#are people even still posting on 11/11? 😂

[saradiation]

For 11/11 this year you get Dirk! 🧡

[redxx95]

Exploring Kurosawa's internalized homophobia and compulsive heteronormativity

oh yea baby we bustin out the Big Words for this one 😎

This was supposed to be posted at the end of pride month but Life happened and it got delayed a lot 😩 So yea happy pride month (and happy birthday Kurosawa I guess 😂)

(btw I think I've never mentioned this on any of my other posts but english is not my first language, so if anything I write ever sounds awkward, that's probably why 😅) (also I had to merge a bunch of images to get around the image limit, this post is really long, the word count is at 1930 words 💀)

Hope you guys enjoy the read! 💞

Spoilers for anything up to vol 11

Let me start this by saying that there's no actual textual evidence of Kurosawa being gay (rather than bi/pan), so this interpretation is definitely veering towards headcanon territory. I'm also not trying to establish this as the only Correct opinion and anyone is of course allowed to have their own sexuality headcanons, this is very healthy and valid 👍

Kurosawa's internalized homophobia

The first scene I want to put under a magnifying glass is this one.

Let's examine what's going on here: Kurosawa has just tried to kiss Adachi, whose hesitation he perceived as disgust. Then he pretends it was disgusting for him too, because he thinks that is the average reaction anyone would have, extending this to Adachi as well. The way he says "who'd be into that?" is already lowkey homophobic, but the japanese line makes it even more evident: "普通嫌だよな" (= "Normally, you'd dislike that right?"). Keyword here being "普通" = "normal, ordinary", implying that anyone who would like that is abnormal. So what does that say about him then, who was so happy to get the chance to kiss another man? This is pretty much textbook internalized homophobia, where he has accepted what he perceives to be the general opinion on gay people and has made those values his own, hating himself for it (albeit only briefly here), which is why he internally apologizes to Adachi.

This is not the only instance of him feeling like that, although this next part is slightly more speculative than the more obvious example above.

So we all know that Kurosawa is a jealous, jealous man. It's one of his defining character traits and it's often the source of conflict and comedy alike. But he does not express his jealousy equally across genders. With men he has this strong rivalry where he needs to prove himself better and more worthy of Adachi's attention.

But with women he has a different approach: gently coaxing them away from him, lest they realize what a catch Adachi really is.

So, why this difference? The answer I have is that he doesn't actually believe he can compete with a woman. If Adachi wants to be close with a man, Kurosawa thinks it might as well be him, he's the best option after all. But if Adachi wants a woman, he cannot offer anything and is therefore the inferior option. He believes this even after he found out Adachi's not completely repulsed at the idea of being with a man. Even if Adachi's okay with men, he'll always prefer a woman.

And whenever he imagines anyone else with Adachi, it's always a woman, specifically Fujisaki, which he believes is "his type".

And he at least thinks he's very far away from that ideal. (He's not but that's a topic for a different essay.) If anyone's wondering why he even bothers at all then if he's so sure that a woman will out-compete him, I think the lyrics from the anime opening actually put it best, specifically the last verse:

I have these impatient feelings I doubt this love will come to fruition But still I can't give up this happiness There's a feeling here I can't resist A love like a castle in the sky

So basically, his plan is that he might as well ride the high of his first ever crush as far as it will go, intercepting where he can to prolong it just that little bit further, until it all inevitably comes to an end. (a castle in the sky = an unreachable dream) This plan kind of fluctuates throughout volumes 1-3 as Adachi gives him a bunch of mixed signals, but it holds true most of the time.

Adachi's side

Now I'd like to highlight the way Adachi actually thinks about their relationship, because it serves as a great contrast to Kurosawa's assumptions about him.

Throughout the first three volumes we see him grapple with his newfound feelings for Kurosawa, but he (almost) never puts his gender at the forefront of his musings. The manga makes it very clear that it's his lack of romantic experience and low self esteem that make it hard for him to accept Kurosawa's affections, and not the fact that he's a man.

This second page here being his own little gay awakening, where he realizes that he is not, in fact, disgusted by intimacy with a man.

It's also worth mentioning that when he later introduces Kurosawa to his parents (ch 41), they are immediately welcoming of him, suggesting he grew up in a very tolerant environment.

And it's not like he's completely unaware of heteronormativity/homophobia either, especially after he does his research in vol 8, but he is slightly more defiant in responding to it.

(I love how he just buys that bag he probably doesn't need that's supposed to come with all the wedding magazines, just as this very tiny act of rebellion.)

So now that we can see how different Kurosawa's thought patterns are compared to Adachi's, the next question we should ask ourselves is: Why is he like that?

Heteronormativity in Kurosawa's life

(yes we're finally getting to the comphet part of the essay 😂)

First let's look at the environment he grew up in. There are not many scenes with his family, but from those that we do have, we can at least make some assumptions about how he must've been raised.

His mother is clearly the authority figure in his life, judging by how she's described as "strong" and how terrified he is at her merely setting down a teacup (while Adachi has a more mild reaction). Her reaction to the news of them dating and Kurosawa expecting his parents to go as far as disowning him for it would suggest that she might just be generally homophobic.

But when they actually go meet her we see this slightly more nuanced perspective.

She's not entirely against it, but she does believe they are making a mistake by choosing to be together, hence why she thinks they might "regret it". There's many hardships that gay couples in Japan face, some of which we even see discussed in the manga, so it's not hard to see why she would be concerned for her son. The way she talks about Kurosawa never causing any problems, but "changing" ever since he fell for Adachi further supports that conformity is what she believes will ultimately lead to a successful, happy life. And that's also why she accepts Adachi later, when he's made it abundantly clear in his speech that they are happier in this non-conforming relationship than they were without it.

To contrast, her other child Mari is shown to have a very progressive stance (see: her pep talk in ch 47) and it would not surprise me if that is the reason she's rarely in japan and is never seen together with her family, save for the one time they're all at the wedding. She might find the conforming environment too restrictive and preferring to keep her distance. (shoutout to naina for this bit 🙏)

So that's Kurosawa's family situation. Now let's check how his social circle holds up.

From what we see of his friends, they never even seem to consider him possibly being with a man.

And his work environment seems rather toxic to say the least.

It clearly dictates traditional gender roles as the ideal. Nobody except Fujisaki even clocks any of Kurosawa's advances on Adachi as romantic in nature, even though he seems to be quite obvious about it (see: ch 34.5). And it's not like dating in general is discouraged at Toyokawa either, as we can see from all the women constantly vying for Kurosawa's attention.

From all this we can conclude that Kurosawa's upbringing and social/work environment is painfully heteronormative and until he falls for Adachi it seems he never questioned the status quo either.

The famous onsen scene, while funny, also reveals the sad truth that Kurosawa, in his 30 years of life, probably never even had the chance to explore his sexual orientation, rather focusing on being "perfect" in his straight relationships.

Speaking of those relationships...

He apparently had a bunch of girlfriends, who all seem to have dumped him pretty early on. His mother's surprise at him expressing a willingness to commit also makes me think he's never brought anyone home either. He also only seems to have a surface level understanding of what a proper relationship is supposed to entail, if his idea of an ideal date is just "what the average person" thinks is romantic. So why were all of his relationships so short-lived? Before I answer that...

Intermission: Kurosawa's smiles

It has come to my attention that this is not common knowledge, so let me explain: There's a way to tell apart Kurosawa's fake smiles from his real ones, without any context clues, just purely visually.

Real smiles: (ch 23, 24, 37)

Fake smiles: (ch 5, 13, 32)

The difference being very simple: Blush = real, no blush = fake 👍 And before anyone mentions it: No he doesn't just blush when he's around Adachi, that last fake smile is actually directed at him. (ch 32)

Edit from the future: This holds true like 90% of the time, but as Toyota's art style becomes more detailed, this doesn't apply as much in the newer volumes. I think there's also new details added that I haven't quite figured out yet so take this bit with a grain of salt. (The images below are still from her early art style though.)

So now that we have this additional knowledge, let's take a look at every instance Kurosawa is paired with a woman.

He's smiling in all of these. Not a single one has a real smile in it though.

I think he's never actually had his heart in any of his relationships, and the girls probably noticed it and that's why they dumped him.

And, of course, the first time he actually falls in love...

... just so happens to be with a man.

Even his friends comment on this, who have known him since high school.

It's almost funny how perfectly this aligns with real life gay people. Having numerous, short-lived relationships with people of the "wrong" gender is one of the more common traits of compulsive heteronormativity. (source: me oof) (but also shoutout to the "Am I a lesbian?" masterdoc, google it if you don't know, it's truly eye-opening)

After dating Adachi

So we have already established that he's far happier when he does finally get to date Adachi, but do any of his other thought patterns change?

Honestly it seems like he throws every single reservation about being seen as gay out the window.

He starts bragging like crazy about his new relationship to anyone willing (and unwilling) to listen, he has no qualms about PDA, he marks Adachi up and down so everyone knows he's taken and the only thing stopping him from proclaiming his love for Adachi to the whole world is the still very much existing societal homophobia. But he is a lot more easy-going about it now than he ever was before.

And I think the best way to describe this mental shift is, hear me out, the date song from volume 4...

... specifically the last 2 verses as a whole, and this section in particular:

"I won't let anyone divide our fraction! You couldn't pry this thrill from my hands when they're cold and dead!"

Horrible lyrics aside, this perfectly encapsulates how Kurosawa simply couldn't care less anymore now that he finally has what he's wanted for more than a year, maybe even his whole life. All the societal pressure pales in comparison to the sheer euphoria he feels at finally having someone that he loves and who loves him back just as strongly, feeling cared for and seen like no one else ever did.

And, you know, just happens to be a man. 🏳️‍🌈

[m4tthewmurd0ck]

Tom Blyth x Actress!Reader

i try to avoid descriptors but i do use she/her! click [HERE] for my tom blyth masterlist :)

not one to let the media or haters get to you, you both remind everyone that you know damn well who your significant other is.

⚫️⚪️⚪️⚪️

⚪️⚫️⚪️⚪️

⚪️⚪️⚫️⚪️

⚪️⚪️⚪️⚫️

tagged; tomblyth

liked by nickkbenson and others…

yourname christmas is in 2 days and guess what? snow can land on top (of me 🥵) hshexndjdnskfcnsk

username my favorite couple to ever exist!!

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rachelzegler hahaha i love you yourname 😂😂😂 caption 11/10 honestly

↳ yourname lucy gray is a better woman than i. i would’ve folded SO FAST.

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↳ yourname hehe 😇🤭

username truly one of us

↳ yourname like tbh your honor i can fix him!!!! just give me a chance!

username i love that she’s her boyfriends biggest fan.

↳ yourname even in that eminem buzzcut era (and that’s how you KNOW it’s real).

joshandresrivera coriolanus had sejanus killed 🙃 but i am the captain of the yourname and tomblyth ship so i approve this message.

↳ yourname hehe love you!!! 💕

yourname all jokes aside, i love tomblyth more than anything in the world. i posted a meme of ewan and some of you took it way too far. comments are back on but next time they’ll be permanently off. tom is the sweetest most caring man i know, and i am so so lucky that i get to be with him. he tells me he loves me every day, and i am grateful always. i know how lucky i am.

↳ tomblyth i love you, so much ♥️ and i’m definitely luckier that you love me

♥️♥️♥️ 1 hour later ♥️♥️♥️

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tomblyth 1. me (literally) when someone has the audacity to say things about yourname and i as if they know us personally. 2. only one i want to spend the rest of my life with. i love you (more) yourname ♥️

yourname even with the 😧🫤 face he’s still hot 🥵

↳ username thirsting over her mans. i respect it.

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Tom Blyth x Actress!Reader taglist — if you requested to be tagged and don’t see your user, I wasn’t able to tag you! if you’d like to be added, let me know!

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[germiyahu]

Not too thrilled that my other post is getting so many notes when I'm not satisfied with it for a multitude of reasons. Let's have a do-over, hopefully much more succinct and to the original point.

