#as predicted i cried during diamond of the day which i got over with first

[botanicallyinclinednerd]

Moments that highlight Merlin and Gwaine’s dynamic:

3x04: Gwaine's first words directly to Merlin are "pass the jug" which Merlin does and he just stares as Gwaine drinks from it and punches a guy in the face with no problem.

3x04: Gwaine flirting asking Merlin for his name and introducing himself to Merlin in the middle of a bar fight (that he threw the first punch of because he saw Arthur and Merlin had gotten themselves into a predicament). Merlin is completely baffled by this man that bashed someone over the head with a pitcher of alcohol, commented on the waste of alcohol, and threw himself back into the thick of the fight with a flip of his hair

3x04: Merlin has no idea how to react to Gwaine and his attitude towards nobles or his reason for helping them in the tavern being due to their slim odds of winning

3x04: Merlin’s stunned exasperation at Gwaine’s bar tab

3x04: Drunk Gwaine telling Merlin as he helps him up the stairs to his bed, "You're the best friend I've ever had" and Merlin replying "you seem to have quite a few" and laughing at Gwaine’s drunken laughter. They then exchange bits of their tragic backstories. Gwaines laughter at hitting his head against the wall sets Merlin off again, laughing at Gwaine’s antics.

3x04: the conversation about fathers while cleaning the boots. If I'm not mistaken, Gwaine is the only person, Gaius aside, that Merlin ever talked to about Balinor after having briefly met him.

3x04: Gwaine getting concerned when Merlin doesn't come back quickly and going to find him. Gwaine asking Merlin if he's okay and upon getting a "no" from Merlin, readily fighting the two "knights" to protect Merlin

3x04: Merlin apologizing for Gwaine getting banished and when Gwaine brushes it off and says "People get sick of me too quickly" Merlin quickly replies "I didn't" and Gwaine seems surprised by this: "After the trouble I caused?" And he laughs at Merlins response "you livened the place up." Gwaine gives Merlin a pat on the shoulder and a smile/nod in farewell.

3x04: Merlin grinning as he recognizes Gwaine’s disarming maneuver on one if the thug knights.

3x04: Merlin expressing concern at Gwaine saying he might go to Mercia. Merlin proceeds to try to convince Gwaine to stay. Like the first time in the episode Gwaine says good bye, Gwaine claps Merlin on the shoulder and gives him a nod and a smile. It also looks like he winks at Merlin as well this time.

3x08: Merlin grinning when he greets Gwaine when he finds him in a bar brawl. Gwaine looks and sounds delighted to see Merlin, grinning back. Ignores the fight to greet Merlin, the shot changing to show Gwaine with his arm around Merlin shoulders

3x08:The whole escape scene is amazing, the music adding to the hilarity. Gwaine, like any good friend, shrugging and pushing Merlin off the wall into the hay bellow

3x08: Them laughing over Merlin searching every tavern in Angard for Gwaine and Gwaine replying he'd be in all of them

3x08: Campfire scene in the Perilous lands. Merlin asks Gwaine why he wants to help and Gwaine responds "Same reason as you. To help a friend," and when Merlin says "Arthur is lucky to have us" Gwaine replies "Not Arthur," while looking at merlin with this look on his face and giving Merlin a tiny smile. Merlin responds "I'd do the same for you," "I'd hope so. You're the only friend I've got." Merlin raises his eyebrows at that "I'm not surprised" and they both laugh

3x08: Gwaine pushing Merlin into the room out of the way of the descending stone wall

3x08: Gwaine pulling Merlin into a hug when they find Merlin unharmed in the room. Its a very bro-y hug with back slaps

3x08: Merlin smiles at Gwaine and thanks him for his help as they part ways at the border.

3x12: Gwaine started moving towards Merlin and Arthur after he heard Merlin’s voice, meaning he recognized it. Merlin is delighted to see Gwaine, grinning widely. Gwaine calls Merlin "old friend" and puts his hands on Merlin's shoulders

3x12: Merlin telling Gwaine what their quest is and Arthur getting annoyed because it was a secret and Merlins response is "Its Gwaine!"

3x12: The fire wood bit where Gwaine messes with Merlin and Merlin doesn't realize it. "Merlin, don't you know when someone's joking with you?" Merlin laughs. Gwaine then makes a quip about his reputation and winks at Merlin

3x13: Gwaine asks Merlin if he's alright, comments that it looked like Merlin had seen a ghost

4x01: when Merlin spots Gwaine and Percival chicken fishing from the grate, Gwaine puts a finger to his lips with a grin. Merlin is amused by their antics

4x02: Gwaine gives Merlin a hug when he rejoins them before the Isle of the Blessed

4x04: Gwaine compliments Merlin on the stew and thanks him while putting a hand on Merlin’s shoulder

4x04: the poisoned stew scene, Gwaine obnoxiously eats over Merlin shoulder and pats Merlin on the shoulder while Merlin is probably plotting his revenge against all 5 of them

4x06: Gwaine goes with Arthur to find Merlin and he talks up Merlin to Arthur. Can be inferred that Gwaine is indirectly telling Arthur to praise Merlin more. Gwaine can be seen grinning in the background when he and Arthur find Merlin

4x06: Gwaine calls Merlin "bog man" and looks hurt when Merlin refuses to let him snag any of the food and snaps at him.

4x06: Old man Merlin antagonizing Gwaine, alluding to his nobility without actually saying it. Merlin’s motivations behind this taunt are unclear

4x07: Gwaine is waiting for Merlin in Gaius’s chambers to check on him. Merlin is not happy to see him and is at first rather snappy. Gwaine seems a bit hurt by Merlin's dismissal, but he still lets Merlin know he's there to help him. Gwaine goes with Merlin to find Gaius

4x07 deleted scene: Gwaine and Merlin stop to eat around a fire. Gwaine assures Merlin that they will find Gaius and Merlin thanks him for the help. Merlin promises to return the favor one day and Gwaine makes a joke about Merlin maybe regretting that considering all the trouble he gets into. They laugh and then have a short heart to heart about fathers. (This scene can be found on YouTube under Merlin "4x07 deleted scenes")

4x07: when Gwaine is knocked to the ground by his opponent, Merlin used magic to knock him off his feet and he ended up landing on Gwaine. Gwaine is staring up at Merlin with wide eyes. Merlin helps Gwaine to his feet

4x07: Gwaine looks very displeased when Merlin tells Gwaine not to wait for him if he finds Gaius. Gwaine ends up trying to go looking for Merlin anyways but is talked out of it by Agravaine (btw Gwaine looks like he wants so badly to stab Agravaine in that scene on multiple occasions and I think its a shame that he didn't)

4x08: The fishing pole interaction in the night. The light banter

4x08: if you watch Gwaine in the background of the scene where Leon goes off on Merlin and calls him "nothing but a servant" you can see Gwaine looking livid and a muscle jumps in his jaw. The next scene when he shoves into Leon he asks Leon "why don’t you mind your damn tongue?" Which doesn't connect to Leon telling Gwaine to mind where he's going. It does however connect to Leon yelling at Merlin.

4x10: Gwaine scaring Merlin in the shrine by suddenly grabbing his shoulder and whispering "boo"

4x10: Gwaine giving Merlin a pouch of salt as protection against spirits and telling him if it didn't work, gaius could use it as seasoning. Merlin isn't amused by that

4x12: Gwaine pulls Merlin back and tells him they had no time to argue, Merlin needed to go.

5x02: Merlin smiles when he sees Gwaine alive

5x04: Gwaine is concerned for Merlin when he’s found unconscious, helping Percival lay him down and sitting by Merlin's head with his hands on Merlin's shoulders. He expresses concern to Gaius when Merlin takes too long to wake up

5x04: Gwaine is delighted to see Merlin awake and definitely goes in for a hug which Merlin derails by putting his hands on Gwaine’s shoulders and moving away before Gwaine can hug him. In the background Gwaine does a little smirk and head shake and Merlin back to his normal self

5x04: Before Merlin goes off to find Arthur, Gwaine stops him with a hand on his shoulder, wishing him luck

5x07: Merlin’s conversation with Gwaine about his suspicion that Arthur was not safe in Camelot. Gwaine promises Merlin that he will stick close to Arthur to protect him. He gives merlin his word.

