#anyways if youre getting called a terf ask yourself if you are a radfem who is excluding trans people from feminism

[funkycarabiner]

transphobes stay mad cause I have better things to do w my time than get on the internet and hate entire minorities over one of them allegedly calling me a name one time

[lostloveletters]

One of Those Nights (Sonny Corleone x Reader)

Summary: You’re Sonny and Sandra’s go-to babysitter, and when Sandra’s out of town for the weekend, Sonny needs all the help he can get.

Note: College-aged female reader, but no other descriptors are used. I listened to Donna Summer while writing this lol. Anyway, my first Godfather reader-insert fic! Do not interact if you're under 18, a terf or radfem, or post thinspo/ED content.

Word count: 1.8k

Warnings: Implied age gap, power imbalance, cheating. Sexually explicit content involving unprotected sex and Sonny's canonically huge cock. A little bit of praise kink. Do not interact if you're under 18.

Your eyes fluttered open from your half-asleep stupor at the sound of the front door’s locks clicking. Sitting up on the couch, you quickly smoothed out your blouse and skirt. You just barely made it into the kitchen when Sonny got in.

“Sorry I’m back so late. I wanted to be home to put the kids to bed—“

You shook your head, smiling. “It’s fine, Mr. Corleone. Frank and the twins are already asleep. There’s some sausage with peppers and onions in the icebox if you haven’t eaten. I can heat it up quick on the stove for you.”

“Jesus, you’re already doin’ us a favor staying the weekend while Sandra’s outta town,” he said, shedding his tie and undoing the first few buttons of his shirt. “And how many times do I gotta tell you, you can call me Sonny.” He playfully pinched your cheek. “I’m not that old yet, am I?”

“No,” you giggled. “Sorry, Sonny.”

The kitchen's layout was almost second-nature to you at that point, having done plenty of cooking for Sonny and Sandra's sweet kids when you babysat them. You grabbed a frying pan, setting it on the stovetop and pouring in a few drops of olive oil before turning on the flame. By the time you got the plate you saved for Sonny out of the refrigerator, the oil was sizzling, and the scent of sweet peppers and onions filled the kitchen again when you’d scraped the contents of the plate into the pan. 

Sonny was quiet behind you, save for him tapping his freshly lit cigarette against the porcelain ashtray on the kitchen table. You knew the sound well. His gaze burned through your back to your rapidly beating heart as you became increasingly aware that you were alone with him, the man who you lusted after in quiet guilt, because he was married and you were his children’s babysitter, for Christsake. 

After a few minutes, the sausage with peppers and onions appeared thoroughly reheated, and you transferred the meal back onto the plate. You grabbed a nearby loaf of crusty bread, cutting a piece for him and placing it with the rest of the food.

“Thanks, sweetheart,” Sonny said, grabbing the plate from the counter.

“Anytime.”

You returned to the living room, tuning the radio to the station that was broadcasting Lights Out, a late night horror show that always sucked you in no matter how hard you tried to remind yourself it was only a radio story. At least it’d get your mind off of Sonny, out of the gutter–or into a different one at least. You sat on the couch, fidgeting with your hands as you let yourself get lost in the host’s voice as he told the latest tale of terror.

You nearly screamed when Sonny appeared in the living room with his plate of food and asked, “You listen to this garbage?”

“It usually scares me into staying awake.”

He snickered to himself, taking the spot on the couch next to you. “For what?”

“My roommates and I play it in the dorm during finals to keep us up when coffee doesn’t cut it.”

“How’s college goin’ anyway? Straight As, right?”

“I made the dean’s list last semester.”

He shook his head. “Smart and beautiful, whatever lucky guy ends up with you is gonna have his hands full.” He glanced at your chest, his eyes lingering on your breasts for a moment before going back to his food. “Your cooking might be a little better than San’s. Don’t tell her I said that.”

You smiled, keening at his compliment. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

“You didn’t have to stay up for me, you know.”

“I know, but I wanted to.”

“Why’s that?”

You faltered. “I just wanted to see you.”

He smiled, amused by your answer. “You’re sweet. Gonna give me a toothache if you keep that up.”

“Is that so bad?”

Sonny shook his head as he set his plate down on the coffee table. “‘Course not.” He got up to turn the radio off, the sound of his voice engulfing you in a warm haze, “Don’t get a chance to be alone with you enough.” He placed his hand on your knee when he sat back down, rubbing his thumb against your stocking-clad leg, the feeling frustratingly electric as the thin fabric was all that lay between the skin-on-skin contact you craved from him.

Your lips parted, trying to conjure up a response, but only managing a shaky breath and a weak nod of agreement. 

“We don’t gotta do anything you don’t wanna do, doll,” he whispered, his voice low.

“I want you, Sonny,” you assured him. 

He kissed you with a passion you swore only existed in movies, not the hesitant or sloppy handling you’d experienced from past boyfriends, but the certainty of a man who knew exactly what he wanted. Heat rushed over your skin at the confirmation that he wanted you, his hands on your body, sliding up your skirt as he grabbed your ass, pulling you closer to him so that you were practically straddling his lap. You steadied yourself on his biceps, giving them a squeeze, letting yourself feel him, acknowledge your desire for him that had been latent until then.

You moaned into his mouth, his tongue capturing the sound, claiming your expression of desire as his. And who else would it be for? You’d always found him handsome and charismatic, always were a bit too curious about what was behind each vaguely flirtatious comment or sly wink he’d send your way when no one else was looking. 

“Sonny, where–where should we–”

“We can do it out here, but you gotta be quiet. You can do that for me, right?”

You nodded eagerly.

Hunger glistened in his dark eyes as he smiled wolfishly. “Attagirl.”

A whimper escaped your lips at his praise, the way he made you feel naked with just his gaze. You unbuttoned your blouse, letting it slip from your arms and tossing it aside onto the floor. Sonny pulled you onto his lap, burying his face in the crook of your neck while he kneaded your breasts through your bra. Soon, that wasn’t enough, and he pulled them from the cups, his hands on your soft skin as he squeezed. His thumbs brushed over your nipples. You gasped. You wanted his hands on you like that all the time, had imagined–secretly hoped, even–that he’d do it one day while you were in the kitchen or in the narrow hallway to the bedrooms, that he’d grope you, kiss you, do something to make you stop feeling so crazy about him. In that moment you realized getting what you wished for only made you want him more.

His lips burned deliciously against your skin, and you groaned at the gentle bites he left on your neck and shoulders. You rocked your hips against his, feeling his hard cock straining through his pants, desperate for more friction against your pussy. 

“You feel that? You feel what you do to me?” he murmured against your tender skin.

“I need you,” you whined. “Please, Sonny.”

“Alright, doll. Lay back for me, alright?”

You did as he asked, shifting off of his lap to lie back on the couch. You watched intently, hungrily, as he unbuckled his belt, pulling his cock free from his pants, slowly pumping his length in his hand. You nearly choked. Sandra had made jokes about Sonny’s size before, ones that made your face heat up in embarrassment at her talking so crudely about him, but you’d always thought she was exaggerating. 

“Oh my god,” you breathed, silently wondering if he could even fit inside you, an almost morbid curiosity only further fueling your desire.

A tender concern spread across his face as he searched yours for any sign of hesitation. “You sure you’re alright with this?”

You nodded. “I’ve wanted you in a bad way for so long.”

“How bad?” he asked, his voice husky and low.

Your lips nearly touched his as you whispered your answer. “Shameful.”

He kissed you again, this time with an intensity that nearly knocked the wind out of you. His fingers dug into the waistband of your panties and stockings, pulling them down so you could kick them off, ending up with one leg hanging off of the couch, exposing your wet pussy for him. You buried your fingers into his hair, the kiss desperate and wanton, your mouth open for him in a soft gasp as his pushed his tip inside you. 

It wasn’t enough, the primal part of your brain screamed. You needed more. Digging your nails into his scalp, you lifted your hips, taking more of him in you.

“Don’t hold back, Sonny. I can take it,” you said.

He licked his lips, staring at you for a split second before determining you meant what you said. He filled you, your pussy clenching around his cock as he thrust into you, finding a rhythm that would’ve been painful if you weren’t already wet for him. 

“Y’know, I used to get off thinkin’ about this,” he grunted, “bending you over the kitchen counter or up against the bathroom door.”

“Sonny–I–”

“You know how long I’ve wanted you? Now I’ve got my pretty college girl coming apart for me.”

“Oh my god–fuck–Sonny–” Your heart was pounding in your ears, eyes struggling to stay open as his thrusts became deeper, more erratic. He was close, his cock twitching inside you, hitting that spot you’d only ever reached with your fingers before. No faking it, no having to do the heavy lifting yourself. 

He had to put his hand over your mouth when it hit you, white hot pleasure bursting in your brain, pulsing through your pussy as you grabbed at him, digging your fingers into his arms to ground yourself, feeling as though you’d lose control of your body otherwise. Your moans were muffled, incoherent nonsense as he fucked you through your climax to reach his. With another hard thrust, he came inside you. Overwhelmed by the sensation, your hips bucked and your pussy clenched hard around him, milking his cock as he came.

