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a-queer-seminarian · 3 years

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Hello, you seem to be knowledgeable about god. Do you know where to find him and what his weaknesses are? I have dedicated my life to hunting him down and killing him for the indescribable amount of suffering he has directly or indirectly caused.

cw: violent language, including about fighting / killing God; as well as discussion of the Shoah / Holocaust later on in the post

(gonna start this long-ass response by saying that yes, i know this anon is probably joking about dedicating their life to hunting down God, but i’m gonna answer it like they’re serious because that’s the kind of person i am haha)

honestly anon, all power to ya! it sounds like my own understanding of God is quite different from yours (for instance, i would claim that God’s main weakness is actually Their best strength, which is compassion and steadfast solidarity) -- but the question of why God allows suffering is one i come back to all the damn time.

if you do track God down -- if God turns out to be a Being that can be tracked down to one location and time -- please do deliver my regards and my sincerest “WTF??”

you’re not the first to demand God answer for the suffering that’s happened on Their watch --

for if God is truly omnipotent, and truly all-loving, why don’t they do something about all this pain??? Indeed, the Bible is rich with similar demands -- from the psalmists to Job to Jesus himself from the cross (quoting a psalm, he cries, “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me??”).

You might already know all this, but if not, the question of God’s place in suffering is often referred to as theodicy, at least in Christian circles.

That term comes from the Greek for god + justice, so what it literally means is “justifying (or vindicating) God”....which I’m not a huge fan of, because it implies that when we explore this question of where God is in suffering, we already know the result will be that God will be proven innocent (or at least “not guilty”).

But do we know that?? See the bottom of this post for an example of a time people of great faith found God guilty!

Anyway, theodicy describes intellectual efforts “to jerry-rig three mutually exclusive terms into harmony: divine power, goodness, and the experiences of evil.“ - Wendy Farley

If you want to learn more about theodicy and the way some theologians have “made sense” of suffering, check out this introductory post I’ve got.

Or wander through my whole #theodicy tag over on my other blog.

I invite you to explore theodicy not in any attempt to convince you of anything, but so you know some of the arguments you’re up against! Honestly, the more i explore theodicy, the less satisfied i am with any justifications for why God doesn’t intervene in the face of so much suffering...so if you do the reading and still conclude God is guilty, i’m not gonna tell you you’re definitely wrong.

Anyway. Like i said, you’re not alone in wanting answers for why God -- however, i don’t know that i’ve seen anyone else with your determination to find and kill God!

(Except, and i hate that i know this lol, that’s apparently the plot of the final season of Supernatural -- they find out God’s a total ass who not only is guilty of negligence but also directly responsible for a lot of suffering for his own sadistic enjoyment. so. they kill the bastard.)

Still, while i don’t know that i’ve seen too many people who want to take God out, the idea of wrestling God is pervasive -- especially within Judaism, but also among some Christians.

i’m very into wrestling God, myself, finding it far more faithful to the God who gifted us free will and invites us into true, mutual relationship than unquestioning obedience.

i have a whole #wrestling God tag over on my other blog.

For the most intense example of wrestling with God i’ve yet seen, with God put on trial and found guilty, keep reading.

_________

cw: discussion of the Shoah / Holocaust below

You might connect to Elie Wiesel’s play The Trial of God, or the movie that was made based off it. Wiesel survived Nazi concentration camps but ceased to believe in God after what he suffered. His play was inspired by something he witnessed while a teen at Auschwitz:

"I witnessed a strange trial. Three rabbis—all erudite and pious men—decided one winter evening to indict God for allowing his children to be massacred. I remember: I was there, and I felt like crying. But nobody cried."

Robert McAfee Brown wrote more about this trial Wiesel witnessed:

“The trial lasted several nights. Witnesses were heard, evidence was gathered, conclusions were drawn, all of which issued finally in a unanimous verdict: the Lord God Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth, was found guilty of crimes against creation and humankind.”

Note that in 2008 when commenting on this event, Wiesel clarified that “At the end of the trial, they used the word chayav, rather than ‘guilty.’ It means ‘He owes us something.’”

In the chapter “No God, Only Auschwitz” of his book Embracing Hopelessness, Miguel A. De La Torre comments on this verdict by explaining that if God wasn’t going to intervene, then God must at the least speak -- but instead, God was silent:

“God must be held accountable for refusing to speak to those yearning for God’s voice. Something. Anything. A note of solidarity. A testament of love, accompaniment. But they hear and receive nothing. The trial...ends with God owing us something.

De La Torre goes on to describe the play Wiesel wrote based on this memory, which actually takes place in a 1649 Ukranian village, rather than at Auschwitz. The Cossacks raid the village and kill all but two of its Jewish residents.

“In Wiesel’s play, he has the inkeeper Berish voice the same questions those sitting in death camps centuries later asked, if not audibly, then silently:

‘To mention God’s mercy in Shamgorod [Auschwitz] is an insult. Speak of his cruelty instead. ...I want to understand why. He is giving strength to the killers and nothing but tears and the shame of helplessness to the victims. ...Either he is responsible or He is not. If He is, let’s judge him; if He is not, let him stop judging us. ...

‘[I] accuse Him of hostility, cruelty and indifference. ...Either He knows what’s happening to us, or He doesn’t wish to know! In both cases He is...guilty! Would a father stand by, quietly, silently, and watch his children being slaughtered?’”

De La Torre continues with his own thoughts on all this:

“The horrors humanity faces indict God as being less loving and attentive than sinful parents. I hesitate to make any pronouncements as to the character of God because in the final analysis, I lack any empirical knowledge upon which to base my study. Still with all my heart and being I want to say: my God is the God of the oppressed who incarnates Godself among the least of these.

I want to make this bold claim based on the testimony of the gospel witness. But in the midst of the dark night, I confess this hopeful belief is at best a tenet accepted by faith, lacking any means of proving the truth or falsehood of the claim. In the shadow of Auschwitz, though I am not Jewish, nonetheless I am left wondering if the precious Deity who notices the fall of a sparrow is blind to God’s children crushed in the winepress. Do I dare wonder if God is the God of the oppressors?

...Or maybe this is a God who really wants to do good, but lacks the power to do anything in the face of inhumanity. ..."

There’s one more piece to this tale of Wiesel’s witness of the trial of God at Auschwitz. And that is that, after declaring God guilty (or chayav)...

...after what Wiesel describes as an "infinity of silence", the Talmudic scholar looked at the sky and said "It's time for evening prayers", and the members of the tribunal recited Maariv, the evening service. (McAfee Brown)

...That ending is the part that astounds and awes me. These Jewish prisoners at Auschwitz find God guilty -- and then proceed to pray as they always do. I am reminded of what my Jewish friends as well as various Jewish scholars have told me: that Judaism is totally compatible with wrestling with God and even with disbelief. Whether these Jewish prisoners believed God even existed, they prayed -- because that tradition of prayer is what unites them to one another, to their people.

As De La Torre closes his telling of Wiesel’s story,

“At the conclusion of the movie God on Trial, based on the events Wiesel described, shortly after the barrack inmates find God guilty, and those chosen are marched to the gas chamber, they cover their heads and pray. ...

Believers and unbelievers who took the audacious act of placing God on trial do what is totally illogical -- in the midst of their hopelessness they demonstrate their faith as they march toward the gas chambers, or they defiantly embrace who they are while still remaining in heated conversation, damning God. It matters not if God still hears their prayers, or if there even is a God to hear; they still pray, they still debate -- not for God’s sake, but for their own.”

And that brings me to the one bit of actual advice I’ll give you, anon:

If you want to spend your life “hunting God down,” as I said, all power to you! But I do suggest you ponder for whose sake you do so -- and whether you do so for justice or just revenge. What good does such a quest do for those who are suffering now? Are their other paths you could follow that would bring more good? What about your own healing? I imagine you’re not interested in repairing any relationship with religion -- would walking away from God rather than hounding God be a more healing and fruitful path for your finite life?

I’ll close with one more quote from De La Torre, from the very end of his chapter:

“As I stroll through what was once the concentration camp of Dachau, I am cognizant that this space witnessed the unspeakable horrors that befell God’s children at the hands of Christians hoping for a better, purer society and future. ...So do not offer me your words of hope; offer me your praxis for justice. ...In the midst of unfathomable suffering, the earth’s marginalized no longer need pious pontifications about rewards in some hereafter. Nor do they need their oppressors providing the answers for their salvation. What is needed is disruption of the norm to push humanity toward an unachievable justice.

When there is nothing to lose, when work does not set you free, not only are multiple possibilities opened up with new opportunities for radical change unimaginable to those playing it safe; but also a venue is provided by which to get real with whatever this God signifies. ...”

#theodicy #god's silence #god's absence #god on trial #wrestling god #...literally #suffering #embracing hopelessness #essays #Anonymous #holocaust /#shoah /#elie wiesel #yes yes i know this is a troll but hey. i like to talk about theodicy SO thanks for the chance to talk about theodicy at its most extreme

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iamtheprotagoneil · 4 years

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when i was writing my answer for the second part of this ask from alicia, i actually came up with a fic idea but since my schedule is pretty packed for a while to come, i probably won’t be able to turn this idea into an actual fic. so to keep this from fading away into the oblivion that is my awful memory, i’mma just do what ive made this blog for, which is rambling away:

there’s this hongkong tv show i watched ages ago, but one of the subplot really stuck with me. it follows one of the main characters on his journey to his eventual greatness. in this subplot, he’s stuck in an ice cage and, every night, he’d meet a girl (circumstances are a bit icky, but let’s digress). the ice cage is so dark and freezing that, to both of them, it feels more dreamlike than reality. they even prefer to each other as ‘mộng lang’ and ‘mộng cô’ which loosely translates to ‘dream man’ and ‘dream lady’.

later on, the girl (who turns out to be a princess) hosts an event to search for a consort (although, in honesty, she’s hoping to meet her dream man again). in the event, she hides behind some thick drapes that hide her identity, and asks her suitors questions that only her dream man would be able to answer – or answer correctly, anyway. the guy only comes to the event out of obligation, rather than any actual wish to be the prince consort. however, his intention changes as his turn to go ‘meet’ the princess comes, and then the questions, and then the realization that his dream lady is just behind those drapes.

i just find it so poetic that they only meet each other through bizarre circumstances, that they don’t even know of each other’s true identity, only falling in love with each other’s voice and wits. then, after a while apart, they find each other again, through sheer coincidence, and are able to reconcile on what they’d thought was only a lost connection.

which, ahh, makes me think of an AU, of sorts, for protagoneil. perhaps, they wouldn’t meet in an ice cage, but in a prison (idk, that’s just what my mind decided on), maybe in some place where they’re held captive in rooms next to each other, a place with rules so reclusive that they never get to see each other, only a voice as proof of the other’s existence. their situation – being locked up in a room with only a small window as indication that the outside world does exist, although distant – would make their interaction with each other so surreal, as if the other is nothing more than a figment of their imagination, another sign that they’ve gone mad in this captivity.

hell, we can make this even more tragic by setting in the tenet ‘verse, post-canon. perhaps a mission went awry, and the protagonist finds himself captured by some antagonists with greedy, self-serving purposes for tenet’s inversion technology. perhaps, the protagonist thinks neil’s voice – or whoever it is that sounds so much like the neil he once met – coming through the wall is just his mind coping to the loneliness and isolation. he’s never had problems with either before, but the circumstances are different now. now he’s got a ghost living up in his head, that he’s been missing and thinking about more than he’d ever admit to another soul.

i imagine their conversations can only be held in the night, spoken so quietly – barely above a whisper – so as to not alert the guards. the secrecy drown in complete darkness truly adds another layer of surrealism to it all. they never exchange names – the protagonist bc he doesn’t want to compromise himself, and neil bc well, if the protagonist doesn’t bother to offer name then why should he?

the things they talk about are simple, although unclear on whether what is true and what is warped into something not quite a lie, but close. they talk mostly to keep themselves sane (ironic, isn’t it?), to have a little distraction from the horrid things await them when morning comes.

i imagine the protagonist would wake up one day, call for neil, but get no answer in return. he tries more times, through many nights but still, no answer. neil’s just gone, so suddenly, and the protagonist can’t decide which sense of the word is worst. eventually, after a few more days of torture, of wondering and dreading, the protagonist finds his freedom.

it’s a joined effort, from himself and the tenet team sent to rescue him. i imagine the protagonist checking the room besides, finding it vacant of any furniture and living soul. he decides there that, yeah, perhaps the time in and out of inversion, paired with the isolation and torture he was put through, has really done a number on his mental state.

then, some months later, the protagonist would meet the voice in his head once again, but this time, with confirmation that it’s been real all along.

see, neil’s been moved to another holding facility. the antagonists have wanted him to work for them; have taken interests in the research he’s been doing on a particular field of physics and decided that he would be perfect to help them in their malicious plot for greed. neil... well, i wouldn’t say they broke through him, but he did agree eventually. the torture had been too much, and he was tired – he hated having to go back to the cell they were holding him in, facing this sickening dread as he questioned his sanity.

the voice in his cell had been a great reprieve from the undue punishments on his body, but not enough to completely elevate him from the pain of it. so he “broke”. he agreed to work with the antagonists, to save himself since it was obvious that no one ever would.

and that’s how the protagonist finds him again; when he breaks down the antagonists’ second location and discovers a compliant neil seemingly working for the people that was going to put a whole lot of lives in danger for their own greedy purposes. before they can say anything to each other, though, neil’s taken out by another agent – a sleeping dart placed carefully on his neck and pushed. the protagonist never did get the agents’ identity, having lost track of them in the midst of chaos going around him.

later, when neil is put in their medical care facility, the protagonist stands outside of his room, watching him sleep through the glass window and listening to a report about his conditions. it contains everything from the moment neil went missing from his london flat (presumed dead), to the time he’s spent under the antagonists’ captivity, to the point where they found him. then, the protagonist is shown a document, including various equations and graphs and terms that mostly went through his head.

he looks to the reporting agent, expecting a better explanation. the agent points out that the equations are wrong, but so delicately that she would’ve missed it if she hadn’t thought to take another, harder look.

