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aomine-ryo · 4 years

Note

hi!! could i please request aomine + kise w a super insecure s/o but she doesn’t really say anything about it? but overtime the boys see how closed off she seems w everything ? aaa sorry if this doesn’t make sense

It made sense, don’t worry!! I hope you like this x

Scenario: Kise and Aomine with an insecure s/o

Kise

You loved dating Kise— you really did. As someone who had tendencies to worry about what others thought of you as well as be over-critical on yourself, being with him was quite refreshing. His bubbly personality and constant reassurance definitely helped you gain some self-love that you probably wouldn’t have been able to find without him.

There was one issue though. Kise was a rather popular person, being a model and all. For the first few months of your relationship, you managed to stay hidden by not going out in public with him too often. Of course, the two of you couldn’t always have dates at each other’s houses because there were so many places Kise wanted to take you, so you slowly began to go out together.

It didn’t take long for rumours to go around about your relationship, considering Kise’s popularity as a model was growing quite rapidly at this point. At first, you didn’t mind too much because they were just rumours and no one could confirm nor deny it per say. Furthermore, you felt quite happy knowing that Kise was all yours, and that you were in a relationship where you lifted each other up, so what others said about it wasn’t something you were concerned about.

However, that was until people started sneaking pictures of the two of you in public. You didn’t notice anything as it happened because you were caught up with Kise, but a few hours after you returned home, your social media was plastered with mentions as people tagged you in photos with your boyfriend. Looking at the surge of those photos made you begin to feel overwhelmed. You couldn’t help but read what people had to say about it, even though you knew you’d probably regret it.

At first, you didn’t really see anything too bad. Things like ‘Oh a new couple! How cute’ and ‘They’re adorable together, Kise-kun looks so happy’ seemed to be scattered amongst more surprised and sceptical comments that questioned the validity of the photos. And then you found the hate.

‘Yikes. Why is Kise dating someone like that?’, ‘No offense but Kise can do better’, ‘Did they pay Kise to date them or something? I never imagined him actually dating someone like that lol’ along with many other comments of that sort was soon all you saw. The nicer comments that were sprinkled here and there suddenly lost all its value as the meaner ones were all you seemed to look at.

You switched your phone off and put it aside as you began to feel your throat close up. As your brain began to question your self worth, a few tears managed to escape, even though you were trying so hard not to let it get to you. Maybe they were right? was all you could think about as you slowly but surely beat yourself up about it.

“Y/N-cchi! Are you free after school?” Kise chirped as you met up with him at recess a few days later.

“Probably. Why?”

“Let’s go on a date! There’s this boba café nearby that I think you’d really like,” he said with a smile, cheery as ever.

“I’m not sure. I think I’ll have to pass,” you said softly. You really didn’t want any more online attention than you were already getting.

“Why not?” he pouted.

You looked up at his frowning face and felt a wave of guilt. You made him sad. The comments were right. You don’t deserve him. “I just don’t feel like it,” you shrugged, pinching yourself.

“You’ll feel better when you try their drinks— trust me. It’ll be fun,” Kise said, giving you a smile that never failed to make your heart melt.

With a heavy sigh, you nodded slightly, “Alright I guess we can go then.”

Kise’s face lit up once again as his arms wrapped around you so tight that you felt like you couldn’t even breathe. “Yay, a date with Y/N-cchi!” he sang.

After school, the two of you walked to the cafe together. The weather was quite pleasant, and the bright yellow sun definitely improved your mood ever so slightly. As you walked, Kise took your hand in his like he usually would, but almost instantly, you pulled it away from him, gaining a look of confusion in response.

“What’s wrong, Y/N-cchi?” Kise asked, concerned.

“It’s nothing. My palms are just a bit sweaty, so I don’t think you’d wanna hold my hand,” you lied. You couldn’t help but be on edge in the case that someone was watching you.

“They felt fine to me, don’t worry about that,” Kise said, reaching for your hand once again.

You couldn’t really think of anything else to say to refuse without garnering any questions from him, so you reluctantly let him hold your hand, looking around anxiously. This keeping an eye out lasted for quite some time and Kise seemed to notice that your attention wasn’t fully directed towards him like it normally would be.

“Y/N-cchi, are you really sure everything is okay? You’ve barely even looked at me today,” Kise said as the two of you sipped on your drinks in the cafe.

“I’m fine,” you answered simply, over-correcting your actions by focusing on Kise and pretending everything was okay.

“Really? You seem really nervous,” Kise said.

“Ryouta, I’m fine, don’t worry,” you said, trying to sound as reassuring as possible.

“If there’s ever anything worrying you, you can tell me,” he said sincerely, placing his hand on top of yours and giving it a tight squeeze. “You know that, right?”

For a moment you really considered telling him what’s been bothering you, but you were afraid. You thought that it was really stupid of yourself to get affected so much by something like this and you didn’t want him to judge you for it— even though you were aware that he’d never do that.

“I know,” you nodded as you leaned back in your seat, filled with uncertainty and regret.

Once again, when you got back home, you were met with even more pictures of you and Kise from your date. You noticed that you had a frown on your face in pretty much all the photos. And of course the comments seemed to notice too.

‘lol his date doesn’teven look like they want to be there’, ‘that person looks annoying, why’s Kise dating someone like that’, ‘if I were with Kise I’d probably pay more attention to him than they are’.

Day by day, the comments increased. Kise’s agency managed to be able to keep the tabloids relatively silent about it. There were small articles here and there, but none of them were all too bad. However, there was no way they could control what was being said on the internet. Kise did call you up to remind you not to be too concerned about what people were saying. In fact, he urged you to do what he does and avoid the comment sections completely. But at that point, it was already too late. Looking at what others said about you online quickly became a daily thing, sending you down a spiral of self-destruction that only got worse.

Slowly, you began to avoid going outside and started making more and more excuses to not go out with Kise. You did still really like spending time with him, but the only time you were truly comfortable was when you were somewhere private with no other people around, and that wasn’t something Kise could do too often because he liked going outside.

He’d invite you to hang out with his friends every so often but you’d always refuse, saying that you were too busy. In all honesty, you hated lying to him but you felt like you had to.

One afternoon, you were laying down in bed after a tiring day of school and scrolling through comments yet again, when you heard the doorbell ring. It was Kise.

“Ryouta? What are you doing here?” you asked with a confused expression. “Don’t you have practice?”

“Yeah but you didn’t come to watch so I got worried,” Kise explained as he stepped into your house. “What happened, Y/N-cchi? You always watch my practice.”

“I’m sorry, I just didn’t feel too well,” you replied, your eyes fixed on the floor.

“What? Are you okay?” Kise asked, in a slightly panicked tone as his hand immediately reached for your forehead to check your temperature. “You seem fine.”

You responded with nothing but silence as you pursed your lips and continued to stare at the floor as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

Kise leaned down to try and meet your gaze. “Y/N-cchi, what’s really going on? You’ve been really distant lately. Have you gotten tired of me or something?” Kise asked, his usual cheery voice suddenly going all soft.

“No, it’s nothing like that,” you shook your head, surprised that he’d even think of something like that.

“Then what is it?”

“I don’t know,” you mumbled.

“Y/N-cchi, please tell me what’s going on so that I can help. I really hate seeing you like this. I can’t remember the last time I saw a genuine smile from you, which sucks because I really like your smile,” Kise said as he cupped your face in his hands and tilted your head up to look at him in the eye.

You felt tears well up in your eyes as you thought back to all the things you’ve read about yourself. Kise genuinely cared for you and you told yourself yet again that you really don’t deserve him. “I just don’t feel very confident going out so much with you,” you admitted softly.

“What? Why’s that?” Kise asked, amber eyes filled with concern and worry.

“Because there are people who sneak photos of us and post them online. And the comments are always just so... mean,” you said, your voice breaking as tears began to roll down your cheeks.

“Didn’t I tell you not to look at those? What did they say?”

“T-That I’m not good enough for you, and that I don’t deserve you,” you replied, sobbing like a baby at this point.

“And you’re going to believe what a bunch of random people say about you?” Kise said, which silenced you for a moment as you thought about it. “Listen Y/N-cchi, you’re beautiful and kind and one of the most caring people I’ve ever met. I’m the luckiest person in the world because I get to call you mine. If anything, I don’t deserve you— I mean it. No one could ever make me think that you’re not good enough because in my eyes you’re my everything,” Kise said, voice so soft and tender that it just filled your body with warmth.

“Are you sure?” you asked, unable to process the fact that this boy had so much love for you.

Kise pecked your lips and gave you a smile. “I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.”

“I’m sorry for not talking about it to you sooner and acting so aloof,” you said.

“It’s okay. We can take it slow and just spend more time alone, alright?” Kise said as he wiped your tears away with his thumb.

“Yeah, that would be nice,” you sniffled.

“I hope you can see yourself the way I see you someday. You’re really amazing, Y/N-cchi. I love you so goddamn much,” he said, honey eyes full of care and sincerity as he placed a soft kiss on your forehead.

You couldn’t help but smile at the sound of those words that made your heart skip a beat, “I love you too, Ryouta.”

Kise’s face brightened up again as he too began to grin, “There’s that gorgeous smile— I’ve missed it.”

Aomine

Aomine was aware that you had times where you felt insecure every now and then and of course, he did his best to minimise it and check up on you to make sure you were alright. He seemed to be doing a fairly good job as well because your confidence was rather stable for a while.

One of the main reasons he’d always check up on you was because he was really slow on picking up when you did feel insecure. You were the kind of person to sit quietly and deal with your issues by yourself rather than reach out for help so that made it slightly difficult for him sometimes. Along with being slow at noticing, Aomine was often one to take things for granted. So when you seemed to be all happy and confident, he’d slowly begin checking up on you lesser and lesser.

You never realised how much you valued the attention from him though until it began to reduce. You seemed to have become emotionally dependent on Aomine and by the time you realised it, it was a little too late.

Slowly, as days went by, you began to feel more and more unsure about yourself as Aomine got busier. The Winter Cup was just around the corner and he was caught up with practices that he didn’t have as much time to tend to you. Nevertheless, he still went out of his way to call you up or visit you during his free time, though that time was never enough for you to open up about how you felt.

You weren’t sure when it happened, but before you knew it, your mind was clouded with dark thoughts that criticised your appearance and abilities. You’d often stand in front of the mirror and pick yourself apart piece by piece, feeling nothing but hatred towards the person that looked back at you.

You stopped enjoying the things you’d normally enjoy too. Things like art and reading became a burden as every time you’d pick up a pencil, you’d hate every stroke you made, and you couldn’t immerse yourself into books anymore because your mind would only just wander off into thoughts about the things you wanted to escape.

“Hey babe, how are you doing today?” Aomine said when you picked up his phone call one evening.

“I’m okay, are you heading back from practice?” you asked, able to hear a faint sound of footsteps in the background.

“Yep. I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever,” he sighed.

“Didn’t you see me in school today?” You pointed out.

“Barely. Besides, that was hours ago. I miss you,” Aomine said.

“I miss you too,” you replied, hearing his voice somehow put a small smile on your face.

“Can we FaceTime instead? I want to see you,” he requested, which immediately wiped the smile away.

“I don’t think so,” you said, shaking your head even though he couldn’t see you.

“Why not? You can’t just keep that pretty face to yourself, you know. It’s not fair.”

“I look anything but pretty, trust me,” you said, playing it off as a joke even though you actually meant it.

“Oh come on. Please?”

“I said no, Daiki,” you snapped suddenly, shocking both you and Aomine. You definitely didn’t want to put yourself on video, however you didn’t realise how defensive you were about it until that point. But you stood by it.

There was a moment of silence as you took in what just happened before Aomine let out a heavy sigh. “Alright. It’s fine then I guess,” he said. There was definitely a change in his tone after that. What was previously an energetic and happy sound, was now more lukewarm and mellow, and you couldn’t help but feel responsible for it.

And now there was one more thing for you to beat yourself up over.

Aomine finally had a few days off of practice, and of course, the first thing he wanted to do was spend time with you. So he called you up.

“Hey, do you want to go out for a movie or something? I finally have some free time,” Aomine asked you.

“Um, I’m not sure. I don’t think I feel too well,” you said. The last place you wanted to go was outside. You had to walk to the convenience store the other day and you absolutely hated it because you felt like everyone was judging you in some way or the other, even though in reality, no one really looked at you for more than a second.

“Really? Is everything okay? Do you need to go to the doctor?”

“No, it’s nothing like that. I guess I’m just not feeling up to it,” you said.

“Then how about we do something tomorrow?” he suggested.

“I don’t know...”

“Y/N, I barely get to see you anymore. Are you sure you’re not avoiding me or something?” Aomine questioned, being more straightforward not to mask his hurt.

“I’m not.”

“Then why don’t you want to spend time with me?”

“I don’t know,” you mumbled, feeling overwhelmed at the pressure you felt to not make him hate you even more.

“Y/N, that’s not an answer,” he sighed.

You responded with silence as you finally decided to shut yourself up before you made things worse. With one more disappointed sigh, Aomine ended the call. The sound of the ringing finally caused you to break down into tears. You finally reached rock bottom. You chased away the one person who actually cared about you. He probably hates you now too.

Meanwhile, Aomine was striding towards your house after ending the phone call. It may have been a bit cruel to just cut it without saying a goodbye, but the frustration just took over. You weren’t even responding at that point so Aomine just decided to see what was wrong for himself. It took you a while to answer the door, and when you did, there was a forced smile on your tear stained face as you let him in.

“I’m sorry for cutting the call short. What’s wrong, Y/N?” he asked.

No response. You just stared at the floor.

Aomine’s hand reached for your cheek, “Hey, were you crying—“

He stopped when you flinched and shifted away before he could lay a finger on you. “I’m fine, it’s nothing,” you said coldly, wrapping your arms around your body and clenching your shirt.

“You won’t even let me touch you. Did I do something wrong?” Aomine asked, trying to think about whether or not he’d done anything to upset you recently. However, nothing added up as he barely saw you— there was no way he could’ve done anything.

You hated every moment of this. All you could think about was how you probably looked awful at that moment. He came so suddenly that you didn’t get a chance to fix yourself. Furthermore, you’d just been crying so you probably looked like a train wreck. He is definitely thinking about how bad I look, you thought. You didn’t want to find out though, so you just avoided all eye contact.

“You’re really not going to even talk to me?” Aomine asked, and as he expected there was yet again no response. He sighed. “Fine then. I’m not leaving your house until you tell me what’s going on.”

You watched as Aomine walked further into your house. He went straight into the kitchen, and you, not knowing what else to do, trailed behind him as he began to check the cabinets.

“I’m starving. Have you eaten lunch yet?” Aomine turned his head to look over at you. You shook your head. “Alright. I’ve been learning how to cook. I’m not guaranteeing a gourmet meal, but it should be edible... hopefully,” he said, beginning to pull out different ingredients.

“I’m not hungry,” you mumbled.

“Did you eat breakfast?”

“No.”

“Yeah I thought so. I’m making us some food,” he said dismissively.

You knew Aomine was stubborn so you didn’t try to argue any more because he’d make it no matter what you say.

You watched him walk up and down the kitchen and do his thing in silence. You really weren’t sure what he was trying to make. There were so many different ingredients that just didn’t make sense, but you just stood and watched.

About half an hour went by without a word from either of you. Aomine began humming a song as he stood over the stove, which strangely made you feel more at ease. As he stirred the pot, he seemed so harmless that you began to finally calm down and build up the courage to tell him.

Almost as if he could read your mind, he finally spoke up, “You ready to say something to me yet?

Another moment of silence passed by as you bit your lip in hesitation. Aomine was just about to let out another disappointed sigh when you muttered, “I’ve just been feeling really insecure lately.”

Hearing your voice caught Aomine off guard for a moment. Even though he was the one who asked you to speak up, a part of him was expecting nothing to happen yet again. He switched off the stove, wiped his hands and turned to face you, leaning against the counter as he did so. “Insecure? About what?”

“I don’t know. I just hate how I look. And everything I do feels so inadequate. Plus I haven’t gotten to see you in a while so I got the feeling that you probably hate me by now. I’m acting like a brat now, after all,” you said, voice soft but the pain was evident.

“I want to start off by saying, I could never hate you. You’re always on my mind Y/N. Why do you think I like to call you so much? Actually, why do you think I came all the way over here? It’s because I care about you,” he said.

You finally looked up at him again. He looked as gorgeous as ever. And this dark blue eyes were gentle and caring. Maybe you were overthinking it.

Aomine took you getting your eyes off the floor as a good sign. So he took a few steps closer to you. “And I get how you feel about the other stuff. I feel like that too sometimes. But honestly, I find you absolutely beautiful. I really don’t know how much weight my words have, but that’s what I think. You’re also so smart and talented, I really just think you need to be a little kinder to yourself,” he continued.

And just like that, the waterworks went for round two. You didn’t know how much you needed to hear those words until right then.

Aomine felt his heart ache at the sight of you in this state. He hesitated for a moment because of what happened when he tried to touch you earlier, but he soon wrapped his arms around you and hugged you tight. Almost immediately, you too wrapped your arms around him and sobbed into his chest, the smell of his cologne making you feel safe at your most vulnerable moment.

“I’m so sorry for being so distant. I’ve been so awful. I should’ve talked to you,” you cried. It was a bit difficult for Aomine to understand what you were saying through the tears but he processed it a few moments later as his fingers brushed through your hair reassuringly.

“Shh, it’s okay,” he said softly as he pulled away and held your shoulders so he could look you in the eye. “I’m just glad you told me.”

You nodded as you tried to stop yourself from crying.

“Here,” Aomine said, as he pulled off the black dog tag necklace he wore and put it around your neck. “It’s not much, but think of it as a reminder that you’re always amazing in my eyes.”

You felt your heart burst as you became teary-eyed again, except this time it was out of gratefulness.

“...is that too lame?” Aomine asked as he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly when you didn’t say anything.

You immediately shook your head. “No, it means a lot. I-I love you.”

A smile spread across Aomine’s face. “I love you too, Y/N,” he said. “Alright, I’m gonna finish making our food, okay?”

“Sure,” you nodded as you watched him return to the stove. “But, can I ask what exactly you’re trying to make?”

“Um, ramen?”

You began to giggle, “Babe, I don’t think you should put tomato sauce in ramen.”

“Oh, right... I knew that.”

#kuroko no basket #kurokos basketball #kuroko no basket x reader #aomine daiki #aomine daiki x reader #kise ryouta #kise ryota x reader #knb #generation of miracles

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variousqueerthings · 3 years

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Daniel LaRusso: A Queer Feminine Fairytale Analysis Part Three of Three

(another massive, massive thank you to @mimsyaf )

part 1

part 2

8. Queerness and femininity and masculinity and the colour red and *record breaks*

If we spin the record aaalll the way back to this paragraph: “…looking at what it is girls and women in fairytales have/don’t have, what they want, and how they’re going to get it. It’s about power (lack of), sexuality (repressed, then liberated), and men.” Reading Daniel as a repressed, bisexual boy in a society that doesn’t accept his desires it’s interesting looking at how he moves through the world of the Miyagi-verse, at how threatened other men are by him, at how obsessed they are with him.

He’s out in the symbolic woods and these large boys and men see him and decide for whatever plot reasons to come for him. And they are large and violent and attractive and apart from Johnny again, they don’t have the nebulous excuse of fighting over a girl and even that excuse dies by around the midpoint when Johnny kisses Ali just to get a rise out of Daniel. He’s not trying to “win her back,” he’s not even really looking at her. He’s just trying to get a reaction. They don’t have any of the fighters in Rocky’s excuse either of Daniel being a macho opponent.

You can read whatever subtext into TKK1 and TKK2 (which becomes especially tempting once CK confirmed that the guys he fought at seventeen have been thinking about him ever since – for thirty-five years), but TKK3 is where it’s really At in terms of obsession and lust and forbidden desires.

Silver is presented as both a handsome prince who saves Daniel and mentors him (where Miyagi is undoubtedly cast in a fatherhood role) and later on becomes twisted into a dark secret that Daniel has to keep, while he turns that thing that Daniel loves (karate, it’s… it’s karate… it’s also men, but it’s definitely karate, because karate makes him feel… things...) into an abusive, violent version of itself.

A wolf in sheep’s clothing.

But he’s also offering him something liberating. Whatever is going on in that nightclub scene is about something other than breaking Daniel down. Even the bloodied knuckles aren’t just about revenge. It’s about giving him something that he isn’t, in the end, willing to receive, at least not from Silver. In that roundabout, strange way of these feminine fairytales, it’s exploring hidden desires through the metaphor of karate.

Daniel wears red because it’s his colour. In the movies he wears red a lot. Often in scenes with violence in them (the beach/the hilltop in TKK1 and the date/the destruction of the dojo/the final fight in TKK2), but he also has a variety of shirts (and in TKK3 pants) that pop up all the way through the narrative. He wears a red jacket when he accepts Terry’s training, when he punches a guy in the face, and when he tries to get out of the training again (as badly as that goes).

Did anyone consciously think about red’s link to desire, obsession, and violence when they made these? Eh. But is it there symbolically? When he meets Johnny, when he fights Chozen, when he’s in emotionally fraught situations with Terry? Hell yeah.

Probably the most lust-and-violence infused red is that aforementioned punching-board-until-knuckles-bleed bit – not that I thought Terry was going to pull him in for a kiss, because I knew, logically, of course he wouldn’t right? There’s no way… is there? Or later on when Daniel punches that guy and ends up with blood all over his shirt and Terry once more grasps him, euphorically. Blood is violence. Blood is also desire. Red is Daniel’s colour, even though he doesn’t acknowledge it come Cobra Kai. (Maybe he just needs someone else - cough Johnny Lawrence cough - to inspire it in him again).

Daniel LaRusso’s narrative is exploring that most feminine of fairytale tropes: To want and be wanted by monsters and having to hide those desires.

“Maybe this time that strange churning in my stomach that feels like a mix of anticipation and fear will turn out good for me.” - Daniel’s mind.

At the end of the story, Daniel saves himself, with all of the strange mixed narratives around it, and the acknowledgement that the end of The Karate Kid Part Three isn’t satisfying and its aftermath will likely be delved into in the next season of Cobra Kai.

Nevertheless, he saves himself. Not from Silver or Kreese or Barnes, and not entirely, but he makes a decision not to give in to fear (and he continues to try and live by that decision, making it over and over again for the next thirty-five years, even when the return of Cobra Kai makes that difficult for him).

He doesn’t do it by being the strongest in the land or even through a lucky shot (although that too). He does it by refusing to be like the male antagonists that surround him, by telling them they have no power over him. The narrative isn’t just his getting lost in the forest and all the monsters he finds there, it’s about how he redefines power for himself within that forest.

He’s a man who isn’t violent, whose victories include helping out a girl whose ex-boyfriend just broke her radio, successfully doing the moves to a cultural dance he’s trying to learn, sitting with his father figure while he cries over the death of his own father, telling a girl that she’s just made her first friend, and breathing a sigh of relief that a tree that got broken has healed.

Daniel LaRusso is a good boy is the point!

Karate is a metaphor. It can turn into many things: A series of lessons learned about how to be his own man and take care of his own house, a respect for the history of the father teaching him and sharing his home and story with him, fear, desire, masculinity (and the different forms that can take).

When a tall, handsome stranger offers to teach him karate in the dark, without Daniel’s caretaker knowing how to help him, and twists that karate into something that hurts him - when he reclaims that, over and over, that means something too.

This man is fine and definitely isn’t carrying the weight of buried karate-based queer trauma - could a traumatised man do this? *stares blankly at a former tormentor as blood runs down his forehead*

9. In Conclusion Daniel Has Kissed Dudes… Symbolically… But We Can HC Literally:

So there’s Daniel and his coded feminine fairytale narrative. It’s all a series of fun coincidences.

1. Ralph Macchio is just Like That

2. Red. All the red.

3. large portion of his storyline is about lack of power. Yes, he regains that power by the end of the first and second movie through A Fight, but generally he is framed as powerless opposite these almost monstrously physically powerful boys/men. And in the third one it’s barely even about physical prowess (he’d still lose a real fight against Barnes or Silver) and more about regaining lost autonomy off the back of a manipulative, abusive relationship with an older guy.

4. The third movie in particular is narratively a mess, but if reimagined as a fairytale makes a lot of sense (because it’s secretly all about how karate is bisexuality and Daniel gets manipulated through that desire to be better at karate).

5. Queerness and femininity and themes about hidden desires that can only be approached sideways through couching those desires in symbolism: Handshake meme.

6. The fact that the more I think about it, the more feral I am for a Labyrinth AU.

7. To sum up over 5000 words of text: The inherent homoeroticism of wanting to be slammed against a locker by a bully, but extended over three movies and ever-more inventive ways of hurting pretty-boy-Daniel-LaRusso.

Johnny’s not going to be happy when he realises Daniel’s got other ex-rivals buried in his closet...

10. Some Other Stuff Aka The Laziest Referencing I’ll Ever Do

Further reading on trans Matrix

Further reading on masculinity and rape narrative in The Rape Of James Bond

Youtube Video from Pop Culture Detective (Sexual Assault Of Men Played For Laughs)

Some film/TV references in this: Dracula (Coppola), Princess Bride, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Labyrinth, The Matrix, Rocky, Princess And The Frog, Cinderella, Enchanted, Shape Of Water, Swamp Thing, Phantom of the Opera

Some fairytale references: Red Riding Hood, Cinderella, The Wolf And The Seven Little Kids, Alice in Wonderland, Wizard of Oz, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Beauty and the Beast, Company of Wolves (Angela Carter), Through the Looking Glass, Princess Bride

Also referenced is Alison Bechdel’s graphic novel and the subsequent musical Funhome. Further thoughts on this by @thehours2002 and @jenpsaki:

https://thehours2002.tumblr.com/post/650033577171533824/daniel-larusso-and-fun-home-click-to-enlarge

https://jenpsaki.tumblr.com/post/650530225997971456/cobra-kai-fun-home-inspired-by-goldstargirls

My list of Cobra Kai meta posts

I wanted to delve into fairytale movies more, but then I was like “fuck, I have actual work to do,” but I was interested in the ways male and female characters are written in these stories:

The Last Unicorn, The Never-Ending Story, The Dark Crystal, Legend, and Stardust.

The Last Unicorn is an interesting one because she’s not really human, until she is. It’s more like The Little Mermaid (the fairytale, not the Disney film) in tone, and of course there’s a pretty substantiated rumour that Andersen wrote that one as a metaphor for falling in love with another man (who eventually got married).

Andersen in general is just fun to analyse as someone who popularized so many fairytales and exists as an ambiguously queer historical figure – might’ve been modern-day gay, bi, ace, but we’re just not sure. All your favourite fairytales can be read through the lens of queer loneliness and ostracization. Just like horror.

Anyway I didn’t go into the whole Little-Mermaid-Last-Unicorn transformation bit so much as the Monstrous-Desires bit, but I think there could be something to that too, with monsters representing otherhood and all. Stardust is a kinda-almost-this, except she sticks to her human form and all is okey-dokey by the end, she’s allowed to marry the handsome man and be a star.

The Never-Ending Story has Atreyu and Bastian and because of a lack of female characters, an interesting bond between the two of them, but mainly Atreyu is absolutely a go-gettem Hero Type and it’s just interesting to see how Bastian relates to him as both an audience insert, but also eventually as his own character in that world.

The Dark Crystal contains certain… androgynous elements of feminine and masculine coded characteristics in the main character because of how he’s not human, but also they do have a “female” version of his species that he needs to go save (and bring back to life) by the end, so in a way it’s both more and less heteronormative in its characters.

Legend sees another example of a monster (literally called Darkness and looking like a traditional devil) trying to seduce a princess through promises of power, and she “goes along with it” in order to trick him and succeeds in that trick, but is ultimately saved by the male lead.

In conclusion: I don’t even have Shrek in this.

#daniel larusso #terry silver #the karate kid #the karate kid part three #cobra kai #ck #cobra kai meta #and in conclusion... brain brain brain

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harryswatermelonsegment · 4 years

Text

Fire For You

Pairing: Reader/Harry Styles,Harry Styles/Omc x2

Rating : Strong R 100% porn w/o plot tbh

Warnings: *cracks knuckles* orgies,sex parties, anal sex, male oral sex, female oral sex, anal play, sub!dom play, drug use, vaginal penetration, squirting

A/N: Look, never posted fic. And I haven't checked anything 😳 Due to the heavily noted anon prompt fluttering around my dash that read: "My friend went to some weirdo eyes wide shut kind of party in the Hollywood Hills last year and overheard 'yeah you can't use that room, Harry Styles is high as fuck and getting railed by some dudes in there" plus that damn 🍉 video... well, I am at peak feral in quarantine and 3k of smut just popped right out. Title actually the Cannons song cos it's such a sex song innit? I'm doing this at 4.20am after starting this at 11pm my time so..good fucking night. ✌🏻🍉

—--------------------------------------------

You were petrified.

You'd moved halfway across the world with your best friend after a shitty person broke your heart and your spirits.

A circumstantial opportunity had arisen to become her PA,after her chance audition for a series had turned into cult viewing overnight.