“Look at you, takin’ it all–fuck–” Sonny hissed out through gritted teeth, trying to maintain what little self-control he had as to not make too much noise. “So fuckin’ good for me–”

You whined at that, your overstimulated, fucked-out brain going into overdrive. You wanted to be good for him. You were good for him. 

You weren’t sure when it got so still, so quiet, but the only sound in the room was your and Sonny’s heavy breathing. He pulled out of you, your pussy feeling achingly empty. You looked at the ceiling, mildly aware of Sonny staring at you.

“How're you feeling? I didn’t hurt you, did I?” he asked.

“I’ll be lucky if I can walk tomorrow,” you said breathlessly. “But that was great. Really I–I don’t know what else to say.”

He caressed your cheek, bringing your attention back to him. “I’m gonna get you a towel, alright, sweetheart?”

You nodded, smiling a bit when he kissed your forehead before disappearing down the hall to the bathroom. And there were still two whole days left before Sandra got back. You smiled wider.

[daffodilmornings]

I appreciate everyone's concern over my stances on what I believe. Radfems make victim spaces unsafe because people who are non-women get abused. My boyfriend would never be safe because you would assume he is a perpatrator and not a victim. My trans partner would be assumed a predator too because they have male genitalia. Trans people are not safe around terfs and radfems, so they would not be safe in victim spaces. Even cis men can never talk about being victims of abuse.

You can call me a terf for not wanting terfs to interact. You can call me a terf for not liking radical feminism. Radicalization of any belief leads to people getting hurt, oppressed, or left out of the final goal: which is to make men and women equal I hope.

I am not silencing rape victims. I am silencing terf and radfem ideology. You can call yourself a man-hater, but I am NOT a man hater. I am an intersectional feminist who understands how the patriarchy works and actively tries to unlearn my own biases and teach those around me.

You don't have to agree, but actively attacking me and calling me horrible names is what all my oppressors do anyway. The comments and asks I've gotten sound like every butt-hurt man when I say I'm not interested in them. You sound JUST AS BAD AS YOUR OPPRESSORS WHEN YOU START HARASSING RAPE VICTIMS!

Make your own space for radfem terf victims. Because I want a place that my genderqueer ass can go to cry with other gender-fucked people.

ANTI TERF ANTI RADFEM ANTI BIGOTRY

[lostandfem]

hhhh i feel like we agree on so much i just. im “TIF” ig, more specifically FTMTFTMTFT?? and w confirmed prenatal androgenization + dissociative disorder linked to onset of puberty. i have literally tried everything i even did IV ketamine treatments, electroshock therapy. testosterone is the only thing that made me feel like i wasn’t. playing the sims. trying to live from the inside out. idk how to even explain it. if u have dysphoria ykwim probably. the only other times ive ever felt ok were when i was starving myself to the point of producing little to no sex hormones. i feel like a lot of ppl— especially with endocrine-disrupting chemicals becoming more of an issue— are struggling with degrees of genuine sex based dysphoria from prenatal EDC exposure. ik that sounds conspiracy-y but the WHO even released a study recently linking them to GD and intersex conditions. anyway i havent even socially transitioned this time because ive realized idc about what i’m seen as or called i simply just. know in my head what my body should look like. i was also intersex and forced on fem hormones at puberty so maybe its related to that but. i wish radfem spaces were less hateful towards transmasc female ppl. the rhetoric abt our bodies (and in turn abt unmodified intersex bodies bc i wouldn’t have been feminized originally without hormones) is really gross and just shows a deep seated hatred of sex non conforming females and as much as i recognize and hate the biosexism of amab trans ppl and the overall trans community. i just cant feel safe as an intersex snc female so its just like. No Community For Me, i’m too trans for the terfs and too terfy for the transes. sorry i didn’t mean to rant its just. the climate is so divisive rn n im struggling with being radfem but also like. clearly having biosex dysphoria that i have tried literally everything to eradicate. you dont have to publish this i simply needed to tell someone who would maybe get it and you seem to

i did these asks out of order and idk if youre the same person as the other ones rip. but yeah i hate teh “detrans people are mutilated” stuff too. ideologically i know radfems are supposed to support all females regardless of the state of their bodies, but i think youre right that a lot of them take the altered thing to mean youre an impure female. im really sorry you were forced on hormones, i really am. its hard to make peace with knowing that your body was altered when you wish it wasnt. intersex people deserve at least a choice in the matter, not that stuff being forced on them. they deserve to feel the sex dysphoria/dysmorphia without it being an inherently gendered experience too.

being in-between ideologically is rough. but sometimes its kinda necessary. belonging to yourself is important, so if you dont feel like you can belong to any one group, at least stand by your beliefs 💜

[harrypotterfuryroad]

fjakdsfjkl they're checking children's genitals in Ohio & florida and y'all radfems totally sided with them to get it done, much like your calls for censorship silenced lesbian authors in the nineties (see the feminist sex wars/porn wars and/or struggles of the little sisters canadian bookshop).

wow, amazing. you STILL, even after fucking LINKING it, very obviously failed to read the whole thing. she absolutely described radical feminist ideology. and being well-read is something you guys pride yourselves on...that's pretty sad. i'm not even saying this is a premier source against your crock of shit ideology; i frequently cite many others. yet you failed--multiple times, now--to properly read the one single tumblr post i brought to your attention.

by far the most obnoxious conversation to have with you people is the "sex is binary" conversation. it's so eerily like talking to the scientologist freaks i grew up around, it's like a deja vu nightmare. biology is complex. also, it doesn't care. not "it doesn't care and that's why women are fucked by it!" no, it just doesn't fucking care. period. it's neutral. why in hell are you treating biological sex like it's spiritual...oh, that's right, because of your incessant and childish need to feel like a victim, which matters more than other people and certainly more than the truth. intersex people exist. you guys deny it alot, but they do. they're about as common as redheads. are redheads fucking fictitious, "harrypotterfuryroad"?

i am a cis woman, and i'm annoyed with what influence (feeble though it is, it's still important because you quite literally endanger lives) you've managed to have over the very important, real conversation about systemic misogyny. the irony is that you have made it harder to talk about. you have hindered progress. by oppressing women you have *omg you'll never guess, cue drumroll* fucking oppressed women.

as that post said, you don't own the definition of womanhood. society does. and it and i (hello, a cis woman born with your same genitals and born into the same oppression you've faced, not that it matters!) don't agree with you. get the fuck over yourself and grow up.

name one radfem that supported genital checks and follow that up by explaining why men belong in women's sports in the first place

and am i supposed to be shocked that anti-porn feminists were anti-porn regardless of who was producing it? are you shocked? did you think you had some kind of gotcha by saying that anti-porn arguments were coopted by homophobes? that horse is long past dead

she described it, sure, but she didn't define it. and a lot of those descriptive statements were total asspulls anyway. like, imagine you ask me what a square is, and i give you "it isn't a circle," "sometimes they're blue," and "they're related to trapezoids" as descriptive statements. all of these can be true, but they're not useful in gauging if i actually know what makes a square a square. so yeah i'm gonna go ahead and reject a pile of descriptive and spuriously ascriptive statements as a coherent definition, thanks. throwing out things like "TERFs think they're leftists" and "TERFs are inherently fascist" doesn't give any clear picture of what (again) a radfem is, especially with the implicit split between radfems and "TERFs"

and likewise i'll breeze right past your attention-grabbing link to scientology, i posted a few weeks ago about why that isn't productive without much more detail. i'm not treating biology like it's spiritual; i'm treating sex like it's binary. you're the one taking that spiritually by acting like i'm making some kind of individual moral judgment based on it. the redhead frequency thing is fucking stupid, because just like redheads still have hair, intersex people are still male or female (and they're also not there to be used as pawns by you)

also please tell me how it's been made harder to talk about systemic misogyny with specific examples because i'm curious about that

and finally the womanhood thing was the exact line that made it clear that the writer of that post had no idea what she was talking about. the boundaries that feminists have drawn around womanhood are really lenient and really broad. nothing about behavior or dress or class or race disqualifies you from "womanhood." there's no wrong way to be a woman except by being male, and there's no point in taking that personally

[decolonize-the-left]

I agree with you about radfems being terrible, but at the same time the bigger issue with that post is that simply being or acting airheaded and calling yourself a bimbo isn't "a feminist act." Not everything any given woman does, even ones that identify as feminists, needs to be feminist. It's okay for them to just exist in a way that makes them happy and make whatever content makes them happy as long as they're not hurting anyone. But even a broken clock is wrong twice a day, so the point of whether or not them making videos and self id'ing as bimbos "is a feminist act" is that it isn't. I don't know if I'd go as far as to call it anti feminist either, but can we stop trying to claim everything a woman does has to be feminist?

I think it's funny you're hid behind a greyface to tell me that "not everything women do is a feminist act" when the beliefs of radfems and TERFs are founded on the idea that happily having a uterus -an organ 50% of the planet have- is the single defining factor in womanhood and who deserves a voice within feminism.

Anyway.

