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miracle-sham · 3 years

Text

In the Atelier's Glow the Pupa Phoebus will Eclose.

| {Jasonette July 2021, Week 2, Day 10: Light} |

Chapter 2 of Sheltered by Darkness not yet Moths to the Flame.

———

| Even when everything you know splits. When it splinters and shifts, like a chrysalis or a damaged cable. And you're left unfurling your wings, unable to yet fly—circuit broken, fuse melted—grounded, earthed. |

| The rest of the world keeps the current flowing through the wires of everyone else's circuit wings, and they're able to keep fluttering, unfettered by your frayed and exposed wires, even despite the threat you pose to their safety. Too blinded by the luminescence of those with power. |

| Word Count: 7,220. |

| Warnings/Tags: Cyberpunk/Criminal/Gang Au, Explicit Language/Swearing, Hacking, Breaking and Entering, Mentions of Guns, Gun Violence, Mentions of corrupt/shady businesses, Gabriel Agreste's A+ Parenting, Brainwashing, Implied Brainwashing & Torture, Injury, Threats of Violence & Violence, Akumatised!Marinette, Fluff & Angst, Hurt with some Comfort, Angst With a Happy Ending, Gang/Team as family/family dynamics, Found Family. |

———

| A/N: First things first, make sure you've read the first chap before reading this. Second things second, this chapter is a chapter and half. And it's the final chapter! I hope this being 7k more than makes up for it being a day late to posting! I put a lot of love and time and effort into this, so I really hope you all enjoy. And for peak atmosphere, listen to Wonder World by Inova (first song on the playlist) during the first two parts, for optimum atmosphere! Not necessary if you'd prefer not to of course, but still. There's also a ton of light and butterfly symbolism stuffed in this, so try and see how much you can spot! |

| On a sidenote, this fic is dedicated to my friend Saf who listened to me ramble about this fic, and in turn rambled to me whenever I gave her sneak peak snippets. This wouldn't have ended up half as good as it did without her support! Also thanks to Weird for the support, compliments, reaction to the snippets, and kind words as well! And finally, thanks to everyone on the discord who was supportive and kind whenever I rambled in my author's channel! <3 |

| Also side note, Don’t Like? Don’t Read. Also also, please do not criticise any of my writing. This was written for fun and receiving criticism, even in a compliment/criticism sandwich, is the exact opposite of fun. |

———

Even when everything you know splits. When it splinters and shifts, like a chrysalis or a damaged cable. And you're left unfurling your wings, unable to yet fly—circuit broken, fuse melted—grounded, earthed.

The rest of the world keeps the current flowing through the wires of everyone else's circuit wings, and they're able to keep fluttering, unfettered by your frayed and exposed wires, even despite the threat you pose to their safety. Too blinded by the luminescence of those with power.

Broken wires cause lights to flicker and dim. They don't glow as brightly as they could—as they should. They crackle and buzz and burn and scorch and smoke, causing only destruction; when light should only be used for creation.

That's why the Atelier Agreste specialise in fixing broken wings and wires. The brightness of tomorrow splinters the darkness of today, the business proclaims.

And Marinette Dupain-Cheng is merely the latest of the poor misguided larvae, with their shade-like masks and unfortunate frayed wires, to be rehabilitated into an enlightened pupa under Gabriel Agreste's watchful care.

Truly, the discarding of a mask that kept the Pupa in the dark, and the Pupa's embracement of the Atelier's radiant glow marks a wondrous occasion indeed.

How glorious it will be, an unveiling of the newest Atelier Agreste designer's début? The welcoming of a new Papillon among the ranks, especially one that shines so brightly. Phoebus, like the butterfly and the god of light. What a fitting name for the butterfly that will glow like the sun.

———

Marinette—no, not Marinette, she is Phoebus. She is light, and her glow has been fixed.

Stitch by stitch, she sews herself a collection of chrysalises. To represent her transformation that has been nurtured by the Atelier, Monsieur Agreste had said.

Stitch by stitch by stitch. She must make him proud, he's done so much for her. He saved her from the darkness, showed her the light and how to glow just as brightly herself. She owes him everything.

Stitch by stitch by stitch by stitch. Lila—no, Rubi, after Macrothylacia Rubi, the Fox Moth—visits sometimes. She's pretty, and likes to keep Phoebus company, telling her all about the incredible things Rubi has done and people Rubi has met. She's like Phoebus, taken in and nurtured by the Atelier Agreste. Phoebus hopes Rubi will be one of her chrysalis models.

Stitch. And anchor, and anchor, then up. Snip. Snip. Snip.

Phoebus hears the sound of the studio door opening but she does not stop. Her chrysalises must be perfect, she must finish them in time. Thread the needle and anchor.

Footsteps stride across the studio floor but still Phoebus does not stray her attention from her work. Stitch by stitch.

“Good morning, Pupa, I hope the final preparations for your début are going accordingly.” Monsieur Agreste greets.

Her hands still, work halting. The Pupa Phoebus turns away from the fashion piece before her, and smiles, as brightly as her namesake, up at him. “It is.”

There's a hollowness inside her. And smiling at him makes the hollowness ache but Phoebus does not know why. Monsieur Agreste does not like it when she asks bad-dark-broken-frayed questions like that, so she says nothing more and nothing less. She will be his perfect protégé. He said so, and so she must.

He nods approvingly. “Good. I expect only perfection from you and your work. Do not forget, once the fashion show starts it will mark your eclosion into my Atelier once and for all.”

The Pupa Phoebus nods her head, eyes shining almost too brightly in the studio's lights.“I will ensure everything is to perfection for my début.”

Her actions and words are as doll-like as her title. For she was once named Marinette, which is close to Marionette. Marionettes are dolls. And Pupa once meant doll. Like a doll, she is so painfully hollow inside. But like a doll, she is perfect. She must be.

Monsieur Agreste does not sneer at her but his lips curl in a way that makes the darkness inside her claim he is mocking her.

“The set designers have informed me the catwalk has been transformed into the river Lethe. Isn't it rather fitting?” He pauses, watching her with sharp eyes for her reaction.

She nods. That is what she is supposed to do. It is fitting because he has said so. And Monsieur Agreste is always right.

“After all,” he continues, seemingly satisfied with her response, “it was once believed that the dead may only be reincarnated upon drinking from the Lethe and giving up their memories. And you gave up your memories of pain to be reformed as a butterfly that will shine ever so brightly, my protégé.”

“Oh,” Phoebus responds, tilting her head to one side as her smile wavers for but a fraction of a second. There's something flickering in the back of her head, behind her eyes; splintered memories, nothing substantial but the ghosts—Fantômes, the darkness whispers—of them linger.

The taste of iron, harsh white lights, cold glowing white strands chaining her fragile wire wings to the ground, lights—so many dancing lights, and the sharp electric zaps. She shouldn't try to parse what they mean, what they herald. Remembering the Before is bad, when she was a poor unfortunate Larva who fell through the cracks into the shadows and gutters. She is a Pupa now, and Pupa change. They become better, brighter, than they ever could achieve as Larvae.

Monsieur Agreste picks up on her moment of lapse, his eyes narrowing in what must be concern. “Is something wrong, Pupa?”

Phoebus shakes her head. “I am just anticipating how my début will go.”

He hums, unconvinced.

Understandable—she is not meant to lie, not to him. It is not how a Pupa should act.

“Perhaps you should take a break so we can ensure you've not damaged your light by working so hard. It wouldn't do to have your glow flicker and dim mid-début.” Monsieur Agreste states, pulling his tablet out already to schedule a check-up.

The Pupa Phoebus widens her bright yet hollow smile. “Oh, that is a good idea! A break would be most appreciated, Monsieur Agreste!”

Monsieur Agreste does not laugh but he huffs in what must be amusement. “How unfortunate that it took so long to rescue and take you under my wing. You will do well as one of my Papillons here.” He pauses to adjust his glasses, the light shining on them in a way that makes the lenses appear opaque. “I didn't think I'd get another specimen such as yourself, so perfectly adapted for becoming a Pupa and then a Papillon.”

His not-sneer unfurls into a grin, one that makes the darkness whisper danger. He steps around her, to get a different angle view of her work, and stares pointedly at the fine detailing. “It is a great shame that my son and my nephew have both become wretched larvae like you once were, instead of wonderful Pupae like you've now become.”

“You deserve a better son and nephew, Monsieur Agreste.” Phoebus recites from the script burnt into her mind, though she does not remember when or why she memorised it.

“I do, don't I.” Monsieur Agreste considers in contempt. “That can easily be achieved as soon as my men rescue him from the clutches of those vile Larvae. We believe the ones who held you captive and forced you to work for them, are the same ones who hold both my son and nephew now.”

“Oh.” Phoebus responds, getting the feel that Monsieur Agreste is testing her. Perhaps to ensure no feelings of Stockholm Syndrome remain for her previous captors? Yes, that must be it. How thoughtful and caring of Monsieur Agreste. “That is awful, hopefully, they can be saved soon!”

Monsieur Agreste hums, seemingly in agreement this time. “Hopefully indeed. And once we rescue them, they can then be taught to embrace the radiance my company brings to this world, just as you were taught.”

He places a hand on her shoulder, and squeezes. “And you, my dear Pupa, can help my son and nephew stitch their Chrysalises. For they are both models, like Rubi. Wouldn't that be nice, two additional fellow Papillons for you to befriend, wouldn't that make you very happy?”

Phoebus nods at a perfectly acceptable speed to relay her happiness and excitement. “Yes! That would be wonderful! I would be so happy if that were to happen!”

And yet, the darkness inside her wails and grieves as she utters each word but Phoebus does not understand why.

“Good,” Monsieur Agreste states, “that is very good to hear. Now, I shall return when your break is ready.” He turns around and strides towards the door, stilling at the threshold. “My wife will prepare high tea for you to join her at, once your break is ready.”

The Pupa Phoebus nods, fingers twitching as she turns back to meticulously stitching her chrysalises. “Thank you, Monsieur Agreste, I cannot wait!”

He huffs in what must be amusement again, “I would hope so, Pupa.”

If she didn't know better, the Pupa Phoebus would wonder why the silver butterfly necklace feels more like shackles than a gift. Why the darkness begs her to break the chains.

———

Three months. Three fucking months. Of nothing. Not a whisper on the news or in the underground, no public proclamations of the capture of one of the co-leaders of the most notorious gangs in the city. Nothing, abso-fucking-lutely nothing. Three fucking months she's been gone and not a word about what happened.

Jason sits crouched on the sofa, head in his hands. A coffee is placed on the table in front of him, he can tell from the smell, and the sound of the liquid sloshing about inside the cardboard cup.

“Marinette used to like coffee…” Jason bemoans, half-serious, half-jokingly.

Something shatters in the next room over, the kitchen most likely from the sounds of it.

“Oh. My. Fucking. God. Jason!” Alix hiss-screeches, from the same place as the shattering, like an angry kitten on roller skates. “You've said that meme every day for the last month! I'm going to murder you!”

Adrien, who's been sitting on top of the side cabinets, throws his head forwards and barely manages to stifle the laugh by slapping a hand over his mouth. He wheezes for a few seconds as he gets his laughter, and breathing under control again.

Félix snorts from where he's curled up in a cushioned armchair. “Alix has a point, you know. We understand you miss her but as do we.”

“Shhh! You'll disturb him!” Roy shushes, grinning mischievously as he stands behind the sofa. Putting on his best David Attenborough impression, he begins to recite, “here we have the rare Jasonarches Toddamentum brooding in his natural habitat. Lamenting the loss of one of his pack, specifically his co-alpha—”

Jason whips around to face Roy and launches the nearest pillow from the sofa at him, before he can continue the mockumentary. “Co-alphas? Really? That's the best you could come up with! C'mon man!”

Yelping, Roy ducks but not quick enough as the pillow smacks him in the right shoulder and flops onto the floor.

Nodding mock sagely, Félix sighs. “We expected better from you, Roy.”

“Yeah, Roy.” Kori teases, passing a second coffee in her hands over to him.

Placing a hand over his heart, Roy gasps. “Wow! The betrayal!” he complains as he grabs at the coffee and cradles it to his chest with the other. “And thanks, Kori! For the coffee, not the betrayal!”

“Ah, friends?” Markov calls cautiously as he hovers into the room, anxiety lacing his robotic voice, claws fiddling with the corner of what looks to be an envelope.

Immediately the jovial atmosphere splinters and everyone stills. Everyone except Artemis and Alix who walk, and roll into the room respectively, at that precise moment. Both hovering by the respective door frames they entered through, coincidentally opposite each other. Artemis crosses her arms, whilst Alix grabs the door frame with one hand to steady herself.

Jason tenses and glances over at the little AI. “Everything okay, Markov?”

Markov fretfully swings his claw arm around. “One of our couriers was handed a letter.”

“Did they bring it here?” Jason questions, brows furrowing in worry.

Markov shakes his head. “The courier handed it to a third-party forger, and created the forgery I am now holding. It is addressed to Adrien, and Félix.”

Adrien sucks in a sharp breath, he turns to exchange a look with Félix. “You don't think it's…” He trails off, unwilling to say it out loud in case it makes it any more likely.

Grimacing, Félix nods. “It has to be. It was rather publicly known when you were "kidnapped",” he states, making quotation marks with his fingers as he stressed the word, “by this gang. Less so when you spearheaded my "kidnapping", with them.”

“Yeah… that's. We didn't think that through.” Adrien admits, scrunching his mouth up in concern. “But! If that didn't happen, I wouldn't have gotten to use Cheval Mallet as my vigilante name, which is a plus at least!”

Félix huffs bitterly. “Oh, because getting to use a vigilante name that fits thematically is completely and utterly worth getting targeted by the Big Butterfly himself?”

“In my defence—” Adrien starts, only to shut his mouth again as words fail him. “Nevermind, you've got a point.”

Jason clicks his tongue. “More importantly, we need to decide what we're doing about this.”

“We need to actually see what is inside the envelope, first.” Félix counters, marching over to Markov.

Markov dips in the air in lieu of a nod and extends his claw-arm to hand Félix the envelope. “Here you go, friend!”

“Thank you, Markov.” Félix responds, nodding his head to the little AI as he takes the extended envelope. He marches back over to Adrien and slips out the disguised knife pen out of his pocket, before carefully slicing the top of the envelope open like one would do with a letter opener. Plucking the letter from inside, he holds it at an angle so only he and Adrien can read what has been written.

Seconds pass.

Swearing under his breath, Adrien glances up at Jason with panic clear in his eyes. “It's… it's from Kagami. She's been compromised, the Big Butterfly knows she was in contact with us. He and her mother have forced her to invite us to the Big Butterfly's upcoming fashion show…”

“She's worried that it's a trap, to capture us both so that they can… do to us what they did to my mother, and all of his Papillons.” Félix continues in Adrien's stead, barely able to conceal the dawning horror on his face.

Artemis moves towards them and asks as softly as she can, brows furrowing in concern. “And what exactly, did they do to your mother?”

He swallows a breath of air thickly. “Adrien's mother went missing a few years ago. And so my mother and I visited Adrien and his sperm donor as we were all grieving. However, I started to notice things seemed off and before either of us realised, the Big Butterfly was parading my mother around in front of the news and media pretending she was her twin sister instead. Even at home, she started treating me like Adrien's mother had.”

“What the fuck! Are you saying the Big Butterfly brainwashed your mom?” Jason exclaims, eyes wide with a mixture of horror, disgust, and alarm.

“Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. The Big Butterfly brainwashed my mum into believing she was Aunt Emilie, purely so that he could keep appearances up in front of the cameras.” Félix confirms, hands balled into fists and shaking ever so slightly. “When Adrien got out and joined here, I stumbled across the Big Butterfly's plans to replace Adrien by doing the same to me. If you all hadn't helped me get out in time…” He chokes up, unable to get the next words out of his mouth.

“That is truly despicable. I'm sorry.” Artemis apologises, looking equally disturbed by the information.

“Shit.” Roy mutters, glancing between Félix and Adrien. “What do we do? We can't just let another innocent get fucking brainwashed!”

Kori purses her lips. “I think,” she starts, giving an understanding look at the two, “we should let Adrien and Félix decide. They are the most familiar with the Big Butterfly, this Kagami, and the situation as a whole.”

Clearing her throat, Alix roller skates a little closer to others. “Guys, you don't think…” she trails off, trying to find her words but also torn over whether saying it out loud will make it true, “you don't think that's what's happened to Marinette? It would explain why we've heard nothing from her or Roaar since she disappeared.”

“Holy fucking shit! I'm going to burn that fucking bastard and his fucking fashion show to the ground if he fucking dared!” Hisses Jason, his eyes flaring toxic green as the fury of the Lazarus Pit burns in his veins. He digs his nails into the fabric of the sofa and his lips curl into a near-frenzied snarl.

“Woah, woah! Jason, calm the fuck down! That might not be what's happened!” Roy intercepts, grabbing Jason by the shoulder.

Jason turns to glare at Roy. “But it also might be what happened to her!”

“We should go.” Adrien cuts in sharply, “Max can get the rest of you in via hacking. Félix and I will be the distraction, and I'll bring Kaalki so we have a quick escape in case things go wrong. Whilst everyone else who goes to the show needs to focus on getting Kagami out. Then once that's done, we can try and look for anything that suggests they've got Marinette. And if we find Marinette, we get her out as well.”

Félix nods. “That's a good enough plan for me.”

Smiling bitterly, Adrien tilts his head to one side. “So, who else is up for crashing the show?”

Kori, Roy, Artemis, and Alix all exchange glances before nodding.

“Max and I are in!” Markov pipes up, hovering up in a swing.

“That leaves, who's telling Luka, and Bizarro they're holding down the fort this time?” Jason mutters.

“Dibs not it!” Everyone but Artemis calls out.

She rolls her eyes at the antics of the others. “I will tell the two of them their roles for this mission. Don't worry.”

Jason hums. “We could also probably call in a favour with the Sparrow kid that you,” he nods towards Adrien, “and Marinette befriended. Not to hold down the fort but to help cover us at the fashion show?”

“Oh! I'm sure Sparrow will be more than happy to help! That's a great idea!” Adrien cheers, perking up slightly.

Moving over to the coffee table, Félix places the letter down in the centre. “Right. Let's get ourselves ready to crash a fashion show.”

———

Adrien and Félix both don a light disguise. One that's easy enough to recognise them on a closer inspection but subtle enough to not attract immediate attention.

The others, in heavier disguises, had arrived early and gotten in already—split between two teams. One with hacked tickets, and the other through breaking and entering, the gang's speciality. Sparrow had also been more than happy to help and had roped in a few others from their gang, the Quantic Kids, into helping watch the outside of the building.

Leaving Félix and Adrien to arrive together, separate from the rest of the gang; they make sure to arrive slightly late to try and avoid the worst of the crowds. Approaching the doors, they hand over their tickets and try to appear as nonchalant as possible.

The nearest android guard eyes their tickets and puts out a hand. “Wait.”

“Is there something wrong with our tickets, sir?” Félix asks, smiling sweetly enough to hide the undercurrent of threat.

The android guard nods their head at another then looks the two up and down in a scrutinising—analysing fashion. “We have explicit orders to escort anyone with these tickets to the seats.”

Adrien grimaces. “Understood, lead the way then.”

The android guards exchange nods once more, then the one slightly further away pulls out a radio and starts quietly reporting into it, too low for either Félix or Adrien to catch anything. Useful or otherwise.

“Follow me.” Says the nearer one as they start walking away.

Félix sighs and lightly knocks shoulders with Adrien as a reminder of solidarity as well as to get ready. Waiting for only a second, they both start following after the guard. Félix adjusts the secret mic and camera attached to his tie, ensuring that it was now transmitting its feed to Max and Markov, as well as Luka back at base.

Next to him, Adrien does the same with his own tie and attached secret mic and camera.

They're led down a few hallways, up a couple of winding staircases, and down a few more hallways before the guard stops outside a door with a metal sign on it reading: Private.

“Your seats are through here.” The android guard says, slotting a keycard into the door, causing a glowing keypad panel to open up in the centre. Then, the android guard scans a digital code into the door and the door swings open before it.

Adrien nods to the android guard and tugs Félix after him as he strides across the threshold, head held high.

There's a shriek, as they pass through the door, and a body slams into Adrien and it's only thanks to his vigilante instincts that he doesn't drop the body.

“Oh, Adrikins!” Chloé cries out, hugging him tightly. “I can't believe you're back!” She lets go of him for a second to step back and check out his outfit. “Urgh, you could do with some better clothes though. It's fine,” she says, waving a hand, “after today's show we can go on a shopping trip together!”

Adrien smiles awkwardly and unconvincingly responds, “yeah… it's nice to see you again too, Chloé.”

Félix, the traitor, snickers at Adrien's predicament and steps around the two to fully enter the room. The android guard does not follow, and the door shuts automatically behind them.

Inside, is a private bar and lounge with double doors on the far wall, opposite the 'Private' entry door.

Kagami glances up from her place from the sofa against the wall with the double doors. She raises an eyebrow. “It is good to see that you made it here safely.”

“As safe as we could.” Félix grunts, delicately dropping into the seat next to her on the sofa.

She hums, tuning out Chloé's screeching with practised ease. “How are the horse-related magic tricks you were working on going?”

“Pretty well, though I don't suppose Father will be all too pleased with the one I plan to practise tonight,” Félix responds.

Kagami relaxes her shoulders in relief for a split second. “Oh? And what sort of magic trick is it?”

“I've dubbed it: Call a Key. And it's like those pull a rabbit from a hat tricks but with a horse from a hoop.” He says, drawing a circle in the air. A circle that just so happens to be the same size and shape as Kaalki's average portals.

“I see,” Kagami says, nodding, “well, perhaps after tonight's show, you won't mind showing me it so far?”

Félix grins, “I'd love to, Kagami.”

Their conversation lulls into silence, so Félix hops off the sofa and goes over to the private bar to fix himself and Adrien some drinks. Seeing as Chloé was showing no signs of letting his cousin go at the moment. A potential hazard for the plan, he worries. With drinks in hand, he rejoins Kagami by the sofa.

An announcement rings out over the loudspeakers on the walls as the double doors swing open in a slow and controlled manner.

“That, is our cue that the show will be starting soon,” Kagami mutters to him. She takes a deep breath and raises her voice, “Chloé, Adrien, it is time we take our seats for the show.”

Chloé squeals, forcefully dragging Adrien across the private lounge and through onto the balcony where their booth seats are.

Sighing, Félix follows after the two with Kagami a few steps behind him.

“Oh, I'm so glad you managed to make it to today's fashion show, Adrikins!” Chloé exclaims, clutching at Adrien's arm like a hawk and gesturing wildly with the other. “It's so nice of your daddy to hold this show in the theatre so we could have a private booth together to watch the show! And it's going to be a really special show from what I've overheard, Gabriel's débuting a new and upcoming fashion designer! Isn't that so exciting, I'm sure your daddy will let you model for them now that you're back! After all,” she scoffs, “he's letting that peasant fox model for the designer today.”

