#aphmau angst

[dilftesbiggestfan]

Have we ever seen Dante and gene’s father? No, Was he ever mentioned? No, have I decided to make him the most deadbeat piece of shit out there? yeah

Gene has serious daddy issues you can’t convince me otherwise.

[dantes-gf]

aphtober day 1: welcome home

[cinnamontoastcroonch]

he’s pissed & needs to be kissed.

once i saw somebody on a diff platform say that the sk’s hair floats slightly when transformed & i really liked that idea so i tried to emulate it

whoever is on the other end of his lil dagger is in for it

[xerith-42]

Laurance Minecraft Diaries Headcanons that are canon because I say so

-Laurance doesn't like mirrors. His appearance has changed so much and so drastically over such a short period of time that he doesn't like looking at his own reflection because it just reminds him that he can't go back to the person he used to be, no matter how badly he wants to.

-There's a spot near the center of his back where he carries most of his stress. If anyone puts pressure on that point Laurance collapses because it's so tense all the time there and he just never wants to let anyone worry about him so he tries to never be around others with his armor off.

-This slips into Garroth headcanons but Garroth has a similar spot on his back due to a deviated septum and the two of them noticed these things about one another the first time they had downtime together. Both resolved to try and help ease the stress of one another.

-Laurance's favorite color is green.

-He really loves other people's eyes. There's so much people think they hide but they give away everything with their eyes. Garroth has a frown line between his eyebrows when he makes his serious guard face TM, Katelyn says a lot from just a flick of her eyes in combat, Travis' eyes give away how much of his time is spent admiring others. Nobody realizes Laurance notices these things about them but he does.

-After the whole fiasco on the cat island, cats naturally start to be comfortable around Laurance. Strays walk around his legs and start purring before he even pets them. Even after the curse is reversed, he still faintly smells like a cat, and other cats recognize him as a really really big cat.

-Laurance really loves carrying people. Nobody ever lets him do it enough but he loves picking up his friends, or the kids when they want to climb on him, or any of Aphmau's dogs who will let him, Laurance thinks that the strength to hold someone's entire weight and proudly doing so is a beautiful display of love.

-When they were kids Laurance picked up woodcarving so he could make little dolls that Cadenza could then practice her dress making on. He stopped making them as he got older and more busy with guard work, but there's still a chest hiding in a house in Old Meteli that has a handful of small wooden figures with beautiful dresses and colorful hair.

-Laurance isn't sure if he believes in soulmates anymore. He used to, but then it started to feel like a curse. Now he questions if it's even a concept worth considering as a possibility.

[propertyofrjl]

As someone who is currently rewatching all of Aphmau's series and has major brain rot over the Aphverse, i am desperate to find a fic where some of the mystreet people get somehow transported to the MCD universe. BECAUSE IMAGINE THE ANGST POTENTIAL IF MYSTREET!ZANE WAS IN THIS GROUP OMG.

MCD!Garroth having to see what he could have had with his own brother if things were different is breaking my heart.

OH OH OH BUT ALSO

Right imagine this little mystreet group is also when they're teenagers, smol little Zane being transported to a world where pretty much everyone despises him because MCD!Zane is the embodiment of evil.

Like, maybe little Aphmau and Zane get separated from the others and end up in Phoenix drop, they manage to make it to the town square where Molly is coming back from praying to Irene, and she sees Zane, the man who hurt her precious baby and used dark magic on their town. Molly then runs to alert whichever guard she can find (it just so happens that Laurence, Garroth and Dante are all leaving the guard tower for their respective patrols at that moment)

These men run to the town square, fearing the place they are sworn to protect is under attack by one of the most dangerous tyrants of their time, and they come to find not only Zane (who's looking around with a sour look on his face, and albeit a little smaller than Garroth remembers) but also the woman they spend their lives protecting (and two of said party are definitely, totally, not in love with her...)

And when i say they're teenagers, i mean the first season of PDH vibes, so Zane and Aphmau with these squeaky voices and no social skills, and Aphmau has spent most of her time looking around in awe up until that point because OH MY IRENE ZANE IT'S JUST LIKE MY GAME!!!

Laurence moves first, rushing over he knocks Zane to the ground harshly before yanking Aphmau away, to which she screams because this tall, scar covered, very scary looking version of her friend (or maybe crush depending on when in PHD this happens) has picked her up far too easily for her liking and she's worried about Zane.