“even if they’d gotten with it, their plan would’ve failed. that document you’re holding in your hand ensures that.” she turns to look at neil, regarding his sleeping figure. “he might’ve given into the idea of ever getting out of their claws, but he never gave in. he never truly gave them what they’d wanted from him.”

all of that winds down to one simple fact: neil’s passed the test, and the protagonist knows what that means. the protagonist has to wait a few hours for it, though; for neil to finally wake up and have his induction into tenet. in the meantime, he sits on the couch inside neil’s room, and waits, watching neil’s eyelids flutter in sleep, and feeling sorrow/rage/frustration grip tight to his being as he thinks about things that has and will happen to neil.

when neil wakes up, the protagonist is just right there to welcome him into the afterlife. he keeps his speech short, giving neil a brief overview of his situation, but neil isn’t really listening. the protagonist’s words blur together, not because of neil’s groggy mind, but because of a single, simple realization. it hits him so hard that he just can’t keep in the lone tear falling from his eyes. the protagonist sees this, and his heart aches – remembering how it’s felt when he was the one who was lying on the bed, getting told that his entire team had failed to make it out alive – and unlike his own recruited, the protagonist tries to comfort neil with, “listen, i know it’s hard—”

but neil just cuts him off entirely, reciting a phrase he’s said before, to the man he’s thought was just a dream his tired mind made up to keep him company at the late hours of the night. it stops the protagonist right in his tracks, staring down at neil, breathing harshly through his lips because he can’t believe it. he’s thought, also, but apparently, he’s thought wrong.

“i’m glad you’re real,” neil says, as he watches the same realization he’s experienced dawn on the protagonist’s face.

the protagonist takes a moment to respond, still a little bit stunned by neil’s words. then, he takes an easy breath, relaxing his tense shoulders, smiles down at neil - small and private, something just for the too of them - and says, “me too.”

because despite everything that had happened to them both during their time in that prison, they still had each other. they were there for each other, and the protagonist gets it now - the beautiful friendship that neil had alluded to. it is quite beautiful - poetic too, maybe - for them to have found each other in such a hopeless place, then lost that connect, then reconnecting it again because fate has willed it so.

the protagonist can’t help, even more so now that they are together again, looking forward to the things they will get up to - as promised. neil’s smile, sleepy yet sincere, tells him the very same thing.

#protagoneil #its only an idea so some parts are weird and super vague and just improbable #i really want to write it but damn i can't be profound enough to write something like this; and like i said my schedule is packed rip #and i have so many wips already ahhhhhhh #gotta finish them all before i can jump on any other projects and i just love this one to much to leave it there collecting dust #so here goes #if anyone wanna hop on this please do #you'll get my eternal love in return #also kudos for anyone who knows/figures out the show i'm talking about here #it's based on a very famous novel (that i have never read before; but have heard enough of it from my dad while watching the show with him)#(fun times; maybe that's why the show (or parts of it) really sticks to me hah)#idk what to tag this #*my ramblings #my prompt #ig???#i'll figure something out later but this will be it for now

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swissmissficrecs · 4 years

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Hi I love your blog! I now have 9 pages of fics marked for later so i'm not sure what that says about me but anyway I'm wondering if I can have some recs of fics where Sherlock is fluent in French and/or they go to France. (So I can tell myself I'm revising for French tests while reading fic). Thanks.

Reply: What a cool idea! There are obviously many more than this, since it’s semi-canon that Sherlock’s grandmother was French, but here’s what I found in my bookmarks:

Sherlock speaks French/goes to France

A Death in Harfleur by OssaCordis (22K, M, Johnlock) October 1415 Surgeon John Watson arrives in France in the days following the siege of Harfleur, only to find the English camp haunted by a series of suspicious suicides…Lord Sherlock Holmes wants nothing more than to understand the cause of these deaths, but finds a certain surgeon rather distracting…A slash retelling of A Study in Pink set during the Hundred Years' War.

Against All Odds by ravenscar (126K, E, Johnlock) When a Crusader crosses paths with an enigmatic young Briton in the Holy Land, their lives are changed forever.

France by SilentAuror (11K, E, Johnlock and Warstan) John comes home from his honeymoon to find that Sherlock has gone to France and everyone seems to be angry with him.

La vie en rose by weneedtotalkaboutsherlock (18K, T, Johnlock) The only reason why John took French class, well, was because Mary said something about it being the language of love. If John, at the time, had sneered internally, he propped his chin on the back of his hand and asked her to tell him more about it.Let it be said that John Watson is not entirely incapable of taking a clue.

Over Hill and Under Hill by khorazir (75K, T, Johnlock) John and Sherlock travel to France to tackle the Col du Galibier (of Tour de France fame) by bicycle, and the confused state of their relationship after Sherlock's return from the dead at the same time. A long journey, and a long climb ...

Reason Goes Before a Fall by Lorelei_Lee (27K, M, Johnlock, John/OMC) John Watson is just a man. A man whose tolerance for sexual frustration has almost reached its limit. The object of his desire? Sherlock. The problem? Sherlock thinks he's straight and John doesn't think Sherlock's interested. Sherlock is just a man too, but he doesn't want to jeopardise their friendship. The solution? A prostitute who looks a lot like Sherlock. This is never going to end well...

Siege by PlainJane (55K, E, Johnlock) In 1415, English archer John of Kenilworth is sent by Lord Mycroft Holmes from the field of victory at Agincourt to protect a remote French castle. Cherinfourde is under some dark cloud and John means to get to the bottom of it, in his lord's name. If only he could stop thinking about the most unusual omega he has ever met.

Song of the Dauntless Knight by antietamfalls (48K, E, Johnlock) 14th-century England. Sir John Watson and his knightly comrades return home from fighting for the Black Prince in France and enter into the household service of Duke Moriarty. Among the many castle denizens is Lord Sherlock Holmes, heir to his brother the Earl and long-time hostage of the Duke. An unlikely relationship soon emerges.

The Calming Effects of Tea by flawedamythyst (28K, E, Johnlock) Agreeing on a compromise is one thing, living with it is quite another.

The Iceman Cometh by Polyphony (60K, M, Johnlock, Viclock) Title from the Eugene O'Neill play of the same name. An intriguing puzzle tempts Sherlock to accept Victor Trevor's invitation to the French Riviera, but all is not what it seems. Frustrated by the case and increasingly concerned about an absent John, Sherlock uncovers far more than he was meant to and is forced to become a fugitive, pursued by those on both sides of the law, as he fights for his freedom and the lives of all those around him.

Tennis Series by Jupiter_Ash (216K, E, Johnlock) John and Sherlock are professional tennis players and it’s Wimbledon. One is a broken almost was at the end of his career, the other an arrogant rising star tipped for greatness. It should have been a straightforward tournament. It really should have been. How were they to know that a chance encounter would change everything?

Voulez-Vous by AlbaNix (5K, G, Gen) It’s an ordinary day at 221B apart from the fact that Sherlock is speaking in French. What John doesn’t know is that Sherlock has an ulterior motive. What Sherlock doesn’t know is that while John may not speak French, he’s almost fluent in Sherlock. [NB This fic has been deleted, link goes to Wayback Machine.]

I also found this list of language/voice kink fics from @pmastamonkmonk (scroll down, the post contains several lists).

And here are some from the original stories:

ACD Canon

An April’s Journey by Katie Forsythe (ACD, 13K, M, Johnlock) Set against "The Reigate Squire", Watson learns Holmes has fallen ill in France, and for another reason than simple exhaustion.

and you are its only tenet by Ellipsical (ACD, 6K, E, Johnlock) In Paris. John knows how to give his husband an anniversary to remember, but wait, Sherlock might have one or two tricks up his sleeve too...

Inside These Rooms by addicted2hugh (16K, E, Johnlock) The thought of losing Watson drives Holmes insane, which in turn leads to Watson investigating his strange behaviour. A lot of talking and even more kissing ensues. Oh, and a lot of Victorian smut, of course.

In Vino Veritas by gardnerhill (10K, E, Johnlock) Grafting is the process of adding something new to something old and established, which makes the whole stronger.

Learning to Speak French by tinzelda (16K, E, Johnlock, Viclock) Holmes tells Watson about his first case and reveals more than just the basic facts.

The Answer to a Question by A_Candle_For_Sherlock (22K, T, Johnlock) These are the stories behind the story we know: what really happened to Watson's marriage, and what made him follow Holmes to Reichenbach; what secrets were hidden in the mountains, and what a dead man wrote to the man he left behind.

#request #acd #ilikestopwatches #rec list

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satanourunholylord · 4 years

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Any advice for a young college satanist wanting to get into the satanism community (please tag my side blog @atheistic-satiniam when you answer)

Welcome. It’s always nice to see new faces, @atheistic-sataniam.

Ok, my first bit of advice is to know your shit. Learn to love researching. I write it all down in a notebook for future reference and I’ve found that it’s helped a lot so far. A basic understanding of what you’re standing for is kinda baseline but so important, especially when you meet bible thumping Christians (and If your campus is anything like mine, they’re on every corner popping up like wack-a-moles). My go to response to “would you like to join us for bible study in the spiritual centre this afternoon?” is to whip out my Satanic Bible and say “Would you?”. Best to be prepared. Don’t know how “bible thumper-y your college is though.

I can recommend these three resources for a basic rundown.

- The Satanic Bible by Anton LaVey The Satanic Bible is not seen the same way as Christians see their bible. It’s not really a sacred text or anything. A lot of atheistic Satanists actually completely dismiss LaVey and his work so it’s really up to the individual on what they think about it. This book is specifically good for learning about LaVeyan Satanism. Laveyan Satanism is slightly different to atheistic satanism as the 11 Satanic Rules of the Earth state that followers must “acknowledge the power of magick”. There’s still a lot in here that a lot of atheistic satanists vibe with though. He shares many good points that line up with atheistic satanist ideology because he was actually an atheist that just believed in the power of magick. I can go into this more if you want.

- Visit The Satanic Temple Library The Satanic Temple shares many invaluable resources for learning about atheistic satanism.

- The Invention of Satanism by Asbjorn Dyrendal This book has been recommended to me multiple times but i’ve only ever had time to skim through it in between study.

Another bit of advice specific to college satanism, build up a relationship with housemates before talking satanism or displaying any kind of satanic memorabilia/jewelry/artwork/clothing. You don’t have to worry so much about lecturers and classmates on campus so much because, lets be honest, we expect weird shit on campus anyway. Anything floats on a college campus. However, I don’t know what kind of housing setup you’ve got. I had a run in with a devout Christian housemate and her sister back in first year who reported me to campus security for “being a member of a satanic cult”. It eventually got dismissed because it obviously wasn’t true but FAR OUT it was an ordeal. Just be careful. Some people out there are misinformed and can take things way out of control.

If your college campus does rallies, atheistic satanists are very activism driven. Getting involved with charity groups, volunteer groups, protests/rallies for social justice etc. is a good way to uphold the second Satanic Tenet. Here’s a link for guidelines for an effective protest. This is obviously just an idea. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea.

You can also join a local TST Chapter depending on where you are in the world. Heres a link for the official Chapters, however sometimes there are unofficial TST chapters who have Facebook groups and still do cool meetups and activities and stuff. My local one does “Blood for Satan” blood donations, knitting for the homeless, pub nights, volunteering in soup kitchens and homeless shelters etc. I’d recommend finding out if you have a local satanism group in your area. Just Facebook search “Satanic Bikini Bottom” or wherever you live.

Don’t feel obligated to educate the haters. If someone on Tumblr (or in real life) is harassing you for being a satanist, remember where the block button is and get them out of your life ASAP. You’re more important than the haters. There’s no point letting bible thumpers and keyboard warriors ruin your day over their inability to accept others beliefs.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions and make Friends. We’re here to help with both specific and general questions you may have. If one person can’t help you, chances are they’ll know someone who can.

