#as a woman I really understand her pain that we don't share our man

[duahauuoplanh]

I already knew it from the start

[pickingupmymercedes]

I'd like to believe - Lewis Hamilton

Alternative sequel to Maybe in another life / When I get to meet you

pairing: Lewis Hamilton x Reader!

warnings: mentions of mourning, angst, will make you emotional

wordcount: +1K

a/n: Alternative-ish ending (this was actually my first draft to continue their story, so the happy-ish one is the alternative, sort of).

As always, I'm open for feedback, come say hi!

MILD TRIGGERING CONTENT UNDER, PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

______________________________________________________________

My dearest little one,

Today marks ten years since you should have been here, celebrating another year of life. Ten times the snow has fallen, making everything quiet outside.

They say time heals all cuts, but some cuts go real deep, leaving scars that never quite go away. And I still find it hard to believe that a whole decade has passed.

You'd be so grown now, so full of life and curiosity, brimming with questions and dreams. I often wonder what you'd be like – would you have my stubbornness and determination, or your mother's grace and patience?

Maybe a beautiful blend of both, creating someone truly unique.

I’m going to visit your stone again later today. Leave this letter like every year. I suspect there’ll be fresh flowers, as always, probably from your mother.

She never forgets.

We never reconnected, not like I'd hoped for. But I think about her often.

I searched everywhere for her. I just really needed someone to share the pain with, someone to hold onto while everything fell apart. We tried talking, spilling out all our feelings, but the words wouldn't come out right. Maybe we were afraid of saying the wrong thing or making things worse.

Maybe we were both thinking the same thing – maybe if we'd done things differently, maybe you'd still be here.

After a while, the space between us just kept getting bigger, too big to cross. You see, your mom, she found a way to move on. She built a life for herself, a life where the pain was still there, but it didn't control her anymore.

I hope she's found peace and happiness, something she deserved more than anyone. She was an incredible woman, and I wish I had been the man she needed me to be.

I hope she reads these letters someday, that she understands how much I loved you both, how much I regret not being there when you needed me most.

Maybe one day, when the weight of these years starts to feel a little lighter, I can finally forgive myself.

Maybe then, I can find the strength to reach out to her, not to get back together, but to find some peace, a simple way to say thank you for the love we shared and sorry for the loss that tore us apart.

You know, life has changed quite a bit since I last wrote to you.

I'm with someone, have been for the past four years. She's patient, kind and knows about you. I don't think we'll ever have children though. She's got her own ghosts.

I retired from racing. Shortly after I won my eighth championship with Ferrari. It was a dream come true, but also bittersweet because I couldn't share it with you. I work as a consultant for the team now, just like Niki was for me at Mercedes. You’d have loved him.

It's a different kind of thrill, guiding the next generation of racers, helping them navigate the same challenges I once faced, but it drives me forward.

I’d like to believe you’d be proud of your old man for that.

I sometime wonder if you would have been drawn to racing too, or maybe you'd have found your passion in something entirely different. Whatever it might have been, I would have supported you every step of the way and with all my heart.

I think about the things you'd enjoy often; you know?! The hobbies and interests you'd develop.

Maybe you'd love music, like your mother. She had an incredible ear for it, always humming a tune or singing softly to herself. It’s what got us close in the first place so many years ago.

Perhaps you'd have a knack for building things, creating something out of nothing with your hands and imagination.

Either way, I hope you'd have found joy in the simple things, just like I try and do now.

There's so much I wish I could’ve shared with you. So many lessons I've learned the hard way and would to show you. Life isn't always easy, my little one. It's filled with ups and downs, triumphs and failures.

One of the most important things I wish I could’ve taught you is the value of love. Real love, the kind that fills your heart and soul, and is worth every bit of pain and sacrifice.

I had that with your mother, even if I didn't realize it at the time. She saw right through me, saw the man behind the driver, and loved me for who I was. I'd hope you'd find someone like that, someone who understands and loves you unconditionally.

It might hurt sometimes, but that's how you know it's real. Love isn't always easy, but it's the most beautiful thing.

I would want you to know that it's okay to make mistakes though. I made plenty, and each one taught me something valuable. The key is to learn from them, to grow and become a better person. But each moment, whether good or bad, shapes who you are.

I wish I could have been there to guide you through it all, to help you navigate the challenges and celebrate the victories. My motto has been “Still I Rise” for the longest time and if you wanted it could’ve been yours as well.

Life isn't about being perfect; it's about being true to yourself and striving to be the best version of you.

In the quieter moments I still dream about you, you know. In my dreams, you're a whirlwind of energy, your laughter filling the air. We go on adventures, explore the world together. I teach you what I know, and you teach me about everything else.

Those dreams are my sanctuary, a place where we can be together, even if just for a moment.

Sometimes, I catch myself talking to you out loud, as if you were right beside me. I tell you about my day, about the races, about the world. It might sound silly, but it brings me comfort. It's my way of keeping you close, of making sure you're never forgotten.

Even though we never got to meet, you are a part of me, and I carry you in my heart every day.

You are my greatest loss, but also my greatest gift. You've taught me more about love than anything else in this world.

Sometimes, under a sky full of stars, I imagine you up there with the constellations, looking down at me with curious eyes. And I need you to know that we love you still, deeply and unconditionally.

Ten years old. A whole person with your own personality, dreams, and wishes.

The world missed out on knowing you, and so did I.

But your memory, my precious child, it lives on. It lives on in the way I cherish every moment, every sunrise, every laugh shared with a friend. It lives on in the way I try to be a better person, kinder, someone who would have been a good dad to you.

This letter is my vow written down. A promise that even though you're not here, you'll never be forgotten.

Happy birthday, my sweet child. I hope, wherever you are, you're smiling, knowing that you are loved and cherished.

You are my light, my angel and a part of me. And though the path I walk may be lonely sometimes, I carry you and your mom with me in my heart, always.

With all the love that would have filled a lifetime.

Dad.

______________________________________________________________

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[femsolid]

i'm a het separatist and i don't understand most osa women at all when they talk about dating men. they constantly brag about the bare minimum standards their men meet ("hes nice and compliments meeee" & "he makes me orgasm sometimes and doesn't hit me") like do they realize how pathetic they sound? it's also insanity to see osa women realize how shitty men are, but they still sleep with them constantly one after the other. it is free entertainment though to see all this complaining

No I can't say I find it entertaining.

A woman once came over to me and my separatist friends bragging about having managed to persuade her husband of doing the dishes. Which took some effort on her part. But to her it was proof that she was the boss in the relationship and that her man was receptive to her feminist lectures. The next day she was even more excited when she told us that her husband had complained about her not preparing his meal for work (when all his colleagues' wives did so) and she responded that she would not do it. Again, to her it was a great feminist success. And divorcing him was out of the question because she was "educating" him, he was a work in progress, she had to believe this. None of us dared to tell her what she already knew. She was trying to convince herself, not us. And when she left, we didn't laugh or say it was "free entertainment". We were sad for her.

Mocking these women is in contradiction with separatism's goal in my opinion. Think about it. Why would a woman leave men only to join a group of women who laughed at her pain and said that her trying to make her life more bearable was "entertainment"? I understand you being irritated at the cognitive dissonance, but separatism isn't just about separating from men, it's about offering an alternative based on female solidarity. So that alternative can't have anything to do with mocking women for how they dealt with subjugation. I'm sure you've had your share of denial and misplaced affection before you decided to reject men. I don't expect separatists to spend our lives pleading with other women to join us, but we must leave the door open and create a home that is welcoming to all women. A great number of women come to this later than you and me. They come with shattered illusions and heartaches. Separatism is a political movement but it's also a healing place or it ought to be.

So if you've lost patience with domestically abused women then focus on building that alternative of freedom for the women who are already on that path. It's good for you and it's good for the women who might join you someday.

And if you struggle to understand why women bond with their oppressors so desperately and intimately I suggest you read the book Loving To Survive (though the title says it all really).

[darkhazard19]

For the ask the oc

Hello, Leta and Ria! Hope you two are doing great there 💖💖💖

Here's my question for the both of you, what are your thoughts on meeting Val and the others for the first time?

@shinmiyovvi AFTER WHAT FEELS LIKE YEARS IVE FINALLY ANSWERED THIS I’m so sorry it took this long Shin 😭😭 Hope you like it nonetheless 🥺💖💖💖 tried to add the southern flare for Zari!

“Ah, hey there Shin! It’s been awhile since we’ve last seen you.” Leta smiles softly, “I’m doing great by the way. Ria, come say hi!”

Ria waves a hand while she lights a cigarette with the other. “Mmh, yea, hi. We’re both peachy. Let’s hurry up and answer the question.”

Leta sighs with a roll of her eyes, “Don’t worry about her, that's just how she is. So, our thoughts when we first met Val and the others? Well, to be honest when I first saw Lena I was happy to know I wouldn't be the only woman in the crew. God knows what I’d do if I had to deal with all these boys and that testosterone on my own. But…..I also noticed something about her, like…..she lost someone or something dear to her. It made me feel sad cause I know what that pain feels like.”

Ria nods her head in agreement, “Licia reminded me of myself, a woman wronged by the world and protecting herself behind a guise of anger and coldness. It also felt nice to have somebody to possibly relate to.”

“Meeting Ji Eun was interesting I suppose. I could instantly tell upon seeing her that she wasn't one for bullshit and I respected that. But somethin’ told me we wouldn’t exactly be super close and boy was my instinct right. Not that we hate each other but don't you reckon you’d hate it if somebody was puttin down the effort you have for your work. I know she’s testing me but gee does it irk me. Sorry for rambling but I respect Ji Eun and I’m glad to be in her company. Bout you, Ria?”

Ria was unusually quiet as she took another huff of her cigarette, “......I felt heartbroken meeting Ji Eun for the first time…..It was clear as day what she had gone through ...what haunted her. It made me feel…..angry not at her but for her. Made me wanna protect her, poor gal doesn’t deserve any more pain or heartache.”

Leta looked at Ria in slight surprise but shifted into understanding, she decided not to dwell on it and went to move on.

“Hmm okay well, let's see we can talk bout Arthur next. One look at him and hearing him talk told me I’d constantly be having headaches around him. But I also knew I’d share some pretty good laughs.” Leta smiles softly, chuckling. “Nowadays he likes to tease and get on my nerves but it’s nothing a little sarcasm and wit can’t fix.”

“.....He’s like the father I wished I was blessed with. At first I was wary, and didn't really think much of him. Suppose it was the kindness he had and the fact that he actually seemed to care and listened to what I had to say that drew me in. Honestly, I think my heart knew that we’d be able to form a connection but my mind just wasn't ready for it at first.”

“Suppose we can't trade one for the other?”

“Hold your horses there, girlie!”

“Worth a shot wadnit (Wasn’t it)?”

Ria snorts, “Anyways, lastly there's Dragomir. Don't judge a book by its cover would be an understatement here, thought he was gonna be that type of man who likes to act all big and strong or even the silent and brooding type but boy was my gut instinct so off. Not that I’m complaining, it’s actually kinda heartwarming to see how sweet and kind Drago can be and don’t tell him I said this but he’s almost like a big teddy bear with how sweet he is. It’s also nice that he’s a great listener.”

“......It was hard to talk to him at first….sometimes it was hard to even look at him….Miro reminded me of my brother so much. It was nice to have someone like Red around but it was like a reminder that I would never get to see my brother again. Sometimes I like to think that Red sent Miro to me, lemme know that it’s okay, that he’d never be mad at me for moving on. Similar to Lena who I see as a sister, Miro quickly became like a brother to me and sometimes I feel guilty but then I remember Red always wanted me to be happy and I tell myself that he’d be happy to see I was able to form such a great bond with the others.”

Ria puts an arm around Leta’s shoulders and pulls her in for a side hug for comfort. “Hope that answers your question, kiddo. And have a nice day/night alright?”

[em-writes-stuff-sometimes]

As i told you i have some thoughts on Rhaenyra and Reader's relationship:

My opinion on their relationship is complicated, i think Rhaenyra's jealousy is pretty much given but i don't think babey Reader is going to be jealous of Rhaenyra she will be disappointed with her.

Rhaenyra is more strong, cunning and brave and babey Reader is more naive, more feminine and soft, Rhaenyra and Daemon both know that their relationship was doomed to fail because he needs softness and compliance ( both of which Rhaenyra is not going to give him) knowing that Rhaenyra is going to be jealous because she wants to be someone's entire world, she wants to be looked at like she is the most precious thing to her significant other, seeing her sister having everything she wants is going to make her jelly, and i personally think she is going to try and justify it with something like " she is young and doesn't know what she has"

And when Reader finds out about Rhaenyra's jealousy, she will be disappointed because " why is my sister not happy for me " i personally don't think babey Reader wants to be like her sister ( she knows that Rhae is like this because this is what everyone expects it from her not because she wants to be ) i think Reader is proud of her feminine ways ( because as we all know " behind every strong man stands a powerful woman") and i think this is the main difference between the two; Reader is happy to stand in the shadows, Rhaenyra is not.

So i feel like Reader's reaction is going to be more like " you have the love of our father and now you want my husband" but not in a jealous way ( if it makes sense) i think Reader is fine with not being her father's favorite but is disappointed Rhaenyra is jealous of her happiness with their uncle.

To be honest i can see how babey Reader is going to ace the Dance only with manipulation and womanly intrigues not with cruelty like Rhaenyra. This is what i mean by "Reader doesn't what to be like her sister" she knows their is a power in the shadows and she is going to use it to her advantage.

Btw i think Reader is going to be Daenerys great grandmother or something like this🤣🤣

Yours:

✨️ Wilma Dickfit ✨️

I can sorta see this, yeah - I think Rhaenyra is aware that it's dumb to have these kinds of feelings because it isn't as though her sister planned any of this, and it also isn't really as though she desires Daemon himself. He sexy, but he's also a fucking pain to deal with, and the Daemyra connection pre-Episode 7 is so fraught with tension and angst so I doubt that's an experience she'd want to constantly deal with every day. But that doesn't stop Rhaenyra from wishing that someone saw her as less of a royal figure and more as the woman she is (like, Harwin loves her, but I also think he has that reverential puppy love that Daario has for Daenerys - he sees a figure, not a person). For so long, Daemon was the person who seemed to see the value in Rhaenyra, not as Rhaenyra the Princess of Dragonstone. And now he's off with her little sister, lavishing her with all his attention and affection and downright crazy.

I remember being really struck by something Emma said in one of the interviews they did with Matt; that Rhaenyra is a person caught between contradictions, characterised at the time as being a woman expected to take up the role that only men traditionally occupy in Westerosi society. But I also feel like there's a conflict between the Rhaenyra who craves power and the Rhaenyra who craves belonging. She's been alone in so many respects for so long, and there are few who could hope to understand her position. Once, she thought she'd found that belonging with Daemon, only to realise that they weren't as compatible as it initially seemed. And if the one person in all the world who is most like her - shares so many of her experiences and understandings and temperament - isn't hers to belong with, then who is?

So Reader, both by virtue of being fairly isolated and by being the second-born with a lot less pressure on her, being so settled in her womanhood and accepting of the roles and duties that brings, incites these feelings that are adjacent to - if not quite - jealousy and resentment. Because ultimately, it isn't Reader that she's jealous or resentful of, but rather that Reader's the fulfilment of what she sometimes wishes she had the freedom to be. And her realisation that the power she desires comes at the cost of those kinds of choices, that kind of happiness, is a source of turmoil for her. I don't see her fully externalising that on her sister, but it's definitely something that has the potential to affect her behaviour at points moving forward.

And I honestly have NO idea how I'm planning to tackle the Dance yet; I may very well be writing little one-shots and filling in narrative gaps and branching out into other OCs until the next season comes out, so I have a landmark of character development upon which to draw my next moves. We know very broadly what happens, but I want to see some of the choices Matt and Emma make before I commit to a specific interpretation. I've given her the Cannibal, so she should probably get the opportunity to do something with that at some point... (How 'bout a heckin' sad conflict with Aemond, a la God's Eye???)

AAAAAAH. So many thoughts. Thank you for yours, Wilma!