When Palestinians, actually basically all Arabs, or all Muslims, say "Jerusalem is holy to us it is the 3rd holiest city in our religion." The White Western Leftist (WWL) will say "That's so valid your religion is so interesting and beautiful Hamas did nothing wrong I love the Houthis!"

But if a Jew ever rebuts "Jerusalem is holy to us as well, it's our holiest city, basically the only one we have," the WWL will probably roll their eyes, scoff, probably say something like "Okay but like why are you still using your outdated Zionist death cult to justify colonialism? You really think the Bible justifies killing millions of Palestinians?" and start going on and on about how Judaism invented everything bad about Christianity.

My hypothesis: These people are not allies to Muslims (Palestinians). They are condescending to them. They are throwing them a bone because they feel bad about how the Muslim world has been treated, well ever since Sykes-Picot, but especially post 9/11, the Patriot Act, The War on Terror, Iraq, Afghanistan, the Drone War, Libya, Nato, The Arab Spring, the list goes on. They don't think Muslims are capable of building the kind of societies they want, not without their gracious help. They don't think Muslims should have the same ideals of democracy and human rights, because they don't expect that from the Brown People. They won't ever hold them to such a standard because "Ugh where do we get off lecturing them?" even though they would never think this of Jews.

These people are not equals to Jews, something something Sartre they think they are both superior and inferior (which makes them superior). They are not just trying to hold their fellow citizens of the world to account. They are trying to put Jews in their place. They are projecting their religious trauma onto Jews because they do not understand Judaism. They see Judaism as Power. They are trying to delegitimize Judaism as a religion (and it is a religion, including the parts of religions that give atheists the "ick," including a lot of mysticism). They are trying to caterwaul about Jews being responsible for the world's ills and that they expect Jewish People to be better than this. To evolve beyond religion and community and affiliation and identity. They want Jewish to be nothing more than a box ticked off on a census. A neat little factoid about yourself, like how your neighbor Cheryl has Norwegian ancestry.

My only conclusion is that these people find Jews and Judaism repulsive, and they find Muslims and Islam primitive. Unlike their parents' generation, they appreciate the primitive. It is noble savagery to them. Unlike their parents' generation, the comparatively cosmopolitan modern secular Western sheen of Jewry (applied to Jews against their will) is not something that we almost lost from the world, but an annoying holdover of what we almost successfully purged from the world.

Because remember, while they hate their parents and everything they stand for, they still deep down want Daddy's approval. So it makes perfect sense why the psyche would displace anger and trauma and all that caused by Christianity, and look elsewhere to place blame. It falls at the feet of Jews and Judaism. Because my culture could never, there has to be a missing puzzle piece that could explain- oh there it is. The Jews did it. And wow look how easily this can slot in with every other antisemitism conspiracy theory.

The audacity to think I could make a shorter version of that post 😂 But basically it's this: The WWL, the Zoomer Left, the Tankies, whatever name you call them... they think that they can "save" Muslims by offering up Jews, and the terrorist fascist fundamentalists like Hamas, Hezbollah, the Houthis, they're on board. They're all in. Normal ass every day Muslims/Palestinians? They just want peace, they just want rights, they just want sovereignty. The WWL is not interested in that perspective.

They have not once in their lives thought of what they could possibly do in terms of reparations. No no, tweeting and marching for a weekend are quite enough. They have not once in their lives turned inward and self reflected on the ways they benefit from and their own role in these systems of supremacy, that have harmed Muslims around the world. Jewish blood is more than enough to pay for operation Iraqi Freedom. Jewish lives are a fetching price to assuage the Westerner's guilt. You know since they have so much trouble turning inward and reflecting on their own contribution to Islamophobia, it might do them good to practice a little תשובה... but I don't know 😌

[accio-victuuri]

Let’s talk about LHK please!!! He is on my list of people I wanna talk to when it comes to ZZ/WYB relationship and that is still true today. His most recent direct mention when it comes to the boys was when he posted buying tickets for Hidden Blade. We don’t know if he is still in contact with ZZ/WYB but it’s not a secret that this trio had a good relationship back in CQL filming and promotion.

I wanna say that LHK has that calm aura in him that would be pleasing to our boys. He is also someone quiet and will not purposely try to get attention by using them. I’ve always had that sense with the CQL cast, they have protected the boys from day 1 to now.

11/5, it was going around that LHK shared a video and there was a fan who commented a series of photos of him with ZZ and WYB asking, “Brother, does this picture look familiar?” he said let me reply to you in 4 words (characters) 完好无损. I looked it up and as per baidu it means intact/complete/without damage.

This could be interpreted into different things ; maybe he is talking about that point in time of promoting cql wherein they had an intact relationship and it was all good times. or that, even till now, their relationship is the same and it’s all good. ofc cpfs interpreted this as him confirming that the relationship between zz and wyb is stable whether that is as friends or more. tho we actually already know this. it’s just nice to see people they are close with indirectly give us some information.

Next he posted again and someone commented: brother, if bjyx is true please wear blue in your next post. Well, he did wear blue in his post after. 👀 ( the caption on p2 is: Even the wind is gentle when you are close to me. May we all have a moment of God's care. )

It’s yet another coincidence. Or is it? Maybe he wears a lot of blue clothes cause he is really a Lan hahahahahaha and it had nothing to with the comment. Who knows. I also don’t advise to ask their co stars stuff like this even if the person is cpf friendly. It’s still kinda sus tho. The universe is once again screwing us over and giving us signs that lead to SZD 😂😂😂😂

[choicesficwriterscreations]

July Creator of the Month: Eadanga

Please welcome this month’s Creator of the Month: @eadanga

Each month, CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers or artists. The writer or artist is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page. Past COTM's can be found here.

Tumblr Blog Name: Eadanga How do you want to be known on Tumblr? Esang

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog Masterlist

1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played?

I don't remember the year, but I started playing when it was only The Crown & The Flame, The Freshman, and Most Wanted. I thought it was a rip-off of Episode because many apps like that exist. The first book I started playing was The Crown & The Flame, and then I got bored of it, so I tried The Freshman, and I was hooked. Been playing ever since 😃

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

I joined about four years ago. I was in a Choices group on Facebook and saw people sharing fanfics. I first thought it was an ad, but when I looked, it was a fanfic, and it was amazing. That's when I joined so I could read more, and then I posted one of my own that I wrote.

3- How did you pick your blog name? 

Literally, it's just my name. I didn't think I'd be here long, not to mention posting. It's the first letter of my name, Esang, and my last name, Adanga. Maybe one day I'll change it 🤣😂

4- Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it!  

This was my first post. I saw people making stories in the Choices group and decided to make one of my own. I didn't think it would get much attention, but it did 😁

5- Do you write fanfiction, create fan art, or are you one of those really gifted people who do both? 

I write fanfiction, but I’m not really good at making art, lol

6- How long have you been creating for Choices and for any other fandoms?

Let's see, I think I started in 2020. Choices is the only fandom I write for.

7- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to create for?

The Freshman and The Royal Romance will always be my number one favorite books to read and write for 😁

8- Share your first Choices fanfic or fan art that you posted with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were creating it today?

This was my favorite, and I'll never change anything about it. It is so romantic, hehe 😍

9- What is your favorite piece of fiction or art that you created? 

This one wrote it for @flowerpowell, and even though she doesn't post anymore, it was so much fun to write something for her. 

10- Do you have a fic/art that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to do well but found it could use a little more love?

It's definitely my Deepest Desire series. I didn't expect people to enjoy it, especially @littlegreenmoo, who was having a field day with that series 🤣. Chris's Journal could have been better; a little bit more detail would have made it pop.

11- (WRITERS) If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why? 

I hate angst, and I haven't written smut since my Deepest Desire series 🤣 so fluff all the way. I love happy endings 😁

12 - Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

I put some of me in my MCs, like when they're cooking, cause I love to cook 😁

13 - What element of writing/art do you struggle with most?

Keeping up with a schedule. I make one, but then real life gets in the way, and I gotta change it.

14 - Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

Eternal Love, I haven't written for that in a long time. I just got caught up with other fanfics, and then you lose inspiration, but I will get back to it one day.

15 - If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to see your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you show them first? 

Yes, I would love to show them, but I've shown my work without people asking. I've shown my best friend my work; she didn't ask. I just showed it to her, and she enjoyed it. I've shown my mom, too. She constantly told me to send it somewhere and get paid even though I only write for fun, not as a job. I stopped showing her after that because she was tired of hearing that.

16 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing or art? Are there any artists that influence you?

@maxattackpowell and @drivenbyfantasy are both no longer here, but their fanfics inspired mine. I’m grateful to both of them for that. 

17- (WRITERS)  Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series? 

The Graduate would make a great movie or Choices book, hehe.

18- Do you write original fiction or create non-fandom art? 

Choices is my first fandom.

19-  What other hobbies do you have?

I love cooking and baking, watching anime (I'm a total anime nerd 🤣), spending time with my baby @choicesgodfanatic, reading Archie comics, watching cartoons, praise dancing, and writing episode stories. 

20- BONUS - tell us anything you’d like (if you want to)

Thanks to everyone who enjoys all my stories, and don't ever worry about me leaving cause I'm here to stay. Choices is why I met my amazing love @choicesgodfanatic. It's part of our love story, and I'll never give up on it.

Plus, I've met some wonderful people here and never want to leave them. So glad you all enjoy my fanfics, and look out for many more cause more is coming your way 😁

[lovemyromance]

Can people stop saying Elriels are changing Elain & Azriel's personalities to make their ship work?

First of all, SJM wrote a bonus chapter and 3 books of buildup in the background for Elriel already. We didn't just make up the fact that they're very into each other - SJM literally wrote that in the books.

We don't have to change anything about them. They are already attracted to each other and interested in each other in the text at this point.

Could we sit here and argue that Azriel sitting in the garden with Elain, Azriel sensing she's missing and in danger when the Cauldron kidnaps her, Elain looking to Azriel for comfort, Elain getting him solstice gifts, Azriel wanting to beg on his knees for a taste of her, Azriel giving her truth teller, Elain kicking the hounds off him, Azriel making everyone wait for her to eat dinner - We can sit here and argue and say those things are "strictly platonic" or "he's an incel who only lusts after her" (not sure how both can be true but okay). We can do that - but it won't change the fact that it is ON THE PAGE. THEIR MUTUAL ATTRACTION is IN THE TEXT.

Cool? Cool.

Next Point: Nobody is changing shit about Elain or Azriel.

It's like the antis saw one post about "oh Elain could be a cool warrior" all the way back in like 2015 and have held onto that like that one grainy af Elucien Facebook comment that one account keeps posting as responses to elriel posts (y'all know who im talking about right 😂).

Allow me to give you a refresher: It is currently 2024. Nobody is trying to make Elain be a warrior. I think most Elriels are of the opinion that we do NOT want ACOSF 2.0.

What we do want to see, is Elain potentially as a spy. AGAIN - not a warrior. This is not changing her personality. She is already a Seer - it is not a stretch to want to see her delve into her powers in the next book to use them to SEE and gather information. Elain is ready to help, she literally says "Find me when you wish to begin."

If people are complaining about fan arts where she's holding a dagger - I'm like 99% positive that dagger is truthteller and you cannot be complaining about an actual canon scene where she has been the only other person to touch that knife in 500 years, apart from Azriel. Not even Mor, his one time love, has touched that knife.

And Elain holding truthteller is in the official ACOTAR coloring book - BTW. So if you have an issue with Elain being depicted with a dagger - take it up with SJM's team.

Let's talk Azriel:

Genuinely not sure what people are saying we are changing about Azriel to better fit Elain?

People bring up the "oh he's too dark for Elain she will shy away from him" um. No. It's literally in the text how Elain calls his scars beautiful and does not balk from him.

Also .. what darkness? I did an entire post on what the hell is Azriel's darkness even and still, nobody had an answer for me because ??

