#asking bc a lot of ppl think i am X or it feels like a lot

[3-aem]

ppl who dont know my gender what did u identify me as in ur brain im so curious

[snekdood]

i feel like u shouldnt be allowed to say someone has an ideology if they dont even know wtf you're talking about

[tremendum]

Mr. Miller's Injury ; Mr. Miller viii

[not my gif] pairing: joel miller x fem!reader (afab, some use of she/her, use of the words girl/woman) rating: explicit. [18+. mdni] word count: 7.8k summary:  ❝"you aren't doing anything, Mr. Miller," you tilt your head, bending to fit level with his face. "if you recall, you're too injured to even leave the bed."❞ warnings: storm vibes, fairly tame compared to other parts, being stood up, dom!reader, sub!joel (FINALLYYYY), brief slapping, injured!Joel, anger, spitting, brief edging, choking, PiV unprotected, this is porn with no plot, masturbation, slight voyeurism, begging, degradation, age gap kink if you squint, calling joel 'old man', v brief praise kink, lots of pet names SORRY notes: thank u all for ur patience, it's been SO LONG. I am sorry this isn't the longest update but i hope you still enjoy! switching things up a bit bc they're learning to Talk about their Feelings <3 finally <3 there will be another update v v soon as well!!! hope you all enjoy. [previous. this is part eight of the Mr. Miller series.] [masterlist]

[important - i no longer use a taglist. I've made a notifs blog - @tremendumnotifs - for ppl to follow for notifications. tysm!!] ★  

to say you're pissed is an understatement. 

forty-five minutes, you huff as you stare at the ground, forty-five minutes standing alone, looking like a fool in this fucking dress. 

the rain sloshes down on you, sending muddy streams down the sidewalk and under your boots to kiss the streetwater. it's been raining for days - ever since that black out the other night, it's barely let up; you're getting permanently used to your hair heavy from the drops. you glare sharply down at yourself, watching as sheets of water slap against your soaked corduroy jacket - the vibrant thread that sewed it together again all those weeks ago wilted by the water. you pull your jacket tighter over yourself, as if that could help at all. 

you shouldn't fucking be out here right now, getting soaked to the bone. 

sighing harshly, you squint up the street to your own house, lights off and waiting sadly; when you'd left, you'd expected not to return until the morning, anyways. 

but here you are, an hour later, dateless and more furious than you've been in ages.

you feel like a fucking idiot.  

serves you right for trusting that Joel would bother to put on a nice button-up and walk down to the bar to see you. 

you try not to glare against the rain when you pass his house; the lights are glowing from the upstairs window, and your blood boils - he's probably in there sitting around doing nothing because he's too terrified to be a man and face you in person. the bitter taste in your mouth only grows at your brief concern - you didn't see him yesterday at all, but you'd just assumed he was on patrol. 

you're about fifteen steps away from your your front door, already planning on downing a whole bottle of liquor in your bathtub by the time you hear it. 

someone shouting your name. 

turning your neck, you spot Ellie, waving her arm from only twenty feet away; the onslaught of drops has quickened, and you can't hear what she's saying. gritting your teeth, you trudge over to her, trying to hide your exasperation, "what's going on?" 

"been looking for you!" is what she shouts as you walk towards her, shouting through the rain. "-just asking where you've been lookin' like that." she gestures to your dress, one definitely meant to wear at backyard barbecues and not in the middle of torrential downpours. she pulls you by the wrist onto their porch; the lights flicker slightly and it's just barely less dry - you ignore the wall behind you, thinking back to all those months ago when Joel'd had his cock shoved down your throat with your head pressed up against it. 

you blink away the memory, anger simmering in your stomach; you ignore the heat in your abdomen. 

"I had plans." you grunt, crossing your arms. her brows raise doubtfully; so full of sass for a teen. "you seen Joel lately?" you ask, hoping to sound nonchalant; she must pick up on the anger that flows from you; frowning, she jerks her head, "seen him? that's why I was lookin' for you. I've been babying him all day." 

you stare at her, lifting a brow. "babying?" you parrot. 

she frowns, tilting her head; the water sprays in a mist onto you, out of the direct exposure but still splattering fat sheets of rain onto your ankles. "didn't Tommy tell you?" she asks, but you're nearly out of patience. 

you sigh sharply, "no, I haven't seen Tommy. been busy all day at the gardens dealin' with this shit."

this shit has been stressing you out beyond belief - a near monsoon in fucking Wyoming, drowning the crops you very desperately need for the commune. root rot is one thing, but losing all the food you'll need for months is something else. 

"well, neither have I, but if you see him, tell him I could use a hand with his brother." Ellie sasses, arms crossing. for a moment, you nearly laugh - she's standing like Joel, a look of defiance in her eyes. she huffs, "I've been trying to keep Joel in bed, but you know how stubborn he can be. he got injured on patrol yesterday."

a flicker of concern betrays the anger in your heart. you blink at Ellie. "injured? he's injured?"

she glances towards the door then back at you, her own shirt pelted with rainwater. "he dislocated his shoulder. it's pretty bad."

you let out an exasperated sigh; that's where he's been? fucking injured and didn't bother to tell you? you purse your lips, feigning calm as you actively fight off the sense of embarrassment at your own irritation. "I can help you, don't worry." you promise, wishing you'd had a chance to change out of the dress. "if you want a break, I'll make sure he doesn't kill himself for a while." even if you wish he would. 

she smiles, nodding as she turns on her heels, "thank you - you know how he is. didn't even mention he was hurt 'til I found him trying to hide it. been trying to tough it out, I guess."

you follow her into the house, gritting your teeth as you wring water out of your hair. "unbelievable," you mutter under your breath. 

Joel is lying in his bed. 

You resist the arousal that climbs at the vision of him outstretched in bed, propped perfectly on a pillow, hair grown out and curling; instead seething with irritation at him. 

"what the hell is this, Miller?" you say in lieu of a greeting, crossing your arms the second he makes eye contact with you. he's surprised to see you, but not as surprised as you'd hoped.

he looks as terse as ever, eyes darting from you to Ellie, who lingers in the doorway. he grunts, shifting slightly and wincing. "hurt m'self." 

you resist a laugh of disbelief, smiling sarcastically, "I can see that." 

he is too fucking stubborn - you're too fucking stubborn, too; there's a beat, then you give in, "you couldn't have sent someone to tell me not to show up? I looked like a complete dick down there by myself." you snap, wounded. he rolls his eyes, "well I sent her to ya, didn't I?" he snaps, gesturing to Ellie with his good hand. she shakes her head, throwing her hands up, "I don't want any part in...whatever this is." 

she disappears after muttering something about finally getting some peace and quiet - it's silent until you hear her bedroom door slam, the rain pelting down against the windowpanes. 

unable to hide any longer in the quiet, you cross your arms. he sighs. "look..." he mutters, wincing as he sits up slightly. "I'm sorry I couldn't find ya. y'don't deserve t'be sittin' alone by yourself like that." 

you clench your jaw, nodding, "you're right, Joel. I'm sorry you're hurt, I understand, it's just-" your doubts creep back in and you shake your head. "I don't know what I thought." you chicken out, looking away. 

you hear his breathing; it seems to move with your chest - a patient, quiet breath that waits for your anger to subside. 

"this ain't 2003, sweetheart," he finally says, but there's a warmness in his voice; it is wholly familiar and foreign at the same time. "can't jus' text you to let y'know I fell and dislocated my shoulder." he sighs gruffy; you huff, walking closer to the bed. "yeah, that and if it was 2003, I'd still be learning to ride a bike." 

his eyes are sharp on you - a reminder of that unspoken thing, that tension that lives between you and him, pushes you further "don't." he says lowly, eyeing you stormily as the rain forges on outside. "don't remind me of why I shouldn't be doin' this." 

the hesitation that always lingers between you sneaks up like mist through a forest; you push at it, wading through until you're next to where he reposes in bed. you can't resist the smirk that plays at your lips. "you aren't doing anything, Mr. Miller," you tilt your head, bending to fit level with his face. "if you recall, you're too injured to even leave the bed." 

he hums, eyes stirring with that playfulness that you never quite expect; he tilts his chin up and it's all you can do to not kiss the lips that part beneath you. "c'mere an' make me feel better then, would'ya?" 

you lift a brow, letting your lips brush just over his cupid's bow, imbued with the thick hairs of his mustache. you shake your head gently; he thinks everything's fine after a measly sorry? 

"really?" you whisper against his lips, "you expect me to come play nurse and give myself to you just like that?" you tut. a swirl of desire in your gut when his good hand slides up the back of your thigh, squeezing the round of your ass. 

you hope he cannot see the goosebumps up your thighs at his touch. 

"y'didn't even play nurse." he argues, tilting his head up at you. you cross your arms, unimpressed; he sighs sharply. "sweetheart, 'm sorry." he offers again. you roll your eyes, "whatever, Joel." you whisper, leaning close to him; the way he looks up at you is saccharine; revenge must be the only thing sweeter. an idea creeps into your mind; a taste of his own medicine.

you let your lips brush his, but then pull back slightly. "if I can wait for you, you can wait for me." you say, pressing a chaste kiss to Joel's lips. his eyes are no longer clouded in that warm brightness; no, he is cloudy with irritation. you bite back a grin as you pull away from him, eyeing the chair next to the bed. "the fuck's that mean?" he grunts, eyes hawkish as they travel with you, lowering until you're comfortable in the chair. you let his gaze travel the expanse of your legs; the dress you chose to wear to your date is soaked - it sticks to your thighs and reveals more than you'd expect - you don't shy away, though. when it's Joel, you can never shy away.

"what are you doin'?" he questions again, voice deep with growing interest. 

you smirk sultrily, tilting your head as you hum, propping your foot just next to his leg, on display for his gaze. 

you spread your legs gently, letting your hands explore the planes of the body you know so well; over your chest, you flick wet strands of hair away from your slick skin before skimming over your curves. a flicker of lightning in the window and Joel's eyes are darker than before; you hum, "I'm keeping you company, Joel." you simper, letting the strap of the dress slip slowly off your shoulder on one side, your hand traveling down your chest and imagining his own rough, calloused ones. "unless you'd prefer I leave?" you ask with a small pout. 

"I'd prefer if you stop bein' a brat and get the fuck over here." he snaps; patience worn thin, you just smirk, knowing he's enjoying the display of your body for him in the dark room. 

you slowly lift the hem of your skirt up, over your hips; his eyes hungrily devour the lace you wore - a treat for him at the end of your date, you'd thought - now teasing.

you make a show of slipping a hand into your underwear, gasping gently as your fingers slide through your folds. you flush at the arousal that has gathered there - there might be something to say about how turned on you get when you're pissed at Joel - yet you let yourself relax, gently moaning as you rub your sensitive clit with one finger. 

Joel sits up, his eyes dark and lip caught between his teeth as he watches you; he winces slightly, but ignores the pain, “let me.” he says, trying to sound authoritative. you just smirk, shaking your head. “no.”

Joel ought to learn to be patient.

so you resume, your finger gently sliding inside you;  it’s nowhere near how it feels when Joel touches you, but you'd never dare admit such secrets out loud. instead, you add another finger; curling them, you let out a moan, biting your lip only when you remember there is another person in the house. thankfully, the rain slams on the windows hard enough to mask what noise you've let escape your lips. 

Joel stares at you as if it's torture; you can see his own arousal growing in his pants; even as he adjusts, his brows drawn and breathing sharp. sliding the other strap off your shoulder, you let the top of your dress fall; your breasts on full display, nipples perking at the cold nip of the air. 