[aucoba]

So I finished MoS last night and I liked it and here's my naive intake on each seasons :

Season 1

really good. Micheal doesn't exist there's just Bill, he is so repressed he's ace here. Each character is well painted, the power inequality between genders, Gini struggling to be a good mother (feed them, love them, not lose herself as a woman for them), Libby trying to get the life she knows she deserves, Betty looking like the one who doesn't have her life sorted out but who is (and will remain) the only one with actual control over herself. Women are the queens in here and men are following a script they can't read, I dig it.

And then Ethan who's a dick who grows a lil bit but remains a dick. And Barton's mariage? Beautiful. The tension, the pace, the relationships... And I adored the historical vibe of it. 9/10

Season 2

Has to be cut in two halves where at first I had no idea where we were but I enjoyed the ride. Then there was the sexual dysfonction that just served to show how emotionnally dysfonctional Bill was. Gini was growing, I loved her friendship, she was taking more control in her life

The question of violence, of deserving others or making them pay...

Obviously the ep The fight was the best one.

I guess the pace just felt a bit off, and I was taken aback by how they putted the dick problem over the emotional ones at some point but that was the characters being doofus. 8/10

Season 3

It started so well, this weird trouple where only Bill doesn't know he is in a trouple. Libby finding herself more and more, Gini and Bill sharing the intimacy of a house life... And then there was Dan

What the heck happened here with Gini, I still don't understand. I love seeing Bill becoming such a wreck, loosing each piece of self esteem, and how he got stuck in all this BS drama and lawsuits, going from one extreme to an other. Bullying people and begging them.

But I still don't buy Virginia giving up Bill only because her mom told her to go after him. It felt too extreme, she suddenly acted too cold, not enough struggling.

6,5/10

Season 4

It needed 2 more ep. That's not genius intake but I still feel like it's true. They had put new pieces in place and no one got enough time according to me.

The new couple, I would have love for them to have an actual confrontation, 'cause he just spooked her when she woke up, took his trophies and said "you wanted for me to find out", like yes, and?? That was too short, you had so much more to say my man. You deserved way more

Same with Virginia : her discovering she was actually in love with Bill, yes, yes yes, that's what we were going for since the beginning. But she got too cold in previous season. I needed her to warm up a lot more here. And to actually take accountability for their past. She did a little bit. Not enough to my taste.

Bill was finally on the healthy path and she just felt like poison. And it hurts for me to see my queen from s1 being depicted as this hungry unempathic work alcoholic, who's only goal is to show to everybody around her how she's better than them. Fucking the therapist she lied to? Going so hard after the new female doc? Promoting conversion therapy?? I'm okay with "evil path" but here I just felt like we had lost our Gini from s1 who wanted to protect her kids, to gain her place in the world without losing her sense of self... Who befriended the sick cold doctor and showed so much empathy to those in need. Bill and her just got together 'cause they had try for so long, not because it was the right thing for them now

This season they tried to explore the link between pain and pleasure, where punishment becomes a way to stand living. But it wasn't explored enough to my taste

... 6/10

[butch-reidentified]

Detrans female lurker here. I wanted to chime in with some thoughts on voice training. I think you’re correct that most ftms don’t really end up with a fully male-passing voice, but I unfortunately did and it used to be a huge insecurity and source of anxiety for me. The idea of training my voice sounded really intimidating at first, but I decided it was worth a try and I’m really glad I did. It took me a few months to get decent results, but now my trained voice sounds almost exactly like my pre-T voice, just a bit raspier. I see a lot of detrans women who feel they’re stuck with a voice they hate and I want to offer some reassurance that this isn’t the case—they can change it if they want to. Voice training can be a pain but it really does work, and it becomes automatic once you’ve been at it long enough.

Unrelated: thank you for being a voice of reason and nuance. Like you, I don’t regret my mastectomy, and when I first started orbiting radfem spaces I was very put off by all the “mutilated and ruined” talk. I find it deeply hypocritical, and I’m glad there are people speaking out against it.

Hi! So happy to meet you! I always felt pressured to hide that my surgery helped me, since it doesn't serve the common agenda of many radfems/gc folks, but one of my most core rules for myself is total honesty. I genuinely take great pride in approaching all things with nuance and caution (my nickname in a certain section of facebook back in the day was Queen of Nuance lmaoo). It makes me really happy to hear that it's noticed and makes a difference for others.

I think being vocal and honest about our positive experiences with surgery could also be a key step in helping to repair relations between radfems and trans folks, since there are many people in both groups (and some people who belong to both!) who aren't on the extreme end and see the potential benefit in building a bridge.

It also helps show genderists that I'm coming from a place of understanding, empathy, honesty, and genuineness, not hatred of trans/dysphoric/gnc people (I am dysphoric and gnc, and it could be argued I am trans in a medical but not ideological sense).

I also, VERY importantly, want this blog to be somewhere other radfems and others questioning gender ideology feel 100% safe to talk to me, ask questions, or express opinions that parts of radblr might react more harshly to. I don't think there's anything wrong with that - women are not required to be patient, educators, etc., and I certainly feel the need to scream and rant and lash out my fair share - but if we want to put the good of all women and girls first, and reach other women/girls and show them there is safety in sisterhood, some of us need to take that patient, nuanced role on sometimes. I find that people go from hateful to open pretty quick once they realize in one-on-one interaction that I'm not some trans-hating bogeyman, just a regular woman who understands dysphoria and wants everyone to be as healthy, happy, and free as possible.

Thanks for the voice training info btw! I definitely believe in the power of voice training. Despite some radfems claiming otherwise, when done right for a prolonged period of time, you can do most anything with vocal training, and it does become your "real voice." I think a lot of radfems who haven't known many MTFs irl think their voices are all fake and that if, say, they talk in their sleep, it would be in a regular deep man's voice. That's not true. Now, my experience is pretty limited to gender critical transsexuals rather than gendies, but I often discuss my mtf best friend on here, who's stayed over at me n my wife's house many times and is a hell of a sleep talker 🤣 At least in her case (and again, I use "she" bc my brain has only ever perceived her as female so it feels dishonest not to, not because she has asked me to or cares in the slightest), I can 100% confirm that the trained voice is permanent and never disappears - I mean it is like working out one muscle group a ton and letting another atrophy, so it makes sense. So it's not like voice training means talking in a fake voice for the rest of your life, which is what a lot of people seem to think.

I'm glad to hear you have no regrets about surgery and are happy as you are :) I'd love to chat more with you and hear your perspectives and opinions!

[mari--lace]

one line, any fic

tagged by @novasforce! Thank you 💙

tagging (no pressure!!): @ceterisparibus116 @tiny-increments @some-fiction @kawusia25 @appellatedefender @beguilewritesstuff @anchovy89freya @a-l-s-h-a @thedevilofthemeatpackingdistrict @artemisjpotter

rules: pick any 10 of your fics, scroll somewhere to the mid point, pick a line, and share it! Then tag 10 people.

Let's go down memory lane!

The memory of a talkative girl and an impulsive boy (03/07/2018)

«Let me go», you protest. You don’t want to go to a people-fixer or whatever it is; you want to stay alone. They singled you out again, despite you being japanese just like them… it’s unfair, you know it is.

Not leaving (13/12/2019)

Vincent looked at her, staggered. She’d just risked dying, or to be seriously hurt at the very least, yet she stood there smiling as if the best thing in the world had just happened to her! He didn’t understand her, she was always so absurd, so – so beautiful. He blushed hard, shooing away that treacherous thought. He didn’t answer, putting her on the sofa. “Stay there” he ordered, his rage fading way too fast.

Was it just me? (10/01/2020)

Whatever the reason, Artemis, you made a mistake.

Mistake – what a strange word, almost painful, especially for two of our kind: we don't make mistakes, can't afford to.

No touch (04/10/2021)

Maybe it’s because, in the few seconds the helmet rested on Callum’s head, he thought he could understand Nightmare – they weren’t that different after all. Or maybe it’s because he’s doubted Nova before and the only thing he remembers about that is she swearingit was real, between them, and the attention she puts into avoiding any touch makes those words real. Even if she didn’t do much –anything at all– to defend him from Queen Bee.

It means me (21/10/2021)

Luna finds Ginny’s last sentence a bit comical. What does it mean to find the right person? She doesn’t get it more than her friend gets how she feels. What she’salways felt, since when growing up her friends would rather talk about boys than play their childhood games. When Kim explained to her what asexuality means, Luna thought back to every time her dorm mates had fun filling in beauty rankings of Ravenclaw boys, Quidditch players, even the Triwizard Champions despite them being just three; they had tried to make her join a few times, than they just didn’t try anymore. Two of her classmates had once decided to fill in a ranking of the fairest girls, but it hadn’t made a difference to her. Luna simply didn’t get it.

Three names for one friend (29/08/2022)

Matt is the closest to family she’s ever had, but she can’t stay at the orphanage another day. She needs to go, join the Rising Tide, find her parents.

What am I looking at, Matt? (06/10/2022)

“I’m watching a clown walking barefooted in LA. A familiar clown.”

She's never gonna hide (23/10/2022)

“I don’t think that, Chlo.” That effectively shuts her up. It’s not the first time he calls herChlo, but there’s something in the familiarity of a nickname that makes her feel warm and out of her depth. Not in a bad way, it’s just… unexpected. “What do you know about the asexual spectrum?”

A marvelous october (chapter 31; 31/10/2022)

“I’m sorry,” the man said, and it felt so… true. Could she, maybe, trust him for real? Ammi always said to not trust strangers. Why did he wear a mask? Did he kill the other one? “We need to get you out of here, now. It’s dangerous here.” He approached the kid with the scratched knee and crouched next to him, whispering something Kamala didn’t hear. After a short while, she saw the kid nod. The man picked him up with one arm and stood up; the kid hugged his neck. Kamala watched that happen wide-eyed. Was this man really good?

What's in a soul? (21/11/2022)

Again, the woman isn’t lying, or her body doesn’t let out anything Matt could interpret that way. She really thinks she lost her soul, whatever that means.

[the-scungles-of-crungles]

Anyways I love women so much. We're stereotyped in the media and by misogynists like you for being catty, bitchy and mean to each other all the time, but most women I've interacted with have been friendlier, kinder and more genuinely interested in what I have to say than the average man. They've been more supportive when I had an abortion after being raped, while I was called a slut or simply not believed by men, and I've supported my female friends when they've been assaulted, abused or harassed, while my male "friends" constantly make porn and rape jokes. We understand that we need to support each other instead of tearing each other down if we want to get anywhere as a society and minimise suffering, while men view women's suffering and pain as another porn category to jerk off to. I've seen more women spreading awareness about men's mental health and the male suicide rate than I've seen men spreading awareness about any women's issues. Some of us do care about men's issues even if they will never extend the same empathy to us. But we do it anyway, you do it anyway, and while it can be frustrating because men hate us so much, I love our capacity for empathy.

I don't hate you for being this way, although I've tried. I actually feel sorry for you. Because it's really stupidly brave to voluntarily surround yourself with and try to help the demographic that is most likely to injure you. You are actually more safe with the average woman who hates your guts, than with a man that you know - and definitely than with a man who hates you. The average asshole woman who hates you could talk shit about you, roll her eyes, or just ignore you, but the average asshole man who hates you? You can finish that thought for yourself. I don't know where you grew up or what you experienced that made you have such a deep hatred for most of your own sex while worshipping men. I get it if you were bullied by girls at your school for your appearance, I really do. Or if you had an abusive mother. But if you had bad experiences with girls and women and therefore hate them, why can't you understand why so many women "hate" men?

Also, you don't need to speak up for men's issues because they apparently aren't talked about as much as women's. They're already whining about it whenever women dare to breathe a word about misogyny. Who are you doing this for, truly? When you see women sharing their thoughts on misogyny, what's your thought process when you decide to respond with a full-length novel in support of men who are aroused by videos of us being beaten and raped? You claim to not care that men aren't grateful for you and wouldn't help you, so if it's not for their genuine gratitude, is it just for surface-level attention? For sex? What is it?

Again, this is not coming from a place of hatred, but from a place of sympathy. I know what it's like to feel guilty for not catering to men's feelings, and feeling like we should still care for them while dealing with our own issues. But they're not going to reward you for it or treat you like you're special. When the tide turns, do you think they'll grant you a special place among them because you're a cool woman who isn't like those crazy hairy feminazis? You think they won't throw you to the wolves even though you love them? Women will be the ones to take you in and help you even though you hate us. I hope that one day you'll see the truth and realise that women aren't the enemy here. I hope that you eventually gain more empathy for women that have been trafficked, abused and raped, than for men who throw a hissy fit because a woman tweeted "men are trash." And the day you do grow up, get better and stop hating your own sex, we will welcome you with open arms.

I'm not reading that buddy

[namjooningelsewhere]

War Of The Hearts : #2

Pairing - OT7 x reader (DJ) and OT7 x Lily

Word Count - 5.6k

Ratings - 18+

Genre(s) - Mafia au, Angst , Fluff, mentions of smut.

Trigger Warnings - Mentions of Death, Mentions of Trauma , minor alcohol consumption, mentions of torture and shootouts and mentions of bloodshed.

Summary - You've been lurking in the shadows, protecting the seven of Bangtan even if it means you must give your own life. After all, that's what you do when you are in love with someone irrevocably. That pain seems to be minuscule in light of their safety. But it was never about you, for all you are is a speck of dust in the universe they have created for them and their girlfriend. Your heart's at war, but it's fine, you can smile through the pain as long as it means they smile- for her.

A/N : Thankyou @jayhopely and @akshstudios for betaing this fic for me and letting me yell about it. You guys made my life so much easier:)

Taglist : @bri-mal @2ne1unni @shatzkrinslinzki @zae007live

Part One Here

Earlier that day at Crecenzo : Bangtan House :

"Guys?" Lily called out to the boys who were all holed up in the study. She walked over to Namjoon who sat at the opposite end of the table and sat on his lap.

"Yes, darling? You need something?" Hobi asked, looking at her curiously. Lily played with her fingers unsure of how to start the conversation. "What's got you nervous, sweetie?" Taehyung tried to start a conversation. Lily took a deep breath, and mustering up all the courage in her, she cleared her throat.

"I need to speak to you guys." All the guys looked at her curiously, wondering what had gotten her nervous, because generally their woman didn't have a filter on her.

"I want to speak to you about someone, rather a certain someone I want to include someone in our relationship." She spoke up and Jimin stood up abruptly from his chair, making it stumble back and the rest of them looking equally scandalized.

"You what!?" Jin screeched, unable to keep his calm. "Are you trying to tell us that you want another man in this relationship?" He thundered and Lily looked him straight in the eye, making it clear she wouldn't be fazed by his amplified tone.

"Baby, where is this coming from? Do you like someone? Because if it is, I’ll have to decline it politely because we are good at sharing but within ourselves only, not with somebody outside us seven." Namjoon stated calmly, actually very eerily silent.

"Baby girl it's a no from me too, we aren't comfortable with another man in here. And I don't understand who the fuck is this bastard that has gotten your interest." Yoongi spoke up and Taehyung glared hard at Lily and it was enough to assume he was against it as well.

"First of all, a girl has gotten my attention. I haven't gone behind your back to see her, if that's what you're worried about. But I like her and I want to give it a try. I genuinely like her guys." Lily spat and the guys were absolutely dumb founded. A girl? They couldn't make head or tail of it, because they were sure in the last three and half years they'd known Lily, she never brought up any kind of interest in her gender. And now she actually wanted to include a girl in their relationship?

"A girl? Are you serious Noona? Since when are you into girls, huh?" Jungkook stuttered, equally baffled by his girlfriend’s words.

"Yes, she is a girl Kook, and I really like her. And besides, she can be included in our relationship because the said girl has been in love with you guys for a long, long time." Lily added and the boys choked on air.

"Oh my fucking god, this just gets more and more horrifying." Jimin walked to the window in the study, leaning on the window sill. "Baby girl, this is weird, like really weird. You want to bring someone into our relationship?" Yoongi added.

"Attention never has been a problem with us sweetheart, but that doesn't mean we go for everyone who loves us?' Namjoon massaged his temples, unsure for the first time in his life as to how to address this situation.

