#anyway. yeah i thought there was no chance of me buying any new dolls unless MAYBE they were repros

[britneyshakespeare]

Last month when I was buying makeup at Walmart for my brother's wedding I was really upset about it. Because I don't wear makeup. But there are certain things it's just not hygenic so share so I was getting shit you put in your eyes and a lipstick just to wear once and then never again. I got cheap ones but still like it sucks and for me is a complete waste of money so I felt crappy about it. To make myself feel a little bit better I went to the toy aisle to buy a Na Na Na Surprise doll that I had my eye on and was driving me crazy. It was marked down to $11 too which I had no problem justifying to myself. And by the time I was leaving the makeup aisle I saw a little kid in their mom's carriage eagerly holding. The same doll. I hope that kid is as happy with Liling Luck as I am.

[butwhatifidothis]

I did it! Finally fucking did it! I 100% the support log for 3H….Holy shit, that took longer than I was expecting, lol. 

(Long rant, so heads up.)

I came in thinking “Oh they finally time-locked the supports, so I don’t have to have the damn cursor mocking me every time I open the menu like in Awakening and Fates, hurr hurr”. No no no no no. At least for Awakening and Fates, it was on my dumb ass for pressing the S-support and saving when I knew I shouldn’t. First off, if they wanted us to regain supports for Byleth in NG+, why the heck are supports for characters like Edelgard, Rhea, Dorothea and Lindhart locked? I don’t mean time-locked like the post-TS supports in a regular playthrough, I mean deadass “you can’t buy this, period” locked. “Oh it’s because you haven’t advanced that far in the story yet”. I can buy post-TS supports for the other characters, what makes El and Rhea exceptions?! The only thing that would be lost is that I don’t have to replay their entire route to get their S-support twice. It’s not like there’s enough differences between Bylad and Bylass to warrant the supports being locked, none of the characters specify a specific gender in their dialogue, and as far as different models go, changing models during a cutscene is coded into the game, so that should be no issue.  

After going through the monastery option enough times, the hubworld is in this weird limbo state where it feels like it was made specifically for Byleth’s benefit (faculty training, recruiting party members, etc,) but the rest of the party seems to benefit from it instead (Instructions, Motivation points, etc). The Explore vs Battle options just don’t mix well, which feels like poor design choice. You can focus on auxiliary battles to raise your party’s level, but at the cost of potentially missing out on more party members. You can instead focus on the monastery to recruit party members, but at the cost of Byleth falling behind due to splitting activity points between recruiting and faculty training, and being in the monastery means less time grinding for levels. This isn’t as much of a problem in NG+, but if a game needs NG+ to lessen a design problem, then that’s more of a sign to me that the idea itself needed more ironing out. 

 As far as using the monastery to raise support points goes, the hubworld definitely needs a revamp. The only (good) options available are Meal Time and Choir Practice, with the latter being limited to once per week and the former making me think that the monastery must eat their own weapons to survive due to how fucking scarce food ingredients are. Getting meat and fish isn’t too big of an issue so long as you have enough money, but produce might as well be an urban legend. There were too many times where I had 60+ fish/meat, but produce was at fucking 1. I get that they wanted to be “realistic” in having seeds grow once per week, but if it’s at the cost of a gameplay element being nigh unplayable, then some more thought needs to be put into it. Sothis is a goddess of life and time, maybe her powers allow Byleth to make plants grow faster. Just something to make this section actually playable. 

The final thing I wanted to talk about when it comes to the monastery is that, for some baffling reason, it is entirely possible to lock yourself out of key events like S-supports or being able to choose CF, simply by skipping to the end of the month. I’m not sure why this is a thing. It’s not like the game was designed with speedruns in mind (I mean, it is possible to beat a route in an hour, but fuck me if I ever succeeded in that), and nothing happens like a prompt popping up that you have to explore the monastery during that month or even limiting your options to just Explore (which the game has done before). This is especially weird for the quest in getting Jeralt’s ring (how to access S-supports), since Byleth is supposed to be sad in this month, so not being able to do seminars or Byleth being undeployable during auxiliary battles would make sense. 

The option to choose CF is even worse though, because at least for Jeralt’s ring it’s a Red Quest that doesn’t allow you to finish exploring unless you complete it. For Edelgard, however? A dime-a-dozen quest prompt you can entirely look over and skip. No prompt by the game, no indication to talk to Edelgard, nothing. FFS, Rhea’s tea time quest was given more thought. At least her quest marker is a unique color. 

(End of rant…sort of) 

…So anyways, that was my experience with the game, lmao. Now you or someone else may be thinking, “nonnie, if you had this many problems completing the game, why did you bother?”, and the answer to that good question is…I’m not completely sure, lol. I know there’s more than one reason why, so bear with me here. I know part of it is due to sunk-cost fallacy (“I’m already this far into the game, I might as well fully complete it”), but I think a bigger reason is because I knew ahead of time that the routes were so similar to each other that there was little point in having a route split to begin with (except for CF, but who gives a fuck about that?). Despite all of my bitching, I do really like 3H even if I admit that it’s my least favorite FE game that I’ve played so far. I guess a part of me just wanted to like the game more despite my issues with it. 

Now that I think about it, maybe the main reason was for fear of future mainline games. People are fear to like whatever part of a game that they wish, but I do think that 3H introduced some fundamental storytelling flaws that I’d rather not see repeated in the future, with me focusing on 3 in particular: 1) The Monastery, 2) Route Splits and 3) Byleth. 

Aside from what I already talked about in regards to the monastery, if we are going to get another hubworld in the new FE title, have it to where it doesn’t conflict with how the rest of the story is presented. Is it better to simply tell us that the Western Church is xenophobic in an easily skippable side quest early on, or is it better to show us? Enemy Western Church NPCs going after foreign party members like Dedue or Petra more aggressively and calling them “animals” or the like, the map having Duscari NPCs locking themselves indoors for fear that the Western Church will persecute them, things of that nature. Is it better to tell us that there has been civil unrest in the Empire and the citizens revolting against Edelgard, or is it better to show us? Enemy Adrestian Civilian NPCs, assassins specifically going after Edelgard in a map, maybe one where a large farmland has been stripped bare. Things like that. 

I’d rather do away with the Persona-calendar/Monastery hubworld, but if they are here to stay then they need enough content in it to keep the player engaged for 20-odd chapters, because there isn’t enough content in Garreg Mach to even hold up 12 chapters. Speaking of more content, if there’s going to be another route split in the next title, then there needs to be enough differences in the routes that actually warrants having a route split. Fates already did this well in having the route split be early in the game, along with the plot and story maps of each route being different, you could even skip to the route split moment on subsequent playthroughs, so 3H’s approach in having to play the same 12 chapters 3-4 times just felt like a massive downgrade. Playing multiple routes should feel rewarding rather than tedious, is what I’m trying to say. 

Finally, and most importantly, I know that no one at IS is reading this but on the off chance that someone is - please, for the love of God, do not make another blank-slate/self insert main character like Byleth. Or at the very least, don’t have them be the focal point of the story, it’s a big reason why AM just works better than the other routes. For a game like FE, “self-insert” and “protagonist” goes as well as oil and water. Now, out of those three flaws listed, the Byleth one is what I’m hard set on. The monastery and route split flaws, my opinion might be flexible within reason, but the Byleth one…not so much, lol. If we really do get another self-insert doll for a main character, that alone is going to make the next game a hard sell for me, because seeing all the praise Byleth got (and has been getting) makes me fear that IS is going to take the wrong lesson from this and think they don’t have to put effort in making their protagonist anything resembling an actual person and their audience will still lap it up. It would be one thing if I just hated the character, but I don’t. I’m disappointed, which is even worse.

…With that said, it’s still better than whatever the heck Cap’n’Crunch is doing. Okay, rant over. For real this time.

—

I agree with a lot said here! But I do have a few disagreements, though they’re mostly my opinion than anything else lol

And this first one is probably like, extremely unpopular given how much shit I’ve seen flung at this aspect of 3H, but like… I actually really like the Monastery? Like yes, absolutely, it should have done more to not shelter the player from how bad the war is and it should change more with the world instead of being in this mostly limbo state where apparently seasons don’t real. I definitely also have those complaints, but to me, the Monastery was fine for the most part. A lot of the issues you brought up, like supports and Faculty Training and supplies for eating, weren’t a problem for me almost at all. My only real gripe is with how hard it is for Byleth to get training in Flying, Mounted and especially Heavy Armor without NG+ unlocking weapons ranks, since they don’t have access to Weekly Chores. I do believe I still managed to recruit everyone while only unlocking C in Faith on my Maddening playthrough of GD, but it certainly wasn’t easy. But I feel a lot of the problem people have with it are on subsequent playthroughs where they’re trying to do things like 100% any aspect of 3H, which yeah is gonna exacerbate the issues tenfold. Cuz like, while those three weapons ranks I mentioned are hard for Byleth to raise, on Normal mode you have unlimited auxiliary battles to help with all the other ones. 

Like, I wanted to get Claude’s Dex to the max amount right? Just cuz I felt like it. And in doing that I found out just how tedious it is to get levels once a unit gets to a certain point, just cuz while Normal Mode gives you the Retreat option that lets you keep exp so you can drop a unit down on a yellow spot and get a decent boost in exp… you can do that like, twice or thrice on a story chapter. Once if it’s auxiliary (and not the freebie one). And that’s if you even have internet. And using the greenhouse to get Ailiell Pomegranates was a pain because they weren’t really guaranteed even if I used nothing but the right seed - doing that is more consistent, but not always, and I usually only got one anyway. It was annoying! But I was also doing a specific thing that’s gonna heighten the flaws in the system that I never would have noticed - didn’t even notice - unless I did that. The flaws are still there, don’t get me wrong! The Monastery definitely still needs improvement, battles still need to be a little more streamlined for future playthrough, but the flaws can seem a bit bigger than they are once you do certain things outside of a casual playthrough, know what I mean?

But, for example, when replaying 3H on hard mode and looking to recruit everyone after my no recruitment run, I didn’t come across any dilemma over “recruitment or Byleth being good, pick one.” That was the run my Byleth was usable, in fact - my first blind run that was no recruitment (save for Shamir) had my Byleth be pretty much completely useless while literally everyone else was fine. Also never came across problems with supplies for cooking (or at least not any big enough to comment on). So like, while these (and the above stuff) can certainly be problems for players trying to do everything everything in 3H, at least from my experience I just haven’t come across them. The monastery itself definitely needed a better story implementation, but yeah. I could’ve just been lucky tho lmao

I don’t mind how they implemented trying to get on CF at all tho lol. If you’ve been playing the game like it suggests you do - supporting characters and exploring the monastery  there’s no reason for players to have missed getting on CF. If players wanted to ignore one of the biggest aspects of the game I don’t really feel that bad for them when they miss out on very achievable things. Plus, CF’s requirements are nothing in terms of FE’s madness when it comes to getting on a route. It may be more specific than any other route, but like I said, playing the game as the game tells you to would naturally land you in it (the only thing that might be a bit unfair is that I think if you talk with Edelgard at all that month you have to decide right then and there, and then the whole month is lost. Kinda ass). 

Binding Blade, for example, requires you to do specific things that few first time players would think to do in multiple, random chapters in order for you to get the best ending. With absolutely no warning as to when these chapters happen and what to do in them. And some of these requirements are not fun lmao, I’d prefer how they did it with CF than with how they’ve handled ~secret~ stuff before personally

Pretty much agree with everything else though! While 3H is actually one of my more favored games in the series, I’ll be the first to admit that its storytelling is in dire need of improvement. Having the story and lore of the game just be spat out in lore dumps and this or that NPC just isn’t that good. Or if they are going to do that, at the very least give some visuals to go along with it! Imagine how much impactful Rhea’s story would have been if it was in a visual format, like CGs and/or a cutscene. It still would be an info dump, but at least we can see for ourselves how horrific the Red Canyon was for her! And I do not want another avatar in whatever next mainline game we get, personality or not. We’ve evolved past the need for self-inserts that all the characters Just Like lmao

But thanks for sharing your thoughts!! And sorry that it took so long for me to get to answering ;w; 

[headquarters90]

A God's Swear (Warrior of the Crown 11)

Pairing: Darkiplier x French Goddess!Reader

Words: 2,078

Warnings: N/A

Series Masterlist Read This Discord Server

A/N: Hey guys! Go read this post (NSFW is in this) please! Thank you ^.^

“The chances are-”

“-Slim, I’m aware, Angel, but unless mother can come up with something, we have to take the risk,” you answered, glancing up from your tablet. “Anyways, you said you were here for business?”

“Yes, it came to André’s attention that some of your men might need to be retrained,” she replied, taking a seat in one of your chairs across from your desk. “And Auntie needs to know if you’re still able to handle judgements. She doesn’t want to put too much on you right now.”

“I’m-”

“-okay, we know,” Angel snorted. “It was only a matter of time before we got that from you. However, you know just as well as us that if you get stressed enough, you’ll find yourself in those moments.”

Your eyes lifted to meet hers before they shifted to the door as Dark stepped in, his nose scrunching at the sight of your sister.

“You would think he would get over Gods being here, since it’s our territory now,” Angel hummed as she glanced back at him. “You two-”

“Angel,” you warned out of habit before you noticed how Dark seemed to relax a bit more after that.

I believe he’s completely new to anything romantic, Sébastian mused and you shook your head at the Monstre before meeting Angel’s eyes once more.

“Sébastian has taken on some of my roles, especially the ones dealing with Noir. I can still handle judgements on top of our current situation,” you spoke. “Tell Auntie thank you but I got it figured out. As for the training, send a list and I’ll have Maxence send out the orders.”

Your eyebrows furrowed, lifting your eyes to Angel who shrugged in response, and Sébastian hummed in the back of your head.

Time for a favor from Juliette and the Hellhounds, don’t you think?

“Sébastian,” you spoke, your eyes glancing over to the side as the Monstre appeared beside you, “I think it’s time you pay some friends a visit.”

~

“Are you sure you want to do this, Y/N?” Juliette Pierre questioned over the phone. “You may hate the results.”

“No choice in the matter, Juliette.” Your eyes lifted to Apollo’s as you watched the God set books on your desk. “Summon me or Sébastian and we’ll be there for results when you have them as fast as possible.”

“Will do.”

You gave each other your goodbyes before you set your phone down, your hands reaching out for the books. Your nose scrunched as you lifted your eyes to Apollo’s once more.

“The next task you get, sweetheart, comes to me, Anti, or Dark, you hear me?” He warned and you raised an eyebrow at him. “Got it?”

“Yeah, got it.”

“You swear it?”

Your eyes drifted towards the new presence in the room, Dark standing at the open door and Anti wasn’t far behind him.

“You three agreed upon this?”

“Y/N, do you swear it?” Apollo repeated as your hands hovered over the books you needed.

If he had asked for a promise, you would have easily agreed to it but a swear, a God’s swear, was a different story.

Promises could be broken and have no repercussions, the worst thing to happen was hurting someone. A God’s swear? That had many repercussions – the worst one being that whoever you swore too had the ability to have you has a servant. You doubted any of the three would do that to you but it’s not often a God had to swear.

“Y/N?”

“Apollo, I ca-”

“Goddess.”

You tensed for a moment, recognizing that tone of voice before you were lifting your eyes to meet Dark’s.

