#as much as i lover her her titan markings suck

[mousecracker]

i’m in love with this woman 

[falcor-thee-luck-dragon]

Bad Dreams - Bucky Barnes x Avenger (f)reader

Summary: You and Bucky are adjusting to civilian life after the Blip, some nights he needs you more then he realizes.

Warning: bit o angst, soft Bucky, fluff

Masterlist

It had been a long fucking five years alone, sure you had Nat and Steve around at the Avengers Facility. But no matter how much time you spent with them doing whatever to keep your mind busy, at the end of the day, you were undoubtedly alone. You liked it that way at one point in your complicated life as an Avenger, but after the blip, you absolutely despised it. 

No one had expected what would have happened to be so terrible and tragic, or it to even go the way that it did. You had never even heard of Thanos or what the fuck kind of weirdass monsters could exist from other parts of the galaxy until they showed up knocking. How rude huh.

Life was peaceful before hand, well for the most part; you were an Avenger, someone who was part of the team. A conjurer of flame and ash, a Phoenix held within that was not afraid to use your power, and you used it well.

Then as per usual, shit went down and low and behold you met the one and only James Buchanan Barnes, Steve’s old friend with the metal arm and troubling history. Not to mention a face to die for, or at least one that would cause a bit of a chaotic scuffle between your two friends. They clearly had other priorities apart from yours at the time which was keep Steve out of jail, don’t burn anyone, and refrain from flirting with his 90 something year old friend. You tried your best in most of those areas. Most of them. 

Nonetheless, you fell hard and fast for the blue eyed man, and him the same for you, his feisty little firecracker with a heart as big and bright as a dragons. So when he went to Wakanda to lie low and get some much needed help. You followed.

With a heartfelt goodbye and a lasting kiss, he went under for a couple long weeks until Shuri and her expert team of scientists were able to fix what those bastards at Hydra had done to him.

For a short yet blessedly peaceful amount of time did you and your dark haired lover live safely within the Wakandan borders. In a small and beautiful little village by a lake, a hut all your own to shelter you from the heat and rain that poured hard onto the earth, and most wonderfully of all you had Bucky.

Life was simple for the first time in a long time, you spent the days helping out the locals and teaching the children how to properly swing a stick in defense, you know completely normal leisure activities. Spending the evenings making a big fire to tell stories under and cook the best food in Wakanda.

And the nights? You spent those wrapped up in Bucky’s arm, although most times you would be the big spoon which he loved more then anything in the whole world. Telling you it’s not just because you’re naturally warm, but that he’s been admittedly a bit touch starved from the years alone and lost. And for that you would always hold him closer.

Then that fateful day came crashing into your lives like a waterfall against rock, your friends had shown up claiming some being called Thanos was coming to take a stone out of Vision’s head. Yeah that was a new one.

The battle wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t great either, you were able to save many lives by scorching the beasts that pursed onward. Letting whips of flame slash hard against the enemy with great skill and force from your bending. Then the world seemed to still, and the wind swayed the trees oddly.

Then HE came, the Titan from another world, he threw down all in his path without an ounce of mercy or remorse. You and Wanda were so close, so damn close to stopping him, but then he threw you back with the whole force of the gauntlet and a moment later Vision was dead.

Your head was bleeding and a fresh scar had marked your jaw in a bloody red slash from the impact. Though your mind didn’t have time to register nor care as Thanos abruptly disappeared into oblivion, leaving a confused Thor in his wake. Much like the rest of the Avengers.

Then to your horror, one by one, your friends began to turn to ash and dust. Gone. You raced for Bucky nearby, praying to who’d ever listen to spare him or you for that matter. You just needed ten more seconds and then you could have held him one last time, touched his precious skin, ran your fingers through his long dark locks.

Looked into his ocean blue eyes, but no, the universe laughed as you gasped in panic, then it snickered as you screamed. Cheering you on as you sobbed in a cyclone of your own fire until the ground was scorched to shriveled dry earth. And no more tears could fall, your throat raw and heart broken in two.

Your world was gone, a memory forever kept locked inside your heart and soul. He was gone, he was your world, Bucky made your life better and you his.

For the coming months you were a mess, an angry and frustrated wreck of a person. Functioning by sheer will power and Natasha to keep you afloat in your new dreary little world of nothingness. You envied Steve for his ability to keep most of his shit together, and where almost enraged by Tony who had everything still intact. Pepper and a child on the way, how cruel the universe appeared.

You would wake up in the middle of the night sweating, your heart racing a mile a minute and usually part of the wall behind you would be burnt and blackened. You never set fire to anything thank god, but fuck, your heart hurt so much.

You wanted to scream most days, but as one year rolled into two and then three, the dull dreary ache in your body subdued to a tiny flicker of sadness. It became almost nonexistent during the day as you went about Avenger business, only to burn hot and angry at night.

You wanted to move on and forget, but you couldn’t, he was too important. They all didn’t deserve to go like that, none of them. And so another year passed, then it was year five since the blip, more months passed on. Until out of nowhere something or perhaps someone miraculous lit the way into a new sense of hope.

Resulting in the return of everyone who had been lost before, including your Bucky. And from that moment after the battle, when at long last you had finally found him, you knew life would never be the same.

——

Rain pours relentlessly from outside your apartment window, a rhythmic pitter patter near your bedside that aids in keeping you asleep and unbothered for the time being. No sooner do you reach the climax of your dream that consists of you being chased by a giant monarch butterfly with no weapon but a sandbox plastic shovel, do you wake. Strange dream.

All your senses flooding back into you as you feel for your lover in the darkness, your eyes still closed as you do so. Your hand slides across the crinkled bedsheets to no avail, the spot next to you is undeniably empty and rather cold.

oh, Bucky.

Cracking one eye open you glance at the alarm clock where it reads 1:10am in big red letters, illuminating the nightstand that it sits on. You take in a deep breath and roll onto your back to stare up at the ceiling, this has become a reoccurring event with Bucky in the following months since his return.

In Wakanda things were different, it was like a nice prolonged vacation away from all your problems and responsibilities of the world. Now, you two have an apartment somewhere in New York City all your own. Bucky goes to therapy and does his best to integrate back into his new role as a civilian while you work as an Avenger part time. The other half used for being a supporting loving girlfriend to Bucky and a hacker on the side for extra cash in the bank.

You get it though, he’s adjusting the best he’s able to manage right now, and even when he swears the nightmares are gone for good. You know him too well to believe that shit, you can see it in his eyes, he may have been a master assassin at one point. Now he’s with a skilled and almost equally as weathered Avenger who’s seen her share of people really going through it.

It’s not like you were doing any better, you’d wake up screaming in the dead of night from another nightmare involving losing Bucky again. That only lasted for a month or so, but still, it sucked and hurt every damn time. So you get it, nightmares can be a bitch.

Blinking the bleariness out of your eyes, you yawn into the darkness and take a moment to listen to the sound of the rain. It’s peaceful and calm, and though you’d like nothing more then to roll over and fall back into the dark comfortable void of sleep. You long to see Bucky again, even if you saw him not even two hours ago.

Pulling the blanket off of your body, you slowly sit up and face the blurry window that overlooks the glowing city, well more so the park close by. Pushing some hair out of your face, you stand and take a brief moment to stretch before letting your right hand emit a beautiful blue flame.

It proptly lights up the dark room into a shadowed yet still visible one, with a lazy proud smile, you move for the opened bedroom door. Your flame lights the way down the hall until you wander past the tiny kitchen and stop in your living room to the sound of heavy breathing coming from the far end.

You give a lopsided smirk to no one in particular as you pad over to the man who’s sweaty and shirtless on the wooden apartment floor in nothing but his boxers and a single blanket that’s not covering much. Well he sure looks like a hot mess, your hot mess that is.

He gives you an apologetic glance before staring tiredly back at the nearby wall. You extinguish your flame and gently nudge his leg with your sock, “How’s the floor?” You ask with a tinge of humor to lighten the mood.

He lets out a breathy laugh before looking back up at you, “Solid.” Quips Bucky in reference to the hard floor and perhaps his take on the makeshift bed, always one for a bit of humor huh.

Chuckling you crouch down to better meet his shadowed gaze, “I guess so,” You mutter with a shrug, “....afraid I might burn you in my sleep?”

Shaking his head, he gifts you the flash of a smile, “No. Not this time Y/N.”

You smile back before sitting down next to him, you look down at his hand before reaching out to take it without any resistance, “I know it’s the nightmares Bucky.” You whisper softly, your eyes sincere and true, “You don’t have to hold it all in okay, I don’t.....I don’t want you to do that.”

Letting out a reluctant sigh, Bucky frowns, “I know Y/N....I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, I just love you too much to see you hurting. I’ve missed you for what feels like a hundred goddamn years and I don’t want you to slip away from me..” You add with a sad smile, “Never again.”

Squeezing your hand gently, Bucky nods, “You’re not going to lose me okay. I promise you that much alright. I love you Y/N.” And he means every word.

“That’s good then. Can you at least tell me something to ease your mind from what’s bothering you?” You ask with a hopeful smile, “Please. Remember what the therapist talked about with speaking your thoughts and feelings....it’s like emptying a treasure chest or some shit.”

“Right.” Laughs Bucky, “Can’t say you’re going to find any gold in here.”

“Shut up I don’t care.” You muse with a shrug, “I’m here to listen.”

“As the lady wishes.” Retorts Bucky with a half-assed bow that caused you to break out into a small smile at his cheekiness.

“Wait.” You pause.

“What?”

“Can we sit on the couch for this I wanna lay next to you.”

Rolling his eyes, Bucky fakes his annoyance as you patiently await his answer, “Fine.” He confirms, quickly standing up and taking you with him, “But you gotta lay on me I’m kinda cold now.”

Bucky falls onto the large comfortable couch with a dramatic huff as he pulls you onto his shirtless body, “Weren’t you just all sweaty?” You wonder with a raised brow as he quickly wraps his arms around your waist.

“Yep.”

“Gross.”

Bucky chuckles, “Well you’re making me talk about my feelings.”

“That’s because you won’t talk about them with your actual therapist.” You sass back.

“I hate it when you’re right.” Mutters Bucky into your cheek as you snicker at his adorably dramatic self.

“I think your brain short circuited and misplaced the word hate for absolutely love and adore.”

“Maybe.” Adds Bucky as he steals a sweet kiss, “I’m still working through things you know.”

“Okay smartass. Now tell me what’s on your mind.”

His chest rises as he takes a deep heavy sigh, he stares out the nearby window that keeps the rainy city from being bothersome. You can’t completely see his face due to the darkened room, but you’re close enough to see the way his face turns into a frown.

Suddenly you think maybe you shouldn’t have bugged him to speak about his nightmares. Until he purses his lips together and glances those big beautiful blue eyes down at you, the flash of a smile revealing itself in a split second.

To give him a bit more confidence and perhaps to calm his nerves, do you reach a hand up to gently caress his stubbled cheek, “Was it the Starks again?” You whisper softly in question, knowing how much it still haunts him. Among all the others.

Closing his eyes, he leans into your touch, “Not this time.” Mutters Bucky before taking that hand in his as he rests his head against the couches puffy arm. “Someone else.....Someone who got in the way. Wrong place wrong time.”

“oh.” Slips from your mouth quietly, you’re not sure what else to say, but you’re still hoping he’ll speak a little more about it. “Do they have anything to do with your list?”

It’s a shot in the dark, but you’re well aware of Bucky’s goal to make amends with his past and the people tied with it, maybe someone might be linked to it by chance.

Bucky takes another weighted breath, you can just sense how terrible he feels about this person. “Bucky take your time, it’s okay I’m right here.”

Looking for a positive sign you watch as he closes his eyes once again before moving his head a little bit so that it rests against yours, “I know....it’s just, difficult.”

“Always is.”

“Yeah.”

Kissing your forehead, his flesh arm wraps around your waist as he makes himself more comfortable before continuing, “I was in some government building at night.....tasked with eliminating some special high end target. I finished the mission in under a minute, but uh....there was a civilian who saw everything.”

“Oh shit.”

“Yeah.” Mumbles Bucky against your skin as he takes a moment to gather himself, soon he shifts underneath you once more before letting out a soft breath, “I shot him.”

A bang of sadness washes over you in that brief second and then a sparking anger for what Hydra had forced him to do. You keep silent and wait for Bucky to continue on with his story.

“That guy I killed. He um....he uh, he didn’t deserve that....but I had to.” Bucky’s voice is shaky as he puts his words together, “And you know what’s the worst about this?”

“I’d like not to imagine it but I know you should tell me.”

“You remember Yori?”

“Of course, he takes us to that great sushi place sometimes.”

Bucky squeezes his eyes shut as he hugs you tighter against his bare chest for some kind of comfort, his voice nothing but a regretful whisper, “I killed his son.”

Your eyes soften as he reveals who this mystery civilian was, “Damn.”

“Out of all the people in this world and I meet the man who’s son I murdered for Hydra.”

“That’s almost a sick joke.”

“I know. God I’m so fucked up.”

“No.” You protest softly while he hides his face in your neck, “I know you’ve heard this a thousand times but that wasn’t you. It wasn’t the real James Buchanan Barnes alright, you didn’t have a choice. Those fuckers took that away from you.”

“I know Y/N, but I still did it.”

“Bucky look at me.” You ask kindly, to your genuine surprise he lifts his head from your neck to look into your determined gaze, “You’re not the only one here who was manipulated and had their freedom taken from them by Hydra. I’ve done terrible things too, but you know what? We were never truly ourselves then, they molded us into their weapons and now.....they can never touch us again. You understand me?”

Tears whell up in Bucky’s shimmering eyes at your truthfully honest words, he had temporarily forgotten that you were once an unwilling participant in Hydra’s mind stone experimentations many years ago.

“I understand....” Mutters Bucky as he swallows hard, “what would I be without you?”

Giving him a small tearful smile, you gently wipe away a stray tear from his cheek, “A little bit more alone I’d say.”

“You’re a hundred times braver then me you know that? I couldn’t image five years without you and these fucking nightmares.” Admits Bucky as he moves to rest his head in the crook of your neck, “I’d go insane.”

Appreciating this close proximity and his heartfelt confession, you smile into the darkness, “I think I did. Thing is about shitty situations like that....life moves on and finds a way. I have you now, I thought I would lose you forever.”

“I’m glad you didn’t.”

“Me too.”

[darthwheezely]

apollo - c.w.

pairing: apollo!charlie x nymph!reader (greek gods au)

warnings: NSFW SMUT/MINORS DNI: unprotected sex, very fluffy and lovemakey sex, nudity, oral (female receiving), praise kink, fingering

a/n: this is my installment for @wandsandwheezes ‘ and @amxrtentias ‘ and i’s Greek gods au series! mya has her Ares one up, and keep an eye out for Lee’s Dionysus fic!

God of the Sun, the Light, Music and Prophecy, Apollo is one of the most complex and important gods. He is the son of Zeus and the Titan Leto, and twin brother to Artemis. While a youthful God, he bore an old heart and wisdom above his years, pushing forward his love of humans, art, and most importantly - soul.

The sun poured through the windows of the palace walls, the bedroom erupting with light and warmth. Although the ivory sheets your bare body laid in were thin, Helios’ pure light was always there to bathe you in a warm embrace of Olympian mornings.

Then you heard the sound. You smiled to yourself at the rapturous hum of none other than your lover playing the lyre. You could lie and listen to him play all day long, but there was something about the morning that had him playing like everything was perfect and made sense.

You smiled softly to yourself and gathered the soft gossamer silk of the sheets, bunching it around your body to keep from Charlie’s aide. You tip toed through the bedroom and down the hall, the sound of the lyre growing louder in your ears. You strode gently along the table in the grand hall to make your way towards him. He was naked, save an ivory toga that covered below his god-like hips and v line and folding gently along his upper thighs.

You watched as he strummed along, nimble fingers that had strummed you last night, now fixing delicate tunes and melodies with the instrument in front of him, his eyes lazily adoring the cradled lyre in his arms. You crept further behind him and gently laid a hand on his shoulder. He flinched slightly and turned to you, chuckling softly.