Bimbos are feminists because within sexism the value of women is attached to their intelligence. Either being too smart (like having the audacity to read in the 1700's or making a man look dumb by knowing more than him in 2022) or being too "dumb" (usually just means she didn't know every single little detail about whatever subject people around her were talking about).

It's feminist because it directly challenges that sexist belief. It's feminist because women are inherently valuable. It's feminist because their value should not be attached to their intelligence. It's feminist because taking pride in your intelligence (or lack thereof) directly challenges the control that sexism and patriarchy try to exert over the intelligence of women.

Thinking they can't be feminist cuz you personally don't think being a bimbo is feminist is just a perpetuation of the belief that dumb girls aren't worth listening to or valuing.

But my explanation doesn't actually matter because you don't actually care. You didn't send this in good faith and it's so obvious that I'm offended you thought I'd actually buy your bullshit.

My entire life is trauma, babe. I know when someone is trying to manipulate me and my beliefs, that isn't gonna happen here

To my followers:

The only reason I even posted this was to unpack this ask.

TERFs are deeply manipulative & gaslighting. They will happily placate you until they earn enough of your trust to make you more receptive to hearing & sharing their views.

So let's break this down.

She immediately claimed not to be a radfem and othered herself from them. That's an excellent way to make someone who's normally hostile to radfems feel like they're youre on the same side as them. Lowers your defenses, makes you more willing to listen.

She also talks in a way that makes it sound like she isn't being malicious. She just doesn't agree with me, that's all. Again, a manipulative tactic intended to weaken your defenses and get you to actually consider what the radfem is saying. I mean it's not like she's hostile...right?

While using this tone immediately launches into sharing her beliefs and logic as to why being a bimbo isn't feminist. Which, you'll notice she doesn't actually explain. She states they aren't feminist and says "not everything women do is feminist" as a reason but doesn't even bother to name why she feels that way.

She also owns up to the fact that she shares this opinion with radfems and adds "a broken clock is right twice a day" which she's hoping is enough to gain more trust by being so openly honest while simultaneously making it clear that even though she shares an opinion with them she isn't one of them.

And again, the best way to get me, someone Actively hostile to radfems, to listen would be do exactly what I said above. Placate, align herself as someone on my side, and do her best not to sound like a radfem. So instead of just sending "bimbos aren't feminist" which would have gotten across the Same Exact Message, I get this long winded ask written like a freshman trying to reach the word count on an essay. Because she doesn't just want me to know her opinion, she wants me to share it.

"can we stop claiming everything women do is feminist?" Finally, the goddamn point. After doing all this she wants me to agree with her point. The same exact point radfems were trying to make. Bimbos aren't feminists. Let me clear: the only people on earth who share the same feminist opinions with radfems and have a motive to get other people to share those radfem opinions are radfems trying push their bigotry.

Don't fall for this shit.

[this-world-of-beautiful-monsters]

I love that the internet is forever and there is record of you shipping incest from teenage mutant ninja turtles. Like you can change your blog name but there it is. 😂 OMG. What a time to be alive. You will really never escape that. You’re not queer like you wanna be so bad (for what reason, who knows) you’re queer like- you’re a fucking deranged freakazoid who likes incest from kids shows. Instead of writing me a really nice fic, maybe just get therapy.

Aaaaaaaaaaand there's a permanent record of you wasting your Halloween writing me this garbage. You can call yourself "radical" for the rest of your life, but you'll never change the fact that you're a sad, Puritanical TERF with literally nothing better to do than harass real people over fictional characters. Animals are people too, but apparently I'm not, yeah?

Not to mention that you'll be trying to sell yourself as "radical" with this shit literally hanging over you:

And what the hell made you think I'd ever want to hide who I am? There's no goddamn shame in valuing the lives of real people over fictional characters, whereas there's quite a bit in doing the opposite, because that suggests a really small, wretched life. Sounds like you're doing quite a lot of projecting about who wants to erase what.

I'm a queer freak, loud and proud and unchangeable. You're a sad sack. And there's no reason on earth I'd want to hide either of those things. I don't even need to beg people to think I'm "scawy" (seriously, nobody is scared of radfems and TERFs, we just think you're morons and feel sorry for you), you clearly already think it already if you're so terrified of my words you have to hurt me without even knowing me. I didn't even know your stupid blog existed until you decided to permanently link it to this morning.

Whereas I'm very curious what the hell you were doing stalking my blog to begin with, considering there isn't even a lot here that could be classified as guilty wank material. Are you that lonely with your fellow TERF nazis? Do you need to try to do something awful that you think is righteous to get out of bed in the morning? Do you have a record of trying to hurt three people a day before one of your so-called friends will give you a smidgen of the affection you so desperately need?

Anyway, I'm glad there's a permanent internet record of the way that radfems so heavily intersect with antis. Like, hey, maybe there is a reason you guys overlap so much. Maybe there's a reason you're all going to be jumping at ghosts long after Halloween is over.

Also "freakazoid?" Are you in middle school? I don't even need emojis to try to convince you I'm laughing, because this shit is hilarious enough on its own. Especially if you staple it to your own blog with another incoherent spiel.

Therapists agree with fic writing, but I think you should consult your own, because your life is probably genuinely shitty if it drove you to make this ask. Like, seriously, this came so out of the blue I have to believe you've just had a breakup or something that makes you run around, desperately harassing people like this.

Chances are you're just going to pretend you didn't read this--antis have a way of doing that, and so do morons desperately clinging on to the last word like kids trying to win the "are too" game. But there's still a record for those sweet baby antis out there for the next time they think about jumping into bed with radfems who seem to think that animals matter more with people, and there's going to be a record of your misery.

So, anyway, I'm not going to write you a very nice fic. I'm going to write you a very nasty fic about transmasc turtles in love. Happy Halloween, you poor unfortunatel soul. Unlike you, I’m not hiding shit.

[feral-radfem]

Hi :) I'm not a TERF, I just scroll through some blogs on occasion (because sometimes you guys say things that I think are true but can't really say in front of my irl friends). Anyway, I have a question on the whole "hating men" thing. I kind of like the idea, I'm a lesbian and regularly I read news stories or just see men do stuff in public and think "wow I hate men". But I also have a very close male friend - just a straight dude from university. He's such a kind and funny person, we go on long walks and afterwards hang out and watch movies all the time, he recently cared for me when I was sick etc. A real friend, you get the deal. Is that allowed, under the radfem doctrine? Or is that bad because... some other woman, somewhere else, is hurt by a man?

Hey.

There is no radical feminist doctrine that says you have to hate men. I hate men because men as a class have continuously targeted me. My hatred for men manifest as me trying to stay away from them and being cautious around males who I cannot avoid entirely. This hatred is entirely different than how males hate women.

That being said, it is more likely for you to be assaulted or raped by a male you know than a stranger. A lot of the times it is the super nice friends you would never suspect. By all means be their friend, that's your prerogative. But every male you introduce into your life and regularly hang out with alone you're putting yourself in more danger, statistically.

Also,I'm curious so I must ask, why do you care if it is "allowed" in radical feminism? You already clarified that you're not a radical feminist, or the crude misnomer we get called, at least. Even if you disagreed with me, you as someone who is not a radical feminist, are under no obligation to follow the rules and practices of radical feminism.

Radical feminism is a voluntary political movement that have suggestions in our literature of how to make your life safer from males. There are very few requirements that MUST be done to be a radical feminist, a lot of the things we talk about are merely encouraged suggestions. I guess that's the easiest and most concise way to answer your question.

[deanwinchesterf]

Most terfs i see are vehemntly against consensual stuff such as BDSM and the likes of that. I see many even against porn and sex work in general. I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable for calling you queer, i was going on lgbt+ history there.

As for oppression, yes sexism and opression exists, but blaming every man and putting down men isnt going to fix anything. To be equals you cant pull down people to your level, you have to work together to rise up simultaneously. Am i saying work with sexist people? Of course not, fuck those people. I'm saying you have to work with your allies, no matter who they may be. This idea of "all men are inherently evil" doesnt work towards any goal other then harming men. Most of the men that get harmed are men who are already oppressed anyways.

