of things and slurring her words just the slightest bit. You make a mental note to ease the drinking, wanting to be sober enough to look after her in case anything were to arise.

The two of you are at the base of the stairs when you hear Mark’s voice calling Yeri’s name. You turn your attention upward to see him ambling down the stairs with excited fervor. His cheeks are flushed, more so than usual around Yeri, and you can tell it’s due to alcohol because Mark is holding her hands and you know he can never be so bold without the help of liquid courage.

“Yo Mark, slow down there.” A voice calls out and you look up again and you feel your breath caught in your throat.

There in front of your eyes is Jung Jaehyun in the flesh. He looks heavenly dressed in simple jeans and a white tee. You unconsciously swallow the lump in your throat and your heart beat gallops a mile a minute in your chest. Your mouth goes dry and you mindlessly gulp down swigs of your drink. You know Yeri would’ve sniggered at your current state had she not been so tipsy and completely preoccupied with Mark.

Jaehyun catches up to Mark and when he reaches the base of the stairs, he notices the two of you.

“Oh Jaehyun, lemme introduce you guys.”

As promised, Mark introduces everyone quickly and Jaehyun shoots a smile that seems to be aimed at you. “Nice to meet everyone.”

“Cool, now that everyone knows each other,” Mark starts. “Yeri, can I show you something?”

“Uh, y-yeah.”

You give Yeri a hard look and she takes your hand to squeeze it in reassurance. She looks at you pleadingly and there’s a confidence in her eyes that you can’t argue with. You relent and let her go.

Mark takes her by the hand and leads her up the stairs while you watch, slightly worried.

Jaehyun seems to have sensed your apprehension because the words that leave his mouth snaps you out of your perturbed state. “Don’t worry. Mark’s a good kid, you have nothing to worry about. You have my word on it.”

And suddenly the situation dawns on you. The boy of your recent all-consuming infatuation stands here before you, and it’s just the two of you alone. Any social skills you have, leave you and you’re unsure of what to do.

Jaehyun notices the awkward tension in the air and works quickly to dispel it. “Your drink’s looking low. Can I get you something else?”

You look down to your drink to see that he was right. Only a few sips remain. You didn’t realize you had drank so much at the sight of Jaehyun.

“Um, some water would be good. I don’t want to be too hungover tomorrow.” You answer shyly. You also need to be sober enough to look after Yeri, but you decide to leave that out.

Jaehyun chuckles, “sure thing. Here, come with me. I’ll get you some water.”

Jaehyun leads you to the kitchen with ease, seamlessly weaving through the crowds of people. Every group of people he passes greets him loudly to be heard of the pounding bass of the music. You are not surprised to see how popular he is.

Once in the kitchen, he grabs you a bottle of water and a beer for himself from the fridge and you thank him. The cold water is refreshing, but it does little to cool your nerves. The awkward tension is high and still ever present. You feel as though you’re drowning in it and you also feel like running away from here despite this being what you’ve wanted for more than anything for weeks on end.

“So,” Jaehyun starts, clearing his throat. “Mark told me you’re a CWP major?”

“Uh, y-yeah, actually.” You hate how you’re so flustered around him. “How’d he know? Did Yeri tell him or something?”

“He said you guys shared an arranging class last semester.” Jaehyun recalls.

“Wait, really? I had no idea.” You start going off on how you could’ve missed such a thing and Jaehyun smiles. You’re much more comfortable when a rhythm has been established and the words flow out of you easily. You’re not as relaxed as where Jaehyun wants you to be, but he thinks it’s a good start.

You continue with small talk from there, much less uptight than before and you feel glad. Jaehyun is as radiant in person as he is in your imagination. You find him to be very kind and your heart flutters even more. Jaehyun mentions he’s a musical theatre major and you do your best to act surprised despite it being one of the only things you know about him prior to this moment.

Before he gets a chance to tell you more about himself, a tall boy with long limbs calls out to Jaehyun that it’s his turn to join the next game of beer pong. Jaehyun looks reluctant to leave and you don’t want him to leave either, but you’d hate to hold him back from prior engagements.

“Would you,” Jaehyun licks his lips in consideration, “like to play with me? I don’t have a partner.”

You nod your head and readily agree, eager to spend more time with him.

You’ve only played beer pong a handful of times and being around Jaehyun makes you nervous, so you miss the first few shots. You feel embarrassed, but Jaehyun is patient and assures you that it’s no problem at all. His little words of encouragement mixed with the beer you drink helps melt your tension, and halfway through the game, you’re whooping and hollering with everyone watching the game.

You high-five Jaehyun without a second thought after nailing a perfect shot and Jaehyun smiles even wider. The two of you are leading when Taeyong comes in to kick everyone out.

“Sorry guys, party’s over.”

Groans of complaints could be heard throughout the crowd, but Taeyong’s words are firm and he ushers everyone to leave. He has a few other frat members behind him helping out. He reaches the beer pong table and pulls Jaehyun aside. After a few exchanged words, Jaehyun nods in agreement and ends the game completely, apologizing to his opponents.

You’re confused, so you carefully ask Jaehyun what’s going on. He sees you and his gaze softens, he quietly explains, “apparently, the campus police have received multiple noise complaints and since the fraternity already has a strike, Taeyong doesn’t really want to risk another. “

“Ah, I see.” You nod. You’re saddened by the turn of events, having finally eased into a relative comfort around Jaehyun and you yearn for more. “Well, I better go look for Yeri then.”

This is a goodbye and you’re unsure of what else to say to him, your disappointment mixes with alcohol making you feel even more miserable. You want to ask for more, but can’t find the words to reach him. Luckily, Jaehyun does it for you.

“Are you free sometime this week?” He asks. “I feel like we didn’t get a chance to really talk and I’d like to.”

Your heart hammers and the blood rushes in your ears, but you still find yourself uttering a mousy agreement.

“Great,” his smile is dazzling and you feel dizzy. “It’s a date then.”

5. 24 Hours by Sunmi

rushed minutes.

“Time goes by so quickly.”

“Hey,” a distant voice calls out and Jaehyun looks up from his phone to see your approaching figure. Your cheeks are rosy from the summer sun and stray pieces of your hair escape from your loosely styled updo. Jaehyun takes all of you in with careful appreciation.

“Hey yourself.” Jaehyun chuckles, slipping his phone casually in his pocket and standing up straighter to greet you properly.

Jaehyun sees the red of your face flush brighter, the soft color bleeding across your cheeks and onto your nose. Cute, he thinks. He watches as you tighten your grip on your clutch, knuckles white with nervous tension, in an attempt to gather your composure and calm your nerves. You clear your throat, “I didn’t know you’d be here so soon. You should’ve texted me.”

“It’s all good, I finished early.” Jaehyun notices you no longer stutter around him like the first night you two met. He’s glad the days and nights of sober texting after exchanging numbers at the party did wonders to make you feel comfortable around him. He’s not too worried about your current ‘first-date’ anxiety, knowing it’ll be dispelled soon enough. “Shall we?” He moves to open the door and the cool rush of air from the cafe greets the two of you.

The cafe is quaint and cozy, tucked away in a small corner of intersecting back streets and crowded buildings. Jaehyun discovered the little spot not too long ago and something, Jaehyun assumes his instincts, compelled him to take you to it for the first official date. It just felt right.

The two of you walk to the order counter and you take it all in. You can hear the quiet chatter of the cafe occupants mixed with the rattle of espresso machines being put to work. Your eyes scan over the decorations and several potted succulents hanging from the ceiling. It’s incredibly homey and you feel at ease.

“Hiya, I can help the two of you whenever you guys are ready.” The barista is cheerful to a fault and Jaehyun watches you shoot her a grateful smile before your eyes move to the menu to decide on what to get.

Jaehyun knows what he wants, so he waits patiently for you to decide, but seeing your eyebrows scrunch together in indecision, Jaehyun chuckles to himself. “I hear the iced lattes here are really good, particularly the caramel latte,” he offers.

You perk up in surprise, but you recover quickly, “okay, that sounds good then. I was between that and the iced cocoa.”

“No problem, I’ll order then. Today’s on me.” Jaehyun says.

Jaehyun walks up to the barista and quickly places the order. He reaches for his wallet after the barista recites the order, but he falters slightly when he sees your gaze glued to the cake display, particularly the crepe cake.

“Can I get a slice of the chocolate crepe cake over there too?”

“Of course! Here’s your new total,” she turns the touch screen display over to Jaehyun and he readily inserts his card to pay. When finished, Jaehyun turns back the screen and after a few taps from the barista, a receipt is printed and she hands him a buzzer.

“Your order will be out shortly.” She informs him.

Jaehyun smiles and says a small ‘thank you’ in return before turning his attention to you. You look up to meet his eyes and you smile, “can we sit over there by the window?”

You head to the little corner table first with Jaehyun steadily in tow. You sit at the chair that leaves your back to the window and Jaehyun is mesmerized by how the afternoon sunlight refracts through your silhouette. You’re glowing and Jaehyun swallows thickly.

“So,” he starts. “What have you been up to?”

“Celebrating finishing my first year of college in one piece.” You laugh lightly. “I got by with passable grades, but other than that Yeri and I just finished moving into our new dorms. We’re no longer freshmen, so first year dorms are off limits. I’m gonna miss the convenient location.” You jokingly mope.