“Good morning, my muse,” he cooed, delicately picking up your wrist and delivering a soft kiss to the flexing skin. He pulled you by the arm into his lap, and continued to play.

“And good morning to you, Charlie. Been up long?”

“Ah, not too long - just since my favorite star besides you came up, that is,” he quipped softly, pressing a kiss to the underside of your jaw, making you blush.

“I couldn’t wake you, my muse, not when you were sleeping so soundly - you just look so beautiful and peaceful like that.” He pulled your face to look at him, his thumb lightly cradling your chin as he slowly dragged you into a deep kiss. He tasted like apples and mornings, it never changed, even with as long as you’d stayed with him in his palace. After a few moments of bliss you pulled away, sitting up and brushing through his hair with your hand.

“Why do you call me that?” You pressed softly. He let his eyes flutter close and hummed.

“Why do I call you what, love?”

You bit your lip and pressed a kiss to his hair. “Why do you call me your muse?”

“I call you my muse because you are my inspiration, darling-“

“Inspiration?”

“Yes, now let me finish, love,” he chuckled at your curiousness and kissed your jaw chastely again before continuing:

“Art is beautiful, yes, and true, I have my nine muses that help me give the humans their own inspiration and joy and light but...sometimes it gets hard to make your own creations when for thousands of years you’ve been supplying it to other people, do you understand?” He raised his brow a little bit to see if you heard him and when you nodded, he continued on:

“And then I found you. You who constantly pushes me to find new things to make and set apart from all the others, you who gives me art just by entering a room - you, my love, are a masterpiece unto this world. You are and will always be my utmost important and needed and loving muse.” He slid a hand behind your neck and pulled your foreheads together.

“And I am nothing in this world without you.” He finished, his thumb again finding your jaw as he tilted up to kiss you. You moaned almost at once into his mouth, the pure neediness and wanton hunger in his throat drawing a raw strangle of a whine from Charlie almost instantly.

He slid his hands around to your hips and ass, squeezing gently as his mouth continued to move with yours, and picked you up, carrying you to the bedroom. Your ankles latched around the hard muscles of his lower back, and your heels dug lightly into his tailbone before he set you on the bed. He swiftly unwrapped the sheets from your body as he began to kiss and suck down your neck to the valley of your breasts, your knees arching rapidly at his delicate touch.

“My muse, you have to be good for me to make you sing, yes?” He smirked lightly, his hands sliding down your thighs to your knees and pushing your legs out and down.

“Y-yes, Charlie, I promise.” You whimpered, your hands flying to his hair and pulling gingerly as his mouth slid further to where you needed him the most. He sucked a deep purple mark on the skin above your core, eliciting many a loud and throaty moan from deep in you.

“Look at my patient little nymph, I’m so proud of you for being so good,” he licked a small stripe up your pussy, smiling brightly at the sight of your evident arousal.

“Listening so well, my favorite nymph, always know what to do, don’t you?” He cooed, burying his face into you, finally giving you the relief of where you needed him.

“Charlie,” you breathed out, the feeling of his fingers sheathing in and out of you so much and altogether too little to bear at once. He moaned in you, the vibrations sending electricity pulsing through your body. You ground further on his face to reach your high, his mouth sucking and nibbling on your clit. When you released with a cry of his name, you watched with lust as his back rippled like the waves of the Mediterranean, your eyes rolling to the back of your head at the sight.

You whined as he pulled his head away, the sun shining on his body like an even more ethereal being than he already was. He stood up to his full height and released the toga from his body before climbing back on top of you, sheathing himself in you as he eased on your body.

You both let out lewd moans at the feeling of being one with each other, a hand grabbing one of your legs and hitching it onto his waist to push himself all the way into you, before pulling out and easing back in.

The farther you arched your back, the further his strong and chiseled chest pushed you back down, the rhythm he set rocking you to and fro.

“That’s it, my muse, doing so well, taking me so perfectly,” he whispered in your ear, lightly licking the shell and digging deeper into your cunt. He had drawn out noise after noise from you, his dick making waves through you and the bed combined with the warmth of the mid morning sun on his back filling Charlie with indelible power.

He started to rock a bit sloppily, a clear sign he was reaching his release, before swinging himself on his back, pulling you on top of him to straddle his waist. One of his hands flew to scratch and claw at your lower back as the other went to the hilt of your hip bone. His mind jumped to the alluring idea of everyone seeing his little nymph rutting on him in front of the open window and with a cry of your name fucked his seed up into you with as much power and force as possible, the feeling of being full throwing you into your high, your thighs clenching around his waist with equal force.

“Love...” he purred into your shoulder, the taste of sweat and sex evident as he licked and sucked at that area.

“Yes, Charlie?” You rasped into his neck, your arms fiercely tight around his back and shoulder blades.

He grinned to himself and began gently rubbing your spine, pulling you to face him and pushing sweaty hairs off your forehead.

“Fancy a day in the sun?”

taglist! @amxrtentias @whizboyhalo @lumosandnoxwriting @harrysweasleys @wand3ringr0s3 @anxiousblanketqueen @anchoeritic @jaywritesstuff0 @sagittarius-flowerchild @sinfulweasley @kitwalker02 @jorduhnn @cyliamarti @garyluly @mothermantids @miarivi

[seattlesea]

Why Percabeth Isn’t a Good Ship (Sorry 2x)

I’m definitely getting cancelled- 

1. Annabeth is physically abusive. The fandom makes this point seem controversial and debatable, but it’s really not. The definition of abuse is hitting someone. Annabeth hit Percy. Therefore, Annabeth abused Percy. Is that really that hard to understand? Annabeth hit Percy for the first time in The Titan’s Curse when she, Percy, and Thalia were looking for the di Angelo siblings. She punched him in the gut when he asked her who he should ask to dance with him. Annabeth knows that Percy can be oblivious at times...but punishes him when it benefits her? The second time was in The Mark of Athena, when she judo-flipped him because she missed him. That’s...what?? Usually when people are worried about someone else, they hug or kiss them, not flip them over their shoulder. And yes Annabeth kissed him first, but the judo-flip was completely unnecessary. Annabeth punished Percy for ‘leaving’ her despite him being kidnapped and his memory wiped. And everyone’s like ‘But Percy didn’t feel any pain!!11!!1!’ The chapter wasn’t in his point of view, so that claim is a guess. Just cause he didn’t say ‘Ow’ doesn’t mean he wasn’t in pain. Also- Annabeth slammed him on a stone pavement on his back. That definitely hurts, even if Percy is a demigod, physically strong, and has gotten hurt a lot. There’s a difference between ‘playful hitting’ and actually hurting someone. Yes they trained a lot, but this isn’t training. This is Annabeth punishing Percy for being traumatized with yet another life-threatening quest and being kidnapped. I don’t remember Percy judo-flipping Annabeth after he saw her again when she got kidnapped in TTC. Besides, the Romans were about to take out their weapons when they saw Annabeth attack Percy, so if all of them thought it was an attack...it was most likely an attack. Even Annabeth said herself “I only attack my boyfriend like that”. The thing is, if it was Percy who flipped Annabeth over his shoulder and slammed her on her back or punched her in the gut, all the fans immediately would’ve freaked out and cancelled him, calling him a horrible and abusive boyfriend, but because it’s the girl hitting the guy, it’s fine apparently. Nothing wrong with it, right? And then Riordan (and the fandom) had the audacity to romanticize that abuse. Abuse isn’t a sweet, romantic gesture. Stop making it seem like it is. That’s disgusting. 

2. Annabeth is also verbally abusive and toxic. Annabeth canonically lowered Percy’s self-esteem, constantly insulted him and his intelligence despite knowing he was insecure about it and always getting kicked out of schools and getting bad grades (even with her so-called ‘endearing’ name for him ‘Seaweed Brain’), and the overall idea of Percabeth is a super smart, pretty girl making a guy with below average intelligence feel insecure about himself. Percy’s self-esteem has plummeted since he met Annabeth and her behavior is never called out or even noticed, which implies some manipulation going on. Annabeth is shown to be extremely capable of manipulating her enemies and anyone else she pleases, and there are quite a few signs she’s using it against Percy (his feelings of obligation, fear, and guilt of and over her, questioning himself, having strings attached, always only thinking of her and no one else in his life, etc.), especially since Percy begins to gradually stop noticing Annabeth’s wrong and toxic behavior as the story progresses. 

3. Annabeth only likes Percy cause he’s the chosen one. Annabeth only hung around Percy since The Lightning Thief cause she thought he was ‘the one’ and so she could finally go on a quest. She literally used Percy to go out to the mortal world and ‘prove herself’ cause really, all she cares about is glory, which is shown multiple times throughout the series with all her pride and ambitions. Plus the fact that Chiron made Annabeth swear on the River Styx that she would keep Percy from danger is a pretty clear sign she didn’t stick around him just cause she wanted to, but because she felt obligated to and cause it would benefit her. Take all of this and it’s kind of obvious Annabeth only hung around Percy cause he was the chosen one of the prophecy, a son of one of the Big Three, and was destined to go on multiple quests and play a big part in the mythological world, which is what she always wanted since book one.

4. It was forced. Since the beginning of book one, it was so obvious that Percy and Annabeth were going to get together that their relationship ended up being boring, dull, and flat. Riordan made it so obvious they were going to be a couple that nothing that happened to their relationship really mattered, cause everyone knew it would work out in the end (which is probably why everyone *wrongly* hated on Rachel) so what happened in between didn’t matter. Their relationship was the typical ‘male lead and female lead’, ‘bad boy trouble-maker skater and nerdy good girl’ power couple that was way too clear. And Riordan made it worse by pushing their relationship and shoving it into the readers’ faces way too much. In MoA Annabeth states that she’s always had a crush on Percy (since they were twelve) which immediately rips all the development their relationship (which was supposedly ‘friends to lovers’, but not anymore) had away. Riordan made up a bunch of honestly dumb scenarios that were legit cringe to make Percabeth seem like ‘OTP’ that really didn’t make sense.

5. It ruined their characters. Percy and Annabeth would’ve been way better off as just friends. After they got together in HoO, all their personality and everything else that made them independent was destroyed to make room for more ‘Percabeth’. All of Annabeth’s skills, bravery, intelligence, pride, ferocity, judgmentalism, and all the other traits and flaws that made her a well-written character were never utilized or even mentioned. All she thought about was Percy, and the same goes for him. His loyalty, sarcasm, humor, obliviousness, etc. disappeared to make room for arrogant Annabeth fanboy. In PJO, they were amazingly well-written and great role models for younger readers (especially Annabeth), but in HoO their characters were exclusively ‘Annabeth’s boyfriend’ and ‘Percy’s girlfriend’. Their characters were completely dependent on each other, and they were way better off as just friends. 

6. Annabeth is way too possessive. And creepy. It’s fine and honestly normal for people to get jealous when another person likes someone they do, but Annabeth’s jealousy was downright creepy. Not only did she not know if her feelings for Percy were reciprocated or not, but she also didn’t know if Percy and Rachel liked each other, either. The very first time she met Rachel she immediately hated her. That’s not ‘I’m jealous cause this girl likes the guy I do’, that’s ‘I’m jealous cause the guy I like has another female friend’. She had no reason to believe that Rachel and Percy liked each other and has no say in who they can like, either. She thought that she and Percy absolutely had to be in a relationship and that he couldn’t even have friends with different genitals than him. And remember when Annabeth literally stalked Percy in The Sea of Monsters? Like when she creeped by his window, constantly watched him, and kept tabs on him just cause she ‘couldn’t find the right time’ to tell him something cause he was ‘never alone’ despite him being alone multiple times and despite the fact that she literally could’ve just knocked on his door like a normal person instead of creeping around his cabin and staring at him through the windows? Again- switch the roles. If it was Percy who was stalking Annabeth, everyone would’ve immediately called him a creep. If- according to Tumblr and almost everyone who read Twilight- Edward is a creep for stalking Bella, then Annabeth is a creep for stalking Percy. 

7. It’s mostly fan love. Honestly, the fandom is the only thing that fuels Percabeth. Riordan just destroys it. He shoved it down the readers’ throats, forced it way too much with really dumb and honestly unrealistic scenarios, and made it abusive and toxic. On its own, Percabeth freaking sucks. The fandom’s version of Percabeth is 1000x better than whatever the hell Riordan was doing, but even that version is toxic. Like, I’ve seen way too many jokes about Annabeth hitting Percy (as if abuse is hilarious and amazing meme fuel and not an extremely sensitive topic that triggers multiple people who actually went through it). Half the time, the fandom fixes Percabeth and the other half of the time they over-glorify and ruin it. The fandom over exaggerates and over glorifies it way too much. It’s not that great of a relationship, to be honest. Most of y’all only like it in the first place cause Riordan made it canon.

8. It was cringey. Like I said above, Riordan wrote some really dumb scenes for Percabeth. I mean- the matching gray streaks in their hair despite Atlas and Artemis not getting any? Percy’s tie to the mortal world while bathing in the River Styx being Annabeth and not his mom, Grover, etc.? Percy only remembering Annabeth, the girl he’s only known for four years and not his mom, the only woman who actually cared for and took care of him or Grover, his best friend who protected and continuously cared about him? Percy turning down immortality only for Annabeth and not even bothering to mention the pain of leaving behind his life, friends, family, memories, etc. behind if he accepted it? The romanticized judo-flip? The whole ‘dark-haired rebellious bad boy/nerdy blonde good girl who can be bad’ trope? Even the boring predictability of Percabeth is cringe. 

9. It’s a bad influence on younger readers. Basically the lesson of Percabeth is ‘Once you get a love interest nothing else in your life matters’. Besides that one single scene that took like three lines in The Son of Neptune, Percy never even thought of his own mom, nor did he think about any of his friends or passed allies like his dad, Rachel, Grover, Paul, Silena, Luke, Ethan, Bob/Iapetus, Tyson, Calypso, Charles, Michael (whose death he accidentally caused), Bianca, Zoë, etc. Even when in Tartarus with the curse of the Arai being forced to remember all the people he forgot and feeling guilty about abandoning Bob and Calypso, all he thought about was Annabeth. Even when faced with the man who broke the heart of the girl who sacrificed herself for him, Percy didn’t even think of her, only his jealousy of Jason. Same thing with Annabeth. She never thought about her mom, Luke, Thalia, her step-mom or step-brothers, etc. It was all about Percy. Cause yes, Riordan, that’s exactly the lesson you should teach your younger readers- forget everyone you ever knew the moment you get a partner. Besides that, it also teaches readers that being rude to people who like the same person as you is completely okay cause no one will care and once you start being rude, bitter, and possessive you’ll get exactly what you want (that’s literally what happened, with Annabeth and with Calypso, too). He also teaches that after you get a partner, everything that makes you you will disappear and you’ll be completely dependent on them and nothing in your life will matter, even your own independent life and personality. 

10. The fandom tries to excuse and explain Annabeth’s behavior??? What??? Since when does explaining and excusing hitting people put you in the right again? And the excuses aren’t even good, too! Percabeth fans use-  Annabeth was full of emotions/mad and doesn’t know how to deal with emotions. Annabeth really loved Percy. It was only one time. Annabeth was worried about Percy and mad that she left him. Annabeth didn’t mean to hurt him. Annabeth didn’t know what she was doing cause she was full of emotions. ??? Annabeth was full of emotions/mad and doesn’t know how to deal with emotions- Annabeth was seventeen years old, the daughter of the wisdom goddess, and is supposedly the smartest character in the series who is shown to be extremely good at reading people and their emotions. And y’all are really trying to say she doesn’t know how to deal with her emotions?  Annabeth really loved Percy- SO? A mother might really love her child, does that excuse her for hitting them for dumb reasons? It was only one time- actually, it was twice, and so what? If someone was slapped across the face ‘only one time’, does that mean they weren’t abused? ‘Abuse’ doesn’t mean ‘hit constantly’, it means ‘hit’. If someone was hit, they were abused. Is that really not a known fact in this fandom? Annabeth was worried about Percy and mad that she left him- last time I checked, people didn’t hit others when they were worried about them. If I was worried that my friend was going to get hurt, I wouldn’t hurt them myself. That literally makes no sense. And again- Percy didn’t leave Annabeth. He was kidnapped. Do y’all not know the definition of that, either? Annabeth didn’t mean to hurt him- yes, cause that’s why she decided to flip him over her shoulder, slam him on a stone pavement on his back, and punish him for ‘leaving her’.  Annabeth didn’t know what she was doing cause she was full of emotions- Annabeth??? the daughter of the wisdom goddess??? not knowing what she’s doing??? huh??? I mean, would any of you really, legitimately try to use any of these dumb excuses to excuse a man from hitting his wife? Hopefully not. And if you did, you would immediately get hated on and legit cancelled. So what makes this any different? Also- I see the excuse ‘Annabeth didn’t know Percy lost his Achilles Heel and thought he was still invincible’. Under different circumstances I’d accept that, but Annabeth knew that Percy’s Achilles Heel was on the small of his back...BUT SHE SLAMMED HIM ON HIS BACK. If Percy hadn’t lost the Achilles Heel, Annabeth literally would’ve killed him. Abusive enough for y’all? Or is attempted murder excusable and still ‘OTP’? 

