#as we go further into the night the posts get worse and the vibes more rotten. the post quality inspectors (me myself and also i) get sloppy

[bredforloyalty]

truly hate to say it but i think noel fucked russell brand

[sk3tch404]

Yandere: I like you

Reader: Like as in, like like you?

How yandere Idv boys would react to being asked if they 'like like' you after confessing (Survs + Hunters)

Characters: Eli, Norton, Naib, William, Ganji, Kevin, Andrew, Luca, Antonio, Wu Chang, Joseph, and Jack

A/n: Help I stayed up all night again and I gotta reread this when I wake up at 8 PM later (It's literally 9:05 in the morning rn bruh)

Okay uhh just post this for shits n giggles hehe

Eli

Um, I guess? Lol

"... Yes. I 'like like' you."

He says it in the most serious tone ever. He does laugh a little afterwards though so 👌

Brooke cocked her head to the side and quickly looked back at Eli for confirmation for what you just said. His face was dead on in your direction, so she just took it as, "Go with the flow."

Norton

"No? I love you."

Would get emotional because he thinks you're gonna friendzone him, or worse, reject him.

Once you explain that you're not that great at wording and you just wanted to accentuate what your saying into shorter terms, Norton finally understands that you're not directly telling him you dont share the same feelings.

He though you were making fun of his confession for a bit a first

"So, do you, 'like like' me too?"

Naib

Um, I think so?

"I do like you Y/n, but it's far greater than 'like like'."

He also thinks you're gonna friendzone him.

He tries not to question you as this is a serious moment and he doesn't want it to be more awkward as it already is.

But he caves and asks you what you mean by 'like like'. You explained it to him and Naib thought it was one of the most dumbest ways you could try to say attracted.

"Why couldn't you have said romantically attracted?"

"Well, because, uhhh idk cause it was easier."

"Omfg..."

He still loves you, he just looks at you as a bit dumber than he thought (Not like that changes his feelings about you. Naib loves that you're a bit aloof and will cherish you everyday of his life no matter what)

William

"Yes! I do 'like like' you!"

Got the memo very quickly. 1 shared braincell moment.

Likes how you two get along so well! He thinks that you basically said that you liked him as much as he likes you, so strap in and hold on bc you're in for one hell of a ride.

Ganji

... He doesn't understand

"Like like? Is this a joke I haven't been told of???"

You explain it to him and he's greatly relived. He really thought he embarrassed himself there and lost the chance with you forever.

He's used to your way of talking, but he just got so nervous while confessing that he just freaked. Ganji's mind ran through so many scenarios and mishaps when you said that.

"Oh *ahem* then, I guess I do 'like like' you..." (He's blushing and looking away shyly as we speak >\\\<)

Kevin

Yes yes yes yes yes

"I like like like like you!"

Very much same energy given. Kevin loses his flirty persona and gives you genuine reactions.

Dw he's still a smooooth cowboy; All he wants to do is to show you the true authentic side of himself before you go on thinking he's just trying to hit on you even harder.

"I truly do love you Y/n. You're the only one I want. I love love love love looooooveeee you!"

Andrew

Did he say something wrong? Oh no he just blew it. He knew he shouldn't have confessed to you today. You're trying to investigate him further so you can really make fun of his waste of an attempt later.

"... I'm sorry, I don't think we should speak right now..."

You're gonna have to tackle him to stop him from running away.

You explain to him through his nervous babbling. Once he's got it, Andrew is gonna just be sitting there a bit dumbfounded.

"Oh... I'm sorry for misunderstanding you. Please forgive me."

You're the only one he really trusts and ultimately loves, please dont hate him from now on.

Luca

Yes

"I like like you!"

He answers you how you expect him to. Straight to the point and unfiltered as per usual.

Luca is so happy you understand him and his vibes! He knows you're only making sure, so he's gonna give you exactly what you want! Just give yourself something back in return!

Antonio

Erm, sure why not

"Yes... of course I do."

He thinks you're so cute when you're aloof. Your questioning makes him want you even more.

Antonio wants to lure you to him as to gain your trust. He doesn't need anymore running from you.

Be careful if you do try to turn the other way, he's quicker than you think.

"Symphonies can't compare to your melodies..."

Wu Chang

Xie: uhhhh, yeah, we do like you a lot :)

Fan: We love you? What is this 'like like' nonsense???

Xie hits Fan as a signal to follow his lead. Xie tries to lure you in by being compliant and nice just like Antonio.

Fan likes you being a bit of an airhead, but sometimes during serious moments like these, his patience gets quite low.

"Fan, don't you 'like like' Y/n too?"

"Tch, yes. I do 'like like' Y/n."

"I'm glad that's settled. Now Y/n, I wonder if you 'like like' us?"

Joseph

Perhaps

"If that's what you want to see it as, then I guess I can say I 'like like' you."

He loves how you make up these funny little terms. It's interesting.

You bring so much light and color into this world. How could he let you slip away now that he has you in his grip?

"We're pass the point of no return Y/n. How will you proceed Y/n?"

Jack

Okay lol

"*laughs* Of course not. I'm infatuated in you darling."

Of course he likes you. He wouldn't be confessing his love and his 'deepest darkest' secret to you if he didn't.

You entertain him to no end. Jack enjoys your way of talking. It really spices up your conversations.

It also helps you evade death.

"Can't you say the same for me Y/n?" (Say yes or else :D)

[billthedrake]

BIG DADDY (PART EIGHT)

It was a novel, fun vibe between me and my high school buddy Kevin. McConnell had flown down for a long New Year's weekend in Austin.

"Had to get out of the fucking cold," he growled in his Jersey accent when he called to tell me he was coming down. He asked if I wanted to come to the city and stay over for an old fashioned guy's weekend. I hesitated, because Cheryl was over 8 months along in her pregnancy, but she insisted I go have some fun.

Now that I was alone with Kevin in his hotel room, I was glad for guy's night in the city. There was still a naughty thrill to fooling around with my good friend, and I knew Kevin felt that times five.

"Can't believe I just got Brennan-fucked," he grinned, pleased with his new coined term as he lay back on the bad, watching my naked body as I rejoined him in the bed after taking a post-fuck piss. I half expected things would be weird between us now, but we just rode the thrill.

"You seemed to like it," I said as I slid back under the sheets, cozying up to Kevin's gym-toned body. Cocky, maybe, but also checking in with my buddy.

"I did," he said thoughtfully. "I tried bottoming a couple of times wasn't crazy about it. Leave it to Big Man Nick to make me love it."

"We shoulda done this back in high school," I said with a hearty laugh.

"Damn, man," Kevin sighed. I could tell he was battling some emotions, and I felt a little bad for teasing him. We kissed some, and I enjoyed feeling the cum-covered, sweaty torso of my friend as he felt up my muscle, before reaching down to grope my cock. "You think you got another in you, Brennan?" he asked, clearly getting worked up again.

"Like a kid with a new toy, huh?" I laughed.

"Pretty much, man... you got a beautiful cock, Nick."

I felt that said dick firm up to steel hardness in his grip. "You keep that up, buddy, and the second round is gonna come sooner rather than later."

Kevin grinned and let go of my dick, instead wrapping his arms around my waist and hoisting my body up onto his gym-toned body.

"Ooof, you got some strength buddy," I laughed.

My friend bit his lips playfully and nodded. "You don't know how many times I dreamed of us in this position back in high school."

"You crushing out on me, Big Guy?" I said, feeling nervous about what his answer would be.

"Hell yeah, I am Brennan," Kevin replied. "But it's cool. I know where I stand. I'm not gonna make demands on ya, ever, bud." He looked up in my eyes and I could feel his body relax, except for his cock which throbbed against my own crotch. "Listen, I've been holding out. The reason I'm down here is to scope out a place to live."

"For real?" I asked. It was the last thing I expected.

"For real," he said. "God Nick, you didn't tell me Austin was Jersey expensive," he laughed. "Even worse, maybe."

"It's a little better further out," I explained.

"Fuck that," Kevin said. "I've had my life on hold for too long living someplace I didn't want to live." My buddy seemed to be getting more contemplative. "I need something different. Dad was pissed when I told him I was quitting the business, but he'll get over it."

"Damn, McConnell," I hissed. "You really are moving."

"Oh yeah," he said. "I'm gonna fuck my way through all the Texas cowboys I can score. Make up for lost time."

"It's not really cowboy country here," I started to say.

"Don't spoil my fantasy," Kevin winked. "And cowboy or not, they sure grow 'em big down here."

I didn't have any objection there.

Kevin's hands were caressing my sides and his legs were spreading, letting me scoot in between them.

"You gonna fuck me again, Brennan?" he asked.

I nodded, getting horny again for sure. "Yeah, McConnell, I'm gonna fuck you again."

***

Come January Cheryl gave birth to our daughter. Iris Jessica Brennan. A healthy and happy baby. I was over the moon, and so proud of my wife for how great a mother she was.

I'd negotiated paternity time with Big Daddy when he promoted me to CFO. Mark ribbed me like hell for taking it, and truth was I still went in once a week and checked emails to delegate stuff that needed delegating. But R.C. Pool Supply would be fine, and some things were more important.

Unlike the Bryant men, I did my best to help out with everything. Not only the Dad stuff of setting up the nursery and babyproofing the hell out of our place, but waking up in the night to feed the baby, or cooking for Cheryl when she was too exhausted. I was glad to be there for both of them those three months.

But holy hell, those first months made the pregnancy dry spell of our sex life pale in comparison. Cheryl still wasn't ready for vaginal sex and her postpartum hormones made sure she wasn't up for anything else either.

"Sorry honey," she apologized one night as I held Iris as we sat on the couch. "I know we haven't had sex in a while... I'll make it up to you, promise."

I missed it, missed it a lot, but my schedule usually meant I could go over to Randy Slocum's before he went on shift. Sometimes it was a quick BJ stop while I ran errands, but often I'd have that cop strip down for a longer session in his bed. Maybe because I wasn't fucking Cheryl, I liked to do Officer Slocum nice and slow, missionary, lots of making out before I put my legs on my shoulders and fucked that rack of Texas beef.

I was even getting more romantic with Dan Bryant on our three-times a week gym meet ups. Forgoing the shower quickies and settling for some time in the back seat of his SUV.

"I remember what it's like with a newborn," my brother in law chuckled after he came up from a particularly intense blowjob, my cum deep in his stomach. "You doing OK, Nick?"

"Better now," I smiled. "You're the best, kid," I said in my best bedroom voice before leaning in to kiss Dan softly.

The ex-football player got a goofy, shy smile and said softly. "I just like making you feel good... after all you've done for me."

My dick stayed hard and twitched again as he said that. I don't know that I did anything for Dan other than fuck him. And be his friend. But I ran my hands up along his business casual polo shirt, feeling the hard muscle beneath, and some of that natural padding.

We kissed again, a little more excitedly.

"You gotta get back to the office?" I asked him, now eager to get off a second time. Like I say, I'd been pretty backed up.

Dan shook his head and smiled, those baby blues drawing me into another kiss.

There, in the back of his SUV, I took my time. Rimming Dan's hot, muscular ass, then giving an extra dose of spit on his pucker. That would be all the lube we'd get, but it did the trick. Dan Bryant was hungry for dick and he took me with some gentle coaxing. Pretty soon I was nailing him hard and fucking a load out of his balls.

"God, Nick!" he grunted as he did his best to catch his sperm in his hand. I gripped his hips tight and pounded my seed into him. He'd be going back to the office good and wet down there, for sure.

I was in a real fucking good mood as we uncoupled and wiped off with some spare napkins from the glove compartment before getting dressed again.

"So Nick..." Dan said, almost nervous to bring it up. "Courtney's baby... it's yours isn't it?"

Dan's wife was five months along now and showing. I promised Court I wouldn't tell Dan, but I also didn't want to lie to my brother-in-law and buddy. "What do you want me to say, Dan?" I replied.

He nodded. "If it's gonna be anyone else, I'm glad you're the father," he said softly, blushing as he admitted it.

"You're the father, buddy," I tried to assure him. "No matter whose seed it is."

He flashed me a game smile, like he was trying to convince himself of that. Then he shrugged. "I guess I'm not man enough for Courtney."

I could read all of his self doubts and troubles and anxieties in that moment. Never living up to Big Daddy. Never being honest with himself. He was trying to be honest now.

I patted him on the shoulder, squeezing that bulk affectionately. "You're all man, Dan. You just happen to like dick," I explained.

That made my brother-in-law smile, a real smile.

"But can I give you a bit of advice?"

"Yeah, Nick," Dan replied with a puppy-dog eagerness.

"Courtney... well, you don't need me to say this, but your wife, she's the kind of woman... well, you need to give her a lot of attention, Dan. Even if you have to think of me when you're fucking her. If you don't, she'll get that attention from other men."

"I can do that, Nick," Dan said, surprisingly chipper to take my advice.

This was a fucked-up family, and I was part of it now.

We'd talk more as we opened up to one another. Over golf games and business trips and guys' weekend getaway to Dallas to see a Rangers series. But that would come later. For now, Dan and I just knew we were solid. Somehow, Courtney's pregnancy had brought us closer. No matter how much a heel I'd been, Dan loved me. And in my own way, I loved him, too.

***

Cheryl wasn't kidding. She made things up to me. I'd already started back at work when her libido came roaring back. We had morning sex, and I got a welcome home blowjob, and after putting Iris to bed at night, we fucked again. My balls were well drained, and there was no more Randy Slocum time. I even apologized to Dan, but he got it.

"That's cool, Nick. I've been taking your advice... with Courtney. We're kind of having our second honeymoon, even," he said to me as we got changed from our lunchtime gym workout.

I slapped his back. "Glad to hear, buddy."

But the man most thrilled about Cheryl was Big Daddy. He came over almost every night. Presumably to see his granddaughter, but he never left without fucking Cheryl, or at least getting head from her.

We started fucking her together. Me and Mark, side by side, in the bed, taking turns. It was incredible. Watching his big beefy body in full rut, oversized and overpowering his petite daughter, making her orgasm. Then feeling his hands on my more athletic build as I fucked on his father cum. Then kissing both my wife and father-in-law in succession.

As hot as it all was, it made Cheryl happy. My nympho wife had returned and she had both the loves of her lives to keep her satisfied.

I gave them a night together and went over to Dan's for some brother-in-law time. Courntey was over at Mrs. Bryant's, and Dan and I made the most of it. We made out like teenagers in his man cave and slowly stripped down.

"God you have an incredible body, Nick," Dan hissed. "I... I think about it when I fuck Courtney." Then he looked up at my with a lewd grin. "Sometimes I fuck her like you fuck... she loves that."

"I bet she does, buddy," I growled, taking the initiative to pounce on his beefy body and wrestle him to take the top position. Dan was rock hard beneath me. By the time I was fingering his pucker, I felt any resistance melt. "You gonna make me proud, brother?" I teased. "Gonna be a good cunt for me?"

"I'm your cunt, Nick," Dan answered in a heartbeat. "Anytime you need."

I pushed my dick in and we both let out a heavy grunt.

***

I knocked on Mark Bryant's office door. It had been a half hour since the receptionist had gone in for a "private meeting" to take care of my father-in-law's needs. It was my turn for a private meeting.

"Come in," he said, but I was already stepping inside and shutting the door behind me.

"Brennan!" he greeted me. "How's everything going?"

"Good, Mark," I said, plopping myself in one of the leather-upholstered chairs.

He gave me a look. He knew something was up. "Here for business?" he asked.

"Not exactly," I said. "I told Cheryl, but I wanted to make sure you knew. Whenever we have another baby, there's gonna be a paternity test. And I better be the father."

That caught Big Daddy off guard but he gave me his best poker face. "Or else?"

I laid down my royal flush. "Or else I'm making public another paternity test."

That got him mad. Face beet red mad. "What the hell... you blackmailing me, punk?"

I shrugged, not letting his harsh voice get to me. "I call it insurance. You may run things around here, sir, but my home is my castle and I run it. Got it? "

He grinned at my audacity. "Not a lot of men talk to me that way, boy."

