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#anyways yeah that's why i said summer
alullinchaos · 2 months
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just realized the implications of zwei being named that but does that imply that someone in their family is from mantle/atlas.... summer rose atlesian real???
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caffeinatedopossum · 2 years
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That sad realization that not only did the undiagnosed autism lead to me not realizing my "friends" were actually bullying me the whole time I knew them but I was also unintentionally doing something similar to neurotypical friends because I didn't understand how we thought differently
#i just want yall to know that when i first wrote undiagnosed my phone autocortected that to undigested so. yeah#you heard it hear folks. autism is undigestable. thats why we all got tummy problems#anyway this is why is struggling with communication and maintaining relationships is a symptom#although my relationships always seem fine to *me* because im oblivious as fuck#and this is why autism questionnaires need to be phrased differently#alsp yeah. thinking about that one time i went to a summer camp and i joked about a girl in mine and my friends dorm#who was sleep talking that night. and one of the counselors immediately shamed me for bullying#like we were all there and awake. everyone already knew and laughed so i assumrd it was funny#but then suddenly *I* was being mean...? i understand more now but i wish someone explained it to me more gently#why did everyone laugh it was mean? i thought they laughed because it was funny#still dont understand why people laugh if something is hurtful. i didnt want to insult the girl either#i considered us friends and i was just trying to include her in the conversation#it was still not ok though...#theres another time that comes to mind when i said matter of factly that my sister was a liar#in front of her boyfriend who then very aggressively silenced me#i didnt understand why you would lie if you cant accept being a liar#it wasnt meant as an insult it was meant as the truth#but maybe if it was insulting she should stop lying#idk it was really weird#maybe this is why i didnt realize people where insulting me#because to them they were picking on me#but to me they were either stating a fact or falsely accusing me#i get embarrassed too of course but only because its whats expected of me#that makes me feel scared and inferior and alone. and thats what embarrassment feels like for me#it feels like everyone is unforgivingly looking at me with a magnifying glass
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lady-harrowhark · 1 year
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my mom just texted me and was like "did [your sisters] tell you that they're going to paris later this week?"
and of course i told her that no, they did not tell me that, because they don't really talk to me, and she was just like "okay. also your dad and i are going to florida at the end of the month."
thanks for letting me know, i love hearing about all the family vacations that i'm not invited to
to be fair, i would not want to travel with my youngest sister and it wouldn't have worked with my schedule or finances. and they've taken several other trips together that i haven't been invited on, so that part's not new or anything, but still.
i'm also feeling kind of touchy about it all because i was just thinking earlier about how much i've straight up stopped telling my family because they either don't care or don't get it. like. they don't know that this morning i turned in a first author textbook chapter. or that i just set up my dissertation committee. or that yesterday the faculty made me assistant director of the university clinic. like i could tell them but honestly, most of the time them not knowing feels better than getting the flat "sounds cool."
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agustdiv1ne · 8 months
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just an anon popping in to ask if youve seen the preview clips of sookai on return of superman where those two babies gave them a peck on their cheeks and if youve been as emotionally damaged as i am 🥹🥹🥹🥹 and i simultaneously also hear my ovaries screaming LOLLL
yes. i cried. i don't rly like kids (well. some of them are cool idk) and i am sooo scared of getting pregnant HOWEVER that clip made my little grinch heart grow three sizes 😭😭😭 they are so good with kids wtf i would maybe consider going through the hell of having kids if one of them was the father </3
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cestacruz · 2 months
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Mmm Jeanne
#servants cant learn new stuff (i'll talk about jalter in a second) therefore#jeanne shouldnt know how to read or write#we actually Dont get a confirmation that she can do those things in summer 3. because the book that jalter thought jeanne wrote#was actually Her own book#jeanne works with marie. maybe she comes up with the ideas and does rough drawings that marie would be Delighted to bring to life#marie reads to jeanne is my image#jalter taught herself how to read and write and i think that was possible because of the unstability of her existence#if you try to teach jeanne how to read and write it will stick for a second but if like idk 15-20 min pass she would likely find herself#unable to read again and her writting to be suboptimal#she can sign her own name ofc thats historical#she can recite the bible from memory iirc#i love jalter's ability to be her own person even if it comes with the fact that she is very much. an ephemeral dream#like her FCKING SKILL IS CALLED.#WHY MUST YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS FGO#anyway. now jeanne again but physical#oughhh thank u for the support in the tags when i said jeanne should have self image issues because she looked different in life#i hadnt fully talked bout it i just went with hair but yeah. i need to check again because im pretty sure her body wasnt Suuuper different#but i just gotta confirm#but im just so i love the idea of her just not liking the way she manifested abd not knowing Why she manifested like that#when there are Countless depictions of her with her short brown hair#sieg looks to the side whistling (its not his fault but he knows the pseudo servant part#and its probably a mix of . fate apocrypha's manifestation and of how some people imagined jeanne looked like#but it still upsets her#not that she'd ever complain to people#you can probably get it out of her tho#unrelated and only to those who reached this far: im thinking of a singularity set in 15th century orleans in the Middle of the hundred year#war. but the difference aint “oh jeanne d'arc came back to life evil” rather than “there seems to be a battle here where it shouldnt and oh#my god is that jeanne- oh god jeanne d'arc fucking died--#and chaldeas has to try and fix the war without living breathing jeanne d'arc#actually thats not the middle of the 100yearwar but yknow what i mean. also haha jk unless...
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queenangella · 9 months
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#putting this in the tags bc I need to get this out but also feel kinda guilty about it so I don’t wanna scream it in a post#but I feel soo irrationally pissed at my friend#bc she’s one of my best friends and I love her but I haven’t heard from her all summer except for the like four times she answered my#messages only to immediately ask me something in return#it took her two weeks to reply to a meme I send her only to immediately follow up with ‘het remember how you said your parents wanted to#hire my band’#‘ahaha summer is so busy I’ve read all my books anyway you told me I could borrow this one book?’#last was ‘heyy sorry for not replying haha anyway im bored next week wanna go on a trip’#to which I replied ‘yeah I would love to but I have my internship starting next week remember’#and its like I don’t mind that she doesn’t answer my texts like god knows I hate texting#but its really starting to feel like our relationship is fully based on her needing me for something#which I have felt before but I kinda dismissed it as me thinking it was always me who had to take initiative which was disproved when she#asked me to meet up a few times but thinking back it was always like ‘hey let’s meet up for coffee’ and then when I arrive having literally#left the library where I’d been studying for only ten minutes bc otherwise i wouldn’t see her.#she’s like ‘oh I don’t want coffee anymore but I need to go to the supermarket wanna join me?’#which I always did bc I wanna spend time together and it’s cheaper for me than getting overpriced coffee but!!!!#anyway I’m feeling this now bc while she hadn’t answered my ‘sorry can’t go on a trip’ text I did just see that she’s currently in portugal#with another friend#which is like??? so she just found someone else to relieve her of her boredom and so she didn’t need me anymore so why answer me right??#anyway it’s probably not that bad and I will talk to her about it when I see her again which will probably be in a month I guess but for now#I don’t wanna ruin her trip
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stupidnaturals · 1 year
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#GAH hate not knowing how ppl feel about me#bc i used to be SUPER close friends w this person like they were ~25% of th reason i came back to my uni town after moving away last summer#and i keep texting them like ' hey we should meet up sometime! ' and they respond ' omg YES 100% i have SO much i need to catch you up on !#unfortunately i am out of town every single day. also so busy. '#and like yeah okay college very busy life very crazy. but how are you out of town every single day and also why have you NEVER reached out#and i saw them in person at target and they seemed genuinely pleased to see me! and also said something like#' we gotta hang out i have so much to tell you!! *ill* message *you* ' in a way that seemed to convey guilt at ^^ all that#but then how in the WORLD do you happen to be driving out of town immediately after the one event i know we'll both be going to???#and also casually gracing over the fact i also mentioned getting dinner beforehand??#also i dont know any reason they wouldnt like me unless its one of those ' im autistic and didnt notice you getting fed up w me '#or if theyre just actually that busy or too anxious to see people or anxious to reach out or fucking whatever#and like even when i saw them at target they told me a bunch of stuff that i dont tthink youd say to a random acquaintance#which if they do still like me makes sense! bc we were super duper close once! but doesnt make sense if they dislike me/want me to go away#like UGH just either ask me to hang out or say yes to a hang out or tell me to fuck off already!!!!#oh and ALSO the one time we DID have plans we didnt set an exact time but they texted me at like 11 and said ok we can hang out now until 2#or they texted me at 11 and said ' i work at 2 but i dont think thats gonna be a problem also are you okay w hanging w my roomies too '#and i know their roomies so thats fine but i was like ??? WHAT shouldnt be an issue? r you gonna call off to hang out for more than 3 hrs?#or are you gonna friend break up w me so it wont take 3 hours#anyway i was like uhhh shit we didnt set a time so im actually at a tattoo place like an hour away w my roomie?#so we rescheduled for the next day when uh oh they hung out w someone who was exposed to covid so had to cancel again!#i cant think of a single reason they wouldnt like me except that they never did but we had an activity together so they were stuck w me#and they seemed genuinely happy to see me and also seem upset declining plans but like if thats true what the FUCK is happening????#anyway this was a mile long if you e read this far i love u if you have tips feel free to reply or dm me
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canonbisexualbuck · 1 year
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nothing like that last minute scramble to fix my graduation application being cancelled :')
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inkblot-skyz · 1 year
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Thinking about how Undertale literally saved me from being a terf like. Damn this game has everything, great storyline, amazing music, terf repellent, great queer rep-
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msdk-00 · 20 days
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anyways knows i wouldn't be da talk of tim hortons if i wore a mask around still. the nans would spend a good ten minutes talkin bout me at least. did ya see ang's daughter. going around wit da mask on er face still. shockin. but she looks right like er mudder dudnt she.
