#as recovery. after reading bean's fic.

[nguyenfinity]

rinky at the ice rink,,,y

[munsonsduchess]

Lost in the Shadows

summary: eddie is still in the hospital after almost dying in the upside down, but there's something strange about his recovery w/c: 2,485 warnings: blood (it's a vampire fic so), mentions of injury, mentions of wounds, mild stalking behaviour a/n: another sleepover request, this time from @hoppershoe which I am super excited about bc I love me some vampire!Eddie and well vampires in general (you can tell I skew more towards Dracula than the Lost Boys but both are amazing). Not beta'd so if you find a typo or a mistake ... no you didn't. My editor works his lil beans off ok? Ok

(moodboard by me)

The heart monitor beeped softly, rain pelted against the windows as it poured down outside. April showers brought May flowers but all you wanted was Eddie, Eddie who still hadn't woken up. It had been weeks and he was still in whatever medically induced coma the doctors had put him into when you'd brought him to the hospital both of you drenched in blood, Eddie all but lifeless in your arms as you screamed for someone to help,

"Another shitty day out Eds. Almost got soaked on my way here" you sighed softly rummaging around in your bag for the things you'd brought with you today. Some more little things you'd salvaged from the trailer before the gate destroyed everything and a worn paperback copy of The Lord of the Rings that had been a gift on your last birthday, the inscription on the first page told you how much Eddie loved you and you held on to that love now more than ever. 

You were a frequent sight in the hospital, to the point where most if not all of the nurses who came in to check on Eddie knew your name and what you meant to the sleeping boy. At first it had taken Steve and Jonathan literally dragging you away from Eddie's bedside to have your own wounds checked out after almost a week of refusing any sort of care, then the hospital telling you that you couldn't stay the night anymore but you were still welcome to visit during the day and now only at visiting hours. 

You appreciated that they'd made an exception in the beginning, that they'd been so overwhelmed with 'earthquake' victims and one girl sitting at a bedside wasn't causing anyone any extra trouble but now that things were getting back to normal, normal for Hawkins at least, things had to change. Exceptions could no longer be made. 

So you came at visiting hours and you read from whatever book you'd picked up that morning. So far you'd gotten through most of Stephen King's books and now you were moving on to Tolkien knowing it was a personal favourite of Eddie's. The similarities between Tolkien and his friends, Frodo's adventure and your own experiences in the upside down didn't go unnoticed,

"I wonder if this is how he felt, Tolkien, after going off to fight in the war with his friends because it was the right thing to do only to come back scarred, not the same as before. Having to try and go back to the way things were because that's what everyone else is doing but not being able to because of what you've seen or what you've done" 

It felt silly at times to compare the trials of the Upside Down to the living hell that was a World War but you imagined Tolkien would understand, Eddie would understand.

So you opened your book and you began reading where you'd left off the previous evening. It was comforting in a way to know that the Hobbits would always be there, that Strider, Gandalf, Boromir and Faramir would live on forever on the page. That no matter how many times you read the trilogy it would always end up the same. Good would defeat evil, the world would be saved and the heroes would be lauded for the rest of their days. If only it went like that in real life, the government had stepped in and done something so that Eddie was no longer wanted for murder by the police but in the court of public opinion that didn't matter. Hawkins was a small town full of small minded people who once they'd made their mind up about something didn't tend to change it easily. 

The high school had given Eddie's Uncle his diploma, telling the older man that it was in everyone's best interests that the 'whole ordeal' be dealt with quickly and quietly. You'd almost marched down to the high school yourself after Wayne had told you what happened, ready to tear the Principal a new one for his dismissive words. Eddie Munson was a goddamn hero. 

➽───────────────❥

A nurse poked her head around the door after you'd been there for two hours, 

"Time to go sweetheart, I let you have an extra hour but the Doctor is breathing down my neck about rounds" 

"Sure, I get it. Sorry to be a bother" you replied, bookmarking your page and leaving the book on Eddie's bedside table, "I'll see you later Eds, Henderson's coming too of course" you placed a kiss on his temple and willed yourself not to cry at how frustrating the situation was. You couldn't do a damned  thing for the man you loved but sit by his bed and read silly stories he might not even be able to hear.

"It's ok honey, you aren't bothering anyone. If it was up to me I'd let you say but Doc O'Neill is a real stickler about rules" the nurse, Doris, placed a comforting hand on your shoulder as you reached the door, 

"Is he at least getting better?" you asked, "is he going to wake up soon?" 

"Well his wounds have healed, physically anyway. Which lemme tell you I didn't think they would have healed so fast but every morning I come in to check and they're healed just a little bit more. They're gonna scar some but I'm sure that's the least of your worries" 

You just nodded. If his wounds were healing then that meant he was getting better and if he was getting better there was a chance Eddie would wake up soon,

"Still it's strange" Nurse Doris said, "I don't think anyone thought your young man was gonna make it, it took an awful lot of blood transfusions because he kept losing blood so quickly. I don't know how the hospital kept up with it all. I don't think they ever restocked because there's so much blood missing from the stores" 

You paled. You didn't really want to hear how close Eddie had been to bleeding out on the operating table. It just reminded you of that sickly sweet smell that clung to your skin no matter how hard you scrubbed in the shower, the feeling of Eddie's weeping wounds as you dragged him into the emergency room that night. Thanking Nurse Doris you left the hospital and headed home, you weren't working these days since the town had been mostly destroyed when the Gates had all merged and as a result most of downtown was being rebuilt including the mall apparently. Hopefully minus the soviets in the basement trying to open a portal to another dimension. 

You flopped down on your bed as soon as you entered your room, shutting the door with your foot. You'd try and rest for a few hours before picking Dustin up for evening visitation, he would probably be mad you read to Eddie without him there but the little shrimp would get over it. You knew that reading helped him as much as it did you. 

➽───────────────❥

"Disturbing scenes this evening as here in this quiet suburb a tragedy plays out. The bodies were found mutilated and drained of blood, authorities say they have no suspects but this reporter wonders if this brutal slaying is the work of a satanic cult" 

The TV in the waiting area of the hospital continued playing the news as you collected the snacks from the vending machine and headed back to Eddie's room. It had been a couple of weeks since your chat with Nurse Doris and Eddie was looking a lot better. He was filling out again, there was some colour on his face and his wounds were all but totally healed, 

"You're gonna have some gnarly scars when you wake up" you smiled brushing some hair from Eddie's face, "it's gonna look totally metal" 

You watched his face. Hoping for some sort of reaction but found nothing, it was wishful thinking that he might come around just from you calling his scars metal. That was all you seemed to do lately, wish and think. 

After visiting hours ended you headed straight home, there had been no Dustin to drop off this evening because he'd gone around to Mike Wheeler's place to spend some time with his friends, when he'd spoken to you on the phone he'd sounded so guilty you almost cried. It was no life for a fifteen year old to spend his every waking moment after school in a hospital, you were happy he was spending time with his friends. 

The house was dark when you got in. Your parents had left you a note saying they'd gone to a town hall meeting and would be back late, there was a dinner in the microwave if you wanted it. The thought of food made you sick so you just went straight upstairs and fell into bed. It was all you could do to keep your eyes open, you hadn't been sleeping great since the battle with Vecna and every time you closed your eyes you saw those bats ripping Eddie into pieces, heard Dustin screaming for help. In your worst nightmares Eddie didn't make it, you had to be pried off his cold dead body by Steve or Nancy or Robin, dragged back through the gate as they left him there in that awful place. 

You woke with a start, you could swear there was someone in your bedroom. Feel a presence watching you, staring at you, carefully your hand reached for the baseball bat Steve had given you the previous summer after the fire at the Mall and the ordeal with the mind flayer, it didn't have nails driven into it like his did but it was solid aluminium so the nails wouldn't be necessary if it collided with an enemy. 

You slipped out of your bed as carefully as you could and inched towards where you could feel the presence, the room was pitch black and you knew where all the squeaky floorboards were so if there was someone in here they wouldn't see you coming. 

A shadow moved out of the corner of your eye and you didn't think, didn't hesitate, you just swung. The bat however did not make contact with the target and instead a hand flew up almost quicker than your mind could perceive it and caught the top mid swing, 

"Jesus Christ! You could have killed me with this thing!" a familiar voice cut through the darkness, your knees buckled, 

"No" you whispered, "it's a dream, it's just a bad dream" 

"It's not a dream baby. I'm here. I'm really here" 

The figure stepped into the centre of the room and was bathed in the light coming from the street below, that same bushel of curly hair, the long limbs kitted out in a pair of dark wash jeans and a black shirt,

"Eddie?" you sobbed, "oh my god eddie" you threw the bat down and rushed him. He was real, you could feel him in your arms, smell him, he was really here,

"Sorry it took so long baby, I wasn't strong enough to leave the hospital" 

"Did they discharge you? When? Why did no one tell me?" you had a hundred questions, what was going on? The doctor never told you anything when you'd been at evening visitation, surely if Eddie was fit enough to leave the hospital someone would have told you something!

Eddie went rigid in your arms. His entire body frozen like a statue as he unpeeled himself from your embrace, 

"It's not really their decision" he said, "I had to see you, just one last time" 

"Eddie you're scaring me" 

"I'm sorry baby, I am, I didn't mean to do it, I was just so hungry" 

Eddie backed away from you, retreating further into the darkness. Like he didn't want to be seen, least of all by you,

"Eddie, what's going on?" almost as if this were a dime a dozen horror movie the light of the moon shone in through your open window and illuminated Eddie's figure. 

His ears were slightly more pointed, skin much much paler than you remembered, his eyes once a beautiful deep brown chocolate were rimmed in red almost as if he'd been crying. What was most shocking of all was the flash of something sharp and white you saw when Eddie tried to speak to you again, 

"Don't look at me!" he hissed, he never wanted you to see him like this. He was a monster now, those bats had done something to him and now all he wanted was to feed. You'd seen your fair share of monster movies, read all the books, you knew what this was,

 "Why are you embarrassed? You’re beautiful, don’t you see that?" you stretched out your hands for Eddie to take, pulling him closer to you so you could examine him up close, "well this is a shocking turn of events"

"I think you're understating what's going on here by a lot" Eddie furrowed his brow at you, "baby I've hurt people, I'm not safe to be around" 

"I will decide for myself what's safe and what isn't" you told him, "Mina didn't run away and neither will I" 

You leant up slightly on tiptoe to place a kiss against Eddie's swollen lips noticing just how hot his skin was against yours. You certainly hadn't expected that, but then Eddie Munson never did anything you would expect.

As if driven by some primal thing inside him Eddie dug his fingers into your hips and pulled you closer to him. His brain was screaming at him to take you, taste you, you smelt fucking amazing and he bet you tasted even better. Those pretty veins just under the skin, how easy it would be to tear one open and just watch as the crimson liquid ran down your neck, staining your pretty white shirt. 

He pushed you away in an instant. No. He wouldn't give in. He'd already hurt people, he wasn't going to hurt you,

"I can't - I won't - You -" he couldn't bring himself to say it, to form words when his brain was this clouded by bloodlust so instead he did the only thing he could think of. He jumped out the window.

You ran after him but Eddie was already gone. You thought you saw something in the night sky, something with a pair of huge batlike wings but the moon had gone again, covered by clouds. The same clouds that obscured Eddie from your view. 

He was alive. Eddie was alive. Well Eddie was a vampire but he wasn't in a coma in a hospital bed anymore.

You would get him back. You would be together again. No matter what.

You would cross oceans of time to be with him.

Taglist: @pillow-titties @eddiesmutson @prettyboyeddiemunson @eddiemvnsonss @hellfireeddiemunson @that-lame-ghoul9000 @ches-86 @boomhauer @flashyourgreeneyesatme @xbreezymeadowsx @slytherinintj13 @wheaty-melon @inluvweddiemunson @lucciaa9 @shenanigans-and-imagines (if you're scored out it means tumblr won't let me tag you properly)

[antimony-medusa]

Fic Recs July '23

What did I read this month? Aufest released, and I made it through the end of Extreme timed exchange, and there have been some WONDERFUL ones. Not entirely DSMP, even though I am Still That Way, but yeah, it's still a lot of Emduo. I Am Who I Am. And we have some TNTduo and QSMP in there too!

The Fics - 15k and under

O'Death by InsomniWillow Fandom: QSMP | Quackity SMP Rating: G Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationship: Ángel Missael Castañeda Vega | MissaSinfonia/Phil Watson | Philza Tags: Arranged Marriage, Religion, Winged Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Hurt/Comfort Length: 1/1 chapters 2,950 words.

It's a Phissa arranged marriage! Missa-POV, about a death cleric being betrothed to the Emperor of the Antarctic Empire, and it goes into religion, and it's SO CUTE. I love it.

how to get a month behind on your paperwork in three easy steps, by Beans_McGee Fandom: SMPEarth Rating: G Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationship: Technoblade & Phil Watson | Philza Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Recovery, Missing Scene, Kidnapping, (aftermath of), Diplomacy, (arguable), Domestic Length: 1/1 chapters 2,440 words.

Beans always writes just incredible Emduo, and this is no exception. And it's just a wonderful slice of life of after a kidnapping, where Phil has busted ribs from CPR? I learned about broken rib recovery! I got to read about my guys and I learned about injury-induced pneumonia!

disaccharide by fensandmarshes Fandom: Dream SMP Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationship: Technoblade & Niki | Nihachu, Niki | Nihachu & Jack Manifold, Niki | Nihachu & Fundy Tags: Non-Linear Narrative, Memories, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, The Syndicate (Dream SMP), Baker Niki | Nihachu, Complicated Relationships, Character Study Length: 1/1 chapters 1,010 words.

Beautiful c!niki character study, through memory and baking.

burning gold, by bonesandthebees (bonesandcacti) Fandom: QSMP | Quackity SMP Rating: Teen and up audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationship: Wilbur Soot & Tallulah (QSMP)Alexis | Quackity & Wilbur SootWilbur Soot & Phil Watson Tags: Alternate Universe - Apocalypse, Magic Apocalypse, Monsters, Post-Apocalypse, Wilbur Soot is Tallulah's Parent (QSMP), dadbur, Wilbur Soot is Not Okay, Wilbur Soot-centric, Tntduo have divorced energy despite not having dated, Blood and Injury Length: 1/1 chapters 10,367 words.

I am a sucker for Post-Apocolyptic QSMP, and this is a really good one focusing on Wil and Tallulah. We get a glimpse at a whole swath of the cast, but the core is the wil and tallulah relationship, and it's wonderful. And COOL WEIRD MAGIC APOCALYPSE.

Multifaceted, by edgarallanpoestan Fandom: QSMP | Quackity SMP Rating: G Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationship: Charlie Dalgleish | Slimecicle/Osvaldo Palacio Flores | ElMariana, Charlie Dalgleish | Slimecicle & Osvaldo Palacio Flores | ElMariana & JuanaFlippa (QSMP), Charlie Dalgleish | Slimecicle & JuanaFlippa (QSMP), Osvaldo Palacio Flores | ElMariana & JuanaFlippa (QSMP) Tags: Charlie Dalgleish-centric, Alternate Universe - Professors, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Song: Jort Storm (Slimecicle), Bickering, Family Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Mentioned Alexis | Quackity, Mentioned Bobby (QSMP), Mentioned Tilín (QSMP), Good Parent Osvaldo Palacio Flores | ElMariana. Good Parent Charlie Dalgleish | Slimecicle. Good Significant Other Osvaldo Palacio Flores | ElMariana, Betaed, never used that tag before woag Length: 1/1 chapters 8,729 words.

Slimariana are professors! And nemesis's! And their students know they hate each other! And also they are married and love each other! What's gonna happen when the truth comes out? This was just full of adorable bickering and family moments and I loved it.

sometime before the sun comes up (the earth is gonna crack), by Odaigahara Fandom: QSMP | Quackity SMP Rating: T Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence Relationship: Ángel Missael Castañeda Vega | MissaSinfonia & Phil Watson | Philza, Wilbur Soot & Phil Watson | Philza, Chayanne & Tallulah (QSMP) & Phil Watson | Philza Tags: Alternate Universe - Apocalypse, Reality Bending, Quesadilla Island (QSMP), Stranded, Dragon Chayanne (QSMP), Human Tallulah (QSMP), Happy Ending, Art Length: 1/1 chapters 10,892 words.

And we are back at it again with the QSMP Post-apocolyptic, but this one again with a really cool apocalypse I dont want to spoil.

The thing worth doing well done, by WheelCoveredInEyes Fandom: QSMP | Quackity SMP Rating: T Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationship: Rayenne Guendil | Etoiles/Tarik Pacanhan | Pactw, Noah Brown | Foolish Gamers/Rayenne Guendil | Etoiles, Rayene Guendil | Etoiles/Francisco Miguel | ForeverPlayer, Rafael Lange | Cellbit & Rayenne Guendil | Etoiles, Charlie Dalgleish | Slimecicle & Rayenne Guendil | Etoiles, Darryl Noveschosch | BadBoyHalo & Rayenne Guendil | Etoiles, Rayenne Guendil | Etoiles & Pomme (QSMP), Rayenne Guendil | Etoiles & Baghera Jones Tags: Gift Giving, Flirting, Minecraft Mechanics, Death Mechanics (Minecraft), Murder Flirting, First Aid, Acts of Kindness, acts of service, Crafts, Parenthood, Etoiles-centric, Kissing, First Kiss, Sparring, The sweeping edge glitch (QSMP), QSMP server polycule, implied polyamory, Blood and Violence Length: 1/1 chapters 6,949 words.

I have loved what I've seen of Etoiles on QSMP, and this is absolutely fantastic Etoiles writing, in a series of 8 vinettes focusing on his relationship with other people. Wonderful characterization and writing, this is so good.

sowing the seeds we reap, by Odaigahara Fandom: Hermitcraft SMP, 3rd Life SMP Rating: Teen and up audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence Relationship: Charles | Grian & Ryan | GoodTimesWithScar Tags: Alternate Universe - Fae, Forced Bonding, Soul Bond, Cultural Differencesm First Meetings, Ryan | GoodTimesWithScar Needs a Hug, Captivity, Oaths & Vows, Happy Ending Length: 1/1 chapters 6,211 words.

Oh absolutely fantastic desert duo, in a world I just went WILD for the worldbuilding of. They are fae! They are fae and they're bugs! A wonderful grudging respect and relationship unfolding from both Grian and Scar, and delightful cultural differences.

The Fics - 15k and Up

solving counting sheep, by Bee_4 Fandom: Evolution SMP Rating: T Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death Relationship: Charles | Grian & Jimmy | Solidarity, Charles | Grian & Jimmy | Solidarity & Martyn Littlewood | InTheLittleWood, Charles | Grian & Martyn Littlewood | InTheLittleWood, Jimmy | Solidarity & Martyn Littlewood | InTheLittleWood Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Winter Soldier, Alternate Universe - Watchers, Agender Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Jimmy | Solidarity, Agender Grian ,Body Horror, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Brainwashed Charles | Grian, Watcher Charles | Grian, The Watchers are Evil (Evolution SMP), Watchers (Evolution SMP), Grief/Mourning, Blood and Gore, Loss of Identity, Identity Issues, Listener Jimmy | Solidarity, Listeners (Evolution SMP), Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Dysfunctional Relationships, nonstandard watcher takes, Temporary Character Death, past major character death, look whether they’re dead is a matter of philosophy, Post-Canon kind of. SEE: THE CANON DIVERGENCE, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, accidental misgendering, Accidental Deadnaming, (the deadnaming is more allegorical than literal but i thought the warning would be appreciated), POV Character Uses It/Its, Hurt/Comfort, also i promise despite the mumbo tag this is very much an evo fic not a mislabeled hc one, Bittersweet Ending Length: 12/17 chapters 54,858 words.

Oh man like, mind the tags, this one is gonna make you weep into your tea, but also, oh BOY it's so good. I just wrote 27 of dehumanized human weapon recovery so you know I like it, and Second is doing the same thing, except SAD. But every time Three want something or has opinions or is sarcastic I cheer wildly for its recovery, and AHHH I love it. I love the whole group. What a wonderful group. I wish them so well. The ending is gonna have me crying on main probably. It's still updating, but it's in daily updates, so it's gonna finish soon! I keep being told that it's gonna destroy me so I'm PREPPED. And it was part of the big bang so there's art too!

washed up, by monsterloot Fandom: DSMP Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationship: Wilbur Soot/Quackity, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit Tags: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Unhealthy Relationships, Alternate Universe - Actors, Dream SMP Ensemble are Actors, Drug Use, Past Abuse, Flashbacks, Suicide Attempt, Suicidal Thoughts, Implied Sexual Content, No Smut, Bipolar Wilbur Soot, Tommyinnit has PTSD, Wilbur Soot is not Fundy's Parent, Adopted TommyInnit, not by phil, Vomiting, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, past quackity/jschlatt - Freeform. Food Issues Length: 2/? chapters 19,178 words.

So this is a Bojack Horseman AU for TNTduo I think? I never watched Bojack so I'm not sure, but like. Put that warning on the top. It's just SUCH a good tntduo character study. Do I think this is going to end well? No idea. Am I along for the ride while Wil drives his life off the road? Absolutely.

The Great American Novel, by astronomeridian Fandom: DSMP Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationship: Quackity/Wilbur Soot Tags: Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - World War II, Manhattan Project, Screenplay/Script Format, Period-Typical Homophobia, Explicit Sexual Content, an indulgent amount of nuclear physics, Embedded Images Length: 1/1 chapters 25,220 words.

Okay so if you're over 18 and you like TNTduo you should read this fic so so so hard. It's so good. I can't talk about the structure without spoilers but the structure is SO well done there's flips in it that make me go insane. The way the whole thing pays out is incredible. The characterization is top-notch. Like, note the tags, it's not a happy ending, but it's an ending that hits like a fucking hammer. And there's BALLER art and web weaves attached.

A Necromancer and His Blood God, by Anonymous Fandom: DSMP Rating: Teen and up audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationship: Cults, Necromancer TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Tommy is a vegan necromancer, Dehumanization, Child Abuse, Blood and Injury, Violence, Families of Choice, Bonding, Hurt/Comfort, Tommy is straight up not having a good time, Techno is somehow the patron god of a cult, Alternate Universe - Magic, Bedrock Bros, BAMF TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), hyped to be able to use that tag, BAMF Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit-centric (Video Blogging RPF) Length: 6/7 chapters 31,128 words.

Tommy is a vegan necromancer— he can only work with plants. And this wouldn't be a problem, except necromancers are in short supply, and he just got kidnapped by a freaky cult, who wants him to ressurect their god? oh no.

[prismaticpichu]

Heya!!! If you’re reading this, that means there’s at least a tinnnyy thread of interest that we share—and if we share some interests, then there’s prolly a chance you like FF7 fics just like me! Over the past year I’ve gotten the opportunity to explore so many different works and their styles, some of which have helped me grow so much as a writer! It’s more than just that though: these stories have been such hot water bottles to me, and I thank all these people with every molecule of my soul for letting me drown myself in fics of my favorite Oreo <3 <3 (That’s Sephiroth btw, I realized I’m the only person who’d undestand that.

Some of my personal recommendations! These people have written amazing things that deserve recognition and love! Yeah it’s just fanfiction, but this is my LIFEBLOOD <3

x~x~x

@digitalcactuswriting - Scientifically impossible not to smile with their works! “Go the F*ck to Sleep” was a cozy, hilarious Nibelheim-dodging story where the title says it all and “Haunted Cloud Strife doll that drinks all your pepsi” is brillliiant! Sephiroth’s nonchalance towards a vengeful stuffie is just golden xD I love them to death! There’s then “I see your star”, which is not focused on humor, but one of the most beautiful and artistic pieces of writing I’ve ever read. I recommend it x100!

@ryvian - My Zack & Seph buddy!!! I wanna burst into confetti after every precious chapter of “First Class.” The fact that they are exclusive to the OG universe creates an amazingly authentic feel to everything written, and the dynamic between these two beans is just like how two dorks should be! <3

@altocat - The first time I have ever shed a tear over a book was while reading “A Monster’s Threads”, which is a novelization recounting every scar, backstab, and lie Sephiroth ever had to endure. It is FUDGING BEAUTIFUL ;-; There is not a single beat of his life missing and every chapter is bleeeeding with emotion, My voice is gonna chip just thinking about it ;-; “Footfalls” is another personal favorite of mine, and perfectly massages the sweet spot in my heart for Zack & Seph <3 <3 <3 The imagery and craft of every story alone is GORGEOUS ;-; ;-; ;-; You will feel it all the way done to your bones!

