#apologies for the typing style it's also 2 am :) as im writing this :)

[unjorts]

i am absolutely gnawing at the bars of my enclosure rn. on my cr c3 catch-up and i just finished ep 91 and 92 im LOSING IT !!!! that was so good but also ?? ???? crown keepers ???? my beloveds ?????? hello ?????????

if (key word: if) the crown keepers survive this i hope they meet with the bells hells :) i just think they're neat :)

idk fearne meeting morrighan who has a past intertwined/linked to morrigan the fatesticher ? i wanna get into /that/ fun little plot point. and the hells meeting opal ?? dorym reunion ?? better yet, the chetney-dorian reunion ?? ugh i can't wait,, it's gonna be a mess. i love these two adventuring parties with my entire heart. doomed-by-the-narrative groups are so ,, mwah. chefs kiss.

anyway speaking of doomed-by-the-narrative,, god that whole scene with fcg's sacrifice actually kinda fucked me up a lil. like,, i was already spoiled by twt notifs (through no one's fault but my own i completely forgot to mute them lmao) but BOY OH BOY DID IT NOT LESSEN THE EMOTIONAL IMPACT AT ALL. if anything it made the entire catch-up worse /pos

(the part in the shattered teeth where they were talking to jirana :( they were gonna have another therapy session :( AND FRIDA OH GOD :(((( love letters :( )

and you're telling me i have to wait?? until friday???? criminal offense, honestly. (i know they say thursday but ahaha asian moment)

[wcamino-confessions]

Misconceptions and stuff - MiseryXCPR again

Stuff I forgot to add to the post / Saw within it from what others have said.

1) Im still technically an amateur at commissions, I'm still learning how to do them effectively and efficiently,  I'm still learning my style despite what everyone says about it, etc. I'm still ""new"" at commissions. I learned about a app called Trello, in which I have been looking into for future reference for commissions. Trello from my understanding helps organize a lot of things such as commissions due, person it belongs to, etc. I'm still looking into it but I'll definitely keep this in mind.

2) Terms of Services - I never had one. I'm still learning about commissions and taking them, I never had a TOS nor have I thought about it into too much because at first commissions were a- for fun type thing. Now, I do it as a part time job and I've been considering a Terms of Service but never got around to it - mostly due to how busy I am but also because I'm not familiar with learning how to do it. 

3) I will be working on my memory after hearing amazing advise from people. Trello will most likely be my solution, or writing things down on a sheet of paper is what someone advised me I believe.. I will be working on it as best as I can and will actively try to improve off of the situation. Please keep in mind; I'm not trying to excuse myself nor am I trying to make excuses or create a "pity party". I wanted to clear things up to show i have no ill intentions and that I am deeply sorry for the inconveniences.

4) "Why did I take so many commissions" - I have addictions that I am now currently battling and trying to face, commissions was an extra income for me to either get rides or important necessities like food, a home, etc or to fuel my addictions or want to help my "friends" whom use me for my money. It wasn't healthy of me to do so much nor was it worth the stress, and I am again- actively trying to battle these addictions. I do also enjoy art and such, at first it was a thrill to do commissions - I've never felt so proud that I could do something with my art. However I went overboard with the commissions and it became a drag and something unenjoyble. This regards any robux commissions I have done that doesn't involve the top one - which is why I mostly do PayPal commissions. 

5) More on Tansy, as I've been questioned about it and seen misinformation still going around. I have spoken to the person whom paid for them (will not involve them anymore due to their own request), and I've noticed that the commissioned they paid was 12$~ roughly. Which, is incorrect as I double checked and it was 8$ or 7,28$. I am still actively trying to give them back their money and solve the situation, and I do not wish for any ill intentions or harm towards anyone involved. 

7) I'm French, so my apologies for horrible wording or such. While I have lived in the states, i still suck at English. I also lack a lot of empathy, I struggle with it and I'm trying hard to find ways to understand and sympathise with others. I still try to do so. While this subject is very personal to me, I feel like this should be addressed.

8) Thank you to those who have been supportive and helping me still, I'm trying to balance out my real life situation and this whole situation and I want to help clear the air and at least help put others at ease. 

I have Full intentions on refunding a large amount of commissioners, and I already refunded many people as it is so I can "start over" once I deal with my real life situation. Thank you for all the advise, criticism and support, this will be my last message regarding the situation (if I need to clear up more information then please let me know)

Also, for those who have asked, I'm a male.

[pinksparklelps]

I really need to get this off my chest. Whether to just, inform, or give myself some kind of peace of mind. Because i think about this so frequently and sometimes it gets so overwhelming. Everything will be under the cut, so please, protect yourself if you do not like to read about discourse/drama.

First things first, im gonna do what i REALLY dont want to do, and thats ping who exactly im talking to. Even if they dont work at all. @velvet-sword @fluffnstuffq you two. You two are the main sources of my endless thoughts.

I want to start this off with how childish you were. Your “proof” is not proof. I am not, and never will be that stupid asshole terf Florence. I am just as much of a victim as all of you, and you have no right to say otherwise. I guess i could say its my fault for getting so close to popular people that are/are nearly adults when im STILL a kid. And when all of that shit went down i was, what, 14? And you expect me to act like the mature one.

Im so tired of thinking of this almost everyday because you caused me, AND MY GF so much pain and paranoia. Why, WHY on gods green earth would i EVER want to be florence? Tell me. Give me what you think are my thoughts. Because let me tell you, I HATE ATTENTION. Good, bad, neutral, ALL OF IT!! I do not like to be complimented because i feel like i dont deserve it, i dont like to be yelled at because i feel like a failure, i hate when people even LOOK at me because who KNOWS what on earth they could think about me? Even if its just polite eye contact, the thought of someone watching me makes me freeze.

I admit, i have used gacha back then, and I occasionally use it now because the minigames are fun. Character creators are good because i can make characters like that if im not feeling inspired. But SOOO many people use gacha life/club/whatever. Whos to say one of you didnt or did have it installed? I have no proof it was you, you have no proof it was me.

And the fact that you were harassing more people just solidifies the fact that i made a huge mistake in idolizing you back then. I was just a kid who like a silly game about music and shapes, and you basically ostracized me from the entire fandom. I havent played the game in like 2 years because of the terrible memories of you.

And Blitz!! Remember that one person you mentioned that you got us all against? I know them. Theyre actually a nice person. AND. You and gingy. You crossed the line, especially gingy. Stealing my characters after the fact, redesigning them EVER SO SLIGHTLY, and making a goddamn story with them? Even my spiritual oc’s that represent parts of me. You guys are supposed to be role models. You are popular, and older, and you do this to a fucking child? Ive been more mature than youve been in that situation. You all sent hate anons when i just walked away. I wanted to leave but you kept chasing me. Funny how i got no more hate after threatening to block them.

Speaking of which, “changing typing styles.” Only way i change my typing/writing is for fanfiction/stories and when i meet new people. I naturally incorporate others words and phrasing into my language. Hell, one of my new friends got “skill issue” from me haha. It seems to me like you couldve been projecting. Taking your actions and saying IVE done them so everyone looks at me instead of you. Funny, since you care so much about justice. Justice for everyone except the child who was also a victim of tracing and cyber bullying.

And i cant BELIEVE you would think i was abusing my gf. Shes smarter than that you know. If she were in a bad situation i know she would want to leave. If i knew i were hurting someone i would feel so guilty and push who i was hurting away. Well it seems my “loving and sweet gf” facade has worked for 2 years huh. Impressive of me isnt it? No. Me and my s/o are happy and we help each other grow every day. I do something wrong? They point it out, I apologize and do my best to fix it, and vice versa. Unlike you, i know that we are happy and in a really healthy relationship.

And since im talking about all this, rainb! Yes you! You were so incredibly uncomfortable to be around. Just seeing you type was enough for fight or flight to kick in. You were so harsh and not at all understanding and its a miracle you were allowed to be a mod. Sometimes i wonder how many people in that server got hurt and how much the server has fallen into disarray. I just hope people get out of toxic situations like i did.

And lastly, how dare you make fun of my fucking vents. You, you all are utterly amazing! I couldnt even begin to THINK of the possibility of someone doing that! You fucking assholes. I can be scared of my mom and still seek guidance from her. Shes my MOTHER! And i did NOT hide behind her, and it was only ONE TIME when you all were ganging up on me in a private chat. Its not my fault i froze and fucking broke down because you thought i could cause mass chaos in a community i loved. The second you start making fun of someones feelings that they trusted you with, you have become the monster.

No matter how much I despise each and every one of you, i do not wish for you to come to harm, even though you so obviously deserve it. I hate that i want you to be happy. But my mom told me it shows that im just a kind person. Sometimes i miss you, and i hate it because you were awful. I wholeheartedly believe in karma, but i also believe you can do better. I want, need, and deserve an apology, but i know you wont give it. And even if you do, im never ever going to forgive you for what you did to me. I once almost committed suic*de because i couldnt contact you and i didnt want to lose my friends. I couldve been sent to the mental institute back then because i cared so much about losing who i loved. But i see i put my life in the wrong hands.

I felt so hopeless in that server, but in my new group, i see so many talented people and know i trust them. I love them, and i dont feel sad knowing im not as good as them. They are talented, and even if i cant fully see it, i am too. I could never see myself as good enough with you all. But now im happier, and have good friends and family that i know care about me, even if i dont fully think i deserve it. Im happy with where i am. Im happy with how much ive grown.

And even though it hurt so much, im happy i met you guys because it was a learning experience that i never asked for.

I dont care what you have to say to or about me anymore.

Im happy.

[luselih]

Another new tumblr page! Welcome welcome!

I was wondering your thoughts on some of the Bleach captains with a very petite s/o? Think like… 4’8 - 5’2 , teeny tiny lil things. Someone who “looks” frail at first glance. Is someone smaller their type? Would that factor into any pursuit? 👀 You can go into NSFW territory if you like, but I’d be happy with SFW too!

miniature love(r) || gotei 13

summary/ask: bleach captains with tiny/petite s/o! (height underneath 5’2 / 157 cm tall)

content warnings | manga spoilers!!, separated in sfw/nsfw, sfw- mostly fluff (a little bit of angst) and my personal opinions of them having tiny fem s/o, teasing, kissing and physical affection, mentions of kids and domestic life, i think that’s it for this part, nsfw - so smut of course (minors dni), fem! reader, neutral skin color reader, yapping too much about kinks ,size kink go BRRRRR, oral (receiving), different sex positions, wlw!!, overstimulation, breeding + pregnancy + kids mentioned, mentions after care + more…

a/n - #1 i am actually using tumblr last 3 years but i just recently got back into writing lol and you got my european ass to convert those feet’s and inches to centimeters, 😦 i am like 5’8-9 feet ( around 175 cm-ish tall ) so please if i didn’t get a good point in this writing im sorry 😭, didn’t write for old man Yama, sorry not sorry honestly, he’s best grandpa tho <3

#2 also to say i wrote for captains in that picture (start of tybw lineup) if you are interested in past/future captains please send me a request! i don’t mind doing them later on~ Toshiro is aged up (grown up/him using his complete bankai)!

SFW!

Suì-Fēng is interesting one since she is not the tallest one (as tall as 150 cm (4'11")) definitely so she is leaning more into taller or at least average sized ones. However i don’t think she minds someone around her height, they can get each other struggles and solve then like you climbing on her shoulders to get a food from a high cabinet in a kitchen or gets in a tiny space together comfortably, yeah i think she is content with it!

Rōjūrō Ōtoribashi would like to have someone dandy on his side, dressing you up in fancy clothes and accessories. Having you as his dress up doll at home~ (sorry this is dry, i don’t like his characters that much lol)

Retsu (Yachiru) Unohana isn’t that tall either being 159 cm (5'2½") tall but her terrifying aura so there is no one pick on you and definitely not her in entire Seireitei so that’s nice <3 However i see her personal preference is someone taller but she also doesn’t mind having “a puppy” following her in free time ;)

Shinji Hirako, this little shit of a man would tease you till a day you die, picking on you as you are just trying to do your job or just passing by, he would put just get your paperwork and lift it that his lanky ass could reach and stuck his tongue out at you, eventually giving in and giving it back with a playful grin and a kiss on a side of your cheek as a apology, saying he won’t tease you again and then teasing you AGAIN not even an hour later 🤦‍♀️

Byakuya Kuchiki would honestly prefer someone who is tiny imo, that has already been proven right since he was with Hisana who is most likely same size as Rukia so there is no doubt. As a head of a clan he likes the feeling that his dearest could rely on him in anything, call it whatever you want but it brings him a sense of something he lost once and he is not planning to lose it again.

Sajin Komamura is TALLEST one 288 cm (9'5½") so as i said he would be probably more found of someone taller or average sized…however! that’s doesn’t mean he wouldn’t enjoy having you around, in both of his forms he would carry you bridal style at late night hours or when Seireitei is empty so you two could have your time without having a fear of being judged or made fun of because of your appearances.

Shunsui Kyōraku, this man hoe likes every woman. He is a proud women lover. He loves any shape, size and complexion in women, he would absolutely adore having you close to him anywhere, especially in his bed late at night as he brushes your wedding rings together :)

Kensei Muguruma is on a more neutral side since i can see him wanting a tall and strong s/o he can fight and train with, but something in me is telling me that he’s a traditional man, he likes to be needed and wanted, be able to stood out in front of you proud, strong and straight to protect you.

Tōshirō Hitsugaya would finally be relieved that there is another person that is small, he’s so mf tiny that you are just maybe slightly taller than him anyway, in his true bankai form he’s around Byakuya’s height so he just might indulge himself into telling you a slight teasing comment, yeah i think he would like someone tiny to match him-

Kenpachi Zaraki would have a smaller s/o without a need for you to be smaller than an average woman in height, he’s like tall-tall, strong and intimidating compared with every race anyway. However i do have a feeling that he would like to have someone so dandy and small like Yachiru since she is a practically a part of his soul so he is found of tiny and cute things. Since his little Yachiru left ( :( ) you had become one who would sit on his shoulder as you two have to go anywhere, imo he probably wishes that one day if you two had a little kid together that it would be little girl who is his eyes is a little Yachiru who you two take care of, but this one have a little eyes just like yours and he likes that very much <3

Mayuri Kurotsuchi, this is weird one because i can see him not really having a type? He barely likes anyone, yet your tiny ass got underneath his skin and now you are here for him. Following him as you two raise Nemuri together, you 3 now looking like a real family!

Jūshirō Ukitake :( gosh i love him so much, anyway he is so nice with you, since you both are physically not very strong, it would make it easy but he fears he couldn’t protect you in time because of his fragile body :( yeah, can definitely see him with tiny s/o <3

NSFW!

Suì-Fēng - i think she loves classic scissoring as you two play w each other’s clits, can’t go well with that one and also, just sit on her face when she’s angry and don’t you dare to put only 10 percents of your body weight on her, fucking sit on it like a chair and let her spend her big mouth on a good job between your legs~

Rōjūrō Ōtoribashi - into Dacryphilia, absolutely loves when you get all pretty and dolled up especially in tiny dress, Pretzel Dip or missionary as you cry from overstimulation, looking so ruined and perfect just for him <3

Retsu (Yachiru) Unohana - man, if you haven’t died when she showed a 8 inch strap up your vagina and fucked you like she hate your guts you are good 👍 anyway, she fucking loves when you ride her or when she puts you in a mating press, absolutely filthy as she splits in your mouth you just because. ( she had a secret breeding kink but shush 🤫 don’t say you heard it from me, also i got some trans!Unohana thoughs, anyone interested in hearing it? comment down please!)

Shinji Hirako - he’s such a meanie in bed too ☹️, i mean he would literally yank you back by your ankle and continue giving you head with his pierced tongue, gosh the overstimulation is crazyyyy with him. Absolutely loves snuggling after it and his hand sliding on your side gently as it went to tease your kitty cat AGAIN-

Byakuya Kuchiki - he must be in love w you if he brings you to his bed so missionary or any position where he can see your face and kiss it is a must, he makes love with you and genuinely only fuckes you if he is jealous or mad, probably have a savior kinks/hints of it sometimes + soft kisses down your back as he praises you after 🥹

Sajin Komamura - (human version) when you two have sex he can’t help but to have a need to make you his because of wolf genetics in him so pretzel dip or prone bone are his favorite positions to make your tiny mind mindless as he might just cums inside if you especially in spring 🤭

Shunsui Kyōraku - loves cowgirl/any version of it so he doesn’t have to do too much at least at the start, see you bouncing on top of his cook as it’s tip bullies your cervix is a fever dream, pressing against your lower back or tummy just for your pussy get a death grip on his dick, isn’t fully interested in pulling out so pregnancy is inevitable sooner or later my dear 🫡

Kensei Muguruma - he is a simple man so he goes doggy or full nelson, fucks to fucks and myb slightly into bondage?? absolutely makes you squirt by fingering you, hate sex??? he absolutely demolish your poor pussy if you flirt w Shinji or Rose, he will kiss your forehead after it tho <3

Tōshirō Hitsugaya - (grown up version) doesn’t have that high of a sex drive but he adores you so he indulge into your horny cravings of him, loves spooning or Scissoring (just mlw) so he can kiss your shoulders or forehead as he for sure makes you cum couple of times at end of the night, secretly loves cookwarming but shushhh 🫢

Kenpachi Zaraki - actually fuckes you in every position possible and everywhere you can imagine, loves stand and deliver (The Bicycle position) as he is chocking you while pounding into your tight kitty, your bodies only stability is his arm that you are gripping for dear life and yes, he isn’t pulling out since he say so <3

Mayuri Kurotsuchi - doesn’t have that high of sex drive but he would absolutely make you deepthroath his length if you are bratty enough, probably some doctor/patient roleplay, people of Seireitei are scared to see his genuine smile if they see a little girl with both of your features??

Jūshirō Ukitake - my sweet man can only had cow girl/variations + missionary sex position with you so he doesn’t finish too soon, absolutely PERFECT with his fingers and has a praise kink so absolutely praise the living shit out of him as you make love underneath the moonlight all night long so he can be happy <333

[metaknightsptsd]

local learns how to write an intro post

hey hey hai! u can call me adam/addie

i'm a digital artist and fanfiction author! as you probably have already assumed by my username, i'm also a huge kirby nerd. one might even say.....a meta knight stan. i love talking about meta knight please talk to me about meta knight

a few deets about me

i'm 15 going on 16 as of writing this!

my pronouns are she/her

i sometimes post other fandoms as well! (cookie run, skylanders, sonic the hedgehog, mario etc.)

i am a person of color!

autism

my personality type is enfp!

my typing style is very odd sorry bout that fellas

very anxious so i do apologize if i take a bit to get back 2 u

links to other socials

me twittterrrrrrr

me ao3 (i haven't written anythig in a long time IM SORRYY)

MEtube

:3

dart

[anonil88]

Malcolm and Marie live blog

I don't usually do liveblogs for movies but yea.