i should give dem a lil smthn to think about as they eats their timbits n drinks their coffees. we don't have much goin on here they needs it
#this summer is looking up for me btw#i walked to tim's and didn't get stopped on the street or in the tim's by anyone#im still “traumatized” (jk)by the time my creepy coworker/employer once pulled over in the Middle of the road and asked me why i looked sad#and asked me to smile.#he also randomly gave me a marilyn monroe painting like a year after i stopped working there which he said i ordered i think??? but i#definitely didn't. he just saw i had a marilyn case when i was working there (friend gave it to me) so he asked if i liked her and i said#yeah instead of explaining it's from my friend secondhand n i'm just using it just bc i need a case#so he either found a print of marilyn monroe or he made a print on canvas (the workplace is a graphic design and print shop) to give to me#i always hated working with him he was unbearable#and often told me to not get involved with boys?#and also telling me to not get married. with regret in his voice. sometimes even when his (young) son was At the workplace.#this was before he divorced but it was obvious that it was going to happen before it happened#certain middle aged people you can just tell they are miserable with their life and he was one of them#meanwhile my other coworker was also a middle aged man i think like 50 maybe#super religious but super chill. talked to me about alien sightings and hatsune miku and his wife would come in sometimes to bring him a#lunchbox n she's lovely too. anyways he never made weird comments to me about boys or asked me to smile so he's the better coworker by far#men can be lovely beings when they're not weirdos to women#anyways. that's a tangent#back to stardew
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tealares · 5 months
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we share so many interests seeing danganronpa (though not a current interest was my sp/in for YEARS) on my dash genuinely gave me a heart attack 😭😭😭😭 i feel like so often when you reblog something from any fandom its like GUH BUH DOES .................does she know..? LOL [positive]
BAHAH OMG!!! u should tell me whenever i do rb something u like HEHHEHE
i have hyperfixated on danganronpa on two occasions of month-long timespans now ive acceptes it into my life. and nagito into my brain .
gosh i wonder what else im jumpscarin u with >v<
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cinnabeat · 6 months
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that post is making me remember summer school now and how off the walls what my teacher said to me was like literally who says that
#he was like#you act weird#and i was like HUH?#and he was like yeah youre like kind of quirky#or something to that affect and ive never been so offended#bc he said it to like reassure me it wasnt an insult i guess??#but he was very clearly clocking me as Weird and Different and had the nerve to say it out loud??#in like that thinly polite but actually insulting way people say things when they dont wanna seem rude when theyre saying something rude#and like ?? ive never had someone do that to me before which frankly is a miracle#it was so out of pocket like most people have the decency of being actual legit friends with me before discussing my personality#which is fine i like hearing how other people view me its interesting#but like?? i couldnt even tell you what we were talking abt or what it was that caught his attention#i think it was the way i was talking that did it either that or i was gesticulating too much#actually no it was definitely the way i talked bc id say shit like gesticulating and then veer abruptly into more casual language#that summer school class i took was fucking bullshit anyways why would you offer a precalc summer school course and then not have a math te#teacher capable of teaching it#and then they didnt even put me with the math teacher they put me with the fucking english teacher??? that C i got was entirely out of pity#bc i kept failing the last unit which was the thing i failed at in actual school#and since the math teacher was useless i had to teach it to myself which obviously was gonna go badly considering i fucking failed it alread#already but whatever#michi tag
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thoughtfulseason · 9 months
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yesterday coach brought up two of my insecurities/traumas from school which made cry when i got home and today i feel like my writing’s not enough 😩 pls treat me nicer
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joekeeryswife · 5 months
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Hi I wanted to request Felix and reader getting into a huge fight over rumors of him and India hooking up. Lots of angst that leads to fluff😭 thank youuuu
The party - f.c
hello honeys! first Felix imagine eeek. FELIX DOES NOT DIE AT THE PARTY IN THIS FIC! i’m too excited. i hope you like how i interpreted your request🫶🏼 anyways, i hope you enjoy this imagine! (lmk if i should make a taglist for Felix!)
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“Venetia, have you seen Felix? i cannot find him anywhere” you had been looking for Felix everywhere. you had left his side for two seconds to get a drink and when you came back he was no where to be found.
“i saw him with Ollie and i think her name is India? find Ollie, he will know where he is” Venetia said as she scanned the room to see if she could see her brother. you furrowed your brows, India was here? Felix hadn’t told you India was coming.
in the two summers you had grown incredibly close with Venetia, she was the sweetest girl and you were lucky that she was your boyfriends sister. “i’ll keep looking but if you see him, please tell him i’m looking for him” Venetia nodded “of course, don’t worry about India. i didn’t know she was coming either. but good luck okay?” she winked.
the house was huge, one of the biggest houses you’d ever seen and finding him would be nearly impossible without some sort of indication as to where Felix was. you went into the garden eyes darting in every direction seeing if you could see the tall boy anywhere but it was no use, it was like he completely vanished.
“y/n darling, are you okay?” you heard Elspeth say as you huffed, you turned to look at her and nodded slightly. “yeah i’m okay, i’m just looking for Felix is all” she smiled “he couldn’t of gone too far, don’t worry about him. i saw him with Ollie and some girl, maybe check the library? or the maze?” you nodded and thanked her as you started making your way toward the maze.
the maze was where you and Felix liked to go when you wanted some alone time. even though you both loved spending time with his family, sometimes the two of you just wanted to be alone and the maze was the perfect place for the.
as you started making your way through the maze you saw Oliver walking back out. “Ollie thank god, have you seen Felix? i’ve been looking for him everywhere” he jumped when he saw you “y/n, what are you doing here?” his thick accent filling the quiet maze.
“Elspeth told me you’d be in here and she said guy were with Felix. is he down here-” you started to walk down the maze but Oliver quickly stopped you. “y/n you don’t want to go down there” your heart started pounding.
“why?” you looked at him and by the look on your face you knew something was happening. “he invited India here. me and Felix had a fight and the two of them came in here. when i came here to apologise the two of them were hooking up. i’m so sorry”
you felt your eyes fill with tears and your heart dropped. Felix was cheating on you? you knew the two of them had some sort of history before you and Felix got together but that was two years ago. you felt your chin quiver and a few tears slip down your face. just as you were about to walk away Felix and India came round the corner.
Felix saw you and the smile on his face dropped when he saw your face. you had tears rolling down your cheeks, he quickly started making his way toward you but you just shook your head and started walking out of the maze.