@crisisemblem - “A Requiem of Daybreak” is only just taking off, but gosh darn it is starting strong!!! <3 Sephiroth’s characterization and heartbreak over Genesis and Angeal deserting is some of my absolute favorite, and there’s even adorable Zack & Seph scenes! Squeeeeeee!!!! <3 Even better, we have Aerith saving the day this time! I love it I love it I love it!!! It is also another beautifully written story <3

@autumnalblep - “Thing With Feathers” was something I missed a whole night of sleep reading from start to present update. I was NUMB with emotion the whole way through, and the way Sephiroth’s depression is written is just shattering beyond words I can even express ;-; I think this has to be the best Genesis, Angeal & Seph friendship story I have ever read <3 <3 There is no shortage of puppy either!! The pacing in this story is PERFECTION as we see Zack slowly rekindle his bond with his mentor, and, best of all, guide Genesis during his recovery. Genesis’s redemption is absolutely fudging magical ;-;

Finally, all of LuckyLadybug’s FF7 stories on FanFiction.Net. - I. was. OBSESSED. BEYOND OBSESSED. These stories were single-handedly the catalyst to my Zack & Seph obsession, and I think the amount of times I’ve read her Crisis Core oneshots/occasional chaptered story is priollly concerning. It’s been a bit since I’ve went back to them, but god are they etched in my heart with sharpie and cement <3 <3 Actually, the reason why I started “The Bonds That Kept Me Sane” was solely because of my overwhelming need to keep the friendship and undying love between these guys alive—Nibelheim be damned!!

And many many many many more ofc!! <3 Thank you for being so passionate about this franchise and using your talents to create such snuggly stories for me and many others to read! <3 <3 I love this community so much!

[katelynnwrites]

five sentence ficlets:

Ona (fluff)

blurb exchange:

one | two | three | four | five

series masterlists:

This Little Family Of Ours

Always Have, Always Will, Through It All

You Were Bigger Than The Whole Sky (You Were More Than Just A Short Time)

And I Saw Something (They Can’t Take Away)

✧ Because You’re The One For Me ✧

ona batlle’s the one for you. no one else could possibly come close. requested fic for prompt #19 ‘why are you avoiding me?’ with spanish reader

✧ Bad Feelings ✧

ona’s had a bad feeling all day and when you get injured during a game, she realises why

✧ It’s Always Been You ✧

where your best friend, ona, moves back to barca where you play and both your feelings for each other are revealed after an argument, part one of It Will Always Be You

✧ It Will Always Be You ✧

things get a little heated in ona’s bedroom, part two of It’s Always Been You (smut, only interact if you’re comfortable)

✧ For You, I’d Do Anything ✧

ona gets injured during a game and it wouldn’t be as big a problem if she wasn’t your girlfriend

✧ Manchester Derby ✧

ona needs you to make her feel better after losing the derby (smut, only interact if you’re comfortable), part one of I Adore You

✧ You Couldn’t Have Known ✧

she couldn’t have known. she couldn’t have known and you don’t blame her for it at all, this is the first part of this series

✧ It’s Only A Matter Of Time ✧

just fluff and your first kiss with ona

✧ Number 17 ✧

where you get a tattoo with a very special meaning

✧ All I Need Is You ✧

essentially just clingy ona

✧ Let Her Go ✧

you need to let her go because she’s found someone else

✧ Small Comforts ✧

where you comfort ona after the events of the reading v united game

✧ Home Is Where The Heart Is ✧

your girlfriend is moving to england and therefore so are you

✧ Soft ✧

for you, she’s the softest little bean

✧ Everything You’ve Ever Dreamed Of ✧

you wouldn’t change anything about your little family, this is the second part of this series

✧ On Top Of The World ✧

ona celebrates her win at old trafford with you (smut, only interact if you’re comfortable)

✧ The Sun, The Sand And The Sea ✧

a beach day with your girlfriend in spain ft. your national teammates

✧ Here For You Always ✧

your girlfriend tries her best to comfort you after you lose to wolfsburg in the uwcl quarterfinals

✧ Introductions And New Additions ✧

where you and ona take your child to national camp and they meet the rest of the spanish national team, this is the third part of this series

✧ You Didn’t See Anything! ✧

you and ona get interrupted during some rather interesting activities, clueing your national team in on your relationship (includes smut in the first few paragraphs, only interact if you’re comfortable)

✧ I Adore You ✧

after a tough loss, you and ona spend a much needed recovery day together, part two of Manchester Derby

✧ Strawberry Banana Smoothies (And The Possibility Of Something More) ✧

ona likes strawberry banana smoothies but maybe she’ll like you more, part one of Definitely Something More

✧ Definitely Something More ✧

after you and ona meet at the small cafe where you work and you turn up to watch her play a game, things turn into something more. part two of Strawberry Banana Smoothies (And The Possibility Of Something More)

✧ Morning Of (The Best Way To Wake Up) ✧

soft morning sex with the love of your life (smut only interact if you’re comfortable)

✧ I Feel Safe With You ✧

ona’s nervous about her first time with you but that’s okay because you’ll always be there to reassure her (smut only interact if you’re comfortable)

✧ Always Have, Always Will ✧

you’re scared of getting hurt but ona is more than willing to wait for you. part one of this series

✧ Through The Looking Glass ✧

different perspectives of yours and ona’s relationship

✧ Remember Me ✧

for her, you’d give everything, even if she no longer remembered you. part two of this series

✧ I Remember You ✧

ona’s remembered a little but will she remember everything else? part three of this series

✧ I Get To Love You ✧

and the happy ending…based off some lyrics from the song of the same name by ruelle. part four of this series

✧ Te Quiero Eres Mi Todo (I Love You, You Are My Everything) ✧

ona meets your ex and it ends up affecting her far more than she thought it would. (smut, only interact if you’re comfortable)

✧ Kiss It Away With Me ✧

you need ona and she needs you after you both suffer crushing disappointments

✧ Baby Star ✧

your daughter is your baby star and ona is your superstar, part four of this series

✧ Birthday Presents ✧

ona’s gonna to miss you at camp so you give her a little something as a birthday present to help with that

✧ No More Secrets ✧

ona’s kept a rather big secret from you and when you find out, it fills you with uncertainty and nearly breaks you

✧ TikToks And A Little Bit Of Fun ✧

your girlfriend is addicted to tiktoks so she tries her best to get you into it, only to be pleasantly surprised

✧ Loving Her ✧

your girlfriend is finding it very difficult to adapt to her move to england, especially because you’re still back in spain

✧ I’ll Make You Proud ✧

requested, ona and scotland wnt girlfriend after they play against each other

✧ It’s Okay Not To Be Okay ✧

ona’s embarrassed about and having a difficult time at training due to her period so you try to be there for her, in any way that you can

✧ Blanket Hog ✧

you and ona’s daughter sleeps in funny ways and the team thinks it’s hilarious, part five of this series

✧ See You Later ✧

you and ona broke up because it wasn’t your time but now, five years later maybe it is…

✧ I Have Loved You Since We Were Eighteen ( Long Before We Both Thought The Same Thing ) ✧

ona has loved you since she was eighteen

✧ I Think You Do ✧

you can’t sleep so now you’re really hoping alexia, mapi and leila are right about the feelings a certain spanish fullback is harbouring for you

✧ Love Language ✧

your love language for your girl

✧ Locksmith ✧

ona is the only one who can unlock your heart, even after she left you to go back to play for barcelona.

✧ Head Bumps And Concussions ✧

a small ficlet because a concussion sub came on for ona during the brighton game

✧ People Watching ✧

you’re very busy people watching others, too busy to notice that ona is watching you

✧ Lover ✧

the first of your hopefully many christmases with ona

✧ The Christmas Spirit Of Competitiveness ✧

my little contribution gift for this christmas writing challenge, with the prompt ‘understimate me. that’ll be fun.’

✧ Missed Chances ✧

you missed a chance with ona and now you have to live with the consequences of your actions (or rather, lack of actions)

✧ I Don’t Wanna Be Your Friend (I Wanna Kiss Your Lips) ✧

in which ona decides she wants to be your first kiss

✧ Somewhere In The Haze (Got A Sense I’d Been Betrayed) ✧

your sweet dream with ona is over, chapter one of this series

✧ What Could’ve Been, Would’ve Been (What Should’ve Been You) ✧

you’ve got a lot to pine about and a lot to live without, now that ona has broken up with you, chapter two of this series

✧ Give Me A Minute (To Hold My Girl) ✧

in a crowded town or silent bed, you were always at your most comfortable with ona…you wonder if that still holds true now, chapter three of this series

✧ Look At Me, I’m A Star (You’re The Reason) ✧

it’s always the next person that gets the better version but maybe in this case you’ll be the one who gets the better version of ona, chaper four of this series

✧ Can You Keep Me Close? (Can You Love Me Most?) ✧

all you want is for someone to stay, keep you close and love you most. will ona be able to do so for you again? chapter five of this series

✧ I Find Myself Running Home (To Your Sweet Nothings) ✧

you find yourself running home to ona and her sweet nothings, chapter six of this series

✧ When You Are Young They Assume You Know Nothing (But I Knew You) ✧

when you are young, everyone assumes you know nothing but there’s one thing ona is sure she knows. she knows you, bonus chapter of this series

✧ I’m So In Love (That I Might Stop Breathing) ✧

when you’re with ona, it’s always like she transports you to somewhere else where it’s just you and her and the love you share for each other. bonus chapter of this series

✧ We’ve Been Doin’ All This Late Night Talkin’ (‘Bout Anythin’ You Want) ✧

an insight into the times where you and ona do a little late night talking, about anything you want until the morning and a briefer insight into the times where you and ona do a little less late night talking and more of another much loved late night activity, bonus chapter of this series

✧ Got My Mind On Your Body (And Your Body On My Mind) ✧

you’ve constantly got ona’s body or more specifically her abs, on your mind and neither of you would have it any other way, requested bonus chapter of this series

✧ If You Ever Wanna Fall In Love, If You Ever Wanna Bet On Us, If You Ever Wanna Be My One (I’ll Be Waiting) ✧

the story of how you fell in love with ona and how ona fell in love with you, bonus chapter of this series

✧ Are You Gonna Feel The Way I Feel? (Are You For Real, Joan’s Sister?) ✧

your friend, joan, introduces you to his sister and now you have two questions. the first, is she going to feel the way you feel? and the second, is she for real?

[thecoffeelovingfreak]

If the spot is still open how about physician!reader x general!ranpo? If not then it’s ok :D congrats on over 60!

Hello! This was a really great idea; General!Ranpo is oddly fitting!

~~~

You Have Fought for Long Enough

Pairing: gn!Physician!Reader x General!Ranpo

Writing Genre: oneshot

Genres: medieval times, angst

Word count: 1.1k

Warnings: mild depictions of war and violence, brief discussions of blood, death, and injuries, mentions of poison, Untold Origins spoilers, angst involving familial-like relationships

Notes: I leave you with this fic while I spend the day with my mother in the city! I hope you enjoy it! :)

Read it on ao3!

for the Medieval!AU followers event

~~~

Smoke billowed from the burning forest. Soldiers fell left and right as the enemy continued their ambush on his unsuspecting troops.

He had been outsmarted.

For once in his life… the prodigious General Ranpo had been outsmarted.

~

The battle and ambush had left him with major injuries; broken ribs, multiple deep gashes, and a lost right ring finger. Your analytical gaze swept up and down his form for what must have been the thousandth time. The King rushed to his General after hearing about his state, and he now sat along the left side of the bed holding the black-haired man’s hand.

You nodded at him before exiting the bedroom of your practice, now housed inside the castle walls. Serving as the court physician, and therefore tending to royals and high society proved to be a tiring occupation.

“He is awake and seemingly coherent.” the King said. His tone was somber, but he maintained his composure as he stood next to you, robes settling while he waited for your action.

"Thank you for informing me, Your Majesty. Please go rest now; I can imagine that this day has been emotionally stressful for you." you replied, giving him a calm and pitiful smile as you entered the bedroom once more. 

Emerald eyes lazily followed your form as you brought a linen cloth and a bowl filled with water to his bedside. His eyes shut as your fingertips ghosted across his forehead, bringing his dark stray hairs back to his scalp. You dipped the cloth into the bowl before wringing it out and placing it delicately on his sweat-covered forehead. His shivers intensified as the cold met with the heat of his body.

Pieces of the poisoned arrows sat on the table to your right; the King had aided in distracting the General while you removed it. His whimpers and screams still echoed in your ears. The attackers had done their best to ensure the man before you would be dead, but the antidote you had created seemed to be guiding him back to the mortal world.

—

The sky beyond the window appeared to be that of the coming sunset. His body burned and ached, his stomach roiled and his throat was in a drought. He felt a soft tapping underneath his chin, prompting him to open his mouth and welcome the stream of water. His eyes cast you a look of desperation, and he resembled so many Generals before him; those fighters, however, did not have as fortunate a fate.

“You will live, Sir. Your recovery will be extensive… but you will live.”

A small sigh left his lips as his gaze floated across the room to your desk. They shut a moment later as he once again slipped into sleep.

—

The General was very irritable during his recovery. Sighs, glares, and his frustrated tone caused you to feel sympathy in place of anger. Although you had given him an antidote for the poison, he still struggled with mobility and harbouring an appetite.

Guiding his figure back into the bed, you picked a book off the table and sat in the chair you had kept along the bedside. Flipping to the marked chapter and paragraph, you began softly reading.

“I treated the same boy to zenzai. Or rather, red bean paste as he did not touch the mochi. I asked him why he was leaving the mochi, to which he replied that it was not sweet. This perplexed me, but I left the matter alone.

After a few moments of silence, I asked him where he gained this extensive knowledge and physical prowess he presented. He responded that his mother was a scientific genius, who worked with the watchmen, and that his father was an excellent soldier who taught him to fight from a young age.

As he continued describing his parents to me, I recalled working with them throughout my youth. Unfortunately,  according to their son, they died in an accident.

The boy continued speaking upon my query, and told me of his distaste for adult society. He told me how he was treated like a nuisance, and how it seemed that he made people uncomfortable although he was just trying to help and ease his own worries.

I felt a need to tell him that there is plenty of good in the world, but it was not my place to speak of such things.

It was not my place either, to tell this boy just how special he is. I could never impose on another again.

I rose to leave after bidding the boy a personal farewell, but he grabbed my hand to stop me.

'That's all?' he asked, 'Mister, you don't… uh… have anything else for me? I lost my parents, I've lost my jobs, I am a fourteen year old boy with nowhere to go.'

'I see you had no problem making your way through nine bowls of zenzai.' I responded.

'No, I mean, help me out! Do you not yearn to aid someone in need? Where is your spirit of altru… altra…'

'Altruism.' I said, stepping back for the boy to stand up. 'You are right, boy. You said you were fourteen, correct?'

He nodded as he rose in front of me.

'Well, since I am to take the throne soon, I can make you a squire a year before the rest.'

A large smile bloomed across his face as he trailed behind me out of the establishment. I truly had gone soft.

He naturally excelled in the training, and after my ascension and his knighting, I appointed him as my General. He continues to impress me every day, and in every battle. I am truly honoured to have him as my son and heir…"

You looked up from the book at the General. Lines of tears ran down his face, and a small pout sat on his lips.

"Why do you cry, Sir?"

He sniffled, "Have you not pieced it together, dear physician? I am the boy in that story."

A momentary shock took over your features as you returned the black leather-bound book to the table.

"Does your passion remain with war, dear General?"

"This ambush has shaken me. I have never been bested before… and I feel as if I leave this profession I will be quitting. I do not particularly enjoy that feeling."

You hummed, "Do not do that to yourself, Sir. You have proven yourself to be the greatest; there is no shame in choosing to enter another chapter of your life."

You clasped his left hand in yours, prompting him to look into your eyes. "The King will understand. You will not be disappointing him by being honest."