“Is that so?” Adrien responds, glancing at Félix with deep-seated worry etched into his stare.

Félix clenches his fists and takes a deep breath.

Frowning, Kagami taps Félix on the arm and sends him a questioning glance.

“We'll explain it later.” He mumbles quietly enough for her to just hear.

Below them, the sounds of people taking their seats echoes. A few minutes pass, Félix and Kagami make minor small talk whilst Adrien is forced to listen to Chloé prattle on.

The main lights dim and then go out, plunging the room into darkness. The curtains rise, from the sounds of the heavy and large swathes of fabric moving on the pulleys.

Classical music starts playing—not unlike the music Adrien used to learn on the piano. And one by one, the lights in the shape of asphodels flicker to life on the stage, illuminating a sea of the flowers surrounding a catwalk designed like a river carving through the land. White marble Greco-Esque pillars and arches litter the flower fields. Framing the scene, is the blank white wall at the back of the catwalk and stage. The lighting shifts to cast spotlights on the wall behind the catwalk.

Félix tunes out the rest of the show starting, instead putting all his focus in searching for any security watching their booth, as well as for any sign of Marinette.

The show continues on, slowly models wearing pieces designed like asphodels, butterflies, and cocoons or chrysalises strut up and down the catwalk. The spotlights follow them, making the pieces and models appear to glow under the light.

Luckily, there's no obvious security paying attention to their booth. But that doesn't mean they're in the clear, for all they know, Gabriel could have bugged the place to the rafters. They had worked out before entering, that they'd have to leave before the end of the show. Otherwise, they'd most likely be captured and brainwashed just like Félix's mum.

A new announcement from the stage gives both Adrien and Félix pause, neither having fully caught what was said other than mentions of the reveal of the designer. They tense and try to hide the signs of their anxious anticipation. The flickering flame of hope in their chests threatens to extinguish from the worry that this could be what they feared it to be.

The lights and spotlights on stage all dim; whilst the music fades to a quieter volume. The almost deafening echoing clack-clack-clack of heels against the catwalk seems so much louder than when the models in heels had been walking across it.

Félix holds his breath and clasps his hands together tightly. Adrien leans forwards to get a better look over at the stage. They should be nudging Kagami and getting ready to go by now but they can't will themselves to look away. Like a tragedy; a car catching fire and about to crash.

A figure in a chrysalis dress steps onto the catwalk. Step by step by step, they slowly walk to the end of the catwalk. The faint glow of the lights still perfectly illuminates the figure's face though.

And Adrien's heart stops. “No!”

“What? Is that—?” Chloé starts, only to be interrupted by the cacophonous roar of a standing ovation from the rest of the audience.

Félix, Adrien, and Kagami all pale in horror.

“That's… that's Marinette.” Kagami whispers to Félix, her panic thinly veiled.

Stiffly, Félix nods and swallows a breath of air thickly. “So. Minor change of plans.”

“I can see why.” Kagami responds automatically, in horror.

On the catwalk below, the dress shimmers and appears to crack. Shadowy mist seeping from the cracks is followed by a blinding glow eviscerating the darkness. From the cracks, the outer layers of the dress splinter away, and the layers below begin to unfurl. Bright white, beautiful butterfly wings edged with black and the odd symmetrical red spots.

Gabriel Agreste, Papillon, joins her on the stage. “Isn't this such a momentous and wonderful occasion? Tonight, we have witnessed the eclosion of a new Papillon within the Atelier Agreste. And I'm delighted by the bright welcome Phoebus has received.”

At the call of her Papillon name, Phoebus bows.

Félix's heartbeat pounds in his ears, nearly drowning out Gabriel's words.

Before he, or Adrien, can react, there's a buzzing in his ear from the disguised earpiece comms.

“Félix. Adrien. Get Kagami and get out! Now!” Max's voice filters through, “they're sending a reinforcement of guards towards your location. I'll try to hack them but it'll be close!”

Standing abruptly, Adrien yanks himself away from Chloé's death grip.

“Wha—Adrikins!” She protests, still too shocked by the revelation of the new designer having been Marinette, to try and stop him.

Adrien backs away into the private lounge, flushing red with embarrassment. “Sorry Chloé, I-uh… need to use the men's room. Be-right-back!”

He turns heel and makes his way over to the opposite door and yanks it open.

Félix stares at Adrien in disbelief before nodding at Kagami and grabbing her by the arm. He does not so much run, as speed walk after Adrien.

The second all three of them are clear of the private door's threshold, Kagami kicks her foot back to shut the door behind them. The three then start sprinting down the halls.

The hidden earpiece crackles again. “You three and Jason are the nearest to the backstage where Marinette will be soon. I'll lead the four of you towards the location, just follow my directions and don't do anything stupid once Jason joins you.”

“No promises,” Adrien mutters in response. “I'm seriously considering committing patricide at this point.”

Max doesn't immediately respond, presumably having switched channels to help deal with the others, or get out himself.

Less than a minute later, the earpiece crackles again, but this time it's Luka who starts relaying the directions to the backstage whilst keeping them updated on both human and android guards as well as security camera positions.

“You're halfway there, Jason should be just through the third door on the right.” Luka informs, sounding calm but they know him too well to not hear the veneer of fury beneath every word.

Adrien yanks open the third door on the right open, and lo and behold, Jason is sprinting past the open door in the corridor it leads to.

“Wait up!” Félix hisses after Jason.

It seems Jason manages to hear him and skids on the balls of his steel-toed boots, scratching up the wooden flooring, to stare at them with his green eyes blazing. “Alix was fucking right.” He bites out.

“We are coming with you, to save her.” Kagami states, looking equally furious.

Jason cocks his head to the side. “Then c'mon, we need to run.”

The four exchange nods and glances and burst into a sprint down the hallway, following Luka's directions.

Direction after direction after direction. It feels like Luka relays to them hundreds of those endless directions before the four of them reach a long hallway with double doors at the end that has a large sign above it, labelled: Backstage.

Skidding to a stop again, Jason holds out an arm to stop the others as well. “As much as I want to run in, laser guns a-blazin', who knows what kinda fucking security shit they've got ready for us.”

Adrien grimaces. “But they knew we didn't know that they have Marinette. So why would they prepare security for us rescuing her when they're trying to capture us?”

“Have you forgotten how much security the Big Butterfly placed around my mother, after brainwashing her? Public spectacles like this always involve far too much security around the shining star of the show!” Félix spits acerbically, fists shaking, breathing shallow.

Adrien places a hand on his shoulder. “Worst case situation, we can get Kaalki to get us out and we can try and rescue Marinette another time.”

Jason scowls. “If we're forced to do that, I want to shoot that fucker's skull in first.”

“Technically, shouldn't Adrien get right of shooting him before you?” Kagami asks, half-smiling that awkward smile of hers.

Huffing, Jason nods to Adrien. “Fine, but I dibs second shot then. And if you go for the skull, I'm shooting that bastard in the fucking dick.”

Adrien makes a choking noise and doubles over, barely managing to stifle his laughter. He takes a few deep breaths and wipes tears away from his eyes. “Deal!” He wheezes, “please, I'd like nothing more than for you to get the second shot and do that!”

“Good fucking choice,” Jason mutters in response, a cheeky grin crossing his face for but a second before it falls back to the furious snarl. “Now, let's see what's behind the doors and get our anthill tiger back!”

The earpieces Jason, Félix, and Adrien are wearing, buzz again. “Might want to hurry up.” Luka smoothly informs. “Three human guards are coming your way. And as far as Max can see through his hacking, there's no android guards or drones backstage.” He pauses, “the rest of our gang won't be able to reach you four in time, neither will Sparrow's. You're going solo.”

The four exchange quick glances among themselves. “That's a risk we're willing to take if it means getting Marinette back.”

“I'll keep you updated on any changes. Break a leg or three, especially try to break the Big Butterfly's legs if you can.” Luka responds.

Jason snorts. “We'll try our best.”

The channel goes silent, as Jason quietly opens the backstage doors and the four of them sneak through.

———

The show has ended, by the time the four of them arrive through the backstage doors. Jason spots a rack of clothes and gestures to the others to follow him as he creeps over to hide behind it.

She's there. Marinette—or Phoebus, as the Big Butterfly had called her. There in the centre of the backstage. Standing stock-still. Still dressed in that fucking chrysalis—butterfly dress. Like a creepy human-sized doll.

Jason focuses on his breathing, in and out, in and out, in and out. Trying not to let the sickly radioactive green flood his vision and veins.

He freezes as he watches the Big Butterfly himself stride up to her and circle her like a vulture.

“You did very well today, Phoebus.” The Big Butterfly says, with a sneer on his face. “Unfortunately, my son and Nephew have so rudely absconded from their booth before the show ended.”

The Papillon Phoebus dips her head, and ever so hollowly sounding, replies, “that is most unfortunate.”

It takes all Jason's concentration to not be sick at how empty she sounds and acts. He glances at the others and Kagami, Adrien, and Félix all look sickened by the sight.

The Big Butterfly's sneer morphs into a scowl. “It is indeed. However, Mademoiselle Bourgeois was able to inform us of something very interesting.”

Tilting her head to one side, the Papillon Phoebus stares blankly at him. “Oh?”

“Apparently, my son had quite the reaction to the sight of you on stage, my Papillon. Isn't that interesting.” The Big Butterfly taunts.

She blinks at him then nods slowly and stiffly. “Yes. That is very interesting, Monsieur Agreste.”

His scowl curls into a victorious sneer. “That's what I thought, my dear Papillon.”

Jason shakes, he can't watch any more of this fucking creepy-ass bastard messing with his gang co-leader. He whips both of his recently upgraded guns from their holsters and grips the handles with whitening knuckles.

Before the others can think to stop him, Jason dives out of cover and shoots his twin guns. Pew-pew!

The laser bolts slam into the back of the Big Butterfly, frying two circles into his suit and melting the material to his skin.

The Big Butterfly screams in pain and fury. He pivots in place to turn and glare at where the shots had come from. The light flashes across his glasses again, making the lenses appear opaque. As his gaze latches onto Jason, his victorious sneer splits and twists and unfurls into a monstrous smirk. He starts to laugh, like poison bubbling and frothing from his lips.

And as the Big Butterfly does, Jason catches sight of the glint of small purple flapping around the Papillon Phoebus'—Marinette's—neck.

The bubbling and frothing poison of an Akuma's transformation swirls around her, staining every speck of her and forming a glimmering chrysalis once more.

“Shit! Shit! Shit!” Jason chants under his breath. Eyes wide with instant regret, he taps his earpiece. “We fucked up! Holy fucking shit, we fucked up!”

“What?!” Comes the frantic response from Luka. “What do you mean? What's happened? What did you do?”

Jason laughs nervously, “she's an Akuma! She's been fucking akumatised.”

“Hold on as long as possible, the others got swarmed by guards and can't reach you yet.” Luka frets.

At that, Kagami, Adrien, and Félix all burst out from behind the clothes rack, each with laser pistols also in hand. Zap-zap-zap.

The three more shots ring out but only one hits, Adrien and Félix both shaking too much for theirs to land.

“We shall try.” Félix responds to Luka.

The chrysalis-Akuma-poison coalesces around the Papillon Phoebus before cracking and dripping away. Revealing two large butterfly wings exactly like the dress. Phoebus wings. She flutters her wings and begins to float a metre or so above the ground.

“Fuck!” Jason curses, and behind him he can hear the other three echoing the sentiment. He stares at the purple butterfly chain around her throat. “Akuma is in the necklace!”

A bright light, not dissimilar to a flashbang, pops off. Immediately blinding all four of them.

“Capture them!” The Big Butterfly orders.

Kagami yelps.

The blindness caused by the light fades, and Adrien gasps. Jason swears under his breath again, and he and Félix both fire off more shots. This time towards the Akuma object, as the Big Butterfly has vanished.

Cocooned to the ground, Kagami squirms, trying to free herself from the Akuma's trap.

“Fucking shit!” Jason helpfully says on the earpiece channel. “She's trying to fucking capture us for the fucking bastard! And he's disappeared!” He bodily throws himself to the ground to dodge a mote of brilliant radiance lancing towards him.

The Papillon Phoebus tilts her head to the side, wings glittering with bright golden light like her namesake. Safely blocking the laser blasts towards her object with her massive wings.

Thankfully, only one of Kagami's hands is trapped. And not the one with the gun. As quietly as possible, she shoots the gun to slice through the cocoon and free herself.

The wings start to glow brighter and brighter and brighter.

“Flashbang!” Jason yells, diving behind cover in the form of a cluster of mannequins and slapping a hand over his eyes.

Kagami grabs Adrien and the two duck behind a different rack of clothes. Whilst Félix leaps over a stack of boxes and hides there.

The radiance flares once more, but fails to blind any of them.

“We need to shoot the object. I'll draw the attention at the front. Kagami, get behind and get ready to shoot her in the back as a distraction. Adrien and Félix, you two flank her on opposite sides.” Jason plans quietly into the earpiece channel.

Jason leaves his hiding spot first, vaulting over the cluster of mannequins and shoots a laser bolt at the Papillon Phoebus' necklace again. It's blocked by the wings, as to be expected.

Félix leaps back over the stack of boxes and flanks the Papillon Phoebus on the right. Whilst Adrien rolls out from behind the clothes rack and flanks on the left.

The three in position, shoot simultaneously at the Akuma, as to distract her.

Kagami bolts from her hiding spot and flanks behind the Papillon Phoebus.

The wings start to flutter and glow brighter once more.

“Now!” Jason yells.

Zap!

The blast slams into the Papillon Phoebus' back, right between where her wings connect to her shoulder blades. Instinctively she splays her wings out in pain and curls backwards.

Zap-zap!

Two more blasts slam into her, one in each wingtip.

Zap!

Finally, Jason shoots last and his aim is true. Crackle-snap!

The blast sears through the chain necklace, warping the metal and snapping it in twain.

The two parts of the object clatter to the ground and a purple butterfly claws itself out from the broken chains.

Jason spins his gun in his hand and shoots a final laser straight through the moth. Burning a perfect hole through its wings and killing it instantly. Purple Akuma-goop leaks from its injuries and then fades, leaving behind the scorched corpse of what was once a white butterfly.

He sighs in relief, and quickly taps his earpiece. “Akuma dealt with.”

As he says that, the Akuma de-transforms midair and Marinette collapses to the ground. Limp, like a puppet with their strings cut or a discarded doll—a cracked Pupa.

“Thank fuck.” Luka's responds over the channel, sounding tired.

Jason drags a hand down his face. The green poisoning his vision dissipates for the time being, and he hurries over to Marinette. Ever so carefully, he scoops her into his arms—bridal style—and pulls her close to his chest.

Kagami drops to her knees and breathes.

Adrien weakly punches the air with his gun in hand. “Wooh! Luka, we're calling a key home. Disable security please?”

Félix snorts, moving back to lean against the stack of boxes.

“No need, there's no security cameras backstage. I'll hear your songs when you back at base.” Luka relays, tone light with happiness and relief despite the tiredness. “The others have dealt with the guards, so they're on their way back too.”

Adrien transforms with Kaalki, becoming Cheval Mallet. He walks over to Kagami and offers her a hand. Félix, and Jason with Marinette unconscious in his arms join them.

The portal opens up before them, and they walk through together. Today, they've won another battle. Tomorrow they'll try to find out what has been done to Marinette. But tonight, tonight all the conscious members of the gang huddle together in the lounge. And among themselves, they build a pillow and blanket fort, and relax.

They're all together, and they're all safe, for once.

———

| Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this little fic! Comments, likes, and reblogs are much appreciated! |

| So title dissection, Atelier meaning Fashion Studio comes from the Latin "Astula" meaning "Splinter", Astula also is the Genus for the flower Asphodel. Phoebus as mentioned in the fic is the god of light but it also means "Bright". Eclose is the leaving of a cocoon/chrysalis. Pupa is another term for cocoon/chrysalis when the butterfly/moth becomes soup and goes through metamorphosis. But it also comes from the Latin meaning Girl or Doll. So In the Fashion Studio's Glow, the Bright/Light Doll will be Released. |

| Fun Fact: Larva/Larvae mean Mask or Ghost in Latin. Also the suffix "Arches" means Leader/Ruler. So Jasonarches means Jason-Leader :3 |

| Also feel free to send me any comments with any questions you have regarding this fic, I'll be more than happy to answer! |

| @jasonette-july-event |

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snelbz · 4 years

Text

The Ranch {9}

An A Court of Thorns and Roses, Nesta x Cassian, Modern AU, fanfiction.

Collaboration: @throne-of-ashes-and-beauty x @tacmc

Summary: Nesta had spent years in Paris, living her dream and drowning in riches as a gourmet chef, capturing the hearts of the city and its people. But, after her father passes away unexpectedly and leaves his cozy, countryside B&B to his oldest daughter, Nesta is moving back home to the tiny town of Velaris, where the ranch, her sisters, and her father’s unfulfilled dream, awaits.

Sidenote: Being posted between two blogs, it is too chaotic to keep up with a tags list, so all chapters will be tagged with “#TheRanchNessian” & “#SharaCollab”.

At nine forty five, Cassian heard a knock at his door. He was off the couch and had it flung open before the third rap against the wood.

He was surprised to see Emerie on the other side.

He groaned. “Em, this really isn’t a good time.”

She breezed by him. “It’s a perfect time. Sit down.” She indicated the couch.

Cass just stared at her. “No, you don’t understand, I don’t have time for a quick fu-.”

“Do you love her?” She cut him off and as her words hung in the air, Cassian contemplated them.

“I- No, not yet. But, I-,” he paused and sighed. “No, but I could.”

Emerie’s face softened. “I didn’t mean to cause you problems.” She sat down on the couch and, knowing there wasn’t about to be an ambush, Cassian sat down next to her. “You didn’t answer your phone, so I thought I’d just run by. I’m sorry, I had no idea she was back.”

“It’s not your fault,” he said, and he meant it. Emerie had no way of knowing what she was walking into that day. “It’s not that I don’t like what we’ve had, Em, and we’ve always been great friends-”

“Friends,” she interrupted, chuckling. “Just friends, that’s all we’ve been, what we’ve always been, since high school, so...stop making this sound like a break-up, please.”

Despite his current mood of feeling like shit, Cassian laughed. “Yeah, alright.”

“You should talk to her,” Emerie said, giving him a pointed look. “It was so uncomfortably obvious that she cares about you, too.”

But Cassian shook his head. “I don’t know what that woman feels. She’s already turned me down once….I mean, as things are getting heated and we’re about to have sex, she turned me down.”

Emerie bit on her bottom lip to keep from smiling. “Ouch.”

His eyes narrowed. “Yeah, thanks for not laughing.”

That laughter sputtered out of her mouth, but her eyes were soft as she adjusted herself on the couch to face him. “Look, Cass, I’ve known you for a long time, and I have never seen you look at a woman the way I saw you look at her.”

“What’s your point?” he mumbled, face falling into his hands. “Is it too early for whiskey?”

“Never,” Emerie chuckled, rolling her eyes as she pulled Cassian’s face up to meet her gaze. “It’s never too early. And my point is, dumbass, is that you’re falling in love with her, and if you don’t do something about it, I will personally kick your ass.”

Cassian blinked, staring at her as she held his cheeks in her hands. “I’m pretty sure you missed the part where I said she turned me down.”

“So, what?” Emerie said, shrugging, as if it was nothing more than a minor inconvenience. “Feelings change, and they develop, and Nesta Archeron has feelings for you. That much was obvious when she stared at me with daggers in her eyes.” Emerie’s grin faltered. “It was actually pretty terrifying.”

Cassian laughed, under his breath. “Yeah, she has that effect on people.”

She patted his knee and stood up. “Don’t get me wrong, I hate that our little agreement is coming to a close. Do you know how hard it’s going to be to find someone who can deal with my work schedule and make me cum?” She threw her head back and groaned, but looked back to where he was sitting on the couch. She smirked. “I thought you were supposed to catch feelings for the person you’re actually sleeping with.”

He scratched the back of his neck and said, sheepishly, “Listen, Em, it’s not that I don’t find you-.”

“Oh hush,” she said, heading for the door. “I’m not cut out for the ranch life. This girl was made for the city.” She opened the door, the light from the cabin flooding out and lighting up the front yard. “Now, go talk to her before she goes to sleep.”

————

Nesta watched as the black truck bumped along the driveway, throwing dirt from under the tires. The headlights disappeared into the darkness and she swallowed hard.

She had come back, had spent a good while in Cassian’s cabin, and now she was leaving, once more. Nesta didn’t want to think about what had gone on during their time together, especially after she left things with Cassian hours before, but her mind wandered.

Nesta didn’t know what she hated more: that she had feelings for him, or that she deserved the angry words he’d spat at her that afternoon. He was right. She had shut him down, there was no reason why she shouldn’t want him to be with other women. He deserved as much. Then again, she had thought, had been so certain, that he had felt something for her, too.

She could feel it.

When he looked at her, when those snarky hazel eyes grew soft, she could nearly hear his heart crying out for hers.

Now, as she watched Emerie’s truck disappear, she felt stupid.

That feeling only grew worse as the door to Cassian’s cabin opened again and he stepped out. He spotted her right away, sitting on her little porch in her rocking chair, and swore under his breath. The panic in his eyes didn’t stop him, though, as he trudged down the stairs, hands in his pockets, and meandered toward her across the grass.

Beau, completely unaware of the tension, was running around, wildly, chasing a squirrel.

When Cassian stopped at the bottom of her steps, he said, “Hey.”

The air around them was thick, humid and charged with electricity. Thunder rumbled in the distance. “I… I can’t do this tonight,” she said, voice sounding weary. She stood from the chair and turned to go inside.

“Why do you always run from me?”

She froze, right in front of the screen door. It was a question she had been asked a million times, had asked herself a million times. Why do you always run?

She slowly turned to face him, and was met with such longing and desperation in his hazel eyes. If she walked inside, if she ran away, that would be the end of it.

If she kept running from him, he eventually wouldn’t come back, and Nesta couldn’t bear that thought.

At the bottom of the steps, Cassian was still looking up at her, waiting, patiently, but she didn’t know what to say. There were a million things she wanted to say, but she didn’t know how to put them into words. That overwhelming sense of emotion flooded her, that panic, and her eyes lined with tears. She shook her head, hastily, as she sucked her bottom lip between her teeth to keep it from trembling.

“Fuck, please, just talk to me,” he said, taking a step toward her, putting one boot on the wooden step.

She shook her head and the tears spilled over, staining her cheeks. She laughed, but the sound was empty, hollow. “I hope you had fun with Emerie.”