"I'm not a lot of men," I replied. "I honestly don't care what you think of me... but I need to know... we got an understanding?"

Big Daddy nodded, and his flush anger turned to a knowing grin. "I'm just glad you're on my team, Brennan. You got some killer instincts."

I smiled and stood up. "Hope to see you this evening, sir. Cheryl's usually up the wall in heat by 5, so maybe if you could leave a little early today."

I could tell that turned the big man on. "Anything for my princess," he growled.

***

I made sure Cheryl was on the pill. I monitored it, and she knew, making sure to take one in front of me from time to time. I think she was scared I'd mess up things for her and Mark. We talked about having another child in three years' time. I wanted Iris to have a younger sibling, but with enough years spacing out our kids so it didn't seem like a frickin' day care around the house.

So I wasn't concerned when I started working later hours. I'd been stepping into the CFO role at the office and while I enjoyed the responsibility and the pay, I was getting home around 8 at night more and more. Big Daddy would already be gone and I'd have a nice wet creampie to eat out of my wife's snatch, while she clawed gently at my hair.

"Yes, Nick, oh yes, babe! Oh GOD!" she'd cry as I'd get her to cum with my tongue. There were some real advantages to having a nympho wife.

****

Dan was traveling on a couple of sales call, so I was spending my lunch time in that favorite abandoned parking lot. It was winter, a real winter week, even in Texas and I leaned back in the driver's seat while Officer Slocum blew me.

It had been too long, and I'd forgotten how hot he looked in full uniform, his cap resting on the dashboard. I gripped the nape of his neck and thrust up into his throat. God help me, the cop knew how to take it.

I was getting turned on so I just went for it, fucking Slocum's throat till I was blasting off.

Randy slurped my prick as he pulled off, sucking off the mucus-y spit and sperm and cleaning me off before giving it a final kiss. He was flushed from excitement when he leaned up. "That was hot, Mr. Nick," he grinned. "Nice." He was a couple years older now than when I first got a blow job off him, and he had aged out of those rookie looks, but still looked young and beefy and fuckable. He pulled a napkin out of my glove compartment and wiped the excess spit from his chin and lips before putting his cap back on.

"I guess I should tell you, Mr. Nick... this will be the last time for us."

God help me, Randy Slocum has gotten some self respect, I thought. "That's cool, Randy," I said, as I wiped off my prick and tucked it back in. "If you ever change your mind..." I offered. Something about getting a cop who can take a throat fuck had me not wanting to stop with Slocum cold turkey.

He grinned. "It's not that, sir... It's just, Jess and I are moving to Austin. I lined up a job with the PD there."

It actually took me a second to put two and two together. Maybe because it never occurred to me that Kevin McConnell was such a sly player. Good for my buddy. I reached over and squeezed that muscle through his uniform shirt. "Best of luck, Officer. Just one last request..."

"What is it, Mr. Nick?" Slocum asked.

I grinned. "Just treat my buddy well," I said. "He deserves a little extra service."

Randy laughed, amused I'd figured it out. "Can do, Mr. Nick."

[kitkatnerds3]

BSD S5 EP 9

I have not finished the episode yet but I've just gotten to the Fukufuku backstory (specifically the part where they just met and its night and they're lying on the floor together) and, these two are fucking dark timeline Renga from sk8! 'The way of the sword is enjoyable!' and 'I'm going to master the sword alongside you' vs 'skating is fun!' and 'I want to skate with you infinitely' I swear Fukuchi even did the same hand movement that Reki did at some point. Energetic sunshine (at least at the moment) x calm and collected. I am getting such strong Renga vibes from that scene and it's driving me insane.

OK I JUST WATCHED TWO (2) SECONDS FURTHER AND NOW WE'RE IN A FUCKING SHOJO ANIME! BONES LOVES OLD MAN YAOI SO MUCH! THIS IS SO GAY! WHY ARE THERE SO MANY CHERRY BLOSSOMS!!? A CHERRY BLOSSOM PETAL IN THE SHAPE OF A HEART JUST FELL INTO FUKUZAWAS SAKE(?) AND THEN BROKE INTO TWO. THEY'RE NOT EVEN BEING SUBTLE WITH THE 'THIS (ROMANTIC) RELATIONSHIP IS ABOUT TO GO O SHIT' -NESS

DONT DO SYMBOLISM WITH THE FUCKING BIRDS YOU DUMB SHOW! I SEE WHAT YOU'RE FUCKING DOING! For context, they were having a conversation but the focus was on these two egrets? herons? anyways, and then one of them just flew off when Fukuchi said that he was gonna be promoted and sent to the battlefield , which is what separated these two. I'm going to die, I'm not entirely sure why but I am. /pos

Fuck it, I'm committing to the live blog. enjoy seeing my live uncut reactions folks!

The animation is so pretty bro, bones adores their old man yaoi.

Ok, old man yaoi backstory is over , and before I move on to the next thing I just wanna say, young Fukuzawa was so fucking cute! He was an old man even when he was a baby! he was adorable! and honestly so was Fukuchi! I'm very sad that he became the way he is now, war really does stuff to people, huh?

Ok I'm a little bit confused, I didn't realize that he had told that United Nations guy the half-truth. But whatever, that's on me I guess.

OK! JESUS FUCK THE MORE I HERE ABOUT THE WAR THE WORSE IT GETS. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE SOLDIERS HAD TO EAT EACHOTHER AND WERE SHOT FOR TRYING TO DESERT! MAYBE I SHOUD HAVE EXPECTED THAT IT IS WAR BUT JESUS CHRIST!

God, Fukufuku are so gay. I know that stabbing someone isn't exactly romantic but he Fukuzawa did the thing where you grab onto the other persons clothes and after Fukuchi stabbed him his head ended up resting on his chest. This is PEAK romantic tradgedy.

Teruko, I love you. She looks so pretty and she is so hecking smart and I just adore her. She let Atsushi go! Woohoo!! Also, Atsushi's hallucinations are really coming in full force, huh? He is seeing so many people.

Dazai and Sigma are so silly, I love them, Dazai stop flirting for two fucking seconds challenge. Also, it's fun to hear that Dazai is screwing around with Sigma while thinking of Kunikida! Truly every ship is being fed this season! Except sskk, but we did get Aku in Atsushi's hallucinations doing a thing so that's kinda a win for the gays!

Wow! What a nice elevator! I'm sure nothing bad will happen here!

Oh catgirl, you left us too soon.

I must say, I don't really have much to say on the Meursault section. It was good! The animation was great as it usually is for the Meursault sections, Sigma was so pretty I love him and! Dazai did the thing where he played with Sigma's hair! Woo! Fyodor was his usual level of kinda ugly in anime form, Dazai is showing emotions! more of the sillies, Dazai fucking stood on Sigma, which is delightful, aaaaaaand it's started to flood! Fuck!

Anyways, back to the very start of this episode before I was overcome by the homosexual-ness of Fukufuku, Aya Bram Kunikida and Tanizaki got yoinked! Fuck! I still have a theory that Tanizaki could be doing an illusion and I will make a post about it one day. And also, please excuse me for saying this because while I am still upset about Ranpo being hurt... watching Fukuchi pick him up by the scruff of his neck like a cat was kinda hilarious. Also, Teruko I love you. You're the only hunting dog that heard about Fukuchi's real identity and didn't immediately die. Girlboss fr. Also also, where are Lucy Kyouka and Yosano :D? W-where did they go? Asagiri please I need to see my girls.

And to once again revisit the old gays, Holy Shit that was so gay. Nobody told me that the Fukufuku backstory was a Sports Anime tm that turned into a war drama in the second season! I knew we said they were divorced but I never realized just how married they were before the separation! Wow! Fukuzawa smiled so softly at Fukuchi! They were such sweet kids! Aagh!

This was a good episode! I liked this! Excited for next Wungo Wednesday!

[electricbluebutterflies]

Chris/Melissa + i like myself better when i’m with you.

Post-6B, PG-ish, also on ao3.

The routine doesn’t change. The conversations do.

It has been years since Melissa has had reliable adult companionship – one of the few unfortunate elements of her life that can’t be blamed in some way on her involvement in the supernatural world, though that definitely doesn’t help – and she is inclined, for the moment, to take her current situation for what it is and, well…

She’s probably multiple decades too old to justify attempting a friends-with-benefits situation, but if that’s the easiest way to keep that man in her life, so be it.

He’s around every evening she’s not working, even though most of their coparenting responsibilities are currently elsewhere – most but not all, she reminds herself, they do still have Malia and her rampage through the local community college to keep an eye on – and it’s been different since whatever happened that one night that they don’t talk about, and-

“Why do you do this?” Melissa asks. It’s a Thursday in February, rainy outside, late, one of those nights she knows he’s going to stay but end up on the couch and blame it on weird vibes and-

“Do what, exactly?”

“Keep coming around, keep seeing me even though…”

They have not by any means had anything even close to a define-the-relationship conversation, and she doubts they ever will. Whatever internal damage Chris has that she’s decided she doesn’t want to know any more about than she has to, repression is definitely one of his bigger issues, and-

“I like myself better when I’m with you. Feels less…”

“I’m a distraction,” she interprets.

He crosses the space between them and puts his hands so lightly on her shoulders she could melt. “No. More than that.”

“Then what are we…”

“What do you want me to say? Do you want me to offer you my life? Because if that’s what you want I will-“

Melissa is unable to suppress the urge to say something that never ends anywhere she actually wants to go. “Is that normal for you?”

“Normal within my background, completely.”

He worries her sometimes, she thinks, and she hates that he worries her when she knows how capable he is, and-

“I’m not that kind of woman.”

“I know. That’s why I’m asking permission and not just going ahead and-“

“I don’t know what I want, but I’m not sure…”

“If you want me to leave-“

“I have never wanted you to leave. I know that much.”

She looks up at him and she wonders like she almost never lets herself wonder if maybe this is the start of something more, maybe they domesticate each other, maybe she sets some rules for her sanity but doesn’t try to change him like she usually does when she catches feelings for someone because that never ends well, maybe-

“I don’t want to pressure you into-“

“You could pressure me a little more. Or at least make your desires a little clearer because right now we’re so awkward and I don’t know what’s actually going on and-“

“What do you actually want? Realistic or not, what do you-“

“I want you to stay. Not just tonight but even the nights I’m working, just so someone’s here if something wounded and a species I don’t know about turns up on the porch. I want you to not stop when your hands get on my waist and you act like touching my skin is going to break me, because it won’t, and I want-“

“You realize how easy that all is, don’t you?”

“You have never tried to date as a single parent with multiple children who are as easily amused as they are loyal, and yes I know technically only one of them is actually mine but-“

“I would say all of them count. And I’m well aware what will happen to me if I do anything wrong by you, even or possibly especially by accident. They’re not subtle.”

“Well, you’re still into me even after the first round of threats, that’s further than-“

“Have they… had reason to do this since-“

“No, but I can’t imagine it’s gotten worse than the time with the paintball gun and I have no idea where they even got that, they were thirteen and I’m pretty sure-“

“Paintball gun?”

“You don’t wanna know, and I didn’t actually see it but I did hear three different versions of what happened and the two that should’ve matched didn’t…”

“No, I just had four different species remind me of their powers and how many other connections they have, I’m pretty sure…”

“Sounds relatively approving,” Melissa laughs. “You don’t have any injuries you didn’t bother to tell me about this time, do you?”

“Not even wounded pride.”

“That’s practically permission for a courthouse wedding from them. Not that I-“

“I don’t think I’m that type.”

“Remarriage, or…?”

“Wedding should mean something. Don’t know how normal people do it, but-“

“My first one was I was twenty-one and culturally Catholic so what I wanted was fairly low on the priority list and I don’t think anyone let me pick anything more significant than what color flowers I wanted, so…”

“Good to know. Not now or anytime soon, but-“

“Definitely not anytime soon. I’d like to sleep with you before we even talk about it.”

He’s quiet for almost a moment too long, quiet and still and-

“Understood. And if that… also takes time…”

“I may jump you. You could easily push me off, but-“

“I wouldn’t.”

“Good to know.”

[zmeydeva-arch]

plots please!! please feel free to pick any from my list but off the top of my head you can spin: kell, freydís, kaghan, or adam!

▐ ⊹ ⁺ a little plotting meme ) ACCEPTING!

¹· zoya & kell: starring directly at your grishaverse for him rn i feel like there are 2 routes to take here considering i have a mess of canon verses for zoya within her universe. BUT i think having kell as a little palace instructor given his unique skillset could be an INTERESTING concept or better yet and he could be the zuko to zoya's aang and help her get a better grasp on her corporalki abilities post dragon shenanigans. ROUTE 2 would be more of a ketterdam-flavored situation. not sure how kamerov as an alter ego plays into this verse but if he is doing secret maybe evil illegal stuff for maresh family on the down low i think sapphire is a good person to have in his corner/ NOT THAT SHE WOULD BE SO WILLING!! she has to get something out of it but it compels me somehow

CONVERSELY i decide to flip the script and make zoya a black london antari because why not and i can finally get the corruption arc i always dreamed of out of her. this verse literally is vibes alone right now and i haven't thought about it until this very second but i would be willing to develop it more if it is something that interests you

²· zoya & freydís: you are gonna need to hold my hand i am so scared right now. i know literally nothing about god of war but what i gather is we are heavy on the norse mythology here (again, something else i only have surface level knowledge on ) BUT if there is some sort of way for pantheons to mingle here i have been toying with a slavic myth verse for zoya on the down low. she is champion of veles who is sent to hunt the god perun in somewhat of a rehashing of their timeless war against one another. so oops as a dragon she swallows an aspect of the storm god and gains some of his divinity and memory in the process. so this is kinda similar to having uhh memories that are not their own and having to deal with it they can relate 🤍

of course i am always down for a way to work a character into the grishaverse. obviously the concept of past lives and sainthood is a known convention already. i don't want to presume anything about freydís' status in universe but perhaps skaði was a saint of old once. they could possibly follow a similar path to zoya in terms of reawakening grisha magic prior to the establishment of orders/ when it became corrupted and cut off from its source.

we can also figure out a regular fantasy verse here i have so many Thots i am sure we will stumble on SOMETHING

³· zoya & kaghan: my little web-winged faeries my cinnamon apples. i feel like kaghan could possibly make her worse in this universe and i am 100% here for it. we threaded them a bit but i would be down to develop this concept further in terms of him coming to her aid post her father's death. i also remember me saying i thought it would be interesting if they had been childhood friends in this verse ( so very far back considering how old they both are lol ) but falling out of touch once juris decides to form his own court and essentially go rogue. the ethereal court is very much new amongst the long-standing higher courts which means this war with the spring court will either completely destroy is status and credibility or solidify it as a universal power amongst the high fae. it means a potential powerful ally for kaghan and also i know they would have mad banter am i wrong?

i was gonna suggest i make an ac.otar verse for her but do you really want that? be real with me. you would have to theysplain the universe to me and i'm pretty sure you are so divergent it wouldn't even make sense to bother with it. anyway i just want more kaghan trying to instruct her and give her council in a very volatile time. not sure what the broader implications of allying with the night court would be from a diplomatic standpoint so i would like to hear your take on that! is there gossip? is there oo'ing and ah'ing from the audience or is everyone hardcore judging her right now.

⁴· zoya & adam: witchypoos!! witchypoos!! i honestly can't see zoya working very well in a trc verse but when i figure it out i will let you know. although, so far i am enjoying them in an urban fantasy setting. we don't get to see adam interact with other witches after persephone's death so i think him and zoya forming more of a study group around magic seems NEAT. she could get into harvard i believe in her so consider a la ninth house ( you haven't read it i know but here me out ) they have their own little occult secret society where they probably tamper with dark forces they shouldn't.

they have a writing seminar 5pm but also a seance set for 7pm sometimes you just gotta bring your lavender scented candles with you to class! but for real i like the idea of them being hedge witches while they go to this prestigious university. it is formal education by day informal education by night. how very dark academia of them!