He sighed thankfully and softly squeezed your hand.

~~~

? - do you know what book you were reading to Ranpo?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

taglist: @stories-from-saint-petersburg @kunikinnie @goddessofself @nakaharaswife @chuuyasboots @livingforteaandorange

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[itsjustmelainey]

Before You Go

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You’re in love with Bucky. He tells you he doesn’t feel the same which is a huge blow to you.

Warnings: Angst, sadness, unrequited love, just lots of sadness I’m sorry 😭

Author’s Notes: I’m a bit late but this is for @redhead-wine-and-literature-club’s Love in Bloom, Day 21: Yellow Chrysanthemum “Unrequited Love.” Clearly I didn’t break your hearts enough the first time I wrote an unrequited love fic, so here’s another! Big thank you to @eurynome827 for reading this, you’re a gem! 🤍

It was a nerve wracking day for you. Today was the day you had planned on telling your crush Bucky that you were in love with him. The girls gave you the much needed courage to spill the beans and come clean about your feelings before it was too late. Wanda kept reminding you that he wouldn’t stay single forever, and the sooner you got it over with, the sooner you’ll get your happy ever after.

He was all you could ever think about; you woke up thinking about him, and went to sleep thinking about him. Not being able to touch and kiss him whenever you wanted was starting to make you crazy.

So you waited patiently for Bucky to finish his shower. You sat on the edge of his mattress with your hands between your thighs and your heart feeling like it was about to burst out of your chest any second. Minutes later, Bucky appeared. Clad in black sweatpants and a matching T-shirt, his damp hair sticking to his neck made you want to reach out.

“You okay?” He asks, his tone calm and soft like it usually was around you. He joined you on the bed, he used the shower gel you loved so much, you had to refrain from leaning in and taking a deep sniff.

“I am okay, are you okay?” Your voice was shaky, if Bucky noticed he chose not to comment on it.

It wasn’t unusual for you to sit on his bed and wait for him to finish his shower, it’s something you often did and he didn’t mind. “So what do you want-”

“I’m in love with you.” You blurred out before you could stop the words from tumbling out from your mouth. Idiot!

Bucky’s eyes grew wide as he took in your words, then you noticed that familiar frown he always seemed to have when he wasn’t happy.

“Uh…”

“I’m sorry, but it’s true. Buck, you’re the best thing in my life and I just had to tell you because it was driving me insane.”

“Y/N, I-”

“I know it’s a lot right now, with your recovery and everything but-”

“Y/N. Can I speak?” His tone came off sharper than he intended. You swallowed thickly, and nodded.

“I’m flattered, I really am. But I’m not ready for that, I’m not sure I will be ready for that… with you. I see you as a teammate and a friend.”

Oh, ouch.

“Oh.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound so blunt but I’m just being honest with you.”

You wanted to cry, you could feel the pain in your chest but crying in front of Bucky wouldn’t have been a good idea. You smiled through it and shrugged it off like it was no big deal, like he didn’t just punch a hole through your chest.

“No, it’s okay. It’s okay, I appreciate your honesty and, uh yeah. So I guess I should go before I embarrass myself even more.” You croaked, your throat felt tight, and tears would fall any second now. Bucky said nothing as you sheepishly stood up, keeping your head low as you left his room. Sadness swam in his irises as the door closed, guilt eating away at him. He knows he should go after you to give you a hug and reassurance he still needs you. He’s about to open the door when he hears Wanda’s voice on the other side.

“Are you okay?” She asks, opening her arms up to you.

“It feels like the end of the world.”

[shotorozu]

During the sports festival when everyone’s fighting against another student, I was wondering if you could do head cannons of Shinsou, Bakugou, and Mirio reacting to their quirkless crush that fights like a total badass against some bully student that underestimates her. She can whoop anybody and is a pro with close quarters combat so she has inhuman reflexes, strength (can yeet boys bigger than her easily), and knows what to do against others with strong quirks when close enough so she’s scary when fighting but she’s actually a very sweet and mellow person when people initiate a friendly conversation with her but she doesn’t take to kindly to disrespectful mofos like Monoma or others trying to put her down for being quirkless. She loves being underestimated just to see the looks on her opponent’s faces after beating the dog shit outta them.

(I’m sorry that it’s a lot but I get very descriptive with things like this 😭, if you don’t want to do it just ignore it)

i love requests like this 🤠 i don’t like how some people portray Y/N as a doormat, so do i love powerful! Y/N? yup.

quirkless! reader whooping ass

characters : shinsou hitoshi, bakugou katsuki, togata mirio

fic type : headcanons [kinda angsty?? turns into mild fluff]

legend : [Y/N = your name] since anon said “she” i’ll make it f!reader. reader’s ability matches to anon’s description too

notes : still doing all of my requests 🤠 just be a lil more patient :))

　　　　　　　≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

shinsou hitoshi

he saw you in 1-A and sat there and wondered what your quirk was at first

then it dawned on him that you’re quirkless

would’ve been lowkey bitter if he didn’t already like you so much

he’s not bitter because of his feelings. you’re actually really sweet— it would feel like a crime to hate on you

but, you don’t tolerate any slander, nope. you will clap back if anything happens

anyways, he admires you a lot— since he can finally relate to someone.

since both you and him don’t really have ‘flashy’ quirks i mean,, you don’t really have one

he’s seen you study and train from afar so you could finally hone your abilities

and so that you could catch up with your class

so, safe to say— you’re capable.

but is he a lil worried when he sees that you’re up against someone that’s been tormenting you?

kinda.. but he knows he shouldn’t underestimate your abilities

so he sits back and watches you practically beat the shit out of your bully in the match

and he’s like ❤️👄❤️ wow

afterwards, he makes sure to check if you’re okay.

and it’ll take a while for him to finally confess his feelings, because.. insecurities

he’s so happy you said yes

if anyone teases you for having no quirk,

shinsou, like the lanky person he is— will tower over them and scare them off

(even if they were taller than him, they’d be a lil scared anyway)

man’s lowkey a bean stalk. your boyfriend of a bean stalk though 👁👁

bakugou katsuki

imagine the treatment bakugou would give you because you’re quirkless

(basically— he’ll treat you like shit)

he’ll think you’re the BIGGEST extra, like.. why are you even in the hero course??

eventually, you gain his respect of course.

and he can actually see why you’re on the hero course in the first place 

you remind him a lot about deku since your nose was always stuck in a book like him. 

but in the end, it was worth it because you were always in the top with momo when it came to written tests and stuff

your technique in battle— it’s just.. 

perfect

(kinda wants to copy your technique sometimes) 

katsuki experiences field day x1 because your opponent is monoma from 1-B

which is kinda funny because.. if you don’t have a quirk—

then what the hell is he gonna copy anyway 👁👁❓

monoma’s mouth is always running per usual

but there is no back talk once you’re done with him :))

katsuki experiences field day x2 when you throw monoma across the arena

in short? he’ll make you spar with him constantly

but then he’ll be a little soft with you, he just doesn’t realize it

it’s a subconscious thing with baku <3

togata mirio

treats you like royalty

i mean.. mirio’s kinda like a golden retriever ngl, always nice to everyone

so if you quip his interest— you’ll get the finest treatment

and if you’re quirkless?? it really doesn’t matter.

if you had the baddest quirk, it still wouldn’t matter. he’s not endeavor- he’s not looking at quirks and shit

he’ll always be there regardless of quirk power, but!!

you’re so cute :)) he likes watching you study, and practice techniques in your spare time

(it’s not weird when it’s mirio, because the genuine curiosity puts you at ease.)

is he a little worried when he sees that you’re partnered up with your long time bully in the sports festival

well—

he looks pretty chillax from the outside

but he’s actually really concerned. especially if their quirk is a little different

(like.. you don’t know their weakness so oops.)

but he knows he should trust you :) so he watches as you throw your bully across the floor

he’ll be very proud of you :))

it looks like he’s just being mirio when he scand your body with his hands

but this is him discreetly checking for wounds you didn’t report to recovery girl.

the sports festival alone causes the mutual admiration to blossom

and before you guys knew it— you’re dating.

you guys are powerful, but in different ways (couple goals oh my)

(you tried carrying mirio once, and to his surprise— you actually managed to do it)

overall? the best boyfriend. take care of each other :))

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading (sorry for the late answer anon omg)

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei. i only own the writing

do not plagiarize my work :))

[mulderist]

Five Times Mulder Got Scully Coffee, And One Time He Didn’t

MSR || 2k words || @today-in-fic

A/N: I wrote this on the fly based on a post about types of intimacy including knowing your partner’s coffee order.

1 “we leave for the very plausible state of Oregon at 8 a.m.”

It was her first assignment with Spooky Mulder; a crisp Wednesday morning in September. From the backseat she checked her boarding pass once more while the taxi arrived at Dulles International. The red-orange sunrise broke through the distinct wing-like architecture of the main terminal building. The driver idled then popped the trunk and hoisted out her carry-on letting the wheels click to the pavement. She knew she over packed. She thanked him and adjusted the strap on her leather satchel as the cab pulled into the congested river of departure drop-offs. 

The sliding doors opened with a breeze of recirculated air and she paused to let a cluster of businessmen pass by. She scanned the corridor and saw Mulder hovering near the escalators, a duffle bag at his feet. He was wearing a smart light blue shirt with a striped tie. She grinned at the fact that his dark grey suit jacket didn’t fully match his lighter dress pants. On her approach she noticed a particular boyish charm to the curl of his hair. He caught her eye and gave a wave. She quickly smiled and shifted her shoulder bag once again while she pulled her carry-on behind her.

“Good morning sunshine,” he stated while balancing two cups in a flimsy caddy, “I hope you don’t mind but I grabbed some coffee.”

“Thank you, Mulder.” She was genuinely surprised. He set the caddy down on the lid of the square trash can and pulled out a cup, handing it to her.

“How do you take it?”

“Uh, just cream and sugar.” Mulder fished around in the middle of the caddy and found her accoutrements. She slowly removed the lid and doctored up her drink. 

“Not too early for you is it?” He asked after taking a sip from his cup.

“Reminds me of residency,” she said, shaking her head with a smile and pouring a splash of cream. “The line between late night and early morning was pretty hard to differentiate at times.”

“I find it’s when I’m my most productive. However the T.V. choices leave a lot to be desired,” he said with a shrug, reaching down for his well-travelled duffle bag. He unzipped it and pulled out a folder.

“Is this my debriefing?” Scully asked.

“A little light reading for the flight,” Mulder replied, watching her tuck the documents in the pocket of her shoulder bag. “C’mon, looks like we’re at the C gates.” She followed him down the corridor and to the entrance of the shuttles.    

2 “I’ve heard the truth, Mulder. Now what I want are the answers.”

He offered to drive her home. She was exhausted but insisted she was fine. He squeezed her hand when she left to go find her car in the hospital parking deck. 

Restlessness had set in when he arrived at home. Eyes darted to his cell phone on the desk, making sure he hadn’t missed a call. She’d call if she needed to. He shuffled through a stack of files he took from the office, looking for a particular case that matched a tip from Frohike. He flipped it open and returned to the computer keyboard, adding to the paragraph he was working on. The TV droned on in the background, coffee finished its brew cycle in the tiny kitchen. 

Three taps on the door. He turned down the TV and listened then heard three more. He walked across the room and peered into the peephole then quickly flipped the lock and opened the door 

“Hi,” she began, “I’m sorry I didn’t call.” She sucked her lower lip. “I couldn’t sleep.”

“Come in,” he said stepping aside. She exhaled and slowly entered his apartment, brushing a wave of hair behind her ear. He quickly stacked his work and moved the pillows on the couch. She took a seat, fingers knitted tightly together in her lap. Her eyes closed as she climatized to his space. He gave her a minute and stepped into the kitchen. When returned she had pulled her hand away from her face, gracefully dabbing at her eye with her knuckle. He set two mugs down on the table and joined her. 

“If you want to talk..”

“I don’t,” she said curtly, not intending to sound that short with him. “Not..not yet.” Her anger was still fresh. She was a raw nerve. He pressed his lips together and was patient. He had all the time in the world for her. Another slow exhale to steady herself and she reached for a mug. Cream and sugar. Warmth from the ceramic radiated against her hand; she felt another wave ready to break. He saw the downturn and gently took the mug from her, placing it next to his. She fought so hard but reluctantly crumbled. He embraced her; a shelter from the storm.

3 “Oh I don’t know Mulder, some things are better left unexplained.”

“So tell me more about this talking doll you found,” Mulder stated. Scully swallowed her bite of food and blinked at him.

“I never said it was a talking doll, Mulder. And besides, that was weeks ago, why are you still hung up on it?” He tossed the brown end of a french fry back into the bag and licked the salt from his thumb. 

“Color me jealous.” 

She stuffed a napkin in the empty fry container and added it to the trash on the table.

“Please tell me this hasn’t kept you up at night.”

“Not more so than usual,” he said with a shrug collecting their fast food wrappers. They left the outdoor seating area and started to walk down E Street. The lunch dates were a little more frequent than before. Her remission and recovery brought them closer together. Scully didn’t want to assume he missed her when she took a well-deserved weekend to herself but Mulder was shit at hiding how clingy he could be. It was all part of the process. He tapped the back of her arm and pointed at a coffee shop window. She agreed and he held the door. The wonderful aroma of roasted beans and steamed milk hit her senses. She peeked at the bakery case as he went to place their order. Mulder soon presented her with a cafe au lait and a wink. Her lips pursed as she blew on it. His gaze shifted to the perfect “o” of her mouth complimented by a subtle glossy lip tint. He then proceeded to burn his tongue as he eagerly went to drink his Sumatra roast, snapping him back to reality.

4 “Get over here, Scully”

The lights in the office were dim. He had set-up the slideshow reel to provide visual aid to a fairly vague case detail. However the only detail he was concerned with at the moment was the taste of her lips. A hint of honey from her lip balm, the whisper of milky coffee. Their cups grew cold and lonely sitting on his desk while they turned up the heat hiding amongst the shadows. 

She was needy and pulled no punches. Hand rested firmly against his cheek as tongues danced and twisted. His stubble coarse against her fingertips. Last night at the ball field had ignited a spark. Remembering the feeling of his hands on her hips, cheek to cheek in the cool night air. His weight against her with each swing of the bat. He held her close once again; entwined together in a dark corner of the basement office.

“Remind me to bore you with slideshows more often,” he said, catching his breath. A warm smile crossed his face as he admired her. 

“Shut up, Mulder,” she said before kissing him once again.  

     5 “What if there was only one choice and all the other ones were wrong?”

Three weeks had passed. Scully discovered she was leaving small items behind; a toothbrush, a sweatshirt, a travel sized hairbrush. Evening was still the preferred time of day. Dinner, maybe a beer or a glass of wine followed by ignoring the T.V. Mulder knew just the right amount of pressure to put on the tired muscles of her neck. A rush of circulation flowed through her. She leaned back against his chest and his hands wandered followed by his lips. She loved how he tenderly nipped at her earlobe, He was hard against her lower back and she worked her advantage between his legs. Clothes were shed like new skin. He was swift to carry her from the couch into more comfortable surroundings. 

The linens held her scent, the walls held their cries. Deep and passionate. Primal. Two become one. He broke first and she was quick to chase him down. Chest heaving, muscles aching in the best way. They lay together as heart rates slowed. He traced her jawline, a thumb laid claim to her full lower lip. Lust-laden eyes blinked heavily. She decided to stay. Naked, satisfied, and loved.

Morning arrived with a deep yellow glow. She slowly shook off her slumber and reached beside her, feeling an empty bed. Her ear perked up listening for the shower but heard nothing. She slid to his side of the bed and glanced at the clock. Two hours before work. Her hand clutched the bedclothes to her chest and she heard keys hit the wood table in the other room. Mulder nudged the bedroom door open. Scully smiled and ran a hand through her hair, sitting upright. 

“Morning,” she said. He approached and kissed the top of her head. 

“I got us some coffee. Cream and sugar, of course.”

“You’re too good to me,” she said before realizing it. There was always so much unspoken between them. Affection was a given but rarely vocalized; arousal and desire usually won out. They operated well without words. She blushed and swung her legs over the edge of the bed tucking the sheet closer. 

“Hey. I wouldn’t have it any other way,” he said. 

6 “We will find him -- I have to.”

She needed an out. It was too much too fast and the fuel from her anger was on fumes. Scully dried her hands on the edge of her jacket and stormed down the corridor towards the elevator. That might have been the first time she actually threw a drink at someone. A bit dramatic but she would deal with that later, right now she needed to leave. 

   Her cell phone chirped and she promptly ignored it. The car shuddered as it idled in the parking deck, her head lay back against the headrest, a hand on her belly. She fought against an angry sob. The caller was persistent. She tried to collect herself. Another series of rings and she finally answered.

“Agent Scully? It’s Skinner.”

“Sir?”

“Where are you right now?”

“I’m on my way home. Is something the matter?” she questioned.

“You tell me,” Skinner replied with concern. She closed her eyes and slowly caressed her belly once again. He was the only one she could trust right now. He was trying to be a friend. She exhaled and asked if he could meet her in Georgetown.

Scully sat down at a familiar cafe with small outdoor tables nervously fidgeting with her phone. She didn’t want to deal with the questions, she just wanted to find him. She wanted to talk to him about what was going on and they could figure things out together. She needed to find him. Her attention shifted as a couple walked past with a friendly golden retriever. The animal bumped its nose into her leg then happily licked her hand before it’s owners chuckled and led him back down the sidewalk.

Skinner arrived and set down two cups of coffee along with a handful of sugar packets.

“I got you decaf.” he said sincerely as he took a seat, “hope that’s alright.”

“That’s fine. Thanks,” she said, reaching for the cup then removing the lid and adding half a sugar packet. Her heart ached and she was sure Skinner could see it. He was quiet, not wanting to overstep his boundaries.

“I uh, I just want you to know that I’m your ally in all of this. And if you need to talk…” he trailed off when he saw the change in her expression. She pressed her lips together.

“That means a lot, sir. Thank you.” She brushed away an errant tear and swallowed hard. They had much to discuss.

[spencers-renaissance]

Rain is a Chance to be Touched Ch.15

if we cannot find the light, we will always make our own

Chapter Fourteen

This is the fifteenth chapter in my ongoing hotchreid fic! Please click here for the fic summary, full tags, trigger warnings, more information etc.

Last Chapter: Derek & Emily called Spencer for a consult, and with him off his antidepressants, things very quickly fell apart.

In This Chapter: Hotch & Penelope pick up the pieces.

tw: depression-related exhaustion, disordered thinking, reference to last chapter's breakdown, discussion of medication

Word Count: 4K

RCT Masterlist // Main Masterlist // Read on AO3

(Quick Note: A couple of chapters ago I referred to Spencer's psychiatrist by she/her pronouns, but I forgot that I assigned that character he/him pronouns wayyy back, so I've decided to go with that one. I just wanted to address that in case anyone else caught it like I did! I apologise for the mistake & any confusion it might have caused.)

AARON

"Find my hand in the darkness and if we cannot find the light, we will always make our own." — Tyler Knott Gregson

Aaron doesn’t fall asleep until well into the small hours of the morning, finally lulled into a cold dreamless sleep once he’s cried himself out. He keeps as quiet as he can, but he knows he won’t wake Spencer up anyway: he’s completely exhausted, and he’s out cold. It’s a small consolation, but he tries to take a small bit of comfort in knowing that his boyfriend is at least getting the rest he needs.

He wakes up only a couple of hours after he falls asleep, and despite feeling completely exhausted, he sets about the things he needs to do. The first thing he does is call Strauss to request a family day — thankfully, the bureau’s been a lot more understanding of his situation since Haley died — before texting Derek and telling him that he needs to take charge of the team if they get sent on a case. Then he calls Jess and asks if she can collect Jack from his sleepover at lunchtime and have him until the evening.

With the technicalities sorted out, he makes a phone call to Spencer's psychiatrist. At this point, if he has to drag him kicking and screaming, if Spencer never talks to him again, if it calls an irreparable rift in their relationship, it won’t get in the way of him getting Spencer the help he needs. After an emergency appointment for 11am is booked, he collapses onto the sofa and calls Penelope.

“Hotch? It’s not even 7am, is everything alright?”

Just hearing her voice, hearing someone ask if he’s okay, is enough to push him over the edge. “No,” he admits into the phone, not even trying to disguise the emotion in his voice.

“I’m on my way,” she says immediately, and he can hear a flurry of activity start up on the other end of the line. “What’s happened, Hotch?”

He breathes out shakily, running a hand down his face. The early morning sun, the bustling city below him, the bright apartment all seems so contrary to the current situation. “Spencer hit a breaking point last night,” he says shakily, unsure exactly how to word it. “Derek and Emily called him to consult on a case, and they were as brisk and focused as we all are when we’re working, but he’s out of practice; he’s not used to that way of doing things anymore. It triggered him and sent him into what I’m gonna guess was a panic attack? But honestly, Penelope… it looked like a breakdown.”

“Oh God,” she says quietly, and the sound of her exiting her apartment reassures Aaron a little.

“I had no idea how to handle it,” he says, dissolving into tears. “He locked himself in the bathroom and was literally tearing his hair out… there were clumps of hair all over the floor. He was screaming at me to leave, telling me he wasn’t good enough that he forgot his place? I had no idea what he was saying—”

Penelope interrupts him. “Oh no.”

“What?”

“Well, when I first found out about his depression, Spencer told me something about how he didn’t feel like he was good for anything except his brain and IQ, you know? He said that he wasn’t cut out for friendships or relationships and I’m pretty sure he called that his ‘place’. It’s stuck with me because of just how awful it sounded.”

“Fuck,” Aaron mutters, sniffing as a fresh wave of tears come to his eyes. “So Emily and Derek consulting him for their case triggered those thoughts again.”

“Sounds like it,” she agrees. “They’re gonna feel so guilty.”

Aaron knows she’s in a tricky situation: her girlfriend and close friend sending her best friend into a near-breakdown, and for a brief minute he feels guilty for roping her in before reminding himself that she wouldn’t be anywhere else if Spencer needed her.

“Yeah, I don’t even know what I’m gonna do about that,” he sighs. “I thought about not telling them, because Spencer doesn’t need everyone knowing about every step of his recovery; it’s personal, right? But more secrets between everyone… I don’t know, it doesn’t feel like a good idea. Especially not for something this serious.”

“We’ll figure it out together,” Penelope promises. “Look, I’m in my car now. I’ll be there in 10, okay?”

He sighs in relief. “Thanks, Penelope.”

They hang up and he drops his phone next to him before staring up at the ceiling for a minute, rubbing his temples. Forcing himself off the sofa, he considers putting the coffee machine on but he doesn’t want the sound of the bean grinder to wake Spencer up, so he settles for a cup of instant coffee instead, putting a slice of bread in the toaster as well.

By the time he’s finished his second slice, Penelope’s letting herself in.

“He’s still asleep?”

He nods, watching as she dumps her handbag on the armchair and walks further into the apartment. It’s always strange seeing her without her usual colourful outfits and makeup on, and although he’s gotten used to it in the past year as they’ve rallied around Spencer, sometimes it still reminds him of seeing her in her casual clothes for the first time when she got shot a couple of years ago.

“I’m just gonna grab some breakfast and a tea,” she says quietly, helping herself to everything in the kitchen as she always does. “You go and sit down, I’ll be over in a minute and we can discuss a game plan.”

He obeys, closing his eyes against the headache coming on, but it’s only a couple of minutes before Penelope’s sitting in the armchair opposite the sofa with a cup of chamomile tea and a slice of marmalade toast.

“Right, the first thing we need to tackle is convincing him to get back on his meds,” Penelope says seriously, keeping her voice low to avoid waking Spencer up.

He nods. “I know. I’ve made an emergency appointment with his psychiatrist for 11am, it’s just a case of a) getting him there and b) making him listen to him.”

“The problem is that he sees going back on medication as admitting defeat or failing at recovery. We need to have a really honest, frank conversation with him about it, but I just don’t know how we’re gonna get him to believe us.”

“Maybe we should use our own experiences? He doesn’t think any less of me or think I’m weak when I take pain medication when my injuries flare up. He wouldn’t think any less of you for accepting pain meds throughout your recovery after you were shot. He doesn’t think less of his mother because she relies on psychiatric medication.”

Penelope nods. “He has a twisted perception of himself. One rule for himself, another for everyone else.”

Something about her words makes Aaron feel suddenly, desperately sad. He’s always been sad for Spencer and what he’s gone through, and he’s been crying most of the night, but the realisation, the reassertion, of just how much Spencer hates himself, what his brain’s put him through over the last two years cuts deep, winding him.

“I just wish he could see himself the way we see him,” he says sadly, another tear spilling down his cheek, as though he has anything left to give.

Penelope’s expression tells him she feels the same.

Hotch goes in to check on Spencer as the clock approaches nine, and his heart breaks for the thousandth time when he finds him staring listlessly at the wall again.

“Morning, baby,” he says gently, making his way into the room.

Thankfully, it grabs Spencer’s attention, and he turns to look at him, misery and self-loathing written all over his face. He doesn’t say anything, but he holds eye contact with Aaron long enough for him to understand that it’s okay for him to be there, and he makes his way further into the room, climbing onto the bed. He’s not expecting Spencer to immediately latch onto him, burying his face in his t-shirt as he clings to him like he’s going somewhere, but that’s exactly what happens.

“Penelope’s in the living room,” he murmurs, carding his fingers through Spencer’s hair. There’s no expectation for him to reply, so he lets the words settle over them as they lay quietly together; the calm after the storm. Aaron hopes it won’t double as the before as well.

After a good couple of minutes, Spencer shifts, and Aaron follows his lead as they shuffle out of the bedroom towards Penelope’s contemplative perch on the sofa. Spencer heads straight towards her, curling into her side and drawing the warm comfort Penelope always has to offer.

“Oh, baby genius,” she whispers, kissing the top of his head. “You’re okay. We love you so much.”

It’s apparently the wrong thing to say, because Spencer immediately withdraws, curling in on himself as he starts to cry.

“Hey, hey, Spencer,” Aaron soothes calmly as he rushes over to his side, “what’s going on?”

Penelope starts to apologise but Aaron shakes his head and she settles for resting a gentle hand on his side instead.

“Can you tell us what’s wrong, Spencer?” Aaron asks, a knot forming in his stomach as he hopes against hope that this won’t turn into a repeat of last night. “We can’t help you unless you talk to us.”

Spencer takes a ragged breath in, turning his face slightly towards Aaron’s direction, and his chest clenches at the bags under his sore, red eyes; his pallid skin. “I’m sorry,” he says shakily, wiping at the tears on his face.

“You don’t have to apologise, Spencer. You just need to tell us how we can help you,” Penelope says gently, her hand rubbing small, consoling circles on his side.

Spencer meets his eyes, his face crumpling as he does and Aaron, in that moment, is reminded distinctly of a star collapsing in on itself. Spencer heaves a painful sob as two more tears spill down his cheeks. “I don’t want to feel like this anymore.”

The admission seems obvious at surface level, but the magnitude of such a statement isn’t lost on either Aaron nor Penelope.

Aaron sighs sadly. “Come here, baby.” Spencer falls gladly into Aaron’s embrace, sobbing dejectedly into his shoulder, sounding so tired and defeated that it’s painful to listen to.

Once he’s finished crying himself out, Aaron and Penelope switch places, Aaron moving to sit on the sofa with Spencer propped up against him and Penelope settling into the armchair.

He approaches his next words carefully. “I’ve made an appointment for you to see Dr Parker at 11am. Penelope and I will take you, and we both think that you should talk to him about going back on the venlafaxine.”

To his surprise Spencer just nods tiredly, no longer crying and instead resuming his blank staring.

“And we also think you should consider talking to Derek and Emily about what happened yesterday,” Penelope suggests quietly, an encouraging expression on her face.

Spencer looks up at her, emotions flying across his face as he processes her words and how he feels about them. Briefly, he looks like he’s about to argue, about to shout or get mad, but he quickly deflates. “They’ll feel guilty,” he says miserably. “Not their fault.”

“Your relationships with everyone have come a long way, Spencer, and that’s great. But everyone is still fragile and affected by everything that’s happened in the past year, and keeping secrets like these is only going to hurt everyone more.”

Spencer’s still and silent for a moment before he nods reluctantly.