"Okay, first off, I don't understand what is the problem here? She is a perfect fit for us. She's hot, gorgeous, daring and basically a badass who's in the same line as you! And moreover she loves you guys, and has been since a very, very long time. I love you guys, seriously, I do but I just want to give this a try! This is a new thing for me too. Why don't you guys fucking understand?" Lily snapped and the room fell silent. It was like they were seeing a new side to her.

"Who is this woman that has gotten you so entranced, huh baby girl? And she's in our line of work? Because as far as I know there aren't many women out here." Jin was slowly losing his patience over this and Lily was hell bent on defending every argument they made.

"You know her. DJ." Lily murmured but it was loud enough for the seven men to hear it. "What the actual hell? DJ? Like the DJ who saved you yesterday? Lee's kid DJ?" Jimin stuttered and she nodded.

"Wow! I don't know what to say." Jungkook and Taehyung mumbled in shock at the same time. Lily stood her ground firmly and the boys were close to defeat.

"Can't you guys oblige this for me? It will make me happy, it's not like I'm asking you guys to get married to her. Just give this a shot please. For me!" Lily added and the others sighed in defeat.

"When you put it this way, what are we supposed to say Lily?" Hobi said, admitting defeat as the guys stared him down. He shrugged his shoulders and leaned back in his chair. He was the weakest one when it came to Lily.

"Namjoon, what do you say about this?” Yoongi asked Namjoon and he sighed in irritation. At times like this he hated picking sides. If we would oblige Lily, the guys would get upset and if he would stand by the guys, his love would be upset.

"Let's give this a try guys" He looked at Lily who was beaming from ear to ear but the guys definitely looked sour. "But... we aren't sure about this baby, we will give this a try. But if this doesn't work out, we can't promise anything." Lily nodded her head excitedly and she hugged him.

Maybe for the first time in three years, Namjoon didn't hug Lily back.

"Thank you, my loves, I'm going to tell DJ about this. See ya later!" She kissed everyone's cheek before skipping out of the room, radiating joy.

For the boys, her sudden interest in DJ didn't make sense, but to her, it already was more than enough. She would personally make sure each one of them fell in love with her. This was her last chance and nothing was going to come in her way, not the boys and not DJ either.

--------

"Please don't tell me we are going through with this bullshit." Jungkook shouted and everyone glared at him. This wasn't their fault and they were as helpless as him.

"She's stubborn and we can't ruin something we have for an issue like this. Let's think about how we can refuse Lily’s demand in some other way." Namjoon said calmly as he spinned the paper weight on his desk.

"What if DJ refuses Lily?" Yoongi suddenly spoke up and the rest looked at him in confusion.

"We can speak to DJ, I am sure she can take our no for an answer. If she says no to Lily then this chapter ends here. Lily will wallow but we can manage that." Yoongi finishes and the guys finally smile for the first time. This could definitely be a way out.

"But why will she say no? If she has been in love with us for so long, isn't this her golden chance?" Taehyung added and everybody paused.

"Lets convince her guys, I'm sure she's not so selfish to force someone to love her." Namjoon got up with confidence oozing from him and everybody nodded.

This could definitely be a way out. Lily was theirs and they were Lily's. There was no space for another person in their relationship and they would make sure of it.

If only they knew their girlfriend would stop at nothing to make this happen.

----

Present - At Florenzo : Your Penthouse

"Is this some kind of a sick joke?" You snapped once your breathing calmed down.

This was definitely a joke, there was no way a woman would share her lover's with another person knowing they were in love with them basically all their life.

"Why would I do something like that?" Lily asks and you shrug your shoulders. How the hell were you supposed to know?

"I don't know, can you tell me? Because I for one can't figure it out." You almost yelled. Lily got up from her seat and sat in front of you on the coffee table. She took your hands in her lap and rubbed her thumb over your knuckles calmly.

"Why is it so hard to believe me?" Lily asked, her thumb still making soothing circles on your hand. You sighed, your face screaming ‘I don't know’.

"I really want you to join us DJ and I'm not kidding. You can be with the ones you love, and we can all be happy together. I am not telling you to get married to them but this can definitely be a fresh start. I know you love them and it's clear in your eyes when you see them. Let's give this a try, pleaaaase." She pleaded and you looked at her in even more confusion. This woman was crazy. No, not crazy, she had absolutely lost it.

You got up from your seat and tried to walk away but Lily caught your hand. "Please be selfish for once, don't think about me, think about yourself. You're getting a chance to have that love story you’ve been dreaming about with the seven of them. Think about you. What do you want?" You sat in your chair and Lily didn't let go of your hand. You stopped struggling, as it didn't look like it was of much use anyway.

"What if it doesn't work out?" Lily smiled. "Then you will have closure. You can move on knowing it wasn't meant to be."

Lily gave your cheeks a quick kiss and hugged you. "Promise me you will think about it?" You nodded her head, because she didn't look like she took a no for an answer. She kissed you again and skipped out of your house. She was crazy. Who would be this crazy to include someone in their relationship?

--------

As Lily moved out, she had a smile on her face. She had somewhat gotten into DJ's head and now all she had to do was gaslight DJ and the boys some more and then BOOM! Even before they knew it, she would have them right where she wanted.

-------

You landed a harsh thrust to the punching bag, hard enough to have it swinging violently from side to side. You kept raining punches on it to lessen the frustration inside of you. If only it could help. You struck it with your fist several times again until one of your subordinates came and cleared his throat and announced the arrival. You glared at him and he fumbled nervously. "Who the fuck is that?" You barked and he jumped a foot.

"It's---- " before he could finish, The seven men came barreling in the room, and you groaned in frustration. How much is too much for a day? You weren't for the life of you prepared to face them.

"How could you, Noona?" Jungkook spoke up first, but the word Noona caught your attention. Since when did you become Noona for him? Weren't you DJ-ssi just yesterday?

"Absolutely DJ, how could you manipulate our girlfriend into bringing you into our relationship? That's not right!" Namjoon spat and you froze on your spot. You did what?

"Very, very cunning on your part, DJ but we're here to tell you we aren't falling for it." Jin chipped in and at this point you wanted to tear your hair out in frustration.

"She did what?" Jeh barrelled into the room curiously and you face palmed. He was exactly what you needed. He definitely isn't going to pass up the opportunity to announce your everlasting love for them.

"She convinced Lily to let her in our relationship." Taehyung and Jimin spoke up and Jeh started laughing. Actually rolling on the floor, laughing.

"She did what?" Jeh asked in between his laughs and the boys were trying to make sure he hadn’t lost it.

“She manipulated Lily into letting her in this relationship." Hobi said, massaging his temples.

Jeh started laughing again, and this time he started howling in laughter clutching his stomach. You banged your hand on the table hard and everybody flinched. Jeh's laughter died down considerably and you breathed a sigh of relief. Fucking hell.

"Jeh you--” But he cut you off. "You've got the wrong person buddy. She would never do that." Jeh added and Hobi scoffed to which Jeh raised his eyebrows questioningly. "We've been fighting over her confessing to you guys since your break up with Soomin." You choked on air and Jeh smirked. The bastard had clearly been waiting for this day! He had gotten you trapped. Now all of Bangtan would know how deep your affections ran for them.

"Soomin was five years ago," Taehyung gasped, horrified at the revelation. "You've had a thing for us for the past five years, Noona?" Jungkook squeaked, shocked and you wanted the tiles to swallow you whole. This was horrifying.

"Uh uh, she has had a thing for you since she was eighteen." Jeh corrected and they collectively gasped. Sharp breaths were taken and you turned red. Was there any way you could disappear from the face of earth?

"Still doesn't explain why she would ask Lily to include her in our relationship." This was where you had enough. Why were you being blamed when you didn't even do anything? It was their girlfriend who came to you in the first place.

"I did not. Infact, she came to me. She asked me to join your relationship. It wasn't me." You finally mustered the courage to speak up. You weren't one to stand there and take the blame softly. Even if some day you decided to, your best friend wouldn't for sure let you.

"Lily came to you?" Jeh asked and you nodded your head.

His face lit up and he exclaimed, "Is that why she wouldn't let go of your hand that day when Jimin-ssi here was hugging the shit out of her after the meeting?" You turned red again. You definitely didn't need a reminder of that event again.

"I did-” Jimin couldn't complete the sentence, "Oh my fucking god! She likes you DJ! Fuck she likes you!" Jeh screeched and Yoongi scowled hard, and that my friend was when your inner lover decided she had had enough and she needed to make an appearance. She giggled. Loudly.

Yoongi looked at you and turned different shades of red, and Jeh chose that moment to blabber- again.

"She thinks you're the hottest thing in the world when you scowl, makes you look deadly gorgeous." Jeh added, smirking at you. Yoongi could have burst with embarrassment right that moment looking at you in the moment. You touched the gun on the table, throwing a glare atJeh. He needed to shut up.

But Jeh burst out laughing again! The guy can't take a hint to save his life!

"Then how did she know about your feelings?" Namjoon asked and as per today's weird turn of events, Jeh spoke up. But nothing could have prepared you for this.

"Oh, that is a very very funny story Namjoon-ssi." Jeh started and suddenly the men's ears perked up. "And we definitely want to know the story." Jungkook rubbed his hands while smiling. This brat. Was he actually enjoying your suffering?

"So, remember Minhyu's party? So my bestie here was basking in the visuals of the Bangtan men in black, when Yoongi-ssi decided to scowl at Jimin-ssi, Taehyung-ssi and Jungkook-ssi's antics and considering DJ's weak spot for Yoongi-ssi scowls and Jimins smile when his eyes disappear and Taehyung and Jungkooks killer teasing smiles- mind you, her words not mine- she flew into a trance."

"A trance?" Jin asked, and Jeh continued. "A trance in DJ's dictionary means when the entire world around her zooms out and she can literally see nothing but Bangtans out-of-the-world gorgeous men, again her words, not mine. Your woman decided at that exact moment to approach DJ and asked, ‘they are beautiful aren't they?’”

“And DJ tranced, answered, ‘yes they are’. And she tried to coax DJ into talking to you guys and my beautifully stupid bestfriend lost control of her mouth. She said, ‘they already have someone who reigns their hearts and I am happy to watch them being happy’ and I think that was the moment when your woman knew!" Jeh finished his speech and the seven most intimidating men were furiously blushing. And you?

"What's going on here?" A different voice called out, and all heads turned to the source of the voice. There she was! The absolute root of all the problems.

"What are you doing here?" She asked all her boyfriends, earning a scowl from them. "Exactly our question." Yoongi almost scowled, but looked like he stopped himself. Great, now he would always remember your fascinations with his scowls! Fuck.

"I'm here to meet my potential future girlfriend." She stated shamelessly and your eyes were about to pop out of your head and the boys mouth opened wide in an ‘o’ shape. Future girlfriend?

"Potential future girlfriend?" All nine of you, including Jeh, gasped together. Lily just smiled and you moved to her side. She immediately linked her arms to yours and you sighed. One thing you were definitely sure about Lily, she was a big fan of skin-ship.

"Please tell your men I did not manipulate you into bringing me into this relationship. They're seconds away from busting my ass." She only laughed in reply.

"What? No! That was all me." She exclaimed, making the guys stare at her in confusion. "You're making this such a big deal.” She stands in the middle between the guys and you and points a hand at the guys.

"Why would you refuse this girl? I mean look at her, she's hot, she's pretty and she's a total badass. I bet she will get men on their knees with just those eyes. And more importantly, she loves you." The boys looked at her bewildered.

Jeh snickered, "DJ she's got it bad for you." And Lily smirked.

She pointed at you, "And you! You look at them like fucking stars and now when you can be a part of that galaxy you're refusing?"

You were speechless. Absolutely speechless. Jeh hugged you close, and you leaned into his shoulder. That's what Jeh was to you- if everything in this world went wrong, he would still be here and make it right.

"Come on guys, give this a try. You literally have someone who's loved you no matter what and since long. And you, DJ, have your chance with them." She tried to reason again and the boys looked tired of it.

"You guys should give it a try, you know? You never know if something beautiful comes out of it." Jeh said, looking at the boys.

"And you babe, all my life I've heard you talking about how Namjoon is the best leader that anyone could have and not to mention how eternally beautiful he is. Or how Jin is the prettiest and the most caring or how Yoongi looks stone-faced but is hiding a soft heart behind that exterior of his or how Hobi's smile can light up an entire room or how Jimin's affections can cure the worst days or how Taehyung's voice can soothe the pain out of you or how Jungkooks smile can brighten up your sky! If anything, if it doesn't work out then you can move on baby! You can leave Bangtan behind and finally welcome a new chance at love." Jehs speech left you in tears and he pulled you in for a hug. When had he noticed all of that?

"See? She sees the best in you, all of you, behind all the blood shed." The boys gaped at you as you leaned on Jeh for support. The more you heard from him, the more vulnerable you became.These feelings were never spoken out aloud, and to speak about it in front of the boys was overwhelming.

"Okay." Namjoon spoke up finally, after what seemed like a long time and this time the boys nodded their heads in agreement. "But are you sure Lily? You're totally okay with sharing your boyfriends with someone else?" Namjoon added and Lily walked upto you and pulled you from Jehs hold and kissed your cheek.

"Absolutely sure." She smiled and Namjoon turned to you. "What about you?" He asked and the world suddenly spun around a different axis. Was this really happening?

"Okay." You murmured and Namjoon nodded. Lily flew in Namjoons arms, showering him and the others with ‘thank yous’ and kisses.

"Finally! Fucking finally!'' Jeh hugged you and you didn't know if you could smile.

A lot of thoughts ran through your mind, yet you cracked a small smile.

"How are you this whipped for my bestie?" Jeh asked Lily and she laughed. "I thought I made it clear I liked her since the party. After all, she is everything anyone could ever ask for." She blushed and Jeh nodded in satisfaction.

"That she is." You cleared your throat. "I'm still here, you know." And Jungkook's reply literally pushed the air out of your lungs. "Weren't you always here Noona?" He just smiled and your insides were already doing a happy dance.

You were in love, fucking hopelessly in love with these seven men. And there was nothing you could do about it!

----------

"You have some explaining to do." You pointed a finger at Jeh who only raised his hands in defence.

"This was your only chance, and I wasn't going to let you ruin it dude. If anything, consider it as a revenge for my eight years having to sit through your endless rants about the Bangtan boys." He laughed and you wanted to bang your head on the wall.

"If you will excuse me, I have to get our Red consignment delivered and make sure Baek-Hyun doesn't fuck it up." Jeh said, collecting his things and taking the gun with him. You nodded and got up too, giving him a hug and going towards your safe.

The safe where your special guns were held.

You loaded the gun while the targets were being set at the practice area. You had specifically gotten this place done for days like this. Firing made you put things in perspective.

There were a lot of things going on in your mind right now- one being what if they only agreed because Lily wanted it and they couldn't say no?

Fire!

What if the mere thought of you made them uncomfortable?

Fire!

What if they end up hating your guts?

Fire!

What if they thought you were some sick person who jumped at the first thought of being with them?

Fire!

Practically shooting down the entire practice range down, you came to a conclusion.

You weren't going to be a burden to them. You would just be behind the scenes and not make an effort and would give them space to let the relationship wither away on its own.

The last thing you wanted was for them to feel uncomfortable. They were your loves, and you would always be happy watching them being happy. So what if their girlfriend seemed fixated on you? You would give it enough time to wither away and then they could happily go back to Lily, back to their perfect little world, their perfect universe. Without you…

---------

At Crecenzo : Bangtan House

The boys gathered in Namjoons study, everybody had a complex expression on their faces. Their lives were simple, of course after keeping aside the business of being one of the most ruthless mafia and a few other complications, it was relatively simple.

This new information, their girlfriends fixation on you and your feelings. Damn those feelings! How the fuck had they not noticed all this while? You had had innumerable encounters with the boys, you had trained with them, and you took after your father's position in the circle after his death, and all the other minuscule events. You were an acquaintance, but you had never given them any kind of hint.

