#as always Doe delivers delightfully solid work

[agentnico]

Shrinking - Season 1 (2023) Review

“What kind of a person hugs and tells!?” is a great line! I get that out of context this quote means nothing to the passive reader, however within the moment and Harrison Ford’s delivery of that line is pure hilarious perfection. If you’re intrigued, it’s the more reason to watch this show!

Plot: A grieving therapist starts to break the rules by telling his clients exactly what he thinks. Jimmy has lost his wife and wants to try a new approach to his loss, but it is unclear how this will help others.

Amongst Apple TV+ aim of dominating the streaming realm, we have been given the pleasure of receiving a new comedy drama series from the writers of Ted Lasso. That’s it - stop there. You sold me this one. As for anyone who hasn’t seen Ted Lasso, it is probably the one main reason to subscribe to the Apple streaming platform. Ted Lasso may just feature the most outright positive set of characters to ever grace television screens. Especially the titular Ted, played charmingly by Jason Sudeikis, offers compassion, humility and decency, even in the face of insults and abuse. His unshakeable good mood could have been an irritating trait in the wrong hands, but Sudeikis gave the character an endearing quality which lifted viewers' spirits. And the surrounding cast around him is for the most part delightfully lovely. Except for Nate. I mean f*** that guy, am I right?? So the writers set out to repeat the magic with the new series titled Shrinking. Does it have the cult status set out by its older football-themed brother? Well...

What Shrinking reminds me of is those early 2000s Judd Apatow comedies, that always featured one outlandish (commonly raunchy) plot point however within that were a set of immature characters who have some growing up to do, featuring earnest themes about love, relationships, friendship and family. With Shrinking there isn’t much raunchiness, however it is very much a show about flawed characters who have some growing up to do. Jason Segel, who previously appeared in a few aforementioned Judd Apatow films, leads the cast here as the grief ridden therapist who has lost his way in life after losing his wife. His growth is as obvious as apples on trees - he needs to let go of the past and learn to appreciate the good things surrounding him in the present. His daughter on the other hand needs to learn that her dad is so much better and supportive than she makes him out to be. And so on forth with the rest of the characters. 

I would say Shrinking is nowhere as remarkable nor memorable as Ted Lasso, however what works in this show’s favour is that it is an easy watch. All the characters are super likeable and watchable, you get plenty of solid humour as well as enough dramatic heft too. Jason Segel as always looks like a lost beat down dog, but that’s weirdly his most appealing charm. If you’ve liked Segel in How I Met Your Mother or Forgetting Sarah Marshall, he’s the same Segel of guy here who’s constantly having a midlife crisis and can never amusingly do anything right without frustrating someone. Harrison Ford gets to stretch out his comedic chops here and receives some of the script’s funniest lines, delivered wonderfully by his regular grizzly grunt-filled voice. Jessica Williams also brings a lot of fast paced energy and excitement to her role, and then I also wanted to give a shout out to Ted McGinley. He plays Segel’s neighbour’s husband, and he’s not in the show much, but whenever he did, he’d always be this overly positive happy go lucky bean. Just so happy and delightful. Love that guy.

In terms of problems, I’d say the show suffers a little from an identity crisis. It’s pitched as a story where a therapist begins to break rules and starts telling his clients exactly what he thinks and telling them what they need to do. And for the first couple of episodes that is somewhat present, but after than this concept if for the most part completely dropped, whereas I wish there could have been more done with it. Additionally, there are certain characters here that are blatantly unlikeable, and I don’t think the show realises this. For example, Ford’s character is suffering from a developing Parkinson’s disease. So he begins reconnecting with his daughter, however she is an outright despicable self centred human being who is absolutely horrible to her dad. Yet the show tries to justify the daughter’s actions by seemingly making it seem like Ford deserves all the berating and neglect from her. Same goes for Segel’s daughter - at times she was annoying too. Basically, it seems like Shrinking makes it seem like all daughters are terrible, which seems a tad perplexing. 

Overall I enjoyed this new Apple TV+ comedy series. I’ve heard they’ve already greenlit a second season, which I am perfectly okay with as it’s a perfectly apt sitcom that one can tune in to on a weekly basis for 30 minutes of giggles. It doesn’t break any new ground, but it’s an easy watch, and sometimes an easy watch is exactly what ones needs.

Overall score: 7/10

[vaguely-concerned]

The Mandalorian Chapter 14 reactions: HOLY SHIT THAT WAS AWESOME BUT ALSO I’M CRYING edition

- the good good din characterization is back after all the weirdness last episode!!!! that soft way he says ‘no, no, I’m not mad at you’? THAT’S din djarin, he would not be fucking impatient with his son having just been informed and seen for himself that he is terrified, go away mr filoni I know you’ve got all of canon memorized but you don’t get this lol. this feels much more right in how din being conflicted and still thinking he should give the baby away for his own good plays out too  

honestly every line of dialogue for him in this one was perfect I was just whispering ‘I love this awkward clueless wonderful man just doing his best’ to myself any time he said anything. “...does this look Jedi to you?” sir I adore you more than words can describe

- we got din chuckling. asjdklfhsdkafghsdafsadhjkfsdahjkfh. fskahfksjad. side note: I can’t believe my joke post about din desperately trying to Force home school the kid with the one (1) jedi trick he knows about and the baby being delighted by it over and over anyway -- listen to his expectant excited laugh when din takes the ball and sets up the game!!!! -- was canon all along. and then the baby & mando music kicking in when he gently put the silver ball into the baby’s hands again and tells him he’s special (because he IS special. to din)? hmng. hmmmmnnnnn  

they opened on the height of softness so we would all crumple under the weight of the rest of the episode and that was very mean of them in a way I sincerely appreciate 

- nothing to see here... just a dad trying to walk through the literal manifestation of the unassailable underlying forces of the universe to get to his baby again and again........ the desperation in that, the love, the foolhardy devotion................... shit

- okay so I might be a dumbass, but I’d never noticed this before -- the silver ball has a blue spot on the top, like so: 

and in addition we get the room where the baby goes full darth grogu (I have to laugh so I don’t cry okay) on those storm troopers, and there’s a red light in there dominating the room (and it did even more in the concept art):

in star wars blue means light side and red means dark side (it’s very sophisticated that way), meaning the visual storytelling here is that there’s a battle for the baby’s soul and gideon and all his nonsense (and the trauma bb’s been through in the wider sense) is pulling towards the dark, while grogu and din’s connection leads him towards the light. just... the image of the baby looking at his own reflection in the symbolic representation of his relationship to din? the way children find their sense of self through being safely reflected and held by their caretakers? god help meeeeeee I will go in there and fistfight gideon myself for disrupting that in any way  

the smaller light seems to be blue too, like there’s still the presence of light even if it’s dimmed and small in that shitty horrible room, which is a change from the concept art!

- FENNEC SHAND SURVIVED BITCHES!!! I even called that she’d be back with new shiny robot parts back in season 1, could not happen to a cooler lady, I hope we get more backstory and interaction from her the next episodes -- sounds like she’s basically sworn herself to boba’s service in gratitude for saving her life, I wonder if that’s a cultural thing of whereever she comes from? does she live aboard slave 1 now too?? because that would be hilarious and amazing, it must be like two strange cats trying to get used to sharing the same space   

- everything I could ever hope for about boba fett in this series came true, they went down the much more interesting and nuanced route with jango and boba’s identities as mandalorians, he looked cool as fuck and made din as a character shine rather than overshadowing him... amazing beautiful yesss 

(I did 100% not anticipate just how ‘cool uncle boba here to help you fuck shit up’ he was going to be but I am delighted to get it anyway. uncle points deducted for getting someone to point a gun at the baby, but the main point still stands lol) 

the power and brutality of his hand to hand fighting too... a w e s o m e , I enjoyed the action scenes a lot in this one

- they even recanonized him actually wearing jango’s armour. what more could I ask for. I’ve had confused parent & child feels about these two since I was like eleven and here we fucking go again. and jango fighting in the mando civil wars too!

- so I’m grieving the razor crest (and I always will be, rip you magnificent jalopy, always in my heart) but also there’s the grim satisfaction that my reading on it was sort of true -- it is (...was. oh god it’s going to take a while to sink in huh) a symbol of din’s self and life, and at this point when they take the baby it tears everything else to pieces. the only thing that’s left in the ashes is the beskar and the thing that connects him to the baby. and there’s... a strange solace in seeing that that’s all he needs to keep going? he’s fucking obliterated from orbit but he still has his love for the baby and the beskar and that can keep him going until he finds something new, everything else can be replaced?????? weirdly healing, though he is probably going to have a solid breakdown at some point after they get the kid back (shut up they are getting the kid back) and the cold distant fog lifts 

also this scene/shot feels like it carries some Meaning, doesn’t it? I’m on record several times saying I never want din to be mand’alor and that’s still true, but there’s something about the framing of this and the way boba looks at him that’s like... hm. I’m not sure I have the words for it. there’s something heightened about it, anyway, for a moment he looks like something mythic there in the wreckage 

(something I would be much cooler with is our clan of two growing a little bit and those new people rallying behind him, actually, that might be neat. imagine if a force user does show up for the baby and gets adopted into the clan somehow??? so many possibilities.) 

- from the way he picks up the silver ball... din djarin is on his way to straight up murder some people huh

I think part of what reassures me about this scene is the music -- this mando flute is not distant, is not beaten, is not despondent, it’s clear and determined and strong.

- 

I love this. I love when we get explicit baby POVs, it makes it feel so real and intimate and... like home. (I especially loved baby’s point of view inside the razor crest, which just made me tear up again. baby lost the closest thing he’s had to a home in a long long time on top of it all. everything is suffering)

-

Emotionally Significant Thumb Grabbing tm; the show

- din djarin looking for the ‘on’ switch on a magic rock fhsdakjfhsadlfhsdjah I can’t breathe

 “Well, this is the seeing stone. Are you. Seeing anything?” fsafkdsajhfsa sdhfksjalhfkjsdahfkjsdhf

- the energy around the baby as he’s, in ahsoka’s words, ‘choosing his path’ is blue, and the force sort of works across time and space, right?? so there’s definitely still hope for our lil green bean to not have to come up with a really dumb unsubtle sith name for himself, as is regrettably yet delightfully tradition. darth babbu should never come to pass (I do like how they’re interrogating the normal dark/light side dichotomy in this series, seeing as this is a literal baby who can’t really be responsible for that stuff himself yet and has such capacity for both.)  

- listen. listen, the way din says ‘can you please hurry up’ with no sarcasm or real impatience whatsoever, more like a harried worry, to his force-meditating son as he jogs off to make sure no one’s trying to kill them. is hilarious and also YES this is what the character is!!! weirdly and incongruously polite under stress sometimes and with a slightly odd reaction pattern to things!!! he’s not just quiet and badass, he’s a little strange sometimes and it’s so good!  

- a friendly opening volley warning shot from boba there

also din uncertainly asking BOBA FETT if he’s a jedi... now this is the dramatic irony I’ve been looking for haha 

I guess neither shand nor boba actually know din’s name after this either. baby you gotta start introducing yourself at some point it gets real confusing when there are two mandos on screen 

oh the long weary sigh going through din’s frame when boba says he wants ‘the armour’ and he thinks it’s just someone trying to peel the beskar off his corpse again. sorry the galaxy’s so shitty dad   

- “But fate sometimes steps in to rescue the wretched” is a killer line well done mr favreau. I like that boba actually offers din a good deal as well and seems to intend to deliver on it from how things are going. 

- din using his beskar-covered bod to cover someone he’s fighting alongside!!! literal moving cover haha. also I love fennec’s costume design  

- I don’t know where din got more whistling birds from and I don’t care, it was really cool haha 

-

wow haha um so anyway -- 

(cue all the ‘who wore it better’ with cobb vanth’s ‘spiderman’s first home made costume’ look on one side and ABSOLUTE UNIT DADDY boba fett on the other side posts lol)

- aaaghh the music almost like a stunned desperate fluttering heart beat as din watches the razor crest be destroyed 

- for someone who has willingly worked for them in the past boba sure sounds less than thrilled about having the empire back in any capacity 

- oof the deadness in din’s voice when he says “The child is gone”. ooooh no that got me  h e l p 

- guessing next episode is at least partly a ‘gathering old allies and preparing the assault’ step before the grand finale, then! they cannot go for the season ender cliffhanger with this, I will fucking riot. anything can be up in the air except baby and dad being separated, I will not allow it

it would be very funny if the force user baby called out to comes stumbling into the middle of all this like the troy entering the room with pizzas meme too 

- the music in the darth grogu scene is partially a dark mirror of the baby & mando music :’( is nothing in this world sacred

also from how he reaches out for it baby might have used a light saber before in the past with the jedi? ngl the idea of baby wielding the dark saber not when he’s all grown up but in like two episodes -- with all the chaos a toddler holding a laser sword would involve -- is all that is keeping me sane here 

‘liable to put an eye out with one of these’ well gideon you sure have doomed someone to lose an eye with that one, here’s to hoping it’s you, for full dramatic payoff 

he is a deliciously smug awful force with great musical cues tho, you have to give it to him

- okay so this

is obviously awful and horrible and it makes me so sad... but it is undeniably also very very very funny in how it’s framed. you know what? after all this bullshit baby grogu can have a little dark side tantrum, as a treat, we’ve all been there right

(forget finding a jedi, we need to go out there and find a child psychologist who can help him deal with this without adding the fear that he’s on the path to become a two foot tall evil space sorcerer to the mix Y_________Y) 

- rip the razor crest except for the second time :’’’( gone but never forgotten

- the last thing din tells the baby is “I’m gonna protect you; I’ll be back soon”. and I hope that stays with the kid somehow and that it actually comes true, that din will be back for him as soon as humanly possible and all this pain and fear can be repaired. ggggghhhhh my emotions are too big for my dumb human body 

[bubblesthemonsterartist]

*cracks knuckles* Clearly I’m going straight for the Blackout. 

ENJOY, FRIENDS. FOR YOU, I THROW IT UNDER THE CUT

Under 1000 Words

take my burdens (and bury them deep) by @thelionshymnal​ Rated M Nothing makes me happier than a fic of my favorite BroTP, especially when Obi is offering to disappear Kiki’s dirty dealings. Content warning for attempted sexual assault and Obi doing what he does best: getting rid of the body.

A Fic That Got You Involved In Fandom

Seven Suitors for Shirayuki by @sabraeal​ Rated T Look. You all are just going to have to accept that there is a certain generation of this fandom that was dragged in, kicking and screaming, by this fic. I wanted to diversify by saying something else managed it, but no. It was the fact that this story was stuck on chapter five for MONTHS that made me vibrate until my own fic fell out. XD

Made You Laugh Out Loud

An Extra Rise Before Dawn by @sabraeal​ Rated G I don’t often worry that I am going to pee from laughing so hard when I’m reading something, but this one definitely does. In one spot in particular. You might be able to guess it. It is simultaneously an incredible sweet and incredibly funny fic that hits all the right notes for me.

Favorite Trope Reversal

Fussing with Firedrakes by @leewritingrecs​ Rated T 1) Dragons. 2) Damsel in distress is no damsel and she is NOT in distress thank you very much 3) Kiki is a DRAGON 4) Obi is cursed, and 5) DID I MENTION D R A G O N S ???

Fic That Made You Friends With the Author

The Wide Florida Bay by @sabraeal​ Rated E I had to think about this because while I read Seven Suitors first, this was the series that made me start sending anons and eventually made me join tumblr where I proceeded to endlessly play the ‘what if’ game with Jen. CLEARLY this is where our friendship was forged.

Action-Packed Fight Scene

Agent, Parts I, II, and III by @infinitelystrangemachinex​ Rated T Like Jen, I was positively torn, because both Andi and Sarah do fight scenes SO WELL, but Agent ultimately won out because there is just something so delightful about Shirayuki flailing and clinging to Obi like a cat that doesn’t want to go in the bath while arrows zip all around them

Edit: Screw it, I’m reccing them both

Republic of Tanbarun by @claudeng80​ Rated T An action adventure series where romance is involved but is by no means the focus. Zen and Obi adventures abound. Politics galore. And some masterfully done slow-motion to quick motion fight scenes that I L O V E D

Gen Fic

Fugue in Three by @infinitelystrangemachinex​ Rated G Ryuu casually destroys Obi and Shirayuki by breathing as they count down the days until he comes of age. Technically this fic has a romantic pairing, but it is by no means the focus of this fic. If you don’t agree, you are welcome to meet me under the Big Oak between the hours of 12 and 4 for a duel.