“y/n sweetheart what’s the matter?” he called out but it was too late, you’d ran off. Felix was confused, Oliver had been told by his mum that he could invite anyone he wanted so he invited India and a few other girls from college.
he left India standing there to chase after you, he was still utterly confused as to why you were crying. he brushed past Oliver who felt like he had succeeded, he had tricked you into believing that Felix had cheated on you which would no doubt lead to the two of you breaking up which mean Oliver could have Felix all to himself.
he saw you running into the house, brushing past the hundreds of people which filled practically the whole house. Venetia saw you crying and was confused, what could have happened in that short amount of time.
Felix lost you in the crowds of people but spotted his sister and briskly walked toward her. “Venetia, have you seen y/n? she was crying and i need to make sure she’s okay” she frowned “i think she went to your bedroom but i’m not too sure, she went in that direction” by the time she had finished her sentence he was already gone, running off to his bedroom to find you.
he ran up the stairs to his bedroom and put his ear to the door, he could hear your small sobs and his heat broke. he knocked on the door and walked in, seeing you sat on his bed with your suitcase half packed with your belongings. “what’s the matter? why are you packing your stuff?” he frowned.
“i don’t know Felix, why don’t you tell me?” his frown deepened. “don’t act so innocent okay? i know everything. and it’s a shitty move that you brought her here. you have no idea how embarrassing this is” he could control the small smile that formed on his face as he saw your jealousy peak through. he thought maybe you were jealous that India was here, not that he was cheating on you with her.
“what? are you a little jealous?” he smirked “i can’t believe you’re making a joke about this right now. i’m going home” his face fell. he made his way over to you “what happened, i’m sorry for whatever i did” he pouted but you scoffed and rolled your eyes “yeah well i don’t think sorry is gonna cut it this time Felix”
“okay i seriously have no idea what you are on about. why are you so upset” he tried to sit next to you but you scooted away from him. a whole batch of fresh tears filled your eyes, your head fell into your hands as you tried to hide how hurt you were. “come on baby, talk to me” he placed his hand on your leg and stroked it gently.
“don’t call me that, not after what you did” you pushed his hand away from you as a few tears fell. “what did i do? you’re confusing me” you looked at him with bloodshot eyes “you slept with India.” he looked at you and burst out laughing “what?” you wiped your tear stained cheeks which probably had mascara all over them.
“Oliver told me that you invited India here and that you two slept together. this isn’t funny Felix, i’m serious. i’m going home tomorrow” you sniffled and he shook his head “Oliver told you that? and you believed him?” you shrugged “well, the two of you looked very friendly when you came walking around the corner so yeah i believed it”
“that is the silliest thing i’ve ever heard. i would never ever do that to you.” he placed his hand on your cheeks and placed a delicate kiss on your lips. “i’m too in love with you to cheat on you” he kissed you again.
“why did Oliver say that? he said that you invited India and that he went into the maze to find you to apologise because you two argued and then he said that you two were having sex” Felix frowned “what? having sex in the maze? no that’s not what happened at all” he shook his head.
“Oliver invited India and he got mad because she rejected him, we argued because i told him to not invite her and he did it anyway. i knew her being there would upset you. i was only being nice to her because her friends left her” he explained, his hands falling from your cheeks.
“i’m sorry i was so mean to you” he shook his head “im sorry that i laughed at you, i honestly thought it was just because you were jealous i didn’t realise Oliver told you that. ill speak to my parents, see if they can get rid of him early” he smiled.
“you know i love you, don’t you?” his eyes started into yours, he hated that you were hurting. you nodded “i love you too” he kissed you passionately.
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moonlightspencie · 2 months
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darling, i fancy you
Description: James Potter is in his second year of university. He's with his friends, having the time of his life! His only problem... a horrible, evil, beautiful, wonderful girl who doesn't seem to return the feelings he's developing for her. His dramatics and flirtatious antics usually work. He just can't quite figure out how to hook this girl.
Pairing: James Potter x Reader
Warnings: drinking, idiots to lovers, reader is described as american in one line because what is fanfiction if not a bit of self-service on occasion
Word Count: 8.2k
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Coming into his second year of university was supposed to be fun. He was no longer jittery or nervous about classes since he’d already been there and done that for a full year. Besides, he was James Potter. Of course he had gotten down the routines like they were nothing to him. It was easy as pie. Now, as he brimming with confidence, he was looking forward to seeing old friends, and meeting new ones. It seemed bright and exciting: and it was, so far! 
Until his second day.
James walked into his final Thursday afternoon class and sat in a seat near the front. He might enjoy goofing off here and there, but he’d be damned if he was going to do any less than stellar in his classes. The class filled fairly quickly, seats being taken all around him. He barely noticed when a girl sat in the seat next to him as he pulled out a notebook and a pen. Until he turned with a small smile that melted off his face as quickly as it arrived. 
“Great,” he grumbled under his breath. 
She looked in the direction of the utterance curiously, blissfully unaware that one of the last few open seats, and the one she just had to choose, was right next to James Potter. 
“Perfect,” she muttered bitterly, shaking her head. “I suppose you’re going to try to get me to convince my roommate to fall in love with you again, yeah?”
“Not after last time.”
She scoffed a laugh. “Oh, yeah? Why’s that?”
“Because you’re selfish and don’t care about the happiness and general wellbeing of others.”
“Right. As if your happiness should be my number one priority,” she rolled her eyes. “You’re insufferable.”
James turned his head to her abruptly, feeling quite put off that she’d say such a thing. Him, insufferable? He thought it might do her some good to do a bit of self reflection, and had told her as much last year. It didn’t do any good, obviously, considering she was still just as irritating as ever. 
“She’s dating someone anyway. So you’re out of luck,” she said, seeming quite pleased with herself. 
James was annoyed again. “Dating someone? Great. That could’ve been me if you weren’t so horrible, and now I’ve got to wait until they inevitably break up to—”
“She’s dating a girl, so good luck with that plan of yours, Potter.”
James blinked in surprise. He supposed he never exactly saw Lily with a boy before. But… But he liked her so she couldn’t possibly be interested in girls. What a silly notion, he thought. 
“You’re sure?”
She stared at him for a moment. “Uh… yeah. Pretty sure.”
James hummed in thought. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t know until summer,” she shrugged. “She came out to me shortly before she told me she’d been asked out by her current girlfriend.”
“How odd.”
“Excuse me?” she asked, looking at him with a bewildered expression. 
His eyes widened. “No! Not like that. I just… I didn’t realize. I just assumed—”
“Careful how you phrase things, maybe,” she said, looking at him a little suspiciously. 
He nodded quickly. “Right.”
He fell silent for a moment. A few blissful seconds that she basked in. Until he opened his mouth again.
“I just…” he said, then sighed. He thought for a couple seconds. “I don’t think I’ve ever not been able to win someone over before. And this seems pretty bleak for me, doesn’t it?” 
She snorted a laugh, nodding. “Yeah. More than bleak, I’d say.”
James smiled a little, then internally scolded himself. There was no reason to laugh at a joke a girl like her made. How terrible. He was better than that. He straightened in his seat, determined to ignore her now that he really had no use for her with his precious Lily too far out of reach for even him to pull in, all things considered. He pouted for a bit, feeling terribly sorry for himself as the class started. He took his notes, of course, but not without sighing every five minutes or so. 
“Can you cut that out?” 
James looked offended again, glancing at the girl. 
“Cut what out?” he whispered back. 
“The constant sighing. It’s irritating.”
“I’m upset.”
She rolled her eyes, going back to taking notes. He fell silent, but only for a few seconds. 
“You try finding out the girl you’re in love with is gay.”
“For me, that would actually work out.”
James rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean.”
“Get over it,” she said after a beat. 
He glared at her, then went back to his notes. Again, really only for a few seconds. 
“Wait. Are you gay, too?”
“So what if I am? That’s not really your business, is it?” 
“I— Maybe not. But I’m curious,” James said, looking at her. 
“Stop talking.”
“I just wanna know.”
“You sound like a child,” she sighed, exasperated. “You’re distracting me.”