[irishgolfadventure]

A Royal County Day

Today was our first day of golf and what a day it was! RCD lived up to all expectations. The course was very challenging and everything you would expect from a links course of it’s reputation. Some things I found particularly surprised by was how fast and rolling the greens were and how some of the tougher holes had domed shaped greens that gave you very little landing area for your approach shots. The front nine of RCD has had endless articles written about it as being the best nine holes of golf ever designed. I’m not a golf expert but from my point of view it was a beautifully difficult test of golf!!

We had outstanding caddies, Patrick and Lenny. They knew the course well and one was a story teller and the other offered the inside gossip of the club. The course itself had huge heathered mounds that were flowering with a bright yellow type of gorse which made the scenery even the more dynamic. The deep blue sea running alone side the course, the mountains of Mourne forming a striking background and the variety of greens of the golf course itself sprinkled with the brown sand traps and the mounds of bright yellow gorse. Truly picturesque.

On the tenth hole, I thought our golf trip was going to come to a quick end as I scaled the side of huge green side mound or should a say almost a cliff, which was only suitable territory for a mountain goat, to attempt to deliver a spectacularly executed flop shot from a ball buried knee deep in the heather. I know, brilliant idea! After a swing and advancing the ball three feet further down the side of the mound. I made a second attempt and that was one attempt too many as I temporarily lost my balance and started to go over backwards but being the finely tuned athlete I am...not... I managed to catch myself and gingerly scaled down the mound of my hands, knees and feet!! That was Kim’s first I told you so moment of the trip! I hate when she’s right!!!

One of the interesting bits of info we found out during the round was that Eli and Peyton Manning had bought the five star hotel located a block or two away from the course. We were unable to get a room there because it was going through a major renovation which the Mannings are, of course, funding. 

Some stats from the first round. I will being keeping a running total throughout the trip: (Kim prefers keeping hers to herself:-)

    Score 97

    Yardage Played - 6297

    Lost Balls - 2

    No. of Pars, Birdies, Eagles - 3 pars (I wouldn’t dare share the number of bogeys, double bogeys and worse:-) Remember I’m an 18 hdcp!

    Steps - 14,389

    Miles Walked - 6.2

    Green Fee - $375

    Caddie Fee - 60 pounds plus tax (These last two stats are a little tacky but I        know you’re curious on what it’s going to cost you when you take your Irish        Golf Vacation!!)

After the round, Kim and I headed to Quinn’s, a well known pub in Newcastle for a pint or two of Guinness and bar food! The atmosphere was what you would expect from a weathered old Irish pub. - Great vibe, good food and the friendliest people you’ll find anywhere! 

Then back to The Briers for our last night stay before moving on to Portstewart. I think we’re close to shaking the jet lag which means tomorrow we’ll probably go low at the next course we play, Ardglass Golf Club. BTW Low means lower than the 97 I shot today!

Stay tuned!!

gb

PS - The pictures posted just don’t capture how rolling and massive some of the mounds are but they still give you an idea of the experience.

[darlingandmreames]

2022 Fic Year in Review

Alright y'all, time for one of my favourite new year activities- looking back at all of the weird shit I wrote last year! I always love being able to look back and see all the things I've created and the progress I've made. So without further ado, here it is: Your Local Trash Goblin's 2022 Fic Year in Review!

Fandoms Written For: Inception (6), The Batman (2), Star Wars Rebels (1), The Guest (2), Encanto (1), Kingdom (1)

Total Word Count: 231,264

Fic With the Most Comments: With Words I Thought I'd Never Speak

Fic With the Most Bookmarks: A Remedy for Sadness

Fic I'm Proudest Of: Mile Deep Hollow

January

A Remedy for Sadness

Fandom: Encanto

Rating: General

Word Count: 3.5k

Summary: Julieta healed injuries and sicknesses with the food she made. But more than that, she used her food to show love.

I went through a brief period where I, like many on Tumblr, was absolutely obsessed with Bruno we don't talk about him and this was the result lol. I had a really fun time writing the sibling dynamic between Bruno and Julieta since that's not a dynamic I necessarily end up writing very often

February

Title: One Hand Above the Skin (My Head Below the Water)

Fandom: The Guest (Choi Yoon/Hwa-pyung)

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 3.4k

Summary: Choi Yoon had been told over and over that facing evil directly took a permanent toll on one's mind and soul. Park Il-do was gone but his minions weren't, and Yoon found himself starting down several roads he wasn't sure he could come back from in an attempt to handle it

My K-drama obsession during internship interviews lol. Excellent show, highly recommend it

Title: Warmth Untouched by Cold

Fandom: Kingdom (Lee Chang/Yeong-shin)

Rating: General

Word Count: 2.3k

Summary: If someone had told Yeong-shin a year ago that he would willing stay by the side of a noble, he would have laughed in their face. Long months of travel and late nights around a fire had bred a sense of familiarity and companionship, though, and the more Yeong-shin came to know the former Crown Prince, the more he found himself caring for the very human man who existed behind the title

Decided to rewatch Kingdom as a post-internship match treat, and ended up revisiting an old WIP I had for it! Unironically one of the most beautiful shows I've ever watched, please do yourself a favour and watch it

March

Title: Only Human

Fandom: Star Wars Rebels (Kallus/Zeb)

Rating: General

Word Count: 41.7k

Summary: After two years in the rebellion, Kallus had finally found his place. It hadn't always been a smooth process, but he'd found enough acceptance to get by. That didn't mean he didn't still have a few secrets, though, secrets he'd kept for most of his life. Between the passage of time and the chaos of moving the base from Yavin IV to Hoth, keeping those secrets was about to get a lot harder. But maybe that wasn't the worst thing in the world

My entry for the 2022 Kalluzeb Minibang! I'd had the hc of Kallus being partially non-human for a while, and it was really fun to finally write a story to go with it. Plus it has some amazing art!

April

Title: Running Through My Veins Like Sin

Fandom: The Guest (Choi Yoon/Hwa-pyung)

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 32.2k (on-going)

On GOD I am going to finish this fic eventually, I promise agdkfjdh. I absolutely writing Yoon in this fic and I have a wonderful arc planned out for him, so I AM going to finish it. I just got distracted agdkd

Title: Comfort is a Heavy Blanket

Fandom: The Batman

Rating: General

Word Count: 2k

Summary: Alfred knew why Mr. Wayne had let an injured Carmine Falcone into his house to give him treatment, but that didn't mean he liked it. It was a dangerous situation, and the realization that five year old Bruce had witnessed all of it just made it worse

Oh The Batman. I saw you in theaters three times and you gripped me like a rabid animal. I absolutely loved Bruce and Alfred's relationship in this movie as well as the phenomenally Autistic Vibes(tm) of Battison

July (aka A Very Busy Month)

Title: With Words I Thought I'd Never Speak

Fandom: The Batman (Bruce/Martinez)

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 24.6k (on-going)

Summary: In the year following the Riddler's attacks, Martinez somehow found himself involved at least peripherally with two of Gotham's odder figures: Batman and Bruce Wayne. For all his initial dislike of Batman, a year's worth of cases resulted in a somewhat grudging respect for the vigilante's intelligence and investigative skill, even if he never quite became any less strange and unsettling. Martinez developed a new found appreciation for Bruce Wayne as well, an odd but likeable man who was pleasant to work with in his own awkward way. During an investigation into a death possibly connected to Penguin, Martinez accidentally learns that the two odd characters he's spent an increasing amount of time interacting with over the past year are actually the same person, who's far more complex (and far more human) than he'd ever realized

If I wasn't prepared for the death grip The Batman had on my brain, I DEFINITELY wasn't prepared for falling into the Bruce/Martinez dumpster fire. I love them so much. I also got distracted while writing this fic, but I have the basic plot points mapped out, and on GOD I will finish this one too

Title: As Warm As Whiskey (And Ten Times Better)

Fandom: Inception (Arthur/Eames)

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 1.3k

Summary: Watching Arthur get drunk was a process Eames had seen many times over the years, but that didn't make him enjoy it any less

It had been too long since I'd written for my Disaster Criminal Blorbos, but I was about to fix that lol. A short fic inspired by an Inception30DayChallenge prompt

Title: Such Great Heights

Fandom: Inception (Arthur/Eames)

Rating: General

Word Count: 51.5k

Summary: When the market crashed four years ago, things went to hell for a lot of people. Eames has done okay, though- his job as a reporter at the New York Herald Tribune was secure enough that he managed to keep it, and he was good enough at it that he made enough to get by. He has a strict rule, though: no photographers. Working with freelancers has always been a crapshoot, and it's only gotten worse over the past few years. When the Rockefellers insist on a photographer for the Tribune's upcoming story on their new building, though, Eames is forced to choose between dropping the best paying story he's had in four years or working with Arthur, the freelance photographer hired on the recommendation of Eames' editor, Dom. He's an odd man who clearly has a past and who, as Eames spends more time with him, is just maybe worth getting to know a bit better.

My entry for the 2022 Inception Big Bang! It was inspired by a combination of a real life photographer and a surprisingly fun horror movie about WWI zombie parasites (no parasites or zombies in the fic itself). I had a lot of fun writing it, and it has some amazing art!

Title: A Stranger's Kindness

Fandom: Inception

Rating: General

Word Count: 2.9k

Summary: Long before a reporter met a photographer in New York, a young woman found a soldier in a field in France.

The story of how Arthur and Mal met

A short prequel to Such Great Heights! Arthur and Mal's friendship wasn't a central part to the larger fic, but it was a relationship I found really interesting while developing the story and I wanted to expand on it a little more

Title: Relinquish

Fandom: Inception (Arthur/Eames)

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 3.4k

Summary: Arthur liked to be in control, or at least on even footing with whoever he was interacting with. That was how he’d always been. Just…maybe not with Eames. The thought of letting someone else take control, letting Eames take control, was…different. Intriguing. Enticing. Enough so that he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it. Maybe even imagining what it would be like, more often than he cared to admit over the recent weeks, and what had started as a bit of teasing had started to become more and more serious in his mind.

This one's literally just porn. I had a lot of fun writing it lol

Title: Taking the Leap

Fandom: Inception (Arthur/Eames)

Rating: General

Word Count: 1.7k

Summary: Personal information wasn't something easily or freely shared in the world of extraction. But sometimes the risk of vulnerability was worth it

Trans Arthur and nonbinary Eames my beloved ^-^ this is the first entry into what will eventually become a series

December

Title: Mile Deep Hollow

Fandom: Inception (Arthur/Eames)

Rating: General

Word Count: 60.6k

Summary: Eames had worked countless jobs with Arthur over the years, enough that he had long since picked up on Arthur's on-job habits. Long hours, little sleep, too much work shoved into too little time- that's just what Arthur was like on jobs. The Fischer job felt...different though. Arthur didn't usually start jobs looking this tired or worn down, and his insistence that he was fine didn't usually ring this hollow. It was worrying, and Arthur's increasingly unconvincing reassurances weren't doing much to help.

Everyone in extraction had their limits, even Arthur. And Eames knew he was getting close to seeing what those limits really were.

This is the fic I'm proudest of this year. Not only is it the longest fic I've ever published, but it was also one that had been sitting in my WIPs folder for 2 or 3 years. I really loved the concept but had gotten distracted and never ended up finishing it at the time. I'm actually really glad I waited because I think I'm a stronger writer now, and this fic ended up better for it. It's one of the angstier fics I've written while still having a happy (or at least very hopeful) ending, and I'm really proud of how it ended up turning out

And that's it! Adjusting to my internship work schedule was a process so unfortunately that cut down on the amount of time/brain power I could spend writing, but I'm still super proud of what I put out this (last?) year. To ever increasing skills and another year of good writing!

-Your Local Trash Goblin

[in-ky]

An Old Scent [2] - Negan x Reader (A/B/O AU)

Summary: During summer break, you decide to come back home to visit your dad, Rick. Over the course of your stay, you realize that your dad's friend is pretty hot.

Warnings: Eventual smut, A/B/O dynamics, cheating, angst, age gap, Negan, a bit of gore if you squint

A/N: ok so everything is written i'm just gonna stagger posting a little bit :') 2.7k words

The first thing I woke up to in the morning was a dull ache in my lower abdomen. Great. My heat was starting up again. Growing up, Bee always asked why I never went on suppressants. I always got a bad vibe from them. Then, a few years ago, a large brand got recalled because it was shown to cause cancer in a lot of different patients. Now suppressants were harder to come by, more regulated, and needed a doctor's prescription. A lot of omegas took the hit hard, but out of it came an influx of at-home ways to take care of your heats by yourself. Super helpful for a single girl like me. When my heats started to get really bad around my junior year of high school, Bee took me out on a shopping spree and got me a bunch of toys to try and satisfy myself. It worked for a while, but they got worse as the years passed. By my age, a lot of omegas were already claimed and had an alpha to help them through their heats. I was still relying on the toys Bee had bought me. The box was tucked neatly under my bed, waiting for me. I rolled over with a small groan and sighed. The heat wouldn't be in full swing for another few days or so, so I could still go to the courthouse with my dad. Speaking of, I heard Rick shuffling down the hall and slid out of bed, gathering my bathroom stuff and walking out of my room into the small tiled room to start the day.

~~~

"So you weren't at the garage on the night of the eight?" Negan hummed, leaning against the railing in front of the tv. His eyes were glued to the face of the man sitting on the stand. The poor guy was drenched in a nervous sweat, tight blue shirt sucking at his chubby neck. He swallowed thickly and leaned forward to the microphone.

"That's correct," he croaked.

"Oh, Jeremy," Negan chuckled, shaking his head and looking at his feet. "Don't you know perjury is a criminal offense?"

"I-I'm not lying!"

"Is that so?" The alpha held up the remote to the TV "I have some footage here that directly contradicts your story, man. One last chance." He wiggled the remote teasingly and raised his eyebrows. Jeremy held his ground. "Alrighty then, let's see what we have here." He took a step back and furrowed his brow at the remote and pressed a button. The screen in front of him came to life. I had to lean forward in order to see the video, but in reality it wasn't the security tape I was watching. It was him. I couldn't look away. He had dominated the room for the past hour and a half. His deep voice was never raised, but it still carried a commanding tone that had every person sitting on the stand shaking in their boots. My eyes trailed down his body. His suit clung to him in every perfect way. His hair was slicked back in its iconic style and the way his glasses perched on his face made my insides burn. Part of me regretted seeing him like this so close to my heat, but another part couldn't imagine if I hadn't. Rick leaned over and tapped my elbow.

"We've got him now for sure." He whispered in my ear. A smile formed on my lips as I nodded to him. There was a child-like joy on his face. He really did appreciate my presence. I turned my attention back to the video screen. The footage was fuzzy, but there was a clear figure of a woman standing still hunched over what I presumed was her phone. She was texting away, fingers flying over her screen. Suddenly a large figure, who had the same height and build as Jeremy, slunk out from the shadows. He slowly approached the woman from behind and raised a crowbar high above his head. He swung it down with brutal force. There were small gasps of horror from the jury and the crowd as the crowbar connected solidly with the woman's head. She collapsed in a heap, but Jeremy didn't stop beating her until she was a pile of mush. Negan clicked the TV off.

"Well, shit, Jeremy," He boomed "I do in fact think you are lyin' to me." He tossed the remote down on his table top and gave a grim scoff. "Everyone just saw you turn poor Miss Parker's head into your personal punching bag. You still wanna claim you were no where near there?" All of the color had drained from Jeremy's round face. He swallowed again, tugging at his restricting collar. But soon, his face turned a deep shade of pink and he slammed his beefy palms on the flat surface of the box he was sitting in.

"That bitch deserved it!" He howled, gasping for air. "She had no business-" He stopped when Negan raised his hand silently.

"I really don't care," He sighed, turning around and grinning broadly when he saw the defense team resting their heads in their hands in defeat. "I'll let the jury do the rest, your honor."

"Yes, thank you, Mr. Smith." The judge said, voice prickling with annoyance. Negan returned to his bench and pulled out his seat. But before he sat down he gave Rick a small thumbs up. And I could have sworn that he flashed me a little smile as well.