"god damn it," he hisses, "quit your fuckin' teasing." 

you don't, though: and he cannot conceal the groan he lets out as you push your chest out, arching your back as you start to thumb your clit. pleasure courses through you, soaking your panties as you watch Joel watch you. 

his hand barely twitches before you shake your head, "don't touch yourself." you snap, eyes sharp as you watch his palm press over his obvious hard-on. 

he glares at you. 

"y'think you can tell me what to do?" he snaps, eyes sharp though you can see the flush on his cheeks at your words. this makes you stop; instantly you're pulling your fingers out of yourself, sitting forward - his eyes widen only slightly when you stand, suddenly standing over him again. 

he is a dream - laid back, cheeks red and eyes sharp from the tease, straining nearly out of his pants in his desire. he pants, swallowing as you trail your fingernails over his chest slowly; up, higher... 

your hand wraps around his throat - it looks small, next to his tanned skin, but the way he swallows, the way his cock twitches - he loves it. you do, too. you lift a brow. "don't think I won't fucking leave you here like you left me alone at the Bison." tilting your head, you smirk. "someone has to put you in your place, right?" 

his jaw is taut as he blinks at you, not daring to argue. you tilt your head, staring at him until he rolls his eyes, shaking his head. "fine, darlin'." he grunts, "have it your way." 

his hand slides away from his crotch and with a satisfied smirk, you let go of his throat. "don't move your hand from the mattress unless you want me to leave." you snap, sending him a look, "okay?" 

his jaw ticks, as if deciding how much power to give up. he sighs sharply, "fine."

satisfied at his answer, you slide your underwear off your legs, leaving the dress on your torso.

Joel swallows hard, cheeks pink with desire as you climb up onto his lap; his eyes watch you warily, knowing you well enough to know you wouldn't give in this easily. 

and you haven't. 

instead you slide back slightly onto his thighs, relieving the brief pressure of your heat over his clothed cock; you snake your hand down, returning your fingers to your heat to find the velvety arousal waiting for you. he watches with lidded eyes and a slacked jaw. sighing, you wiggle your hips, gasping as the tips of your fingers brush your sensitive clit. your other hand rises to pinch a nipple gently, eyes locked on Joel's. he's halfway delirious - exasperated, irritated, melting with desire. 

"is this better, Joel?" your voice drips with antagonism as you slowly slip two fingers into your dripping cunt, "you wanted me close, didn't you?" 

he says nothing; watching you, his hips move with yours, providing you with friction as you touch yourself on his lap. a muttered curse under his breath until you whine gently, fingers stretching yourself as you wish it was him. 

"god damn it." he mutters, head falling against the pillow, staring up at the ceiling as if in silent prayer. you can see him searching for some god, high up there, who will take him out of this torturous pleasure. there is a burning desire, a sweet pride, knowing that you are the only one who can. "-gonna be the death of me, darlin'." 

it is not the first time he's said this. in fact, the night you first fucked around with Joel he said something very similar as you walked the patrol logs to Maria and Tommy's; the memory makes you flush, the anticipation, the butterflies, the shock. 

the first time Joel put his hands on your skin, caressed you, fucked you. 

"y'gonna let me fuck you, sweetheart?" his voice always slips into that Texan accent more when he is aroused; the heat spreads over your body and goosebumps crawl over your legs as you let your head fall back - moaning his name, you thumb your clit gently. it never feels good enough when you do it yourself; hiding this truth, you hum, sending Joel a salacious smirk. "if you want me, you're going to have to beg for it." 

this seems to have brought him back to Earth, back to this bed, to remember who it is that straddles him, who it is he desires most in this town. he bristles at your play for dominance. "-oughta fuck you 'til you remember who you're talkin' to. remember your manners." he snaps - his desperation is leaking through; you can only smile knowingly as you buck your hips on his thick thighs. pleasure starts to pool in your stomach as you tilt your head back, your thumb flicking over your sensitive nipples. he watches the movement like a hawk; angry, straining with pleasure but unable to do anything against your ministrations.

you lean yourself, not daring to stop your movements - instead, your hand slips from your breast to return itself to Joel's throat; squeezing as you feel yourself tremor with ecstasy. the want in his eyes drives you forward. 

"where are your manners, old man?" you whisper, breath hot as it fans across his lips. "standing up a pretty girl like me?" you tut, shaking your head. "such a mean man. you know, I could have my pick here in Jackson-" you sigh, feeling yourself pulse with your imminent high, your fingers pumping into yourself and pleasure coursing through you. 

he lets out a sigh, a whisper upon your own lips, "-I know, baby." he grunts, hips bucking against yours, seeking any kind of friction for himself. something about his desire, how you've rendered Joel Miller completely desperate and breathless for you, nearly pushes you to the edge. 

"-fuck, 'm sorry, darlin'," he grunts; his hand grips the sheet below him, his voice quieted with the knowledge that Ellie remains somewhere in the house. You swirl your hips, nearing your high as your head tilts back; you move, your tits bouncing as you do, gasping gently. a part of you wishes to see how far you could push it - could he cum in his pants like this, barely touched? 

but a yearning desire to be filled by him overtakes that thought. 

"see-" you cut yourself off with a quiet, sweet moan, pulsing around yourself, "see how wet I am?" you spread your thighs open further, leaning back; his eyes, hungry and unrelenting, stare down at the apex of your thighs, where you've made a wet patch upon his pants, where you fuck yourself on your fingers. "yeah, baby. let me feel that pretty pussy, then." he grunts.

you lift a brow. Joel lets out a desperate moan, eyes rolling gently as you pitch your hips forward, grazing his straining cock. You eye him coyly. "where's that please you love to hear so much, Joel?" you hum, your thighs trembling as you stave off your orgasm. "or have you already forgotten how to speak?" 

his eyes strain as he resists the urge to put his palm over you - your tits, your face, your cunt - you grin in satisfaction. good. "jesus," he grunts, "lord- just-" he clenches his jaw, hips bucking up against you; you gasp at the friction it causes, pushing your palm into your clit hard. "-let me fuck you." he tries to order.

you shake your head, "beg for it." you says, breathless as you scrunch your eyes shut, nearing your orgasm. "beg for me, Joel." you say again, clenching- so close- 

his grip finds your hand, tugging you away from your seeping cunt so quick you barely know what's happening. you gasp, eyes flying open; his eyes are not nearly as sharp as they were- no, they're begging, pleading: wide, staring up at you like you floated down from Heaven above. 

"-don't cum yet, please." he says, voice breathless, "wanna feel you 'round me. promise, I'll do anything you want, anything - please." 

you could cum untouched at just the words, the arousal dripping from his lips, the way his eyes drink you in like he never wants to see anything else. 

the breath tumbles out of your lips, staring at him with satisfaction, your own cheeks flushed. "was that so hard?" you pull him in for a kiss that has him keening, tongue struggling to fight for the dominance you refuse to give up. even if it took Joel dislocating his shoulder, you will not let him take away your first real breath of control over him. you lean in to his ear, biting his lobe softly as his breath hitches, "now let go of my fucking hand." you whisper coldly. 

he drops it like dead weight. 

smirking, you lean back, lifting your fingers between you and him; your slick coats them, shining with your evident arousal and desire. you don't have to ask; he's taking your wrist gently and pushing your fingers to his lips in a second. 

you watch in awe, desire simmering deep within you as his tongue laps every drop of your arousal from your fingers, his eyes rolling back in his head, groaning gently at the taste of you. "fuck, sweetheart-" he moans and you're unsure if you've ever heard something so delicious. "please, let me feel you." 

you hum, roving your hips over his, sliding until you straddle him properly; his fist, squeezed and wanting, clenches against the sheets below him. a part of you flourishes within your chest as you watch him - so clearly aroused, yet letting you take the reins for once and doing what you say. 

experimentally, you drag a hand down his chest. careful to avoid his left shoulder, which is propped up and slung with a makeshift sling from an old t-shirt, you explore him. 

Joel has never really let you look at him very much before; you smile, eyes trailing over his puffing chest, his stomach, down to where you roll your wet cunt over the fabric of his jeans. the texture is rough - you nearly yelp as your clit catches on the cold metal button; Joel's lips quirk up in a small smirk at the noise you let out. 

you ignore his stare, not letting yourself think about how full of admiration it is at the moment; no, you let yourself bathe in the arousal, in the waiting that Joel has patiently gone through for you. your eyes find his face - that rugged, guarded expression: you see the flicker of vulnerability within them that you're slowly getting used to, that warmth that always catches on your heartbeats and makes them skip or pound just that much quicker. 

so patient now, but where was he hours ago, when he could have come told you in person he couldn't make your date, or hell even just sent Ellie? 

"somethin' wrong, baby?" he asks, voice low - his brow is similarly so, drawn over his eyes and you nearly lean to kiss the concern away; you remember the stares you'd gotten at the Tipsy Bison just an hour ago, sitting alone - another bout of irritation washes over you. "y'tired of tryin' to tell me what to do?" 

you let out a small huff, "thinkin' about what I was gonna let you do to me in the bathroom at the Bison tonight." 

it's barely a hint at anything, but his eyes shut at the image. "I'm s-" 

you really don't want to hear it - he's already apologized several times, and you forgive him. now, you're much more focused on giving what you get. "-shut up, Joel." you snap - and he does. 

jaw snapping shut, he watches you as you move on him, eyes desperate, hungry. 

you let your hand slide over the wet patch you've made to palm him, squeezing his cock experimentally. it throbs, twitches; the breath catches in his throat at your palm and you hum. he lets out a low moan when you unclasp his jeans, tugging then down enough to let his cock spring free. 

he's impossibly hard; leaking precum and throbbing, Joel stares up at you as you dance your fingertips around the course hair at the base, watching him move under you. his lips are parted, but nothing more than grunts and breaths leave them; you grin. "what's wrong, Mr. Miller?" you tilt your head, "scared you'll cum too quick?" 

his eyes roll at your sass, but whatever lip he was about to deliver is cut off when you move your hips upward; grazing over his aching cock is your wet arousal, your cunt enveloping him in your heat. it's as much a tease to him as it is to you - you're aching with need, cunt swallowing around nothing each time you slide your hips against his cock and feel it slide through your slick.

"please." it is like a breath in the wind, but it makes you smirk. your hand slides to hold his jaw, tilting his head until he looks at you straight-on - his eyes are wide and pleading, begging. it coils something very deep within you. 

"you're real handsome like this, Joel." you say, just to watch the blush over his cheeks. his brows furrow, nostrils flaring; irritated, bashful, embarrassed. "I love it when you're so desperate you can't think straight." 

he lifts a brow, not daring to say anything - you see the knowing look in his eyes, though; he loves it just as much as you do. you wonder, briefly, if he's ever really let go like this before, let someone else take control. it makes you throb to think you might be the first one. your clit brushes to head of his dick and you both gasp; your hand slides until your thumb pulls on his bottom lip. parting his mouth, he watches you expectantly - a tingle within you as you realize what he expects without having to tell you, and so you do it. spitting, you watch as your saliva mixes with his on his tongue and he groans, swallowing it quickly. 

fuck, it feels good; your slick has ruined his jeans and you've run out of patience. 

slowly, you rise to your knees and grasp his cock, giving two pumps that have his eyes shutting and swears tumbling from his bitten lips. but then, you notch him at your entrance, swallowing thickly at his size - no matter how many times you take Joel, it's always a stretch.

he feels it too, his eyes widening in bliss. "c'mon, now-" he becomes impatient; you serve him a warning look, lifting a brow. his expression is one of pure resentment and arousal - you're relieved for a moment that he truly is injured, otherwise you know your ass would be spanked completely raw and you'd probably be fucked out on the floor having alerted the whole neighborhood. 