11. They had no chemistry whatsoever. Was I the only one who felt...absolutely no chemistry between Percy and Annabeth? Like some of their moments were cute, their friendship was really good, and they had a lot of potential, but they didn’t feel right for each other. Remember- opposites don’t attract (they just argue, and no one has ‘another half’ that needs to ‘complete them’, everyone is their own person), they cancel each other out. I mean, Reyna and Annabeth had more chemistry in that one chapter of the New Rome tour in MoA than Percy and Annabeth had in 12+ books. They’re just...not right for each other, I guess. 

I’m definitely getting cancelled-

Edit 2: Sorry if I offended anyone with that last note. Just wanted to let y’all know that I am not here to start any drama, hurt anyone, or disrespect any Percabeth shippers. I respect your opinions 100% and only ask you do the same for me. Like I literally only wrote this at 12 am when I was bored and had nothing else to do and couldn’t sleep (same goes for pretty much everything else I write about PJ). Besides, why argue and start drama over dumb stuff like that when we can just find something we agree on? Don’t like Piper McLean? Let’s talk about that. Think Reyna Avila Ramirez-Arellano is a queen? Let’s talk about that. Think Nico di Angelo is freaking amazing? Let’s talk about that. Think Theyna would be adorable? Let’s talk about that. Want someone to vent to about writer’s block? Why the hell not? Want random writing advice and tips for writer’s block? Sure, I got plenty. Instead of arguing and starting beef over trivial fictional ships. 

[colossal-fallout]

Alright I'm stepping up and asking for titan annie smut with s/o (its kinda important in smut so let's say reader had male genitalia). Also take all the time u need sweetie ❤

This is my first time writing something like this, so I hope it's okay. Also sorry it's late had loads going on irl.

In this fic, titans have sexual organs. Please Gimmie feedback on this one, whoever requested it ❤️

Hope you enjoy it.

M! Reader X Titan Annie

Warnings: NSFW. 18+ Smut. Monster fucking.

You couldn't believe your ears when you heard your lover mutter those words in a strained admission. Your head went fuzzy and your body numb as the same sentence rang around your ears over and over again.

"I'm the female Titan."

That was three days ago, and to be honest, your world was still shaken. She'd explained everything; the reason she was here. Her mission. Your brain was still stuck at the first stage of the cycle of grief - denial.

You'd told her you needed space, to clear your head. A kiss sealing your promise of not exposing her. Her reasons were somewhat justified. You were just relieved she wasn't a cold blooded murderer, slaughtering people with no rhyme or reason.

Seventy-two hours since the news and she'd arranged to meet you deep within a forest inside wall rose; far away from any witnesses.

Far away from any hope of a saviour should things take a turn.

Your heart ascended into your throat when you entered the arranged clearing and your eyes were met with two huge clear blue ponds staring back at you.

The female Titan was on all fours, chin to the ground showing submission like some giant dog in a play-bow. Except her saddened eyes expressed a lot less than excitement.

"A-Annie...?" You croak, your body freezing and tensing.

A low growl of confirmation rumbles her, the hot breath from her nostrils pushing back your hood. Your hand auto grabs it back, pulling it off your head entirely as if without it on your head would get you a better view of what was before you.

She had told you. But a part of you refused to believe it. Until now.

You walk around her timidly, hand grazing along her Titan flesh as you would walking around marveling at a new car.

"So, this..." You frown taking it all in. "Is your Titan form, huh?"

She bows her head once in a nod, her eyes being the only thing else to move as she follows your movements.

Your heart suddenly sinks. Here she is, baring her soul to you and all you did for three days was refuse to even believe it.

"I'm sorry, baby." You sigh continuing your journey down her side. "I shouldn't have pushed you away."

Her eyes close, accepting your apology humbly.

"Woah."

Her eyes open when you gasp, now behind her and gazing up at this huge yet beautiful pussy hovering above you.

Her Titan form might not be capable of blushing; but her human form sure was as she lowers her pelvis slightly to allow you a closer look.

It was like being in a sauna with the heat rolling off of it, engulfing you with its beautiful scent - one so undeniably delicious you couldn't help but notice your mouth begining to salivate.

"Have you ever...? A a Titan...?"

She looks around, shaking her head.

A smirk spreads across your face.

"Let me... Make it up to you."

You grab two large handfuls of her ass, the full feeling in your palms as well as knowing there was still plenty more to give attention to was already begining to stir your dick awake.

She mewls, rumbling the air around you both as you press your face into her warm flesh, you entire body caressing and squeezing everything it could with such greedy glee.

"Fuck..." You breathe, lowering your head and walking under her pubic bone to her colossal clit.

A high pitched grumble escapes her as you open your mouth and suck her clit, there still being enough of it to caress with your hands and massage it - kneeding with your fingers and squeezing it against you.

You flinch in surprise when you feel a warm, sticky substance begin to drizzle over you. Looking up you see her arousal leaking from her insdies, coating you in her natural lubricant.

"Fuck Annie."

You didn't know what it was, but something about this awakened something in you. Something absolutely ferral and hysterical.

You return to what you were doing, working her flesh with more haste, making out with and groaning against her clit. It was extremely difficult for her not to move and squirm with pleasure, but she didn't want to crush her lover, so instead she dug her large fingertips into the dirt, her eyes pleading and lips parting in a large exhale.

You could hardly take how full you felt - your mouth stuffed with her flesh as well as your arms and entire body squishing into this large bud, more around you to grab and suck and now, dry hump, as you feel like you've died and gone to heaven.

You groan as more fluid trickles down, soaking your cloak, the sound of it splashing against the grass behind you went unnoticed - hastily unzipping your trousers and pulling out your now throbbing cock, not able to handle the overloading senses.

Looking up, you see her peering down at yoi from below her breasts, her large Titan teeth clamping down on her bottom lip.

You didn't know where to start, where to go next as you slowly stroke yourself, rubbing your face against her swollen clit, making out with it sloppily.

A desperate whine emits from her, signalling she was close to her orgasm. You couldn't lie, you were a little apprehensive making her orgasm while you were underneath her. But you'd figured if you could pick a way to die, being crushed by a giant slit while making it climax would probably be the best way to die.

Your pace quickens, the liquid dripping down now more thick and in larger quantities while you work her, now thrusting and rubbing your dick against her deliciously warm flesh.

"Fuck!" You bark, your oozing pre cum not even a small splash upon her as you continue your movements.

You hear her insides clenching together loudly above you, squelching and slopping, trying to grab a hold of anything it could as she begins to tumble off the edge of sanity.

Her fingers sink deeper into the soil as she orgasms, her scream loud and frightening; making nearby birds flutter off in a panic. But you didn't care, you were too preoccupied with the gush of fluid now drenching you, your hair soaked as you continue to rub your swollen head against her. The liquid is warm and pleasant, never did you think you'd be this drenched in pussy juice, the beautiful smell making your eyes roll as you continue to now thrust yourself between two folds of her skin.

Your movements and groans get desperate, this new experience proving too much to handle in one round, your mind already wondering where you were going to mark her with your white mess. You don't have much time to think as another large drip down onto you pushes you into the ether + your eyes roll as you cum, your roar louder than any other time you'd came before in your life. Full, stuffed, warm, soaking and having so much more to fuck and do to her had your knees buckle as you splurge across her, your grip so tight you begin to tremble.

You pant, your comedown from your high hitting you hard. You were going to recover and fuck every inch of this beautiful creature, covering her in all the mess you could as her liquids seep into your mouth.

[pernatius]

Lost in Space Part 12: Ch 2

Previous 

Summary: The fate of the universe will be decided in the final five chapters.

Lost in Space on Tumblr

Lost in Space on ao3

Two pieces. Two halves dropped to what was once an empty, white floor. A golden pool of their blood spilled out from the gash and rippled as my watery eyes met with it. I stepped away, stomach-churning, seeing One’s added reflection. The Lord’s ring and middle fingers pressed against the cigarette and raised it to where their lips should be. Somehow the Lord sucked in its toxic chemicals. A greyish ball spun inside their eye, then seeped out and blew away with a smile. 

Something is vibrating from the tension. As I am slowly realizing, those are the tendons from what I thought I killed seconds ago. They’re reconnecting, twisting, and pulling the halves back together. I take a step back. I take another when the revitalized corpse pounces. Its blood seeps back into its body. After a deep-throated cough, the Watcher looks up at me with dirty yellow eyes. The fragments of my sword spun around my arm one moment, and the next, they’re lunging at the ominously silent Watcher who’s sprinting, seemingly teleporting from left to right, without losing eye contact. 

Both their whips reappear in their hands and come zipping through the air and at me. I outmaneuver both and am about to respond with a heated ball of rich, golden light, but they vanish. 

Looking around the room, I try to sense where the Watcher went. I try focusing to the best of my abilities, but to no avail. So, I wasn’t able to stop the knee to the face, and both straps of electric currents tightly looped around my body, electrocuting and spinning me about as they slid off my frame. 

Above me, the reminiscence of the guard’s commander is charging their hand. It glows. Rays shone between their fingers, but my focus turned elsewhere. One mouths that I have thirty seconds left. Looking up at the opposing figure, I tell them, “This isn’t the end, and I’m sorry about that. I wish I could’ve done better than me that brought you here.” 

The blazing light disappears from their lowering hand. “I can’t forgive you because I won’t forget.”

“I understand. I don’t think I could either. I am the monster.” Two hands charged, I release a massive energy blast that finally puts to rest the still Watcher. Two summons a shield that absorbs the explosion before it could hit One and Five. The Lord struggled a bit, arms shook, and they were pushed back as they fought to best the roaming energy. When they do, the Lord looks at me with a mix of interest and respect as the both of us are exhausted, I am a lot more so, but it marked the end of my one-on-one fight. The outnumbered fight continued on with the return of hundreds wanting to blast my limbs off, hundreds more wanting to tire me more out with hand-to-hand combat, and eight of them hoping to slit my throat with a solidified, sharpened aura. 

I survive it all not because I’m a fighter but because of this cheapened state. So, I don’t take pride in what I’ve done. But I don’t feel disgusted either. With each blink, I can still see and hear them. They’re crawling onto me, piling up, covering the light, pushing me deeper into the emptiness beneath, and moaning in agony. The flames of my gleaming light envelop us, killing not only them but my emotions as well. My vision, too, apparently, because I can see a familiar red-headed figure lifting me up from my collapsed state. She looked like an angel with how the light circled around her edges, softening it too. The blinding, heavenly sight brings me to push myself once again as I reach out towards her. Resting my trembling hand on my love’s face, wiping the tears with my numb thumb, brings her to rest her other hand above mine. It’s warm, unlike mine. For me, it’s only been minutes since the last time we touched, but for her, it’s been years. Her eyes are baggy, and wrinkles are prominent. There’s a thick, white strand of hair at the center of her synthetic red hair. Most associate the color with seduction, but I switch it with blue’s symbolism. It brings me sorrow and tears in my eyes because I left her alone in this confusing place we call the universe for far too long. 

Instead of me forcing out an apology, it’s her letting her heart out, “I’m sorry for everything.” She then proceeds to hug me. It hurts, but not because I have hardly any strength left. Instead, I’m in pain because I love her so much. 

One dismisses their cigarette as they get up from their throne. “A minute off.” 

Raising a single finger, they shoot, and I try creating a shield before her. Something sparks in front of her, but it poofs out of existence. I’m far too weak to do anything but cling onto Ashley, who’s looking confidently directly at the spinning light. I shut my eyes, and with the ringing, loud resonant sound that followed after, I reopened them to see a large blue shield between us and the attack. Turning my head back, I see Saamuki with a rich blue coat, brown boots, and a red sash to tie it all together. Her arms are raised, holding up her makeshift shield. On her ring finger is a ring sparkling because of the blue light. Two Tauvoxes, one a long-time friend and the other a prisoner the last time I saw him, are on either side of her. Like Saamuki, and now that I notice Ashley too, Mikrovos is wearing Quadrant Forty’s fifth battalion uniform and has a prosthetic horn. He also has a ring on, which has me crack a smile. The four of them aren’t the only ones here. Sakhra, Bichak, and that leafy, fearsome giant from the fallen Zeq’s town are here too, with the same clothing as well. Syco is not matching. He’s also the least clean, having scuff marks and untamed hair. An odd reunion, but a welcome one. 

“So, this is where you’ve been. I knew it would take a lot more than that to kill you,” the musty Tauvox professed smugly. 

The smaller Tauvox rolls his eyes before replying with, “We can do the whole ‘I told you so’ after we beat the Lords. Bichak, what’s your status?” Bichak, who’s quickly skimming through the floating book Four gave to him, slides his free hand into his coat and takes out seven dull crystals. Three, Five, and Six join with One. Saamuki encases us in a bubble as Two separates from the Lords and teleports behind us with a battle cry and a flaming fist. It cracks but holds. 

She’s gotten a lot stronger but not all-powerful yet. It’s the reason why she blurts out, “We are all going to die if I’m the only one defending us against four Lords.” The silent vegetation presses his hand on Saamuki’s back. Soon after, she burst with a blue glow, which is almost blinding. Blue symbols etch onto her skin, peeking between her scales, as well. They’re the same ones I’ve seen plenty of times, and as I learned not too long ago, they are words from the very first language. Finally, with Saamuki overflowing with her powers, he pushes past to get to me. He motions for Ashley to hand me over to him. She hesitates, looking into his eyes as she tightens her grip on me.

“Kaishi,” Sakhra hissed. 

Ashley has changed her name. Of course, she’s changed a lot, but she’s still the same woman I’ve grown to love. Respectfully feisty as she grabs hold of the green alien and orders, “Don’t do anything that will make me regret bringing you along with us.” He slowly nods. “We’re all going to make it out of this.” She lets go of him before turning to Bichak. “We only have one chance at this. The Nantos won’t be giving the second time.”

“Just a quick memorization,” Bichak assured.

“Right. Saamuki, the bubble.” Coming from her back, liquified metal slides down to her hands. They solidify once they cover them and shoot through the newly formed opening. “Syco. Sakhra.” The two nod to her. As the Lord stumbles back, holding their wounded eye too, the three dart towards the rest of the Lords. They easily dodge Three’s, Five’s, and Six’s blasts. While the three of them are against the four Lords unless Four and Seven decide to stop being spectators, it’s Saamuki and Mikrovos against the one beefy Lord who’s been trying to smash through.

The bubble does, but it smashes against Two. It flew towards the Lord, who could’ve just moved out of the way but trying to push it back towards us interested them more. A shield comes flying towards the Lord and then another. Another comes. Each time Two tries to punch through it. It takes five times until they unleash a solidified, sharp aura in the shape of a sword to cut right through the sixth time. Mikrovos, with two blades from his gauntlets, blocks the colossal sword. Two’s much greater size pushes Mikrovos back, but Saamuki quickly returns to the fight by transforming her sash into a sword again. It floats next to and follows her as she runs across the makeshift, see-through blue staircase. She jumps the final step and thrusts the barreling long red blade towards Two with its tip pointed directly between where the Lord’s eyes should be. The Lord sidesteps away but is cut by Mikrovos in the process. 

