#anyways bribery and threats work on me

[bones-n-bookles]

Cave Bean for @losech 💜

[decepti-thots]

Idw ProwlOp is already pretty cursed so I'd like to see if you could make it even more cursed 😆

RIGHT OKAY i am doing the cursed AU asks now!!! sorry, last night i felt ill and went to bed early in the end oop

prowlOP really IS just supremely cursed in itself, so let me think. okay. prowl pre-Shadowplay notices that orion is acting Weird and Shady about something and starts following him after work. he finds out that this is seemingly related to orion constantly meeting up with a random senator in just extremely suspicious-looking circumstances. (fellas. please. sitting conspicuously on the same park bench pretending not to be talking is not a good way to look incognito.) prowl is pretty disillusioned with the current state of things already, and so now he's like okay great orion's on the take and/or being blackmailed.

because he has a god complex and is nosy, he decides he needs to get to the bottom of this. his solution is that he will ingratiate himself into orion's good graces. somehow. he's not sure how you do this as normally he just tortures people into doing what he wants by threat of "if you don't do what i want i won't leave and you'll have to keep talking to me" at work.

anyway. he starts finding really shitty excuses to drop by orion's office randomly and just DESPERATELY tries to make charming small talk while there under extremely flimsy pretenses. his thought is that orion probably has very few people to confide in because everyone's a subordinate at work or not privy to sensitive information he has through work, so if prowl can force his way in as a Trusted Friend TM, he can get orion to confide in him about whatever shockwave has on him (or confess to bribery when prowl has a microphone on him, whichever).

orion eventually puts the awkward colleague who is very bad at saying his feelings bluntly out of his misery and is like "yes, prowl, we can go on a date after work". oops.

[giganonyx]

TBB SEASON 3 EPISODE 4 RAMBLING INCOMING (HAPPY NOISES)

CAN I GET A FUCKING AMEN ??? WE HAVE BEEN BLESSED?? WITH THIS GLORIOUS EPISODE?? HOLY SHART??? LIKE HELLO?? I AM SO UNWELL

WE GET CROSSHAIR AND OMEGA BONDING + SIBLING ACTIVITIES (GAMBLING, BRIBERY, MURDER, AND THEFT LMAO)

THEN WE GET CROSSHAIR IN CIVVY CLOTHING?? HELLO???? (OK I never realized how his eyes LOOKED yk?? Like, they are so similar to a regular clones’ I just never realized! and how expressive he is with his body language, and eyes!! Loved the animation this ep.)

AIQNAIWNOQQ THAT WEIRDO IMPERIAL CALLED CROSSHAIR OMEGAS DAD AWWWWWWWWW I’m so ILL

THAT ONE GUY GETTING BLASTED AWAY BY THE SHIP THRUSTERS IM CRYINGGGG

THEN OH MY GODDDD

OUAGHHHH

WHEN I TELL U seeing the Marauder there waiting for their ship, I almost CRIED

I could feel the relief and the hope and the TEARS oh my god

WRECKER AND HUNTER WERE SO HAPPY TO SEE HER AND SHE WAS SO HAPPY TO SEE THEM SHE WAS CRYING I WAS CRYING WE WERE ALL CRYING WE CRODE HUNTER HUG WRECKER HUG HE RAN TO CARRY HER I AM IN LITERALLY SHAMBLES anyway im never recovering from that ✌️ 😘

AND THEN

AND THEN

HUNTER AND WRECKER LOCKED EYES WITH CROSSHAIR AND THE MOOD FUCKING SHIFTED

LIKE OH MY GODDDD

THE WAY THEY VISIBLY TENSED, YOU COULD FEEL THE TENSION AND SUSPICION THROUGH THE SCREEN

Hunter’s eyes darkened, Wreckers eyes darkened, they both clenched their fist, their posture straightens because that’s a threat. He has been trying to kill them EVERY TIME they have met. OF COURSE they would respond that way to the man who betrayed them (EVEN WHEN THE CHIP WAS NO LONGER WORKING).

BUT HES A CHANGED MAN GUYS HES YOUR BROTHER AGAIN PLEASE YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME CROSSHAIR SAY SOMETHING OMEGA SAY SOMETHING RAGHHHHHH

this episode. Is everything to me. We stay WINNING. BUT I’m also so scared for the upcoming episodes bc if we already got the reunion then what the FUCK is going to happen later on ??? Ik Omega wanted to free the other prisoners, so they will probably do that, but I’m genuinely so afraid.

[ihni]

“Ow, ow, ow, what the fuck?” Steve hissed and tried to escape. Billy’s hands were still tangled in his hair, though, so he couldn’t get away. “Whatever you’re doing, stop doing it!”

“I can’t stop now, I’m only halfway through!” Billy hissed back through clenched teeth. “And if I do, we have to start over again.”

“Or,” Steve said, trying to twist his head into an angle that would lessen the pain, “you practice your braiding technique on someone else. That sounds like a good idea to me!”

Billy disentangled his fingers from Steve’s hair and threw himself backwards in the couch dramatically. “Okay fine! This isn’t working out anyway. Fuck it.”

Wincing, Steve felt at his hair and grimaced at what felt like several knots. “This doesn’t feel like a French braid, babe.”

Flicking his eyes up at the mess atop Steve’s head, Billy pouted, “It doesn’t look much like one, either.” He sighed deeply. “That’s it. I give up.”

Steve sat down next to him in the couch, trying to comb out his hair with his fingers. After a couple of seconds, Billy reached his hand up to help loosen the knots. Steve relaxed into it and let him take over after a while when it became clear that Steve was really only making it worse.

“How important is it that it’s French braids anyway?”

Billy sighed. “Max said it absolutely had to be French braids. Apparently all the girls in their year are doing French braids for their school photos, and she and El don’t want to be the only ones left out.”

“And Susan …?”

“Is out of town.”

“Right.”

Billy lowered his arm and put it around Steve’s shoulders instead. When Steve reached up to feel the top of his head, he was relieved to find that his hair was once again free of knots, even if was sticking up in all directions. “And why can’t Hopper do it? I mean, if El wants to do it, too?”

That drew a laugh out of Billy. “I actually asked him that exact question. He said that he has, and I quote, ‘sausage fingers’, and also that apparently I have enough unpaid speeding tickets for him to put me behind bars for at least a weekend.”

“Wait, did he threaten you?” Steve said, outraged, and turned to face Billy.

Billy laughed. “Yeah, but he also said that if I do this, he can make all those speeding tickets go away.”

“So, bribery.”

“Basically.” Billy shrugged. “At least it beats the threats.”

“Sure,” Steve agreed, “but neither of those are ideal coming from the Chief of Police.”

Billy didn’t reply. Instead he just snuggled closer to Steve on the couch and leaned his head against Steve’s shoulder. There was a library book in front of them on the coffee table, open on the section that showed in eight detailed, black and white images how to make a French braid. They’d been at it for over an hour now, without success. Steve’s scalp was burning, and Billy’s sighs got deeper and deeper for each failed attempt.

“Let me try,” Steve said, taking a deep breath before standing up. “You have longer hair anyway.” It was a testament to Billy’s despair that he didn’t object, and that he didn’t protest even when Steve got behind the couch and started carding his fingers through Billy’s hair. “Where’s that brush?”

Wordlessly, Billy handed him the brush over his shoulder, and then leaned forward to bring the book closer so Steve could see the instructions better.

“It doesn’t look too difficult,” Steve said and started pulling the brush through Billy’s locks.

“It doesn’t, does it,” Billy muttered, but said nothing else as Steve started separating Billy’s hair into sections.

Twenty minutes later, Billy’s hair was in something at least half-resembling a French braid, and Billy was feeling along the braid with a wondrous expression on his face. “Really? You did it? How does it look?”

Steve made a face. “I mean. Not like in the book, but. With practice, I think we can do this.”

“Steve?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

Steve laughed. “I love you too.” And then he added, while Billy went into the bathroom to check out the final result, “Also, we’re gonna have to bribe the girls with something to make them say that you did their braids. So you’ll get rid of all those tickets.”