5x07: connecting to the point above: Gwaine goes to check on Gwen when they lost the "intruder" if you really over analyze this scene and the scene in the courtyard, you could come to the conclusion that Gwaine is aware Merlin is in the room. His eyes keep darting to the corner where Merlin is and in fact its Gwaine looking in that direction that tips Gaius off to Merlin in that corner. When the previous point is taken into account, it is doubtful that Gwaine would have left Arthur unless he had reason to believe he was in more danger if he stayed than if he went with Gwen. But this is conjecture on my part and just what I took away from these scenes.

5x07: Gwaine smiles kindly at Merlin when he’s let out of the cells

5x11: Gwaine chuckling and commenting that Merlin had caught something on the hunting trip too (a cold)

5x11: Gwaine asking Merlin what was wrong after he and Leon encounter Mordred threatening Merlin in the hallway. Gwaine looks slightly concerned, especially after Merlin brushes it off and claims it was nothing.

5x12: Gwaine’s confidence in Merlins healing ability: "don't worry, Merlin knows what he’s doing"

5x12: Gwaine going with "my friend Merlin" to the crystal caves. That Merlin chose Gwaine speaks to his trust in him, and that he agreed readily speaks to Gwaine’s friendship to Merlin

5x12: Gwaine thanking Merlin for helping Eria, Merlin implying that Gwaine likes her, light teasing

5x12: Merlin lying defenseless on the ground and screaming for Gwaine, sounding absolutely petrified. Gwaine was already moving to Merlin before he yelled, as he noticed when Merlin went down. Gwaine asks him if he's okay and holds a hand out to help Merlin to his feet. Merlin thanks him and Gwaine replies, while clapping a hand on Merlin’s shoulder "No need to thank me Merlin. It was the least I could do."

5x12: Gwaine is taken aback when Merlin tells him that he will go the rest of the way on his own. Gwaine is concerned for Merlin’s safety. When Gwaine asks what Merlin is looking for, Merlin has a conflicted look on his face before he ultimately replies "I can't tell you that Gwaine. You'll just have to trust me" and Gwaine obviously does, as he does not push or protest and he gives a tiny nod of understanding.

5x12: Gwaine tells Merlin "Look after yourself Merlin" and gives Merlin his sword, making a joke about Merlin knowing how to use the sharp end that makes them both chuckle. When the shot shows Gwaine again, his eyes are filling with tears. They firmly grasp each other's arm in farewell

5x12: Gwaine tells Merlin "I hope you find what you're looking for" to which Merlin grins broadly at Gwaine and Gwaine smiles back, though it quickly fades as the tears in his eyes get more prominent and he actively looks like he's trying not to cry. Gwaine looks like he doesn't expect to see Merlin again. And he's right. "I hope you find what you're looking for" are Gwaine’s last words to Merlin.

Also: for the fucking record, the music playing in their final scene makes it so much more heart breaking. It starts off quieter and slow and at the end, at their goodbye, it swells and just has a feeling of finality to it without there being a proper ending.

[wreckofawriter]

Magnolia Final Part

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Mentions of blood and death

Summary: idk dude just read the other chapters first or this is gonna make no sense

A/n: I did this instead of studying for my finals, also it could probably use a neither round of editing but I was anxious to post it. And I really don't give a fuck if this is historically inacurate all research done for this was from Pirate of the Caribbean.

Part 1 Part 2

♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~

You considered the stars your friends, their predictability and reserve made them easy to get along with. You had been taught to read their language from your early days of ships and oceans. As a child, you would speak to them, whispering secrets from your bedroom window. Your young nights had been filled with time spent stretching from the top of your magnolia tree to try and grasp their beauty. Even now as you stared up at the heavens you wished to cradle them like priceless jewels, their wonder never faded. But you supposed their mystery is what made them so appealing, everyone wanted something they could never quite reach.

The news of your captured prince had spread like fire in a dry wind, the letters you had sent to Aldir and their neighboring kingdoms throwing many into action. Sirius’s kingdom was large, powerful, and merciless. Some wanted the prince for leverage, many others wanted blood; revenge driving them to empty treasuries and sharpen swords. At first, you had been sitting pretty, letters of bids coming to you at every stop you made. Eventually, prices got too high and kingdoms decided it would be easier to take than to pay.

Ash burned in the back of your throat, you stared at your feet as the second ship that week crumbled into the ocean. Its flames were heavy on your back, reflecting in the greys of the sea. A particularly large crack of the fire made the breath catch in your throat. Your fear of the element had persisted for years filling your nightmares with smoke and screams. 

As the distance between you and the defeated ship lengthened your heart began to calm. The air was thick with moisture, purple clouds bruising the dull sky. The ocean was frothy, waves lapping tirelessly at the sides of your ship.

Your mind felt dizzy, the taste of blood still thick in your mouth. Two more men had been lost in the fight which had taken place just minutes ago. One flung into the ocean and the other struck by a bullet. That was six bodies that you had been forced to dump into the sea the past month. 

You had to get rid of Sirius before more corpses were to be fed to the sharks. This had never been so strikingly obvious before yet, you hesitated. Nails dug into your palms, the voices in your head fighting a clamoring war. Your feelings were illegible, their messy colors smeared together in an uninterpretable painting. So you threw them away, ignoring the throb in your chest and taking a breath. Sirius was to be sold to the highest bidder and that was that. You felt your past’s grip on your throat loosening. There was only one way to get rid of what used to be, you had to kill it. 

   

Sirius had never been so bewildered before. His life had been a book that was written a thousand times over. The prince falls in love, the queen doesn’t approve, the love runs off, the prince finds the love, and then happily ever after. But life wasn’t as sweet nor simple as a children’s story and this may be the first time that he had ever truly realized that. All it took was the prince to be tied in the love’s basement ready to be sold to his death. 

Sirius woke with a start as metal clattered inches from his face. His heart pounded loudly in his ears as his breath slowly returned to his lungs. He stared at the plate which had woken him, it was piled higher than normal with two rolls dropped next to it. He peered up at the giver of this gift.

He recognized the small blonde as the one he had threatened a few weeks before, the fear he had seen in her eyes that moment now replaced with pity, bitter and soft like rotten fruit. 

“I wanna talk.” She said plainly, toeing the plate towards him like a bribe, he supposed that’s exactly what it was. 

Sirius sat up ignoring the hammer of his head. His hair stuck to his cheek, slick with sweat. The woman whose name he never learned dropped to a squat beside him, a small knife held in her hand. His eyes widened as it glinted in the small gas lamp hanging above his head. 

“Relax.” She sighed cutting the rope that tethered his hands behind his back. 

Sirius felt his shoulders groan in protest as they fell forward, his wrists aching and rubbed red. Hot pin pricks filled his fingers as he clenched and unclenched his fists. 

When he looked back up Adrie was now seated in front of him, her legs crossed. She glanced down at the food and then back up at him, “You can eat if you agree to answer some questions.” Her demands were simple. 

He let silence settle for just a moment, “Fine.” After all, what did he have to lose? His dignity? His pride? They had been sleeping with the fishes for ages. 

She pushed the plate towards him, watching him quietly as he began to eat, “You don’t look like much of a prince to me.” She hummed after a moment.

Sirius swallowed, licking his lips, “Does anyone after two weeks locked in the bottom of a ship full of scum?"

Adrie cracked a smile, “I suppose not.” 

She stared at him still, she was lying a bit. Years held prisoner couldn’t erase the royalty he was raised with, it stuck to him like wet stuck to water. Nothing and everything proved him a prince, you could take his crown but you could never take his title.

“How do you know y/n?”

Sirius was startled by the suddenness of the question but not remotely surprised it was asked, “She hasn’t told you?” 

“I wouldn’t be asking if she had,” Adire responded, her tone was blunt. 