We can't be reducing this man down to a job he took very very reluctantly and clearly hates. He doesn't like torturing people for answers, guys!! Y'all make it sound like his love interest can only work if she's his literal torture assistant or something 😭😭

"Hi azriel, you have a 11 o'clock coming in for the usual water boarding treatment." <tucks hair behind ear and nods earnestly> "and then afterwards, I will wash the blood off your knife and accept your darkness?"

Is that what y'all want 🤨🤨 don't be weird smh

Azriel says it feels wrong to touch Elain because HE FEELS UNDESERVING OF HER?? Have you never read a romance novel? The tortured hero being so reluctant to even touch his love because he's afraid his sins will taint her goodness??

Please people. Listen to like... a Hozier song before you try to understand this man because maybe then you might get a crash course on him. This man is so Hozier coded, it's insane to me that people think of him as some fuckboi incel.

Nobody is changing anything about Azriel and Elain. They are drawn to each other and understand each other without having to say a single word. Their love story is already starting out to be the healthiest: friends to lovers. They have been given a title: death & his lovely fawn.

Their very names mean Azriel "God is my help" or "Angel of Death" and Elain means "Light" or "Fawn" or "God has answered my prayers"

It's already on the pages and if you can't see the writing on the walls, perhaps it's time for a reread my friend.

[starsandhughes]

Penalty Box— Trevor Zegras (Part Eleven)

SERIES MASTERLIST

previous: ten

next: twelve

corresponding quinn post

note: i’m posting this as if i posted on game day but bc the game wasn’t uploaded on espn+ til midnight, i’m posting now!

i kinda hate this but it’s fine

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 8, 2023

PREGAME

yourusername

liked by colecaufield, jamie.drysdale, and 4,782 others

yourusername welcome to my pregame penalty box update: bets edition! tonight is a very special game because it’s the ducks vs canucks, zegras vs hughes, trevor vs quintin, z vs huggy, z-baby vs quinny, trevy vs quinner, trevorsaurus rex vs quinncerarops, trevanthemum vs quinnrose, boyfriend vs best friend! the current standings are as follows:

trevor zegras (11): 1 game since his last penalty

quinn hughes (43): 3 games since his last penalty

let the chaos commence🧡💙 (oh and good luck babe and side hoes)

tagged trevorzegras, anaheimducks, _quinnhughes, and canucks

view all 271 comments

jackhughes tag yourself i’m trevor vs quintin

jamie.drysdale i’m z-baby vs quinny

colecaufield i’m trevanthemum vs quinnrose

_alexturcotte i’m the entire collage

trevorzegras i better be babe

yourusername 🤷‍♀️

jamie.drysdale @/yourusername i wanna go back to side hoes plural, whomst is the plural??

yourusername @/jamie.drysdale 🤷‍♀️

trevorzegras I BETTER BE BABE

user1 brb making y/n’s collage my lockscreen

_quinnhughes why?

yourusername you’re going to have to be more specific

_quinnhughes why to all of it

yourusername yes :)

jamie.drysdale i’d like to focus on the collage please

trevorzegras @/jamie.drysdale she made it with love

_quinnhughes @/trevorzegras i wouldn’t be so sure

user2 there’s not even new out of pocket photos and this post is one of my favorite updates due to nicknames alone😂

user3 i cannot pick a favorite part about this post

POSTGAME

yourusername

liked by trevorzegras, lhughes_06, and 7,553 others

yourusername welcome to my postgame penalty box update ft drunk y/n!! somehow, even though these two teams get so many penalties, there was only two in the first period. but i took a shot per goal for both teams so i’m winning in life!! life is grand!!

my lovely boyfriend, trevor zegras, is now at two games since his last penalty! he’s been working on not getting as many penalties, and he’s proving to be successful in this endeavor so far!

sorry about the loss, but at least you got some money! i love you, always, z-baby🧡

p.s jamie-baby says hi everybody!!!

p.s.s bet winnings will be posted on quinny-baby’s post!

tagged trevorzegras

view all 591 comments

trevorzegras there’s so much going on here but i’m pretty sure you said you love me so i love you, forever, y/n-baby😘

yourusername i did say that!! get home faster! jamie is fighting cuddles

trevorzegras @/jamie.drysdale love her

jamie.drysdale @/trevorzegras she climbed under my shirt

trevorzegras @/jamie.drysdale there is no way this is the first time she’s done this

user1 some people have bitches, y/n has babies

lhughes_06 i knew betting on him was a good idea

trevorzegras i knew you were my favorite hughes brother

yourusername “remember i’m still betting on you girl on fire”

lhughes_06 @/trevorzegras how many times has she watched the hunger games series since it hit netflix?

trevorzegras @/lhughes_06 i stopped counting at four

user2 easy, breezy, beautiful, cover girl

user3 drunk y/n posts>>>

_quinnhughes @/trevorzegras congrats on your loss

trevorzegras @_quinnhughes how’s your face?

jackhughes @/trevorzegras DAMN Z

user4 drinking should’ve been the move i hate tnt games

jackhughes i’d like to change my bets

yourusername well, well, well, how the turntables… (michael scott)

jamie.drysdale i gotta hand it to ya… your tolerance is impeccable

yourusername thanks it’s a talent

trevorzegras my girl>>>

user5 z was so pure interacting with the refs tonight!!

user6 and how they said he had a heart to heart with dallas?!?! swooning. what a man.

colecaufield @/trevorzegras atta boy, trevorsaurus rex!!

yourusername !!!

trevorzegras yeah okay😂 thank you

[pippin-katz]

I need a cast audiobook of RWRB. If no one else, then at least Taylor and Nick reading Alex and Henry. I need it in my life.

And in ACD fashion, here’s a few lists of lines/conversations from the book that I am desperate to hear them say. I want to hear them read all of the lines, but these are the ones that pop out to me!

Post Writing Note: These turned out to be way longer than I thought they were going to be 😭😂

Alex Lines:

Oh yeah, that was a wild night. Two whole keynote speakers. Nothing sexier than shrimp cocktails and an hour and a half of speeches on carbon emissions. - page 5

'Archnemesis' implies he's actually a rival to me on any level and not, you know, a stuck-up product of inbreeding who probably jerks off to photos of himself. - page 7

Jesus Christ, it’s like they can see into your soul. Cornbread knows my sins, Henry. Cornbread knows what I have done, and he is here to make me atone. - page 77

I always thought you’d kill me in a more personal way. Silk pillow over my face, slow and gentle suffocation. Just you and me. Sensual. - page 80

Shut up, shut all the way up, oh my God. - page 131

For fuck's sake, man, you just had my dick in your mouth, you can kiss me good-night. - page 145

What in the rich-white-people-sex-dungeon hell? - page 149

Bisexuality is truly a rich and complex tapestry. - page 194

Listen: I'll fly to London right now and pull you out of whatever pointless meeting you're in and make you admit how much you love it when I call you "baby". I'll take you apart with my teeth, sweetheart. - page 204

You don't get to sit up here and pretend like it's someone else's problem. None of us do. - page 209

i want to see a cage match between your grandmother and this fucking ghoul running against my mom. - page 221

I do think I got a gut feeling with you, I just didn't have what I needed in my head to understand it. But I kind of kept chasing it anyway, like I was just going blindly in a certain direction and hoping for the best. I guess that makes you the North Star? - page 244

Henry! Your Royal fucking Highness! - page 269

Really nice. Fuckin' ghost me for a week, make me stand in the rain like a brown John Cusack, and now you won't even talk to me. I'm really just having a great time here. I can see why y'all had to marry your fucking cousins. - page 270

I fucking love you, okay? Fuck, I swear. You don't make it fucking easy. But I'm in love with you. - page 271

I'll leave, as soon as you tell me to leave. - page 275

Okay, I'm into making history. - page 280

I completely fucking love you. - page 291

I'm there for whatever you decide you want to do, just, like, let me know if I need to start practicing gazing wistfully out the window, waiting for my love to return from the war. - page 296

AN INCOMPLETE LIST: THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HRH PRINCE HENRY OF WALES Note: just the entire list, I need it, but I'll point out some of the best ones anyway lol

9. How hard you try. 10. How hard you've always tried. 11. How determined you are to keep trying. - page 303

16. Your huge, generous, ridiculous, indestructible heart. 17. Your equally huge dick. 18. The face you just made when you read that last one. - page 303

20. The fact that you loved me all along. - page 303

God, I want to fight everyone who's ever hurt you, but it was me too, wasn't it? All that time. I'm so sorry. - page 303

Listen, I'm telling you right now, I will physically fight your grandmother myself if I have to, okay? And, like, she's old. I know I can take her. - page 312

You and me and history, remember? We're just gonna fucking fight. Because you're it, okay? I'm never gonna love anybody in the world like I love you. - page 312

Sería una mentira, porque no sería él. (It would be a lie, because it wouldn't be him.) - page 317

but i've kissed your mouth, that corner, that place it goes, so many times now. i've memorized it. topography on the map of you, a world i'm still charting. i know it. i added it to the key. here: inches to miles. i can multiply it out, read your latitude and longitude. recite your coordinates like la rosaria. - page 319

give yourself away sometimes, sweetheart. there's so much of you. - page 320

Zahra, you're my mean friend. - page 339

I've never... I haven't been through anything like that. But I've always felt it, in him. There's this side of him that's... unknowable. But the thing is, jumping off cliffs is kinda my thing. That's the choice. I love him, with all that, because of all that. On purpose. I love him on purpose. - page 344

For what it's worth, that is the bravest son of a bitch I've ever met. - page 347

My life is a cosmic joke and you're not a real person. - page 371

You are, the absolute worst idea I've ever had. - page 372

FIRST SON ALEXANDER CLAREMONT-DIAZ'S ADDRESS FROM THE WHITE HOUSE, OCTOBER 2, 2020 - pages 372-375 Note: just, the entire speech, the whole thing

America: He is my choice. - page 374

Henry Lines:

Hmm, I always liked Luke. He's brave and good, and he's the strongest Jedi of them all. I think Luke is proof that it doesn't matter where you come from or who your family is--you can always be great if you're true to yourself. - page 45

The turkeys are not going to Jurassic Park you. You’re not the bloke from Seinfeld. You’re Jeff Goldblum. Go to sleep. - page 82

You are the thistle in the tender and sensitive arse crack of my life. - page 73

fucking eyelashes - page 142

I shall just have to make it the best orgasm of your life. What can I do to make it good for you? Talk about American tax reform during the act? Have you got talking points? - page 196

How is a man to get anything done knowing Alex Claremont-Diaz is out there on the loose? - pages 202-203

They wanted something less fruity than the truth, but truly, what is gayer than a woman who languishes away in a crumbling mansion wearing her wedding gown every day of her life, for the drama? - page 205

Someone else's choice doesn't change who you are. - page 229

Most things are awful most of the time, but you're good. - page 230

The phrase "see attached bibliography" is the single sexiest thing you have ever written to me. - page 241

Should I tell you that when we're apart, your body comes back to me in dreams? That when I sleep, I see you, the dip of your waist, the freckle above your hip, and when I wake up in the morning, it feels like I've been with you, the phantom touch of your hand on the back of my neck fresh and not imagined? That I can feel your skin against mine, and it makes every bone in my body ache? That, for a few moments, I can hold my breath and be back there with you, in a dream, in a thousand rooms, nowhere at all? - page 242 Note: based on the parts of this we did get to hear Nick say in the film, I think this would kill half the fandom lol

When have I ever, since the first instant I touched you, pretended to be anything less than in love with you? - page 272

I never thought I'd be stood here faced with a choice I can't make, because I never... I never imagined you would love me back. - page 273

The Mail will write mad speculations about where I've gone, if I've offed myself or vanished to St. Kilda, but only you and I will know that I'm just sprawled in your bed, reading books and feeding myself profiteroles and making love to you endlessly until we both expire in a haze of chocolate sauce. It's how I'd want to go. - page 294

Here lies Prince Henry of Wales. He died as he lived: avoiding plans and sucking cock. - page 298

"Because I'm not like the rest of the men of this family, beginning with the fact that I am very deeply gay, Philip." - page 298

But the first time I saw you. Rio. I took that down to the gardens. I pressed it into the leaves of a silver maple and recited it to the Waterloo Vase. It didn't fit in any rooms. - page 300

I thought, this is the most incredible thing I have ever seen, and I had better keep it a safe distance away from me. I though, if someone like that ever loved me, it would set me on fire. - page 300

And then, inexplicably, you had the absolute audacity to love me back. - page 300 Note: I really wanted to just type out most of the page, but I restrained myself lmfao

I don't know if I would have chosen it yet, but it's out there now, and... I won't lie. Not about this. Not about you. - page 338

Bit short for a stormtrooper. - page 340

I've bloody well had it. I've sat about long enough letting you and Gran and the weight of the damned world keep me pinned, and I'm finished. I don't care. You can take your legacy and your decorum and you can shove it up your fucking arse, Philip. I'm done. - page 347

I've been as gay as a maypole since the day I came out of Mum, Philip. - page 353 Note: there's never too many times to hear the words "gay as a maypole" and the emotional infliction here is lot different lol

Both:

Am I offending you? Sorry I'm not obsessed with you like everyone else. I know that must be confusing for you. Do you know what? I think you are. Only a thought. Have you ever noticed I have never once approached you and have been exhaustingly civil every time we've spoken? Yet here you are, seeking me out again. Simply an observation. - page 18

This is idiotic. Let's get it over with. I'd rather be waterboarded. Your country could probably arrange that. Go fuck yourself. Hardly enough time. - pages 36-37 Note: yes, I know Nick read this part in his book-to-screen video thingy but it's not the same as having them both saying the lines fully in character.