~~~

"You were incredible in there!" I cheered, giving Negan a high five. The contact made my skin tingle, but I passed it off as the consequences of the impact. "You really made that guy tremble like a kid!"

"It's what I do," Negan chuckled deeply. He looked around me and furrowed his brow. "Where's your dad?"

"He's pulling the car around," I said "I just figured I should let you know how good you did before I leave." He was so close. He smelled so good. The same combination of whiskey and campfire that could get me drunk in a few breaths. I was so focused on his intoxicating musk that I didn't notice the group of alphas that were headed our way. Negan did, though. I heard a rumbling from his chest and felt a hand clasp around my shoulder. Confusion clouded my mind and I looked up to him for some answers.

"The next case is starting soon," He said smoothly "Let's go wait for your dad outside." I agreed and he steered me out onto the steps of the courthouse. The short skirt and heels I was wearing weren't exactly comfortable for walking down stairs, so I held onto Negan's forearm as he guided me down to street level. There was a small breeze and I saw his jaw tense as a soft gust of wind swirled up from behind me and into his body. It no doubt carried my scent on it, and an alpha like Negan could probably tell what state I was in.

"So," I sighed, looking to engage him further "What's next?"

"Well," He tilted his head and ran a hand over his bear-covered chin. "Jeremy goes to jail. Your dad and the department get praise. And I get to go to the bar for a celebratory drink." He paused for a moment, looking me up and down quickly. "You want to join me?" I opened my mouth to say something. To be honest, I wasn't sure what I was going to say. I didn't really drink, but I was willing to do absolutely anything that Negan wanted. But it was then that Rick rounded the corner and gave the horn a little honk.

"I would love to," I settled on "But dad has a full day of father-daughter fun times planned, and I don't really want to keep him waiting." I gestured awkwardly to where Rick was sitting in the car, bopping his head gently to incoherent music.

"Totally understand, doll." He grinned.

"Maybe another time, though?"

"For sure."

"See you around, Negan."

"Bye, doll, have fun. And be safe"

~~~

Negan was pleasantly buzzed, as per usual. He got off his motorcycle and hung his helmet on the handlebar before lightly stumbling into the house from the dark garage. The sight he saw he did not expect. There sat his fiancé in the living room, arms crossed over her chest with a pissed expression on her face. And beside her was a woman he knew all too well.

"The hell is goin' on here?" He asked, slurring his words slightly.

"I could ask you the same thing, Negan."

"Lucille, what the fuck is she doing in our house?"

"Oh, so you know her?" Lucille growled. Negan just licked his lips and flicked his gaze between the two women sitting in front of him. "Of course you do. You have been fucking her after all." Negan groaned, rubbing his eyes.

"Baby, please-" He started, but Lucille cut him off.

"Don't you dare," She hissed, jumping to her feet and balling her hands into fists "You don't get to call me that after what you've done, Negan. You slept with another woman. Hell, maybe more than one. You ruined our relationship." Negan took a step forward but Lucille raised her hand and pointed to the kitchen table. "Don't take another step. Your stuff is in that box." Negan looked to see a cardboard box sitting alone in the dark kitchen, his belongings poking out of the top. "I never want to see you in my house again."

"Lucille, can't we just talk about this? You don't understand." He pleased, extending a hand to her. She batted it away.

"There's nothing to talk about." She spat "You cheated on me, Negan! What is there to understand? How can you expect me to forgive you for that?" A moment of silence passed between them. The other woman shifted uncomfortably on the couch. Negan glared at her before turning his eyes back to his now ex-fiancé.

"I have no where to stay." He whispered.

"That's not my problem." Lucille said boldly "Take your shit and leave. Don't come back. We're done."

~~~

I stirred the pot of spaghetti while humming a song I heard on a radio earlier. The father-daughter activities had consisted of driving around town and revisiting old spots we used to go to when I was younger. We got ice cream at the shop down the street and then watched the sun set at the park that we used to picnic at. It was nice. College did really fix our relationship. The TV in the next room hummed quietly and Rick was talking on the phone with someone. I heard him hang up and walk into the kitchen.

"Think there's enough in there for three?" He asks with a sigh, looking over my shoulder.

"Should be, why?" I return, meeting his gaze. He takes a deep breath and scratches his neck.

"Um, well, Negan's fiancé kicked him out of the house. Apparently she found out he was cheating on her. He doesn't have anywhere to stay." He mumbled "He's gonna be sleeping here for a bit." I stopped stirring. The water started to bubble too close to the top, but I blew a gust of air to push it down.

"Why here?" was all I could muster.

"He really helped me with your mom. It's the least I can do."

I just hummed in acknowledgement and returned to my cooking. So Negan was engaged. And he CHEATED on his fiancé? Maybe I didn't know Negan as well as I thought I did...

~~~

"I just can't believe she kicked me out!" Negan seethed, shoveling a spoonful of spaghetti into his mouth. He was still chewing when he continued. "She didn't even give me a chance to explain myself!"

"I hate to say it, but you did cheat on her, buddy," Rick said carefully, not wanting to poke the angry alpha in the wrong way "She's upset."

"I was in a rut." Negan growled.

"For four months?"

I was making a plate for myself, listening to the conversation from across the room. Rick's phone buzzed on the kitchen table and he picked it up.

"Sorry, I have to take this." He sighed, shaking his head and standing to his feet. He left the room and suddenly it was just me and Negan. I took my plate to the opposite head of the table, watching Negan wolf down his dinner.

"This shit is really good, sweetheart," He groaned. Normally, the noise would have sent me over the moon. But there were so many other emotions clouding my mind. "You ever consider changing your major to culinary arts?" I didn't say anything, just twirled my fork in my serving of pasta.

"Why'd you do it?" I said quietly, almost in a whisper. Negan paused instantly.

"What?"

"Why'd you cheat on her?" My eyes never left my plate but I could hear him shifting in his seat, rubbing his face while trying to answer my question.

"I don't know," He said. His voice was soft, sincere. Something I had never heard from him before. My eyes drifted up and met his. They were the same tawny color, but there was something else behind them. Something I couldn't distinguish. "I thought...Something was off in our relationship. I guess I thought that I could fix it by trying something different. I ran into Tanya at a bar a few months ago. She's a beta, just like Lucille. Wanted to be with an alpha. I gave in. Just for a quick fuck, didn't mean anything. I didn't like her. I told her that but...she...she wanted more, I guess. She fucking threatened me. Threatened to ruin my life unless I kept seeing her. I chose to do it. I don't know if that decision was the right one or not but it's the one I made. I texted her last night to tell her it was over. Never fucking thought she would come to my home." I was chewing the inside of my cheek the whole time he was speaking. I didn't know how much of his story was true, but he sounded like he was hurting.

"Why did you break it off?" I whispered.

"That's your damn question?" He scoffed, giving a short smile. He looked in my eyes. I knew the answer. Or at least I thought I did. He opened his mouth, but Rick reentered the room before he could say anything.

"Alright, sorry about that guys," He said, slipping back into his seat. "What did I miss?"

~~~

Negan was set up in the bedroom next door to mine. Our doors faced each other from across the hall. We would have to share a bathroom. Rick didn't seem to have a problem with it, but with my heat starting I wasn't too sure about the whole arrangement. I felt more cramps riddle my body. I was ready to bed, ready to curl up in a ball and go to sleep, but something called me across the hall. Curiosity got me and I turned slightly, walking up and leaning on the doorframe. There was Negan, clad in grey sweatpants and a black tank top, unpacking his things.

"Hey," I said quietly, not wanting to startle him. He turned around. He looked older like this, hair unkempt and his glasses on. When he saw me his lips curled in a smile. Any trace of vulnerability I had seen earlier was now gone.

"Hey to you."

"I just want to apologize for earlier," I said "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I'm also sorry that you have to be subjected to me and my dad for the foreseeable future." He let out a snicker and shook his head.

"Don't worry about it, doll. And you're not that bad. I appreciate Rick; he's a good man." He scratched his beard and looked over at the clock next to the bed. "It's late, you should get some rest." He took a deep breath and I nodded. I turned to leave but he called my name softly. "You know I meant what I said last night, you are looking good." I smiled but didn't say anything and crossed the hall, shutting my door and hopping into bed.

[mira-blue]

Long Post Containing Amphibia Spoilers Ahead!

*cracks knuckles* alright i've been debating whether or not i should post this but seeing as i've already got it all planned out in my head - why not, you know?

anyways i've seen lots of people debate what will happen in The Dinner/Battle of The Bands and they've all been awesome theories, so i've been thinking about how True Colors - a.k.a. the season finale - will go down.

friendly reminder that this 'theory' is for fun and speculation only and is probably completely wrong :]

alright, so as others have said, the two episodes before this one will most likely be about the girls slowly beginning to fix their friendship and realizing how much they missed each other - probably a mixture of fluff and a bit of angst because sasha and marcy are hiding things from anne.

moving on to True Colors, we'll start off back in newtopia, maybe in the castle. goodbyes are being said, preparations are being made, no one can actually believe that the trio is actually going home after so long.

the king insists that only the three girls stay in the throne room when the box is about to be opened, claiming something like'We don't want anyone accidently being sent back with them'. this forces the plantars (and possibly grime if he'd accompanied them to this point) to leave. grime - of course - would be glad to be out of his sight and immediately heads off to help the toad army enter newtopia.

once the girls are alone, the king begins to talk about the music box a little, revealing some key things, but nothing too major (yet). this eventually leads to him bringing up his propostion to marcy.

now, that's the one thing i can't make a solid guess on. because it doesn't seem likely at all that marcy would intentionally do something to hurt her friends. however, she has unintentionally done so before, so it wouldn't be surprising if it happens again. i doubt it's anything that will prevent sasha and anne from going home - the most likely theory i've seen floating around is the one where she admits that she doesn't want to go home.

whatever marcy's plans are, they throw anne and sasha in for a loop. especially anne, who at this point is sick of people hiding things from her.

an arguement ensues, sasha's more conflicted than ever, the king is omniously standing in the background with the music box - basically, the vibes are completely off.

and sasha realizes that. she doesn't trust the king (she is literally bringing an army to his doorstep) and she knows he's manipulating marcy (*cough* because she's an expert at it *cough*). so she confronts him, demanding he reveal his plans.

does he? i don't know. on one hand, we need a common enemy for the girls to unite against. on the other, there's still an entire season left and too much is happening.

either ways, before things escalate even more, BOOM

a guard bursts in, yelling about how there's a frogging toad army invading the city right now and they were let in from the inside!!

(cue sasha thinking 'oh no, i forgot about that')

anne connects the dots together. toads? let in from the inside? sasha not seeming too surprised?

oh would you look at that, another betrayal!

this is a lot for anne. i feel like if marcy and sasha turn out to be lying to her, it'll be a breaking point for her.

she doesn't even know what to say, just sort of glares at sasha and goes 'Seriously?' sasha tries to explain (the king is up to no good anyways, anne!) but anne doesn't want to hear it. she leaves the throne room, running to find her frog family and the one friend who hasn't hurt her yet - sprig.

so now, marcy and sasha are left behind with the king (and honestly, who can blame anne for having enough?)

now throughout all of this, king andrias has been strangely calm. he doesn't seem to be worried at all about the toads invading his city.

and you know why that is? because he's prepared.

i mean, that sort of proves that he's been aware of an incoming invasion this whole time, right? and we know that he's got some pretty messed up stuff in his basement, too. so what if, when the toads attack, he releases Something to fight them?

i doubt it'll be the Night (or whatever that 13 eyed creature is), but something horrifying enough. this further cements sasha's belief that he Cannot Be Trusted and she turns to marcy, exclaiming 'You've been working for THIS GUY?'

but, of course, she can't blame marcy - the king's facade would've had us completely convinced if we didn't get to see what went on behind the scenes.

the king decides he's had enough of sasha and orders the guards to capture her. she fights back, but slowly gets overwhelmed.

so marcy throws the game.

she rushes in to help sasha, but before that, she grabs the music box. this could go two ways - one, she throws it on the floor and shatters it, allowing its powers to return to the girls or two, she gives it to sasha and yells at her to run.

and sasha - for the first time in her life - realizes that she has no other choice but to run.

she does look back, though, just in time to see the guards arresting marcy.

outside, it's complete chaos. the toads were bad enough on their own, but whatever the king released to oppose them made matters worse. the city is - literally and figuratively - on fire.

i like to think that anne finds the plantars and is about to escape with them, when sasha stumbles into them.

she tries to talk to anne, but anne in no way trusts her - might never trust her again. she tries surrendering, tries to explain that the king's got marcy and they're all in danger, but she can't get through to anne.

nowwww i know a lot of fans want sasha to join anne and the plantars by the end of this season - and maybe she will, and it'd be dope! - but in my version of things...

they get seperated again.

i don't know how that'll happen, if it'll be done willingly or not, but having the girls end up seperated again (therefore back into square one) would be a pretty cool scenario.

anyways, they get seperated, anne heads off with the plantars, and sasha runs into grime. they fight side by side but grime knows there's no way they'll make it, so he puts sasha out of harm's way by forcing her out of newtopia - another friend telling her to run.

then he dies /JJJJJ

nah, but i think it's more likely he surrenders and gets arrested. he could still die, though...

cut back to marcy. she's been arrested and is currently in the throne room. the king is there, and he says something about how disappointing her actions were, then tells the guards to take her away.

of course, there's a lot more in the background. will we find out what the ruins of despair (the place frobo came from) were? will we learn more about The Portrait? will the prophecy be revealed?

don't really have an answer to any of those ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

but this all sets the stage for season three - anne & the plantars in hiding (maybe in the very same cave she used when she first arrived in amphibia), sasha on the run (Sasha Alone episode, anyone?), and marcy imprisoned in the castle (possibly alongside grime).

it all really depends on how next week's episodes go, and i can't wait to see that! if you've stuck around this far, thanks for reading!

[jaehotbuns]

idolboyfriend!mark

♡ 2.6k, fluff  =^._.^= ∫

you first met Mark on a Nature Republic photo shoot where your friend was a hair stylist 

she called you frantically because the SM staff caught multiple employees from each department posting on their personal social media stories the location and whereabouts of the members and dismissed them from the site

they were shooting at an island in the middle of nowhere which you were conveniently writing a thesis on different landscapes of South Korea 

you had no experience of styling other people and only did it for yourself but you knew you couldn’t leave your friend deserted so you came to help in any way that you could

half of the staff were fired on the spot so they immediately pushed you towards the members to prepare them for their next shoot after threatening legal action if you decided to act as stupidly as the other stylists did 

you saw your friend quickly adjusting the collar of theHawaiian shirt that was roughly put on Jaehyun and she gave you an apologetic look and mouthed a ‘thank you’

you were assigned at styling Mark’s hair, which you were scared of because you had never styled a man’s hair before never mind a celebrity but you squared your shoulders and hoped for the best

he was already used to the chaos but he was slightly concerned at how well you would perform considering that your eyebrows were furrowed and had sweat rolling down your temples as you scrunched the ends of his hair with mousse to create beachy waves

every stylist that he met was always either professional and stoic or overly friendly to try and get with the members romantically but he tried to suppress his laughter when he saw your distressed face under your medical mask

in such a stressful and hectic situation, he would never talk to the staff to help them focus but he couldn’t help but strike up a conversation with you

you looked younger than him too so he felt more comfortable

“first time?” he asked with a smile on his face as he looked up at you

your hands stopped in the middle of combing the fluffy mousse through his hair and your face dropped slightly, “you could tell?”