He bit into a roll thoughtfully taking his time to chew slowly, she was patient, her blank expression, not faltering.

“I thought you were friends.” He mumbled with a full mouth. 

Her jaw tightened, “Y/n doesn’t speak of her past.”

“So you’ve come to me for information?” Sirius said mild mockery in his voice.

“Obviously.”

He eyed the woman curiously, she was not what he had expected of your right hand man. Sirius smiled loosely, “You sure you wanna disobey Captain’s orders?” 

“Start talking or I take the food and hang you by your ankles.” 

Sirius huffed glancing between her and his food, “Fine, you win.” 

“Good. Tell me everything.” She demanded.

Sirius felt his throat tighten around the potatoes he had swallowed, his mind ached with hazy memories of summer days and speeding hearts, “There isn’t much to tell.” 

“You’re a bad lair.” Adire hummed. 

Sirius sighed, eyes falling to the bright white scars which laced his hands. He wasn’t sure where else to start but the beginning. He told of a loud baker girl who snuck over the walls into his garden and brought him pastries and friendship. He continued with vague details, of growing up together with swords and stars, reliving each moment he shared. 

He felt his words stiffen as he spoke of falling in love with you. Part of him felt like he was talking of someone completely different. Someone who had burnt up with her parents in a small bakery a million miles away. What was left, muffling cries above him, was a shell of that girl her soul replaced with seaweed and smoke. He pushed the thought away, swallowing it with the lump in his throat as he continued to speak of a proposal he regretted and the consequences of disobeying his mother. 

The broken fairytale cut his tongue filling his mouth with a bitter taste. He attempted to wash it down with the rum his listener had brought to him but its flavor was just as bad, it's only redemption was the warmth that filled his stomach.

Adrie looked at him blankly, "I don't blame her for wanting you dead." 

Sirius wished she had stayed silent. 

"But I pity you, you don't deserve death." 

He didn't look up and instead finished his drink, "Your pity means nothing to me." 

She sighed standing to her feet, "I never thought it did." 

When her boots disappeared up the ladder he let his cup drop to the ground, it rolled knocking into his heel as tears dripped from his chin.

By the time you had dropped anchor just off of Haran, the moisture had dropped from the air. Dry winds and clear skies greeted your crew. 

Rowboats were dropped in the water quickly, the sun was setting fast and a night of cheap ale and cheaper women were in the forefront of many a man's heads. 

You were tired, the happiness of your crewmates falling short at your feet. Exhaustion had replaced all anger and sadness you had harbored for the past weeks making your eyes grow dull as the bags beneath them. The satchel burned under your arms had a note you had written agreeing to the Yerith King’s price. You had singed your finger on the wax used to seal the envelope, it still throbbed a bit with the unsteady beat of your heart. You tried not to think about much on your way to land instead filling your head with that faint burn and fog of the setting sun. 

Adrie watched as you played with the diamond strung around your neck, a new piece she had only seen in recent days. She assumed you had taken it from one of the ships which had recently burnt into the sea. The bright stone was so different from the rest of your jewelry she was surprised you wore it all. Obnoxious gems had never been your type.

She was wrong on this thought, large jewels used to be what you would stare at as you passed shop windows, wishing you had the money to clutch one in your hand. They used to be a dream and a wish, now they were just things you stole and sold to the highest bidder.

Sirius had been briefly told of the plans for the evening. Two men whom he had become somewhat accustomed to during his stay had tied him up. The knots were tighter than usual as they were to be gone for the night. In his usual nature, Sirius complained about the ache of his wrists and the cramps in his legs. His grievances went unheard and his company disappeared from sight. The boat was quiet within the hour, nothing but the creak of old boards and calls of gulls far above his head breaking the silence. 

He drifted in and out of sleep for a few hours, time passing in its usual way, slowly. Finally, a clear thought came to Sirius’s head, he had the whole boat to himself. That meant there was no one to stop him from escaping his certain and quickly approaching death. 

Sirius tried to twist his hands out of the rope for what must have been an hour and only resulted in drawing blood from his wrists. Switching tactics he began to slowly shuffle and roll around the cabin he was in, searching for anything that could cut rope. As the sun’s light began to fade his task was growing difficult. Just before he gave in to his exhaustion Sirius found a bent nail sticking about a centimeter out of the ladder that led to the upper deck. The next two hours were spent rubbing his binds against the dull metal until they finally snapped. 

    After a month of being held prisoner, freedom left him stunned. He stumbled up the ladder until he reached the ship’s deck. The warm breeze which washed over him felt like a gift from the gods. A smile stretched his aching cheeks and for the first time in a while Sirius Black let out a genuine laugh. 

He quickly found a small boat which he could lower to the water. He could be miles away before the sun rose and you found his binds cut. Judging by the port you had stopped at he was only a few days' row from neutral lands. There he could gather himself and write for help. He was saved.

Sirius’s glee was cut short as he realized that he was missing one vital thing; you. The only reason he was out here in the first place was for you. He had spent years following rumors across the sea, he had given up his place as king, he had spent hundreds of thousands on supplies. But the truth was even if he hadn’t done all that, even if he had stumbled across you within a week and spent no more than ten doubloons he still wouldn’t leave this ship alive unless you were by his side. 

Sirius cursed, slamming his fist into the deck. His eyes darted around in what felt like panic. He was trapped between your love and his life and while he had chosen the former weeks ago he had no way of securing it. 

In the dark, a glint of light was seen. A crate of liquor stowed next to the captain’s quarters revealed itself to the pale moon. The man's mind buzzed, he realized quickly that he would need to act fast, the hours of the dark he had left must be well used. 

The deal had been easy, one glance at the large gem and you had a buyer offering hundreds. You walked away with 400 doubloons knowing it was worth much more. Not that you cared, you had been hours from chucking the necklace into the sea. 

It was late at night now, the golden light of pubs and brothels spilling onto the gravel road you walked. Your legs still felt weak, they were accustomed to the sway of boats on sloshing waves not the strange sturdiness of the ground. You hadn’t been able to sleep well on land since you had stepped off it, you had always opted for a swinging hammock over a still cot. 

You swung your bag of coins round in circles as you made your way to the beach. The water was smooth save the ripple of waves drawn by the full moon. Sand glistened silver under your boots, the light crash of water on rocks echoing around you. 

You had never intended to spend the full night on land, your crew was well aware of this fact and none would be surprised to find you gone in the morning. You shoved one of your beached row boats back into the water, splashing about ankle deep before leaping into it. 

When you reached your ship, you sensed something was wrong immediately. The small voice which you tended to ignore was screaming in the back of your head. As you climbed onto the deck the strong scent of liquor overwhelmed you. You heard a soft splash and glanced down to look at the puddle you had stepped into. Swiping two fingers through the fluid and plopping them into your mouth you hummed. There was no mistaking the sharp taste of gin. You looked around to find the leak and instead locked eyes with a figure who stood about 20 meters in front of you. 

“Sirius?” You asked though you already knew it was him, you didn’t think you would ever forget his face, even if it was obscured by the shadows of the moon. 

He gapped at you, unsure of what to say.

You took a step closer and caught a glance of the bottle he held in his hand. Its thin neck was stuffed with a piece of cloth, the soft glow of a gas lamp flickering behind him. The second you realized what he had planned your gun was pointed at his chest.

“Drop the bottle Black.” you hissed with a steady voice despite the fact that your gun was rattling in your hands. Your thoughts were now fogged with fear, plagued by smoke and flames.

Sirius had suddenly found his voice, “I know you’re not stupid enough to fire that. One spark and we’ll both go up in flames.”

Your breaths quickened, vision blurring as tears welled in your eyes. “Why are you doing this?” You croaked. “Why do you want to ruin everything I’ve built for myself?”

“I’m not leaving without you y/n.” He shouted, “I can’t live without you. Just come with me. Please. Just come with me and it will all be fine.” 

You shook your head, “No.”

“Please, please! I need you y/n, I can’t go back without you!” He begged, snatching the lamp from behind him, “I won’t be able to live.”