She was everything you weren't. Confident, effortlessly cool and entirely comfortable in her own skin and sexuality. That's why, as she sauntered away with a tuxedo clad tall stranger, you stood frozen on the spot trying to remember it was okay to watch.

It had been her idea for you to submit an application after you'd said you needed to take risks and feel good in your skin again. Your best friend had told you you were wasting your youth, after years wasted on the ex you were in this country trying to forget. That you should embrace you were young, hot, single and getting older by the second. So you'd rolled your eyes and submitted your video application. You wouldn't get a reply for such an elite thing.

And yet, here you now were, in a millionaires mansion watching two men fuck a bunny masked stranger infront of you. She looks up at you through the velveteen eye holes and offers you to join with her finger come hithering you over. Your eyes widen.

You immediately remember your stiff upper lip and bound up the right hand staircase as fast as your heels will allow. Hoping to find a cool place to catch your breath.

Maybe you weren't as free spirited as you were in your head. Open to trying things theoretically, but now, as you see a flurry of naked bodies out of your peripheral vision and hear sounds you'd only heard in more private settings, you felt quite overwhelmed.

You were no virgin but not to say you could count on two hands your conquests past kissing either.

You came to the one shut door at the end of the long hallway, assuming it was a bathroom. Heels clicking against the pristine marble floor below as you approached. You put your hand to the cold metal handle, if you weren't prepared to see strangers fuck, you certainly weren't prepared for this.

There were five people in the room.

Three men on the bed and two women. The first woman sat open thighed across a low backed plush chair. Another on all fours on the floor licking into the others cunt as one guy stuck his fingers into her own folds from behind. He was then, with the rest of his olive skinned built body, sharply thrusting into the man on the bed at such a pace you could hear his balls slap against the sweat glistening flesh. He held his hip nearest to you so tightly, you could see the red marks appear from under his large hands.

The slender man receiving all this action was being silenced in his pleasure by the guy kneeling up in front of him. He hummed loudly through his nose as his mouth was busy bobbing up and down the guys length. Eyes closed in the orange low light as he was thrust into still, with such force he deep throated the guy he was swallowing down. He suddenly gagged and the man moaned then pulled his head away and nodded to signal if he was okay to continue, he agreed then he got right back down to business.

It was probably one of the more explicit scenes she'd seen. Making her feel hot and cold all at once. Not because of what was happening, no, it was who it was.

His face was disguised by a navy blue, high winged, theatrical mask. As were those involved, or some variation at least.

You heard a voice beside you at the door frame. A deep voice talking to a white bunny beside him

"Nah, that rooms got enough going on, Harry Styles is high as fuck getting railed by two dudes"

And that's all the confirmation you damn well needed. You'd been in L.A three weeks. Three weeks was all it had taken for you to be stood watching Harry fucking Styles getting Eiffel towered by two guys in the Hollywood Hills whilst you watched, mouth agape in barely any underwear.

No one had seemed to notice your intrusion, if the screaming of the red head in the chair reaching her climax was anything to go by. She rode out her high on the blondes face before getting up, lighting a joint and pulling the blonde up by roots. No real concern that she hadn't climaxed from Mr. Powerthrusts fingers yet. Dragging the young white cat back towards the door with a glistening mouth and chin, you were still entranced at the boy on the bed pooling your sheer briefs and the sight before you.

The redhead looked at you, to where your focus was on, then back to you. Giving one condescending chuckle. Still with the small blonde girls hair in a vice hold she spoke roughly into your ear as she passed.

"He's soft and ready to go sugar, strike whilst he's still loose" with that, she kisses your cheek and her Loboutins clicked away from you.

You stood there. Tits up to your chin from the force of the practically sheer black bra you were spilling out of, the suspender belt grasped your hourglass shape perfectly too. There was delicate, black designer underwear framed by the belt and thigh high stockings. You'd felt beyond confident at the beginning of the party. New eyes dragging over you in a way they didn't when you were in your regular get up of jeans and a t shirt. But behind the Japanese type kitsune half mask, you had felt invincible.

Right up until the point people actually started fucking.

But this, this was different.

You'd never been into guy on guy action, not even in porn. It didn't ignite any fire inside the pit of your stomach like it should. But seeing someone you'd casually ogled through the media like the other few million in the world had, well the chances of being in this position again were rare. Suddenly, the thrill of being able to possibly turn dream into reality spurred you on. He'd never know it was ever you if you met again right?

The three of them were still going at it. Powerthruster behind, contorting his face as he placed smack after smack across the pale flesh of Harry's ass. Grabbing a fistful in each hand as he sped up even more to reach his climax, he cried out when he did pulling Harry's hips flush against his own, it was only now, amongst all the activity that you notice Harry's cock for the first time.

The rumours online highly underestimate it.

He's long and thick and his drippy head is causing a string of pre cum to trail from its opening onto the white silk sheets below.

You clamp a hand between your thighs, the first time you feel your inhibitions falter that night. You had to relieve some of the friction your body needs. Watching the man remove himself, and toss the condom in the bin by the door frame you were still fixed to.

Harry scrambles to the other muscular guy infront of him, kneeling back on his calves, hissing a little as his legs under each cheek spread his already tender hole a bit. He doesn't miss a beat though, the already close to orgasming guy looking down at green doe eyes as he pushes Harry's mouth from him. Harry knows where this is leading and opens his mouth for him spill his seed onto his waiting tongue.

By this point you'd moved quietly from the door and across the wall so you were in prime position to watch Harry swallow all this man's cum whilst you just stood watching.

Feeling like a pervert, feeling turned on, feeling fucking everything to be frank. You'd question it later. Right now you needed Harry to touch you.

One leg kicked up behind you so you could slightly part your thighs and rub your middle finger down your folds beneath your knickers. You began to put on a show. The other hand is inside your bra cupping and squeezing your nipple between your index and forefinger sharply. Panting quietly as you see Harry's eye clock you in his peripheral vision. You're terrified of his reaction for a second before remembering the setting of the evening, but he smirks the best he can do with an open mouth and looks you up and down slowly. His dick twitches in his lap and that's all it takes for you to start rubbing two soaked fingers fast against your clit, your ego inflated that you could be the cause of his heightened arousal. You're going at such a pace on yourself that you almost don't catch the ropes of cum descending into Harry's mouth as he watches you trying to get the release his actions have caused. The guy stills, spent. Harry is still watching you pant faster as you take the hand on your breast away to steady a palm against the wall. He holds the guys cum in his mouth before tearing his eyes away from yours to kneel up and place an opened mouthed kiss onto the guys lips, transferring him back into his own mouth, forcefully. Switching the dominant role back in his favour to show you who was really in control in the room despite how it may have looked. He breaks the kiss, both men chuckle at each other before Harry taps the other guys cheek with his palm playfully. Like his just scored a goal at the Sunday football league, but definitely not like they'd both shared a mouthful of semen.

Your pace has slowed down slightly but you see him whisper something into the man's ear before he hops off the bed, grabbing only his black briefs and closing the door behind him. But not before saying "have fun" to you with a knowing wink.

It suddenly feels very intimate. When there were a few more people in the room it felt easier to blend into the festivities, but now you were essentially alone with a stranger who was watching the slow movements of your hands in your underwear. You decided to carry on, to keep up the pretence that this is the sort of thing you do all the time of course.

It wasn't.

So when he stands straight up off the bed, taking the few steps towards you, slightly pouting into the air as he keeps his eyes locked on yours and gently grabs your wrist that leads to the hand on your pussy bringing the two digits that had been furiously rubbing your clit, up to his mouth. He never breaks his gaze as he sucks them fully, with the same technique you'd just seen on that man's dick minutes previous. Closing his eyes and humming approvingly at your sweet taste.

Your insides are screaming but your present body moans and he drops the hand to grab your waist and pull you tight to his torso. He kisses you hungrily and you taste mostly of yourself and try not to think about the other taste from the strangers cum on your tongue.

He kisses you like he's getting to know you through this alone, grazing his palms from your waist to your shoulder blades then back down slowly to your ass, gripping it tightly to his body as he hooks a thigh over his hip. His cock is sandwiched between you, droplets of pre cum on both your bellies. The crotch of your underwear is rubbing his length slightly as you rock your hips down onto his.

His tongue is lapping and swirling languidly against yours, it's unexpected given the setting but, it's fucking glorious. You grab fistfuls of curls at the back of his head between your fingers and once you get to the nape and give a sharp tug on the baby hair there, his breathing hitches.

"You're quite good at this" he says casually,taking a breath. You pant in response and chuckle slightly. Mostly at the contrast of moods he appears to have.

"Not s'bad yourself" you smile.

There's a heartbeat whilst he takes in your accent similar to his own he pulls back, brows furrowed causing his forehead to wrinkle down slightly at the top of the blue mask. This isn't the time to get to know one another though, you get that, and despite your reservations on this place you suddenly don't give a shit. You push your mouth into his neck suckling lightly and finding a sweet spot at his pulse that has him shaking. His nimble pianist fingers undo the flimsy material of your bra as he goes back to the weirdly passionate make out session, you let it fall off your shoulders, shaking it down your arms to the ground.

He walks you both back to the bed and sits down pulling you to straddle his thighs. You both moan at the reconnection and don't miss a beat rolling your hips over his slowly. Giving him a taste of what's to come. He grunts through his teeth out of frustration, pulling away from you both once more to reach blindly for the fishbowl of condoms, provided by the host, on the nightstand.

"Fucked anyone else tonight?" he asks matter of factly.

Your eyes looked shocked, even though they probably shouldn't be. You furiously shake your head.

"Hm" he chuckles as you lay your hands in your lap submissively, he clearly notices and you see an eyebrow raise over the mask. "that mean you're a good girl?"

Cottoning on to the game he's starting, and that you're more than willing to take part in, you take one side of your bottom lip between your teeth and nod quickly.

This is an absolute fantasy. But you're aware you could get interrupted at any moment so you'll take what you can get before being pushed out, and no doubt off, this absolute wet dream of a man.

He tears the packet open with his fingers, sitting back, a little hunched over to roll the rubber down his length. He hisses at the brief contact after being edged so much the last hour or so. You start to wonder how he's keeping up his stamina before he sits back up, taking your chin between his thumb and forefinger and interrupts.

"Gonna be a good girl f'me then love?" he leans forward places wet opened mouth kisses at each of your breasts in between his words, looking you straight in the eye. "Gonna slip those pants to the side and get on me then?"

No sooner had he spoke, you were grabbing his cock in your palm with one hand, and pulling the crotch of your soaked fabric to one side with the other. You hadn't done this in a fair few months and definitely never taken a cock as big as his, but your arousal was so high that you were desperate for the sweet pain of being stretched around him. You pumped him barely as to not roll up the condom, just grazing him and feeling him twitch in your fist as he watched you briefly stick two fingers into your cunt. The wetness being heard as you opened your mouth and gasped at the sensation. You didn't want to waste anymore time checking you were prepared so you scooted forwards on his lap. Brushing his swollen head against your clit, before tapping it a few time as you sunk down onto his length. It burned so good as you got to about halfway before lifting yourself up and sinking down again further. It took three times of doing that to be completely seated and drowning his cock in your juices as your pelvises locked together. You both took a second to pant out curses against each others necks.

"Jesusfuck. You're so fuckin' tight. Can you move? Fuck! Please move" he strained into your throat.

You sat back a bit so you were facing one another and with fingers pulling at those nape hairs you reconnected your mouths before rolling your hips experimentally against his.

"Oh fuuuuck" you shot out, the feeling of him so deep inside you and him pressing against your clit was other worldly. The friction of the underwear you still had on, gathered between your folds and caused the sweetest friction. He grunted once as your jaw lay slack at the contact, before getting impatient and guiding your hips to slam into him harder as he thrust up at the same time.

Your head was spinning.

His strong hands pulled you close to him he smeared your lips together as he flipped you so he was on top, manoeuvring you up the bed and slightly diagonal so his feet didn't dangle off the edge.

It became a power battle then. You knew he was on the edge and holding back. He pulled a leg to hitch around his waist and thrust into you at speed. Enough to leave you sore tomorrow. You smirked into his mouth, pulling both up further to lock behind his neck, knowing the angle would make it so much tighter and so much easier to reach that sweet spot inside you. With your head thrown back at the new angle he began leaving marks around your neck and breasts, trying so hard not to cum before you.

Then you had a brilliant, foolproof idea of how to win this game. As he was preoccupied leaving a red mark against your clavicle, you sucked your middle finger into your mouth for your planned attack. Before you could do anymore though, he moved two of his digits against your soaked clit at speed, tapping every now and then and making you writhe and grip the sheets with overstimulation. You held off best you can but he was hitting that spot that few had taken much longer to find before. You knew what was coming but it was too late to warn him.

Your orgasm took over your body from the middle down to your toes and up until your eyes practically rolled back in your head. You heard the lewd, wet sounds his thrusts were still making and wanting to even things up you made a quick recovery enough to part your mouth and make your middle finger drip with saliva as you gripped his ass to guide him into you. You could tell by his speed he was almost there so you went between his cheeks with your slick finger and suddenly buried it inside him to the hilt. He was still stretched from the previous guy so you sink to the knuckle easily. It only took two movements to feel him spill inside you. Long drawn out moans left his lips like a dirty drawl from his throat. You took out your finger and went slack onto the mattress.

He was spent but he wasn't done.

As he pulled out of you carefully, gushes of your cum cascaded down onto the expensive sheets. If he didn't know you were a squirter, he did now. He stared watching it fall from your weepy hole blind removing the condom and tossing it into the bin behind.

"Holy fuck. I.. I've never managed that before. You're a fucking dream….so fucking sexy. Fuck" he looked at you like a feast. Your saturated underwear stretched out beyond repair now. Laying against your thigh and the material dripping. He pulled the stockings from their clips quickly, not taking them off but so he could peel the knickers from your sticky thighs. You noticed he threw them down near what you assumed to be his tux.

And that was it, he pushed your thighs up and back to your body so your knees were flush against your chest. You felt some of your cum still seeping out if you and he growled watching the last few drops drip down your bum and onto the bed.

He dove into you like he'd not eaten in weeks. Lapping every bit of fluid from your pussy, clit, thighs and ass. He licked around your puckered hole as he sink two fingers into your cunt at pace.

"You got one more in there for me hmm?"

He said huskily, keeping one arm across your thighs as he sat up on his haunches to look down on you falling apart. You nodded frantically, feeling the bubbles in your stomach growing again. You felt the pressure build between your thighs. Completely living in this moment with this beautiful man you got to see so desperate for you to cum. He dived back in to trace figure eights across your clit with the tip of his tongue before laying it flat and going up over it again and again. He alternating the two before you were ready to burst. He felt it on his fingers so he stilled them inside you still lapping at clit but using his whole arm to move at speed up and down to keep pushing at that one ridge inside you. When he felt the first wave of your climax hit he quickly put his face infront of your cunt and let the force of your squirt hit him the face. He caught a good amount in his mouth before repeating the signature move of crawling back up to your face and getting your soft, limp body to open up so he could spit your cum back into your mouth. It was tart but sweet probably due to the pina coladas you'd sipped downstairs to get you loosened up a bit.

"Good girl. Swallow, show me y've swallowed it all up" he panted kneeling at your side.

You gulp and meekly open your mouth to prove it was all gone and he smirks and gives you a slow, lazy Sunday kind of kiss that sends its shivers down your spine. You stare at each other as he sweeps your sweet drenched hair from the front of your face. You're not sure what suddenly changed in the room but you've created your own bubble. Your own bubble where a millionaire pop star a Jenner has shagged, whispers praises against the shell of your ear in some sort of awe and kisses your neck and face tenderly. What even is life?

It's stupid but you don't want to go. Well, it's not stupid as this boy is a hurricane in the sheets and why would you not want more!

But you know the deal. This isn't a date. This is an elite fuck party. A. Fuck. Party.

The realisation dawns on you like a thorn to the side. You can't just lay here in a post orgasmic comatose state. There's people waiting, people he's waiting on too. He sees your eyes widen and watches in confusion as you take a white robe from the hook behind the door, still in your heels you pick up your bra. You smile briefly before closing the door behind you and practically sprinting to your car.

Not before seeing the guy Harry had been deepthoating earlier, now standing fully clothed with a headset at the door you'd just come out of with a suit and headset on. Like nothing had ever happened. Of course you weren't interrupted. Of course he had security. You rush back down the staircase before you have a panic attack in plain sight. Your thoughts scrambled beyond what you thought was capable. Did that really just happen? With him? Is this who you are now?

It's only when you get to the end of the street after texting a quick "sorry wasn't my scene, call me when you need picking up" to your mate before leaving that you're suddenly aware you're missing your underwear...

#harry styles smut #Solo 1d fic #harry styles fanfiction

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iffeelscouldkill · 3 years

Text

say what we wanna do, make it all come true (chapter 1)

A/N: It is! My fic for the Fiction Podcast Big Bang @podcastbigbang! I am a bit terrified to be posting this after working on it for so long! Also this is in the running for the Longest TSCOSI Fic I’ve Written So Far (not sure if it’s the longest because I don’t remember where my wordcount is up to for Adjusting, but like... it’s long, guys). This is Chapter 1 of 3, and the remaining chapters will be posted weekly!

You can read this on AO3 where the formatting is honestly much better, but here it is on Tumblr anyway. Also, please check out the FANTASTIC artwork made for this fic by the wonderful @bluereadingdolphin and @demonic-kitkats, who are my artists for this fic and their artwork is so good, you guys, I’m in love and they did such a phenomenal job with the honestly pretty vague info they got from me 😂

bluereadingdolphin’s piece

demonic-kitkat’s piece (from Chapter 2!)

Please give them all the love!

Content warnings: There is a relatively brief physical altercation described in this chapter, but it isn’t graphic or bloody.

Also, I play a little fast and loose with POV in this; the first section is told from Sana’s perspective, the rest from Arkady’s.

---

“Hello and welcome back to Radio Indie, Folk and Techno, also known as RIFT, where we play all the bands that matter outside of the mainstream! I’m Piper Tanaka, and I’m your co-host for this programme! I’m joined as usual by the lovely Kestrel Colvin, with Reina Sakamachi in the booth! Now – where were we?”

“You were introducing our guests for this next section,” Kestrel replied in a slightly despairing tone.

“Right! Indie fans, I am joined today by two members of the fabulous up-and-coming indie band Rumor! With me in the studio are frontwoman and lead guitarist Sana Tripathi—”

“Hey! It’s a pleasure to be here.”

“—and bad girl bassist Arkady Patel.”

“Bad girl?” Arkady repeated, sounding halfway between taken aback and annoyed. Kestrel just shook her head.

“Ignore her. She’s got a thing for a certain… aesthetic.”

Next to Arkady, Sana was doing an incredibly poor job of hiding her laughter. “It’s the combat boots,” she whispered to Arkady.

“These are practical,” Arkady told her in a tone that suggested they’d had this conversation a few times. Sana said nothing, but straightened back up with a smirk.

“Sana — or should I call you ‘Captain’?” Piper began playfully. Sana grimaced.

“In hindsight, it was a poor choice to share that nickname in an interview.”

“You know, I think it suits you,” said Piper. “There’s something commanding about your aura. Sana, you and the band — which I understand you and Arkady originally started as a duo a few years ago—”

“That’s right,” Sana confirmed.

“You’ve always had a dedicated and loyal following, even from your early days — and we’re proud to have been playing your music here on this station for almost as long — but I think it’s fair to say the past few months have seen that rocket to a whole new level,” Piper said. “You got signed to a record label belonging to the mysterious but notoriously discerning Red Gregor, are working on your second album, and played a major gig at the CUI stadium just a few weeks ago. And we are definitely going to talk later about what went down at that gig, which is already the stuff of online legend — but first I want to backtrack a little, because I think the moment that everything started happening for you was when you added a new member to your band. In the middle of a gig, if the rumours are true. Can you tell us how that happened?”

Sana and Arkady exchanged a sidelong glance, and Arkady gave Sana a tiny nod. Sana took a deep breath, and began to tell the story.

---

“Jeeter, for the last time, put the keytar away,” Arkady said irritably as she and Sana entered the draughty, abandoned warehouse that the band was using as their current rehearsal space. The acoustics were pretty weird, probably due to all the broken windows, but it was otherwise hard to beat a free place to rehearse — especially a free place with no asshole neighbours who would yell at them to turn it down and threaten to call the cops.

Admittedly, it was in kind of a rough area, but Arkady had only needed to knock someone unconscious with her bass once.

In retaliation, Brian played another bright riff on his beloved instrument, accompanied by some jazzy keyboard chords from Krejjh. The two had been jamming together before Arkady and Sana arrived. “Dude, c’mon, can’t you hear how good this sounds?” Brian wheedled. “How many other indie bands do you know that have a keytar?”

“None. For good reason,” Arkady said, unzipping her case and slinging her bass around her neck. Sana, unpacking the sound equipment, smiled in fond amusement at their well-worn argument.

“It would give us such a great edge! Totally unique. And Krejjh and I have so many ideas that would sound great with both instruments—”

“Okay, Jeeter,” Arkady interrupted him, twiddling one of her tuning pegs. “You can play the keytar. Just as soon as you find us someone else who can play the drums.” She stooped to plug her bass into the portable amplifier that Sana had just unpacked. “Or are you planning to grow an extra pair of hands so you can play both at once?”

“Oooh! No, I should have an extra pair of hands!” Krejjh immediately (and predictably) enthused. “Then I’d sound four times as awesome! Four hands, all rockin’ out!”

“I think you mean ‘twice as awesome’,” Sana told them, as Brian reluctantly put away his keytar and picked up his neglected drumsticks.

“With me, twice the hands equals four times the awesome,” Krejjh replied with irrefutable logic. Brian laughed and held up a hand.

“Dude, high five.”

Sana waited for the two of them to finish their congratulatory high-five before she called the band to order. “Okay, guys — remember that we’re only a few days out from our gig at the IGR Corp function, so we need to have our crowd-pleasers up to standard.”

Arkady immediately wrinkled her nose. “Ugh, corporates. Why are we taking money from them again?”

“Because we need to pay for rent and food,” Sana said, bluntly. “And they’re giving us a lot for it. I know none of us love playing corporate gigs—”

“Understatement.”

“—but we are living a hand to mouth existence at this point, and if I can guarantee our survival as a band by relieving some corporates of their excess funds, then I’m going to do just that,” Sana continued. She waited a beat, and then added, “Also, we’re gonna let them get really drunk and then start playing our best anti-capitalist anthems, and see how long it takes for them to notice.”

Arkady broke into a shit-eating grin. “That’s more like it.” Krejjh cheered, and Brian did a little run-down on his drumkit, hitting each of the drums in turn.

“All right, let’s start with ‘Fear for the Storm’? One, two, three, four…” Sana started strumming the intro on her guitar, joined after a few beats by Krejjh’s melody on the keyboard.

“So long, can’t dodge the dawn, red light shines on and on and on and on and on…”

---

Arkady had been on edge ever since the band set foot in the agonisingly hipster office complex — excuse me, ‘headquarters’ — belonging to IGR Corp.

It wasn’t just the fact that these guys were extremely corporate corporates, or that the whole place radiated an almost aggressively minimalist aesthetic, or that the walls were covered in bullshit, chipper slogans that were all fancy ways of saying, ‘Work should be your existence – if isn’t, you’re dead to us’ — although those things sure as hell didn’t help, reminding her of the absolute worst parts of every soul-sucking corporate job she’d worked before Sana mercifully re-entered her life and suggested they form a band.

No, there was just this weird vibe, like everyone was super on edge and trying to hide it — the higher-ups were stone-faced, muttering into earpieces or barking orders at underlings, who scurried, terrified, to carry out their wishes. And everyone else, from the tech types in plain white T-shirts and jeans to the smartly-dressed sales reps in suits, looked like they were there on pain of death. Wasn’t this supposed to be a party?

The atmosphere didn’t go unnoticed by the other band members. “Kind of a weird feel to this place,” Jeeter remarked as he unpacked his drumkit on the raised platform at the front of the ‘rec center’ where they would be performing. Normally, setting up was a noisy, clumsy affair, with the band elbowing each other, tripping over wires, and getting in each other’s way in the tiny space they were afforded in bars and nightclubs. Here, the platform that would be their makeshift stage was huge and extremely visible — but everyone was completely ignoring them. There was also very little background noise for a room packed with people, and the band found themselves speaking in hushed murmurs, almost tiptoeing around. “You’d think there would be a bit more… chatter?”

“Maybe the alcohol just isn’t flowing yet,” Sana speculated, but she sounded uneasy as she looked out over the tense crowd. Even Krejjh, with their signature hot pink, heart-shaped sunglasses perched on top of their dyed-lavender hair, dressed in a clashing, flamboyant jumble of clothes and accessories, seemed subdued.

Arkady plugged in her bass with a burst of static, and deliberately played a loud riff. Brian startled and dropped his drumstick, but not a single member of the sea of blandly-dressed IGR Corp employees flinched.

Weird.

The sound equipment was all set up, sound check performed and instruments tuned by half past, but the set wasn’t due to start until o’clock. Normally, Arkady would be making a beeline for the bar, but she didn’t really feel like rubbing shoulders with any of these weird drones. She found herself reflexively checking the exits, mentally charting their fastest route out of there in case something really fucked up started going down. Sana half-jokingly called it paranoia; Arkady called it long, hard experience.

It was on one of her scans of the room that she noticed the woman with the septum piercing. Arkady chalked it up to professional interest — as a kid, she’d picked up some extra money working as an assistant in a tattoo and piercing shop, The Landing. She’d first met Sana there when the other woman came in on several occasions to have work done on an amazingly intricate floral sleeve tattoo — her own design. Later, Sana had led a campaign to save The Landing from being shut down over a bunch of bullshit health code violations so that the billionaire Cresswin family — who owned the property — could sell it off to a shitty corporation.

The campaign hadn’t worked, and there was now a high rise office block where Arkady’s home from home had once stood. But Arkady had never forgotten Sana.

Anyway, it was definitely the woman’s piercing and not anything else about her appearance that caught Arkady’s attention first. But then she noticed that there was something off about her body language and the way she was moving — something that Arkady recognised. She wasn’t scurrying about in a panic or affecting bored disinterest; her eyes were flickering around the room, carefully monitoring the comings and goings of the other employees while seeming not to do so. There were little devices studded around the room that Arkady had clocked as security cameras the moment they entered (it was the kind of thing she made a habit of noticing), and she saw the woman glancing up at them.

She was dressed like an employee – white blouse, dark rinse blue jeans – so why was she acting like she was casing the joint? Of course, Arkady reasoned, the outfit could easily have been chosen to blend in. It didn’t necessarily mean she worked there.

“Seen something interesting, ‘Kady?” Sana asked playfully. Arkady didn’t startle, but it was a near thing; she’d been so focused on watching this woman.

Unfortunately, Sana saw where she’d been looking. “You know, we’ve still got close to half an hour before we start our first set,” she said. “You can go and mingle.”

“I’m not here to socialise,” Arkady said witheringly. “Least of all with corporate drones.” She tore her eyes away from the woman to meet Sana’s amused look.

“I’m just saying, you seemed pretty absorbed there…” Sana said, and Arkady rolled her eyes, determined not to respond to her best friend’s teasing. She glanced back at the spot where the woman had been standing and found it empty.

A second later, Arkady had found her again, weaving through the crowd with her head ducked down. She was taking an odd route across the room that Arkady realised must have been calculated to avoid the security cameras. Occasionally she disappeared, behind people or objects (like a huge, obviously fake ficus plant), but it wasn’t hard for Arkady to spot her again. Clearly there was some kind of purpose to what she was doing, but the woman wasn’t a professional.

There was an elevator against the far wall, and as Arkady watched, the doors opened and a small group of people in suits – latecomers to the party – walked out of it. The woman mingled with them briefly, and then disappeared inside the elevator. The doors closed.

Well, that had been a way to kill five minutes, but now Arkady was stuck with nothing to do again. Krejjh and Jeeter had pulled out a pack of cards, and were playing one of their weird games on top of Krejjh’s keyboard. Arkady turned to Sana, about to make another comment about how much this place creeped her out, when she caught sight of the other person moving across the room.

Judging by the expensive suit, they were a higher-up, and were taking none of the precautions the woman had when making their way across the room, which suggested that they were confident about being allowed to do whatever it was they were doing. And to Arkady, it looked an awful lot like they were following the woman she’d seen. Based on the way the suit jacket fell, she’d also bet even money that they were armed.

Sure enough, the suit called the elevator, and disappeared into it a second later. Arkady swore under her breath.

It was none of her goddamn business whether a person she didn’t even know might be in danger, Arkady told herself. She was here to play music, not to get in the middle of whatever might be going down at this godawful corporation. Which again, was none of her business anyway.

Her resolve lasted all of ten seconds.

“I’m going to get a drink,” she told Sana, and placed her bass onto its stand.

“Oooh! Bring me a cocktail – no, a mocktail!” Krejjh said. Sana just looked at her quizzically.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

Arkady nodded briefly. “I’ll be right back,” she said, and jumped down off the platform.

She wasn’t under any illusions that Sana wouldn’t notice where she was going, and just hoped that her best friend would trust her to be back in time for the set. She slipped through the crowd, following the same path that the woman had taken to avoid the watchful eyes of the security cameras.