Jaehyun laughs easily with you and before he gets a chance to reply, the buzzer goes off so he excuses himself to go pick up the order.

A different barista places down a tray with your two drinks and a small slice of cheesecake with two dessert forks resting on some napkins. “Enjoy your order!”

Jaehyun smiles in thanks and picks up the tray to bring it back to the table. He can’t wait to see the look on your face when you see the mille crepe cake and true to his expectations, your eyes light up at the sight of dessert.

“Surprise.” He says. “I saw you looking at it earlier.”

Jaehyun watches as you immediately grab a small fork and try a piece of the cake with unrestricted child-like excitement. Your eyes light up at the taste of the delicate layers of fresh whipped cream and thin crepes and the smile you shoot in his direction has Jaehyun’s heart beating a little faster than he’s willing to admit.

“Thank you!” You look up at him. “It’s so good, you should definitely try a bite too.”

“Yeah? I’ll try some then.” Jaehyun sits down and leans even closer to you over the table, his mouth open and expectant and his eyes staring straight into yours.

You try your best to bite back the scarlet fighting to stain your cheeks as you cinch off a small section of the cake with your fork. Your hand falters just the slightest bit when delivering the small confection to his awaiting mouth, but you push through and feed him despite the embarrassment you feel.

Jaehyun chews slowly and deliberately, taking his time to lick the stray whipped cream from the corner of his mouth. You lose the game of chicken, breaking eye contact first.

“Yeah,” he agrees. “It’s good. We should definitely come back.”

You let out a little awkward cough, desperate to ward off your cloud of emotions. “Uhm, yeah sure.”

Jaehyun has always thought you were cute, but he thinks you’re especially cute today.

“Anyway,” you start. You want to change the topic because you don’t think you can survive this tension without your brain frying. “I feel like I’ve just seen you around recently. I should’ve run into you a long time ago since the performing arts college is so small.”

“Oh,” Jaehyun is a little taken aback. “I used to be over at the East Campus. I was a business and administration major for two years before I switched over to musical theatre.”

“Wait really?” Your surprise erases any tension you felt earlier. “I had no idea.”

“Yeah,” he laughs. “It doesn’t really come up in conversation.”

“Why’d you switch over? If you don’t mind me asking.”

Jaehyun contemplates his reply for a second as takes a sip of his coffee. “Well, when I entered college, I didn’t really know what I wanted, so I just followed whatever my parents wanted me to do. I actually knew I liked musical theatre for the longest time, but it took time for me to build up the courage to switch. My parents weren’t happy with it at first and we fought for the longest time, but I think they’ve warmed up to it enough by now. I’ve never really talked about this though, I just tell people I transferred from a different college and the conversation just ends there I guess, but it’s really no big deal.”

“Thank you for telling me this, Jaehyun.” Your voice is sincere and Jaehyun believes you.

“What about you, hm?” Jaehyun returns. “Why CWP?”

“I don’t really have one point that changed my life and helped me find my calling or whatever,” you ponder with a tilt of the head and the taste of cream dissolving in your mouth. “But ever since I was little, I always knew I was gonna end up doing something in music. I was never good at singing though, so vocal performance was out the door and I wasn’t that interested in classical instruments either, so that helped me narrow stuff down. Actually, what really helped me decide was during orientation, my group leader was a contemporary writing and production major and she told me all about it and I’ve been sold ever since. I really like it though, and have no intention of switching.”

“That’s good. Sometimes I wish I switched earlier.” Jaehyun muses. “I feel so behind sometimes. Most people in my class have already been in at least one musical and an internship, except for me. I think about it a lot, but I try not to let it get me so down.”

“You shouldn’t feel that way!” You try your best to cheer him up, and Jaehyun appreciates it a lot more than he thought he would. “Everyone has their own pace, that’s what college is all about! Nothing is ever wasted time. You can think of your time as a business admin major as a way to help you make up your mind on your true passion. You told me you’ve always liked musical theatre, but I’ve bet without the time in business, you would’ve never known you liked it enough to pursue a career out of it.”

Jaehyun laughs at your earnesty. He thinks you’re a touch naive, but your words make him feel light. “You’re right. I can say for sure I wasn’t happy as a business major.”

“See? Nothing is ever wasted time if you can discover your true happiness out of it.”

The two of you exchange easy chatter after that and between small bites of cake and sips of coffee, Jaehyun thinks you’ve become prettier and prettier.

“What was it like?” You ask absentmindedly.

“Hm? What was ‘what’ like?”

“Being a business and administration major.”

Jaehyun has to think about it. He recalls constantly dressing up for group presentations and boring lectures, but his mind wanders to his activities outside the classroom. He remembers the constant partying and the blur of faces that helped him keep his bed warm. He remembers brief flings and relationships cut short. He doesn’t want to think about those things when he’s next to you. “Uhm. It was okay, nothing special, but that reminds me–”

“Yeah?”

“Are you free next weekend?”

“I should be. Why, what’s up?”

“Great,” Jaehyun smiles while taking the last sip of his coffee. “I’m having a housewarming party at my new apartment. You should definitely be there.”

The day of the long awaited housewarming party rolls up sooner than expected between settling into your new dorm with Yeri and the occasional small ‘get-togethers’ with Jaehyun. They’re actually dates if you're being honest, but you don’t want to put a title on anything in case he wasn’t on the same page as you. Being with Jaehyun made you giddy in more ways than one, but that means the anxiety that pools at the base of your stomach grows larger each day when the relationship between the two of you goes unnamed. You feel greedy when you desperately grasp at the shred of time you share with him, always unwillingly to let go.

“Are you ready?” Yeri’s voice breaks you out of your small reverie. Her hand is poised, ready to knock on the black door of Jaehyun’s apartment, waiting for you to gather your composure. Yeri is dressed to the nines in a cute skirt with a top to match. She wants to look good for her new boyfriend and you teased her endlessly for it when the two of you were getting ready.

“Mark’s one lucky guy.”

“Shut up. Worry about yourself.”

“All I do is love you, yet you’re so mean to me.”

Regardless of her harsh words toward you, she helped you toss your closet inside and out for the perfect outfit to woo Jaehyun, even if it meant showing up late to the party.

The two of you leave your dorm twenty minutes later than you intended and it also didn’t help that Jaehyun’s apartment was difficult to find, tucked away in a small building between towering skyscrapers, but now is finally the moment of truth.

“Yeah, I’m ready as I’ll ever be,” you mutter as you watch Yeri knock on the door.

It takes a minute before the door creaks open and Jaehyun’s head pops out. His smile is radiant and you’re absolutely ensnared by the way his fringe falls over his forehead.

“Hey, glad you two could make it.” Jaehyun opens the door wider to allow you and Yeri to enter. He greets Yeri with polite warmth while he wraps an arm over your shoulders. When Yeri heads in the apartment first with her back against the two of you, Jaehyun steals a quick peck to your temple and whispers, “you look pretty tonight.”

His touch is fleeting and he pulls back quickly, as if you imagined the whole thing, but his cheeky smile tells you that it really did happen. Your heart hammers and you force yourself to focus on the steady thrum of mellow R&B that reverberates throughout his apartment to calm yourself. You take his apartment in steady strides with your full attention. It’s sleek and modern with a few pops of his personality here and there in the form of trinkets decoration choices.

“Hey!” Johnny calls over from the couch. He has a beer in hand, but he’s far from tipsy. Flanked on one side is Doyoung with another beer to match and on the other is Sicheng. Seulgi, the girl, who you assume is Sicheng’s significant other, by the way his arm is casually wrapped around her waist, is also there and she nods at you in greeting. You've come to know about all of them after hanging out with Jaehyun so much. “Did you guys get lost or something?”

“Yeah,” Yeri replies as she moves to sit next to Mark who’s on the adjacent loveseat and resting a drink on the coffee table. “Something like that.”

She places a sweet kiss to the corner of Mark’s mouth in greeting and you swear you can hear him crooning at the attention.

“Doesn’t matter, Johnny. The important thing is that they’re here now.” Jaehyun interjects. “Do you guys want anything to drink?”

“That’d be nice.” You hum.

Yeri laughs in agreement, “yeah, the two of us could never say no to a drink.”

“Alright, I’m on it.” Jaehyun calls while moving to the kitchen. “Any preferences?”

“No,” you say. “Surprise us.”

Jaehyun works to mix drinks and you take a seat on the floor next to the coffee table to observe the party. Perched on the shelf of a slender bookcase in the corner of his living room is a bluetooth speaker playing music, the rhythm quiet and bass steady as everyone chatters away once introductions are made on the sofas. You remember him offhandedly mentioning that he doesn’t want any noise complaints on his first week in the new place and it makes sense. Jaehyun’s housewarming party is a quiet affair that is far different from the wild party at the frat house in which you met him, but you think this vibe fits Jaehyun more.

Jaehyun returns shortly with two drinks in tow for you and Yeri and sits himself snugly next to you on the floor. He picks his idle beer from the coffee table and once Johnny realizes that everyone in the proximity has a drink in hand, he raises his voice and beer in a toast. “It sucks that Taeyong couldn’t make it tonight, but here’s to having fun without him. We’re gonna get twice as fucked up to make up for his absence, cheers!”

Everyone lets out a chuckle, but obliges to humor him anyway and joins to connect their drink to his in cheers.