“I love you.”

~~~

For @harringrove-flip-reverse-it

(On AO3)

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

okay, i have to ask.

if the finals for the unscripted and scripted brackets were boring for you, then how did you feel about how that changed into the absolute explosion that was the championship round between the brackets?

I enjoyed it! Yeah a couple people went a little too far or were a little too harsh in my judgement, but besides the one person who said "vote for ___ or I'll kill myself" no one went past my personal limit.

Also, general reminder, please do not threaten suicide on these polls. Even if you (general) think it comes off as a joke, it is going way too far. I know when I was in high school people were frequently actively suicidal on social media, and I can't read that as a joke anymore.

And while I'm on the topic, while I can take some disparaging comments and joking threats towards me as the mod, I really need everyone to be nice to the other voters on these polls. If you have a Tumblr account to make a mean comment with, then you have your own blog you can make that mean comment on.

Anyways, that aside it was a great time! I know some people saw others as annoying but like, I've been in fandom spaces and online for a while now. Being annoying is how this works.

I cannot believe you (iersei) has fulfilled over 200 drawing requests in the like, two months this tournament has been running. I am in utter awe.

Also I know I've said this in the tags but somebody offering nudes for Lovelace votes? A) Proof that Lovelace voters were doing bribery just like Glenn voters. B) Was so far beyond what I expected. (They were very nice in their messages asking permission but that was an unexpected series of messages to read in the middle of the night. Especially since I read their DMs before their asks even though their asks were sent first.)

I also wasn't expecting everybody to feel so bad about voting for Carlos in the Cecil vs Carlos poll! If you go through those tags it's just a series of "It's what Cecil would want. :(:(:(:(:(" Babes! Cecil does not have a gun to your head! You could have voted for him if you think that fashion disaster is sexier!

So yeah, I wasn't bored at all. <3

[cryiling]

revalink but they're kpop idols in the same group and people make those stupid ass dating analysis/speculation videos about the both of them being a couple because their bickering comes off as flirting to everyone else 😭

stop bc this is literally yoonmin AJDBANDJ the bickering like an old married couple is SO THEM

at first I was wondering how would revali and link even be in the same group? and ik in this post you mentioned that revali probably wouldn't even be in a group, he'd be a soloist. but then I was like:

what if they were in a survival show together and they debuted in the final lineup 😵

I'm gonna be so fr I have never watched a survival show, not even i-land or boys planet, so idk how any of it works, but imo revali seems like he would be in first place throughout the show even though international fans don't like him, they're like how is he winning?? but revali is just so good (and the show is probably a little rigged since the judges have favorites, but it's not bc revali bribed them- he wants to win because he deserves it, not because of some bribery)

meanwhile, link is the fan favorite; he's charismatic and good looking, he regularly goes viral on tik tok, he does a freestyle like that one guy from bp, I think his name was woonggi? and the fans absolutely lose their mind, and link shoots up to first place. ofc revali immediately sees link as a threat, and so their (one-sided) rivalry begins (link is just vibing but revali is absolutely livid that he's second. out of 100. like that's stil reallyl good revali u can chill!!)

throughout the rest of the show the two are fighting for first place, every other voting period they've switched spots, and it's clear that they'll both make the final cut, but the real question is who's going to place first?

it's link. of course it is.

anyways they debut with hmm like 5 other ppl so it's 7 of them in the group (idk who though, don't ask me 😊🙏). and at first it's SO AWKWARD like revali is bitching about link every chance he gets and the managers are like.. can u pls stop. we keep having to edit the clips of you so you can maintain a somewhat respectable reputation 😭

the editors can do whatever they want, but at the dorms, revali and link are totally fighting each other, like istg whoever their leader is has to do some serious damage control every time one of them says something out of pocket.. revali starts talking abt how link shouldn't be on the team and the leader is like woahh hey let's not do that

that doesn't stop revali though :/

ykw does make him stop? after a huge fight where revali definitely says some things he didn't think through (I'm not gonna say bc it hurts my heart to think abt), link storms out of the dorms, and the leader (istg I'm gonna make it teba atp) is like dude u fucked up.. go apologize to him

and revali bristles and is like why should I?? but deep down he feels super uncomfortable and guilty for this whole thing, he's like have I gotten so lost in this rivalry that this is just who I am? he doesn't voice all that but he does leave to go find link, who is predictably in their practice studio. but when he gets there, he can hear crying through the door. and when revali listens closer, he hears, "I don't know, aryll, sometimes I just feel like I don't belong here. I don't know if-" a pause, a muffled sob. "I don't know if I want to do this anymore." silence, then: "i just want to do something right for once. it's never good enough."

revali backs away from the door; he's heard enough. he goes back to the dorm and straight to his room without talking to the other members. he shouldn't have been eavesdropping. and besides, if link wants to quit the group, that's not his problem, right? at least revali will finally get the spotlight.

but the thought of link being gone, it leaves a cold feeling in his gut.

umm this got dark fast and I don't like the direction I went in.. maybe their rivalry can be more lighthearted 😊 but yes anyways revali gets this wake up call and is like ohh maybe I shouldn't be an ass! and after seeing link in a new light he gains a new respect for him. so the next day after letting link calm down and after revali gathers his thoughts, he goes to talk to link and they're able to work out their differences! just kidding 😇 it's not that easy. but their dynamic does shift, and it becomes less toxic and the bickering and friendly challenging becomes more reciprocal rather than being one-sided bullying

atp it's been a little over a year since their debut, and their fans have CLEARLy noticed the positive difference in their dynamic. so ofc the crazy delulus start making dating rumors abt them! 😦 because there's no way they could have started being so nice to each other for no reason, something definitely must have happened! the rest of the fandom is clowning the shippers like ur actually so dumb for shipping them

as time passes the two are able to look out for each other but still have a sort of friendly rivalry! my brain is running out of energy to come up with things but they're literally yoonmin from bts, like look at this compilation of them bickering and tell me that's not them🧍🏻‍♀️

fans see these interactions and go crazyyy like maybe those delulu shippers weren't so delulu after all 😦 clearly they have a way different bond than with the other members, and they're constantly acting like an old married couple with the constant back and forth over literally the tiniest things. and ppl fr start making compilation videos of all their interactions and SWEAR that there's something going on, and it's literally just.. revali and link arguing whether , or link getting revali a bottle of water on stage, or revali and link on a team together during a variety show

bickering aside, though, they would privately support each other in their own ways 🥺🥺 imagining revali staying up late at the studio to practice until his voice is raw, the other members of the group have all gone to bed in the dorms but link notices that revali isn't back yet (omg bc they were roommates??👀) and so he gets up, prepares a mug of oolong tea, and brings it to the studio for revali. he makes him take a break to rest his voice, and after much convincing, link brings revali back to the dorms and makes him go to sleep

in turn, revali — who knows how vulnerable link really is to harsh criticism — takes extra care to compliment link when he thinks he does well, and to give guidance in a more constructive way. if they have a particularly good performance, he'll tell link that, and if he notices link having trouble with a certain move or part of the song, he'll talk to him privately abt it and help link improve!

honestly this whole au is giving me serious 13 iconic yoonmin moments vibes, like imagine revali stumbling across one of these revali x link compilation videos and actually looking at the way they interact with each other and going like oh. oh.

AAAAA anyways this post is so messy and the beginning didn't even end up being something I liked that much but I had fun writing this 😊 ty for the ask oomfie this was lots of fun to think abt!

[lonesome-witching]

Okay, time for part 3 of my ‘I Think We’re Alone Now’ engagement series.

This time, since I noticed that the previous fics in this series were from the perspective of Robin, I’m pitching this from Nancy’s perspective.

Basically, helping to plan her mother’s and Joyce’s wedding has been a bit of a hectic time for her, and she probably hasn’t been getting enough sleep as she should be, despite Joyce’s, and Karen’s, and Jonathan’s, and Robin’s attempt to make her sleep through a variety of ways (polite requesting, typical parent threats of grounding, bribery, and maybe even seduction, respectively), though none of them work. But she does notice that Robin has been ‘working’ a lot more recently, and at times when she shouldn’t be. Nancy, of course being quite smart and good at detective work would come to the conclusion that Robin’s planning something for her, but in her sleep deprived state she comes to a completely weird and zany conspiracy conclusion (something about mole men) that just causes her to stay up even later working on that alongside the wedding plan. Eventually Robin finally succeeds in getting Nancy to sleep (her method is up to you), who mumbles about her conspiracy as she slips into unconscious, leading to Robin falling even harder for her (Robin wasn’t even sure it was even possible to fall in love more with Nancy than she already was). Anyway, when Nancy wakes up in the morning Robin’s already awake, and after last night couldn’t wait anymore, and so proposes to her then and there, with the ring she’s been working her ass off in order to afford. Nancy immediately accepts, then as soon as the ring’s on her finger, remembers the conspiracy she came up with and is extremely embarrassed about it, and Robin laughs it off. They kiss and it’s all romantic, until Joyce enters Nancy’s room to check to make sure she hasn’t pulled the eighth all-nighter in a row, and is all embarrassed about walking in on Robin and Nancy, then she notices the diamond ring on Nancy’s finger.

To be continued…

Sorry but I just can’t help myself with the excessive details…

Thank you for the prompt. I hope you like it. I tried to stay as close to the prompt as possible. Any problems in quality are probably due to classes.

The Mole Men and the Diamond Ring

Send me prompts

[fufaitazu]

as promised lamey will now lay another lame fankid in front of you. this time under a spoiler since it's so shameless compared to mio. this is "honey." no surname. boss's (other) daughter. FULLY REDUNDANT BECAUSE TRISH EXISTS but she goes in another direction.

ok so for someone who admits part 5 is one of her least favorite parts i think a fucking lot about part 5.

yes i recognize she looks a lot like her father its fine

this is "honey". the idea here is literally just diavolo having a second estranged daughter. does it really track no do i care no i told you it was cringe i warned you if your expectations were higher that is on you!

anyway i wanted her to be a more deliberate narrative parallel to her father who only shows up a while after he's dead. like she only pieces together her father's identity after he's deceased and she's found the only piece of inheritance she got from him - his stand, king crimson.

yeah sure she just has king crimson. it's fine. she (years after part 5, this isnt like a "2 days after purple haze feedback" thing) she'd have put all the pieces together about who her father was and become convinced that she deserves more than what she has. that as his child she deserves his spot at the top since he (and no one else) ever bothered to give her anything and she's had to violently claw her way towards what she has today.

anyway what sets her apart from her father is that she refuses to rule through fear; instead of hiding her identity and killing anything that gets too close, honey is friendly, open, and personable, making sure that her subordinates are genuinely like family to her. in her eyes that's a more unshakable bond than keeping people held down with bribery and threats of violence. in most cases she's right.

her goal is to take control of passione. she resents giorno for inexperience and taking what's rightfully hers. she admires trish, and wishes they could be on the same side; but she's heartbroken to accept that won't happen. she only intends to be violent when it's necessary; but when she deems it necessary, she is absolutely ruthless.

she interacts with king crimson physically a lot. he's her closest companion. but anyone who works under her she considers a true friend.

i called her honey because you catch more flies with honey than vinegar

if you have questions let me kno. thanx

[notsuchasecret]

Tricks and Treats - SouMako

Come trick or treating in my inbox! Leave a “Trick or Treat” and a character or ship in an ask, and I’ll treat you to some autumn-themed fluff or trick you with some twisted spooky aus! Treat I swear, the Sousuke and the Makoto are in this, they just. Don't show up for a while lmao. @ezzydean come collect your child, he's running amok in prompts again.

“Rei-chan, it’s time.” Rei didn’t even look up from the magazine he was flipping through, which, rude. Nagisa was pulling out his very best Drama, and the least his best friend could do was at least pay attention. “The winds are changing, Rei-chan. The air grows cold. My days of freedom have come to an end, and it is time, at last, for you to put me in the ground.”

“Mhmm.”

“You’re the worst.”

“Nagisa-kun, your libido is not my problem,” Rei droned, turning a page.

“I’ll make it your problem,” Nagisa threatened. Rei sighed, tucking his thumb in to mark his place as he closed his magazine and leveled Nagisa with a Look.

“Threats do not work on me, Nagisa-kun, you know that.”

“I think you’re thinking of bribery, Rei-chan. Threats work perfectly well, when you know the right pressure points.” Nagisa maintained eye-contact, his jaw tightening as Rei’s own competitive nature kicked in and it became a full-blown staring contest.

“Wait, why is Hazuki-san threatening Ryuugazaki-san?” Momo stage-whispered. Rei looked away and Nagisa grinned.

“Because he’s got too high of a sex drive,” Ai replied, casual, like he was discussing the weather, and don’t even get Nagisa started on the hypocrisy of that—

“Momo-chan,” Nagisa said, slapping his hands down on the table and leaning over it into Momo’s space. Momo, bless him, had not learned one bit over the many years they’d known each other, and leaned forward as well, attentive and eager to please. “I am today in the unique position to make you a once-in-a-lifetime offer. If you act within the next…” he glanced at the clock. “…fourteen minutes, you will be totally free to murder me with absolutely zero retaliation from my ghost.”

“…Yeah, I’m gonna have to say no on that one, Hazuki-san. Sorry.”

“Grave mistake, Momo-chan,” Nagisa sighed.

“Well, whatever machiavellic revenge you’re going to pass on to him, better come up with it soon,” Ai said, still snuggling into Momo’s side and looking out the window, an utterly bored expression on his face. “Here they come.”

Nagisa’s head whipped around so fast that something cracked in his neck, but none of that mattered one bit. Not when Rin was walking through the door of the coffee shop and behind him were—

“Fuck,” Nagisa whined, dropping his head onto the table. Rei reached out and patted the back of it absently, already turned back to his magazine.

“The hell’s his problem?” Rin asked, dropping into the seat beside Ai and flopping across him, making Momo let out a quiet ‘oof’.

“The usual,” Rei said.

“It’s flannel season,” Ai explained. Nagisa whined into the table, pointedly ignoring the way he could hear the two remaining seats filling.

“Nagisa, what’s happening?” Makoto asked, not quite sounding like a mother concerned for the well-being of his precious kouhai, but more like a mother whose many, many children had drained his will to live and his patience for shenanigans.

“You,” Nagisa answered, still refusing to look up.

“Me.”

“And him.”

“Him being Sousuke-kun?”

“Yep.”

“Nagisa, what are you talking about?”

Nagisa tilted his head up to lean his chin on the table and level Makoto with a glare. Across from him, Sousuke was already smirking, his chin on his hand and his eyes hooded like he knew he didn’t need to try to seduce Nagisa, but was going to put in the effort anyway. Nagisa stuck his tongue out at him.

“Nagisa,” Makoto groaned.

“Every fall, when the weather gets colder, the two of you break out the flannel shirts, and my life goes to hell,” Nagisa snipped. “And it’s always you two. Rei-chan doesn’t wear flannels, Sei-chan is so aggressively asexual that he doesn’t even register to me, and no one else in our friend group is big enough to give off the hot lumberjack vibes you two have oozing off of you. I know Sou-chan’s doing it on purpose, but I can’t decide if you not realizing is better or worse, actually. And since we all know neither of you is gonna go there, I’m left sitting here drowning in a pool of my own hormones. Every. Goddamn. Year.”

