#anyway. sorry to rant but I woke up and saw 3 posts like that first thing this morning - in varying fandoms | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

atlabeth · 2 years

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tis the damn season part 3 - rafe cameron

part 2 | masterlist | part 4

a/n: lol sorry this took a metric fuck ton of time to come out i went back to school and i lost all motivation to write</3 i love it here. just for reference i drafted this post up on december 22 2021 and then proceeded not to touch it until like, two days ago. so yeah. i dont know if anyone still wants this series because it's been so long but here's part 3 anyways. a christmas fic in april? it's more likely than you think

and YES the family dinner was supposed to be in this chapter but i dont feel like making absurdly long chapters for this series so with my track record, you guys will have to wait another 3 months for it # lmao

warning(s): ward being a lil bit of a drama queen, alcohol (but they are all 21 its okay)

wc: 4.7k

It was far too early in the morning when you woke up, the first rays of the sunrise just barely managing to filter through the window drapes. You yawned as you sat up in the bed, and you couldn’t help the small smile that emerged when you looked over and saw Rafe still asleep next to you. He looked so peaceful when he was asleep, without all the pressure that came with his life, and you had to stop yourself from reaching out a hand to play with his already messy hair. (You couldn't even think about him being shirtless under the covers.) It felt far too natural, and it was way too easy to imagine that this was real.

You pushed those thoughts away as quickly as they appeared and slid out of bed, trying your best to be quiet as you walked to the bathroom. (You still thought it was insane that he had a bathroom in his room.)

Your first day in the Cameron household was easier than you thought it would be, but you attributed that to the surprising lack of family togetherness — Rose spending almost all day on the mainland and Sarah hanging out with her friends that night saved you from a first night family dinner. You were eternally grateful, because now you had an extra day to mentally prepare to play the part of the girlfriend on stage.

After washing your face and fixing your hair from a night of sleep, you decided to make the daring venture outside in the name of caffeine. You padded your way from Rafe’s room to the kitchen, trying to make as little noise as possible seeing as the Camerons were all likely asleep. If it was your decision you wouldn’t be awake either, but your internal clock from waking up early for 8ams was still on, much to your annoyance.

Their coffee maker was right next to the sink and you got to work making it the way you did at home. But god, this kitchen was a lot bigger than anything you were used to, and for some reason these people didn’t keep the coffee next to the coffee maker. You found the coffee filters quicker than you found the actual coffee. In what world—

“Looks like we’ve got another early riser in the family.”

Your heart nearly bursted out of your chest at the unexpected voice as it interrupted your internal rant, and when you whirled around you were met with the sight of Ward Cameron. He chuckled and held up his hands when you let out an obvious sigh of relief.

“Sorry, sorry — I didn’t mean to scare you like that.”

You offered a sheepish smile and shook your head. “You’re fine. I just wasn’t expecting anyone else to be up right now.” You gestured at the opened cabinets behind you. “I was just trying to find some coffee. Can’t really start my day without it.”

“Did you check the pantry?” he asked, gesturing behind him with a pointed finger to a door that you certainly did not check.

You sighed and shook your head as you walked over and opened the door. You made a triumphant noise when you found a bag of coffee grounds and walked back over to the counter. “Thank you,” you said as you opened the bag, then began spooning grounds into the fresh coffee filter. “I’m not used to a place this big.”

“So I’ve noticed,” Ward said, a hint of amusement in his voice. “Where are you from?”

“Raleigh,” you answered, and after you hit a few buttons you turned back to face him. “Right in the city, born and raised. I’ve lived in North Carolina all my life, but I’ve actually never come down here. I can’t wait to see more of it with Rafe.”

“It is a lovely place,” he agreed with a nod, then he crossed his arms. “I just can’t understand why Rafe’s never told us about you before. We only found out about you a couple days ago on the phone, but he said you’ve been dating since late freshman year.”

You nodded along to the story, filing the note away in your mind for future reference. Almost two years, since freshman year third quarter, moved in after you were dating. You guessed this was what Rafe meant when you agreed to improv this whole backstory. “You have me to blame for that. Um— after we got together, I asked him not to tell people up front, and that included his family. Just because I wanted to make sure that we were steady without the input of anyone else, you know? When he asked if I would come down for break with him to meet you all, it felt like it was the right time. I’m sorry that we kept it from you, but I don’t regret it.”

Something akin to surprise flashed in Ward’s eyes but it was gone just as quickly as he offered a slight smile. “I understand. But you have to know that I’m a man who values candor, and that’s why I’m just going to ask you upfront.” Your brows creased in question, but you didn’t have the chance to ask before Ward hit you with a bullet. “What are your intentions with my son?”

It was such a high school question that you had to hold back a laugh, especially after you realized he was serious. “I’m… I’m sorry?”

“Rafe’s a junior in college, just like you. He’s taking his hardest course load yet, as well as contributing to Cameron Development back home. He’s setting himself up for a bright future in the business, and he can’t afford to stumble right now.” You shifted unconsciously under his eyes, uncomfortable at the scrutiny. “He doesn’t need any distractions.”

You huffed a dry laugh, still in disbelief that he was trying to have this kind of talk with you on your second day here. “With all due respect, I’m not a distraction, and Rafe’s not a child. The whole time we’ve been dating, his performance has been nothing less than stellar. He’s made the dean’s list every year, and I’m sure once he gets his grades back from finals it’ll be the same thing. He can handle a relationship along with college.”

“I’m not questioning Rafe’s intelligence,” Ward said, a slight edge to his words. “I’m questioning your role in his life.”

Your grip tightened on the mug in an effort not to drop it, but you felt at this rate you might break the ceramic instead. “I’m sorry Mr. Cameron, but I don’t think this is an appropriate conversation for us to have. Enjoy the rest of your morning.”

You kept your gaze trained straight ahead as you walked past him, on a steady path to Rafe’s room to get away from a middle-aged man’s high school drama. You knew that this would happen eventually, but you thought you would get a little more time to prepare before he did his whole thing. Ward Cameron, just as Rafe told you, was a whole different kind of father.

Rafe was just waking up when you entered his room again, and you made a point of closing the door before leaning up against it with a huff. He frowned as he sat up, and amusement poked holes in your anger at the sight of him. Messy hair, that look in his eyes that says he was slightly out of it, and a morning voice that was near lethal when he speaks. “Why’re you up so early? Now I’m up too, at—” he squinted as he looked at the clock on his bedside table, “—6:47. On winter break.”

You rolled your eyes, hiding your smile as you sipped your coffee. “I can’t help it. You should be a heavier sleeper.”

“Whatever,” he mumbled, and he let himself fall back down onto the mattress. “I can’t even go back to sleep because I’m in planning mode.”

You hummed into your cup, amused. “Really? Planning mode? What, are you gonna draw up a house in front of me?”

Rafe snorted. “No, it means that you’re gonna have to deal with everything I’ve been coming up with to save us from the onslaught that is my parents trying to get to know the girlfriend.”

“Ah,” you said with a nod. “Hit me with it.”

“I’m sorry to say that the grace period of your visit is over,” he said. “Any chance my parents get, they’re going to be drilling us — mostly you, really — about our relationship. But, I can get us out of a lot of the day stuff by going around the island, showing you new things and shit. And luckily for you, I already texted my friends last night, and they’re down to hang out today.”

You pursed your lips and nodded slowly. “About that. Your friends — sounds great. Love it. Your parents — not great. Your dad’s already tried to Big Bad Wolf his way into my head.”

Rafe immediately sat up and looked at you, his brows creased in concern. “He— okay, what does that mean?”

You chuckled. “He tried to intimidate me, Rafe. But it’s not like it worked — I mean, those tactics lose a lot of weight when we’re not even together.”

“Still,” he pushed, “it’s not okay for him to talk to you like that. Especially on our second day here— god, he really has no boundaries. He barely even knows you and he’s already trying to get in your head—”

“Rafe,” you interrupted, giving him a pointed look. “It’s okay. I’m just telling you because I think it’s kind of ridiculous how bad he is at being subtle. He really just comes out, guns blazing.” You lowered your voice to Ward’s timbre. “What are your intentions with my son? I don’t understand what happiness is.”

Rafe huffed a laugh but the concern didn't leave his gaze. “Are you sure that you’re okay?”

“Yes,” you reassured, “I’m perfectly fine. If anything, it’s prepared me for the inevitable family dinner tonight.”

Rafe groaned as he finally pulled himself out of bed, picking up the shirt he threw on the floor the night before and tugging it on. “God, don’t remind me or I’m gonna end up day drinking.”

“Don’t worry — I’ll keep you sober until at least noon,” you said with a smile. “Now what were you saying about those friends?”

It took a few more hours — mostly of Rafe waking himself up — before the two of you were ready to go. You spent the time talking through your relationship (you updated him on the additions to the backstory) and he told you some about his friends.

Topper and Kelce — you remembered some things about them from stories Rafe had told, but you didn’t really know anything, apart from some stupid things they did at parties when they were still in high school. Rafe was sure that they would like you, but it was going to come with a lot of teasing on their part. You could deal with that.

You were adding a few finishing touches to your appearance when Rafe called your name and you looked up from the bathroom mirror. “Put this on,” he said, and he threw something over to you that you just managed to catch.

“Why?” you frowned, holding it up in front of you to see that it was one of his favorite flannel hoodies. “I have my own jackets.”

“Come on, you’ve dated guys before, I’ve dated girls before. All girlfriends are hoodie thieves.”

“Oh my god,” you laughed, and you shook your head. “I’ve never been to a country club before, but I’m pretty sure this isn’t appropriate attire.”

He shrugged. “Your dress is perfect for it; you can just take it off when we get there. I just don’t want you to be cold on the way.”

You just smiled. “You’re really going all in on this, huh?”

“My livelihood’s at stake, babe,” Rafe said with mock austerity. “I’m gonna need you to put it on — this is serious business.”

You snorted and rolled your eyes, but you slipped it on over your outfit anyways. It was surprisingly comfortable, and it smelled faintly of Rafe’s cologne. “Is it within my roomie privileges to take your sweatshirts once we get back home?” you asked as you walked out of the bathroom. “Because this is maximum luxury.”

“After going through this with me, you can have whatever hoodies you want, free of charge,” he chuckled. Rafe glanced in the mirror as he ran a hand through his hair, doing his thing where he tried to make it messy enough to look natural but styled enough to be presentable. You caught yourself looking and immediately averted your eyes, instead adjusting the strings on the hoodie as you followed him out the door.

The house was surprisingly empty when everyone was off doing their own thing — in a place this big, it was almost unnerving. The distance from Rafe’s room to the kitchen was basically the size of your apartment, but where your home was always filled with warmth of your mother and the music of everyday activities, Tanneyhill was devastatingly cold.

Maybe that spark of sympathy was what led you to slip your hand into Rafe’s without thinking. Though he glanced at you in surprise at first, it melted into a smile as he squeezed your hand and led you outside. You were almost disappointed when you reached his truck and he let go, but you pushed that away as quickly as possible as you got in the passenger side.

Just friends.

“So,” Rafe started as he backed out of the driveway, “we’re meeting at the country club. Kelce and Top don’t know anything about you, only the stuff that’s popped up when I’ve told ‘em stories that you’ve ended up in. They’re… honestly pretty good at detecting bullshit, especially when it comes to me. So I hope your lying is up to par.”

“Please,” you scoffed, “I’ll have you know I played an amazing Eponine in Les Mis sophomore year — I know exactly how to act like I’m in love with a guy. And if you need me to fake getting shot, I can do that too.”

He laughed and shook his head. “Good to know that we have options, but I don’t think it’s gonna get that bad. Just be yourself and they’ll love you — I know it.” Rafe smiled and you responded in kind.

The drive to the country club was quicker than you thought it would be, but you felt oddly prepared as you walked inside with Rafe, once again holding hands. You stopped at the hostess’s stand, and a few seconds later a woman walked up holding a stack of menus.

“Welcome to Kildare Country Club,” she said with a smile. “What can I help you with today?”

“There should be a reservation under Cameron?” Rafe said, his eyes darting around as he looked for his friends. “Two people might be here already, um— Topper Thornton and Kelce Smith.”

She nodded and pointed to the outside seating area. “They’re over there; should be the third table from the left.”

“Thanks.” Rafe pulled a bill out of his pocket, and you saw the twenty on it as he put it on the stand. “Have a good day.”

Her eyes widened slightly and she nodded, and as you started to walk off you nudged Rafe with your elbow. “That’s a generous tip. Am I rubbing off on you?”

He shrugged with a small smile. “I’ve been trying to be better about it.”

“Cameron!”

Your attention was drawn to the voice, the source of it a tall blonde who screamed frat boy. From pictures you knew he was Topper, and the dark-skinned guy behind him was Kelce. They were both wearing polos and khaki shorts, and you had to hold back a laugh. If you looked up country club in the dictionary, there would probably be a picture of them there.

Rafe grinned as he went over to them, hugging both boys then launching into an elaborate handshake. This time, you couldn’t stifle your laughter.

“You’re a total nerd,” you joked, and that earned you both boys’ attention as huge grins took over.

“Holy shit,” Topper said. “Kelce, it’s the girl.”

“You finally did it,” Kelce laughed, hitting Rafe on his shoulder. “Congrats, man. Never thought you’d actually get the guts.”

You chuckled a little bit, giving Rafe a slightly odd look before nodding a greeting to both boys. They couldn’t get those ridiculous smiles off their face, and so you nudged Rafe to get him to explain. He was knocked out of his one-sided glaring contest as he looked at you, and you gestured with your head at the two of them. Thankfully, he understood it.

“Let’s just get to the table,” he said as he slid an arm around your waist, “before you two start acting like even bigger idiots.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Kelce held up his hands as the four of you started walking. “You just didn’t mention you’d be bringing your girl.”

“Or that she was the girl,” Topper added, and Rafe just shook his head as you all reached the table. You didn’t expect it when he pulled out your chair for you, and you tried to hide your amusement as you sat down. You were starting to really dig the benefits of this fake dating thing.

He took his own seat next to you and, after a small smile at you, looked at his friends. “Top, Kelce, by how annoying you’re already acting I assume you know, but this is Y/N, my girlfriend.”

“Yeah, it’s about time.” Topper turned to you and inclined his head. “He has not shut up around you since freshman year. I thought he was going to die before he actually asked you out.”

“Shut up, man.” Rafe tried to flick Topper’s arm across the table but he just raised his hands in defense, his self-satisfied smile remaining.

“It’s nice to meet you both,” you said, jumping in an attempt to save Rafe from some embarrassment. “I’ve heard a lot about you two; all good things.”

“And we have heard a lot about you,” Kelce said. “But you should probably go over some stuff again, so we can hear it without Rafe’s lovesick filter.”

Rafe groaned and put his head in his hands. “You guys are the worst.”

You laughed but decided to indulge them anyway. “Well, I’m Y/N, like you already know. I go to Chapel Hill with Rafe, and I’m a humanities major on a pre-med track. I’m uh— I’m from Raleigh, and I’ve never been to the Outer Banks before, but it’s pretty great so far.”

“Pre-med?” Topper raised his eyebrows and looked at Rafe. “Sounds like she’s too smart for you.”

“That’s because she is,” Rafe said. “She’s already starting to apply to med schools, and she got a 522 on her MCAT! She is a genius, Topper.”

You felt your cheeks flush and you shook your head. “Stop, Rafe. I’m not.”

“This is one time where you don’t have to be humble, babe.” Rafe took your hand and turned to his friends. “She almost got a full ride to Chapel Hill on merit scholarships, and she’s gonna be a kickass doctor once she graduates.”

You bit back your smile, but the heat continued to rise in your cheeks. It did feel pretty good to have someone brag about you, especially after everything you had gone through to get to where you were.

“You wanna be a doctor?” Kelce asked. You nodded, and he grinned. “Sick. One of my cousins is an RN; she graduated from Vanderbilt a couple years ago for med school.”

“Really?” Your eyes lit up as you leaned forward. “I’m applying there! I’m hoping for Johns Hopkins, but Vanderbilt’s been on my list for a while. I’ve also really been looking into Southern California.”

“Oh, god,” Topper muttered. “Rafe, this is gonna go on for a while. Wanna go get drinks?”

Rafe glanced at you and when you nodded, he nodded. “Uh, sure. Just try not to talk her ear off, Kelce.”

You perked up. “Oh, can you get me—”

“A Mai Tai?” Rafe finished, and you grinned. “Yeah.”

“You know me so well.”

“I try.” Rafe hesitated for a moment as he stood up, and then he leaned in and gave you a quick kiss on the cheek. You quickly covered your surprise up with a half smile, and he mouthed ‘sorry’ with a slightly harried expression as he walked off with Topper.

“Well, good luck with Johns Hopkins,” Kelce said. “If you’re anything like Rafe’s described, then I’m sure you’ll be able to get in.”

Your smile grew and you nodded. “Thanks, Kelce. I really hope so.” You paused for a second, trying to find the words for your question. “Um, what has he said about me? To you and Topper.”

“I don’t really know if it’s my business to tell you, but let me just say that he is really into you. But…” Kelce sighed and his expression sobered. “You should know that my boy’s had it bad for you, for a long time. You obviously mean a lot to him if he’s bringing you home for Christmas, because he has never done it with a girl before. I think you’re one of the only ones he’s introduced to his family too. So… just don’t mess with him. I can tell you’re a good person, so I don’t think you will, but…” he trailed off, the implication hanging in the air.

You didn’t know what to say to that. What could you say to that? Rafe has liked you since freshman year, or at the very least has had feelings for you at some point. But now you were acting as his fake date until New Year’s, and meeting his friends and family along the way. What did that mean for this whole thing?

You decided to ignore the whole thing, at least for now. You would deal with it later when you weren’t in front of an audience.

“Yeah,” you nodded, “of course. I would never hurt Rafe. I… I really care about him. I still can’t really believe that we’re together, honestly. It feels like a dream.”

Kelce smiled and you did too, but as it turned slightly coy you decided to ask the question that had been bugging you since it was brought up. “Did he really talk about me that much?”

He laughed. “Oh my god, constantly. Ever since this one party he went to freshman year, he wouldn’t stop talking about this girl that he met that, and I quote, rocked his world.”

You laughed as well, and when your fingers brushed your cheek you could feel all the heat that had gathered there. For the love of god, you needed to relax.

You just started taking your sweatshirt— Rafe’s sweatshirt, you reminded yourself— when he and Topper got back to the table, carrying a whole lot of drinks between them.

“One Mai Tai for the lady,” Rafe said, placing the glass in front of you, “and a fuck ton of shots for the rest of us.”

“Oh my god.” Your eyes widened slightly as Topper and Rafe placed down a combined ten shots, and you looked at your watch. “Guys, it’s 12:34; it is not late enough for shots. What’s even in there?”

Topper smiled. “Vodka. And this one,” he pushed the extra glass in your direction, “is for you. Think of it as your OBX rite of passage.”

You shook your head but the beginnings of a smile found its way onto your lips. “I can’t believe you’re all doing shots at noon, vodka at that.”

“Hey,” Kelce started as he picked up his own shot, “they do bottomless mimosas here every morning, which means they want you to get drunk before noon. We’re just subverting expectations by doing it thirty minutes after.”

You rolled your eyes and sighed. “Fine. But only this, because I have a feeling I’m gonna end up driving home.”

“Don’t worry,” Rafe said as he clinked your shots together with a smile, “I’ll make sure you don’t get too drunk.”

“I’m pretty sure that doesn’t count if you drink more than me.” You threw back your shot and your entire face immediately scrunched up as you set the glass on the table, regret instantly hitting you. “I forgot how much I hated vodka,” you winced.

“You’re such a lightweight,” Rafe joked, looking completely unaffected just like Kelce and Topper.

“Oh, you love it,” you retorted.

“Yeah,” Rafe agreed with a smile, “I do.”

You only managed to hide one of your own by taking a sip of your drink, completely oblivious to the very knowing looks Topper and Kelce were giving each other as you and Rafe basically beamed at each other.

“You guys gotta get a room,” Kelce interrupted, and you choked on your drink. That was enough to break the temporary reverie.

All that shit Kelce told you was throwing you for a spin, but it obviously didn’t mean anything. It was freshman year — you’d changed a lot in two years, and there was no doubt Rafe had too. He didn’t like you anymore, at least not like that. You were sure of it.

Besides. What kind of idiot asked his former crush to fake date him?

You ended up spending a lot more time with Kelce and Topper than you thought you would, but then again — the conversation also flowed a lot easier than you thought it would. You talked more about yourself, Topper and Kelce told you stupid stories about Rafe when he was younger, and a hefty amount of teamwork between you and your fake boyfriend kept the relationship talk to a minimum.

It wasn’t until four hours later when Rafe got a text from Rose asking him to come home to help set things up for dinner that you had to say goodbye to the boys, and only after a whole lot of last minute teasing crammed in by Kelce and Topper.

With the keys to Rafe’s truck in one hand — after his fourth shot you decided to stop a quarter of the way through your own drink to officially take over DD status — and his own hand intertwined in the other, the two of you walked out to the parking lot. It was then that you finally burst, the questions that had been piling on top of each other toppling over almost the second you were far enough away from the country club.

“Oh my god, Rafe—”

“Don’t even say it,” he muttered, but you couldn’t bite back your laughter.

“You had a crush on me!” you exclaimed, giving him a playful shove. “That is so embarrassing!”

He laughed and glanced at you. “How is that embarrassing?