Missing Scene

Like Brothers Do by @claudeng80​ Rated G Obi is clearly Kiki’s annoying big brother and handles Mitsuhide’s rejection in the best way he knows how. Also read: Mitsuhide gets what’s coming to him. (ง'̀-'́)ง

Canon Divergent

We work at the mall by @kaedix​ Rated T With how many AUs we got floating around this fandom, I was hard pressed to choose a favorite. But there is just something so sweet and wholesome and American teenager about this. It just latches onto you and never lets go. (Also the gang all work at my favorite places in the mall when I was growing up. What’s not to love?)

Steamiest Kiss

Were Hearts Not An Unknown Country by @sabraeal​ Rated T LOOK. SOMEONE was going to have to go dig this out of the rubble of her compilation fics and it might as well be me. Also the birthplace of the much loved AnS fandom practice of solstice kissing.

Contains Your Favorite Headcanon

The road to Clarines is Gravel by @codango​ Rated E Not the focus of the fic as a whole, but like, Torou and Obi are siblings. GALAXY MIND EXPLOSION. I mean, I loved that so much that I wrote a pre-canon fic of this fic. Additional note totally not related to the bingo square: I will ALWAYS be here for positive sex worker representation in fics. Fair warning, though, this is the most unfair AU in existence because the brain screams that it SHOULDN’T WORK and yet by some sort of writerly sorcery, it DOES. PLEASE READ IT IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY.

Wept Real Tears

let it make you by @thelionshymnal​ Rated M It’s not every day that someone manages to write a fic that makes me stare numbly at the very first line for a solid 15 minutes, big fat tears rolling down my cheeks, but Hymn did it. And then she somehow managed to kiss it better. All in 1100 words.

Free Space

AnS Role Swap AU by @owlsshadows​ Rated M This series has it all. Shirayuki as an assassin. Obi as both a royal bastard and a pharmacist. A mysterious meeting out in the woods where it makes you question whether Nanaki and Obi are two different people or the same. Also Zen having some very conflicted feelings regarding his royal authority and how he can choose to handle rejection.

Edit: Since I’ve already doubled up once, let me double up again, I have so much love to give and not enough space to give it!

Blizzard by @nebluus​ Rated T This is one of the earliest fics I read in this fandom and it remains to date one of my absolute favorites. Obi gets hurt protecting his Miss and a blizzard rolls in. Thankfully they find a cabin where Obi, who is definitely on his death bed if no one finds them and SOON, proceeds to still fuss over his Miss. Best scene: When he warms her hands with his. Also the second chapter is all sorts of delightful domesticity I IMPLORE you to please read it and soon.

Favorite Fan-Made OC

All Pain Will Turn to Medicine by @sabraeal​ Rated M All y’all should’ve seen these coming from ten miles out. I fucking LOVE Herr Anda, the cantankerous little bastard. And Jen knows this because she designed him specifically with me in mind. Academic catnap >:|

AU That Made You Find the Source Material

All Knotted Up by @sabraeal​ Rated G Admittedly, there are a great many AUs out there that made me look up the source material, but this Tangled AU is the most recent because I finally got on Disney+. And yes, Mitsuhide is the horse. Ryuu may be Pascal a little bit, but Mitsuhide. He’s The Horse. XD

First AnS Fic You Read

Loyalty by Evelyn Fiedler Rated K+ (which is basically G on AO3) My one and only ff.net rec from my earliest days in the fandom when I was combing for absolutely any content I could find, begging the fandom to help me decide if I was down for Obiyuki and all that it implied and this author most assuredly delivered.

Favorite Minor Character

Undertow by @jhalya​ Rated E The fic itself is a space odyssey of sorts. One mission among many where humanity attempts to colonize Mars. However the real selling point here, if you didn’t know, is Lord Seiran. He is a delightfully eccentric billionaire who clearly always wanted a large family, judging from how easily he fills out the adoption paperwork.

WIP

Caulk dirty to me by @leewritingrecs​ Rated E Have I mentioned I love the sex worker trope? I. Love. The. Sex. Worker. Trope. Also Obi is clearly divine at all of his jobs. Shirayuki already got to experience his skills at one of them. I wait with BAITED BREATH for her to experience the other :3

Canon Compliant

Thicker than Blood by @infinitelystrangemachinex​ Rated G In the aftermath of the death of King Kain, Izana and Zen must decide on which path they will take moving forward. Amazing fic. Unfinished, but a wonderful look into the dynamics between the Wisteria brothers and their absent mother.

One-Shot

Worth his Weight in Rice by @claudeng80​ Rated T AU set in an Edo-adjacent Period where a disease has wiped killed off a significant portion of the male population. Resulting societal shifts occur. If you go into the comments, I have a couple of pages worth of reasons why I love this AU, but what I appreciate even more is how you have an absolutely perfect oneshot in this fic. It is a well-translated universe where we get a delightful clear, beginning, middle, and end, all in 5k. NOT an easy feat. Please enjoy.

Rare Pair

the fog pushing through my mind by @thelionshymnal​ Rated E Obi/Yuzuri, friends with benefits. Two pining idiots with some sore feelings decide to get stoned and take comfort in another warm body for the night. I just really enjoyed the casual intimacy of the encounter and how this is clearly neither of their first experiences with a one night stand. Neither of them are going to make it weird in the morning, they just need to take the edge off, ya know? Additional bonus for Obi being ready to stab the dumbasses who made Yuzuri feel like she was a weirdo in her past.

AU You Took a Chance On (And Now Love)

Lightning in a Bottle by @jhalya​ Rated M I mean, if Jules is gonna play dirty by making Obi the hot fish man running around without his shirt on 99% of the time, then of COURSE I’m going to enjoy Deep Blue Sea. It’s, like, one of my favorite movies now.

Favorite Trope

Moonshine Phantom by @leewritingrecs​ Rated T We got a murder muffin who ALSO used to be a sex worker? Sign me the fuck up, I am 1000% here for this. Also all the showgirls who clearly love their coworker and only want him and his adorable wife to have the best. They may have never heard of her before, but she looks sweet, and they all have a silent agreement between them that if she breaks his heart, they’ll cut her.

Fic That Gave You a New OTP

What the Heart Wants by @sabraeal​ Rated G Haruto/Mukaze. An attempted kidnapping and subsequent rescue makes Zen and Shirayuki painfully aware that their parents have had, at some point in their lives, sex. Izana may not be happy about someone banging his mom, but is HE rather pleased at having a new sister. >:3c

Pre-Canon

The Wolf in the Woods by @krispy-kream​ (YES I STILL HAVE THIS BOOKMARKED) Rated G Everyone knows that I have very delicate food feels and this ALMOST went under the Wept Real Tears category, but I like to spread out the crying as much as possible XD Shirayuki finds a boy at the edge of the wood and decides he needs something to eat. Filed under: Guaranteed to wreck me in 500 words or less.

[adowbaldwin]

Bed pan horror

for @sazmags and @butternuggets-blog - an expansion from the RP series ‘ therapy’ with @begins-with-an-absence-of-desire

December 1880

“So much for promises” Eva hissed, storming into Philippe’s office “you lickspittled, Hornswoggling ASS” she bellowed, eyes filling with fury as she caught sight of Baldwin in his father’s office.

She caught wind he was following orders from Philippe to intervene in matters in the Transvaal Rebellion.

“Wrangle your strumpet Baldwin” Philippe lifted his head from the map he was pinning pegs into “Or I will do it for you” he growled, eyeing her with as much hate as she did

“Bastard come near me and ill-“ her idle threat was cut short, when Baldwin grabbed her arm, pulling her from the office

“How dare you” he hissed “I gave you orders-“

His jaw snapped loudly, the crack delivered by her punch sending his face sidewards “ORDERS?” she bellowed, and Ysabeau winced from the decibels, and she was out in the gardening preening her Cheery Crocuses’. “I am not merely some solider you can order about I’m your PARTNER”

His head turned back, thunderous. He shoved her up against the wall, grabbing her chin with such force she thought it might snap “You can either behave or leave. I will speak of this matter later” he growled as she wriggled under his constraint “stop moving” he gritted out

She gawked her throat, retching back and spat in his face “I piss on our grave” she wriggled more, and his hand smashed her wrists to the wall, making a slight dent. He slipped his hand from her jaw to her neck and squeezed, not till she couldn’t breathe but enough that she understood no matter how much she tried, she wasn’t going to win.

She was feisty, and he liked the pain but there was nothing on this earth that would make her stronger then he was. He was almost 1300 years her senior, and despite her own history of fighting in wars her strength dwindled in comparison to his own.

Tears flooded her face “you lied to me” she sobbed, unable to look at him “you said you were finished fighting. you are supposed to be in finance”

“I will speak of this matter later” he hissed back quietly “do not disturb mans work again. Am I understood” he jolted her chin to look back at him, and he bit her lip drawing a little blood “Am I understood” he snarled

“Yes master” she hissed back with as much venom as a poisonous snake

He pushed away from the wall lightly, though his hands were still on her throat. He took this moment of passiveness to pull his lips to hers, running his tongue over where he had bitten into her. She went dizzy, eyes still burning from tears but she couldn’t help melting into him. He finally let her go, lips delightfully swollen and she sulked off to his tower awaiting for their argument after his meeting

                      He launched a book at his fathers head when he re entered the office, who was almost wetting himself from laughter “If you do not marry that one Baldwin you are a fool” he grinned at his sons dismay

“I shall not marry a dead woman” he snarled “she is unruly, no lady of a house a far too opinionated” he slumped heavily back into his chair, eyes running over the map of South Africa.

“Ah yes. But she does put a twitch in your pants no” he grinned, as another book went flying. He dodged this one, launching it back towards his son “You accept your fate that you would not settle for a meek flower, and we can move on”

They resumed their talks, though Baldwins mind wondered back to the little temptress currently fuming in his towers.

----------------------------------------------------------------

He found her taking quill to paper at her desk in his room, writing notes to her mother. He came behind her and planted a kiss to her head “I leave tomorrow morning” he whispered, knowing she would be displeased

“Yes Sir, would you like me to bend over now sir” she hissed, the quill snapping as she exerted too much pressure. She didn’t turn to face him, face ridden with fury

“Eva” he cooed “Don’t be angry with me, it shall only be a few short months” his hands smoothed over her sleeves, inching his way closer to her bodice.

“Yes sir, would you like me to spit and shine your shoes before you go?” her voice levelled into what she imagine a ‘good housewife’ would sound, to please his majesty whom clearly seeks the palatable lady

“we both know you have enough spit to go around” he growled “do you wish I leave without a goodbye” he was not intending on it, he was good at worming his way into her good books.

She folded her envelope, turning in her chair sideways to face him. They were nose to nose, and she lifted the envelope up to her mouth, darting her tongue out to lick the seal. Envelopes were still a rare commodity, especially those with the odd gum tacked to the seal but she took full advantage of the many perks it was to be in relations with a De Clermont. They always had the shiniest toys first.

He growled, a feral noise erupting from his throat as she licked the paper “Eva do not bate me”

She bit her lip slowly letting it fall from her mouth. She moved an inch, so she was straddling the chair facing him, leaning against the leather. She kept her eyes on him as she picked her bodice open, the hook eyes popping as she did “I lay on my back now, like a good lady to please her Lord” he words dripped with venom and condescension

He growled, nostrils starting to flare “For God sake Eva, I can’t refuse my father” he all but yelled “I have my orders”

She deadpanned him “so do I” her last button popped and his patience faltered  when she shimmied out of her skirts, leaving her clad in only a thin chemise and stays.

He grabbed her chin again, this time exerting so much force her jaw cracked under the pressure. She reared her head back, hand covering her mouth at the moment of searing pain that coursed through her body. He was absolutely mortified. He had never, and would never hurt her in a way she didn’t like. She was one for abit of roughness as he was, delighting in a good spanking but never that.

He paled, as much as he could for a vampire and dropped to his knees and actually kissed her feet “im so sorry Eva” he whispered

It took a moment for her vampire DNA to work the crack, mending whatever had snapped and she looked down to meet his horrified gaze. She was as much in shock as he was, and she was not thinking clearly.

She was a warrior like he had been, not having fought in as many battles, but never the less still a solider at heart. Her hand that was flat on the desk moved to grab her knife, and she clutched it between her fingers. A loud swoosh echoed the room as she battered him up side his head with the flat blunt of her knife.

Only it wasn’t her knife, it was the still warm bedpan that had been propped against the wall from the mornings linen change.

He thumped to the floor as soon as the connection was made, dazed and seeing stars. All he faintly heard was someone screaming for cold compress.

                       He woke up groggy, eye in slight pain. He remembered taking a good hit, and also remembered why. He peeped open his eyes to see Eva sat staring down at him on the bed and she was sniffling lightly. He reached up, wiping away her falling tears “Don’t cry doll, the blood will react with all the mercury on your face”

She tried to laugh but she couldn’t, her lip blubbered as she muttered a flurry of apologies “I didn’t mean – I thought it was my knife”

He pulled her down, and she curled ontop of his body “it is already forgiven, doll” his lips planted fluttered kisses along her head and she calmed

She peered up at him, with the most innocent doe eyed expression she could muster “However will I make it up to you, in the next six hours before you leave me”

He groaned, feeling her hips move to be flush with his own “Eva I have to leave, they need a commander not more soldiers. If it were bodies they needed, Matthew would be sent. Philippe needs someone to navigate both sides of the war”

She knew, she already knew. He would not disavow anything Philippe said. He could ask him to change his name to Nancy and he would “I know, you are following orders” her lips sought his, savouring his taste and the overwhelming scent of sandal leather and woodfire.

His hands crept up under her petticoats, the many layers ruffling as he did so. His hands found her sweet spot and he moaned into her mouth “no knee length draws today, doll?” he questioned, circling her in ways that made her toes curl

She bit her lip, groaning as he teased her “Are you going to please me properly” she shimmied her weight, flicking the covers from his body “or are you going to talk me to sleep”

He pinched her, jolting her alert “perhaps I am too dazed to love on you properly doll. Whom lies fault with that?”

She lifted herself out of her petticoats, hiking up her chemise. Her hands sought to free himself from his trousers, pinging his braces from his shoulders. He sprang free, ready as ever and she happily sunk onto him “then allow me” she moaned as they connected deeply for the last time they would in four long months till he returned home form the Boar War.