Makoto blinked, but he didn’t flush or sputter like Nagisa had half-expected. Instead, he glanced at Sousuke with an almost amused furrow in his brow.

“Who said neither of us would go there?” he laughed. Rei groaned, turning to glare at Nagisa.

“If the apartment isn’t spotless when you’re done, I swear I will shred every last blanket you own to ribbons.”

“Woah, Rei-chan, I don’t—“

“Every. Last. One. I want the whole place sparkling. And smelling of citrus cleaner. I will not have a repeat of last time. Understood?”

Nagisa glanced over Rei’s shoulder, at the way Makoto was smirking and Sousuke was watching him with what could only be described as bedroom eyes, and shrugged.

“You’ll never find all my blankets anyway, so, sure. Understood.”

With that, he hopped out of his seat, returning Rin and Ai’s lazy waves with one of his own, and marched out of the coffee shop without bothering to wait and see if the other two were following him. He could hear the laughter and the shuffling of chairs behind him anyway, and he had more important things to devote his brain power to. Like planning. And all the creative ways he could use those damned flannel shirts.

He smiled, taking a deep breath of the crisp autumn air. It was time.

[spirirsstuff]

OKOKOKOKOK HKJKLSF:JKSL:KJLDK

so like

actually. it mjay involve more than one of ur ocs but

like

basically mc (unnamed since i can't think of one rn) and red (magic hunter dude) are a duo of magic hunters. mc is kinda sorta badass, but also a complete sweetie and doesn't wanna hurt anyone whatsoever. red has told mc that magic only hurts people and no monsters involved are good. or worth saving. and since mc wants to help everyone they are just like 'ok bet' and now they work with red to find and eliminate magical threats.

in this fic basically all of your magic ocs are like... big in-charge people hlkjadfsklj-- they rarely are found speaking with mortals.

and then, ofc, one day, demon killer (YOU KNEW IT WAS COMING> YOU KNEW. /lh) shows up in the mortal realm for some ~fUn~ whatever that entails. he runs into mc (while he's in disguise, obv) and immideately starts flirting. mc is like 'mmmmmno' for a little bit, but he's insistent, so eventually mc relents and asks him about....

books. yes, books.

killer is caught off guard initially, but eventually just says 'yeah. yeah, i like books!' and bs-s his way through an entire conversation abt books. (mb nightmare forced him to read a book and mc brings up that particular book in a stroke of luck and killer gets to talk abt it, idk haha)

and then they go get coffee! it's not a date, tho. or is it?? neither of them got time to figure out if it was because bABAM. red crashes the lil meeting. he's like 'mc, are you ok???' and panicking about it (but in a not panicky way because yknow. he's red.) and mc just goes 'yes?? wtf is wrong???'

'there's a demon nearby.'

and then killer just like.. slowly raises his hand with a smug grin and switches into his ~*demon form*~. mc's eyes go wide, and before they have time to react, BAM. red knocks killer out.

long story short, after a lot of negotiating arguments, red allows mc to keep killer in the library (should i mention? red and mc live in an abandoned mansion in the woods. they fixed it up toghether. they're only really living together because neither of them are in a ood financial position atm. are there feelings there?? maybe.... >:3c)

so yeah. now mc takes care of killer, which inevitably leads to a lottt of pining. and thennnn.......

they run away together.

killer takes mc to the magic realm (without mc's permission) to protect them. red is not thrilled.

and thennn.........

still plANNING

bu yeah! opinions? :D

LISTEN TO ME. LISTEN TO ME REALLY GOOD. PLEASE WRITE THIS IF YOU WONT I WILL BECAUSE ACTUALLY I LOVE THIS IDEA

ok two things tho (they're just minor things nothing too huge!!)

killer probably wouldn't just switch into that form out if public, maybe they go outside or something for that idk behind the shop or something like that. also if red is saying this in a threatening tone (which i think would be how he's talking n shit) (also he can't tell specifically what it is, just something supernatural) killer probably will take just mc cause. i mean. he's basically being threatened.

also red would be like. super opposed to keeping anything supernatural alive because. y'know. trauma. so it might take a lil bit for him to say yes (lots of bribery probably and a lot of convincing)

anyways i love this idea so much i would be so excited if you wrote this (i have so much lore for that au that i never dropped godddddddd)

[five-rivers]

Danger First

Chapter 2

Heya @pocketramblr. I have no self-control.

.

Izuku expected his anxiety to subside, one way or another, once the exam was over.

As always, the universe set out to prove him wrong.

Home was more or less okay. But, for some reason, minor household repair issues started to bother him so much he spent the rest of weekend working on them

Then there was school, which was even more hellish than usual, despite being exactly the same as it had been since the sludge incident. Izuku was way too aware of how much of a threat everyone there was to him, specifically. Especially the teachers.

His hypervigilante state did keep him from getting poked (smacked) quite so much by the teachers, or cornered by 'fellow' students quite as much as usual, but it also led him to hide in the library storage room. He'd never be able to look at the librarian the same way again. Not knowing she kept multiple copies of books by anti-quirkless hate groups on hand.

And all through the week, he got nothing but silence from All Might.

But the end of the week came, and with it a letter from UA, which told him-

.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, FIRST PLACE?"

.

"I don't know, Nana, Banjo makes a good point."

"Don't take his side just because he was your predecessor. You all know a One for All holder would never resort to such devious- Yoichi, why are you making that face?"

"In an unjust world, bribery can be a tool for justice. I'm sure Eighth didn't have to, though."

"That's it, I'm not talking to any of you anymore."

.

"Anyway," said All Might, wiping blood from his mouth and glancing nervously at the other beachgoers. "Congratulations, young Midoriya."

Izuku felt his lip wobble. "You're not mad that I couldn't use One for All?"

"Not at all! Actually, in some ways this might be better. We'll have some time to experiment privately. And if you're in school when it finally turns on... well, we'll just say you're a late bloomer, alright?"

"Okay," sniffed Izuku, rubbing his eyes. "I just... I couldn't use it. What if-"

"Hey, hey, it's alright, my boy. No need to cry. You passed the entrance exam without using a quirk at all! You should be proud. Even with a quirk, it's an incredible accomplishment. Also, just so you know, I had nothing to do with the selection process. Just in case you were worried about favoritism."

Izuku sniffed and nodded.

.

"What a strangely specific denial."

"Uh, Banjo, usually I'd be reveling in the chaos, but I think Nana is seriously considering ghost murder right now. Maybe you shouldn't insult her kid anymore?"

"You and Hikage would protect me, right?"

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I'd sell you to Satan for one corn chip."

"So would I; it's been way too long since I've eaten. As long as it is Satan and not All for One, you've got my blessing."

.

"You certainly proved this old man wrong."

"You aren't old," protested Izuku.

"We'll have to agree to disagree on that," said All Might. "Here, sit down with me," he said, settling on the sand.

Izuku hurried to follow suit, and for a while, they both just watched the ocean. It was nice, today.

"I owe you an apology, young Midoriya."

"H-huh?"

"For what I said on that roof," said All Might, "and for what I... implied later."

"You already apologized for the roof, though?" said Izuku, confused. "I mean, that day..."

"That's what I'm talking about," said All Might. "I shouldn't have- The way I apologized, when I offered you One for All... It was like saying that you couldn't do it without a quirk, that you needed a quirk to 'fix' yourself and... well, obviously I was wrong. Quirk or not, you're going to be an amazing hero."

.

"Oh," said Banjo, "I can already tell this is going to be a problem once he finds out about Danger Sense. Gonna blow a hole right through his confidence."

"Maybe he won't find out?" suggested Nana, who'd wrestled her murderous impulses into submission. Temporarily. "Danger Sense is pretty low key."

"I feel like I should be offended..." said Hikage. "But if I got offended, that would be offensive to people who don't have quirks..."

"I don't know," said En. "If someone insulted your legs by saying they were so skinny it was like they weren't even there, would you being offended be offensive to people who don't have legs? Or would the original statement be the offensive one?"

"Somehow, I feel more offended after that."

.

"Oh," said Izuku. He felt himself crying again. "Are you, um. You're not going to- Are you- Do you want it back?" he whispered. "One for All?"

"No, no, of course not. You... There's no one I'd rather have it. I'm just... even if you didn't, you could be a hero. But I'm hoping... I'm hoping you'll keep it."

Izuku swallowed and nodded. All Might awkwardly raised his arm.

"Do you mind if I...?"

"Sure?" said Izuku, not entirely sure what he was asking.

All Might put his arm around Izuku and gave him a sort of sideways hug. Izuku leaned into it. It was the safest he'd felt since the entrance exam.

Because, surprise, surprise, that anxiety hadn't gone away.

"What did you say?"

"Oh! Uh... it isn't important, it's nothing."

"It didn't sound like nothing," said All Might, concerned.

"I, well, I, ever since the entrance exam... maybe even a little bit before? I've been really... jumpy? About everything. I think it's just because I'm a wreck, but..."

"Huh. Well, you know, that could be a facet of One for All."

"R-really?"

"After I got One for All, it seemed like it was easier for me to tell when people were in danger and needed help," said All Might. "S- A friend who knew about One for All used to joke it was my original quirk. But it was subtle and intermittent, not constant."

"Huh," said Izuku. "So... it might have been One for All all along? Trying to get me to help people?" He picked at his lower lip. "Maybe... I noticed a bunch of stuff I usually don't... I'm not sure I would have seen all the people in trouble during the exam."

.

"So much for not noticing-"

"His confidence... let him have it for at least a little while..."

"He seems to be taking it alright," said Yoichi, hopefully.

.

"I'm sure you would have helped them if you did notice, regardless," said All Might, "and that's what was really being measured, so my earlier point still stands."

Izuku nodded. "It would be really strange for a quirk to have two completely different applications like that."

"Yes, but One for All is a rather strange quirk, and I've seen odder split quirks." He fell silent for a moment. "I can't think of a way to test for it, though. Speaking of which, we should find some time to try and work on One for All before the school year starts. How do you feel about coming to UA after school?"

.

"Th-thank you for helping us with this, Recovery Girl!"

"It's no trouble, dear," said Recovery Girl. "I'd be here at this time, anyway. You wouldn't believe the amount of paperwork I have to go through. Just try not to break too many bones."

Izuku nodded vigorously, still somewhat in awe of being in the presence of not one but two incredible pro heroes. And at UA.

It was like living in a dream.

Except for the highly suspicious mostly-hidden wall panels and the very intense feeling of being watched through camera by an incredibly threatening being. It was fine.

"Alright, young Midoriya! Are you ready?"

"Y-yeah!"

"Then come at me, you zygote!"

.

Nana stared at her (former) student in despair. "Toshi... why... out of all the people..."

"So, you admit he can make bad decisions-"

"Bad and immoral are two different things."

"I think calling people zygotes is pretty immoral, actually..."

Silently, Nana agreed.

.

Izuku blinked at All Might- not because of the zygote thing!

... Okay, partially because of the zygote thing.

But mostly because he was still in his skinny, prone-to-coughing-up-blood form.

"Are you sure?" Izuku asked. "What if I..." he trailed off, blushing. What he was about to say sounded so stupid, and more than a little conceited, but...

"Hey, even like this, I'm much tougher than I look, young Midori- Ahem, I mean, zygote!"

"Toshinori, don't you think role-playing as Gran Torino is a little much?" asked Recovery Girl.

"Ah, do you think so?"

Recovery Girl shot All Might a truly terrifying look, but Izuku's mind was on something completely different.

"Is- is Toshinori your name?" he asked, awed.

Blood drained out of All Might's face, making him look more skeletal than usual. Should Izuku not have asked? Was it supposed to be secret? Oh no...

"Please tell me you haven't been training this boy for most of a year without him even knowing your name."

"Oops?" said All Might, faintly.

.

"He did do that, didn't he?" asked Yoichi, his eyebrows almost touching his hairline. "Nana, your boy is a disaster."

"All of us were disasters. We're still disasters."

"I'm not."

"Hikage, you spent most of your adult life living in the woods, completely isolated from humanity."

"I know, it was great."

"Unbelievable."

.

"Back to what we were talking about before," said Mr. Yagi (Mr. Yagi! Izuku knew All Might's name! And had permission to use it!) after Recovery Girl was done scolding him. "Focus on actually hitting me before worrying about accidentally hurting me. Today, I just want to get a baseline. Next time, we can work on basic punches and throws."

"So, do I just-?"

"Yep, just come right at me!"

.

The next hour consisted mainly of Izuku being thrown bodily into various padded surfaces. Despits this, according to Mr. Yagi, he was much better at dodging than expected. As a bonus, although he certainly felt sore and bruised, he didn't break any bones.

He also didn't manage to activate One for All. Not even a little bit.

Nor did he on any of the other days leading up to his first day as a student at UA.

.

Aizawa Shouta, down two nights of sleep and dreading the new batch of bright eyed hero hopefuls he'd be teaching- and crushing the dreams of- next week, glared blearily at a computer screen. Currently, it displayed a student's name, a quirk name, and the single least helpful quirk description he'd ever seen. Which was saying something, because he'd seen Hizashi's original quirk description.

Midoriya Izuku

Quirk: undetermined

Description: None.

I am either too tired or too sober to deal with this, decided Shouta. However, sleep simply wasn't on the table, and getting drunk was illogical. In that case, simply not dealing with it was the only option.

Nevertheless, he picked up his phone and called Nezu.

"Good evening, Aizawa!" said the internally chipper maybe-rodent. "Or should I say good morning?"

"Midoriya Izuku."

"Ah, you're browsing your class list, I see. Any thoughts about their potential?"

"Illogical." It would be, to make a call about a student's potential without meeting them first.

"Quite so!"

"Midoriya. Quirk," grunted Shouta, reminding him why he was calling.

"Ah, yes, he is a strange case. He's listed as quirkless in the registry."

That woke Shouta up, just a little. He'd seen a handful of documents for the quirkless over the years. If Midoriya was quirkless, his file should read N/A, not undetermined.

"What?"

"I have reason to believe that he might have been diagnosed in error," said Nezu. "I am still investigating. In the meantime, I would appreciate it if you kept an eye on him. Assuming, of course, that he isn't expelled!"

Shouta grunted and hung up. He minimized the window on his computer and pawed through his files until he found the entrance exam video for Midoriya.

A kid who passed the UA hero course practical entrance exam either entirely quirkless or with a subtle, stubborn, or invisible quirk on rescue points alone. A kid who seemed to run straight for danger on purpose (mostly on purpose, Shouta amended after seeing him collide with the invisible girl, coincidentally pushing her out of the way of some sort of water pressure quirk. There was just no way he could have known she was there). A kid who had almost certainly faced brutal quirk harassment since the time he was four and most likely possessed the self-confidence and trauma to match.

"Least he's good at dodging..." muttered Shouta. He rubbed at one grainy-feeling eye and pulled his sleeping bag closer around his shoulders. Kid wasn't all that bad at falling, either. Some light martial arts instruction, maybe?

He paused the video and reopened Midoriya's file, flipping to school and admission records and exam results. He usually didn't look closely at this part of the file, it was enough for him that the students passed, but, exceptions...

Speaking of exceptions, Midoriya's file was a mass of contradictions. Unusually high written test score that didn't correspond with middle school grades. Dozens of citations and black marks on his disciplinary record that should have kept him from even being invited to take the exam, but a letter of recommendation from All Might.

He frowned at the last one. There was no way...

He shook his head, and clicked on the link at the bottom of the file. It brought him to a herotube video about a year old. A hostage situation with a vaguely familiar middle schooler and slime-like villain. Also, a bunch of heroes, but none of them seemed to be addressing the suffocating child. Shouta felt his lips curl. Even if this was in the past...

Then Midoriya Izuku ran into the frame and tried to pull the other boy free, just seconds before All Might arrived and punched the villain so hard it started to rain. Then the video ended.