It was in that moment that you understood he was just as desperate as you, just as lost and hopeless. You dropped your gun to your side, tears sliding slowly down your cheeks. Your throat tightened holding back a sob, “Okay.” You said with a broken voice.

Sirius cracked a small smile, “I knew it.” He sighed, “I knew you still loved me.” Setting down the lamp he opened his arms walking towards you. You met him halfway burying your face into his rough jacket.

“God I missed you y/n,” he whispered as you slipped a knife from under your sleeve.

“I’m so sorry Siri.” You mumbled in response before plunging the blade into his back. 

You held him as he collapsed forward, choking back on his own blood. You had begun to sob, hand still clutching the hilt of the blade which was lodged into him. Eventually his weight became too much to bear and you both fell to the ground. Sirius rolled off next to you, his hand still clasped around your own. The two of you started up at the stars listening as his breaths slowed. Just before they stopped completely you felt a small squeeze of your hand and for just a moment you saw the soft pink of a petal floating towards you.

You weren't sure how long you lay there, staring up at the sky but it was long enough for you to finally realize that you were the villain of your story. It was an odd thing to recognize considering in all of the books you had carried as a child you took the place of the protagonist; the one who swung the sword to save the kingdom You had always been the one to end your life with a happily ever after. 

Now you had realized that you had never been a hero. You had spent your life as a villain in the making, each step you had taken leading you closer and closer to your undeniable fate of evil. You had your chance to be the princess trapped in the tower, but you had ignored the prince and now took the shape of a witch. A witch who stole and killed and burned all that she hated. Some had to do it after all, we can’t all be heroes. There is no story without a villain, at least not one worth reading.

As much as the small baker girl who rested amongst the magnolia tree would have hated you, the woman you saw when you looked in the mirror was okay with who you had become. And if she was okay with it, then why did it matter what the past would have thought? You had been running from it for years and now you would never have to again. Because now your past ran from you. 

taglist:

@april-showers-and-flowers @fleurmoon @chaosinparadise @re-zerohora @pregnant-piggy @approved-by-dentists @theweirdobella @fific7 @whitewashedghanianlol @artemis1orion @justmesadgirl @bberree @songforhema @wangmangagavroche @evyiione @atomicpunkrock @fairywriter-oracle @moon-zodiac @secretsofageek @accio-rogers-blog @roslea @k3nz-doodl3 @theseuscmander @sleepingalaska @chloe-geoghegan1 @obsessedwithrandomthings-blog @coldlilheart @suseptiable-bur-siriusexual @inglorious-imagines @the-natureofme @trickylittlewitch @layaa-layaaa @teheharrypotter @sarcasticallywitty15 @rosieweasleyy @dracosgoodgirl @inglourious-imagines

so many of u changed ur urls so if I have the wrong person tagged or the wrong username let me know

Masterlist

[oathkeeper-of-tarth]

2020 SU Fic Sampler - WIP Showcase

So in my continued attempts at distraction, I trawled through my SU fanfic folders, looked at the ol’ endless WIP pile. Figured I’d do a little roundup of some that are in something resembling a decent state. Maybe even see where interest lies and all that, get some attention and validation, you know, all that good stuff one craves. Of course, there’s loads more than this, and I might one day post some things I wrote but never quite managed to finish up, or that got super jossed in ways I couldn’t get myself to work around.

Now, in no particular order, here’s 8 draft snippets totaling almost 6000 words - not very polished, obviously, some quite rough around the edges, some long, some short, some that work better without context than others. But here they are anyway, with an utterly predictable array of focal characters. Any missing segments or my asides/notes in the text are [written like this], because I usually write very non-linearly. Hope you all like mood whiplash! 

P.S. I live for comments.

Like Talking To A Wall, aka Bismuth making friends with the wall, statue, and floor Gems. Early precursors to radicalisation and “I would have liberated everyone”, perhaps. Started as one of my first reactions to the Diamond Days episodes.

“Hey, thanks for listening.”

“Anytime. You’re lucky I’m so supportive,” Mica piped up from up on her arch.

Bismuth laughed. Bittersweet. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess I am.”

Then, with a surprisingly gentle hand pressed to the carvings she’d been so careful about, she added a soft: “I’ll miss you.”

“Chin up! It’s gonna be a lovely off-planet adventure for you,” Granite rumbled from just above her head. “A brand new colony! Think of the sights!”

“You can tell us all about it when we see you again.”

Bismuth leaned back, pressing her whole back against the wall, reluctant to leave, even if a snooty shift supervisor was bound to come around and chase her off soon. “Yeah, I’ll make sure to do that.”

They all knew very well that, as always, when the building was done, it was goodbye. The chances of there being a need for repairs or remodelling - and the exact same bismuths being brought in to do them - were incredibly slim.

But pretending was nice, sometimes.

-

Hey, Steven, think I could get a moment before we leave? I won’t be long.

-

They were right where she’d left them, and the years had done very little to change them. A bit of a patina there, some dust, the tiniest bit of wear on sharper corners.

“Bismuth?” Several familiar voices cried out to her in shocked recognition.

She knew she must look a sight - battle-ready and battle-worn, but armour still gleaming, and with a bearing of one who had been through much and was always ready for more. She felt her back had never been so proud and straight, her shoulders so resolutely set.

“I think,” Bismuth grinned, “you’re gonna start seeing changes around these parts.”

---

One for that favourite Pearletariat/Pearl Solidarity fic sub-genre of mine: Clever Pearls Cleverly Getting Around Badly Worded Orders. A bit of an origin for an as-of-yet unnamed pearl OC, because I sure don’t have enough of those!

In the untold thousands of years of Homeworld and Gemkind, and the hundreds of thousands of commands given to hundreds of thousands of pearls, nobody ever thought to Order a pearl not to think. That would imply a they mattered at all, and who would ever put stock in a pearl’s thoughts? Most Gems weren’t sure pearls could think, anyway. I mean, if they could, all that standing around would be intolerable, wouldn’t it? And imagine not being able to say no to anything, even crushing your own gem - shards, at least I’m not a pearl!

They were, occasionally, when dealing with an owner’s important, private, confidential business, Ordered to forget, or, a bit less esoterically, Ordered never to tell.

And [OWNER] has always been all too eager with the Orders. As if she went to bizarre lengths in her thinking that pearl couldn’t - or wouldn’t? - do anything upon merely being told, let alone by herself. Every little thing, from sweeping up the shards of a broken decorative plate to taking down the minutes of an important meeting [OWNER] was presiding over - (im)pressed upon pearl with the crushing weight of an Order.

But she could still think.

Even when Ordered to wait by the door, freezing her limbs and anchoring her legs to the ground with all the force of a starship mooring mechanism. Even when Ordered into silence for days and planetary rotations on end because [OWNER] had wanted to read an important document without being disturbed and it simply didn’t occur to her to lift it when she was done.

In the wake of the Rebellion and the Renegade Pearl, it only gets worse, and soon enough pearl can barely remember the last time a single movement she made was voluntary.

---

SU Future-era Bismuth and Steven convo I scribbled down in between some of these recent eps - after Growing Pains in particular I think - because Bismuth is the absolute pep talk queen.

“You already said you were sorry for trying to kill me in the Forge, and really, it’s okay, it was all a misunderstanding. Besides, it’s more than a lot of people have done!”

Bismuth blinked at the pinkish sheen around Steven’s cheeks, around the downturned brows - strange trick of the light, that. “Steven, come on. Just listen to me for a minute.”

“Okay,” Steven sighed, and leaned against the railing Bismuth had fixed just that morning.

“Point is, for me, the war had never ended. It wasn’t only yesterday, it was today. It was over for everyone, it seemed, except for me. And getting over that, getting used to that, really seeing that as the truth, not living every day buzzed up with that anticipation of the next battle, just waiting for Homeworld to come down hard on us with whatever new horror they’d come up with… that took a while. And it took help.”

[sudden apparent non-sequitur but It’s An Allegory, Steven.]

