#ass in the sand far enough away that the music wasn’t too loud + I got a camp fire + my back was to the stage lights but I could see some

[61below]

… oh godfucking dammit, I just realized that ONCE AGAIN, my hyperfixations (that have sound) have all been shows that do wonderful things with bass.

[tomsrebeleyebrow]

ocean eyes | ho x fem!reader (merman au)

credits to myself for the moodboard

Summary: Sometimes, having a crush might be a difficult matter to deal with... even more when the aforesaid crush turned to not be who you thought it was at first sight. 

Warnings: mention of ANGST (suicidal thoughts), language, SMUT including unprotected sex (wrap it up kiddo), lots of gridding and PDA, oral (fem receiving) and a glimpse of handjob.

Word Count: 8.7k (oh my what)

A/N: So... I’M BACK BABYYY, with some hot stuff too 🔥✨ And particularly with this quite original AU that was sleeping in my drafts for like two months and more… oopsie? 😂😅 Also I felt like our Hazza boy needed some love so here we gooo 👀 But oh lord is it good to be back to writing again! Thank you again to all of you who supported me and made me want to come back here 🥺💕 I’d be nothing without you all… So please, enjoy this oneshot, show me your support and there is also a brand new taglist below you can subscribe to if you like my writings (or you can definitely turn your notifications on to know each time I post) 😌🙏🏻

masterlist | ⚠️ new taglist ⚠️ | your support

“Tom, are you sure he's going to be there?”

“I promise (Y/N), I made sure to have Harry and Sam ask just in case. I'm pretty sure he’d be coming only to show off a little and for the free booze as always, but he will be there nonetheless.”

You couldn't help the giddy smile that spread to your lips, clasping your hands together with excitement. Tom was your best friend for three years now and definitely the best wingman you ever knew - true to the rumours, as the brunette was making sure the person you couldn't stop thinking about would participate at this (quite extravagant) vacation Tom decided to organise in the Maldives.

That person had been at a previous get together you had with some friends but as strange as it may have seemed, once knowing his outgoing personality he was such a loner and that made him hard to approach. Harrison, Tom’s best friend. Around your age and incredibly handsome that you couldn't get him out of your mind. These nice blonde locks of hair that turned slightly darker now, slightly curly when too long, a well toned body and not to mention the brightness of his blue eyes, almost translucent but reminding you of the vastness of the ocean.

That boy completely stole your heart... and didn’t really speak to you that much.

It was not that you didn't try to talk to Harrison before but most of the time, he would just ignore you or at some point look disinterested in his surrounding until he would just leave. Today you were more determined. And even if the blond man came off like a snob or a jerk - Tom assuring you he was not at all -, you really wanted to take some time to get to know him.

“Thanks for asking me to join the trip, Tom” you said, “I can't believe you suddenly felt like “taking a break and let’s get wild and free to the Maldives’ really” you beamed excitedly, trotting before your brunette friend while taking a whiff of the air, completely infatuated with the smell of the salty ocean water in the distance.

“Come on, that’s all fine (Y/N)” smiled Tom as he joined your side, “you needed that little vacation anyway.”

“You’re such a div, really… Moviestar...”

“Hey! Don’t call me that now!”

Laughing, you both trailed up the floorboard pathway on the white sand that leaded to the beautiful couples of straw huts on piles. The little floating houses were already teeming with lots of people, most faces you definitely didn’t know at all but you still managed to catch sight of Tom’s twin brothers and some other mutuals friends of yours. A smiling Maldives’ waiter welcomed and guided both of you down the plank pathway to the first straw hut where at least twenty people were already dancing and enjoying themselves. After seeing how extravagant this kind of party could be, you almost regretted wearing a simple white beach dress with your bikini underneath, but everyone else was dressed as casual as you were as well so you felt much better.

After grabbing some punch and chatting with your friends you (finally) found for a bit, you kept looking around for Harrison but it looked like he didn’t arrived yet. At least that was what you thought until you spotted him in the shadow of another straw hut further away, leaning on the rails and staring out at the crystal clear ocean. He was alone there, away from the loud music coming from the other huts mixed with the constant laughers of the guests. You’ve never been more happy to finally find him that you were not going to let any shyness hold you back, and then you made your slow approach towards him.

“Hey Harrison, it's nice to see you again” you began, trying to not seem too excited. “I didn't know you were going to be here...” you lied through your teeth but it was a small white one, as you stepped up next to his right side.

Harrison’s cheek tilted in your direction for the briefest of seconds, giving you a small moment to admire his bright eyes before quickly turning away. A frown ghosted over your lips but you held your ground, trying to start a small conversation with him but nothing you said seemed to interest him. After several minutes of trying and failing just to get him to speak, you leaned out and looked at the water before whispering.

“You must really like the ocean...”

“I fuckin’ hate the ocean” Harrison snapped, startling you it almost made you jump backwards.

His voice was a lot deeper than you imagined, such a tone with a pretty defined accent could charm you right out of your clothes with very little effort. You shook your head at such misplaced thoughts before looking up at his face as Harrison was glaring spitefully into the distance, both his hands gripping the wood banister as if ready to rip it in half.

You never saw such a troubled expression before that you instinctively grabbed the blonde’s wrist and gave his hand a tug.

“If you don't like the ocean, stop giving it your attention and enjoy the party” you interrupted his train of thoughts, surprising yourself by such boldness. “Come dance with me, I promise I'm not as clumsy as I look.”

It was astonishing even to yourself that Harrison allowed you to pull him away to guide him over the center of the empty straw hut you were both in.

“You may have a very goofy face, so I bet you really are clumsy” the blond man snorted, his fine lips quirking up into a grin but you didn't mind at all, specially since he just looked so dreamy with that teasing smile on his face.

You giggled while taking more initiative by sliding one hand around his hip and taking his own in the other, your heart skipped a beat at the way Harrison interlocked your fingers together with his.

“You better not step on my feet” he warned, before sighing, “... not promising I won’t, though.”

Giggling, you immediately took the lead as Harrison slid his other hand to the middle of your back. You gladly fell into his steps, doing your best to prove you at least had some sophistication. No doubt in your mind, you'd be so embarrassed if you did actually step on his foot. On the other hand, Harrison had the perfect build for dancing, even if it felt like he wasn't exactly sure about what he was doing at the moment. It wasn't like it was hard though, just simple stepping you both back and forth to the music with the occasional spin was all he had to do. But still, dancing was not an easy matter for anyone.

Eventually it seemed very natural to step closer to each other, resting your hands on his hips while his own swayed down to your lower back before settling on the curve that started the shape of your bottom. You moved together, getting lost in the heat of his build upper body, unable to stop the hopeful feelings boiling inside.

The music switched to a more beat heavy and bopping rhythm, so you detached only to turn in his grasp and sway your hips back and forth against him. It took literally less than a second for his own hands to slide around your waist and maneuver your behind to rub up against his crotch. Both of you tuned the world out and danced so intimately, it felt like nothing else mattered.

“Maybe you were right, you don't have two left feet after all” Harrison mumbled against the back of your head, pulling his hands back just enough to hold your hips tight and sway you from side to side.

You blushed softly at the way the blond boy curved you into his taller more muscular shape, the heat of his hands and skin giving you courage to delicately rest your own hands on his own hips and meet his movements.

“Thanks, but I'm just following your lead… It feels really nice to dance with you” you whispered to him, momentarily closing your eyes as you leaned back against his chest. "My name is (Y/N), by the way. Tom’s friend. Uhm, I tried talking to you back then at the Brighton party from a few weeks ago but—” you trailed off, forcing an awkward smile even if Harrison couldn't see your face.

“I remember you” Harrison cut off. He huffed, his grip suddenly tightening against your stomach before he purposefully felt down the shape of your legs along your soft dress. “The chatterbox who talked to me for like fifteen minutes even though I never said a word back.”

“O-oh…”

The forlorn tone in your voice was unmistakable as you pulled away from his grasp and tried to excuse yourself.

“I’m sorry, I never meant to bother you… I just wanted to talk…”

Your eyes became a bit glossy. You truly hoped Harrison would remember you but it didn't sound like you left a good first impression. But then his firm hand latched onto your wrist, halting your movement before you could step too far away and instantly yanked you back hard enough to stumble into his chest.

“I never said you could leave, (Y/N)...”

With purpose his other hand slid down to the bottom of your ass, making sure you couldn't escape as he held you still, tightly.

“If you haven't noticed, right now we are doing more than talking. You invited me to dance... s-so let’s dance.”

Once again, you followed his lead as the blond boy began moving you both around the hut. One of your hands was pressing flatly against his chest but soon it slowly shifted up to his shoulder, meeting his movement and curving your body into the posture of his own. It was both heart racing and felt so natural to dance with him that you didn’t really know far that long.

Some time passing, you talked with Harrison while dancing and, like you had promised yourself, got to know him a little more. At first, the boy was the one to ask you tons of questions, not really letting you a second to ask something back but after a bit, you learned that Harrison was an actor, slowly making his place into the industry and the current big project he was working on. He also only came here because the boy like partying in general, also for Tom obviously and for the drinks.

It made you smile, Tom's first hypothesis being correct but you didn't really care about Harrison’s reasons. All that mattered now was that he actually came and was here, with you. He even offered a small excuse for why he was so silent when you tried to talk to him a few weeks ago, as the blonde man had a really stressful day on set and knew if he opened his mouth, it would just be party pooper.

“It's never pleasant for anyone when I'm in a bad mood. So I just stayed silent, but you just went on and on… It was quite entertaining to watch you though” Harrison snickered, watching you puff out your cheeks and call him a jerk for not saying at least something to you, leaving out the part where you thought he was just some player and you weren't pretty enough for him.

Eventually you both got tired of dancing after several songs and went to sit on the stairs which leaded to the sea. While going, you also got a silent thumbs up from a dancing and slightly drunk Tom in another straw hut whom seemed to be wishing you luck, which you were grateful for.

After talking a little more on the wooden stairs, the ocean breeze just felt and smelled really delightful that you pointed down to the wharf and turned to Harrison with a bright hopeful smile.

“We should go for a walk down by the beach!”

“Really now?” Harrison scowled, turning his face away. “The damn ocean is already surrounded us now, why would you even go walk along it…”

With a sigh the boy stood, shoving both of his hands in his dark bermuda pockets and walking away. A frown formed on your lips turning away to grip the bottom of your dress, trying to remain strong as you weren't going to beg him for sure.

“Fine. I'll go by myself… I-I can enjoy the moonlight even if I'm alone.”

Harrison turned back, watching you not even spare him another glance before carefully taking the steps down the hut you were to then walk onto another flootboard path to the front of the beach. Once back on land, you slid off your sandals and smiled at the soft feeling of the still warm sand beneath your feet.

The ocean breeze rustled through your loose hair and the salty smell of the water wafted into your nose as you walked along by the edge of the waves. The cold and clear water lapped at your feet and over your ankles, before you stopped and looked up at the luminous moon casting a beautiful bright glow down against the surface of the water. With a subtle turn, you glanced at both your sides before a small tear ebbed down your cheek.

“I'm always alone… does anyone actually see me?”

You got to dance with who you can qualify as your crush and he finally talked to you tonight… and yet, you were still not satisfied. Way far from being satisfied. You have friends for course, but no one can see how much you were hurt deep inside.

I wish I could just walk out into the ocean and never come back.

Lifting your legs you took a step or two towards the glorious and vast ocean, only to have a warm hand suddenly grab a hold of your wrist. Turning, your eyes widen at the sight of Harrison’s diamond orbs, a tear involuntarily gliding down your cheek that you quickly wiped away with an abrupt turn.

“I see you, (Y/N)” the blonde man said, simply tugging your hand and getting you to step out of the path of the oncoming calm waves so he wouldn't get wet.

“You wanted to walk, right? So let’s walk, come on...”

With a tight but not harsh grip on your hand, Harrison interlocked your fingers and nearly dragged you along beside him as you stepped further down the immense beach of the island.

You'd never been more grateful that Harrison didn’t called attention to the fact that you were crying, even if he clearly heard what you said for sure. The warmth of his palm and slender fingers were incredibly soothing to the loneliness inside your heart. Without even a second thought, you indulged sliding your other hand around his elbow and laying your head on his shoulder.

Just for a moment, that’s all I need...

His beautiful eyes casted down to the top of your head, gritting his teeth wondering why he just couldn't leave you alone... even though the boy had no intention of getting this close to anyone. Harrison leaded the way slowly further down the beach, avoiding the waves and glaring spitefully at the water, hopefully he wouldn't have to get any closer to it, this being his only goal at the moment.

“... thank you.”

“I didn't do anything.”

You smiled slowly detaching from his shoulder, until your hands were the only thing still connected. Even in pure silent but with the sound of the waves in the background, it felt peaceful and not being alone was just a million times better than the expansive loneliness you were consumed with a minute ago. Taking a small leap you pointed up to the wharf and ask if you can walk up there together.

Harrison flared his nostrils but still took you both over to the stairs, guiding your way up until you were walking along the light wooden platform. Slowly you started talking again, realizing for some reason you were just so comfortable with him even if this was only the second time you’ve met within the span of a few weeks.

Even if Harrison had somehow a bit of a moody attitude, you could tell he was not a bad company. When his handsome facial features were fully relaxed and able to laugh and smile, those were some of the best moments but it felt like he had troubles opening up and letting himself have fun.

With the moon at your back and being alone with him, the moment felt so right. So you worked up the courage to ask him “the” question you wanted to since the first time you met. Letting go of his hand you stepped in front of him, pushing back your hair that was becoming delightfully frazzled by the ocean breeze and smiled at him, shyly.

“Harrison, I was wondering… if you had a girlfriend—”

“I do.”

“Oh...” you whispered, the smile on your face faltering for the briefest of seconds but you quickly recovered, not letting it bring you down before you turned around and held your hands behind your back. “I... expected a handsome guy like you to be taken, so I'm honestly not surprised.”

There was suddenly a heavy pang inside your chest, but you couldn’t ask for anything more than what Harrison had already given you.

“I had fun dancing with you, and also got you, the brick wall, to talk” you said while turning back to face the blonde with a gentle expression. “I-I, well I basically had a crush on you— I know it's pretty silly… but you were kind to me in your own way, so thank you. I promise I won’t bother you a-anymore…”

The expression on Harrison’s face kind of made him hard to read, but you were honestly trying to not look as you walk past him, briefly grazing against his hand before trying to make your grand escape.

The thump in your chest throbbed so loudly that it was rather painful and the only thing you could focus on, which was why it startled you so much when the blonde man abruptly turned and grabbed your elbow that your foot missed the platform while you tried to pull away. The next thing you knew was that you were plummeting off the side of the wharf, panic flaring into your eyes and desperately trying to grab onto his arm.

But it was too late. And you were now falling in the ocean.

You squealed in fear, watching Harrison not even waste a single second before diving in after you. Both of his muscled arms wrapped around your body and switched your positions so he was bracing your fall, as you both smacked into the cold waves of the water and instantly sinked below the surface.

It took you a moment but your eyes slowly opened under the cold water, feeling jarred and vision momentarily blurry before they focused on Harrison. Bubbles flubbed from your lips as you called to him and waded through the water until you were finally right in front of him. His expression churned your heart as the boy looked so utterly distressed, so you couldn’t help but cup his cheeks and lift his head to focus on you...

But then, you trailed down and immediately thought this must be a dream.

Below his toned torso was displayed a long and beautiful turquoise colored tail fin covered in scales, a mixed of varied shades of blue shimmering with the moon ray. It was as bright as a freshly full moon, flowered out like it was encased in multiple diamonds. It was definitely the prettiest thing you have ever seen, that you couldn’t help yourself but glide your hand down to pet along its base.

Your fingers barely got to note that bumpy texture before Harrison grabbed your hand and placed his own against your cheek. Your skin warmed as the blond boy pulled you closer and shook his head, a troubled look on his face that you had no idea how to help him before he parted his lips and spoke directly to you, no bubbles coming out of his mouth, just words.

“Why couldn't you just leave me alone?!”

His words were like a stab to your heart that you just darted forward to wrap both arms around his frame, sliding your head over his shoulder flubbing “I'm sorry” to him over and over, until your body started to fall lax and your eyes slid closed, the need for oxygen overwhelming your body. Everything began to fade until you felt him grip your hips, wading his fin back and forth until you were above the water and coughing for air.

With a shove Harrison detached you from his body, watching as the waves carry you back to the shore by the beach. Your eyes fluttered a thousand times, panting and trying to exert more air back into your waterlogged lungs, before focusing on him. The moment your lips parted to call him out, you noted the angry expression on his face before the blond merman turned and dived down back into the water, swimming away at the speed of light.

“W-wait! Please, Harrison!”

You stood there, looking back and forth and as far out into the ocean as your eyes possibly could but Harrison was long gone by now.

“... Please, come back” you slowly whispered, gripping both of your hands over the front of your now heavy and completely soaked dress.

The way your heart thumped into overdrive was almost as painful as the heartbreak you experienced just moments before the fall.

* * * *

After sitting on the shore for the longest time, hoping with all your heart that the blond boy would come back, it became obvious after nearly an hour that he wasn't going to return. Shivering, you walked back towards the main straw hut and waved off all of your friends’ concerns, saying you just went for a little dip in the water.

The party winded down after awhile with everyone departing and respectively returning to their hotel. You went back and waited like a lost puppy on the wharf for Harrison as long as you could, looking out into the expansive beautiful blue ocean and slowly starting to realize why he hated it and didn't want to be anywhere near it.

It’s my fault. He didn't want anyone to know and I forced him to follow me around. He probably hates me now… but I'd just like to know if he's okay.

“(Y/N)!” Tom called out, joining and sliding himself next to you on the wharf. “I was about to head back to the hotel. Want to walk back together?”

He had such a kind and tender smile on his face, almost able to appease you with his slight rosy cheeks due to all the booze he had consumed. If only you'd fallen for someone as gentle and funny as him, maybe you wouldn't be longing for an elusive handsome merman right now.

“Thanks for the offer Tom, but… I think I'd like to stay a little longer, if that’s alright” you spoke softly, trailing off why you wanted to torture yourself any longer but you just hoped so much Harrison would come back.

“That’s totally fine, darling. Some people are still at the party, but don’t hesitate to text me if you want me to come back to not walk alone. Or I can even ask a staff member of our hotel to come here and escort you if you prefer. Just tell me, okay (Y/N)?”

You'd never been more grateful to have a friend you can trust like Tom; lovely, helpful and kind hearted. Stepping forward you surprised him with a hug and a soft thank you. After that, Tom said his goodbye's and left. You waited on the wharf another hour by walking back and forth to look at both sides of it, before deciding to sit at the edge. Almost another hour went by and now, it must of been nearly midnight as your doubts were high that the mysterious Harrison most certainly had no desire to ever see you ever again.

The party in the straw huts finally died down, the staff from the restaurant on the island now actively cleaning the mess done by the guests. Eventually, you laid down on the hard floorboard wharf with heavy thoughts that lulled you into a sleep where you dreamed about the warm and enamoring feelings of dancing against his toned and protective frame.

Some time later the sound of steps resonated on the wooden wharf, soon followed by a heavy sigh as someone bended down next to your side, running delicately the back of his knuckles along your cheek.

“I thought you would have left by now… silly.”

The mesmerizing deep octave of his voice jared you awake, a soft smile curving up on your lips at the sight of his astonishing emerald eyes. The blond man frowned before standing up and pulling away, turning around to immediately walk away from you but you suddenly jolted up to grab the back of his pastel hoodie he was now wearing, desperation in your fingertips.

“I'm sorry, Harrison— I… it's my fault. I won’t tell anyone, I promise—”

“Is that all you wanted to say?”

Harrison’s voice was monotone but his face was full of an abundance of emotions he just didn’t want you to see now.

“Y-Yes…” you whispered, letting go of his hoodie. “... I also just wanted to make sure you were okay, and that you didn’t get hurt…”

You smiled softly stepping up to his backside, placing your forehead against the middle of his back indulging for just a moment.

“Your fin is incredibly beautiful…”

One of his hands clenched over his heart, his brows furrowing together while he gnashed his teeth. When you let go and stepped back, the loss of your heat was actually incredibly startling as Harrison turned towards you, to then notice you already began walking away.

“I'm sorry for annoying you… I'll lea—”

“Stop apologizing when you haven't done anything wrong!” Harrison suddenly hissed, latching his hands onto your body from behind gripping your waist so tight it nearly felt like he was trembling.

The gruff sound of his voice had you flinching and your cheeks warming as he buried his astute chin into the fluffy tresses atop your head. His strong and tight grip seemed almost desperate that you weren't sure what to do but your fingers gently layered over his hands, petting and caressing his knuckles. Slowly, the blond man relaxed until his hold was lax enough for you to turn around and look up at his troubled expression. With a smile, you slid your arms around him and gave him a startling hug.

“I know you probably don't like hugs but… they can make people feel better sometimes.”

Such a soft sentence had his expression soften before his own hands slid up around your back, holding you snugly against his muscular chest. His heart was tranquil and steady like the ocean, maybe even as soothing as those blue waves as well. Harrison even had a delightful soft scent that was kind of addicting.

After a few moments, you parted while looking up at his rugged and handsome face. Those translucent and shining orbs were so alluring, so mesmerizing that within just a few seconds, you were leaning forward and pushing yourself up on your tippy toes until your lips were pressed against each other. His slender digits instantly cupped your cheek and slid the other into your hair where he returned the kiss full force.

Warmth washed over your body and simultaneously the words he'd spoken to you before, that had you detaching so abruptly that Harrison literally growled like a wolf full of primal desire.

“I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that… But you have a girlfriend… b-but I can't stop myself from falling for you—”

You tried to turn away, but a yelp of utter surprise escaped your lips as the blonde boy tossed you down and pinned you against the floorboards of the wharf, not harshly to not hurt you.

“You're really naive, I don't have a girlfriend” Harrison rasped, cutting off whatever you wanted to say with another rough kiss, shoving his tongue into your mouth and tasting your startled whimper at his sudden furry. However you weren't about to stop him with the revelation that he lied to you.

The moment his hands let go of your wrist, they lifted and hazed right into the back of his messy dark blonde locks. Both of his own paws trailed lustfully down the shape of your womanly curves before pushing apart your legs and sliding his frame in between. Your skin warmed at the intimate contact of your lower halves pressing together, letting out the smallest moan.

“I don't want to get close to anyone, but you… You don't want to leave me alone or get out of my damn mind” Harrison husked, latching onto your bottom lip as he pulled away, giving it a nibble rough enough to have drool ebbing down your chin.

You panted up at him as the blonde man leaned down and trailed his lips along the soft skin of your neck.

"Ah— Harrison, I j-just wanted to get to know you” you murmured blushing, instinctively tilting your head unable to deny the want inside to feel more of his lips as he sucked on a tender piece of flesh here and there, until you could feel small love bites warming your neck.

“Then let’s get to know each other more… I'll start by getting to know your body, since you saw a part of mine I never wanted anyone else to see” Harrison hazed with a husky layer of desire, biting into the ridge of your ear while purposefully groping over the shape of your breasts, slithering his other hand up your dress.

A soft moan escaped your lips as he felt along the curves of your body, where you couldn't bring yourself to deny him and instead pushed at the back of his head just to press your lips back together. You could feel him smirking as Harrison gladly kissed you over and over again while feeling along the shape of your womanhood against your bikini bottoms.

“Ehem, excuse me but—”

Someone’s voice caught both your attention, trying to pause both of you as delicately as possible but your face was still incredibly red when your eyes locked with a waiter from the party as he found you in such a compromising position.

Pushing at Harrison’s chest you got him to sit up, even though he looked very displeased, but you merely grabbed his hand and pulled him along beside you.

“I'm s-sorry! We didn't mean to—… out here!” you softly apologized to the poor waiter but he shook his head, even if his face was slightly pink.

You were grateful you didn’t get caught into a way more embarrassing position, as you delicately leaded you both down the wharf to set foot on the sand again. Harrison didn’t said a single word but it seemed that the blond man was waiting for you to get further away from the restaurant, still along the beach before slamming you up against the closest palm tree, growling about how annoyed he was to be interrupted.

He snapped forward like a viper and claimed many more hot and heavy kisses, while sliding both hands around your hips and gripping the bottom of your ass to press you into his body as hard as possible. You whimpered at his roughness but tried to answer to his fervor, holding around his shoulders and neck as tightly as you could muster.

Sliding down your jaw Harrison bit into the side of your neck, pushing up your summer dress and lifting your legs to wrap around his waist, just so he could grind against your thinly clothed core to his heart content.

“O-Oh! Harrison!” you mewled to him with heavy desire laced in your breath, tossing your head back as you felt how hard he was already in accurate details.

The blonde boy grinned wickedly, relieved you were a woman who could admit your pleasures and not be utterly shy about them. Extending his tongue he lapped slickly along your neck, trailing back up your jaw until you were kissing feverishly once again. His hips swayed back and forth, rocking into your body a most pleasurable rhythm that would of been even better if Harrison was actually taking you right here right now, but the stimulation was there and it was driving you insane.

You moaned into Harrison’s mouth, unhinged until he pulled away and watched you make erotic overstimulated faces and whimper about how close you were already, which had his ocean eyes wild with primal desire.

“Gonna cum already?” teased the blonde merman, never slowing down while pressing the tip of his still clothed girth up and down your slit over and over again. “We only began and yet I can feel how badly you're twitching already...”

You whined loudly at how unfair his words were, gripping the top of his hoodie for dear life as he bounced you into him until you reached the most startling orgasm unraveled. Harrison chuckled as you felt lax over his shoulder, before licking the ridge of your ear.

“Mhm, we're just getting started, (Y/N)... Hold on tight.”

A tired smile formed on your lips as you circled around him with both of your arms and legs, and let him carry you back… to the hotel you’re staying at. Your mind wanders a few seconds about how the blonde Adonis that was carrying you could have guessed the place you were staying at, as it was not the only resorts on the Maldives’ coast.

“I asked Tom before where you were staying… and also your room number, if you’re wondering” Harrison mumbled as if reading your mind, his lips also finding the skin of your neck again.

Still too intoxicated by Harrison’s previous ministrations, you only recognised now the familiar corridor of your hotel which lead to your room. Coming to a stop you heard the sound of a door opening - definitely your room as you caught a glimpse of the number written on it while walking past - then closing right after.

“You also forgot to ask Tom to give you back your key before he left, silly.”

You let out a little chuckle before hearing the click of the door lock and not even five seconds later, you were almost instantly thrown down onto your very soft queen size hotel bed, feeling the soft sheets against your hot skin. Harrison didn’t waste his time and just pulled his hoodie off his body, offering you a nice view of his well defined abs before hovering back on top of you.

“Now, take off your dress” he then possessively husked, staring deep into your eyes as he gave both of your thighs a firm squeeze.

Such a naughty demand had you skin tingling but after pulling you dress up just a smidgen, you surprised him with a mischievous grin before grabbing and tugging at the tail of his hoodie with no second thought about it. Oh, his eyes met your challenge but didn't stop you as he lifted his hands and let you yank it over his head and toss it randomly behind him.

“Want to unzip and take off my pants too, doll face?”

You giggled at his smug smirk and you being a little vixen, you gave the clear outline of his girth a slow stroke enough to elicit a very tiger like growl from his fine lips, before finally pulling up the thin material of your white summer dress and lifting your ass to pull it over your shoulders, letting it drop onto the floor.

His predator diamond eyes narrowed at the erotic site of you wearing a pink cotton candy bikini, which he could already see through your white dress when you got soaked in the ocean. Harrison watched you blush softly as he trailed both of his hands up your slightly tanned curves, but you smiled petting your own fingertips along his chest enjoying the shape of his astute muscles.

“You look like a piece of candy. I don't really like sweets but…”

He tiptoed his index and middle finger up from your belly button and startled you with the yank of your bikini top until it was easily sliding away from your body, leaving your breasts on full display.

“... I'll make an exception for you ‘cause you look rather delicious.”

Oh, his lips were wrapped around the closest nipple in a matter of seconds, his hot and wet tongue utterly divine as he lapped hazy wet circles while using his other hand to roll and pinch the other tit, smirking at the way you gasped his name and arched your back like you wanted more. The shape of his warm fingers were incredibly enticing.

Licking his lips Harrison switched to the other delectable nip, swaying his tongue back and forth, sucking hard enough to induce a juicy wet pop before trailing a warm kiss or two down your stomach. His sharp intense eyes noted the damp area that outlined your intimate lower lips, no doubt from your previous orgasm and the blonde couldn't help the modicum of pride he had for making you feel that good.

With a look up to your eyes, it was almost surprising that Harrison bothered to pause but you wanted him very much, and didn't mind at all to continue this night of pleasure. One at a time he loosened the loops you had on both sides of your bottoms before sliding the thin material away from your body, leaving you completely bare beneath him.

Your entire skin tingled at the way he took in the unhindered sight of of your naked body, but it wasn't that you were overly embarrassed by it… It was the look in his beautiful ocean eyes that admired your frame like he was noting it to memory. From the trail up your legs, to the intimate area of your womanhood, over your stomach and breasts, until Harrison settled on the way your hair perfectly framed your face.

Sliding over your body he leaned up and cupped your cheeks, edging down to capture your lips for a surprisingly soft kiss like he was thinking about something. You couldn't help but appreciate some tender displays of his attraction as you welcomed the sway of his slippery tongue into your mouth and used your own hands to pet up and down his back muscles.

You mumbled some incoherent words with a soft smile as Harrison swished back down to suck passionately against your rosy little buds. He chuckled against your skin while planting wet and hot kisses, sucking every tender piece of flesh your chest had as he trailed down your stomach and licked teasingly over your belly button, delighted with the little wiggle your body did.

“Come on (Y/N), I want to hear my name roll of your lips as I have my fill of your flavour” the blue eyed merman seductively husked, pushing apart your legs only to instantly glide his tongue down your wet slit. He nearly growled right away at the delightful flavour of your essence and even enjoyed the automatic slide of your hands into the back of his hair, moaning his name on repeat.

“Please Harrison... devour me.”

You pleaded in heavy desperation, tossing and turning your head as the blond man answered your desires by shoving his wet muscle deeply into your core and curling it up and down, thoroughly enjoying your womanly juices.

Harrison’s hands gripped your hips pulling you closer to his tongue, his hot and heavy breath of sexual desire hazing against your clit and inner walls forcing you to twitch and spasm with every new pulse of electrifying pleasure he was providing you. Pulling back he gave one of your lips a pop, getting off on the way your entire body trembled as he worked his tongue up to your clit and licked hazy circles before sucking on it like a delicious piece of candy.

“H-Harrison– o-oh f–!”

A wicked chuckle hazed against your intimate parts, sparing you a solitary glance that told you he had no intention of stopping any time soon. Turning back down to his pleasure swollen target, his tongue lapped at your nectar before swirling as he sucked roughly enough to have you writhing in ecstasy. With heavy lustful desire for you to cum on his tongue, Harrison slid a few of his fingers up against your lower lips caressing up and down to entice you in a sensual V-motion before inserting both his index and middle finger. You whimpered loudly and gave his hair an over stimulated yank, that he didn't seem to care about, as he thrusted back and forth in your walls and got off maliciously on how tight and warm your inner folds were.

All your moaning compliments seemed to feed his hungry desires as the blonde gave you a faster rhythm, sloshing your juices and feeling your pulsating walls in excruciatingly accurate intimate detail. It just took a few more seconds of his tongue pressing against your clit for you to scream out his name in the throws of another vision blurring orgasm. Your slick arousal completely coated his tongue and even the tips of his fingers as he pulled away and made it an erotic show to enjoy them thoroughly.

“Mmh, you taste pretty good…” Harrison complemented with a chuckle, watching as your face darkened with a heavy blush before turning away and whispering how much of a tease he was.

“I do like to tease you, but right now… I'd just like to fuck you as hard as possible. Ready, (Y/N)?”

Such a question made every hair on your arms and legs stand on end, as he showed you the clear haze of lust and desire reflected in his pretty diamond eyes. Instead of answering, you sat up for a brief moment and felt along his abs before working the zipper down on his shorts like he asked earlier, and helped rid him of their tight confines.

The sight of his well endowed cock had you biting the bottom of your lip before bravely stroking his length up and down a few times, planting a kiss or two against his chest. His expression softened before tilting your chin up and capturing your lips, too full of desire to enjoy the feeling of your soft fingertips as he pushed you backwards on the bed again to quickly place his stout leaking tip against your entrance.

Even with your warm cheeks you gladly lifted your legs up for him, and snaked your hands around his slender neck meeting the sway of his tongue as he got a nice grip on your hips and pressed his own forward filling you up completely with one deep penetrating thrust.

When he pulled back, you shared similar grins before meeting in the middle for several enamoring kisses. Moving his hands up to your breasts, Harrison trusted the grip of your legs around his lower back before he started thrusting his hips back and forth. Almost instantly drool ebbed down your combined lips, as you mewled haphazardly into his warm mouth.

The blonde man squished and squeezed both of your breasts, rolling your nubs in tune to his movements as he buried his cock deep within your walls, purposefully made it a mission to mess up your insides. It wouldn't take much, since he was already rocking your world more than any man had before and you had no problem moaning it to him.

“Oh, Haz! Y-You're m-making me so dizzy–!” you cried out, throwing your head back at the hot and intense sensation you were feeling.

“You love it for sure– s-shit, you're squeezing me so fucking good...!” Harrison growled, attacking the left side of your neck as he shifted both of his hands to the bottom of your ass, then began to roughly push and pull you to meet with every sway of his hips. The raunchy and addictive aroma of sex filled the air as you moaned and screamed his name, digging your nails into his back, no doubt leaving him some prominent scratches.

After several hot minutes of leaving you an abundance of hard to hide hickeys, the merman pulled back and lifted your legs away from his waist, holding them up to spread wide apart so he could fuck and thrust as deeply into your walls as quickly as he wanted. Drool drizzled down your lips as you pressed both of your hands flatly at his fine toned chest, drowning in the utter euphoria he was giving you.

Your eyes rolled back, pretty whines and whimpers leaving your luscious lips, caressing a hand against his cheek watching his expression soften before he told you to lay back. Once you'd instantly complied Harrison leaned over your body propping up your legs to stay intimately splayed wide apart but he also interlocked both of his hands with yours and held onto you tightly.

You smiled widely against his fine lips as he captured yours, loving the feeling of his long and slender fingers not to mention how incredibly hot and sweaty his entire muscular frame was. This handsome man on top of you was really getting his workout on, and you loved every single bit of the pleasure he was able to give you.

With the lewd swishing of your tongues all over each other, the knot in the pit of your stomach was nearly at its boiling point and with your mouth covered you couldn't tell him. It really didn't matter honestly, you would rather swap saliva anyway as the blonde’s wonderful kisses felt sensational and divine you wouldn't dare give up the flavor of his lips.

Harrison must of felt the same way, as he barely seemed to be breathing during his hot and heavy make out. However he did pull away once he felt the unmistakable throb of your inner walls beginning to convulse against his cock, making him give you the vigor his muscular body could offer a woman like you as he slammed into your core over and over.

As soon as you let out an echoing orgasmic scream, Harrison held your body down and pressed his cock as deep into your pulsating core as possible, making you tremble with the searing hot wave of his arousal filling you up and leaking down your inner thighs, while he pulled away with the most primal grunt of his own desire. Instantly he collapsed down on top of your body, making you groan out how incredibly heavy he was, but your hands still lifted and caressed his back up and down as if trying to soothe him despite how haggard your own pleasured body was feeling.

After several minutes of combined heavy and exhausted panting, Harrison slid to your side where you followed his movement, smiling at him. Lifting you hand you hesitated for a solitary second before pressing it against his astute cheek,caressing his soft cheekbone. His expression seemed relaxed, so you decided to lean closer and give him a small kiss.

Harrison returned your soft peck, sliding one of his arms around your hip and yanking you closer a bit harshly which caused you to make an adorable squeaking noise. The sound of his laughter was alleviating as you pulled away and nestled into his chest, listening to his rhythmic soothing heartbeat.

“Are we even, Mister Merman?” you said with a chuckle.

“It was never about that, silly…” Harrison mumbled while holding you close, finding the smell of your hair softly reminding him the one of the ocean. And the blond man had to admit it was a scent that he found relaxing when on you. “I hate the ocean because I can't control the transformation, as you saw earlier… Being a creature of the sea is a curse, (Y/N).”

A soft frown formed on your face before you placed a tender kiss against the middle of his torso.

“We are opposites then, because I love the ocean so much. Swimming and walking along the beach are very relaxing” you whispered to him, using the tip of your index finger to trace a small circle along his abs, another thing he found soothing.

“That's what I thought at first” Harrison started again, “I grew up in the water but then, I liked being on land so much more that I moved to the city and got the opportunity to have an amazing job. But the sea won't stop calling me... and I can't avoid it. I just want to be free… I want to be human.”

His grip tightened, and it just broke your heart that he felt so trapped.

“I can't cure you, Haz… I-I don't know how to help you but…” you gulped down the fear inside your guts before tilting your head up to admire the handsome features of his face.

“But your fin is so beautiful, shining under the moonlight like diamonds… Please don't resent how enchanting that form is.”

His ocean eyes rose before a tint of enamoring pink dusted his cheeks and he had to look away. Sure people have said he was handsome and all before, but no one has ever said “enchanting” when referring to his true merman form. The feeling Harrison had about you from before came back, the reason he had a hard time avoiding you and getting close.

Turning back to face you his expression was calm and at the same time a little hard to read, but his hand lifted and swayed into the soft messy tresses of your hair before pushing your head forward until your lips softly smooched together for a warm kiss. You enjoyed each other’s flavour for a few seconds then went back to cuddling close together under the sheets.

“I sensed it before” Harrison whispered against your lips, “and I didn't want to admit it but you give me these waves... that are like the ocean. Soft and tranquil, like the morning breeze. But beneath the surface you hide the storm brewing inside, constantly…”

You carefully listened to him, not daring to say a single word as you may know where he was going with that talk.

“Don't do that anymore. I won't let you feel lonely, (Y/N). Ever.”

Tears formed in your eyes. That mixed bag of feelings which composed your person was clearly hard to decipher, even more for someone who didn’t really know you beforehand, but the man in front of you did it. So clearly and astutely it was almost shocking, but you were so grateful it was a man like him.

Lifting both your hands you wrapped them around Harrison’s neck and pecked him softly not just once but twice on the lips, delighted in the teasing little smile adorning his lips before you rested against the pillow in front of him.

“Alright. But I hope… that you will show me your pretty tail fin again, one day” you said, smiling kindly at him.

“Out of all the words, ‘pretty’... really?” Harrison noted, a little blush making its way back on his cheeks with a pout. “At least say ‘enchanting’ again…”

That adorable reaction of his made you giggle, and even if Harrison didn’t dare to say it out loud (yet), that sound ringed beautifully to his ears. Ahe he wanted to preserve it at all costs.

“But if you’re a good girl, I'll show you tomorrow night when no one else is around… and maybe we will do it again in that form?”

“H-Harrison!” you blushed hard in a stutter, not expecting that cheeky remark from the dreamy merman you were sharing your bed with.

As they say, there is a first time for everything...

Oh well.

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[infernwetrust]

Never Enough [Jim Mason x Fem Reader] Pt 1.

Summary: The one where you and Jim have been dating for about a year and a half. And even after a year and a half, he still feels like he’s not enough for you, but of course you know he’s more than enough. 