[bastardtetsu]

haikyuu + musical theatre boys pt2

>> PART 1 <<

nobody asked for it but here it is: more MT boy brainrot from your resident theatre school veteran :) | starring: hinata, tanaka, noya, yaku, terushima

tw swearing & more musical theatre bs

HINATA [tenor] such a star omfg his energy & expressiveness!!! not quite a dancer dancer but a VERY strong mover who picks up choreo & technique super fast! also REALLY good at tap, omfg, he just gets it in his body lightning fast. his singing & acting could use work, but like i said he’s a fast learner and his high energy & readiness to commit serves him so well! his main downfall in casting is that he is baby, and gets typed out a lot bc of his height and lack of experience. but we all know hinata doesn’t know the meaning of “give up,” which is a requirement of survival for MTs (!!) so he does just fine

jojo in seussical, tobias in sweeney todd, michael in billy elliot (would be an amazing billy too if he had better technique), literally any newsie

TANAKA [baritenor] king of rap, character acting, & dancing - mainly hiphop/breakdancing & tumbling, please do not ask him to do ballet. singing isn’t his top export and he’s kinda insecure about it, but you’d be surprised at how much this man can turn the house with the vocals okay?? he’s such a fuckin’ character irl though, the energy he brings to the stage is best described as delightfully feral. and BOY can he move, flip, spin, everything, he is the king of tricks (you know he’s always showing off - insists on ripping his shirt off every time too)

mulligan/madison in hamilton, benny in in the heights, tunny in american idiot, grandmaster chad in legally blonde, a wickersham in seussical, gangster in drowsy chaperone (specifically with noya can u IMAGINE), literally anything where they need a shirtless man to do backflips

NOYA [tenor] another rap king but he will also give u that smooth r&b tenor sound~ trina as fuck when it comes to literally any style of dance - tap, ballet, partnering, you name it - plus any tricks & tumbling u can think of. it’s because he played billy elliot as a child and got mad training super young. he specializes in tumbling, but also has always been very good at turns. we’re talking fouettés until YOU get dizzy watching him and beg him to stop. height requirements are a bitch to him sometimes casting-wise, but he still books bc his credits & abilities speak for themselves

sonny in in the heights, pepper in mama mia, literally billy elliot, literally any newsie, a wickersham in seussical, gangster in drowsy chaperone (specifically with tanaka)

YAKU [tenor] TAP GOD. generally trina as fuck, especially with jazz & ballet too. also was a billy elliot as a child so he got that training (remember when he literally grand jetéd over that barricade to receive the ball in the ova?? yea this is canon for me) pretty much always books dancer tracks bc he is That Bitch, but that will not stop him from delivering powerful vocals and bold character choices when you need him to. this boy is a TRIPLE THREAT and do not ever forget it. he makes an amazing swing too, dance ensemble tracks are his bread & butter so you need him to learn 4 of them for one show? cool, he’s ready to go. i would also like to reiterate once again that he is a TAP. GOD. this is very important to me. also do not bring up auditions with height minimums to him

cosmo in singin in the rain, chip in on the town, mike in a chorus line, any newsie, basically any dance ensemble track or smol dancer man type characters

TERUSHIMA [pop/rock tenor] i h8 this mother fucker (no i don’t who am i kidding) but he would book like crazy. only in the more contemporary stuff though since he committed to the edgy vibe with the tongue piercing/bleached hair/his personality lmao. his acting is so-so, but he has the charisma & stage presence to give a solid performance, and his dancing is suprisingly good - i’d classify him as a strong mover. HIS VOCALS are sick though, loves to show off that high rock belt as much as he can (it’d be more obnoxious if he didn’t sound so damn good). also plays guitar and brings it to every audition no matter what it is, just to flex. he’s not even THAT good, but he can play cowboy chords and certain songs if he practices. he’s also the resident horny boy of every cast he’s in, obviously. it does get messy and occasionally weird, like when he hooked up with the girl playing his character’s mom on opening night & had to deal with the awkward oedipal energy for the entire run of the show

johnny in american idiot, gabe in next to normal, dolokhov in great comet (he could play anatole but he doesn’t quite have that C#5 :/), basically any role where he gets to be a glorified rockstar

[writingesgaypism]

guess who’s back on their bullshit, writing COG fanfic instead of working on their finals? i come bearing soft, mildly awkward sangarinus content for @diasporatheblog‘s lovely game, which has been my hyperfixation for the past *checks watch* three months or so. enjoy, and do go check out diaspora if you haven’t already!

---

It hasn’t happened every night, but Fionn finds Sangarinus awake long after the others have bedded down more often than not. They aren’t sleeping too well these days either, although their reasons likely aren’t the same. He usually finds someplace where he doesn’t think he’ll disturb anyone to keep his vigil. Perhaps if they were less stubborn or less practiced in hunting him down it would make it difficult for them to join him on the nights that they find themself inexplicably awake. Certainly it would make their efforts pointless if the man himself was hostile to their plans. But he isn’t.

He acknowledges their arrival with a slight incline of his head so they don’t bother to further announce themself, and instead directly take a seat on the sand next to him. The storm rages, ever-present before them, but unlike the first time they found him out here, Sangarinus doesn’t seem to be focusing on it. He’s got his knife out and is in the process of stripping a branch of its bark.

It makes them think of the small wooden fox back at camp, which in turn makes them smile.

“I think mine needs a name,” they say after a moment.

Sangarinus glances at them, brow furrowed, and they nod at the wood in his hands. His confusion doesn’t entirely abate, but they can tell that it’s shifted focus from their meaning to their reasoning by the way he huffs through his nose, short and somewhat disbelieving.

“It’s got such a cute little face,” they continue, “I can’t help but think it deserves a name. It’s got personality.”

“Are you sure you aren’t seeing things?”

The question is delivered with the barest of inflections, dry but not meant to actually insult. Still, it makes them think of the valravn. He hadn’t been there for that particular nightmare, but something about their expression must tip him off because his hands still and he sits up straighter.

“I apologize, I didn’t -”

Fionn waves a hand, one corner of their mouth tugging up inexorably. “When it comes down to it, I’d rather be mistakenly assigning people traits to a carved fox than fighting a figure out of my people’s folklore to the death.”

He keeps searching their face, perhaps trying to discern whether they’re really okay or if they’re deflecting. They are deflecting, just a little, but they’re certain it won’t show in their expression. If anything, Sangarinus’s attention only makes their smile grow, blooming like a flower under the sun. He glances back to his busywork eventually and they don’t think they’re imagining the red tint to his ears, even in the moonlight.

He clears his throat. “Do you have any in mind? Names, that is.”

They draw in a deep breath and hold it for a moment before expelling it in a rush of air. “Ruadhán, maybe.”

He nods once, thoughtfully.

“And for the record, I really do think it has personality. It looks like it’s plotting how to steal my breakfast right from under my nose. I’d love to see your process sometime, if you don’t mind.” They glance at him sideways, smirking. “I don’t think I’ll be able to believe it’s humanly possible to whittle such fine details until I see it with my own eyes.”

As they expected, a flush is starting to spread across his face. It was difficult to be sure earlier, but it’s deep enough now that there’s no mistaking it. “I - It is not… an interesting process to watch. But I… would not mind.”

Fionn tilts their head to watch him more directly as they let their smirk ease into something fond. Having all of Sangarinus’s attention on them always seems to have the effect of energizing them, like as long as he’s watching they’re unbeatable. It’s hard to say exactly what the reverse does to him. If they have to guess, they’d wager it… gives him pause somehow. Whether to take it in or just to figure out what exactly they’re doing is beyond their ability to discern. At the very least it doesn’t seem to bother him most of the time. Whatever the answer, he seems to soften after a moment. Which is, of course, their cue to stir things up.

“You’d be surprised what I might be willing to watch you do,” they say casually.

Truthfully, their meaning is fairly innocent. They like watching him move: the economy of his motions, the thought put into everything he does. Fionn is just as content watching him spar with their mother as they are watching him read a book or learn a new sailor’s knot. But they also know the statement could be interpreted another way, and the way they’re looking at him with half-lidded eyes can only push his assumptions toward the second connotation.

He turns his attention to the knife and stick in his hands suddenly and with great intensity, shaving away strips of wood even though there isn’t any bark left. Somehow, his flush manages to deepen.

Fionn laughs, not unkindly. “Sorry, was that too much?”

“You are -” He stops and sighs. It doesn’t seem to be directed at them. “I will tell you if it’s ever too much.”

“I appreciate that, but I’d also like to do my part to avoid crossing that line to begin with.”

“It’s appreciated,” he says softly, echoing their sentiment. “In some ways, you are - It’s easier to talk to you than others, most of the time. The rest of the time… The fault is mine.”

For a moment it seems as though he’ll say more, but instead he falls silent and leaves it at that. His motions with the knife are more deliberate now, though the redness lingers to some extent.

They pull one leg up and prop their chin on their knee. “You know, you do have delightfully broad shoulders, Sangarinus, but you don’t need to carry every burden on your own. It takes at least two people to have a conversation. And maybe one of those people takes a particular joy in teasing the other person, and maybe that other person doesn’t always know how to react. I’m not so sure it’s the fault of the latter that the former has no self-control.”

“I think we may be at an impasse regarding what one can reasonably expect from a conversation partner,” he says dryly.

“I wonder what you think I expect from you,” they reply, but nevertheless they smile and relent with a flick of their fingers. If their luck holds up there will be plenty of other days to have this debate. “…I was being serious about watching you carve, though.”

His smile is barely there, but it’s warm. “I know.”

Fionn lets the silence fall and stretch this time. As a rule, they don’t often slow down enough to really relax. It’s a habit born partially out of necessity and partially due to their own nature. They can never quite seem to put their finger on what it is about Sangarinus that settles them like this, but there’s something about his presence that feels… safe. Steady. Like putting your boots on solid land after a month at sea; it’s odd at first, missing all the rolling disturbances, but there’s an unmistakable relief, too, that you’ve made it home again in one piece. Whatever the root cause, they can’t stop the feeling of tranquility that creeps up on them as they sit with him, or the drowsiness that follows.

It returns with them to camp when they decide to try sleeping again and stays with them until they finally drift off.

[obtusemedia]

The best songs of the 2010s: #100-76

Happy 2020! Now that the previous decade has finally finished, it’s time to commemorate the 2010s. The decade in which I grew from an awkward teen to an awkward adult. And a decade with a ton of great music. Let’s dive right in: these are my 100 favorite songs of the 2010s.

#100: “Monopoly” by Danny Brown (2011)

Danny Brown is so delightfully grimy. He’s like a cartoon sewer rat come to life, rapping about pills and making hilariously crude jokes. In an anti-drug PSA, he’d be the sketchy weirdo trying to get a kid hooked on bath salts or whatever. And for a quick shot of his non-replicable style, it’s hard to do better than “Monopoly.”

Rapping over a glitchy, menacing beat with his trademark squawk, Brown lands oddball punchline after oddball punchline. In a span of less than 3 minutes, he threatens to defecate on your tape (and he has to clarify that too — “No, literally, shit all on your mixtape”), compares himself to Ferris Bueller sipping wine coolers and then closes his track by describing a woman’s vagina as “smellin’ like cool ranch Doritos.” And that last insult is the perfect distillation of Brown: the Adult Swim of rap. But much smarter than that would imply.

#99: “Shutdown” by Skepta (2015)

At the 2015 BRIT Awards, Kanye West performed “All Day” with a massive crowd of grime artists on stage, all in black, with flamethrowers shooting fire into the sky. 

Four days after the performance, Skepta — one of the artists on stage with Kanye — released “Shutdown.” It’s a much more fitting song for the intimidating, energized and proudly British crowd of MCs than a middling Kanye non-album cut.

“Shutdown” is the kind of song a rapper releases when they’re at the peak of their powers. Skepta was absolutely at that point in 2015, and so his finest single sounds like a coronation. His gruff delivery isn’t too loud, but it’s firm and confident. He knew he was the best MC in Britain, and “Shutdown” cemented that status.

#98: “Amor Fati” by Washed Out (2011)

Washed Out was one of the brightest voices in the turn-of-the-decade chillwave movement, and with cuts like “Amor Fati,” it’s not hard to see why. 

The big single off his debut, “Amor Fati” gives you a similar sensation as taking a shower: Pure bliss and warmth cascade around you. It’s a bit repetitive, but the song is clearly meant to set a mood more than anything else, so that’s excusable. If you need an entry point into chillwave, you can’t do much better than this.

#97: “Los Ageless” by St. Vincent (2017)

St. Vincent’s trajectory this decade took her from an art-pop weirdo who collaborates with David Byrne to a more mainstream art-pop weirdo who collaborates with Taylor Swift. But in that process, Annie Clark was able to pull her sharpest hooks out and put them in use in deceptively dark songs like “Los Ageless.”

With its sleek new wave production from Jack Antonoff, “Los Ageless” could’ve easily fit on most pop records. But Clark’s atonal, shrill guitar bursts and increasingly disturbing lyrics differentiate it. The song’s themes gradually shift from “lol Los Angeles is fake and plastic” to something more tragic. The desperate (in a good way) chorus says it all: “How could anybody have you and lose you/And not lose their minds too?”

#96: “I Like It” by Enrique Iglesias feat. Pitbull (2010)

I’m aware how ridiculous putting “I Like It” — a disposable, trashy club pop hit most people might not remember — on this list. Admitting I that I love this song probably guarantees that I’ll never get a job at Pitchfork.

But then those fuzzy, cheap synths come crashing in. And Enrique Iglesias sings his sleazy come-ons in an auto-tune slurry. And Pitbull delivers a gloriously ridiculous, very-2010 verse that references both the Tiger Woods cheating scandal AND the Obamas (along with gratuitous Spanish and a Miami shoutout). And then there’s the final touch: a prominent sample of Lionel Richie’s cheeseball classic “All Night Long.” It’s too much to resist.

What can I say? “I Like It” hits all the pleasure centers (including nostalgia, seeing as it came out in the middle of my high school tenure) in my brain. It’s a beautifully stupid, hedonistic highlight of the 2009-12 pop golden age.

#95: “The Wire” by HAIM (2013)

Retro-pop standard bearers HAIM had plenty of great singles this decade. But one of their first, the groovy breakup anthem “The Wire,” is still their best.

Unlike many most breakup anthems, which tend to be wildly emotional, “The Wire” is matter-of-fact. The relationship simply isn’t working, and it’s time to end it. That’s that. You’re going to be okay.

The verging-on-curt lyrics mixed with the Haim sisters’ groovy early ‘80s rhythm makes for a pop jam that’s perfect for any “It’s not you, it’s me” moment in your life.

#94: “Helena Beat” by Foster The People (2011)

I know they represent the mainstream selling-out moment of the magical late-’00s MGMT/Passion Pit/Phoenix moment, but I have a soft spot for Foster The People. Their debut album, Torches, might not have much indie cred, but it’s all-killer-no-filler and stuffed with monster hooks. And despite “Pumped Up Kicks” being the big hit, I’ve always preferred the album’s opening track, “Helena Beat.”

With its shuffling disco beat and Mark Foster’s piercing falsetto, “Helena Beat” is likely about as close as alt-rock ever got to the Bee Gees. The lyrics, which tackle addiction, are much darker than “Staying Alive,” but it’s got a similar sense of propulsion.

And let’s not forget — Foster wrote jingles before starting a band, so he can get melodies stuck in your head. And once you’ve heard “Helena Beat,” good luck getting it unstuck.

#93: “Redbone” by Childish Gambino (2016)

“Redbone” might be the smoothest R&B cut on this list. Which is why the song’s sense of dread and paranoia makes it stand out. 

Donald Glover’s scratchy, passionate falsetto isn’t conventionally pretty, but it works well while singing about some unknown boogieman who’s “creeping.” That’s why “Redbone” was a perfect fit for Get Out, because of its lurking dread underneath the comfortable exterior. This is the song that cemented Glover as being a true renaissance man, rather than an actor with a weird musical side project.

(of course, this still isn’t Glover’s greatest musical contribution — that would be the iconic “Troy and Abed in the Morning” jingle. Especially the night variant.)

#92: “Do You” by Spoon (2014)

Spoon has been America’s most consistently great rock band for the past two decade now. Even calling them “consistent” is practically a cliché.

So all you need to know about “Do You” is that it’s another solid Spoon song in a vast catalog of Spoon songs. Lead singer Britt Daniel is still effortlessly cool, the guitar-driven groove is simple and it all goes down easy. By 2014, Spoon had nothing left to prove, except how long they could keep up their streak.

#91: “I’m Not Part of Me” by Cloud Nothings (2014)

Cloud Nothings’ finest moment is four and a half minutes of pure angst and crunchy guitars. Squint hard enough, and “I’m Not Part of Me” is one of the closest approximations to ‘90s alt-rock. And while the Ohio band isn’t necessarily reinventing the wheel here, refining what made past music so great can be just as effective.

#90: “Hello” by Adele (2015)

Despite only releasing two albums this decade, Adele casts a major shadow over the 2010s. Although I find both those records to be a little on the bland side, there’s a reason she was/is a juggernaut. And the example of her prowess is “Hello.”

“Hello” has everything you’d want in an Adele song: It’s about not getting over a breakup, a very relatable topic, and Adele gets to show off her cannon of a voice. But it also has a secret weapon compared to other Adele ballads: ‘80s power-ballad production! The bombastic chorus has more in common with Heart’s “Alone” than any of Adele’s previous hits, and it’s a perfect accompaniment to one of the decade’s most melodramatic singles.

