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#as i don't feel like I can handle it
as-rare-as-trees · 1 year
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Something something about being loved and loved and loved and loved and-
#pls excuse me I just need to *sobs in a corner*#it's about the little things#and finding yourself surrounded with sweet sweet people#and just#okay warning I might do some negative self talk in the following tags so stop here if it's triggering#but like.... i don't have the best relationship with myself and there are these moments where I'll be feeling so low and just feel this#hate-resentment at myself#and somebody does/says something so simply sweet and nice and I just#there's a chant of -I don't deserve this. I don't deserve this love. I don't deserve these loving sweet people.-#and it just brings me to tears to be loved like this#(i know this is something I need to work on)#specifically this afternoon I was feeling kinda shittily#and I had talked with my uni friend about how I was thinking again about dropping this cool practical activity in a lab we've started#as i don't feel like I can handle it#and after a while she was like -while at the supermarket I was thinking about the lab thing and realized that I was with other people#and I talk more to the class in general while you're quieter. And you didn't have me there bothering you and talking in your ear so maybe#that's also why it's harder for you-#(she was in the first group and I am in the second one)#and then she added -I can start sending you messages about random things-#and like#it's such a simple simple thing#but it was so overwhelmingly sweet#i felt so loved#and we barely know each other in a way and yet and yet#(even now I feel the echo of -I don't quite deserve this- but I have to ignore that)#there are many many other moments when I feel overwhelmed by love#it's all about LOVE LOVE LOVE#vaneggiando#a friend just told me -you deserve the world- and I AM IN PIECES DEVASTATED
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ineed-to-sleep · 4 months
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So I've had this wip sitting in my folders for months now and decided to ressurect it to satiate the urge to draw these two again
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starcurtain · 3 days
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Hear me out. I know it's unlikely that Ratio would ever have been foolish enough to directly get taken in by a scam, but considering that we know:
One of the groups specifically tricked by Kakavasha before he joined the IPC was the Intelligentsia Guild
What he tricked them about was Tayzzyronth's Swarm remnants, the exact same thing we see Ratio investigating in his very first appearance in the game, and
The researchers were described as "extremely cautious"
I am surprised that "Ratio was at least somehow connected to the Intelligentsia Guild team fooled by Kakavasha before he was ever even a Stoneheart" isn't more popular with the Ratio and Aventurine fandom.
Like imagine being Dr. Ratio. You tell your colleagues, "This seems like a scam. Are you sure you should trust this 'local guide' you've made contact with? Tell me about him. A picture? Does this even look like an Egyhazan native to you? I won't save you fools from making idiotic decisions." (You end up having to clean up the aftermath of their idiotic decisions anyway. There is sand in places on your body you didn't even know existed before this. How mortifying for the Guild. For you, by association.)
Then, next thing you know, you get a mission briefing slid across your desk from your IPC connections. They want you to work with their new Stoneheart. You open the packet to see... that little bastard with the enthralling eyes who had your moronic colleagues scrambling in the dirt on a backwater planet for months. Apparently he's made a career out of fooling you your supposedly competent guildmates.
You run off to confront him. You never met him personally back then, but you deserve compensation for the idiocy you were subjected to nonetheless. He deserves to know how much of a pain in the ass he's been in your life already without ever having met your eyes--
He proceeds to shove a gun into your hands and tries to make you an accomplice to a suicide. Apparently, this is normal behavior for the man now called Aventurine. Somehow, it's supposed to prove to you that he is a sane and reliable individual.
Absolutely nothing in your life has been normal since Egyhazo.
You would like to have mundane problems, sometimes.
How do you keep ending up in this beautiful manic clever conman's orbit, and why, like binary stars, can you not escape the gravitational pull?