Then Garroth and Dante move in, and suddenly Zane is being looked down upon by his big brother with such a look of disgust and hatred that has never happened before. Garroth loves Zane. Sure they disagree and fight every now and then, they're brothers, but Zane knows Garroth loves him and would keep him safe, and even though he wouldn't admit it, Zane loves his brother too. But the scary and hate filled man standing above him does not make Zane feel safe, and a flush of fear runs through him, followed by watery eyes and embarrassment because why is he feeling so weak and despised by one of the only men in his life who's provided a steady stream of love (unlike his dad)

And when Zane pulls his shaking hands up in surrender, with this wounded animal look upon his face, MCD!Garroth almost has to double take, because not even as children has he ever seen Zane look at him with such fear, the only man who'd ever brought fear upon Zane's face was their father, and maybe that gives Garroth his own little internal crisis because he's tried so hard to be nothing like dear old dad.

BUT ALSO, LETS PICTURE THIS

The rest of the group (let's say...Laurence, KC and Garroth) show up, and they try to find a way home without the help of the villagers of Phoenix drop, only to be attacked and have Zane kidnapped by people MCD!Zane has royally pissed off. The little group run back to Phoenix drop for help, and all the MCD lot just can't seem to understand why these little versions of themselves/their friends want to help Zane of all people so badly. It takes the Garroths having a full on row over it and Mystreet!Aph breaking down in tears to get people to help (because how can Laurence and Garroth watch a small version of the woman they love sob and not do something to try and help?) and obvi Lord Aphmau was on board the moment they asked and was going to do it alone before her Guards through out their protests and Little Garroth decided to cuss out MCD!Garroth for "abandoning his baby brother" (which is where the fight started)

...

Maybe I should write this myself...

Anyway, that's where my brain has gotten me today.

[merantidote]

DAY SEVEN: IN ANOTHER LIFE

or the world in which laurance succumbs

[zuenvy]

thinking abt the meifwa and werewolf marriage plot in season two and it makes me actually violently ill its a very VERY random plot point but i cannot stop thinking abt it

like you get drugged by a purple haired meifwa . Wake up NAKED in a cold ass cell. Where’s your other guard?? Oh he’s with the purple haired meifwa who’s trying to COME ON to him as if she didn’t drug him (I FEEL LIKE THIS IS SOMETHING NO ONE TALKS ABT LIKE THATS SO SCARY? Waking up and it’s just you with some random chick????) but he keeps rejecting her advances so she sets him up to DIE?? THE FLIPPP!?!!!

[cloffmoff]

ok I'm not big into the mystreet rewrites even though I deffo understand why people do them, but this is my personal little rewrite of that one scene in season 6 when garroth and zane are fighting 😊

instead of zane moving his mask and telling garroth 'i love you big brother' (which like sure, but this entire time zane has been saying the same thing so why now is garroth snapping out of the control of the forever potion?) garroth stabs zane through the shoulder, and as he's falling to the ground his hair is moved off his right eye and garroth sees the scars on/over his eye -from throwing that snowball at him when they were kids-and thats what snaps him out of it

Because garroth comes to the realization that he's hurting his brother again due to something he has no control over and that's so painful for him that it snaps him out of the potion

I think this works better than zane removing his mask because like yeah, he's being vulnerable, but isn't their whole arc about garroth accepting who zane is as his own person, not just in garroth's shadow? The mask is a part of zane, he's always wearing it, so him taking it off is kind of saying 'I will change who I am for you' which isn't the right message in my opinion. I think it's better if garroth has to realize something, especially something like 'oh dang I'm hurting zane because of something Garte imposed on me, like I've been doing my whole life'

anywayyy my favorite trope is tragic brothers so I dig deep into garroth and zane 😊😊

[mothmoonle]

Mystreet Garroth Headcanon:

So what if Garroth was conditioned as a kid (by Garte) to not use his strength. To control his anger and emotions to not get too excited and break someone/something.

What if instead of vaporising doors Shamelessly, he becomes quiet and still, silently (because he has to be) angry at himself for losing control again.

Instead on being touch affectionate and big on hugs, what if he distances himself from others, afraid of getting them hurt.

In instances where strength is needed to do something or save someone, what if he's paralysed, unable to forget memories of Garte screaming at him for being too strong.