The Bangtan boys were not only famous for the ruthless and stubborn ways they handled their business, but they were known Seoul-wide for being inhumanly gorgeous. They had ladies falling at their feet left, right and center. All it would take was a look from them to get a lady swooning and by their side in no time.

They were flirts, big time flirts. But everything settled when Lily came into their lives and for the first time, they wanted more. They wanted a life with her. They wanted all their days to be filled with waking by her side and sleeping in her arms. The business that they were into had no guarantee over the span of their lives but whatever happened, they wanted it by her side. They would literally die happy in her arms.

But then there was you. you who had never once flirted with them. Not that they wouldn't have flirted back, they would. You were pretty and dangerous and your blood ran as wild as theirs. DJ wasn't just a female mafia leader, but she was someone they respected too. You were stubborn and you definitely commanded respect wherever you went. They were in awe of the way you held your father's position in the circle and the way you went on to build a big network for arms, not only in Seoul but internationally as well. DJ was a terror.

"Tell me I'm not the only one weirded out by all that happened today?" Jimin tried to break the deafening silence in the room. "How the fuck did we not notice she was into us?" Jin spoke up and Yoongi gave him a ‘really dude?’ look.

"When has she ever flirted with us? She has always been respectful." Yoongi scowled but immediately turned red remembering your term of endearment for his scowl. Suddenly out of the blue, for the first time in a long time, he blushed. Like fucking blushed.

"What do we do now?" The others looked equally confused. They had salvaged the situation back then, but now there was an addition to their relationship and they weren't sure why they actually agreed to this weird request, maybe it was Lily? But it confused them to no end now, knowing your feelings.

"How old is Noona?" Jungkook suddenly asked and everyone's head snapped to him.

"Since when is she a Noona to you, Kook?" Hoseok asked and Jungkook smiled sheepishly. "Since yesterday after she saved Lily." Everyone sighed.

"You know, in all of this, there is one thing that makes me admire Noona." Namjoon's eyebrows raise in suspicion at Jungkook's statement and he continues. "If she had any ill intentions, she would have allowed Lily to die yesterday and we wouldn't have known. She could have eliminated her, I'm not saying she could have won us but the fact that she saved her and brought her back safely to us, that's admirable ".

Everyone fell in deep thought after Jungkook's confession. That was a possibility. Gears started turning in Namjoons head- you could have definitely done that, you had an option. But you didn't. Did that mean you were someone to be trusted, or did it mean your love for them was too strong to scheme behind their backs.

"I am happy to watch them being happy." Were you really that selfless? There was only one way to find out.

-------------

You practically stayed up the entire night again running over a million scenarios and conclusions until your mind and body gave out. And by the time they both decided to give up, the sun had already come up in shades of orange and you finally drifted off to sleep.

A place where you could get rid of this situation.

The noises of someone walking, woke you up from your slumber, and there was this only person who would walk into your bedroom to kick you off from your bed- Jeh.

You groaned as the steps got louder, not today. You were going to sleep the entire day and drown your problems and questions.

"Jeh, if you are here to wake me up, leave please. I haven't slept all night and I would like to be asleep now. Wake me up after 10 years. Go away." You yelled and the scurrying of the feet stopped. Good, he got your message.

You sighed comfortable under the mountain of blankets, well hidden from the light, people and your surroundings.

"Ten years is a long time to be asleep, DJ." A different voice greeted your senses and you froze. This wasn't Jeh, this was...

"Namjoon." You screeched, throwing the blankets off your head. Jeh was standing beside him and smiling. "What are you doing here?" You squeaked, voice still raspy from sleep.

"I swear it wasn't my idea, it was his! He literally dragged me here." He glared at Jeh who was laughing, throwing his head back. "Thought it would be funny to show him the grumpy little sloth who needs to fucking pushed out of the bed every morning." He snickered and you lost it.

This man! If he wouldn't have been your best friend, you would have already booked his one way ticket to hell! If there was anybody who was over the moon with this thing that you had going on, it was Jeh! Man, this guy was literally radiating joy. If only you knew how to be happy with this new situation. As convenient and favorable this situation was for you, at the same time it wasn't out of their wish, it was an obligation.

"I'll wait for you downstairs." Namjoon awkwardly excused himself and you threw the pillow near you straight at Jeh's thick head. Doubt it would even knock some sense into him, but you had to try.

"What the heck?" Jeh said, throwing the pillow right back at you. And you glared at him. "Why would you bring him in here?" He looked behind him and immediately had a shit eating grin. You were already regretting the words that were going to leave his mouth.

"Who? Your boyfriend?" He smirked as you held your head in your hands. Boyfriend? ‘Boyfriend, my ass!’ you wanted to scream, but you had a visitor who also happened to be the reason for you to scream.

Namjoon looked as awkward as you, he couldn't for some reason look straight in your eye and you had the exact same problem. How are two people who are put in an awkward position supposed to deal with this.

Namjoon and others were in this situation because they loved their woman too much to refuse,(as if she was going to let them, that woman had these seven wrapped around her nail, forget a finger or a pinky!!!!!!)

You freshen up in record time. You for one didn't want to face Namjoon with a bed head and morning breath. You quickly threw your hair in a messy bun and brushed your teeth. Spitting the last remnants of the mouthwash you sighed deeply looking at yourself in the mirror. Way to start a day!

You walk down the stairs to find Namjoon awkwardly looking around the house. You cleared your throat to announce your arrival and he straightened up.

"I'm sorry about Jeh, He seems to be getting a kick out of this." You explained taking a seat across him, while your staff served him his coffee and placed yours in front of you.

"Umm yeah actually… Nevermind about that. I was here to talk to you." Namjoon fiddles with the cup and you glance at him curiously. What in hell was this now?

"Sure, tell me." You look at him with anticipation and he clears his throat, leaning forward and looking straight at you. Suddenly you feel like a bird caged under his gaze. That calculative gaze which you guess should be coming out when he makes decisions as the leader of Bangtan.

"So, it's weird how we are in this situation right now, but I want a few answers." He speaks up and you prepare yourself for the impending interrogation. How naive of you to think you wouldn't have to face his questions.

"Why did you never tell us?" You put the cup down and looked him straight in the eye. "Would me telling you have made a difference?" He paused for a moment to think and you smiled. "That's what I thought!"

"And besides you were always there with someone or the other, so I never bothered." You can see a flash of guilt or maybe it was sadness but whatever it was, it went as soon as it came.

"What do you expect from us?" Damn those questions. What were you playing? 21 questions?

"Nothing." Your firm tone took him by surprise.

"Nothing?" He asked, amused.

"Absolutely, this isn't something you wanted, this is something Lily wants and you're doing it because you don't want to hurt her, and well for me I don't know if I'm being selfish or foolish. But what I thought was I'll just let this relationship wither away, that way I can go back to the old me and you can happily go back to Lily." Namjoon looks shell shocked for a second as soon as you finish the little speech.

"What will you get from this?" He tried to hide the question in his cough but you had heard every word clearly.

"What am I getting from this now?" He choked on air again and a part of you was glad of having the effect on the intimidating Kim Namjoon.

"I don't know what to say honestly." He hesitates, the only gesture of the said emotion being his consistent tapping of fingers on the cushion of the couch.

"I understand. You don't have to say anything." You respond.

[roamwithahungryheart]

I am utterly disgusted at AH supporters who try to say that she couldn't have really abused him because she is a woman and she is younger than him. That shit triggers me to no end, because I am a man and I was abused for over 5 years by a woman who was younger and physically smaller than me. These people do not understand how us, men, feel when a girl attacks us. My ex would punch me, kick me, scratch me, throw heavy things at me, and I would just sit there stunned, because I knew if I hit her back, then I'd been seen as the monster. But I couldn't stop her, cause she would get rabid when she was angry, so I just had to take it. She would beat me up and then laugh about my bruises a few hours later after she'd calm down, saying "Wow, I didn't even knew I could do that much damage!" as if she was proud or impressed of herself. I stayed because I loved her and because she made me believe it wasn't that bad and it was my fault for pissing her off. My entire family knew and treated it as a joke, no one ever encouraged me to leave. They just helped normalise it. It took her putting a knife to my throat and actually making me fear for my life to make me get out of that relationship.

Men who are abused by women are mocked, our abuse is diminished and never taken seriously, and we are manipulated to believe it's not even happening, cause 'she is just a small girl, what can she do to you'. Women can be strong, women can be vicious and women can be abusers. And men don't have some sort of inbuilt shild that makes us unable to feel pain when we are beaten and attacked. I can't believe people still don't understand this!

Justice for Johnny is justice for all of us. I pray to God he wins.

Oh Anon, I'm so glad you managed to get out of that relationship. Reading this actually made me a little emotional as it made me think of the long, difficult journey my family & I had to go on to get my brother out of his relationship.

It truly baffles me that people are so reluctant to even entertain the idea that men can be abused by women. That women have the physical strength and the determination to do that to a man. I'll go to my grave holding a grudge against the woman that abused my brother. That's why it's so important to acknowledge that it does happen, it does carry just as much weight as the case of a female victim. Abuse has no gender, and all victims deserve justice.

If I could give you a hug, I would. Thank you for being brave enough to share this 💖 x

[hallelujahmeatgod]

"Do you want to talk about it?"

KEN "DRAKEN" RYUGUJI X READER

+word count: 1580

+warning/s: cursing

+genre: kinda fluff, kinda comedic

"He's in his room and he haven't left that damn room since he arrived"

"He didn't even spare a glance around like he'd usually do, he just went straight to his room. He'd usually help around first before disappearing in there"

You nodded in understanding, looking around the brothel which just opened a few minutes ago.

The people at the brothel called you out of concern for Draken, saying he's been moody and not his usual self. They asked you if you know as to why he's acting the way he is but you haven't got a clue yourself. Quite frankly, you haven't seen Draken yourself for a few days since you've been taking care of family matters.

They asked you to come by since you haven't been in the brothel for quite a while, also to talk to Draken since none of them wanted to deal with him.

"I honestly don't have a clue, but I'll try talking to him. I tried asking Mikey about it but that kid isn’t any help either" You replied, giving them a soft smile for reassurance.

You asked Mikey about Draken before you went to the brothel but that kid just gave you a petty answer, so you're convinced that they're not the bestest of friends right now.

"Honestly, what would we do without you? Anyway, go and talk to his moody ass cause he's getting a little annoying for our liking. Then when you guys are done come out here and let's catch up and eat the snacks you bought!"

You nodded and made your way to his room. Thankfully he didn't lock his door so you were able to just enter. You were expecting to see him splayed on his bed or be working out but he's nowhere to be seen.

"Ken" You called out softly. No reply.

You set your school bag on the ground and walked further into his room. Just when you're about to walk past the bathroom you hear water gently splashing a bit inside.

You slowly opened the door and there he was in the tub, head resting back on the tub facing the ceiling, with his eyes closed. You can tell he's not relaxed at all because of the tensed muscles on his arm and his furrowed brows.

"That tub looks relaxing yet there you are still looking like you're about to fight someone" You said to get his attention. You leaned on the door frame as his eyes shot open.

"Y-Y/n" He said, looking a bit surprised, sitting up straight from the tub.

"Ken" You gave him a small smile.

"What are you doing here?"

"Am I not allowed here anymore?" You asked not too seriously.

"You are. You always are. It's just that you seem busy these days" He looked down at the water.

"I'm sorry for not being around, Ken" You gave him an apologetic look.

He shook his head lightly, still looking down at the water. "No need, I understand"

You stayed silent and just observed him. How he's looking intensely at the water, that you swear he could probably boil that water right now just by staring at it. How he's muscles are still nowhere near relaxed. How his breathing isn't steady. How his brows are still furrowed. And how his lips pout a little bit.

You pushed yourself from the door frame, walked up to him and crouched down beside the tub so that you're eye level with him.

"Ken, what's troubling you?" You asked, putting your hand on his nape and caressing it.

He slowly looked at you, looking vulnerable. A sight no one often gets to see, even you. It honestly pains you a little to see such a look from such a strong, stern man who's always got his composure.

He sighs, leaned over the tub and drops his head on your shoulder. "I-I... I'm just not that okay nowadays. I don’t even know anymore.” He admitted.

You hummed in understanding, caressing his nape all the way to his hair, pulling his hair tie to let his hair loose. You ran your hand through his hair, untangling some knots, and for the first time since you saw him he relaxed. You saw his shoulders drop slowly as he let out a breath.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"There's just so many things bugging my mind. Life here in the brothel, the gang, and other things. It's just one of those phases wherein everything dawns upon you" He sighs, lifting his head just to hide it on the crook of your neck.

"I texted Mikey before going here and he just gave me a petty reply. That also bothering you?" You asked, massaging water on his head to hopefully help him cool down.

"Yeah, we ended up arguing cause he’s not in a good mood and so am I. It's all just chaos in my head right now really" He groans, lifting his arms from the tub and wrapping them around you. You're a little soaked now but you didn't mind, all that matters is him.

He hugged you tighter and tighter until you guys were literally flushed against each other, soaking you more.

"I'm sorry, it's just that I badly wanted to just go to you, to seek refuge in you and just to lay and hold you like this, to calm my mind. But I knew you were dealing with family stuff and that it means a lot to you, so I just bottled it all in."

"It's okay" You pulled away just enough to see his face. You held his face in your hand and caressed his cheeks. "I'm sorry I wasn't around. But now I'm here, you don't have to go through such tough times on your own. It’s okay to feel sad sometimes, just take your time, I’ll wait for you'' You smiled, making him smile. You kissed the corner of his mouth making him roll his eyes. He pulled you on a proper kiss, sighing against your lips.

"Thank you" He said when you pulled away. "Thank you for always being by my side and showing me affection even though I tend to suck at it and sharing my feelings. Just how would I repay you"

"Repay me by relaxing properly, dropping the attitude towards other people, and reconciling with Mikey" He groaned at the last part which made you chuckle.

"What? You'd be doing the gang a favor if you take the initiative, Ken. We all know Mikey wouldn't dare do it, and the longer you guys aren't besties the more agonizing it'll be for the rest of the gang. Imagine the captain and the vice captain being petty, ugh, I already feel bad for all of them" You said humorously, making him pull away completely and sit back on the tub as he pouts.

"I'm always doing it." He pouted even more.

You chuckled, ruffling his hair. "You know Mikey can be an extreme kid when he's not beating up someone."

"Why do I always have to be the bigger person?" He said under his breath.

"I mean you are 6'1 and Mikey's only 5'3"

"You're lame" He immediately countered before laughing lightly, making you laugh too. If being lame means you'll get to hear this giant laugh, well maybe being lame isn’t too bad.

"IS THAT THE GIANT'S LAUGH THAT I HEAR?!" You heard someone say from the outside. Suddenly the door burst open revealing Remi.

Draken rolled his eyes, flipping her off and she flipped him off too.

"Now that the giant doesn't seem like an asshole anymore Y/n let's go and catch up!" She grinned, pulling you up and out of the bathroom, not giving you time to reply.

"Hey! You can't just take her away!" Draken protested, standing up from the tub quickly wrapping his towel around his waist.

He grabbed your wrist and pulled you, restricting Remi from pulling you away. He and Remi immediately looked at each other with daggers as they kept on pulling you. At this point they could definitely cut your body in half.

"Well I already am, what are you gonna do about it?" Remi spat.

"Umm….Pull her away from you? You midget" Draken spat back but more calmly, which is honestly annoying. It's always the most annoying when people talk back in a calm manner...or is that just me?

"At least I'm not as moody as you. You act way worse than a woman on her period or a pregnant lady!"

They went back and forth with you still in between them. For every comeback they kept on pulling you.

"OKAY! Kindly shut the fuck up you two?" You smiled sarcastically at both of them, pulling your arms from them. They both pouted and huffed like little kids, turning away from each other.

"I'll go with Remi now since it has been a while since I saw them." You said, making Remi light up and Draken give you an offended look.

"WHAT--" Draken was about to protest but Remi burst into laughter pulling you to the door. You shrugged at Draken as he gave you a narrowed look and mouthed "traitor"

"Oh-- and when you're done, change the bulb in the lounge room, jerk!" She stuck her tongue out.

"Seriously, when will I ever catch a break-- you know what? Just get out you two!" He groaned, making you and Remi laugh.

