#are you getting MORE xyz?

[crayonurchin]

First art of the new year is all about re-structuring your internal monologue.

In my early 20s I was working full time in London with many social commitments and a variety of hustles and side projects.

In my later mid 20s I cater to many sensory and social drain needs I have and indulge in special interests while respecting my lower energy reserves and celebrating my different way of processing the world.

Did I get more autistic? Nah. I got less fake.

-

[Art description: Three panels showing figures on a black background. Long descriptions follow.

1. A drawing of OP as a person with hip-length hair and a dress standing sadly with her hands clapsed together in front of her. She is coloured a muted rainbow gradient. Behind her, two pairs of nondescript figures chat while smiling. White text says, ‘I’m getting more and more autistic the older I get.’ 2. OP’s colours are brighter, and her expression looks happier. Crayon-like scribbles have crossed out the text from the previous panel. 3. OP’s colours are vibrant, and she balances on one leg and throws her arms out as she dances. The text above has changed to say, ‘I’m becoming more and more myself the older I get.’ \End descriptions]

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Master manipulator vs Master manipulator

 [First] Prev <–-> Next

[mishapen-dear]

OH. okay so normally i dont touch discourse with a 20 ft pole, but this has been niggling at my brain tonight and i finally realized why

the people who are mad at qbbh for the memory loss and “dodging consequences” dont understand that he doesnt want to dodge consequences. Like they cant know that, they werent focused on him when he was literally feeding himself to the soul vultures and planning his eventual imprisonment and also. The Many Many Many hints he made towards suicide/sacrifice/Just Fucking Dying.

ccbbh is a subtle roleplayer, he’s been building this shit up for two whole months- it was day FIVE of the eggs going missing that he resolved to do whatever it took (hurting his friends) to get the eggs back. It was day three that he followed in dapper’s footsteps and started feeding himself to the soul vultures (and gaining a Massive headwound beneath his hood in the process- you can only see it if you go on namemc and remove the layers). He’s got impaired judgement. Even the memory issues arent a new thing- i cant remember exactly when they started, but one of the first big moments i remmeber was september 30th where he spent an hour falling into a delusional frenzy searching his base for cameras that he forgot he asked aypierre to plant.

The super murder of purgatory and the memory loss afterwards probably all feels very sudden for people who havent been following his story, but as someone who has been- all of this has been true to character. The only cheap swings he’s made have been combat-based in purgatory, and even the motive for those was built up in rp.

People are calling for consequences, but he has alrwady been experiencing self-inflicted consequences for months. The blue on his usual outfit is blood. This recent memory loss isnt a restart to get away with the atrocities - it is yet another consequence of his egg-protecting complexes and the ways he punishes himself for failing them.

he is NOT a moral character. he’s a demon hiding in plain site. he has eaten people. he has killed people. he understands the cruelty of his actions, and the consequences of them for the loved ones of his victims. but it matters when that harm is being done to his loved ones. he’ll still do it, because he will do anything for the eggs, but it matters, and that means that he has already started the process of self-inflicting those much-demanded consequences

[godbirdart]

literally why would i want to poison my brain immersing myself in petty internet drama all day when i can go outside see the sun and seek out the positive activities that are actually beneficial for my mental health

[wellfine]

wow...... MANY artists take requests randomly. this isn't the original anon, I just saw your post&was blown away by how rude it was. this anon wasn't even rude. artists are always putting out informationals with like guides on how to speak to them&it's the so egotistical&rude&controlling. I literally won't commission random artists anymore&only my close friends bc of these rules that change artist to artist&don't apply to everyone. anon asked you a simple question&was extremely nice about it&you chose to be an asshole in response. y'all act like you're training rabid dogs or something. just, say no, don't answer, or block the anon. like I can't figure out what ticked you off so much about that. talking to ppl like shit won't help them. it will just make people afraid to speak to you at all. anyways lol you're losing a follower&a fan. maybe let your anger out at the gym or something before you take it out on someone asking an innocent question. they truly probably thought "the worst they could say is no" &you proved them wrong. exactly the reason I no longer commission art from artists who aren't my close friends. my anxiety is too high to deal with the anger&your need to control how other people talk to you(even when it's not mean&they're just asking an innocent question).

Good lordt

Mate, I said "no hard feelings just letting you know this ask came across as rude" after we had a bit of a giggle about how funny it is that they hadn't stumbled upon the specific kind of fanart they wanted to see when IMO it's extremely common in the fandom, and then pointed them to another artist who had already drawn what they wanted to see.

"Don't ask/hint at artists to draw you things for free" is not being rude or demanding or egotistical, it's just a firm boundary. It's not a minefield to navigate, and artists who accept random requests usually say so somewhere in their bio/about. I also think blocking the poor anon would've been way more harsh and unnecessary than letting them know how their behaviour was perceived, cuz if they keep doing it, some other artist is going to be way meaner about it.