Mark covered his laugh with his hand as he didn’t want to discourage you but couldn’t help but chuckle at the cute expression on your face 

“yeah,” he answered but then realized that it came out meaner than he had intended

“but you’re doing a great job! Keep going!” He tried to encourage you by motioning with his hands to continue

you patted his hair into place for finishing touches but you pouted under your mask when you realized, “how would you know? You can’t even see it” 

there were no mirrors in sight except for the hand mirrors that stylists held on their belt

he choked on his saliva out of embarrassment and rubbed his hand awkwardly on the back of his neck

“well let’s see then!” He exclaimed and you begrudgingly gave him the hand mirror to see 

you were bracing yourself in case he thought you made his hair into a bird’s nest and demanded you to be fired on the spot but he let a “wahh” escape his mouth as he admired the hairstyle 

“this actually looks great!” He said a little too excitedly 

“we were both expecting it to look bad then, huh?” You joked but really you were relieved that he thought it didn’t look atrocious 

Mark shook his head to deny but you held his shoulders in place to not disrupt his hair 

his face went pink and you realized that you just touched a client, a very influential client 

you lifted your hands off of him quickly and stepped back so that he could stand up from his chair and go in front of the cameras to prepare for the shoot

“thank you” he said and you both exchanged bows before awkwardly getting back to work 

you stayed on the set with your friend for the rest of the day until the sun went down and the sky turned a bright pink from the previous ocean blue 

luckily, that was the last hair and clothes change that NCT needed and everyone started to pack up after the photographer and managers shouted “thank you for your work” and everyone bowed and clapped to each other 

while each member started to load into their vans to get back to the city for their next schedule, Mark ran up to you and asked if you were apart of the SM staff or were for hire from another beauty boutique

“oh, I just came last minute,” you said 

“I’m not actually licensed for this I came to help”

he let out a disappointed “oh” and decided not to take your number down since it was unprofessional and knew that after the fiasco today that there could be anyone around to expose him if he did 

“good night, see you around,” he said in hopes that he would see you again

you doubted that he would see you around but you repeated what he said and waved at him as he ran into the van 

the other members were confused as to why he ran off to greet you and were ready to tease him since they noticed that you were his type physically 

but he knew that they were about to so he lied and said that he forgot to take a bracelet from you and pretended to fall asleep so that they couldn’t question him further

you thought about that was a once in a lifetime experience until 2 weeks later the campaign was a hit and everyone was fawning over Mark specifically since he looked like boyfriend material in a white button up shirt and blue jeans with messy beach hair 

your friend called to tell you that she recommended you as a freelance hair stylist after they asked her who did Mark’s hair 

as a broke college student living in another country you took the offer but felt guilty getting an amazing job with no credentials so you got licensed at a beauty school within 2 months 

the next time you saw Mark was on the Punch music video set 

he had everything on except makeup and hair 

you were taken aback at how different he looked with the leather pieces, chain jewelry, and overall bad boy vibes

he was sitting in front of the dressing room vanities and his face lit up when he saw you stand behind him with your cart of hair products and tools 

usually he’d stay still in his chair but this time he turned around to face you, “hey! I thought you said you weren’t even licensed?”

“I decided to after getting offered a job” you smiled 

he turned around and looked at you through the mirror’s reflection, “or did you come back because of me?” 

you coughed through your mask and felt the heat creep from your neck all the way to your cheeks and temples

Mark smiled to himself when he saw your bright red face and was even more excited for the music video shoot knowing that the stylist he thought was cute would be doing his hair on a regular basis and could see him act cool on stage

to not let you out of his sights again, Mark pulled his phone off of the vanity table in front of him and went straight to his Instagram search page, “can I have your Insta by the way?” 

you were combing the translucent gel through his hair when you tilted your head out of curiosity of why he would want your socials 

“I send what kind of hairstyles and concepts I’d like to try to stylists on here,” he said 

in actuality Mark wasn’t one of the idols that really cared of how his stylists dressed him like Johnny or Jaehyun but he wanted an excuse so that his interest in you was too obvious

“oh sure,” you spelled out your Instagram handle and you saw him follow you right away

for the rest of the shoot for the two days that it took place, Mark would admire you every time you came up to him between scenes to wipe the sweat off his forehead and to spray his hair with setting mist 

although you were a fan of the group, you didn’t want to make them uncomfortable so you invested all of your focus on making them look their best

Mark appreciated that; you weren’t completely cold and professional but you also didn’t cross any boundaries by asking him about his personal life or interviewing him like some new stylists did 

when you got home you decided to look at Mark’s profile and saw that he was only following his family, friends from Vancouver, idols friends, and a few celebrities that he looked up to 

you were the only staff member that he was following other than his managers

but you didn’t think for a second Mark liked you

even though during promotions he would text you on his time off about your day and ask you about yourself 

“because I don’t want to be to formal” was his excuse to his unofficial game of 21 questions 

even though after promotions when he was on his break, he’d ask you to go shopping with him “to get some inspiration from uh hair stuff” 

at one point he was bold enough to ask you to go to a cafe because he said he felt like you two were friends at one point

behind the scenes, Johnny caught on quickly at how Mark was on his phone more often when he’d usually just use it to play mobile games or listen to music 

“I don’t think you left the bracelet with the pretty stylist,” Johnny would tease Mark one day when he saw him re-reading your texts and smiling to himself 

“you left your heart,” he’d say and slap himself on the knee from laughing too hard at his own joke

“can you get out of my room?” Mark would retort in embarrassment but it was worse for him from there

Johnny told both floors that Mark had a big fat crush on the young stylist and was flirting with them 24/7 

Mark wasn’t really the type to get in his feelings 

sure he’d find different celebrities or employees that he’d work with attractive but he knew it was for business or that they’d just be really good friends in the industry 

but you felt like home 

like he could imagine that if he was back in Vancouver that you two would meet at a library or something and he’d ask you for a coffee after you asked him to watch your bag to go to the washroom 

that was what he’d imagine before he went to sleep at night anyways 

half of the time he’d stay up thinking about asking you out officially and keeping your relationship as a secret and the other half of the time he’d kick his blankets scolding himself for even thinking that because it would put both of your careers on the line and he didn’t want you to feel the burden of dating in secret

you also had feelings for Mark but thought that he was just friendly and flirty 

even if he did have feelings for you, you thought that it would be best to just stay as friends because you didn’t want to get in the way of his career

one day Mark couldn’t take it anymore and went to the convenient store by himself instead of riding bikes with Haechan and Renjun like he originally planned to 

they noticed that he didn’t get embarrassed or annoyed at the teasing anymore and just kept to himself so they followed him to the store and found him outside on a bench with a beer in his hand

both of them sat beside him and Haechan grabbed the beer and took a swig, “just tell her” 

Mark placed his elbows on his knees and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration, “I don’t want to ruin it for us… Or for her”

Renjun placed a hand on his shoulder reassuringly, “if you both have strong feelings for each other then it’ll always work out in the end” 

Mark shook his head although he appreciated the support, “what if the stress gets us to break up? What if I make it awkward for her at work?” 

Haechan stopped him and told him sternly, “I see the way you two look at each other and I know that she’d accept if you asked. If the press or pressure causes you to break up then at least you tried.” 

Renjun added on more gently, “do you just want to continue suffering forever? What if she’s waiting for you too?” 

Mark didn’t want to think about it any longer and as a lightweight, the 2 cans of beer in his system were already giving him courage

if he had another night to think about it, he’d probably never confess to you so he decided in his tipsy state to confess right then 

with urgency, he told you to meet you at Hangang River right away 

“thank you guys,” he said while standing up too quickly 

he stumbled a little bit before starting to walk towards the meeting place, “I can do it!”

“you can do it!” Renjun laughed while holding up too fists to show his support

Haechan on the other hand held up his phone and started to record Mark walking clumsily towards the river, “don’t mess up loser!” 

you were finishing up on your readings when you got Mark’s text 

it sounded like he was going to confess but you shook the thought out of your head at the thought of a global star asking you out 

“probably wants to de-stress with a friend,” you thought before putting on a hoodie and jeans before walking to Hangang

when you arrived you could smell a mixture of beer and mint in his breath

His face was flushed pink which was a result of the alcohol and the 2.2km he had just walked

“why did you call me out all of a sudden?” You asked 

“will you go out with me?” He said a little bit too loudly

you quickly looked around to make sure that no one was within a kilometre near you too and asked in a hushed voice, “what?”

“I like you!” He nearly shouted, not aware of his volume due to the nervousness of the chance of rejection

“I tried not to like you ever since I met you but I can’t get you out of my head,” he avoided your gaze and couldn’t believe how cheesy he sounded

Mark continued regardless, “I know that we have to date in secret if you do like me but I promise to protect you and I won’t regret my decision if anything happens. So uh-”

“yes,” you grinned. “I’ll go out with you”

he was surprised at how you accepted with ease, “oh wow I wasn’t expecting this. Thank you for listening to me talk on haha, I don’t even know what to say I-”

to stop his blabbering you held onto his arms to steady yourself for when you went on your tippy toes to peck him on the lips

“that’s not fair” he pouted

“what’s not fair?”

“that’s it?” He murmured under his breath 

“then get some more” you teased

his hands cupped the sides of your face and bent his neck down to reach your height

your hand wrapped around his waist to pull him into a hug while his warm lips pressed onto yours

[sunlit-squid]

(simping softness prompts) could i get some “hey, everything's gonna be fine. stay where you are, i'm on my way” or “holy crap, i thought you were dead! never do that to me again!” if you are feeling so inclined? sorry im just in love w ur writing

For those who don't know, my ask box is open. Send me a simping softness prompt, and I'll write a short sbsp ficlet for you. ✰

i'm gonna do "hey, everything's gonna be fine ...", but don't you worry. i will also be doing "holy crap ..." at some point, since someone else requested it.

anyway, thanks for the prompt, and for the kind words! while we're here, i should also say that @wowthwtslame is doing a similar ficlet challenge. their writing is wonderful, so definitely check them out!

also tagging @azumeowth, who requested the same prompt!

ficlet under the cut. thanks again!

The call came in -- loudly -- at around 2 in the morning.

When Squidward rolled over to check his shell phone, the dull blue screen read, simply, “SpongeBrat”, accompanied by a vomit emoji. Sighing, the octopus put his phone on silent and went back to bed. Surely whatever it was the sponge wanted to blabber about could wait until tomorrow. After a decent night’s sleep.

Unfortunately, sleep was hard to come by. Despite having switched his phone to silent, the device’s small blue screen continued to light up repeatedly, like a small, pathetic rave. Every few seconds, the small blue light cast peculiar shadows on the walls of Squidward’s bedroom. Eventually, after thirty minutes of tossing and turning, the cephalopod grabbed his phone to shove it inside the nightstand -- when he caught a glimpse of the screen itself.

43 missed calls. 37 unread text messages. All from “SpongeBrat” Squarepants.

The phone rang again. This time, Squidward picked up.

“Spongebob, do you have any idea what time it is?” snapped Squidward, despite the uncomfortable, worried feeling growing in his stomach. “No? Well, I’ll tell you -- it is two-forty-seven --”

“I-I know, Squidward,” came a small, shaking Spongebob-voice. “I just -- I didn’t know what to do.”

Squidward paused. Well, that was … not the regular Spongebob volume. Or tone. Or pitch.

“Squ -- Squidward?” came the sponge’s soft, sad voice once more. The frycook’s voice was barely audible. There was some sort of loud, constant whooshing happening on the other end, not to mention a weird crackling noise, which made it very difficult to hear. Squidward sighed, wiping a tentacle across his eyes.

“I’m here,” said Squidward. “What’s this about, Spongebob?”

Silence. Then, crying -- and not Spongebob’s usual loud, obnoxious crying. This crying was quiet and gentle, barely decipherable against the loud whooshing on the other end of the line. Squidward sat up then, pressing the phone close to his ear.

“Sponge,” said Squidward, panic rising in his chest. “Sponge, what’s wrong?”

Spongebob sobbed something indiscernible. Then, he stammered, “I’m -- I’m hurt, Squidward. I’m hurt, and … I’m lost.”

Something funny exploded in Squidward’s chest. Before he knew it, the octopus was out of bed, scrambling for his jacket and keys. Gripping his shell phone tight, Squidward asked, “Where are you? What’s going on, Spongebob?”

On the other end of the line, Spongebob snuffled. “I got on the wrong bus,” he explained, in a shaky, uneven voice. “I -- I’m in a place called ‘Deviltown’ now, and the current is so strong, and the signal is pretty bad --” There was that distorted, crackling sound again -- followed by a few more broken whimpers.

Squidward sighed, feeling his hearts crack with every little sob. “Hey, everything’s going to be fine,” he said, stepping out the door and into the cool Bikini Bottom night. “Stay where you are. I’m on my way.”

-0-

Deviltown, it turned out, was several hours away from Bikini Bottom. Squidward’s shell phone indicated the drive not only went straight, but downward -- which was certainly a problem. Oceanic towns grew more and more dangerous the deeper you went, and Deviltown was apparently thousands of nautical leagues under the sea. Wherever Spongebob was, even the sun couldn’t reach him.

Undeterred, Squidward set off on his journey. His boat was constantly maintained, so the cephalopod was certain it could handle the perilous road ahead.

For the first hour or so, the drive was uneventful -- peaceful, even. The streets were smooth and well taken care of, which was good considering the massive tax hike this past year. Squidward even put on some Kelpy G, which certainly helped to soothe his nerves.

Later on, however, the drive got worse. The once well-maintained roads gave way to rickety rocks and slippery sand, with only a few sporadic road signs to get by. Moonlight became sparse, and by the time Squidward reached a vertical road, he had his brights all the way up -- and was still struggling to see.

A nearby rickety sign read “Deviltown, 10 nautical miles downward.” Peering down into the deep abyss, Squidward gulped. Despite his headlights, he still couldn’t see a thing -- just a vast expanse of open blackness.

A tight feeling wound itself around Squidward’s chest. He thought about backing up, turning around, and going straight home. This was ridiculous. Why was he out here, in the wee hours of the morning, chasing after SpongeBrat Squarepants, of all people? The boy had other friends. Certainly one of them would be willing to retrieve him.

Squidward’s tentacle hovered just over the gear stick. That’s when he saw it: in his passenger seat lay Spongebob’s wrinkled little jacket. The sponge must have left it behind the other day, when Squidward (begrudgingly) drove them both home from work.

Squidward’s chest felt hollow, suddenly. He thought of how many times he’d seen Spongebob in that exact jacket over the years.

He thought of never seeing him in that jacket ever again.

Groaning, the octopus switched gears from “Drive” to “Drive, But Downward”, and puttered his way into the deep and black abyss.

-0-

The journey into the inky black was, bar none, one of the creepiest things Squidward had ever experienced. He told himself, repeatedly, that if he just stared straight ahead and focused on the task at hand, then everything would be fine. Still, hearing creepy noises in the darkness (and being unable to see where they came from) was severely unsettling.

After what felt like forever, the vertical road became horizontal once again, and Squidward finally drove into Deviltown. Luckily, the town had the decency to set up some lamp posts, possibly for out-of-towners like Squidward who were unused to the darkness. Still, the lamp posts were few and far between, and there was nobody out and about, giving Deviltown a fittingly creepy vibe nonetheless.

Tense, cold, and worried, Squidward drove further into town, squinting for Spongebob’s bright yellow body. Surely the boy couldn’t be that hard to spot -- he was likely the only vibrant thing down here. Surely --

Oh. Oh, no.

Squidward brought his boat careening to a stop. Clambering out of it, the octopus made his way over to a rickety wooden bus stop, with a flickering lamp post just overhead. On a bench nearby was none other than Spongebob Squarepants: cold, alone, and unconscious. For a moment, a horrible thought passed through Squidward’s head -- is he dead? -- before he saw the sponge’s chest rise and fall, taking slow and steady breaths.

Breathing a huge sigh of relief, Squidward looked up and down the street. No one in sight.

Gently, the octopus leaned down and shook Spongebob lightly. “Hey,” said Squidward, awkwardly. “What are you doing asleep all the way out here? We have work tomorrow, you know.”

Spongebob stirred. In the dim light, Squidward realized the sponge really was hurt -- his usually spiffy shirt and tie were ripped straight down the middle. Beyond the fabric, the sponge’s chest was badly torn up, too, and for some reason, he had not regenerated yet.

Squidward swallowed. “Spongebob?”

