#as much as ur capable at least I know sometimes for some people (me included) interospection isn't a strength

[bookwyrminspiration]

sir twas i, the keefex anon mutual. it's 12:14am and i'm not done with this fic for ayyam-i-ha, i'm sorry :( i'm gonna keep writing until it reaches an ending. or until i force it to end out of being tired. it's gonna be shit compared to the sokeefitz nightmare fic in terms of plot, probably, but it's got nice vibes i swear. when i post it tomorrow keep in mind i was sleep deprived when i wrote this. okie ily /p sleep better than i'm going to lol <3

Izzy. Izzy oh my god. Izzy please take your time and take care of yourself, I can wait I promise you I do not mind delays at all I probably won't even notice I'll just go "oh shit a fic!" without realizing. You do not need to apologize and you don't have to rush it, I promise.

That being said, omg a keefex fic! I'm so so curious to see what you've written (for me??? you're writing a fic for me??) when you do share it, I'm sure it's going to be absolutely lovely--I mean I'm going to love the thought and effort and support behind it either way, so.

I hope you didn't lose too much sleep over this, but thank you in advance for the lovely keefex fic <3

[youremyheaven]

girl your moon post was so accurate for me too! my father has rohini rising and is such a narcissist and a master at gaslighting. he resorted to manipulating ppl's perspective of me ig so they wouldn't believe me when i started calling him out after a liiiifetime of his crap. he is extremely two faced and a lot of ppl find him really sketchy, but those he manages to fool he fools really well. the only positives of this is that at least i can see these patterns in people easily. frankly, confronting a liar is so taxing bc even if you do manage to outsmart them they'll just make some excuse. like girl. i also know this hasta moon girl that is a pathological liar and every time i see her i just can't take anything she says seriously bc i just always feel like she's lying out of her ass ab the most menial stuff. her family has had issues w her bc she skipped school for months and no one knew ab it bc she would tell such bold lies like, "call my teacher. here, have the phone so you can talk to her ab my grades" and everyone was like, ig she's doing well in school otherwise she wouldn't offer to call? i genuinely worry thinking ab what if i have a kid and they have a moon nakshatra and express it negatively like this omg i'll go crazy. anyways thank you for your post it was so interesting to see such thoroughly explained examples 🤍 it reminded me of ariana grande as well who just seems so shamelessly manipulative to me too. like when she's like "for total transparency i'll say that..." i'm immediately like ok. so you're lying 😂

im glad 😭😭😭that my Moon post resonated with so many of you, it means so much to me

Im so sorry about your father. I agree with what you said about confronting liars, I confronted someone about something deeply hurtful that they said to me and they literally said "i don't remember" 😭😭 idk how these people sleep at night bro like do they not have a conscience??

I'm happy every time some shady person is exposed in the media, including Ariana who I've found sus for yearsss ,, it's so hard to be an intuitive bc u can't even explain why u feel the way u do so no one believes you when u say that somebody is not what they seem on the outside, u get torn apart for speaking the truth but sooner or later the truth will be seen and will be heard and I truly believe that.

I hope you remain protected from abuse of all kinds in the future and always surrounded by kindness and support. 💛💛

GIRLIEEE what u said about kids is sooo 😭😭I do think about that from time to time but i believe that kids are a manifestation of our karma so the more we focus on bettering ourselves and thereby bettering our actions, we can design our lives to be drama free. What kind of children we have depends on what kind of parents we're capable of being (and you are completely in control of how you behave/treat others) so don't feel too powerless about ur future kids!!! Focus on yourself and your healing and the rest will flow💛💛💛 also if you believe in manifestation 👀just believe that you'll manifest healthy and wonderful children

This blog is a hobby of mine but what makes all my research and writing meaningful is the fact that not only do I get to learn more about astrology, I get to reach people who perhaps might benefit from the things I share. I love to hear about your guys experiences related to the things I post bc sometimes I genuinely wonder like is anyone even reading my 5k words slander on a nakshatra lmfao

Thank you so much for taking the time to tell me about your experiences, I appreciate it so much 💛and i believe many others will also feel seen

[artanddaddyissues]

Any interest in the main 6 living with a MC who's disabled? One who deals with chronic fatigue and pain maybe? And how they would accommodate and support them 💖 love ur work btw (〃^ω^〃)

Omg 🥺 I’m crying I love this request sm! HERE YOU GO <3

the M6 with an M/C who is chronically ill

Heads up: this could be sensitive to some but overall its not very angsty! gender neutral M/C, M/C text is yellow

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- "Oh my gods, twins!"

- Asra is also, always tired although he is not medically diagnosed he likes to joke around with you.

- It's draining and extremely tiring for you but Asra takes good care of you when you can't.

- He lets you know that you are still capable of being independent and strong enough to stand alone but help makes life so much easier and he doesn't hesitate to give it.

- Asra constantly tries new spells, potions and charms when they learn of your diagnosis.

- "Try this, it always works for me."

- Your body has adapted to using magic meaning that you don't use it often. Only on "good" days

- Asra often uses healing magic on you in hopes to take away the pain for a while and sometimes it works!

- Your illness doesn't phase him since he's known you since forever and he' is used to living with your routine of sleepless nights, or sleeping through the day.

- He knows what to do when you're in incredible pain or when you're uncomfortable.

- "wait wait wait... you just... sleep?" "It's complicated."

- He encourages you to open up to him about your every symptom, feeling, etc....

- "Okay, I know you're always feeling under the weather, I understand what chronic means but I think I found something that might help you." "Are there any-" "No. No leeches, my love."

- Some days are worse than others and he invests all his time into you on those days. Even though your fatigue never goes away when you sleep, Julian still encourages you to rest, and keep relaxed. "Don't use too many faculties and no magic! As least for today, alright? I'll be back with some tea and medication for you."

- Very much a caretaker whenever its a bad day for you

- He loves to surprise you with gifts and take you on "dates" at home where he does all the chores, brings a meal home and surprises you with flowers, especially since you don't always feel like going out

- He's sometimes a little over protective and it takes a while for him to learn how to change that. After all, he watched you defeat the devil.

-Julian admires you a lot more than you realize for having to live with a chronic illness. Few patients he's seen actually have illnesses like yours so whenever he sees you doing... anything, he's in awe.

- "Do not disturb them."

- Basically your bodyguard, bestie and wife all in one.

- She treats you no differently. She invites you everywhere, includes you in everything and makes sure you're kept in the loop.

- Nadia knows to well what it feels like to be left out so she makes sure you're with her all the time, included in the big city projects, in the boring engagements, etc...

- Nadia likes to make you feel special, so naturally she SPOILS YOU A LOT. Jewels? Furs? Food? A new palace? Sure

- She makes sure you have access to the best doctors of Vesuvia, actually no. She makes sure you have the best doctors on the continent.

- "Are you feeling up to a walk in the gardens?"

- She loves your willingness to not let your illness define you. Much of your routine is similar to hers, and you do many things most people dont even think of doing.

- Nadia is extremely inspired by you and makes sure you're treated incredibly well at all times.

- "Wake up! Oh wait- sorry..."

- It takes a little getting used to, especially once you live together but Lucio gets the hang of it.

- He isn't used to routine but makes an effort to stick to at least your morning routine, your medication routine, etc...

-Lucio doesn't mind at ALL and encourages you to carry on with life and stay strong

-In a way, you both suffered in your lives. Your illness is chronic and Lucio lost his arm! Many jokes are made between the both of you.

- "Hey, can we arm wrestle?" "No, I'm tired." "Thats fair."

- The dogs love to be protective over you whenever you fall asleep or are in pain. Lucio hates it but eventually gets around them, cuddling up next to you.

-Similar to Nadia, he makes sure you have the best doctors he can find. You deserve the best, always!

- Lucio loves and i mean, loves to spoil you. "Bad day? Thought so. I got you this!"

- He loves the reaction he sees every time he brings you a gift or takes you somewhere. It really warms his heart to know that he's doing something right, for somebody who needs it.

-He learned a lot from you like patience, willpower and strength. You are his role model, basically.

- "We are cuddling." "But-" "I'm waiting!"

- She smothers you in love and affection always, but especially when you really don't feel well

- she makes sure you know that you're safe with her and that you can be vulnerable

- she always helps put on your medical devices, even going as far as learning how they work and what they do for you

- "Do you want a snack?" She enjoys taking care of you whenever its a bad day, good day, any day!

- She has many questions and usually asks them tentatively, "If you don't mind... Can you explain to me why exactly you're in pain? It never goes away?"

- Respect 100 <3

- She will fight someone for you if they dare look at you wrong

- She knows how strong you truly are and that just makes her melt. She is completely in love with every part of you, even the bad days when you feel like absolute crap, you're moody and tired too.

- "I'll watch over you..."

- Protectiveness 100

- He makes sure either he or Inanna has an eye on you at ALL TIMES.

- He loves taking you on walks through the forest, he believes they help you.

- Protective charms? WAY TO MANY-

- "I'm sorry if i'm a burden." His wide eyes make you regret saying that at all. "Never say that again. You're not a burden, you're my partner."

- Soft cuddles always <333

- He makes sure you know that you are so much more than your illness. He encourages you to do things, but never pushes you out of your comfort zone.

- He's like your safe space. Constantly encouraging you, reassuring you caring for you...

- "Hey, M/C? let's visit Asra- if you're up to it-" "I am, lets go!"

- He loves your outlook on life and you both have deep talks, especially late at night when you're both sleepy.

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If I got anything wrong or misunderstood anything AT ALL. TELL ME!! I want to rep everyone fairly, so if I said something a little stupid let a girl know 😭

Much love and support to the strong people out there dealing with chronic illness. <3

[theangryjikooker]

I just recently found out ur blog and i tried to read most of the answers to understand ur view point on jikook..but i got confused about u. I mean the name of ur blog is something like u r definitely a believer in jikook but on the other side u r so chill that u didn't even defend them as a couple when ur anons bring some negative points. Angry jikooker....but u behave like u don't give a damn. U even agrees with them on the things which are sometimes against jikook. And m not saying it's a bad thing bcz it's in fact good that at least u behave logically and not someone like a blind shipper. But i got confused bcz ur blog name shows like u r a hard core shipper or supporter of them but maybe that's not the case??? So i just wanted to ask u as a new follower of urs...what u actually think about them??? And how much do u believe in them as a couple?? And do u also think like jk sometimes just use jimin bcz he sometimes behaves same with tae too??? What are ur thoughts exactly!!! M new here so pls if u can explain to me as a little about urself...thn thankyou.

"I mean the name of ur blog is something like u r definitely a believer in jikook [...] But i got confused bcz ur blog name shows like u r a hard core shipper or supporter of them but maybe that's not the case???" Incredibly presumptuous of you–to assume that every Jkkr is a committed believer in the dating narrative. I enjoy their dynamic–why is that not enough? What is so difficult to grasp about someone who doesn't want to cross further lines that the very nature of RPS inherently does already? Their bond resonates with me, full stop. I don't know why it matters to you or anyone else why I'm not arming myself with the full Jikook bible and defending it with my life.

"but on the other side u r so chill that u didn't even defend them as a couple when ur anons bring some negative points." What's negative? That people are sharing information that the members might be dating other people? That they're sharing information that insinuates Jikook might not be dating at all? That they're sharing information that the members might be dating/messing around with women? I make it a point to never fully agree with people who are sharing information based on word-of-mouth, but I am perfectly capable of compartmentalizing well enough that they're all rational possibilities. I don't know that Jikook are dating, and I also don't know that they're not. I can only go by what we concretely know about them, but what we do already know is only the tip of the iceberg. Many shippers choose to explore what's below the surface; I do not, on principle, unless they voluntarily share more of themselves with us. What's so difficult to understand about this?

"Angry jikooker....but u behave like u don't give a damn." The very origins of TAJ began because toxic Jkkrs were ruining my vibe and being shitty, hypocritical, and verbally abusive–among other things, including being brazen enough to DM me death threats all because I don't think like other supporters do. So yeah, Angry Jikooker about sums it up. Clearly, not all Jkkrs are like this, but my experience with toxic zealots pushed me to carve out this space for myself. If being neutral means I don't give a damn, then yeah, I don't. If you don't like it, go somewhere else. I'm not forcing anyone to read my ramblings. Scroll past my posts, block me–IDGAF.