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milimeters-morales · 8 months
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Miles and his "rarely feel hungry, just the side effects of not eating" autism and Hobie's "never know when to stop eating" autism and Gwen's "so many bad textures I fight to keep it down" autism all talking to each other about this and about to learn that no, this isn't how everybody eats at all
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sometiktoksarevalid · 2 months
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softpine · 16 days
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i like how we all collectively agreed that covid does not exist in any of our sims stories
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erabu-san · 9 days
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What ships with Tighnari would you consider?
i won't tell anything because I am scared of being cooked
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taffywabbit · 3 months
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i just woke up so i haven't actually watched the pokemon direct thingy yet, but i heard they mentioned they aren't pushing out another console release at all for 2024 and if that's true then frankly THAT news is way more hype than any actual game announcement could ever be. go girl let us wait!! this is genuinely what i've been begging for for years now
like, oh a new Legends game? that's neat i guess. oh wait it's being given literally ANY time to cook and they aren't crunching Game Freak to hell and back in order to pump out a bunch of half-baked annual releases for the first time in ages?? NOW we're fuckin talking. LOVE to see the torturous cycle broken
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collieii · 1 year
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i'm sure it's been said but i do love how trimax handles wolfwoods death. i've seen so many stories that have characters die and they just go away after. i'm really used to stories where the other characters aren't allowed to grieve, the story keeps going and it feels like the other characters aren't really affected or get over it really easily. but in trimax wolfwoods death is so important. we see other characters grieving him. vash protecting the orphanage, expanding his power when he really shouldn't, because it was wolfwood's home, even though wolfwood is already gone. he gets an actual burial. vash and livio eating their way through the grief, which is more comedic but still shows us how important he was to the two of them, sets up how in many ways they're fighting in his memory.
even after he's gone he's still present in the story in such a strong way. we can see how he's affected the other characters, even when they don't explicitly mention him it's obvious that they're thinking about him. what he did when he was alive, and his death itself, are so important to the story even after he's not there. not just in a really abstract "this is someone we lost" way (though there are a lot of times his death and sacrifice motivate vash and livio to fight harder!) he's present in the finale in a material way to livio, who uses his serums to help fight against elendira, which ofc also ties into the way wolfwoods choice to ally with vash and fight against knives gave livio strength to do the same. wolfwood showed him that there are things worth fighting for, things worth protecting. that your body is a weapon, but you can choose what to do with it, use it for something meaningful.
and the way vash kills legato in order to save livio? vash outright says that he did it to protect what wolfwood fought for, sacrificed his life for. it's tied to the ongoing arc between vash and wolfwood, their conflict over the necessity of killing others. wolfwood pushed vash into having an understanding of his views when he was alive, demonstrating the necessity of that violence. simultaneously, vash inspired wolfwood to follow his path, a kinder one. vash remembers what wolfwood said to him, and his death gives those words added poignancy. wolfwood well and truly sacrificed everything to protect what he loved and fight for what he believed in. how can vash let that go to waste? he sacrifices something just as meaningful to himself, and he pulls the trigger. it brings him closer to wolfwood in a way he never was before. he understands now, fundamentally, what motivates people, motivated wolfwood, to act as he did when he took lives. there are so many other ways wolfwood is present in the story after his death i can't talk about all of them but it makes me so crazy
#trigun#trigun maximum#nicholas d. wolfwood#not to say that there aren't lots of stories that handle character death well bc there are!#i am by no means an expert in media but in my experience esp with like#action anime in particular it can be p common for important characters to die and then their death is just not processed at all#i know that stories have to keep things moving but it feels so weird when characters don't grieve or even cry at least a little!#like that was a person that you knew! are you not affected in any way!#it can feel so dehumanizing to me imo when characters bounce back so quickly after someone they knew died like c'mon#at least to me anyways#that's why i love the scene where vash cries after ww dies in 98 too. maybe i just don't consume enough media where characters die#but i was really surprised that they included that! surprised and pleased. it felt like such a human thing for him to do#to try and pretend everything is ok but he just can't ignore the fact that ww is dead and it just hits him#right there in the street in the middle of the day. and there's not anything he can do but cry. ugh#.lieii#trigun analysis#trigun livio#vash the stampede#trigun meta#.lieii txt#honestly i haven't read the finale arc in a while so i don't want to talk too in depth about it#but it is really excellent how present he is. without being present#talking about trimax is so hard bc there's so much. so many themes#me when a story has themes: GRAAH#like every post i make this is rambling and doesn't have much of a point but do you get what i'm saying#come to collieii hq where you get an essay in the post and another much worse essay in the tags#trimax spoilers
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dancefloors · 3 months
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trying not to get irked by swiftie media illiteracy. I've retired! I'm out of the game!! but some of you are very stupid
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tmascfaggot · 1 month
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so generally i'm very picky about topping. that's why i don't rly call myself a switch cuz i'm so. peculiar about it. and i did some thinking on it last night and i think i kinda realized what the line is where topping becomes uncomfortable for me
there can't be anything in it for me. the dom cannot do a coy like 'oh you must secretly love this' angle or anything. that stresses me out. i'm doing this purely as service. and i mean that lovingly! i wouldn't be doing it at all if they weren't someone i was comfortable with!!! but the ONLY pleasure i derive from topping is seeing how good they feel in response, especially if they've expressed a sort of 'oh i've needed this' type of mood abt it
like genuinely and for real when i am topping i am just a toy. like fully i am an object. my enjoyment doesn't need to be considered. this is for YOU it's for you and you alone do not factor me into this okay
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bonefall · 7 months
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longtime dc fan and i think a lot of people are angry because alex is obviously one of the most culturally relevant instances of misogyny in media. that being said being more culturally relevant doesn’t mean it’s the worst instance of misogyny and i think bumble definitely experiences more profound misogyny in the way the actual content is presented, if that makes sense
I get you, and that's a charitable way of looking at it.