[reidscanehand]

prompt number 10 with aaron hotchner for #rch3kpromptmondays please!

Pretty Damn Close

RCH 3K Celebration

Prompt: 10. “I know you’re not a fan of Valentine’s day…I just thought that maybe I could change your mind…”

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x BAUfem!Reader

TW: cursing, mentions of bad relationships, alcohol consumed by adults

Word Count: 1072

Thank you so much for this request! I hope you like it! xx

No one on the team liked to work holidays. Most of the time they had national holidays off and, of course, were it necessary, team members could get religious exemptions for holidays. Cases came up and disturbed those days from time to time, but it somehow seemed to suck more when cases fell on holidays like Valentine's Day. Even though the team didn't have the day off of work, there was something really awful about solving a serial murder case on what was meant to be a day of love and celebration. Even solving a case in the morning and flying home directly after didn't seem to abate the feelings of discontent.

Which is likely why Derek is so annoyed with you for not being more bummed about missing out on Valentine's Day.

"Come on, Y/N," Derek whines for what has to be the third time since this conversation began, "admit it, you're pissed we had to work today, too."

"We always would've had to work, Derek," you remind him cheekily.

"Yeah, Valentine's Day isn't a day off" Spencer backs you up.

"Not now, Pretty Boy," Derek replies, "I'll tease you about this in a minute. I'm just trying to understand why Little Miss Perfect over here doesn't like a holiday all about love."

"First of all," you say, finally fully looking at Derek, "since when am I Little Miss Perfect?"

"Yeah," Rossi laughs from his seat across the aisle, "I haven't heard that one before."

"And secondly," you continue, "haven't you ever been in a shitty relationship, Derek? They kind of ruin your outlook on things like Valentine's Day."

"I've had my fair share of bad relationships, sweet pea," Derek laughs, at which Emily and JJ exchange glances and burst into laughter. "But look at me, I still love Valentine's Day."

You roll your eyes, "Well, lucky for you, then."

"In what way?"

"You haven't had relationships awful enough to put you off of it for good," you scoff derisively. "And you didn't answer my first question."

At that Derek unexpectedly wiggles his eyebrows, leaning forward conspiratorially, "That's because our Unit Chief" - his eyes dart to the front of the jet where Hotch sits, typing up his report, completely unaware of the conversation - "apparently drunkenly described you as the perfect agent. And the perfect woman."

You feel like your eyes are popping out of your head, "He what?"

"Shhh," Rossi scolds the both of you, "dammit, Morgan, I never should've told you that."

"Wait - multiple people know about this?" you ask, practically whisper screaming at this point.

"Oh, we all know about this, honey," Emily chuckles quietly.

"I don't understand why you're upset," JJ says suddenly.

"Yeah," Spencer agrees. "You have a crush on him, right?"

You stare at Spencer so hard he looks pained, "What the fuck are you talking ab-"

"Don't try to pretend, Little Miss Perfect," Derek cuts you off. "You lovebirds have a team of profilers surrounding you. Best of luck keeping secrets, babe."

"Leave her alone," Rossi reprimands them all quietly. "This is a lot to take in. Especially on Valentine's Day."

The rest of the trip home continues in relative quiet. Smaller conversations and small card games dribble off into most people napping. You, however, are far too flabbergasted to let your mind rest.

Aaron Hotchner. SSA Hotchner. Hotch - the man you've had a crush on since God knows when - drunkenly described you as the perfect woman. What the fuck are you supposed to do with that?

Eventually, you get up, crossing to the kitchenette area to make yourself a cup of tea. You pass Hotch, practically running (as best as you can in a tiny jet) to get past him quickly. It's dim and somehow quieter in the kitchenette. You fix yourself a cup of tea, only for footsteps to approach you from behind.

"Y/N," Hotch whispers from behind you. You turn around to face him, not expecting how soft and sweet his expression looks.

"Hotch," you whisper in response.

He moves his weight between his feet, hands in his pockets, looking down before looking back up at you, "So, um, I don't...I don't ever want to be dishonest with you."

"O-okay," you reply, not sure what to do with that.

"But, um, I...I heard the conversation earlier."

You feel your eyebrows skyrocketing, can feel the terror entering your spine, rolling through you. Though all you manage to reply with is, "Oh."

"I...I'm so sorry," he rasps. It's at that moment that you realize...Hotch, your stoic, intense unit chief is blushing.

"Hotch-"

"Look, you don't have to say anything, I just...Dave invited me over and I drank too much and I said some...things that I shouldn't have."

The sound your mug makes as you place it on the counter is far louder than it should be. The steadying breath you take after it is also pretty loud. But you step forward into Hotch's space, tentatively placing your hands on his chest.

"Did you...mean what you said?" you ask quietly, eyes not quite meeting his, even as you feel his piercing gaze staring down at you.

"Every word," he replies. "I think you're...I think you're perfect."

"No one's perfect," you tease.

A gentle finger hooks itself under your chin, pushing you to look up at him, "You're pretty damn close."

You gaze into his eyes for a moment, then he glances down at your lips.

"Can I...could I kiss you, Y/N?" he asks softly. "Only...I know you're not a fan of Valentine's Day...I just thought that maybe I could change your mind."

You don't even try to fight your smile as you nod and Hotch presses his lips to yours. It's miraculous, really, the ability of this man to turn this day around for you in a matter of moments. The two of you kiss for a bit, all grins and shy touches and glances, making it all the more shocking when the pilot's voice comes over the speakers, announcing landing in an hour.

Without a care in the world, Hotch tugs you by the hand back to his seat, sitting you next to him even as the team wakes up around you all. If they're glancing your way, you barely notice, too wrapped up in the absolutely perfect man next to you.