By the time Cassian realized what she was implying, she’d already started for the door. “Nesta, no, that’s not why she came back.” She shut the door with a soft thud. He heard the lock click into place and he was immediately up the stairs, slamming his fist into the door. “You’re so fucking stubborn, please, just let me explain.”

Nesta kept still, her back against the door as it vibrated from his first forcefully making contact with the wood.

“Please,” he begged, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t put herself in that situation, wouldn't put herself in that situation, not again.

Cassian finally stopped knocking, but when she peeked out of the little window at the top of the door, he was still standing there, his forehead leaning against the door.

“We didn’t do anything,” he called, through the door. “Alright? She came back to tell me I was a fucking idiot.”

Well, she wasn’t going to argue with him there.

Her little house was lit up as lightning struck somewhere on the property, thunder rumbling almost immediately.

“I don’t want her,” he said, and the rain began to fall. Anything else he said was drowned out as the bottom dropped out and the rain began to pour. She could hear that he was still out there, hear that he was still talking to her.

Another flash of lightning, followed by a roll of thunder. It was closer than it had been, that lightning, and Nesta squeezed her eyes shut as the small house shook.

When she reopened them, she leaned back against the door, sliding down it and letting her head fall into her hands resting on her knees.

He hadn’t slept with Emerie. She’d come back, and whether she admitted it or not, she would have if she were her. She knew Emerie wasn’t blind, she could see what was in front of her. But Emerie was stunning herself, with her feminine, soft curves and bedroom eyes.

He hadn’t chosen Emerie.

He didn’t want Emerie.

He wanted her.

And Cauldron damn the consequences, she wanted him, too.

She realized that she could no longer hear him on the other side, could no longer hear anything but the storm outside.

She scrambled to her feet and threw the door open, looking for him.

He was nowhere to be seen.

She cried, “Cassian?” but there was no answer.

She waited, looking out into the pasture, unable to see thanks to the rain and the vast darkness. When she realized she couldn’t find him, she stepped out into the rain and ran.

She hadn’t gotten far when she noticed him, walking up to the main house, Beau on his heels.

“Cassian!” she called.

And he turned around, eyes going wide. He didn’t hesitate as he jogged back toward where she stood, in the middle of the grass, completely drenched.

“What the hell are you doing?” he asked, loudly, to be heard above the downpour. “You should be insi-”

But his words were cut off, because Nesta had taken his face into her hands and pulled his mouth to hers. She kissed him, hungrily, ignoring everything else, ignoring the rain, the lightning, the thunder, the thoughts of insecurity and doubt lingering in the back of her mind.

At first, his body tensed, but it quickly relaxed, and his arms wrapped around her waist.

Nesta had never been good with words, with expressing any sort of emotion, but she would show him how she felt, and would give herself to him to devour, in hopes that he understood. That she trusted him.

Cassian’s lips trailed from her mouth to her neck, as he lifted her up, and her legs wrapped around his waist, just above his jeans. She clung to him, tangled her fingers into his wet, messy hair, as he carried her, slowly, through the storm, back to the ranch house.

He climbed the stairs of the big wraparound porch and pulled open the storm door, neither of them flinching as it widened and creaked loudly. Never once did he let her slip as he managed to unlock the main door and enter, pressing her back against the wall by the door.

One hand was gripping her ass, the other threaded into her drenched hair. He kissed her wildly, passionately, and it left Nesta breathless. If he kissed like this, she wondered what it was like when he fucked.

He pulled away, just enough for them to both gasp for air, and he breathed, “Tell me you don’t want this, and I’ll stop.”

Nesta didn’t say a word. She just leaned up and captured his lips in another bruising kiss.

It was all the permission he needed.

His tongue slid between her lips as he took the hem of her tank top and pulled it over her head, and her hands were already roaming Cassian’s back, feeling the hard muscles beneath the thin fabric of his shirt. He held her up against the wall with his hips as he threw her tank top on the floor, and unclasped her bra, making it scarce.

He admired her breasts then, as he had done those weeks ago, but this time, she wouldn’t tell him to stop.

“What?” She breathed. Her whisper was quiet, almost unable to be heard over the rain outside.

“I’m still waiting for you to disappear, for you to dissolve in my fingertips.” He softly ran a thumb over her peaked nipple. She bit down the moan building inside of her. “I need to know this is real. I need to know that you aren’t going anywhere.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” she breathed, shaking her head, slowly. “I’m not leaving.”

She slid his shirt up, slowly, revealing the black ink swirled across his chest. He lifted his arms, and when his shirt was tossed aside, she ran her fingers over the intricate designs. Cassian watched her, lips parted, breathing ragged.

“I want you,” she whispered, her hands going still, and when her eyes connected with his, her delicate fingers trailed lower, down his abdomen, to the waistband of his jeans, where they slowly undid the button, the zipper.

Cassian grabbed her wrists and pulled them back up, over her head. His body pressed hers harder against the wall, and her legs wrapped tighter around him as he whispered, “Thank the fucking Cauldron.”

He kissed her with a gentleness she wasn’t expecting, loving the way his lips were constantly moving against hers, on her skin. Tasting, teasing, taunting. When he kissed a path down the column of her throat and his lips closed around the spot where her neck met her shoulder, she was no longer able to stop the moan that she let out.

That moan was Cassian’s undoing.

He kissed her with such a ferocity that she was unable to stop her hips from writhing.

She pulled away, gasping. “Please, please, please.” He released her wrists and her arms wrapped around him, nails scratching at his back. “Cassian, please.”

His eyes met hers, wild and desperate, but he said nothing. His chest rose and fell with every breath. At last, he nodded, slowly, after searching her eyes, once more.

I’m not going anywhere.

Gods, she meant it.

He carried her to the couch, his eyes on hers as he walked, his breath hot against her skin. She clung to him, desperately, afraid if she let go something would happen, again.

Cassian fell back on the couch, and Nesta straddled his waist, fully aware of how hard he’d become inside of his jeans. He went to kiss her, but she pushed him back, and when a look of confusion crossed Cassian’s face, she smirked.

She stood, between his open legs, and unbuttoned her jean shorts before slipping the soaked denim down her legs. Cassian watched attentively with a primal gaze. With an outstretched, steady hand, he traced the lines of her thong with his fingertips.

“Perfect,” he breathed, so quietly that Nesta wondered if he even knew he spoke the thought aloud.

“Your turn,” she said, as he teased a finger in the waistband of the lace.

He looked up at her, letting his eyes rove over her body. His tongue darted out, wetting his bottom lip, and he stood.

One by one, he toed his drenched boots off and kicked them to the side, not caring where they landed and unzipped his jeans the rest of the way. He paused, catching Nesta staring, and when he caught her eye, he smirked and shucked his heavy jeans off.

Nesta forgot how to breathe. She forgot how to move. She forgot how to do anything that didn’t include worshipping the body before her in any way possible.

She blinked away the shock and cleared her throat, before saying, “So. You don’t wear underwear?”

That smirk hadn’t left his face and he said, “Oh, I do, they’re in my jeans. I just couldn’t wait any longer to see your reaction to…” His eyes flicked down to where his cock stood at attention.

Nesta huffed a laugh and shook her head, tiptoeing closer to him. Her fingers brushed along his chest, and she walked around him to finish observing the view. Her fingers trailed down his shoulder, down his back, across his ass - his beautiful, perfect, sculpted ass. He shuddered beneath her touch.

This Nesta, this beautiful, emboldened woman, this was his Nesta from the pasture earlier. Someone who isn’t afraid to laugh and touch and play. And play they would.

As she stepped back around him, Cassian scooped her up in his arms and dropped her on the couch. Before she had time to orient herself, he was there again, this time on top of her. He gave her just enough of his weight to press her into the cushions, to keep her in place, lips crashing into hers. His hand skimmed down her side, leaving goosebumps in its wake, until he reached the lace of her panties. He ran a finger under the front waistband and then traced it over the fabric, over her most sensitive area. She whimpered against his lips, his kiss drowning out any sounds she made. Pulling the fabric to the side, he slipped a finger between her folds, her slick heat meeting him.

He broke the kiss, growling, “You’re fucking soaked.”

Nesta’s eyes fluttered shut, her lips open. “You’ve been teasing me.”

“The only tease here is you,” he growled, pumping his finger inside of her, then two, and three, as his lips found her neck and trailed down her body. He took the waistband of the thin lace into his teeth and pulled them down.

Cassian didn’t warn her as he spread her legs attached his mouth to her sex. He circled her clit with his tongue, still pumping his fingers in and out of her and he listened as her moans echoed around the empty house. Pulling his lips away, he pressed his thumb to her clit as he slid his fingers in and out of her. He turned his head to the side and kissed the inside of her thigh, sucking and teasing. Without warning, he bit the sensitive skin, causing Nesta to cry out and clench around his fingers.

He groaned at how tight she was, the way she tasted, the way she smelled and the noises she made. He kissed a path back up her body, still pumping his fingers in and out, faster and faster every time. His lips brushed hers and he breathed, “Are you close?” Yes,” she breathed, unable to control her voice, unable to control any of the noises pouring out of her mouth. “Fuck, yes. Fuck me.” Her words were shaky, unstable. She wanted him inside of her, needed him inside of her, couldn’t think of anything else.

“Say ‘please’,” Cassian crooned. He stilled his fingers inside of her and at her disappointed whimper, he brushed his fingertip over that elusive spot inside that Nesta had only dreamed of. She gasped and began to writhe, chest heaving, and he could tell she was right on the edge of ecstasy. He stopped with no warning.

Nesta snapped her head up to look at him. “Wha- Why did you stop?

“Do you want to cum?”

“Cauldron, yes,” Nesta groaned. It had been so long since something had given her an orgasm that wasn’t made of plastic or her own hand.

He slowly stroked inside her once more, then began to slowly roll his thumb over her clit. “Then all you gotta say is ‘please”, darlin’.”

Nesta could hardly get the word out. “Please.” Her voice broke, hardly able to form words over every other sound tumbling from her mouth.

“I can’t hear you,” Cassian whispered, thumb rolling faster. Nesta cried out. “Say please.”

Her back arched as her fingers dug into his dripping hair. “Please!” she gritted out, eyes shut, yanking on his hair with such force that he groaned.

Her body felt lighter, like she was floating on air, as the tension in her body slowly began to fade.

She cried out as she came around his fingers. He pumped slower as she did so, watching her eyes widen as her climax took hold. She worked to steady her breathing as her eyes fluttered shut, and his fingers moved, slowly, tauntingly, in and out. When Cassian pulled his fingers out, Nesta’s eyes shot open, just as he moved them to his mouth and sucked off her juices.

Her chest was heaving and her eyes slipped closed as she caught her breath. Cassian couldn’t help but stare at her body; at the tight, sleek lines of her toned stomach; at her long, tanned legs; at her pretty, pink pussy, which was the best fucking thing he’d ever tasted. But her breasts…

Gods, those fucking breasts.

Those breasts had been on his mind every time he’d had to take care of himself in the past few weeks, but seeing them again, tasting them, watching them move with every steadying breath she took…

“You’re thinking about fucking my tits, aren’t you?”

Cassian’s gaze snapped to hers, smirking at him from where she’d propped herself up on her arms.

His eyebrow raised and he said, “I wasn’t, but now I definitely am.”

She laughed, and sat up on the couch, letting him sit down next to her. He didn’t know why he was expecting it to be awkward, why he was expecting her to have changed her mind and run buckass naked out into the storm.

He wasn’t expecting her to flip over and lay on her stomach, breasts pressed against his thighs. He wasn’t expecting her to reach a delicate hand out and grip his cock. And he sure as fuck wasn’t expecting her to wrap those full lips around the head and suck.

But that’s exactly what she did.

He stared, watching her intently, their eyes connected. He was fairly certain he wasn’t breathing as her tongue slowly danced around the head of his cock. His head fell back against the couch cushions, his eyes slowly closing.

The sound that left his body was inhumane as his dick filled her mouth, her head bobbing up and down, that wild tongue gliding over his sensitive skin.

His abdomen contracted as she took him farther into her mouth, and he swore under his breath as his eyes opened and he stared down at her. He could swear there was a laughter in her eyes as she continued to bob her head up and down his considerable length.

“Are you trying to tease me now?” He asked, voice husky. She hummed in response and the vibrations had one of his hands gripping her hair in a hand. The other, he reached over and gripped her ass, firmly squeezing. Her eyes widened in surprise. “Because two can play that game, sweetheart.” He pressed his hand between her legs and trailed a finger along her entrance, swirling it around her clit.

She moaned, lips still around his cock and she nearly swallowed him whole.

He swore, voice low, his fingers intertwined into her hair gripping the strands with far more force, causing Nesta to whimper against him.

All he could think about was how he would feel inside of her. She was so wet, so ready, and he was nearly about to combust.

She moaned around his cock, her eyes shut desperately as the finger he used to circle her clit kept steady.

He gently rolled his hips into her mouth. She gagged, eyes flying open to meet his, once more, as one of her hands met his thigh, nails gripping into his tanned skin, the other cupping his balls.

“If you keep doing that,” he growled, eyes nearly black in his lust for her. “I’m going to be coming down your throat instead of on your tits.”

Nesta removed him from her mouth, nearly gasping for air as the head popped out of her mouth. The second she had moved, he was gripping her shoulders, pulling her onto his lap, his lips crashing into hers. She ground down against him, his erection sliding against her opening, so close to where she needed him.

He gripped her hips and rocked her back and forth against his length, the tip rubbing her clit with every pass, causing her eyes to flutter shut as he brought her right to the peak again.

“Are you close, Nesta?” The words were a hiss, his teeth clenched together. Her head was thrown back, chest heaving. She nodded. “Do you want me to fuck you?”

She groaned, “Gods, yes, please.”

Without warning, he lifted her hips and slammed his cock inside of her.

She cried out, her fingernails digging into his shoulders to keep from losing herself completely. His name tumbled from her lips, nearly lost in the continuous moan that she couldn’t control. She rode his length, as Cassian held onto her hips, his face nestled between her breasts. He bit into her skin, nipped at her tits with gentle teeth as he groaned, voice low, shamelessly. His curses filled the air as Nesta clenched around his cock.

He breathed her name, and Nesta felt ready to explode into a million pieces.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he groaned, burying his face between her breasts. His hands moved farther back, gripping the swell of her ass and Nesta bounced quicker and quicker. “Are you going to come again?”

“Yes, yes,” she gasped, wrapping her arms around his head, nearly suffocating him with her tits.

He’d stopped moving, content to let her use him for her pleasure. He lavished her skin, his tongue circling her peaked nipple and he sucked it into his mouth. She clenched around him, moaning his name, and watching her unravel around him, letting her use him as her own personal sex toy, it felt almost as good as ramming his cock into her had felt.

Almost.

As she shattered, as her climax tore through her and she cried out, his name a prayer on her lips, he gripped her ass and stood.

Her back hit the wall and she moaned as he fucked her with no abandon, slamming into her at a relentless, unforgiving pace. His lips found her neck, followed by his teeth and he sucked, unable to stop himself from leaving a mark, from claiming the beautiful woman in his arms for all to see.

Nesta’s hand roamed his back, the other tangled into his damp hair. Her lips tumbled open, but nothing came out as his hips continued to thrust into hers. A string of curse words were muttered into the skin of her neck.

She clung to him, eyes snapped shut, unable to breathe as he groaned into her neck. His lips left her skin as he abruptly pulled out, then he fell into her body as he came, his hips moving slowly as his cock slid beneath her, between her folds, riding out his climax.

He fell against her then, eyes closed, lips still open against her neck, unmoving. She could feel his heart beating against her as they tried to catch their breath in the silence, nothing but the storm raging outside and heavy, shaking, panting to be heard.

“Fuck,” he finally breathed, lifting his head to look at her. There was nothing but pure ecstasy in those stormy eyes. He carefully set her on her feet and stepped back, watching as she leaned heavily against the wall. He smirked. “Legs not working?”

Her response was a breathy chuckle. “No, not quite. I don’t think they’ll be back to normal until tomorrow morning.”

Cassian let his gaze travel down her body, pausing as he saw the trail of mosisture running down her thighs, a mix of both her and him. The sight had his cock hardening again already.

“Oh, darlin’,” he crooned, pulling her against him and nipping at her earlobe. “What makes you think you’ll be getting any rest between now and tomorrow morning?”

Nesta chuckled, letting him scoop her up into his arms, her legs wrapping around his waist.

His eyes met hers, and he kissed her, once, before she whispered, “Take me upstairs.”

________

There was no more fucking. Nesta was fairly certain if there was she wouldn’t be able to walk for a week.

But he had carried her upstairs and laid her down in her old bedroom. They found themselves beneath the blankets, the rain pouring outside the large window as they laid awake in a comfortable silence, Nesta wrapped in Cassian's arms.

Which is exactly where she woke up.

He was still asleep, one of his long, heavy legs draped over her, holding her in place. His handsome face looked almost boyish in peaceful sleep, and Nesta hesitated to disturb him, but the sun had been creeping across the wall for almost thirty minutes now.

She pressed soft kisses to his cheeks, over the stubble dusting his jaw, to his forehead and eyelids, until he began to stir.

He groaned as his eyes fluttered open. He met Nesta’s amused gaze with a sleepy one of his own.

“Good morning,” he muttered, voice raspy, quiet, burying his face back into the pillow.

“Good morning,” she whispered.

Beau had made himself comfortable after helping himself through the doggy door the night before after they’d left him outside in the rain due to their beautiful, lustful distraction. He was now sleeping soundly at the foot of the bed.

Cassian reached up and brushed Nesta’s hair out of her face. For a moment, neither of them said a word. Then, Cassian asked, “Sleep good?”

“Yeah,” she smiled. Perfect.

“Good,” he breathed. “Me too.”

“You look like you’re surprised I’m still here,” she mumbled, and Cassian’s fingers froze from where they were trailing down her cheek.

Then he laughed, quietly. “Not surprised. Happy, though.” He tentatively leaned in and brushed his lips against hers, gauging her reaction. When she responded, letting her lips move against his own, he rolled on top of her, running a hand down her still naked body. He paused and pulled away, looking at the window. “Shit, what time is it?”

“Like, six-fifteen,” she admitted.

Cassian’s eyes went wide. “I have to get up, I didn’t mean to sleep this late.”

Nesta’s smile was soft. “I figured. You go get started, I’ll make you some breakfast.”

A dark eyebrow rose. “Sex and breakfast? What’s the catch?”

Nesta stilled from where she was rolling off the bed. “Do you want there to be a catch?”

Cassian grinned. “No.”

“Then don’t ask questions,” she said, laughing under her breath as she scurried from the room, fully aware that Cassian was watching her go.

Ten minutes later, she stood in the kitchen, wearing her mother’s robe once again, a pot of coffee brewing in the corner, and bacon sizzling in the pan on the stove. A pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist, and she jumped slightly as he rested his head on her shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” he chuckled. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

She shook her head. “I just didn’t hear you. I sometimes space out when I’m cooking.”

She transferred the bacon to a plate, dabbing it with paper towels to remove the excess grease, before cracking three eggs directly into the pan. He poured himself a cup of coffee and watched her as he pulled his boots on. She glanced over her shoulder and looked at him, biting down the laugh that tried to bubble out of her.

His clothes were horribly wrinkled from where they’d been thrown to the side last night, but at least they were dry.

She pulled a couple of tortillas from the fridge and wrapped the food, handing him the two warm bundles. He took them and smiled. She smiled back.

An awkward silence filled the kitchen and they looked at each other and started laughing. He cupped her cheek in his hand. “Let me take you to dinner tonight.”

Her eyes widened in surprise and she nodded, a grin spreading across her face. “I’d like that.”

#the ranch nessian #shara collab #shara tag #tacmc x throne of ashes and beauty #toab tacmc collab #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf #nessian

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prouvaireafterdark · 4 years

Text

To the Start of Forever

Michael tells Alex all about the future he sees for them—dad band included.

Sidenote: I set this in my Michael Sanders AU because I couldn’t think of a moment when canon Michael would have shared this with him, given what we know about when Michael gave up his dreams, but you don’t necessarily have to have read those to understand or enjoy this!

Also on AO3!

***

“What are you thinking about?”

Michael lifts his head from Alex’s chest so he can smile up at him. They’ve been lying in the bed of Michael’s truck for hours now, trading kisses and touches with nothing but the night sky overhead.

“You,” Michael says simply, and he can’t help but be struck by how beautiful Alex looks smiling down at him, bathed in starlight. Michael’s sure he’s never been more in love.

“Oh yeah?” Alex asks, his smile turning suggestive as he gently rolls Michael over onto his side and slips down the makeshift bed so they can lie face to face. Michael feels Alex’s knee knocking forward against his own and Michael lets him in, a surge of want rising inside him as Alex’s right thigh slides further between his legs. He lets Alex kiss him too, his eyes drifting closed as he feels Alex’s impossibly soft lips move against his. When the kiss ends, he feels Alex’s breath against his mouth for a moment before he asks in a low voice that makes Michael shiver, “Wanna tell me what’s on your mind specifically?”

Michael opens his eyes to see Alex watching his mouth. He can tell Alex is expecting to hear something sexual, is just waiting for the moment he gets permission to press Michael back into their nest of blankets and slide more thoroughly between his thighs, but that’s not quite where Michael’s head is. Not now. Not yet.

Michael considers lying to him, considers leaning in to whisper sweet nothings about all the things Alex could do to him to save himself from being laid bare in an entirely new and terrifying way, but when he opens his mouth it’s the truth that comes out.

“Our future,” Michael answers.

Shock is the first thing Michael registers on Alex’s face, and his heart feels like it’s caught on a landmine in the few seconds it takes for that look to melt into something warm and fond and maybe even a little nervous.

“What, um… what do you see there?” Alex asks, shuffling even closer.

“Well… to start, we’ll go to college,” Michael says. He’s already accepted UNM’s scholarship, and with Jesse out of their lives for good Alex is free to go to any one of the schools he’s gotten into, so that part at least is certain. “I’ll get my degree in agricultural engineering at UNM, maybe do a PhD after.”

“I hear they’ve got a great music department, too,” Alex says, and excitement bubbles up inside Michael immediately.

“You want to go to UNM with me?” he asks, smiling wide. He’s been trying not to think about it, but the idea of Alex moving halfway across the country to go to school has been slowly eating away at him. After seeing him practically all day, every day, Michael doesn’t think he could handle that kind of separation.

Alex nods. “How could I not?”

Overcome with joy, Michael leans forward to kiss him, but they’re both smiling so hard it doesn’t last more than a few seconds.

“Okay, okay,” Michael starts excitedly when he pulls away, “so we’ll room together then.”

“You think they’ll let us do that?” Alex asks, a wide smile of his own on his face.

“They better,” Michael says a little indignantly. “I’m not sure I even can sleep without you at this point.”

It’s perhaps a bit of an exaggeration, but Alex doesn’t call him on it. Besides, Michael doesn’t think he’s the only one that really doesn’t want to go back to sleeping alone.