[redvelvetwishtree]

[screamingfromuz]

Ok, fine, let's talk about why sometimes I fucking hate identity politics. Your identity, your lived experience, does not make you automatically right about a subject that is not your personal experience.

your identity is important because it gives you a certain perspective that is unique to your lived experience, which can allow a more meaningful examination of subjects, it does not mean you are automatically right about something or have a higher moral standing grounds.

here is a timely example, I have been hearing a lot of "listen to the holocaust survivors! they have a higher moral ground! they know better then everyone what it looks like! their perspective must be better!" as if to say that because they survived the holocaust they must have a higher understanding of horrors. this is bullshit, and my timely example is Henry Kissinger (Oh yeah baby, we are going there). The guy fled the Nazis as a child, does it give him the moral high ground? does it means his understanding of abusive governments is the definitive authority? NO! that fucker was the living embodiment of the end justify the means and he was ready to sacrifice everyone and everything if it meant preserving what he decided is the USian interests. If I would have tried to give him the moral high ground just because he survived the Nazis people will justifiably call foul!

Being a victim or being from a victimized group does not makes you automatically right about everything! Abuse victims can still be toxic and abusive. I will give another example that is gonna piss some people off (GOOD):

being a woman does not give you a monopoly on defining what is and is not abuse and sexual harassment. Yes, women has more experience in the matter but for fuck sake I cannot even count how many times women I know refused to admit blatant abuse and sexual harassment. Or on the flip side, I saw women call innocent things abusive and sexual harassment! their womanhood did not gave them the definitive authority on the matter.

I know rape victims that advocates that all men are monsters and seek to abuse women. Will you say that they are more right than others because they were abused by a man? Does their experience give them the definitive authority on masculinity?

and you know what, in for a penny in for a pound. In Israel the families of the fallen get a kind of saintly position, where their word is given higher regards then other citizens, and let me tell you people, that is fucking bullshit. Having lost a family member in a war or a terrorist attack does not mean that you are automatically know better! I have heard so much bullshit from some of those families, and people don't call it out because it was a Shacol Family!

and this goes to everyone! if you lost a family member to a shitty situation you do not automatically know how to fix the broken system that killed them! Being right about the way to fix the system is what makes you right about it!

Grief does not makes you superior to others, or make you more right, it just makes your a grieving person.

don't get me wrong, your experiences and identity does give you important perspective and it should be taken in account when examining stuff, and can even help you develop a perspective for matters that can offer deeper understandings. you are always right about your own experiences.

still doesn't make you automatically right about all the other stuff, like the experiences of others. or how the world should work.

So the next person that tells me that someone is automatically right about everything based on their identity alone and not facts, can fuck off. Your identity and experiences does not means shit if you are fucking wrong.

[xannerz]

its always surreal to me to see people praise s2 of centaurworld. s2 was so spectacularly bombastic and aimless and it ended in this awkward forgettable fizzle.

i feel like a dick saying it b/c i really do love the show lmao. or, at least half of it lmao (/stares at tnwk). gf and i've been thinking about rewatching it just to write out our thoughts on why s2 was such a poor follow-up to s1 - from the tone to the setup to all the worldbuilding the narrative had to offer in between the (far more) memorable songs of s1. idk. it's sad because cw really had the bones of a cult classic, but idek if you can call it that.

ive seen a few posts commenting on its lack of popularity, and i feel like it certainly deserves more, b/c i do feel like it's a novel idea made w/ love, but the shift btwn s1 and s2 wasnt just in the plot. there was a full-on *fracture* in the quality and direction and i'm still scratching my head over it. more than i should be, probably. but, it's just a bummer.

[litriu]

My experience of discovering i'm demisexual at age 25

edit: for context, I identified as strictly asexual until earlier this year!

[kkujo]

something i don't see people talking about is the way hyperfixations come in like stages and cycles like it's not just "i'm obsessed with this thing" it's like. euphoria from finding something new and it brings you so much joy and then as that initial dopamine rush wears off you start to get more and more down and feel isolated as you start to realise that no one else cares about it as much as you do and you feel silly for being so into it and the thoughts become repetitive and boring so you get more and more depressed and lonely and then you inevitably lose the hyperfix which leaves you drifting feeling miserable and hopeless until you start the cycle again. idk if i explained this well or if other people will understand but it brings genuine phases of euphoria and straight up depression and this is why i get annoyed when neurotypicals use words like hyperfixation to describe like, an interest. bc it's not. just an interest it becomes who you are and when you lose it it's like losing yourself and you spend so much energy thinking about it that it interrupts your daily life and it's so fucking draining 👍

[marklikely]

ok u know that fake 80s horror movie meme that people did on tiktok well aside from the blatant goncharov plagiarism i feel like the idea isnt inherently bad but trying to convince people the movie is real while giving it an obscure and therefore easily googleable name like zapotha is unwise. like goncharov was always openly fake but the video said they want to convince people zepotha is real. too easy to fact check imo.

[homophyte]

there is a rapidly evolving rhetoric against transgender cowardice that is deeply shaming nd it worries me a lot

[isa-ah]

How long have you been drawing, and was there any specific piece(s) of media that greatly influenced your style?

these were probably the biggest influences off the top of my head from when i was little tiny til my mid teens i’d say. they’re all still pretty visible in my art today too!

when i was old enough to hold a crayon my grandma set me up with a box of them and let me scribble all over the wall in our hallway and that trend pretty much continued my whole formative life. she would buy me sketchbooks, pens, colored pencils, my first tablet, etc. and now i’m a fulltime artist as a profession so! :-)

[watermelinoe]

i think the circadian rhythm disorder has ruined my life more than the pain disorder tbh

[faggotslime]

Is it just me or do people seem to hold autistic people to a much higher standard than other people?

[lookatlavender]

i may brat and i may challenge you but once you earn my full trust, i’ll do every single thing you ask