“I think that maybe,” Aaron ventures cautiously, “you should avoid doing any consulting work for a while. It’s clearly damaging for you and is always going to come with potential triggers, and when you’re already feeling sad and vulnerable, it’s really just a catalyst for an event like yesterday evening.”

Spencer nods at that, too, and Aaron wishes he could take his acquiescence as a win, but he knows it’s coming from a place of defeat and despair, and he’ll never take any consolation in that.

“Okay, sweetheart,” Aaron says. “We have about an hour until we need to leave, so why don’t we get you some food, get you into the shower, and then you can rest for any left over time? Does that sound okay?”

At Spencer’s agreement, Penelope heads to the kitchen to whip him up something a bit more nutritious than the toast they both settled for, while Aaron takes him to the bathroom to wash up.

“Are you alright on your own?” he asks as he sets the shower up for him, Spencer perching on the edge of the bath as he waits.

Instead of answering his question though, panic suddenly crosses Spencer’s face and he looks at Aaron urgently. “Jack!”

“Hey, it’s alright,” he says soothingly. “Jess is gonna pick him up from his sleepover at lunchtime and have him for the afternoon. I’ve taken a personal day and unless a case comes in, Penelope will be here for as long as we need her. Everything’s in hand.”

“But it’s Jack’s spring break! You should be spending time with him, not herding me into the shower—”

At the first sign of tears, Aaron is quick to step in, reassuring him as best he can. “Hey, I will spend time with him, alright? He was already going to be with Sam all morning, and he’ll be dropped off before dinner, so Jess is only going to have him for a couple of hours. And if you’re feeling well enough once we get back from the doctor’s, then he can come home early, but right now, your health is the most important thing we need to deal with, you hear me?”

Spencer nods reluctantly, but he can tell that the thought of cutting into Aaron’s time with Jack is only fuelling his self-loathing. Having to accept that there’s nothing he can do about that, he makes sure he’s okay in the shower before heading out into the kitchen to find Penelope.

“I can’t tell if that went well or not,” she says quietly, not looking up from the frying pan currently cooking eggs and bacon.

Aaron sighs, leaning against the counter top, his eyes fixed on the bathroom door. “I think it went about as well as it could.”

“I texted Emily and Derek, and they’re going to pop over this afternoon if we don’t get a case,” she says. “If Spencer’s not up for it, we can rearrange, but I thought it was better to be prepared.”

“No, you’re right, thank you for doing that, Penelope. What would I do without you?”

“Aw, stop it, bossman,” she says, grinning as she nudges him playfully.

He smiles. “I mean it.”

“I know. But I’m happy to help you guys out. I’d do anything for Spencer, and I know he’d do anything for me.”

“Without a doubt.”

Spencer emerges from the bathroom a few moments later, clad in a white t-shirt and some tracksuit bottoms Aaron is pretty sure are both actually his, damp curly hair a mess on his head. He can’t help but smile despite himself; his boyfriend looking so damn cute will always be a small pick-me-up on even the worst of days.

“Penelope’s cooked up a storm for you,” he says as brightly as the situation allows, guiding him to the sofa and tucking him in with a couple of blankets to get him as comfortable as possible.

He gets a small smile at that, and a murmured ‘thank you’ when Penelope brings him over a plate of bacon and eggs, arranged as perfectly as he’d expect with Penelope serving as cook.

He flicks the TV to the discovery channel, managing to catch the beginning of a documentary on big cats, and he counts it as a win when it catches Spencer’s attention, hoping it takes his mind off the pain he’s feeling just a little bit.

They spend the next forty minutes watching documentaries with Spencer before Penelope notices the time and begins herding them out the door towards the parking garage.

“No way,” Aaron laughs as she heads towards her car.

“What?”

“You are not driving, Penelope,” he says, laughing even more at her incredulous reaction. “I’ve seen you; you drive like a maniac. We’re taking my car.”

She pouts. “I hate you.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Does this mean I have to sit in the back, too?”

He just levels her with a look that has her sighing dramatically and flinging herself into the backseat, but when he looks over at Spencer and sees a smile on his face, he’s suddenly even more thankful for Penelope.

They sit in the waiting room while Spencer has his appointment and try desperately not to make each other more anxious than they already feel. Penelope flicks through fashion magazines at a pace that tells Aaron she’s not reading a single word, and Aaron reads over and over the case notes he’d bought with him to pass the time, no more going in the second, third, eleventh time than it did the first.

Finally, though, Spencer emerges from Dr Parker’s office with a script in hand and they both sigh a small breath of relief at the idea that he’s finally getting the help he’s been needing so badly.

“Okay, baby?” he murmurs as Spencer reaches for his hand on the way out of the psychiatrist’s office, and something loosens in his chest when Spencer nods and smiles, looking happier and more relaxed than he has in weeks.

Derek and Emily come over just after lunchtime, and Penelope gets up to open the door for them, Spencer and Aaron not moving from their position on the couch, Spencer resting his head in Aaron’s lap as one of his favourite sci-fi movies is playing on the TV.

When he sees who it is, though, Spencer moves to sit up slightly, still keeping himself folded into Aaron’s side.

“Hey, Spence,” Emily says softly, taking a seat in the armchair while Penelope comes over to perch on the arm, wrapping an arm around her girlfriend, “what’s this about?”

Both Emily and Derek look confused enough that Aaron knows Spencer will be able to tell that neither he nor Penelope told them what happened last night, willing to give him a last minute out if that’s what he needs, as well as full control over the narrative.

Derek comes over to the sofa and sits next to Spencer, keeping enough distance between them to keep Spencer comfortable, though he still rests a warm hand on his ankle. “What’s going on? You can tell us anything, pretty boy, you know that.”

Spencer looks to Aaron, and the expression on his face conveys what he needs immediately.

“Yesterday, your consult with Spencer on the methanol poisoning case triggered an… event,” he explains, trying to choose his words carefully. He wants to tell the truth, but he also doesn’t want to sound like he’s blaming Derek and Emily or use language Spencer wouldn’t be happy with. “It was a breaking point of sorts and as such, he decided to go back on his medication.”

Relief tied up with confusion are the first emotions he watches play over Emily and Derek’s faces. Everyone’s been hoping Spencer will return to his medication, but he knows they’ll want more information as to what exactly happened and why they’ve been asked over.

“An event?” Emily asks, sounding a little hesitant.

Before Aaron can answer, Spencer speaks up, his voice a little tired and croaky but convicted nonetheless. “It was a breakdown,” he says plainly, not sugar-coating his words. “I was in a bad place already and I was out of practice with what a time sensitive case entails, and it sent me into a tailspin. It reminded me of all the feelings that working in the BAU caused that year, and I couldn’t handle it. I lashed out at Aaron and…”

“The details don’t matter,” Aaron rescues his tailed off sentence. “The fact is we thought that more secrets were only going to make things worse in the long run, and you needed to understand what happened last night since Spencer going back on his meds was bound to raise questions anyway.”

“I don’t want you to feel guilty,” Spencer interjects, his voice anxious and urgent. “It wasn’t your fault, it’s just the way of the BAU and if I’d been on my medication like I should’ve been in the first place it wouldn’t have been a problem, it was just a horrible medley of circumstances. But I’ve decided that I won’t be doing any consults for a while until I can get my head on straight again. It may be that I’m never able to do them without being triggered, but we’re going to play it by ear.”

Aaron smiles at him proudly, kissing the top of his head as soon as he buries back in for a cuddle.

“Oh, Spence,” Emily sighs sadly. “I’m so sorry, we didn’t even think. We were so caught up in the case we didn’t even stop to consider you and how you’d interpret things.”

“I don’t want you to feel guilty,” Spencer says again, this time from his place on Aaron’s chest. “I’m sorry that it had to be you guys that triggered the breaking point.”

“We should’ve been more considerate,” Derek says firmly, his expression filled with regret. “The last thing I’d ever want is to make you feel the way I did last year, and even though other circumstances contributed to what happened last night, we still failed you, kid, and I’m so sorry for that.”

“It’s fine, seriously. In a way, I’m glad it happened. Something had to give, and I’m glad that I can look forward to finally feeling normal again. I talked to my psychiatrist this morning and even though… it still feels a little bit like giving up, I feel better about it. And we’re gonna work on my attitude to medication in the next couple of sessions until I feel more comfortable about it.”

Aaron knows how much Spencer hates talking about his recovery, so it feels like a big step for him to be so personal and vulnerable in front of four different people, even if they are all virtually his family at this point.

“I’m proud of you, Spencer,” Emily says earnestly, and even though Aaron can tell she still feels guilty, at least it’s no longer the most dominant emotion on her face.

“Me too, kid. You’ve been through hell and back and we’re all so proud of you for getting to where you are.”

Spencer smiles gratefully, but Aaron can tell he’s exhausted from the events of the morning, so he sends a look to Penelope and she shows Emily and Derek out, but not before giving Emily a kiss and being teased by Derek for it.

“Right, baby,” he says as the apartment quietens and it’s just the three of them left. “I think you could do with a nap, don’t you?”

“Don’t wanna leave you,” Spencer mumbles tiredly, clinging to his t-shirt.

“Well how about I come and sit with you while you sleep, yeah? You go and get tucked in and I’ll be in in a minute, I promise.”

“You better.” It’s not much, but it’s the closest to teasing Spencer’s come in weeks, and he’ll absolutely take it.

He gives Penelope a warm hug and disappears into the bedroom.

“Looks like I can leave you to it,” Penelope says quietly as soon as the door’s closed behind him.

Aaron looks at her seriously, before wrapping her in a rare hug. “Thank you for today. I mean it. I don’t know what we would’ve done this past year without you, Penelope, but we sure as hell wouldn’t be where we are now. I’m always gonna be thankful that Spencer has someone as wonderful as you to call a best friend.”

“Hotch,” she says tearily, “I love you both so much. You don’t have to thank me, but it means a lot that you did.”

He smiles at her. “You should go back to the BAU. Go and find Derek and Emily who are no doubt beating themselves up and tell them they’re being ridiculous.”

She gives him a mock salute as she smiles back. “You got it, boss.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Keep me posted,” she says as she gathers the last of her things and heads to the door. “Let me know how he’s doing tonight and I’ll pop round after work to see him tomorrow, okay?”

“Perfect.”

As soon as she’s gone, he climbs into bed with Spencer and wraps him up in his arms, feeling — for the first time in weeks — a distinct conviction that everything is going to be okay.

Chapter Sixteen

Soooo, we don't hate me anymore? I really enjoyed writing this part of the fic, I'm such a sucker for third act angst and the resolution is always so satisfying to me, so I hope I managed to give you guys the same feeling. Only one more chapter to go, and then we're done wtf, how did that happen? I can't wait for you to all read the happy lil ending I wrote for you! See you next Saturday, for the very last time :( If this chapter has brought anything up for you and you're feeling unsafe please check out this link <3

taglist: @criminalmindsvibez @suburban--gothic @strippersenseii @takeyourleap-of-faith @makaylajadewrites @iamrenstark @hotchseyebrows @reidology @transhanniballecter @spencerspecifics @bau-gremlin @hotchedyke @tobias-hankel @goobzoop @marsjareau @garcias-bitch @marvel-ous-m @oliverbrnch @sbeno22 @aaron-hotchner187 @kuolonsyoja @reidreids @anxious-enby (add yourself to my taglist here!)

[third-generation-female-warrior]

Ordinary Date

Ahaha! So I did write something for Valentine’s Day, now that it’s basically over, but it’s still 9:40pm my time, so it counts! So, sequel-ish to The Path we Walk and prequel-ish to Goodbye Winter, with Talbott and Ravenclaw!Alexus, my favorite pairing to write about, it seems. It’s not a fic of the Valentine’s Day Ball sidequest, this is kinda AU-ish on what I think their first date would really be like. First date hymns, poetry, angsty stuff, the world’s smallest canon complaint, preppy-nerds-who-pine, banter, little proof-reading, this did not go remotely the direction I thought it was gonna. Things started out so nice for them. He made her feel like an ordinary girl, if only for a few hours. But she was not meant to last a whole night, it seems. Rated T, 6,000+ words.

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The soft glow of the street lanterns casted an orange glow onto the otherwise pearly white snow that rested to the sides on the main street of Hogsmeade, dulled grey by the night’s gentle darkness. It wasn’t snowing, but the clouds looming in the sky suggested that fact would change. There was a gentle coldness in the air, not a biting freeze, but it still made the breaths of the passersby illuminate a smoky puff as they walked along the wet cobblestone path. Their breathes would turn orange or yellow as the air would catch the soft light glow of the window shops. The people walking in front of the warm interiors would only have half their face casted in light, the other halves of their bodies turning to near translucent shadows.

Talbott Winger watched people turn into silhouettes, only seeing shadows as they walked from shop to shop.

He stood on the opposite side of the street of the Three Broomsticks entrance, the adults and the students pouring in and out of the establishment, walking hand in hand, or storming out furiously, one girl running out, crying. It must have been a date gone wrong. It was Valentine’s Day, after all.

Talbott’s first Valentine’s day with Alexus Johnson, the girl from his year he gave his heart to on accident and against his better judgement. It was not a deathbed confession, but she was recovering after being tortured by a dark witch when he confessed his mutual attraction.

A lot of their relationship milestones seemed to be an accident. He accidentally let his guard down enough for her to become his friend. She accidentally confessed her feelings first. He accidentally got feelings for her, more than he knew what to do with.

He just didn’t want to accidentally ruin tonight.

He was waiting outside the Three Broomsticks because that’s where they agreed to meet. She was discharged from the Hospital Wing earlier today, and he left while her friends dragged her to the dorm room to “get her ready” even though Alexus herself was wildly protesting.

Talbott was anxious, even if he would never admit it. He would never admit he was anxious or that he consulted his dormate, Andre Egwu to help him pick out an outfit.

Andre was ecstatic, almost insultingly so, to help Talbott dress for such an occasion as a date, and while throwing different clothes from Andre’s own wardrobe onto Talbott’s bed, he admitted to giving the girls tips about what should be Alexus’s outfit for the date.

So, that was how Talbott ended up standing in the cold while wearing some dull tan overcoat over a light grey pullover sweater and that was over a white button-up shirt. Not to mention, blue jeans. Overall, he was kept warm, which Andre must have accounted for. Maybe a little too warm, as the back of his neck was burning. Maybe that had nothing to do with the heat of his clothing layers. He let out a breath, that smoky breath that visibly danced in front of his face before disappearing the next second. He gently placed a hand over his chest, over the feather charm on his necklace. He pressed down, feeling it against his palm, against his skin. He was nervous.

God, who would have known he would be nervous taking out the girl he really liked?

They both agreed to no grandiose plans, as Alexus was still technically in recovery and they both hated grandiose plans. Talbott knew what his ideal date entailed, and he had a decent idea of what Alexus would enjoy for a date.

So why was he so nervous?

“Talbott!” he looked up and his heart stopped.

There she was.

“Alexus,” he said as she walked up, not quite smiling, but he stared at her with something soft in his eyes.

She wasn’t alone, but he saw only her, his vision tunneling as her appearance was stunning. She wore a neck dress that was a deep, royal shade of blue that cinched at the waist and swayed around down her legs with each step, ending just above her knees, the rest of her legs covered by black, opaque tights. White lapels peaked over the collar, and a fitted dark grey cardigan hugged her torso.

Alexus walked in the middle of a trio which consisted of her, Badeea Ali, and Penny Haywood, the three girls linking arms, walking to Talbott like they were moving down the aisle, giving their daughter away for a wedding. Maybe that was a semblance of their motivations, but in reality, he knew they were just making sure she made the walk to him, as they were rather unsure of all the spells that dark witch had used on Alexus just recently, unsure if there would be any lingering effects.

As they reached him, Alexus broke from the girls and slid her hand into Talbott’s waiting one.

“Thank you,” she said to them.

“Have fun!” Penny waved off cheerily.

Talbott nodded his head to them respectfully before they disappeared into the Three Broomsticks. He watched them leave before looking down at Alexus. He brought her hand to his lips for a second. “Are you ready to go?”

“I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t,” she replied, smiling at him.

He returned her smile before leading her away, down the street of Hogsmeade.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I feel you’d prefer to avoid crowded places today,” he started as they walked.

“I’d prefer to avoid crowded places any day, but since the rumors of my dating habits have been picking up, I would prefer to be away from as many other students as possible.”

“As you wish,” Talbott said, winking at her.

Alexus rolled her eyes, still smiling. “Since when do you watch The Princess Bride?” she asked.

“Since you mentioned how good it was in five letters after fourth year,” he chided.

“It was good!” Alexus said defensively.

“Well, you always were a sucker for romance. Who would have known?”

She poked his side. “You have no room to talk, Mr. Read-Poetry-to-the-Girl-in-the-Hospital.”

He stopped walking and looked down at her. “As I recall, you enjoyed being read to.”

She stood on her toes to kiss his cheek. “I never said I didn’t.” She walked further along, dragging him with her a few steps until he started walking on his own, again, taking the lead.

“You’re… impossible,” he said with admiration and burning cheeks.

“You’re paradoxical,” she retaliated as she fell into step with him. Before he could question her adjective, she continued. “Where are we going, anyways?”

He frowned, but let it roll off his shoulders. “You can fly, yes?”

“As gracefully as the day I first transformed.”

“Oh dear, we might be in trouble then.”

He laughed as she nudged his side with her shoulder.

“The Courtyard, Alexus. The Clocktower Courtyard.”

She raised an eyebrow. “You have me escorted all the way to Hogsmeade just to fly back to Hogwarts?”

“Well, eventually. I thought you’d enjoy Honeydukes first. You can tell a lot about a person by the sweets they enjoy.”

He stopped as they reached the front of the shop in question. She didn’t even realize that’s where he had taken her.

She opened her mouth, probably to say something smart back to him, but he was already opening the door for her like a proper gentleman and ushering her inside from the cold.

She gave him a look that was half a smirk and half a challenge and half a battle of wits when they left.

He just winked back and grabbed her hand, walking with her through the shop. There were other students, more crowded than they both would have liked, but also not as busy as a place such as the Three Broomsticks. There were other couples, walking and poking around the shelves.

“So, what is your favorite sweet?” Talbott asked as they made their way through a natural path of the store. He inspected a box of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavored Beans.

“Not that. Too much risk,” Alexus replied, scrunching her nose at his selection.

“You break curses in your spare time,” he pointed out, almost laughing.

“Ever since Jacob gave me a wasabi flavored bean when I was four, I’ve been rather weary of them.”

He laughed and kept the package. “Then I’m definitely getting this. I’ll give you the good ones.”

“Oh, you’re such a gentleman,” she said, sarcastically before reaching up. He found it incredibly endearing that her fingers barely brushed the bag of liquorice wands, straining to grasp them before she caught the plastic with her fingers, pulling it forward just a centimeter before pulling it closer until she could slide it off the edge slowly and into her palm.

“You could have asked for assistance or a step ladder you know,” he said, trying not to burst out laughing, but there were tears in his eyes from the strain of holding himself back.

“Sod off, Talbott,” she muttered before looking at her parcel. “These are my favorite.” “Liquorice wands?” he asked, glancing at her hands.

“Ever since I was little. My mum…” she stopped and looked at him cautiously.

He caught her look before turning away, trying to make his demeanor as eased and nonchalant as possible. “Continue,” he assured her.

“My mum always bought these when she went to a wizard market. Jacob and I would pretend to duel.”

Talbott laughed lightly. “See? I told you, you can tell a lot about a person based on the sweets they enjoy.”

She rolled her eyes. “What about you? What’s your favorite?”

Talbott hummed and put the peppermint toads he was holding back onto the shelf. He grabbed her empty hand with his own before leading the way to another aisle. He picked up a displayed cardboard box with a saran wrap window, showing off the gelatinous sweets inside.

“Jelly slugs?” Alexus asked incredulously while Talbott beamed, like he was the creator of the confections.

“They’re right and proper when you have a craving for sweets, Alexus,” Talbott said seriously.

“They’re good, but I didn’t think they’d be your favorite sweet,” she shrugged.

“Oh? What did you think would be my favorite?” he asked, added the box to his collection.

She hummed, thinking before letting go of his hand, disappearing behind a shelf before reimaging, walking up to him and shoving a box of ice mice into his hand.

He stared as she pressed her lips together, eyes lit up with something wicked.

“You know,” she said, voice shaking with restrained giggles. “Because… well, birds of prey tend to enjoy mice.” She laughed as he gave her a pained expression.

He grabbed her hand and pulled her with him as he put the box back. They looked at other sweets when they were approached by a wiry and young employee with a tray in his hands.

“Chocolate raspberry fudge?” he asked. “Free samples for Valentine’s couples.”

Talbott looked at Alexus before taking two off the tray, thanking the employee.

“Are you fond of raspberry?” she asked.

“Very, when it’s paired with chocolate,” he replied, handing her a small square of the pink and brown treat.

They ate them together as they finished their shopping and walked to the register, Talbott grabbing two bottles of butterbeer on their way. They paid before they left the shop, still talking about the sort of treats they would enjoy in their childhood.

“Muggle candies, have you ever had those?” Alexus asked.

“I can’t say that I have.”

“You’d love them. If I make it to summer, I’ll be sure to buy a bunch to share with you.”

He looked at her. “If?”

She blinked. “Uh, when,” she corrected herself, “I mean, when I come back from the summer.”

He stopped, his grip in her hand making her stop as well. She turned to him, reluctantly meeting his piercing red eyes.

“Do you not think you’re going to make it past the Final Vault?”

“It’s- it’s not that, Talbott. I just… can’t guarantee it,” she looked down and held his hand tighter. “I have to be realistic.”

He sighed and kissed her head. “That is the path you walk?” he asked.

She nodded and pressed her head against his chest.

He wrapped an arm around her. “Then I’ll walk it with you. I promised you that much, Alexus.”

“You’re… paradoxical,” she muttered before pulling away.

“What do you mean by that?” he asked.

She looked up at him and sighed before pressing a kiss to his cheek.

He admired her, that orange glow illuminating half her face, her emerald eyes shining even brighter as the moonlight casted it’s soft mercury glow onto the other half.

He felt a compelling force that almost pushed him down, if only to… well, he wasn’t sure. He felt some great pull towards her, a desire for something but he didn’t know what. He saw that in her eyes, he saw so much in them. That mysterious and compelling force.

She leaned back, taking her hand into his. “Let’s go back. The long way, yeah?”

He nodded and walked with her back down the street of Hogsmeade.

They didn’t talk. They didn’t need to talk, which was not an infrequent occurrence with them. Sometimes, the only thing they needed to say could be expressed with the silence, the energy that they could feel passing between them.

As they got to Hogwarts, it was around dinner time, so not too close to the curfew, but it was close, so Talbott and Alexus knew they had to be careful about avoiding any teachers or other staff members as they walked past the Great Hall.

Eventually, they walked outside and into the Courtyard. They held hands still as they sat at the base of the fountain.

Alexus took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

He smiled before opening the two bottles of butterbeer, setting one down next to her before he took a swig from his own.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked.

“Nothing, actually,” she replied, opening her eyes and grabbing her bottle. “Just… the sound of the fountain, and the silence of the night, it’s always relaxing, to me. I missed it, while I was in the Hospital Wing.”

“Yeah? You sneak out here often?” he asked, reaching through his bag, pulling out his box of jelly slugs.

“Not as often as you go to the Owlery for the same reasons,” she replied before taking a long drink from her bottle.

He gave a small chuckle and opened the box. He selected a strawberry and lime flavored slug and bit into it, leaning back before looking at Alexus.

He was startled to see her looking at him, that intense look, where the expression holds the million thoughts running through her head faster than light, every single one causing the most minute shift on her face, but at the same time, all those million thoughts were about one subject. Him.

Her eyes, catching the moonlight again fixated on him, one eyebrow raised, the other pressed down in the lightest furrow, a crease in her forehead because of it. Her lips, pursed together, mostly hidden under the hand that she pressed to her mouth, one corner of her lips only just lifted and visible next to her thumb. Anyone else might have seen a soft neutrality, a few thoughts, a contemplating look. He saw that and so much more.

The way something lit up in her eyes when he looked at her, the flush in her cheeks, a centimeter rise in that one corner of her lips. He did that, by looking at her.

He felt that great pull on him again, like there was something inside his chest, in his instincts that was gripping him, trying to move him forward. He wondered if this was what being under the Imperius Curse was like. Something was trying to control him? No. He’d read personal recounts from survivors, about the effects, and this was not that.

But what was this pull?

Alexus slid her hand over his and reached over him, grabbing one of his jelly slugs for herself. She bit the head off and chewed before laying her head on his shoulder.

He moved his arm to wrap it around her lower back and pulled her closer.

“I hope the lack of eventfulness was okay for our first date,” he murmured, pressing his lips to her crown softly for a second.

“With my daily routine? Lack of eventfulness was the best thing you could have planned. Thank you for making me feel ordinary for the night.”

He chuckled. “Somehow, I don’t think you can be ordinary, Alexus. You are… fantastically remarkable.”

“And you are fantastically corny.”

He laughed, turning away from her to hide his little outburst, which made her laugh.

“Corny, but appreciated,” she assured him, gently putting a hand on his chest reassuringly.

He looked down at her, at the laughing grin on her face, and as she was wiping away a tear from her eye, he leaned down, tilting his head.

He kissed her.

So suddenly, he kissed her, soft lips meeting softer lips, eyes closed, her hands sliding across his arms to wrap around his shoulders, his hands moving to cup her face.

As suddenly as he kissed her, he pulled away, taking a couple deep breathes, watching her, eyes wide, mouth agape with a breathless panting. Her cheeks grew warm rapidly under his hands.

“I-I’m sorry… I don’t… uh… I don’t know what came o-”

She cut him off by leaning up and kissing him this time.

It was hard for him to say how long passed before one of them pulled away again.

When they kissed, he discovered in about five seconds that time became lost. The world was lost. Stars twinkled around in the sky above them, water trickled into the pool behind them. Talbott could swear he felt the ground move beneath them. Until it was all lost. There was nothing around them, there was no world, no stars, no water, no ground.

Just her.

Just him.

Just them together, connected in the purest form of a kiss.

When it was over, when they were pulling away from each other, the noise of the world slowly came back. There was that water trickling, soft insects calling in the night. An owl hooted somewhere far away, a wolf howled in the distant forest. Heavy footsteps clacked on the stone floor nearby, and it was coming closer.

Talbott and Alexus looked at each other before at their supplies from Honeydukes.

“Conceal it!” she whispered quickly, whipping out her wand, Talbott following suit. They quickly casted the disillusionment charm over their bags and bottles before pocketing their wands. They nodded to each other before assuming their animagus forms, Talbott as a brown eagle, Alexus was a chihuahuan raven. They flew up, right to the end of the courtyard as some… unknown person walked into the courtyard.

Alexus watched, ready to fly away at the first sign of trouble. Whenever dark-hooded figures with most of their faces obscured walked in her general area, it was never good, and they always seemed to be for her.

Talbott let out of call, a warning one.

Alexus looked at him, where he was perched on a ledge that overlooked the courtyard.

Alexus got ready to fly away, waiting for when the stranger would least likely be bothered by two non-nocturnal birds. She watched as the wizard stalked around the courtyard, poking stone with his wand.

As his back was turned, Alexus called out to Talbott, and they both spread their wings to take off. This was something they had to report, and fast.

They flew up, Alexus aiming for the sky to disappear into when there was a terrible, fiery pain in her right wing. She cried out, the vocalization coming out as a pained caw.

The wind was rushing through her feathers from her rapid descent.

She landed on her side, curling her arm into herself, black feathers swaying onto the ground around her.

“Alexus Johnson, small raven. Right there in the registry where any one can read it,” the wizard said, making his way over to her.

Alexus groaned, slowly sitting up, her wand in her grip, but she couldn’t lift her arm, it hurt too much to bend it. Her cardigan and shirt sleeves had already been burned or blasted off.

“It’s a chihuahuan raven, actually,” she corrected the wizard as he pointed it wand at her. “The base of the neck has a white coloration, native more to the Mexico and western United States area.”

The wizard didn’t say anything as he stood over Alexus.

Alexus smiled and set her wand down. “I’m not coming quietly. In fact, I’m not coming with you at all,” she assured him as she slowly rose to her feet, eyes trained on his wand.