Alright, then.

Shouta's admittedly currently-less-than-razor-sharp mind presented him with two possibilities. One, Midoriya was All Might's secret child and All Might had bribed Nezu into letting him take the exams despite his less-than-stellar records. Two, this child had, with bloody fingernails, managed to claw a single spark of luck out of an otherwise bleak existence by impressing All Might enough that he got Nezu to ignore the otherwise damning records.

If the first, well, he had still passed the practical without use of any obvious quirk. He probably had some potential.

If the second... Shouta had been a hero long enough to recognize the circumstances that drove people to desperate, and sometimes unforgivable, acts. Dangling a single hope in front of someone only to snatch it away at the last minute...

Forget the maybe-quirk. This was the real conundrum of Midoriya Izuku.

The rat knew he wouldn't expel Midoriya with these stakes. It would be the height of irrationality.

(Even if he did turn out to be All Might's kid.)

What a pain.

He flipped through a few more profiles, quickly reviewing 1-B as well, before hitting redial on his phone.

"Calling again so soon?" asked Nezu with a squeaky chuckle.

"I want Monoma." He paused. "In my class," he elaborated.

"Oh? Whatever for?"

"If I'm going to have to figure out Midoriya's mystery quirk, I want to make it as easy for myself as possible."

There was silence on the other end of the like, and Shouta checked to see whether or not he'd hung up accidentally. He hadn't.

"I must say," said Nezu, finally, "I had not considered that solution. Depending on the mechanics of Monoma's quirk... I cannot think of any reason to deny your request."

That was a strange way of phrasing it.

"We'll exchange him with Bakugo, in that case."

"Not that I'm complaining," said Shouta, "but why him? Why not..." He racked his memory. "Mineta. He's got one of those body part quirks Kan likes."

Nezu chuckled again. "Normally, I would pick Mineta, but, by my calculations, a classroom that contained both Monoma and Bakugo would be demolished within thirty minutes of their arrival."

Shouta groaned. Why did they even let people like that in?

No, wait, he had an answer to that, actually.

"Forget a mouse, a dog, or a bear," said Shouta. "You're a sadist."

"Some certainly think so! But one thing's for sure! I'm the principal!"

.

The door to class 1-A sure was big... and intimidating... and radiating a faint sense of malaise. But, then, Izuku's middle school classroom had done far worse, so...

He opened the door. No Kacchan. Thank goodness. He must be in the class B, then, because there was no way he'd let Izuku beat him to school.

The strict boy from the entrance exam was there, though, and, oh, dear, he'd noticed Izuku and was coming right for him.

(Oh, gosh, and the invisible girl was here, too. He felt himself blushing furiously.)

Still better than Kacchan.

"Hello!" he said, rather loudly. "I'm from Somei Private Academy! My name is Iida Tenya!"

"Oh, uh, I- I'm from Aldera Middle School..." said Izuku. Was stating the name of your middle school a normal thing? He hadn't read about this in any manga... "I'm Midoriya Izuku."

"Pleased to meet you!" He moved his arm in a rather robotic fashion, taking a deep breath.

Oh, no, was he about to yell at Izuku again?

.

"Danger Sense isn't even going off right now, Izuku," said Yoichi, despairingly. "Why are you still so nervous?"

"Maybe we never really gave him Danger Sense after all, and it was his natural anxiety the whole time."

"Please stop denigrating my quirk."

.

"Midoriya... you... you perceived the true nature of the practical exam. Meanwhile, I was blind! I misjudged you! I hate to admit it, but you were the superior candidate."

Oh, that was nice, but... "I didn't perceive anything, though. I had no idea rescue points were a thing. I was mostly just trying not to die."

"Ah! That curly hair! It's Midoriya!"

"Oh! Um, Uraraka?" Please, please, let him have remembered her name right.

"Yeah!" said Uraraka, smiling brightly.

Augh! Too cute!

"I'm so glad you're in my class! I was so worried I wouldn't know anyone here."

"Y-yeah. T-this is Iida, by the way," said Izuku, trying to get attention off of himself.

"Nice to meet you, Iida."

"It's nice to meet you as well, Uraraka!"

"Yeah! So, we've got the entrance ceremony and guidance sessions today, right? I wonder who our teacher will be- They're all supposed to be pro heroes, right?"

"Um," started Izuku, "that-"

"If you're here to socialize, then get out."

.

"That's a teacher, huh," said Yoichi.

"Why are you saying that like you've never seen one before?" asked Banjo.

"I've seen teachers before," said Yoichi. "I've seen all of your teachers. The ones you've had while you had One for All."

"Okay, now you're saying that like you've never had teachers."

"Yeah, that is kind of strange, Yoichi," said Nana.

"I had professors," said Yoichi.

"Still weird."

"I went to college. And med school."

"Did you graduate?" asked En, interested.

"No."

"Why not?"

"My brother kidnapped me, kept me in a vault for a while, and then I died."

"I didn't know what I expected," said En, shaking his head.

"Wait, weren't there several years between the vault and the whole dying thing."

"Yeah, but I'm ignoring them."

"Because?" Banjo hooked his thumb over his shoulder at Second and Third.

"Yep," said Yoichi.

.

"Todoroki. You were the highest scorer on the Recommendation Exam. See how far you can throw this ball with your quirk. Stay in the circle. Anything else goes."

A boy with white and red hair stepped forward, scowling faintly. He took the ball and stared at it.

"Time is valuable, Todoroki."

And then there was a glacier.

Izuku felt his jaw drop. How was he supposed to compete with that?

.

"My name is Monoma," said a blonde boy, offering his hand.

Izuku stared at it a moment before remembering handshakes were a thing.

"Midoriya," he said.

Monoma then offered his hand to Uraraka and Iida as well. "I look forward to experiencing UA's superior brand of education with you," he said.

Izuku laughed nervously. "You're confident," he said, glancing at the track where two others students were doing sprints. It would be their turn soon.

"But of course!" Monoma struck a sort of pose, fingers splayed out on his chest. "I welcome this sort of challenge, this opportunity to prove myself! It just goes to show, UA only accepts the best of the best!"

Monoma was called away to the starting line a moment later. "Two good, one dud," he mumbled under his breath.

What did that mean?

Then Monoma was at the starting line, and he was using Iida's quirk. Did he have a copy quirk? That was so cool!

... Is that what he meant by good and dud? Did he... did he see that Izuku didn't have a quirk? Oh, no... What if he told everyone? Even if people were being nice to him now...

"What's wrong?" asked Uraraka.

"U-um," said Izuku. "Nothing?"

.

"Oh, gosh," said Yoichi, crying. "I just want to wrap him up in a warm blanket. You deserve friends."

"Yeah, kid, it'll be okay," said Banjo. "Bakugo's just a freak. And so was your whole school. Place gave me MLA flashbacks."

"Sure glad they aren't around anymore," agreed En.

.

All in all... Izuku didn't do terribly. Especially given that he didn't actually have a quirk, and this was a quirk assessment. At least, he didn't think he did. At least, he hadn't tripped or hurt himself.

It had, in fact, been a rather good day. No Kacchan. No bullies. The teacher had clear standards and requirements, and he stated them up front.

He had been getting... bad vibes... from the short, purple-haired kid, and he'd noticed other people frowning at him, especially the girls. But he hadn't been able to put his finger on why, even though he had been watching him carefully during his turns.

Other than that...

UA really was the best.

"By the way, no one's getting expelled. It was a logical ruse."

Monoma raised his hand.

"What is it?"

"I must object!" said Monoma.

"You... want someone to be expelled?"

"In fact, I insist! To allow this to continue would blemish the reputation of the school."

"Well said, Monoma!" exclaimed Iida. "Living up to the reputation of UA and all the alumni who have come before us is a duty of us students! But what blemish are you talking about? Surely, as Mr. Aizawa said, we all went plus ultra!"

"Maybe so, but my concern has more to do with moral standards!"

"If you kids keep going like this, I'm just going to go to sleep. You're giving me a headache."

Izuku caught movement out of the corner of his eye, and a wave of unease went through him. He turned to see-

"Hey! What are you doing?" he demanded, shocked and more than a little horrified.

Once again, he was mortally embarrassed on behalf of the invisible girl.

"I wasn't doing anything!" said the small purple boy.

"You were looking up her skirt!"

"It isn't like there's anything to see!"

The invisible girl gasped and quickly moved away. "Gross!" she said. "That's terrible!"

"See? See?" said Monoma, wildly. "This is what I'm talking about!"

"Next time," said Aizawa, "get to the point faster. Time is valuable. Mineta."

"What?"

"You're expelled."

"What? You can't do that!"

"Go complain to Nezu."

UA really was the best.

"Midoriya."

Okay, never mind. He was doomed. Completely doomed.

"Monoma. I want to talk to you after class. The rest of you are dismissed."

Midoriya stood nervously as Uraraka and Iida bid him goodbye. Was this it? Was Aizawa going to expel him after all? At least it wasn't in front of absolutely everyone... But what was Monoma doing here?

Speaking of which, Monoma looked nervous, too... Was he okay? Surely, Aizawa wasn't going to expel him, too.

"Is this about me using other people's quirks?" demanded Monoma. "Because you said anything goes! I wasn't cheating. You can't expel me!"

Oh. There was some trauma there. Izuku could tell. Did people make fun of him for his quirk?

"I'm not going to expel you," said Aizawa, looking up at them from where he laid in his sleeping bag in the grass. He almost looked like he was praying for patience. "I need to ask you some questions about your quirk. For future reference and to better serve your needs as a student. I know how tricky meta quirks can be."

"Oh," said Monoma, slightly deflating. Then he sent a curious glance at Midoriya. "Is he-?"

"His matter is slightly more sensitive. If you would like me to send him away while we talk, I can do that."

"No, no, it's fine." Monoma sniffed, his eyes suspiciously wet. "What's the question?"

"You copy quirks through DNA contact. Do you decide when to activate passive quirks you copy, or can you choose?"

"I can choose, as long as it's within my time limit."

"When you first make contact, can you tell what quirk a person has?"

Monoma shook his head. "No, sir, I have to activate it to do that, so I can get duds- oh, that is to say, quirks I can't use because I don't have the proper activation conditions, like Midoriya's. He's got some kind of stockpile. I can get duds without realizing it. But I can tell whether or not someone has a quirk."

"Were you able to test all your classmates' quirks today?"

"Not everyone, yet," said Monoma. "I usually try to avoid more extreme mutation quirks outside of controlled conditions."

Aizawa's head bobbed up and down minutely. "Great. That should be enough for now. You're dismissed."

"Yes, sir! I look forward to seeing your superior lesson plans tomorrow!" He paused. "Midoriya."

"H-have a good day, Monoma."

Monoma had felt One for All! What a relief. Izuku had been half worried he'd lost it somehow.

But why did Aizawa want him?

"Um, sir?" he asked. Sort of asked. 'Sir' alone wasn't a question, even if it was said in an inquisitive tone.

Aizawa's eyes turned red, and his hair started floating. Izuku felt... Huh. Calmer, somehow? He was no longer vaguely aware of how the light post over there could fall on him, or any of the other many minor dangers surround him and oh, gosh, he was no longer aware of the dangers! How was he supposed to stay safe like this, when he felt like he'd been blindfolded?

Aizawa blinked. Everything came back.

"Wow," said Izuku. "That was so cool! Was that your quirk? Is it an emotional quirk? It made me feel calmer at first, but then I was, I don't know, too calm, and it made me anxious, but then-"

"Problem child," said Aizawa, and Izuku froze at the reprimand. "What I just did was erase your quirk."

Erase?

His quirk?

"Oh my gosh! You're Eraserhead! I'm a huge fan!"

Aizawa closed his eyes. Was he counting? No? Did he fall asleep?

"You do know you're listed as quirkless, right?"

"Yes?"

"But you just had a reaction to my quirk that a quirkless person definitely should not have."

"O-oh?"

"Combined with Monoma's ability to sense your quirk, I'd say you are not, in fact, quirkless."

"But I have the toe joint?" Izuku wasn't sure why he'd said that. He shouldn't be arguing against this, because, as Aizawa had said, he did have a quirk. It just wasn't exactly his.

"Yeah, that's an old wives' tale."

"Really?"

"As real as my quirk counselor license. Whoever diagnosed you was a quack."

"O-oh."

"My initial impression from your entrance exam video is that you might have a sensory quirk of some kind. On the other hand, we should take Monoma's assessment into account, and consider stockpiles. Either way, I would like to schedule some time to test things out with you."

"You- You'd do that? For me? I mean, I don't want to be a bother-"

"This is literally my job."

"It... yeah, I guess so." His previous teachers would have considered it a bother. Except Mr. Yagi, but Mr. Yagi wasn't really a teacher. He was more of a... a mentor.

(Or a dad.)

(Oh, no, he did not just think that. Bad. Bad brain. Bad brain that read too much All Might RPF as a pre-teen.)

"Besides, even if your quirk doesn't have many applications in hero work, it will be useful for you to know what it is and how it affects you." Aizawa yawned. "Also, don't tell your class that I'm Eraserhead."

"O-okay," said Izuku. "Of course, sir, but... why?"

"I have two full time jobs. I get my entertainment where I can. You can go now. We'll schedule tomorrow."

Izuku nodded, and Aizawa just... zipped his sleeping bag the rest of the way closed and rolled over.

Was... was he just going to go to sleep here? In the middle of the field.

"Um? Mr. Aizawa?"

A grunt came from the sleeping bag.

"This is... isn't this kind of a dangerous place to sleep?"

"Go home, problem child."

"... okay."

[saphirered]

Every Second Counts

A little Mollymauk x acrobat!reader that’s been floating around my head. I hope it turned out well. 

You’d been with the circus for a while. You’re part of the family. You are the prime example of agility over strength in appearance but that doesn’t take away from the fact you have muscle control some may ever only dream of. While you are less of a contortionist you’re still very flexible. You could say you’re more of an acrobat. Your circus family is also aware you have an affinity for being sticky-fingered. Your light and quick movement has helped you lighten the pockets of individuals many times before. You have the face of a talker. Attractive as your tongue is quick and you are not afraid to put that charm to good use. All these traits gained you the interest and undivided attention of Mollymauk Tealeaf. 

The man knows little shame and doesn’t hold back when he’s actually telling the truth. He was never shy to make his attraction to you clear but never put pressure on you or have expectations. If you liked him, then you did, and if not so be it. If you told him you liked him, great, if not, that’s fine. If you wanted him not to be affectionate towards you, hug you, sit close to you, pull you into his lap or sit down in yours, he won’t. Molly is aware there’s a difference between pushing the line and crossing a boundary. He’s respectful of those hard boundaries and won’t cross them. 

You’d catch Molly sitting in the audience section of the tent while you were rehearsing for the night when he wasn’t on duty for something. When he was, and Gustav would find him he’d be scolded and told to go back to work, many things to be done before the shows. You’d blow him a kiss when Gustav would threaten to get Yasha or Bo to drag him out, a threat the man would make good on and therefor Molly had to leave one way or another. He’d prefer to leave with his dignity somewhat intact. 

Whenever he could, he’d enlist you to go into town with him to attract an audience for the show. If you had other things to do priorly, they’d somehow already been done or someone else would be doing them by the time you were ready to do them. You had to compliment Mollymauk’s efforts just to spend more time with you. Trickery, bribery and other methods of persuasion were not out of the question to reach this goal. You had to compliment his efforts. 

You never minded any of these things as you enjoyed spending time with Molly. The only hindrance standing in your way had always been your responsibilities and him changing them so they would align, had to be a blessing. Whenever he was successful persuading Orna, one of the most difficult to persuade to switch with, he’d pick you up and spin you around proclaiming proudly he had done it again. 

Your relationship is very organic and in the moment. You’d say you’re in a relationship but neither of you would say you’re boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, partners, friends with benefits or anything alike. You’re you and he’s him. You care about each other, love each other, you spend time together, hug, cuddle and kiss. You’re affectionate, sleep in the same spaces, and sleep together. You do all the stuff couples would do but neither of you ever cared to define your relationship. You’re you and he’s him and that’s all that mattered. This arrangement works for both of you and neither of you feel the need to define or change it.