"quit actin' like you've never done this before," he snaps, clearly fed up with playing around, "like you weren't made to slut yourself out on my cock. let me feel you." but his eyes meet yours, and he tilts his head, adding a small, sarcastic, "please."  

a shiver of desire cascades over you; irritation at him standing you up, at getting injured and not telling you, at the storm for ruining your crops - all the frustration dissipates when you sink yourself slowly onto Joel, feeling him split you open. 

you moan in tandem with him, taking him as low as you can go until you let out a short whine, feeling his cock punch your cervix. deep- he always gets so fucking deep. 

you remain slow because you know he wants it fast. a rise and fall of your hips, teasing, as he drags alongside your channels, your cunt squeezing him deliciously. you're already nearing bliss once again, eyes fluttering at the feeling; using him, taking what you need. 

his own eyes are screwed shut, jaw more tense than you've seen before; breathing heavily, it's as if he's trying to fight an orgasm already. you smirk, shaking your head, "already so close, old man?" you tut, leaning back to balance one hand on his lower thigh, the other hiking up your dress so that he can see your slick, where his cock is swallowed by your greedy pussy. 

you sigh, the feeling euphoric as his hips slowly buck to meet yours, fucking into you as you bounce on him. you try not to let your eyes roll back, taking in the slow sweetness of him filling you to the brim. "you're so fucking lucky, you know that?" you hiss, eyes knitting together. "such a fuckin' asshole, yet here I am letting you fuck me." 

he groans, head falling backwards and his free fist not wrapped in the sling fisting the sheets with a death grip. you slow your hips slightly when he doesn't respond, watching him with arousal swirling across your vision. a low fire burns bright within your core, your orgasm building up again. 

“fuck," he nearly moans it, "I know. I know. just- don’t fuckin' stop, baby.”

you've never heard him this desperate; it shoots ecstasy through your very veins, curling your toes and making you clench around him, throbbing in pleasure. "pussy's fuckin' heaven." he mutters to himself. you flutter, shivering down your spine.

"dirty man," you whimper, starting to fuck yourself onto him harder; you bite back a moan as you hear your wet cunt against him, legs beginning to shake. "how long did you know me before you decided you wanted me, hm?"

he lets out a low groan, hand flying to rake through his curls as he bucks his hips with yours. your hand flies to his cheek, landing a smack upon the apple of it. a light slap, one to make sure he's paying attention; the doe-look in his eyes makes your arousal coil, that spring getting tighter and tighter.

is this how he feels when you're underneath him, looking up at him like that? "I asked you a question." you whisper.

"m-moment I saw you," he says, "y'know that, baby." he affirms, barely able to string his words together. warmth courses through you at the admission, so free, so honest. 

"fantasized about me for months, didn't you? and now you have me, and you're leaving me all alone on our first date?" you shake your head, pushing your hair away from your face before toying with your tits once again, sighing as you shiver. you're chasing your high already, spurred on by his flustered state, by the power you've found within it. 

the rain slams on the windows outside, but you couldn't care less. 

you know he's injured; you know Joel, he wouldn't intentionally hurt you - but standing you up on your first date still stings, and you're not afraid to let him know. 

you're close to your orgasm, and Joel can tell - his thighs are thick cords of muscle beneath you as he begins to fuck up into you, tip of his cock pushing against your cervix and making you bite back a scream of pleasure. 

you cast yourself forward, avoiding his injured shoulder as you nip along his neck, tongue sliding against the damp, hot skin. "we can play games all we want, Mr. Miller," you whisper against his ear, relishing in the deep spot he hits within you, "but we both know. I own you." 

he lets out a groan at this, his hips bucking up into you; you gasp as his cock punches your cunt, hitting so deep you keen upwards, toes curling. fuck. "yeah baby, I'm yours-" his voice nearly breaks as he says it, looking as if fighting an internal war over risking further injury to his shoulder if it means pulling you down harder against him. "fuck, so fuckin' pretty like this, all mine." 

his chattermouth seems to have returned; in great time, too, as you grip the hand he's cemented to the sheets and shove it between you two, gasping as you near your high. 

"make me cum," you instruct, "make me cum, then maybe I'll let you cum. can you do that?" 

it is an echo of what he'd asked you just days ago in your own bed; with the rain pouring down, flickering in candlelight. 

"fuck," he mutters, "yes." he affirms; you nod, too blissed out to respond more. his fingers spring to life desperately, his own thrusts sloppy as he seemingly tries to stave off his own orgasm. your body is on an electric wire; every muscle clenches when his rough fingers find your clit, toying and rubbing furiously to bring you to that brink. "g-good, that's so good-" you moan, trying desperately to control the volume of your voice as you shake with pleasure. "don't fucking cum, Miller." you order, hand falling to his throat. he moans, nodding. 

"please," he says it quietly; you see the hunger, that darkness in his eyes as he strains. you gasp, a wave hitting you as he begs, "please, cum for me, pretty girl." he groans, "wanna feel it. c'mon-" 

you hit your orgasm with a gasp and a low, drawn out moan. it rolls over you in waves, pulsing, dragging you into the current and spitting you, heaving, back into the universe. he's pressed his hand over your mouth; a desperate plea to remain undiscovered, as your hand falls similarly to his mouth from his throat.

you feel his lips form your name under your fingers; it feels like home. 

his eyes fall shut in pleasure and his head tilts back, exposing the entire expanse of his throat for you to claim; he looks like fucking heaven.

you kiss Joel's neck lightly as you pick up the pace, bouncing on him steadily as his fingers fly up; too weak of desire, you let him grip the side of your thigh. "shit," he mutters, "darlin', I'm close-" 

shaking your head, you stare at him, "didn't tell you you could cum yet, did I?" 

the taste of his own medicine looks divine upon his face; the graying facial hair glinting in the rainy light outside, his thick neck on display again. he growls and it stirs something delicious within you. 

you feel your grip on reality - on your control, on him - start to loosen as your thrusts become sloppy. "Joel," you whine looking into his eyes. it's as if he snaps. 

he’s surging up, kissing you deeply as groans fall from his lips, his arm rising to your waist to hold you as you move. this position hits the perfect spot inside you that you have to bite hard on his good shoulder to avoid screaming in ecstasy. 

the rain washes away the sound of skin against skin but you feel it, you feel him everywhere. 

"I'm close," he mutters. your eyes are screwed shut; you jolt when you feel the pad of his thumb rubbing figure-eights on your clit and you nearly writhe in his hold, whispering, "don't- you'll hurt yourself."

"don't fuckin' care." he almost growls, beginning to drive up into you, tilting until your toes curl and your whole body shakes. "jus' wanna cum with you. can I cum with you, baby?" 

his voice is so desperate your eyes nearly roll back. you move your hips, chasing the high that you can feel coming. you clench, feeling the familiar feeling creeping on you, your cunt puffy and spent; hungry. his hand grips tight on the junction of your leg and hip, fingers squeezing the sides of your ass as he pulls you down onto him, grunting with his eyes closed. 

he looks angelic like this, flushed and wide-eyes as he bites his lip. your eyes meet his and you nod, "cum with me, Joel, yes-" 

you shake as you hit your high, legs giving out a bit as you pulse and clench around his cock. it immediately makes him cum, thrusting into you and shooting hot spurts deep inside you, his moan desperate and full of pleasure. "could stay with you forever," he says, voice hollow and spent, warm and tired as he pushes his length impossibly deeper into you, sending you keening. your thighs quiver, feeling the cum that leaks from you drip onto his jeans; your heart stops, a wash of flattery over you suddenly as you register his words. "keep you with me forever." 

your heart is suddenly pounding, chest heaving, eyes blissful. you stay, arms on him as his good arm stays around you, pulling your weight on top of him. his cock still throbs gently inside you as you press your cheek against his chest. 

keep you with me forever. you sigh at the thought, blinking syrupy, pressing a kiss over his chest.  

you open your mouth; in fact, the sentiment is there, unspoken and unadmitted but still lingering like clouds and sunsets and uncertainty and fear in your mind. something like love. 

but he cuts you off before you can even speak, "I'm sorry," he mumbles, lips brushing against your hairline, "I wanted tonight to be perfect. I'm sorry I got hurt, 'n I'm sorry I didn't tell ya." 

you swallow back your words, nodding, "Joel, I understand. tell me next time." 

he nods, "jus' gotta stop fucking this up." he says, voice slightly anxious. furrowing your brows, you sit up slightly; you both wince at your sore bodies, but you don't mind. frowning, you take in the melancholy that's settled now that the haze of lust as subsided. this isn't normal; trying to navigate any kind of relationship itself is difficult, let alone your rocky start with each other - god forbid you have rough patches, misunderstandings.

Joel has shown his capacity to mature, to work on himself, and you wouldn't dare write that off as nothing. you know it isn't - you know just a few of the many things Joel has seen in his time. you will learn when he is ready, but for now you wait, patient. 

"hey," you say softly, guiding his cheek in your palm. he looks at you with large eyes as you shake your head, "you care about me" you affirm. 

he nods with no hesitation, "yes, I do. I-" he cuts himself off, looking away before taking a breath, "jus' don't deserve you, s'all." 

you shrug, "well, I care about you too. that's what matters. everything else, we're just..." you purse your lips with a small smile, giddy at the thought of his words earlier; in this life, finding any kind of happiness is wholly unrealistic and more than a privilege. and yet, you have this man in front of you; a protector, a friend, a lover - things are fucked up, yes, but there isn't anything in this world that isn't. 

perhaps it's time to start maturing; perhaps it's time to start seeing things for what they are. 

"figuring it out?" he offers, looking almost hopeful. you nod; he kisses you fully, lips tasting a faint hint of your arousal from earlier. 

he hums as his hand trails over your back, up your neck. "your hair's still wet." he observes against your lips, hand carding through the strands. you nod bashfully, "was pouring out earlier." you remind him. 

he hums, "still is." he observes, chin jutting to the window. you look on, taking in the tears that slide down the panes violently; a cry from the world, though your heart is filled with something much more joyous. "s'ppose it's too late to take you to get drinks, then?" he suggests, giving you a look. you look at him wildly, "you're injured, Joel." 

he sighs, "don't matter, like I said." he argues. you huff, shaking your head, "I heard you were being babied all day, and now you want to walk down into town in the torrential downpour?" 

he stiffens, lifting a brow; you flush when you feel his semi-hard cock warm inside you. "who the hell said I was bein' a baby?" he says; you laugh. he laughs, too. it's nice. 

shaking your head, you sigh. "we'll wait until you feel better, Joel. then you can take me for as many drinks as you'd like." 

he sighs, "get'ya all the liquor left in this place if I can help it." he mutters, kissing your hairline again, "I'm sorry, again." 

you kiss his lips, knowing he means it. "I know you are." you whisper back, a hand soothing over him. his eyes are a deep honey, searching yours with vulnerability; you're reminded of his words from just moments ago and flush. 

Joel speaks up again first. "would you-" he swallows thickly, and you turn to watch him, still bathing in the afterglow of two orgasms, his cock still snug within you. his good hand slides over your spine, "would you stay the night?" he asks, eyes vulnerable, "y'can borrow some clothes." he offers, looking over your soaked dress hopefully. 

something flutters in your stomach and you nod, "sure, I'd like that." 

he's never invited you explicitly like this; you smile gently, deciding not to tease him for the blush upon your cheeks. you watch the curve of his nose, the curve of his jawline as he suppresses a bashful grin - you flicker with a stir of arousal. "can I use your shower?" you ask, eyes flickering to the bathroom that connects to his room. clearing his throat, he nods. "'course." 

you purse your lips, "can you get in the shower with your shoulder like that?" you ask; his brow lifts in interest, some kind of arousal swirling in the depths of his eyes. "for a piece of this ass?" he mutters, hand groping your left cheek hungrily, "I can at least try." 

you roll your eyes, ignoring the newly restored desire that grows between your thighs, smirking. "I should say you should take me to dinner first." 

he chuckles, "ship's sailed on that, I think." he slaps your ass, watching with sharp eyes as the flesh bounces with the impact. "I'll make y'dinner when I'm healed, though." 

you hum against his lips, sliding off of him and gasping at the feeling of his cum slipping between your thighs. you yelp lightly, grinning as you rise up and he slaps your ass again. "help clean me up first," you whisper, pressing a kiss to his nose, "then I'll consider it." 