The sponge stirred once more. This time, his eyes opened -- and he smiled, weakly. “Squidward,” he slurred, happily. He tried to laugh, then winced, clutching at his stomach and chest. “Squidward, it’s you … you came … ”

“Of course I came,” muttered Squidward, before he could stop himself. “I -- you … ugh, I hate you.”

Scooping up Spongebob, Squidward gently carried him over to the boat, positioning him carefully in the passenger’s seat. The sponge fussed a little about being buckled in, but otherwise, seemed too out of it to complain properly. Taking a deep breath, Squidward got back behind the wheel and started the engine.

“Heheh,” chuckled Spongebob as the boat roared to life. “Vroom-vroom.”

Squidward rolled his eyes and began turning the boat around, back towards Bikini Bottom. “We’re going home now,” he said, with a sigh. “You need to see a doctor for … whatever it was that happened to you.”

Spongebob simply nodded, then fell to his side, leaning all of his body weight on Squidward as he drove. The octopus felt warmth rising to his cheeks, and for once felt grateful for the murky blackness of the ocean void.

Spongebob was mumbling something.

“What is it?” said Squidward. “Are you okay?”

“I …uh … love you, Squidward,” said Spongebob, in a very loopy voice. “I love your big nose, and your paintings, and I wanna … get married, someday. Okay? Can we get married, someday?”

Squidward’s entire face was bright red now. It took everything in him not to just veer in a random direction and crash the entire damn boat. Taking a deep breath, the octopus collected himself. Spongebob was just severely injured, and loopy as a result. He didn’t really mean any of this.

Squidward decided to play along. “Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, we can get married.”

“Mm,” said Spongebob, chuckling softly. “Can I -- can I wear a dress?”

“Sure,” said Squidward. “Whatever you want.”

“And you’ll … and you’ll kiss me?”

“Mhm,” mumbled Squidward.

“And I can … listen to you play the clarinet around the house … and, and paint with you … and watch your soaps with … you … ”

Squidward looked over. The sponge had fallen asleep, and was snoring loudly. Which was … good. Very good. Excellent, even. That way, they couldn’t talk about marriage or love or any of that absolute nonsense. Now they could just drive forward in sweet silence.

Still, Squidward found himself dwelling over Spongebob’s words far more than he would have liked.

About an hour into the drive home, the octopus glanced over at the sponge, still fast asleep beside him. Fixing his gaze forward, Squidward took a deep breath, clutching the steering wheel in a tight death-grip.

“Spongebob, I …,” Squidward began, shakily. “I love you. I love you, I love you.”

Squidward found that once he started saying it, he couldn’t stop. The words felt good in his mouth, like a massive weight had finally been lifted off his chest.

“I love everything about you,” said Squidward, his three hearts exploding inside his chest. “Your annoying laugh, your stupid singing, all of it. I want to read with you, and garden with you.”

Squidward hesitated, his words floating out into the open water.

“I love you,” said Squidward, one last time. “And I … I don’t know what to do about it. Maybe I’m a coward. I’m sorry.”

Squidward looked over. Spongebob was still fast asleep, snoring away against his arm -- but the smallest of smiles had appeared on his face.

-0-

Squidward woke up in the hospital, seated in a chair next to Spongebob’s hospital bed. The poriferan was wide awake, watching an episode of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy on the hospital television. Of course.

The sponge turned. “Squidward!” he exclaimed, his voice loud and back to normal. “You’re awake!”

“Unfortunately,” muttered the octopus. “How are you feeling?”

“Great!” chirped Spongebob. “Better than ever, actually -- but the doc says I should stick around for a little while, just in case.”

Squidward glanced down. Sure enough, Spongebob’s chest had almost fully regenerated. Thank Neptune. When they arrived at the Bikini Bottom General Hospital early that morning, Spongebob was still in rough shape. The doctor said Spongebob most likely had a run-in with a deep-sea predator, and the attack was too quick and too constant for the poriferan to regenerate. Not to mention there were several lacerations to his vital organs.

Still, sponges were pretty sturdy folk -- and all Spongebob really needed was a long rest in a controlled environment.

Squidward breathed a huge sigh of relief. “Great,” he said, awkwardly. “I, uh. Pay attention next time you get on the bus, alright? So I don’t have to come running after you.”

Spongebob laughed. “Okey-doke.”

The two then sat together in silence for an uncomfortable amount of time. All the while, Squidward wondered if perhaps his stupid, impulsive, not-really-a-love-confession-confession had actually gotten through to Spongebob. His hearts twisted up at just the thought.

“Hey, Squidward?”

The octopus looked up, and was very surprised to find splotches of red decorating the sponge’s cheeks.

“What?” said Squidward.

“My, uh, sea flowers have been dying lately,” said the sponge, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. “Maybe you could come by and we could share some gardening tips?”

A brilliant red blush planted itself on Squidward’s face. Then, he cleared his throat, and folded his arms across his chest. “Only if we get to watch a soap afterwards.”

Spongebob grinned. “Deal.”

Squidward found himself grinning, too, despite himself. “Deal.”

References:

“Deviltown” is loosely based off of the Devil Sea, near the Japanese coast.

I will likely be compiling these ficlets into one combined fic on ao3. I originally wasn't going to, but I definitely didn't expect so many requests. So keep an eye out for that, at some point.

[csykora]

A thought about meaningful change

I don’t want to distract from the most recent thing Benn did. I’m going to be talking about several different things, and some might seem smaller than others: I know. I’m not saying that the newest thing isn’t important enough on its own or that everything’s on the same level. But I think patterns can be useful.

(I have also made myself sick with nerves a couple times so I’m posting this as is: sorry for typos, and while I’ll stand behind my ideas there may be some sentences that are a little long or awkwardly worded).

Back in 2015, Jame Benn and Tyler Seguin were doing a radio interview.

Some of you might be thinking, “You want to talk about THIS, AGAIN?” Yes. More of you are probably thinking, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Yeah, that’s what I want to talk about.

cw for discussions of sexual harassment, incest, homophobia, bullying, misogyny and transmisogyny, transphobia

So during this interview, one of the radio hosts asked Benn if he and his brother were ever road roommates. Benn said no, and the host commented that Henrik and Daniel Sedin probably roomed together.

“Well yeah…that’s the Sedins,” Seguin said.

“Who knows what else they do together?" Benn said. Everyone laughed.

“Seriously,” Seguin said.

"Dude, it's creepy," the radio hosts said, "In fact, it's a good example to future brothers in the NHL on how not to do things." Then they reassured Benn, “In no way am I implying that you have a Sedin-type vibe going about you.”

Benn and Seguin laughed. The conversation continued, calling the Sedins creepy for wearing similar facial hair, leaving nearby and spending too much time together.

When asked pointblank, “Are the Sedins weird?” Benn answered, “I don’t know. I can’t say.”

To finish the sentence he didn’t: he was implying that the Sedin brothers fuck each other.

Now, these were shock jockeys. They were almost certainly hoping Benn and Seguin would say something homophobic. That said, even shock jockeys pre-screen an interview. They’re not going to invite just anyone on the air and try this with them, because all it takes is someone saying, “I don’t know what you mean,” or “No, I actually respect Dan and Henke a lot as my colleagues” to ruin that set up. If a shock jockey thinks you’re a mark, you’ve probably said something off-air that made them think you’re a mark. And if they dug a pit in front of him, Benn is still the one who decided to stick his dick in it and make things overtly sexual.

After, the Stars stated that Benn had “reached out” the Sedins to apologize. Seguin did not reach out but was “included” in whatever Benn wrote or said. Neither of them gave a public explanation or apology. As far as I can tell the Sedins never commented on whether they received that message, what sort of apology it was, or whether they accepted it. Henrik Sedin’s only comment was, “I think it says more about them than it does about us.”

Ways that homophobia is working here:

-the idea that two men having any degree of physical or emotional closeness, even family members, is suspicious.

-Benn roomed with his brother. Course he did. The hosts spell out what he was afraid of: that the other men in the room might think he had the wrong vibe. He was so afraid of them thinking he had unmanly vulnerabilities like liking his own brother that he misrepresented the situation and pushed someone else forward.

-the idea that a man having any relationship to another man’s physical body or appearance, is suspicious.

Dressing or looking too similar to another man—which means you’ve paid attention to how another man’s body looks in order to copy him, like you’re trying to take ownership of his body, which = fucking him—is a really common accusation. Gay men are seen as lusting after and trying to copy other men’s real masculinity for themselves (but of course never quite succeeding). A man thinking that another man who he knows or suspects to be gay looks too similar to him, and so must have been watching and ‘copying’ him, is a common spark for homophobic attacks.

-the idea that any of this could have been a joke depends on the idea that two men having sex is wacky and unrealistic. Imagine if that happened, wouldn’t that be weird.

Now, someone might say, “It’s not that gay sex is wacky, it’s that the incest that is!” First, incest accounts for a lot of childhood sexual abuse, so I wouldn’t say it’s wacky either. And while it’s true that people can say awful things to different gender twins as well out of a combination of gender prejudices, in this case there were also homophobic ideas about men and masculinity at play.

Ways that power is working here:

-People forgot this fast. It was treated as settled because the Stars said it was settled. People gave “kudos” to Benn “doing the right thing” afterward, or for seeming to realize what was happening and not saying yes to the final question.

 I would argue that “I don’t know, I can’t say” is somehow a worse answer to a yes-or-no question, because it means that either you want to say yes but you’re scared of the consequences, or you sincerely don’t know what to say. All he had to do was say “No.” After he said “I don’t know,” Seguin continued and said, “They are weird.” If Benn had said, “No, actually they’ve been professional when I’ve worked with them and I won’t comment any more on their personal life,” Sequin might have noticed, and Benn might have encouraged him to change his behavior. Not saying “no” was a direct, demonstrable failure to show any kind of leadership.

-This counts as workplace sexual harassment. I’m not saying a case should have been pursued: that should have been at least partly up to the Sedins (although there should also be workplace rules about what is and isn’t acceptable without the victims having to ask for it). But that’s a word we can use for this, this could have been counted as that. Sexual harassment are actions based on a person’s gender, assigned sex, sexual activity, or other qualities related to sex, not just sexual attraction. I worry that often, conflicted feelings about putting people into the category of “Sexual Harasser” lead people to think that actions “aren’t bad enough” to be sexual harassment when they definitionally can be. In other lines of work, if you talk about your coworkers fucking their twins in the office, there are rules about that: at the very least, you’ll be getting a bunch of trainings and be moved to a part of the office where you won’t see them again.

In the NHL, it seems frighteningly clear that people don’t have recourse for sexual harassment. This was discussed and handled as a “childish insult”, not harassment against two coworkers/employees. Often, there’s a logic that something is just an insult, not a ‘real’ threat, because the person who did it couldn’t possibly be sexually attracted to the person they did it to.

-In 2015 Eric and Jordan Staal were living in identical houses outside Raleigh and ‘playing’ together every night. Seems super suspicious. Unless beefy Canadian boys’ behavior is normal, and European masculinity always has to be questioned as being softer-spoken, slimmer, more intellectual, scared of heavy hitting. There are a lot of reasons you might not call Eric Staal gay—maybe you know he’s bigger than you, more successful on Team Canada than you, more popular with the other Team Canada guys than you. Or maybe you just don’t look at him and think he could be gay. Or both. Eric is positioned so you’d have to punch up at him: Benn tried to position himself closer to that kind of social standing, by pushing someone else who already doesn’t quite fit in further out. This isn’t directly in the words, so I’m not all-out accusing them of xenophobia: what I mean is that it’s always worth asking if and how and why feminization is applied to Those Other People.

There’s the eating out thing. Which he sent to teammate Jason Demers, commenting “I feel like your (sic) the kind of guy who would”.

How misogyny is working here:

-the idea that this could have been funny or interesting or worth saying at all depends on the idea that vulvas are weird. Imagine if someone willing touched a cis woman with anything but their dick. Gosh.

-There’s no good explanation for what ‘the kind of guy who would’ was meant to mean. No one says, ‘Hey, do you do this widely mocked sex act? I don’t, but I think you would, and that’s cool and doesn’t affect your masculinity at all, bro, life is a rich tapestry.’

How power is working here:

-This counts as sexual harassment again. Even if asking a coworker (or really more like someone you shift-manage or who reports to you) ‘how do you fuck your partner?’ wasn’t, saying ‘you seem like you would do ___’ is. Again, I’m not saying that Demers has to feel that way about it, but he should have had options.

-Demers was also in a new relationship at the time, so this could be harassment to both him and his partner, who had no recourse when someone her partner has to work with/for comments on her body.

-I don’t think it was intended as sexual harassment. But there’s not really a nice explanation of what he meant to say. It seems like it was intended as an insult or a ‘warning’: ‘this is the way men are allowed and no allowed to be in our group, do you know your place?’

Around that time, the Stars shared a video of Benn, Seguin, and Valeri Nichushkin. Each were supposed to say a couple lines, including their name. Valeri pronounced his nickname ‘Vall’, with a native Russian accent, more like “Wall” in English. Each time Benn and Seguin laughed and questions him and the producer cut. After a couple takes Benn said, “I thought your name was ‘Val.’” 

Sequin physically turned away from Nichushkin and laughed. Nichushkin, not understanding the comment, and not laughing, turned to Benn for an explanation, but Benn only turned toward Seguin, both continuing to laugh.

It was part of a pattern of comments from observers: “If Tyler Seguin and Jamie Benn are having a laugh in the locker room, Nichushkin can only guess what’s so funny.” They themselves commented on how “His English is really not good at all…A lot of times we find him just sitting there.” “(In) normal conversations, he doesn’t really know what’s going on.”

I’ll give them credit—they said they felt pity and “try to help” too. I just can’t find any examples of them doing it, compared to teammates like Sharp or Spezza who can more concretely describe spending time with him.

Nichushkin chose to burn contract time in the KHL rather than Dallas before being bought out, expressing that he no longer felt like he “belonged in the NHL.” He felt that the Stars didn’t “trust” in him, was “nervous” in the locker room, and said his family worried for his mental health because of the culture.

“There is a bit of it because I want to be part of the conversation when someone says something,” Nichushkin said. “But I don’t have enough words I know so I can join in.”

-Is it the worst xenophobia in the world? Nah. It’s not free from xenophobia, when the only joke is that someone speaks differently than you. It’s not Benn joking about his own misunderstanding to invite Nichushkin in. I often point to Tripp Tracy, who asks players to teach him words in their language and then sets up jokes about his accent so they can deliver the punchline and laugh with him.

-Is it bullying? It kind of came off like it, to make a joke about someone you know can’t understand. At least it was unnecessary, and unkind. It’s just reminding someone they don’t belong.

-It’s unimpressive. It’s deflecting. Oh, he doesn’t know what’s going on? What did you do to tell to him? My family communicate through a mix of finger-signing, Scrabble tiles, and interpretive dance: I guarantee you, if you can’t communicate concepts like “we’re going to get dinner now, you’re welcome here, we’re having fun!”, you’re not trying. Which is fine, I guess, you don’t have to talk to people, unless it’s like, your job to work with your teammates.

Wanting to ban trans*feminine athletes from competition is based on a complete misunderstanding of math, medicine, and athletics; it’s unnecessary, unethical, and unkind.

It’s an unsurprising continuation of the ideas that there’s a line between men and women and transgressing it is suspicious, that women are gross, that people who are different are shocking and funny, that social pressure can and should be used to remind people who are different that they don’t belong.

It’s a fascist use of power, which I don’t say to mean that “He is A Fascist in every sense,” but that those beliesf express a desire and a comfort with using power to control other people’s bodies, and which bodies have access to certain spaces, to maintain “purity”.

I’m not saying that anyone should have looked at any of these things and easily decided in that moment, “That’s it, he’s shouldn’t have a platform or power over other players, he’s irredeemable.” You might look at a couple of them and think, “That’s not even a problem at all.” I’ll agree to disagree on some of them, but my point is about a pattern of how this dude uses the power he’s given.

I have a phrase, or more a series of words I sometimes yell when I’m talking about subjects like this—“STRUCK A TIM HORTONS.” I shout this in commemoration of the time that Ryan O’Reilly got drunk and drove his pickup into the wall of a small town Ontario Timmies.