Spoilers ahead!!

I love that its modern timed but very 70s stylized.

A tune indeed.

When you are high and drunk on success and

How the white critic reacts is why I feel like gatekeeping my scripts. At the same time some things I do make are about race or involve.

Marie sitting on the patio smoking is a mood whenever men are talking.

So he's pretentious and unaware.

Whoever chose the music for this, I feel like we would be Spotify mutuals.

Can this nigga stop pacing.

Also can he stop talking;

Marie is so tired and unimpressed.

Also little booties matter and are to be bitten.

Oooo the tension and the jazz.

Title Card over mac and cheese.

Shitty boxes mac and cheese but still mac and cheese.

Tbh i always wonder if spouses/significant others get upset when their spouses don't acknowledge them during speeches.

John sounds so much like his dad but I really hope his acting style differs from his dad a lot.

Guilty confession?

He did not profit off of his partners backstory and then not even acknowledge her.....I.....

If that ever happened to me catch me cussing my partner out during the beginning credits, the end credits, in the car, and at home.

GASLIGHTER!

The way I'm excited for Zendaya to give me some, oooo can she work with Regina King. Please on my knees I pray.

Um no that's not your job to coddle your lead.

He's a dick and the type of dick who makes himself look like a good person around other people.

If Sam Levinson is trying to make his viewers more of misandrist, it's working.

I feel like Marie has her flaws probably a lot of them and we will surely see as this continues, but Malcolm needs to learn how to apologize sincerely.

70s vibes! 70s vibes!

Them kissing and talking about criticism and dreams makes me miss a partner. A partner that I've had and haven't had.

Women really are behind every great man.

Yea sir you fucked a happy moment.

Oh visual allegories for looking in from the outside and cat and mouse chasing and looking from the outside in.

She's saying she doesn't feel noticed by you.

Gas lighter :0 he called her an emotional support dog, bruh.

I would LOVE to co-write or take a writing class held by Sam Levinson. The fights i write are very much in this same realm of reflection and anger and monologue.

Sam.....sam.....are all the sides inside of you doing okay sir?

The ugly side of dating and being in a relationship with someone who struggles with their own demons.

Honestly I could close my eyes and listen to this script being read without seeing these characters visually. Just close my eyes and get a sense of these characters like it was a radio story.

Oh. Oh this is a new wheelhouse of Zendaya acting; a different voice is like breaking through here and her expressions aren't the same we are used to. You can literally hear another character in there....hmm.

Mans is outside really fighting with his invisible demons lmfao.

Selfish ass, how after everything she said you came out of it thinking about your own craft and self instead of how you hurt her.

So she's conditional.

Me: did sam (a white man) say nigga this many times in his script or are the actors adding their own inflections. Not just the lingo used but the topic of race and directing etc. being written by a white writer about black characters is always gonna be a critique when you're writer is a white person.

Alexa play Broken Girls by Saba

He is so hurtful.

A clown nigga a clown look in the fucking mirror you bozo head ass looking like you need some Mehron clown white and a size 16 in clown shoes.

John is doing a really swell performance and reading of these lines.

He is reading her for her insecurities by bringing up his experiences with other women and that.....is yikes.

Arguments can get messy like this in real life but it takes a lot of maturity and control to either not let it get to this point or have a healthy conversation afterwards.

This film is really shot on some very crisp lenses.

They sitting there like 🚬🧍‍♀️🧍‍♂️.

Leftover Mac and Cheese and unfinished cigarettes.

The nyt etc. pay walls are so annoying, but there is a work around look at the articles on incognito or add a period at the end of the url.

He sounds like his daddy so much here, weird, this is the only part I'm eh on the dialogue it feels real but a bit out of pace in how they are bouncing off one another.

Nail scissors? So the end is not the only part he based off of Marie. 🙄

ITS A GOOD REVIEW YOU DINGUS but also its a full review they are going to critique things. She isn't wrong though he did profit off of a woman's story that was not his own to profit from.

Yes Malcolm because unfortunately all marginalized people look through a lens of life that is inherently political because of the world they live in.

He is so mad and upset and had a lot on his chest. But I think he Malcolm and Sam are talking about something thats an issue and a non issue. Being critiqued for you art is hard but also Malcolm is not super self aware. He's like a stand in figure of for example rich depop sellers who wanna be oppressed so badly they yell at others instead of examining their own personal behaviors and ethics.

Oh Marie, when you know the spark is gone and you pick fights because.

He ain't even ask her to read?

One critic I have for most of hollywood actors is they learn their cry and that is it. A change from this is Margot Robbie, I adore her fluctuations of crying being similar but the crying is carried differently for each character. If I had to say any actor that does a cry scene amazing its this woman right here (Amy Adams)

You stole her story from her and gave it away, she has a right to be upset and angry and a rubber band ball of emotions.

Citizen Kane, not the cinematography, but the story is it even that good? (Unpopular opinion but meh, maybe in my rewatch it will be better.)

But that is what people want authenticity and whatever authenticity means to them. What is real for one is false for another.

To be honest look at the criticism of Euphoria, well earned, but a lot of people were like this isn't real even though he literally wrote about his own life. People said it was inauthentic like....wtf.

Ahh the smoking is just a habit, he quit and she didn't.

CAST ZENDAYA IN A HORROR MOVIE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING. Get Lupita and Zendaya and some more black actors preferably less known ones in a horror movie. One with a interesting script and story, directed by Regina King. Please and thankyou.

I love Marie yep that was amazing.

Behind every great man is a greater woman, one that deserves her credit for how she has stood behind. I wonder the stories of those women, what they have sacrificed or not sacrificed. Their thoughts and feelings when the world is surrounding their partner and views them as a plus one. (I'd write a short script about this but I think do I have the time, can I, or am I equipped ?)

He is a shitty person for bringing up his exes, like she even said I don't wanna know any of that.

Imagine being on anti depressents and rarely having a sex drive and then when you do your partner starts talking about their exes and tearing you apart for all your faults.

I love when you see peaks of Zendaya's cadence in roles.

Tension, what if's and he didn't even bring her up in his speech.

Marie to herself and the audience:

He is not afraid that he will loose her but as my character says in my unreleased story, "i can't wait til you give me a fucking reason to leave your ass." Malcolm expects everything in order for not even doing the bare minimum and she is only asking him for something as simple as consideration. She just wants him to be considerate. He wants to get married and considers their relationship like rolling down a hill at full speed and he cannot apologize, he cannot be considerate, and he cannot admit his wrongs. He can only offer her I love yous that he probably does mean but he does not back up outside of what he's done for her in the past. The past which was more of her experience than his and he sees his part in it as a burden. He doesn't use his own vantage point of the past to further his career he uses her. He does all of these things without a real apology or thankyou because he is not afraid to loose her.

The restrictions of quarantine and the panorama have made Sam's writing very no frills. I wonder how other films from other directors and writers that are filmed in small contained crews like this will be structured. But this was a very good movie gonna add to my letter box 3.3-3.5

Oh shit this is my song,

Ratings/overall thoughts:

Script is like a C+, B- : I could go into my heavier big brain thoughts on the script but I don't feel like it. You catch hints of it above it centers conversation on race and privilege, mainly the writers and questions i have that won't be answered but Sam did make me grow disdain for Malcolm over a short time. Which is sometimes hard to do because im one sympathetic person but the sympathy i have for Malcolm is at 0. Maybe a 2 at some scenes but then it quickly goes back to 0. Some parts of the dialogue miss the mark or hit the are off balanced. While some of it like Malcolm's bathroom speech albeit mean is really strong or their conversation when he comes back from peeing really shines for me.

Performances: B+ to A- because they carried the script further than it could of gone with less talented actors. The monologues do well to showcase their current skill levels which are already high af and leave room for anticipation in where these actors go next.

Zendaya holding a knife: A+ with a gold star. That switch on and off and on is delectable.

John being a shitty boyfriend but following Marie like a lost puppy: B+ with a good job written at the bottom of the paper, Malcolm being nervous a frantic dialed up with more realistic nervousness would have sold me completely on Malcolm's anxious waiting.

Cinematography: A and a participation award.

The mac and cheese: A+ for the easy mac. Wish it was like Annie's or Velveeta.

Cigarettes: Participation award and their picture hung up for student of the month. Why the grill lighter? Everytime Malcolm opened up his mouth Marie was like sparks fly.

The music: A++ with a prize. Whoever picked the music probably makes good Spotify playlists.

[escxpiism]

( olivia holt, 23, she/her ) * hey, i’m looking for the office of ALICE ADAMS. they’re the EMPLOYEE who’s known around the office as THE MASK if that helps ? not to be a gossip, but i’ve heard that they’re ADAPTABLE but JADED, is that true ? i also heard that they’re the one who CATFISHED DAVID HASSELHOFF. anyways, here’s the coffee they ordered.

hi y’all !! i’m may ( 21 // est // she/her ) and i am super super pumped to be here !! i’m also very much writing this against my better judgment ya girl’s running on four hours of sleep and has the option to sleep more but......... is not tired ?? so i do apologize if my mind is secretly tired and makes this intro,,,, even worse than it would be fahouedn. on with the show !! anyway anyway!! feel free to like this if u wld like 2 plot and i will hit u up!!

( also, for some vibes if you so choose to read, here’s the link to her playlist ! )

----------------------------------------------------

QUICK FACTS:

full name: alice audrey adams

date of birth: october 26th, 1997

*will not perfectly reflect the zodiac big three below because that’s.... math.

zodiac big three: scorpio sun, virgo moon, taurus rising

gender & pronouns: cis woman & she/her

sexual orientation: bisexual

education: ged, bachelor’s degree in film — pratt institute

enneagram: 4w3

mbti: enfp

temperament: sanguine-melancholic

label: the mask

various inspirations: “nutshell” - alice in chains, “santa monica” - everclear, “polly” - nirvana, “jennifer’s body” - hole, “creep” - stone temple pilots, kate wallis ( cruel summer - shhhh ), heather davis ( crazy ex-girlfriend ), satana hellstrom ( marvel comics ), bojack horseman - without the amount of problematic ego ( bojack horseman ), eddie huang ( fresh off the boat ), the great britney spears evolution ( temporarily stopping at circus era )

BACKSTORY:

triggers in order: toxic family dynamic, grooming (nothing super in-depth), kidnapping (? like it was ‘willing’ but no. see next trigger for why), toxic “relationship” (and 11yr age gap w/ a 16y/o we hate it), straight-up captivity, very brief mention of suicide + heroin (very!)

*would like to quickly preface that this isn’t just Dark for the sake of being r/im14andthisisdeep but that’s for a later time **(also! i have markers for where the grooming + Super Dark parts begin and end! -- also, the Super Dark part is all very public knowledge. had articles. media frenzy. first thing that comes up if you google her name) *** also. if u need it then a tl;dr is below this section hfkldsa

alice audrey adams was born to the type of family that names all of their children alliterative names ( however, they sadly didn’t get their own kardashian-style show )... alexis adams (working name, utp if taken as a wc)... alfie allison adams (working name, utp if taken as a wc)... born to anna adams and allen adams... we hate it here.

as u can see... all of the kids were basically named after allen... they all had ‘al’ names.... extremely confusing 

plot-twist: THAT’S the darkest part

the adams were very concerned with public image. as a family in the upper echelon, they simply had to be! a narcissist father, a distant mother, put in competition with her siblings — there was no truly healthy dynamic in the household. but they looked good. they went to church every sunday, a ‘wwjd’ sticker on the back of her mother’s car. they did just enough activities and took just enough trips together to get the image across. they threw parties. they attended parties. they were the picture perfect american family — they even had two cats in the yard! life used to be so hard! 

of course, in reality, this all left ms alice quite the lonely gal. but don’t worry! she didn’t turn to hedonism! lord no! instead, she turned to other people. a lot of friendships — couldn’t tell if they were real or #fortheclout — but at a point, did it matter? 

grooming tw: it all came to a screeching halt when she met luke johnson, the son of their neighbors. he came back from california to georgia to visit family, care for his ailing father. oh, he was a good man! sure, he was ‘somewhat’ older than her — 27 when she was 16 — but he was such a good, handsome young man! and they were all still calling him young man, after all. 

alice ‘began’ a torrid affair with luke after about a month into his visit. although she saw no immediate wrong in it, he insisted she keep it a secret ‘for the time being’ — which really just made it all the more exciting! he made all the storm clouds that hovered disappear.

one day, the levee broke for alice (still figuring out what exactly happened because i don’t wanna go too dark since this is already extremely dark, but trust that it had something to do with her parents and was just enough to push her over the edge). convinced luke was the only safe person, she turned to him. knowing their small community would catch on and essentially exile him, he took that opportunity to convince her to go back to santa monica with him where they could ‘start anew’ after his father’s death.

there are a few details i plan on adding regarding like. how legality playing into it. but i may just reserve those for an official bio lhakfsdfj

**BEGINNING OF SUPER DARK** for a while, there was the question of whether they should consider it a kidnapping or not. she went with him willingly, but she was still underage (and… you know, that age difference… the power dynamic... gross y’all). the adams insisted that it was (bc it basically was lbr) — primarily because it would make them look far better — but the community still questioned the logistics and legalities of it all… ugh. did the police really wanna deal with that? ugh. 

in any case, on the other side of us america, autumn was nearing. alice would have the very occasional inquiry over how school would work (very occasional! don’t worry, luke!), over the logistics of her new life… and, after receiving multiple calls from various friends (in addition to her siblings) that sounded genuine, began wondering… if she’d made the right choice. questions about him.

when she began bringing up the idea of going back — at least for the school year!! — he would continuously remind her that she was not old enough to buy herself a plane ticket (and he was not about to do that). she also couldn’t rent a car yet (and he certainly wouldn’t let her take (one of) his car(s)!). but most importantly? he loved her. and she loved him. (what a creep!)

so, for a hot second, it seemed like she was stuck. damn legalities!! damn love!! you know, until she texted her older sister back with all of the problems that only being 16... and “in love”.... caused. her sister offered to fly down, buy her a plane ticket, and fly back with her. 

when luke saw this (with all the unrestricted access to her phone he had so he could block, delete, and manipulate as he pleased), he confronted her. things went awry. she wound up in his budding wine cellar (which he soon emptied, of course… those merlots :( ….). he messaged back and, as her, said it was actually all good!! luke had figured out the logistics and she could call whenever she wanted!!

and those calls became frequent! because she would pick up when luke held it up to her! because she was pretty sure luke would kill her if she didn’t!

she wasn’t sure how long it was until she was officially Found. it took what was ruled a suicide by luke, a shot to the head and heroin in his system, to finally get any authority’s attention. all she knew was that she went to santa monica in mid june and she stopped seeing regular daylight by late july. so some time in august to some time in april… **END OF SUPER DARK + GROOMING**

she was returned to georgia shortly after and everything was different. from herself to her friends. but everything was also the same. from her room to her family. it was all… teasing. she began going to therapy, but she really sucked at it?? so she just let her therapist rely on various articles that covered the event. because it had been a media circus. good enough, amirite?? 

she didn’t have the will or patience to put on that peppy facade she’d had before, but there were still a few things she found a smidge of joy in. music (although her taste had… slightly altered and wow! it’d been almost a year since she’d picked up that bass!), videography… just those small things, you know?? 

for the first half of the ~ 2014 fall semester ~, she attempted actual school. really was not working out. with, for probably the first and only time, her parents’ approval and understanding, she dropped out and studied for a ged -- shorter and self-led -- instead. 

she passed with a pretty decent grade... but it’s been argued that she really shouldn’t have gotten into pratt institute (she was at least realistic and didn’t apply to, like… cornell), but she did. national news helps. 

while in the concrete jungle where dreams are made of, she learned of masters. she submitted an application as a joke — because her grades sucked!!!!! — but guess who got a job?? oh, she could pretend it was because her selected portfolio was actually genuinely good… but, man… we all know…

fun fact: my uncle applied to harvard as a joke. some twenty-five years later, we still haven’t heard back :\

she… continues to suck. like… she kinda wants the place to eventually burn down?? figuratively speaking (or is it…) but ya, for all the monopolizing she has seen turn people Evil?? but the hell can she do about it… just gotta make sure she keeps her in-house videographer job… maybe she can do something about it when she like… is capable. fuaihoelwdjkn

she sees an in-house therapist and i’d say ‘good for her,’ but it was mandated l m a o 

doesn’t talk about herself all that much!! but that might not matter for some people, yk?? ugh journalism <3 

y’all im so bad at ending intros.

TL;DR:

(consult above trigger list): bright kid in a super rich and toxic family because obviously. everything they did was just to look good <3 also they all had ‘a’ names which is the biggest tragedy of all :( ‘fell in love’ when she was 16ys/o with a 27y/o who was visiting to care for his father in his final days. had a torrid affair. creep. creep (luke) basically made her ‘fall in love.’ she thought creep was the only safe person at one point and creep was like ‘wanna go back 2 santa monica w me?’ and she was like ‘yes.’ and everyone was like ‘was this kidnapping... we cant tell....’ then he became even more possessive when she started questioning him and some logistics. when she finally found a way she could go back to georgia for a spell, he was like ‘no u can go in my wine cellar btw i will be taking all of the wine out.’ he kept her there from august to april and... only reason he didnt keep keeping her was bc he was Caught so. back to georgia where the devil went down. everything was Worse. even the things that were the same. but hey, the sob story that landed her in the news plenty of times got her into a college she shouldn’t have gotten into and gave her a leg-up in a joke application for a job at masters (in-house videographer). really bad at doing her work but like... fuck the man i guess?? 

PERSONALITY + HEADCANONS:

has no time for Fake Nice (which, as a born southerner, she’s really good at sniffing out!). has no time for arrogance. kind of makes her at odds with the nyc upper class...

on that note, still got a lil bit of some georgia twang

she lets herself indulge in various vices, but has left a previous hedonist status. weed and alcohol are still pretty common, but everything else is kept at arm’s length.

also, while on that topic, she Does Not drink wine. being trapped in a cellar... kinda makes u averse. like. literally despises it. will go on autopilot and make it KNOWN if offered wine.

also ALSO while on that topic, after looking it up and seeing she fits the new york city requirements, she has a medical marijuana card <3 the one good thing, if u ask her, to come out of therapy/psychiatry <3 will not show it off unless absolutely NECESSARY bc then it gets personal or <3 will lie about why and say it’s like for epilepsy or sumn unless ur rolfe but <3 she has it <3

at odds with herself. enjoys the company of others, definitely has a history of being an extrovert, but has become very selective with the company she keeps. 