.

follow @tremendumnotifs for updates.

.

[d1s1ntegrated]

can you do headcanons of shigaraki x reader who is goth with a strong, intelligent personality?

also, what do you think his type is? for some reason i feel like he’s more drawn into alternative ppl 🤭

shigaraki is a goth girl fanatic, i know this bc he is my husband and i am goth.

anyways!

shigaraki x alt!gf hcs! (some nsfw) ╭-°—✞—˚✧❨✧˚—✞—°-╮

shiggy most def loves anything alternative

i mean, he's chronically online, all certified gamer boys need their goth gf/bf/so

goth, emo, scene, metal, alt, etc

has a soft spot for specifically lip and brow piercings, but digs a good old fashioned nose ring or two

he listens to metalcore/numetal a lot

thigh/ass guy for sure, so thicc goths>>>>

was shocked when u of all people wanted him

literally his fantasies came true. he was so ecstatic

actually prefers smart people. he needs someone who understands him, but also can help him rationalize his thoughts

or calm him down when he's off a bean

he wont show that though, he's gotta be the best person in the room at all times

"you're stupid as fuck, stop talking" (drooling)

"shut the fuck up and just sit pretty for me" (cumming)

asks you for help in secret bc his ego is too big around everyone else

likes when you're outspoken and witty, enjoys the challenge honestly

"step on me" (joking. unless??)

loves to watch you do your makeup, especially eyeliner

"can you do that thing where like....? where it looks like it's running? and messy? i dont fucking care what it's called just do that"

"fine, i'll do it myself" (horny)

big t-shirt x little skirt or shorts >>>>> yeah he fucks w that

also really likes tights. he fantasizes ab ripping fishnets w his teeth

u let him do it once, ofc

likes geeking out ab metal/emo bands w u

he specifically rlly likes slipknot, bullet for my valentine, loathe, orgy, the used, soad, and falling in reverse (some of his music taste is lowk toxic but its okay cause hes hot)

"i made you a spotify playlist"

fucks like a GOD if you're in a skirt. like he just fucking folds and worships you

"no no keep it on"

he loves having scary dog privileges

"this is my girlfriend and she will eat you. fuck off"

loves tattoos. like LOVES. wants some of his own. (besides the shitty stick and pokes on his wrist from spinner)

he has piercings too: his nose, snakebites, gauges, nipples (dabi convinced him for that one, he doesn't hate it)

his fav movie is sleepy hollow

and edward scissorhands

he relates a lot to that movie actually ;-; cutie baby

╰-°—✞—˚✧❨✧˚—✞—°-╯

this was obv one of my fav ones to do, for no particular reason

thank u for the ask fellow goth babe <3 mwah

[ataraxixx]

AJAX 1K DTIYS!!yayyyyyyyy

(flats under the cut btw)

hey guys. heres that dtiys i promised for 900 followers and waited so long to make i ended up getting 100 more followers. so this is a 1k follower dtiys now. sorry. anyway. THANKS FOR 1K FOLLOWERS? you guys are awesome i appreciate the support for my insanity. to honor that insanity i have made a dtiys of the 3 characters i am most insane about(shocking nobody) lets go papaya nation👻⚙️👹!!!!

le RULES?

> draw morro harumi and echo together.....idrc if theyre watching tv like in the drawing tbh i just did that because i wanted to draw it. feel free to use the drawing as inspiration for your own artwork but dont feel limited . just make sure to include those 3 interacting at minimum! you can include other chars if u want too idrc but the focus is this trio

> umm that being said no morro x harumi. thanks. i dont care in terms of anything else if u wanna make it platonic or romantic but keep that one out of here pls🙏

> doesnt have to be my designs! feel free to use ur own designs for the characters as long as u include all 3 of them. u can do a mixture or something too idgaf. get silly with it

> tag me & include #ajax1kdtiys on the post because tumblr sucks a lot sometimes

> EDIT: entries due november 15th now bc i had a couple ppl ask for an extension and also im really busy rn lel💀

prizes???

guys i foyght for my life in the trenches last time trying to decide winners so we're doing it a different way now. im just gonna assign every entry a number and draw straws if youre cool with that. its much easier i think..

so basically i am just gonna pull 3 random names out of the hat and all winners will get 1 fullbody drawing of their choice!! no first second third etc thats too complicated 4 me. i mostly just want this to be for fun for anyone interested in participating:)

FINAL NOTES if anyone has any questions feel free to DM me or send an ask. the flats for the drawing are included below for reference. byeee

[jrueships]

Biggest squicks with the nba fandom?

squick?? AW, that's a cute word!!!! im stealing that now, thank u anon! for squicks in the fanfom.. hm um probs colorism towards dark skins & its unseen seen effects . i feel this way toward Fandom in general and life lol. U'll see it everywhere of course.. huzzah..

anyways yea. i feel like the nba should have a way bigger Fandom on here as a sport, i mean. At least bigger than some. The players don't wear a helmet so u can see their emotions, their expressions! Everyone's taking high quality pics up close! The ball isn't the size of a pebble going 50 mph like in hockey lol. There's no helmets!!! U can see them!! Like! I love it! I love seeing faces! I love football but it's the celebrations that rlly make it, esp when it's a pretty wr who u just know is gonna take his helmet off and do smthing funny for the cam!

But that's also probably why it doesn't have a big tumblr Fandom .. u can see their faces .

Even if u couldn't, u'd eventually see most of them aren't white so. Yea .

And abt the colorism aspect, most of the players that do have a big Fandom are light skin. That's why im not the biggest fan for 'all x positions are x' bcs i feel like that's a big thing in football where all qbs are bttms. Which is funny, and i can see it! Im not trying to ruin ppls fun! But when u see how a majority of qbs are usually white for most of history.. and the ones that aren't get some attention if they look like Tua .. but if they look like lamar jackson.. good f'ing luck trying to find bttm fics for that even tho dude's got a bbl . Even tho i believe in switch supremacy for a lot of ppl (lamar included), i feel like i gotta fight for more ppl like lamar even being able to bttm at all.

Meanwhile ppl like luka or Joey b are just automatically always bttms bcs. Yea. They're 'pretty', so u just gotta apparently. But ppl will say jrue holiday is pretty! But does he have any fics at all of him bttming? Nah. Don't gotta for him. Hm. Wonder why ( I know) .

And with the rise of biracial nepo baby kids in the nba, some of them rlly gravitate to the pg position bcs it's like the head of the machine, and they think they can run that well with all the experience of their pops. So all pgs being bttms are kinda just gonna turn into that qb scenario where it's all light/white pgs are bttms and the other guys can be included thru spoken word sometimes but Def not on paper. And I hate saying this bcs i feel like a Debby downer or smthing. I'm not even trying to call out anyone or anything, it's rlly just a personal vent noticing thing that i can't point out specifics to, i can just say I've felt things.

Ppl go into Fandom to have fun! I'm not trying to police shit. This is all personal venting. But like im here to have fun too, and when u happen to be able to notice more stuff, u kinda just. Notice it. And it doesn't feel fun

And I'm not saying they're totally ignored, dark skin ppl in media. We're def modernizing somewhat . But when dark skin ppl usually ARE included, it HAS to involve a lighter sided person. And it's usually the lighter person bttming and the dark topping. And like i can get it, u know. Sometimes it's just the personality dynamic where the appearance happens to have that! But sometimes the appearance seems to overwhelm the personality aspect, or the personality just isn't showing that strength in the fic and it starts to feel. Weird.

I'm not saying all ships where the lighter one bttms are bad tho. I'm not. But I am saying that it fucking sucks to always have to fight hard against 'absolutes' when the absolutes are always against u . Like. Idk. When i had a luka ship with dennis (a black player whos not lightskin) and mentioned how Dennis was a bttm and all a sudden i got an ask abt how luka can't be a top . Like. Alright man.

U know, cus it's like. U'd never get someone defending idk. Jaren like that. Unless ure me Lol. But that's the thing, like it always has to be me or smthing against the world which is fucking stupid bcs i hate that thinking. It's so selfish! Which makes it less fun to be in the Fandom sometimes bcs it feels even more isolated in an already isolated space sometimes. But that's a personal thing. Anyways

Yeah. It's just tiring sometimes.

It's like the only ships that have white/black player where the white guy is a top.. the black guys GOTTA be a power bttm or SMTHING to explain it like. We have to explain why our beloved princess white guy isn't bttming to idk some black dude lol. But if u reverse that then the white guy bttm doesn't have to be a power bttm bcs no one blinks an eye bcs it already makes sense to them or whatever. Lol.

Lol ..

[catinasink]

introduction teehee

most recent edit: 2/03/24

hi!

general questions

who am i?

i'm cat (dont capitalize, as in Cat) and tentatively eli or nico. i'm a minor, as well as in middle school (ages 11-14). i go by it/its (if you're calling me cat) or they/he (if you're calling me eli or nico) or no pronouns. i am transmasc agender, aroacespec (aroflux and aegosexual), and pan.

what do i post about/reblog about?

marauders

genshin impact

other random fandoms

dreamscape nexus (...)

life things! (vents, random events, etc)

things about my friends :D

classes outside school (ballroom dance, art, aikido, russian, math)

writing (i am a writer)

music (i post lyrics from music, is fun)

gay (i am gay)

my friends

family, pets, friends?

one older sister

two cats - kim and shego (or floorshitter)

irl friends:

pissboy (my husband. he/they) (pissboy origin story)

lee (my wife. not a permanent nickname. she/her)

preppy (my wife, not a permanent nickname, she/her)

miss eighth* grader (she/they, talks abt sui a lot)

ashes (she/her, my bbg)

may mention some other ppl as well lol

can you tag me, ask me questions, tag me in chain asks or tag games?

sure, i might not participate in tag games or chain asks tho :>

timezone?

PST, inside a sink

dni?

if over 25, bigots in general, the usual

what can you call me?

no: bro, guy, gal, sis, girl, man, boy, dude, etc. (gendered terms in general)

yes: pet names (sarcastically and/or platonically, ofc) such as sweetheart, honey, bbg (please dont fully type out babygirl); lil guy is fine

i might call myself a girl or a boy, dont take this as permission please x

--

*used to be miss seventh grader

other info

i would appreciate tone tags if you feel you are speaking too vaguely, but otherwise it's fine

am either a slytherin or ravenclaw. slytherin most-likely

am INTP-T

scorpio sun, sagittarius moon, scorpio rising (i think)

pandora sun, lily moon, regulus rising

i speak english and russian, am learning german and hebrew (long story)

one sideblog, @catinasink-writes, this is only for my fanfiction

i also have another sideblog. kudos to you if you find it

I might ask you to explain a sentence or a phrase for me, it's bc words tend to not be understandable for me sometimes

i. might be neurodivergent

please alert me if you're going to leave, it scares me sometimes

am matching banners with @shrimpysstuff!! go check her out, her blog is wonderful :3

tags!

ramblies, vents, anything thats not a reblog and doesnt fall into another category: #cat's rambles

posts mentioning my cat, or with my cat: #cat's cat

writing (in general): #cat's writing

writing (actually writing: #poetry maybe

my art: #cat's art

my asks: #cat's asks

posts made during school (tend to be queued): #cat's schoolposting

music-related posts: #cat's lyricposting

my own music: #cat's lyrics

my beloved friend @this-is-me-lolol: #basil my beloved &lt;3

pissboy, my friend: #my lovely pissboy

my friend @o-kye: #tumblr user o-kye

cali cult: #calicos

sink lore: #happenings of the sink

blender anon: #cat's blender anon

dear anon (dreamscape nexus thing): #cat's dear anon

dreamscape nexus (...): #Dreamscape Nexus

ao3 details

my account (catinasink)

i've got a good feeling that we could be something

rated T

the Selection but rosestarkillerchaser

features the Blacks as the Schreaves

the Order as the rebellion

rosestarkillerchaser, emmarlily, wolfstar

unfinished, 8/30 (estimate)

watching pixar on a school night

rated T

a texting fic for the marauders 5th year and skittles 4th year

modern au w magic

rosestarkillerchaser, emmarpanlily/sunkeeperflowerseer, wolfstar

background benjy/peter + nobleflower + frank

slowburn

unfinished, 25/?

they're so pretty it hurts (i'm not talking about boys, i'm talking about girls)

rated T

oneshot about marlene

in the universe of wpoasn

features slavic marlene!! bc that is my love >>

also ace marlene!