What does Jedi have? Fuckin' Ewoks. Ewoks are iconic. Ewoks are stupid. - page 52

yo there's a bond marathon on and did you know your dad was a total babe I BEG YOU TO NOT - page 84

I'm going to die. I'm going to kill you. Yes, you are. - page 133

You were jealous. You want me. Yes, you preening arse, I've wanted you long enough that I won't have you tease me for another fucking second. - page 137

Hi. Hello. I'm gonna take your pants off now. Yes, good, carry on. - page 141

Ugh, you look ridiculous. Should I-- What? No, of course not, keep them on. Oh my God, what are you doing? I can't even look at you. No, Jesus, I just mean--I'm so mad at you. Just, come here. Fuck. I'm quite confused. Me fucking too. - page 150

I'm not... historically great at talking about things. Well, I wasn't historically great at blowjobs, but we all gotta learn and grow, sweetheart. - page 165

Bitch, you took me there. alskdjfadslfjad NORA YOU BROKE HIM - page 212

D'you know what I want? What? I want, to do the absolute last thing I'm supposed to be doing right now. Then tell me to do it, sweetheart. Fuck me. Well, when at Wimbledon. Just so we're clear, I'm about to have sex with you in this storage closet to spite your family. Like, that's what's happening? Right. Awesome, fucking' love doing things out of spite. - page 217 Note: I think this conversation could singlehandedly kill the fandom if we got to hear Taylor and Nick deliver these lines

Can't you ever just do one thing without having to be so goddamn extra about it? That is bloody rich coming from you. - pages 260-261

What do you want? I want you- Then fucking have me. -but I don't want this. - page 273

You seem... less pissy. You're one to talk. I wasn't the one who stormed the palace in a fit to call me an 'obtuse fucking asshole'. In my defense, you were an obtuse fucking asshole. - page 277

I honestly have never thought I deserved to choose. But you treat me like I do. You do. I think I'm actually starting to believe that. - page 279

What about you? What about me? Christ, Alex. The whole bloody time. The whole time? Since the Olympics. The Olympics? But that's, that's like- Yes, Alex, the day we met, nothing gets past you, does it? 'What about you,' he says, as if he doesn't know- Shut your mouth. - page 283-284

Hello, what was that for? I just, like, really love you. - page 286

What are you doing? I'm taking a picture of a national gay landmark. And also a statue. It's funny. I always thought of the whole things as the most unforgivable thing about me, but you act like it's one of the best. Oh, yeah. The top list of reason to love you goes brain, then dick, then imminent status as a revolutionary gay icon. You are quite literally Queen Victoria's worst nightmare. And that's why you love me. My god, you're right. All this time, I was just after the bloke who'd most infuriate my homophobic forebears. Ah, and we can't forget they were also racist. Certainly not. Next time we shall visit some of the George III pieces and see if they burst into flame. - page 289

If Alex from this time last year could see this. He'd say, 'Oh I'm in love with Henry? That must be why I'm such an arse to him all the time'. - page 387

Thanks for reading!! If you enjoyed this post & would like to support me, you can give me a tip on my Ko-Fi! ☺️

[valiantstarlights]

Omegaverse Lore: The Crucial Hours

I originally posted this omegaverse lore on @mr-sadman discord, but I'm gonna post it here as well for easier access. 😊 Feel free to use this in your omegaverse stories, as long as you give credit/tag me. Thank you! 🙇‍♀️ I'm looking forward to seeing all the hurt/comfort/spicy fics inspired by this. 🥰

Note: I have rewritten most of this to sound like something you would read in a medical brochure for fun, and then I went ahead and made an actual medical brochure (cover) for it. 😂

The Crucial Hours during Heat/Rut Cycles: A recommended reading for alphas and omegas who have reached their majority

--

There's no need to feel overwhelmed when your cycle comes! It's a natural part of life, and we here at (redacted) Hospital believe that the more prepared you are, the smoother your cycle will go. So, here are the most important things you need to know about your cycle, grouped by hours.

--

Hour 1 to 3

You feel fine, except you're sweating more than usual. You know that feeling when it's humid? You feel like that, except it's worse, because nothing you do alleviates the feeling of stickiness.

Do not ignore or power through this stage when you start to feel the symptoms! Immediately call your partner if you have one, or a heat/rut agency if you don't, as soon as possible.

Hour 4 to 6

You're still sweating, but now you also feel confused and forgetful. During this time, your body's temperature also increases, and you may even experience having hallucinations.

Again, it is very important that you secure for yourself a partner as soon as possible. So if you haven't done so already, do it now.

Hour 7 to 9 (with partner)

Your heat/rut will proceed as normal, depending on how long your cycle lasts.

A regular heat cycle for omegas has a duration of 3 days, and it occurs 4 to 6 times a year. A regular rut cycle for alphas has a duration of 1 week, and it occurs 2 to 3 times a year.

There are alphas and omegas who have irregular cycles. If you're one of them, please be especially vigilant and either always have a heat/rut partner ready, or have the number of a heat/rut agency on speed dial.

If you have not had a single cycle for a year or more, please consult your doctor that specializes in secondary gender cycles and schedule a general check-up.

--

Hour 7 to 9 (without a partner)

During this stage, you will find it difficult to speak coherently. You will also forget how most things work and what they're called.

You will feel hostile towards people with the same secondary gender as yourself, even if they're your family or friends!

You will also feel extreme affection for people with a different secondary gender than yourself, so for everyone's sake, it would be best to remove yourself from a public setting, return home, and isolate.

Without a partner to help you, you will feel an increased, almost frenzied need to mate, and you would have difficulty regaining a normal body temperature on your own.

Should a heat/rut partner arrive during this time, extra mating sessions (that preferably ends with one of you knotting the other) must be done in order to help you regain your verbal communication skills.

The duration of your current heat/rut cycle will see a 50-100% increase as well. For example, if you are an alpha with a regular 7 day cycle, then expect this cycle to last 11 to 14 days.

Hour 10 to 12 (without a partner)

You will have increased animal-like behaviors, as your body starts to overheat. You will have also totally forgotten how to speak. (There are cases where alphas and omegas retained enough coherency to speak 1 or 2 syllable sentences, but they are considered very rare.)

Should you reach this stage, you must be isolated so you will not hurt others. You will be very hostile to people with the same secondary gender as yourself, highly possessive of people with a different secondary gender than yourself, and irrational and violent if you think you're being forced to separate from who you think is your mate.

Healing from this stage can take months, and will require medical professionals and extended hospitalization.

One important note to make is that heat/rut agencies do not accept cases that have reached Hour 10. For the sake of their employees' safety, it is best to just call nearby hospitals that specialize in illnesses specific to certain secondary genders.

(redacted) Hospital is one such place, and we pride ourselves with the quality of our care, and the dedication and professionalism of our staff.

Hour 13 upwards (without a partner)

Your body has overworked itself, and as a result, you will either have lost most of your mental faculties, or died from overheating.

For people who have reached this stage and lived, long term (and sometimes even life-long) care is needed. There is only a very small percentage of people who recover from this stage, but for the sake of your loved ones, we will do our best to care for them, so they may one day recover and be able to enjoy life once more.

--

About Us

(redacted) Hospital provides qualified medical care to people of all secondary genders, and has a wing dedicated to the long term care needed by alpha and omega patients who have unfortunately reached Hour 10 and above without the help of a partner.

--

If you have any questions or concerns, contact us using the number listed below. Our friendly and very understanding customer service representatives will help you as best they can, and will also recommend nearby heat/rut agencies, should you (or someone you care for) have need of it.

(redacted)

[luuuucas]

Comments on the Canadian GP 🇨🇦

1— I enjoyed the practices pretty much ngl. It was nice to see Jack and AM doing some work

2— “Keep it fresh Canada. Cheers” and Nano’s face😭

3— CRAZY STARTING GRID. Not my personal favourite being a Tifosi but very interesting

4— “@lancestroll you already know what I’m about to ask”

5— George being an ICON and giving us the pose ily

6— Ollie’s reaction to 11-12 😂

7—Logan talking to George during the parade 🥺🥺

8— Mary McGee supporting Mr Hamilton

9—Both Haas going crazy during the 5 ten laps and then dying immediately after

10—“Its predicted to stop raining in 15” and then starts raining five minutes later

11—“No, I don’t like that answer” and Brian’s “we are shit anyways”

12—The moments before Lando passed Max it was an absolute “there’s a Man in the woods” situation

13—Ham-Alo fight enjoyable as per usual

14—Alex’s overtake in lap 31 was absolutely amazing and not talked about enough

15—“Focus, George, Focus”

16—George went crazy when Lewis was about to pass him

17—"You are far too good to people out on track, Max"

18—Everyone hitting against the sing and then Yuki completely crushing it during the race.

19—Max saying Charles next world champion and the passing him before the dnf

20— DANNY RIC POINTSSSSS

21—Double AM points

22—Look I’m not even an Ocon fan but they messed his race awfully and still acted mad with him.

23—MAX VERSTAPPEN 60th WIN

24—The camera on Max’s bottle was hilarious as usual. Do it again.

25—

26—Post race interviews where Mia is showing Charles what he has to say and he goes like “I’ll say whatever I want” and then go like “I’m really pissed off”

27—He went back to his depression settings and started addressing Max by his last name- give this man a break

28—George getting all flustered with Danny’s smack

29— Kika’s story was very sweet

30—Diana of Wales, you lost first place but will never be forgotten ✊😔

31—J V 🤮🤮🤮🤮

32—

33— Oscar is way to polite. We need Seb to be his mentor now SASSY OSCAR ON TRACK ASAP

34—Lastly, I don’t get how F1 fans can be so disrespectful. People were cheering for Lando during National Anthem like brother in Christ.

+ Also, want to talk about Crofty’s comment on needing lighter drivers like Liam or Yuki- absolutely disgusting, we can do so much better guys.

[sipsandfables]

Unfiltered Thoughts While Reading: Iron Flame by Rebecca Yarros

⚠️⚠️⚠️ BEWARE! SPOILERS AHEAD ⚠️⚠️⚠️

Chapter 1

If I were Violet, I’d be like “Forget these biscuits and EXPLAIN YOURSELF SIR” 😂

If Brennan survived, then why did Tairn’s old rider die? 

“Stop bringing logic into an emotional argument.” Hahaha love Violet

I will say though that if she’s going to be mad at Xaden, she can be mad at Brennan for the same thing

Chapter 2

is this foreshadowing? Will Violet or someone else learn the art of ward building to save them all?