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, “it just is. I mean, I didn’t know you constantly talked about me—”

Rafe shook his head again, and it was then that he seemed to realize you two were still holding hands, because he let go to run one through his hair. “They exaggerated. They just like to make fun of me, and now that they have a hot girl to do it in front of, they’re relentless.”

You grinned at him as you came to a stop in front of his truck, leaning against the side of the car in an attempt to mimic him. “You think I’m hot?”

Rafe groaned, but the smile and slight pink tint on his cheeks gave away his amusement. “Just get in the car.”

“Sure, sure,” you relented. You got in on the driver’s side and put on your seatbelt, waiting to start the car until he did the same. “But seriously — this was like, an all-in-one day. You babe’d me, bragged about me, and kissed me. I think we’re definitely ready for tonight.”

“You’re impossible, you know that?”

“I try.” But you backed out of the spot, you couldn’t help but glance at him with a mischievous smile. “Good to know I rocked your world though.”

He put his head in his hands with yet another groan. “I’m never letting you near my friends again.”

perm tags: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin @maruchan77 @simonsbluee @kwyloz @masteroperator

obx: @milkiane @lilgoddesshines

series: @aaleksmorozova @everyonesannoyedwithme @sunnysidee-up @onlygetaway @itsalexwin @hanniebee33

#rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x you #rafe x reader #rafe cameron #rafe cameron obx #rafe cameron fic #rafe fic #outer banks #obx #outer banks x reader #obx x reader #rafe cameron series #sadie writes

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kepnerandavery · 2 years

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Hii, i'm rewatching s14 Japril scenes and omg is so confusing (i know that bad writing and bts drama had influence but i'm trying to make sense of that season lol)

So first we have the we don't talk about montana shit and the cursed 14x02 scene, i guess they were trying to portray that J dosen't care about A feelings and that he move on and is in love with his sister, but idk, why is he mute, like was he no allowed to talk lol? He could have say that it was a mistake or something like that, idk is a weird scene, i can't understand his face.

Then when April starts losing her mind, Jackson is the first one who noticed and tries to talk to her multiple times (not her best friend Arizona or idk Owen he always cares about her) and keeps looking at her and reaching to her (when she has the banana bag, when he say he's worried for her, talking to arizona, the supply closet scene, the play games scene, when he tells maggie that he's gonna try talk to her again and watches her walk away, the hug scene (when he is mute again🙄) and she tells him that she's okay to take harriet and he ask if SHE is ok like worrying about her in particular) Why made him been the one noticed about her crisis, asking, looking at her, reaching multiple times.. and episodes before he supposedly didn't care about her(14x02), like i don't get it.

And then episodes later boom, Jackson looses completely his shit about April almost death in a way that still surprised me that Krista and all the bitches allow him to have, his reaction at matthew in the hospital scene, his first face when he saw him proposing to april and when he avoids the stare after they kiss. (And yess he smiles but he smiled in season 9 in the first proposal and we now how that went and maybe is wishfull thinking but he looks even sadder, the smile seem very sad and like it took effort)

And why put april saying you're my.. Like why leave that open there and they look at each other lips and the way that he touches her arm like omg, everything is so damn confusing

Oh and the next season you have him talking about April with Maggie

- I prayed and April woke up

- Who else are you talking too? April sometimes..

- I didn't picture my marriage ending

- I'm greaving, GREAVING (Jackson, baby you already divorce years ago lol)

- Now is too late, SHE'S happy with someone else (he dosen't even want to name Matthew lol)

Honestly, what was Krista thinking? Idk what she tried to achieved in those scenes but damn, it fail hard lol

Anyways, thoughts? Sorry for the rant, i looked at a couple of your posts and wanted to share..

First of all, Hi! Second, You never have to apologize for ranting about japril on my blog cause this whole blog is pretty much filled with a series of japril rants lol.

I have always thought that Krista was trying to accomplish a few things through her awful creative decision making.

1) She wanted to portray japril as strictly platonic friends, and beat us in the head with that fact until we lost our minds.

2) She wanted to take some important details about japril’s relationship, and use that to push Jackson towards Maggie (eg: they wrote the story about Maggie’s mom’s death, and tried to replicate the hurt/comfort trope that japril always showcased, and the fire in 13x24 was similar to the bus explosion in 9x24). And that is also just lazy writing on their part cause they couldn't even come up with an original way to start Jackson's new "relationship".

3) Imo, most of 14x24 and some of the callbacks to japril after season 14 were simply a slap in the face to japril fans. And I bet they also wanted the engagement from japril fans on twitter cause our fandom is a force to be reckoned with on social media, so when Jackson mentioned April, the fans started talking about them, and Grey’s Anatomy also got talked about in the process. They were using us even after letting Sarah go. The sheer audacity of Krista, I tell you!

With that being said, I also believe that some of the writers on the show (the ones with a spine and half a brain cell that is), wrote some of the scenes where they showed Jackson struggling without April cause it was how the story should have been written. Plus Jesse is great, and he fully understands his character so he might have had something to do with the japril mentions too.

Now onto some specific scenes you mentioned,

First, there's the infamous 13x16 ep. I just re-watched Sarah and Jesse's Q&A for that ep to answer your ask, and connected some dots. So according to Sarah, 13x16 was filmed right after they filmed 13x09 (which is when April tried to start dating again and Jackson looked miserable at the prospect of it). And the eps in between were written and filmed afterwards. Sarah also said that she and Jesse collaborated with Elisabeth Finch (the writer of 13x16) and made some changes to the script, so I think their collaboration, Elisabeth's writing, and Kevin Mckidd's direction made that episode amazing. And I also think that the writers had planned to get japril back together around the time 13x16 was being filmed, and Krista interviewed after they shot the ep. When she took over the show, she made it clear that she disliked japril, then she waited a few months before starting to assert her dominance and making stupid decisions. The eps between 13x09 and 13x16 were written after they shot 13x16, and those eps were used to sideline April and pull japril apart, but then they had to still air 13x16 (which was already shot). Then in the next ep, we saw Jackson treating Maggie’s mom, and we all know what that lead to. So it was all a planned ambush. If Krista had her way, we would probably not have gotten japril the sequel at all.

When it comes to their scene in 14x02, something tells me that they had Jackson not say anything because if he actually talked in that scene, Sarah and Jesse’s chemistry would not have made the scene believable. That scene was intended indicate the end of japril’s relationship. Sarah has mentioned how she had to ask the director to change April's demeanor in that scene, and I think they initially wanted April to be angry with Jackson instead of hurt by him so that she would’ve looked resentful. I'm glad Sarah asked for the change to be made. Bless Sasse for still making that scene believable though cause it's painful to watch.

As for the scenes where Jackson noticed April was struggling with her faith in season 14, and tried to help her. I think the writers tried to show their friendship in those scenes cause Jackson was still the person that knew April the best. But from what I've seen of those eps, it didn't feel like japril's friendship was super intact through that time. And the kiss scene in 14x16 felt like a punch in the gut for me. If they wanted to show japril's friendship, they could have showed him helping her as a friend, but no, they had to add that scene and break our hearts. At the end of the day, he didn't really get to be there for her, and it only made April sadder. So it's clear that the scene was unnecessary and a slap in our faces.

Then the scenes in 14x23.. The ep was written by William Harper (aka the person who wrote the iconic 10x12 ep), so we can guess why those scenes were so good. But for me, unless you play close attention to Jesse's expressions, you can't tell that japril were too far from being platonic friends in that episode. Imagine how Jackson would have reacted to April nearly dying in the end of season 8 or through seasons 9,10,11, or 12, and compare that to how he was in 14x23. Yes, he was devastated, and Jesse's performance was amazing. But for me, it seemed like both he and Sarah were trying to not portray japril as a romantic couple in that ep. But their chemistry in those scenes was so undeniable that it still made me die inside. Regardless of that, I don't think the director of that ep intended for those scenes to be viewed that way.

And then you have the scene where Jackson talked about struggling with his grief/regretting their divorce. When they wrote storylines for Jackson’s character after April was no longer in his life to the degree that she was before, they couldn’t simply erase years' worth of history that belonged to his character. So whether Krista liked it or not, Jackson’s inner turmoils and the circumstances he was in had a lot to do with losing Samuel, and going through his divorce. So the writers might have been forced to call back to some of those past moments for the purpose of creating drama in the show.

In other words, screw Krista! 😭

#sorry that my answer is so long #I just have a lot of thoughts when it comes to japril lol #jackson avery #april kepner #japril #greys anatomy #asks

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lesbiansoncaffiene · 3 years

Text

AFTG As Shit Me And My Friends Have Said (pt. 2)

Y’all like the last one so much (it’s my most liked post as of rn so thank you!!) that we now have a part dos

Also features quotes from my gov class and from my (twin) brother

Matt: I am very happy to declare pawnshops as “EBay irl”

Dan: dear god

——————————————

5:24am

*Nicky named the chat Toothpaste Man Fanclub*

5:25am

*Andrew left the chat*

—————————————

Renee: I cannot believe I have to say this, you’re not allowed to cut into a cake baby

Aaron, his scalpel ready: goddamit

——————————

Matt, drunk: Me when I cut off my ear for the lols

——————————

The AFTG fandom: Gender, in the state of this nation? I think the fuck not

——————————

Wymack: Wow I have a lot of white in my beard

Abby: It’s because you’re old

Kevin: Well the alternative is dead so..

Wymack and Abby: ..

——————————

Aaron, to Katelyn, who always falls asleep during Marvel movies: do you wanna watch a Marvel movie?

Katelyn: *snorts*

——————————

Seth: What if you’re pregnant and go to China, and your baby is born while you’re in China

Renee: You can’t fly in a plane during your 3rd trimester of pregnancy

Seth: Yea but what if you drove

*disappointed sighs*

———————

Kevin: omg I found a picture of my best friend in PreK

Kevin: The one who told me Satan was gonna eat me

Matt: ….I’m sorry what-

————————

Nicky: My only goal in life is to piss off my ancestors by going to the spice section in the grocery store

————————

Kevin: someone tried to mansplain on me in my history class, I hope they know that I’m a self-diagnosed autistic bisexual with a god complex who is going to prove him wrong

Dan: yep time to call Betsy

——————————

Jean: listen I’m aroace but if Mothman ever wanted to fuck…..

Laila: shut uP, ShuT UP-

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Aaron: we have to take care of these egg baby’s in my healthcare class *shows eggs with goggly eyes attached*

Andrew, looking it dead in the eyes: eat it. Eat the baby

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Nicky *on the bus*: SCOOBY DOOBY DOO

Matt: WHERE ARE YOU

Neil, from the back: emotional hell

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Jeremy *about some gossip*: omg what a plot twist

Alvarez: that only happens in books

Jeremy: shhh I’m projecting

——————————

Renee: wow, that was great parallel parking, you must have aced your drivers test

Andrew: my what

——————————

*3am on a school night*

Dan: Don’t you think it’s weird that getting lab work done is basically walking into the doctors office and asking them to take your life juice?

Allison: if you don’t shut up and go to sleep I’m calling Wymack

————————

Neil: I hope Wymack lets me make Jack do the little lad dance for missing practice

Seth: that would bring all the serotonin that I’m missing back into my life tbh

————————

Andrew: I’m a very slow reader, I should not start a 10K fic at 2:35am

Neil: You going to anyway aren’t you

————————

Allison *showing Renee a meme*: Why was my first thought when I saw this ‘I should send this to my therapist’

Renee: Because you’re mentally ill, babe

———————

Andrew: Why make good decisions when arson is an option?

Aaron: Is arson… not a good decision?

———————

Nicky: okay so how do we let Andrew know that we know he’s gay. I have a few ideas-

Renee: well, we should be subtle-

Nicky, already pulling out a full on rainbow costume: do we /have/ to?

———————

Allison: is my straightener in your room?

Neil: I don’t think anything in my room is straight but you can check

———————

Andrew *on a rant about Adam Levine’s voice*: it sounds like he’s been hit in the balls

Wymack, who woke up two minutes ago when he thought someone was breaking into his house at 3:38am: what the fuck

————-

Neil: My lungs thought it would be funky and fresh to stop working when it is in fact not funky nor fresh

Matt: You just had an asthma attack, can you shut up-

———————

Aaron: I have therapy today

Kevin, trying to be supportive: that’s hot

————————

Renee: I love you but your pizza cutting skills are enough to ward off God

Dan, who cut the pizza into squares: yeah that’s fair

——-

Dedicated to Jess who read these and approved 100% *sorta*

——-

Part 3? Possibly?? If y’all like it???

——-

Part 1:

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it9chi · 4 years

Text

emergency contact hcs

alternative title: it’s been awhile since you two broke up and until now neither of you changed your contact information for various reasons and because of this you are still saved as the emergency contact

kageyama:

kageyama would either be working out or sleeping when he suddenly gets a call from a random number in the middle of the night

say like.. 2-3 am

mf wouldn’t even look at the caller when answering cs its either he got interrupted during his sessions or he got woken up

he groggily answers the phone and winces when he hears loud club music from the other end just dampening his mood a bit more lol

“is this kageyama tobio?” he hears the other line ask

kageyama suddenly sits up straight like wtf happened this time

mind you this mf doesnt even go to clubs so why would anyone in a club or some party area call him let alone get his number

“yeah. who is this?” is what kageyama replies

“sorry to bother you at this time but you are the emergency contact of miss y/n l/n and i’m here to inform you that she is passed out drunk at (club location) so if you don’t mind please pick her up for her own safety”

without a second thought, kageyama agrees and grabs his keys to his car and basically pressed on the gas and zoomed at the said location

he doesnt even realize how worried he was til he noticed how his grip on the steering wheel was so tight his knuckles turned white

even if you two broke it off, he still genuinely deeply cares for you to this extent of picking your ass up at some club doing god knows what

kageyama has probably began overanalyzing the situation and thinking it was his fault on why you were acting like this

when he arrives at the club, thankfully you were still there with the bartender

you were slouched on the bar with shot glasses surrounding you

“i just miss him so much” you cried to the bartender. “i mean i gave him everything! he was my first he even took away my goddamn virginity and yet..” you paused, lips quivering, as the thought of kageyama breaking up with you replayed in your head like a broken record

“y/n” kageyama speaks up after eavesdropping at your little rant to the bartender

you whip your head up and lo and behold, it was the guy who broke your heart. the reason why you’re in this club for the 4th time this week

“t-tobio?” you stuttered, suddenly feeling sober

kageyama cringes at the sight. your hair was all tousled, your eyebags are prominent making it look like you’ve cried for weeks or you had no sleep

but he assumes you did both only making him guiltier

kageyama walks up to you and drapes his jacket over your exposed shoulders

“let’s go home yeah?” he says quietly. you don’t say anything but let him take you home

before you two leave the bar, he thanks the bartender for keeping you safe and sound by the time he arrived (tipping him of course)

you woke up with a killer headache the next morning on his bed with a million questions running through your mind

suna:

you and suna had a rough breakup

there were a lot of unanswered questions and overall you two got toxic real quick just a little after suna went pro

you don’t even know why or how it happened

suna would suddenly come home all stressed and shit and wouldnt utter a word to you and the next morning he’d be back to the suna you once knew

this became a reoccuring thing where it all just piled up and boom! mf called it quits after YEARS being together

and because of this abrupt occurrence in your relationship,

(you’ve broken up a few times before this btw)

he seemed to be genuinely done with the relationship (for now is what you think lol)

so you were the bitter ex girlfriend

tweeting and sharing abt very obvious and shady things abt your relationship with suna n the such

when the twins found out oh boy were they in for a surprise

you kept posting abt being single and free and all that shit but everyone knows whats the jist anyway

you two will come back to each other eventually

suna was also being bitter and lowkey started to talk shit abt ur relationship (only to the twins tho cs suna isn’t THAT bitter)

+ the twins know its bullshit anyway lmfao

cs u also talk shit abt suna to them

back to the story !!

you’ve posted something very uhh you know.. something that you know suna has to come back crawling to you

so you posted on your instagram story abt ur halloween costume for this year

ironically enough u and suna had this halloween pact where y’all would dress up as couple characters and everyone on the tl always found it cute but sadly for now you are single

so you posted a very sexc selfie of u wearing mai’s costume from rascal does not dream abt bunny girl senpai

suna obviously saw this and was salty abt how you looked like that WITHOUT him

so he was mad,,, at himself and at you for some whackass reason

and to deal with his anger, he resolved into practicing volleyball surpass his limits

(mf thot he was deku or smth)

because of this he sprained his ankle rlly badly that he ended up on the hospital

and since he didnt bother to change your contact info, you were still the emergency contact

that means you got contacted by the hospital at 11 pm

IMMEDIATELY you rushed to the hospital cs wtf happened to your (ex)boyfriend

and when you arrived at the emergency room, you see suna sitting on the bed with his leg elevated

“whoops” is what all suna says when he watches you go through a rollercoaster of emotions

you didn’t exactly know if you wanted to cry, laugh or be angry at his situation

laugh cs mf deserved it for breaking ur heart

cry cs u thought something really bad happened to him

angry that he pushed himself too hard for volleyball

you sat next to him and waited for his doctor to tell you what happened and what needs to be done

the doctor basically tells you suna just needs to stay at home til his leg heals before he can start playing again and you just need to be with him to take care of him n shit

nothing much tbh

just missing a lot of practice and you being around again

something he genuinely misses but acts like he doesnt

on the inside suna was glad he just needs to stay at home cs that means he can destress for a little longer and that you were there, maybe he can get you back

#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x reader #kageyama imagines #kageyama headcanons #kageyama x reader #suna imagines #suna headcanons #suna x reader

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ivyglow · 3 years

Text

psa + deactiv for a bit

I had some time to read what some people were saying out there and it really saddens me how many “I’m lgbtqia+ and I don’t see anything wrong with the tweets” or “at his age I used to say the same things”, this shows us two things 1) some of you were/are really privileged for not understanding that this is systemic violence, therefore, the person who said the slur doesn’t need to mean it in a bad way because it’s a slur no matter the context and 2) some of you think that just because something happened in the past you don’t need to apologize or recognize your mistakes, which is awful, I’m sorry.

Being a black girl and having a white mother taught me a lot about acknowledgment, just a couple years ago I started calling my mom out in some of her actions and she made me a lot of questions, we discussed a series of topics and her view on racism has been amplified, just a couple months ago she came to me and she apologized for something she did when I was a five years old kid, she said she was sorry if she ever made me feel bad about my skin, or my nose or anything regarding my blackness, she apologize for things she realizes were wrong to my sister too (and my sister is white, so this isn’t only about the “woke” subject as some people try to make it seem). I’ve never asked my mom to apologize, she also never asked me to forgive her, but I’m sure if she was a public person and something came out about her hurting someone (intently or not) she would apologize, because this is how we grow and this is how we acknowledge our mistakes. We understand that we’re inserted into a bigger space and this space influences how we react to some things, but when we have the opportunity to do better: we do better.

Systemic violence such as racism and homophobia don’t necessarily need the other part to mean harm, because again: it's systemic. Slurs were wrong back then and they still wrong nowadays. It doesn’t mean that because you used it back then you’re a homophobe now, but it means that you hurt someone at the time and how you react and respond to this situation now says something about who you are in the present. I’m so so sad with people saying they used to say it therefore it's not a problem or that he was a kid. Yes, it was something “common” to SOME of you at the time, but it doesn’t mean it was right and if any of you ever get the opportunity to apologize to someone that was around you at the time: please, do. Yes, nols was a teenager at the time, but as a white, rich boy he gets to have the “space to grow” and make mistakes that bipoc and some lgbtqia+ never had. My brother has the same age as Nolan, and he wasn’t excused for his mistakes -no matter how small they were- because he was a black kid.

When I say publicly talking and apologizing, addressing the issue, I mean it so people can see that no matter if for some it seemed ok back then, it wasn’t. Some of you didn’t felt personally attacked by the slurs, which is fine but to say that it wasn’t harmful reduces the feeling of a whole group to your own feelings, it makes exactly what those acts of violence do: it treats us as homogenous.

I’m completely fine with people supporting him, I really am, it wasn’t my intention to make everyone angry with my first post, I was addressing an issue that was brought to me in my ask box, saying how hockey culture is not something that starts on the nhl or isn’t influenced by the majority there (white, rich, cis, etc). Whoever took the time to read the whole thing saw that I said everything people are repeating there: he was a teenager, probably space, where he grew up, didn’t really introduce him on social issues, people probably never called him out on that at the time and so on, but this doesn’t change the fact that slurs aren’t ok. It strikes me as some of you still live in a fairytale where we get to have bad guys and good guys, but we're human beings and we need to start understanding that someone can do something bad in the past without necessarily being a bad person (that goes from problem to problem, of course). You say you want to change hockey culture and that you want to do better but when a bipoc/lgbtqia+ points an issue and wants to debate it y’all are quick to choose the one who has the same view as you and use it (@someone is gay and didn’t felt affected by it, therefore, it isn’t a big deal!!!), and it's just curious, honestly.

You also feel as if you have the right to come to my inbox and say hateful stuff, question my views and point a finger at me. I’m not perfect nor I expect any player to be, I’m well aware they are mostly white rich men, and the environment they grew up in is completely different from what we would expect as the ideal, but it doesn’t mean that we’re gonna simply ignore issues. That being said I’m not answering about this topic anymore, its tiring and stressful especially when people already have everything out there, and what I keep doing is basically repeating myself in different ways just so yall get your message. I’m not here to educate, this is supposed to be a safe space for me, yet I do talk about these topics because I know we need it more around here. The fact that some of you choose to block me (when we never really talked!!!), point me as a problematic blog, or diminish the topic, shows a lot about hockey culture (that is very present between the fans, not only in the league).