Please.

You froze, eyes wide as you stared at the entity who raised an eyebrow back at you. You knew that voice and you knew it was Sébastian’s, it wasn’t even Monique’s. It was his.

I’ll explain when I get back, Sébastian rushed out and you watched as his eyebrows furrowed for a moment before realization flashed through his eyes.

“Doll?”

You jerked forward just a bit as your eyes shifted over to Anti and you winced for a moment before your eyes went back to Dark’s.

“I swear,” you murmured and watched a flicker of pride flash through his eyes. Feeling your cheeks warm up, you adverted your eyes, grasping the books as a chuckle left Apollo’s lips.

“Never thought I’d see you flustered, sweetheart.”

A noise left you as you felt your cheeks grow hotter and you narrowed your eyes at Apollo whose grin widened.

“Go away.”

“Nah, I want to tease you some more.”

Another noise left you before you gathered the books off your desk as you stood. You shot a glare over at Apollo as laughter left his lips.

“Didn’t think you would be this easy to tease, sweetheart,” Apollo admitted and you stared at him. “What?”

“How many relationships do you think I’ve been in?”

“Oh, so you two are in a relationship!”

“No! Wait, that’s not what I- Apollo!” A scowl found your lips as Anti began to join him in the laughter and a sigh left Dark’s lips.

“That’s enough of that,” Dark spoke up and Apollo hummed.

“Jumping to your lo-ow! That really hurt!” Apollo scowled over at you, rubbing the spot on his arm that you struck.

“What is going on here?” Sébastian’s amused voice drifting into the room and you and Dark both looked at him with a scowl. “Hello to you too.”

“Can you two give us a moment?” You questioned, looking between Apollo and Anti. “Sébastian needs to talk to Dark and I.”

“Awe, we can’t stick around?”

“No.” Dark stared at Apollo who pouted in response before pointing at you.

“You owe me.”

“I’ll buy you dinner when this blows over.”

“That’s two dinner dates now!” Apollo sung as he headed out the door, giving Anti a shove first.

“They’re not dates!” You objected after him and heard the crackling of his laugh ringing through the halls.

“You know Apollo doesn’t care,” Sébastian mused and you scrunched your nose, watching as he shut the door behind him. “I’m sure your mind has already figured it out, Y/N.”

“It has to do with the ring, doesn’t it?” You questioned, your eyes meeting your uncle’s. “Which makes sense when you think about it. It took how long after I got the ring for us to be connected? Well, it makes sense that you and Dark can communicate that way but how can Dark and I?”

“If you really tried, you could communicate with your mother,” Sébastian hummed, his eyes glancing over at Dark as the entity leaned back against your desk. “However, it could also be that you two are connected that way because you both wear one of my rings. Well, you did at one point but Ares currently holds it.”

“Hades should be by with more crystals so I can make Ares one soon,” you murmured, your eyes glancing over at Dark, watching the annoyed look past through his eyes.

“Good, don’t want to be connected to that-”

“Sébastian!”

~

“Look, I know where you’re getting at, Y/N, but Flinn says he can’t tell anyone and, before you suggest it, I already brought it up to him about asking but he says the Source doesn’t allow anyone to go see them,” Ivy stated over the phone and you scrunched your nose as you paced in front of the library window.

“They’re the oldest Pantheon and not even Warriors can speak to them,” you sighed and was met with silence. “Ivy?”

“You really haven’t gotten far in reading that book of yours, have you?”

“Which one?” You furrowed your eyebrows, glancing towards the table where Dark, Apollo, and Anti sat. Anti met your gaze with a raised eyebrow, Apollo shrugged, and Dark glanced back at you for a moment before returning to the book in front of him.

“Warriors of the Source, the one you have to keep up on,” Ivy hummed and you could hear a quiet click, signifying she had locked herself – and probably Ryan – in a room for no interruptions.

“I’ve read it beginning to end, Ivy.”

“Then you need to read it again, because you, Angel, pretty much anyone that deals, or dealt in your case, with life or death all started somewhere and, between me and you, they didn’t start with Gods.”

“What?”

“Hell, did Dark make you go dumb?” Ivy snorted as your pacing came to a stop. “When you get the chance, look up Evacska Consano and Sephtis Proeliator.”

“Ivy, what do you know that I don’t know?”

“Life, Death, and even Fate Gods, Y/N? They all have one thing in common.”

“How?”

A sigh was heard from the other side of the phone and your pacing began back up until an arm blocked your way. Lifting your eyes, you met Dark’s who raised an eyebrow at him.

He knows you’re beginning to stress, niece, Sébastian spoke gently as murmurs began through the phone.

“You didn’t hear this from me,” a new voice drifted into the phone and you furrowed your eyebrows. “Flinn would just sigh and shake his head if he knew I told you, girly.”

“How come I’m not surprised, Jay?” You questioned and a chuckle flooded the phone. “What didn’t I hear?”

“As Ivy stated, Life, Death, and Fate Gods all share one thing and that one this is ancestors,” he answered.

“Ancestors?”

“Yes, not long after Sins were made, the Source made another race. There was no name to the race back then. Back then, magic users were royalty and no one was afraid of them like they are today. Today, we call this race the Personifications. We don’t believe they are alive today but there is a possibility.”

“Evacska Consano and Sephtis Proeliator were one,” you concluded and met Dark’s gaze again before watching as he turned to glare at the two teasing at the table – the only two, aside from Sébastian, that knew that there was…something going on.

You two really needed to talk more about it.

“They were, yes. Evacska was the Personification of Life and Sephtis was of Death. While they tried to stay away from each other, they failed – mainly because Evacska wasn’t supposed to become Life but her mother had died giving birth today and the Personification of Destiny had crafted Evacska and Sephtis to be soulmates, on request on Evacska’s mother.”

“They had a child and this child has something to do with Fate, don’t they?”

“You’re correct. Forget that you’re a quick learn,” Jay hummed. “He did. Kyrell, he became the first God, thanks to Evacska and Sephtis, and he became God of New Fate.”

“I’m guessing that I’m supposed to get that Angel, my aunt, mother, and I all have it in us to know how to kill Azazel?”

“All I’m saying is that if there is someone out there who knows how to kill anyone, it would be those related to them. I said Personifications are believed to be dead.”

“Kyrell isn’t a Personification.”

“Atta girl! No wonder Ivy likes being friends with you. Do me a favor and tell-”

“I am not telling Hera hello for you. She doesn’t like me. Visit her yourself.” You rolled your eyes, listening to Apollo snort as the phone was past back to Ivy. “I’ll be going on a hunt.”

“So you will. Let me know if you need help.”

Biding a goodbye, a sign left your lips as you turned towards Dark, your eyes glancing over his shoulder at Apollo.

“So, who wanted you to say hello to Hera?”

“You know the hero that went to get the Golden Fleece from that King for another King?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s who. Ivy’s uncle…and cousin technically.”

“What’s he the Sin of?”

“Homosexual relations.”

“Yikes, poor Medea. Wonder how Hecate took that.”

You gave a shrug to the God before a sigh left your lips once more. As you opened your mouth to say something, the swear you made came back to you and your eyes moved to meet Dark’s who let out a soft grunt.

You’re working on the same task, Goddess, came his answer to your unspoken question and you nodded, looking back at Apollo who raised an eyebrow.

“Apollo, how far back do your history books go?”

“How far back are you needing?”

“If I understand correctly, I’m going to need to go as far back as Pastros.”

[jonghoshoe]

What kind of subs are ateez ;)

I’m going to fucking SIMP for u ma’am. 

Hongjoong-Pain slut

Seonghwa-Vocal and expressive

Yunho-A good lil puppy

Yeosang-Experimentalist 

San-Degradee

Mingi-Pillow princess

Wooyoun-Whiny brat

Jongho-Needy and clingy

Hongjoong: It may just be our personal bias bc we do love talking about wrecking him a lot. But Hongjoong definitely seems like a pain slut. I’m talkin whipping, slapping, knife stuff, bruises, hickeys, pulling on his collar or ropes really tight, throwing him around, fucking obliterating his tiny little cock. All of it. If he hasn't cried at least once by the end of your session then you haven’t treated him badly enough, he will literally beg you to hurt him. He wants to be all marked up and proudly displayed as yours, he wants people to wonder who the hell beat him up and for him to be able to say that you just give him everything he wants. He may be the sub, and the one being hurt, but we all know he wouldn’t be like that if you didn't have complete trust in eachother. Your trust that he can handle it, and his trust that you’ll follow through but will listen when he asks you to stop. (which he rarely does anyway)

Seonghwa: You’ve seen his stage presence right? If he isn’t super vocal and expressive then I’ll eat the ropes I wanna tie him down with! Seonghwa tries to insist he’s a dom, he really tries. And sure, sometimes he is. But he fits being a sub so much better. He’s just so naturally loud when you get him in bed, you can try and tell him to be quiet, but even with a gag on it’s the equivalent of putting a pillow in front of a stereo. You fuck him and he’s all loud moans and shouts, tease him and it’s high pitched whimpers and whines, edge him and it’s nonsensical babbling and he occasionally manages to get out a beg or two. Chances are you’ll have to tie him down if you plan to tease him, it’s not that he tries to move a lot. He’s just so incredibly expressive and he can’t control himself. He won’t admit that he likes the robe burns he gets from it though, or the bruises from where you’re holding him down. But he loves it, trust me. 

Yunho: Probably just personal bias again, but Yunho is a good little puppy! He definitely seems into petplay and loves when you call him your good pup, please buy this boy a collar he will never take it off without you telling him to, he’ll even sleep in it! He loves to be told he’s doing good so he does his absolute best to abide by your rules so something is extremely wrong if he acts out. It’s very rare that he does though, he wants to be your best puppy after all! He’ll try his best at anything you ask of him, no matter how impossible it sounds. He’s really bad at keeping quiet though, he’s just too sensitive. The lowest he can go is little whines and whimpers but you’ll never get full silence from him. He doesn’t know his own limits though, he wants to be good so bad that he rarely uses his safeword even when he should, so you’ll have to get good at noticing the tells of when things are too much for him. He’s so scared of disappointing you so if you have to stop you’ll need to remind you he’s your good and only pup and that he still did a good job.

Yeosang: Yeosang will try absolutely everything under the sun, and moon, and stars, and planets, and universe, and galaxies- He’ll do it all okay. You can't go a week without him coming to you with a new thing he wants to try. You starts pretty vanilla so there was a lot to work through. ‘’Hey, can you try tying me up?’’ ‘’I just learned people get off on being choked- wanna do it to me?’’ ‘’We should totally do something in public, i’ll be good I swear!’’ ‘’I’ve really been interested in whipping recently, wanna go buy one?’’ ‘’Hey, wanna try that golden shower thing? It could be really hot!’’ ‘’Let’s try edging! I bought a cock ring and everything!’’ ‘’I really wanna try vibrators, will you use one on me?’’ ‘’Hey you should try humiliating me, I wanna see what all the fuss is about.’’ ‘’Heyheyhey- let’s try cbt!’’ ‘’Can I call you daddy/mommy next time?’’ ‘’Hey we should try fisting!’’ and it goes on and on and on and- Yeah, he’s pretty adventurous. And chances are he’ll end up liking most things that you try. 

San: Listen. He gets so much praise in his daily life, from fans, the group, the media. It’s nice and all, but it can get a little boring, especially when it's only what he does publicly (being privately praised is a whole nother thing). So he loves some heavy degradation, especially if it’s paired with some pain too. Call hi any degrading name you can think of and you’ll have him squirming in minutes. Especially if you call him a slut, specifically your slut. Tell him how he’s moving too much, ‘’What, is my little whore so sensitive he can’t keep still?’’ how he’s being too loud, ‘’You need to quiet down darling, sluts should be seen, not heard.’’, how he’s not doing enough for you, ‘’Look at you, all fucked out. I’m disappointed, I thought you could take more than that.’’ Of course, after something so intense you’ll need aftercare, to remind him that none of that was true and he’s very much a good boy. But he absolutely can’t deny how painfully hard he gets in the moment. 

Mingi: It’s not that he’s lazy- okay maybe a little. But he just loves being so pliant for you, a nice little doll for you to use. Unless you specifically order otherwise, he’s perfectly content to just lay there and let you have your way with him. You wanna tie him down and tease him for hours on end? Alright. Wanna fuck him with a vibrator and watch him squirm? Sounds great! Wanna fuck his throat with your fingers, a cock or strapon/dildo? Please do. He mostly just lays there when you fuck him, not because he doesn’t want to do much, he’s just so sensitive that he’s blissed out within the first five minutes of you touching him. He just lays there, glossy eyed with a dumb smile on his face as you throw him around, moaning and whining at it all. He goes deep into subspace really easily though, and since he isn't moving much and won’t give you any verbal cues, you’ll need to check in on him every so often to make sure he’s doing okay. 

Wooyoung: Good luck domming him without a fight, this little shit is the brattiest sub you’ll ever meet. He talks back constantly and absolutely refuses to follow your rules. But he must be a glutton for punishment because he keeps doing it. And he’s fucking loud too. He’s such a whiner. Kissing him? He’s whining. Biting him? Whining and huffing. Fingering him? Whining and moaning. Punishing him? Whining, moaning, groaning, and more whining. Fucking him? Whining and screaming, maybe some panting in there too. You can't do anything with people nearby because he just can't keep quiet. You still haven’t lived down the time you grabbed his ass around the rest of the members and he whined like a wounded kitten. At this point he doesn’t even try to keep quiet anymore. He'll climb into your lap during dinner, a movie, literally anything and he’ll whine when he brushes up against you, as if it hadn’t been his plan all along. You’ve gotta admire his dedication though, despite his misbehaving, he takes every punishment you give with only minimal, playful hesitation. 

Jongho: I know he’s our cute and soft maknae and all and you were probably expecting me to defy expectations. But he really does give off needy and clingy sub vibes. You absolutely cannot restrain him or he will cry, and not in a good way. He wants to touch you, for you to touch him, to be held. He doesn’t care but please give him skin on skin contact, or clothes on clothes contact- anything. Just always touch him or let him touch you in some way to let him ground himself. Jongho is always touching you and always going to you for comfort. If he’s having a particularly bad day then there’s not a moment where he isn’t holding your hand. If he’s really overwhelmed then he’ll practically beg to be held. (not that you’d let him get to that stage because you’re not a monster). Your dom/sub dynamic extends far beyond the bedroom so he’s always dependant on you and looks to you for permission to do things. Please treat him well, he will literally follow you to the ends of the very much round earth. 

[mouse507]

I Want To Be Your Man Ringo X Reader part 2

Hey, this took a while to upload I'm sorry. I'm in the process of opening a show and dealing with midterms in highschool.

Warnings: some kissy kissy

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It was around 5 pm the next day. "Maybe I should get dressed now..." You stood up from your bed, and walked to your closet. You wanted to wear a nicer shirt today. Not to impress Ritchie or anything, but you also didn't want him or his friends to think you were strange.Some mascara wouldnt hurt either you told yourself. Or lipgloss. By the time you finished picking out a nice outfit and putting on makeup it was around 6. You couldn't remember if Ritchie was picking you up at 7 or 8, but it's better to be ready than wrong.

You walked downstairs to grab a drink and and some money. After grabbing a glass of water, you sat down at the kitchen table. Your mom looked up from her coffee and newspaper to look at you. She had a big smile painted on her face, "So, Y/n. who's that boy you hung out with yesterday?" She asked.