Saamuki strikes the floor. Her sword comes back right next to her. It spins in the air as it once again tries to contact Two, but it clashes with the Lord’s sword. Mikrovos proceeds towards Two’s weaponless right, jumping over Saamuki’s blast, but Two realizes this between having their sword gliding against Saamuki’s, and so forms another one. Both of the Lord’s hands are preoccupied with the lover’s swords, and they are also busy swerving away from the serpent’s blasts. The trio seemed to match until the titan’s right foot stomped across the floor, causing the floor beneath Mikrovos to rip open. A pure black hole appeared beneath him, it swallowed him, but he didn’t disappear for long because he came crashing into the ground from the newly conceived tear above. 

Five is about to grab Kaishi, but because of their weight, it slows them down, making it easy for Sakhra to defend her with a ferocious punch. Amazingly, the collision didn’t crack the stones that makeup Sakhra’s right arm. Sakhra’s other arm grabs the Lord’s wrist and, with ease, throws the figure who’s more than four times his size and weight. Five’s fats jiggle as they spin in the air, going between the recently distanced One, Three, and Kaishi. The three watch the bulbous Lord land at Four’s feet. The landed Lord asks for Four’s hand, but Four peaks up from their book for just a moment and then slides it back up, ignoring Five’s continued pleas. The two reconvene when One and Three send disembodied fists, which Kaishi shoots. As for Six and Syco, the two are engaged in hand-to-hand combat. Like with Sakhra, Syco cannot yield against the far more powerful force that is Six. Nevertheless, he’s holding his own.

Everything seems to be going well. I thought it was until I noticed the subtle look Four and Seven give to each other as Seven’s crusty fingers stroke against their chains. I feel my body revitalized. I’m glowing brighter than ever before with symbols from the ancient language I’ve grown accustomed to pulsing across my skin, so with the boost thanks to the nameless hulking figure over my shoulder, I set myself towards the suspicious Lords until I’m scolded by Bichak. “What do you think you’re doing?” The seven crystals are spinning around the small four-eyed figure who also has the same symbols across his arms and face, coloring, no longer a hideous gray. 

“Helping my friends.”

“Commander Kaishi ordered us not to get in the way. Well, you weren’t a part of the order as everyone assumed you were dead, but she’d see it best for you to stay here. Protecting these crystals until they’re ready is everyone’s priority. Besides, I’ve seen how angry she can get. So I don’t want to be on her bad side this time.” All four of his eyes side-eyed the green giant. 

I turn with the snap of One’s fingers. With it, all around us, Watchers appeared. I tried looking away to not be reminded of the atrocities I committed, but they are all around. I covered my mouth and began to quietly cry. The two enemies turned allies just looked at me, but I wasn’t expecting sympathy from either. I sure wasn’t expecting Saamuki to be enraged. Well, The Speaker is the one enraged as they punch through Watchers left and right in what I assume is them freeing the blood. 

[spunky-89]

Broken Ship P2

A/N: Heyo, it is here. The second part of my Titans!Jason Todd fic. This will be getting turned into a series that will update when my muse feels like showing up for work lol.

This chapter picks up where the last one ended. This is smut. I’ll admit this chapter was hard to write because, well I've never written smut before. Please don’t hate me if it sucks :/

Warning- smut (18+) Please don’t read if you are underage!

----------------

Up against that wall was not overly comfortable, but she didn’t care in the slightest. Quite suddenly the whole mood had turned on its side. There was a deep need and hunger settling inside that was demanding attention.

(Y/N) sensed this change when each time she panted, she was hyper-aware of her breasts rubbing against him. She could feel her nipples pebbling and she tried her best to hold her mouth closed to suppress any noises her body wanted to let out at the stimulation. As much as she was craving it, she was trying not to move the situation along too fast. But as the fates would have it, she was unsuccessful and her body shuddered in pleasure as she whimpered. 

Jason had trouble keeping his eyes on (Y/N)’s face and not her boobs that were teasing him with each panting breath she took. He was glad he was looking though, seeing her bite her lip as he felt her shudder with each breath made him proud, and all the more hungry to explore her body further. He waited a few moments, just watching her, taking in the scene, then he moved his head to start kissing her jaw and neck, testing the waters. She gasped and her hands tightened in his hair at the unexpected assault. He kept his eye on her as he pushed her harder into the wall, letting her feel the hard muscles of his chest and his obvious desire pressing between her thighs. The combination of feeling all of him and his lips kissing, biting and sucking on her neck had her breathing out a low moan as she let her hands dig into his shoulders. She felt him smirk against her skin before he brought his face in front of hers. No words were exchanged as he pulled her off the wall, locking his lips to hers as he walked towards his room. It felt like not even a second had passed before the door was closing behind them and he was pressing her into it. She was still going between gripping his face, his hair, and his shoulders as his lips continued to wander across her neck and collarbone area. As he had her against his door, a concept which both thought was extremely hot, he found the spot he was looking for. As he kissed it her breath hitched. He looked up at her face to see she was resting her head back against the door as she was biting her lip, trying to hold in any noises. His lips pulled into a grin as he prepared to make all of the noises she was holding back escape. He let his tongue slide over the spot before sucking on it. She bit back a whine as much as she could, but when he gently bit the same spot she couldn’t keep the moan from tumbling from her lips. 

“That’s what I was looking for,” Jason mumbled lowly into her neck as he kissed and sucked his way back to her lips. She tried to pull his head closer to reattach their lips but he wouldn’t let her. She let out a whine in frustration at this. 

“Don’t pout baby,” He said. (Y/N)’s whole body shivered at the deeper timber his voice took.

“Don’t tell me what to do.” (Y/N) tried to speak with her usual hint of sass and confidence, but she shocked herself as she heard her voice come out shaky, taking an almost whimpering tone.

He pulled her away from the door and laid her on the edge of his bed, his body leaning over her. “Fuck,” he murmured as he took in her form. Clothes disheveled, hair splayed around her head, face flushed, and red marks showing across her neck. He tried really hard not to lose all sense of self-control as he noticed your top and bra had shifted enough to show more of your cleavage and he groaned. She was looking up at him with her eyes blown wide with need as she was trying to pull him down to her. But he still hesitated. 

“Hey, hey, slow down baby,” He spoke as he felt her dragging him down.

Her hands stopped moving and started to withdraw from his shoulders as a look of worry and confusion took over her face. 

“Are you okay?” She asked, her eyes worried even though she was still panting and her body was flushed.

“I’m great,” He mumbled as he leaned down to rest his head on hers. She slowly put her arms around him again to let her hands loosely hold his neck.

“Then why are you stopping?” She asked, her eyes locking on his, trying to figure out what was going through his mind.

“Because I need to make sure you’re serious here. I can’t love you just to lose you.”

Her eyes shined as she looked at him. She pulled his lips to hers and this time he let her. It was a softer kiss, one meant to reassure. “I love you, Jason Todd, and I will never stop.” She swore. His eyes scanned her face finding nothing but love and honesty. With that hesitation gone, in under a second one of his hands had moved under her back to pull her up as he devoured her lips. She gasped at the sudden movement and felt Jason’s tongue re-enter her mouth, not holding anything back. His hips rolled into hers to see how she would respond, and he was pleased to see that her head flew back as a moan spilled from her lips. He took the opportunity to create more marks on her neck and he teased her with the occasional roll of his hips.

(Y/N) finally got tired of his teasing and pulled his lips back up to hers as she gave him a taste of his own medicine by wrapping her legs around his waist and rolling her hips up into his. He groaned and let a ‘fuck’ as she did so. He grabbed her again and pushed her further onto the bed until her head hit his pillows. She watched with hungry eyes as he pulled his shirt off and threw it behind him. Her hands immediately went to explore his chest and back, enjoying running her hands and nails over the muscles that were rippling as he held himself above her. He shuddered as she dragged her nails lightly down his back. 

“Your turn princess,” he mumbled lowly as he helped her sit up and fling the shirt off her head, not missing the way she shuttered at the nickname. 

At first, she was embarrassed about not having a fancy bra on, however, the way he was looking at her and the low groan he let out made her cheeks flush deeper,  and not from embarrassment. With the new skin exposed Jason got to work mouthing her breasts and sucking new marks there. It wasn’t long before (Y/N)s bra was gone too. 

The two lovers took some time to explore the new skin on each other, laying kisses or sucking marks onto each other. It wasn't as rushed as it was before. They took their time reconnecting and learning each other in a whole new way. There was love in every movement, whether it be a kiss, a tender grip, or a gentle bite on the skin. In that moment, the two lovers with tragic and harsh lives forgot everything. There was nothing outside of that moment with one another. Soon enough, the two grew impatient, wanting to continue this exploration of the soul and body.

Through the slow movements, Jason had been purposely avoiding one spot. In the few minutes of this reconnection, he had noticed that her breasts were sensitive and she seemed to have more of a reaction to stimulation.

He knew once he made that next move, there wouldn’t be this short moment where there was no rush, just two people who were madly in love exploring a new facet of their love. But he was done waiting and he slowly licked his way around her hardened nipple before lightly scraping it with his teeth. (Y/N);s breath hitched as her nails dug into his shoulder. He then took it in his mouth and started sucking while his one hand fondled the other. The girl below him moaned and whimpered as he switched from one nipple to the next. He felt her start wiggling her hips trying to find a way to get some friction but failing as Jason's body kept hers locked in place.

“Jason, baby, please,” she whined as her hands scratched his scalp and tugged on his hair. He released her one breast from his mouth with a crude pop, giving it one last lick before he lifted his head to meet hers.

“What is it? What do you want?” he asked, laying more kisses across her neck. His nose nuzzling as he went.

“Please Jay, please, stop teasing.” She whined as she gripped his shoulders.

“You mean like this?” A loud moan left her lips as Jason harshly ground his very engorged dick into her, feeling the heat that was between her legs. She started to try and grind her hips up to his but he stopped her as one hand went down to grasp (Y/N)’s ass and lift her body closer to his.

He looked into her eyes and asked: “Are you sure about this?”

She wrapped her legs around his waist once more and harshly rolled her hips into his. “No, I’d much rather leave all hot and bothered to go get myself off in the shower, using whatever I can find to satisfy my throbbing pussy.”

“Don’t get smart with me princess,”

“Or what?” She asked, surprised at the breathless tone she had.

“I guess you’ll find out,” Jason growled as he expertly flipped her over, face in the pillows as her ass was in the air. Jason quickly rid (Y/N) of her bottoms. And after discovering the sexy thong she had on, he groaned again and started toying with the waistband. He leaned over so his head was next to (Y/N)’s and growled out, “What’s with the thong princess?”

She tried to answer, but nothing came out as a string of moans and whines left her lips. He kept playing with the band of her panties and kissing her neck. As much as he was ready to finally fuck her, he was enjoying teasing her. Loving the way (Y/N)s sassy ‘don’t tell me what to do’ attitude faded away and left her whimpering under him. She was squirming like crazy, trying to get him to do anything, but he didn’t give in. Sure he was never a patient guy, but he somehow found the strength to hold out. When the only things coming from her lips was his name and incoherent words that turned into moans and whimpers, he smirked and got off the bed.

(Y/N)s head whipped around to face him. Seeing him smirking at her she glared as she sat up on her knees. Her eyes were daring him to try and pull some shit on her. 

He kept smirking as he kicked his shoes off and yanked his pants and socks off. (Y/N)s breathing stopped for a moment. With just a tight pair of briefs, she could see everything. She shuttered and let out a high pitched moan. He climbed back on the bed and she backed up as he did so. They stopped as he was once again on top of her, his hands resting on either side of her head. 

“Last chance (n/n),” Jason breathed, staring deep into the eyes of the girl he’d been in love with since he was 10.

She took a moment to stare up at him. Taking in his features in a new light. She never cared about looks, she wasn’t that kind of girl. Sure he was handsome when they were young, but that never mattered to her. To her, he was just her best friend that she didn’t realize she loved until it was too late. Now, four years later, he was sexy as hell and she knew she loved him. She realized that when she was with the two other guys she briefly dated, she didn’t keep the relationship because she compared them to Jason. Both guys had similar looks to Jason, which is what attracted her to them, but they weren’t him. None of them knew her like he did, and the one boyfriend who got this far with her didn’t give her even a tenth of the pleasure she was feeling, and Jason hadn’t even really begun.

“I’m in if you are.” She finally breathed, the tension hanging thick and the desire burning red hot.

“Fuck I love you,” Jason spoke as he dove down and captured her lips again. One had stayed beside her head and the other started snaking down her body to where the thin strip of material stopped his hand from meeting her skin. Lucky for him, he didn’t have to feel under her panties to notice how wet she was. The small patch of fabric that kept her pussy from his eyes was soaked through. He pulled back from her lips as his hand dipped under the thong and his hand came into contact with her oozing pussy. She whined as she felt his feather-light touch. She tried to wiggle her bottom half to get him to press more firmly where she needed him most, but she should have figured he wouldn’t just give her what she wanted. He retracted his hand and gave her a dark and sexy look as he pulled back to look down at her. 

“I’ve barely started and you’re already soaked princess.” His voice deep and laced with desire. 

“Please, no more teasing,” (Y/N) begged, she was so desperate for him she didn’t care what she had to do to make him stop teasing and start actually doing something.

He didn’t verbally respond, but the ripping of lace spoke for him. She lifted her head from the pillow to see if he had done what she thought he just did, and her thoughts were confirmed when she saw him toss the now torn lace thong off the bed. Just as she was going to say something about it, his fingers came into contact with her dripping pussy and the words died on her lips. 

“Now, I’m not very experienced, but from your whines, I’d say I’m doing pretty well.” He spoke, his mouth coming down to speak into her ear. “Wouldn’t you?” He asked as a finger brushed her clit.

Her mouth opened but no sound came out as she threw her head back. Jason leaned back again and watched her face become consumed with pleasure. He wasn’t lying when he said he didn’t have much experience. He did get around a bit at school. Girls flocked to him, being Bruce Wayne’s ward and his bad-boy vibes. So he knew what to do, but he cared a lot more about (Y/N) than any of the other girls he slept with. Because she wasn’t just a rich heiress who wanted to rebel against mommy and daddy. No. This was (Y/N), the woman he loved. 

But he covered up his insecurities with attitude and false bravado. Which she usually saw right through, but couldn’t discern in her current mindset. She was much too focused on the pleasure she was receiving. 

She heard his comment but didn’t believe him because oh my gods she was a goner. She was feeling things she thought only happened in shitty romance books and chick-flicks. He was going slow, she wasn’t sure if it was for his sake or hers, but she didn’t care. His soft strokes were not enough, she wanted more. And as always, she didn’t have to say a word. Somehow, he just knew. So when he gently slid a finger in, she gave a high pitched whine of contentment. 

She wasn’t sure if it was hours or minutes until she felt that deep coil start to tighten. Jason was now thrusting two fingers in and out and a rapid pace while his thumb rolled her sensitive bundle. 

“J-J..Jaaaayyyyy…” She whined, her hand gripping the wrist of his hand that was buried in her pussy.

“What is it princess? Are you close? I can feel you squeezing my fingers.” He spoke, the deep tone and pet name making her whine and wiggle more.

“I’ll take that as a yes then,” He chuckled and slipped a third finger in. She squealed loudly and with a few more thrusts and a well-timed stroke to her clit, she was coming around his fingers, moaning his name. Her body was thrashing and she was letting out a stream of curses and moans as he worked her through her orgasm. As she started to calm, he withdrew his now dripping fingers and sucked them one by one, groaning at the taste of her. This made her whimper again. He moaned as he finished cleaning his fingers. “Fuck baby, you taste better then I could’ve imagined.” He scooted back and spread (Y/N)s thighs, going in to lick a long firm stripe up her still leaking vagina. He moaned as he did so, sending vibrations through (Y/N)s core. Her back arched and her hands went down to grip Jason’s hair. This he had never done, but he didn’t care. He was drunk on the taste of her. He just did what he thought he should, let his body take over. He got more confident and bold as he heard (Y/N)s moans reach different pitches. He was quickly learning where and what to do based on the noises she made, the tightness of her fingers, and the way she moved her body. He always knew how to read her body and knew her tells, but he found a completely new way to use this knowledge.