"what u actually think about them??? And how much do u believe in them as a couple?? What are ur thoughts exactly!!!" They're adorable and occasionally partake in questionable behavior that's worth a second look. I don't think they're a couple, but I also couldn't say that they aren't for sure. I think there's been some recognition of attraction and natural flirtation as a result, but that's the extent of it that I'm willing to entertain.

"And do u also think like jk sometimes just use jimin bcz he sometimes behaves same with tae too???" So wait, you mean to tell me you clearly have all these issues with me respecting Jikook as individuals and their private lives by not overspeculating, but you saying shit like this is okay? Make it make sense.

__

Honestly, this submission was a little troll-y, but there were some points made that I see often enough that it was worth addressing.

[bemusedlybespectacled]

Ok. Level with me here. Im abt to turn 31. I work for the doj but as an analyst not a lawyer, and i want to go to law school. I just think that like. Im too old and mentally out of shape tbh. My current role is a lot of technical reading and data analysis - a lot of SQL and coding and API managing, not as much examination of substantive policy and im not a part of a lot of those policy driven conversations that the attorneys have. I did manage to score ok on the lsat but i just feel Dumb in a big way and its like. I couldnt break 170 on the lsat so im clearly not some hidden lawyer genius. I make (a very modest) 6 figures now and can keep climbing up the ladder in my current role but i just want to test my mettle and sometimes i think i can do it, but then other time reading about the realities of it im like god could i read 200 pages a night? For 3 years? And absorb it? And can my brain be rewired??? Obvi this is such a personal thing and you dont know me but like have you seen others do it as a 2nd career? In ur experience

I'd say about half my class was people over 30 who were coming into law as second careers. Like, one of my classmates was a nurse, two were teachers, and another one was a compliance guy for a factory? Like OSHA compliance and stuff. Not everyone is K-JD and that's okay.

I got a 161 on my LSAT, which is middling. Unless you're planning to go to Harvard, you don't need a super high LSAT score, and no one cares about your LSAT after you get into law school. I can't speak to the reading thing, because I read ~1k words per minute, so I absolutely would do some of my reading on the half hour bus ride to class. But most people are not me and they get through law school just fine.

Also, okay. There are a couple of major skills that you should either be decently good at already or capable of learning that you will need in law school and in practice.

Analysis. A lot of law school is "thinking like a lawyer," which basically means "take this one really complicated scenario and pull out the important bits and then compare those important bits to the elements of a law to see if they match." This is basically your entire first year. It's kind of like being a doctor: your job is to identify the important bits (fever, cough, sneezing, etc.) and the not important bits (what color their clothes are, whether they have a hangnail) to diagnose the disease (fever + cough + sneezing = cold).

Writing (which includes research!). You have no idea how many actual practicing lawyers I have seen who don't know how to cite a case or what a comma is.* I was a journal editor my 3L year and I actually had to have a "how to write an essay" presentation because so many people didn't know what a thesis statement was or how paragraphs work.

Public speaking. Obviously if you're planning on going into something non-litigation, like contracts, this isn't as important, but you should at least be able to answer questions on the spot without panicking and be able to be understood when speaking.**

If all of those things are things you can do or can learn, great!

IMO, it's perfectly fine to go to law school as a second career if all of the following are true:

You are comfortable enough financially to not be able to work full time for three years. This can mean scholarships/student loans, this can mean having a spouse who works, this can mean having rich parents, but you are not going to be able to hold down a 9-5 and do law school at the same time.

You are okay with basically being in college again. Law school is college except everyone can legally drink. That includes things like extracurriculars, parties, cliques, That One Really Annoying Guy In Your Class, lots of studying and taking tests and writing papers and all that. Also, yes, a lot of people talking about politics.

You've got at least a decent idea of what you want to do when you graduate. It's your second career so you should probably have a firmer grasp on what it is you want and how to get there than someone who's never worked, which includes what classes to take and what extracurriculars you should be in. You might want to throw in some stuff to be well-rounded (especially if you end up changing practice areas***) but having at least some goal is important.

All that said: you don't need to do it just to prove that you can. PLEASE don't do it just to prove that you can. Plenty of extremely intelligent people are not lawyers and there are a lot of lawyers who are total dumbasses. It's a job with a specific skillset, but so are plenty of other jobs. If any of what I just talked about isn't something you think you'd enjoy doing all day, every day, for the rest of your life, YOU DON'T NEED TO, I PROMISE.

* Also, yes, I absolutely make fun of those people in private. There is no greater cure for imposter syndrome than to read something an actual practicing lawyer actually wrote, for realsies, and think, "Well, I can't be the worst lawyer in the world, because at least I don't write like that."

** Look, I have horror stories.

** I did not take any public speaking classes or family law classes in law school and I ended up in family law litigation instead of in nice, litigation-free immigration like I wanted to.

[trixabke]

Hi! Saw your matchups open and I was wondering if I could get a romantic matchup for HQ? I'm a 5'8-ish girl with Southeast Asian features though I would sometimes be mistaken as East Asian at certain angles. I have long, straight black hair but has like this natural wave at the bottom and dark brown eyes that look closer to black. A bit chubby, but I've been losing weight mostly for health reasons but it does affect what my body looks like (I've been successful thus far!!!). I wear glasses and usually have an alt sense of style, dark makeup, heavy eyeliner, almost all black clothing (ocassional white, navy, maroon, but mostly black). My pronouns are she/they and I'm bisexual male-leaning. I'm an INTP enneagram 5w6 tritype 539, my zodiac sign is Pisces, and my hobbies mostly fall on the artistic side of the scale like drawing, writing, some arts and crafts, but I also like maths (aiming to be an architect bc it's a combo of art and maths) and research (research includes personality types if you can't tell from me giving my mbti up to tritype). I prefer reading to watching because I get bored when I watch movies (I fell asleep during End Game, it was an accident). I'm a social introvert and I'm only talkative or loud when I'm comfortable in a situation, but my social battery drains fast. Most people say I'm cold and scarily professional the first time they meet me, not to mention unreadable (my facial expressions are,,, not too readable, they usually listen to the tone of my voice for clues), but people closest to me say I'm the chillest, most laid-back person with a funny sense of humour that can talk their ear off. I've only ever gotten angry twice in my life and people prefer to avoid pushing me that far bc they said I'm scary when I'm actually angry and not just irritated or annoyed, but they also avoid getting me irritated or annoyed bc they also say my glare is scary. An addition bc I think this may help, people probably don't know if I don't like them because I don't make aggressively snappy comments towards them or hint at it, I simply ignore their whole existence and move on. My ideal type would definitely be someone who at least has the same level of maturity as me or even more and a capable leader (I've always been one of the oldest people in my friend groups and I'm the oldest sibling so I had to lead and be in charge a lot, I don't like being in charge, I'm more of an advisor or right-hand man type of person), I would prefer someone who isn't too boisterous or obnoxious bc people like that drains my energy too much. I most definitely steer myself away from immature and childish people because it forces me into a role I don't want. Maybe someone loyal and understanding would be an ideal as well because well, those two are the bare minimum if I have to be honest. Last but not least in this long ass ask, my love language is mostly quality time with a mix of physical touch (I usually don't like being touched or touching other than people who I see in a romantic and intimate light). Wowhee this is longer than my to-do list for the next five years, hope this much information helps!! Be aware that I'm fasting and have only slept like 4 and a half hrs beforehand. Thank you in advance if you answer my ask! No pressure to get it done quickly. Stay hydrated and healthy!! (This is also one of the first times I'm sending an ask without anon on and I'm kinda,,, nervous lol).

HIII, this was like so sweet :) also, if ur cool w it, u should tell me more abt the tritype thing cuz when I googled it, it seemed really cool. I love the long asks; they literally bring a smile to my face, and I'm so happy u interacted dw u did perfect! NGL, I love ppl w glasses, so u have a soft spot in my heart now <3

(also, the how u guys met part is so long I'm sorry)

(romantic) I match you with...

akaashi:

you guys probably met at a party..like just:

ok so one of your friends probably had a rough day and really wanted to go to this party, and even though u were tired, u wanted to make them happy and caved

they promised to stay away from super huge crowds as a way of thanking you

bokuto happened to convince akaashi to go to that same party

akaashi doesn't really like parties much, but he goes to mediate boktuo

He probably is trying to find bokuto a bathroom (bless the poor man) and like walks into a room of you and your friend + a couple other ppl and is like, YOOO??

because to others, you might blend in, but in his eyes, you stand out

and as the door opens, your eyes move from the conversation to him like staring into the depths of his soul, and he is half scared but also like can't take his eyes off of you because he just thinks ur so perfect

is interrupted when bokuto comes up and jumps on akaashi and announces he did indeed find a place to piss!!

akaashi just leaves, but his mind keeps wandering back to u

then, like god was listening, he sees you sitting down listening to your friends talk and is like admiring you because you look so pretty listening to ur friends talk

ur friend prob notices u getting a little overwhelmed and lets u go back home and thanks u for spending time with them

BUT before you leave, bokuto asks your friend for their number

ok ik, this doesn't make sense, but like: bokuto is not very observant, BUT when his best friend looks, so content watching u (not in a creepy way istg), he knows what he has to do

texts ur friend later and sends akaashi's number to them and tells them to send it to you

ALTHOUGH- I see this as the night akaashi met you, like, something you don't remember but something he always will

u planned to meet up after a little bit, and one day, he just said he liked you, then u just didn't respond because what?? and then u text him a couple days later saying u like him back, and it becomes official (bokuto is really proud of himself for this and tells akaashi he owes him for being so great)

Akaashi has had to deal with bokuto a lot, but I think he enjoys being able to take care of people (don't get me wrong, he loves to be praised and have compliments, he may seem calm, but on the inside, it couldn't be more different)

he understands that u need someone to be there for you instead of you being there for everybody else

he also notices everything, the signs when your social battery is running low, when you start to feel stressed and back away, or after you have just had to be emotional or in a vulnerable situation and just need to be alone

he can tell anything just by the way you blink, no matter how expressive or unexpressive you are

he likes to think very logically as well and knows the right balance of emotion to bring in, especially with you, and when he makes a mistake, he learns from it

sorry from him really does mean sorry, and he will make an effort not to do that same thing again

he also really loves that you enjoy math, him being more of a literature person

it's like a really subtle thing, but in his head, the contrast is so cool [idk if u know what this is, but it's called the olive theory (if you don't, it should be on youtube; just search up like the olive theory from how I met your mother, there is a TikTok sound that has it w like music and I think that one matches the best) but I feel like to him it's that kind of energy, like something that doesn't mean a lot to others, but it's really special to him]

(plz ignore that I just wrote a whole fucking essay on that bullet; I just felt very strongly abt that)

also does really simple little acts for you

like washing your glasses when he gets up in the morning, but always washing them with hot water, so they feel nice and warm when you put them on

if he's at the store and remembers that your toothpaste was running low, he will buy you some

the dates would be pretty chill, probably just the 2 of you somewhere private

like, sitting outside and he's reading while you draw until it gets dark and then stargazing together

if he hears you talking about something a lot, he will probably try and plan it or buy it and surprise you

there is a baseline of maturity in your relationship you both really respect

just a comfortable, safe, and understanding relationship of you both trying to better yourself for each other!

.

.

Yours is so long, oml anyway. I really hope u liked this. I had a lot of fun writing this so ty for sending a rec, and if u see any spelling errors, no, u didn't :)

do not steal my work and claim it as your own

[lvlyhao]

『127′s ideal type』

headcanons, NCT 127

A/N: je suis back~ in these headcanons i talk about the type of person i imagine each member with, along with some of the traits i think they wouldn’t be too fond of. i did NOT include physical traits (ex: “would like a short/tall/blonde s/o”) because i really don’t know them??? lmao also that kind of thing could be a bit damaging to someone’s self esteem, and i want yall to know ur perfect & beautiful so

mark and hyuck will be included in dream’s version of this, and sicheng will be in wayv’s :)

today’s gif theme is just random gifs i like bc idc, there’s no aesthetic

as always, this is gender-neutral

IF YOU LIKE MY WORK PLEASE REBLOG IT AS WELL AS LIKING IT T^T

𝓖𝓮𝓷𝓻𝓮𝓼: fluff (♡) and if you squint really hard angst (❆) bc of some REALLY small things that for me are not actual angst but oh well

𝓦𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼: i think none?? if you read this and find something you think should be here let me know please!!!

word count: 1.5K

pairing: nct 127 members x reader (includes taeil, taeyong, johnny, yuta, doyoung, jaehyun, jungwoo)

disclaimer: the characters in the story below do not reflect real people or present real facts. this is purely fictional, and you may not copy, change, translate or repost my work in any way. all rights reserved © cherry-hyejin 2021.