"Oh, him. He's new to his neighborhoodd, and I wanted him to feel welcome here. He and I, and maybe some friends, are going to the movies later today. I-if that's alright, I mean," you asked looking down into your glass of water.

"Of course! Just make sure you're home by 10." Mom said.

"Thanks, Mum," you finished your water and

"But no funny business, make sure you stay safe."

"Yes Ma'am "

I waited in the living room until he arrived, it wouldn't be for another hour or so. You read a bit more of the book being read in class, trying to catch up before school started back up. You were touching up your mascara when the door was knocked on.

"Bye Mom I'm leaving!" You yelled from the living room as you grabbed the money from the counter, and shoved it in your pockets.

"Bye sweetie, be safe!" she yelled after me.

"I will!" You stopped to take one more look in the mirror before opening the door.

Ritchie pulled up with his friends and they were jokingly pushing him out of the car to go knock on your door. "Go get the doll then won't you?" said Paul as pulled his collar up around his neck. John lit a match and put it to his cigarette, "Yeah hot shot, go show us this girl you've been talking about. Work your moves," He laughed at their foolishness.

"I will, I will. But promise don't be stupid,"

"Yeah, that'll be hard for 'em," a high pitched blonde girl spoke to him. This was Paul's girl for the evening, her name was Chloe, or Katy, or lilac, something of that manner. Paul sighed and rolled his eyes.

John and Paul had been friends with Ringo for a few years, and usually dragged him around to all kinds of things. Tonight, they were seeing a horror movie, with Paul and his newest lucky lady for the night, and you.

Ritchie walked up to your door, took a breath, and slicked his hair back. He checked himself in the reflection of the glass in your front door, then finally knocked, putting his hands in his pockets. You opened the door and stared up at him, "Hey love, ready to go?" He said. He looked at you up and down. You looked stunning to him, you thought you just looked nice, but to him you were gorgeous.

Your clothes made you seem so bright and lovely, and your hair framed your face so well. Your eyes sparkled from your porch light, and your hands looked so soft and delicate. You thought he looked good aswell, really good. His hair was slicked back, he had a black jacket on, really tight pants, and a smile that was so warm and inviting. You thought he glowed in the dark, and he thought you were a ball of light.

"Yep, ready to go," you broke the silence, it was a nice, comfortable silence though, so you almost felt bad for breaking it. You closed the door behind and walked with him to the car. "Y/n this is John and Paul. And uh, Katy." He said opening the door for you. "It's Lily!" The girl in the back shouted. "Right.. he mumbled. John and Paul waved at you, "Right how are you love," asked John as he started up his car.

"I'm lovely, thanks" you said watching Ritchie open the door for you.

You slid in, and Ritchie cane in after you. John had one of those typical no-roof-black cars. All three of the boys seemed to be your average greasers: black leather jackets, cigarettes, slicked back hair, and a really nice car. You felt out of place, everyone was wearing all black and seemed so, cool. Here you were, wearing something bright and childish.

Ritchie thought you looked lovely as the odd one out. You seemed to be the only one who put any thought into what they were wearing. He appreciated the effort you put in. He started thinking to himself, did you think this was a date? He didn't know if it was or not, he definitely liked you. He learned he liked you ever since you took him around the neighborhood. He likes how you care about things, you make everything seem personal to you.

"So, Y/n, how long have you known Ringo?" Said John.

"Ringo? Ooh Ritchie! Just for a few days. By the way, I really appreciate you letting me come with you guys."

Paul started laughing and mocked you "Ritchie" he said very quietly. John hit him in the arm, "You're welcome Y/n, we don't mind it." You couldn't hear him mock you, but you felt bad that he was laughing at you. Ritchie whispered to you, "Ignore them, they're pricks at first. They wanna see if they can scare you off." Ringo leaned back into the seat and lit a cigarette.

"Thanks," you whispered back at him. The car ride had been so long, that you hadn't noticed Ringo's arm ending up around your shoulders. He felt warm, it made you forget that is was 40 degrees outside and windy. We pulled up the drive in, and you sat up. Ringo moved his arm from around you, and straightened his back up some. Suddenly the silence wasn't comfortable anymore.

You remembered that this wasn't a date, this was just you getting a chance to meet Ritchie's friends. Well Ringo I guess, however that name came about. Ringo threw his cigarette butt on the ground as John pulled into a spot near the back. Ritchie coughed, "I'm gonna go get some snacks, want anything Y/n?"

"Oh, a Coke would be lovely actually," you reached in your pocket and handed Ritchie a dollar.

"Oh don't worry about it, I'll pay for it," he stated pushing your hand back.

"Are you sure? I'll feel bad,"

"Honestly Y/n, it's fine, you don't need to feel bad. I want to pay" he chuckled.

"Fine, but no more, I'll pay for my stuff from now on." You didn't want him buying you your food, this isn't a date. Unless he thought it was a date, then it's definitely a date. But he hasn't said it was date, so you declared that it wasn't.

He laughed "Alright alright, just let me get this," he turned towards the snack booth and walked off. Paul and Lily had left and we're arguing over something. John turned around to you.

"Well, enjoying yourself so far?" He spoke up Turing himself around in his chair.

"Yes actually, thank you for taking me" you said and leaned back against your seat. You were tense from the awkward moment before pulling in.

"So Y/n, I heard you like rock and roll?"

"Um yeah actually, how'd you know that?" You seemed dumbfounded, you only listened to music in your room. And with Ritchie.

"Oh god, Ringo Doesn't shut up about you. Your favorite band, what book you're reading, even what the hell you wear," he turned back around as Ringo came back with a glass bottle of coke for you, and one for him.

'He talked about me' You thought. You smiled to your self and looked at Ringo, "Thanks, 'Ringo'," you said as you opened your bottle.

He chuckled at you, "You're welcome,"

"What kind of movie is this anyway," you asked him.

"Oh eh, one of them scary ones. I hope that's alright, I mean if not we can leave!" He looked at you. He hit him self mentally, he didn't know if you liked scary movies or not. He should've asked you if you wanted to see that kind of movie, before you left with him.

"Oh yeah that's fine! I love scary movies," you smiled and took a sip of your drink. Ringo sighed in relief.

The lights around the drive in began to go out as the screen turned a bright white. You and Ringo sat in the middle of the back seat watching the movie start. Paul and Lily gone to another friends car to go talk for a bit, and ended up staying there to watch the movie.

The intro seemed very long, and it made you begin to really notice your surroundings. Like how cold it was, it was a fairly windy might and it had snowed the night before. You ignored it though, it would go away eventually. Ringo, on the other hand, noticed your shivering.

"Y/n are you ok? You're shivering. Oh, want my jacket?" He asked as he grabbed at his leather jacket.

"Um...yes actually. I'm quite cold." You rubbed your arms to create some heat.

He took his jacket off and wrapped it around you. You curled yourself up in it, and enjoyed howe its warmth. It smelled like him, cigarettes and cologne, and was fuzzy on the inside. Ritchie was left in a tight white T-shirt, that fit his arms very well, and black jeans. He looked, really good. You just wanted to lay in his chest and fall asleep, taking him in. You caught yourself staring," Um Y/n you ok?" He waved his hand in your face.

"Oh yeah, but um... aren't you cold?" You asked pointing at his lack of a jacket.

"No I'll be fine, it's not that cold for me anyways." You focus went back to the movie. The movie itself had a pretty ok story, but it also had you average bad actors and special effects. Once again, you isn't noticed Ringo's arm make its way back around your shoulders. You didn't mind it, it was still cold to you, and you leaned into him to get warmer. He liked your being close to him, he was a bit chilly and you being next to him warmed him a bit. He played with your hair, twirling bits of it in his fingers, he also rubbed his hand on your arm and leaned his head on yours.

"I'll be right back, gonna go get something to eat." said John. He got out of the car and walked away, leaving you and Ritchie in the car by yourself. John noticed how close you two were getting, so he left to get food and hangout with Paul for a bit.

"So, Y/n what do you think of the movie?" Ringo asked you.

"Oh well it's got your basic special effects, and the actors are just god awful. But it's nice nonetheless." You smiled at him. You sat back up, making your hips touch. Ritchie laughed.

"Yeah it's not the best. But I'm glad you're here," he smiled at you. That smile could make you do cartwheels if it asked you to.

You noticed his lips, soft and light pink. You bit your own as looked at him. The two of you had slowly leaned into each other, you could feel his breath on your cheek. His breath was warm, which was a nice contrast to cold aie around you He leaned in and closed the space between you, it was warm, and his lips felt like clouds. You moved your hand to the side of his face, and he put his on your hips.

The kiss was ended quickly, as you pulled back and looked at him. "That was um...nice," you hut yourself mentally, could you not think of anything better to say.

"It was..." You leaned back into him under his arm, and closed your eyes. There was since for a long time, about 20 minutes. The entire time all you thought of was the way his lips felt on yours, and how warm he was. He made you feel light inside, like a ball of fuzz.

Ringo thought about how his lips fit yours, like a puzzle piece. And how cold your hand felt on his VERY hot face. You couldn't see it but he was lit up like a Christmas tree, and your cold hand calmed his blush. He thought you under his arm, wrapped in his jacket made you the most precious thing to him.

"Ritchie?" You spoke up.

"Yeah Y/n?" He looked down at you, and rubbed your arm.

"Is this a date?"

He thought about it, was it? It didn't start out as one, but he guessed it was now.

"Yeah, it's a date."

You smiled to yourself, you worried over nothing. This was your first date and it turned out fantastic. At the end of the movie, John dropped you and Ritchie off in your neighborhood. Ritchie had talked to John to dropped you off ways from your house so he could talk to you a bit before leaving you for the night.

As you walked down the sidewalk, you pulled the jacket close around you. "Thanks Ritchie..." You looked at your feet as you walked.

"What for?"

"For a very nice first date," you looked over at him and stopped in front of your house. "and for walking me home."

He smiled at you, and looked at his feet. "You're welcome...Y/n can I um. Can I kiss you again?"

You chuckled and stepped towards him, "Yes, you may," you leaned in and kissed him, wrapping your arms around his neckas he put both his hands on your hips, pulling you closer. After he pulled back, you leaned your forehead on his, and smiled at him.

"Thanks love... I'll see you tomorrow yeah?"

"Of course," you separated and walked back into your home. It was barely 10, a little past that. You mom was already asleep, so you locked the door and made your way to bed. You were still wearing his jacket, as you laid down in bed you used it like a blanket. Taking in Ritchie's scent, making you feel comfortable and warm.

[downn-in-flames]

9.9 Out of 10, Highly Recommend (chapter 1)

2 bets. 10 days. Endless shenanigans.

{A Brooklyn 99 meets How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days Jily fic}

Read it on: HPFT | AO3 | FFnet

THE BET

At 10 pm on a Tuesday night, James Potter and Lily Evans are both rather impressively drunk.

They don’t know this particular fact about one another though, because they’re at bars across town from one another, with totally different groups of coworkers.

Although if you asked Lily, she really wouldn’t be surprised to learn that James was drinking on a Tuesday - that’s not too far out of character for him, anyways. James, on the other hand, would be absolutely gobsmacked to learn that cookie-cutter rule-follower Lily Evans was getting smashed on a weekday, when they’ve got work tomorrow.

She has good reason for it though - she’s celebrating. She’s only found out earlier today that she’s getting promoted to sergeant in a new department, which is just one step closer to her dream of becoming captain of a whole precinct and then commissioner of the entire NYPD.

In other words, her entire 25-year plan is right on track.

“The precinct is going to be weird without you,” Mary says, taking a sip of her beer.

From anyone else, that would be a mild compliment at best, but from Mary, that’s practically the equivalent of an overly emotional hug, sobbing and all.

Mary may be one of Lily’s closest friends, but she’s always been an impressively impassive and private person, even with people she’s known for years.

“She’s right,” Marlene adds. “Who’s going to get onto Black every time he decides to do something ridiculous like fill the vending machines with rotting vegetables?”

“And then stop Lupin from punching him, because we all know how he feels about the office vending machine,” Mary quips.

It’s an odd thing to be passionate about, but Remus has an impressive level of dedication to the office vending machine, which is in all honestly probably older than all of them and can only be filled with candy bars because anything larger gets stuck.

Lily laughs - it’s louder than her normal laugh, a sure sign that she’s surpassed Three-Drink Lily. “You’ve got Kingsley and Dumbledore for that.”

Marlene rolls her eyes. “Please. Don’t get me wrong, they’re great at their jobs, but when have they ever been able to rein in Lupin and Black?”

“When have I ever been able to rein in Lupin and Black?” Lily replies, before frowning at her now-empty fourth drink.

“You’re able to rein in Potter, and Potter is able to rein in Lupin and Black.”

Lily scoffs at that, because, in her opinion, she doesn’t have much control over Potter either. And if she were more sober, she’d elegantly manoeuver right around that particular topic of conversation, because it’s a viewpoint she’s always differed with her co-workers on.

But she’s just crossed the threshold into Four-Drink Lily, and Four-Drink Lily has conversational grace equivalent to Peter doing ballet. That is to say, none whatsoever.

“I’ve got no more power over Potter than either of you.”

Marlene giggles at that. “You can tell yourself that all you like, but you know he has a thing for you.”

“Trust me,” Mary adds. “I have to watch him make heart eyes at you all day long. He definitely likes you.”

Mary’s desk does face James, so that claim is actually pretty plausible.

Lily still doesn’t buy it though. “Oh please, Potter doesn’t like me. He likes the idea of me.”

“Meaning?” Marlene prods.

“He’s created some idealised version of me in his head,” she says. “I’m the hot coworker who sits at the desk next to him - it’s practically a fantasy situation. And as such, he’s built me up in his head as this dream girl of his - and that’s the girl he has a crush on. Not me.”

Mary rolls her eyes. “Fuck, I’m going to need another drink if you’re going to psychoanalyze people this hard tonight.”

“Can you get all of us another round while you’re at it?” Marlene asks. “It’s your turn to buy anyways.”

“One beer, one whiskey Diet Coke, and one cosmo, coming right up.”

“You’re a doll, Mary,” Marlene replies, knowing full well that the term of endearment will annoy her coworker.

“Fuck off, McKinnon,” Mary retorts, before getting up and heading over to the bar.

Marlene almost immediately turns back to Lily. “Why are you so convinced he doesn’t actually like you? What proof do you have of that?”

“Potter’s the idealistic type, we all know that,” Lily replies reasonably. “He decided I’m his dream girl when I got assigned the desk next to him, and hasn’t paid attention to any evidence to the contrary ever since.”

The other girl eyes her skeptically. “And that evidence is?”

“We’re so different.” Lily has no idea how that’s not abundantly obvious to everyone.

Lily’s the type of person who has a 25-year life plan. James is the type of person who can’t think more than three days in advance - it’s why most of the precinct has taken to sending him calendar invites for every little thing. Lily color codes her sock drawer, and James has had the same empty Coke can sitting on his desk for the past four months and eight days.

She’s kept count of it. It’s been on her nerves for four months and seven days.

“They say opposites attract, you know,” Marlene replies, smirking. “But really, I don’t think you and Potter are actually that different. Yeah, you’ve got different habits and whatnot, but at the same time, you’re both fuelled by the same things. I know you say he’s blinded by a version of you that he’s created in his head, but you’re blinded by an imaginary version of him too, babe.”