#89: “Slumlord” by Neon Indian (2015)

Despite putting out two essentially perfect albums this decade, Neon Indian’s mastermind, Alan Palomo, doesn’t really have that one mind-melting single. Yes, “Polish Girl” was a decent-sized indie hit, but it’s nowhere near his best.

But “Slumlord” comes damn close to perfection. It’s not quite as heavy on the melted-VCR aesthetic of other songs on Palomo’s best album, Vega INTL. Night School, but it makes up for that with an irrepressible ‘80s techno groove. “Slumlord” is one of those songs that could ride its beat forever — and it kind of does, with the “Slumlord’s Re-lease” coda following it on the album. It’s a nocturnal synthpop jam that even those allergic to keyboards couldn’t resist.

#88: “The Bay” by Metronomy (2011)

While most synth-weilding indie acts were trying to ape MGMT’s high-pitched fever dreams in the early ‘10s, Metronomy decided on a different, sleeker path with their 2011 album The English Riviera. That album’s best single, “The Bay,” is an immaculate blend of silky smooth yacht rock and nervy, tense new wave. Those two opposite styles shouldn’t work together, but Metronomy managed to pull it off regardless, creating the perfect beach anthem for awkward hipster Brits.

#87: “bad guy” by Billie Eilish (2019)

I expect the 17-year-old Eilish will likely be remembered more as an icon of the 2020s than the 2010s, as she has a long and promising career ahead of her. It’s like how Lady Gaga is much more of a figure of this decade, despite her earliest hits arriving in 2009. But “bad guy” — the kind of left-field, innovative pop single that signals a new era — came out in 2019. And it’s too damn weird, catchy and just plain fun to leave off this list.

#86: “Latch” by Disclosure feat. Sam Smith (2012)

It’s a bummer that Sam Smith turned out to be such a bore, because “Latch” — his introduction to the world — is pure electricity. 

Smith and fellow Brits Disclosure, who provide the pulsating, sensual production, were a dream team on “Latch.” All Disclosure needed to do was give Smith plenty of room to unleash his golden pipes, complete with a few futuristic touches. Smith delivered on his end, proving his worth as one of the best vocalists for conveying drama on the dancefloor.

#85: “Need You Now” by Cut Copy (2011)

No, it’s not a cover of the Lady Antebellum hit of the same name. 

There were plenty of ‘80s-inspired epic synthpop bangers this decade; some groups made their entire careers off of them. But what sets Cut Copy’s “Need You Now” above the rest is its sense of patience. It’s an incredibly slow burner, building the tension with a thumping beat and calm vocals until it all explodes with a dazzling climax nearly 5 minutes in. Af that moment, the Aussies fulfill their promise with a euphoric release of synths and thundering drums. 

It’s not a complicated concept for a song, but Cut Copy executed it perfectly.

#84: “The Mother We Share” by CHVRCHES (2013)

Glasgow new wave trio CHVRCHES never really lived up to their promising 2013 debut album, which opened with the anthemic “The Mother We Share.” But man, what a way to start a career.

"The Mother We Share” is all icy synths and furious drum machines, the sounds bouncing off each other like a hall of mirrors. And lead singer Lauren Mayberry’s quiet but confident vocals add the necessary human touch, conveying a tragic feel to the song’s triumphant chorus.

#83: “Night Shift” by Lucy Dacus (2018)

One of the most ferocious, biting breakup songs of the decade, “Night Shift” is a showcase for Lucy Dacus’ vivid storytelling. The Virginia singer-songwriter spends the first half the song setting the scene of a crappy ex trying to halfway make amends, while Dacus’ character holds herself back from lashing out. She saves the visceral emotion for the second half, when the grungy guitars kick in and Dacus lets out a wounded howl, proudly stating that “I’ll never see you again/If I can help it.” “Night Shift” is a tour de force of indie rock songwriting that rewards patience.

#82: “Round and Round” by Ariel Pink (2010)

Much of indie-rock trickster Ariel Pink is a little too jokey and off-putting for my taste. But on his defining single “Round and Round,” he sprinkled in just the right touch of weirdness into a song that otherwise could’ve been a massive easy-listening hit in 1980.

The quirks throughout “Round and Round” — the woozy, off-kilter production, the lyrics that seemingly make no sense, Pink answering his phone in the middle of the song — are enjoyable. But the song’s true strength is in its chorus: a sudden punch of roller-disco AM-lite harmonies that cut through all the song’s oddities. It’s a double-shot of warmth and nostalgic beauty that feels comfortingly familiar, yet still thrilling.

Pink seemed to know the chorus was the key to “Round and Round,” as he makes the listener wait nearly two minutes for it. But its inevitable release is a truly magical moment.

#81: “4th of July, Philadelphia (SANDY)” by Cymbals Eat Guitars (2016)

Heavily referencing an early Bruce Springsteen classic in the title of a song that sounds nothing like Springsteen is quite the flex. But New Jersey indie-rockers Cymbals Eat Guitars pulled it off regardless.

“4th of July” is a clanging, anthemic scuzz-rock track about going through an existential crisis in the middle of Independence Day. While everyone else is making plans for the holiday, lead singer and guitarist Joseph D’Agostino is howling away, “HOW MANY UNIVERSES AM I ALIVE AND DEAD IN?!?” It’s one of the hardest-rocking mental breakdowns put on record this decade.

#80: “I Like It” by Cardi B, Bad Bunny and J Balvin (2018)

Rapping over extremely-obvious samples has been a time-honored tradition in hip-hop, from the Beastie Boys trading verses over The Beatles to Puff Daddy jacking the chorus from one ‘80s hit and the beat from another in the same song.

But Cardi B, and reggaeton superstars Bad Bunny and J Balvin sampling the boogaloo classic “I Like It Like That” was an inspired choice. The trio’s verses are all delicious fun, whether they’re bragging about eating halal in a Lamborghini or referencing a classic Lady Gaga hit.

But that sample, combined with a trap beat and Cardi’s swaggering charisma powering the chorus, is what makes “I Like It” a classic.

#79: “Sign of the Times” by Harry Styles (2017)

Most former boy band members aim for a grown-and-sexy pop anthem once they go solo, whether its Jordan Knight, Justin Timberlake or Zayn Malik. But the standout member of the 2010s’ standout boy band, Harry Styles, chose took a sharp left turn into melodramatic classic rock instead. And it was a brilliant decision.

"Sign of the Times” is about as close to a classic Beatles or Queen power ballad we got this decade, with its clanging Western guitars, lush strings and thundering drum fills. Styles doesn’t have Freddie Mercury’s gravity-defying vocals, but his immense charisma powers the song anyways. It’s not 100% clear what “Sign of the Times” is about, but with its cinematic scope and cryptic lyrics, it’s likely about the apocalypse. And there’s not many superior songs to cry to while the bombs fall.

#78: “Dancing On My Own” by Robyn (2010)

The ultimate crying-on-the-dancefloor anthem, “Dancing On My Own” has already become a standard.

But Swedish alt-pop icon Robyn’s combination of icy synths and heartbroken, jealous lyrics can’t be replicated. Just ask Calum Scott, who slowed down the track into mushy, piano-ballad goop. Yikes.

What makes “Dancing On My Own” brilliant is its resiliency. It’s not a mopey song — Robyn is defiantly still grooving despite her crushed feelings. It’s a siren call for all those who have been hurt and know the only proper way to work out their emotions through cathartic dancing.

#77: “Trap Queen” by Fetty Wap (2015)

“Trap Queen” is an incredibly fun hip-hop banger, but I don’t think I can extoll its virtues quite as well as Fetty Wap’s hype man at the end of the track. So I’ll let him speak:

“YOU HEAR MY BOY SOUNDIN’ LIKE A ZILLION BUCKS ON THE TRACK?! I GOT WHATEVER ON MY BOY!!”

Amen. It’s a real shame Fetty wasn’t able to keep his momentum rolling past a big 2015, but at least we’ll always have the magic dying-walrus energy of “Trap Queen.” HEY WHAT’S UP HELLOOOOO

#75: “R U Mine?” by Arctic Monkeys (2012)

"R U Mine?” offers Arctic Monkeys fans the best of both worlds. On one hand, you have their AM-era slinky swagger. But it also retains the furious rock-n-roll energy of their early days.

Alex Turner sounds like a smooth-talkin’ cowboy here, but the music is anything but smooth. It hits like a semi-truck, with a calvary-charge guitar riff and so many thunderous drum fills you’d think you were listening to the E Street Band.

[amwritingmeta]

13x14: Commander Cas and Dean the Foot Soldier

I know this sounds like the title of a delightfully smutty sub/dom piece of fan fiction, but it really isn’t. (sorry) (or maybe it is!) (no infringement intended)

So, I wrote a bit about Cas quite possibly being set up for self-liberation this season by already being shown to have severed his ties to Heaven.

To boil it down: what I took from 13x14 is that he’s being shown to instead have begun to serve Man, aka humanity. The fact that we’ve seen him be disillusioned by and actively rejecting Heaven throughout the season naturally serves to underline this for us. I mean -->

Let me be perfectly clear and immediately tell you I don’t see this shift of servitude - moving from Heaven to humanity - as a positive one at this moment, not how I read that final scene of 13x14, because Cas is absolutely still being governed by his grace into this narrow-minded duty bound Mission Mode he’s on. “The only thing that matters” and all that.

He is still failing in breaking free and asking himself what he wants, rather than doing what he believes is needed of him.

Now, here’s the thing, Cas has been self-assured since he came back. 

For example, the act of getting himself out of the Empty clearly filled him with confidence. He’s found his way back to himself without the depression, but he still has quite a ways to go to prevent himself ending right back in the position that brought on that depression in the first place: a lack of sense of identity.

And what is he doing in 13x14? He is (by necessity) revisiting well-trodden ground to, hopefully, learn the lesson once and for all and truly face what it is that keeps holding him back, keeps messing him up. 

He’s come back with a sense of self, for sure. I mean, he’s not happy that Dean is so happy in 13x06. In fact, he’s frowning up a storm, clearly not exactly pleased that they go on a joyride case right after he’s come back from the dead, not understanding what Dean’s happiness is actually all about, not getting for a second that Dean was broken and it’s his return that’s healed Dean right up. (totally my reading btw - not official real meta)

But it makes sense, right? By 13x13, Cas is so fucking fed up with being taken for granted. With having his strings pulled, if you will, just like he was in S11, where he expressed his anger at his lack of control, not understanding that this lack of control is directly fucking linked to that one thing he actually believes GIVES him control: his damn grace. 

(I am sorry) (I am just not anywhere a fan of that grace anymore) (it is toxic) 

In 13x12 he begins to take action, and he takes it for himself, right? He got himself out of the cage in the Asylum by pissing Lucifer off. Then he got himself back to the brothers in 13x13, learning they never even suspected something had happened to him. I would think that with all the shit going down Cas can’t quite help but move from this attitude of his -->

into this other one -->

I mean -->

Oh yeah. Because 13x14 is so much about lining him up alongside Lucifer that it kind of explodes my mind.

Why?

Because what is one of Cas’ deepest fears, informative of so much of his behaviour, even though he continuously beats against it because his internal need (to be human) is much, much greater than this fear, so much so that his individual arc is pushing him to conquer it?

One of his deepest fears is that severing his ties with Heaven means that he will automatically turn evil.

Consciously and logically he should know this isn’t what will happen to him.

But Lucifer being cast down from Heaven, all the evil Lucifer represents, all the evil Lucifer has done, infects Cas’ choices with the fear that if he chooses a path even remotely similar, it will lead to only one single destination, which means hating and hurting humanity.

It’s an internal obstacle so huge that it’s almost insurmountable.

As long as Cas, subconsciously, remains believing it’s the truth.

And this belief is exactly why the narrative would ever line him up alongside this fear and practically tell us he’s actually becoming what he dreads the most.

Because the reason he’s becoming what he dreads most is due to?

Well, his choices this episode are framed around the fact (if my reading is right) that he believes himself to be acting for the good of humanity now, right? So when an order comes from humanity, well, then that makes that order just, right? Yes, that’s right, because Cas isn’t following his own innate humanity here, he is following Dean “humanity” Winchester’s “order” of whatever it takes. 

He is taking Dean’s words and fitting that order to his own line of thinking BECAUSE HE STILL HAS HIS GRACE.

We’ve seen him do this with Heaven’s orders as well, because he was unable to justify him choosing Sam and Dean again and again any other way than if that choice was directly linked to his orders from Heaven, which he interpreted as being the same as him being put on Earth in order to protect the Winchesters. This self-deception was put an and to by Hester at the end of S7.

Why is he doing it now? Because he knows now that he wants to belong on Earth, he’s come as far as to not kid himself anymore about this, but he’s still making up excuses for why exactly that is. Of course he wants to protect Jack, but Jack has become yet another tool of self-deception. A mission to justify every choice Cas is making is in order to protect and not because he deep down wants to let go of the old and begin anew.

Now, mirroring him with Lucifer the way that they are clearly doing in this episode tells me that what Cas is doing now, and this path he is choosing, is not the right way, is not the better way. 

He is acting as the solider out of this life-long dread of what it would mean for him to not be the soldier.

He is acting out of fear.

Moreover, he is serving humanity, he is making choices believing himself acting for the good of humanity, but he is still guided by his belief that he is needed, first and foremost, as the weapon. 

And, to me, what the narrative is saying is that he will never find the right way, the better way, if he holds onto his grace.

His GRACE will be his downfall, keeping him chained to duty and old fears and blinding ideals.

All of this said, I want to also look at what’s good here. What gives me a lot of faith that, of course, he’s being setup for the narrative to teach him one big lesson and, hopefully, it’s for the final time.

Because by the end of the episode he has stepped into the role of captain, of commander. 

He is stating what is the only way they can win, the only way they can survive, and he is shown to (believe himself to) be in complete control of the situation. He’s even explaining his actions away, and does a good job of it, because he has to, since Dean questions those actions with something as simple as -->

It’s so very significant, that What’s wrong with you?, mostly because I’m hoping it will work at the back of Cas’ head so that he actually starts asking himself that at some point.

Because that question isn't twistable into humanity needing protection, like the other significant thing Dean said to him this episode was: whatever it takes.  This What’s wrong with you? is wholly delivered by Dean to Cas, a personal query, concerned and worried.

The intriguing thing, to me, about this final scene, however, is how forceful Cas is, how self-assured he is that he’s right, and how he ultimately convinces Dean of it. We see Dean be won over, and in 14x15 he is absolutely on board with this plan of Cas’ being the right one.

It’s so good - and it’s SO BAD.

Because Cas isn’t meant to lead them - to my mind, Sam is meant to be the leader figure in TFW. And I’m sure I’m far from alone in thinking that!

(13x15 hammered this home even more and I’m squealing) (squealing I tell you!!)

It’s true that Cas isn’t a born follower. He’s never quite felt like he fit in Heaven, right? He’s “never done what he’s told”, meaning he’s questioned orders, and subconsciously questioned his place, for a very long time. And he commanded his own flight of angels in Heaven, but they were always acting under someone else’s orders. He has leadership in him, especially once he’s balanced out, I’ve no doubt of that, but I feel he never really wanted or truly desired the weight of the leadership cape on his shoulders. He put it on out of necessity. 

My take is that he would make a good team member, because we know he’ll question an order if he disagrees with it, and a team dynamic needs people who think for themselves as much as they can adhere to someone else’s leadership, but he’s not meant to try and see the bigger picture all on his own, especially not while that grace of his is blocking him off from his humanity.

But Dean nodding his head in agreement, ready to follow Cas’ lead in this, not to mention their previous exchange of --> 

Dean: What exactly gives you the right?  Cas: Nothing. I took it. 

--> sends such S6 echoes my way I barely know where to look:

And all the heartbreak and pain and grief and horror that followed on the miscommunications of this season, based in this need to carry all the weight on ones own two shoulders.

And it makes me immediately think of how this defining 6x20 exchange, coming off the back of one messed up season filled with mistrust and suspicion and half-truths, bye the end of S9 is tied back to, when Dean watches an angel kill himself with an angel blade, declaring he’s doing it for Castiel, who is now the chosen commander of his own army of angels. (and let’s note how Dean is absolutely not able to look at Cas as a commander in any way, shape or form)

Dean: Cas, I know you try to be a good guy, okay, I do. You try. But what you’ve got here - this is a fricking cult. The last time you had this kinda juice you did kill humans, and angels, and you did nothing but lie to me and Sam about it the whole damn time.