James gave her one more sour look before turning back to his notes. He was feeling quite annoyed now. Maybe it wasn’t necessarily ‘his business’ what her sexuality was, but he couldn’t help but be curious. Why was that his fault? He couldn’t quite figure it out. He waited until the class ended this time to turn to her again. 
“I don’t mean to intrude—”
“I’m sure you will, though,” she stated. 
James sighed. “You’re so difficult. I’m only curious. I don’t mean anything by it.”
She huffed a breath, then looked at him straight on. He raised his brows in question, hoping she might answer if he tried looking innocent enough. She shook her head. 
“It’s a bit of a rude question, you know?”
“How?” he asked, feeling a little offended. 
“It’s personal.”
“Well I—“ James started to argue, though his voice died. His eye twitched slightly as he thought about it for a few seconds. “Okay. I guess… I guess that makes sense. I just thought it was, like, knowing your hair color or something like that.”
“Personally, it’s something I usually only discuss with my friends. Not with a strange boy who I’ve only spoken to when he decided he liked my roommate.”
“That’s mean.”
“We aren’t friends.”
“It’s still mean,” James said, standing up with his bag. 
She did the same. 
“It’s honest.”
James pouted a little. “I’m only trying to make conversation.”
She looked at him for a moment, and he looked right back, his hand on the strap of his bag. He quirked a brow when she was silent for a second. 
“I’ll see you around,” she said at last, not unkindly, but definitely not in a friendly manner. 
Of course, James had to relay this ridiculous interaction to his roommates when he got back to his flat. He sprawled out on the couch, his hand flipping off the side to touch the floor and his cheek pressed against the cushions. 
“She’s evil. There’s something in her that isn’t right. I’m sure of it.”
Sirius furrowed his brow. He’d been hearing about James’s plights with this woman since last year. It always seemed that his buttons got pushed so easily by her, and Sirius couldn’t help but wonder how on earth James kept getting himself into these situations
He sighed softly, leaning back into the armchair to the left of James, a hand running through his long, dark hair before settling over his face.
 “You’ve been dramatic plenty of times before, Prongs, but this might be a new height you’ve climbed to,” Sirius said, his voice slightly muffled through his hand. 
“Mm. Not quite evil to keep that sort of thing to yourself. I don’t run around campus advertising that I’m queer,” Remus added, walking into the living room with a cup of tea. 
Remus settled on the ground near Sirius’s chair, leaning his back into the arm of it as he stretched his long legs out. He did plan on doing so on the couch, but it seemed that James had beaten him to it with his dramatics. 
“That’s not what I mean,” James groans. “It’s how she acted. I don’t care if she keeps that to herself, but she didn’t have to be so mean to me. It’s like she delights in making me feel stupid.”
Peter laughed from the chair across the way from Sirius’s. “It’s not always hard to do.”
James scowled at the boy, but before he could say something back, Sirius sighed loudly. 
“James. Just back off of the girl.”
James turned to Sirius. “What do you mean?”
“If you ignore her, she’ll ignore you.”
“How do you know?”
“Because she probably finds you just as irritating as you find her,” Remus says pointedly. 
“You guys are supposed to be on my side,” James says.
His friends all exchange a look, then stare back at him. 
Sirius leans forward on his chair to come to eye-level with James. 
“James. You are like a brother to me. I love you dearly. But leave the poor girl alone before she hits you.”
James buried his face in the couch cushion and groaned loudly in protest. Maybe they were right, but he didn’t have to like it. He knew he was being dramatic and probably a bit annoying, but he couldn’t help it. He hadn’t met someone who got under his skin so easily in a long time, and he didn’t like it. After a few minutes, he lifted his head, looking at his friends. He didn’t like to upset them, and he was afraid if he kept this up, that he might do just that. 
“You guys want to go get dinner on me?” he offered. 
They smiled, Sirius in particular shaking his head at his friend in amusement. James felt a little better then as he scrambled off the couch. 
James’s first encounter with the girl of his dreams, who he begrudgingly accepted no longer could be, happened a few days later. He walked into a café just off of campus to get a little fuel for his first essay of the semester when he saw a familiar head of red hair. His first instinct, of course, was to rush her with a smile and that classic Potter-charm of his… but then he deflated. 
There she was: the wretched girl who had stolen his dear Lily from him. He looked sour for a moment, then sighed, shrugging it off internally. He supposed that he couldn’t really be mad since he wasn’t also a girl, so Lily wouldn’t like him no matter what. 
But if he was, he was determined he’d be very upset about the whole ordeal. 
He sat down at a table across the small coffee shop, inadvertently staring at Lily and her girlfriend. He had to admit: the girl she was dating was very pretty. And they did seem happy together. But it was still a little bit annoying. He hardly paid attention to someone approaching with his drink until he heard an unfortunately-familiar voice. 
“I would tell you that a picture would last longer, but I don’t think I can condone borderline-stalking my roommate,” the girl said, setting his latte down in front of him. 
He looked up at her in a bit of surprise. She just seemed to pop up everywhere. 
“What are you doing here?” he asked. 
She looked down at her apron, then back at him with a puzzled expression. 
“I— I work here?” she stated, shaking her head a bit. “Thought you may have gathered that from me bringing you your drink and wearing an apron.” 
He deadpanned, unamused. “I just didn’t expect to see you here is all. It’s like you’re everywhere.”
“It’s been like a week and half and we’ve seen each other twice,” she said, huffing a breath at his dramatics. “Anyway. Is there anything else you need, besides maybe a magazine or a blindfold?”
“Why would I need those?” he asked, immediately annoyed. 
She pointedly looked at Lily and her girlfriend, then back at James. He made a face of realization, then chuckled a little despite his better judgment. 
“Oh. No. I’ll stop staring, I’m just…”
She paused waiting for him to finish, but it didn’t seem like he was going to. She nodded slowly after a beat.
“Well… it’s been a pleasure as always.”
James nodded, but then he leaned forward to grab her wrist. “Wait.”
She turned around, giving him a look that told him to let go immediately. 
“Sorry,” he said quickly, dropping her wrist. “Just wanted to ask if you got that western civilization assignment done for tomorrow.” 
“Tomorrow? Tomorrow is Tuesday.”
He raised a brow. “Yeah. It’s a Tuesday-Thursday class.”
She paused, looking a little lost. “What?”
“It’s on Tuesday and Thursday evenings. The assignment is supposed to be done for tomorrow’s class.”
“You’re joking.”
James shook his head. “No. Why would I be?”
“Shit,” she sighed heavily, throwing her head back. “How hard is it to do?”
“Not hard, but it took some time.”
She groaned. “God, I feel so stupid.”
“You’re not stupid. Just forgetful, obviously,” James laughed. 
She did not look amused. “Right. Well… Fuck. Thanks for the heads up, then.”
James looked quite pleased with himself. He actually got a ‘thank you’ out of her. He nodded quickly. 
“What would you do without me?” he smirked.
She glanced at him, looking somehow even more unimpressed. James didn’t like that look. 
“I’d have missed one class. Don’t give yourself too much credit.”
James watched her walk off, feeling annoyed once again. It’s like she couldn’t help but ruin his mood every time they talked. He sipped his latte, and suddenly felt more irritated: this might have been one of the best latte’s he’d ever had, and she just had to work there. Great. 
He kept his eyes on the girl as she walked back behind the counter, getting started on whatever task came next for her. She seemed to be making some kind of drink. He watched her as she flitted around back there easily, taking note of the way she’d occasionally scrunch her nose in a weak attempt to adjust her glasses as her hands were full. He took in every detail of her outfit that he could see from the other side of the counter: a simple black t-shirt and jeans that looked annoyingly good on her. Like it wasn’t enough to be irritating all the time, she had to be pretty, too. How was he supposed to just ignore her completely? He scoffed to himself at Sirius’s stupid advice as he sipped at his drink again.
That same thought snuck into his head as she walked into class the next day, dropping into that same seat right next to him. He took note of her slightly messy hair, and the crewneck sweatshirt that hung on her a little loosely. He looked at her nails as she pulled out her laptop, smiling a little at the baby blue that was painted on them. He liked blue quite a lot. He was in the middle of looking at the minimal makeup on her face, especially the gloss on her lips, when she just had to interrupt him.