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

Taeil

I see Taeil getting with someone who’s not only mature (personality-wise, actual age doesn’t matter) but also very determined and decisive. He’d like a person that doesn’t change their mind about things too often, learns well from their mistakes and is just all-around balanced. Other traits that I think he’d look for: politeness, a MUST; grounded; good at giving advice. Pretty much a twin-flame of his.

I think he’d find it cute if they think in a detail-oriented way and appreciate the small things in life. A positive, grateful mentality would be SO attractive to him, I swear. 

One of his deal breakers would most likely be excessive jealousy and possessiveness. He trusts you and your love for him, and I think he’d feel distraught if you were constantly questioning the relationships he has with other people (friends, co-workers, fans, etc.)

Last important thing: needs a person that can take a hit. He’s probably looking for someone he can spend the rest of his days with, so a quitter just isn’t good for that. There will be difficult moments in the future and he needs to know they won’t give up on him and on the life he chose.

Taeyong

I think Taeyong would like a calm person that knows how to take control of the relationship. He probably feels tired sometimes from leading a group of 23 people, so I can imagine he’d be thrilled if he was able to not worry at all when he’s around his partner. He trusts they’re capable of dealing with any problems that may arise and keep their feet on the ground. Bonus points if they have a good relationship with themselves.

By that I mean: you know how people say you can’t truly love others until you love yourself? Yeah, that. He’s a person like any other, and there are times when he struggles with self-love, but he needs someone that doesn’t hate themselves, or he’ll simply go crazy. With his career come so many rumours and moments that tear at his confidence… he just doesn’t need a person that has to be convinced every single day that they’re worthy of the good things in life. 

I’d say, in general, all he asks for is someone that can watch out for themselves. He’d take care of them too, but he’d like it SO much if just for once in his life he’s the one being cared for. Would just melt on the spot if you have that caring, almost parental instinct in you. Gods, yes. That’s all I can say.

Johnny

I can see him being with a very bright, smart person. He’d like someone that comes from a different background so he could learn more about their life—whether that means the country they were born in or their field of work. I think he would appreciate a very laid back person that doesn’t get stressed too often and won’t make fun of him for his bad jokes. Also, doesn’t like people that try to play him. Honesty above all.

He’d like it if they are super curious and creative, too. Picking up new hobbies and interests is something he’d be up to anytime, and it doesn’t matter what it is either. He’d give anything a try—from knitting to marine biology, no questions asked.

Something he’d dislike is if the person is too materialistic. It’s not like he’s a completely spiritual being and lives with 0 detachments to objects but he’s a firm believer in what Antoine de Saint-Exupéry said: what is essential is invisible to the eye. And, you know, what you truly find essential is up to you; it can mean family, friends, love, hope, all of that… he just wants you to love life itself as much as he does.

Yuta

He’d probably like one of the two drastic variants: a very gentle, sweet person or someone who’s on his level of flirtatiousness and boldness. Wouldn’t mind any, but he needs a strong personality, either way, you know? No blandness here. 

Something very attractive to him is being involved in social issues and caring for the world around you. Very sexc, yes, and also likes people that make others smile.

Something that would make him quite literally give up on someone is the excessive fear of change, or just the will to remain in their comfort zone at all costs. He earns for a person that wants to live life to its fullest. If not they’re not ride-or-die to that level, then he hopes they at least accompany and support him in all of the things he wants to do. 

One thing that is very tied to that is his dislike for know-it-alls. He lives in such a diverse scenario that it’s just dumb for him to think someone would ever be capable of knowing every piece of information on everything that’s out there. He’s fine with people making mistakes, but if they can’t admit to that or admit they don’t know something he just gets pissed off. So, yeah, he’d avoid stuck-ups.

Doyoung

He’d like someone very loyal and fair, who treats people with respect but calls them out if they ever have to. I think he’d prefer a person that is naturally a deep thinker and wouldn’t lose their mind over small disagreements. 

Much like Johnny, he likes that intellectual side of yours, and when I say that I don’t mean like “ah, he’d want to date a math genius” or something. No, no. I’m referring to all types of intellectuality and intelligence. The thing for him is simply using your brain and being proud of it. He would just dislike a person that kind of lives life on autopilot, you know?

He’d like it if they’re interested or professionally involved with music somehow and would consider their opinions in his career. He wouldn’t mind if their taste is hugely different from his, though. It’s alright if pop music is not your favourite or if you have no idea who EXO is (lol). All he wants is to see the world through your eyes too, in all aspects of life including this one.

Will also love you forever if you side with him when he’s being teased by the others, because, c’mon, it’s always 22 people against poor, defenceless Doyoung. Please don’t join them, he’s begging you—

Jaehyun

This is very, very clear to me but he needs to be with an independent person. He’s quite sentimental and he has his more romantic moments, sure, but he wants someone that can give him the space he needs when he needs it. A person that’s constantly begging him for attention would be way more of a burden than anything else.

Also, he’s 100% alright with someone that has a very explicit and loud love language (like saying “I love you” 300 times a day) but he’s not like that, and he needs them to see that. Jaehyun could NOT be with a person that doesn’t appreciate the love he shows in the little things, like making coffee in the morning, and if they ever question the way he feels… yeah, not good. He’d feel misunderstood and that’s a big no-no.

He’d find it cute if they’re bubbly or just very youthful but is also capable of falling for an old soul that shares his interests in things like classical music and vinyls. I don’t think he’d ever get with someone that's kind of a tech addict, though, idk why but that’s quite clear to me. Always being on your phone or caring too much about social media would probably make him feel like you’re not grateful for the things you have around you, in real life. So, yeah, not attractive, bestie.

Jungwoo

Jungwoo is a very, very, very sweet person and he needs someone who’s also like that. He wouldn’t care if that’s there for everyone to see, in the sense that they’re not shy about it, or if it’s a part of them that only a couple of close people know. As long as it’s there, he’s happy.

Aside from that, I think he’s fully capable of falling in love with quite literally anyone. He can see the beauty in all types of people, from all places, backgrounds, races, and just—anyone. He’s just so full of love for people, ah I can’t even. He’s too good for this world.

Some things that could, however, push him away from getting to know someone: a negative way of thinking, being too traditionalistic, and too much scepticism. He’s fine with people that like to honour the past and their roots but like, you’ve gotta keep up with the world you live in and accept that things change. I think that’s very tied to how much he likes defying masculine standards, too. 

The scepticism thing is quite simple: he can handle teasing just fine but if they’re constantly making fun of him for wearing his heart on his sleeve or being a bit goofy, he’d feel kind of betrayed.

---

final notes: this is the 3rd nct work i’m posting here and i’m already writing more, so i think it’s time i set up a masterlist, a fic rec blog and a tag list. if you want to be tagged in my future fics, let me know (dm, comments, anything) :)

[ally-127]

my request... joshua angst where there's an argument on ur anniversary n you can decide whether to make it a happy or sad ending!! thx ally :-)

lisianthus

pairing: husband!joshua x reader word count: 1.6k warnings: reference to sex, slightly suggestive material music: ‘lose’ by niki a/n: okay like this is more fluff than angst,, im sorry- my mind literally blanked out when i was trying to think of what they could argue about. but enjoy this romantic af, poetic(?) piece that i also enjoyed writing ngl. thanks for requesting @chocosvt , i hope u liked it...luv u the most <3

“come on kiddos, it’s time for bed!”

you ushered your seven and three-year-old into their shared bedroom, your lips stretched wide into a grin at their playful giggles.

“goodnight, mum,” your daughter, seven, hummed as you tucked her into bed while your younger son climbed clumsily into his beside.

you dropped a kiss on her forehead and turned to your cheeky son, who still had that smile of his. you give him a huge smooch on the cheek. “goodnight, you.”

with both children wrapped up in their sheets comfortably, you flicked off the light switch and closed the door quietly behind you.

a sigh couldn’t help but escape your lips as you shuffled your way back into your room to finish up some work, but before you did, a certain glow caught your attention.

the kitchen was dark all around when you entered, lit scented candles dotted around the table and the only light source in the room.

the flames danced in the breezy air of your apartment, lighting up not only the bouquet of lisianthus on the table but your husband, joshua, who sat on one of the chairs, staring wistfully at the flowers. a glass of wine sat solitarily in front of him, the stain on the rim a sign that he had already started to drink without you.

the beat of your heart was now apparent as ounces of dread slowly settled into the pit of your stomach.

you forgot.

“are we not important anymore?” he began, taking the glass in between his fingers.

“what do you mean?” you remained standing, feeling as if the soles of your feet had been embedded into the hardwood of the floor.

“did it completely slip your mind, or am i now the least of your concerns?” continuous rhetorical questions, or rather, questions of accusations, escaped his beautiful mouth.

you could kiss it a thousand times and still, your need for them to be on your skin would never be satiated.

“jihyun and—“

“do not bring our kids into this,” joshua was painfully serene, like the calm before the storm; the storm in which you could see in the depths of his eyes. “you forgot we’ve been married for ten years.”

you cursed under your breath.

how did you forget?

bringing the subject of work into the argument was pointless now, it only seemed like an excuse.

“josh—“

“i was waiting all day,” he finally shifted his almond-shaped eyes to you. “for you to run into my arms, to kiss me, hell, even to just smile at me. but no, you didn’t even look at me once.”

joshua, on a break from being a performer, occupied himself with taking care of the children and the apartment. he had plenty of time on his hands, his heart full with a sincere wish to spend it with the people he loved most in the whole universe.

you, a full-time working mother, had recently just been promoted in your company. with new responsibility came heavy workload and a brand new project dumped into your control. it was overwhelming, and it blinded a tremendous amount of aspects in your life, including your husband himself.

you realised you didn’t even meet joshua’s eyes as he got them ready for school this morning, while he adjusted their jackets and shouldered their little backpacks to carry it for them, knowing fully what date it was.

you simply kissed your daughter and son goodbye before you took half a litre of coffee with you out the door without uttering a single word of goodbye to your lover.

now, as you stared at him from where you stood, you could feel the effects of neglecting him for the longest time hurling back to you like a tidal wave.

there was no trace of a smile, of the crinkle of his eyes, of the lines that would form at the ends of his eyes that deepened over time and with age.

the expression that stared back at you was foreign, stoic.

there‘s a saying: you don’t know what you have until it’s gone.

you knew it wasn’t gone, but the absence of his smile made your heart sink into the bottomless pit of your regret. it was a horrifying feeling.

suddenly, you wanted to do all the things he said you didn’t, smile at him, run into his arms, kiss him.

“i’m sorry,” you almost lost the capability of speaking, your voice small as you gathered enough courage to take more steps towards him. “i really am. i’m such a fool.”

he stood up, his height casting a dim shadow over you. the plastic of the wrapper crunched in his hands when he extended his arm, offering the bouquet of your favourite flowers in your favourite colour to you. joshua could never forget that.

you took them with shaky hands, eyes looking everywhere but into the abyss of his caramel eyes.

“you are not a fool, my love,” he engulfed you in his strong arms, a familiar place, a place you missed often and could call home. a place you almost forgot was your home. “you are my wife,” he kissed away the single tear of remorse that escaped the duct in the corner of your eyes. “my beautiful, strong wife.”

your head on his chest, your fingers fisted in the material of his shirt, you held on to each other for what seemed like the first time in a long time. his woody scent had the effect of waves crashing against the beach and echoes of seagulls in the distance—it calmed you immensely.

everything about joshua calmed you.

it felt like you could remain in his arms forevermore, until the morning sun rose and the lisianthus wilted in the grip of your hands.

“i love you,” you told him, quietly, setting the bouquet aside to sink into his touch.

these were the words he wanted and needed to hear the most, to reassure himself that you did still love him the way he loved you, to make sure that work had not completely overtaken your senses.

“i love you too.”

fingers rubbing your back in soothing strokes, joshua kissed your temple, then the tip of your nose. to reach your lips he had to angle his head in the slightest, long eyelashes fluttering as he reached his destination.

a hum of satisfaction escaped your lips, conjoined with his, knowing fully that you didn’t deserve it yet you savoured every minute. your arms were secure around his neck, not a millimetre of space to be seen between your torso and his.

as joshua pulled away to gasp for air, he reached into his pocket for his phone, tapping away at the screen. half a second later, music began to play from the speakers he had installed on the corners of the ceiling.

your husband enjoyed music, thrived in it. it was his natural element, his escape from everything and life itself.