You’re practicing as the tent is being set up by the heavy lifters. Camp is already sorted so you found yourself with some free time you put to use to warm up a bit. Using one of the smaller tall poles secured you climb up onto the top. You stand on one leg the other parallel to the ground, jump and switch legs, one leg up straight into the air moving your body down until your palms touch the pole. You move your balancing leg up as well and shift the weight to your arms, kicking legs forward, backward and repeat one-handed. You switch to balancing on your lower arms and keep going through the motions to warm up. You hear a whistle. 

“While I’d hate to interrupt, Gustav says you’re with me, dear.” The familiar lavender tiefling smiles looking up at you. You sit down one leg over the other and smile back at him.

“Oh really? Gustav said so? How much did that cost you?” You say innocently. 

“Only three days of dishes and I washing Desmond’s costume after closing night.” Well, at least that wasn’t the worst. 

“Did Gustav tell you I’m free until tonight or did he forget to mention that.” Your smile changes into a grin as Mollymauk frowns.

“That bastard…” You hear him whisper under his breath at the realisation he got roped into cleaning duty for nothing. 

“Come on, let me make good on your deal.” You wrap your legs around the pole and lean backwards. Molly lifts his hands above his head high enough for you to grab them. You hold on and release the pole balancing solely on his hands as he takes a few steps back before you flip over and land on your feet on facing Molly. 

“Thank you. Shall we?” You kiss his cheek grabbing his arm and pulling him along towards the town. 

——————————————————————————

You’d been informed the town houses some dirty rich folks and it’s noticeable by the fine silks and flashy jewellery. Good reason to have increased the ticket price for the shows. Molly and you go around talking to groups and individuals alike, handing out flyers and persuading them to come see the show. You managed to get some excited folks to come see the show but for some more hardheaded individuals you had to throw your charm into the ring. A husky voice, fake interest, a touch of the arm and a bat of the eyelashes got you very far. 

One rather grumpy individual took a bit more to persuade and neither of you were willing to put in the effort after the good round you’d already had. But you did catch a flashy ruby ring and golden bracelet. With their attitude you found yourself justified to relieve them of these possessions during your pitch, for their own good of course. Only later the mention of that person’s name confirmed them to be an entitled asshole day and night, justifying your actions even more in your mind. Molly knew you took something on your little field trip but didn’t know what and you intended to keep it that way.

The night after the show Molly is cleaning dishes with the water from a nearby stream. You make your way over inspecting the stack of clean bowls, plates and cups.

“Came to see my good work?” He scrubs another bowl, checking it and putting it with the pile. 

“No. Desmond told me some of them want a second round after all so they need their dishes back. Mollymauk groans, takes the towel and throws it at you. You catch it before it hits you. 

“Rude! I’m just kidding, well half kidding. I managed to persuade them to leave the leftovers for breakfast tomorrow to spare you more dishes.” You take a bowl from the stacked clean dishes and begin drying it. Molly bumps his hip into yours. 

“If I didn’t know any better I’d say you’re the real devil between the two of us.” Molly hands you the next dish stealing a kiss. 

“Oh shush. You know I’m a saint.” 

“A saint of thievery, deception and trickery.” He points an accusatory finger at you and you slap it away.

“But a saint no less.” You counter grabbing the pointing finger. Molly pulls you closer and kisses your hand giving you one of his trademark charming looks.

“Are you going to tell me what you took earlier today?” He leans in close placing one hand on your hip and swaying slightly in a dancing motion. You deliberate for a second before you hold his chin between your fingers until he’s millimetres away from your face.

“Back to the dishes Mollymauk.” The demeanour drops and you the victor of this little game between the two of you as you take a step back, pick up the cloth once more and continue drying the dishes. The accusatory finger returns and pokes your side.

“Hey, it was a team effort so I have a claim to fifty percent of what you got!” You innocently continue your job, or well, Molly’s job.

“Whatever you say, darling Mollymauk.” You grin as he flicks water at you. 

“You are infuriating.” He exclaims as you finish the dishes and return them to their place.

——————————————————————————

The next few days consisted of Mollymauk continuously bringing up ‘his share’ of the find but you played along innocently talking around in circles. You had plans and when they’re completed you’ll share them but for now, a secret they will remain. He had tried going through your things when unpacking some things for you, something not done secretly but you humoured him and let him try anyway. Coming to the conclusion it wasn’t among your things and definitely not on your person, or he’d definitely have known, he tried to interrogate you to see if you had given it to someone else to hold onto. Gustav, Yasha, Kylre, and even little Toya told him anything. The downside of your little family; they lie for their own if they have to and are experts at keeping their mouths shut. 

You’re going off into town to check on your project. Sneaking away was successful with the help of Yasha keeping Molly busy for the day to the point where he couldn’t get out of it. You’d make sure to pick her up some flowers on the way as a thanks. 

Next stop; the jeweller. You had melted down the gold and taken the ruby out of its setting but you didn’t have the tools to cast anything let alone make moulds so you had to outsource. Luckily the jeweller was more than happy to help you fashion what you wanted made for a generous price, one you were willing to pay to get what you want. Today you got to pick it up. It came out exactly how you had hoped it would. Paying and thanking the jeweller you picked up some flowers and gathered some from the road on your way back. 

Back at the camp you saw Yasha and Molly sitting together while he played with his cards. You approach them handing Yasha the bought bouquet and gathered one.

“Thank you for keeping him busy for a bit, Yasha.” 

“No problem. Thank you for the flowers. They’re very pretty.” She gets up, picks up her sword and goes off to see what else needs to be done leaving the two of you alone. 

“So I have to do dishes for 3 days and clean Desmond’s costume and you get away with a bouquet and some wildflowers? You sure you’re not the one with the devil’s tongue, love?” You give him a wink. 

“I’m off to practice. Can you behave and entertain yourself for the next hour or so?” 

“Of course I can but I make no promises that I will. Have fun.” You kiss his cheek walk backwards and give a little wave as you go towards the big tent to practice your set for the show. 

——————————————————————————

Warm up went well, your usual set too but the new one you’re working on is still a bit tricky to figure out. You don’t fall or anything and your moves are on point but it’s still lacking a sense of consistency and fluidity. You’d have to blame your thoughts being elsewhere. You try for the so-many-eth time you’ve lost count. Cartwheel flip centre stage, pointe landing, bow, aerial flip forward. Good. Entrance on point. Reach stage left, stage right, pirouette pointe spins, silk ropes lower, wrap arm, and up. 

You continue your routine, twisting and turning, dropping and climbing using the silk ropes, swinging around, performing intricate and impossible moves for eyes of the untrained individual. When you’re practically upside down in a split towards the end of your time you watch Mollymauk enter the tent and plop down. You continue your routine regardless making brief eye contact with him. He claps whenever you finish a set like the audience would. 

Final move you drop down from the top of the aerial silks but stop just before you hit the ground. You vault back up until your feet touch the ground and take a bow ending your set. Molly claps again and you’re about to climb up when he rushes over so you halt. 

“So have you decided yet? When I’ll get my share? I’ve been wanting to buy something but am short on coin. I could really use it.” He tries to persuade as you step up close to him. 

“Patience dear. When you’re ready I’ll give you your share.” You give him a light peck that he turns into a deeper kiss. Deciding to use this opportunity you stealthily begin wrapping the silk around his waist. You break the kiss and stroke his cheek. 

“I think I’m ready. Isn’t that worth something?” You laugh at his attempt. You know he isn’t really interested in the gold. His own curiosity is just getting the better of him and making him antsy so this whole thing is more of a game to him than anything else and he still thinks he can be the victor. Little does he know… At the minimum this could be considered a draw, at the most, your win. 

You begin taking steps backward away from him towards the stage entrance of the tent. He steps along with you. At least he does until the silks hold him back. You laugh as Molly looks confused for a second until he realises what you did. 

“Very funny love.” You reach into your pocket producing a couple of gold coins and hold them up in front of him just out of reach. 

“Are you, love? You seem to be a little tied up.” You tease watching him untangle himself. Once he does a comes for you reaching for the gold. You side step out of the way. 

“Try again.” 

“Missed me.” 

“Almost.”

“Oops.” 

You speak through giggles as tries again and again to get the coins but you’re much faster. Having run enough circles you climb up the rope just out of his reach hanging upside down, the coins just inches from his finger tips. 

“We have got to stop meeting like this Mr. Tealeaf. Imagine what people might think.” You gasp sticking out your tongue.

“You and I both know neither of us care what people might think. Now you’ve had your fun. I concede. You win. I admit my defeat.” You take the coins back and put them in the pouch and allow yourself to slide down and right way up again in a split between the two silks. You reach into a different pocket and hold your hands behind your back.

“I said I conceded didn’t I. Or would you prefer me to beg at your feet too?” He jokes as you take your sweet time. 

“You don’t sound opposed.” You blow him a kiss. 

“Never.” He stands close enough for you to lean a hand on his shoulder. 

“Close your eyes Molly. I have a surprise for you.” Molly closes his eyes but you see him peak so you flick his nose. This time he closes his eyes proper. You take out the trinket you had made from the bracelet and ring; a beaded gold chain with a rayed sun and ruby centre stone, and begin attaching it to the other jewellery around his horns. You give him a kiss to signal he can open his eyes. 

“What did you-“ You flick at the new addition to his collection. 

“A little gift. I thought you’d prefer it over the coin. Though if you need the coin you can borrow mine.” Molly inspects the sun and recognises the ruby cut. 

“You little-. Have I ever told you how much I love you?” He peppers you with kisses as you lower yourself out of your split and to the floor. 

“Many times but I don’t mind being reminded of it.” You give him a smug smile as he pulls you in a deep kiss. 

“I love you.”

“Love you too.”

When you pull apart Mollymauk places another kiss to the top of your head and you lean your head against his shoulder living in the moment. You stand in each other’s embrace for what feels like an eternity, yet still an eternity too short. Every second is as valuable as the next so you bathe in each moment you get. You’re you and he’s him and that’s all you’ll ever need. 

[renegadewangs]

Van Zieks - the Examination, part 7

Warnings: SPOILERS for The Great Ace Attorney: Chronicles. Additional warning for racist sentiments uttered by fictional characters (and screencaps to show these sentiments).

Disclaimer: (see Part 1 for the more detailed disclaimer.) - These posts are not meant to be taken as fact. Everything I’m outlining stems from my own views and experiences. If you believe that I’ve missed or misinterpreted something, please let me know so I can edit the post accordingly. -The purpose of these posts is an analysis, nothing more. Please do not come into these posts expecting me to either defend Barok van Zieks from haters, nor expecting me to encourage the hatred. - I’m using the Western release of The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles for these posts, but may refer to the original Japanese dialogue of Dai Gyakuten Saiban if needed to compare what’s said. This also means I’m using the localized names and localized romanization of the names to stay consistent. -It doesn’t matter one bit to me whether you like Barok van Zieks or dislike him. However, I will ask that everyone who comments refrains from attacking real, actual people.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Back to the second game we go for The Return of the Great Departed Soul! (Part one, this is another two-parter case)

Episode 2-3: The Return of the Great Departed Soul

So now, chronologically, six months have passed since The Unspeakable Story. Susato returned to Japan at the end of the first game and hasn't returned yet. Ryu was reprimanded for all the perjury and the questionable McGilded defense, so he had his right to stand in court revoked for now and instead had to focus on studying English law some more. He's done so quite patiently and now he feels he's ready to return. He just needs to get Stronghart's permission first. Meanwhile, the Great Exhibition is happening in Hyde Park, pulling in visitors and scientists from all over the world. Exciting! (S)Holmes hands Ryu a newspaper with an article on the exhibition, talking about how the brighter things shine, the darker the shadows cast behind them. By now, Ryu is fluent enough in (S)Holmes speak to know this means he should flip over the newspaper. There, we find an article of an entirely different sort.

So not only was Van Zieks apparently attacked, Ryu shows horror and concern at the notion. No hard feelings from our wholesome boy! (S)Holmes explains that London's finest criminals often find ways to get acquittals from trials through bribery, threats, sham witnesses... We saw this in McGilded, of course, so we know all too well how dangerous that can get. But since the Reaper and his curse are immune to such tactics, when a ringleader or fellow ends up being 'taken' by the curse, retaliation can occur. So it's established that this isn't the first time Van Zieks has been attacked by a group of thugs. Fortunately, Van Zieks is an “accomplished combatant” who doesn't take these attacks lying down. Unfortunately, the thugs were carrying guns this time. Uhoh.

This warms my heart, it really does. Van Zieks has been a terrible scumbag, but Ryu doesn't think he's gotten his comeuppance at all. He's genuinely concerned for this man and intends to find out more about his condition. So since he was planning to meet with Stronghart and ask for attorney permission anyway, it's the perfect opportunity to also ask about Van Zieks! Iris decides to tag along because she wants to visit the Great Exhibition. Let's shove the newspaper in Stronghart's face as soon as the game allows it.

The phrasing of “number one prosecutor” is interesting, but then... We never learn of any other (living) veteran prosecutors in this country, so of course Van Zieks would be number one. Stronghart says there's no need for concern; Van Zieks would not be so easily dispatched. Street ruffians are no match for him, since he's a very capable fighter. Seems like that sword he carries around isn't just for show after all. As for why he was attacked this time... Well, a month ago Van Zieks prosecuted a leader of a criminal organization. Nice to know he didn't just return to retirement and instead got back to work like a normal person without cherrypicking his cases based on what Ryu's doing. The defendant was acquitted, no doubt thanks to large sums of money being shifted around behind the scenes, but he still met a dramatic end just yesterday during an accident at the Great Exhibition. The man in question was Odie Asman, and the one now being detained on suspicion of murder without a defense attorney is Professor Albert Harebrayne. Albert's case has just been assigned to Ryu, so we're sure to find out more about Asman as we go. As as final touch, Ryu asks Stronghart why he continues to use Van Zieks as a prosecutor. Since the criminals are becoming fearful of the curse and attacking him, it's dangerous to Van Zieks himself. Stronghart explains that he has two reasons: Firstly, Van Zieks is the best prosecutor in the capital, bar none. And secondly, any deaths that have occurred outside the courtrooms after his trials have nothing to do with him. (S)Holmes alluded to the same thing, saying that Van Zieks had a rock-hard alibi for each and every mysterious death.

“So he will continue to prosecute on behalf of the Crown. ...Unless he wishes otherwise, of course.” With that, Stronghart admits he needs to get going since he's already 11 hours late to his next appointment (fsdkjfls). Ryu asks where he might be able to find Van Zieks and is told to head to his office. So even after being told that Van Zieks is just fine, Ryu is still concerned and wants to discuss the matter with the man himself. Let's gooo! Naturally, the first thing out of Van Zieks's mouth when he catches Ryu and Iris in his office is to wonder what the heck they're doing here.

So there's several things of interest in the office, with the game automatically addressing the biggest one: Van Zieks has an apprentice now! It's a mysterious, rigid dude wearing a hood and a mask who is absolutely not familiar to us, nope. We don't know him. Gosh, what a mystery. Van Zieks doesn't seem to know who he is either, instead just referring to him as his apprentice and nothing more.