“Okay, so we’ll room together,” Alex agrees. “What else?”

“We’ll, um, we’ll graduate, get good jobs,“ Michael continues, reaching out for Alex’s hand where it’s resting on the blankets between them. “We’ll buy a nice place together, something with a studio so you can work on your music, and I’ll…” He hesitates, eyes flicking down to watch where he’s tracing the space right below Alex’s knuckle on the ring finger of his left hand. When he meets Alex’s eyes again, he finds the courage to say, “I’ll ask you to marry me.” Alex’s mouth drops open on a soft gasp and Michael swallows his nerves to add, “And I really hope you’ll say yes—”

“Of course I’ll say yes, Michael,” Alex interrupts him, conviction in his voice as he grasps Michael’s hand tightly in his and leans forward to gently knock their foreheads together. “I love you.”

Michael’s heart feels so fucking full he could cry. He couldn’t stop himself from leaning in to kiss Alex again even if he wanted to, caught up in the overwhelming feeling of being in love with someone who loves him back, who can lie beside him and listen to his vision of their future and feel the rightness of it in his soul.

Michael’s still floating on that feeling when the kiss ends and when he looks into Alex’s eyes, Michael knows he has one more thing to add.

“And we’ll start a family,” he says, sounding a little wistful. “Maybe a dog to start, and then a couple of kids once we’re settled.”

“You want kids with me?” Alex asks, sounding surprised.

“I want everything with you,” Michael confesses. “Why?” he asks, suddenly insecure when Alex doesn’t say anything right away. “Do you not want kids?”

“It’s not that,” Alex quickly reassures him and Michael releases a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “I’ve just never really seen myself as dad material. I don’t even know if I’d be a good one.”

“Alex, no offense, but that’s ridiculous,” Michael says, his mind revolting against the very idea that Alex would be a bad father. “If I could have your babies myself, I would.”

Alex laughs softly, but Michael shakes his head and squeezes Alex’s hand to get his attention.

“I’m serious,” he insists. “You’re kind and sweet and so patient, even when it’s hard to be. You’re gonna be an amazing dad, and I can’t wait to see it.”

“Really?” Alex asks, something vulnerable there behind his eyes. Michael doesn’t need to guess who put it there.

He feels a spark of anger ignite inside him—as if he needed another reason to hate Jesse Manes—but Michael snuffs it out as quickly as it comes. That man has no part in their future or this conversation and Michael won’t bring him up, not for anything.

“Yes,” Michael says emphatically instead. Alex’s answering smile is soft and pleased, and Michael can’t stop his mind from running wild with possibilities. It settles on one image in particular and his grin widens before he continues, “I can’t wait to watch you sing our kids to sleep every night, it’s gonna be so fucking cute.”

“Only if you play the guitar while I sing,” Alex teases.

“Of course,” Michael smiles. “We’ll start a little dad band, it’ll be great.”

“A dad band,” Alex laughs. “God, they’ll hate us when they’re teenagers.”

“Yeah, probably,” Michael chuckles before his smile wanes into something soft and sincere. “But I bet they’ll love us too.”

Michael watches that insecurity crop up again as Alex sobers right along with him and asks, “You think so?”

“I do,” Michael says, raising Alex’s hand toward his face so he can kiss his knuckles. “Because I know we’ll love them. That’s gotta count for something, right?”

He knows it’s the right thing to say when Alex smiles again, his eyes shining in the moonlight.

“Yeah,” Alex whispers, moving close enough that their noses brush. “Yeah, it does.”

#malex #malex fic #michael guerin #alex manes #malex fluff #my fic #michael sanders #i just HAD TO

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selfcareparker · 3 years

Note

(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

#lovely anon #<3333333333333 #‚‘it‘s literally longer than your german compound words‘ LMAODKDMSLDKSLKS #ignore the comma at the beginning of the last tag????#aww wait i just read what you said at the end of your tags🥺🥺💘💘💘#love youuuu #ooooof i‘m reading my response and do i not know what a period is? like period as in. full stop.#my sentences are literally paragraphs and i use keyboard smashes to separate sentences from each other like what‘s wrong with me???#or ‚lol‘ snd ‚lmao‘#imma need me to do better (did you listen to heavy is the head as a whole? like the whole album? the song do better is stuck in my head toda #today so)#i‘ll try to write normal length sentenced in the future💀#sentencessss*

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uglypastels · 4 years

Text

To the Beat - Headcanons

(a/n) right, so here are just some headcanons/vague ideas of how i imagined the band play their songs. Either at the specific concert or in general in the future once they had grown more comfortable on stage and a bigger fanbase etc.

Also, I have no idea if this makes sense but I had all these ideas in my head that i needed to get out and on to “paper”, so i thought then why not just share it :)

Read part 1 here <---> part 2 here

If you want any other hc about the band :) just send an ask. cause this might be my new favorite au and i would love to do some further world building lmao.

The Band setlist

headcanons below cut

MR BRIGHTSIDE (The Killers)

So, Harrison starts playing on the guitar, and then the drums follow after a few beats just like in the original. Harrison sings the first verse, but Harry comes in with the harmonies in the lines like “gotta gotta be down” and “How did I end up like this?”

Then I feel like there could be more harmonies in the pre-chorus, but the chorus itself is sung by Haz, with Tom and Harry doing like matching back up vocals (ooohs and stuff like that).

The second verse is sung by Harry, with harmonies done by Haz. Then at the line with the pre-echo of “(it was only a kiss) It was only a kiss” Tom is the one to say it. -

(sidenote, i feel, like if they performed it more, he would get more confidence into and would start improvising shit that would totally not match the song and harry would either go along with it or just ignore him. Either way, funny shit.)

Harry would sing most of the second pre-chorus, but the other two would join him in the last line “and taking control”. Then Harrison sings the final chorus. And Tom would do the echoes the song ends on (the repeated “I never”s)

THE INVISIBLE MAN (Queen)

Harrison sings most of it, but like, really close to the microphone, so he doesn’t have to sing it very loudly.

You just know Harry is having the time of his life during this song with the bass. Especially after the intro and there is that part of just bass and drums. Tom and Harry love it.

(also Tom does the adlibs through the verses and he shouts something randoms, but not through the mic, just into the void lol we love our adlib king)

Then during the chorus, Tom and Harry whisper-sing “I’m the invisible man”

So the bridge is a bit more aggressive so Harry would sing that, headbanging like crazy when given the time.

The guitar solo… honestly, I don’t know what to say about that without becoming a puddle. K byeee.

Basically they would go all out and be super extra, making Freddie Mercuy proud.

YOU OUGHTA KNOW (Alanis Morissette)

So, this is Tom’s song. It starts off with a snare drum and he sings softly, but angry just like Alanis. And the rhythm just fits considering he would also have to drum. Then the second part of the verse, he gets louder.

Haz and Harry do the pre-chorus in harmonies, with Tom shouting out the No in “To be open wide, no” Then the last two lines are for Harry (“ ‘til you died, until you died, but you’re still alive!”) and he shouts them out to transition into the chorus which he also sings.

Then then the second verse is also sung by Tom. It basically follows the same formula as the first part.

After the second chorus, there is that kind of echo which Haz sings. The bridge is Tom’s part again. Harry sings the last two choruses again but then the last “you, you, you oughta know” is sung much softer for the DRAMA.

ARE YOU GONNA BE MY GIRL (Jet)

The cough. You know that one of them would do the cough. But never at the right moment though.

This is another song that Harry loves to perform because its super bass… based, so he grabs at at the attention and gets super extra at the intro. Tom would just be vibing at the beat really. Then the guitar riff comes in and everyone just *swoons* and Harry comes in with the WhOO!

Harrison also goes all out, playing to the audience, but then for every line he would lean into the microphone, really close and then jump off it to the back, just to come back in at the next line. I don’t know how to describe but.. That. And he would change his tone where it fits so in the second line of “say you look so fine, that I really wanna make you mine” he would end it all husky probably. And he would most definitely try to spot someone hot in the crowd and sing the next line to them with a wink (Now you don't need the money/When you look like that, do ya honey?) and his voice would go all deep and oof yeah. Just sex all around for him, really.

Harry would finish off the pre-chorus and shout his way through the chorus like the energetic weirdo that he is (how he still has a voice at the end of it all is large mystery).

Then the drum stops for Tom to catch a moment, not that he really needs it, and he says the “Are you gonna be my girl?” and then I die basically.

And then after the second chorus, the guitar starts and Tom stands up to clap, letting the audience to follow. And (hopefully) they continue with it through the rest of the song.

BREAK MY HEART (Dua Lipa, cover version of HEY LIFE)

The song would either start with a bass actually or a guitar that is a bit higher than the one in the playlist i set. They wouldn’t play it as metal-y. Harrison sings, holding on to that mic Harry is living his life with the bass.

Then they all sing the first half of the pre-chorus in harmonies and it sounds amazing. The other half is for Harrison.

The first few lines of the chorus “I would've stayed at home/'Cause I was doin' better alone/But when you said, "Hello"/I know that was the end of it all” is like an acapella monotone singing… I don’t know music terms okay, deal it with <3 but then they repeat it with the instruments and harmonies.

It all kind of repeats itself in the same formula, I think. Then there’s a bit of a solo at the end of the second??? chorus so that would go to Harrison. And the bridge they’d sing together again. And there are some like background lines?? That would probably be Harry :) why did I make him the loud chaotic one?? I have no idea but try and tell me that I’m wrong. He’d go through like 6 bottles of water cause ya boy’s gotta STAY HYDRATED

MISS YOU (The Rolling Stones)

Right, so like in the fic, audience participation in the best way possible. They teach the crowd what to sing and how to sing it. So the ooohs and yadda yadda at the intro and through the rest of the song. It has a fucking great beat too so everyone is just VIBING to it and it’s a party. Harrison is doing his best with his cursive™ singing lol. No one really understands what he’s saying but we’re here for it. Then Harry signs towards the crowd to sing and its loud and amazing and the connection!!

Then later on tom and harry to the back up vocals again and it just sounds like two little angels.

There is a part where it’s kind of slam poetry lol, about walking in central park or something (idk the song that well oops) anyway, that part is Harry’s.

The saxophone solos are obviously changed into a guitar solo, or a bass, or drum, whichever guy is quicker each show. Then the crowd joins in again cause they can’t help it and that little ooooh/aaaah will be stuck in everyones head for the rest of the week (just like it happened to me after i went to the Rolling Stones concert, people were still singing it in the train on the way home and that is exactly the vibe we are going for here)

WILDFLOWER (5 Seconds of Summer)

So it’s been established that these boys do nothing but exude sex through their entire performance and this song is no exception. They start of very sweet with the wild-wildflower but from their, straight into the sin bin. Harrison is singing

(ngl i did base him a lot on Luke Hemmings in this fic so I just had to put in a 5SOS song- even though calum sings it but do not ruin this for me OKAY)

In the meantime, Tom is clapping along, getting the crowd to do it, though he has to make sure the people actually stay in rhythm so it doesn’t fuck up the song. Then in the pre-chorus its Tom and Harry as back-up, still for Harrison to take the lead. Until the last sentence where its Harry coming in with the “I know where tonight is going!”

But here’s the thing. The song goes “You're the only one who makes me- Every time we-” and then there’s the added “Tell you what I like” which Tom is SUPPOSED to sing, but as we have established, he’s a little shit and he loves to mess around, so he would shout out weird stuff out when he got the chance, but if he couldn’t think of it, then he’d at least take it to the stage to finish Haz’ sentence. So when he sings “You’re the only one who makes me-” Tom nicely finished is it and shouts “HARD”

Also I think Harry would be bopping around with his bass to the drum, cause how can you not.

SEVEN NATION ARMY (The White Stripes)

Right so here is Harrison, aka our cursive singing king, thriving. The first part of the song doesn’t even use guitar so he’s just at the microphone chilling, most definitely brushing his fingers through his hair, maybe rolling up the sleeves of his shirt. Does he need to do it? No, but who minds it? Exactly, nobody.

But then when the guitar does finally start he is oFFFFF. Putting so much into it.

Tom also most definitely goes far and beyond drumming to this. it’s a simple beat but he just drums with all his body. At the begining of every verse, where its just the bass drum, you can see him step on that fucking pedal.

and then he adds on the other drum (idk terms, let me be) but he moves his head to each beat and he hits it fucking hard okay, so MUSCLE uhum uhum, yeah.

And there’s another classic bassline in here so Harry is thriving like any time he gets to shine <3

CALIFORNICATION (Red Hot Chili Peppers)

So this was a slower song to kind of level all the songs that had been super energetic.

It’s simply the moment where all of them can relax a bit. maybe some of the audience will turn on their flashlights. Not that the song really needs that, but its fun, so why not.

Harrison is at it again with the cursive, tho not as much here. He also plays around at the end of the verses, lengthening the notes and stuff. idk, making it fancy

They put in more distinct harmonies at the chorus “Dream of Californication”

then there are the back up Ooooh’s in the other verses. love those.

they might cut the song short, stopping before the last verse, just where its the soft guitar plating and they faded out and its time for another break :)

CHELSEA DAGGER (The Fratellis)

So they don’t actually play this song. It was something that came accidentally. They probably don’t even know the name of the song. But its just one of those things that everyone kinda knows. So during a break one of the 3 is fucking around on their instrument and the other two join in, still clueless, and suddenly its the crowd that does the dudududud’s and there ya go, Chelsea Dagger. Just a little quickie to get everyone pumped up again after a slower song.

SEX ON FIRE (Kings of Leon)

Harrison’s cursive singing strikes again, but at this point we’re all living for it. It’s also the song where he’s a bit louder and gets up there together with Harry’s voice lol.

Then Tom sings the chorus, since this is all my self indulgence and I want him to sing the words “your sex is on fire” over and over again. sue me.

But like, he tenses up when he sings, getting it in that right emotional range, and he’s still drumming and it’s all very very hot.

maybe the light technicians set the lights on red or orange <3

MISS ALISSA (Eagles of Death Metal)

Here’s my idea: they all had a veto on picking one song each for the set list and the rest had to be voted on together

(Harrison’s would be ---- and Tom’s would be You Oughta Know, cause he angsty like that sometimes).

Harry picked this song simply because its fucking fast and it was a struggle for the other two lol. It’s basically just drums and guitar so Harry is singing and clapping, with his bass on his back, while tom is basically dying from this repeated beat, playing it nonstop for 3 minutes straight while his fucking brother is jumping around on stage.

And the ‘you aint dancing’ at the end is definitely directed at Tom.

To which Tom would nicely respond with flipping his brother off :)

RUBY (Kaiser Chief)

My sweet baby angels they start with the tadata’s together

And Harry sings the verse and the chorus, with Tom and Haz doing the back up vocals.

Cause he sings the most of this song, he sometimes slacks with the bass, just letting it go all together, to hold on to the mic (or taking it with him and dancing around the stage during the chorus)

and during the bridge he could very well bend down to sing to the audience directly

so the people *swoon* once again

and he would be deep in eye contact with someone for that bridge, just for the chorus to start again and he’d jump up and be all bouncy again. we love variety

in short, this concert would not be good for my heart

STAR GIRL (McFly)

The only real reason why the chose this song is cause they’re 12 year old boys and the lines of the second verse made them laugh (there’s nothing on Earth that can save us, when i fell in love with Uranus) and i mean, who can blame them. But its also just a really fun song that the crowd can easily join into as well - gotta love the whoohoo-oooo’s .

And speaking of, after the bridge and trumpet/in this case guitar solo, there’s a few counts of silence. You can bet that the audience misses it by like half a beat which the boys enjoy immensely. Sometimes they would even go out of their way to make the pause even longer to mess with people.

But basically, the do end up loving this song, especially Tom and Harry. they have possibly argued about who sings which part, so they end up just switching through shows (tho Harry gets to do the bridge, since he has the loudest voice<3)

COME TOGETHER (The Beatles)

They specifically chose this song to finish the show off with.

cause it really brings everyone together.

they might sing it a bit differently though, maybe more like Aerosmith

(they tried Gary Clark Jr.’s version but they felt like they couldn’t do it as big as he did it)

they definitely fool the crowd to when to sing Come Together or not, very anticlamactic and all but it won’t make anyone love them any less.

but once they do sing it, Chilssss

and they do each a verse, so first Harrison, then Harry, and finally Tom. and they all finish their own verse very dramatic in their own little ways.

Harrison barely understandable, but very dramatic

Harry basically screams it out

and Tom is just SEX™

and then they finish the show off with extended solo’s and I cry again

idk if i should tag people, since no one asked for this, but i’m doing it

@definitely-not-black-cat @artemisiaarm @nerdyhockeygirl @miraclesoflove @justasmisunderstoodasloki @thefridgeismybestie @m19friend @creative-happenings @parker-holland-osterfield @fanficparker @fanficscuziranout @peterparkoure @xxtomxo @happywolves81 @spiderrrling @captainbuckyy @tra-gicx @qxeen-of-hearts @varshavisuu @kangaroobunny @petersunderoos96 @the-lost-fairy-tale @nerd-domland @sleepybesson @rissa067 @the-queen-procrastinator @scarletteclipze @screeching-student-unknown @duskholland @tomhollanders2013 @miraclesoflove @playinonaloop @captainpeggy40 @queenoflostspirits @roses-hxlland @hereiamhereigo @sunnydays0803 @averyfosterthoughts @moorehollandplz @beiroviski @you-bleed-just-toknowyouarealive @peterparkerbabyyy @multifandomlover21 @lmaotshollandd @badbitchydecisions @tikapollak @starkeybabie @awesomehritz @madzleigh01 @oh-what a beautiful-parker @taciturnspidey @quaksonhehe @mountainsforwords @harryfobter @peepeeparkerr @viagracex @ethereal-beauty-p @perspectiveparker @slytherin-chaser @worldoftom @moonysoftt @peeterparkr @wazzupmrstark @saintlavrents @peachybloomss @blissfulparker @spidey-reids-2003 @fallinfortom @chloecreatesfictions @londonspidey @hollandcreep @inlovewithmobtom @hypnotized-so-mesmerized

#tom holland #harrison osterfield #harry holland #band!au #fanfic #fanfiction #tom holland fanfiction #harrison osterfield fanfiction #harry holland fanfiction #drummer!tom #guitarist!harrison #bassist!harry #headcanon #this could have just been the fic #but instead i went out of my way and wrote 17k #including like 8k smut #fml

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the-cookie-of-doom · 4 years

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What is one of the most memorable fics you have read?? What about the most memorable you have written??

GOD okay, yes, there are a few, and I really should make a rec list some day... but off the top of my head:

Croatoan by TheDamnRiddler I cannot recommend this fic enough; it’s platonic/gen, and it is the scariest thing I have ever read. I didn’t understand how horror novels could be scary until I read this fic. One scene actually kept me up for almost a week straight, it’s amazing. I had to read it all in one night with the lights on because I could not put it down, and I occasionally go back to it.

Under the Songbird’s Wing by mia6363 ( @mia6363 ) This fic hurts me, okay, but it’s wonderful. It deals with themes of sensory deprivation, which is something I love, especially in regards to Peter. It also has some really great worldbuilding/backstory for Satomi and Deucalion and werewolf culture in general, and a really great take on the True Alpha myth.

Your Vision Borrows Mine by hazyascent This is a Sterek Post-Nogitsune fic (sidenote, I change my answer to the last ask; Post-Nogitsune is my favorite AU to write ;_; ) And it’s so, so sad, but also a really beautiful fic. And I really love the alternate endings. It’s a difficult fic to read because it deals with child abuse, but I really love it, and I’ve probably reread it almost 10 times.

Anthracite by LupusScintilla This is THE fic to read in the Sterek fandom, I stg. I’ve never seen a fic go more in depth to what we could have had from the show; there is so much excellent world building with the werewolves and magic, actual pack dynamics and traditions, and the character relationships are amazing.

Everyone Around Here Gets a Little Strange by skoosiepants Okay. This is the fic that I go read when I just feel awful, because it is so fucking cute. And it has almost all of my favorite things: Sterek, Stargate Atlantis AU, MITCH is there as Stiles’ doppelganger and that whole dynamic is just wonderful. It’s my favorite, I adore it with my entire soul.

And finally, because I meant to only post a few fics but then while going through my bookmarks I found MORE...

Painted Wooden Letters by DiscontentedWinter ( @thisdiscontentedwinter ) Everything Disco writes is wonderful, it is known. I would actually post like. Almost all of her works, but this is probably my... third or fourth favorite (After Sanctuary, Hunger & Empty), and it was actually somewhat of the catalyst to me writing Neverland. More specifically, the scene where Stiles gets caught/picked up by John after running away again as a teenager, and Stiles says he wants John to help him. It really whet my apetite for runaway AUs I must say. Now I have a bunch of runaway/drifter AUs lurking in my drafts TT_TT

As for the most memorable I have written... I have no idea. I think probably Estranged, because it represents a lot of things for me, I reached a lot of miles stones through that fic. But for my previous fandom, I would say the most memorable is Bonding Time, since everyone refuses to let me forget it xD

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greene-rph · 4 years

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How to Generate RP Activity and Approach RP Partners

Whether you’re a brand new blog, you’re coming back from hiatus, or just experiencing a lull in interactions / activity, I thought I would share how I generate blog activity.

Your dashboard. So what generates the most interactions is always what’s happening on your dash. If your dashboard is slow or always populated by the same blogs, or doesn’t inspire activity, then this is where you need to start.

How many blogs are you following? You can check your following list from the dashboard sidebar menu. If you use the xkit extension, you are also able to view how many of these blogs are inactive (or haven’t posted in a month or more). Everyone’s preference here is different, but for me, I like to be following around 100 blogs at any given time.

Granted, 10% of these may be old friends who are taking a break from their blogs and are not active, and another 15-20% are non-roleplay blogs that post content related to my muse (their faceclaim, their aesthetic, info related to their profession / hobbies, etc.).

For me personally, not all of the roleplay blogs I follow are characters I would want my muse to interact with. Sometimes I follow a blog simply because I appreciate their character, their writing, or their friendship. Even though I may not be interacting in character with these blogs now, I may do so in the future, especially if one of us changes muses, and even if we never interact in character, I find it beneficial to interact out of character. You never know how you might meet a new friend or what might inspire new ideas for aus, meta posts, how you organize your blog, and other aspects of roleplay that are not muse or fandom specific.

Of course, the majority of the blogs that I follow are active roleplay blogs that I am potentially interested in interacting with. I personally like to wait a week or two before interacting with a new follow so that I can get a feel for their content, style, and personality, just to make sure that this person would make a good fit as a partner for me, but if you’re eager to make friends and not worried about it, you can go ahead and jump in by contacting potential partners.