You pull your cup back and take a big gulp of the drink. It’s sweet and carbonated, but the sting of alcohol at your throat leaves you wincing just the slightest bit.

A few pleasantries are exchanged here and there, but it’s only then does Doyoung pull out a deck of cards with a devilish glint in his eyes that deceive his looks.

“Ring of fire, anyone?”

After who knows how many rounds of ring of fire (and maybe a few other drinking games here and there) with too many drink refills for you to remember, you somehow find yourself splayed on the couch and leaning over Yeri’s shoulder in support. Seulgi is on the other side of you leaning on you for support, the same way you’re doing to Yeri, but you don’t mind it one bit. The three of you have grown surprisingly close with one another throughout the night.

Your mind is lucid enough to still be conscious and completely aware of where you are and what you’re doing, but the alcohol in your system eats away at the details in your memory.

You vaguely recall ridiculous punishments that involved Johnny twerking on the dining room table and Mark taking a shot of Jack Daniels mixed with ketchup, and you can’t help but snicker to yourself.

“I think we should get going now.” Sicheng is the first to speak as he moves to help Seulgi up. “It’s getting late.”

Doyoung looks a little groggy, but when he checks the time, he perks up immediately, “oh shit, you’re right. I need to get going too, I’ve got something in the morning.”

With that everyone shuffles to clean the remnants of the party with as much grace as they can muster while intoxicated, which wasn’t much, but in twenty minutes, Jaehyun is already walking half the party to the door in goodbye. Only you, Mark, and Yeri are left.

“Hey Yeri,” Mark calls softly to Yeri as he brushes a strand of hair from her face. “Are you ready to go too?”

Yeri is still sprawled on the couch with you, but mumbles a small response. “Yeah, I should be. Give me a second.”

She turns over to you and nudges you just the slightest bit. “I’m gonna go back to Mark’s tonight, are you gonna be okay?”

“Yeah,” you assure her. “I’ll be fine, just go have fun.”

“She’s free to rest here until she’s ready to leave, don’t worry. I’ll call a cab for her when the time comes.” Jaehyun pipes up.

Yeri gives you a look, but you squeeze her hand one last time to give her some peace of mind. “I’m a big girl, Yeri. I’ll be okay, promise. I’ll walk you to the door, Mark’s waiting.”

You give Yeri a tight hug in goodbye and you find your way back to the couch. The fact that you’re all alone in Jaehyun’s apartment doesn’t hit because of the remnants of alcohol in your system melts away your nerves.

You’re pleasantly buzzed, lost in your own thoughts when Jaehyun comes up to you with a glass of water in hand. “Here, so you don’t feel as bad tomorrow morning.”

You accept it gratefully and take in big gulps, the water refreshing, but your skin feels hot.

Jaehyun takes a seat next to you and the proximity makes your head spin. You turn to look at him, and he flashes you a smile.

“Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?”

“You might’ve mentioned something.” You tease. “But I don’t mind hearing it again.”

“Well,” he hums. You’re not sure, but you think the distance between the two of you is decreasing. “You really do look stunning tonight.”

You flush at his words, but you look straight into his eyes. “You don’t look too bad yourself.”

“Yeah? I try to impress.” Jaehyun’s eyes are hooded and your throat goes dry. “Can I kiss you?”

You say nothing at first, his words not registering into your muddled brain, but when you feel his breath ghost over your lips, you don’t hesitate to close the gap between you.

His lips are slightly chapped and you can taste the vodka on his breath, but to you it’s perfect. Jaehyun’s perfect.

Jaehyun kisses you with reserved passion and practiced expertise. His tongue sets the rhythm against yours and his roaming hands have you feeling as if you’ve been set ablaze. He pulls back just the tiniest bit and the intense longing for his touch that hits you is indescribable.

You pull him back in your arms and your lips reconnect in a desperate fervor. Jaehyun adjusts his arms around you and the next you know, you’re in his embrace and he’s carrying you to his bedroom. He places you down gently, his bed is plush and comforter soft.

Jaehyun’s touch is gentle as he gathers your face in his hands. He kisses you again and you wrap your arm around his neck to pull him closer. He pulls back and looks at you earnestly. “I don’t want to do anything you’re not comfortable with. We don’t have to do anything tonight.”

Everything’s moving so fast and you’re dizzy, but you don’t want whatever this is to stop. You want to be as close to Jaehyun as possible.

“No,” your voice is hoarse. “Don’t stop. I want you, Jaehyun.”

He kisses you again, this time unrestrained. His tongue is hot, but you can only savor it for a minute before he starts trailing kisses down your neck and tugging at your shirt. You let out a breathy moan in response to how his touches make you feel.

Jaehyun reaches at your shorts and makes quick work at unbuttoning them. You help him remove the article of clothing and his slender fingers dart inside your panties. You’re slick to the touch and Jaehyun must be made of magic because you think you’re seeing stars. You unravel before him embarrassingly quick, but he kisses you at the base of your clavicle in sweet reassurance.

Your chest is heaving, but you want more. You grab at Jaehyun’s shirt, urging him to take it off. The expanse of his abdomen is a sight to behold, but Jaehyun is cruel and doesn’t give you the time to take it in. He’s on top of you again, lips crashing onto yours once more. He reaches behind you to unclasp your bra and while he’s pre-occupied, you unbuckle his belt and steal a moment in his boxers. He feels thick and hot in your hands as you run your finger over the tip to feel a drop of pre-cum. He buckles just the slightest bit and it emboldens you.

Jaehyun helps himself out of his jeans and you push him onto the bed wanting to be on top this time. He’s straining against his boxers and you want to help relieve the tension. When you pull off his boxers you can feel his inaudible groan. You stroke his length gingerly and look up to see him with hooded eyes look right back at you.

This excites you so you take him in your mouth in a moment of unfiltered courage. Your tongue starts at the base before tracing your way up to his sensitive head. You tease him accordingly to his quiet grunts and groans and when you feel like he’s had enough, you take all of him in until his tip is hitting the back of your throat. You gag a bit, but push through.

“Fuck,” Jaehyun stutters out between stacatoed breaths. “Babe, you’re so good.”

You hum in pleasure at his praise and he grabs your hair. This goes on for a few more minutes before he reaches down to stop you. “Not that I don’t love this,” the look in your eyes nearly has him faltering his words, “but I don’t want to cum just yet.”

You relent with a slick pop and Jaehyun shifts over to rummage for a condom in his nightstand. You settle back down in his pillows. Jaehyun gives you a soft kiss on the lips before he enters you.

“Tell me when it’s okay to move,” he whispers and you place a small kiss at the base of his neck.

He starts off slow to let you acclimate to his size, but neither of you are very patient, so he ends up pounding into you a lot sooner than he anticipated and you find yourself getting caught up in the pleasure.

It feels like you’re dreaming, but if this was a dream, you never want to wake up.

6. Hush by Miss A

shh, no talking, just us.

“I can’t think straight.”

You and Jaehyun don’t become official until a few weeks later.

He asks you one day when you’re naked and out of breath. You’ve gone one too many rounds with him and a thin layer of sweat coats your body as you lay on his heaving chest. You absentmindedly draw shapes on his skin and he gives you a chaste kiss to your temple.

“We should date.” He hums. “I think I’d make a good boyfriend.”

“Yeah?” You raise your eyebrow in teasing.

“Yeah,” he ascertains. “Give me a chance and I’ll show you.”

“Hmm,” you pretend to think it over as if this wasn’t you’ve been hoping for since the first moment you laid eyes on him. “Okay. Let’s give it a try, boyfriend.”

Jaehyun laughs and you feel the world fall into its right place. “Alright, girlfriend.”

And the rest is history as they say.

Jaehyun isn’t your first, but you experience many firsts with him. You’re not exactly inexperienced, but he really opens your eyes.

“Fuck,” he groans into your neck. His hands grip at your hips to help guide you along, but you’re fully in charge. “You’re doing so good, babe. Just like that.”

You didn’t see yourself as someone who liked to take charge during sex, but after that one time Jaehyun asked you to top, you’ve never looked back since.

You roll hips into him and at a pace you know drives Jaehyun wild and you pull him into a sloppy kiss. It’s all tongue and no grace, but you love it the same regardless. You capture his bottom lips between your teeth playfully before pushing him flat on his back until he’s firm against his plush mattress. You place a hand on his chest and the other on his thigh to balance yourself and Jaehyun immediately knows you’re close.

A hand rests on your hip to steady you while the other snakes over to play with your clit to further stimulate you toward your climax. Jaehyun knows what you like and his timing is impeccable, so before you know it, both of you are reaching your highs together. You collapse on his chest and you allow yourself to stay in his warmth long enough to have your breaths synchronize before you extricate yourself from him to head to his bathroom.

When you come back out, he’s disposed of the used condom and opens your arm wide for a hug, which you gladly indulge in.

Time stops when you’re in his arms.

On the surface, it looks like Jaehyun likes to mix it up. He seems like an elusive guy with varied tastes, but the more time you spend with him, you realize he likes the control of seeing you unravel before him.

He likes the intimacy of missionary.

The close proximity to your body has him looking into your eyes and leaving you feeling the most vulnerable of ways. He has full access to your neck, which he lovingly claims as his own and you chide him the next day when you see scattered purple blooms. Jaehyun changes his pace on a whim and you fall to his mercy. When he takes you fast and hard, you see stars, but when thrusts in you with languid leisure, he has you begging for more.