“Am not,” Lily answers stubbornly.

“Honestly, if you just gave him a chance, I think you’d find that you two are good for each other.”

Mary returns with their drinks at that moment, which gives Lily a little bit of time to think through Marlene’s comments.

Lily would be lying to herself if she said she didn’t find James good-looking. It’s kind of hard not to find the boy attractive, what with the dark, messy hair, the sharp jawline regularly dotted with stubble, and the cute little dimple on his right cheek that pops out when he smiles. Not to mention that he’s over 6 foot and decently built - a bit on the skinnier side, but Lily’s always kind of preferred that to the gym bro archetype - all of which puts him firmly in the realm of exactly her type.

He’s also actually pretty funny, and some of his overly dramatic antics serve to lighten the mood on particularly stressful days at the precinct. And he was the first person to congratulate her today when the news broke that she was getting promoted.

So yeah, she’s definitely attracted to him, at least a little bit. But she’ll never admit to that - it’d practically be social suicide amongst her co-workers - and they’d inevitably blow it way out of proportion. Thinking a guy is cute and funny doesn’t equate wanting to spend the rest of your life with them, no matter what Marlene may believe to the contrary.

“I’m telling you, I doubt he’s actually into me like that,” Lily finally says, taking the first sip of her fifth drink. “He wants one part of me, and that’s it. The rest is something he’s created in his own mind. He’d take me for a ride, realise he doesn’t actually like the real version of me, and drop me.”

“And I say you’re wrong,” Marlene replies, taking her cosmo off of Mary’s hands.

“I’m actually with Marlene on this one,” Mary says. “He’s into you, full stop.”

Lily hates being outnumbered. And she also hates being told that she’s wrong, which is probably what fuels what she says next.

“I guarantee you that, if Potter knew what I’m like in a relationship - what he’d be signing himself up for in going out with me - he’d realise he’s not actually into me,” she tells them both. “Fuck, I’d even put money on it.”

“And I’d put money on it that he’s half in love with you, and ‘knowing what you’re like in a relationship’ wouldn’t change that one fucking bit,” Mary replies.

“You’re wrong,” Lily replies, looking Mary dead in the eye.

It’s a dangerous decision, getting into a staring contest with Mary, who could probably kill a man with a glare alone, but Five-Drink Lily isn’t afraid of anything. Even if she is pretty sure Mary keeps at least one knife in her combat boots at all times.

“What’s the wager?” Marlene says, breaking Lily’s concentration.

“What do you mean, ‘what’s the wager’?” Lily asks.

“Well, you two both just made a bet, and I’m just curious what’s actually on the table here.”

“That wasn’t an actual bet!” Lily defends immediately.

Mary scoffs. “Yeah, because you know you’ll lose.”

Lily whips around to look at Mary again. “I do not! But a real bet has to have a comprehensive set of rules associated with it, not just vague statements.”

“Let’s make that ‘comprehensive set of rules’ then,” Mary replies, and the use of air quotes has Lily feeling like her friend is most definitely mocking her. “You leave the office in ten days - that’s a built-in timeline right there. Starting tomorrow, you go after him. You take him out on a couple dates or two - no sex required, unless you just really want to, in which case, go for it I guess. You ‘show him your real self’ - but you’re not allowed to dramatically sabotage anything either. If he’s done with you by the time you leave the precinct, you win. If he’s still half in love with you at that point like I know he will be, I win.”

The speed with which Mary just came up with a fully-thought-out proposal almost shocks Lily, but then again, Mary’s only been drinking beer the entire night and has an alcohol tolerance equivalent to her and Marlene combined. So she shouldn’t be surprised, really.

“I can’t date a coworker,” Lily replies.

“Black and Lupin are fucking engaged,” Mary retorts. “You absolutely can date a coworker.”

Mary’s not wrong, per say. There isn’t anything in their HR manual about dating coworkers; it’s a rule Lily’s instituted for herself moreso than anything formalised by the NYPD. Future commissioners don’t get themselves involved in office romances.

“You can suspend your own rules for this,” Marlene adds, all but reading Lily’s mind. “You’re leaving in ten days - there’s no consequences to this like there would be if you still had to share a workspace afterwards.”

She… does have a point.

“Lily’s just making up excuses because she knows I’m right, and she knows she’s going to lose,” Mary says casually, taking another sip of her beer.

Sober Lily is already competitive as hell, and drunk Lily is that intensified tenfold.

“You’re on, McDonald,” Lily says, slamming her drink down on the table so aggressively that a little bit sloshes over the side. “Loser has to sit through one of Peter’s homemade cheese tasting demonstrations - and eat all of them.”

Betting money might’ve been the original proposal, but the comedic value of forcing Mary to sit through Peter’s impassioned explanations of all the possible cheese varieties is worth far more, from Lily’s perspective.

“And has to organise Black’s Drawer of Horrors,” Mary adds, grinning wickedly.

One of the drawers in Sirius’ desk has been filled with a whole host of terrifying objects over his tenure at the precinct - ranging from prank toys to food that’s probably sat there for years. Even Lily, who gets a thrill out of organising pretty much anything else, doesn’t want to get near that thing with a ten-foot pole.

But Lily won’t have to. Because she’s going to win. “You have yourself a deal,” she says, holding out a hand for Mary to shake.

Mary reaches out and shakes it, gripping just a tiny bit harder than necessary. Lily resists the urge to cringe at the force of it - that’s exactly the display of weakness Mary wants to see.

Marlene looks up from the message she’s been typing on her phone and claps her hands delightedly. “Oh, this is absolutely the kind of office excitement we’ve been needing!”

Lily arches an eyebrow at her. “We work at a police precinct. You really think that’s not exciting?”

Marlene shrugs. “Taking down crime rings and whatnot is cool and all, but the juicy gossip is what I’m really here for.”

Lily shouldn’t even be surprised by that, really. Honestly, Marlene could probably have a pretty decent career in reality TV if she ever decided to leave the precinct.

“There’s not going to be any juicy gossip,” Lily says. “James is going to go out with me twice, realise I’m not what he signed up for, and that’ll be the end of that. No juicy gossip involved.”

“Whatever you say, Lil,” Marlene laughs.

That’s really all there is to it, Lily tells herself. She’s going to win this bet, start her new job, and forget all about James Potter and his stupidly perfect jawline.

On the other side of town, James is on his fourth beer and absolutely thriving.

The four of them - Remus, Sirius, Peter, and him - are on a mission to taste-test every brewery in New York City. They’re nowhere close to accomplishing that goal yet, but they’ve made pretty decent headway and enjoyed acting like overblown beer snobs in the process.

“Ah yes,” Sirius comments, holding his drink out in front of him. “The hops in this brew are particularly pronounced.”

“There’s an earthy aftertaste to this one,” Remus adds, swirling his stout as if it’s a fancy glass of wine.

“And this one tastes like piss,” James replies, completely ruining the fake-classy theme Sirius and Remus had going with their commentary.

“Come on, guys!” Peter says earnestly. “Beer tastings are meant to be a serious affair!”

Sirius isn’t swayed at all. “They’re meant to get us drunk, Wormtail.”

James always wonders what other people must think of them when they hear the group of men calling each other by weird nicknames like Wormtail and Padfoot. In all honesty, James himself isn’t quite sure why the names have stuck as long as they have - they were originally inspired by the first major crimes each detective took down when they were all assigned to the newly-formed 73rd precinct, and they’ve lingered ever since.

Peter took down an organized crime ring from the inside - he was the rat, as the ringleader so eloquently called him in court. Hence, Wormtail.

“You sound like Fenwick,” James adds, before draining his glass.

“Nah,” Remus replies. “None of us are drinking pilsners. Ergo, couldn’t possible be Fenwick.”

They all laugh at that - Benjy Fenwick’s obsession with pilsners has definitely become a running joke throughout the office, despite the fact that the guy doesn’t even work there.

“You’re also nowhere near as much of a dick as Fenwick was,” James tacks on.

Sirius looks up from his phone. “Fenwick wasn’t actually that much of a dick. You just didn’t like him because he was fucking the love of your life.”

James crinkles his brows in disgust. “Fenwick is definitely not the love of my life.”

Admittedly, yeah, Fenwick isn’t ugly - he actually kind of resembles a guy James had gone on a couple dates with in college - but he has the all the personality of a loaf of white bread.

Ergo, very much not James’ type.

“You massively misinterpreted the usage of the word ‘fucking’ in that sentence,” Sirius corrects. “The love of your life is the person he was fucking.”

“Evans isn’t the love of my life either,” James replies defensively.

Well, not yet, at least. James could definitely see her becoming the love of his life though. He almost spilt his coffee all over himself the very first day she showed up at the precinct (he managed to contain the spill to one sleeve, in the end) because fuck, the detective he was supposed to be sharing a desk with shouldn’t have been that beautiful.

And then she opened her mouth and James started falling for her even more.

So yeah, at this point, he’s pretty hopelessly smitten.

And because he’s utter shit at hiding his feelings, all of his friends know it, most of the precinct knows it, and hell, Lily probably knows it too. Trying to argue to the contrary is a bit of a hopeless endeavour.

Remus looks at him skeptically. “Maybe not love of your life, but pretty damn close.”

James shrugs, picking up another one of the IPAs they’ve got on the table. “Doesn’t matter much though - she’s leaving the precinct in 10 days and I won’t have much reason to see her after that.”

When he first heard the news of her promotion, he’d secretly been kind of sad that he wouldn’t have an excuse to see Lily everyday anymore. But he also knows how important getting a promotion and moving up in the police department is to Lily, so he’d given her a bright smile and congratulated her anyways.

“Or, you could actually make a move sometime in those 10 days so that she actually wants to hang around with your dumb ass even after she leaves.”

James glares at Sirius.

“But you don’t have the guts for that, do you?” his best friend challenges.

“Pads...” Remus warns.

Padfoot, like the dog. Inspired by the major drug operation Sirius had sniffed out.

Sirius waves off his fiancé. “Prongs, you’re my brother, so I mean this in the nicest possible way, but you’re absolutely shit with people you’ve got a crush on, and Evans is no exception. You just make doe eyes at her from afar and that’s not going to get you anywhere.”

He’s obviously trying to get a rise out of James - giving him shit for all sorts of things that he knows James can’t stand being called out on - and maybe a more sober James would recognise that, and let Sirius have his fun without rising to the bait.

But that’s not the state that James is in right now.

“I am not shit with people I’ve got a crush on,” he argues. “I just happen to respect Evans’s boundaries because I don’t think it’s very professional to openly flirt with a coworker in the workplace.”

It’s not like the NYPD is known for its sexual harassment policies, so honestly, James probably wouldn’t get in any sort of trouble if he did decide to repeatedly ask her out on dates until she relented, but he’d never want to make her uncomfortable like that.

Hence, his (slightly pathetic) pining from afar.

“I’m not asking you to get a harassment complaint filed against yourself,” Sirius replies immediately. “In fact, I rather like Evans, so if you do manage to do something that warrants a harassment complaint or makes her uncomfortable, I’m formally obligated to kick your ass. But I’m just saying, this is your chance to shoot your shot before she’s no longer one desk away from you.”

Peter laughs. “Please. Prongs could never get Evans to fall for him in that period of time.”

Prongs could refer to the antlers on a stag - and James does love rocking a good pair of reindeer antlers from time to time - but the true derivation of that name was from James escaping and diffusing a hostage situation using nothing but an unloaded gun and a fork.

But damn. Hearing that insult from Peter stings - after all, the guy has had an even longer dry spell than James has. Really, he’s got no right to go around critiquing James’ wooing skills.

“Could too,” James replies childishly, only barely resisting the urge to stick his tongue out at his friend.

“Care to make an official bet on that?” Sirius asks, smirking. “I’ll take you up on that one - loser has to sit through one of Wormy’s cheese demonstrations.”

“Oh yes!” Peter claps his hands together delightedly, completely missing the point that this is a form of punishment for losing. “I’ve been needing more people to practice on!”

“I’m not making a bet on Evans,” James replies obstinately. “She’s a person, not a prize to be won.”

“Technically, you’re not betting on Evans,” Remus replies, serving as the voice of logic at the table. “You’re betting on your own abilities. If you win, you’ve managed to actually nail the partner of your dreams; if you lose, no one is any worse off than when you started. This is an entirely non-objectifying situation on all accounts.”

When Remus puts it like that, James has to admit that he’s got a pretty good point. And there’s no possible outcome to this that hurts anyone. Well, other than James himself if he fails, but honestly no more hurt than if he’d never even taken a chance with Lily to begin with.

He just has to… actually manage to charm the woman that’s shown absolutely no romantic interest in him up until this point.

Should be easy enough, he thinks to himself, and almost laughs aloud at his own internal sarcasm.

But he’ll also never turn down a bet - especially not when all his friends have been giving him so much shit all night. James Potter is a lot of things, but a coward is most definitely not one of them.

So he turns to Sirius, grinning wickedly. “You’re on. But two rules: you three can’t interfere at all, and no one tells Evans about it until it’s over.”

Sirius looks vaguely surprised. “You’re actually taking me up on this?”

“Come on, Pads, you know full well that I don’t back down from a challenge.”

James isn’t lying on that one. It’s gotten him into a fair share of sticky situations - most frequently with a particularly problematic cop in the Major Crimes Unit, who has basically made it his life’s goal to antagonise their whole precinct (but mostly James) on a regular basis.

“Plus,” James muses. “You’re right. I’ve got ten days until I’ll never see her again - if there’s ever a time to take a risk, it’s now.”

“You do realise she’s still going to be friends with all of us, and she’s only moving - ”

“Moony, hush,” Sirius waves a hand in front of Remus’ face, stopping him from finishing that sentence.

The way Remus earned that nickname - and the way he stopped a major car chase in progress - is still a story that none of the boys can get through without laughing.

“So we’ve got ourselves a bet, Prongs?” he continues, extending a hand out to James. “If Lily falls in love with you by the time she leaves the precinct, you win; if she wants nothing to do with you, I win.”

It feels like there’s a significant gap between ‘falling in love with him’ and ‘wanting nothing to do with him,’ but James doesn’t give that technicality too much thought. This is his dignity (and a cheese tasting with Peter) on the line.

So he takes Sirius’ hand, giving it a firm shake. “Let’s do this.”

Ten days from now, he’ll have made Lily fall for him, proving his romantic competence once and for all. His friends will inevitable find something else to give him shit for, but James will thoroughly enjoy his bragging rights.

Or alternatively, he’ll be sampling Peter’s homemade gouda, but James isn’t letting himself entertain that outcome right now.

[loveandturmoil87]

Bang bang alley ~ Part one

This picture is not mine and I don't know who the original owner is, please let me know so I can credit.

A/N ~ After seeing this photo I got an idea for a Bigbang mafia AU, it gets off to a slow start but please bare with it, I promise it will full of action as well as twists. Happy reading.

Theme ~ Mafia/Gangster AU

Pairing ~ Reader x Choi Seung hyun x Bigbang

Series one ~ | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

Series two

 “I'm really sorry honey, I know you've been look forward to it” Dong won, your boyfriend, said through the phone.

“It's ok, really, I understand” You said cheerfully trying to hide the disappointment you felt inside.

