#anyways 2 years on t and my gender is great

[byronicbrit]

be strong everyone, keep living your best you

(combination with recent national events and a coworker calling T “steroids” just makes me nervous and scared for everyone’s safety and well being)

[lemotmo]

Okay I'm going to partially tell on myself. I am new, as in the Buck/T kiss showed up all over my dash, as did all of Oliver's interviews and I just thought he was the yummiest most delightful human being I had ever seen and heard (my god is accent is heaven) new. And I thought that first kiss was really well done. It was a great scene. Now, that being said, I didn'twant to jump into a show that was seven seasons into the story with zero context, except the stuff I had been seeing on my dash for years. So I started from the beginning, with the full intent and excitement of getting to T in season 7. Imagine my surprise when he popped up occasionally in earlier seasons. His only good part was when we were supposed to believe that Chim could lift him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, haha. That was great.

Anyway by the time I made it to season 7, it was too late. I had just watched 5 seasons of Buck and Eddie. There was zero room for T to compete on any level. Which is why the behavior of some is so confusing to me. Let me say first that I do not think the show always intended to put Buck and Eddie together, I don't think that's been the intention since the beginning. There is however a very good case to make that Eddie's introduction was Buck's actual Bi bell ringing moment though (*what a man plays in the background*). I do however agree that the writing has trended, increasingly so, in that direction. The writers do not hold all the blame however, Oliver and Ryan have kind of acted them into a corner. There are several scenes, multiple scenes, where the acting choices the two of them made were interesting, to say the least (looking at you 'go for the title' kitchen scene I love. Buck was flirting on every possible level in that scene).

Sorry, I got off track, back to my point. The people like me, who came in after the kiss popped up everywhere, being all in on T is somewhat fine. The problem would be the ones who are deliberately refusing to go back and watch the entire series before pontificating on B/T being destiny and all that other nonsense. There is an argument to be made that they're avoiding it because they know most of the history dismantles their current ship fixation. So as a result those people can be easily dismissed because they have zero context to any of their opinions. The ones who were with you all for 5 seasons though, yes I've seen their posts, who lost their shit over 2 pairs of lips touching, is what I cannot wrap my brain around. I completely understand the excitement behind that first kiss. It was a much anticipated moment for BUCK. He was the important person in that scene.

But confusing, or deliberately misinterpreting, Buck's revelation and sigh of relief at finally figuring out something pretty significant about himself, as being about him finding T is a gymnastics act I did not expect to see from so many long haulers. I mean, it should be obvious but T wasn't important in that scene. His gender was what was important. Which is why they have barely bothered to show him since that episode. And the interactions they have shown, minus the hospital kiss, that they made sure to show Eddie's reaction to btw, have all been red flag scenes. Little things that show this relationship isn't really that different from his previous relationships. Buck may have figured out the gender part but he's still making the same relationship mistakes. It's why the few scenes they've had together, and it's the bare minimum of effort, have been about Buck trying to initiate some level of communication and emotional connection and him being dismissed or having it turned into a daddy kink joke. I also think Oliver's enthusiasm dipped drastically by the end and it showed.

Which brings me to Eddie. The show, and more so, Oliver and Ryan have already done the hard part. The emotional connection, which is way more difficult to pull off than a physical connection, is already there. Their chemistry is already established.They're partners in every way but physically. As a result it is not a huge character leap to eventually bring a physical relationship into it as well. That will not be a shocking character development for either character. It goes back to the way the two have been written and they way Oliver and Ryan have interrupted those scenes. I won't touch their interviews because I think it's pretty clear, at this point, they seem to agree it's the way to go. There's more story to explore with them learning how to navigate an actual relationship than there is in bringing in other, lesser characters, to firstly try to compete with that connection, and then try to establish endgame status. I don't know. It's not about any two pairs of lips touching it's about the right two pairs of lips touching. Because when it's the right couple the characters get that sigh and exhale of finally! But the audience gets their sigh and exhale of finally as well. That is the point.

Sorry this got looooong 🤣

Ooooh Nonny, you speak right to my heart.

First of all, thank you for going back all the way to season 1 to actually sit down and watch the show. We aren't just making up Buddie. It has been there since the beginning. I'm so glad you got to witness their beautiful history together and that you realised just how right they are for each other.

I can't speak for the people who suddenly turned 180° and dropped Buddie for BT. I have been shipping Buddie from season 2, so I don't understand their reasoning or motivation either. It like you said so beautifully:

"It's not about any two pairs of lips touching. It's about the right two pairs of lips touching."

And that is what it comes down to. We can be content with a lackluster, meaningless relationship for queer rep. Or we can be exhilerated with an amazingly complex and years in the making relationship, which will be so much better for queer rep. It will be revolutionary in so many ways to make a slow burn queer ship canon.

(Before anyone comes at me for talking about queer rep. I have slowly been figuring myself out over the last couple of years and, looking back at my life and relationships, I've come to realise that I definitely belong somewhere on the ace spectrum. Not sure where exactly, I'm still searching for the right label, but it feels right to me. This is actually the first time I said this on a public forum for people to read. Kinda scary to be honest.)

I know what I would choose for myself if I was faced with these two options. Why wouldn't we automatically choose this for Buck and Eddie as well? It's mind-boggling really.

So yeah: queer Eddie and Buddie canon in season 8! All the way!

Don't apologise for your great post. I loved reading it. Feel welcome to drop in whenever you want. :)

[genderqueerdykes]

hi! i have identified as a trans man for over 2 years now, but still feel kind of unsure about it because sometimes i enjoy my femininity and, while i used to get great joy out of it, increasingly i’ve been feeling nothing when i get he/him-ed. anyways, my girlfriend (trans, on e) suggested i try going on t for a little while, just to see how it feels. ignoring the health establishment pain of actually getting on t, how long does it take to notice an effect? how long can i be on t before it’s too late to change my mind?

love the blog, thanks so much

hey there, thanks for taking the time to reach out!

i just wanted to start off by saying that it is absolutely okay to be a trans man who enjoys their femininity- i'm one, too! trans men are allowed to be feminine, there are no requirements stating that trans men must hate being feminine (or women) in order to be a trans man. and it's not an issue that you don't like he/him pronouns, they're not a requirement to being a trans man, either! you're allowed to use whatever pronouns you like, and its your choice how feminine you want to be. none of those things make you not a trans man

i would generally say around 6 months you're going to start having your voice deepen, meaning thickening of the vocal cords is happening. some people will see this effect sooner, some may see it later, others may not see much of it at all depending on their dose. if you take low dose T you may not see these effects for until it's been a longer amount of time. some other things can be reversed like muscle and fat distribution, but once you've reached the point where your voice starts dropping, that is something that cannot be reversed.

i just wanted to say going on T also isn't a requirement to be a trans man- there are many trans men who never go on T for a variety of reasons. you are absolutely free to try it and i hope it helps if you do so! but i just wanted to say you don't have to if you're unsure :)

thank you so much! take care of yourself, i wish you and your gf all the luck in your gender journeys! feel free to ask any more questions you mayhave

[powerfulblob]

Nimona Trans Happy dances !!

aaaaaah so excited about this

BREAKING NEWS

ND Stevenson just posted this on his Substack : I’m putting it here so there’s an image-described version of it somewhere on the web.

[NOTE: ALL ART BELONGS TO ND STEVENSON, @gingerhaze! I’M JUST REPOSTING HERE SO I CAN INCLUDE AN IMAGE DESCRIPTION]

[ID: Text in dark red handwriting that reads “I’ve been getting to talk about Nimona a lot lately! Which is great because it’s one of my favorite things to talk about!” All text in the comic will be in the same dark red handwriting. end image description]

[ID:

Part 1: Text reads “Nimona is a webcomic-turned-graphic-novel I made ten years ago.” An arrow connects the text and points to a cartoon of ND Stevenson: He holds a picture of a shark with arms, legs, and boobs running to the left. He has short red hair, wears a striped shirt, jean shorts, striped pants, and boots. He wears an earring in his right ear: The other ear is hidden because of the angle. Small lines float from his head in a circular pattern.

Part 2: Text reads “there’s a shark with boobs in it and they gave me a medal for it.” An arrow connects the text and points to a cartoon of Nate: This time, he wears a suit, and wears a medal. He wears an earring in his left ear: The other ear is hidden because of the angle. Small lines float from his head in a circular pattern.

Part 3: Text reads “it’s about to be an animated movie” 

Part 4: Text reads “the movie is really good” 

Part 5: Text reads “most of you are probably aware of all this but idk I don’t know your life.” Below is a cartoon of Nate in a T-shirt: He has an ear piercing and a slight stubble.

end image description]

[Image description:

Text reads “anyway there’s one question I‘ve been getting a lot:” 

Below, ND Stevenson has a conversation with an unseen person.

Unseen Person: So... The main character is a shapeshifter. Unseen Person: Is this a metaphor for transness? ND Stevenson: haha, looking back that seems obvious! but at the time I had no idea! ND shrugs, smiling slightly. He wears a sweater.

end image description]

[ID: Text reads “and so”  “caught up in the glow of hype and nostalgia” Below the text, Nate goes onto a computer propped on a stack of books. He smiles, and a few lines float off his head.

He says “hey!” “let’s head back to Tumblr and see what I was posting about Nimona back in the day!” 

Below that, there is a cartoon of a search bar, cursor, a few lines, and sound effects that read “tik tik tik.” The URL reads “gingerhaze.tumblr.com.” 

end image description]

[ID: A screenshot of a post on Nate’s Tumblr. It is an illustration of Nimona and Ballister. Ballister has grey armour, iron prosthetic hand, black hair and a mustache and beard, as well as a red cape. Nimona has several piercings, a chainmail top, dark grey dress, and short red hair with an undercut. The two seem to be in thought, with Ballsiter frowning, hands on hips, while Nimona puts a finger to chin, as if in thought. The author’s text reads “I just kind of really like drawing both of these dudes.” The tag reads “Nimona” in all caps. It was posted 11 years ago.

end image description]

[ID: Screenshot of a post on Nate’s tumblr. A user caled fylum-gordata replied to the photo, saying “Nimona’s a dude. MIND BLOWN.” 

Nate replied with: “Haha, "dudes" = "people in general" in my vocabulary. Nimona's a girl, but she can certainly be whatever gender and sex she wants, depending on her mood. Since she's a shapeshifter and all. Y'know.” The post is tagged with “Nimona” and was also posted 11 years ago.

End image description]

[ID:

Part 1: A cartoon of Nate’s face. It has a blank expression with his mouth closed but stretched out. Part 2: Nate says “oh” “buddy”

end image description]

[ID:

Illusration. Nimona, with a grin, says “I’m your new SIDEKICK” while Ballister, with a blank but angry expression, says “No.” 

Nimona, this time has more developed muscles, the same costume, arm and leg hair, a beard, and chest hair text underneath reads “I had so much fun drawing Beefy Dude Nimona on today’s page that I started wondering what it would be like if she’d been a beefy dude from the start.

The post is tagged Nimona. End image description]

[ID: A cartoon of Nate. He seems a bit angry or frustrated, almost, and says “BUDDY” presumably for not seeing this in hindsight earlier.  

end image description]

[ID:

A user called strix-alba asked “Hi! I have a Nimona question. When she’s being a beefy dude, for example, or something without a clear gender, does she switch pronouns? Does she generally stick with female ones? Or does Nimona not really care because she’s a shapeshifter and there are waaaaay too many other things to focus on?” 

Nate replied: “She’s been an octopus, a cat, and a giant flaming monster. I don’t really think it mkaes a whole lot of difference to her what the sex of whatever body she’s in at the moment is. All her bodies are different sizes and have different parts. She adapts to each one to use it in the best possible way, but it doesn’t change HER. I can’t say for certain if she’s ALWAYS identified as female, but during the timeframe of the comic she does.” 

The post is tagged with “Nimona” and was posted 8 years ago.

end image description]

[ID: A cartoon of Nate looking shocked, eyes wide, mouth open, saying “BUD” with the U and the D getting bigger and bolder.

end image description.]

[sharkneto]

Hey, sorry if this is a bit of a personal question - and feel free to ignore it if it is - but how did you know you wanted to start hrt? I am someone who IDs as transmasc and knows in an ideal world, I would've loved to have been born a guy. But the idea of going on hormones is terrifying because I can't figure out if I really want it... I worry about regretting it, or it making me 'unappealing' physically, or my friends judging me for it. Did you ever struggle with similar worries?

I think every person thinking about and starting HRT goes through this. A rite of passage, if you will, and also not a bad thing to do. HRT is a big step, some of the changes (especially on T) are irreversible. It's good to think through if it's a choice that's right for you or not.

That said, it's also Just A Thing You Can Do. I first started really questioning my gender at the end of 2020 (thank you, Elliot Page, for coming out and making me go "oh shit, you can do that?"). I got a therapist to talk about gender... Mid 2022? And started hormones spring 2023, top surgery a year later.

Before getting the therapist, I spent over a year Just Thinking About It. And a lot of the thoughts were around the changes on T and if I'd like them or not or if I'd regret them. If I'd be ugly, after being conventionally attractive as a woman.

It hits a point, though, where eventually you have to pull the plug one way or another. I spent a lot of time thinking about how my body would change on T. A Lot. With longing. I caught myself putting things off Until I Knew For Sure and because I didn't want to do it while being perceived as a woman. I was sitting, treading water for a hypothetical Later that I could start moving towards at any time. I was scared for the Teenage Round 2 phase, and didn't want to spend months being "ugly and awkward", but then the months passed anyway and I was still in the same spot.

HRT isn't an all-or-nothing thing, you can ease into it on a low dose. My doctor started me on a low dose and we ramped up over months. Some T changes can start pretty quickly (voice dropping, bottom growth - this isn't true for everyone, but was true for me). If these changes excite you, make you feel good - great! Keep going! If they scare you, feel wrong - stop. Assess. Figure out what about it isn't right (a gender therapist for all of this process is a Huge Help). In early days if you stop T, the changes can revert, for the most part. But you can always stop at any time.

The bigger thing I actively worked to wrap my head around before starting HRT is - Who Cares If You're Wrong? What's right for you now might not be right for you later. The idea of detransitioning was scary to me, society has such a weird spotlight on it, the Right uses people who have detransitioned as props against transition. But it shouldn't matter. At the end of the day, if I do change my mind, I'll know myself better, and I don't think it's wrong to chase and find comfort in your own body.

A year+ on T, I've mostly made it through the ugly duck phase, I think. I was lucky, I didn't get bad acne or get too oily or anything (after having horrible acne in my first puberty). Most of what I dealt with was the chronic baby face, where I was getting read as male but a teenager - I'm almost 30 and a woman wanted to card me over a free T-shirt at a baseball game because it had beer logos on it. After some middle months of changes and going "oh my god what am I doing" and not feeling confident in how this was all going to turn out, I think of myself as relatively attractive and I think I'm just going to get more vain as my beard comes in. Some of that is physical, sure, but I think a significant amount of that is me feeling more confident in myself and liking the body I'm in more. I was never a selfie or picture person, now I am. I joke I'm like a budgie, always looking at myself if there's a reflective surface nearby. I'm more excited to exercise, I'm interested in lifting weights for the first time, I'm curious what my body on T can do and become. Keep your eyes on the pieces that are going well, the changes exciting you, and let the rest catch up.

My social circle helped a lot. I'm very lucky and blessed to have great friends and family, all of whom are supportive. If you don't have friends who are supportive of you, that are judging you for exploring yourself rather than lifting you up for it, it's a sign to expand the social circle and find ones that are. Family is harder, but that's a thing you have to navigate for yourself and find your own boundaries for.

So, there's no ~one moment~ where you're 100% certain that medical transition is right for you. It's a huge unknown and you're changing the body you've had your entire life. At some point, though, you just have to jump and see how it lands. Part of being alive is making mistakes and doing things you might regret.

That said, the regret rate for trans people is something like 3%. The regret rate for knee surgery is something like 20%. Trust yourself.

[fruixtii]

hey a little tag game i want to try!!! order your favorite twst dorms from least fave to favorite!