“What are you doing?” she asked, looking at him as if he’d grown a second head.
“None of your business,” he replied quite defensively.
“You’re staring at me. It feels like my business, Potter.”
He rolled his eyes. Why did she always have to be so difficult? It’s like she had fun making him feel like an idiot.
“I wasn’t staring. I was observing.”
She sighed, softly, shaking her head as she went back about her business, logging into her laptop. He tried really hard to remember what Sirius had told him and just ignore her as well as he could, but it wasn’t exactly his fault that she had a photo of herself and some guy on her computer.
“I thought you were gay?” he said curiously.
She turned her head to him slowly, and if he thought she looked at him like he was stupid before, it was nothing compared to how she looked now.
“What?” 
“I thought you said you were gay,” he clarified, though it made nothing clearer for her. He pointed at her laptop background, “but, there’s a boy with you on your computer.”
“I never said I was gay. I said it wasn’t your business if I was or not.”
“But you must not be if you have a boyfriend.”
“Ugh,” she groaned. “That’s my brother, nosey. And I’m not gay.”
“Thought you said that wasn’t my business?”
“I’m going to slap you.”
“That’s what Sirius said,” James replied, though it was mostly to himself.
She snorted once. “Your friends are telling you you’re gonna get hit by someone?”
“By you,” he corrected.
Now, this piqued her interest. She looked at him curiously.
“Your friends tell you that I am going to slap you? Why?”
“I told them we don’t really get along. Sirius thinks I should just ignore you.”
“You’re doing a shit job of it,” she laughed a little.
He wanted to be annoyed, but he couldn’t help but smile a bit back at her. She had a nice laugh. He thought to himself that maybe he’d like to hear it more. It would certainly be better than the grating sound of her always being annoyed with him.
“Can’t help it if I’m curious.”
“You can help if you’re peering over my shoulder at my personal laptop.”
“I’d hardly call it peering. Plus you have a large screen, it’s easy to see.”
She cracked another small smile against her better judgment, and decided on ignoring him the rest of the class. It didn’t work. At all.
“So…” James started up when the professor decided on padding the rest of the class time with an ‘opportunity’ to get a headstart on the next assignment. “Did you end up finishing that assignment that was due today.”
“Clearly.”
James furrowed his brow. “Huh? How is that clear?”
“I’m a mess. I look like I just rolled out of bed, because I practically did in order to finish the assignment today before the rest of my classes. I haven’t even been in my apartment since like eight this morning.”
James still looked on in a bit of confusion, glancing over at her again, taking in her appearance. Sure, she wasn’t extremely put together, but she still looked pretty. James, ever the one to speak exactly what’s on his mind, decided on telling her that.
“I think you look really pretty today.”
She swallowed once, looking at him in a moment of mild shock. She usually wasn’t one to clam up around anyone, but she certainly was now, and James took notice.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything…”
“No. No, it isn’t that. I just…” she trailed off, then shook her head. “Nevermind. Just… work on your assignment. It’s what we’re meant to be doing anyways.”
“Oh. Right. Sorry,” James nodded, feeling a little bad now that he’d apparently made her uncomfortable.
Though, as much as it was a sense of discomfort that she felt at his compliment, there was also much more to it. Not that she would ever tell him that. No, it was much worse than the normal annoyance she felt for the boy when he looked her up and down and gave her that sweet smile. It was terrible and evil and made her face a bit warm. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, his cheek smushed in his hand nearly making her smile being all the more evidence: she was developing a crush on James Potter.
James was in the process of waking up on a cold Saturday morning in early October. Usually he’d be able to pull himself out of bed somewhat easily, only really needing a good shower to get his blood pumping for the day ahead. The ‘process’ part came into play as a rare, true hangover made him feel both dizzy and like a rock stuck in bed. 
He wasn’t a stranger to a late night of drinking with his friends, or a party here and there while he was at school. Even in his highschool days, he would sometimes sneak out from under his parents’ watchful eyes with Sirius to go live it up for a night. But it rarely resulted in an actual hangover. Sometimes a headache, occasionally he’d throw up before bed, but this? This was hell on earth. He was convinced. It certainly didn’t help that he hardly remembered past drink number seven the night prior. He decided on not letting the frat boys fill his cup anymore.
After an hour of laying in bed, he finally decided that it might be time to at least try to join the world of the living. He rolled off of his mattress, shuffling into the bathroom to take a cool shower. He effectively did as much, only having to bend over the toilet bowl to empty his stomach twice! He was quite proud of himself for that, considering he felt nauseous the entirety of the shower. He stumbled back into his room, haphazardly drying off his body and hair before slipping into a sweater, jeans, and a warm coat. He slipped on his boots, grabbed his keys, and walked out the front door. He thought that maybe his favorite cafe would have something to lift his spirits and fill his now-empty stomach. He also thought that maybe a certain girl might be working. That would definitely lift his spirits.
He walked into the cafe around 11am, finding it surprisingly empty for a Saturday afternoon. He had started making a habit of visiting the place probably more often than he needed to. He knew the usual flow at this point.
He frowned when his favorite table was taken, and ended up dropping into a seat near the back by a window after he had ordered. He sat his order number marker on the table, and waited for a familiar face to show. He started to smile when he saw his coffee and a chocolate pastry being set in front of him, but it dropped as he looked up to see a less familiar man. He thanked him anyway, despite the fact that he was quite disappointed. He picked at his pastry, and sipped his drink, letting the carbs and caffeine make him feel a bit like a human being again after such a rough night. He decided to stick around for a while after he finished both, just sitting and thinking. He always liked being alone with his thoughts, but they seemed to flow a little better with the hum of something in the background. A cafe full of people did the trick for the day. After an hour or so of staring out the window, he decided he could use another cup of coffee.
He went to wait to order behind a small line of people, fiddling on his phone until he was finally called up to order next. A smile grew on his face when he saw who was taking orders now.
“Hi!” he said to her cheerily.
“Oh. James. Hi,” she said, a little surprised to see him. “What can I get you?”
“You weren’t here earlier. I got here a little past 11, and some guy brought me my drink.”
“Yeah. I just got in at 12. So… what do you want to drink?”
James ignored her question with another smile. “How long are you working today? Don’t you normally come in earlier?”
“Five hour shift today,” she said with a small sigh. “I just didn’t start early this time.”
“Oh. Well, it’s good you’re here now. I’d have hated to admit that I might have missed you when I saw you in class on Tuesday.”
She fought a smile at that, determined to remain irritated at him.
“Are you going to order? You’re kind of holding up the line.”
“Right!” he exclaimed suddenly, looking up at the menu as if he didn’t get the same thing every time.
“Do you just want your usual?”
James stilled at that. She knew his normal order? He smiled a bit to himself, trying not to seem too delighted at that fact. But he shook his head quickly, even though that’s exactly what he planned on getting.
“What’s your favorite drink?”
“I like the lavender oatmilk latte.”
“Lavender? In coffee?” He made a sour face.
“James,” she said, somewhat shortly as he dawdled. 
“I’ll have one of those, then.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yeah. But if it’s gross, I’m blaming you.”
She smirked a little as she shook her head, typing in the order.
“Alright. It’s in,” she said, nodding to the side for him to get out of the way. 
“But I didn’t pay.”
“It’s on me,” she replied. But, she continued before he could think it was too sweet, “It’ll get you out of the way faster.” 
He nodded, giving her a thanks with a shy smile. He went back to his seat, expecting that same wretched boy to come back out instead of her with his drink. Though it certainly took a long time for him to do so. Just as James was looking over his shoulder to see what was taking so long, he saw that same familiar face coming towards him with a mug of coffee. He smiled up at her as she set down the mug.
“I thought you were on the register.”
“I was.”
“But you just had to come see me, right?”
She scoffed a laugh, rolling her eyes. “Enough out of you. I came to ask about the test on Tuesday.”
“Oh?” he asked, looking down into the coffee she brought. It didn’t look gross, at the very least, but he still wasn’t sure about lavender in his coffee.
“I can’t find my notes from two weeks ago anywhere. Do you think I could borrow yours by any chance?”
“You want to borrow my notes?”