“Weapons are the only things that can win this war” for someone so intelligent, I’ve never heard Brennan say anything more foolish than that 

Andarna is a teen 😂

will she go through an emo phase? Hahaha

At least it sounds like her mom wasn’t in on this murder plot 

“Fucking Dain.”

Lol agreed

Chapter 4

I love how Dain acts like nothing happened. Like, wtf? Why are you surprised Violet hates you?!

Unless he didn’t know about the plan somehow and we all just assumed he did.

Also, maybe another mind reader read his mind and he didn’t actually tattle? But even if that’s the case, he still read Violet’s memories without her permission this whole school year

Chapter 5

“I’m pleasantly fuddled but not entirely sloshed.”

Lol I’m using that the next time I get drunk

Chapter 6

Violet has more self-control than me. She should have let Xaden stay the night lol

Chapter 7

I knew it! So, less dragons are bonding because of the war and the venin. I wonder if they are bonding with the rebels or just staying out of it completely 

Chapter 8

so Aaric is the kings son?! Bold move 

And now Liam’s little sister?! This series is going to kill me 😭😭😭

oh shes angry lol 

“What in the angry-Mairi was that about?”

Lol I love Rhiannon

“I've danced with Malek more than my fair share over this last year and told him to fuck right off every single time. ”

LOL

Fuck this dragon and fuck Varrish. What. The. Hell.

I’d be so pissed if someone ran after that because that stupid dragon is killing people in the way anyways. Hide ya kids, hide ya wife, they’re flaming everyone up in here.

“If Solas comes near you again, he knows I will devour his human whole and let him rot within me while his heart still beats, and then I'll take the eye I so graciously left him." "That's...graphic."

Tairn has the best threats lol he and Violet were made for each other

Chapter 9

I knew Imogen would grow on me!

Omg I bet the person they’re interrogating is Xaden. He never made it out to his post and it’s why he hasn’t come to see Violet. I just don’t know how they can keep the dragons from each other 

“"I can take her," Sloane fires back, white-knuckling her knife, "From what your letter said last year, her joints pop right out. How hard can it be?" "Seriously?" I shoot a reproachful look at Imogen. "I can explain." Imogen puts her hand over her heart, "You see, I didn't like you last year, remember? You're kind of an acquired taste."”

hahahaha I love the banter in this series

OMG!!! Nadine!!! I am NOT okay with how fast characters be dying in this damn series!! 😭😭😭

Chapter 10

I knew this dude was sent by Aetos. So freaking sloppy! And the more this book goes on, the more I think Dain didn’t know about the War Games thing. He’s an annoying prick but I don’t see him being malicious enough to let Violet walk to her death. Plus, I actually don’t recall him shitting on people with a relic. He just seems to hate Xaden lol 

Welp, there goes my theory about Xaden being tortured lol

I find it hilarious that Xaden is so obsessed with Violet’s hair lol

Chapter 11

“Coconspirators with a vested interest in keeping each other alive.”

Lol love Imogen. She’s giving me Ron Swanson vibes here with his “work proximity associates” speech 😂😂😂

Banning people from knowledge in order to keep their corrupt secrets from the public is not sustainable. Sure, it drastically slows the distribution of information but the truth always comes out - it’s just a matter of when!

I wonder if the Scribes are translating everything from the old language in order to hide more lies

 Varrish grinning at Violet saying “dragons don’t take orders from humans” does not bode well. Has he found a way to control dragons? Or at least influence them with blackmail or something else?

Varrish is such a dick. Like, get a life dude. 

Chapter 12

That comment about a blade of grass sticking to Violet was so random. 

Chapter 13

This Varrish guy is the worst. He’s like Miss Umbridge from the Harry Potter series

“You wish you were my type. I’m phenomenal in bed.”

Hahahaha I love Imogen. SHE BETTER NOT DIE

Oh no, I bet it’s that freaking survival class test! They’re getting kidnapped!

Chapter 14

Tairn is so sassy and I love it

Obviously, the water is drugged! Have they never read a fantasy novel?! 

I adore Ridoc 😍

HE BETTER NOT DIE

You would think there would be more crossover activities and exercises between riders and infantry if they have to work together so much and infantry are expected to work alongside dragons

Chapter 15

Rhiannon is responding to Violet keeping secrets way better than Violet is to Xaden lol She’s like “hey, you’re hiding something and that’s fine but don’t lie about lying” with Violet. And Xaden is like “Honestly, I have secrets I can’t tell but here are all of the intimate details of my life.” Come on Violet! Quit trippin' and get back with Xaden lol

I don’t like the rift going on between Rhiannon and Violet this book. They need each other and it’s annoying lol

Alright 2 things that annoy me about this book so far:

1. The lack of Xaden and Violet scenes  2. Violet being mad at Xaden for keeping secrets from her in order to protect others

 Chapter 16

Yesssss, Imogen is spitting facts!!! Hopefully this will convince Violet to let him back in

“I’m still speaking.”

Okay Imogen 👀 She could get it 😏

Oh man, I really hope nothing happens to Rhi’s family and she blames Violet for keeping her in the dark

Of course she misses the interrogation technique class!!! Bad move man

Chapter 18

Theory time: Omg is death what’s powering the wards??? Is that why so many more people are dying at an alarming rate? They need more students to die to power up the wards? And maybe daggers work because they are an instrument for causing death?

“I want you.” All day. Every day.

LOLLL

Omg I love how ride or die Rhiannon is about Violet lol 

Who’s soul is Nolon mending?!

Chapter 19

Theory time: Solas’ orange is off and Dain’s dragon's breath stinks because they’re giving the dragons some concoction. Maybe it’s to control them? 

“Humans have the memories of gnats. Dragons hold grudges.”

Pearls of wisdom from Tairn lol

Damn it Tairn lol while I love that he put Varrish and Solas in their place, things just got a whole lot worse for Violet 😬

Chapter 20

“Ugh. Let’s go throw knives at shit.”

😂

Has Mira met Imogen? They’d be two peas in a pod lol

I’m also shook that they kill civilians. Wowwwww

Chapter 21

Man, this is starting to feel like Final Destination since all the Resson survivors are dying one by one

“History and current events are tied because one influences the other.”

Interesting foreshadowing 

I like Devera and I feel like she’s trying to do the right thing while the rest of leadership goes to shit. Like Professor McGonagall does when Dumbledore is no longer headmaster 

“That’s what we’re not going to do.”

You tell em, Devera!

I bet Varrish will be in charge of the torture lessons given his background and he’s going to try to kill Violet 

I was JUST wondering where Dain has been. Haven’t heard his holier than thou whining in a while lol

omg I called it in the last book! Her mom gave Xaden those scars! I also still think I’m right about Dain being guilty of being a prick but not of sending his best friend to get murdered 

Rhiannon is so smart! She reminds me of Bree from Legendborn 😍

I knew I liked Aaroc/Cam for a reason! Hope he doesn’t die….

Chapter 22

It’s strange that Violet is so bad at remembering names when she studied to be a Scribe her whole life lol

Chapter 23

For some reason, book 2 reads a little more like a YA novel than the first book

HAVE THEY LEARNED NOTHING?! Don’t  eat or drink anything!!!

Okay, you didn’t drink but did you eat the jam?!

Ridoc and his snake confession had me cackling

lol I totally thought Ridoc broke first but he was lying haha

I knew fucking Varrish would somehow weasel himself into this training

They’re using Dain? Well hell.

Also, isn’t his signet supposed to be a secret???

Chapter 24

Wait, they’re practicing on civilians?!?! At what point do people wake up and think “hmmm, we’re the bad guys”?

"We should consider quitting the quadrant." Ridoc jokes as we walk over the door and out of the chamber, "We'd be kickass thieves." "With dragons," Sawyer agrees. "Unstoppable," Ridoc says with a grin.

This is giving Six of Crows and I. Am. Here. For. It.

Unlocking doors? hmmmm interesting 

Chapter 25

I know exactly who did this! A scribe! It was the person walking in the hood earlier that Violet noticed. I wonder if it’s her friend or someone else

Those statements have to be true - Markham is acting too squirrelly about them

FUCKING JACK IS BACK?!

Idk how I feel about this book now lol like really? 

Hundreds of cadets die every year and they spent valuable resources and time to mend him?! What happened to “we let the weak die”?! This is utter bull

Also, Nolon mentioned how hard mending a soul is….it doesn’t sound like Jack has a soul 

Chapter 26

I love the nonchalant way Sawyer and Ridoc are ready to murder Jack lol

Chapter 27

Territorial Xaden is the best lollll he’s like who the hell's jacket is that and why isn’t it mine?! 😂

Well, that escalated quickly 👀🔥

Chapter 28

Oh that has to be his ex. The one that Bodhi mentioned

I knew it!

Chapter 29

“Pull yourself together”

Tairn with the tough love 😂😂😂

“I will already know, as I am continuously with you,” he grumbles. “Forced to bear witness to the awkwardness that is twenty one year old humans.”

💀💀💀

I forgot who Professor Kaori is but I love them!!

Chapter 30

FINALLY Violet realizes how hypocritical she was being about Xaden when she tells her friends part of the truth

I bet Andarna is sleeping longer than expected because she’s going to be powerful as hell lol

Holy shit. Too many people die too often in this series. I don’t even remember who Eya is!

Ridoc better not die

Chapter 31

Freaking JACK saved her?!?! What is this rouse?!

I 👏🏾 don’t 👏🏾 trust 👏🏾 him 👏🏾 

Let’s go Aaric! Sidebar, I need a novella about him. He sounds hot

Chapter 32

I thought Aaric ‘s brother died in Threshing! Well I guess Xaden could have killed him then lol

There’s no way Nasya sleeps through his post every time. I bet he’s spying on them

Oh Imogen has it taken care of lol good. Also, that’s a badass signet!

Chapter 34

“The birth of iron rain” !?

That sounds ominous

OMG LADY STOP DRINKING THINGS FROM OTHER PEOPLE

Fucking hell. I honestly can’t even feel anger for Nolon’s betrayal because I’m too annoyed with Violet rn lol

Chapter 36

So Dain is finally choosing the right side!

I’m so glad Varrish is dead! He’s the worst lol. Violet will definitely have to watch her back from Solas

Yay! Devera came through!

The secret is out! Finally!

Chapter 37

🌶️🌶️🌶️

Chapter 38

Andarna is back!!! Yayyy!

I bet this “blood magic” means sacrifice! they have to kill people to build a new ward

I knew Mira would punch Brennan after seeing him for the first time haha

Chapter 39

The 6 strongest riders: Caden, Felix, suri, bodhi, violet, Brennan - I’m surprised Mira isn’t one

Chapter 40

I do think Violet is a little slow on the uptake when it comes to understanding her power which is surprising since she’s so smart

I’m excited about this sibling trip lol

Chapter 41

“Fuck it. We don’t need a luminary.”

Mira is a whole vibe lol

Cat is the worst and Violet is annoying me by listening to her lol Xaden is obsessed with you girl - ignore this jelly belly lady

Well that explains why Violet was trippin' hahaha wasn’t her fault

Chapter 43

yeah I agree - allowing people to die on the parapet is unnecessary lol

Holy shit ! This entire hike is stressful as fuck!

RIDOC!!!

Chapter 45

“The problem with mankind is we too often find our souls to be a fair price for power.”

Chapter 47

I hope Violet kicks Cat’s ass and makes it embarrassing for her lol

Chapter 48

Well that was hawt lol

Xaden talking shit about Dain will never get old lol

The way Xaden feels about Violet reminds me of Rowan to Aelin because his love isn’t conditional and based on if she’s “good” - “If you’re a monster, I’m a monster” (Queen of Shadows)

Xaden is very swoon-worthy lol

Chapter 49

I feel like it’s always Sawyer pitching the idea to just kill an annoying enemy (Cat, Jack, Varrish) and I’m here for it 😂

HE BETTER NOT DIE

oh no….am I starting to find Dain not so bad? Lollll

Chapter 52

Theory time: I really think these nightmares are real - somehow the Sage is communicating with Violet through her dreams Theory Time: I bet she gets captured or agrees to go to the head Sage by the end of this book to set up the next book

Oh god, I really hope an attack doesn’t occur while they’re on this training mission and then Violet feels responsible for not putting up the wards sooner 😬

Chapter 53

Violet must be thinking of Xaden and how he might go mad since his dragon was previously bonded with someone in his direct line

Fucking Solas. I almost forgot about this enemy!