VERY private person! has had enough public standing! 

...has occasionally used her story to advance her tho bc it’s her national newsworthy tragic story and she can exploit it if she wants <3

when good charlotte said “i don’t wanna be in love”?? she felt that. her last ‘relationship’ ruined that for her <3 save her <3 

used to be really into pop! bc pop is fun! she loved some britney (i mean... she still does... how can u not!)! but. her taste has changed drastically. rarely listens to pop. has traded britney for like.... hole and the like.

her parents didn’t use this as the basis for her name but,, 2 me,,, she’s named alice for a reason <3 gotta luv alice in chains <3

y’all i found a youtube comment on a video called ‘nirvana - half the man i used to be’ (the song was, in fact, ‘creep’ by stone temple pilots) and it’s <3 her music taste <3 click here for it <3

the above said, dresses like she’s in seattle in the early 90s. 

her rumor is true btw she DID catfish david hasselhoff and she will proudly tell u. it’s her best accomplishment.

completely stopped talking to her parents and got cut-off a while back ago so now she’s livin like the Prols

which is how a rich kid one of my profs once advised referred to his classmates.... hilarity ensues.

the above in mind, her parents say she’s testing the waters as a ‘normal person’ to save face. they can’t have anyone knowing their family isn’t perfect <3

she has a pet turtle whom she named “dr. turtle,” although he’s constantly referred to as “doc” or “the doc.” he has his own youtube channel and tiktok account.

she has a wall full of evidence that courtney love did not kill kurt cobain... it makes sense, believe me.

became a vegetarian...... partially because it was different from her original life and a way to control something, partially because this commercial made her feel SO BAD.

literally her default mode is stoned like... a totally sober alice is rarer than a nessie sighting

when she was 18, before she could ‘hold her liquor’ as well as she can now, she got a lil too drunk and now has a portrait tattoo of courtney love on her forearm. but it was done well at least!!

kind of ironic considering her career, but RARELY posts on any social media site except twitter. after the media circus in 2014 and All Eyes On Her, she’s just..... so tired...... of ppl seeing her face and being like ‘omg ur that wine cellar bitch!’

(drugs tw) has become more and more Addicted to playing around with fate. j chill on a ledge, talkin to some pals, but deciding it’s a good idea to swing her legs on the wrong side of ledge? totally! mixing a lot of alcohol with opioids which she is not accustomed to? DEF!! (end tw)

more to come!!

CONNECTION IDEAS:

i have two (2) queued up!! but while we wait for them to post, i’ll just… link them over here: 1, 2

muse u <3 the other half of her subplot from the main <3

her older sister!

her younger sibling!

some of the basics!! you know: close pal, roommate, drug buddies (but she gotta hit them up), fwb, ons, frenemies, enemy

ppl who recognize her from the 2014 luke johnson articles and have either brought it up or,,,,,,, act Awkward™

cld be fun 2 just have like. a jam bud. someone who plays any instrument and they j. jam sometimes.

ppl she sells. some of her medical marijuana to. bc yk what weed may be legal in nyc now but,,,, she’s still found a way to be broke she will accept anything. and also it just became legalized THIS YEAR so!!

i have a budding wc page @ https://escxpiism.tumblr.com/wcs (and when i say budding, i MEAN budding) so feel free 2 check it out!!

more to come!!

[shihozaki]

Hey so I saw that your matchup requests were open and I wanted to request one for mha :)

About me: My name is Fairy (it's a kind of weird birth name but I've learned to ✨ c o - e x i s t ✨ with it) and im 16 years old! Im non-binary and I use she/they pronouns! My mbti personality is ENFP-T and my Hogwarts house is Gryffindor :). Im also an ambivert. Im an Aries sun, Aquarius moon and Leo rising! For the description of my style umm it's kind of a weird mix between a soft girl and a grunge style?? umm it's a bit confusing but I like to mix up things bc I think it's a bit fun? LMAO. For physical appearance umm im abt 5'7 or 5'8, and im a bit curvy, tho I'm usually insecure abt it and im scared of like just sitting on someone's laps and squishing them idk- I have brown hair and eyes, and I use glasses bc im fucking blind LMAO. For personality, I would say that when people first meet me they get the impression that im either A. Rude and mean or B. Im a sweet and nice angel who wouldn't hurt a fly. Tho when people actually get to meet me they realize that im really nice and cheerful. I'm also really chaotic (Oops- my bad). But sometimes I scare ppl away with my sarcasm or crude/dark humor. People also tend to not really like me bc im kind of good at reading people and their personalities which might come off as creepy (I mean it's not as if I liked knowing what type of personality they have just by meeting them for 2 days. People just tend to think that bc im able to read people's emotions and actions really well, they think I'll use it for my advantage by manipulating them??? Ummm?? I literally don't approve of doing things like that but ok?). Some of my hobbies are reading, writing poetry, listening to music, watching anime, doing arts-and-crafts, playing videogames, rollerskating, burning my homework, scaring children, having existential crises, drinking orange juice while singing to the titanic flute song and talking to the demon under my at 3 AM. (Umm ik its gonna sound kinda dumb but I also really like learning new languages, I speak Spanish, English, Portuguese, Russian and German. Rn I'm trying to learn how to speak french. And umm sometimes I have the habit of like saying words from another language while talking to someone. Like if I'm talking to someone in Spanish I will all of a sudden start speaking German. It's kind of an annoying thing for some, but it's a habit I've had since I was like 5 years old-)

MHA universe: I think that I would have a quirk where I can have the ability to manipulate matter or like a quirk where you can manipulate time?? Idk if it's possible for me to request having more than 2 quirks i umm-

What I look for in a s/o: Im Bisexual with a slight preference for guys- ummm idk what I would look for an s/o, but I think I would like someone who is straightforward, (basically kind of blunt) chill and laid-back while at the same time being nice and sarcastic?? Idk but basically someone who is able to balance out my dumbass chaotic energy with a calm and chill energy. (Also maybe a s/o who is smart. I usually have debates with people I like and I just- omg ok in my opinion smart people are hot-)

ANYHOW, I hope this isn't to much trouble for you! Feel free to ignore! Anyways thanks and have a nice day!

Thank you so much for waiting so patiently, I apologize for the wait! I had a hard time finding the perfect match for you, so I hope you like it!

I pair you up with Tsuyu Asui!

- Your quirk is matter manipulation! You can manipulate any matter based on time- kind of like Eri’s quirk. For example, if there was an apple, you can turn it to the past which would turn the Apple into a seed. If you turned it to the future, it would become a tree. You can control the amount of “time” you turn the matter into, and you can always bring it back into the original shape. Quick judgment is key to this quirk.

- You met Tsuyu in U.A! You were so excited to be in 1-A with other potential heroes, and it turns out you were sitting beside a very cute girl who resembled a frog

- You guys quickly became friends, hanging out often after school and decorating each other’s dorms together

- She is very smart, and helps you with your work. She placed 6th place in mid terms and she’s always willing to give you a helping hand!

- Tsuyu’s “no bs” personality helps tone down your dramatic and impulsive personality, while your passionate soul lights a spark in Tsuyu’s life.

- She is often very blunt and complimented you a lot, making you confused whether she sees you as a friend or as something more than that. So one day you just asked her out and she quickly (too quickly) agreed, and you guys became girlfriends after that!

- She can be sometimes a bit insecure, so you’re her personal cheerleader! She loved and appreciates you so much, and she tells you on a daily basis like it’s nothing

- You guys can literally talk to each other 24/7, and would never run out of things to talk about. The two different personality will often come up with new ideas every day

- She’s usually not very shy and is not the one to get embarrassed easily, but a simple hug or a kiss would be enough for her to be flustered. She immediately flushes red and smiles.

- She’s sometimes not very good with words, so instead she’ll show you love by physical touch- especially when she’s cold. Snuggling up to you is one of her favourite things to do during winter!

- Overall, you guys are such a cute couple, bringing inspiration and a force of energy to the people around you :)

Scenario: First time meeting!

‘That sleeping bag is our teacher?’ You thought as the yellow sleeping bag at the front of the class started his teaching. ‘This is going to be an interesting year…’ You chuckled to yourself. You took a look around the classroom. 1-A. You were finally on the path of becoming a hero. Majority of the kids in the class seemed nice (minus the spikey blonde boy) and calm. As you were exploring the room with your eyes, it met with another. She had long green hair and an interesting mouth- she was adorable. She stared back with an amused expression, occasionally blinking. ‘She’s really cute.’ You thought. ‘No, I have to pay attention in class. My bi-ness cannot be tingling right now.’ You turned your attention back to the board, wondering when the sleeping bag was going to stop talking. The teacher instructed the students to change into their training uniform and meet him at the field. As the students began to walk into the change rooms, you quickly caught up to the peculiar girl. “Hey! You can call me Fairy! Nice to meet you.” You introduced yourself. The girl smiled, extending her hand. “I’m Tsuyu Asui. You can call me Tsu.” She replied. “I like your glasses.” Your heart started beating faster at the compliment and you shook her hand. “Thanks! I have them because I’m blind.” You said, attempting to make a joke. She gave a small giggle, one enough to make your heart melt. ‘Yes, this is going to be an interesting year...’ You thought to yourself as you followed your new friend Tsu into the change room. ‘Who knows? I might finally get a girlfriend.’

Song: Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen!

I hope you enjoyed it! I enjoyed writing it, and I really liked your name too! Please do not hesitate to tell me what you thought about the work, and I hope to see you again soon :)

[kodzukenscorner]

I’m a INFJ, Scorpio and a straight female. Im a Hufflepuff and my enneagram type is 1. I’m 5’6 and I have light brown/blonde hair with blue eyes. I have a dimple on my right cheek and my body type is hours glass (but I have stomach fat and thick thighs too). My style is very casual, I barely wear dresses and makeup. I’m laid back, patient, and loyal but also sarcastic and stubborn at times. I’m like the mom of my friend group as I would do anything for those I care about. ~ 1 🍉

I like baking, eating, writing, listening to music and hanging out with friends (I love play card/board games). I also used to play volleyball and it was my favorite sport. I often set unrealistic expectations for myself and I get upset if I don’t meet them. I am a very busy individual. My personal motto is “blessed to be stressed.” In a relationship, I’m very caring. Sometimes though it comes off as overbearing, but I just wants what’s best for my s/o. ~2 🍉 I constantly encourage them to chase after their goals. I’m not too into PDA, but I love cuddles and hugs. I’m very independent in a relationship, I don’t have to be with my s/o 24/7, however I do get touchy feely if I don’t see them in awhile. Communication and honesty is two things that I value in a relationship. My favorite type of date is a brunch date with coffee. Thank you so much!! ~ 3 🍉 I apologize if that’s too much information.

Your match is...

Iwaizumi Hajime

Iwa is equally as stubborn as you are, but you definitely beat him when it comes to sarcasm

He’s had his experience having to be the mom friend of the group so he can relate with you there and he loves that you care about your friends so deeply

He doesn’t admit it but he’s always looking out for his friends as well

He knows you can get busy and can’t always be around 24/7 but he doesn’t mind at all

He’s very secure in his relationship and knows you care about him but have your own life and goals as well

Likes it when you push him harder, he doesn’t find it overbearing at all

It helps keep him motivated

He used to do that to people as well so he’s very happy to have someone doing it to him

He’s awkward when it comes to PDA but he does like having you close to him when you’re in private

Tries to act cool but he’s a low-key cuddle bug

Runnerup:

Miya Atsumu

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 28

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.3k. -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- you can send me questions and theories and comments. tbh they all make me SO SO SO SOOOO HAPPY! and make me want to write more! you can also tell me if there are things you WANT to happen. you never know, i may add it :P

- thanks for being patient btw! i work a lot these days and will work even more in the next few weeks (until halloween) so i may not update as often as i’d like. :(

- note for this chapter: please forgive me

-please, message me, give me feedbacks, it would mean sooo much to me!

Chapter 28 : His chapter

NIALL

I was happy to have found my best friend back. It seemed like everything was back to normal, or almost. I split my time between Liv and Maya and I was trying to satisfy both, although Maya demanded more attention than I would have thought at the beginning. We had our occasional disputes, I couldn't lie, and most of them were about my best friend, but I was trying not to think about it and I never mentioned it to Olivia.

"Niall? Are you listening to me?"

"Mm?"

I looked up from my phone to look at my girlfriend. She looked pissed and glanced at the plate in front of me. Most of the time, she preferred to eat out and it sort of bothered me but if it saved us from an argument, I was in.

"You barely ate anything." she pointed out, raising her eyebrows.

I looked at her plate and then back up in her eyes.

"Your plate is pretty full too." I argued, moving my chin a bit as my eyes found my phone again.

I wanted to mention that she barely ate at all but I kept my mouth shut because I knew it was a touchy subject for her. Still, I worried about her and I was surprised she insisted on going out to eat since she barely did in the end. Perhaps it was only to make people believe she ate and not get any question. I felt my phone vibrate and looked down at it, quickly typing an answer to the message I just got. The conversation about food seemed to be over but when I heard her voice again, my heart jumped slightly.

"What's so interesting on your phone, Niall? Can't we just eat together and talk?"

I sighed, maybe a bit too loud, and put my phone back in my pocket, feeling it vibrate again immediately but trying to ignore it.

"Okay, what do you want to talk about?"

Her face changed and she looked down, making me believe that the conversation we were about to have was not a fun one. I breathed in deeply but subtly, trying to remain calm no matter what she'd say but knowing it wouldn't be easy.

Maya was more and more jealous as time went by. It had been a few weeks since Harry and Olivia broke up and since then, she had become a bit possessive and got mad almost every time i'd hang out with my best friend. She'd text me a few times an hour, ask many questions about what we did and said. and one time, she even showed up at Liv's, pretending she was 'in the neighborhood'.  It was not easy and we had that talk a hundred times, but I was starting to think that things would never change.

"I've seen the picture." she let out, making me frown. I was about to ask her what pictures she was talking about but she continued. "Of you and her... kissing."

Once again she put emphasis on the 'her' which is something she always did when it came to Olivia. I couldn't remember the last time she actually pronounced her name.

"What are you..."

I didn't have time to finish, she moved her phone up and showed me a picture from the day before. It was all over google, or it seemed, and I could see a very bad picture from very far away of a supposed and obscure kiss between my best friend and I. The angle was shady and although it was probably not photoshopped, it also was clearly not what was happening for real. I chuckled and rolled my eyes, taking a bite of my cold of pastas.

"You know it's just the angle, right?" I asked with an obvious tone full of judgement.

She breathed in, her facial expression turning into a angry one as she brought her phone closer to her, leaving it on the table. She moved closer to me, leaning against the table a bit, and sighed again.

"I think it is exactly what I see."

With my fork still in hand, i leaned against the table too to talk in a low tone.

"Three or four years ago there was a picture of Harry and I kissing that appeared online with a bunch of different articles titled ridiculous shit like 'Harry Styles' New Squeeze Is His One Direction Bandmate Niall Horan' and I can assure you Harry and I never kissed even if you would doubt it with the picture." I explained roughly but in a whisper. "It's what these people do, it's their job to start bullshit about celebrities. I'm sure you had your fair share. So if I tell you this picture is not real and that I was not kissing Olivia, then you should trust me."

She blinked a few times and shook her head and although I knew I hadn't convinced her of anything, I also knew she didn't have any argument to keep this fight going. Or I thought so.

"So you're not having sex with her?"

I choked on my beer and cleared my throat before swallowing hard. All I could think about was the time I fingered my best friend and how I came all over myself from it. It was very weird to think about it while looking at my girlfriend but I finally sighed. I hadn't touched Liv in that way or cheated on Maya again ever since and even if I couldn't pretend I hadn't thought about it, I had been physically faithful to her. Well, except that one time.

"Why would you even ask that?" I wondered rudely, a bit louder this time. "How many times do I have to tell you that she's just my best friend?"

I felt my heart jump in my chest as if i had just expressed a lie and maybe I had. Can someone really be just a friend if you also have sexual thoughts about them?

"Then why don't you ever make love to me?"

Her tone was rude but her voice was low and it seemed even rougher this way. It felt like a slap in the face and I held my breath, staring at her as the anger showed on my face turned into annoyance and a bit of embarrassment. I could feel my cheeks burn, not because I was not banging regularly a girl like Maya or because she was talking about it in public but simply because of the reason why.

"You know... love is a big thing and.."

"Fine." she cut me. "Why don't we have sex, then? Better?"

I cleared my throat without answering her question and licked my lips before looking up in her eyes. I was not having sex with Maya because I was too horny for someone else. It had never happened to me before but it was the truth. Maya and I fought a lot and argued and whenever it would happen, I clearly was not in the mood to be lovey with her. Even on our good days though, I couldn't do it. I had tried and we had a few times, but most of the time i'd find an excuse. Sometimes, i'd even wait until she was asleep to join her in bed, which resulted in many nights spent on the couch since I would end up falling asleep in the living room instead. The last time I had tried to have sex with Maya, I thought about my best friend and it felt so wrong that I had to stop and pretended I had a migraine. Yes, a fucking migraine. I was pathetic. I had this gorgeous model in my bed and I couldn't think with my cock for just an hour in order to shag her.

"I've just been tired and busy." I let out as if it explained anything. "Are you really mad about that? Seriously?"

She didn't answer but pressed her lips together, staring at me as I shook my head.

"Jealousy doesn't look good on you." I pointed out, playing with my cold food by running my fork a bit too violently in my plate.

"If you're not getting it from me, you're getting it somewhere else. I know how men work, Niall."

I sent her a frown and then scoffed, shaking my head again. I couldn't believe we were having this discussion and it made me feel like shit. Did I really want to go through that all the time? Of course, I didn't imagine Maya and I to get married or anything and if I wanted to be honest with myself, I didn't even see myself dating her in the long run. Perhaps this whole relationship was not worth trying to save after all.

"Really now?" I asked, slightly pissed now. "You know how men work? Well then I hope you saw this coming."

I grabbed the cloth napkin I had placed on my lap and wiped my hands with it before throwing it in my plate a bit roughly and looking up in her eyes. She seemed surprised but I knew she knew exactly what I was doing. I leaned closer to her again and stared at her for a few seconds.