Warnings: drug use, swearing, mentions of drug use, mentions of drug abuse, teeny bit mentions of domestic violence, mentions of smut, (don’t worry it’s coming)

WC: 2.1k 

A/N: First time writing about Jim. Honestly, he came to me in a dream a few nights ago and I just had to write something. Part 1 of a 2 part series. Thank you for reading! -Juno

Jim had finally convinced you to come to a party hosted by one of his friends. The music was loud and the only thing that lit up the room was a set amount of strobe lights. As you danced next to Medina, you watched your boyfriend closely. It made you warm to see him so happy. Drink in his hand, joint between his lips, he shared laughs with his friends. His hair was a sweaty mess from dancing all evening or engaging in stupid stunts.

He noticed that your eyes were burning into him. He looked up from his cup, his blue eyes meeting yours in a haze and whirlpool of emotions. You could tell sober Jim was far gone, but he was still your Jim. Jim has had sex with you not sober more times than he was sober. Shrooms were his favorite. He liked how sometimes he felt like a feather and sometimes he felt like a brick.

Removing his lips from his cup, he smiled at you, motioning for you to come over, but as you told him, this was his night. You two spent most of the days wrapped up in each other and decided that a few hours not being down each others throats were okay. You shook your head no, biting your lip at him.

"Have fun with your friends." you mouthed causing him to give you a drunken grin.

"You are my friend." he mouthed back, motioning for you to come over again and of course you shook your head no again, turning your attention from him and back onto Medina. It's not that you didn't want to be around him, because trust me, you did. You wanted to walk over there, take a sip of his drink, and press your lips to his. You wanted to jump into his arms and carry you away, but, you meant what you said.

"He can't get enough of you, can he?" she asked, running her hands through her hair.

"I would hope not." you replied. "But it's also good to give the boy some space. We haven't had any time apart really and I know he's been wanting to hang out with his friends."

"Well, I'm getting pretty tired of being inside. Beach house, beach party. Did you remember to bring your surf board?"

"I did! It's in Jim's car and he has the keys.. which means I would have to go ask him for the keys."

"And you know that comes with 21 questions."

"Orrrrrrr, you could go ask him."

"Where's the fun in that?"

"It's not gonna be fun when I get trapped with Jim."

"As if you don't want to. I know you've been staring at him all night."

"Will you please just go get them? Pretty please." Medina giggled knowing that she was just messing with you. She made her way off to Jim, engulfing her brother into a hug before engaging in conversation. After what about 5 minutes but seemed like 30 due to your own mild intoxication, you assumed she asked for his keys because he darted his eyes back and forth between Medina and you. He took his keys out his pocket, placing them in her hands before running his hands messily in her hair and sending her on her way.

"Okay, come on." she said, grabbing your hand. "Let's go get that surf board and change into our suits." Changing, you and Medina stood on the beach, staring at the ocean as the sun set.

"I'm glad I met you." you say to her. "And I'm glad you introduced me to Jim. Surfing was never something I thought I would be doing, but look at me now."

"Do you always have to make me cry, Y/N?" she asked. "We love you, so much. I'm glad I met you too and that you haven't turned your back on Jim and I. Especially, Jim. He's so fragile nowadays, especially with, you know. I don't like to bring it up at all. You convinced Jim to stop abusing those pills, something I've been trying to do for a while. You saved his life, Y/N."

But all of that came with its consequences. In the beginning of your relationship with Jim, the two of you fought constantly. Argue, fuck, and then makeup. And that's all it was for about 2 months into your year and a half relationship. If you were fighting Jim about his pills or trying to throw them away, he was fighting you about another boy that talked to you that day. No matter how many times you tried to reassure Jim that you weren't going anywhere, for the first 2 months of your relationship, he didn't believe you. And of course, that crushed you, but it wasn't enough to make you leave him.

Jim has only ever gotten physical with you once. High off of whatever he did that day, he shoved you a little too hard, causing you to hit your head on the side of the door frame a little too hard. You saw stars before you blacked out and from that day on he never touched you in a way that wasn't caring. Of course you forgave him. When Jim wasn't acting crazy, he was the sweetest boy in the world. Beach campfires, dinners, shopping sprees, Jim showed you nothing but love, because you did the same for him. In reality, you and Medina are all he has.

But Jim doesn't know how much he's helped you either. He was your first. Your first love too. You love him. You are in love with him and he knows that. Because he feels the same about you. Yes, you've dated other guys, but they were no where close as worthy as Jim was to having you. He rushed nothing. You didn't want to be touched right now? He was okay with that. You wanted to make out all night and not go any further? He was okay with that. You wanted to dry hump him just enough for the itch even though you weren't ready? He was okay with that.

4 months. You made Jim wait 4 months for you and when you finally told him you wanted to go all the way, a fire ignited in him. He took care of you. He made it all about you. He made sure you came first and more than once. You still remember his sweet voice asking if this and that is okay or if he was hurting you, but all you kept telling him was that you need to feel him and that you need to feel him now. And once the pain turned into pleasure, you got lost in him. For the next week, all you wanted was Jim inside of you. He was covered, back, chest, arms, and ass, in scratches that stung like hell to touch. He would laugh as you apologized for it, kissing on them, cleaning them up so they wouldn't get infected, but he loved that you loved to mark him up. The two of you caused a great concern, being covered in hickeys. Your parents thought he was abusing you and Medina thought that he was on the streets fighting, but the both of you know why. Jim, he was, he was made for you.

"Medina." you said, snapping yourself out of your own thoughts.

"Hmmm?" she questioned as the two of you continued to stare off into the water.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Everything. Now let's go hit these waves." The evening, well into the night was spent with you and Medina laughing as you toppled over on your surf board a few times. You played in the sand, drawing random things, even playing tic tac toe. As soon as the two of you dried off and decided that you wanted to get back in the water again, just to swim, you felt a strong pair of hands around you. Whoever grabbed you smelt heavily of beer and weed. You were about to freak out when you saw the pair of hands that were wrapped around your body. Jim.

"Heyyyy." he slurred in your ear, wobbling as he struggled to hold himself up. "You two enjoying the ocean without me?" You turned around to meet him, he was so sweaty, not just his hair, but his whole body. His eyes were super red and bloodshot.

"Jim." you said. "Are you okay? You're burning up. Let's get you out of these clothes. Medina you can go ahead and get back in the water, I'll be out there with you in a minute."

"I'm fucking thriving, baby." Jim answered you, almost falling back into the sand, but you grabbed his shirt to hold him up.

"How many have you had and what did you have?"

"Shit, I don't fucking know. Maybe like 9. I smoked a little green. Just kidding, I smoked a lot of green and I took a shroom, baby, I am on cloud nine right now. They tried to get me to take a pill, but I said, no no no, Y/N wouldn't like that." He started to giggle.

"Jim you look like you're about to expire."

"Expire from happiness!" You sighed, getting Jim to sit down in the sand. You took his jacket off, followed by his shirt, moving his hair out his face so it wouldn't get into his eyes. You fought for a little bit to get his pants off, but he did let you take them off of him.

"Come on." you said, struggling to pick him back up. "Let's sit a little closer to the water, cool you down."

"Mhmmmmk." was all he said as stumbled getting up, falling back down hard into the sand. "Mmmph, shit. I'm okay. I'm okay."

"Is he gonna be okay?!" Medina shouted to ask you from the water.

"Yeah!" you responded. "He's just fucking out of it!"

"Hey, don't you talk about me." he slurred, finally getting back up on his own two feet. "I'm doing just fine." You wrapped your arm around his waist and the both of you, mostly because of him, stumbled closer to the water, sitting on the beginning of the sand bar. "You are so fucking pretty, has anyone told you that? Well no one besides me should be telling you that anyways."

"You do, all the time, baby." you replied, giving him a warm smile. As the waves came on shore and went, you made sure that Jim got wet to cool his body down. You got water in your hands to put on his hair, making sure none of it got in his eyes, because it is ocean water after all. And all while you were doing this, he was sitting there thinking how he didn't deserve you. He was sitting next to you, a drunken and high mess in the sand, wondering how he got so lucky.

"Why do you do this for me?" he asked, swaying a little bit.  

"Because I love you, Jim. No matter what. We all still have some demons to fight and we're going to fight them together."

"I'm so tired of fighting my demons." You could hear that he wanted to start crying. "I'm so fucked up. I feel like I'm never enough for you. You deserve so much more than what I give you."

"Jim do you remember what we said to each other the first time you ever spent the night at my house?" Well he probably doesn't because he's too intoxicated. You questioned yourself as to why you even asked, but then he gave you answer.

"If it ever gets too much, or you want out, or you feel like you can't do this anymore, the first sign, so we don't hurt each other, say something."

"And I haven't said anything and I don't plan on saying anything. Jim you are more than enough for me. Behind your hard exterior, is a caring guy and that's who I fell in love with." He sighed, slowly laying back into the sand, not caring how many times the water brushed up against him. You did the same, turning your head to meet his gaze. You ran your hand across his cheek, running your thumb over his perfectly shaped jaw. You could tell his was trying to calm down, trying to ride his intoxication, rather than letting it ride him. His breathing slowed from being erratic to almost normal. He grabbed onto your hand, giving it a gentle kiss before placing it on his chest.

"I love you so much, Y/N. And I know I'm a little fucked right now, but I mean that. Sober or not sober." he slurred. "I m-m-m" He hiccuped.

"Ssssh." You put your finger to his lips, just wanting him to focus on calming himself down. "Relax, baby. Close your eyes if you need to. I know and I'm right here with you."

I'll always be right here with you.

Taglist: @jimmason @angelicmichael @whatcodysaid

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Leave No One Behind

Ch 12- Win Some, Lose Some

Part 2

Co written with @icanfeelastormbrewing​

Summary: After 2 years of being at the resort Ari and the other agents are gearing up for yet another mission, but there’s a little bit of trouble in paradise for him and Hannah…

Warnings: Bad Language words. Smut (NSFW, 18+ only)

Pairings: Ari Levinson x OFC Hannah Horowitz

Part 1 

Ari woke the next morning and instantly realised something was missing. Simon’s ass from his face. With a stretch he cracked his neck slightly and opened one eye to find that Hannah was also gone. With a little yawn he sat up, rubbing his eyes before he swung his legs off the side of the bed and stood up, heading to the small bathroom. Once finished, he located a pair of swim shorts form the chest of drawers at the side of the hut and pulling them on he made his way outside.

Hannah wasn’t far away. In fact, she was stood straight in front of the hut at the water’s edge as Simon stood by her side, the pair of them simply looking out over the ocean which was alive with the rich, warm pinks and oranges of the rising sun. She was dressed in Ari’s shirt from the night before, her hair in a tangle of curls as it fell down her back, and there was something so raw and intimate about the moment it made Ari’s breath catch. Slipping back into the hut he located Hannah’s polaroid camera and quickly made his way back outside. He took a quick snap, and returned back inside, placing it back down along with the photo to develop before he strode back out of the door and down to the water’s edge.

Of course Simon heard him coming and turned, eliciting a little bark as he trotted towards him. He leaned down to give his dog an ear scratch before he smiled at Hannah who had turned her head over her shoulder to face him. She responded with a smile of her own, looking back at the ocean as he wrapped his arms around her from behind dropping a gentle kiss to her neck.

“You’re up early.” He said as her hands gently came to rest on his strong arms as they pulled her back into him, the fabric of the shirt she was wearing brushing against his bare chest.

“Couldn’t sleep.” She shrugged.

Ari’s nose nuzzled against the skin below her ear and he pressed another soft kiss to her jaw line “You still feeling a little down?”

Hannah took a deep breath and shrugged as her nails raked over his arms.

“You know, if it’s too much…you could go back.” He suggested and felt her still.

“As in, for good?”

“Yeah.” Ari shrugged, “Like I said, I don’t think we have an awful lot of time left…”

“I’m not quitting” Hannah said simply, turning in his arms. “I came to do a job, and I’m gonna see it through.”

“I knew you’d say that” he chuckled and Hannah watched her hands as they smoothed up over his pecs to his shoulders before she met his eyes.

“Why ask me then?” she arched an eyebrow as she looked at him, his hands flexing on her hips.

“Because I love you and I don’t wanna see you sad or unhappy because of me ever again.”

“This isn’t because of you.” Hannah shook her head “You egotistical ass.”

“Harsh!” Ari cocked an eyebrow as she grinned as he huffed out a laugh, “But I mean it Han. I don’t want you feeling like you have to stay.”

“I don’t” she shrugged “Honestly, don’t worry about me. It’ll pass Ari, I promise.”

She pressed her lips to his in a soft kiss before she glanced over to their left and nodded as two people passed them on the beach. “Guests are stirring, I should go shower and get ready for breakfast.”

“Ok.” He nodded and she looked up at him, biting her lip.

“Wanna come scrub my back?”

“You know…” Ari’s hands locked at the base of her back “The amount of times you ask me to do that, you should really invest in a loofah.”

“Yeah but, where’s the fun in that?” she grinned “Besides, why have a wolf and howl yourself?”

Ari gave a snort as she grinned again, stepping out of his hold, slipping her hand into his before she tugged him along with her over the sand towards their hut, Simon trotting behind them. 

****

One of the best traditions the team had come up with since they had started running a now not-so-fake hotel was the party they always held the night before a group of tourists were due to leave. It was the perfect excuse to let loose and celebrate together with another group of satisfied guests, albeit not the ones that were counted on the board. There was always a great bonfire, drinks and good music all accompanied by lots of laughter and wishes of a safe trip back home. 

That night was to be no exception to the rule and as Ari and Max were putting the final touch to the makeshift dance floor and checking the sound system, which had been upgraded since the first time they threw that kind of farewell party, Jake and Hannah were in charge of starting the bonfire under the watchful eye of Sammy. Rachel was looking after them all and ensuring they had a steady supply of beer before she settled down on Sammy’s lap. Simon stood a little away from the group, minding his own business which was chasing and trying to bite his own tail.

They were all discussing the choice of music for the night, as Ethan had sent them some new records with the latest shipment, and Max picked one out to check the sound system was up and running. As the upbeat sounds of Rio by Duran Duran rang across the beach the conversation had taken a rather odd turn, shifting to the discussion about who was the best front man- Simon Le Bon vs John Taylor.

"I used to have hair like John Taylor..." Jake piped up, taking a swig of his beer.

"So did Sammy." Hannah snorted, the look on her brother's face made her burst out with laughter as besides her Ari chuckled, his arm draped over her shoulders.

Sammy groaned. "Yeah, laugh all you want but we don't need to discuss that."

"And the stash?" she pressed, making Jake laugh out loud and Rachel chuckle. “Can we discuss that?”

Sammy glared at Jake and then at his sister. "Shut up, Han."

But, despite Sammy's deadly stares, Hannah continued her tirade. "You should have seen him. It was pretty...”

"Cool?" Jake cut her off.

"Disturbing." she blurted out with a grin.

"You two can kiss my ass." Sammy snapped at them, the pair of them dying with laughter by then, before he patted Rachel's hip and stood up to go and get changed.

A few hours later the party was in full swing, and the alcohol was flowing. Hannah who was visibly drunk by then had disappeared for some time and had returned with her polaroid and was busy annoying the boys with it. 

“Pose for me guys…you’re so pretty.” She grinned, before she looked at her brother “Well, apart from you Sammy."

"Fucking fuck you Han." Sammy protested as he staggered, almost falling over.

Rachel started howling just as Ari chuckled and hiccuped. "You can’t, don’t talk to her like that man." he said, shoving Sammy a little, spilling some of his beer in the process. "Oops." he hiccuped again.

"She’s a dick." Sammy snarled.

"Yeah but man…just no." Ari managed to say, his tongue feeling thick and not quite cooperating.

"Lobo stop mooooving. I’m tryina take a photo." Hannah whined, looking at them. "Sammy can you just... like not be here. In the picture I mean." she said as she shifted her weight on the sand trying to not lose balance.

"Red if you make us stand here any longer my clothes are gonna go outta fashion." Jake complained as he let his head fall, his arms over Max and Ari's shoulders.

"Your clothes were outta fashion when my papa was alive, Jake." Hannah quipped, fast as lighting

"Bitch!" Jake groaned.

“Hey, don’t call my girl names, asshole." Ari teased, yanking Jake's arm off his shoulder and turning to shove him which ended in both men faking a heated fight on the sand. "For fuck sake Hannah." Sammy yelled, stepping away from Jake and Ari's mock fight. "Take the camera back inside. You’re drunk."

"So are you." she said, sticking her tongue out at her brother.

"Yeah but I ain’t holding a camera, it’ll end up full of sand or broken."

She paused and looked at him as his words sunk in, and then she shrugged “Yes Dad” and started walking towards her and Ari's hut, stumbling on the sand, drunk as she was. Only she stumbled a little more heavy than she was anticipating and unable to steady herself she was fully expecting to face plant into the sand, until a hand gently grabbed her arm to stop her from falling.  

"Thanks." she whispered honestly as she looked up to see one of the younger guests from the group that had been diving with Jake the day before smiling at her.

“You’re welcome.” He spoke, but not loosening his grip, instead he kept his gaze locked on her, grin spreading across his face.

Max, who had been watching the guy with curiosity, nudged Ari and nodded his head towards the scene.

"What the fuck is that bastard doing?" Ari yelled, a big frown on his sweaty forehead as he released Jake from the headlock he’d had him in.

"Touching up Cracker...I think..." Max shrugged.

"Quit stirring Max " Jake spoke, brushing the sand off his shirt. "She tripped and he stopped her falling bud, that's it."

Ari groaned and took a sip from his beer, eyes still watching. Eventually he saw Hannah step back and laugh before heading up towards their hut. But he didn't miss the way the dark haired man’s eyes followed her, or the way his pals all nudged him and gestured in Hannah’s direction, all of them grinning.

"I’m watching you, you German bastard." Ari mumbled but loud enough for Sammy to hear.

"I told you. It’s always Germans." Sammy said before hiccuping.

"Fuck off. My parents are German." Rachel shoved Sammy.

"Yeah Sammy, the in laws won’t like you talking like that." Max scoffed and Ari snorted as Sammy's eyes opened wide with realisation.

"Sorry babe." Sammy apologized and then glared at Ari. Having heard his snort "Yeah, like my mother likes you, asshole."

“You know your mother loves me, jerk. So much so I went round for dinner last time I was home and she made meatloaf."

"What? Why did you…" Sammy stuttered and Ari grinned at him. "Fuck…"

"No, that’s Ethan’s job." Ari quipped, making everyone but Sammy burst out with laughter.

"You’re sick, you know that? That’s disgusting." Sammy glared at him.

"Everything is disgusting according to you." Jake stated, with a shrug.

"To be fair the thought of my mom banging my boss...." Max said, shuddering at the thought.

"Shut up Irving!" 

"He’s very charming with all those elegant outfits." Rachel conceded.

"Yeah well he can go and charm someone else." Sammy glared at her.

"Don’t you mean some-mum else?" Jake snorted, making Sammy groan as they all sniggered. 

"But Rachel has a point. None of you have seen his silk robe." Ari spoke and Max was fast in following suit. "Mama N has."  He grinned at Ari who grimaced, readying himself for Sammy's final outburst.

"Will you all shut the fuck up?" he growled.

"Ok, ok sorry Sammy." Ari tried to calm him down as he shook his head

"What’s up? Are you angry again Sammy bear?" Hannah, who had just come back, asked noticing her brother's angry face. And she felt Ari's arm curl possessively round her waist, pulling her to him as he chuckled at Sammy's roll of eyes at her sister's pet name for him.

"Sammy doesn’t like Ethan banging your mother, Red." Jake explained, crooking a smile at Sammy.

Hannah wrinkled her nose at the mention of Ethan being her mother's partner. "Well... whatever" she started and then shrugged "Come on guys, let’s dance. I wanna dance." she suddenly changed topic as she grabbed Rachel's hand pulling her towards the “dance floor”.

"Bye then." Max raised his beer to the retreating girls.

"Yeah I’m gonna go dance too." Jake announced, and Ari saw his eyes flicker over a pretty blonde woman who was stood with a group of her friends.

"By dance you mean grind against some clueless tourist?" Max jabbed at Jake who flipped a finger at him as he left.

"They won't be clueless for long." Ari snorted. Half an hour later, after some dancing and more drinking, Ari noticed Hannah and Rachel were surrounded by the German Tourists who had all been watching Hannah. Ari was observing from a distance, the jealousy building slowly but surely, and when at one point he saw one of them wrap an arm round Hannah's shoulder and dip his head unabashedly towards her face he snapped.

"Fucker" he snarled as he started striding over but was stopped by someone grabbing his shoulder. He turned round only to see Sammy was the one holding him back.

"Don't cause a scene man. Han's got it, look." Sammy nodded his head in the girls' direction causing Ari to turn to look in time to see Hannah pulling away, her hands planted on the guy’s chest, shaking her head firmly.

"Yeah, back off asshole…" Ari hissed. "Wait. Is she smiling at him? Why is she smiling at him?" he asked Sammy, his eyes never leaving the scene though.

"She's just being polite." Max said in an attempt to downplay the issue.

"Sure." Ari snorted as he watched Hannah still smiling, her hands still on the guy’s shoulders. "Whatever. I’m ending this now." and he motioned to start towards the guy again. Sammy groaned and called at him to stop, but this time it was Max who physically did it.

"Look chill. There’s nothing going on there and like Sammy said, you’ll cause a scene. Besides Jake is close by."

But Ari was pissed and he was equally drunk, his alcohol fuelled brain wasn't working logically as all he could see was Hannah smiling at that guy that was far too close to her. As he stood watching, his jaw twitching, fists balling at his side, eventually the guy stepped back and held his hands up, turning to leave the girls alone.

Hannah watched the guy as he went, shaking her head at his complete and utter forward nature,  and then spotted Ari. His handsome features which were usually soft when he looked at her were hardened and his gentle blue eyes blazed with rage she hadn’t seen in a long time. She frowned at the outward display of anger and she excused herself from Rachel and Jake and headed over.

"I’m gonna grab a snack." Max was the first to split, as soon as he noticed Hannah approaching.

"Good idea." Sammy agreed and they hastily headed off. 

Hannah watched them for a moment as they left and then turned to Ari, whose jaw was twitching. "What’s wrong Lobo?"

"You tell me Firefly." he replied and she frowned at his flat tone.

"I don't know that's why I asked." she said softly, not wanting to fuel whatever was bothering him.

He scoffed. "You can’t be that oblivious."

Hannah stared at him and frowned again. "Are you talking about that guy just then?"

"Oh, so you do know what I’m talking about then."

She groaned, his jealous nature which was cute at times was at others fucking annoying.  "Ari, he made a pass at me, I told him no. I'm not sure what else there is to say."  

She frowned, feeling slightly puzzled not least because she had done nothing wrong but if Ari really believed what he had seen, then he surely would have been straight in there. He had done it before…

"Why you think he made that move?" Ari asked shrugging slightly at Hannah’s shocked expression.

"You think…” Hannah trailed off, her puzzled expression sliding into one of anger as she realised what Ari was implying and she narrowed her eyes. “You know what? Fuck this." she snarled and turned to leave.

"Firefly!" he growled. "Where do you think you’re going? Come back here! Hannah!"

Hannah stopped and turned to face him, gathering all the self-control she had in her not to slap him straight across his face for yelling at her. "To bed Ari. But for the record the only reason I'm not screaming at you right now is because of all these guests. You're being a fucking asshole, Levinson."

 "No, I’m not." he hissed. "You’re being a brat Hannah."

"I’m being a brat?" she let out a sarcastic, hearty laugh. "Fuck you." she spat at him and with that she stormed off in their hut direction.

Ari stood frozen watching her leave for a moment and when the realization of what had just happened washed over him he kicked the sand. "Fuck!" and he paused for a few seconds, considering his options, before he went after her. He could tell she was aware he was just behind her as she sped up till she finally reached the hut and went to slam the door but Ari got his foot in the way.

"Nice try Firefly."

"Fuck you Ari." she spat those words at him again.

Simon looked up from where he had been dozing on the bed, his head cocking to the side at the raised voices.

"Hey! I’m the one who has the right to be pissed." 

"No, no you don’t Ari!"

"Ok, now, you listen to me…" Ari said sternly as he brushed his hair off his face.

“I don't wanna listen. I'm done." she bit back.

"Fine, whatever." he said as he took off his shirt and went into the bathroom. He usually let her go first but not that night, he was making his point and was determined to stand for it, whatever it took or so he thought as he looked at his reflection in the mirror, his hands gripping the basin so hard his knuckles were now white. He sighed and tried to steady his breathing before sorting himself out and emerging into the room again.

 "Can I go in now?" Hannah asked sarcastically, standing up from where she was sat on the bed.

"All yours." he replied, equally as sarcastic.  

She stalked past him, staring straight ahead, before she shut the door behind her. Once alone in the room she  sat on the toilet, her head in her hands as she started sobbing, all the rage she was feeling seeping from her eyes. That was not how that night was supposed to go, but she had no fucking idea what or why he thought she’d encouraged anything. And the hypocrite was talking just the previous day about keeping the guests satisfied after she’d teased him about flirting. Did he really not trust her that much? She was well aware they were both drunk, so that was probably worse than it should be but still…it hurt.  She felt the tears sting her eyes and wiped them away as he breathed in deeply before standing to wash her face and clean her teeth.  

When she came back into the bedroom Ari was led on his back, looking up at the ceiling. She made an effort to ignore him and grabbed a vest and a pair of shorts, changed and got into bed, turning so her back was to him before clicking off the small lamp at her side of the bed.

Ari turned his head to look at her, letting out a sigh. He hesitated for a moment but he then shuffled and turned towards her back and was about to stretch his arm out for her when she spoke.

"Don’t you dare touch me, Ari."

He grit his teeth at her hoarse voice. He could tell she had been crying but at that point in time he was pissed off. He tried to come up with an equally hurtful comment to show his annoyance but all he managed to say was “Good night firefly."

As no response came on Hannah's part, with an angry groan and a roll of his eyes he turned back the other way and for the first time since they started sharing a bed 2 years ago, they didn’t fall asleep wrapped up in each other’s arms.

And the space between them felt like miles.

******

The next morning Ari woke up to Simon, as always, led on his face. Pushing him off, the dog giving the usual low grumble of protest, Ari grimaced a little at the movement, his limbs feeling heavy.  The room was quiet, but he could hear Hannah in the bathroom. With a groan he dropped his arm over his eyes in an attempt to keep the light from painfully flooding his system. His head was pounding and the inside of his mouth felt like he had been eating the sand from the beach.

He cast his mind back over the events of the night and he could remember drinking, fooling around and then everything going to shit. He really didn’t want to think about it, but his stubborn brain led him to replay it over and over again. The more he thought about it, the more he knew he had been an ass, but that bastard making a move to kiss his girl had sent him into overdrive. Fortunately the current set of tourists were leaving that morning and once they were gone Ari could concentrate on damage control with Hannah.

At that point the door to bathroom opened and he moved his arm away from his eyes to see Hannah stepping back into the room, already dressed in a pair of red shorts and a loose fitting white t-shirt that slouched off her right shoulder giving him a flash of her blue bikini strap. Ignoring the fact that the room was spinning, Ari sat up slightly in bed to look at her for a moment before he tentatively spoke.

“You woke up early Firefly” his voice was a little croaky, fuck he needed water.  

“Couldn’t sleep” came the clipped response.

“Han…” he sighed, but she clearly wasn’t in the mood to speak to him.

“I think I’m gonna go for a walk on the beach.” She replied, her tone flat. Ari started to protest but she completely ignored him. “I need to get out of here. I’m suffocating”

“Hannah.” He tried again, and this time she took a deep, annoyed voice and snapped her head round to look at him.

“What?” she demanded.

He knew that speaking to her whilst she was still angry at him would merely result in them arguing even more so he sighed, shaking his head. “Nothing.”

“Whatever.” She rolled her eyes and walked towards the door. As she wrenched it violently open, Simon bounced off the bed and trotted after her as she left, slamming it behind her causing Ari to wince at the noise.

He lay back with a groan, cursing himself. Hannah was really pissed, and now his mind began to wander furiously. He had to make this right, he couldn’t risk losing her. Not again.

“For fucks sake Levinson, get a grip” he chastised himself. This was an argument, a stupid, ridiculous argument that’s all. Worrying about losing her was a little extreme. Wasn’t it?

He lay there, his mind arguing with itself for a few minutes before the sound of voices drifted through the lattice screens which covered the window to their hut. Knowing that he really should get up to see the guests off he kicked off the blankets and swung his legs off the side of the bed before he headed into the bathroom. After a quick shower he pulled on a clean pair of swim shorts and a light and pink hooped t-shirt before he shoved on his socks and hiking boots and headed out.

Breakfast was a quiet affair. Everyone was visibly hungover, plus the tension between Ari and Hannah was festering in the air casting a shadow over the usual well natured meal. There was no gentle touching, no longing looks, no grins, no giggles. The atmosphere was sour, and impossible to ignore.

“You ok, Han?” Sammy looked at his sister as she was picking at a croissant, not really eating much of it.

“Fine Sam.” Her response was short but not angry. Sammy frowned and looked at Ari who was drinking his coffee, deliberately avoiding anyone’s gaze.

Rachel and Jake exchanged glances as Max studied Hannah for a moment. Suddenly conscious everyone’s attention was her she pushed her plate away from her and stood up.

“Excuse me, I need to feed Simon.”

She moved away from the table, Ari following her with his eyes, his head bowing slightly once she was out of sight.

“Something wrong with Cracker?” Max asked.

“Leave it.” Sammy instructed, his eyes flicking to Ari’s before his best friend turned away. He then glanced at Rachel who gave a small sigh and stood up, ready to go and find her but Ari stopped her as he drained his coffee and issued an instruction.

“Make sure everyone is checked out, the bus will be leaving in 30.”

Rachel looked at him, blinking but she didn’t argue “Sure.”

With that he stood up and wandered outside, lighting up a cigarette. As he took a drag he leaned on the wall and out came the group of tourists that had been dancing with the girls the night before. He nodded his head to greet them, a little stiffly, offering no trace of a smile. His eyes watched the asshole that had made the move on his Firefly as he nudged one of the guys on his left, laughing as one by one they settled on the sun-loungers, a few meters away, suitcases by their side ready to depart.

Ari tuned his attention to the ocean, watching the early morning sun bouncing off the surface, and he was trying not to listen, he really was, but he just couldn’t help it when one of the guys, clear as day, asked the asshole if he had said goodbye properly to the Spanish hotty. Ari stiffened, and found himself suddenly undecided as to whether he was happy he could understand German or not.

“I wish.” The asshole laughed in his home language “She seems to have disappeared into thin air. I’m so pissed I only got to speak to her on the last day.”

“You’ve been eyeing her up since we arrived man!” one of the other guys shot back “Pity she turned you down.”

Another snorted “Yeah man, flat out no!”

Sniggers arose from the group and then one of them looked up, Ari hastily averting his gaze, but he clearly wasn’t quick enough.

“Keep it down, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen her with the owner”

Asshole shrugged “He’s American, not German, can’t understand us!”

Ari fought to keep his face straight. Dick.

“You know, you’re worse than that dog that wanders around!” the guy that had told them to shut up shook his head “You cannot keep it in your pants anywhere!” “Can’t help it. But come on, guys! You seen her?”

“Yes, yes we have. She cute.”

Asshole sighed “Pity we’re leaving, reckon I could have worn her down, got her on her back with a little more time.”

Ari felt his jaw clench, he’d heard enough. With a cough he cleared his throat and then felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned to see Rachel looking at him.

“All set.”

He nodded and turned back to the group of boys “Bus is ready if you want to climb up.”

They all turned to look at him and the one sat nearest on the edge of a lounger nodded. “Sure man.”

Ari watched them all gather their luggage and make their way back into the hotel. He nodded as they all walked past him, Asshole taking up the rear, and as he went to pass, Ari placed his arm over the doorway, hand curling round the edge of the frame, blocking his way.

“Hey…” Asshole began to protest but Ari fixed him with an icy glare.

“Next time you wanna talk about getting my girl on her back, maybe check I can’t actually understand you…and for the record, if you weren’t leaving today you’d be shark bait.” He hissed in German, before he moved his arm as Asshole swallowed, his eyes wide with shock and horror. Ari smiled and then spoke to him in English “Have a safe trip home, dick.”

The guy scurried away as fast as he could, Ari’s eyes burning a hole in his back as he left. Once he was out of sight the anger Ari was feeling gave way to guilt as he had basically accused Hannah of leading the asshole on, even though he knew that wasn’t the case. Hannah wouldn’t dream of doing something like that. Sometimes she could be a little flirty but then so could he, it was just who they were, and to accuse her the way he had done was ridiculous. But then again he had been drunk, and even when sober he was a total mess when it came to his girl, and now she was giving him the cold shoulder.

He had to fix this.

Taking a deep breath he headed inside to look for Hannah and found her in the office with Rachel. Immediately he spotted her red puffy eyes and the concern on Rachel’s face and that made him feel like complete shit.

“Rachel, can you give us a minute?” he asked softly. Rachel looked to him before she shrugged.

“Sure”

She turned and left the office, not before giving him a filthy look and once she was gone Hannah looked at him.

“What do you want Ari?” She sniffed and Ari took a deep breath

“Sweetheart, I'm sorry”

“Sorry for what exactly?” she tipped her chin up to look at him, and Ari should have known she wasn’t going to let him off with a mere, simple and overarching apology.

“Last night. I was out of order” “Talk about an understatement! You basically called me a slut.”

“No, Hannah.” Ari began to protest “That’s not what I said.”

“Not with those exact words maybe, but you implied it Ari.”

“It’s not what I meant.” He repeated his sentiment, “Look, I’m so sorry Han. I don’t know what got into me”

“You know…” Hannah shook her head “I knew you had this jealous streak in you but..”  she took a deep breath and licked her lips .”I think I need some space”

At that she made to pass him in the doorway but Ari gently grabbed her arm. “Han, wait.”

“Let me go Ari”

Ari glanced down at his hand and released her arm “Hannah.”

“I just need to be alone.” She swallowed “Please.”

At that Ari gave a small nod and stepped to the side allowing her to leave. With a groan he ran both hand through his hair before his right fist slammed down on the desk in a fit of rage.

“Fuck!” he yelled out, his voice and the thud of his hand punching the desk echoed around the room and he ran his hand down his beard. He was really worried now that he’d completely screwed everything. Today was fast shaping up to be a complete shit storm and it wasn’t even midday yet. For a second he considered heading after her but he knew he needed to respect her request for space, so instead he headed into the bar area, grabbed a bottle of bourbon, necked a shot or 3 to sort his headache out and turned on his heels and left.

****

Later that afternoon Hannah was heading to her hut when Rachel stopped her and said that she needed Ari’s passport for some paperwork which Colonel Madibo requested when he had stopped by on his Annual Visit a month or so prior. Rachel had failed to find Ari so had instead asked Hannah if she could find it in his absence.

As usual when she needed something, Rachel couldn’t wait, so Hannah shrugged and headed back to the hut to see if she could find it and decided to try his backpack first off. As she dug around her hands curled around a leather book. Curiosity piqued she removed it to see it was a note book of sorts and she flicked open the first page, finding it simply to be a log book, written mostly in code but she recognised it as being a short hand that most agents were trained in. It appeared to be accounts of the missions they’d run but as she closed it, she noticed that there were a few photos tucked into the back cover. She gently pulled them out and smiled as she saw the first one was of Ari and Maya when Maya was a toddler. Ari’s hair and beard both much shorter. The next one was a Polaroid of the team at the front of the hotel, then there was one of her and Simon which she had never seen before, but that had been taken yesterday morning from the looks of things, and then one of her, Ari and Sammy which was of her graduation. She frowned a little, unsure why Ari kept this with him considering it was from so long ago at a time when they hadn’t even been together. She turned it over, as if expecting to find the explanation there but she didn’t find anything but Ari’s haphazard scrawl in the bottom right hand corner- “Firefly’s Graduation”

A wave of nostalgia washed over her as she thought back to that day, the gift Ari had bought her, and that being the time she realised she was hopelessly in love with him. She swallowed, before tucking the photos back where she found them. After a little more digging in the backpack she found his passport and headed back to the main hotel and into the office. She held it out to Rachel who smiled, the grin immediately slipping as she caught sight of Hannah’s face.

“You ok?”

“Yeah…have you seen Ari?”

“Not since before no.”  Rachel took the passport she was holding out from Hannah “you know I’m sure he-“

“Yeah, I know.” Hannah shook her head, not wanting to talk about it anymore “Listen, Rachel, I don’t want dinner. I’m tired so I’ll grab something later if I’m hungry.”

“Ok, sure.”

She gave Rachel another smile before she made her way back out to the beach. She stood, hands on her hips as she contemplated going to find Ari to talk but before she could she heard Max yelling at her to take care of Simon who was chewing some of the equipment he and Jake were trying to store. With a groan she went to retrieve the pain-in-the-ass dog, took him back to the hut where she led on the bed and closed her eyes, completely drained.

When she woke a few hours later it was dark. The hut was completely silent apart from Simon’s soft snores and Ari was nowhere to be seen. Standing up she grabbed a warmer top as it had gone a little chilly outside and leaving Simon snoozing on her bed she wandered out onto the dimly lit beach to find him. The resort empty, not a soul to be seen, and it was completely dark apart from the light which was pooling out of the door which led to the main reception area. She made her way to the door which was open and saw Ari sat straddling the desk, legs dangling either side. They were swinging to and fro slightly, the muscles in his strong thighs straining and stretching as he did so, cigarette in his mouth as he studied the ‘Satisfied Guests’ board on the wall. With a soft sigh he led back against the desk, closing his eyes.  

“Ari?” Hannah spoke softly and he turned his head sharply towards her. He eyed her for a moment, clearly trying to size up her mood and she allowed her face to soften slightly and he gave a slight smile in response.

“Hey firefly.”

“It’s late.” She stepped into the room a little more.

“I know.”

“So what are you doing sat on the desk?”

“Just reviewing our satisfied guest number.” He shrugged “Which is gonna go up tomorrow.”

“Exactly, so you should come to bed, you never sleep the night after a mission so…”

“I was gonna take one of the spare rooms.” Ari admitted and Hannah rolled her eyes.

“Don’t be so dramatic.”

“I’m not being dramatic” he shrugged. “You said you wanted space…”

“I’ve had space all day.”

“I know I just…well, was waiting for you to decide when you’d had enough…”

Hannah took a deep breath, bit her lip and nodded to the board he’d been studying. “Look at the back.” She instructed.

“What?” he frowned at her sudden change of subject.

“I said, look at the back of the board, Ari.”

He gave her another puzzled look before he shuffled over and spun it round, his eyes roaming the 5 digits that had been carved into the back. “3. 19. 80.” He looked at her “That’s you birthday 2 years ago.”

“Yeah.” She nodded, “I wanted that date permanently carving into something other than my brain.”

“I’m not…”

“It was the first time you told me you loved me” she explained softly, and Ari felt his eyes widen “I waited so long to hear you say it.” She took a deep breath “Which is why I can’t understand why you think I’d ever look at anyone else.”

Ari sighed, turning the board back round, as he spun his body to face her, legs dangling off the edge of the desk. “I don’t, Han. I was just being a stupid, jealous prick.”