2.7k words

finished, 1/1

dear angel lacy, eyes white as daisies

rated T

in the universe of wpoasn

noblesea (molly and alice) focused

has noblesea, nobleflower, and fralice (polyam alice)

slowburn

unfinished, 2/8 (estimate)

fic summaries (definitely accurate)

tumblr writing masterlist (chronological order, first most recent)

song-resembling thing (aka big mistake) (with voice ;-;)

maybe one day

to old friend once again

jolly ranchers

to v

my love

piano

fuck periods

more vent (green)

to my old friend (again)

to my old friend

more poetry/rambling/vent whatever :>

more poetry

poem thing that blender anon said i should share

have a nice day!

[mybrainproblems]

hello, i'm finales georg...

i don't want to further clutter up the notes on this post while responding to the tags below but the persistence of the "finale is short/scenes are missing/extra ad break” conspiracies drives me absolutely bananas when i've watched the finale ten times and have posted about this A LOT trying to clear things up. (disclaimer that yes, i'm a goddamn destiel shipper but i care about Facts above all.)

ok but this is weird because i'd swear the episode was shorter (11 missing scenes!) but okay. maybe we all mandela effected ourselves into #beleving that. because it felt shorter. but i will die on the hill that it had another ad break. i understand this person has the thing #recorded with ads so i am thinking maybe different ad breaks in different idk time zones??? #because the finale did air an hour earlier in canada so maybe idk i am reaching here but maybe different states or whatever had different #ad breaks??? as for the last minute changes - wasn't the cover band asked for permission to use their version of carry on like a week before #the thing aired??? so even if the episode was 42 minutes and had no additional ad break - which i am side eying but lets say all was normal #i will always say they were changing thing until the absolute last minute (carry on my wayward son X 2 #the crew on the bridge which is not only giant 4th wall breaking but also wow they really got all those people in one place in times of #covid???) #anyway. tinfoil hat stays on sorry guys :/ (via @officialmisha)

short and snarky: there are plenty of real and sourced examples of network homophobia and scripted/directed destiel scenes being cut to point to. we don’t need to make this stuff up just bc the finale wasn’t what we wanted. so it’s not the mandela effect — it’s ppl repeating a conspiracy/rumor bc it supports their narrative and it’s easier and more fun to repeat something that supports a narrative they already believe (misha or something destiel was cut) vs the boring act of fact checking.

longer circumspect answer with links bc like many ppl i am in my debunking era and i rewatched "roblox_oof" last night.

like i said. i've watched the finale ten times. i’ve gone over the episode with a fine toothed comb and posted a detailed breakdown of timing marks on my blog. it’s actually extremely obvious where the ad breaks are once you know roughly where to look for them (they have a longer fade to black instead of a quick cut scene change). there’s no room for extra ad breaks and i think this conspiracy/rumor persists in part bc the episode feels so sparse in terms of cast and the fact that the episode’s momentum hits a barn post (and rebar) less than 20min into an hour-long programming block.

also i’m begging ppl to actually look at that timing mark post. it’s very straightforward and i spent a lot of time on it. i don’t care if ppl plagiarize it at this point if it means this conspiracy stops. i've got almost every second accounted for.

the "eleven missing scenes" that you're thinking of are probably from the finale script of questionable authenticity that @spnscripthunt acquired back in 2021 which can be found here. it's dated as the “final draft” from 11 sep 2020 and filming on 15x20 wrapped on 10 sep 2020. as noted at the bottom of this superwiki page "[the] script came from someone claiming to have been the person who did the closed captions for the show in Russia. There are some indications that it possibly may not be authentic, but this has not been confirmed."

if we go with the possibility that this was a transcript meant for subtitles, the "omitted" scenes were probably written but never filmed since it's the "final draft" and not a color revision (blue, green, yellow, etc). unfortunately, i’ve lost track of where i read it and a preliminary duckduckgo search isn’t bringing it up bc there's a program for script writing called final draft, but iirc the “final draft” version of a script is a transcript of what was filmed (e.g. there are parts of that 15x20 script that ended up being deleted scenes on the DVD). spnscripthunt also has an example of a confirmed final draft for 09x02 (funnily enough, also a dabb-penned ep). if anyone can confirm with a source that i have the purpose of the “final draft” version designation wrong, please let me know! i love being proven wrong with Facts.

i do want to acknowledge that the two “final drafts” do look different from each other and the 15x20 one doesn't look like a “real” final draft script since it lacks the revision/versioning dates that a script would normally have on the cover page. it could be that it was intended for subtitles; there's the chance it's been re-typed to anonymize it if there was anything indicating who the "owner" was, tho that seems a wee bit cloak and dagger to me. and again: it's considered of questionable authenticity. there are some things that don't quite line up but oh dear god i don't want to get even further out into the weeds than i already am.

i won't disagree that it's weird as hell that neoni only got asked about using their cover seven days prior to the episode airing (tiktok here). my personal theory is that they were hoping to get a more expensive song (maybe a zepp song, idk) and didn't manage to secure the rights in the end. again: this is pure conjecture on my part! but i could absolutely see someone working on the show hearing neoni’s cover and liking it and then maybe they were using it as a placeholder until it got down to the wire and they had to make a call/send the ep to networks. because yes, it is baffling they played a song and then a cover of it with only a 40 second break between. (i do actually really like the neoni cover! the placement is just weird and i think it could have worked if they had the kansas version at the beginning and closed with neoni's full cover.)

as to the 4th wall break COVID stuff: robert singer talked with variety magazine about filming the last two episodes and the logistics of filming during a pandemic. whether they should have been filming during a pandemic is a separate discussion but their use of office vs set pods, strict quarantining and daily testing meant that they had zero positive tests in the month they were filming (18 aug to 10 sep). so given all that, i personally don’t think it’s totally out of pocket to have everyone standing outdoors on a bridge for maybe an hour to get a drone shot of them together. (i won’t get into incubation periods and viral load, but if everyone tested negative that day and every day for a month prior, it was a fairly low risk scene to film outdoors and for all we know everyone was masked until the last possible second. there were plenty of outdoor masked protests in 2020 that weren't superspreader events.)

and before anyone brings up “but misha was in vancouver!” i know someone who looked into it and they said no dice, nothing matched up between the backgrounds in those pics and places in vancouver. his statements about “us” going back to set over the summer were pretty generic in hindsight and “we”/"us" could be him or the spn crew generally. unfortunately i’m not able to find those tweets but the use of “we” was likely so as not to give away he wouldn’t be returning to set. (bc we were absolutely casbaited!) and bc it comes up a lot: the "onion field pic" was from when they were filming 15x17 and was not taken while filming 15x19 and 15x20.

besides, it would be ridiculous to go through the financial and logistical headaches of bringing someone into the country to film during a pandemic, only to cut their scenes in the end! honestly, the script is pretty tight when the scenes are given so much breathing room! the only thing i could see being further cut down is The Monologue and even then, i don’t think there was any intent to cut it down given it was filmed in fairly long takes.

i’ve said it many times before, but i believe the finale was fucked long before they returned to set. walker got the green light in sep 2019 and it was being marketed heavily as a “follow on” show to spn given jared’s involvement. the demo they were courting for walker has little to no overlap with the demo for destiel fans — why would they want a finale that catered to a demo they weren't interested in courting? we just went through a historic double strike that exposed so much of the rot of business interests overriding creative vision. this isn't completely unfounded conjecture.

i will not apologize for the length of this bc i wanted to be thorough, but i do want to give context that i think the reason these conspiracies and rumors grind my gears so much is because anyone can fact check all of this. the truth is out there and absolutely none of it is that hard to find. the most time consuming/difficult part of this was finding someone who had a DVR’d copy of the finale from when it aired live and they actually found me themselves after i’d been low key asking around for a year!

and like. i get it. conspiracies are fun. but there are so many sourced instances of network homophobia and destiel being cut that it's like. why is this something folks are hanging onto? the cw is notorious for having upper level meddling with finales bc there's a follow-on show they want to shuffle fans along to and spn is no exception.

[scekrex]

hello it is I original requester for the overlord reader x Adam series and I am craving the angst, Adam finds out about how overlord reader had only taken him in to sell him out to make a quick buck and basically Adam's reaction to finding that out

Don't ya think I'll forget your name, you were one of the first ppl to ever request stuff. Also I fucking love you/p for requesting overlord!reader in the first place

Bird of Hell's Paradise

Can't take back all the things we said

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language, hurt/no comfort

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

You were in your office, working on some paperwork while also trying to plan a meeting that Zestial had requested. The old overlord had asked to meet you to discuss the rumors about Adam, he had also offered to simply pay you a visit so that the angel would not have to leave the place he called home now and expose himself to greedy eyes and filthy claws, that way you would also not have to deal with the brunette’s attitude whenever you were about to leave him alone for a short while. Yet it was quite hard to find a date to meet the overlord you liked the most, he seemed just as busy as you were.

Adam however, slammed the door open and therefore interrupted the call you were in. The camera zoomed out automatically as soon as a second face had been detected and Adam was just as visible as you were, the normally calm angel seemed angry - at what you had yet to find out. You turned towards your lover with a soft smile, “Pardon me, Zestial, I shall be back as soon as I can.” The overlord on the other hand of the call gave you a silent nod as he observed the situation. “My dear,”you greeted Adam. You got up from your chair and crossed the room to where the brunette was still standing in the doorframe, holding a sheet of paper in his hand as anger and betrayal was written all over his face. A hand of yours reached out to touch his face, but the first man flinched away from the touch he normally loved and enjoyed so much. “Don’t fucking touch me you lying cunt,” he basically yelled at you, the volume of his voice caused you to flinch in return, never had the brunette yelled at you so directly, let alone insulted you like that. “What are you talking about, my sweet bird?” You tried your hardest to catch a glimpse of what Adam was holding in his hand, but the man was furious and his body movement reflected that feeling, therefore he was moving his arms quite a lot. A sarcastic chuckle bubbled from his throat, “What I’m fucking talking about? That you tried to sell my fucking soul to those fuck-ups of filth that live in this shithole.” He pressed his palm against your chest, the sheet of paper between his hand and the clothes covering your body as he shoved you away from him.