“You're so good to me. I'll see you in a couple of weeks” the tone in his voice telling you he was smiling.

“Ok, I love you” you called in a sweet voice.

“We're going into the meeting, I have to go” he said in a hurry and hung up before giving you a chance to respond.

You sighed as you put your phone on the bed beside you, you closed your eyes and lent your head back as the last remnants of the sun shone in from the large glass window you sat across from warming your skin as the light slowly faded.

He was always like this when he was away on a business trip, at least when he was at his work place he had his own office to talk to you in private in, he never backed away from telling you he loved you unless he was in front of his workers. You had teased him about it on many occasions and he always responded with the same thing, he was the boss and he couldn't been seen to be soft, which is also why you were never allowed to visit him at his work. You had been dating for almost three years, the last twelve months you had spent living together and you hadn't once been to his work or met anyone that he worked with but you just figured that was how it must be in the world of stock exchange.

You couldn't complain, your life was anything less then perfect. You owned a successful fashion boutique in the heart of Seoul, you're boyfriend spoiled you and his family accepted you even though you were a foreigner. His family was very traditional, you had thought that they would have taken one look at you and protested the relationship but they had been nothing but welcoming to you.

Your eyes snapped open with the sound of your phone ringing, the unique ringtone you had set for the caller letting you know exactly who it was.

“Hey” you said nonchalantly.

“What's wrong sweetie?” Hyorin asked.

“It's Dong won, he has to stay in Busan for a few more weeks” you said with a sigh.

“Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry, I know you were looking forward to your anniversary”

“It's ok, his work comes first”

“Oh that's shit, you've been planning that day for so long now and you've put so much effort into it” she scoffed.

“Really, it's fine” you said as you fidgeted with the hem of your shirt.

“Don't you dare lie to me, I know you too well” she scolded you.

“It's his job, what can I do about it?” you questioned throwing your hand in the air.

“Well.... You could get your mind off it by coming out with us tonight”

“I don't know” you replied biting your lip.

“Oh come on, it's just dinner and a few cocktails.... It'll be fun”

“Ok, what time?”

“Half an hour, June is going to pick us up”

“See you soon then”

“Wear something sexy” Hyorin said and you giggled.

“You know me, when do I ever wear anything sexy?”

“Well at least wear a dress or something, see you soon babe”

“bye”

You were right, you were never one to really wear anything deemed sexy or revealing. You were what a lot of people would call a plain Jane, it wasn't that you didn't get dressed up you just opted for a more modest look. Hyorin on the other hand was completely the opposite, she always wore the tightest fitting thing she could find and the more skin it exposed the better. Sometimes you wondered how you were such close friends but then maybe that's why it worked, people do say that opposites attract, maybe that applied to best friends too.

You threw your phone back on the bed and wandered to your closet and pulled out your favourite dress, a baby doll cut covered in autumn shades of browns, reds and yellows, matched with your signature black flat slip on shoes. You left your hair in the bun you had put it in for work and retouched your make up, a plain stroke of eyeliner and some more mascara.

Just as you left the bathroom you heard a car honking, you knew without looking it was the girls. You grabbed your phone and your bag and headed out the door. When you got out side you were met with an excited screech followed by high pitched giggles, you smiled as you got in to Junes jeep knowing that you were in for a night fun.

“So where are we going?” June asked Hyorin.

“Well you remember that place I told you about?” Hyorin said with a sly smile.

“No, absolutely not” June said sternly.

“Oh come on, please” Hyorin pouted.

“What's wrong?” you asked confused and June sighed back at you.

“She wants to take us to the ghetto” June said nonchalantly.

“It's not the ghetto, this isn't America” Hyorin laughed.

“Well it's Seoul's equivalent” June bit back.

���Come on, please” Hyorin pleaded as she battered her eyelashes.

“Fine, but if we get car jacked you're buying me a new car”

June was right, the area did look bad, the buildings were all run down looking on the outside and covered in graffiti, the streets were dark, not a single street lamp was working. The cocktail bar on the other hand was a different story, on the inside at least, it looked like any other you had been in.

After dinner and a few cocktails the conversation turned to nostalgia.

“Ok, ok, ok, I've got one. My first was with my high school boyfriend at his parents house, he was this nerdy looking guy with big glasses and buck teeth, we did it in their lounge room and his parents caught us. I was absolutely mortified that his parents had seen me naked and I broke up with him so I wouldn't have to see them again” June admitted as she shook her head and you all giggled.

“Mine was with the hottest bad boy, I lured him away from his girlfriend at a party one night and we did it in her car” Hyorin chuckled.

“That is so like you” June tisked.

“That's not even the best part, I wanted him all for myself so I stuffed my underwear under her seat, it was two weeks before she even found them” Hyorin said before taking another sip on her drink.

“What about you _____?” June asked.

“Mine is boring compared to yours” you said as you twirled the stem of your glass.

“Come on just tell us” Hyorin said and you sighed.

“It was just after I moved here to go to college. I didn't really know anyone so I put up a flyer offering English lessons, only one person turned up” you paused as you remembered the first time you laid eyes on him.

“Hi I'm Se.....” the young man that was stood at your door paused as he looked at you, his smile replaced with a look of shock.

“Is there something wrong?” you asked raising your eyebrows.

“No, I ah.... I just..... You're not Korean” he stuttered.

“Is that a problem?” you questioned.

“No, not at all..... I was just expecting you to be” he said as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Ok, well now we have that out of the way would you like to try and introduce yourself again?” you asked as you cocked your head making the man blush as he shifted uncomfortably, you had to bite your lip to suppress the giggle from erupting at how cute he looked when he was shy.

“Sorry, I'm Seung hyun” he said with a shy smile as he held his hand out.

“Nice to meet you Seung hyun, I'm _____” you smiled back as you took his hand to shake.

“Anyway” you said as you shook your head, trying to get rid of the memory you hadn't thought about in years. “After a while we became close, one night he turned up on my door drunk and he confessed his love for me. I let him stay and I took care of him until he sobered up, I wanted to make sure he was genuine and that it wasn't just the alcohol talking. When I told him that I felt the same one thing lead to another and well....”

“Aww that's so sweet, so did you guys start dating?” June asked and you nodded your head. “How come you broke up?”.

“His family didn't approve, they said that it was bringing shame to the family and that he should be with 'one of his own kind'”

“Oh that's so sad” June stated as she held her hands over her chest.

“Yeah” was all you said before downing the rest of your drink.

“Yah, why did we park so far away?” Hyorin whined as she trailed behind.

“Because there was no where else to park” June retorted.

The three of you had only walked two blocks and Hyorin was already tired on account of the enormous heels she decided to wear. When you turned on to the street that car was parked on the thud of a bass line hit you, you looked around trying to find evidence of a club or a car but there was nothing, only a half lit alley way with a handful of men standing around in it.

“Hey baby, where you goin?” one of the men shouted from the alley.

“Nowhere with you” Hyorin shouted back.

“Ah come on baby, let daddy show you how a real man does it” the man responded.

“You in the brown dress, you look like you need a good fuck to relieve some of that tension” another man yelled at you.

“No thank you” you responded as you kept walking.

“Stuck up bitch” he yelled and an eruption a laughter followed.

You weren't sure what had gotten into you, normally you would have kept walking but something told you to give them a piece of your mind. You turned around and headed straight for the alley.

“So I'm stuck up because I won't fuck a stranger who shouted at me from a dirty alley way?”

“See what I mean? Baby you're way to tense, why don't you let me help you with that?” the man with blonde hair said as he stepped closer to you. You scoffed and folded your arms across your chest.

“Baby you don't look like you know the first thing about how to satisfy a woman.

Your eyes widened as you heard a familiar deep chuckle, one you hadn't heard in years. You looked around at the men trying to find the source but none of them were him, your heart sank at the thought that the noise had just been in your head, until you saw a tall figure move in the dark. He stepped out from the dark corner as he took a drag of his cigarette, he looked so different from the man you had once know but his eyes were still the same.

“Seung hyun?” you called as you took a step closer.

He looked at you, his face painted with indifference and his eyes seemed to look straight through you.

“You know this stuck up bitch hyung?” the blonde man asked as he gave Seung hyun a tap on the arm.

Seung hyun looked at you silently for a moment as the corner of his jaw twitched, he never thought he would see you again after that night and here you were, standing in the same alley way, still as beautiful as he had remembered.

“Never seen her before” Seung hyun said sternly as he looked away from you and took another drag on his cigarette, he couldn't bare to see the look of hurt that washed over your face with his words, even if you had hurt him in the past.

“We have to go” June said as she grabbed your arm and pulled you away from the alley.

“What is wrong with you?” you yelled as you pulled your arm out of her grip.

“What's wrong with me, what the hell is wrong with you? Do you realise they are gang members?” she shouted back.

“What?” you asked visibly shocked.

“That is club Bang Bang, the alley way is the entrance, it's the hang out of the Green Dragon gang...... Did you not see that tattoo on there hands?” Hyorin said almost scolding you.

“No, it couldn't be” you said stunned.

You looked back to see Seung hyun staring at you, his hands in his pockets and look of almost sadness written on his face.

“Well it is, now get in” June said as she opened the door for you.

Seung hyun watched from the alley as you got inside the jeep and drove away, a feeling of guilt hit him in the chest as he thought about the look on your face when he denied knowing who you were. The truth was he had never stopped thinking about you since the day you left him, how could he, you were his first and only love.

“Hi, I'm Se.....” he paused as he laid his eyes on you, it was you, the one he had seen around campus, the only girl he had eyes for but was to shy to talk to.

“Is there something wrong?” you asked raising your eyebrows.

'How can I concentrate when she looks so cute?' Seung hyun asked himself.

“No, I ah 'didn't expect it to be you'.... I just 'have a massive crush on you'..... You're not Korean” he stuttered trying to say the right thing and not make a fool of himself by blurting out what he really thought.

“Is that a problem?” you questioned.

'Shit, I fucked this up already' Seung hyun scolded himself internally.

“No, not at all..... I was just expecting you to be” he said as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Ok, well now we have that out of the way would you like to try and introduce yourself again?” you asked as you cocked your head.

Seung hyun felt his cheeks heat up out of embarrassment, he had only been talking to you for a few minutes and he already managed to fuck it up.

'God she looks so cute when she's trying not to laugh'

“Sorry, I'm Seung hyun” he said with a shy smile as he held his hand out.

“Nice to meet you Seung hyun, I'm _____” you smiled back as you took his hand to shake.

[skeletorific]

The Death and Deals of a True Lumberjack

You guys probably forgot I do Gravity Falls stuff, didn’t you? Well, @waldorkler didn’t. They requested this fic a few months ago, and have been ultra patient about wating on my slow ass to get this over with.

Prompt: Set shortly after “Roadside Attraction”. Bill, seeking a way into the Mystery Shack, encounter opportunity in the form of a certain redhead....

Warnings: Gore, character death, angst. Could be read as Wendip? I don’t go any farther than the canon, and I don’t intend to write the ship, but I guess it could be seen as that. A couple of swears.

Word Count: 7641

Put under the cut cause this is long as fuuuuuuck

There were a lot of chores Wendy had taken on since her mom passed, but the one she had always hated the most was laundry. Between her, the three boys, and her Dad, there were a lot of completely destroyed flannels around the house. Not to mention the fact that her dad abjectly refused to buy a dryer. While literally everyone else lived in the twenty-first century, the Corduroy’s still hung their laundry on a line. A total pain, but she had to admit it made her clothes dry in interesting forms. She could get the crumpled but not too crumpled look she wanted.

“Alright, I finished laundry, so if I see one left out shirt, I’m gonna kick your butts!” she yelled upstairs. No response from any of the boys: chances are they were still zonked out.

True to form, though, there was a sock laid at the bottom of the stairs, draped almost delicately. “GUYS!” she moaned, stuffing it in her back pocket. Whatever, not worth doing a separate load for one sock.

Outside, the air was warm and close, with all the trees surrounding, but there was a faint chill in the air that promised fall was coming. Wendy wasn’t ready, really, to go back to school, but who ever was? She shivered slightly in her tank top but set back to work.

She started pinning up the shirts on the line. Green flannels, red flannels, blue, as far as the eyes could see. The only way you could tell them apart was by the shape, and given how fast some of her brothers were growing even that kind of sorting was getting difficult.

Well, not like she had much to do lately. The Shack had been closed for a few days recently. Mr. Pines....long lost brother? Honestly, she had gotten most of her details from Soos, and then only in a lengthy three am call that she only remembered like a third of. Either way, despite the fact that it was no longer crawling with feds, Stan had told her to take a day or two off while they sorted out whatever family mess they were going through. What was weird is that it was a paid vacation. Something really big must be going down.

It was funny. She’d’ve thought she’d have been thrilled to finally be getting a legit vacation, but she was just bored. The group wasn’t as much fun these days. Robbie and Tambry just spent hang outs making goo-goo eyes at each other. Nate and Lee were on some last minute vacation to the coast to try and finally make good on that surfing resolution they’d had since New Years. And she couldn’t hang out with just Thompson. She hadn’t sunk that low.

So yeah, she kind of missed work. It was definitely a little awkward now that the kid had finally just confessed his feelings for her, but things were always happening around Dipper and Mabel. It was never boring or just the same old routine. She honestly found herself staring at her phone, waiting for it to ring and have it be Stan telling her to get her ass to work, where was she, or Soos telling her the golf cart had gone haywire again, or Dipper to ask her to come on another monster hunt with him and his sister....but nothing.

The laundry all hung up, there was only one chore she had left: wood chopping. For the stove. Dad once again insisted on a woodburning stove in addition to the more modern one. Lumberjacks should always use the product of their labor, he insisted. Wendy didn’t mind this one as much. The axe was propped in it’s usual corner and she grabbed on her way out to the clearing where Dad had them drag all the trees that weren’t specifically business.

The rhythm of the chopping and the satisfying chunk as it connected with and severed the wood had always been pretty relaxing to her. In her blood, she guessed. Some girls did facials and manicures. She did axes. Once she got into a pattern she could practically zone out. She did some of her best thinking here. Slowly, she got more and more into it, lift, swing, thunk, kick it to the side, lift, swing, thunk, ki-

“HIYA RED!”

The shrill voice startled her and she whipped around, axe gripped tightly....

Face to face with one of the weirdest things she’d ever seen.

It was a little triangle guy, with one eye and yellow skin, with a top hat and a cane held in spindly little black arms, floating in midair. Not knowing what it was, she decided to make the safe move, and approached it with the axe poised to swing.

“WOAH, EASY THERE, HOT STUFF.” No mouth formed, but the voice seemed to echo all throughout the woods, bouncing off the trees in every direction as he floated above and behind her, coming to rest on the chopping block. His posture was laid back and easy going, clearly without a care in the world.

“Who are you?” she said, not as aggressive now, but still holding tight to her weapon.

“NAME’S BILL, BILL CIPHER. NICE TO MEET YA. AND YOU’RE WENDY CORDUROY, THE GIRL WITH AN AXE TO GRIND!” A long pause. “WOW, TOUGH AUDIENCE.”

“How do you know my name?”

“I KNOW LOT’S OF THINGS, KID. FOR INSTANCE, I KNOW THAT IF YOU WANT TO HELP OUT THOSE POOR PINES KIDS, YOU’LL GIVE ME A HAND.”