Hannah took a deep breath, looking at him. His eyes were down cast, his face pinched with regret. She exhaled and shook her head “No more ok? I can’t deal with your stupid fits of pathetic jealousy and possessiveness.”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry.” He shook his head, looking down at his hands. “I just, well, you’re not the only one who waited so long for us. Sometimes I worry that, well you’ll realise that I’m just an asshole after all and that you could do so much better.”

“I already know you’re an asshole.” She shrugged, a smile playing on her lips “But you’re my asshole. And I don’t want to do any better.”

Ari’s eyes locked onto hers and he let out a deep breath, smiling softly before he gave a jerk of his head “C’mere…”

“Ari…”

“Just get up here Firefly”

The roll of her eyes and little groan would have maybe fooled anyone else into thinking she was frustrated, but not Ari. He caught the smile on her face as she walked over towards him and hopped up onto the counter. With a grin, Ari looped both his arms around her waist and clumsily pulled her with him as he fell back, both of them laying chest to chest, his arms round her holding her close. She gave a low chuckle, shaking her head.

“Dumbass.”

“Yeah.” He agreed, reaching up and tucking her hair behind her ears with both his hands. He then cupped her face gently, before he leaned up and gave her a soft kiss.

“I love you.”  He said gently “And I really am sorry.”

“I know.”

“You know that I love you or you know that I’m sorry?”

She hesitated for a second before she smirked and arched an eyebrow “Both”

Ari chuckled and Hannah grinned and lay against Ari’s chest, snuggling into his t-shirt, the top of her head up under his chin. Neither of them said anything for a little while, just lay there basking in one another’s warmth, the argument forgotten until eventually Hannah felt her eyes growing heavy.

“Ari.”

“Yeah”

“Seriously, we need to go to bed.”

“Yeah…” he hummed back, his hands stroking up her neck.

“I mean it.”

“Mmhmmm.”

“Ari!” she said exasperatedly and he gave a low groan.

“Okay, okay…”

With what felt like a Herculean effort Hannah pushed herself up and hopped down from the counter, Ari doing the same, his boot clad feet echoing around the empty room as the soles slapped on the tiles. He stretched his arms, causing his t-shirt to ride up a little at the bottom as he ran both hands through his hair. Silently, he held out his hand and Hannah slipped hers into it, and together they headed out of the door pausing only to turn off the lights and make sure the main doors were locked.

**** The next morning was hectic, for two main reasons. A new batch of guests had arrived and in between that they were doing the preps for the mission later that evening. Rachel and Hannah were busy with the guests whilst Max, Jake and Ari were busy with the equipment. Radios needed to be tested, the trucks needed to be checked over to ensure there would be no mechanical issues and Sammy was busy making sure the medical supplies were stocked and packed.

Once that was gone, Ari took himself off for a run, in an attempt to burn off some of the usual nervous energy he had the day of a mission. He was out for a good hour, and as he rounded the edge of the cove onto the last few hundred yard stretch of beach up to the resort he spotted a few new guests were sat out in the sun reading and chatting. He nodded to them as he rounded up the small path off the main shore line, coming to an abrupt halt as Simon ran up to him from goodness knows where, almost tripping him over.

“Hey bud…” Ari panted a little, removing his headphones and clicking off his walkman “Where’s mom?”

“Here.”

Ari spun round to see Hannah stood there in a pair of shorts and a white tank top, the strings of her bikini visible round her neck, her hair damp.

“Hey sweetheart.” He smiled, and she took a moment to look him up and down, noticing the sweat dripping from his forehead and his damp t-shirt that was sticking to his torso. “Pervert.”

She shrugged and grinned before she spoke again, her cover accent thick on her tongue. “Good run?”

He nodded as he continued his deep breathing looking round “Not as much fun as this morning’s exercise though.” He flashed her a cheeky wink as she chuckled and took the soft kiss he offered. “How’ bout you? Good dive?”

She nodded “Still waiting for that elusive Hammer-Head sighting. You know, I’m beginning to think Irvine made it up.”

With a chuckle Ari gently looped an arm round her, pulling her to him as they headed into the main room of the resort, Hannah shoving against him, protesting at the fact he was basically wiping his sweat all over her but their teasing and joking died down as Rachel immediately accosted them, her German accent flawless as always.

“There you are. I was just talking about you with our new guests.”

Ari looked up to see 3 people in chairs in the reception area, and as the man in front of him stood and turned he saw it was Walton Bowen, the guy from the CIA that he had last seen in Khartoum Airport.

“Mr. Thomas, nice to see you again.”

“Now this is a surprise.” Ari smiled, shaking the hand Bowen offered before his hands dropped to his hips, his breathing still recovering from his run.

“Well, I'm sure it is. You're not an easy man to find. I think I saw you nearly two years ago. You were an anthropologist back then.” Bowen eyed Ari shrewdly taking a drag from his baby cigar.

“Right, well...” Ari smiled again, “Didn't pay the bills.” He offered as means of an explanation for the huge change in career direction.

“Yeah…” Bowen looked at him again, his eyes then flicking to Hannah.

“Sorry, where are my manners.” Ari apologised, “Rosa, this is Mr Walton Bowen. Works for the US Embassy?” he made it a question, even though he knew full well all about Bowen’s actual background having been debriefed back in ‘79 following his arrest.

“Of a fashion” Mr Bowen smiled. “Cultural attaché”

“Right.” Ari nodded “Well, Mr Bowen, this is Rosa Garcia, my partner and head of guest relations.”

“It’s a pleasure.” Hannah smiled, shaking Bowen’s hand.  

“Likewise.” Bowen smiled, releasing her hand.

“And you’ve already met my general manager, Angela.” Ari concluded and both Bowen and Rachel nodded in agreement before she spoke.

“I was just about to give Aziz the dinner order, will you be staying?

Bowen shook his head “That’s very kind but, no thank you. We’ll need to get back.”

“Ok, well in that case can I grab you anything for now?” she asked.

“I could go for something.” Ari looked at her, knowing full well the mission meant he would miss dinner and they usually ate a little earlier. Rachel understood perfectly and gave him a nod, turning to go.

“I’ll help.” Hannah turned to Ari who nodded and dropped a kiss to her temple before she hurried out after Rachel. He turned back to Bowen who was simply looking at him, his eyebrow raised a little.

“She a guest who never left or…”

“It’s a long story.” Ari smiled.

“I’m sure it is Mr Thomas.”

Ari nodded and then gestured towards the dining room, indicating one of the tables. “Shall we?”

Bowen turned to the two people who were with him and with a jerk of his head they moved outside. Ari watched them go before he nodded and the two men made their way over and settled at the large table the team usually ate round. Ari grabbed them both a bottle of water from the fridge at the far side of the room and settled in a chair, his elbow leaning on the back of it, as relaxed as he could make himself. They made small talk until Hannah and Rachel, or Rosa and Angela even, having had Aziz fix some crudités and hummus brought them out and dropped them onto the table before they too moved outside to take some to the two other unannounced guests. As Ari watched Hannah then walked back past them into the kitchen, and he returned his attention to Bowen, trying to appear interested, all the time simply waiting to find out what the man had actually turned up for. “Well... the hawks are demanding stricter Sharia law. Nimeiry is increasingly paranoid.” Bowen spoke, dipping a carrot into the hummus. “If you ask me, this entire country is a fucking tinder box.”

“Really? We don't really feel that out here.”

“No?”

“No.”

At that they both looked up as Hannah walked back into the room with a jug of iced tea and placed it in the middle of the table.

“Thanks honey.” Ari smiled at her as he reached for it “You wanna join us?” He paused and glanced at Bowen who gestured with his hand to say he didn’t mind so he poured 3 glasses and Hannah sat down at the seat next to him. Ari sat back in his chair, his arm casually draping over the high back of hers, her hand dropping to his thigh, fingers curling around the curve of the muscle, gently squeezing. He was tense, she could feel it. She softly rubbed his skin and his hand moved slightly in response, the pads of his fingers began tracing random shapes on the top of her arm.

“State's sent cargo planes for us, ready to evac in the event things take a turn for the worse. Oh. -And this refugee crisis, it's... it's really not helping.” Bowen shook his head as he looked at Ari, then Hanna, who met him with a blank look.

“Refugee crisis?” Hannah frowned.

“Yeah, you have entire refugee neighbourhoods just disappearing.” Bowen gestured with his hands “Into thin air.” “And that’s bad?” Hannah’s voice was puzzled. “Refugees are normally viewed as a burden, I’m not following.”

Clever girl… Ari looked down at the table, scratching his head

“The UN offers a stipend to the Sudanese for every refugee they house, so when people start to disappear that's just...  bad for business.” Bowen finished matter of factly.

At his blasé tone, Hannah felt herself growing a little angry at the way he was talking about real life people. Her people more specifically, as if they were nothing but commodities to be traded.

“Well…” Ari cut in, “The only crisis we face is whether or not we catch fresh lobster.” The three of them laughed as Ari shook his head. “Just kidding.”

“Well, I just got back from Gedaref, where the Mukhabarat had executed another 30 people.” Walton Bowen deadpanned and instantly the mood around the table changed. Cold washed over Hannah and besides her Ari shifted ever so slightly in his seat, the smile slipping from his face. “This is quite serious.2

Ari inhaled deeply and raised his eyebrows, he was done. They had a mission to prep for, and now more than ever he had to make sure that it was a success especially as his prediction seemed to be coming true- the net was closing in on them now and who knows how long they had. “I'd like to stay and chat, but I gotta get back to work.” He spoke, looking at Bowen.

“Yes, we have dinner to do and some night diving to prepare.” Hannah added.

“Sure. Okay.” Bowen nodded as the two of them stood up “Enjoy the...” he waved at the food on the table with his other hand as they both walked towards the exit, but Walton said something else that stopped them both in their tracks.

“Kabede Bimro, right?”

Ari glanced at Hannah, the pair of them hastily covering their shock with what they hoped looked like a confused glance and Ari shot a look at Bowen “Excuse me?”

“Hmm? Oh I just think it's such a funny name. Kabede.” The man shrugged.

“Yeah…” Ari made a face as if he found the whole thing baffling, before he turned back, his hand dropping to Hannah’s back but before they could move Bowen spoke again.

“And what about Ethan Navon…”

Hannah gave a little start. It was slight, an almost imperceptible slip, but a slip none the less. She swallowed, recovering, and turned to look at Ari, frowning.

“Guy, do you know what he’s talking about?” she asked.

Ari shook his head “Not a clue Firefly” he used her nickname in the hope it would calm her, and also to play the whole situation as naturally as he could. He looked at Bowen “I really have no idea who these people you’re talking about are, should I?”

“You tell me”

“I wish I could.” Ari gave a chuckle, shaking his head again, and giving Bowen a look that he hoped made the man believe that Ari thought he was crazy.

“You know, Mr Bowen…” Hannah spoke again “It’s getting late and it can get dark out there pretty quickly. If you’d like a room for the night we can fix it.”

“Not necessary, but I wouldn’t mind a look round.” Bowen shrugged “Maybe I’ll come stay sometime in the future, that is if I’m still in the Country, of course.”

“Go ahead” Ari nodded “Just shout if you need us.”

At that the pair of them made their way as calmly as possible from the dining room and into the kitchen, where the rest of the team was congregated. “What's the CIA doing here?” Sammy asked, “What did he want?”

“I don't know.” Ari ran his hand over his beard.

“He mentioned Dad, Sammy. Hannah looked at him.”

“I heard” Sammy nodded.

“I think he was trying to warn us.” Hannah shrugged.

“Fuck! He knows about Kabede.” Jake slapped his palm on the side behind him and Ari stood up tall, looking through the doorway at Bowen before he turned back.

“We gotta go.”

“No, this is just so fucking stupid.” Sammy shook his head “Tell Kabede it's too dangerous. We'll pick it up in two weeks when we have a chance to assess the threat.”

“We have 200 people—“ Ari began to protest but he was cut off by Sammy

“Yeah, and we'll have 200 people less if we fuck it up.” He hissed.

“For fuck's sake, Sammy, will you just trust me for once?”

“Well, if we're doing this, we need to leave now.” Hannah spoke, looking around “So what's it gonna be?”

Max, who hadn’t spoken a word since Ari and Hannah had joined them, swallowed the sandwich he had been eating and wiped his hands on his shorts “We go.”

“That simple?” Sammy looked at him and Max turned to Sammy, fixing him with a stare.

“Yeah, that simple.”

[avengerscompound]

The Tower: Family - 5

The Tower: Family An Avengers Fanfic

Series Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Pairing:  Avengers x OFC, Bruce Banner x Bucky Barnes x Clint Barton x Wanda Maximoff x Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanoff x Tony Stark x Thor x Sam Wilson x OFC (Elly Cooper)

Word Count: 1591

Warnings:  Pregnancy

Synopsis: With new powers, Thor now living on Earth full time, a wedding to plan, and Natasha and Wanda expecting, a lot is changing for Elly and her large and rather unconventional family.  When Elise’s parents try to reestablish connections, Elly questions what being a family actually means.

Chapter 5: I do

The month that led up to the wedding went by very quickly.  We were all super busy setting up the compound to run without any of the actual Avengers there to run it, making sure the Tower was ready to move back into and making sure the hotel was ready for our wedding.  Both Natasha and Wanda had both started experiencing morning sickness, but most days they could keep it under control with ginger pills.

The doctors had arrived and were running their tests and just before we left to our private Caribbean island, they each had their first ultrasounds and we got to see their little peanut-shaped lifeforms growing inside them.  Everyone was excited and I was finally at peace with the idea that they were getting the kind of support I didn’t right from the start.

Two of Tony’s private jets took everyone to the island.  One contained us and the kids and the other took Rhodey, Happy, Jax, Clarke, Sam’s siblings, May and Peter Parker, Vision, and Hill.  That was the entirety of the group attending the wedding.  The bonding on Asgard had been the real wedding, this was just making a legal part and our honeymoon.

The honeymoon villa had been renovated to suit us specifically.  It had been there in the original hotel, with two bedrooms, a dining room, and living area, as well as its own private pool and a hidden entrance that led right out onto the beach.  The dining table went from a six-seater to a twelve-seater and the master bedroom was extended out and a bed to fit all ten of us was built specifically for it.

We didn’t separate at all the night before the wedding.  We’d already done all those traditions, and besides, we were far from traditional.  Instead, after breakfast, the men went to a different hotel room to get ready, while I had Natasha, Wanda, and a small team getting us ready for the ceremony.

Getting dressed wasn’t too hard.  We were wearing simple lace dresses.  Natasha and Wanda’s were in matching long red lace.  Both were fairly transparent, and while Natasha just wore matching lace underwear in the same shade of red as the dress under hers, Wanda wore a fitted black playsuit under hers.  My dress was white lace, loose fitted, and very short, only barely reaching past my ass if I raised my arms above my head or bent over.  It was also extremely transparent and I wore a matching white lace bra and panty set under it.

When we had our dresses on, they went about doing our hair and makeup.  Riley and Pietro were dressed and ready already and we were also keeping half an eye on them so neither would mess up their hair.  Riley had a long white lace dress on with her long blond hair in a halo braid with a crown of small white roses on.  Pietro had a similar crown that his shorter blond hair curled into, and he wore a pair of white linen pants with a white linen button-up shirt that was not tucked in over it.

“How nervous do you think Tony is right now?” I asked as the make-up artist put the finishing touches on my makeup.

“Groomzilla?”  Natasha asked.  “Three thousand.”

I laughed.  “But we already did the proper one.”

“Yes, but this is the public one,” Natasha said.  “And it’s legal.  You’re a Stark now.  Yeah, there was the prenup, but you now have him.  Legally.  He’s going to start thinking he’s going to fuck it up.  Plus you know that no matter what, it’s going to get out.  I can cloak us, but people will post photos.  Those photos are going to get out.  And even if they don’t - word will.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” I agreed and the makeup artist moved away making room for the hairstylist to put my crown of white frangipani on.  My hair was just left in loose curls that hung down my back and over my shoulders.

“Mm-hmm,” Natasha hummed getting up.  Her hair was in a half braid with small red roses worked into it.

The stylist looked me over and gave me a nod.  “I think you’re ready,” she said.

I stood and did a half-twirl.  “What do you think?”

Wanda looked up at me from where they were threading red Frangipanis into her braid.  “He’s going to cry.”

“It’s gonna make his pirate liner run,” Natasha teased.

I gigged.  “But I barely even look like a bride.”

She shrugged and they let Wanda up.  I picked up my bouquet of pale green, pink, and white tropical wildflowers and looked around.  “Do I have everything?”

“Old, new, borrowed, blue? Garters?”  Wanda asked.

“Well, I can see you’re wearing your underwear, so that’s no problem,” Natasha teased.

“I don’t have any of the other things,” I said, making a face.

“How can you have a proper American wedding without the traditional wedding things?”  Wanda asked.

I shrugged.  “I don’t like to do traditional things.  Also if I add a garter to this outfit I’ll look like a stripper.”

Natasha looked me up and down.  “Confirmed.”

I laughed.  “Thanks, Nat.”

“You’re the one that dressed as a stripper for your wedding,” she teased.

Wanda picked up the bottle of bubble mix and the little satin cushion with the rings on them, while Natasha got both of their bouquets of red and white wildflowers.

“Okay, let’s go get married,” I said.  “Come on, kiddos.”

We went down to the hidden entrance.  I could see the wedding arch standing on the sand, the men all milling around it.  In front of them were chairs set up in an aisle with our very small group of guests sitting at them.  There were threads from me to every single person there, except the staff.  It looked like a big web of light.

Wanda gave Riley her bottle of bubbles and the cushion to Piet as a staff member gave the nod to the duo on acoustic guitar and they began to play ‘Fluff’ by Black Sabbath.

“Okay, kiddos.  It’s time,” I said crouching to talk to them.  “Pietro, can you walk down to your daddies?  Not too fast, not too slow.  Go with the music.”

“Otay, mommy,” Pietro said and went through the gate and down the aisle that was laid out with petals.

When he was about halfway down I pointed Riley in the right direction.  “You next, bug.   Make sure you blow lots of bubbles for everyone but follow your brother.”

She nodded and took off after Pietro a little too fast.  I chuckled as I watched her and Wanda took her flowers from Natasha.  “See you down there, my love,” she said and kissed me gently before heading out after the kids.

I took Natasha’s hand and squeezed it a little too hard.  “Oh, so now you’re nervous?”  She teased.

I nodded.  “Just a little.”

“It’s Tony,” she said.  “And us.”

I nodded.  “I know and we did it already.”

She looked at me with her head tilted.  “Will you be okay for two seconds?”

I nodded.  “Yes.  I’ll be okay.”

She kissed me gently and let my hand go.  “See you soon, Mrs. Stark.”

I watched her walk down and when she got to the end I stepped out through the gate.  Tony looked up at me, his eyes shimmering.  He was fidgeting a little, shifting from one leg to another and tapping his fingers on his thighs.  When I reached him I offered him my hand and he took it quickly, his hands shaking slightly.

“Hey,” I said softly and gave his hand a small squeeze.

“Hi,” he replied, just as softly.

The celebrant stepped up to us and began. “First,” he said loud enough for everyone to hear. “I’d like to begin by welcoming everyone and thanking each and every one of you for being here on this happiest of days.  It’s no accident that each of you is here today, and each of you was invited here because you represent someone important in the individual and collective lives of Tony and Elise.

“We are gathered here today to celebrate the joining of these people.  A union that has already been made, but will now be formalized in front of you, their closest friends and family.  Not just two hearts but many using these two individuals as a symbol of their group’s unity,” he said and focused his attention on Tony and I.  “This contract is not to be entered into lightly, but thoughtfully and seriously, and with a deep understanding of its obligations and responsibilities.  Tony and Elise have prepared vows that they will read now.”

Tony cleared his throat and looked into my eyes.  “I, Anthony Edward Stark, take you, Elise Frances Cooper, to be my wife.  I promise to never lock you out of my lab, especially when you’re only wearing a lab coat and nothing else.  I promise that I’ll never enact the ‘kick you out of the tower’ protocol on you and that we will get Shake Shack after every stuffy event I take you to.  I promise to make sure I cherish you every second we spend together but to make sure I let the others do that too.  Today, tomorrow, and for our forever.”

I teared up as he spoke despite the soft laughter from everyone around.  I squeezed his hands and took a deep breath.  “I, Elise Frances Cooper, take you Anthony Edward Stark to be my husband.  I promise to be patient when you get all caught up with your work and to try not to distract you from it unless I’m only wearing a lab coat.  I promise to not get all weird when you give me presents and to listen carefully when you say ‘I love you’ when you aren’t using your words.  I promise to love you with all my heart, just exactly the way you deserve so you never doubt that I am here for you and I’m not ever going anywhere.  Today, tomorrow, and for our forever.”

“Do you Tony, take Elise to be your wife?”  The celebrant said.

“Can I say maybe?”  Tony teased.  “No?  Too late?”  I giggled and pouted playfully and he caressed my cheek with his thumb.  “I do.”

“Do you promise to love, honor, cherish, and protect her until death do you part?”  The celebrant asked.

“I do,” Tony repeated.

“And do you, Elise, take Tony to be your husband?”

“I do,” I replied.

“Do you promise to love, honor, cherish, and protect him until death do you part?” He asked.

“I do,” I repeated.

“Then can we have the rings?”  He asked.

“Dat’s me!”  Pietro shouted, getting up off the ground where he and Riley had been building a mound in the sand.   He bounced over with the pillow and Tony crouched down and took it off him.

“Thanks, bumblebee,” he said, kissing his son’s forehead.  He got back up and untied the rings from the cushion and handed one to me.

“These rings are forged from precious metals taken from the earth, raw and imperfect.  They were shaped and molded into the perfect circle.  Unbroken and never-ending.  Just as the love you have for each other was rough and imperfect and was shaped and molded together to something strong and eternal.  Place them on your fingers as a symbol of your love,” the celebrant said.  Tony’s hand shook a little as he slipped the ring on my finger and while I slid his into place on his.

“By the powers vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife.  You may kiss each other,” the celebrant announced.

“About time,” Tony said, pulling me flush against me and dipping me back as he kissed me deeply.  Around us, the others kissed too, and our small gathering of friends and family all cheered.

When he let me back to my feet, he held my hand tight and the celebrant held up his hands.  “I now present to you, not just the happy couple, but the full polyamorous family!”

The guitarist started to play an acoustic version of ‘Back in Black’ and we made our way back down the aisle in pairs, a legal binding now part of our family bond.

// NEXT

[elsanna-shenanigans]

June Contest Submission #12: Boom Boom Pow

Words: ca. 3,300 Setting: mAU Lemon: lime CW: sand, alcohol, beanbags, dash of lime, language

“Do you like the stars?”

“Anna it’s fucking noon, the sun is up, it’s bright as shit. Why are you asking about stars?”

“Yo, my dude, chill. The sun is a star… right?”

Elsa rolled her eyes and turned up the radio, blasting 80’s music, but only the good songs. “I don’t know why I agree to come with you on these things.”

At this Anna laughed and danced a bit offbeat to the song that was playing. She didn’t know the lyrics, but the bass line was nice and she could vibe with that. She let the whole song play out before answering.

“Because you loooove me” She sing-songed, earning another eye roll from the driver. “You love me and we’re going to the beach and it’s going to be a good time.”

“If I didn’t love you, would it still be a good time?” Elsa asked, smirking.

As a response, Anna reached over and changed the radio. A loud, bass-heavy rap song overtook the speakers. The signer immediately spitting out questionably appropriate lyrics for the radio. Elsa’s face reddened under her large glasses and she reached to change channels so quickly that she turned it off. Enveloping the small sedan in a brief silence till Anna’s laughter filled the space.

And it went on like this the entire car ride, bits and pieces of random songs rapidly changing. Anna would allow something Elsa liked to play out entirely but when it was her turn she either skipped around or Elsa changed the station for her. The older woman apparently hated both rap and country music. The first part Anna didn’t understand and the latter, she agreed with. She was desperately trying to find a gospel station, just to see her sister’s reaction, but she found nothing but commercials.

Finally, she heard what she was looking for and turned to see Elsa’s reaction just as the other girl reached over and turned the radio off again. Anna was going to protest when she realized they were in a drive-thru.

“What can I get started for you today?” a tired-sounding voice asked over the intercom.

Anna leaned over Elsa to get closer to the open window and thus the speaker box. Making sure to be just close enough to be annoying.

“We would like to get married please, with Elvis if you have him, if not we’ll take what you have.”

“Anna!” Elsa exclaimed, slapping her on the shoulder.

There was an audible sigh come over the loudspeaker, “Ma’am this is a Wendy’s.”

“Oh right, then I’ll take a cheeseburger and a medium Coke, no ice. Thank you!”

“Anything else?” the tired voice asked. “I’ll have the same thing.”

They continued driving towards the beach after the drive-thru. Cupholders full of sodas in flimsy paper cups, and Anna’s lap full of white paper bags of greasy food. She kept sneaking a fry when she thought Elsa wasn’t looking. But it was a small car and Elsa could see every bit of fried potato Anna took.

The closer they got to the beach, the darker the sky became. Tall looming clouds crept over the horizon. They couldn’t see the beach yet as it was the east coast, and most roads took you to the beach straight on instead of winding down cliff faces like the Pacific was famous for. But still, the clouds loomed. Elsa knew there was a storm somewhere off the coast, but it seemed far away last she checked, which wasn’t today. She refused to check the weather today for fear of bad news.

On the main highway, traffic was starting to get heavy, more tourists were headed for their long-awaited vacations and the road ahead was either congested to the point of slowing down. Or there was an accident and everyone had to slow to a crawl to creep a glance at the carnage.

Thankfully the girls weren’t tourists, unthankfully they lived close to this tiny town that became a major city in the summer months. Having to deal with millions of tourists every year meant that locals had a series of short-cuts. So when traffic started building, Elsa took the next exit rather suddenly, cutting across the solid white lines and nearly missing the crash barrier.

“Elsa! Shit! What the fuck!” Anna yelled and shot out her hands with nearly inhuman speed to catch the drinks before they spilled out of their too-small cupholders. “There’s a backup, I’m not sitting in that,” Elsa replied, taking the next turn so hard that the car nearly tilted on two wheels.

“But I saw flashing lights, it could have been a firetruck!”

“It could have been a police car…”

“But Elsa you don’t understand, the hot firemen! …and women.”

“Anna I’m not sitting in traffic for 30 minutes or even longer, just for you to ogle at people in uniform.”

Anna took another fry, “Not people in uniform, F-I-R-E-M-E-N and women. It is very different.”

Elsa let out a heavy sigh as they came to a stop at a red light. “If I buy you that stupid Australian calendar will you shut up?”

“Wow, harsh.” Anna dramatically threw one braid over her shoulder. “But, yes.”

Again, Elsa rolled her eyes and continued forward when the light changed. It was only a short while later that they left the main road and turned into a small, older housing development. The narrow street lead them all the way to the ocean, coming out on the far end of the main strip. Highrise condos and hotels dotted the skyline to their left, but right in front of them was the beach, concealed behind a short sand dune. Because life is a bitch like that sometimes.

Luckily for them, there was also free parking at this end if you didn’t mind a bit of a walk. Which, for the price of 17 bucks to park next to the beach, who wouldn’t mind the walk. 17 dollars could buy many cheeseburgers, Anna pointed out.

The beach wasn’t nearly as crowded down where they were, away from the boardwalk and the hotels. The sand also happened to be rockier, rough and pitted with long-forgotten footprints and broken shells. The beach groomers didn’t come this far. Which was fine by them, they would take a rough sandy beach with fewer people over a crowded hellscape any day.

There’s nothing more relaxing than simultaneously listening to eight different speakers all playing different music. While children screamed for no reason and the air was filled with a mix of sunscreen and cigarette smoke.

So yes they will miss out on the hot lifeguards and yes there will be fewer people to watch. But you can’t put a price on the quiet and the fresh air that this section of the beach had to offer.

After crossing the highway on foot, climbing the dune, and laying out their towels, only then did they pause to look out on the water. The ocean was angry, white caps dotted the surface as far as they could see. The horizon line was blurred with fog or rain and the dark clouds from before were more ominous than ever. Why the two women didn’t notice all these signs until now was some kind of act of God. Or stupidly. Probably the latter.

The beach itself was even more sparsely populated than normal. A smart person would have gone home after seeing all the warning signs. But this was Anna’s only day off for the next few weeks. And Elsa, well Elsa was too stubborn to admit her beach idea was a bad one.

They both laid down, on separate towels, choosing to ignore the warning signs and attempting to soak up as much sun as possible before it was swallowed by the coming storm. Elsa tried not to think about it too much. Neither was sure how long it had been before they were interpreted.

“What are you two gay ass losers doing?” Came a female voice.

“Ch’yeah it’s like gonna rain bruh.” Said a male’s.

Elsa opened one eye to see her cousin and her boyfriend, or so it fiancé now? Standing over them. The sky beyond them somehow looked even darker than before, which was very rude.

“Trying to enjoy the sunshine, obviously.” She mumbled in response.

“What sun?” their cousin asked, in a weird out of place, and badly performed accent.

“Wait but what is that voice?” Anna asked, sitting up and brushing the sand off her arms. How that girl could get sand everywhere, Elsa would never know.

“It’s like our new characters,” Eugene answered, earning not an eye roll from Rapunzel but a nod of approval.

“I’m New York and he’s Los Angeles. Both strong and independent cities that you could almost say are their own character. And those characters are us.” She added

“Why though?” Elsa was also now sitting up and confused, though nowhere near as sandy because she wasn’t a dirt gremlin-like her sister.

“Because we wanted to be unique characters, otherwise we’re just boring white people and where’s the fun in that?” Eugene or rather Los Angeles answered.

“Oh boring, like you watch Star Trek and try to fit it into everything even though it has no business being there?”

Eugene shot Anna finger guns, “exactly, this one gets it… bruh.”

A boom was heard in the distance and it sent a few people running towards their cars, towels billowing behind them. A long-distance away, over the water, there was a flash and with it, the wind picked up.

“Looks like our beach day is ruined, I’m sorry Anna.” Elsa stood and began to roll up her towel. Even with the limited sun, she was already red on her front, making a stark difference to the pale skin of her back.

“Nah we just getting started, come back to our place and play some ping pong. We just pulled the table out of storage.” Rapunzel aka New York offered. The two of them didn’t live far from the beach, having taken over Rapunzel’s parent’s beach house. It was very old and run down, but the pair was fixing it up in exchange for free rent.

‘Aye New York is right, and we can take my new whip… bruh.” Los Angeles gestured over his shoulder towards the dunes. They couldn’t see it yet because that dang dune was blocking things again. But everyone knew he was referring to his new golf cart.

Reluctantly the girls agreed and a few long minutes later they were rushing inside an old house to avoid the rain that had just started to fall. Their car was left abandoned in the free parking lot.

Inside was an odd mix of old and new. Brand new stainless steel appliances dotted a kitchen with dark wood cabinets and a yellow linoleum floor. A half-torn-down wall gave way to the living room with floor-to-ceiling wood paneling and floral print furniture.

“It ain’t much but it’s home.” Los Angeles said once everyone was inside. He walked beyond the torn-down wall and slapped his hand on the wood paneling. “New York over there hates this stuff, but it’s hella soundproof if you know what I mean.” With this, he wiggled his eyebrows and finally, earned an eye roll from New York.

“How did you know we were on the beach by the way?” Elsa asked as she took a step further into the kitchen to look at the collection of magnets on the fridge.

“Your sister posted about it on her tumblr of all places. Honestly, get an Instagram like the rest of us already.” New York said throwing her hands up dramatically. The drama ran in the family apparently.

The ping pong table was in the basement, a dimly light space with concrete walls and a tiled floor. Mix-matched chairs lined the walls and a mini-fridge sat in the corner next to a shelf full of liquor bottles.

The ping pong game quickly descended into beer pong with a twist. No one had to drink from the cups the ball landed in. Because that’s gross, don’t do that. Inside if someone managed to land the ball in a cup the other team had to take half a shot of vodka. Los Angeles had wanted to do full shots but Elsa and New York talked him out of it, if only for not dying reasons.

Even so after a few games with no true stand-out winner, just a bunch of dumb luck, they were all fairly buzzed. Flushed creeks and slurred speech. Outside the storm finally hit. Rain battered the small basement windows and thunder boomed overhead.

With each thunderclap, Elsa reached for Anna’s hand and wouldn’t let go till the other girl gave it a reassuring squeeze.

Finally, everyone seemed to have enough of the game and collapsed into bean bag bars that Anna and Elsa had both not noticed before. Elsa scooted her bean bag closer to Anna’s, the other two people didn’t seem to notice. New York was hanging all over Los Angeles. Her fingers tracing the curve of his jawline down, her eyes practically boring holes into his face. He acted like he didn’t see, but it was obvious he knew.

“You guys can stay here for the night if you want since the storm sounds so bad,” Eugene said, dropping his horrible accent.

“That’s very kind, but it’s just a little rain, we’ll be alright,” Anna replied, completely forgetting their car was many blocks away.

New York stopped messing with her man and turned to them. “Anna, it’s more than a little rain. It’s a hurricane, I mean it was a tropical storm and it was supposed to miss us. But you know how it be sometimes.” She said with amazing clarity for a drunkard.

Elsa’s hand shot to Anna’s and she let out an audible gasp. She had refused to check the weather before heading out the door today, figuring what she didn’t know, can’t hurt her. Which was stupid and out of character for someone who claims to be responsible.

Another boom followed by a bright flash of lightning illuminated the room for a brief second. Elsa looked terrified so Anna took it upon herself to change the subject.

“So we will be seeing you in two weeks right?”

Rapunzel playing New York smiled and clapped her hands together, “Yes! At the church!”

“For things better left unspoken,” Eugene playing Los Angeles groaned, covering his eyes with his forearm.

Another boom and the room was suddenly cast in darkness and accompanied by an eerie quiet. You never notice how much sound your electronics make till everything is off. Elsa grabbed Anna’s entire arm, holding it so tightly Anna was worried she would lose it.

“Ah fuck the power is out. We have some candles upstairs, I’ll be right back, Rapunzel can you see if the camping lantern is over on the shelf?”

“Um excuse me, it’s New York, but yes I will look.”

Two bodies moved away in the darkness, their paths illuminated by the small light on their phones. Next to Anna, Elsa’s breathing became rapid and she clung to Anna as if she was in danger of being blown away.

“Hey, it’s going to be alright,” Anna whispered, using her free hand to pet the top of Elsa’s head. The older girl shifted so in one fluid motion she was off her beanbag and on Anna’s before curling into the young girl’s side.

“I found it!” Rapunzel slash New York exclaimed. She turned it on and the room was partly lit up. She walked back to where the other two women were cuddled together and sat back down in her own beanbag.

“Wow, that’s like hella gay.” She said, pointing to the pair.

“Oh shut up, she just doesn’t like storms, you know that.” Anna quipped

Elsa let go of Anna’s arm long enough to extend a hand and flip off her cousin, earning her a laugh in response.

Eugene returned shortly after with the candles, a tray of food, and some cards. “Anyone up for a game of hurricane poker? It’s like regular poker only there’s a hurricane.”

He rejoined the group, placing the tray in the middle of everyone and paying no mind to the two women who now shared a beanbag.

Elsa lifted her head to look, the tray was adorned with a random assortment of food. Celery sticks, M&M’s, KitKat bars, Cheetos, Grapes, and some animal crackers. She made a face.

“What’s wrong uh bruh?” Eugene asked in a bad attempt to get back in character. Los Angeles would never quite be the character that New York was.

“I’ll only eat celery sticks if you pay me,” Elsa responded.

The next few hours consisted of Eugene completely wiping the floor with everyone. They played for the M&M’s, of which he now owned all of. With the power still out and the storm still raging on the decision was made for the sisters to spend the night over.

Their room was completely unrenovated, the same wood paneling from the living room made up the walls and the carpet was a thick green shag rug. Eugene was right about one thing though, the paneling sure did dampen the sound. Once the door was shut the two women could hardly hear anything, which was good because Rapunzel had started blasting Mandy Moore music for some reason.

There was only one bed, pushed into the corner, but it didn’t matter anyway. There could have been 80 beds and they still would have shared just one.

Anna laid down on her back and traced the grains in the wooden wall. “Really makes you want to carve something in this stuff you know? Something that would be around for hundreds of years.”

“Please don’t vandalize our cousin’s house,” Elsa said before sitting on the edge of the bed. She turned the lantern off so the only source of the light in the room was the candle on the nightstand.

“You alright?” Anna asked, propping herself up on one elbow.

“Yeah, I’m just worried about the storm, I can’t stop thinking about it.”

Anna reached out and gently grabbed Elsa’s arm, guiding her back to lay in the bed next to her. “Do you want to sleep or keep your mind off things?”

Elsa paused for a brief moment before removing her arm from Anna’s grip. “I don’t know…”

“It’s your choice, either way, I’m here for you.” Anna smiled at her, a flash of lightning lit up the room but no thunder.

It startled Elsa but she remained where she was, staring at Anna. Thinking, always thinking.

“It’s just a storm and this old house seems to be built like a tank anyway.” She made a fist and pounded the wall to prove her point.

Elsa started twirling the end of one of Anna’s braids but her eyes remained locked on Anna’s. The delayed thunderclap came and Elsa inhaled sharply. Anna leaned over and kissed the top of her forehead.

“You sure this is okay?” Elsa asked and Anna nodded, running the back of her hand down the other girl’s cheek. “Let’s get our mind off of things then.”

Elsa crawled till she was straddling Anna who gazed up at her with eyes that shown like stars in the candlelight.

“What’s your favorite constellation?”

“Hmm, probably Orion, because you can find his belt so easy,” Anna answered, “Yours?” “Your eyes”

“Ew, that’s so fucking cheesy.”

Elsa leaned down, her mouth slightly agape. Anna’s eyes fluttered shut as her hands found their way to the other woman’s shoulders.

The storm, the damage, their car, all these things could wait until tomorrow. Tonight they were out of their control so for tonight they didn’t matter.

Elsa blew out the candle, and they both plunged into the sinful escape of the darkness.

[roboticspacecase]

BillDip Klance meeting where Bill's taking Dipper on a date to a distant planet and they come across the Paladin couple on a date of their own.

Got a little long, more under the cut lol

“I still can’t believe you know how to fly this thing,” Dipper laughed, holding onto the belt across his chest.

Bill shrugged, his feet propped up on the steering wheel. “Well, when your dad is the commanding officer of a star fleet, you kind of pick this sort of stuff up. And uh, I kind of lied about him knowing of this. I took the keys to this little ship when he wasn’t looking in the break room.”

A loud sigh came from Dipper. “Really? The most romantic date you thought to take me on was in a stolen space ship?” It’s not as though he was shocked, Dipper always knew from the start of their relationship that Bill had a tendency to be a bit of a rule-breaker. But having their date end with a stern talking-to wasn’t going to be fun.

“Oh relax, we can have it back before he even notices that it’s gone. I used to do this all the time when I was like, sixteen and he never caught me back then.”

Dipper believed that about as much as he believed the Earth to be flat, which was, of course, not at all. Living in a society filled to the brim with technology had its perks, but with someone like Bill so close to the dangerous stuff, it was nothing short of a miracle that Earth hadn’t imploded already.