Your hands grabbed the paper he seemed so angry about and once the first couple of words were read, you realized what the first man had found. The contract you had made with one of the sins - it had been Mammon who had offered the highest price for Adam. That had been before the two of you had grown so close, back when Adam had been barely able to move due to the wounds that little demon girl had inflicted on him. “You fucking said I was save here, you fucking swore you would not sell my goddamn soul to any of those cunts,” his golden wings fluttered as he angrily pushed past you to enter the room fully, it was only then that he was Zestial. His voice sounded a little broken when he pointed to the computer which showed the other overlord, “And who’s this whore? Another fuck up you try to sell me to like a motherfucking slave?” The rage in Adam’s golden eyes burned bright, even brighter burned the feeling of betrayal though, the first man truly thought you were still trying to profit off of him by selling him, and that fact alone shattered something deep inside of you. “No,” you said as you turned around to look at Adam who was now looking through the documents on your desk in order to find even more evidence. “My love, would you listen to me for a moment, I-” but before you were able to explain yourself and calm your beloved hot headed angel down, he interrupted you, “Fuck you, fuck this place and fuck hell. You’re no different than the other filthy sluts down here.” And hearing that from the angel you loved hurt, it hurt badly, but it was your own fault after all. You had tried to sell him, you had tried to get rid of him, there was no denying.

“Adam,” the call of his name caused the brunette to stop for a moment, he turned his head to look at you - really look at you. The hurt in your eyes that matched his own made him consider hearing you out. “I will not deny that I tried to sell you-” “Fucking knew it, I should not fucking-” “Let me finish.” And the first man did, he was looking far from pleased by your confession, but he did remain silent to let you speak. “I tried in the beginning, before you even woke up from the pain that had caused you to pass out,” you explained as you slowly walked towards him, carefully you reached out to take the documents he had collected off of your desk from him to neatly place them down again - they were important after all and you could not risk adam tearing them apart in his anger. “But then you had woken up and every cell of my body had screamed at me to take care of you, not because you were wounded but because I knew that every single soul that exists down here would hurt you and I wanted to prevent that, not only back then but I still want to keep you from getting hurt again - physically or emotionally.”

In an act of desperation you offered your hand to Adam, yet the brunette did not take it - you had no right to blame him for that decision, not when it had been you who fucked up in the first place. “Well, fucking spoiler bitch, you hurt me more than any of your demon cunts could have,” he sounded like he was about to cry and you hated yourself for making your precious bird feel that way. Yet you understood. And while you wanted to hug him, to comfort him, he had made it clear that he was not in need of your touch, not when you had hurt him the way you did. “I know,” your words sounded so clear, so soft and yet they felt like sharp daggers piercing not only your chest but also his. “I apologize for that, my-” calling him by one of the pet names you usually used for him felt wrong, so you rephrased, “Adam.” His golden wings sank low enough for the ends of the feathers to reach the floor, a thing the angel had never done before, he had always taken care of the shiny golden feathers and had always made sure they would not touch the ground. “I need time,” and with those words he exited your office as abruptly as he had entered it.

It was Zestial who spoke up first after your angelic lover had left, “Time you shall give him, time will help him come to terms with it. Show him you mean those words spoken by yours but respect his boundaries as you do.” You looked at the screen, offering your old friend a weak smile as you nodded, “The meeting has to wait, I’m afraid. He is my priority.” And Zestial understood.

[ushouldwatchhaikyuu]

hiiiii so I wonder if you could make some headcons about me x Tsukishima Kei or nishinoya yuu ?

so im a girl and i am gyaru / mcbling like i have manyyyyyyy accessories and i love shine and thinks like that like im girly but in higher level, i love makupe, juicy bags, low rise jeans, tops and I have septum in my nose ( i did it by myself )

I am veryyy extroverted and very talkative, sometimes I feel like I never run out of words im kinda popular like i dont wanna to narcissistic but i think mamy ppl in my school know me bc my loud character and the way i dress, and I am veryy self-confident (you have to be that way to dress)

I'm the most typical gyaru you can imagine, I'm loud, extroverted, I'm everywhere and I always want to be friends with everybody

My hobby is doing my nails, I always do my own nails and my friends love doing duck nails, shiny and pink with lots of accessories.

i hooe that i dont sound narcissistically

Nishinoya Yuu & Tsukkishima Kei x Gyaru! reader

warnings: cussing & mentions of unsafe piercings lmao.

Gif credits: Nishinoya & Tsukkishima ; Dividers ; Middle pic

Nishinoya Yuu:

oh girl that boy is a girlypop queen he would be a sucker for your style lmfaoo

he would absolutely let you do his makeup & give him makeovers.

you'd think he's just playing around letting you do his makeup in your room but he actually wears it out as long as it's not too dramatic/heavy, mostly just because he gets physically uncomfortable. would definitely rock some highlighter & eyeliner to volleyball practice though

he's absolutely your number one hype guy, he showers you in compliments everytime you show him an outfit and he always notices i says how much he loves your nails whenever you do a new design on them

sooo many sleepovers to watch your fav fashion/makeup shows and influencers and paint his nails or give him makeovers

gets you matching jewelry that goes super well with your style

definitely gets you some tacky 2000's style graphic tee that says some corny pickup line with lq pictures of your faces and a heart between u two.

will fight anyone who judges/criticizes your style

he didn't encourage you to do your piercing yourself, but he did let you pierce his earlobes lmao

kinda random but he loves the noise your jewelry makes lmfao

Tsukkishima Kei:

while he's not as passionate about fashion as you are, he likes seeing you be so happy and passionate about it

he drops simple compliments on certain outfits, makeup or nails every now and then.

he would also let you do very simple makeup on him, sometimes. he would make you work for it though, but he definitely loves spending time with you like that

he carries your stuff whenever your purse is too small and always lets you borrow his jacket if you get cold or wanna cover up a bit

he goes shopping with you and gives genuine opinions when you ask him. again, he might not know much about makeup or fashion, but he definitely tries to think about whatever you're showing him and gives you his honest thoughts, which are often actually helpful.

he also definitely spoils you and buys you anything you ask for if you smile bright enough but don't bring that up cause he'll get embarassed and nervous about it

loves watching you do your own makeup and outfits, he thinks its endearing how much thought you put into it

he does try to learn about the stuff you like though, and has a pretty good grasp on what your style is– so he always gets you the best gifts and sends you lots of pictures of stuff he thinks you'd like.

he does NOT like the fact that you pierced yourself and scolds you everytime you bring it up cause he got so worried about it

he doesn't ask for it, but he would definitely wear like one or two pieces of your jewelry if you suggested it would look good on him. same with painting his nails.

[fairycosmos]

hi chloe !! i got a new job and today is my first day, my anxiety wont leave me alone. How do u control anxiety in situations like this?? specially cus i think i might have autism and that im not gonna fit in my new job

hi congratulations on the new job!! agh it's the worst.......i've been there a million times and i still don't have a proper solution.......i tend to at least attempt to manage that anxiety by accepting that it is there and not fighting it. i try to get my brain to focus on neutral affirmations "i am going to be awkward and that's okay" "i am allowed to fuck up" "i can be compenetent at my job and ask for help at the same time" "i can't control what anyone thinks of me, i can only control myself" rather than telling myself hyper-positive platitudes that feel kind of fake. even the neutral ones feel fake at first, but locking in on them and just getting on with the day has worked for me in the past. i also allocate myself breaks throughout the day, time to go to the bathroom and just breathe and get myself together. nobody will be expecting much of you on your first day and i promise as long as you are civil and polite with the people you meet then you will be fine. i've had ppl automatically dislike me in workplaces for being neurodivergent too and i've come to realise that there's not much i can do to prevent it bc they're miserable and they're going to do what they can to look for (what they percieve as) weaknesses in others to make themselves feel better. luckily not everyone is like that and i'm sure it'll become apparent who is chill and who isn't with time, and even if you don't end up really vibing with anyone - they're just co-workers at the end of the day. this is something i have to remind myself a lot. their approval doesn't make or break anything and they're not necessarily your friends and that's fine. you'll be alright. if there's a connection you find at work worth exploring, you'll find it naturally - other than that, just don't get involved in co-worker drama and you should have nothing to really worry about. i know it's hard. i've been bullied at work before and now whenever i go somewhere new the fear that it is going to happen again crops up, but at the end of the day i just think as long as i'm getting paid then what fucking ever, you know what i mean? you're clearly capable, which is why you got the job to begin with, and you deserve to have people in your inner circle that deserve to be there, who'll treat you right. not everyone does deserve that, but that's not on you. good luck and i hope it goes really well <3 remember it's ok to ask (what you think are) stupid and ridiculous questions and it's ok to fuck up!! lots of love to ya. mwah <3 x

[heavenwithgyu]

but i know you’ll stay

pairing: mingyu x gn!reader (ft. roommate!minghao but not romantic at all)

genre: angst + fluff

a/n: part 2 to yspl (bc a couple ppl asked and i am a ppl pleaser…. not gonna tag them tho im sure they’ll find this……) uhhh the pov for this one is kinda weird and confusing but i like it that way tbh im sorry, also this was pulled out of my ass bc i didnt expect go write a part 2. btw i write a lot better at night, started this midday and finished it a few nights later so if you see my writing style change just know it was bc i was writing at night.

proofread: uhh no sorry :) scared to live up to ppls expectation for an ending so i dont read through it sorry

warnings: none !!

Mingyu sat in bed the next couple of hours, replaying in his head the night before and the mere minutes before you left. Nothing seemed like out of place, you two had dinner, kissed, fell asleep together, woke up together, and then you just left?

He couldn’t make out in his head what had gone wrong. It was eating him alive if he was to be honest, what was he supposed to make of it? Did you think him in the morning was too clingy? Did you think how you won him over was too easy? Did you think his morning breath was too bad?

His thoughts were racing, he kept glancing at where you had slept, hoping he would just wake up to find out it was a bad dream and see you next to him, still sleeping. Still next to him. Looking like an angel, as always.

He picked his phone up, staring at it. He was sure you had blocked him already, there’s no way you hadn’t. You would’ve gotten home by now, explained your situation to Hao, who would’ve told you to block him because there was no way to come back from that.

Unless you two started dating.

His lips tugged into a smile at the idea, despite how foolish it was at the moment, he let his heart get the better of him. Let him think of you two together, all the dates you could go on, all the sleepovers you could have, all the things he could buy you.

Your favorite things, more than he did already because now he would have a reason to instead of ‘I was gifted it and I know you liked it’ or ‘I found it’ despite it being brand new. He thought you knew his feelings for you already because he couldn’t keep it hidden, he was like a big puppy whenever you were around.

One call of his name and a bat of your eyelashes and he’s giving you whatever you wanted. He thought you knew that.

Perhaps you did.

Maybe last night was the final push and you realized just how much he liked you and just couldn’t deal with it, his lips pursed at the idea, he couldn’t handle thinking you not reciprocating and him having displayed his feelings so openly.

A sigh left him as set his phone back down, not knowing what to do.

Your phone suddenly buzzed and your heart was in throat immediately, staring down at it on your bed. Gyu wouldn’t have texted me, it was too soon, he hadn’t thought of it enough yet, you thought but you still looked at your lock screen to see the notif.

Someone uploaded on Instagram.

Of course it was that and not him, why would he text you?

After all, you were just some rebound to help him get over his fling. You should’ve left when he told you to, you regretted telling him to kiss you, you were the catalyst to the whole thing that left you in this mess.

Your best friend for years kissed you just because he missed his fling and was wine drunk, and you had told him to. Your head dropped into your hands, not knowing what to do to fix this.

You wanted to text him, to tell him that last night was a mistake and that you two could just forget the whole thing. Go back to normal, as if you never had that whole dinner, as if you two had never kissed.

Actually.. that wasn’t a bad idea.

You brought your phone up to your face, clicking on his text message to see him already typing. Your eyes widened and as you tried to click out of it, close the app, close your phone even, he had sent it already.

9:37 AM gyu !!: Hey ik you’ve already blocked me and everything but I miss you, I actually have a really big crush on you and have for a while and know you’ll never see this which is why I’m saying it through text

9:37 AM gyu <33: YOU DIDNT BLOCK ME?? WHAT???