These are just a few things that I can think of. Hope I was able to help atleast a little bit. Good luck on your journey and don’t be afraid to message again if you ever want to ask more questions or have a chat.

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knifehecker · 5 years

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undertale day [long post]

it’s the 15th!! happy 4th birthday undertale!!! normally i try to do a little art or something but this year i decided to do something a little different. there’s a lot of content that’s become core tenets of my experience with the fandom -- changed the way i thought about the characters, how i engage with the fandom, opened my eyes to new ways of writing -- and i thought it’d be neat to compile some of those into one post to share with other people. so without further ado!!!

40-minute Deltarune Piano Medley - FaceImplosion [MUSIC]

ok, i know this is deltarune and not undertale, but this medley incorporates songs from both games so i’m gonna say it counts. and honestly, i could say a LOT about this piece!! i’ve watched and listened to a lot of ut/dr medleys, and this has to be the most lovingly crafted of its type that i’ve ever seen. Ever. a lot of care has been put into the order and combination of the songs (some funny, some sad, some mindblowing, ALL amazing) and the art is so good that every time i listen i find myself watching along. there’s a lot of easter eggs, especially for the attentive listener/watcher, and this medley deserves far more than the 6k views it’s gotten so far.

Undertale Album Project - Various Artists [MUSIC]

Songs From Mt Ebott is a collaborative album project that contains dozens of tracks from a score of different artists. i have a lot of favorite tracks from this album, not to mention the individual track art created for each, and if you’ve never heard of this project before, i really recommend giving it a listen! (FaceImplosion also did a piano track for this album, by the way, which i’m linking separately because it’s one of my aforementioned favorites.)

Chara - tigerblossom [MUSIC]

im not gonna lie. this was my favorite piece of fan music for a long time. it’s a medley mashing a few different songs together, short and sweet, but it comes together in such an incredibly heartfelt way at the end that whenever i end up listening to it i find myself wishing the track was about five minutes longer. they also have an underfell version of your best friend that i recommend giving a listen!

Photographs - FuriousPoplar [FIC]

in terms of “post-paci everyone lives au”s, there’s been a lot of ground covered by a lot of different people, and after a while the concept feels almost a bit...same-y? but this fic covers a sorely-needed conversation between an alive chara and asriel in a way that i’ve never seen approached by anyone else before. it’s cathartic, it’s extremely well written, and it doesn’t shy away from the ugly sides of trauma and recovery, which is so greatly appreciated. it also hit me...REALLY hard, which i think is a testament to how amazing this piece is.

Turn Back - foxsgloves [FIC]

i read this one pretty early on in my time in this fandom, and it’s continued to influence me long after. the premise: frisk keeps loading over the brief time asriel has his body in the epilogue, and simply spends time with him as they both prepare to move on towards the end. it’s sad. it’s cute. it’s amazing. it’s something i go back to reread sometimes late at night when i want to reread something friendly and familiar and a little sad. and its been one of my favorites ever since i read it.

You Wear Your Grief Like a Badge - Draikinator [FIC SERIES]

how do you even TALK about ywyglb? do i talk about nate’s impeccable voice in their writing? how true to character they are with the kids? how they set the scene of a post-pacifist world still shaking with the echoes of the past? the series starts with flowey taking frisk’s soul captive while chara and sans form an uneasy alliance in order to get them back, and then spirals into a tense, sweet, funny, awful, heartbreaking experience that reshaped how i viewed the boundaries of my own writing. draikinator’s writing has been and continues to be a huge inspiration to me, and i heartily recommend giving any of their stuff a try.

A Numbered List of Things That Aren't as Badass as They Sound (ex. Monsters, Suicide, Burning in Hell) - rosyy [FIC]

a brief glimpse into chara and asriel just before It Happens, While It Happens, When It Happens. the prose here is the sort of flowery delirious feverdream you’d expect from a kid dying of buttercup poisoning, and i love it to bits. i also want to mention a dr who crossover by the same author, because it has kris as the doctor and frisk as the stray they adopt, and its also the perfect antidote to the angst the first fic provides.

Risen Up (or, Of Fallen Children and Mountain Kin) - paradoxpangolin [FIC]

oh jeezums, how do i even start with this one? post-paci, frisk comes to the conclusion that the best way to ease the tensions between human and monsterkind is to put on a musical about their time in the underground!!!!.....except this leads to its own host of complications, and things get a bit Messy. this fic hasn’t updated in a bit, but it contains so much in its 140k of already published writing that i feel the need to urge you to read it anyway. i’m really partial to autistic frisks, and this fic has what’s got to be my favorite portrayal of that in ... probably the entire fandom? honestly, most (if not all) of the characters in this fic are autist, and it’s just. very good. i love.

you’re like a mirror, reflecting me - batterytriplicate [FIC]

a daemon au exploring what frisk and chara’s journeys might have been like with the extra distinction between monster dust and daemon dust. i completely forgot about this fic until i was trawling through my ao3 history for this post, and i’m really really glad i found it again. i think i was in the middle of trying to figure out this exact au when i first found this fic, and it did everything i was thinking of (and more) so much better that i felt more than content leaving it at that. so if you like his dark materials and want to see a fantastic little daemon au, give this a shot!

soulless-pacifist - vsemily [ASK BLOG]

soulless-pacifist..... if you’ve never heard of this askblog, you’re in for a treat. i wasn’t with it from the very beginning, but i started reading towards the middle of its main story arc and stuck with it to the end, and suffice it to say, it has to be my favorite fandom askblog to date, purely for how well its written, how well its drawn, and how it’s one of the....only askblogs i’ve ever seen come not only to a FULL conclusion, but to a satisfying one! the mun also worked with a programmer to create a fangame for its final arc, which is so above and beyond that im still kind of in disbelief. in short: this askblog followed frisk and their passenger after the events of a soulless pacifist route, and continues on with them as they grow together and find their place with a whole host of twist and turns in store. also, memes.

Shine your light with me, chase all the dark away - FancifulRivers [FIC]

this au follows frisk and chara after the events of the game. unlike most post-paci runs, though, chara has their own body back, while they and frisk are hiding back in mt ebott after the monsters have left to avoid the complications of being runaways and also.... incredible guilt and trauma. things don’t really work out like that, though, and i really recommend this read. fancifulrivers has also been an incredibly prolific writer who’s uploaded a lot of really good ut fics, so this is a great starting point to jump off of for their other stuff!

repercussions - proximally [FIC]

this fic... i think this one fic is the one that’s impacted me the most during my early days of this fandom. it’s short, and sad, and is a twist on the soulless pacifist ending that i was left thinking about literally for months after i first read it. instead of saying any more and risking spoiling it, i’ll just leave the author’s desc: “You made a mistake, and you pay for it with your life. “

The Great Boondoggle - Masu_Trout [FIC]

the premise of this fic is pretty simple. post paci, frisk is walking home. they come across a Bad Guy. hijinks ensue. but what sets apart this fic from others for me is the way frisk is written here. when this fic was published in early 2016, most frisks i came across were the...sweet harmless woobies that were pretty typical from the fandom. this is one of the first frisks i came across that was kind of mean, and a little cold, and had very obviously had a long upward climb to being the sort of person who chose mercy instead of fight. this portrayal is a lot more common nowadays, which i’m super grateful for, but since this is one of the first fics i came across that really nailed this portrayal, i felt i should leave this here. i also recommend their pokemon/ut au, which is toriel and frisk centric and i also love to bits.

and....well, i was gonna say “that’s it”, but i honestly had to cut quite a few things from this list to keep it from stretching the dash too much. there’s been a lot of incredible content created by this fandom over the years, and this is by no means a comprehensive list of my favorites. but these are some of the ones that impacted me in a really special way, and if you were kind enough to check them out and maybe even liked them, please consider leaving a kind comment for the creator! if you’re the author of one of these pieces reading this right now: thank you so much! im looking forward to finding even more favorites in this year and the next.

#undertale #deltarune #fic rec #longpost #long post #techinically its NOT the 15gh for me yet but theres like. an hour left #and i cant wait to post this anymore SO!!!!#idk theres a lot of stuff this fandom has produced thats been pretty. terrible #but there's just as much if not more stuff people have created thats changed the way i thought #about other people and myself and the way i interact with the world and all that #etc etc etc #anyway. im gay

82 notes · View notes

00sheven · 4 years

Text

business as usual

(taking a scary and unpredictable time and making it mor scary and unpredictable.)

well shit,

unemployment.

unemployment is insisting on giving me a good spanking.

when I was on it before I was using it as a safety net. a lot of stagehands will file for it to fill in gaps between work ( it is considered being under employed) so at least they receive some income when things get slow. it's not much but at least its something.

in my case I believe if I made over 200 and change I wasnt eligible to receive benifits. (maybe 300 I dont remember, but it wouldnt be much over that) it is impossible to live on but you can pay a bill and buy some groceries.

well silly me forgot to log sick time into one of my certifications.

you practically need a course in simple accounting when being a freelance stage hand when filling out an unemployment certification. (jokes.)

when you know you wont quailifiy you have to do it anyways.

how many hours did you work?

tally tally tally tally tally

who were your employers?

list employers 1 through let's just say 10

A) employer's name and address

how much money did you make?

tally tally tally (didn't get paid yet) guess tally tally guess guess tally tally.

did you look for work?

yes

provide contact information.

who

what

where

when

why.

have you pooped today and if do how many times.

hopefully you are getting the drift.

I was happy to do it, it was helping me out.

anyhow, forgetting to log in sick time.

I forgot to log in sevral hours of sick time and was paid by my employer and unemployment.

honest mistake.

well, I had to pay back the money, fair enough.

then I had to pay penalty money, understandable. they will let me make payments.

we are going to refuse benifits for (I cant remember how long) okay that sucks.

(apparently) you must continue to certify for benifits during this period to be eligible for unemployment benifits. that you are not going to recieve.

what I have not mentioned.

I was going through such a bad depression at that time that I couldn't even put on my shoes. I would sleep for one or two days at a time. I would leave my bed to eat and use the restroom, it was difficult to do simple things like hygiene related tasks. I know it's hard for people to understand. you really cant unless you experience it for yourself, and I wouldnt wish that on anyone.

I worked when work was available, but it was very difficult.

I scraped by and made enough to pay off the debt.

I thought I was done and got off unemployment.

although I needed it I managed to get by without out it. I ended up getting a job with the AV company (the one i was working with full time until all this craziness started happening. see earlier posts) on a freelance basis, and doing music production as a runner. I started making good money and making ends meet. dont get me wrong. I wasn't making enough to get an apartment. but I was making enough money to live a little more comfortably at the hobo compound. ( see hobo compound in previous posts.)

kick in the balls time. (recap)

I have to move from the hobo compound.

(the overlords are remodeling wont be taking tenets anymore) I am homeless, goose moves in at the outpost.

(see money breakdown in earlier post. if you think my bills went down, they didnt.)

covid 19

I work in the entertainment industry. no shows. no work. I get laid off.

(lots of other fucked up shit happens. review the blog if you wish.)

I have to refile for unemployment.

my case gets accepted, no mention of previous problems.

2 maybe 3 weeks later. nothing.

I check my account online last night.

your benifits are denied for this week due to penalty period.

the next week

your benifits are denied for this week due to penalty period.

what the fuck.

I paid the money back.

I paid the penalty money.

I did the pointless certifications.

how much longer is this going to last?

I tried to make a call to talk to them.

they are no longer taking calls.

I go online and through an online maze to find something close to a predetermined question that I can choose from that matches my situation.

it allows me to ask for information.

message sent.

we will get back to you in 5 to 7 business days.

okay I'll wait.

I have an indefinite amount of money to sustain the goose and I while we wait.

it's cool guys.

this commercial break is brought to you by the circle jerks and the endowment for the arts.

youtube

I wake up to a vague text message from the insurance adjuster.

as you can see from my response I required a little more information.

why?

what you dont know.

when dealing with my insurance company

I was kept in the dark

they didnt respond to my calls

I found out they settled my claim when I went to pay my bill

they sent the check to the hobo compound.

the check was issued to the guy I bought the car from.

they didnt notify me of a settlement at all.

they didnt inform me about where I should go to get my car fixed. as far as I know they got a random estimate and then subtracted 500 dollars for my deductible.

the payout to my claim was like 730. somthing dollars.

when I called them to inquire

goes though phone maze.

waits on hold due to covid 19

finally gets through.

it appears we forgot to subtract 20% for some type of fee. you were over paid we are going to stop payment on your check.

we can write you another check minus 20% or you can contact the insurance company the other party yourself to see if you have better luck. we are terribly sorry for the inconvenience.

yeah, fuck you.

so I call the insurance of the other party.

phone maze

on hold, covid 19

we thought this claim was closed

no it is not. I rejected the offer from my company. why would I pay a 500 dollar deductible when I am 100 percent not at fault.

we need to talk to your insurance company call you back.

they call back

we see you want to settle through us we are going to send a guy in a couple of days.

yesterday.

guy shows up hella early in the morning. (yell talks.) is rude. tells me a guy is gonna call me to discuss outcome of my claim. takes pictures. leaves.

today.

hella early receives text message.

try to text number the text originates from.

you can't text that number.

why would I want to speak to someone regarding my claim you ask.

well I'll tell you. it so happens I'm my case that people are dropping the fucking ball mother fuckers and I want to avoid any more possible complications and dragging this situation out any further than it needs to be.

so.