“What planet are we even going to? Please tell me you actually looked up a nice one, I can’t take a repeat of last time. There were so many sand traps and that weird slime made me sick.” Dipper shivered at the memory of the time he and Bill had gone on public transit to some shady stop on an asteroid that had a self-driving cab to a planet that Bill thought would be cool. It turned out to be a planet that no one could really live on because, while interesting to explore, it had very few places to stand without sinking or getting stuck to something.

“I looked this one up, I swear! It’s supposed to have some really interesting carnival going on all the time. People call it the Forever Circus and I thought it sounded pretty cool.” Bill sat up in the pilot’s chair, the leather creaking from his movement. “There it is! See, didn’t take that long to get to and it looks super lively.”

Looking out the window, Dipper could see that there were quite a few people there, the docks in the outer atmosphere were nearly full, and he could see the lights of the docks on the surface lit up as well.

“Alright, this does look promising, I’ll give you that. Just... Promise me the next date will be legal and somewhere safe?” Dipper had his hand on the buckle of his seatbelt, ready to wander off on the planet with Bill the second they found a place to park the ship.

“Promise.” Bill smiled at Dipper then focused on taking the wheel, piloting them to the nearest open place for it.

From the dock, they took a shuttle to the surface. Thankfully, the planet was big enough that the massive amounts of people there didn’t make things too crowded. Dipper could tell that there was an endless amount of things to do there because of the size, and he knew that if they weren’t careful they would stay there for way too long.

“Alright, I made a plan of the stuff we can do, but if you see something that looks like fun, let me know.” Bill paid for the tickets at one of the many booths that they faced off the shuttle, grabbing Dipper’s hand to slap the entry bracelet onto his wrist.”I think we should start with the blasters to see if I can still aim better than you.”

“You have never once been a better aim than me, Bill,” Dipper laughed.

“Oh Pinetree, you’ve wounded me so. Now we have to go and prove who’s right!” Still holding his wrist, Bill dragged Dipper over to one of the many shooting booths. “I’ll go first. Watch and be amazed!”

Bill sat down on one of the stools, next to another human. Seeing humans out on other planets wasn’t too unheard of, but most of the people around them were most definitely not from Earth. The blond paid no mind to the other guy because the round of shooting started soon after he sat down, the two of them going at it as if their lives depended on getting every shot exactly on the bullseye.

Dipper stood behind Bill, cheering him on while the silly music played and the fake bullets rained down on the targets. There was another human next to him, also cheering on the guy he was with. Normally, Dipper would never be very social, but it was always interesting to talk to other humans while away from Earth, just to see why they were there.

“Have you two been here long?” he asked, looking at the man in a red jacket. His hair was jet black and styled short in the front but long in the back, a look Dipper knew he could never pull off but looked cool on the guy.

“Hm? Oh, uh, no, not really. I mean, it’s been about an hour. My... Uh, I guess we’re boyfriends now, but he dragged me here.” The guy looked over at Dipper, ignoring the way his boyfriend and Bill had started to loudly shout at each other about who was the better sharpshooter. “It’s not often we see other humans this far from Earth. I take it you’re with that guy?”

From the corner of his eye, Dipper could see Bill and the other man finishing their round of shooting, only to turn to each other and both demand a rematch after the game told them it was a tie. “Yeah, unfortunately.”

The two of them laugh, the black-haired guy holding out his hand. “I’m Keith. My boyfriend is Lance, who seems to be having... Fun? Over there. I can’t tell if they want to kill each other or if they have some weird bro-understanding.”

“Dipper,” he said, shaking Keith’s hand. “And, knowing Bill, it’s both.”

Bill loudly proclaims a victory over Lance, standing up on the stool and sticking his tongue out. “I win! I knew I could aim better! Dipper, did you see that? I kicked his ass!”

“You barely beat me by one point! And I missed one time because you elbowed me!” Lance got up on his stool, the two of them eye-to-eye. “I just started dating this guy, you’re not about to embarrass me in front of him. We’re going again, this time no cheating!”

Keith shook his head, looking back at the booth behind them. “Want to play a game of toss the ring on the tentacle monster while they do that?”

“Yes, please,” Dipper chuckled, already turning away from the pair of shouting men. They could continue their dates once the two had settled down, but until then Dipper was going to enjoy the carnival and make a new friend, which was what Bill seemed to be doing as well.

[jawritter]

Living With Regret

Summary: Death can be hard to deal with in any aspect, but when you’re in the life, it's something you deal with all to often, and carry with you until it's your turn to burn.

Warnings: Angst, Drinking, mentions of OC character death, swearing, hints of depression. I think that's it.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 2387

A/N: This is a Patreon Exclusive that I’m bringing to Tumblr as a way to celebrate the return of my electricity! LOL! Please do not copy my work! This fic is unbeta'd, so all mistakes are mine!! I hope you all enjoy this one!!

Want more? Check out my Masterlist! Not on Patreon yet? Check the link below and for just two bucks a month you can get exclusive stories and make request!

**MASTERLIST**     **BECOME A PATREON**

The hunt was bad, very bad. You had lost a friend, another piece to the puzzle of your heart now gone permanently from you, leaving a new hole to form a hard callous over. You wondered ideally as you pulled your duffle off your shoulder, and dropped it onto your bed if you would ever get used to losing people, or would ever one hurt as bad as the first time?

You knew hunting was hard when you’d gotten into it, but how could you live in a world that monster existed in, and not try and fight back? To you that would have been just like rolling over and giving up. 

 When that Werewolf back in your hometown had killed your parents, you had readily joined the Winchesters. Much to Dean’s dismay, he would have rather you go on to try and live a normal life, but how were you supposed to do that after what had happened to you? Nothing had ever been fixed by anyone burying your head in the sand, and pretending that it didn’t exist in hopes it would all go away. 

You had been with the boys since John had died. So it was safe to say that you had been with them long enough to know that no matter how much you were hurting right now Dean was hurting that much worse. 

He didn’t know Ben very well, but he carried the same name as Lisa’s son. That alone had opened up some bad memories for Dean anyway. Tonight though, as you watched your friend’s body burn, you could see it in Dean’s eyes, regret. 

He didn’t open up very often to anyone. Dean had walls that would have made the architects of Jericho jealous. Marching around those bad boys for seven days wouldn’t have done shit, because you had been marching around them for years and to no avail. 

You had always carried a torch for the elder Winchester. Even though you weren’t dumb enough to tell him that. If Dean thought anyone was getting too close to him he’d push them away as a way of “keeping them safe,” because he believed that he had some target painted on his ass that would doom anyone he cared about. 

The two of you had somewhat of a “friends with benefits” arrangement that worked out well for the life that you lived, and you were determined that if that part of him was all you could have, then that would be enough.

Dean had two settings after a rough hunt, he’d either be in here tearing your clothes off, and using you as a way to erase some of the pain he felt for just a little while, or he’d shut down completely for days and not let anyone in. Looks like tonight was going to be the latter. 

You rummage around in your special stash of whiskey that you keep for special occasions, and a couple of tumblers before heading to Dean’s room. If Dean wanted to shut down and block everyone out then you knew the only way to stop it was to force your way in, well as far as you could anyway, and try to pull it out of him. 

Dean was the kind of guy that carried things with him. He never let it go. Never. He held onto things better than a nun with a grudge. He carried every loss, every mistake, every failure, and he would take it to his grave. You attributed that to John Winchester’s A+ parenting. 

Dean was always to be the perfect son and in turn the perfect soldier. Even though you know Dean as an adult now realized that John was nothing but a narcissistic, abusive asshole, he was his dad, and it still hurt, and he still carried the way he raised him. 

You didn’t bother knocking on the door of Dean’s room. It was cracked away. So you just pushed it open, and Dean barely even turned to look at you from his position on the bed with his headphones in place. You could faintly hear the classic rock music blaring through them. Probably hoping it would be loud enough to drown out whatever voices in his head that was screaming at him tonight. 

He pulled the headphones off with a sigh, and set them on his nightstand next to his bed, giving you a weak smile as he shoved over to give you sitting room, and taking one of the tumblers and the whiskey from your hand. 

“Spill Winchester?” you said, flopping down next to him dramatically, trying to keep this conversation as light as possible so that Dean wouldn’t just shut down, and stop talking. If you could even get him to start that is. 

Dean let out a long exasperated sigh as he poured a healthy three fingers to each glass. 

“Just… I don’t know. I guess I’m just tired tonight, sweetheart. I'll be fine in the morning.” Dean said, taking a generous drink from his glass. You stared at him with narrow eyes until he snorted a sarcastic laugh, and shook his head. “Okay, so you didn’t buy that then.” 

“How long have we known each other, De? I think I can tell when you're bullshitting me by now,” you state matter of factly, watching him closely as you take a sip of your drink.

Dean licked his lips before pulling his plump bottom lip between his perfect white teeth, eyes a thousand miles away from this room. 

“I guess I’m just tired of losing people, Y/N/N. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there fast enough to save Ben. I’m sorry you had to burn your friend’s body tonight.”

You watched him closely, knowing full well that wasn’t even a scratch on the surface of what was really going on with Dean. You had known him too long. You decided to play along anyway, and see if you could get him to open up to you a little.

“Dean, it’s part of the job. Ben knew the risk, and it didn’t matter how fast we got there it was too late. He drew the short straw. It could have easily been any one of us. At least now Ben can rest, at least now he doesn’t have to fight anymore.” 

You hoped you sounded convincing because right now you weren’t even sure about how much rest people got in death. You had killed enough ghosts and fought enough Demons to know that you didn’t always get a white robe, and a beach house on the shores of paradise when you died.

Dean nodded his head, and took a long drink from his glass, polishing it off, and refilling it before settling into his pillow that was propped against his headboard. His eyes looked distant and dark, and you knew that even if you got him to open up just a little tonight, it would scratch the surface of horrors Dean had seen in his life.

“I have lost so many people. Friends, family, other hunters that died way before their time like Ben. He would have been pretty close to Ben’s age by now, he may have been only a few years older than the Ben I knew.” 

Dean’s eyes shifted over to you carefully. You sat quietly and just waited for him to continue. Determined not to push him in any way.

“I will never not regret exposing them to this life, even if Cas did erase their memories,”  Dean said, shaking his head, and playing with the string on his sweatpants. 

“You mean because you still love Lisa?” you asked, mentally slapping yourself before for not keeping your mouth shut, and asking him something so personal. Dean chuckled at the shocked look on your face, knowing damn well you didn’t mean to say that.

“No, I never loved Lisa. She was… Comfort when I needed the distraction after Sam went to the cage. Then, when I found out Sam was back, she was a burden. She never supported me. No matter what I never fit into her perfect little Stepford husband, picture-perfect family. 

You must have had a shocked look on your face because Dean chuckled again into his glass before he refilled yours.  “Don’t look so shook, sweetheart.” 

“Sorry,” you mumbled, looking down at the brown liquor in your glass, and avoiding Dean’s watchful gaze.  

“I guess, I just always thought that you loved her because you told Sam to never bring her up again.” 

Dean nodded his head thoughtfully. “That was regret talking. I felt like shit because I felt like I ruined their lives. When I should have just left them alone. If I would have just left them alone, then Lisa wouldn't have gotten possessed, and almost died, and Bed would have maybe had a real dad.” 

You thought about that in silence for a long time before taking a sip of your drink again. Letting it burn all the way down to your toes, warming you, pushing the cold you felt inside away for just a little while.

“I guess I haven’t really ‘loved’ anyone, since Cassie,” Dean said. Now that a crack in the dam had formed, it all seemed to be waiting to flood out, and you were more than willing to listen. 

“I told her things about me no one else knew. I trusted her, and she ripped my heart out. Not once, but twice. After that, I’ve never really been able to let go again. Never really could trust another woman. I wouldn’t let myself get close to anyone. Well, anyone except you.” Dean said, giving her a half-hearted smile before turning his attention back to his spot he’d been staring at on the wall. 

“I carry so much regret. Things I could have changed but wasn’t good enough or fast enough to change. Joe and Ellen died because of me. Ash died because of me. Bobby died trying to save me. I left Jack alone with mom knowing that he was unstable, so that’s on me too. Kevin is somewhere staggering around a ghost that I will probably have to hunt and salt and burn one day. That’s because of me. I let myself get close to one woman, and she fucked me up so bad that I can’t get past it, and that’s because of me.”

Dean let out a dry laugh before his eyes turned to meet yours. “I can’t look back on one damn thing I’ve done in my life that I can say I’m proud of. Except for maybe the fact that Sammy turned out okay. Other than that I was never good enough, and I never will be.” 

If your heart could have stopped beating, and you still be breathing, at that moment you were almost sure that’s what had happened. The truth in his little declaration, or at least the truth as he saw it, was enough to break your heart into an unfixable, shattered mess. 

If only he could see what you saw. Someone who was smart, handsome, funny, charismatic, talented, strong, a hero. One who had endured more hurt and heartache than any one person should ever have to in their life. Someone who was constantly cut down, and underrated. Someone who deserved so much better than what this life had given him. Someone who deserved love, whether he believed it or not.

In a momentarily fit of bravery, you reached across the empty space in between you, and grabbed his hand in your own. Dean looked down and smiled a little, lacing his fingers with yours before bringing the back of your hand up to his lips, brushing a quick peck across your skin. 

“Dean, you can’t blame yourself for everything that goes wrong, John was an asshole, Cassie was a bitch, Lisa was an unsupportive moron who didn’t realize what she had, Jo? Well, Jo died a hero, just like she always wanted. Ash and everyone else knew the dangers of this life, just like Ben did, and you can’t carry all that with you all the time. Dean, you’ve saved so many people. The good outways the bad, trust me.”

Dean’s eyes searched yours for a moment before he leaned in and closed the distance between you, brushing his lips lightly over your own before kissing you slowly. It was a tender thing, one that was laced with fear, and hurt, and regret, something that Dean would always live with no matter what you say to him. 

This life comes with some form of regret to everyone, but no one should have to shoulder it all alone. If he’d ever just let you, you’d gladly help to shoulder some of his burdens, but tonight was not the night to talk about that. 

Tonight, tonight Dean just needed you to be close to him. So that’s what you intended to do. 

When Dean finally broke the kiss he leaned his forehead against your own, taking a deep breath before pulling the covers back, offering her a spot next to him. “Stay with me tonight baby girl?” he said in more of a plea than a question. You smiled and nodded, making yourself comfortable in his arms as his lips brushed over your own again after he flipped the lights off on the old lamp sitting on his bedside table.

Dean didn’t know how to tell you yet, but you made him feel things he never thought he’d feel again. Having you this close to him right now, made his heart feel like it could beat a little easier. He could feel himself falling for you as you fell asleep in his arms. He wouldn’t tell you though, not right now. He did vow that it would be soon because tomorrow wasn’t promised, and he was determined that this time, this time he could finally have that thing he was missing the most in the shitstorm of regret, hurt, and scars, and that was you. The piece that had been missing all along. He may have lived his whole life with regret, but that didn’t mean he had to die in it, and whether you knew it or not, you gave him something he never thought he’d have again… Hope.

Forever Tags: @deanmonandnegansbitch​ @hayleeharling​ @flamencodiva​ @coldmuffinbanditshoe​ @bxbyizzy​ @rain-dance-goblin​ @itmejado​ @supernatural3002​ @teresa-67​ @deanwanddamons​ @rvgrsbrns​ @bi-danvers0​ @onethirstyunicorn​ @i-love-superhero​ @akshi8278​ @lyss-dw79​ @magssteenkamp​ @lemondropirwin​ @squirrelnotsam​ @hobby27​ @spnbaby-67​ @mrsjenniferwinchester​ @defenderrosetyler​ @screechingartisancashbailiff​ @thecreatiivecorner​ @aflamboyanceofgays @vicmc624​ @busy-bee-angel-misska​ @justanotherwinchester​ @brilovesdeanwinchester​ @idksupernatural​ @lyarr24 @amandamdiehl​ @love-jackles-37-blog​ @miraclesoflove​ @Waywardsistershy @emoryhemsworth​ @dean-winchesters-gardian-angel​ @softsebastian​ @tatted-trina6​

[wiypt-writes]

Leave No One Behind

Ch 12- Win Some, Lose Some Part 2

Co written with @icanfeelastormbrewing​

Summary: After 2 years of being at the resort Ari and the other agents are gearing up for yet another mission, but there’s a little bit of trouble in paradise for him and Hannah…

Warnings: Bad Language words. Smut (NSFW, 18+ only)

Pairings: Ari Levinson x OFC Hannah Horowitz

Leave No One Behind Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Part 1

Ari woke the next morning and instantly realised something was missing. Simon’s ass from his face. With a stretch he cracked his neck slightly and opened one eye to find that Hannah was also gone. With a little yawn he sat up, rubbing his eyes before he swung his legs off the side of the bed and stood up, heading to the small bathroom. Once finished, he located a pair of swim shorts form the chest of drawers at the side of the hut and pulling them on he made his way outside.

Hannah wasn’t far away. In fact, she was stood straight in front of the hut at the water’s edge as Simon stood by her side, the pair of them simply looking out over the ocean which was alive with the rich, warm pinks and oranges of the rising sun. She was dressed in Ari’s shirt from the night before, her hair in a tangle of curls as it fell down her back, and there was something so raw and intimate about the moment it made Ari’s breath catch. Slipping back into the hut he located Hannah’s polaroid camera and quickly made his way back outside. He took a quick snap, and returned back inside, placing it back down along with the photo to develop before he strode back out of the door and down to the water’s edge.

Of course Simon heard him coming and turned, eliciting a little bark as he trotted towards him. He leaned down to give his dog an ear scratch before he smiled at Hannah who had turned her head over her shoulder to face him. She responded with a smile of her own, looking back at the ocean as he wrapped his arms around her from behind dropping a gentle kiss to her neck.

“You’re up early.” He said as her hands gently came to rest on his strong arms as they pulled her back into him, the fabric of the shirt she was wearing brushing against his bare chest.

“Couldn’t sleep.” She shrugged.

Ari’s nose nuzzled against the skin below her ear and he pressed another soft kiss to her jaw line “You still feeling a little down?”

Hannah took a deep breath and shrugged as her nails raked over his arms.

“You know, if it’s too much…you could go back.” He suggested and felt her still.

“As in, for good?”

“Yeah.” Ari shrugged, “Like I said, I don’t think we have an awful lot of time left…”

“I’m not quitting” Hannah said simply, turning in his arms. “I came to do a job, and I’m gonna see it through.”

“I knew you’d say that” he chuckled and Hannah watched her hands as they smoothed up over his pecs to his shoulders before she met his eyes.

“Why ask me then?” she arched an eyebrow as she looked at him, his hands flexing on her hips.

“Because I love you and I don’t wanna see you sad or unhappy because of me ever again.”

“This isn’t because of you.” Hannah shook her head “You egotistical ass.”

“Harsh!” Ari cocked an eyebrow as she grinned as he huffed out a laugh, “But I mean it Han. I don’t want you feeling like you have to stay.”

“I don’t” she shrugged “Honestly, don’t worry about me. It’ll pass Ari, I promise.”

She pressed her lips to his in a soft kiss before she glanced over to their left and nodded as two people passed them on the beach. “Guests are stirring, I should go shower and get ready for breakfast.”

“Ok.” He nodded and she looked up at him, biting her lip.

“Wanna come scrub my back?”

“You know…” Ari’s hands locked at the base of her back “The amount of times you ask me to do that, you should really invest in a loofah.”

“Yeah but, where’s the fun in that?” she grinned “Besides, why have a wolf and howl yourself?”

Ari gave a snort as she grinned again, stepping out of his hold, slipping her hand into his before she tugged him along with her over the sand towards their hut, Simon trotting behind them. 

****

One of the best traditions the team had come up with since they had started running a now not-so-fake hotel was the party they always held the night before a group of tourists were due to leave. It was the perfect excuse to let loose and celebrate together with another group of satisfied guests, albeit not the ones that were counted on the board. There was always a great bonfire, drinks and good music all accompanied by lots of laughter and wishes of a safe trip back home. 

That night to be no exception to the rule and as Ari and Max were putting the final touch to the makeshift dance floor and checking the sound system, which had been upgraded since the first time they threw that kind of farewell party, Jake and Hannah were in charge of starting the bonfire under the watchful eye of Sammy. Rachel was looking after them all and ensuring they had a steady supply of beer before she settled down on Sammy’s lap. Simon stood a little away from the group, minding his own business which was chasing and trying to bite his own tail.

They were all discussing the choice of music for the night, as Ethan had sent them some new records with the latest shipment, and Max picked one out to check the sound system was up and running. As the upbeat sounds of Rio by Duran Duran rang across the beach the conversation had taken a rather odd turn, shifting to the discussion about who was the best front man- Simon Le Bon vs John Taylor.

"I used to have hair like John Taylor..." Jake piped up, taking a swig of his beer.

"So did Sammy." Hannah snorted, the look on her brother's face made her burst out with laughter as besides her Ari chuckled, his arm draped over her shoulders.

Sammy groaned. "Yeah, laugh all you want but we don't need to discuss that."

"And the stash?" she pressed, making Jake laugh out loud and Rachel chuckle. “Can we discuss that?”

Sammy glared at Jake and then at his sister. "Shut up, Han."

But, despite Sammy's deadly stares, Hannah continued her tirade. "You should have seen him. It was pretty...”

"Cool?" Jake cut her off.

"Disturbing." she blurted out with a grin.

"You two can kiss my ass." Sammy snapped at them, the pair of them dying with laughter by then, before he patted Rachel's hip and stood up to go and get changed.

A few hours later the party was in full swing, and the alcohol was flowing. Hannah who was visibly drunk by then had disappeared for some time and had returned with her polaroid and was busy annoying the boys with it. 

“Pose for me guys…you’re so pretty.” She grinned, before she looked at her brother “Well, apart from you Sammy."

"Fucking fuck you Han." Sammy protested as he staggered, almost falling over.

Rachel started howling just as Ari chuckled and hiccuped. "You can’t, don’t talk to her like that man." he said, shoving Sammy a little, spilling some of his beer in the process. "Oops." he hiccuped again.

"She’s a dick." Sammy snarled.

"Yeah but man…just no." Ari managed to say, his tongue feeling thick and not quite cooperating.

"Lobo stop mooooving. I’m tryina take a photo." Hannah whined, looking at them. "Sammy can you just... like not be here. In the picture I mean." she said as she shifted her weight on the sand trying to not lose balance.

"Red if you make us stand here any longer my clothes are gonna go outta fashion." Jake complained as he let his head fall, his arms over Max and Ari's shoulders.

"Your clothes were outta fashion when my papa was alive, Jake." Hannah quipped, fast as lighting

"Bitch!" Jake groaned.

“Hey, don’t call my girl names, asshole." Ari teased, yanking Jake's arm off his shoulder and turning to shove him which ended in both men faking a heated fight on the sand. "For fuck sake Hannah." Sammy yelled, stepping away from Jake and Ari's mock fight. "Take the camera back inside. You’re drunk."

"So are you." she said, sticking her tongue out at her brother.

"Yeah but I ain’t holding a camera, it’ll end up full of sand or broken."

She paused and looked at him as his words sunk in, and then she shrugged “Yes Dad” and started walking towards her and Ari's hut, stumbling on the sand, drunk as she was. Only she stumbled a little more heavy than she was anticipating and unable to steady herself she was fully expecting to face plant into the sand, until a hand gently grabbed her arm to stop her from falling.  

"Thanks." she whispered honestly as she looked up to see one of the younger guests from the group that had been diving with Jake the day before smiling at her.

“You’re welcome.” He spoke, but not loosening his grip, instead he kept his gaze locked on her, grin spreading across his face.

Max, who had been watching the guy with curiosity, nudged Ari and nodded his head towards the scene.

"What the fuck is that bastard doing?" Ari yelled, a big frown on his sweaty forehead as he released Jake from the headlock he’d had him in.

"Touching up Cracker...I think..." Max shrugged.

"Quit stirring Max " Jake spoke, brushing the sand off his shirt. "She tripped and he stopped her falling bud, that's it."

Ari groaned and took a sip from his beer, eyes still watching. Eventually he saw Hannah step back and laugh before heading up towards their hut. But he didn't miss the way the dark haired man’s eyes followed her, or the way his pals all nudged him and gestured in Hannah’s direction, all of them grinning.

"I’m watching you, you German bastard." Ari mumbled but loud enough for Sammy to hear.

"I told you. It’s always Germans." Sammy said before hiccuping.

"Fuck off. My parents are German." Rachel shoved Sammy.

"Yeah Sammy, the in laws won’t like you talking like that." Max scoffed and Ari snorted as Sammy's eyes opened wide with realisation.

"Sorry babe." Sammy apologized and then glared at Ari. Having heard his snort "Yeah, like my mother likes you, asshole."

“You know your mother loves me, jerk. So much so I went round for dinner last time I was home and she made meatloaf."

"What? Why did you…" Sammy stuttered and Ari grinned at him. "Fuck…"

"No, that’s Ethan’s job." Ari quipped, making everyone but Sammy burst out with laughter.

"You’re sick, you know that? That’s disgusting." Sammy glared at him.

"Everything is disgusting according to you." Jake stated, with a shrug.

"To be fair the thought of my mom banging my boss...." Max said, shuddering at the thought.

"Shut up Irving!" 

"He’s very charming with all those elegant outfits." Rachel conceded.

"Yeah well he can go and charm someone else." Sammy glared at her.

"Don’t you mean some-mum else?" Jake snorted, making Sammy groan as they all sniggered. 

"But Rachel has a point. None of you have seen his silk robe." Ari spoke and Max was fast in following suit. "Mama N has."  He grinned at Ari who grimaced, readying himself for Sammy's final outburst.

"Will you all shut the fuck up?" he growled.

"Ok, ok sorry Sammy." Ari tried to calm him down as he shook his head

"What’s up? Are you angry again Sammy bear?" Hannah, who had just come back, asked noticing her brother's angry face. And she felt Ari's arm curl possessively round her waist, pulling her to him as he chuckled at Sammy's roll of eyes at her sister's pet name for him.

"Sammy doesn’t like Ethan banging your mother, Red." Jake explained, crooking a smile at Sammy.

Hannah wrinkled her nose at the mention of Ethan being her mother's partner. "Well... whatever" she started and then shrugged "Come on guys, let’s dance. I wanna dance." she suddenly changed topic as she grabbed Rachel's hand pulling her towards the “dance floor”.

"Bye then." Max raised his beer to the retreating girls.

"Yeah I’m gonna go dance too." Jake announced, and Ari saw his eyes flicker over a pretty blonde woman who was stood with a group of her friends.

"By dance you mean grind against some clueless tourist?" Max jabbed at Jake who flipped a finger at him as he left.

"They won't be clueless for long." Ari snorted. Half an hour later, after some dancing and more drinking, Ari noticed Hannah and Rachel were surrounded by the German Tourists who had all been watching Hannah. Ari was observing from a distance, the jealousy building slowly but surely, and when at one point he saw one of them wrap an arm round Hannah's shoulder and dip his head unabashedly towards her face he snapped.

"Fucker" he snarled as he started striding over but was stopped by someone grabbing his shoulder. He turned round only to see Sammy was the one holding him back.

"Don't cause a scene man. Han's got it, look." Sammy nodded his head in the girls' direction causing Ari to turn to look in time to see Hannah pulling away, her hands planted on the guy’s chest, shaking her head firmly.

"Yeah, back off asshole…" Ari hissed. "Wait. Is she smiling at him? Why is she smiling at him?" he asked Sammy, his eyes never leaving the scene though.

"She's just being polite." Max said in an attempt to downplay the issue.

"Sure." Ari snorted as he watched Hannah still smiling, her hands still on the guy’s shoulders. "Whatever. I’m ending this now." and he motioned to start towards the guy again. Sammy groaned and called at him to stop, but this time it was Max who physically did it.

"Look chill. There’s nothing going on there and like Sammy said, you’ll cause a scene. Besides Jake is close by."

But Ari was pissed and he was equally drunk, his alcohol fuelled brain wasn't working logically as all he could see was Hannah smiling at that guy that was far too close to her. As he stood watching, his jaw twitching, fists balling at his side, eventually the guy stepped back and held his hands up, turning to leave the girls alone.

Hannah watched the guy as he went, shaking her head at his complete and utter forward nature,  and then spotted Ari. His handsome features which were usually soft when he looked at her were hardened and his gentle blue eyes blazed with rage she hadn’t seen in a long time. She frowned at the outward display of anger and she excused herself from Rachel and Jake and headed over.

"I’m gonna grab a snack." Max was the first to split, as soon as he noticed Hannah approaching.

"Good idea." Sammy agreed and they hastily headed off. 

Hannah watched them for a moment as they left and then turned to Ari, whose jaw was twitching. "What’s wrong Lobo?"

"You tell me Firefly." he replied and she frowned at his flat tone.

"I don't know that's why I asked." she said softly, not wanting to fuel whatever was bothering him.

He scoffed. "You can’t be that oblivious."

Hannah stared at him and frowned again. "Are you talking about that guy just then?"

"Oh, so you do know what I’m talking about then."

She groaned, his jealous nature which was cute at times was at others fucking annoying.  "Ari, he made a pass at me, I told him no. I'm not sure what else there is to say."  

She frowned, feeling slightly puzzled not least because she had done nothing wrong but if Ari really believed what he had seen, then he surely would have been straight in there. He had done it before…

"Why you think he made that move?" Ari asked shrugging slightly at Hannah’s shocked expression.

"You think…” Hannah trailed off, her puzzled expression sliding into one of anger as she realised what Ari was implying and she narrowed her eyes. “You know what? Fuck this." she snarled and turned to leave.

"Firefly!" he growled. "Where do you think you’re going? Come back here! Hannah!"

Hannah stopped and turned to face him, gathering all the self-control she had in her not to slap him straight across his face for yelling at her. "To bed Ari. But for the record the only reason I'm not screaming at you right now is because of all these guests. You're being a fucking asshole, Levinson."

 "No, I’m not." he hissed. "You’re being a brat Hannah."

"I’m being a brat?" she let out a sarcastic, hearty laugh. "Fuck you." she spat at him and with that she stormed off in their hut direction.

Ari stood frozen watching her leave for a moment and when the realization of what had just happened washed over him he kicked the sand. "Fuck!" and he paused for a few seconds, considering his options, before he went after her. He could tell she was aware he was just behind her as she sped up till she finally reached the hut and went to slam the door but Ari got his foot in the way.

"Nice try Firefly."

"Fuck you Ari." she spat those words at him again.

Simon looked up from where he had been dozing on the bed, his head cocking to the side at the raised voices.

"Hey! I’m the one who has the right to be pissed." 

"No, no you don’t Ari!"

"Ok, now, you listen to me…" Ari said sternly as he brushed his hair off his face.

“I don't wanna listen. I'm done." she bit back.

"Fine, whatever." he said as he took off his shirt and went into the bathroom. He usually let her go first but not that night, he was making his point and was determined to stand for it, whatever it took or so he thought as he looked at his reflection in the mirror, his hands gripping the basin so hard his knuckles were now white. He sighed and tried to steady his breathing before sorting himself out and emerging into the room again.

 "Can I go in now?" Hannah asked sarcastically, standing up from where she was sat on the bed.

"All yours." he replied, equally as sarcastic.  

She stalked past him, staring straight ahead, before she shut the door behind her. Once alone in the room she  sat on the toilet, her head in her hands as she started sobbing, all the rage she was feeling seeping from her eyes. That was not how that night was supposed to go, but she had no fucking idea what or why he thought she’d encouraged anything. And the hypocrite was talking just the previous day about keeping the guests satisfied after she’d teased him about flirting. Did he really not trust her that much? She was well aware they were both drunk, so that was probably worse than it should be but still…it hurt.  She felt the tears sting her eyes and wiped them away as he breathed in deeply before standing to wash her face and clean her teeth.  

When she came back into the bedroom Ari was led on his back, looking up at the ceiling. She made an effort to ignore him and grabbed a vest and a pair of shorts, changed and got into bed, turning so her back was to him before clicking off the small lamp at her side of the bed.

Ari turned his head to look at her, letting out a sigh. He hesitated for a moment but he then shuffled and turned towards her back and was about to stretch his arm out for her when she spoke.

"Don’t you dare touch me, Ari."

He grit his teeth at her hoarse voice. He could tell she had been crying but at that point in time he was pissed off. He tried to come up with an equally hurtful comment to show his annoyance but all he managed to say was “Good night firefly."

As no response came on Hannah's part, with an angry groan and a roll of his eyes he turned back the other way and for the first time since they started sharing a bed 2 years ago, they didn’t fall asleep wrapped up in each other’s arms.

And the space between them felt like miles.

**** The next morning Ari woke up to Simon, as always, led on his face. Pushing him off, the dog giving the usual low grumble of protest, Ari grimaced a little at the movement, his limbs feeling heavy. The room was quiet, but he could hear Hannah in the bathroom. With a groan he dropped his arm over his eyes in an attempt to keep the light from painfully flooding his system. His head was pounding and the inside of his mouth felt like he had been eating the sand from the beach.

He cast his mind back over the events of the night and he could remember drinking, fooling around and then everything going to shit. He really didn’t want to think about it, but his stubborn brain led him to replay it over and over again. The more he thought about it, the more he knew he had been an ass, but that bastard making a move to kiss his girl had sent him into overdrive. Fortunately the current set of tourists were leaving that morning and once they were gone Ari could concentrate on damage control with Hannah.

At that point the door to bathroom opened and he moved his arm away from his eyes to see Hannah stepping back into the room, already dressed in a pair of red shorts and a loose fitting white t-shirt that slouched off her right shoulder giving him a flash of her blue bikini strap. Ignoring the fact that the room was spinning, Ari sat up slightly in bed to look at her for a moment before he tentatively spoke.

“You woke up early Firefly” his voice was a little croaky, fuck he needed water.  

“Couldn’t sleep” came the clipped response.

“Han…” he sighed, but she clearly wasn’t in the mood to speak to him.

“I think I’m gonna go for a walk on the beach.” She replied, her tone flat. Ari started to protest but she completely ignored him. “I need to get out of here. I’m suffocating”

“Hannah.” He tried again, and this time she took a deep, annoyed voice and snapped her head round to look at him.

“What?” she demanded.

He knew that speaking to her whilst she was still angry at him would merely result in them arguing even more so he sighed, shaking his head. “Nothing.”

“Whatever.” She rolled her eyes and walked towards the door. As she wrenched it violently open, Simon bounced off the bed and trotted after her as she left, slamming it behind her causing Ari to wince at the noise.

He lay back with a groan, cursing himself. Hannah was really pissed, and now his mind began to wander furiously. He had to make this right, he couldn’t risk losing her. Not again.

“For fucks sake Levinson, get a grip” he chastised himself. This was an argument, a stupid, ridiculous argument that’s all. Worrying about losing her was a little extreme. Wasn’t it?

He lay there, his mind arguing with itself for a few minutes before the sound of voices drifted through the lattice screens which covered the window to their hut. Knowing that he really should get up to see the guests off he kicked off the blankets and swung his legs off the side of the bed before he headed into the bathroom. After a quick shower he pulled on a clean pair of swim shorts and a light and pink hooped t-shirt before he shoved on his socks and hiking boots and headed out.

Breakfast was a quiet affair. Everyone was visibly hungover, plus the tension between Ari and Hannah was festering in the air casting a shadow over the usual well natured meal. There was no gentle touching, no longing looks, no grins, no giggles. The atmosphere was sour, and impossible to ignore.

“You ok, Han?” Sammy looked at his sister as she was picking at a croissant, not really eating much of it.

“Fine Sam.” Her response was short but not angry. Sammy frowned and looked at Ari who was drinking his coffee, deliberately avoiding anyone’s gaze.

Rachel and Jake exchanged glances as Max studied Hannah for a moment. Suddenly conscious everyone’s attention was her she pushed her plate away from her and stood up.

“Excuse me, I need to feed Simon.”

She moved away from the table, Ari following her with his eyes, his head bowing slightly once she was out of sight.

“Something wrong with Cracker?” Max asked.

“Leave it.” Sammy instructed, his eyes flicking to Ari’s before his best friend turned away. He then glanced at Rachel who gave a small sigh and stood up, ready to go and find her but Ari stopped her as he drained his coffee and issued an instruction.

“Make sure everyone is checked out, the bus will be leaving in 30.”

Rachel looked at him, blinking but she didn’t argue “Sure.”

With that he stood up and wandered outside, lighting up a cigarette. As he took a drag he leaned on the wall and out came the group of tourists that had been dancing with the girls the night before. He nodded his head to greet them, a little stiffly, offering no trace of a smile. His eyes watched the asshole that had made the move on his Firefly as he nudged one of the guys on his left, laughing as one by one they settled on the sun-loungers, a few meters away, suitcases by their side ready to depart.

Ari tuned his attention to the ocean, watching the early morning sun bouncing off the surface, and he was trying not to listen, he really was, but he just couldn’t help it when one of the guys, clear as day, asked the asshole if he had said goodbye properly to the Spanish hotty. Ari stiffened, and found himself suddenly undecided as to whether he was happy he could understand German or not.

“I wish.” The asshole laughed in his home language “She seems to have disappeared into thin air. I’m so pissed I only got to speak to her on the last day.”

“You’ve been eyeing her up since we arrived man!” one of the other guys shot back “Pity she turned you down.”

Another snorted “Yeah man, flat out no!”

Sniggers arose from the group and then one of them looked up, Ari hastily averting his gaze, but he clearly wasn’t quick enough.

“Keep it down, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen her with the owner”

Asshole shrugged “He’s American, not German, can’t understand us!”

Ari fought to keep his face straight. Dick.

“You know, you’re worse than that dog that wanders around!” the guy that had told them to shut up shook his head “You cannot keep it in your pants anywhere!” “Can’t help it. But come on, guys! You seen her?”

“Yes, yes we have. She cute.”

Asshole sighed “Pity we’re leaving, reckon I could have worn her down, got her on her back with a little more time.”

Ari felt his jaw clench, he’d heard enough. With a cough he cleared his throat and then felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned to see Rachel looking at him.

“All set.”

He nodded and turned back to the group of boys “Bus is ready if you want to climb up.”

They all turned to look at him and the one sat nearest on the edge of a lounger nodded. “Sure man.”

Ari watched them all gather their luggage and make their way back into the hotel. He nodded as they all walked past him, Asshole taking up the rear, and as he went to pass, Ari placed his arm over the doorway, hand curling round the edge of the frame, blocking his way.

“Hey…” Asshole began to protest but Ari fixed him with an icy glare.

“Next time you wanna talk about getting my girl on her back, maybe check I can’t actually understand you…and for the record, if you weren’t leaving today you’d be shark bait.” He hissed in German, before he moved his arm as Asshole swallowed, his eyes wide with shock and horror. Ari smiled and then spoke to him in English “Have a safe trip home, dick.”

The guy scurried away as fast as he could, Ari’s eyes burning a hole in his back as he left. Once he was out of sight the anger Ari was feeling gave way to guilt as he had basically accused Hannah of leading the asshole on, even though he knew that wasn’t the case. Hannah wouldn’t dream of doing something like that. Sometimes she could be a little flirty but then so could he, it was just who they were, and to accuse her the way he had done was ridiculous. But then again he had been drunk, and even when sober he was a total mess when it came to his girl, and now she was giving him the cold shoulder.

He had to fix this.

Taking a deep breath he headed inside to look for Hannah and found her in the office with Rachel. Immediately he spotted her red puffy eyes and the concern on Rachel’s face and that made him feel like complete shit.

“Rachel, can you give us a minute?” he asked softly. Rachel looked to him before she shrugged.