“dance with me, darling,” he whispered as louis armstrong blew the first few notes of his trumpet, a light melody that entranced your step into aligning with your lover’s, barefoot in the kitchen, head on his shoulder.

“remember in college,” you pondered, reminiscing the iridescent days of your youth. “when we would dance around the communal kitchen in the refrigerator light?”

“when i snuck out of the dorms to visit you half-past two in the morning?” the smile on his face reminded you of how much you truly longed for it, like a breath of fresh air after being suffocated for so long.

he grinned at you like you were back in the heart of a bustling city, of seoul, the thrill of the unexpected running through your veins like a drug. you found an impossible love, forcing the rebellion, suppressed deep enough in yourself until you forgot about it, to resurface again as you met him.

you had never felt as daring as you did when you first saw him.

“we lost so much sleep,” the airy sound of your chuckle urged joshua to tug you closer, dancer feet still in time with the rhythm of jazz buzzing in the background.

“first college, then jihyun,” the way in which your daughter’s name left his lips made the knot in your heart twist, your entire being captivated by his voice.

he twirled you around, stars—no, the entire galaxy—sparkling in those brown eyes as you spun to meet him once more.

“and jiyoung,” the sound of your youngest son’s name elicited a permanent smile from your husband, perfect teeth peeking through.

“i don’t regret a single second of it,” he said, mellifluous in tone, filled with content.

“i don’t either,” sometimes, the possibility of being in love for so long was a question to you that you could not answer.

magic doesn’t exist, but it did then, in that night, surrounded by wicks, aglow in passion, organic scent of lemongrass wafting in the air.

jazz-driven steps, hungry gazes and the brush of his fingers under your sweater made you wonder if you were back in the era of your faded youth. it was as if you were reliving each night of delirium once again, of heated sex in the darkness of your compact bedroom, of muted grunts and the slapping of skin that reverberated off the chipped walls.

joshua lifted the sweater up your head, up your arms. the music, transitioning ever so timely from armstrong to the weeknd, your eyes widening and your hips swaying ever so slightly to the bass. his grin twisted into a smirk, eyes narrowing in desire and the previous storm behind them calming into a wave of dirty intentions.

“take the week off for me, love,” kisses were peppered down your neck to your collarbone as he whispered each word into your skin.

you promised him you would, and you did.

[witch-hazels-musings]

guess fell asleep to early and woke in the middle of the night :D (i am not proud of myself. pls manage ur sleep schedules well)

but YEAH seeing diluc and kaeya being,,, well, diluc and kaeya,,, their sibling relationship is adorable, idk about you all but it's kind of clear that they still very much care about each other. better bickering than ignoring, to be honest.

which brings me to my next point: imagine being their older sibling! I'm going to go with a big sister because that's where my experience lies (hehe), and also because i've seen more of them having younger siblings rather than an older one.

this can go so many ways, including her acting more like the younger sibling, lol. maybe she hasn't been seen around mond because she's an adventurer who left home a long time ago, or perhaps a scholar studying in some faraway nation. whatever it is, most people didn't know the ragnvindr brothers had a predecessor.

i'd love if she's shorter than both of them: i headcanon her signature move to be getting in between them then grabbing both their ears and giving them a pull when she has enough of their bickering. both brothers hold her in high regard, and it's kind of funny to see two perfectly capable, not to mention powerful young men look like grumpy puppies in front of this lady who has her arms crossed. have i mentioned that they also fought for her praise in the past?? one will get especially salty to the other if only one of them gets told they did an amazing job. diluc pouts while kaeya huffs, both avoiding eye contact with you.

whether she can engage in combat or not is flexible, but for me personally i see her more as a scholar. there has been an incident where she just had enough of their teasing, so she threw the nearest object she had— which happened to be some books. one nailed diluc right in the forehead that sent him stumbling back, and as kaeya cackled at his brother’s misfortune, another, slightly heavier one smacked him right in the nose, knocking him to the ground. another one was when she defended herself from a treasure hoarder with a thick textbook by hitting him repeatedly on the head. up til now, sometimes, when they see her pull out a book they can't help but flinch/freeze up 💀

but also because she's the mother figure neither of them never had 🥺 back when diluc was cavalry captain, and now kaeya, she would bring them food if they ever forgot, checking in every once in a while to make sure they're not overworking themselves. takes care of the boys whenever they get sick, and also scolding them because most of the time it’s either because of kaeya’s antics (sneaking out with diluc to play in the thunderstorm), or diluc training to hard. she also likes to brush and tie their hairs, often petting, ruffling, and running her fingers through them. when they were little, if one of them gets nightmares, they sometimes crawl into her bed late at night and she'll wake up with little keaya or diluc nestled in her arms, falling back asleep with a smile on her face.

when crepus’s death happened, she tried her best to console both boys, not wanting her family to fall apart permanently because her father wouldn't want that. she doesn't want that. she loved them both too much.

she saved her tears for a few days later, by his grave after thinking both brothers were gone, asking where she went wrong, and if there ever was a chance for them to be together again. little did she know, both of them where listening from different places.

a few years before the traveler came, she left to study in sumeru, a small part of it due to her not being able to stand the suffocating tension between the brothers. her heart hurts just thinking about it. i headcanon it was during her leave that they eventually started trying to at least acknowledge each other again, to be civilized, if not for their father, then for her. they'd meet up at his grave sometimes and that's when talking was, ironically, a little easier.

that's all i can think of rn, i need to go back to sleep because tomorrow’s actually a very important day— but yeah! feel free to add anything. i bid you (and everyone else reading this) a good night <3

- 🍡

wowow! look at these head-canons 

you put so much time and effort into these and ugh, I bet being another sibling in their family would have made such a huge impact on them. T.T 

and then you make it sasddddd with Crepus’s passing - man the strength to be put together in front of others is so intense and (I love this character trope so much - probably because its how I want to be) 

these were very lovely and *mwuah* thank you for sharing!!

[illnessfaker]

[ cw: f-slur, rape mention ]

no reblogs pls. this is a long vent.

haha not to be a hysterical faggot crippled shut-in freak or anything but the way ppl talk abt the defensiveness around the f-slur that some gay/bi male users (and some transfem users) on here as if it's some kind superiority pissing contest thing and not primarily about...respecting the boundaries and experiences of those gay/bi male (and transfem) users. like...being on this site as a fag-adjacent person (i say that half-jokingly because it sounds silly on one hand but on the other that's the most accurate descriptor of my gender identity, lol) is becoming increasingly draining and upsetting with how "progressive" homophobia against gay/bi men is apparently becoming, like, a meme among lgbtq people and that's acceptable somehow bc lgbtq people aren't cishets or because it's "only online" and therefore doesn't matter.

like idgaf abt ppl who aren't gay/bi men (or transfem) using the f-slur in every single context possible. if they're affectionately referring to their gay/bi male (or transfem) friends with that word (so long as said friends are comfortable with it) that's one thing. who cares. i even rb'd something where a cis butch (iirc) lesbian was talking about a gay man she knew who she was affectionatly calling a faggot and the things she said warmed my heart. if they're throwing it around at every opportunity or using it as an edgy insult against random strangers on the internet, that's another. the users on here who do the latter also regularly display behavior that like...shows a pretty clear disdain for gay/bi men (or transfem ppl) not apart of their online or "irl" circlejerks and echo chambers, and that is in no way disconnected from their love of using the f-slur, lol.

the "it's only online and so it's unimportant uwu go outside" thing also really feels like such a spit in the face as someone who both lives in a rural area full of cishet white men with guns that might try to kill me if i walked out of the house in drag (not to mention i live with my bf and his family and his parents are homophobes themselves i'm sure), and is also someone with health issues that usually keep me at home and in bed when i'm not working. i didn't always live here but even in my hometown the only "lgbtq space" i had was the high school GSA which didn't do shit other than the day of silence and was attended by people i did not feel safe around (e.g. my ex-friend who was very emotionally manipulative and ended up raping someone.) i don't have any other lgbtq spaces to go to other than online ones. if i never joined tumblr i might still be a self-hating cishet girl, or i might be dead, who knows. like, i've accepted at this point that personhood isn't something i'm allowed in (outside of my whiteness) so fuck me i guess if we need to but the idea that other young, impressionable, and/or traumatized lgbtq people who only can meet other lgbtq people and learn about lgbtq things online for whatever reason don't deserve to have us make an effort on cultivating internet spaces that are as accessible and safe for them as possible, or that their experiences and feelings are somehow unimportant is just...vile. like ofc not everyone needs to "pander" to "logged on" disabled fags like myself maybe but if you have any kind of large following on social media maybe consider that the things you say and do on said social media have like...an actual effect on other people instead of pretending that it's "just online" and therefore consequences for your actions either don't matter enough (to you personally) or somehow don't exist.

but going back to the fag thing, most popular lgbtq tumblr users on my dash i see nowadays just...simply do not give a shit whatsoever about gay/bi men, to the point they're normalizing "progressive" and "acceptable" homphobia against us bc they've convinced themselves due to the bigotry some gay/bi men (often cis, white, and wealthy mind you) exhibit we are "the cishets of the lgbtq community," despite horrific violence still being committed against us every day and despite other lgbtq people being capable of engaging in that violence themselves. ppl make thinly veiled jokes and memes where the punchline is men having sex with each other or effeminacy as if those things aren't primary avenues for gay/bi men being abused, assaulted, and killed (including acts of abuse and assault of a sexually-driven nature), as if said jokes and memes don't serve to normalize the mentalities that drive homophobic hate crimes. it's not like...a coincidence that most lgbtq people who makes these jokes aren't gay/bi men (or transfem). this doesn't even get into how things like homophobia and anti-effeminacy can pretty much boot certain gay/bi men from manhood...or womanhood...or any place in gender altogether.

call me exlusionary if you want but i think it's fair to say that the chances of people who aren't gay/bi men (or transfem*) facing the repurcussions of those mentalities in any meaningful way, the chances of these people actually having lived as or going to live as "faggots" is any meaningful sense is slim to none, and that's why they're so comfortable participating in this shit, and that's why i'm triggered(tm) by them "reclaiming" faggot (which doesn't really involve reclamation bc calling random strangers on the internet or gay/bi men you hate a slur isn't reclamation you morons), because frankly if you're not apart of either of those groups, you're just not a fucking faggot. it's not your word just because some rando on overwatch called you it for picking hanzo in comp. period. end of story. it's also just extremely absurd to try and claim faggotry as something you experience while...readily and happily engaging in homophobia and fag-hate (which isn't synonymous with the former term but i'm talking abt ppl who probably seldom ever engage which discussions and theory surrounding how homophobia instrumentates itself in society - or at least that which doesn't conform to their worldview). within the gay/bi male community there's plentu of masc "straight-acting" gays who weaponize this shit against fem gays and they (should) get held accountable in the same way. you're not special.

and god, being told my gendered experiences as a fag-adjacent person where (white) cafab women are fully capable of engaging in social forms of "oppression" against me and other fags in undeniably gendered ways is somehow an outlier and therefore not reflective of broader social by (white) masc urbanite tbros with definitively more social standing than i'll ever have in my life, as if i somehow developed this understanding of gendered violence just based off my own life and not...the reported and sometimes even recorded experiences of countless other fags who get mocked and silenced because anything that deviates from a watered down, shoddy cis feminist take on gender is fake news(tm) or bordering on saying misandry exists (like no it doesn't exist but acting as if homophobic shit like anti-sodomy laws, for example, has zero to do with gay/bi men's manhood is just nonsensical). convos on here abt gender being mostly dominated by (white) cafab women or sometimes (white) masc trans guys is such a mistake lmao.

anyway i'm tired and stressed and pretty done with having "acceptable" homophobic shit shoved in my face on a daily basis both online and offline but nevertheless i must persist because i'm not lucky enough to have anywhere else to go, really. just...think critically abt ur actions regarding gay/bi male sexuality and gender-stuff pretty please. please.

( *disclaimer just in case that i definitely don't see transfems as some "type" of gay/bi men. there are transfems who identify with gay/bi manhood and/or faggotry. there are transfems who don't. that's entirely up to them. thank u. )

[forme-withme]

ive seen a few others post their thoughts on the black so i figured I’d do the same! serious spoilers under the read more!