“You can be an idiot sometimes, but you’re not stupid. Unfortunately, you are actually really smart under that…” she gestures vaguely at him. “You know. Your whole vibe.”
“Hey!” he exclaimed, pouting a little.
“It’s a compliment.”
“Still mean. I thought you Americans were supposed to be nice.”
“I think you’re thinking of Canada, but I mean it in a nice way.”
He huffed a small sigh, tilting his head as he looked up at her. She tried not to look at him for too long, sure she’d start grinning for real this time. Why did he have to be so handsome? And so annoying. And ridiculously charming. She merely quirked a brow at his silent tantrum, waiting for him to speak again.
“I guess. You can have my notes, but you have to come get them from me at my apartment.”
“You can’t just email them to me?”
He smiled. “Nope. I take ‘em on paper. You can come get them.”
“It would be easier to take a photo of them.”
“I want my roommates to have to meet the girl who hates me so much anyways. They’ve been dying to properly see you without me having to point you out across campus.”
“You talk about me a lot?” she asks with a little smirk, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Enough,” he smiles at her brightly. “Come on. Just humor me.”
“I don’t have your address,” she argued weakly.
He laughed a bit at that. God, she was adorable when she was being difficult.
“Give me your phone, then.”
“What for?”
“I’m going to put my address in. And my phone number so I don’t always have to try to catch you here or in class when I want to talk to you.”
“Who says I want to talk to you?”
“I think you secretly like me.”
“I think you’re annoying.”
“I think you secretly like me, even though I’m annoying. You’re trying to tell me I’m not a delight to be around?”
She sighed softly, clinging hard onto that small sliver of irritation, even if it didn’t do much good against the boy. She pulled out her phone, unlocking it and handing it over to him. She watched as he typed in all his information, and even took a cheesy little selfie for his contact photo. 
“No, no, no…” she said, trying to take her phone back when he started messaging himself.
He put out his arm with a giddy grin, blocking her from getting the phone back as he continued on his path with the other hand.
“How else was I meant to get your number?” he giggled, hitting send and handing the device back to her. “Just wanted to make sure you wouldn’t be the only one with the option to contact me. If you were the only one of us who could text, we’d never get the ball rolling on a proper friendship.”
“Maybe I don’t want to be your friend,” she snorted once, pocketing her phone again. “You’re a nuisance.”
“I’ll see you tonight then, right?” He ignored her poor insult. “To get the notes, I mean.”
She fell quiet for a moment before begrudgingly nodding. “Yeah. I’ll see you then. When will you be home?”
“For you? All day.”
She rolled her eyes again, but she couldn’t help but fight a warmth in her cheeks as she turned to get back to work.
As it turned out, much like she was suspecting, letting James put his number in her phone, and consequently exchanging numbers, was a horrific idea. It seemed that every time she went to check her phone, even if it was the middle of the night, he had something to say. Whether it be an actual message or just a strange meme he found online, he was constantly sending her texts. She was convinced he was testing out a kind of exposure therapy. That maybe, in his head, if he kept bugging her all hours of the day she would learn not to act so annoyed by him. To his merit, he was mostly right. But it helped that she was harboring a secret crush on him to begin with.
James, on the other hand, was getting non-stop reprimands from his friends. Every time he pulled his phone out and started typing, they’d groan in annoyance, knowing exactly who he was trying to talk to.
“Mate, you’ve got to lay off the poor girl,” Remus grumbled softly, his head dropping onto the back of the couch when he clocked James texting her in the middle of a movie night with the boys. 
“I just thought she might think this movie is good. I’m recommending it,” James shrugged a little, still typing away.
“She probably doesn’t care,” Peter said casually.
“Shut up, Pete,” James huffed, setting his phone down. Though he left it up to make sure he’d see exactly when she texted back. “It’s funny. She likes funny stuff.”
“You’ve got it bad, Prongs,” Sirius shook his head as he came back into the living room from his brief excursion to the bathroom. Remus pulled him right back into his lap as he came out, hugging him tightly.
James looked at them, making a disgusted face and groaning. 
“You guys aren’t allowed to talk about me when you’re always clinging onto each other like that.”
“You’re just jealous,” Sirius smirked.
“Maybe I am! I have to watch you two cuddling all the time, all in love. It’s sickening,” James crossed his arms as he looked back at the television. “I shouldn’t have to watch that and hear about how I shouldn’t text a girl I fancy.”
Remus and Sirius shared a look. Remus then set his sights on James with a raised brow.
“So you fancy her now, do you?”
“Shut up.”
“Just saying,” Remus chuckled. “When we started the school year you said she was evil. Now you fancy her.”
“She is evil. She doesn’t like me back,” James sighed dramatically, slumping in his seat. “I don’t get it. Girls loved me in high school. Then all of a sudden we’re at uni, and the first girl I like turns out to be a lesbian and the second one thinks I’m annoying.”
“Poor boy,” Sirius cooed at his dear friend jokingly. “You’ll find one soon. Maybe she just isn’t the one for you.”
“But I want her to be! It isn’t fair. She probably doesn’t like English boys at all. I bet that’s what it is.”
“What?” Remus asked incredulously.
“She’s from the States. I bet she only likes, like… farmers or surfers or something stupid.”
That earned a laugh from his friends, brushing off his dramatics as usual. James merely pouted to himself as he watched the movie until his phone buzzed next to him. He grabbed it like his life depended on it when he saw who the notification was from, smiling like a giddy child as he read the message.
“alright. thanks for the rec, I’ll check it out :)”
He giggled a little to himself. “She sent me a smiley face! You guys think that actually made her smile? I bet it did.”
His friends merely sighed, ignoring him again since he wouldn’t have listened to their response anyways as he typed away.
“Maybe we could watch it together some time! I think my friends would really like you. They didn’t get to know you well enough last time they saw you since it was only a couple of minutes. You should come over!! :)”
He sent the message, but as soon as the excitement calmed down a smidge, he sent another message.
“If you want to, of course. I don’t want to pressure you. But I do want to hang out with you. I think you’ll like me if you decided to stop hating me lol”
“Sorry, that sounded weird”
“I just mean that we could be good friends, I think. You’re funny and cool, and I’m also funny and cool. It’s like we’re made for each other haha!”
“I don’t mean it like that. You know what I mean, yeah?”
“Fuck, mate, you writing a novel over there?” Sirius laughed with wide eyes, looking at the phone in James’s hands.
“I keep fucking up and sending weird stuff,” he groaned. “Trying to do damage control.”
“Not much damage control to do when she already talks to you in person,” Sirius retorts with a smirk.
“Shove off, Pads.”
His phone buzzed again.
“right lol. maybe sometime? do you plan on talking through the whole thing though? you tend to be a motormouth, you know lmao”
He let out a breath of relief, smiling to himself again when he saw that he didn’t screw things too badly.
“I’ll be quiet during all the important parts at least. Promise!”
He waited for a moment, staring at the screen as a little text bubble popped up almost immediately.
“maybe then, yeah. i’ll let you know next time i’m getting too happy with my peace and quiet. or the next time lils and her girlfriend are making out in front of me again”
He laughed softly, ignoring the looks he was getting from the others as he texted the girl. They were all in happy relationships, they certainly were not allowed to judge him for being excited to be speaking to somebody cute.
“Might not be much better with Sirius and Remus here, but misery loves company, right?”
“Those are two of my mates you met when you picked up those notes a while back, btw. In case you forgot their names.”
“They’re dating now.”
He waited patiently, not even paying an ounce of attention to the movie still playing. Besides, if he was going to watch it with her again some time soon, who cares if he missed a bit of it?
“good for them, they’re probably super cute together. but yeah, i’ll text you next time then”
James smiled brightly.
“Great!!! I’m looking forward to it! We can order dinner and everything.”
“But not like a date.”
“Unless you wanted it to be lol. Just kidding. We don’t have to do that.”
“But I’ll still buy dinner so you don’t go hungry.”
He waited again as the speech bottle popped up, and frowned a little when it went away. Then, there was a little heart on the first message he sent about ordering in, which, to him, felt like everything. 
She was surprised with herself when she was all nerves before going to see James and his friends for that promised movie night. Though, she quickly realized that was incredibly silly.
