#assorted random comments:

[crossbackpoke-check]

15 questions + 15 friends (tagged by my beloveds @whitenikes & @acheronist 🥰💕 thank you thank you!!)

1. Are you named after anyone?

technically yes… i’m named after a character in a book but my mom has never been able to remember what book 🫡

2. When was the last time you cried?

i don’t usually log frequent crier miles but i definitely cried in december (??) watching the music video for “amelia” for a variety of reasons

3. Do you have kids?

nope! i do refer to my students as my kids sometimes on accident and have freaked out more than one person by saying “my kids” lmao

4. What sports do you play/have played?

currently i play rugby, although i grew up playing a lot of sports—i did volleyball, basketball, track, and danced competitively (which is probably the sport i miss the most)

5. Do you use sarcasm?

me? using sarcasm? never :) here i usually don’t because it doesn’t come across the same over text and irl it’s usually just with people i’m comfortable with and know will get it

6. What is the first thing you notice about someone?

oooo outfit maybe? voice? context dependent for sure

7. What’s your eye color?

legally, hazel. illegally, whatever color the nearest person to me says that they are at the time

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

happy endings :)

9. Any talents?

(insert the quinn hughes 😬 on the bench reaction meme please i’m trying ok!!)

i can bake pretty decently! athletic if that’s a talent? i would love to learn how to do more artsy things (got a crochet kit & paint with watercolor sometimes)

10. Where were you born?

michigan 🧤<- not a mitten but i’d show you where i’m from on it if i could

11. What are your hobbies?

reading, although i never have as much time to read as i want to (send me book recs please)… i count sports as a hobby and i just got a really pretty new puzzle! also, obviously, hockey.

12. Do you have any pets?

yes!!! i have a canary and a society finch (orville and duncan), a hypo corn snake (apollo! he has hearts on his head!), and two cats (john watson and effie). in the future i’d love to have a dog again, since i just lost him this past summer

13. How tall are you?

moritz seider (5’3”)

14. Favorite subject in school?

real hot girls speak german 💅 it’s either that or biology but i feel like that’s little bit of a cop out

15. Dream job?

re: the cop out above, dream job is working as a veterinarian for a zoo! so it makes sense i love biology lol

tagging @songsandswords @kj-op @hiding-from-reality-56 @catboy-mahura and anyone else who’d like to and hasn’t done it already!!

[unproduciblesmackdown]

patron saint like "what if banana were enduring that....Not Doing Anything To Stop It / people pleasing / going oh i mean it's gotta be good actually...." well i'd be like that's just fine of you banana. well it's not your fault & i feel only sympathy & indeed would wish you better but if it doesn't come along for anything you did or didn't do my support doesn't change banana

[aliengummy]

[registeredvampirelair]

Time goes by~ :)

[himbosandhardwear]

Steve is rifling through Eddie's collection of magazines, while he's waiting on Eddie and Wayne to get done fixing the dryer(Wayne's fixing, Eddie's getting in the way it sounds like), when he realizes how insane the assortment is; Heavy Metal, Car and Driver, Rolling Stone, National Geographic, OMNI, MAD, even a copy of Good Housekeeping. It's all so Eddie though, to have so many varying interests. He's a little jealous, if he's being honest with himself.

"You have a lot of stuff," he comments when Eddie comes back, closing the copy of Rolling Stone.

"Oh, yeah, sorry, let me just..." He starts kicking a pile of clothes under the bed.

Steve huffs a laugh. "No, I meant you have a lot of interests." He waves the magazine. "Hobbies and stuff."

Eddie nods, continues to shove piles of stuff under the bed anyway. "I guess, yeah. I tend to jump from thing to thing though. Last night it was painting miniatures, tonight it could be writing a song. I don't really get a say in which one. Oh, nice, I've been looking for this," he says, holding up a random T-shirt.

He watches Eddie get distracted by the new discovery and leave the rest of the pile where it's at, smiling to himself as Eddie goes on a tangent about merch vendors at concerts being the real enemy of the people.