I’ll start with the designs:

I’ll admit the transition to cgi was something that I was really dreading while watching the trailers, but once I got into the show it really faded into the background on the humans and looked really cool with the kaiju. 

As for the designs themselves, the people were largely Basic Anime Protagonists and there’s not much to talk about there, but the kaiju! oh, the kaiju. Copperhead’s colors and the detailing with black made it really stand out. And then there’s the dogs! puppies! super super fun n funky and felt very much an organic transition from the giant kaiju and seems to be a subtle nod to the ideas posed at the end (which i will get into later) and then that leaves Apex and Boy’s designs! Apex is a pretty straight forward Jaeger design that has only slightly been Kaijufied but I think the front acting as literal eyes was cool as well as the way they animated the attempted driftings. Boy was really interesting because they were so sure to make him Different and his color schemes as well as the size-difference was a really interesting way to do that. Having the literal dark vs light fight at the end was fun and appropriately on the nose for a pacific rim spinoff. 

And now for the plot and characters:

The plot, while fun and with no huge errors or egregious mishandlings of the franchise, was mostly predictable and typical of anything in this vein. There were genuinely quite a few scenes that had me either feeling for the characters or genuinely shocked (joel :( u deserved better. also that was cheap shock-value but at least it made sense within the story and what shane is capable of) 

My first real issue (besides the main conceit of abandoning australia and why the kaiju don’t go towards  comes almost immediately with the pacing. Why would we care about all of these people in this encampment when we have spent all of 5 minutes with them. Their voice actors aren’t even in the credits because they have so few lines. We are told they were friends but never really shown it. After they leave, the pacing gets truly terrible. The boy is introduced and clearly breaks out on his own, which no one notices. For some reason. And eats a butterfly which good for him but I’m not really sure why they did that if they wanted any kind of reveal that he was part Kaiju. Then they’re taken to the camp and the show spend just as long on a deal for some eggs as they did in that first place (not to mention hayley immediately accidentally causes more deaths which is. an interesting thing to keep up) and we stay at this camp for entirely too long,(seriously? 3 out of 7 episodes?) considering shane and mei’s interactions show clearly there is something More and something Wrong between them. It was extremely easy to note for note see what would happen in the fight after they leave: ooh shocker the boy is fine. i did think it was a good enough way to portray that to the characters, though, since they had their back turned every time he ate something a human shouldn’t or slapped it out of his hand or fully refused to interpret the things he was staring wistfully at even though they found him in a literal tube of the stuff we see them preserving kaiju parts (including Alice) in the movies. After leaving the camp, because they spent so long there they have to race to the finish line. They establish ghost drift side effects (which. was ghost drifting a canon word before this or did they take the word we used to explain side effects and use it for literal ghosts. also what year is this set it please i dont understand-) and also bring in Loa malfunctioning (not review but. im thinking shes a little more advanced than she’s supposed to be when taking into account her snide remarks and “unintentional sarcasm” as joel puts it. like once agian: would be highly predictable given everything but shes simply the funniest one around) and then after this they meet back up w mei and she has one of the better cut scenes with her in the restaurant remembering trauma cut with the dance scene which while out of place was v cute and honestly yeah. sometimes you remember a trauma and go ok tabling that. and then get up and dance w ur friends and then the Reveals happen (which. why would they know for sure that it’s the precursors and not the ppdc’s work still? Taylor seemed pretty confident that it wasn’t their military even though it was in their labs and the whole initial idea behind the jaegers was to ‘make monsters of our own’) and the fight happens and then it’s over! And also the sisters that are mentioned Once are there talking abt the Kaiju Messiah which while an interesting tie in to the kaiju cult from the movies was. a rlly weird and laughable line to end the season on. 

i just realized I was very negative there but overall I thought it was a fun show despite the pacing issues. I think the things they chose to revamp or callback to were interesting and good choices and it’s clear that we’re going to be getting a lot of the answers to questions in the next season (besides probably why they left australia in the first place but I digress) I thought the acting was well done and the character relationships were fairly strong for what is a 7 episode show: the siblings clearly cared about each other, didn’t do anything outrageously out of character to further the plot, mei (and joel while he was there) felt an organic addition to the group, and the villain felt like enough of a threat to keep things moving even when kaiju weren’t around. 

Ultimately I think I feel about the show the same way I do about uprising: It’s fun. There’s a lot you have to ignore to see it that way, but it brings up some interesting ideas and has a lot to offer if you can get past the issues.

[nighttimepixels]

Heyhey Night! I have a buncha questions after seeing all your animations and they're just so cool so! I hope this is ok!! Can u animate normally too, or only pixel? Not that that's bad, just wondering! What's ur preferred kinda animation? Do u prefer lipflaps or lipsyncs? What's the hardest part of the animation process?? What's ur favorite?? Any part u don't like? What's a thing people don't see that u put a lotta time into? Do u have a fave animation u've done? Thank u btw for all ur art!!

Oh stars, okay, yeah- I’m happy to answer all these!! I’ll break them up so it’s easier to read X) And awww geez thank you so much for your support, sweet anon! It really makes my day when people say they like anything I’ve made, and stars knows it’s all the more true with the sweet sweet time sink that is animation   (´•̥̥̥\\ヮ\\•̥̥̥` )

I’ll also put this under a cut since it gets a bit long :)

Can u animate normally too, or only pixel?

This one cracks me up a little, don’t worry about it XD I totally can! In fact I enjoy it a lot - and... gods, animation software is a nightmare and a half, to be honest. That’s the biggest hurdle.

I do just straight up love pixel art and the aesthetic I can achieve with it, but I do at times miss ‘normal’ (non pixel?) animation, heh. Especially sound-syncing! I do all my pixel art in Asesprite which imo is the best pixel art program, not to mention made by an actual pixel artist - buuuut it doesn’t have a sound file option. Which makes sense! Er, frankly, most pixel artists wouldn’t... use it to animate like I do? More for games, or for looping gifs? So I can’t complain much, it makes a lot of sense that it’s a low dev priority.

Now, when it comes to other animation programs... I’ve tried a lot. Unfortunately, the ones that are preferable for the feel I like are either way out of budget (stares at TVPaint in the distance) or... well, have too high a learning curve for my single-person workflow, really. (OpenToonz, sigh...) And a lot of the free programs are good for getting a start in animation, but once you get to a certain point you really feel the limitations (whether it’s workflow, sound import, exports, trying to make something more finished than a rough...).

Then... there’s animation programs I just don’t like, and a lot of those are angled towards bone-style animations (nothing wrong with those, they just don’t fit my style? and are too much time investment for a single artist to output more quickly...), or are, well, freakin’ Adobe Animate.

I... gods, I do not like Animate (formerly Flash). And I made a whole 2 minute+ animation in it a couple years ago! (It’s very rough and bad and doesn’t make sense, pfff, not gonna link it XD) It’s... clunky, and vector oriented, and freaking lines don’t go where I want them too, and it tries to predict too much?? It’s hard to put to words, gah. For me, my animation style would be much more... raster oriented. Flow, hand drawn inbetweens, yaddayadda. Animate’s great for... plenty of things, but not for that kind of animation. There are far better animators than I who make it work with freakin’ aplomb though! So really, it’s just my taste, haha.

.... Er, that got long! I’ll cut off more rambling about animation software and tl;dr boil it down to “I love animating period, but turnaround is something I have to keep in mind as a freelancer, as well as budget, and my current focus is pixel animations for a number of reasons.” X)

What's ur preferred kinda animation?

I’m not exactly sure what this one means! Between pixel and non-pixel? Er, they both have their pros and cons, so I couldn’t say! But if I have to break down my current animations into categories, I’d say I have cutscenes, loop environments, and the broad game-like animations...

The first would be something like this animation feat. teasing Edge, the second would be something like this one with skesgo’s Starlan and Cinnamon, and the third is... everything else! From headsprite loops to ‘small’ characters running and so on.

Honestly, they’re all a lot of fun for different reasons! Cutscenes are generally the most challenging, but they give me the chance to push my limits and try and pull off something cool, whether I’m having to conserve frames (to keep the cost of a commission down) or whether I’m going more all out (which is a pricey commission, or a fun personal project, lol).

Loop environments are their own challenge - it may not look like it, but I put a lot of thought into how to make them look as natural as possible! From timing of talking characters, to where to place a blink, to exactly how many frames it’ll take to ‘soften’ a motion (so people aren’t just snapping between major poses) and so on - it takes... a lot of time to animate even simple scenes well, so I do a lot of mental math on how I can keep things affordable when someone approaches me for a commission. And frankly, I totally undercharge;; but I do my best!

Game-like animations are just fun. They range, they’re silly, to intense (I’ve animated fight animations before for game concepts), to indulgent, and beyond! Headsprites are always a delight, especially if I get to push the expression X) and I love tiny things (I mean... I am a pixel artist...) so getting to make lil tiny babs even just walking can be fun - and also, a lot more time consuming than you might thing, esp if you wanna make it smooth, like this lil Frisk I did last month or so:

Do u prefer lipflaps or lipsyncs?

oTL

B... both??

Okay, lipsyncing basically is very time consuming. AND, I freakin’ love it. I love puzzles, and when it boils down to it, that’s what super fun & expressive lip syncing is (some Ghibli animations are the heckin’ best for this)...

and, I’m a pixel artist, without sound-syncing capabilities in her main art program oTL Yeah, I can export frames and line them up and check but... gods, it’s so time consuming. I’ve tried it out of desperation - but for even five seconds of sound (sayyyyy a lil Vine...) that’s hours upon hours of transferring back and forth just to check.

So even though I love lipsyncs, they’re too time-consuming (and ergo, if I’m being commissioned, often too expensive) to do often! Someday I’d like to get back to doing them more often, but for now, practically I stick to/’prefer’, in the loosest terms, to do lipflaps. For the layman, this is that ‘two frame’ (maybe three) open-closed style of animating mouths- however, I’m working on ways to keep that style, but make it more expressive! It depends on the project - and in commissions, I’ll pretty much always prioritize giving the client a little more body animation than mouth animation, unless it’d really fit what they’ve requested.

What's the hardest part of the animation process??

.... damn, this is a tough one! Sometimes I’d say it’s the initial concept work - but it depends on what I have to work with. Sometimes that parts a breeze - and honestly freeing, bc I can take the time to try and push what I’ll do with it!

Roughing is one of my favorite parts, tbh. It can be tricky, sure, but getting to go from keyframes to in-betweens & smears to adding the flairs of secondary motion (think hair swishing, or coats flaring, etc) is so exciting and satisfying.

From there it’s all refining, and tweaking...

Hm. Honestly, the hardest is probably the initial cleanup and lining. It’s cool to see it come together, but it feels so much slower, and it can drag - and then you find bits that actually don’t translate well from the rough stage, so you have to go back and rework, and oof it can just drag in this phase, heh. Plus, I’m always tempted to add more frames, but it’s not always realistic - I’m a perfectionist, to say the least, so I’m constantly having to leash myself back so I don’t turn a project into a half-a-year undertaking, pff.

What's ur favorite??

Probably gave myself away talking about the roughing stage X) It’s just loose and fun and free! But seeing it all come together is also damn satisfying too, so that’s not to say I don’t like the refining portions either...

Outside of that, I also really like the beginning of the color stage! .... Before having to translate shadows/highlights to each and every frame *shudders*. That gets tedious, but it’s so critical! Anyways, though, I heckin’ love colors. I always have a rough palette in mind at the start of the process, but I go ham and play with it as a little break and a true test when I get to actual slap together a full frame with full color, highlights/shadows included! It’s exciting, like a preview of the finished product, basically :D

Any part u don't like?

Heh, by the time I get to shadows/highlights, I tend to be getting impatient, I suppose. It’s not that I don’t like it - I definitely highly value it, and if it was the only thing I was working on in an animation that’d be different, but as a one-woman team I’m just raring to be done at that point; it’s very nearly the last thing I do, after all, so it’s a struggle to focus. X)

I suppose one that always gets me is more complicated backgrounds. It’s a work in progress, as I’m getting better and finding the fun in them for sure! But I’m still not where I want to be in translating ‘background concept’ to ‘finished background’ - it feels more stiff than my animations, I guess. So it’s a frustrating part... but hey, it’s part of it! And learning to embrace the challenge is a big help.