Can you give me an example of your idealogy ever actually helping someone that doesnt put down someone else?

may i ask you, what is the difference between a man beating a woman because he just loves beating women, and a man beating a woman because he loves beating women AND it gives him a boner? consent is irrelevant, in this context. i used to pratice bdsm before i became a feminist, so trust me when i say i know all of the arguments of consent, etc. turns out i just absolutely hated myself and figured that if i asked others to harm me, i didnt have to harm myself. i consented to all that was done to me, but it has still left me with a completely broken sexuality. note also how radfems arent against all kink - none of us could care less if you like sucking toes or pretending youre ballooning up to massive size. the violence, however, is harmful.

thats not even mentioning how violence in sex has become so commonplace that literal children on tiktok speak about wanting to get raped, choked and beaten. its not healthy.

as for porn, how can you tell that the video youre watching is consensual? how can you tell the actors are in the videos because they love it and want to be? why should we normalise that very, very young people can feed themselves a steady stream of extreme violence committed against women, all while masturbating - creating an orgasm, a perfect way to wire their brains into thinking violence = good.

i am a survivor of ”sex work”, actually. id like you to ponder about the fact that all ex ”sex workers” out there are extremely against ”sex work”. selling feet pics on onlyfans is not the same as the reality for most women who sell sexual services. most are trafficked, dependent on drugs, are raped regularily. ask yourself, should the extremely rare and few sex workers who love their professions and have the ability to choose their clients speak over us who have survived and speak about the horrors we faced?

i cant say i quite understand your argument re: men. the truth is, all men benefit from our oppression. i have yet to meet a man who actively fights for womens liberation. its not about being equal, its about being liberated, and we cannot be if we coddle men. id also like to ask you - do you think men speak like this to other men re: sexist views? have you seen the way men speak about women in their enclosed spaces? i do agree that not all men are evil, but the truth is enough of them are that youre not safe around any of them.

radical feminism, in my opinion, allows women to find sisterhood, something ripped away from us by patriarchy. we can speak about womens voting rights, our rights to have our own bank accounts, abortion rights, right to divorce etc, but i think you already know all of those which is why i speak about personal experience.

a woman who unlearns centering her life around men is a powerful woman. giving women their voices back, and their bodies, and the love of other women is to me worth unmentionably much more than mens hurt feelings. womens lands, womens movements and even just all female friend groups - i have a circle of radfem friends who are all absolutely incredible people - they all collectively put womens needs and wants back into focus. men have always centered other men, so why shouldnt women center other women? why are you not in the inbox of MGTOWs, MRAs and redpillers? what is it specifically about radical feminism that is so provoking?

[aropinions]

So What Is Exclusionism, Anyway?

As I've looked through inclusionist circles, I've come to a startling realization that most of them have an extremely skewed understanding of what exclusionism is (along with its various offshoots, subtypes, and related beliefs). They equate it to hatred of whatever group is being excluded, and they don't think people part of the excluded group could ever support exclusionism.

So, I've decided to write a long post to clear up some of those misconceptions. This post is mainly targeted to inclusionists and people wondering where they stand on the inclus/exclus sides of various types of discourse, but if you're exclusionist already, please feel free to reblog or boost it. <3 Thanks in advance for reading!

I'll start by introducing myself. Hi, I'm Ivy, or at least that's what I go by on here. I am a heterosexual, aromantic female. I am neurodivergent (ADHD, so forgive me if I ramble or write in a scatterbrained way) and have several other mental illnesses that I don't wish to talk about online. I do not have gender dysphoria, but I do not "feel feminine," and my personality has been described as rather masculine. In fact, many people in the inclusionist trans community have tried to convince me that I'm nonbinary because I don't feel a strong connection to a female gender, and I'll talk about that more later in this post.

I'm going to put all my relevant discourse opinions on the table right now. (In the next paragraph, I'm going to explain what all these labels actually mean and why they don't automatically make someone a horrible person.) Contrary to popular belief, I am not a trans-exclusionary radical feminist (TERF), an aphobe, a transphobe, or a bigot. I am ace-exclusionist, aro-exclusionist, trans-exclusionist, transmedicalist, pro-LGB, and gender-critical.

Now here's the fun part. Bear with me -- we're about to debunk the myths about these opinions, explain each term's real definition, and talk about some of the reasoning behind the beliefs.

Exclusionism, as a blanket term, is the belief that gatekeeping is necessary to make any group or community meaningful and safe. Various types of exclusionists fight against the lumping together of various marginalized identities or groups, because they believe that letting different types of people into spaces meant for more specific groups will detract from the safety and functionality of those spaces. They do not hate the groups they are excluding, and they typically want to exclude both ways. For example, ace exclusionists don't want allosexual LGBT let into ace spaces any more than they want asexuals let into LGBT spaces. Many exclusionists in LGBT discourse support the exclusion of groups that they themselves are part of, because in addition to the idea that it's harmful to the main LGBT community to lump them into it, they also think their group deserves its own recognition as a separate thing from the LGBT community. Exclusionism is not hatred.

Time to get into more specific terms. Let's start pretty simple, with truscum and transmeds. Someone who is truscum believes that people must have dysphoria to be trans. Someone who is transmedicalist believes that gender dysphoria is a mental disorder, and that transness is a medical condition synonymous with gender dysphoria. All transmeds are truscum, but not all truscum are transmeds. Most truscums and transmeds are against MOGAI, neopronouns, gender microlabels (e.g. genderflux or demiboy), and xenogenders. Most truscums believe in nonbinary people. There are some transmeds who don't believe nonbinary dysphoria is real, but they're not the majority.

The direct opposite of truscum and transmed is "tucute," which denotes a belief that dysphoria is not required to be transgender and gender identity is completely unrelated to biological sex or medical disorders/conditions. Tucutes also generally support MOGAI, xenogenders, neurogenders, microlabels, and neopronouns.

Next, we have bio-essentialism. Bio-essentialism is the belief that oppression is based on biological sex, not gender identity, and that identifying as a different gender than your birth sex doesn't automatically mean you are oppressed. This doesn't necessarily mean bio-essentialists believe that gender doesn't exist or that you can't identify as whatever you want, just that your social oppression is based off your biological sex. Not all bio-essentialists are truscum or transmeds, but most are. Bio-essentialists prominently use the terms "male" and "female" to describe biological sex rather than gender identity, and non-radical ones will use "man" and "woman" as blanket terms that include transmen and transwomen while maintaining "male" and "female" as words for biological sex only.

Then, we have the big bad term, TERF. I've seen a lot of people misuse the TERF label, so I'm going to try to clarify its actual meaning. The acronym stands for "trans-exclusionary radical feminist." It's important to break that down into two main parts -- TE and RF -- because trans-exclusionists are often called TERFs when most of them don't fit the "RF" part of the acronym at all.

Trans-exclusionism (TE) means that you believe transgender issues/discourse/activism should be separated from LGB issues/discourse/activism because they are fundamentally different. L, G and B all have one thing in common: being attracted to people of the same sex as you. T is about someone's gender, not their sexual orientation, so trans-exclusionists believe that the LGB and the T should not be lumped into the same community. It doesn't mean they think trans people deserve less respect or are not real. Most trans-exclusionists are also truscum or transmedicalist, but not all are. Many trans-exclusionists who are also feminists are gender-critical, but not all are. Pro-LGB is a synonym of trans-exclusionist, but in my experience, people who describe themselves as "pro-LGB" are more likely to also be gender-critical than those who identify themselves as "trans-exclusionist."

Radical feminism (RF) is a subset of feminism that -- in addition to general feminist beliefs -- is anti-porn, anti-kink, against the makeup industry, and very often openly misandrist. Radical feminists are not always trans-exclusionist, and trans-exclusionists are not always radical feminists (in fact, most aren't). Most radfems are anti-capitalist, and all are against pink capitalism and rainbow capitalism (the commercialization of feminist ideas, gay rights, etc.) Most radfems are truscum or transmedicalist, but not all are.

All TERFs are also gender-critical. "Gender-critical" people are bio-essentialist, but they go a step further to say that gender identity is a meaningless term, and that biological sex is the sole basis of oppression. However, one can be gender-critical and still support trans people if one is a transmedicalist. GC transmeds believe that trans people are still oppressed in society according to their biological sex, not their gender identity, but that social/physical transitioning is acceptable as a treatment for the mental disorder known as gender dysphoria.

Neither trans-exclusionism nor radical feminism is inherently transphobic or hateful toward transgender people. To differentiate a regular trans-exclusionist from a TERF, ask yourself if the person fits the radfem beliefs outlined above. If not, they aren't a TERF.

Now that all of that is covered, we can talk about the last couple types of exclusionism I want to touch on -- asexual exclusionism and aromantic exclusionism. These almost always come together as a package called aro/ace-exclusionism or aspec-exclusionism, but it is technically possible to be ace-exclusionist and not aro-exclusionist (or vice versa), though I've never personally met someone with such beliefs. Aspec-exclusionists believe that aspec people should not be included in the LGBT community because the lack of sexual or romantic attraction is a completely separate struggle and involves separate experiences than having attractions that exist, but are not heterosexual. Some more extreme aro/ace exclusionists strongly gatekeep aromanticism and asexuality. These ones don't believe in microlabels on the "aro spectrum" or "ace spectrum" such as demisexual or grayromantic. They maintain the belief that if someone has sexual attraction (regardless of whether they actually pursue people sexually) then they are not asexual, and if someone feels romantic attraction at all (even if they don't pursue romantic relationships) they are not aromantic.

Aro/ace-exclusionists, regardless of their beliefs on aromantic and asexual spectrums or microlabels, are not inherently aphobic. They only want aromanticism and asexuality to be separated from the rest of the LGB or LGBT community, and treated as their own distinct identities.

I hope this post was informative, and if anyone has feedback on anything I should edit, they should let me know in replies. Regardless of your beliefs, if you actually read this whole post or even just scrolled to the bottom, I'd like to offer a sincere thanks for bearing with me thus far. If you are an inclusionist or otherwise disagree with the things in the post, but you read it anyway, I have a lot of respect for your willingness to hear opinions other than yours rather than blindly blocking out everything you disagree with.