I call insurance co.

goes through phone maze

doesn't have correct option.

chooses incorrect option in an attempt to speak to someone.

gets put on hold due to covid 19

someone answers.

you need to talk to claims. I will try and contact your adjuster. (knows who I am because of phone number.)

your adjuster isn't available. I will put you through to someone who can give you the information you've requested.

gets put on hold.

other person picks up.

I repeat information to new person.

new person has no idea who I am. (has no information tied to my phone number.)

new person asks when the loss occurred.

I dont know that off the top of my head.

new person can't proceed without that info.

I dig the info up.

new person what was the other parties name.

I'm getting really annoyed at this time

digs up other parties name.

new person can you spell other parties name

I spell other parties name.

new person do you have a claim number

how may fucking people with that name on that date have had accidents mother fucker.

gets put on hold.

waiting on hold

new person comes back.

new person. here is the number and extension for you claim adjuster.

hangs up

calls insurance company

goes through phone maze

puts in extension

phone rings

some weird electronic music comes on.

electronic music plays instead of going to voice mail.

keeps playing

I hang up

calls insurance company

goes through phone maze

something goes wrong hangs up

calls insurance company

goes through phone maze chooses different option

something goes wrong hangs up

calls insurance company

goes through phone maze

chooses different option

gets put on hold due to covid 19

something goes wrong hangs up

calls insurance company

goes through phone maze

puts in extension number again

gets put on hold due to covid 19

adjuster picks up the phone.

the clouds part and Angel's sing

talks to adjuster for 3 minutes confirming information is correct.

hangs up the phone.

next.

3/31/20

red tape circle jerks

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valiantleigh · 4 years

Text

What I Learned From 5 Years of Minimalism

The Beginning of a Learning Curve

It all started with clothes. Oh boy, the clothes that 14-year-old Brenna chose to wear. Walking into Rue 21, determined to make all my fashion dreams come true, I‌ [un]wisely chose 3 pairs of brightly colored skinny jeans⁠—electric blue, shockingly emerald green, and maroon⁠—and cheaply made circle scarves and tops to match. This was it. This is how I would gain the “oohs” and “ahhs” and admiration of my fellow trendy Freshmen at Parowan High.

Eventually, the glamour wore off. Frustrated, I realized that rare shades of spunky green could only match with so many things. Dressing fashionably was more of a chore than I had ever wanted it to be, and somehow I still didn’t measure up to the girls around me. How would I‌ ever be comfortable with how I looked and achieve the effortless style I longed for?

Enter minimalism⁠—the worldwide movement touting the universal benefits of decluttering, downsizing, and “less is more.” Capsule wardrobes and black and white outfits seemed like the perfect solution to my personal style dilemma, and at age 15 I proudly declared myself to be a “minimalist.”

(If you are not familiar with the term “minimalism”, this article, and this article both give a good overview.)

I‌ began to devour every piece of minimalist literature and media I could find. I strategically began buying clothing that was guaranteed to pair well each day. I was ruthless as I decluttered my belongings and challenged myself to thrive with only the things that were necessary. Everything had to go. Frivolity and excess became enemies to my ideal of perfection.

At one point, I was successfully dressing myself for school each day with only 3 shirts, 2 pairs of jeans, 2 pairs of shoes, and one jacket to my name. Decided pickiness and a limited budget didn’t allow for much more, but at that time it was all about the numbers. I was proud of myself for proving it was possible to “live with less.”

But minimalism isn't strictly about clothing. It's a way of life. Mistakenly, I began to pattern myself after the lifestyle I saw on other people’s blogs and YouTube channels, convincing myself that this was my best life. Minimalism changed a lot of things for me: how I‌ viewed my time, my dream [tiny] house I‌ would build in college (ha! not happening), constant dissatisfaction with the untidiness of any room that wasn’t mine, and even how I‌ lived the gospel. Clearing the excess left me feeling empty instead of whole.

It took a little while but I finally realized that I‌ don’t want the smallest home possible; I don’t want to grow all my food and live off the grid; I‌ don’t want to constantly obsess over having the “right” stuff. And white walls and furniture? Forget it! I’m gonna be a mama, after all.

What I Got Wrong

In the end, minimalism wasn’t the solution to all my problems. For a young girl who felt that having full control over every detail of her life would bring the peace she desired, maybe minimalism wasn’t the best thing. However, looking back I wouldn’t give up the lessons I‌ learned about the relationship between possessions and my individual worth. While there was certainly a time that I cut out too much in order to live the lifestyle I‌ thought would save me, I have now kept the best parts of that journey and found balance and joy in more fulfilling ways.

So what are the best parts of minimalism? A few years ago, I totally missed the mark on that score. “Minimalism is a tool to rid yourself of life’s excess in favor of focusing on what’s important—so you can find happiness, fulfillment, and freedom.” (theminimalists.com, emphasis added) I, however, was using this tool as a justification for striving for unattainable flawlessness.

While I recount my past misunderstandings concerning minimalism, my goal is to dissuade you from it’s vices, not it’s actual tenets. Younger Brenna was reading words between the lines that weren’t meant to be there in the first place.

In fact, nearly every minimalist influencer out there pleads that newbies to the movement avoid conforming to any one way of using minimalism, especially if it isn’t right for them.

According to Colleen Valles of No Side Bar, “the beauty of minimalism” is that “there are no standards.”

“Minimalism is not about following someone else’s rules or way of living as a minimalist,” offers Melissa of Simple Lionheart Life. “It’s about figuring out what is important to you and getting rid of everything that’s distracting you from the important stuff.”

As I made this mental shift from a sort of utopian/restrictive minimalism to a mindful/carefree minimalism, here’s a few lessons I picked up on:

Lesson 1: When you find out what is really important to you, you’ll actually want it, and have a clear path to get it.

In this busy, busy world there is so much to choose from. With all of these choices vying for our attention, decision fatigue eventually leads to self doubt and feelings of failure.

But do we really even want the things that we choose on a daily basis? Do we want to scroll through our Instagram for 6 hours a day? Do we want to impress people whose opinions don’t matter to us anyway? Do we want to avoid things that might challenge us just because it is safe and easy? No one, when making a list of their priorities in life, even thinks about these things. They don’t make the Top 100!

So ask yourself, “What do I really want? And what is stopping me from obtaining it?” When I talk about actually wanting something, that includes taking the necessary action to reach for it and then make it a reality. This is different than saying something is a priority, or knowing something should be important to us.

You don't really want it unless you act like you want it.

A powerful gift that we have been given from our God is our ability to choose. By realizing what you really want and don’t want for your life, daily decision-making won't necessarily become easier, but it will certainly be simpler.

In my own life, instead of wearing certain styles of clothes to fit in or measure up to someone else, I‌ wear them because I‌ want to. I dress modestly because I want to. I‌ wear my vintage mom jeans because I look dang good in them, and because I‌ want to.

Instead of counting how many objects I own in order to fit into some made up ideal, I‌ keep it to the necessities because I want to. I‌ want my stuff to be organized, so I organize it, not worrying about how unorganized other people’s stuff is (because people are more important than stuff).

Once I figured out what I‌ really wanted, my life truly became mine, not some miserable copy-cat existence. My biggest hope for you is to recognize just how much power you wield when you make the choice to choose what your life is going to be.

Lesson 2: You can’t have everything you want, but you can be content.

I know this seems counter-intuitive to "choose what you want in life." But hear me out.

I am a firm believer that when we decide to choose the important stuff, it invites those things into our lives like a magnet. But I also know that we can’t choose every situation, or heartache, or trial that becomes a part of our mortal journey.

I like to think that our freedom of choice falls into two categories: (1) the things we can control or influence, no questions asked, and (2) the things we can’t–in which case we still have full and complete control over our attitude, our outlook, our reaction, and how we cope with what is placed before us.

My decision to be a minimalist was born out of discontent. I‌ just wanted more, more, more, because I didn’t feel like I was enough. But today, I’m here to tell you, that whatever you do have–whether it’s less or more–you can be content, and even grateful, right where you are. You are enough, and all that surrounds you is enough.

Even after all my talk of action and knowing what you want, I know that sometimes there is no amount of action that can change what our reality is right now. Some of our desires only come to fruition after we’ve been reaching for a very long time.

Remember those two categories of choices? I‌ think that they can be separated by time as well. The first category, the things we can control, are all in the future, at some later date. And while we wait, we make the category two choices: our attitude, how we view our situation. Contentedness is “satisfaction with things as they are.”

Plainly stated, we will never be happy or fulfilled with what we have in the future if we don’t accept our current situation–the “right now.”

What I am trying to say is this: maybe you want x but you need y. You want a clean home, but you need less stuff. You want freedom, but you need to take charge of your choices. You want peace, but you need to make space for it by letting go of something first. You want to be productive, but you need to measure your success differently.

After you know what you want, being content in your day-to-day existence–with yourself, your situation, your stuff, and the people around you–is the best way to love the journey while you reach for your desires.

Lesson 3: Money matters, but not in the way the world tells you.

Long before minimalism, I‌ learned my most important lesson about money management from paying tithing. Giving 10-percent of my earnings to the Lord–as a act of faith and obedience–has always multiplied the other 90-percent.

Minimalism taught me how to more effectively use that 90-percent. It’s easy to think that we are free to spend money just because we have it. I have been shopping for about 5 out of 20 years that I've been alive, and every purchase that ended up not working out in the way that I expected–whether I‌ was expecting increased happiness, popularity, or some easy fix to a deeper problem–was a lesson about treating my money well.

When you treat your money with kindness, it will treat you kindly too. So be nice to your money. Think carefully before you use it. Save some of it to show that you appreciate it. Invest it in something for the future. Spend it on that which is good and wholesome–especially the things and the people you treasure. But in all of your budgeting, don’t be too stingy with it. Money will ebb and flow through your life. Treat yourself! Use it as a tool to improve your life and lives around you. The mistakes you make with money will always be lessons for the future. Money is forgiving when you try to mend your ways; all it takes is some time.

Livin’ the Slow Life

I‌ hope you realize how recently these lessons took full effect for me. It didn’t happen right at first, or even all at once.

Over time, I’ve come to distance myself from the world of minimalism. I‌ no longer pour over articles from minimalist bloggers. I‌ know enough, and it sits well with me. Still, minimalism has been a big part of my growth, and I can’t pretend like it never happened.

Now that I know myself and my stuff a little bit better, I’ve decided to call what I do “slow living.” With a quick internet search you will find that there is certainly a slow movement going on, with decades of history behind it, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm just doing what works for me (and borrowing the term). How I approach productivity, money, and how I spend my time is largely influenced by minimalism, but recently it’s become something all it's own. (Of course, I’ve always been influenced by the gospel of Jesus Christ.) Right now, I’m just focused on “embracing my pace.” And I can’t wait to tell you more about it.

Live valiant leigh,

Brenna

[Originally posted on September 3, 2019]

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johneward35 · 4 years

Text

5 Ways to Stay Social While Youre in Quarantine

In the age of coronavirus, we’re all self quarantining, or we really should be. Memes are being shared instead of germs and the way we socialize and communicate is rapidly changing. Making connections with people through sharing the plant has always been one of Dockside’s core tenets and we are here to help you facilitate some good old fashioned community bonding without getting physical.

Create a Spotify Playlist with Friends

Maybe you’re old fashioned and prefer the classic mixtape or CD. But times have changed! Make a playlist for your friends and loved ones. Or get your group of friends involved and collaborate on the ultimate quaran-tunes playlist!

Share Recipes

Gone are the days of potlucks but thank goodness for technology! Do a recipe swap with friends and change up your mealtime routine! You could also create a Facebook virtual potluck group to share recipes and pictures. Invite all your friends and take turns live broadcasting cooking your casseroles!

Group Chat

Social support from friends and family can help you get through the most stressful of times and we need all the support we can get right about now. Being part of a friend network gives you a sense of belonging and self-worth, which can help you in combatting anxiety and depression. One study found that for women in particular, spending time with friends and children helps release oxytocin, a natural stress reliever. This effect is called “tend and befriend,” and is the opposite of the fight-or-flight response. With the ongoing coronavirus pandemic, you shouldn’t expose yourself or others and it’s best to limit your physical interactions. Try face-timing or gchatting a friend or get the whole gang together and video chat with apps like BlueJeans. Local comedians in Seattle have taken to the screen. Joketellers Union uploads their live-streamed shows for all to enjoy! Don’t forget to donate and support your local artists.

Start a Book Club

Start a book club or if you’re already in one, make it virtual! Books are great for anxiety and can prevent mental decline. Escape into a book unless that book is The Plague by Albert Camus. Maybe don’t read that one. If that happens to be your genre, check out this long list of pandemic themed books!