When you start to realize that part of the discomfort we feel while dealing with these issues is the key to changing the situation we’re gonna start going somewhere, while you keep diminishing it and trying to make excuses we’ll be stuck.

I recommend you to read mia’s rant about it here. Also, take some time to read about the nwhl situation here.

I’m leaving for a while, maybe a day or two or maybe a week, I’m not sure, I just need some time to get my energy back, I deal with this shit every day irl, I shouldn’t have to feel bad in here. I’m really thankful for all the supportive people and I’m really sorry for the hateful anons or the people who felt like I was attacking them or their fave, that wasn’t my intention (especially because nols was my fav too, but I personally felt kinda off, maybe in a different time I wouldn’t feel off and that's ok too). Anyway, I hope I see y’all soon in a better vibe than that (those last lb’s were really good for me btw! you guys are amazing) and if you miss me that much (jk) you can ask for my discord acc to my tito ( @barbienoturbby ). love yall <3 mel

I’m turning my anons back because of all the named anons I had and I know some of them don’t have a tumblr acc but please: don’t send in shitty things/hate, just go live your life the way you want and leave me in peace.

sorry for the long rant, I just felt like clarifying things because besides the asks there are people blocking me and unf me like crazy which is ?????

#nolpats hasn't show signals of being problematic like other players in our league and when we point an issue it seems as if were accusing +#him of being #which we're not doing #we're just starting an important debate and looking for acknowledgment #nolpats still a good person in my head #but it doesn’t change the fact that he just like some of us did something wrong and the right thing to do is act on it #anyway #I'll probably bb cuz I think I'll miss lbs and some of my friends and anons #important #mel rambles #see yall soon I hope <3 #muah #hugs kisses and all the rainbows hearts and stars emojis I usually use jaja #i queued some stuff so you might see my user around this week assjsj #ill make sure to queue some more hihi #see you soon guys!#nolan patrick #this is the last thing im tagging about him btw #no worries about clogging since im not talking about it again too :)#s all good #yall can move on w your lives

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koreanmadeingreece · 4 years

Text

Why, why, why (3)

University student!Yuta x reader

Genre: slight enemies to lovers au, a bit of angst, a lot of fluff, and several mixups

Summary: You just got into uni and decided to move in with your childhood friend!Taeyong at the city where you are going to study. As you’re about to start your new, adult life, you meet his friends, and you realize that not everyone likes you. Nakamoto Yuta in particular almost seems like he hates you.

A/N: In this fic, Jonghyun from NU’EST appears for a while (just to avoid confusion). Also, wow I never thought I’d post this. I hope you guys like it. Also I thought I’d update every Sunday but I couldn’t restrain myself. Welp.

Warnings: n/a

Word count: 1.8K (I should let you know that I’ve finished writing it so I’ll update it every 3 or 4 days!)

Part 3/I don’t remember First / Previous / Next

Taglist: @melitadala @chxotickpoptrash (please let me know if you’d like to be tagged!)

When you entered the house, V ran into your arms for an embrace, calling you his savior, as you had just brought the food, which made the others laugh. When you reassured them again that you were okay with treating them, you all sat down in your freshly cleaned living room to eat.

That was when you noticed Yuta sitting a bit further than the others, eating quietly, and decided to come a bit closer to him.

“You’re not very talkative, are you?” You tried to joke around since no one would listen to you. The others were arguing about one of the professors at uni and if he’s single, so they wouldn’t even notice you switching places.

“Oh, sorry, it was just that I was thinking about something. It shouldn’t make you worry, really,” he answered.

“Are you sure? Because you haven’t talked to me all day. I mean, I know you just met me this morning and that I’m not your friend, but I’d love to get to know you a bit better.”

“I’m okay with that, don’t worry about me. I’m just paranoid sometimes and I’m thinking a bit too much about certain things, so just ignore me when I do that, okay?”

“So, we’re off to a good start, I guess.”

“Yeah, I guess you can say that.” He smiled at you. This was the second smile he had offered you ever since this morning, and it kind of made you light up a bit. You still didn’t know what made you so interested in him. You just had to get to know him.

The next day was similar to the first, as you had to finish cleaning and start unpacking both yours and Taeyong’s things and decorate the living room. Thankfully, Taeyong didn’t have a much different taste than yours, so it was actually easy to decide what you’d hang on the walls and what color the couch pillows would be. The biggest issue was your rooms and what you’d do with them.

You took the boxes with your stuff and Johnny immediately came to help, offering to also help you with your room. V followed you and Yuta went to help Taeyong. You enjoyed their company a lot if you were going to be completely honest, and you secretly thought they’d let you join them sometimes. You really thought you weren’t a burden for them, as they’ve been friends for years and you just came to disrupt their lives. You’d never even think of causing a problem to them, so you waited patiently for any signs that would show you how they felt about you. There was just one thing you had to ask.

“So, how did you guys meet?” you asked, as you were placing your clothes in the closet.

“Do you mean us two, or…”

“All of you. How did you become like… a group?”

“Ah, funny story,” V said, “I got into a fight on my first day of uni. Someone just came straight to me and called me names because I was zoning out, and Johnny with Taeyong came to my rescue.”

“Aw, they’re true heroes,” you laughed.

“Something like that. Taeyong and Johnny met right there in front of me, and then we all decided to go to lunch together. Then Yuta came. Taeyong had met him a few hours earlier and told him to go to lunch with him, so we all sat together. And we clicked.”

Johnny nodded in agreement and gave you a stack of clothes to put away, while V was telling the story from your bed. You hadn’t put the sheets on it yet, so it was only a mattress, but it worked well for him.

“I don’t know if I should be asking this but are Taeyong and Yuta that close? I mean, he doesn’t tell me much over the phone, and with all the stuff going on because of the house we haven’t really talked yet,” you asked.

“They’re close. They’re not together if that’s what you’re asking. They’re just really good friends. If you ask me, we make a great group. It’s just that he always was a bit more protective over Taeyong, but Yuta’s definitely straight. If he wasn’t I’m sure they’d already been together by now,” Johnny told you and you continued putting clothes away, when Johnny interrupted your thoughts. “Don’t mind him. He might seem a bit distant, but he’ll open up eventually. It’s probably that you’ve been friends with Taeyong for so long and he feels kind of left out.”

“Oh my god, have I done anything like that?”

“No, no. Don’t worry about it. He was thinking about it ever since he found out you’d move with Taeyong but, trust me, you haven’t done anything. I mean, you didn’t make any of us feel bad. You’re actually fun to be around. You can come to hang out with us whenever you want, okay?” Johnny’s words were music to your ears. What you were hoping for was coming true. Your new life had officially started taking its form, and you were ecstatic about it.

Your house was finally ready, your posters were on the walls and your clothes were in the closet. After you made your bed and had V try it out, you could finally sit and enjoy it.

“Did you call your mom? She’s probably scared to death that she just let you handle a new house on our own,” Taeyong told you after the guys left.

“I did and I also sent her pictures. She’s thrilled.”

“Your dad?”

“Mom said he just nodded. I wouldn’t expect anything else.” You sat on the couch next to Taeyong.

“He doesn’t get really involved, does he?”

“Only when he’s in the mood. Which happens about… five times a year?”

“Sucks to be you.”

“Yeah, especially when he missed my gymnastics performance.” You took a bite of your sandwich.

“Well, now you’re here. If he doesn’t want to lose you, he has some work to do. Now, will you give me a bite?” And that was how the evening passed with Taeyong. You were calm, relaxed and it was exactly how you imagined it to be. All you had to worry about for the time being was the first day of uni.

You woke up the next morning and looked too pale to be human, as you had barely managed to sleep last night. You got dressed in one of your favorite outfits, a loose red shirt and black ripped jeans, and washed your face before putting some mascara and lipstick on. When Taeyong confirmed you looked hot, you were ready to go. Taeyong left you outside of the building of your first class and left for his class.

You went inside and found a seat not too close to the professor, and soon after, you noticed a tall guy approaching you and taking the seat next to you.

“First day, huh?” he asked you. “Are you excited?”

“Yeah, pretty much. I’m kind of stressed too. What’s your name, by the way?”

“I’m Yugyeom. It’s nice to meet you.” He extended his arm to you for a handshake.

“I’m Y/N.” And that was your first acquaintance. He seemed really nice. Kind, at least. You liked him at a first glance. He turned to speak to you quite a few times during our first class, but he didn’t annoy you. He was quite pleasant to be around.

After a while, you heard someone enter the room, stumbling on the stairs.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” he said and took the seat next to you, on the opposite side of Yugyeom. “Was I too loud?” he whispered to you.

“No, don’t worry about it. No one’s going to remember it tomorrow anyway,” you smiled at him.

“I hope so. And, if they do, at least I made them laugh.” He smiled back. “I’m Chan.”

“I’m Y/N and this is Yugyeom,” you said and shook hands with him as well.

When the first class was over, you headed to the other classroom for the next period and sat next to the two boys you had just met. They were extremely fun to be with, especially Chan, who was a walking mess and extremely clumsy.

You suggested going for coffee after class, so you texted Taeyong not to pick you up and walked next to Chan and Yugyeom, who knew a nice coffee shop around the corner. You found a table and sat down when you saw a guy approaching your table.

“Hey, Yugyeom, wasn’t he sitting close to us in class?”

“Now that you mention it, yeah. Should we tell him to sit with us?” And, before you could even answer, Yugyeom was already standing up from his chair. “Hey! Wanna sit with us?”

“Uh, sure.”

“We saw you in class, we’re not creeps, I promise,” you reassured him. “This is Yugyeom and this is Chan.”

“I’m BamBam.”

“BamBam?” Chan asked. “Is it a nickname?”

“Yeah, I’m from Thailand and no one actually remembers my real name, so I use this one instead.”

“Oh, that’s so interesting!” Yugyeom was amazed and started talking to BamBam nonstop, which he didn’t seem to mind, so you just talked to Chan until Yugyeom’s rant ended.

“Would you like to order?” The waiter interrupted you. He was standing next to your table for a while, but no one had noticed him.

“Yeah, sorry,” you said and turned towards him, as he was standing beside you. That was when you noticed how hot he looked and, right after everyone ordered, you turned to Chan. “I don’t know if you’re gay, straight, or anything else, but that one was hot as fuck.”

“I’m bi, and yes he was. You should ask for his number.”

“Chan, I’m not that bold.”

“Yeah, but you have nothing to lose. Look, we can send you to pay when we’re done, so you can talk to him without us there. That doesn’t involve any flirting, right?”

“Fine. Give me your money, y’all.” The other two guys turned to you in shock, but Chan promised to explain while you were gone. So, you got up and walked towards the register.

“Hi,” you told him. When he turned towards you, you deeply wished you hadn’t agreed to this. He was too handsome for you to handle.

“Ah, they sent you to pay?” He laughed.

“Yeah, they did.” You paused and contemplated if you should continue the conversation when your thoughts were interrupted.

“Um, I’m sorry if it’s weird to ask, but what’s your name.”

“I’m Y/N.”

“Ah, that’s a beautiful name. I’m Jonghyun. Do you happen to go to uni here?”

“Yeah, film major. This is my first year. What about you?”

“Me too! But I’m in the third year.” He smiled at you, but he was called to a table and had to go. “You should come by again tomorrow. I can treat you to a cup of warm coffee. My shift ends at 6.”

68 notes · View notes

etherealino · 4 years

Text

problems – lmh

synopsis: you would always have problems on minho’s girlfriends. that was until you realized you were the problem.

genre: college au. f2l. fluff, angst.

warning(s): cursing, you might cringe at how cliché this is

word count: 6,920 omg pls be proud

a/n: bullet point form. i’ll write in bullet point if i can’t seem to find it in myself to write in a whole ass paragraph form. bear with me, this is the first time im actually posting a full ass fic hdfbdfj for skz, that is. please dont let me flop thanks :<

you and minho are the very best friends

since high school

you don’t even remember how the two of you became best friends

all you remember is that one day, you’re laughing so hard at his jokes

and ever since that, you two were inseparable

whenever minho’s absent, you would be on the corner sulking

other kids would be offering you to come with them

but no you wanted minho :((

but you also didn’t want to be rude so you end up going with them

lmao you

but when you were the one who’s absent, minho would be pouting all day

he won’t talk bcs he wants you to be the one whom he tells his stupid jokes to

but he would go with the other kids too

but he would still be pouting

when you both graduated, you both went camping

went to the highest place you both know

watched the sunrise together

but now you two are in college

it’s also when minho started to go out

every month, different girl

minho would always introduce them to you

minho’s eyes would always light up as you and the girl would talk

and when she leaves

minho would ask for your opinion

but you always answered the same

“my opinion doesn’t matter, go date who you want to.”

and minho would always response the same

he pouts

you don’t know why either

but you would always just find a problem

each

and

every

girl

dates

one was kinda mean

one was possessive of minho

one eats loudly (do that in front of me and i’ll kick you to mars)

one was too snobby

one was too shy

and everytime

it’s always the girl who breaks up with him

and everytime you ask him, he would response the same

“we just don’t click” and then minho would smile

and here you are now, in jisung’s dorm

ranting on him about a girl minho is now currently dating

you sat on his computer chair as he sat on his bed

you were a bit shrunk down

arms resting on the armrest

on thumb on your teeth as you looked at the ground

“are you sure she’s the problem?” jisung asks

you looked up at him, an eyebrow raised in confusion

“who else would be? minho? minho does nothing but to please the girl. it was irritating to watch. i could slap the hell out of her.” you said

you weren’t a war freak

but with minho, you could go into war just for him

jisung chuckles. “not minho.” jisung says and then he points at you

“me?!” you said. “why me?”

jisung smiles, “how the hell do you manage to find a problem in each and every girl minho dates?” jisung asks. “i mean, so far the most stupid i’ve heard from you was the girl was too kind. seriously, y/n.”

“but it was true! she was too kind, it’s too irritating. and when you look at her do her good deeds, it doesn’t even seem sincere.” you ranted, glaring at the ground

jisung looks at you. “are you hearing yourself?”

“obviously,” you said, rolling your eyes

jisung giggles. “seriously, y/n. think about it. how the hell do you manage to find a problem on each and every single girl that minho dates?”

you sigh, looking at the ceiling

“i just want someone who would treat minho right. i want someone who deserves him.” you said

“and what kind of girl is that?” jisung asks

“the opposite of the girls he dated.” you answered, looking at him

“you?” jisung says and you just stared at him

“what are you implying?” you asked

“that you’re in love with your best friend.” jisung says

you stared at jisung, silence falling the atmosphere as jisung only smiles at you

you were unable to speak

you never thought of that

but no, you’re not in love with your best friend

you’re just shocked that jisung would assume that

the silent atmosphere was mixed with a tension

you don’t know what to say

you don’t know what to do

“HELLO, JISUNG!” hyunjin greets as he slams the door open

you blinked twice, standing up as you picked your wallet and phone from the computer desk

“oh, hi, y/n.” hyunjin greets with a grin. “what are you talking about? minho again?”

there are times when hyunjin would be with you and jisung when talking about minho

and being honest, jisung and hyunjin were the ones who you trusted the most

other than minho

but mainly about the minho fiasco

hyunjin and jisung looked at each other

jisung smiling at hyunjin and then hyunjin gets it

“oh, finally realized that you’re in love with minho?” hyunjin asked

and you grabbed a pillow from jisung’s bed, throwing it at hyunjin

“i’m not in love with minho. ew.” you said, dramtically shuddering

“deny it all you want, everyone could see it, love.” hyunjin says, winking at you

jisung laughs and you lightly punch jisung on the arm

“i’ll be going now.” you said with a sigh

“good night, y/n.” jisung says

“good night, mrs. lee—i mean, ms. y/l/n.” hyunjin teasingly said

you punched hyunjin on his arm as you past by him

he dramatically falls on his bed, clutching on his arm

“ouch!” hyunjin shrieked

“good night, boys. thank you.” you said

“anytime.” jisung says as he stands up and tackles hyunjin on the bed

you giggle lightly as you closed the door of their dorm

you turn to the direction of your dorm

and you immediately plopped into your bed since you were on your pajamas already before you left to go to jisung’s and hyunjin’s

you thought to yourself as you lay there

are you really in love with your best friend?

you shuddered at the thought and turned to your side

you see the cat plushie minho gave you on your birthday

you sigh as you hugged it

you close your eyes as jisung’s word repeated again and again in your head

“are you sure she’s the problem?”

nonetheless, you let slumber take you

for weeks you watched minho go around, pleasing the girl

you could see right through minho that he gets irritated by it

but still he faced you with a smile

you were mad

what riled you up the most is when you and minho were having lunch together and she rudely went up to minho to force him to do her homework because she has to go out tonight

i repeat, force

not ask

you see minho look at her blankly

you trust minho enough to know his self-worth

“i can’t,” minho says. “i have my own homework.”

“so? do it both.” she says and minho rolls his eyes

“i can’t. i have a lot on my plate right now.” minho calmly says and she rolls her eyes

“have a lot on your plate?” she repeats and then she turns to you. “why do you keep hanging out with her—looking time to hang out with her if you ‘have a lot on your plate’?”

“not here.” minho grits as he shakes his head

minho’s girlfriend rolls her eyes and leaves the both of you

you were stunned, but you were so irritated

you could feel minho’s eyes on you but you looked down at your food

“i swear, she used to be nice when we first started dating.” minho says, probably read through you that you were getting mad

“i’m not mad at you, don’t worry.” you said and a sigh leaves your lips

“i don’t even understand. she used to be really nice.” minho says with a sigh

“i never saw it.” you admitted and minho looks at you

“when you introduced me to her, all you did was try and please her so she wouldn’t get pissed or something. i knew it from the very start.” you said and minho nods

“why didn’t you say anything?” minho asks

“i told you, it’s your life. date who you wanna date.” you said. “you probably must’ve seen something in her that i didn’t.”

it was the first time you voiced out to minho that you have a problem with his girlfriend

should you tell him about the past ones as well?

eh, it doesn’t matter

minho nods, understanding your point of view

later that night, you crashed once again in hyunjin’s and jisung’s dorm

“just admit it, y/n.” jisung says. “you’re in love with your best friend.”

“i don’t have anything to admit because that is not how i feel.” you said and hyunjin snickers

“i never heard any other problem from but minho.” hyunjin says and you stare at him

“well, he’s my best friend.” you said with a pout

“whom you’re in love with.” jisung says and you sigh, shaking your head

then your phone dings

you look down to see minho messaged

“can we hang out? are you in your dorm?”

you immediately stood up from jisung’s computer chair

hyunjin’s and jisung’s eyes on you

but you stopped your movements

you stare at minho’s message, then towards you, particularly at nothing

“what is it, y/n?” hyunjin asks

and then another ding

“hey, where are you? i’m outside your dorm.”

most likely, it’s another breakup

you would lie to yourself when you say that you’re not tired of it anymore

you’d always run to your dorm just to see if minho’s alright

you’d always drop everything that you’re doing just for minho

even if he just woke you up at 3 in the morning

you typed a reply, hitting send as you sat back on jisung’s chair

“i’m sorry, i can’t, min. :( i’m in my friend’s dorm. she needs help with something.”

if you were being honest, you’d always drop any friend that needs your help just to go to minho

you locked your phone, putting it in silent mode as you placed it on jisung’s desk behind you

you turned to hyunjin and jisung who were curious at your sudden movements

“so how have you guys been?” you asked them

“what happened, y/n?” jisung asks

“nothing, it’s just, hyunjin’s right.” you said and hyunjin raises an eyebrow. “enough about minho, enough about me. how are you two?”

hyunjijn and jisung looked at each other with doubt in their eyes

but they thought it was good for you to take your mind off of minho, too

so, they talked

“i woke up with a big lizard on my head.” jisung answers

the next morning you found out his girlfriend broke up with minho

it was the best for minho anyway

you hung out less with minho

but you still reserved lunch for him

but that was it

but it was also very hard

when minho happens to bump into you during your vacant

the thing you hate the most is most of your vacant is his as well

you only have one vacant that didn’t much with minho’s

so, you saved those time slots for minho

vacant periods and lunch

,,,,, and weekends

it was hard to avoid minho

you don’t even know why are you avoiding minho

so here you two are

saturday night after you both went around town to forget all the stress that college gives

you and minho were laying on your bed, bodies facing each other with an arm underneath your head, same with minho

watching three stooges

minho giggles loudly at one scene

“i remembered when you and i were messing around and then suddenly your index and middle fingers were coming for my eyes. i really thought you were going to hit my eyes.” minho says with his giggles that you love so much, your heartstrings tugging

what

“i got the trick from this movie.” you informed him and minho hums

“remember when i put chili in your—“

your eyes shifted on minho, seeing him with eyes close

breathing even

he was probably tired

he was the one who asked you to go out with him

but you were the one who got excited and drag him everywhere

minho was sleeping peacefully, the tv’s dim light was enough for you to see minho’s sharp features

unconsciously, but gently your fingers ran through his features

your fingers stayed longer on his lips

then your move your hand to his hair, brushing it back, revealing his forehead

he was fucking beautiful

you wanted to appreciate him, litter kisses all over his face as you cup his cheeks on your hands

but he wasn’t yours to appreciate

wait, fuck

oh, no

you are in love with your best friend

you woke up, eyes fluttering open

how,,,

did,,,

you,,,

end,,,

up,,,

in,,,

minho’s,,,

arms ???