This worked right up until she entered the elevator, where sure enough, a security camera was embedded into the top corner. How had this woman planned to avoid getting caught?

Arkady pulled out her smartphone, and began to quickly and expertly worm her way into the closed network that IGR Corp was using for its security systems. After just a few moments, she’d managed to identify the IP address that the lift camera was using, and wow, whoever had set up this system was either incredibly lazy or was trying to lay out a welcome mat for hackers. They hadn’t bothered to change the default access password.

Arkady wound back the last few minutes of recorded video, and watched as the woman with the septum piercing pressed the button for the top floor. Arkady did the same, and as the elevator moved upwards, she introduced a glitch that would cause the security camera to loop footage of an empty elevator instead of showing who was actually inside. Then she worked to edit out the archive footage of the woman riding up in the elevator, and of herself getting in.

If it turned out that there was nothing weird going on here after all, well, she’d had some fun exploiting the corporates’ shitty security system.

But Arkady was pretty sure there was something weird going on.

The elevator came to a silent stop, and Arkady silently thanked the deities she didn’t really believe in for the fact that this place was too hipster to have an elevator that made a noise when it arrived at the right floor. The doors slid open, and Arkady immediately spotted another security camera on exiting the elevator. God, these corporates were paranoid. But apparently not paranoid enough to pay their security person to do their job properly.

Annoyingly, the security cameras for this floor seemed to be on a separate network, and Arkady started another hack as she crept down the corridor, straining her ears for the sounds of a confrontation. Further down, she saw an office door swinging open, as if someone had gone through it in a hurry. Arkady approached it, being careful to stay out of sight of the doorway. Closer to, she could hear a voice coming from inside – the suit’s, if she had to guess.

“…sure CEO Golding-Frederick will be very interested to hear just what you’re doing in her office, Ms. Liu.”

“Seiders, I can explain,” the woman – Liu – replied, her voice high with tension. “Project ADVANCE – it’s not what we’ve been told. The company is using it to-”

“What the company may or may not be doing with Project ADVANCE is not your concern,” Seiders said smoothly, over her, “and is a long way above your pay grade. But I’d be very interested to learn where you got your information from.”

“Do you know what’s going on at this company?” Liu demanded, outraged. “And that’s – you have no problems with what they’re doing?”

The closed network for the top floor of the building was much less of a pushover than the elevator, and Arkady kept half of her attention on the conversation inside the room as she worked to find a flaw in the system. Finally, she made it in, and began trying different password combinations for the camera in the hallway.

“It’s not my job to ask questions, Ms. Liu,” Seiders had been saying. “Neither is it yours. And if you value your job – not to mention the safety and security of your loved ones – you’ll step away from that computer, and go back downstairs to the party.”

“Are you threatening me? Are you threatening my family?” Liu demanded. “No, I’m not going to stay silent about this. Someone has to take a stand against what this company is doing. And if anything happens to me, that’ll only raise more questions.”

“We’re very good at making those questions go away,” said Seiders, and Arkady heard Liu suck in a breath. She moved so that she could see inside the room and shit, that was a gun. Arkady rapidly began calculating her angle of attack. “Didn’t you ever wonder what happened to Connors from Engineering?”

“That’s not – you can’t just make a person disappear,” Liu said, desperately. “I – I have insurance! Documents that I’ve sent to a friend of mine. If I don’t check in with them in two hours, they’re going to send them to a journalist contact, and it’ll be all over the press in the morning.”

Arkady could hear the lie in her voice so clearly, and she knew Seiders could, too. “If you had enough evidence to be worth a damn, you wouldn’t have broken into this office,” they replied. “I’m going to ask you one last time. Step away from the-”

Arkady slammed into the room, deliberately making as much noise as she could to draw Seiders’ attention. She took two, three steps towards them and grabbed their gun hand, forcing it down and towards the floor. She managed to hook one arm around their throat, pulling back and applying pressure. Seiders choked, struggling and jerking against Arkady’s grip. With the hand that was holding their gun hand, Arkady twisted and pulled their fingers open, causing the weapon to drop to the floor.

“Liu, grab the gun!” Arkady ordered. She saw the other woman yank something out of the computer that looked like a flash drive, stowing it inside her blouse. She dove for the gun at the same time that Seiders managed to thrust an elbow back, driving it into Arkady’s midsection.

All the air left Arkady’s lungs and as she struggled to draw a breath in, Seiders took advantage of her loosened grip to twist free. They grappled with Liu for the gun, but Liu succeeded in kicking it away, where it spun underneath a nearby cabinet. Then Arkady was on Seiders again, jumping onto their back and choking them.

She heard the sound of running footsteps, and someone else burst into the room. Arkady didn’t get a chance to see who it was before Seiders slammed their head back, knocking into Arkady’s and making bright white lights explode across her vision. She dropped to the floor and staggered, trying to clear her head.

She heard an oof and a thud, and blinked rapidly, sure that she would open her eyes to see Seiders bearing down on Liu – or worse, standing over her unconscious body.

Instead, she was greeted with the sight of Seiders crumpling like a sack of potatoes as Sana flexed her fist, having delivered a powerful uppercut that knocked them out cold.

Silence reigned for a few seconds, broken only by Liu’s sharp, panicked breaths. Rubbing her head, Arkady said, “Hey, Sana.”

“The next time you decide to go off on a rescue mission,” Sana said, wryly, “you could at least tell me where you’re going.” She frowned as she took in Arkady’s dishevelled state. “Is your head all right?”

“I’ll be fine,” said Arkady. She was more concerned with Liu, who looked like she might be on the verge of a panic attack. “Hey, uh, it’s okay. We took care of them.”

“Who-” Liu managed, taking deep breaths in and out, clearly trying to steady her breathing. “Who are you?”

Sana smiled at her, warm and reassuring. “My name is Sana Tripathi, and this is Arkady Patel. We’re-”

There was a noise that sounded not unlike a herd of elephants storming down the corridor, and Arkady closed her eyes. She had a bad feeling she knew what was about to happen. Sure enough, in the next second Krejjh and Jeeter clattered through the door in all their clashing multicoloured glory: Jeeter in his signature loud paid shirt and those stupid khakis, and Krejjh with their… everything. Most of the clattering was coming from Krejjh’s many bangles.

“Cap’n Tripathi!” Krejjh said. “We’re here to assist you with – oh my god, are they dead?” They stared at the unconscious form of Seiders on the floor.

“They’re not dead, they’re just unconscious,” Arkady said, irritated. “Did you two really take off without anyone to watch the equipment?”

Sana turned back to Liu like nothing had happened. “We’re the band,” she finished succinctly. “I’m the guitarist and lead singer, Arkady here plays the bass, and Krejjh and Brian are our keyboardist and drummer.” She indicated each of them in turn. Jeeter waved, and Krejjh saluted for some reason. “And who are you?”

Liu blinked at her. “You… you just saved my life, and you don’t even know who I am?” she said. “Why would you do that?”

“For one thing, because you’d probably be dead if we hadn’t,” Arkady said. “You’re welcome for that, by the way.” She pulled out the phone to finish the hack on the security cameras that she’d started before she entered the room.

“I – no, I know that. I’m not ungrateful,” Liu said, sounding a little stung. “I’m just a little… in shock. My name is Violet Liu,” she added to Sana. “I, uh, work in IGR Corp’s neuroresearch division.”

“Good to meet you, Violet Liu,” Sana said, sounding like they were old friends catching up at the bar instead of total strangers talking to each other over an unconscious body. “’Kady, are you erasing the security footage?”

Arkady nodded.

“Good; Brian and I will carry our friend here,” Sana indicated Seiders with her foot, “into the hallway. I think I noticed a closet there we can hide them in.”

“Uh… are you guys really the band?” Liu asked, as Sana and Jeeter – who was much stronger than he looked – bent down to pick up Seiders. “You seem very…” She struggled to find the right words. “…good at this.”

“We have some unorthodox skillsets,” Sana said, beaming and dimpling at her. “We don’t normally make a habit of rescuing people in the middle of a gig, but Arkady has a soft spot for damsels in distress.”

Arkady fumbled her phone, and nearly dropped it. “Sana,” she hissed, mortified. Sana, who was already partway out of the door, winked and disappeared into the hallway.

After a moment, Arkady realised that she and Liu were the only ones in the room, Krejjh evidently having decided to go along and supervise, or something. She refocused her attention on the hack she was carrying out; she’d managed to hack the hallway security camera, and was erasing the footage from that, but she still needed to do the one in the office.

“Uh…” Liu awkwardly broke the silence. “Is there anything that you need me to…”

“Is anyone likely to be monitoring the security cameras in real-time?” Arkady asked her. The question came out sounding a little harsher than she’d intended, but it was hard to be diplomatic when she was focused on trying to break into a security system. Also, it was a little annoying that Liu apparently hadn’t thought about security cameras beyond the ones on the ground floor.

“N-no, the system is all automated,” Liu replied. Well, that was something, at least. “I, uh, I do have a virus that I was planning to use on the security system that would corrupt the footage. I just needed to find an access point.”

Fine, so there had been a plan of sorts. “This is quicker,” Arkady told her. “And the way I’m doing it, it won’t be so obvious that someone has tampered with the footage.”

“Thank you for that,” Liu said, quietly. “And thank you for – I mean, you don’t even know me, but you came up here to help me. Why?”

Arkady shrugged, keeping her shoulders hunched and avoiding Liu’s gaze. “You looked like you were in trouble,” she said shortly. And that was the office camera done. Arkady resisted the urge to change the password to something rude, and withdrew from the network. “And I don’t like corporations. What were you trying to do, blow the whistle on them or something?”

“Um, I-”

Before she could explain, Sana poked her head back into the room. “Arkady, are you done? Because I don’t think we should be hanging around up here.”

“I’m done,” Arkady said with a nod, pocketing her phone. The two of them joined Sana, Krejjh and Jeeter in the hallway.

“We need a plan to get Violet back downstairs and out of the building without her being seen,” Sana said quickly. “’Kady, do you think you two can make it out in fifteen minutes?”

Arkady huffed. “I can hack the security cams, but I can’t actually make us invisible,” she pointed out. “People are gonna notice us. If we waited until you guys started the set, then we might have a better chance, while everyone’s attention is on the band.”

“Listen – it’s not that I don’t really appreciate the help,” Liu cut in. Her face was set, like she was preparing to go to the gallows. “But none of this needs to be your problem. It’s my mess, and I can get myself out of it. You guys should go and start your set.”

“Oh, pshaw!” said Krejjh. “We’re not just gonna leave you to the bears!”

Jeeter smiled. “To the wolves,” he corrected Krejjh.

“Are y’sure? Because bears can be pretty terrifying.”

“We’re not about to abandon you now,” Sana said to Liu, gently. “Between the five of us, I’m sure we can figure out a pretty good plan.”

“Can’t we just pretend to be loading something into the truck?” Jeeter suggested. “And Violet can help us? We could give her a band jacket – make her look like she’s with us-”

“It’s too bad you don’t play!” Krejjh said to Violet. “We could add you into the set. The ultimate entourage!”

“Uh…” Violet said (at the same time as Arkady said, “Camouflage.”) “I mean, I do play something? But you guys already have a drummer.”

“Wait, you’re a drummer?” Jeeter said delightedly, as Krejjh straightened up so fast that Arkady thought they’d pull a muscle. Even Sana looked interested. “Are you good?”

“Have you ever played with a band before?” added Sana.

Liu smiled and shrugged awkwardly. “Well, drums aren’t really a solo instrument, so yeah. I used to jam with some friends in high school, and played some underground rock concerts in college. I was never really with a band – we just sort of used to form collectives based on who was around and wanted to play. It was fun, though.”

She’d avoided answering the question about how good she was, Arkady noticed, which probably meant she was good and was being modest about it. Goddamn it.

“So if, hypothetically speaking,” Sana said, “you joined a set without having rehearsed any of the music beforehand, would you be able to figure out a drum part?”

“Okay, hold on,” said Arkady, before Violet could respond. “Don’t you think IGR Corp is going to notice that one of their employees has just… joined the band?”

“We’ll swear up and down that it isn’t her,” Jeeter said. “And even if someone figures it out, what are they gonna do about it in front of everyone?”

“But wait, what about you?” Liu asked Jeeter. “Wouldn’t I be putting you out of a role in the band?”

“Nah,” Jeeter said happily. “I brought my keytar!”

“Oh my god,” Arkady groaned. She could tell when she was fighting a losing battle, but it didn’t stop her from making one last, token protest. “This is going to sound really goddamn weird.”

Sana grinned at her. “Well, you wanted to annoy some corporates,” she pointed out. ��What better way to do it?”

---

The problem was, the new line-up didn’t sound weird at all.

It sounded good.

Liu, hastily disguised with an old band jacket and a spare pare of Krejjh’s sunglasses, fitted in with their set like she’d been rehearsing with them for weeks – months even. They did a quick sound check, Jeeter looking far too delighted as he amped up his keytar. Sana gave her usual cheerful introduction into the microphone, introducing the band as Renegade, the name they adopted for corporate gigs (Arkady was even more glad of it now, since it would make them harder to track down later). After a lukewarm reception from the assembled employees (none of whom seemed to notice, or care, that the band had grown an extra member), they launched into their first number, a reimagined cover of ‘What Shall We Do with the Drunken Sailor’.

It started off with Sana singing alone, before Krejjh joined in, their voices singing in close harmony, and then Arkady and finally Jeeter, the harmonies becoming increasingly layered as they went. The addition of the keytar made the song sound futuristic, almost the kind of thing you could imagine crews of space explorers singing together as they made their way into the unknown.

Liu picked up the beat easily, and as the song unfolded Arkady suddenly realised she could hear a fifth strand to the harmony, weaving in and out of the other voices, soft but distinctive: Liu was singing.

They moved on from the conventional crowd-pleasing openers to a more eclectic mix of songs, including some punk and anarchist numbers. Each time, Arkady was sure that the choice was going to throw Liu off, but she adapted smoothly to each one, altering her style to fit the vibe of the song. In one of the louder, heavier songs she even threw in an impromptu drum solo that had Krejjh whooping at the keyboard and Sana laughing as she riffed on her guitar.

Sana threw Arkady a look as the song ended, and there was a light in her eyes that Arkady knew far, far too well. It was the same light that Arkady had seen when Sana tracked her down at her latest deadbeat job and persuaded her to quit and start playing music with her; the same light that she’d had when they met Brian and Krejjh a year later and Sana had decided to turn their duo into a band.

Sana wanted Liu to join Rumor. And Arkady couldn’t even think of a good argument against it, apart from the fact that they barely knew anything about the woman other than that she could play the drums. And that she was a corporate, which Arkady thought was important not to lose sight of, even if Liu wasn’t on the greatest terms with her employer any more.

Speaking of which. Arkady was on high alert throughout the whole set, constantly scanning the crowd for signs of trouble, anyone who might be looking too closely at Liu or showed signs of moving towards the elevator. As they’d been setting up, Liu had told them that Seiders was middle management: someone who outranked her, but not someone who held a position of particular influence within the company or had the ear of the CEO. Someone who had ambitions above their station. It didn’t mean no-one would notice them missing, of course; but it meant that they might be someone who, for instance, would go after a rogue employee without notifying their superior, hoping to reap all of the credit.

The band moved into their final number, ‘Landers Never Stand Down’ – one of Sana and Arkady’s early compositions, whose lyrics Sana had written as a tribute to The Landing, and her and Arkady’s shared history. Normally, Arkady would object to wasting it on a corporate audience, but tonight, it felt like the right kind of ‘fuck you’.

“Landers never stand down,

Landers never bow,

Landers never stand down,

We don’t know how…”

They wound up the song in their usual fashion, repeating the chorus and getting fiercer and more defiant with each repetition, before ending in a final blaze of guitar chords.

“Thank you, everyone, you’ve been a wonder to perform for!” Sana said into the microphone as the chords faded away. She said the same thing at the end of every gig, but it had never felt more like a colossal understatement. “We’ve been Renegade, and we hope you have a great night!”

There was a small scattering of applause. Sana beamed out into the audience again, and then turned away from the microphone, sliding the power to ‘off’. “Well, that was-”

“Attention, all IGR Corp employees,” came a voice over the loudspeaker system. Sana froze, and Liu, who’d been leaning over to say something to Krejjh, paled visibly. “Please stay where you are. We will be carrying out a routine attendance check. Please do not exit the building.”

“Attendance check?” Arkady repeated.

“It’s a standard employee procedure,” Liu explained. “To make sure everyone’s… accounted for at corporate functions. Supposedly they’re optional, but it looks really bad if you’re not there and you don’t have a reason.”

“Do we think there’s a chance this is linked to…” Sana gestured towards the elevator. Liu shrugged helplessly.

“It could be, but even if it’s not, they’re gonna discover that Seiders is missing pretty quickly. And that I’m… unaccounted for.”

“Don’t worry,” said Jeeter, reassuringly. “We’ll figure out a way to get you out before that happens.”

“Dashing escapes are our speciality!” Krejjh contributed. This was true; the band hadn’t always played at the most above-the-board venues, and there’d been more than a few times they’d needed to get the hell out of Dodge before things got ugly. Well, uglier.

Sana nodded. “For now, just keep packing down, like nothing’s wrong,” she said.

As Krejjh packed down their keyboard and Jeeter helped Liu to disassemble the drumkit, Arkady said to Sana, “I’ll go with Liu, and we can sneak out a back entrance-”

Sana shook her head. “It’ll be more suspicious if we’re not seen leaving as a group.”

“We’ll just say we’re going to the bathroom,” Arkady said. “We’re allowed to do that, aren’t we?”

Sana started to reply, but then stopped, squinting at something on the other side of the room. Arkady tried to follow her gaze, but couldn’t see what she was looking at. “What is it?”

“I thought I saw…” Sana shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. Let’s try the front way first, and if they won’t let us leave, we’ll get creative.”

Unsurprisingly, when they carried the first load of equipment over to the rec room entrance, two stoic-looking IGR employees blocked their path, bouncer-style. Arkady eyed one of them, pretty sure she could take her in a one-to-one fight.

“Sorry, we can’t let you leave while an attendance check is ongoing,” said the employee, with a bland detachment. “Company policy.”

“It should only take about an hour,” the other added. “You can enjoy the free refreshments while you wait.”

An hour? Even if they hadn’t had a very pressing reason to get the hell out of there, Arkady would have been looking for the nearest fire escape to break out of. They were just supposed to cool their heels at IGR headquarters for an hour?

“Can we not at least load our equipment into the van in the meantime?” Sana asked reasonably. “This is a very heavy amplifier…” She made a show of struggling with the amp she’d been lifting with ease a few seconds ago, and Arkady suppressed a snort.

One of the corporates had opened their mouth, looking like they were about to object, when a friendly voice spoke from behind them. “Is there a problem here?”

They all turned to look at the person who’d spoken, and Arkady carefully masked her surprise: the tall, dark-skinned man dressed in an expensive-looking suit jacket, T-shirt and jeans combination was none other than Red Gregor, a close friend of Campbell’s. They’d met him once or twice, but what was he doing here?

“Who are you?” asked Corporate One, audibly unimpressed.

“Theodore Gregor; I’m the band’s executive producer,” Gregor introduced himself smoothly, handing Corporate Two a business card. Their eyes widened at whatever was written on it. “My clients have another engagement to get to tonight, so you can understand why it’s very important they be allowed to leave promptly. Additionally, their contract stipulates that they’re only obliged to perform for your company until-” he made a show of checking a gold watch, “-nine-thirty P.M., after which time we’ll need to bill you for every additional half-hour. Will your supervisors be signing off on the additional expenses?”

Corporates One and Two were visibly thrown by the torrent of information. Krejjh made a noise that was hastily stifled, while Arkady did her best to look bored and important.

“I… no, let me just contact my superior to get you the all-clear,” said Corporate One, reluctantly. “Johnson will help you to load your equipment into your…” She eyed the band’s battered van, visibly out of place in the parking lot full of sleek cars. “…vehicle.”

“Great!” Sana said brightly, handing the amplifier to Corporate Two, who took it and staggered slightly. As Corporate One spoke into a walkie-talkie, Sana and Red Gregor strode quickly ahead, the rest of the band trailing behind. Arkady lengthened her steps to catch up with them so that she could hear their quiet exchange.

“…doing here? Did Campbell send you?” Sana was asking Red Gregor.

“In a manner of speaking,” Red Gregor said. “He talks about you so much, I wanted to come and hear what all the fuss was about. Love the new line-up – you guys sound completely different to when I last heard you play.”

“It’s kind of a new thing,” Sana admitted. “New as of… today. I can fill you in, it’s just a long story.”

“I can’t wait to hear it,” Red Gregor said, and Arkady remembered that she’d liked him, the couple of times that they’d met. She could see why he and Campbell were good friends. “But let’s focus on getting you out of here. I’m guessing you need an exit?”

“And fast,” Sana agreed.

“Well, fast’s your speciality,” Red Gregor said with a grin. Sana smiled back at him, and Arkady wondered if Red was basing this off stories from Campbell, or if he and Sana knew each other better than Arkady had realised. It was a strange thought to have in the middle of everything.

Sana unlocked the van and slid open the back door. While Krejjh, Jeeter and Liu loaded their items into the trunk, overseen by Corporate Two, Red Gregor pretended to help Arkady and Sana with their instruments.

“So what now?” Arkady asked Sana. “I think I can probably take Johnson.”

“Arkady, you’ve already been in one fight today,” Sana said, disapproving.

“What’s your point?”

“I have a more bloodless suggestion,” Red Gregor said. “You’ve got a few pieces of equipment left in the venue, right? I’ll go back inside with Johnson to ‘collect’ them, say we’re going to check their supervisor has given you the go-ahead, and you guys make a break for it. I’ll bring the equipment in my car and meet you at the dive bar, half a mile down the road.”

“Are you sure you’ll be able to get away? What happens when they realise we’re gone?” Sana asked.

“I’ll come up with something,” Red Gregor assured her. “Just focus on getting yourselves out of here.”

He walked over to Johnson, who was slightly bemusedly watching Jeeter and Liu (who were clearly stalling for time) rearrange pieces of the drumkit in the trunk, and took him by the arm, steering him back towards the building and talking rapidly all the while.

“As soon as they’re out of sight, everyone needs to get in the van quickly,” Sana instructed. “And hang onto something. Okay? Now!”

Krejjh slammed the trunk of the van shut and everyone piled into the back without a word of protest. Arkady jumped into the front as Sana slid into the driver’s seat, reversing out of the parking space like a shot and executing an alarming hairpin turn to get them onto the road. Liu cried out in alarm, not used to Sana’s driving, and Arkady hung grimly onto the handle on the inside of her door.

“Everyone okay back there?” Sana asked, peering into the rearview mirror.

Arkady looked back to see Jeeter and Krejjh scrambling to put on their seatbelts, each of them having thrown an arm over Liu to keep her in place. “Oops, sorry, I forgot we don’t have a seatbelt for the middle!” Sana said cheerfully as they thudded over a speedbump. Liu closed her eyes. “There’s normally only four of us.”

“It’s not far to where we’re going, right, Captain?” asked Jeeter.

“Just a half mile down the road,” said Sana. “Red Gregor’s going to meet us there with the rest of the equipment, as soon as he can get away.”

“What was he doing at the gig? Did Campbell tell him where we were?”

“I think so. He said that he wanted to come and hear us play,” Arkady said, watching buildings blur past on either side of them. “I guess it was lucky he did.”

“We would’ve figured something out,” Krejjh said confidently.

“Uh, who’s Campbell?” Liu asked, cautiously opening her eyes again.

“He’s our… manager? Kinda?” Krejjh replied. “He doesn’t tell us what to do or anything, but he has a lot of contacts, so he gets us most of our gigs.”

“Contacts in the music industry? Or contacts in like… events venues, bars and clubs?”

“Yes,” Krejjh said helpfully.

“He just has a lot of contacts,” Jeeter said with a smile. Arkady smirked at Liu’s look of consternation.

“Tonight’s gig did not come through Campbell,” said Sana, spotting the dive bar Red Gregor had specified and indicating to turn off the road. “We got it through an agency, Fowleys. I guess that’ll teach us not to go outside Campbell’s network.”

“Hey, it worked out!” Krejjh said. “We got a new drummer out of the deal.”

“Well, for tonight, at least,” Sana said, now reversing into a parking space. “I gotta say, Violet, the way you fitted in with our sound? That was amazing. Our set sounded better than I could’ve imagined.”

Liu blushed. “They were great songs,” she demurred, as the van came to a stop.

“Too bad it was wasted on IGR Corp,” Arkady remarked, undoing her seat belt as they all climbed out of the van.

They got a table in the corner of the dive bar, which was pretty full and made it easy to blend in. As Sana went to get them all drinks, Krejjh and Jeeter started up some kind of nonsensical word game. Arkady and Liu glanced at each other occasionally, but otherwise sat in awkward silence.

Finally, Arkady asked something that had been on her mind since she intervened in the confrontation between Liu and Seiders, though it had taken a back seat to more pressing concerns. “What was it you were trying to get from that computer, anyway?”

“Sorry?” Liu asked, looking away from Krejjh and Jeeter, where she’d been listening in on the game with a slightly baffled expression.

“In the CEO’s office,” Arkady clarified. “I saw you take a flash drive out of the computer. What were you trying to get?”

“Oh,” Liu said, drawing out the little drive from inside her blouse. “Yeah, I was… trying to copy some files onto it. I’m not sure how much I got, though – I had to pull it out before the transfer was complete, and I think they’re encrypted.”

“What kind of files are they?” Arkady asked, thinking that she could probably break the encryption in an afternoon. Maybe less.

Liu hesitated, and Arkady narrowed her eyes. “You’re not still trying to protect your company, are you? In case you don’t remember-”

“No, no,” Liu said quickly. “I just – I’m not sure if it would be safe to tell you. Safe for you,” she added. “Right now, you have plausible deniability if anyone questions you. You genuinely don’t know what’s on this flash drive. So maybe it would be better to keep it that way.”

Arkady was a little bit pacified by that, but still – “Considering I’ve already aided and abetted you, I think that ship has sailed,” she pointed out. “No-one is going to believe I did it without having any idea what you were up to. Which I’m fine with,” she added, as a guilt-stricken look crossed Liu’s face. “I made a choice to help you, and so did the others. But I may as well know what the stakes are.”

“Yeah, that’s… fair,” admitted Liu. Next to her, Krejjh was doing a fairly poor job of pretending not to listen in. “They’re blueprints. My company – the company – has been developing… do you know what IGR Corp does? What kind of a company it is?”

“Some kind of a tech company?” Arkady said. She vaguely remembered Sana saying something about that when they got the gig. She hadn’t really been paying attention to the details.

Liu nodded. “Smart technology – specifically, smart home technology. We produce – I mean, they produce things like smart security systems, smart doorbells, systems that can detect when someone has a medical emergency. Systems that are designed to help keep people safe.”

Arkady had to work to keep from grimacing. She wasn’t sure that being monitored by a computer 24/7 fitted everyone’s definition of ‘safety’, but maybe Liu had never had cause to doubt that the people with power had her best interests at heart. Lucky her.

“But then,” Liu went on, her voice bitter, “I found out that the latest product we were developing – the one that was supposed to make everyone’s lives so much easier, so much better – is being created as a surveillance device. To eavesdrop on people and send their data back to the company. And I know that a lot of smart devices have audio capabilities, but – this was hardwired in. Impossible to disable. And this weird, secretive new division of the company has been set up to process the data.”

“What are they gonna do with it?” Arkady asked.

“Who knows,” Liu said. “They could be collecting it for the government, but – I think it’s more likely they’re just planning to sell it on to the highest bidder.”

Arkady’s eyes narrowed, and she wished that Sana had brought the drinks already so that she’d have something to down.

“You know,” Liu said, her voice suddenly much softer. “I, uh. I still haven’t thanked you properly for, uh, well-”

“O-kay!” came Sana’s voice, loudly, as she finally arrived at their table carrying a small tray laden with glasses. “Sorry for the delay, guys, there was a heck of a crowd up at the bar. Also, the bartender was really interested in talking to me while he pulled these drinks.” She made a wry expression, her dimple deepening in one cheek. “Cheer up, ‘Kady, I’ve got your favourite-” She slid a pint glass of raspberry ale in front of Arkady.

“Thanks,” Arkady mumbled, not looking at Liu.

Red Gregor arrived not long after, having apparently evaded IGR Corp by pretending that he was going outside to look for the band, and then driving off with the equipment before anyone realised what was happening. Sana passed him a drink from the tray; no-one asked how she already knew his preferred drink order.

“So look,” said Arkady, after they’d done some small talk and toasted to a successful getaway (Sana’s idea, of course). “Not that we didn’t appreciate the save earlier – you had pretty good timing – but why’d you go to all the trouble of coming to an IGR Corp function just to hear us play? How did you even get in?”

“I know a lot of people,” Red Gregor said mysteriously, with a fluid shrug. “As for why I came – you probably don’t know this, but I’ve been getting into the music biz lately.”