“You know what ‘R’ wants, so you might as well make it easy now. Before we make you abide by our ideals.”

Alexus laughed lightly. “No.”

There was a screech and Talbott descended, talons extended, right towards the dark wizard’s face.

While he was distracted, Alexus stooped down to grab her wand with her left arm.

“Get away!” she shouted to Talbott.

He flew off, and Alexus sent a powerful blasting spell at the dark wizard, sending him flying back across the courtyard, landing in the fountain.

Talbott landed next to Alexus, turning back into human as he did. He pulled out his wand and kept it trained on the wizard.

“Do we run?” he asked.

“No, he’ll slip away.” Alexus walked to the wizard, ready to attack if he moved. “You go get a teacher, Dumbledore, Filch, anyone. We can’t let him get back to ‘R’ when he knows.”

Talbott didn’t want to leave Alexus alone, but he knew she could handle the wizard better than he could. But he still hesitated, looking at her.

“Talbott, go!” she insisted as the dark wizard started to stir.

She wanted to watch him leave as he ran into the castle, but she was too terrified to take her eyes off of the dark wizard.

“So… ‘R’ must be getting more desperate, if they’re just sending any idiot to try and retrieve me,” she commented as the wizard slowly sat up from the water.

“What can we say? Your work with the Vaults continues to be impressive.”

“I believe I have given you my answer already. Incarcerous!” Ropes sprang from the tip of her wand and coiled tightly around the torso of the dark wizard, binding his arms to his sides.

She walked over and grabbed his discarded wand, kicking it further across the courtyard.

“You gave us the wrong answer,” the wizard said, nonchalantly.

“Ferula,” Alexus muttered, pointing her wand at her burn. Bandages delicately wrapped around the injury. She’d find Chiara for a more permanent solution.

“It is cute that you think ‘R’ is giving you a choice.”

“Stupif-!”

“PROTEGO!” Alexus shouted, twirling on her heel, slashing her wand up, throwing up a quick shield to counter the second assailant’s attempt to stun her as they came up from behind. The force of her opponent’s spell on her shield made her slide back a few inches.

“You didn’t think I’d come alone to collect such a… volatile target?” the man asked, inching his way out of the fountain as Alexus faced the new dark wizard.

“I was certainly hoping, but I guess no one wants to be alone today,” she muttered, planting her foot behind her. “Expelliarmus!”

The wizard dodged and sent his own spell back to her, causing her to jump to the side.

“Locomotor Mortis!”

Alexus tripped as her legs were bound together. She swore under her breath and gripped her wand as the wizard advanced upon her.

“Flipendo Maxima!” she shouted, trying to buy herself more time, but he blocked that too.

“Stupify!”

All Alexus saw was red sparks and then stars. Lights and shadows swimming in the darkness of her vision. She groaned and turned on her side, towards the fountain. Vision was slowly coming back to her, her surroundings blurred.

Semi-conscious…. Semi-conscious was better than unconscious, which could have been the outcome with the stunning spell.

She saw the two dark wizards at the fountain as blurred figures, coming in and out of focus. “She really got you, didn’t she?” the second assailant asked as he undid the ropes on his companion.

“She had a bird friend, another animagus. Little bastard got my face, went to get help.”

She looked at her hand, extended, laying on the ground.

Her wand…

She had a wand.

“We better get out of here quickly.”

She moved her fingers, brushing along the stone. It must have been knocked out of her grip. Then, she felt it. That familiar wood, the warmth in her fingertips as she found her wand. She gripped it firmly and looked back at the two. The second one was helping the first wizard up out of the fountain. She pointed her wand at the ground by them. “Bombarda!”

The second wizard jumped back as there was a small explosion at his feet, the first wizard falling back into the fountain.

She sat up as the second dark wizard whirled around to face her.

“Everte Statum!”

“Lacarnum Inflamari!”

His robes caught on fire as she was sent rolling back across the courtyard, stopping when her body collided with the far wall, a sharp pain in her torso where the spell hit her.

“PUT IT OUT!” the wizard shouted, stomping on his dark cloak rapidly.

“My wand!” the other one shouted, jumping out of the fountain and looking at the dark ground.

If Alexus wasn’t reeling, she’d be laughing, but as the pain was subsiding, she slowly climbed to her feet as the wizard just shrugged off his robe, revealing his face.

He was a gruff-looking figure, with patchy black and white facial hair on his jaw, his head shaved, a massive scar on his scalp. His dark eyes pierced Alexus as he raised his wand.

Where was Talbott? Should it have taken him this long to get help? Was he on his way with Dumbledore and all she had to do was stall?

“I told your friend, I wasn’t going to come quietly,” she said, raising her wand as well

“And I told your friend, I’m willing to take you in bloody if that’s what it takes.” He shot a spell at her, and she jumped to the side before firing her own at him.

“What did you do to him?” she asked, trying to keep her voice bold and even.

“Just gave him a full-body bind so he wouldn’t have to get any pesky teachers involved. Someone will find him, but you’ll be gone by then.”

Alexus set her jaw. Talbott would be terrified. She couldn’t let him be any more scared than he already was with her in her danger. But more importantly, they got to Talbott. They hurt him. She couldn’t let that slide either.

If Talbott was in that courtyard in that second, only he would have seen the darkness in her eyes, like a thunderstorm overtaking clear, green, rolling fields. A brewing and dangerous storm that made it seem like the sky was about to explode, Heaven’s fury being unleashed like Hell’s wrath.

Alexus focused her wand on the men in front of her as the wizard finally found his wand and joined his partner.

The air became still for a second as the intensity of the silent rage culminated in her chest.

“Incendio!” she shouted, waving her wand in arch before herself, sending a wall of flames to the men in front of her.

They only had time to wave the flames away in one swoop before she thrusted her wand forward, at their feet.

“Confringo!”

The bald wizard threw his arms in front of his face while his friend jumped back as shards of stone flew up in all directions from their feet.

She sent furious spell after furious spell, making them dodge and jump out of the way to avoid serious injury. Now that there was no backup, she had to win.

“Expelliarmus!” she disarmed the bald wizard, his wand flying behind him.

He looked at the discarded wand behind him before back at her. “Who knew you had such a weakness, Miss Johnson? Don’t worry, weaknesses aren’t allowed in ‘R’ so that will be fixed soon enough.”

She froze, only for a second, but that was enough for the other wizard.

“Diffindo!”

The air stilled again.

Alexus pressed her hand against her stomach, shuddering as she felt something arm and stick saturating her clothes and hand. Gulping, she pulled it away and held it up in front of her face, even if she already knew. In the moonlight, she saw the dark stain on her hands.

Before she could do another thing, before she could even think about healing herself, the first wizard snapped his wand at her.

“Petrificus Totalus!”

Eyes widened, mouth slightly agape, wand outstretched, bloody hand near her chest, she became frozen.

The first wizard rushed forward as the second one went to retrieve his wand.

“There we go,” the first one muttered as he moved his wand over her injuries, healing her slowly.

“Don’t need to kill ya, just needed you stunned enough.”

Alexus moved her eyes, watching him as the wound disappeared, like it was never there. He patted her head when he finished. She would have broken his hand if he could move.

“Ready to go?” he called back to the bald wizard as he picked up his wand.

“Take her wand from her first. I’ll bind her, you unfreeze her.”

The first wizard snatched her wand from her hands and took a few steps back.

Alexus watched the bald wizard and he raised his wand at her. “On three.”

“One… Two…”

“THREE!” Alexus looked past them just in time to see the red sparks before the first wizard was sent flying forward, skidding at her feet.

The bald wizard turned around only to be knocked back the same distance, his back colliding onto the wall behind her.

“Excellent knockback, Mr. Winger!” Professor Flitwick complimented, pocketing his wand after knocking the second assailant.

Alexus had never been more relieved to see her head of house and the Headmaster before, but it was Talbott’s presence who reassured her the most. He was okay.

He gave no acknowledgement, instead, running over to Alexus.

He cupped her face lightly and looked down at her. “Are you hurt? Are you okay?” he asked.

She wanted desperately to collapse into his arms. For him to hold her as she felt her legs could no longer support her. But she couldn’t. She could just control her eyes and even then, she couldn’t stop the heavy streams of tears that spilled, cascading down her cheeks, catching on his hands.

“Mr. Winger, I believe she is petrified at the moment,” Professor Dumbledore stepped forward. “Allow me.”

With a wave of his wand, Alexus stumbled forward, right into Talbott’s waiting arms.

She closed her eyes and stifled a sob in his chest, wrapping her arms around his torso and hiding her face into his chest.

“Are you okay?” he asked again, softly, cupping the back of her head with his hand, holding her close to him.

“Miss Johnson, are you hurt?” Professor Dumbledore asked.

Alexus pulled away and took a breath, quickly collecting herself. “My arm, it got burned.” She extended it to show the bandages she had placed on her arm.

“I see. Mr. Winger, will you please escort Miss Johnson to the Hospital Wing to be treated while we take care of the mess here?” Dumbledore requested.

“Yes, Professor. We’ll go straight away.”

Talbott gently placed his hand on her back and they began walking, but hadn’t taken more than two steps when Professor Flitwick cleared his throat.

“Miss Johnson?” he called, prompting them to look back.

“Yes, Professor?” she asked hesitantly.

“Your wand, don’t forget it please!” he held up her wand, which he retrieved from the first wizard.

“Oh! Right, thank you, professor,” she said while walking over. She took it and nodded in thanks before walking back to Talbott. They finally left the courtyard, silently.

He kept his hand on her back, reluctant to not feel her with him, but she didn’t mind. She stayed close to him as they walked.

When they went into the Hospital Wing, it was filled with mostly petrified students. But there was also Chiara Lobosca, attending to a girl who looked sickly with a very runny nose.

“Just take this potion before bed and your cold will go away by the end of the night. Be mindful of smoke in the ears,” the Hufflepuff was advising the girl as they approached.

“Chiara,” Alexus said, softly.

She turned around, a pleasant expression on her face, but when she saw Alexus, the bandages, the blood, her eyes turned as big as the moon.

“Alexus!” she almost cried, quickly walking in front of her.

“The slice was healed, I’m not bleeding anymore, but I am faint from the loss of blood I did experience, but the most severe injury is my arm, it’s burnt under the bandages I applied. I was in a duel. Don’t tell the Circle yet.”

Chiara blinked, processing, before nodding and she quickly guided Alexus to an empty bed.

“Are you okay?” she asked, gently extending Alexus’s arm out and unwrapping the bandages.

“Barely. Talbott got Dumbledore and Flitwick just in time,” Alexus winced at the movement.

“Thank you, Talbott,” Chiara said, looking at him before back at Alexus.

She looked at the burn before back at Talbott. “There are bandages in that cabinet. Can you please get them for me?”

He nodded and walked over to the cabinet while Chiara gently traced her wand on Alexus’s wound.

Alexus flinched and wanted to yank her arm away, but the skin slowly started to mend.

She bit her lip and turned her head away from the healer and tried to suppress any cry or outburst.

“There we go, you did good,” Chiara assured her before pocketing her wand again.

Talbott came back with the bandages.

Chiara took them and began dressing the wound, slowly wrapping the bandages loosely over the area.

“It will take a few days to heal fully, but there shouldn’t be any scarring as long as you leave it alone.”

“Thank you, Chiara,” Alexus said. She gently moved her arm back and looked at the bandages.

“Remember, if you want to talk about it, I’ll always listen,” she reminded.

Alexus looked at Chiara, incredibly touched. “You’re too kind,” she said, smiling softly. “I’m good for now. I think now is a good time to call in the night.”

“Goodnight, then, you two. Hope your next date is safer!”

Talbott walked into a hospital bed and slammed his leg into the railing while Alexus nearly fell off her bed.

“Who told you?” they both asked, almost shouting, making the healer jump back.

“Penny! Penny told me before she went to help you get ready!” she quickly said.

Alexus groaned and buried her face into her hands. “Hasn’t she ever heard of stylist-client confidentiality?” she cried.

“Oh no,” Talbott muttered under his breath, remembering Andre.

“Well, you two better get going! Let me know if there’s anything else I can do to help!” Chiara quickly and pleasantly excused herself before walking to another student across the Wing from them.

Talbott looked at Alexus, resigned.

Without a word between them, they both walked out of the Hospital Wing.

The second they closed the doors behind them, they looked at each other.

Alexus gave him a weak smile. “Thank you. You… definitely saved my life.”

“I’m sorry that your cardigan got ruined.”

Alexus snorted and looked at the burnt off sleeve that now ended at her bicep. “I can remedy it… I think.”

Now he snorted. He looked down the hall and sighed. “Let’s head to the Common Room, before Snape or someone deducts house points for being attacked after hours.”

She laughed and grabbed his arm gently before leading the way.

“Hopefully, our sweets are still there by the morning, we can get them then,” Talbott said.

“They were still invisible by the time we left, so they might be,” Alexus agreed hopefully.

“I’m sorry this… didn’t end up how I wanted it to,” he looked down at her.

“You don’t have to apologize, Talbott,” she assured him. “It was magical. I had a really great time.”

“I’m glad.” He glanced at her and took a breath. “The… kissing… was that okay? I should have asked, and-”

“I wouldn’t have kissed you back if it wasn’t,” she assured him. “You don’t have to worry, you gave me an amazing night. I was ordinary for a couple hours. That’s the best thing you could give me.”

He gently nudged her side with his arm. “I told you before, you’re incapable of being ordinary. You’re… the most… remarkable girl I’ve met.”

She smiled. “You make me feel remarkable, Talbott. I’m really just doing things that need to be done. And sometimes, doing those things…”

“Lead you down a hard path?” Talbott completed for her.

“Yes. You’re the one I want to walk with me. I know that now. I realized that when I was dueling, oddly enough.” She looked forward.

“Oh?” he said, not pressing her to continue, but he still wanted her to say more.

“It’s… that dark wizard, he told me he petrified you. I… lost it. I was scared. You could have been hurt, I couldn’t just… let them get away with that.”

He looked at her, not sure of what to say. He was stunned, but unharmed. Dumbledore and Flitwick had stumbled upon him in the hall. All he could say was that Alexus was in danger before running off. He was terrified for her. He thought she was going to die and it would have been his fault for not being better. That he could have done more. Just like with his parents.

He just brought her hand to his lips and kissed it gently before they continued walking.

The common room was almost empty, students tired from a night of festivities, winding down, talking to one another about their dates and otherwise.

“Hey,” he tugged on her hand before pulling her to a nearby bench, gesturing to sit down. “Before you go up to your dorm, I had… one more thing planned.”

She tilted her head, looking at him quizzically.

He gave a small smile before pulling a small box out of his pocket. He held it out to her.

She took it and gave him a small smile before opening it. Her eyes widened when she saw the contents.

“Talbott,” she said softly before grabbing the silver braided chain and pulling the necklace out.

There was a single charm, a brown eagle feather.

“From my own wing,” he muttered.

She looked at him before kissing his cheek. “I love it,” she whispered before quickly fastening it around her own neck.

“I’m glad,” he said, relieved.

She admired the feather before looking at him apologetically. “I didn’t… get you anything, but… I was thinking… I could maybe… read a poem to you?”

He pulled out a small booklet from his other jacket pocket. “I’ve been waiting all night to open this.”

She snatched it from him. “Reyes’s Handpicked Poems!” she exclaimed.

“I may have already marked a couple,” he said, a little slyly, a self-satisfied smile crossing his face as she eagerly thumbed through the collection. “It’s not as hefty as The Romantic Collection we fight over, but there’s something charming about knowing these are the author’s favorites.”

She stopped on a page and quickly skimmed it. “Found one,” she muttered before leaning against him. He quickly wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on her head, closing his eyes

Come see me, Eros Where the woodland sings of their secret songs of the evergreen

Come see me, Eros In the break of the trees Where Apollo touches the land where lovers meet

Come see me, Eros In this forestry dream Surrounded by nymphs and Demeter’s love

Come save me, Eros Follow me down Where Hades’ lips kiss away the light

Come save me, Eros From Thanatos’ grip that’s keeping me away from you

Talbott sighed. “That’s a sad one,” he muttered.

“It’s heavily symbolic, which just adds weight,” she agreed.

“Death of the Lover… what a perfect poem to end Valentine’s Day on,” he muttered sarcastically.

She closed the book and looked at him. He waited for her sarcastic rebuttal, but instead, she kissed him.

He was shocked, but he wasn’t going to complain, and instead, placed his hand on her cheek, closing his eyes.

“Oh dammit all to Hell, they’re kissing!”

They pulled away quickly and turned to see Tulip Karasu fuming. Alexus didn’t like the look in her eyes before the mischievous Ravenclaw ran to their dorm room. “BADEEA! TELL TONKS PENNY WON! I’M OUT FIVE SICKLES!”

“Oh… Merlin’s saggy left…” Alexus grumbled before burying her face into her hands while Talbott sighed.

There were better, more romantic notes to end their first Valentine’s date on, but this was not one of them, it seems.

[tacitwhisky]

Feeling the blues now Game of Thrones has wrapped as a series? Don’t worry, I’ve got your jonsa recovery fic list right here. This is by no means a comprehensive list of all the great fic out there, just the best of the best I’ve read. If there are any other fic you think should be on this list that I missed reblog and tag them.

Season 8 Fix Its (Pt 1 / Pt 2)

In Love and Death We Don’t Decide [Link] | @pardonmymannerssir | Her siblings arrive like leaves carried on a sudden breeze, alighting upon the placidity of her life and casting wide ripples before being swept away again. Their movements are cyclic, changing and shifting like the seasons, but one thing will never change: Winterfell is home.

Come out of hiding (i'm right here beside you) [Link] | @noqueenbutthequeeninthenorth​ | After the death of Daenerys Targaryen, Jon Snow goes to live beyond the Wall, while Sansa Stark, the newly-named Queen in the North, marries a Dornish prince. Three years later, when Jon finally gathers the courage to return to Winterfell, he finds that while many things have changed, one hasn't: he's still in love with Sansa.

We are buried in broken dreams [Link] | @snowsinthenorth​ | Prompt: Sansa and Jon sleeping together before he goes to Dragonstone and when he comes back he finds out she is pregnant. A full on s8 fix-it fic at this point.

Essential Reading

The Cold Inside Our Bones [Link] | @xylodemon | 1,904 | The Wall is no place for a woman, but Jon looks at Sansa's gaunt cheeks and hollow eyes and knows he will not send her away.

At a Funeral [Link] | @justadram | 5,231 | There's something about the funeral that makes Sansa need Jon more than ever. Too bad she threw it all away.

What a Disappointment [Link] | @justadram | 7,836 | Sansa Stark and Jon Targaryen are married and neither of them is pleased about it. Set in a world where Rhaegar lives and Jon was raised in King's Landing as a legitimized bastard.

Tree of Hearts [Link] | @uchihabat​ | 7,239 | It was a secret, shameful thing. The more he denied it, the more unruly it had become within him: a sleeping dragon, around which he tread carefully. There was nothing good about his half-sister, he told himself, but her beauty. "I am not beautiful anymore," she told him through teeth clenched. "It is ugly inside my heart. I am ruined."

Subject: La Bamba [Link] | @ghost-of-bambi | 16,441 | Trust Margaery Tyrell to turn Sansa Stark's 21st birthday party into an exercise in matchmaking.

More fics under the cut.

Canon Divergent

From the fire we rise [Link] | TheEagleGirl | 2,367 | In another world, perhaps Jon would have been the heir to the throne. In this world, his father died on the trident, his mother in childbirth, no witnesses to their union. In this world, Jon is just the bastard prince, and in this world he still wants more.

Brine on the Tongue [Link] | @orangeflavoryawp​ | They pause, afternoon light shifting in through her window like an accusation – a slant of clarity against their panting forms. “Then leave.” (He doesn’t.) - Jon and Sansa. What breeds in a house of wolves.

Found In Forbidden Nights [Link] | @alienor-woods | 16,777 | In which Robb Stark still refuses to trade Jaime Lannister for his sisters, but Jon Snow decides if being an oathbreaker means he can tell strategy and politics to fuck off, then it's worth it to take matters into his own hands.

Jon of the Kingsguard [Link] | @tacitwhisky | Jon goes to Kingslanding instead of the Wall, there’s no war, and he becomes a knight of the kingsguard even as Joffrey marries Sansa. As Joffrey’s true colors inevitably show Jon is forced to choose between the vows of a knight and the duty of a Stark.

Southern Wolves [Link] | @tacitwhisky | Jon leaves the Wall to save Sansa from Joffrey. Together they wander the war ravaged Riverlands to try and return home.

Missing Scenes

A Cartography of Vulnerability [Link] | @subjunctivemood​ | 1,720 | Jon is the only one Sansa trusts to do this for her.

Stitch Up All Your Hopes [Link] | @subjunctivemood | Sansa is sick, but she refuses to rest.

'Cause I know that it's delicate [Part1 / Part2] | @noqueenbutthequeeninthenorth | 4,865 | Set during "Book of the Stranger," immediately after Sansa arrives at the Wall. Jon goes to build the fire back up, and for a few minutes he stays silent, kneeling at the hearth, not looking at her. Finally he clears his throat. “I know,” he begins, “it’s not exactly what you’re used to.”

We can brave the dark [Link] | @thatgirlnevershutsup | 2,320 | When Arya dares Sansa to spend the night in the crypts, it’s Jon who comes to her rescue.

Modern AU - Short

Caught [Link] | @jonnsansa | 4,055 | The first time they sleep together, she's on a break from Joffrey and they're both a little drunk.

Like real people do [Link] | @thatgirlnevershutsup | 2,749 | For the Twelve Days of Christmas project, have an AU Sansa Stark and Jon Snow doing one of those “first kiss” videos.

Beans [Part1 / Part2 / Part3] | @justadram​ | Jon and Sansa never seem to be on the same page about their relationship.

Never knew I had it all [Link] | TheEagleGirl | 3,130 | Sansa feels bewitched. She’s never noticed Jon before last month. He was Robb’s silent shadow, outshined by Robb himself, or his friends Theon and Dacey.

Trust & Control [Link] | @jonnsansa | 4,444 | Sansa first sees him at the Tyrell fundraising gala. In a sea of drunk, happy people, he is the singular solemn one, standing as still as a statue against the far wall with a glass of untouched champagne in hand. Or: the 50 Shades AU no one asked for.

Baby, It’s Cold Outside [Link] | Tate | It starts at one of Robb's Christmas parties, with Harry Hardyng and a kiss Sansa's avoiding. The two that follow are another story altogether.

Modern AU - Long

Happiness throws a shower of sparks [Link] | @pardonmymannerssir​ | 14,115 | “I didn’t have anywhere else to go,” Sansa Stark says through a swollen, bloody lip, a pair of sunglasses perched on her nose that don’t completely hide a black eye.

Battlefield [Link] | @uchihabat | 17,264 | “God, we might as well just start a family together,” she blusters, half-joking but of course not joking at all. “We both want kids and we both don’t care how. We’re both single. We’ve known each other all our lives. It’s like a movie.”

I'm Feeling Younger, Every Time That I'm Alone With You [Link] | Tate | 19,872 | Jon's got a crush on Sansa, Sansa's got no idea; it's kind of about a production of "Florian and Jonquil" but it's also just kind of about Jon and Sansa.

Tipsy in a Red Push Up Bra [Link] | @tacitwhisky | 21,320 | Of course the first time Sansa Stark sees Jon Snow in God knows how long, the first time since they lost the house and she’d come to live with her aunt Lysa, it would have to be at a house party where she’s already tipsy on schnapps. And of course it would have to be the one time she’s wearing the ridiculous red push up bra Margaery talked her into buying.

Alternate Universe - Crossover AUs

The Seasons of My Love [Link] | @noqueenbutthequeeninthenorth | 48,275 | Months after Ned and Robb are murdered, Sansa returns to Hogwarts for her final year of school. Far from home, she finds she must rely on family friend Jon Snow, now an Auror, to help keep her family together -- and perhaps to help solve the mystery of her father and brother's deaths.

Put a spell on me [Link] | TheEagleGirl | 2,346 | Somewhere along the line, this became less about release and more about him. Or, a Hogwarts au with lots of making out, saving the world from the Dark Lord, and feelings

Saskatoon Berry Pie [Link] | @justadram | 23,179 | When Sansa loses her family in a rail accident, she makes her way to Saskatchewan in search of sanctuary with her cousin, Jon Snow.

As Long As We're Going Down [Link] | @alienor-woods | 37,096 | Four years after Stannis Baratheon wins the Battle of the Blackwater, Sansa Stark finds herself summoned back to King's Landing to serve as a bridesmaid at Crown Princess Shireen's wedding. When King Stannis tries to marry Sansa off to his illegitimate nephew, Edric, she thinks quick and tells him she's already married-- to her bodyguard, Jon Snow.

Post Series

With the Wild Wolves Around You [Link] | @redbelles | 3,782 | Jon finds Sansa at the Vale after his Targaryen lineage is revealed.

And the Geese Are Headed North Again [Link] | @yekoc | 13,316 | In the dark and honest part of her that Sansa is no longer afraid of, she had thought that Jon would die, and she was no sadder than she was relieved. Seeing him now, she notes the absence of the relief and joy that marked her first glimpse of him at Castle Black. Instead, she feels a too-familiar grief: my brother is gone.

The world is still round, my compass is true; each step is a step back to you [Part1 / Part2] | @dialux | 3,655 | Endgame fic, where Jon goes south and he returns to Sansa only after the Long Night. Trust isn’t easily built after all that’s happened, but Jon and Sansa manage it well enough.

Jonsa Fic Lists:

Season 6 Fics  |  Season 8 Fix-It Fics (Pt 1 / Pt 2)  |  Jon in the South AUs  |  Kink Fics  |  Flash Fics  |  Bastard Sansa  | Crossover AUs  |  Married  |  Jon/Val

Follow me @tacitwhisky for jonsa fic recs, meta, and fanfic. I swear I’m good at at least two of those.

[captainscanadian]

Better | Bucky Barnes x Reader (Part 3)

My Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2

Summary: As Wanda convinced Bucky to leave your bedside for the night, Becca Barnes arrives in Brooklyn to let him know of the findings of her investigation. While Bucky thinks that no harm would come your way during his absence, he would not know how wrong he had been about that. But one thing is clear, Bucky fell in love with you one wintry night in Brooklyn after he learned that you were indeed a much better doctor and a much better human being than he could ever be.

Word Count: 6083

Pairing: Doctor!Bucky x Doctor!Reader, Doctor!Bucky x Platonic!Nurse!Wanda, Nurse!MJ

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of Abuse & Alcoholism, Surgery, Organ Donation, IV & Needles, Emotional Distress, Physical Pain, Drugs, Hospital Stay, Homelessness, Mentions of Death & Cancer

A/N: It may have taken my about two months to write this part but I do apologize for my lack of inspiration that was caused a major life change (of me moving to the UK). I am so excited to continue this fic because I just love Doctor!Bucky with my whole heart. I would like to thank @dramadreamer14 and @thedarklightwithinus for providing me with some genuine feedback for this fic. They really kept me going! On that note, here’s an extra long chapter to make up for the wait time. I hope you enjoy reading this and feedback is always welcome! :)

Perhaps it was impossible to get Dr. James Barnes to leave the hospital for the night. Hell, he was not even planning on leaving your bedside for more than a few minutes if he had to. But as the sun had finally set and visiting hours were over, Wanda Maximoff had woken up from her post-night shift nap to dial the nurses’ desk at the post-op ward. She had a gut feeling that Bucky would still be there, for she knew that man well enough to know how much he loved you.

Michelle Jones, the trainee nurse who had replaced her at the desk since that morning, answered the phone in an instant. “Good evening, you’ve reached Brooklyn Hospital Post-Op. How may I help you?” She recited in her best customer service voice that seemed way too polite for her own liking.

“Hey MJ, it’s Wanda.” She responded as she rubbed at her eyes, ridding of the last bit of slumber that remained within her eyes before she let out a yawn. “Is he still there?”

“Does it snow in New York in December?” The younger nurse retorted with a chuckle, pulling up the moleskin journal that she had been keeping. After Wanda had instructed her to keep an eye on your hospital room, Michelle had managed to write down every single instance that Bucky had left your bedside. “He took a bathroom break every one or two hours and when Peter- I mean, when Dr. Parker went to check her vitals around 2 pm, Dr. Barnes promised to let him scrub in with him on his next surgery if he brings him lunch. Dr. Parker brought him a sandwich from the cafeteria, and then a vanilla bean latte from the coffee cart across the street at around 4 pm. He had his last bathroom break a few minutes ago but he’s still there.”

“And Y/N?” Wanda asked as she bit her lip, completely unsurprised by the fact that the lover boy was still at your bedside. She made a mental note to give him a stern talking to and make sure that he left the hospital for the night. As much as she adored that he was putting himself out there to care for you; she believed that you needed someone like him in your life too, but she could not help but worry about him just as much.

MJ set aside her moleskin before pulling up your file on the computer. “Well, her PCA log shows that she’s been pumping pain meds every few hours, as she should be doing for the amount of pain that she must be going through on her first day in post-op. Nothing unusual there. She was knocked out when I went to change her IV and drainage tubes and I don’t think she would be waking up for another few hours or so. I had to kick him out of the room for a few minutes but he didn’t mind. He had no problem letting me do my job but he’s still sitting there.” MJ replied with a shrug, turning her head towards the hallway once she heard footsteps approaching her. Noticing that Bucky had stepped out of the room and was walking swiftly towards the desk, she quickly turned away to avoid his eye contact. “Wanda, he’s coming towards the desk right now.”

“MJ, please give him the phone.” The older nurse demanded. “I’m going to talk some sense into his head so if he tries to get out of my lecture by giving you back the phone, don’t you dare let him do that. Visiting hours were over hours ago so if he doesn’t leave after I hang up on him, just let him say goodbye to her and make sure he actually leaves the hospital and doesn’t crash in an on call room. He might even try to go down to the pit and get himself a patient, just so that he doesn’t have to leave the hospital. Don’t you dare let him do any of that! Call security to drag him out if you have to, because I wouldn’t trust him if I were you.”