Ryu sees this as an opening to ask about the attack on the Reaper that was in the newspaper. Van Zieks admits that he too is very interested in the true identity of the Reaper. “Assuming, that is, such a fabled fiend genuinely inhabits our great courtrooms.” The conversation halts for a moment so we can examine the office and this is the best opportunity for humanizing traits we've gotten so far, so LET'S DO IT! The enormous portrait in the back is the first thing to peek at.

Iris says whoever painted it exaggerated the subject's handsomeness, which in turn is reminiscent of Napoleon ordering the painter to make him look more attractive. That's super vain and not an attractive quality in a person at all. I laughed the whole way through that bit of dialogue and Van Zieks, who was in earshot the entire time, gets his feathers ruffled.

When Ryu asks who it is then, Van Zieks doesn't reply. BACKSTORY ALERT! Examining the chalices and bottles on the left leads to Van Zieks explaining the hallowed bottles are filled with the finest grapes from the finest vineyards he visits (so it is grape juice!!!) and he personally oversees the chalices being made by the finest crystal craftsmen in the world. Right, so not only is he filthy stinkin' rich, he's a perfectionist. Iris points out that Van Zieks throws the chalices and bottles around like they're worthless, to which Van Zieks says:

“Before you open your mouth next time, you should consider the poor artisans whose work you defile.”

As it turns out, passive aggression is contagious now. Ryu replies with a “So it's my fault? Silly me! How could I ever have thought otherwise?” and honestly I love that he's got enough guts to say this out loud. Our boy is growing a spine. Examining the wine casks has Ryu and Iris theorize about how there might be dead bodies in there, which once again ruffles Van Zieks's feathers.

Snrk. Examining the big diorama in the middle of the room has Ryu and Iris wonder whether Van Zieks can't go to the Exhibition in person and this is his way of dealing with that, which has Van Zieks snap that it's obviously an investigative aid.  He even has pets of sorts in his office, in the form of a couple of bats hanging from the curtains. Alright, so the game's definitely humanizing this poor man now. No matter how many crazy stories Iris and Ryu come up with about him, there's usually a very innocent explanation to debunk the eerie myths. Something particularly interesting happens when Ryu shows Van Zieks his defense attorney armband. Van Zieks asks what the reason is for showing it to a British prosecutor, to which Ryu admits that he doesn't quite know. Van Zieks is silent for a bit, then says that he understands. “There's merit in reminding yourself of who helped you become what you are today.”

As he says it, he reaches for his prosecutor's badge and if you're aware of the backstory, you'll know he's thinking of Klint. More importantly, this conversation puts Ryu and Van Zieks on the same level. Ryu is always thinking of Kazuma, who 'helped him become who he is today' and the armband signifies this, along with the sword. Similarly, Van Zieks lost someone very close to him and he's walking the path of prosecutor in his brother's memory. Ryu thanks Van Zieks for understanding and it's very significant that Van Zieks understands in the first place. Remember, in the first game he was under the impression that a Japanese person could never understand a British person and vice versa.

Showing Van Zieks the newspaper article has him looking a bit embarrassed, pointing out that a reporter must've been nearby and he'd been careless to let himself get photographed. Either way, all the thugs responsible have already been apprehended. The investigation into Odie Asman's activities meant that their arrests were already imminent anyway, and some hoped to kill Van Zieks before that happened. Much like McGilded, Asman used his wealth to buy his way towards an acquittal in court, but “he got his comeuppance in the end.” Which is strange, right? Very suspicious. Van Zieks asks whether Ryu believes he has some sort of divine ability to make an accident like that happen. Ryu admits that would be far-fetched, and thinks to himself that even if Van Zieks were the Reaper, he'd have to be innocent of this particular death. We also learn that Van Zieks is familiar with Professor Harebrayne, the suspect in the Asman incident. When told that Ryu will be taking on the defense, Van Zieks is shocked.

Van Zieks goes on to explain that he knows Albert quite well. They were at university together. While he's lived in Germany for quite a few years, Albert is actually from a respectable British family. And despite Albert being in the science faculty and Van Zieks in law, they got along quite well. Now he's in pretty hot water for that Asman accident.

Hm. I don't quite know what to make of this reaction. I think what's going on here isn't that Van Zieks is rattled because Albert is being defended by a Japanese person, but because he's being defended by a rookie attorney who was just disbarred for six months for accidentally encouraging perjury, false witness and crime scene tampering in a court of law. Yes, Ryu has won his trials every single time, but it came at a price. Aside from this, there's one other thing Van Zieks knows about Ryu: he'll pursue the truth, no matter what. This means that if Albert indeed didn't succeed at inventing teleportation, it'll be revealed in court because exposing shams is Ryu's whole deal.

We learn that Van Zieks will be the one to prosecute Albert tomorrow, which is curious to say the least. Ryu wants to know why he'd do something like that, with Iris pointing out that so long as the Reaper is the prosecutor, Albert is doomed. Van Zieks replies that he's a Crown prosecutor and a mortal like any other; he's no demigod. In other words, he doesn't believe the curse to be a real curse. Iris points out that everyone who's been prosecuted by Van Zieks has died (which is already objectively wrong), to which Van Zieks replies that he usually prosecutes the vilest wretches of society.

… Harsh. Ryu points out that Soseki wasn't a vile wretch though, with Iris chiming in that Gina's also turned her life around and she's working very hard now. Van Zieks admits that things have changed ever since meeting Ryu- which of course has to do with Van Zieks's need to face Ryu in court even in mediocre trials rather than pursue his usual corrupted targets- but the point is that if any of those vile wretches died in mysterious circumstances, it was “at the hand of their own kind”, not Van Zieks's. So basically, he believes that they were killed because they were dubious people engaged with dubious activities, not because of the Reaper's curse. Not only that, but ever since the rumors of the Reaper began, the number of serious crimes in London has decreased significantly. Even the most hardened criminals can be made fearful of their lives. Therefore, if his pseudonym of the Reaper can serve a useful purpose, he'll “adopt it gladly and with honour”. Ryu repeats that which he already told Stronghart; that it's putting Van Zieks in danger.

He really is a prosecutor on the edge with nothing to lose, huh. So what Van Zieks is basically saying is that he doesn't care if he dies, so long as he spends the rest of his life serving the 'useful purpose' of carrying the Reaper moniker to intimidate the vilest of society. But is that really all there is to it? (Spoilers: It's not)

There's a bit more talk about the mysterious apprentice here, with Van Zieks explaining the man was placed in his care under Stronghart's orders. He's wearing a mask on Stronghart's orders and also doesn't speak to anyone from outside the office on Stronghart's orders. HM. Van Zieks claims that Stronghart isn't one for “meaningless follies”, therefore he must have a good reason. This implies that Van Zieks believes in Stronghart's judgment almost blindly. To round up the conversation, Van Zieks asks about “that Nipponese man. The one arrested twice in succession six months ago. With the stoop. And the moustache. And the jitters.” Looks super offensive at first glance, but I gotta admit, after six months I wouldn't remember Soseki's name either. Better to describe him than to guess the name and get it wrong. Still though, just because it's not super offensive doesn't mean it's not offensive. Just saying “the one you defended six months ago” would've done the trick. Either way, Ryu says he's doing just fine and a letter from him arrived by post just the other day.

So this is interesting. Earlier, Van Zieks claimed in his own words that he doesn't believe in the curse and those who died had it coming to them, but he's still inquiring after Soseki. Perhaps not so much because he's worried about Soseki himself, but because he's curious whether this man has successfully escaped the curse so far. He would know that for a fact about Gina, but the only way to verify Soseki's status is to ask Ryu about it.

Time to leave this glass cage of exposition and meet the defendant in person! Albert spouts a whole lot of dialogue about how his machine is treated differently depending on whether the case is treated as an accident or as murder. If it's murder, it can be examined up close and that's what Albert doesn't want. It has to be treated as an accident so that it'll be protected from prying eyes through The Special Dispensation for Scientific Equipment Act (wow that's a mouthful). Of course, that's not entirely what we're interested in. Let's ask about his friendship with Van Zieks! Ryu asks what he was like back in his university days and the answer surprises him.

HAH, wonderfully written exchange, this one. Albert goes to describe him as “the little darling of the Van Zieks family, with all its great aristocratic origins”. So Van Zieks has some very noble blood in him. We could've already guessed this from his title of Lord, but apparently it's a bit more serious. I could derail here with wild theories about his family originating from the Netherlands and having migrated to the UK around the time the first king of the Netherlands, Willem I van Oranje Nassau, rose to power in 1813. Willem changed the way nobility works to some degree in the country and not all noble families would've agreed with his way of doing things. But anyway, point is, Van Zieks is a big shot. Albert says that it was kind of a shock to him when he came back to Britain and discovered 'what Van Zieks had become'. He heard that there was 'a very big event' that completely changed Van Zieks after his graduation, but doesn't know what it was because he was already in Germany at the time. So here we have some more traces of that backstory and we have enough pieces to start sticking some things together. We know Van Zieks was once betrayed by a friend and we now know he was a very modest, pleasant gentleman when he was young. Whatever happened must've been very harsh indeed to turn him into such a sour lemon. Either way, Albert doesn't seem to know yet that Van Zieks will be the prosecutor and Ryu doesn't have the heart to tell him.

So let's investigate the crime scene! Here, it's confirmed that Gina Lestrade is indeed just fine and now in training to become a detective with Gregson. Cute! So eventually we get to talk to Gregson about Van Zieks and how he's acquainted with Albert. Gregson is overdramatically shocked to find out that the two of them are old buddies.

Remember when Van Zieks took a five year hiatus and nobody had to mysteriously die from the Reaper's curse? Those were the days, eh Gregson? Now he's even prosecuting his own friends willy-nilly. Gregson states he has no idea what goes on in Van Zieks's head  (a sentiment we've heard before in 1-4) and goes on to bring up the newspaper article about Van Zieks being attacked. When told that our good old pal the Reaper is just fine, Gregson utters a very uncomfortable “glad to hear it” which honestly had me wondering whether he'd preferred Van Zieks to die.

Up until a certain someone gets killed and stuffed into a suitcase, I'd reckon. Gregson says that Van Zieks is a top class prosecutor, but not even he can always push the right verdict through. “Sometimes justice can't win.” Gregson explains that naturally, Scotland Yard suspected Van Zieks at first and assumed he was taking matters into his own hands. There was a very thorough investigation and the outcome was that Van Zieks was in no way related to the mysterious deaths. So that's three people now who all insist Van Zieks couldn't possibly have committed the murders. Gregson says he's willing to stake his reputation on it, even. Of course, Gregson would know for sure, wouldn't he? But the narrative is telling us over and over that Van Zieks himself isn't the Reaper, with even Van Zieks himself implying he'd like to know just who the Reaper is. There's a conspiracy happening that Van Zieks is the centerpiece of, with the narrative really pushing the mystery aspect of it. The writers want us to care about the truth of the Reaper for sure.

OOOH that's meta! Ryu, being nosy and overly invested in Van Zieks's life, asks Gregson whether he knows about the 'incident' which changed Van Zieks after graduation.

Okay he clearly knows. Even a first time player can tell from this single reaction that Gregson's lying. The mystery thickens! At the end of the conversation, when Gregson's gone off, Iris recommends asking (S)Holmes about it instead. Safe bet, since (S)Holmes continuously knows more than he's letting on. To the house of wax we go! When asked about it, it's clear that he does know something (and is described as suddenly clamming up), but before he can explain there's a distraction in the form of Madam Tusspells and we have to sit through a mostly-unrelated Joint Reasoning segment. It leads into a conversation about a mass murderer known as the Professor. Ten years ago, there was a series of murders which rocked the capital right around the time Van Zieks graduated from university. Five people were killed before the man was caught and executed. This fifth victim was Klint van Zieks, Barok's older brother.

I really, really dislike this phrasing because Van Zieks was already studying law to begin with. He'd just graduated as a prosecutor; his brother's death had nothing to do with him pursuing that path. Anyway...

OOOH that's meta! So remember way back in the first essay when I said the backstory is optional? Well, here it is. The Great Ace Attorney is going all in for it. It's being tied to the ongoing plot, just as pretty much all the main prosecutor backstories are. Edgeworth's backstory is tied to Von Karma being the final boss, Godot's backstory is tied to the Fey lineage, Klavier's backstory (I say this lightly) is tied to Phoenix's disgrace... Now Van Zieks's story is tied to the serial killer who ruined so many lives a decade ago. And technically, we already have all the puzzle pieces we need for the next twist; we know Van Zieks was betrayed by a Japanese person who was his friend. So really, we can now say with absolutely certainty that the man arrested and executed back then was a Japanese buddy of Van Zieks.

The investigation segment is pretty much over, but the game has one more scene for us. This is something Ryunosuke won't witness, but the scriptwriters deemed it so important that we're ignoring Ryu to focus solely on the two characters involved. And cutting away from our main character is something that usually doesn't happen in Ace Attorney. Even when characters like Phoenix or Ryu are out of commission for whatever reason, a new 'main character' takes over for a second and we see everything from their point of view. I can think of only one other scene viewed without Ryu there, which happened in 1-5 just before Susato had to leave London. So what we have here is a very private moment between Van Zieks and Albert.

AWWW... The scenes in the office were great and all, but this right here is perhaps the most humanizing exchange we'll ever see with Barok. The reason for that, I think, is precisely because Ryu isn't there. He's alone with an old friend now, which means he can let his guard down more than he usually would. Even so, it's worth noting here that he doesn't look directly at Albert. He stands with his back to him the entire time and I'm certain this is intentional, because they could just as easily have rotated him into that sideways view that's often used in dialogue and courtroom scenes. He made his way down to the gaol to speak with his friend after ten long years, but is reluctant to look right at him. The conversation itself feels rather distant as well. Albert is delighted to see Van Zieks, but the sentiment isn't returned vocally. Van Zieks points out that they're meeting again “in prison of all places” and that the court will decide Albert's fate tomorrow. When Van Zieks raises a warning, Albert says he already knows his friend will be prosecuting and doesn't appear bothered at all at first. He does try to raise a question in the form of “Are you really...?”, but ultimately drops it and says that he knows Van Zieks has his best interests at heart. Van Zieks says he wouldn't entrust the trial of his friend to anyone else, and Albert thanks him for that. So my first guess upon taking in that dialogue is that Albert wonders for a brief moment whether Van Zieks really is the Reaper/really is cursed, only to shake it off because he considers the man his friend. Van Zieks seems to know it's risky to prosecute Albert, but deems it more important to handle the case himself than to let someone else do it. This, as we learn later, has to do with the Special Dispensation for Scientific Equipment Act and the protection of Albert's scientific secrets.