"I'm tired of this. We're done."

With an annoying noise, I pushed my chair back and got up, grabbing my coat and diving both my hands in my pockets as I walked away. I stopped when I met our waiter and gave him two bills of a hundred to make sure everything was covered and to apologize if we disturbed other clients. I just wanted to be far from here as soon as possible and I thanked him before leaving quickly.

I breathed in deeply when I stepped out, the cold winter air reaching my nose and making me feel suddenly lighter. Was it wrong of me to feel so relieved to be single again? Perhaps, but I couldn't help it. I waved for a cab and quickly got in but giving the driver my best friend's address instead of mine. I really needed to see her and I felt like I hadn't seen her in way too long.

                                                       ---

I stood in front of her apartment building, my hands still in my pockets as the cab disappeared behind me. I didn't know if it was a good idea and I knew I was here unannounced but even if it hadn't happened in a while, we used to do that all the time. I wasn't sure she was there as I rang the bell but I decided that if she was not, i'd get inside and wait for her anyway, no matter how long it would take for her to come back.

It took longer than expected for the door to unlock and I put my keys back in my pockets, opening the door and rushing upstairs. When I knocked, the door opened slightly and Liv's face appeared, making my smile grow bigger.

"Hey, sorry I didn't call." I apologized, licking my lips. "Can I come in?"

I was excited to see her, impatient to tell her we'd get to spend more time together and explain that I was single now.

"Uhm, yea, of course."

She took a step behind and I pushed on the door slightly and walked quickly inside.

"So guess wh-" I stopped myself suddenly, my voice stuck in my throat as my smile fell. "Harry?"

My bandmate was there, sitting on her couch with half a blanket on him while the other was moved. She was clearly sitting there before opening the door and I noticed how close they must have been from each other. There was a movie on pause in the background and I tried to make sense of the scene in front of me.

My eyes found her again and I frowned, taken aback by the fact that I had not seen this coming at all. Perhaps I was too busy fighting with Maya to realize Olivia and Harry were hanging out again and I hated it. I hated it more than I could explain.

"Wow, really?" I asked, getting pissed for the second time tonight. "Him? Here?"

She frowned and shook her head a bit before shrugging but I didn't let her talk.

"You didn't even think to tell me that you two were spending time together?" I added, not giving her time to talk. "You didn't think to mention that you wanted to try again with him or that you had feelings for him again? What am I to you? Are we even still best friends?"

"Niall, it's not what you-"

"No, wait." I cut her. "I come here to tell you I dumped Maya and I find you cuddling Harry?"  I shook my head and scoffed, slipping my hand in my hair and turning on my heels so my back was facing her.

"It's really not what you think, Niall."

Hearing Harry's voice pissed me off even more and I shut my eyes tight with a groan. I wanted to tell him to mind his own business but I was scared that this business was now his, too. I missed the days Olivia and I were both single and always together but it seemed like it wouldn't be happening again. At least, not soon. Fucking Harry. I knew I was mad at him for no reason but I couldn't help it.

"He's right." Liv agreed with him, twisting something in my stomach. "And we weren't cuddling."

I turned back to her swiftly, raising my eyebrows as my lips parted.

"Don't lie to me, I have two functioning eyes!"

"Oh my god Niall calm down!"

Her voice took me by surprise and I took a step back as Harry got up from the couch slowly and walked up to her, placing his hand gently on her shoulder. That display of affection made me want to puke.

"I'll leave you two, call me okay?"

She nodded and he smiled before turning to me and giving me a short head movement as a goodbye. His hand slipped from her arm and I watched it, holding my breath the whole time. We waited until the door closed behind him and I breathed in but we stayed silent, just staring at each other. She seemed to glow and I didn't want it to be because of him. She moved two locks of hair behind both her ears and I surprised myself wishing I was the one who pushed them out of her face with more delicateness than the way she had done it.

I thought she'd propose me a drink and that we'd talk sitting on her couch but she just brought her arms closer, crossing them over her chest and bringing her shoulders up.

"Harry and I are just friends, Niall, that's all."

I hated that answer and it reminded me that I gave the exact same one to everyone who asked about me and her. Why did I have such a hard time believing it when it came from her mouth? Perhaps it was because it was hard to believe when it came out of mine.

"I'm not getting back with him, Niall."

I sighed and shook my head, bringing my hands to my hair and pulling on it a bit too hard. I don't know why I was getting so mad but I couldn't help it. It was raising inside me like a volcano near boiling and I closed my eyes, pacing quickly in a small circle and letting out a few groans. I couldn't seem to ease the anger I was feeling and it was making me even angrier.

"You know what? I don't believe you!" I let out.

"Why?" she asked with a frown, taking a step closer. "I won't go back with him!"

"And why wouldn't you go back with him mm?" I asked a bit too loud, throwing my arms in the air in a ridiculous way. "He's perfect, he clearly still has feelings for you and you two didn't really have any reason to break up."

"Because... that's not how it works, Nee." she replied, shaking her head and avoiding my eyes.

I blinked a few times, staring at her, breathing in as my hands formed fists. I could feel my nails digging gently in my palms and the word escaped my mouth in a yell. "WHY?"

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU OKAY!?"

Silence. All I could hear was the pace of my heartbeats accelerating in my chest. My muscle loosened and I opened my hands as my shoulders fell.

"What?"

My voice was low, almost inaudible.

"I love you Niall. I'm in love with you." she added, swallowing hard. "I've always been. Since the day I found out what love was, I knew the love of my life was you. I didn't stop loving you, not even half a second. It's always been you, and no one else."

"That makes... no sense." I whispered, shaking my head and taking a step back despite myself.

"Except it makes all the sense in the world, Niall, don't you think?" I watched her tilt her head on the side and it hit me just how vulnerable she looked. "Don't you think we make sense?"

"As best friends, yea." I explained now completely calm. "As.. maybe a bit more than that, sure. We make sense as ambiguous best friends that people question, okay, I get that."

I stared at her, unsure if my heart had stopped or was going too fast for me to feel the beats. Weirdly, I wanted to take her in my arms and beg her to take her words back so everything could go back to normal. Why didn't I see this before? Or did I? Why didn't I want to see this before?

Her emotions changed, her face softening but also turning into a sad expression. I felt like shit, I felt out of place, I felt guilty... and all these feelings couldn't seem to make me find the right words.

"But Olivia, you and I? As a couple?" I shook my head, raising my eyebrows and bringing my shoulders up. "No, it doesn't make sense. It wouldn't work."

I was searching for her eyes but she was avoiding any contact and we remained motionless and in silence for a few minutes. It was awkward and I couldn't put a finger on the last time it was awkward between us.

"Do you love me, Niall?"

Her eyes finally met mine and my lips parted at her question. I pushed my hands deep in my pockets and shook my head slightly.

"You always ask me that question. My answer is still the same."

She took a step closer and my gaze followed her. The closer her body was getting, the harder my heart was beating. Why did this have to happen?

"I mean real love."

She didn't try to add anything else, we both knew what she meant and we both knew I was avoiding the question. She took an other step closer and I looked down in her eyes as her chin moved up. My eyes roamed in her face, trying to memorize every single detail : the way her tin lips were slightly parted, the way her green eyes had an halo of gold around the pupils, the way her button nose moved up delicately when she talked. I brought one of my hands to her cheek, slowly and gently, and ran my thumb on her skin. She looked on the verge to cry and I didn't want to admit that I felt tears coming, too. I was losing my best friend.

"I can't." I just said, taking a step back and feeling my hand slip from her face before letting my arm fall. "I'm sorry."

I sighed and closed my eyes for a few seconds, trying to stop my whole body from throbbing and finally just shook my head before turning around.

"Niall..."

I swallowed hard and breathed in without turning back to look at her.

"I'm sorry."

And then I did the worst thing I could have done. I left.

                                                    ----

My whole body was burning and throbbing and I stopped running as soon as I was out of her building, holding myself on my knees with my hands, my eyes closed. It felt horrible, like I was trapped in a closed elevator in-between two levels... like I was stuck in a secluded and locked place without being able to get out. I had a hard time breathing and I tried to concentrate on inhaling and exhaling to get back to normal.

It took a while but when my crisis was over, I moved up again and searched for my phone in my pockets. I realized my hands were shaking when I tried typing a message but I finally hit 'send'. It took me longer than I thought but I eventually found a cab and ended up in bar, sitting on a stool and drinking a beer. I was twisting it in my hands without tasting it, probably warming the liquid with the palm of my hand pressed on the bottle. I felt someone sit next to me but it's only when I heard his voice that I looked up.

"Six tequila shots." Louis ordered, looking at the barman before turning to look at me and then back at the man behind the counter. "No wait, make it eight, please and thank you."

"Oh I'm not getting drunk." I pointed out with a frown.

"Fuck yes you are." Louis chuckled. "I'm seeing your face and you clearly need it. What happened? You broke up with Maya?"

I scoffed and looked back at my beer, taking of sip of it and grimacing slightly.

"That's not why I asked you to meet here, I just needed company."

I was not sure if it was a lie or if it was only half a lie but it didn't matter. Louis knew me too well and when he laughed, I knew he didn't believe anything I said. The barman came back and aligned the eight shots in front of us as Louis handed him a bill and my eyes roamed on the shots slowly.

"Let's drink half of them then you can tell me what the fuck is wrong Neil, okay?"

I rolled my eyes at the nickname and grabbed one, quickly downing it and turning the shots around, putting it back on the counter with a light thud before grabbing the other one and doing the same. My throat was burning because of the alcohol and so were my eyes but there was clearly no link with the shots. I rubbed both my eyes and sighed again but when I turned to Louis, he was waiting.

"Olivia told me she loved me."

Louis blinked a few times and shook his head.

"Okay... and?"

I opened my eyes in surprise. I had expected a different reaction : a loud laughter, a shocked expression, or even a grimace... but indifference? No, I hadn't seen that coming at all.

"And?" I repeated, raising my eyebrows. "She loves me, Louis. She LOVES me."

This time, Louis laughed and shook his head, pushing an other shot on the counter to get it closer to me.

"Because you're gonna tell me you didn't know before she told you?"

He grabbed a shot and brought it to his lips. I watched him as he swallowed the third and the fourth, grimacing and finally turning to look at me. I was not really sure why it was Louis I had called. Probably because he was the first contact I found, or maybe because I knew he was going to tell me things the way he sees them. He was going to tell me what I needed to hear, not what I wanted to hear.

"N-No..."

"Then you're a fooking idiot, Niall."

"Thanks Tommo, that really helps." I let out with sarcasm, raising my nose and drinking my last shots before grabbing my beer again.

"So, you two are dating now?" he asked, taking the cigarette from behind his ear to place it between his lips.

My face twisted in an other grimace and my nose raised up at his words as he took his lighter out of his pockets. I watched as he lighted it up and inhaled a long puff, letting the smoke come out from his nose. I was not even sure it was allowed to smoke in this bar.

"No, of course we're not dating. I don't.. We're not..." It seemed like I couldn't finish my sentence and I sighed a bit too loud.

"Let's face it Niall. The only thing that would change if you two started dating would be holding hands and having sex. It doesn't sound too terrible does it?"

He tapped on his cigarette and the ash fell on his napkin before he licked his lips. I tried to think about having sex with Liv every day and holding her hand... I tried to think about cuddling her at night, dancing with her in the living room, having conversations in the AM all the time. Louis was right, most of those were things we already did.

"But dating means love, it means a steady relationship, it means being faithful and owing your time and heart to someone. it implies a lot more than I can give her. I can't give her that."

"Can't or won't?"

"I hate you, Tommo." I groaned, grabbing my beer again and drinking what was left of it.

"You're scared, that is pretty obvious." Louis said, his lips moving a bit as he shrugged. "But it's time you man up and admit how you feel. Or i'm telling you, mate. You're gonna lose her. And this time, it may be forever."

[silverofdreams]

My story is finished.

I have to thank @ao719, @debramcg1106, @burnsoslow, @the-soot-sprite who told me to post this thing cause its not within my comfort zone to write, Im more of a reader. But my brain wants me to explore this, and I might write more of it if it makes people happy to read it.

” What if….

A tale of two people”

 Authors note:

This is a one shot, and my first time ever exploring this

fandom in words. English is not my language so please excuse any mistakes or grammar faults.

Synopsis:

This story explores the What if Drake mentioned in book 2, what if he and Rose (Riley) met somewhere else other than Liam’s bachelor party could their story have become different?

 Pairing:

Rose / Drake

 Warnings:

None, this is pure fluff, maybe a bit angst because Drake is Drake.

Rating

-       PG -

        F

riday afternoon, Rose Greer had just clocked off her day shift at the bar where she worked together with her friend Daniel. She had looked forward to an evening having a long bath and then watching a movie since her work required a lot of willpower and she simply did not have a lot of that, but she needed the money and it paid her bills, so she stuck with it.

 She had longed for this evening all week and sighed loudly when her phone went off. She looked at the screen “Sandra calling”, Sandra was also one of her good friends in New York. Rose knew this could mean only one thing another blind date. Sandra was well-known for her ability to set friends up with guys, she had an agency that expertise in this and had tried to get Rose aboard several times since she moved to New York. “Yes,” she answered after debating whether she should or not.

“Rose! my best friend in the world”! Sandra’s voice echoed on the other end “I have a proposal for you”, Rose sighed “What now”? Sandra’s voice shrieked with excitement “I have a great blind date for you my friend, you cannot say no this time too good to pass up I assure you”.

“Sandra, I have heard this plenty of times before, why is this such a good opportunity” Rose questioned her friend. “I have this guy who is very handsome, he seems to fit your book of guys really well, tough but indeed handsome please help me out this time will you”. Rose sighed it could not hurt to at least go and see the guy once right, “Okay Sandra, tell me time and place and what kind of clothes I should wear”.

Sandra gave her the info needed, Rose headed home for a quick shower, a change of clothes and then the wait time begun.

7 pm arrived, Rose headed out to the restaurant Sandra told her to go to, it was a smaller one with a cozy decoration. Rose headed inside and sat down by a window, her date seemed not to have arrived yet.

If it was one thing, she hated it was people not clocking in on time, and this person seemed to fit that bill way to good. Five minutes later a guy dressed all in denim entered the place. Rose eyes widened as denim was so out of fashion, this year it was all about style for the guys in New York.

He stood a few moments looking around the area, and Rose got annoyed it was really no other people than her there at that time. He then saw her sitting by the window and walked up. “Are you Greer”? He simply asked hesitating a moment before sitting down opposite her.

“My name is Rose, thank you very much” she said a bit icily since it was not polite to greet the way he did meeting someone the first time. Oh, dear this meeting does not start on the top she thought to herself. The guy sighed to himself Why did I agree to this? The both sat in silence for about five minutes before Rose decided she had to do something, or her night off would be ruined. “Okay, it is clear none of us really want to be here, but why do we not try our best to make it a nice evening for the both of us”? She said and looked at him. He nodded “well yeah okay”. “Why do you not tell me your name to start” Rose said awaiting his reply.

“ Drake” he shifted a bit uncomfortable in his chair “ Look I’m not very good with this chit chat small talk thing with people, I’m also  not good at apologizing for my behavior either but I am sorry if I seem like a jerk to you I try not to be it is my personality “ Rose nodded “ it’s all right I do understand, it is not easy to talk to strangers and I am totally  agreeing with you about that”. “

Should we start by ordering food and then try go to there making the best out of this meeting for both of us”?  She asked, he agreed luckily for him there was both his favorite food burgers and whiskey on the restaurant’s menu. He made his order while Rose looked on with a surprised look “oh we like the same stuff that is good” she said with a hint of a smile. The first smile she had shown that evening. She ordered the same things as him and the waiter left them alone. “So, Drake was it, where are you from and how did you end up in New York”? Rose asked after a while. Drake pondered for a bit before replying “I’m from a small Island called Cordonia, I ended up here because I needed some space from what is going on back there”. Rose listened now more intrigued by this young man. He seemed to be around her age, what could be so terrible he had to leave and go to another country.?

“Wow, that seem like some tough things are going on in your life”? I myself are a New Yorker, my family is normal people and live in another state, but I choose to stay here because it is my home”. Drake simply nodded he was a man of few words but once someone melted his icy heart, he really could be a soft guy but that the would not tell her about, she would have to figure out that one herself if they were to meet again. The food soon arrived, it tasted nice Sandra sure had choose this place for a reason Rose thought as she tried the burger front of her. “Mmmmm this is tasty” she nodded as the first bit was taken in. Drake tasted his and nodded “yeah, its certainly is no bad stuff”. The two of them indulged their food during silence, sometimes its nicer to eat and enjoy the food than interrupting the other with questions. Rose is a girl that like to talk to new people she meets, but if the guy is not so into it, she tries to accept his ways and roll with it. She figured he seemed like a nice but silent guy, perhaps a bit aloof at times but certainly an interesting personality. His looks were no shame though, he was indeed handsome, muscular body type and eyes that could piece into one’s heart at the right moment. Sandra had for once not been wrong that it was a very handsome guy indeed.

Drake had similar thoughts, the woman at that dating agency had stopped him on the streets and convinced him tonight would be the perfect date for him. He would not really believe it, but the woman had insisted so he had obliged to go to the meeting. He was a guy with very little patience for silly girls, he could not stand talking about topics like fashion, movies and the like he was a man of few words. But this girl intrigued him like no one else he had met, he did not know why, it simply felt right. Maybe if he again dared to explore love he might end up happy, might have a life filled  of warm, laughter and love but it would take a while to get there, he had to try and make efforts, see where things would go he would have to get over his past girlfriend who left him to be with his best friend, he had to learn to move on with his life.

[chrisbangs]

so i guess i could type like a practical person for once……. maybe………. but i probably won’t so i apologize ahead of time……… anyway, so i hit? 1k…..? after remaking only 3 months ago... to me that’s pretty crazy because as a lot of my older mutuals will know, i remake like every 0.38 seconds because i’m annoying like that… to the people who’ve been here since forever (you know who you are) it means a lot that you’ve stuck with me through blog type changes (there’s like 1 or 2 of you who’ve just been around since The Beginning and wowza thank you for dealing with me like that ifnawoeiawoef)!!! and to the people who i’ve only recently become mutuals with i apologize cause at any second i will probably be like hee honk time to remake. to all of you, mutuals and followers, thank you for dealing with my stupid lame text posts about chan or my crazy ‘content creators deserve better’ campaigns!! thank you for interacting with me through dms, asks, even just liking my posts and being kind to me when i’m down- i really appreciate that. i’ve been using tumblr for a very, very long time, and tbh, i feel like its not until recently that i’ve found a group of people that i feel very comfortable and happy around. you guys are all so talented and funny and warm and friendly, and i’m so thankful for you guys in my life! thank you so much for allowing me to be a part of your dash !!! i’m really grateful if you’ve ever enjoyed my content (gifs, gfx, etc.) and i hope i can continue to make your dashes and hearts bright whether it be through content or my stupid dumb (i hope funny) tags! i love you all!