“When you make a sword, you can’t make it rigid and unyielding. You can’t just temper it into toughness and hardness and make it unbreakable. It needs to have some give in order to be durable, it needs to be able to bend so as not to shatter on impact. And sure, maybe the first parry or strike wouldn’t be the one to do it, but the tenth, the hundreth, the thousandth? Any time you might just find yourself holding on to a hilt with the jagged remnants of everything, and shards scattered on the ground. And if you’re very lucky, that’ll happen during friendly sparring, not in the heat of battle.”

Steven shrugged without response, and seemed to be shrugging off all the words as well. Back to the direct approach it was, then.

“Now you, Steven,” that at least got a bit more attention, “Sure, you can brawl with the best of ‘em, and you put that gem to damn good use. You’ve got great technique drilled in, too - I’d expect nothing less from one of Pearl’s students. But that’s not how you won, in the end, is it? You never won because you were tough, or strong. You have a diamond in you but you’re not hard at all. Well, except on yourself.”

“In the end all of this was possible because you were soft. Just malleable and pliable enough when it was needed. And that takes guts.”

“Hey, I’m just saying,” Bismuth put a hand on his shoulder, and even with all the very human growing he’d done, he still seemed to almost disappear in it. “You put yourself out there for others… maybe it’s about time you let them help you.”

---

The next chapter of the His Dark Materials/Daemons AU which I am sooooo painfully late with it’s not even funny anymore. Already posted some excerpts [here] and [here].

“She’s been... away on business, but we’ve sent a zeppelin for her and she’s well on her way back. Hopefully.”

“You have a zeppelin?” Rose was rapidly failing in all her efforts to keep her voice down. 

“Of a sort. We, er, we... stole it.”

“Stole-!”

“Yes, well, stole might be a strong word,” Pearl tapped a finger against her chin. “You see, there was a small decommissioned postal craft left below the southern mail station aërodock that nobody would ever miss, all I had to do was fix it up a bit and-”

Rose blinked. “You fixed a decommissioned zeppelin.”

Pearl waved a hand almost casually. “I had some help, but yes. Svalbard, understandably, is hard to reach with other means of transport, and Bismuth needed to be able to go back and forth.”

“You,” Rose began, awed, “are utterly wasted on bringing me my slippers, I’ll tell you that.”

“Well then, maybe,” Pearl blushed, but there was nothing hesitant about her smirk and the strikingly proud tilt of her head, “maybe you could take them off with a bit more care than kicking them halfway across the room and sending them off under the cabinets and- and then I wouldn’t need to do that at all. And I could fix all the zeppelins in the world.”

-

[more from the super secret backroom rebellion meeting]

“They’re with the Consistorial Court of Discipline, no doubt. Always on the lookout for,” Bismuth grimaced, “heretics. A lot falls under that. A lot of good excuses to snatch someone off the street and do who knows what to them. And they’ve been funneling people there, people vanished by the CCD. Not lacking in test subjects lately.”

“How did you get this? Where?” It was Sapphire, this time. Ruby seemed overwhelmed, and sat clutching her hand desperately as the tiny frog and hare both whispered something to her.

“We traced the funding for all this. It was difficult and deliberately obfuscated, but we managed. A facility like this, an entire operation, cost a pretty amount, you’d assume - and you’d be right. It had to come from somewhere. And whoever was paying for it was likely to want to know what was being done with their investment.”

“So we followed the trail. And it turned out I was… ideally positioned to… to, erm, procure what evidence there was to be found. Because, well...” Pearl trailed off, and lifted one of the stolen report sheets for all to see.

It was as clear as day, the family crest right above the astronomical amount being granted. Four diamonds, neatly arranged.

Neshu’s ears were flat against his mane, and Rose found herself wishing the ground would simply open up and swallow both her and him and the chair that she sat on and he’d tried to duck under.

Bismuth spoke up, grim, every drop of earlier exuberance gone from her. “When the Diamonds look out from the windows of their mansion, they don’t see people. They see tools, toys, and weapons. Nothing else.” She sounded more tired than angry. “It’s just what they’ve always been doing, but writ large.”

---

And then, of course, the Longass PearlRose Fixit because I hate the gag order but at the same time want it gone… slowly and organically. Alternating Rose and Pearl POVs spanning throughout the rebellion era, all sorts of flashbacks and Imagining Things included. At one point they end up attempting to essentially jailbreak Pearl, because Pearl is, as we all know, absolutely the most hardcore. Also thank you SU Movie for confirming all the awful Alexa-flavour fanon/headcanons and giving me an excuse to dive into a bunch of Gems-as-AI tropey stuff, on top of everything. [another previously posted fragment here]

“I don’t want to. I never want to do that to you again.” She stops, takes a breath, reconsiders. “And I know it’s a lot to ask of you, the trust I just… trampled over. So I want to make sure that it’s not just that, you trusting me not to make the same mistake again, with no reassurance anywhere. I—I want to not be able to. Nobody should be able to do that to you.”

“Nobody should be able to do that to anyone,” Pearl corrects readily.

“You’re right,” Rose smiles, only a bit wry, “as always. My brilliant, brilliant Pearl. What would I do without you?”

“Never get back to the point you were trying to make, I imagine,” Pearl quips with something resembling sauciness, and Rose feels at least some of the weight starting to lift off her.

“Right,” Rose agrees, chastised, and tries to focus. “I just… I’m not sure how, or what I need to do at all. It’s not like there’s much precedent – ownerless pearls are unheard of. Even when their owners get shattered, it’s only ever temporary, and, with such high demand, very brief.”

Pearl nods in agreement, and hums. “Luckily, we’ve seen plenty of unheard of and unspeakable things here.”

[echoes of Scabbard convo]

“I want to know, I want to be certain, that you’re here because you want to be.” 

“So do I.” Pearl responds quietly, letting their fingers entwine.

  [Giving an order not to follow orders doesn’t work, failsafes exist. Then they try a sort of ownership transfer thing, and try to make the new owner Pearl. It doesn’t register, “invalid transfer target”, even when Pearl tries to hack it - some odd gem tool that scans and pokes at her gem - she gets all bummed out because she can’t even reprogram a very basic and modifiable handheld tool/device to recognise a pearl as an actual gem and person. What chance does she have against hearts and minds and an entire ingrained culture of an entire sprawling empire?

“You changed my mind,” says Rose all softly and earnestly.

Have I really? Pearl asks herself but doesn’t let it escape out loud. Still. Step by small step, she admits to herself. Incremental, slow, but persistent work. She can do that. Even as down on herself as she is, she can do that.]

“The… the override.” Pearl breathes out suddenly.

“What?”

“The administrative override - you, or, well... Pink Diamond should be able to trigger it, even without a Rejuvenator. We shouldn’t…” Pearl looks strangely scared now, swallowing small gulps before pushing onwards, hands trembling and fingers knotting together, “w-we shouldn’t need a full reset, really, but. But we can try modifying the owner identification...”

Having to… turn into Pink again (turn back into yourself, you mean, a small voice whispers, who are you trying to fool) doesn’t sit well with her, of course, but. Get a hold of yourself, Pearl certainly has it so much worse in this scenario.

[more here about how they both need to kind of “revert” a bit to try this and it sucks, because no! unpleasant poking of holes in the elaborate fantasy! For the greater good, but still.]

And oh, Pearl looks just about ready to either cry with some strange terror Rose has never seen her display, or dissipate her form on the spot - the small dam of coldly throwing around terms like administrative override activation and owner identification variable providing just enough distance for her to carry on.

“It shouldn’t be too risky if we’re… if you’re careful.”

[Pearl trusts her with everything, her literal entire self - with this thing that is such a blatant violation of her being and her person, that she now wants to turn against itself, using one of the most humiliatingly clearly objectifying aspects of her status as an instrument of her liberation. It is all A Lot.]

Rose remembers, also, with a sting, the way she grumbled and sulked over the gaping pit of guilt in her stomach and refused to even look at the glowing, floating shell Blue was so insistently pushing her towards. She wanted her Pearl back, not whatever White and the others had decided to foist upon her now. Not a pale replacement, nothing they deemed suitable.