Arkady tried to remember what ‘biz’ Red Gregor had been in before, and couldn’t. He was one of those people who seemed to do a bit of everything.

“That’s awesome!” said Krejjh, looking delighted. “Are you going to start a band? Or manage one?”

Red Gregor smiled. “Actually, neither. I’m starting a record label,” he said. “And I want to sign you guys to it.”

Liu choked on her drink; Jeeter said, “Wow, really?” and even Sana looked taken aback. Clearly this hadn’t been the answer she was expecting.

“Us?” she said, as if Gregor could have meant anyone else. “As in…” She gestured around the table, including Liu.

Red Gregor nodded. “Look, your new sound is like nothing I’ve ever heard from a band before,” he said. “Campbell has always spoken highly of you guys, and I really liked your originals the last time I heard you perform. But with this new line-up? I think you could become really big. If that’s something that you want, of course.”

Sana sat back in her chair, looking thoughtful, while Krejjh looked practically ready to vibrate out of theirs with excitement. “That would be a pretty big step for us,” she said. “Not that we wouldn’t love – more exposure, better opportunities-”

“Gigs in legal venues?” put in Jeeter.

“More above-the-board performances,” agreed Sana. “But we’ve only played once with this new line-up. We don’t know for sure if we can replicate that – and I mean, we’d be asking Violet to just drop everything and join us full-time-”

Red Gregor held up his hands. “Like I said, it’s completely up to you,” he said. “I’m not here to pressure you into something you’re not ready for. But don’t underestimate yourselves. I wouldn’t be offering if I didn’t have faith in you guys.”

Sana looked around the table, taking in the mixture of expressions, ranging from Krejjh’s eagerness to Liu’s uncertainty to Arkady’s… Arkady didn’t know what her face was doing. “We’ll have to put it to a vote,” she said, predictably. “And if any of you need more time to think this over-”

“I’m in!” Krejjh said instantly. “We rocked tonight! I want to keep on rocking that hard. And we should totally record an album.”

Jeeter smiled fondly. “I’m on board with anything that will let me keep playing the keytar,” he admitted. “And I thought we sounded pretty awesome, as well.”

Sana looked at Liu. “Violet, you’re the one who this would be the biggest change for,” she said. “The rest of us are already playing in a band full-time. Well, with the odd side gig,” she added, because yeah, they did not yet make enough money from performing to cover the bills. “You barely know us, and you’re not under any obligation to stick around – or to switch careers.”

Liu gave a slightly broken laugh. “Well, I don’t really think I can go back to my old one,” she said. “That option evaporated as soon as one of my colleagues pulled a gun on me. Not… sure I’ve really had time to process that yet.”

Sana nodded. “If it’s too soon-”

“But no amount of processing is going to make my situation any different,” Liu went on. “I could try to get another job in my field, but… IGR Corp is a pretty well-known company. Word’s going to get around that I’m untrustworthy, especially if they put it about that I tried to steal corporate secrets.”

“They can’t do that,” Sana said immediately. “I used to do some union work; whistleblowing is a protected activity, and it’s against the law for them to blacklist you – to make it more difficult for you to obtain future employment.”

Liu smiled slightly. “I don’t think IGR Corp are too concerned with breaking the law,” she pointed out. “I appreciate it, but… this isn’t my first experience with a hostile work environment.”

Okay, so maybe Arkady should take back her earlier thought about Liu never having had cause to distrust the people in power.

“Besides, I haven’t even blown the whistle on them yet – I’m not sure if the information I have is worth anything,” Liu said, a little grimly. “And anyway… I think it’s time for a clean slate. So, if you’ll have me… I’m in.”

Which just left Arkady. She could see how pleased Sana was that Liu was willing to join the band full-time, even though she was trying to hide it. Krejjh and Jeeter, too, were excited – and not just at the prospect of getting better gigs and earning more money (though that was a very appealing prospect).

The fact was, Red Gregor was right – they’d sounded like a completely new band during their performance. Arkady had always liked their stuff (of course she did; she’d even co-written some of it) but the new sound gave it a flair she hadn’t even realised it had been missing. As much as she couldn’t help thinking of the dozens of ways this could go wrong, she wanted them to keep sounding like that. She wanted to see what else they could do.

“‘Kady?” asked Sana.

Arkady took a deep breath. “Sure. Let’s do this.”

#TSCOSI #Podcast Big Bang 2021 #The Strange Case of Starship Iris #Vikady #Arkady Patel #Violet Liu #Brian Jeeter #Krejjh #Red Gregor #who turned into a surprisingly key character for this fic which is fun #I'm kind of inventing his personality from wholecloth but I like him #the background Sana/Campbell/Red Gregor sort of came out of nowhere and I just went with it #love me some OT3 vibes!

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kumoriyami-xiuzhen · 4 years

Text

Hakuoki Tsukikage no Shou - Kazama Final Chapter Translation

So. [im going to swear.]

I tried doing something truly fucking insane. I wrote and copied out almost every single stupid shitty word in Chinese from the CH subbed video for this (99% of everything of this was done w/o freaking copy and pasting since it was too fucking hard to locate every stupid duplicated word that i wrote) with my mouse onto google translate (I don't have any other way to input words cuz i don't have a damn input device) before i went and translated this.

at the time i did this, writing out every stupid shitty word was a lot fucking faster than using an ocr text extractor at the time since i kept having problems with the one i was using... and my fucking gawd did this feel soooo freaking tedious and it really did hurt my hand and arm for a while.... to the point that i’ll still complain about it despite how that was done back around the time i did the tsukikage countdown video....

i fucking demand that everyone who reads this thank me for hurting myself for the sake of getting this stupid chapter translated lol... all in all, i wrote out over 4600 stupid fucking Chinese characters of this in one sitting....

oh and i think i might have forgotten about copying some of the punctuation but idfcrn.

some words/phrases i don’t wanna write in excess ever again: 1) 知道 2) 就 3) 然 4) 一族 5) 着 6) 这 7) 在 8) 我 9) 萨摩 10) 里

you guys better fucking enjoy this lol. or im going to flip a fucking table. or ten. hahaha lol. seriously (not really lol).

on that note, i also found the Hakuoki stage play with Chinese subs but I refuse to do anything with it as long as those words aren't in text since that's more than 2 hours long, and i’m not that masochistic or insane xD. if anyone wants to volunteer as tribute though to copy/isolate the text though that’s another matter.

also i had to go read up on more damn history than i'd have liked to in order to translate this damn thing cuz i couldn't understand several words in Chinese since they were Japanese terms which made doing this even annoying since that meant extra work for me to do... and omfg i hated writing this out despite the fact that doing so did save me a significant amount of time cuz I was still pretty bad at using photoshop when i did this... though I can definitely say that this will be the absolute fucking first and last chapter of anything that i’ll ever write out again since i can say that my photoshop skills have improved enough so that i can extract text at a significantly faster pace and with more accuracy...

images used in this post were snips of the some video of the chapter aside from the last 2 which were from the cgs i posted a loooong while back.

if someone decides to repost this elsewhere, i will seriously stop posting my translations publicly (also i will curse you) :D

(p.s. i don’t have the chapter intro since that wasn’t translated for any of the final chapter tls that were posted online, and as always, edits will be done later)

Hakuoki Tsukikage no Shou - Kazama Chikage - Final Chapter

Translation by KumoriYami

Eighth year of Meiji 7th month

Six years later after what later generations would refer to the "Boshin War." Chikage-san took me away to live at his village within the Satsuma Domain. This is a story of what happened 5 years after I married into the Kazama family.

Eighth year of Meiji, 7th month

My eyes were unfocused.

I was quietly mending something——

Kazama Chizuru: That hurt......!

I accidentally hit my finger with the needle.

Kazama Chizuru:......Messed up again.

This type of housework, would usually be finished quickly.... But today my concentration, from the start until just now, wasn't here.

I know the reason why.

Kazama Chizuru: Ah......

I stopped/lowered my hand and softly sighed. Recently, Chikgae-san has been increasing his visits to human villages.

It seems that Amagiri-san has also been frequently rushing around to collect information. The oni in this village saw this, and one after another, they began talking about

��—Soon, there will be no more war with humans.

The female oni were especially scared of war.

However I didn't think it wasn't improbable......

But there was no way to say that war wouldn't happen again.

It's hard to think that the world's become so peaceful.

When I was thinking about these things. (door slides)

There was the sound of a door opening.

I didn't need to confirm who this person was——

Kazama Chikage: I didn't see you, so this is where you were.

Kazama Chizuru: Chikage-san......

The instant I saw him, I immdiately felt relieved...... I couldn't help but smile.

Kazama Chikage: What is it? Is there something funny?

Kazama Chizuru: No, That's......

Kazama Chizuru: I always think it's unimaginable in how I am able to recognize you by your breathing, Chikage-san.

Presumably my answer probably surprised him since Chikage-san's eyes widened......

Kazama Chikage: Of course I am also able to recognize you by your breathing, you and I are husband and wife.

If this had been before, I probably would have immediately denied Chikage-san's words.......

Kazama Chizuru:......That's right/Is that so.

There's no need to deny anything now.

Because Chikage-san and I have already had our marriage ceremony in the Kazama village to become husband and wife.

Kazama Chikage: What are you doing here?

Kazama Chizuru: Sewing clothes.

Kazama Chizuru: If the children's clothes aren't taken care of, they might get torn when caught on a branch or from falling down.

Kazama Chikage: this sort of housework, you can just give it someone else to do.

Kazama Chizuru: But, I have happen to have time......

Kazama Chikage: Accompany me for a walk.

Chikage-san raise his chin, and spoke with an indisputable tone of voice.

Kazama Chizuru: Wait a moment, let me tie this knot......

Kazama Chikage: That thing can wait and be done later, come with me for a walk first.

Really......

Chikage-san's unyielding personality hasn't changed since [even before] we married.

Kazama Chizuru:......I understand, I'll come with you.

Anyway fighting is useless, so I followed him.

It was slightly hot when we reached the forest.

As small birds could clearly be heard chirping nearby, Chikage-san and I walked together.

Kazama Chizuru:......You seem to be so busy lately, have things calmed down yet?

I spoke to him in this way......

Kazama Chikage:............ [he sighs/breathes out here]

Not hearing my words, Chikage-san showed a distressed expression, and was silent.

Kazama Chizuru: Chikage-san....... Chikage-san.

After using a slightly heavier tone, he finally stopped.

Kazama Chikage:......What's wrong?

Kazama Chizuru: To ask me what's wrong......

Kazama Chizuru: Just now I called you several times just now and you didn't respond, it's very concerning

Kazama Chikage: So it's like that, I apologize.

Kazama Chizuru: No, I'm not upset......

Kazama Chizuru: What's bothering you?

Kazama Chizuru: If it's alright, you can talk about it with me.

Kazama Chikage:............ [he sighs/breathes again here... this one sounds more like a sigh imo]

Kazama Chizuru: If there's anything that's difficult to talk about, I won't force you to say anything.......

Kazama Chikage: No.......it's not something that cannot be said.

Kazama Chikage: As the leader's wife, I think you should know about this matter.

It felt like there was a different weight to the way he was saying "the leader's wife."

After moving to this village, Chikage-san has told me those words [in that manner] several times...... The subjects that followed afterwards, were matters that directly concerned the village.

As I nervously waited for his next words, Chikage-san spoke in a solemn and careful tone.

Kazama Chikage:......There are rumours, that the Satsuma shizoku has been engaging in suspicious activities. [check audio]

Kazama Chizuru: Shizoku......?

After entering the Meiji era, former samurai are now referred to as "shizoku"...... No longer able to receive an official's salary, I've heard that they have had difficulties in securing their livelihoods.

Kazama Chikage: After last year's "conscription notice," it is said that official talks to forbid carrying of blades were given with the "conscription notice."

Kazama Chizuru: Forbidding the carrying of blades? That is to say......

Before I asked my question, Chikage-san nodded.

Kazama Chikage: Banning the wearing of katana

Kazama Chikage: [Meaning] Depriving warriors of the rights associated with them.

Kazama Chizuru: Doing that sort of thing...... aren't the Satsuma shizoku unlikely to accept that?

The Satsuma shizoku were [perhaps: had been] proud to be part of the Meiji Restoration, and before I heard that it was their greatest pride. They had overthrown the Shogunate with great difficulty, but they [however it seems that they] haven't received a decent reward [pay-off is prob more accurate]......

If they are deprived of their privileges that they had and are again forced into having difficult lives, it is obvious that there will be resentment.

Kazama Chikage:......Last year, reportedly Saigo's defeat at the central government and his return to the Satsuma, appeared to be the cause of riots breeaking out in human villages. [refers to Seikanron]

Chikage-san's words caused me to let out a cold breath.

I've heard that Saigo is the Satsuma's most powerful individual.

If indignant warriors gather assemble together under his banner——

Kazama Chizuru: Then, where are you going [probably planning?]?

Kazama Chikage: Come on...... let's walk for a while.

Speaking like that, Chikage-san urged me......

No mater what, I wanted to confirm this matter.

Kazama Chizuru: Chikage-san......

Kazama Chikage:......Nn?

Kazama Chizuru: Will Chikage-san have no choice, but to once again move for the Satsuma?

Kazama Chizuru: Just like when the Shogunate was destroyed......

Because there is a sense of righteousness and companionship with the Satsuma [i'd assume this is more sense of gratitude and debt based on Kyoto Winds/Edo Blossoms], there's nothing to be done on the matter......

If that’s the case, I don't want Chikage-san to once again be dragged into humanity's wars.

He is my beloved husband—— we have many precious things to protect now.

Kazama Chikage:......Do not worry, our Kazama family/clan has promised to help the Shimazu clan.

Kazama Chikage: There is no involvement in the Satsuma right now. I have no plans to be involved in wars between humans.

Kazama Chizuru: Really?

Kazama Chikage: Have I [ever] lied to you?

Kazama Chizuru:.......No

Kazama Chizuru: Chikage-san, thank you. Hearing what you said just now, I can be at ease.

Even so I felt that nothing was stronger than the promise he made just now.

Chikage-san will certainly use all of his strength to protect us.

Kazama Chikage:......Perhaps, in the near future, war may occur in the Satsuma. [the Satsuma may go to war is likely more accurate given the Satsuma Rebellion]

Kazama Chikage: In order to prepare for such a situation, [we] must consider temporarily moving into hiding elsewhere.

Kazama Chizuru:......Yes

The oni of the Kazama village...... everything must be done to protect them. In the past my clan——the disaster that befell the Yukimura clan's oni must not be repeated.

(scene changes to ocean) ~3100 words by now

Afterwards, Chikage-san and I arrived at place....... a place outside the village and near the beach.

The deep blue sea could clearly be seen in the distant horizon, as well as the rolling waves. It's was a symbol and scene of peace and stability.

............However.

Kazama Chizuru:......Is war really going to erupt again?

It seemed as if war would break this sea of tranquility.

Kazama Chikage: I am afraid that it will.

Kazama Chikage: But do not worry. I will certainly protect you all

Kazama Chizuru:......Nn, I believe you.

Our conversation drew to a close once more, but it didn't feel out of sorts.

The sound of the tide carried away all of my worries.

In this way, looking out towards the majestic sea......

Kazama Chizuru:......This reminds me of when the two of us disembarked back then.

Chikage-san was quiet as he turned towards me.

His pair of red eyes looked at me, almost as if to ask for the truth of what I meant just now.

Kazama Chikage: The people [or officials?] from the Satsuma fled, similarly to how the warriors of Aizu did.

Kazama Chikage: It wasn't only the Aizu. The former Shogunate who fought the Sat-cho probably also hated the Satsuma and wanted to go to war with them.

Kazama Chikage: They were pardoned, no longer are they an enemy seeking revenge......

Kazama Chikage: For what reason would they need to repeat a disastrous policy/the same mistake......

Kazama Chizuru:......Yes. I also......don't understand

Kazama Chizru:......However it's already...... fighting between humans, oni must not participate again.

Kazama Chizuru: That's what I think, ever since I chose to live here as an oni.

Kazama Chizuru:.....Yes. Even though——

Kazama Chizuru: Even if there's a new battle, the surviving members of the Shinsengumi might take part in it, as will others who are the same——

Among them, I heard that some of them had been pardoned.

That possibility of that is entirely possible.

But——

I've truly observed the conclusion to the Shinsengumi's existence.

They cannot be involved, they can no longer live while fighting against the trajectory [of history? alt:against the flow/tide]/ They can't——it's not possible for them to get involved again, and they can no longer survive against the tide.

Right, though it's difficult to say that/sorry/sad to admit to that.

Kazama Chikage: In front of me, you don't need to be strong [put up a brave front]

Kazama Chizuru:......It's alright. I'm not trying to be strong.

Kazama Chizuru: It's true that I have nothing to do with the Shinsengumi anymore——

Kazama Chizuru: Because of that, there have been things [that I have] obtained.

Kazama Chikage: Oh? Such as?

Kazama Chizuru: Yes......

Options

(Choosing to live together with you)<--- (Understanding how samurai/warriors chose to live)

Kazama Chizuru: Your...... being at Chikage-san's side, it was my choice.

Kazama Chikage: Usually you're only complaining, today you're being quite frank.

Kazama Chizuru: Com-complaining......! I didn't say [anything like] that.

Kazama Chizuru: You and the children never listen and don't even know it......!

I tried to argue——

Kazama Chikage: No need to speak. Come. He took me by my arms then held me tightly.

Kazama Chizuru: Ah......!

There wasn't enough time to respond since I was confused, and he grabbed my chin [face/cheek looks to be more accurate] with his fingers.

(Kazama's kiss with Chizuru cg 1)

Kazama Chizuru: Nn......

It was like saying that everything I was belonged to him, as he gave me a fierce kiss.

I also used my lips to respond to his warmth.

Kazama Chikage:......You don't need to be worried.

Kazama Chikage: Even if the Satsuma ['s lands/domain] becomes a battlefield......

Kazama Chikage: I will do everything to protect you, the children, as well as the village's oni.

Although he spoke in a natural tone......

He however was shouldering the fates of me and the children, and of the entire clan.

[To be the one] dealing with this huge amount of pressure, I couldn't imagine it.

Kazama Chizuru:......I will support you.

While living as a human, then recalling the everyone from the Shinsengumi, I feel sad, although there are times [Although there are times I feel sad when I think of when I lived as a human, and recall everyone from the Shinsengumi......]

But I, have chosen to to support him on this path.

Kazama Chizuru: As a wife...... as an oni, I will do everything to support you......

So, as long as I'm alive, I will always support him.

Kazama Chizuru: Ah. Please stay at my side. You absolutely will not regret it.

(kiss cg 1 again) ——He never broke his promise.

Chikage-san will stay with never go against this agreement, and will stay with me for a lifetime.

So I shall make a promise to him here.

Kazama Chizuru: I will forever be at your side......

——This is the promise of an oni.

——Tsukikage no Shou Kazama Final Chapter End——

maybe i’ll go translate yamazaki’s final tsukikage no shou chapter... in like 2 years. or something. if someone hasn’t done it by then. lol. unfortunately, tsukikage is not on my priority list since 95% of what CH TL I’ve seen is only available as videos... and while I’d very much prefer to translate Saito’s ginse no shou route, the only thing that I’ve found with CH TL so far is a short clip from the 2nd common route chapter.... plus, i still have ssl to worry about... and even then, there are some dramas that i really wanted translated along with the rest of kyoka-roku...

final edits will be done when i start caring about them... later.

also this is chapter 8 for kazama’s route. each route in tsukikage and ginsei no shou has their own unique ending music.

p.s.s. i always love to complain about unnecessary extra free labour.

#hakuoki #hakuouki #Hakuoki Game Translation #Kazama Chikage #Hakuoki Tsukikage #Yukimura Chizuru

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secret-kkh-fics · 3 years

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Light Casts a Shadow - Chapter 5

Due to this not being posted anywhere else yet, please like but DON’T REBLOG my fics.

Chapter Index | First Chapter | << Previous Chapter | Next Chapter >>

Chapter Summary:

In the aftermath of the chaos that was the night of the Winter Fête, Alina has to adjust to her new status, and has a go at the Darkling for hiding even more things from her.

Author Note:

Ha! Well, while the previous chapter may have been a lot shorter than expected, this one ended up being WAY longer. I’m honestly not sure how it ended up that long! Good thing I split the chapters up because these two were supposed to be one.

More sad. More fluff. Enjoy!

A Delayed Correspondence

Upon waking, Alina found herself wishing she was a Shadow Summoner instead of a Sun Summoner. Her head hurt, and the bright light was still shining down into her room. She would give anything to be able to cast the room in darkness with only the flick of her wrist. Instead, the best she could do was groan and roll over and throw the blankets over her head. But her entire body felt like lead, and even that was a struggle.

She felt like the few times she’d drunken too much kvas, but she knew she’d had less than a glass the night before… the champaign, on the other hand. No, she hadn’t drunk too much last night. But it had been a rough night all the same.

The longer she lay there awake, the more memories returned to her, and the more she wanted to burrow under the blankets and never come out.

Baghra was Aleksander’s mother and a Shadow Summoner.

Aleksander was the Black Heretic.

He was ancient, and he also wanted to kill the King and use the Fold as a weapon and had considered making her his slave to do it.

Marie was dead.

And Mal hated her.

Nope. She wasn’t coming out of her cocoon.

“It’s about time you’re awake!” Genya’s voice called as she walked into the room. Alina just let out a loud groan and curled into an even tighter ball. “I told you your head would try to tell you there’s such a thing as too much champagne.”

“It wasn’t the champagne, Genya.”

There was silence for a moment, and then she felt the bed dip as Genya perched on the side she wasn’t bundled up on. “You heard about Marie,” she said gently.

Alina nodded, though she doubted Genya would understand what the moment under the blanket was. “Al- General Kirigan told me last night.”

“Ah, so he did find you.” There was an edge of amusement to her voice that Alina really wasn’t ready to deal with right now. “I heard that you went missing for a while. There was even a full-blown search party, not that most people noticed. Something about kidnappers.”

“The only kidnapper was Baghra,” she grumbled.

“I see.” There was a pause. “I also heard that you were seen leaving the Generals rooms very early in the morning.” It was true, but there was something in her tone that made Alina actually sit up, poof the covers away from her face, and look at her. “Of course, the gossip mill is already going, and there’s several versions. Some say that you snuck out half-dressed with a bunch of flowers. Some say you were looking rather… dishevelled.”

“All Saints,” she groaned.

“Others say that you were seen running back to your room in tears.” She just gave a noncommittal hum in response, and Genya frowned in concern. “I can tell you’ve been crying. You’re a mess,” she said affectionately, reaching out to smooth some of her hair.

“Are you okay?” Alina asked.

“Better than last night.”

Alina nodded but paused and shot Genya a look when she took a bite of a pastry she didn’t realise her friend had been holding. “…Is that my breakfast you’re eating?”

Genya froze, her eyes widening slightly before swallowing and swiping a dot of jam from her lip. “Perhaps,” she said, shrugging delicately. “You weren’t eating them, and they were going stale out there.”

Alina couldn't help but laugh at her friend’s sheepish yet indignant expression. “I’d sort of lost my appetite by the time I got back.” As if the sight of food had sent a reminder directly to her stomach, a loud growl filled the room. “I could definitely eat now, though. I missed dinner.”

Genya shook her head in exasperation, a fond smile on her face. “Come on, let’s get some food in you.” She helped Alina to her feet, and the two moved into the parlour where the tray of pasties still waited.

The two of them talked for a little while, touching on their worry of the break-ins and assassination attempts. Genya told her in a little more detail about what had happened, and they mourned their friend. She had Tailored away the bruising from where the bullet had struck her already. She seemed to be handling it alright, ever the soldier. She sounded more surprised that David had seeked her out and had been worryingly babbling on about ways to improve corecloth. And even more so that the Queen had fretted over her that morning, treating her and making sure she was okay, something the woman hadn’t done for her in a very long time. It was clear that it had baffled the Tailor.

They tried to move on to happier topics, which of course, included asking about the rumours she’d heard. But no matter how much Genya tried to pry, she said as little as possible about the night before. That was not a can of worms she was ready to open just yet. Still, she couldn’t help blushing when she tried teasing her about coming out of Aleksander’s rooms so late. She’d tried to defend that they had been talking about important things, but she was not fooling her one bit. Her unwillingness to tell her what they’d spoken about and how flustered she became at the memory of what had happened earlier in the night confirmed Genya’s ideas, and her teasing only increased.

Soon, she was being ushered to the bathtub, where they continued to chat while she scrubbed herself clean. Noticing faint bruising on her arm, she did her best to hide it from Genya, not wanting to worry her friend or talk about the fight. The hot water did wonders for her stiff, aching body, and she begged to hide away in the room, warm and relaxed in the bath. Her pleading was to no avail, and Genya only Tailored away her puffy eyes and laughed as she hurried her out of the tub to get dressed.

As Alina finished dressing in her skirts and tunic, Genya came over with her kefta over her arm, a look of trepidation on her face. It was the black kefta she carried, not the blue… just as she’d requested the day before.

“Are you sure?” Genya asked her.

Alina looked at the garment, reaching out to touch the soft fabric. If she put this on, she knew what it would mean. His colours. She would be seen as his equal. She would no longer fit in with the rest of the Grisha. She would stand above them. But last night had done that for her anyway. Last night had made her a Saint in the eyes of many.

Last night she had made a deal with Aleksander to stand by his side, to work with him to achieve his plots and goals. She had made him open up to her and agree to compromise. She had madeherself his equal. And it was time that she showed it.

She wasthe Sun Summoner.

“Yes,” she said confidently.

“You know what it means…”

Alina nodded. “Yes, I do.” She let out a deep breath. “I’m ready.”

“Good morning, Alina, Genya!” was the friendly greeting they received the moment they opened the door to see Fedyor’s grinning face. “Or should I say good afternoon-” He cut himself off as he took her in properly, his eyes flicking over her kefta before he sunk into a deep bow. “Moya Soverennyi.”

Alina inhaled sharply. She knew what wearing this kefta meant, she’d been prepared to be treated differently, but she hadn’t been expecting that. She wasn’t sure how she felt about it either, especially when it was her friend saying it.

Still… at least it was better than Sankta, at any rate.

“Fedyor, please. Just Alina.”

He smiled at her. “Of course, Alina. Though, I probably shouldn’t around the General.”

She nodded, accepting that she would have to get used to the title in certain situations. She had chosen power. She best get used to all that came with it. But amongst friends, there was no way she’d be anything other than Alina.

“Did you get any rest?” she asked, concerned that he was already outside her door.

“Yes, I got enough,” he told her. “I have not been here long. Ivan got less sleep, but we both slept till midday.”

Her brow furrowed hearing that. “What time is it?”

“Almost three in the afternoon,” Genya told her. “You slept a long time.”

“I didn’t get to sleep until after the sun was up.”

Even then, she had to have at least gotten six or seven hours of sleep. She needed it, as exhausted as she was. And it was still a vast improvement on her restless, insomnia filled nights before she’d learnt to summon at will.

Fedyor nodded. “Neither did we. But we managed to get those two search teams out, so whoever tried to kidnap you won’t be out there much longer. In the meantime, the General has called for a meeting in his war room. It has been going for a little while now, but he wants us both there as soon as you were awake.” He began walking in the direction of the Darkling’s suite, and she followed automatically.

“He wants me at a war meeting?” she said in surprise.

“Of course.” He gave a pointed look at her black kefta.

“Right…”

She was his equal now. Or at least, she was trying to be. They were working together now, no longer an ancient man trying to move her about like the queen on his chessboard. She supposed that him inviting her to his war meetings was a way to do that. To include her in his dealings. And, she supposed, it showed to everyone else that she was his equal too.

Walking down the hall, there were a few Grisha about, but not as many as she’d expected. They walked hurriedly by or stood near the walls having hushed conversations. Everyone seemed quieter than normal, eerily so. It was incredibly jarring compared to the frivolity of the night before. As she passed them by, they stopped their quiet conversations, noticing her and dipped their heads in her direction. They all appeared sombre, but the respect they now held for her was obvious.

“Is everyone okay?” she asked Fedyor quietly.

“News of Marie’s death and the attacks at the Fête was broken to everyone at breakfast this morning,” he told her. “Some are grieving. Those who aren’t are worried about the break in security.”

Her gut turned. “Is Nadia okay?”

Genya’s mouth pressed into a grim line. “I checked in on her before I came to you. She hasn’t left her room since she heard the news. But I suppose she’s doing as well as one can after losing their best friend. Her brother is keeping her company, and other Etherialki have been popping in, so at least she’s not alone.”

Alina nodded, fidgeting with the fabric of her kefta. “Good. That’s good.”

It was only moments later that they arrived at the large double doors emblazoned with a silver sun in eclipse.

“This is where I leave you,” Genya told her, giving her a tight hug. “But I’ll see you later, alright.” She suddenly smirked. “That is if a certain General doesn’t take up all your time.” She wagged her eyebrows teasingly, and Alina’s eyes widened.

“Genya!” she hissed incredulously, swatting at her friend. Her heart hammered at the implication, drawing a snigger from the Heartrender beside her, and she aimed her glair at him instead. “Don’t you start!”

“Sorry,” he said unrepentantly, his grin still wide.