Contacting a roleplayer. Before you contact a roleplayer about potentially writing together, it is VERY IMPORTANT that you take a quick minute to review their rules, as there may be very pertinent information that you need to be aware of, including if this person is PRIVATE. If a roleplayer has the word private anywhere on their blog or in their rules, it means you need to wait for them to follow you back before you interact with them. I know this can be difficult when they look like a super cool person and they write a character you really want to interact with, but the most important thing to consider in roleplay is the person behind the screen. A roleplayer who is private might have chosen this policy for a variety of reasons, but what matters is that we respect their boundaries. If a private roleplayer follows you back, or if a roleplayer is not private, then go ahead and reach out!

When contacting a potential new roleplay partner, I like my message to follow a basic formula: first, I introduce myself. Hi there, I’m Chaya. I personally consider an introduction to be a prerequisite for initiating roleplay. To me, it acknowledges the other person as a human and not just a writer. If you like, you can even let this person know what drew you to their blog. I really love your interpretation of xyz - or even just, I love your blog.

The second part of my approach is asking if this person might be interested in writing together. However, for me personally, I don’t like to suggest writing together without at least throwing out one or two plot ideas off the top of my head. In my mind, it feels like showing up to a fancy party without bringing wine or cupcakes. I always like to bring some ideas to the table outright to let this person know I appreciate their consideration and I don’t expect them to do all of the heavy lifting. It also serves as a really excellent conversation starter! Sometimes a conversation can lull once you get past the whole great sure let’s do a thread sometime part. I also like to let the person I’m messaging know that I’m not particularly committed to any of these ideas if they’re not feeling them, and that I’m very much open to their own ideas if they have any. That way I don’t feel like I’m steamrolling anyone and hopefully this person feels comfortable engaging in some brainstorming.

I know that contacting new roleplayers can very very difficult for some writers. There is definitely a level of vulnerability in putting yourself out there, but what you have to remember is this: roleplaying is ultimately a social hobby. By its very nature, it necessitates human interaction, and if you aren’t willing to reach out, this may be why you are experiencing a lull in activity. If we are all too afraid to reach out to one another, then we will never get to have any of those great interactions that make roleplay so much fun. I know the fear of rejection can make this hard, but just remember that the worst another roleplayer can say is no thank you, and that this decision is almost certainly not based on you as a person but maybe factors like their style of writing, or your fandom, or what kind of threads they like to write. It might even be because they’re overwhelmed with the threads they already have, or because they’re looking for something very specific. None of these things have anything to do with you, so even if a roleplayer says thanks but no thanks, it’s really not so terrible. You might be the ripest, juiciest peach on the tree, but there still might be someone who just doesn’t like the taste of peaches, and that’s okay.

Another thing to consider when you’re contacting new partners is that it might not be the best idea to message every new blog you follow, or at least, not message them all at once. I often follow new blogs in batches and then give it a week or two to see who I really vibe with before messaging, and even then, I only message up to three potential partners at a time. Obviously, you can run your blog however you like, but I find it very overwhelming to generate too many potential plot ideas (quality ones, at least) and it can get confusing to keep up with who to respond to. Just something you may want to keep in mind.

Inviting interactions. If you’re like me and you don’t like to message a lot of new partners right away, I like to encourage existing partners and new mutuals to engage with me indirectly with my own blog activity.

The most important way to bring followers to your blog and put yourself out there is to make sure your blog has a promo, and that this promo is posted in the correct tags. Tumblr will only post your content if your blog has been live for 72hrs, so if you just made your account, this will have to wait at least three days. Secondly, tumblr will ONLY post your post in the FIRST FIVE tags that you use, so use them wisely. After the first five tags, any tag you use is for your own blog organization, so I always start with indie-fandom-rp first and then my self promo tag sixth. Remember, if you are finding blogs to follow by searching tags, other roleplayers are doing the same, so it’s important to make sure that you are there for them to find.

Just as a sidenote to this, your promo does not necessarily have to have fancy graphics, if that’s not your forte. As long as your post makes it clear what your blog is for, your promo can still be effective. If you want to have fancy graphics anyway, there are resource communities out there who offer graphics services free of charge, or you can commission an artist.

I’ll post a sentence starter meme or two, maybe a writing prompt for muses, some AUs I’d like to try, or a wishlist of specific plots and ideas that really interest me. Even if I don’t have a specific idea, I might post about an aspect of my muse’s development that I’d really like to explore more and see if anyone has any ideas.

I also like to take this time to write headcanon or meta posts about my muse that might generate a conversation ooc or even inspire someone to approach you with an idea. A lot of the time, seeing your interpretation of your character lets other people get an idea for you and how you write your muse, and if this vibes with them, it could be the start of a beautiful partnership.

Another helpful tool to invite interactions is filling out a plotting cheat sheet. @bandagedbandit has created a really great template for one that you can use here. Posting a plotting cheat sheet can be a great way to let people new to your blog know what’s up more quickly and easily, and may encourage potential partners to feel more confident in contacting you with their own plot ideas. Personally, I like to link to my plotting cheat sheet in my blog’s sidebar or google doc, that way it’s always handy and easily accessible.

Lastly, if you feel comfortable doing so, you can always post one or more open starters. These are starters for a thread that are not directed at any partner in particular and are clearly marked as open for interaction with anyone. You can also tag your open starters with the same tags you use for your promo, or even different tags that you weren’t able to use for your promo due to the five tag limit.

Hopefully you find these suggestions helpful, and are able to use them to boost your blog’s activity and meet some cool people. Feel free to send in an ask with any questions, concerns, or clarifications-- or if you have an idea to add to this list. Thanks for reading!

#guide #admin maggie

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noona-clock · 6 years

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I’ll Be Fine - Part 6

Genre: College!AU/Fluff

Pairing: Jae x You

By Admin B

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, The Great Cookie Bake-Off

“What are you-- ?!” you whispered, lifting your head and watching as he quickly but silently made his way over to your bed.

“I thought it would just be easier if we could actually talk instead of typing everything out,” he explained, lifting up the covers on the unoccupied side of your bed and sliding in underneath.

“That --” Oh, god, Jae was now in your bed.

You had been about to say ‘That doesn’t make sense because actual talking makes noise and typing doesn’t,’ but the fact Jae was now lying in your bed next to you kind of turned your brain into mush.

“What’s up?” he murmured, turning to face you. “Are you too anxious to sleep?”

You blinked at him for a few moments, trying to wrap your head around this whole situation... but then you settled back down, turning on your side to face him right back. Just like the mistletoe kiss at the party, it was happening so you might as well just go for it.

“I don’t know,” you admitted, frowning slightly. “I’ve been trying to go to sleep for over an hour, but I just can’t.”

“Well, you just must not be tired then. We can talk until you’re tired, and I won’t leave until you fall asleep. How’s that?”

Oh, my word. The sweet, tiny little smile on Jae’s lips was enough to melt your heart, and you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling right back at him.

“I mean, you’re already here. I don’t want to be rude.”

Jae chuckled softly before reaching up and taking off his glasses. Instead of turning around to put them on the side table behind him, though, he reached over to put them on the side table behind you.

His warmth and his scent invaded your senses for just a moment, but it was enough to spark a very vivid image in your mind. An image of cuddling with him. His arm holding you tightly, your face buried in his chest, your arms curled up in-between you.

Truthfully, you couldn’t remember a time when you’d wanted to cuddle someone more.

Oh, this was not good.

“Your family seems nice,” he whispered, successfully breaking your thoughts of a major snuggle session. “Nosy but nice.”

“Yeah,” you replied with a somewhat awkward chuckle. Thank god he couldn’t read your mind. “I feel like I built them up to be overbearing and rude, but... they’re really not that bad. I love them, I just... wish they weren’t so hung up on the idea that you have to be in a relationship to be happy, y’know?”

“Yeah, I get it. Some people are just like that,” he pointed out. “Not everyone is as smart you.”

“Shut up,” you laughed softly.

“I’m serious!” he whispered passionately, a huge grin pulling at his lips.

“Well, that’s a first. You’re hardly ever serious about anything,” you teased.

“Ha ha, very funny.” Jae reached under the covers to poke your side, and you swiftly swatted his hand away. “Really, though. Can I be honest about something?”

“Sure,” you replied albeit a bit hesitantly. You were a little nervous about the exact subject of this honesty...

“I’m really glad we did this. This whole fake dating thing.”

“...You are?”

“Yeah. Besides the whole Jamie thing and besides the whole family thing, I feel like... we’ve gotten closer as friends. I’ve gotten to know you better. And I’m really grateful for that.”

Were those butterflies in your stomach? Or maybe they were dragons. It was difficult to tell because your heart was beating so quickly you were having to focus on breathing normally.

“Me, too,” you whispered, somehow managing to sound like you weren’t all that affected by his words.

But, truly, you were grateful.

Before this, Jae had been the Meme Friend. The friend you could count on to go and eat with you any time of the day. The friend who played too many video games.

But now you knew you could trust him with your life. You could count on him for more than just company at meals. You felt comfortable around him (except for when he held your hand underneath dinner tables). You knew you could be yourself around him.

And you knew he would sneak into your room to talk to you if you were having trouble sleeping.

If that wasn’t a good friend, then what was?

Jae beamed over at you, and it almost seemed like he was about to reach up and touch your face. Or scoot over and pull you in for a cuddle-hug.

But, instead, he took a sharp breath in and said, “So, tell me about your favorite Christmas memory.”

Obviously, this was his attempt at tiring you out by talking, so you racked your brain for what you could classify as your favorite Christmas memory.

“Well, I guess it would be this one Christmas when I was in... second grade, I think,” you began.

You went on to detail the story of how you’d wanted a Barbie dreamhouse, but your parents kept telling you it was too expensive, too extravagant, your Barbies were content living in the cottage you’d built out of a cardboard box. You’d written to Santa for it anyway, but come Christmas morning, it wasn’t there. When you’d gone through your stocking, however, you’d pulled out a slip of paper which told you to go up into your playroom. Obviously, you’d raced upstairs and - lo and behold - there was your Barbie dreamhouse.

For years to come, you’d always used that story as an argument that Santa was real (because he is... duh), and you would be lying if you didn’t still believe in a little bit of Christmas magic.

Jae listened to your story intently, a goofy grin on his lips as you went on and on about how much you played with that dreamhouse. It was still the best Christmas present you’d ever received, and you were pretty sure you would remember that Christmas for the rest of your life.

You then asked Jae about his favorite Christmas memory, and it was your turn to listen to him with a goofy grin as he told you about the year he’d gotten a guitar.

“I had no idea you could play,” you said when he’d finished.

“I haven’t in a long time,” he admitted with a tiny shrug. “A few years, honestly.”

“Why did you stop?”

Jae scrunched up his nose as he thought, but then he just shrugged again. “I’m not really sure. I guess... To be honest, I stopped not too long after I started dating Jamie. It’s not like she wanted me to stop, I just... didn’t have time anymore, I guess. I don’t know.”

“You should start playing again. Bring your guitar back to school with you,” you urged.

“Yeah? You think I should?”

“I mean, if you want to. I would love to hear you play.”

“Maybe I will.”

The two of you ended up talking until almost 1am. The last thing you remembered was Jae offering to scratch your back; your blinks had become quite a bit longer than normal, and when he’d asked if you’d like a back scratch, you’d sluggishly turned onto your stomach. The soft, soothing feel of his fingers had lulled you to sleep within minutes.

Your grumbling stomach woke you up the next morning, as it usually did when you slept past the time you normally ate breakfast at school. But the first thing you noticed after opening your eyes wasn’t the fact you were hungry.

It was the fact Jae was still in your bed.

Last night, he’d said he wouldn’t leave until you fell asleep.

Well, apparently, he’d fallen asleep himself before he’d had a chance to leave.

Oh, god, this was awkward.

Actually, it wasn’t that awkward because he was still asleep (looking like an angel, at that). So you got out of bed with painstaking slowness, not wanting to wake him up and actually make things awkward.

You managed to step into your slippers and open the door without rousing him, and when you made it downstairs, you found your dad was making pancakes.

“Morning, sunshine,” your mom greeted as she poured herself a mug of coffee. “Cutie pie is still sleeping?”

“Oh my god, mom,” you murmured, your cheeks warming considerably. You slid into a chair at the kitchen table and promptly broke into a rather large yawn.

Your mom carried her mug over to the table to sit with you, sipping at her beverage before beginning with the third degree. “So, are you two serious?”

“What? I don’t know, mom, it’s been less than a month.”

“Well... why did you bring him home if you’re not serious?”

Your brow immediately furrowed and you looked at your mom with an absolute ‘WTF’ expression. “Really? Do you not remember Thanksgiving?”

“Thanksgiving?” your mom repeated, utterly confused. “What on earth are you talking about?”

“You don’t remember how often you and everyone else in this family asked me if I had a boyfriend?”

“Wha --”

“It was the main thing I told all my friends after getting back to school. I barely enjoyed myself because I was too busy dodging questions about why I was still single!”

“Well, honey --” your mom stammered. “We just want you to be happy!”

“I am happy! I mean, I was happy back then, too. I was happy before I met Jae, and I’ll be happy after we break up.”

(Sidenote: Yikes. Why did mentioning your break up with Jae form a small pit in your stomach?)

“I don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy, mom,” you continued, hoping your voice wasn’t loud enough to wake your sleeping fake boyfriend.

“I know that, dear, but... I mean, you can’t deny that you are happy right now. I think you seem happier even. When the right person comes along, your life just changes. Your perspective changes.” She reached out and put a hand over yours, her eyes warm and shining with love. “More than just being happy, I want you to find someone who accepts you for who you are and loves you for who you are. Because that’s such a precious thing, and you deserve that.”

“I’m still so young, though,” you pointed out. “I have plenty of time to find that person.”

“...You haven’t found him already?” your dad piped up, stacking the pancakes he’d been flipping onto a serving plate.

You didn’t answer that for very obvious reasons.

And, thankfully, Jae entered the kitchen just in time. (Though you could hardly make eye contact with him because you were wondering what he’d thought about waking up in your bed...)

After Jae had eaten about ten pancakes (much to your father’s delight since pancakes were his specialty), he announced he had to hit the road fairly soon. You both went upstairs to get ready, and Jae was all packed and set to leave within the hour.

Your parents thanked him for coming, your mom profusely so, giving him hugs and handshakes and inviting him back whenever he wanted to come.

“Y/N doesn’t even have to be here!” your mom chirped. “Just come on over if you’re ever in the area.”

“Mom, that is weird. Please don’t say that,” you pleaded as Jae bit back an amused chuckle.

Your mom simply rolled her eyes as you turned to open the front door and walk Jae out to his car.

“I know I already thanked you for coming,” you said after he threw his overnight bag into the passenger’s seat. “But, seriously. Thank you. Now I’ll only have to deal with questions about you instead of questions about being single.”

“I hope that’s at least a little more preferable,” Jae laughed, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck.

“Much, believe me,” you assured him with a grin. “So, my parents are most likely watching from one of the windows by the door... do you see them?”

You were currently facing away from your house, so Jae had a better view. You watched as his eyes scanned around, and it was very obvious when he spotted them.

“2 o’clock,” he murmured, giving away their position. So, they had almost a side-view of the two of you...

You hadn’t been planning on this, but you suddenly found yourself saying, “Kiss me.”

“Say what now?”

“A goodbye kiss! They don’t know we know they’re watching. If we don’t kiss, they’ll ask why when I get back inside.”

“Right, right, right,” Jae whispered. He stepped up to you, sliding his arms around your shoulders and first pulling you in for a hug.

You wrapped your own arms around his middle, squeezing him tightly and pressing your face into his neck. A soft sigh escaped your lips, though you hoped Jae didn’t really notice because your parents wouldn’t have been able to see or hear you sigh like that, so what excuse would you give if he asked about it?

After spending almost half a minute in this hug, you pulled your head away and moved to place a sweet, tender kiss on his lips.

Four days. It had been four days since you’d last kissed him, but it felt like four decades. It honestly felt like a whole other lifetime because that kiss had been in front of everyone and forced and rushed and awkward.

But this kiss was just the two of you. Kind of. Your parents were watching, yes, but they weren’t actually out here with you, so it felt like just the two of you. It was a kiss on your terms, not because of mistletoe. It was soft and slow and... natural. Even though it wasn’t.

“Safe drive home,” you whispered after your lips left his.

“Yeah,” Jae whispered back. “You, too. ...I mean -- not now. When you drive back to school --”

You let out a soft, whispering giggle before you stepped away from his embrace completely, giving him space to get in his car.

“Merry Christmas,” you called out just before he opened the door to the driver’s side.

“Merry Christmas, Y/N.” He grinned at you one last time before ducking into his car and driving off.

For some reason, you were unable to wipe an incredibly cheesy smile off your lips the whole way back to your front door. In fact, it stayed on there as you went inside, as you trekked up the stairs, as you arrived in your bedroom.

When you flopped onto your bed, it was like the jarring motion of your body hitting the mattress quite literally knocked some sense into you.

Because you realized something which was now so earth-shatteringly obvious but also entirely problematic: you had a crush on your fake boyfriend. A major one.

Your Thanksgiving holiday had been ruined by your family, and now your Christmas holiday had been ruined by your boyfriend.

Your fake boyfriend.

Whom you had fallen for.

You couldn’t believe it.

Truly, you had definitely not planned on this happening.

But… apparently, it was happening. Of course. You wanted your fake relationship with Jae to turn into a real relationship with Jae, and it sucked. Because you couldn’t tell him!

Could you?

...No, of course, you couldn’t. When did confessions like that ever actually go well?

You let out a very long, deep, groaning sigh as you stared up at the ceiling of your dorm room, lying on your back on your bed. It seemed this was the position you were meant to be in after arriving back home from a holiday break.

You’d come back about a day earlier than most people, including your roommate, mainly because you’d wanted some time to yourself. Time to think. Time to try and unlike Jae.

The melodic sound of your ringtone cut through the air suddenly, and you jumped a little before reaching over to pick up your phone.

...Oh, great. It was him.

You answered it anyway, pressing your phone to your ear and hoping you would sound normal and not like you had a stupidly major crush on him.

“Hey.”

Okay, good. That was pretty normal.

“Hey, you,” Jae replied.

Oh, geez. Why? Why the ‘you’?! Why ‘hey, you’ and not just ‘hey’?!

“What’s up?” you asked as you moved to sit up.

“Are you back yet?”

“Yeah, I just got here an hour ago.”

“Are you hungry?”

“Wait, are you back?”

“No, I just want to know if you’re hungry. Don’t I always call you every few hours to see if you’re hungry yet?”

You held back a smirk, rolling your eyes playfully to yourself. So he was back.

“Dining hall, then?”

“Nah, let’s go to The Grill,” he suggested, referring to one of the local diner hangouts not too far from campus. “I’m dying for a burger.”

Actually, now that he mentioned it, a burger sounded absolutely divine right now.

“Ooh, okay, I’m game,” you replied, standing up so you could step into your winter boots.

“I’ll wait outside and we can walk together, yeah?”

“Sure, see you in a couple.”

By the time you pushed open the front door to your dorm building, Jae was waiting with his hands shoved in his pockets, his nose already pink from the cold weather.

“How was your Christmas?” he asked almost as soon as you got close enough.

“It was good!” you replied, falling into step next to him and heading off toward The Grill. You decided not to mention the fact you’d realized you’d fallen for him right after he’d left your house. “What about yours?”

“Pretty good,” he answered with a nod. “You didn’t get another dreamhouse?”

“No,” you sighed mournfully. “I guess my parents think I’m too old or whatever. Oh! Did you bring your guitar?”

“I did, actually.”

“So you’re going to start playing again?” you asked hopefully.

“I’m gonna try,” Jae chuckled.

You continued on talking about your holidays all the rest of the way to the diner, your hand constantly itching to reach out and take his. But the campus was fairly empty, so there was really no point in acting like a couple right now.

But when the two of you sat at the counter after arriving at The Grill, Jae suggested taking a picture so he could post it to his story.

“I mean, it’s been over a week since we’ve seen each other,” he pointed out. “I have to show the world how much I missed my girlfriend!”

Wow, how you wanted that to be true.

Jae got his phone out before the waitress had a chance to come and take your drink orders, stretching his arm out and leaning in toward you. He placed his chin on your shoulder, and you reached up to place your hand on his cheek. The both of you smiled happily, and when you looked at the finished product, you actually couldn’t believe how adorably cute Jae’s expression was.

He leaned back, adding some emojis and ‘reunited and it feels so gooooood’ and a location tag for the diner before posting it to his story.

Honestly, you were glad he was distracted for a minute because you needed that minute to recover from being so close to him and touching him and seeing his fricking fracking delightful, charming, cute-as-heck face.

“What can I get you?” a waitress asked, suddenly appearing in front of you. (Though, it probably wasn’t actually sudden. You’d just been too distracted to notice earlier.)

“Coke, please,” you answered. “And a cheeseburger with fries.”

“Make that two,” Jae chimed in. He looked up from his phone, flashing a grin at the waitress and thanking her as she jotted your orders down.

When she walked away, you nudged his side, a smirk pulling at your lips. “You got a crush on our waitress?”

“What?” Jae asked with a confused chuckle. “What are you talking about?”

“You were just smiling at her!”

“I was not!”

“You were. Like this.” You imitated his smile, though you admittedly made it a little more lovesick than his had truly been.

“Oh my gosh,” he laughed. “I was smiling to be friendly. I do not have a crush on our waitress, believe me.”

“Well, I thought she was pretty,” you shrugged.

“I mean, yeah, but it takes more than a pretty face to catch my interest.”

“Oh, it does?”

...No. No, no, no, no. You should not have asked that. You were treading in dangerous waters asking about what it took to catch Jae’s romantic interest.

“Yeah, it does,” he replied a bit defensively. “Besides. I already have a girlfriend, remember?”

You were about to ask just who that girlfriend was and why did you not know about her?! But then he reached out and tapped your nose with his index finger.

...Oh, yeah. He was talking about you.

“You’re a big nose-booping fan, aren’t you?” you pointed out, reaching up to gently swat his arm away.

“It’s cute!”

“No, it’s annoying.”

The two of you continued to playfully tease each other until your waitress brought out your orders, and then your mouths were otherwise engaged.

Not even halfway through your meal, though, and you heard the jingle of the bell above the door signaling the entrance of a new customer.

Even though you weren’t expecting anybody you knew to come here, you still glanced up to see who it was. It was human instinct, I guess.

You were glad you did, though, because your gaze landed on...

Jamie.

“Ex alert,” you mumbled, quickly averting your eyes.

Jae froze for just a split second, but then he put down his burger and moved his arm, placing it across the back of your seat. He leaned in closer to you, and when your gaze flitted over at him, you saw he was looking at you with those eyes. Even behind his glasses, you could see the love in those eyes.

It was heart-warming and heart-breaking all at the same time.

“She probably saw your story,” you whispered, picking up a french fry off your plate and feeding it to him.