-

“Please state preferred customisation options.”

“Come on, Pink,” Blue urges, softly but mercilessly as ever, large hands enveloping Pink almost whole from where they’re planted on her shoulders, “White had her specially made, just for you! And we helped as well - only the best for our Pink. Now it’s up to you to put your finishing touches, as is proper-”

“What for? You’ll just take her away when you feel like it anyway,” she grumbles into her arms, curling up on the floor and resolutely refusing to look even as the glow spreads from the corner of her eye, insistent.

Just as insistent as the awfully familiar little voice. “Please state preferred customisation options.”

“I. Don’t. Care!” But now with a newly noticeable, if strained restraint - not, like her usual, punctuated with a slam of her fist on the floor tiles, perfectly shiny and pink. No, she couldn’t- do something like that again-

“Default setting selected. Please stand by.”

Yellow scoffs and moves to leave. “Come on, Blue. No point to us wasting our time being here if she’s just going to throw one of her tantrums.”

But Blue refuses to leave it at that, and makes sure to cut with parting words, before slinking through the large pink doorway. “I am very disappointed in you, Pink. To act like that, and with White personally making sure you got such a lovely gift even after everything...”

“Waste of good nacre, if you ask me,” Yellow muses from somewhere up above. “At least try not to break this one.” 

The glow intensifies with a hum, and Pink screws her eyes shut and pretends not to see or hear anything. 

By the time she opens them again, the others are gone.

But then there is another presence at her side, hovering just behind, as is proper court protocol. The shuffling of tiny, soft slippers on the polished stone - weren’t pearls supposed to be endlessly, effortlessly quiet?

“Leave me alone,” she preempts quietly. The shuffling moves away.

-

“Please identify yourself.”

Calmly, now, calmly but firmly, just like we planned it. Don’t mess this up now. She’s counting on you. She trusts you. “Pearl.”

“Please state preferred customisation options.”

They’ve discussed this too, of course - extensive (over)preparation and planning down to minutiae is Pearl’s go-to at the best of times, and something she clutches at for comfort at the worst of times. And she’s always, to a sometimes comical extent, despised that ridiculous dress. To a wonderful extent, too, all things considered.

“Revert to last implemented appearance.”

“Settings selected. Please stand by.”

[Of course this doesn’t work because all it does is change the $username$ variable, not the actual identity of the person imprinted: it’s still Rose/Pink, she’s just nicknamed “Pearl” now, but she can still give orders and everything.]

[evolves into Pearl literally hacking herself… the most hardcore of modders]

---

Pearl Playing the Field aka “why not hyper-analyze that one brief shot of the notes and phone numbers in Pearl’s gem and write 9 meet-cutes”. Pearl goes out to “find herself”. Whatever that is supposed to mean. Supposed to be set pre-ASPR, but also extends past it. Ended up with some Bispearl in it too because I am predictable and can absolutely not help myself.

“Your hair is wonderful!” She feels like she almost has to shout to be heard over the din of the bar’s ill-chosen soundtrack, and she doesn’t appreciate it. Definitely not one of her favourite places she’s decided to visit recently. And the ventilation is atrocious.

But still, she’s come all this way, so she may as well make the best of it. And while the preoccupation with hairstyles during first meetings seems like a bit of an odd running theme (can it really be termed a running theme, though, if it’s happened all of two times?), it’s certainly worked in the past (recent, very recent, and hardly bursting with relevant instances, Pearl!). Oh, and this particular one is just too fascinating. Approaching a work of art, Pearl would dare say. Especially, well. Especially when paired with the lovely eyes and striking jawline and strong neck it seems to deliberately be drawing attention to.

Pearl leans on the bar, in the bit of space the woman happily makes for her, and tries to look confident and well-informed, but not smug, no, never smug. “I know... about the, uh, goop, of course. I know how one accomplishes this.”

The woman gives a bemused smile. “Thanks! Not too shabby yourself.” She leans in closer. “I'm actually in school for it.”

“School?” Pearl casts desperately back to what she's heard from Steven and Greg's often hasty instruction. That was for educating human children, wasn't it? She'd put one together for Steven that one time, with desks and a blackboard… and Connie attended one regularly...

“Yeah, kind of a late game career change.” Pearl nods along as she realises - or, rather, remembers - she is absolutely terrible at gauging human ages. “But I thought... after almost 30 years in accounting and not going anywhere I wanted to be going... it’s not like we have all the time in the world, right? So I figured, why not? Go for something I'm actually invested in and that I've always wanted to do, y'know?”

“Oh. Oh yes, yes I do.” And for once, she really does. Well, not the time-related bit, perhaps, but the very particular delight of getting to pursue one’s genuine interests after a long while of being denied? Absolutely. “I’ve done something of the sort myself, actually. Go for it! As they, uh, say.”

The dramatic gesture of almost punching the air with a closed triumphant/defiant fist might have been a tad over the top, but it wins her a smile that doesn’t seem unkind. The woman winks and tips her glass at Pearl, then finishes her drink - something sweet-smelling and almost as colourful as her hair.

“I had a classmate do this one for me, and I did hers after.” Pearl is nodding along again, leaning in to hear better as the woman’s voice dips lower. “I kind of like to experiment, push the limits, go wild with it. Hey. You interested? Promise I won’t go too wild on you.”

Pearl's mind goes blank there for a moment. The woman is… very close, and there are unignorable implications unrelated to hair styling so obvious here even she is picking up on them without issue, and the music hasn’t gotten any quieter. Interested in what, exactly, she wants to ask, but she came here for wild new experiences and exciting novelty, didn’t she, so instead comes out with a rather strangled-sounding: “Eughhhhh...uhhh.... Ye...s?”

The woman’s expression goes serious. “Hey, come on, we don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

---

Forge Showdown AU - aka in a twist of fate Bismuth poofs Rose during their confrontation and revelations happen that change the course of… well, pretty much everything - one of a bunch of AUs where the PD reveal happens earlier and under different circumstances (I had an idea of doing a 5+1 of those at one point).

The glow of the lava coloured the quickly dissipating smoke more orange-red than pale pink, and Bismuth stared numbly at where their revered leader, Rose Quartz herself, had been standing mere moments ago. She’d lashed out, true, but she hadn’t really been expecting the clumsy blow - more of a warning, or underlining a point in their continued argument-turned-fight - to land. In all their many sparring sessions, Rose had never succumbed to something like that, would have never so much as let it brush against her. But she’d been- frozen, distracted… by what? 

There, scraping softly against the ground as it rolled with leftover momentum...

That was not a rose quartz gem.

Bismuth raked her mind feverishly, thought back through the last few, oddly blurred seconds.

“We’re not using this, Bismuth! It’d make us just as bad as them!”

“No! You’re the one who’s as bad as them- look at you, lording over all of us, thinking it’s your right to command me, order me around, like you’re, what, my diamond?”

It… it had to be some kind of imposter, or spy. Right? Some kind of… awful Homeworld plan, trying to tear the Rebellion apart from the inside. Where was Rose, then? The real one? Captured? Being interrogated somewhere, her whereabouts kept strictly secret to minimise the chance of rescue? Shattered? Impossible, they’d never hear the end of the victorious crowing.

When could it have happened? The last few battles and meetings had been nothing out of the ordinary, and Bismuth couldn’t think of anything odd or off about Rose recently at all. Not a single hint or sign that anything was amiss. Not a single misstep. Homeworld would have trained and conditioned its agents well, but Rose- Rose was singular, and utterly one-of-a-kind, and how could they possibly capture all of it so perfectly-

Bismuth startled out of her thoughts as the beginnings of light seemed to gather in the core of the gem, and all but threw herself onto it, encasing it in a bubble.