Saints, these two were going to kill her. She couldn’t even think of her brief almost-romance with Aleksander. She was still too preoccupied with the fact that he was the very Shadow Summoner who created the Fold and what that could possibly mean for her from here on out.

With one last sly wave, Genya departed down the corridor, and Fedyor knocked loudly on the door. A moment later, Ivan opened the door and allowed them in once he saw who it was before heading back to stand behind the Darkling. There were several people standing around the war-table now, many that she recognised as the Darkling’s higher-ups. There was at least one Grisha from each order and a few Oprichniki. Aleksander stood at the head of the table, leaning against it heavily as he had the other night when she’d found him there alone… In the same place where he had placed her only the night before as his hands roamed her body, his lips insistent against hers.

A blush bloomed across her cheeks as the memory came back to her, and an odd thrill shot through her at the thought that no one around that table knew what had almost happened on top of it only hours ago. Only her and the man whose dark eyes now rose to meet hers across the table, a barely suppressed smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

She cleared her throat, straightening her spine and trying not to look like a bashful teen. “General,” she greeted.

“Miss Starkov. I’m glad you could join us.”

The Etherialki nearest to her lowered her head in respect with a murmured, “Moya Soverennyi.” As the others all noticed the kefta she now wore, they all bowed, echoing the title, at least one of them murmuring, “Sankta.”

To her surprise, even Ivan dipped his head in respect, and she blinked in shock.

“I was just informing everyone of the details of last nights events and what is happening moving forward. I would have had you here sooner, but I felt you were in need of more rest.” Alina did not miss Ivan’s eye-roll behind him and had to bite her lips to keep from reacting. By the twitch of the Darkling’s eye, she had the feeling he knew why she was doing that. “So, in short… Arken Visser was apprehended at the scene last night and, after questioning, was executed for the attempted assassination of the Sun Summoner and the murder of Marie Kovaleva. He revealed that he broke into the Little Palace with three others, criminals from Ketterdam who were offered one million kruge to kidnap the Sun Summoner. They were not involved with the assassination plot, which was entirely General Zlatan’s design. But though they thankfully weren’t successful in their attempts, they are still guilty, and Fedyor has dispatched a capable team to hunt them down and bring them back to the Palace for questioning and trial.” Beside her, Fedyor nodded in agreeance.

“You are already aware of the situation with Nina Zenik,” he continued, and she nodded in reply. “We’ve made plans to increase security around the Little Palace and find any weaknesses in our defences. We are also in damage control, trying to keep news of last night’s events from getting out of the Little Palace. It’s likely the King has a spy or two within our ranks that may report it to him, but the main concern is making sure the populace doesn’t hear of it, or we could have a riot on our hands that would rival the days of the Palace’s creation. And finally, our spies in Shu Han have reported extra activity since your discovery, rumours of a new weapon.” He looked about the table. “Was there anything else someone wanted to add about this before we move on?”

The table was silent a moment, everyone looking about at each other to see if someone would speak up before a chorus of ‘No, Moi Soverennyi’ filled the room.

“Very good. Onto the next matter.” He began shuffling papers, looking for the ones he wanted. Alina blinked rapidly, stunned by how rapidly things had gone since she had arrived. She’d seen him command a room, but she had never seen him get down to business quite like this. It was strange to see, and she stood with wide eyes just trying to keep up.

“We have news of Morozova’s stag. We know that the Stag was seen somewhere north of Churnast.” He placed a small wooden carving of a white stag on the map. “Unfortunately, we’re not entirely sure, whereas we’ve lost the source of this information.” He placed another piece of paper down on the table. Her drawing, now covered in dried spots of blood.

The small sound of distress she made drew the attention of everyone, and Fedyor looked at her in concern, no doubt because of how fast her heart was pounding in fear. She barely noticed, her wide eyes fixed on the man across the table. The Darkling’s brows were raised as he looked at her, but one of the Fabrikators spoke before he could say anything to her.

“North of Churnast, does that mean it could be in the Permafrost?”

The Darkling looked at him and nodded. “It’s a possibility we have to consider. This means that we would be crossing into Fjerdan territory.”

“General Kirigan,” she managed to say, her voice high and strained. He looked at her once more, waiting for her to continue. “I-” The words stuck in her throat. “You said…” Her eyes flicked about to the other people in the room, full of distress. She couldn’t exactly bring up what they’d spoken of the night before in front of all of them. She doubted they had any idea of his plans, despite being his chosen council. Thankfully, the Darkling realised what she wanted to discuss, and his head tilted up with authority.

“You’re all dismissed,” he addressed the others. “I need to speak to Miss Starkov alone.”

The sound of shuffling and murmurs broke out around the room as the council separated and headed out of the room. Fedyor placed his hand on her arm and informed her he’d be out in the hall if he was needed before slipping out with Ivan. And the two were left alone in the room, the silence heavy between them.

Slowly, the Darkling walked around the table until he was beside her. “What’s wrong, Alina?” His tone gentle but firm.

Her mouth worked silently a couple of times before she was able to get the words out. “I thought that you said you weren’t going to put a collar on me!” she hissed, tears welling in her eyes.

There was a brief look of surprise and realisation on his face before his impassive expression came back once more. She hated that impassive mask. “I said I’d rather you help me willingly, Alina. I have no intention of forcing you to wear it.”

“Then why are you still looking for it?”

He turned to look at the table, leaning heavily against it, and she did the same. “Because war is brewing around us on every front. Our people, Grisha and Otkazat’sya alike, are dying by the dozen every day. It’s only a matter of time until one of our enemies make a move, and we need to move first. Strike before they can. So, no matter our final decision on what we do with the Shadow Fold, you need to be able to control it. You’ve learnt so quickly, but you’re still not strong enough to handle the Fold on your own yet.”

Alina nodded, understanding that part, but she still looked down at the map in trepidation, fear curling in her gut at the idea of him placing a collar on her and channelling her powers. The thing she’d worked so hard to accept and grow, stolen away from her. She didn’t even notice her hand drifting towards her throat.

Aleksander seemed to realise what she was thinking and quickly moved forward, placing his hand on hers on the table, giving it a gentle squeeze. “We will find the Stag, and you can kill it. That way, its power will all be yours, Alina. And, if need be, I can lend you some of mine.” He sent the call through her, and she felt her power rise to meet him, her skin glowing faintly and her heart giving a strange tug as if being pulled towards him by a tether. She let out a deep breath as the familiar sensations of surety and euphoria raced through her. She felt it every time they touched, and she was sure it was only getting stronger. His fingers laced with hers, and her heart tugged once more. “Just think of what we can do together, with my power and the Stag’s amplifying you.” He looked back at the map, his brow furrowed in concern. “If we manage to find it.”

“Mal could find it,” she said automatically. She almost winced, trying not to think of the night before. Aleksander’s hand instantly withdrew from hers, her power fading away with his touch. She shivered from the loss, though it wasn’t the sudden absence of her sunlight that made her grow cold. “He’s the best tracker I know.” She looked at him imploringly, not sure why she felt she had to justify this to him, why she felt like he was drawing away. “He always has been. As a child, we’d go into the meadow, and he would just… find things. Anya Kuya used to say that he could make rabbits out of rocks. He could point out the nearest partridge in the trees or grasses without even seeing it. If anyone could find Morozova’s Stag, it’s him.”

Aleksander rubbed a hand across his mouth, his eyes flitting about in an almost nervous way she hadn’t seen before. Something was wrong…

“Alina I…” He stopped and let out a deep breath. “I need to tell you something. I didn’t want to, after everything yesterday. After Marie. But you have the right to know.”

Trepidation filled her, her heart beating as fast as a hummingbird. “What is it?”

He looked up at her, his eyes intense and earnest. “Your friend, Malyen, is dead.”

The world stopped.

Everything began to spin, the world tilting on its axis. Her breath held tight in her chest for so long she lost track of time. And when she finally drew breath again, it was on a choked sob. Her head shook back and forth harshly, denying what she’d heard. It wasn’t real. It just couldn’t be. There was no way he could be dead.

Not Mal.

Not her stupid best friend. The loveable idiot who had been her home for so many years. He couldn’t be gone. She’d just seen him that morning…

She thought of everything they had said, and it pained her that the last things they’d said to each other were words of hate. That she had let him walk away with a spiteful comment about ‘hoping’ no one killed him as he abandoned her.

Oh, Saints!

Alexander took a step forward to comfort her, his hand already reaching out to cup her face, but she instinctively took a step back, still shaking her head, and he stopped where he was. He looked anguished as he watched tears stream down her face. She could practically feel his need to comfort her, to soothe her pain. But she didn’t think even he could do that. And she didn’t want him to.

“Wh-How?” she croaked out. “When?”

“Baghra,” he told her softly. “She had him killed last night before he could tell me where to find the Stag. He wanted to see you first, but I told him he would have to wait until after the Fête.” He scowled. “No doubt she sent someone loyal to her to kill him, Grisha, Oprichinki, I can’t be sure. But she did make sure to come and rub it in my face once it was done.”

“Last night?” she repeated, and he nodded. “Before you found me?” He nodded once more. This time a look of guilt and worry crept on his face, and she imagined he likely thought she was upset he hadn’t told her earlier. But that was the last thing on her mind right now.

Air filled her lungs, making her dizzy. The world breathed again, though it didn’t stop spinning. Laughter bubbled up within her, incredulous and hysterical. She felt herself almost collapse in on herself in relief, and Aleksander looked at her in mild concern. He was used to all sorts of reactions to grief by now, but that’s not why she couldn’t contain the hysterical laughter.

Mal had said someone had tried to kill him. That one of the Oprichniki had taken him to a hovel near the woods… Baghra had rubbed Mal’s death in his face last night.

“Alina…” She could hear the concern in his voice as she continued to laugh hysterically. His look was now incredulous, and she could practically hear him say, ‘you’re laughing? I tell you your best friend is dead, and you’re laughing?!’

It just made her laugh harder.

“I saw him this morning,” she gasped out, attempting to get her emotions under control. “He’s not- He’s not dead.” She wiped the tears from her face, though they kept flowing, and leaned heavily on the table. “He’s not…”

“You saw him?” He moved closer to her, and this time she allowed him to take her hand. He squeezed it tightly, grounding her and making the world stop spinning so much. The familiar sensation of his amplification washed over her, bringing a calm with it that helped immensely. She took some deep, calming breaths and nodded, wiping at her eyes again. “Tell me everything.”

“It was on the way back to my rooms,” she said, her voice still wavering slightly. “I was halfway down the hall when he suddenly pulled me into a servant’s corridor. Gave me one hell of a scare. I thought the kidnappers had come back for me and really regretted insisting on not having an escort.” She shrugged. “But it was just Mal.”

“He evaded the guards? Even after they’d swept the area a dozen times?” His brow was furrowed in concern, and a smile tugged at Alina’s lips.

“He always was good at hiding. He used to hide from Ana Kuya all the time. And he got forgotten in more games of hide and seek than I can count and came back hours later very upset. Trust me, there’s no issue with the guards. He’s just that good.”

“I see.” He didn’t sound convinced. “And what happened then?”

“Well, he was hurt. A wound on his side. He said that an Oprichniki took him out to a hovel near the woods and tried to kill him. He said it was on your orders.”

“Alina, I wouldn’t-”

“I know,” she told him quickly, squeezing his hand. “He said he’d been tracking the Stag, and I knew that you at least wouldn’t kill him until you had it.”

“Glad to see you have such a high opinion of me,” he muttered.

“He wanted me to go with him.” Aleksander stiffened. “He tried dragging me off, but I wouldn’t let him. I told him I wanted to stay here. I… We got in a fight.”

He glowered. “What kind of fight?”

“Just an argument,” she said quietly. “Not physical or anything.”

Again, the Darkling didn’t look convinced, and it wasn’t until his grey eyes zeroed in on their hands that she realised she’d unconsciously begun rubbing her wrist. Carefully, he brought their still joined hands closer to him, and pushed back her sleeve to reveal the light bruising that lingered there. They’d been light enough she’d been able to hide it from Genya this morning, but now, under his scrutiny, they looked stark against her pale skin. Large fingerprints pressed into her skin where Mal had grabbed her.

The Darkling’s glower intensified, and she knew that if Mal was here, he’d be dead in an instant. Successfully, this time. She could feel the fury rolling off him and reached up to place her hand over the one holding up her sleeve.

“Aleksander, it’s fine,” she told him. She gently pulled her arm away from him, smoothing the sleeve down, and he frowned, his eyes still glued to her wrist. Despite his anger, there was something indescribable in his eyes, the way he looked at her when she said his name.

“He hurt you,” he growled.

“He didn’t mean to. He just didn’t want to leave me here. But…” She shrugged. “I chose to stay.”

“Again.”

She nodded. “Again.” That look was back in his eye. Pride, delight, desire. He was happy that she had chosen him yet again. “He didn’t like that. He left.”

This made his brow furrow once more. “Left, where to?”

“I don’t know.” She shook her head helplessly. “He just said… He just said he was never coming back and walked off down the hall. I went back to my room.” She tried to be nonchalant, but her voice cracked as she spoke, giving her away.

Aleksander’s hand reached up once more and cupped her cheek. “I’m sorry he left,” he told her. “But I’m glad you stayed.”

“What would you do without your Sun Summoner?” she tried to joke.

He tensed, his hand falling away. His mouth grew into a grim line, and he looked away from her. “What indeed,” he murmured.

The silence grew heavy around them once more, the same tense atmosphere as the night before, like there was just too much that neither of them was saying.

“This argument…” He eventually said, his voice quiet and thoughtful. “It happened after you left here last night?” Alina nodded. “And you were feeling angry, upset, annoyed, betrayed?”

“Is there another way you’re supposed to feel during a fight?” She tried to smile, but it fell flat.

He huffed a chuckle. “No, I suppose you’re right.” Still, he looked thoughtful, almost perplexed.

“What is it?” she asked.

“Nothing,” he told her, his brow still furrowed. Alina raised a sceptical eyebrow, and he bowed his head sheepishly, knowing she wouldn’t let it drop. “Well, for one thing, I don’t like that a mere boy was able to evade my guards while the palace was on high alert. And I’m regretting not pushing harder last night and commanding you to be escorted back to your room. If it had been someone less pleasant…” She nodded in agreement. In retrospect, considering all that happened, she had been lucky it was only Mal. But she could also tell that that wasn’t what had him so pensive. That wasn’t enough reason for him to look as calculating and confused. So, she continued looking at him expectantly. “There is something else I’m considering,” he admitted. “But I’m not even sure what it is yet. When I have a better idea, I’ll let you know. Promise.”

“You better,” she mumbled.

He smiled at that before his face fell back into one of concern. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Alina nodded. “I’m not brilliant, but I’ll survive,” she assured him. “We just had some… differences to work out…”

“Let me guess, he thought you lied about being Grisha and doesn’t particularly like that you are one?”

“Among other things.” She was about to ask how he knew when she remembered part of the argument. How they’d shouted at each other, annoyed that the other hadn’t written to them… Suspicion crept into her mind that maybe it had less to do with Mal or the postal system and more to do with the man before her. Her eyes narrowed. “And you!” She suddenly poked him hard in the chest, and he looked down at her finger, affronted. “Why the hell did Mal not get my letters? Why didn’t I get any of his?”

The Darkling just looked at her a moment. There was trepidation in his expression but no remorse. “Ah,” he said simply.

“Ah? Ah! That’s all you have to say? You stopped them being sent, didn’t you?”

The emotion was wiped off his face once more as he looked down at her. “I did what I felt was right, Alina. I won’t apologise for that.”

“How was cutting me off from my oldest friend ‘what’s right’?!” Her voice was shrill, and she whacked him on the chest for good measure. A part of her was in disbelief that she was hitting the most powerful person in all of Ravka, that she was hitting the Black Heretic like it was no big deal. The larger part of her was too pissed off to care.

Instead of physically stopping her as Mal would when she whopped him one, the Darkling simply folded his arms over his chest and leant back against the table, moving just out of her reach. She gave up her attack and settled for looking at him in annoyance. He just looked back at her, studying her with that look that said, ‘I’m hundreds of years older than you, and I know better’.

“Alina, tell me,” he said firmly. “If your letters to Mal had gone through… if you’d received his, would you have trusted anyone else here? Would you have trusted and opened up to me, to Genya, Nadia, Marie…” He left the last name pointedly hanging in the air a moment, and tears filled her eyes thinking of her sweet friend who had died being her decoy less than a day ago. “Or would you have closed yourself off and trusted only him?” She opened her mouth to answer, but he cut her off. “Be honest.”

“I don’t know… maybe. He was all I ever had.”

“Yes, he was. But he doesn’t have to be all you have forever. I know you see it as cruel, but I knew there was a possibility... From the moment we met, you’d been asking for him. Before you’d even left Kribirsk you were trying to go find him. Ivan said you were practically screaming at him from the carriage and kept trying to bargain to go back. And then trying to find a way to go back to him once you reached the Little Place or bring him there. He was all you spoke of. And while I didn’t want you cut off from him as you were, I couldn’t have your only contact being an Otkazat'sya.”

She glared in annoyance, her fists clenching at her sides. “What does that have to do with anything?! Just because he’s not Grisha, doesn't mean-”

“Before you knew you were one, what did you think of Grisha, Alina?” he pressed her, raising his brows as he silently demanded an honest answer. “Before we discovered who you were and took you to the Little Palace, and you began to accept yourself and make friends, what did you think of Grisha? What did he think of Grisha?”

Alina was silent long enough to know that he’d proved his point, and she watched as that hint of a smug, knowing smile tugged at his lips. Though, with how quickly it disappeared, she knew he was making an effort to not show it. She sighed. “We thought the same as everyone else. That Grisha were arrogant, self-important jerks who got every luxury and thought they were better than us because of it. Maybe a little scared of them. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with being Grisha, just that they all had an attitude problem.” She was silent for a moment, twisting her hands together as she looked at her feet. “I guess Mal had some issues he never mentioned.” She let out a dry chuckle. “Well, he did say that Grisha women scare him. Which is rich, considering he apparently tumbled Zoya.” Her voice was bitter, but she didn’t care. Aleksander just continued to stare at her with raised brows. This little bit of information appeared to be news to him - amusing news at that. “Would you stop looking so amused!” she snapped.

Aleksander grinned. “I would say I’m sorry, but we are trying to be honest with one another.”

Alina levelled another glare at him and would have whacked him on the chest again if he were closer. However, the glair fell away into uncertainty as she dwelled on another horrible idea that had popped into her head when she realised he’d kept the letters from her, knowing that he had manipulated her. Hesitantly, she voiced her concern.

“So it wasn’t some… some isolation tactic? Cut me off from my only friend, so I had to turn to you?”

The Darkling stiffened. “Alina, if I wanted to isolate you, do you think I would have sent Genya? Do you think I’d even let you get close to Nadia, Marie, Fedyor, any of the other Grisha? I can assure you, if I’d wanted you isolated, you would have only seen myself and a few guards. And it would have been as simple as saying ‘it was for your protection’ or ‘your training is of the utmost importance, and I can’t afford to leave your care to anyone else’. I didn’t want to isolate you. I wanted you to thrive.” He took a step closer to her, reaching up to her, but thinking better of it and retracting his hand. “This is your home, and I meant it.”

He was right, of course. She knew it. She could only imagine all too easily how he could have used the power at his command to make sure that she saw no one but him. He would have been her lifeline, her only point of human contact. She may have hated him for it a little bit, but she would have been dependant on him. Hatred would have turned to fondness in her desperation to not be alone, to be accepted.

“You shouldn’t have kept those letters from me,” she grumbled.

“Maybe not, but I couldn’t risk you closing yourself off any further, and what’s done is done.” His tone was final, and annoyance rose up within her once more.

“If you’d just talked to me to at the start, asked me to try and make friends instead of trying to control my actions!”

“And you would have trusted that?” he shot back. “When you first got here, Alina, it seemed like you tried to do everything but what I asked of you. You clung to your old life and refused to accept who you were.”

“Well, maybe that wasn’t your decision to make!” she snapped.

“Wasn’t it? We needed our Sun Summoner, and we needed her fast. Do you think the King would have let you idle here and learn at your leisure? No, he expected results, and he expected them fast. Trust me when I say that the consequences would not have been pleasant. The command of Lantsov Kings never are.”

“So, you cut off my contact with my best friend because of a king you hate?”

“When did you learn how to summon at will?” he suddenly asked her.

“What? What does that have to do with anything?! You-”

“Alina,” he said more firmly, staring her down. “When did you learn how to summon at will?”

He knew. And even worse, she knew that he had a point. She hadn’t even realised that she had connected the feeling of pushing down her power with staying with Mal until she was so mad at him, she didn’t want to be with him. She had thought that if he didn’t want to respond to her, then she didn’t need him, and she had felt the sunrise up within her, ready to burn in her fury. But rather than exploring that more, she’d held onto that thread of power and run straight to Baghra’s hut.

“You stopped asking about his letters around the same time. My only guess is that it’s because you let him go. Why is that?”

Alina sighed, stroking the place on her hand where her scar used to be. “I realised… I realised that I’d been holding back for him,” she whispered. “That I’d felt the light rising up inside me all the time. But I pushed it down and ignored it, because even as a child, I knew that whatever it was would tear him away from me. He was the only one I had for so long, I didn’t want that. So, I… I pushed it down and forgot about it. I kept this part of me trapped for so, so long. And it was… a relief to let it go.” Her voice lowered to barely a whisper as she spoke, her thumb pressing even harder into her scarless palm. “Letting him go.”

“I knew that something must be holding you back,” he told her gently. “I thought that perhaps it might have been something to do with your parents or heritage. I’ve seen too many Shu refugees with Wasting Sickness. As you can imagine, being discovered as Grisha on that side of the border is worse than a death sentence. The parents that don’t hand their children over to the authorities often teach their children to suppress their gifts. Better a slow death of their own making than the torture Shu Han scientists would inflict. But then, you kept speaking of Mal, and I knew it must have something to do with him. I don’t make mistakes.” She raised a sceptical eyebrow. “…I don’t make mistakes often,” he amended.

“Did you even think they were mistakes?” she bit back.

Aleksander shrugged. “Does anyone walk into a situation knowing it’s probably a mistake?”

“I did last night,” she said before she could stop the words. “Walking back down that secret passage instead of escaping, I kept wondering if I was making the right choice. I knew you at least wouldn’t kill me, but that’s the only assurance I had.”

Hurt flashed across his features for the briefest moments, but he nodded in understanding. Turning away from her, he looked back at the table, toying with the figurine of a soldier. A part of her laughed at how appropriate that was.

“Do you still want them?” he asked quietly after a moment, making her look at him in surprise.

His question made her pause, and it took her a moment to realise he was talking about Mal’s letters. “You still have them?”

A slight smile tugged at his lips. “I managed to not destroy them in a fit of jealousy,” he joked in his deadpan way. “I must admit, the fireplace was very tempting.” Trying to hold back her own smile, she reached out and gently hit him across the chest again, making his genuine smile light up his face.

“I… I think I want to read them,” she admitted. His smile faded at this slightly, and she gripped his sleeve. “I need to at least know what he said.”

He moved through several expressions before lowering his head. “It’s not all nice, Alina,” he told her. “Your tracker seemed to use his letters to process things. And while some are…” He pulled a face. “Incredibly mawkish, others are… Well, saying he doesn’t like Grisha is a kind way of putting it.”

Alina’s mouth set in a hard line. “I know,” she said. “He definitely let his feelings be known when I saw him.”

The Darkling frowned, unhappy to see her so upset at the words of a mere boy. He could tell that the two had some co-dependency issues, based on what they’d written. He’d hoped that had been broken, but seeing Alina so upset, despite the results, was not something he wanted.

After staring at her a moment longer, he turned sharply on his heel and strode towards his desk. He reached under the desk and pressed the two secret levers that popped out the hidden drawer. From one of the compartments, he pulled out the small stack of letters and held them out to her.

Alina watched as he held a small parcel of papers towards her. He wasn’t looking at her, avoiding her eye, but she noticed when his head drifted back to the drawer, and his hand darted out, grabbed something else and popped it in his mouth. As he chewed, he looked back up at her with wide, innocent eyes, taking in her expression of confusion and curiosity. He looked back down at the drawer before pulling another one and holding it out to her.

“Would you like one?”

“Is that… a sweet?” she asked incredulously.

“Yes.” He continued holding it out to her, waiting for her to take it.

“You just have sweets lying in your drawer?” To her surprise, his cheeks and the tips of his ears tinted pink, and his eyes flicked down to said drawer. Before he could say anything else, she dashed forward, ignoring the sweet in his hand and leant over his desk to look inside. She was giddy to see that other than a few other folded up papers, most of the drawer was filled with neatly sorted candies. There were more sweets in that one drawer than she had ever seen in her entire life. Her mouth popped open in shock at the realisation.

The Darkling was a sweet tooth. A sweet hoarder!

“General!” she admonished.

Aleksander fidgeted awkwardly, no longer holding the sweet out to her. She watched as he tilted his chin up defiantly, his brows raised but mirth in his eyes despite the stern expression.

“You know my one true weakness, Miss Starkov,” he told her. “I’m afraid that I can’t let you live.”

For a second, fear shot through her, but then a burst of laughter escaped her at the absurdity.

“That drawer has at least five times more sweets than I’ve ever seen my life!” she gasped. “I think that with what you’ve done, you owe me more than one!”

Aleksander’s lips pursed, and his eyes narrowed. Then, he sighed.

“Very expensive taste,” he muttered. He reached into the drawer once more, selecting several different candies and balancing them on top of Mal’s letters, once more holding them out to her.

With hesitant, shaking hands, Alina took them.

Author Note:

Honestly, half of the letter scenes were writing way back when I first started. It’s great to finally work them into the story.

Things are going to get sad next chapter. I promise I’ll make it up to you all later!

Chapter Index | First Chapter | << Previous Chapter | Next Chapter >>

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littlepurinsesu · 5 years

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V Watches MagiReco - Episode 12 Review

*Spoilers for Magia Record Anime Episode 12*

I have been waiting for so long to see this chapter animated, and at long last!!! This week’s episode finally touches upon the secret truth of magical girls and reveals Yachiyo’s mysterious past!

There are, of course, some parts I wish were handled a little better, but overall, I wouldn’t say it was too shabby ^^ I have a lot to say about this episode, both the good and the meh, so let’s go~ (Tumblr, please don’t eat my post again I IMPORE YOU.)

(Oh, for clarification, I’m still using the name “Meru” instead of “Mel”, since that’s what her name was before the game was localised in English. Both are acceptable, but I guess I’m more used to this spelling xD)

I personally really liked how they began the episode with Kanae and Meru at Mikazuki Villa. The rain and dark lighting and overall silence of the scene was really well-done. It’s a nice way to “tease” their characters before properly introducing them and their roles in Yachiyo’s story. I really don’t have much else to say, but I just really, really liked that opening scene hehe

Speaking of openings, the anime continues to come up with creative ways to bring in the OP, and this week’s was another really interesting idea that I enjoyed a lot! I was just beginning to wonder if they were going to skip the OP this week because there was so much to cover, but I really liked what they came up with, so hats-off for the creativity and originality! ^^

Touka’s lecture really did seem even more lecture-like in the anime, with the lecture hall and screen and her pointer. She’s like a tiny, overly-enthusiastic professor trying to force a reluctant group of students to listen to her haha x) That being said, all the special effects were done very creatively in a way that is true to the PMMM style. It’s not only some impressive artwork, but it also prevents the lecture from becoming boring, since it’s literally just “info dumping” and a whole lot of exposition (most of it essentially being stuff that most of the audience already knows, too).

As for Touka herself, I’m really liking the anime’s portrayal of her. She’s extremely cute, but in a strange way that almost seems suspicious, and with just the right amount of “annoying-ness” that keeps her antagonistic role without making her so obnoxious that you can’t even bear to watch her. Each of her moves seems calculated in some way, and the way she leaps around and twirls her umbrella really does make her seem like a tiny fairy or pixie, and I love that contrast between her supposedly innocent image and the immoral deeds the Magius (and the Feathers) have been committing. A+ portrayal so far, and I hope they keep that up!

I was a bit confused at first when Touka addressed Kanae as “A” (since we know that in the game, “A” is Yachiyo, and Kanae is actually “C”), but I guess they weren’t planning on going ahead with the A-F naming of all 6 characters and this was just a one-off, so fair enough. However, I was a little annoyed that they showed the first secret in “lecture form” and then repeated it once more in “flashback form” once they got on the car thingy. I really felt that they could have skipped that first part and just focused on the flashbacks, because they’re essentially wasting time by telling one of the secrets twice in an episode that already has a lot to cover.

And this brings me to possibly my main issue with this episode: too fast. There was a lot of emotion in these flashbacks, and while the anime did bring them out decently, I just feel that they could have been even better if they had just managed the pacing a little more ideally. The tragedy and feels were definitely there, but it could have been even better. Another problem with this fast pacing is that we barely got to know Kanae and Meru before they met their respective downfalls, with the only clues to their individuality being Kanae’s guitar and Meru’s Tarot Cards. It tells us something, but it’s not enough. The result is that it becomes a lot harder for the audience to feel anything for these characters’ deaths, and Kanae and Meru ultimately become plot devices that serve to move Yachiyo and the others along on their journey. Granted, they were always kind of plot devices even in the game, but at least we got to know them a little better before their deaths, and this isn’t even counting their personal Magical Girl Stories.