Scarabia: their characters on their own are good but seeing them together makes me extremely uncomfortable?? it’s probably because the orientalism plus people shipping together..it’s not jamil and kalims fault but i have a complicated relationship with scarabia

Octavinelle: idk they just don’t stand out to me. jade is neat but i feel like the tweels are overhyped. don’t really have an opinion about azul

Savanaclaw: again the characters are great but. as a whole they don’t stand out to me. i love jack and ruggie but leona 😬 if you got rid of the sarcasm and smug expression he would be a cool character (i kin him more than i would like) but i feel like he’s wasted potential. also book 2 was the hardest to get through because it was so boring it really did them dirty

Heartslabyul: the card guys!! don’t really care much about them either..i usually like alice in wonderland vibes but their dorm uniforms are the worst things i’ve ever seen. WHY DO THEY WEAR T-SHIRTS?? other than that i don’t have much to say about them.

Pomefiore: THE GAYS okay they’re awesome. this is mostly because of rook i just really like rook. and rookvil. epels great to actually. also on the complete opposite note their dorm uniforms are amazing (maybe even my favorite) i would totally wear them myself. but even though they’re in the top three i don’t really think about them more than any of the other dorms.

Ignihyde: okay of course my second favorite dorm is the cute family. what did you expect. but also they are so interesting?? book 6 has been the best book so far especially with all the lore. also ortho is best boy AND LITERALLY A ROBOT. how can you not like precious robot boy who loves his brother. also their designs are cool the hades hair and teeth are very gender.

Diasomnia: you already knew this was coming. my beloved dark romanticism found family dorm<33 i am literally obsessed with them okay. not only are their designs peak gender but they’re WRITING is so. augh. just the contrast between them. we got two faes who are centuries old and have experienced years upon years of hardship. war. suffering. and then we have two (one and a half) humans who have never experienced loss. or grief. they are honest and hardworking and loyal, they represent youth and joy!! and yet they all have so much LOVE and TRUST for eachother it makes me go INSANE!!!! also you can never miss with gothic aesthetics and fairies…literally the greatest thing out there

anyways in conclusion i think any dorm that isn’t diasomnia and doesn’t have tragedy and fate weaved inside them are plain and boring. if i placed your favorite dorm low feel free to tell me why im wrong and why they are the best!! i would love to hear :)) (also feel free to include ramshackle too)

tagging: @rayroseu-reblogs @ethanwinterfan69 @drdepper @shrimpyjustwrites @llondonfog @wondergeek @frogeloise @morays @hxneylavendxr @teslathelame @the-v-lociraptor @anotherlavendergay @chaoticsnacc @aloodonut @valsol-909 if you guys would like<3

[sorensolsikke]

[introduction post

bottom text]

hola, my name is soren – after that owl from the zack snyder animation movie which was probably an allegory of nazis??? – i am seventeen, hungarian, queer and diagnosed autistic (half-officially diagnosed adhd). i am also an alterhuman, and i have a fursona. if you are ready for the deeper shrek-like onion layers of my personality, you can find me curled up like an angry snake on the bottom of the post.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

here i am, delivering my beloved labels, only for you<3

i am pansexual, poly (but right now in a closed and comitted relationship) and genderfluid. here's a link where i explain my gender, if you are interested. anyways, please choose to use any pronouns you find suitable for me, including my neo/xenopronouns: ze/zem, sol/sols, wave/waves, abys/abyss, drae/dragos, pup/pups, bee/bees (i don't demand anyone to use them, i just like to think about myself by these).

i am a dragonkin with golden retriver hearttype, otherlinks other than cheetah and barn owl are yet to be discovered!! lately, i realized i don't like to be called nonhuman, therian or otherlink. I prefer being called alterhuman, -kin, and otherhearted, because even tho i feel disconnected from humanity itself, i'd like to embrace my own human side the same way i do with my animalistic one. here's a link for further explanation.

i am a burnt out highschooler, studying biology, can't wait to study my special interest [psychology] in a university. i make art, but usually would rather not post about it.

plus because i really love typology, my mbti is infj-t, melancholic-sanguine, enneagram is 4w5 sx/so with a strong 2, big five is RLOAI.

i like to mess around on my account, i have lots of reblogs, some og posts and i may vanish sometimes for a couple of days. this blog isn't for creating content, but for my own entertainment. my tag for original posts is #soren's hoard of words

DNI if you are a general shit of a person towards anyone who didn't hurt you or others, so if you are intolerant. DNI with mostly nsfw content. other than that, i would be happy if you interacted with me or my posts!!✨🤍✨🤍

tw: sh, healing from depression

i've spent the last couple of years with recovering from depression, different types of self harm, and generally trying not to kill myself. i have spent two weeks in a psychiatry, and i have been on therapy for five years now. i am proud that finally i can say i am doing great!! for more loredrops, stay in tuneee

(i am no fictionkin as alterhuman, but i like to collect these guys. if it's offensive towards anyone, please educate me)

[anakinsafterlife]

So in addition to re-watching Forever Knight, I'm also watching Highlander: The Series again. They're basically companion shows because they were on TV at about the same time and address many of the same themes, in addition to both being urban fantasies. Their fandoms were also populated by many of the same people.

I was hugely into Highlander for years and wrote fanfic and was in the fandom and was basically crazy for it, mostly because of Methos, the oldest immortal, but I was also watching it in a time pre-You Tube, pre-torrents, pre-everything. We all taped our favourite eps from tv, but most of us didn't tape the complete shows because that just wasn't feasible in terms of time, space, etc. But obviously at least a few people did, because the shows are online now even though they were never released on DVD (edit: FK was released much later, but as far as I know HL was not).

Anyway, one of the peculiar things about watching Highlander in the late nineties was that, although the show had just finished its original run, for some kind of licensing reason that was never entirely clear to me at the time, season one was never played in Canada. It might have originally been, but every replay of the show started with season 2, and I came in right around the time the show was wrapping up or just slightly after, so I never actually saw season one. This was frustrating to me, but since my favourite characters all come in after season 2 starts I didn't get too worked up about it or go to great lengths to view it. But it was a kind of itch that was was never scratched.

Fast-forward to 2022 and I found HL online, the complete series, including season one. I'm actually enjoying it a lot. MacLeod is a lot less of a pain in the ass, quite a bit more relaxed and less sanctimonious, not to mention not quite so 1 BILLION XP INVINCIBLE. Tessa is actually a lovely character. And Richie is very funny in his younger incarnation, with a lot of his rough edges still there.

The show itself still has some rough edges too, as the writers worked out exactly what the mythos was going to be. For example, the Gathering appears to be happening at the beginning of the show, and MacLeod is convinced that no immortal has long left to live, but that convinction appears to have faded even by season two, since it isn't mentioned again, to my recollection.

But my biggest surprise has been Darius, because Darius is a lot like Methos. He's a priest and Methos isn't, but Methos is a researcher hiding in a secret organization, which is quite similar. Darius, like Methos, is a very old man with a young face, not to mention a former warlord who converts to peace (via Light Quickening, which is very interesting, and I do wonder if that's why Duncan is quicker to forgive Darius his past than he was Methos, because Darius is in some ways an entirely different person, while Methos changed the hard way. That actually makes it more commendable, but the blame still belongs to him as well, and you know Duncan...).

Additionally, Darius is a mentor who can predict Duncan's failings before they happen (although less openly cynical than Methos, he clearly understands the way of the world) exactly as happens on multiple occasions with Methos. Both are people that Duncan looks up to and respects intensely. The only thing missing in the Duncan-Darius relationship is the more casual element of friendship (Methos works very hard to dispel Mac's initial awe, which really backfires later), and that homoerotic tension that was always present between MacLeod and Methos, but other than that... I get the feeling that the show was missing a mentor for Duncan and Methos fit the bill. But while he was clearly conceived as a Darius-remix, Methos is a lot more fun, and seemingly far more of a chameleon than Darius was, in terms of how much he changed over the centuries, as well as a kind of fluid gender identity that was never clearly stated but which was easy to perceive. And because of the nature of his own paradigm shift, which was not a supernatural event, you can still see many elements of darkness in Methos that are seemingly absent in Darius.

[wheat-angel]

Questions 1-5 from the Casual Ask Game for Wheatley if he doesn't mind (@dzvagabond)

(Thank you for the ask @dzvagabond ! You're also giving me the chance to answer this with the two different Wheatley's that I F/O. >:3c)

1. Well, go on, introduce yourself!

Oh bloody- THAT'S what I was forgetting to do yesterday! Sorry sorry, I'll get on with that now.

'Ello there! I'm Wheatley Merchant. Here's a picture of me Ry drew.

(Ignore the date that's wrong now whoops)

Uhhh I'm not sure what else to tell you other than what's on that reference, honestly, kinda already covers a lot, yeah? I mean, obviously I'm the one on the left right now. But that's a given. I suppose th@t'S mE-

...uH, 'eLl0?

'Ello?

Oh! Hi there. Sorry had to connect in to see the question- Oh I thought I forgot something! Well, let me do that now: My name is Wyatt Lee. Sector- Nope, not the MCA, Lee.

Uh, 'scuse me. Force of habit, MCA is where I work y'see. J-Just call me Lee. Anyways, I have a drawing of me and Rylan that she drew... Ah! Found it!

Uh, let's see, I'm 7'0- Yes I'm serious and yes the weather is good up here- and as you can see I'm an android. I'm pansexual and use He/Him pronouns. Uh, I think that's all the basics? Let's see, what's next?

(The rest of Lee's responses will be Purple for the sake of ease.)

2. So, how have you and (Rylan) been? What have you two been up to recently?

Been good! Not really much of note being honest. Except Halloween recently, but we just kinda cuddled and ate candy.

Great! The only thing I can think of is we went to a work party for Halloween with some co-workers/friends. Ry's been going out more and more so I can go to a few parties which I appreciate. I personally love em, but I promise I pay it back in full by equally spending time inside with her. And even if they don't wanna go that's OK too!

3. How did you and (Rylan) meet anyways? What was that first encounter like?

...Back in Aperture. Yeahhh that's uh. I don't think I really need to describe the first encounter besides we were in a bad situation and trying to get out of it. So uh. Skip.

It was when Rylan first started working for the MCA. They got scared shitless when they heard my voice for the first time. Nearly jumped a full foot off the ground... Then apologized when they saw me and said "Sorry, you just sounded like a friend I had." Uh, I kinda didn't get it then, but looking back, they were talking about their Wheatley from their world.

4. So, like, how is (Rylan) as a person?

Ohhh where to begin? She's just- They're so amazing y'know? I mean, they're the whole package of kind, generous, steadfast in her morals, loyal, funny... And she is... So beautiful to me. In like- A She AND gender-neutral way? Anyways, honestly, couldn't ask for more.

Well, I mean, what's not to love? She's smarter than she gives herself credit for, they'll be patient with me, well except for when I'm taking my time heheh. That's- That's a joke. Just teasing. Anywho- honestly I love them for the kindness they got, and the moral compass... Plus their laugh is EVERYTHING to me.

...Also, bonus points for being damn pretty. Like my god- They are a fucking knockout.

5. Any upcoming plans with (Rylan)? Like in the next coming week or even month maybe?

Christmas! And uh- otherwise that's kinda it. Nothing really planned.

Oh, just Christmas. And since we went to a Christmas work party last year, and we didn't go to the Halloween one that year... Yeah you can imagine where I'm heading with this one- doing vice versa this year. Though before holidays come to give us our off days, Ry is trying to figure out presents for our close group friends from work. I mean, I am too. One of them is really hard to shop for- *cough cough* Emmerson *cough* -but we'll get through it and then we're scot free to cuddle up during the holidays.

[lavenderlyncis]

Okay, so, this is gonna be a long post about my gender identity I guess, because I have been struggling and need to express it in some way

Tw: struggle with gender identity and experiences with misgendering

I usually don't care about labels too much. I do what I want and that's it. For the past year and a half I have gradually outed myself to people as a trans man. I have an ID with my preferred gender and even a job with my "new" name. And I am happy about that

However, it's always been all a bit weird to me. Most of you don't know what I look like, so it's easy for you to gender me correctly, but if you knew what I looked like, if you knew me irl, you'd have big issues since I don't look trans at all. I barely look masc. The very most people assume of me is that I am a lesbian, but no one ever thinks of me as man. Every single person in my life has a problem with gendering me correctly. Every single one. There is no one who never made a mistake, even those that never knew me under my deadname

I've been told that that's a privilege. Since I don't look trans, I'm safe from hate crimes by people that don't know me (if you disregard the whole looking like a woman or lesbian thing that makes going outside inherently dangerous). But it's really not. Getting misgendered every day of your life by everyone that you've ever known is not a privilege. Knowing the only people I could ever date are bisexuals because I am not man enough to be desired by gay men or straight women and not wan enough for straight men and gay women is not great either. I struggle with feeling undesireble and monstrous anyway, I really did not need the extra pressure

I guess maybe I am not a man. Maybe I'm genderfluid. Going back and forth between it all. I am never a woman. But sometimes I am not really a man. I mean, look at me. Listen to the sound of my voice, my mannerisms. It's not very masculine at all. Sometimes I do look more traditionally male. Or like someone despereately trying to do so

I love tumblr. On here, I get treated like a flamboyant man and I know that other people here actually see me that way. But my real life is so much more different. It's barely survivable. Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier to just go back to being a woman on here so it would hurt less when I have to go into the real world. Not even my therapiat can gender me correctly, she always does it wrong and then corrects herself

But I don't want that. I am not a woman. It's just that no one else sees that. Not even other trans people. Yes, other trans people that I know irl have trouble with gendering me correctly. There is some hope however. I have a friend group that... really tries to gender me correctly and enforce it with everyone around us. They do make mistakes, but I feel like they are the only ones who are really getting it. Ironically, they are all cishet people and I am one of the maybe 2 queer people that they know, yet somehow they are better allies to me than most of the queer people I met in my life (with one big exception but that's not relevant right now)

Why am I even like this? Life would be so much easier if I were just someone else. I'm even tired of correcting people when they misgender me. One of my uni friends misgenders me a lot. She doesn't mean to, she just... doesn't know a lot about the topic I guess. And I don't know how to correct her. I don't want her to feel guilty about it and I am tired of explaining things to everyone all the time. Every time I introduce myself with my male name, I either have to justify myself for being named that way, or the other person just assumes I'm a woman anyway. The only people who have gendered me correctly immediately are people that only know me through emails since they have never seen my face

AND I DON'T EVEN MAKE A HOT WOMAN, THIS IS A SCAM

And sometimes I don't mind being feminine, I like it. I just am never ever a woman. Now, I actively try to make myself more masc, even if that's not what I want all the time, just so people believe me that I'm trans. Yesterday, I had a Professor say to me that it's great that I support trans people. Sir... I am one of those trans people and you KNOW that! Why is it so hard to believe??? I DON'T GET IT

The only person at uni who really gets it is my History professor. He's a real one. My favourite person on earth

In conclusion, I am probably going to a self help group now

[skyjynxart]

Mmm sorry.

Ah, the good ol’ readmore yellfest. Seriously no need to read this, I just need to get it off my chest. If you do skim through, big fat TW for transphobia, and like- body image issues? This is a fucked up little diary entry and I’m going to delete it later- this is purely for catharsis & self-reflection after I’ve had some sleep.

And a note to that one very close friend who may read this despite being warned off: I know it’s stupid on some level, I know this started like 2 weeks ago, and I am yelling here so I DON’T yell in your direction again so shoo.

.

.

I like to think I’m someone who handles bigotry well. Most of the time, things slide off me like water off a duck. I’m at this point pretty visibly gender non-conforming, because I’ve been on T for like a year and a half, but refuse to cut my hair off. Microaggressions pretty much mean nothing to me at this point, I hear them all the time, and 99% of the time they’re unintentional and from complete strangers in a town I don’t really like anyway.

Sometimes people are deliberately cruel- but then I can just avoid them, and that’s the end of it. Even at work, where I might have to see certain patrons regularly, there’s juuust enough protections in place for me that I can reasonably refuse to interact with them after they’ve said something, and if I were to gather up the energy to go to HR about it, they’d at least probably be talked to about it.

It hits a little different coming from someone I know online who I thought of as friendly, if not a friend.