“Michelle, can I ask you-”

She held her finger up for at him for a moment, listening intently to what Wanda had just told her. “Yes, ma’am...” She turned over to Bucky with a toothy grin. “Phone call for you, Dr. Barnes!”

Bucky gave her a confused look for a moment as she handed him the phone. “Hello?” He said, casually, as he brought his phone up to his ear.

“Bucky, you’ve been sitting there for more than twelve hours!” Wanda yelled at him through the phone, startling him slightly. “Get the fuck out of there! Go home, visiting hours were over ages ago.”

The dark haired doctor gave the other nurse a look of disbelief, shaking his head at her as she pulled out her cell phone to make another call. “Wanda, visiting hours don’t apply to me. I work here.”

“You went over your weekly limit yesterday, you dipshit. You shouldn’t even be back at the hospital until the day after tomorrow.” She reminded him. “What are you even doing there? She’s knocked out on pain meds. Just stop sitting in her room like a fucking creep and get your ass back to your apartment, Barnes. You haven’t been there in days.”

“Don’t talk to me like that.”

“Why? What are you going to do about it? Fire me? If I tell Chief Stark that you’ve been a fucking nuisance around the hospital, I’ll make sure he’s the one firing your dumbass!”

“Wanda...” Bucky let out a groan at her threats, not even sure if she actually meant them. As much as he loved her like a fourth younger sister, he knew that Wanda could be a bitch when she wanted to be. A part of him was hesitant about pissing her off even more. He could not risk it. “I can’t just leave Y/N here like this. She’s all alone. She has no family to watch her and... I’m not doing anyone any harm by being here.”

“Every single doctor, nurse, lab tech and orderly working in that hospital is her damn family, Bucky!” She reminded him with a sigh. “We’re all her family and we’re all keeping an eye on her. You’re being hard on yourself, Bucky. I know you care about her and you want to be there for her right now. But you should also take care of yourself too. You haven’t been home in days. Just go home for the night, sleep in your own bed for once. Take tomorrow off for yourself. She’ll be right where you left her when you come back.”

He let out a sigh as she contemplated her words. “But Wanda, what if something happens to her while I’m gone?”

“Bucky, are you out of your mind? You’re a fucking surgeon, come on, get it together. You know how liver transplants work. She didn’t suffer any complications during surgery. Nothing’s going to happen to her. She’s just going to be in pain for a few days so she’ll be knocked out on drugs until then. She’ll be back to her cheery self by the time you get back to work and Romanoff will discharge her by the end of next week.” She explained, wondering if you had made any arrangements for how you were going to spend the next eight weeks in bed rest. After all, Wanda knew that you lived alone. There was no way you could get through the days of recovery on your own. She made a mental note to ask you about it when she returns to work in the morning. Though knowing you, she was also contemplating on calling a family meeting with everyone else to come up with a solution for that. Asking you about it or offering to help take care of you would not cut it. She knew that you would refuse the help either way. If she had just went ahead and made the arrangements herself though and let Steve deliver the message to you, she knew you wouldn’t say no to the offer. You would never say no to Steve.  

Wanda was right and Bucky knew that. But his heart refused to accept it. He did not want to leave you when you were all alone and in pain. Nevertheless, he gave in, only because he trusted the rest of the hospital staff to keep an eye on you during his absence. “Fine, I’ll go home. I’m sure everyone here would make sure she’s still in one piece by the time I get back.” Boy, if he only knew how wrong he was about that.

“Good. Now, you better not be at the hospital when I get to work in the morning and you better not show up until my eighteen hour shift is over. Are we clear about that, Dr. Barnes?” Wanda asked him with a chuckle.

Bucky laughed softly. “Noted, Maximoff. And before I forget, Y/N told me that she asked you to check on the status of her father. Can you let her know what’s up with him when you see her tomorrow?”

“Okay, I will.” She told him as she bit her lip at the thought of your father. Though she did not know the man personally and was certainly in a place where she should not be judging him, she could not help it. Boy, did she loathe that man for drinking away his health, driving away his own daughter and showing up at this hospital to make you pay for his mistakes. Having lost her own parents when she was eleven years of age and having lost her twin brother at sixteen, she felt empathetic towards the way your parents had been treating you despite your sacrifice. She could not believe how much you cared to ask about the man who could not care any less about you. But she knew that it meant you were a much better person than the people who had raised you. “Now I told MJ to call security. So once you hang up the phone, if you can go and kiss your Sleeping Beauty goodnight and then go straight to your car that would be highly appreciated.”

He turned around to give MJ another look of disbelief before seeing Thor, one of the security guards at the hospital, standing next to her and giving him the same toothy grin as the nurse. “Damn you, Wanda!” Bucky let out another chuckle as he hung up the phone and turned back to MJ. “Take care of her, yeah?”

Michelle gave him a nod. “Don’t worry, Dr. Barnes. She’s one of us. We’re definitely not going to let her pull one on us.” She gave him a reassuring smile.

Bucky gave her a nod before he turned over to look at Thor. “God, I can’t believe you’re-”

“Move it, Dr. Barnes.” The security guard cut him off, motioning him to walk back to your room as he gave him a playful glare. “Wanda’s orders.”

The love struck surgeon laughed softly as he shook his head, turning around and walking back to your hospital room with the beefy blonde male following right behind him. Bucky entered the room while Thor stood by the door, knowing that he should give the doctor some privacy. After all, not even the security guards and the rest of the hospital staff were immune to the gossips around the hospital.

Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that they were all quite fond of you. Despite the fact that you were a surgeon, which had naturally given you a higher rank within the social hierarchy of the hospital, you were known to be extremely polite towards the nurses, orderlies, lab technicians, the catering staff and the cleaning staff alike. Most of the surgeons, your own friends included, possessed a certain arrogance that came with being a surgeon. But you had managed to overcome that arrogance rather quickly, thanks to your very humble beginnings. Even the staff had been concerned about your health following your surgery. But the moment news broke out that ‘Dr. Long Hair, Don’t Care’ had found himself sitting by your bedside for the whole day, it seemed that they were also eager to know if he would finally confess his feelings to you by the time you recovered and returned to work. Their bets had been placed but all they could do was wait and watch.

It seemed as though you were the only one who had been unaware of Bucky’s feelings for you, but you had a reason for that. Your years of longing to be loved by someone had only resulted in multiple rejections, causing you to eventually give up on pursuing any kind of relationship at all. For some reason, you had become accustomed to turning a blind eye to anyone’s romantic advances towards you. Perhaps that was why even Bucky had been hesitant to ask you out over the years. You had told him early on in your friendship of how the only reason you had moved to Brooklyn was because you wanted to train under Steve and build yourself a career. You weren’t looking for love, you had told him, even though that had been a lie. You had just believed that you did not deserve to be loved; you still believed it too, as a matter of fact. And Bucky, even he had started to fear your rejection after that.

But he could not deny that he loved you either way. He loved everything about you, from your determination to be a better surgeon to your generosity when it came to the way you treated your patients. You weren’t a surgical robot; unlike him, you actually had a heart. You had a heart that had been so deprived of love yet had so much love to give to everyone else around you. He had been the first one to notice that about you. And it was at that moment that he had fallen in love with you.

The two of you had only ever gotten a chance to work closely together when Steve had made the decision to go on a six month paternity leave after his daughter’s birth, leaving Bucky in charge of the department in his absence. Perhaps that was the time he had really gotten to know you as a surgeon and a human being, even though the two of you hadn’t gotten along all that well back then.

You had disagreed with him regarding a patient at that time, to which he had responded by taking you off the case. Your inability to see him in a place of authority and your slight confidence that Steve would have understood why you did certain things the way you did, had caused you to lash out at him. Bucky, being irritated by how you had challenged him in that situation and in desperate need of proving his authority, had suspended you from his service for an entire week.  

He had realized a few days later that he had been wrong to punish you; he had Wanda to thank for knocking some sense into his head regarding the way he had exercised his newfound power. But when he had approached you to convince you to return to work, he was slightly surprised to find that your time away from the hospital had been spent providing free medical care at a local homeless shelter in Brooklyn.

“I wasn’t expecting any visitors at this time...” You had told the familiar dark haired man who had entered the make-shift clinic you had set up at the shelter. Despite the issues that you may have had with him, you still had a lot of respect for him. He was a renowned surgeon in his own right, certainly more experienced than you were. A part of you felt guilty for the way you had disrespected him at the hospital, but you had only stood up for yourself and the call that you had made for your patient. You had every right to do that. “And I certainly wasn’t expecting a visit from you.”

“So, this is where you spend all of your free time after... turning down Nat’s invites to go to the bar after a hard day’s work.” Bucky noted as he looked around the dimly lit room that was barely the size of his laundry room. The clinic did not look typical at all, an old single bed pushed against the back wall, a small school desk and folding chair placed in the center of the room and a shelf against the other wall holding various medical supplies that you might need to use. The pasty white paint was starting flake out of the walls despite your attempts to cover them up with multiple anatomy posters. It could not compare to Brooklyn’s most reputable teaching hospital where the two of you worked, but he knew that you were certainly making a difference in the lives of the homeless people you were helping.

“Well, I do think that there’s a lot more value to my time if it’s spent tending to these people rather than screwing up my liver.” You told him with a hint of sarcasm evident in your voice, removing a pair of latex gloves that you had been wearing and tossing them into the trash can. “No offense to Nat though. I’m sure she understands that I had a valid reason to skip out on her usual hangouts.”

He stuffed his hands into his pockets as he stepped over to the shelf of supplies, eying the items that you had purchased and donated to the shelter before turning back around to face you. “Are you paying for all of these?”

You gave him a nod as you lathered some hand sanitizer on your hands, getting up from your chair as it was about time to close up for the night. “Well, these are just the bandages, gauze pads and cotton swabs... I only keep these in here. The ibuprofen and other pain killers, all of the other over the counter drugs, needles and syringes are locked in a storage room near the kitchen. I’m the only one who can go in and grab them. I can’t have anyone coming in here for free drugs, you know?”

Bucky nodded, understandingly, and his lips curled into a small smile at the thought of your generosity and the skill you had in operating such a clinic, the thought and planning that had gone into doing something like this. He was well aware that you had only moved to New York two years ago to begin your fellowship with Steve. But the woman who was running the shelter had informed him just now that you had offered to start up this make-shift clinic within a few months of living in Brooklyn. “And you’re prescribing as well?” He asked, noticing your prescription pad on the desk.

“Mostly antibiotics, to treat minor infections.” You replied with a shrug, reaching under the desk to grab your bag. “I made a deal with the drug store down the street. They’re open twenty-four hours a day. I would write down the prescriptions and one of the volunteers, MJ, she’s a nursing student from Queens who helps me out... she would run down the street and fill them up. The drugstore sends me a receipt and I pay them off, out of pocket.”

His eyes grew wide as he realized what you had been doing. “Out of pocket? How are you able to afford all of this?” He asked, curiously. Surely, as a heart surgeon himself, he knew just about how much money you would be making since you were recently board certified. While you could certainly afford to pay for the entire make-shift clinic at the shelter, he had assumed that you must still have some student loans to pay off. Taking that debt into consideration, he was surprised that you were able to give back so much.

You nodded as you tossed your prescription pad and pen in your bag, pulling off your stethoscope that loosely hung over your shoulders. “Yeah... I mean, it’s not that much. I think I’ve mastered the art of saving up and living on a budget over the years, Dr. Barnes. Most of my tuition during pre-med and med at NYU was paid off by scholarships. I had pretty good grades and the financial need so I pretty much got... a free ride. My rent and food were covered by the money I made working two part-time jobs and a weekend job and there wasn’t any student loan debt to be paid off. I made a pretty decent income working as a resident but after paying my rent, groceries and other necessities, I pretty much saved up. I didn’t even have a car so I didn’t need to pay for insurance or gas. I didn’t even waste my money taking the subway. I rode a bike to and from work... for five years. Everyone I knew judged me for it but I didn’t give a shit. Saving up a lot of money during residency was the only reason I was able to afford living in New York in the first place and... Now, I think I’m in a really good place.” You could not help but smile at that, feeling a sense of pride at how much you had accomplished over the years. “I worked so hard to get where I am, Dr. Barnes. And I did all of this because I wanted to make a difference. So, if I can’t make a difference by cutting into people’s hearts then I might as well make a difference by... doing this, I guess?” You told him with a shrug, sighing as you packed up your bag and grabbed your jacket.

It was at that moment that Bucky had truly regretted how harsh he had treated you, but he did not show it. He remembered that night two years ago, when he had walked in on you crying your eyes out in an on call room. He had remembered how he had told you to aim to be a better doctor than him and Steve could ever be, yet he had now seen in person that you already were a much better doctor and human being than he could ever be.

James Buchannan Barnes had always been a privileged man. His parents were both doctors who ran their own respective practices. He and his three sisters had been raised by a nanny in their mansion in Clinton Hill. By the time he had started first grade, his parents had already deposited a large amount into his college fund. At sixteen years old, he had been given his own Mercedes and at eighteen, he had moved into his own penthouse apartment overlooking the bridge. He had never had to work a part-time job or live on a budget to make ends meet. But he felt extremely guilty for being someone who had had it all and had given back nothing. Yet there you stood before him, someone who seemed to have very less than what he had but still gave more than he could ever.

“I... hate to do this right now, Dr. Y/L/N. I think it’s a very noble thing that you’re doing here and I hate to be the one to drag you away from it.” He admitted as he bit down on his bottom lip, his hands still stuffed in his pockets as he finally gained the courage to look you in the eye. “But the reason why I came down here was... because I wanted to apologize to you for the way I treated you and ask you to come back to work, even though what you’re doing here seems... better. You’re a really good doctor and a really good human being. I could really use someone like you on my service, someone who actually has a heart.”

You let out a chuckle as you shrugged on your jacket and walked up to him. “Well, as much as I love being here... and mind you, I’ve been here every single day since you kicked me out of the OR, I’ve come to realize that the only way I can keep running this clinic is if I can actually fund it.” You admitted, laughing softly. “And I may or may not need to have a day job for that.”

Bucky chuckled softly as he nodded in agreement. “No, really... I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have humiliated you in the OR like that and I shouldn’t have undermined your judgement. Your patient, your call... although the procedure was rather unconventional, I could have cut you some slack. After all, you did train under Steve and I shouldn’t have been so surprised to know that you might have picked up some things from him.”

You laughed at the way he poked fun at his best friend. “Well, Dr. Barnes... I did cross the line and as my newly appointed boss, you had every right to interfere and take disciplinary action.” You admitted as you sighed. “I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have been so disrespectful towards you, especially in the OR. That was extremely rude of me and I’m really sorry.”

He nodded. “Apology accepted.”

You smiled politely at him as you motioned him to follow you outside of the room, turning off the lights on your way out. “Hey, I never bothered to ask. How did you even find me here?” You asked as you locked up the clinic, turning over to give him a confused look. No one at the hospital was aware of what you did on your spare time, except Dr. Rogers. Yet you could not help but wonder how he had found you.

Bucky looked down at his feet as he walked down the dimly lit hallway of that led to the front desk of the shelter. “Well, my temporary yet newfound power does allow me took look into your employee records.” He admitted as he laughed softly. “I found your home address from your profile and went down to the Indian restaurant that’s located on said address. A waiter told me that you lived on the loft apartment upstairs and that you weren’t home right now. So, I asked him where I could find you.”

You let at a sigh at his explanation. “Did you really go out of your way to... do what? Ask me to come back to work?” You were slightly surprised by the fact that anyone would even care that you were not home. Hell, you were even surprised that Dr. Barnes had even showed up to your little clinic to apologize to you after what had happened. You had taken him for a rather arrogant man, compared to Steve. This was partially true though, even he wouldn’t deny that. Yet his attempts to give you a personal apology did seem endearing to you. He intrigued you.

He nodded as he looked over at you. “Yeah...” He looked over at the woman who was sitting at the front desk and waved her goodbye.

“Goodnight, Dolores.” You told her as you walked out the front door, Bucky following right behind you. “You’re not going to ask me why I live above a restaurant, are you, Dr. Barnes?” You asked him, curiously, wondering if he was judging your choice in a home. While you could certainly afford a nicer apartment with your new salary, you had chosen to live there for the sake of convenience. The old Indian couple who owned the restaurant were kind enough to allow you to eat in the restaurant whenever you wanted, knowing very well that your unpredictable work hours did not allow you to even cook a meal for yourself. When you weren’t working at the hospital or running the clinic at the shelter and you happened to miss the good old days of waitressing, you would lend them a hand at times.

“It’s none of my business.” He admitted, shaking his head as the two of you stepped had stepped out into the cold winter night. “But I think I learned a lot about you this evening and that’s saying something, considering how distant you have been with all of us.”

Your warm breath had condensed every time you exhaled, the air a little misty as it was that night. “I admit that I might come off as- more like, I really am... a bit closed off. But I have a valid reason for that.” You admitted as you walked along the sidewalk, the snow crunching under your boots with every step you took. “I’ve been used to doing my own thing, Dr. Barnes. It’s really hard to get out of that.”

“That’s understandable.”

The two of you walked in silence for the next few minutes, neither of you uttering a word as the snow continued to fall from the sky. It was not an awkward silence but one that was calming, to him more than yourself though. You kept your eyes at your feet, not knowing what exactly you needed to say in order to keep a conversation going. Not that you had nothing to say. You wanted to keep talking but you were hesitant about doing so. What could you possibly say to that man that could be of interest to him? What if you said something wrong and he took it the wrong way? That had happen once already and it had almost cost you your job. You could not make that same mistake.

“What made you want to start up this clinic, Y/L/N?” Bucky asked, curiously, finally breaking the silence. “Why did you go out of your way to do this?”

“Because...” You paused to bite down on your bottom lip, not knowing if you should give him an honest answer to his question. Would that be over-sharing? After all, you had spilled quite so much of your past to him. Did you need to say more? “Because I know how it feels, Dr. Barnes. I know how it feels to be out here in the cold... no food, no warm clothes, nowhere to go. The uncertainty of whether you would get through the night and into the next morning, it’s... the worst feeling in the world and... I just wouldn’t wish that upon anyone.”

“You know, Steve grew up... just a few blocks away from here.” He recalled, his hands still cold despite the fact that they had never left his pockets.

You nodded. “He did mention it when I told him about me volunteering for the shelter. As a matter of fact, he funded the clinic for the first couple of months until I was able to handle it on my own.”

“His mother was my nanny. She started working for our family after her husband passed.” He did not know why he was telling you this but his guilt for not being the better human being may have had a part in that. “Steve and I knew each other since we were very little. He’s like the brother I never had. His mother raised me and my sisters as if we were her own. She passed away when he was just about eighteen. Bronchioloalveolar carcinoma, the tumor was malignant by the time they caught it and she had already been misdiagnosed with pneumonia. There was nothing anyone could have done to save her. Steve couldn’t... he couldn’t afford to live after that. My folks offered to pay off the medical bills but he wouldn’t accept it. He had just gotten into NYU but he didn’t even know if he would end up going. A few days after his mother’s funeral, I found him right outside of that same shelter. I asked him to come and live with me and he told me that he could get by on his own. But I told him he didn’t have to... and I dragged him right back to my place and let him live in my guest bedroom for as long as he needed to. I owed that much to his mother. Best heart surgeon in New York and the best father in the entire world now that he traded his scalpel for changing diapers, he was capable of being so much better... than what life had to offer him, Y/N. You are also capable of being so much better than whatever life had to offer you and I hope you know that.” And that was the moment Bucky had realized that even he was capable of being better than what life had offered him. Perhaps he would start by writing you a cheque so that you could continue you doing what you were doing for the shelter. That was the least he could do.

Just then the two of you reached the Indian restaurant above which you lived. “Well... this is me.” You told him as you motioned towards to loft above the restaurant.

He nodded, pointing to his Mercedes that he had parked just across the street from the restaurant. “And that’s me.”

“Goodnight, Dr. Barnes.” You gave him a wave as you began to walk into the diner, stopping in front of the door before turning around to look at him. “Hey... James?”

He had turned around to cross the street once he waved you goodbye when you had called out to him. At first he was a little startled that you had referred to him by his first name, as you had never done that before. Besides, no one else other than his parents had called James. “Yes?”

“Thank you.” You told him as you gave him a genuine smile.

He nodded, smiling brightly as he ran his hand through his hair. And it was at that moment on that cold winter night did Y/N Y/L/N manage to thaw out the cold dead heart of James Buchannan Barnes.

“Goodnight, Y/N.” Bucky leaned over to press his lips against your forehead once more, his cold hands gently running through your hair as he sighed. He knew that you would have no recollection of this, since you were still knocked out from pain meds. But he could not help but speak to your unconscious self before he left, for the sake of his own sanity. “Wanda’s making me go home for the night so I might not see you again until... the day after tomorrow, I guess. Hang in there, doll. I hope you feel better... and I’ll see you when I get back.” I love you, he wanted to say, but he held himself back because he would rather say it in person and when the time was right. Grabbing his belongings, he walked out of your hospital room as he gave Thor a thumbs up, jogging down the hallway, down the stairs, past the ER and out the door towards the parking lot where he had parked his Mercedes.

It was only when he had started his car did he remember that he had forgotten to turn his phone back on. Before he pulled out of the parking lot, he turned on his phone to see that had several missed calls and text messages from his sister.

His eyebrows furrowed as he read her texts, a lump forming in his throat as he began to worry about the context of the messages. Bucky had asked his private investigator sister to do him a favor last week. And from what her messages now said, she must have found something that was relevant. He could not help but expect the worst after that.

Becca Barnes: Hey Buck, your phone’s off so you’re probably at work. Just wanted to let you know that I’m just heading back from Philly.

Becca Barnes: I found some things that you might find concerning. Let me know if I can come over tomorrow. I can’t tell you any of this through the phone.

Bucky bit down on his lip as he typed up a reply, but he could not help but worry about what his sister had found out for him.

How about first thing in the morning? I’m not working tomorrow.

[rosethornewrites]

Fic: this body yet survives, ch. 3

Relationship: Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn

Characters: Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī, Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén, Lán Qǐrén, Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Jiāng Chéng | Jiāng Wǎnyín, Jiāng Yànlí

Additional Tags: No War AU, Recovery, Trauma, Dissociation, Courtship, Courting Rituals

Summary: Lan Wangji and Wei Ying go to Caiyi, but have an unexpected encounter.

Notes: See end

Parts 1 & 2

Chapter 1 | 2 

AO3 link

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Wangji soaked in Wei Ying’s good cheer, how he flitted around the mountain path on the way to Caiyi to examine anything that caught his eye. He had to discourage him from capturing another rabbit for the herd in Cloud Recesses; after all, they would have to go back if he was successful, and they had not yet reached their destination.

“On the way home, then,” Wei Ying said, his grin as wide as those during his days as a student, and Wangji’s heart clenched in joy to see it.

Caiyi was bustling, the fishermen hawking the morning catch, and Wei Ying held back a little at the chaos of it, staying closer to Wangji, reminding him that he was still fragile, still easily overwhelmed. This was the first trip to town since he had truly started to heal, after all.

Wangji had a mental map of the town and the places he wished to take him, purchases he wished to make; a gaun, scented oil for his hair, spicy foods—whatever Wei Ying wanted, he would have—and the personal additions to the betrothal gifts he would present to the Jiang siblings.

As hesitant as he seemed to enter the crowd, Wei Ying was also fascinated by the fish hawking, curious about the tubs of live catch. He stopped to watch a turtle for a bit, fascinated by the markings on the top of its neck that resembled eyes. It was a colorful specimen, with a dark brown shell and distinctive markings.

“Do you want it?” Wangji asked softly. 

Wei Ying smiled at him, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“Where would I put it? The Cold Spring? Your uncle would kick me out.”

Wangji frowned, troubled that Wei Ying still thought, even jokingly, he would be discarded so easily, that his place was so tenuous. He had to remind himself that shufu and xiongzhang would clarify that today, that he would soon realize the Cloud Recesses was his home. 

“There is a small pond outside the jingshi,” he offered.

“‘Pets are forbidden,’ Lan Zhan. You don’t need more creatures to take care of.”

He wondered if they were speaking of the turtle anymore. 

“Not a pet,” Wangji clarified. “It is a wild thing, and could live to old age there, protected.”

As he hoped Wei Ying himself would in the jingshi with him—not as a caged creature, but as his beloved, loved as he deserved.

Wei Ying was quiet for a moment, watching the turtle, but finally nodded.

“Let’s rescue it, then,” he murmured, his voice rough. “So it won’t end up someone’s dinner tonight.”

Turtles, after all, were symbols of longevity, power, and tenacity. In some ways, they represented what Wei Ying had endured and survived. He had endured so much, had defeated the water he had been left in to die. Turtles were seen as powerful bringers of luck and serenity, both things Wei Ying could use. Perhaps this encounter, their purchase of it, was auspicious. 

He stayed close as Wangji purchased it and smiled more sincerely when he handed him a covered basket with the turtle secured inside.

“We will release it in the pond when we return home,” he told him softly, mentally adding the bookseller to his list of places to go so they could find a book on turtles. 

They wandered toward the market, Wei Ying moving carefully so as not to jostle the turtle. The bookseller was first, and they perused the shelves together, quickly finding a suitable book. 

Wangji noticed Wei Ying’s eyes lingering on a book of poetry and pulled it from the shelf, curious. It was a collection of the poems of Ruan Ji and Ji Kang, two notable sages in a time of turbulent wars, and rumored lovers. He could see the blush on Wei Ying’s face, and felt his own ears heat as he recalled that one of the two had written homoerotic poetry; he wondered if this volume contained them. 

He bought both books, slipping them in his qiankun pouch. They could read them together. 

At the stall with scented oils for hair, Wei Ying seemed lost at the number of options, and looked to Wangji for help. 

“You can try smaller amounts of different ones until you find one you like,” Wangji said softly, “but this might fit you.”

He had the vendor mix a small sample of orange and cinnamon for Wei Ying to smell and was pleased to see the scents seemed to relax him. Wangji was happy to purchase it.

Wei Ying, he knew, often let his hair go, not taking care of it. He would take charge of it personally, he decided, perhaps enlisting Jiang Yanli’s help while they were courting, when it would be a bit inappropriate for him to do so.