“Is she sitting down somewhere?”

You glanced over his shoulder, seeing Jamie sliding into a booth. But she looked far too anxious and annoyed.

“Yes, but I doubt she’ll actually stay,” you murmured. “She looks super annoyed.”

Jae rolled his eyes because Jamie couldn’t see his face at the moment, and you bit back a giggle.

You watched as a waitress approached Jamie’s table, but Jamie simply waved her off, her eyes narrowed and a frown tugging at her lips. It really wasn’t an attractive look.

You continued to be super lovey-dovey, feeding Jae a couple of your fries, reaching up to comb his hair away from his eyes, gazing and beaming over at him. All the while, Jae’s arm lay across the back of your chair, his thumb gently rubbing your shoulder and upper arm.

“I think she’s about to leave...” you whispered when you saw Jamie scooting out of the booth.

Jae leaned in, pressing his forehead to your temple to try and finalize her departure.

“Is she still looking?” he muttered before he pressed his lips to your temple.

“No,” you whispered through your teeth, feeling your cheeks get warm at his touch. “She’s leaving, actually.”

When the door closed behind her, Jae squeezed your shoulder before bringing his arm back around and resuming eating his food. Resuming chattering and laughing and living life as normal.

Oh, god. You couldn’t tell him about your feelings. You just couldn’t!

You two were having a good time - you always did. And if you confessed your feelings, all that would be gone.

But… still. You knew if you kept quiet…

You would regret it.

You didn’t want to ruin this thing you had going because it was definitely working. And you also didn’t want to ruin your friendship with him.

But you couldn’t keep playing along. If you let yourself keep pretending, your heart would get seriously torn apart by the time you two “broke up.” And that just wasn’t fair to either of you.

You hadn’t known you wanted to tell him when you walked in here - in fact, you’d thought quite the opposite, but seeing Jamie made you realize you not only wanted to (even though you were super scared) but you kind of had to.

“Hey, Jae…” you began, your eyes fixed on the plate of food in front of you as you swirled one of your french fries around in your pool of ketchup.

“Yeah,” he replied before taking the biggest bite of his burger imaginable.

You let out a breathy chuckle, shaking your head as you waited for him to chew and swallow.

“What?” Jae laughed, reaching to grab a napkin and gently wiping something from the corner of your lip.

See?! It was things like that! Things like him wiping your mouth when you weren’t even pretending to be a couple which had made you fall for him. Things like him helping you put your glove on when you were holding hands. Things like taking your plate and carrying it for you in the dining hall. Things like walking you back to your dorm at night after playing video games. Things like coming into your room and talking to you when you couldn’t sleep.

It all made you believe it could be real.

“I…” you began, your voice a bit shaky as your heart began to pound. “Listen, I have to tell you something, and I really don’t want to ruin anything, but I don’t think it’s fair to either of us anymore.”

“…What’s not fair?”

“This… thing we’re doing.”

“Why not?” he asked, brow furrowed deeply. He looked super confused and super adorable.

“Because I like you.”

Jae stared at you.

For a good… ten seconds.

Which doesn’t seem like a long time, but when you’ve just confessed feelings to someone, ten seconds seems more like ten years.

His eyes were darting all over your face, his perfect lips slightly agape in shock. It was making your heart race even faster than it just had been.

Yeah… You had just made a huge mistake.

And your first instinct was to… keep talking.

“I actually wasn’t sure if I should tell you because I don’t want things to get awkward between us, but I know I’ll end up getting kind of really hurt when we stop fake dating, and I just -- Listen, it’s – it’s totally okay if you don’t feel the same way. I understand. I expect it, actually. So you can just tell me, and I’ll be okay. I’ll be fine. I just had to tell you. And we can still – I mean, if you want to, we can still –”

And then Jae interrupted you.

And what he said…

Well, you hadn’t been expecting it.

“I like you, too.”

Now it was your turn to stare at him.

“...I-- I’m sorry, what did you say?”

Jae held back a smile as he lifted a hand into the air, signaling the waitress. “Can we get the check?” he asked politely when she arrived.

“Wait, Jae -- what are you --”

“Can we go talk somewhere?” he asked. He reached into his back pocket for his wallet, taking out some cash.

“Go... talk...”

“Alone?”

...Okay.

Let’s take a second and make sure we’ve got this straight.

You confessed to Jae.

Jae, you were fairly certain, had replied with ‘I like you, too.’ (I mean -- unless you’d just completely imagined that.)

And he was now paying for your meal after having asked you to go somewhere to talk.

Alone.

Part 7

Master list // RULES // Read About the Admins

631 notes · View notes

ziggory · 6 years

Text

Riverdale Liveblogs 3x07 - 3x13

Instead of making you all suffer through six separate liveblogs as I was catching up, have them all in on post!

3x07, “The Man in Black”

Remember when Jughead was the biggest woobie ever with a bunch of sad shit happening to him. Fun times. Honestly, Jughead’s just really taking advantage of finally being on the roadtrip he was denied

Justice for Jingle Jangle. Why did we need a new drug? Or I’d be fine with it complementing the other but NOooOooOOOO. It’s trying to shove JJ out of the spotlight!

Elvis’ granddaughter could’ve just drugged the eggs but instead she chose to nearly give Archie a concussion. Hiram might chop her head off if his Archiekins gets permanent brain damage

Let Archie kill a man!! Jughead got to skin someone who was fucking up his life. Why can’t he let Archie take his shot!? I can’t hear you about consequences

Your business is failing because trading away the final piece of the Soutshide to open a vanity project in the form of a dry speakeasy was not a great idea. Also, gamers can give you business. I’ve seen it!

The show can make Veronica say all these supposedly empowering lines, but I’m never going to forget that she supported a for-profit prison

MAYBE MY DAD’S NOT SO BAD!!?!?

This voiceover was completely unnecessary. Honestly, it’s sort of a slap in the face to Lili’s acting as if they didn’t think she could convey certain things without some hand holding

I’ve seen movies. They make you swallow that shit on the spot

So many negative thoughts being awkwardly confirmed

Honestly, this is what happens when you keep exploiting the place for abuses to help your investigations but never fucking shut it down

3x08, “Outbreak”

Does Moose need drugs to get it up? He said Midge liked to get wild, but methinks he liked it of his own volition as well. And just what I wanted. Shadowy makeouts while high on drug laced childhood candy

Kevin needs to find out who put a curse on his dick. ANOTHER hookup interrupted by bodies in danger

I don’t know why a group of high school boys acting like typical jackass high school boys with loud laughing is cause for thinking they’re all high.

“good people like Archie”

Gladys being a Jarchie shipper is pure. I will not stand for this no homoing

Wait, Cheryl did actually get to be Student Body President? I thought they were just going to let that circle the drain and disappear

MY FAVORITE INCOMPETENT EDUCATIONAL ADMINISTRATOR

THE PRISON WAS A FUCKING COVER?!?!? So all of S2 was just…oh my fucking god, I’m going to do drown myself

“good looking shortsatck” Love it. Goddamn, I love Gladys

Do they know that the way they write Hiram and Veronica feels like it’s been dipped in ten layers of incest? He talks to her like she’s the mistress he wants to bed

The affection the Jones women have for Archie is cute

The Gargoyle King being a hallucination is the most disappointing thing

TABLETOP RPGS ARE NOT FUCKING BORN OF MADNESS. Ugh, my inner geek is angry with rage

Oh, now you care about the kids in conversion therapy

So I guess they didn’t go to Toledo for Christmas??

Lili should get a raise for this Griffin Queen shit

I’m more emotional than I would usually be over these Fred scenes given Luke Perry’s recent condition

PROTECT THAT FUCKING DOG WITH YOUR FUCKING LIFE!! THROW YOURSELF IN FRONT OF A BEAR

I missed alcoholic Hermione. And lmao this Watchmen realness

I love Silent!Kevin getting nothing to say in that office! Just fucking great

we need to know more about this fucking Governor. Racist piece of shit who gets upset about vandalized statues of genocidal war criminals, AND he’s under Hiram’s thumb.

3x09, “No Exit”

Will someone get bit by a monkey? I can only hope

Oh fuck off with the Star Wars reference. IT DOESN’T FIT

Stealing from the rich to give to the rich. How very one percenter. And Toni, all your friends are living in tents by the river

KEVIN. WHY THE FUCK DO YOU ALWAYS JOIN THE WORST GROUPS

While the implication of Jughead sleeping over is nice, what the fuck was the point of last episode’s cliffhanger. This timeline makes no sense

I’M GETTING FIREWATCH VIBES

They’re so fucking low budget that they couldn’t even show the bear, LMAO

I forgot what Fangs sounded like. Didn’t FP retire? ARE THERE EVEN ANY ADULTS LEFT IN THIS FUCKING JOKE OF A GANG. But Damn, Fangs is good at crying. So pretty

Aww, I actually missed the hammy ass warden

Every time Joaquin’s name is mentioned, another dagger in my heart

The fact that the sisters have been fake nuns this whole time is just…what the fuck. AND THE FUCKING SOCIAL WORKER KNEW AND JUST LET THEM KEEP OPERATING!?!? LET THIS WHOLE FUCKING TOWN FALL INTO A HELLMOUTH

Remember when Jughead was outraged about the Serpents being paid security at the Pickens festival thing? Time is a flat circle

CHERYL, WHY DON’T YOU JSUT KILL HIRAM THEN

“SAVED”!??! REALLY NANA ROSE!?! IS THAT WHAT YOU CALL THE CHILD GROOMING YOU DID!? And uh, Fred and Sierra should know about that sordid piece of Penelope’s past

Damn, Veggie is hot as fuck

You know who else could’ve gone undercover for the Serpents to infiltrate the Gargoyle gang?!????? I HATE YOU FOREVER, RAS. ANOTHER AU FOR THE DRAWER

3x10, “The Stranger”

LMAO that they tried to make us think Archie died

Being attacked by a bear in Canada means not having to suffer through crippling debt because of the hospital bill for the rest of your life

Sidenote, but I really thought the painting of Veronica would have a bug or something. The fact that she just kept the painting instead of burning it says something

Oh so the core four are THOSE type of friends

Betty’s money >> those kids

Claudius just doesn’t want to do actual work

They let a kid pass the first grade when he couldn’t read? So the educational system has always been rather shit

Hey there, Silent!Kevin! Just sitting silently with your slowly developing biceps

Does Reggie know what PTSD is

I spy with my little eyes Kevin in the corner putting his PE clothes away! Once again robbed of a shirtless scene

FUCKING TALL BOY!?!? Lol, this is really good for my drawer fic actually. Keep sounding like a spiteful man! It’s semi feeding me

Wow, they really crammed in two Varchie sex scenes

Hiram deserved this and every agonizing second of pain he felt

Raw milk, huh? Yeah, that’s all you need to bait Kevin into this cult

Bye Claudius, no one will miss you

I want Hermione/FP to fuck

Jughead throwing a party to make things better is the biggest twist this series has ever done

Archie the alcoholic, eh. If this lasts more than one episode, that’d sure be something

3x11, “The Red Dahlia”

This is the noir episode, isn’t it. I’m…really bad with noir so an episode from THIS team is going to be…very trying

Awww, FP mentioning Joaquin is an extra pang. I wanted to know more about their relationship

I’d love to see the notes on this draft when Jughead tries submitting it to a publisher. Unless he goes the self pub route

Who even runs the newspaper now?

Betty, you’re like the last person to talk about black and white morality

Archie sounds like the protagonist of Office Space at the end when he finds his calling in construction

ELIO HAS SPOKEN MORE THAN MELODY EVER DID. EAT SHIT, RAS

I still need Jughead and Veronica arguing about classic cinema

I wonder where Penelope learned those crocodile tears, Nana. Like I never need a scene of her criticizing her ADOPTED DAUGHTER again

Cheryl is pretty forgiving of the uncle who sort of helped with her institutionalization

Have these boys never watched an episode of Breaking Bad? Put that body in a barrel

So has Veronica had a change of heart about Daddykins? I’m so confused

SMITHERS!?!? YOu’RE STILL ALIVE!? Protect this man

Remember when Betty was a camgirl for ten seconds and watched all of her fake brother’s porn videos

Josie’s voice is pure butter, and the show needs to stop pretending that we want to hear anyone else sing

Why doesn’t Toni have a job at Veronica’s dry speakeasy? She used to be an actual bartender!

“Kevin’s dad boxes at the gym” being a line from Josie is the most beautiful line in this episode

Well at least they explained the seizures.

YYYAAAAAASSSS, KELLY RIPPA!!

What is even the point of Minetta having faked his death just to be Hermione’s kept man

Well, damn, I really didn’t see this FP reveal coming. I wish he was the sheriff Hermione was fucking. And given all the things Jughead used to say and aim at Keller, it’s interesting to see him have to deal with his dad being somewhat in Hermione’s pocket

PULL THE FUCKING TRIGGER, ARCHIE

Lmao at this Bad Boys line. I see you, synergy

Honestly, how dare Archie shoot the person who was going to kill Hiram. I guess that’s one way to bury the Archie/Hiram grudge

Hermione’s trigger finger is life goals

3x12, “Bizarrodale”

So first off, fuck that title and everything it implies.

Second, this is the episode where I’m supposed to finally get fed, eh? FINGERS CROSSED

I forgot what Kevin sounded like after not talking for four episodes

WHEN CAN WE MEET KEVIN’S MOM!?!? I HAVE MANY FANCASTS

Veronica watches Netflix confirmed, and yet I guess she just scrolls past Orange is the New Black every time it’s recommended to her

Why are Kevoose makeouts always in shadow? Is it to disguise the fact that when they makeout it’s with their lips sealed shut

The actor who plays Major Mason followed me back on my burner instagram

Awww, Sweet Pea is a relationship guy with a gooey little heart!

Sierra pegs Tom confirmed. Love these two kinky fuckers

The way Tom says “Gargoyle King” goes straight to my nether regions

So does Britta have a kink for people outing others against their will? I swear this is a plot point in Ship It too

I feel like these issues are something they should’ve talked about way more. Making Moose’s coming out be an ultimatum is pretty gross

How DARE they not let us hear Josie sing?!??! Ohhhh, if we’d heard Josie sing then we would sent death threats to the fake Juilliard board. I never want to hear Josie’s teary little voice again because it hurts my feelings

Lmao, this is the second time a parent has been judgmental of how the Lodges involve Veronica in their business

Remember that time Moose and Cheryl made out? I’m forever traumatized by that

Hiram and Hermione strolling in like a fucked up Gomez and Morticia

I’m sure that Dilton would approve of his friend from another lifetime using his secret bunker to pop his cherry. But only Moose. Yes, I ship comics Dilton/Moose

Oh, HeeEYEEEEEEE, IT’S LIKE A BUNCH OF MY FIC DREAMS COME TO LIFE. Wow, I finally got pandered to. Kevin being in dagner is like…the basis of the majority of my drawer fics

I’M FUCKING PSYCHIC X2!!!! Well huh, this puts that earlier diner scene in a new light

Yesss, please keep calling him Tommy and talking about how Kevin looks like your old friend with that sad, wistful tone. Please feed my fic bunnies

Christ, Ashleigh has such a fucking amazing voice. I can actually bear KJ’s singing

Moose having to leave makes sense. ALSO MAKE SURE YOU WATCH CODY”S SHOW ON NETFLIX TO MAKE THIS WORTH IT

I never want to see Kevin cry again. Fucking Maramaduke

Gladys can step on me, and I’d apologize

3x13, REQUEIM FOR A WELTERWEIGHT

I’M FINALLY ALL FUCKING CAUGHT UP

I don’t think that bacon is fully cooked

So Veronica just decided to not move back out because the path of least resistance?? And she’s back in her Daddy’s clutches because....he got shot???

The Serpent with the awesome dreads is still there! Can he be an actual character with a name? He deserves it

Between last episode and this one, I am being fucking BLESSED with Daddy Keller content.

VERONICA IS a FUCKING REPUBLICAN CONFIRMED. I guess we all know who scrolled right past 13th on Netflix!

They’re really trying to sweep up their awkward plot mistakes from last season, eh

I need a flashback of young Alice in this ugly fucking wedding dress

This is some Rocky and Mickey shit. Hopefully Keller doesn’t have a heart attack while confronting Mr. T

YES, GLADYS!!! CALL OUT THAT LEADERSHIP!

San Junipero water, huh.

Why is Archosie so perfect

Ehhhh, the last time they talked was eight episodes ago. Will this scene be about how Kevin’s recovering post-Moose?? Of course not. My hopes for investigative Kevin are once again yanked away. Though of course remember that time she got him to catfish a murderer without telling him that Chic had killed someone?? Fun times

“cute gay farmies”

Veronica is the opposite intimidating ESPECIALLY in the face of Gladys who we all know has actually fucked up a bitch

The monstrous Freeform ate Malachai, eh. Ghoulie jackets are still the best jackets

I’ve never watched Apocalypse Now so this scene is wasted on me

THUNDERDOME!!?!?

Keller looks like he gives good hugs

How the fuck did Jason learn about The Farm?

This is Polly’s revenge for being sent to the Sisters

It’s awkward how Choni just sort of disappeared from the episode

Damn, Archosie has everything going on

Hermione, you should’ve just killed Hiram when you had the chance

PROTECTIVE BIG BROTHER JUGHEAD!

Gladys doling out gang advice is just everything I wanted from her

#Riverdale #Riverdale liveblog

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shirtlesssammy · 6 years

Text

13x22: Exodus

Then:

Gabe came back to save the day!

Now:

Sam’s alive! And Lucifer just wants to be part of the gang, and to get to know his son. Dean is in protective Mom mode and tells Gabe to kill Lucifer. All the anger and hostility causes Jack to fly off to safety.

To keep some semblance of order, Cas puts the angel warded handcuffs on Lucifer, while Lucifer tells the group that they have about 31 hours before the rift closes. Rowena’s holding down the fort, and not looking too positive about the whole situation. Also, Sam sets his phones timer for 31 hours. A: Won’t the battery run out before then? And 2: Shouldn’t you maybe set it for 29 hours or something just to be safe?

Dean checks in with Sam to make sure he’s ok, and he is. Dean just thought he lost his brother, and Sam just thought he died. This was a worthy hug.

Now Sam, can you at least clean your blood off your neck? Yuck.

Sam tells Dean that he will handle Lucifer.

Meanwhile, Jack’s off alone reeling from meeting Lucifer for the first time. He flashes back to the video of his mother (was this new footage or from earlier?), and Sam (so protective, so parental), and then to the security guard he accidentally killed and au!Kevin dying for the “cause”. Oh, sweet little nougat (at what age does he have to reach before we have to stop calling him our little nougat?).

Cas escorts Lucifer from point A to point B at the camp (like, where were they going?) Anyway, they take a pit stop so Luci can be snarky and Mary can punch the devil in the face (again). Yay!

Mary is 100% badass and I love her, but do you ever stop to think about how great it was for Sam to have Dean raise him and not Mary or John? They were a mess! Sam and Dean show up to tell Mary they need to start heading back to the rift to make it home in time. Mary tells them she’s not leaving. There’s work to be done here. She’s fought beside the people here. There’s too much to fight for. That goes over like a lead balloon. Sidenote: Mary’s makeup is on point in the AU. Maybe it’s not such a bad place after all?

Cas, Jack, and Lucifer parley and Jack wants to listen (UGH) to what Lucifer has to say.

Lucifer tells Jack that he can ask him anything. “Why does everyone hate you?” Lucifer makes some good points (and some icky rapey Buckleming points, ugh), but nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.

Back in Dean, Sam, and Mary land, Dean’s arguing against fighting the good fight, and asks Sam to back him up, but Sam being Sam, he agrees with Mary. “Wait, what?” Dean asks, incredulous. “Mom doesn’t want to leave these people.” Dean’s poor face. Sam suggests they bring them with, regroup, and come back stronger than ever. Just as Dean questions the ability to cram 25 people through the rift, a VERY dramatic Cas arrives to tell them Jack is now with Lucifer.

Lucifer has a one on one with Jack but TFW interrupts, trying to make it clear to Jack that they’re his family, not Lucifer. Jack then calls Lucifer his father (BIG UGH).

The group heads out to the basecamp.

Mary and Dean get some time to talk. Mary wants Dean to give Jack a break. Man, Mary’s conversation about Jack learning about Lucifer, and seeing him for who he is through his own eyes. Dean should be taking notes on how to think about his own childhood, and his own memories of John.

Gabriel, who was off scouting, comes running at the group alerting them to incoming angels. Battle stances commence, and then the angels just disappear into smoke. It seems the handcuffs don’t work in the AU and Luci just smoked them all, and then dissolved the handcuffs. Oops.

It seems the basecamp is Singer Auto Salvage --it’s not in Sioux Falls but it’s damn nice to see that sign again. And it’s not our Bobby (Goddamnit, where is he?? Andrew Dabb, how have you failed us on that storyline?), but he’s just as much a curmudgeon. Dean asks about Charlie and finds out Ketch and her went off to find an angel kill squad.

Lucifer and Jack continue the family reunion. Lucifer tells him all about the other archangels. Ok, Buckleming, you get one pass if you scripted that high five. It was funny and cute. I give 90% of the credit to Jack though. They meet up with Gabriel.

Gabe can barely hold in his hostility for Lucifer. GABE!

Charlie and Ketch find the angels, but it’s a trap! They’re captured.

Team Free Winchester try to convince the leadership at the camp to head over to Sam and Dean’s world. “You want us to follow you through some magic door that’s gonna blast us the hell out of here and into some fairy tale world where everything’s pretty?” DUH. Just do it, Andy!

The AU campers will talk about it. At the end of the meeting, Bobby comes up to tell Sam, Dean, and Mary that Charlie and Ketch were captured.

Ketch and Charlie are having a great time hanging with angels. Eating angel food cake, playing ring toss with halos. The whole nine yards. Or, urgh, Ketch is getting tortured and interrogated for the resistance base location. Ketch snarkily resists their efforts, earning my grudging respect. (Boris: Ngl, watching Ketch get tortured was kind of poetic. But he’s on his big redemption arc so I guess it’s also sad. Remember folks: Ketch killed Magda!) Then they bring in the big guns. AU!Castiel, complete with insane lip twitch. AU!Castiel does not look well, as evidenced by his non-floofy hair and rogue eye that's probably gone bad from incessant “reprogramming.”

In the resistance camp, TFW interrogates the human that betrayed Charlie and Ketch. I only picked up on this in the rewatch, but Dean nods to Cas to start and stop his mind meld on the guy. I know this can be seen as teamwork but I'm sort of super duper gutted by that. I keep remembering how Cas oftens sees himself as a tool and I feel like he's in that role right now – an instrument of torture wielded by Dean Winchester.