minho’s arm underneath your neck, your head pressed on the crook of his neck

minho’s other arm around your frame, your arm was over his torso and your legs underneath the cover were tangled with each other

only two things could be heard in this very quiet morning

(1) minho’s quiet snores

(2) your pounding heart against your ribcage

it wasn’t that you and minho never cuddled

you did, a freaking lot

but there was something in this very cuddle session

it’s probably because of the feelings that you’ve discovered last night

fuck it

you closed your eyes, snuggles further into minho’s touch

you should just drink these moments up and savor it while it lasts

because you know you’ll never have minho likes this just because you want to

because just like that, minho belongs to someone

but that someone is not you

for what felt like minutes, when in reality an hour and half passed

minho finally woke up

you immediately untangled your body from minho’s pretending you were still asleep and you just moved to the other side

you kept your eyes close as you felt minho stretch his arms and limbs

“y/n?” minho groggily calls and you feel minho’s hand on your shoulder

minho looks at you and sighs

soon, you felt minho pulling away but his head lays on the curve of your body

minho stares at the ceiling, not knowing what to do

until he hears and feels your stomach grumble

minho giggles, turning to you again

“hey, wake up.” minho says as he lightly shakes you

actually, you were just partially pretending to sleep

because you’re actually getting sleepy again

you groaned

“come on, you’re hungry.” minho says, grabbing your wrist

minho’s hand come under your waist, lifting your upper body up so you would sit

then you opened your eyes

“eeeeeeh, minhoooooooooo,” you whined, a pout finding it’s way on your lips

minho chuckles

you don’t know if you were still sleepy and it was just your imagination

or it really did happen

but you think you saw minho almost lean in to kiss your lips

“wake up or i’m throwing you.” minho says and you stick your tongue out to him

“come on, let’s get breakfast. i’ll pay.” minho says and you whine louder

minho sighs, a soft smile displaying on his lips as he sat on your bed, pulling you into his lap as he tucks your head in his neck

you frown a bit as you felt your heart pound loudly again

minho’s hand come up on your arm, running up and down

fuck feelings

you pull away from minho smiling at him as you stood up

you fixed your hair and grabbed your phone

“you go have breakfast,” you said as you opened your phone to see the time. “i remember i promise a friend i’ll help with a project around 8 in the morning and it’s now 9.”

minho pouts, but nods as he stands up

“you’re not replacing me with that friend, are you?” minho says as he lightly pinches your cheek with his index and middle finger in a teasing manner but you could see the fear in his eyes

you shook your head. “never, minho.” you said with a soft smile

minho returns the smile, believing you

so you put your phone on your desk, going inside the bathroom to brush your teeth

luckily you have an extra so minho brushes his teeth as well

yes hygiene first

after, you grabbed your phone from your desk and wallet from your bag as minho grabs his things

you both went out of your dorm as you locked it

“bye, y/n,” minho says and he kisses your forehead

that’s the first time

it was probably because of the domestic-y theme you had since you both woke up

“bye, minho,” you said and starts walking to the opposite direction as you

you started to walk but you stopped, turning around

“min?” you called and minho turns around with a smile on his face, never leaving

his smile was contagious

you love it

“you know you’re my number one.” you said, smiling as you lightly tilt your to the side

minho chuckles, grinning at the ground

“and you know you’re mine.” minho says

you grin, extending your arm, pointing your index finger at him and winked at him

minho does the same and you turn around to go to your friend

which turned out to be jisung and hyunjin

yes, you lied to minho

because frankly, as much as you want, you don’t think you’re gonna last any longer with him acting like that

you arrived in front of jisung’s and hyunjin’s dorm, you knocked loudly

you waited and for another that passed no one answered

you knocked again, this time not stopping until it opens

when the door opens, it revealed a sleepy hyunjin

eyes half closed, hair ruffle with one ponytail to keep his bangs up

“what are you doing so early in the morning?” hyunjin mumbles

jisung groans as he presses his face into the pillow

“you two wanna get breakfast with me?” you said and hyunjin looks at jisung

jisung nods and stands up

“we’ll just go get change.” hyunjin says

“eh, don’t bother.” you said. “i’m in my pj’s, too.”

“yeah, everyone walks around in their pj’s. we’re in a compound of a university, no one will judge.” jisung agrees as he goes to the bathroom to probably brush his teeth

hyunjin whines and you roll your eyes

“you still look good even though you just got out of bed, jin.” you said

“r-really?” hyunjin asks and you look at him

he shoots a wink and you flick his forehead

classic drama queen, hwang hyunjin presses a palm on his forehead as he groans in pain

“yah—jisung, have you seen that?” hyunjin says as he momentarily looks at jisung’s way

you lightly giggle

a ghost of smile on hyunjin’s lips as he turns around from you to go brush his teeth

soon, the three of you strolled around the university’s compound

settling for a vintage dinner

as you can see i really love vintage lmao

just as you expected, the customers were students that are in their pj’s as well

you settled in one booth, hyunjin beside you and jisung across you

you all ordered and soon the food was on your table

“so, how’s the date with the boyfriend?” jisung asks in a teasing manner

“it was not a date and he is most certainly not my boyfriend.” you answered and pouted

“what’s with the pout?” hyunjin asks and your eyes remain on your lap

“you guys were right.” you mumbled

“with?”

“i’m in love with him.” you mumbled and you looked up at the two boys who just stared at each other

pretty soon jisung is sliding a cash towards hyunjin

“what’s that?” you asked

“i won,” hyunjin grins and jisung rolls his eyes

“with?” you asked

“we had a bet about you,” jisung says

“about?”

“how long will it take for you to admit it.” hyunjin answers

and you looked at them back and forth

“you made a bet about me?!” you exclaimed

and they both snort

“that’s okay,” hyunjin says

“you make bets about me, too.” jisung says

“and me.” hyunjin adds

you looked at them in disgust, jokingly

“so, tell us what happened.” jisung says

and so you did

everything that happened from last night up to earlier this morning

they both listened attentively

“he feels the same way.” hyunjin says after you told them the whole story

jisung nods, agreeing

“don’t be silly.” you said

“there are times when i see you with minho but you two seemed to be enjoying with just the two of you that’s why i never greet you when you’re with him.” jisung says

“shut up, we’re just really that close.” you said

“when you two are talking and then you both start to laugh, minho randomly grabbing your hand and lightly tugging at it excitedly?” hyunjin points out

“holding your hand when walking together?” jisung points out

“randomly hugging you out of nowhere as if he never saw you for thousands of years?”

“having his arm around you when crossing the road?”

“he never gets tired of you, too.”

“he’s also really clingy of you.”

“well, i’m clingy, too!” you defended

“but he can never stay away from you.” jisung says. “stop denying it, y/n.”

“but why is he dating other girls?” you asked

“that’s what you need to find out.” hyunjin says. “confront him before it’s late again.”

ever since hyunjin and jisung pointed things out

you realized, minho really is touchy towards you

but it wasn’t the kind where you get uncomfortable

it’s the kind where it makes you feel safe

but it always left you wanting for more

he wasn’t even like that with his girlfriends

just with you

for months, it went like that

minho didn’t introduce you to any girl for 3 months

you’re surprised yourself, but you know it’s not going to last long

and you know that when the time comes, it’s going to hurt this time

“hey, you okay?” the boy in your thoughts coming to life as he takes the seat across you

you only stared at him, cheek on palm, arm supporting your head, elbow on the table

so minho mimics you

you sigh and minho pouts

“hey,” minho says, reaching a hand out to your elbow. “you okay?”

you nod, dropping your hand to the table and minho is quick to catch it

he massages your hand and you smile at him

“what is it?” minho asks, his voice full of concern but still it makes you feel safe

“nothing, they just gave a lot of homework and it pissed me off.” you lied with a giggle

minho smiles, nodding

“i can help you if you want.” minho offers as he puts your hand softly on the table

“it’s okay,” you said. “the deadline is not even tomorrow.”

minho nods and you both let the comfortable silence take you in

you were lost in thought once more about the boy in front of you

you suddenly flinched when a cat jumped beside you

but you relaxed soon, patting the soft head of the feline

minho smiles at you as you got entertained with the feline

then you suddenly looked up, seeing hyunjin

you suddenly raised your other hand to wave at him with a grin on your face

hyunjin waves lightly, shooting you a wink as he gestured towards minho

you stuck your tongue out to him and he puckers his lips lightly as he giggles to himself

you smile as you watched hyunjin turn his back to you and walk to where he’s supposed to

“who was he?” minho asks, but you failed to notice the reluctance in his tone to ask

“hyunjin.” you answered as you kept on petting the feline

“hwang hyunjin?” minho asks and you nod. “you two seem close.”

“we are!” you said with a smile, but your focus is still on the cat

“how?”

“he’s my friend’s roommate.” you answered. “you know, my friend jisung?”

“oh.” minho says

you failed to notice how minho’s smile immediately wipe out of his face when you waved enthusiastically at hyunjin

when minho saw hyunjin wink at you

minho was just :|

was hyunjin flirting with you? minho could only sigh as he looks down, lost in his thoughts

you knew there was something wrong with minho

he wasn’t as teasing anymore

he isn’t as smiley as he was

he isn’t as jokeful as he was

it felt like he was a whole new person

even though he never stopped hanging out with you, it felt like he wasn’t really hanging out with you

for a week, it felt like you were hanging with someone else and not minho

you just didn’t want to pry him into telling you with what’s happening

so you let him be for now

but after two days, you just can’t function properly without minho

by lunch, you immediately went straight to the cafeteria

you see minho in your usual seat

you were walking up to him

but you halted when you see a girl slid in on the seat you would always sit on

minho’s eyes lit up, smile wide as he looks at the girl

just great

hurt

bad

did minho purposely avoid you and have dated another girl without telling you?

he would always tell you about it even if they’re just a minute into the relationship

why was minho even avoiding you?

“y/n!” someone called and you turned around

with the call of your name, minho’s attention was grabbed

his eyes immediately were on you and the guy who called you

you looked down, as you looked at the books that your arms were hugging

you looked up to see hyunjin who had a wide smile

but it was immediately wiped out

“why-why are you crying?” hyunjin stutters and you immediately have a hand reaching to the corner of your eye

you were crying

hyunjin’s gaze shifted on what you were possibly looking at

then, he locks eyes with minho

hyunjin sees the girl who confusedly looked at minho and then follows minho’s gaze

hyunjin immediately grabs your books and grabs your wrist, dragging you somewhere

you see hyunjin heading for the dorms

and soon enough, hyunjin was opening the door of their dorm

hyunjin put your books on his bed, taking his phone out immediately to text jisung

after 15 minutes max, jisung enters the dorm and was quick to see you on his computer chair

“what happened?” jisung asks

“i just saw y/n crying and then when i looked at where she was looking before i came, i saw minho with another girl.” hyunjin explains

“i’ve anticipated it and prepared myself for it, but it just hurts so bad.” you said as you looked away from your friends

hyunjin and jisung slowly comes to you

“i was so confused when he became distant the week before, i was gonna go to him when i saw her sit with him.” you continued and they looked at you with sympathy

you pouted, tears streaming down your face as you think of minho with that girl

“l-let’s go out,” jisung stutters, not sure if it’s a great idea. “we don’t have classes anymore, do we?”

you and hyunjin shook your heads

“let’s take minho off that pretty mind of yours.”

it…

was..

the..

worst..

everything

and i mean, everything reminded you of minho

everything that you two used to do

the arcade

you and minho would always play rock paper scissors on who would pay

the movie theater

you and minho would always go to it, but one of you would always end up sleeping

the samgyupsal places

you and minho have eaten in each and every samgyupsal place in town already

the ktv

every song that hyunjin and jisung selected were the songs minho would always yell sing his heart out to

hyunjin and jisung came into conclusion that going out was: useless

you, hyunjin and jisung were walking back to the dorms

when you passed by a convenient store

“hey,” you weakly said and they both looked at you

“you wanna grab some soju?” you asked them

it’s a saturday tomorrow anyway

,,,,,there’s no minho that would hang out with you

the thought of it makes you wanna curl up in a ball

right here, right now

hyunjin and jisung nods

and the three of you enter the convenient store to buy bottles of soju

luckily, you were bringing a large ass bag

so you were able to hide it as you entered the university

you said you would just go to your dorm to change into your pajamas

jisung offered to go with you

so you both went to your dorm

you changed into your pj’s and an oversized shirt

,,,,,which was minho’s

but jisung and hyunjin didn’t have to know that :)

you grabbed the cat plushie on your bed and jisung offers to bring the bag of soju

you both went to their dorm

then you waited for hyunjin and jisung as they changed into their own pj’s

they got some snacks

and then you three had finally had the first shot of the night, bumping your shot glasses with each other’s

you three talked about the most random things

a shot became two, then became three, then finally you don’t even remember anymore

you, hyunjin and jisung fell asleep on the floor

you woke up with your head pounding, a knocking on the door making it worse

you, hyunjin and jisung were on the floor, circling around the bottles of soju

one arm was hugging your cat plushie

other arm was extended with your hand holding your phone

then the knocking started again

you winced, the pounding of your head getting worse than ever

jisung and hyunjin groaning

hyunjin rolled underneath his bed while jisung grabbed the pillow under his head and covered his head with it, trying to block the noise

you stood up, eyes squinting as you dropped your phone and plushie on the ground

you walked up to the door

your hand reached to the door knob, unlocking it and opening the door

minho was standing on the other side and before you could even process it was him, you were turning around to walk to hyunjin’s bed, thinking it was just jisung’s and hyunjin’s friend

you turn your head back as you realized it was minho

then you turned to him full body

“minho,” you mumbled. “what are you doing here?”

“we need to talk.” minho says.

“about?” you mumbled as you leaned on the door, hands playing with the doorknob

if only you and minho weren’t on a serious situation right now, he most definitely thinks that you’re cute

“the message you sent me.” minho answers and your eyebrows scrunch in confusion

you looked at your friends and then back to minho

wait, oh no

“jisung, hyunjin,” you called and the two giggled in a drunk way. “i’m giving the two of you an advice and that is, never fall in love.”

“does it hurt?” hyunjin says as he rests his head on your lap

“it does!” you giggled and jisung pouts at you as he pats your head as if you’re a dog

“i’m thinking,” jisung says

“that’s not good,” hyunjin teases as he gets off of your lap and you giggle

“the three of us should get a shared house, then y/n wouldn’t have to go back and forth to her dorm and ours.” jisung says and you clap, nodding

“yes! yes! let’s just stay together.” you said

“but you would leave your best friend all alone!” hyunjin says with a pout on his lips. “minho, right? yeah! at least say goodbye to him.”

“are we moving tomorrow already?” you asked and hyunjin shrugs, giggling

“let’s!” jisung says. “go say goodbye to minho, y/n!”

“okay!” you said

“pour everything! tell him how you feel and all.” hyunjin giggles and you grab your phone, stumbling over a bit

you dialed minho’s never that even despite you were inebriated, you still memorize it

you lay on your back, hugging the cat plushie on your arm

other hand is pressing the phone against your ear

you scoffed, “voicemail.”

“minho! my best friend. i just called to say that i will be moving tomorrow with my friends, jisung and hyunjin! it would be rude if i don’t say goodbye to my best friend which is you!” you giggled

even a dumb person would know that you’re drunk

“but i would like to confess, too. i am so in love with you. it hurts so bad to see you with that girl earlier today. i would always tell you that my opinion doesn’t matter, go date who you want, but honestly, i never, ever liked any single girl you’ve went out with.

“one is too rude, the other too possessive, the other one was too kind, the other one did nothing but still, i don’t like her! i didn’t even know why. that was until jisung and hyunjin told me that i am in love with you.

“i denied it at first, but when we were watching three stooges and you fell asleep, my heart beat so loud, i thought you were going to wake up on how loud it was. i realized then that i was in love with you from the very start.

“you know, if only you asked me out a long time ago, you probably wouldn’t have gone through lots of heartbreaks as you did. i would’ve tried to be the perfect girlfriend for you. i would never do anything to hurt you, you know. your last girlfriend was too rude. it was honestly irritating to watch you go around and please her.

“don’t feel guilty, though. you’re still my best friend, but i have to keep my distance from you for now.” by now, tears were streaming down your face. a soft sob left your lips and you clamped your hand over your mouth as you sob

“i’m so in love with you.” you continued. “but i’ll try to be over it as soon as possible. i hope your new girl treat you well. remember, you’re my number one, always.

“good night, minho.” you said and ended your voicemail.

you cuddled with your plushie and hid your face on it as tears streamed down

you feel jisung patting your head and hyunjin on your legs

you clamped your hand over your mouth, pushing the door, slamming it on minho’s face as you remembered everything last night

you sigh, putting your hands over your face

fuck, fuck, fuck, you fucked up big time

jisung and hyunjin groaned loudly but you didn’t care right now

“y/n, please, we have to talk.” minho says and you turn your back on the door, leaning against it

your hands on your face, frustrated as you don’t know what to do

“how’d you know i was here?” you asked

“i went to your dorm, but when you weren’t answering, i used the spare key you gave me and you weren’t there and i came here only to ask them where you are, but here you are.” minho answered

you feel like crying again

how could you be so stupid?

“minho, please, go away.” you said

“no, let’s talk about this. we have to talk about this.” minho says

“i don’t want to.” you said

“i’m not going away, y/n.” minho says

you pull your hands away to see jisung looking at you

“who is it?” jisung asks as he stands up

“minho,” you said and jisung walks up to you, grabbing your shoulders and rubbing them comfortingly

“y/n, please, let’s talk.” minho says and frankly, you could hear the desperation in his tone

“not now, please.” you said and minho sighs

“please?” minho mumbles

you shook your head, looking up at jisung

jisung’s eyes screams that you need to talk to him

“y/n, you have to.” jisung says

“but i don’t want to.”

“running away is not going to fix this.” jisung says as he grabs your shoulder, pulling you forward as he opens the door

he shoots minho a smile, which minho gratefully returns

“jisung, please,” you said

“y/n, talk to him.” jisung says and you shake your head. “he’s your best friend, what could go wrong?”

everything. minho could dump you and throw your whole friendship away

as if reading your mind, jisung says, “you’re important to him, he won’t throw your friendship out of the window just like that. okay? do what you should’ve done a long time ago. talk to him.” jisung says

your shoulders slump, giving up as jisung lets go of your shoulders

jisung pushes you gently of the door and smiles at you

he closes the door and you look at the ground

then, you felt minho turning you around to face him

he wraps you in his arms, placing your head on his neck

“i could never do that, you know.” minho mumbles and you just let him be

you didn’t move, you didn’t speak

you wanted him to go first

“you’re an idiot, y’know?” minho mumbles and you sigh, nodding. “she’s not my girlfriend, dummy.” minho says. “i don’t even know who she is, she was just asking if she could share the table and i agreed, i don’t want to be rude.”

“then why were you so distant these days?” you mumbled

minho pulls away and looks at you

“wanna know the real reason of my breakups?” minho asks and you sighed, nodding. “they kept on making me choose between them and you, naturally, i would’ve picked you.”

you looked down. “you know, if you really genuinely liked them, you could’ve just picked them and talk to me, i would’ve understood, y’know.” you mumbled

“listen,” minho says with a light laugh, cupping your cheeks as he made you look up at him. “the recent one hit me the most, though.”

“why?”

“she told me to stop dating everyone if my heart belongs to you.” minho says and you looked at him in pure confusion. “it won’t click if i keep on forcing myself to like someone else knowing it was you all along.

“for years, i kept on dropping hints that i’ve liked you for so long until it became deeper. but you didn’t seem to notice, so i started to date other girls because you only see me as a best friend and nothing more.

“but i was stupid, too. i thought you and hyunjin were flirting with each other and i got jealous that’s why i got distant.”

stupid minho, stupid you

equally stupid

“i’m sorry for hurting you all this time, y/n.” minho says and you look into his eyes as he looks into yours. “give me a chance and i promise i will never ever hurt you.”

“i’m sorry, too,” you said. “for being stupid.”

“that’s okay, i was, too.” minho says as he lightly laughs

you wrap your arms around his waist and minho kisses your forehead.

“so, what do you say?” minho asks. “will you be my girlfriend or should we go through another phase of denying our feelings?”

you giggle, looking down as a blush crept through your cheeks

“i think the best option is the first one.” you said as you look up at him and smile

minho looks at you as he places his hand on the your lower back

“can’t resist your number one, can’t you?” minho says teasingly as he looks at you with a smile

he shoots you a wink and you chuckle

“you really don’t know how wink, do you?” you teased and minho rolls his eyes

“can we please focus on more important things like me flirting with you?” minho asks and you laughed

“get to the part where you ask me if you can kiss me!” you said with a giggle and minho tries his best not to laugh, but he still grins at you widely

“well, can i kiss you?” minho asks and you nod

“by all means, go.” you said and minho leans in

you stare into his eyes as he gets closer

when he was an inch close, he pulls away

“are you sure?” minho asks, teasing you

“yes, now hurry up!” you said with a frown

minho leans in again, when your breath mingles

“are you really sure about this?” minho whispers

“more than anything,” you whispered back as you place a peck on his lips

minho smiles, looking at your lips as he dives in for a breathtaking kiss that you’ve been waiting to have

you pulled away lightly, your lips still brushing against his

but minho whines

you chuckle and minho takes the reins, not being able to take your teasing

minho kisses you on the lips, smiling against your lips as you do to

and soon, you two are grinning, making it hard to kiss

you look into minho’s eyes, smiling

“you really do hold the universe in your eyes.” you say as you have hand running up and down soothingly on minho’s back

“that’s your reflection, babe.”

omg, i hope that wasn’t so bad i was so scared to post this. thank you for reading, i hope you like it :(( uwu <3

576 notes · View notes

shinahbee · 4 years

Text

January Favorites 2021!