He ended up needing to hold her hips down as she was moving too much. Her hands didn’t stop though. She was tugging and scratching his scalp. He wouldn’t be surprised if his head was bald and bloody after this.

“Jaaaaaay, baby, ple-please.” (Y/N) tried to speak, but was interrupted by her own noises.

Jason pulled his head up slightly to look at her. As she saw his face glistening with her juices she whimpered and tried to wiggle her hips. She was disappointed when she couldn’t do so with his hands keeping a strong grip on her thighs and hips.

He licked his lips and looked (Y/N) directly in the eyes. She had to use all of her willpower to not just whine and let him do whatever he wanted for as long as he wanted. But she could feel herself building up again and she wanted this to last a bit longer.

“What is it princess?” His tone was sexy and low, but his eyes shone with worry. As soon as she uttered a simpering “Please,”, he knew there was nothing wrong and allowed his signature smirk to overtake his features.

“Please what?” he asked as he gently licked up her pussy again.

“Need-need you.” She whined, losing all sense of control as he continued to lap at her dripping core. 

He chuckled against her core and she shivered and whined at the feeling. “You already have me,” he said lowly.

She used all of her strength to pull his head up and make him look at her. She was panting but had one goal in mind and she’d be damned if she didn’t make it known. One eyebrow raised as he looked at her flushed form. If she didn’t say something soon, he wasn’t going to be able to stop himself from pounding into her until both of them passed out.

“I need you, Jason.” She spoke finally. “If you answer with some bullshit again I will walk out of this room and-” her harsh words were cut off by him sitting up and leaning over her again, pulling her leg to his waist as he gave a gentle thrust of his hips against her core. The drag of his clothed cock had (Y/N) moaning as she lifted her hips to keep the friction going.

He stopped her once more, “We can still stop if you want.” 

“Jason I need you nooow,” She whined.

“Maybe I just want to continue with what I was doing.” He challenged, he expected a witty remark but was surprised by her once again.

She looked deep into his eyes and quickly rolled them over. “There’s time for that later.” She breathed as she lifted her hips off of his and started working his underwear off. He didn’t resist her, still too shocked that she switched modes so quickly. He did, however, notice the way her breath hitched and the small whine that slipped from her lips as she released his cock. She looked up at Jason and kept eye contact as she licked the tip of his dick. Jason let out a little groan and she smiled mischievously. She wanted to make sure she teased him the same way he had done to her. So she slowly licked from his base to his tip, and then she did it again, then one more time for her own enjoyment, making sure to swirl her tongue around his leaking tip each time. She was grinding her core against the sheets, trying to maintain some pleasure for herself. She was enjoying herself and relishing in the power she now had over him. Jason picked up on that, and as much as he knew she’d look great on top of him, he was too impatient for that right now. He pulled her forward so her vagina was right over his cock and she whined as she rapidly started grinding on him, shivering at the skin on skin contact. 

“As sexy as this is princess,” Jason started, rolling them again to have her under him, “I don’t think I can wait anymore.” He panted out.

“Then take me,” She breathed back, the moment slowing and calming from that rush and teasing. She wrapped her one hand around the side of his neck and kissed him deep and slow. Breaking away for only a moment, she breathed against his lips; “I’ve always been yours,”

Jason let his forehead rest against (Y/N)s, the moment still. He opened his eyes and he saw the way her usually bright eyes were darker, pupils blown with lust. He also noticed the way they shone with adoration. He brought his lips back to hers as he guided himself into her. He tried to be slow and gentle, but the moment his cock entered her wet and clenching hole, he lost control. The kiss was broken by (Y/N) throwing her head back and moaning loudly as he thrust all the way into her. He stilled, feeling her wince slightly as he entered. He peppered her neck with kisses in the meantime. As her walls fluttered around his member, he felt her breathing return to a more stable panting, no longer tinged with pain. When her hands gripped his shoulders and she slowly rolled her hips again, he gripped her hips and slowly slid himself out, only to push in slowly. He kept his thrusts deep, albeit too slow, and made sure to pay attention to her body.

She dug her nails and threw her head back at the sensation. She adored the sensual and passionate vibes, it was better than the harsh fucking she was expecting. She brought her hands up to his neck as she brought her head forward to kiss him long and slow. Love and tenderness filled the room. When she broke away, their lips stayed touching as she stared into his deep green/blue eyes. She felt at peace for the first time in her life.

A/N :Let me know how bad this was and if you want to read more of this story

[duker42]

Can i plz request yandere levi x shy reader where levi just finds her almost starving to death in the underground city but he’s just amazed by her beauty and shyness and becomes possessive over her and stuff but the reader is just quite and submissive to levi so levi decides to take care of her even after he becomes a captain he keeps her next to him all the time fluff and smut plzz (i hope my request wasn’t too much and thank youu sooo much for all the stories you write your writing is amazing)

Sorry it has taken me so long!!!! Thank you! I’m so glad you enjoy it!

*****WARNING*****NSFW

💜Forever💜

The first time Levi saw Y/N she was half staved and huddled in an alley. He had been about to pass her by, there were plenty of homeless kids wasting away in the Underground. She looked up dejectedly and he caught a glimpse of her face.

She was beautiful. Even dirty as she was, her eyes captivated him. He had thought she was younger when he pulled her to her feet and pulled her away from the filth and despair of that narrow alley.

She didn’t speak the entire way to his house. Every time Levi looked back she averted her eyes from him shyly. He knew she was curious about this, was wary of him, but her timidity provoked something protective in him.

It wasn’t until he had drawn a bath and ordered to to strip those dirty rags off did he discover she was more woman than child. The baggy clothes had hidden a beautiful albeit malnourished figure of a woman, her breasts small but high. Her hips bony but had the feminine curve Levi liked. With decent meals, she would be stunning.

Over the course of the days to follow, he found himself more and more possessive of her. Isabel and Farlan has teased him, but Levi refused to let Y/N sleep anywhere other than his room. He had already decided she was his woman.

When they were captured by the Survey Corps, Levi had nearly killed the one to touch Y/N. When he finally yielded to Erwin, his one stipulation that Y/N was to stay with him at all times.