Anyway.

shudder

Cut to Lucifer whining to Gabriel about how boring it is to wait for an attack. Gabriel is quietly amused at Lucifer's desire to rush out and be big and heroic to impress Jack. “I've known you since the stars were made,” Gabriel tells him and he thinks Lucifer’s full of shit. “Humans are innocent and beautiful,” Gabriel says (while I whisper to him that I suddenly really really love him). Lucifer’s motivation for his corruption of humanity was down to jealousy, plain and simple. Lucifer pulls a single man tear which... Whatever, Luci.

Back with AU!Cas, he hones in on Charlie. “Everyone has a breaking point,” he tells her before he tries to suck her mind out of her head. (I'm definitely NOT thinking about how AU!Cas hit his breaking point. He's broken. Shattered. A sharp blade of pain.) There's a ruckus outside, saving Charlie momentarily. It's Mary and TFW! They bust in and defeat the angels guarding Charlie and Ketch. Outside, Castiel confronts AU!Castiel.

Cas tells Castiel that he's grown used to humanity and that he prefers humans to angels. Despite this, they both agree that they're the same, and then Cas kills AU!Castiel. I have a whole headcanon about this scene. Ready? Okay. AU!Castiel is broken, tortured by Heaven into existing as a mere weapon. Cas sees this and recognizes his fate, his horrible scars and terrible weaknesses. He sees the soldier. He sees the broken person. And he kills him easily because he views it as both mercy and necessity. AU!Cas is irredeemable, so damaged is he. Now, all he can do is rest eternally in the Empty.

Let's take a hug break.

Cas shakes it off (OR DOES HE?) and everyone reunites at the camp. Bobby announces to the Winchesters that they're all planning to head back with them. Super! It's time for a PARTY BUS! Dean fixes a school bus (Natasha fans herself) and everyone piles onto the bus to head out. Sam runs after Jack and tries to keep him from fulfilling his promise to kill Michael. Sam wants them to regroup and plan a good attack and Lucifer agrees. Jack...listens to Lucifer and then calls him “father.” Yikes, Jack.

The vehicles, packed full of many of my favorite characters, head down the road to the rift. Eek! I sure am glad those rifts mostly only open just off of roadways. When they arrive Sam sees the rift is starting to close.

Rowena's exhausted on the other side, desperately trying to keep the rift open. Everyone files in and through. “About bloody time,” Rowena greets Castiel breathlessly. On the other side of the portal, angels zoom in. Michael arrives with an impressive wing display.

Lucifer and Michael begin to fight while Sam, Dean, and Gabe just....stand around picking their noses, I guess. Until Gabe decides to start fighting Michael. Michael pulls out his archangel blade and they fight. We're feeling pretty good about it until Gabriel gets knifed. NOOOOOOOO every time!

Sam angrily pushes a weakened Lucifer away from the rift and then jumps through. The rift closes behind him leaving Michael and Lucifer behind in the AU.

In the bunker it's a PARTY. Sam thanks Rowena. Charlie and Ketch have forged a friendship (odd but I’ll allow it). Dean and Cas share emotional stares a.k.a. an “eyefuck.” Jack is sad.

Bobby gives the troops a rallying speech and everyone experiences warm and fuzzy feelings. I mean, I certainly do. Look at all their friends! Take that, Team “All My Friends are Dead.”

Back in the AU, Gabriel lies apparently (possibly? definitely?) dead on the ground with charred wings. Lucifer and Michael plot together to get back into the Winchesters’ world and strike a deal. Lucifer will get his son and Michael gets the world. Booo bad deal.

Party Quotes:

What do we do about Lucifer?

You are who you choose to be.

I am not your “sport”

That may be the dumbest friggin’ idea in a landfill of dumb ideas.

You want us to follow you through a magic door that's gonna blast us the hell outta here and into some kind of fairy tale world where everything is pretty?

For whatever reason, I got a good feeling about you two.

See you on the other side, bitches.

And you’re an ass clown.

Way to go, DAD!

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

#spn recap #spn 13x22 #exodus #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #cas #lucifer #mary winchester #jack kline #au!bobby #au!charlie #arthur ketch #rowena macleod #au!castiel #au!michael #gabriel #wow everyone was in this episode #supernatural season 13

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jincherie · 7 years

Text

opia || pt.1

✩ — pairing: Taehyung x reader ✩ — genre: cupid!au, soulmate!au, cupid!Taehyung ✩ — words: 6.7k+ ✩ — warnings: summoning of an otherworldly being, um there’s not really anything else ✩ — notes: AH here is the first part! It’s not too long because I just need to set the scene and get things started, but also it took a while because I had a massive writers block about where and how to start this??? Idk I’m mostly past it now. sidenote:|| I did wonder whether or not I should post this now, but I decided that ultimately I should. Everyone deals with grief in different ways, and I hope that for those of you seeking a distraction this can help in some way. Please remember I love and appreciate you all :)

Taehyung has been matchmaking since the dawn of time, bringing souls together with their other half and inspiring love. But as time went on the joy he gained from his job and creating happiness for the humans began to fade, a wanting and desire welling up in him with each century that passed for something more, something unattainable, something he knew he wouldn’t ever have. Taehyung knew why he didn’t have a soulmate, and why he couldn’t ever experience love as the humans did. But then, he couldn’t seem to fathom… why didn’t you?

masterlist || prologue | next — posted; 21.12.2017

The bell of the café you often frequented chimed as you entered, the door closing gently behind you as you slipped in and made a hurried beeline for the table in the corner. There were two people already seated and they jumped in fright as you threw yourself into the booth, hands gripping the table to stop yourself from sliding too far along the seat.

“Christ, y/n!” Rosé yelped, hand coming up to clutch at her chest. She shot you a wide-eyed look. “Don’t just pop up out of nowhere like that!”

You were slightly out of breath as you sat there, pointedly ignoring her words, “Good morning to you too, sunshine.”

“Why are you dressed like you’re on the run from the government?”

Your head whipped around at the sound of your other friend’s deep voice, meeting the amused gaze of one Min Yoongi.

Admittedly, you kind of were dressed like a half-assed fugitive, but you weren’t expecting to get called out on it so soon. Begrudgingly, you took off the cap and large shades you were sporting, glaring at your mint-haired friend, “It’s my new look.”

Yoongi rolled his eyes, and tried to hide the small smile tugging his lips by taking a sudden sip of his coffee. You were glad he hadn’t probed further for the real reason you looked like some kind of truant, because honestly you’d be embarrassed to tell him.

You didn’t know whether you were going crazy or not, but it had all started a couple of weeks ago when you’d gone for a walk while waiting to pick Yoongi up from his late shift at the club. He was officially a bartender, but knew the manager well enough that he was often allowed to play his tracks and DJ on the odd occasion.

You’d arrived early, and gotten sick of waiting so had decided to go for a walk around that part of the city. It had been nice, you supposed— it was a lovely night and the river looked so much nicer when it was glimmering with the reflection of the city lights. You’d reached a courtyard, one you’d often come to with Yoongi and sometimes Rosé to have lunch, and stopped to admire the serenity of the scene at night. That was when you’d caught sight of him.

He had been absolutely stunning, almost ethereal as he entered the courtyard from your left with such a raw, powerfully magnetic aura you couldn’t do anything but stare on in awe. Everything about him drew you to him, and you couldn’t bring your gaze to part from his form. He almost seemed to glow in the dim light, and there was something about him that almost seemed to shimmer before your very eyes, like you were gazing upon a mirage instead of another human being.

You’d watched, unable to shift your gaze, as he strode forward, each step confident and assured, and stopped at the top of the stairs that marked the true entrance into the courtyard. For a moment he stood still, gaze falling on the opposite side of the courtyard, before suddenly he moved. You blinked, and it was only then you saw the intricate, carved bow in his hands. Through the foggy mixture of awe and curiosity sitting over your mind like fine mist, there was a distant pang of alarm. He had a bow.

This time when he moved you didn’t blink, and you saw as he lifted his hands and arrows— golden, with tips dipped in crimson—seemed to almost materialise in his grasp. The breath that had left you at the sight of him suddenly caught in your throat, alarm blaring like a foghorn in your mind and clearing the mist that had settled over your thoughts. A slight sense of panic welled in your chest as you watched, still unable to shift your gaze, as he nocked the arrows and drew—

A sharp gasp had torn from your throat as the arrows flew through the air and you were finally able to tear your gaze from the man to watch them, just in time to see them hit the chests of two women across the courtyard and disintegrate into fine crimson glitter upon impact. Shock, confusion, fear— you were drowning in a peculiar cocktail of it all as your gaze flew back to the man at the top of the stairs— but was he really just a man?

You had been rooted to the spot, mind urging you to run, to get away because this was new and scary and you had no idea how to respond to it, at all. Just as you’d found the will to move your leaden legs, the man shifted, head turning, and his gaze caught yours, and all at once you felt as though you’d been shocked. His eyes widened and electricity fizzled down your spine, the hairs on the back of your neck raising sharply. You stood there for a moment, frozen and locked in this man’s magnetic gaze, before finally your brain kicked back into gear and you regained control of your limbs.

You’d turned on your heel and ran. You hadn’t glanced back, but a glimpse as you turned told you he had remained where he stood, looking every bit as frozen as you’d felt just before.

Of course, after that, ‘confused’ hadn’t been enough to describe and properly articulate what you were feeling. You’d just seen a man, a beautiful man with the face and body of a greek god, materialise a bow and arrow out of thin air and shoot two women with it— except, when it hit them, it hadn’t pierced them. It had burst into a shower of crimson glitter upon contact and they looked like they hadn’t even realised. You didn’t know what aspect of the situation threw you for a loop the most.

That night had been alarming, but you would have been able to easily dismiss it as perhaps a fever dream, or a figment of your imagination. It wasn’t enough to have you sneaking around in broad daylight and dressing, as Yoongi had ever-so-flatteringly put it, like you were “on the run from the government”.

You would have been able to dismiss it, except that wasn’t the last time you saw the man with the magnetic aura and dangerous eyes. Ever since then, you’d been running into him by chance, catching sight of him from across the street, glimpsing him in malls and on the train. Perhaps you wouldn’t worry so much if each and every time his head didn’t whip around and he didn’t catch sight of you, too.

Despite the shock you’d always see on his face, you were… paranoid. Was he following you? Did you really see something you weren’t meant to see? What did you see? He’d always start, and move as though to come towards you, but you were quicker. If anything at this point you’d call yourself an escape artist. By the time he’d catch sight of you and it would register that he’d seen you, you were already well on your way out of there.

So, you’d resorted to this— a half-hearted disguise, in case he really was following you. Although, you admitted, it was pretty weak as far as disguises went. Just a cap and large sunglasses, and maybe a hoodie if the weather permitted it. You really needed to work a bit harder on it.

“Anyway, as I was saying before y/n showed up and nearly killed me,” Rosé sent you a mock-glare, and you responded with a shrug and a cheeky smile. “You guys remember how I applied at that company the other day, for the stylist position?”

You nodded, reaching for her drink and taking a sip before she noticed, “I don’t know why you didn’t just apply to be a trainee— your voice is lovely, Rosé, and you’re gorgeous.”

The raven-haired female smacked you on the arm, a pretty blush rising to her cheeks. “Shut up! And thank you, but I don’t think that’s the life for me.”

You shrugged, taking another sip as Yoongi spoke up, “You were saying? You applied at the company as a stylist?”

Rosé spun, beaming so brightly you wondered if everyone else felt like they were looking at the sun when they saw it too. “I got the job!” she burst, hands raising in excitement. “They called me this morning!”

You grinned, poking her arm. “That’s amazing, Rosie! I’m so proud of you!”

The girl beside you grinned so brightly she almost glowed, her voice high and coloured with excitement as she spoke, “Thanks, y/n! Oh, and guess what!”

You didn’t even have a chance to open your mouth and attempt to guess before she was excitedly gushing the answer, “I managed to get you a job too! They said they were looking for someone to work as an assistant for one of their models and asked if I knew anyone that would be interested, so I told them about you and after hearing it they were pretty much sold! They gave me this to give to you— you have a meeting with them at 10AM on Friday to sort out all the details!”

You could only blink in shock as she finished with a squeal, taking your hands in hers and moving about. Distantly, you heard Yoongi snickering at what was no doubt a dumbfounded expression on your face.

“Isn’t this great, y/n?” Rosé crowed, warm brown eyes glimmering with happiness at the fact that she’d done something to help her best friend. “You won’t have to struggle with interviews and placements anymore!”

The significance of what she was saying finally caught up to you. Belatedly, a gasp tore from your throat that had Yoongi laughing louder. “You got me a job!”

Rosé nodded, and you abruptly launched yourself at her, bringing her into your arms and making dramatic wailing noises. “Rosie! You got me a job! God, I love you!”

She giggled, her own slim arms coming to wrap around you, a hand patting your back. “I know you do, and you’re welcome.” She pulled back, her hands finding your shoulders as he expression grew solemn and she stared you down. “I’m the one that recommended you, so don’t screw this up or they’ll be on my ass.”

You gave a light snort, rolling your yes playfully but you nodded nonetheless. “Please, Rosie, I’m an angel.”

Yoongi snorted and you decided to be the better person and ignore him. That is, until he opened his mouth, “I, and many other people you know, would beg to differ.”

“Shut up Min Yoongles,” you retorted, nailing him with a half-hearted dirty look. “You wouldn’t know an angel if it flew over and smacked you in the face.”

The mint-haired male shot you a smile that you could only describe as knowing before he hid it once more by taking a prompt sip of his coffee. Suddenly perplexed as to why Yoongi had adopted a look like he knew something you didn’t, you opened your mouth to grill him about it when the sound of Rosé’s soft laughter greeted your ears.

“Ah, it’s good to know no matter how long we go without seeing you you’ll never change,” she hummed, looping her arm through yours. She straightened suddenly, turning to you with wide eyes. “Oh right! Don’t forget y/n, the three of us have a date tonight!”

At your look of confusion she gasped, affronted, and Yoongi snickered. His deep tone reached your ears, voice playful, “Don’t tell me you forgot, y/n.”

You made a face at him and Rosé groaned. She smacked your arm, eliciting a sharp yelp from you as she spoke, “y/n, you idiot, tonight is the night Yoongi has a gig at that high-end club in the city. We said we were going to go there and support him…?”

Recognition sparked somewhere in the back of your mind as you remembered. You felt a little guilty for forgetting, especially since it was pretty significant— this would be the first time Yoongi was performing somewhere that wasn’t his own workplace. Yet, at the same time…

You narrowed your eyes at the raven-haired girl by your side. “Support him? You mean you’re going there to prowl for some fresh di—”

“y/n!” Rosé yelped, cheeks flushing sheepishly as she whipped her head around to make sure no one in the café heard you.

“—all the while leaving me alone and awkward at the bar to drink my sorrows away?” you finished, raising an eyebrow at her.

Yoongi laughed, nearly choking on his drink, at the borderline mortified look on your friend’s face. “Listen, just because both of you are literal hermits,” Rosé hissed, pinning you both with a dirty look. You tried not to laugh, you really did. “Doesn’t mean I can’t go out and enjoy myself if I want. And you know what? It’s true, the crowd at the other place is getting old—”

A strangled noise escaped you as you tried not to burst into laughter. Yoongi grinned at the bristling raven-haired girl, “You really mean there’s no dick there you haven’t already tried—OW!”

Rosé threw the spoon by her hand at him and it made a satisfying noise as it connected with his forehead. The action made you break, laughter tumbling from your lips. Rosé reached and picked up the spoon from where it landed on the table after bouncing off Yoongi’s forehead and proceeded to hit you with it, crying out, “Shut up! Oh my god I hate you both!”

Eventually your laughter calmed down and Rosé’s violent spell dispersed, and your little weekly get-together proceeded as it usually would, the three of you filling each other in on the latest gossip you’d gathered over the past seven days since you’d gotten together last. You saw each other briefly before now, of course, but it was almost a ritual that you would gather of a Monday morning and cleanse yourselves with some good bitching and impromptu therapy for the week ahead. Usually, you left feeling lighter than ever after spilling your guts, but today… today you left feeling just as troubled as you did walking in.

You hadn’t mustered the courage to tell your best friends about what had been bothering you, the irrational fear of them labelling you as crazy inhibiting you from allowing all your fears and worries to gush forth. You knew, of course, they’d never judge you, they’d support you, and yet… you hadn’t been able to force the words from where they sat at the tip of your tongue.

Perhaps there was a reason, you pondered. Maybe you were making the whole thing out to be a bigger deal than it really was. Maybe, subconsciously, you knew it would be a ridiculous thing to confess to your friends— that you’d seen someone in the dead of night shoot two women with a bow and arrows made of gold that exploded into a shimmering show of glitter, and that ever since then you’d been seeing him everywhere you went. It had been late at night, you’d been tired, and pretty stressed lately—perhaps it was all a hallucination? A vivid dream conjured by your imagination that seeped a little too much into reality?

For the sake of your own sanity as you exited the café and went on your way to complete your errands for the day, you decided to dismiss it as just that. You didn’t want to be running around in the shadows anymore, paranoid every time you turned a corner that the man from that night would be there. It was a dream, you affirmed. It had to be— especially since no one on this earth could possibly be as beautiful in real life as that man had been.

x x x x x x x

With a certain amount of flair that only he could possess, Taehyung threw the final ingredient into the carved, deep bowl on a stand before him and snapped his fingers. At once the contents were set alight and flames, cerulean and white, licked at the gleaming precious metal of the bowl while the ingredients— petals, leaves, a coin, a small piece of parchment— burned to ashes. The flame remained strong in the bowl, and Taehyung whispered the name of the being he wished to summon in a low baritone that echoed eerily off the walls with the power thrumming through his veins. His eyes slid closed as he waited for the tell-tale sound of their arrival.

There was a flutter, air rushing against him like a gentle breeze that caused the flame in the bowl to flicker and sway, and a loud curse filled the air, “Shit, Taehyung, again?”

The male in question turned on his heel, a bright smile pulling shapely lips. “Jiminie!” he beamed, pleasant chocolate orbs swirling as he greeted the disgruntled figure standing by the window. “You came!”

It was a male of short yet powerful stature, eyes dark and warm as they swept over the room before falling over Taehyung. He folded his arms and tilted his head, windswept raven locks falling over his forehead as he pinned the younger with a pointed look. He licked his plump, pink lips before he spoke, voice light and melodic as it graced the air, “Well, yeah. You summoned me, dumbass.”

Taehyung grinned, waving his hand in a sweeping gesture so that the blue flames still licking at the bowl beside him flickered and went out completely. No longer bound, the shorter male’s form visibly relaxed. “That’s true, but you can always resist the call.”

Jimin stepped forward, rolling his eyes, but his expression softened slightly as his dark gaze moved to meet that of the younger. “Whatever, Tae. Is there a reason you called me this time, or are you interrupting my day for fun again?”

Taehyung’s eyes widened innocently, large hand pressing to his chest in mock offense. “Of course there is a reason! I need you to do something for me.”

The male sighed, snapping his fingers and falling back onto the lavish couch that appeared behind him, bringing the cocktail that appeared in his hand to his mouth for a resigned sip, striped straw pressing between plush lips. “Of course you do. What is it this time, brother?”

The ashen-haired male shifted, resting his hip against the desk and sending the older male a look that bordered on pleading. “I need you to find out information on someone for me.”

A dark brow rose, surprise filtering over his pleasant features. “Information on someone? A human?”

Taehyung nodded, arms folding over his chest as he mentally prepared himself should his brother choose to tease him with the material he’d just given him. To his surprise, the raven-haired male just shrugged, letting out a soft ‘huh’ as he sent him a curious look.

“Why do you need information on a human?” he queried, dark eyes sparkling with something akin to mischief as he pinned the other with a playful look. “Don’t tell me you’ve gotten into trouble with someone in the human world again.”

Shaking his head frivolously, Taehyung brought his hands together, pleasant chocolate eyes pleading. “I didn’t! Please, Jiminie, can you do this for me? There’s something I need to figure out.”

Jimin shot him an odd look, but let out a sigh nonetheless, taking another resigned sip of his drink. “Fine, I’ll see what I can find. Who is this human I’m looking for, what’s their name?”

The ashen-haired male beamed gratefully at him, “Thanks, Jimin-ah!” he grinned, before a sheepish expression washed over his pleasant features. “And, uh, well… it’s a girl. Um…”

When he didn’t continue further, a look that was a curious cross between knowing and disbelief graced Jimin’s face as he sputtered on his drink. “You called me here to find information on someone and you don’t even know their name?” he scoffed lightly, eyes slightly scolding as they met Taehyung’s own. “I’m no miracle worker, Taehyung. We both know that’s not one of my responsibilities.”

Jimin’s expression soured as his thoughts turned to the person in question, muttering something along the lines of, “If that brat doesn’t call me back soon it’ll be a miracle he doesn’t get his ass beat” under his breath. Taehyung fought a smile, hoping their brother was smart enough to respond to Jimin before he came after him and tore him a new one for ignoring him.

He didn’t speak, instead sending the older male a pleading look, begging him with wide eyes. Jimin sighed, acquiescing not for the first time to those puppy eyes he was so susceptible to. “Fine! Just, give me something to go off— what does she look like? What bonds did she have? What did her soul feel like?”

Taehyung’s grin fell at the first two questions, “I, uh… I didn’t see.”

Jimin gaped, looking ready to pop a blood vessel. “You didn’t see her bonds? Taehyung, how could you not see the strings stemming from her very being— that’s one of your gifts!”

A hand came up to rub the back of his neck as he offered a sheepish look. “I was looking, but she was gone so quick I didn’t have time to see them,” he said, words rushing. “But I kind of remember how she looked.”

Jimin took a large sip of his drink, swirling the contents in the glass to soothe the nerves thrumming with frustration. “Oh, good. What did she look like, then?”

Taehyung shifted his weight from one foot to the other. The sheer look of relief in his brother’s eyes almost made him regret what he was going to answer with. “…Beautiful,” he mumbled, moving his gaze aside so he wouldn’t see the drop in the raven-haired male’s face.

“Taehyung,” Jimin said seriously, glaring at him. “I’m going to murder you if you ever make me do something like this again. Is there nothing you can give me that will actually help? There are literally thousands of humans in this city!”

The younger offered an apologetic look, before closing his eyes and trying to remember what he could. “Her soul… it was warm, and strong— it’s not like any human soul I’ve ever seen before. I could feel it from across the courtyard; it was like it was pulling me towards her.” He opened his eyes, giving Jimin the rest of the information he could, “It was very bright, every time I’ve glimpsed her since then she has stood out from those around her. She’s quick though, always gone before I can commit it to memory and get a good enough read to be able to find her myself.”

“I see her most on the other side of town,” he added thoughtfully after a moment. “She must live in the southern suburbs.”

When he returned his gaze to his brother, he looked perplexed, but curiosity had sparked in his dark eyes. “Huh,” was all the response he got, the older gazing at him intensely for a moment longer before he stood promptly. Taehyung’s eyes followed him as he waved the lounge away and moved back over to the open window, drink still in hand.