No matter who you are, I hope you have a great day. <3

[lostandfem]

hi ! I don't know if I could call myself detrans, since I've only transitionned socially/mentally. I discovered your blog throught the detrans tag and your 'comic' panel.

I apologize if it's weird, but I had this urge to talk to you, to someone who gets it.

I've identified as a trans guy from age 13 to 18, and had planned to have top surgery and T and all. It was far from a joke, and this also aggravated tons of social issues, my eating disorder, difficulties to breathe due to binder and self harm...

Nobody seems to really take it seriously. My trans Friends are just like ''yeah, you just were wrong about yourself'' and are okay with me as long as I'm not a 'terf'. My parents are happy to have a daughter as if it wasn't difficult for me.

I still have dysphoria. Whenever I see a man, Real, fictionnal, it hurts so Bad and I ache to be him. I can't accept my female body or voice, my social position either. To be made of this flesh is humiliating to me. I thought about transitioning in the end, even if it's Bad for the health and there's no way to be really a man, just to stop the ache a bit .

I know my situation is not at serious as you, since you medically transitionned, and I cannot imagine how hard this must be. (And I'm sorry if I offended you by comparing our experiences.)

Is there anyway to talk to people like me and you ? I feel so alone and misunderstood. Thanks you, and good Luck in your life .

I’m so sorry for your experience. And I’m so sorry I took so long to answer this. I was on a break for a while.

I almost just want to leave this ask here and let it speak for itself. Let it stand as a testimony for the experience. I relate a lot to it. I’m familiar with that ache. I want to be seen, to be understood, to share bonds and have belonging. And I’ve really only seen men represented that way in a way I can relate to. In a way that’s not about being catty or doing your nails or any number of stereotypes.

Part of the reason I stopped transitioning is that I had the realization that it wouldn’t work. There wouldn’t be any number of surgeries or hormones that would make me just like them. That I was only forcing my body to do things it didn’t want to do in order to fit some standard I decided for it.

It sucks a lot that it seems to be a common detrans experience that no one gets how hard it is. That it’s so easily dismissed as “oh yeah you had the wrong label for a while, but it’s okay cuz you have the right one now :)”. Even without medical transition, it’s still a whole mindset shift and facing your pain head on. I’m sorry you had to have your experiences dismissed so easily.

Tbh the only detrans people I talk to are in radfem spaces. Discords and more private spaces usually. But other than that I don’t have any idea. Most of the time, I think, we’re kinda pushed into the fringes or into silence so we’re hard to find. I’m happy to chat for a while if you need it. I can’t guarantee I’ll help with anything, but sometimes it’s just nice to talk to people you can compare experiences to

[searchingforproofsthatimwrong]

THE JAMMIEDODGER VIDEO ABOUT JK ROWLING (as recommended by a very polite anon)

so I go point by point after the cut but in short: they should read more feminist theory, they are lying, they are not as coherent as they think they are but they make some points, notably about the rapid onset gender disphoria that’ll need to check in more depth later on.Most of their sources were unfortunatly either on points I already knew or already agreed with.  Also that woman ( the “cis” one not Jammy), should really stop thinking being born a woman is somehow a privilege.

So the video starts by saying three things I agree with :

1)      Biological sex is definitely real

2)      Women’s right and girls’ right need to be protected

3)      JK Rowling is entitled to like support and write whatever she wants

 So far so good. Except it then goes on to say that TRA agree with that. Now maybe most do but at least some don’t. Don’t lie to me, Jammie Dodger.  

They then go on to misrepresent what our problem with “cis” is. Are they going to spend that entire video about trans people at destination of the non educated on that subject without ONCE defining what a trans person is? They are aren’t they ?

“TRANSPEOPLE AGREE THAT BIOLOGICAL SEX EXISTS!!” 

see earlier but given the number of people who are saying “sex is a social construct” and “sex is a spectrum” and “a neovagina is just like a vagina”, you may at least put a “most” in your statement here. Anyway this is not the problem we have, we wouldn’t even discuss this if it weren’t for the brain dead morons who argue with us about it.

“my biological sex -the one I was assigned at birth- was female” 

is Jammie here telling me he knows biology exists but his sex WAS female ? It still IS female. You’re a female. Moreover you cannot say I know biology exists and I was assigned a sex. The entire “assigned sex” is a refutal of biology by implying doctors choose a sex for you. This is stupid.

Strawman. They are saying radfems have no argument against “gender identity is a real thing”. The lies. Gender identity is not a real thing it’s just gender stereotypes and gender is a tool of oppression for women, it’s sexist garbage. I also notice they don’t define gender identity, this is starting to be a pattern, this video is aimed to normies but the only thing they defined so far is terf.

They did 5 fucking minutes on “transpeople know that biological sex exists” I am already exhausted.

Oh my bad they defined “gender identity” as “the gender you know you are”. THANKS A BUNCH THIS IS SO HELPFUL . Define gender please I beg of you.  

“They know they are a man but their bodies don’t match” 

okay so you agree that man and woman are words that depends on your body right? Since it can “match”, they are not gender then ? Nevermind he then says that man is their gender identity. This is not making sense.

Ooooooh the floating head analogy never heard that one before, this is a stupid one because gendies also argue that their gender is innate (unless Jammie here specifically says he doesn’t think that I’ll act as if he agrees with that statement) so the good question would be if you were born as a floating head and never even had a body would you still be a woman? And my answer here as well as plenty of people I suspect is “men and women don’t make sense if we’re born as floating heads what are you on about?”

“transwomen needs women’s right too” 

I know you think that is self evident but I’ll ask what exactly are the women’s right transwomen need. Abortion? Affordable periods product ? The right to have places free of male? oh wait. They are male so they can never have that can they ?

“so feminism also needs to believe in gender identity”

 because if we don’t our feminism is only for females and we exclude males. Notice how they didn’t continue their logic by saying how THIS feminism excludes transmen and nonbinary? Because it does, but guess who actually need the women’s right of abortion for exemple?

“transmen don’t need women’s rights” 

I FUCKING CANNOT YOU STILL NEED IT WTF ARE YOU ON ABOUT. OK I need them to define women’s right asap

“well JK Rowling said she supports trans rights”

 funny how you can understand how those words are not a proof that she in fact does but you still started your video by “we support women’s rights !!!”

“adding [to Harry Potter] content that was LGBT+ friendly” 

she added things that were gay friendly. I don’t remember her adding trans characters.

“transphobic” = saying men can’t become women. Whoah. The hatred.

“the lack of belief [in gender identity] is what she wants protected”

 yes and ? Atheism, the lack of belief in a god, is protected. Gender identity existence only proof is some people saying it does exists, it is not a scientific reality in any way shape or form.

“His biological sex was previously female” 

BUT WE KNOW WHAT BIOLOGICAL SEX IS WE SWEAR; Damn they spend 7 minutes on “transpeople know biological sex exists” and then keep acting like they fucking don’t.

After that they point blank say that gender identity is more important than sex, having someone who passes as an exemple. What about transpeople who don’t pass? How much you bet this will never be discussed in this video.

Anyway they follow that with that : 

Which is true but defining what a woman is does affect women actually (I know weird right)  so it’s completely irrelevant to the discussion here.

“When a large group of transpeople are telling you something is wrong please listen to them”

��please afford women the same courtesy. We are a large group of women saying males are not the fucking authority on what womanhood is but we are told to shut up. Listen.

“we cannot take the behavior of the minority [online abuse] and group it onto the majority” 

I agree with that statement but the majority still didn’t condemn the abuse. Honestly the people in this video did -just before saying HOWEVER but hey – but it is pretty rare to see TRA actually confronting the people who abused JK Rowling online, they cheered them on more than anything.

It is very telling how they spend more time in this video saying people collecting screenshots of the abuse JK Rowling suffered were “not cool” than the TRA giving them a bad name by actually abusing JK Rowling. They even say Jammy was also insulted online so TERF and TRA are as bad as each other right ?? Being called delusional or idiot is not the same as death threats sorry Jammy. (I doubt the “freak” one was from a terf tbh but even then, this is not even comparable) I mean didn’t you get at least one person saying they were going to kill you ? Because I did, and I have ,like, 200 followers. I find very weird that the woman here said “I received sexual assaults threats and this is as a cis woman!” as if women weren’t the primary target of sexual assaults threats. Yeah it’s the misogyny. What’s new.  You really should stop thinking you are somehow priviledged even when you are being sexually threatened ffs. What gender ideology does to a mf.

 “neither of these sides are innocent” 

oh come on, you cannot possibly means that the men who gave you sexual threats were terfs, this is ridiculous, you are just trying to excuse and diminish what people did to JK as per fucking usual.

 “persistent low level harassment” 

it hasn’t stayed low level tho. Stop trying to say you and JK are receiving the same abuse it’s embarrassing.

JK Rowling’s essay having real life effects on policies for exemple has an element of thruth ,even tho we disagree on wether or not this can be a good thing but your are deluding yourself if you think people assaulting transpeople are the sort of people whose views are in any way influenced by feminists. This is laughable. Also please stop with the guilt tripping, we are not responsible of the mental health of transpeople, we are not their therapists, sorry.