"How do you know what you like?" Steve inadvertently blurts out during a gap in Eddie's tale.

He turns toward Steve. "What do you mean?"

What does he mean? "I guess... It's just, I like cars and sports and girls. That's, like, kind of it. And since I started being friends with Henderson and Robin and you I've figured out that's, like, the most basic shit a guy could be into. Level One Dude Interests. So, I guess I just want to know how you find other things? And how will I know if I'm interested?"

"Hmm." He frowns softly. "I've never had to think about it before. I kinda just...fall into things. I like it or I don't."

"Okay, but what's it feel like?"

Eddie puts the shirt down, forgotten again in a moment, and sits. "What does it feel like when you think about cars and sports and girls?"

Steve really thinks about it. Nothing is as consuming as when he was younger, but he does remember a vague sense of excitement, a feeling of connection with the people he surrounded himself with, who shared his interests. But he hasn't felt that in a while. Maybe he wasn't as into those things as he thought, was only into the connection.

"You're having very deep thoughts over there," Eddie points out with a grin.

"Shut up." He grins back. "I think maybe I don't actually know what it feels like to like something because I like it, not just because everyone else likes it. You know what I mean?"

"Well, yes but no." He waves both hands to indicate his person and also the chaos of the room around them.

"See? This is why I'm asking you. If anyone can help me figure out what I like it's you."

Eddie slaps both hands together and rubs. "A project! Excellent idea!"

Wasn't his idea but sure.

"First we have to get you exposure to new things. Movies, TV, music, culture. Then we'll rate how you feel about each demographic. Your music taste is already improving so that's good. Movies, I'm thinking 12 Angry Men to start. Food? Authentic Mexican. We're gonna get you excited about shit!" He seems excited enough for the both of them, which is great. "Excitement is key! You want enthusiasm, yearning even. Your interests should consume your every waking thought. When I'm consuming a new hobby, I'm focused like a shark, I'm obsessed. I go to bed thinking about it and wake up thinking about it. Excited to get back to whatever it is. I wanna talk about it, share it with other people. Complete and total immersion. You wanna marry that interest. You know what I mean?"

Steve blinks at him, stunned into silence. Eddie's just described how Steve feels about him...

Oh.

Oh.

[sketchy-tour]

Ksjdjdjdjdjsjdjfjdjjdjfjd AAAAAAA THIS IS SO LOVELY! Stunning! Just so so adorable!!! I love your art to pieces, this is just so aaaaaa!! I adore your ocs design by! The! Way! Absolutely precious!

Omg they are frienddds

cute collab belongs to: @sketchy-tour hehehe GO NOW AND DRAW YOUR OC TOO!!!!

[tojigasm]

logan would be absolutely mortified by the concept of girl dinner - like he’s big on a balanced diet and proper food so when he sees his best girl snack on a random assortment of ingredients he’s not having that!!

He doesn't even register that it's a meal at first when you plop down next to him at the island. The random assortment of small nuts and fruits thrown together in such a way that he thinks you were attempting to make it aesthetically pleasing to the eye almost makes him snort.

A part of him wants to make some comment on you pregamming dinner, but he settles with a "The hell is that?" Instead, mouth full of his dinner.

"My dinner." You say, digging your fork into the mess.

He nearly chokes at that.

"The hell it is." Logan grabs the bowl from you and walks it over to the trash, dumping the contents of it into the garbage, ignoring your protests.

"That wasn't nice, Logan." You cross your arms over your chest, dropping into the backrest of the barstool chair.

Rolling his eyes, he grabs his keys from the counter top, making his way past you and towards the entry way of the kitchen.

"C'mon, let's go."

You narrow your eyes at the man, ruffled by his behavior.

"Where are we going?" You snap at him.

"To get actual food, now get over here." He pushes the front door open.

You hurriedly make your way over to him and through the door, mumbling a snarky "Thank you."