It especially hits different when it’s about something I’m not- used to.

Specifically, it hits really fucking hard when it’s comments like ‘it makes me want to gag’ and ‘seriously nobody wants to see that’ and ‘Ive never seen this side of trans’ ( grammatical nightmare aside, that IS a direct quote ), and these comments are being made about an OC that I chose to update an old femme design into a transmasc one. One that I chose to keep the old art of around because the whole point is that we trans folx don’t just pop out of the womb with top surgery scars.

And with the bulk of that disgust being directed at the fact that, when drawing a nude body reference of this OC, I drew him with a vagina ( can I still say vagina on tumblr? ). You know. Like... Trans men are typically born with. Like a great majority of trans men have, because bottom surgery is expensive and painful and frankly doesn’t really work as well when it comes to giving you functioning parts as one would assume. They can’t just- graft a dick onto someone.

It’s like people wanna support us until they’re confronted with the reality of what being trans means.

And I guess this just hits hard because I already struggle with feeling-- like I’m wanted on like, a very basic level lmao, but particularly with internalising a lot of rhetoric and frankly narrow representation of transmasc people ( skinny or buff af, white, short hair, no hips, only clockable by voice or height, still hairless somehow, and either wearing a strap in sexytimes or not sexy at all ) that excludes someone who presents the way I do pretty heavily on multiple counts.

So someone making those kinds of comments because they don’t like that I re-designed an OC to reflect parts of my experience- parts of my body that I am struggling to love, but can love more easily on a piece of fiction made out of pixels- I guess it makes sense that it’s circling around in my head even weeks later. And I’ve never really- felt hit by transphobia in this way- I’ve never felt cut directly by it before because I’m usually so fucking prepared, and so used to recognising when there’s a high risk and cutting people off before they have a chance to enact this kind of shit and hurt me with it.

I dunno I’m dealing with a lot of weird things for the first time in my life because my late 20s is a weird as fuck time to exist, and my body is changing from age and a second puberty at the same time, and some of those changes are amazing things that I’m happy about while others are waking a lot of internalised issues I never knew I had until now, and this was just a really fucking inopportune time for something like that to come along, and ever since those screenshots got shared with me I just- haven’t been able to feel right or comfortable. At first I thought okay, I am fueled by 99% spite, so I’m gonna draw SO MUCH transguy smut now, but--

every time I sit down to do it, I freeze up.

I don’t know why- this has never happened to me before. And I hate it. I hate that words not even spoken directly to me- maybe even because they weren’t spoken directly to me, because then I have to wonder how many other people are secretly saying and thinking the same things- can make me question my body, question what I draw, question-- so much about myself. I fucking hate it.

[olivieraa]

I'm at such a weird, weird place mentally. Like I'm just kinda floating around. And there's posts I wanna make about my feelings on specific things

Women for example

Rad-feminism seems very pro women, which is great, bc nothing else has ever been pro-women. Lib-feminism was anti-women without me knowing it during the years I was a libfem (again, didn't know I was a libfem, didn't even know there were different types of feminism)

And I was surrounded by only libfems. The most vocial obviously being Americans. And no matter how anti-American these American libfems are, they're still so insanely unaware how American they still talk and act, like the world revolves around them. Every single American friend I had on here had similar ways they wrote and spoke, just blissfully unaware that not everything that happens there happens elsewhere.

But anyway, yeah, I was very very VERY pro-women. To the point I felt like I was annoying. Esp when it came to violence against women. I was the only one in my corner being as anti violence against women as possible. Friends would "like" my posts, but a like doesn't always mean agreement. A like can just mean "I am a friend and I saw your post" or "hey I dont agree but I'm liking your post cause I want you to know I read it", etc.

I was rooting for women in every libfem way as well tho (tho I dont think these actually are pro-women), from being pro-stripper, to pro-porn star, pro-prostitution, pro-bdsmer, all these things. Always prioritising the women's choice and voice.

And then I... had an odd year. I moved away across the country for college. And I was in a dorm. And I honestly cant even explain how much I wasn't myself when I was there. I drank a lot, and I had an on and off again thing with what you would basically describe as an MRA. And had sort of a threesome with him and one of his female friends (and when I saw that he was an MRA, lets just say I was shocked he even HAD one female friend, a black liberal af feminist). Oh, and she loved being hurt during sex (not that I did it, he did).

Why the fuck did I partake in being with this guy? And anything he did? Honestly, I feel like I'd need to bring an essay into a therapist to explain it and I still dont think they'd understand.

Like, ok... how to even sort of explain. Gender posts and sexuality posts have been cringy for a long time now. With people making up a new type for each per day. From being cloudgender to acronymsexual. Its insane.

But......... I've never... ever related to someone's sexuality before. I dont relate to being straight, lesbian or bi. And I thought pansexual fit until but Ive heard 5 different definitions for it and then asexual but Ive heard about 50 definitions for that so I've never been able to explain it.

What I experienced during that odd year was an attraction to the freedom I was experiencing. The location I was living in. Not... the people I engaged in sexual acts with. I projected these things onto them. I projected my freedom onto human people, especially the guy, and became kind of addicted to being around him, despite knowing deep down I didn't like him as a person. I kept questioning why the fuck a feminist like me would go near someone who stood for everything I hated. He made me hate women. He made me jealous of other women.

And it took about 2 years before I started feeling normal again after this happened. To not look at women with this hatred. (and yet, still remained protective of women, but also extremely jealous and always wondering "oh I bet HE would be attracted to her" and "oh she's SO doing that for male validation")

So I recovered from that weird year, but... I never went back to myself before that year. Which is why not even radical feminism fits me. Women... annoy me too much. I literally cant keep defending them and boiling it down to internalised misogyny and heteronormativity still being so prevalent.

I was there when TikTok started. Two years before it blew up. And it was thanks to that male from that weird year. He showed me what he looked at and it was very VERY anti-women. At the time there was about 12 tiktok trends, yeah, ONLY 12. And most were about sexualising women or telling women to get back in the kitchen, or hurting women. And women and young girls were the ones predominantly taking part in them. Belle Delphine was rising on there, this woman who is so anti-women and perpetuates the worst misogyny and is causing women to hate themselves, but rad feminism will tell me "oh its not her fault tho!"

No......... no it is her fault. I absolutely cant stand her. And any woman like her. For women like her I truly dont believe in the idea that she's being socialised to act like that. She absolutely loves making fun of women and making men happy.

And unfortunately in this day and age, its so insanely common. Women are constantly defending and sticking up for men, during a time when their eyes should be waaaaaay more fucking open by now. So I just cant do it. I cant love women like I used to. I'm still as protective over women as I was, but liking them... is a different story.

I'm hoping I'm going through a phase. And I'll be different in 2 years. And regret this mindset and making a post like this. Maybe my judgement is clouded, and I need to start seeing other things, to bring me to a more radfem mindset. But I'm defo not a libfem, and I lean into radfeminism, but I defo cant be one, unless I combat this hurdle.

I dont like women that much, but I cant stand men. That's where I'm at.

[misterbitches]

(SNOB vOICE excuse me for talking abt myself on my own blog 2 no one...im always sf paranoid ppl think i'm being more pretentious than i actually am if they stumble upon my untagged posts)

i'm not a creative writer which is why i went to film school and not real school and write scripts. but i'll watch something dumb and post fics every now and then. so during lockdown i got this crazy idea in my head abt this very self-indulgent ridiculously boring but fun-for-me character study fic for winteam. i don't even know why i would have gotten the urge, i just liked them so much and bounprem's dynamic too.

around that time things everywhere were super fraught (still fucking is obviously) but it was when the pandemic was super bad and people were dropping like FLIES and there was constant state-sanctioned murder. in thailand there were a lot of protests because of a coup going on there and a protester in the VICE video i watched on it said music helped them deal with the poverty and drug use in the slum they lived in in thailand. the left and/or artistic, indie, DIY scenes in other countries always fascinate, inspire, and entice me. uniteasia is a great resource for alternative asian music. a large chunk is dedicated to metal, which i'm not into, but there's a decent amount of post-/punk, DIY/grunge, indie/alt, and post-hardcore. i've been seeing a lot of shoegaze lately too.

so all this brewing in me i started to really think about a (queer) anarcho-commieesque band au fic but team is a (gasp) [cis] girl and i know i know boo hoo but also fuck that! i got a comment about that which bugged me cause i had to justify my sexuality which was weird because why are we both not embarrassed to be on ao3? i get the impulse but no because it was specifically because of all the stuff above and me listening to a lot of my favorite bands like nirvana—in uwma win had posters of nirvana on his wall plus his hair (which could be poser-ish but now he has like 3 and a radiohead poster and an arctic monkeys and oasis poster so you know what werq plus i am actually a poser)—and hole, fiona apple (who had just come out with her new album), vince staples, a bunch of other good shit, and getting into sonic youth. it just got me thinking of like music and art and diy and gender and identity because that's something those bands/people talk(ed) about and struggled with, along with sexuality obviously, and i wrote a lot; still writing. so much was going on then but like life had to stop so so much wasn't? that intensity they bring...what it would be like when there's so much shit going on in the world, if team was different when shit is so different. in any other circumstance, i wouldn't have imagined this specific scenario (i published one? i think or maybe two fics i had for them b4 and wrote some on my own)

anyway i thought about just taking it down and completely reworking some of it into some script for some dumb romcom i'd attempt to write in a pipe dream for it to get made but these 2 are just too compelling for me and now that this show is here??!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?! they're the only ship that could make me give half of a shit enough to even think this hard or continue something for up to 2 fucking years or even think about it. and for what? cos the fic is bad cos again can't write like that but just what? they had FORTY MINUTES in uwma. that's actually bonkers insane. like i cannot believe this????? how can i clown on them too much when they got so many of us fuckin' whipped. it's fun writing them just being hot and cool and doing art tho lmao it's fun watching them jus tbeing hot and cool and freakishly in love anyway i'm editing the stuff i've written and posted and will just save it instead of reposting. so if anyone ever read it before they can be extremely surprised at how different it is ^___^

speaking of music prem's song is really fuckin' good it's just the right amount of good pop with an edge it's a greaaaaaat background song for their scenes. genuinely good and i am never a fan of tv OSTs they are usually generic to me

[edelegs]

black eagles relationships i like but don’t see talked about enough

Ferdinand and Petra - I adore their supports. You see a lot of Ferdinand’s dorky side with his reading about historic weapons, and you see that he is genuinely curious about Petra’s culture. He admits that he initially didn’t realize how sophisticated Brigidian techniques are and I just adore his vulnerability with her. And then there’s Petra in their A support, admitting she found a second home in Fòdlan, and the two discuss their loneliness? It’s such interesting insight into both characters (especially Ferdie; I’d say these are some of his most well-rounded supports)

Hubert and Dorothea - Dorothea sees right through Hubert’s edgy theatre kid persona. She approaches him like she would any friend right from the beginning and teases him about his love life. She also respects and believes him when he says that unrequited love isn’t his motivation. I would’ve liked a conclusion that wasn’t Dorothea suggesting they marry, but it is really funny that she did that. I love their paired ending too--completely platonic espionage opera! What could be better?

Hubert and Byleth - in my head they have a quirky sitcom where Byleth keeps trying to arrange Edeleth/Ferdibert double dates and Hubert has to attend them. (but seriously, the appeal of Hubert is looking at this man and saying “I’m gonna make you like me”, and then you do it). Outside of my shipping biases, his threats to you are funny as shit considering that he has no power over you and he’s always dying in battle, but once you win his trust he admits that despite looking Blatantly Evil, he truly abhors TWSTID and is already planning their follow-up war. I could easily see him and Byleth co-leading the war in the shadows (and that’s where the dialogue of the aforementioned platonic Huleth workplace comedy takes place). Also my friend who played as m!Byleth told me the “we could be a couplet of birds” line in the A-support still exists regardless of gender. Hubert is demiromantic bi and you CANNOT change my mind 

Edelgard and Petra - “Don’t settle for being the bird. Be the arrow instead” Both have a great deal of mutual respect for each other, even though Edelgard is heir to the nation that has kept Petra’s country down for years. You see the same beliefs Petra holds in her supports with Caspar here--that being, “we are not our parents, we can make different choices”. It’s a shame they only have 2 supports. I think it would’ve been cool to see Petra asking Edelgard for Brigidian independence or otherwise talking about how she can achieve her goal. 

Edelgard and Linhardt - I actually think people talk about this a bit, but it’s one of my favourite Black Eagles support chains so I have to mention it. This one is the key to understanding that Edelgard’s better world is only possible in her route, when she has the support and opportunity to trust others enough to learn how to listen to them and consider their perspectives. I advise anyone who thinks Edelgard would be a brutal dictator to watch these supports, because they so blatantly contradict that idea? Linhardt initially frustrates her because she knows he’s talented and smart but he doesn’t want to do anything to help the world with that. Characters like Linhardt are usually given an arc in which they overcome an initial selfishness to help others. This is not that. These supports are about Edelgard learning to understand Linhardt and accommodate him. Edelgard agonizes over finding the perfect way to allow him to do his research in a way that suits him--and when she senses his hesitation at her initial plan, she presses him for the problem and reconfigures the idea because she won’t put him in a situation he’s not fully content in. This is astounding character growth (from both of them, but mostly Edelgard). Also the struggle depicted in this chain is just something that spoke to me when I first saw it--”be useful” versus “learn for knowledge’s sake” is pretty much my exact struggle in life 😂 Seeing two of my favourite characters reach a resolution that satisfied both of them was hopeful, to say the least. 

Caspar and Ferdinand - What strikes me about their supports is that it compares and contrasts these characters’ ideas of justice against each other. Honestly, the Black Eagles as a whole have takes on morality that are just slightly skewed, and these characters’ arguments about it exemplify it. Caspar just thinks that people who hurt others should be hit right away, head empty no thoughts but j u s t i c e. Ferdinand initially believes that all sense of justice comes from being nobility, and with that comes an obligation to be morally superior. Having Caspar just go “uh yeah, what does nobility have to do with it? I just had to hit that guy” is one way in which Ferdinand’s ideals are challenged. It’s a cool contrast that I think highlights an interesting aspect of the Black Eagles and what they were taught. 

Dorothea and Bernie - I love everything about their interaction. If Dorothea were a lesser character, she’d be the mean popular girl who shames Bernie for her messy hair and her anxiety. Instead, Dorothea is patient and Bernie is like “oh no she’s Too Cool for me”. Dorothea also makes note of what Bernie says as she gets too anxious to continue the interaction and aims to comfort her in their next support. We get a good Bernie character moment in their B-support, where she mentions her father ruining her friendship with a commoner boy--and a cathartic moment where Dorothea tells her that her father’s an asshole and that they’re going to be friends anyway. Bernie cries in Dorothea’s arms and AHHHH why didn’t we get MORE of this???

Bernie and Petra - If I could add any support and ending to the game, it would be Bernie/Petra. They have such a good starting point--because of Bernie’s anxiety and Petra being a second language speaker of Fòdlandish, they are prone to miscommunications (which is the general theme of early Bleagles supports). They had a nice 2-support arc where they understand each other a little better--but then there’s the paralogue, where Petra encourages Bernie to come to her homeland with her and Bernie realizes she wants to travel and see amazing things like carnivorous plants. This is fantastic character development for her and is a satisfying conclusion to her arc. I feel like most of Bernie’s endings involve her just reverting back to her hermit self instead of developing a balance between who she was at the beginning and who she’s grown into. I think Petra would offer to let her come to Brigid again, where she helps her navigate a new language and culture. Bernie’s anxiety is still bad but Petra has been in her position and can offer advise and reassurance. Petra is also patient and would give Bernie a safe little house near the carnivorous plants for her to retreat to when overwhelmed. It becomes both of their refuge, with Petra taking time away from her regal duties to spend time with Bernie and her art and her stories. Whether it’s romantic or platonic is up to preference but I low-key ship them 😏

[infitsovermisfits]

What's Shakin' Baby? (2) - Eddie Munson x GN! Reader

AN: i wanted to finish this before my birthday (4 days ago now) and instead i broke my glasses ;-; happy birthday to me ig. ANYWAYS it's finished now- it took me so long and i really apologise for that ;-; I'm a perfectionist and it takes me a while to write these... I mean, look at the size. It's also difficult for me to work when I'm burnt out and tired all the time, and considering i stayed up till 7am to write this (dw I'm sleeping as soon as i post this) then yeah. That starts to take its toll eventually. I'll say that I had a lot of fun writing this- i understand not everyone likes fluff but to those i say ok? go read something else there's a multitude of fics I'm sure you'll find what u like :) PERSONALLY i liked Dustin and Eddie's friendship in s4 and it's clear Gaten and Joe have great chemistry... But hear me out: Eddie and Max. Do u really think Eddie saw Max moping around, all sad around the trailer park and just didn't do anything about it? Nah. Sarcastic little sister and Goofy older Brother? Ya. We were truly robbed of Max finding someone like Eddie to confide him and realise could be a good sibling to her that doesn't yell at her and make her afraid.  (arcade idea stolen (with permission) from @intergalacticaquarium if you, like me, think Eddie and Max should have had a friend/siblings dynamic in s4, I encourage u to read their fics about them. They are v wholesome.)