(( if theres a 🖤 next to your name!! i’ve left a little message for you under the cut ;; v ;; !!! i hope you know how much i love and appreciate all of you! (i really didn’t proof read these so like… u know… just…….. i apologize foawinefoiwna) ))

@00hj 🖤, @1095, @19gf, @3rachha, @angelhyunjin​ 🖤, @binnieseason​, @binsungz​ 🖤, @boxerminho​, @changbeanie​, @chimneycloud​, @cosmicskz​ 🖤, @dhalfmoonbydean​, @f1owerlix​ 🖤, @huiracha​, @ilovedowoon​, @jedixuxi​ 🖤, @jinlix​ 🖤, @jisquish​ 🖤, @johfam​ 🖤, @kim-seungmins​ 🖤, @kim-woojins​, @kimwuujin​ 🖤, @kqngyounghyun​ 🖤, @luvknow​, @marriael​, @momowlw​, @mydays​, @noairmv​ 🖤, @naekkung​, @parkjinwoo​, @prodskz​ 🖤, @pouringmv​, @realstraykids​, @seofthours​, @seungminsmile​, @soohao​, @sk-z​ 🖤, @skzbffie​, @skzd​ 🖤, @stray-kids​, @straykisd​, @theminho​ 🖤, @uayv​ 🖤, @ultscb​ 🖤, @wayvgf​ 🖤, @yngbok​

@00hj​: hello karen! wow :( it feels like forever since we’ve been mutual… like i really cannot believe it’s been??? 7/8 months since we first became friends? like it doesn’t even feel that long. i know time flies and we’re at that point in our lives where every day just flashes by but :( even in those moments that do pass by, you’re always there making me smile. through your killer content or your funny jokes or those convos where we’re both just yelling abt how much we HATE group projects… its all fun :( you always make me smile and make me want to work harder. when i see how hard you work??? it just makes me want to work /that/ much harder. from your gfx to your gifs!! you are a pillar in this community and i am so honoured to be pals with u man faionwefoaie !!! to top that off, i feel like i can always ask you anything- any dumb questions i have abt making things, anything that’s just kinda eating at me, i feel like i can talk to you about it. you’re such a comfy place !! a comfy warm person !! and i love you dearly! i hope you get to kick back with jisung and hyunjin and enjoy a slice of pie!!

@angelhyunjin​: hello angi! my darling you work so so so hard! your art is always stellar and always wowing! i know sometimes you worry about posting, but please remember to put your health first;; its hard to think about yourself sometimes, i know, but remind yourself that !! to make smth nice, you need to be well first!!! anyway;; your art never fails to make me smile. like your style is sososo distinct and memorable?? and also?? you’re an amazing dancer!!! your covers are always so lovely and you do such a great job :( i can tell how passionate you are about things through both your art and your dance! thank you for always working hard and being kind to everyone around you! i love you dearly angel! hyunjin is sending his love!

@binsungz​: yooooo whaTS UP HOMIE FIAWNOFANWFO HELLO BABY!! MY WHORE PARTNER!!!!!!!! MY GIRL!!!!!!!!! literally what do i even say here that i haven’t already said to you??? you’re one of my closest friends online and you ALWAYS make me laugh. from talking abt nsfw things to cute things to minecraft and gaming!!! you always always get me !!! you just have a knack for understanding me?? and that’s just :( so appreciated!!!! you !!! are !!! amazing dude!!! ur gifs are always so clean; you’re one of the reasons i started working harder to make my gifs better bc you inspired me !! you’re always so kind and warm and loving ; and i can always talk with you abt sucking dicks or eating pussy like IT REALLY DO BE LIKE THAT !!!!!!!!! i was going through my old blog and i found those videos you did where you looked through my blog and when i heard your voice again and you being like ‘omg ur so funny’ i was ready to scream cause it was still so fuiowenaowieaoe fricking cute :(((( dude I LOVE YOU!!!! like you really are one of the kindest people in the world and i can’t stop !! saying !! how thankful!!! i am for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love you so much britt !! thank you for always dealing with me and being kind to me and just fjaoweifnaow you’re really the best :((( jisung and [redacted] love u but not as much as me ok foaiwneoaiwnfia ……..

@cosmicskz​: hello gumdrop!!! my love!!! thank you so much for always hyping – not just me- but everyone up!! you are sososo kind and so so so SO warm and cute and oawifenawo precious!!! please remember to take care of your health and of yourself too!! loving everyone around u is important but also take care of yourself TT TT !!! your content is also always so cute and thoughtful and you put 110% into everything you do ????? like !!!!!!!!  ma’am????? so talented and pure ;; ___ ;; like i don’t know how you do it but you do !!! also thank you for ALWAYS offering to look @ my work and give me advice etc etc!! i am so appreciative of it ;; also – i know i don’t always reply that often but !!!!!!!!!!!! i love you and i’m thankful that you’re so patient with me when it comes to dms fjaowiefnawoiefn TT TT you’re ! so ! lovely and sweet and i hope you know !! i’m here for you whenever you need !!! skz and i lovelovelove you!

@f1owerlix​: vale……….. vale………………. VALE……………………………. HELLO…………………. ??? i ??? can’t even find the words to tell you what you mean to me. i’d write a poem but its just gonna end up being long and i’d never be able to finish it bc i’d go back and keep adding bits and lines abt how you’re like the NICEST person in humanities history and that you’re just an all-around talented and wonderful person….. like….. are u KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!!!!! she did that (that = being the kindest person EVER) you’re always using The Most amount of nicknames possible;; and it makes my heart so so so soft. not only that, but you’re also such a kind, genuine, warm person. i don’t know anyone who is as kind, and humble, and talented, and warm like you. i literally could list a billion wonderful things about you because you’re that frucaowienoawikingiawgo amazing…. dude like seriously…. we out here STANNING miss vale….. i was going through my blog a while ago and i saw this tag that was like ‘i got my vale fansite set up and we’re going to start making slogans and planning birthday events’ like past li had it right. you’re so kind and funny and warm and i always feel safe and comfy talking to you. i really appreciate the feedback you give me- because its always so thought out and GENUINE. like… you do this for EVERYONE… all the tags i read from you are so KIND and you always make ccs feel like they’re doing the best job ever…. like you really……. you really are an angel on this ea.rth…. huh….. also…? changbin is dropping by with flowers for you!!!!

@jedixuxi​: hello angel;; i hope you’re doing well!!! thank you for dealing with my blog change and staying mutuals with me regardless of content differing! thank you for always being kind and being patient with me- i know i don’t reply a lot but ;; you are a really good friend to me and i am so so so thankful;; you’re so sweet and warm and such a talented artist;; like everything you draw im always like fjawifeawoej :0000 !!!!! you really have so much love and warmth inside of you and !!! that’s why ur so tall ma’am.. foawiefnoaweifno :’( aaaa thank you so much beth for always being so warm to others; your brightness is like the sun on my dash and in my dms and you always make me smile or laugh its just ;; aofwienaiwneoi I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! and xuxi is also mailing his entire heart your way ok !!!

@jinlix​: hello madam ! hello to my lov e !!! my sweet lil gum drop !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hello KELLY!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my gosh hi bb :( thank you for everything you do; firstly, your gfx?? so incredible ok?? like i know your style immediately when i see it yet you always manage to surprise me?? like your work is so fucking GOOD. how does she do it :// like us plebeians will never kno and that’s how it fuckin be ig afoiwneoaiwnfeoawi ….. omg…. ok…. and like secondly??? youre always so humble and kind to other ppl??? like your tags on anyones work is always so so so so kind TT TT you always say the nicest things- and i still remember the tags you left on one of my very first skz gfxs … like you really made my heart flutter like that huh….. hm…. guess you’re an angel or smth like… that…. gmgamoweigna TT __ TT Kelly seriously you’re such a sweet heart? you love with all your heart and its so warm and soft and whenever you talk abt hyunjin im like jfjfaiweIFAIWo …. my heart !!!!!!!!!!! like he would totally be floored by your love bc of how soft u fuckin are oh ymgmymmym go d !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyway :( i love u so much and hope you’re well angel!! hyunjin is sending all his love your way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@jisquish​: ok here we go … ma’am… MA’AM… how do i even EXPLAIN the love i feel for u.. oh my gosh.. miss india.. you really exist like that.. like we STAN a whole ass legend huh… not only are you funny and smart and talented and kind and amazing?? you’re also just like.. the coolest bestest person in the world? like i still find it hard to believe you were one of my anons bc like… u just.. u r too … ://// cool… like i’m really just sitting here like… an idiot… from day 1 you’ve always been so fucking kind to me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you have just :( been so sweet and kind and just an all-around angel- and even if we only talk every now and then, i always feel so warm and happy whenever we do!! u know those ppl u don’t have to talk to 24/7 to know that there’s still a warm friendly hug waiting for you??? :(( yea you’re one of those people. you always always ALWAYS make me laugh like hfawoifenoawie :( hello how do u do this?? yet you also are so grounded and warm and understanding and like.. i can’t believe you’re also one of the most talented humans ever;; whenever i see your covers, i’m always like !!! wowowowo !!! you inspire me to work harder with my music and writing ;; you are such an angel :-( and i am so thankful for you! so so so so thankful!!! jeongin and changbin and jisung are sending all their love !!! and so am i bb !!!

@johfam​: if anyone deserves a thank you- it is you. miss nita… jejejsigaweg i feel like i’m gonna cry typing this so here we go…. you’ve been friends with me for more than a year now i believe :( i think we’ve actually hit our year since we became friends which is so wild to me?? you’ve been with me through SO MANY THINGS… like you’ve been my soundboard for so many things in my life.. i can’t believe we started talking bc a spider landed on your hand… and u stabbed ur own hand with a pencil.. like ig we have to thank that spider….. ghanwegoiawen….. you’ve really stuck with me through blog changes and through me being angry abt things and you’ve allowed me to be angry- which i appreciate so much.. you know me so well :// like… idk how you do it but you always make me feel safe and warm and like i can say anything to you and you’ll hear me out?? like oaiwnefaiwenof :( you just !! you’ve supported me so much through so many bad days and i can’t thank you enough. you are made of sunshine and stardust and your heart is literally the softest and warmest. thank you !!! for !!! always enjoying frogs with me and sending me cute frog things.. like.. :( it makes me SO happy that we can enjoy those lil squishy fuckers together.. also thank u for being my source of johnny content jfjawfieawio i’ve literally unfollowed every other nct blog and you’re one of the only ones left bc i still love johnny so much and seeing him on my dash- esp with your tags- makes me so so so happy;; thank you for everything you’ve done for me and !!! and for all the love you’ve given me :( and just for being there for me through some of the toughest places in my life;; i really love and appreciate you!!!!!!!!! johnny is sending his love and some kisses through the mail :’(

@kim-seungmins​: hfhawefaniow…………… hello dumm..y… :( u r the loml.. you’ve been there for me through so much shit in the short amt of the time we’ve been friends.. u were also one of my first friends in this fandom- and i’m so thankful you were bc we got really close during these last few months and it makes me so happy. you’re so funny and you always make me laugh!!! you give me so much confidence and happiness and you make me feel so warm and happy ;; !!!!!! you are a fajfowienawei whole ass angel who is always working hard both to make good content and in school. :( i’m so proud of you for all that you do dude like wowowwowo :( look @ you go ????? you’re also one of the funniest pals i have like u literally make me bust a LUNG laughing … like whenever i get any of my biases together in one screen i now literally think, without even pause, “abia voice: crumbs” likej faweiojaowefoi you’re such an icon!!!!!!!!! also?? like … you’ve just been s o kind to me and helped me with things that i’ve not talked to others with bc you never make me feel like i’ll be judged… like.. you’re so fucking understanding and warm and kind and considerate with how you reply; you always care and you’re just… :( u r angel or smth like that… i know i tease you and that’s kinda how i show my love but for real dude………………. i love u so much.. like if i could give you the whole world i really fucking would.. :( because you deserve nothing less!! thank u for always providing that good good seungmin content ;; seungmin and minho and woojin all told me to tell you that they love you!!!

@kimwuujin​: hello sugar drop!! thank you for being so kind and warm and always just !!! being so sweet :( you always tag me in funny/cute content and it’s always appreciated !!! i feel like i can always be dumb and say stupid soft things abt chan with you bc you’ll understand how i feel :((( you’re so sweet and i’m so glad we started talking more !! you’re not only like faoiwenfaowi incredibly cute and sweet but you’re also so so so so funny !!! :( like you make me laugh and aofwinewaoinoi i really appreciate that!! you’re also so grounded and understanding and !! you always know what to say and i’m really appreciative of the fact that you phrase things so well and eloquently- when will my dumbass ever- anyway fhawjeofaowein i love you with all my heart and hope you’re !! doing well sweetpea !!! chan and are yeeting every ounce of love we have for you to you!!!!!!!!!!!

@kqngyounghyun​: hello my love :( i can’t even remember the first time we talked bc it feels like its been so so so long; and through all of this time you’ve been one of my close friends who’s stuck around with me through so much. you’re always there, and always kind, and just always warm and friendly and a safe place to go. i love that we can bitch abt things with each other but also oiawenfowaie be super soft… but then also talk abt super nsfw things jfawieaoeif aofiwneoai you’ve always been so so kind to me and i really do appreciate it. thank you for sticking with me through all my blog changes and for always supporting me and my dumbassery;; i really hope you know how much i appreciate you and how much i love you! you’re such a hardworking person- like whenever you tell me abt the effort you’re putting in at school its just oifnawiefnaoi wowowow!!! you’re so amazing :(( !!!!! also, you were there for me during one of the Hardest Points In My Life- like a time when i really thought i was going to ofaiwneoiawen lose my mind bc of how much i was struggling……. but you seriously helped me get through that part of my life and i can never fully explain to you how thankful i am. but i love you so much and i’m so thankful. younghyun and i both love you to the ends of the earth ;; __ ;; !!!

@noairmv​: hello ! ! ! miss ai!! the loml!!! angel!! bb gumdrop!! jacob’s baby!!! all names we can use to refer to you!!! :( hello baby!! thankyou! for everything! for all you do! for all you are! you are always honest with me, always genuine, always kind and understanding. you do more than i could ever fucking ask for. i’ve told this to you before but, i think you’re the one person i can go to- without fail- for like.. real life advice… like things that i feel like i cannot ask anyone else, i can ask you. i remember when i was struggling financially i immediately went to you first to talk things through. you give me a lot of clarity and you help me understand my own thoughts and talking to you always puts things into perspective for me. you’re also always there to rant abt nsfw things with which is foaiwnefoaiwn so fun afnowienfao afjfaowefiao but also i get to be super soft with you which is also really :~( the best oof……… i love u so much…….. like, thank you for always looking @ my gfxs, and for always being supportive and understanding and giving me genuine advice. i love listening to you talk abt Jacob (and being rawed by others who are not … Jacob………… ahem………) aofiwnefoaiwno thank you for always being patient with me and for being so kind (and for always faowineoawi saying yes when i propOSE FAOIWNOAIWF ;;) you’re an angel (hee honk) from above and i will always be thankful for you in my life angel bean :( thank you so much for everything ai, i love you SO fucking much… jacob also loves u – he told me to tell u that !!!

@prodskz​: hello my love! ! ! ! i think i told you this once but!! my favourite kinds of relationships are those ones that have a good roast/love ratio!!! and i deeply feel that ours is that kinda relationship!!! no matter how many times we destroy each other aoiwnafienaiowe we’re always like ‘uwu anyway u r my baby’ 2 seconds later and foawinefoiane i love that!!! i love that you will send me 20 messages in a day and i’ll be like yoiNk i forgot but also let me reply to everything at once !! i love that you send me SO many skz memes throughout the day- they make me laugh so hard;; and also you always send me The Best Chan Pics so thank you for that fiawfenfoawienoiwe TT TT you’ve been so kind to me and so so so supportive of all my work ;; whether my gifs or my gfx or just my stupid posts- you are so supportive neha i :( i don’t even deserve the amt of love you give me but fjawoefawoe i ACCEPT ALL OF IT !!!!!!!!!! i’m such a dummy but please know that i love you WITH ALL MY FUCKIN HEART BABY!!!! you are so precious and talented and kind and funny and you are amazing !! like i mean it :( do not !! forget for a second how wonderful you are baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hyunjin would like to also remind you that he loves you to the moon and back (but i love u more ok)

@sk-z​: hi sweet pea !!! :’) i know we only started talking very recently but i already feel so close to you! i just wanted to say thank you for being there for me that night aofinweoianfew and thank you for always being a voice of reason; you’re so understanding and warm and !!! i really am floored but how kind you are!! i know i always say sorry and that’s ifonaweifnaio really just how i am but !! you really make me comfy and it feels easy to just say anything around you and not feel stressed out or judged?? like even things that i blame myself for, you help me see reason and feel better and i just :( i can’t thank you enough for that;; you’re so bright and warm and i really hope we get to continue talking for a long time angel!! i love you!!!

@skzd​: hi haleigh !! i know we haven’t talked in a while but you’re still one of my fav content creators!! even from back when i was an nctzen and we interacted there, to now over on these blogs!!! you’ve stayed such a constant in my life :( and you’ve honestly been nothing but supportive of me :( you’re always so kind whenever we do talk and you’re still one of the funniest people i know;; your tags will never fail to make me laugh;; i really appreciate your presence on my dash and i really want you to know all your content is so beautiful and appreciated;; :( you’re so talented my dude and i love you long time;; i really hope you’re doing well and taking care bc i do love you from the bottom of my heart angel!!! hyunjin is sending his love (and so am i !)

@theminho​: min my little gumdrop!! my sweet sugar bean!! my lil soft angel!!!!!!! hi angel!! :( darn i think you’re one of the ppl i’ve been following longest and oof… OOF.. like :( !! i’m so glad we started talking!! you always make me smile! you are so warm and thoughtful with your words. i’m not sure i know anyone who is as eloquent or as understanding as you. you just.. you really phrase things well. whenever we talk i !! i feel so grounded and like i know oafiwenoaw what you’re saying!! and you’re always so sweet and funny and expressive with what you say :( dude you’re just amazing ok!! and your gifs are always so so so beautiful like… omg…. WOW…. an angel huh TT TT ;; whenever i see your gifs or your tags i’m always so soft!! i’m so proud of you for working hard at school, and though i miss you!! i hope you’re spending your time resting when you get a chance and that school isn’t kicking your butt too much my love!!! i am so proud of you TT TT and i’m sending all my ‘fightings!!!’ and strength your way angel bean!!!! minho is also sending his love and energy!!!