This mistrust isn’t informative, because I would say it’s influenced heavily by the Mark, but it does show a wound that cuts so deep it still hasn’t fully healed, which I rather love. Cas undid Sam’s wall by the end of S6 -  a means to ending the brothers interfering and getting themselves killed, but still - this isn’t something Dean can easily get over, no matter how unshaken the foundation for his trust in Cas still remains. Cas is known to make bad decisions believing them to be for the greater good. (While the brothers make bad decisions for the sake of what’s good for them, for family.) (so yeah - strike that balance, boys)

Yes, well, when you give up an entire army for one guy...

My point is that we have a S6 exchange of Dean trying to convince Cas to step down, to trust him implicitly and do as he orders him to do (though Dean looks at it as a request) - Cas shooting this need for control down by pointing out that Dean’s just a man while Cas is an angel.

We then have this S9 exchange where Dean reveals that Cas’ actions while toeing the line of megalomania has left his use of power questionable. Add to that the fact that Dean states more than once how he absolutely cannot look at Cas as any type of leader figure. Control freak Dean wouldn’t, would he? No matter how much trust and faith he has in Cas’ actual capabilities, he will deny this to his dying breath because he must be top dog or bust.

Now in 13x14, yes, Dean questions Cas and rightly so, but he steps down, he listens to Cas’ convincing argument, Cas tying it back to what Dean has said twice this season, and this whatever it takes mentality being something Dean can relate to whole heartedly. It’s what he already believes in. He sees the truth of Cas’ words and chooses, this time, not to rip the argument apart and force the upper hand. Instead, he stands down. Cas got them the answers they needed, Cas knows what they have to do. Dean will follow him.

I mean, if this reading is anywhere near correct, this gives me many, many feelings.

If Dean is relinquishing his leadership to Cas, though, this is one big leap forward for him and it means he’s actually ready to open himself up to other things. But I won’t pick Dean apart here because this post is already way too long, my peeps! 

And btw I don’t expect Dean to not lead or take any responsibility or go from needing absolute control to not needing it at all in just one episode.

Baby steps.

But if this is the first baby step. Oh, boy with the final leg of his journey already!

Also, siding with Cas in his destructive scheme to save the world? No good. But if they’re setting us up for the narrative focusing on Dean and Cas, while Sam is pushed to the side because he needs to be brought into the final leg of his journey as well, which should begin with him breaking with the codependency, then bring it! It’s such a gorgeous setup!!

Tagging a few peeps who might find this of interest @elizabethrobertajones @bluestar86 @tinkdw @margarittet @super-sootica @godshipsit @charlie-minion @paperwhitenarcissus @thedogsled @amyoatmeal @sactownbrowns3 @thetwistedwillow @naruhearts @weathergirl83 @casistooadorableandithurts @fuckedupasusual @woahthisguy

[mageinabarrel]

Yoshiyuki Tomino’s idiosyncrasies have rarely been so approachable, delightful, and altogether entertaining.

I came to Overman King Gainer as a Yoshiyuki Tomino (Mobile Suit Gundam, for those whom the name on its own means nothing) show by way of Gundam Reconguista in G, a show which – as you may or may not recall – I rather liked. While my overall experience with Tomino is limited compared to the overall scope of his oeuvre, with G-Reco and Turn A Gundam (which made my top shows list at #8) under my belt I felt that I had found some kind of kinship, albeit exploratory, with the legendary creator’s idiosyncratic tendencies. And with King Gainer being catalogued along with G-Reco and Turn A among the “Happy Tomino” shows, it only seemed right that I also give it a try.

I’m happy to report that, on the whole, Overman King Gainer was exactly what I was looking for in that respect. It is decidedly a Tomino show, and no one really makes anime like Tomino. That’s probably for the best considering the nature of his quirks, but I’m glad his works have a space to exist. Tomino himself composed the lyrics to King Gainer‘s irrepressible opening theme, which perhaps tell you all you need to know about the show right off:

I need King Gainer!

King! King! King Gainer! Metal Overman King Gainer!

And, later, in the full version of the opening:

Metal fire! I love you! Metal full coat!

[In background as other lyrics happen]: King, King, King Gainer! King, King, King Gainer! King, King, King Gainer!

Did you know you can do the monkey to the rhythm of that “King, King, King Gainer!” chant? Well, you can. Many of the characters do it in the opening, with the mecha joining in (thank you, Kenichi  Yoshida). Tomino himself was caught on video during the production of King Gainer doing what looks suspiciously like that dance, too. That is the kind of bubbling, enthusiastic energy that King Gainer is imbued with from start to finish. And, in gratefulness for having been able experience all of that for myself, I’d like to highlight just a few of Overman King Gainer‘s merits to hopefully induce a few others to give it a shot sometime.

Silliness Resides inside Seriousness

Tomino’s propensity for incorporating the, er, derpier side of martial conflicts into his works is an aspect of his anime that I’ve developed a particular fondness for. While I fond myself rather thrown by the frequent disfunction of the war in Turn A Gundam in my first encounter with Tomino, I came to appreciate it more and more as I completed the series, rewatched it, and then say G-Reco and Mobile Suit Gundam. However, I think it’s fair to say that only G-Reco comes close to rivaling Overman King Gainer‘s silliness—and even then, it’s not quite there.

There is a pleasant matter-of-factness to the way Tomino anime deliver their absurdities, a kind of grinning deadpan that accompanies the obviously silly moments and more obtuse humorous bits alike. At one point, a stuffed elephant is used as a shield against a throwing knife and is subsequently apologized to upon request. Later on in the series, a confession of love is used to counteract an antagonist’s mind-reading weapon and winds up being broadcast around the globe. In between, a squirrel saves two humans from drowning. And, throughout, people just kinda… say a lot of stuff. Some of which makes sense. Some of which also makes sense, but also is funny. Some of which is just funny.

I did not say that Overman King Gainer was not a dumb anime. But it sure has a lot of fun with its ridiculous ideas, and the natural way it plays its silliest ones against its more serious ones makes for a unique charm that’s just not like anything else in anime.

The Cast Is, Really, Just Charming

It’s hard not to like many of the characters in Overman King Gainer. I mean, sure, evil railway boss Kids Munt has an incredibly punchable face (spoilers: this happens, satisfyingly) and Asuham Boone is an unreasonable human being (but he’s also so bad at doing anything that you can’t hate him). But beyond them and a handful of other antagonist-types, the cast of Overman King Gainer is just a pile of delightfully varied and unique personalities. I could list out pretty much all of them and have something good to say about each, but I won’t.

Instead, I’ll just note that my favorite in a close race was the precocious young Princess Ana and her trio of squirrel-like creatures, who enthusiastically becomes a hostage for the main group and provides occasional childish verbal beatdowns and plenty of danger-unaware cuteness. Shoutouts to candy-popping genius Overman pilot Cynthia Lane, the witty and good-looking Gain Bijou, the rock-solid Sara Kodama, and the aforementioned Asuham Boone. What speaks even more to King Gainer‘s virtues in this area, though, is the way people in King Gainer are always bouncing around outside their established social circles, talking to each other and generally being a lot of fun to watch. Pretty much the entire cast has chemistry with each other, which, along with the qualities of their unique characters, means conversations are fun no matter who’s participating.

On a related note, one aspect of Tomino’s creations that doesn’t get talked about enough is his ability to build a sense of genuine affection and camaraderie amongst the makeshift families that so often form the emotional core of his shows. Whether it’s the crew of the White Base in the original Mobile Suit Gundam or the Bellri-Aida-Raraiya-Noredo quartet in G-Reco, Tomino has a knack for investing you in the bonds between these characters as they meet, get to know each other, grow closer, and go through their stories together. The way Gainer and Sara become pseudo-parents to Cynthia Lane in the series’ final quarter or so  is a microcosm of this in action in Overman King Gainer, as the whole Yapan Exodus team moves from being a scattering of individuals and smaller groups into a united effort to bring the Ceilings safely to their home.

The Giant Roboting is Exceedingly Good

There is a lot that can be said in favor of the giant roboting in Overman King Gainer. The first is that frankly embarrassing number of fun mecha designs is off the charts – all the way from the likable design of the titular mech, to the rubbery morphing of Cynthia Lane’s Dominator, to weird frog-like Overman, to uncomfortably muscle-bound ones, to the many goofy Silhouette Machine designs, and so forth. The creativity of the powers the mechs possess—speed, invisibility, gravity control, summoning giant toads, Precure villain powers, causing eternal winter across the planet, etc.—match the designs stride-for-stride.

Of course, concepts are nice, but what about the actual use of said giant robots? Well, on the whole, I would argue that King Gainer is better at giant roboting than G-Reco, as it roughly takes a mecha of the week structure, resulting in constant giant robot duels. Happily, King Gainer‘s production is such that it’s able to make those duels achieve frequent visual heights with plenty of exciting animation. The clear standout is the BONES-outsourced episode #14, which was an industry event of sorts, but the majority of King Gainer‘s fights have at least some kind of animation merit to them—whether it be longer fight sequences or just beautifully rendered explosions.

But the most important thing about King Gainer‘s giant roboting is simply that it loves the stuff. The mecha of the week format isn’t just a convenient episode structure here, it’s a chance for the show to do what it does best of all – deliver exciting, blood-pumping mecha action to the viewer. All the good designs and fun powers and sakuga are in service of that one goal: to let giant robots do their giant robot thing. The creative of concept simply bubbles out in a joyful rush as the fights get bigger, the opposing mecha more hilariously overpowered, and the titular mecha finding new ways to overcome the challenges before – all the way to the very end, which is one of the most stirring giant robot moments I have yet has the pleasure of witnessing.

And you know, this is a giant robot show—so if the giant roboting is good, what else really is there to complain about?

King! King! King Gainer! Metal Overman King Gainer!

Yoshiyuki Tomino's idiosyncrasies have rarely been so approachable, delightful, and altogether entertaining. Yoshiyuki Tomino's idiosyncrasies have rarely been so approachable, delightful, and altogether entertaining.

[gaming-rabbot]

Rabbot Reviews: Night in the Woods

Painfully relatable, wonderfully colorful, delightfully charming, and exasperatingly existential.

Imagine a much tamer BoJack Horseman, with a colorful flourish and sense of nostalgia reminiscent of Hotline Miami, mixed with the millennial Scooby-Doo gang vibe of Oxenfree. Also imagine if Life is Strange felt less artificial with its blatant farce of an attempt at understanding hip kid lingo, and that Firewatch actually bothered going somewhere with its thriller esque setup and plot hooks.

That’s a jumbled mess of words, but also a perfect descriptor for the subject of this review: Night in the Woods.

Night in the Woods stars the unassuming Mae Borrowski, a 20 year old college dropout who has returned to her podunk, middle-of-nowhere, boring town, where nothing good ever happened to anybody, least of all Mae.

Upon return, she’s met with passive-aggression spiced concern from parents who honestly just want to know what their only child is going through, and friends who all either already have or are in the process of growing up and moving on in life. Thus, her return meant to ease her back into the comforts of nostalgia and something resembling normalcy only seem to cause her more anxiety and strife.

Also the crushingly slow and depressing realization that life has no meaning and nothing we do in the universe actually matters. But hey, one thing at a time, right guys?

Last call for a (mild) spoiler warning.

The very first thing to note is that Night in the Woods is a certain type of game. And if you grit your teeth and practically feel your blood boil at the very thought of this type of game, first I might suggest seeing a doctor, but second and more importantly, NitW more than likely will not change your mind about this type of game.

I am referring, of course, to the ever-fun and totally-never-controversial-topic, the walking simulator. Where things like failure states scarcely show their faces, and gameplay mostly takes a backseat to narrative.

And by backseat, this sometimes means a bus. A very long bus.

I’ve talked about it before, but nobody reads my reviews, so I’ll say it again: I personally have absolutely no qualm nor quibble with the existence of this new and befuddling genre of video game. At least, not at face value. When the only thing a game is properly offering is a narrative, then I won’t hold that against the game, so long as said narrative can deliver. Not like Firewatch or Life is Strange, where the lack of an actual game further hampers the lack of a good or wholly competent story.

Besides, variety is the spice of life, my friend, despite what certain YouTube personalities will tell you. And a diverse offering of games means a diverse offering of self-proclaimed “gamers,” which goes on to mean the industry can only grow and get better as a whole with market expansion. You know, the only good part of capitalism; more media getting produced to the point where that incredibly niche thing you always wanted to see get made, well, finally getting made.

You know the one.

More to the point, I ask that narrative heavy games deliver. And deliver Night in the Woods did, with a fairly agreeable amount of competence.

It is at this point in the review, where the review has yet to actually begin, that I’d like to announce that I had been looking forward to this game for three years, ever since I first laid eyes on the Kickstarter trailer.

(Which, by the way, this game was funded via Kickstarter, so take that extra tidbit for what you will. I know it’s a touchy subject after things like Mighty No. 9.)

After which point, however, the game experienced something like three or four release delays, which speaks to me of a dev team possibly severely underestimating how long it takes to actually make a game. Or overestimating their own capabilities? Who knows.

Part of me worries that I can’t be objective, though. The game seemed to have won my heart long before I’d ever get to see a finished product. Could I have been blinded by my bias?

No. The answer is no.

Almost entirely for those aforementioned, nigh-constant release delays. Couple that with Infinite Falls putting out not one, but two mini games set in universe, instead of, oh I don’t know, the game people paid them to make? In an ounce of fairness, I’ve come to retroactively appreciate said mini games, as they do add to the lore.

And I’m a sucker for lore.

Perhaps I’m being petty, and somehow retroactively less petty, but my bias and unconditional love and goodwill slowly faded in direct relation to every year after the originally announced release date I had to wait. And as I sat down to start, and even as I completed the game, I asked myself: was it worth the wait?

Mm. Yeah, pretty much.

Okay, I should probably slow down. Maybe give some kind of buildup before spilling the final thoughts all out like that.

One of the first things you notice about Evening in the Forest, aside from how humorously long it takes to actually see all the characters in the woods at night time, is the screen constantly saturated with lots of orange, red, and brown. The fall colors are heavily emphasized, not merely because that’s the season the story takes place in, but the colors are exaggeratedly warm, so to match the cozy comforts the protagonist, Mae (remember Mae?), is seeking to feel deep down in her guts again.

But rather than that being the case, Mae’s hometown immediately feels cold and unfamiliar, which the game emphasizes by instead starting you off on the outskirts in the dead of night mostly by yourself. And the game world is introduced with lots of dark colors, mainly blues.

It’s easy to tell that color-play was set to be a key design aesthetic early in development.

This is matched and mirrored as even the primary cast are color coded in much the same way. Mae’s parents who forgot about her first night back are both dark, ash gray; cold. Gregg gives Mae the most excited welcome back of the crew, and he’s a ruddy orange; warm. Bea is distant at first, making undercutting jabs at Mae’s character, and she’s a muted teal; cold. Finally, Angus is friendly enough, if a tad mellow, and he’s the brown bear (who’s also a bear, ha (bam, super funny, original joke)); yeah, pretty warm.

The next to overkill levels of clear-cut color-play give the game a sort of story book vibe, which is further highlighted by the simple shapes that make up the models and the cartoonish proportions all the characters have; e.g., eyes make up a third of the real estate on any given face, which can sometimes be as tall or wide as the body it’s sitting on.

The bright, saturated, vivid colors of any given background, the color coding of warm and cold characters, the toony looks; it all drives home to evoke that very same feeling of familiarity and nostalgia Mae is seeking at the start of the game. As though to remind the player of simpler, more innocent times. It’s waking up on a Saturday morning at a young age to watch cartoons, that sort of thing. It’s the charming bait that demands your attention first. And the player, much like Mae, finds the hook a lot less charming with the panged stings of being proverbially stabbed by a cold and indifferent reality.

Reality tends to set in on this game like a sack of bricks. I found myself saying “that got a little too real there for a sec” so often, I figure it may as well be on the box.