Netflix & Chill Netflix & Chat

Getting stoned and watching Netflix alone can be amazing, but it’s even better with friends. Plus you don’t even have to leave your house (not that you could anyway).

Thanks to Netflix Party you can now sync up with friends and strangers virtually and watch the same show or movie while simultaneously chatting it up! You’ll need to have a Netflix subscription in order to participate.

Install NetflixParty (please note that this extension is only compatible with Chrome browsers) Once on the site, select “Install Netflix Party”

Next, Select Add to Chrome:

Click “Add extension”:

Access Netflix and click the Red ‘NP’ to the right of your browser search bar. Now you can start your Netflix Party!

Party on!

Netflix Party extension may not be compatible with all devices. We recommend watching on a computer browser and if you have issues, please reach out to Netflix Party.

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thankyoumskobayashi · 5 years

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happy 10th anniversary to the day my dad found my cats on the side of the road

i have thought alot of times abt what id do if i met the person who left them there. probably punch that person for being a dumb jerk. but if it werent for them leaving blossom on the side of the road, my depression could easily have taken a turn for the worst during middle/high school. my floof merr has been my reason for living, even moreso than spite. now im at a place where im enjoying life a little and learning sorta how to be an adult. i'd probably thank whoever dropped my cats off but also punch them for being a jerk.

anyways, my point is that if you don't believe in yourself, or you hate your life, find something to live for. Anything, no matter how unimportant others may deem it. for me, my love for my cat and desire to make sure she's happy overrode my depressed thought. treatment was definitely a step in that, but if you can't find that find blogs abt coping with depression in everyday life and read as much as you can. after my diagnoses i read a lot from other people with depression anxiety and adhd. maybe this helps others too idk

rember too that change doesnt always happen right away either. we are constantly changing ourselves and reinventing ourselves, and it is exhausting to make the conscious choice, again and again, to be a better person. but it is a necessary one because otherwise society remains stagnant.

and stagnating things cause breakdowns and decay.

good luck in finding yourselves, and your companions throughout the journey of life. i may not be a psychologist but i can listen if you need someone to, and i can reblog that list of suicide hotlines bc your life is worth too much. im crying right now actually bc a kid in my hometown khs, probably due to not being believed over mental health issues. people "not believing in" mental illness gets me so fucking pissed off bc this shit matters! it's not little things that people complain abt, it's the small symptoms of a much larger, and much more malevolent whole which moves through the mind like a hurricant. it destroys so much of your functioning and leaves you struggling to swim in the productive direction against the current of a deeper and stronger force.

being ridiculously persistent, as adhd folks tend to be, is probably also another reason i'm here. i love my friends too much to ever let them suffer like that, so i'd hold on to the point of walking through hell and back. in that way i found the hyperfocus i wield like a double edged sword and honed the loyalty i have always developed. i love my old friends, and i love my new friends, and i'm just so goddamn happy to be having friends on this planet. i dont need a romance, because i love myself enough to not need one for validation. i think that having a relationship when you are not really into someone else as much as they are into you would feel very weird. kinda like early marina & the diamonds being in a relationship. i don't know.

why the hell am i telling you all this? because it is a stream of conscious and i am allowing you unfiltered access to my inner thoughts because these are the only thoughts i have had or will ever have at this moment at this time. and because people in the future may look back on them to see what is relevant to history. and in my case i will say that i hate donald trump, i had a great dream last night that he died of a heart attack, and they were debating whather to put his secondary prez as the next in line bc they expected p*nce to do such a horrible job too.

we need to help the environment and in order to do that we need to limit the pollution companies can create. everywhere. all across the globe. it would take huge efforts. the leaders would probably be assassinated anonymously by the ceos of huge megacorps which steal billions from the workers. we need to create huge amts of inertia, so how do we do that??? education.

we need to teach abt environmentalism. we need to teach it like it is a basic tenet of humanity to care about it, at levels that challenge & excite kids instead of bore them. this is my poetics and i guess im spelling it out now that im tipsy bc i havewords flowing from my mind. i have to go get my charger hold on. its an external battery pack that my overly controlling mother had me put in her purse this mornig. the song "hotline, hotline.... calling on the hotline to your love" has been stuck in my head for a lot of the day today and i hate it. today i was the magic carpet operator it was really cold. i hate the magic carpet for being so cold but there was a squad of 5 kids today who got a big kick out of riding the magic carpet to the top, then taking the stairs back down again. it wasnt malicious or anything it was fun and gave me smth to do other than stand coldly thinking abt how cold i was.

the woodstove hoever is very warm and i am tired and need to use the bathroom before i bring my cat upstairs to watch guardian & possibly even kamen rider kuuga before falling asleep. oh and dont forget to brush teeth before u pass out too. good night everyone. this is who i have found myself to be now. so, who are you?

#suicide tw #depression tw #personal writing #encouragement #this house has a Poetics #this house being me

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tipsfprsports-blog · 5 years

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The most effective method to Utilize Web journals For Marketing Your Online Business

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The second way is The manner by which to Weblog for Moderate: The how to weblog for intermediates way will require the middle of the road learning and involvement with web improvement. It is entirely near the learner way anyway knowing PHP structure is a reward. Along these lines, you will have your blog on a free server like Go Daddy. When you're setting up the facilitating bundle on Go Daddy pick WordPress facilitating. Along these lines, you are utilizing Go Daddy's servers, yet at the same time have the pre-made layouts and modules of WordPress. This is a lot less demanding at that point constructing your entire site without any preparation.

The focal points are:

You are on a free server, not WordPress's.

You can have advertisements advancing anything.

You can use the same number of hyper-connects as you need in the body of your blog.

You don't risk your account being closed down.

There is more opportunity to customize your site.

The disservices:

You should physically include the majority of the modules to your blog.

You may need to know php structure.

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Not very many limitations on customizing your site.

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The Third way is The means by which to Build up a Blog for Cutting edge: The how to build up a blog for cutting edge way, you will have your blog on an autonomous server like above. Anyway, you fabricate it without any preparation. You fabricate your formats and modules.

The preferences are:

You can truly modify your site at any rate you might want. There are no confinements

The burdens are:

You need to completely recognize what you're doing.

Costs cash

So since you thoroughly understand sites and how to utilize websites for marketing your online business There is nothing keeping you away from making a crazy measure of focused traffic to your webpage and expanding your change rate. So make a move and begin on the most proficient method to build up a blog. Here's to your prosperity.

#tips for sports

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smarmykemetic · 6 years

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anon bc my kemetic blog is a sideblog; I dont understand this (message 1/2 or 3) Re: "disrespecting the NTRW" thing; I've read so many sources on people getting angry at them, threatening them & their temples like...obv it's not good to do that but i feel like they would understand if humans feel hard done by and pissy. Not to say they wouldnt *also* be angry that youre arguing or outright threatening them but its not like the way it is in christian spirituality (as far as i understand)

(2/2 unless i add more) and then as far as i know, thru my own research people also applied their own ideas to the NTRW all the time and joked with/about them??? And i feel like all-powerful or not- everyone enjoys a damn joke. And the “politics=/=religion thing” weirds me out too bc kemetic (place, not religion necessarily) politics was innately tied w their religion because their religion kind of like WAS their society. The NTRW influenced every aspect of fckn everything.

(since you haven’t sent anything else im just publishing like this lol)

I agree, for the most part. Based on the sources we have, it’s up to the individual practitioner (and their gods, naturally) what kind of piety requirements, if any, are enforced. We have hymns and poems naming the gods as perfect, beyond reproach, deserving of eternal adoration; we have written records of insulting the gods being considered a crime and punished accordingly. Then we have some myths that pretty clearly portray the gods as doing silly or immoral things (i.e. The Contendings), which even if you insist these are not “real myths” but political satire, still indicates that in antiquity, these kinds of irreverent jokes and portrayals of gods were…well, maybe not common, but at least on some level accepted. You have the portrayal of Set, which changed based on a period’s politics, sometimes going so far as to call him literally evil or equate him with A/pep itself, often myths centered around not only Set’s defeat, but his humiliation -which should count as unacceptable blasphemy against a netjer the way the kemetic piety-police-wannabes act, but it is undeniably something that happened in antiquity. Then we have the spells and rites where people threaten the gods, talk about eating them in the Cannibal hymns, or even call themselves the gods as a way of achieving a magical end. Talking about in any way overpowering the gods, or being ‘equal’ to them (even only in a ritual sense of taking on their mantle for a spell), is exactly the kind of thing that gets these people’s panties in a bunch, but I mean. The ancients #did that. Are we supposed to ignore historical precedent because it makes people uncomfortable, or doesn’t sound respectful enough for somebody’s pious sensibilities?

The historical records we have, to me, show that there is a diversity of acceptable, historically-verified ways of interacting with the netjeru in different situations. But people seem to hold the first example as the only kind of historical interactions with the gods that modern practitioners are “allowed” to engage in. Some people even seem to think that they have the right to assert that the NTRW “wish that hubris was part of kemeticism”, which sounds A) unlikely, since they had millenia of state religion to make such an idea part of their theology if they wanted to; B) ahistorical, since while the idea of being disrespectful and arrogant is certainly found in the ancients’ writings on ma’at (usually uhmmm talking about how people should treat each other but whatevs I guess), the Greek idea of “hubris” was just that, a Greek idea, not an Egyptian one, and C) pretty goddamn arrogant for a human to speak for their gods unilaterally, using their UPG literally to say that how other people are practicing and believing is wrong, even as they’re claiming not to. (Yes, this is in response to one person’s recent statements in particular, but I’m keeping my response to this pretty clear vagueing on this person’s part also a vaguepost, because I genuinely don’t think there’s anything to gain through a real argument.)

This kind of rhetoric, in my opinion, claims to be “for the gods’ benefit” while is really more focused around the tastes of one group of kemetic practitioners, wanting their particular religious practice and ideas -which, to be clear, are no better and no worse than anyone else’s- to be “the gold standard”, and everyone else’s to be categorized as lesser, heretic even. I think it’s more likely that the gods want some people to be more formal and reverent in their practice than others, and they should be supported and celebrated for doing so, but well. We aren’t all priests. We aren’t all the same, and we shouldn’t try to be.

And yeah trying to claim that politics and religion should be completely separated is ludicrous because not only is ‘separation of the Church and State’ something that only became the norm (allegedly, as it doesn’t really happen much irl) over the last few centuries, but “politics” basically encompasses or at least affects every single aspect of human existence anyways. Just like how Evangelical Christians in America have largely erased the political implications of Christ’s sermons against greed and his commands to care for the poor, modern-day kemetics want to erase the political implications of the tenets of ma’at that command us to care for the beggar and the orphan, not to wink at (close your eye to) injustice. They want to water the concept of ma’at down from a powerful moral imperative to keep us fighting for justice and actively working to create a world of harmony, into a safe little idea about reverence for the gods, correct ritual practice, and being ~nice and polite~ regardless of the situation.

To Ammit with all that bullshit.

#asks #anonymous #kemetic #ma'at #piety #that's a little joke btw im not actually calling for anyone to be damned #or have their hearts eaten in other words

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askdawnandvern · 6 years

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A Lamb Among Wolves

Sorry I was a day late with posting this, but I had a really rough day yesterday and it sort of set me back a bit. It's mostly that I'm sick, coupled with some bad news that I'm still sort of getting over and now I'm trying to catch up. So it's official, we are now in act three. (Day three) of the trip in the story. All the set pieces are in place, and it's now more of a matter of moving things along. I'm going to be trying to hit the story as twice as hard at this point to get it out and finished faster than my previous rate, but it's still going to take a bit to get back to one chapter a week. But I'm going to be making a dedicated effort to try and get there so I can wrap this up.

That said, the ask blog might take a slight hit due to it. Mostly in the form of more 'text base answers' and less extended comics in order to achieve this goal. But at this point, there are only about 16 or so chapters left, and I'd prefer to get it all wrapped up before Summer.

Anyway, sorry for the delay Here's hoping we wrap this up quickly and satisfyingly in the coming months. WT, out.

And if you'd like early access to chapters and access to other perks you can check out My Patreon. www.patreon.com/wastedtimeee

Chapter Thirty-One: The Cultural Tenets of the Northern Roaropean Lamb

"Much like the wolves of old, ancient sheep as a species could be found on nearly every continent in some form or another. From the coldest mountain regions to some of the hottest climates, an ancient wandering mammal had a significantly high chance of running into a flock of sheep without even trying. In fact, sheep are considered to make up one of the largest representative species on the planet next to mammals in the canid and feline families respectively. And as you can imagine, that kind of density of species has lead to quite a few...unsavory rumors about sheepfolk in the eyes of other mammals. Especially thanks to the work of many Rams who wielded any sort of power, many of whom were in my family. But I am getting off track. The point of this entry is to discuss how sheepfolk tended to work in a society, their beliefs and social rules. More specifically those which pertain strongest to my genetic background, that being sheep of Schottish ancestry.