Chapter 54

Honestly I’m surprised she doesn’t have more enemies since if you kill her, you essentially kill 4 beings in one swoop

Andarna is a badass

Chapter 55

No lie, this fight between Xaden and Violet is a little silly and getting exhausting

Ah, I came to the wrong conclusion about Xaden and his bond with Sgaeyl 

Chapter 56

Omg is Xadens second signet mind reading? That would explain a lot. It would also explain why he’s scared to share since they execute people with that signet

Called it!!! I’m glad her response was not immediately “I don’t love you anymore”

Now I need to reread these books to see when he reads her mind. Oh man, I hate to say it but it kind of sounds like what Dain did to her last year

hmmmm, that was too easy lol

Ugh, we’ve been here before - Violet discovers a big secret about Xaden right before some war conflict and they’re fighting in the midst of chaos. Not sure I’m a fan that it’s a repeat of the last book lol

Chapter 57

well I’m glad Cat has stopped being a twat and decided that focusing on saving the continent is the way to go over petty squabbles over an ex lol She reminds me of Lysandra but in a good way lol 

I think the trouble with the writing of their relationship is that Xaden is so amazing and their relationship is so magnetic that their conflicts feel forced. The obstacles they face within their relationship are hard to develop when Xaden is always saying the right things after they fight lol Not that I’d want it any other way - but I think that’s why I’m struggling with not rolling my eyes when they get into arguments. Violet deserves to be angry about the betrayal but then it just feels like her decision on what she’ll do next about them takes FOREVER and it feels like it’s dragged out across a whole ass book.

Omg did Brennan come?! Is he announcing his “undeadness”?!

Violet immediately wants Xaden to use his secret signet on the others? I don’t disapprove at all but that better mean she will forgive him swiftly lol

It isn’t in Violet to NOT help innocent civilians if she can.

“I love you enough to bear the weight of your disappointment.”

Total mom sacrifice right there!

I need a novella of their mom and dad and how they got together lol

Chapter 58

If I were with the Rebellion, I’d agree to help Navarre on the condition that they make it public knowledge that Venin are real and they’ve been lying to citizens for centuries in order to keep a specific amount of citizens safe - that way, they’re not leaving innocents to die AND if they all survive the battle at Solstice, the rebels will walk away with an additional win (the entire continent knowing the truth)

am I the only one who visualize white walkers from GOT when I read about the venin in this book? Lol

Alright let’s go!!! Way to not turn into the enemies! 

Chapter 59

What is with Andarna’s scale colors?! Their changing colors have been mentioned all book - I wonder what’s the significance? Is she a rainbow dragon?! That would be dope lol

Jack's dragon's eyes are weird? Another reference to dragons seeming off! I bet they’re controlling it! But who would want the wards to fail? Who is Jack in league with if Varish is dead? IS Varish even dead?! Did freaking Nolon bring him back to life like he did with Jack?!

What the heck?! Did Jack become venin?! Why did he slaughter his own dragon?!?

Chapter 60

I knew he became venin! But didn’t realize it was for SO LONG!

Well, everything is going to hell in a hand basket 

“Fucking Jack.”

Ain’t that the truth lol

There’s no way this battle is in this book, there’s not enough pages left!!!!

Chapter 61

Can Andarna turn invisible??!

I’m so stressed lol

Chapter 62

Omg is Andarna a chameleon?!

Chapter 63

Theory time: Andarna is head of the seventh den of dragons! This is why she’s so unique. She’s not actually black like Tairn . I bet she’s one of one making her the head of her den. It would make sense since she’s an orphan 

Add-on to the theory: I think both journals are right but describe it differently. Warrick says six AND the one that combines all which must be what Andarna is since she’s always changing colors. Lyra’s journal says seven because it combines the six and the one

Good thing Andarna can make fire now!

Chapter 64

Not a Liam letter 😭😭😭

This heartfelt moment between Andarna and Violet is everything. 

The way that Andarna looks up to Tairn gives me all the feels

What about Sloane?! Can she somehow reverse her power and GIVE instead of siphon?

Ah yep, apparently she can.

Her mom is going to sacrifice herself! 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Chapter 65

I’m honestly surprised Xaden killed the main sage. I figured he’d be a bigger part of the storyline 

Don’t tell me Xaden is also now Venin?! 😭

NOOOOO 😭😭😭

Sgaeyl is pissedddd

Chapter 66

OMG WERE THOSE XADENS DREAMS THE WHOLE TIME?! 

I can’t recall if Violet only had the nightmares when she slept near Xaden 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I am unwell.

[bourbon-ontherocks]

20 questions for writers

I was tagged by @pia-writes-things (ty!!! ❤️)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

46!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

703,271. Which is, um, a lot.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Good Girls (formerly), HPI (formerly), and l'Art du Crime. There's also a random bit for les Combattantes, and one GG fic has a shared universe with Graceland. I'm very mono-fandom lol.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Take A Dip

It's All Coming Back To Me

It Hurts When I See You Struggle

Love And War

We're Living In A Powder Keg And Giving Off Sparks

Unsurprisingly, these are all GG fics, although I don't think my kudos ranking is accurate because most of these were impacted by the great kudos-bombing gate from 2020 so it's hard to tell what's actually my most kudo-ed fic.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Absolutely. My secret goal is to keep the conversation going back and forth for the longest possible time because I love the opportunity for a good ramble about my writing 😈

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I wanna say Ad vitam æternam (L'art du crime)? I mean, it's literally an MCD fic, so, not that merry... Also if I remember correctly, Always lost in the sea (HPI) doesn't end on a very hopeful note either.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I don't know? All of them? None? I generally tend to go for happy open endings with that extra bit of bittersweet so I really couldn't tell. But hey, maybe the ending to that thing I'm currently writing actually is the happiest of it all, because oh boy, things do get cheesy at some point 🥺

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No at all! Unless you count that one person who commented on several chapters of whichever long GG fic I wrote just to point blank hate on Beth character lol

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Of course I do (in English only), I like my porn toxic and desperate and angsty with just the right amount of power play and mutual hatred. Basically, I write hatefuck 😂

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not really, no... I've tried a couple of times, but I think I'm better at/more interested in mimicking existing interactions than inventing a dynamic between characters who never met canonically (and also, boy the kind of SETUP you need to justify some characters crossing paths... it's just too much work). I'm more of a cameo/easter egg kind of writer, so once in a while I'll allow a character from another fandom to pop up in a fic and say hi, but it's really a blink-and-you'll-miss-it kind of encounter.

I guess my craziest attempt would be that Crazy Ex-Girlfriend / Good Girls crossover that I never finished though, cause like, super different moods?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of but I don't really attempt to know

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! By myself lol. I once posted a fic in two languages before acknowledging it was a hell of an additional work 😭

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Kinda? We never finished nor even posted it but at some point we shared a quite unhinged co-writing story with @whiskeyjack and @00gangfriend00 and it was a lot of fun 🥰

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

You... you guys have that? You don't just live by your Ship of the Moment just to instantly forget about it and hop on the Next Ship when it shows up? I'm sorry but I don't think I have one of those.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

What a trap question!!! 😂

It's All Coming Back To Me, obviously. Look, I really really want to finish it, not even for me at this point, but for the 120-something people who subscribed to it, for the faithful readers who still leave me comments every now and then hoping for closure. I know how it ends. I have it partially written. I just don't seem to know how to write for Good Girls anymore, and getting my head back into it feels like such an insurmountable load of work, I just- I'm trying, ok?

But like, if someone's interested in helping, or even writing that ending based on my notes (and getting full and proper credits for it obvi), just let me know! I'm really open to it 🥲

16. What are your writing strengths?

Probably dialogues? I've been told many times that my dialogues feel very close to the original, and the thing is, I write about TV shows and I have a very good ear so I think I catch quite easily the actors' voices and tones and mannerisms in my head, so every time I write down a line, I play it several times in my mind with the character's voice to determine whether they would say it like that or not. Looks like it's not working so bad.

Also I *think* I'm not too bad at stream-of-consciousness inner monologues. At least it's one of my favourite things to write so there's that.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action scenes (that includes sex lol). Filling the gaps between the important parts. Descriptions. Setting up the scene.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Like, featuring two different languages inside the same fic, or writing in different languages? I'm not sure I've ever really written the first one? I guess I find it a bit clunky, occasionally I've written scenes that included a character whose native language wasn't the one of the fic, and I'd give them a line or two if that's relevant to the plot (for instance, if characters are lost somewhere in another country, I can add a line/dialogue in another language for comedic effect. Or it can be a way for a character to whisper something for themselves), but the logistics are quite nightmarish, you gotta either assume your audience knows the second language, or translate the lines in the author's note, or have another character translate it in a way that doesn't sound too articifial, that's really really tedious haha

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Good Girls.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

You think I know that? Out of FOURTY-SIX??? Lol. Get out.

Tagging: @sdktrs12 @joeyjoeylee if you're around @riosnecktattoo @humanbra @hemerae-ramblings @sothischickshe @asteraceae-blue

[itsscottiesstark]

Hi!

Talk to us about your fictions! They're all in my TBR list.

What are you most proud of? What prompted you to write them? Did you ever write anything before GO fanfiction? Was there anything you were nervous about before pressing "post" that turned out didn't need worrying about?

Or anything you want to share about your fictions that's not in the summary! Show off, promote, share links!

Omg hi!! 💞 Wow ummmm first of all thanks for asking and I hope you enjoy my little stories! Buckle up for a long ass response lmao 😂

Okay, one question at a time, I guess. What am I most proud of, well I guess as lame as it sounds I'm proud of myself for trying my hand at writing and putting the stories out there. Turns out anyone can write, who would've thunk? What prompted me? Well- um. Brain rot. Fr, I got these ideas in my head, silly little prompts and they wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote them down. I've been reading fanfiction for- close to 10 years now wow and so I figured why not? Never really wrote anything before good omens, though the ideas were still there for other fandoms as well. I'm nervous every single time I post *anything* on AO3, I go over the chapters again and again, looking for grammar mistakes, questioning the dialogue, questioning my descriptions, questioning the whole story at times- but well at the end of the day I'm proud of the stories and I eventually leave them be. Nobody's complained so far. 😅 Ummmmm can't think of anything that I want to share I haven't already (though thank you for the opportunity 💞) only that writing and posting the stories has made me appreciate fic writers soooo much more and I love how it helped me see how important feedback is. I love leaving comments in other people's stories and seeing the responses almost as much as I love people leaving comments on my stories and responding to them. It's such a beautiful and sadly underrated thing. Leave comments people!!

The links are all pinned to the top of my profile, except for my most recent one which only has one chapter out (even though 11 out of 13 are written and edited). Check out Undone - Chapter 1 if you haven't already and please do let me know what you think! ❤️

[cheesybadgers]

Narcos Fic: Old Habits Die Hard (Chap. 24)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 22, Chapter 23

Read on AO3

Masterlist

Pairing: Javier Peña x Horacio Carrillo

Words: 3,440

Summary: It's been 15 years since Horacio and Javier brought down Gacha in Tolú, and now they're back where their story began.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY. Brief allusions to period-typical prejudices/politics/legislation, very brief sexual references, smoking, swearing, all the fluff.