The day Isabel and Farlan died, Y/N had been by Levi’s side, him unwilling to let her out of his sight for a moment while outside of the walls. In the end it was her salvation as their entire squad was wiped out, their friends killed.

~~~~~

“And this is Y/N. Before you get any ideas about hitting on her, she’s Captain Levi’s second in command, but most importantly she’s his woman.” Ness explained to the incoming recruits that had chosen to join the Survey Corps.

Y/N smiled and took the cadets from there, showing them the various areas of the base that they would utilizing, all while very aware of a pair of grey eyes watching carefully.

When she got back to their quarters that night, she smiled as she entered the room, the bath was already running.

She quietly stripped off her clothes, placing them in the dirty bin as she moved to join Levi.

“Strip down, brat.” Levi looked up and smirked. She was so good, already anticipating what was to come.

He lead her into the bath and began to wash her, sitting behind her in the hot water. As his hands and the soapy rag trailed over her skin, he asked his question.

“Find anyone better among those brats?” His voice was gruff, the vulnerability behind them lost in his tone.

“No, Levi. No one could be better than you.” Y/N murmured, aware that his jealousy had come out to play. It happened every time new Scouts were brought in. He would be careful to make sure that no one bothered her, his own personal brand of possessiveness.

He scooped water over her hair and lathered it up, enjoying the soft sighs of contentment that came from her. He wasn’t stupid, he knew that Y/N was aware of his need to control. Her own submission being a perfect fit for the pair. He would calm down once those brats were aware they shouldn’t fuck with what was his.

His cock hardened against her back, just like it always did when she was in his arms. Tonight would be passionate and rough, his marks clear for all to see throughout the day. Y/N didn’t seem to mind, letting him do whatever pleased him.

He started with her neck, harshly biting and sucking the skin. A combination of red blood blisters and purple bruises left in his mouths wake. Both sides were marked up for the world to see, hard to hide beneath her uniform shirt, not that he would let her.

His hand slithered down to reach in between her legs, pleased to find her already slick like always. Two fingers swiftly pierced her core, drawling a delicious gasp from her as her head fell back against his shoulder.

As her one and only lover, the past ten years of sex had taught him everything about her body, no portion of her left unexplored.

As he pumped those fingers in and out, his other hand came up to roughly palm a breast, his calloused hands causing her to shudder against him. Pinching and pulling the nipple, she jolted, causing water to splash out of the tub.

He picked her up and sat her down on his cock unceremoniously, her arched back and throaty cry signifying her pleasure at his invasion. He hiss at the tight feel of her around him, the walls pulsing around him enchantingly. She also knew what he liked after so long and began to flex around him.

He began to thrust up, his hands on her hips, directed her pace as the water splashed all around them. He didn’t give a shit about the mess at that moment, just his and the woman in his arms pleasure. She arched against him, her breasts thrust in his face as she put her arms around his neck.

He latched on to her chest, nipping and sucking wherever his mouth could may purchase, happily marking her skin as his. She was his obsession, a fever in his blood that even if he knew how to cure it, he didn’t want to.

For long minutes the room was filled with the sounds of splashing water and her moans rising above it. His grunts were quieter, muffled by her skin and his own need to let her voice ring out louder. Her hips circled over his waist, riding him like the siren she was.

He throbbed as she pulsed, their motions and pace in sync as they crested the wave of pleasure together. Her walls tightened around him, as he pushed into her deeper. Her cry was loud, his name ripping from her throat for anyone nearby to hear. He gasped as he came, teeth clamping down on her shoulder, his hand pulling her down against him harder as he rose to meet her. He released deep inside her, marking her again as his.

One day when those shitty Titans were gone, he would plant a child in her belly, maybe. He didn’t know if he was willing to share her, even with a child of their making.

Holding her against him, he whispered. “I love you, Y/N. You’re mine. Forever.”

He smiled against her neck as she whispered back. “Forever, Levi.”

Mobile MasterList

[headquarters90]

Following Through (Warrior of the Source 16)

Pairing: Darkiplier x French Goddess!Reader, Reader x Original Characters (Platonic/Family), Reader x Greek Gods/Goddesses!Characters

Words: 2,353 words

Warnings: Possible angst, depending on how you look at it

A/N: Hey guys! So, this is being uploaded on my birthday so happy birthday to me. This is almost over! Just one more part. However, the series is not over! There will be a sequel series, still thinking of a name of it but stay tuned for it!

Series Masterlist

The only noise that filled the air the pacing steps of a Monstre and Dark constantly sent him annoyed looks as he stood with his back against a wall and his arms crossed.

“Will you just sit?” hissed the entity and Sébastian whipped around to raise an eyebrow at him. “Your pacing is annoying.”

“The fact you are still here surprises me. Maybe we are wrong about you,” Sébastian offered, watching as the entity’s eyes narrowed at him.

“You must be the Monstre of Annoyance,” Dark muttered.

“Actually, Monstre of Wisdom and Warcraft but that’s a close second,” he chipped, walking up to the bed you rested on.

Dark snorted at the response, carefully watching the Monstre lift his hand to brush against your cheek. He felt the same annoyance he felt when Ares had made an appearance, the same annoyance that showed when Apollo spoke a line that others side wasn’t far from what you once said.

The emotions he felt was no doubt because of the Mark – or maybe it wasn’t. He had lied when he said that you didn’t hide the book quick enough. You did for him not to read but during your avoidance of him, he had gone searching for you, discovering the book. That was when he decided to send Anti out to fetch you.

“I would watch the jealousy, Dark.”

His eyes shot to the Monstre who held a knowing smirk on his lips and a scowl found its way onto Dark’s.

“I wonder how much energy Ivy would get from you.”

“Like she would dare come near here,” Dark scoffed and Sébastian raised an eyebrow at the entity before glancing at your sleeping form. “Who is she not friends with,” he deadpanned and the Monstre titled his head towards the ceiling in thought.

“A majority of angels, God, Jesus, the Monstres, the Titans, any pantheon that isn’t Greek or French...well, she might be okay with the Norse pantheon. That’s half of who Julie is. But then-”

“I get it,” Dark spoke dryly as his eyes fell on you. Somehow, he wasn’t surprised that you were friends with anyone in Hell. You lived in the French Underworld after all and visited the Greek one whenever.

“But then again,” Sébastian continued and Dark looked at him in annoyance, “she treats everyone as her equal so saying she’s friends with everyone isn’t the correct term. She’s friendly with everyone. She’s only friends with those she has a connection with or helps her get an advantage on certain aspects – like going to war against William.”

“Get an advantage?”

“Lucifer’s General, for example,” Sébastian stated. “While the General had gone through a lot, Y/N doesn’t consider her a close friend but, because of the General’s abilities and-”

“Her ranking-”

“No, and because of her leading the Hellhounds,” the Monstre corrected. “The Hellhounds are very talented beings themselves.”

“Then Ivy must be like that as well.”

“Ivy is a close friend. Someone she can talk too if she couldn’t find herself to talk to Angel or André since they share a similar past. Julie is a close friend as well but those two are similar in personality so it was expected.”

Dark’s eyes fell on you as the information processed. It made sense, thinking back at the mention of what you called the War and who Ares was. It seemed like you took on him as your lover during the War, giving you an advantage. Sounded like something he would do.

“How are you feeling, Y/N?” Sébastian questioned as Dark watched you sit up with a grimace, rubbing your forehead.

“Like I got hit by a truck.”

“You look it, Goddess,” Dark claimed and he raised an eyebrow as your eyes turned to his, surprise filling them. He knew why too. He stayed. “Don’t look so surprised. No one would take me back.”

Sébastian raised an eyebrow at the entity but made no comment as he placed a hand on your forehead with a soft hum.

“Dark, go get Hades.”

“Why the hell do I have too?”

“Just do it.”

Dark grumbled under his breath as he shot the Monstre an annoyed look before walking out the door.

~

“We can’t just sit around and wait anymore,” Makaria spoke. “We shouldn’t be giving them the element of surprise. Haven’t they learned enough yet?”

“I’m all ready for this to be done and over with, daughter, but we have no choice,” Hades spoke. “We have no idea on a location to even give us an element of surprise.”

“Like Y/N and Hecate couldn’t pinpoint the location!”

“Makaria,” Hades warned, his eyes glancing at you from across the way. “I don’t think Y/N would deem them ready anyways.”

“Bella-”

“We all know Y/N is supposed to have the Crown,” Bellatrix added. “Your father does not bare the mark on his shoulder like the rest of the lovers. I’m not supposed to have the Crown.”

“We all know but her,” Iris butted in. “But Makaria is right. He’s already attacked Y/N.”

“Which, by the way, happened last time. The only difference is that he didn’t kidnap her. He revealed himself in front of her and Dark, found a way to distract, and did it,” Angel pointed out and the others agreed. “However, the only other two that would deem it would be Isabelle and Trystan.”

“Why them?”

“Because they know how William is,” you spoke as you joined them, only having caught the beginning and ending of the conversation. “However, we could always-”

“Don’t even finish that sentence,” Hades warned as Angel pursed her lips. “It is not a good idea.”

“Actually-”

“No.”

“Hades, if you just-”

“Not happening.”

“Hades-”

“No.”

“Stop being an overbearing parent,” Bellatrix deadpanned as you turned your head to meet Dark’s gaze as he entered the room. “At least let her explain the idea before turning it down.”

“Dark would agree with me!”

“Why am I being brought into something?” the entity questioned and Hades’ eyes shifted towards him. “Was the Goddess the only one who realized I entered?”

“Yes,” Emma spoke as she turned to look at him. “Maybe Angel as well but Y/N is able to sense presences.”

“I didn’t use the ability,” you spoke.

“He knows,” Angel added and you nodded. “Anyways, it doesn’t matter if he would agree with you or not, Hades. She has a right to explain why and how it would work.”

“Ah, yes, let’s just give William what he wants. Without backup. Without anyone there to make sure she doesn’t fall to her panic attacks,” Hades spoke sarcastically and you raised an eyebrow.

“I’d have backup.”

“Ah, yes, because we will be so far.”

“For one, Sébastian is bound to me, Hades, and if you are so worried, Dark can turn me in.”

“What?” Dark demanded and you turned to look at him. “Do you realize how much you prove to be as foolish as I believed?”

“No, no, that could work,” André butted in. “He has your man, the whole reason why you were pulled into this mess in the first place. Turn in the Goddess he wants to get the man you claim you need.”

“And Sébastian can stay with you guys and I can call upon him when needed,” you added as Dark stared at you. “Damon can even send word! They haven’t caught on that he’s with us yet.”

“Do you know how cliché this all sounds?” Isabelle questioned before a sigh left her lips. “We need reinforcements again.”

“We have three armies willing to back us up,” Trystan pointed out. “Four,” André corrected. “Lucifer’s, Hades’, ours, and Ivy’s.”

“Right, true Sins. You’re right,” Angel agreed.

“And Hellhounds,” you added. “So, it wouldn’t just be Lucifer but Michael and Cadel as well.”

“It’s suicide,” Hades spoke with a sigh.

“But it would be something I would come up with. On one condition. Dark holds onto the ring.”

“Why the hell do I need to hold onto a ring? I didn’t agree to the damn plan either,” Dark deadpanned and you looked at him, watching emotions flash through his eyes.

“William knows Sébastian resides in the ring. If you have it, then he’ll think nothing of it and you’ll go along with it.” Hades waved him off.

“Says who?”

“She does.”

“I do?”

“You really suck at being assertive,” Hades deadpanned as you looked at him and you shrugged in response, a grin playing on your lips for a moment before turning back towards Dark.

“You can leave as soon as you have your man. Sébastian will take you home and you’ll never have to deal with us again.”

“Y/N-” Juliette started and you held up a hand, glancing over your shoulder at her before returning your gaze to Dark.

You watched as emotions passed through his eyes once more before the annoyance set in and he clenched his teeth.

“Very well.” He held his hand out and you stared at it for a moment before removing your necklace, dropping it in his hand. “Have the fool send word in an hour.”

You watched as the entity closed his fist around your necklace before he turned, the sound of his footsteps echoed through the room as he left.

“Y/N-”

“I don’t want to hear it.” The room fell silent after that.

~

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Angel questioned softly as she tied rope around your wrist gently, her eyes glancing over your shoulder and you followed her gaze to the dark entity speaking to Anti. “You should tell him-”

“It doesn’t matter,” you cut her off, shaking your head as you returned your eyes to hers. “Worst comes to worst, I’ll choose Apollo. Apollo’s a better fit for the rest of us anyways.”

“Don’t do the better fit, Y/N,” she warned with a scowl on her lips. “We may not like him and he may be one of the biggest assholes-”

“Angel-”

“-we know but if he makes you happy, that’s what matters.”

Lifting your tied wrists, you placed your hands on your sister’s cheek to the best of your ability before placing your forehead against hers.

“Your kindness is showing, sissy,” you teased softly before you lifted your head to place a kiss against her forehead. “I want to make up for the years you didn’t have your older sister.”

“I always had her,” Angel grinned wickedly. “I mean, who else would I beat at sparring?”

You stuck your tongue out at her before dropping your hands, following her to the others as Damon returned beside Pierre.

“He sends a location,” Damon spoke, holding a piece of paper out to Dark who took it with a scowl. “He’s surprised but pleased. He said something about a lover betraying a Warrior.”

A snort left your lips as you shifted on your feet, your eyes glancing at those around you before landing on the entity beside you.

“Let’s just get this over with,” the entity muttered, showing you the writing on the paper before handing it off to Anti.

“As soon as his man is handed over and you have the chance, Y/N,” Hades warned as he plucked the paper from the glitchy entity. “I mean it.”

“I know.”

“Go.”

Feeling a hand placed on your shoulder, you glanced at Dark before looking away, scrunching your nose at the sight of William, Décembre, and Monique standing by an entity with a pink mustache – Wilford Warfstache.

“There’s not even a chain around her neck. And here I thought it was a ploy to attack,” Monique mused as she tilted her head to the side. “Hello, granddaughter.”

Your lips stay shut as your eyes dropped to the floor, forcing a deep breath out of you to attempt to look as though you’re about to panic. Maybe having Dark do this was a bad idea. You felt as calm as you did before when he stood beside you. You should be panicking. Your hands are bound and before you stood the whole reason for your mental issues, for your nightmares. They’re expecting panic.

“Like those fools would danger this idiotic Goddess,” Dark spoke, his eyes rolling. “Give me Warstache.”

“The Goddess first.”

“I’m no fool,” Dark deadpanned, crossing his arms. “There’s no doubt you’ve had the pink fool do your bidding and that you’d like to keep him. The same reason I want him back. The idiot first.”

Décembre’s eyes stayed on the two of you and you knew why. He was God of Knowledge and Learning. If anyone can figure out the plan, it was him but you were his student prior to his betrayal. You knew how to lead him on.

“Clever. No wonder you’re a possible lover,” William hummed before placing a hand on Wilford’s shoulder.

“I wouldn’t do that, sir,” Décembre spoke quickly and you fought yourself from tensing.

“Is he blocked?”

“Is who blocked?” Dark gave a dull look to the God who glanced at you. “The annoying Monstre? Made sure of it. Isn’t that right, Goddess?”

A wince left your lips at the slight tug of your hair, lifting your head and your eyes met his. He hadn’t tugged hard, the wince more of one of surprise than anything.

“Yes.”

The word was quiet as it left your lips and you watched a quick emotion pass his eyes before he covered it up, dropping your head as he looked back at those before them.

“Give him here.”

You watched from behind your hair as Wilford stumbled forward, his comments confusing you as he spoke to Dark as he reached him.

“Now, the Goddess,” William demanded and Dark looked at him, tilting his head to the side. “We had a deal.”

“I would think someone like you would know better,” Dark spoke as you lifted your head, hearing the quiet clinking of your ring moving on a chain – did he just-

“You fool!” Monique hissed, her hand lifting and you found yourself breaking the rope to throw a shield up before them, blocking the attack.

Sébastian, now would be a good idea.

Coming, Y/N. 

[pikapeppa]

Fenris/f!Hawke and the Inquisition: Trust

After a long and tiring week, chapter 47 of Lovers In A Dangerous Time (i.e. Fenris the Inquisitor) is up on AO3! 

This is my take on The Descent DLC. I refused to novelize it, and instead I took an excuse to write a lot of FRIENDSHIP FENSHIP BANTER between FennyFen and Dorian, Bull, Blackwall, Cole, and Varric. Oh, and as usual, some sappy sap with Rynne, because I am trash.

Read the whole thing on AO3; only the first bit is here (>9800 words). 

****************

Four months after Corypheus’s death…

Fenris felt empty.

He took a deep, slow breath to fortify himself, but it was futile. The battle with that lyrium-studded guardian creature had left him feeling horribly depleted, as though he’d been sucked dry of more than just his stamina. He was loathe to admit it, but he knew what this particular kind of exhaustion likely meant. 

He’d been using his lyrium tattoos too much. 

I had no choice, he thought tiredly. The monster guarding the Titan’s heart had been a horrific challenge to fight: a completely unfamiliar enemy powered by the incessant strength of the lyrium veins that flowed to and from this cavernous space. There was a very real moment during the fight when Fenris had feared they would fail to overpower the stone-and-lyrium beast. Bull and Blackwall had both taken a number of lashings from the monster’s flailing stone tentacles and were starting to slow down. Dorian had gotten struck by an unfortunately-timed blast of lyrium-powered energy and was crumpled against a wall trying to catch his breath while Varric guarded him. Hawke, meanwhile, had gotten trapped in a corner behind her own barrier, unable to emerge without getting struck by one of the guardian’s writhing rock limbs. Cole was hovering near her, hidden by the Veil and trying valiantly to find a way to help her slip free, but he too was effectively trapped. Fenris, meanwhile, was wearing himself thin using his own lyrium flares and the magic in his left palm to try and quell the monstrous stone beast.

It was a lucky strike that had ultimately saved them. Blackwall had lunged forward and smashed his shield against one of the guardian monster’s lyrium nodes, stalling its lashing limbs for a moment. Only then had the rest of their group realized that the lyrium nodes were not only the monster’s source of strength, but the sole reason it was animated at all — a realization that finally allowed them to freeze and to weaken the creature until Dorian and Hawke could blast it into a harmless pile of rubble. 

Fenris turned to Valta, who was watching them all with an unnervingly beatific smile. “You’re certain you’ll be all right down here?” he asked. 

“I will,” she said. “I have my stone sense, and now so much more. I’ll be safe.” She lifted her chin and closed her eyes serenely. “The song calls me here, like a lullaby to a child. This is where I belong.”

He nodded. Truthfully, he didn’t have the capacity to argue with Valta about this. The earthquakes had stopped, and Orzammar was no longer at risk of collapsing, either physically or financially. If Valta wanted to remain here in this strange subterranean fog-encrusted forest with only the Sha-Brytol for company, that was her prerogative.

 “Farewell, then,” he said.

She gave him another calm smile. “Farewell, Inquisitor. And thank you again for escorting me here.”

He nodded once more, then turned to Hawke. Her face was pale and her posture slumped, and he was certain that he didn’t look much better.

He reached for her. “Come,” he said. “Let’s make our way back to the surface.”

She gave him a wan smile as she took his hand, and Dorian sighed in relief. “Finally,” he exclaimed. “I can’t speak for the rest of you, but I could certainly use some sun.” 