Now we've already discussed the general structure of early ancient sheep herds, and the system of hierarchy in place among them. Caprids have been, and remain a largely docile species that focus primarily on defending themselves rather than antagonizing others aside from a few notable exceptions. There was one key term i forgot to explain though, that being the word 'flock'. I had mostly referred to sheep as being 'herds' in the previous historical entry as it was easier to digest for most prey species and other predators. But the term 'flock' was a unique phrase that sheep's used to refer to their herds. I'm not sure exactly how common knowledge this is, but I thought it was a good idea to throw this in for good measure.

The Schotts, being herbivores in nature like all sheep relied largely upon farming and agriculture in order to sustain their close-knit communities, and thus their religious beliefs revolve largely around harvest and protection. The chief god amongst caprid kind being 'Hornunnos', roughly translating to 'he of many horns'. His multiple long, and numerous horns representative of his great wisdom, virility, and strength that came with being a well-developed ram. And on the feminine side, we have 'Cervidwen' goddess of bounty and the beauty of life. Cervidwen, roughly translated to 'hooves of grace' held sway over nature, the seasons, and nurturing the arts. It was she the Schotts prayed to for mild winters and bountiful harvests. And it was she who supposedly inspired the songs and stories that were birthed from some of sheepfolk's greatest minds. Tales of beauty, first love, and adventure. As well as tales of woe and warning to young little lambs that I will be touching on shortly.

Sheep shared a reverence for the moon, and its cycle just as wolves did. However, whereas wolves looked to the moon for guidance and prayer, it held in most sheep a powerful, paralyzing terror. A full moon was seen as a terrible omen to the native Schotts, which can be directly connected to the Norwulves preference fighting and going to war under its terrible glow. Fighting and warring that almost always found itself laying its paws at the shores of the Schottish Isles. As such a great deal of Caprid nursery rhymes and stories feature the presence of the full-moon as a dreadful set-up to a young kid or lamb being dragged off into the night by a fearsome wolf to be dined upon under the moon's sinister glow. Some going into excruciating and morbid detail about lamb's blood and pearly sharp teeth gleaming under the cursed glow of that hateful orb.

One of the most well known and shared stories that still persists to this day despite how much society has changed is the tale of 'Little Red Riding Hoof', a story originating from cervines and quickly adopted and adapted to the Schottish cannon. In it, a young doe, or in the case of the Schotts, a young ewe, travels to visit her ailing Grandmother in order to bring her a basket of goodies. But she leaves on the night of a full moon despite her parent's protest to wait till the morning, as her Grandmother is in dire need of supplies. They warn her of wolves, and their treacherous ways, but she is adamant that she can handle herself alone. Along the way she is silently stalked by a, you guessed it, hungry wolf, who eventually confronts her under the premise that he is simply a weary traveler looking for food. The fearful ewe is somewhat hesitant to even talk to the lone wolf, but takes pity on him, offering a small morsel of her Grandmothers supplies to soothe his hunger pangs. She remains firm however, that the small bit of food was all she could offer and reveals the nature of her journey to the creature. Much to her surprise, the wolf lets her go, and the ewe finds herself doubting her parent's warnings about wolf treachery.

But the wolf, now aware of the nature of her trip, and familiar with the cottage, sneaks ahead of the ewe and mercilessly devours her Grandmother whole. Once Red Riding Hoof arrives, the wolf masquerades as the ewe's ailing Grandmother. Poorly donning her ill-fitting clothes and trying his best to deceive the ewe into getting close enough to bite into her. Which the ewe foolishly acquiesces to.

To be fair, that part never really made sense to me in any iteration of the story. As a ewe, I couldn't conceive a lamb so dumb as to not immediately recognize that the mammal pretending to be her Grandmother was just that, a pretender, a fake. Then again, as a little lamb, I hadn't realized that my best friend had been a wolf until my Father had discovered the relationship. While I had heard the term wolf, the picture that had been painted for me was a snarling, drooling hideous beast, much as the story depicts.

And so the little friendly ball of fluff that quickly became my playmate didn't exactly fit the bill when it came to my Father's description. I simply couldn't make the connection, neither there, nor with his nickname, 'Puppy'. It was the name his brothers gave him, but only I was allowed to call him. But as to the meaning or implication of that title I was still far too naive. And my Father was quick to make sure I never made that 'mistake' again.

But again, I've wandered off track. (Note: re-read this and consider revising it or shifting it to a later section.) Sufficed to say, the ewe is somehow fooled by the wolf's act. But unlike today's sanitized, family-friendly version of the tale put forth by companies like Dismurinae where the courageous woodsram bursts in at the last second and saves the foolish young ewe. The traditional version of the tale ends with the wolf simply devouring the lamb and escaping into the night, leaving her family to grieve the loss of their daughter and Grandmother. It was meant to be a staunch warning, a story that no matter how it played out it always ended the same way, death by the jaws of a hungry wolf.

As I've said, it is one of many caprid fear-mongering tales all aimed at warning young, impressionable lambs of the horrific nature of wolves. But stories like these were more than enough to force most of the Schotts to rely primarily on the sun and daylight for mapping their calendars and properly timing their harvests. And on a moonlit night, the average Schottram resident was hiding inside their home, with doors barred and windows shuttered and secure.

Lastly, I feel it is of obvious importance to explain the inner workings of caprid marriage. While the ceremony is fairly common among a variety of prey species with little variation, it is less so with predators, many of which ascribe to their own more unique ceremonies. But again, for the purposes of this particular book, I will only go into the rules and traditions of your standard 'Schottish' wedding.

The caprid take on marriage was one of the first popularized union ceremonies in Roarope, finding its start in the 'flocks' of Schottram and Irelamb before spreading and mingling amongst a variety of other prey groups and societies. It is a simpler ceremony in organization when compared to the rigorous approval process involved in the Norwullf or Canidean wolf 'tithing' ceremonies. Essentially, any ram is allowed to marry any ewe they wish without familial approval, although it is customary as a sign of respect. And in the case of the Schotts it came with many a hefty bonus. Entitlement to land, the merger of farms, and most commonly the bride's 'dowry'.

This 'dowry' was a small sum of money bestowed to the wedding ewe by her parents. it was intended to act seed money for the budding mates new family. Although today, the 'dowry' has fallen out of favor pretty much everywhere outside of Schottram.

The ceremony is usually held by day in a meadow or field, not at night for obvious reasons. In the ceremony family and friends are expected to attend, and a caprid pastor is employed to officiate the union under the eyes of the gods. Most commonly the gods invoked to bless the ceremony are of course Hornunnus and Cervidwen, again for reasons that should be obvious to you given what importance I previously ascribed to them.

In the times of the Ancient Schotts, these pastors played a revered roll in most caprid communities. They were seen as the direct connection between the flocks on Animalia and the will of the gods, much like the 'seers' among the Norwulves. And as such their approval was tantamount to the success of any prospecting wedding couple. In order to reach the respected status of a pastor, these mammals underwent numerous trials to prove their hardship and devoting to the gods. But in reality, these were simply rites of passage that were approved over by other 'pastors' as a 'direct sign of approval' from the gods wasn't easy to provide evidence of. Most of these ancient trials have been lost to time, the ancient writings describing them varied and scattered. But the few fragments that remain describe anything ranging from lasting three days with no food or water to searing oneself with a hot iron. However, in today's society, becoming an 'official' caprid pastor is as easy as the click of a mouse, much to the relief of a great many sheepfolk.

The ceremony begins with the pastor invoking the god and goddess directly, before turning his attention to the wedding couple. This part of the ceremony remains quite traditional, so much so that the original text has barely changed in the thousands of years since its origin, and it goes as follows.

'Blessings and merry we meet, Gentlerams and ewes alike. I beseech the great god Hornunnus, whose wisdom is unparalleled, and dear goddess Cevidwen, graceful lady of plenty and merriment to lay their gifts of virility and bounty upon at the feet of the couple who stands before me.'

He would of course lead with the males name, followed by the female, announcing them both the audience as well as the gods.

'Noble (insert ram's name), and Lady ( insert ewe's name) have asked for thee to share in their joy and to declare the depths of their love for one another before you all. To be blessed by both those among us, and those above as they embark on this journey together.'

It was then the pastor would ask the budding couple if they were certain of their choice. Fairly standard among most prey weddings aside from the wording.

'Lord (ram), are thou certain of the love? Does thou retain an inkling of doubt or fear?

If the response is 'Nay, I am certain.', then the ceremony continues with the pastor repeating the same line directed at the Lady. And with her assent marches onward.

'In as much as this Noble (mammal) and Lady (mammal) have pledged to one another to be married on this day. We call upon the gods to bless this union, and their lives together. Therefore, should there be any lamb assembled among us that can show just cause why these sheep should not be joined, then speak now, or forever be silent.'

The pastor would then hold for objections, again, another standard of most prey ceremonies aside from the archaic language. If there were no objections, the ceremony would continue.

'Great Hornunnus and Lady Cervidwen, holders of the unforeseen knowledge beyond knowing, we humbly ask of thee to bless this union. To bless their lives with merriment and plenty, and guide them through their trials and sorrows. To bless them with strong, healthy and mirthful lambs to carry on their proud name. '

Then of course, the pastor turns his attention directly to the couple.

'Do you, Noble (mammal), take unto thyself as wife the Lady?'

To which the groom should respond.

'Aye, for our lives, and into the hereafter.'

From there, the bride is asked a rephrased version of the question, and upon her agreement, the ceremony moves to a very interesting portion. At this time, the caprid pastor opens the floor to the wedding couple, offering them a chance to speak to one another in their own words. This is commonly referred to as the 'trading of vows', and it is intended for the couple to write their own speeches to one another. Professing love, and the depths of it and so forth. It's easily one of the most popular portions of romantic films involving prey weddings, leaving us with many eternally romantically quotable lines.

'It is now time for the trading of the vows, and with it, I open the floor to thee Lord (wolf) and Lady (ewe).

And of course, this is where the vows would go, but as they are generally unique, I don't exactly have anything to place here. So try to imagine the most romantic, beautiful sweeping statements delivered with passion and grace. The groom declaring his bottomless love for the bride, his unwavering trust and belief in her despite the slings and slander of others. And the bride, declaring how she is undeserving of love, yet overcome with joy to be loved, and of her lover.

Thanking the groom for his unwavering support and love, his care and devotion, the way he seems to treasure her like a precious stone when others treated her as if she were a malformed pebble. That her love for him is eternal regardless of the pelt he wears, the sharpness of his teeth, or his rugged good...

Ahem, Well I'm getting off track I think, I'm not sure where I was going with that. I mean, you must get the idea by now. (Note to self: shorten or remove vow examples?) After the vows, the pastor continues by presenting the traditional rings to the couple to be wed. The rings are traditionally made of polished ash wood, the grooms inlaid with gold edging, and the brides with silver. Each ring contains the other mammal's name etched on the interior of the band. While rings are a common practice with prey ceremonies, only caprid and cervine ceremonies use rings made of polished wood. It is what is believed to bind them to their natural roots, the forest from which they came, and the gods and goddess that watch over.

'Gods, bless these rings which the Noble Vernon Hunter and Fair Lady Dawn Bellwether have chosen to mark themselves as to be forever unified in heart and within their spirits. As they give and receive these rings, may they testify to the world of the covenant made between them.

Then Vernon would say.

'Dawn, receive and wear this ring as a symbol of my trust, my respect and my undying love for you.

And then I would say.

'Vernon, receive and wear this ring and make me the happiest ewe in all of Animalia!'

(Note: This section needs to be revised heavily, this is supposed to be clinical, not emotional. Still, at the moment I can't bring myself to erase it. So fix it later!)

Then the pastor ends the ceremony with what most movies about prey marriages feature heavily. The kiss.

'With the recitation of the vows, and the rings you now wear, may this union be made official. With a kiss, the purity and endless depths of their love will be laid bare for all to witness and embrace. You may now kiss the bride.'

With that comes the kiss of course, followed by the usual celebration of the newlyweds in the same meadow in which their union was consecrated. A fringe benefit of having an outdoor ceremony being that you don't have to have two separate venues to hold the celebration.

At the ceremony toasts are made, traditional food is eaten and merriment is made. Well wishes and gifts are shared and music is played and generally this part is all left up to those throwing the party. There are a few small traditions that are sometimes employed such as the tossing of the bouquet, and the removal of the garter, but otherwise, the afterparty has never been a very rigid, strict affair, and has easily adapted to the times. Even going so far as to make additions to the whole affair, adding the ever popular and the increasingly elaborate 'Honeymoon' as part of the package. All things I thought I was never going to have, and now...'

Dawn let out a pleasant sigh as she skimmed back over her previous handiwork. A smile forming on her lips as she quietly re-read the slight error in her clinical recounting of a traditional caprid wedding ceremony.

"Dawn, receive and wear this ring as a symbol of my trust, my respect and my undying love for you." Dawn murmured softly to herself, smiling warmly at the words on the screen.

'He probably wouldn't say it exactly like that...' The ewe thought to herself. 'Knowing him, he'd find something better.'

