#asphodelproject

[ginadope]

wide-eyed

Do souls sleep? Or do they drift near Faint lights, floating From one thought to another Suddenly wide-eyed Finding a palpable warmth A mirage of the heart

They brush past mysteries; curious they Shed light on how heaven still lingers around him My shadow in July They wander and they wonder Why does Venus gaze so bright? Is she whispering a secret Or has she fallen in love?

[only-ives-writings]

Why, hello, there!

It is I, Ives, and this is my writing blog!

A blog for only my writings, because my main blog for writing, @itisiives , has been overrun with memes and shitposts and rants, and I needed a way to make finding my writings easier and less messy. So though I will still post writings to my main blog, I'll be reblogging them here!

So, the basics:

- Likes writing. Am currently working on an interracial WLW romance novel.

- Has some works published (Spilled Milk, Motel 8, and "Thistle" in the Janus Literary magazine)

- Likes reading (Faves are fantasy, LGBTQ romance -- or any LGBTQ rep, really -- poetry, memoirs, and scifi)

- Likes PC games (currently in love with Life Is Strange and coercing my friends into playing it)

- Likes YouTube commentary videos like Strange Aeons, Zachary Michael, D'Angelo Wallace, Jarvis Johnson, and Tom Harlock

- Am a university student. Halfway to my Bachelor's! (follow my academic endeavors at @youneedtostudyives )

If any of that sounds interesting to you, then let's be mutuals! I'll follow from my main blog.

My social media:

Twitter: itisi_ives

TikTok: it.is.i.ives

Instagram: itisiives

Tribel: itisiives

YouTube: Ives Phillips

[itisiives]

I'm bleeding out of my mouth, love

And I'm drooling through my teeth, love

And I'm sweating out the sick, love

And I'm pissing out the sex, love

This isn't necromancy, love, just the steps to it.

[ginadope]

It would be a shame To leave this dagger to a newly born spring Merge into words, longing, and heavenly tricks

Turn prose into poetry Fire into a bloodless thought

Between the worlds  Nothing was artful about silence It had a body, was a trapped animal 

Lure the breath back in Waiting by the door again - shame Leaving them ajar Just enough

[ginadope]

so so skeletal

This infinite system Keeps reserved minds  Between door and key of an unending room It opens countless windows To mesmerise -  never to touch; do not come close

All powers untold  Or those not so skeletal  Call humour balance  They see through my eyes Read all I write of ruthlessness  Ensure I do not forget the dawn

[ginadope]

waiting!

There is an edge between me and myself  Emotions elude me Hidden close yet out of reach  Where has the art gone? Merely blood and breath, that is what is left  I do not understand; I held my heart gently Did I stir some cosmic brew? Is this nature unrestrained? I do not understand 

I am a trapped animal  I can do nothing but wait

[ginadope]

renaming the light

That heart you bared  Before me on a vivid night - it was a dagger of gold, a wounded silence

You do not matter - only your name  Rulers, inescapably human Stubbornly renaming the light - revered ghosts with familiar bodies

Rebellion through tenderness  Is what my meagre palms can offer  Our river's poem says: 'To deal with the inevitable  Is also an art' Hold the brush and let me guide your hand Talk to me - I long to warm you Me, a mere naïve spark

[ginadope]

No evil is necessary Just automatic The sharp-edged rulebook Chapter one of dread A scratched finger Not allowed to heal for a thousand years

Countless melodies yet to be heard But without plunder, without This revered contempt A writer would be born, a writer and a listener To create and to understand - that in itself is not hard, still Insecurity has its fears

[ginadope]

the colour not green

Nature wants me to follow - the colour of her song is green - From the womb of the goddess of mystery  Right to the edge of the known

Sister, mother My breath is compliant  Mornings reprieved by numbing their stir I might one day dissolve in my own veins 

I left the door ajar for you, for Another chance to be born twice  I feel you watch the struggle  Of a mind laid bare before the dusk Weakness, if you wish

[ginadope]

rulebooks

What large eyes you have! Seeking the sin of chasing sleep Chasing it so ceaselessly  That you forget to dream Every shadow an enemy  Shame, a habit soon to form As the law remains obscured 

Only liars seek me after 9pm  The guilt I was gifted — a mere act I will not redo ancient art;  Instead, I will hold dear every foolish step I took out of love  How I poked a sleeping god  Found a part of the deep  One that was never far

The keys I dropped did not free you I freed myself 

[ginadope]

veil of fear!

That light in your eyes - that perhaps only I have seen - Does not belong to this world Spoken in a language unknown Or simply forgotten It hopes to assure me:

Happiness is greater than loathing Contempt will only bring embarrassment And nausea One bitter rather than sweet pierces your tongue Yet truly the taste is only noise You follow illusion tangled in an act

Watch me, my heaven-sent Fear clings to the air But watch me breathe

[ginadope]

somebody's fault

The silence was about to hear its last song  Yet was slain A godling unripe had the right And let it grow teeth

Some carry a simple prayer  A plea that words can only harm They never die - they simply have one chance  To be heard, catch the mask   Find a gentler light

If its edge is sharp  They will never be pure again

[ginadope]

quicksand

The moment is a quicksand  The gentle heresy of 'last time' My new eyes, a deeper shade of blue - they paint A darker picture  The one I carelessly leave behind

This mind is a sadist Ensuring they clearly see How I am being chewed on  By the flaw's unwitting cub  Only shame clings to my bones as I Lick the wounds 

A devoted disciple, am I not? My novel body and same old will  I will surrender 

For the last time

[ginadope]

what the night already knows

I opened a holy book Full of poetry and a king's tears

Two creatures of longing  We carry sins right by our bones  Do you believe four hands Could sculpt something tender? That sometimes the night gets quiet And the Sun sets too quickly - to draw the constellation  No one else could map 

I shall write your days to come In gentle words  Soothe those that passed And mine? Mine I simply wish To tell about

[ginadope]

heart in the shadow

Your irises mirror mine; yet they Turn my marrow to envy  I think of burnt art  Only to retreat within myself Run from shame I lose my own trust 

Heart in the shadow Wants to blame the Sun  Blame Him for setting too soon, too often My lab-grown spirit  A reflection blinking just a beat too slow  How I wish I could convince myself  They forced my hand

[ginadope]

it was never supposed to be me

I am a field of bones  Greed and stagnation  Chew on my body The art of dawn Dimmed to a mirage 

Draw a deep breath for me  Guide my palms, gently Shield me from shame Turn it into clarity 

I only ever wished To leave myself behind