His voice was rough with exhaustion as well, and Fenris spared him a look of concern. Bull seemed to hear it too, as he tucked Dorian against his side as they started toward the nearest stairs. 

“Afraid you’ll lose your tan, big guy?” he teased. 

Dorian sniffed in disdain. “I’ll have you know this tan is entirely natural, no sun needed. I will admit that this lurid blue light isn’t doing my complexion any favours, however, fascinating though it might be.” His eyes flicked over the brightly glowing lyrium veins that snaked across the stone walls and pillars in an intricate web of branching lines. 

Fenris’s gaze traced over the lyrium veins as well. Titan blood, he thought, and a shiver of revulsion ran down his spine. That’s what was embedded under his skin: the blood of these huge ancient creatures whose existence had been struck entirely from the Wall of Memories in Orzammar. That’s what held his former magic captive on his body: blood. Blue and incandescent blood, perhaps, but blood nonetheless. 

Blood magic. That’s what his lyrium marks were, quite literally. That’s what he was using every time he clenched his fist and brought these marks to life. Every time he phased across a battlefield, every time he lashed out at his enemies with a burst of lyrium-bolstered power, every time he plucked a pulsing heart from an enemy’s chest: every single time, he’d been using blood magic. 

Oblivious to his internal anguish, the others were continuing to chat tiredly as they made their way up the stairs and back toward the nearest camp. Varric sighed. “Well, this’ll be a fun one for Fenris to explain to good old Orzammar.” 

Dorian scoffed. “I can only imagine,” he said, and he launched into a mocking little dialogue. “‘Inquisitor, what happened to our dear ex-Shaper?’ ‘Sorry, King Dwarf, but we left her there.’ ‘Left her where?’ ‘Oh, you know, inside of the enormous stone creature that your entire civilization seems to have forgotten.’”

Bull scratched his chin. “Maybe Fenris should sit on this information for a while. Think it over before sharing it with the boys down below.”

Dorian gave him an incredulous look. “We spend nearly two weeks wandering through the Deep Roads in the company of their people, and you think we can return to the surface without telling them anything?”

“I’m not saying that,” Bull said mildly. “We give them a report, of course. Tell them their mines are safe and their earthquakes are solved, and hold on to the rest of it until we can decide how to use it to our advantage.”

Blackwall frowned. “That’s dishonest. Orzammar asked for our help. We should tell them what we learned.”

Varric shot him a small smile. “Wow, hero. You really are done with politics and the Game, aren’t you?”

“It’s not about politics,” Blackwall said gruffly. “It’s about doing what’s right.” He waved at their surroundings. “This is far bigger than they thought when they asked us to fight the darkspawn. Maker’s balls, it was more than we bargained for when we came down here to fight.” He looked at Varric. “They should know what’s hidden under all their cities, don’t you think?” 

Varric twisted his lips ruefully. “Honestly? I don’t know if it’s a great idea. ‘Real’ dwarves think they know exactly who they are and exactly how far back their bloodlines go. Telling them that something this huge was struck from the Memories… They’ll have to rethink everything they thought they knew about how great they are. They’re not going to like that.” He shook his head. “Makes me glad I’m a topsider.” 

Dorian looked at him in surprise. “You think they shouldn’t know, then? Just because they won’t like what they hear?”

Varric grimaced. “All I’m saying is that it’ll change everything for them.”

“That’s no reason not to reveal the past,” Dorian said. “In fact, some might say it’s exactly why they should know.”

Varric raised an eyebrow. “We still talking about dwarves, Sparkler? Or are we talking about a different group of people who think they know exactly who they are and how far back their bloodlines go?”

Dorian paused, then sighed. “Maybe I am. Touché, my hairy friend.”

They all fell quiet as they continued up the seemingly interminable path to the camp, and Fenris was grateful; the higher they walked, the more fatigued he felt, and it was taking all of his attention to simply place one foot in front of the other. 

Hawke, meanwhile, had been uncharacteristically silent during the trek. Fenris shot her a sideways look. “Are you all right?” he murmured.

She nodded. “Just tired. Looking forward to a bedroll and a nice warm fire.” She gave him a feeble smile, but it swiftly melted into concern.

She squeezed his hand. “Are you all right? You don’t look well.”

He shook his head. “I’ll be fine.” He kept on walking, putting one foot in front of the other, ignoring the unpleasant spinning sensation in his head and the feeling of emptiness that was sucking at his veins.

Keep going, he thought doggedly. It couldn’t be that much farther to the camp. They’d been walking for at least ten minutes already. 

He tripped on a step and stumbled to his hands and knees with a grunt, and Hawke fell to her knees beside him. “Fenris,” she breathed. 

“Shit,” Varric exclaimed. “Are you guys okay?”

Fenris didn’t reply. He stared blearily Hawke’s face. Venhedis, she looked so tired and wan.

She stroked his cheek, but her cold and trembling fingers were no comfort. “Fenris,” she said shakily, “you’re overext–”

“I’m fine,” he said loudly. He didn’t want the others to hear her, even if what she was suggesting was true. Besides, there was no point harping on it; there was nothing to be done. It wasn’t like he could take a lyrium draught for this, not that they had much lyrium potion to spare. 

What he really needed was rest, and to have that, he needed to get to the blasted camp. 

Dorian and Varric were crouching anxiously beside them while Cole hovered over Hawke’s shoulder. Fenris ignored them all and gently pulled Hawke’s hand away from his face. “Let’s keep moving,” he said, and he tried to push himself upright. 

His hand slipped out from underneath him. The next thing he knew, he was lying on his back and the sky was spinning above him — no, not the sky, because that would mean they were outside in the open air… 

“Fenris!” Hawke’s voice was sharp and worried now. When her face appeared above his own, he could see the fear reflected in her blurry features. 

He didn’t want her to be scared. He wanted to tell her not to worry, but he was so tired that he couldn’t open his mouth to speak. He was so tired that he couldn’t even keep his blasted eyelids open. 

Her trembling palm pressed gently against his forehead, and he shivered. Why were her hands so cold? 

“Hawke, what’s wrong with him?” Blackwall asked anxiously.

Dorian’s reply was taut with concern. “He’s… kaffas, does he have a fever? He looks almost like he’s—”

Hawke cut him off. “I’ve got it,” she said brusquely. Then her cool fingertips were pressing against Fenris’s temples. 

Don’t, Fenris thought. He forced his eyes open. He knew what she was about to do; he’d seen Anders do this for her a handful of times, and he’d seen her do this for Anders once or twice as well. But healing an overextended mage was a drain on the healer’s mana, and Hawke was already so depleted… 

He stared at her desperately. Stop, he tried to say, but he couldn’t move his tongue. Already her eyes were closed, and a cool pulse of magic was leaking from her fingers into his temples.

“Hawke, be careful with this,” Varric warned.

“With what?” Blackwall demanded. “What is she doing? What’s going on?”

Fenris tried to pull away, but he couldn’t move his head. He tried to glare at her, to forbid her from continuing with the look on his face, but he had no idea if his face was even moving, and his eyes were falling shut once more…

A minute later – or maybe it was five, or fifty? – the soothing pulse of her magic disappeared, and a heavy weight landed on his chest: it seemed that Hawke had collapsed on top of him. A dull spike of horror shot through his belly, but he still couldn’t open his eyes.

“Damn it,” Varric hissed. 

“Vashedan,” Bull grunted. “Blackwall, get over here, let’s pick them up. We’ll get them to the camp quickly, there’s a potions kit there…”

A moment later, Fenris was being hefted over someone’s shoulder — whether Bull’s or Blackwall’s, he couldn’t tell — and he was jolting along uncomfortably as whoever was carrying him took off at a run, but the discomfort didn’t matter; what mattered was Hawke. Was she all right? Was she… why had she… why couldn’t she look after herself for once…?

He couldn’t ask any of these questions, though; they were half-formed ideas, barely cohesive beyond the thread of fear and fatigue that was holding them together. By the time he was being laid down on the distinctive padding of a bedroll, even that thread had started to dissolve, leaving him with only one bleary thought in mind. 

Hawke. He wanted her. Where was she?

He tried to open his eyes, but his eyelids were too heavy. He pried his tongue away from the roof of his mouth. “Rynne,” he croaked.

A cool hand touched his forehead, but it wasn’t Hawke’s this time. 

“You’ll be all right,” Cole murmured. “Sleep.”

Read the rest on AO3. 

[squiddybeifong]

Meeting the Sirens

Harley could honestly admit to never paying attention to how amazing plants were at camouflage. It made sense to a certain extent with the natural world, but when one mixed Raven’s darkness with Pam’s powers, it gave the impression that Hell could be nothing more than a jungle on fire.

Sapphire eyes watched as cacti scuttled closer and vines slithered along the walls, hidden by the usual shadows. Their leaves curled in on themselves before they aimed towards Raven and the shadows darted away, forcing the plants to scramble into better hiding as Pam tried to keep the upper hand.

Harley ran a tongue over her teeth and forced out a laugh, sliding in between her kinda-girlfriend and her kinda-niece and tossing an arm around them both. “Come on, you two!” She pulled them close until their cheeks touched, spinning to beam at Talia and Kitty, “We can all get along, can’t we?”

Three glares and one look of pure apathy greeted her suggestion. “It’s bad enough you brought her--” Selina started, not taking her glare off of the assassin.

Ivy continued her sentence, all but sneering at the teen, “But why the fuck would we ever trust a hero?” The botanist’s glare deepened, the vines shifting in preparation again.

Emerald eyes widened half an inch as Raven forced to vines to stay in place, the darkness freezing the walls around them. The two superpowered women stared at each other for a long moment, uncaring to how Harley sheepishly squeezed their shoulders.  

After an impossibly long minute, the clown started to squirm and the Titan shrugged, “Your grudges are fair enough.”

She lifted her hand and made sure that Poison Ivy saw the magic fall away from her palm. Raven silently lowered herself until she stood on the floor and crossed her arms over her chest, rolling her jaw once before offering an olive branch, “But from what Harley’s told me we both despise Zatanna.”

The redhead raised a brow, a humorless laugh escaping, “That’s it?”

“I’m also an empath.” Pam straightened her back at that information. Raven glanced at Catwoman out of the corner of her eye, addressing the green-skinned woman in front of her, “And I’d imagine that while I’m not as fond of her as you seem to be, we all don’t mind Harley dragging us away with her shenanigans.”

A pale hand raised from underneath her cloak, “That’s at least two things we have in common.”

Talia finally spoke up, “Three if you count having powers.”

Selina snorted at her interjection and Harley turned to them, her eyes brightening up as she tried to get her two friend groups to get along. Pam and Raven didn’t seem that close to killing each other, so she focused on getting Kitty and Talia from trying to glare each other out of existence, “And I bet you two have stuff in common too!”

Almost immediately after the words left her Harley sucked her teeth, wincing as she remembered the last time they had met. Raven shifted at the emotions in the room, letting out a silent hum as her shadows drifted closer to her.

Amethyst eyes flicked to Ivy as she let out a huff, “Not this again.”

The teen didn’t ask, but her question was loud in the air. Talia kept Selina in her line of sight as she shifted to explain, “We’ve had the same lover.”

Raven arched a brow, her mild amusement obvious even despite her hood shadowing half her face. She tilted her chin towards Ivy, “Batman seems to just attract criminals, doesn’t he?”

“Unfortunately.”

“Yes,” Talia hummed, displeasure rolling off her in waves. “He surrounds himself with more and more incompetence after every switch.”

Harley emphatically nodded her head at the statement behind her words. She patted the assassin’s arm, “Oh, so Batman ditched you? That’s rough, buddy.”

Selina narrowed her eyes despite the haughty smirk on her face, her hands curling into fists as she shot out to the goth, “He ditched her for me.”

“Wait, so you were the rebound? That’s rough too, Kitty.” Harley seemed to catch herself, her head snapping back to Talia. “I, uh, I mean…”

The blonde glanced at Raven, looking for some emphatic help. When nothing came she rushed out, “That sucks, my gals who can hopefully be pals?”

Raven crossed her arms over her chest, “This is an awful conversation.” Violet eyes turned to the botanist and she inched closer, “I’m sensing at least four deaths that have taken place here in the past two months. Care to show me around?”

Her request was met with a curious stare. After a contemplative moment the vines seemed to relax around them, a tangle of flowered stems curling to make a sort of hallway near their feet. A lazy grin curled black-lipsticked lips.

“Sure,” Ivy waved at the mystic to follow and away they went. Green shoulders shrugged, “If Robin--no, he’s a different bird now, right?”

“Nightwing.”

“Yeah. If he asks, they were all eco-terrorists that went missing.”

Raven snorted, her face curious as Pam added, a lilt to her voice, “There’s also a bunch of mushroom patches over their graves. They’re just full of poison; you’ll love them.”

The demoness perked up at that, “Any death caps?” Pine eyes flicked to her and Raven amended, “You’re Poison Ivy. I’d expect you to have at least a few of this planet’s best.”

“I’ve got better than that. Look up there,” Raven followed her pointed finger, her eyes lighting up as she spotted a white patch clumped along the rusty rivets. Pam watched as she floated up a few inches until they were practically the same height. A rare smile curled the stoic’s face, “I didn’t know Gotham was humid enough to support destroying angels…”

“You don’t know a lot about Gotham just yet.” The redhead nudged her elbow, starting to walk again. She bit her lip and decided to give this hero one allowance; if Harley loved her and she seemed morally gray enough to mingle with Batman’s enemies, then Raven was not yet trustworthy but slightly okay in her book. “And you can call me Pam, by the way.”

Raven tilted her head, giving the siren a thin but genuine smile, “Pam, then. Shall we go?” She motioned to where the vines were laid out for them to follow, “Those spirits aren’t going to be put to rest otherwise.”

Her words got an ‘Aha!’ and a snap as recognition filled the redhead’s aura, “Is that why all of our stuff has been moving around when we aren’t here? I told Harley no one alive was stupid enough to keep breaking into our place…”

Harley watched them go out the doors with a pout, turning back to see Talia had a hand on her sword’s hilt and Cat was tense, poised for a fight with her claws unretracted, if curled into fists.  

Quickly skipping in between them, the blonde tried to stall.

Her hands clasped in front of her chest as she wiggled her shoulders, thinking of something, anything, to prevent the fighting before it really began. Not that she couldn’t take care of any brawls, of course, but her friends were supposed to be getting along, dammit!

When nothing came to mind, she thought of how she’d distract the Joker whenever he got in his funks. And while neither of the two villainesses in front of her seemed opposed to potentially joining her in bed (though that was more up Pam’s alley, honestly), the answer came to her: both Kitty and Tally Marks were awful when it came to withstanding annoyances.

Her eyes bright, the blonde spoke a single word.

“Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo--,” Harley held it for a few seconds, paused to take a breath, and continued on as long as she could, “--oooooooooooooooooo…”

A clawed finger jerked out to press against her lips, “Shut up.”

Talia tensed at the move and Harley twisted away to speak up again, “Right, right. Cool, cool, cool, this is so cool that we’re all meeting again like this.” Harley rubbed at the back of her neck as her eyes darted around the room, considering asking the cactus where Ivy and Birdie went off to.

But she was the bridge and she had to stall the inevitable fight (again). The clown clicked her tongue and spoke freely and impulsively, “So, you two both fucked Batsy then?”

Neither women moved but two green glares landed on her. Deciding that she had to out-tension them both, Harley flipped one of her pigtails over her shoulder, “Hey, at least y’all got something in common, amirite?”

She rocked on her heels, “I mean, jeez. Wanting to cuddle with raspy-voiced bats. I know that feeling.”

That got Talia’s attention. Her eyes didn’t stray from Catwoman, but her temple tilted towards her friend, “Are you in love with my Beloved as well?”

“Ugh. Gods, no,” Harley’s face scrunched up at the mere thought. Shaking her head, she puffed her chest and buffed her checkerboard nails on her shirt, “I’m more-a Fidget kinda gal, myself.”

When neither reacted the blonde looked between them, her eyes comically widening, almost in slow motion. Blinking rapidly, Harley let her astonishment fill her voice, “Please say you guys remember Fidget? He’s one of Disney’s best characters in one of their best movies. Of all time.”

Selina couldn’t hold back her snort and Harley waved her thinly-veiled mockery aside, answering the look of confusion on Talia’s face, “He was the bat in ‘the Great Mouse Detective.’ Great film, by the way.”

Blue eyes smugly bored into Cat’s face, “Waaaaay better than ‘the Aristocats,’ despite the lies Kitty may believe.”

Smiling, she strolled back to face her favorite evil heiress, “Now I wouldn’t so much as ever think of fucking him --y’know Kitty’s the furry of the group-- but I can see getting to know the baby. Maybe even plan a heist or three after Rati--”

Selina drawled out, “Don’t spoil her.”

Talia watched the way Harley’s face lit up, “So you have seen it!”

“Yes. You make us watch it all the time.”

“Well I didn’t realize you were so busy thinking of a different bat the whole time. I just figured you purring about milk was a feline thing. Sorry for assuming, Kit-Kat.”

Annoyed, an irritated sigh forced its way out of Talia. She rolled her jaw, her fingers drumming against the metal of her sword’s guard, “You two tire me in the worst of ways.”

A high-pitched laugh escaped Harley as she dove into a hug, her palms hastily wrapping around Talia’s waist to prevent the assassin’s sword from being unsheathed. Giggling against the taller woman’s shoulder Harley sighed into the air, “Ray Ray was right this is just awful. We can find a different connection besides Batman, right?”

Talia and Selina didn’t stop their glare-off but the blonde paid them no mind, her words coming a beat faster than usual, “Like how we all break the law! Or how you both really appreciate having me in your lives? Oh! What about how both your names end with ‘A,’ that’s gotta be worth something!”

Her nose scrunched as she kept thinking, the idea coming to her effortlessly after a few seconds of silence, “Oh! I got it!” She held out her hands, making a square out of her fingers and closing one eye as if painting a picture in the air. Harley’s grin was loud in her declaration, “Strawberry milkshakes.”

Selina let out a huff through her nose, “Neutral ground won’t keep us from wanting to kill each other, Harls.”

“You never know. That’s what happened with Tal and Rae and me. Oh!” Blonde brows jumped an inch above sapphire eyes as a place came to mind, “How about we go to that burger diner that the Bats sometimes goes to.”

Talia tilted her head to the side, knowing the girl’s connection to the city’s protectors. “I doubt Raven will agree to that.”

“She’ll agree. But it’ll be reluctant.” Harley pitched forward and aimed a finger gun to both, her smile widening to a grin, “Just like your truce.”

Two aggravated sighs came from her words and Catwoman’s lips tightened in annoyance, “Not likely.”

Talia glowered when the blonde clasped her hands above her collar, Harley’s growing pout accompanying her dilating eyes, “No. We’re not as susceptible as the other two to your looks.”

A lazy laugh slipped out of the blonde, “Something else y’all have in common?”

The assassin’s glower deepened at her words. And while she’d never admit to the troublesome way Harley’s eyes grew and her lower lip quivered, Talia had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep her resolve. Without putting too much attention on her rival, she knew Catwoman was doing the same.

Olive eyes rolled in annoyance and Talia sheathed her sword, grumbling out, “I won’t attack her tonight.”

Selina shrugged one shoulder and retracted her claws. She crossed her arms over her chest and glanced between the two, “These meetings only last the night, correct?”

“Yep!” Harley popped the ‘P,’ practically bouncing on her feet at the way the tension in the room was lessening. The clown looked like a kid in a candy store and both Bat-lovers rolled their eyes.

“Then I guess we can get along for a few hours.” The Cat glanced at Talia out of the corner of her eye, a tiny smirk quirking her lips, “For Harley’s sake.”