And if not perfect, then pretty damn close.

~~~

Link to My Main Master List

Link to RCH 3K Celebration

[charliedawn]

What is their reaction when they find out that they may have grown attached to you ?

You know how Jason can be very insecure and self-conscious ? Well. Prepare for a whole new level. He will check himself in the mirror when you're not looking, and if he doesn't like what he is seeing ? He will smash the mirror and go in a corner to sit and move back and forth, to give himself some reassurance. He still remembers what his mother used to tell him.

" Persons are a nuisance, Jason. You don't need them to survive."

But then, why does he feel like he needs you ? He feels conflicted as to what to believe.

Super jumpy ! He will jump almost every time you touch him or lose his grip of the things he is holding, often ending broken and splattered on the floor. He would be as clumsy as Jason and would want you to spend more time with him. However, he would also be scared of you breaking his heart.

" I..I c..care.."

Like many of your patients, Brahms has trouble finding his words. At first, many thought he was mute, like Jason or Michael. This is why hearing him speak to you always means it is important.

" I..I care.."

He wants to say many things, how he cherishes every moment you spend together, how you make his heart race everytime you are near him or how he wants you to be by his side forever..But, he can't. He can just hope that what he feels can be expressed through eye contact. You may not understand what he wants to say, but you still try to understand. You put your hand on his and reply with a compassionate smile.

" I care about you too. You are a very good friend, Brahms.."

Did you just indirectly friendzone him ? Possibly..You walk out and Brahms sighs before sitting on his bed while hugging his doll to comfort him.

" You turn me on."

He will be absolutely frank about it. He will just step up and tell you in front of anyone. He doesn't give a damn if the others hear him as well. Also, creep alert, will watch you sleep. He will sneak in your bedroom in the middle of the night and just look at you sleep. He wants to touch you so bad, but he knows that that would wake you up. And he doesn't want that. He will just admire you from afar, even pretend that you may like him back. He would just want to get close to you, to look at you and wonder what you may be dreaming about..hoping that you are dreaming of him.

" Oh my sweet..You look so perfect when you sleep.."

Now..You know how Five is very serious about his relationship with Dolores ? Well, you better be prepared by lots of imaginary fights between the two of them, and even a break-up ! *gasp* Drama. He would be in a very bad mood and would scream and attack everyone that approaches his personal space. He would also smash everything in his room. Like, everything. So much that the other nurses would be too scared of him and ask you to handle it.

" Hey. Are you okay, Five ? Did something happen ?"

He would snort and look up at you with visible frustration.

" You happened. Dolores and I broke up. Not that she was one to share her feelings anyway."

You frown in incomprehension before asking with a small airy laugh.

" I don't understand, what does that have to do with me ?"

Your question seems to trigger a nerve and he suddenly stands up to look at you dead in the eye with anger and, somehow, pain..

" Everything ! You're too nice ! Too forgiving ! Too perfect ! You wiped our past as if it was nothing, goddammit ! We're serial killers, Y/N! We're monsters and you treat us as if we were..as if we were.."

He doesn't get to finish that sentence as he seems on the verge of tears. He jumps on his bed to sit and hide his face behind his knees. You seem to finally understand the problem and sigh before sitting next to Five.

" It's okay to have feelings, Five. You can't hide them forever. I'm sorry if it upsets you but, I don't think you're all that bad. Sure, you kill and even eat people. But, I've seen you change. You are a lot less violent and a few more months ? And I'm sure you'll be out of here in no time."

He looks up at you again with a sort of desperation, very uncharacteristic of Five, before finally asking in a tearful voice.

" What if..What if I don't want to go back ? Out there, I'm just a freak. But, here ? I got.."

He doesn't finish his sentence, but you guess what he is going to say and smile understandingly.

"..Friends ?"

He doesn't answer, he only suddenly hugs you tightly and hides his face in your skirt. You hesitate before slowly petting the top of his head affectionately. The gesture seems to relax him, but he quickly straightens up and wipes his tears away. He then stands up and apologizes.

" I..I'm sorry, it was highly inappropriate of me. I'll..I'll let you work."

Before you could say anything, he runs out of the room and leaves you confused and worried.

Lots of uncontrollable laughter. More than usual. He is very nervous when you're around him and sometimes cries while laughing, showing that he is deeply ashamed of his condition. He is very bipolar and will sometimes act very casually around you, only to break into tears when you leave the room. He will stare at you and turn his gaze away as soon as you would notice.

" Well, would you look at that ? Sir Sh*tty the clown seems to have a little crush on the nice nurse.."

Pennywise would tease him about it while Penny cackles behind him. Arthur glares at them both before either ignoring them or leaving the room.

No. Nope. Certainly not. He will try to hide from you. He knows very well what he is feeling, and also what happens to the people he feels this way towards. He just managed to get rid of his curse, he is not about to risk getting on a murder rampage again ! Every time he would see you, he would pretend to be busy or hide. One time, he even jumped out the window to get away from you. It is very odd since Michael is normally the most chill and calm out of all the patients. But one look at you ? And he becomes a panicking mess. He has to get away. He doesn't want to hurt you like he hurt everyone else close to him, like he hurt his family..

" Me ? Having feelings ? Ah !"

One word: denial. He doesn't want to hear about things like feelings. He saved you ? Bah. It was only because he was bored. He will deny everything, but still follow you and pop up out of nowhere to see what you're doing. He enjoys talking to you, even if he doesn't want to admit it.

" Pennywise..You're staring again."

Penny would gently warn him as his big brother would pretend to not have done such a thing.

" Can't an old clown appreciate to look at nice things sometimes ?"

Penny frowns, not understanding his big brother's words until Freddy intervenes by popping next to him with a huge grin.

" Let it go, kid. Your big bro is just too much of a chicken to go talk to her.."

Pennywise growls in annoyance at Freddy before raising his middle finger at him.

" F*ck off Freddy ! At least I don't watch her sleep like a total perv !"

That would result in a fight that you would have to break. Again..

" Pennywise..I think I'm sick.."

Pennywise would admit some day to Pennywise that would sigh in annoyance.

" Stop saying stupid sh*t. You know very well that we can't be sick."

But, upon seeing the devastated face of his brother, Pennywise sighs loudly before turning towards him to focus his whole attention on him.

" Fiiinnneee...Tell me."

Penny's mood seems to lit up as his brother seems to be willing to listen to him.

" OK, so it concerns the nurse, Y/N. Everytime they are near me, I feel things in my stomach, like a million kids were kicking me in there..Everytime they touch me, I feel as if a part of me in my chest is about to burst and I feel warm, very very warm. And then, I feel very very bad when they talk to anyone else..It's horrible. I want it to stop..Should I eat them ?"

Pennywise stays silent for a while before saying with an unusual straight face.

" Penny.."

He starts, but Penny starts panicking as he sees the sour look on his brother's face.

" Oh ! It's bad, isn't it ?! What is it ?! How long do I have ?!"

Pennywise rolls his eyes dramatically at his brother's exaggerated reaction before cutting him off in his worried questions.

" Shut up, you idiot ! You're not dying. You're just feeling.."things" for them."

Penny stops talking and frowns in confusion, his eyes diverging in deep concentration, as if trying to understand Pennywise's words.

" Things ?! What things ?!"

He finally asks with his eyes wide open in obvious loss and Pennywise face-palms himself before answering with a loud sigh.

" You're falling in love, you dumb f*ck !"

At the word, Penny's face freezes and his smile goes downwards as he realizes that his older brother is right.

" Oh, sh*t.."

He curses and Pennywise frowns, as Penny hates curses.

" Language ! I'm the only one allowed to use curses, remember ?!"

Penny nods before asking in a worried tone.

" How do I get rid of it ? I don't like it.."

Pennywise can't help but feel sorry for Penny, as he knew better than anyone that there was no turning back..

" I'm sorry kid. But if it's really love ? You can't..like I can't.."

Penny's eyes widen at his brother's confession.

" You..You..love her too ?"

Pennywise seems to realize what he just said and groans before walking away. He didn't want anyone to know, even though Penny is his brother. Penny understands the wish of his brother to be left alone and starts walking out in the garden to think over what his older brother said..Could it be ? Could he really be falling in love ?

Bonus : The deal

The Horde is blindfolded and dragged to another room where a man and a woman are waiting for them. At first look, he can already tell that this man is one of the unworthy. The unbroken. The weak..His interest is cut short and he then turns towards the woman sitting next to him. Now, this one was interesting..Her eyes betrayed a much deeper complexity and she had a scar running from her forehead to her left cheek that proved she was worthy.

" You..You are broken. Rejoice.."

The woman smiles, but before she could start talking, her partner does it for her.

" Mister Wendell Crumb, we have a mission for you."

But Kevin only grits his teeths at the man.

" You are impure..I want to kill you.."

The man arks an eyebrow, but ignores his threat.

" Fine. Whatever. But first, I want you to be my spy. We didn't get you out of this prison for nothing, mister Wendell Crumb. We want you to be our little spy in the facility. We want you to find out how a certain miss L/N managed to control the patients outside of the facility. Do that, and you'll be as free as a bird..Do we have a deal ?"

He frowns, they wanted him to spy on a nurse ? She must be quite special for them to go to such lengths, to use him as a spy..Yes, quite the unique prey. The Beast was already impatient and Kevin licks his lips before nodding.

" Fine, but on one condition. When you're finished with her, I get to eat her heart.."

The request seems to take the man aback, but it is the lady that Kevin is looking at. She smiles coldly before nodding in agreement.

" Deal."

Kevin finally smiles widely and can't help the excited giggle that gets out from deep within him. Then, the dark and low voice of the beast makes itself heard as the smile grows almost ferocious as he announces. .

" Let the hunt begin.."

[lubdubsworld]

Better Man.

              ~~~~We might still be in love, if you were a better man. ~~~~

Taehyung x OC 

Rating 18 +

Angst. 

Implied Infidelity in the past. 

Chapter 1 ~ Walk out the first time. 

"Are you okay?" My mother's soft voice came from behind me and i panicked, hurriedly swiping at the tears that were streaking down my face. Heart pounding, I grabbed a bunch of tissues from the dresser, patting my face down hurriedly , making sure to keep my back to her. 

"I'm fine, Mom." I said , voice surprisingly steady as I turned around to smile weakly at her. She stood near the doorway, a petite woman of fifty with greying hair and too many wrinkles. 

I thought she looked older than she was and i knew I had a part to play in that. Sighing, I tried not to cry more, moving to gently take my son out of her arms. 

He was four years old, fast asleep and smiling sweetly in his slumber. He had downy black hair, feather soft and warm brown eyes. He looked incredibly like his father, the resemblance stunning even though he was so young. I stared at him some more, laying him down on the bed and brushing the hair off his face. 

"Are you sure there is no mistake? Taehyung ssi wouldn't hurt us like this..." My mother said, sounding broken and I felt a pang of sympathy. But also annoyance. 

Us. 

Us....like she had an equal share in the hurt I was feeling.

 I was the one getting a  divorce but my mother made it sound like it was personal to her as well. Like somehow, the fact that she now had to meet her friends and tell them that her daughter was divorced could compare to the pain I was feeling. To the sheer anguish that was filling me.

To be fair though, my mother had loved Taehyung very much. Her favorite son-in-law . My sister's husband had been a mean drunkard who had brought a lot of misery to our family. Taehyung by contrast had been a loving, filial son in law. He had cared deeply for my parents, paid for my father's funeral ( even though the man itself was nothing more than a drunk , cheating fool who had abandoned us )  and he had been the most kind man . 

I swallowed. 

Maybe , you should have forgiven him. Maybe , you shouldn't have divorced him . So, he slept with another woman. Fine.  It was one night... just one night. you should have gotten over it! Was it worth it to spend all these countless nights alone? To break your mother's heart a thousand times over? 

 The funny thing was, i had forgiven him. Maybe right after I had found out. He had stood there, looking shell-shocked and horrified and his eyes had begged me for forgiveness and my heart had cracked , the way it always did whenever I saw him in distress. And when he had looked me in the eye and said, "  I’m sorry,  Jang mi..." I had forgiven him right then and there.

 But it was the forgetting that was hard. The fear that it would happen again. The fear that somehow, I was the reason he strayed. And that kind of fear can be debilitating. For the first three weeks, I'd tried to pretend it hadn't happened. I had tried hard to see him the way I had always seen him but it had been impossible. everytime I saw him, my heart had broken anew. It had been hard but I had to accept that things would never be the same. That I would forever look at him and remember what he’d done. That I would forever wonder if he would do it again. 

So we had done the wise thing. 

At first a break.

 A few days apart to get our head on straight.  Then I’d found a job and I had to move closer to the office to make the commute easy. And then suddenly, I wasn’t seeing him even during the weekends , to spend time as family for our son’s sake. And just like that , a whole year had passed and we  were separated. Only meeting to hand Hoshi over to each other. 

"I'm sorry mother." I said softly. I knew that she blamed me, a whole lot for the separation. 

People with children  didn't leave each other over infidelity in my country. You hit your husband, denied him from your bed maybe but you didn't break up a family over one night of bad decisions. You just didn't .

But for me, it was beyond the act. It was the broken trust, the shock of knowing that some other woman had given him something I couldn't, the fact that he had even wanted it from another woman had been enough for me to crumble on the inside.  

But, none of it mattered now. 

He wanted a divorce. Officially. Wanted to end it for real. 

It was jarring, how badly it shook me. I felt unaccountably lost and confused and disoriented. I couldn't imagine not being Taehyung’s wife , i realized with a stunning sense of self realization.

 Call me irrational, but apparently, I couldn't stop thinking of him as my husband , even after two years. Soon he wouldn't be my husband. 

He would be  my ex -husband. 

i hated that word. 

It had such a plethora of negative connotations to it. When you hear it , you just brace yourself for unpleasantness.

 Because it is unpleasant. A marriage ending, a family breaking, feelings hurt , hearts shattered,  angry words tossed...its all a very unpleasant experience for everyone involved. 

An ex husband was seldom a harbinger of happiness, more often a reminder of choices gone wrong, regrets and wasted time. and I didn’t want to associate Taehyung with a word like that.

Taehyung who was still the kindest, warmest human being I knew. The best father in the world. 

I felt like someone had sucked all the strength out of me.

I didn’t really want to think about the call I’d gotten from Taehyung last night. An appointment with a divorce lawyer.  It had been followed by an apology because apparently, someone in the law firm had let the info leak. And now it was all over the sleazy tabloids that fed on people’s misery. 

It was impossible to escape it too, Taehyung was famous. An idol. And actor. The country's sweetheart. And he was the epitome of perfection. The beautiful, talented actor with an impeccable record of well behavior. 

I knew that literally everyone on the planet thought he was a literal angel. 

 I remembered how much , by contrast, I had been hated when I'd married him.

I could just imagine how much more it would all be this time around. And i wondered if it bothered Taehyung too. Did he perhaps wish he’d never met me

? 

It had been sheer luck that we had met.... 

In fact, if Jimin's  car hadn't broken down right outside our home on that cold December night, I wouldn't have even met Taehyung. A great cosmic shift, somewhere some butterfly flapped its wing a certain way and suddenly, Jimin’s car ran over a thumbtack and his phone was dead so while he tried to fix the damage , Taehyung  just had to knock on our home and I had been the one to open it. 

Boom. That was it. Love at first sight. 

 I had been a high school kid and he had been barely nineteen. Fresh faced and cheerful , the struggling idol from a small company. He hadn't been surrounded by fans or chased by saesangs. He hadn't had security tailing him. No daesangs, BBMAs, or acting awards. No blockbuster movies to his credit , no chart-bursting songs either . 

And I had fallen in love with that version of him. 

The hardworking, talented young man who worked twice as hard as anyone around him. 

 That's right. You've loved him for fifteen years.  So it's understandable that you're upset. Now, maybe you can move on too. Go on a few of those blind dates that Jiyoung is always setting you up on. Go live your life instead of being a zombie. Get a hair cut. Dye your hair red. Do something to get your life in order. 

"I still find it hard to believe that he would want a divorce. Jangmi yah... did you tell him you forgave him? Tell him you wanted to try again..." My mother said again and the distress in her voice was equal parts heartbreaking and exasperating. 

"Mother, I don't want to try again . We aren't married anymore. It's over, whatever it was between us. " 

 Whatever it was. 

How cruel, to have all that love, all that affection  reduced to a phrase like that. 

What a pity. 

"But what about Hoshi? He needs his father..." My mother cried out and I willed myself not to snap. She means well, I thought miserably. 

"He has a father. Taehyung is an excellent father and you know that. Don’t start that again.” 

My mother sighed.

"I still feel that this wouldn’t happen if you tried a little bit. He’s a good boy. Such a good boy and you could never do anyone better. Why are you so full of pride, Jangmi... so prideful...you should be a little humble. Think of the kind of man he is...where would you find a man like that ? And moreover .... Taehyung loves you. i know he does." My mother said stubbornly. 

I sighed, feeling my fingers shake from the effort not to scream. I wasn’t strong enough to have this conversation with her. Not now. Possibly never. Taehyung did  love me. Had never made any effort to hide it. But sometimes, love wasn’t enough. It just wasn’t. 

And I wanted to yell at my mother she was at least partially to blame for me walking out on Taehyung. 

My father had left us for another woman , when I was twelve. I had seen the toll it had taken on my mother and I just knew that I would never let a man do that to me. My mother had later confided in me that it wasn’t the first time. He had done it before. A lot of times. And my mother had always forgiven him. Let him back into our lives. 

And one night, drunk on soju she had confided between hiccups, ‘ I wish I’d walked out the first time.” 

And that had stuck with me. 

Walk out the first time. 

If he cheats on you , walk out the first time. Don’t stick around waiting for him to do it to you again. Walk out the first time. 

 And so I had. 

“ Should I talk to him? Tell him you’ve changed your mind? “ My mother began and I felt my patience snap.

“No!! Could you just, for the love of God, stay out of this, ma? It’s over. Our marriage is over and it has been over for a long time. A piece of paper doesn’t really change that, does it? Its not my fault you can’t get over it but that’s a you problem. And you need to fix it yourself.  “ I shouted. 

My mother immediately recoiled, eyes shuttering down. 

“Of course. You know the best. Who cares how anyone else feels, right, Jang Mi? You always know best.” She said softly, and I exhaled, shaken. There it was. The guilt trip. It was never ending. 

Please... I just need to go now.” I moved to grab my bag, :” I need to go get ready for the meeting with the lawyers tomorrow. You can keep Hoshi with you tonight.  I’ll come pick him up after I’m done and then I’ll drop him off at his father’s place.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With Taehyung and I, our break up hadn’t been terrible. 

It hadn’t been terrible because our own penchant for being terrible had always been very minimal. We didn’t do swearing or fights or threats and it always annoyed our friends that we got along so well. That it was so easy for us to forgive and move on with each other . That we were the one couple who didn’t hold grudges or bring up past mistakes. 

Which is why, when we did break up, none of our friends had tried to change our minds over it. They had accepted it rather calmly, shocked at first because it was so out of the blue but not opposed to the idea itself . They just trusted us to know the right thing to do because we were easily the most mature , the most level headed couple in the entire group. We were usually the sounding boards , the voice of reason in whatever petty conflict our friends were involved in . 

So when it was us, needling a little advice, a little guidance, our friends had been woefully ill equipped to help. They had merely hummed and nodded and empathized. Maybe that was another reason I’d left. I hadn’t considered the alternative. No one had asked me to consider the alternative. 