WARNINGS: gender neutral reader, reader is 20, L O N G and slow burn forgive me i got v carried away, reader smokes, fluff, tooth-rotting fluff at the end, i promice, mentions of billy being a bad older brother to Max, Max opening up a bit about Billy trauma, Eddie being an amazing older brother to Max (along w yn ofc), eating food, negative self-talk, slight angst at the end, brain empty, no more thoughts, lmk if i missed something 

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | MASTERLIST

15,915 words (holy shit i know)

The following day, you found you were driving back home from your trip into town with Eddie, blasting one of his mixtapes and singing along happily. As suspected, there wasn't anything interesting in the various stores and boutiques that had opened up since Starcourt shut down, but you still had a delightful day. You almost forgot how fun Eddie was to just... Be around. Even if he hated following you through the stores, his comments on the people in the store or the mannequins or the stupid slogans on the shirts made it difficult to not burst out laughing in the middle of the otherwise silent store. You did eventually have to drag him out so you wouldn't get kicked out when you flicked your gaze over and he was shifting the mannequin's hand around to be a middle finger. He finally pulled you into a Goodwill- the best decision you had made that day because apparently, you hit a jackpot- someone retired a bunch of Metal merchandise and it's probably the most quiet Eddie has been while sober and conscious in years. You both meticulously searched through the numerous Metal band t-shirts (some of which neither you, or Eddie had heard of, surprisingly), unsown patches he could add to his battle vest and various band pins. Eddie kept mumbling to himself about 'how lucky he got' as well as 'how someone could ever give this up'?

Collectively, you spent almost two hours sifting through all the clothes there and eventually buying close to ten things each. You stopped by a McDonald's to eat something, sitting in his car and talking about some bizarre thing that had crossed Eddie's mind at that moment, and as you drove home, you excitedly pointed at the Palace Arcade,

"Holy shit! That place is still open!?" You grinned eagerly, trying to turn your head to look over your shoulder at the passing building,

"Uhuh. If you came here a couple of weeks earlier, I would have taken you," he said playfully,

"What? Why not now?" You frowned, looking back at him,

"Cause school's out for summer. It's gonna be crowded as fuck with stupid kids stealing all the good prizes," He pouted, and you lit up at his comment,

"Aww," You grinned, "I'm sure we can just find your disappearing ink somewhere else out of town-"

"No, no, no," He grinned, "Buying something is not the same as winning it in an arcade after busting your ass on Tetris for an hour," You laughed softly at his comment,

"You played Tetris for an hour and all you could get was disappearing ink?" You grinned. At first you thought it was a joke- you remembered Eddie's whole phase with with the ink, realising he could draw whatever he wanted, wherever and no one would see it. He grafitied a lot of rooms in Hawkins with stupid messages and crude drawings, not to mention his room was full of glowing drawings under the black light he brought... You quickly realised he wasn't joking about spending an hour on one game and your eyes widened, "No-"

"Babe-" He said quickly,

"Eddie-" You said in a warning tone,

"Babe-" He repeated, his eyes widening and a grin spreading across his lips,

"Are you telling me you played Tetris for an hour... And all you could afford was disappearing ink?" You asked, mouth opening in shock,

"I'm not answering that," He huffed, "I don't like your tone,"

"How bad are you at Tetris?" You laughed, "It's a simple game, how-" 

"Okay, well," He smiled, "Now you're just being mean-" He commented on your laughter,

"Eddie-" You managed breathlessly,

"It's a hard game!" He protested,

"This is like the rubik's cube all over again," You teased once you calmed down a little,

"It is not! Do not disrespect the cube like that"" He whined,

"The cube!!" You said amused, laughing,

"Can you stop making fun of me, babe?" He cast you a glance with a bright grin on his face,

"I'm not making fun of you; you're just funny, Eds," You grinned, shaking your head, "I'm simply reminiscing on that week that you locked yourself away in your room, almost losing your mind over that thing," You said,

"Yeah. And then a possum tried to kill me and cursed it," He said playfully,

The possum incident occurred in early autumn a few years ago. Before he disappeared for the week, Eddie picked up a new strain of weed from Rick. He talked your ear off about how it was real, authentic shit, grown in pristine conditions, and supposed to be better than anything he had ever sold or tried before. He'd been so excited to 'test' the product that he left his bedroom window open while he was greened out and a possum snuck in during the night. He didn't realise at first, but when he discovered it... It was safe to say that nothing could beat that phone call- hearing Eddie screaming about the 'demonic' marsupial hiding away in his closet and crudely describing it as a 'screaming rat that wants to eat him' was confusing at first. When you pulled the receiver from your ear, you almost collapsed laughing as you could hear him yelling from his trailer. It took you a while to collect yourself before you arrived in his home- Wayne was already there, attempting to usher the terrified creature into an empty laundry basket with a broom, while Eddie stood on his bed and rambled about 'demons' and 'cursed cubes'. Seeing you made him yell at you for laughing at the scene, and once you calmed, you moved your focus to help Wayne. You felt bad for the older man, considering he usually slept during the day for his shifts at the Plant, and who reprimanded Eddie about closing his windows at night so creatures don't find their way inside,

"It didn't try to kill you, Eddie," You told him as he parked his van outside his trailer, "It was more scared of you than you were of it," You pat his shoulder as you unbuckled the seatbelt and got out, heading for the back of the van to collect your bags,

"Why'd it have its mouth open then?" He grinned, opening the back for you,

"Because that's what they do," You reminded him, "They don't have thumbs, or spikes or knives, so they open their mouthes to be all scary," You explained, smiling as he rolled his eyes. You cast a glance at the bags, "Damn... We gotta wash all of these," You mumbled as you grabbed yours, which had been set on the right,

"Possums are terrifying," He muttered under his breath as he walked back to his trailer,

"Yeah, yeah," You rolled your eyes, "Hey, meet me at mine in like, ten minutes," You said, "I got watermelon in my fridge," You smiled,

"Yeah, I know. I was there when you bought it," He said with a grin, "Save me a beer," He said, before disappearing into his trailer.

A while later, you'd set the clothes you bought in the washer, opened the beer for him and got busy cutting up the watermelon. Eddie quickly entered announcing himself with a cheerful 'Hey baby!'  the thick smell of cigarettes fluttering through the air behind him. Glancing up to give him a small smile, you noted he was shirtless, yet still wearing the same pair of dark jeans he had on before. He hated shorts, so he opted to find the jeans with the largest rips and holes in them instead. It surprised you when he walked up behind you, wrapping an arm around your waist and pressing a kiss to the back of your head. As you tried to feed him a chunk of the fruit, he playfully moved out of the way, grabbing the beer and mentioning that he was smoking, so he couldn't eat. You rolled your eyes, before telling him you should go sit outside, considering your AC was busted and it was cooler there than inside. There was a thin layer of sweat on your forehead, and you didn't want to stay inside longer than you had to. You eyed the spider etched into his right shoulder- how dare he not mention he got a new tattoo?

"You're staring," He said in a sing-songy tone, distracted by fishing out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from his pockets, causing you to blush and glance away from him,

"Shut up, Eds," You said with a small smile, following him outside and sitting in one of the seats you had on the porch, before grabbing a watermelon slice to eat. You gladly accepted the cigarette he offered, leaning over so he could light it for you and inhaling deeply,

"You dig the new ink?" He asked playfully, sliding a notebook you hadn't noticed he brought along off the table into his lap and flicking through the pages. You eyed him; the cigarette tucked between his teeth and plump lips, his brows drawn together slightly as he focused on the contents of the pages; big brown eyes darting over the words scribbled inside, "Drew it myself," He said, lifting the book up to show you the spider,

"Holy shit, Eds, it looks so cool!" You grinned, taking a bite of the melon,

"Thanks!" He said proudly, picking up the pencil that had fallen from between the pages and flicking to a half-empty page, "Took me forever deciding where I wanted it," He mumbled,

"It looks good where it is, babe," You told him, giving him a small smile and eating some more of your watermelon slice, "Oh- Hey Max!" You called, seeing her approach from the entrance to the trailer park on her skateboard. Considering she didn't look up at your loud yell, you guessed she must have her headphones on, "You think she's still super into Kate Bush?" You glanced over at Eddie,

"Probably," He murmured, the word muffled by the cigarette between his lips. His gaze flicked up to you, then Max in the distance, and then settled back to the notebook he was busy scribbling away in,

"Mh," You hummed. You took another drag before straightening and raising a free hand to wave at her as she approached. Seeing you, she effortlessly stepped off the board, walking a few steps and picking it up, before pulling the headphones off of her head and letting them sit around her neck. She came to a stop before the steps up to your trailer, glancing between you and Eddie,

"What?" She asked sharply,

"You having a good day, Red?" You heard Eddie ask,

"It... Was fine," She said, a little confused by his question,

"Anything fun happen?" You asked, leaning your elbows on your knees and letting your head rest in your hands, smiling at her, "Oh- you want some watermelon? I just cut it up- it's from the fridge so it's nice and cold," You offered, glancing behind you and picking the bowl up from the table, extending it out to her

"No," She shuffled in place a little,

"Damn... That's a shame," You said, setting the bowl back in its place, "Well, if you want any, you know who to ask," You told her, "Are you more into smoothies, by any chance?" You asked, "I have a blender and crazy experience making thick juice," You offered, smiling at the sight of the corners of her lips involuntarily lifting. She turned on her heel to walk to her neighbouring trailer,

"C'mon, Red," Eddie chimed in, "Their smoothies are a work of art- and that's coming from me," He called after her,

"Whatever," You heard her mutter before she quickly climbed the steps and entered the trailer,

"Damn," You sighed, leaning back in your chair and finishing the cigarette, stumping it out in the recently emptied ashtray,

"I could hear it from here," You heard Eddie chuckle to himself. You turned your body to look at him, leaning an arm on the table,

"Kate Bush?" You asked,

"Good, old Katie," He grinned. You gave him a playful glare,

"If you dare disrespect her, Eddie, I swear-"

"Wh- Disrespect?" He set the pencil between the pages of his book and closed it, setting it on the table, "When did I ever say anything disrespectful about Kate Bush, babe?" He said defensively, though there was an amused look on his face,

"You didn't, but I know how riled up you can get," You grinned, finishing your clice and setting the rind back into the bowl, "About what constitutes as 'real' music," You mimed air quotes before grabbing another slice,

"I would never say a bad thing about Kate Bush though, babe," He said, "Promice. Hand on heart; cross it and everything," He said, drawing a finger in two lines over the ink on his chest,

"Good," You raised your brows, "Cause she's like... Crazy amazing,"

"I know," He grinned, "I was the one who introduced you to her," He smiled, 

"Cause the song came on the radio," You teased, 

"In my car," He said with a smirk, 

"Whatever," You rolled your eyes, sitting back in your chair and biting into the watermelon, quickly licking the juice that spilled onto your fingers. It was delightfully cold, thanks to you putting it in the fridge as soon as you got home from the grocery store earlier today. You only wished you could buy some stronger alcohol, or make a cocktail...

"Hey... Come here," Eddie mumbled, catching your attention. Once your eyes were on him, he removed the cigarette from of his mouth and tapped his leg with his free hand, shifting his legs so they were spread slightly wider apart,

"Why?" You asked, though you set your slice into the bowl and stood up without much hesitation. His smile simply widened as you approached him, carefully sitting in his lap and wrapping your arms around his neck. He hummed pleasantly, wrapping an arm around your middle to pull you closer,

"Missed you," He said simply, before tucking the cigarette back between his lips to take a drag,

"We spent the entire day together, babe," You reminded him, pulling the cigarette out of his lips and placing it between your own as he tilted his head back to exhale the smoke up into the air,

"Mhhm, and you dragged me around all these stupid stores and didn't let me have fun," He grinned, leaning forward to press a kiss to your cheek and taking his cigarette back,

"You almost got us kicked out, again," You grinned,

"I was just helping the mannequins express their feelings," He said with a nonchalant shrug. Your eyes flicked down to his neck, smiling and allowing your hand to gently caress the soft skin, "They've probably been stuck there for years in those awful shirts. I could sense a lot of anger coming from those plastic things," He said,

"You're a true hero, Eds," You smiled, "For mannequins all across America," You grinned,

"I work one store at a time," He said with a small smile. You laughed as he took another drag, "Can't believe we scored gold in that Goodwill," He said proudly,

"I know, right?" You grinned, "I finally got my own Pantera shirt," You said excitedly,

"I wonder who gave all of those shirts away," He muttered curiously,

"Someone cool?" You said, shifting a hand to play with strands of his hair, running your fingers through,

"Or someone lame," He suggested, glancing at the movements of your hands as your fingers began to carefully braid his hair, "In any case, we lucked out. You're like a good luck charm," He said with a proud smile,

"Me?" You asked amused, grinning as he moved his hand to touch yours, pulling your fingers away from his hair and pressing a kiss to the back of them,

"You," He murmured, brown, doe eyes meeting yours. He set the cigarette in the ashtray, letting both his hands wrap around you,

"Bet if you went to the store earlier without me you would have found those shirts anyways," You mumbled, rolling your eyes,

"Nah," He said, "But they'll make good replacements for all the shirts you stole from me," He said playfully, causing you to laugh,

"Maybe this is my way of giving them back to you," You joked,

"That's a really stupid way of giving me back my stuff, babe," He said, "Making me pay for my own stuff?"

"Eddie I'm j-"

"I know," He laughed, "I just like to tease you," He smirked, leaning back in his chair with a small sigh, "So! We have the rest of this wonderful day together. What do you suggest we do?" He asked, watching you expectantly. It was only the beginning of summer- the days would grow longer and hotter, and you'd be forced to get the AC fixed so you could seek comfort in the coolness of your home. That meant you couldn't really hang out in there. Eddie's trailer was always an option but it felt a little strange just inviting yourself there- besides, Wayne worked nights at the Plant, which meant he had to sleep all day. You couldn't play the TV too loud or yell or listen to loud music... You let your mind run as you leaned over Eddie, pulling the fruit bowl closer so you could munch on a slice as you thought. You'd already been and raided the nearby stores, and Hawkins was a shithole with nothing interesting ever happening here. The only thing left was...

"What about the arcade?" You said, raising your brows, "You can win me a teddy bear," You smiled,

"How romantic," He grinned, "But be warned, it will take me like... Six hours on Tetris to get enough tickets to afford one of those," He said, causing you to laugh,

"Damn- does the arcade even let people stay that late? Especially if they're awful at the game they're playing," You teased,

"Fine- you're not getting anything from me," He huffed playfully,

"Eddie- no!! Play anything but Tetris," You plead, grinning,

"Fine, fine. I'm pretty good at Pinball," He said, arms leaving you momentarily so he could stretch them above his head,

"You can't win tickets with Pinball. Also- pinball is the lamest game you can play at an arcade," You said, holding the slice out for him to take a bite of,

"Hold on-" He said surprised, gently moving your hand out of the way, "What did you just say?"