But aside from these issues, the rest of the flashbacks were very well, in my opinion :) We as an audience may not have felt much for Kanae’s death because we barely knew her, but Yachiyo’s trembling hand as she tries in vain to purify her friend’s broken Soul Gem, the terrific voice acting, that tragic yet beautifully drawn shot of Kanae lying soulless (literally) on the ground... That was some impressive stuff that actually made me tear up.

The battle scenes also saw a huge improvement this week! Still could be better, but they’re a lot more action-packed and exciting than the quick and easy battles we’ve been seeing so far. I also really appreciate the show of teamwork between the old Team Mikazuki, not to mention that Meru’s use of magic looked absolutely amazing!!! But I would have liked it if she spoke a bit more before Witching out, and I was especially disappointed that she didn’t get to say that line about how today was her lucky day because she got to protect Yachiyo. That line says a lot about her as a character to me, and it was a shame that they only gave her an extremely shortened/simplified (and almost unfinished) version of it here. But I guess this is only because I’ve played the game and have expectations of what I want to see and what I think should be done. Maybe someone who hasn’t played the game at all wouldn’t have an issue with this minor detail haha :)

(By the way, I totally called it and guessed that they were going to release Meru’s Doppel Uncap with the debut of her Witch form in the anime mwahaha >:D Pretty good timing, though, and I like that attention to detail!)

Kyubey is a little sh*t in any and every timeline, and I did enjoy seeing Momoko yelling at him, even though obviously he gives no effs. Another nice nod to the original anime by having Kyubey using the same line about young girls and Witches, too (or maybe he’s had to defend himself so many times that he has the perfect justification memorised to use when needed? xD).

The scene with Mifuyu and Momoko was also a really nice way to show the difference in their personalities, through just the way they respond to and take in all the tragedy and shocking information. I loved the way they animated Mifuyu’s Witch/Doppel moment, and it’s always nice to see a Doppel shown in the anime! Another thing I liked was the way Touka seems to “control” the scene as she pleases, rewinding it like an actual video and pausing on particular frames. It was too easy to forget that these are scenes shown in the Memory Museum, and little details like this remind you that these aren’t just ordinary flashbacks shown in anime and movies.

Yachiyo was as cool ever in the very few (present) scenes she got. I especially loved her confrontation with Touka and how she literally just thrusts her weapon in her face haha. And the way she just ignores Touka talking and smashes open a path and just goes in there herself on foot? BADASS. I LOVE YACHIYO.

And finally, about Team Momoko... A bit funny how Momoko was the one gearing up for the Big Talk but mostly just ended up standing there for the whole thing xD But anyway, I really, really loved Rena in this scene. It’s probably the first time we’ve seen her being so honest with her feelings by hugging Kaede and straight-up telling her how worried she was. It’s these small moments that really make me love Rena so much, no matter how harsh and prickly she can be most of the time. I really liked the scene in the game where she goes to Kaede’s place to comfort her (even if they ended up slapping each other lmao), because it really did show how much Rena cares for her friends. But this anime version was quite nice too and also does some good for Rena’s characterisation, so I’ll take it :)

As for Kaede... what happened to my sweet sunshine child? I’m not liking the dead look in her eyes and how she sounds like a zombie... almost like she’s in a trance? And also... what was with that line at the end? Did Kaede join the Wings of Magius? Is she brainwashed? Would that explain her strange behaviour and way of speech? If any of this is true, then this will probably be the biggest deviation the anime has done, and I’d be both scared and interested to see how they handle it lol.

So yeah, an interesting episode that could have been super impressive if it weren’t for some of the issues I discussed, but overall, still enjoyable and decently good :) I really think the majority of the MagiReco anime’s issues comes from the pacing. Which is understandable, because they’re pressed for time and there’s a lot to squeeze in. It’s just a bit of a shame that so many important scenes and moments don’t translate as amazingly as they could have due to time constraints :(

Next week’s episode will be the final one, right? I know nothing’s been confirmed, but I’m almost certain that there’s going to be another season/cour after this. (They wouldn’t just leave it hanging like that... right? O___O) My guess is that we’ll see Tsuruno, Felicia, and Sana join the Wings of Magius, Yachiyo split up the team, and possibly Iroha going up against the Rumour herself and declaring herself the leader. These are all really important plot points, and adding to the fact that next week will be the (season) finale, hopefully we can end it with a huge BANG! Will we see Holy Mami? Will we see Sayaka? Or will we perhaps see Kuroe, rounding up the season by going full circle and bringing us back to the hanging threads left from all the way back in Episode 1?

It’s almost surreal to think that we only have one more episode left of this season!!! Let’s hope that it’ll end in the best way possible (even if that means leaving us on a cliffhanger lololol) ٩(^ᴗ^)۶

#magia record #magireco #puella magi madoka magica #puella magi madoka magica side story #pmmm #fandom #mine #anime #review #magia record review #v watches magireco

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mrslittletall · 4 years

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Title: The Crazy Cat Vicar (Chapter 9) Fandom: Bloodborne Characters: Laurence the first Vicar, Laurence' secretary Florence (OC), Gehrman the first Hunter, Lady Maria of the Astral Clocktower Word Count: 1.928 AO3-Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20989841/chapters/59851126 Previous chapter: https://mrslittletall.tumblr.com/post/619196140363071488/title-the-crazy-cat-vicar-chapter-8

Summary: It's the countdown. The ten seconds you have to save your carpet. Or your couch. Whatever. The important thing is, that cat has to get somewhere else!

(Author's note: My apologies, but this chapter is a bit gross because it focuses on the habit of cats to puke out things, mostly hairballs. I swear, every cat owner will know the struggles in this chapter. I very much give an emetophobia warning, because there is some teasing vomit talk, but there is nothing too graphic.

Also, the only reason I pumped this out already was that I received some fanart made by @onlytheembersremain for the last chapter!)

“So, we expect your presence around-”, the church minister said, but Laurence interrupted him.

“Hold that thought, I will be back in a few minutes.”, he rattled down and then was off, leaving a very confused church minister behind.

The problem was, while the church minister had talked with him, Laurence had started to hear what he referred to as the “countdown”. It was a gurgling kind of sound and he swore, from the first time it was heard, he could count down from ten and when he was at zero it would be too late. Laurence considered himself lucky that he had heard it this time, because often enough he wasn't present when the countdown happened and was met with a wet and gross surprise.

“I got yoooouuuu!”, Laurence shouted as he rounded the corner where Mary was about to finish the countdown and hurled the cat from the carpet, only for Mary to stop retching for a second, turning around and then finishing the countdown right on the carpet.

“Oh, Mary, COME ON!”, Laurence yelled, barely believing that he had made it in time only for the wet and gross hair ball to land on the carpet anyway. Mary just looked at him as she licked her snout and gave him a mew.

“Don't fucking mew me, Lady, you are in trouble.”, Laurence said, pointing down on her, narrowing his eyes. “But first... I have to clean up.”

Grumbling, Laurence went down the corridor and mumbled to himself: “That church minister probably thought I had to run to the bathroom or something... I swear, they better not have any rumours about me having the runs or something similar...”

Laurence stopped in front of a closet and got a bucket and a cleaning cloth out, stopped at the nearest bathroom to fill it with water and fetch a towel and then went back to where Mary had puked out her hairball, of course the cat wasn't present anymore, running away from her punishment. He kneeled down and wrapped the hairball into the towel. “Disgusting.”, he said as he felt the gross and warm thing. Hair balls didn't sound so bad on paper, but the fact that they were coated in hot stomach acid made them so much worse. Once the hairball was safely secured and on the side, he moistened the cleaning cloth and was just about to start scrubbing the carpet, when Florence' voice sounded.

“Oh, Vicar, I heard that you got sick, but I had no idea that you didn't made it. Shouldn't you go lay down and take some blood and let me clean this up?”, she said.

“Already?! Shit, Florence, I am not sick, it was Mary!”, Laurence yelled as he shot up, pointing at the towel, upset that the church minister already had interpreted him running away in the worst way possible. Had he given the expression that he needed to puke? He might have looked pretty shocked once he had heard the countdown and maybe had sweat a bit and maybe had been pale and... he pretty much had given the impression as if he had needed to puke.

Laurence sighed and kneeled down again when Florence said: “The countdown?”

“The countdown.”, Laurence confirmed and started to scrub the carpet, unsure if he would ever get the stain out of it.

“But Vicar, you don't have to clean it up yourself, let me handle this.”, Florence said, already on her knees.

“Didn't you had trouble with your back this month?”, Laurence asked, fully aware that his secretary wasn't the youngest anymore.

“Oh, nothing what the healing blood can't fix.”, Florence waved aside with a smile.

“Still, I know that you don't like to be overabundant on the blood.”, Laurence said. He personally couldn't get enough of the stuff, it may have turned into a slight problem, but he could stop anytime, he just didn't had a reason to. Florence on the other hand, was seeing the blood more as a medicine that should be used for emergencies as well as sicknesses and injuries that would had trouble healing on their own. Her bad back normally wouldn't be a reason for her to take the blood.

“While this is true, what shall the church servants think when they see their Vicar sitting down scrubbing the carpet? That action is below your dignity, your grace.”, Florence said.

“These are still my cats and I am responsible for them.”, Laurence said. “If anyone sees me like this, so shall it be. I am just taking responsibility for the mess they are making. I mean, it could be worse. At least it was only the carpet.”

“Yes, I remember when Mary vomited all over the library books once.”, Florence said and Laurence groaned at the memory: “Don't even remind me of that. I spend fucking two hours apologizing to the librarian in charge while having to find puke anywhere and everywhere, in cracks and chinks where puke never should have travelled!”

“I wonder why Mary is so susceptible to the countdown?”, Florence asked as Laurence squeezed out the cloth and made it wet anew.

“It's her fur, I think.”, he said. “She cleans herself and swallows a lot of fur and that has to come out again. Granted, the other cats sometimes do the countdown too, but it is Mary in 90 % of the cases. At least with her I can be sure it is a hairball, Mick once found it funny to puke out a whole bowl of food because he had eaten too fast and Gary was puking out parts of a mouse he must have hunted. That was some fucking horror show to clean up...” Laurence wrinkled his nose at the memory. “When I took in cats, nobody warned me about the countdown.”

“I heard it is different from cat to cat.”, Florence said. “I also heard that cat owners get used to it.”

“I certainly got used to it by now.”, Laurence sighed, scrubbing on the stain., “But I still try to prevent the countdown from landing on my carpet whenever I hear it. Ugh, that feels like it already burned itself into the carpet. I wonder if this is how Gehrman felt whenever he had to clean up my vomit.”

“That felt definitely worse.”, Gehrman said, making Laurence shot around, hissing: “What are you doing here?!”

“Watching you being on vomit cleaning for once, quite entertaining.”, Gehrman grinned and then greeted Florence.

“If you are already here, can you at least help me?”, Laurence complained, but Gehrman shook his head. Florence raised her brows because Laurence had declined her helping just five minutes earlier.

“I think I had my fare share of helping you clean up vomit already during your regular stomach flus back in the school.”, Gehrman said.

“He got sick easily, huh?”, Florence asked, eyes focused on Gehrman, clearly interested in what Laurence' old friend had to say.

“That is an understatement.”, Gehrman grinned. “He would get a cold with a high fever every winter, we could bet on when it would happen. And sometimes he even got the cold outside of winter. And, like I said, often enough he got himself a stomach flu and had to spend the next few hours either hunched over the toilet or with a bucket. I got really good at reading the signs for when Laurence had to puke, but sometimes I came too late and then it meant cleaning time.”

“So you had kind of a countdown of your own.”, Florence said.

“Countdown?”, Gehrman asked.

“That's what we call it when the cats are about to puke.”, Laurence said, an eye twitching in anger, “And I would cherish if you wouldn't go around and tell everyone about when and where I had to puke.”

“First, I have only told Florence and second, I haven't even told her specifics. But I can, if you wish to hear, Florence.”, Gehrman had a glint in his eyes and Laurence shot up, almost shoving the dirty cleaning cloth in Gehrman's face, or more his chest, Laurence just was too small to reach Gehrman's face properly.

“Don't you dare.”, he grumbled.

“It looks like Laurence doesn't want us to have fun.”, Gehrman said, shrugging. “I am sorry, Florence, but at least I can answer your question. Yes, I indeed had a countdown when I realized that Laurence needed to hurl. It were usually five seconds and I swear I could never move faster than when it started.”

“For the cats we have about ten seconds.”, Florence replied. “For some reason, they like to take their time with the countdown.”

“And I still was too late.”, Laurence sighed and put the finish touch on his scrubbing. He had the feeling the carpet would be stained forever, but at least it wasn't obvious anymore. “There, that should do it. And don't try and clean it too, Florence.”

“I haven't done anything.”, Florence said.

“I can see that itch in your eyes.”, Laurence said, knowing what a clean freak his secretary could be.

“I don't see what the problem of her cleaning it again is.”, Gehrman said. “Why were you even cleaning it up in the first place?”

“Because the Vicar sees it as his responsibility.”, Florence replied. “Even though he asked you to help earlier and you declined.”

“Well, yeah, because I used to clean and am pretty good at it, it was just too amusing to see Laurence clean up for once.” Gehrman grinned.

“Shut up, Gehrman. Why are you even here alone? Where is Maria?”, Laurence asked.

“Oh, she is...”, Gehrman said when Maria came around the corner, carrying a cup with a steaming hot liquid and said: “Hey, Laurence, I brought you some chamomile tea for your upset stomach.”

Laurence just stood there and tapped his food: “Florence, would you please go around and tell everyone in the church that I don't suffer from food poisoning?”

“Understood.”, Florence said and gave Laurence a bow before she hurried down the hallway.

“Oh, so you are fine? I heard that you hurried away in the middle of a conversation, so I thought that you got sick.”, Maria said. “Do you still want the tea?”

“Yes, I would like the tea.”, Laurence said and took the cup from Maria, taking a sip. “It wasn't me who got sick, it was Mary. Hairball, you know.”

“Ah yes, I have stepped in one of them once.”, Maria nodded. “Disgusting little things. Hard to think that it could come out of something as cute as a cat.”

“The same could be said about Laurence' puke.”, Gehrman grinned which prompted Laurence to deliberately step on his foot, the one that was still there.

“I think I am overstepping my boundaries.”, Gehrman grinned and backed away.

“One more dumb saying and I am stepping on something else.”, Laurence warned and then his head jerked around as he heard it again. The countdown.

“Fuck!”, he yelled and was off. Gehrman and Maria just glanced at each other.

“Should we follow him?”, Maria asked.

“Yes, I think we should.”, Gehrman said and soon the duo were on their friend's tail, ready to help him clean up whatever cat would finish the countdown yet. (Author's note: One time Clara projectile vomited all over the keyboard of my husband. There wasn't even a countdown, it just happened. Clara managed to puke in so many hard to clean places, she surely is a pukey cat. She mostly pukes out whatever she ate and this cat is ALWAYS hungry, I don't get it. Geraldina is the classical hair ball puker, when she pukes you can be sure that it will be a hairbal 99 % of the time. Lately she likes to sit behind me on the couch, she is also sitting there right this moment. Write me stories about your cats in the comments, maybe I take some inspiration for future chapters.) Chapter 10

#bloodborne #fanfiction #laurence the first vicar #oc florence #gehrman the first hunter #lady maria of the astral clocktower #littlewritesstuff

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onlycags · 4 years

Text

Spank Me | Çağlar Söyüncü

This post was *cringe* inspired by Fifty Shades, but, unlike he-who-shall-not-be-named-abusive-asshat-Christian-Grey, our baby actually knows what aftercare is and isn’t a dick.

Word Count: 2,032 Rating: NC-17 Description: I think the title says it all ;)

Enjoy!

- - -

It started out innocently enough. You had put on Fifty Shades of Grey because you were bored and wanted a laugh. It was pure coincidence that Çağlar had shown up at your flat, looking for something to do. You invited him in, already two glasses of wine deep, giggling as you poured him his own.

The two of you sat on the couch, your legs across his powerful thighs. You giggled at the idiocy in almost every scene, looking at the drinking game on your phone to confirm it fit the arbitrary game’s criteria before taking a swig. You were far from being drunk but you were definitely making your way towards tipsy.

You rolled your eyes at the scene on the screen. Christian was about to spank Ana for a reason you couldn’t remember. All you could think about was how wrong the scene was.

“No no NO!” You yelled at your TV, paying no mind to Çağlar who had begun to laugh at your antics. “That’s not how consensual BDSM works, you fucker!”

“What do you mean, [Y/N]?” Çağlar asked, setting his wine glass down on the end table.

You huffed in annoyance, stalling for time as you wordlessly handed him your wineglass to set on the table. What you were about to admit wasn’t something that you went around telling anyone, but the alcohol and how comfortable you felt around Çağlar helped the words spill out of your mouth. “I mean,” you started, gesturing towards the TV, “that that isn’t how consensual BDSM works! Both parties have to enter into it with all expectations on the table and a safe word, and an understanding of hard and soft limits. Being a submissive is nothing like what Ana makes it out to be and any Dom who acts like Christian is not a Dom - they’re an abusive asshole that takes advantage of people who know next-to-nothing about BDSM.”

Çağlar turned his attention from you to the television, where Ana was being pulled over Christian’s lap for a punishment spanking. “What do you know about BDSM?” He asked, both excited for and dreading your response.

You shrugged, attempting to remain as nonchalant and as unaffected as possible, but inside you were starting to get turned on just explaining this. “It’s my kink.”

You quietly braced yourself for his reaction - most people got weird about kinks - but he surprised you by placing a hand on your knee. “Which part?” He asked and you could have sworn you heard a hint of jealousy in his voice at the prospect of you engaging in BDSM with someone who wasn’t him.

“All of it. Mostly spanking, though.” You gestured to the screen just as Christian started to spank Ana. “I haven’t found anyone who could handle it - all the guys I trusted enough to do it either think I’m made of glass or just don’t have the confidence for it.”

You held your breath as Çağlar sat silently next to you, processing everything you had told him. You were fairly open about yourself, but the one thing you had never ventured into with one of the guys was the topic of sex. As James Maddison’s friend from childhood, you had become friends with most of the boys, but Çağlar was the one you were closest to outside of Madders. He was also the one you were most attracted to, but you would rather die than tell that to anyone.

When he spoke next, his accent was thicker than usual and there was a heat in his gaze that you felt down to your core. “Would you like a spanking, [Y/N]?”

“N-now?” You stuttered, unable to believe that this was actually happening.

“It doesn’t have to be now, but-”

“Yes,” you interrupted, your voice taking on a breathy quality as your breathing increased.

He reached out his hand and you placed yours in his. With a sharp tug, he pulled you over his lap. You gasped at being so exposed, and he hadn’t even taken down your sweatpants.

A part of you desperately hoped the rumours were true. James, Ben and a bunch of the other Leicester City players were always talking about how Çağlar liked inflicting pain on other people, and you couldn’t wait to find out. Ever since you had met him, you had wanted to find out, and you couldn’t believe it was happening now.

The sharp sting of Çağlar’s hand on your ass brought you back to reality. “Harder,” you moaned, barely feeling the first one.

His response was to spank your other ass cheek, causing you to whimper.

“Another, please, Sir,” you said, breathless, surprising yourself at how quickly the moniker slipped out.

Slap!

Another gasp. You could feel how wet you were, and you couldn’t wait for Çağlar to take down you sweatpants.

You counted out each slap until you reached ten. Once you reached ten, he stopped. You were breathing heavily, and you could feel his growing erection beside you. His hand rested on your lower back, causing you to break out in goosebumps at the contact.

Slowly, his hand moved down, his fingers curling under the waistband of your sweatpants. You braced yourself on the couch, lifting your hips so your sweatpants slid down to your ankles.

“What do we have here?” He muttered in his thick accent, brushing his thumb over the wet spot on your panties. Your cheeks burned hot, the humiliation only turning you on further. You briefly wondered when his English had improved but you lost all train of thought when he slapped your ass again.

Once again, you counted to ten, growing wetter with each slap. His thumb returned between your legs, putting pressure on your clit and making you moan. “Çağlar, please,” you begged, wiggling your hips. Your panties came down shortly after, but he didn’t start spanking you right away. He slipped a finger into your wet heat, and you whimpered. A second finger followed, and you cried out, his name on your lips.

He thrust his fingers rhythmically in and out, watching as you came apart from his touch. Just as you were about to reach orgasm, he slid his fingers out and stuck them in his mouth. “You taste so good, [Y/N],” he whispered, his accent sending shivers down your spine.

Before you could react, he was spanking you again. You clutched at the couch, trying to grasp onto something - anything - but the thick couch material didn’t allow for you to grab onto it. “Çağlar!” You screamed as the last slap landed on your burning ass.

He helped you up, and you blushed as your eyes met his. Instinctively, you reached back to rub your ass, but Çağlar pulled you into his lap, the same hand that caused you pain now rubbing soothing circles on your back.

After a few moments, he tugged off your sweatpants and panties, letting them land softly on the ground. You pulled your shirt over your head, letting it fall on top of the rest of your discarded clothes.

Çağlar laid you back slowly, his hands spreading your thighs. You whimpered again, the cool air hitting your exposed pussy. “Let me make you feel good,” he whispered, licking his lips as he buried his face between your legs.

You cried out, tangling your fingers in his hair, your hips bucking wildly as he sucked on your clit. His moans of pleasure vibrated on your sensitive skin, and you found yourself screaming his name as you rode his face.

***

Over the next few weeks, the two of you spent any free time you had with each other. He became the first person you texted after a long day at work, needing relief.

Sure enough, he was over within the hour, bending you over a surface, spanking you until you cried, needing the emotional and physical release. Each time, he took care of you afterward, never asking for anything in return, but there were times where you sank to your knees, the only aftercare you needed being his cock in your mouth.

The most memorable session happened after a devastating 3-0 loss to Chelsea. You had arrived home after the match to find a text one your phone reading, “I want you in nothing but my jersey. No panties.”

When your doorbell buzzed, you could feel your wetness dripping down your thigh as you opened the door, Çağlar on the other side dressed in his matchday suit. Wordlessly, he backed you up against the wall, his hand slipping between your legs. He smirked as you let out a groan. “So wet for me, babe, and I haven’t even done anything to you.”

You were panting, barely able to form words. “Spank me, Çağlar. Please.”

He grabbed you by the wrist, flinging you against the back of the couch. You gasped as his calloused hands spread your ass cheeks. He stepped away, but not before swiping his finger along the inside of your thigh, collecting your arousal and sucking on his finger. You started to lift yourself off the couch, but he stopped you with a sharp slap on each asscheck. “Stay.” He ordered, and you could barely hear the sounds of his belt slipping out of his pants over your panting.

Up until now, he had only used his hands to spank you; the belt was new. He tested it out, lightly slapping it against your thighs. When he lashed it across your ass, you gasped. “Harder, please!”

He didn’t listen, continuing the motion with the same pace and severity that was driving you mad. You wanted whatever pain he was willing to inflict upon you, but you were unprepared for this. “Çağlar!” You moaned, desperate for him to hit you harder.

He stopped, placing the belt next to your body. Placing his hands on your hips, he lifted you off the couch and turned you to face him. The tortured look on his face hurt you more than any spanking he had ever administered. “Oh, Çağlar,” you whispered, bringing a hand to his face, dragging him down for a kiss. Wetness brushed across your cheeks as you kissed him, and it took you a moment to realize that he was crying.

His forehead rested against yours, his eyes still closed. You brought your other hand up to wipe his cheeks, your heart aching for him. His arms wound around your lower back and he pulled you against him. When he released you, you threaded your fingers through his and led him to your bedroom.

“Lay down,” you ordered, pulling his suit jacket from his torso. He did as you asked, and you climbed on top of him, straddling his powerful body that had worked so hard today. One by one, you undid each button, placing a kiss on each patch of skin you exposed. When you were finished, he sat up, abs rippling as you pulled the material over his shoulders and arms. You gasped at the dark bruises that were already starting to form on his ribs, evidence of his heavy collision with Tammy Abraham on the pitch today. You ran your hands over them, your touch featherlight. His grunt of pain had you leaning down to press a kiss to his bruised flesh.

With his belt out of the way, you undid the button and zipper on his pants, sliding them down his sturdy thighs, relishing the way the muscles bunched and stretched. His cock sprang free - your eyes met his and you couldn’t help but smirk knowing he had gone commando just for you. Moving down his body, you pressed a kiss to the head of his cock, licking off the drops of precum that begun to form. Reaching into your nightstand, you grabbed a condom and rolled it over his cock before mounting him.

You rode him slowly, careful not to place your hands on his bruises. When you climaxed together, you leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips.

“Maybe tomorrow you’ll use the belt on me.”

He huffed out a laugh as he kissed your temple. “Guess we’ll find out in the morning, Darling.”

#cags writing #cags originals

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gettingtoknowmj · 5 years

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A WARNING TO MICHAEL JACKSON FANS - MATT FIDDLES IS A PRESS RAT AND WAS NEVER MICHAEL'S BODYGUARD

Because of my Michael Jackson page I have been afforded communication with a man formally on Michael Jackson's security team. We have talked a number of times after something on my page made him contact me. I have all proof I need that he is the real deal. He has said I can post this message, encouraged it.

Now unlike some bodyguards that hung around MJ in his last years and have made money out of their association. This guy hasn't and doesn't plan to; he doesn't even really want his face and name known but he knew Micheal for a good number of years (but not after 2004). He loved the man he called complicated, sometimes frustrating but a true good heart. He does not claim the status of friendship but keen observer of his boss, who was mostly very kind to him. He saw Michael at the best and at his worst, and felt for him. And Michael Jackson was more vulnerable than I personally imagined.

And one thing he has definitely confirmed to me is not to trust Matt Fiddles (pictured). The man popping up all over the media claiming to have been Michael's bodyguard for ten years, he is a fake and a fraud. He did not guard Michael Jackson for more than a few days back in 2002. He was an associate of Uri Geller's not Michael's bodyguard! Michael agreed to help Geller on a project. When Michael came to England this Matt Fiddles agreed free of charge for Uri Geller to pose as a bodyguard for Michael Jackson.

The things Fiddles has been saying in the press of late on the face of it seem harmless, perhaps beneficial. Yes, he is coming across as a defender of Michael Jackson's honour. He could fool anyone, including me... he did! But this guy has said nasty stuff in the past. He has a dark history of slandering Michael Jackson. That older fans are choosing not to knowledge and newer fans don't know about...

This past week since getting the alert about Matt Fiddles I and a Facebook friend of mine have attempted to warn fans on various Michael Jackson groups only to have pending posts deleted before they can be seen! It seems some group owners are keen on Matt Fiddles.

Yes, I know some of you are probably thinking "but Matt Fiddles is defending Michael Jackson. He even took apart in Chase The Truth documentary where he debunked stuff to do with Neverland... I want to believe him, it makes me feel more assured of Michael's innocence. Matt Fiddles has even said how Michael was very interested in women, and sneaked women into his hotel room! I want that to be true". I hate to break it to you, I am sorry to say but Matt Fiddles never worked at Neverland nor was he a member of his tour security.

None of Michael's real bodyguards, including the lovely man on security I have talked to remember him at all. In fact, no sneaking in of any women happened on his watch. He just saw families touring with Michael with their kids. Some of them did share and sleep in same huge hotel room at times but so did a member of security (before anybody jumps to unpleasant conclusions). If he had secret girlfriends who knows maybe he did but Matt Fiddles was not there to know. Because nobody remembers him!

Michael's makeup artist Karen Faye doesn't remember Fiddles either, don't believe me? Ask her. She is easy to contact.

Michael's friend from child to man Frank Cascio has never heard of Matt Fiddles either.

The late Frank DiLeo was asked in 2009 about Matt... and you guessed it... never heard of him.

Michael's mother has also publicly outted Matt Fiddles as a fake in the past too. Yes, Katherine Jackson, Michael's own mother: “‘Fiddes tried to pretend that he was a close friend of my son Michael, but when I spoke to Michael about him, he could not remember who he was. The whole family was deeply upset by the interviews he gave shortly after Michael’s death, which no friend would have done.’

Trust me, if Matt Fiddles was a character witness he wouldn't be called in a legal case for Michael Jackson's defence.

MATT FIDDLES LIES YOU PROBABLY WERE NOT AWARE HE CREATED IN THE PRESS

NO NOSE LIE: Matt caused some of the crazy rumours that Michael Jackson had a fake nose for years and at time of death that fell off. When anyone that has read Michael's autopsy report (not a happy task, I don't recommend it) and can see from the photos (again really upsetting, not recommend...), his nose was actually fine at time of death...

It is true that he had a number of reconstructive procedures on his nose mostly due to complications caused by lupus (and even according to security man I am in communication with, did have a hole in tip at one time caused by that!) but he did not have a full on fake nose! EVER! And as I say, issues with his nose were fixed. No fake nose.