Next day, we're at the Old Bailey! In the defendant lobby, Ryu is once again told by Albert that the true goal to aim for in this trial is to protect his scientific hypothesis. So hypothetically speaking, the ideal outcome here would be to prove the death was accidental and that the kinesis was a success at the same time. (S)Holmes and Iris don't believe Albert's theory to be sound though, instead saying it couldn't possibly be done. In the courtroom, Ryu faces off against Van Zieks once more for the first time in six months! The judge is quick to point out that Odie Asman is a name familiar to him; a man who was prosecuted only a month ago by Van Zieks. When he asks whether this death is the work of the Reaper, Van Zieks instead describes it as “divine retribution”, but also “a direct result of the actions of the accused, Professor Albert Harebrayne”. The prosecution asserts that the instantaneous kinesis demonstration was a success. He himself can't say for certain whether it's a sound theory, but it's being investigated by the British government since it was deemed to have potential and the prosecution's case aligns with the notion that there was indeed instantaneous- You know what? Let's just call it teleportation. That's easier to type.

Unfortunately, Van Zieks doesn't want to follow the accident angle. Instead, he outright accuses his old friend of murdering Asman using the totally-functional-teleportation-machine-which-totally-worked to be the sole benefactor of a scientific grant. Harsh. Very harsh. I don't entirely understand why he didn't pursue the accident angle instead, but then, I don't quite know enough about law. My guess is that as the prosecution, he's not allowed to. Scotland Yard found enough evidence at the scene to substantiate a murder plot, especially that damning screwdriver that Ryu so graciously handed to Gregson, so that's what the prosecution has to go with, maybe? It's up to the defense attorney to debunk that down to an accident, then, so in essence Van Zieks is counting on Ryu to 'defeat him' and prove the murder aspect wrong. It would align with the conversation Albert had with Van Zieks in prison, where he said that 'it was a terrible accident and the young Eastern man acting as his defence assured him that he can prove it'.

So speaking of that screwdriver, Albert tries to discredit it himself by saying that if he had stabbed Asman on the stage, there would've been a whole lot of blood. Van Zieks pours himself a glass of wine and 'congratulates' his friend on a good rebuttal.

“Here's to you, Albert!”

Albert laughs it off sheepishly, saying he's nothing compared to “Barok” (awww, first name basis), but a chalice is immediately flung. Van Zieks says Albert neglected to mention one crucial possibility, which is that the lack of blood is explained by the notion that the screwdriver remained in the victim's chest to plug the wound. Therefore, since the demonstration was totally a success, the screwdriver was teleported along with the victim. Ryu thinks to himself that he had no idea the victim had been stabbed and wonders whether Van Zieks kept that information to himself to keep the upper hand on purpose. This whole thing jars me a little, because the screwdriver is brought up relatively early in the trial during the very first cross-examination. Is not mentioning it during the opening statement and waiting for Gregson to bring it up three minutes later really the same as 'keeping it to himself to gain the upper hand'?

Either way, Ryu counters, saying that the screwdriver was found at the stage and therefore didn't teleport at all, with Gregson serving as an official witness to this location. It's pretty clear from the next dialogue that Gregson never told Van Zieks where that screwdriver was found.

“That you contravened the Special Dispensation for Scientific Equipment Act?”

Gregson is immediately up in arms, but it's fine. There was no investigation needed to find a screwdriver lying in plain sight. So now Ryu decides to tighten the screws. He claims that if the prosecution can't explain the inconsistency (the screwdriver being found on the stage but no blood being there so clearly it must've plugged the wound), the testimony is unreliable. Van Zieks doesn't reply and Ryu thinks to himself that he looks stumped, but uh...

He just looks annoyed to me. The person to object next is not Van Zieks, it's Albert. He says that metal can't be teleported with the machine, so it only makes sense the screwdriver stayed behind and there's no inconsistency at all. Van Zieks suggests: “Clearly we should hear the accused's explanation. … Or should I say, this brilliant scientist's explanation?” And I think here in these two sentences we have the crux of the issue. Albert wants to be treated as a legitimate scientist above all else. Even if that means he's branded a murderer, so long as his hypothesis is protected and the confidentiality stands, it makes no difference to him. This was likely discussed with Van Zieks the night before as well. Albert is apparently willing to die for the sake of his scientific principles and... Well. I'm sure Van Zieks can understand. He's willing to die for the sake of serving the Reaper purpose. In a way, this means the defendant and the prosecution are in cahoots together, which is another first in Ace Attorney history. The two of them are fighting to keep the hypothesis of teleportation intact and if Ryu manages to prove that it was an accidental death, then great! Unfortunately, the second that screwdriver was discovered, the chances of that became slim to none. It was murder, plain and simple. On a sidenote, I found this little gem:

I'm counting this as humanization, because the underlying sentiment here is that despite his haughty better-than-thou attitude, Van Zieks is still friends with someone so very scatterbrained, his name is forgotten sometimes. Even Ryu is taken aback by the purity of the friendship.

Heh heh... Time to cause some more havoc by informing the court that Asman's metal-rimmed glasses were still on his face and since Albert already said metal can't be teleported, his hypothesis is a load of tosh. The jurors go up in arms about it, saying the machine should be stripped down and examined. The game gives Ryu the option to either raise an objection or 'wait and see', but this is another one of those fake choices. Waiting and seeing just leads to a bit more dialogue between the jurors before Ryu steps in of his own accord. He says Albert would have no reason to build such an elaborate fake machine and put on a public display for murder, but Van Zieks counters with the very good reason: Money. The jurors are even more outraged, calling him a fake scientist who's only in it for the guineas, and Albert begs them to believe that his science is built upon a sound hypothesis. Van Zieks comes in to 'save the day' (sort of).

“The fact remains that the victim was transported instantly to the Crystal Tower. Which means that the experiment... was a success.”

And I gotta say, this next bit is just very enjoyable to me. The way it's written is so great.

HEH HEH.... Van Zieks has some more witnesses to summon who saw the incident from some 'very special seats', but let's end the essay here for now and pick it back up next time!

[musing-and-music]

I don't want your sacrifice

Royai Week - Day 1: King's/Queen's gambit

Rating T

Roy Mustang/Riza Hawkeye, Jean Havoc

Hurt/Comfort, Physical Hurt, Unresolved Romantic Tension

1299 words

Summary: The mission is simple. They must enter the house and arrest the boss of the organisation. Riza does her job, but Colonel Mustang isn't pleased with the outcome.

Read on AO3 / Read on ffnet / Read in French / Link to the series

Two men guard the door when Riza approaches them.

Two men are laying on the ground after she knocks them on the spot.

Havoc follows and ties their hands and legs. Mustang walks to his subordinates, his fingers ready to snap if any threat appears in the deep night.

The mission is simple. The house is the base of a criminal organisation that’s at the origin of many corruption and murders among some high-ranked people in the military and industry in the Eastern region. Thanks to hard work and long hours of tailing, team Mustang has gathered enough evidence of the organisation's involvement in the murders and bribery.

“Okay,” Riza whispers as Havoc unlocks the door. “We must find the chief as quickly and discreetly as possible. Do use your weapon only if necessary, we need him alive,” she recalls the instructions to the men.

Both men nod and they enter the building in silence. The main hall is barely lit by an orange lamp on a side table, and the carpet under their feet muffles the sound of their steps. They head to the stairs and begin to climb carefully. They’re almost at the top when an armed man appears in the hallway. He freezes for a second before he aims his revolver at them. But Riza moves faster and bolts upward, knocking him in one blow. The man collapses on the floor and the trio steps over him, walking in silence to the room they know from the plan studied beforehand.

There’s light under the door and in the peace of the night Riza hears the scratch of a pen on paper, sighs and grumbles. Their target is here. They exchange a glance and the Colonel knocks on the door.

“Peters? Do you have news about the operation?”

The team has learned about said operation and jumped on the occasion when the house would be nearly empty to launch their own.

Mustang opens the door and steps into the room, flanked by Havoc and Riza. “Herbert von Bernstein? You’re under arrest for corruption, murder, thief and membership of conspiracy. Do not resist and no harm will be done to you.”

The man at the desk rises and faces them. He smirks at them. “Colonel Mustang, if I’m not mistaken. I was waiting for you.”

“Were you?” Mustang’s voice copies von Bernstein’s mocking tone. Riza glances at her superior and finds his lips turned into a sly smile. “I bet my reputation precedes me. Anyway, raise your hands and let us proceed to your arrest.”

The Colonel steps forward, and von Bernstein raises one hand. The other slams onto the paper on the desk and Riza gets a glimpse of a transmutation circle. How foolish they are not to think their target can be an alchemist? The only thing she can think about is that she must protect her superior. She pushes him onto the floor and a sudden sharp pain pierces through her left thigh. She muffles a cry.

“Hawkeye!” She hears Mustang and Havoc shout.

Her leg weakens under her weight, but she doesn’t care. Not now. “Havoc! Get him!” She turns to the door they have left open and shoots the man who passes the threshold at this moment. There’s a snap, and she sees from the corner of her eye the paper turning into ashes, then the wooden spear that has been created from the desk and pierced her skin and muscles burns and disappears.

That was evidence, she thinks. Then her legs cannot support her anymore and she stumbles, only to be caught by two strong arms. Mustang helps her to sit. “Havoc, bring von Bernstein outside, the guys must be waiting with the other suspects,” he tells the Second Lieutenant, who leaves with the cuffed man.

Suddenly, the pain is almost unbearable. Riza has thought she’s immune to pain, after her back, twice, and being shot at least three times on duty. She feels confused, and only one thought manages to get through the fog in her mind.

“Was that point poisoned?”

“What? No, I don’t think it was.” Mustang looks at her, and suddenly she’s looking at the boy fresh from the academy who’s seeing her tattoo for the first time. He’s bearing a horrified look in his eyes, he’s frowning like the day he’s burned her back, and his mouth bends downward in a concerned wince. “Who would poison his own desk only to use it as a murderous weapon? Hold on, Hawkeye, I’ll get something for you.”

He’s back in no time, kneels beside her, and his hands press a thick cloth on her thigh. She can’t see his face, only his black hair, and her mind is a mess.

“That was reckless of you, Lieutenant.” His voice is low, but she catches the words.

“It was necessary, sir,” she replies through her teeth with all the control she can hold. “I can’t do my job if you’re not here. I had to make a choice, and that’s what I chose.”

“That was a reckless gambit,” he says nevertheless. He firmly ties a band around the cloth and her wound, and his warm hands leave her. Only for his eyes to meet hers. He’s worried, she realizes. He’s never told her he cares about her, but now she knows he does. “Hawkeye, however necessary you’ll find your sacrifice, I don’t want it to happen. It’s not easy to get hurt, and nobody gets used to it. You know it more than anyone.”

She gulps. He’s right. She knows how hard it is to get back to one’s feet after a wound. And he knows it too. He’s witnessed her at her lowest, and she has too. “I did my job,” she says, brushing away the sudden heat in her chest.

“And I thank you for that, Hawkeye. But…” his voice is barely more than a whisper. “I can’t lose you because of your job, Riza.”

Roy’s hand brushes her cheek, and a sudden burst of emotion blooms in her. Her thigh is still painful, she knows she won’t be able to walk before some time, but all this disappears under his gaze. He’s looking at her as if she’s the most precious thing in his life. And she is. It was only once, after she joined his team, but he told her his feelings. He hasn’t expected any answer, but she’s seen in his eyes the depth and the truth of his feelings. And now she wants to tell him hers. It’s not the best place, the best conditions, the best time. But she wants to do it anyway.

Her eyes lock to his. “I don’t want to lose you either. That’s why I’ll keep making gambits to save your life, even if I risk my own,” she declares, hoping that she can convey all she’s feeling through her eyes. Because no matter how much she wants to tell him, she can’t. “And don’t you dare risk your life for mine. You’re too precious for this country to die so early.”

Roy stifles a laugh. “I don’t want to be scolded by you for that, you know it.” He smiles before putting back his professional mask when two paramedics enter the room. “She’s got her thigh pierced by a wood thorn. Be careful with her. She won’t tell you it’s painful, but I know it is.”

Riza glares at him. He knows her too much. And he knows she’ll do the same thing every time if it can save him.

When the paramedics move her to a stretcher, she winces, holding into the memory of his eyes on her and the warmth of his hand on her cheek. For that she’ll keep fighting for him only and protecting him.

[cowboy-anon]

Weston’s Wild West Whump - 2

I DID IT! I FINISHED IT. Holy cow. XD Anyway, it’s a bit of a longer piece. Today, we learn a bit more about Weston, we’re introduced to Graham’s men Dee and Sunders, and we discover Graham is not someone you want to mess with. Enjoy! :D

CW : Animal corpse used as a metaphor, bribery mention, broken bones (and the symptoms that accompany them), concussion, cowboy shenanigans, gun mention and threat (not real), hogtie threat (not yet realized), knife mention, mild cursing, somewhat degrading language, thieving mention, touch of low self esteem, vaguely implied unsafe home life.

(I’m new to content warnings, so if I’ve missed something, please don’t hesitate to let me know! :D )

Tagging: @milk-carton-whump, @unicornscotty, @abitefullofwhump, @alliecat5594, @ihaveacrushonjester (Let me know if you want to be added or removed from this list!

2 - Good Ol’ Righteous Cowboy

Weston has only met Graham twice before this. Once, last week when he came to investigate the ranch’s missing cattle. “Sheriff Graham Miller,” he’d introduced himself. The way he’d carried himself, charming and self-assured, Weston was sure the culprit would get theirs, and if Johnson was lucky, he’d get his cattle back before Weston moved on.

And then Weston found that handkerchief caught on the barbed wire fence, “G.M.” embroidered on it in a stunning shade of blue. As far as leads went, it was pretty thin, but that blue thread and those initials—there was no way it could be a coincidence.  

Which is what led him to his second encounter, dressed in Johnson’s clothes, pretending to be a wealthy man in search of some cattle for his father’s failing ranch. Of course, Weston was nowhere near wealthy, and his father’s ranch, he’d remembered with a shudder, was doing just fine, but wearing Johnson’s Sunday best, he sure as hell looked the part. 

But with Graham being the one to show him around, he could only see so much. Weston was walked past rolling pastures and prize-winning cattle, sure, but no proof. 

Which is what led him to his final attempt at getting it, not exactly a third encounter but one that led to it—this one—kneeling in front of two of Graham’s men, a lasso tight around his middle and with his right ankle throbbing painfully with every heartbeat. 

Despite their lack of history, when one of Graham’s men pistol whips him across the face, it feels strangely personal. Weston can feel the malice, sees the satisfaction on the left’s face when his own snaps sharply to the right. The shock of it almost overwhelms the burn. Almost.

Weston stays there for a second, hunched over with his eyes squeezed shut, reminding himself to breathe, letting out a pained groan instead. Another breath, this time bracing. He shakes off the stinging pain and rights himself with a tight lipped smile. 

His tongue darts out over his bottom lip, tastes blood. Yeah, he’s sporting a split lip now. He winces at the pain, more an ache than a burn now, and blinks back involuntary tears. 

When Weston raises his eyes again, the man has his revolver in hand, arm pulled back to strike him again. God, he hates to admit it, but he flinches, tucking his face into his shoulder, waiting for the blow.

He hears the grunt of effort, expects his view to whip right again in a burst of pain when he hears, “Stop playing with him, Dee. Get his legs.” When Weston doesn’t feel the strike, he allows himself a glance in the direction of the voice. 

It’s the man on the right, face stony with purpose. 

The man on the left, “Dee” Weston assumes, shoots the man a venomous glare, then turns to look at Graham, who’s digging into the saddle bag of one of the horses. 

Graham’s not paying attention when the butt of the gun slams into Weston’s temple. 

Weston hits the ground hard, landing heavily on his shoulder, cheek pressed into hot rocky dirt. His head, oh God. He gasps against the blinding pain, eyes skewed shut as he gapes like a fish out of water. 

“Dee.” Between the ringing in his ears and his ragged breaths, he hears it, a low reprimand but not a surprised one. 

Weston forces his eyes open to look at the two men now looming over him, but he ends up shutting them again. When did the sun get so damn bright? 