"Pinball is the lamest?" He opened his mouth in shock, and you smirked, moving the slice against his lips so he was forced to take a bite of the pink fruit, "What are you? An old man?" You grinned, 

"Old men aren't the only ones who play pinball, babe!" He protested, yelping softly as some of the juice spilt out of his lips and down his chin. You laughed as he reached a hand to wipe his face and smirked, swallowing the food in his mouth and grabbing the slice from your hands,

"Yes, they are!" You laughed, shaking your head and getting off of his lap, "Oh my God- Eddie," You managed between laughter, having to lean your hand on the side of your trailer, "I have never met anyone who goes to an arcade thinking 'I'm going to play pinball', what the fuck?" You laughed,

"Listen- okay, okay. Since you think this is so fuckin' funny-" He said standing and following you as you stumbled inside your open front door, hardly breathing through your laughter, "-You haven't been here in a year, and, like, a bunch of the good machines broke down," He rambled,

"So it's the machine's fault you're horrible at the games," You grinned as you stepped into the warmer home, "Not your horrible game skills?" It was only a few degrees difference, though the change felt astronomical,

"Yeah- it is," He said, groaning as he followed you, feeling the warmth against his skin, "Shit- what's up with your AC?" He asked, watching as you removed the mass of black from the washer,

"Broken," You huffed, grabbing the basket and heading back outside,

"Why didn't you ask Wayne to fix it for you?" He frowned, walking to the broken machine and tapping it,

"He's asleep, right?" You said, glancing over at him, "I don't wanna wake him and waste his time," You sighed,

"Babe, your house is unliveable. I'll get him to fix it for you-"

"Don't we have plans to go to the arcade?" You asked, trying to quickly change the topic as you moved outside to the now empty line you shared with Max, beginning to hang up the wet shirts,

"Yeah, but-" He tried, following you quickly,

"Do you think Max'll wanna come with us?" You asked, glancing from her trailer, then back over your shoulder to see him standing on your porch and watching you. With a dejected sigh, he moved to sit down, his legs hanging over the edge of the porch, "Do kids nowadays even play arcade games anymore?" You asked more yourself as you got back to your task, running a hand over the wet, upside down 'Pantera' print,

"Of course they like arcade games," he said with a huff, "Everyone likes arcade games,"

"Good," You smiled, "I have faith in the new generation once again. And maybe she plays games that aren't Pinball or Tetris," You teased, "Maybe she's actually good," You added, "Maybe-"

"I swear to God if you make fun of me again..." You heard him say in a mock threatening tone,

"You'll what?" You grinned, setting the empty basket down and looking at him. A large grin spread over his face and he quickly hopped off the porch, "Oh no- Eddie, no-" You yelped as he suddenly grabbed you, picking you up and spinning you around and cackling, "Put me down!" You laughed loudly,

"You take everything you said back or I throw you in the dirt!" He said playfully,

"How about I don't!" You grinned, grabbing at his hands. He laughed again, setting you down but still holding on to you tightly. He opened his mouth again to say something, although- 

"Gross," You heard from nearby, causing your head to look in the direction of the voice,

"Oh, hey Max!" You grinned at the red-headed girl now standing nearby in the shade between the two mobile homes. Eddie loosened his hold on you, letting you brush off your clothes and gather yourself, "We were just looking for you-"

"Why?" She asked,

"Well, uh... Eddie and I are planning on going to the arcade later and we wanted to know if you wanted to join us," You offered with a pleasant smile. She watched you with a frown, glancing between your faces, before narrowing her eyes,

"What's in it for you, huh?" She asked sceptically,

"Nothing...? We're just going to have fun and play games. Maybe get some milkshakes later or something?" You offered, glancing over at Eddie,

"C'mon, Red," Eddie piped up, moving to stand next to you, "It'll be fun; we used to go to the Palace all the time-" He gestured between you,

"Didn't we call it 'Our Palace' at some point?" You grinned, glancing back at him,

"Hell yeah," He grinned, "God, I used to kill on those pinball machines," He gave you a look, while you laughed at his statement, "Christ," He mumbled, rolling his eyes at your reaction, though smiled fondly at your laughter,

"Don't mind him- we played games other than Pinball," You assured her, "Have you ever been there, Max?" You asked the girl, and watched her cast her gaze downwards momentarily,

"Yeah... I used to go a lot, actually. It was the first place I'd go to when I first came here from California," She said, "I stopped going a few years ago... Cause of school? Haven't really been there since," She admitted,

"All the more reason for you to come with us!" You said eagerly, "Please? We promise we'll never bother you again," You plead, putting your hands together to emphasise your point. She glanced back at you and sighed,

"Fine," You both grinned happily, "I'll have to ask my mom,"

"That's fine- you be ready by 6," You told her eagerly, before grabbing Eddie's hand and dragging him back to your trailer,

"See you later, Red!" He called after her, laughing slightly as you dragged him inside your trailer.

It took a while for you to get ready. You had brought in the rest of your watermelon inside so the flies and wasps wouldn't gather around the fruit, eating the slices and trying to get Eddie to eat them with you, before cleaning your hands and changing into your outfit for the evening. Eddie left at your request to get ready himself, allowing you to freshen up and get ready in peace. Once you were finished, you walked out to meet up with Eddie and Max. Coincidentally, you walked out of your trailer at the same time as her, giving her a small nod and mentioning that Eddie was going to be your ride to the arcade. Once you locked your trailer, you joined her in the short walk over to his, lighting up a cigarette on your way there. Max had also changed and was holding a blue zip-up jacket for later in the evening, when the temperature would inevitably drop. Her hair, which had previously been braided, was out in loose waves and framing her pale face. She glanced at Eddie's trailer as you stopped, leaning against his van. You could faintly hear Black Sabbath playing from his open bedroom window,

"He's late," Max pointed out,

"He is... As usual," You let her know, "But he's our ride, so we gotta wait," You said with a sigh, "He's probably fixing up his hair- it usually takes a while, he's got a lot of it," You joked, smiling softly as she let out a quiet, breathy laugh,

"Yeah. Right," She nodded, eyeing the cigarette in your hand,

"Speaking of hair," You gestured to her, "Where's your Anne of Green Gable's schtick?" You asked,

"Didn't seem fitting for an arcade," She mumbled,

"Course," You smiled, "You excited to try any of the games there?" You asked, 

"Excited?" She smiled slightly, "Do I look like a kid to you?" 

"Well, you seemed eager to go," You shrugged, "I'm excited. I'm sure Eddie is too- oh! And if you're any good, you could teach him how to play Tetris!" You grinned, 

"He doesn't know how to play Tetris?" She asked, blinking her wide eyes in surprise, "But it's so easy...!" She said, and you laughed softly, nodding, 

"I know, right?" You smiled, glancing over her "He excels at DnD though... That might be the only game he's good at. As annoying it is watching him play the games and loose them, it's pretty funny," You grinned, 

"Sure," She smiled slightly, glancing around in silence, 

"I think your hair's cool, Max," You told her, "Pretty colour and all that," You said with a nod,

"What about my hair?" Eddie asked, walking out of the trailer and meeting you at the foot of the stairs,

"Not yours," You said, rolling your eyes, "Max's," You gestured to the girl. Eddie glanced over at her and nodded his head in a silent hello, before plucking the cigarette from your lips and taking a drag as he twirled his car keys in his hand. He was wearing a Metalica shirt under his leather jacket,

"Nice hair, Red," He complimented, "Now are you two ready for the greatest night of your lives?" He asked, glancing between you with a grin,

"In Hawkins?" You smirked, grabbing your cigarette back from his hands, "Never," You winked. Your grin widened at the way he looked at you after your wink,

"Right- not grand enough for you, Your Majesty?" He waved his hand in a mock bow, grabbing the door handle to the passenger side and pulling it open for you. With a grin, you stood a little taller,

"No. It never is," You said in a fancy tone, "Now take me to my Palace, your highness," You said playfully,

"Jesus fucking Christ you are both awful," Max muttered, shaking her head,

"You wanna be called your highness too, Red?" Eddie asked with a smirk,

"I was promised a ride to the arcade," She said, "My mom gave me a 9 pm curfew, so..."

"Right- and we're losing daylight," Eddie clicked his fingers in understanding. He walked over to the back door, opening it and gesturing for her, "M'lady, your chariot awaits," He said dramatically, smiling at her. With another eye roll and a 'whatever' muttered under her breath, Max climbed into the back. You shut the door after her and climbed into the passenger seat, while Eddie moved around to the drivers side, and you drove off into town,

"Did you eat dinner yet, Red?" You asked, busy shuffling through the tapes you found in the car,

"Huh?" She asked, "Oh uh... Yeah," She said quietly,

"Is that a lie?" Eddie asked, glancing in the rearview mirror to see her face. You did the same, watching her blink, before quickly glancing out of the window,

"...No," She said in an unconvincingly way,

"Well I haven't," You chimed in, "But I'm not hungry right now," You said quickly, seeing Max glare at you through the mirror, "We should go buy pizza after we finish up at the arcade," You glanced over at Eddie,

"Hell yeah, we can stop by a Pizza hut and get those breadsticks you like," He grinned, giving you a knowing look,

"Nice- sound good to you Max?" You turned your head to look over your shoulder at her. A small, involuntary smile spread on her thin lips, though she quickly turned her head to try to hide it from you,

"Sure... Sounds good," She confirmed, glancing down at her feet and shuffling them slightly. With a satisfied smile, you looked back to the tapes you had left discarded in your lap, continuing to flip through and listening to the gentle clatter of plastic against plastic,

"Here," Eddie mumbled beside you, reaching over and opening the glove compartment. Thankfully, you were at a red stop light. Curiously, you watched his hand as he shuffled through the stuff thrown there carelessly. Your eyes focused on his rings, faintly glittering in the light from outside. You always had a fondness for them, loving the way they looked against his rough hands, and how cold they felt compared to the warmth of his skin. He finally pulled a tape out, and you glanced over the cover, "Put this one in," He said softly,

"'Kill 'Em All'," You read, sliding the tape out of the cover and  looking it over, "Is this new?"

"Nope. I just lost it," He said, smiling once you set the tape in and placed the others back, "And then found it again when I was cleaning my van a few days ago. Hey, Max, you good with loud music?" He asked as 'Hit The Lights' started blaring loudly from the speakers,

"Yeah," She said softly. You expected another annoyed 'whatever' but the girl just kept silent, looking out of the window,

"Good- loud is good," Eddie smirked, giving you a glance and winking back teasingly,

"Hah- yeah," You grinned as the heavy guitar riffs came in and you turned the music back up. The ride into town wasn't too long, though by the time you arrived at the arcade, your hair was all messed up, considering you had rolled the windows down and spent the majority of the ride nodding your head to the music and laughing along with Eddie. Max was silent the whole time, only staring out of the window at the houses zooming past the van. Her hair covered her face so you couldn't see her expression, though it didn't appear she minded the loud music, or the way the car shook at your limited dancing, or your screaming along to the lyrics. You hopped out of the parked vehicle, glancing at the spinning 'Palace Arcade' sign, then flicking your gaze to the building. The lights were already lit, though the sun's light drowned them out so you couldn't appreciate the bright colours they'd usually cast across the parking lot. Outwardly, it was still the same as you remembered when you were there last year, and since you drove by it earlier today,

"Ready?" Eddie asked, coming to stand beside you, hands tucked into the pockets of his leather jacket and a small smile set on his lips as he watched you, "Also, is this our..." he trailed off, shuffling his boots against the gravel bellow, "Uh... How do..."

"Our...?" You looked at him expectantly. He opened his mouth, but the words fell short and he found himself unable to look at you. You narrowed your eyes, before realising, "Like our first date?" You asked, "As a couple?" He smiled at your words,

"Uh... Yeah," He nodded, "My first date with you," He said fondly, "I should have taken a camera," He huffed,

"We can always take a picture after," You nodded to the building, before walking forward so you could stand in front of him, "I'm looking forward to this date with you, Munson," You said, watching the grin forming on his face,

"I'll make it worth your while, babe," He said, walking forward to press a kiss to your forehead. You hummed pleasantly, before glancing back to his van,

"I love going out on dates and babysitting," You said playfully, "Speaking of-" You knocked on the back window, causing Max to jump, startled. She hadn't moved since you parked, appearing distracted. She gave you a confused look, before you pointed to the arcade behind you, "We're here!" You said, opening the door for her. She slid over, considering she was on the other side, and hopped out, looking at the building before her, "Hey, are you okay-"

"I'm fine," She said quickly, giving you a stern look. You held your hands up in surrender,

"Just making sure. We can always uh... Do something else," You offered,

"No, I just..." She sighed, glancing in the car as Eddie locked it, "I left my jacket in there," She told him,

"Oh, that's fine. It's warm now anyways and we'll come back," He gave her a reassuring smile, "You'll get your precious jacket back soon. Now come on! Let's play games," He said excitedly, eagerly walking over to you and grabbing your hand, pulling you towards the arcade.

Inside, it still looked the same, aside from a few new machines you were excited to try. You glanced over your shoulder to make sure Max was still following along, motioning for her to join you at an ATM to exchange the ten dollars you had brought along for quarters, one by one. Once you all had your money, you followed Eddie as he made a beeline to a machine,

"Pong?" Max asked as he slipped the change into the machine,

"Yeah! We used to play this all the time," Eddie said, glancing over at you with a wide grin, "You ever play?" He asked Max,

"Have I ever played Pong?" She asked with a slight smile, moving to stand next to him, "I heard you can't even play Tetris," You laughed as Eddie cast you a glare,

"Oh yeah? Well, I'm not losing to a child," He said, determination clear in his tone,

Eddie did, in fact, lose to Max. Badly. And when he started getting low on quarters and playfully frustrated, he insisted you tag in. She was good- really good. Normally, losing a few rounds would hurt your ego, but considering how much she was smiling and laughing now was worth the shame of losing to a freshman. She eventually pulled you away, bored of her near-constant victories to play air hockey,

"I'm with Max!" You said quickly, moving to stand next to her,

"Two against one? That's not fair!" Eddie whined,

"Fine- you play against her and I'll be the ref," You said, searching through your pockets for a dollar,

"And let her beat me again?" Eddie protested, "Hell no," 

"What is it, Munson? Are you afraid to lose to a child again?" You teased, leaning your hands on the side of the table,

"Yeah, Munson," You heard Max say besides you, handing you a dollar that you could put into the machine, "Looser buys us all candy?" She offered. He smirked, moving his hand out for her to shake,

"You're dead, Red," He grinned playfully, taking his spot at the end of the table and watching the rather intense game.

Eddie graciously bought you all a bunch of Nerds, Pop Rocks, Pixie Stix and Fun Dip. Max mentioned something about wanting to play Dig Dug and disappeared off down the aisles to find it, sneakily stealing the full bag of candy with her while Eddie distracted you with his annoyed mumblings of losing two games to a freshman,

"Aw man, my candy necklaces," You pouted when you noticed she was gone,

"C'mon- I wanna show you something," Eddie grinned, grabbing your hand and pulling you to another game,

"But what if she eats all of our candy?" You asked with a soft smile, 

"First of all, I don't think it's humanly possible to eat that much candy at once without your teeth falling out," He said, casting you a glance, 

"This is coming from the same Eddie Munson who won't eat his fruits and veggies?" You teased, 

"Shut up," He rolled his eyes with a smirk, "Anyways," He glanced up at the name of one of the machines, before gesturing to it,

"Centipede?" You read the writing at the top, "This one's new, right?" You asked, not recognising it. Eddie nodded,

"Go ahead," He motioned for the machine,

"I don't know how to play it, Eds," You said, "Don't wanna waste my precious quarters on a game I'm not gonna be good at," 

"Then let me show you," He prompted, 

"You and your history of being awful at games?" You asked playfully, digging through your pockets for some change, 

"Babe," He whined, "Come on, please?" He smiled. With a sigh, you moved forward, placing your quarter in and straightening up. It surprised you a little as he moved up behind you, putting his hands over yours and resting his chin on your shoulder, "Here, like this," He said softly, considering he was so close to your ear,

"Okay," You started the game, eyes darting over the screen as he started it, "Woah- why does it split up like that? What?" You laughed softly as you shot at the bug. Eddie moved his hands over yours so his fingers pressed against yours on the buttons. You'd played games together multiple times- Eddie behind you with a gentle hold on to your hands, occasionally fighting for control over the buttons and laughing as you playfully yelled at him to get off because you were going to get a 'Game Over' and waste your money. All in good spirits of course. You revelled in the closeness of him in this sort-of hug. Now you were finally together as a couple, it felt different. The gentle kisses he'd press to your cheek and neck, or simply blowing cold air onto your skin, grinning as it caused you to shiver, were incredibly distracting, but you couldn't deny that it felt nice, and beautifully intimate,

"Damn, you've been making fun of how bad I am at Tetris when you can't even play Centipede," He smirked, pressing another kiss to your cheek before letting go of you, standing to the side, grinning proudly, 

"If you weren't distracting me, Eddie, I might have won," You huffed, "Or at least get a high score," You huffed, glancing at the flashing 'Game Over' screen. You glanced down at the names next to the high scores, noticing 'Mad Max' filling some of the bottom slots- could that potentially be your red-headed companion, blissfully distracted by you and Eddie and eagerly tapping away at the buttons on Dig Dug? Glancing up higher, through the less familiar names, your eyes widened at the top two, "No-"

"Yes," Eddie grinned beside you, 

"No," You repeated, jaw-dropping at the two names at the top, "You beat Henderson at this!?" Your eyes widened, glancing over at him smiling proudly, 

"Kid's got a vendetta against me because I kicked his ass on here," He said, "I wanted to see how you would do," He said, 

"You just distracted me the whole time, Eds! I had no chance!"