SKIN BLEACHING AND SELF RACE HATE: Matt Fiddles claimed Michael hated his skin colour so much he almost BURNED off his willy with bleaching creams. Autopsy report, Michael had a NORMAL uncircumcised penis (I feel bad for knowing these kind of details... truly no privacy but in good cause, sorry Michael!). Certainly not brunt off by skin bleaching creams. Autopsy also showed Michael was a longtime sufferer of vitiligo. Not race hate.

NAZI SYMPATHISER: Matt Fiddles has stated that Michael Jackson was obsessed with Nazis, had admired Hitler and hated Jews. Funny that Micheal should choose a woman of Jewish faith Debbie Rowe as surrogate mother in order that he could experience becoming a father, even to please his mother's religious beliefs married Debbie so the children could be born of wedlock (something very important to Witnesses). And Michael was at one time firm friends with a Rabbi and was best man at a Jewish wedding! He even donned a skull cap for it. And Michael lovingly recounted stories of dear Rose Fine, the Jewish tutor he’d had as a child whom he credited as giving him a lifelong passion for reading.

On a related note: Matt said Michael POKED holes in a voodoo doll he made of Steven Spielberg after the singer became a Nazi sympathiser, err? Yeah... imaginative.

MICHAEL ASKED BODYGUARDS TO SHOOT RANDY: Michael Jackson ordered his bodyguards to kill his brother Randy Jackson when Randy was in a dispute with Michael. This was supposed to have been said in front of Randy. A story his real bodyguards at the time say is laughable and Randy even released a statement that it never happened.

SPERM STEALING: Matt Fiddles has claimed Michael stole his sperm to father Blanket. On 17th November 2010 Matt Fiddes sold a story claiming that in 2 months (January 2011) he will be flying out to California to take a DNA test to establish that he is the father. He never did.

"He won't go to L.A., he has no intention!" Fiddes ex-girlfriend Carly Galliford said via Twitter. "He loves the attention, not caring about the Jacksons." Galliford (who claims she was with Fiddes when he came up with the baby-daddy tale) said that Fiddes admitted to lying about being Blanket’s father to her face, years ago.

In the interest of being fair and balanced it should be noted. There are many sources that claim Michael didn't father any of his children, some more credible than others (let's not go there, his private business... wouldn't change the fact he was dad). IF Michael didn't, you can be reasonably sure Matt Fiddles didn't either. Matt Fiddes was in Michael’s life for all of 5 minutes. He wasn’t Michael's close friend, he certainly wasn’t a confidant. It's highly unlikely that Michael chose Fiddles as a donor.

KILL MYSELF WITH SAME PILLS AS MICHAEL KILLED HIMSELF WITH: On 3rd December 2010 a story appears in the Sun claiming that the stress of putting himself forward as Blanket's father caused him to take an overdose of the same drugs Michael died from and that they were found in Michael’s body. Touching story, except Michael Jackson did not die from Soma tablets, none were found in his body or in his possession, and none has ever been associated with him. The most amusing aspect of this story is that he claims he was prescribed 5 of these tablets by a Michael Jackson doctor in 2002 and he’d stored them 8 years before finally using them. Soma aka Carisoprodol has a shelf life of 2 years, so I’d be curious as to what effects a drug that had expired 6 years before could do to a person, but maybe Matt could share that with us sometime.

HOUSES OF PARLIAMENT LIE: Matt said Michael FLEW into a rage when he was barred from buying the Speaker’s chair from the House of Commons to use as his “green throne”. To quote him: "He toured Parliament in 2002 and when the guide told him he could not buy this piece of British culture Michael exclaimed, ‘I am the King, the King of Pop’, before flying into a real rage.”

Funny that, the officials that gave Micheal the tour said he was lovely, funny and charming... making a joke how he'd like a chair like that. He didn't in anyway suggest actually buying the thing let alone fly into a rage, he was even invited to go for a chat with a mp afterwards. The main tour guide said Michael loved England and was genuinely in awe of the building and history. There is footage on one of the pay for press video footage sites documenting from moment Michael starts his guided tour to moment he leaves. I will see if I can recall which site and update with link. Proof this ranting at the guide event never took place. Only thing that is true is Matt Fiddles was there.

There is actually more but you get the picture... this is just some of the crazy stuff Matt Fiddles has said, all soon after Michael Jackson died of course, so he couldn't be sued. There’s no proof he even went to visit Michael at a perminant residance. There’s no proof he even went to Neverland.

Michael Jackson is nothing more than a lucrative business for Matt Fiddles, and he is now selling his “positive” stories to papers for cash and celebrity. Nothing more nothing less. Because being positive about Michael actually is selling better for him right now as not many people are brave enough to defend Michael.... a book will come next... as you can be sure he is trying to build up a base of MJ fans to sell it too! When/if his book comes out, you will know to take what he say's with a very large pinch of salt.

---

Note: Please don't ask or pm me requesting information on the security staff member I have been in communication with. Our conversations are to remain private. Do not press me to ask him questions he has said what he has had to say, what he wanted to share and won't share no more... I may for all I know never hear from him again, if I don't that is fine, I am touched and grateful for the tip bits of information he gave me and for the warning about Matt Fiddles. I will not give his contact details to anybody. Nor repeat anything he has told me without his utter consent. Other than what has already been ok'd.

#moonwalker #jackson #pop #michael jackson #mjinnocent

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batgirl-87 · 5 years

Note

5 through 10 for the shipping meme ;) [wilhelminafujita]

AH! Hi! I’ve missed you! 😄😳 And thank you for asking! 💕

MC Ship Asks

5. (Answered in previous post)

6. (Answered in previous post)

7. Did your MC or the character you ship them with date anyone else before them? What were those relationships like?

Rumour has it during the summer before Year 6 Keira dated someone in Canada but she has not confirmed nor denied this. The relationship may have also continued into the beginning of Year 6 but again she has not confirmed or denied anything. (But maybe he turned out to be an evil manipulative piece of shit who she doesn’t want to talk about and she’ll have to deal with him later. Maybe during the Battle of Hogwarts and even afterwards…Maybe she’ll just kill the bastard whatever =p Does she find out about him being a lying betraying arsehole around the time she threatens to use obliviate on Charlie? Perhaps) It doesn’t help that Keira can be naturally flirtatious and charming and charismatic so it can be easy to assume she’s flirting or interested in others more so than she actually is, are they dating? What’s going on there? =p

The fact that Charlie is interested in dating anyone is a shock! He has plenty of friends, good close friends, but never seemed to express an interest in dating any of them until Keira. Maybe because he was older? Maybe because other close friends started dating other people? Maybe there was just a better, close connection with her than others? Whatever it was exactly, there’s definitely a close bond and connection there, a good, strong, supportive friendship, and Bill likes to believe his advice and influence brought them together =p But no, no previous dating experience for Charlie.

8. Does their relationship have a rocky start? Or is it smooth?

Well…

When Keira first realizes her feelings for Charlie she was very taken aback and even scared and anxious. But then she managed to cope with it with her belief that it didn’t really matter how she felt about him because he would never feel the same way about her, no one is ever going to really love her for who she really is, and she has a mission to find her brother anyway. So she found it actually pretty easy to shove those feelings aside or at least not show them (unlike Charlie who doesn’t have a good poker face like her =p)

Then when he asked her to the Ball she still remained in denial (she’s amazing at it =p) and never imagined the possibility of him being interested in her more than friends until he suddenly leaned down to kiss her during the last slow song - but even after that still thought he just got caught up in the moment or something and he didn’t mean for it to mean anything, especially when there was no follow-up afterwards.

And then Charlie saw something he shouldn’t have and Keira refused to have anything to do with him for a few months which was torture for him and it could have gone on forever actually until he finally confronts her about it and makes her hash it out because she doesn’t even want to talk to him or have him involved in her life anymore - which she tells Bill who tells Charlie…. It’s a bit of a mess. And even after hashing it out she’s still a bit wary but he manages to prove he can be trusted.

Then Charlie eventually has a realization that he has to just be completely honest with his feelings with her and that goes well… Although he’s not really sure how to navigate this new situation but after a pep talk (or challenge? =p) from Andre their relationship is sort of announced and revealed to everyone. And things are good until Keira learns her team clinched a spot in the World Cup Finals which she surprisingly expresses her joy by basically hugging and kissing everyone she comes into contact with her (hide your girlfriends and boyfriends fellow Hogwarts students =p) and Charlie is like WTF =p She almost killed poor Oliver Wood!

But honestly once feelings are expressed and out in the open they’re good and things are relatively smooth. Before that, there’s some rocky points, primarily where Keira says she feels it’s just best to not have Charlie in her life (which poor Bill has to relay that message to his brother via a letter, not the best way to break that news) and acts like he doesn’t even exist after almost oblivating his memory but they get through it. Keira has enough stress and trauma with the Vaults and her brother and R and the Cabal and other things in her life, she doesn’t need more drama and issues from a relationship. And things can get tough when they graduate and go off to different places but they make it work.

9. What is their primary love language?

I love this question!

As stated in a previous answer, Charlie, and I feel all of the Weasley’s, are very Physically Affectionate. So expressing their love through Physical Affection is just a normal and natural thing for the members of the Weasley family, and therefore would be Charlie’s primary love language.

I think Keira’s primary love language is Acts of Service (and not just because it’s also my own =p) She’s clearly not a very physically affectionate person and struggles with showing vulnerability to words of affirmation may also be difficult for her. While she likes giving the perfect gift to her friends on birthdays and holidays, Charle in particular is the worst as receiving gifts =p And I don’t think it’s something she regularly does to show her care and love towards others. When she really cares about someone she’ll do anything for them to make them happy and reduce any stress and negativity in their lives. And when someone does that for her it means so much to her.

Not saying that Charlie doesn’t do what he can to be there for her and do whatever he can to reduce her stress and make her happy but he does sometimes need to be asked or told what to do to help or informed that she needs it when Keira seems to have a better ability to see or sense someone is stressed about something and act without having to be told or asked. So while Charlie may be upset or stressed about something, Keira would do something to help him feel better or relieve his stress, even if it’s just like cleaning up and organizing his things or making/getting him food. While if Keira was upset or stressed over something Charlie’s initial response would be to hug her and hold her close or rub her back - something physical.

I think Quality Time becomes more important to them as well when they graduate Hogwarts and he goes off to Romania and she goes to Egypt. Since they clearly don’t get to see each other much or spend a lot of time together that rare Quality Time they get is very important and meaningful to them and they make sure to see each other as often as possible or at least stay in contact with one another very regularly.

I do think, even though she struggles with Words of Affirmation, there are moments where Keira can express her feelings very well and in a meaningful way, although those moments may be few and far between, but I also think she requires more Words of Affirmation than Charlie. Charlie seems to pick up on Keira’s more subtle signs of love and affection, and if she cuddles up with him on the couch he knows she cares, she’s comfortable with him, and he’s happy, so he doesn’t need to be told so much verbally, outright from her how she feels (once it’s already said and out in the open). But Keira does need that verbal reminder and clarification more often than him (maybe because he’s a Weasley and is hugging everyone and helping everyone - such a good person and friend to almost everyone, is she something special or just like everyone else?) so he’s working on his Words of Affirmation.

10. (Answered in previous post)

#Anonymous #thank you for the ask!#charlie weasley #charlie x mc #hphm mc #my mc #Adelyn Keira Black #hphm #hogwarts mystery

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mightypocketcow · 5 years

Text

Pooh Characters as Queer Environmentalists

No seriously. I had a very vivid dream involving all the Winnie The Pooh characters as a group of enthusiastic (and queer) environmentalists who meet once a week to talk about environment things because they’re nerds.

Starring Christopher Robin, Pooh, Tigger, Rabbit, Kanga, Roo, Gopher, Eeyore, and Piglet.

· Christopher Robin

o 33 years old

o Head/leader/founder of the Environmentalist Group

o Really interested in saving the whales

o Chill dude, but kind of an airhead

o Everyone thinks he’s some kinda office worker

o One day someone accidentally found out that he’s the CEO of some green-planet organization and runs this group for fun to see what kinds of ideas he can get and to see what people think of environmentalist efforts

o He always credits people for their ideas, but people assumed that he just worked for the company, not that he ran the damned thing

o A pansexual icon

o Has been to every single pride event that their city has ever had

o Rumour has it he started the pride events

o Wilder rumour has it he threw the first stone at the Stonewall Riots

o Even wilder rumour has it that he’s an immortal vampire who survives on the blood of homophobes

o He won’t deny any of these rumours but has yet to confirm it

o Has a genderqueer partner that literally nobody has met

o Seriously, not even Pooh

· Pooh

o 29 years old

o Really wants to save the bees

o Like, REALLY wants to save the bees

o Vegetarian, but because he doesn’t like meat

o Massive sweet tooth; dentists hate him!

o Ace/Aro

o Loves children, wants to adopt his own someday

o Babysits Roo all the time

o Kanga and him are best friends

o He brings little sweets for Roo every meeting

o Perhaps a little bit of a pothead but he’s not addicted

o He just smokes a joint once in a while to chill out

o A stereotypical “make love not war” hippie

o Nice to everyone all the time

o Cries when someone is mean to him

o Gets uncomfortable when people hit on him

o Christopher’s little brother

o A visual artist; uses lots of colours and sells his art at galleries and markets

· Tigger

o 27 years old

o ADHD

o Like SUPER ADHD

o Gay

o Hit on Pooh once but when Pooh got uncomfy he backed off

o Thought maybe Pooh was uncomfortable with gays and was confused and sad

o When he found out Pooh was Ace/Aro he totally understood

o They’re good friends now

o Really wants to save rainforests and trees

o A freelance writer; his books are elementary school Magic Treehouse shit

o Very much into fantasy shit, his non-children’s series’ lore is always the deepest mindfuck ever, how the hell did he even come up with that

o Bestselling author tho

o Kinda famous tbh but he doesn’t like media attention

o He just thinks everybody should have fun all the time

o Does he vape? Probably. Has anyone ever actually seen him do it? No.

o Does he sleep? Probably. Has anyone ever actually seen him do it? Once.

o Kanga caught him powernapping when she came into one of the first meetings really early, but all she did was put a blanket on him and leave to go to the convenience store or something to stay out for a bit longer so he could rest

o He didn’t know who it was until a bit later he figures it was her since she’s always knitting and it was a very pretty knitted thing

o That’s his momma figure now

· Rabbit

o 25 years old

o Vegan and very in-your-face about it

o “Bugs are important to the ecosystem but boy do I hate them in my garden”

o Scifi enthusiast

o Post-apocalyptic things slightly terrify him because he believes that’s how the world is gonna go

o A bit of a conspiracy theorist

o Genuinely believes the government is vaguely spying on everybody

o Did Bush do 9/11? Who knows… but the moon landing was real, and the earth is round, don’t be dumb

o Just identifies as queer, doesn’t like labels

o A very organized person but when he’s very upset perfectionism scares him bc he thinks he’s not ever gonna be good enough and will mess things up on purpose

o Has a long-distance boyfriend

o A farmer

· Kanga

o 38 years old

o Divorced trans woman

o Has a 5 year old son that she fostered as a baby and adopted when he was 4

o Recycles aggressively

o Calls everyone “dear”

o Uses reusable bags and plastic containers all the time

o Knits a lot, everybody always gets scarves or mitts or hats for Christmas

o Usually in the design of ‘planet earth’, but also makes pride flag designs and takes requests for fave colour schemes

o Vegetarian but not aggressive ab it like Rabbit is

o You know what she is a bit aggressive about? Recycling

o If you throw something that’s recyclable in the garbage in front of her...

o Lord help you

o Last man who did that was never seen again

o Okay that’s a lie, he was seen two weeks later

o But he was advocating for a save the whales organization on the side of the road and wearing all thrift store clothing

o She traumatized him into throwing himself into the environmentalist pit headfirst

o Thinks Gopher is just a big softie; is the only one who is super nice to him all the time (besides her son, and Pooh who is nice to literally everyone)

o Kinda has a thing for the grumpy man but won’t admit it

o She’s like an accountant or something, nobody knows what she does for a living but she seems to be well-off

· Roo

o The adopted 5 year old son

o A little bit spoiled, but not just by Kanga, by everyone in the group

o Loves sitting in on the meetings

o His first sentence at 15 months was “recycle that!”

o Loves blue because of recycle bins

o Literally wears nothing but blue

o Will accept things that are less than 100% blue as long as its more than 50% blue

o Also likes things with pink on them

o Thinks Tigger is the coolest person ever

o Doesn’t understand all of Tigger’s books but reads them anyway

o Except the non-children’s ones of course

o Reads everything he can get his hands on

o Don’t let him get his hands on anything inappropriate for a 5 year old

o Asks a lot of questions

o Everyone adores him

o His mama is his favourite person on the planet but also Mr Tigger is so cool

o He likes Mr Gopher too, he thinks Mr Gopher is great because of “how happy Mama is when he’s around”

· Eeyore

o 23 years old

o Has depression

o Trans boy

o Just really wants friends

o Wants to help the planet

o Is a massive pessimist that thinks the world is doomed

o Very smart boy

o Talks about CO2 emissions and carbon taxes

o A university student studying some kinda chemical engineering

o Very quiet

o Bit of a crush on piglet tbh

o Has a big love for superheroes without powers because he loves the idea of things being solvable through hard work mixed with passion and technology

o Except he doesn’t believe it because his depression makes him super pessimistic

o Also a big tech nerd

· Gopher

o 45 years old

o Landlord of their meeting place

o Grumpy ass old man

o Sometimes people are grumpy right back to him and he’s ok with that

o Actually a soft spot for these weird hippies and joins them sometimes but says its because he wants to make sure they’re not damaging the place (they know that’s a big fat lie but won’t say anything)

o Will fight anyone who mocks them

o Has actually fought someone who mocked them

o Has not told them about said fight

o Especially adores Roo

o Thinks Kanga is a bit of an odd woman but also thinks she’s very pretty

o Repressed bisexual

o He thinks nobody knows he’s bi but eventually when he kinda mentions it he realizes everyone knows

o Specifically, Piglet and Kanga are super supportive

o He definitely actually has a crush on Kanga, who knitted him a bisexual flag scarf once

o He wears it all the time but will vehemently deny that it’s the same scarf when called on it

o Big brawny weirdo

o Was a football player in college and can definitely bench-press everyone

o Works construction now, which is why he’s still in good shape

o Actually a brilliant man, can architect and calculate like nobody’s business

o Will help Piglet with his mathematics homework in exchange for Piglet teaching him more things about the LGBT+ community

o After a while he realizes that perhaps genderfluid fits him well but Piglet is sworn to secrecy

o Has a daughter who is institutionalized for her mental health issues that grew beyond his care

o Piglet reminds him of his daughter and he’s very protective

o That’s why he legit fought that asshole who mocked the “little F****t hippies”

o He was almost arrested for assault on that one actually

o The cop was a buddy of his and 100% believed the “defense of those who can’t defend themselves” explanation that Gopher had

o Got off with a warning and fined for “disturbing the peace” or some mundane BS

· Piglet

o 21 years old

o Gay and demiboy

o Anxiety disorders through the roof

o OCD

o Recycling is a compulsion

o Reducing energy consumption too

o He checks his lights all the time

o He walks or bikes everywhere

o He says it’s to reduce CO2 emissions

o He’s just scared of vehicles

o Has some kinda PTSD but nobody knows the source

o He got into a massive car accident when he was little

o Because his father was angry and speeding

o His mother died in the accident

o But nobody knows this! Someday he will tell them tho

o Today is not that day

o Tomorrow is not that day either

o But someday

o Crush on Eeyore

o Also a university student

o Studying mathematics because it makes sense to him

o Gopher reminds him of his grumpy old gay uncle who died when he was in high school

o Feels like he can actually not double-check or cross-reference anything that Gopher teaches him because he trusts him a lot

o Still will sometimes check everything if he’s having a bad day

o Gopher doesn’t mind, he understands that Piglet has a lot of anxiety issues

o Has an exception in his uni file to be able to take twice as long on his exams and tests and get an extra few days for assignments because he checks every single answer 3 times

o His OCD number is 3, everything is 3, he turns his lights on and off 3 times, etc

14 notes · View notes

louehvolution · 6 years

Note

One of my friends was talking about how she read an article where Simon said all judges were coming back next year. We all think it’s bullshit and we hope it stays that way. I don’t know what I’ll do if it turns out to be true.

Hi, anon,

One article isn’t a confirmation, but the message that Simon wants the same judges back is definitely there. And while ‘his first year as a judge’ or ‘on his first year of XF’ might mean nothing, I don’t like the wording at all—has the same been used for Robbie or Ayda?

I find it concerning that they set up that award with Metro with an ‘exclusive’ stunt interview—as the biggest press he had in months. And the continued emphasis in the press of him as a TV judge, who maybe, at most, does music on the side. Now them pushing for this NTA… Why is LTHQ—meant for his music—promoting this? Why, after a year, not return promoting his music? There are projects to get his streams to 1B, to get JLY to 50M. Why not do something related to him as an artist!?

And going to that award show would not be exposure for him as an artist. All it does is continue to box him in as part of the XF and Simon Cowell entourage. [And how do people just shrug away Louis having to spend time with and seem friendly with Simon?] And what audience would it reach? The same XF audience who knows him as a TV judge and nothing else—and who have nothing to make them think any differently right now.

In the almost two months since XF ended Louis’ social media activity went back to nothing—his IG has been inactive since November 23rd, that’s two months on Wednesday—and then to the same pattern of interaction as there’s been for two years. And now LTHQ—with its 122K followers vs. @Louis_Tomlinson’s 33M on Twitter, returns, with a vague tweet; posting original content instead of Louis’ accounts; and then going on to promote XF—remember how the most work they ever did was to promote Louis’ MY performance on XF?

And it seems significant LTHQ didn’t remain active this year. Why not keep that touchstone to Louis’ music career? Except it’s obvious they didn’t want to distract fans from focusing exclusively on XF. All the social media activity engagement had to go to XF. In benefit of XF. Not in Louis’ benefit. And why provide the XF audience who might look him up with any clue that he has an active solo music career? [For the record, his website is still a splash page which hasn’t been updated in over a year.]

XF erased Louis as an artist throughout. I don’t understand how anyone can say it was good for him—without even getting into the toxic, abusive environment, and psychological toll of having to go back to participate and endorse Simon’s show, at the cost of his dreams and long term goal—when they presented him as someone who would be “twiddling his thumbs” if it weren’t for XF, as someone whose value is based on his past in 1D and his connection to XF, nothing more, and who is best suited to be a supportive background character, not the star. They never played any of his songs. Never made any mention at all of him being a solo artist. And they could have—look at Robbie Williams.

It’s not preposterous to be worried this is setting up him doing another season. How do people mock concerns after what happened? We all hoped that the rumours of Louis doing XF last year were bullshit and then they weren’t.

It’s January 21. What kind of build up has been done for Louis’ return to the music scene after a year of inactivity? This isn’t just a single, it’s a relaunch, really—or it should be. And it’s not a surprise release either. Same with his album. So why isn’t there anything out there?

It make me sick thinking of Louis having to go back to XF. Haven’t they taken enough time from him? Hasn’t he gone through enough? And it’s almost February, how could he release an album and tour before it started up again?

I don’t know what to tell you, anon. I desperately hope it won’t come to that, and Louis will finally get good things for himself this year. But if it does, I hope you will continue supporting him and his music as much as possible. We are very limited in what we can do, but if his fans don’t try everything they can to support Louis, to counter him being erased as an artist and his music career being buried, what’s left?

Louis has worked so hard, fought so hard, suffered so much for this… He deserves a chance. He deserves to be able to exist, as an artist and as his own person. :(

#anon #and. for the record. they tweeted the wrong time for people to tune in for the performance. so a lot of people missed it

11 notes · View notes

cuthian · 4 years

Text

Starting Over Chapter One

Welcome to the second-to-last installment of this series (probably, honestly, I didn't mean for there to be as many parts as there are already)!

This fic is focused on both Thor and Steve's journeys, and sets the scene for the main fic, the one that follows this one, the one you've all been waiting for :) There are two chapters fully focused on Thor's journey, so should you wish to skip those, check the notes at the top of the chapter! I'll definitely mention them :)

I expect I'll update this once a week (it's fully written) and hopefully will be able to upload the final installment after I've posted the final chapter of this one!

As always, much love and gratitude to my lovely Juulna, who dragged me through all of this, and kicks my ass into gear when it's needed.

Let us know what you think!

Love, Annaelle

Starting Over

Sometimes, the hardest part isn’t letting go, but rather starting over.

—Nicole Sovaugn

Chapter One

RUMORED CELEBRITY COUPLES WE ALL *HOPE* ARE REAL

The celebrity rumor mill is always churning. While it is mostly tittle-tattle, there are certain romance “news” items that, in our heart of hearts, we’re dying to be true. From co-stars with unbelievable chemistry to sure-to-be-legendary duos, here are the pairs we have our fingers crossed for.

10. Nikki Reed & Ian Somerhalder

[...]share a common interest in playing vampires—with Reed’s Rosalie in Twilight to Somerhalder’s Damon in The Vampire Diaries—but also have several common friends. Both are close with Nina Dobrev—Somerhalder’s ex-girlfriend—and Ashley Greene[…]supposed reports of their developing relationship since July, and they have adopted a horse together.

[…]as of yet no official confirmations have been made.

[…]

7. Natasha Romanoff & Steve Rogers

[…] Rogers and Romanoff have been spotted out together on several occasions, ranging from coffee runs—such mundane activity for such extraordinary people—to trips to Coney Island and Avengers Tower[…]The outings have set many tongues wagging, implying a scandalous relationship between the Captain and his Avengers co-worker, despite official, repeated statements that Captain Rogers is still grieving his former life and is not interested in forming romantic attachments.

[…]Captain was also linked to former Army Captain Rebecca Barnes, before she confirmed her own relationship—see No 2 on this list![…]whatever is going on between Captain America and the women in his life, one thing is certain: we would all like to be rescued by this star-spangled man with a plan!

[…]

5. Zac Efron & Leah Michelle

[…]big surprise for everyone! These two have known one another for several years, but have recently been photographed packing on the PDA on a yacht in Italy in July[…]possibly nothing more than a summer fling, but a reliable source told E!online that Efron likes that she is laid-back and he can relate to her. He is, apparently, attracted to her great attitude, and they understand one another.

[…]

2. Rebecca Barnes & Thor of Asgard

This surprise couple accidentally got caught on camera in a picture posted to Tony Stark’s Twitter account on the 4th of July last year[…]emphasis on “accidental”, considering the couple was only barely visible in a corner of the picture that featured almost all of the Avengers.

[…]lo and behold, it clearly showed Rebecca Barnes, seated on a barstool next to who appears to be Captain Rogers, wrapped in an intimate embrace with none other than the Prince of Asgard, looking real cozy together. Gotcha!

[…]picture remained on Tony Stark’s Twitter account without further comment from any of the Avengers for 72 hours before a press conference was held to confirm the relationship between the two, though insistences were made on their relationship remaining casual for now. “They’re having fun, they like each other, but neither of them wants to be in a serious relationship right now.”

Casual seems to be working for the couple though, because all appearances point to them still being together two years after their first press conference!

[…]only confirmed couple on this list!

—M.S. Sura, E! Magazine, « Rumoured Celebrity Couples », July 2013

————————

Washington D.C., United States of America

August 9th, 2015 – 5:19 AM

Steve

Steve liked going for a run in the morning.

When he and Becca had first moved to D.C., he had felt at a loss—he’d never really lived anywhere but in New York, and D.C. had felt like an unknown entity, nothing like the city he’d been born and raised in. It was… It was quieter, in a way, less crowded and less intense than New York had been, and Steve had both hated and loved it with equal measure during their first few weeks there.

Running in the morning had been something Karen the therapist had suggested when he’d originally confessed to feeling antsy and cooped up when there were no missions to be done, and no bad guys to fight.

It’d become a way to blow off steam, to get rid of the horrid feeling of inactivity, and to get to know the city he’d be living in for the foreseeable future. Becca hadn’t really understood—nor had Steve expected her to, considering it would’ve involved leaving her bed before she absolutely had to—and though Thor, bless him, had done his very best to give it a try, he really didn’t understand the appeal of running without chasing something.

Steve, however, loved it.

Running was one of the very few activities where he could let go of all restraint and just go, without having to worry that he was going to hurt someone, or break something irreparably. Running allowed him to test the very limit of the serum without truly having to worry, and it was a feeling so incredibly freeing it made him feel dizzy the first time he’d realized.

He’d learned to appreciate D.C. for its own merits, over time. He loved New York and he would always consider Brooklyn home in a way nowhere else could be, but here… Here he could walk down the street without getting pulled aside for selfies and autographs constantly. He could run for hours without paparazzi not-so-subtly trying to sneak pictures of him.

He could visit Peggy, who had—very reluctantly—taken up residence in a care home close to his and Becca’s house, after a nasty fall that broke the femur bone in her left leg in two places.

New York was not so very far away either, and when they wanted to visit Tony and the others, the flight there usually didn’t take them very long. Steve felt more settled here, and much less anchored in the past, than he had in New York, although it had taken him a long time to admit it.