“Sure”

She turned and left the office, not before giving him a filthy look and once she was gone Hannah looked at him.

“What do you want Ari?” She sniffed and Ari took a deep breath

“Sweetheart, I'm sorry”

“Sorry for what exactly?” she tipped her chin up to look at him, and Ari should have known she wasn’t going to let him off with a mere, simple and overarching apology.

“Last night. I was out of order” “Talk about an understatement! You basically called me a slut.”

“No, Hannah.” Ari began to protest “That’s not what I said.”

“Not with those exact words maybe, but you implied it Ari.”

“It’s not what I meant.” He repeated his sentiment, “Look, I’m so sorry Han. I don’t know what got into me”

“You know…” Hannah shook her head “I knew you had this jealous streak in you but..”  she took a deep breath and licked her lips .”I think I need some space”

At that she made to pass him in the doorway but Ari gently grabbed her arm. “Han, wait.”

“Let me go Ari”

Ari glanced down at his hand and released her arm “Hannah.”

“I just need to be alone.” She swallowed “Please.”

At that Ari gave a small nod and stepped to the side allowing her to leave. With a groan he ran both hand through his hair before his right fist slammed down on the desk in a fit of rage.

“Fuck!” he yelled out, his voice and the thud of his hand punching the desk echoed around the room and he ran his hand down his beard. He was really worried now that he’d completely screwed everything. Today was fast shaping up to be a complete shit storm and it wasn’t even midday yet. For a second he considered heading after her but he knew he needed to respect her request for space, so instead he headed into the bar area, grabbed a bottle of bourbon, necked a shot or 3 to sort his headache out and turned on his heels and left.

****

Later that afternoon Hannah was heading to her hut when Rachel stopped her and said that she needed Ari’s passport for some paperwork which Colonel Madibo requested when he had stopped by on his Annual Visit a month or so prior. Rachel had failed to find Ari so had instead asked Hannah if she could find it in his absence.

As usual when she needed something, Rachel couldn’t wait, so Hannah shrugged and headed back to the hut to see if she could find it and decided to try his backpack first off. As she dug around her hands curled around a leather book. Curiosity piqued she removed it to see it was a note book of sorts and she flicked open the first page, finding it simply to be a log book, written mostly in code but she recognised it as being a short hand that most agents were trained in. It appeared to be accounts of the missions they’d run but as she closed it, she noticed that there were a few photos tucked into the back cover. She gently pulled them out and smiled as she saw the first one was of Ari and Maya when Maya was a toddler. Ari’s hair and beard both much shorter. The next one was a Polaroid of the team at the front of the hotel, then there was one of her and Simon which she had never seen before, but that had been taken yesterday morning from the looks of things, and then one of her, Ari and Sammy which was of her graduation. She frowned a little, unsure why Ari kept this with him considering it was from so long ago at a time when they hadn’t even been together. She turned it over, as if expecting to find the explanation there but she didn’t find anything but Ari’s haphazard scrawl in the bottom right hand corner- “Firefly’s Graduation”

A wave of nostalgia washed over her as she thought back to that day, the gift Ari had bought her, and that being the time she realised she was hopelessly in love with him. She swallowed, before tucking the photos back where she found them. After a little more digging in the backpack she found his passport and headed back to the main hotel and into the office. She held it out to Rachel who smiled, the grin immediately slipping as she caught sight of Hannah’s face.

“You ok?”

“Yeah…have you seen Ari?”

“Not since before no.”  Rachel took the passport she was holding out from Hannah “you know I’m sure he-“

“Yeah, I know.” Hannah shook her head, not wanting to talk about it anymore “Listen, Rachel, I don’t want dinner. I’m tired so I’ll grab something later if I’m hungry.”

“Ok, sure.”

She gave Rachel another smile before she made her way back out to the beach. She stood, hands on her hips as she contemplated going to find Ari to talk but before she could she heard Max yelling at her to take care of Simon who was chewing some of the equipment he and Jake were trying to store. With a groan she went to retrieve the pain-in-the-ass dog, took him back to the hut where she led on the bed and closed her eyes, completely drained.

When she woke a few hours later it was dark. The hut was completely silent apart from Simon’s soft snores and Ari was nowhere to be seen. Standing up she grabbed a warmer top as it had gone a little chilly outside and leaving Simon snoozing on her bed she wandered out onto the dimly lit beach to find him. The resort empty, not a soul to be seen, and it was completely dark apart from the light which was pooling out of the door which led to the main reception area. She made her way to the door which was open and saw Ari sat straddling the desk, legs dangling either side. They were swinging to and fro slightly, the muscles in his strong thighs straining and stretching as he did so, cigarette in his mouth as he studied the ‘Satisfied Guests’ board on the wall. With a soft sigh he led back against the desk, closing his eyes.  

“Ari?” Hannah spoke softly and he turned his head sharply towards her. He eyed her for a moment, clearly trying to size up her mood and she allowed her face to soften slightly and he gave a slight smile in response.

“Hey firefly.”

“It’s late.” She stepped into the room a little more.

“I know.”

“So what are you doing sat on the desk?”

“Just reviewing our satisfied guest number.” He shrugged “Which is gonna go up tomorrow.”

“Exactly, so you should come to bed, you never sleep the night after a mission so…”

“I was gonna take one of the spare rooms.” Ari admitted and Hannah rolled her eyes.

“Don’t be so dramatic.”

“I’m not being dramatic” he shrugged. “You said you wanted space…”

“I’ve had space all day.”

“I know I just…well, was waiting for you to decide when you’d had enough…”

Hannah took a deep breath, bit her lip and nodded to the board he’d been studying. “Look at the back.” She instructed.

“What?” he frowned at her sudden change of subject.

“I said, look at the back of the board, Ari.”

He gave her another puzzled look before he shuffled over and spun it round, his eyes roaming the 5 digits that had been carved into the back. “3. 19. 80.” He looked at her “That’s you birthday 2 years ago.”

“Yeah.” She nodded, “I wanted that date permanently carving into something other than my brain.”

“I’m not…”

“It was the first time you told me you loved me” she explained softly, and Ari felt his eyes widen “I waited so long to hear you say it.” She took a deep breath “Which is why I can’t understand why you think I’d ever look at anyone else.”

Ari sighed, turning the board back round, as he spun his body to face her, legs dangling off the edge of the desk. “I don’t, Han. I was just being a stupid, jealous prick.”

Hannah took a deep breath, looking at him. His eyes were down cast, his face pinched with regret. She exhaled and shook her head “No more ok? I can’t deal with your stupid fits of pathetic jealousy and possessiveness.”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry.” He shook his head, looking down at his hands. “I just, well, you’re not the only one who waited so long for us. Sometimes I worry that, well you’ll realise that I’m just an asshole after all and that you could do so much better.”

“I already know you’re an asshole.” She shrugged, a smile playing on her lips “But you’re my asshole. And I don’t want to do any better.”

Ari’s eyes locked onto hers and he let out a deep breath, smiling softly before he gave a jerk of his head “C’mere…”

“Ari…”

“Just get up here Firefly”

The roll of her eyes and little groan would have maybe fooled anyone else into thinking she was frustrated, but not Ari. He caught the smile on her face as she walked over towards him and hopped up onto the counter. With a grin, Ari looped both his arms around her waist and clumsily pulled her with him as he fell back, both of them laying chest to chest, his arms round her holding her close. She gave a low chuckle, shaking her head.

“Dumbass.”

“Yeah.” He agreed, reaching up and tucking her hair behind her ears with both his hands. He then cupped her face gently, before he leaned up and gave her a soft kiss.

“I love you.”  He said gently “And I really am sorry.”

“I know.”

“You know that I love you or you know that I’m sorry?”

She hesitated for a second before she smirked and arched an eyebrow “Both”

Ari chuckled and Hannah grinned and lay against Ari’s chest, snuggling into his t-shirt, the top of her head up under his chin. Neither of them said anything for a little while, just lay there basking in one another’s warmth, the argument forgotten until eventually Hannah felt her eyes growing heavy.

“Ari.”

“Yeah”

“Seriously, we need to go to bed.”

“Yeah…” he hummed back, his hands stroking up her neck.

“I mean it.”

“Mmhmmm.”

“Ari!” she said exasperatedly and he gave a low groan.

“Okay, okay…”

With what felt like a Herculean effort Hannah pushed herself up and hopped down from the counter, Ari doing the same, his boot clad feet echoing around the empty room as the soles slapped on the tiles. He stretched his arms, causing his t-shirt to ride up a little at the bottom as he ran both hands through his hair. Silently, he held out his hand and Hannah slipped hers into it, and together they headed out of the door pausing only to turn off the lights and make sure the main doors were locked.

**** The next morning was hectic, for two main reasons. A new batch of guests had arrived and in between that they were doing the preps for the mission later that evening. Rachel and Hannah were busy with the guests whilst Max, Jake and Ari were busy with the equipment. Radios needed to be tested, the trucks needed to be checked over to ensure there would be no mechanical issues and Sammy was busy making sure the medical supplies were stocked and packed.

Once that was gone, Ari took himself off for a run, in an attempt to burn off some of the usual nervous energy he had the day of a mission. He was out for a good hour, and as he rounded the edge of the cove onto the last few hundred yard stretch of beach up to the resort he spotted a few new guests were sat out in the sun reading and chatting. He nodded to them as he rounded up the small path off the main shore line, coming to an abrupt halt as Simon ran up to him from goodness knows where, almost tripping him over.

“Hey bud…” Ari panted a little, removing his headphones and clicking off his walkman “Where’s mom?”

“Here.”

Ari spun round to see Hannah stood there in a pair of shorts and a white tank top, the strings of her bikini visible round her neck, her hair damp.

“Hey sweetheart.” He smiled, and she took a moment to look him up and down, noticing the sweat dripping from his forehead and his damp t-shirt that was sticking to his torso. “Pervert.”

She shrugged and grinned before she spoke again, her cover accent thick on her tongue. “Good run?”

He nodded as he continued his deep breathing looking round “Not as much fun as this morning’s exercise though.” He flashed her a cheeky wink as she chuckled and took the soft kiss he offered. “How’ bout you? Good dive?”

She nodded “Still waiting for that elusive Hammer-Head sighting. You know, I’m beginning to think Irvine made it up.”

With a chuckle Ari gently looped an arm round her, pulling her to him as they headed into the main room of the resort, Hannah shoving against him, protesting at the fact he was basically wiping his sweat all over her but their teasing and joking died down as Rachel immediately accosted them, her German accent flawless as always.

“There you are. I was just talking about you with our new guests.”

Ari looked up to see 3 people in chairs in the reception area, and as the man in front of him stood and turned he saw it was Walton Bowen, the guy from the CIA that he had last seen in Khartoum Airport.

“Mr. Thomas, nice to see you again.”

“Now this is a surprise.” Ari smiled, shaking the hand Bowen offered before his hands dropped to his hips, his breathing still recovering from his run.

“Well, I'm sure it is. You're not an easy man to find. I think I saw you nearly two years ago. You were an anthropologist back then.” Bowen eyed Ari shrewdly taking a drag from his baby cigar.

“Right, well...” Ari smiled again, “Didn't pay the bills.” He offered as means of an explanation for the huge change in career direction.

“Yeah…” Bowen looked at him again, his eyes then flicking to Hannah.

“Sorry, where are my manners.” Ari apologised, “Rosa, this is Mr Walton Bowen. Works for the US Embassy?” he made it a question, even though he knew full well all about Bowen’s actual background having been debriefed back in ‘79 following his arrest.

“Of a fashion” Mr Bowen smiled. “Cultural attaché”

“Right.” Ari nodded “Well, Mr Bowen, this is Rosa Garcia, my partner and head of guest relations.”

“It’s a pleasure.” Hannah smiled, shaking Bowen’s hand.  

“Likewise.” Bowen smiled, releasing her hand.

“And you’ve already met my general manager, Angela.” Ari concluded and both Bowen and Rachel nodded in agreement before she spoke.

“I was just about to give Aziz the dinner order, will you be staying?

Bowen shook his head “That’s very kind but, no thank you. We’ll need to get back.”

“Ok, well in that case can I grab you anything for now?” she asked.

“I could go for something.” Ari looked at her, knowing full well the mission meant he would miss dinner and they usually ate a little earlier. Rachel understood perfectly and gave him a nod, turning to go.

“I’ll help.” Hannah turned to Ari who nodded and dropped a kiss to her temple before she hurried out after Rachel. He turned back to Bowen who was simply looking at him, his eyebrow raised a little.

“She a guest who never left or…”

“It’s a long story.” Ari smiled.

“I’m sure it is Mr Thomas.”

Ari nodded and then gestured towards the dining room, indicating one of the tables. “Shall we?”

Bowen turned to the two people who were with him and with a jerk of his head they moved outside. Ari watched them go before he nodded and the two men made their way over and settled at the large table the team usually ate round. Ari grabbed them both a bottle of water from the fridge at the far side of the room and settled in a chair, his elbow leaning on the back of it, as relaxed as he could make himself. They made small talk until Hannah and Rachel, or Rosa and Angela even, having had Aziz fix some crudités and hummus brought them out and dropped them onto the table before they too moved outside to take some to the two other unannounced guests. As Ari watched Hannah then walked back past them into the kitchen, and he returned his attention to Bowen, trying to appear interested, all the time simply waiting to find out what the man had actually turned up for. “Well... the hawks are demanding stricter Sharia law. Nimeiry is increasingly paranoid.” Bowen spoke, dipping a carrot into the hummus. “If you ask me, this entire country is a fucking tinder box.”

“Really? We don't really feel that out here.”

“No?”

“No.”

At that they both looked up as Hannah walked back into the room with a jug of iced tea and placed it in the middle of the table.

“Thanks honey.” Ari smiled at her as he reached for it “You wanna join us?” He paused and glanced at Bowen who gestured with his hand to say he didn’t mind so he poured 3 glasses and Hannah sat down at the seat next to him. Ari sat back in his chair, his arm casually draping over the high back of hers, her hand dropping to his thigh, fingers curling around the curve of the muscle, gently squeezing. He was tense, she could feel it. She softly rubbed his skin and his hand moved slightly in response, the pads of his fingers began tracing random shapes on the top of her arm.

“State's sent cargo planes for us, ready to evac in the event things take a turn for the worse. Oh. -And this refugee crisis, it's... it's really not helping.” Bowen shook his head as he looked at Ari, then Hanna, who met him with a blank look.

“Refugee crisis?” Hannah frowned.

“Yeah, you have entire refugee neighbourhoods just disappearing.” Bowen gestured with his hands “Into thin air.” “And that’s bad?” Hannah’s voice was puzzled. “Refugees are normally viewed as a burden, I’m not following.”

Clever girl… Ari looked down at the table, scratching his head

“The UN offers a stipend to the Sudanese for every refugee they house, so when people start to disappear that's just...  bad for business.” Bowen finished matter of factly.

At his blasé tone, Hannah felt herself growing a little angry at the way he was talking about real life people. Her people more specifically, as if they were nothing but commodities to be traded.

“Well…” Ari cut in, “The only crisis we face is whether or not we catch fresh lobster.” The three of them laughed as Ari shook his head. “Just kidding.”

“Well, I just got back from Gedaref, where the Mukhabarat had executed another 30 people.” Walton Bowen deadpanned and instantly the mood around the table changed. Cold washed over Hannah and besides her Ari shifted ever so slightly in his seat, the smile slipping from his face. “This is quite serious.2

Ari inhaled deeply and raised his eyebrows, he was done. They had a mission to prep for, and now more than ever he had to make sure that it was a success especially as his prediction seemed to be coming true- the net was closing in on them now and who knows how long they had. “I'd like to stay and chat, but I gotta get back to work.” He spoke, looking at Bowen.

“Yes, we have dinner to do and some night diving to prepare.” Hannah added.

“Sure. Okay.” Bowen nodded as the two of them stood up “Enjoy the...” he waved at the food on the table with his other hand as they both walked towards the exit, but Walton said something else that stopped them both in their tracks.

“Kabede Bimro, right?”

Ari glanced at Hannah, the pair of them hastily covering their shock with what they hoped looked like a confused glance and Ari shot a look at Bowen “Excuse me?”

“Hmm? Oh I just think it's such a funny name. Kabede.” The man shrugged.

“Yeah…” Ari made a face as if he found the whole thing baffling, before he turned back, his hand dropping to Hannah’s back but before they could move Bowen spoke again.

“And what about Ethan Navon…”

Hannah gave a little start. It was slight, an almost imperceptible slip, but a slip none the less. She swallowed, recovering, and turned to look at Ari, frowning.

“Guy, do you know what he’s talking about?” she asked.

Ari shook his head “Not a clue Firefly” he used her nickname in the hope it would calm her, and also to play the whole situation as naturally as he could. He looked at Bowen “I really have no idea who these people you’re talking about are, should I?”

“You tell me”

“I wish I could.” Ari gave a chuckle, shaking his head again, and giving Bowen a look that he hoped made the man believe that Ari thought he was crazy.

“You know, Mr Bowen…” Hannah spoke again “It’s getting late and it can get dark out there pretty quickly. If you’d like a room for the night we can fix it.”

“Not necessary, but I wouldn’t mind a look round.” Bowen shrugged “Maybe I’ll come stay sometime in the future, that is if I’m still in the Country, of course.”

“Go ahead” Ari nodded “Just shout if you need us.”

At that the pair of them made their way as calmly as possible from the dining room and into the kitchen, where the rest of the team was congregated. “What's the CIA doing here?” Sammy asked, “What did he want?”

“I don't know.” Ari ran his hand over his beard.

“He mentioned Dad, Sammy. Hannah looked at him.”

“I heard” Sammy nodded.

“I think he was trying to warn us.” Hannah shrugged.

“Fuck! He knows about Kabede.” Jake slapped his palm on the side behind him and Ari stood up tall, looking through the doorway at Bowen before he turned back.

“We gotta go.”

“No, this is just so fucking stupid.” Sammy shook his head “Tell Kabede it's too dangerous. We'll pick it up in two weeks when we have a chance to assess the threat.”

“We have 200 people—“ Ari began to protest but he was cut off by Sammy

“Yeah, and we'll have 200 people less if we fuck it up.” He hissed.

“For fuck's sake, Sammy, will you just trust me for once?”

“Well, if we're doing this, we need to leave now.” Hannah spoke, looking around “So what's it gonna be?”

Max, who hadn’t spoken a word since Ari and Hannah had joined them, swallowed the sandwich he had been eating and wiped his hands on his shorts “We go.”

“That simple?” Sammy looked at him and Max turned to Sammy, fixing him with a stare.

“Yeah, that simple.”

***** Chapter 13

[ankewehner]

Livetweet of accidentally getting into fairyland...

Best twitter thread ever?

https://twitter.com/NeolithicSheep/status/1330548523721515013 Shepherd: Oh hey Ursula, do you have the number for those people who take out invasive plants still?

Ursula: Probably somewhere, yeah. They said they didn’t usually work on such small properties, though, and I don’t know if I’ve got an infestation worth their time.

Shepherd: Ok but what if I say "kudzu" to you, can we throw enough money at them to make it worth their time.

Ursula: If you say “kudzu” to me, I will panic, scream, and come running to Dogskull with a flamethrower.

Shepherd: Ok well I suggest driving but maybe pack up the flamethrower. Ursula: OH MY GOD YOU FOUND KUDZU OH GOD WHERE IS IT ARE YOU SURE IT ISN’T JUST WILD GRAPE

Shepherd: YES I KNOW WHAT WILD GRAPE LOOKS LIKE THANK YOU anyway I was walking Beamer this morning after the deer ate breakfast and the white deer was walking down toward the back of the property, you know that low tucked away part? And I thought, well, we'll just trail after her at a polite distance and if I'm lucky I'll find some of her fur caught on a bush! Wouldn't that be great! So we kept going past the big ass fucking oak trees that make, like, that weird arch? And there's kudzu.

Ursula: What big oak trees?! There’s no big oak trees back there! It’s all pine!

Shepherd: Yeah you know, the two really big motherfuckers that look like English oak. They're like, way the fuck back there.

Ursula: There are no English oak on Dogskull. Are you sure you weren’t trespassing on the Freemason’s property?

Shepherd: No they're closer to the front I think? Who's next door to them? Also I thought Dog Skull was 7 acres? Because I should be off it and hitting the road by now.

Ursula: Next door to them is the people with the trailer on its side. Do you see any trailers lying on their sides?

Shepherd: A lot of oak trees, a little bit of kudzu, zero trailers in any orientation. Some birds and squirrels. Oh hey Beamer found a nice pond.

Ursula: Okay, this is important. Do the oak trees still have leaves on them?

Shepherd: Yeah but so does the one up front. Oh wait. These are, uh, still green. Like summer green.

Ursula: Right. Okay. This could be a problem. Give me a couple minutes, we have to take trash to the dump and then I’ll look some stuff up. Meanwhile, DON’T EAT ANYTHING.

Shepherd: You mean in case it's poisonous, right? Like THEORETICALLY if I didn't see this tweet until just now and HYPOTHETICALLY I found an apple tree and ate an apple, that would be fine?

Ursula: ...that would not be fine.

Shepherd: Beamer didn't want any, which was weird I thought.

Ursula: INDUCE VOMITING! INDUCE VOMITING!

Shepherd: He didn't eat anything! I'm not going to gag my dog for not eating an apple!

Ursula: Not the dog! Induce vomiting in yourself! Every chunk of that apple needs to come out before you digest it!

Shepherd: FINE. I have puked it up. It was a really good apple, too.

Ursula: Oh thank god. Whew. Okay. The alternative was that you were gonna need a cold iron enema and I wasn’t sure how to do that on short notice.

Shepherd: Oh hey fun fact, "cold iron" is just, like, iron. It's not a special kind or anything!

Ursula: Do you have any on you right now? Beamer’s collar or tags or anything?

Shepherd: Collar hardware is all aluminum these days, otherwise it rusts. Let me pat down my pockets. Syringe of dewormer? Is that helpful?

Shepherd: Anyway I don't want to alarm you but uh. I can't find the trail I followed? So you and Kevin will need to go over tonight and give the boys [i.e. oxen] a hay bale and the goats and sheep two.

Ursula: No! I am scared of cows! We have to get you out of there! Look, I have a bunch of Llewelyn books from my teenage pagan days. I’m sure Scott Cunningham or Silver Ravenwolf covered this somewhere.

Shepherd: Scott Cunningham seems like a really drastic measure just because you're afraid of some cows. But sooner or later I'm going to run out of cigarettes so sure, why not. Oh!! The boys' bow pins are in my pocket, I was going to sand them today and oil them! They're very definitely iron!

Ursula: That’s good! That’s very good! If anyone tries to talk to you, keep hold of those! Now let’s see...do you consider yourself a “solitary practitioner?”

Shepherd: Ursula I'm an ornamental hermit, you don't get much more solitary. Also so far the only person who tried to talk to me was a frog.

Ursula: ...what did the frog say?

Shepherd: "SMOKING KILLS." I tossed it back in the pond.

Ursula: *rubs forehead*

Shepherd: Fucking frogs are all alike, I'm telling you.

Ursula: I really wish these authors had spent less time on “why Wicca isn’t Satanism” and more time on “what to do when you’ve strayed into the fae realms.” I mean, I understand it was the political climate of the time...

Shepherd: I feel like nobody really covers that last one anymore. You have 4 hours until the cows want dinner.

Ursula: Silver Ravenwolf suggests making your magical working space more inviting with stencils? These books spend a surprising amount of time on interior decorating as a vital part of ritual magick. I never noticed that when I was fifteen.

Shepherd: Yeah me neither honestly. It's remarkably unhelpful when you're stuck in faerie and your collie is getting bored. Shepherd: So you want me to... Build a magical working space and stencil it?

Ursula: I can’t actually see how that would help matters. Maybe I should check the Foxfire books instead.

Shepherd: I... Don't remember them having anything relevant, but I might be wrong?

Ursula: They have everything. Ooh, this one is about how to scald the bristles off a hog!

Shepherd: A) I already know how to do that and B) I do not have a hog, sufficient firewood, or a hog scrubbing brush here. FOCUS, URSULA. FOCUS.

Ursula: Sorry, the ADHD meds haven’t kicked in yet today...uh...let’s see...avoid whippoorwills, if you see any?

Shepherd: I do that already, otherwise they steal your toenails.

Ursula: If you harvest apples, leave one on the tree or it attracts the Devil.

Shepherd: You told me not to eat the apples! Am I allowed to eat the apples now??

Ursula: No! These are hypothetical apples! NO EATING! I tried to look up deer in the Foxfire books and there’s a story about somebody’s grandpa wrestling a buck in a mill dam and drowning it, but I don’t see the relevance here. I mean, Grandpa does sound like a badass, though.

Shepherd: I feel like I shouldn't wrestle deer here. What if I try telling Beamer to find his sheep? 

Ursula: Well, research has hit a small snag. I tried googling for the foxfire books and kudzu, in case there was something about fae kudzu portals, right? But it turns out your Twitter is the third hit. Shep, we may BE the experts.

Shepherd: Uh oh. OK. In that case, you and Kevin go over to Dog Skull. Hitch up Cole and Cannon and take them back to the oak trees. Put a logging chain around one and yell real loud "LET SHEPHERD OUT OR WE START PULLING"

Ursula: Oh hell no! I read tree law Reddit! I know how this ends! Do you want us to get sued by Freemasons?! 

Shepherd: I DON'T THINK THE FREEMASONS ARE THE PROBLEM HERE, URSULA

Ursula: I DON’T TRUST THEM WITH THEIR LITTLE LEVELS AND SHEEPSKINS AND WEIRDLY OCULAR PYRAMIDS Also if you see a pyramid with an eye on it, don’t eat it’s either.

Ursula: Okay. Never mind the Freemasons. I wrote a book about this once, I think. White animals, scary fae, random magic deer. It was set in Finland, so you may need to fashion some umlauts, though.

Shepherd: I've got my chore knife, I can carve so many umlauts. Do I just put them in trees until I get back?

Ursula: First of all, are you wearing pants?

Shepherd: YES I'M WEARING PANTS YOU WEIRDO

Ursula: t’s a legitimate question! I mean, I’m not wearing pants.

Now Shep, this is very important. You have to take off your pants.

Also your shoes, your hoodie, and probably Beamer’s collar.

Shepherd: Ursula. Why are we getting naked.

Ursula: To break the misdirection spell! Put your clothes on backwards!

And possibly inside out? Shit, there’s a bunch of different sources. I don’t know if they have to be inside out, but definitely backwards.

Uh...let’s see...hmm, backwards definitely. Inside out might be for leshy. Leshies? Leshys? What’s the plural form, do you think?

If you happen to see any giggling green hairy dudes, ask them what the plural form of their name is. That’s gonna bug me.

Shepherd: Beamer's collar doesn't have a backwards! I'll turn it inside out. And my clothes backwards and inside out, got it. 

Shepherd: There's just, like, frogs. And squirrels. I can hear music though! There might be a dance party, I could go ask about green hairy dudes?

Ursula: STAY AWAY FROM THE MUSIC unless it’s the Freemasons I guess 

Shepherd: No it's more folk music. The Freemasons play, like, Michael Jackson. 

ANYWAY clothes are backwards and inside out. Beamer's collar is backwards and just to be thorough I tied the rope end of his leash to his collar instead of using the clip, so his leash is backwards too. He's pulling me away from the pond! 

Ursula: Tell him to go find his sheep! 

Shepherd: I have so instructed him! Hopefully there's not, like, the faerie equivalent of really good sheep here. Hey do you want me to grab you an apple 

Ursula: No, they don’t come true from seed, but if you can cut me a decent slightly whippy twig with a few leaves, I might be able to root that sucker. 

Shepherd: ...you want me to pause a collie on a mission while I test the whippiness of twigs?? 

I HEAR MOOING. I SEE PINE TREES. 

Ursula: GO TOWARD THE MOOING

Shepherd: THERE'S THE OLD RUSTED OUT METAL THING! I'm back! On uh the opposite side of the property from the one I left from.

Also there's a goddamned chorus frog calling. 

Ursula: Yeah, they do that.

Ursula: THANK GOD THE KUDZU IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PORTAL

...oh, and you’re back, that’s good too. Very pleased.

Shepherd: Anyway you don't have to feed the boys. Unless you want to?

Ursula: There is no situation where I will WANT to feed your giant-ass death bovines.

Also, what have we learned about following the white doe into the woods?

Shepherd: She knows where the really good apples are? 

Also my boys are tiny!!

Ursula: ...I’m gonna go take a nap.

[let-it-raines]

Nonnie, this is quite possibly one of the funniest prompts I’ve ever received. I actually, legitimately laughed out loud when I read it, and I definitely had to find the original post to read it all. Not gonna lie, I’m totally rooting for that poor girl.

I hope you enjoy this version of such a crazy little tale 😘

on ao3 | here | if that’s more your style

-/-

Her back is absolutely killing her. There are bones in positions they are definitely not supposed to be in, and she has to wonder where the hell David and Mary Margaret got their couch. Emma secretly thinks that when she asked them if she could come stay with them for a few weeks – days, weeks, months, who the hell knows at this point – they got rid of their old couch and replaced it with one that they found on the side of the road that’s full of extra springs and the smallest amount of cushion stuffing on the planet.

David and Mary Margaret are too full of kindness to do something like that, but she knows that if her sister – if she had one obviously – called and said she lost her job and her apartment and needed a place to crash for a little while, she would definitely make the stay as uncomfortable as possible.

If the couch crasher isn’t comfortable, it means they won’t stay as long, right?

It’s July, and she’s been on their couch since the end of April. So much for that theory, obviously. But hey, at least she’s not stuck still living with Neal because if she had to sleep in the same apartment as her cheating douchebag of an ex, there is no guarantee that she wouldn’t murder him in his sleep.

Small blessings and all.

Emma raises her arms above her head and interlaces her hands together, stretching her body out and loosening up her limbs, before she moves her legs and starts running. She’s never been much of a runner. She always thought it was some kind of voluntary torture. Back in Boston, she had a kickboxing gym she went to every day, but there’s not one of those in Storybrooke. There’s one gym here, and it’s got out of date equipment that definitely aren’t cleaned every day. There’s no way she’d ever pay for that when she’s already short on cash to begin with.

So running on the beach it is, even if it makes her calves feel like they are legitimately on fire.

There’s no one on the beach this morning. Sometimes tourists will get here early and mark their space with their chairs and their umbrellas, but today, it’s blissfully empty so that she can run up and down the sand without being bothered. Music blares through her headphones, and it propels her forward every time that she wants to quit. She’s never been one to want to stare at the ocean and soak in its beauty. It’s never calmed her, but now, when her days are spent going between having a bad back, serving drinks to people who don’t know how to tip, and wondering if her life is always going to suck this much, she thinks that the ocean isn’t that bad.

It’s calm and beautiful, and right now, it’s as blue as the…what the fuck?

Emma stops jogging, sand kicking up around her, and her breath escapes her as she squints and looks out onto the ocean past the pier.

Is there…is there someone out there?

About forty, fifty feet out in the water, there’s some kind of floating figure. She can’t really tell from here, but it looks like there’s a man floating on his back, his head tilted backward.

Oh shit.

This area has been full of scuba divers this summer, but they’re usually in groups and only go in the afternoon with some kind of instructor. This guy – or girl, she can’t really tell right now because she doesn’t have her contacts in and can’t see that far away – must have been a dumbass and gone on his own.

Her stomach is heavy, like it’s full of wet sand, and when she looks around, she’s reminded that there’s no one around.

Shit, shit, shit.

This isn’t what she’s trained to do. She’s not even technically trained to do anything. She’s only really ever worked in food service besides her boring as hell office job in Boston, and none of that would have ever prepared her for something like this.

“Oh, what the hell?” Emma mumbles to herself as she pulls her tank top off before tugging her leggings down, kicking them off with her socks and shoes. She drops her phone and her headphones into her shoes. She’s in nothing but a sports bra and a pair of underwear that literally has little animated penises on it from Mary Margaret’s bachelorette party, but that doesn’t really matter when this guy (girl) might be dying.

The water is cold when she first dives in, and salt gets up her nose so that her throat is itching, but she manages to swim out to the water as quickly as possible. Now that she’s closer, she can see that it’s definitely a man, and Emma closes her eyes as she closes the final strides and reaches for him.

When she opens them, he is staring directly at her, blue eyes blown wide in what she can only assume is confusion.

So, he’s not dead. That’s good to know.

“Are you okay?” Emma blurts out, salt water still in her mouth that she hacks up.

The guy nods and slowly removes his regulator and his mask. One eyebrow raises before they both furrow together. “Aye.”

Great. He thinks she’s a lunatic. She probably is.

She just tried to save a man from drowning when he wasn’t actually drowning.

This is all Mary Margaret and David’s fault because they own the most uncomfortable couch in existence, and she obviously is suffering from poor decision making because of a lack of sleep.

“I thought you were dead!” Emma explains as she starts treading water and hopes that a shark doesn’t show up any time soon. That would really be the cherry on top of her day. “But you’re obviously not dead.”

“No, love, I don’t think I am.”

“What’s going on here?”

Emma stops treading and dips under the water before she rises back up and sees another guy floating a few feet away. As she looks around more and more keep popping up, all of them deadly silent, and if she had any air in her lungs right now, she would scream.

What the hell has she just walked…swam into?

And then, when she comes to her senses, she realizes that they’re all laughing at her.

The bunch of assholes.

(She probably deserves their laughter, but she won’t admit to that.)

“Alright, alright,” the non-dead guy says, raising his hand in the air, “leave the lady alone. She is a real savior, okay?” He flashes her a pearly white smile and nods back to the shore. “Do you want to go back and get away from these assholes?”

What she’d like to do right now is drown, but there seems to be none of that going around today.

“Yeah, I would. I don’t need you to take me back though.”

“Good because I’m not going to. I’m simply going to happen to be swimming to the shore at the same time that you do.”

Emma nods and then turns around and starts swimming back. He stays at her heels while his friends whistle out words she’s ignoring behind them, and while Emma considers herself to be in good shape, she is not a swimmer. The adrenaline from her run and from her not-so-daring rescue are wearing off, and she can feel her breathing getting heavier and heavier. Is the shore getting further away? That would be impossible.

“You’re so lucky you weren’t actually dying back there because there was no way I was going to be able to drag your sorry ass back to shore.” He chuckles, and she cuts her eyes back at him. “I’m glad you find this funny.”

“I find this hysterical, love. You need a tug to shore?”

She does, but there’s no way in hell that she’s going to accept that.

“Absolutely not.”

Eventually, after what feels like ages, she steps foot on solid, if sandy, ground, and the early morning air nips at her skin as she emerges from the water. She tries to shake it off while walking toward her clothes, but she knows that there’s no way that she could possibly get her leggings back on.

That would be torture of an entirely different kind.

Holy shit. She’s wearing underwear with cartoon dicks on them.

This day could not get any worse.

Except when she turns around, she sees the guy stripping out of his gear, only the wetsuit left on, and this is the first time she gets a really good luck at him. He’s trim, like he spends a heck of a lot more time swimming than she does, and he’s got dark stubble across his jaw that she imagines would feel fantastic brushing against her skin. His eyes also seem to be bluer now, and she definitely didn’t think that was possible.

Okay, so maybe her day could get worse.

Or a little better.

Then she watches his eyes tail down her body, just for a moment, but it’s long enough that she knows that he’s noticed her unfortunate choice in underwear.

“So, do you go about saving people every morning or is this just a one-time thing?”

“Definitely a one-time thing since all of my effort was apparently useless.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that. That’s the most entertainment me and the boys have had in weeks. I don’t think we’re going to forget about this for a long time.”

Emma nods and bends down to get her tank top. She pulls it over, and it immediately clings to her skin. So much for getting a little coverage. “You lead that boring of a life then? All diving all the time?”

“Lately, yeah.”

“Is that so?”

He shakes his hair out and runs his fingers through his locks, and she is not distracted by that at all.

(She is definitely not thinking about the fact that she hasn’t had sex in several months.)

(She just embarrassed the hell out of herself in front of him, so that shouldn’t even be a though going through her mind.)

(Even if these were normal circumstances, that wouldn’t be a thought that went through her mind this early in the morning.)

“We’re training for diving school for the Navy,” he explains. “We’ve got a few weeks off that we’re spending up here for the incredible diving spots, but then we’ll be in Florida for four months.”

“Well, I hope you won’t need any saving while you’re there.”

“It won’t be you, so I’m not sure that it’d be quite as enjoyable.” Emma rolls her eyes, and she has to try her hardest not to let herself smile. That was a bad line. She will not smile at it. “Killian Jones, by the way. And you are?”

“Emma Swan.” She reaches out to take his hand to shake, but instead, he pulls it up and brushes his lips across the back of her hand, never breaking eye contact.

“It’s nice to meet you, Swan. You wouldn’t happen to know a good spot around here to get a beer, would you?”

Emma looks down at her feet, kicking them in the sand, before she raises her head and smiles. He’s flirting with her. She just embarrassed the hell out of herself, interrupted a military training exercise, and he’s flirting with her.

What’s wrong with him?

“I actually work at the Crab Shack down by the pier. Don’t let the name fool you. There is only a small possibility that you’ll get crabs if you shack up while there.”

Okay, what is wrong with her?

Killian cocks his head to the side and chuckles as a water droplet falls from his hair and streaks down his face. Why is that so distracting? “I’ll see if the boys and I can stop by tonight. You know, to celebrate the woman who saved me.”

“Alright, alright,” Emma laughs, holding her hands up and bowing her head. “I get it. I’m never going to live this down.”

“Not if I have anything to say about it.”

-/-

David and Mary Margaret are both at work when she gets home, so she thankfully doesn’t have to explain her appearance. Her heart is still racing and her clothes are still soaking wet. Her leggings were pretty much impossible to get on, so she walked through the streets of Storybrooke in nothing but sneakers, a tank top, and dick-covered underwear. She takes a shower and tries to wash away the embarrassment of the morning. She never thought that she was one to embarrass easily, but she guesses that was not some kind of normal situation.

Why is she such an idiot?

Is this just a new low point in her life?

She’s not working until after lunch, and while she would usually take this time to clean up around the loft to show her appreciation for David and Mary Margaret for letting her crash here, she doesn’t do that. Instead, she spends a ridiculous amount of time trying to decide what to wear to work, like she’s not going to wear her regular cut-offs and a tank top. That’s exactly what she puts on, and if she decides to add a lacy bralette, well, that’s just because all of her other bras need to be washed.

Eventually, she heads to work, clocks in, and starts helping to serve the few tables and the people at the bar. It’s pretty slow, though, and when there’s only one guy in a booth in the corner, she tells Ruby about her morning.

Considering Ruby literally starts choking from laughing so much, Emma thinks maybe that wasn’t her best idea.

“You were wearing the underwear from Marg’s bachelorette party?”

“It was clean! I have to do laundry!”

“This is the best thing to ever happen to me,” Ruby laughs, leaning forward and resting her face on the countertop before she pops back up with wide eye and a wolfish smirk. “Wait. Did you say that he’s coming here tonight?”

“Mhm.”

“Is that why you have on mascara?”

“I wear makeup sometimes.”

“Rarely.” Ruby places her hands on her hips, and okay, maybe she definitely shouldn’t have told Ruby. She probably wouldn’t have noticed the Navy guys coming in. “Oh, is he cute? Are you going to sleep with him? Is that what’s up with you looking slightly put together. Emma Swan, have you gone and found yourself a man in the most ridiculous way possible?”