"Uh- I helped?" He said, "And now you can't make fun of me for being bad at games," He grinned, "Here, watch me, it's honestly really simple," He playfully pushed your arm so you'd step out the way, 

"And here I thought your gaming talents ended at DnD," You teased, folding your arms and watching him straighten up, hair bouncing once he placed his own quarter into the machine, 

"I'll let this one slide, but if you offend me one more time," He held up his finger in mock warning,

"You'll what?" You challenged, grinning, "Huh? Huh? What're you gonna do Munson?" You grinned, moving to stand very close to him. He only smiled down at you, soft eyes flicking over your face, and making you momentarily forget your playful conflict. He quickly broke the eye contact, glancing at the screen, then looking at you with a slight glare,

"I'll make you walk all the way home," He settled, smirking proudly and starting the game, quickly tapping the buttons,

"Oh, yeah?" You asked, looking over his shoulder at the screen. He clearly knew what he was doing, fully focused on the screen. Leaning closer to his ear, your grinned, "Make me," You hissed, quickly moving away and smirking at the way his eyes widened and he looked at you quickly. You were already walking away towards Max, though you glanced back and blew a playful kiss at him, "You better win that game now, babe!" You called back to him, watching him shake his head and grin, glancing back at the screen, "How's it going Max?" You asked, looking over her at the screen, "Holy shit- you're on round six!?" You said proudly, 

"Yeah," She murmured, concentrating hard,

"How are you so good at Dig Dug?" You marvelled, staring at the screen and then glancing down at Max's hands as she expertly played the level,

"Got a lot of practice back in California," She mumbled, blue eyes darting around the screen in full concentration, "They have the same machine up there. And I spent a lot of time here when I first came to Hawkins," She said, a small smile appearing on her lips as the screen flashed brightly, indicating she passed the level,

"Nice, Max!" You grinned, lifting a hand up for her to high-five, "Max... MADMAX? You've had the top high scores on this game for years now," You smiled as her hand slapped against your own, "That's real talent kid," You complimented,

"It's a simple game," She shrugged, though the smile didn't leave her lips. She ended up scoring sixty-eight thousand points and you grinned, feeling like a kid at the sight of all the tickets pouring out of the machine, "Damn," she hissed, standing back as the screen displayed 'Game Over',

"What?" You asked with a small smile,

"I got third place," She said with a small frown, "I used to be way better," She glanced at the high scores that both displayed MADMAX,

"Are you hearing yourself?" Eddie spoke up, grinning. He had quietly joined you a few moments ago, holding a bunch of tickets he won at Centipede, "You got third place-" He leaned over to tap the screen, "-And first, and second. You're the entire podium!"

"Still. I should have done better," She said, glancing around at the other machines, 

"Meh- I say you did great," Eddie grinned, reaching over and ruffling her hair, "C'mon!" He eagerly scooped up her tickets, swiftly moving to another machine, "Let me show you how it's done!" He said, stopping at the Pacman machine and shoving the tickets into your arms,

"Eddie's awful at Pacman," You whispered to Max, earning a small laugh from her that caused you both to lighten up as he started playing, "He always loses, but he likes the noises,"

"Babe, stop throwing me under the bus like this- Max, I'm great-" The telltale sound of Pacman dying came from the machine, "The fuck!?" He exclaimed, causing you to laugh as he smacked at the console,

"Eddie, don't break it!" You quickly grabbed at his arm, smirking, "My turn," You pushed him away with the tickets and focused on the game as the next round started, "See, what you're doing wrong is you're going after the power-ups first; you only go after 'em if the ghosts are chasing you," You muttered, "Max, get over here to watch the pro," You grinned, standing aside so she could watch you,

"Pro?" Eddie asked amused, "You got on the leaderboard once, babe. Humble yourself," You gasped at that,

"Excuse me, how many times have you been on the leaderboard, Munson?" You challenged,

"Well, on Centipede and Dragon's Lair-"

"I don't give a shit about those- I'm talking about Pacman," You smirked, "How many times have you beaten the first level of Pacman, Munson? Huh?" You teased, managing to kill one of the ghosts with the immunity buff,

"Damn- you can't even get over the first Pacman level, Eddie?" You heard Max ask from beside you,

"The game's hard!" He protested, though you could hear the smile in his voice. He stood behind you, an arm snaking around your waist and his head resting on your shoulder as he watched your movements,

"Get the cherries!!" Max chimed in, from the side. She sounded so happy- and when you completed the level, your small audience erupted into eager cheers, Eddie gripping your shoulders and shaking them slightly,

"Max- you do this level now. We'll take turns!" You said eagerly, ushering her to take your place and grinning as she started playing, "Eds, you can watch," You teased, turning to see him looking mock offended,

"Wh- Why!?" He whined,

"Uh- you cost us one of your lives," Max chimed in, "You're not touching this game again," She said playfully, 

"Hear that Munson?" You smirked, glancing back at the screen to watch Max play,

"Well, I'm the one holding all of your tickets," He said, indicating to the large mass of tickets he held, "I can easily go cash these in for a bunch of sticky hands and worms on strings," He teased, 

"You wouldn't have those if it wasn't for our skills!" Max grinned, 

"She has a point, Eds," You grinned, "That'd be stealing," You said, to which he huffed and rolled his eyes, 

"So no disappearing ink?" He pouted at you, 

"Why are you so hung up on the disappearing ink?" You asked with a wide smile, 

"Because it's cool!" He grinned, "And you can only see it with a black light!" He grinned. You made a face, sticking your tongue out, 

"Yuk- I don't want to go near you with a black light-" You muttered,

"Shit!!" Max cursed as Pacman's death sound effect played from the machine. She hit it with her hand, wincing at the impact. With a small frown, you walked over to her as 'Game Over' flashed across the screen,

"Hey," You said, "It's fine! I'm kinda tired from all these games. Why don't we cash in our tickets and go... Eat pizza?" You suggested, glancing from Eddie to Max, 

"Sure," She sighed, and you gently touched her shoulder walking to the prize counter and looking over all the things on display. From puzzles to gimmicky items stacking the shelves behind a clerk, and plushies hanging from the ceiling on strings, you let out a small sigh, eyes settling on a lava lamp momentarily, before rolling your eyes at the 'grand prize- 10,000 tickets!' scrawled underneath it,

"You ever get one of those?" You asked Max, pointing to the assortment of large teddy bears, dragons and various other stuffed toys, 

"No... I doubt we'll be able to afford any of them," She shrugged, "Usually I could only afford the candy," She sighed, 

"Me too. I did get a mug one time though. With Kermit the Frog on it," You smiled, "Spent a lot of time on solo pong though... Not too much fun playing it by yourself," You said, "I still have it. I drink hot cocoa out of it every winter," You smiled softly, 

"You?" Max asked amused, "You like the muppets?" She smiled softly, 

"What can I say? I have a soft spot for that funky little green guy," You grinned, clicking your fingers, "Too bad we can't afford any of the cool toys," You huffed, 

"Whoever told you that?" Eddie grinned, appearing out of nowhere, "Let's get these counted," He gestured to the large ball of tickets. It seemed to have doubled in the few moments he was away from you, and when he placed them on the counter for the employee to count, you noticed two sticks of unopened tickets in his back pockets. How he managed to get those was a mystery to you. Catching you staring, he gave you a wink, "I'm gonna head to the bathroom. You guys pick out a good prize," He said playfully, walking behind the machines, away from the employee's view and pulling the two wads of tickets out, unfurling them to try make it look like they came from the machines,

"Where the hell did he get those?" Max hissed to you, eyes widened mouth agape as she looked from him to you, 

"Eddie... Has his ways..." Was all you could say, stumped as to where he even found them, "I sort of figured it's best not to question things like this by now," You told her, glancing at the tickets. He promptly returned with another ball of unfurled tickets and a proud smirk on his face as the employee sent him a glare, considering they had to count more tickets. You heard him briefly mention he forgot them and attempted to distract the employee in hopes that'd get you more tickets. You moved to the side with Max, glancing at the prizes that were worth thousands, "Got your eye on anything, Red?" You asked, leaning your elbows on the glass counter, "Perhaps a Carebear?" You suggested,

"What about that?" She pointed, 

"You're talking about the Popples?" You smiled, "I always loved those- my family could never afford them but I always thought they were so cute," You said,

"What even are they?" She smiled, 

"Don't know, and I don't think I care. They just look cute for kids," You shrugged, "Which one d'you want?"

"What?" She asked, her smile faltering, 

"What?" You mimicked, moving one of your arms so it was leaning on the counter, "I asked you to pick one," You nodded to the toys, 

"Are... You sure?" She frowned, "They're your tickets..." She said, brows knitting together, 

"You won more games than me," You winked, "C'mon Red, just-"

"But what about you?" She asked quickly, 

"What about me?" You smiled, "C'mon, Red. This is for you- you deserve a reward for wrecking a super Senior and a college student at arcade games," You rolled your eyes. She was still looking at you with a confused look. You glanced back at the plushies, "Fine. Get a Care Bear instead," You prompted, 

"But do you-"

"C'mon Red!" You groaned, "Look how sad Funshine Bear looks!" You pointed to the smiling yellow bear, "It's begging for you to take them home!" You grinned. She looked at you with wide eyes, still searching your face, as if she was looking for any hint of a lie, or... Some other emotions. She quickly looked back at the high-end prizes, 

"We've got a good nine 'k' built up; that means thousand," Eddie grinned at you,

"Proud of you for learning that one, babe," You smirked, patting his chest gently, "You can get so much disappearing ink with that," You teased, 

"Well now I'm not gonna get any," He pouted playfully, 

"So what are you getting?" The tired employee said, glancing between the three of you. You looked at Max expectantly,

"Care bear; care bear," You quietly chanted at her confused face. She smiled slightly, rolling her eyes and looking back at the prizes, 

"Can I get the... One of the Popples?" She asked softly, moving to place her hands on the counter, pointing out the one she wanted to the employee, 

"You still have three thousand left," They said, placing the toy in front of Max and removing the price tag. It took you a while to choose through the various smaller prizes, trying to spend all your tickets so you had zero left. Your purchases included: three sticky hands for each of you; a few string worms for Eddie; matching space-themed keyrings for Eddie and you; disappearing ink; a bunch of temporary tattoos; and finally, more candy. You soon left, climbing into the van and speeding away. You grinned, throwing Pez pellets from a shitty dispenser at Eddie as he attempted to catch them in his mouth while he drove you to Pizza Hut. 

Eddie brought up that you should probably share the pizza and then asked about the toppings you would both like. Max was mostly quiet, and you were fine with most things... That was until he jokingly brought up getting pineapple or banana. Even Max joined your fierce protests against them. You ended up getting half just cheese and half with toppings you mutually agreed on with Max, considering how iffy Eddie could be with certain ingredients, 

"This'd be so good if it was Hawaiian," Eddie smirked at you over a mouthful of pizza, 

"Eddie, you're very close to losing your speaking privileges," You grinned as he threw his head back and laughed, "Why are you so insistent on getting pineapple and banana on our pizza? You want to watch the world burn that bad?" You asked,

"You are correct, my dear," He smirked, 

"That poor worker at the arcade wasn't enough for you?" You smiled at him, 

"They counted wrong. And if they didn't want me to find their extra tickets, they should have hidden them better," He shrugged, "Besides, you know I'm only kidding about the fruits, right?"

"I knew you were joking," you gave him a sceptical look, before glancing over at Max, "He hates fruits," you let her know, 

"Really?" You nodded with a small hum, 

"Yeah, he does," You smiled, "I work at Sam's Smoothie Shack and I basically have to force him to drink the smoothies I make," You said, before glancing over at him, "Speaking of you hating fruits," You glared at him, "If we did get pineapple or banana, you wouldn't even eat it," 

"Nope," He smirked, 

"So why would..." You trailed off, confused,

"Just to piss you off," He grinned,

"Eddie that'd be such a waste," You huffed, rolling your eyes as he laughed again, 

"But it would be funny!" He said,

"Whatever," You smiled, looking over at Max, "Hey why aren't you eating?" You asked, 

"Oh, I... I can have more?" She asked uncertainly. You looked at her, incredulously, 

"Of course you can!" You smiled, "You think we can eat this whole thing just by ourselves?" You said, gesturing to the partially eaten pizza,

"Well..." Eddie said, before wincing your name as you kicked him under the table, 

"Max, eat as much pizza as you want. We can even ask for a to-go box if you wanna take this home and reheat it later," You smiled at her, "It's no good cold, so get to eating," You reassured her, before your attention quickly snapped to Eddie, "You too- I don't want to hear any more about your weird pizza combos," You said, tapping Eddie's hand as he reached for another slice, 

"Speaking of-" He smirked, "What if we put the pizza in a blender?" He smirked as you groaned his name in protest, "What? You expect me to drink mushy, blendy raspberries but not blended pizza?" He grinned, starting up yet another playful, bickering session between the three of you. At least Max was having a good time.

When you left, the sun had almost set, only a sliver of orange left, sitting far on the horizon The sky was primarily filled with a wonderful dark blue and speckled with bright stars. You remembered learning that most of them were likely suns at the centre of other galaxies, likely filled with their own solar systems, full of their own people or aliens... But most of them were likely dead, the visuals of them exploding into novas or supernovas taking light years to reach the earth and your gaze. But who cared if they were all dead? As long as you could see them, they were real, right?

You hummed along to the quiet music, the same Metallica tape playing quietly now as you stared out at the darkened houses and streets of Hawkins. The city was so much more peaceful at night, when the inhabitants were sleeping and the streets were relatively empty, safe for the occasional fox or cat that darted across the street. When you were younger, you thought the darkness was scary; some unseen monster hiding away in the shadows. Now, it just felt serene and calm- a small, anxious, part of you maybe still believed there were monsters lurking away somewhere, but with Eddie at your side... Actually, he probably wouldn't do a lot to scare them away. He'd likely run away. But he'd run away with you so... Technically, you were in safe hands?