I think what's rustling my jimmies is that like, there was a couple of WC fans being mildly dismissive of Alex in that note minefield, after dozens of comments of "fuck you how could you let the fridge woman lose" and "Bumble didn't deserve to win ANY rounds" and "how could A CAT experience misogyny." But then WE get blamed for the toxicity because THEY were butthurt that the Funny Cat People have the 'audacity' to win something they feel entitled to.
Like, we've gotta be endlessly charitable as we get openly insulted because they're upset about Alex losing, a very well-known and culturally relevant character with a legacy so massive we have a whole term named after her. But condemnations of "She's just a cat, letting WC into this poll was a mistake, Bumble can't even be a victim of misogyny" only started coming around once I started talking about it.
as if it's OUR fault people got passive-aggressive or even OPENLY aggressive towards us, and that we're "just as bad" for retaliating
But like you said, it's not a "Most Culturally Relevant Misogyny" tournament, it's a "Canon Misogyny Victims" tournament. And you're not even supposed to give a shit that Bumble died. The fat, woman abuse victim is beaten to death by a dictator, and your takeaway is meant to be, "It's so sad that Clear Sky is being blamed for murdering her, now they're all preparing for self-defense against a homicidal maniac, oh nooo :("
And I think that DOES make her deserve the win here! Alex is a MARTYR. Everyone with a brain agrees what happens to her is bad. It happened in her canon because it was bad. We talk about her and keep her memory alive. Bumble gets dismissed entirely out of hand because she's "just a cat in a kid's book" as if that doesn't make it worse, and as if the kid's book didn't treat a domestic abuse survivor like a moron for even asking for help.
Anyway, just to reiterate, I love DC fans. It's not all of you guys. Alex was done dirty and deserves justice-- and it's even kind of a shame that all she became is "The Fridge Woman." I haven't even heard people talk about how she was a wary, responsible person who was still ready to rock with Kyle's new weird glowstick powers, or that she was a journalist, or that she just got brought back in another edition as a Green Lantern only to be revealed as an illusion and re-absorbed back into Kyle's mind. Nope. Even her fans just remember her as The Fridge Woman.