He likes the intensity of taking from behind.

When you’re on your knees with your ass in the air, he takes it as a guarantee to fuck you senseless. Your muffled moans makes his dick twitch and you swear you can feel him fuck into you even faster. Jaehyun always makes sure to wrap his arms around you to finger your clit until you go into sensory overload and he doesn’t stop pounding into you until there are tears in your eyes. He kisses each one away before taking your lips in his and you can taste the salt water on his tongue.

He likes the dominance from eating you out.

He laps at your core like a starved man and makes good use of his adept fingers until your head is spinning. Jaehyun makes it a habit to eat you out until you’re satisfied before he gets his turn. When your thighs are on either side of his head and your hands tangled in his hair, he swears he can stay there forever.

Above all, Jaehyun just likes you. He likes being with you and he definitely likes fucking you and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Mmmh,” you breathe out.

Your back is flush against Jaehyun’s back as you rock your hips back and forth on his dick. You grind your ass back even harder when he pinches your nipple between his fingers.

He kisses your shoulder blade from behind and bucks his hip upward to meet you in the middle.

The afternoon sunlight is streaming in from the gaps of his blinds and you want to take it nice and slow today. The television in front of you is playing a movie, but you’re too enraptured by the feeling of him filling you to the brim to pay it any mind.

“I love it when you’re on top, babe.” he hums as he plays with your clit.

You let out another breathy groan before you can find the composure to bite back at him. “What happened to no sex today, hmm? I thought we were just going to have innocent quality time together and watch a movie.”

Jaehyun must’ve not liked your sass, so he bucks up harder. He’s telling you to pick up the pace and you oblige. Before you know, you’re practically bouncing on his dick and you can feel your impending high about to crash down on you. He can sense it too and maintains his tempo. When you cum, Jaehyun rides on the tail of your climax in pursuit of his own. He cums shortly after with stuttering hips and a bite on your shoulder. He gathers you in his arms and runs his tongue soothingly over where he bit you and the various love bites that he’s littered on the expanse of your skin.

“Just being with you is quality time in itself.” He says. “Besides, class is starting soon, so I won’t get to see you as much.”

7. Disturbance by BoA

a ripple on the surface.

“I didn’t know at first.”

“So I do have a roommate after all,” Yeri’s voice calls out and you turn over to see her standing by the doorway. You roll your eyes at her, but quickly turn back to gather your things.

She lets out a chuckle, but you don’t miss the sour edge to her tone. “I thought I got a single dorm since it’s so empty all the time.”

“You say that, Yeri,” you retort. “But I know you’re over at Mark’s constantly so I don’t wanna hear it from you.”

“Yeah, but I make time to come back here and I always let you know when I’m going out. I feel like I’ve only seen you maybe once or twice the past few months. I feel like the only reason I see you these days is ‘cause of classes.”

“You’re just exaggerating, don’t be so dramatic. Come on, let’s go. I don’t want to be late.”

She looks displeased, but nothing leaves her lips as the two of you head out for the day.

It’s late.

When night falls, shadows come out to play and your college campus is riddled with them. The school auditorium is situated in the far corner of the campus and the lamp lights of the main walkways do little, but you pay it little mind. Jaehyun should be getting out soon.

It takes another ten minutes to see him emerge from the double doors and you perk up immediately at the sight of him. He looks a little shocked to see you, but greets you with a warm hug and small peck regardless.

“Hey,” his voice is small, almost reserved. “What are you doing here? I thought I told you I was finishing late tonight.”

“Oh, you did, but I still wanted to see you.” You explain, eyes bright and tone undeterred.

“Not that I don’t appreciate it,” he licks his lip. “But it’s really late and I still have more stuff I need to work on. I’ll see you some other time, okay?”

“Oh, okay.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry, babe. Next time.”

“Oh hey,” you smile, but Yeri’s fury is palpable and cuts through you.

“Don’t ‘oh hey’ me.” She spits out. “Where have you been? Why didn’t you answer your phone?”

Sheepish, you reply, “oh sorry. I forgot to fully charge it before leaving and Jaehyun and I have different phones, so I couldn’t charge it at his place.”

“You were at Jaehyun’s?” Yeri is glaring at you at this point and you feel a bit peeved.

“Yeah. What of it?”

Yeri’s been getting angry at you recently, losing her temper at the drop of a hat, and you can’t seem to pinpoint why. You’re getting tired of being her punching bag.

“We made plans to go shop for Seulgi’s gift today. You promised you’d be there, don’t you remember?”

“Oh shit.” It completely slips from your mind and you open your mouth to apologize, but Yeri cuts you off before you get the chance.

“Forget it. I don’t want to hear it. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

Yeri turns to leave before you can say anything back.

8. Symptoms by SHINee

something’s wrong.

“The worse it gets, the more exhausted I get.”

Jaehyun feels off.

He can’t pinpoint exactly what he is that he’s feeling, but he thinks it’s reminiscent of his world being tilted by six degrees. It’s not immediately jarring and takes little time for his eyes to register, but he’ll occasionally bump his toe, signalling that this isn’t right. Things aren’t where they’re supposed to be. His head spins just the slightest bit and he feels woozy, but he doesn’t know why.

Jaehyun just feels off.

Jaehyun checks the bulletin board of his school auditorium almost religiously.

Each time before and after class, he’ll swing by and peruse the flyers that hang from haphazardly stuck on pins. He ignores the tutoring offers and the part time jobs scams, his main focus is almost always on the center of the board where they post the upcoming musical theatre production and eventually, the cast list.

This semester, the chosen production is La La Land and Jaehyun has been dead set on landing the role of Sebastian Wilder. He stays back extra late each day to practice the script and to work on his singing and annunciation.

On the day of the audition, he’s sure he’s nailed it and thinks to himself the world must be ending if he weren’t to get the leading role.

When he leaves the auditorium in a rush, excitement flows through his veins and he drinks in the night air as a toast of victory. He’s tipsy on his excitement and wants to laugh out loud, but in the corner of his vision, he sees you. Your eyes light up the sight up, outshining the moon and the stars, but your visage does not elicit the reaction he thinks it should. He expects his heart to swell and burst, but somehow he feels heavy.

He pulls you in for a hug and a quick kiss to quell his weighted heart, but he thinks he’s starting to sink so he calls you off for the night. He’ll see you next time.

Yeah, next time will be better.

You’re snuggled up close and personal on Jaehyun’s chest. Jaehyun notices you fill every nook and cranny of his being perfectly to a tee, and yet that feeling. It’s there again.

Jaehyun feels off.

You laugh at something one of the characters say and you cuddle harder into him. He feels heavy again and it makes his throat itch, so he swoops down and captures your lips.

It’s hard and fast to scrub away at his uneasiness and before he knows it, his clothes are missing, but so are yours. The foreplay is brief and almost impersonal, but he doesn’t care. He just needs to be inside you.

When Jaehyun has you begging and writhing, he feels like the world is where it should be. No longer is he living at a slight angle when he’s buried to the hilt inside your warmth, so when he sees you, he does what he can to get you out of your pants.

Today is no different from any other.

After a satisfying session you roll on his chest. Your kiss is soft and sweet despite the sweat that covers both of your bodies. He hums quietly as he taps melodies on along your exposed spine.

“Jaehyun?”

“Yeah?”

“I think I love you.”

Ah. Jaehyun thinks he’s getting it now, why he’s feeling off.

Jaehyun thinks he’s being suffocated.

To the surprise of no one, and especially not to him, Jaehyun gets the leading role of Sebastian Wilder in La La Land. He was a shoe-in for it anyway and he made sure to put in the work to get it.

His leading lady is someone by the name of Park Sooyoung, but at the first rehearsal she introduces herself as Joy.

“It’s nice to meet you.” She offers her hand out in a friendly greeting. “Here’s to a successful show together, Jaehyun.”

Her smile is blinding and he thinks Joy is a fitting name. He grasps her outstretched hand, grip firm and sure.

“Yeah,” he smiles back. “Here’s to a good show together.”

Rehearsals span over blurred minutes and long hours.

Jaehyun sees less and less of you and spends more and more time with her.

During a quick water break, he scans his phone briefly to see a text notification from you. He takes another swig of water and returns to the rehearsal.

It’s okay, he can always text you back later.

9. Before U Go - TVXQ!

letting go.

“I will leave now.”

“Come on!” You tug both Mark and Yeri along excitedly. “I want to get good seats.”

Yeri rolls her eyes, but obliges anyway, pulling Mark along. It’s opening night for Jaehyun’s big musical and you wanted to be there no matter what to support him. Johnny, Doyoung, Taeyong, Sicheng, and Seulgi are already inside waiting and you’re not sure if they were able to save the three of you a spot.

After a long chat with Yeri, you apologized profusely to her. You did get blinded by your relationship with him and prioritized him over everything, forgetting your friends and other responsibilities in the process. Yeri forgave you easily and helped keep you in line when you went to head over heels for Jaehyun.

However, after patching things up with Yeri, you begin to notice a shift in your relationship with Jaehyun’s. You’re not quite sure how to describe it, but it almost feels like a distance almost.

You chalk it up to his busy rehearsal schedule and choose not to dwell on the topic, in fears of your wandering imagination. It should be fine. After his musical is over, he’ll be less busy and things will fall back into place.

Right?

“Over here!” Seulgi waves over excitedly.