“Dipper and Mabel? What’s going on?”

“NOTHING YET, BUT TRUST ME, SOMETHING’S COMING. SOMETHING BAD. AND I NEED YOUR HELP TO GET THEM OUT OF IT.”

Wendy raised an eyebrow. “And I’m just supposed to believe you because....?”

“LIKE I SAID, KID, I’M OMNIPOTENT.” He said. “FOR INSTANCE, I KNOW PINE TREE PRACTICALLY KISSES THE GROUND YOU WALK ON. I’VE BEEN TRYING TO WARN THEM ALL SUMMER, BUT UNFORTUNATELY THEIR UNCLE AND I HAD A....BIT OF A MISUNDERSTANDING. HE DOESN’T TRUST ME, BUT I REALLY AM ONLY TRYING TO HELP. I THINK THEY MIGHT LISTEN TO ME IF YOU BACK ME UP.”

“Still not hearing a reason why I should trust you.” she said, crossing her arms.

Bill sighed. “YOU’RE A SHARP ONE, I’LL GIVE YOU THAT. ALRIGHT, ALL I CAN TELL YA IS IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE RETURN OF THE AUTHOR.”

“Dipper finally found the author?!”

“SO HE DID TELL YOU ABOUT THE JOURNALS THEN. ANYWAY, THE AUTHOR’S AN ESCAPEE FROM A DIMENSION FULLA BAD. I SHOULD KNOW: IT USED TO BE MY HOME TURF.” His hand waved, and a moving image, a bit like a projection appeared. Monsters made more of teeth and claws than flesh danced in the vision, snarling and snapping. “THE AUTHOR MADE IT OUT OKAY, BUT IT LEFT BEHIND A TEAR ONLY I’M POWERFUL ENOUGH TO FIX. THEY WON’T LET ME IN TO SEE IT, BUT IF IT’S NOT DEALT WITH SOON...MY OLD DIMENSION’S GONNA COME SPILLING INTO THIS ONE. NOT GOOD FOR YOU GUYS AT ALL.”

Wendy stared at the images, hand tightening around her axe as she imagined those creatures in the burning wreck of the Shack, her school, the house. “So why do you care? If they really are from your old world.”

Bill was quiet for a minute, and made a small movement with his shoulders that looked like a shudder. “LIKE I SAID, ME AND THE AUTHOR BOTH ESCAPED FROM THAT DIMENSION. I DON’T WANNA GO BACK FOR ANYTHING, RED. SO WHAT DO YA SAY?” He stuck out a hand to be shaken. “WANNA HELP ME OUT?”

Wendy thought for a minute. “What do I have to do?”

“EASY, JUST LET ME POSSESS YOUR BODY!”

“What?!”

“RELAX, ONLY TEMPORARILY. LOOK, KID, I ONLY REALLY EXIST ON THE DREAMSCAPE RIGHT NOW. TO PUT IT SIMPLY I CAN’T FIX THE RIFT UNLESS I HAVE A BODY. YOU WORK THERE, SO NOBODY’LL THINK ITS WEIRD IF YOU GO DOWN TO THE SHACK. ONCE I’M THERE YOU AND I’LL EXPLAIN WHAT I NEED TO DO TO PINE TREE AND SHOOTING STAR, AND WE’LL GET THE JOB DONE.” His hand ignited with a blue flame that somehow didn’t feel hot. “COMPLETELY PAINLESS, I PROMISE YA.”

Wendy hesitated for a second. Give up her body....but thinking back to the nightmarish images....Her mouth set in a thin line. “Alright. Deal.” She said, clasping his hand in hers.

There was a sensation like a strong static shock throughout her body. The world flashed black and white, back to color, and to monochrome again, and there was a peculiar sensation of weightlessness. Suddenly she found herself floating as light as the air in the clearing, staring at her stock still body that had gone slack in her absence.

Her hands and arms began to flex, and her head rolled almost eerily back into a raised position. He eyelids slowly opened to reveal two long black pupils, almost reptilian.

Creepy.

“You in, buddy?” she said, floating towards him. It felt weird, but kind of cool.

“SURE AM. WOW, HUMAN FEMALE THIS TIME. WEIRD.” He...? said, examining her hands and arms. “THIS ONE IS WAY STRONGER THAN THE LAST BODY!”

“Um...thanks.” Wendy said. “We should probably get going, though.”

“SURE, SURE.” Bill said, picking up the axe and swinging it back and forth, testing the weight. “THANKS FOR THIS, KID. NICE TO KNOW THERE ARE STILL PEOPLE LIKE YOU AROUND.”

Wendy shrugged and smiled slightly “No bi-”

“AND HERE I THOUGHT NOBODY ELSE BUT PINE TREE COULD BE THIS GULLIBLE. GUESS HUMANS REALLY DO NEVER CHANGE!”

“Wait, what?!”

“WOW, YOU ACTUALLY BOUGHT IT!” He said, clapping a hand to his forehead and laughing wildly. “I’LL ADMIT, I DIDN’T THINK YOU’D SWALLOW IT THAT FAST, BUT OH-HO-HO BOY DID YOU!”

“Get out of my body, you creep!” She said, diving towards it...only to phase right out the other side.

“NICE TRY, DOLL, BUT YOU’RE STUCK IN THE DREAMSCAPE NOW!” Bill said, gleefully swinging the axe from side to side. “ONLY I CAN SEE OR HERE YOU, AND YOU NEED A PUPPET IF YOU WANT TO AFFECT ANYTHING. NOW, LET’S GET PINETREE OUT HERE, SHALL WE?” He pulled out her cell phone, dialed it.

“I’m gonna kill you, you three-sided asshole!” she said, flying back and forth across the body, swinging, kicking, trying everything she could think of....but every time, she might as well have been a light breeze for all the effect she was having.

“Hey, P-....Dipper!” Bill said. His voice sounded close to hers, like a tinnier recreation of it. Over the phone, there would be nothing to notice. “Can you meet me out by my place? I’ve got something big to show you. Right. See ya.” He slapped the phone shut with a wicked grin. “HE SEEMED PRETTY EAGER, RED. LOOKS LIKE PINE TREE HAS A LITTLE CRUSH.....WELL, SHOULD MAKE MY JOB EASIER.” And he laughed, low and loud slowly travelling up to high and manic, as Wendy stared with horror at the axe, her mind racing to find a solution...

“Grunkle Stan, Great Uncle Ford, I’m going out!” Dipper yelled, shoving the journal in his backpack.

“Are you sure that’s wise, Dipper?” Ford said, poking his head around the corner. “Remember, I said Bill will be looking for any opportunity to-”

“I know, I know.” Dipper said. “But Wendy said she had something important to show me. I should be back in a few minutes.”

“‘Sides” Mabel said from her perch on the counter. “It gives him an excuse to stare at Wendy’s pretty face!

A bobblehead soared across the room and made contact with her head. “OW!”

“I told you, I’m over her.” Dipper said, pulling his pack on his shoulders. “She just....she sounded like it was important.”

“Heh,” Stan said, grinning and leaning against the doorframe. “Kid, when it comes to Corduroy, her wanting a soda sounds important to you.”

“Shut up!” He said, going toward the door. “I’m over her, we’ve laid out the boundaries, I just want to make sure nothing’s wrong.”

“WENDY AND DIPPER, SITTIN IN A TREE” Mabel screamed from the counter. Stan joined in “K-I-S-S-I-N-”

Dipper closed the door, rolling his eyes. Then he started running down the path towards Wendy’s house.

Okay, so he had lied a little bit. Because, yeah, he knew now that he would never have a chance with Wendy. In a way, it was almost a relief to have that spelled out. Less time and thought he had to spend dancing around it. But he couldn’t deny, when he saw she was calling....his heart had beat just a little faster. It wasn’t quite hope, what he felt, but it was something similar. Like, maybe she had missed him. Maybe she had wanted to see him again. Maybe she wanted to make the terms a little more ambiguous. Like, they wouldn’t date now, but maybe in a few...?

Dipper, don’t be an idiot. He told himself. She’s made it clear how she sees me, now let’s just go over and get ready to...to....STOP THINKING ABOUT HER HAIR AND FOCUS ON THE JOB

Finally he arrived at the clearing. Wendy was leaning against a pile of newly chopped wood, looking as cool as she always did.

“Hey, Wendy.” He said. “N-nice shades.”

“Thanks, man.”

“Um....your voice sounds weird, are you alright.”

A thick wretching noise came from her mouth. “Yeah, yeah, sorry, dude, just a cold.”

“Oh,okay.” He shook off the backpack and held it in front of him, ready to pull out what they needed. “Alright, what did you need to show me.”

“Dipper, I saw Bill.”

“.....who...?” No, she couldn’t, she couldn’t know-

“Bill? Bill Cipher? Come on, man, how many other triangle demons do you know.”

He almost dropped his backpack. “How do you know about Bill?!”

Wendy, meanwhile, had been searching desperately for a solution. Everything she tried to pick up just phased right through her. When Dipper appeared in the clearing, she tried screaming. No response from Dipper, but she could swear she saw Bill grin in her direction for a half second.

“He came to me.” Bill said. “Told me he was looking for a way into the Mystery Shack. He said he wanted to protect you or something from a Rift.”

Dipper snorted. “He wants to do something  with the Rift, alright. Did he offer you a deal?” What had he said, a puppet? Maybe....she tried diving into birds, but it seemed like it required a deal to enter the heads of stuff with brains.

“Yeah. Kicked him to the curb: the dude looked like bad news.”

“Really? You saw through him?”

“Course, man, do I look like a moron to you?”

“Oh, you’re dead!” Wendy growled, desperately wracking her brains.

Dipper looked a little shy....”Yeah, no, you’re definitely way too smart to fall for Bill. I mean, what kind of moron would fall for that ahahaha!”

Puppet, puppet, why did that word ring in her brain, like something from the not-so-distant-past......

“But it got me thinking.....suppose he goes after Soos? Or, y’know, just some random customer? He could sneak into the Mystery Shack, grab the rift, and be out in a minute. I don’t know what he’ll do with that but if can’t be good. So I was thinking.....what if you gave it to me?”

“What?”

Pu- Mabel’s show! Sock puppets. And she could see the sock from the stairs, still sticking out of her back pocket. Bill hadn’t noticed it. There were no eyes or hair attached to it, so it might not count, but....

“Think about it. He already knows I’m not gonna fall for it. If I hide it somewhere and never tell you guys where, even if he gets into the Shack, he won’t be able to find it, and he won’t be able to find out from you guys where it is.”

Dipper looked from side to side, unsure. “I....I don’t know.”

Wendy quietly floated behind Bill, staying out of his sight line. Fortunately, he was too focused on Dipper to notice her hand creeping towards her back pocket, praying to whoever was in charge of this kind of thing that this would work.

“Come on, man. Give it a trial run. And if you ever change your mind, I’ll go get it and bring it back to you.” He extended her hand and smiled. “You trust me?”

Her fingers were right up by the sock....and it stayed solid! She picked it up, quickly shoving her hand inside it before the universe could change its mind on this technicality. She shoved the toe of the sock between her fingers and her thumb, forming a rough mouth.

“Well.....” suddenly Dipper’s eyes were arrested by the sight of a crude sock puppet rising over Wendy’s shoulder.

“DIPPER IT’S NOT ME!” The sock puppet spoke with Wendy’s voice. “IT’S NOT ME, RUN.”

He froze as Wendy’s body jumped to the side. “It’s Bill!” she said. “He’s trying to-”

Suddenly the sock puppet flew forward and knocked the sunglasses off her face, revealing yellowed eye with slit-like irises.

Dipper picked up his backpack and slowly backed away.

Bill-Wendy sighed. His shoulders began to shake with, and slowly a high and manic laugh came, twisting the mouth and throwing the head back as it rang out louder and louder in the clearing. Dipper wanted desperately to run but he was frozen in fear.

Bill/Wendy wiped a tear from his eye. “OH, WELL DONE, RED, WELL DONE. I ALMOST HAD IT TOO.” He turned to face Dipper. “STILL, I GUESS ITS NOT A TOTAL WASH.” He swung the axe onto his shoulder and began to approach, a menacing smile twisting Wendy face. “MAYBE FORDSY WILL BE A LITTLE EASIER TO CONVINCE IF I START SENDING HIM BITS OF HIS FAVORITE NEPHEW.”

“Dipper, run!” the puppet yelled.

He didn’t have to be told twice, and he took off, running blindly through the forest.

He could hear the laugh again, low and menacing. “WHERE YOU GOING, KID?”

Suddenly he saw the puppet zooming beside him, somehow keeping pace. “I’m here.” Wendy said.

“I just need to get to the Shack, we should be able to find a way to get him out once we’re there.” He said in short bursts. The running was already beginning to take its toll, but he kept pushing.

“OH, PINE TREE, PINE TREE, PINE TREE.” Bill called. “YOU FORGET SOMETHING? I’VE GOT A HOLD OF RED’S BODY! I CAN DO WHAT A WANT TO IT WHILE I HAVE IT.”

Dipper felt something pang in the back of his mind. What was he-

“HM, WHAT DO YOU THINK, RED, THINK YOU COULD LIVE WITH ONE LESS LEG? CAUSE I CERTAINLY FEEL THAT WAY.”

His heart stopped.

“Keep going, he’s bluffing.” Wendy said tersely.

“OH AM I, RED?”

Dipper turned to the puppet, eyes wild. “Wendy, I don’t-”

“Just go, Dipper!”

Suddenly there was a grunt from within the woods, and then a deep laugh. “WOW, I FORGOT HOW INTERESTING HUMAN BLOOD IS!” Bill said. “IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR HAIR, KID!”

Dipper froze, and for a moment so did Wendy. “OH, DON’T WORRY. YOU’VE STILL GOT ALL YOUR LIMBS. FOR NOW......”

Dipper turned and bolted back towards the voice. “Dipper!” Wendy called, before grunting frustratedly and following.

Dipper saw Bill before Bill saw him. On Wendy’s arms was a deep, visceral cut, the blood dripping behind her in a gory trail. It also coated the edge of the axe, which was returned to her shoulder. Shit, how could he get Bill out....last time they had gotten lucky with the host, but Wendy was healthy and well-rested. But they couldn’t afford to...Suddenly Bill froze, turned, and looked right. At. Him.

“WELL, FINALLY!” He started approaching, eyes wide and smile wider. “HEY, GOT A RIDDLE FOR YOU. WHAT ELSE DO YOU HAVE IN COMMON WITH A PINE TREE, BESIDES THAT STUPID HAT?”

Dipper backed away, eyes widening with horror.

“YOU GIVE UP?”

“Please....get out....get out of her body,” he said, his voice hoarse and squeaking. “Please, Bill, I’ll-”

“YOU BOTH FALL DOWN WHEN I USE MY AXE!” Laughing manically, Bill lifted the axe back, swung low, towards his feet, and suddenly he felt himself being lifted up, off the ground, out of Bill’s reach.

“Dang, man,” Wendy’s voice came from above him, strained with effort. “You have bricks in that backpack or something?”

She was using the socked hand to hang on to the edge of his backpack and pull him up.

“Wendy! What are....Oh.....That’s-actually kind of cool.”

“Yeah, you can be impressed with my lifting later, dude, we gotta get to the Shack.” She said.