I love how they implied that the guy who forced GNC kids to behave as their assigned gender would somehow give a letter of thanks to a feminist. This is implying “terfs” want the same things as this maniac which is just a straight up lie, terfs absolutely adore GNC people and are mostly GNC themselves.

“What rights of women are actually being eroded by the inclusion of transwomen ?” I am glad you asked !! Well apart from the freedom of speech since “terfs” are losing their jobs and being deplatformed because of this, we have the inherent dangers of replacing sex by gender in what the law protects : https://www.aclu.org/blog/speakeasy/firing-mom-because-shes-breastfeeding-sex-discrimination this is a link to a story about a woman who was said being fired for breastfeeding was not sex discrimination because men can lactate. Do you see the problem ? Moreover there is quotas for women in politics etc….Women fought for their quotas and now males can have them, who do you think an employer would prefer someone who probably will be pregnant at one point or someone who never will ? and let’s not forget the right for women to have women only places :Women in prison are raped by the trans identified males in it .

“I cannot think of a single right that is removed from me”

 good for you maybe you should have actually researched radfems talking point before doing this video ? Your ignorance is not a good argument.  

“transwomen can use the women changing room because they are women” 

you keep saying that but apart from “they feel like women” you didn’t explain how they are women. This is the basis of this entire video and you never explained.  Also allowing any person who say they are women into the women’s changing room does not only allow transwomen does it ? It also allows lying freaks.

“You can protect cis women’s rights and transrights simulteanously” HOWWWWWWWWWWW, please tell me how to keep female only spaces (women’s right) while saying TWAW (transrights apparently according to them).

“transwomen can be the victims and cis women can do the voyeurism” 

true but did you forget we actually live in the real world and in that one males are much more likely to be sexually harassing people than women ? It is a brazen form of lying to tell women that since theoretically other women can also be creeps they don’t have to worry about males. Get a grip. Live in the real world for a change.

“It doesn’t reference transwomen but men pretending to be women” 

apart from “they feel it” you still haven’t told us what the difference is. You are aware nothing from an outside perspective distinguishes the two right ??

“there is no evidence of men pretending to be trans to enter female only spaces” and how would you know they are pretending ? This is the same problem again and again, if you define transwomen as men who feel like women then there is absolutely no way of verifying someone really is trans. And that’s a lie anyway since we do actually have proof of that happening?? There was that video making the room on radblr a while ago of a clear male pissing in the women’s bathroom saying (lying) that he was trans.

Yeah actually radical feminists would accept transmen in their bathrooms, but it’s not an easy question with an easy answer to know how to check they really are transmen. Although notice how they are again only talking about transpeople that passes ? I would feel safer with Jammy in my toilets than Hannah Mouncey for exemple :

  That is so obvioulsy a man in a dress.

“ If a transman with a beard and penis and balls can go into a women’s toilet and that is deemed okay because of his biological sex what is to stop a cis man from doing the same”

 I am sorry but are you saying a transwoman cannot have a beard and penis and balls ?????????? This is incredibly transphobic of you, you said that gender identity Is just feeling like a gender, how exactly does that mean transwomen cannot have beard ? If you want to know, radfem are arguing for a third toilet for transpeople, that’s our solution. What is yours ?

 Ok the next part is racist I’ll skip that thanks

On accusation of TERFery intimidating people and organizations “we haven’t seen these” again, your ignorance is not an argument, I am posting these on Tumblr where cryptoterfs arer numerous. Why do you think that is ?

Are they seriously saying Nike and addidas “accepted” transpeople because they “realized it was the right thing to do” ?????? Those companies employs slaves IN WHAT WORLD DO YOU LIVE IN??

“trying to make transpeople look crazy” 

the clownfish things were said online by real transpeople. We don’t need to invent thing to make transpeople look crazy, if there is  large enough group some people belonging in that group will say stupid shit .

“We support these rights”

 when speaking about women victims of abuse. This is a lie, the Vancouver rape shelter relief is often targeted by transactivists, recently a gofundme for it was cancelled because of transactivists, they are quite litteraly stealing money from raped women. This is not a small, inconsequential part of transactivism. 

“The trans-inclusionist views expand the meaning of women to include transwomen”

 It doesn’t expend shit actually since it excludes transmen and non-binary. If anything it reduces it.

They go on to say that transwomen deserves protection as women because of their murder rate. It doesn’t explain how being seen as women will help them here and anyway it’s a bold lie considering their murder rate is actually quite low. They also fail to consider how depriving transmen and nonbinaries of those same women’s right might be a problem.

Again they make the distinction between transwomen and men pretending to be transwomen without a way to identify which is which. This is starting to get repetitive and tedious. The problem is not that all transwomen are predators is that there is no way to see a difference until the predators acts, until a woman gets hurt, so accepting transwomen is accepting predators and saying transwomen feelings are more important that the women being hurt because of this. I disagree. The tiny tiny percentage of transpeople doing bad things is actually the same percentage as men doing bad things. If your argument could be used to say women only spaces shouldn’t exist at all because not all men are dangerous maybe you should reconsider your argument because I will not reconsider women’s right to have female only spaces.

“If you push transwomen out of female only spaces you push transmen in”

 Yes. I don’t even see where the problem is here.  Now why don’t we analyse the fact that if you push transwomen into female only spaces you push transmen out of them ? I don’t think transmen belongs in men’s prisons, do you ?

“Transpeople don’t dispute biology and don’t impact how female only diseases are treated” 

eat shit. They do impact this, every woman trying to say “female biology” get shit thrown at her faster than you can blink, stop lying to me Jammy. Do you think I would get called a bleeder, a fetus carrier, a motherfucking birthing body if transactivism wasn’t trying to erase sex ? Don’t you think the sentence “men can have periods” is not eroding biology ? Fuck off

Back to JK, Jammy is saying her disabling comment on her blog was not conductive to a conversation, I have to salute the straight face he says it with because do you really think a nice educated conversation would have taken place on JK Rowling’s essay ? They flooded her children’s book tag with porn for fuck sake.

“Thre is no explosion in young women who wishes to transition” sources ? Because it does seem to be true :https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/jsm.12817

“the detransitionners rate is actually really low” hard to know but most people who transitioned did it not so long ago since transgender is a recent trend, we will have to wait and see to have a more robust number. But maybe they are right on that one, this is not going to be the one argument that changes my views unfortunately. 

“Does that mean we should stop people from getting plastic surgery then ?” 

lol you don’t know the radfem stance on plastic surgery do you ?

“There is more significant transphobia than homophobia” 

sources ? Because transition is used as converstion therapy in Iran so it is at least untrue in one country. 

“If transmen transition to escape womanhood why is there transwomen ?” 

You really didn’t research this did you ? the radfem answer is that transwomen are either gay men who have gender disphoria OR AGP (autogynephiles) read this if you want to learn more about it: https://grahamlinehan.substack.com/p/the-elephant-in-the-room

“why would people who have male privileges choose to give that up” 

you are assuming they lose their male privileges but I will need sources on that because most transwomen do not pass and are treated more as special men than as women.

“We have already shown you that transphobia is far more rife and damaging than homophobia” 

did I miss that part ? When ? You just said that ? Without backing it up ?

“anti trans narratives constantly contradict itself” 

No we do not, we are feminist so we OF COURSE we analyse men and women differently, this is an issue of gender which radical feminism posit as an hierarchy, trying to explain transwomen and transmen with the same arguments is doomed to fail because they were not equal in their relation to gender to begin with. Do you think black people trying to pass as white do it for the same reasons white people try to have more black features ? Of course not.

“What am I a lesbian or a homophobe ?”

 You are both, you are a lesbian in denial with a deep case of internalized misogyny and homophobia. You know yo can be both sexist and a woman right ? Well it’s the same here.

I heard “Simone de Beauvoir” and I knew they were going to be really fucking stupid with that “One is not born a woman but rather becomes a woman” quote and THERE IT IS! Please read the book. She is not saying male can become women if they try hard enough, she is saying basically the same thing JK Rowling’s quote said which is that “womanhood” as it is forced on women is alien and not natural and the point is that we should not accept it, it’s a feminist quote on femininity and I am so sick of men using it to say that they are women.

Transactivists acting as if sex recognition patterns don’t exists is exhausting so I won’t comment on “nobody checks if you have XX chromosomes before passing you over for a promotion” other than to say : passing over for promotions happens a lot when women are pregnant and after giving birth stop acting as if misogyny is unrelated to our reproduction capacities it is fucking insulting.

“transwomen will support [fights against tampon tax and FGM] too” 

FGM was a bad choice here considering transactivists tried to stop a bill against FGM .  I will need sources here actually since I never seen a transwoman fighting for women’s right in my life.

Ok I let a lot passes here because I’m tired but we are 48:40 in the video and fuck you “intersectional feminism” is not about males. It was for black women. It is not reductionist to say women are people with a vagina, this is just a definition, and one that applies to 50% of the population at that, there is litteraly no definition of woman that includes more people than that.

Imagine thinking “women are people with vagina” is reductionist but not calling women “vulva owners”. Please , I am begging for coherence.