#She wasn't even ONLY brought back as a green lantern btw she also came back as....#full disclosure I'm not a DC fan this is from My Best Friend + Wiki Education#...as a cool ass evil zombie black lantern#Only for Kyle to have to put her down like Old Yeller#Because he can't handle her Zomgirl Swag#How cunty of me would it be actually if. IF. Bumble sweeps the whole tournament and I go back and write whole essays for--#how each one of her opponents were worthy adversaries and explain exactly how deep the misogyny of canon went against them#Bones ''King of Women Appreciation'' Fall#Especially Chichi actually. If it had been Alex vs Chichi I would have gone to bat for Chichi.#Chichi was done dirtier than Alex. And also I would go PRETTY hard for my girl Android 18#And ACTUALLY? One of the WORST victims of DB's misogyny? Don't @ me? Gine. Goku's mom#Behold my race of evil monkey space soldiers and how their violent nature has been exploited by a galactic capitalist dictator#Look at how in-depth I go to suggest them overcoming their battle-centric nature and show how in a different context this can be--#--applied for heroic ends#Watch the death of my main character's father and show how his last thought was comforted only by visions of how his son would one day--#overcome the dictator and avenge his death#Only for that to have been subverted because Goku didn't actually give a shit about revenge. Frieza simply threatened his friends.#NEVERMIND!! HIS MOM COULDN'T HAVE BEEN BLOODTHIRSTY BECAUSE SHE'S WOMAN#HOW CAN YOU FEEL BAD FOR THE DEATH OF A WOMAN. A WHOLE PLANET. IF HER HUSBAND DOESN'T LOVE HER AND SHE ISN'T A PERFECT LOVING MOTHER#SHUT UP SHUT UP. GINE KILL THIS MAN#10000 GUNS IN GINE'S HANDS#ouuugh and her husband saved her sooo many times on their expeditions because she sucks and thats why they fell in love :) PERISH. DIE#BAD TORIYAMA. BAD.#JAIL FOR TORIYAMA 10000 YEARS#And Saiyans apparently didn't even really develop romantic bonds between mates but nuuuuh#Gotta have these two be a perfect husbandwife pair with their little nuclear family#Anyway. Aromantic Vegeta with Bulma as QPR partner and coparent be upon ye#stop teasing me by retconning romantic feelings into ur aromantic alien species to ship them im a shaking chihuahua.#also ur all lucky we're not going to be facing Sakura in the next round guys#Sakura is my fucking white whale
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adobe-outdesign · 8 months
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GameFreak's Pokemon dialogue simulator
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the-witchhunter · 8 months
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DP x DC: Dan
So I have a lot of thoughts about Dan, and just so we're clear I haven't read the new comic yet so not sure how the new material affects his character
Dan is a character that in DPxDC is see being just casually there... which is wild in context of his character because he was like suuuuper evil. Like i get liking his character and wanting to include him, but it rarely makes sense, sometimes it does, but man we love to do a handwavy "after his redemption arc" thing without actually talking about his redemption arc
So, let's give him a redemption arc, and lets make it get pretty gay
So stages of grief, I'm going to outright misuse it intentionally so don't tell me I'm using it wrong, I am well aware it is about coming to terms with your own death. Let's say in ultimate enemy, he was in the stage of Anger. He was angry. Angry at himself, at the world, at the stupid ghosts that messed up his life, he was angry and he took that out on everyone. Now here he is, his family is alive, his friends are alive, and he still is angry, but at himself. He can't go back to them, he's literally a whole other person than the Danny they know
So self destructive spiral. He's hard partying, hard drinking, waking up in a random gutter in Gotham, and doing it all again. He might also be dabbling in other illicit substances. The point is, if he wasn't already dead his behavior would lead to a quick grave
So we have this miserable, sad sack of a man who has done terrible things regularly abusing alcohol(and maybe more)
Now there's another character that had a similar issue. One Red Arrow turned Arsenal and his heroin addiction...
So who better to find Dan than the same man that got Roy sober and sponsored him?
That's right, Waylon Jones aka Killer Croc
To large, beefy, grumpy men with goodness hidden inside them bonding, maybe falling in love? all while Waylon helps Dan work through his emotional baggage and get clean
it has everything:
angst, emotions, bonding, gay, and potentially a happy ending for two former villains
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thethingything · 3 months
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as a side note on the morality OCD thing, filtering phrases like "reblog if", "if you can't reblog this", "can and should reblog", "reblog this version", etc has helped immensely with not seeing as much of the guilt tripping bullshit on here. there are probably more but these are the ones on our filtered post content list so far.
also if you're on desktop, the Xkit Rewritten extension has a "tweaks" section for a bunch of dashboard stuff that includes the options "use a slim layout for filtered posts" which makes those posts take up less space, and "hide filtered posts entirely" so they don't show up on your dash at all if you need that option
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calamity-unlocked · 1 year
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I'm feeling a lot of feelings for the Doodler right now.
Like, this incomprehensible being found itself unable to cope with the complexity and weight of human emotions, so it locked those feelings away for its own sake. But now those emotions are coming back all of a sudden - so far in a very violent, unkind way.
After years and years of the gentle numbness of chaos, to have fear and love returned to you without a moment's notice, at the suffering of others... call me normal oak the way i empathize, but it just seems like a lot.
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