Wangji noticed a stall of colorful candies and stopped to buy Wei Ying tanghulu. This seller, he knew, removed the hawthorn seeds and replaced them with red bean paste before glazing them with sugar.

He took a bite when Wei Ying offered, enjoying the sweet and tart mixtures, the crunch followed by the meatiness of the hawthorn and the soft cream of the bean paste. Wei Ying happily munched on the rest on the way to the next stall. 

Before they reach it, Wei Ying froze, the mostly-eaten tanghulu falling from his fingers to the ground. Wangji followed his gaze and found Jin Zixuan at a nearby stall, along with Madam Jin—who, he recalled, was the sworn sister of Madam Yu.

Wangji could hear Wei Ying’s breath, how it had started to speed up, and recognized he was in the beginning of a panic attack. He turned to face him, moving Wei Ying so he could still see her in his peripheral vision—he already knew she was there, and could panic worse if he couldn’t see her, but he tried to encourage him to focus on him. 

“I am here,” Wangji told him. “You are not alone.”

Wei Ying managed a nod, taking deep breaths and pressing one thumb to the opposite palm, something the mind healers had taught him to help him find calm.

Jin Zixuan approached, Madam Jin hanging back. He bowed and Wangji bowed back, noting that Wei Ying did the same, shaking slightly.

“Lan-er-gongzi, Wei-gongzi, we intended to visit Cloud Recesses. I didn’t realize you would be in Caiyi.”

He sounded apologetic, and Wangji knew he could see Wei Ying struggling. 

“Wei-gongzi, my mother has come to speak with you.”

A panicked noise, so soft Wangji was sure only he heard it, escaped Wei Ying, his breath stuttering again. His knuckles were white, his hand clenched around the basket handle. 

Madam Jin was looking at Wei Ying with an expression that bordered on pity, he realized.

“I apologize for your ill treatment at the hands of my former sworn sister, Wei Wuxian,” she said bluntly, bowing low to him. “And for the discomfort my presence has brought you.”

Confusion washed over Wei Ying’s face at her words, but he also seemed to focus, coming out of his panic.

“Former?” he asked, his voice hoarse.

Madam Jin nodded.

“I could not continue being her sworn sister after what she did to you, her own ward. It was inexcusable.”

Wei Ying looked lost, almost dizzy, and Wangji placed a hand on his upper arm in case he fell.

“Over something as small as talismans to change the color of the tea,” Jin Zixuan muttered.

Wangji felt Wei Ying tremble, the memory tied up in his near-death. He had stuck talismans to the undersides of each sect leader’s teapot, and the tea had come out in the sect’s main color—Jiang Fengmian’s, violet; Nie Mingjue’s, deep green; xiongzhang’s, a pale blue; Wen Ruohan’s, crimson; Jin Guangshan’s, golden. Even minor sect leaders’ teapots had transformed the color of their tea.

The talismans had changed nothing else about the tea, neither flavor nor quality, and had been well-received by the sect leaders when Wei Ying had explained the tea was safe.

“Just an extra treat for the discussion conference,” he had said with a respectful bow and a cheeky smile.

Madam Yu had ordered him out, stalking after him, and it had been the last time anyone had seen Wei Ying until Jiang Yanli found him so close to death.

“I revealed lax security, she said,” Wei Ying murmured, his voice hollow.

He was shaking more obviously now, and Wangji moved closer as he swayed. They had never spoken of the incident, and he had no idea how Wei Ying might react.

“That’s ridiculous!” Jin Zixuan muttered, the anger in his voice surprising. “Of course you had access as head disciple.”

His comment seemed to jolt Wei Ying out of what Wangji had feared might be the beginning of a fugue, and he started at the Jin heir blankly, like he hadn’t expected a defense from him.

Wangji approved of his anger, befitting one who would be Wei Ying’s brother in law. Madam Yu’s actions had clearly led to a change in Jin Zixuan for the better. He could remember, vaguely, the young man trying to comfort Jiang Yanli as she sobbed, telling her that her brother was strong, he would be okay. Wangji had been far more focused on Wei Ying, leaving him only to help the Jiang siblings pack his belongings and expedite their departure, and only in the care of xiongzhang.

“We are bringing up bad memories,” Madam Jin realized, her voice regretful. “I actually wish to commission you for your talisman work, Wei Wuxian.”

Wei Ying swallowed hard, clearly making an effort to stay present mentally. 

“What kind of talisman, Jin-furen?”

She offered him a gentle smile.

“I’d prefer not to discuss it in the street. Let me treat you to lunch, and we can get a private room and chat. With Lan Wangji and my son present, of course.”

Wangji realized she was trying to assure Wei Ying she did not wish him ill, would not seek to harm him, and perhaps was letting him know as well.

Wei Ying gave a jerky nod, glancing at him as though for reassurance. He decided to lead the way to the restaurant he had intended to take him to for lunch, a place known for spicy fare but with dishes that suited his own palate. It happened to have private dining rooms, which Wangji had intended for them anyway, so Wei Ying would have a break from people.

The move put the Jins behind them, he realized when Wei Ying clung to his arm, but the walk was blessedly short. Madam Jin was kind enough to lead the way up the stairs, clearly recognizing Wei Ying’s distress. He was thankful that she also allowed Wei Ying to decide where in the smaller room to sit, deferring to him in a way that most people of her station would not.

Though her kindness was not unselfish—she did, after all, want something—he appreciated it nonetheless. He led Wei Ying to a seat around the table, where he could see the door, a window nearby to facilitate escape if needed, both things that might make him feel more secure.

Wangji worried Wei Ying might eat little, a behavior that manifested when he was stressed, but he could do nothing to alleviate that.

“May we speak before we eat?” Madam Jin asked after settling across from them with her son. “If you decide against taking the commission, I will still purchase lunch. It is the least I can do given your willingness to speak with me.”

Wei Ying nodded again, grasping Wangji’s hand under the table. Wangji squeezed gently, trying to reassure him.

“As you may be aware, my husband has… dallied,” she began.

Jin Zixuan’s face turned a bit sour at this, and Wangji was reminded of Wei Ying’s question to him when he asked for permission to court Jiang Yanli.

“Given… recent events, I have decided it would be prudent to find the children resulting from his indiscretions.”

Wei Ying’s gaze sharpened a bit.

“For what purpose?” he asked softly.

Wangji squeezed his hand again, knowing his thoughts; Wei Ying would not wish to create anything that could result in deaths.

Madam Jin smiled, as though the question pleased her.

“To protect them. I will not legitimize them, but I want them and their mothers, who were perhaps lied to or coerced, or whose freedom needs to be bought from brothels, to be safe and cared for. The children should have the opportunity to learn to cultivate and have a relationship with my son as their half-brother, along with their other half-siblings.”

She sighed softly. 

“All involved are innocents, and I could stay bitter as I once was and wish them ill, but after… what was done to you, I don’t wish to be that person. The world could mistake that behavior as acceptable, as there have been few consequences. I want to offer an alternative.”

Wei Ying seemed to need to take several breaths, his hand tightening on Wangji’s for a moment, before he could nod. Wangji could see a suspicious sheen to his eyes, and realized Wei Ying was overcome by Madam Jin’s desire to make right somehow, to force something positive to result from what was done to him.

“One to find, and one to also test those who step forth with claims?” Wei Ying asked after he had calmed. 

Madam Jin let out a breath, looking relieved, almost as though she had been concerned Wei Ying would not be up to the task, perhaps still too traumatized. 

Not long ago, he would have been, Wangji had to admit. But he was getting better, and he had never stopped inventing new talismans. 

“Yes, that would also be useful,” she said. “Thank you.”

“There would likely be a limit on distance,” Wei Ying told her. “But I’d have to experiment with options and prototypes.”

Madam Jin set a large bag of gold in front of him, and Wei Ying’s eyes widened.

“This is a down payment. I understand it may take time, and there is no rush. I will reimburse you for any materials needed, if that becomes an issue.”

Wei Ying looked up at her, frowning slightly.

“I will need your husband’s blood,” he said. “Unless you want me to focus on the sibling aspect, and then I could use Jin Zixuan’s.”

Wangji realized this was Wei Ying’s way of asking if this was being done secretly, without Sect Leader Jin’s knowledge.

Madam Jin actually laughed softly. 

“Oh, you are bright,” she said, her voice full of delighted praise. “My husband is still claiming innocence, and is not willing to take part in this project. My son has kindly offered to help instead.”

Wangji tried not to be concerned about the implications that this could be against Sect Leader Jin’s wishes. Wei Ying was under the protection of Gusu Lan now, and he would defend him personally if need be.

Jin Zixuan pulled out a pouch and slid it gently across the table.

“Several vials of my blood. I can provide more if needed.”

Wei Ying looked momentarily shocked at the implied level of trust—the amount of blood needed to harm someone via a curse or hex was miniscule, after all—and attempted a smile. 

“I’ll try not to waste any.”

Jin Zixuan only nodded, and Wangji took the bag to slip into his qiankun pouch. Wei Ying handed him the pouch of money without looking at him, the exchange made less simple by the fact that Wei Ying didn’t let go of his hand under the table. Though his grip wasn’t tight, Wangji refused to break it, refused to let go when he needed him.

Madam Jin slid the door open to let the servers know they were ready for tea.

Wei Ying’s gaze had gone a bit glassy, though his eyes were moving as he thought, perhaps distracted by ideas for the talisman. Wangji resolved to ensure Wei Ying ordered and ate plenty, knowing he might need prompting. He knew they would return to Cloud Recesses following this, without a replacement for Wei Ying’s broken guan, and without additional gifts for the Jiang siblings. Wei Ying would need time to rest before meeting with shufu and xiongzhang, particularly after the strain he had just endured.

They would release the turtle in front of the jingshi together, and Wangji would play the guqin for him while he rested. Then, following the meeting, wherein Wei Ying’s status would be clarified, Wangji would seek permission from his siblings to court him.

He ran his thumb across the back of Wei Ying’s hand, and was relieved when the act was returned, when the glassiness left his eyes and he looked at him with a tired-looking smile.

------------

I didn’t really expect the turtle thing, but it happened kind of organically as I was bringing Caiyi to life. Wei Ying is going to name it Tang 汤, meaning ‘soup,’ because of course he is. This particular turtle is a species native to mountainous regions of southern China, the four-eyed turtle. And now I need to do more research on turtles because of course I do.

In addition to Wei Ying’s recovery, this fic is also in part about the cultivation world’s reaction to what Yu Ziyuan did, in that there are some consequences. Hence Madam Jin dissolving their sworn sisterhood and commissioning Wei Ying. Her decision to take in and ensure Jin Guangshan’s bastards and mistresses are cared for is partially out of spite for what her former sworn sister did, but is also the result of some soul-searching on her part. This is not Madam Jin assuming that Wei Ying is Jiang Fengmian’s secret bastard son, btw.

As I’ve noted in other MDZS fics I’m writing, I like to explore how a point of change can cascade to change other things, so I am back on my bullshit. Also, I think this makes the third fic where I’ve referenced Ruan Ji and Ji Kang. I just bought a book of their translated poetry that’s supposed to be delivered next week.

[its-pronounced-quoassoint]

Power Rangers AU-Chapter 5

Pairings: romantic Logicality, Prinxiety, Demus, Remile

This Chapter Features: Remus centric storyline-ish, lots of exposition, think of it as a filler episode I guess

This Chapter Warnings: brief angst, mentions of death, mentions of blood, mentions of Mountian Dew, talks about Reddie fanfiction, sympathetic Deceit and Remus

Credit for this AU goes to @when-day-met-the-knight (specifically this post)

If you would like to be added to the taglist for this fic please let me know in reply!

First Previous Next

Chapter 5-Downright

Remus was sick of going through the whole 'this-is-who-we're-fighting-and-a-boring-explanation' speech. The first time was bad enough. He was so unbelievably bored. How could anyone sit there and listen to Thomas talk on and on like that. The second time was a little entertaining because Roman liked to add his little spin and Thomas didn't appreciate it as much as Roman thought he did. The third time was no fun at all. Patton, though he knew about the fight a decade ago that had ended with only one Ranger surviving, he still didn't exactly know who this new 'Prince Virgilius' was.

Now, it was the fourth time around and Remus felt he could recite it to Dee himself without any help. He didn't want to do that because he was still pissed at Dee-leave it to Remus to hold grudges-but he still could explain it by memory nonetheless.

"The Dragon Witch." Thomas began.

The Rangers plus Thomas were sat in Thomas's basement that doubled as a little hideout for the Rangers. It was decorated like an old 90's dream club house. Patton and Roman sat in paw print patterned bean bags, sharing a chocolate bar. Logan stood at his conspiracy wall-he didn't call it that, but Remus knew all too well it was a conspiracy wall. And Dee was sat down on the pink inflatable couch.

"She began her attack on Earth hundreds of years ago. This you know from your average history class. Back then Power Rangers were all over the globe. Essentially one Ranger per continent. Though Antarctica didn't quite need to be covered."

"No one messes with penguins!" Patton chimed in goofily. This got a laugh out of Roman and a small smile from Thomas.

"Then the Power Rangers disappeared for a century. No explanation, no help for the public, nothing." Thomas tried to continue.

"The Red Century." Logan said plainly from where he stood.

"Yes. That's when the Red Century began. The Red Century however, abruptly ended when the Dragon Witch pulled her armies and stopped her attack all together." Thomas stated. "That was until the early 1900s when she began to specifically attack America. Then centralizing Florida, then our town. We didn't quite know why, until the Rangers of the 30s began to fight back."

"Since then, the Rangers have been chosen from generation to generation." Thomas moved over to stand by Logan's timeline. "A little over 20 years ago, my friends and I became the Rangers you knew as a child."

"Valerie, Red Ranger. Dominic, Green Ranger. Terrence, Yellow Ranger. Joan, Blue Ranger. Talyn, Pink Ranger. And Thomas, the Black Ranger." Logan pointed to pictures of each of the Rangers as he says their name.

"Until ten years ago, when, uhm-" Thomas's voice wavered.Remus saw him look to Patton who gave a small smile and turned to Dee, getting out of his bean bag and walking to the fridge by Logan's conspiracy board.

"Do you remember ten years ago when the Rangers disappeared?" Patton asked. "Everyone thought the Red Century was starting again."

"Of course. It was chaos," Dee sat back on the couch. "until the Black Ranger, or Thomas I guess, started fighting again."

"I was in recovery for a few months after we battled the Dragon Witch herself. The others didn't uh. . . di-didn't make it. I was the only Ranger until, well Roman and Remus." Thomas gestured to the twins.

Dee was avoiding Remus's eye. It was so deliberate Remus just wanted to shout 'You're really bad at this! It's so pathetic you're making me feel sorry for you. Just say something! Coward.'

"And now I'm-" Dee took a breath. "The Yellow Ranger."

"Whoop!!" Patton raised a Mountain Dew from the fridge in the air in a cheer.

"Mountain Dew?" Logan asked. "Should you be drinking that, when was the last time the drinks in there were replenished?"

"I'm sorry, but Mountain Dew from forever ago? Does there happen to be any red Mountain Dew in there?"

"Is this another The Prom reference?" Logan asked in an annoyed tone.

"No, Be More Chill, but good for you, guessing a Broadway show." Roman smiled.

"Well you don't talk about much other than Broadway so one can only assume." Logan mumbled and turned back to the board.

"What else in the world is worth talking about?!" Roman exclaimed. "Other than Lizzo and/or Zendaya."

"Cheers to that!" Patton lightly threw a Red Mountain Dew to Roman who missed the catch but snatched it off the floor with a bit of a deflated look.

"And this, Prince, that we're fighting he-"

"Prince Virgilius. He started leading the Dragon Witch's armies two years ago. I'm honestly not sure where he came from or what his true powers are. The teleportation has been something he's always had, but the fire, is new as of a few months ago." Thomas informed him.

"So far, no idea as to where he came from-"

"Where he'll go!" Roman cut in.

"Where he's come from Cotton Eye Joe." Patton finished.

"I feel this should be a more serious discussion." Logan said plainly to Thomas.

"Lo-Lo, we're sitting on inflatable furniture in a decked out, early 90s, fever dream." Remus pointed out. "You're not gonna get serious while down here. Throw me a soda Pat?"

"Please never call me that." Logan rolled his eyes.

Patton chuckled and threw a Mountain Dew to Remus. His ability to catch was no better than Roman's, so the soda hit him in the chest as his arms fumbled to catch it.

"Sorry Remus." Patton recoiled and apologized.

"How are you guys Power Rangers? You can't catch a thing! At least Patton can throw." Dee scoffed.

"Dee, please, we're gay, we can't catch for anything." Roman sighed.

"Bet! I can catch hands!" Remus opened his soda and took a long sip.

"Alright bet!" Roman stood.

"Well this isn't a very hero-like conversation." Emile giggled from the stairs.

"What are you doing down here? You shouldn't be listening to this." Thomas crosses his arms.

"Yeah well, you're all loud." Emile stated cheerfully. "Besides, I don't see why I can't listen. I already know everything."

"It's true he does." Patton shrugged. "However, Emile, you shouldn't really have to worry about any of this."

"You knew all of this when you were younger than me." Emile argued.

"Yeah, um, how's that?" Dee asked.

Patton walked back to his bean bag and sat down. "Talyn was my adoptive parent. My birth mother in South Korea was unable to keep me. So, a while after I was born, Talyn adopted me. I grew up around the Rangers."

"Patton dreamed of being a Ranger. For years that was all you would hear about." Thomas chuckled fondly.

"Six years after Talyn got Patton, my dad here, got me." Emile sat next to Patton on the bean bag.

"Then, after the Rangers fought the Dragon Witch, and Talyn didn't make it," Patton's voice broke a little, but he recovered quickly. "I was put in foster care."

"Luckily I was able to make a deal with the FBI about Patton's foster family." Thomas said.

"FBI?"

"What?" Thomas turned back around to see everyone in the room looking at him confused. "Did you all really think we were some group of hero's that reported to no one? It's a bit like the Avengers, they reported to shield who had to follow special guidelines set by the government. The Rangers are in contact with the government to protect our identities and to keep track of us."

It was silent. Remus looked around, Roman and Patton seemed to be having a silent conversation while Logan looked like the human version of a computer trying to calculate some weird math thing. Dee just looked a little overwhelmed by all of what was happening. But Remus wouldn't really know what that expression looks like on Dee. He definitely wasn't reading Dee like a picture book.

"If we're the avengers then Logan is Tony Stark and Patton is Steve." Emile said softly, attempting to relieve a little bit of the tension.

"Oh my god!" Roman looked to Emile. "And you're their son Peter Parker."

"Yes!" Emile pointed to Roman in agreement.

"What?" Logan squeaked.

"I love it!" Patton said suddenly, eyes bright. He moved to Emile and wrapped him in a hug.

"Logan look at our beautiful son!"

Remus burst into laughter. "Logan looks like a malfunctioning computer! Oh my god!!" Logan's ears turned bright pink and he turned away. However, this only resulted in Remus laughing more. He laughed so hard he fell to the floor, almost in tears. Roman was clearly having a hard time holding in his laughter while Dee shamelessly snorted at Logan's expression.

"Now don't be mean." Patton scolded jokingly.

"I will never understand you kids." Thomas shook his head.

"You're a guidance counselor." Emile pointed out.

"Doesn't mean I'm any good." Thomas shrugged turning back to Logan's board.

The laughter died down, but Remus for the life of him couldn't wipe his smile off his face. It felt good to smile with everyone.

. . .

Remus still didn't talk to Dee that much and he stopped interacting with Kayley all together because of it. The only tome he really felt sorry about it was when he overheard Kayley lashing out at Dee for messing up so she couldn't get her stuff any more. Remus didn't really feel much remorse for him though. It was Dee's fault after all, right? He figured Dee would say something sooner or later, so it was best to just get on with his life. Besides, he already was forced to see Dee more than he would have liked, what with their weekly Power Ranger meetings.

It had been a few weeks since Dee joined the team, and Remus had to admit, they worked together well enough. In that time Logan had decided there must be a pattern to Virgilius's attacks. It would seem random to anyone just casually observing, but Logan was convinced there was something behind it. The most likely theory was posed by Patton, he thought it had something to do with the moon rotation, but that still didn't sit well with Logan.

Surprising to everyone including himself, Remus discovered a pattern.

"The last attack on the upper east side of the town," Logan pointed to that side of a map of the town. "was September 14th."

"Mhm." Patton nodded along.

"Then he once again attacked the upper east side on September 30th." Logan stated. "However, the most recent attack was on the west side of town, two weeks ago on the 3rd."

Remus sighed. He pulled out his phone and stopped paying attention. He never contributed to these strategy talks anyway. This was for the others really. They were the ones who knew stuff. Remus just punched stuff.

As Dee joined the conversation, proposing the location of attacks could be the real pattern, Remus looked up to see Logan making a list. One column was dated of attacks and the other was where in the town the attacks took place. Remus looked back down at his phone, popping in a blue tooth ear bud and listening to a few of the more recent chapters of a fan fiction he was following.

Then, it hit him.

"I know the pattern!!!" Remus jumped up. "I know it! I know what his pattern is!!"

"Wh-what?" Dee asked.

"Remus, explain." Logan looked at his skeptical.

"Preferable less yelling next time kiddo."

"Yeah Pat, sure." Remus gave Patton a nod and walked up to the three at Logan's conspiracy board. "Here, there's this really popular fan fiction-"

Dee and Roman snorted before Patton and Remus shot them both dirty looks.

"Anyway! There's this really popular fanfic called Downright. It's about reddie, ya know Richie and Eddie from It." Remus went on. "I don't really read it, I listen to the audio version on YouTube."

"Get to the point please." Dee rolled his eyes.

Remus scoffed but did so anyway. "Look, here, since August, every attack has been a day after a new chapter is posted. I mean, this can't be a coincidence."

Remus handed Logan his phone who went to reaffirm Remus's hypotheses. Logan mumbled each chapter title posted since August and the date they were posted. Then matched it with an attack.

"Here, look, the author had been trying for a few months to post regularly, but took a break here." Remus pointed on the phone. "Then that Prince dude stopped."

"Around the time I became a Ranger." Patton noted, writing on the board.

"Then she posts another chapter and boom! A day after he's back at it!" Remus pointed to the place Logan had marked on his map of the town that corresponded to the attack Remus was talking about.

"So what does this mean, the Prince is some kind of fanboy?" Roman asked from his seat.

"Well, from this information we can assume that not only does our general study humans but takes interest in human things, to the point where he's, um, reading fanfiction about it." Logan began. "We can start a profile of Virgilius. If we have an idea of who he is, then predicting what he'll do next will only be easier."

"Ooo, this is like an episode of Sherlock!" Patton beamed.

"You watch Sherlock?" Logan questioned.

"I'm getting into it." Patton shrugged. "I can relate to Watson a lot."

"He's the bi one!" Roman declared. "Right? Sherlock's gay and Watson's bi?"

"Well, I've never posed that question. However! Not the topic of conversation we should be focusing on." Logan turned to Remus, handing him back the phone. "What can you tell us about people who typically read this, uh, fanfiction?"

"Well, to be honest, most of them are repressed gays. Definitely has a Tumblr blog, that's likely where he found the fic. Um, a horror fan but not classic horror, modern horror, and is probably pretty progressive. Because he's reading this fic it means he wasn't happy with the ending of It Chapter 2." Remus started.

"Meaning he had to somehow see the movie!" Patton continued jotting stuff down.

"Really, there's not much. It's not like other fandoms. He's definitely not in Thomas's generation because they aren't exactly fans of Reddie." Remus looked away. "He could either be a younger millennial or older gen-z. But other than that I can't say much else. People in the It fandom don't have any stereotypes like other fandoms. I mean some of them are insane 12 year olds."

"We can rule that one out." Logan dismissed. "However, Remus, what you said is more helpful than you think. We've got a rough profile of what he's like. We can use that to predict his moves. Granted, it's not the best information, but something is better than nothing."

"Plus, we've got Remus." Roman got up and walked over with the others. "You can tell us when the author uploads a chapter and we'll be prepared for the next day."

"Yeah, but she's almost done with the work. Like three chapters left at the most." Remus said, abruptly killing the mood.

It was quiet for a beat too long.

"Well, in the time we have, we've just gotta try our best to learn as much as we can about him!" Patton smiled through it.

"Besides, since we know he bases his attacks off of when something he likes is released, we can find another thing he might be interested in and use that as a predictor." Logan looked to his board, now adorning a list of attributes the Rangers know about Virgilius.

"Hey kids! I've got pizza bagels." Thomas yelled from the kitchen.

Patton and Roman cheered and raced up the stairs. Logan chuckled and followed the two with a fond expression. Remus watched them go. He couldn't help but feel a smile on his face. It felt kinda nice to help them. Granted they still were losers-well, not Patton-but Remus had to admit, having more than Dee to care about him felt good.

"Remus?"

Speak of the devil.

Remus peered at Dee from the side of his eye before moving to the stairs.

"Remus, hang on okay! This is so childish." Dee scoffed.

"What's childish? Me? You can add that to your list." Remus sneered and Dee flinched from his comment.

"No-I. . ." Dee looked away, Remus wondered if he was deciding whether he was annoyed or sorry. "I'm sorry I said those things."

Sorry it is.

"I mean it, I am. I should have know how hurt they would make you feel." Dee admitted. "I've never really apologized to anyone so I'm not too good at this-"

"But you're trying." Remus cut him off. "Look, Patton and I have been talking. He's trying to help me get into the college I like."

"That one for design and fashion?" Dee asked hesitantly.

"Yeah." Remus smiles a little when he said that. "You remembered."

"Mhm." Dee nodded.

"Well, yeah. I don't exactly have the chance of getting in if I keep doing," Remus gestured to himself. "this. So, I'm gonna forgive you. You don't deserve it frankly, cause I know you've said even worse stuff about me in the past, I just never said anything. But, Patton is certain that if I act all nice and stuff like this, then I'll have an easier time getting in. So, it's fine. I forgive you and everything."

"Oh. Well, okay. So, we're cool?" Dee looked a little dumbfounded. Remus wished he could take a picture.

"Yeah sure." Remus shrugged.

If you asked Remus why he lied to Dee he wouldn't be able to give you an answer. He could say that he didn't lie, but he had. There was no talk with Patton about being nice. The two did talk about college because Patton has an insufferable habit of helping people, but Patton had never mentioned Remus forgiving Dee. So, why would he say that? Simply put, Remus doesn't know. He doesn't know why he forgave Dee for saying those things. He's sure he shouldn't have, that Dee didn't truly care and forgiving him would be a mistake.

Then he saw Dee's face. He had just looked so disappointed. Though, not in Remus. Remus really didn't know why that struck him so hard, but he forgave the boy and moved on. Letting it go. Why he lied and said Patton told him too? Well, a boy must keep up his reputation.

Taglist: 

@tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors@maddarc@pheonix-inside-reblogs@thisismysanderssidesblog@almost-all-my-ships-are-gay@mostpeopleannoyme@the-smol-est@i-sexually-identify-as-a-mistake@nadja-chamack16@too-bi-too-function@rainbowbowtie@mistypelt1234@tricksterangel25@authorized-trash@echocw

[chwetuan]

coffee bean - ten x reader (a, f)

Coffee Bean: In which Ten turns your lonely life into something so much sweeter - like the taste of coffee and cream that lingers on his lips. college!au + exchangestudent!ten.

+ wc: 3.2k

+ genre: soft angst, fluff

+ song pairing: imported - jessie reyez ft 6lack

+ a/n: this fic is my baby. a few months ago when my writer’s block was intense, this was all i could work on. overtime, i went back to it whenever i felt my inspiration lacking. i hope you can feel my emotion through it, and above all, i hope you like it <3 - Z

You don’t think he meant to spill coffee on you. At least, you desperately hope not, because he was — honestly, to whatever higher power there was — the most beautiful human being you’d encountered in the mere two hours you’d been awake.

It’s shameful, how easily you can become infatuated with a stranger. You figure it’s all the books you read, all the stories about love at first sight and meeting “the one” — your inherent hopeless romanticism.

The reaction is delayed. You’re slow in plucking the napkins out of his hand and pressing them against the now ruined fabric of your shirt.

“Oh, my god - I’m so sorry. I’m sorry-“

He’s rushing to speak and stuttering an apology, awkwardly, as he picks the coffee cup off of the ground. His eyes are darting around your face, flicking downwards to the stain and the movements of your hand. 

If it were anyone else, you wouldn’t be concerned about the the dryness of your lips or the pimple on your forehead. But, he’s cute, sloping nose and blonde-haired glory kind of cute.

“It’s fine. I don’t like shirts anyways.”

The words fly out of of your mouth faster than your mind can process them.

You want to facepalm yourself. You almost go to do it, but then you remember that there’s a pimple on your forehead and your hand is kinda sticky from the dried coffee.

“I mean, I like shirts, not just this shirt. I know I bought the shirt but it’s not my favorite or anything, you know? So it’s fine.”

The recovery is hardly smooth.

He smiles, and his eyes crinkle into little crescents, half-moons so beautiful you forget it’s broad daylight.

“I mean, the shirt is kinda cool, so I’m sorry about the coffee thing.”

“It’s just a white shirt. I can buy a 5 pack of Hanes shirts for like 6 bucks.” You take the empty coffee cup from his hand, stuffing the used napkins into it and shoving it in your backpack, mentally noting to throw it away later.

“I know, but you look cool in it.”

The more he talks, the more you pick up on an accent. Your geography is shit, and you can’t really guess where it’s from, but he’s definitely not from around here, you’d know if he was. I mean, you knew he wasn’t from the start, being that cute and that well-dressed — not a chance.

“So, what’s your name?”

“5 times 2.”

“Ten?”

“Ten.”

“Cool.”