“transwomen who experience greater abuse than cisgender women will ever experience” . 

This is revolting. I don’t have any other words. I am glad this is the end of the video because I would have stopped immediately if this was at the start. What abuse transwomen can experience than ciswomen cannot ? Because I would have thought forced pregnancy was horrific but maybe this doesn’t compare to being misgendered?

“most people are comfortable with transwomen going into women’s bathrooms” https://www.bsa.natcen.ac.uk/media/39147/bsa34_moral_issues_final.pdf

It says 13% of women are at least uncomfortable with sharing bathroom with transwomen, why are we ignoring their wishes? Because 0.1% of the population wants to ?  Whatever, the really interesting thing in this study is that for this question they defined “transwomen” as someone who has gone through all the steps to become a woman aka someone with surgery. I find extremely misleading that this is used for bathroom bills which defines transwomen as male identifying as women. Do you think the numbers would be the same if they specified the transwoman in question still has a penis ? Which is the case for most transwomen btw?

[saccarinepasserine]

so these are like The Very Basics of Deity Finding™**:

1. research

this isn’t a first step, this is the most important part of deity work and will factor into everything you do.

finding a deity you click with can be hard. to make it a little easier, instead of looking through lists one pantheon at a time, look for domains you connect with. poetry, magic, the moon, nature, agriculture, etc, and it’ll be narrowed down and less overwhelming. after that, you have to weed out which gods are from closed practices or cultures — vodou, most indigenous practices, etc are closed/require initiation — so that you know not to interact with those gods unless you’re part of the culture or initiated into it. if you think one of those closed deities is reaching out to you, you’re wrong, cleanse yourself and your area immediately and put up wards. once you’ve finished clearing out the closed deities, look at the ones that are left open. if any name in particular sticks out or feels different to you, do deeper research, go into multiple websites and books to find out who they are. if you feel connected enough to them, it’s time to go to the next part of deity work:

2. contact

this can be a very dangerous step if you don’t know what you’re doing. have wards or other protections set up and sturdy, make your intentions extremely clear so that you don’t draw any lesser or malevolent spirits into your space by trying to communicate with your chosen deity/ies.

when contacting a deity, going into it blind is an extremely bad idea and, in my opinion, intensely disrespectful. do your research, know who you’re talking to, and give some kind of offering beforehand. offerings and how to dispose of them will differ depending on the culture the deity comes from — some allow you to eat them, others don’t; some prefer alcohol, others want prayer or meditation, art or rocks or a lit candle maybe. most gods will understand that you’re only using what’s available to you if you clarify that you mean no disrespect and can’t offer much more. a good rule of thumb is if it’s something you want for yourself, give it to the god/s, to show that it’s a sacrifice you’re making to appease them. using culturally accurate offerings helps as well, though it’s not always necessary (this wholly depends on the god, you will be able to tell by your intuition whether or not the deity approves of your offering).

to actually communicate with the deity, there’s multiple different techniques. prayer, divination, godphoning (not recommended for beginners and also not everyone is able to do it, don’t feel bad if you can’t and don’t let it get to your head if you can), etc. some gods may prefer a certain kind of divination if you can help it — when i interact with the irish gods, they much prefer me to use ogham, and the norse ofc prefer runes. my personal buffer for all pantheons is tarot because it’s easiest to get everything in one reading if need be. pendulums are a very good place to start with deity communication via divination because they’re simple and easy to use and the deity can channel themselves directly into the tool rather than just influencing which one you pick up. this part is largely preferential, and will depend on your skills/preferences and your deity/ies’.

3. respect

always gotta have 3, a good number. but also, as obvious as this may seem, a lot of people don’t follow this! so i’m going to outline it anyway.

a lot of this can depend on your relationship with your deity, but some things are toeing a line that should stay uncrossed at all costs. remember: these are deities, ancient entities who can and will fuck you all the way up. infantilising them, treating them are soft and fluffy and rainbows and unicorns and shit, ignoring that they are powerful beings: that is blatant disrespect, and also just a weird thing to do, imo. don’t use them as spell ingredients, aka don’t only give them offerings or pray to them when you need something from them. that’s selfish, and not how you build a relationship with a deity. some deities will allow for nicknames or name calling, odin is very commonly called the old bastard or the old man, but other deities don’t like that kind of thing, so it’s best to ask them and get a feel for their energy surrounding the question before settling on a nickname. your relationship with a deity will very likely not be exactly the same as another person’s relationship with the same one — deities appear to people differently and while there may often be similarities, there are just as often differences. i’ve never met someone with a similar relationship with odin as i have, and that’s okay! it’s still odin, all of our experiences are valid even if they don’t exactly follow a pattern. deities with multiple domains may be with you for one thing but with another person for something different. disrespecting a person’s relationship with their god is almost the same as disrespecting the god themselves; everybody has differences, and so long as the relationship is healthy on both ends, it’s completely valid.

**this post was written to help a person in a discord server i’m in. these are just my tips, i’m in no way peddling this as the only way to do deity work. if you have other tips, feel free to add them, but if you fundamentally disagree with anything i’ve said: please keep it to yourself. i don’t have any energy to be arguing. just keep scrolling.

terfs/swerfs/radfems/gender crits/nazis/bigots/etc will be blocked on sight

[rowan-guerrins]

Queer Has always been a part of the LGTBQ community and used. The people who stared the pride move meant called the lgbtq com. Queer community. The people who hate queer are radfems and terfs who hate trans,bi and pan people.

Ok cool but literally queer was used as a slur. It doesn’t matter if LGBT+ people created it as a word, the cishets then used it as a slur. So a lot of people aren’t going to want to be called that you absolute human manifestation of the feeling lard leaves in your mouth. And to call a lesbian a terf who hates trans, bi and pan people just because I think that maybe the word queer shouldn’t be foisted upon LGBT+ people who DONT WANT TO BE CALLED THAT isn’t as original or cool as you think.

Also I’m not saying people who ID as queer, or who are comfortable being called queer are in any way invalid or bad it’s literally just that a lot of people DONT want to be called that and I think, oddly enough, that people should respect that. Like I know this about a post I just reblogged and LITERALLY in the tags I said it’s A-Ok to call yourself queer. As for calling others (you know are ok w it) queer, my stance is “sure ig but be mindful” because uhhhh cishets get real bold and think they can call LGBT strangers queer. So again in no way am I saying you can’t reclaim it that’s FINE but fools like you can’t make people reclaim it. Oh also to claim it’s terf rhetoric to not be comfortable with a word that— again regardless of its origin— was/is a slur is uhhhh really fucking brain rot central of you and not in the cool funny way.

Like sure maybe there are some TERFs who don’t like the word queer but literallllyyyyyy find a fucking braincell and understand that TERFs dislike it in a unique way that is tied to their transphobia. And again maybe take a second to pause before you hit that submit ask button to think about why you think it’s cool and okay to call a lesbian a TERF for not liking a word

So let me reiterate: if you are comfortable reclaiming it, or identify as it, then hell yeah! If another has reclaimed it and is okay with you calling them that, then yeah great just be mindful! If you meet someone for the first time and don’t know if they’re ok being called that then just don’t say it until you know their personal status, it’s REALLY not hard. But if you KNOW someone isn’t okay being called that and you do anyway all I’m saying is you’re a prick ✌🏻

[tmitransitioning]

Radfem-friend anon from earlier! My friend does (at least seem to) genuinely care about my transition and making sure I'm comfortable/getting gendered properly and cares about other trans people getting the same respect, and I find it really hard to believe she'd intentionally hurt anyone? I've also found myself agreeing with a lot of the radfem stuff she posts and it doesn't seem as bad as people make it out to be?? Idk if I'm being swayed, should I still be concerned about this?

Yes, I think you should.

It’s difficult to talk about stuff like this for a couple reasons. The first is that we run the risk of making radfem communities seem appealing through internet atrocity tourism—the urge that makes people, say, hateread blogs they don’t like or lurk in horrible subreddits to make fun of them. When a whole bunch of people tell you how awful something is, and you haven’t necessarily experienced that awfulness as a direct target, or haven’t seen someone you care about be a target, it’s tough to consider the harm that the thing has in the concrete rather than the abstract.

Then, when you have trouble seeing it as concrete and real and affecting people’s lives, it becomes a lot easier to say “well this doesn’t seem so bad”. The harm becomes hypothetical, and the thing in front of your eyes seems a lot more salient. This means that you don’t have a readily accessible “defense” in your mind that you can compare someone’s words to, and it makes it a lot harder to counteract what they’re saying to you.

Think about, for example, a homophobic relative that you see during holidays. Say it’s your uncle Steve. Every time Steve says something homophobic about Gay Marriage, you might think of your own relationship, if you’re part of the acronym community, or you might think about your gay friends Jean-Paul and Kyle and how they’re scared to hold hands in public. Your cousin Wanda is a lesbian, and just married, and she gets mad at Steve because she’d waited to be legally married for a very long time. These are personal connections. Steve knows that you have those connections, and he chose to say homophobic things anyways.