@uayv​: hi darling!!! miss joyce! miss gfx queen! oh my goodness;; first of all- thank you for the BOMB ass content dude… your gfx… wowowowwo..w… secondly, thank you for sticking with me through a drastic blog change;; faoiwenfoaw i’m so glad that we’re still pals bc you’re one of those people that makes me laugh so hard from just your tags alone- and in dms i usually can’t stop smiling/laughing;; aoiwenfoiawenwa !!!!!! listen to me !!!!! the first time i found your blog was bc u rb’d one of my gfxs and left some of the nicest tags ever and i saw you had ‘gfx’ tagged in your bio so when i scrolled through your gfx and i was eMBARRASSED BC LIKE………… DUDE HOLY SHIT THIS PERSON HAD SOME OF THE BEST WORK I’D E V E R SEEN. i still think you are one of the MOST TALENTED GFX MAKERS EVER. you have so much of my respect and love and i wish i could aowiefnoawiefn give you … the whole world dude… awenfiawfeowia TT TT you are so kind to me whenever i ask for a second opinion on my gfx and you’re always so warm and funny- and your love for bread is so good- like i’m telling you whenever i see bread posts that aren’t from you i IMMEDIATELY either tag you or send them to you fawienoawien ;; you’re such a warm positive influence on my dash and in my life and i really love you from the bottom of my heart. i’m so thankful we’re pals bc you are a true angel and a true pal and just !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAA I LOVE U SO MUCH JOYCE OIANWFOIAWN TT TT (doyoung loves you loads too okay; he is sending big fat kisses ur way!)

@ultscb​: hi taryn!!! miss gif queen;; faoiwenfaown holy moly; you are such a talented person- but not only are you amazing at giffing ?? you’re also just ??? an amazing warm funny kind beautiful person??? like afnoiwnefowaienof hello?? you’re somehow always making me smile; whenever we talk or through your tags?? you’re just !! so !! lovely and fantastic and i!!!! really do love you!!! you’ve been so kind and warm to me and made me smile so much even if we don’t talk that often;; you always give me such kind feedback when you look at my work and it really foanwifeanwoe blows my ego into another dimension fanoweinaowienfao i love you so much angel!!! i hope you know that you’re an amazing and talented and funny and wonderful person! changbin is sending kisses !! (and so am i!!)

@wayvgf​: hi mara baby!!!!! :0 you are such a bright personality, whenever you’re excited ofiawneofai you’ll make like fawoniewi a bunch of posts back to back with 0 context and idk why that makes me laugh and feel so warm and happy- but the thought that someone who is so warm and bright exists really makes me so happy!!! you are literally the funniest and cutest person i’ve ever !! met !! you are so kind and warm and funny and idk man :(( you’ve just been very kind to me and listened to me rant abt some very dumb stuff faoiwnefoaiwne TT TT thank you for always dealing with that side of me, and for being so kind to me;; i know i always say this but : your nose is… really… afwioenaofiawoifwa the pinnacle of noses ok. u r s o cute :( and whenever i’m like “I LOVE MARA DOT ORG” i mean it !!! i love you SO much!!!!!!!!!!! you are such a fantastic, funny, hard working person and i love you SO much bb !!!!! hyunjin also loves u but :/  i love u mos t.

[yiulee999]

Hey! What do you think of OPM season 2? I still love it & am looking forward to next weeks new episode but i just wish Saitama had more screen time ;-(

hey nonny~! 

apologies for the late reply, its a combo of not getting notifications (tumblr u useless trashbucket) and being on surgery rotation (i miss sleeping so much) 

firstly, i am truly glad you still love it and look forward to the new episodes!!! 💖💖💖please dont let anything i say from this point on dissuade you from that enjoyment 

THAT BEING SAID 

///cut for length 

ive only watched up to the second episode, and i am having Such Difficulties convincing myself to keep watching. i know my rxns to ep 1 were overall pretty positive and I stand by it but the more i watch the more the Cringe/Hypercritique starts take over. 

Turns out, the art style had a bigger impact than i thought on the length of which i enjoy shows. personally, i just really like when anime/shows have a happy marriage between writing and artwork. and when show directors know how to interpret writing, how to set up a scene (the angle, the music, the pacing), and then communicate with artists who have the skills to bring that idea to life using the medium they’re given -- that’s when writing becomes storytelling. OPM’s writing is still fantastic since they’re going off ONE (whereas GoT has the opposite problem where the production value is 4K and the writing is early 2000s livejournal/fanfiction lol god why is everyone dropping the ball in 2019??)

As for the art, since opm switched to jc staff and shingo natsume & co. left for other projects ( ;;_____;; im emo ), its inevitable we would see a drop in animation quality and i find myself constantly getting distracted by things i never used to get concerned about in the first season (bc of the high bar of expectations set by s1 artists/directors, like theres just no way jc staff would match up it to all of that and i feel bad for them, they’re trying their best but that doesn’t mean theyre immune to critique on the artistic liberties that they’ve taken that i feel as a viewer, may not have been the best choice?) 

the shading: no, just, unnecessary and distracting and why is it the center of saitamas face, im by far no expert in lighting but a bish can tell something doesnt look right??? 

the shading pt II: color choices. just gonna say i was not expecting sai’s ‘hair shirt’ in ep 1 to be bright-ass neon green, it was a little jarring at first and i miss him in red ;-; i get hes supposed to have poor fashion choices but i dont see him as the type to pick something that stands out so much in the crowd, like he likes to be left alone. NEON doesnt really relay ‘hi dont mind me im just barely existing here lol’ 

the shading pt III: genos arms/neck. okaY so the bby looks good in screenshots. like he’s shiny and nice to look at when nothings moving. bUT this is animation?? movement of objections is different from still life manga so making every single scene almost 99% like murata’s panels translates a little awkwardly to the screen (like staff is lucky bc murata’s a force of nature with his panels playing out like a movie for ref). but when genos moves, the arms are just distracting bc everything around him is drawn simply without shadows so they stand out by themselves and i (visually) forget about the rest of him haha. 

the pacing: it feels scripted, person A says this so we’ll show person A in the shot, then person B is saying something so we have to cut to person B, etc etc like keeping pretty steady to manga lines to the point where i was starting to get bored bc i knew what was coming. it was really intervaled? like someone had to be saying something at a certain effect and i think s1 had more dramatic pauses (lol) but thats how you can place emphasis on scenes to have an emotional impact if the character doesnt say anything and just let the soundtrack do some talking and the cadence of the script will change too (im 10000% talking about the sunset scene in s1 god bless. like it was slow, there was MOOD there wasn’t any rush and really gave the viewer time to think about the relationship between the two characters and what that moment meant to each of them) i feel like there were several scenes that could have been more like in the scene where sai protected fubuki, could have been a little more dramatically emphasized (aka just a pause) so the viewer could get a chance to understand that he purprosefully shielded her or when genos says that strong heroes are drawn to saitama--bUT nope its the same pace, like c l o c k w o r k just like my t eARS--

the fight scenes: how do i even start. the one scene that got me INTO opm (like watching the anime, reading the manga, drawing fanart, writing fanfic, reading fanfics etc) was kickstarted by the fight scene between genos and saitama in s1 that was circulating on tumblr a while back. i thought the characters were interesting and the fight was badass and it just looked SO COOL. (also the forehead flick at the end just kinda sealed my fate). going from that to s2 fight scenes where its mostly cut scenes and freeze scenes?? where theres a cut out behind the characters back?? during a fight scene????? this isn’t a calling card or an anime opening??? i dont understand. when they dont do cut scenes, its interesting but my initial impression is just underwhelmed. i can find good parts but it feels like i have to replay the scene to notice it? theres also an overwhelming amount of graphics/cgi manipulation that overpowers the actual art sometimes. its lacking some of the fluidity that comes from hand drawn fight scenes from first season. OTL

the sound directing: so i thought that the mood just felt off for certain scenes and the sound didn’t seem to support the scene as well (unless it was like the character’s theme or smtg) and i looked it up and the sound director was also replaced (Yoshikazu Iwanami replacing Shoji Hata). i have no idea if the sound director is also in charge of character lines but there were parts were fubuki was monologuing and i had no idea she was inner monologuing, i thought she was talking out loud and that just took extra effort on my part to re-orient myself (im nitpitcking i know but its just how i watch shows lol) 

there are still some parts i like about the animation:

fubuki looks bangin and i love her👌👗

all of this just made me realize how insanely lucky we were to have an amazing s1 and just have it exist and how i really could not care less if they had just waited forever to make s2 as long as we had the same crew come back. but anime is still a business and the quicker they dish out merch/seasons, the more money they can bring in. which they do in the short run but they would bring in more if they spent a little more on quality in the long run and it becomes one of those classics that ppl will rewatch and keep recommending to ppl who want to get into anime and oh my god we’re never gonna have that now, are we. if im gonna rec it to a friend its gonna be ‘read the manga!’ or ‘just watch s1!’ uGH. its just an unfortunate situation, its not one person’s fault either, so many factors go into what made opm s1 so spectacular and seeing s2 just made me appreciate s1 more. i guess im happy to have a s2 regardless? 

i’ll still watch to support (and bc i like suiryuu and wanna see sai in a karate gi and wig lol). maybe i just have to get used to the new style. 

so in summary,

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

hi there, i was wondering if you help me type myself. i used to type as a enfp, but i retook the the test like a couple months ago and tried to be more realistic ab myself and i got entp. that was sufficient enough for me but i tend to hyper-fixate on concepts that intrigue me bc i wanna know all ab it and stuff. i took another test from the personality hacker (the others were 16personalities) and i got intj consistently 1/5

im a perfectionist and when i have a vision for a project, i have the work ethic to execute it details and all. when i plan something i have one overarching plan then several contingency plans for that plan then alternatives to those plans. my therapist says i live too much in the future, i don’t appreciate what i have today bc i’m too busy planning tomorrow, that i don’t accept things for what they are bc i’m pondering what they could/should be or i think too deeply ab superficial stuff 2/5

i get hunches all the time, like i took one look at my friend and knew that he had just lost his virginity bc he acted diff from his norm. the answer could’ve been anything but ik it was sex (i was right). surprising me is difficult bc i usually get hunches that something is up. i over analyze everything and i cannot take things at face value. rules have to be logical for me otherwise i’ll critique them. i don’t like authority but like to always be in control (???) 3/5

i don’t like expressing my feelings and prefer to suppress them and deal with them on my own. at the same time i’m usually the shoulder my friends cry on and i’m pretty nurturing. i’m charismatic and good at reading nonverbal cues. i’m pretty friendly and warm and ppl generally like me but i don’t think this is my real personality (think customer service) and when i’m in social mode too long, i need to be alone otherwise i get irritable. ppl often are surprised by how quiet and serious i am 4/5i think ppl can be a lil too emotional, esp in work or debates. i don’t like conflicts but i love to argue. sometimes i wish ppl could disconnect from their feelings as easily as I can. i’m pretty blunt but i believe in tact. i often feel a lotta things to be common sense and when i express this ppl are usually shocked. ppl frustrate me when they aren’t efficient, try to boss me around, refuse to argue their beliefs, are illogical. when i loop, i isolate myself and stay in my head. 5/5

------------------

Hi anon,

I am leaning towards ENTP.

Part 1: tests suck and honestly if someone doesn’t get INTJ on a free MBTI test I start to wonder what their deal is. Literally everyone gets INTJ. It’s bullshit.

Part 2: having a plan and living too much in the future without focusing on what you have now are most commonly associated with high Ni, but Ni is also not in my experience as good at contingencies. I would rule out high Se, but either high Si (planning and contingencies) or high Ne would be possible. Your writing style reminds me more of Si-Ne users and particularly high Ne users as does the statement of thinking very deeply about superficial stuff, so I’m putting a pin in that for now.

Part 3: most people get hunches - I’ve had some seriously strong (and correct) ones in my life and my intuition is last, because those hunches require an understanding of changed sensory signs typically (eg: weird behavior triggers the idea that something is up and then you can reason your way through what might be going on). However, frequently trusting hunches without waiting for confirmation is more consistent with intuition.

For the part regarding rules this is a case where examples are absolutely crucial. I spend a lot of my time at work arguing with high Ti users, for example, and both of us firmly feel we’re being the logical and efficient one, so it’s hard to do any typing with out understanding. Not liking authority but liking being in control sounds more like it could come from enneagram, but also it would be consistent with either ENFP or ENTP.

Part 4: Being private emotionally is also somewhat dependent on other factors - both Ne-dom types actually can be very private emotionally in my experience, which is where I’m leaning at this point. I think it’s also worth looking into what sort of balance you need regarding people; I don’t typically find Ne-aux types to be super nurturing, and everyone needs some time alone so it’s worth considering that part outside of MBTI; plenty of extroverts under the MBTI system are fairly close to the middle when it comes to actual alone time requirements.

Part 5: Not liking conflict but liking to argue is often a hallmark of high Ti, and again, it’s really important to understand what people mean by efficiency. For example: Te users are perfectly happy to brute force a solution if it’s an urgent problem/one-time issue, because in their mind, the efficient thing is to get it done when it’s needed and a little busywork is fine as it saves a lot of time designing the perfect system. Ti users don’t think this way typically; they see most brute force solutions as inherently inefficient because they can’t be reused. (apologies for some of my notes on high Ti; today was a particularly difficult Te vs. Ti argument day at work)

With regards to looping: if you don’t have a confident typing of your baseline, I really do not believe it’s possible to reliably type what your loop behavior is. Which isn’t to say that you’re wrong about your stress behavior - withdrawing and overanalyzing is very common stress behavior and I would say it’s extremely likely and understandable in fact for an ENTP under stress - it’s just not a loop in the very narrow MBTI definition.

[reddie-to-go]

Extra Credit (Part 9)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 5.5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10

Little bit of a warning. From here on out, this story is going to be getting more explicit so sorry if you’re not a big fan of that.

The first thing Richie did after he had another drink was find Stan and ‘apologize’. Which basically just consisted of Richie following him around and bugging him until he eventually started talking again. By the time Richie had successfully bothered Stan into talking, he was about four or five drinks in and was pretty sure Stan had only given in because he didn’t want a drunk Richie following him around and telling him not to be salty.

At around twelve, Richie drunkenly said bye to Bev and Ben and with the help of Stan made it back to Stan’s car.  

“God Rich, you’re like a giant two year old.” Stan ground out, pushing on Richie’s head to maneuver him into the passenger seat. Once Richie was actually in the seat, Stan headed back into the building to grab his and Richie’s jackets and properly say goodbye to everyone.

Richie had tried to follow him but Stan had locked the door and in his drunken state Richie couldn’t figure out how to get it unlocked. Eventually he gave up on trying to pry the latch open and dug in his pockets for his phone.

He had three new messages, two from Eddie, and one from Bev. The one from Bev was from less than a minute ago so Richie opened that one.

Beverly Hills: Don’t text ‘you know who’ around Stan and don’t do anything stupid tonight.

Richie scoffed down at his phone. What was she talking about, he never did anything stupid. With that thought in mind, Richie left the conversation with Bev and opened the new messages he had gotten from Eddie though out the night. Both had been from about an hour ago.

Little one: Studying is so boring.

Little one: Text me when you get home.

Richie smiled down at his phone. Bev had told him not to text Eddie when Stan was around, and Stan was currently nowhere in sight as he typed out a message.