“Struck a Tim Hortons” is a very good phrase to read in a police report. And, also, I’m an ACoA. I’ve experienced impaired driving, I’m terrified to shaking of it, and I know that other people have experienced much worse consequences. This isn’t a perfect metaphor (it’s not an example of prejudice or violence against a class of people, etc) but my point is that I try to hold it in my heart because that’s one case where I know what it’s like to really, really want something to just be NBD. Where part of me wants to just think it was a funny mistake so I don’t have to really think about the serious implications of it, and part of me super doesn’t. I have an instinct to resolve those feelings, to come down and decide that it’s either insignificant enough that I don’t have to think about it, or significant enough that I can hate him and then also stop thinking about it, and then I can have the relief of feeling just one feeling at a time.

I don’t think it’s bad to feel conflicted learning something about someone. I think it’s important.

But the problem is that if one thing isn’t significant enough, and we decide to keep thinking someone is fundamentally Good, we often toss that thing out. So when another thing happens, we only look at the new thing, trying to decide: is this enough? And that next thing might not be enough either. So we can go on and on, until you add up to a lot of things that have each done some harm, but none of them have been enough to change how we see and talk about someone.

Now I, personally, decided that the Timmies wasn’t so bad that ROR couldn’t ever make it up to me. But I didn’t decide to feel fine about it: I tried to just put a pin in how conflicted I felt. It’s been years, and over the years I think his actions have showed meaningful change. He hasn’t struck a Starbucks, a Dunkin, or even a Caribou. There’s a pattern.

I think a lot of people who don’t really like the things Benn says or does or believes have given him a lot of chances to make up for them, because they don’t want him to really mean those things. By which I really mean that I know there are a lot of women and queer fans who liked the guy. I get it (I don’t actually get it get it, but I mean I can try to understand people coming from a very different place than I do about him). 

I’ve read a lot of ways that people who are themselves vulnerable in our society try to empathize with him by imagining him as vulnerable too--he’s also experienced fatphobia, homophobia, he wasn’t expected to succeed, etc! I think that’s a wonderfully human instinct. But often I think people have more empathy for those experiences than he expresses for himself--he agrees that it was Bad to be fat and he’s Worked Hard to fit into the masculine norm, he agrees that it’s Bad to be close with another man and works to avoid it--and certainly more than he has showed in his actions toward others. If you’re going to say I hate him for saying that, I don’t--I want him and everyone in our society not to feel and do this shit!

I see a lot of people starting from the idea he is a good leader trying really hard to spin his choices as a smart strategy when he plays dumb with media, when he doesn’t give specific action plans or give public statements or apologies. (I actually agree with the first one, I think it is a strategy for him to avoid transparency and not do a part of his job that he doesn’t want to do.) It just…it seems like a lot of work to reach a pre-determined goal. It’s okay to like someone and for them to still not be good at their jobs! When I say I think a guy’s not a good leader, that’s not always the same as saying he’s a bad person. And if we keep on promoting a guy as a good leader because we like them regardless of their demonstrated leadership skills…that’s how we end up with a lot of shitty policies in the NHL.

Over the years he has consistently avoided stepping up to his captaincy and using his personal power to say things like, “No,” “Tyler, cut it out,” “This is what I’m going to do to fix a problem,” or “I believe in…” anything, really. 

I really, really want to ask people to be mad as hell and advocate for the NHL to improve its code of conduct and harassment processes. I do. But I’m also tired. I don’t think, if I did ask you that, it would work. I don’t have an argument for why you should be mad at someone who’s mad at my existence. I’m not trying. I just want to encourage you, if you’re feeling the tug of feelings and just want to be able to simplify someone’s behavior and love them in simple terms, to put a pin in the more complicated parts, and remember them the next time, and look for patterns.

[shimmershae]

So.  Thanks to my new anonymous friend, this is going to become a thing.

Shae’s thinky thoughts about the latest episode--Acheron:  Part 2--beneath a cut. 

Because spoilers, however vague they might be.  

Let’s be real here.  This is more a stream of consciousness than anything else so if that’s not your thing, you are most welcome to nope right on out of this post.  Trust me.  I’ll completely understand, lol.  Sometimes?  I wish I could nope right on out of my own brain and the way it operates.  

That said?  Without further ado--

Episode 2′s opening, though.  Maggie trapped with hungry Walkers converging?  It totally gives me Glenn under the dumpster vibes.  I don’t know if that was intentional or just happy coincidence but way to link Maggie to her dearly departed better half, show.  

Is it just me or has Father G had more OOMPH to him these last few seasons?  Again, I have to ask--Rosita’s influence or no?  Regardless, I bet Seth Gilliam is loving the job these days.  

Side note:  am I gonna have to go to bed early every Saturday night from now until the end just so I that I might be able to SEE?  Something?  Anything?  My curtains are flimsy-ass.  I admit it.  But this is more frustrating than TXF.  Angela, WTF?  

No, seriously.  It’s like complete guess work who’s in these subway scenes.  Some of that has to do with them being overly populated by redshirts and the rest of it has to do with me having to squint and turn sideways to make out their facial features. 

Look at Daryl busting through concrete walls!  Should I call him the Kool-Aid Man considering NR has once again allowed himself to be led right into a biased, shipper trap?  Hmm.  I might.  

Imagine seeking refuge in those dark, filthy subways.  Any second now I expect to hear the skittering of rats.  Will Dog lose his effing mind a la Divergence?  He’s been shown to go off half-cocked that way, lol.  Oh well.  Guess it’ll be in character if he does.  

Impressive graffiti storyboards.  Does it mean something that it immediately cuts to the Commonwealth storm troopers afterward?  Maybe.  Who really knows at this point?  They been trying to gaslight us forever.  

LOL at Princess yet again.  Yumiko is just like da fuq is this person?  

No, really.  LMAO.  “That was her.  From last night.  Did you see how she was looking at us?”  

Then you have Eugene, hahaha.  “Oh God.  Why did he tell off the big guy?”  Like the man is totally me in this type of situation.  Not even gonna lie.  

“That’s right.  We want to talk to the manager.”  

I literally cannot wait ‘til Carol and Daryl meet Princess.  Can.  Not.  Wait.  

How sad is that note on that $100 bill?  Small moment but it totally gives me Season 4 vibes when they were on their way to Terminus seeking sanctuary.  

Hmm.  Remember how that place wasn’t what they thought it was?  I’m sure neither is the Commonwealth.  But I feel like what’s left of Team Family is totally going to do Rick proud, lol, and prove they’re messing with the wrong people if they try something.  

Daryl, Man.  You gonna have to get a better handle on your headstrong Fur Son.  I wonder if Dog would listen better to his mama?  Things to ponder.  

Sounds like Miko has this group’s number.  Or does she?  

Princess and Eugene totally look like they’re waiting their turn for the Principal’s office, LOL.  

“Stop moving!  You’re taking my nerves over the edge to a proverbial 11 on a scale of 10.”  I feel you, Eugene.  I do.  Also you, Princess.  Two of the most relatable TWD characters right there, I’m telling you.  

Princess is me when I really, really, really have to pee.  TMI?  Sorry, lovelies.  LOL.  I just...she’s so relatable.  

LMAO.  “If that fine ass dude in the orange suit...”  Princess and Mercer incoming in 3-2-----

Princess’s excitement over the toilet paper=PRICELESS.  

Eugene, Man.  You desperately need to develop a poker face.  

There’s Daryl getting another cool camera shot.  Angela?  You playing favorites again?  

Carol’s claustrophobia could have never.  I bet that’s in the back of Pookie’s mind.  You can’t tell me it’s not because Carol lives in there rent-free.  

Ohhh.  Back to the subway car.  Looks like we got the Maggie redshirts leading the way.  First sacrificial “lambs”?  

Maggie pistol-whipping Negan was kinda deserved, but he wasn’t all wrong so.  

Damn.  I’m no Gage fan.  He can fuck all the way off for what he did to my baby Lydia.  But Maggie over there with ice in her veins.  

Yep.  I think the dude just got one of the most gruesome deaths in a while.  Yuck.  

I think Alden’s faith in Maggie definitely took several hits.  I feel like he kind of had her on some sort of pedestal dating back to Hilltop times.  Father G, though?  The man is continuing to show himself a SAVAGE MFer.  

Josh gives Eugene such believable tics and mannerisms.  He IS Eugene.  

Thank you, Maggie, for lighting that flare.  I could not see a damn thing.  

What are these bad memories Negan alludes to?  Hmm?  Him being a shit husband to Lucille back when he was still taking her for granted?  

Father G on Gage’s Walker--”All that is, is a shell of a man, who died a coward.”  Kind of ironic considering Father G’s own origins, huh?  Has he any warmth in there for anybody but Rosita and Coco?  Does he equate it with weakness?  

“There are worse ways.”  And Maggie proceeds to paint us a horror story with mere words.  

Dark Maggie really surpasses anything certain fans have ever accused Carol of being.  Is she too far gone?  Who the hell knows?  I think it’s clear that she and Carol are both on a sliding scale of sorts when it comes to being able to compartmentalize shit to survive.  Personally?  I feel like Maggie might have leap-frogged Carol in this episode but it matters none because of the double standards so deeply entrenched in this fandom.  Both women have endured and had to do some horrific things.  It’s not a contest.  But it’s probably going to be turned into a season-long one.  

It’s almost like Kang was like, “Ya’ll bitches think Carol’s dark?  I’ll show you DARK.  Check and mate.”  

Whatever the reasoning, Maggie just got exponentially more interesting to me if not likable.  And before anybody out there comes at me, it’s entirely possible to be on a character’s side in some things and not be all up their ass in love with them, lol.  Like I’m attached to her because she’s family and Glenn loved her.  There’s a loyalty there and she absolutely is justified in her hatred of Negan.  But I’m not going to pretend her shit don’t stink like everybody else’s.  

Speaking of my baby Glenn.  What would he think of this version of Maggie?  I think he would be gutted and heart stricken that events led to her being like this but he’d understand because he’s pure like that.  Don’t mean he’d be A-OK with it all.  

Dog must be protected at all costs.  

Confession.  I know not the fuck who Pony Boy is, but I know him because all my fandom friends have pointed him out to me, lol.  RIP, Man.  I think you’re number’s up or close to it.  

Okay, though.  I admit it.  I am kinda LOVING Badass Father G.  

That scene in the subway car with all of them working to take all the Walkers out was already badass.  Then Daryl arrived and made it, in @freefromthecocoon’s words, HAWT.  LOL.  

Eugene staring at that little black book like it contains torture tools, hehehe.  

“Processed?  As in administratively?  Processed as in bologna or other meat stuffs?  This inquiring (enquiring?) mind needs to know.”  OMG, Eugene.  I admit it.  Even if it makes me look like a lunatic, LOL.  I straight up LMAO at that one.  I mean, ten years later and Terminus still fresh on the man’s mind.  

“You like feeling nervous?”  Well, no.  None of us that do, Mercer?  Do.  

Then he proceeds to make me howl with his “You can’t lie for shit” to Eugene.  

Josh McDermitt?  I love you, Man.  40 year old virgin, LOL.  

All this talk over the seasons of Daryl’s virginity and we have Eugene, hahaha.  But was he telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?  

Finally.  Some daylight.  Where I can see.  

Eugene’s relief at seeing his friends safe and sound was such a beautiful thing to see.  I loved those hugs.  

Mercer’s face when he snarled “beat cop” in disdain to Ezekiel.  I think I’m gonna love this dude.  

“I went to West Point.  Asshole.”  Yeah.  I am.  

I know they probably catfishing Eugene right here because spoilers tell us that ain’t Stephanie.  But my heart still did a little d’aww.  Angela.  Don’t play with his poor heart like that.  

What’s got Daryl so pensive, huh?  Is it that the note reminds him of kids being lost or taken from their family? Or separated from their family?  Is he thinking of those Grimes babies and wondering if Michonne will ever make it back and why and how she was able to leave them behind?  Tell me it ain’t that Find Me nonsense.  

“This place sure has gone to shit since the last time I was here.”  LMAO, JDM.  I mean Negan.  Sorry.  Sorry.  I still hate Negan, but JDM has me entertained at least since they gave the asshole some shades of gray.  And speaking of shades of gray.  I’m loving the gray beard.  JDM’s looking GOOD (hear that NR?  Embrace the gray).  Negan can still kick rocks, lol.  

Anyway.  That scene was CREEPY AF.  Not even gonna lie.  

The Reapers strutting right on up to our group like it’s The Purge:  ZA.  

My bad, Pony Boy. Now RIP.  

Dark, dark episode with loads of tension broken up by some welcome humor by Princess.  The girl is fast becoming a fave of mine.  

My baby’s back next week!!!

I’m just going to plug my ears and pretend they’re trying to capture/recapture the horses because they’re pets.  Not because they’re starving so bad they feel the need to eat them.  La la la la la.  I can’t hear you.  

[takuyakistall]

I recently re-read his Dorm SSR personal story here! A few questions and thoughts lingered inside my head as I read it and it collectively got worse when @poisonepel​ started questioning things too. Which ultimately led to me writing this down while running on half a brain cell and a spoonful of rice for lunch. This isn’t necessarily an analysis but more of just me questioning a lot of stuff. I already pointed out things that are already obvious so it might get repetitive. Placed under the cut since it’s a bit lengthy! I tried my best to be coherent in the very least.

Rook’s Nickname for Jade - Rook calls Jade “Monsieur Mastermind” and perhaps you’re already telling me right now that I shouldn’t look deeper into this since it doesn’t look like it matters anyway but let me tell you right now that I tend to overanalyze things when it comes to Jade. I find it a bit odd how Rook calls Jade the mastermind, presuming that we’re talking about the Octavinelle trio, when it’s often Azul that’s shown to be as such. Of course, it’s been revealed that Rook analyzes or stalks nearly everything that happens to catch his interest (Jade’s Gym Personal). So it’s safe to presume that his judgement is, if not entirely correct, accurate. “Your staple food, your habits, your walking speed, when you sleep, your heart rate, how many times you blink… those and many others I have recorded perfectly.” Just by reading this line alone I became pretty sure that he observed something deeper than that--which is his personality.

       The question is, why is Jade the mastermind instead of Azul? Why is Azul’s nickname “Roi du Fort” instead of being the mastermind? Well, it might be common knowledge but Jade, in a way, controls Azul despite what it looks like to the public which is Azul controlling Jade since he, as the higher authority, has power over him. I read a popular post explaining why Jade probably undertakes the role of a servant rather than taking the position for himself knowing that he has the full capabilities to do so. This will be explained further later in a different note.

What I’m trying to imply is that behind the scenes, Azul isn’t really the mastermind behind everything despite what it seems. It’s Jade who’s really in control of things, by picking up the act of a servant or butler. 

“If the entire hierarchy collapses just due to the absence of a single person, then that proves that they aren’t all as great as they seem.” - I just had the need to point this particular line out since it just seemed so… Jade. Everything about this line just screams out the same vibes he radiates, cold and severe. I know he’s faking the whole thing about having a falling out with Azul and wanting to join Pomefiore but I think it is true that without him, Octavinelle won’t nearly be as great from when he was still there.

First of all, He’s Octavinelle’s vice-dorm leader. Surely, being in such a high position, he carries a lot of duties that only he can do as the acting vice leader. There’s also the fact that he does it superbly than other people which is why Octavinelle is the way it is right now, it would be hard to replace him. They would have to look for someone who’s on par with Jade, in the very least.