GREETINGS

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February 06. 2021

Hello,

I actually wrote a lot for this month, perfect way to start off the new year! I have been catching up and watching some dramas and some of the new anime this season, which i’ll discuss a few down below. I’m just realizing that the manhwa recommendations list is growing very long and it reading those titles that i have discussed made me reminisce on some of them and most of which I would re read again. I tried to read some shoujo manga again and thought the stories were shit, so i don’t think i’ll ever go back. I’m thinking of starting some shoujo manhwa’s because I have a few titles that seemed like they might have an interesting plot line. I’ll list in in my favorites if I do end up reading those, but so far i’m still filtering the BL titles .lol.

I’m just going to put this out there now before you read the “Hell segment” I mentioned a few titles that were popular that i dropped and I listed the reasons why i dropped it, they are popular for a reason and if you like that and don’t take the plot line too seriously then that’s on you, but i don’t like the subject matter being glorified rather than “lesson learned” if you know what i’m saying so take my comments down there with a grain of salt...it’s just how i read it and interpreted the subject matter, it has nothing to do with the creator and their thoughts. This is going to apply to all of my reviews, they are just my opinions only so don't take what i say seriously if it you are offended that i happen to diss your favorite manga.

Anyways, i have no music recommendations this month all i have been listening to is podcasts, so listening to people talk about nothing.lol. That’s what my life has come to...

If you would like I can share a few that I have been listening to, let me know.

Alright, you all have a lot to read to i’ll just end here.

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MANHWA/MANGA/WEBTOONS

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Recap:

Whose baby is it? (ongoing)

Social temperature (ongoing)

Salad days (ongoing)

To be or not to be (ongoing)

Path to you (completed)

Here u are (completed)

BJ alex (completed)

No way, vampires don't exist (ongoing)

Unintentional love story (ongoing)

Karasugoka don’t be shy! (Completed)

Semantic Error (ongoing)

Tied up in Twins (Completed)

My Suha (ongoing)

Crash into me (Completed)

Dine with a vampire (ongoing)

So crash into you is now finished and you can now read the entire thing, so happy it ended really well and of course if you have seen my last favorites journal I made and entire post dedicated to this manhwa. The story is really heart breaking and definitely deals with more adult and mature content and it really is disturbing in some parts, so viewer discretion is advised.

That’s all i have to announce as an update, the rest is still ongoing. This month I came up with certain themes for my hell segment, last month I started with some manhwa that all had a common theme of Scum antagonists that you will run into when reading these manhwa, some of which ranges from mild inconvenience to this piece of shit should be set on fire. If you have not read that please check it out and watch me rant about stupid people.

This week featured another theme that you will run into reading shounen ai/ yaoi manhwa and manga, it’s a very universal theme of “threesomes”...I don’t get it, I don’t get why people think that’s okay to have three dicks in a room...i’m like there’s three dicks here, that’s way too many..lol. to each their own I guess, but i’ve selected three to talk about that also deals with mature themes and a bunch of people making poor decisions.

But before that, let’s talk about the normal shounen ai manhwa/manga that I have to recommend this month.

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Welcome to heaven

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1) Inner Beauty:

“Minjae’s been dumped. Fed up with their long distance relationship, his actress girlfriend Hye-Eun left him while he was “finding himself” in Australia. When Minjae rushes home and runs into Hye-Eun and her gorgeous new man, Woochan, at the airport, drama ensues. Amidst the chaos, the two love rivals bang heads. Upon waking, they discover they’ve changed bodies! Why have they switched? How will they cope? Will they ever be able to go back? Find out as Minjae and Woochan embark on a journey that takes “self-discovery” to a whole new level!”

Firstly this reminded me of the k-drama secret garden, if you have seen it you know that the main protagonists switched bodies at some point and with this manhwa, it happens in the first chapter. I liked how the relationship between the two boys started with minjae’s girlfriend leaving him for another man woochan, and after minjae and woochan switched bodies because he wanted to give the girlfriend a necklace as a gift , he switched bodies with woochan after bumping into him. They went to a shaman to seek out various ways to get back into their bodies while they find out things about each other that they were not aware of, in the end minjae and woochan were drawn to each other. The necklace is a tribal ornament that has a mysterious power to show a person’s past through their dreams. It seems that the reason why their bodies keep switching was because there was another necklace that was similar that was supposed to be it's partner; they go a try to search for the mysterious phenomenon surrounding the necklace that leads to their relationships with other people changing.

my favorite part of this story is that woochan and his father didn't get along very well because of a misunderstanding, while other parents didn't admit to their mistakes, woochan's father wanted to do so and repair his relationship with woochan, which made the story more compelling. Theres so many manga plot lines whee the parent is abusive and harsh and never did they think it was thier fault, but in this story woochan's father mans up to the things he did and how it affected woochan and i'm really happy about that.

Another thing I like about this story is the end where woochan who was an actor turned director made a film about his and minjae’s relationship because he wanted their story to be remembered and inspire other relationships that were similar to their own to overcome their hardships. This story has so much meaning and it’s something I would recommend to anyone who just likes a good story.

2) False Memories (lee gpiee):

” Wan’s got a face that scares everyone away before he can really become friends with anyone. So when Ha-woon befriends Wan on his first day at his new school, Wan is elated. Ha-woon must be an angel! It doesn’t take long, though, for Ha-woon to betray him in a terrible way, and Wan discovers Ha-woon might be more devil than angel. But then an accident happens that gives Wan a second chance at friendship with his angel. And it all starts with one big, fat lie.”

This one is really interesting, it is about a boy named wan and he was the new transfer student at a new school and how despite how he looks he wanted make friends this time around. Hawoon met wan when he was climbed off of a tree and fell on him, he immediately took a liking to him and befriended him, being very grateful to have finally met a friend he wanted to be a very likable person to hawoon, but then it was discovered that hawoon had many secrets and is not the kind person he is portrayed to be. There was an incident where one of his followers was spying on him and he wanted wan to essentially beat that person up in front of his other gang members. Obviously wan didn’t want that and this caused some strife between the two of them and wan began to be bullied by hawoon and his gang members. Later hawoon was trying to escape from his brother who went to his apartment to look for him and ran into wan who hides him over night, things tooka turn for the worse when hawoon thinks wan is being really nosy about his business and pushes him away and that is when the guy who hawoon wanted to beat up his him on the head and hawoon woke up with amnesia. Being the only person who had witnessed that, wan brought hawoon back to his place, when hawoon woke up with no previous memories of wan he lied to him claiming to be his best friend and the tow of them started to pursue this new friendship, of course things don’t last forever and the both of them discovered that hawoon in fact had many secrets that he preferred to keep under wraps especially about his family.

I know a lot of comments have said that it was stupid to lie to him about being friends but I understand that it was wan’s way to know the real hawoon. Hawoon’s personality was built by the lack of trust he has received from people and he was never able to open up to a person about anything. I really liked how the incident ended up saving their relationship in the end and they have a lot of cute moments together while going from being friends to being in love with each other. This is a very wholesome story and if you like that plot you will like this story, it really is not complicated.

3) Hand in Hand:

“While running a small pharmacy in the outskirts of the city, Sam meets a mysterious and out of place patient. This man named noah who was covered in bruises every time he had stopped by the pharmacy, Sam noticed that he seems to be in worse shape every time they meet and became curious as to why that might be, one day he saw noah getting into a shady van with a bunch of people and discovered that this town had a secret that kept everyone involved very secretive. Noah who was discovered to be a part of that society still goes and sees sam in order to be close to him, sam was then reeled into his world and became part of that society that was kept hidden.”

Sorry I had to write that summary on my own cause I could not find a good summary, so basically the pharmacy was inherited by Sam when his father passed away in this small town, there was no one to take over for him so Sam had to give up his dream of staying away from this town to moving back to take over the family business, There one night upon closing he meets a man covered in bruises while coming in to buy some alcohol and cigarettes, he treated him because it looked painful and was curious about him,

This curiosity escalated when he saw him get into a van with a bunch of ugly dudes, the pharmacy assistant said that there were gangs running around and it was best to avoid these people. Sam made the assumption that it was these men that were beating that man up and decided to pull him away from them. Noah then introduced himself to sam as they walk back to noahs apartment and he showed some interest in sam and asked what he wanted as payment for his treatment, Sam of course didn’t want anything which made noah surprised, but relayed to him that the offer still stands when he feel like telling him.

Not only being curious that noah shows up in front of him each time with more bruises but the fact that he may have discovered the town had a secret.

It was in fact an underground gambling scene that caused a lot of people to be very irritable, noah was involved in this and called it “work” as he had a debt to pay back to the person that took him in. Sam didn’t want to be involved but because of his interest in noah the two of them became romantically involved upon a few meetings and Sam started to develop feelings for him and likewise noah was in love with Sam. I’m not going to spoil the end because it was really intense, if you like mysterious plot points to your story this one will do the trick, it will keep you guessing as to what will happen next.

4) Stanning 101:

“Ji-Yul Park is an ordinary office worker who spends his spare time stanning a boy group, unlock and more specifically it’s leader, Jay.One day, he time travels back to his past where he encounters Juno, another idol and becomes his manager.What happenes when Juno develops feelings for Ji-Yul? Would Ji-Yul choose loyalty with Juno or his fanboy fantasy with Jay? And what is the purpose for Ji-Yul traveling back to the past-what is he supposed to repair or change?”

I’m not going to lie this title...don’t let it fool you, I thought this was going to be a satire on the whole K-pop fandom and just a story poking fun at k-pop fans...but boy was I fooled..LOL. This summary doesn’t even begin to describe how deep this story goes.

So as the summary says it’s about a fan named ji yul who is a stan of a group called “unlock” and his favorite member Jay was going to leave for military service and he was really bummed about not being able to see him for a while, so he went out drinking with his friends who share the same interest and cried his eyes out wishing that he could go back to the time when jay and his group first debuted.

And of course....that happened some how he was enabled into a time skip backwards to when the group first debuted. He first met up with a roommate that he was going to be sharing a room with, this was none other than juno a trainee a small company, Juno was a sensation later on in history and he was a rival of the unlock, and of course being a stand of jay he didn’t like the idea of being around juno. Upon meeting ji yul was already drunk and the next morning found juno and him had slept on the same bed, this made things between them awkward. But upon a series of events he became juno’s manager and inevitably began to understand the person juno is and how hard he worked, as well as his ties with jay. While trying to figure out what was the reason for the time skip he met another person who was sent back to the same time for a different reason his name was suho, and suho was here for another person named rose who was a in a different group. Rose is a sunbae of Juno’s and the two of them are acquainted, But there was something about Rose that was alluring and that made his “ sponsors” want to see him all the time, this lead to a lot of conflict within his group, saying that he’s the kind of person who would sleep around with anyone that has money.

Suho was a fan of rose and the reason he came back was because in his time he had found out that Rose had committed suicide, now....this is a topic that i feel very strongly about as you may know if you listen to k-pop news there are certain group members from famous groups that have committed suicide as of late, a lot of which was diagnosis of depression,

This story deals with not only suho having had gone through depression and suicide attempts but Rose who was going through that as well, Suho wanted to make sure rose stays alive, so when he was able to meet him he did all he can to be beside him and get him away from these sponsors that clearly only want one thing from him. This had made rose and suho close enough to develop romantic feelings towards each other, it gave rose the courage to confront the ceo from the company. In the end the company ceo was being a dick and tried to force rose to sleep with these people in order to get chances to be on screen and promote their group. One of their members knew from the start what rose had to go through and after rose was being hunted down by the ceo after disappearing, the member took footage from the ceo of all the nasty things he made rose do and gave it to Suho? I don’t remember this part well, but suho somehow go the usb footage and saw that rose had been sexually abused and assaulted by those men. Rose had went to see suho at the time and saw that he found the footage, at that moment he wanted to jump off the railings because he felt ashamed, but suho explained that it was rose’s music that saved him from doing the same thing he tried to do which was of course suicide.

Needless to say, at least in this story suho’s love for rose was able to keep him alive and as soon as suho w able to convey that he had disappeared and asked rose to find him in the future. I chose to write about Suho’s story because I just want to put it out there that suicide and depression are real struggles and to please seek help as soon as you can. Back to ji yul and juno, they in fact had developed feelings for each other and ji yul was sent back because he was in car accident with juno and in the both of them lost their memory of each other that was why ji yul only remembered Jay and being a fan of unlock while not remembering the times he shared with juno and how much he loved him. This made. He was able to tell juno after some time that he is in fact from the future and the both of them tried different ways to preserve the time that they had before ji yul would be sent back. Ji yul tried to defy fate but it turns out the accident happened to juno being in the car without having him there, meaning things will still take its course and you can cheat fate. So ji yul grabbed juno who was still unconscious and put him into the passenger’s seat and said his goodbyes to him, wishing for them to meet again even though knowing that it could be impossible for them to be together in the future he drove into the upcoming traffic. Ji yul woke up again back in the time he belonged the only thing he can remember was seeing juno’s picture in front of him and tears leaving his eyes.

Omg this is a k-drama all in one package, this is where i’ll stop because the manhwa is not finished, so if you liked my summary of it so far please read the actual thing, you will not be disappointed, I promise you.

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Welcome to hell

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I don’t know how to begin this segment after writing all of that for the heaven’s segment, those stories were just so good compared to the trash that i’m about to share here. But most of the trashiest stories have more complex plot points than normal stories. I mean you need to go through hell to come out the other side right?

*warning* this section talks about mature content! 18+ only, read at your own risk!

Let’s begin then.

1) Private lessons:

“Hajoon has been crushing on Eun-woo ever since they started college together, but he hasn’t had any opportunities to get close with him. At least they have a class together this semester: a lecture taught by the popular Professor Seo Joohyuk. Hours after the first class, Hajoon remembers he left his assignments in the classroom. Upon reaching the lecture hall, he becomes witness and accomplice to a series of private lessons Joo-hyuk is giving Eun-woo—lessons that unleash his own deepest, riskiest desires.”

I’m starting off strong ...oh where to begin? This story has so many messed up characters, I’d have to say all three of them are messed up. Firstly I don’t care if your professor looks like a dilf (urban dictionary if you don’t know what it means) you should never get involved with them. Lol. And I don’t know what school you people go to to have professors that look like this...all of mine were crusty old men who were mean and arrogant.

I makes me sick to think that there are some older men that would take advantage of people like the way Joohyuk did with Eunwoo and Hajoon. Hajoon just wanted to get Eunwoo’s attention, but because of joohyuk, he took “notice me senpai” to the next level. but I guess i understand from hajoon’s point of view that if he does nothing, he will never be change his relationship, so if he liked him then getting involve would be a way in. Eunwoo was so enthralled with joohyuk that he would just be a sex partner knowing that he would never have potential feelings for him in the end. I did feel sorry for him at first but then there was this part in the story where they were all preparing for this festival thing and he and hajoon were in a group and had to be waiters for the night of the festival, this was when eunwoo started to somewhat show interest in hajoon. Then that fricken dilf was like “you’re doing things on your own and i’m going to show you why you shouldn’t defy me...” or something like that, asserting dominance saying that eunwoo would always choose me over you to hajoon, and indeed on the night of the festival when he was supposed to work, shit went down between hajoon and this senior and fight broke out while hajoon was defending eunwoo , only later to find out that eunwoo was screwing the dilf in his office while all this was going on, I think i felt my veins snap...this idiot had the audacity to f around with that dilf while hajoon was working his ass off and even defended him. Smh....anyways in the end Eunwoo fell in love with hajoon and gave up on his feelings over joohyuk, knowing that joohyuk will always look at his other partner seojin. So in the end it worked out, but this whole story is a dumpster fire of trash.

So moral of this story is don’t get involved with dilfs, don't simp for them...lol. Just don’t do it. I don’t recommend this story for the content but if you are into trash and BDSM, then maybe this is the one for you.

2) Behind the scenes:

“Korea’s hunkiest top model Woo Taeyoung has decided to try his hand at acting once more. No more of those teen heartthrob roles, Taeyoung has his eyes set on a much more…mature role. And when he finds out his idol, the dreamy Koo Min-ki, is set to be one of the main actors of the film, he is even more determined to get the role as his co-star. The two seem to have a natural chemistry with each other…both on and off screen. Will this end up helping their performances? Or will it cause their worlds to come crashing down?”

This story is a also a dumpster fire of flaming garbage, it starts off with a model turned actor named taeyoung who works mainly as a model but is secretly a fan boy of another famous actor named minki and he went to his fan signing in disguise, only to be discovered by the fans and cause a racket and minki ended up injuring himself. This caused taeyoung to be able to meet minki in the most embarrassing way, but he wanted to make it up to him by helping him until his injury was recovered. One night minki was driven home by taeyoung and they ran into another popular actor named wonho...(monsta x..lol. i’m so kidding don't kill me...) and this dude saw minki coming out of taeyoung’s car and immediately became violent...

there it is red flag!

Turns out wonho was minks boyfriend, taeyoung only knew that his favorite actor minki was in a 10 year long relationship with his girlfriend, says the media, but he didn’t know that it was a man...and this violent piece of shit at that. Taeyoung had heard rumors of wonho being excessively violent to anyone who comes near minki and anyone who has worked with him always was threatened by wonho. So even though taeyoung reluctantly left minki with wonho he still was really worried, rightfully so.

Wonho is the worst kind of garbage out there; even being in a relationship he still forced minki into having sex with him. This is rape, even if you are in a relationship it means the same thing it’s non consensual and disgusting. Not only this but being violent to everyone that is near minki, is enough for anyone to end this relationship. But minki was that idiot who believed that the old wonho he once knew would come back one day and so this ongoing relationship abuse lasted for a long time. Taeyoung of course got an opportunity to make his acting debut, and auditioned for the of minki’s character’s lover, it was the first queer film in production so to the director it was a passion project that he wanted to see succeed. He passed the audition and showed his potential and chemistry with minki on screen very well, so the director was happy casting him in the role. But of course guess who finds out and showed up on the film set...wonho. He obviously made minki uncomfortable and also taeyoung, but in series of events taeyoung went to the bathroom and found wonho and minki making out inside and realized the person he admired was gay and was in a relationship with wonho for a long time. Later on he got to know minki more and found that he had romantic feelings towards him rather than just admiration. Because minki and wonho’s relationship was abusive minki was contemplating on ending it but didn’t have the courage to, it was taeyoung who showed genuine feelings for minki that was able to push minki to move forward. So while this was going on, wonho was in fact being sponsored by a certain person in order to get roles in his acting career, this person was taeyoung’s cousin...yeah i know messed up,. This dude is very toxic and made things go wrong between wonho and minki and that’s how their relationship went downhill for 10 years. Anyways to sum it all up a lot of stuff went down and wonho’s actions were no longer acceptable and as soon as minki found out this ongoing sexual relationship between wonho and taeyoung’s cousin, he broke it off with him finally and moved around different places for a while since wonho would not leave his apartment he couldn’t go back. Taeyoung and minki ended up dating each other now and he succeeded as a model turned actor with this role. Wonho after a series of events was able to let minki go after seeing him one last time and apologizing for everything he’s done to him. The movie was very successful and won many awards and the ending of the series just showed taeyoung and minki talking about their relationship on screen and off screen to the viewers...hence the title “behind the scenes”

Okay this trash made me angry and sad at the same time since it talked about a relationship that has gone bad and two people refusing to leave it since they have been together for a long time. You know when you should end things and if a person starts to change there is no way for them to be the same again. So all in all this story is really good for depicting all sorts of relationship issues and drama. I would say yes give this read because the story itself says a lot about the writer and how they think. This is one of those stories the pull you into the depths of hell and once you resurface your see things in a different perspective.

3) Turn off the camera:

“Yeon Jihoon is the leader of an idol group that’s hit a dead-end in their career. Now, he’s received a golden opportunity to save his group: a spot on the year’s most anticipated reality show, where he’ll spend two weeks living and filming with top stars Do Yoojin and Seon Yohan. The one threat to the show’s success? Yoojin and Yohan won’t stop having sex with each other. To stop a scandal from tanking the show and his career, Jihoon must keep his co-stars’ antics hidden from the cameras at all costs. Will Jihoon be able to keep these steamy shenanigans a secret for two weeks? And will he survive when both of his co-stars turn their attention on him?”

This is some straight up kinky garbage, like the description says, jihoon got the opportunity to promote his group by becoming a member in an upcoming reality show with two popular actors, the show is a reality show of the three of them living together doing daily activities while cameras are installed in their home. You can see where this is going right? When jihoon first arrived into the house to greet the other two actors; yoojin and yohan and he found the two of them in a room having doing sexual acts and even tried to cover for them when the camera crew arrived up stairs in the room.

After several attempts of the other two actors having sex at different points in time jihoon became very aware of the fact that they were doing this for the fun of not being able to get caught having sex on camera. So basically this was like a fun game to the two actors.

Yoojin and yohan were caught the third time by jihoon while having sex on the kitchen table and so the three of them had a discussion and jihoon made them sign an agreement not to touch him...of course that didn’t work and he was caught in unfortunate circumstances surrounding the both of them, to the point where both sex partners started to want to pursue jihoon for themselves.lol

This manhwa is just straight up kinky trash, it is meant to be a satire on three some relationships and not meant to be taken seriously, so just going by that, there’s not much point to the story, it’s not in depth it’s just interesting to watch jihoon reject these actors advances in order to save his virginity.lol. I feel like from the recent chapters jihoon maybe more interested in yoojin than yohan so i’m waiting to see if yohan even has a chance to be on jihoon’s radar.