But your aunt Peggy is straight, and doesn’t know very many gay people, and she says you’re just being too hard on Steve. It’s not like he wants to personally deny gay people marriage licenses, and besides, she has a gay friend, Natasha, who thinks that you should just sit down and talk to Steve to convince him of your view. Maybe Steve doesn’t outright say “the gays are ruining marriage”, he just says that he thinks you should have to marry for the “right reasons”, and that you should have to “prove you’re really in a relationship”. These are statements that you might, on the surface, agree with—you think hey, marriage is a big commitment, maybe people should have to swear that they’re doing it for love. But Steve isn’t saying these things because he believes in the sanctity of love, he’s saying them because they don’t sound as outright homophobic.

Maybe Steve is a huge racist and is saying this about immigration. Maybe he’s saying it about disabled people on welfare. Maybe Steve is a TERF—instead of marriage, he’s talking about medical transition, and claiming that people should prove they’re transitioning for the right reasons, because it’s a big irreversible decision, and you should prove that you’re a real transsexual with real dysphoria in order to seek medical care. Some of these things, if you see them outside of context, you might kneejerk agree with—“hey, medical transition is a big and irreversible decision, maybe we should make sure that people are really sure before they do it”. It’s not a moral failure to kneejerk agree with these statements, because they’re worded very intentionally to get you to do that. They give you a little bit of truth (“many parts of medical transition are irreversible”) and then, once their foot’s in the metaphorical door, it’s a lot easier for them to get you to agree with the rest. This is literally called the foot-in-the-door technique.

TERFs apply this technique constantly. Online, it’s wrapped up in concern trolling—e.g. “don’t you think that we should protect children from being attacked in locker rooms?”. You want to agree with that statement, because who doesn’t want to protect children? Children being attacked is objectively a bad thing. The words that they say are explicit content—children, attack. These are what you read. The meaning of their words is implicit content—they are trying to get you to agree with the concept “trans women are dangerous”. In order to do that, they hide the target (trans women), often omitting the idea of the perpetrator entirely; it becomes a question of children, the “victims”, being “attacked” by a nebulous force on which your mind can project whatever it thinks is the scariest thing that children could be attacked by. Once they have you agreeing with that sentence, they introduce the next concept, maybe “did you know that men commit more violent crimes than women do?”. Again, explicit versus implicit content—the phrasing itself is not factually incorrect, and you want to agree with it. But they don’t mean men when they say the word, because they view AMAB trans people, particularly trans women, as men, and they’re trying to get you to make that association too.

This goes bit, by bit, by bit, until you’ve agreed to a whole bunch of premises that seem logical and then suddenly you’re tricked into agreeing to things that are very explicitly transphobic. All along the way, you’ll be praised for listening, for being logical, and for finding people who really care about you. Every time you agree with a statement, you will be reinforced somehow—your friend might say they’re happy you agree, or randos on tumblr might like your posts or send you hearts. If you agree with someone else, you will also feel a social link to them (which is why this article is so resonant; cw ableist language), which is inherently reinforcing—who doesn’t like to belong to a community?

And that is the second reason why it’s difficult to talk about things like this. TERFs call trans communities “cults” a lot, and will refer to people from said communities who interact with them as “desisters”, or frame them as escapees from some dangerous ideology. Ironically, TERF rhetoric is textbook cult tactics. But just me telling you that, even though it’s true, sets up this “us vs. them” concept—even though it is that, because they are inherently opposed to our existence. But because I’ve said those words, too, when you see something that doesn’t seem that bad, it doesn’t fit with the concept of TERFs in your head. So you think wait, maybe these people aren’t really so bad. And then they have an opening to try this kind of language on you, trickling it past you bit by bit until you’re in the middle of the river and being swept along.

That’s why I’ve written all of this out. I don’t want to tell you “cut your friend off and don’t read that”, because you’d likely go “wtf hell no”, and it doesn’t help explain why trans communities are largely so insistent about no-platforming TERFs. Instead, I want to urge you to evaluate everything you read with a critical eye, and to ask yourself “is there any hidden meaning to this language that I might not immediately see? what does this person really mean when they say this? what motivations could they have? what would people I trust say if they read this?”. That applies for everything you read, including from us—I generally try to lay things out in detail, personally, because I think that it helps people to be able to see someone’s intentions. You know, writing into this blog, that we’re a group of trans people who have an interest in not exposing ourselves or our followers to transphobia. You also know from Rabbit’s previous response that at least a few of us (some of our answers go through committee behind the scenes) feel strongly about no-platforming TERF ideology.

It is fully possible that your friend does legitimately care about you, just like it’s possible that your homophobic uncle Steve cares about you, his trans nibling, or like it’s possible that Peggy and Natasha are actually friends despite Peggy’s apologism. But you should be careful not to let that care and the social bond between you two overshadow the impact of someone’s words on the world. You might love Steve because he’s family, but he still lobbies his congressperson to challenge Obergefell v. Hodges and reverse the legalization of same-gender marriage in the States. You might have a friend who’s a TERF, or a radfem adopting TERF ideology over time, but you should examine the impact that the things she believes have on trans people’s access to legal recognition, medical care, and quality of life. Be wary, read with a critical eye, and understand people’s motivations so that you can protect yourself and others.

- Mod Wolf

[stonebutchgreens]

Mtt reduce womanhood to stereotypes and gender roles, and homosexuality to attraction to pronouns. They shout and shout about how real women are feminine, then don’t put any effort into trying to pass. Can’t get much more straight male than that. I’m not going to get into any argument with you. You can go actually look up what ‘terfs’ are saying for yourself. Instead of the lies others claim ‘terfs’ say. That’s all I wanted to say. Hopefully you go do some reading but I doubt it.

“You know what’s transparent? Straight men putting no effort, as is typical, into femininity while shouting about how femininity is womanhood. And there’s levels to this. Gay men who id as trans at least try to follow the feminine look, and it’s messed up they think that’s all women are, but it’s sad they’re struggling with themselves too. where as straight men who id as trans are just fetishist autogynephiles who of course don’t want to have surgery or try to pass.”

“What’s transparent is straight men who found a loophole to be allowed to harass lesbians doing the most typically male thing ever in calling themselves butch as a way to be ‘cis’ men while not having to change a single thing about their presentation. There’s so much transparent and awful there I could go on forever. educate yourself before saying mindless garbage straight manipulative disgusting men tell you to try and get in your pants.”

Ooooooh boy, okay. I am assuming that all three of these asks came from the same person. I considered not responding to this, because I don’t want to subject my trans followers to this shit, but I think it’s important to make it clear where I stand on this. I unconditionally support my trans friends and followers, even if I do not know them personally.

First of all, I would like to clarify that I know EXACTLY what TERFs are saying. I used to be aligned with the radfem community on Tumblr, although I never identified as a radical feminist myself. I was wrong and my beliefs were harmful. Being frustrated with the way liberal feminists discussed gender and feeling isolated because of my own experiences was no excuse for engaging with transphobic rhetoric. I did make a point of never following or interacting with people who singled out individual trans women or used slurs, but after awhile it became clear that even if individual radfems did not participate in this behavior, they condoned it from others, which is unacceptable.

So, I have done plenty of “reading” and have spent years considering and reconsidering my beliefs on gender. I have grappled with it theoretically but also very personally. You seem to think that I am making my ignorance clear in my tags. However, it is obvious that you know very little about trans women and have not taken the time to get to know GNC individuals who fall under the trans umbrella. The false dichotomy you create between “gay” and “straight” trans women in laughable at best. I know trans women who like men who present as masculine, as well as trans women who present as feminine who are interested in other women. (This is a ridiculous double standard anyway- cis women who like NB people and other women are also more likely to present as masculine than women who exclusively like men.)

Cherry-picking stories of a few bad apples in any given community does not prove that the entire community is malicious. Trans women who harm and harass other women do exist, but so do cis lesbians who harm and harass other women. Those “lists” of assault and harassment cases perpetuated by trans women that circulate on TERF blogs are fear-mongering and misleading. You could compile those for any group. Implying that trans women are just “pretending” for sexual reasons ignores the experiences of a vast majority of trans people. Sexualizing a group of people to dehumanize them is not a new technique lmao.

I think you would find that we actually agree on a lot of feminist issues, and could find some common ground in the way we view gender. In fact, I dislike much of queer theory and the way that some of my peers discuss gender, simply because it ignores the everyday reality of many GNC and gay people. But, you can’t say that gender is an oppressive and coercive system and then mock the people who try to exist outside of that framework. If you ask pretty much any sociologist or anthropologist, gender is and always has been a social status, and one that can change significantly and take on different meanings over time. Of course sex-based oppression exists, but modern sexism goes far beyond that, so there is never a reason to completely exclude of group of women from your feminism.

It is clear from the way that TERFs hyper-focus on harassing and excluding trans women over the other core tenants of actual radical feminism that you are more interested in bullying a group of downtrodden people than advancing the rights of women. Note that I do not use the term “TERF” liberally. TERFs are a specific group of people with a specific trans-exclusive ideology. If YOU are interested in doing more reading, I would recommend looking into trans authors and Marxist and/or Materialist feminism instead of Tumblr’s convoluted version of radical feminism.