“Well, now that I have the tiniest bit of something to go off, rather than nothing at all, I shall be off. Don’t summon me for a while,” he said, delivering the younger with a pointed look. “If you summon me before I’m ready I will beat you up— and if you see that brat, tell him to respond to me or I’ll beat him up too.”

Taehyung nodded, holding his hands up to show his cooperation. He offered a bright beam, “Thanks again, Jiminie.”

Jimin grumbled, raven hair shifting in the soft breeze from the window, “Yeah, whatever. Don’t thank me yet.”

Then Taehyung blinked and he was gone with a flutter and soft gush of wind, sunlight filtering through the open window and bathing the floor golden where he’d just stood. He allowed himself a soft chuckle now that it was safe to do so without the danger of Jimin throttling him, and began packing the carved bowl and its contents away neatly in the cupboard by his desk. He brought a key from his pocket and locked it, mind still on the contents of the conversation he’d just had.

He had been worried Jimin wouldn’t help him—his brother was in a position where he could easily find out anything he wanted about any one human, but with the amount of information Taehyung had—or rather the amount he didn’t have— even for him it would no doubt be a difficult task. He bit his lip as his thoughts went back further, to the reason he’d summoned his brother in the first place.

That girl… Taehyung hadn’t been entirely honest when he’d been speaking to Jimin. When he first saw her that night in the courtyard, he had glimpsed her with his Sight, and he had seen her bonds. But something perplexed him still, something he didn’t want to admit to Jimin yet because he himself didn’t understand it.

From her heart that girl had many rosy strings, something that signified healthy friendships, and several thicker strings of the same colour, something that signified healthy close friendships. These weren’t unusual— almost every human had friends, acquaintances and friends that were so close they were almost like family, just as every human had a soulmate. But when he had glimpsed at this girl, something had been missing, something that by no means possible should have been absent.

When he’d looked at this girl, there had been no telling, faint cord, realised or otherwise, that he was so used to seeing. There had been nothing. What he didn’t think was ever possible, was suddenly standing right in front of him.

When he’d looked at this girl, he hadn’t seen the string of a soulmate.

And Taehyung wanted to know why.

x x x x x x x

The booming bass of one of Yoongi’s harder tracks reverberated off the walls of the club and through your very being, the air thick and heady with the scent and sweat and lust. Already you felt hotter than you had before, your form-fitting clothes sticking that bit closer to your skin, the hair brushing your neck creating a pocket of warmth against your flesh. The dimness of the large room was broken by the globes that cast harsh, saturated colours across the dancefloor, the areas they didn’t touch lit in a violet glow. Already you were noticing just how starkly different this club was to the one you usually frequented to see Yoongi, expensive entry fee aside.

You’d wormed through the sweaty, mingling forms to reach the bar on the other side of the room as soon as you’d entered, Rosé hot on your tail, but the second your ass touched the seat she was off— just like you’d predicted. You didn’t really mind that much, but you weren’t looking forward to cleaning up the mess your best friend tended to become after nights like these spent with the wrong men. It was her choice, you couldn’t stop her, but sometimes you wished she didn’t keep walking back into the same scenario over and over again.

Yoongi had already been playing for an hour or so before you got there with Rosé, and from what you could tell the crowd was loving it. You could see him from where you were situated at the bar, and your chest swelled with pride as you watched him bounce with the beat, a gummy grin shifting his features. The night was going well for him and you couldn’t be any happier.

After deciding earlier in the day not to worry about the ‘problem’ that had been plaguing you all week, you felt lighter, like a great weight had been lifted from your shoulders. You wondered why you even got so worked up in the first place— did you really think you’d been seeing the man from your dream all over the place? You hadn’t so much as glimpsed him all day, only further cementing your suspicion that you’d been overly paranoid about the whole thing this whole time. You weren’t worried anymore, in fact you’d been on top of the world for the rest of the day, and had been looking forward to coming here as a sort of celebration for liberation from your own paranoia. Anticipation swirled in your gut, a prominent feeling that something good was going to happen tonight, something important. While you tried not to pay it too much mind, it definitely contributed to your current disposition.

However, as much as you rejoiced the good feelings running your mood right now, there was still a part of you that wondered— if it was just a dream, then why did you remember it so vividly? How was it you remembered his features so precisely that you thought you recognised him on the street? Even as you sat there, sipping the sweet drink in your hand, there was a part of you that feared maybe you had been right to be paranoid, and that any second now you were going to glimpse the beautiful man again.

It was a part that, with the aid of the drink in your grasp and the thrumming atmosphere around you, was easily snuffed out. You weren’t here to worry, you were here to enjoy yourself— even if that meant sitting to the side and watching your own friends have fun instead of you. If they were happy, then you were happy.

Hours passed with ease, and by the time it was nearing the end of Yoongi’s gig you’d downed perhaps one too many colourful drinks yet somehow managed to remain surprisingly sober— although your gross motor skills might beg to differ. You’d received a text from Rosé not too long ago to meet her at the door in fifteen minutes, and you decided in the meanwhile to enjoy the remaining time you had since you probably wouldn’t be going out like this again for a while. The feeling in your tummy had remained throughout the night, only seeming to grow stronger as time wore on. You ignored it.

Sipping the most recent drink you’d ordered—a deliciously sweet, swirling rosy cocktail that tasted like raspberry and vanilla on your tongue— you gazed over to the remaining large mass of bodies shifting and moving over the dancefloor, before your gaze moved over the rest of the establishment. You’d taken it in before, but it still awed you to an extent. Large, glittering orbs hung from the sweeping, high ceiling, and the already large room was skirted further by a second-story balcony that lead to more highly-coveted parts of the club beyond your sight. You allowed your gaze to flicker over the faces you could see with a mild sense of curiosity, a thought brushing the back of your mind as an idle reminder that you’d have to move soon.

Your eyes swept over the people mingling on the top balcony, only straying to glimpse at the glass ornaments that reflected the strobe lights and glimmered, shaking with the bass of the beat as it boomed through the speakers. Your gaze quickly returned to the people on the balconies, and you resumed your observation when you froze. Your heart skipped several beats, your blood freezing in your veins as recognition swept over you and caught your breath in your throat.

No, your mind, sluggish with intoxication, suddenly kicked into motion. It’s not possible, it isn’t him.

The man that had caused a cold flush of fear to wash over your body stood on the balcony furthest from the door. His tall form, fitted in a silken silver shirt and black slacks that accentuated his long legs and broad shoulders, leant enticingly against the metal railing. His back was to you, attention captured by the beautiful brunette before him, his ashen hair glowing multicolour beneath the strobing lights. The sight of him sent a jolt down your spine, a funny feeling shooting from your heart to mix with the sensation that had been present in your stomach all night. You fought the slight fear rising within you, the instinctive reaction that had taken a hold of you at the sudden stimulus and reaction, and tried to reason with yourself. You’d come to terms with the fact the whole thing had been a dream just today— this was a wild coincidence, someone who looked eerily like him. You hadn’t even seen his face, there was absolutely no way it could be—

Before you could even finish that train of thought the male beneath your gaze jolted, spine stiffening, and he turned. Your denial died in your throat as the very eyes that had fallen upon you that night now kept you trapped in their dark, magnetising gaze once more. You watched as shock spread across his face, a familiar sight by this point, and all at once you were suddenly aware you were in the same building as the man you’d been running from this entire time. You couldn’t tear your eyes away, but your mind was urging you to run once more, just as it had when you’d seen him draw his bow and fire at two women right before you.

Without thinking, your eyes flickered to the door where it stood on the other side of the mingling mass of people on the dancefloor, and when you looked back and realised your mistake it was too late. A look of realisation overcame his beautiful features and you knew then if you didn’t bolt now then this time he would most certainly catch you before you could get away. You wrenched yourself from your seat, and before you tore your eyes from his alluring form you saw him jolt, something that sent a spike of alarm down your spine.

You darted towards the crowd on the dancefloor, eyes trying to find the easiest path through as you weaved in and out of dancing forms oblivious to your current situation and panic. You wanted to push them aside, almost desperate to make it to the door, but amongst the blaring music and shifting bodies you could hardly make a path for yourself. Somehow in your journey for the front of the establishment, you’d been jostled and bumped, guided to the side of the dancefloor— closer to where you wanted to be yet so far away. You were closer to the corner of the room than you were to the open dancefloor and where you needed to be. Panicked, you knew you were running out of time as you moved to dart back towards the door before a voice reached your ears through the heavy, booming bass and froze you in your tracks.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

It was a smooth baritone, a tone so deep and powerful, so utterly commanding of attention you could hear it clearly through the music, as though it was being whispered right against your ear. Your body spun, like it was acting on a will of its own, and your breath caught in your throat at the sight of the man you’d been running from suddenly so close, so magnetic and so absolutely breathtaking before your very eyes. Your thoughts ceased as he stepped closer and through the intoxicated haze sitting like fine mist over your mind, you registered the peculiar scent of ylang-ylang, caramel, and something inexplicably warm that sent a shiver down your spine and a spike of exhilaration to join the swirling cocktail of emotion in the pit of your stomach.

You could hardly force the words you wanted to say from your mouth, could hardly think. Your tone shook as the words fell from your mouth unwittingly, “It’s y-you.”

He was beautiful, strikingly so and in a sense that you could hardly describe the sight of him as anything but ethereal. His eyes, warm and doe-like and framed by long lashes, held your gaze with such intensity and drew you in with such ease that you could feel your cheeks heating. He smiled, shapely lips curving into a smile that was decidedly sinful.

“Yes, me. You’ve been doing a good job of running away up until now, haven’t you?” he murmured, eyes keeping you trapped in place as he stepped forward. Something in you called for him, urged you to reach and touch him, and it terrified you. “But now that I finally have you here, there are some things I want to know.”

You couldn’t speak, could hardly breathe as he raised a hand and his fingertips brushed against your cheek in the softest, most tantalising of touches. A jolt of electricity sparked down your spine, setting your skin alight, and your senses returned to you all at once. You jerked back, taking two firm steps away but unable to make yourself take any more— he still held you in his gaze, after all.

Words gushed forth before you could stop them, a defence mechanism to compensate for how helpless you felt. “I don’t think I’m obliged to tell the person I saw shooting people with a bow and arrow in the dead of night anything,” you defied somewhat shakily, fist clenching as you tried to muster the will to step further away.

The man’s gaze swept over your body in a once-over that left a flash of heat flushing over your skin. His head tilted, ashen hair tickling his cheekbones and his single, long, glittering earring swaying with the movement of his head as an intrigued expression graced his almost angelic features. “Cute,” the sound of his deep voice caressing the word, in reference to you, sent a shiver down the length of your neck and spine. “I want to know, sweetheart, what’s your name?”

The longer you were in his presence the deeper you were drawn into him, yet the more awareness returned to you. You managed another step back, and he followed you with ease. You hardly registered the club, the dancing bodies or the booming music around you as his gaze burned into yours and you sobered more. “No,” you said, less of a waver in your tone. His eyebrows rose, and you took another step back, and another. “I’m not telling you.”

Something glinted in his eyes, sparked to life at the challenge you were presenting, and he took a step closer. You took another two back. Before he even managed to open his mouth, there was a loud call from behind you, high tone just barely reaching you over the music and causing cold dread to flush over you.

“y/n, come on! Let’s go!”

You stiffened, a muted sense of horror filling you as you saw the man’s face light in realisation, eyes darting between you and something behind you as he connected the information he’d received.

Realising you now had an opportunity, you used his momentary distraction to spin on your heels and bolt for the door. You had better luck creating a path now, and before you knew it you were by the door, rushing by a smiling Rosé who gave a surprised yelp when you pulled her out with you.

You moved as far away as you could, ignoring the somewhat slurred protests and questions Rosé was throwing at you as you dragged her along. Your mind was struggling, whirring as fast as it could with the remnants of your drinks hindering it. The image of the man was burnt so clearly into your mind’s eye, you were struggling to remain in denial. You wanted to go back to an hour ago, when you’d been so sure that he’d just been an image your mind had conjured while you slept. But with the scent of him still present in your nose, the feel of him a memory clinging to your skin, you couldn’t— you couldn’t delude yourself any longer.

The man you saw that night was real. He knew you saw him, and now he knew your name. a prominent feeling in your gut told you this wouldn’t be the last time you saw him.

And nothing alarmed you more.

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eregyrn-falls · 7 years

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I remember this old post about if Ford's hands are normal and if Stan was the polydactyl. How does the elder Pines twins personalities change if that was the case? Is Stan more violent or shyer? Is Ford more protective of his twin. Does he develop an interest in the supernatural?

Oh gosh, this is such an interesting set of questions! Apologies for the late reply on this, Anon, I didn’t mean to seem like I was ignoring it; I was giving this some time to percolate in my head.

I haven’t actually run across any posts before that discussed in depth the idea of Stan being the one who was polydactyl, instead of Ford! (The main post I can think of that I saw mentioning it was this one here, and I don’t recall seeing follow-up discussions?)

I guess the first question is just: how much of Stan’s and Ford’s personalities are innate, and how much were influenced by their circumstances (in which I’m including the polydactyly as a circumstance). There’s reams of other meta out there about the natures of both elder Pines twins, and some of the assumptions in some of that meta, as well as just the “general consensus” popular in the fandom, undoubtedly influences how I think of them.

For example: I’m firmly in the camp that thinks that both Stan and Ford are very smart; but, I think that they process information and express their intelligence in different ways. Ford seems to have a natural affinity for “book-learning”, by which I mean traditional schooling and research. The way Stan is portrayed as a child makes me think that he isn’t so great with traditional learning, and that’s what led to him being an under-achiever, because in the late 50s and early 60s, schools were not as good at identifying when a child was falling behind or acting out because they needed a different learning style to thrive. I’ve always though of Stan as a more “kinetic” learner, good with physical tasks and also better at learning by demonstration than by lecture/reading.

(The usual sidenote applies here: if this is true of Stan, then it makes his teaching himself to get the Portal working again that much more impressive. Just because he might be more comfortable with non-book-learning doesn’t mean he can’t learn from so-called traditional sources. It just means that it’s a different kind of challenge for him than for someone who meshes very well with that form of learning. Both Stan and Ford are very stubborn and tenacious. In my view, Stan slacked off as a child, and cheated in school, because he was rebelling against school not giving him what he needed; and, I feel, because it was a vicious cycle in which he was being told by parents and school authority figures that he wasn’t good at it, and he internalized that and stopped trying. When it came to fixing the Portal, he put aside doubts and preferences and single-mindedly devoted himself to that goal.)

In ATOTS, we’re told that it’s Ford’s polydactyly that creates his interest in science fiction and anomalies. And yes, that’s an easy answer, but… I’m not sure that necessarily has to be completely true. You don’t need to have an unusual trait like that, to be a very smart little kid who becomes deeply invested in scifi/fantasy and all of that stuff. I do think that his unusual trait created for him an additional feeling of connection to those subjects, and I do think that he used that connection as an additional means to cope with the anxiety that his unusual status, and the teasing he received because of it, created.

So, if Stan is the one who’s polydactyl – well, I don’t think that changes the fact that as a little kid in the 50s/60s, he wasn’t as well suited to the style of schooling he was forced into. He’d still have those unaddressed learning problems in school, and that would probably still have caused him to receive negative feedback from his parents and teachers. It’s just that little polydactyl Stan would have the additional problem of being regarded as a “freak” by classmates (and maybe by adults too), as well as regarded as “lazy”, and a “cheater”, and a “class clown” (which seems probable; we’re not told specifically that he was, but, it seems pretty likely given everything about Stan’s personality, and the principal does refer to him as a clown).

On the flip side, little Ford may be “normal”, but he’s still abnormally smart, and his excelling at traditional schooling wouldn’t have changed. And as many people know, that alone can become a cause for being ostracized and bullied by classmates. He may still have developed an interest in scifi/fantasy and the supernatural, as a sort of intellectual/emotional “escape”.

But, the further thing I think might happen is that little Stan may also develop more of an interest in that direction (maybe with Ford’s encouragement?). In ATOTS, when they were little, we saw monster-movie posters and that monster mask around Stan’s bed; and even into adulthood we find that he’s interested in things like taxidermy and stop-motion animation and stuff. Might little polydactyl Stan have gotten into that even more, if he (like Ford in canon) felt like he “belonged” among the “freaks” and side-show attractions?

Going back to similarities and differences between the two of them – Stan is obviously the more outgoing of the two, the one with the “big personality”. And he does seem like the more aggressive of them – but, they’re actually closer in that regard than it seems at first glance. There are plenty of moments in the show where we see that Ford has a temper and becomes aggressive towards threats. Both Pines men have a tendency to turn fear into anger (think of Stan yelling at the kids when he’s fighting the zombies; think of Ford threatening Probabilator when he’s tied up). Stan still seems to be the more extroverted of the two, and Ford the more socially awkward. But Ford’s aggression likely isn’t a completely learned behavior (i.e. a survival mechanism only learned while dimension-hopping). It’s probably just a Pines trait that he had all along, but as a small child wasn’t confident enough to rely on.

So I do feel a bit like little polydactyl Stan might not have needed quite as much standing-up-for as little Ford did. Even from an early age, Stan seems to instinctively turn attacks back on his attackers. Crampelter calls them losers, and Stan’s response is basically to say, “takes one to know one”. Little Ford’s response to bullying was to let it get to him; Stan’s is to turn it around and throw it back in the bully’s face. What I can easily imagine is little Stan doing just that to anyone who teased him for having six fingers – turning it into a joke, or just a belligerant “yeah? what’s it to ya?” I don’t think he would have been unaffected, deep down – just as, in canon, he clearly was affected by all the people who called him a loser and said he’d never amount to anything. That got to him, even though he tried to cover it with bluster and over the top confidence.

Little Ford is harder for me to figure out, just because I’m not quite sure why he was so passive as a little kid, since he would develop that Pines pugnaciousness once he got to adulthood. He took all that bullying really hard, it’s clear; and he needed a lot more support and reassurance than little Stan seemed to. Or is that the point? Did little Stan (in canon) also really need that stuff, but he just covered up the need with bluster, while little Ford didn’t? Meanwhile, in this AU – if little Ford isn’t being bullied for being a “freak”, and is “only” being bullied for being the typical too-smart little kid, does that result in his being a little bit more outgoing and willing to stand up for Stan?

I could go either way on that. I’m having a hard time seeing little Ford playing the belligerant, “get lost, bullies!” role in defense of his brother; just as I’m having a hard time seeing little polydactyl Stan NOT standing up for himself (even if it does hurt deep down). I could see a little bit of both, perhaps? But I do see little Ford trying to be supportive of his brother. And if little Ford is still a scifi nerd – and especially if that’s an interest his brother shares a bit more – then I could still see him being interested in the anomalous, as a way to keep trying to prove to his brother that being an anomaly makes Stan cool and special, rather than “a freak”.

At least, that’s a dynamic I’d like to *think* would happen.

Let me insert a sidenote here about the boxing lessons. In canon, Filbrick signs both boys up for boxing lessons, after little Stan is shown being picked-on by the older bullies. There’s an implication that the boxing lessons gave little Stan confidence, and caused him to blossom from a nerdy, dorky-looking teen, into one who gets the girl. Meanwhile, Ford is hiding his face in a book rather than paying attention to practice. While adult Ford appears capable of handling himself, the boxing lessons don’t seem to have given little Ford as much confidence. One thing that interests me about that, going back up to a point I made above, is that if Stan is a “kinetic” learner, that might explain why the boxing lessons worked better for him. So this too may not change if Stan is polydactyl. I don’t see any reason why being polydactyl would have a negative effect on learning to box. (I don’t think that’s why Ford didn’t take to it as well.) Plus – when you’re boxing, if your hands are in gloves, nobody can see that you’re polydactyl? It sort of evens the playing field, as it were.

(This leaves completely aside the slight timeline difficulties of that sequence, as well as the question of whether some of the details were Stan, telling the story to Soos in his memories, deliberately conflating details of Ford’s and his childhood experiences. Tiny glasses-Stan being bullied in Dreamscapers could be true; and little non-glasses Stan standing up to bullies in ATOTS could be post-boxing-lessons, having gained in confidence. The part that bugs me is why he would then go from more-confident little non-glasses Stan, to nerdy/dorky glasses-wearing teen Stan at the movies, punching Carla’s attacker. But, ehn. For purposes of this discussion, let’s just go with the broad strokes of what that sequence conveys.)

So, where does that lead both of their lives, though?

Does polydactyl Stan come to rely even more on his brother as his only friend, the person who makes him feel like his unusual hands aren’t just no big deal, but are in fact special? Does that just make Stan even more reluctant to see Ford go away to college? Unfortunately, I could see that happening. I’m not sure that reversing the circumstances does anything to address the problems that led to their falling out – the lack of good communication that arose as they became teenagers, or Stan’s dreams of leaving everything behind to pursue a dream career.

Plus, I don’t know that it affects another innate quality that Stan seems to have – like his mother, for some reason, Stan is drawn to performance and to conning people. He has a talent for it (at least, he does some of the time, since we have to remember all the sales pitches and cons he failed to pull off). In that context, the polydactyly is both a curse and a blessing. A curse, because it makes it less easy for Stan to blend in and become anonymous; he’s always going to attract SOME attention, and he has a trait that he can’t easily hide, the way he can grow out or cut his hair, or grow a mustache. But a blessing, if he took it that way, because used correctly it could make for a great distraction, as well as a great prop in certain kinds of cons.

Meahwhile – with the connection to anomalies being through his twin, rather than through himself, does Ford still become as motivated to pursue that study as a life’s work? In particular, what happens to that interest if/when he and Stan have a falling out? Would Ford still continue to pursue that line of study when it would be a constant reminder of his twin? Or, bitter at what he thinks of as Stan’s betrayal and untrustworthiness, does he also bitterly reject the subject he once loved, and once wanted to pursue out of love for his twin? Does he wind up going into some other field, like quantum mechanics or engineering?

I guess I’d conclude that whether their lives go off on substantially different paths, or not, comes down to many different decision points, not just that one difference. Ford could wind up on a path that never takes him to Gravity Falls or brings him into contact with Bill. Or, you could still find a way for that to happen, even if some of the details proceeded differently. Stan might have somehow used that extra motivation / sense of identification with the weird to propel him into a still shady but viable career path earlier (inspired by his mother’s similar career; that is, himself starting something like the Mystery Shack elsewhere, and earlier, a kind of carnival barker / P.T. Barnum showman). …Or, Stan might have been just that little bit even more dependent on Ford for a feeling of validation, and still messed up, resulting in a rift between the two.

Personally, I think that changing a detail like that becomes more interesting if the results are markedly different from canon. But basically, I’d be happy to read it, either way. :)

#gravity falls #stanley pines #stanford pines #meta #LONG POST

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