... I just always have to make sure I have a big cup of coffee and a good jam playlist going when I sit down to do ‘em, in the meantime.(=▿= ||||)

What's a thing people don't see that u put a lotta time into?

Definitely the coloring. This goes for both backgrounds and the animated characters themselves. It’s... never as simple as it looks? It’s time consuming, and while some parts of frames can be copy-pasted, I also put subtle work into the animations that mean that some pixels are off so it ends up being marginally faster to just recolor, but then there’s shadows, and working in pixels means that if I miss one then there’s a flickering pixel mid-animation, and sometimes there’s an unconnected line and then you bucket fill the whole damn thing, and gods know I’ve got colored lines so I have to be exacting with keeping the same ratios highlighted vs darker in shifting frames...

*deep breath*

... Yeah, basically the coloring is super time consuming. And balancing bg coloring with animated elements in the image itself is a whole extra challenge on top of that. For 99% of my animations, I can damn near guarantee I’ve spent at least twice as much time coloring it as I have animating it.

Do u have a fave animation u've done?

*looks at my goblin hoard of animations in horror like I’ve been asked to choose a favorite child*

... Stars above, I can’t choose! I love them all, and at this point a good portion of them are commissions- it wouldn’t feel right to choose!

*...carefully covers the hoard’s metaphorical ears*

... also, that said, I can admit a soft spot for any of them that involve humor. I tend to get to do extremely expressive faces and action there, even if I have to ration the frames, so it turns out really fun X)

And though rough and I’ve definitely done stuff I’m more proud of, I still crack up at this one I did a while back of the nonsense ‘ass’ joke between Red & Stretch... their faces were too much fun XD I’ve gotten waybetter since then though, Big Oof, I see so many things I can fix; might go back and redo it someday.

Honestly, though, I just freakin’ love animating! They all have their ups and downs andI always put a lot of love into them and find a way to have fun with it and try to push any emotion/theme (when applicable). I like to think it shows, but idk, that’s something I have to leave up to you guys X)

[dcathwithoutglory-blog]

it’s jay. again. my browser just crashed. so i’m just gonna copy and paste my old intro. there’s no time to try and make it better. rip !

⌊ priyanka chopra, cis woman, antigone ⌉ ⏀ have you spoken to ALEXANDRA “ALEXA” MEHRA recently? the THIRTY-FOUR year old who’s been in seneca for SEVEN YEARS or so? either way, they always seem to remind me of FLOWERS PLACED ON A GRAVE, A RUSTY COMPASS, STORMS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT whenever i see them on main street. on a good day they’re pretty MORALISTIC, but they can also be RESISTANT. ⌊ jay, 19. est, she/her ⌉

the story of antigone that y’all probs already know but jic.

triggers: brief implication of incest but like wbk, brief mention of suicide, death, creon bein a bitch

brief overview of antigone (character + eponymous story):

antigone was born to oedipus and jocasta.

we all know what happened there. after that, oedipus was like “see no evil feel no evil” and jocasta yeet’d out of living.

her brothers went to war against each other. when creon ascended to the throne, he allowed burial for eteocles with honors, but was like “lmao if u bury polyneices i will kill u”

but antigone was like ‘lmao SURE JAN’ and tried to convince ismene, her sister, to help her bury polyneices. ismene was like ‘ok that’s a rly bad idea like good luck but count me out tbh.’

antigone is rly bad at digging graves tho so polyneices’s body was found and creon was like ‘oh my GOD’ and she’s like ‘fuck the government viva la morality!’

then creon was like ‘ok anyway rmr when i said u wld die if u buried polyneices so ig now u have to be buried alive in a tomb’ then antigone was like ‘actually i’ll be hanging myself before u can do fuck the government’

then he was like ‘at least u’ll be dead! oh wait -

Y’ALL GO SAVE EVERYONE’ but then it was too late

antigone and his son had both killed themselves and everyone, including himself, were just like

“get WREKT creon!!!!!”

alexa ( play despacito ).

triggers: suicide (x2), death (x3), mental illness implications, war, brief mentions of torture and murder

ok now onto alexandra ! so, like i did for valda, i looked up names that shared the same meaning as ‘antigone’ (which essentially means “against”) and one of the suggestions was alexa but i also wanted it to sound. super valiant. but at the same time. i wanted it to be something that could have a conversational nickname. so im already hc’ing that she has ‘despacito’ saved on her phone. also alexandra is my middle name so like?? stan list?? OK ANYWAY.

alright, so alexandra was born to a very upper-class family. her father was a politician and her mother was a successful lawyer. they provided well for the perfect nuclear family –– two sons, two daughters, a golden retriever, two cats in the yard life used to be so hard now everything is easy cause of-

like... her early life, say birth to age 14, was... nice. actually normal and nice. have i ever done that before? has my own edgelord ass ever done that before? i don’t think so.

which is why things obviously took a turn for the worse

but yeah. when she was 14, she was like “hey mom idk how to do pre-algebra” (a mood) but there was no response from her mom. so shrug city, you know? she just went to her older sister instead. but like... so much time passed.... and nothing....

finally, this nosy bitch decided to be like “ok i’m gonna go see what tf she’s doing” and that was just... a terrible idea. instead of finding her mom doing her nails or talking on the phone or any number of reasons she may not have come out yet, she found her mother hanging from the ceiling fan.

she tried to get her brothers’ and sister’s help, and they tried so desperately to help (you know, while also calling 911 and their father), but it was to absolutely no avail.

after this hella traumatizing experience, the children grew closer as the father grew farther.

he began getting lost in his own mind, sometimes accidentally mixing the past with the present, a la willy loman style. he would hold slight conversations with their ‘mother’ while at the table, then began holding them with various others from the past. it was pretty clear that his mind had just been looking for an excuse to snap, and the death of his wife had been the perfect scapegoat.

although it had originally just affected him in his home life, he began holding said conversations in the presence of people outside his family.

this is not good for a politician.

i mean it’s not good for anyone but...

his support immediately began dropping. his team gradually left him, finding there was no way he would ever be able to gain another victory if he kept on living in a limbo between the past and the present. given that he’d started ‘talking to his brother’ during one of his speeches... 

rest in peace to his career.

alexa (play despacito) was 18 at the time, her sister - 20, one of her brothers - 21, the other - 24.

they were all legal adults! some of them had even moved out! so their father figured his next move would not affect him in the way their mother’s death had!

so he shot himself.

the only people who showed up at his funeral were alexa and her sister. her eldest brother proclaimed that flying across the country would be too much of a hassle for that, and the other brother simply did not respond.

her eldest brother did, however, enlist in the army after setting legalities in place that would allow him to send money back to his siblings. he had joined simply because it was an easy opportunity (what with all of the propaganda), but his decision prompted the other brother to do the same –– this time because he was talented at ‘the art of fighting.’

and bc more money but like... get wrekt.

alexa’s sister dropped out of college to work a full-time job –– one that paid fairly handsomely. alexa took some odd jobs.

aka, everyone was trying to make money.

creon was right when he said “money! nothing worse”

so things kind of dipped when the eldest brother was killed. after an accusation that he’d become a traitor, their other brother had taken it upon himself to ‘anonymously’ torture and shoot him. but the other side did it!

which everyone knew was a lie.

because of the accusations, he was not only not allowed a military funeral, he was also not meant to be buried in any honorable fashion. instead, his body was returned to his hometown to be buried there following a quiet and uneventful funeral.

his grave was left unmarked.

nonetheless, the grave was visited every day, new flowers laid atop.

meanwhile, their other brother was considered a newfound military icon. he’d gotten rid of a ‘traitor’ (they continued to pretend it was someone from the other side, of course), he’d killed many an enemy, he’d done this and that and this and that and it all made him look so morally grey to alexa and her sister (who, granted, had yet to find out he’d killed their other brother), but like such a white knight to his fellow soldiers.

he truly rose in the ranks. it was what he was meant to do.

but the more he killed, the more he tortured, the lack of grief towards his brother’s death...

alexa’s sister wasn’t buying her hypothesis. it wasn’t necessarily because she saw their other brother was some pure being, but because she simply didn’t believe he was capable of that.

the next time alexa saw her brother, she got confirmation enough. what to do with the information, she wasn’t sure, but she knew she had to do something...

murder wasn’t the solution... she didn’t have any military connections that would allow for her to spout some lie about why he needed to be dishonorably discharged... but what he did couldn’t skate by...

to this day, she is still wondering what she can do to fuck him over. his success in the military keeps growing grander and grander, thus rendering any fake dishonorable discharge excuses completely moot. her sister still doesn’t believe that there really is a solution –– that, while it is greatly harmful, there’s absolutely nothing they can do and ruminating on it is worthless –– trying to find some quest to defeat their own brother is absurd.

although she has since moved to seneca, attracted to its small town appeal, she continues to visit her eldest brother’s grave every week –– it’s about a two hour drive, so it’s worth it.

she’s taken up work as a cemetery caretaker

because of COURSE she would.

and, although its pay is.... lousy, she’s been making due. for the tombstones no one visits any longer, first she’ll look them up to make sure they weren’t slave-owners or anything, she’ll bring them their own flowers. the dead deserve just as much respect as the living, hm?

personality.

i just realized i didn’t do this for valda (aka, i’m about to update her intro with it), but a total enneagram type 2.

too empathetic for her own good, too ‘this person whom i do not even know deserves flowers’ for her own good, too ‘i’ve got to protect _______ by doing _________’ for her own good

a capricorn

so driven by her own moral compass, she does not CARE about anything that says she has to go against it

her moral compass can be super faulty sometimes tho

pretty quick to make assumptions tbh, but has so far been right abt most of them.

so also driven by gut feelings ig

dramatic tbh. i mean she’s the adapted version of a character whose first lines contained “there's nothing, no pain—our lives are pain” SO.

also p independent (as in i said valda was independent), but her vendetta isn’t against men in general, rather just her brother who is still alive

so like,,, that said,,, holds grudges.

im bad at personality sections!! as has been stated before!! but i think the gist has been gotten across!!

wanted connections.

so rn i only have one specific one which is her sister and can be found on the wc page

will come up w/ unique ones later but until then open 2 hearing urs/brainstorming!

tl;dr.

(refer to triggers listed before the bullets.) a lot of death? like mom kills herself then dad turns into willy loman then dad kills himself. brothers both join the army. one brother kills the other brother for being accused of being a ‘traitor.’ said brother doesn’t get a proper funeral and his headstone is unmarked. the other brother rises in the rankings and alexa knows what happened. convinced her sister of it, but her sister is more logical and let her know that she was very angry too, but making her entire life about it would do nothing but endanger herself and others. moved to seneca because she liked the small town feel. still visits her eldest brother’s grave every week to leave flowers. works as a cemetery caretaker bc WHY NOT. brings flowers to graves that are either unmarked or no longer visited. i hope you read all of that and just thought ‘oh my god fckin EDGELORD’ because you’re right.

alright ! fin.

like this or hmu if you’d like to plot !

[homestucky]

ok ok this is like not anything new but still since i havent been on here i havent fully ranted about this yet. big long rant incoming

re the epilogue (spoilers etc)

ok. i have onl y read meat. but fucking? dirk? dirk? ok? dirk??

no.

i am aware of what happens in candy. i know he dies.

i also know in the version i read, in meat, he becomes his ultimate self, all versions of dirk. as many people have said, this includes AR, this includes bro, this includes even to some degree, LE. its an interesting idea ill give you that. but its also.... shitty and not backed enough by well, anything?

so heres my personal rant about the shitty things in Meat.

when i first finished it i couldnt help but think. was the dirk narrative even necessary? on the one hand it was meant to be the MAIN PLOT and it defined the narration etc, but.... it honestly didnt seem to have any importance. i know it was likely  a set up to imply future stuff like making the next sburb or whatever but like

who CARES? why on earth would that be interesting or important? maybe im crazy but like, the ‘b plot’ which was mostly about character relationships and jobs in earth c, was compelling and enjoyable. the narrative with john ‘not important and not the main character anymore’ egbert had details and conclusions ACTUALLY RELATING TO HOMESTUCK, THE COMIC I LIKE AND WANTED TO READ AN EPILOGUE FOR. it was tragic and frankly very upsetting! im not saying i liked it!! but the tragedy felt compelling and significant. 

i appreciate that dirk as narrator IS BIASED so him saying that these narratives are less important is inherently like. not to be trusted but. just. i cant help but feel like you could have cut the whole ‘main dirk reality affecting’ narrative OUT 

and that seems to me maybe like... not good? if such a central part of your narrative has almost no bearing on homestuck or anything anyone cares about?

but im sure there are other people who found it compelling and necessary. thats fair. cant relate but you do you. there are other issues. 

me saying that the dirk narrative felt weirdly isolated and insignificant sounds pretty weird given that it put jade into a coma, manipulated kanayas mind, effectively killed rose and destroyed rosemary right? WELL that brings me on to the next thing. people have noted that meat barely passes the bechdel test. and hey, sometimes things like that can just be a coincidence or unlucky. but the repeated erasure of the female characters minds, motives, identities and autonomy was????  a little too consistent to dismiss. like ok terezi was still her dope self in a lot of ways. jane kinda did some stuff (under dirks direction, and only shitty stuff but . whatever). 