‘Just headinig home now’

Richie turned from his phone when the driver’s side door was pulled open. He locked his phone just as a jacket come flying at his face.

 ~~~

Richie woke up tangled in his bedsheets, a pillow thrown over his face, and a massive headache. He slowly sat up in bed and squinted at the light that came in through the window beside his bed. His blanket slid down his arms as he shifted but he immediately grabbed the blanket again and wrapped it around his shoulders when the cold morning air hit his bare chest. Sometime before he had fallen asleep he has changed into his pajama bottoms. He took a minute to take in his surroundings.

His bed was a complete mess, with half of his comforter on the floor and pillows thrown everywhere. A half empty bottle of water was on his bedside table. He reached over and chugged what was left as he looked around for his phone.

He eventually found it under one of his pillows but when he went to turn it on the dead battery sign popped up.

“Fucking great.” He mumbled as he leaned over the side of his bed to grab the phone charger. He plugged in the phone and then stood from the bed, keeping the blanket wrapped around himself as he made his way into the kitchen. Coffee on mornings after a lot of drinking were one of Richie’s favorite hangover cures.

When he got to the cupboard where he normally kept the instant coffee, he reached up and grabbed the box.

“Come fucking on.” Richie dropped the empty box on the counter and stomped over to his closet. Grabbing a pullover hoodie, his wallet, glasses, and keys to his house, Richie left his place and headed for the coffee shop across from his building.

The few strange looks he got as he crossed the street were a lot less then he was expecting to get with the way he looked.

As if Ninja turtle’s pajamas and an old hoodie with ‘your mom’ printed on the front in fancy handwriting wasn’t quite enough. Richie caught a glimpse of himself in a parked car window and his already naturally messy hair was a complete disaster. All he was missing was a bright pair of crocks and Richie was pretty sure he would make it on the cover of ‘People of Walmart’ easily.

The barista gave in a slightly confused look before going back to the weirdly cheery persona that all people that served coffee seemed to be required to have.

With a large coffee and a chocolate muffin in hand, Richie crossed the street back to his building. He had spent enough time looking like the neighborhood crazy person for one day.

Once he was back at his place, he headed straight back to his bed to curl up and try not to slowly die. It took him about twenty minutes to finish his breakfast and start to feel like an actual human again. After he took his last sip of coffee he reached over and grabbed his phone, holding the button and waiting for it to turn on.

It was then that Richie got the first snip bit of memory from the night before.

He had been talking to Eddie right?

Oh god. what had he said to Eddie that night.

As soon as the phone booted up, Richie immediately went into his messages to assess the damages. To his surprise, he hadn’t actually said anything that bad, though text at least. The only text that he had sent that alarmed him was one that he had sent at around one that said 

‘Im goin calll you’

Richie opened the phone app and wanted to throw his phone and then himself out the window.

He facetimed Eddie at one in the morning…for almost an hour… and he didn’t remember anything he had said or done during it.

Putting the small heart attack that he was currently going through on pause, Richie opened the other concerning app. He had two unopened snaps. One from Bev and one from Eddie.

A little nervous to see what Eddie had sent, Richie opened Bev’s first. it was a picture of Bev’s open fridge. ‘look what you did…” Was typed out across the top.

It took Richie a second to see what was wrong and he laughed when he realized what she was talking about. Everything in the fridge had been flipped upside down. various jars and containers were carefully balanced and it seemed Richie had flipped everything.

He took a picture of himself with his hand covering half his face and said that he would come over later and fix it.

With nothing else to procrastinate with, Richie clicked on Eddie’s name and watched the picture pop up. it was from 2:50 and it was a selfie of Eddie lying in bed. He looked like he was spread out across the bed and with the ample amount of neck and chest exposed, it was a pretty safe bet to make that he was at least shirtless. The smile that stretched out on his face made Richie smile too, until he read the text at the bottom of the picture

“Well that was fun, but you need to go to sleep.”

Oh no.

Well that was probably one of the worst messages Richie could have gotten while trying to see if he had done anything stupid the night before, and it wasn’t that doing stuff with Eddie was particularly stupid (Not to him at least.) but doing stuff drunk and not remembering was.

There was no way he could just text Eddie and ask, that would be extremely embarrassing. And what if it hurt Eddie’s feelings.

Fuck he was an idiot.

After about an hour of pacing and trying to remember what had happened, Richie gave up and decided to try and get some actual work done. He changed into jeans and a less offensive hoodie and left for the university.

It took a little bit but eventually, Richie lost himself in reading students writing. The distraction from his weird love life. Love life? Or would it be sex life? Whatever it was, the distraction was nice and Richie worked for about an hour before getting a snap from the thing he was trying to be distracted from.

He wanted to see what the younger boy had sent but also didn’t. His natural curiosity won out and he opened the snap after taking a second to prepare for any embarrassment that was coming.

It was a selfie of Eddie sitting in a café, Richie was pretty sure it was the place Bill worked but he wasn’t certain. Eddie looked extremely cute that day, but Richie was starting to think that cute was just a permanent state Eddie seemed to stay in.

Eddie had written ‘So bored’ around his face in impressively neat loopy writing for something done on Snapchat.

Richie swiped left on Eddie’s name and opened up their chat history. He cringed when he scrolled up and saw how many snaps had been sent between the two that he had completely no memory of.

The little Eddie bitmoji popped up in the bottom corner, signaling that Eddie was currently looking at the chat, probably waiting for Richie to say something. Not wanting to make it weird, Richie typed out the first thing that came to mind.

‘studying?’

It wasn’t really all that exciting or smooth but Eddie started typing right away so Richie figured it was good enough.

‘Yep. Bill’s working and I already went for my morning run, what are you up to?’

Hmm, Richie didn’t know that Eddie went for runs. But he guessed there was a lot that he didn’t know about the other.

‘Marking papers, real exciting stuff.’

‘Want me to come make it more exciting?’

Richie laughed down at his phone. So whatever he had done last night hadn’t been bad enough that Eddie wanted to call this whole thing off, that was a good start.

‘I don’t know, its pretty boring. And I’ve told you before that it’s hard to get stuff done when you’re around.’

‘Well technically I am your TA this semester so shouldn’t we get used to working together?’

Well he had him there. He thought about it for a few seconds. Eddie was right, if he was going to be helping him mark stuff then they actually did have to work together, unless Richie wanted to be one of those professors that dumps all the marking on the TA and expects them to do everything and that wasn’t really his style.

‘Okay. A318 but if you come here we’re actually working!’

Eddie didn’t send anything back and after waiting a few minutes Richie closed down Snapchat and went back to marking. If Eddie actually showed up he would deal with everything then.

It was another ten minutes until Richie heard the quiet knock on his door. He jumped out of his desk chair and definitely didn’t run over to the door to open it.

Eddie stood on the other side when he pulled the door open, looking as cute as he had in his selfie.

“Well hello there sir, reporting for duty.” Eddie said jokingly, giving a little salute as he stepped closer towards Richie.

Richie moved his hand up to touch him but stopped when he realized that some one could walk down the hallway and see them. Instead he stepped backwards and to the side, gesturing for Eddie to come in. He did and Richie closed the door behind him.

“So this is your office, huh” Eddie was facing away from him at the moment but Richie was pretty sure he was doing that smirk that he did sometimes.

“Yep.” Richie stepped up behind him and put his hand on Eddie’s waist. He reached his other hand past Eddie to the desk and grabbed a small stack of papers.

“And here.” He lightly pushed on Eddie’s side. Eddie easily moved where he was being maneuvered and let his legs give out when the seat of a chair hit his legs. Richie put the papers down in front of him and pressed a light kiss to the side of Eddie’s neck. “Is where you can work.”

Eddie turned and looked up at Richie, confusion mixed with a hint of annoyance passes his face.

“Just highlight, what the student said was the main idea and any other part that you find interesting.” Richie instructed as he rounded the desk and sat back down in his chair. Eddie was still staring over at him, as Richie grabbed a highlighter from his desk and placed it in front of Eddie, laughing. “I told you, if you’re coming up here, we’re working.”

“Yeah I just figured we could do some other stuff before getting to the actual work part.” Eddie mumbled as he put the cap in his mouth and pulled it off of the highlighter.

“Or maybe we could talk about those rules, because you started to yesterday but got a little distracted.” Eddie continued a little louder. The smile on Richie face immediately dropped.

Well it wasn’t going to get any easier the longer he waited.

“Actually Eddie, about last night, um I don’t know if you noticed but I was kinda drunk.”

Eddie cut him off by letting out laugh. He quickly covered his mouth with his hand.

“Kinda?” He asked though his fingers. Richie rubbed at the back of his neck.

“Yeah. So maybe really drunk. And I don’t really remember what happened last night.” Richie got quieter as he spoke. He probably sounded so dumb. When he looked up Eddie had an amused look on his face, which really wasn’t what Richie had been expecting.

“So, you’re saying you don’t remember anything you did last night?” Eddie asked slowly, sliding forward out of his chair and dragging his fingers against the desk as he rounded it. Richie looked up at him as he came to a stop in front of him.

“You don’t remember any of the things you said to me?” He asked as he leaned down closer to Richie’s ear. Richie could feel his face heating up.

Oh God, there was so many things that he could have said, like the list was literally endless. Not knowing what to say, Richie simply nodded his head.

“Well, I could try to help remind you.” Eddie whispered into Richie’s ear, letting his lips lightly touch Richie’s neck, in almost the same place as Richie had earlier.

“Eddie…” Richie tried to sound authoritative, but the soft sound he made as Eddie kissed across his neck basically destroyed any hope of that.

Attempting to take back some kind of control of the situation, Richie raised his hand up to Eddie’s sides, pulling him closer by the fabric of his shirt.

Eddie took a step forward as he continued to kiss his way to Richie’s lips. When Eddie pressed their lips together, Richie used the grip he already had to pull him down onto his lap. The chair squeaked under them as Eddie settled on Richie’s legs.

Eddie moved his hands to hold Richie’s shoulders as he pressed his tongue against his bottom lip. Eddie hummed contently when Richie deepened the kiss by opening his mouth and basically letting Eddie do whatever he wanted.

While Eddie focused on Richie’s lips, Richie lowered his hands from Eddie’s sides to his outer thighs, shifting him closer so that their chests were touching. When Richie felt his dick press against Eddie’s he dropped his head and let out a quiet moan.

“Fuck Eddie.” Richie whispered, lowering his eye’s to look at Eddie’s lips which were kiss swollen and red. Richie watched as Eddie’s lips spread into a smile and suddenly Eddie was sitting in his lap laughing.

Richie stared up at the younger boy, completely dumbfounded. It was a solid minute before Eddie had stopped laughing enough to talk.

“Sorry, sorry. It’s just yesterday, you didn’t do anything bad. You called me at one and wanted to talk about some joke book you had when you were younger and then gave me a thirty-minute house tour of your one room apartment.” Eddie laughed from above Richie, who was staring up at him in complete embarrassment.

“So I didn’t try to send you dirty pictures or anything?” Richie asked.

“Nope, you just asked me to send you selfies and then you’d send back like, three messages about how cute I was.” Eddie smiled and quickly kissed Richie. “It was pretty funny.”

“Oh god, that’s almost worse. I’m so sorry.” Richie hid as much of his face behind his hand as he could.

“It’s fine, like I said, It was pretty funny.” Eddie laughed again as he stepped down from Richie’s lap. He walked back around the table and plopped down in the chair as Richie watched him confused. Eddie started laughing again when he saw Richie’s face.

“You said you wanted to work right?” He asked innocently, as if he hadn’t just been sitting in Richie’s lap.

Richie stared for a few seconds before huffing out a breath and shaking his head, a smile growing on his face.

“Yeah, I did. So you start on that pile and let me know if you need help with anything.” Richie grabbed another highlighter for himself and popped the top off as he looked up and saw Eddie smiling across the table at him before picking up the highlighter Richie had given him earlier and start underlining things on the paper in front of him.

Tag List

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EXTRA CREDIT TAG LIST (I’m so sorry if I missed anyone!)

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[ofcloudsandstars]

Hi! I'm new to the witchy scene and don't know where to start on anything tbh. It's hella overwhelming, esp bc I'm finding planetary stuff v interesting but also incredibly confusing. Any thoughts, suggestions, etc? Any blogs i should follow?? Favorote resources??? Idk. You seem v cool so i figured i would ask. My witchy sideblog is kosherkitchenwitch. 💜💜💜 (im on mobile 24/7 so sorry if you have that info somewhere and im being repetitive!!!)

I usually have a very long winded explanation for this question. Its just hard to write a very short answer because the topic itself describes several life styles and cultures and practices. To really get you started you have to be ok with journeying down a rabbit hole. (This answer by the way is it’s own rabbit hole so get comfortable lol). 

Witchcraft is a practice but it’s also very spiritual so it’s definitely one of those things that become a lifestyle and you are forever learning something new. Don’t feel too overwhelmed that it is forever going on cause like its something that expands with everyone’s unique experiences!

I honestly should write a book for beginner witches with tips and exercises but for now I will leave you with this: (Though it’s very long and I apologize, I want to give you something concise to research and start with so that you have someplace to begin instead of just short and concise answers since that still won’t give you a good enough foundation.)

Here’s the top 5 tips I will tell you:

1- Know these Basic Terms

2- Know Yourself

3- Know Your Roots

4- Know Your Local Nature

5- ResourcesBelow I will flesh these points out:

BASIC TERMS

Ok so if we start with point 1, people will always tell you READ READ READ! And honestly that isn’t great advice cause most popular witchcraft books are either written by European people in the 60s and they are outdated as hell or they are full of rigid concepts or appropriation. Like don’t waste your time or stifle yourself diving into the typical witchcraft books cause you might feel like you can only exist in this narrow idea of what magic is and you won’t learn most of your abilities out of an old Scott Cunningham book or god forbid a Silver Ravenwolf published monstrosity.

The books that you would REALLY need eventually are moreso Witchcraft 201 type of books when you are diving into the specifics of practices. This is like for example if you are getting more into herbalism/herbology and now you are investing into books like local herbs or medicinal plants, or now you are getting more into astrology so you are buying books about astrological movements, or books on tarot tips and symbolism, or books like the Crystal Bible for all the esoteric crystal info. But don’t worry about all those books YET cause you are STILL JUST starting out.

However the things you should know are these terms: (also I have given some brief descriptions but please look them up even further lol that is your homework).

MagicKind of too complex to narrow into a definition here but there is a force of the universe and everything that flows within it that can be manipulated by projecting energy outward into the universe. That manipulation is referred to as Magic.

WitchA magical practitioner that uses magic to manifest their goal. Witch does not describe every magical practitioner as there are many from different cultures, but witch tends to describe one that uses magic of nature and the universe in a “grey” way (neither specifically to do good or evil) to bring about their desires.

Wicca/WiccanWicca is a religion founded in the 60s in England. A wiccan is a follower of this religion. They are witches that practice magic from revived practices of pre-christian western europe that fall under the ‘pagan’ umbrella. Not all witches are wiccan though it’s something people get confused over. Popular cultural ideas that are wiccan is the worship of the green god and triple goddess, the wiccan rede, the wheel of the year and also the terms ‘Blessed Be’ or ‘So Mote it Be’.

WizardIn popular culture referred to as a male that practices magic YET that’s cause we live in a dumb gendered society because Witch is gender neutral, anyone can be a witch and wizards/wizardry actually refers to a specific magical practice that includes elements of alchemy and transformation. I like to think of wizardry as the blending of the scientific process and magic.

Closed CulturesMagic exists in every form of the globe and in every aspect of nature but many magical practices/spiritualities or religions that deal with spirits and magic are closed for very obvious reasons that no one should be offended over. For example practices like Shinto or Mugyo have to do with the LAND they are on. Like with Mugyo for example, you literally can not practice this if you are not in Korea cause it has to do with the land itself and the spirits that live on it and the ancestors of korean people. (Theres a blogger on here that’s been raising money for a long time to be able to travel to Korea to do this). In other practices like Hoodoo or Brujera, it was carved out of the oppression of people that lost their roots and reforged a connection to protect themselves and their community from white colonialism/slavery. Indigenous American practices have to do with bonds that animal spirits and ancestors have had with tribes for generations (and also the land they live on) that will lose its context once taken out of the tribe’s culture. I think stumbling upon closed culture territory is very avoidable if you stick to the nature local to you and your roots, plus there are a lot of open cultures to choose from (and the culture that mostly dominates modern western witchcraft which has celtic roots is open to all), but honestly all cultures come from (1) nature, (2) local spirits that you’ve bonded with and (3) your history so you can always build your own magical foundation that will be stronger with your own personal connections instead of seeking something in a closed group. It’s very common when you meet witches from a hereditary line that they have their own unique practice passed down from their family. A lot of witches I know tend to make their own practice outside of a cultural tradition. Some closed folk practices and religions that you might stumble across in America are:

HoodooAfrican American folk spirituality that helped the black diaspora subjected to slave trade and racism find their ancestral roots and protect their community. It uses root work that deals with the roots, dirt and spices they have access to. Though you might see a lot of magic practitioners interchange this term with witchcraft, it exists in it’s own culture and it’s own context outside of witchcraft. This form of magic is closed to nonblack magical practitioners.

VodouIs not interchangable with Hoodoo. Its a religion of Haiti that haitians used to connect with their ancestors and spirits that watch over them.

SanteriaA religion that uses magic and has catholic influences yet the catholic saints are more like guides that help them fulfill magic. They’ve adapted the catholic imagery due to colonialism forcing christianity onto their culture but it was a way to disguise their old gods. (Hoodoo also uses christian tools to disguise their magic).

BrujaA form of folkmagic that can be found in Latinx culture. Just like Hoodoo and EVERY. OTHER. FORM. of FOLKMAGIC culture (just emphasizing these points cause like people do get UPset when you talk about closed cultures when there’s no reason to be) it uses plants and spices that were accessible to the people, they elevate their ancestors with altars, and have their own practices like using eggs for cleansing spells or eggshell powder (cascarilla).

BrauchereiI am UNSURE if this is closed or not but this is a type of magic found in Pennsylvania and in Appalachia due to German settlers. They use the bible too as a conjure book along with diviner rods and magic symbols (like the Haagel). Some people refer to this as “Pow Wow” magic but I feel weird about that for obvious reasons but if you want to do more research on it you can find stuff underneath that term. It has a very Country Aesthetique™ and you might recognize it by the tradition of Hex Signs painted on Pennsylvanian barns or Barnstars as a goodluck charm.*As a personal note I would say almost all folk magic is closed cause like it comes from a specific land, culture and context so it might lose meaning outside of the context unless if you are welcomed within the community and find people to teach you their folk magic secrets. Anyway Magic is EVERYWHERE so this is in no way to discourage you but also its interesting and fun to learn about other magical cultures as long as you don’t try to claim it as your own.General Magic Terms:

Energy WorkRefers to exercises or magic that is purely energy based. Some magic likes to use candles or tools but energy work is just using the body and your own energy.

GroundingA way to center your energy within your body typically through focusing on the connection of your feet or roots into the earth. There are many ways to ground and many places in nature you can ground other than your bare feet on the earth. For example some witches like to do it while their feet is under the waves by the sea, or some witches like to do it on a breezy hill or in front of a lit candle. You just focus on the energy flowing through your body by the environment surrounding you and center this before going into a ritual or casting a spell. 

Chakras vs Energy PoolsChakras is a term taken from it’s cultural context and appropriated BUT the concept of Energy Pools is is A LOT of cultures and even creeping it’s way into science due to acupuncture and other therapeutic practices involving pressure points and energy pools being accepted into the mainstream. When doing energy work it’s good to be aware of the various energy pools in our body. (Its important to be familiar with the term Chakras since it’s still widely used so at least you will understand it’s meaning.)This can also be studied forever but I can try to write a brief blurb on it: The feet often obtain our lowest form of energy, the thighs can store emotional trauma and can hold our hidden emotions. The Pelvis is our root and connects us mostly to the physical world (when you do grounding work you can focus here as well as your feet if you feel you are drifting), the womb/bowels is where we have our passionate or lustful energy and that allows us to create. Our stomachs is our influence power and ego, our hearts is our compassion and empathy towards others. Our throats can help us communicate, our hands help us manifest, our third eye helps us with our intuition and dreams and our crown helps us be connected to the universe and receive messages from our guides. When you have physical ailments that are reoccuring in a part of the body you should think if maybe any emotional stress in those areas are contributing to physical sickness. I know the thighs might have more energetic abilities but I learned that they can store emotional trauma cause I used to feel a kind of stiff pain there when I was stressed and my friend who is training to be a yoga instructor told me that emotional trauma gets stored in the hips and thighs. She would give me yin yoga lessons for free to release that tension. Also if you feel you need to be more Compassionate, Confident, Vocal, you can focus on doing energy work in those corresponding areas of the body.