Dawn began to yawn, doing her best to quiet it with one hoof while stretching with her other arm. The other girls were all still asleep, Malcolm snoring loudly as he unconsciously scratched at his belly, and the ewe was still keen not to wake them with her own troubles.

The ewe had no intention of waking up as early as she had. It had to have been at least an hour before the first glimmers of morning light began to filter through the windows of the large bedroom. But there had been a number of factors at play to rob the ewe of sleep that night, forcing her to turn to her writing to drive them back, and Malcolm's snoring was probably the least of it.

To start with, the collapse of Ada's bed and the lack of proper spares in the room had more or less forced the group to take Audrey's advice and have two of the girl's bunk together. Naturally, or at least Dawn should have immediately assumed to be the natural solution, Ada and Vanna concluded the two smallest mammals in the room should be the ones to split a bed. They of course, quickly focused their gaze on herself and Qali to further emphasize the choice had already been made.

It made sense to Dawn, her own bed proving much too large for someone of her size anyway. But what the girls had neglected to mention, was that the diminutive little vixen was quite pawsy in her sleep.

Perhaps they didn't know, or perhaps it had been the ewe's own fault for having invited the fox to pet her wool that night. But Dawn had spent the evening fending off the vixen's attempts at grappling the ewe's wooly poof in her sleep.

The first two times the sleeping fox had managed to get a tight grip around her hair, Dawn had reluctantly woken the vixen up to let her know what she was doing. Qali, of course, was terribly embarrassed, apologizing profusely before shifting over to the farthest edge of the bed as she could before going back to bed. However, it didn't take long for the slumbering canid to drift her way back over to Dawn's side. And before the ewe knew it, the vixen was once again entangled in her wooly mane, letting out contented little sighs as she presumably 'counted sheep'.

Eventually, the ewe gave up fending off the impromptu cuddle session, choosing to embrace the little excitable vixen's unintentional affection in the interest of a good nights sleep. But despite the slight discomfort of having a mammal practically suction cupped to her head, it was something warm. It was an affectionate gesture the fox clearly couldn't control, and it was certainly more welcoming than what awaited Dawn in her dreams.

Each time the lamb had managed to drift off into slumber, she found herself in that darkened study. The acrid yet sweet scent of brandy overwhelming her nostrils so strongly it caused her to gag. The dim shine of the lighting against its bronze and deep green fixtures creating a glare in all directions as the ewe struggled to find her ground. She could still see the wolf, seemingly towering over his desk now as he glared back at her with hateful eyes. Piercing grey eyes that smoldered with an unrelenting disdain for the increasingly smaller ewe standing before him. His lips curled around his gleaming, sharpened teeth as he spat bile in her direction.

The same speech, over and over again, only now without her protests. She couldn't muster a defense, and with every hateful statement or unkind word, she felt herself shrinking smaller and smaller.

In desperation, she called to her primal self, the beast that once haunted her dreams before her encounter with her Father in that old factory on the frigid tundra night. Anything to give her the strength to stand back up, to defend herself. But it never came. It was gone after all, now a part of her that for some reason she couldn't conjure as Dorian continued his incessant berating.

"Ya'll came out here expectin' everything to go your way." The wolf repeated, his grimace deepening as the disgust in him rose. "You were thinkin' about yer selfish needs!"

"N-no!' The ewe waivered.

"You think I'd ever accept you as one of our own? " Again word for word, the wolf's most painful barbs playing on loop for her own personal torment.

Dawn tried her protest, but each wave after wave of painful insults and untrue statements was wearing her down. Reducing her to nothing more than a heap on the floor of the dimly lit office until she suddenly found herself on the wolf's desk. The ewe now no bigger than an ant, surrounded by the various golden baubles on the now massive wolf's desk as he raised his decanter in the air preparing his final blow.

"As long as I'm head of this household, you ain't never gonna be a Hunter!" The wolf bellowed at a deafening octave as the ewe clutched at her ears in pain.

Then the decanter came down. Faster, faster and closer as the ewe found herself unable to move. Paralyzed with terror as she tried to scream out.

"NO!"

And just like that she was awake again, dripping with sweat and gasping for breath. Thankfully Qali proved to be a heavy sleeper, or perhaps the ewe would have woken her. Instead, the slumbering fox remained gripped to her hair, hanging off of her slightly as the ewe sat up, trying to regain her composure.

And so the evening went, and each time the ewe closed her eyes she was back in that place. The room that stunk heavily of fine brandy, the golden reflections that seemed to blind her, and the fierce and towering Dorian. It played on repeat, the same way each time. And Dawn could do little to stop it other than waking up and escaping that terrible realm of her innermost demons. And eventually, the ewe resigned herself to staying awake, rather than be forced to face it again.

After carefully prying the fox off of her head and easing her back onto her own pillow, the ewe went right to burying herself in her work. Doing her best to bury the terrible dream behind volumes of text that still needed to be typed. Losing herself in hazy visions of a blissful and beautiful caprid marriage to the wolf she loved so dearly. It was something she could still take some sort of solace in. Despite Dorian's hateful words, and outright refusal to accept her as part of the family, at the very least he couldn't deny her a caprid ceremony. At the very least she and Vernon would have their ceremony, with or without his approval. They would stand together in a beautiful meadow, before the gods and the members of their families that chose to attend and pledge their love to one another. Their devotion, their loyalty, and their honor before joining as one in heart and in spirit.

The ewe had so lost herself in her fantasy, her safe haven, that the world around her had managed to fall away. Only managing to tear herself away from her work when then first rays of the morning brought her back to her reality. She was still in the Hunter home, still in Dorian's domain, and soon enough she would have to face the day and whatever it was set to bring.

The ewe carefully eased herself off of the mattress, doing her best not to wake the tiny vixen still sleeping peacefully as she tightly grappled her pillow in the place of the ewe's fluffy poof before cautiously rolling her suitcase out from beneath its place under the bed. With deliberately soft steps the ewe made her way across the room, carrying the suitcase to keep the wheels from rattling against the hardwood floor as she approached the room divider. Once behind the privacy of its curtain, the ewe too to dressing herself in the most worn out and comfortable set of clothes she had packed in preparation for working the stand. And old lavender blouse with flowing sleeves that she could easily roll up should she need to work with dough. And a simple, but trusty deep purple skirt to go with it that she didn't mind staining.

Taking a seat on the hardwood floor, the ewe pulled her pocket mirror from the case, as well as her usual wool care equipment to spend a few minutes getting her wool back in order. The diminutive vixen had done quite a number to her usually solid and bouncy spherical bouffant, but it was nothing a few minutes with the wool brush and a heavy application of wool cream couldn't manage to tame.

Adding the last touches to her hair, the ewe prepared to snap her compact shut only to freeze just short of the nearly involuntary action. She stared at the weary-looking ewe staring back at her, the sadness etched into her features appearing almost permanent in the bleary reflection. With a wavering sigh, the ewe tried to assure herself that she was okay. That everything would work out. To take her own words she had spent yesterday evening telling Vernon to heart and trying to remain optimistic despite herself. Dawn forced a smile to her muzzle, and for a moment she nearly had herself convinced she could do it.

"As long as I'm head of this household, you ain't never gonna be a Hunter!"

Her smile dropped the second the words replayed in her head, the ewe letting out another weak and shuddering sigh as she felt herself faltering.

Dawn wasn't sure how to press on with this facade. With Dorian in charge, any sort of leeway made at Hunter Household with the other members of the family meant little. What sort of organic relationship could she truly hope to foster with the icy white wolf acting as a roadblock? Certainly none that required visiting the Hunter Ranch to say the least. The ewe wondered how her sisters would react to Dorian's assessment of her, or the Hunters for that matter? What about Audrey, his mate? The ewe couldn't even begin to picture the disaster that was waiting to happen should she breathe a word of her confrontation with the wolf to anyone in the family, especially Vernon. The damage done would most certainly be devastating, and the rifts that would be driven between members of the family might prove far too vast to mend.

Yet she had to endure two more days. Two more days of biting her tongue while Dorian's words ate a hole through her stomach. And in that moment, the ewe remained uncertain that she could stand it.

Then she saw it. Behind her reflection in the mirror she could see her suitcase. The purple container still left open, with notes and clothes haphazardly strewn about. But among the various bits of necessities and wool care products she could see the edge of a familiar band sticking out from between two notebooks. The bracelet she extracted with great care before laying it to rest gently in her palm.

"Puppy's Best Friend." She read softly, a warm smile forming on her muzzle.

Carefully the ewe slid the familiar, albeit childish looking bracelet onto her wrist. Dawn gave it a gentle spin, letting out a quiet chuckle as a few of the translucent bead caught glimmers of light as they spun before clutching down on the bracelet with her other hand. The ewe squeezed it tightly, holding it as if it were a sacred talisman that would protect her from her own thoughts. Drawing strength from the simple presence of it on her arm. A reminder that no matter what, she had her 'Puppy Love'. And in the end, that was all she really wanted.

Dawn could feel her confidence returning as she clutched the bracelet.

She could do it, she could get through it. And then, once they returned to Zootopia she and Vernon could start planning their 'real' wedding and put Dorian's nastiness behind them. While she loved her new sisters and brothers dearly, she could get along just fine without returning to the ranch, and would be more than happy to invite them out to Zootopia should they be so inclined to see her.

'Vernon probably doesn't even care about getting a 'tithing' ceremony.' The ewe reassured herself. 'Between the official caprid wedding and our partnership license I'm sure he'll be more than satisfied.'

As Dawn closed her suitcase, zipping it shut as quietly as possible she continued the positive mental self-encouragement. The ewe growing more confident with each soft stride she made on her way back to her bedside. With a quiet huff, the ewe slid her case back under the mattress and eased herself back onto her bed next to the slumbering arctic fox.

Gently closing her laptop, the ewe came to a final conclusion.

"I can wait to tell Vernon what happened when we get home." Dawn mused to herself. " He'll be mad sure, but with that much distance between him and his Father he'll have time to cool off and then..." Dawn paused, the next words even her more optimistic approach was having a hard time parsing. " Maybe they can talk it out like adult mammals."

Vrrt! Vrrt!

Dawn nearly jumped out of her pelt at the sudden, abrupt noise. It was a quiet droning sound, but it was close enough to startle her. The ewe's eyes began to scan wildly for the source, glancing back at Qali for a moment and raising an eyebrow. The fox was still slumbering away, her paws choking her pillow to death.

"Did you...?" Dawn muttered softly.

Vrrt! Vrrt!

This time Dawn felt it, the slight and familiar vibration trembling through the blanket beneath her. Glancing over near the side of her laptop, she spied her Carrot phone resting softly where she had left it to charge. The screen of the device now dimly lit with a message prompt.

The ewe rolled her eyes at her moment of brief stupidity before quickly scooping the phone into her hands before it could make any more noise. With a flick of her hoof the screen came to life, the text alert now clear and visible as it hung over her home screen.

"Two new messages from Judy Hopps."

"Lamb Sakes..." Dawn uttered quietly. "I completely forgot about Judy!"

Opening the app, the ewe was greeted with both messages, each sent within seconds of one another.

"Judy: Dawn, you awake? I know it's pretty early, but I wanted to check in."

"Judy: Unless you were asleep and my text woke you up. If so, I'm sorry."

Dawn rolled her eyes, letting out a soft chuckle at the rabbit's message string. It was clear from the split seconds between the messages and the second-guessing herself the rabbit was already firing on all cylinders. Dawn's reply was considerably shorter, and what the ewe could only imagine in comparison to the rabbit, slower.

"Yes, I'm awake". The ewe texted back.

Dawn watched the screen in silence. For a moment it remained still, but soon enough Dawn could see the ellipses denoting the rabbit was in the process of typing a reply.

"Judy: Couldn't sleep either?"

Dawn's expression shifted to a dull glare as she let out a quiet, sarcastic laugh.

"Define sleep... Dawn responded.

Again Dawn watched as the ellipses danced below her last message.

"Judy: Yeesh, that bad huh?" Came the reply.

Dawn placed a hoof over her eyes, slowly pulling it down her face as she let out an exasperated sigh. The ewe taking a moment to release some of her previous tension before continuing the conversation.

"Bad, is putting it lightly Judy." The ewe answered.

There was a slight pause before the rabbit began to type her response.

"Judy: You want to talk about it?"

Dawn let out another soft, sarcastic chuckle before keying in her reply.

"It would take me hours to go over everything." Dawn texted. "It's really something we should save for discussion on a coffee meet after all this is said and done."

The pause was longer this time, leaving Dawn to imagine the rabbit was pondering her next statement with a greater degree of care.

"Judy: You sure?" By the time the message popped, Judy was already typing a follow-up.

"Judy: How about a 'Clop's Notes' version?"

Dawn smirked at the response. The ewe wasn't sure about exactly how to distill all that had happened to her in just the two days she had been at the Hunter Ranch, but she supposed she could try. Dawn pondered quietly, organizing and trimming her planned response in her head in order to get as much information out with the least amount of text as possible. It had to be getting close to breakfast time now, and soon enough the ewe would be far too busy to keep up with a long-running test conversation.