(Well. You know. If the game had a box.)

It’s around this point, after the main cast is thoroughly introduced, that the game starts to really pick up. The pacing is solid enough; I never felt complacent, like I was waiting for the next bit of plot to happen. It’s slow exactly when and where it needs to feel slow. And for the rest of the time, the game is throwing sudden Guitar Hero segments at you.

When chatting with a friend about this, he admitted he found Mae’s movement speed plodding and felt it dragged the pacing down too much. It’s not something that bothered me, but I can see where there’s a case for it.

Here’s where the more “gamey,” for lack of a better term, side of the game comes in. At various intervals, the game will introduce a brand new mini game with its own self-contained set of mechanics. There’s a lot of variety here, and for the most part, they never outstay their welcome.

The only properly recurring one is the bass-playing segment. And though it’s possible to fail these (very possible in the case of the Pumpkin Head Guy song), the game will carry on regardless. In a way, Night in the Woods does actually have failure states, but the player doesn’t lose any progress when it happens.

Then the gang finds a severed arm!

Around that part, though, the game introduces a game within the game, in the form of a game on Mae’s laptop by the name of Demontower. And what a pleasant surprise, it’s a decent all around top down slash and dash, action affair. The amount of effort that went into it is shocking, considering it could’ve easily just been a cute little one-off gag. But no, it’s a completely legitimate game, with a full tale, its own set of mechanics, and several decently challenging boss fights punctuating each randomized level.

It’s the kind of thing I’d pay maybe ten bucks for (usd), but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel the value of my purchase with NitW go up a bit, considering there’s basically two games for the price of one here. Plus it might just placate one who finds dialogue heavy games dull. Who knows, but it’s a stellar addition either way.

I also adore that the developers wasted no opportunity to try and enhance their story, as they even worked symbolism relevant to the story at hand into the miniature side game on Mae’s laptop. The very first boss of any Demontower run looks remarkably like a certain muted teal gothic gator girl.

But, and here’s the kicker: this boss doesn’t do anything, and dies in one hit.

Surely it’s a reference to Bea’s semi-combative nature toward Mae at the start, and how easily that folds away when she remembers their shared history. It’s a really unnecessary metaphor they didn’t have to include, but it stuck with me that they even did. Although, in the interest of fairness, I feel I must admit it’s not exactly subtle.

In fact, it’s about as subtle as that severed arm I mentioned earlier, then stopped talking about.

I did this to draw comparison the somewhat noticeable lull between traumatic and supernatural events. Because while I said the story beats in of themselves never felt too far apart, I have to admit, again in fairness, that it seems to take a good while for the payoff of things like this. I will say though, payoff does come in due time, and NitW more or less sticks the landing well enough.

Take the backstory of Mae beating a kid’s face in with a metal bat during her little league game, for example.

To be perfectly frank, I figured the game would never have any kind of payoff for this at all. This or the actual reason why Mae came home from college. The cynic in me is alive and well, and I fully believed the writers would take the easy route and leave it all up to the imagination. But no, they actually explain it all, and explain it fairly well.

Mae has a mental thing where she rarely loses touch with reality, seeing only basic shapes where actual things and people are supposed to be. And a statue at college made up of basic shapes caused a mental relapse in her psyche, sending her spiraling into extremely self-destructive habits she couldn’t break herself out of. I’m certain there’s a proper term for this, but I’m not well read enough to know what it might be.

Effort like that put into creating a solid trunk for the rest of the story to branch off of is grand. And a relief, after dealing with games like Firewatch, where the backstory is so inconsequential, it’s picked out of a seemingly random assortment of vague synopses so as to snugly slot in any old referential dialogue between the bread of real plot.

In that regard, Dusk in the Trees fits nicely on the same shelf of Oxenfree.

Now that I think of it, both games are on that same shelf for a lot of similarities; the gaggle of young adults having complex relationships filled with strife and friction, the overt metaphor of them struggling to deal with supernatural elements where said supernature stands in for the responsible adulthood they’re on the precipice of, branching dialogue options used to explore character relations, the heavy and pervasive sense of nostalgia on the air like so many flitting dust particles in an old abandoned barn at sunset, etc.

Not that I mind having a couple eerily similar games, though. They’re a couple of the only games I’ve ever been able to relate to on such a deeply emotional and personal level. And I feel like that’s kind of the big foundation at the bottom of it all; relatability and realness to keep you grounded amidst all the severed arms, and ghost stories, and murder cults.

Whenever I watched Mae talk to her mom, I felt twinges of chills. Because I could almost swear I’d had those exact conversations with my own mother. We snark at each other in much of the same sarcastic way Mae and her mom do. I’ve even felt similar pressure Mae has about her education and how she’s going to handle the entire rest of her life.

It… hurts. It actually sort of hurts just how relatable this all is.

When walking down the main drag through Possum Springs (the ingame town), deja vu washed over me time and again. The urban decay of old businesses that never seem to last, the new franchised ones that seemingly cropped up from nowhere, the random animal people walking by who remarkably resemble random human people I’ve walked by in my own small, nothing special hometown; it all felt entirely too familiar.

It’s truly astounding how a game where the main character dreams about meeting god, and it’s not absolutely clear whether it actually happened, somehow managed to feel this real to life.

I’ve often commented on how relatability is not the end-all, be-all of good storytelling, let alone good character building. Though it does help, it’s better when the characters are this fun, charming, and sincere. And I feel like the writers really nailed that aspect, instead of relying on all the chest clutching of players like me who felt they’ve been there before.

Whatever smaller qualms I have with the story at large, I can’t deny how hard Infinite Falls got me to fall madly in love with this cast.

This game found me at I feel the perfect time in my life. It’s the angsty teen to young adult adventure I always wanted to see in a video game. This is my “that incredibly niche thing you always wanted to see get made, finally getting made.” And if you’re anything like me, then the story will resonate with you too.

Honestly, I can’t recommend this game enough. It’s not as perfect as I make it sound; there are a few grammar mistakes and a couple graphical issues. But if you can look past that, and gameplay ultimately not being the point, you’ll find a pretty solid, genuine-feeling story.

[toonstarterz]

Toonyoungster Watches: Pokémon The Movie: I Choose You ! (DUB)

SPOILER WARNING!! 

ALSO, CONSTRUCTIVE (NON-BASHING) CRITICISM OF THE DUB AHEAD...

Very few movies can resonate with me on a deeply, personal level. 

The latest Pokémon movie has that distinct honor. 

As a long-time Pokémon fan, seeing this movie in theaters was an absolute must. And apparently, I wasn’t the only one. The theater I went to see this was seriously packed. Kids, teens, and adults were all over the place, and I felt so honored that I could share this once-in-a-lifetime experience with people who love Pokémon as much as I do.

But what about the movie itself? To be honest, I don’t think I can review this movie wholly unbiased. A part of me loves this movie for reasons the average viewer rightfully won’t appreciate. That said, I’m going into this review not as a newcomer, but through the eyes of a lifelong Pokéani fan. And yes, I will be critiquing the dub here, for better or worse. 

Let’s start with the narrative. You all know the origin story of Ash and Pikachu, so I won’t be going too much there since it was largely the same as the first episode. What I’m talking about is everything past the 10 minute-mark. The story of how Ash Ketchum met Verity and Sorrel and their quest to find Ho-oh.

The first thing I wanna say is that this is a solid idea start to finish. The way Ash met Verity and Sorrel, the rivalry with Cross, the trials and tribulations they go through to find Ho-oh are all believable. It was hardly a complex story, but in this case, the simple goal of a lovably simple trainer is all you need. 

Now for my first criticism. The first that comes to mind was the pacing that made the movie seem a little too eager to get through the smaller parts in favorite of the bigger, heavier scenes. The problem with this is that these bigger scenes don’t have as much impact without the proper buildup. Butterfree’s goodbye felt a little hollow since we didn’t see much of the pokémon beyond its evolution scenes. The inclusion of the legendary dogs didn’t feel as meaningful since their connection with our three heroes seemed a little too convenient. 

Speaking of heroes, let’s talk about Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town. If there’s one thing I can give this movie full props for, it’s putting Ash Ketchum at the center of it. A movie where Ash is the true main character instead of just a face to put next to the marketable characters is what I’ve always wanted. Best of all, they actually have Ash go through some real development, and on an internal level no less. When he muttered that he wish he’d had a different starter, that gave me goosebumps since it’s so unlike the Ash we know now. But given that this is a reimagining of Ash at the start of his journey, it makes sense to characterize him this way. Kudos M20 for making this a true Ash Ketchum movie.

I believe a special mention goes to the dream sequence, which may be the most original thing the Pokémon movies has ever done. It’s essentially a world where Pokémon don’t exist, and Ash Ketchum is typical anime schoolboy. It really crossed into the uncanny valley of being so familiar yet also so wrong that I respect the writers for eliciting such an emotion out of me.

Props to Sarah Natochenny for giving her most impressive performance of Ash yet. She’s still rough around the edges, but you tell that she’s putting in real genuine emotion at the right moments. She’s come a long way.

Of course, you can’t talk about Ash without Pikachu. The yellow rat is just as much of a jerk at the start of film as we all expected. From spearow attack onwards, Pikachu’s personality does sort of plateau for the rest of the film, save for some key moments like the dream sequence. I will say this, though: Ikue Ohtani is spectacular when delivering Pikachu’s most emotionally driven moments. I honestly had chills during the “death” scene.

As for the “talking” scene...it could have been worse. I heard a few laughs of disbelief in the theatre so I know the seriousness didn’t resonate with everyone.  It felt like we were supposed to take it as a mental translation on Ash’s part, but the execution of it felt a little too far into reality. Good try.

Now for our side heroes, Verity and Sorrel. Note: If you looking for comparisons between them against Misty and Brock, you’ve come to the wrong review.

Verity, on all accounts, is a perfectly likeable heroine. She’s has a lot of the qualities that make her a good parallel for Ash: headstrong, spunky, earnest, empathetic, with a little fire in her. It certainly helps that she’s voiced by Suzy Myers, one of my top favorite voice actors in the dub. Thankfully, her backstory wasn’t overbearingly sad. It had just enough subtlety for the audience to sympathize with her. All in all, nothing groundbreaking, but just right for a movie appearance. 

Sorrel, on the other hand, I’m not afraid to admit I was sort of disappointed with. I get that he plays the “mature” role to Ash and Verity, and in that apartment, he’s a decent character. My issue is that it’s the only thing about him, so he didn’t have much character depth. There wasn’t really anything to offset his sensible personality, such as the quirks that “mature” characters like Brock and Cilan had. It certainly didn’t help that his voice actor, David Oliver Nelson, seemed to struggle giving him a good emotional range. Guess you can’t win them all. 

Then there’s our antagonist, the not-Damian Cross. He definitely plays the role of being everything that Ash isn’t, and in that regard, he’s a very good villain. I think my issue with Cross is not so much his personality, but by his character growth, which felt very textbook as far as rivals are concerned. He does effectively increase the tension whenever he’s on screen so I’ll give him that. At this time, I don’t know who voices him, but he seems to have some of the performance issues Nelson appears to have. Overall, a good rival that needed some refinement to be really great.

Bonji was obviously meant to be a representation of fans who’ve been with the franchise for twenty years. Not much to say about him except that he’s a fun addition, even if he is just a little more than a mouthpiece for the plot.

Our obligatory mythical Pokémon, Marshadow is...weird. Jumping from an observer to leading a genocide against humans was certainly an unexpected development, so I give the movie props for not giving yet another cutesy, pure-hearted legendary. But going back to the movie’s pacing issues, the jump from passive to active was just so fast, that it almost felt like a cop-out. If anything, Marshadow will be one of the more memorable pokémon the movies ever put out. 

Team Rocket...I love you guys, but even I can’t deny how insignificant you were to this movie. Being utter gag characters is fine in some cases, but in a 20th anniversary movie, you’d think Team Rocket would have more of a starring role. And it hurts even more since they had more significant roles in the last string of Pokémon movies. Better luck next time.

Technically speaking, this may be the most visually inspiring film to date. Seeing the landscapes of the Kanto region in such vibrant and immersive colors just blew my mind, and the lighting was absolutely impeccable to boot. The animation, to my surprise, exceeded my expectations. It was joyfully frenetic at the action scenes, and delightfully subdued in its quieter moments. I have nary a complaint in this regard.

And now for the most controversial part of my review: the music. Not gonna lie, I was one of the people who was really, really hoping they’d keep the Japanese soundtrack, and I was met with disappointment when my hopes were shot down. Now the dub soundtrack isn’t horrendous, mind you. It’s just that I personally am not a fan of Ed Goldfarb’s compositions–they lack variety and are emotionally muted in my opinion–though to be fair, this does feel like his better works compared to previous movies. I also really respect that they kept silence where it was essential. But for an anniversary movie, having the original tracks from the series just felt like an absolute must. I can only imagine just how much more glorious the movie sounds in the original.  

As I said before, this movie is a case of a really strong, really solid idea suffering from less than stellar execution. This is quite honestly, the most important Pokémon film in existence, as it very likely will affect how the anime and films will proceed from here. The inclusion of past traveling companions at the end was especially meaningful, because it told us that the writers do remember they exist, and that future appearances are not out of the question. It’s a tease, but a much desired one. 

While I may have expressed some disappointment in the dub, I can recognize that the cast and crew really put their heart into this one, which why I find its shortcomings to be more disheartening than aggravating. Despite its narrative constraints, it really did feel like the Pokémon team, both the original and dub, put so much more effort into giving us a Pokémon movie to remember. If I had to give this movie a hard rating it’d be a 7.5/10. Let’s hope that future Pokémon movies will be given just as much love as this one.

[meeedeee]

The Great Wall: Review RSS FEED OF POST WRITTEN BY FOZMEADOWS

Warning: all the spoilers for The Great Wall.

When I first heard about The Great Wall, I rolled my eyes and dismissed it as yet another exploitative tale of Western exceptionalism where the white guy comes in, either insults or co-opts the local culture, saves the day and gets the girl, all while taking a role originally intended for or grossly better suited to a person of colour. It wasn’t until later that I learned the film was directed by Zhang Yimou, filmed on location in Qingdao, China,  and featuring a predominantly Chinese cast, with Matt Damon – emphasised in Western marketing to attract a Western audience – starring as one of several leads, in a role that was always intended for a Western actor. The film was released in China at the end of 2016 – and is, in fact, the most expensive film ever shot entirely in China – and was meant to be an international release, designed to appeal to both Chinese and Western audiences, from the outset.

Which left me feeling rather more curious and charitable than I had been; enough so that, today, I went out and saw it. Historically, I’m not an enormous fan of Matt Damon, who always strikes me as having two on-screen modes – All-American Hero and Not-Quite-Character Actor, the former being generally more plausible than the latter at the expense of being less interesting – but I’ve always enjoyed Zhang Yimou’s cinematography, especially his flair for colour and battle sequences. The fact that The Great Wall is ultimately an historical action fantasy film – a genre I am predisposed to love – is also a point in its favour; I’ve watched a great deal of Hollywood trash over the years in service to my SFFnal heart, and even with Damon’s involvement, The Great Wall already started out on better footing than most of it by virtue of Zhang’s involvement.

Even so, I was wary about the execution overall, and so went in expecting something along the lines of a more highly polished but still likely disjointed Chinese equivalent to the abysmal 47 Ronin, an American production that floundered thanks to a combination of studio meddling, language issues with the predominantly Japanese-speaking cast being instructed to deliver their lines in English, last-minute changes and a script that couldn’t decide who was writing it. But of course, 47 Ronin’s biggest offence – aside from constituting a criminal waste of Rinko Kikuchi’s talents – was doing what I initially, falsely assumed The Great Wall was doing: unnecessarily centering a white actor playing a non-white role in an Asian setting whose authenticity was systematically bastardised by the Western producers.

Instead, I found myself watching one of the most enjoyable SFF action films I’ve seen since Pacific Rim. (Which did not waste Rinko Kikuchi.)