Of course, it wasn’t like Steve loved everything about their life in D.C. He’d initially loved the job, and the way it gave him a sense of purpose in his life, but the intensity of some of the Agents put him off, and he decidedly disliked the way everyone had had set expectations of who and what he was supposed to be—both as a leader in the field and as a person.

He loathed the way Fury treated him sometimes, for that matter, like he was some dumb kid who didn’t know what the hell he was talking about. He hated when Fury sent him on missions with people who had their own missions, when he was expected to lead people who had their own agendas and their own timetables.

He especially disliked the agents that Fury had set to tail him at all times—he wasn’t supposed to know they were there, but it seemed they’d all conveniently forgotten he was good friends with the Black Widow and Hawkeye, and that he lived with Becca Barnes, who had the uncanny ability to spot agents, no matter how well they disguised themselves.

He hated them, but, over the course of the past four years of living in the 21st century, two of which he’d spent working with S.H.I.E.L.D., he’d learned to pick his battles. There were bigger things going on in his life than trying to figure out which hapless idiot they’d sent to try to tail him on his run today.

There was, for instance, a new guy—not an agent, Steve thought—running on his preferred route.

Steve didn’t tend to run the same route every day, because he’d get bored and probably run into a tree or something, and he didn’t quite fancy the idea of having to explain to Fury—or worse, Tony—why there were gossip rags with the headline “Captain America Can’t Handle Morning Wood” or something equally ridiculous.

Also, by changing up his route regularly, he was able to figure out how long it took S.H.I.E.L.D. to figure out where he was. The longest it had ever taken them was fifteen minutes, and Steve was pretty sure they’d only figured him out because he’d stopped to take a phone call from Becca.

This route, though, starting at the World War II memorial, crossing Inlet Bridge and going past the Lincoln and Jefferson Memorials, was one of Steve’s favorites to run. It took him past his favorite sites in the city, and ended whenever he ran past the cute little bakery a few blocks from the Holocaust Memorial Museum with the best croissants he’d had on this side of the Atlantic. There weren’t usually a lot of people around at this time of morning, because Steve could admit that he was slightly overzealous when it came to running in the morning—as in leaving before the sun was up, and not coming back until at least two hours later—and it was easy to notice when there was a new fellow maniac who liked to exercise before dawn.

Steve let his eyes trail over said new maniac’s back appreciatively.

He definitely looked good.

He felt a pang of guilt—much less debilitating than the stifling sense of dread and guilt and horror it had once been—and shook his head, pushing himself to run a little faster, to pass this new, cute, unknown entity and leave him behind, because for all that Steve was doing pretty well, he didn’t think he was ready to acknowledge when he actively thought someone was cute.

It was different than when he went on dates because Natasha set him up. Those were nearly always women, and much as Steve appreciated Nat’s effort, they were never into him for him.

That, in itself, was enough of a turn off.

The fact that they were absolutely never his type was just an easy excuse to give Nat when there were, inevitably, no second dates. This, though, he thought as he caught up to Cute Fellow Maniac… this felt different.

“On your left,” he bit out as he ran past New Cute Fellow Maniac, barely allowing himself a glance to look at the other guy, refusing to see, because that would mean he actively liked someone who wasn’t Bucky, and he wasn’t sure he could do that.

He’d talked about that with Karen-the-therapist at length too.

After he’d seen Thor make an effort to let go of his promise to only ever love Loki, to give his relationship with Becca an honest chance, he’d wondered, because he’d been convinced that Thor was the only person Steve had ever met that understood.

He’d understood why Steve just… couldn’t.

Why the very thought of being in love with someone other than Bucky made him feel sick to his stomach, like he’d be betraying everything he had shared with Bucky, like he’d be making a mockery of Bucky’s memory if he did allow himself to move on. Going on dates with women had been much easier than this, because… well, they were women.

For all that Steve was hopeless when it came to flirting with them—or even just talking to them—they didn’t run much of a risk of reminding him of Bucky. It wasn’t so very hard to not give them a chance.

He knew it was poor manners, to give a lady hope where there was none, but… it got his friends off his back, and it was easy to let it all wash over him.

Men, though…

He knew Bucky would hate that Steve felt that way, and that he might even be insulted to learn Steve hadn’t tried to fuck his way through the 21st century in his name yet, because Bucky had been nothing if not a realist (and also a horny bastard), and whereas Steve had been—still was—optimistic enough to believe he could spend his entire life loving just the one person, Bucky had… Bucky had said things that made Steve think—now, in hindsight—that he’d never really believed he’d make it out of the war.

Maybe he’d always known Steve would, eventually, have to move on.

Steve sighed and slowed down, eyeing the split in the path that came up ahead of him contemplatively. The left branch would loop him back to roughly where he’d seen Cute New Maniac, and might give him a second chance.

The other…

“Come on, Rogers,” he told himself firmly. “Make an effort.”

He took the left path.

————————

Washington D.C., United States of America

6.03 AM

Steve

Alright, so maybe he hadn’t stopped to talk to Cute New Maniac right away.

He watched, slightly amused, as the other man limped his way to a patch of grass and collapsed back against a tree, wheezing a little. Steve felt a little bad—just a little—but then, he hadn’t made the other man try to race him.

Honestly, after the third time Steve had lapped him, Cute New Maniac should really have realized that he wouldn’t actually be able to keep up with Steve even if he did try.

Which he did.

It hadn’t really gone his way.

“You need a medic?” he blurted before he could think about it, moving towards where the other man sat with a grin that was probably just the right side of smug. Steve felt a little gratified when the other man laughed, shaking his head a little before he replied.

“I need a new set of lungs.” He laughed and pushed himself up a little, glancing towards Steve with a smirk. “You just ran like thirteen miles in thirty minutes.”

Steve grinned a little.

It wasn’t like he could come right out and say he looped around four times with the express purpose of seeing Cute New Maniac again, so he shrugged, putting his hands on his hips in a way he knew accentuated the contrast between his broad shoulders and narrow hips. “Guess I got a late start,” he quipped cheekily.

“Really?” Cute Maniac laughed. “You should be ashamed of yourself. You should—you should take another lap.” Steve couldn’t stop grinning, cheeks burning and heart pumping fast with exhilaration, even as the cute guy looked away for a second, before he looked back and rolled his eyes.

“Did you just take it? I assume you just took it.”

Steve outright laughed at that, shaking his head a little before he gestured to the dog tags that had slipped from underneath the guy’s sweater. “What unit were you in?”

He saw the minute stiffening of Cute Maniac’s posture before he relaxed again, and felt momentarily bad for asking, but before he could take it back, Cute Maniac replied, “58th Pararescue. But now I’m working down at the V.A.” Before Steve could do more than nod, Cute Maniac held out his hand, wiggling his fingers insistently until Steve grasped it in his and pulled him to his feet.

“Sam Wilson,” Cute Maniac—Sam, a voice in Steve’s head that sounded suspiciously like Bucky insisted—offered, smiling when Steve floundered a little.

“Steve Rogers,” Steve finally said, grinning shyly. This was usually the point where people either freaked out and started treating him like… well, like Captain America. Steve hadn’t hoped someone wouldn’t this badly in quite a while.

“I kinda put that together,” Sam grinned, fingers lingering on Steve’s for a second longer than strictly appropriate, and Steve’s stomach swooped. “Must’ve freaked you out,” Sam continued, and Steve’s stomach sank, because he knew what those next words were going to be before Sam even said them out loud. “Coming home after the whole defrosting thing. “

Steve heaved a sigh and shrugged. “Took some getting used to.”

He swallowed thickly against the disappointment that curdled in his stomach and shot Sam a small, insincere smile. “It’s good to meet you, Sam.” He turned away before Sam could say anything that would make Steve’s stomach ache harder than it already did, becauseof course, the one time he decided to take a chance, the guy turned out like everyone else.

“It’s your bed, right?”

Steve stopped, turning around with no small sense of bewilderment as he looked at Sam. “What’s that?” he said cautiously, eyeing the other man nervously. He wasn’t sure if Sam was being dense, or if he was blatantly trying to come onto Steve, but it made him feel off-balance, and Steve hated feeling off-balance.

“Your bed,” Sam repeated, raising both eyebrows. “It’s too soft. When I was over there, I’d sleep on the ground, use rocks as pillows.” Steve turned towards Sam fully, now intrigued and a little relieved, hoping he might’ve misjudged. “Now I’m home,” Sam continued, “lying in my bed, and it’s like…”

He shook his head, apparently at a loss for words.

“Like lying on a marshmallow,” Steve finally finished for him. “Feels like I’m gonna sink right through to the floor.”

Sam smiled a little and nodded.

It was a cute smile too, damn him.

“How long?” he asked, eyeing Sam carefully. He figured he could get away with asking something similar to Sam’s earlier question, and it wasn’t that he doubted that the other man had served, but…

It just felt different knowing.

“Two tours,” Sam answered curtly, although he didn’t appear all that put out by the question.

Steve swallowed and nodded tightly. Though Sam hadn’t specified, from what Steve understood, two tours could mean anywhere from a year to eight years total, and Steve couldn’t imagine being out there for that long, even with a break in the middle, without losing his mind. It’d baffled him during the war too, seeing European soldiers of various countries that had been fighting for literal years without stopping, refusing to give up.

He’d both admired them and felt incredibly sorry for them.

“You must miss the way things were,” Sam finally said, cautiously, as though Steve would explode if the past was mentioned. If this had been three years ago, Steve might’ve. He would’ve put on a brave face, but the reminder of the life that had been torn from him would’ve sent him spiraling and heading for the hills to lick his wounds in private, and he was mature enough—now—to know that.

As it stood, Steve had been in intense therapy since his breakdown four years ago, and he’d learned to deal with his grief in far more healthy ways.

“It’s not so bad here,” Steve shrugged. “Food’s so much better. I need to eat a ton, because—” he gestured towards his body sheepishly and blushed when Sam smirked. “Back then, getting enough calories was horrible. We boiled everything, and the stuff that did have what I needed was barely edible at all.” He grinned and added, “Internet’s great too. Super helpful. Becca showed me how to use it back when I first woke up. Definitely read that a lot, trying to catch up.”

Sam nodded, raising an eyebrow. “Becca’s the roommate, right? Your guy’s grandniece or something, right? Freaked out every gossip rag from here to L.A. when you two moved here, to D.C., together. Big scandal.”

Steve sighed and shook his head. “I remember. Ridiculous. Becca’s one of my best friends. Currently dating one of my other best friends.” He wrinkled his nose and shook his head, because much as he loved Thor and Becca, he really didn’t like to think too much about it. He’d walked in on them one time too many to still be casual about it.

“Yeah,” Sam smirked. “I remember seeing that revelation around too.”

Steve winced a little.

Everyone remembered that particular Fourth of July. Tony still felt bad about it.

“So,” Sam said, smiling lightly, “You doing anything fun today?”

Steve saw it for the change of subject that it was and grasped at it eagerly—maybe a little too eagerly. “Hopefully you,” he blurted, blanching when his brain caught up with his mouth, wincing at Sam’s slightly stunned expression. “I mean—that’s not—I wasn’t trying to—”

He gave up on his spluttered explanation when Sam burst into laughter, hiding his face—cheeks burning with an increasingly embarrassed blush—in his hands. He didn’t look up until Sam reached out and put his hand on Steve’s arm, gently pushing it down so Steve would be forced to look at him.

“Don’t worry about it,” Sam grinned, winking when Steve dared to look directly at him again. “I mean, you should definitely buy me a drink first, but it’s good to know I wasn’t imagining that you were flirting.” He looked momentarily confused and then asked, “I wasn’t, right?”

“No,” Steve admitted breathlessly, feeling more than a little overwhelmed by the idea that he’d actually managed to ask someone out—sort of—and that said someone had actually returned his interest.

What the fuck.

Stuff like this didn’t happen to Steve—he was the hopeless single friend.

Willingly.

Sam smiled—a real, bright smile that made Steve’s stomach do another funky flop—and bit his lower lip. “Well then. You gonna ask for my number, Rogers?”

“Right!” Steve blurted, fumbling to get his phone from his pocket without accidentally tossing it across the damned park. Sam took it from him with an indulgent smile, and Steve was pretty sure his face was stuck somewhere between bewilderment and soppy admiration, and he wasn’t sure…

Well, he wasn’t sure what to do now.

“There,” Sam handed his phone back and raised an eyebrow. “You better call me, Rogers. I ain’t one for getting stood up, even by a superhero.”

Steve nodded eagerly. “I will, definitely, I just—” His phone buzzed in his hand, and he frowned when he recognized Nat’s S.H.I.E.L.D.-issued number. Nat only used that number to call him when they were being called in for a mission.

“Duty calls,” he said ruefully, wiggling his phone at Sam. “I’m sorry. Thanks for the run though.” He grinned and winked, “If that’s what you wanna call running.”

“Oh, that’s how it is?” Sam exclaimed indignantly, although there was no real heat to his words.

“That’s how it is.”

“O-okay,” Sam chuckled. “You better call me when you get back.”

Steve nodded dumbly, not turning away until he heard the familiar engine roar of Nat’s favorite Corvette—because of course she’d tracked his phone instead of waiting for his reply, damn those spies—grinning sheepishly at Sam’s raised eyebrow. “Can’t run everywhere.”

“No, you can’t,” Sam agreed, smirking when Steve awkwardly tried to fit himself into the small seat—he swore that was at least half of the reason Nat always picked him up in this thing.

“Hey fellas,” Nat grinned, baring all her teeth with a predatory gleam in her eye as she looked at Sam.

“No,” Steve said firmly, before she could do or say anything that would make Sam realize Steve was a goddamned disaster and he should run while he still had the chance. He frowned at her, and when that didn’t have much of a visible effect, he pouted.

Her expression softened, and Steve barely managed to keep from grinning.

Worked like a charm. Every damned time.

“I’ll call you,” he told Sam, offering him a quick smile, before he turned back to Nat, putting thoughts of Sam and the conversation and the potential date in his future out of his mind, focusing entirely on the folder Nat had tossed onto his lap and resolutely ignoring her attempts to pick apart what little she’d seen of his interaction with Sam.

“What do we have?”

————————

EXCLUSIVE: CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVING IN WITH DEAD BEST FRIEND’S GRAND-NIECE?

Captain America, also known as Steve Rogers, and Rebecca Barnes—granddaughter to Rogers’ late best friend’s little sister—aremoving in together, but they are most definitely not in a relationship, despite an absurd tabloid report.

Gossip Cop can exclusively correct the story and report that it’s completely false.

According to OK!USA, our favorite supersoldier is moving out of the Avengers Tower to follow Barnes to Washington D.C., where they’re “on the hunt for a love pad”. An alleged insider tells the magazine that Thor and Barnes, who were recently accidentally ‘outed’ by Tony Stark, have split up because of the “deep, intense feelings” between the Captain and the youngest Barnes.

“They’re both so attracted to one another,” says a supposed source, who further contends that the other Avengers and the Barnes family “aren’t surprised Cap is following Becca to D.C. and that they’re looking for a home together.”

The outlet’s premise is flat-out ridiculous.

Just last Sunday, Thor joined Barnes and Rogers for dinner at Rebecca Barnes Sr.’s home.

The idea that Rebecca Jr. has dumped him for Captain Rogers is ludicrous. Additionally, the tabloid’s article is based on claims from an anonymous and untraceable “source,” but Gossip Cop reached out to Rogers’ spokesperson, who tells us on the record that it’s untrue. Despite what the magazine’s so-called “insider” claims, a rep qualified to speak on the Captain’s behalf assures us he and Barnes aren’t a couple, and the relocation is funded and requested by S.H.I.E.L.D., where both Captain Rogers and Agent Barnes are employed.

[…]gossip media is constantly trying to create new milestones in the relationship between Captain Rogers and the females in his life, despite their relationship being friendly and professional. […] Last week, we busted another bogus report alleging the Black Widow might be pregnant with Rogers’ baby.

Earlier this week, Gossip Cop also shot down a phony article claiming that the Avengers were split between Barnes and the Black Widow, picking sides in a vicious fight for Rogers’ affection.[…]

This latest article involving the supposed lovers house-hunting together is yet more fiction.

—A. Shuster, Gossip Cop, « Captain America moving to D.C. with Rebecca Barnes?», August 2012

————————

Indian Ocean

11:08 PM (UCT+6.30)

Steve

He listened intently as Rumlow briefed them, eyeing the specs intently. Natasha stood beside him, brow equally furrowed in concentration, while Becca fiddled with her gloves, alternating between looking at Rumlow and the screen. Normally, Steve would try to scold her into paying attention, but by the time he and Nat had gotten to H.Q., Becca had already been debriefed and had several plausible plans ready for Steve to review once he’d been briefed on the jet.

He’d learned to value her insights on cases like these, because there was a reason she had made it to the rank of Captain in the Army at twenty-two, and he knew how hard it was for her to stand still.

“Any demands?” he inquired when Rumlow finished identifying the target and outlining the situation.

There hadn’t been when they’d left D.C., but that had been mere minutes after contact with the Lemurian Star had been lost—two and a half hours ago.

“Billion and a half,” Rumlow nodded curtly, facing Steve directly, preparing for the questions he likely knew were coming. They’d worked together quite a few times over the past few years, and Rumlow had learned to anticipate what info Steve needed to effectively plan a successful mission in minutes.

“Why so steep?”

Demands were all good and well in hostage situations, but no agency deploying simple satellites would be able to afford quite that much money on such short notice.

Rumlow looked surprised, for a moment, before admitting, “Because it’s S.H.I.E.L.D.’s.”

Steve barely managed to refrain from rolling his eyes, quietly cursing Nick Fury in the back of his mind, and glanced towards Nat. “So it’s not off-course.” That’d been one of Becca’s theories; an attempt to explain what the ship would be doing this far out of international waters; why they’d been vulnerable to pirates in the first place.

“It’s trespassing,” Becca agreed, crossing her arms over her chest and frowning.

Rumlow looked like he wanted to say something—probably something derogatory that would make Steve want to punch him regardless of his professional competence—but Nat stepped in before he could. “I’m sure they have a good reason,” she offered, smiling winningly at Steve.

Steve did roll his eyes this time. “I’m getting real’ tired of being Fury’s janitor.”

He could’ve been having lunch, at home, right now. He could’ve asked Sam out for breakfast, could’ve tried to figure out if he could try dating without wanting to throw up at the mere thought of it.

Why did Fury always want him to clean up his own damned messes?

He turned back to Rumlow and gestured to go on. “How many pirates?”

“Twenty-five,” Rumlow replied immediately, pulling up several profiles of well-known international fugitives. “Top mercs, led by this guy.” He pulled up and enlarged a picture of a built man with a buzz cut and a dead-eyed expression Steve had seen in too many men in the service before.

“Georges Batroc,” Rumlow continued, “Ex-DGSE, Action Division. He’s at the top of Interpol’s Red Notice. Before the French demobilized him, he had thirty-six kill missions.” He looked Steve dead in the eye and frowned. “He’s got a rep for maximum casualties. It’s why they wanted to get rid of him in the first place.”

Steve nodded curtly. He wasn’t sure what a man like that would want with a S.H.I.E.L.D. vessel, but he was sure it couldn’t be anything good. “Hostages?” he demanded, crossing his arms over his chest.

Rumlow faltered, and Steve frowned, because that couldn’t be a surprise question—they’d been sent specifically to rescue said hostages. “Uh...” Rumlow stuttered. “Mostly techs. One officer.” He nodded towards Steve. “Jasper Sitwell. They’re in the galley.”

Steve knew of Sitwell.

He wasn’t terribly high up the chain of command, and certainly didn’t have security clearance as high as Steve and Natasha, but he wasn’t just another grunt worker either. From what Steve knew, he was one of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s top mission handlers.

He dealt with junior S.H.I.E.L.D. agents that went on lesser undercover missions—had dealt with Becca’s undercover mission too, until Nat had unceremoniously usurped him. Steve had no clue what he’d be doing on a satellite launch platform.

“What the hell is Sitwell doing on a launch ship?” he mused, more to himself than to either Nat or Becca, before he shook his head and pushed the issue from his mind. Honestly, it didn’t matter what Sitwell was doing on the ship, it just mattered that Steve needed to get him and the techs off of it.

Safely.

“Alright,” he said briskly, glancing to his core team briefly. “I’m gonna sweep the deck and find Batroc. Nat, you kill the engines and wait for instruction. Rumlow, you sweep the aft and find the hostages, direct S.T.R.I.K.E. as you need them. Just get them to the life-pods, and get them out.” He glanced towards Becca and grinned. “Barnes, help Rumlow get into the galley and then cover my six.”

Becca grinned back and cheekily saluted him. “Aye, aye, Captain.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Let’s go.”

He followed Becca and Nat to the hold, taking the communicator Nat held out with a grin. “Secure channel seven,” he said into the communicator when he’d attached it to his wrist.

“Seven secure,” Nat replied, sidling up beside him with a smirk that predicted little good things for him. Usually conversations that started with Nat smirking at him like that ended with dreadfully boring dates with lovely dark-haired women that bore suspicious resemblance to both Bucky and Peggy.

“So,” Nat drawled. “Who was that positively gorgeous specimen you were talking to when I picked you up?” She raised an eyebrow at him and smirked. “Were you flirting, Steve?”

Becca popped up from behind one of the S.T.R.I.K.E. agents, her expression bordering on gleeful, and Steve barely repressed the urge to groan. He’d hoped to keep Sam to himself a little longer, at least until he had decided how he felt about the whole thing.

He should’ve known he would never be able to keep it under wraps with these two in his life.

That not mean that he wasn’t going to try, though.

“I’m not talking about this now,” he said firmly, shooting a glare at Becca when she had the gall to pout at him. Thankfully, the pilot’s voice interrupted the two women before they could pester him more, warning him of the drop zone coming up.

He ran his hand through his hair one more time before he pulled the helmet on, moving towards the loading bay as he did.

“Oh, no, you don’t,” Becca piped on from behind him, snatching him by one of the straps on his suit and pulling him back with surprising ease—to everyone but Steve, who’d hoped she would let him get away with it this time. “Put on a fucking parachute, Rogers,” she bit out, shoving aforementioned parachute in his hands.

“Come on, Becs,” he wheedled. “I need to get in stealthily. The ‘chute ain’t covert. It’ll slow me down.”

Becca didn’t seem particularly impressed by his reasoning. “I’m not letting you jump out of a goddamn plane without a parachute, you moron.”

“You let Thor do it all the time,” Steve pointed out, smiling winningly, sneakily pushing the parachute into a hapless S.T.R.I.K.E. agent’s hands, stepping in front of the man to make sure Becca wouldn’t be able to see what he was doing.

Becca threw her hands up in exasperation and shoved at his shoulder, even as Steve moved back to the loading bay. “Thor can fly, Steve, he doesn’t need a parachute.”

Steve grinned at her over his shoulder, and winked at her. “Neither do I.”

He jumped.

————————

Lemurian Star, Indian Ocean

11:14 PM (UCT+6.30)

Steve

“Hostages en route to extraction,” Rumlow’s voice alerted Steve. “Barnes is on her way to you. Romanoff missed the rendezvous point, Cap. Hostiles are still in play.”

He didn’t have eyes on Batroc anymore, and the entire ship had fallen suspiciously silent following his attempt to smash Batroc’s skull in with his shield. Of course, they did have standing orders to subdue the man, not kill him, but Steve had seen an opportunity and he’d taken it.

He’d rather be scolded for taking out a terrorist than risk the man getting out again.

Steve cursed under his breath before he replied, voice hushed, “Affirmative. Natasha, Batroc’s on the move. Circle back to Rumlow and protect the hostages.” There was no reply, and worry coiled in the pit of his stomach. He stopped, distracted, and lifted his arm to speak directly into the comm unit.

“Natasha?”

He didn’t see the attack coming.

He didn’t have time to do anything other than parry the volley of blows that came at him, faster and harder than anyone he’d fought in recent history. He was bowled over by the sheer viciousness of the attack, and before he knew it, his attacker had knocked him on his back, giving him no time to recover.

All Steve could see when he straightened up was the boot flying right at him, and he barely managed to move just enough so said boot landed on the floor instead of on parts of Steve’s anatomy he’d really rather keep intact—especially with the possibility of a date in the near future still in the back of his mind.

Batroc—because of course it was Batroc, Steve hadn’t expected anyone else—froze for a heartbeat, as did Steve. The stillness of the moment was over as soon as it had begun, and Steve didn’t spare much thought to technique when Batroc attacked again in a violent flurry of movement, punching and kicking so fast Steve couldn’t do anything but block, at first.

It only took a few moments before he spotted a pattern in Batroc’s attacks though, and then, instead of concerning, the fight became fun.

Batroc was a good fighter, and while he was certainly no match for Steve, he was far more of a challenge than anyone but Thor had been able to provide since he’d gotten the serum. Even Schmidt, for all his bluster of being the perfect man, had had shockingly little fighting technique and had mostly relied on brute strength alone.

Batroc, on the other hand… Batroc fought like it was an art, and Steve loved it.

Steve did not, however, have time to relish in the fight. Batroc was getting cocky, likely spurred on by Steve’s insistence of blocking and not punching—because he did have orders to bring the man in alive, and if Steve would punch him with full strength, he’d probably punch right through his skull.

It was too easy, really, to shove the man back with the shield, tossing him several feet.

It didn’t slow Batroc down though, and Steve was grudgingly impressed. The man had to be highly trained to be able to shake off a hit like that, and even when he attacked again, and Steve punched back, with his fists and the shield, Batroc got back up.

Steve was a little impressed.

“Je croyais tu étais plus qu’un bouclier,” Batroc sneered when he’d gotten back on his feet, and that… the implication grated, even though Steve knew, he knew Batroc was goading him, he knew Batroc knew he couldn’t beat Steve… But it stung nonetheless.

Before he knew what he was doing, he holstered his shield, keeping his eyes on Batroc as he undid the chin-strap on his helmet. “On va voir,” he said evenly, and he was itching for this fight, itching for a reason to beat this guy into the ground, regardless of how well he fought—

He and Batroc both flinched and spun around when a loud gunshot rang out across the deck, and before either of them could react further, Becca appeared, shooting Batroc twice, without hesitation, with the stun gun they had designed specifically to take hostiles in alive.

The man dropped like a sack of flour, and Steve was left staring between Becca—who looked positively furious—and the third man there, laying face-down in a pool of his own blood, a gun lying slightly beyond his outstretched fingertips.

“On va voir?” Becca hissed, stepping over Batroc’s prone body with an expression so infuriated Steve was almost afraid she’d set him on fire with just that look. He’d seen her angry before, but… shit, he’d messed up. “On ne vois rien! What the actual fuck, Rogers?!”

“Okay,” he said slowly, raising his hands in surrender, because Becca was still holding her stun gun, and she was not lowering it. “In my defense…”

“In your defense?” Becca shouted, stomping forward, shoving him in the shoulder hard. “There was no in your defense! You put away your main defensive weapon! You took off your helmet on an active mission with hostiles still in play! Jesus Christ, Steve, you knowbetter!”

Steve opened his mouth, but Becca waved her gun around angrily and he snapped it shut again, because he might be a supersoldier and if she shot him, he’d survive, but it’d still hurt like hell, and he wouldn’t put it past her to shoot him just to teach him a lesson about how close to death his body could take him.

“He had a gun on you,” she hissed. “He was waiting to take the shot, damn it! He would’ve blown your fucking brains out, Steve, and it’s not like you have any to spare!”

“Hey!” Steve exclaimed indignantly, glaring at her. “That’s not fair.”

“Try that again when you didn’t put away your main weapon in front of a hostile!” Becca shouted, poking her finger so close to his face, Steve was worried she’d boop him on the nose and make him laugh, because he knew laughing at her now would definitely make her shoot him.

“Okay, look,” Steve tried, backing away a little, because he was no fool, and staying within arm’s reach of an angry Barnes was never a good idea. “My entire body is basically a weapon. I mean—”

“Well, this is awkward,” Natasha interrupted.

Becca and Steve spun around to find her sitting cross-legged on Batroc’s back, securing his wrists with heavy handcuffs that could probably hold even Steve. Steve’s cheeks flamed, because Natasha was smirking in a way that meant she had heard all of the conversation that Steve would have rather kept between him and Becca.

Of course, he’d rather have not had the conversation at all, but he wasn’t that lucky.

“Where were you?” he bit out angrily, desperately grasping at the only thing he could to change the subject, glaring at Nat when she just raised her eyebrow. “Rumlow needed you with the hostages.”

“He’s fine,” she waved a hand dismissively. “I…” she paused and her eyes darted between him and Becca, who was still steely-eyed and angry, but at least not shouting anymore. “Fury gave me a secondary mission,” she admitted, holding up a hand to stave off the angry tirade that was already itching to burst from Steve’s lips. “I can’t talk about it here. Later, Steven.”

“Fine,” Steve bit out. “Fine.” He pointed to Natasha menacingly. “But you’re coming back to our place later to explain.”

Nat raised an eyebrow. “Fine.”

“Fine.”

————————

Start from the beginning:

In Hell We Stand By You:

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8)

Never Feel Alone:

(1) (2)

Decisions: (1)

Dancing with a Limp:

(1) (2)