Logan hums, "Mhm, you freak."

[lucauali]

princess treatment - michael kaiser

warning: suggestive but not fully nsfw, kissing, sensual touching, groping, kinda bratty attitude but mostly in a playful way, reader wears a dress and heels

this is very loosely inspired by that one tik tok trend about having a princess attitude and it made me think of him <3

205k likes, 30k comments, and 1.7mil views in less than three hours. 

When Michael posted the tik tok featuring you as his one and only, you knew it would probably garner some attention, but not this much. Not only was it a hard launch for your relationship, it also showed bits of pieces of what it was like to be Michael Kaiser’s partner:

-

It was late into the night and all you could think about was satisfying your midnight cravings. 

You got out of bed and slipped on some shorts and a random shirt that you found in Michael’s closet. The plan was to silently leave the apartment and go grab the food you craved before Michael could notice your absence. Said plan, however, fell through as soon as you grabbed the door knob of the bedroom. 

“Mein Liebchen, where are you going?” Michael’s groggy voice interrupted you. The German sat up as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. He pat the empty space next to him and urged you to go back to him. 

You felt bad for waking him up, especially when he looked so sweet and precious in his tired state, “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t mean to wake you up. Go back to sleep, I’m gonna run out at get a snack. I’ll be back soon.” 

You tried to leave again, but you heard the sheets shuffling on the bed. Michael was walking towards you with his eyes barely open. 

“I’ll drive you. Wanna stay with you.” He tried reaching for you hand and finally found it after a few attempts due to the lack of light in the room. You tried to reassure him that you could manage by yourself and he needed to rest, but he insisted on going with you. 

This led to you being in the passenger seat of Michael’s Porsche as he drove to the closest McDonald’s. His hand was caressing your bare thigh as you both hummed along to whatever song was playing on the radio. 

Only Michael would take you to McDonald’s to satiate your spicy nugget craving in the middle of the night. 

-

After another successful victory for Bastard Munchen, Michael wanted to take you out to a fancy dinner. 

“Are you sure you don’t wanna go to the after party? I don’t want to take away you away from your team and ruin the post-game excitement.” Michael simply huffed at the inquiry as he adjusted the rolled up sleeves of his button down dress shirt. 

“Yes, I’m sure. They’re probably just going to the club. After all, they don’t have an angel of a partner waiting for them at home like I do.” Michael winked at you and laughed as you rolled your eyes at his last statement. 

You walked over to the assortment of clothes you had as options for tonight, “okay fine, but don’t complain when you get bombarded with texts and calls from Ness and the others begging for you to join them.” 

Michael completely ignored your statement and stood flush to your back, examining your options. 

“Wear the red dress. The one with the slit.” His hands lay on your hips and slowly rubbed up and down your sides. 

“Since you’re begging for me to wear it, I guess I have to.” You let out an exaggerate, but amused sigh as you felt Michael smile against the back of your neck. You slipped into the sleek dress with a pair of heels and applied makeup as quickly as possible. All the while, Michael wouldn’t let you go. Even as you were applying your favorite lip combo, he insisted you do so while sitting on his lap. His tattooed hand grazed tour thigh that was exposed by the slit. 

“On second thought, let’s just stay here.” The sheer audacity to say that as you were getting ready made you side eye the blond through the mirror of your vanity. 

Michael giggled as you simply ignored his suggestion, “I’m kidding, Meine Prinzessin, don’t worry. As much as I would like to keep you here for my eyes only, I want to show you off as much as I can.” He kissed the nape of your neck. You knew that his club manager’s request to keep your relationship a secret was starting to get to him. He had done well to keep it low key for the past year and seven months. 

You turned around so you could see him and  grasped at his pouty cheeks. It was a sight that you hoped only you would ever behold. Placing a gentle kiss on his pouted lips, you leaned your forehead against his. Michael closed his eyes and just basked in your presence and warmth. After a few minutes, he suddenly lifted you up bridal style and made his way to the front door. You giggled as he carried you all the way to the Porsche. 