Garroth banned from participating in sports due to being too rough, him going on runs/exercising by himself because thats the only way he can let out his emotions without worrying about people around. What if he did things like weight training, and boxing and whatever so he can learn to control his movements and know his strength.

What if Garroth hates that he's this big intimidating (in this case anyway) muscle-man and is fucking terrified to touch people.

Him flinching away from touch as a reflex he learnt as a kid, and people thinking something *else* is going on.

In conclusion, touch starved Garroth, terrified of his own strength.

[lucindasthighs]

Yknow I wish they played with Aphmau's depression more in mcd

After Aaron died, she almost completely shut down, understandably so. But after like a few episodes, she was kinda back to normal (still very much grieving tho) and I think that sucks.

Show me a broken lord that has lost someone so dear to them. For the first time, there is no "rescue", no "we'll find a way." He is dead and gone, and she couldn't stop it.

Show me an empty warrior who can't enjoy the peaceful present because he's not there. Garroth is, and he is a constant reminder of what happened. It's not his fault, no, but she can't bear to look at him and see someone else.

Show me Irene, who once again has gone numb. But this time, her lord of shadows was not unfairly persecuted. He surrendered himself, and somehow, that's worse.

But Aphmau is not Irene. And this time, she can pick herself back up. Little by little, piece by piece.

[iridiss]

(Edited vers, cause this is actually a wonderful opportunity to share my thoughts on laurmau pet names) Based on the headcanon that, once Aphmau unlocks her Irene powers, Laurance starts to call her “dove,” after her white wings. It’s a much more personal and private nickname than “my Lady,” which is technically a formal, literal official term of respect from a soldier to a female Lord, like calling her “ma’am” or “sir.” It’s still very sweet and affectionate, and technically the military respect inherent in the title only makes the pet name more reverent, honoring, and respectful, but Aphmau is literally his Lady. It’s like a bow of the head to your General or Baroness, and as her hired right-hand-guard, it’s stating how he literally belongs to her (something that means a little more than usual given that he originally belonged solely to Meteli and their army). It means a lot because Aphmau knows that Laurance means a lot when he says it, he’s not saying “ma’am” to be socially correct in his formalities, he’s saying it because he MEANS it. All of the emotional subtext within the title is emphasized tenfold, which contrasts other characters of high status being referenced more stoically. Like Zane is called “Your Grace,” “Your Holiness,” “Your Eminence,” “Your Excellency,” list goes on, by his soldiers and followers because he’s feared. If you don’t refer to him with the highest (solely) formal respect, he may actually kill you. Laurance says it with his heart, not his head

So therefore, “my dove” is a much more intimate alternative that he uses in more private, vulnerable moments, since it cuts straight past any sort of formalities, disregarding their business, work, or titles, and addresses her purely affectionately as someone very dear to him. It’s like “My Lady” says “I revere you” but “my dove” is reserved for “I’m speaking purely as your friend and closest, dearest ally (and probably lover) when I say this/you mean a lot to me PERSONALLY/etc” etc. etc. it goes straight to the heart, from the heart. I don’t think anyone else but Garroth, Aaron, or Cadenza would even know about it, it’s that intimate and rare

(He also calls Void Paradox Aphmau “Blackbird” exclusively, to help distinguish between the two of them)

Anyway, this comic would take place in the au after Garroth traps himself in the Irene Dimension, but before they get him back. Both of them were hit very hard by losing him, and are desperate to get him back. Sometimes to the point of insomnia.

[laurancezvahlslefteyebrow]

ANGST ANGST ANGST

CW: Blood and some scary words

What If: Garroth didn’t pass out when Zenix shot him

i made a few versions

[somnas-writes]

Garroth couldn’t express how he felt properly so the only way he could was through poetry.

Nobody knew about it, except Dale.

After Garroth goes missing, Dale holds onto the poetry. He tucks it away and keeps it safe.

Aphmau (and Laurance) never read the poems written about them. The verses describing the light in their eyes, the twinkle in their voice, the flutter he feels look at them.

It’s all hidden

[cinnamontoastcroonch]

scene redraw (s2 ep14)

“don’t you dare run where i can’t protect you”

[xerith-42]

Hey guyyyys!! I'm baaack with a fresh batch of Laurance angst brought to you by "I really like this random design detail and will try my damnedest to make it make sense." The design detail in question is heterochromia!