As she got to know James’s friends, she kind of started understanding why he talked so highly of them. She adored them, and thought it was pretty funny that they always seemed a little bit lovingly exasperated with his antics. She couldn’t help but wonder if that’s how she’d start feeling about him, or if that bothersome crush would never fade into a casual friendship.
The answer seemed to come after Sirius and Remus ran off together after dinner, and Peter left to go hang out with his girlfriend. She didn't expect to find herself opening up to the Potter boy so easily about her past, nor for him to become so serious and thoughtful when talking about his own. 
She really didn’t expect for herself to say yes to hanging out with him again. And again. And again.
It’s like he somehow found his way under her skin. She knew he was capable of such a thing from how he was easily able to bug her from their first meeting. It was exasperation at first sight. But the way he charmed his way into her heart was an entirely new kind of annoying. He was all boyish smiles, silly stories, and dramatism… and it was fucking endearing.
But their tipping point came in March. 
Much to her chagrin, they had become close friends. They spent a lot of time together, and not just in the classroom or at work. She’d become friends with his friends, and James had become friends with Lily and Marlene after he finally accepted that Lily really wouldn’t ever like him. Though, realistically, he was pretty much over that the second he realized he had feelings for someone else. That slightly-grumpy, highly caffeinated, lovely, hilarious, complaining, sweet, smart, ridiculously difficult angel of a girl. 
The girl that made him embarrass himself in front of a party full of people.
He stood with Peter and his girlfriend at a table, chatting as they started sipping on freshly made drinks. James was, admittedly, probably a few too many in. But he couldn’t always exercise impeccable self-control, he decided. So, he stood there, staring at the girl from across the room as she danced with Lily’s girlfriend Marlene with a smile on his face.
“You look ridiculous staring at her like that, mate,” Peter said to James, nudging him lightly.
“I don’t know what you mean,” James snorted, pulling his eyes away from her to smirk at his friend. “Besides, I can stare at my girl all I want.”
“Only she isn’t your girl, James,” Peter reminded him.
“I’d like her to be,” James sighed dreamily, turning his head to look at her again. But this time, a frown overtook his face. 
She was now being tapped on the shoulder by some tall, terribly handsome looking guy. James’s stomach lurched a little at the sight. What did this guy think he was doing? 
He looked on for a moment as the two talked, growing more and more frustrated. He knew they weren’t together, but that was still his girl. He knew he had to take immediate action. This couldn’t just slide without consequence. James looked around the room almost frantically, trying to figure it out. How could he get all her attention on him instead of that stupid dude hanging off her shoulder?
Aha!
He pushed his cup into Peter’s hand, ignoring his friend questioning what on earth he was doing. He walked, though it was more of a drunken stumble, to the nearest table, clambering up on top of it. He cleared his throat, looking around as more and more people started looking up at him in confusion. Perfect! An audience.
He called her name over the crowd, looking at her intently until she turned to him with wide eyes, shrugging off the other guy that was still trying to get an arm around her. He smiled brightly, though she looked less than amused, shaking her head a little at him.
“I want everyone in this room, and… and everyone forever, everywhere, to know something. I am so, stupidly, madly…” he stopped as he stumbled a little, his foot slipping off of the table’s edge in front of him. “Shit!”
He crashed to the floor, scraping his hand on something on the table as he tried to stop himself from landing too hard on the ground. He winced, both from the tumble to the ground and the pain in his hand. What the hell was so sharp on that table?
“Ow,” he muttered, not even trying to get up yet, rubbing his head a little as he felt quite dizzy.
“James!”
He squinted up with a small, pained smile as her saccharine voice reached his ears as she came rushing over. He groaned a little when she dropped on her knees in front of him, trying to look at his hand. It was bleeding a little bit.
“You’re so fucking stupid,” she mumbled, but he still noticed the worry in her eyes. It made him feel good.
“I’m drunk.”
“Clearly,” she sighed softly, then stood, reaching for his opposite hand. “Come on. Let’s go get you home.”
“I didn’t finish what I wanted–”
“You need to get to bed. You’re a mess, Jamie.”
He smiled a little more at that little nickname. He loved it when she called him that. He agreed instantly to her at that point. How could he say no?
“Okay. Lead the way, mama.”
“...Don’t call me that.”
“Mm,” he shrugged, letting her help him stand up. He hung off of her, practically using her as a human crutch. “You’re so sweet to me.”
She stayed quiet, trying to bring him out of the room of people either staring or laughing at him. It was a miracle she got him home, but she did after a lengthy battle against the sidewalks and stairs. She sat him on his bed, making him stay put as she went to get disinfectant and a bandage for his hand.
He blinked slowly, looking after her with a dopey smile as she left and returned. She sat in front of him on the bed, taking his hand in hers. He barely whined at all when she cleaned off his hand, muttering something about him being a ‘clumsy, ridiculous cunt’. He thought it was cute how she could take care of him so well while still insulting him for being an absolute idiot. He reasoned that at least he would be her idiot. 
“Sorry, love,” he mumbled when she finished up with his hand. “But you’re awfully good at this stuff. Maybe I got hurt on purpose just so you’d take care of me.”
“No, you didn’t,” she said, practically force-feeding him some water. 
He swallowed. “No, I didn’t. But I could have. I like it like this.”
“You like having your hand all fucked up, and a room full of people laughing at you?”
“I like you sitting with me like this. Giving me alllll your attention,” he giggled. “Besides, you’re really pretty when you’re concentrating. I don’t mind getting hurt if it means you’ll do that silly little thing where your tongue sticks out a bit when you’re focusing.”
“You need to go to sleep,” she said softly, fighting a smile.
“But I didn’t finish what I was gonna say on the table.”
“Too late.”
“I don’t want you to go.”
“Too bad.”
He whined. “Please? That douchebag who was all over you is gonna go right back to it if you go back to the party.”
“I’m not going back to the party. And what do you even mean? What guy?”
“The one who was on you when I got up on the table,” he pouted.
She quirked a brow. “I don’t even know that guy.”
“That’s worse! He’s gonna steal you away!” James exclaimed. “That isn’t fair. I had you first.”
She swallowed once, looking at him curiously. “What?”
“I don’t like boys looking at you or… or touching you or talking to you or anything. You were mine first. They need to back off,” he said, getting increasingly irritated. “I don’t care if you think I’m annoying or you don’t like me. Doesn’t mean some other boy gets to just… take you.”
“Slow down,” she said, grabbing his arm. “First of all, I do like you, if not evidenced by us becoming friends the past several months. Second… some dude I don’t even know isn’t gonna come along and ‘take me’. That doesn’t even make sense. Besides…”
“It does make sense! You’re so beautiful, and funny, and caring, and really mean but in a way that is super hot…”
“I don’t want to date some random frat boy, James.”
“But they want to date you!”
“Who gives a fuck?”
“I do! I love you! They shouldn’t get to butter you up and take you away from me, it isn’t fair,” he groaned, tossing himself back onto the pillows.
As a result, he didn’t see her mouth drop open at the accidental confession, nor the way her eyes widened as she looked at him. 
“You love me?”
“What?”
“You just said you love me.”
James opens his eyes, though he doesn’t look at her. “...no I didn’t.”
“You’re a shit liar, Jamie. I know what I heard.”
He winced a little. “Well… maybe I do. That’s what I was gonna say on the table, anyway.”
“So you’re brave enough to say it in front of a crowd, but you get scared to admit to it one-on-one?” She snorted a laugh.
“It’s easier to not get rejected right away when we’re around other people. Then at least I could figure out your reaction when you were still far away,” he said meekly, finally looking at her.
“You think I’d reject you?”
“Maybe? You kind of hated me when we first met.”
“And now? Who do I spend every waking moment with, dummy?”
“...me?”
She merely raised her brows, opening her hands in an ‘obviously, dumbass’ kind of gesture. He smiled at her.
“So…?” he asked vaguely.
“So… you love me, huh?”
He merely nodded, looking a little sheepish and still pretty drunk. She was thanking her lucky stars that she was still extremely tipsy as well, or else she probably would’ve passed out from nerves.
“What if I said… like, me too?”
His eyes widened. “You too?”