Secondly, he’s somewhat an emotional pillar to Azul. Judging from their childhood and current relationship as of now, I like to think that a big reason why Azul is the way he is right now, is because of Jade and Floyd acting as his emotional support or whatever even though they insist that their relationship is purely just for business and will drop it if it’s no longer beneficiary to them. The main reason why I think that way is because of the Octavinelle CM which has a scene of Azul holding a bubble in between his hands. Inside the bubble were the twins in their eel forms. The next thing that happened--the bubble popped and disappeared, along with the tweels inside it. We could see the horror on Azul’s face when it happened in that scene and slowly led to the overblot scene which says a lot about how Azul views the twins. Have a more detailed explanation regarding their relationship here! Summary, Azul will lose his shit if Jade were to disappear. Now, where is Octavinelle in all of this? Probably a mess in the corner right there with their dorm leader not in his right state of mind. In short, Octavinelle will probably crumble under the absence of Jade. The reason why Octavinelle is still functioning under Azul’s command during this whole stunt Jade is making is precisely because Azul knew that it was all an act.

"Jade’s excellence in everything he does is renowned even among the Dorm Leaders. He might be a super secretary or something to be able to answer Azul's difficult requests." - Vil's words to Rook during their little talk about letting Jade into Pomefiore. This stuck out to me because back then I didn't really give this much thought but now that I'm re-reading this, it makes me wonder how good is Jade at his job as a Vice Dorm Leader? These words coming from Vil hold a certain weight I can't describe, for him to say that his excellence is renowned even among the Dorm Leaders and to be described as a Super Secretary.

For Jade to have earned this kind of reputation despite being in the land for only two years so far is quite a feat! I would've expected less from someone else but this is Jade we're talking about so, ignoring his terrible weakness in flying, I can assume that Jade worked hard for him to have reached this kind of performance level in such a short time. To be recognized by almost all of the Dorm Leaders isn't an easy feat.

Jade as an attendant - During his first day as Vil's attendant, Vil mentioned how off-putting he is from the fact that Jade was almost too good for someone on their first day. "You managed to get on such friendly terms with the stuffy and straight-laced people of the industry in such little time; and you were also perfect when it came to helping out with the shooting. You've worked much harder than I thought you would." His words. I think this is due to the nature of Jade's silver tongue, which is being able to speak in a way that makes other people do or believe what you want them to do or believe. It seems very fitting for a character like Jade.

Because of the recent personals that got released for Jade, namely the Birthday SSR, they talked about family there and it got me thinking quite a bit as to how Jade can speak so eloquently especially now that I've read that he managed to get on the good side of people who are probably way older than he is and straight-laced, no less. He vaguely mentioned their family background when he was telling a story from his childhood and said how different people would come over to their party and offer them presents. I'm assuming that these people are possibly older than he is, judging from the fact that one of them attempted to give the twins liquor despite them being at a young age, and I thought that maybe Jade grew up used to being surrounded by adults to the point where he picks up a lot of speech patterns and habits. Which inevitably leads to what he is right now. Nothing is confirmed yet, this is a mere thought I had.

Jade's past with Azul - It's briefly mentioned here in the story. Jade mentioned how there weren't as many mer-folk as there are humans so they were all basically put in the same class together during elementary school. Azul didn't catch his interest back then, it seems. He mentioned not being able to remember the very reason why the three of them—Jade, Floyd, and Azul—ended up together currently in Night Raven College.

I am genuinely curious as to what actually made the twins interested in someone like Azul. Correct me if I'm wrong but they did mention it in Chapter 3, right? Was it the growing interest when they finally took notice of Azul using his unique magic on basically everyone who fell into his trap? Someone tell me the details if it was ever mentioned, my memory is failing me.

“Tenebres” - The shoe brand Vil wanted to get his hands on but unfortunately did not obtain, particularly, the Mirror Shoe. "Tenebres" apparently only sells their products to people who they deem worthy for designs, even the designer themselves has yet to make a public appearance as they are shrouded in mystery. Vil didn't have enough time to acquire it but, surprise! Jade Leech has somehow managed to get his perfect hands on the pair of red shoes Vil wanted so much. Frankly enough, Vil was impressed he managed to obtain something he could not—alone, no less.

This is just me pondering but this particular line made me wonder, "Heh, they did some at the cost of a bit of trouble. No matter, how about you try these on instead of dwelling on the matter?", to what lengths did he actually have to go through to obtain just a pair of shoes? Or rather, what connections does he have to be able to obtain this so easily and brush it off with a mere, "cost of a bit of trouble" when clearly Vil already expressed the difficulty in obtaining these?

Another note I have to make but not completely sure if it's relevant is his family. As I've said before, they mentioned that they deal with a lot of people due to the nature of their business and that made me wonder if the designer/owner of this certain shoe brand is one of them? Perhaps Jade was able to easily contact them because of connections his family has although Floyd's wish in the event Stars & Wishes contradicts this possibility.

In Floyd's wish, he mentioned wanting a pair of shoes and Idia immediately asked him why he couldn't just buy them. Floyd answered with a simple, "I can't usually get them." Because of the price. Which, again, contradicts my theory about the Leech family being connected to the shoe brand. Although! Vil did mention how the shoe brand only sells it to people they deem worthy. Perhaps, Floyd isn't…? No—it still wouldn't explain how easily Jade got the shoes and had the brand get Vil a job there as an ambassador. Surely, that isn't due to just any normal connections anymore. Definitely shady, I want to know more.

Jade is in control - As I've said earlier, Jade is somewhat in control despite playing the role of a servant. Prime example is when Vil told him his throat was parched, Jade immediately acted upon it fully knowing what his original intentions were. He gave Vil a drink that the Mostro Lounge was apparently serving without having Vil question it further and even went as far as to let Jade take a picture and post it—even he decided the caption for the post! With a simple flow of events just like that, Jade has managed to manipulate Vil without him knowing. He did it all while taking in the role of a servant and that in itself says a lot about how he does things

I think it's worth it to take note of the fact that Jade does not like bringing attention to himself and merely brushes it off as mere shyness of some sorts when really, all he wants to do is lay low and draw as little attention to himself. It makes his job easier that way—perhaps that's the reason why he lets Azul take the spotlight all the damn time.

Another thing to take note of is something I saw from a post in Tumblr which basically sums up the whole reason why Jade is always adopting the butler persona wherever he goes. It's because he likes to be in control that way—you'd let down your guard around him and let him serve you. You want a drink? He'll serve you a drink but-! He is in control over what you will get. That's exactly what happened in this exact scene, Vil waltzed right into the center of Jade's palms.

Vil never noticed - I'm not saying Vil is dumb, because he is most definitely not. Although through the very end, I don't know if it's just because Vil got carried away with the feeling of achievement taking over him due to recent events but he did just brush away the reason why Jade was in Pomefiore in the first place and let him go away peacefully, "So long as he doesn't bare his fangs at us." In other words, Jade managed to outsmart Vil and possibly, Rook.

This is probably one of the reasons why I am confident enough to say that Jade truly is one of the most cunning bitches in the entire game because this whole ordeal just pretty much proved it.

Aftermath - There we go! We got an explanation about how Jade managed to manipulate and use Vil for his own gains err, in this context, probably Azul's. When Jade took a picture of Vil with the drink and posted it, he did it with the intention of taking advantage of Vil's popularity and viewer reach. Jade expressed his thankfulness when he mentioned how Vil saw him as "useful" perhaps his reputation prior helped him reach his goal? 

Azul praised Jade with something along the lines of "As expected of you, Jade. You're the best Night Raven's College has to offer when it comes to sneaking into another's pockets after all." Which really just backs up some of the statements I made earlier about how Jade manipulates people by letting people let their guard down around him while thinking they're the ones who have power over Jade when clearly it's not as simple as it seems. Azul mentioning that only Jade could pull off something like this just puts me off for some reason but I'll leave it be for the time being.

After that, Jade and Azul had a conversation that started with Azul asking him if he had any difficulties during his stay in Pomefiore and if he had any troubles keeping up with Vil. Jade, jokingly(?), responded that it was nothing compared to Azul's demands and orders and his time at Pomefiore was actually a vacation of some sorts for him. Which really makes me wonder what jobs does Azul usually give him if this one was somewhat of a break for Jade? A task that seemed impossible to Floyd, Jade said it was a vacation. It's a bit frightening but I guess that's his charm? Hard-working is one way to put it. 

That's the end of my Dorm SSR mini-analysis, I guess! Thank you for sticking with me till the end even though a lot of these might be repetitive. I'll probably add more depending on future brainrot but for now, this is fine. Feel free to tell me what you think about this!

[taeslovehandles]

I never meant to target you and I'm sorry you felt that way. You properly tag everything and adhere to the "don't like, don't read" rule. I don't follow you nor you follow, because we simply don't vibe together and that's okay.

But there are posts that are on the more "innocent" side that do represent fat people as a joke and it's like they don't even realize it because it's something so well ingrained in our fatphobic society.

For example, all the characters are having fun except the fat one or referring to someone as "twice his size" (like... If they want to say he's huge, they should just say it, not imply that there's a "right size" for someone to be).

I don't think authors should censor themselves, just acknowledge the role they play in how fat characters are perceived by the community they write for.

-🍓

First of all, since you obviously haven’t blocked me, you could have come to me via direct message. This is not a topic that needs to be brought out into the public eye even more than it already is. I have worked with anons before, I would have been the last person to reveal who you are. You could have made a trash account to message me in dm’s, but since you didn’t, I will reply to you here.

I want to make one thing clear. This will be my last response on the topic. If you do not like me as a member of the community please use the block button and filter me out, because I will stay. I have many friends here, and know that many people enjoy my content. Just because a small handful of people don’t appreciate dark themes in fiction, the contents of which they can easily protect themselves from, won’t make me falter.

Now, I want to debunk this ask because your ‘apology’ actually made me very upset.

I know you don’t mean it when you say you are sorry because you’re backpedaling on what you’ve told your friends and it really rubs me the wrong way. You could have owned up to your mistakes and apologized sincerely like others had but you continue to play victim and excuse your behaviour with tales of your own trauma, projecting your own insecurities onto my blog and thus hating me.

I know for a fact that you despise my blog, especially my writing, because you do not like how “obviously skinny people write about weight gain.”

Honey.

I couldn’t be any further from skinny.

I don’t mind sharing my actual weight, which has actually gotten worse due to COVID. I weigh 490lbs. I am morbidly obese. I have always been morbidly obese. For you to come and be “nitpicky” about a genre you don’t even enjoy? Why are you even reading my fics then?

The way I write about obese people, their struggles with literally everything… that comes from real life experience. I write this to share embarrassing and exhausting daily life tasks I personally struggle with.

A skinny person would never write some of the stuff I do, because they simply don’t know. They don’t know how scary it is to hear the line “we are going to a restaurant.” They don’t know how scary it is to go into that new restaurant, scan the chairs and think “Shit, am I gonna fit? Is the chair gonna creak? Is there enough space for the next table? What if I won’t fit?” A thin person doesn’t have to think this way.

And, let me tell you something else. Yes, I agree. The world is fatphobic.

In one of my recent posts I talked about movies and shows where they make fun of fat people because I hate it. Because it is REAL LIFE. And I am all for the body positivity movement and I do believe that all bodies are beautiful, because they are.

You do not know me personally.

And that leads to my next point. If you personally have issues with the phrase “twice my size”, then that is on you. And guess what? I cannot count how often I’ve heard lines like that my whole life.

“Oh wow two people would fit in one of your pant legs.”

“Wow, you are so fat, I could use your pants as a tent.”

So trust me, I know. I KNOW. But anon, this is the important part for me. Everyone processes trauma differently.

Inked ch3? Or literally any story I have written with a fat character being forced, insulted and talked down to like they’re dumb? That’s what I have been living with my entire life. Most of these stories, some obviously more extreme than how I had experienced them since it’s fiction, have been recordings of trauma I have went through.

My own dad force fed me. Forced me to eat food and gain weight. My first boyfriend was a feeder that manipulated me into gaining more weight and took measurements. Called me pig names and abused me. Hit me, manipulated me into having s** with him and then let all of his fantasies out on me.

I don’t make this shit up. I hate my brain for being so twisted now, that I actually find it hot and arousing. It’s weird. I know, but that’s how it is.

I’ve also never had friends in school. Not even kindergarten. Why? Because my “fat incased body could spread like a virus.” I was being bullied like JK was in Pondus.

I had hot water thrown at me, got glue put on my seats and hair, had my hair ripped out and even got a cigarette burn mark on my arm. Just because I was fat. Just because of how my body was shaped.

I was strangled and locked into a small locker for a night. I was almost killed for running away from my abusive dad from his car and had to listen to things like, “You are going to die when you are 30. No one will ever love you and your body.” That I have trust issues now and am paranoid about everything and everyone.

Those dark stories. I use those dark stories to try to work through my trauma. And yes, it may be absurd to you. It may disgust you, what I write. But sadly, most of it? Most of it really happened to me. To me and other people I’ve talked to as a friend or seen online. Most of what I write will be dark because the human species is made up of terrible creatures.

Fatphobia is an important topic, and I am happy the media has been slowly getting better about it, that people accept us more. But my writing is how I work with my trauma. If I can make fictional characters feel the same things I had to feel, that makes me feel better.

And I’m not hurting anyone with it. So how is it wrong?

I do not support any of this behaviour in real life. I never bullied anyone, I always try to speak up for my friends and tell people if they are being assholes. Because I hate them too and it makes me angry when good people get shit when they do nothing but breathe.

And how @pudgecuddles already said. I don't need you to advocate for body positivity and all that shit when you go out of your way to bully someone that may have experienced the same shit you have. I do not know you or what you went through in your life, but I am sorry. I’m sorry you feel like my stories aren’t okay to write, but this is how I work on my trauma and I need you to respect that.

I’ve said this before. We don’t have to be friends, or even talk to each other.

Just be neutral.

Block me. Filter me out. Pretend I don't exist. But, whatever you do, don’t make posts that call me out while making it obvious you’re talking about me, with the cover that you are advocating against fatphobia. That’s got a name. Cyber-bullying.

Have you hurt me with those posts? Yes you have, but I’ve never wanted bad blood. As you may have noticed, it wasn’t me that made a post. It was my good friend. Because I told her how exhausting it was and she knew about the posts back then.

I have a good idea of who you are.

I remember you.

But I kept my mouth shut. Because this community is my home and the last thing I wanted was for the people who like both of our types of content to feel like they have to choose sides.

In the end, we all rub one out to fat gay boys in a band. No user is better than the rest, and if there are topics you do not enjoy, there is a button for it. No need to drag everyone into it with posts. It’s exhausting and irritating.

Now, I do not accept your apology because you lied to me and I also do not feel like you meant it sincerely knowing what I know now after reading some dm’s. But I also won’t sit here and start shit.

This is my last post about this.

Please block me and enjoy the content you do like.

Nonetheless, I hope you have a nice day and a lovely weekend. Whatever you are experiencing or going through, I hope it gets better. Because even if you hate me personally for creating content you do not support, I’d say that I am a really friendly and nice person.

I do not believe that anyone deserves to be bullied like that and talked down in official posts. It happened before with a friend of mine and you probably remember that I did speak up about it.... But apparently no one learned from it. I really hope this time you do.

Insult me and shit talk me all you want in dm’s, but don’t do it publicly. No one deserves that kind of hate or passive aggressiveness. No one. Since you sound like someone that went through a lot of shit too, you should know better. You should know how it feels to be bullied and what damage it can cause.

I’m already depressed enough and I have bad lows. Let me write my erotica and just enjoy it? That’s all I want? I am a part of this community just like you were. You leaving because you did not like my content, is not my problem. If you cannot block me or ignore it and go so far as to read them and then rant about them negatively, what do you want me to do? I won’t leave the scene just because you don’t like me.

So, you either trash talk me in dm’s from now on so that I do not see it, or you block me. The latter of which would be the more mature thing to do. The more humane thing to do. Because talking behind someone’s back is just as bad.

Again, I don’t know why you felt like it was necessary to send me an ask with lies in it when I got screenshot proof of something else you have said/issues with, so don’t backpedal on me. I know Hun. I know already.

At least stick to what you said and actually apologize or, if you can’t, just block me.

But this ask? This ask just upset me.

Have a nice day.

p.s: The fact that this even needs to be talked about is so absurd and ridiculous to me. The whole thing is a petty party in my eyes that isn't even worth anyone's time? Do people on here really not have any other issues right now or am I in the wrong movie?