The auditorium is starting to fill up and you want to get comfortable before the show starts.

Everyone greets each other in hushed tones and soon enough, the show starts.

Right. Everything will be fine.

Jaehyun does amazing.

Your eyes are trained on him the whole time and his singing has goosebumps pricking your skin. You can see the passion pour through him every time he’s on stage and you couldn’t be more proud.

A nagging feeling at the pit of your stomach points out the undeniable chemistry between him and his co-star, but you push it deep down and suppress it.

They’re actors, and they’re good at what they do.

Yeah. They’re just acting. Yeah. Acting.

When the curtains close, you’re the first to shoot out of your seat, eager to meet him backstage. You weave through the endless crowd of people, murmuring your ‘sorry’s’ and ‘excuse me’s’ as you pass by. You reach the base of the backstage and shoot a message to let him know you’re waiting. You hum to yourself when you happen to overhear a conversation playing out.

“You did so good, Jae.”

“No, you definitely carried the show.”

You turn up and you see them. Her eyes are almost soft and loving as she pulls your boyfriend in for a hug. They linger in the embrace longer than necessary and you clear your throat to catch his attention.

He jolts just the slightest bit when he sees you and immediately lets her go.

“Everyone’s waiting,” you say quietly.

“Okay,” he nods. “Let me go get my stuff in the back.”

Jaehyun leaves the two of you alone and you wait for him to get back.

When you leave, he waves goodbye to her and she smiles back.

Jaehyun’s celebration party is rowdy, but it’s to be expected when Johnny is the one hosting.

He books a table at the local club and even orders bottle service. The eight of you work your way through two whole bottles of tequila and are already on your third. Jaehyun is downing the shots at a quicker pace than usual and you’re a bit concerned, but you’re unable to say anything because when you try, he whisks himself away to the dance floor and strikes up a conversation with someone else.

You’re perturbed, but you say nothing. This is his celebration night and he can choose to enjoy it how he wishes.

By the end of the night, Jaehyun is noticeably drunk and you haul him outside to get a breath of fresh air in hopes of sobering up. He’s heavy, but you make it out the side door. You prop him up on your side as you lean on the grimy brick walls.

Months have passed and the weather is chilly.

Jaehyun’s body sways and he murmurs something in your ear. You don’t catch it the first time, the overwhelming smell of tequila overtaking your senses.

“What was that?”

He grumbles beneath his breath, steps staggering once more. He tries again, this time his words are crisp and clear and they cut into you in more ways than one.

“I think we should end it.”

For someone so drunk, he sounds so sober.

You’re at a loss for words. A part of you knew this was coming from his lack of enthusiasm around you and his decreased texts. Even the cold night air couldn’t keep your heartbreak at bay. You say nothing, but you understand the both of you knew it was a silent agreement.

You breathe out wisps of chilled air as Jaehyun’s inebriated body stays slumped over on your side.

You volunteer to take Jaehyun home.

You tuck him gently in bed making sure to prop him on his side in case he vomits during the night. You pour a glass of water and place an ibuprofen on his nightstand drawer for him in the morning.

You kiss him on the forehead one last time. You hope it conveys all of the things brewing in your heart at the moment, but you know it doesn’t.

Later, you leave his apartment with all of your belongings that you ever left there with the stars as your witness.

You never return to his place again.

10. Coffee Shop by B.A.P

what could’ve been.

“So without knowing, like a habit, I came here.”

Jaehyun wakes up to an empty bed.

Morning sunlight streams through his blinds and burns at his skin as a sign to get ready for the day. He blinks the drowsiness from his system and stretches his weary joints before heading to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

On his rare day offs, he allows his body to go on auto-pilot. He completely shuts his brain off and allows it to do whatever it chooses.

Today, it takes him back to the cafe.

His body knows where it’s going before it registers in his mind.

The barista manning the order counter is different, but the decorations are the same, still the same succulents hanging from the ceilings. He mulls over the menu and goes up to order.

“Can I get an iced caramel latte?” Jaehyun doesn’t have much of a sweet tooth, but he’s feeling nostalgic today.

“Of course! Here’s your total.”

He pays with a swipe of his card and the barista goes to work making his drink. He waits around by the counter and soon enough, his drink is ready. That particular table is empty, so he grabs a chair to sit. His first sip is overly saccharine, but he appreciates how the flavor mellows out by the end of it.

It’s been nearly a year since that night.

Jaehyun remembers waking up to a splitting headache and a dry mouth. He thought nothing of the prepared setup as he gulps the ibuprofen and the glass of water in one go. Nothing seemed amiss really until a few days later.

No one mentioned your name around him and he caught Seulgi giving him a look every now and then. Mark didn’t say much either, but Jaehyun felt him drifting away.

He thought he’d feel a lot more, but he didn’t. One day you were a part of his life and then the next day you weren’t. It really was that simple.

He kept in contact with Joy even after La La Land was over and maybe they were something more, but it didn’t last longer than a few weeks.

It didn’t feel right when he was with her. Again, something felt off, but a different kind of off.

Joy was the one to end things with him, but he didn’t mind too much.

He filled his days with study and practice and it wasn’t until he landed a job at his local theatre company that he realized.

It was you. It was always you and perhaps it still is you.

Maybe you were different. Maybe you were the one, but Jaehyun didn’t try.

He recalls feeling smothered. You were always there at the beginning, but he took that for granted.

There are a lot of things he regrets, but above all, he regrets not talking with you. He regrets not trying to work on it. He regrets being a coward and running away at the first signs of true emotions.

You weren’t perfect, but neither was he, but he should’ve stayed so the both of you could work it out together. Jaehyun always did take too long to find the courage to pursue what he wanted.

With a final sip, he finishes the drink and moves to throw it away. Then, he sees you. Here, in the flesh, in almost a year.

Your hair is longer, but your cheeks are still as rosy as ever. You walk up to order and Jaehyun thinks it’s a sign. He moves to greet you, but the doors open again and in walk Yeri and Seulgi. He watches you greet them warmly with wide open arms.

You always did give the best hugs.

Jaehyun watches the three of you chatter away and he feels acutely out of place in the little cafe. You look happy and he should move on.

He throws his finished cup in the trash can and moves to exit through the side door, but he moves too slowly.

“Jaehyun, is that you?” You call out. He looks into your steady gaze and almost feels shy.

“Yeah,” he’s quiet. “It’s been awhile.”

“It has,” you agree. “You look well.”

The smile you give him has him believing in second chances and maybe he’ll get it right this time.

Note: i am so sorry that the second part is a hot mess express smh… there were a lot of things i planned and intended that didn’t happen, but i’ll just take this as a learning experience and write and better story next time. thanks for taking the time to read this !! <3

masterlist.

#nctcreations #cznnet #neowritingsnet #jaehyun scenario #jaehyun fanfic #jaehyun smut #jaehyun angst #jaehyun fluff #nct scenario #nct fanfic #nct smut #nct angst #nct fluff

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witch-hazels-musings · 3 years

Note

Can I request how Lisa and Sucrose would react to there long time female friend confessing romantic feelings for them? and maybe like first date ideas?

i’ve always loved you

Warning -> SFW, fluff (kissing)

Character X FM Reader | Anthology

Includes: Sucrose, Lisa

Sucrose

She’s so shocked! She honestly wonders if she really understood you? What you just said to her cannot be accurate, right?

“Sucrose … I like you.” You state, your eyes moving from her and down to the thumb you’ve been clenching in your fist for a while now.

“ ...w-what? Oh, you mean l-like as a friend? Well, I am quite fond of you too.” She’s clearly flustered and since she either didn’t seem to get your first confession, or was playing it off as a joke, you try again.

“Not like that, I have feelings for you.” Reaching out to her arm you hope the connection will make the confession more clear. The color of her cheeks turn bright pink as she comes to realize what you meant, and the reaction that follows is so adorable you think you’ll die.

The bottle in her hands slips from her grasp as she exclaims and pulls her hands to cover her mouth. The crashing bottle splatters around your feet while she takes a second to register all of these things happening at once.

“Ah! I’m s-so sorry … let me g-get something to clean it up … with …” She turns around and grabs a nearby towel but you’ve already started on the mess by the time she returns. “N-no let me get that, it was m-my mess.” Her hand extends toward the glass but you capture her fingers before they can reach. Elegantly, you pull them to your lips and give them a quick peck before letting her take control of them again.

“It’s okay, I wouldn’t want you to get hurt.”

She’s so flustered, how is it that someone like you can like someone as unprepared for love as her - she just cannot understand

Her heart is pounding so hard in her chest, her mind is going a mile a minute and all she can think about how incredible you look in front of her

She wants to reach out and touch you, but her hand is still so hot from where you kissed

You finish cleaning up the rest of the glass before dumping it into the garbage bin. Looking down, Sucrose hasn’t moved from her crouched position and you hope your confession didn’t totally ruin the relationship you had with her.

“Listen, I know that was sudden. I just … I don’t know,” You rub the back of your arm and squeeze the skin there. “I have liked you for so long and I really wanted to tell you … anyway if you don’t feel the same or whatever you …” “NO!” She shoots up and catches you off-guard.

“Oh … okay…”

“Oh no, I mean … I’m sorry, I like you ... “ Clasping her fingers together and pressing them against to her legs, she avoids your gaze but bravely continues, “more than a f-friend. I like you, too.”