Today's programming involves discussion of torture and probably some body horror

So, I'm a big believer in heterochromatic Laurance. It's just real to me. Because honestly both of his very distinct looks are serving cunt in very distinct Laurance Zvahl ways. I have a preference for his original appearance because I have a few bones to pick with Jessica's design decisions, but the pale blue and even blind eyes fit Laurance really well.

In a separate iteration of Laurance I made him lose one of his eyes before the rebirth process, so his heterochromia was unrelated to the whole pseudo-zombie thing. But in MCD... Well... Everything comes back to Shadow Knights.

Little Larry has beautiful emerald green eyes that then get utterly destroyed by the cruelness of the hell he willingly threw himself into to save those he loves. And uhhh, Laurance in canon says he was tortured down there. So let's get into that, shall we? Now, a thing about torture methods is that there's a lot of them, they're really easy to come up with if you have even a slightly sadistic mindset, and they are often focused. Most people who frequently engage in torture chose one field of the body to focus on.

Now let's look at Gene. Obviously for his magical and psychological torture, his focus is on the mind. But what about his physical methods? Obviously Gene gets his kicks out of people in pain, yet I think his real focus is when it gets personal. When someone isn't just in pain, but they are crying, shaking, writhing in agony while staring up at him cursing his bloodline. The eyes are the window into the mind and they say so much that the mouth can't when words fail or are restricted.

Gene focuses on eyes. He remembers them. They haunt him. When he's learning how to break people, he learns how to use their very sense of sight against them. It's already what he knows how to do with his magic and extreme gaslighting tactics. If he has a focus, if he has a piece of information he needs, and he has a target, then he'll focus on the eyes. If he, for example, thinks that Laurance has more information on either realm barriers or Aphmau, who is quickly becoming a point of interest for the Shadow King, then he'll have a reason.

But he can't possibly permanently ruin both of Laurance's eyes. He still needs another for at least semi-proper comprehension of how fucked he is. Gene doesn't need more than one eye. And I like to characterize Gene as a bit of a mad scientist, testing out his magic and Shadow Knight powers in extreme and unhinged ways.

Who knows what he did to Laurance's eye, what happened when he destroyed it and regenerative powers brought it back over and over. What effects traversing between realms had on whatever the fuck Gene did to make it so bad it didn't even resemble his original eye color.

Irene's blessing is able to mitigate the damage on his other eye, the one that was only blinded by realm travel, and bring it almost back to its original state. A pale sage color that has partial but still restricted vision. Laurance is grateful for what little eyesight he has. His other eye, the one Gene targeted... It doesn't come back. After the realm barrier blinded it, there was no undoing the damage anymore. It remains a cloudy pale blue, scars running across the skin around it and through his retinas.

I want to make it clear that Laurance isn't ashamed of this. He doesn't try to hide his eye, but he is cagey to answer questions about it. Most people are smart enough not to question, and he'll open up to the people he cares about (ie Garroth and Aphmau) when he's ready. I have a whole arc related to his blindness that's a whole side blog post I'm working on, but Laurance doesn't forsake the sight he has and he also doesn't lament what he's lost.

"Cad[endza] and Aphmau keep saying they want to bring my sight back. [I] know they mean well but... I can't tell them what happened. I don't think either one of them could take it. Garroth might be able to, but I don't think either of us trust each other enough for that conversation yet. I don't need my eyesight back, and I don't need anyone to fix my left eye. If they knew what that monster did, they would be grateful I have an eye to be blinded.

He doesn't encourage anyone to try and bring it back, and he might even get upset if they're too insistent about it. He's not exactly eager for another magic user to get their hands too close to an already severely damaged eye. He might not say it out loud to someone, but... [blinks my gay little eyes] There's a page in his journal that reads--

Text ID:

[ponkch0]

Dudes i just came across the “hello? This is your mother are you coming home?” Audio on tik tok and started thinking,

Remember how i said i think Donna is a mom figure for aphmau? What if Donna, at the end of MCD was always waiting for aphmau too, the people with her obviously but Donna went out and looked for aphmau, she waited for aphmau day and night, she had dreams of aphmau coming back only to wake up and run to aphmau’s home to find it empty,as quiet as it was the last time she was there, do you think she stayed at aphmaus house? Hoping and prayin to Irene that she’d come back and be sleeping in her bed?

Idk i overthunk it but man

⚠️ content warning:Mild gore,Death. ⚠️

This is the video i found that made me think if y’all don’t know what I’m talking about