“Agreed.”

[catdaddydef]

❤️💖💘💓💝💕❣️💟❣️💕💝💓💞💘💖❤️💝💞💕💖

Tagged by the lovely @enderkate and the wonderful @ahgase55g7

The rules are:

1. Tag the person who tagged you

2. Answer the questions.

3. Tag 10 people

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE U GUYS

•How tall are you?

5’2 and flourishing. Give me a tall man tho, but I'mma still wear the pants. Everyone in my family is literally the same shape and height. The genes are hella strong.

•What color and style is your hair?

I dye my hair all the time, but my natural hair color is a lightish brown. Right now I have it a pretty dark shade of brown, but an thinking of dying it again. I have super long, straight, and THICK hair. It’s getting hotter out and I am about to chop it all off. I really want to bleach my hair, but that is too big of a step.

•What color are your eyes?

Brownnnnnn.

•Do you wear glasses?

Only when I drive or am in class. I have tried everything, but my glasses always leave a weird indent where my makeup is on my nose. So, I try to get by without them.

•Do you wear braces?

No. I actually sucked my thumb until I was ten, so I am surprised my teeth aren’t messed up, and I have really straight teeth. Maybe sucking my thumb moved them back into place? Is that even a thing?

•What’s your fashion sense?

I love fashion so much omg. I usually go for a vintage look, but am really into athletic fashion. If I could wear vintage Chanel or Versace everyday, I would, but your girl is broke. I desperately want a Chanel boy bag, so sugar daddy where u at?

I tag a lot of fashion under INSPO. So, if you ever see that tag, that’s what u will see me wearing or wanting to buy.

•Full name?

Ashley Rose. Idk if I want to put my full name because I am dodging the feds. JK JK

•When were you born?

August 5, 1997. 🦁♌🦁

•Where are you from and where do you live now?

I’m from Minnesota in the US. Reppin that northern twang. I live in Minneapolis, which is the biggest town in our state. It’s smaller than Chicago, but just the right size to get a small town feel in an urban city.

•What school do you go to?

I’m in university right now at the University of Minnesota. I’m a third year studying Psychology and Family Therapy. My goal after getting my degree will be to go onto grad school, either for Psychology or Social Work.

•What kind of student are you?

I was always the class clown, but in uni there are to many people to be wildin like that haha. I actually really love school and enjoy all of my classes. I worked really hard to get here, so I am milking it for all it’s worth. My grades are really nice, and I pride myself in saying that because I have went through such a tough time and still willed myself to keep up with school.

•Do you like school?

I’m a nerd yeah.

•Favorite subject?

Anything psych related. I’m in this cognitive psychology course right now and I love learning about the brain and how it explains our actions. Did you know we can live with only half a brain?

•Favorite TV show?

I love love love love love Naruto. It will forever be my favorite childhood memory, especially with my sister. That being said, I love anime as a whole. Right now I am watch JoJo and it is giving me life. Some of my other fav’s rn are The Haunting of Hill House, The Office, and That 70’s Show. I was a big Game of Thrones fan, but I didn’t like that they diverted from the books, so they lost me there.

Oh! And I am a huge reality TV fan. I have seen almost every season of The Challenge, watched Flavor of Love and I Love New York a million times, and Keeping Up With The Kardashians is a guilty pleasure. Say what you want, but I have been watching that show since 2008.

•Favorite Movie?

I’m a sucker for any emotional, sad movie. I love Titanic, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, A Star is Born, Edward Scissorhands, yeah. But my all time favorite movie would be the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy. I can recite the whole script of Dead Man’s Chest and don’t even doubt it.

I just recently saw Akria and have been super obsessed with it, so that may potentially be a favorite.

And The Room is such a gem to me. Midnight showing are such a mood.

•Favorite books?

Hands down the Harry Potter series. I have read them all three times. I also am an avid fanfic reader. Go support your fandom writers plz. They are so precious.

 These are some of my favorite writers @prettywordsyouleft @urlocalkpoptrash @katdefbeom @ahgaseda

Favorite pastime?

I’m a huge YouTube Stan. Like, I spend most of my free time watching shitty videos. I’m one of Trishy’s Fishies 🐠🐠🐠

I am super in love with my cat, Miss Boo. So, I try and spend and give as much love to her. ♥️

Something I really love doing is finding new animes to watch with my sister, so shout out to her!

•Do you have any regrets?

I do, but if I had the chance to take them back, I wouldn’t. I have struggled a lot, but realizing that my mistakes have made me grow and learn is something I cherish.

I regret not fully standing Got7 till If You Do. I watched their little asses from debut, but fell in completely later on. Foolish.

•Dream job?

I’m so looking forward to what is ahead of me in social work and therapy. BUT I have always wanted to be an ice skater. Deadass. Or do something in fashion.

•Would you ever like to be married?

Yes! It will happen when it happens, but I know I would really love to grow old with someone and build a family. Let’s hope my prince gets his ass together and come find me. I’ve been waiting.

Where u at Jaebum. The fuck.

•Would you like to have kids?

Definitely. I want to have a huge family with a bunch of pets. I grew up with a yellow lab and when I am out of uni I want to adopt one. Also, I want to have an army of cats.

•How many?

Deadass five or more. Let’s go womb.

•Do you like shopping?

It is a bad habit. Don’t get me started. I admit I spend too much money on stupid stuff. I am such a makeup addict so plz keep me away from Sephora.  

•What countries have you visited?

Italy and Greece! I really want to travel more, but my wallet says no, no, no, no, no. I will probably end up living in Minnesota for the rest of my life because I want stay close to my family. Family means everything to me.

Regardless of being labeled as a kpop fan, I would love to visit Korea. I studied four semesters of Korean and would love to put it to use. I have also been a fan since 2013, so through kpop I have taken in a lot of the Korean culture. It would be a dream trip.

•Scariest nightmare you have ever had?

Waking up. JK. I don’t really remember my dreams all that much, but any dream where either someone has died or I am getting chased really freaks me out. I use to have really bad sleep paralysis, but I never had any hallucinations, just the experience of not being able to move or breath is super trippy.

•Any enemies?

Only myself.

•Any significant other?

Yeah, that spot is open right now. Please send in your applications.

I’m pretty sure Jaebum is single right now, just saying.

•Do you believe in miracles?

I want to, but I physically do not think they actually happen. I am a really practical person, but am open to learning and wishing.

I am suppose to insert a Got7 Miracle quote here hehe?

•How are you?

Gucci. Stressing and excited because the semester is coming to an end. And also super hyped because I just ate some good food. Hehe.

Tagging these lovely people! I’m not sure who has done this or not, but if you want to, JUST DO IT! 

@lordofassgard @jacksonurs @defsoulsgirl @tuanamino @empressjiaer @youngjaelitist @prettywordsyouleft @mark-tuan-and-namjoon-lover

[aion-rsa]

Doom Patrol Episode 2 Review: Donkey Patrol

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Doom Patrol improves as it gets strangers and stranger. Alan Tudyk's mocking narration certainly helps.

Books

This Doom Patrol review contains spoilers.

Doom Patrol Episode 2 

Enter Cyborg. After premiering last week with a weird, off-the-ball introductory pilot full of comic book nods, the second episode of Doom Patrol connects itself to the larger DC Universe. But it does so without sacrificing the heart, and absurdity of the show about super-zeroes. I mean, this is an episode featuring a talking cockroach who is a doomsday disciple, and a pocket universe inside a donkey–which is to say “Donkey Patrol” is weirdly great.

If you’ll recall (and how could you forget?), the pilot ended with the villainous Mr. Nobody’s flatulent donkey ripping open a portal that began sucking in the citizens of Cloverton, Ohio. We pick up pretty much there, as Nobody offers “welcome back to the shit show.” That eventually includes the talking roach, the entire town, and both the Chief and Crazy Jane.

Needless to say, things are bad. This is how things look when the reject not-quite-heroes get involved. As Larry states, “This is what the world looks like when we live in it.” Thus kicks off a cycle of regret, denial, and an attempt to escape, which is easier said than done.

While Cliff is dedicated to getting Jane back, and once he does, understand the mystery of her powered personalities, Rita chooses to return to her daily routine, assured that everything will work out. And Larry decides to book a ticket away from clown town, though the energy entity inside him had other ideas (the bus stop sequence as he repeatedly attempts to escape, only to end up an unconscious heap is edited so perfectly, and is both frustrating and funny).

Doom Patrol is balancing all its oddballs nicely so far while doing interesting things with the evolution of its characters. There is always humor, often paired with an emotional gut-punchline. For instance, Larry’s arc this week is heartbreaking, even though his attempted escape montage is played for laughs. He was a man living a double life: An All-American hero and hotshot pilot/husband, but with a male lover. Now he literally lives with another being inside him and must grapple with something that cannot be controlled. The end scene is incredible as he unwraps his bandages, revealing his true visage, and telling the energy inside him, “We need some ground rules” (to the tune of David Bowie’s “Lazarus,” a self-epitaph from the icon’s final album Blackstar).

Cliff is trying to be a better man in robot form than he ever was as a human, and it hurts for him to realize the daughter Chief hid from him is likely better off thinking her father is dead. But Cliff wants to make amends, and that includes working on the bond with the fractured Jane(s) when she returns. The scenes of him clumsily trying to make a PB&J sandwich (“robot hands”) for Jane, as he remembers doing so for his own child, are incredibly tender—even though Brendan Fraser sells the heck out of his Holy Shits when something shocking happens.

Cliff wants to be a hero, and it kind of sucks when Vic Stone/Cyborg arrives because he is a better robotman than Cliff’s brokedown self that scares Baby Doll (one of Janes comic book alters). He’s just a clunky tinman, but he keeps on trucking, even though Jane lashes out and reminds him she’s not his daughter. Meanwhile, Diane Gurrero tackles the acting challenge with aplomb this week as she burns through Jane’s alters.

Dysfunctional families were everywhere this week (and I suppose that’s a theme with these misfit toys). Rita seemed game to indulge in Nobody’s illusion (inside the donkey) until he began taunting her about a past with a child. I am stressing out wondering what Rita did that was so terrible, and I am certain we’ll find out.

Admittedly, I was nervous about Cyborg’s inclusion in Doom Patrol, but Joivan Wade is a likeable addition. This is a younger Vic Stone, and I appreciate the level of confidence he brings as a Detroit superhero on the outside, but a depressed kid on the inside. Clearly he isn’t getting much love from his severe father Silas (Phil Morris), and instead finds more support from the Chief.

This loyalty to Caulder works as a way to bring him into the Doom Patrol fold, and it’s fun watching a B-list hero (who name drops the Flash as “not that fast”) interact with the D-list Doom Patrol. Vic is a “Big City Hero” according to Rita, so he dives right into the action, even if he is foolhardy.

Because Vic thinks he knows what he’s doing, he’s an easier mark for the villain, who toys with him: “What an origin story!” But it not a good idea to doubt the narrator, and through a gory dismemberment scene, we begin to suspect Vic’s memory is more implant than history. (I also happen to think Cyborg’s original comic origins as suffering a lab accident, and being outfitted with advanced cybernetic tech works better here than his New 52 Mother Box/Apokolips connection).

In fact, there is a lot of nastiness this week, which is a highlight of Doom Patrol. From Rita squeezing her eye down the throat of the donkey keyhole (after she emotes in order to blob), to the then-exploding donkey, I am digging how gross the show is willing to get.

Alan Tudyk continues to hold this weird plot together as the villain/narrator who taunts both the heroes, and the audience (a collection of “Grant Morrison fans, Reddit trolls with DC Universe subscriptions, and the three new fans who stuck around after the donkey fart”). I love that he has such as twisted and convoluted sense of humor to lure the heroes into a donkey, and contacts them via audio tour. His motives are still unclear, but I appreciated that Cyborg called out the fact that Nobody is scared and maybe not as omnipotent as he suggests.

Finally, even though Doom Patrol began in Titans, it was exciting to get multiple references to the outside DC world this week. Hearing from ARGUS, seeing S.T.A.R. Labs, namedropping the Flash and Justice League all serves to root the show in its own little weird corner of the universe. And how about that Crisis on Infinite Earths-style painting at the end? That cannot be good for DP.

Two episodes in, and I am there for Doom Patrol. As ridiculous as it gets, and low brow as the humor is, there is a core to the show that is entirely absurd but full of heart.

4/5

Doom Patrol

Alan Tudyk

DC Entertainment

Review Aaron Sagers

Feb 22, 2019

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from Books https://ift.tt/2BMTXbW

[leagueofawesomedudes]

WEEK 2 LOAD PREVIEW

Sup fellas. We had a wild week 1 to say the least headed up by a tie from our beloved Brownies. Don’t let that fool you from the fact we’re now going 10-5-1 and busting that beer cooler open this weekend after we take down the Saints in Nawlins.

               This may not be single solden coming at you with these previews this year (otherwise known as sir fucks a lot or as Shawn puts it “Old Solden” but that won’t be stopping me from going balls deep on each and every single one of you. Act like I don’t keep notes in the offseason for material to write these and it’s likely to get you torched. On a serious note, we do always give the Saints trouble and I think it could be a steal game putting together the offense with Gordon and Njoku’s huge wangs running wild. Fuck it let’s get to the matchups.

 Golden Taints (Sam) (1-0) VS. Green Eggs and Cam (Shawn) (0-1)

First off, welcome to the league Shawn. The name might be punny, but it’s a little too PG rated for our liking here in the league. Considering paying your weird $5 fee that was put into place for changing your name just so I don’t have to look at it for 16 more weeks. Second off, fuck you Sam. This matchup looks like it could be an interesting one with a new member having the chance to take down our reigning champ. I mean you talk about preoccupied, Sam has his old sugar momma/not his babies but kinda momma/34 year old bombshell landing in Cleveland likely as I type this and faces a weekend of trying to not let his future girlfriend and ex girlfriend all not find out about each other. Hopefully his sex and drama filled weekend blinds him enough to let Shawn get this dub. Rivers will most likely be tearing up Buffalo and he has some favorable matchups as Zeke takes on the Giants and Tygeek Hill takes on Shittsburgh who couldn’t even do better than tying the Browns. Shawn is poised for BIG numbers from Antonio Brown (24) and high end potential from Lindsay and Garcon as they take on two defenses who looked like shit week 1. Going for the upset with this one as Sam is in a sex coma of sadness by Sunday.

 Nugs in yo cargos > Soon to be single again Sam

 Don Julio (Paul) (0-1) VS. jared donovan’s Team (guess who) (0-1)

Jared I think it just needs to be said that not only are you not creative or care enough to make a team name, you somehow managed to make your name lower case but Team capitalized. That’s even more frustrating than Shawn’s. Paul if there’s one person I’m rooting for to take down Sam other than myself, it’s you ya cute son of a bitch future neighbor. This matchup, not much needs to be said. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen such a low weekly projection from a team in week 2 before bye’s start in the NFL. Jared, I like that you’re back and so far are still trying, but taking two browns might be a worse draft strategy than I have had in my tenure in the LOAD. I’m hoping Fournette and obviously Juice will show out for you backed by the one and only Brady, but I don’t know if that will be enough. Paul is Hunting to get the Julio out of the loss column, and will be celebrating with a Graham post with his Cousins bound to get hella likes.

Marvel nerd > jared donovan

G-reg 3rd Leg (Matthew) (1-0) VS. The Injured Reserve (Cholly) (1-0)

Okay seriously this whole auto draft BS is getting old. Next year we need to put something in place where an autodraft equals a Kicker for your first overall pick. Even TJ found a suitable drafter to fill in for him, and the Auto is ridiculous. It’s fun to see Bennett with so many black people on his roster and led by a super inconsistent white QB, even though I see a big bounce back week for Bro Stafford. Bennett’s draft was an even bigger surprise than him having a girlfriend. Not because he has a girlfriend, because he told literally no one and sprung her on the group without a heads up. People don’t forget. I’ll give it to Casey, he’s been to as many squad events as I’ve been to lately, but I kinda miss the drive down to Cleveland aka make doug take you and declare an equal split on the potential tow costs only to uber back to Willoughby anyways and not tell anyone until 1pm when he wakes up. 2017 was wild man. DJ Titty city keeping his streak alive with a dub led by big weeks from Gordon and Mixon.

Rent a DJ > Snow King

 Gurls that Swallow (Holla) (1-0) VS. The Brady Bunch (Doug) (0-1)

Nothing I love more than seeing Holla win and Doug lose. It’s almost a toss up for what’s more enjoyable. Holla’s miracle victory on St. Patty’s day where the police are calling friends in his phone to get him anywhere else than he was, or Doug moving into the real world and paying rent for the first time since College. Holla has a big time question mark with Rodgers in Q status and an otherwise questionable roster, yeah that’s right I’ll say it. First year I can remember I wasn’t the biggest fan of the Grandma killa’s roster. Doug is poised for big weeks from his Big 3 wide receivers bend it like Beckham, all chad thinks I do is smoke Green, and TJ re-Cooper-ating from the loss Hannah Bush handed him. As much as I hate to say it, I see a victory on the forefront for Douglas.

Discount Double Doug > Holla at ya Grandma

 SaviorsOfTheUniverse (TJ) (1-0) VS. Nuk if You Buk (Dom) (0-1)

What a matchup we have here. Ex roommates, current lovers, and future enemies on the pitch. That’s football right? While Dom is on a bigger tear than I was last year, it wasn’t enough to get him a week 1 victory. Tj not far behind him with the women, has a lead in the LOAD. And I guess real life too with his two coconuts he calls balls. I’d be okay granting Big Tone the victory if TJ ends up winning this year, as he’s cooler than TJ will ever be anyways. JK. But not really. With Watson facing a terrible Titans team and Josh Gordon set to see a full game of reps, he needs to hope this will be enough to make up for a David where’s his Johnson in Questionable status. Man I fucking hate that status, just tell us amiritedude. Dominic has a team full of pass catching running backs and turned into a traitor by drafting Big Ben (how’d that taste last week?). Although Mccaffrey is set for a big week, I’m giving this one to TJ.

 Hipster Tones > Worst Vball player

 ***MATCHUP OF THE WEEK***

MaKamaraca Gr8 Again (Ya boi) (1-0) VS. Blowin’ Down Ingrams (Wardawg) (0-1)

Man I really don’t like picking myself as the matchup of the week, but Chad’s biweekly dramatic blowup on me pretty much sealed the deal. I put a lot of thought into how bad I wanted to take this, but I figured I’d take the high road (get it? I smoke weed) and keep it under control. Chad, not only does your team suck this year, but if you look at the previous years according to yahoo you are 19-28 and full of excuses. I respect your commissionership and commitment to this league, but there’s only so much shit you can talk before you face the facts in black and white. Last place with the least amount scored isn’t exactly the start I’d be hoping for. With everyone wondering if Matt Ryan is a fraud, he comes into the week hoping for a big Sunday out of LA and powerful performances from Collins and Ajayi. I hope Kamara puts 500 yards on the Browns and 3 tuddies because we’re still outscoring them and winning regardless. Jimmy G (stop dating porn stars and play football) rebounding and the Stanford bearded mother fucker connecting another week with Mike Evans taking me to the victory and plenty of shit talking to Chadley.

Stoner > Alcoholic

That’s it for me boys. Hoping we can get some more participation with writing these and it causes more drama than the first two weeks have. Not trying to give advice but TJ is the easiest target as he gets the most mad. Solden signing off, Go Browns. Drop a LOAD.