9:38 AM gyu <33: IFNGORE WHAT I SAID WHAT THE HELL WHY DIDNT YOU BCLOK ME

9:38 AM gyu <33: DONT LOOK AT WHAT I SAID DONT LOOK

You felt yourself giggling at his texts, them coming in too fast for you to read what the original said at first. Once he stopped typing, you looked at it, your heart almost jumping out of your chest.

There was no way, right? He had to be lying, pranking you, this was a joke

9:38 AM you: You’re joking, right?

9:39 AM gyu <33: What

9:39 AM gyu <33: What would I be joking about? The panic? That was real

9:39 AM you: You don’t actually like me

9:39 AM gyu <33: What? You really didn’t know? You’re that stupid?

A scoff came out of you as you smiled, it couldn’t have been someone else because only he would be the type to confess and then immediately insult the person right after.

9:40 AM you: Just come over loser, we need to talk about this face to face

9:41 AM gyu <33: Been on my way since u read my text :P

Such a dork, you thought, simply waiting for him to get to your house now. It wouldn’t take long, he didn’t live that far away and considering the circumstances, he would probably speed to get here.

Not by much, but to shave off an extra minute or two. You scrolled on instagram as you waited, not knowing how else to pass the time, your thoughts clouded on what you would say to him.

You hadn’t even told him that you returned his feelings and you were sure he would tell you of that. A knock at your door had your heart racing, wondering how he could’ve possibly here so quickly, you were at your door in a flash, opening it ready to embrace him but paused— Hao stood there instead.

“Hey, do y’know where my sketchbook went? I thought I left it on my desk last night but it’s not there.” He asked with a yawn, ruffling his bedhead and with a shake of your head he was groaning, “Thanks anyway, I’ll find it probably.” He mumbled, walking off towards the living room where he drew often.

He was a quiet roommate which you loved, however once he got comfortable, his art projects tended to take up a lot of space and he often left clothing design sketches around. Not like you minded, but sometimes you had to collect them off your dining room table to put them in his room.

You shut your door back, sitting back on your bed and just staying like that. Electricity felt like it was coursing through your veins, the very image of him in your room, professing his feelings for you while holding your hands in his, instead of over text like his dumbass did, had your mind too occupied to do anything else.

If you had known his feelings this morning, you would’ve never left even if he would’ve asked you. He would’ve been stuck with you, but you knew he wouldn’t mind it, he never made you leave.

Another knock at your door drew you out of your daydream state, palms clammy as you walked over again, Hao couldn’t possibly be asking something again so it had to be him.

You got over to the door, it opening without you saying anything, “You didn’t say no so I know you’re not changing.” You heard his voice mutter while he walked in, his eyes meeting yours.

You were at a loss for words— again. He always did this to you, he knew that, he found it adorable each time, not that he would tell you unless you told him you felt the way he did.

“Man, I really messed up that confession, huh?” He said after a few seconds to break the tension, a laugh slipped past your lips before you were nodding.

You smiled at him widely, “You really did, no flowers or anything, just told me over text.” You teased, pushing his shoulder softly and he was chuckling, running a hand through his hair.

His eyes left yours as he realized he hadn’t brought you anything to re-confess, the smile that was plastered on his face grew sheepish while you watched his eyes trace things in your room, “Yeah, to be fair, I really thought you had blocked me. I just, I wanted to get it out there, y’know? That I loved you.” Your eyes widened at the statement, love, he loved you. You knew you loved him but to hear he felt the same? It was an indescribable feeling.

It was euphoric but also bittersweet, you had spent so long pining over each other and not taking hints that it led to this. “Gyu..” You muttered, his eyes meeting yours for a second before leaving again, almost like a puppy that had been scolded. “I love you too.” You told him, his entire body seemed to freeze.

He stopped breathing, seemingly taking in your words but too overrun by them to perform basic functions. He stuttered out a what, his eyes wide as they slowly met yours, another laugh rumbled out of your chest before you were just cupping his cheeks gently, pulling him into a kiss.

His hands grasped your waist, pulling your closer. He tasted of coffee, he had brewed himself some while deciding what to text you, albeit it was first draft because he didn’t want to pour his entire heart out into a message he thought you would never see.

He pulled back when he felt his lungs burned, foreheads pressed against one another while neither of you dared to open your eyes to end this moment, wanting to bask in it forever. “I love you.” You repeated in a hushed tone, his grip slacked slightly and your eyes cracked open to see a goody smile on his face.

He said it back, saying it over and over while peppering kisses on your face, giggles pouring out of you. “So we’re dating now right?” He asked when you both had calmed down, a roll of your eyes while you gave him a peck.

“Duh idiot, why wouldn’t we be?” You asked rhetorically, though he didn’t even try to get you back for the insult, he was just pulling you closer, holding you against him in a hug.

Your arms wrapped around him, holding him as well. The world around you seemed to fade to nothing, only you two existed in this space. Only you two existed at all. Just the two of you wrapped in an undying embrace, knowing you both would always stay with each other.

[icyy-hoon]

hi! im one of tama's friends and i saw that you "addresed" the thing about her being a minor and you hinted that she may have a bad influence at school or at home which i find kinda rude tbh and making a topic well known where a minor is included its kinda hypocrite too bc she already said that some people have attacked her in her inbox (which i have proof) and even emi (emisloves) herself has insulted her publicly by calling her slurs. i would be so grateful if you and the other people in enhablr that are interesed in the topic let it go for once.

not trying to be rude to you bc youre actually vv sweet but, how would you feel if people were in your inbox constantly asking your age (which they alr know) and leaving passive-aggressive asks?

all those people who find it weird enough to see a 15yo reading/writing smut should start taking a walk every morning or in their free time. yall do not know tama at all and how shes doing to be assuming she has some problems to be interacting with written smut, what yall should focus on should be on how not to expose a minor knowing damn well any kind of people are going to end in her blog and anything can happen.

hi there!

first of all, i apologize for saying she had a bad influence at school or at home; nevertheless i did not state that she does. I said maybe, and i'm simply assuming it because ppl are frequently impacted by what we can consider to be terrible things maybe at school, at home, or on social media.

secondly, abt the hypocrisy, i am just doing my job by addressing this matter as best as i can. As for those ppl, i can't stop them from doing that. If I really do take down the post related to this matter, some people would still come into her inbox, and send hate messages. I can say, that by taking down the post, it will reduce the number of hate messages she recieves, but what about emi's post? i believe emi has a lot of fans who will always check her acc and eventually, will see the posts related to tama there.

thirdly, i actually don't find it completely odd. maybe in 50% ? because i thought abt this : if they are 15 years old, and they interacted with nsfw stuffs, what's different when they're 18 years old later? Is it wrong if a 15 years old does it? and i observed a lot of opinions stating that's not good because they can't think clearly, or it can affects their lives. And i believe, they are overly concerned about the possibility of them falling into something unsuitable for their age such as s*x, is high.

fourthly, i'd like to apologize for anything i said, that may have affected some people, upset some people, or made some people think i was impolite. I'm really sorry; if i don't remove this post, people will send you negative and harsh messages, tama. I definitely need some time to think. But i believe tama is a strong girl, a strong person, and has changed. So, everyone out there, please stop sending her hate message since she' has quit writing smuts for now.

let me know what your opinions! should i remove the post? or keep it?

tagging some moots to help me decide :

@dollyhoon @amorek1m @yuvany @eunimaybe @regularsuh

@ikeuberri @chaconnenha @haerni @cupidriki @flwrstqr

@mioons @heeblurs @wonsprincess @kairoot @miumura

@sunrenity @kissofhoon @dollyrin @enhas-lvr

[yourlocaldisneyvillain]

i would like to be in and foster an online environment in which discussions abt controversial topics can be handled civilly without ppl ganging up and sending an influx of anon hate. i think internet in general is a space where ppl love to be outraged and i want to challenge that. that's partially why i wrote this fic. i am tired of purity culture and of fandom/online hivemind. in a fandom where a lot of ppl clearly enjoy age gap ships, i say, what makes one better and more "morally correct" than another? what makes a sugar mommy au better than a college student x teacher fic? so many fics featuring dark themes are popular in this fandom (don't wanna name any names bc i don't wanna get anyone involved), but THIS is the one ppl are upset about?

i wanna ask a question -- is it possible to write a fic where ppl are NOT morally pure but still somehow manage to live and find happiness? why is it forbidden to explore those themes in fiction? when you look at ppl in real life and how weirdly their lives shape up, and how ppl are flawed and make mistakes and live unconventionally or sometimes immorally or unhealthily, doesn't that interest you? in a sense that you would like to read about it? explore what goes on in the minds of these ppl/characters?

ppl forget exploring a theme in fiction doesn't equate to condoning it in real life. each individual has to use their own best judgement when consuming a piece of fiction. i assume everyone reading my fic is an adult (as i write fics intended for adult audiences) and can form their own opinion.

i would like it if people could use their reading comprehension and critical thinking skills when reading my fiction, without me having to put up exact and specific 1826372929392 word disclaimers, so ppl's fragile feelings wouldn't get hurt. would it really be okay if i wrote in all caps before the story WEDNESDAY IS 22? you could have read the first paragraph and figured that out. i tagged it as teacher-student bc it's playing with the concept, even if they are not a student/teacher in the timeline of the story. i use implied underage sex as a tag bc in the 2nd chapter, and repeatedly throughout the story i reference larissa and morticia's relationship, that has occurred when they were underage. i mention that they engaged in sex. it is only mentioned, and not explicitly described. do you need me to write all of that out under the title in order not to send anon hate and clutch your pearls in disgust? or can you just read the story and decide if it's for you or not?

i implore you to read all of my works as a story, without attaching a moral judgement to characters' actions. if and when you do attach a moral judgement and form an opinion, pls remember those are fictional characters, and i am an author exploring certain themes bc i can and it interests me to do so. i want to write unconventional stories, controversial stories, romantic stories, funny stories, horror stories, i want to explore everything. everybody who reads is invited to look at them as a piece of fiction they can enjoy or not enjoy, and nothing more. i hope to take you on a journey that leaves you with something to remember, good or bad, but impactful.

from now on, i will probably write longer works and venture into darker themes (next thing i'm planning is murder mystery/thriller). there will still be fluffy pieces, but i just want to push myself out of my comfort zone. i would like to associate with fandom ppl who are open-minded and can read a piece of fiction without going ballistic. if you look at things black and white, you likely won't like my fiction -- and that's okay.

however, if for any reason you want to send me hate, you will absolutely be blocked. i am a person, and i do not deserve insults and rudeness in my inbox. it's easy to feel empowered and feel like you're fighting for A Cause (TM) and attach the Bad Guy etiquette to a single person. that can feel like you're solving something. esp when ppl accuse me of promoting actual p3dophilia -- that's a cause everyone can get behind. banish the evil p3do apologist!

i am a victim of child sexual abuse, that went on all throughout my formative years, and into my adult age, simply because i thought that's how it must be. that experience has scarred me beyond belief. i don't want to share the details. it's not smth i'm sharing for pity points, nor do i need anyone's sympathy. however, it is an experience that has shaped who i am, and perhaps for that reason, combined with other things, is why i'm drawn to certain themes in fiction. i don't owe anybody an explanation as to why i choose certain topics, but since there have been idiots in my inbox who have accused me of harming victims of minor sexual abuse, i feel compelled to say something. fuck you for using a group of suffering ppl to support your own flimsy arguments born out of puritanism and inability to cope with heavy themes in fiction.

you are absolutely welcome to CIVILLY discuss your opinions about the fic with me -- off anon, exclusively. but i know nobody will, bc this isn't about the actual contents of my fic, this is about the delicious morally righteous thrill of a witch hunt.

enjoy the fic. i will post next wednesday.