Our friends had watched us drift apart watched us break up, but they hadn’t really asked us  why.  

Because if something had caused Kim Taehyung and Jang Mi to break up, man, that must’ve been a really huge issue. 

So the break up had been amicable. Gradual and slow but mostly amicable, eased by our mutual love for our son. We wanted him happy and he was happy when we were happy. So we put on a front, laughed and joked in front of him and let him have some semblance of normalcy in his life. 

It wasn’t easy. 

From him,  it had been nothing but a mess of   heated glances, touches laced with intent and eyes begging forgiveness . every gaze of his was a silent scream for a second chance that I was not at all ready to give. 

Because for me, the raw hurt and anger and frustration that bubbled up every time I saw him , it had nowhere to go. It stayed churning in my gut, made everything bitter and unpalatable and I wanted to hurt him for hurting me. How could I think of a second chance when the hurt from the first, was still so fresh, an open wound festering. 

Self esteem in tatters, I had hated him fiercely. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The meeting was at his company, and I arrived at nine in the morning, with a few more minutes to spare.  I knew the place like the back of my hand, was here at least  once a week either to pick or drop Hoshi off and I knew that the conference room in the third floor was sound proof and cut off from the rest of the building for extra privacy. 

Which was a little too late because I’d found two tabloid newspapers waiting outside my apartment this morning. 

I opened the door carefully, surprised to see Taehyung sitting in one of the chairs, bent over a sheaf of paper on the table and next to him a leggy girl in a small skirt hovered, fingers resting lightly on his shoulder, bent at the optimum angle to show him her curves. 

I sighed, looking away.

It was way too early for this. 

“Mia!” Taehyung’s voice made me look up, and I watched as he stood up, pushing the chair away and moving to me . He was easily the most good looking man in the country. And he looked so good at thirty five that it was impossible to look away from him. 

He was dressed in a pale blue shirt and black slacks and it never amazed me, how good clothes fit him. 

I took in the broad shoulders, thick arms and the lean waist, the carefully styled hair and the breathtakingly beautiful face and sighed when he kept coming closer, hands held out. . 

Of course, the customary hug. 

i let him wrap his arms around me, my face buried in the comforting warmth of his body, the scent of his cologne filling my brain . He always smelled so good it made my heart hurt. I tried not to let myself get carried away. Tried to remind myself that this wasn’t anything more than a.....

A facade ? Or was it? Was his affection genuine? 

Was I just too cynical?

I shook my head, pulling away and smiling a little at the genuine venom in the leggy girl’s face. 

“Are you okay? Where’s Hoshi?” Taehyung brushed the hair off my face, eyes warm and I wondered if he’d forgotten we were here to get a divorce.

 Whenever we met, Taehyung acted like we were still together. 

No, that wasn’t it. 

He just didn’t act like we had broken up. He was affectionate and open and cooperative. It always left me in a sort of limbo, unable to navigate our relationship with clear boundaries. There were no line to stop myself from crossing, because he just didn’t draw them. 

“ Ms. Lee says we just have to go over the details like the alimony and the custody and the division of assets and then we can just proceed. Get it all finalized.  “ He said casually, when I moved away and sat on the chair opposite him. 

“Okay .” I said casually. 

He smiled and turned back to the girl next to him.

“I’ll join you after the meeting Lisa.” he gave her a nice wide smile and the girl practically bloomed under the attention before bowing curtly in my direction. I watched her walk away, slightly amused.

“Bit younger than your usual type.” I commented , glancing at him. He gave me a look.

“I’m not dating her.” He shrugged. 

“Does she know that?” I retorted.

 It was dumb. Uncalled for. I was being a bitch, really but the urge to evoke some kind of reaction from Taehyung was something I’d never really out grown. I liked getting under his skin.

Taehyung sighed and gave me a little smirk.

“Are you jealous, Mia mine?” He teased. 

It felt a little like someone had dug a nine inch dagger straight  into my heart. 

That stupid nickname. 

God I couldn’t bear it. 

Swallowing i looked away. 

“Sorry. “ he said quietly, a few seconds later. 

I nodded curtly. 

“Don’t do it again.” I said hoarsely. 

“Why not?” He whispered gently. 

I groaned. 

“Taehyung... “

“it’s just a name...why does it bother you so much?” He whispered. 

“The same reason you’re asking me for a divorce.” I said softly.

He blinked.

“Mia...”

“Because we both know its time to stop.” I said quietly. “ Stop dancing around each other , stop doing...whatever it is we’ve been doing these past two years and give our relationship a name. “ 

“I’m not very fond of labels.” He shrugged. I glared at him. 

“Well tough luck. Labels are good. Labels are great. They let you draw boundaries. “ I retorted. 

“You sound like you’ve had enough of me.”

“Well, haven’t you had enough of me?” I snapped.

“Not even close.” He leaned forward gently, eyes pinning me to the table with a gaze so strong he may as well have used his body. And it didn’t help that two years wasn’t enough time to forget how it would feel if he  had  used his body. How it would feel to be stretched out on that table, him on top of me, hands working my clothes open, lips kissing their way down my jaw. 

I could almost taste him, taste the minty freshness of his breath, feel his tongue in my mouth, the hardness of him inside me. My thighs clenched because I hadn’t gotten laid in two fucking years and even if i did, no one would ever compare to the man in front of me. 

“Mr. Kim? Mrs. Kim? “ 

The lawyer’s voice broke the spell and i straightened, swallowing. Ms. Lee had walked in , and I watched her close the conference door behind her before locking it gently. 

She was young, dressed in a business suit , a no nonsense bun and had small round framed glasses. She gave me a nice smile, shook hands with us both and placed her briefcase on the table before glancing between us. 

“Shall we begin?” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note : its gonna be a bumpy ride. 

[jeonggukkiepabo]

CRYSTAL SNOW ❄ MYG

SUMMARY: Christmas has always been a stressful time for Yoongi: buying presents, decorating the tree, baking cookies, you name it-Yoongi does it. It wouldn't be so difficult if Yoongi had someone to help him, but all he has left in his life is his beautiful daughter Ara.But maybe this year, he won't be all alone.

GENRE: christmas fluff  ❄ a bit of smut

WORD COUNT: 7,3k

WARNINGS: f l u f f, single parent yoongi, kindergarten teacher y/n, oral, satoori, domestic christmas vibes :(, mentions of death

AUTHOR’S NOTE: the secret collab is finally here! thanks @kimtaehyunq​ for letting me join💞 i’m so excited to read the other fics as well! & thank you Mags for doing this amazing banner I think this is the prettiest banner I've ever had. 🤧 Tysm love💞

MERRY CHRISTMAS

People usually say she looks a lot like her father, but all Yoongi sees in Ara is his wife. Wherever his daughter goes, his wife's ghost follows, the memory of his teenage love and the wonderful years they spent together until she left their lives.

Min Dasom died almost one year after Ara was born, her death coming too sudden for anyone to bid their last goodbyes-leaving her husband and baby heartbroken and alone.

It was awful, Yoongi won't be able to forget that one night the police called him, telling him that his precious wife drowned in the ocean during her monthly trip to the beach with her friends. 

Ever since that call, Yoongi has never stepped near a beach again, never felt hot sand between his toes again, never went swimming again.

It was hard, being a single parent and Yoongi was tempted to give up many times, but seeing Ara grow and bloom into the beautiful girl she is now, Yoongi is beyond thankful that he survived the pain and sorrow.  

He never drowned his thoughts in alcohol because his sunshine always looked at him with her sad little eyes, almost as if she knew what he wanted to do and hugged his legs tightly until Yoongi set the bottle away and picked Ara up and spent the night cuddling her.

Things got easier as soon as Ara was old enough to finally go to kindergarten, allowing Yoongi to work more hours and on a daily basis again. It's not like he needed a lot of money, it's just that Yoongi needs to work. 

He's used to working all the time, he's always been-because working doesn't give him time to think about the tragedy that is his life.

Money wasn't an issue for the Min family, Yoongi used to be one of the most successful pianists and producers in South Korea, but he gave up on that as soon as Ara was born, just to have time for his family.

His friend Hyunjin offered him a job as a songwriter and composer at his own label JinHit Entertainment. 

Yoongi could work from home whenever he wanted and needed to, but the studio Hyunjin set him up was way better and filled with new technology that Yoongi loved playing and experimenting with.

The acclimatization to her new daily routine wasn't easy for Ara because she wasn't used to having women in her life-until now, it has always been Yoongi and Ara. They ended up switching kindergarten two times before Ara came into the one that you've been working at for a while now-instantly falling in love with you.

The first few days with your new reference child we're quite… interesting because the little girl was full of action and so curious about every little thing in the room that you couldn't sit still and talk to her father for a while because Ara grabbed your hand and pulled you towards the next game she wanted to play.

Her father, Min Yoongi, sent you an apologetic smile as he watched you play with his daughter from a distance, giving you time to get used to each other and build a bond. You winked at him as you took a seat next to Ara and started to explain the rules of the board game to her-impressed about how well she was understanding them.

It didn't take Ara a long time to send Yoongi home, waving him goodbye and pressing a loud kiss onto his lips. "Go and work, Appa! Uncle Hyunjinnie waits for you to make good music!"

Yoongi looked at her with a pout, crossing his arms over his chest. "You're telling me to leave? Just to go and work? That is rude, princess."

You giggled and hugged Ara as she ran over to you, Yoongi long forgotten.

"Would you like to bring your dad to the door, Ara? I think he might be sad if you won't. Remember: he won’t see you for a few hours and you don’t want your dad to be sad during lunch, right?"

Ara giggled but nodded nonetheless and grabbed Yoongi by the hand. "Hurry!"

Yoongi looked at you in shock, desperately trying to hold in his laugh. "I think you gave me Ara's evil twin instead of my sweet little princess! Where is my nice girl that always kisses Appa goodbye?"

You shrugged your shoulders playfully as one of the other kids asked for you to help him with building a big tower out of building blocks. "Have a nice day, Mr Min. Oh and make sure you won't forget about our appointment on Thursday! I don't think it'll take longer than an hour, it's just to talk about Ara's development so far."

Yoongi was one of the few parents that were always punctual, not even a minute too late-and the only parent you've never felt any kind of rage towards. Not only that, but he attended every kindergarten fest, always prepared little cupcakes for Ara's birthday to bring with her to kindergarten and share with her friends.

May was rolling around quickly and you were as eager as always to craft some little gifts for the children to give their mothers. 

You prepared some candle wax and melted it so the kids could fill it in plastic forms and add glitter and scent to their preference, just to have a nice little gift to give. 

Most of the kids had fun, some of them were a bit grumpy because they got glitter all over themselves, but there is one little girl pouting and trying not to cry in front of them, not even touching the wax.

Ara.

It breaks your heart every time, knowing that Ara's mother died years ago and that she probably had no other woman in her life because you’ve already heard that her father works quite a lot. 

Squatting down next to the little girl, you gently pinch her stomach just to hear her little giggles. 

"What's wrong, sweetheart? Don't you want to make a nice candle?"

Ara looks up at you, one single tear slipping out of her eye. "I don't have a mom, so no candle for me."

You coo, playing with Ara's hair as you stand up again, leading her towards the crafting table.

"That doesn't matter, Ara. I think your dad will be happy to get a candle too! We can pick a different color than pink, what do you think does he like the most? I’m sure we will find something!"

Ara taps her chin, smiling slightly as she thinks about Yoongi's favorite color. "Black! He wears black clothes! Always! Do we have black glitter, Y/N?" 

She scrunches her nose at the first few oils, but one scent really lights up her face. "This smells like Appa! Can we use this?" 

"We do, I didn't put it on the table because usually nobody wants it so it sits on the shelf, all by itself. I think the glitter finally deserves to be used!" You smile at the kid, grabbing the small container of glitter from the shelf and handing it over to Ara.

"We do have a few scents, would you like to smell them? Choose whichever you think smells the best and we can put a few drops in the wax,' you offer the bowl of different oils to Ara and help her open the lids.

Ara holds up the little bottle of rose oil and you smile to yourself. Black roses, that really seems to fit the impression you have of Mr. Min.

"Of course. Now, let's mix the glitter with the wax and we can put it into the mold. Alright, now stir it while i put in a few drops of the rose oil, okay?"

You guide her through the process, talking to her and listening to her rambling about the piano lessons Mr. Min gives her on a regular basis, just because Ara wants to be like her favorite man in the world.

"He is a great dad, Ara. You're so lucky to have him, I know that he must be sad sometimes too, but you're such a sunshine and help him as much as he helps you," you hug her from the side, enjoying the way Ara leans into the hug as well.

"I want a mom, but Appa is almost like a mom! He lets me paint his nails, goes to ballet with me and always bakes princess cookies for our tea parties!"

Ara giggles as she dips the wick into the liquid wax.

"Appa needs a woman to love, the only dates he goes to are work-dates with uncle Hyunjin," she says.

And yes, you think so as well.

One day around September, you decide that it’s definitely hot enough to prepare the blow-up outside pool for the kids, allowing them to change into their swimsuits and let them play around, even adding some bubbles to the water to let them experiment.

Mr. Min smiles at you, his gums fully showing and you can’t help but smile as well as you hear his words.

“And I think there’s no job that you could do better than this one.”

You’re sitting next to the pool on a bench in the shadow, reading some books to those few kids that don’t want to hop into the water as Ara jumps out of the pool.

“Y/N, come inside as well, it’s so nice!” She jumps up and down, her wet ponytail dripping onto her shoulders.

You pout, pointing to the kids next to you. “I can’t, you know that some of the kids are still afraid to go into the water with so many other children around. Maybe next time. Now, go and enjoy it, it’s super hot and I don’t know when autumn will come around and surprise us with bad weather!”

Ara nods quickly, hopping back into the water and continues splashing some water around with her friends, but she glances at you every few seconds. Then, she whispers with her two best friends before all three of them nod as they look at you.

Suddenly, they run towards you, surprising you with wet hugs and loud giggles, leaving your white summer dress almost see through.

Suddenly, there’s someone clearing his throat right behind you and you wish you could sink deep down into the pool once you see that it’s Mr. Min. 

“Girls!,” you can’t help but yelp, the cold water causing you to jump up from the bench. Yet, you laugh with them, the cooling really helping you with the heat.

“You can’t just do that, Ara. Look at my dress now, you can almost see through it, you’re lucky that the parents won’t come in within the next two hours, otherwise they would see me like this,” you try to look stern, but to be honest: you would have done the same if you were Ara.

“Ara, why did you do that?,” he asks with his calm voice and tries his best not to look at your hardening nipples under the dress. 

Ara’s bottom lip trembles as she looks at you with sad eyes. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I just thought it would be funny…”

Mr. Min turns to you and bows slightly. “I’m sorry, she shouldn’t have done that. And well, I came to pick her up earlier because we will visit her grandparents over the weekend. I should’ve informed you earlier. Is there any way I can help you with your… erm, dress?”

Mr. Min nods at you, picking up his-still wet-daughter as he looks you up and down slow enough to leave goosebumps all over your skin once again. 

You blush, shaking your head as you grab Ara’s clothes and hand her to her father.

“It’s alright, Mr. Min, it’s not your fault-and a water fight is too much fun to just not do it, right, Ara? It’s sunny enough so I’ll just bring the bench into the sun and I’ll be dry soon enough! I hope you’re having fun with your grandparents, Ara! Have a nice weekend, Mr. Min.”

“It’s alright, Mr. Min, really. You don’t know how many children happen to call one of us mom without realizing it. It’s nothing too wild, I’ve gotten used to it and I think especially in Ara’s case… It was supposed to happen, you know? I mean, I don’t want to intrude on your private life, but I suppose you’re not seeing another person and Ara isn’t growing up with other females, so she takes those she sees here as a female person to bond with, you know?”

“Thank you, mommy! Oh… I mean Y/N..,” Ara quirps as he turns around in her father’s arms, even though it doesn’t look like she’s really sorry at all.

“Ara!” Mr. Min gasps as he looks at his daughter. 

Yoongi shakes his head. “I haven’t seen another woman ever since my wife died. Ara is the only woman in my life, the only one I give all my love to. She deserves it,” he sighs. “But you’re right, I think another female person would really help her with growing up. I just don’t want to introduce her to some random woman I might not even want to spend the rest of my life with. Is this egoistic?”

His honest words hit you, knowing how lonely he must be, all alone with his little girl and a bunch of work he has to do. “It’s not, Mr. Min. You don’t have to date just because you think it would be the best for Ara. There are many single fathers that raise their kids perfectly fine and I think you’re one of them! Ara never tells bad stories about you and I think you’re doing a really good job, spending all of your free time with her and allowing her to experience so many fun things. I’ve met so many ‘happy’ families that didn’t even manage to pack breakfast for their kids, so really, don’t break your head over something like this! I’m happy that Ara accepted me so much and that she always comes to me whenever she has a problem. This is why I chose my job.”

Over the next few months, Mr. Min is all that’s on your mind, even though you know how unprofessional it is, but he’s even kinder to you than he’s been before. You usually have a small chat with every parent whenever they bring or pick up their children, but Mr. Min makes sure to always catch you and ask you about your day, if there’s anything new in your life and you can’t help but ask him about his work and the songs he’s been working on as well.

“Ah, it’s really stressful right now. I’m working with this band that’s debuting soon and we have to prepare and finish the entire album I wrote about five songs for. They’re really good but still so young, I think the oldest is 16? Or was it 17? Whatever, that’s like ten years younger than me! I think I’ll grow grey hair soon when I keep on working with such young idols,” he sighs playfully as he helps Ara to put on her shoes and jacket. 

“I mean, you’re not that old, Mr. Min. Don’t worry-as long as you keep that handful smile you will look like you’re straight out of some perfume poster. But I’d love to listen to one of your songs! I mean, if you’d let me,” you smile with honesty as you hand Ara her backpack. 

Mr. Min shrugs, pulling his phone out of his pocket as he opens his Spotify account. He types something in and turns the screen towards you. AGUST D, it says. You scrunch your eyes at the name, trying to remember where you’ve known it from, but it doesn’t ring a bell right now. 

“I’ll make sure to listen to some of your songs, I hope they aren’t too sad though, I prefer my music to be more… pop and rock?”

You cringe at your own words, hoping that the man knows what you were trying to say. 

And fuck, you did like it. Turns out that AGUST D wasn’t some softie that plays guitar lullabies, no. 

Yoongi cracks a grin, then winks at you playfull before he takes Ara’s hand after she said goodbye to you.

“I think you’re going to like it.”

AGUST D seems to be one of the best rappers in the music industry that you’ve ever been listening to. He sounds so aggressive and fast that you needed to listen twice to some of his songs to understand what he was saying, but you ended up adding much more songs into your playlist than you’d like to tell him.

But you did tell him.

“Oh, I’m not doing that crazy rap thing anymore. It was a phase, I guess. By now, I use the name to help smaller musicians and trainees, produce their songs and write their lyrics. It’s better to do so with a bigger name, but AGUST D died a long time ago, I guess I killed him.” Mr. Min says the next day.

"I mean, as long as you keep all of them on Spotify, I'm alright with that. Most of those songs match my aggressive driving vibe and I can't imagine driving to work without it." You try to joke before you realize what it must've sounded like. "Oh lord, I didn't mean it like that!" 

You blush, trying to hide your reddened cheeks in your palms, but Mr. Min just laughs it off.

"Don't worry, I get what you mean. I usually play Love Talk as soon as i leave this building."

He even has the audacity to wink at you before he leaves with a grin, causing Ara to coo.

"Appa really likes you if he teases you!"