“I am not going to sleep with him.” Ruby raises her brows and then winks, and all Emma can do is shake her head. “He’s in the Navy. He’s about to go to Florida for four months and then who knows where? What would even be the point?”

“That sounds like the perfect excuse to sleep with him. There are no strings attached, and I’m sure he knows that too. I mean, you’ve got to get over that douche eventually. Why not do it with a hot guy who is going to leave, no strings attached?”

She’s only known Ruby from when she’s come to visit David, but they’ve managed to be pretty close friends over the last few months. Ruby is fearless and crass, and there’s never anything holding her back. Emma often wishes she was like that.

The girl is right, unfortunately, not that Emma would admit that to her. She would never shut up about it.

“He’s probably not even going to show, Rubes.”

-/-

He shows.

His entire crew doesn’t. It’s just him and two guys named Robin and Will, and they all settle down at a booth, ordering burgers and drinks and taking the piss out of her every time she brings them something. Will is the main culprit, and she’s pretty sure that he’s the one who scared the shit out of her earlier by silently popping up out of nowhere.

It’s weird seeing them all out of their gear and in their civilian clothes. Killian is in a pair of dark jeans that hug his legs – not that she was staring or anything – and a short-sleeved gray t-shirt. A tattoo peaks out underneath his sleeve, and she’s curious as to what it is.

She’s not going to sleep with him, though. That’s not…that’s not happening.

“So, I have to ask,” Ruby says after Emma’s been chatting with them on and off for an hour, “did you manage to get a good look at the panties this girl had on earlier?”

“I’m afraid I didn’t, love,” Killian tells Ruby before looking at Emma and winking.

Oh, she might be in trouble if he’s going to do things like that..

“Really?” Ruby asks, disappointed.

“I’m afraid that I was too busy being thankful to be saved to pay any attention to what my savior was wearing.”

“I call bullshit on that, but whatever. You really missed out too. They were the greatest pair of panties in existence.”

Little by little, the bar fills up with people, mostly tourists, but a few locals come in. Will and Robin start talking with a few guys they happen to know, but Killian comes to sit at the bar across from her where she learns that he’s originally from California but that his dad was in the military growing up and they moved around a lot. His mom was British, and they spent the majority of his early years in England, which explains the slight accent, and he has an older brother who lives in Denmark with his wife. At twenty-four, he’s only three years older than her, and he says that he got a bit of a late start to being in the Navy, messing around too much and not knowing what the hell it is he wanted to do with his life.

Emma gets that more than he could probably ever know. She’s literally sleeping on her brother’s couch and working in a place called the Crab Shack.

They don’t even sell crab most days.

He gives as good as he gets with being teased, and she finds that he’s always quick to give back an insult or a jab whenever one comes from Ruby or from his friends.

Or from her.

It’s easy talking to him, laughing and sharing a drink and some fries, and as the night goes on, it’s even easier to forget that she hasn’t flirted since Neal and that the man smiling across from her was the witness to one of the most embarrassing moments of her life.

Killian kisses her against the wall in the hallway that leads back to the bathrooms and the storage closets. It’s dark, the music from the bar dimmed, and the only thing she can focus on is the warmth of his mouth and the expert sweep of his tongue as chills scatter across her body before warming her everywhere, from her toes to her cheeks but especially in the pit of her belly. She hasn’t been kissed like that in quite some time, if not ever, and getting lost in it is as easy as anything she’s ever done.

She doesn’t sleep with him, though.

She desperately wants to, aches for it really, but he mutters something about being a gentleman, which she protests against, but he reassures her that he is, indeed, always a gentleman.

Making out with her in the hallway of a bar doesn’t really allow that theory to hold up, but she guesses he’s going to play the gentleman card.

He promises he’ll be back, though, asking her if she’s working tomorrow, and when she says yes, he kisses her again and then walks out the door.

-/-

Killian comes back the next day.

And the next.

And the one after that.

And then he asks if he can see her outside of work, take her on a proper date or something, and the only reason Emma says yes is because she knows this is temporary. He’s going to leave soon, so it’s okay for her to get to know him and laugh with him and make out with him in the backseat of her car until her lips are kiss-swollen and every part of her is flushed.

It’s okay for her to get to know how he likes his burgers and what his favorite drink is and that the tattoo on his arm is in honor of his mom who passed away five years ago. She learns more about his brother and his apparently shitty dad, just as she tells him about David who he apparently had some kind of run-in with on his first night in town, and little by little, she starts to know all of these pieces of this man she never should have met.

If she were a romantic, Emma would say that this is like something out of a movie, a summer romance that passes by in montages full of laughter and good times. She’s not a romantic, though. She knows that this is the real world where things don’t work out like that, but even so, the weeks pass by, and when she goes to bed at night, she finds herself thinking of blue eyes and a kind but mischievous smile.

Oh.

Oh, okay. Maybe she’s gotten herself in too deep of waters without knowing the way out, and this time, there’s not going to be some idiot running along the beach who dives out into the ocean to save her.

Despite her thoughts starting to attack her, her heart aching even when she tells it to stop, she continues to see him whenever she can. And a week before he leaves, they manage to find a time when no one is home but the two of them, and while she doesn’t intend for it go that far, once his lips brush across her neck and liquid heat blazes over her skin, there’s no stopping them as they shed their clothes.

“No dick-covered underwear today, love?” Killian whispers against her bare stomach as he kisses her in such a way that her stomach ripples.

“I’m afraid those have been retired.”

“A pity that.”

They don’t talk much for the next few minutes, not more than curses and instructions and repetitive words of pleasure, and as her heart races while Killian drives her absolutely mad with his movements, it also aches, the ticking time bomb she wants liked suddenly something she’s dreading.

She likes him.

Honestly, truly likes him.

He’s kind and funny and has a mouth on him that matches hers in curses and in banter. He asks her about her day and listens to her when she talks, which Neal nearly never did, and while she finds that what’s between them is physical, there’s something more underneath the surface, so damn close to breaking through.

When he leaves, she doesn’t want to say goodbye. She’s never been particularly good at those, but Killian still comes to the bar, sits with her at the counter likes it’s not his last day, and when he has to go, he takes her hand and pulls her outside, the wind whipping around them and the smell of salt permeating the air.

“There’s not a day will go by I won’t think of you.”

Emma nearly makes some kind of sarcastic quip, but instead she leans up on her toes and slowly glides her lips over his, savoring the softness and undeniable warmth of them one last time.

“Good.”

-/-

Emma wakes to a text the next morning.

KJ: So, I have some time off in January. Do you think I could take you to dinner?

ES: I think that could be arranged. I don’t know if I’ll recognize you all bundled up to live through Maine’s winter weather.

KJ: I’ll bring a red rose, just in case.

Emma rolls over on the couch and buries her smile in her pillow.

ES: I am looking forward to it.

-/-

Emma sees Killian for the first time – FaceTime not included – on January third, four months and a week after they said goodbye. He’s standing outside her apartment – one she shares with Ruby, each of them with their own, actual bedrooms – dressed in his Naval dress uniform with a red rose in his hand.

His hair is shorter, his usual stubble a little bit more trimmed, his skin tanned, and even with his uniform, she can see that his shoulders are broader than they were this summer.

“Hi,” Emma whispers. She thought she was yelling it, but it definitely only came out as a whisper. “You’re not supposed to be here until tomorrow.”

He cocks his head to the side, smile bright, and God, she has missed that smile. “Ah, well, you see, I had an opportunity to see the woman I love one day sooner, and there was no way in hell I was going to pass up that opportunity.”

“The woman you love, huh?”

“Aye.” He steps closer, and it takes everything in Emma not to tackle him to the ground. “She’s this fiery lass who is beyond brilliant and witty. And, I’ll have you know, that she is so brave that she’ll dive into the ocean to save a drowning man. Would you happen to know anyone like that?”

Emma rolls her eyes and closes the distance between them. It was once 1,500 miles (she may have looked it up), but that is no longer. And it feels damn good. “I might have an idea where you can find her.”

“Good,” he says, her own word from so long ago echoing back to her, before pressing his lips to hers in a deep, slow kiss that feels like it never stopped.

She has never been so thankful for David’s shitty couch and how it inadvertently led her to this.

[walkerismychoice]

Unwritten - Chapter 3

Book: Platinum

Pairing: M!Raleigh X MC

Rating: This series will contain mature themes. Any necessary warnings will be listed before each chapter, but the overall series rating is 18+

Series Summary: Newly discovered talent Aria Campbell get unknowingly assigned to help write Raleigh Carerra’s latest album and rehabilitate his image in the process.

Summary:  Aria is ready to start writing. Raleigh? Not so much.

Chapter Warning: Hints at excessive drinking/alcohol abuse

Word Count: 1750

Master List

She should really go back out there and try to start writing. They only have six weeks to write enough songs to fill an entire album. Then again, six weeks is kind of a long time. What’s a little bit longer?...

Aria picks up the flip phone from her nightstand. She would just text, because who actually likes to talk on the phone anymore, but texting without a keyboard is hardly worth the effort. Seriously, why do they still make cell phones like this? Her finger hovers over the call button momentarily, and then makes the call.

Several rings go by before Aria hears an agitated voice on the end of the other end of the line. "How many times do I have to tell you to take me off your list? How can my car warranty be expired when I don't even own a car?"

"Shane! Wait, don't hang up," Aria pleads into the phone. "It's me!"

"Aria? What are you-" His angry tone gives way to confusion. "Whose number is this and where are you? Wait, are you doing your writing thing? Tell me who you are writing with - is it Avery Willshire?"

If only, she think to herself, hesitating a moment before replying. "I can't tell you that. It's in my contract. If it were to get out, they'd kill me."

"Who are they, the mob?" Shane chuckles. "How many years have we been friends? You know you can trust me. And besides, I had to sign an NDA to be on your contact list, if you go down. I'm going down with you."

"Well that's reassuring," she answers dryly. Sure Shane's in film school and could be the next big director, but as of right now he's unknown, and Aria's got a lot more to lose. But he's right. They tell each other everything and she knows she can trust him. "Fine. But you can't tell anyone."

"Promise."

Aria inhales sharply. “It's...Raleigh Carrera."

"No fucking way!" Shane practically screams into the phone. "Binge drinking, property destroying, R&B singing Raleigh Carrera? You writing for him is...unexpected."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." She replies dryly.

“Ari, you know what I mean. You're more indie pop, with meaningful lyrics. He sings about getting laid in the club. You've never so much as had a tardy at school, and he's got quite the bad boy reputation.”

"Yes, Shane, I know I'm a boring, wholesome girl from the Midwest.”

“No, no! I just don’t want you to have to sacrifice your integrity. It can’t be easy to make sure your voice is heard with with someone like that.”

“I’m a big girl. I can handle myself,” Aria asserts trying more to convince herself than anyone else. It’s not like she hasn’t feared what Shane has said and more ever since she got here. But she’s determined to fake it until she makes it as they say.

"I know you are. I've seen it in action - like when you dumped that smoothie on Chad's head because he made a comment about your ass."

"Oh my god. I can't believe I didn't get fired for that." Aria laughs genuinely for probably the first time today.

They continue on their path down memory lane until Aria's cheeks hurt from smiling, and she finally says goodbye.

 "Maybe I should just call mom first," she ponders out loud before thinking better of it. Things ended on a high note with Shane, and she doesn't need get all homesick and weepy right now. She supposes it's time to face the music - literally.

Aria peeks in the open doorway across the hall, and Raleigh's room is empty. She checks the main areas downstairs, but all is quiet. Finally she looks out the the beachside picture window to see a human form spread out on the sand.

As she heads out and towards the beach, she makes out a familiar object next to Raleigh and rolls her eyes. Apparently he has no plans to fully sober up before starting to drink again.

His eyes are closed as she approaches, and when she calls out his name, he doesn't stir. She won't shake him awake because that feels a touch too intimate for someone she just met. Especially someone of his status, lying their shirtless in the sand, a sheen of sweat glazing over the tattoos covering his neck and torso. Ugh stop ogling him, she thinks to herself. You hate tattoos and he's an ass. Aria grabs the bottle of rum and jabs him in the side.

"Huh?" Raleigh jolts upright and frantically looks whips his head around until he gets his bearings. "Oh, it's you." He grabs the bottle from her and takes long swig.

"Bacardi straight from the bottle in the middle of the day? Doing your best to live up to the cliché rockstar lifestyle, huh?” She immediately regrets the words and wonders if she went too far.  

He shrugs it off with a laugh and points the bottle at her. "Want some?"

"No." She scrunches her nose and shakes her head. Sipping straight out of the bottle is not her style. Not to mention they're supposed to be working and she prefers to write with a clear head.

"I guess Learning How to Party Like a Rock Star 101 is not part of a music major’s curriculum. You could use some real-world instruction from Professor Carrera." Raleigh teases.

"Haha, very funny.” Wait, how does he know she majored in music? Probably just a lucky guess. "Anyway, I came out here to see if you wanted to get started."

"Nah, I'm good." He takes another pull from the bottle. "I like to write when the mood strikes. If you're so moved though, feel free to whip something up on your own. I really don't give a shit what's on this crap album anymore."

Her blood is boiling now, and she fights a juvenile urge to kick sand in his face and stomp away. "That's not how this works. If they wanted me to just write everything on my own, I could have done so from the comfort of my own home rather than being stuck here with you."

And there it is again - that mischievous twinkle in Raleigh's eye. And before she has much time to worry about what it means, Raleigh's up and scooping her off her feet. He runs towards the water as Aria yells at him to put her down to no avail, and once the water level reaches his knees, a wave hits, sending them toppling under.

Before Aria can get her bearings, she feels Raleigh’s firm grasp pulling her upright. She wipes the seawater from her eyes to see Raleigh standing there with a big shit-eating grin, his hands still bracing her arms to keep her steady. Maybe if she wasn’t so pissed off at his antics she’d notice the slight tingle where her skin was touched by his, but then again she might just attribute that to the chill from the cool water.

She shrugs out of his hold with an exasperated groan. “Why are you such an asshole? I know you don’t want to be here with me, but this wasn’t my idea. You don’t have to take it out on me.”

“Relax, Ice Queen. I’m just trying to thaw you out a bit. We’ll both have a much better time here if you can learn to have fun.”

“Ugh! I’m not..” That remark cuts Aria deep, more than Raleigh could possibly know. “Maybe if you actually agreed to do some work with me, I’d be more in the mood to have some fun.

Raleigh looks her up and down with an undiscernible expression that makes her uneasy before plopping back down on his towel and putting his sunglasses on. “We’ll just have to see about that.”

Fiona looks up from her laptop and spots Raleigh and Aria emerging from the ocean and engaging in what looks to be an intense conversation. The guest house has a spacious wraparound porch with cushy patio furniture. If she’s got to be stuck somewhere on glorified babysitting duty, as if she’s got no other clients and nothing better to do, it’s not a terrible place to be. At least there’s wifi and she can keep working on her projects with other artists on the label.

She’d been skeptical, to put it mildly, when Ellis brought Aria in to discuss working with Raleigh, and based on his initial reaction this morning, she wouldn’t have been surprised if Aria had tried to quit on the spot. Sure Raleigh getting wasted on the beach and throwing his writing partner in the water day one would look bad by anyone else’s standards, but Fiona’s know him a long time. The fact that that he’s engaging at all is a good sign. Maybe that little chat she had with him earlier stuck.

“Looks like things are going as well as can be expected with those two.” Fiona muses aloud. Hank stands and watches attentively, arms folded across his chest. You’d think he was guarding the President with how serious he takes his job. There’s not another human in sight aside from the four of them. He weighs his words before responding. “It seems so, ma’am.”

“Eww, don’t call me ma’am.” Fiona visibly shudders. “We’ve worked together for years now. You can call me Fiona. And anyway, nobody is around. You don’t have to take your job so seriously here. Why don’t you go grab a beer.”

Frank tugs at the knot in his tie. Yes, he’s still wearing his suit and tie - at the beach. “Drinking on the job would be unprofessional, ma-, I mean Fiona.”

"Okay then," she utters under her breath. It says something that self-described workaholic Fiona is the fun one here, but if she's going to make it through this period of time without dying of boredom, getting Frank to loosen up might just be the side-project she needs. Maybe he'll even take his tie off at some point. Fiona looks back to the beach where Raleigh is sunbathing and Aria is nowhere to be seen. "Would it be unprofessional of me to run out there and smack him upside the head?"

"Yes, I believe so," he replies dryly, but Fiona can detect the corners of his mouth curving upward ever so slightly. There might be hope for him yet.

[tokoyamisstuff]

Protector - Bucky x Reader

Synopsis: Your boyfriend Bucky Barnes has his own ways of supporting your musical career.

Warnings: Angst, Violence, Bullying

Words: ~4000

A/N: I think this is a good opportunity to tell you that you can always reach out to me, no matter what. If you guys are experiencing any kind of emotional distress, don't hesitate to text me 24/7!

You are not alone. You are loved. You deserve better!💌

Some mornings, Bucky would feel like a bag of bricks when waking up. Most of the time he’d just laugh it off as being “a hundred year old man, after all.”

And today was no different.

He groaned when he felt the phantom pain kicking in, involuntarily waking him up before the sun even rose. The metal plates in his arm turned as he cracked his bones, trying to get his body to listen to him.

After getting the sand out of his eyes, your boyfriend finally turned around - just to be disappointed when he found your bedplace to be empty again.

He knew exactly where you are.

Well, morning cuddles with you were almost impossible due to the strict training schedule you put upon yourself.

It was kinda sad, since you were the only reason Bucky was able to sleep soundly again, without being interrupted by hellish nightmares. Yet you were already up way earlier than a goddamn elite soldier.

To not disturb you, Bucky would stagger to the bathroom first, taking a shower as he heared the “Moonlight Sonata” echoing through the whole house.

When you were playing, your boyfriend couldn’t help but to at least hum the melody, no matter when. His silent voice turned into a loud whistling as he enjoyed a hot shower, before striding to the kitchen.

His enhanced hearing allowed him to experience music in a whole new way - and goddamn it, the way you produced pure art on this piano was unlike anything he had ever heared.

The pace, the rythm, the fact that you never missed one note let alone emphasize the right tones...

Everything was simply perfection.

Especially the way you gave old classics your own twist. It was admirable to have such talent, he thought.

He used his super-soldier powers to sneak up to you playing way too often, as he did today, leaning to the doorframe which led to the living toom, munching on a cereal bar to reveal himself.

For some reason, you didn’t like him or anyone else to listen to you play, humbly stating that you were still way too bad to have any audience.

And that was the one thing bothering him as he scanned your face: You didn’t seem like you were enjoying it at all.

Quite the opposite, actually. The only thing he could see was a tired, strained musician.

Well, artists were always stressed. They were special persons, after all. It was hard to understand them fully, as they often didn’t even understand themselves.

“Music is the art of self-discovery” you once told him, almost tempting him to learn an instrument himself.

And your music was the most soothing thing that ever graced his ear, so shouldn’t you be enjoying it, too?

Today, you didn’t even seem to notice him, that was just how invested you were in your work.

Well, it wasn’t simply a hobby. It was your dream. And he knew just how hard you were working on it ever since you were a child.

Bucky was eager to support you in any way possible, giving you what you needed and trying not to be all too clingy. You needed space sometimes, no matter how much it pained him.

“Good morning, babycakes” he hummed loving, interrupting your trance. James would put his arms around you from behind, quickly pressing a kiss in your hair. “Up so early again, I see?”

Eventually your stony expression would falter and you gave in to his touch, leaning against his bulky chest as you blinked rapidly between still narrowed eyes. A weak “Hi...” was all that escaped your lips.

“You look tired. How long have you been up?”

Things would only get worse the closer that certain date would come “I’m still not good enough…” you stammered, elbows leaning on the tiles and releasing a horrifying sound. “Far away from acceptable, even…”

You already snapped out of it, forgetting your exhaustion and getting ready to start again - but Bucky would softly grab your wrist, putting his other hand under your chin so you would finally look at him.

“Doll, you know that’s not right. You’re amazing! Everyone says so!”

“What would they know.” You instantly regretting that sentence. He meant your friends, after all. “I-I mean, it’s nice and all, but they aren’t professionals. And Thomas says-”

“Shh.” Bucky began to rub small circles on your back until he got to your stiffened neck, carefully massaging it. Your voice sounded so full of self-hatred that even Bucky had to swallow.

As much as he knew you valued his opinion, Thomas was top notch. Anyone elses opinion meant very little in comparison with the best teacher in New York.

He had trained many of the biggest pianists in the world, and you dreamed so very dearly to become one of them.

Bucky was good at reading people, and he had that feeling from the very beginning: That your teacher was an asshole.

But every time he tried to find out more about your lessons with him you’d completely block his attempts or defend that guy.

“He’s my only chance to become better than myself. And he even planned that gig for me. I owe him!”

James bit his cheek until he felt blood coming- Fuck it. He knew just how important that concert was for you and your career. And he’d be damned if he ruined it by being overly protective.

But it was putting a stroll on his heart, too, seeing you that way even though he thought you to deserve nothing but happiness.  

Since you helped him to accept his past and love himself again - through loving and helping others. Through loving you, to be precize.

And now he was here, helpless at how to assist you in that time of need.

Right now, he didn’t feel like a hero in the slightest.

So he simply shuffled down on the seat next to you, clumsily starting to play a part of “For Elise”.

That whole time through, you wouldn’t move a muscle as you stared at his big hands with an open mouth. It wasn’t really what one would call well played, but it was a surprise nonetheless.

“Where-”

“My parents” he already started explaining, “They were never quite fond of me becoming a soldier. Considering everything that happened, I should’ve probably listened to them.”

He chuckled, shyly and dumbly as he’d always do when he made a joke that dark, and your glare changed into a compassionate one. Buck didn’t like you pitying him, but he knew it was to no avail.

You’d always care about him. And that wasn’t so bad, after all. He was a lucky man.

“Well, they wanted me to learn something else than the way of hurting and killing people. Bringing them joy, you know? Be sophisticated.” He shrugged, then kept on as his fingers ghosted over the tiles, then wandering to your knee to squeeze the flesh of your leg.

“It was great to impress woman, hehe.” You weren’t really fond when he was talking about his time as a womanizer, yet you loved seeing him reminisce in easier, happier times. “I may be a lunk, but I have one or two asses up my sleeve. I never liked playing at all, but now...It’s the only way to feel connected to my parents. My heritage.”

“Darling...” you sniffled, weakly snuggling up to his chest just to feel his fastened heartbeat. When he put his strong arms around you, it was like all the problems of the world couldn’t affect you any more.

You felt safe.

“Never doubt yourself again” he demanded, silently whispering into your ear after an eternity of enjoying this closeness in complete silence.

With him, you were finally able to relax. And it didn’t take you long until your body gave in, falling asleep as he gently stroked your head and covered you in the most tender kisses.

“I love you, Y/N. And I’m very proud of you.”

...

It was already noon when you awokened, much to your surprise in your bed. Seems like Bucky carried you there.

For a moment, a wide smile stretched over your face as you took in his scent that was present in the sheets.

“Fuck!”

Bucky knew what was going on before you even got downstairs.

“I’m way too late!” you yelled at him, running around in only your underwear, carrying a huge pile of clothes and make-up to the bathroom to get ready. “Why didn’t you wake me up?!”

Your boyfriend did nothing but chuckle at how easily irritated you got when you were stressed, then facing the stove again when you locked the bathroom door behind you.

Loud music jammed out of the radio, and before the song was even finished, you took a seat, being all ready. “You cooked?”

“Everything for you, doll.” When he turned around, Buck was wearing a huge ‘Kiss the Cook’-apron, making you almost choke at your drink out of laughter. “Well, if that isn’t a cliché.”

“A man from the 40′s doing the housework is a cliché?” he mocked as he placed your favourite food on the table, gifting you the most heartwarming smile. “Well, I want to help you wherever I can.”

“You’re simply the best!” you told him between munching quickly, “Sorry that we don’t get to spend much time together, lately.”

“I enjoy every minute, doll. Even if I just listen to you play. As long as I fall asleep next to you, I couldn’t be happier.”

God, he was so sweet all the time. It only caused your guilt to skyrocket.

As soon as the concert was over, you would gift him that holiday on Tenerife as you had planned to! Just the two of you, all alone on a romantic trip, sipping drinks at the beach...

You really needed a time off.

“Lost in thoughts again?”

“No. But I need to go now.” You were already standing up after having devoured that lovely prepared meal in record time, putting on your boots and jacket.

“Doll, you know I can simply drop you out the-”

“Never!” you blurted out, then quite embarassed getting a hold of yourself. “I-I mean it’s fine. You have other things to do, right?”

Of course he had not. It wasn’t even a fifteen minute ride from here. But he didn’t want to pry, so he just sat there with crossed arms, sighing deeply.

“Fine. But I get my goodbye-kiss, right?”

Racing towards him to peck his whole face, hoping it would suffer for the time you were away, you murmured “Love you” and rushed out of the door as quickly as always, leaving the love of your life alone with all of his worries.

Little did you know that the master spy had a plan of his own:

Today, he was gonna find out.

...

“Can’t you do anything fucking right?!”

You flinched at Thomas words, but kept on playing the best you knew how. He dramatically threw his hands into the air, cussing under his breath.

It hadn’t even be three minutes until his first outburst, even though you only played “Flight of the Bumblebee” as a warmup - and in a pace that would even make the composer envious.

But after so many months training, you were already quite used to his ragefits.

“You play this as slow as a snail, for fucks sake!” he added, only making you more nervous with every step he came closer.

“Did I allow you to stop?!” your teacher yelled, slamming his balled fists onto the wooden piano. “Can’t you even do the basics? God…”

You quickly rubbed your face and started all over, wondering why he took you as apprentice in the first place.

If you were that bad, why would he make you play in front of a great audience this Saturday?

But well, you were just too kind-hearted and naive. You thought this was just his method of motivating his pupils to become even better.

“You look terrible. Aren’t you embarassed?! How can I present you to my colleagues if you look like a homeless? Shit!”

He was kinda right. You took the firs things in your wardrobe so you wouldn’t get too late. Thomas hated it, and you were afraid of the punishment And then the messy hair and dark rings under your eyes...

“I’m just a litte sleep deprived” you explained calmly. “I trained the whole night, so-”

Thomas bursting laughter interrupted you, and he’d even wipe a tear out of his face while doing so. “You trained yourself?”

His voice became more grim now, and he got so close that the stinging smell of his aftershave tainted your nose. “Do you think you can train on your own? You’re nothing without me! Get that in your head!”

Your eyes widened with fear when he opened your bag, puling out some scribbles. “And this! Don’t think I didn’t notice you were composing on your own.”

“Plea-” The words dissolved into nothing but a whimper when you saw Thomas ripping apart all of your attempts, everything you’ve worked so proudly on. And he didn’t even read or listened to them...

“You think you’re some hot shit, huh? I told you to stick to the fucking notes! No one wants to hear your version to old classics of the greatest!”

Pressing himself against the piano, he said “I heard you even have a boyfriend. What poor being has to spend his time with you? Or is he a freak, like you?”

Right now, the image of Bucky in your head was the only thing that kept you sane.

“Yeah” you sniffled, even managing to crack a smile when you remembered how uplifting and supportive he was all this time. “He is a freak. The best kind of.”

A loud noise snapped you out of it.

It took you a while to realize what had just happened, but the burning sensation on your cheek, heat rising in the skin told the whole story.

Thomas had slapped you.

“Get that stupid grin out of your face!” He wouldn’t even apologize. It never stopped, wouldn’t it? And you were too weak to fight back, the only thing you were able to do was holding back the tears who were already collecting in the rim of your eyes. “We’re not in kindergarden! Get yourself together!”

"Stop. It. Right. Now…” a menacing but familiar voice called out from the back.

Oh no.

It was Bucky.

“Babe!” you blurted out, running right to him as he was nearing your teacher with firm steps. “H-how much di-did you hear?”

“Enough” he muttered under heavy breaths, shooting an icy glare to Thomas who was still ranting on about how your boyfriend got in here and starting to insult both of you.

His mechanical arm was well hidden under his fabric, yet even if he wasn’t the Winter Soldier anymore, you could feel how he air around him had changed.

This was dangerous.

You needed to de-escaalate this situation - otherwise there’d be a disaster.

“Please.”

Your voice was more than enough to calm him down. But he didn’t understand why you would still protect this cheap excuse of a man.

His eyes wandered down to your shivering from, grabbing on his shirt and whispering “You promised me...Never again.”

Bucky gnarled his teeth, still clenching and unclenching his fists, thinking about how he wouldn’t even need weapons to give that guy what he deserved.

But he couldn’t do this to you.

If that was your wish, it’d be his command.

“Let’s just go home, okay?” You cupped his cheeks in your hands, softly brushing his lips with yours to make him calm down. “Don’t become a monster again. Not because of me. I couldn’t live with that.”

Those words really hit his heart like a bullet never could.

“Allright.” His voice was still dark and gruffed, almost as if he was about to cry at any moment.

He gulped harshly, to remove the lump out of his throat, squeezing your small hand way too hard when the two of you turned around and left - but it was alright. You could bear with it.

Thomas had no idea what kind of wrath he just put on himself, neither what had happened just now. Yet it was in his nature to say more than good for him, so he kept on pouring oil in the fire.

“Yeah, and you never need to come back here, you maniacs!”

One last time, without you noticing because you were too busy crying, Bucky turned around to look at your teacher. And the look in his eyes told him everything he needed to know, pulling shivers down his spine.

This wasn’t over. The last word had not yet been spoken.

…

After the two of you made your way home, you would finally tell him the whole story: About the bullying, the abuse - the violence.

And Bucky felt like the worst partner that had ever been.

How could he not have noticed?

No - it was way worse than that.

He did notice. He knew the entire time, yet he turned a blind eye to the situation at hand.

Why hasn’t he tried to find out?

It was so obvious now. All of your reactions, the excuses. The bruises on your body, telling him you had tripped.

How you cried yourself to sleep sometimes, telling him it was just the stress.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. So sorry...” Tears pattered down his face as he watched your sleeping form, covering you in the blanket.

One last time, he would brush your cheek, placing a kiss on the very same spot before he disappeared.

Because he had a mission that couldn’t be delayed.

It wasn’t all that late, but already dark, due to it being winter. And Bucky couldn’t help to remember how often you ‘forgot your jacket’ after your lessons, walking home in the freezing cold. Was that another one of his punishments?

That man would have to suffer. He’d finish him, take him down for good, he-

No. He promised you: No crimes, no murder - and as tempting as it was, no torture either.

The way to Thomas music school wasn’t that long, but Bucky sure took his time, kicking every stone while pondering just how he could make that bastard pay for what he had done to you.

Not once it came to his mind that you could’ve cheated on him, yet he always wondered why you wouldn’t take him to those piano lessons.

Now he knew, and it was hard to bear with it.

Because you were experiencing horrifying things this whole time, while he was enjoying himself in the safety of your shared home.

That was inexcusable, for him as weil as for Thomas.

Meanwhile, Thomas was the last one in the building, having carefully put together the ripped pages.

“Incredible. Magnificent!” he was talking to himself, playing some of the notes you had written. “One masterpiece after another. If I lable them as my own, that’ll be my second breakthrough after so many years of not producing anything!”

Bucky huffed. It was obvious that your teacher was just envious of you already being more talented than he ever was.

“That stupid bitch is so easily to control. I’ll-”

At that very second, Thomas felt a blade being pressed to his neck, already cutting the first, thin skin layer. He was standing in front of a giant mirror, making him able to see his own blood slowly dripping down his skin.

He began to hyperventilate, trying to grab the arms of his attacker - but to no avail.

While Thomas was struggling, James could see himself in the mirror. It was the first time in years hat he was fully geared, even wearing his muffle again.

You were right. The person in the mirror wasn’t him.

Yet it was a part of him. His dark side.

And he could control it. To do the right thing.

“Move, and I will kill you. Make a sound, and I will kill you. Try to fight or fool me, and I will kill you.”

Oh, he could basically see how that man was almost pissing himself, and he had to keep himself from laughing about it. Yet he kept a straight face, seeing how Thomas listened to every of his commands.

All of a sudden, it was all quiet. Thomas wouldn’t even flinch or cry.

“If you understood what I just said, slowly close your eyes.” And so he did, sweating heavily.

“Not all that mighty now, huh? Do you know who I am? If you do, open them again.”

Thomas was a piece of shit, obviously, but he wasn’t stupid. So he wouldn’t do anything.

“Good” Bucky grumbled, balling a fist in the mans hair. “Since you have no idea just what I am. Now listen: You’ve never seen me. You won’t go to he police. You won’t talk about this at all. No one can help you.”

“Wh-what do you-” Smack. One of his teeth flew as soon as Buckys metal backhand hit his cheek.

“I didn’t allow you to speak, pig. I wanted to wipe that obnoxious grin out of your face, you trash. Or should I cut off your hands, so you can never play again?”

His blade was gliding over Thomas body, leaving marks everywhere. “I should make you as ugly on the outside as you are inside...” He wanted to scream in pure terror, but his survival instinct kicked in, telling him to stay silent. Yet his heart was racing so loudly against his chest that it could be heared from afar.

“Anyway: I promise you, I’ll find you anywhere on this world and make you wish you were dead. Not even god will help you, then.”

Bucky threw the whimpering man to the ground, slamming his combat boot just an inch away from his face, leaving that man a shaking and screaming mess.

“Never show your filthy face to us ever again.”

...

It was the night of your concert, and you were as nervous as never before.

Ever since that day, Thomas had disappeared into nothingness, but Bucky assured you that he was alive. You just knew he had something to do with this - but you trusted him.

He was your protector, after all. And you were already feeling guilty enough for not telling him. It took you forever to convince him that he had done nothing wrong.

Just your luck that the descendants of Buckys old piano teacher were still leading that school, welcoming you with open arms.

Finally, your passion for music was enjoyable again. Life was so much easier after you had opened up to Bucky. Something like that would never happen ever again.

“I am so proud of you, Y/N.”

His words gave you strength and confidence. And when the curtain dropped, you felt as if you had been born ready.

All of your friends were sitting in the first row, with Bucky already clapping before you even started, a giant pack of roses on his lap to throw in your direction later.

He was simply baffled by the way you looked in that formal wear, beautiful as always. But the most important thing: You finally looked happy again. Relaxed, content with yourself and everything else.

Sitting down in front of that magnificent piano, you felt everyones glares being stuck on your every move. Calmly sipping on a glass of water, you cleared your throat.

“The following song I composed myself.”

Everyone was curious about what song you would’ve chosen for your great debut.

“I wrote it for the most important person in my life.” At that moment, Buckys and your eyes met, and you felt yourself melting at his passion.

That was for him. For everything you’ve gone through and experienced together.

And everything that would happen in the future you shared.

“I love you.”

As you began to play your song, fingers dancing over the tiles, you tried to pour all the love you felt for this man into your music, honoring his very existence and the fact that he came into your life.

He was your muse.

And you meant everything to him.

_______

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[brideofcthulhu10]

YASSSSSSS! Romeo and Juliet is my all-time favorite!

Okay this took all day, so all you guys better love this! This is actually the first part, I will submit the other half in about an hour or two. It really was so massive it needed to be broken into more than one segment. So, after FIVE HOURS of writing, I present for your viewing pleasure

THE TRAGEDY OF MARKO [1/2]

Marko×Fem!Reader

Content Warning! Violence, Gore, Sexual Themes, Offensive Language! Reader's Discretion is Advised!

The idea of being with a human never really sat well with Marko. He wasn't exactly popular with the ladies when he was alive, and now they all just seemed intrigued by his night time allure. Fake the lot of it. Half of them were just going to be a snack anyways, there was no point in getting attached. 

At least until Star made a friend.

Cruising around on the boardwalk was second nature, to the point that he knew the place like the back of his hand. With his hands stuffed in his pockets he trotted behind his friend Paul who was determined to get a good spot. These Santa Carla concerts were okay, but finally the big guns rolled in. For one night only the baddest bastards in Hollywood were coming down to tear it up with the citizens of this manky beach town- Mötley motherfuckin' Crüe! Anyone in their way quickly moved, he was not about to miss it.

 Honestly the notion was pretty cool, Marko understood Paul's over exuberant glee. Of course it started off with the greatest bang he's ever seen. Fireworks, pyrotechnics, his buddy was just geeking out to the extreme. Halfway through Girls, Girls, Girls he spotted a mass of h/c just swinging through the crowd. Every step was so nonchalantly elegant, which was a rare description when it came to a rock concert. But his eyes just zeroed in on them. No, her. She was giggling with Star of all people, he hadn't even realized the little half-er was there with them. He bit at his thumb, pushing away the tumbles of blonde that fell into his face. A solid THUMP to his shoulder alerted him to reality as Paul cheered as loud as he could. 

"THANK YOU SANTA CARLA! AND GOOD NIGHT!"

Had it already been two hours? Marko rapidly shook his head, still floating with each step when Star approached them. Both girls were giggling, panting messes. Y/N. That's what you introduced yourself as.

Paul was praising you for your most excellent head banging skills. When you turned to him he thought his heart might kick up again. 

"Awesome to meet you, gorgeous," he teased with a curling grin. 

Now it was your turn to be flustered. If this was what all California boys were like you could definitely get used to this. Looking for any excuse to talk to him further you blurted out a suggestion to grab something to eat. Star passed, all that heavy grease was too much for her but she wouldn't mind just following along. Marko on the other hand chimed in that it wasn't too much for them. 

Paul watched you two banter back and forth the whole way across the beach and up the steps onto the boardwalk itself. With a casual grin he slumped his arm over Star's shoulder, whispering something low in her ear. 

"Ah, shit you know what? I totally forget we promised Laddie we'd take him on the ferris wheel," he exclaimed, Marko cocking an eyebrow. Since when? Paul wasn't for all those slow rides. He knew his best friend. The guy was an adrenaline junkie, usually that boring stuff was Dwayne or Star's liking. 

"Oh, um we could come with if you want," you suggested, only to have Star wave you off. 

"No, no don't worry about it, Y/N. You two have fun. We'll catch up later."

Before you could get another word in they bolted, leaving you alone with Marko. 

"Still hungry," he asked, raising a brow. "Or do you gotta go too?"

"Oh! No, I could still eat." Boy, sheepish wasn't a word you'd use to describe yourself. But something about the way he watched you, it make you feel so nervous. "So uh, Marko right? Have you always lived in Santa Carla?"

"Well, I've been here a while," he casually responded. Talking about his past before turningwas usually a touchy subject. That stuff was best left behind. He wasn't Mark anymore, that guy died long ago. "I guess you could say I've been all over. I used to live in England for a while before I came to America."

"No way, you're so lucky!" You looked down to see you had grabbed his jacket in your excitement, quickly letting go. Whew. Was it getting hot out here or what? "S-sorry, I didn't mean to, um, ya know..."

His snicker was so cute, lightly bumping your arm with his own. "Don't even trip. We all get excited, yeah?" Neon lights made his hair shift colors as you walked through the crowds, stopping at a snack shop that stood out like a sore thumb. It was impossible to miss the big, flashing red sign reading: 

"CHARLIE'S BOARDWALK EMPORIUM"

Photos decorated the base of the blue walls with images of cotton candy, caramel apples, nachos and snow cones over an explosion of popcorn. So many options. On your tip toes you waited in line with him reading each of the prices. Deep fried cola? Chocolate dipped bacon sticks? You scrunched up your nose, settling for a basket of chili cheese curly fries and a soda. 