Archons, she’s so cute? You can’t hold back anymore and with emboldened confidence you lean forward and press your lips against her hot cheek. She practically explodes, a huge gust of wind erupts from her and knocks several more things off the counter, papers scatter, containers shift, and unconfined specimens are lost on the wind.

“Ah … I’m sorry.” She covers her face and you respond with giddy laughter.

“Cute.”

You love to watch her get excited and to know she likes you back? Well, you are just over the moon

Your first date idea is something you know she will enjoy. You want to make sure she is comfortable and so the first thing that comes to your mind is taking her on a little adventure - somewhere she can explore, someplace to study or conduct research - if she smiles that’s all that matters to you

“Look at this!! I’ve only ever seen this species in books. I wonder if the season and weather have an impact on it’s growth cycle.” She bent close to the plant, her fingers cupping ever so gently underneath it as not to disturb its existence. She was always so generous, be it people, animals, or plants she was the kindest person you had ever met.

“You look like you were meant to be here.” You express, taking up space at her side.

“Really? I just really love to unearth secrets. When I finally get the answer to a question that’s been on my mind, I feel exhilarated by the accomplishment. Perhaps, I should ... adjust my excitement?”

“I will never hold you back in your love for research, that’s why I choose this location for our date.”

“Ah! Yes, this is a d-date. You’re right, what should … what do we do on dates?”

“We are doing it right now.”

“Are we …?”

“Yes, are you having fun?” You asked, tracking her gaze with the movement of your head, your question light but important.

“Yes!”

“Then perfect, the date is going well.” Her face shifts hues and for the thousandth time today, the word cute runs through your mind.

Lisa

She already knows - she’s known for such a long time and is honestly impressed that you had the guts to finally tell her your true feelings

Lisa is wildly observant, she has to be in order to stop people from slipping one too many books into their bags without following the rules of the library. So, she’s clearly picked up the different ways you act between her and some of the other people you commonly interact with

She especially can spot the discrepancies between her, Kaeya, and Jean. When you talk to Kaeya, his flirtatious, forward jokes fall to the ground without any reaction - you might play back, if you’re feeling cheeky, but your face never shifts

When you talk to Jean and she leans in close to you, you act as if it’s anyone on the planet, a twig will make you react more than she does - but when you are around her? You become a stuttery, fidgety mess, and if she ever makes a more pointed joke - ;) - you practically shut down

You find her standing in front of row after row of books, her arm extended above her as she reaches to place a returned book back onto the shelf. She’s so elegant, and when she is in her element she’s the most stunning thing you’ve ever laid your eyes on. You didn’t know that someone could have such an impact on you.

“Lisa?” You call out to her, respectful of the rules of the library. She turns and already your heart is racing. “Do you have a second?”

“For you my dear, I have all the time in the world.” She holds the remaining books against her chest, and, even though she’s wearing her hat, you are still transfixed by the face that’s partially hidden.

“I wanted to tell you this for a long time … is it okay if we talk here or…?” She chuckles, placing the books on one of the tables and walking toward you. The smell of dark roses pressing against your nose as she enters your space.

“Here is perfect, cutie. What do you want to share with me, hmm?” She’s a bit taller than you so when you find yourself looking at her face it’s almost always drawn to her lips.

“I’m sure … well, no .. I mean I know that you’re … ah how do I …”

“Take your time.” She reaches for your hair and the closeness of her wrist to your face breaks you.

“I like you!” You practically shout, covering your mouth in your hands at the realization of your outburst. Slipping your head further behind your fingers you hide your embarrassment from her.

Instead of scolding you, or reminding you to be quiet, she laughs and the sound is so lovely it pulls you from your hiding place.

“I was wondering when you were finally going to tell me your little secret.”

“You mean, you knew?”

“Of course I knew, I’m very observant and I can’t keep my eyes off of something so adorable, now can I?” She laughs again, her fingers sliding along your jaw and toward your chin. There she lifts your head and moves in for the kill. Her lips connect with yours and it’s electric, you wonder if she somehow sent a shock of her vision through the contact. As she pulls away, her smile is so grand you close your eyes again.

She is honored to have your affection, and she will absolutely lord that over everyone - she has the most prized book in all the collection, if you let her explain her admiration for you - hopefully, you can handle her

Now that she has chosen you, you want to show her experiences that will always remind her that she made the best choice. You’ve taken her to libraries and bookstores that are hidden from most people's eyes. You’ve gone on adventures to explore ancient domains and ruins in search for historic knowledge, you even traveled to Liyue to meet the ever knowledgeable consultant of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. You were greeted with warm tea and unending information.

Now, you’ve brought her to the vast fields which surround Mondstadt, the two of you nestled under the stars each keeping the other warm. She feels so good resting against you, her back pressing firmly into your chest as she relaxes under the night sky. You can push your face into her hair and tighten your grip around her as you relish the notion that she is yours and you are hers.

She’s shared with you her knowledge of the stars, the things she’s read in books and how impactful they are. Lisa has pointed out all the constellations to you and you’re sure that no matter how many times she shares this information you’ll never tire of hearing her voice.

“Oh look, a shooting star. It’s customary to make a wish, so I’m told.” She presses further against you and practically squeezes out your words.

“I don’t know what I could possibly wish for other than you.” She turns and looks into your eyes and you kiss her passionately as if hers are the only lips you will ever taste again.

#genshin impact #genshin impact X reader #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact fiction #genshin impact musings #lisa #genshin impact lisa #genshin lisa #lisa x reader #sucrose #sucrose x reader #genshin sucrose #genshin impact sucrose

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arhvste · 4 years

Text

002 SAKUSA KIYOOMI X SHUT UP AND DRIVE SERIES

++ MSBY GARAGE

❝ get you where you wanna go, if you know what i mean, got a ride that’s smoother than a limousine ❞

dt — @omisluvr i hope you like this, i had a lot of fun writing about you and your husband <3

warnings — nsfw : oral [recieving]

“what the fuck were you even thinking when you said yes to him anyway?”

sakusa pinched the bridge of his nose as he stood in the doorway of his high rise apartment. you were looking up at him, eyes glossy and hair drenched. your skin soaked not just from the rain, but from the fresh, hot tears that had run down your face as your hands scrunched the hem of your soaking sweater, the material quickly growing uncomfortable to wear.

the outside hitter sighed before stepping out the way to let you in.

“stay there.” his deep voice rang through your ears as he left to grab you a fresh towel to use.

you stood there, glancing around the sleek apartment as the city lights from down below leaked softly through the windows emitting a soft glow around the room. moments later, you heard footsteps approach as your eyes flickered over to the hallway.

sakusa strode over to you, handsome features highlighted and sharpened under the dim lights. sticking his hand out, he dropped the plush white towel into your awaiting arms as a plastic bag. you looked up at him confused regarding the bag, but before you could ask, he cut straight in.

“strip.”

“excuse me?” you choked out as you stared at the man in disbelief.

“you’re excused.” he muttered bluntly as you wiped your face with the warm towel. “you’re all wet. strip here and go shower and then we’ll talk.” he finished as he turned to leave you standing, dripping wet on the doormat of the entrance.

sakusa walked down the hall towards the bathroom and began to run the hot water and ensure the vents were working for you. having him out of sight, you sniffled and began to peel the wet clothing off your body and toss it into the plastic bag you’d dropped onto the floor. after stripping bare, you wrapped the inviting towel around your cold body and padded towards the bathroom. sakusa had left the light on and had already heated the water for you to prevent any time wasted.

you dropped the plastic bag on top of the white wicker laundry basket and stepped into the wet room style shower. the cool tiles beneath your feet caused shivers to run through your body as you turned the tap on for hot water to flow out.

as a fresh wave of hot water flooded down you, so did a fresh set of hot tears. you did your best to hold back the sobs you’d been keeping in, but it was all too much now.

‘better get it out now before talking.’ you thought as you let the tears flow freely down your face.

luckily, sakusa kept an array of various shower products so you knew you wouldn't have to come out the shower smelling like a six foot plus man who’d had a shower at the gym. after knowing sakusa for so many years, you knew he was picky about his products and you were eternally grateful for his favoured and toned-down scent of ‘ocean waves’.

lathering the soap across every inch of your now warming skin, your sobs slowed down and your breathing less jagged. your chest still hurt, but whether that was your crying causing chest ache or your now-ex causing heart break, you didn’t care anymore. you saw the end of your already deteriorating relationship approaching from a mile away anyway. if anything, you were partially thankful it had come crashing down, ending the anticipation that kept you on edge everyday. you just didn’t think it would actually hurt.

rinsing the soap off and feeling a bit better, you stepped away from the shower head as the water came to a halt. grabbing the fresh towel sakusa had left waiting for you on the radiator, you dried yourself as much as you could before wrapping the towel tightly around your body and stepping out the steaming room.

wandering through the dim hallway, you peeped into sakusa’s room as he scrolled through his phone, slouched on the king sized bed adorned with a firm, but certainly luxury mattress.

you knocked gently as his eyes snapped up at you. his expression still agitated looked, but softening at the sight of you.