"Well let's see..." Dawn texted, preparing the rabbit for the oncoming info dump.

"To start with, Vernon's Father hates me." Dawn added, feeling a particularly painful sting inside her chest as she pressed send. " I mean, he told me to my face more or less, but I haven't told Vernon yet."

As Dawn continued to type, Judy gave a short and simple reply.

"Judy: Oh..." The text popped up.

"Judy: I'm so sorry Dawn." She followed up with.

" We also got kicked out of the fair yesterday for being a pred/prey couple, the North Meadowlands Representative going so far as asking Vernon's whole family to leave." Dawn continued.

"And to top it all off I had my remnant estrus yesterday, and Vernon and I got caught rutting in the family cornfield because he howled during it." Dawn added.

Judy's response was immediate.

"Judy: Yikes... -_-* " The text popped up.

"And that's not even the half of it..." Dawn replied. "There is so much more that's happened over just the last two days. It's been a rollercoaster." Dawn shook her head dismissively as she typed. " I just gave you the 'highlights'."

It seemed like at least a minute rolled by before Judy began typing a response, giving the ewe time to make a quick scan of the bedroom to make sure she still hadn't disturbed the other Hunter girls. Fortunately even Qali, who remained tightly gripped to her pillow, coiled around it protectively.

"Judy: I hope there are some positives... :/" The rabbit eventually replied.

Dawn chuckled softly to herself.

"Oh there are, it really isn't all bad." Dawn typed a reply. " I get along well with Vernon's Mother, as well as most of his brothers."

"Judy: 'Most', huh?" The rabbit was quick to reply.

Dawn rolled her eyes.

"Well, I suppose nobodies family is perfect right?" The ewe replied. "You can't really win 'em all."

Before Judy could finish her reply, Dawn tapped out another quick addendum to her list of positives. " I've also gotten very close with Vernon's Sister-in-laws."

The rabbit's ellipses paused, giving Dawn time to add more or less conclude her statement.

"But the way things have been going, The negatives are beginning to wear me down faster than any of the positives can help build me back up." Dawn sent, letting out a soft, tired sigh.

The ellipses on Judy's incoming message remained frozen for a moment or two, most likely waiting to see if the ewe was done with her line of thought before pressing forward with her reply. But eventually, the little dots began to move again.

"Judy: You want to talk about imperfect families?" That response forced a ewe to stifle a giggle. She could already tell where the rabbit was going.

"Judy: Not to belittle your struggle, but getting the approval of seven siblings instead of three-hundred has considerably better odds, trust me."

Dawn shook her head trying to keep the rising smirk that was desperately trying to form on her muzzle as the rabbit continued.

"Judy: The thing that really baffles me is how my Dad is acting about me and Nick." Judy added. "Well, not really baffles me, but it's certainly hypocritical."

Dawn was quick to reply, eager to hear what must have been the starting point for the doe's own weekend struggle at the Carrot Day festival.

"Oh?" Dawn replied. "But I thought you told me your Father liked Nick?"

Dawn waited, Judy seemingly taking a moment to figure out how to reply. The ewe knew from previous conversations that Nick had been on trips with her to Bunny Burrow several times over the years. Unlike her and Vernon, the family was quite familiar with the fox. And when it came to Judy's Father, he was absolutely enamored with him. The prospect of someone keeping an eye on the rabbit in her 'dangerous' line of work, and his knowledge of the inner workers of Zootopia proving to be an easy angle to charm the older rabbit. Judy had even mentioned the fact that Nick had been teaching him a variety of way to gain the upper hand in her Father's weekly poker game. Sufficed to say, all of the previous accounts from Judy had lead Dawn to believe the two mammals had a healthy and robust 'bromance' between them. After a few moments, the rabbit finally texted back.

" 'Judy: Liked' being the key word here. " Just replied, ending her sentence with a frowning rabbit emoji. "He loved Nick when he was just my partner. But now that I announced we are dating...well...you get the idea."

Dawn chuckled quietly to herself as she read the reply.

"Judy: Now the old buck is acting like Nick committed a crime against mammality or something." The rabbit followed up.

The ewe lets out a sigh, at least she wasn't the only one suffering when it came to this issue. although she found herself wondering if the situation was just as bad as hers. Still, the ewe wanted to keep the conversation light, and trying to compare the nuances between their situation would have to be reserved for a later time. Nor did Dawn want to fall into the trap of playing the game of 'who has it worse'.

"Sounds like we both are having Father problems. :/" Dawn replied. "It feels better to know I'm not alone at least."

The rabbit was already typing a reply as the ewe hit send.

"Judy: The worse part is that Nick being Nick, is actively making it worse by antagonizing him. Bleh." Another frowning rabbit icon followed the statement. "Judy: Nick actually asked him last night if "Plowing the field was as rough for him as when Nick 'plows' me."

Dawn clasped her muzzle tightly in an effort to keep her laughter from escaping at the fox's statement. She was sure it was embarrassing to Judy, but being outside of it made it particularly hilarious.

"Judy: The two of them are starting to drive me crazy!" Judy typed back, a rabbit emoji with swirly eyes following the text. "Judy: But I'm going to settle this stupid thing once and for all today."

The ewe quirked a curious eyebrow as she read over the question. Judy was always the kind of mammal to take the initiative when it came to solving a seemingly impossible problem. It was something the ewe admired about the rabbit. But in this instance, it didn't seem like a problem one could just force a fix upon.

"How?" Dawn responded dumbly, her lips mouthing the word as she typed.

The rabbit was quick with a reply.

"Judy: We're going back to the fair today." Judy replied. "Judy: And I'm forcing them on to the Ferris wheel together."

Dawn scrunched her muzzle in confusion, the rabbit's plan seeming more baffling than her initial declaration.

"O...kay...?" Dawn replied, but the rabbit was already typing.

"Judy: I know the rabbit who runs the Ferris wheel, and he owes me a favor." Judy continued. "I'm going to have him stop them at the top, and Mom and I won't let them down until they bury the hatchet!"

Dawn stifled a chuckle out the outlandish plan, it was a classic Judy solution.

"I don't know if I could do the same thing in my case..." Dawn replied, a frown returning to her muzzle. "I feel it's a bit more complicated than that with Vernon and Dorian."

There was a momentary pause before the ellipses danced at the bottom of the screen again.

"Judy: His Father?" Judy finally replied.

"Yes." The ewe typed back.

"Judy: How so?" Judy fired back almost as quickly as Dawn had sent her message.

This comment was drawing the conversation dangerously close to treading back on having to be a three-hour discussion, something the ewe was certain she didn't have time for. Dawn tried to think of a short reply, eventually coming up with something to move the conversation along. But while she was in the middle of typing the reply, a soft knock came at the bedroom door, drawing her attention away from the screen.

"Dawn, ya'll up?" The door opened slightly, and the ewe spotted a familiar nose wiggle its way in between the crack. "Honey Lamb?" The muzzle whispered.

"Vernon?" Dawn whispered back.

The door opened wider, allowing the wolf to poke his head in the rest of the way. Vernon flashed the ewe a small smile.

"'Mornin' Darlin'." Vernon said softly, his eyes scanning the room slowly before shifting his attention back to the ewe. "Dressed already?" Vernon asked.

Dawn rapidly cleared the unfinished message from her screen, entering a quick reply before shutting the phone down and sliding it in her pocket. 'Saved by the wolf.' She thought to herself.

"I'll talk to you later, Vernon's up. gtg." The response read.

With her cell tucked away, the ewe eased off the side of the bed as quietly as she could before scrambling her way over to the wolf at the door. as she approached, Vernon widened the gap, allowing himself to slip partially inside the bedroom. The wolf was dressed in a simple grey hoodie, and a beat up pair of jeans, wearing one of his favorite bandannas around his neck.

"So are you." Dawn replied in a hushed voice as she came up beside him.

Vernon smirked, glancing down at his hoodie.

"Takes me about five minutes er' less to get ready fer the day Floof's." Vernon chuckled softly. "It ain't like I'm the type to fuss with my looks too much." The wolf ran a paw through the tuft of fur on his scalp, letting out a soft sigh as he dragged it back.

"You sleep alright Mutton Chop?" The wolf's features took on a look of concern. "I mean considerin' the prep ya'll do in the mornin' I take it you've been up fer a while now."

Dawn looked away slightly, she couldn't really bring herself to look the wolf in the eyes, but the lamb played it off as glancing back at the other girls.

"Eh..." Dawn muttered. "I slept okay." Dawn shrugged as she brought her attention back to the wolf.

Vernon chuckled softly as he stood on the tips of his feet, glancing further back into the bedroom. Following his eye line, she could see the wolf had settled his gaze on the still snoring Malcolm. The wolf was now laying on his back, his muzzle opening and closing widely as he practically snarled in his sleep.

"Yeah..." Vernon smirked, looking back down to Dawn. "Suppose I should have told you Malcolm's a snorer."

Vernon giggled quietly as she turned back to Vernon.

"How does Xavier sleep through that?" Dawn asked.

Vernon rolled his eyes slightly. "Earplugs." The wolf said bluntly before placing a paw by his face and leaning down and closer to Dawn. "Malcolm don't know, so don't tell him."

Dawn had to stifle a laugh as the wolf rose to his feet again.

"So, ya'll ready to get some food in ya before we head out?" Vernon asked, slipping his paws into his pockets. "Ma made 'caramel prench toast' just fer us. And trust me, it's amazin'. "

The ewe quirked an eyebrow in confusion.

"Just for us?" Dawn glanced back at the other mammals still peacefully asleep just in time to catch Malcolm scratching his gut again. "You mean, we aren't going to wake them up?"

Vernon shook his head dismissively.

"Ma thinks it's best to let 'em sleep in." Vernon replied with a slight frown. " Considerin' Pa's 'ban' and all it ain't like they'll be comin' with us, plus most of 'em are probably gonna need to help set up fer the barbeque." Vernon shrugged. " 'Sides, Ma thought it might be nice fer the three of us to have a nice, quiet meal together." The wolf flashed her a soft smile. "And I kinda liked the idea."

"But what about their breakfast?" Dawn asked, throwing another glance back at the slumbering mammals. "Surely they don't want to miss out?"

Vernon shook his head. "Ma says Malcolm's got 'em covered. He's on home cookin' duty today anyway." The wolf said with a smirk. "He always handles the barbeque cookin' after all."

Dawn nodded, taking another glance back at the sleepy mammals. The idea of a nice, quiet breakfast without the wild clamorous din of the entire Hunter family, as much as she loved them, did sound rather nice. It certainly was a reassurance that mammals like Yuri and Ulric wouldn't be there to start the day off even more so on the wrong hoof than it already had.

Dawn turned back to the wolf, flashing him a weak smile.

"That sounds lovely Vernon." The ewe whispered.

Dawn could see the wolf's tail wagging softly behind him as a warm smile curled across his muzzle.

"Excellent" The wolf went to clap his paws together, nearly making the impact before the wolf caught himself. The wolf tried to play off his mistake by quickly running one of the offending paws through his hair. "So, ahem..." The wolf cleared his throat. "Ya'll ready then?"

Dawn smiled at the goofy canine, giving him a soft assenting nod.

"Just let me put my laptop away and get my jacket, okay?" Dawn replied.

Vernon smirked, giving the ewe a nod as she turned back toward her bedside. Making her way back to the bed, the ewe slid her suitcase out from beneath the mattress once more, unzipping and opening the purple case before reaching for her laptop. The ewe gingerly rested it on top of her clothes, pulling the plug free of the wall before draping it on top of the computer.

As Dawn reached for her coat that was sticking out of the side of the bag, she felt a familiar rumble in her pocket.

Vrrt! Vrrt!

Clearly Judy had replied, but the ewe waited until she had closed her suitcase and returned it to the spot beneath the bed before pulling the phone free of her pocket.

Making her way back toward Vernon, her coat slung over her shoulder, the ewe opened the phone once more to read the rabbits reply.

"Judy: Alright, good luck Dawn."

Dawn smirked as she slid the phone back into it's resting place within her pocket before turning her attention back to the awaiting wolf.

"Got a message?' Vernon asked. "Nothin' important I hope..." The wolf flashed her a worried look.

Dawn let out a soft chuckle.

"It's nothing Puppy, just Judy." The ewe replied.

The wolf's frown dissipated, a smile returning in its place. "Aww, rabbit cop again? Tell I said hi!"

Dawn giggled. "Later, okay. Now let's go eat." Dawn said, grasping the wolf's paw with her free hoof. "I'm famished."

Vernon chuckled softly. "Alright. Alright."

As the couple walked away from the bedroom, the wolf gingerly closing the door behind them as they stepped away, Dawn continued to ruminate on Judy's last text. The words resting in the forefront of her mind along with the other mantras she had been focusing on just moments earlier.

"Alright, good luck Dawn."

"By the gods, I hope so..." Dawn thought to herself. "I certainly need it."

#Zootopia #zoosona #fanfiction #Assistant Mayor Bellwether #furry #wasted time #dawn bellwether #wolf #OC

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