You’re the only person in the world that Michael would choose to celebrate with in such an intimate way. 

-

Even as you scrolled through all the comments from the video, the buzzing didn’t cease. Thus, your beloved woke up from his midday nap, it’s for his much needed beauty sleep, he claims. Michael lifted his head from your stomach with his eyes closed, as he tends to do. His arms that surround your middle section squeezed just a tad tighter as he groaned and grumbled.

“What are you looking at? Put that down and nap with me.” You ignored his demand and simply turned your phone towards him. It took him a few seconds to adjust his eyes before he started to absorb what was in front of him. The smug grin on his face was expected due to the comments you saw that praised him as ‘god-tier’ boyfriend material. As fast as his smile appeared, it vanished.

Michael abruptly sat up with a mortified look on his face, “excuse me?! Did you see this? User ‘iluvkais3r’ said that you should leave me!” You actually didn’t see that comment, but it still made you let out a full belly laugh. Michael scoffed and pushed his face back into your stomach while grumbling incoherent words. Your hand found its place in his hair and you scratch his scalp. After a few minutes, you felt his breathing pattern even back out. Putting your phone down, you chose to join him in his state of slumber.

[abraxo-official]

Companion rambles: could they operate a vehicle + other random assortment of headcannons

Curie:

Knows every single part of a car. Knows every driving safety rule. Do not let her near a vehicle. Her driving style is mad-max levels of fear. She will giggle and comment about how much fun she’s having, and how she wishes she did this sooner. Danger level: 9/10. You won’t die but you’ll never look at a corvega the same.

Cait:

In trying to hotwire it, will either blow it up or will turn it on for just enough time that the alarm goes off. If she did find a functioning one, it would probably end up in a ditch. Danger level: 7/10

Deacon:

He can drive, but in the same way that a elderly person would: you don’t know if he should be behind the wheel, but goddamn it if he’s not going to Tokyo drift into the last parking spot in front of the super-duper mart. Danger level: 5/10

Danse:

Why concern himself with pre-war ruins that aren’t even technologically interesting? He *technically* can fly vertibirds, but also…heights get to him sometimes. If he did have a car, he would dive super safe and basically act like a midwestern dad. Do NOT try and merge without signaling in front of him. Danger level: 2/10

Mac:

Really good at taking cars apart. Only knows about driving from comics. TBH I think he would be the type to only learn how to ride a bike at 10+ years old. He can’t even start the car. Danger level: 0/10

Hancock:

Would try to drive but would get either lost or just confused after about a half hour. Would probably try to add a bunch of stuff on top, like a missile launcher or a turret. It would be so decked out that it wouldn’t even be functional anymore. Would take joy in doing demolition derbies with Mac. Danger level: 3/10

Piper:

She knows how a car works, but like, only from reading 4 pages of a really old manual when she was board. She claims to defunct know how they work, but has no idea what to do when she lifts the hood. Either causes an explosion or ends up breaking at least one part. Never gets it moving. 6/10

Gage:

He can probably figure it out after about a day or two of trying to compare it to a coaster. When he does start it, I think he would actually hate driving. He’s the sole one in control, with his foot on the gas the whole time, and there is no way in hell he is ready for that. Would probably make up some excuse about how raiders don’t need to use cars to make their points. 2/10

Preston:

The safest driver in the world at first, but then he starts going after bigger things. Trucks would help with transporting supplies to settlements, he argues. If we had a garrison of tanks, imagine how many people we could protect, etc. He’s not wrong, and not bad at driving, but he really needs to stop adopting every bubble-top he comes across. 3/10

Nick:

Can drive. Will drive. Then will have to confront the reality of his muscle memory being from a person he never really was. He’ll still take a spin now and then, especially if going long distances, but he prefers to walk. It’s more….him. 1/10

Longfellow:

Cars, no. Boats? Hell yeah. He’s taught just about every sailor far harbor has. But try to get him to drive on land and he will straight out refuse. It’s not who he is. 0/10

Strong:

No. Car for throwing. Inside small, only for weak human. No need metal shell to go fast. 0/10

Dogmeat:

Sticks his head out the window. Can honk the horn. 0/10

Codsworth:

Listen, somewhere in his programming is knowing how to drive a car. Also how to assemble one from 4 cans and a high powered magnet. Can drive it either completely normal and safe or in a way that would make vin diesel scared. 7/10

X6:

Danger level: 10/10. He would succeed in the way Hancock could not. He turns it into a weapon. Stuff of nightmares. Avoid at all costs.

[siredtoelijah44]

Beautiful - Klaus Mikaelson

warnings: just pure fluff, human!Klaus, teenage!Klaus, pre-relationship yearning, f!reader

word count: 1219

She was out in the woods. Klaus had known she would be out there. If he couldn’t find her with Rebekah, she was in the woods. He’d learned that about her quickly – she loved nature. He found her in the field of wildflowers just outside the village more times than he could count. She’d often drag him to the lake a little ways outside of the village when it was warm. And he was glad for her knowledge of the area. It gave him a safe haven to hide when his father was angry.

When Klaus finally found her, he couldn’t help the butterflies that erupted in his stomach. She was wading in the stream that led to the lake. Her shoes were discarded near the bank and her dress was tied in a knot at the front to keep it from getting soaked by the water. Her hair was left down her back, instead of the normal braid he saw her with. The sunlight made it look like she had a halo. She was bent over, her hand running through the water. 

It seemed each day he saw she grew more beautiful. He cleared his throat, his mouth suddenly feeling dry. 

The noise caught her attention. Eyes flickered up to meet his own, her brows furrowed in confusion. But once it had been noted that it was simply Niklaus invading her space her face relaxed. A smile crept up her lips, making her eyes sparkle. “Nik!” 

He swallowed thickly. “Hello.” He raked his eyes over her. “What are you doing?” 

“Looking for rocks,” she chirped, turning her attention back to the rocks. 

He raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment. She was always doing one odd thing or another. And she had a tendency to search for “pretty things” as she’d phrased it to Klaus. He’d seen her collect everything from flowers, to rocks and an assortment of random objects. Every time he was in her home, there was something new displayed. 

Klaus peeled off his boots and rolled up his trousers, before stepping into the water next to her. If she wished to search for rocks, he’d aid her. And the cool water was pleasant in the heat. The summer months were nearly unbearable at times. 

He watched as an all too familiar grin creeped across her lips. Before he could figure out just exactly what she was planning, she kicked her leg through the water, splashing him. “Oh you are going to pay for that,” he said, lunging for her. 

She bolted before he could grab her. She’d always been quick on her feet. He chased her down the stream. He finally managed to get close enough to grab her, pulling her back against his chest. He scooped her off her feet, lowering her towards the water.

“No,” she squealed, giggling too as he threatened to drop her. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

He smiled, enjoying the way she felt in his arms more than he should. “Oh you’re sorry now, little witch? You should’ve thought about that sooner.” With that he set her into the water. It was shallow so he was careful to not let her fall too hard. 

She huffed as her butt landed against the rocks. The water immediately soaked her dress. “Nik,” she practically whined his name. “That’s not fair! I barely splashed you.” 

“Oh hush,” he said. “No need to whine about it.” 

She glared up at him. He offered her his hand to help her up. She grabbed his hand and he regretted offering it when she pulled him down. He tried to break his fall so as to not crush her underneath him, but he still landed on top of her. 

Her laugh filled his ears. “Really?” he raised an eyebrow, unamused by her antics. 

“You started it.” 

“No I did not. You did.”

“I barely splashed you. You dropped me in the water. This was simply retribution.” 

“Me dropping you in the water was already retribution.” 