Notes: Well....I feel like I should post this with a fanfare or something (just imagine there's one playing), but oh boy, oh man, oh god. I did it. I flipping did it 😭 It's only taken 36 months, copious amounts of blood, sweat and tears, a deranged amount of research, the last shred of my sanity, and probably a fair amount of back/neck pain from sitting at my laptop for too long to get here. But hey, if I don't write a self-indulgent novel-length fix-it fic for a criminally underrated rarepair from a defunct TV show, WHO WILL, I ASK THEE? 😂

I can't fully explain the journey this fic has taken me and my writing on, or the deep love I have in my heart for this ship and the OHDH universe that has lived constantly in my head these last few years. Even when I'm not actively writing, so many things remind me of these two everywhere I go. They got me through the darkest days of the pandemic and somehow became my comfort ship, despite er, certain canon events we don't talk about in this house.

Anyway, I think you've all heard quite enough from me for the time being. So, I will just say thank you so, so, so much to anyone who has read, commented, kudosed, reblogged, liked, sent me messages, made me things, suggested music recs, generally been incredibly supportive and kind ❤️

And thank you to anyone who may stumble across this fic in future. Please never be afraid to leave a comment, even if you're reading several years down the line, I will always love to hear from people about this story.

There will also be some moodboards and playlists posted on my Tumblr at some point (and *maybe* some new - much shorter lol - fics eventually) once I've caught my breath back a bit.

For the final time (unless I randomly think of anything I've forgotten, which is more than likely lol), I’ve also added to my OHDH trivia post to cover this chapter if anyone is interested.

Chapter 24: Suerte (Epilogue)

Early evening rays painted the pastel horizon, their last act of the day transforming the shimmering ocean into an inky palate of fuchsia, violet and saffron, the golden sands at the shore still warm to the touch hours past dusk.

Come the weekend, Colombians would travel far and wide to descend on the many beaches, bars and restaurants that dotted the waterfront. Or if they were feeling adventurous, they would birdwatch, dive off the Islas de San Bernardo, or canoe amongst the mangroves.

But it was mid-week and mid-December – when most locals were at work and school or preparing for Christmas. So, for now, Horacio and Javier had the place to themselves.

There was the added bonus of the coastline turning into a dense forest of palm trees just along from their beach house, civilisation a mile or so away on either side of them, so even at peak times, they remained secluded. It had become a daily ritual to luxuriate in the peace and quiet; a pre-dinner swim with no trunks required followed by entwined limbs and sand in their hair as the sun went down.

Today was no exception, the gentle lapping of the waves around them and their shallow breaths the only sounds to be heard, the taste of salt and scent of sun lotion heavy in the air and on their skin as Horacio rocked into Javier, slow and deep, their chests and foreheads drawn together.

It was almost dark when Javier switched on the shower taps, cascading soothing jets over his head, neck and shoulders. As he soaked his hair, the lights from inside the beach house sprung to life, illuminating the outdoor bathroom with an ambient glow. It was a feature of the premium accommodation they had splashed out on, a rare treat away for a special occasion.

The outside space was a mix of wood, tiles and natural stone for the walls and floors, encased by tall plants and trees for extra privacy. A double shower stood on a platform at the end of a walkway, with a large hot tub branching off in the other direction. On their first night here, they had opted for the tub, surrounding it with candles as a belated ode to Día de las Velitas, lost in each other beneath the bubbles and the stars.

A sturdy embrace enveloped Javier from behind, a position they had found themselves in every morning by the shore before breakfast, looking out to a tranquil sea and a kaleidoscopic sky. The day jobs kept them both on their feet and in good shape, although there was more softness around their stomachs, and Javier was stockier than in his younger years. But his upper body was even broader with muscle now.

He was no gym fiend, but he had accompanied Horacio in some of his strengthening training, wanting to keep his stamina up as much as possible. Not just for the obvious but because he was sometimes required to carry the heavier supplies at work and didn’t want to be shown up in front of his largely youthful team.

It was a welcome development to Horacio, whatever the reason. Not that he ever had any complaints before, but watching Javier blossom as he aged was a wonder to behold. Not to mention, there was more of him to enjoy now.

As for Horacio, aside from the sloping curve of his midriff, he was sheer jaguar strength. Not only in the noticeable places, but his core muscles were in peak condition, the daily horse riding improving his posture and taking him back to the drill commands of his cadet years. His skin was more weathered, and his days of being meticulously cleanly shaven at all times were long gone. But Javier assured him – a lot – the ruggedness was part of the appeal.

Javier wasn’t one to talk either, stubble being a more regular feature alongside his moustache nowadays. But that was mainly due to lack of time in his busy schedule rather than preference, so it wasn’t unheard of for Horacio to do the honours for him. For some reason, Horacio delicately scraping a razor blade across his jaw from the comfort of his lap was far more appealing to Javier than doing it himself in front of the bathroom mirror.

Their hair contained more grey patches, especially around the temples, which was easier to hide when they grew it longer. That wasn’t practical during the sweltering heat of a Texan summer, so they kept it shorter in the hotter months. But in the winter, they could run their fingers through choppy waves and coils of curls to their hearts’ content. And luckily for them, their anniversary fell in December.

“Can you believe it’s been 15 years to the day?” Horacio asked, scattering kisses across Javier’s back.

“This doesn’t even feel like the same fucking place, to be honest.”

“Tell me about it.”

Horacio let out a huff as flashbacks of leading his men on a fleet of raiding crafts towards Gacha’s hideout collided with memories from merely days ago of him and Javier island hopping in a hire boat along the same waters. They had taken a platter of fresh seafood and fruit, exploring the remotest beaches and lagoons, where their only company was the local wildlife.

He could still remember the sensation of the blood at his temple as he lay disorientated on the sand in the aftermath of the explosion, a stark contrast to dozing together under the shade of a palm tree or reading aloud to each other the words of Lorca, Gaitán Durán, Arbeláez, Neruda, Paz, Castellanos and Mistral.

“Although, I did notice signs for the barracks towards Coveñas when we were driving here,” Horacio added with a nostalgic smirk.

“Oh yeah? You didn’t want another night there for old times’ sake?” Javier tilted his head until he found Horacio’s lips with his teeth.

Horacio hummed and put up no resistance, his wet hands sailing with ease down Javier’s body, finding purchase at his hip bones. “It was tempting. But I figured you’d want to make the most of this before Christmas.”

“Damn right.”

They took turns massaging shampoo into each other’s scalps, lathering the suds through thick spirals, tenderly pulling at strands until they purred, thoroughly indulging in the sensation whilst they had the chance. And then they did it all again, rinsing off the soap, floating away on the meditative pressure of the faucet and their fingers.

“We could always see if Alejandra has more spa freebies if it gets too much, though,” Javier suggested through the haze of steam now cocooning them.

“I like your thinking.”

It had been a while since they last used such tickets, their previous visits not dissimilar to how their current vacation was playing out. But despite the chaos that would no doubt ensue, they were looking forward to catching up with Horacio’s side of the family. Between expanding businesses in Texas and Manizales and the oldest half of the brood living and working elsewhere now with the twins staying at home studying, they didn’t get to meet up as much as they would have liked.

However, Elena visited Laredo several times, swapping life stories and recipes with Chucho and joining Horacio and Javier in San Antonio one spring for the Fiesta. Her last holiday outside of Colombia had been before Alejandra and Horacio were born, so she was determined to take advantage of having family abroad before age finally caught up with her. There had even been discussions of a trip to Madrid if Horacio and Javier could arrange cover at work the following year.

“Pops is flying out on the 20th, right?”

“Yes. Marco and Raúl are covering the ranch and animals until your father’s back on the 28th. And Jorge is covering the farm until we’re home from Miami in the New Year.”

No one was keen to leave Luna, Sol and Leo, who had long since retired from ranch duties, but between work and Christmas commitments, Connie taking a full-time job in a different hospital, now Olivia was a teenager going on 30, and the earlier-than-expected arrival of Felipe’s and Juana’s second child – Óscar, a little brother to Claudia – New Year was the only time everyone’s schedules matched up.

These days, Luna, whose main residence was the cottage now, Sol and Leo spent most of their time nestled on furniture or looking for treats in the kitchen whenever food was prepared. However, Luna would sometimes still ride in the back of Horacio’s truck and keep him company in the lower fields.

Kira and Fuego had become old pros, showing their younger siblings, Cielo and Tierra, the ropes, not as replacements to the trio but as a new team with their own quirks and personalities. Thankfully, the dogs and Coco had taken well to the pair of barn cats, Churro and Tamale, who patrolled the outbuildings and dealt with any rodent intruders.

Meanwhile, Chucho showed few signs of slowing down, except one summer when he twisted an ankle, and even that was hard work to get him to rest. But he had been happy to step back from some of his more physically demanding responsibilities in recent years, trusting that the ranch and farm were in capable hands. With their expansion plans a resounding success – plus some new ones up their sleeves – he had become more involved in the business side of the operation alongside Miguel.

And, of course, he was always happy to offer Horacio advice whenever needed. But for the most part, he left him to it since Félix’s retirement, preferring to arrange for the guesthouses to be refurbished or to deliver fresh batches of cooking to aid workers and exhausted arrivals alike on the frontline of the border.

“Bet Jorge was as thrilled about that arrangement as my team.”

“Well, we can always delegate to our deputies whenever necessary. One of the perks of being promoted.”

It had taken Horacio five years under Félix’s watchful eye – and decades of experience – to be granted the title of farm manager. Then, Félix had retired the previous year, satisfied he had picked the right man as his successor and Jorge as deputy.

Horacio still had plenty to learn and likely always would with the constant conveyor belt of change to farming methods and technology that landed on his desk each month. However, there was a sense of familiarity with certain parts of the job, like the meetings, the paperwork, and the budget constraints. Except, this time, it all came without the funerals, the upper echelons of the CNP breathing down his neck, and the crushing weight of a country’s future on his shoulders.

“And a holiday on the Caribbean coast was necessary, was it?” Now that Javier’s hair was free from sand and shampoo, he turned to face Horacio, their lips almost touching.

Horacio nodded sagely and closed the gap. “A critical business need.”

------------------------------------------------------

Once dried off, they lay in a hammock in matching white towel robes under the thatched porch of their beach house with a perfect view of the sea, moon and stars.

“So, you like it here?” Horacio asked after a comfortable silence.

“It’s beautiful. I’m glad we came back – to see it how it’s meant to be.”

“Me too. Although, I fear violence will always be a parasite latched onto Colombia. Just when you think it’s gone from one place, it rears its head again in another. Or even the same place twice if you’re unlucky.”

Horacio remembered the stories he had heard from Trujillo in the last couple of years – particularly about Operation Orion. Officially, the incursion on Comuna 13 had been a success by the Colombian military against the likes of FARC. Unofficially, however, there were rumours of a leaked CIA report, disappeared individuals, and collusion between an Army General and none other than Don Berna’s subordinate. It was hard to keep faith that Medellín would ever be free from its past when history had such a predictable habit of repeating itself.

“I know. It feels like one step forward and two steps back in the States, too. Terrorism might be the new bogeyman, but re-branding to ICE and throwing a shitload of money at the DHS hasn’t stopped the drugs and the people finding their way over the border.”

Javier had heard directly from Steve about the shift in his job role since 9/11. Overnight, Steve’s whole department was removed from their current caseloads and signed up for every counter-terrorism and narco-terrorism course under the sun. It was now customary for DEA agents to be redeployed to the FBI as intelligence analysts if resources required. And if their eyes and ears were pulled away from the drug traffickers, it didn’t take a genius to figure out the consequences.

Meanwhile, in Texas, if anything, people only took graver risks in the wake of a beefed-up Border Patrol. Javier had spent a lot of the past year helping to set up new aid teams in Arizona and New Mexico, the inhospitable conditions of the desert not enough of a deterrent to stop families trying their luck or handing over their life savings to coyotes who didn’t care whether they made it across alive.

“But small things can add up to change. Bit by bit,” Javier added. “And at least they can’t arrest us for fucking in our own home anymore.”

“True. Not that the law stopped us before...” Horacio nuzzled against Javier’s neck before making a move to get up.

They may have joked in the here and now, but it wasn’t a change they took for granted. In fact, Luz and Carla had even persuaded Javier to attend a protest or two and pay bond and legal fees for those who had been arrested. After all, he’d had plenty of experience exchanging money for people’s freedom.