The premise: William (Matt Damon) and his companion Tovar (Pedro Pascal) are part of a Western trade mission sent to China to find black powder – gunpowder – for their armies at home. While fleeing Kitan bandits in the mountains, they encounter an unknown monster and, in seeking its origins, are soon taken in by the Nameless Order, an army manning the Great Wall against an expected incursion of the monsters, called Taotie. In charge are General Shao (Hanyu Zhang) and his offsider, Commander Lin Mae (Tian Jing), advised by Strategist Wang (Andy Lau). Every sixty years, the Taotie attack from a nearby mountain, and the next attack is just starting; as such, the Nameless Order and the Great Wall are all that stand between the hoards, controlled by a single Queen, and the nearby capital, Bianliang. While attempting to win Commander Lin’s trust, William makes two alliances: one with Sir Ballard (Willem Dafoe), a Westerner who initially came to China in search of black powder twenty-five years ago; and another with Peng Yong (Lu Han), a young soldier whose life he saves. While Tovar and Ballard are eager to steal the black powder and leave, Commander Lin, General Shao and Strategist Wang are working to counter the evolving strategies of the Taotie: if the Wall is breeched and Bianliang falls, the Taotie will have enough sustenance to overrun the world, a fact which forces William to choose between loyalty to his friends and to a higher cause.

From the outset, I was impressed by the scriptwriting in The Great Wall, which manages the trick of being both deft and playful, fast-paced without any stilted infodumping or obvious plot-holes, aside from a very slight and seemingly genre-requisite degree of handwaving around what the Taotie do when they’re not attacking. The fact that at least half the film is subtitled was another pleasant surprise: of the Chinese characters, both Lin and Wang speak English – their fluency is explained by years of Ballard’s tutelage – and who act as translators for the rest; even so, they still get to deliver plenty of lines in Chinese, and there are numerous scenes where none of the Western characters are present. A clever use is also made of the difference between literal and thematic translations: while the audience sees the literal English translation of the Chinese dialogue in subtitles, there are multiple occasions when, in translating out loud for the benefit of the English-speaking characters, Lin and Wang make subtle adjustments, either politely smoothing over private jokes or tweaking their words for best effect.The scene where Commander Lin’s ability to speak English is revealed made me laugh out loud in a good way: I hadn’t expected the film to be funny, either, but it frequently is, thanks in no small part to the wonderful Pedro Pascal, who plays Tovar so beautifully that he has a tendency to steal every scene he’s in.

Tovar is dry, witty and pragmatic, given to some dark moments, but also loyal, while his establishment as a Spanish character adds another historical dimension to the setting. Aside from calling William amigo, he only gets one real instance of subtitled Spanish dialogue, but the context in which he does this – using it as a private language in Lin’s presence, once her ability to speak English is known – makes for a pleasing gracenote in their collective characterisation. The brief details we’re given of William’s mercenary history, fighting the Danes and Franks and Spaniards, are likewise compelling, a quick acknowledgement of the wider world’s events. It reminded me, in an odd but favourable way, of The 13th Warrior, a film which made the strange decision to cast Antonio Banderas as an Arab protagonist, but whose premise evoked a similar sense of historical intersections not often explored by the action genre.

I also appreciated Tian Jing’s subtle performance as Commander Lin, not only because her leadership of the all-female Crane Corps is objectively awesome – in the opening battle, the women stand on extended platforms beyond the Wall, bungee down on harnesses and spear monsters in the face – but because, refreshingly, not a single person in the film questions either the capabilities or the presence of the female warriors. When General Shao is mortally wounded in battle, it’s Lin he chooses to succeed him, a decision his male Commanders accept absolutely. While there’s a certain inevitable hetero tension between William and Lin, I was pleased beyond measure that this never devolves into forced romance or random kissing: by the film’s end, the Emperor has confirmed Lin as a General, William is on his way back to Europe, and while they’re both enriched by the trust they found in each other, William is not her saviour and Lin is always treated respectfully – both by William, and by the narrative itself.

(Also, The Great Wall passes the Bechdel test, because the female warriors of the Crane Corps talk to each other about something other than men, although they do still, somewhat delightfully, talk shit about William at one point. This is such a low bar to pass that it shouldn’t even merit a mention. And yet.)

Though the action slows a little at the midway point, it remains engaging throughout, while the overall film is structurally solid. As a genre, fantasy action films tend to be overly subject to fridge logic, but the plotting in The Great Wall is consistently… well, consistent. Even small details, like the role of the Kitan raiders, William’s magnet and the arc of Peng Yong’s involvement are consistently shown to be meaningful, lending the film a pleasing all-over symmetry. And visually, it’s spectacular: the Taotie are as convincing as they are terrifying (and boast a refreshingly original monster design), while the real Chinese landscapes are genuinely breathtaking. Zhang Yimou’s trademark use of colour is in full effect with the costuming and direction, lending a visual richness to a concept and setting which, in Western hands, would likely have been rendered in that same flat, drearily gritty sepia palette of greys, browns and blacks that we’ve all come to associate with White Dudes Expressing The Horror Of War, Occasionally Ft. Aliens. Instead of that, we have the Crane Corps resplendent in gorgeous blue lamellar armour, the footsoldiers in black and the archers in red, with other divisions in yellow and purple. Though the ultimate explanation for the Taotie is satisfyingly science fictional rather than magical – which, again, evokes a comparison to another historical SFF film I enjoyed, 2008’s flawed but underrated Outlander – the visual presentation remains wonderfully fantastical.

While I can understand the baseline reluctance of many viewers to engage with a film set in ancient China that nonetheless has Matt Damon as a protagonist – and while I won’t fault anyone who wants to avoid it on those grounds, or just because they dislike Damon himself – the fact that it’s a predominantly Chinese production, and that William’s character isn’t an instance of whitewashing, is very much worth highlighting. While William certainly plays a pivotal role in vanquishing the enemy, the final battle is a cooperative effort, one he achieves on absolute equal terms and through equal participation with Lin. Nor do I want to downplay the significance of Pascal’s Tovar, who represents a three-dimensional, non-stereotyped Latinx character at a point in time when that’s something we badly need more of. Indeed, given the enthusiastic response to Diego Luna’s portrayal of Cassian Andor in Rogue One, particularly the fact that he kept his accent, I feel a great disservice has been done by everyone who’s failed to mention Pascal’s front-and-centre involvement in the project.

I went into The Great Wall expecting to be mildly entertained by an ambitious muddle, and came out feeling engaged, satisfied and happy. As a film, it’s infinitely better than the structural trainwreck that was the recent Assassin’s Creed adaptation, and not just because the latter stars Michael Fassbender, the world’s most smugly punchable man. The Great Wall is colourful, visually spectacular, well-scripted, neatly characterised, engagingly paced and consistently plotted, and while I might’ve wanted to see a little more of General Shao and his offsiders or learn more about the women of the Crane Corps, that wanting is a product of the success of what I did see: the chosen focus didn’t feel narrow by construction, but rather like a glimpse into a wider, more fully-fleshed setting that was carrying on in the background. For Western audiences, William and Tovar are the outsider characters who introduce us to the Chinese setting, but for Chinese audiences, I suspect, the balance of the film feels very different.

The Great Wall is the kind of production I want to see more of: ambitious, coherent, international and fantastical. If we have to sit through the inclusion of Matt Damon this one time to cement the viability of such collaborations, then so be it. With films like La La Land and Fantastic Beasts actively whitewashing their portrayals of America’s Jazz Age, those wanting to support historical diversity could do much worse than see something which represents a seemingly intelligent, respectful collaboration between Western and Chinese storytellers. Maybe the end result won’t be for everyone, but I thoroughly enjoyed myself – and really, what more can you ask?

from shattersnipe: malcontent & rainbows http://ift.tt/2lkPiGZ via IFTTT

[cover2covermom]

*Books included in this batch of mini book reviews: The Unhoneymooners by Christina Lauren, Becoming by Michelle Obama, Separation Anxiety by Laura Zigman, and The Fifth Avenue Story Society by Rachel Hauck

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» The Unhoneymooners by Christina Lauren

» I really enjoyed the enemies to lovers trope here.  Olive and Ethan had great chemistry, and I enjoyed the progression of their relationship.  Their witty banter was everything!

» I was delightfully surprised with how funny this book was.  I found myself laughing out loud to myself a few different times while reading.  Between the awkward situations and the snark, I found this book very amusing.

» The Unhoneymooners makes for perfect beach or summer vacation read.  The Hawaii setting was the perfect backdrop for this story.

» I think this story would translate well to film.  Someone call NetFlix and have them adapt this into a delightful rom-com!» The plot was pretty predictable.  I’ve found that books that include the enemies to lovers trope almost always follow a similar structure: the characters hate each other, the characters realize the other isn’t as bad as they first thought, the characters fall in love, the characters break up – usually after some type of misunderstanding, then the characters get back together.  The Unhoneymooners was no different.  There were definitely some cliche elements.

» Switching perspectives for the last chapter felt off.  I would have preferred to end things with Olive’s point of view since the rest of the book was told from her perspective.

› Recommended to ⇒ Rom-com fans

› Trigger/content warnings ⇒ cheating

» Becoming by Michelle Obama

In Becoming, Michelle Obama chronicles her life from her early years to life after serving as First Lady of the United States.» My absolute favorite aspect about this book was how real and down-to-earth Michelle is.  She does not put on airs, but rather gives us a honest look into her life thus far.  From her her humble beginnings, to her infertility journey, to her struggles balancing a career and motherhood, Michelle lays it all out there.

 » While I always have loved Michelle Obama, reading her memoir opened my eyes to just how impressive she is.  I appreciate how intelligent, driven, passionate, kind, and empathetic she is.  I’m ashamed to admit that I had no idea that she was a lawyer in her younger years.  Not only was she a lawyer, but a successful one at that.  The fact that Michelle left her high paying job as a lawyer to pursue something more meaningful, thus cutting her salary in half, just made me love her even more.

» In case you didn’t know, Michelle narrates the audiobook herself, which she does beautifully.  I cannot recommend reading this book via audiobook enough.  Listening to Michelle’s life story in her own voice made it that much more authentic.

» Despite the fact that this is a hefty tome – the audiobook came in at just over 19 hours – I was engaged from start to finish.

› Recommended to ⇒ fans of “celebrity” memoirs; fans of inspirational memoirs

» Separation Anxiety by Laura Zigman

» One of the things that I appreciated about Separation Anxiety was how relatable some of Judy’s feelings were.  Judy is in a rut for many reasons: career & financial stress, marital struggles, her best friend has cancer, and her son is growing up.  All of these are very valid reasons to feel anxiety, and many of us have experienced many of these very same stressors.»  I think the author was attempting to write a book that would charm readers with eccentric characters & a humorous plot line, but don’t think it delivered.  Instead of being funny, the story felt odd & forced.

» Judy doesn’t grow over the course of the book, nor does she ever seek help for her anxiety… Gary, her husband, actually goes through more character development than Judy does.

» Judy’s terminally ill best friend felt like a plot device.

› Recommended to ⇒  Fans of eccentric characters

› Trigger/content warnings ⇒ anxiety; depression; cancer

› If you liked this book, try ⇒ Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman

» The Fifth Avenue Story Society by Rachel Hauck

*2.75 Stars*» I thought the characters were likable & I was invested in their separate stories.  I loved that the heart of this story is five people coming together and forming lasting friendships.

» I was particularly invested in Lexa & Cora’s perspectives.   I felt their journey both together as new friends and individually, was the most interesting of the bunch.

» I loved the New York setting here.  Bonus points for the inclusion of a historic library.» I feel like we were following too many different characters in this book.  I think this story would have worked better as a dual perspective story, where we see some of the other society members through the eyes of the main characters.

» I didn’t realize this was “Christian fiction” when this was picked for one of my book clubs.  I don’t typically read “Christian fiction,” as I feel they can too preachy with the religious aspects.  The majority of the book was fine, but the religious tones came out of nowhere at the end and were extremely heavy handed.

» Parts of the book were slow moving and a bit dull.

» The plot was cliche & everything wrapped up too nicely at the end.  I would have preferred for things NOT to have worked out perfectly for EVERYONE, or if things had been left up to interpretation.

» I did not believe Chuck & Coral’s romance.  It felt very underdeveloped and out of left field.

› Recommended to ⇒ cozier types of reads

› Trigger/content warnings ⇒ domestic violence; drug addiction; suicide

› If you liked this book, try ⇒ The Wednesday Sisters by Meg Waite Clayton

Have you read any of these books?  If so, what did you think?

Comment below & let me know 🙂

      Mini Book Reviews: June 2020 - Part 2 #BookBlogger #BookReview #Books #Reading #Bookworm #Bibliophile #Bookish *Books included in this batch of mini book reviews: The Unhoneymooners by Christina Lauren, Becoming by Michelle Obama, …

[yakovoice]

Number Masking: What Is It? How It Protects Customer Data

As new technologies emerge, interactions between consumers and businesses grow more sophisticated and digitally available.

However, Businesses like cab hiring services, travel booking, ecommerce, online dating all are prone to data-related vulnerabilities.

To shield crucial data of customer contacts, modern-day business firms need robust, reliable number masking services.

Conquering growing insecurity and fear around sharing phone numbers is the primary challenge businesses need to combat since customers expect honest buy-and-sell service that keep their private phone numbers secure.

If not handled precisely, it may lead to unexpected spam calls, identity theft, scams and more. A banking report in India, suggests that hackers can gain access to your bank account and social profiles using phone numbers.

This is where cloud telephony for call masking sounds like a viable solution.

Solution gained

The call masking method works best for businesses that are compelled to share sensitive customer data to their partners or third-party agencies.

The purpose is to conduct direct communication without revealing customer identity and exact contact details.

Not only does this approach protect business information, but it also creates a smooth flow of transparent communication among buyers, merchants, delivery service staff, suppliers and drivers.

Thus, customers don’t have to expose their private phone number, and business can maintain its flawless integrity and reputation.

What exactly is Phone Number Masking?

The key to safeguarding precious customer data and privacy is through phone number masking which forms an essential part in Cloud telephony system.

In this arrangement, the software connects two people by means of using a bridge that authenticated a process of calling a customer.

This way, customer identity remains legal and unharmed.

Masked phone numbers help E-commerce agencies set drivers, delivery men, and third-party agents safely approach customers creating a solid and sublimated loop.

Cab hiring services and E-commerce especially capitalize on call masking solutions to ensure delivery person or drivers contact customers without accessing the exact number of both parties.

This is the principal mechanism with which disposable numbers generate vibes of anonymous communication.

When an E-commerce delivery person initiates a call by clicking on “call a customer” button, the IVR comes into play that asks them to place the order number. Once the order number is shared, the number masking solution in place will fetch the customer’s number from the database and let the call happen.

Number Masking Mechanism: How does it actually work?

To illustrate how things work in number masking service architecture, we are going to focus on a real-world situation that everyone has experienced. Let’s take the example of hailing a cab service.

Problem

Kevin would like to hail a cab but does not have access to internet connection to explore company’s app. He chooses to make a call to a number promoted by taxi-company and connects to a driver and informs him about the pickup station.

Solution and call process

The Cloud telephony system takes the request from Kevin and sends a confirmation to the company’s platform to solicit the next action. The company’s API coincides with the number masking solution for this process to occur. Then, the company’s platform responds.

The following actions are expected :

Forward the caller to the driver after changing caller ID

Give an auto-response audio: No cab drivers available at the moment please try later.

Based on the instruction passed on by the company’s platform, the cloud telephony system performs an action and connects Kevin to a driver. The platform architecture is designed to enable proxy phone number for a direct communication between Kevin and Cab driver.

Eventually, the driver receives a call with an anonymous caller ID and talks to Kevin. If allowed by the taxi company’s platform, the driver can also be able to give a call back to Kevin to update him about the delay or navigational route.

Top 5 Benefits of number masking

When sharing personal information, we worry about privacy and security. Number masking not only covers these benefits, but also offers more advantages such as:

1. Uncompromised privacy and absolute security Since the proxy phone number will cloud actual numbers by forming a bridge between business and customers, buyers can repose in the fact that their space will never be intruded and will be armored with inviolable security.

People want to appreciate privacy and anonymity in personal life and evade endangering their identity by losing their private phone number to unknown representatives.