This is still ongoing and it only has 20 chapters so far so i don’t have that much to say about it, this was just something really normal in terms of yaoi to read while I was reading some dark stories, the art is really nice too if that is of any interest to you.

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So there are a couple of series that are quite popular that I have left out because I have dropped then fairly early on. one series called “Hate or Love” which i started a while back then and didn’t like the whole plot of having an abusive sibling forcing another sibling into a sexual relationship... i’m like nope...

This manhwa should have just been called “ Domestic boyfriend” I would have avoided it all together, because I have read “Domestic girlfriend” it is essentially the theme, and a giant dumpster fire of flaming garbage.

The main reason i stopped it was because the other person that I was hoping the main guy would end up with didn’t end up as the “ winner” well from what the comments said anyways, cause i stopped fairly early on when i found out the guy i liked was not going to be the end game, that makes me sad cause from the early chapters that i have read, there was a lot of sexual tension between the two of them and I was hoping this author would not push abusive sibling relationship as the plot...but looks like she did ...and i don’t care for it and find it gross...but that’s my morals, even if they were not siblings by blood they grew up together as siblings...that’s still vastly inappropriate. I'm used to it since I grew up with Japanese anime and manga with incest themes, but it still bothers me.... Vampire knight...

Even if they were not even related, i still would not like that red haired dude regardless cause his character seems like a dick, and i don’t think he suffered enough consequences for his actions to make him a redeemable character in my opinion. And also...out of 7 billion people on this earth, you would rather be with your brother...smh.

Also if we are talking about using sibling relationships in a sexual way as a plot line, then how i interpret this manhwa is that it is focused on more of glorifying abuse and sexual relations between siblings rather than making the subject matter more serious, if you know what I mean. But to each their own if you just read it because it interests you then feel free to do so, i’m not interested and decided to just drop it early on.

The other one is called “ Yours to claim” another popular series but again I don’t like dark haired dude, I think he’s a dick and if it was me I’d choose the blonde guy, he seems like he would be a person that would treat me better. I just don’t understand the appeal of being treated like shit by people, if anyone treats you like that...please dump their ass! Because It’s not okay! Both of these have the “ other guy “ as the better option for a potential relationship but they always choose the other messed up abusive/ bad boy and i just don’t why...i just feel disappointed but literally not surprised since it’s an ongoing trope in any sort of romance based media.

But needless to say there is nothing for us as the audience to do but to read them, we don't make any calls on who the person ends up with and the plot lines that happen in the story, so that is that i guess.

I’m having a mental breakdown just thinking about these two series, i included then briefly cause they fall into this weeks’ theme of trash.

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MUSIC

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Nothing special to share in this department this month, mostly listening to podcasts .lol.

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K-DRAMAS/SHOWS

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The tale of nokdu:

I described this drama as the mulan reversal, if you know the story of mulan, she dresses up as a man and goes into the imperial army camp to fight in the war in place of her father, nokdu is an adopted child that was suddenly hunted down by a bunch of assassins one day and instead of fleeing with his father and older brother he decided to follow the assassin into the city since he was able to injure them in the leg. He followed the assassin into town and was almost able to catch them when he was suddenly arrested from a disturbance another young man in town has caused. Later he found out that the assassin was heading to a village that was out of sight and exclusively to women, in order for him to go in he would need to dress up as a woman, the opportunity arose when he helped a young woman escape from the village with her husband and she gave him her clothes in exchange for his to escape. He then infiltrates the village and now has to chase after the assassin and try to kill the mastermind behind the assault on his family. But what he discovers was more than what it seems. This is 16 episodes and is completed if you want to watch it; I recommend it since its really good.

True beauty:

Everyone and their mother is watching this web toon turned drama, I say this cause my sister who gave up watching any k-dramas watched this one and read it...this is something, she doesn’t like a lot of things so i decided to watch it after she told me it was good. I watched it and I didn’t like it mainly because the problems in here is very much a young adult type of problem, like having acne and having to deal with bullies at school, these are all problems you mainly deal with when younger so none of this drama is relatable so I didn’t enjoy it. If you like the high school romance drama setting you might like this, but I have watched so much more meaningful dramas, this doesn’t do it for me.

That’s all the dramas I have watched so far, I mainly have been listening to podcasts instead of watching anything, I find it hard to find an interesting drama to watch these days, I have been enjoying listening to people talk about nothing lol.

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ANIME

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Haikyuu:

Finished Haikyuu season 4 part 2, I left this for a while so that all the episodes were finished and every time I watch it i gives me the same feeling every time. This part focuses on a lot of characters that were not fully flushed out in the first few seasons, like tanaka and nishinoya and one of the bench players...i forgot his name. I really like their portrayal of hinata this season he really is the saving grace of karasuno, not because of his obscure skills in volleyball or incredible stamina but because he’s playing volleyball because he loves it and it is fun even if the stakes are high. I feel a lot of the players here this season were so stressed they forgot that the game is supposed to be fun, and he keeps reminding them that it is what it is and that they should live in the moment. I loved seeing that develop in his character because i feel like there was too much focused on kageyama for a while and I wanted to see more of hinata’s growth.

So I was pleased with season 4 and I can’t wait to see more, haikyuu is really one of those anime that people are widely talking about now and it really is well deserved.

Skate the infinity:

Another sports anime about skate boarding, the animation is really nice and art style is really beautiful. I know there are so many sports anime out there now but this one is really interesting, I like the relationship between the two main characters reki and langa, it reminds me of the friendship between riku and sora in Kingdom hearts, reki teaches langa how to skate board from scratch and langa being a previous snow boarder was able to race one of the best contenders in the underground skating rink and beat them in a match but of course he isn’t a genius so he wanted to learn everything from the ground up since he thought it was fun. Lol. I like seeing the progress so far in their skating journey, this anime is really wholesome.

Dr. Ramune mysterious disease specialist:

This is a very satire anime, It is really comedic and deals with a doctor treating weird diseases, like the first episode there was a girl with a disease that made her cry out condiments as tears. It's actually very interesting in terms of the types of diseases they treat in each episode and how he uses these magical items to do so, that is a really bad explanation for this show but please watch it .It’s interesting so far and I’ll write more as it finishes.

so as a finishing statement, I hope you all enjoyed the favorites for January, I have been able to catch up on a lot of things which is why I have so many things to talk about this month, I already have the next theme for the Hell segment planed out for next month, so I can't wait to share that, if you like the manhwa recommendations and my excessive ranting so far.

until then. please take care of yourself and your love ones ! lunar new years is coming up, have a great year and I hope 2021 will be a lot better please follow me on my social media listed below if you'd like

thanks!

sheena

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SOCIAL MEDIA

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Instagram: shinb_art

Tumblr: shinahbee

Deviantart: she-be.deviantart.com

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3416 · 4 years

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the way i REALLY woke up to some people insinuating and supporting the idea that robbe and sander’s relationship is emotionally abusive bc robbe is shown adjusting and trying to support his bf.... yall are literally going stir crazy during this quarantine,, anyway thoughts belong the cut even though no one asked bc yall are SOEMTHIGN.

the way.. some of you really look at sander,,,, someone who dealt with a type of emotional abuse in his last relationship,,,,, and turn around and think he’s manipulating or pushing robbe to do the things he’s doing.... are fucking insane. you’re gonna tell me that robbe drop-everything-for-his-mother ijzermans doesn’t already have the instincts to try to make sander’s existence a little more bearable....

deleting and rewriting a text to sound more supportive is censoring yourself.............. i am laughing... did any of you watch season 3 where all he fucking did was delete texts and not send them and rewrite them....... sorry teenage boys aren’t known for fucking empathy, but it’s incredible to me that robbe as a character can pinpoint and correct what may sound slightly condescending to send to someone dealing with an mi in stressful times like this. in fact, it may be even unrealistically communicative of him to do so...

robbe leaving his friends.................... when sander calls him......... because yet again all they were talking about was pussy and weed (NOW they just leave out the homophobic jokes!)........ his friends who left him at the drop of a hat for any girl that walked by all of season 3........ the way yall are acting like they were having some big brain convo when half of us were GRATEFUL that shit was only 2 mins so we didn’t have to listen to teenage boys talk about masturbating with toothpaste.... i cant fklsdjflksdjflkds with YOU GUYS.. PLEASE... THE WAY some of you love the boysquad and specifically jens for being literal nothing friends is so funny to me................... but that’s for another rant.

him not really smoking weed anymore.... i want yall to watch the first clip of the season and tell me robbe wasn’t sitting there trying to cope by getting high and drunk as fuck... why does anyone rely on those substances so heavily? i get it, teenagers are bored and used to it and it’s all fine and dandy, but plenty of people... don’t smoke... the way you guys genuinely think we saw robbe at any single moment in that show LOVING smoking and doing it just for fun rather than to escape his circumstances... so him not doing it now.... honestly seems rather in character lmao. he relied on alcohol n weed to literally get over shit that was happening in his life, and now he doesn’t feel the need to lean so heavily on substances, and yall are MAD and CONCERNED about it? (also... we specifically see him refuse weed the happier he is, ie the hotel clip, before he even knew sander was bipolar... NOW would be the time to pull out those critical thinking skills)

you guys saying that sander gives nothing in return........... did any of you literally watch s3... i am begging you.... please..... know your source material and the characters, you’re driving me to the brink with that insinuation.

and last but not least... i think some of you just WANT robbe to be the least favorite so you can have something to complain about. it’s incredible that you’re able to parse the tag and find examples of robbe’s worth solely hinging on his relation to sander and not the same vice versa......... yesterday, all i saw were people talking about how happy robbe was, and normally... all i see are posts talking abt how happy sander makes him...... you’re gonna tell me that people garnered NOTHING from sitting for an entire 10 weeks in robbe’s shoes? i just don’t buy it. you see what you want to see, and i just can’t entertain half the ideas you guys have people you’re sitting around bored and want something to be mad at. anyway....... sorry if this is too harsh, but it’s like the same people over and over who have whack ass takes and think they have to be the mediators for all discourse and it’s so annoying to me. you can’t just throw around ‘emotional abuse’ n think both sides are equally valid in their thinking... life doesn’t work like that. esp when we’ve only seen 2... (TWO.........) not even 3-minute clips of a relationship outside of season 3.................. you guys are something else...

i love fandom <3

#wtfock #PLEASE.... SOMETIMES YALL TAKE 'GET CRITICAL THINKING SKILLS' TOO SERIOUSLY.....#wtfam #literally not everything requires the dissection you give it.. yall just bored.#discourse

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portals-to-a-new-world · 5 years

Text

Shattered Glass

Who?: John Kennex x Reader

What?: YN and John fight, forcing both of them to realize some truths neither were willing to admit.

Word Count: 4724

Warnings: Angst, Intrusive Thoughts, Self-Image Struggles, Portrayals of Depression and Anxiety, Language, Smut, Unprotected Sex (wrap it before you tap it, y’all), Semi-Public Sex, Fluff

A/n: Hey y’all! This started out as a therapy fic for me after I’d had a bad day at work and just sort of snowballed lol. I’d just like to reiterate that this has portrayals of negative self image and anxiety/depression so please don’t put yourself at risk if that’s going to trigger you. I’d like to give yet another shoutout to the absolutely brilliant @bakerstreethound, without whom this story couldn’t have happened. She kept me sane during the beginning and has been the bestest friend and partner anyone could ask for. Ace, I really don’t know what I’d do without you 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 Finally, I’m not tagging in this one, simply because I’m currently trying to work out a way to organize my tags so that people only get tagged in what they want to be :). Keep an eye out for a post soon with further details, peaches. Oh just one more thing, I’ve been seeing a lot of blogs having their works reposted on other sites without permission, and I’d like to establish here that I do not give anyone permission to repost my works. I’m on AO3 under the same username, but any other sites are not me.

Rough days were standard in your line of work. You'd think that after 3 years in the industry, the last 5 months of which being spent with your current employer, would have you used to the stress. Then again, you weren't sure anyone could get used to the bitch of a co-worker who was causing 80% of your issues. You were higher up in the company than her, but because she'd been with them longer, she seemed to think she could order you around. Going to your bosses achieved nothing, as she was apparently "invaluable" to the company, and didn't bother listening to them anyway. It wasn't a big deal at first, just one of those "ignore them, and they'll go away" situations, but as time progressed it got increasingly worse. Today you were forced to endure her screaming insults and ranting at you about a mistake your partner had made. Your day only seemed to get worse from there, and by the time you got off, you were about ready to blow a fuse. 4 bouts of road rage and a spilled coffee later, and you finally walked through the door to your apartment, slamming it shut behind you. John's head poked around the corner from the kitchen, noodles hanging from his lips. "Jesus. Is the door still standing?" He asked once he'd swallowed. You just huffed in response. He raised an eyebrow as you walked past without giving your usual greeting in the form of a kiss. "Hello to you, too, then." He mumbled. You waved your hand sarcastically over your shoulder.

"Hey," You said. John's concern was written all over his face as he followed you into the living room. He spoke as you plopped onto the couch, placing your head in your hands.

"I'd ask if you're okay, but clearly you're not so-"

"Sorry, Detective, but you must be losing your touch because I'm fine." You said, looking up to offer a strained smile, which was met with a skeptical eyebrow raise.

"Uh-huh, and Richard's being promoted to captain. Don't bullshit me, (Y/N/N). What's wrong?" He placed a hand on your shoulder as he finished. You shrugged it off and stood to your feet, ignoring the incredulous look on his face at your actions.

"I said I'm fine, John. Just let it go." You turned to walk away, but his hand shot out to grab ahold of your wrist. You tried to tug it free, which only served to draw him to his feet. He pinned your arm against his chest, pulling you in close. "Let me go." You said as you continued to struggle against him. Any other time you'd've found being pinned against such a handsome bastard incredibly sexy, in fact, that's probably why he did it in the first place. The notion was like throwing a match onto gasoline, igniting the rage that had been simmering under the surface into a full-on blaze.

"What the hell's gotten into you??" He demanded.

"I told you to fucking let it go, Kennex. In fact, you might as well go ahead and leave altogether, cause I'm not in the mood to fuck you tonight." He dropped your wrist as if scalded and took two steps back to search your face in angry disbelief before replying.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" You threw your hands in the air in exasperation.

"Oh, come on! I'm not stupid, John. There was never going to be anything serious between us. You're not capable of trusting, let alone loving, anyone after Anna, and even if you were, you'd never choose me." He opened his mouth to reply, but you cut him off. "No, you wouldn't. Put me in a line up with every woman you've ever been attracted to, and the differences are fucking painfully obvious." You took a deep breath before continuing. "I was not, and never will be, anything more to you than convenient, no matter how much I love you. Okay? So, you don't have to pretend to fucking care anymore, John."

"How dare you! I can't believe I'm standing here listening to this bullshit; matter of fact," He paused and gestured as if an idea just occurred to him. "I'm not going to!" He stormed over to his coat and yanked it off the counter before throwing it on. He stopped momentarily to look back at you, mouth open to speak before sighing roughly in frustration. "Fuck this." Without another word, he was going out your door, slamming it so hard behind him that the pictures on the wall fell and crashed on the floor. In a single moment, everything in you shattered like glass. You collapsed in a heap as sobs began to rip through your chest. It's for the best. He would have left eventually, anyway. Why would he want to stay with a useless, disgusting, pathetic thing like you? God, you can't even handle the basic stress of everyday problems, while he's out there still doing his job after everything he's been through. I mean, how weak can you be?? No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't stop the thoughts from invading your mind. Each one cut deeper than the last until you were numb. Eventually you stood to your feet, drained and feeling hopeless. Your body moved on autopilot, carrying you through your nightly routine and into bed. You slept in fits and starts, nightmares plaguing nearly every second. When your body finally gave in to the utter exhaustion, a tiny part of you had hoped that you would wake up to find it'd all been a dream. Most of you didn't want to wake up at all, though.

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Unfortunately, neither part of you got its wish. You did indeed wake up, and you woke up to an empty bed. Your heart broke as you realized just how badly you'd fucked up. You didn't have time to dwell on your failures, though, as your phone was ringing, and upon answering, you discovered you were over an hour late for work. You shot up out of bed and quickly threw some clothes on, rushing through your morning essentials. As you stepped out of your front door, you looked up and saw dark storm clouds rolling in. You flipped through the radio in your car and found out that the storms were supposed to last through the rest of the week. At least the weather matched how you felt inside. Unsurprisingly, your problematic co-worker was standing ready to lay into you the moment you stepped through the doors. It took every ounce of what little strength you had left not to break down right then and there. By some stroke of luck, she was called away by your bosses, and you quickly took off to your desk. Your day was almost typical, until around 2 pm, your phone buzzed with an incoming text. Your heart stopped as you looked at the name on the screen. John. Your hands were shaking as you unlocked the phone to read the message.

Come by my place when you get off. We need to have a serious talk.

All of your fears came crashing down on you at once, punching through your chest like a bullet. You stumbled your way into the bathroom and latched onto the sink edge to anchor yourself. So this really was it. He was breaking up with you. Your hand flew up to press against your chest as the ache there blossomed into raw agony. At least he had the decency to do it in person. He could have just ghosted you. You continued to rub your chest as you typed out a simple 'okay' in response. A quick glance at the time revealed that you still had three hours left in your shift. You took a few deep breaths and splashed some cool water on your face. The last thing you needed was for someone to ask "what's wrong" and you end up breaking down in front of God and everyone. After you managed to calm down enough to return to your desk, time seemed to slow down, until the remaining three hours felt like twelve. You'd also discovered that you'd left your rain jacket at John's the last time you'd spent the night. Still, most of your body was numb by then anyway, so it didn't really matter as you stepped out into what had to be a freezing downpour at the end of your shift. In all honesty you were grateful for the numbness. You almost certainly would have never been able to drive had it not been for the near void that threatened to consume you as you drove through the crowded city. When you pulled up into the driveway, some of the emptiness cleared away, leaving panic in your chest and your whole body shivering as you sprinted to the door. You hardly registered John opening the door and pulling you inside. Your focus was locked on to the way his face moved while he spoke, committed to memorizing every detail while you still had the chance. Your gaze had fallen to his perfectly plump lips when you realized he was saying your name.

"Y/n, can you hear me, sweetheart?" You shook your head to clear some of the fog from your mind. Might as well get it over with.

"Yeah-" You cleared your throat. "Yeah, I can hear you. When do you wanna come by and get your stuff? Or would you rather me just drop it off here for you?" Confusion flooded his features as you finished.

"What are you talking about? Why would I need my stuff back?" Damn, was he so done with you that he didn't even want his stuff back? You dropped your eyes, knowing that you wouldn't be able to hold his gaze without breaking down completely.

"You're breaking up with me, right?" You cursed silently as tears began to stream down your face. Gentle fingers pressed up beneath your chin to tilt your face back up.

"You haven't listened to a word I've said, have you?" You didn't respond, too caught up in the softness of his eyes, and he didn't bother waiting for one anyway. "I said I shouldn't have walked out on you last night. I had some excuse about being tired, but the truth is I was afraid because you were right. I didn't think I would ever be able to love anyone again after Anna." Your heart clenched and the tears began to fall even harder as breathing became difficult. Had you been watching his face, you would have seen the heartache ooze across his features as he watched you break down in front of him. As it were, your gaze had fallen back to the floor, and you jumped when his hand moved up to cradle your face softly. "I was so pissed at myself, and at you for being right, that it wasn't until this morning when I woke up without you in my arms, and it hurt that I realized just how wrong we both had been. You're wrong about me never choosing you. You're smart and kind, and so beautiful you take my breath away when you walk into a room." You hiccupped and fell apart as you processed what he was saying to you. He rushed to pull you into his arms as your knees threatened to give out, and just held you until you could breathe again. He pulled back far enough to look you in the eyes before he continued speaking. "And I was wrong. Because I do love you, and I'm sorry it took me so long to figure that out." You gasped deeply and threw your arms around his neck.

"I'm so sorry too. I never should have taken out my frustrations about work on you."

"It's alright. Do you wanna talk about it?" Part of you still felt stupid about the reason for your outburst, but you felt so safe in his embrace that you found yourself nodding in affirmation. He placed a kiss on the top of your head and let you go. The sudden lack of his warmth sent shivers up your spine.

"Jesus. Why's it so cold in here?" You asked, rubbing your arms. He reached out and took your hand with a grin.

"Part of your surprise." He said with a wink. "Come on. I'll show you." You followed him around the corner and into the main room. You came to a stop as your eyes fell on the mounds of blankets and pillows arranged on the floor. He turned to look back when you stopped, and he seemed disappointed when you just looked at him in confusion. "You mentioned a while back that you loved the sound of the rain on the roof here. I'd figured-" He cringed slightly as he stumbled over his words. "Well, I mean I'd hoped-" He began to rub the back of his neck nervously before he continued. "I'd hoped that we'd be able to work things out, so I went ahead and got everything set up. Since they're calling for the storms to last for so long and all." Deciding to put him out of his misery, you stepped forward and pulled him down into a kiss. All the tension left his body as your lips connected, and you couldn't help but grin as you broke apart.