When news of the Supreme Court decision spread, it was another weight off their backs and one less reason to look over their shoulders, a chance to permanently put to bed memories of being spied on during such unguarded sacred moments. It was the final line to be drawn under those dark years, not to erase them because that was impossible. But it was, at least, closure.

Their cigarette was almost done, and Horacio had left the opened pack on the kitchen counter. Once retrieved, he took out another and leaned into Javier across the hammock, pressing the tip of his unlit cigarette against the lit one until it sparked.

“But you’re right,” Horacio continued, holding Javier’s gaze between exhaling a plume of smoke. He balanced on the edge of the hammock, just enough to stop it tipping sideways. “Things can change. But only if we want them to.” He perched their new cigarette between his lips as he reached into the pocket of his robe.

Their first cigarette was little more than a stub, so Javier stooped down to the ashtray on the floor to extinguish it. Once he sat up again, a small cubed box was presented into his spare hand.

Javier stared at the black box and blew out remnants of smoke, eyeing Horacio with an unreadable expression, an unspoken question and answer lingering between them and the mist of tobacco.

He prised open the box to reveal a ring of plain silver. Or, so he thought at first glance. But as he raised it towards the moon, the iridescent light caught on the inner band to reveal an inscription.

Suerte que encontré a mi media naranja.

(Lucky that I found my soulmate.)

“Fuck, Horacio…” Javier’s voice was strained, and his words came out as little more than a whisper. He held the ring between his thumb and forefinger, letting the ethereal reflection from above capture each word.

Horacio watched every shift in Javier’s face with bated breath and a dry throat, his limbs lead and weightless all at once.

“The world’s changing around us,” Horacio said at last; swallowing his nerves and summoning his courage. “But no matter what the law or courts say in any state or country, this can mean whatever we want it to mean.”

Javier’s jaw worked back and forth, his teeth clamping down on the inside of his cheeks. But it was no use, and he let out a trembling scoff, an attempt to distract from the shining pupils he finally confronted Horacio with.

And then a broad smile crept across Javier’s features, his palm connecting with Horacio’s cheek before he plucked the cigarette from his fingers and took a drag. “Pass me my jeans.”

It took Horacio a moment to process Javier’s request. Of all the responses he had prepared for – the good and the bad – that hadn’t been on his list, funnily enough. With narrowed eyes and pursed lips, he complied and fetched the jeans that had been flung over a sun lounger when they stripped off to swim earlier. Apparently, regardless of how humid the climate in Tolú became, denim remained a reliable staple of Javier’s wardrobe.

“Check my left pocket.”

Whatever Javier was up to, Horacio was torn between intrigue and irritation at Javier’s temerity to issue orders despite leaving him hanging. But he did as he was told, and in an instant, everything made sense.

“I can always take it back if you’d prefer…”

But Horacio was already opening the near-identical box, and any teasing faded to white noise as he came face-to-face with the gold equivalent of his own proposal.

“Hold it up to the light.”

The night sky was brighter now, making it easier for the inscription to be revealed.

Mi amor, mi vida, mi hogar, mi vaquero. Siempre tuyo.

(My love, my life, my home, my cowboy. Yours always.)

It was Javier’s turn to observe, and it didn’t take long for Horacio to raise a brow in his direction, shooting him a look of feigned exasperation that only came with the territory of a relationship as enduring as theirs.

“What?” Javier said with disingenuous innocence and a vulpine smile.

It was a contagious kind of smile, one that reminded Horacio they were equals in this and that he shouldn’t have been surprised Javier had the same idea.

“I take it my mother showed you her ring?”

“On my first visit to Manizales. It was beautiful. And so’s this.”

“As is this.”

“I like to think I put my own spin on it.”

“You did.”

They sat side-by-side on the hammock, legs facing towards each other with the rings held in their outstretched hands.

Javier’s thumb slid across Horacio’s left palm, tracing patterns over new callouses born from hard labour rather than war. He circled his wrist, waiting for the familiar rhythm but finding a beat that was, unsurprisingly, drumming quicker than usual.

After subduing with his touch, Javier retrieved the gold band, gliding it carefully onto Horacio’s ring finger, easing it over the knuckle until it rested snugly at the base.

They sat transfixed, marvelling at the light dancing across it as Horacio’s thumb ran back and forth over the curved surface in fascination.

Horacio repeated the ritual of mapping Javier’s left hand, lacing their fingers together as a tangible reminder of their bond. Their devotion. Their vow. Their choice. Whether the law honoured it one day or not.

He picked up the silver to his gold, shimmying it along Javier’s ring finger and passing beyond the slight resistance at his knuckle. Not too much force, but firm enough for it to sink perfectly into place.

With palms connected and fingers interlocked, their foreheads met, chests rising and falling in tandem.

“Te amo tanto, Javier.”

“Yo también te amo. Tanto, Horacio. Tanto.” Javier whispered, over and over in Horacio’s ear like a prayer – their prayer – before brushing his lips above Horacio’s brow, the bridge of his nose, both cheeks and down to his mouth, creating their own sign of the cross with each kiss. A new beginning and a welcome home.

They untied their robes and collapsed onto the hammock in a tangle of limbs, silver and gold melding at their chests and hands; their past, present and future as inseparable as their hearts, bodies and souls.

With one smooth motion, Horacio pinned Javier’s arms down into the netting of the hammock, a dark, hungry gaze passing between them as cool metal fused with hot skin.

15 years and several lifetimes may have gone by. But when Horacio had the man he loved, the man who loved him, his media naranja, underneath him, only one word ran through his head. Mine.

Old habits die hard, he supposed.

[accio-victuuri]

11/19/23 updates cpn 🎂🍦🍪

for some reason, today, both of them decided to share on their social media. for wyb, it’s his douyin. for gg it’s weibo + douyin. xzs also posted on their weibo. they didn’t even bother splitting it up like one will post in the morning and the other afternoon/evening. nope. it’s all in the same afternoon.

we were hoping for some 24 hr relay, but these gremlins are like nope. we will just post very closely to each other. for wyb it’s definitely a part of his homework completion. lol. and the fact that he is wearing something evisu related again. how many things did he do during this shoot? 😂 as for ZZ, it seems like he is trying to catch up too? ( douyin stuff are from yuguyao promotion ) nonetheless, we are happy to get stock content.

doing this made them both go on HS. i love seeing their names on HS for stuff like this. (?FYI for wyb it’s more of the “cross dressing” meaning switching clothes.)

now let’s see what else is there….

1. The same use of emojis as captions on there douyin posts as if they really have no time to think of even a word or line to use. lol. tho this kind of caption is not exclusive to them, it’s just nice to see them matching like this on the same day.

2. There are a couple of guesses on what they are “celebrating” today ; what could possibly be the reason for doing this specifically on the 19th.

(p1) it’s wyb’s 105th post on douyin. 10.5 which represents zz’s birthday, so it’s special. that’s why they both posted today. (p2) the day zz shared his japan trip. i think this doesn’t need any more explanation, japan trip cpn is notorious on this fandom. (

(p3 and p4) this one is kind of reaching but it’s one of those 2020 candies that i love and it happened around this time too. 11/18 - 11/19 it was speculated that they spent time together. for those who were here during that time, WYB shared a video (11/20) of him skating and his caption was like i wish i could go skating everyday and then the three dots. WYB loves skateboarding and i don’t doubt that he wishes he can play everyday, but the cpn-colored glasses is wondering if what he is really talking about is skateboarding. or maybe, maybe he was wishing he could spend time with GG everyday or more often. and the three dots, which in turtledom means i miss you just adds fuel to this CPN. The penguin photo was shared by XZ on 11/18 and it’s a piece that people are adding, it is making the heart gesture and could be because XZ is happy to be with WYB.

There is a CPN timeline from that period in 2020 so lemme just refresh people’s memories even if it’s totally irrelevant ( probably ) to this post. I love myself some cpn archaeology. 🔍

11/17 was luoyang opening ceremony so he was kinda busy here but they still got to spend time together. In hindsight, this is very telling, cause there was some heavy speculation that GG was present during Luoyang presscon. If he was there during the opening ceremony for the filming, he might have been introduced to select cast and crew. So it was easier for him to tag along for the press con before the official release cause he knows the people. 11/19 was the release of the wolf and WYB attended the chanel x vogue event. 11/22 GG released a douyin video and we CPN about the curtains and how it’s similar to one of Bobo’s. Again, hotel curtains are not the most reliable measure, i know, but that’s how CPNs work.

11/25, YBO posted alluding to the douban issue of downvoting works. basically manipulating data — look at YBO calling out this practice years before, they know how unreliable DB is. everyone knows. the point is, around this time, The Wolf was getting downvoted by antis.

11/29, an episode of TTXS was aired where WYB said “i can’t give up what i like”. A sentiment that is true in everything he does, from dancing to his other hobbies. No matter how hard it is and even if it seems like everything is against him, he will not give up. The same is true (probably ) with his relationships. 🤍 this episode was filmed 11/22 which was very close to when they allegedly spent time together so the feeling is there ( and there is a whole different cpn for that day too lol ).

In 2019, GG’s Bazaar promo was release where he said that he saw his love in a dream ( i don’t think this needs any explanation ) and 2021 they also posted around the same time and both are transitions.

This is all guess work, they could be posting for the simple reason of KPI or their studios scrambling to get their bosses to be visible online 😂😂😂 BUT THE POINT IS, there seems to be significant things happening during this time and always including 11/19 between them. ✨ It fits the pattern we have been seeing for years.

3. WYB’s 105th post on Douyin and GG’s 1050 post on Weibo. 🤡🤡🤡

4. The use of a light in their hands as an element to their post. For WYB it’s a transition to change clothes and for GGs it’s more of a sunshine/light.

They share the same brain cell. Lol. and BXGs are so good cause there is already an art for it.

5. I love how XZ was like i don’t wanna be doing this while filming the Douyin. goes to show what happens behind the scenes and how similar he & WYB are. in the video, XZ was asking his staff “is this viral?” and they respond with “really viral” and he proceeds to make faces like he can’t believe 🤣🤣🤣 If he only knew, the most random things go viral. and he probably didn’t want to do it cause it had the cute vibe to it.

Similar to WYB, he prefers the cool transitions and he is someone who will not be willing to do a douyin trend. Both of them would rather share things they love like photos of places or their hobbies.

The lyrics for GG’s video is:

oh no oh no i haven’t talked to my baobei

baobei, what are you doing?

muah are you there? are you asleep?

baobei, what are you doing?

why aren’t you replying?”

Going by the theme of the song, missing someone, his baobei who is not replying lol is this a shout out to WYB? 😅

Anyway, it’s being linked to WYB’s post. The whole transition with the phone light he is doing was said to be popular in 2021. There is a couple version, which means two people are doing it and the BGM used is a song i will still miss you.

Looking at the lyrics, I understand why he didn’t use it and went with the cool tune instead. It’s a bittersweet song and about missing because the couple grew apart. WYB still wants to match the missing theme but probably scrapped it cause GG’s is more on the cute type of missing someone. 🙃

6. Going back to the Japan Trip, their posts seem to echo that time. 11/19/2018.

From WYB’s use of his phone and the shot. To XZ’s most obvious posting on the same day and SAME TIME 🤯🤯🤯

THIS IS WHY JAPAN CPN WILL FOREVER BE RELEVANT!!!!!! Happy 5th anniversary i guess! 💟 Dude I can’t fuckin believe Xiao Zhan did this the fuck he is insane for this.

7. In usual turtle clowning fashion, some of em commented xz or wyb’s photo on their douyin. These might be buried now cause solos are doing the most to make sure the top posts are theirs.

-END.

Disclaimer: this is all CPN. meaning, it is interpretation/speculation from a cpf’s perspective and uses lots of symbolism and past events that are known and understood by cpn-inclined turtles. this is not the place to wash things cause again, it’s all cpn anyway. I don’t make these posts to be picked apart, it is for fun and to enjoy. Okay? Okay. If you wanna complain, do it on your own blog.