(sidebar: ofc it doesnt make sense to talk about calliope and roxy in the context of the female characters in Meat but either way they were very in the background. like cool an all, and i always love roxy. and i respect they were mostly just minding their own businesses??? which is fair)

 i just. urgh. homestuck has such a genuinely good track record of giving female characters genuine motivations and powerful abilities etc. the fact that almost ALL the female characters involved were working for or manipulated by DIRK. DIRK of all people. is like... is this even based off the real comic? idgi????

roses loss of autonomy.... rose is such an important character. and she goes along with everything dirk says because dirk is suddenly all OP and ‘theyre basically the same person anyway’ like i get that there was some magic bullshit going on or whatever but at the end of the day rose was still written as weak and passive. dirk as strong and skilled and decisive. i get the undertones.. hes a prince of heart. a destroyer of souls, and identities. he messed with kanayas identity , destroyed roses, repeatedly ignored roxys and calliopes, and god i wont even get started on jake yet. but that doesnt make it satisfying to read. or even really feasible.

so theres a possibility im missing something. but im confused about WHY dirk is allowed this power. in the narrative its waved off as a kind of ‘i guess because im like a prince of heart or whatever and im just super good at managing identities and being a strong boy’ like ok if theres some implication somewhere that that is MEANT to be a bogus explanation id be interested to know because it sounds pretty goddamn bogus. why would this happen to dirk? why? literally? one reason? one that makes sense? because there arent any i can think of. why, in the new universe, would dirk, a prince of heart, manifest into a narrative controlling supergod. and fucking WHEN has dirk showed any actual capabilities in this area before?? he KINDA sucked at it in the game. dirks an idiot! hes smart and capable in like, some ways but. its like

why is dirk so powerful suddenly -> its because hes become super ultimate dirk -> ... ok why -> uh because like. hes just so naturally inclined towards being a great manipulator yknow..... canonically.... uhhhh

it just. canon dirk to epilogue dirk is the most ridiculous leap character wise, skill wise, arc wise, personality wise, with minimal reasonable explanation. 

which brings me on to the next thing. so i roasted dirk and said he wasnt strong enough to be able to manipulate things this well. well, obviously through some other means dirk HAS been afforded this power. but what about his personality? its obviously gonna be warped with self importance and knowing how things ‘have to be’. but hes heartless, cruel and hateful. in some ways it seems like canon dirk levels of ruthlessness, especially when it shows that he is actually doing something dumb and petty like his treatment of jake. that shows that he STILL has emotional connection to people as dirk. he also seems to care about some people, like dave and roxy, and cracks jokes and wants to have ‘fun’. this makes the ways in which hes so warped and cruel seem even worse. maybe on the one hand im giving dirk too much credit, everyone knows he has the potential to be a real bastard. but i dont think that was the trajectory he was on when we last saw him. and if this is truly due to him just.. becoming other versions of himself too including LE and bro and stuff..like. i dont see how it could have gotten that bad without say, roxy or dave noticing. 

‘oh they didnt notice because hes just so good at hiding’ why on earth would i believe that!! dave especially this is kinda insulting for. dave is shown to have an almost supernatural ability to detect danger. partially this might be timeline stuff, knight stuff, but also notably im sure his upbringing is involved too. he was trained to be hypervigilant. who was he trained to be hypervigilant for? bro. bros manipulation and traps. near the end of the epilogue we show that dave IS capable of detecting the mindfuckery thats happening. how would that not set off 1 million alarm bells? theres literally apparently a twisted dirk-bro mutant INSIDE HIS HEAD telling him what to do. i just. know that scene was played for comedy and romance but at the very least thats gotta like???? mess with u if ur traumatised? and thats like , why i think dave should have had an inkling abt what was going on!! this is exactly the thing he hates and fears and was traumatised by! and it just going under his nose n him not even knowing , and still pretty recently being all buddy buddy with dirk seems just stupid and infeasible to me. maybe this is me being naive or kind of a stretch but i just feel like daves danger instincts would have been kicking up a whole assed ruckus that whole time. 

also kind of unrelated but i associate sunglasses with strider style toxic masculinity and hiding things so like. ok transitioning or changing gender presentation is one thing but roxy apparently permanently wearing sunglasses makes me NERVOUS

and ill probably wrap up this mighty rant soon but i wanna also say jake was done so fucking dirty. i know he was like, meant to be, because for some reason god dirk just hated him? like ok petty much. but. urgh jake is such an interesting character with a lot of potential and while i appreciate that him being manipulated by someone who may reasonably have a problem with him may make him do stupid and embarrassing stuff, all the narrative seems to have taken a backward step in how hes represented. jake isnt stupid, dirk clearly knew this in canon and he maybe was the only one even including jake. and there was some acknowledgement of this near the beginning of the epilogue. but then for some reason it goes back on itself. everyone still thinks jake is just completely stupid, including the embittered superdirk. so yeah i guess hes upset with jake or whatever but. its still dissatisfying to be like oh yeah jake isnt stupid he actually has a complex set of motivations and potential etc BUT over the X number of yrs on earth c no one else has realised this yet?? hmm. then his narrative is just gonna end up with him being a total joke and essentially becomes as stupid and incompetent as his worst critics say he is. feasible given the mind control ? yeah. enjoyable to read or having any kind of satisfying bearing on anything? nope!

so anyway. i feel like any criticism i have could be argued back with ‘but oh it has to be this way’ or ‘mind control!!’ or ‘not everything has to be nice and happy !!’ but like. dude. there are flaws. many of them. and seeing characters just get shat on is never gonna be good writing. 

[gaylortruther]

(many) tag games

saw someone else do this so i figured i’d go through all my tag games in one looong post instead of spamming you all with a bunch of separate posts!

i’m gonna tag everyone now and yall can choose which tag games you want to do or whether you want to do them all (or whether you want to do any)!!

thanks to everyone who tagged me in all of these! i LOVE being tagged in tag games and i am always up for more! <3

tagging THE SANCTION (including ppl that i haven’t gotten up on the page yet im sorry abfjffsdhsjbjsdf it will happen SOON):  @newdivinities @wolvesofarcadia @maskedlady @victoiirres @sancta-silje @bumblebeesonpaper @wasting-ink-not-youth @horrorspell @ya-lady-tauriel @awritinglen @purpleshadows1989 @ivonoris @theforgottencoolkid @the-ichor-of-ruination @grotesqu-e @lucacangettathisass @tea-ndi @hazeywrites @lunar895 @thewordsinthesky-andstars

[LAST LINE TAG]

TAGGED BY  @melwrotethat AND @hazeywrites

thank you both for the tags! these are the last few lines of the prologue-excerpt-thing i wrote for the page i’m working on for WHERE THE CELLAR MEETS THE SKY

Somehow, Collin hears them. Silently, she rolls up her sleeve, and Rowan feels the Collin Sutherland they knew is somewhere far, far away. The tattoos are black, geometric in design, two on each arm, and eerily similar to the ones Rowan has just discovered on their own left arm. They're sure if they were to roll up their right sleeve, they would find more.

"I should have told you a long time ago," Collin whispers. "I didn't know you were a part of it, but I should have guessed. I didn't want to put you in danger."

"I'm not- I don't- in danger of what?"

The waves crash onto the shore, and in the distance, a seagull cries, sending Collin into action. She grabs Rowan's hand and starts pulling, dragging them back behind the house.

"Come on. We don't have a lot of time, we have to get going. I can tell you everything on the way. I don't know why he brought me here instead of straight to the veil, damn it-,"

"Wait!," they say, wrenching their hand out of her grasp. "Just- stop! Where are we going?!"

Collin's eyes flash bright, despite the lack of sunlight. "Home."

yeah, a bit long, a bit unedited, but *shrugs*

[SPELL OUT UR URL USING SONG TITLES]

TAGGED BY @tea-ndi

thank you sage!!! <3

hard feelings/loveless | lorde

another one of those days | cavetown

let’s fall in love for the night | FINNEAS

ocean eyes | billie eilish

honey and milk | flower face

i know | king princess ft fiona apple

dreamz | sara king

iloveyou | BETWEEN FRIENDS

nobody’s home | gnash

greek god | conan gray

sycamore girl | rex orange county 

and there you have a small sample of my music taste! add in literally every taylor swift song (dont judge me), some lo-fi tunes without ANY words whatsoever, and the occasional fall out boy or panic at the disco goddamn absolute banger, and you have my XANDERS JAMS playlist on spotify. ENJOY

[11/11/11 TAG]

TAGGED BY @awritinglen <333333333333333333333333

thank you for tagging me len!!! your questions were so fun!! i’m doing this for WHERE THE CELLAR MEETS THE SKY

Name all OCs in your WIP

OMFG okay,,, wait do you mean full names?? POV characters as of rn are Collin Aisling Sutherland, Rowan Tilley (doesn’t have a middle name) and Avery Bristol Charter. then the next most important one is Isaac Michael Rosewell, even though he’s the antagonist. then the side characters that are still very featured are Noah Rosalyn Pratten, Reese Iseul Radley, and Sage Emarosa Delgado. THEN we get into the very very side characters, Willa Robinson and her son August Robinson. then we have Avery’s parents, Alaric and the late Octavia Charter. and thennnnn we have Beldane Moreno, Avery’s uncle and Collin’s grandfather (undecided abt that last name but going w it for now). i promise it all makes sense. i promise anfnfsjnfdjsfd

Name at least one hobby your Main character love

i’ll give this one to Collin, she is a musician! Avery’s mother always taught her music before The Accident (dun dun dunnn) and after Collin was abandoned in the Nigh she threw herself into music. she plays guitar mostly, but she secretly loves piano the best out of every instrument she knows

3 sentences about your current WIP

OOF. im so bad at summaries why would you do this to meee abfhshjbsbshfjsbf. “A determined believer wants to return to a home that never wanted her. Almost 4000 miles away, an incisive, intellectual outcast of a dreamer muses over getting out of their hometown. And infinities away from them both, a teenage revolutionary disappears into thin air, on his way to bring back his past and fix his (and everyone’s) future.”

Is there a romance in your WIP and did you plan it from the beginning?

yes! there are three! they are definitely a main focus of the plot, but not THE main focus. Reese and Rowan were definitely planned from the beginning. Collin and Noah were, too, but they weren’t originally enemies to lovers, and they are now (hehehehehe). and Isaac and Avery were DEFINITELY not planned from the beginning. in fact, Avery was originally paired up with Sage, but it’s literally so much better this way and i’m so glad it’s been changed. Isaac and Avery has been planned since about when Isaac’s character was thought up, one year into planning WTCMTS.

What genre(s) is it?

a mix of dystopia and urban fantasy. and it’s YA, borderline NA because some of the characters are 19-20, but i still think YA is appropriate because of the style of writing.

What’s the aesthetic of two of your characters?

fun question! Collin’s aesthetic is very emo-punk, with a splash of yellow towards the end of the series. piercings, blue hair, rips on clothing, dirty converse, smudged eyeliner, safety pins. the yellow comes in as part of her character arc, as she learns to accept that her childhood memories are tainted and not actually perfect utopia. Rowan is way more minimalist (sometimes). they’re into the bookstagram type aesthetic, and mom jeans with sneakers, jean jackets, plants against a white wall, colorblocked windbreakers, rain against a car window.

When did you start your current WIP?

WTCMTS was started in august of 2017 

How far along are you in the process (i.e 1st/2nd/3rd draft, worldbuilding)

still worldbuilding, unfortunately, for personal reasons

Who’s the hardest character for you to write?

OOOOOOF. sage or rowan?