“You wanted me to get his feet, Sunders.” Sunders. That’s got to be the other man’s name. And—wait, they’re still talking. Focus, Weston, focus! “ —think he was gonna let us tie him up that easy? Graham likes Randy clueless. The sooner he’s tied up, the less questions we gotta answer. Get me?” 

Randy? Who the hell’s Randy? 

Weston lies there for what feels like ages before the more important thoughts make their way back to him. Graham’s here. Dee and Sunders, they’re going to tie him up. His ankle’s shot, he’s got that lasso around him that’s not going to let him go anywhere. 

And all three of them are armed. Great. 

Weston worms his arm out from under him and eases himself up until he’s propped on an elbow. For a moment, the world spins. Forget cotton. His head’s full of sloshing water, distorting and disorienting and all too heavy for what it is. 

He wants to lie back down, let whatever’s going to happen happen. He’ll feel those ropes dig into the tender skin of his wrists and bite into his swelling ankle. Will they make him walk? No, not with a hogtie. He’ll more likely be draped over the back of a horse and taken back to the ranch, where— 

Where what? Who knows what’ll happen back at that ranch? And what the hell is he thinking, lying back down and giving in? He shakes his head with a sneer. If he’s going to that no good sheriff’s ranch, he’s going angry, not complacent. 

So he pushes himself up until he’s sitting again, lightheadedness be damned, and squinting at Graham’s back, legs stretched out in front of him, he calls, “You needed three guys to get a hold of me, Graham?” It comes out a groan, nowhere near as snarky as he wants it to be, but it’s dripping with sarcasm nonetheless—and based on the smile that sneaks over the sheriff’s face, it catches his attention. “Why, I’m flattered. ‘Course, I probably should’ve expected as much.”

Dee’s at eye level in an instant. He grabs a fistful of Weston’s shirt and jerks him forward, lips curled up in a snarl. “Why, you—” 

But Graham just laughs from his spot by the horses. 

Dee’s eyes, still shining with murder, flicker with confusion, and Weston’s gaze snaps over to Graham, doubled over with warm, genuine laughter. What the hell?

The grip on Weston’s shirt wavers as the seconds tick by. Finally, Weston clears his throat and says, “Sure, I find your stupidity funny, too, but—” 

Graham’s gun is trained on him before he can finish. 

“Dee,” Graham says, motioning with his revolver. It’s a command. Dee barely spares Weston a smug grin before pulling his hands from Weston’s clothes and stepping into place between Graham and Sunders.

Graham squares his shoulders and, accent thicker than Weston’s ever heard it, he says, “What’s funny is you talking about stupidity.” 

Weston knows he should be scared, and he is. He feels it, unadulterated fear, making its way to his shaking fingers, twisting knots deep in his stomach, watching him stare down the blackened barrel of this gun, telling him, Give up, give in. Maybe he’ll let you walk away. 

It’s so damn tempting.

But Weston has already given in to too many people like Graham with the promise of walking away too many times, so despite everything, he balls his trembling hands into fists, meets Graham’s eyes with a pained smirk, and says, “Please, do tell.” 

Graham grins. 

“Good ol’ righteous Weston Casey.” He shrugs past Dee and Sunders and makes his way towards Weston, digits lazily fingering his gun’s trigger, blue eyes scanning him and the barely concealed shock on his face. “Yeah, I’ve heard about you. Hardworking, dependable, new in town. You rolled on in here just last month, didn’t you?”

Weston doesn’t answer. Instead, he changes the subject. “What do you mean, ‘righteous’?” 

Graham stops by Weston’s feet and sits back on his haunches, eyes trailing idly over his body. “I mean your absurd morals,” he says. “I’d heard about it before, but I saw it clear as day when I came to Johnson’s ranch yesterday. You were angry for him.” He laughs to himself, toying with the trigger thoughtlessly. 

But the hammer’s still standing tall by the frame, not pulled back. So the gun’s not cocked yet. It never was. That’s good news. 

“It’s a damn shame,” Graham continues. He’s looking at Weston’s face again, a tiny knowing smile on his lips. Did Weston’s realization show? “The bribe I would’ve paid you—beyond generous. Not that you would’ve taken it.”

“What’s this got to do with stupidity?” Weston cuts in. He’s stalling at this point, he knows it, but he needs something—anything—to distract him from the fear bubbling just beneath his surface. 

“Well, we’re talking about you, aren’t we?” Another flick over the trigger as Graham’s tone shifts, almost amused. “A good, quiet stranger rolls into town, surely minding his own business when something not quite right goes down. A few cows go missing. Nothing special, nothing new. Cattle go missing all the time around these parts. But being him, he decides he wants to investigate.” 

Graham’s voice darkens then. Weston forces himself to be still under Graham’s scrutiny as his eyes travel over his left leg, then to his right. Then to his right ankle, swelling like a cow’s carcass in the summer sun under his jeans. “And he finds out a little too much,” Graham continues. “And he gets in a little too deep. And he decides he wants to do the right thing. Which, in itself, is not a stupid thought.” Graham glances back up at Weston. “But his—your—morals, they get in the way of some really great opportunities. A guy like you would fit into this cattle rustling operation real well.” 

At that, Dee’s expression visibly sours behind Graham, but he stays quiet. Smart or scared?

“I know you won’t take the bribe,” Graham says lowly, “but how about a fair trade? Your work for my money, plain and simple.”  

Weston scoffs to himself. His heart is in his throat pounding so loud he can hear it, but it’s not even a question. He meets Graham’s eyes through his mop of hair and says, “Over my dead body.” 

He means it. 

Graham stares at him, and for a second Weston thinks he might burst out laughing again. But he just smiles, more to himself than Weston, seemingly thinking something over. 

He tucks his gun back into his holster, shoots Weston a big grin. And then his gloved hands shoot out and twist his right foot hard.

Weston’s broken bones in the past. He’s felt that wet snap of the initial break. He’s felt the numb shock before his brain catches up with his body. He’s felt that nauseating pain that accompanies every jostle and movement of the site.

But he’s never felt anything like this.

Weston shrieks, white hot blinding, agonizing pain that he feels all the way to his fingertips in sharp, involuntary spasms. Overwhelming, all encompassing. In this moment, Weston is pain. 

Too much, too much, too much! It’s blaring in his head like a siren, that fear. His face goes hot, then cold. Tears run down his cheeks, but he’s too focused on gritting his teeth against another wail to care.

“See, I gave you a chance just then,” Graham says over his cries. “I offered you a job, nice and respectable like, and you turned it down—and for what?” He leans in close to Weston, a hand still twisted in the fabric of his pant leg. “A few meaningless morals? If you ask me, that’s awful stupid of you.”

Graham wrenches his ankle again, and even though Weston knows what to expect, it’s just as awful as the first time—worse even. Bone grinding on bone, leather on swollen, hypersensitive, hot-to-the-touch flesh. 

He throws his head back with a broken sob. “G-Graham—!” Weston doesn’t know why he says that. He doesn’t even realize it’s him saying it, not in his current state, concussed and half delirious with pain. 

But he definitely hears “Yes, Weston?” through the haze, barely registers Graham’s hand leaving his leg. 

The twisting’s stopped, Weston knows it, but the pain hasn’t. He still feels it, twisting, twisting, the rough seams of Graham’s leather gloves on swollen skin. And he feels dread, prominent, telling him this isn’t the worst to come, not by a long shot, that only makes it hurt worse.

He hasn’t felt a dread like this since his last month at the family ranch.

As the worst of the pain melts from his limbs, just enough for it to be bearable,  his wits start to come back to him, and it occurs to him that he cried out Graham’s name in an agony-induced panic. Then Graham had asked him a question: “Yes, Weston?” His stomach drops at the thought. 

What had he been looking to say? Would he have begged? “G-Graham, please stop! Please!” Or would he have bargained? “G-Graham, I won’t tell a soul, I swear!” Maybe, Weston realizes with a thick swallow, he would’ve accepted Graham’s terrible offer, helping steal cattle for the man he’s grown to hate in the last twenty-four hours to save himself. “G-Graham, I… I’ll do it.”

Graham had called him righteous.

Weston is a coward. 

“Weston, you wanted to say something to me?” Graham is grinning, blue eyes glimmering with mirth. He wants to know what he was going to say just as much as Weston does.

Weston stares at his feet. His ankle is back to that constant throb, but the muscles in his foot and calf are still twitching and seizing from Graham’s rough hands. “Yeah, I did,” he says quietly. “I wanted to tell you, ‘Graham…’”  

He shakes his head, sets his jaw, meets Graham’s eyes with a steely gaze. And then he spits at him, fueled by what little fight he has left, “‘Graham, get your damn hands off of me.’”

Righteous. Coward. 

Liar.

Graham stares at him for a long moment before rising to his feet, that stupid smug grin still on his face when he looks back down at him. 

“I like you, Weston. I really do,” he says, vaguely apologetic, “and you’ve made a lot of stupid decisions today that I could forgive you for. But that decision you made just now, making an enemy out of me? Real stupid.” 

Graham turns on his heel and shoulders his way past Dee and Sunders again, only this time he stops between them and, in a voice just loud enough for Weston to hear, he says to them, “Now, I know I told you two to get him trussed up.” The look Graham gives Weston is chilling. “So tell me, what’s he still doing with his hands free?” Graham casts a final glance at Weston before Dee and Sunders make their way towards him for the second time.

This time, they don’t hesitate. Sunders pockets his knife, walks behind Weston, and tugs his arms behind his back, holding them together by the wrists. “Grab the rope from my horse, Dee,” he calls.

But Dee is standing by Weston’s feet, smiling a malicious smile. “His legs first,” Dee says. 

Weston can’t see Sunders’s face, but he can hear the exasperation in his voice from behind him when he replies, “There’s no way he’s going anywhere on that ankle now.”

“I know that.” Dee crouches down by Weston’s feet, eyes running down the length of his right leg. “But I want to start with his legs.”

Sunders sighs and drops Weston’s arms back to his sides, already aching at the joints from the position. 

“I’ll hold him down.” 

Sunders takes his spot next to Dee and puts pressure on Weston’s thighs, holding him still while Dee goes for Sunders’s rope. If Weston didn’t know better, he’d think they were trying to help him. 

But he does know better, and he knows their intentions are anything but pure. 

He could shove them off, Weston realizes from his spot on the ground. He could, and if he tried, he could get a good solid kick on Dee when he gets back if he uses his left leg. He’d sure as hell deserve it.

But watching Dee take his place by his feet again, Weston doesn’t. Smart or scared, righteous or cowardly—Weston doesn’t know anymore.  He just glares at Dee. 

Dee smiles back at him. “You got him, Sunders?”

“I’ve got him.”

“Good.”

Dee feels the rope in his hands, tests its strength with a few sharp pulls. Then he turns to look at Graham. 

Graham nods at him from by the horses. 

When Dee turns back to Weston, he’s grinning from ear to ear, eyes twinkling with mischief. 

“I’m gonna enjoy this.”

[nothingunrealistic]

review roundup: billions 6x02 “lyin’ eyes”

taylor’s trying to change their whole approach to life and work! rian’s trying to balance her loyalty to taylor and her own ambition! winston plays among us! what did the critics make of it all?

New York Times: ‘Billions’ Season 6, Episode 2 Recap: No One Is Safe

If you’re looking for the future of “Billions,” two quotes from this week’s episode point the way forward, I think. The first comes from Wendy Rhoades, describing to Taylor Mason her fear that their boss, Mike Prince, might suffer from narcissistic personality disorder: “He thinks he’s better than everyone else, and he won’t stop till he gets what he wants.”

did you have to open the review by discussing one of the worst moments in the episode? really?

Having successfully cowed the union into doing his bidding, he turns his attention to his prime targets: the billionaires, whom he refers to as “the criminal class,” represented by the rude and ruddy-faced Bud Lazarra (Wayne Duvall). The defiant Lazzara thumbs his nose at Chuck’s threats and convinces the union to call off the strike and take the original deal — but only through bribery, an act caught on camera by Chuck’s lieutenant Karl Allard, who wanders by in full Vincent (The Chin) Gigante bathrobe attire to record the incriminating footage.

i don’t actually care about this paragraph, i just wanted to point out that the author spelled one character’s last name two different ways in the span of six words.

Rian (Eva Victor), the rising star of Taylor Mason Carbon, sees an opportunity: There are other players in the sector with even filthier human-rights records, and Mase Carb could easily gobble up the whole sector. When Taylor tells her not to make the play, she does it anyway, leading Taylor to confer with Wendy Rhoades as to whether firing Rian is the right move. They decide it’s too Axe-like by half, and a chastened Rian is spared the ax, no pun intended.

that’s an interesting way of describing taylor going to wendy insisting that rian needs to be fired and wendy unilaterally talking them down by pointing out that it’s an axe move.

Since I’ve heard directly from several readers who upbraid me when I lose track of this, I’ll state for the record that I spotted two “Godfather” references: Chuck’s reference to Lazzara as the shot-calling Don Barzini of New York’s landed gentry, and Wags’s name-drop of Frankie Pentangeli from “Part 2” when it came time to make a killing on the market. (Rian bucks the trend by quoting a different Francis Ford Coppola film, “Apocalypse Now.”)

your readers sound like a nightmare. also, since when are we allowed to yell at you directly?

As an avowed Wags fan, it pains me to learn he’s an Eagles fan; my position on the band is best expressed by the Dude in “The Big Lebowski.”

go to hell for real glenn frey is my dad and he’s crying right now

Scooter Dunbar working connections in Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s office to further the anti-Rask ploy. Chuck Rhoades reading Thomas Piketty’s “Capitalism and Ideology.” The times, they are a-changin’.

wags namedropped the Squad in 5x11, so this isn’t that significant a change. but i am counting this as a point in favor of The Times They Are a-Changin’ appearing in an episode this season.

Seeing the Olympics committee dump a host city for human-rights violations is the kind of thing that reminds you what you’re watching is fiction.

you’re forgetting that their sponsor went bankrupt and the construction of their facilities was indefinitely delayed. those are also some significant reasons to dump a host city.

Entertainment Weekly: Billions recap: Chuck is back in New York to wage war on the city's most wealthy

As this week's episode of Billions kicks off, Mike Prince (Corey Stoll) finds himself between a rock and a hard place. Quite literally, actually, as he's doing a little rock climbing and struggling to find his grip.

[audience booing]

Elsewhere in the episode, Chuck (Paul Giamatti) has come back from his sabbatical on the farm, hungry to start a new war with some of New York's wealthiest citizens.

[paul giamatti voice] not a sabbatical!!!

Vulture: Billions Recap: Statement Win

Chuck has returned to the city following last week’s upstate sabbatical (which he, naturally, insists wasn’t a sabbatical), fired up and ready to pounce on the billionaire class.

at least someone’s paying attention here.

In a later scene, minutes before Nuzzi’s New York article is published, Sacker asks Chuck to explain why after getting Lazzara on his side, he was so quick to feed him to the wolves, so to speak. He says it sends a message to both enemies and allies that his moves can’t be anticipated. It makes sense in theory, but when Chuck elaborates that it was a lesson learned from his father, as in, the infamously traumatic “Pancake Eaters” tale, that’s when you realize once again that there is still a monster lurking beneath Chuck’s skin.

weird way of saying “chuck was abused as a child.”

Speaking of Sacker, I’ve been waiting a long time for Condola Rashad’s character to acknowledge that she’s chafing under her boss’ tight rein. And now that Billions has shifted to more of an ensemble drama, I think she’s finally going to have her day in the sun. When Chuck mentioned “Pancake Eaters,” I knew it was a signal for Sacker to start running — both away from the state AG’s office and for Congress. She’s had her eyes on the prize for so long, and to have Chuck guilt her into staying on his payroll for his own benefit, dangling his “full-throated endorsement” as a bargaining chip, is just infuriating.

We Are All ready for sacker to run!! any week now!! whenever she has to make that Big Decision!!

In case you weren’t certain that Senior is a terrible parent, “Lyin’ Eyes” contains the story of how he let “feeble” swimmer Chuck nearly drown during a Martha’s Vineyard summer vacation. Heartwarming.

trust me, we haven’t forgotten.

Plus, who else was filled with dread when Senior promised that the rest of his life lessons were now being saved for little Willow?

crossing my fingers that he dies before he can get around to that!