"Hey put your money away, babes," Marko interjected. "Charlie doesn't charge for cute ones, right bud?" 

He must've been referring to the heavyset Armenian man in a 'kiss the cook' apron, who by the way had no hair net covering the mop top smushed beneath a red baseball cap. All he did was slowly nod, stiffly scooting your order onto the counter. You only ordered a medium, this was massive. "Yes, of course. It's on the house lil' lady," he insisted in a thick accent. It must've been hot in there, he sounded bizarrely out of it. 

"You sure have a way with people," you commented, now wedged on the boardwalk steps leading off onto the sand, splitting the gooey mess with your newfound friend. 

"Nah, you heard him. Cute girls don't pay," he teased. That rosy tiny hadn't left your cheeks since he'd been with you. Hours passed, sharing stories and finding you two had so many common interests. Marko hadn't genuinely laughed like this in a while, and when it became late in the night he offered you a second chance to hang out. Since then you came visiting every night. 

The moment you showed up he felt a breath of air. It didn't take Marko long to introduce you to the boys. The big one with a lack of shirt was Dwayne, you still remembered Paul and Star from that night on the beach. Then there was David. You weren't so sure he liked you. The most he gave you was a disinterested wave, but Marko insisted he was always like that. Eventually he'd have to leave around 10 pm, apologizing profusely. 

"Wish I could stay baby, but we got some ridin' to do. Same time tomorrow," he asked, holding your hands in his. 

"Y-yeah of course. Oh! Wait wait hold on," you insisted, quickly digging through your pockets. Where was it? Ah! "Here, I got you this." 

Nestled in the palm of your hand was a silver scorpion etched on a black coin dangling off a chain. "I remember you said you wanted to get a new earring a few days ago"

"Babe thats awesome!" His gloved fingers plucked the piece, swapping his little skull out for it before modeling it in front of you. "Think you can hold onto mine for a while? I bet it'd look cute on you."

It wasn't hard to sense David growing impatient with you delaying their leave. Maybe because he told you two to hurry up. Right. "Gotta ride, baby." Before he left Marko stole a fast kiss from your cheek, riding away in a flash leaving you frozen. Slowly you opened your palm. The little black carved skull rolled over, looking right at you. Steeling your resolve you took it right by the silver hook and pushed it against your earlobe. The skin resisted, a sharp burn pressing harder until it popped into place. A little blood was fine, you'd be healed by morning. But now there was a whole lot of nothin' to do. Star was at their little hideout, you'd only really seen it once before and didn't have the stones to go there without the boys' permission. Tonight you saw that brown haired guy with them again. Some new guy who just came to Santa Carla named… Oh god what was it? Mitchell? Manny? Milo? Something "Mi"... mmm...mmm-M-Michael! Yes, that's who it was! He was so much more intense and jumpy that the others, but you always got the impression he was a bit... er, lost. He always either had this confused or angry look on his face.

With nothing better to do, you spent the night aimlessly wandering through the coastal shorelines, your feet sweeping over cold, damp sand as you followed hills. You couldn't stop thinking about the jumpy newbie who seemed particularly aggressive. He always gave David dirty looks, but Marko wouldn't tell her who he was. 

"Just a guy Star met, babes. Don't worry too much about him, he's just gotta mellow out before he joins us."

You'd walked so far you hadn't even realized there were people up ahead blasting Aerosmith on their boombox, jumping around a crude bonfire like a pack of wild men. 

Ugh, Surf Nazis. Pain in the ass California boneheads who practically dominated the waves and the boardwalk. You were ready to turn the other way when a stream of light flew by, one after the other. Five each. Hey, you knew those motorcycles! Ducking down by the dunes you watched Marko swing his leg over the seat, dashing up to a looming tree overlooking the bonfire mosh pit with Paul, Dwayne and David. Michael was there too? You wiggled lower, cautiously staying out of sight just close enough to hear them over the music. 

"Initiations over, Michael," David hissed with glee. "Time to join the club!" 

Club? Like a biker club or something? Squinting at the tree you nearly feel backward when the image cleared beneath the harsh orange glow. Their ey-e-eyes! They-they were blood red- white even! The way they snickered and laughed sent a blood curdling chill down your back. Marko… that sweet, alluring smile was now twisted into a hideous smirk boasting sharp, pointed teeth mocking the brunette beneath him who shared a similar look of horror. In a flash they fle- THEY FLEW! 

Rapidly you ducked down, clutching at your heart. It was beating so fast you thought your ribs were going to break. And then the screams.. those awful, sickening screams! You had to cover your mouth not to cry out in horror as David lodged his teeth into a man's skull. Dwayne howled with delight, tearing another guy in half. They were painted red. Every where, every thing, red. 

You almost missed Marko as he snapped their neck, peeling back scalp with ease to devour the wrinkled flesh beneath their skull. Then you couldn't see anymore, it was all tears. They showed no regret, no mercy. Instead they reveled in their kills, throwing the last of the limbs into a flaming inferno like some sort of hellish bonfire. 

Bile flooded your esophagus, tearing your hand away to empty your stomach onto the sands beneath you. You nearly cried out, startled when David spoke again to Michael. 

"Now you know what we are… and now you know what you are."

What they were? 

"You'll never grow old. And you'll never die. But you must feed."

David's voice cut the air like a knife. Your whole body was frigid. For a moment it almost felt like he was speaking to you. Then you remembered the earring still wedged in place, your fingers clawing it out in a frenzy. Dammit! It ripped again a thin stream of blood dripping onto your neck as you threw it on the sand. 

Meanwhile Marko watched that coward Michael bolt off screaming. What a wuss. So a few people had to die, not a bad price for eternal youth, dude. He could only laugh at this point, smearing the blood off his mouth. That was a good meal…

"Hey did we miss one," he asked, sniffing the air. There was always a distinct taste and scent between fresh, and old blood. By now whatever was left was either staining them, the ground, or being burnt.  He gnawed on a finger bone, looking Paul's way. Might as well hang for a while, they had to make sure the pieces were nice and burnt to a crisp. 

"Nah man, they're all barbecue. I getcha though." Yeah he smelled it too. Those assholes were dead shit, fresh blood shouldn't still be in the air. It was undeniable, and soon all of them could smell it

 "Its still nearby."

Oh god, they smelled you! Stumbling over sand, you tripped over your own feet and spiraled down to the base of the dunes. Marko was the first to step out. He almost missed the bloody scent, most of it was moving away. The sands still shuddered to adjust to the missing weight, a few foot prints pushed away by sand and wind. But then a tiny… something tapped his boot. Kneeling down, still caked with a familiar scent of fresh blood...it was his earring? Now he could smell it more clearly. Your scent was all over these sands. His heart dropped, realizing why this was on the ground. "Ah shit," he groaned, clasping it tightly in his hand.

×××××

The front door of your home swung as you tore it open. Locks fumbled shut and you immediately made a mad dash for your room. Your mom and dad had gone to the next town over, so it was just you and your dog D/N tonight. Absolutely the worst possible scenario to be in when you discover your boyfriend of the past few months was a murderous psychopath who ate people! 

Your heart beat echoed throughout the whole room, you thought you might even faint. Pacing back and forth you tried wiping your hands on your skirt like a madman. It just wouldn't come off! All you could see was red. Just red everywhere. Bloody splattered stained your eyes in shades of crimson. On your hands, your clothes, on the walls, in the air, on… Marko...

Covering your mouth did little to stifle the whimpering, sharp sobs that made your lungs spasm. Marko. Oh Marko.

You'd never seen such cruel delight plastered over his sweet face. Beautiful blonde locks were caked in fresh blood, he was even laughing the whole time. He enjoyed it. Revelled even, in the carnage. 

Stumbling over discarded clothes you shut off your lamp, rapidly kicking them away. Naked, trembling you ran into your bathroom. You had to wash it off! It felt like an hour had gone by in the blink of an eye. All you could do was sob under the streams of hot water. Knees to your chest, clutching them close. Maybe if you just stayed there you wouldn't have to face the reality of what you saw.

You were afraid to blink. Every time you did, there his eyes were. Those cold, unyielding white eyes that glowed perfectly in the dark. You stayed planted until the water finally ran frigid. Once your fingers started trembling and your lips went blue you had no other choice but to get out. 

Without another word you threw on the nearest clean shirt, a pair of pajama shorts and collapsed onto your bed. Everything you thought he was, was now up in the air. Now you questioned every motive, every kind gesture. That kiss tonight.. He could have been luring you. Maybe he was planning on killing you too. It was enough to bring all the tears back, sobbing into your pillow in the dark until sleep cradled your miserable form.

The next time you opened your eyes, D/N was in a frenzy. Barking over and over. Still groggy you lazily snatched your alarm clock. 2:15 am?? Seriously, D/N? Ugh, bad dog. Probably saw a squirrel or something.

"Y/N!"

Immediately you were snapped wide awake. The fog of slumber was blown away in an instant. For a solid minute you remained utterly still. You didn't even dare to breathe. 

It was clear, firm, just outside. Every tick on your clock echoed softly, you almost thought you misheard. 

"Y/N please, I can hear your heart. I know you're up there!"

Oh god. Holy hell he found you. Running to your window you felt your heart in your ears. It was so loud, you slowly inched your fingers towards the closed curtains. This was almost out of body. You could feel every step you made. Marko's presence grew stronger as you near the window. Clenching the dusty fabric, you tempted yourself to peek every so slightly. Then you screamed bloody murder. Face to face, a pair of bright blue eyes cut through the night looking right at you. 

HE. WAS ON. THE ROOF!

Immediately you shut the curtains! Wait! The lock! Pushing them open you immediately twisted it shut just before he could pry it up. 

"Babe please, I can explain!"

"Explain nothing, I am not listening to anything you have to say," you screamed. When he began to move you ran to the other window and locked it as well. He banged his forehead against the glass, still trying to wrench it up. Damn these old houses! The frame had a silver lining! Immediately he tore his fingers away, pressing against the glass. "Y/N, baby girl, come on please let me in!" 

It was so hard to look away. "No! I'm not even gonna look at you," you insisted, shutting the blinds. Cute girls eat free? Ha! He probably hypnotized the cashier! Oh god. When he spoke this time you plugged your ears. "I'm not listening! MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB, LITTLE LAMB!"

A sharp huff of air pushed out of Marko's nostrils. This was ridiculous! "You are being such a brat! Just let me in, dammit!"

Nope. More stupid singing. Fine. If you were gonna be stubborn, so was he. 

Flying downward he searched for any easy way in. The front door was locked, the upstairs bathroom, the master bedroom, the back yard do- not this one. Slowly the golden knob twisted, rattled, then squeaked open.

Oh boy, now there was a dog! 

"Fuck me," Marko groaned, hands in the air with utter exasperation. Of course you had a dog! Why not! Got any holy water too? The big ball of fluff continued to snarl at him. Rolling his eyes, Marko flared his fangs which promptly silenced the snarling muty. "I don't have time for you!" 

THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD. 

Rapid steps dashed down the stairs where Y/N then skidded to a halt. 

You had heard D/N wildly barking, your only plan was to drag him upstairs with you where it was safe. However, once you stepped in the room you could see him standing there in the dark, a silhouette circled by a thin layer of moonlight. His eyes were glowing bright red. 

You felt like a deer in headlights. You couldn't budge an inch. A complete Mexican standoff. Both of you were staring at each other. 

Marko watched you for any movement, any at all. Then you flinched. "Y/N," he said as he slowly reached out- and you ran.  "Wait!" 

You scrambled back up the stairs towards your room, almost looking back. Shit he was fast! You screamed the whole way while he begged, nay, pleaded with you to just hear him out. 

"You killed them! I saw you," you shouted, lunging for your door. It was just a second too slow as you spun between the frame and into your room. A solid hit from the other side nearly knocked you back as Marko crashed into it, trying to force it open. You were barely keeping in place- except you were. Every time he rammed the door your feet were being pushed back.

"I know! I didn't mean for you to find out this way! Babygirl, you gotta believe me I would never hurt you," he insisted. With one firm push he swung the door wide open, sending to flying onto the floor. Already you were jumping over your bed to reach the bathroom, trying to get behind the door where you could lock him out. "Stop!"

With everything he had he bolted forward and finally got a grip on your waist just before you could get through the threshold. He completely lifted you off the floor! You flailing and kicking did nothing except frustrate him, his grip tightening to where you were struggling to breath. "Let me go! Stop it, Marko, you put me down right now! Put me down, put me down!"

"Enough!" Slamming you down on your bed, Marko quickly grabbed you by your wrists and held them above your head, a knee over your legs to keep you from thrashing any further. "Y/N stop it! I'm not gonna hurt you, you know this! You know me!"

"I know you lied to me," you cried, still trying to look away, writhing and twisting beneath him. You weren't gonna be so easily tricked this time. "How can I trust you?! Everything you told me-"

"I never said I was human," he insisted. "Baby look at me. Look at me!" When you wouldn't he kept your wrists tightly gripped beneath his hand and forced you head to turn his way. "Y/n… please, just look."

This time he wasn't angry. Just hurt. The way he tenderly whispered your name made you want to cry, and just ever slightly you peeked open your eyes. His eyes were… watery. You looked into them, the tints of red faded back into the shimmering sky you treasured just hours prior. "Did… did even like me? W-was I just another me-meal to you," you choked out between hiccups.

"No. No, no, baby," he spoke softly, calloused fingertips pushing away your years. "Babygirl. Please, listen to me. I.. would never, ever, hurt you." 

This time it stuck, you could see the sincerity in his eyes.  There was a slow diffuse, and now Marko just sat atop you until he was absolutely sure you wouldn't run. 

Slowly you sat up, looking at him. It got awkward by this point. But you had to know. 

"Marko… what are you," you asked softly. It sounded harsh, but it was impossible to avoid. 

"I guess the easiest thing to call it would be vampire," he sighed, looking down at his hands. 

"So, I guess you're not 17?"

"Well I mean, not anymore. I was, but I haven't been for… a while."

Your brow furrowed, looking over at him. He wasn't upset anymore. Just calm. "How long is a while?" 

Marko seemed physically uncomfortable discussing this. Whatever he had left behind when he turned was something he wanted gone. Slowly you reached over, taking his hand into your own. 

"Y/N, listen. I-"

"You swear you aren't going to hurt me," you asked, looking at him. Marko only gave you a soft smile and leaned forward. You didn't have time to react. Only feeling the tender press of his lips on yours. 

"I'd rather die."

You cupped his cheek, searching his expression for any signs of lying. Not a word. Not a single piece was a lie. You tasted him again. Salt, iron, soft. There were still little traces of blood that tainted his lips. Kisses deepened into dizzying passion. Your shirt was pulled away.

His jacket fell to the floor with a solid thump. You could feel his fingers prying away the shorts wrapped on your waist. He really was dead. You expected him to be warm, but instead it was cold; almost icy. It sent chills over your flesh. 

"You don't have to..," Marko whispered. This was a vulnerable moment. He'd revealed something completely new and frightening.

"I want to," you whimpered. It certainly hurt. All those movies made it look so simple. It pushed in, your whole body tightening until your toes curled. Marko was so tender. To him you were made of glass, he couldn't lose control even for a moment. Wrapping you in his arms he took you away, passing hours away with the most luscious touches he could spare. 

Laying amongst disheveled sheets and bedding he held you tightly to him, glancing over at the clock. 4:57am.

 Sunrise was in an hour. There's no way he could stay. A closet wasn't exactly light-proof, and the boys might come looking for him. "I have to go.." 

The words sunk in your heart. "I know.."

Gently he tilted up your chin, stealing away one last kiss. "Come to the hotel this afternoon. I promise as soon as I wake up I'll tell you everything, okay?"

It was a hard bargain. There was not much else you could do. With one last deep kiss you watched him dive out your window, vanishing into the night. You looked down at your dresser, the earring you discarded now cleanly placed atop it. You'd be sure to wear it this afternoon

[katehuntington]

Title: Ride With Me (part nine) Fandom: Supernatural AU Characters series: Reader, Dean Winchester, Bobby Singer, Ellen Singer-Harvelle, Jo Singer (Harvelle), Benny Lafitte, Ash Miles, Garth Fitzgerald IV, Castiel Novek, and many more. Timeline: 2008 Pairing: Dean x Reader (eventually)  Word count: ±5050 words Summary series: Y/N is a talented horse rider who is on her way to become a professional. In order to convince her father that she deserves the loan needed to start her own farm, she goes to Arizona for six months, to intern at a ranch owned by Bobby and Ellen Singer. Her future is set out, but then she meets a handsome horseman, who goes by the name of Dean Winchester. A heartwarming series about a cowboy who falls for the girl, letting go of the past and the importance of family.  Summary part nine: Everyone deals with the aftermath of the fight differently. Worried about Dean, Y/N goes out to look for him, but doesn’t find the man she got to know in the past weeks. Warnings series: NSFW, 18+ only! Fluff, angst, eventually smut. Swearing, smoking, alcohol intoxication, alcohol abuse. Mutual pining, heartbreak. Crying, nightmares, childhood trauma. Description of animal abuse, domestic violence, mentions of addiction. Financial problems, stress, mental breakdown. Description of blood and injury, hospital scenes, character death, grief. Music: Save Yourself - KALEO (Y/N and Dean scene), Burden - Foy Vance (end scene). Check out ‘Kate Huntington’s Ride With Me playlist’ on Spotify! Author’s note: Thank you @kittenofdoomage and @girl-with-a-fandom-fettishfor helping me. You girls are awesome betas. Thank you for your endless patience!

Ride With Me Masterlist

     The evening has set in completely, a clouded sky obstructing a view of the galaxy above. Normally, a dark blue would stretch out above the ranch, blending into a lighter tone at the horizon in the west where the sun sank down hours ago. But today the sky is black. No moon nor stars decorate the night’s ceiling. Almost as if the weather knows that it’s not the time to be breathtaking. No one will look up to appreciate her anyway. 

     Y/N vacuumed the bunkhouse, then gave the kitchen a good once over, just to keep busy. Jo took her example and scrubbed the bathroom. At least the therapeutical cleanup isn’t for nothing, because there was enough sand between the floorboards for the footing of a new arena, and there were several organisms living on leftovers in the refrigerator. Wranglers are a bunch of swines, that much Y/N knows. She neatly folds the wrung out the cloth that she used, leaves it in the sink, and stares through the four-squared window. Still no sign of Dean. Honestly, she’s not sure if it would be reasonable to expect Ash back tonight, since he doesn’t have to show up for work in the morning. But Dean isn’t going to stay away, is he?

     While she is cleaning the faucet until she’s able to see her own reflection in the copper, she moves past denying how worried she is about him. Staying here and letting him be, as Jo put it, feels wrong. A breath of air rolls from her lips when she eyes the wall clock again. Ten minutes to nine; he’s been gone for almost two hours. For a moment she contemplates what to do next. She can still ride Meadow, even though she intended to give her the day off. It will keep her busy, for sure, her horse will probably offer some comfort, too. But she cannot take away the concern she carries for the head wrangler, only he can do that. With three determined steps she’s by the door opening, and is about to push away the fly curtain, when she hears stumbling, coming from behind. Jo just exited the bathroom, almost tripping over the stick of the mop while holding up a bucket of water. She has purple rubber gloves on, her blonde hair looks quite similar to the rag she is holding, and her shirt is pulled into a knot above her belly button. It’s quite a peculiar sight.

     “Where are you going?” she asks, perplexed. Surely, Y/N isn’t going to leave her friend to scrub the floor alone.      “I’m gonna go to the stables. I think we did enough cleaning for one day, or a week,” she excuses.      “To the stables, my ass. You’re going after Dean, ain’t ya?”      Y/N opens her mouth to counter Jo with a firm ‘no’, but when she looks at her friend, she drops the act. One cocked eyebrow, that same judgemental grin she gave the intern when she commented on her boots being too clean for a ranch hand, the day the cowgirl picked her up from the airport. Darn, Jo is on to her. And so she presses her lips together and sighs.       “He seemed upset,” she utters.      “He’s a dude, he’ll live. Men are mad for a minute, walk it off and by the time they turn around, they have forgotten what the whole thing was about. They’re like goldfish,” her friend scoffs.      Y/N snorts at that comparison. Clearly the ranch owner’s daughter has a strong opinion of the other gender.             “I’m just going to check on him, alright?” she promises.      “Do what you gotta do,” Jo replies. “You know where I’ll be.”      Thankful Y/N smiles at her friend, then moves the fly curtain out of the way and steps outside. Jo might think it’s stupid of her to let Dean get under her skin, but that doesn’t mean she will leave her to struggle with it alone, in case it backfires. Odds are that the wrangler is going to hurt her feelings somewhere down the line, the numbers are not exactly in his favor. But knowing that Jo will be there with a safety net ready to catch her, is reassuring. After a mocking ‘hate to say I told you so’, she will be her friend. 

     Grateful, Y/N walks down in the direction she saw Dean disappear hours ago. The air is thick, as if another thunderstorm is about to break out. The wind died down completely, leaving the lands in silence. The only sound she can detect, is a rhythmical pound every so many seconds, much like a pile-driver. Y/N isn’t far off, because when she reaches the cattle pens, she finds Dean, slamming a post into the ground with a sledgehammer. Seems like she wasn’t the only one who kept her hands busy to get through the evening.       Clearly still worked up over the fight he had with Ash, Dean swings the hammer over his head with everything that he’s got and hits the pole on the head. His grey shirt sticks to his torso, sweat shimmering on his skin, brought out by the lampposts that light the driveway. Veins lay thick on his forearms, dust and dirt smudges add to the shades in his dark features. He hadn’t noticed her yet, so caught up in the work that he fails to hear her footsteps. In silence, she watches, both intrigued and intimidated, but eventually gathers the courage to announce herself.      “Dean?”

     He pauses his action for a brief second and looks at the timid woman, bewildered. Out of breath, he takes her in, but decides not to respond and heaves the hammer again in order to smash it down, driving the post deeper into the ground.      “It’s getting pretty late,” she adds, hoping to get some kind of response that is more than just a look.      “I have to finish this fence,” he returns, his voice monotone, as if he is trying to restrain every emotion.      “The fence will still be there tomorrow,” Y/N returns.      “I’d rather fix it now.” He hits the pole again. “At least this fucking fence –” and again, “– I can fix.”      Oh, yeah; this is definitely a good way to deal with things. Y/N watches him jam the sledgehammer down a couple of more times, overworking his body.       “You’ve been going at it since 4 AM,” she counters, trying to convince him. “Please come inside?”      “I’m fine,” he replies bluntly, between swings.      Y/N huffs, sarcasm evident. “Yeah, I can see that.”      The head wrangler doesn’t respond, yet keeps grinding. He feels the young woman’s eyes on him, though. She is reading into his actions, his words, his behavior, and it’s bugging the hell out of him. 

     Cautiously, she moves in a few steps closer. “Do you want to talk about it?”      He drops the sledgehammer on the ground with a loud thump and turns to her, chest heaving and clearly annoyed.      “Do I look like I wanna talk about it?” he scolds between breaths. “I told you I’m fine!”      Taken aback by the hostility in his voice, Y/N stares at him. This is a side of Dean she has never seen before. Sure, he gave her a cold shoulder when she turned him down on her first night at the ranch, but the darkness that clouds his eyes now is different. He has closed himself off and as he was rebuilding the fence, he pulled up a wall as well. She understands that he’s hurt, but he is the second friend to lash out at her tonight and it’s more than she can handle.      “You know what? I won’t waste your time then. I’m certainly not going to waste any more of my time on you,” she spits, acrimony on her tongue. “Good luck with your damn fence.”

     Angry, Y/N turns on her heels before he can spot the tears burning in her eyes. Hurried steps take her away from the man that gets to her more than she should let him. You dumb goose. How could you have been so naive? Jo was right to warn her every single time she did. She has known her cousin her entire life and still Y/N begged to differ. For hours, she’s been worried about the guy who is only nice to his intern when he thinks he can seize the opportunity to get her into his bed. She empathized with him, and this is what she gets in return. A snarl from that selfish dick when she tries to help him. The cowgirl can hear him call out for her, but she ignores it. It’s not until she hears her name again close behind her, that she hesitates.      “Y/N…”      Strong yet tender fingers lock around her wrist and stop the woman who tries to flee from him. The action spins her around, but she avoids Dean’s eyes. When Y/N does glance up into those green orbs bouncing over her features, she can detect the dismay in his expression. If there is anything that she does not want him to see, it’s the tears that threaten to roll down her cheeks.           The bitterness that affected his temper a moment ago is gone and guilt replaces it. Shit, what has he done?      “I’m sorry,” he says, not a trace of swallowed pride. “You’ve been blamed for things that ain’t your fault enough today. You didn’t deserve that.”      He loosens the grip on her wrist a little and lets his fingers slide down her smooth skin until he holds her hand, squeezing it gently. There are so many emotions from both sides of the spectrum coursing through Y/N, but the most evident is the sensation that races up and down every nerve like a racetrack, the start and finish where he touches her. She looks down at their entwined fingers, at how her hand, soft from the all-purpose cleaner, fits in his palm. This is the first time that there is intentional physical contact and it shuts down her brain and sends her heart into overdrive. 

     “You’re not fine,” she manages to say. “I’m not a simpleton, Dean.”      “I know you’re not,” he acknowledges. “It’s just that…”      He pauses, hesitant about his next step. Opening up about the things that occupy his mind and keep him up at night is not something he’s comfortable with. His entire life he only had a few of those conversations, a few with Bobby, the others with Ellen. He only talked to them because they already knew a thing or two about his past and the issues that it brought along. But apparently the newest member of the crew is able to pierce through that veil and see behind the mask he thought he wore so well.       “Dean… I know this isn’t all about Ash, and whatever it is that is bothering you, it’s okay. You can talk to me.” Y/N squeezes his hand, ensuring, letting him know she’s ready to listen.      The anger she felt a moment ago when he shut down on her has disappeared as the ice on the lakes at the end of winter, back in Freeport. She isn’t even sure how this happened, but standing here in the wide-open spaces, lingering in his touch, it feels so good and so safe. It brings a calm over her she didn’t realize she longed for. 

     “I - I don’t really talk about this stuff,” the head wrangler admits. “I dunno, it feels like when I do, I just rattle shit up… It wouldn’t do anyone good.”      He lets go of her, before the girl he feels attracted to starts to wonder what the connection means, but runs his thumb over her knuckles gently before her fingers slip from his. The moment he pulls away, the wrangler already aches for her touch. Uneasy, he turns away and rests both his hands on the mid rail of the fence, his hunched shoulders blocking a clear view of his face. He cannot let her see it. He cannot let her see him.      “So that’s your strategy? When something bad happens, you bury it?”       Y/N isn’t judging him, he can tell by the way she asks the question and is looking at him, curious and sympathetic. What she is doing, though, is trying to understand how his mind works. What if she’s able to decipher his code? What if she can speak this foreign language that he made his? What if she figures me out?      Just the thought of letting it all rise to the surface scares Dean to death. Knowing that the one person he wants to impress, who he wants to do good by, will be able to tell how broken he truly is. And yet, despite the fear that is eating him up inside, he cannot pretend. He cannot lie to her.      “Yeah, I guess I do,” he admits. “Usually it works for me.”      “But not always,” she knows.      “No, not always.”

     He’s quiet now, his gaze locked on the soil that has become solid again after this morning’s rain. Y/N observes his body language; how he’s turned slightly away from her, head tipped down, resting his arms on the fence as if he needs something to lean on. It’s a stark contrast to the confident smile and bright eyes that she got used to. This is a part of him people rarely get to see, Y/N is very much aware of that. What she’s also aware of, is how delicate the situation is. Pushing him to talk will only trigger the opposite, and so she lets him be. The words she leaves between the two of them have only one purpose: to make him feel better.      “If you don’t feel like talking, that’s alright. But what happened to Ash, you know he was wrong to take it out on you, right? This is not your fault.”      Even in the dim light she can see his jaw flex, confirming her suspicion that he does, indeed, blames himself for his friend’s departure.      “It was my decision. One I had to make, but still. At least I should’ve been honest with him. He had a hunch that something wasn’t right and I could have eased him into it. Instead, I told him everything was going to be alright. Who does that?” the handsome wrangler ponders, able to kick himself in the head for his tactic. “He’s family, he deserves better.”      “You tried to protect him,” Y/N soothes.      The cowboy scoffs and pulls at his bottom lip with his teeth. “And look how that turned out…”

     Dean appreciates the cowgirl’s efforts. Hell, he admires her for them, because she could have walked off and let him rot after that snarl he gave her, and it would have done him justice. The thing is, Y/N wasn’t far off when she assumed that he wasn’t just upset about Ash. His whole life he has tried to protect the people he loved at the expense of himself, without question. One person stands out from all the others. A boy with hazel hair, bangs hanging in front of his eyes which used to look up to Dean admiringly. Always carrying some book around, always reading and studying. Quiet, observant, smart, a will of his own, even at a young age. A boy Dean fought for to keep safe, tried to make sure he would land on his feet alright, and be given all the opportunities he deserved. A boy who he took the hit for, every single time. A boy who would call Dean his big brother. A boy called Sam. He failed him, just like he failed Ash today.

     “Hey…”      The woman who is breaking down his walls brings him out of the trance he was stuck in, her voice alone having that effect. He turns to her again as she steps closer and looks up at him.      “I know we haven’t known each other that long, but sometimes it’s easier to open up to an outsider.”      She’s not done with her pledge, but Dean interrupts her either way.      “You’re not an outsider,” he makes clear. “I know you’re not from here, but that doesn’t mean you don’t belong. In fact, I think you are exactly where you should be.”      The words quiet her, leaving a smile on her lips and warmth in her heart. Feeling accepted and welcome, she lets her eyes glide over the dark desert lands on her right. Her surroundings look exactly the same as it did on the evening she arrived on the property. She remembers how alien this world seemed, witnessing a landscape like she had never seen. Her gaze captures the overhead sign above the driveway, ‘Gold Canyon Ranch’ carved out of the worn pinewood. Maybe Dean is right; maybe she is exactly where she needs to be.      “Well, outsider or not…” She restores eye contact, a calm exuding from her that soothes him. “You can always knock on my door.”      For the first time tonight, she can spot a glint of relief in his expression. It’s almost unnoticeable, but it’s there.      Dean is not going to make any promises, though. Not because he doesn’t want to get close to her; on the contrary. But revealing what he’s truly about, what has inflicted the scars which haven’t healed even after all those years, it will scare her away.       “Thank you,” he responds, grateful. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

     It’s a good enough answer for Y/N and she smiles back, glancing up into his eyes. There she is again, trapped like a butterfly in a spider’s web, unable to move or look away. His breathing has slowed and is back to normal after the exertion, but beads of sweat are still forming on his forehead, a drop rolling down his temple. He wipes his brow with his forearm, barely breaking eye contact. They both sense it, the change in the atmosphere, just like when the two had a moment under the Joshua tree. God, he wants to kiss her so bad that lust almost wins the battle it’s fighting with his confidence. He is offered another chance to make a move, but he’s not going to take it. This smart, kind, and strong woman deserves much better than the damaged man that he is. He breaks the tension by glancing down briefly while clearing his throat. When he looks back at her, he could swear he sees disappointment in her gorgeous eyes and regret stabs him in the gut.       “I’m, uh - I’m gonna finish up that fence,” he stammers, making a fist and pointing his thumb over his shoulder.       “Need a hand?” she asks, recovering quickly from the letdown.       Dean seems stunned by her offer, because he frowns at the intern after a double-take. “You want to help me fix the fence?”      “I’m only offering once,” she warns jokingly.      The head wrangler grins, amused. “Well, in that case. Yeah, I could use a hand,” he accepts.

     The cowgirl walks past him, eyeing him over her shoulder as she parades away. He stares for a second, smiling at the sight of her picking up the sledgehammer along the way, which apparently is heavier than she anticipated. The clumsy way she handles the large tool makes him chuckle, joyful for the first time tonight. No wonder, because without trying, she is absolutely stunning. A warmth spreads through him in waves, and he is highly aware of it. He recognizes the sensation. It has washed over him several times already, always when he laid his eyes on her. The girl with bright eyes and messy hair after a hard day’s work, despite her efforts to contain her locks. The girl who cares for others, who is kind to every living creature on this planet. She is beautiful in every way, inside and out. Under the yellow ray that falls down on her from the lantern above, she turns around. The spotlight creates dark shadows on the ground, but at the same time, it illuminates her features with a warm glow. 

     “Are you coming or what? That fence isn’t gonna fix itself,” she challenges.      Dean scoffs with a laugh, appreciating the attitude. Then he heads her way, stopping her when she almost loses her balance after heaving the large hammer above her head.      “Why don’t you give the sledgehammer to me, before someone gets hurt,” he mocks, holding out his hand.      “I can handle a hammer,” she returns, huffing defensive.      Doubtful, the wrangler looks back at her. “I think the fence is gonna disagree with you there.”      “Do you want my help, or not?” she recalls, letting out a laugh.      “Yeah, I want your help,” he admits. 

     The words lay deeper than would appear on first notice. It’s not intentional and Dean is worried for a second that she will pick up on what he really wants; he wants her to help him. Help him to heal, help him breathe, help him to love. No one has ever come through to him like she has already, and that’s exactly why he won’t make a move. He is beginning to understand what this all means, what is happening to him. How he feels about the newest member of the crew, is different. It’s mind-blowing and exciting, yet at the same time, it scares the shit out of him. The space she has occupied in his heart is growing steadily, but he can’t allow himself to act on it, because he simply can’t be selfish with her. That’s okay, though. Having her around as a colleague and a friend for the limited time she will stay with him trumps not having her in his life at all.       “I’m gonna give this pole a couple more knocks on the head. Can you fetch the new woodwork?” He nods at the wooden planks, stacked up in the back of his truck, a little further on the driveway.

     Reluctantly, Y/N lets go of the hammer and turns to get the new material for the fence. By the time she brings three new rails over, he has leveled the post with the others still standing. While she holds the board in place, Dean nails it to the post. In order to hold still, Y/N stands close to the head wrangler as he secures the fence. She fixates on the plank she’s holding, trying to ignore the fact that she is seriously invading his personal space. He smells like the damp earth below their feet and a hint of deodorant mixed with hard work; it’s the opposite of a turn-off. Trying to distract herself, she listens to the ticking sound of the head on the pin, until all the new woodwork is mounted to the posts. Sometimes he pauses for just a short second, his gaze burning her skin. Once he’s done, Y/N picks up the broken pieces left by the cattle when they stormed through, and carries them to Dean’s Chevrolet, where she lays the wood down in the cargo bed. Now that she and the handsome wrangler are a few more feet apart, she feels like she can breathe again, missing him close by at the same time. As she leans against the truck, he loads up the last of the wood that he didn’t use for the restoration. Again, his eyes linger on her briefly; the poor guy just cannot help himself, can he? Suddenly she feels bold.

     “Ash was right about one thing, though.”      “Oh, yeah? What’s that?” he wonders, as he dusts off his hands.      She grins cheeky, biting her bottom lip. “You are desperate to get in my pants.”      Dean stares at the cowgirl flabbergasted, eyebrows shooting up. Whoa, where the hell did the shy girl go? One question surfaces in the sea of thoughts that her remark triggered; what is her angle? Does she want him to get in her pants? The handsome wrangler scoffs nervously and looks down flustered, as he rubs the back of his neck. But he doesn’t deny it. He can’t.       “What, no comeback?” she nags, expecting either a smart or flirty return.      “There are some things I just can’t argue with,” he chuckles, a blush pushing past the freckles on his cheeks. “Ain’t no reason to get cocky, though.”

     He winks at her flirtatiously, his bright green eyes joined by a smug grin and Y/N cannot help but laugh. Who would have known that she missed Cowboy Casanova? It’s good to see he got his wit back, because he had her worried there for a second. She has spotted the pattern, though. Whenever he is forced to deal with an issue he wants to steer clear of, he dodges the matter by either making fun of the situation or by shutting down completely. So this is his defense mechanism, this is his armor. But beneath all the silence and the horse crap, he admitted straight up that he wants her. Ash might have implied that the head wrangler is only following her like a lost puppy because he wants to keep counting the girls he had in fives, but Y/N knows that’s not all that there is to it. With nothing more than a look, he made it pretty clear he feels something for her that Friday evening after training when they had a moment under the Joshua tree. Now that assumption has been confirmed. 

     As the gears in her head are turning, she begins to walk across the gravel parking lot back to the bunkhouse, but it’s not just her grey matter that is doing overtime. Contemplating his own words, Dean gets behind the wheel of his Chevrolet. The fact is, he wasn’t just flirting. He’s simply telling the truth. But hasn’t that been the case the entire time? The wrangler is hungry for the new ranch hand, he’s pining so bad that selflessness alone is stopping him from running up the driveway and closing her in his arms. Strangely enough, it has nothing to do with sex, or greed, or any other sin, despite what others might think. For a moment, he worries if she might have read into his words just now. He doesn’t want to give her hope, or does he? Fighting his mind, he sighs; he’s so tired he can’t even think straight. 

     With a flip of the key, the engine comes alive, only to drive a couple of hundred yards. After steering the black pickup to a spot next to the shed, Dean leaves the transmission in park. He will unload tomorrow, today he’s calling it quits. A grunt passes his lips when he hoists himself out of the car again. Damn, if his muscles are sore now, he doesn’t want to picture how bad it’s going to hurt in the morning. Maybe a long hot shower will do him good, he definitely needs one to rid himself from the filth he’s covered in.       The head wrangler strolls up the trail that leads to his bed and finds the girl he’s losing himself to, watching the bunkhouse from some distance. When Dean levels with her, he sees why she stopped. On the bottom steps of the porch, two figures sit and talk: one of them is Jo, the other is Ash.       “Well, what do ya know,” Dean huffs, surprised.       Relieved, Y/N smiles. “Seems like he came around. Go talk to him.”

     His chest constricts a little with the thought of the confrontation alone and he hesitates. His friend is most likely still mad at him. What if doesn’t want to settle this? What if he screws it up again?       When Y/N detects that the man next to her is in two minds, she nudges him reassuringly with her shoulder, smiling at him before he gathers enough courage to step forward. The pair are walking up to the steps, when Jo spots them. The cattle worker next to her looks up now too, shame and uneasiness draping his features when he sees the head wrangler. The blonde cowgirl gets to her feet, picking up her hat that she had put down next to her.      “I’ll leave you guys to it,” she says. “Comin’, Yankee?”       Y/N nods and passes Dean, shortly squeezing his arm supportingly as she does.      “Good luck,” she whispers, as she glances over her shoulder.            He nods at her thankfully and takes Jo’s spot on the porch stairs, as the two girls retreat inside. An awkwardness fills the air within seconds, thick and suffocating, yet neither of the men say anything in order to break it. After what feels like minutes of going over what has been said and still needs to be, Ash gets up. Motionless, Dean sits on the step, forearms on his knees, fingers forked together. He hears his friend’s footsteps on the floorboards, followed by the rattling of the bamboo fly curtain and then the eerie silence; Ash has walked away. 