"What's on your mind?" He asked softly, his hand coming to rest on your leg, gently moving over your knee. You sighed, shifting to lean back in your seat and stretching your arms above your head, 

"Hawkins... How quiet it is," You said softly, glancing over at him to see him smile, "You,"

"Me?" He asked surprised

"You," You grinned softly at the feigned disbelief on his face, "I had fun on our first official date, Eds,"

"I'm glad," He smiled, gently squeezing your leg, patting it, then putting his hand back on the gear shift, "Mine or yours?" He asked, 

"Mine- I gotta collect my laundry before someone steals my Pantera shirt," You sighed, 

"Already so attached?" He asked, smiling softly as he put his leg back on your knee. You placed your hand over his, skimming your fingers over his rings, 

"Mhm," You smiled,

"Aw," He cooed, smiling softly, "By the way, I asked Wayne if he could fix up your AC," He said, 

"Wh- Eddie," You said with a small frown, "You... Didn't need to," You said, 

"Mmmh, I kinda did," He said, giving you a look. As you looked away, getting ready to protest again, he said your name to try and get your attention back on him, "I've known you the better part of my life, and I know that you're just gonna leave it broken and complain about it never being fixed," He said softly, "I wanted to do something nice for you," He glanced over at you. You couldn't stop the small smile that found its way onto your lips, 

"Remind me to pay Wayne back for his kindness," You sighed, leaning back in your seat, 

"I won't," He said with a small smile, "Besides, if you want me hanging around you all summer, you better have that thing fixed because earlier today?" He huffed, "I thought I was gonna die!" He said dramatically, 

"Uhuh. Yeah," You smiled at him. With a sigh, you cast a glance in the rearview mirror, catching sight of Max in the reflection, "You good, Red?" You asked softly, turning your head to look at the girl in the back. She was staring out of the window blankly, eyes shutting slowly with the gentle lulling of the van. You smiled to yourself, "Max," You prompted, making her sit up and look at you,

"Yeah?" She hummed tiredly,

"Are you alright?" You asked again,

"Uhuh... Yeah," She nodded, fiddling with a hairband around her wrist. Her jacket was draped over her legs, as if it was a blanket,

"Beating us at arcade games tired you out this much, huh?" She smiled at your words,

"Maybe," She mumbled, leaning her head back against the seat and turning her head back to the window. You shifted back so you were sitting straight in your seat with a small smile, glancing at Eddie. He was already looking at you with an affectionate smile, but averted his gaze back to the road when you caught him staring.

The rest of the drive was quiet; the usual loud music turned down so you could only faintly hear it. It was peaceful: you humming along to the melodies; Eddie's fingers tapping along to the beat; the road stretching out into the darkness before you. All too quickly, he was pulling up in front of the Munson trailer at Forest Hills, and the sound of the three doors opening echoed into the quiet,

"You good going home by yourself, Max?" Eddie asked, walking around to stand next to you,

"Yeah- make sure you don't forget your jacket or your prize," You smiled, leaning your back against the van and glancing at Max as she walked in front of you,

"Right," She looked over them, before looking up at you, "Can you hold this? I want to put my jacket on," Eddie quickly moved forward, taking the plush from her as she thanked him. He looked over the Popple's face, handing it back to her,

"Cute," He commented, setting his hands in his jean pockets,

"Are you sure you don't want it?" She asked, holding the creature in her hands and looking it over with a small frown, "I mean, isn't this like a couple thing to do? Win prizes at arcades for each other?" She glanced between you,

"Mmh- but you can also get them for friends," Eddie said. You felt him tapping your shoulder, and when you looked at him, he was holding a lit cigarette out for you to take, "It's yours to keep, kid," He smiled in reassurance,

"Oh!" She looked over the stuffed animal again, blinking and with a look of bewilderment on her face, "Uhm... Thanks, Eddie," She nodded her head to him, then thanked you quietly, "Tonight was... Was good," She said,

"No problem- I'm glad you had a good evening," You said, taking hold of Eddie's hand once he locked the van, "Ready to go home now?" You asked, nodding towards the two trailers,

"Sure," She said quietly, still staring at the toy, transfixed. She followed after you silently. The night was pleasant, a soft breeze blowing through your hair and sending a chill across your skin. At your shivering, Eddie took the cigarette from your lips and held out his jacket,

"You'll be cold," You said with a frown,

"You'll be warm," He said with a smile, causing you to roll your eyes and take the jacket from him. It was warm from his body heat, and the smell of cheap cologne and weed filled your senses- the comforting smells of home, "See? You look better in my clothes anyway," He said, moving an arm around your shoulders with a smile,

"How cute, Eds," You said, taking the cigarette back from him and placing it between your lips to take a drag. You finally made it to your trailer, picking up the laundry basket you had left behind and quickly taking down the shirts, folding them as you stacked them in the basket. Glancing over you saw Eddie sitting on the top step of your trailers porch, quietly talking with Max as he smoked your cigarette,

"You got a name for the little guy?" He asked, nodding to the plushie in her hands, 

"A name?" She asked quietly, 

"You never named your stuffed animals as a kid?" He asked, raising his brows,  

"No..." She said, 

"Well, I think he deserves a name," He pointed to it, "How about... Frederik... Frederik the First," He smiled, "He strikes me as a... Thing with an 'F' name," He said, 

"Why the first?" She asked, 

"First one to get a name from you. And it rhymes," He explained, 

"It's alliteration..." She said quietly, 

"That's the one with the letters being the same?" He asked, taking a drag as she nodded, "'F' and 'F'. Huh... Well, if you don't like Frederik the First, give him a different one... Or her!" He smiled, moving his arms out. She regarded the toy for a moment, thinking,

"Francis the... Fast," She said, glancing up at him for approval, 

"Cause he's fast?" He smiled, 

"Well yeah... She kinda looks like a rabbit I had back home in California," She said, moving a hand to touch the soft fur on the Popple's face, "She wasn't called Francis, she was called Hoppy,"

"That's cute," Eddie said, nodding, "Predictable for a rabbit but what can you say?" He shrugged, "Did she like hopping?"

"Mhm," She hummed softly, smiling at the fond memory, "Yeah she... She was great... And then she ran away," She frowned softly, "My stepbrother... He forgot to close her cage... I cried for weeks hoping she would come back," She said with a small frown, "But she never did..."

"Well," He sighed, "Things like that happen," Eddie nodded, "I had a puppy that ran away," He sighed sadly,

"Really?"  She asked,

"Mhm. My dad got super drunk and left the door open. I was, like, eight?" He put a hand on his chest, "My first heartbreak," He said dramatically, leaning backwards on his arm, "Sometimes I still think I can hear Lucky barking for me to let him back in," He sniffled as you approached, setting the basket by your front door with a small laugh, 

"Eddie, you better not let anything that's whining under your window inside," You smiled, taking a seat next to him. Eddie moved an arm around your waist, drawing you closer to him, "Last time you freaked out over a possum," You reminded him, 

"I'm smart- I won't let a possum back inside, babe," He shifted his head to kiss your cheek reassuringly before his gaze travelled back to Max. She had gone quiet, still staring at the toy in her hands, "Are you sure you're okay, Max?" Eddie asked, the worry clear in his tone as he watched the girl standing before you. She glanced up, and from the faint light, you could see faint tear tracks were staining her face. She quickly whipped it dry, a look of anger crossing her face, before it quickly faded. She opted to look away from you both instead. You let the tense silence hang in the air, glancing at Eddie and meeting his concerned gaze as you both figure out what was best to say to her. Slowly, she moved to sit down on the bottom step,

"Metalica... The Four Horsemen... Billy liked those songs," She mumbled, more to herself. She drew the toy close to her chest, hugging it,

"Billy "The Asshole" Hargreeves listened to Metalica?" Eddie muttered in disbelief; you shoved his shoulder slightly at the comment, "What!? Is it so hard to believe that waste of space gave them the time of day?" Eddie said with a frown,

"Eds, he was her brother," You hissed, glancing at Max, "Sorry h-"

"No, it's fine. Billy was... An asshole," She sighed, rubbing her clothed arms with a small frown, "The music just reminded me of him... And the way that things used to be when he was still around," She said softly. You remained silent, letting her talk. Somewhere deep down, you felt she needed this- to talk to someone, "They weren't great... I mean, he drove me to the arcade, but he never went inside like you did. Sometimes he got out of the car to talk to a girl. He never went inside to play games with me..." You heard a small sniffle, "He never won me prizes, or let me keep them... We were never close, but I still cared for him... And maybe that was my fault,"

"Your fault?" Eddie asked softly. She shook her head,

"That... We weren't close," She sighed. Did she want to say something else? "He was my step brother. He barely tolerated me in California. He hated that we were related. I thought if we moved to Hawkins things would be okay... But then they weren't," You frowned softly, brows drawing together, confused,

"H-" Eddie started, but you quickly tapped his chest with your free hand, drawing his attention,

"Shh," You hissed quietly. In the dim, moonlight, you might have seen the twinkle of fresh tears rolling down her cheeks, had she not moved her head to look downwards and pick at the fraying material of her shorts,

"Today was one of the best days I've had in a while," She admitted, and though you couldn't see her face, you could tell she had a slight smile on her lips from how her tone shifted, "And all you guys did was play games and ate food with me," She said quietly,

"Well, sometimes that's all you need," Eddie smiled, leaning forward to ruffle her hair, "Eat food and play games with your friends. You let us know anytime when you want to go back down there and kick ass at Dig Dug again. Or Pacman," He glanced over at you,

"Mhm," You confirmed, "We're always here for you, Max," You said, reaching a hand over to place it on her shoulder, "Us... 'Trailer Trash' gotta stick together, right?" You gave her a reassuring smile. She smiled back with a small nod, whipping her face again,

"Sure..." She stood slowly, looking at the plush in her hands, shaking slightly,

"You have a goodnight," Eddie wished,

"You guys too," She said, waving a hand. You watched as she walked the short distance to her own trailer, waving once again as she noticed you watching her, before unlocking the door and disappearing inside,

"I hope she's doing okay," You mumbled softly, letting out a sigh and rubbing a hand over your face, 

"She's okay for now," Eddie murmured beside you. You felt a gentle kiss being pressed to the side of your head, "We did what we could... Come on- it's getting cold, even for me now," He said, moving his hand to rub your arm. With a grimace, you stood and grabbed the laundry basket, while he stubbed his cigarette out,

"I just wish we could do more for her... Do you think it's too much if I bring over lunch tomorrow? Or breakfast?" You frowned, glancing over as he stood up, throwing the butt of his stubbed cigarette into the darkness,

"How about you just invite her if you run into her?" He suggested. Glancing up at him, you saw him offering a hand out for you to take, "We let her know today she has us if she needs us. And she has her mom to take care of her," Gently sliding your soft hand into his rougher one, you let him pull you towards your front door got your keys out,

"Yeah, but if she's anything like mine was..." You trailed off with a long sigh, "But you're right. At least we made sure today was a good day for her," You smiled softly to yourself as you entered your home. A soft sigh left your lips at the coolness inside- you'd have to bake Wayne cookies or something as a thank you present, "We can go to the arcade some other time again," You said, "Since she said she liked it,"

"We'll go whenever you want, babe," he said from behind you, entering after you and locking the door behind him, "Where's that camera of yours?" He asked, walking around,

"It's up on that shelf-" You pointed it out for him, "I brought it all the way back down to Hawkins with me. It should still have some film. You want a beer?" You asked as you headed for the kitchen, sliding the jacket off of your shoulders and setting it on the back of one of the dining chairs,

"Nah- not really," He said, approaching you with the camera and turning on the kitchen light,

"Oh?" You murmured surprised, turning and leaning your arms back against the kitchen counter, watching him curiously,

"Not thirsty," He said with a wink. There it was again. You grinned, moving so you were standing next to him, illuminated by the overhead kitchen light. He held the camera up, snapping a picture of the two of you together, smiling into the lens. As it instantly printed, he grabbed it, shaking it and setting it off to the side to develop "Kiss me on the cheek?"

"Why?" You asked with a smile

"For the picture," He smiled holding the camera up again as you placed a hand on his shoulder to get closer,

"Is one for me and one for you?" You asked in an amused tone, standing on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek,

"Mhm," He hummed, snapping another picture and shaking that one out too, "We'll have these ready by tomorrow," He said, setting the camera down next to them and looking at you,

"That's good. I'll look at them before work," You smiled,

"Work," He sighed, moving closer to you and setting a hand behind you on the counter to prop himself up as he leaned down to kiss your cheek, "Do you have to go?" He asked with a small pout,

"Unfortunately," You smiled at him, "You can always come and visit me though- you're my most valued customer, Eds. Even though you never buy anything," You said playfully, setting a hand on his shoulder and gently squeezing it,

"Right," He said with a frown, hanging his head so his hair bounced. You reached a hand up to gently play with the ends of his loose curls, "God... I..." He groaned softly, moving and beginning to pace slowly across your kitchen,

"What's up, Eds?" You asked, folding your arms and shifting to lean back against the counter, watching him,

"I don't know," He said, his hands moving to rub over his face and eyes, "I guess just... I've been thinking about... Things a lot," He said with a frown, "Mostly you being so far away from me in Franklin... I mean... We're the same age and I'm still in... Fucking high school..." He muttered to himself angrily,

"Hey, Eddie," You said softly, gently putting a hand on his wrist, "You know that's not-"

"But that's the thing- it is my fault," He said quickly, exasperated, "I mean, I'd love to graduate and leave with you, but I just fucking can't get through this year," He huffed, "The first time I failed it... I never cared about... Education or whatever and then... It was all so serious in Senior year... With graduation and with college," He sighed,

"Yeah, that... Was stressful," You frowned softly, remembering back to two years ago. How stressed you had been the whole time about passing all your classes, actually getting into Franklin college, and applying for financial aid. Since he failed, you graciously delayed your plans of leaving for a year- not fully ready to accept being so far from Eddie for such a long time, and not trusting yourself to survive that long without him... But when he flunked the next year too, you knew you couldn't wait for him any longer... You had to live your life and... Do something. And although your separation was heartbreaking, you vowed to come back the following summer. And here you were, and here he was in your kitchen... "But we got through it right, Munson?" You tried assuring him, "Here, come on, it's been a long day we can talk about this tomorrow," You said softly, moving through the kitchen to walk to your bedroom,

"I didn't want to graduate that first year," He suddenly admitted. You froze, glancing at him,

"What?" You asked in surprise,

"The first time. I guess I failed on purpose- missed O'Donnell's final because I knew there was no way in hell I'd pass it so I just... Didn't show up," He sighed, shoulders sagging. He crossed your room, sitting heavily in your desk chair, "I never told you because of how embarrassing it was, and you were already mad at me-"

"No, I was never mad-"

"You were pissed off, babe," He said quickly, pointing at you, "I could see it... Sence it... You fucking... You could have left me that first year- You should have-"

"Wait, Eddie, hold on, cause yesterday you were pissed that I left without you," You frowned,

"Yeah, and at myself that I didn't just go with you," He sighed, "All because I was afraid about moving on with my life... Seeing Wayne so disappointed I failed wasn't the same as seeing you," He frowned, sitting heavily in your desk chair, "You were walking around so sad everywhere... Because of me," He said, 

"No, Eds, it wasn't because of you," You said quickly,

"Don't bullshit me," He said in a sharper tone than intended, wincing himself, "Shit, sorry," He muttered. With a frown, you walked over to him, kneeling on the ground before him and reaching out a hand to place on top of his,

"Eddie," you said softly, "I know how hard school is for you. Even now. But I never looked down on you for failing. I never felt angry staying here. Annoyed maybe, but never angry at you," You said softly, squeezing his fingers and feeling the cool metal of his rings pressing against your skin, "I just... Wish you could leave with me already," You sighed, "See how much better the world is outside of Hawkins..."

"Yeah, and I'm trying," He said in an exasperated way, "You have to believe me I'm-"

"Good," You said quickly, cutting off anything else he might have wanted to say, "Because I miss you a lot," You moved his hand and pressed a kiss to the backs of his fingers gently, as he had done to your before, "And I can't wait to have you annoy me every day of my life again," You smiled softly, standing and moving to your nightstand so you could set your alarm clock to four am.

Eddie went quiet at your statement, seemingly moved by your tender gesture. He was leaned back in your swivelling chair, moving side to side slightly with his hands clasped together and a faraway look in his eyes. He was playing with his rings, having slid the metal pig's head a little further up his skin so it was loose, twisting it around his digit. His legs were spread apart widely; he had removed his shoes at your front door. There was a deep frown set on his face, corners of his plump lips downturned, and his brown eyes missing their usual Munson spark,

"Okay..." You sighed, sitting on your bed far enough so you could lean your head back against the wall and letting the heavy silence surround you momentarily. You glanced over at him, thinking for a moment, before smiling to yourself, "You... Remember when we were younger? And we'd make all these plans about our futures?"