And the teasing goes on and on, there’s almost no day without a snarky comment from Mr. Min or a sarcastic comment from you-but neither of you takes those words to heart because that’s what you need in your lives, someone to laugh with, someone to make jokes with.

Even though there are plenty of other children in your group and so many parents you talk to daily, the only one you’re happy to see in the afternoon is Mr. Min.

The summer is long gone and fall said goodbye a few weeks ago, December came around and your little crush on Mr. Min isn’t as little anymore-and you can’t help yourself but wonder if he might be into you as well. You’ve shared a few noons talking about Ara’s development and if she’s ready for school next September, but most of the times you didn’t talk about the girl for more than thirty minutes before one of you switched the topic to something more private as the man leans closer to you and locks his gaze with yours.

You’re not as nervous around him as you were before and you can feel him starting to open up towards you as well. Yet, you’ve never met outside of the kindergarten, knowing it would be way too unprofessional and you’d never want to ruin the wonderful bond you share with Ara just because you’re desperate to jump into her father’s lap and call him Daddy too.

You’re not one of those women to go into a club and have a dirty one night stand with a random stranger, but you’ve been too busy to actually go and meet people, so you’ve kind of gotten used to being alone, even though you’re really missing late night cuddles and Disney marathons.

It’s Saturday afternoon and you’ve been strolling through the mall for a while now, looking for some christmas presents for your friends and family-but also wanting to treat yourself because work has been more than just exhausting lately.

You’ve been handling the entire group alone, having a lot more smaller children because new kids have been coming to kindergarten and having to deal with so many parents alone can be pure hell. Sadly enough you’re living all by yourself, only having a few close friends that don’t understand why you’re even doing this underpaid job and your last relationship crashed almost two years ago.

The mall looks amazing, beautiful christmas ornaments are hanging from the ceiling and there must be someone playing the piano somewhere because the soft melodic tunes fill the entire mall, reminding you of Mr. Min once again.

You just stepped out of a lingerie store, something you’re really passionate about even though nobody but yourself sees you in it, but you love the feeling of lace on your skin, love how beautifully the soft colors compliment your skin and love imagining Mr. Min ripping the soft material off you.

The small paper bag in your hand, you look around for another shop that might hold the next christmas present for one of your friends. 

“Appa, please! I already have a picture but we need you to have one too!”

You know that voice too well to ignore it, searching the area for the small owner of it, giggling as you found her. Ara and Mr. Min are in the Santa area of the mall that gives you the ability to sit on Santa’s lap and take a picture with him as you tell him your biggest christmas wishes.

But the little girl is not sitting on Santa’s lap, she’s trying to push her father towards the man with the fake beard, clearly wanting him to sit down on that lap.

You giggle, walking towards them just to find out what’s going to happen.

“Ara, I’m too old and heavy for poor Santa, I think he prefers girls your age-wait, no not like that. I think he likes boys and girls-ugh. You’re driving me crazy, princess. Look, there’s a few other kids wanting to have their time with Santa as well, why don’t we just leave and try to find some more presents from the giftshop here, hm?” The man tries to talk his daughter into leaving the uncomfortable situation, but Ara is as stubborn as ever-she always gets what she wants, especially from her father.

“But… I want you to have pictures with Santa too!” She pouts, looking over at the confused Santa before she hears your giggle. “Y/N!”

Mr. Min turns around, a shocked expression on his face and a soft pink tint on his cheeks.

“Oh, Ms. Y/L/N. What a surprise.”

You giggle even more, stepping closer towards them. “Hello Ara, good afternoon Mr. Min,” you bow slightly before accepting the little girl’s hug. 

“I see, you really want to sit on Santa’s lap, but Ara doesn’t want to let you because she’d be embarrassed.” 

Yoongi hums in agreement. “Horrible, those children. I mean, I just want a nice christmas picture with Santa, but you know how they are… right before puberty hits them.”

“Y/N, Appa doesn’t want to take a picture with Santa, would you sit on his lap and take a picture for me?” Ara looks up at you with her big eyes and like always, you can’t say no. Instead, you hand Mr. Min your bags-not thinking about the fact that one of them is from the lingerie store-before taking Ara’s hand and walking over to the smiling Santa.

The picture is quickly taken and not even five minutes later, Mr. Min hands you your bags, whispering, so Ara wouldn’t hear you. “I think the peach one will suit you the best.”

Ara nods and rips the bags out of Mr. Min’s hands to show you her cute dresses and bows while the man just stares at you with an open mouth. Did you really just say that to him? 

You gasp, hiding the bags behind your back but who are you to deny the fact that this man is the exact reason you stepped into the store?

“Thank you, I hope someone will get to see them before Christmas. It would be a shame to waste those pretty pieces for some lame mirror selfies,” you smile innocently before squatting down next to Ara. “Did you buy something nice yet?”

“Appa, we wanted to get hot chocolate, can Y/N come too please?”

Yoongi is speechless once more as he quietly follows his daughter and her kindergarten teacher towards the mall’s cafe-realizing that he shouldn’t have chosen his tightest pair of skinny jeans because somehow, they got quite uncomfortable as soon as you arrived.

Yoongi raises an eyebrow at his daughter before he picks up all the dresses that Ara tried to shove back into the bags. “If she wants, she’s welcome to join, but I think you should ask her first, maybe she is busy.”

You blush at the invitation, not sure whether to accept it or not-but you’re not one to decline on hot chocolate. Smiling at Ara, you nod. “Show me where to get the best hot chocolate, I’m craving something sweet and thick down my throat.”

He watches you as Ara grabs your hand and swings them around with a soft giggle, heart warming as he sees your fond smile.

Ara talks about you a lot-hell, Yoongi asks about you a lot whenever Ara doesn't want to talk about you but watch her favorite show.

It's unprofessional and probably not allowed, Yoongi knows, but Ara leaves for school in March anyways, so who cares? 

It's obvious to the both of you that you're interested in each other, the flirting and teasing coming to a point where Yoongi can't wait for another snarky remark of yours.

And now that he has the chance to sit and talk with you outside of your workplace, you just chose to buy a bag full of fucking beautiful lingerie (yes, Yoongi looked inside, no, he doesn't regret it).

Ara leads you into this beautiful cat cafe that apparently has "The best hot chocolate and bubble tea, but it's too cold for bubble tea… Can they make hot bubble tea?" as Ara says, earning a harsh "no" from Yoongi, because that's something he wishes for as well.

"Go find a place with Mr. Y/L/N, Ara. I'll get your order, yeah? What can I order for you?" Yoongi looks at you as he pulls out his wallet, giving you some time to read the menu.

"Oh, the candy cane hot chocolate, please! And please, as long as we are not talking inside the kindergarten, call me Y/N. I mean, you've seen my underwear, I think you deserve to call me by my name."

Yoongi blushes, nodding and rushes towards the cashier to order your drinks. You smile at the man, then at the cats-they look somewhat similar-before you sit down next to Ara who is currently petting four cats on her lap.

"They're adorable," you coo, "Do you have any pets?"

Ara nods with a big smile and hands you one of the cats, a pretty one with orange fur and big eyes. 

"I have a turtle! Gukkie gave it to me and Appa didn't like it first, but I love her!"

You enjoy the cat's purring as you gently stroke her chin. "A turtle sounds lovely, I hope you can show it to me one day."

"Oh, that won't be a problem, I can invite you for dinner and Appa will get shy and red in the face, but he wouldn't say no because he's super soft for-" "ALPACAS! I'm soft for alpacas, haha, here we go, three hot chocolates."

Yoongi appears with a pained expression as he places your hot chocolate right in front of you.

"Thanks, Yoongi," you smile at the man and Yoongi swears that his heart stopped beating for a second. "I'm soft for Alpacas as well."

Right after you all finished your drinks, Ara decides that it’s time to walk through the mall once more, just to make sure that Santa is still there and will take another picture with hot chocolate-filled Ara. 

“Did you enjoy your date with Y/N, Appa?” She looks up at her father as you walk towards the mall. Yoongi trembles, blushing brightly. “I’m pretty sure this wasn’t a date, Ara. Don’t assume things like this, it’s rude,” he mumbles as he gently pets her head to make sure she isn’t hurt by his comment.

You giggle, whispering loud enough for Yoongi to hear. “I really liked it, Ara. Your Appa can be funny if he wants to.”

The picture with Santa comes out pretty, even though the man groaned as two grown adults decided to sit on each of his legs, the bright smiling Ara kneeling in front of them. But it’s really worth it, because Yoongi’s smile never leaves his lips this evening, gums showing beautifully on the picture and you quickly make sure to get a copy of that picture as well.

Yoongi’s eyes widen. “So was this a… you know?” It’s endearing, how shy he suddenly seems to be. You’ve never seen him like this. Stressed, overworked and happy - yes. Shy and blushing? Never.

You nod with a soft smile as you lay your hand on his shoulder.

“Yes, I’d like that to be a ‘you know what’, Yoongi.”

You can't even tell when the two of you officially started dating, but you'll never forget the first kiss you've shared during one of your walks-thanks to Ara for snapping a picture of it. Yoongi's hands wrapped around your waist, eyes clenched shut and lips curled in a soft smile as fresh snow fell down on you.

Seeing Yoongi at work wasn’t as weird as you had expected it to be, it’s quite the opposite. He’s attentive and lovely, bringing you fresh croissants or donuts every morning or puting little chocolate for you and Ara in his daughter’s lunchbox.

He’s caring, picking you up after your shift to invite you to dinners and walks through the forest with Ara, because that little girl just loves walking in the fresh snow that has started to fall recently. She takes pictures of your footprints with Yoongi’s phone and makes him promise to print it for her to hang up.

“Of course I can, Ara. You’re already wearing your sleeping clothes and you’ve brushed your teeth with Appa, so hurry up and pick out the book you want me to read!” 

Ara grows closer and closer to you, until that one day where you stay over the Min’s house for dinner, she asks you to bring her to bed.

“Can she, Appa? I want her to read my favorite bedtime story to me! Please, Y/N,” Ara looks up at you with a pout, her beautiful eyes-that remind you of Yoongi-sparkling with admiration. 

That girl really makes your heart melt, combined with the soft smile that Yoongi gives you. And suddenly, you feel like you’re meant to be here, helping that man that you’ve grown so close to, helping the girl that lost her mother way too early and maybe even helping yourself with accepting that love really comes unexpectedly.

You gently tuck the soft blanket over Ara and place her favorite stuffie next to her as you smile at the girl fondly. "Sleep well, Ara," you whisper quietly, trying not to wake her up.

"Kissies, please," she mumbles sleepily and makes grabby hands towards you.

"Ara, I-" "Please," she whines and opens her eyes, tears starting to build up.

"Okay, it's okay, Ara." You swipe her hair out of her face before you plant a soft little kiss onto the girl's forehead. "Good night, sweetheart."

"Good night, Y/N. Will you be there tomorrow morning?"

Your smile fades, unsure if you really want to tell the little girl the truth. 

"Probably not, I have to get ready for work. You know that I love to wear dresses on Thursdays and I didn't bring mine. But we will see each other in the kindergarten!"

"Okay," she whispers before she falls back into a quiet slumber.

Yoongi has cleaned the kitchen in the meantime and poured more wine for the both of you to enjoy in front of the fireplace.

"She really adores you," he says as you sit down next to him, sipping the rosé Yoongi bought just for you.

"And I adore her. She's an angel. Thank you for allowing me to spend so much time with her, Yoon."

Yoongi blushes again, shaking his head. The greyish blonde hair got messier as the evening passed. "No, Y/N. You're the first mother-figure Ara has, I have to thank you in both mine and Ara's name. I know that dating a single father is a lot, but you're accepting my family so well… I never thought I'd find another woman in my life again. Ever since my wife died, it was hard for me to even look at other women, let alone build up something like a relationship with them because I always felt bad. But that's what she would have wanted for me. To love again, to not waste my last handsome days," his lips curl into a smirk before he shakes again. 

Then, his sharp eyes met yours and soften within seconds. 

"I… I don't know if it's the right time, we've known each other for two years, we've been officially dating for only three weeks, but I think I won't change my mind about it-no I know that I won't change my mind. I love you, Y/N. And I know that Ara loves you too."

You gasp, lips beginning to tremble once your eyes meet Yoongi's. "Yoongi…," you whisper before you place your glass on the table and basically jump onto his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck. 

"I wanted to be the one to tell you first. I love you so much, Yoongi. I've had this stupid crush on you ever since you saw me in that wet dress, ever since you've shown me your music. Ever since I've seen you being the wonderful father you are-and that's so sexy, you can't even imagine."

Yoongi smirks as his hands find their place on the curve of your ass. "Sexy, huh? Me, doing the laundry and cooking dinner? Or me walking Ara to kindergarten with the homemade lunch boxes? That turns you on?"

You laugh, hiding your face in his neck as you lean closer to press your lips against his ear.

"All of that-and the way that you love Ara with all your heart, that's maybe the sexiest thing about you."

The man groans as he grabs you even tighter. "I never thought that sweet talk would turn me on even more than dirty talk," he laughs shakily as he wiggles his hips slightly to get into a more comfortable position that won't suffocate his hardening erection.

You sigh, sit up and run your hands through his hair. "Isn't all of this too early? I always tell myself that I shouldn't fall so fast, but here I am, ready to go every step with you."

Yoongi nods before he presses a peck on your nose. "Same, but we have all the time on earth. Ara wants us to get married by tomorrow, but I'm sure she'll survive it if we decide to postpone it for a few weeks."

You giggle as you look over your shoulder to the fireplace. "Did someone ever suck you off in front of a fireplace? Isn't this the definition of Christmas?"

The man underneath you gasps in shock. "No, but… I mean, I… You don't… have to?"

Laughing, you slide out of his lap and onto the floor, thankful for the soft carpet. "I want to, bubs. I wouldn't do something either of us isn't comfortable with. I assume you're alright with it?"

"Of course, but… I guess nobody ever did it because they wanted to, but because they feel like they had to?"

You raise an eyebrow at him, obviously disappointed in his previous partners. 

"It's as much fun and pleasure for me as it is for you, believe me, Yoon. Now lay back and enjoy, yeah?" You give him a calming smile as you open his pants carefully, then sliding them down his toned legs.

You press kisses all around his thighs to warm him up to the feeling, knowing that it has to be overwhelming to have some that close after all that time. Then, you gently remove his boxer shorts as well, leaving him bare and proud in front of you.

You groan as you start to stroke his cock, earning a low growl from Yoongi. "So beautiful," you whisper, then you take him into your mouth, getting a feeling for the weight on your tongue before you start bopping your head. 

Yoongi tries to contain himself, knowing that Ara could wake up every second, but alone the sight in front of him could make him come with a scream.

Instead, he cups your cheek, feeling the bulge that he causes there. Another groan leaves his lips. 

You look up at him, smirking-or trying to, with a mouth full of cock-and leading his hand into your hair, using it to push you down even more.

Yoongi's eyes lighten up. "Really?"

You almost laugh out, but you're doing your best to contain yourself and nod, placing your hands on his thighs to stop whenever you can't take it anymore. Yoongi is long and thicker than the average you've had before, but it's a challenge that's worth it.

He pushes you down slowly, enjoying the hot warmth of your mouth and then your throat as he pushes in-surprised that you didn't really gag around him.

Spit trickles down your chin as he moves faster, thrusting his hips to meet the movements of his hand and enjoying the gurgling sounds you make.

He comes far to quick for his own liking, shooting his load down your throat with a quiet groan. "Fuck."

You giggle as you swallow what he gives you, standing up to sit back on his lap to kiss him.

"You're welcome." 

Then, before you can grab your wine again, he flips you around and goes on his knees in front of you. "My turn," he smirks, eyes shining dangerously behind his fringe. 

"Yoongi, I-," you try to say, but he shushes you with a sloppy kiss.

"I know that I have to, but believe me: I love giving pleasure more than receiving it."

You pout, hands running through his soft hair.

"I didn't shave…," you whisper, a bit ashamed because you didn't come prepared, not thinking that this would be happening today.

The man in front of you raises an eyebrow.

"Do you think I am a 15 year old, pre puberty fuckboy that cares about shaved pussies? It's natural, love. Even if you can't believe it: I grow hair too, nobody is freshly shaved every day. I don't mind that, okay? Now, stop pouting and let me do my work, will you? Can you be a good girl and do that for me? All you've got to do is lean back, open your legs, throw them around my shoulders and let me devour you."

His shameless words turn you on, you can't even deny it-especially not when your panties are that damp. So, you naturally obey and help him to remove your pants.

"I told you, peach is your color," Yoongi groans in his deep Satoori as he looks at your clothed core. The peach colored lace has darkened from your arousal and the man can't help it but press his face against the material, licking one bold stripe over it.

Nobody has ever done that to you, rather pulled them off in a hurry because they thought that body fluids were disgusting, but Yoongi didn't seem to mind as he gently bites your folds through the lace. 

"God," you moan in pleasure as Yoongi finally pulls your panties to the side and spits onto your pussy, making it even wetter.

You're a whimpering mess as soon as Yoongi's tongue is on you, flicking and playing with your clit, collecting your juices and spreading them all over your pussy. You've read about that before; men eating pussy like they're starving, but Yoongi is somewhat different.

He eats pussy like he wants you to always remind it, to make you obedient and never being able to enjoy anyone else doing that job.

He does it well-of course. His tongue is as fast as he's been spitting rhymes on his mixtape, and you're more than thankful for that.

He doesn't even get to use his fingers before your orgasm approaches you, strong waves of pleasure hitting you as Yoongi keeps on kissing and slowly licking you through your high.

Then, he grins at you. "Round two, here we go."

And this time, it's not only his tongue working wonders, but also his fingers stroking you on the inside until they found your spot. 

You press your hands on your mouth to keep yourself from screaming out loud, hips bucking wildly as you come for a second time within less than ten minutes. And again, Yoongi guides you through it and softly caresses your stomach.

"Fuck, I love you," you pant as he comes back up and steals a kiss from you.

"I can't wait to have you in my bed properly," he whispers and takes a large sip from his wine. 

You can only agree.

You've started to spend the nights at Yoongi's more often, bringing Ara to work with you and helping Yoongi with her and the household whenever you can. Your relationship blooms beautifully and Ara is the happiest little bean when you're around.

Obviously, you spent Christmas with Yoongi and Ara as well, buying little presents and enjoying the comfortable atmosphere with the family.

Yoongi gave you a spare key to his house, so you're always able to visit them, spending the nights there and soon enough, you moved in.

❄❄❄❄

The Christmas after that, you surprised Ara with the adoption papers, telling her that now that she's in school and not one of your kindergarten kids anymore, she'll be able to finally call you Mommy (not that Ara minded before, you just felt weird and guilty about it).

And here you are now, preparing the huge breakfast for your third Christmas around, smiling at the ring that adorns your finger. 

"Smells fabulous, Mama," Ara says as she runs towards you and falls into your arms.

"Do you want me to help you with dessert, Mrs Min?" Yoongi asks as he presses a kiss onto your cheeks. You lean into his touch, shaking your head. "It's almost done. You can go into the living room, I'll be there in a minute to open our presents, bubs."

Yoongi prepares the fireplace, lightens some candles with Ara and lets his daughter hand out the presents. 

"I have one more for you, Yoon," you whisper as you hand him a small box.

"Oh? Can I open this first?" He tilts his head curiously, shaking the light box.

"Open!" Ara squeaks and sits down between her father and you. You nod with a fond smile as Yoongi lifts the top. Then, silence.

"Really?" He whispers with teary eyes.

"Yes, finally," you smile, "Ara, you'll become a big sister!"

Yoongi sniffs, hugging his family tight.

"And she'll be the best sister in the world. Merry Christmas, loves."