~~~

The next time you run into Ten, it’s in the campus library. You look much different than you did on the day he spilled coffee on you. Instead of a white t-shirt and pair of jeans, you’re dressed in a bulky cardigan and a pair of leggings that scream cold weather with a chance of rain.

You take the gently-used book from his grasp.

“Ten.”

“T-shirt girl.”

The corner of your mouth tilts into something similar to a smile as you add the name of the book to his account. The edges are frayed, and the cover is worn. It’s called “The Vision of Modern Dance”, and on the cover is some woman frolicking. That’s the only way you can describe it. The program takes long to boot up, because the operating system is old as hell and the university hasn’t upgraded the library’s electronics since the early 2000s. 

You wonder if you could ever be that graceful frolicking across a stage.

“Modern dance, huh.” You stall.

You wish the computer was modern. “Yeah. Never saw you as the librarian type, but somehow it’s very fitting.”

“Thanks.”

“Yeah, no problem.”

You hand the book over to him after a few minutes of slightly awkward silence.

“It’s yours for two weeks.”

He has a crossbody bag slung over his shoulder, it’s worn like the book he holds and he smiles as he puts it in his bag.

“See you in two weeks.”

~~~

You bump into Ten before the two weeks. To be precise, it’s a week later, on a boring Friday night outside of a convenience store about a block away from campus.

“T-shirt girl.”

It’s an odd way to continue addressing someone, but it still makes you smile.

“Ten. Have you forgotten my name?”

In the glow of the street light, his eyes twinkle and you can see the red color that’s settled on his cheeks. Maybe it’s the night air. He shakes his head.

“Beer?”

It’s only then that you notice the six-pack he’s holding, glass bottles clinking as he sets the case on the table in front of you.

“Okay.”

He nods and sits across from you, handing over a bottle and watching you open it on the edge of the table. It’s the cheap kind — the kind that reminds you of your teenage years, when you were less broke than you are now and much more stubborn.

“How’s your dance book?”

“Boring. Kinda good, but mostly boring.” He takes a sip. “What are you studying?”

Psychology.”

His brows raise momentarily. “Cool.”

“Thanks.”

He shrugs and it’s quiet again. It isn’t awkward, but you’re trying so hard not to stare at him and to stop yourself from grimacing as you sip the beer. It really does remind you of your teenage years.

The night air is chilly. You can hear the sounds of people talking and music playing faintly coming from inside the store. The sky is clear, because you’re nowhere near the city, and you can see the stars and the half-moon that remind you of his eyes.

You break the silence. “Where are you from?”

“All over.”

“Elaborate.”

“Well, Thailand.” He pauses, sipping again and leaning back in his seat. “But also Korea and China, for a bit.”

“How’d you end up here?”

He runs his fingers through his hair. It’s grown a bit since you first met him. The blonde is fading, melting into the color of honey, and his roots have started to grow out.

“I felt like I needed to push myself more. Be on my own. I won a few competitions back home-“

“Which home?”

He laughs, airy and mysterious like the person he is.

“All.”

You nod, sipping from the nearly empty bottle.

“It felt like everyone knew me. I couldn’t tell if the people around me wanted to be there because of me, or because of the attention. So, I left.”

“Good.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah, I mean,” You start, sitting up a little straighter. “My home life is pretty shit. I don’t go home during holidays and I don’t talk to my parents. My younger sister does good for herself, and it isn’t her fault everyone uses her and her money. I’ve tried to tell her that they are, but we always end up fighting. She doesn’t listen. I tried to tell her to leave. She’s young, and she’s more stubborn than I was. My family hates me for it. I wish she would leave, though.”

“You’re a good person.”

“Aren’t we all, at first?”

“We are. But not all of us say that way.”

“You’re right.”

“Beer?” He asks again, and the night continues on like that.

~~~

At the two week mark, Ten’s back in the library.

He’s wearing a university hoodie - the one that everyone buys during freshman year. Mid-terms are approaching, and the signs are seen on his face. He looks tired, bags under his eyes and all, but he still smiles that smile that could make anyone do anything.

“Hey, Ten.”

He nods in greeting, fishing into his shoulder bag and taking the book out. He’s playing with the rings on his fingers. You’ve counted four, three silver and one gold. 

He’s looking at you like he wants to say something, and you know he does, because you’re a psychology major and while you may not be good with words, his body language says it all.

Whatever he wants to say is left unsaid. You don’t push and he leaves with a polite thank you and a shy smile.

~~~

It’s your birthday.

It’s your birthday and you’re crying in the bathroom.

Your shift ended four and a half minutes ago, but the tears keep falling.

No one calls you. Not even your sister.

You’re reminded of how lonely you are — classes all week, working in between, and nothing but the books to keep you company.

You wipe your tears and take deep breaths, and you feel stupid. You feel like your teenage self, and no one should feel like her, ever.

You feel like she’s watching you, with a sad smile on her face. She wants to reach out to you and hug you, tell you that she’s sorry and that it’s okay, because she knows how you feel and that no one has ever done that for her.

No one knows you better than yourself.

Eventually, you make your way out of the bathroom, head down watching your feet as you leave the library.

You’re only a few steps out of the exit when you bump into someone. You’re about to rush a sorry, but the person speaks before you do.

“We keep meeting like this.”

You freeze. It’s his voice and you freeze.

You don’t want to talk. Your throat is hoarse from silent crying and you don’t trust your voice. You look up briefly, giving what you hope is a smile. To Ten, it’s the saddest attempt he’s ever seen and he feels his heart sinking.

“Why are you crying?”

His reaction is instantaneous — a series of actions so smooth, you’d figure he’d done this a million times. He cups your face and wipes your tears with mittened fingertips. “Why are you crying?” He asks again.

He sounds hurt. He sounds like he just witnessed someone kick an innocent puppy, or a child who dropped their ice cream. He sounds that way because he’s a good person and he doesn’t want you to cry.

“You’re a good person, Ten.” Your voice cracks and you pull his hands away from your face, holding onto him and trying to calm yourself down.

“Please tell me why you’re crying.”

It’s almost like he’s pleading.

In the moment, it doesn’t occur to you that you hardly know this man.

“No reason. It’s okay-“

“People don’t cry for no reason.”

“Ten-“

“Where’s your coat? You don’t even have on a coat.” He begins fussing over you, because he doesn’t know what else to do. He’s never seen you like this before and it’s bothering him. You’re the closest thing he has to a friend in this unfamiliar town, even with your limited number of interactions.

It doesn’t occur to you that Ten is lonely, too.

He pulls you close to him and brushes stray hairs out of your face and he keeps rambling.

“You don’t cry for no reason. And you’re a psychology major so you definitely know that people don’t cry for no reason. Even if it’s for some underlying reason that doesn’t make itself obvious at first. And I’ve never seen you cry. You didn’t even cry when I spilled hot coffee on you. And it was hot.”

You push feebly at his chest. There’s no real effort because he’s warm, and no one has held you with such care in your entire life.

His fussing dwindles into quiet mumbling as your crying dies down.

~~~

Ten takes you to the 24-hour diner a few minutes away from campus.

He walks you to his car, a black sedan with leather seats that smell like vanilla and is filled with empty coffee cups and cd covers piled in the back.

Before you walk into the diner, he forces you into a hoodie, because, you don’t even have on a coat and it’s freezing outside.

He slides it over your head. “It’s clean, I promise.”

It’s the same university hoodie from a few weeks ago. It smells like soap and laundry detergent.

You sit at a booth in the far corner. Right next to a window. He sits across from you and orders your pancakes, and you watch as his earrings twinkle in the terrible lighting.

You can just barely make out your reflection in the window. You see your red nose and puffy eyes and fiddle with the hair tie around your wrist.

Like shit. You look like absolute shit. But you haven’t felt this shitty in awhile.

Ten stays silent. He watches you with his head resting in his palm. He nudges the warm drink towards you.

The smell of coffee is strong as you wrap your fingers around the mug, warmth settling into your fingertips.

“It’s my birthday.”

He nods.

“It made me realize that I’m lonely.”

Silence settles between you too as you focus on the coffee in front of you. You take a sip, the bitter liquid burning your tongue.

“I’m sorry.” You’ve heard that line more than once, sitting in this exact same diner. It’s never been sincere. 

He’s being genuine— you know he is. He isn’t like the other guys that have taken you to this diner; The ones who don’t care about anything other than getting you in their beds, meddling their way into your heart and splitting it open when they leave.

“You don’t need to be.”

He reaches for your hand, running his thumb over chipped nail polish and the lines of your palm.

“Someone should,” He starts. “Someone should be sorry that a girl like you is lonely and hurting.”

You eat your pancakes in silence.

~~~

After that night, Ten, for lack of a better description, doesn’t leave you alone.

It’s not unwelcome — not in the slightest. A little overwhelming at times, because you’re not used to having someone look after you the way he does. He makes you nervous at times, with his attention to detail and the way that nothing ever slips past him.

Most nights, he meets you after your shift at the library is over, coffee cup in hand and the smell lingering on him. He walks you to your apartment and tells you about his day; the classes he’s taught, the songs he’s danced to. Some nights, you go to the diner. Others, you take his car and drive to the edge of town, watching the faraway city under starlight as soft music plays from his speaker.

The best nights are when he lets you come back to the practice room with him, where you sit on a pile of makeshift blankets and pillows in the corner and watch him with fascination until your eyes grow tired.

Some days, he brings takeout to your apartment, and you sit and talk until the sun goes down. He tells you about Thailand and all the places he’s been. Other days, you wander into the heart of town during markets and thrift sales.

The best days are when you curl up on the couch of his apartment, feet in his lap and that stupid freshman hoodie on as you watch reruns of old movies and tv shows.

And little by little, you stop feeling lonely.

~~~

Fall blends into winter, leaves no longer cover the limbs of trees, and somewhere along the lines, you feel a shift in your feelings. It’s hardly anything big, hardly anything obvious, but it’s just enough for you to know that something is different.

It’s small - the way you brush his bangs from his eyes, tuck the tags of his shirts in, and hug him a little longer than usual.

You don’t think he notices, and if he does, he refrains from bringing it up. You figure that it’s for the best; keeping the words unsaid like it’s your little secret.

It’s another one of those days where you’re cooped up in his apartment. But something is not right. He’s quieter than usual, knees pulled up to his chest as he stares at the tv screen. He’s not really paying attention, the way his gaze seems kind of far off.

“Hey.” You call softly, voice only a whisper above the movie. You’re only half an hour in, and at this point, it’s just become background noise while you stare at his profile in the dim lighting of the room.

He hums in response, turning to face you and stretching his legs.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah.” He nods, eyes tired and a slow smile coming to his lips. “I’m okay.”

“Okay.”

And the night goes on like that.

~~~

Ten wonders if lying is for the better when feelings are involved.

He isn’t lying, not necessarily. He is okay — he’s just confused. Conflicted.

He wants to tell you how he feels, but he’s scared. He’s scared of losing the security you guys have built around each other.

But it drives him crazy, little by little.

The way your hug him a little longer, the way you brush his hair out of his eyes.

~~~

It happens suddenly.

“Are you happy?” He questions one afternoon, eyes trained on your silhouette as you stare out the window of his apartment.

You don’t answer immediately, letting the question settle in the silence between you.

The answer scares you, because you are happy, and it’s been so long since you were.

The reason behind that scares you even more, because you’re happiest when you’re with him.

When the smell of coffee lingers in his apartment, when he makes you laugh so hard that tears prick the corners of your eyes.

When he absently brushes the hair from your face, when he reaches for your hand, or when he smiles at you with that smile that feels like it’s only for you.

You lose yourself in your thoughts, snapping out of it when you feel Ten’s palm gently, almost hesitantly, rest on the small of your back.

“You make me happy.” You mumble - words like a whisper, a secret you’ve never told.

The answer is simple enough, if you remove the extras and think about the way he makes your heart race, or the way you look for him when your world turns blue and grey.

The answer has always been simple. The answer has been four little letters etched onto the canvas of your heart. Four little letters you thought you’d never find — in yourself or in anyone else.

Four little letters.

In that moment, when you turn to face him, eyes finding his own and heart beating fast, you make the decision.

Your hands reach for his shirt, tugging him closer to you.

L.

They travel across the planes of his chest, and find each other at the nape of his neck. He wouldn’t have stopped you, even if he needed to.

O.

His arms wrap around you, warmth engulfing your bodies as his eyes find your own. He sees the universe inside of them.

V.

You kiss him, letting your lips tell him all of your secrets and all things unsaid.

E.

~~~

He’s a fool, he thinks, to have fallen so quickly in only a few months.

But, he knows. He knows that when the spring melts the ice on the river, winter fading into a distant memory while the world reverts to its color, he knows that together, you’ll bloom like the flowers around him.

You find those four little words in each other, and the rest turns into a memory, like the fall before winter.

And all that’s left is you and him, and the smell of coffee in the morning.

.

.

.