Rose was rather special, wasn’t she? And not just in what she said or what she did or how she behaved or what she led and encouraged them to do, but… 

Her endless array of wondrous powers. Her sheer strength, overpowering ruby fusions and quartz battalions alike almost single-handedly. The healing which Bismuth herself had been on the receiving, lifesaving end of countless times. The way she called upon the organic creatures of the planet to fight for her, fighting in their name. And then, her regular absences. The way she seemed to know exactly what the Homeworld troops were up to - that wasn’t just some kind of tactical brilliance.

She dared to look at the gem again. Its hue was changed some by the bubble, but that was still in no way a rose quartz gem. No, it was an altogether different shape, but a terrifyingly familiar one.

But it made no sense!

Bismuth ran a slightly trembling hand down her face.

Pearl. Of course, Pearl would have to know, if anyone. About… whatever this was.

But if this, if she was… her, then Pearl-

Bismuth’s insides twisted in horrible ways as the implications began to flitter through her mind, each one worse than the one before it. There was the old call-and-response ringing in her ears, making her feel disoriented and sick with what had to be the beginnings of anger, could grow into a great fury, leaving her unnecessary breaths ragged: Who do you belong to? Nobody!

But-

Not Pearl, then. At least, not at first. Garnet. Garnet would know, and Garnet could See. They’d get to the bottom of this.

---

A metric ton of rebellion era ficlets, vignettes from my eeeEEeeEEeeEEE Bismuth collection mostly, which I’ve been accumulating since 2016 and have only posted some - Pearl, Rose, Garnet, Bismuth centric, occasionally with my takes on namedropped characters, some of which would now need an update to match actual canon.

Snowflake was there, held in Garnet’s arms. The familiar pattern of white speckles on black skin, the tight silver coils of hair sticking out every which way.

“We got her back. She wanted to see you.”

“Me? And you just listened to her? Are you out of your mind? How can I help? Have you taken her to Rose? If her gem- if she-”

“I’m right here!” Snowflake struggled out of Garnet’s hold, and stood up - wobbly, barely upright, but determined, on those legs that ran circles around Homeworld, and ran interference and messages faster than any Wailing Stone, in a pinch. “And I’m fine!”

“You don’t look fine, Snowy- listen, please just-”

Snowflake walked up to her, not stumbling a single time, and, gritting her teeth, looked right at her. The hairline fractures in her gem were visible from here, and Bismuth couldn’t help a wince. “Snowflake, come on-”

“I didn’t tell them anything.”

Bismuth wanted to clutch her to her chest and scream a thousand things at her, but You don’t have to prove anything to me and I’m proud of you and I’m going to make them pay for ever laying a finger on you all waged a war in her throat.

In the end she just settled on holding her close, very gently, until Garnet left, unheard, and came back with Rose, tears already in abundance.

[Later:] “I never properly thanked you, Garnet. For bringing Snowflake back.”

Garnet shrugged. “It was a group effort.”

-

A familiar voice sounded at the entrance to the Forge. “Now come along, it’s just here. Bismuth? Do you have a moment?”

“You know I always have time for you, Pearl,” she called back, putting her current project away. “What did you nee- oh.”

Bismuth blinked.

“Uh... wow,” was the only thing she could manage as pearl after pearl filed into her Forge, soon taking up most of the space around the anvil in impressively neat rows. “New recruits? A whole bunch of you, too.”

“Yes, well,” Pearl made her way to the front of the group, carefully avoiding brushing against the others on her way. She was fidgeting again, long fingers tangling and untangling rapidly, and that was one sure sign of mounting distress. “Garnet and I had planned out an attack on one of Blue Diamond’s supply lines. There was supposed to be a shipment of weapons coming in today, but it turns out it was… pearls.” 

There was something rather off about Pearl’s tone, too. Bismuth made a note to ask later, and do her best to catch her alone.

“Well, all the better for us. Nice to have you all on board.” Her jovial tone was only slightly forced - the pearls all looked like they clearly needed something resembling friendliness, but their skittishness was palpable. She turned towards a pale green pearl right at the front of the group. “Now, what do I call you?”

There was nothing but mild confusion, vague fear, and general quiet shuffling. “No ideas yet? Don’t worry about it! There’s plenty of time to decide and find something that fits.”

[she does indeed manage to talk to Pearl alone, later]

“What’s the real problem, Pearl? You can’t fool me. I can tell something’s wrong.” 

The rather flimsy front finally crumbled at that.

“I just… we- we took out the citrines they’d sent with the shuttle, and Garnet boosted me up so I could force the hatch open and I did, but then...” Pearl let out a distressed little half-sigh half-sob, one hand gesturing weakly. “They were all looking at me so wide-eyed and...”

She took a moment to at least attempt to collect herself.

“I don’t mind having them here, it’s not that at all. It’s just that… we were standing there, with all these newly-made pearls and… obviously I couldn’t just leave them there, in the middle of nowhere! And after what we did, whoever found them, they’d just have them shattered. Because of me. They were compromised. You’ve heard what they do now, haven’t you?”

“Yeah, I’ve heard. They’re the monsters, Pearl, and it’s not on you. It’s not you doing that to pearls, it’s them.”

“But it is on me! It quite literally is because of me, because of what I did, and continue to do. I made myself visible and played at being important and look what it got us,” Pearl was near tears, a frustrated blue colouring her face, “a handful of runaways and the rest being treated worse than ever.” 

The tears were out in full force after that, and Bismuth put an arm around Pearl’s shaking shoulders. “Hey, hey, none of that.”

“We ended up taking them with us, but it feels like… it feels like I forced them to come here. Is it really any better than what Homeworld does? All I did was say you’re going to be rebels instead of you’re going to serve and they never got a say in anything.”

“Have you asked them?”

“They don’t know what-”

“Hey. Just ask them, okay? Ask them what they want. We can help them either way. Of course I’d love them to stay. But it’s not up to me, and if they want to go to wherever it was they were supposed to go- we can do that, too.”

-

[Rose discovers her healing tears in a dramatic fashion - they come up with the idea to make the fountain - and thanks to Save the Light we have a pretty good idea of who lovingly made all those statues]

She gently wiped away some of the chiselling dust with the flat of her thumb, just like a tear. A magnificent, healing, life-giving tear.

This was familiar work. But with none of the endless chafing, none of the hated reminders of her former station - Bismuth couldn’t find anything in herself but reverence. And… inspiration. She was a Gem, stars knew she didn’t need rest, breaks, anything of the sort, but still - this pace wasn’t something she’d felt driven to in a long, long while. All day under the burning summer sun, and every night under the light of her own gem. All alone, as the sanctuary took form under her hands.

To get the curls just right, tiny detail by tiny detail, somehow communicate the softness of those cheeks in stone… it took drawing upon the very depths of her well of skill, because how else could she ever hope to capture the likeness of someone as extraordinary as Rose Quartz?

With small, careful movements, she formed the roundness of the lips that could spit fiery words of rebellion, inspire like no other, scowl fiercely in the heat of battle, smile contagiously, bellow out an outrageous fireside guffaw, murmur comforts so softly, kiss…

And then she did it again, and again, and again.

[in the end, Rose is presented with a veritable shrine to herself]

“Rose? Is something wrong? You… don’t like it?”

“No, no, Bismuth, it’s… it’s incredible.” The smile Rose turned on her was as beautiful as anything, but it wasn’t hard to notice it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

[girl-q]

The Originals Season 5 Episode 11: Nobody died during a wedding this time. Hurray

What a day to be alive. The last two episodes of the Originals is coming up and Caroline will be in both.

Review

The gang is back together. We are morning my baby’s death for like two minutes then Declan drops the bombshell. He knows everything, he is on vervain and wants to lead the human faction. And that was the moment I started hating Declan. He just crossed the line and is in the same annoying human cesspool as Alaric and Matt. Congrats to the Q´s most hated club. Feel free to mingle with her second hate group, which consists of annoying female protagonists in the shows. This includes Bonnie, Sybil, any Heretic but Valerie, Vicky, Antoinette, Camille and so many more all-stars. Marcel locks Declan up for now.