"I promise to not tell Dorian that you're secretly a big ol teddy bear who remembers tiny details about his girlfriend." You joked. John rolled his eyes, but still had a small smile on his face as he pulled you back in for another kiss. Despite his closeness, another chill ran down your spine, reminding you of your original query. "Doesn't explain why it's so flippin cold in here, though." He looked at you and gestured as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"It's a pillow fort. And you've got the internal body temperature of a small space heater. I'd really prefer to not sweat my ass off." He said. You bit your lip to hide your grin as you nodded gravely before replying.

"That would be a tragedy." He also was fighting a smirk as he slightly tilted his head in agreement.

"Exactly. My ass is a national treasure," He said. You giggled and let your smile finally breakthrough as he gestured in a 'come hither' motion. You began to worry your bottom lip between your teeth as you stepped forward. He reached over and pulled the soaking wet towel from your shoulders, surprise in his eyes as if something had just occurred to him. You stepped forward in concern as his eyes seemed to zone out and darken.

"John? What's wrong?" He seemed to snap out of his trance, and he cleared his throat before gesturing to your body.

"Your shirt. It's soaked. You're gonna catch a cold." You followed his gaze to your chest to discover that his eyes had not darkened in anger or frustration, but in lust. He was right, your shirt was absolutely dripping wet. It was also white. Ah.

"Would you prefer me to take it off?" You joked. A smirk emerged on his lips, sending a shudder through you that had nothing to do with the cold. He nodded and closed the distance between you.

"Purely in the interest of your health, of course," He said lowly. You tilted your head in mock defeat and began undoing the buttons of your shirt slowly.

"Well, I'm sure you know best, Detective." You barely made it half-way down the line before his lips were crashing into yours and his hands taking over to speed through the remaining buttons. He paused before he could push the garment off of your shoulders.

"Is this- I mean I don't want to assume- Or make you think I'm only after-" You cut him off with another kiss and shrugged out of the sleeves. He still seemed hesitant, right up until you nipped at his bottom lip. He huffed out a breathless growl before returning the favor, his hands landing on your bare waist to pull you into him. He swiped his tongue across your lip in a silent request for entrance, which you happily granted. Your hands moved to grip at his shoulders while his own began an exploration of your body, sliding up your spine and across your stomach before dropping from your skin entirely. You whined at the loss of contact, but he quickly made up for it by reaching down and pulling his shirt over his head. He leaned back down and placed a soft kiss on your lips. "Just making things even," He murmured against you. His hands found your hips as he led you to the center of the room without breaking the kiss, but it was his turn to grunt in surprise when you gently pushed him down on the pillows. "What-" He stopped when your hands moved to play with the clasp of your bra.

"We're not even yet, Detective." You said coyly. You barely got the garment off before he was tugging you down on top of him and into another breathtaking kiss. A moan escaped your lips as he nibbled your ear, trailing kisses down your neck. You brought a finger up to his mouth, stopping his assault. "We're not done yet, detective." You were smirking and trailing your hands across every bit of his skin you could reach, but you were partly just trying to hide the way you were trembling at having him so close. Another part was just reassuring itself that he was really there, not believing that he was finally truly yours, that you had the broken-hearted detective beneath you. It all felt like a dream until he ground up against you and whispered in your ear.

"Please, (Y/n)," He didn't even finish his sentence before you were climbing off of him to quickly remove your pants and underwear. He followed your lead and, to your surprise, pulled you back down on top of him once he'd finished. You uttered a whimper as he brushed up against your soaked folds, but it turned into a full-fledged whine as he slowly guided you down onto his length. He cursed and his eyes fluttered closed once he was fully sheathed inside you. You both took a moment to breathe and adjust to the sensation, and he finally looked at you when his hands began to guide your hips. "I love you." You leaned down to claim his lips again, tears threatening to fall at the words you'd never thought you'd hear him say.

"I love you too." You said, pulling back to meet his gaze once again. Such a small declaration, yet it made every movement, every touch, feel different. It was slow and passionate, so contrary to the fast and rough pace that was the norm with John. You couldn't bring yourself to look away from his deep hazel eyes, full of love and adoration, as you moved in perfect sync together. He rose with every fall, hitting so deep inside you that you knew you'd be feeling him for weeks. Your hips began to stutter as the sensations threatened to overwhelm you, and without missing a beat John flipped the two of you. A yelp escaped your kiss swollen lips as his nimble fingers slipped between the two of you to rub deliciously at your clit, and you could feel yourself rapidly approaching your orgasm. "John- please- don't stop!" He seemed more than happy to oblige, maneuvering to thrust impossibly deeper as his lips found your ear once again.

"You gonna cum for me, beautiful? I-" Whatever sweet nothing he had planned to say was choked off into a moan as your orgasm hit you. Your walls clamping down around him dragging him over the edge with you as he worked you through until you were whining with oversensitivity. He finally slid out of you and quickly retrieved a towel to clean you up. When he'd finished, he laid back down beside you and wrapped an arm around you, resting your head on his chest. You hummed in contentment as he began to stroke your hair, nearly drifting off before an idea occurred to you.

"John?" You mumbled against his chest.

"Yeah?"

"Do you still have any of that hot chocolate mix I gave you?" A small laugh rumbled in his chest as he responded.

"Yeah. You want some?" You lifted your head up to smile sweetly and nod your head.

"Yes, please!" John shook his head with a smile and placed a quick kiss to your temple before extracting himself from your embrace. You booed when he slid his boxers back on, earning another grin, this time accompanied by a wink before he headed off into the kitchen. Amongst the quiet, you finally registered the sounds of the rain still hammering against the building, the constant drumming a soothing backdrop to the cozy situation you found yourself in. You stood and slid back into your panties before moving to stand in front of the window. You also grabbed one of the blankets to protect against the chill that pervaded the air around the glass. Looking out, you could barely make out the disturbances the rain made to the surface of the water through the darkness, and yet you still found yourself mesmerized by the beauty of the view. You were drawn out of your reverie when John's voice sounded out behind you. "So, tell me about work. Is that woman causing problems again? What's her name, Kar-" He said as he entered the room. When his voice cut off you looked over your shoulder to find him staring at you with wonder in his eyes. You quickly looked out the window to see what he was staring at but couldn't spot anything particularly special.

"What are you looking at?" You asked, turning back right as he walked over to you. He didn't respond; instead, his hands found their way inside your blanket to grab your hips and push you back against the window. Mild panic set in before he finally spoke up. "John?"

"You're so beautiful." He said, dropping his head to kiss along your neck. You huffed in disbelief and reached up to push against his shoulders.

"You're crazy," Your pressing did little to dissuade him from his task, and you couldn't help but smile as he continued to mutter praises into your skin. "John," You chuckled as he continued to nuzzle into your neck. "Stop it, you're fogging up the glass," Your protests were growing half-hearted though, as his hands began to wander, and his lips trailed softly over your skin.

"And?" He questioned, pulling you back enough that your blanket fell to the floor before moving back forward so you were pressed against the icy cold glass. You yelped at the shock the temperature difference gave your system, trying to shove him back and pull him closer for warmth at the same time, both to no avail.

"I was enjoying the view," You said, breathlessly in a last-ditch attempt to persuade him. He pulled back to look you in the eyes before he responded.

"I've got a much better one right in front of me." His lips found yours and you melted against him. The kiss bordered on desperate, almost as if he was afraid you'd disappear. His hands left a trail of goosebumps behind as the heat of his skin emphasized the chill in the air, sliding up your arms and down your back before moving to play with the skin just beneath your waistband. A whine left you as he dipped his fingers inside to tease at your lips, sliding around and deftly avoiding everywhere you wanted him. Just as you were about to pull back and tell him to stop teasing, he thrust two fingers deep inside you, drawing a surprised gasp from you. "So wet for me," He mumbled against your lips as he began to thrust his fingers inside you. Each pass brushed up against your g spot until you were practically seeing stars and begging him for more. Suddenly, his fingers were gone, and you opened your eyes to find him licking your juices off of them. You let out a desperate whine.

"John, please, please fuck me." You said, reaching out to palm him through his boxers. His hand grabbed your wrist before you could touch him, though, and he spun you around.

"As the lady wishes." He leaned in and said against your ear. He reached down and pulled himself free from his boxers. John didn't bother to remove your own underwear, instead just sliding them to the side before slowly working his length inside you. You groaned in relief as he began to thrust slowly, pulling out and pushing back in to make sure you were ready. His cock dragged perfectly against every sensitive spot you had, sending pleasure shooting through your body and making your toes curl. Seeming satisfied with your preparedness he began to pick up his pace, hitting deeper inside you with every push. You yelped as his fingers found your nipples, tweaking and pulling on the sensitive buds as you moaned out his name. A hand left your skin and reached up to swipe across the glass, revealing your reflection. "Look. Do you see how fucking gorgeous you are? So beautiful, and mine." He nipped at the skin beneath your ear as his hand moved down your front to rub harsh circles on your clit. You threw your head back against his shoulder, eyes falling shut at the added sensation, but a sharp bite made them shoot open again. "Eyes open, baby girl. I want you to watch as I make you fall apart around me." Your eyes found his in the reflection, and you moaned at the way his pupils were blown wide with lust.

"Please, John, I need more-" You gasped deeply as his thrusts began to pick up speed, knocking you up onto your toes and forcing you to throw your hands up against the glass for support. Your reflection revealed how utterly wrecked you were, and the sight sent you flying over the edge with a scream of John's name. He buried his face in your neck as he continued to thrust, chasing his own release and prolonging yours as you gasped and sputtered, unable to form words thanks to the electric waves of pleasure flowing through you. Just when you thought you couldn't handle anymore, John's thrusts faltered, and he came with a deep groan. He rested his forehead on your shoulder as he waited for his breathing to return to normal, mumbling 'I love you's and pressing kisses into your heated skin. Out of nowhere tears began to flow down your cheeks, a quiet sob escaping you. John immediately noticed, and carefully pulled out of you before turning you around to run his hands over you in concern.

"(Y/n), what's wrong? I didn't hurt you, did I? I'm so sorry, sweetheart-" The panic in his voice made the tears come harder, and you struggled to voice what was happening.

"No, you didn't hurt me-" You hiccupped. "I just- don't deserve you." Confusion crossed his face as he processed what you were telling him.

"What? You-" He seemed to come to a decision, and he went and grabbed his phone, quickly pulling up the dial pad. "Here. Call your work and tell them you're taking the rest of the week off. If they ask why then tell them police business."

"What? John, I can't just-"

"You've got tons of time off saved up, right?" He cut you off, still holding the phone out.

"Well yes, but-"

"Then, by law, they can't stop you from taking it." You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, trying to control your breathing and stop the tears.

"Why are you doing this?" You asked, finally looking up at him.

"Because I want to spend the next 5 days showing you just how amazing you are." He said, so confident, so resolute, that you found yourself reaching out to grab the phone.

#john kennex x reader #kennex x reader #Angst #Intrusive Thoughts #Self-Image Struggles #Portrayals of Depression and Anxiety #Language #Unprotected Sex #Semi-Public Sex #Fluff

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fourteenth-doctor · 5 years

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i have a lot of thoughts about chibnall’s era thus far so i needed an outlet to voice them because none of my friends watch doctor who lol (note: this could come across as rant-y although it’s not all complaints, but if you see no flaws in the chibnall/thirteen era you might want to avoid this post)

disclaimer: i haven’t seen anything chibnall has written besides doctor who, and the only acting role i’ve seen jodie in besides the doctor is the episode of black mirror that she did. they could be wonderful writers/showrunners/actors, but i’m solely basing this off of what i’ve seen on doctor who

1. chibnall does so much telling, and not much showing. the easiest example of this for me is thirteen’s relationship with her companions. within the second (maybe even first!) episode of thirteen’s era, she referred to ryan, yaz, and graham as her fam. (side note, i’m so sick of hearing that word, i’m sorry). the most on-par comparison for this is eleven’s relationship with the ponds. they are undoubtedly his family, but you saw his relationship with all of them grow into a familial relationship and he didn’t call them his family after knowing them for less than a week. we’re not shown the relationship thirteen has with her companions growing and becoming something that can be considered a family, instead we’re told right off the bat that they’re her family. we’re now two series down and i do not see them as her family at all. she’s the doctor, they’re her companions. that’s about as deep as their connection goes for me as a viewer. i don’t know if it’s because there’s so many of them immediately so that already reduces the time for us to see their relationships deepening.

2. thirteen doesn’t seem to have many dimensions to her character. i made a post about this already but deleted it. i don’t know if it’s jodie’s acting, or if it’s because thirteen is so rambunctious and bubbly that when she’s serious it falls flat for me, but it does. i LOVE that thirteen is fun and goofy (eleven is my favorite doctor, i’m not opposed to humor and child-like behavior) but i feel like whenever thirteen attempts to be serious (most of the timeless children, for example) i have a hard time with it. i could be wrong but i feel like she hasn’t really had a Doctor Monologue™️ either. if you’re a fan of the show you know what i’m talking about, the speeches the doctor gives that could only be said by the doctor. and if she has, they haven’t been memorable which is why i can’t recall her having one.

3. i legitimately don’t know what it is, but something’s missing. in s11 i said that there were a lot of time travel (rosa, demons of the punjab, the witchfinders) that i felt like chibnall forgot this was also a scifi show. however, in s12, that improved. orphan 55 felt like something out of black mirror, fugitive of the judoon was fun!, praxeus was a fun way to incorporate some real life issues into the show, can you hear me was very scifi. so that has improved tremendously already from s11, but it still feels like something’s missing. it doesn’t feel like the doctor is taking us upon their tardis and bringing us on a grand adventure anymore. so maybe what’s missing is fun. maybe these things feel more like duties than fun for the viewer, or at least for me.

4. please read this entire paragraph before you make assumptions about what i mean by this, but the wokeness. i love that doctor who has become more inclusive, i love that there’s more representation, i love that the new tagline is “space for all”. i am so happy that the doctor is played by a woman now. but some real life subject matter that they throw into the show now just feels... unnecessary and borderline performative. i already said praxeus was a good episode, and it was! i thoroughly enjoyed it. but it feels like chibnall just throws things into the show like climate change and it almost reminds me of the “my job here is done” “but you didn’t do anything” meme. whether intentional or not, it feels like a way for him to pat himself on the back. i desperately hope that’s not the case, and like i’ve said, i know nothing about the man other than the fact that he’s the showrunner for doctor who. i don’t know what his previous work is like, i don’t know how he is as a person, i am solely judging him on his work on doctor who. (also in the same vein, if s13 includes any comments about the doctor being a woman, my eyes will roll so hard they’ll fall out of my head. three series in and it’s now established in canon that the doctor is the timeless child who we saw regenerate into multiple genders. enough.)

5. i’m already craving change. and i feel terrible for it. i’m craving a regeneration, or a companion/all the companions to leave so we can get a new one. purely just to spice things up!!!! i don’t dislike any of the characters at the moment, they just aren’t doing it for me. and this is undoubtedly the writers’ fault. i don’t remember a time where i was just over the companions being there. and i think this has to go back to the point i made earlier where they were all there together immediately. i feel like i would like any of the three of them so much more if they had one-on-one time with the doctor. and i don’t mean a five minute scene, i mean they were the sole traveler. maybe it should have just been yaz. or ryan could have been the first and then his grandpa tagged along.

6. i still deeply, deeply love this show. and that’s the only reason i’m criticizing it. doctor who has been my favorite show since 2013, the longest a show has held my attention and my admiration. i’m not dumping all of these complaints out into the air and continuing to watch just for the sake of collecting complaints to add to a list. i’m complaining because i’ve watched this show for years, with five different doctors, multiple companions, two different show runners, and i know how good it can be. so it makes me sad that it’s not living up to its potential. i gave chibnall series 11 to get his bearings on what the series entailed, i chalked up me disliking that series to the fact that he was a first-year showrunner. and there were improvements with series 12, i like far more episodes in s12 than i do in s11. but it still had a lull period which i find incredible given the fact that there’s three less episodes than previous series had. i just want things to be better.

(also this is the most minuscule complaint out of all of them but pls bring back the christmas specials.)

anyway. i’ve said my piece. just wanted to let that all out. if you agree or disagree with me please let me know, i just want to hear everyone else’s thoughts. thanks!

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marvelsdc22 · 5 years

Text

The Professor And I (pt. 14)

Intro: Hello, lovelies!! Hope you guys are having a good day/night!! Enjoy this next part!! :)

Note: Y/N is gender neutral. Lena is a professor. Y/N is a student.

Word Count: 2115

Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

“No… They found him dead” Lena said, looking at you and watching as your eyes widened “What? That means I’m safe… We’re safe, right?” You asked, looking at her and lacing your fingers together, furrowing your brows when she shook her head “He’s been dead for weeks, long before the fire at the Student Union… They just found him by a river, hidden away in some bushes” Lena said, looking at you and pulling you closer to her “That… That means we’re back to square one then, I thought if we found him it would all stop” you said, pulling away from her and starting to pace, her watching you for a few moments before standing up and pulling you into a tight hug “I know, but there must be more to this… They’re doing an autopsy on him now, they said they’d keep me posted on what all they find” Lena said, rubbing your back and kissing your head as you held onto her and buried your face in her chest “We’ll get to the bottom of this, I promise” she whispered, running her fingers through your hair and just holding you until you calmed down “Lets head back to the living room, yeah?” She suggested after a few minutes, smiling when you nodded and pulled away, lacing your fingers together before the two of you went back to the living room.

The next morning, you woke up to the sun in your eyes since your blinds weren’t closed all the way, groaning some as you pulled your pillow over your head to block out the rays and snuggling back more against Lena when you heard her laugh “Good morning to you too” she chuckled, pulling you closer to her and taking the pillow off your head so she could press a kiss to your neck “Too bright” you grumbled, unwillingly opening your eyes before turning in her arms and pressing your forehead to hers “I have to update my parents” you said, closing your eyes and you having been keeping your parents in the loop of everything happening “We will” Lena assured, pressing a kiss to your lips and the two of you enjoying the company of one another “Girls! Time to get up!” You heard your dad shout, causing you to groan and open your eyes “We should listen, he has a habit of barging in if we don’t do as he asks” you chuckled, moving to get up when Lena pulled you back down and gave you a heated kiss “Sorry, just needed one more” she said, smiling at you before getting out of the bed first and leaving you wide eyed before your dad barged into the room “I said up” he said, watching you jump and roll off the bed and onto the floor “Dadddddd” you groaned, blushing as you heard him and Lena laughing at your dismay.

Once you all finished breakfast, you were sitting with your parents in the living room, Lena beside you and holding your hand “So, Lena got an update last night on the whole Mon-El situation” you said, looking at your parents and feeling the mood shift to a more serious one “What’s the update?” Your mother asked, looking between the two of you and listening as you relayed what Lena had told you the night before “So you guys don’t know who it could be?” Your father asked, rubbing his chin as he thought about all you just told them “Y/N saw the guy who attacked her at the Student Union at the diner, but by the time she told me he was already gone… We’ve been keeping an eye out for him” Lena said, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you closer to her side “Do the cops know?” “Yes, I told them about it after everything calmed down that night” you assured, resting your hand on Lena’s leg and looking at your parents “Keep us updated, okay?” Your mother asked, reaching over and taking your free hand “I will, don’t worry” you said, giving your parents a smile and squeezing your mothers hand, the four of you sitting in silence until Kara’s puppy came running in barking and jumping on each of you in excitement, causing the mood to shift and making you all laugh.

Later on that day, you were showing Lena around your home town since she hadn’t been there before “This was my high school, not much to it since it’s pretty small” you said, gesturing towards the school as you drove by and raising an eyebrow when you heard Lena chuckle “What? What’s so funny?” You asked, glancing at her as you stopped at a stop sign “I’m just imagining a fifteen year old Y/N starting high school for the first time” Lena chuckled, taking your hand and bringing it up to her lips to press a kiss to the back of it “I wasn’t little, I was only a little shorter than I am now” you said, blushing some and glancing at her “Uh-huh, that’s not what those pictures that your mom showed me earlier say” Lena said, watching as you blushed even more “She showed you?! Oh man” you groaned, sinking back against your seat and wishing you could just tuck yourself in a corner and hide for the rest of existence as you heard Lena laugh “Oh come on, it’s cute” she promised, giving your hand a small squeeze “When I meet your family I demand baby Lena pictures” you said, laughing some and glancing at her when she went silent “Hey, you okay?” You asked, pulling into a parking lot and parking before you turned in your seat to look at her “I’m fine, just… Family is a touchy subject for me” Lena said, looking at you before looking around “Hey, an ice cream shop, lets go in” Lena said, not giving you the chance to answer before she got out of the car and headed to the ice cream shop “Guess we’re getting ice cream” you sighed, getting out as well.

Once you were inside and ordered your ice cream, you sat down next to her in a booth and looked at her “You know you can talk to me, right?” You asked, looking at her and wincing when she took a frustrated bite of her ice cream “I know, Y/N, I don’t want to talk about it” she snapped, her Irish accent more prominent with her angry tone, causing you to scoot away and focus on your ice cream “Okay” you said softly, shaking your head and the two of you eating your ice cream in awkward silence, only being disturbed when your phone went off “It’s Kara, I gotta take this” you said, glancing at Lena as you got up and not noticing her roll her eyes “Fine” she said, a hint of jealousy mixed with the anger in her tone.