"Yeah, but we... We were kids, man," He frowned, running a hand over his face, "Kids don't think about money and bills and... College and graduation," He rambled,

"Plans are plans, Eddie," You said softly, giving him a small smile, "Besides... It was always our future. Never my future, or your future. Ours. We always wanted to be together, no matter what came our way," You reminded him,

"And you still want that...?" He asked, the uncertainty clear in his voice. It always broke you how hard Eddie was on himself, how disbelieving he was that you wanted him to stick around. If only he knew just how much he meant to you,

"Are you kidding me?" You smiled at him, "Of course I do... Come here," You said, even moving a hand to pat your leg, the same as he had done to you earlier today. That made him smile, along with your reassurance. With a sigh, he stood up and walked over to you,

"You mean it?" He asked sheepishly, placing a knee on your bed before sitting down, half on, half off,

"Yes, Eddie," You said, reaching a hand out and grasping his tightly, "God, what I would give to just... Leave with you right now. Get you out of Hawkins for good," You smiled at him warmly, "Drive out somewhere, find a cute little place-"

"Why don't we?" He asked hopefully, "Like- like right now?" He offered, his smile returning to his lips as he looked at you eagerly. Truthfully, there was nothing you wanted to do more right now... Though realistically, it was near impossible,

"Well, I can't exactly have long-term guests staying in my dorm room..." You sighed,

"But you came back here to make money for next year, right?" He asked; you nodded your head, "So you can move out?" You nodded again,

"But the thing is with my rent here, I'll have t-"

"Move in here with me," He blurted out, and your hand relaxed in his, eyes blinking in disbelief,

"What...?" You whispered. It felt like every emotion flooded your brain and your veins at once, circling through your body and making your heart race and your stomach drop,

"Just- Wayne'll understand, he loves you!" He said excitedly, grabbing both of your hands in his, and shifting closer to you on the bed, "That way you won't be paying rent here; you'll be keeping all your money, staying with me, which is a great bonus, personally speaking," He rambled with a bright smile, making you let out a small, surprised laugh, "And you just gotta focus on work-"

"Eddie, you realise I would never-" He frowned at your words, "-stay free of charge right?" You finished quickly, his expression relaxing, "If your uncle even let me stay, I'd at least help him out with the rent and paying for utilities- I could also get a second job and-"

"But you're not... Saying no?" He asked, "If I talked to my uncle and he said yes, you'd move in with us?" He asked hopefully, eyes full of longing and hope. You smiled softly. His eagerness had caused him to shift closer so he was mere inches from your face,

"I'm not saying anything until you talk to your uncle about this," You said, a smile spreading across your lips, "I know how impulsive you can be, Eds. I don't want to finalise anything just yet," You stated, "But... I'm not going to decline or pass up on an offer like that," You barely even finished your sentence and he was already grinning wide and wrapping his arms around your middle. He laughed in delight, leaning on you so you were forced to lay back on your bed with him on top of you, nuzzling his face into your neck eagerly,

"You mean I'll get to wake up to you every morning for the rest of my life?" The proposition didn't sound too bad. You couldn't deny that the times Eddie had stayed overnight at your trailer had always left you feeling happier and significantly more well-rested. Though you were not a morning person, waking up to the sight of him in your kitchen, humming along to himself between drags of a cigarette in just his checkered pyjama pants while he made coffee was an image you had burned into your mind, and made you want to leave the warmth of your bed. The memories of waking up in the middle of the night, tangled in one another arms on the couch with the TV static glittering against your face, forcing you to press your face further into his neck and feeling his lips ghost over your forehead were your personal favourites. Going to sleepovers and leaving wearing his clothes because you purposefully forgot to bring something to sleep in, and were too drunk or stoned to walk across the park to your home, eventually forming a collection of black band shirts that you'd find yourself wearing when your heart ached for him in the middle of the night, crying against the cotton that so faintly clung to his smell... You wouldn't need them anymore... You'd wake up to him every day...

"Only if-" You started, though quickly stopped due to his groan of disagreement,

"Indulge me, babe," He muttered into your neck, lips ghosting over your skin causing you to shudder, sighing as his warm breath fanned against your flesh. Lifting a hand up to stroke through his hair, you smiled softly, shutting your eyes and letting your mind run, "What would our lives look like if we lived together?" He asked you,

"We'd wake up like this," You started, feeling his lips moving into a grin at your words, "You'd wake up first. You always do, Eds..." Your brow furrowed and you opened your eyes, "Wait... Does that mean every time I'd fall asleep on you-"

"I never wanted to wake you up," He mumbled. His voice was delightfully low next to your ear, "You always hated getting woken up by anyone... It's a good thing you're so cute. I'd be pissed off if anyone else used me as a personal pillow," You laughed softly at that,

"I... Wow..." You hummed. You couldn't even count the number of times you had unintentionally fallen asleep on him- on his couch, in the movie theatre, in the forest when you got too drunk or high... And he always...

"Mhm- it's wild how long it took you to realise I was in love with you," He sighed again, "Continue, please. I was enjoying myself," He said, "We wake up..." He started for you again,

"You worm your way out of my arms eventually," You smile softly, "You go to the kitchen to make us coffee. It takes me a while to realise you're not there... I get up-"

"Oh, be realistic, sweetheart," He chastises, causing you to laugh,

"I thought it was our fantasy?" You smiled,

"Yeah, but come on," He laughed, "Don't be unrealistic," He said playfully,

"Fine. I lay in bed until you bring me coffee... We get to drink it together... I'm probably wearing one of your shirts- the AC/DC one's my favourite-"

"Oh yeah, do you have it by the way?" He asked, "I've been looking for it everywhere,"

"Uh... Yeah," You admitted, embarrassed, "I took it with me... To remember you by," He smiled again, and he pressed another kiss to your skin,

"Damn, babe, am I really that forgettable?" He says playfully,

"Of course you're not, Eddie!" You say quickly, "I just... It gets lonely out there without you, you know?" You said with a small sigh,

"You can keep it," He grinned, "The shirt. It looks better on you anyway. Keep going," He murmured again,

"Right... So... We drink our coffee in bed... I'll probably tell you about some wild dream I had- or you will. And we'll laugh about that," You smiled, letting your eyes open slightly to watch your fingers as they gently separated the strands of messy curls, "And then... We'll smoke something?"

"It's your day off work?" He hums,

"Mhm. No work that day," You smile, "Maybe it's a weekend? We'll either go outside and enjoy how cold it still is, or just open the window and lay back in bed," You mutter as you watch your hands delicately working through his hair, avoiding pulling on the knots, "Maybe you have your guitar and you're playing something for me?" You smile, "I'm laying in bed... Or on your lap,"

"What song?" He whispers,

"I don't know," You match his quiet tone,

"Oh c'mon, babe," He says normally, kissing your neck again, "What song do you want me to play?"

"I can pick any song?" You smile,

"Anything in the entire world," He murmurs, "For you, I'd learn any song,"

"Romantic," You mumbled, humming, "Could you play me 'Rip Her to Shreds'?" You grinned,

"Blondie? Really?" He asked amused as he sat up to look at you, placing his chin on your chest,

"Hey! You said any song," You smirked, moving your hand to play with the hair framing his face, "Maybe you could throw in 'A Shark in Jets clothing'?" You asked,

"What is it with you and Debbie Harry?" He grinned,

"Have you seen- Have you heard Debbie Harry? She's amazing!" You grinned,

"Mhm," He hummed half-heartedly, before moving his head to the side so he could lay on your chest, "I'll play you the Shark one- I always liked that one better,"

"You listened to Blondie for me?" You smiled affectionately,

"You left the tape at mine," He said, "Though I can't say I'm tempted to steal your Debbie poster," He grinned, sitting up and looking across your room at it,

"I used to lay awake at night and just stare at her," You sighed playfully, eyes scanning over it, "She's just so beautiful," You breathed,

"I'm getting jealous over here, baby," He said playfully, causing you to laugh "Why didn't you take her to Franklin with you?" He asked curiously,

"I guess I just forgot..." You sighed, "And she looks better up here," You smiled to yourself, 

"Or... You secretly came back for her, and not me," He said playfully, 

"Bingo, Munson," You said playfully. You let your eyes fall shut tiredly as he moved off of you, laying next to you. His arms remained wrapped around you, but he pulled your body closer to his chest, "Today was a good day," You murmured, 

"It was?" He asked, 

"Mhm," You hummed, opening an eye to look at him, "Because of you," You gently touched the tip of your finger to his nose, grinning as he wrinkled his nose, 

"Cause of me?" He asked softly, 

"Mhm," He smiled at that, "You always make my days better, Eds..." You said softly, setting a hand on your cheek and leaning forward to gently kiss him, "I love that we can kiss now," You grinned, quickly kissing him again, 

"Mhm," He hummed against your lips, "You have no clue how long I've wanted to do that," He sighed, leaning his head back on your pillows and shutting his eyes, 

"How long, Eds?" You smiled, 

"Mmmh," He hummed, opening his eyes and looking up, thinking, "So... You remember in junior year-"

"Here we go," You rolled your eyes, 

"Let me speak, babe," He smiled, 

"Oh, sorry, do go on," You smiled, reaching out and beginning to play with his hair again, 

"Mh... In junior year, we skipped Phys Ed together to smoke behind the gym. It was your first time, and you started coughing like crazy," He smiled, 

"Ugh- I still remember how bad it burned my throat," You commented, 

"Uhuh- and look how far you've come," He grinned, "Anyways- we both went back inside to change. You got dressed first, as usual. Some Seniors had apparently seen me stealing their cigarettes and decided to beat the shit out of me for it," You winced softly at the memory. It was outside- he was already changed into his Hellfire shirt and ripped black jeans, but by the time you got there, the white fabric was speckled with his blood,

"Shit, I remember," You frowned, the images of him being punched, then thrown to the ground, body curled and arms raised to try and protect his face as he got kicked flashing through your head, 

"Yeah..." He muttered, absentmindedly reaching a hand up to touch a small, faint white scar stretching from the bottom of his lip down to his chin, left as a reminder of the incident, "Thought they'd kill me until you came and saved me," He glanced over at you. He poked at your downturned lips with his finger gently, but you quickly grabbed his hand, interlocking your fingers,

"I don't like that memory," You frowned at him. His face bloomed into a soft smile, and he moved your hand to press a delicate kiss to your fingers, 

"Well I do," He said softly, "Because when they saw you, they ran. And then... God, they probably kicked me in the head too hard because I thought you were my guardian angel," He closed his eyes, setting your joint hands on his chest, "You were so worried for me," He smiled, teasingly, 

"Because I thought they were going to kill you," You said sternly, watching him unamused. He kissed your hand again, just to watch your expression soften slightly at the gesture, 

"You picked me up off the floor and skipped sixth period just to take care of me," He said softly, glancing up again in remembrance, "You had this look on your face... Your eyes were shining so much, I thought you were going to cry for me. You babied me a lot- you said I could have a concussion and I should go to the nurse," He smiled, 

"That's not a happy memory, Eddie," You said softly, moving your face closer to him, 

"No... It's not," He agreed softly, "But do you know why I realised I was in love with you then?" He asked softly, 

"...No," You admitted softly, 

"Would you like to?" He asked with a smile, the curve of his lips widening as you nodded, "I realised that someone, someone in all of Hawkins, cared about me," He said with a gentle sigh, 

"You have Wayne-" You tried to say quickly,

"I know," He said quickly, "But family caring about you is different to friends- or lovers," He spoke softly. He let go of your hand, and moved it to slide against your cheek, "See, you could have left me there. Pretended you never saw, pretended to be confused or worried about my black eye and split lip next period... But you went out of your way to make sure I was okay- I think I remember you mumbling something about covering my hospital bill if I actually had a concussion," He smirked as you looked away with a blush, 

"Of course, I care about you, Eddie," You said softly, frowning, 

"Yeah... I know now... And I realised then that you really did that day," He said softly, "And I also realised," He said softly, sliding his hand down to your chin and tilting your head with his fingers so your eyes locked, "That I was in love with you," He murmured before his lips touched yours, sealing his words.

The kiss was slow, and gentle, years of yearning and affection pouring into one another. It was beautiful, not sad or interrupted like the first one you shared yesterday, and you could feel warmth flowing from your chest across your whole body. It really felt like you would be floating away, if he wasn't holding you down, pressing you closer against him, one hand running up and down your arm whilst his other kept a gentle hold on your face. Your own hands roamed from his neck down to his chest, feeling his heart beating against your gentle fingertips. You smirked against his lips as you traced a heart with your fingers, sighing as you felt him pressing his tongue against your lips in a silent ask for permission. 

Though you didn't go further tonight, you went to sleep knowing you were with someone you loved and trusted completely, and that he'd still be there by the time you regained consciousness made you feel safe, above all else. And knowing he wanted some sort of future where you were there for him, and he'd be there for you made you feel elated. You knew it was rare to find someone you could happily call your 'soulmate' in this world- but Eddie was your person. Your soulmate. Yours...

[red-balloon12]

Okay so here are my thoughts about the new Sanders Sides episode-

1. Freaking Logan with his big wine glasses. They were growing with time....this guy needs therapy-

2. I know a lot of people are saying that at this point Janus and Remus are accepted as sides, but I really don’t think they are. Not fully anyway. C!Thomas is kinda warming up to Janus but he still has that uhhhh.....uneasiness to him. It’s even more so with Remus. And they kinda got separated from some of the questions...so yeah...I don’t think they’re fully welcomed in regards to C!Thomas. And certainly not to the “light” sides. (Especially Roman and Virgil)

3: Speaking of Roman and Janus, Thomas has a good way of both building and diminishing ships. Like that once scene when Janus was saying that he was the “Voltaire to his Rousseau”...do you know how many people can take that and make content out of it if they know the story? (But of course Roman still does hate Janus and so.....Enemies To Lovers 40k Words, anyone?)

4. Remus just being Remus. Also I both love and hate how we had to get his symbol in a special. It probably wouldn’t have worked any other way. I also ALSO like how Remus knows more than he leads on about what’s gonna happen in the season finale....and that Janus (and himself) spraying soap keeps him from spilling. That’s funny-

5. Janus and Remus playing Patton’s DDR when they aren’t on screen. Thanks Mr. Sanders. Now whenever those two ain’t on screen, I’ll just be thinking of that. Dang it.

6. Janus getting upset about not having his own song (or at least not getting to sing at all.) And also getting mad that he wasn’t included in “Lies” absolutely sent me and I felt that on a personal level.

7. Honestly there’s not much I wanna say about Virgil or Patton themselves. I am hoping Patton does meet a nice pupper to love and I guess I hope Vigil’s relationship with the “dark” sides gets better cuuuus.....I need to know what the heck happens between them. Oh, and Patton calling Janus “Jan” revived something that was long since hidden within me........and that thing is being mild mociet shipper-

8. Logan being the “mom” of the family. I’m gonna have to prepare myself for all of the untagged Logicality posts that will be coming soon....oh and Logan says no to gender roles.

9. Roman being upset about the wedding.....or should I say the callback? Oh and we finally know where the whole “Bumba Gump Shrimp” thing came from! It came from our boi Remus-

10. I also need to prepare myself for all of the Demus and untagged Prinxiety content that will come out......tag your stuff, guys.

11. Janus is confirmed wine aunt. And Janus getting better at impersonating the sides. Oh the possibilities-

And finally 12. Only Sanders Sides can drive people insane about an orange.

My final conclusion: I talk about Janus a l o t, and I’m very exited for the season 2(?) finale. LET’S SEE HOW BAD THINGS GET!

Reflection: But in all seriousness, I’m glad this show got to where it is today. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared that this show would go under because of larger gaps in content and tHe VirUs. And I realized that I, along with SEVERAL others, have been watching these figments of imagination for 5 years. I feel old. I’ve learned and grown so much with this show and it pleases me that it isn’t over yet. I want to thank my fellow fanders that gave the fandom (and the crew) wonderful art and stories and theories and fan edits and etc. And I give big thanks to the folks that joined Thomas’s patron. And finally I give thanks to the crew and Mr. Sanders for giving us this great show. Happy 5th anniversary y’all!