On the other side Freelin are all in love and stuff and are deciding to put on their wedding today. Elijah is kinda being selfish and says no to walking his sis down the aisle. They set the whole spiel up and then for ten minutes the wedding is in danger, because Freya announces she doesn´t want to have a family, because the Mikaelsons are all a broken family and she is scared to do that to a child. She is upset for like a minute until Rebekah tells her, Hey girl maybe you can do it. Yeah so with no effort Freya changes her opinion and there is a whole heartfelt emotional scene between Freelin, who as the Originals most beloved lesbian couple will from no on until eternity always referred to as one unit. Freelin forever.

Elijah’s story line was my favourite in this episode, but before that one let’s quickly jump to the Klaus and Hope plot. Klaus asks my girl Davina to help him with Hope. Davina the old wise sensei collects some tears from Hop after the girl cried on a rose about……I want to say Bill the archivist. He had one line and no personality, but I feel a connection between the two of us man. The tears are all magiced up and we find out that Hope is dying from the Hollow. It’s the whole the dark magic is killing you from the inside thing. What can they do? I don’t know, but surely something.

Now to Elijah. Elijah is struggling with a memory of Hailey we´ve never seen before. It turns out like a lot of Mikaelsons she did visit him in France. Elijah truly was at his best in France. She hides her name (sort of) and talks with Elijah technically about him and they go to an art gallery and flirt and drink and it´s really sweet and charming. They share a romantic moment and then Hayley leaves. They talk about finding each other in another life again and it´s so ironic it hurts, because in another life they did. He know, who Hayley was, when he attacked her Hayley actually wrote him a letter. Elijah is about to leave town like that selfish dude Vincent, who couldn´t even stay a couple hours longer for his really good friend’s wedding. Man

In the most dramatic fashion Elijah reads the letter and decides to stay. He goes to the wedding and both Klaus and Elijah walk their sister down the aisle

Well the wedding happens. Girl doesn´t Keelin have some sort of werewolf friends? Anyway it´s quite pretty and nice. Nobody died like Jo. I mean one could still die like Stefan. Weddings are not really great in this universe. In an ironic ha-ha they are ancient vampire moment Kol mentions something about an Italian monk in some century. How funny. Bitch I´m quaking…….Ok let’s move on.

After the wedding they dance a little and the concerned family looks at Hope dancing and getting tipsy on champagne. Fuck it up Girl. She gives a speech, which caught my attention. She said that with these happy moments she hopes to be part of Forever and Always too, which is quite sad when you think about it. At some point Hope will be dead and her father not. He can look over his grandkids for all eternity, but his daughter will die and Freelin too. Vincent and all the others will vanish and in the end it will just always be the Mikaelson siblings (+Marcel).

Marcel and Rebekah talk insisting that they will never be over and with a change of heart Marcel frees Declan and offers to teach him how to rule.

That seems about it.

 Thoughts and theories

I have something to say about the brother hug scene. The symbolism is amazing in this scene. It not only shows the love between the brothers, but how time after time family love trumps romantic love on the show. The balcony is the same balcony Klaus and Camille kissed for the first time an obvious romantic moment, but Camille is as dead as my unexfoliated skin cells and not there anymore, but who is still there with Klaus on this balcony? It is his brother Elijah. The hug shoot parallels the Klaus and Camille kiss just also from the camera shot. Love and lust went and came for these brothers and this family for thousands of years and even when all their ex-lovers are only dust there will still be the two brothers on that balcony. I though the symbolism was truly incredible. Once in a blue moon I´ll recognize that in the show and I love it.

I have an actual theory. Call the boys and deliver the world the good news. I, master of everything and funniest person on the planet, predict Elijah’s afterlife. It will be in that bar in France, because that´s where he was the happiest. He will play piano for eternity right up there with Hayley. He will see her again after his life ended. It´s just logical knowing that their parting was so brutal and not romantic at all. It´s the typical make the audience feel good moment.

Next episode

So Hope is in critical condition. She goes through her first werewolf transformation since she triggered it with sweet old Bill an episode earlier. I guess it will worsen her condition, because they all talk about how it´s killing her and that she won´t survive the night. Spoiler: She definitely will. The suspense completely vanishes when the girl is already filming her spin off show.

Klaus and Elijah go to Mystic Falls to see Caroline, because she is an expert in tri-supernatural teenage girls with a curse inside? I don´t really know, but she has been an incredible guidance for Klaus this season and is always full of obnoxious/helpful opinions, so throw it all out there honey.

Elijah comes to some heart wrenching realization about Hope and I guess it´s that she is dying?

The most obnoxious part about the synopsis is that god damn Alaric Saltzman will be A: in it and B: being in the way of whatever plan Klaus has. God damn Alaric. He, Matt and Declan are really the definition of obnoxious white boys with blondish hair, who can´t keep their noses out of everybody’s fucking business.

The thing I´m most excited about though is that we will meet a bunch of characters from the new Legacies spin off. That will include Caroline’s twins, who are apparently mean girls now.

So I googled the characters of Legacy and there are a bunch of names of minor characters, but lets only discuss the main cast, which is Hope, the twins, Alaric and two dudes named Landon and M.G.

Landon is in the new episode in fact. I don´t know about M.G, but here is who those two dudes are:

M.G: He is the black character. DiVeRsItY. Fuck yeah. Look this shit is so ridiculous. He is like the Bonnie of the show. That one black main cast kid and I´m disappointed. Beside from that he is described as popular, kick-ass and brilliant nerd. Look either the kid is going to be gay or a best friend type to Hope, who will date a twin later or whatever. Since he is a student I would guess him to be a witch since he’s black and that´s often the case. Of course a werewolf is also likely, but I don´t think he´s a vampire. But to think of it the witches are pretty covered with the twins so maybe I lean to werewolf.

Landon: Now he is going to be more main than M.G I think. He is not a student, but I think he will be. I think at some point in Legacy he will turn. Either he has a werewolf gene or will turn into a vampire. I guess the later. His description has more to offer and it says he is a thoughtful, compassionate, self-aware, romantic kid desperate to escape his broken home and his small southern town. He has a shady past and investigating it could lead him into the dangerous world of the supernatural. Hope finds him when he is getting bullied, so good luck Landon cause last time she helped someone who got bullied people died. Maybe his shady past has something to do with either being a supernatural hunter or werewolf, but I´m so bored of all the definitions. Can´t he be something new? Like a mermaid? Or anything from the sea? Why? Anyway he is a hot contestant for Hopes love triangle. The actor looks like every dark haired, strong chin, white dude and sorry hoe but Roman is hotter than you.

Roman is actually not listed in Legacy, but I think that will be just a matter of time until the last season finishes and then they´ll add more. They do that a lot on the internet to avoid spoiling too much. I think I want to see Roman again, because after all he is quite hot and I think diamond boy is growing on me a little, but don´t think that saves you hoe, because I change my opinion in a split second.

That´s almost all of my information about the next episode and Legacy characters, but before I´ll go I think the title says a lot about what maybe could happen.

The title is a “Tale of Two Wolves” and that story is actually quite a famous Native American legend. It´s about a grandfather telling his grandson a story about two wolves fighting. When his grandson asks which wolf won the fight he says whichever wolf he chose to feed. What that basically means is a metaphor about an inner conflict a person has. It could be good or evil for an example. Good and evil fight in your brain to “win” to influence you. Which side of yourself wins is determined by the actions you take and if their good or evil. For example if you´re doing malicious things the “Evil Wolf” wins in your brain. I hope that was somewhat understandable.

If we see it from a Good vs evil standpoint it could mean the Mikaelson family especially Klaus who constantly battles with that. The Wolfs of course references the werewolves in the show. That transition into one is what Hope goes through. Finally Hope is fighting a battle in her head right now, with the hollow spooking around and destroying her. I like the idea actually of that being what saves Hope. Choosing to oppose the Hollow, who obviously is an evil, corrupting spirit with her own good nature?

So yeah.

I´m out kids

The review for the Tale of Two Wolves will be out about two or one day before the finale because I got plans and I´m going to be gone

XOXO

Q