What music genre best decribes your main character(s) and whats their favorite?

Collin - alternative (favorite band would be like twenty one pilots, p!atd) 

Rowan - ichillwave (clario, rex orange county)

Avery - emo (fall out boy, all time low)

Isaac - indie alternative OR instrumental lofi (jaymes young, birdy)

Noah - electropop (lorde, halsey, charlie xcx)

Reese - folk rock (the head and the heart, of monsters and men)

Sage - indie pop (lana del ray, florence + the machine)

Are you working on more than one WIP?

yes! i have four currently but only two are important lol, ILLUNIUS and WHERE THE CELLAR MEETS THE SKY (this one). WIP PAGE

MY QUESTIONS

how did you come up with the title for your WIP?

is there anything you want to change about your WIP but you are hesitating on?

do you have a favorite character? a character that is your baby?

write a tinder bio for one of your characters.

how do you feel about epilogues? does your wip include an epilogue?

what changes does your MC go through over the course of the story?

what is the most significant insignificant thing that happens in your story? don’t explain why it is significant if it spoils things ;)

do you know what will happen after the ending of your wip, or would you rather not picture it?

how long does your wip span? is it a novel? a series? does it have prequels or spin-off wips?

what is a major internal conflict for your MC? 

do you include flashbacks in your wip? do you like writing flashbacks?

[HOW TO KNOW YOU’RE IN A ______ NOVEL TAG]

TAGGED BY @writevevo​ AND @wolvesofarcadia​

thank you both for this tag! it’s so much fun and both of your novels sound like novels that would be very interesting to be stuck in :D

inspired by this post

HOW TO KNOW YOU’RE IN A HALOHIDINGS NOVEL

you’re an older sibling and you have a younger sibling. you’re extremely bitter towards your younger sibling for stealing opportunities from you, damning you to a life you never truly wanted. your younger sibling adores you and just wants to please you. they never meant to do it. 

you’re stuck in constant, wistful wanderlust, never feeling like you truly belong, never fitting in anywhere, not with friends, not with family, and when you finally find the place you’ve been looking for, you realize it’s nothing like you dreamed or remembered.

you’re not heterosexual. no one around you is. no one is cisgender either. where are they? no one knows. 

you have a peculiar capability dancing under your skin. it trickles from your pores and muddles with your mind. maybe you asked for it, maybe it was predestined, maybe you never wanted anything to do with it. whatever the reason, it’s there, and you don’t know what’s you and what’s it. maybe you’re not meant to ask. maybe you’re meant to succumb. 

your memories are as fickle as the rain, coming and going and breaking through the clouds, shattering the fog and disappearing with the sun. you can’t recall what you’re doing here, or where you’re meant to be instead. what’s your name?, they ask. you don’t know.

there are two worlds. one world is blissfully unaware of this, or at least, as unaware as any world of millions and millions of people can be. no secret can be kept forever, they tell you. you are desperately trying to keep the secret.

the one closest to you, despite your abhorrent denial of this fact, the one you would trust with your life, will betray you. because of their decision, their selfishness, you will either lose them, or lose yourself.

THOSE WERE SO FUN OMG. they all mostly apply to both of my major wips, which is probably bad. oh well LMAO

SORRY THAT WAS SOOOOOOOO LONG hope at least someone does one of these tag games lol <3 

xander out

[lucacangettathisass]

‘There’s just nothing inside you, nothing at all.’

The Southern Raiders Episode And Kataang Zutara Katara

so a few years ago (i wanna say 2014? smthn like that) @irresistible-revolution mentioned wanting to write a meta about the southern raiders episode of atla and how it’s really about katara and not kataang or zutara. i’ve just finished the episode and i have my own thoughts on that so i’ve decided to get them out and dedicate the following meta/word vomit to her.

(also @gameofdooweeoo since u seem to enjoy my word vomits and @mythaelogy since u asked for content. i know it isnt the meta i was talking about, but hopefully this can tide u over until then.)

spoilers ahead obvi.

so, i think we can all agree that atla is a far more mature show than what is usually aimed at children. from the themes of war, imperialism, lost innocence, and compassion and the lack thereof (still working on that meta, gonna finish the show before i really knuckle down and get started on it), among many others, it’s safe to say that it’s an incredibly mature show, and an episode that best exemplifies that is ‘the southern raiders’.

quick recap: when they were still children, katara and sokka’s mother, kya, was killed during a raid on the southern water tribe to find waterbenders (the show only has katara and sokka say their mother was taken from them which implies imprisonment, which did happen to previous benders, but it’s far more heavily implied that she actually died. kinda weird how they kept that ambiguous considering all the other stuff that was included but eh.), and the raid was lead by yohn ra. years later, after joining the gaang, zuko offers katara, who still harbours hatred and anger towards yohn ra, a chance at revenge and closure. now, here’s where some of the shipping wars and conflicts arise.

full disclosure, i ship both of these ships and have done for years, so i never really focused on that aspect of the episode, however i can see why other people did.

i don’t involve myself in shipping discourse, but from what i’ve seen there are some zutara shippers (as well as non shippers) who say that zuko is helping katara deal with her emotions, while aang invalidates them. i would like to respectfully disagree.

in this point in time, zuko is still dealing with his own intense emotional trauma and learning to let go of his anger as well as trying to get katara to like and trust him, and he sees this as a way to accomplish the latter. he was raised in an environment that encouraged aggression and violence, and no doubt getting revenge would’ve been part of that. and i don’t just mean his homelife/childhood, but we’ve seen how society in the fire nation is also geared towards violence (as is typical of imperialist, warmongering nations, but that’s a meta for another day), so it would make sense for him to jump to that as a course of action. i also believe he’s living his own revenge fantasy vicariously through katara, he was unable to save his mother as a child, and perhaps sees this as a way to make up for that (even though he was, y’know, a child). this is not to say that zuko’s thinking was inherently wrong. his thinking and view of the world had been so thoroughly warped by that stage, that to him, getting an eye for an eye was more than fair for katara. he may have changed sides, but it takes far more than that to undo such intense cultural conditioning. his feelings and opinion on how katara should deal with her grief are every bit as valid as aang’s.

another moment for disclosure; i 100% agree with aang in this instance, no question. revenge is all well and good, but an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind and whatnot. one of the biggest messages of atla is how violence begets violence and that breaking that cycle is the only way forward (this will be further discussed in that ‘atla and compassion’ meta), and aang has shown this attitude throughout the series. despite the fact that he’s literally the most powerful bender in the world, aang has consistently shown to value non violent approaches to conflicts, as he was taught by the monks (who, as we all know, were based off buddhist monks). and when he tells katara he understands what she’s going through, he means it. don’t forget, he’s the last airbender, the lone survivor of a genocide. when he went to the southern air temple and saw the destruction, he was enraged and went into the avatar state over it. he carries that weight and anger and loss and grief with him every day, the same way katara carries hers. he knows this pain, knows it all too well, and he doesn’t want it to drag katara down. she’s a lively, vibrant, compassionate soul, which he (and myself and i’m sure many others) loves, choosing to exact revenge on someone, however ‘deserving’ of it they may be, could easily twist that. if she does it then, what’s stopping her from doing it again and again and again? and what’s to stop anyone else from trying to exact revenge on her? the cycle continues, the wheel spins, and nothing is changed. in the end he does concede that this is something she needs to do and accepts that, although not without some trepidation, because it’s about her and her feelings. and he’s right.

now for katara.

here’s the thing about katara: as a character, she truly is one of a kind. she’s a young woman (of colour) who is shown to be kind, loving, compassionate, friendly, and brave, all the good things a person should aspire to be. but the writers don’t try to kid themselves or us into believing that that’s all she is. she’s also ruthless, can hold a grudge like nobody’s business (obvi as a grudge is the catalyst for this episode), and possess a temper that is honestly rarely seen in a female character (ur fave could never, as the kids say). and that side of her is on full display this episode. the writers never once make katara seem ridiculous or vindictive or petty for holding onto this anger, they are totally honest about it. sometimes even kind, sweet people we love and hold dear to us are capable of extreme hate and violence, and we need to reconcile that. and we also need to deal with our grief and anger in our own ways.

the loss of her mother is significant to katara in ways that are different to sokka. this is not to say that losing his mother didn’t affect sokka, of course it did, but it was different for them both. katara had become the mother to both her and sokka (sokka himself said in ‘the runaway’ that when he tries to picture his mother’s face, he sees katara), which is a huge responsibility. there was of course gran gran and hakoda, but sokka’s comment is very revealing. katara and sokka lost more than their mother that day, they lost their innocence, and katara specifically lost her chance at girlhood. she had to, or at least felt like she had to, step up and replace her mother, a responsibility that was no doubt kicked up a notch once hakoda left for war (possibly another reason why she resented hakoda for leaving? discuss.). after all gran gran was an old woman, expecting her to care for two children, one of which was their tribe’s last waterbender, is somewhat unrealistic. and while there is a feeling that everyone in the southern water tribe would’ve pitched in and raised all the kids together, katara still felt the need to become the new mother (and considering sokka’s pre-series sexism, it’s unlikely he was a big help), while not knowing what to do. sure she would’ve learned from gran gran and the other women, but there’s more to motherhood, self imposed or not, than just tasks. there’s being an emotional support, a voice of reason, an example of bravery. being all of these things is taxing on an adult, nevermind a heavily traumatized child. yohn ra made katara grow up too fast. he ripped her girlhood away from her. it’s only fair she rips what’s left of his life from him.

when we meet yohn ra, he is far from the fierce raider commander from the flashbacks. he’s now an old man, living with his (implied to be abusive) mother, and tending to a garden. while he still displays some skill at firebending, it’s clear that he’s no match for zuko and katara, who in a previous scene expressed a willingness to bloodbend despite her reservations about it in ‘the puppet master’ (a prime example of just how fierce she can be). katara is able to stop some of the rain, creating a dome of cover for the three of them, after revealing that she was the last waterbender in the southern water tribe, not her mother. she creates a flurry of sharp icicles, all of which look like they could easily impale yohn ra, and throws them at him.

and then she stops. she calls off the attack.

yohn ra takes the opportunity to try and placate katara, admitting that what he did was wrong (was he sincere or just trying to save his ass? discuss.) and beg for mercy, offering up his own mother’s life (an eye for an eye). katara says that before, she couldn’t imagine why someone would do something like take away a person’s mother. and she says that she’s understands now.

‘there’s nothing inside you, nothing at all. you’re pathetic and sad and empty.’

it’s something that i’m sure many victims/survivors wish they could say to the people who traumatized them. you did this horrible thing to me, nothing you do or say can undo it or untraumatize me. you’re pathetic, sad, empty. you’re nothing. for katara, it’s no doubt a cathartic moment. throughout the years, despite not knowing his name, yohn ra was the monster that lurked under her bed. the shadows that seemed to move on dark nights. the nightmares that chased away pleasant dreams and sleep.

yohn ra cries, begging for mercy.

and katara grants it.

she tells him that as much as she hates him, she can’t do it. she can’t bring herself to take a life the way he did. yohn ra may be pathetic and sad and empty, but she is not. she has her family, her friends, her promise to aang to help him defeat ozai and end the war. a war that took her mother and brought her to that moment. she has things and people to live for and love, she has happiness and joy, she has fulfillment. she is not yohn ra. she will not act like she is.

i haven’t read any interviews/discussions from the writers on the episode that talk about why katara spared yohn ra instead of killing him. perhaps it was to help foreshadow aang’s show of mercy to ozai. maybe it was to keep katara’s status as a heroine and not have her ‘go over to the dark side’ so to speak. i don’t know, and to be perfectly honest, i don’t really care (death of the author babey!!!!!!). for me, this episode was about katara growing as a person, learning that exacting violence on someone for the violence they exacted on u (whether directly or indirectly) is never good and will not lead to a sustainable society. to kill yohn ra, despite the things he’s done, would solve nothing. her mother is still dead. she is never getting her girlhood back. and she would never be able to undo killing yohn ra. by sparing yohn ra, she showed the kind of grace and mercy that many real world adults are unable to show, and that’s extremely powerful. i can only imagine the kind of strength that goes into that kind of restraint.

she hasn’t forgiven him. perhaps, despite aang’s hopes, she never will. but she can learn to let the anger and grief go, and fill herself with other things, like forgiveness for zuko, and love for aang.

she will not be nothing. or pathetic. or sad. or empty.

she will not be him.