“Yeah.”
“You love me too? Like, also?”
“Yes, like, also,” she laughed. “I’ve honestly had a crush on you since the second day of classes this year.”
“Really?” He smiled brightly. “Ugh, you’re horrible!”
“What?” she scoffed a laugh.
“You are evil! I’ve been saying it since day one. This whole time I thought I was an idiot for liking you so much, and you had a crush on me?”
“To be fair, I really didn’t want to. You were pretty insufferable,” she chuckled, brushing some of his messy hair out of his face.
“Then what changed for me?”
“Nothing. I just started thinking all of your irritating traits were becoming irritatingly adorable.”
“You think I’m adorable?” He giggled to himself.
“Don’t push your luck, Potter.”
“Don’t call me that. I like it better when you call me Jamie.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Makes me all soft and mushy inside.”
“You’re such a sap,” she sighed softly, leaning down over him to kiss his cheek.
He felt his cheeks heat up quickly at the sweet gesture, and even more when she didn’t pull her face away from his. He looked up at her with a soft smile. How could he not have fallen head over heels?
He leaned up slightly, glancing down at her lips before closing his eyes to let her make the first official move. He hoped she’d make that move. Butterflies fluttered in his stomach, and sparks all over his body when he felt her lips meet his for the first time. He smiled into the kiss, unable to stop himself from it.
He kissed her back, though it was admittedly sloppy with the both of them still fairly inebriated, James being even more so. But to him at the very least, it was perfect.
Against his preference, she pulled away. He pouted, as he usually did when he didn’t get as much attention from her as he’d like.
“You have to promise me something,” she said quietly.
His ears perked up. “Anything.”
“We won’t become annoying like Lily and Marls or Sirius and Remus.”
He grinned. “Does that mean you want to date me?”
“God, you’re dense,” she muttered against his lips, kissing him again with no intention of ever stopping.
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steddiecameraroll · 6 days
Text
“Happy two year anniversary on your crush, dingus.” Robin tosses a peanut at Steve’s head.
“Shut uuuup,” he groans into his arms after an embarrassing interaction with the one and only Eddie Munson only 7 min earlier.
“What did you get yourself? What’s the two year anniversary anyway? Paper? Wood?”
“Why do you torture me?” He softly hits his forehead against the top of the countertop near the candy rack.
“Because you deserve it.”
“He keeps getting hotter,” Steve whines.
“So you keep saying.” She crosses her arms and leans against the counter at Steve’s side.
“Did you see? Did you see that tattoo on his- under his- oh my god.” Steve waves his hand under his armpit. “That should be illegal. Why does he think wearing a tank top with that much skin showing is-is appropriate? If he shows up at my house in fucking cut off jean shorts again, I’m going to lose it.”
“Oh yeah?” Like she hasn’t heard this before. “You mean like how you said you were going to throw ice at him, if he showed up in those wranglers to help with your car? Or when you said you were going to bite him, if he wore that stretched out loose-necked band shirt? Maybe this time you should kiss him. Spice it up a little.”
“Shut up, those jeans are diabolical. No one ever said that cowboys had great asses.”
“Um, actually I think they did? Why are chaps assless?”
Steve stands up and thinks about that for a minute. “Oh, shit.”
“You gonna finally say something to him?” She’s thisclose to shoving their faces together.
“I don’t know. I don’t want to ruin anything.” Steve says with a sigh.
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Meanwhile…
“Idiot, idiot, idiot.” Eddie bashes his head into a pillow.
“It couldn’t have been that bad.” Jeff rolls his eyes.
“It was horrendously bad. He stared at me like I don’t know, like I grew a second head or something.”
“When are you going to just talk to him about it? Dude, it’s been two years. Two years of listening to you pine over Harrington. If you don’t tell him, I will figure out a way to tell him myself.”
“Et tu Brute?” Eddie grabs the collar of his shirt in mock horror.
“If you don’t tell him, I can promise you Dustin is mere moments away from piecing it together. The way you look at Steve when he picks the kids up? Dude, it’s over.”
“Oh god, don’t remind me. I know I’m on borrowed time!” He digs his fingers into his hair.
“Aren’t you going over there this weekend?” Jeff crushes his empty soda can and tosses it easily into his nearby trash can.
“Yessss, ugh the first pool party of the summer. I gotta find those stupid shorts.”
“You own shorts?”
“They were an old pair of Wayne’s jeans I cut into shorts. They’re a little loose around the waist so they don’t dig into me.” Eddie falls back onto Jeff’s mattress with a sigh. “Last year I could’ve sworn I saw Steve checking me out in them.”
“Dude? Fucking tell him.” Jeff groans.
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Steve rushes to the front door after hearing Eddie’s signature knock. When he pulls it open he’s unprepared for what’s standing on the other side.
“Hey, man.” Eddie smiles wide while holding up a six pack.
“Sh-shorts…,” Steve murmurs.
“Huh? Oh, I know my legs are whiter than white.”
“Come in,” Steve tries to even his voice.
“I’ll put these in the fridge.”
Steve walks behind Eddie as the man heads into the kitchen. Steve’s trying not to ogle. Honestly. He’s trying to keep his eyes off Eddie’s ass, objectifying him like he’s a piece of meat, but it’s hard when he keeps shimmying his hips to the music playing in the living room.
After Eddie slides the beer into the fridge he grabs one of the cold ones Steve loaded up earlier and kicks the door shut with his hip.
“Everyone else outside?”
“Yeah, I knew you were on your way so I was finishing up in here and listening for the van.” Steve grabs a bag of chips, rips it open, and pours into a big plastic bowl.
“Hey, did you know we’ve been friends for two years now?” Eddie bumps Steve’s hip with his own.
“Oh yeah?” Steve definitely knew that.
“Happy anniversary,” Eddie grins.
“Heh, that’s what Robin said.”
“She- Robin said happy anniversary?”
Shit
Steve opens his mouth trying to come up with something but shuts it again when it all sounds stupid in his head.
“Yeah, uh, she said something like we’ve been friends for two years.”
Eddie shifts and leans on the counter to face Steve. “You and her? You’ve been friends longer than that.”
“No, no, you and me. You and me have been friends for two years.”
Eddie furrows his brows while chewing on his bottom lip. Steve keeps his eyes pointed forward as he continues to situate snacks. They stand in silence for a beat and Steve feels like he should say something.
Eddie beats him to it. “Tell me something. Do I look ridiculous in these shorts?”
Steve feels his stomach drop because there’s no way he’s getting out of this unscathed.
“They were my uncle’s and I cut them up. Do you think I should cut them shorter, maybe?” Eddie turns around and looks over his shoulder at Steve.
Steve’s eyes flick to Eddie’s denim hugged butt before clearing his throat and looking away again. “I don’t know. They look fine like that.”
“Sure, but,” Eddie turns around and takes a hold of the hem of Steve’s shorts between his thumb and index finger. “Your’s are so much shorter than mine.”
Steve can feel Eddie’s knuckle brushing against his thigh.
“I may not have thighs like yours, Stevie.” Eddie leans into Steve’s space while continuing to hold the hem. “But do you think I could pull them off?”
Steve’s brain is malfunctioning because does he mean pull Steve’s shorts off? “My shorts?”
“Hmm,” Eddie grins and then looks over Steve’s shoulder like he’s making sure no one is watching. “I’m gonna do something that I’m praying you’re into. If not, please don’t punch my face.”
“What-?” Steve’s question gets cut off when Eddie places a quick kiss to Steve’s mouth.
It’s so quick Steve’s brain didn’t even realize it was happening until Eddie was already standing back in place. He stands in shock, lifts his fingertips to touch his lips, and gawks at the doe-eyed man before him.
“Was that ok?” Eddie’s leaning away.
Steve’s nodding before he speaks. “Yeah, mhmm.”
“Can I do it longer this time?”
Steve can’t speak but he nods without hesitation. Eddie makes a quiet noise before moving in and kissing Steve.
And it feels….
“I knew it!”
Steve pulls back and the two men turn to see Robin standing smugly.
“I knew it! Two fucking years.” She shakes her head before waving her hand at them and moving to the fridge. “Oh don’t stop on my account.”
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