Bill gave a loud, exasperated sigh about fifteen feet below them. “YOU JUST DON’T GET IT, DO YA, RED? I’M IN YOUR BODY! I CAN DO WHAT I WANT TO IT, AND I DON’T THINK YOU’RE GONNA LIKE ANY OF IT.” And suddenly he took off into the woods.

“Wait, Wendy, turn around!”

“Are you serious?!” Wendy said. “When are you gonna get it in your head, man, I don’t care what he hurts, I can walk it off. I can’t walk off the freaking apocalypse!”

“I’M NOT JUST WORRIED ABOUT YOU!” He said, frustrated. “What if he goes to attack your family? What if he goes after your friends? What if he kills you?!”

They froze in midair. And were suddenly going after Bill at a quick pace.

“Oh, thank hell” she said in a partly relieved voice. “He’s not going toward the house.”

“What about your dad?”

“He’s not working today, he went to go get a part for...for the.....” she stopped. “Oh gods...”

“What, part for what?!”

“WOW, THAT’S A LOT OF BLADES!”

A sudden machine roar that came from a few feet distant, and Wendy was booking, so fast she almost dropped Dipper, but they were too late.

Bill was standing on a boulder, about twenty feet tall, standing on the edge with the toes of his boots over the edge.

Below him was a running, open-topped woodchipper.

“WELL, WELL, THAT GOT YOUR ATTENTION.”

“Bill, you don’t want to do this!”

“AH, WHY NOT?” Bill grinned and looked down. “LOOKS LIKE A LOT OF FUN, AND YOU KNOW HOW FUNNY PAIN IS TO ME, PINE TREE. MAYBE I’LL LET HER BACK IN JUST BEFORE SHE HITS THE BLADES, SO SHE CAN GET THE FULL EXPERIENCE.”

“I’M GONNA KICK YOUR TRIANGLE ASS” Wendy was yelling.

Bill smiled and raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. “WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, DOLL? I’VE GOT YOUR BODY, AND AS WE’VE CLEARLY ESTABLISHED” He leaned her body dangerously over the edge, pinwheeling his arms almost comedically, pulling back at the last possible second. “I DON’T REALLY CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO IT.”

“Alright, just....just back away from the edge.” Dipper said, his voice cracking under the stress. “What do you want? Okay, we can talk!”

“WE STILL ON THIS, KID? THE RIFT!” Bill twisted Wendy’s features into an exaggerated “duh!” facial expression. “WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS ALL FOR?”

“Don’t you dare!” Wendy said, turning the puppet on him. “Don’t give it to him, Dipper!”

“But-”

“TICK TOCK, PINE TREE.” Bill playfully lifted a leg, dangled it over the edge. “ITS AWFUL SLIPPERY UP HERE!”

“Wendy, I-”

“Do it and I will never forgive you, Dipper!” Wendy sounded furious, more fired up than he had ever seen her.

“I CAN’T JUST-”

“WHAT DO YOU THINK HE’LL DO TO ME AND MY FAMILY, DIPPER? TO YOU AND MABEL AND EVERYONE?!”

“YOU’VE GOT FROM ONE TO FIVE, OKAY?”

“Wendy-!”

“ONE......TWO......FIVE!”

“NO!”

Everything seemed to move in slow motion. Bill fell backwards, laughing as he fell closer and closer to the roaring blades, Dipper screamed and reached out a hand, Wendy zoomed towards him to shove him out of the way, but it was too late.....and suddenly the clearing was red with blood and viscera, and the puppet dropped limp and handless to the ground..

A high cackle rang out in the forest, though he couldn’t see Bill. “TAKE THAT AS A LITTLE GIFT PINE TREE. MAYBE NEXT TIME YOU’LL LISTEN A LITTLE MORE TO MY DEALS.....CATCH YOU LATER......” the voice faded.

Dipper stared at the horrific scene in front of him, frozen in horror. Wendy.......

Manly Dan heard the screams all the way back at the cabin, and found the Pines boy on his knees, surrounded by gore and screaming like his insides were being ripped out by his worst nightmare.

Dipper sat up in his room, his arms wrapped around his knees in a pseudo-fetal position as he tried to stop shaking all over.

It was the middle of the night. He had been staring at the wall for hours now, trying to fall asleep, knowing he probably wouldn’t

Maybe not for the rest of his life.

Mabel had offered to stay up with him like half a dozen times, but....he couldn’t handle people right now. He thought she might have sensed that, because she agreed pretty readily to spending the night in Great-Uncle Ford’s room. Ford was out securing the perimeter, checking and double checking the enchantments. Now that they knew for sure Bill was in the area....well, they couldn’t take anymore chances.

So he sat alone in the attic, as the minutes ticked on in agonizing procession.

The others had tried, tried to say something, but....in the end the wound was still too sore, too open. None of them could really believe it. Wendy had always been so....so full of life, and now she was gone, so brutally, so...quickly. Stan had actually let Soos hug him. Mabel had been crying ever since she got the news.

Ford was doing the best he could to hold everyone together, but he had never met Wendy. He didn’t have the right words to say, and in the end, all he could do was try and take control of the situation, prevent any further damage.

And Dipper...

He had blacked out just after it happened. When he woke up, Dan had been shaking his shoulders and yelling for him to snap out of it. He had been screaming for the past ten minutes.

The next few hours had been like something out of a nightmare. He had had to explain to Dan whose.....insides.....were plastered all over the trees, the grass, the machines. The lumberjack had looked like he was going to pass out, but had somehow managed to hold it together long enough to use his phone to call Stan, so he would pick Dipper up. If he had been in his right mind, they might have gone back to the house, but he got the sense Dan was unwilling to face his kids at the moment. So they sat in the clearing. In silence. Dipper picked up the sock from the ground. There were only a few drop of blood on it, and he kept turning it over in his hand, mind blank and frozen solid.

As they waited...they would have looked odd to any passerby. Dipper’s emotions occasionally rose out of his throat like bile, and he would scream again, before stifling it. At some point Dan stood up and just started punching a tree. Repeatedly. It fell over. It would’ve been funny if not for the tears streaming out of his eyes.

Stan didn’t see the site of the accident (they had walked a little ways away), but the smell....he had dry-heaved against a tree for a minute or two before he could drive Dipper away.

And then he had to tell the story all over again to the rest of the family.

Dipper still had the sock. He pulled it out of his pocket, stared at it. His mind was blank, blank, blank, and then the dam broke, and tears were pouring out unstoppably and he was wretching, practically yelling as his chest heaved up and down and he couldn’t breathe, he didn’t want to breathe he wanted it to stop he wanted her to come back he wanted to sleep he wanted to not wake up he wanted to break something he-

He kept crying and crying, mentally begging someone to find him there in the dark, and at the same time praying that no one would see him like this.

Eventually, his consciousness had to surrender to his body, though, and he fell asleep, face dried and cracking and his blankets soaked. He fell into a confused, feverish black where thought floated disjointed and unrelated, but menacing, filling him with dread.....until he felt a tap on his shoulder.

“Hey man.”

Dipper jerked awake. It couldn’t be...and yet it was.

“....Wendy?”

The redhead did her familiar half-lidded smile and nodded. She was translucent and blue, like that lumberjack ghost. Across her body were a few nicks that looked like they were still bleeding. But it was her.

Dipper froze for a second, the tears reforming in his eyes. And then he tackled her in a hug more massive than any he ever would’ve allowed himself while she was alive. “I....I don’t understand, how is this....wait....” he let go, backed up a step. “Is this a dream?”

Wendy laughed softly. “Nah, man, its the real deal.”

“But....how did you-”

She shook her head. “I’m not still alive, dude. I definitely died today. But....” she rubbed the back of her head. “Wow, this is hard to explain....I guess it’s kind of a last wish thing? I can’t explain it, but I somehow knew I’d get the chance to visit one last person before I left for good. Sorry I took so long. Kind of took me a while to figure out the physics of it all.”

“Wait, so you....I’m your last visit?” He frowned with concern. “What about your family?”

Wendy shoved her hands in her pockets and turned to the side, face mostly blank. “Thought about it. Wanted to. But...they don’t know about all this.” she gestured a hand in a broad movement. “Not really. They’ve seen the weird stuff around Gravity Falls, but they don’t really question it. If I came back, I’d have to explain it all to them, what I was doing, how I died, how the whole town works, and....I figured they were safer not knowing about Bill. Because they would a hundred percent go looking for him, and if one of them died trying to avenge me....” she shook her head. “This was safer. Had a few things to talk to you about. Plus,” she smiled ruefully. “Guess I didn’t really like the idea of the last thing you saw of me being a demon controlled puppet, or a pile of mulch.”

Dipper paused, and then nodded. He still couldn’t believe it, she was here and yet....in a few hours he was going to have to say goodbye again. “Alright.”

“Gonna be honest.” Wendy said, “If I hadn’t become visible when I did I was gonna try the sock puppet thing again, I’ve been hanging out up there for hours, trying to make myself visible in the physical world.”

“Yeah sorry, I-” Dipper stopped talking, flushing with embarrassment. “Oh, you saw....all that?”

“Don’t worry about it, man. I was the same way when my mom died. Worse.”

Wendy floated over to the window, staring out into the night, sighing contentedly.

“I’m gonna miss this.” she said.

Dipper looked down, hand on his knees. “Do you have to go?”

“Hey, smart guy, you know I do.” she said is softly, gently. “It’s okay, really. I’m not scared.” she paused, then laughed softly. “Well, maybe a little bit, but, it is what it is.”

“Wendy I-...” He felt the tears rising up again, and he wanted to control it, but he couldn’t, he couldn’t....”I’m s-so sorry...I’m so sorry...’ He started sobbing.

“Hey, hey!” she said, startled and wrapping an arm around him. “It’s okay, dude, its not your fault.”

“It is though.” he said, the tears flowing freely, and he hated himself for being this weak. “It is, if I had just told you about Bill-”

“You couldn’t have known he would come after me.” she said it firmly, looking him square in the eyes.

“But-”

“Look. I made the deal, okay? My choice. And I’ll live with the consequences.”

“Wendy...I-I”

“I don’t blame you, Dipper. I was a dead girl walking from the second I shook his hand, but looking back I’d do it again. I did it because I thought I was protecting you guys and my family, and I wouldn’t go back on that idea. Sure, turned out to be a lie, but....right reason, wrong thing, you know?”

His tears still poured out, but a shaky smile came on his face and he pulled her into another hug. Maybe it was selfish, but he couldn’t help feeling relieved.

Wendy stiffened under the hug, but then returned it before letting go.

Dipper’s eyes drooped involuntarily, and she chuckled. “You should probably get some sleep.”

“No! No, I’m fine.” he rubbed at them fiercely.

“Dipper....”

“I can’t fall asleep!” He said desperately. “I fall asleep, and....and you won’t be here when I wake up. I....I’m not ready for it to be over yet.”

Wendy paused for a second, deep in thought. “Close your eyes.”

“What?”

“Trust me, close your eyes and try and drift off.” A long pause. “I’m not going anywhere yet, promise.”

Dipper bit his lip, but obliged, lying down.

He must have been more tired than he thought, because in no time he was dead to the world, his mind wandering into shadowy realms, ones that looked vaguely like his old elementary school.

“Cool place. That desk yours?”

He turned. It was Wendy.

“I can enter the Dreamscape too. We can chill out here for a bit, until....” they both decided that sentence was better left unfinished.

They spent hours together. Dipper showed Wendy around the school (the parts that had been accurately recreated, anyway). Wendy experimented a bit with her ghost body, possessing the dream form of the class hamster, Mr. Snuffles.

Mostly, they just talked. About everything. Dipper shared his aspirations of becoming a paranormal investigator, and his apprehensions about how Uncle Ford saw him. Wendy gave him her survival tips for high school, told some stories about her mom, even talked about her brothers, which she almost never did with him. It was the closest he had ever felt to her. It was like now....there wasn’t any need to pretend, to play games. There would be no consequences for the things they said there, and they had a lot they needed to get out before the end they knew was approaching inevitably

“Part....part of why I chose to visit you, Dipper,” she looked off into the distance again. “is I knew you were gonna be blaming yourself. And....well, you shouldn’t anyways, but you really can’t now.”

“Why?”

“Cause people need you.” She lifted a knee to her chest, remained silent for a minute. “Look, Dipper, Bill’s got big plans. The way he talked, I think they’re coming soon. And if something happens to this town, I think you’re one of the few people who’ll be able to stop it.”

Dipper froze for a moment, and then laughed kind of awkwardly. “Heh. I mean, you know, I’ll help, but I’m pretty sure my Great-Uncle Ford’ll be able to handle it.”

“Well, I don’t know much about your uncle, but I don know he’ll almost definitely need you there too.”

“What are you talking about?” Dipper averted his eyes. “They don’t need me.”

“You kidding man?” she turned to him. “The family would fall apart without you. Like, I don’t even want to imagine it.”

“Well, I guess the journal-”

“It’s not just that.” she shook her head. “You’re a problem solver. You think fast on your feet, and you’ve got more guts than most people I know. Come hell or high waters....whatever that means, you’ll fix whatever is hurting your family. If Gravity Falls goes head to head with whatever Bill brings, they’re gonna need you on the front lines.” she turned to face him again. “So promise me you’ll keep going. Because I don’t think they’ll make it without you.”

Dipper looked her in the eyes, and smiled slightly. “Okay.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” He wasn’t sure if he believed her, but...the fact that she believed it meant a lot.

“Alright. Second thing.” she focused the intensity of her gaze. “Look after my family. Please, they...they don’t know what they’d be getting into. Keep them safe, and keep em from going after Bill. That goes for the group too. Promise?”

He nodded. “Promise.”

“And last thing....don’t go looking for Bill yourself either.”

“What? But I thought you said-”

“I meant it, I do really think you can beat him. But not before its time. Not before you have to. Like I said, whatever he’s got planned is coming soon, and the town won’t make it if you get taken out trying to avenge me.”

“I-”

“Dipper.” She looked him in the eye. “Promise.”

He sighed and then nodded again.

“Good.”

Suddenly wind kicked up, blasting their hair to the side (some of Wendy’s getting in Dipper’s eyes). It didn’t seem to affect anything else around them. No trees, no leaves, not even the grass turned under it, but Wendy looked to it with understanding growing in her eyes.

“It’s almost time....” she turned to look at Dipper again. “Dipper, I have to go soon.”

“Wendy-”

“I just wanted to tell you one last thing before I go....” she suddenly couldn’t look him in the eye. “Look, I know that things have been weird between us since...you know, your confession, and I know it must’ve hurt to be rejected like that.”

Dipper flushed. “Uh....” he swallowed hard. “No, no it-...okay, yeah it hurt a little bit, but....it was your choice. And you were right,” he sighed. “I am too young for you, and it totally makes sense.”

Wendy rubbed the back of her head, looking uncomfortable. “Well....I’m glad you were able to take it that maturely. There are a lot of guys who would be bitter, and I wanted you to know that I appreciated it.”

“N-no problem.” His voice came out in a squeak, and he blushed again.

“But I also wanted you to know.” she smiled, and looked directly into his eyes. “You’re definitely someone worth loving. Maybe not by me. But someone. Definitely.”

Dipper’s heart roared in his ears. He felt tears stinging at his eyes again, but his face split into a grin, and he pulled her into a hug. One that she returned more readily this time.