“You just saved my ass” you answered once you stepped out of the shop, shivering slightly as you stood outside and shoving your free hand in your coat pocket “I did? What’s going on?” Kara asked, you hearing shuffling on her end which told you she was stretched out on a bed, you relaying all that had just happened between you and Lena, leaning back against the building and glancing through one of the many windows to look at Lena who seemed to be focused on her phone while she idly ate her ice cream “Why is she so upset about that? I mean I get her mom forced her into a marriage, but I figured she got along with the rest of her family” Kara said, you having told her because she was your best friend so you told her everything “I don’t know, she refuses to talk about her family with me… Now that I think about it, there’s a lot that she doesn’t talk to me about” you said, averting your gaze from her as you thought about it more “Do you know why?” Kara asked, knowing that she could have a good reason and looking up when Alex came into the room “I’m putting you on speaker” she warned before setting her phone on the coffee table after she hit the speaker button “I don’t know, every time I bring up something she doesn’t want to talk about she just yells at me or gets snappy” you said, sighing some and closing your eyes “Maybe you should talk to her about this?” Kara suggested as Alex sat down next to her “Or I could teach her a lesson for hurting you” Alex said simply, receiving a glare and a smack to the arm from Kara “I’ll try to talk to her about it later… I think we both need a cool down period” you said, shivering more when the wind picked up “Anyways, what’ you call me for?” You asked, knowing she had more reason to call than hear you rant “Oh! Alex and I will be there for Thanksgiving, is it okay if we crash at your place the day before and after?” Kara asked, knowing that it’ll probably be an all-day thing “Yeah, I’ll ask my parents and I’ll text you… I’m gonna go, it’s freezing, and I’d like to go back inside” you chuckled, the three of you saying your goodbyes before hanging up.

Later on that night, Lena had given you the silent treatment most of the day and currently you were finishing discussing Thanksgiving with your parents “You’re okay with helping cook, Lena?” Your mother asked her again, watching as Lena smiled and nodded “Of course, I don’t mind helping, you guys are allowing me to stay here for the week so it’s the least I could do” She said, smiling at your mother while your father looked between the two of you curiously, noticing you two were sitting farther away than usually and there was no form of contact between you guys “Alright, looks like it’s all settled, we should get to bed, gonna be a lot of running around tomorrow” your mother said, smiling and standing up, kissing your head and Lena’s on her way out while Lena got up shortly after her “Have a nice night Y/F/N” she said, giving him a smile before she went towards your bedroom “Everything alright, Y/N?” Your father asked once he heard the bedroom door shut, you sighing and running a hand through your hair “Yeah, Lena and I just got into an argument is all” you said, looking at him and watching him nod before standing up and kissing your head “Everything will work out, you and Lena love each other, there’s no denying that” he assured, making you smile as he headed towards the hallway “Hey dad?” You said, watching him peek back around the corner “Thank you… I love you” you said, giving him a smile which he returned “I love you too, Y/N/N”.

After sitting in the kitchen for a few more minutes, you sighed and got up, about to head for your room before you stopped since you knew Lena probably didn’t want to see or speak to you, so you grabbed an extra pillow and blanket from the hall closet before making up a bed on the couch and shutting the lights off before you laid down on the couch with a sigh, you managing to drift off for about an hour when you woke to someone shaking you “Five more minutes” you grumbled, rolling over and burying your face in the back couch cushion “Y/N” Lena said, shaking you once more before you sighed and rolled over to face her “Yeah?” You asked, reaching over and turning on the lamp by the couch so you could see her “Why are you sleeping out here?” She asked, you blinking a few times to focus and noticing her eyes were red and puffy and her nose was red “You’re mad at me, so I slept out here to give you space” you said, looking at her and rubbing your eyes before you stretched “Just because I’m mad, doesn’t mean I don’t want to sleep with you” Lena said, looking at you and tugging on your arm to try to get you up “Wha-?” You asked, giving a small yelp when Lena rolled her eyes before she lifted you up with an arm behind your back and one under your legs, causing you to wrap your arms around her neck “You’re much stronger than you look” you commented, resting your head on her shoulder and hearing her chuckle as she carried you into your bedroom.

Permanent Taglist: @rianncreates / @5aftermidnight

Supergirl Taglist: @x-danvers-x / @aznblossom

Lena Taglist: @life2-live / @supergirl-imaginess / @ianarec

The Professor And I Taglist: @youngandwildx7 / @youlookterribleilookawesome / @ironsnowstorm / @rebornpoet / @scottishgirl1998

End Note: I hope you guys enjoyed!! If you want to be added to a Taglist, shoot me a DM or an Ask!! Have a good day/night!! :)

I.E.: If your Tumblr is no longer on a Taglist, it's because I wasn’t able to tag you for too many times, I’m sorry :/

Requests Open

#lena luthor x reader #lena x reader #lena luthor x gn!reader #professor!lena x student!reader #lena luthor imagine #dc x reader #dc #The Professor And I

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avenger-hawk · 4 years

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(1/3)HELLO! It's me, Anon who loves you again(lol). But you can call me Zera since I feel like we are going to interact more now (if u want to of course). But Damn, I just went back to finally read your response and I agree so much with what you say. I have an entire essay to write back and this shitty ask will not let me express myself lmao. Anyway, those past few days I felt so shitty just because of how degratory people can be on the internet because they think they are anonymous.

(2/3)Tumblr at this point is so…f*ucked. Constant slandering denigration, muckraking and aspersions. Some people try to negate the toxic and keep it alive but this platform is a breeding place for mob mentality. I’ve seen so many people bullied out of the place just for having a differing opinion. And so many people being all woke trying to “spill tea”, “expose” real people. They tarnish people’s feelings and reputations all behind their safe anonymous cocoon.

(3/3) And they justify this abuse/slander with “I am allowed to express my opinions so gtfo if you don’t agree bitch”. They play the victim when people tell them that opinions do not mean denigrating real people for bullshit reasons with no real proof. At this point sweetie, I am just ranting. Sorry if I am bothering you with those negative thoughts but I felt so shitty those past few days and you are pratically the only one I can get behind in this hellhole tumblr shit. Also, I am writing out-

(Last Part) As I was TRYING TO SAY before the limit bullshit cut me off, I am writing out a response to your previous response to my previous ask. It’s way too long already so I will either need to send you through dm or cut it out into pieces after I have fully written everything out. Thankkk you so much for talking to me despite me being so sudden with you. I appreciate you so much and I hope you are taking care out there (both physically AND mentally). Also, loving those art reblogs

Hello Zera and nice to meet you by your name (or nickname, it’s cute anyway~) and I’m glad you like my fanart reblogs.

I am sorry that you are feeling shitty…it’s frustrating, to say the least, to see people hide behind anonymous and slander blogs, names, real people who are behind them, for an opinion, a taste, whatever. I find irritating even the words/expressions they use, maybe because as a non native English speaker I saw them for the first time used in this bad context so they are only associated to tumblr fake woke idiots and their ‘that’s the tea’ shit. And it’s ironic that they can talk shit about people however they want but when people do the same to them they justify with not only the reasons I listen in my last reply but also with this thing you mentioned, that they are allowed to express their opinion…like, what about the person they slandered? oh but they are not ‘valid’ (I hate this word too) because their opinion is wrong. Says them, ofc. Then ofc they start playing the victim because poor kids, everyone is a bully to them.

It’s ok to rant, I understand your feeling well and I’d like to tell you that if you ‘stop paying attention’ to this it will be ok, but I do fall into the frustration & irritation pit too sometimes. But it happens less often, cause I channeled my fandom time and interested on positive stuff instead and so I want to stay. I don’t want to be preachy or belittle this problem because I know how hard it is (and you can see in my blog that I struggled with these problems directly too, both from dumbasses like those you describe, and from a different kind of creep lol, and even in my other fandom there is slandering and calling out and horrible things), but recently even more, all this coronavirus lockdown (my country is in quarantine since more than a month now) and something horrible that happened to the person I love, made me reconsider certain things. At least for me, at least for now, their importance is dulled down now…Even more than before where I was already detached from fandom dramas.

And since I can see things from a detached perspective I might try ‘suggesting’ something to not let this shit get to you…because life is a b*tch and you can’t allow yourself to suffer for f*ckers who don’t even show themselves, hiding behind an anonymous, or running a shitty blog where they just shit on people, it doesn’t matter.

I don’t engage in fandom discussion (or, like they call it, ‘discourse’, another word I hate) anyway, and I recommend everyone to not engage in anything with those f*ckers. Not because you (not just you Zera but you guys in general) are scared of them but because what they want is attention, and receiving replies, reblogs, attacks, everything, is what they want. blocking them, even making fun of them like they do to others, is ok, cause it’s repaying them with their same treatment. But cut communication. Block people, everyone. These idiots, their friends, those who put likes on their shit, those who put likes on their shit but also to your stuff because they can’t pick a side and maybe they’re good people who don’t think much about these things. Block every single person who irritates you even just a little, and everyone around them. Unfollow people, but mostly block them. The fanarts I post now has little notes compared to the ones I had in the past when I posted them, because I blocked everyone who annoys me, everyone whose opinions annoy me, everyone who starts shit even though I don’t want to speak to them, like every SN/SI/canon stans and puritans and more. I unfollowed friends who followed one of those fake woke b*tches, who reblogged their stuff I didn’t want to see, and made them unfollow me. Marie Kondo my a** lol

And make it clear, so that those who’ll see these people shitting on someone who clearly said they blocked them, will realize who’s bullying who. Maybe it won’t change anything in the short period but in the long run it will, because these assholes have their same behavioral pattern, being overt or even more, covert narcissistic b*tches in need of attention, so if their target ignores them they’ll move to another, in the same ‘area’.

The temptation to check their blogs and see if they attack you, your friends, or what they do in order to protect yourself is strong, but it won’t help getting over this. I know it’s hard and I fell into this a lot, but we all should use fandoms in a positive way to get distracted when we feel like shit because of fandoms…like looking at fanarts, fanfiction or using some private chat group that you know it’s a safe space, even though I read that a dischord chat became moralistic hell unexpectedly, for some the people who joined.

Anyway, sometimes we (and I include myself) fall into this ‘addiction’ where we consider fandom things so important, and we neglect real life people and things…and negative shit like bullying, slandering and all this makes us feel horribly and it’s not different from real life bullying. Sometimes it’s even worse because we join a fandom as a distraction, an escape route sometimes for real life problems, and instead we end up feeling like shit because of it. But, as someone who spent a whole year trying to expose a very bad person who did bad things to me online, and as a person who was slandered many times and always fought back, I can say that letting this affect our real life is bad. Because real life is even harder and we don’t need more weights on our shoulders. And if something like illness or death get close to your circle of people, you realize how all this is pointless, how these f*ckers have no purpose in their pathetic lives other than making others feel bad, and how we can and must fight back everything, but not let it get inside our heads and hearts, where we must keep things we like, our fave characters, ships, dynamics, kinks, people, whatever.

Because, and really everything I say I tried and try on myself first, there will come a time where you’ll look back at this and you’ll realize you might have missed something more important in your life, real or online it doesn’t matter, both are important…Life, I was saying, sometimes is cruel in big and small ways, taking something or someone away from you when you least expect it, making it hard to do the things you like because some a**holes decides it’s wrong, online and offline (like, try feeding crows in my area and see how much hate you can get, and being hated for something so harmless is really horrible, and it’s like the real life representation of online shit imo) is too short to worry about shitty blogs run by shitty people or shitty anons~

I really hope you’re feeling better Zera, and if you celebrate Easter I wish you a happy one!

#Anonymous #replies &co #fanon and fandom stuff

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space-malex · 4 years

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1 I am so sorry to bother you, I just really don't know who else to talk to. Feel free to ignore me if you want. I'm just so mad. I was happily scrolling thru the tags and I then I saw this awful person post the most disgusting thing. I don't know if you've seen it yet but she was saying the nastiest things (can confirm that I'm neither white, 40, a teenager or a fetishizer) and it's so clear her entire post was just a ploy in the interest of her fave char (3 guesses who, look at the pic)

2 and i think on top of that initial shitty behavior, she had the gall to go on state that alex fans are treating him like a weak child bec we're expecting him to fight for himself more and instead just accept his reaction to maria. Mind you this was after she gave samples of times Alex stood up for himself. Like what doesn't she get about the bas writing of that conversation annoying us so much. I think I hated it the most that she's pretending to stand up for Alex's character when all

3 she really wants is to cry boohoo that people are criticizing maria for valid concerns in the context of that conversation. Not at fault my ass. What kind of blindness??? At least recognize that she played her part too. Ugh, just whine about your fave and stop tagging chars/ships and trying to sound like you're just sharing opinion about other chars when what it really is is a hate post and meant to praise your fave. Some people are the worst about tags

4 and that's really what irritated me the most. I know there are some idiots out there but I don't want to see your posts on my tag, i don't care about your opinion. Just as I'm sure they don't want to see mine. And for sure she's the kind of person who's gonna cry once people start responding to their nastiness. I'm sorry for ranting, I was just vibrating with anger and I feel like I really needed to let it out. I also didn't want to stoop to their level and going to their blog. Tnx for reading

Thanks for trusting me to rant to!

OK first of all I will say I did not see the post that you are speaking of. However, there is a lot of mutual blocking involved between me and m!luca stans. And it’s nothing to do with Maria! It’s just m!luca that I don’t like, but a lot of those shippers stan Maria so unfortunately I miss out on many posts.

Here is what I will say: everyone is entitled to their opinion on liking or disliking characters. People are allowed to dislike Maria just like people are allowed to like her. I happen to like her, and I have a lot of mutuals who also do but I also have a lot who don’t. I respect their opinion. I also have mutuals who disagree on other characters sometimes, such as Max or Isobel. Fandom is not a hive mind, and people should be allowed different viewpoints without having various derogatory labels thrown at them.

I understand the frustration of some people who had hoped for a more reactionary Alex. For me, the scene was very appropriate for the kind of man he is. But I think people have the right to their own opinion on it. Some people really didn’t like the scene, others did, and that’s OK. All of our feelings at their core are borne out of love for this silly show.

I also believe in tagging things appropriately. Stuff that is anti malex shouldn’t be in the malex tag. Stuff that is anti m!luca shouldn’t be in the m!luca tag. Character hate shouldn’t be in the character tags. And overly wanky posts shouldn’t be in the main fandom tag. There is a reason that rant, drama, anti, and discourse tags exist.

Lastly, people have got to stop just throwing around the term fetishizing when it doesn’t apply and they don’t understand what it actually means. It screams performative wokeness and shows complete ignorance of queer history.

Anyway I hope you feel better after letting it out. 💙

#anon #shut up kelli #rnm wank #rnm discourse #ship drama #character hate

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canaryatlaw · 5 years

Text

okay. it’s late, obviously. and I need to go to bed. I just took my pills like 10 minutes ago though so it might be a minute before I actually get tired. but yeah, today. I think I woke up around 11, and then for like two hours waited for my sister to wake up and trying to not get annoyed because I know I’ve slept that late plenty of times, like even on this trip, but I was just kinda tense. it didn’t help that on twitter I was repeatedly seeing people doing tribute tweets to their friends or making lists of all their friends who did whatever in 2019 and I wasn’t on a single fucking one, even when people that I know they saw less than me made it and I just like.....I got really upset about it because I felt like shit and like I didn’t even have any friends, which of course I know is not true, but it felt really shitty to see people I’ve expended energy trying to befriend just straight up ignore my existence and I just felt really awful about myself. this year has unfortunately gone from meeting a lot of new friends to constantly fearing that none of them actually like me or want me to be their friend, thanks to a couple of things that have happened. and I just feel like this massively messed up person who must’ve fucked up so badly to have all these people turning against me but like, I didn’t even fucking do anything, and if people had actually been honest about stuff this could’ve all been avoided but they weren’t and now I’m the one who’s hurting because of that and it really fucking sucks when you really feel like nobody cares about you. sigh. I feel fraudulent sometimes posting about how happy I am with my life (which I am! really!) while knowing my emotional stability is not where it should be definitely could be causing an issue. and like, looking back to the beginning of this decade all I can think is 10 fucking years and so much happened and yet emotionally I’m back in the same fucking place? how did that happen? I still obviously care way too much about what people think of me when I know I shouldn’t, and placing way too much of my happiness and value into friends who clearly don’t reciprocate any of those feelings and clearly don’t care about my emotions or how any of this actually affects me. and I fucking hate that because I truly have grown so much as a person but I feel like that same fucked up kid who cared way too much about what her friends thought of her and definitely put a lot more energy and care into her friendships than she got back. and I feel so emotionally unstable and I don’t know how to deal with this because like! I’m not depressed! my overall mental health has been fine and there aren’t really any issues there, this just feels like an entirely separate area and I don’t know what to do with it. It really sucks that just when my professional life was finally getting its shit together my personal life had to fall to pieces. and I know on some level that like all this shit really means that I should be in therapy actually working through all of this, and this is so fucking hypocritical, I know, but like....I just don’t have the emotional energy to deal with going through all of that right now. It’s going to be so much work and I really just don’t want to deal with it. and that’s messed up because I’ve told so many fucking people that they should be in therapy and that it will really help them, and now I’m clearly not abiding by that, so that makes me feel shitty too. sigh. I got on way too much of a tangent here and now I’m ranting. I really need to get back on focus and actually talk about my day before I go to sleep because it’s fucking 3:30 am. anyway. eventually my sister woke up and then she had to go get her flu shot for something with her job but like all of the places they were going to didn’t have it so she didn’t even get it done, then her and her boyfriend returned and we went to the mall. it was alright, not great, and eventually she wanted to split up which I kinda knew was going to happen because we wouldn’t want to go to the same stores, but it still was annoying. I mainly wanted to get jeans and I went to Express and tried some on, but all of their jeans were still so fucking expensive (the ones on clearance were like $50, reduced from $80) and there was a super fucking long line and I just didn’t have the patience to stand through that long ass line to pay too much for a pair of jeans, so I left and concluded I’d get jeans at some other point in the future. I went to Dynamite after that because they always have stuff I like and it’s been a while since I’ve gotten anything from them, and I ended up getting a pair of work pants from them that were on sale and very nice, so I’m happy about that. after that I met back up with my sister and we headed out. back to the house, I had dinner with my parents and then watched some GBBO with them until my brother’s friends arrived. He had asked me if I wanted to go out with him and his friends tonight and I knew if I didn’t go I was just going to end up alone with my parents and feeling sorry for myself so I said what the hell and said I would. my brother is at this new assignment at work though where he’s working a 3 pm to 11 pm shift, so he still wasn’t getting off for some time yet, so my parents ended up driving me and his two friends to the bar where we chilled for a bit and talked until he arrived some time after 11. he was bringing with him this girl who he has apparently started dating (yeah, I found out on Sunday that both of my brothers are apparently dating girls, which is just fucking great for my self-esteem knowing that I’m officially the only sibling without a significant other) which I suspect is the real reason he asked if I wanted to come so she wouldn’t be the only girl there. and she was nice, honestly at this point any girlfriend is probably going to be a positive influence on his life, so unless she was really terrible I’m not going to object. I mean, honestly, his ex-girlfriend was like, the best thing that ever happened to him, but he fucked that one up and hopefully this time he’ll be a lot smarter and more mentally stable about it. I really hope he is honestly. I also really miss his ex-girlfriend since we’d gotten quite close in the time they were dating, and of course she ultimately ended up coming to me for help when things went south, so there was a lot of emotional investment there. sigh. anyway. I was having a pretty good time chatting with his friends before he got there, they were both guys he went to highschool with so I had at least in theory known them for like 12-15 years now, but never had more than like, a passing conversation with them really. one of them I’d talked to a bit over the years, I always thought he was cute but never had like a full blown crush on him or anything, but it was kinda nice getting to talk more to both of them tonight. and of course there was alcohol, and I considered maybe trying some since it’s been like 4 years since I’ve tried consuming any but then I got a whiff of the tequila shots they were doing and I swear the smell alone started giving me like minor chest pains, so that was a no. I was kinda dumb though at midnight because they were passing out little cups of champagne as the ball was dropping and I had a single sip of champagne, which again was dumb being that I just concluded I shouldn’t be drinking any alcohol, but I mean it was midnight and everyone in the bar was doing it....sigh. It kinda burned in the back of my throat for a while which was unpleasant but never moved on to the full on chest pain that’s fucking unbearable, so I’ll count that as a semi-success, definitely not a full success because it really did not leave me wanting to consume any more alcohol, but at least I wasn’t in pain over it. we ended up playing darts for a few rounds, which I’m not particularly good at but it doesn’t really matter. a little after 2 we started trying to return to my house where everyone was spending the night, but that turned into a whole debacle because this is the fucking suburbs and it’s 2 am on new years, so getting an uber was a bit difficult. my one brother’s friend had apparently worked as a lyft driver in the past so he was a bit biased towards that app and then the first driver somehow got messed up and picked up another person but it still charged his phone and he was like, so affronted by this and just not letting it go at all and it was honestly pretty funny, it was obvious the alcohol in his system was contributing to it on some level but it was still amusing. since there were 5 of us they were originally trying to get an XL which proved even more difficult, and we ended up taking two separate normal sized ubers to get home, which still took fucking forever and we didn’t end up getting home till like, almost 3 am, which was annoying. but oh well. once we got home I showered and then had to do all my pills for the week because of course I had to run out tonight, then opened my laptop and started typing this, and now I’m here like 40 minutes later because it’s just a few minutes before 4 am now because I clearly was in the mood to write a fucking novel for some reason. sigh. last 2019 post, even though it’s now 2020 the day was in 2019 so it gets the last December 2019 hashtag. alright, I really need to go to sleep now, so that’s what I’m going to do. Goodnight dears. Hope you had a very happy new year.

#daily journal #December 2019

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