     Pained, Dean closes his eyes and presses the knuckles of his clasped hands against the bridge of his nose. The tightness in his chest that he felt when he realized he had to face his friend has turned into an uncomfortable ache now. It seems to be a recurring theme in his life, people walking out on him. Fuck, why is it so hard to do this? Why can’t he just tell Ash he’s sorry? He takes a breath and lifts his head, staring at the lights coming from the neighbors property, several miles up the road. Then something moves into his peripheral vision and he turns to find a can of PBR beer handed to him. Dean’s eyes move up to see who is holding the beverage, the weight falling off his shoulders when he sees the guy who rocks the mullet. The head wrangler takes the cold refreshment while Ash sits down next to him again. They both open their cans and take a slug of the golden brew. The silence returns, but it’s a much more pleasant one this time. Without saying a word, they’ve made peace. That does not mean, though, that nothing should be said. 

     “Ash?”      “Hmm?”      “I - uh… I’m-–”      “– Yeah, brother. Me too.”

Thank you for reading! I appreciate every single one of you, but if you do want to give me some extra love, you are free to reblog my work or buy me coffee (Link in bio at the top of the page)

Read part ten here

[likeshipsonthesea]

heat of her breath in my mouth; im alive" for nurseydex?

heyyy remember months ago when i asked y’all to send in hozier lyrics as prompts and y’all fucking Delivered and i sat on my ass and did nothing??? (well,, two As and a citation in my classes but who gives a shit about that)

HERE IT IS. well. one of them. here one of them is. it’s weird and wishy washy and most reminiscent of my writing style from Forever Stained (remember that?) and nursey is mildly ooc and dex is Emotional and if you don’t know my oc luke it may be confusing for a bit but anyway it’s FUN and i hope y’all enjoy it

will be tackling the other prompts soon!! hopefully!! :]

warning for parental homophobia and older-person-young-person relationship (a 14 year old and a 17 year old, only in flashback)

The first night Dex is in New York, he dreams.

He dreams himself a house. A loud, angry house. The walls shiver, the floors ache. He drags his rough palm against peeling wallpaper until his fingers catch on the latch of a back door.

The night air is cold. It hurts, but tastes like water, and he chokes it down until his lungs close up. When he finishes swallowing, he is on a beach. The house is far away, a distant thrum in the back of his head. To his left is an outcropping of mossy rocks. To his right are the glassy waves of low tide. Behind him, he can feel, is a roaring fire.

If he turns around, he will find a ring of drunken teenagers cupping sixty cent beer like salvation. He will fade into their circle with little fuss and spend the night with sand in his jeans pockets wondering if he will ever be allowed to leave this place.

If he turns right, he will be chilled and damp and alone.

He turns left.

The rocks create a familiar path. The bottoms of the stones are encrusted with salt from high tide washing in and moss grows along their sides and tops, soft with stolen sunshine. The moss is smoother than the wallpaper and soothes his rough hands. Sand steals into his sneakers, irritating, but he continues to walk. He knows what is waiting for him at the end.

The house is all but silent, now. The bonfire’s warmth has evaporated, leaving the late autumn chill on Dex’s fingertips, his nose. He cannot hear his drunken peers and, more than that, he does not think of them. He tastes sixty cent beer and salvation and he has more important things to worry about.

After walking for hours, he turns the final corner, and there is a boy.

“I’ve been waiting for you,” the boy says.

“Sorry,” Dex says. He dreams he is small. “I tried to be quick but—”

The boy shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter now.” The boy grab Dex’s wrist. His fingers are cold. He pulls Dex close. Dex comes to his chin, stares up at him with a broken back neck.

Moments before their lips meet, Dex realizes what’s wrong.

“You’re not Luke,” he says.

Nursey doesn’t stop to respond. His mouth, on Dex’s, is cold.

Dex wakes up, shivering in June, in an unfamiliar bed. He wants to go home. He wants to call Nursey. He turns over, instead, and tries to fall back asleep.

*~*~*

“Is the apartment nice?” Ma asks, when she calls the next morning.

Dex bends to grab a water bottle from his fridge. “It’s clean,” he says, pressing the bottle against his red, sweating neck. “It’s in a good location.”

“It was so nice of them to set you up with a place,” Ma says.

Dex nods, taking a breath. “Yeah, I got lucky.”

“It wasn’t luck,” Ma says. “You worked hard.”

Dex breathes.

“You’re breathing funny,” she says. Hesitant, “Are you okay?”

He shakes his head at nothing. “Yeah, I’m fine, Ma. You just caught me right as I finished my run.”

“Oh. You must’ve been up early.” Dex doesn’t know what to say to that, and doesn’t really want to explain that he woke up in the middle of the night after dreaming a memory all twisted and couldn’t force himself back to sleep, so he doesn’t say anything. After a moment, Ma asks, “Is there a nice running route nearby?”

“There’s a park close enough to go through.” He takes a quick sip of his water. “It’s nothing like home, though.”

“Well.” Ma fiddles with something—a pen or a piece of scrap paper in front of her. “It’s a good opportunity.”

“I know, Ma. I’m—I’m glad to be here.” 

“Good.” She lets out an audible breath. 

Dex can picture her, curled small against the phone, fiddling with a pen. She’s probably sitting in the kitchen, at the end of the table they squished in there. They use it as a kids’ table during family gatherings, but it’s otherwise just a junk surface for every odd end they bring into the house. Every few months Ma will get stressed at work, or worried about money, or someone in the family will get sick, and she’ll decide that it’s time to go through all the junk and keep the table clean for once, God damn it. Now, it’s probably half organized, half mess. She’d only started a week ago, when Dex got home from Samwell to pack for New York.

“Good,” Ma says again. “This really is a good opportunity. The company is great, right? And it will give you experience.” Dex hums, sipping his water. “And—and you won’t be alone, right? You have that—that friend of yours, Nurse something?”

Dex stops drinking. The water bottle sweats in his hand, one chilled droplet sliding down his skin. “Yeah,” Dex says, “he lives nearby.”

“Good.” Ma taps some more, with the pen. “Good.”

Dex puts down the water bottle and wipes his hand off on his gym shorts. “How’s cleaning going, Ma?”

“Oh. You know, it’s getting there.”

“This time’s the charm, I’m sure. As long as Dad remembers to keep it clean.”

“Yes, yes. He has to get better about that.” Dex breathes. Tries to think up another thing to say that won’t lead anywhere that makes Ma tap. He can’t think of anything. Ma says, “We all have to get better about things, though.”

Dex tangles his fingers in the fabric of his shorts. “I—I’ve got to go shower, Ma, but I’ll call you, okay?”

“Oh—okay.” She hesitates, and Dex thinks about just hanging up. “We love you.”

“I love you, too.” Dex picks up the cap from his water bottle. Ma doesn’t say anything more. “Okay, bye, Ma.” He hangs up, cutting her off in the middle of a second-too-late goodbye. He debates calling back to apologize.

He ends up leaving his phone on the counter, chugging the rest of his water, and stripping on the way to his shower. Whatever heat the run in the summer city air had given him has since disappeared, leaving his skin chilled, shivering.

*~*~*

The dreams don’t stop.

The next one is in a bathroom. Dex doesn’t remember the tile or the shower curtain with little blue whales on it, but he knows somehow that it’s Luke’s childhood bathroom. Downstairs a graduation party ensues, clean fun music simmering through the floorboards as Dex is nudged back into the wall.

Cold hands push under his shirt, nails catching. Cool breath hits his neck, wet, and he shivers. He is not drunk. He is worrying, about Luke’s parents, about the other guests. People here know him, know his family. This is a bad idea.

“We should go back,” he says, in the dream. He didn’t say it, back when this happened. “This is a bad idea.”

“You never go along with my ideas, Poindoodle.” Nursey laughs into Dex’s chin. “Come on, just try one play. I think we could make the two headed beast work.”

This is wrong, Dex thinks, and opens his eyes to the soft grey ceiling of his New York apartment.

*~*~*

“Good work so far, Will.”

Dex looks up from his screen as his boss raps his knuckles against Dex’s monitor. Dex’s fingers pause on the keyboard and he smiles. “Thank you, sir.”

Dex’s boss shakes his head. “Call me Hugh. I don’t feel old enough to be a sir yet.”

Dex inclines his head. “Thank you, Hugh.”

Hugh smiles, wide, and lifts his coffee mug. “Keep it up,” he says, and heads into his office. The walls of his office are see-through, all made of glass, and Dex’s eyes follow him without thought as he sits down at his desk. The building they work in is nice enough, clean, lots of glass that lets in sunlight. It’s nothing like Dex had been picturing, some dark room where they code for hours on end with no break. Dex likes it. Likes it here. Likes the people. To think such a thing feels almost like a betrayal, like he shouldn’t be enjoying this place of exile, but he can’t help it.

Dex returns his attention to his code. He lets the logic of the work soothe his brain, until thoughts of trading in worn wood for clean glass and disguised disappointment for blatant pride leave the forefront of his mind. He just works, and doesn’t think, and enjoys every moment.

Sometime later, his phone buzzes.

what’s up willy p, ready to hit the town this weekend :PPP

Dex stares at the screen until it goes to black. He turns over his phone and pushes it away, to focus on work, and two minutes later has to restrain himself from looking when it buzzes once again.

*~*~*

Not all of the dreams have Nursey in them.

“Good work so far, Will,” Luke pants into Dex’s neck.

They are in a car—Luke’s probably, it has the fancy leather seats and the driver’s side window isn’t stuck perpetually open. The air tastes like sweat and the windows are fogged, obscuring the beach outside with its black, freezing water.

Luke’s fingers scrape at the base of Dex’s back. “Keep it up,” he says, grin wide against Dex’s shoulder. “Keep it up, keep it up.”

Dex stares at the glassy waves. They loom ever closer, higher and higher tide until they reach the tires of the car. The air tastes more and more like salt until it’s dripping from his tongue. The car has filled with the sea. Luke is cold, like the water, and he keeps saying his lines, “Good work,” until Dex opens his eyes to a grey ceiling, alone.

*~*~*

On Friday afternoon, Dex texts Nursey back.

I’m not up for anything crazy. Still settling in.

Dex grabs his things—wallet, keys, sticky note reminding him to call Ma—and bids goodbye to the few left in the office, Hugh and a nice girl named Kate a few desks over he’s chatted with during their coffee breaks.

Nursey responds by the time Dex reaches the street. no p dude. wanna come over and watch a movie?

Dex falls into step with the endless, faceless mass of people. The city buildings around him cut into the sky, grey, unyielding. He needs something like fresh air.

What movie? he asks.

;) Nursey sends back.

Dex breathes. Okay.

*~*~*

Nursey’s brownstone is tall and clean and, surprisingly, cozy. Dex was picturing something styled out of a magazine, hard edges and white and unwelcoming. Nursey welcomes Dex into a house full of oranges and deep browns and yellows with a big smile. He’s wearing a t-shirt and Samwell branded shorts. He is not wearing socks.

“Dude,” he says, emphatic, and pulls Dex into a hug. “Feels like it’s been years, bro.”

Dex hugs back, automatic. “It’s been three weeks, Nursey. Chill.”

Nursey laughs, chest rumbling against Dex’s. His back shakes, sweaty and warm, under Dex’s hands. “Shut up,” he says, pulling back. “You’re allowed to say you missed me, too.”

Dex scrunches his eyebrows. “Did you say you missed me? I didn’t hear that part.”

Nursey laughs again. With all the colors around him, he looks like sunshine. Dex skitters his eyes away, blistering. Nursey coughs. “We’ll be in the living room tonight,” he says, walking towards one of the open doorways. Dex follows. “I’ve got snacks and shit, and my dad made food and put it in some containers before he left but I don’t know what it is.”

“He’s not here?” Dex asks, looking at the old concert posters on the far wall, next to a long stretch of built in bookcases, all filled to the brim.

“Nah, he left on a business trip on Wednesday. Mom and Mama have been gone since Monday. Date vacation.” Nursey flops onto a leather couch, plush. With limbs thrown about, he embodies coziness. Despite the heat outside, the air conditioner keeps it nice inside, and the idea of climbing onto the couch with him is irritatingly desirable.

“You’re here alone?” Dex asks, taking a seat on the other end of the sectional.

Nursey grins. “Not anymore, now that I have you.” He flutters his eyelashes at Dex. Dex laughs and says, “Shut up,” and doesn’t think about it any more than that.

*~*~*

When Dex gets home that night, after several movies, more than half of them Very Bad, full of popcorn and homemade food and laughter he’d forgotten the taste of, he gets into bed alone with his grey foreign ceiling and does not dream of anything.

*~*~*

“I’m glad work is going well,” Ma says, when Dex calls her in the morning. She’s on speaker phone, he can tell, while she works around the house.

“Me too.” Dex stirs the eggs in his pan. Eating Nursey’s dad’s food reminded him that he could actually use the kitchen in his temporary apartment. After his run, he decided to start easy, with breakfast.

“That girl you mentioned, Kate, she sounds nice.”

“She is.” He scrapes some cooked egg from the bottom of the pan and swirls around the yolks a bit. “She’s been working there for about two years now and she says it’s a nice place.”

“That’s good.” On Ma’s end, there’s some movement, probably throwing something out because there’s a soft swooshing sound, like the trash can makes. “Have you been able to do some fun things around the city yet? Maybe with your new coworkers?”

“Kate invited me out to dinner next weekend.” Dex turns down the heat and continues to scrape.

The movement noises stop. “Oh! How nice of her.”

“The restaurant is supposed to be really good. Her fianc�� is the head chef there.” Dex checks on his toast just as they pop and he carefully plucks them from the toaster.

“Oh.”

Dex hums, dropping the toast on his plate and turning to find the eggs done. “I also watched some movies with Nursey last night.” He deposits the eggs next to the toast and then hurries to check the bacon before it gets too crispy.

“Oh. Your aunt and I wanted to see a movie, but nothing was playing that we liked.” Distantly, Dex hears tapping of something, probably as Ma cleans.

Dex pulls out the tray of bacon. “We didn’t go to the theaters, so we could just stream.”

“He came to your apartment?”

Dex uses tongs to transfer the bacon to his plate. “I went to his family’s brownstone.” Satisfied, he gets the pre-poured glass of orange juice out from the fridge.

Ma hums. “Were his parents nice?”

Dex gathers together his plate, utensils, napkin, drink, and phone onto a tray and carries it out to the living room. “They were traveling, but I’ve met them before. They’re nice.”

“Oh.”

Dex settles his things down on the coffee table and sits on the couch, refraining from digging in for a moment to admire his handy work. It isn’t amazing by any means, but since being home, since finals, the playoffs, even before that when the stove was temporarily disengaged, he hasn’t had a chance to make food for himself, really. He almost wants to snap a picture.

“Are you—”

Dex looks away from his plate, to his phone sitting next to it. He picks it up and turns off speaker. “What, Ma?”

“Nothing. Nothing.”

Dex drags his thumb against the case. Either the lack of AC or keeping up the call has made his phone heat up. Against his cheek, it itches. “Everything okay, Ma?”

“Yes. Yes, of course. I just—” Dex hears the tapping, louder now that it’s in his ear. “I just want you to remember why you’re there. You’re working. This is for your future.”

The uncomfortable wrinkles appear between his eyebrows. “I know, Ma.”

“Good. I just don’t want you to—”

“To what, Ma?”

She doesn’t say anything for a moment. Tapping fills the silence. “I’m glad you’re having a good time so far,” she says, quiet. “I’ll let you go. Have a nice day.”

“You, too.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Ma hangs up. Dex drops his phone from his ear, hot in his hand now. He breathes for a moment and then picks up the tray. He digs into his eggs and, though they’ve just started to go cold, it tastes good enough.

*~*~*

He dreams he’s trapped under sheets.

Fingers curl in his hair, tight. His scalp hurts, but he keeps going, stops breathing. He’s smothered under blankets, but he’s shivering. Every time he tries to surface, the hands on his head hold him steady.

After long, long minutes, the sheets flood with saltwater and he breaks through the waves and gulps in air. The world is still freezing but he can breathe. He can breathe.

“Be quiet,” Nursey rasps, cold breath against Dex’s ears. “Don’t want to wake anyone up.”

Nursey is swallowed by the sheets and Dex is left floating, freezing, staring at the ceiling of his own childhood bedroom. The open window lets in chilled winter air that flutters the drapes, dark blue that blends in with the water he’s drowning in. Ma could walk in at any moment. Jay could hear them, just a few walls away. What if someone walks in? What would happen then?

When Dex opens his eyes, he’s staring at the grey ceiling again. He can’t breathe, even though the air is air, and not water. He grabs at his chest and tries to press down, like he could manually make his lungs work.

With his free hand he reaches for the nightstand, the light, and floods the room with yellow. He sits up, gasping, and knocks his phone off the table, disconnecting it from the charger. Grabbing for it, because it seems important in the moment, he sees there’s a notification.

y tf are safiya nygaard’s videos so entertaining

it’s fucking 3 in the morning and i’m watching her wear clear plastic jeans for a week

like wtf

Dex realizes that he still can’t breathe, but now because laughter is bubbling in his chest and clogging up his throat. He laughs, hard and long and unbearable, until his whole body aches.

He lies back in his bed, on land, now. He types back a message.

Who let you on YouTube this late at night? You know how easy you fall into holes.

The three dots appear within seconds.

i am but a simple man with no self restraint

The dots appear again, disappear, and reappear.

you would understand if you watched her

Dex grabs for his laptop, sitting by the foot of his bed. He double checks the name and clicks on a random video about a merged Ugg and Teva shoe.

What… I.. what? Teva Uggs?

ur watching!!

I don’t understand

it’s Art dexington appreciate it

Dex doesn’t end up falling back asleep for a while, and getting up for work that morning is hell, but when he lies back down in bed with a buzzing phone and too-bright computer screen, he’s not drowning.

*~*~*

Someone taps Dex’s shoulder and he turns to find Kate smiling pleasantly at him. He takes out one earbud.

“Break time!” she says.

Dex laughs. “Wouldn’t want to be productive for too long.”

“Exactly.”

He turns off the music he was listening to to concentrate—some Spotify playlist Nursey made him to “be more productive” that just tends to make Dex laugh at inopportune moments—and then he joins Kate in the break room as she talks at him about dinner the other night.

“George says to come back whenever you want, he loves when people love his food, it’s a little ridiculous.” She fiddles with the coffee maker as Dex grabs his smoothie from the fridge. He’s taken to making himself smoothies in the morning and bringing them in for his breaks, since he’s never loved coffee all that much.

“I’ve been telling my friend all about it and he’s begging me to take him now, so tell George he can expect me back soon. My friend is pretty pushy.”

“Perfect, then he’ll stop bothering me about it.” Kate reaches out without looking. “Could you pass the cream?”

Dex dutifully hands her the cream.

“You’re coming to the office party next week right?” She fixes her coffee the way she likes it and turns to Dex, sipping. Her eyes are wide and clear that Dex’s answer should and will be yes. It’s a bit like Bitty’s captain look and it curls something sharp and sad in Dex’s chest. Going back to school in August is going to be so very different without him.

“I didn’t know there was a party next week,” Dex says, licking excess smoothie from his upper lip. “What’s it for?”

“Jenny’s birthday. There’s gonna be a cake.”

“How can I say no to cake?”

Kate grins. “You can bring a guest, too. We need fresh meat at these things. Also if you don’t bring a date someone is going to try to set you up with someone and believe me, you do not want to get stuck on a date with Karen’s second cousin Stew. He’s basically the opposite of whatever a hoot is.”

Dex snorts into his smoothie. “Noted.”

Dex’s phone buzzes in his pocket. He pulls it out without thinking twice. He doesn’t check it while he’s working and there are a few messages.

buzzfeed unsolved is THE SHIT

shane and ryan r defo u and me but i can’t tell who’s who. you believe in ghosts right??

ur homework is to watch every episode tonight and then come sleep in my apartment bc i’m scared af rn

Dex smiles and quickly types out a response.

Sounds like the writing is going well.

“Who’s that?” Kate pushes onto her tiptoes to look over the lip of Dex’s phone screen.

“My friend from school.” Dex keeps his phone out long enough to see Nursey’s response– f off– and then shoves it back in his pocket. “He’s supposed to be writing a short story for the publication he’s working with over the summer and he’s getting a little sidetracked.”

“Ooh, a humanities. How did we meet someone from the Other Side?” Kate grins into her coffee.

“He’s on the hockey team with me.”

Kate hums. “Hockey, I should’ve known.”

“Huh?”

“George and I were betting that you played some kind of sport. I thought basketball because you’re so tall, but he guessed baseball.” She scrunches up her nose. “Basketball’s closer, I think.”

Dex huffs, laughing a little. “What was the prize?”

Kate is staring at nothing, face scrunched up, and then blinks, hearing Dex, apparently. She waves her hand dismissively. “Oh, I can’t tell you that, HR would have a fit.” She sips her coffee again and Dex can’t help the volume of the laugh he lets out.

*~*~*

In the next dream, the sun is high and bright and dead in the sky.

“You’re good,” Luke says, walking next to him on the sidewalk. The ground is too hard against Dex’s feet, even through his sneakers. He turns and Luke is Luke, but also Jack. They speak at once. “If you work hard, you could take this somewhere.”

“You really think so?” Dex asks. He is small. Short. He looks up at Jack and his neck aches.

Luke grins, all teeth. “I really do.”

Dex wakes up reaching for his phone. Two texts wait for him, and he breathes as he makes his shaking fingers type out a response.

*~*~*

“I can’t believe you work a block away from my favorite coffee shop and it’s taken you this long to meet me on your lunch break.” Nursey tsks, reaching over to steal a bit of Dex’s muffin.

Dex slaps lightly at his hand, but Nursey still escapes with a sizable crumb. “I’ve been here for less than a month, it isn’t that long.”

“It’s ages,” Nursey insists, fingers still in his mouth as he speaks.

Dex winces to smother his smile. “You’re ridiculous.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Nursey retorts, and then sticks out his tongue to further prove it.

Dex huffs, sipping his smoothie to keep himself from doing something stupid, like responding. “How’s writing going?” he asks, when he’s taken his sip.

Nursey hums, swirling a mixing stick through his iced coffee. “Pretty good. I have a working draft done, but it needs some serious editing.”

“That’s good, dude. ‘Swawesome, even.”

Nursey grins around his straw. “’Swawesome,” he repeats. “C would be proud.”

“You talk to him recently?” Dex picks at his muffin.

“Yesterday, actually. Training is going well.”

Dex chews thoughtfully. “S’good. Last time I talked to him he was more worried about Bitty than the NHL.”

“Oh, he definitely still is.” Nursey laughs and makes another dive for Dex’s muffin. Dex deftly moves the plate out of the line of fire.

“It took him two weeks to pick a wall color,” Dex says, pausing to drink his smoothie. “And Jack must be drowning in all the tester bakes.”

“Let’s be real, though, if Bitty Bakes ever does open it’s gonna be the sickest bakery of all time.”

Dex inclines his head, slowly nodding. “Oh, I’ll definitely be spending my entire paycheck on imported pastries.”

“If you run out we can share my trust fund,” Nursey says, batting his eyelashes.

The laughter tastes so pleasant and—more than that—familiar on Dex’s tongue that he doesn’t even do anything as Nursey makes another grab for his muffin.

*~*~*

The worst dreams are ones that aren’t really memories at all.

It’s a beach, but the sand is blue and the ocean is clear and all Dex can see is sunshine, though he can’t feel a thing. Nursey is next to him and their hands are stuck in the sand, twisted together and hiding.

“I love you,” Nursey says, and it’s his voice and his words except not, because Dex knows it’s wrong, know it’s his brain that made it all up, and he starts running, slipping against the sand.

He trips and falls onto his knees and he looks up and it’s Luke and he’s grinning and looming and huge and he speaks, “Quiet, kid, quiet or they’ll hear you,” and for some reason Dex knows they is Nursey and he swallows every breath, worried it will sound like a scream, and when he wakes up he is, screaming, except no sound will come out and he’s just broken with his throat open and empty and—

He presses call without thinking and Nursey answers on the third ring.

“Dex—what—”

“Can you—just—” Dex swallows, tries again. “Just talk. Please.”

“Dex, what’s going—”

“Please.”

“I—uh. Okay.”

And he does. He talks, about the funny conversation he had with his mama today and these cool shoes he saw on Instagram and the pretty clouds he saw yesterday and this fruity drink he wants to try at a bar downtown that he’s going to drag Dex to whether he wants to go or not.

And sometime later, Dex falls asleep. He wakes up with his phone warm and nearly dead against his ear and a text from Nursey asking if everything’s g and Dex doesn’t respond, half because Nursey used g for good and half because he doesn’t know the answer.

*~*~*

His old running route in Maine took him through the woods. Past gnarled roots that curled, mischievous, and tried to trip him up, under a canopy of green that shivered in the early morning wind. He liked to wake up with the sun, at home, liked the quiet moments before the rest of town woke up and started looking at him. So he’d wake and run and take his path until the trees gave way to a dusky beach, accompanied by a barely awake sun.

A lot of the time, the water would still be smeared with the red hues of the fading sunrise, and Dex would stand and pant and stare and think about nothing, or Samwell, or—later on—Nursey.

It was a nice path, back home. Even if it would inevitably bring him back to houses that creaked under his footsteps, full of people that couldn’t look away until he met their gaze.

In New York, he runs against sidewalk. Smooth and uncomplicated, it brings him to a small park, with a few trees and some grass and, occasionally, some pigeons. He takes the path set out for him there and doesn’t have to think about winding roots, but does, anyway. He thinks about how easy it is without them, and how much he misses them, and wonders what that means before the adrenaline in his body pulses in his temples and he stops thinking of much all together.

He returns to his apartment and guzzles down water and makes himself breakfast and sometimes calls Ma and tries not to think about how different his life is here, tries not to categorize the things he misses, and the things he’s glad to be without.

He runs to forget, and it doesn’t always work, but it doesn’t mean he can’t try.

*~*~*

Jenny’s birthday party is, surprisingly, fun. Nursey texts him in the middle of the afternoon apologizing, saying that his meeting is running late and he might not be there in time, but he will be there. Dex, dejected, expects the party to suck, but when they all clock out and the cake is wheeled out on one of the trays they typically use for mail and Kate grabs the AUX cord for the speakers, things actually become interesting.

It’s not quite a kegster—nothing is quite like a kegster—but his coworkers are nice, funny people and the music is lively and the cake, while not Bitty’s, is pretty damn good. Nursey texts him intermittent updates with ridiculous comments and Dex, after Karen is drawn to the dance floor to Cotton Eyed Joe, takes up a spot by the wall with his cake and his phone and snickers down icing to type out a response to do you think they sell candles that smell like the subway.

Then, suddenly, Hugh pops up.

“Will, hi,” he says, holding his own plate of cake. “Thought I’d come over and say hello, now that Karen’s let you go.”

Dex swallows a bite of cake and shoves his phone in his pocket. “Oh, Karen wasn’t holding me hostage or anything. We were talking apple pie recipes.”

“Good to hear she wasn’t trying to get you to meet Stew.” Hugh leans in, secretive and exaggerated. “I don’t know if anyone’s told you, but he isn’t quite the catch she makes him out to be.”

Dex laughs, because Hugh is his boss and you laugh when your boss makes a joke. “I’ve been warned.”

“Good, good.” Hugh leans back, nodding. The silence hovers for a second, then he asks, “How’ve you been liking it here?”

“New York or the company?”

Hugh shrugs. “Either. Both.”

“New York I’m liking more than I thought I would. I’m from Maine,” Dex says, smiling in that way Nursey describes as country-boy-sheepish, “so I’m used to some greenery, but the city has its perks too.”

“Good, good!” Hugh grins. “I grew up in the country too. Northern Michigan. It sure is an adjustment. But I think it’s worth it.”

“Working here has helped,” Dex says, and if Nursey was here he’d probably cough to poorly disguise a kiss up but he isn’t really lying. Working here has proved to him that he would enjoy going into this field, and while he is keeping his options open, that’s a good thing to know.

“Oh, I’m glad,” Hugh says, gesturing haphazardly with his cake. “We’re lucky to have you here.”

“Thank you, sir—Hugh.”

Hugh smiles, and they stand there for a beat, two, and then he says, “Forgive me if this is inappropriate, but are you seeing anyone?”

Dex stiffens. Hugh isn’t—? He’s Dex’s boss, he can’t—is he? It’s like ice, gone down Dex’s back, through his veins. He wants to pinch himself, almost. Is he dreaming? But Luke never said those words before. But the dreams have been stranger lately. Is it—?

“Because my brother,” Hugh continues to speak, unaware, “just got out of college and I couldn’t help but notice the Bruins t-shirt you had on last Friday and he is the biggest hockey fan—”

Nursey is there, suddenly, and he’s right there, bumping his shoulder into Dex’s. He’s out of breath and smiling and warm and Dex leans back into him without thinking. “I am so sorry I’m late,” he’s saying, to Dex, and then to Hugh, “I’m sorry, I just completely interrupted you. I’m Nursey—well, Derek, but everyone calls me Nursey, so take your pick.” Then, to Dex, “Do you go as Dex or William here?” He scrunches up his face. “William. Ew. You sound like an uncle.”

“I was named after my uncle,” Dex says, vaguely.

Nursey nods. “Exactly.”

Hugh coughs. “My apologies, Will. I didn’t know—well. I see now.” He smiles, tight. “I’ll let you two catch up,” he says, lifting his cake, untouched, in parting.

“What was that about?” Nursey ask, peering after him obviously. “Ooh, is that cake?”

Dex hands over the rest of his second slice. He isn’t much hungry now.

“You will not believe my trip here,” Nursey says, beginning to eat. “It was, like, totally unchill, dude.”

Nursey hasn’t moved, still pressed up against Dex’s shoulder. Dex takes a deep breath. “Tell me about it,” he says, and Nursey does.

*~*~*

“—and all the ladies at church say hi,” Ma says, over speaker phone as she works around the kitchen. 

The table, a continuous project, has been tabled for now—pun intended—for the sake of getting the dishes clean. Ma has to yell over the roar of the faucet. Dex is doing his own tidying as he folds laundry and listens to Ma talk. She always did used to talk while doing chores, Dex following her around, soothed by the words and the humming and the simplicity. It’s been a while since they’ve done chores together, and the familiarity, the comfort, mellows an ache in Dex’s chest.

“They all worry for you down in the big city,” Ma says, scrubbing audibly. “They don’t like the idea of a sweet country boy like you surrounded by all that crime and greyness.”

“You can tell them I’m holding my own,” Dex says, which makes Ma laugh a little, the short chuckle thing that he inherited from her.

“I will,” she says. A small clatter comes over the line as she, presumably, adds a dish to the drying rack. “They’re all in a tizzy planning for the July 4th social. I’ve been assigned drink coordination, which really means fielding arguments between Mrs. McMahon and Mrs. Fielding about soda over spirits, even though we all know we’re going to end up with the same drinks we always get and one of the rotten teenage boys is going to spike the lemonade despite whatever ridiculousness Mr. Spaulding tries to rig up.”

Dex smiles, remembering. When he was a kid and accidentally drank some of the spiked lemonade and wouldn’t stop giggling the whole ride home, when he was a teen and helped his then-girlfriend Isabelle spike it herself, when he was back from college and roped into standing watch over the lemonade but let one of the teens through anyway, on account of tradition.

“Oh, and you’ll never guess who I ran into in the grocery store the other day,” Ma continues as Dex reminisces. He probably could guess—there’s only so many people in their town, after all—but he lets Ma tell it how she wants as he searches for the pair to the sock in his hand. “Do you remember your old hockey captain? Luke Rossi?”

Dex freezes with his hand buried in laundry. A chill runs through the apartment.

“I ran into his mother,” Ma continues without a response. “She looks great—she says it’s yoga! I wish I had the time for something like that. But she was telling me all about Luke—you remember him, he was your hockey captain back when you were what? A sophomore?”

“A freshman,” Dex says, rough.

“Oh, that’s right. Well, anyway, his mother was telling me, he’s working with some big company out in Boston. He’s engaged! His mother says the girl is sweet as all get out, a tiny little thing. And she’s one of us, a ginger!”

Dex sits back on his couch. Small. Ginger.

“His mother’s just thrilled. It must be so nice to have a son engaged. Jay’s been with Kelsey for years, but who knows with him. Maybe I should send him Luke’s way, let that boy rub off on him!” Ma laughs. “Maybe he could rub off on you, too.”

A sick kind of laugh bubbles up in Dex’s throat. He swallows.

“It was just such a surprise. I knew all those kids you boys were friends with in high school, but I never get to hear what happens to them after, really. Luke was such a nice boy, too. It was just nice to hear about him.”

Nice. Yeah.

*~*~*

He dreams he is swallowing ice.

Someone’s mouth is on his and their tongue is heavy, leaden. Dex’s mouth catches on it, too cold, and it rips the skin from his lips until they’re bloodied. Copper stains everything, his tongue and eyes, and it rushes until he can’t hear anything but the blood.

He tries to open his eyes, and between one blink and the next the boy above him shifts, blond hair and blue eyes and too many teeth, then green and smile and salvation, and back again, sickening, spinning.

He manages to push himself away, sits up in whatever bed, ocean, driftwood, he’s on. Ma stands in the doorway. “Luke was such a nice boy,” she says, smiling, laughing. “That friend of yours, Nurse something? Is he a nice boy?” she asks, frowning suddenly, eyes intent.

“You’re wrong,” Dex goes to say, but chokes on the blood on his lips. He looks back over to the end of the bed, where Luke or Nursey or whoever is sitting, except it’s not just them anymore, it’s Jack and Hugh and Bitty, even, and they’re all staring at him.

“Good work,” they say, “If you work hard, you could take this somewhere,” they say, “Keep it up,” they say.

“She’s one of us,” Ma says, “Maybe he could rub off on you,” she says, “Nice boy,” she says.

Through it all, he can hear Nursey. “I love you,” shivers down Dex’s spine, ice. Dex swallows and swallows and tries to push through the rest of the voices to find Nursey in the haze.

Dex wakes up running and doesn’t—can’t—stop.

*~*~*

The sky is dark and the world is dizzyingly bright when Dex knocks on Nursey’s front door.

By all rights, it should be too warm to stomach. Late June, with all these people stuffed into one little place, blistering. But Dex clutches his jacket to his body, shivering. He can’t get warm. He can never get warm.

“Dex?” Nursey answers the door with a frown. Dex’s eyes catch on it and can’t pull away.

“Can I come in?” he asks.

“I—okay?”

Dex nods. He steps inside, around Nursey, and their arms brush. It burns.

“What’s going on?” Nursey asks, shutting the door.

“Are your parents home?” Dex turns around to face him. The door—big and green behind Nursey—brings out the deeper green tones in his worried eyes. Nursey’s eyes have always made Dex homesick. Now, he aches.

“No,” Nursey says. “Mom’s in Milan and Dad’s in Chicago and Mama—she’s somewhere in the UK. Why are you—”

“I need to talk to you.”

“Okay?” His face is all scrunched and his hair’s a little messy, curls hanging over his forehead, and he’s soft in Samwell pajama bottoms and so fucking gorgeous and Dex’s whole body is shaking, shivering, freezing.

“I—I’ve been having these dreams,” Dex says, hands clenching in his pockets. “For months now, these—these dreams about—” He swallows and shakes his head. “And now he’s engaged and it doesn’t—it doesn’t make sense, he—he shouldn’t get to move on when I’m drowning every fucking night, I don’t—I—”

“Dex.” Nursey is closer. Hands up, palms forward. Frowning. “What are you talking about?”

Dex shakes his head, but all of him is shaking and he doesn’t—he shouldn’t have come here. His broken brain isn’t Nursey’s problem, just because he’s in New York doesn’t mean they’re more than what they were before all this. Just because Dex’s home isn’t home anymore doesn’t mean he can build one in Nursey.

“I’m—I’m sorry, I shouldn’t—I should go.” His mouth tastes like a panic attack. How did he make the decision to come here in the middle of the night?

“Dex.” Nursey grabs onto Dex’s forearm, a brand. “Sit down. Please.”

Dex stares at Nursey’s hand. He hasn’t been warm in—it feels like years, now. It feels like he went out into the Maine winter one year with a boy’s hand curled around his wrist and frost spread from that point out and he never got warm again.

“Nursey,” Dex says, the word broken like so many shards of ice, and Nursey’s grip on his arm stutters, hesitation. Dex, without thinking, breaks the hold, and in the next moment he has his mouth pressed against Nursey and it’s warm, it’s warm, it’s—

Dex doesn’t know if he’s been alive, before this. The heat from Nursey’s mouth, soft and surprised and then—firmer, more intent, it warms him from the bones out, until his skin itches with it, sings. Dex sighs into it, slumps.

Hands come up to his cheeks, pull him back, so soft. “Dex,” Nursey says, quiet. “Can we please sit down?”

Okay, Dex thinks. He breathes. Okay.

*~*~*

Nursey makes them cocoa. In July.

Dex holds the mug between his shaking hands and explains, in starts, but mostly stops. I had this captain when I was a kid, he says, and then, not a kid, he says. Well.

“I was fourteen,” he says. “He was—older. I wanted—I wanted to be good for him.”

I was, he says, but doesn’t quite make the words work.

“Ma never knew. No one ever knew. Ma, though, she loved him. Thought he—brought me out of my shell.” He brushes his thumbs along the sides of the mug, takes a sip and licks marshmallow off his lip.

He jumps in time. “After Bitty and Jack—after the kiss, home wasn’t—home. Maybe before that, too, but—but after the kiss, everyone knew, they knew I was.” He shakes his head. “It was hard to be there. So I came here.”

She doesn’t, he says. She thinks, he says. “Ma thinks you’re gay, because you live in New York, and you go to Samwell, and it’s easier to think it’s—it’s you. Easier than thinking it’s me.”

Nursey holds back questions. Dex swallows. It’s me, he says. I talk about you. Too much. She worries. She thinks—she sees. Sees that I—that I love—hm. “She doesn’t like it,” he says, without finishing the last sentence. “It worries her. It worries me, I guess.”

He tries to put it together. The dreams—they pulled it all together. “She looks at Luke and she doesn’t—she likes him, he’s a nice boy, but he—he left me with all of these—these things, the things where I can’t have a normal relationship with my fucking boss, and all this—this cold in my body, and she doesn’t—she likes him when he is so cold and she doesn’t like you when you’re so warm and it just—I couldn’t stop thinking about how wrong it was and how angry it made me and Nursey, it’s just—it’s so—you’re so–”

Nursey curls his mug-warm hand over Dex’s knee. “Hey,” he says, quiet. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” Dex says, and he can feel the way his eyes are rimmed red, itchy, and hear the hoarseness in his throat, and feel the way that Nursey’s hand burns against his skin, and he wishes that he’d done this different, more coherently, earlier.

“No,” Nursey agrees, “it’s not. But I—it’s late. And we’re both tired. We can talk more in the morning, if you want. But I think—I think we both need to sleep.”

Dex swallows. He tastes cocoa and gratitude and—thick, clinging love. “Okay,” he breathes.

Nursey leads him up to a bedroom filled with books. Mussed blankets encourage Dex into the bed. Nursey gets in on the other side. It’s cozy and the duvet is heavy against his aching body and the ceiling is blue and Dex is not alone.

Nursey curls his hand around Dex’s, under the blankets. Dex curls back, and squeezes.

“I love,” Dex says and swallows.

“I know,” Nursey says, close, breath hot against Dex’s skin. “Me, too.”

Dex closes his eyes. He may dream. He may not. Either way, when he opens his eyes, he will not be cold.