“Please, don’t go.” He mumbled into her shoulder, as the tears poured down his face. “Please.”

She pulled a little out of the hug. Wendy was smiling slightly, but there was a nervousness in her eyes she couldn’t hide. “It’ll be okay, man.” she stood up as suddenly a bright glow opened up behind her. “Tell my family and everyone that I love them, okay? Tell them....tell them I said it before I died, or something. Oh, and Dipper? Steer clear of wood chippers, man, they seriously hurt.” And with another lazy grin, she walked into the light....and everything vanished for Dipper.

Epilogue:

The afterlife was a lot.....emptier than Wendy thought. Based on the preachers her dad was always listening to she had always thought it would be pretty packed up here. Also, a lot more harps and winged guys floating around. But all she could see was a blank white expanse in every direction. There was a smell though, faint and lingering, like....wood chips and tobacco....why was that so-

“Hey kid.”

Wendy whipped around.

A woman stood in front of her, pose casual. She looked young, mid-twenties, but a couple of lines around her mouth and a certain assurance told that she was older than she looked. A pair of glasses perched on her nose and she had a gold cigar, the tip glowing white and the smoke floating in a formless cloud. She had a familiar lazy grin, and long hair the same color as....

Wendy’s eyes welled up with tears. “Mom?!”

Carolyn Corduroy grinned, and held her arms wide open.

Wendy crashed into her. Gods, she even smelled familiar. Her mom had always had a cigarette on her (she used to use em to light up sticks of dynamite when they need to blow out a stump), but when she had the time she would roll her own cigars, lacing the tobacco with woodchips. She had always loved that smell. It mixed with gunpowder that would get stuck in her hair and smoke.

Carolyn back up, taking in her daughter. “Look at you.” she put a hand on top of her head. “Still a short stack, huh?”

Wendy laughed, shoving her hand off. “Just not a tall freak yet.” she wrapped her arms around her mom again. “I missed you so so much.”

“I’ve missed you too.” Tears laced the edge of her mother’s voice, and she sniffed. “You’ve been....so brave.”

“Dad misses you too.” Wendy said, full-on crying now. “And the boys, and....I’ve been trying but-”

“You did so well.” She cupped her face in her hands, smiling softly. “Come on, walk with me. I’ve got a lot to show you.”

They each kept an arm around each other as they walked on. Carolyn held her cigar in the other hand, lifting it occasionally to her mouth and blowing out massive puff of smoke. “Don’t think I have to worry about you catching lung cancer now.” she winked at Wendy. Wendy smiled, and watched the puffs. They seemed to almost form shapes. Small hearts. Tree symbols, not unlike the ones on Dipper’s hat. A couple of times an axe.

The ground beneath their feet faded from the featureless white to springy grass without Wendy noticing where it began. A familiar clean smell washed over her, and it felt pleasantly cool, like the best fall day. Massive trees stretched to the sky. Somewhere birds were singing.

“Afterlife looks more like the woods back home then I thought.”

Carolyn grinned. “There’s a lot of different areas. This place can be pretty much anything you want. The Axolotl’ll show you around later.”

“Wait, Axolotl? Like the lizard think Stan has?”

Carolyn laughed. “Long story, one I’ll tell later.” She climbed up on a nearby boulder, sitting cross-legged. “This place is one of my favorite though. Like you said, its like home. And hey.” She flexed her arms, causing the tattoo on her shoulder of crossed axes to ripple. “We Corduroys never feel more at home than with the trees.”

Wendy laughed, sitting down beside her. “Damn, I forgot what a dork you are.”

Carolyn flicked her forehead. “Don’t use language like that in front of your mother.” She grinned, leaning back against the rock and blowing smoke into the air. Slowly her face sank and became a little more serious. “So....wanted to talk about something.” she looked at Wendy, smiled bittersweetly. “I mean, yeah, there’s a lot of things we have to talk about, but one thing, specifically right now.” She stuck the cigar back in her mouth. “I can’t keep as good an eye on you guys as I’d like. I can mostly just see stuff in the area when you buried me. Means I miss a lot. But.....” She blew out a puff of smoke, that formed a triangle above her head. “I saw how you went just fine.” Carolyn swallowed hard. “I.....I don’t know who that Bill Cipher creep was. And I don’t know much about that Dipper kid. But....” Tears started to pour out of Carolyn’s eyes, and she wiped them away, smiling waterily. “Shit, kid, I’m so proud of you.” She took a deep, shaky breath. “You’ve grown up to be....so so brave, and....I....” she laughed slightly. “Look, gonna be honest, not thrilled you’re here so soon, but....you’re incredible, kid. Sacrificing yourself like that, for the kid, for your family, for, I don’t know, the world, apparently. And....I can’t imagine having a better daughter. You’ve grown up to be better than I could ever imagined, and that’s saying a whole damn lot, because I already thought a hell of a lot about you.”

With those words, it was like a dam broke somewhere in Wendy’s chest. Tears came drizzling down her cheeks and she wrapped her arms around her mom. All the fear, frustration, pain that she had been filling in the past twelve hours....it was like it had been a knot deep in her chest and her mom had tugged at the one string that made the whole thing come undone.

For a moment the two women just held each other, crying hard as they could. Finally, Carolyn sniffed, smiled and patted Wendy on the back. “Alright, nuff with the waterworks.” She slipped off the boulder and held out her hand to Wendy, grinning. “Got a lot to show you kid. And you’ve got a lot to catch me up on.”

Wendy smiled, hopped down, and linked her arm with her mom’s. “Sure thing.”

They started walking off through the woods. “Alright, first things first: has that guy Robbie stopped coming around? I didn’t like the look of him....”

[type2diabetestreatments-blog]

Ask D'Mine: Type 1 Kids and Birthday Parties, How Glucagon Works

New Post has been published on http://type2diabetestreatment.net/diabetes-mellitus/ask-dmine-type-1-kids-and-birthday-parties-how-glucagon-works/

Ask D'Mine: Type 1 Kids and Birthday Parties, How Glucagon Works

Ever wish there was someone to ask all those pressing, confounding, and disconcerting questions about life with diabetes? Someone who really "gets it"? Well, now there is!

If you haven't discovered our diabetes advice column Ask D'Mine yet, now is your chance to jump in! This Saturday series is hosted by veteran type 1, diabetes author and community educator Wil Dubois.

Need help navigating life with diabetes? Email us at AskDMine@diabetesmine.com

Laura from Arizona, type 3, sends us this reach-for-the-Kleenex tale: I have a question about what is the best site for foods for an 8-year-old girl who was just diagnosed last week. I am sorry, I am just so angry! I grew up caring and watching over my father who has had type 1 for 52 years (he is amazing), but when this happened to my little sweetheart niece I about died. She was doing wonderful in this past week, started giving her own injections, guessing her numbers while she checked her blood—just amazing to see.

But she just went to her first birthday party over the weekend and could not eat chips, dips, cake or drink the punch and sodas like all the other kiddos were doing. This is when it all hit her. She has changed, she has to think about what she eats, she has to plan ahead... Her 9th birthday is right around the corner and she told her mom that she does not want to have a party. I need to find a place where we can see the nutrition info; and isn't there some way to make a yummy birthday cake for her?!? I want her to have an amazing birthday, one that she deserves to have. I will be forever grateful for any information you can give me.

Wil@Ask D'Mine answers: Your niece sounds like a trooper-and-a-half! She's a week out of dx and doing her own injections, checking her blood, and thinking about her food. Waaaaaaaaaaaay to go, kiddo! As is often the case, the little persons with diabetes handle this mess better than their families do. (Worst job in the world alert: parent of child with diabetes, especially if you do not already have diabetes yourself.)

So when it comes to our littlest brothers and sisters I don't think anyone will flame me for saying that your first stop should be the Children with Diabetes community. Their food and nutrition section should give you everything you need and more.

As you'll get all the specifics there, I'm going to give you some more global thoughts here. Bear in mind that half the endos out there will be sending me letter bombs after reading this, and that 49% of the mothers of type 1 kiddos will be buying Wil voodoo dolls on eBay... But...

I think your niece should go to parties. And when she's there I think she should eat chips, dips, and cake. I do draw the line at the punch and soda, however. Our kind simply cannot handle liquid sugars. Ever. Well, not recreationally, anyway. As a treatment for low blood sugar it's another thing altogether. Now, back to the chips, dips, and cake. She'll probably need to limit her portions some. She'll need to pack extra insulin, of course. She should have a low-carb breakfast before heading to the party, of course.

In other words, yes, your family needs to take sensible safety precautions, but those medical needs must be balanced with the social needs of the child. Will the party make a train wreck of her blood sugar? Yeah, probably. But how often do these kinds of parties happen? A couple times a year? And how often is a type 1 kiddo's blood sugar a train wreck even when the family does every frickin' thing right? Yeah. About once per week.

I think you just need to take parties in stride. As for her own party, I'm partial to Splenda for making lower-carb yummy birthday cakes. Now remember that at least half the blood sugar impact of the cake is gonna be in the flour. Not much you can do about that, but if you have a cake recipe you like, you can substitute the sugar for Splenda, and drop the blood sugar impact of a slice quite a bit. Splenda has a freaky-looking fake snow consistency in the measuring cup and weighs next to nothing, but it'll work fine and, unlike some other faux sugars, can be used in baking. The cake will have the same flavor and consistency you're used to, it just won't brown quite right. But you're going to cover it with icing anyway, so no one will know. And, of course, you can use Splenda in the icing, too.

So, Laura, no anger. No grief. Your niece is, and will continue to be, the sweetheart she always was. Now, go put on your damn apron, break out the Splenda, and make your niece the yummiest diabetes-friendly cake of all time.

And for the rest of you, today's stock quote for Kimberly-Clark, makers of Kleenex, can be found here.

Ariel from New Mexico, type 3, asks: How long does glucagon take to work? I had read somewhere that it takes 20 minutes! I think if, God forbid, I have to give my four-year-old daughter a shot and she stayed unconscious for 20 minutes I'd die of a heart attack myself!

Wil@Ask D'Mine answers: Wow. What a great question. Glucagon, for those of you who don't know or forgot, is a drug used to intervene in near-death experiences caused by severely low blood sugar. You know, I've carried glucagon with me for years, trained dozens of people (including my own son Rio, right after his 5th birthday) to use it, but never once gave the action time a single thought.

It's instant, right? Well, no. Apparently not.

But before we get into the issue of response time, let's do a quick review. Glucagon is a hormone that causes the liver to release its inventory of sugar. It's the break-glass-in-case-of-emergency drug of last resort for severe hypoglycemia. It's an unstable compound so it must be mixed right before use. Glucagon kits are made by both Eli Lilly under the name of Glucagon Emergency Kit and Novo Nordisk under the name GlucaGen Hypo Kit. As far as I can tell, the only real difference is that Lilly's comes in a red box and the Novo kit comes in an orange box. Both have a prefilled syringe of saline and a vial of glucagon powder. To get it ready to use you must remove the syringe and vial from the case, un-cap the needle, un-cap the vial, inject the saline into the vial, mix it around, then draw it back into the syringe. What could be easier or faster?

Oh wait. Did I forget to mention that this procedure needs to be done by a presumably freaked-out type 3 whose loved one is out cold on the floor from low blood sugar? Right. Glucagon is used when it's too late for glucose tabs, gels, or Skittles. Glucagon is used when lows are so bad the PWD is unresponsive. The procedure above takes less than a minute, but I'd wager it would be one of the longest minutes of a type 3's life.

In fact, I know of one tragic story from the northern part of our state. A panicked mother injected just the saline into her unconscious son. She forgot to do the whole inject, mix, draw thing.

He died.

After I heard about that, I started all my glucagon carrying families on regular fire drills, having them practice with expired kits (minus final injection, of course). The PWDs generally have a great time simulating a low-blood sugar collapse. Oh, speaking of expired, these kits don't last forever and I'd bet that more than half of you are carrying expired ones. Make sure your damn glucagon kit hasn't expired. Go check.

Right now.

I'll wait here for you.

OK, so how long does it take to bring you back from the almost-dead? "One minute" is quoted a lot on the web, but it's false. And I think I know the source of the confusion. The physician prescribing sheet for Lilly's kit also lists another use for glucagon—and you'll love this—as a muscle relaxant for colon exams.

Yes. You always suspected that diabetes would f - - What? Oh. Well, my PG-13 rating won't allow me to clearly spell out what I'm thinking, but I'm sure you can figure out what I'd say next if I could.

Anyway, when injected intravenously, the onset of glucagon as a muscle relaxant is one minute. But nowhere in the scientific literature could I find anything close to a one minute action time for revival from a bad hypo. I think someone, somewhere along the line, saw the colon exam chart, didn't read carefully, and put the one minute time on the web. Since then it's just been repeated again and again. Copy, paste. Copy, paste. Copy, paste.

This is why you should never believe anything you read on the web.

Oh. Except here at DiabetesMine, of course.

In point of fact, the two pharma companies that make glucagon are vague about the action time for hypo revival. The sheet for docs from Lilly says, "An unconscious patient will usually awaken within 15 minutes following the glucagon injection."

Ah.

Usually awaken.

Within 15 minutes.

How comforting.

Novo's glucagon page states their product works "within about 10 minutes."

Ah.

Within about.

Very precise.

So is the Novo product five minutes faster, or is this just marketing BS? I'd still put my money on the only difference between the two being the color of the case.

More fun glucagon tips: Glucagon makes most people puke. So after you stab your loved one, roll them on their side (for complex anatomical reasons, the left side is preferred), so that they don't choke when they throw up. Oh. Unless your diabetic loved one has collapsed on an expensive oriental rug in which case the procedure is stab, drag, roll.

Then call 911. Severe lows, like earthquakes, can have aftershocks. If you just emptied your liver of sugar, you have no more reserves. A second bad low could be a one-way trip to the great beyond, so glucagon use requires a visit to the ER until things stabilize.

Oh, and according to the info sheet in the kits, if your PWD is still out cold after 15 minutes, you can give a second shot. For kids, a kit holds enough for two shots. For adults, you are out of luck unless someone has a second kit handy.

Some people worry about what if? What if the PWD is lights-out because their blood sugar is too high rather than too low? The official advice is to give the shot anyway. Highs take quite a bit of time to kill you. Hours. Severe lows can kill your pretty damn quick. Minutes count.

Where to inject? Several training manuals for school-based personnel are advocating injecting into fat, just like insulin, but the microfilm-sized instructions from both pharma companies advocate straight into muscle of the arm, butt, or thigh. Would that hurt? Hell yeah.

But don't worry, type 3s. If you've broken out the glucagon we're unconscious anyway.

We'll forgive you an achy butt for saving our asses.

This is not a medical advice column. We are PWDs freely and openly sharing the wisdom of our collected experiences — our been-there-done-that knowledge from the trenches. But we are not MDs, RNs, NPs, PAs, CDEs, or partridges in pear trees. Bottom line: we are only a small part of your total prescription. You still need the professional advice, treatment, and care of a licensed medical professional.

Disclaimer: Content created by the Diabetes Mine team. For more details click here.

Disclaimer

This content is created for Diabetes Mine, a consumer health blog focused on the diabetes community. The content is not medically reviewed and doesn't adhere to Healthline's editorial guidelines. For more information about Healthline's partnership with Diabetes Mine, please click here.

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