“i don't have any spare clothes.” you murmured quietly, stepping into his clean and immaculately kept room.

he hummed before getting off the bed and rummaging through his own drawers. you stood there glancing around all of his medals and trophies won from years of playing in highschool and now pro. you had been present when he had won multiple of these awards. you happened to be one of the lucky few allowed close to sakusa. yes, you had known each other from a young age, but sakusa was ruthless in the sense of cutting people off; you had been someone exempt from that treatment though.

after a few moments, sakusa grunted with a pair of sweats in his hand as he looked down at your damp form.

you were taken aback slightly because despite sakusa slowly becoming more comfortable with personal boundaries, particularly in the recent years, you still grew slightly shocked everytime he willingly loaned you something of his own.

“thanks.” you whispered as you took the dry clothes and headed over to his en suite bathroom.

locking the door behind you, you quickly threw the sweats on and inhaled the natural scent that had rubbed off onto the clothes. sakusa smelt expensive in your opinion. yes, it was his natural scent, but anyone could tell he was a man of serious selfcare just from the scent of his clothes alone.

satisfied with your dry attire, you hung the towel on the radiator before switching off the light and stepping back into sakusa’s bedroom.

the sweats were definitely too big for you, but he had done his best to find one of his older sets in hopes of them perhaps fitting you a little more and for the sake of his own comfort knowing you weren’t wearing any clothes he’d regularly wear and fear catching too many external germs onto. you smiled weakly at him upon catching eye contact as he sighed and patted beside him on the bed.

staying close friends with the germaphobe had definitely benefited you as you had only grown closer to the pro-volleyballer over the years, allowing the two of you to naturally grow physically closer too. there’s not a lot of people in the world sakusa would’ve allowed for them to shower, wear his clothes and especially not sit on his bed, but once again, you were exempt from that, you always were; and he knew why.

“so,” he began, cutting through the thick tension lingering. “what happened exactly.”

always so straight to the point. maybe running to sakusa immediately wasn't the best choice.

“he cheated.” you spoke dryly as sakusa’s frown grew deeper.

“explain.” he pressed as you felt your chest increasingly tighten.

“i showed up to his house and-” your eyes watered as tears began to spill out. opening your mouth to continue, you struggled as no noise came out. scrunching your eyes up in frustration, you sobbed once more but stopped as you felt a warm hand take in your own.

you looked up through blurred vision as sakusa had a firm, but sincere look on his face. tightening his grip slightly on your hand, you shakily breathed out before continuing.

“the door was unlocked, i went in and i saw.”

“saw what?”

“her. the girl he told me not to worry about. the one he promised me was nothing more than a friend.”

sakusa scoffed as you sighed warily, tears dripping down your chin.

“they were um- you know-”

“-having sex. yes, i get the idea.” sakusa quipped as your heart dropped.

“um, yeah. i just left and well, here i am.” you laughed bitterly, face wet once more and vision blurred.

“what a fucking loser.” sakusa spat out bitterly as you hung your head low.

“i don't even know why you said yes to him. what the hell does he even have going for him? tell me what exactly it is that he brings to the table, i’ve been dying to know.”

you looked up as sakusa’s hand held yours tightly.

sakusa looked almost as hurt as you did. you quickly put that idea to bed and assumed it was natural protectiveness. he was your best friend after all. you just didn’t know just how badly he had wanted more than that though.

“he was just- he was just there i guess. someone for me to date. maybe i was just lonely, i don’t know. i, fuck- i dont know omi! i dont fucking know anymore!” you sobbed as sakusa’s eyes softened.

“well. what are you gonna do now?” he spoke sharply, eyes fixated on you.

“nothing i guess. i’ll get over it, i knew it was bound to end anyway.”

“and running to me was your first option?”

“are you really that surprised? i just didn’t know who else to go to.”

sakusa sighed before standing up and urging you to stand up with him.

“where are we going?” you asked, begrudgingly standing up beside his toned form.

“to take you out. i’m not having you soak my sheets with tears caused by a loser.”

“but i’m not dressed for that!” “we’re staying in the car for the most part.” he confirmed, notioning for you to follow him back to the front door where his car keys were left.

you sighed but followed suit as sakusa grabbed one of his own sweaters to put on. looking back at you, sakusa noticed your down expression as his own heart tugged slightly. he could only hope you’d perk up by the time he’d taken you to where he intended. he almost felt bad. almost.

you huffed but followed sakusa out the apartment behind him and waited as he locked the door swiftly behind him. trailing sadly behind him towards the elevator, sakusa watched as your miserable state wallowed in sadness behind him.

waiting for you to get over the damage caused seemed pointless in his opinion. ever the efficient one, sakusa knew exactly how he wanted to go about getting you over your ex faster. he could only hope you’d cooperate with him.

the ride in the elevator with the occasional sniffle from you occupying the majority of the silence. at last, the elevator had reached below ground level and into the underground parking lot for residents to use.

you followed the man out the elevator and stayed close to him and the two of you headed over to sakusa’s reserved parking space. you heart picked up slightly upon locking your eyes onto sakusa’s car.

a matte black aston martin DB11 was parked perfectly into its designated space. the tinted windows showed you back your own reflection as you were met with the sight of your downcast face. brushing stray strands of hair out of your face, you sighed and waited for sakusa to unlock the car for you to get in.

to you, getting into the pro players car was no big deal, you were simply getting into a friends car for a casual outing. to anyone else, this would’ve been a huge deal though. nobody was allowed in sakusa kiyoomi’s car. he denied requests to drop off and pick up others and even teammates. the only exceptions from this rule were yourself and komori. nobody else.

sakusa unlocked the car and you clicked the door open on the passenger side. immediately, your nose was met with the heavy scent of air freshener and leather. the clean and polished interior never failed to impress you every time you rode with sakusa.

the outside hitter climbed into his own seat before shutting his door and waiting for you to shut your own. the leather of the seat cool under your sweats. shivers ran up your spin and the cold temperature car started up at the press of a button.

“strap in.” sakusa glanced over at you before fastening his own seatbelt and looking into the mirror to back the car up safely.

“hold still for a sec.” sakusa muttered as you felt his hand land on your shoulder as he looked back. his body close to yours, sakusa swiftly swung the car out his space as your breath hitched. why the hell did he have to get so close?

“you could’ve held the back of my seat.” you looked over at him as he revved the engine ready to speed out the exit.

“yeah you’re right, i could’ve. i just didn’t want to.” and with that, sakusa hit the acceleration and the car sped out the clear exit at high speed.

your head was thrown back and your heart fluttered at his words but you kept quiet as you tried to calm your nerves. sakusa however, looked like he was out to kill. you were just thankful the roads were clear in the late night.

his jaw tense and eyes sharp, sakusa made no mistakes as he swerved in and out of lanes so cleanly, leaving other drivers with no reason to complain.

“where are we even going?” you spoke up meekly as the man beside you pulled up at a red light. clicking his tongue in annoyance of the hold up, sakusa tilted his head to face you, his wavy mop of hair flopping back as his salient eyes met your own, throwing your heart off course.

“you’ll see.” was all he said as the light flashed amber. head snapping back to the front, sakusa revved his engine once more, hands both tightly gripped the finely stitched leather of the wheel. prominent veins running down the back of his hand, sakusa flexed his fingers before gripping the wheel once more and slamming back down on the accelerator throwing your head back into the headrest for the second time of the night.

if looks could kill, you were certain any driver in your best friends field of vision would’ve been dead at least two times over. you had no idea why he was so angry, but you’d be lying if you said you didn't find him at least slightly attractive. you just couldn't bring yourself to fully admit it though. you were fresh out of an awful break up and the heartache was still there even if sakusa was capable of effortlessly throwing you into a fit of excitement.

you gazed out the window as the car sped along the highway as pulled off the main roads and into the more separated streets. you paid no attention to where it was you were going until a wave of familiarity washed over you. your stomach tightened and your eyes flashed in fear as you quickly turned to see sakusa as focused as before, pulling into a parking space resided along the street of houses next to it.

“what the fuck kiyoomi! why are we here”

“where else would i take you?”

“oh i don't know, 7-11 maybe?!” you huffed as sakusa scrunched his face in disgust.

“that’s not going to help you get over him. this will.”

sakusa nodded towards the houses outside. more specifically, your ex's house.

“i can’t do this, i don’t need this.”

“you can and you want to don’t you?

you stared at him in disbelief as you shook your head.

“not like this, not now.”

“look at me.” sakusa demanded as his hand reached up to cup the side of your face, pulling your gaze directly onto his face.

“he’s a fucking loser. you’ve cried over him enough already and i just can’t sympathise with you anymore, show him that he fucked up.”

you opened your mouth to speak but no words came out. once again, shaking your head, you pulled away from sakusa’s grip as he stared at you confused.

“how? how can i just confront him in this state? you don't understand omi! it still hurts, and i can’t just-”

“-it hurt me too. this whole time it hurt.” sakusa cut in swiftly.

“ever since you said yes to him, i couldn’t understand why it hurt until recently. maybe i should’ve been happy for you. i just couldn’t though. i don’t like him, i never did and you know what? he didn’t deserve you, but i think i do.” he confessed, expression sincere and voice clear and sharp.

“kiyoomi i-”

“-don’t answer me now. it’s not fair of me to just throw something like that at you, i’m sorry but i’m also really not. i’ve been waiting to say this. just please, don’t let yourself fall off over someone like him okay?” he turned away, one hand still firmly gripping the wheel as his other hand reached to start the engine again to drive you both back. your hand intercepted though, stopping him from starting the ignition.