Cloud telephony services are designed to hide phone numbers and mask it, which conveys to customers that you are always there to provide the excellent interactive environment.

2. Customer experience   In the knowledge that their information is kept safe by means of disposable numbers, businesses can deliver a delightfully satisfying experience for end users.

Customers tend to give business to brands that offer comfort and assurance and deliver the great and rule out the bad.

“Masked phone numbers guarantee that all the calls received by customers are free from frauds and scams.”

3. Transactional safety One of the benefits of call masking solution is an absolute safety of transactions. When numbers are masked, businesses can comfortably safeguard digital transactions by keeping them within the frontiers of platforms, which enhances the overall safety of monetary exchanges.

Masked phone numbers thus take over the action of platform-limited transactions, preventing buyers and sellers from unsound off-platform transactions that may lead to false operation.

4. Unshackle from spams In the absence of cloud telephony system, customers are prone to receiving spam calls and emails that nag them constantly. However, with special numbers provided by Cloud telephony providers, businesses can be confident that they are specially verified for legal use and protect business information. Customers, on the other hand, will not receive spam and can effectively hide phone numbers from the reach of spammers.

5. Detailed call records and reports By means of call recording and call tracking system afforded by Cloud telephony providers, it is possible to monitor each call initiated to customers and report the conversation.

As a result, businesses can establish sheer transparency about agent’s ability and actions through real-time call reports.

Such number masking solution also enables complete incoming call tracking and confirms whether an agent has indeed contacted customers. They can also be aware of customer feedback and improve their existing service by allowing customers to share their experience and service quality.

Conclusion

Number masking service is not just a luxury, but its pros indicate how important it is for businesses to essentially implement it as a powerful customer retention solution.

By using call masking services, you can steer clear from the need to employ a human operator to connect two parties.

It offers a solution to hide phone numbers of buyers when they attempt to contact an unknown business representative or when an agent approaches customers.

Tackle your existing business challenges and protect sensitive customer data with masked phone numbers.

[obtusemedia]

Ranking Taylor Swift’s albums, worst to best

Taylor Swift is arguably the most successful musician of the 21st century so far. And she’s accomplished her millions of record sales and hordes of fans not by chasing musical trends (well, most of the time), but typically through her strong classical pop sensibilities and evocative lyrics. 

This is what makes Swift unique amongst her fellow popstars — her brand, her selling point, is her songwriting. She doesn’t have powerhouse vocals like Adele or Ariana Grande. She’s not a artsy auteurist like Lady Gaga or Beyoncé. And she doesn’t cannily ride the current sound like Drake or Justin Bieber. Perhaps the only other major popstars that emphasize songwriting first are Ed Sheeran (who’s not nearly as talented) and Lorde (who’s sadly not nearly as successful).

2020 marks both the 10-year anniversary of her transitional album Speak Now, as well as the one-year anniversary of the eclectic Lover. And of course, Swift’s eighth and newest record, folklore, was just released about a month ago.

I figure this year of anniversaries and new music for Swift would be a good time to reflect on her lengthy career and rank her eight albums from worst to best. (And also, it’s still quarantine season. What else am I going to do with my life?)

So here’s my list. Are you ready for it? (sorry, sorry, I had to make that joke)

#8: Taylor Swift (2006)

Despite landing at the bottom of this list, Taylor Swift’s self-titled 2006 debut isn’t a bad record. Any album with pop-country classics like “Picture To Burn” or “Teardrops On My Guitar” can’t be dismissed. But any fan that says it’s a truly great album has been blinded by childhood nostalgia.

Swift’s 16-year-old viewpoint can be endearing on this album, but it’s also its biggest roadblock. Many of the songs have quite maudlin or cliché-ridden lyrics, and the unmemorable non-hits (which are plentiful) all start to sound the same at a certain point. Of course, Swift’s singles are almost always album highlights (and they are here, too), but her best albums also have plenty of hidden gems. The self-titled doesn’t.

Not to mention — and this is where my personal bias creeps in — the self-titled is also Swift’s most country-flavored album. That’s just not my genre, and Swift’s fake twang (remember, she grew up in Pennsylvania, NOT the South) can get grating. 

In hindsight, the self-titled debut was more about flashing glimpses of Swift’s ceilings songwriting talent rather than being a great record in its own right. But if you have a higher tolerance for corny pop-country, it’s a decent listen.

BEST SONGS: “Teardrops On My Guitar,” “Picture To Burn,” “Should’ve Said No”

WORST SONG: “A Place In This World”

#7: Fearless (2008)

Fearless is essentially the self-titled debut pt. 2, but it’s an improvement in just about every way. 

The singles are stronger — and there’s more of them. There’s still some country flavor, but it’s less obnoxious (although I dig those hoedown fiddles on “Tell Me Why”). And there’s actually some solid deep cuts, particularly the adorable “Hey Stephen” and the righteously pissed “Forever & Always.”

Unfortunately, some of Swift’s annoying early-career tendencies still pop up on Fearless. There’s a couple tracks that land on the overly saccharine side of cheesy, particularly the maudlin “The Best Day.” And almost all the classic tunes are front-loaded in the record’s first half. 

Furthermore, because many of the later tracks just sound like weaker versions of the singles, Fearless seems like it goes on forever, despite being one of Swift’s shorter albums at only 53 minutes.

Fearless was a major step up, and its singles are classics for a reason. But she still had some work to do.

BEST SONGS: “Love Story,” “You Belong With Me,” “Hey Stephen”

WORST SONG: “The Best Day”

#6: reputation (2017)

reputation is one of the few albums that’s both underrated and overrated. Its reputation (sorry) amongst the general public as a totally misguided bomb isn’t fair — it’s wildly entertaining and even a bit risky at points. But I really can’t agree with some Swifties who proclaim reputation as her best album, as it does have some deep flaws.

Occasionally, reputation actually is the bonkers, risky album that it wants to be. Tracks like “I Did Something Bad” and “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things” are deliciously poisonous and campy. “Delicate” and “Call It What You Want” are stunningly downcast ballads.

Also — and I’m a tad ashamed to admit this, but whatever — after initially hating it like everyone else, I’ve come to adore “Look What You Made Me Do,” a truly bizarre lead single choice. It’s so delightfully extra! It sounds like a Disney villain song produced by the Black Eyed Peas! I simply can’t resist something this silly and over-the-top.

But despite these highlights, reputation doesn’t as get edgy or weird as it promises. There’s a good handful of forgettable ballads, along with some wannabe bangers with production that already sounds horribly dated. Say what you want about Lady Gaga’s ARTPOP — the precursor to reputation in just about every way, including its semi-flop status — but Gaga went for it.

I’m not asking Swift to be Gaga; obviously, they have wildly different strengths as artists. But if you’re going to make an album all about getting in touch with ~your dark side~, then you better deliver the goods. And reputation stops just short of that for much of its runtime.

BEST SONGS: “Getaway Car,” “Look What You Made Me Do,” “Call It What You Want”

WORST SONG: “King Of My Heart”

#5: folklore (2020)

Easily Swift’s most “adult” album, folklore is probably the biggest outlier in her catalogue so far. There’s no goofy lead single, no fiery diss tracks towards her exes or Kanye West (although there is a subdued one for Scooter Braun), and a good chunk of the album is taken up with short stories, rather than songs primarily inspired by Swift’s personal life.

Like with reputation, I have torn feelings about folklore. On one hand, I really respect Swift’s commitment to the record’s dour, decidedly un-pop aesthetic. Who would’ve thought she’d ever write a shoegaze song like “Mirrorball” or a Sufjan Stevens-style number like “Invisible String” (seriously, it sounds just like Carrie and Lowell, minus the dead-mom lyrics)? Or that her best-ever duet would be with Bon Iver? And the vignette songs like “The Last Great American Dynasty,” “Illicit Affairs” and especially the humbly sweet “Betty” showcase some of Swift’s best-ever songwriting.

But although folklore might be Swift’s pinnacle lyrically, it does leave something to be desired musically. It’s still a great album, don’t get me wrong, but listening to the entire thing can be a bit draining. Unless you’re Lana Del Rey or Sufjan, I’m not sure you can pull off a ballads-only album like this. Swift writing an album without a single bombastic pop jam is like if Nirvana wrote an entire album without a single angsty headbanger.

Playing against type is a nice novelty, but I hope all of Swift’s future albums don’t go in this hushed direction.

BEST SONGS: “betty,” “exile,” “mirrorball”

WORST SONG: “peace”

#4: Speak Now (2010)

In some ways, Speak Now is the training wheels version for Swift’s album that would come next. But it’s still a tour-de-force in its own right, and a remarkably impressive record for someone who wasn’t even of drinking age at the time of release.

The short stories that make up the bulk of Speak Now are rich with details, from the catty and hilarious descriptions of the bride’s family in the title track to the vivid rom-com scene setting in the Springsteen-esque “Mine.” I also love the interesting tweaks on traditional stories that are in the record. “The Story Of Us” is about a slowly-drifting apart couple, rather than a hyper-dramatic breakup. In “Back To December,” Swift takes the blame for a relationship’s end (which was a huge deal back in 2010, let me tell you).

Speak Now is also the first album where Swift started to dabble in some different musical styles, and most of them work quite well! With its wall-of-sound production and heartland guitar crunch, “Sparks Fly” is basically a Tom Petty song. “Enchanted” throws some dreampop synths in the mix. And while “Better Than Revenge” is marred by some rough lyrics that are a bit slut shame-y, it’s still a kickass pop-punk pastiche.

Every time I start to listen to Speak Now, I wonder why it’s not my favorite — the first 10 songs of the record are truly stacked. But unfortunately, it limps to the finish line with its three most forgettable songs and one misguided, insanely patronizing ballad about Kanye West (which is especially disappointing when you compare it to West’s career-defining opus about the 2009 VMAs, “Runaway”). Speak Now is Swift’s longest record, at 67 minutes, and you really feel that length by the time it’s finished.

If it weren’t for a lack of quality control — an issue for pretty much every one of Swift’s albums except one — and a couple aggravating tracks (looking at you, “Mean”), Speak Now would easily be in Swift’s top-tier. But as it stands, it’s still the best record from her country years by a mile.

BEST SONGS: “Sparks Fly,” “Enchanted,” “The Story Of Us”

WORST SONG: “Last Kiss”

#3: Lover (2019)

I think this one has already become underrated. And I put the blame entirely on “ME!” (the song, not the person writing this). What genius thought putting the album’s worst track by far — a tacky, overly focus-grouped mess — as the lead single would be a good idea? And Brandon Urie as the duet partner? Really? Ugh.

But, if you can look beyond that heinous first impression, Lover is a joyous, wonderfully eclectic grab bag of a record. Unlike most of her albums, it doesn’t have one cohesive theme or musical style ... but I find that refreshing.

Granted, Swift didn’t dive too far outside her comfort zone — as interesting as it would be to hear her try it, there’s unfortunately no black metal song. But she still worked with a wide palette of pop subgenres. There’s *takes a deep breath* a ‘50s-style prom ballad (the title track), Chromatics-style dreampop (“The Archer”), Lana Del Rey-style midcentury baroque (“Miss Americana”), Paramore-style peppy pop-punk (“Paper Rings”), Katy Perry-esque so-corny-it’s-brilliant electropop (“London Boy,” “You Need To Calm Down”) and Lorde-style intimate minimalism (“It’s Nice To Have A Friend”). 

And that list doesn’t even mention the impossibly cool “Cruel Summer” (one of only two Swift songs to earn that adjective) and the heart-crushing “Soon You’ll Get Better.” This album is Swift throwing everything at the wall she can, Jackson Pollock-style, and creating a masterpiece.

Seriously, folks — just remove “ME!” from your Spotify queue, and you’ll see exactly how slept on Lover is. It’s what a big-budget pop album should be.

BEST SONGS: “Cruel Summer,” “The Archer,” “I Think He Knows”

WORST SONG: “ME!”

#2: Red (2012)

Surprise, surprise: Swift’s most acclaimed and successful albums are the top of this list. Sometimes, the obvious answers are the correct ones!

Before I get to why Red — many Swifties’ favorite album — just missed the top, let me first praise it profusely. As someone who grew up on arena rock, I have a soft spot for much of this album, which takes cues from U2/Coldplay-style anthems. Even the country-tinged title-track has a propulsive rock edge to it.

Songwriting-wise, Swift was on a hot streak during Red. The melodies soar, but the lyrics are cuttingly relatable — and I don’t just mean that for the weepy ballads. Who among us didn’t feel that 22 was a “miserable and magical” year? Many of us (if we’re lucky) have had at least one promising first date that felt like a ray of hope, like the one in “Begin Again.” And I’m sure we’ve all wanted to tell off an annoying ex as viciously as Swift does in the impeccable “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” (her best single!).

And then there’s “All Too Well,” generally believed to be Swift’s crowning achievement by most fans and critics. They’re right. “All Too Well,” a nearly-six-minute towering epic of seething resentment and tainted nostalgia, is one of the greatest breakup songs ever written.

If there’s one flaw with Red, it’s the same flaw that most of Swift’s records have: its length. Even though nearly every song is a classic, I can still pinpoint a couple mediocre tracks that could’ve been trimmed (oh hi, “Stay Stay Stay”). By the time I get to the Kennedy cosplay of “Starlight,” I’m checking my watch. Which is an awful thing to say about an album this great! But Red is just a tad overindulgent.

Still, even Red’s worst moments are passable, and its best songs are untouchable. This was the moment when Swift finally realized her potential. And then she took it into hyperdrive with her next album...

BEST SONGS: “All Too Well,” “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together,” “Red”

WORST SONG: “Stay Stay Stay”

#1: 1989 (2014)

It feels a little wrong to have the least “Taylor Swift album” Taylor Swift album at the top of this list. More than any of her other records, 1989 feels like it could’ve been performed or written by another pop star.

But 1989 isn’t meant to be yet another Taylor Swift record filled with hyper-specific story songs and quirky, awkward lyrics (except the charmingly goofy “Shake It Off” and the quasi-self-roast of “Blank Space”). It was meant to be a challenge for Swift, to prove that she could create old-school bubblegum pop as catchy and laser-focused as anyone else on the Top 40 charts. And she wound up running laps around them.

1989 is a Millennial-pink tractor beam of synthpop glory. You have no choice but get sucked into its glittery spaceship. From perfect bubblegum nuggets like “All You Had To Do Is Stay” or “I Wish You Would” to gorgeous, sleek ballads like “Wildest Dreams” and “Clean,” every track is a winner. Even “Bad Blood” really isn’t that terrible.

At a brisk 48 minutes, 1989 is Swift’s shortest album, which means she avoids her fatal flaw for once: there’s no filler! It’s all killer!

I can understand why many Swifties prefer Red or even reputation to 1989 — they’re much more personal albums with more relatable lyrics. And I’ll admit, there’s no song on 1989 as perfect as “All Too Well.” But 1989 achieves exactly what a classic pop album should do: deliver bangers and sing-along jams with no weak points.

Red might be a comforting glass of Coke, but 1989 is a sparkling flute of Dom Perignon. What can I say? I have expensive taste.

BEST SONGS: “Style,” “Blank Space,” “All You Had To Do Is Stay”

WORST SONG: “Bad Blood”

[webasmastuff-blog]

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{Lee {explained|defined|described|discussed|spelled out|stated} that {while|whilst|although|even though|when|though} {the overall|the general} beats {of the|from the|in the|on the|with the|of your} {fight|battle|combat|struggle} choreography can’t be altered, he and his {team|group|crew|staff|workforce} {added|additional|extra|included} scrapes, {missed|skipped} punches, {and the|and also the|as well as the|along with the|plus the|as well as} messiness of {fighting|combating|preventing|battling} {in general|generally|normally|on the whole|usually|generally speaking}.|We also use {third|3rd}-{party|celebration|get together|social gathering|occasion|bash} cookies that {help|assist|aid|support|enable|assistance} us {analyze|evaluate|examine|assess|review} and {understand how|know how} {you use|you employ|you utilize} this {website|Web site|Site|Internet site|Web page|Web-site}. These cookies {will be|will probably be|will likely be|is going to be|might be|are going to be} {stored|saved} {in your|inside your|within your|with yo