AstrologyThe study of planetary movements and how it effects our lives and the flow of things.

PlanetsKnow the planetary effects on yourself and society INCLUDING Chiron and mathematical points such as Lilith and the Ascendant

Star ChartThe positions of stars and planets when you were born and the strengths and qualities they’ve given you along with karmic lessons you must overcome. Look up your star chart here.

Moon CyclesThe phases of the moon have power to them too. Full is a great time to release energy and manifest things where as new is a great time to begin new plans and cleanse. The moon rules our emotional body and each sign it has a new or full moon in has a lesson for us.

Zodiac Signs and their ElementsEach zodiac sign has a sort of attribute to it. The way we think of the Four Elements as a type of quality, the 12 signs have their own unique qualities as well. Just familiarize yourself with them as best you can and their element. This will come in handy later when you are more familiar with the signs and will understand what it means when certain planets are transiting signs. (Meaning when planets are crossing over a zodiac sign in the sky).

ElementsThe Four elements Earth, Water, Air and Fire are like a quaternic attribute that can be applied to anything. Earth rules the solid form, The physical body and can be thought of as having qualities of structure and providing. Water rules the liquid form, the emotional body and can be thought of as having qualities of nurturing and cleansing. Air rules the gas form, the mind and can be thought of as having qualities of change, innovation and inspiration. Fire rules the energy form, the spirit and can be thought of as creative or explosive. You can apply these qualities to almost any thing such as: Carnelian the stone is Fiery because it possesses qualities of bursts of inspiration and motivation and sometimes sexuality. The Dandelion is very airy because it can spread far due to it’s seeds and its a poofy tuft. I also think the quaternity of the elements adds more flexibility in assigning attributes to things where as the binary is very black and white and I find it confining. (Also reinforcing gender stereotypes but we will get to that later). This quaternity will pop up in many places in your magical research, from the zodiac elements, to the tarot card suits. 

Sun cyclesAs the moon has cycles so does the sun. The sun changes the zodiac sign like once a month and these periods of times are usually referred to {zodiac} season for example: ‘Sagittarius Season’ or 'Capricorn Season’ when the sun has lined up with the Sagittarius or Capricorn constellation in our sky. These moments of time also have lessons for us.

SabbatsThe Sabbats are witch holidays that derived from western europe that were revived in the wiccan religion that have to do with the earth and sun’s position throughout the year. Witches celebrate Spring and Autumn equinox and the winter and Summer Solstice. There are also crossquarters for points in between this time like Halloween/Samhain on Oct 31st/Nov 1, Beltane or May Day on May 1, Imbolc on Feb 1st and Lughnasadth on August 1st.  

Wheel of the YearThe name for the cycle of sabbats. You can search the tumblr tag to learn a little more on it!

Agrarian CyclesEvery region has their own unique seasonal change and foods and living beings local to their environment. The Wheel of the Year does have Celtic western European roots but you can take the concept of celebrating nature and the seasons and make it secular and apply it to any region and put your own cultural roots into it. Just research your local land and your local farmers almanac and you can get started. Here are a few wheels and concepts taken from other cultures and regions (1)(2).

Bioregional AnimismThis is a fancy term meaning that local nature has it’s own spirit. You should be familiar with your local “magical terroir”. Being connected with nature is important for a witch as nature is where magic can be found. The body itself is a magical conductor but for a witch that does not have a connection to nature, using the body’s energy without any recharging can be draining. Most books on magic are very eurocentric based which does not help magical practitioners or witches that live in other climates that are not four seasonal or temperate. Also there are unique spirits and plants to each environment that can help you with your magic. I will link a post on this later. 

SpiritsEntities that are noncorporeal that exist everywhere. Some live on this plane, some live solely on the astral. I feel like dealing with spirits is a Witchy 201 issue so I won’t dive in it here but know that almost everything has a spirit (disclaimer: I am an animist so I believe everything- especially everything living has a spirit), and the more you form friendships with entities like trees, plants, animals and your guides you will gain a stronger practice. I believe for a witchling its best to try to befriend or get to know the spirits of things you can see like local trees, animals, stones etc. Don’t mess with ghosts or astral entities yet haha. (Until you know how to ward and banish)

Spirit GuidesWe all have spirit guides. Whether it be our ancestors looking out for us or some spirits that genuinely like us and want to help us out. You can form a relationship with them to help you succeed in your goals.

Astral PlaneI might not be the best person to define this (your witchy homework is to further do research on all these vocab words I’ve put on here so far lol) but the astral plane is the realm beyond this physical one where dreams, thoughts, spirits all coincide. I think its kind of like a world in between worlds cause you can travel to other worlds within it. You can access it through dreams, trancing, guided meditation or astral projection (when your spirit leaves your body). Other spirits may not be friendly so it’s wise to protect yourself before trying to travel.

Astral ProjectionWhen you project your spirit from your physical body to travel.

Wardinga form of energy work to create a boundary so something won’t cross into your space. It’s like a magical security field. 

BanishingTo get rid of an entity or toxic person in your life. It’s seen as a form of cursing since its a long term spell that’s not to the target’s benefit. 

Hexing/Jinxing/CursingThere are multiple definitions for these but I define jinx as a quick kind of malicious energy put on someone to cause them bad luck. Like putting energy towards someone to wish they bust their ass going down the stairs and they do. A hex is more aggressive and usually pretty specific since a jinx is just general bad luck. A hex is usually more thought out and you want a specific outcome to happen yet its just general misfortune instead of any real physical harm. A Curse is the most long term and often is difficult to be free of until it’s over. Some curses last lifetimes or can even become generational. Usually you are forever barred from doing something or it reveals something about you to damage your reputation. A curse is often the most damaging out of the three. In Wicca there is the wiccan rede that forbids any negative spell casting but that’s only a rule for wiccans. 

BlessingA form of positive spellwork to be casted upon someone. Opposite of hexing obviously lol.

SigilsI believe this has some long history with summoning entities but it’s now usually used to refer to magical symbols a witch can create to store energy or influence something with energy. For example you can carve a sigil in a candle to infuse the candle with a certain energy or put a sigil in your coffee with the creamer or paint a sigil on your nails for glamour magic. You should just search the tumblr tag for sigil.

Use of Masculine and Feminine EnergyUpon your witchy research you will find this binary to describe energy and I personally find it archaic but you should understand the difference despite my personal opinions. Since most are agreeing that referring to something active/fast/powerful is masculine and something passive/slow/nurturing is feminine is problematic, they are now rebranding the binary as “active” and “passive” but in my magical experience I find that active and passive are not great ways to think of energy because its more of a spectrum than a binary. Anything can be active, passive or neutralizing. Fire can be passive when it’s used as lighting to see. Earth can be active when it’s shaking the ground during a quake to form new surfaces. Water can be active when it’s changing topsoil and causing mudslides and floods. Air can be passive when it’s a gentle draft being pushed through a vent. I’d suggest thinking of this type of energy as a spectrum but also its good to know about this too.

The Use of X Witch/WitchcraftYou will definitely find upon your witchy research the use of 'Fire Witch’ or 'Kitchen Witch’ or 'Sea Witchcraft’ or 'Desert Witchcraft’ and to put it simply: Someone who calls them self an X witch basically is defining most of their craft around one aspect that they gravitate the most to wield magic. A LOT of witches however won’t use this because most witches have many aspects of magic they use in their craft so it’s hard to define themselves simply as X witch. However the easiest label most witches like to use deal with the local nature because your local nature usually always defines your magic in someway whether or not you are a City Witch, a Sea Witch, a Desert Witch, Swamp Witch, Mountain Witch, Farm Witch, Prairie Witch, Island Witch etc etc. Usually someone who really sticks to a label of X witch that’s not nature orientated really has a joy of that craft and on a platform like tumblr it’s used to find other witches that practice that. (Don’t feel pressured to pick a label) Other than labels you might find terms like Candle Witchcraft, Tech Witchcraft and Kitchen Witchcraft and those are just categories of witchcraft that have to do with those specific subjects. I sometimes refer to myself as a Cottage Witch (witchcraft that has to do with the home) and a lot of my magic deals with daily rituals at home! 

Cottage Witchcraft/WitchMagic that has to do with the home, protecting the home, cleansing, the garden, the kitchen, the bedroom, the bathroom. It’s essentially kitchen/bath/green witchcraft all combined.

Kitchen MagicMagic that has to do specifically with cooking, using herbs in oils and recipes for magical outcomes, recipes as spells. Charming hot cocoa, magical teas.

Bath Magic/ Bath WitchMagic that has to do with the ritual of bathing. Face masks, bath bombs, home made soaps as spells, cleansing the body, infusing scents with intent. Wearing scented creams, lotions, perfumes as spells.

Glamoursa type of illusion magic to influence others to perceive you a certain way. (examples: making yourself invisible to others by spells that make you less noticeable, or making yourself more alluring to grab needed attention, or making yourself more intimidating to avoid confrontation). Glamour magic kind of goes hand in hand with bath magic too.  

Green Witch/WitchcraftMagic that has to do with nature and gardening and herbs. Plants are our allies and have spirits that are willing to help us if we nurture them.

HerbologyThe study of plants and their properties

Hedge WitchcraftA form of magical practice that deals with working with spirits and traveling to other worlds for spirit work.

DivinationThe practice of fortune telling. There are MANY different ways to divine which are listed below:

Dream OraclingInterpreting your dreams based on your personal omens and experiences to do shadow work or to interpret omens that might signal something for your future.

Shadow Work (not divination- I’d categorize this as energy work- but I’m putting it here since I mentioned it)The practice of self reflection that’s often followed by meditation or sometimes coinciding with practices of dream oracling, tarot reading or trancing to delve deep within oneself to undo traumas and understand the “shadow” side of our self or our ego.

CartomancyDivination that has to do with reading cards. You can use regular 4 suit playing cards as many card readers do.

TarotThe most used card deck to divine with. There are 5 suits in a tarot deck. The Major arcana are cards in it’s own suit with a stronger symbolic meaning and the minor arcana are suits like hearts, spades etc (But instead cups-water, coins-earth, wands-fire and swords-air assigned an element) that tell an evolutionary story. There are a lot of simple tarot spreads on tumblr to help you get started if you wish to read tarot cards. Tarot tends to give very introspective answers.

LenormandA french style of divining cards using mostly archetypes instead of suits (though some cards are assigned a suit but its kind of irrelevant to the reading).

Oracle DecksCards that only have symbols and no suits. Each oracle deck is very unique from the next! I enjoy using oracle decks for one card draws for daily advice.

PalmistryThe divining technique of using palms to read someone’s qualities and obstacles in life.

RunesI will define them here as the divining practice of using small trinkets, or painted stones with symbols on them to toss and read your future. Some practitioners use bones, some use crystals, some use acorns, some use stones that are painted or carved. One set of runes you will see a lot are the Elder Futhark which is scandinavian (sorry I don’t know exactly from where) symbols that are carved in crystals or stones and read by tossing them.

NumerologyMagical Numbers. Each number has a power to it. You can find your life path number here. Also if you get drawn into the rabbit hole of numerology you should also look up Sacred Geometry. 

TasseomancyDivination of reading tea leaves.Other Divination Forms that you can refer to by with less fancy names like Bone reading and flame reading (like with candles), scrying (looking for symbols in mirrors or crystal balls), shufflemancy (music and tech can be used as divination too!)

Tools:

PendulumA weight (usually a crystal or coin) used at the end of a string that’s used to find answers on a grid. (Usually if it swings vertically it means yes and horizontally means no but look up pendulum on the tumblr tag you will find a lot of wonderful examples). 

Smoke CleansingEither using incense, a bundle of dried herbs or a twig of a tree or herb to burn to cleanse the air. Rosemary is great for warding along with lemongrass, sage and dragonsblood.Also FYI Some appropriating witches might refer to this as “Smudging” But Smudging is a specific practice of offering smoke to guides of a tribe in indigenous American cultures and it would be bastardizing the practice by referring to any form of smoke cleansing as smudging.

CrystalsSome crystals do have an electrical charge due to their crystaline structure. I am unsure of the specifics and I’ve already wrote too much lol but its a subtle and gentle force many magic practitioners like to use to create energy fields for rituals. They are often used as energy amplifiers and some crystals tend to have different energy than others. (For example lepidolite can help amplify the energy of healing and self love where as fire agate can help amplify the energy of motivation and starting new things).

CauldronUsed for burning loose herbs or cooking things. Large pewter cauldrons tend to be wild expensive so I haven’t seen a lot of witches use them. I typically see smaller ones to burn herbs in. Its a great tool to use in spell crafting when you toss ingredients in a spell to bubble and burn in.

Mortar and PestleTools to help crush herbs and roots into powder

BesomsBroomsticks made from certain twigs that can help cleanse the home with symbolic sweeping. The idea of witches riding on brooms come from a time where witches would put flying ointments made of mandrake or datura on the end of the broom and “ride” them by grinding their genitals on it therefore absorbing the ointment and “tripping” to another plane. Its a way of also acheiving astral projection and “flying” in on others to spy on them or completing tasks on other realms. This is like.. Witchcraft 301 its kind of dangerous please don’t try at home lol.

WandsA tool used to direct energy. If the body is its own source of energy and can conduct energy, the wand helps to focus it’s direction. Most wands have crystals or magical items fused onto it.

CharmA magical item charged with energy to have a purpose. For example a lucky necklace can become a charge if it is charged with the energy to bring luck or prosperity. Charms (unless they are made with a crystal or magical metal) tend to not have their own energetic charge so they constantly need to be recharged by the witch when the energy runs out. 

AltarA space to work magic. A witch can have many altars. It really doesn’t need to be fancy. Some witches use their altars to put all of their tools and often the surface is like a grid of their crystals. Some make an altar to an entity or their ancestors and the things they put on it are very specific in order to devote the offering to their ancestor or entity. Some use an altar as a workspace. When I have my own place I will do all three. I have my bedroom altar which the surface is a space I work magic on but the bottom is where I keep my books and crystals. The bathroom and kitchen will have more messy spell crafting altar space where I concoct bath potions or food and the living room will be a very clean and organized altar dedicated to spirit guides. What all altars have in common is that they are sacred spaces so even if its a messy magic working space you still can’t dump whatever on it. Also some altars can be spacious where as some can be inside of an altoid tin box. Some altars can be inside of closets and some can be sprawled across a ground. Some can be set up just for a ritual and some can be forever apart of the living room space. They all just have in common that they are sacred magic spaces.

Ouija BoardA way to contact spirits that are currently around you in your space. The thing is that it doesn’t have a great filter so it’s like Chat Roulette but for spirits and you can get any creep coming in to harass you.

GrimoireBook of a witch where they keep all of their spells, remedies, techniques and magical secrets within.

Animal FamiliarSo I believe (though not sure) that familiars refer to 'familiar spirits’ or spirits that are companions to witches and help them complete tasks. In modern witch media this has been mixed up with the idea of witch’s animal companion. Regardless of the roots of the meaning (I have my own research to do lol!) you should know what a familiar means and that in most cases people will use it to refer to their animal companion though I have seen it in a few contexts to refer to a spirit companion.

Sorry this list is super Extensive but think of this as your Witchcraft 101 homework haha. Witchcraft is something used across many cultures for a long time so there’s a lot to know.

I am unsure if I should elaborate this much on the other points, but knowing me I will haha. Hopefully I can find other posts I’ve written about it to save this from becoming a novel but I will try to keep it brief!

Anyway the next three points is where the magical practice comes in!

2.Know Yourself

You are a magical conductor and have your own unique magic. Every witch is unique. Things that will help you bring out your own magic is knowing yourself and what brings out the best energy in you. You can learn about your magical self by learning about your star chart, your zodiac signs and elements, your life path number and of course your passions or hobbies! You can infuse magic into any practice you can be creative in. If you enjoy cooking there is kitchen witchcraft. If you enjoy make-up there are glamours, if you enjoy singing there is intoning and musical magic. If you don’t like making music but listening there is shufflemancy. If you like sleeping there is dream oracling. No matter how obscure your preferences are you can make magic from it. Even if you spend all day obsessing over fanfiction or fictional characters you can create your own pop culture magic path (I saw a post here once with someone making sailor moon magic a thing it was very cool), even if you just like blogging and putting aesthetics together you can make vision boards on pinterest. The best advice to this 2nd point is GET A MAGIC JOURNAL. Not a grimoire but Journal where you can be messy and just take magical notes. Write your favorite colors, the elements that call out to you, animals that you feel drawn to, your favorite places in nature, your favorite hobbies and how you can put magic into them. Knowing yourself and finding your own unique magic is the first step to being a powerful witch!

3.Know Your Roots

This point can be glossed over but it is an extension of point 2 and will also help going into point 4. This is very important point if your cultural identity bears a lot of meaning to you. Magic can be found anywhere in the world and if you would like to follow a tradition you can definitely find one in your own heritage. Every culture has its own magic and even if you can’t find something specific you can definitely find aspects of your culture that you can make magical! For example: vodou is closed and I am half haitian but theres not much of a way I could access it. Anyway that is fine because I still incorporate a lot of my haitian heritage into my magic, mostly by foods that are native to Haiti, using tropical fruits and roots and sometimes offering of rum to spirits and sometimes intuitively (like I made flower water and my mom commented once thats something that people did in vodou and I was like lol I had no idea I was just making this water..) I am also half French and I use Lenormand to divine with and also like recycle my dad’s fancy wine bottles for oil infusion haha (that’s more of a 'what I have access to’ then a cultural thing tho). Every culture has something special like in witchcraft there is knot magic but if you were chinese you can incorporate that with the chinese knot charms, or for south asian/east african heritage could make sigils on their body with henna or assigning different spice mixes with spells in kitchen magic, or southwest asian/northern african witches using their hookahs to smoke various herbs to help them do shadow work or astral traveling, or afro witches braiding spells into their boxbraids and adorning them with crystal beads for protection or european witches baking spells into bread. Like since this is also a continuation of point 2, this is about how magic relates to you and whatever you are surrounded by. You can make magic yours and incorporate it into your culture!

4. Know your Local Nature

I have spoken ENOUGH on this post haha I am sure I have given you enough reading material for two months but I will link this link here on it.

http://ofcloudsandstars.tumblr.com/post/165455994141/local-witchcraft (read all the links in it too they are all great posts!)

I think on this post I have already spoken enough about nature and how important it is to magic so you understand by now.

5. Resources

Seek out your local metaphysical, new age, crystal or magic shops! Even if you have none you can sometimes find helpful books in used book stores, or find tools in craft stores. Michaels is an incredible franchise that sells potion bottles, labels, crystal beads, edible glitter, pretty journals, things for altars, candles and candle wax and candle making things, JARS, pots for plants, jewelry making kits, mini mirrors and all kinds of things you can use in magic.

Here is my resource tag for more resources

OK THAT WAS A LOT

sorry for the novel, but I hope you will have time to research and start your journey! Good luck with everything! Feel free to shoot any more questions!! °☆.。.:*・