“you’re right, i’m sorry. i promise i won’t so, let me prove it to you.” sakusa turned to face you and raised an eyebrow at your sudden change of attitude.

“i don’t want to cry anymore. not over him, not when i knew it was approaching sooner or later.” you admitted looking up at him. eyes glinting under the dim lights the streetlights provided through the tinted windows.

“then don’t let him make you cry anymore.” sakusa breathed out, voice taking on a soft tone.

“i’m relying on you to keep me in check then.” you whispered slowly leaning into him and letting him meet you halfway.

“well, don’t you worry your pretty little head about that.” his final words muttered out as his slender fingers ran under your jawline as he tilted his head up to meet his own. eyes fluttering shut, sakusa mentally thanked whoever the fuck was looking out for him, because he’d been waiting for this moment for longer than he’d ever care to admit.

pressing his lips onto your own, sakusa’s heart ran laps as you gasped at the feeling his hands gripping your jaw tighter. humming in satisfaction, he deepened the quickly escalating kiss as he pulled you closer and closer to him. god, he just couldn't have you close enough to him.

sliding his hand down to your thighs, sakusa felt the way you had them tightly pressed together as the slow and languid kiss quickly heated with each whine he drew from your lips. growing greedy to hear more, sakusa dominated the kiss completely, teeth scraping along your bottom lip ever so gently, drawing a sharp gasp from your throat. with your lips slightly parted, sakusa slipped his tongue into your mouth groaning at your responsiveness to his actions.

pulling away, he left you gasping but gave you no time to catch your breath as his lips strayed from your own and you felt his hot breath teasing the warm skin of your neck. not wasting another moment, sakusa let his canines dance along your sensitive skin, teasing you and leaving you unaware of his every next move. finally, letting his teeth drag along your collarbone for so long, sakusa kissed, sucked and bit everywhere he had access too. he needed to mark you as his. it would give him enough mental confirmation that you were finally his and you seemed to have no obligation to this in the slightest.

“omi, i can’t-” you whined, frustration building up as the clothes you were wearing now became more and more of a bother.

“i got you princex.” sakusa grunted, shifting his body away ever so slightly.

“please!” you groaned, glaring at the now smirking man.

“whatever happened to ‘i can’t do this’?” he mocked relishing in the control he had over you.

“i didn’t think you meant this!” you whined as sakusa pulled himself off of you momentarily. looking down at your hot and bothered state he felt a wave of pride hit. he did that to you.

“backseat.” he demanded notioning behind him.

“what?” you breathed out.

“you heard. backseat.” you grumbled but obliged regardless, climbing into the backseats of the luxury car. sakusa followed suit and hovered over your aching body as you rested your head against the doors tinted window, waiting for sakusa to do something, anything.

“so obedient.” he sighed trailing his fingers along the waistband of the already loose sweats, hands slowly slipping under the material, tugging them off painfully slow, much to your impatience.

your breathing stuttered as the man pressed a soft trail of kisses along your now exposed thighs, the temperature of the car only increasing as the air got thicker and thicker.

“please.” you whispered as his kisses met the ache between your legs.

eyes lustfully looking up at you, sakusa smiled against the skin of your inner thigh, breath hitting dangerously close to where you needed his attention the most.

“since you asked so nicely.” he praised, fingers hooking under the thin waistband of your soaked through panties. pulling them down, his eyes flickered up to meet your own. a look of sincerity glinted in his eyes as you nodded at him, permitting him to grant what you both wanted, what you both needed. you wanted this as much as he did and he’d be a fool to pass up an opportunity like this. the opportunity to show you what you could’ve had from the start, none of that mattered now though. you could his now, he’d make up for all the time lost, starting with now.

gasping at the sudden feeling of his tongue dipping into your slit, sakusa’s confidence only built up knowing you were comfortable with this. the warmth of his tongue causing you squeeze your eyes shut as shivers ran up and down your spine. fully trusting himself now, sakusa worked his mouth on your clit, hungrily chasing the desperate pleads ands gasps he’d quickly grown attached to. he needed to draw more of these out of you and he’d do just that.

toying with your clit with his tongue, sakusa groaned at the feeling of your hands quickly grabbing the base of his hair, tugging him closer and closer in desperate attempts to get him to go deeper. he made it his aim to get you just as hooked onto the feeling of intimacy as he was and you seemed to be following suit perfectly.

“k-kiyoomi!” you gasped, tugging harder at the dark strands tightly gripped between your fingers. his eyes flashed up at you, an almost unreadable expression shown as he pulled away momentarily. “you’re so beautiful you know,” he sighed before moving his mouth back down to your twitching core “so fucking beautiful.” he praised as he glanced up to memorize each pleasured expression that twisted across your face. he felt so proud knowing he was the one doing this to you, only he could make your eyes roll back the way he did, only he could draw out those pretty sounds that escaped your lips. he knew he was the only one capable because he knew he was always the better choice for you, he was better than your ex in every single way and he was just relieved he was finally getting the chance to prove it to yourself.

completely encasing your core between his lips once more, he swallowed everything you gave him so selfishly, refusing to let anything go to waste and spill onto the seats, it’s not like he could let anything go to waste anyway, not when you tasted this fucking good and certainly not when you were in his clean car.

“o-omi, more!” you chanted as sakusa grunted as you felt the knot inside of you progressively tighten. firm fingers gripping your hips, sakusa curled his tongue inside of you making sure to lap up everything he got out of you. you whined and chanted sakusa’s name like a mantra as he continued to worship your body with his mouth.

“please, please, please!” you recited desperately over and over again as you felt yourself closer to the edge.

“so good for me.” sakusa praised pulling away and loosening his grip on you, your arousal coating his chin. keeping one hand firmly gripped onto your waist, he moved his other hand down for his fingers to pinch and toy with the bud as his tongue quickly dipped back into your tight pussy as you felt your high quickly chase up on you.

“f-fuck!” you cried out as you felt your back arch as the ecstasy crashed down on you. his actions didn’t stop though, as his thumb continued to circle your clit with slow but firm movements only further forcing your mind to go blank. mindless babbles dribbled out your mouth as you slowly came down from your peak, sakusa continued to let every drop of arousal spill into his mouth before he pulled away panting.

face flushed, but satisfied, he caught his own breath and waited for you to fully come back to your senses. your own breathing once again jagged, you looked up at him shyly as you leaned forward to rest your head against his.

“s-shit, i didn’t think it would go this far.” sakusa admitted, grabbing a tissue from the side compartment to wipe his face. a look of disgust flashed momentarily on his face when he saw the mess on the tissue, but silently praising himself for keeping his car free from any spills onto the plush leather seats.

you laughed breathily before fluttering your eyes shut.

“i knew coming to see you was a good idea.”

“you didn’t know this was going to happen, fuck, i didn’t even know this was going to happen. i only brought you here to confront him.” the dark haired male sighed before pulling away from you.

the two of you stayed like that for a few moments, a comfortable silence lingering in the compressed air of the car. you hadn’t verbally confirmed it yet, but sakusa knew from this moment onwards you were finally his. a blissful feeling bubbled up inside of him as he processed what had just happened.

suddenly, a loud tap on the window caused the two of you to jolt in shock as you instinctively gripped the hem of the disregarded sweats in attempts to cover your exposed body. leaning over to the front drivers seat, sakusa peered at the window and was met with the furious face of your ex. scoffing, he slid into the driver's seat and let the window roll down to come face to face with the man you called your boyfriend several hours prior to what had just happened.

“what the fuck are you doing here?” you ex spat in anger as sakusa glared back equally as bitter.

“enjoying myself.” sakusa boredly stated as your ex’s face twisted into an expression of horror upon noticing you climbing back over to the front passenger seat with your clothes now back on, but appearance definitely disheveled.

“with that bitch?” the man outside of the car hissed as sakusa blocked his view.

“first of all, that so-called bitch? mine now, should’ve been from the start actually and secondly, get your disgusting presence away from my car, i’ve already had it deep cleaned this week and thanks to you, it’s gonna have to go back to be cleaned thoroughly again.”

your ex scoffed before backing up slightly.

“whatever, get the fuck out of my parking space though, and you,” he started past sakusa and directly into your eyes. “this makes you just as bad as me now so get off your high-horse.”

“actually,” you spoke up, hand resting on sakusa’s forearm to calm his peaking rage. “it doesn’t. kiyoomi was just a friend throughout the entirety of our relationship, he should’ve been the one to have been more than that though. it was never you.” you spoke briskly and cooly as sakusa smirked beside you.

before your ex could even open his mouth, sakusa let the windows slam but up before pressing the ignition.

“let’s just get out of here, you’re tired and it’s been a long day for you.” he offered a small smile as you nodded. outside, your ex was still yelling and begging for answers as the two of you took no notice. firing the engine back up, sakusa didn’t bother looking back before slamming onto the acceleration and speeding the two of you back through the streets and onto the main highway to take you back to his apartment where the two of you had things to talk about.

there was a lot lingering in the both of your minds, but you were certain the two of you were finally on the same page.

sakusa was upset you were hurt, but it didn’t matter now. you were his and over time, he’d help build you back up again, hand in hand, he wanted to put the time and effort into you that he had been wanting to do from the very start.

there weren’t a lot of people sakusa kiyoomi allowed close to him, would go out of his way for, would even care about for that matter, but as always, each and every time, you were exempt from that.

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