[1eoness]

hi! could i request something fluffy? maybe leon spoiling reader with some meal, or cuddles? thanks! ❤️

mentioning meals I AM THE REMINDER TO GO GET A SNACK AND REJUVENATE

and yes ofc i love writing fluffy fluffy hehehehe (im kind of uncreative rn so sorry). btw i'm writing this in the same format as the other one but if you want it to be more structured and narrative just uh tell me LOL

content : fluffy leon kennedy x gender neutral!reader (it's written in second person though). pet names lol

synopsis : leon wants to spoil you so he's feeding you and providing you with an army's ware of cuddles >:)

-food is fuel and leon is a fucking engine

-tbh i hc that leon has a big appetite for sweet stuff,,,, i'm sure a big collective of ppl agree bc he's so squishy squishy [what the fuck am i saying idk]

-anyway enough about me gushing on leon.

-YOU. when will you ever take the time to let him spoil you? are you trying to avoid him?:((

-leon is part kidding. he's not mad ofc but sometimes he can't help but get a tiny bit worried about you sometimes.

-see, leon is a firm believer that a person cannot come to their best senses unless their basic/psychological needs are fulfilled. that includes things like eating, or affection—because when your body senses that you're lacking in something, it will use your brain power to signal you that you need to eat or be smothered with affection! hence you can end up feeling burnt out if u dont pay attention to ur love vitals!! >:(

-leon's mindset will always be applied on you because you're his second heart, you're his tough rock and you need to be taken care of!!

-HE KNOWS WHAT YOU'RE THINKING "affection? that's absurd people can still learn attentively and work efficiently without having to be coddled >:(" while yes in a sense its true—but sometimes you just don't realize that what you need is some time to be vulnerable and intimate, which can explain why your emotions feel a lot more heightened recently than usual (which he notices by the way). you've been tense for a while, and leon reasons that you can't just 'move on' from being overwhelmed with work stress and whatnot—you have to relieve it! but enough about theory.

-your hunger for food or affection is like a 7th sense to leon to be honest. while it's not an accurate intuition everytime, he's bound to think of you once every like two minutes.

-leon actually has very clear and high critical thinking skills. this means he is able to remember a lot of things about you even if he only notices them or you mention it once: this includes your comfort drink, where you like to be touched, hell maybe even the MBTI of your favorite character. and he ESPECIALLY knows what food you like. pad thai, sushi, oxtail, jerk chicken, cake, boba, YOU NAME IT HE KNOWS IF YOU LOVE IT OR NOT

-so when it actually came to asking you what you wanted, he'd send a text saying he's downtown and asking you 'what would you like, baby?'. he's careful with his words and doesn't say "do you want me to get you something on the way?" because it means he's giving you a choice >:( when the whole point is to spoil you because you deserve it.

-and if you answer with something vague like 'anything' HE DOESN'T MAKE YOU SPEAK FURTHER he'll just buy what he knows u like and keep the rest in the fridge if you dont wanna eat it :3 well that's what they're for, right?

"oh, my sweet.." his voice was quaint at the sight of you. leon tried his best to be silent when he entered the room, not wanting to sound like he was pitying you, but seeing you half-covered with comforters, mildly upset and your mind in a frazzle has his heart dropping a bit. you were probably thinking about so many things: meeting some deadlines, picking up this and that from the store, computing this... but you just couldn't organize your thoughts. but that's why leon was here.

your head moved to swivel his direction. "leon.." you smile at him weakly.

it was cold in the city tonight. leon places a hefty white plastic bag of your favorite on the nearby surface before he sits down in front of you from the edge of your bed. he takes the brief second of studying his lover's face before he pulls you into a comforting and warm hug. he can't help but pat the back of his sweet baby's head down, and you feel his lips barely nuzzle onto your ear as he mutters. "y're so good to me, baby. you know that?" leon reminds you before kissing the side of your head shortly. you tried to reciprocate it by giving him a nimble kiss on his cheek, which he gratefully accepts with an eager beam on his lips.

his hands slide down your arms in a soft stroke as he lets go of you gently. the rustling of the bed's layers being heard as leon moves a bit to reach for the hefty boxes of food, which he opens for you once he gives you take your utensil/s. leon's happy seeing you eat. it's a form of reassurance to him personally witnessing you getting the fill you deserve after a whole few days of being so busy and rushing everywhere. it's a calming sense to him as you both soak in comfortable silence while he watches you eat. he was caring less that it's 2 in the morning and caring more about the way the color on your face slowly vibrates back onto your features. you seem less tired, just by a tad percentage. it makes him smile to himself knowing he was able to take care of you. " 'm finished." you mumbled with a hum, feeling a little full and having to lie down. fullness makes you sleepy (and leon knows that!) so he has a subtle, cheeky little grin as he leans over and collects your legs with one arm, pulling you to make you lie on your back. he crawls over to lie down next to you, once again pulling you close to him while he wraps his arms around you— one patting and planted gently on your back while the other cradles your head close to his heart. just where you belong... "you tired, baby?" leon asked shortly and your little nod sufficed. his cheek gently rests against the side of the crown of your head. his touch is soft, it's sweet as he rubs and scratches down your back gently. he gently scruffles at your scalp with his other hand's fingertips, and the motions will send you to a hopefully revitalizing sleep ♡. he places a kiss on the top of your head, like a ribbon keeping its gift from falling apart :( he knows at this moment maybe you're thinking you don't deserve him. but that's so far from the truth.

[hanlimz]

JUNGWONSPIDERMANAU

cass. pls dont say that and just. LEAVE. expand. i would like to hear your thoughts 🎤

bc truly spider-man/peter parker was my first love and personally i have had the idea for a jake as spider-man au for quiet a bit now but it has never really taken off but now i NEED to hear all your thoughts.

(also if u have any good spider-man au fic recs pls send them my way thnx 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩)

PLSSS I COULD TALK FOREVER!!!! BUT OKAY—here are some bullet points plus a small blurb/summary/idk? i literally am going to write so much im so SORRY??? (this has convinced me n i will be writing a fic LMAOO)

(+ two vvvv good spiderman fic recs!!)

it’s safe here (with me) by @enhypenandpaper !! | very cute story, well-written, i love when writers can put their own unique spin on scenes that inspire them it’s rly motivating and wonderful (i need to rb this on my fic rec blog asap) (jake x reader)

i’ll save you (again) by @jayflrt !! | amazing stupendous wonderful show-stopping ,, literally one of my Favorite reads on this app .. this author manages to encapsulate both spiderman And jake sosososo well .. they also make it a point to rly flesh out the other friendships mentioned and I Love That (jake x reader)

general hcs (?):

won is the dorkiest spiderman ever .. stutters over his quips, never has anything cool to say to the villains he fights, doesn’t know how to respond to ppl thanking him

one time someone he saved tried to ask for his number and he panicked and said he was banned from both t-mobile and verizon (he’s not btw)?? 

another time he just got done saving a group of ppl n said “no thneeds necessary” ?? bc he was trying to say “no need to thank me” n “no thanks necessary” at the same time

but he’s also the sweetest .. any time someone asks to “repay him” he’s a double it n give it to the next person kinda guy .. he always tells them to stop by the soup kitchen or donate old clothes to thrift stores or just be kind to someone else

also ,, on another note ,, won has the Biggest crush on u and knows u like to help out at the local preschool, so he always tells ppl to buy and donate extra school supplies

sometimes when he’s out patrolling late at night, he’ll see u on ur way home from the library n quietly follow u to make sure u get home safe

tries to talk to u once after seeing a spiderman article open on ur computer and u indulge him for a moment, saying how bad u felt abt the daily bugle’s tabloid pieces .. won’s p sure his heart exploded

but overall, he’s very gentle and kind .. ever the king of duality tho .. he can beat a bitch up when need be, but most of the time—won’s just a high school senior trying to get into MIT and make the person he’s been in love with since the beginning of fall semester feel the same way abt him

ANYWAYS in a high school!au setting i see a lot of ppl like to hc jungwon as class/stuco president, but i think he’s definitely more on the quiet side .. he’s popular, yes, but not too popular if that makes sense. for him, though, this is perfect ... he flies under the radar, and him missing school a couple days in a row every month or so goes virtually unnoticed. HOWEVER, you’ve always had a sneaking suspicion .. it’s not like you and won are Rivals—there would be no merit in picking an unnecessary fight with the boy who volunteers at the soup kitchen on the weekends and feeds the stray cats near the gym and asks the lunch ladies how their days are going—but, there’s something strange going on. you’re sure of it.

jungwon comes into school one day w a busted lip and a black eye. everyone is fawning over him, asking him what happened—did he get mugged, did his face hurt, did he give the other person a run for their money? you don’t bother checking in on him when he takes his seat next to you. you just hand him his calculus test (he did better than you again n it’s infuriating) and clench your jaw, willing yourself to disappear. that familiar, green monster hangs in the shadows behind you, and its breath fans across your neck as it attempts to coax a physical manifestation of jealously from your lips. eventually, you excuse yourself to the nurse’s office and skip the rest of the day.

later that night, you’re trying to study in your room, but you keep getting distracted by the daily bugle’s twitter updates. spiderman is out and about again, and they won’t let the poor guy’s good reputation rest. it’s all “spiderman fights villain and knocks over streetlight onto local man’s car” and “spiderman forgoes saving lady’s churro to destroy half of grand central station”—and, honestly, you feel a bit bad. he’s trying his best. but, as rain patters against your window, the sound threatens to lull you to sleep. exhaustion overtakes your body, your eyes are drooping, and your head keeps falling from your hands. and then BOOM—the loudest noise you’ve ever heard startles you from your fatigue-induced trance. with a look of fear in your eyes, you glance over your shoulder to look at the window and the sight that greets you is enough to freeze every molecule in your body.

the aforementioned hero is clinging to the side of your building, banging his fist on the glass and practically begging to be let in. his movements are frantic and a bit scary. you open the window as quick as you can and let him slide through the small gap you’ve created. there are copious tears in his suit, blood flows from a nasty gash on his shoulder. rushing around on some crude form of auto pilot, you grab a clean shirt from your closet and press it into his wound. you tell him to hold it there and instruct him to sit in your desk chair. he's sopping wet from head to toe, and all you manage to think about is how glad you are that your parents are away for the weekend.

eventually, after only almost vomiting once, the cut is clean and bandaged up. "you're so lucky that i've been trying to get rid of this shirt forever, mr. spiderman," you scoff as he perches on the sill of your window, preparing to swing away into the night. "if i had grabbed one of my favorite outfits, i would've killed you before that wound could have."

a giggle escapes from his lips, and for a moment, you find yourself taken aback. he sounds like a high schooler—young, lively, and everything but the twenty-something year old man you thought he would be. "sorry about that ... i'll have to swing by and drop off some laundry detergent one of these days," he laughs. his voice sounds so familiar, but your mind is still reeling from your recent discovery. the hero offers you a wave and gestures toward his previous seat. "sleep well—and, good luck on that calculus homework."

the next day at school, jungwon is nowhere to be seen. you thank whatever happens to reside in the sky that he can't see the bright red 67 at the top of your most recent calculus test. the next next day, however, jungwon comes in with his arm in a sling. as his seatmate, you're the one that has to help him out for the rest of the week. but, when you're sitting in free period, you happen to take another glance at the bandages around his shoulder as jungwon naps next to you. a sharp column of ice pierces through your lower abdomen; under jungwon's sling, the lowest layer of bandages are covered with dried blood and sweat.

they look eerily familiar. almost like the ones you used to patch spiderman up over the weekend.

but, jungwon couldn't be spiderman. he couldn't be—he's too sweet, too gentle, too kind. peeking over at his backpack, you note that it seems a bit bulkier today; a recognizable purple cap winks at you from the unzipped main pocket. a chill tickles the length of your spine as you register what happened to be resting against his class notebooks.

laundry detergent?

you pause for a moment.

oh.

oh god.