She shrugged. Klaus rolled his eyes. He shifted off of her, kneeling in the water. He was already soaked – as was she – so it didn’t matter if he got wet now. He scooped up a handful of water, splashing it in her face. 

She sputtered as the water hit her face. “Niklaus!” 

“Don’t start something you can’t finish.” 

By the time they called a truce, both were drenched in water. They laid on the bank of the stream. She could hardly breathe from how much she’d been laughing. It made her stomach hurt too. Klaus laid next to her, just as out of breath. They’d been chasing each other around, splashing around in the water for hours. 

Their shoulders brushed against each other as they laid there. She turned her head to look at Klaus properly. He did the same, meeting her eyes. 

The sun was setting but he couldn’t bring himself to move. She was looking at him with those eyes. There was something in them that he couldn’t quite place. He watched her intently. 

“You’re beautiful.” The words slipped out before he could stop them. He’d been thinking it for ages. After all, he was fifteen now. Girls were something on his mind these days. Mostly her. No one else quite made him feel like she did. 

Her cheeks burned, her face turning pink as she looked away. She cleared her throat before looking back at him. “The sun is almost gone,” she mumrued.She was trying to ignore the palpable tension between them.  “My mother will be expecting me soon.”  

He nodded. “Right. Yes.” He sat up, scratching the back of his neck. “I’ll walk you.”

She smiled softly. He stood up, offering her his hand. She took it and he pulled her to her feet. She stepped back from him. She was clearly nervous. He felt bad. She had come out of her shell a lot in the past few years but it seemed like his words made her clam up again. 

They walked quietly through the trees. Klaus was bubbling with feelings and things he wanted to say. He felt bad for scaring her off and didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable because of what he’d said. His mind was running through every horrible possibility when her shoulder bumped against his. He glanced at her. 

She was smiling softly. She’d clearly done it on purpose. It was her silent way of saying they were still okay. It was normal for her to playfully bump into them as they walked. Klaus relaxed even further as her pinky curled around his own. It was a simple gesture, but one he treasured.

Soon enough they arrived at her doorstep. The sun was nearly all the way gone now. They stood there for a moment. 

“Goodnight, Nik,” she finally said, breaking the silence. Before he could react, she’d pressed her lips to his cheek. He was stunned for a moment. He watched as she scurried towards her door. 

It took him a moment to finally find his voice again. “Goodnight,” he called after her, watching her door close. He smiled to himself. He brushed his finger across his cheek where she’d kissed. She’d never done that before. 

Klaus smiled all the way home and she fell asleep with him on her mind.

[withleeknow]

how he would take care of you during shark week. ⤷ chan / minho / changbin / hyunjin / jisung / felix / seungmin / jeongin

pairing: jisung x f!reader genre/warnings: established relationship, fluff, mentions of periods bc duhhh erhm note: ok so i'm REALLY not sure what this is lmao but i switched up entirely compared to the first installation (with minho) and i think this is the format i'll be sticking with for the rest of the members. i'm still just experimenting and trying to figure how i want to approach doing drabbles/drabble series like this so pls bear with me a little for now lol

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

main masterlist / blurb masterlist / ko-fi

jisung, who can't be trusted with even the simplest of tasks. you should've known better. (and honestly? you did know better, which probably makes the whole thing so much worse.)

jisung, whom you ask to run to the store just because you were too lazy to brave the evening chill yourself and get the shit you need.

jisung, who texts you what size pussy u wear? while he stands in the middle of the aisle, feeling like he's illiterate as he's surrounded by products of different colors and shapes and sizes and wings.

jisung, whose eyes catch a specific pink packaging with pretty flowers that makes him pull out his phone and snap you a picture. this one looks better. yours is boring, he'd text you, to which you'd replied with a dozen question marks before calling him an idiot and telling him to leave the fancy pads and hurry home with the ones you usually use.

jisung, who returns about thirty minutes later holding two large bags in his hands, which definitely contain a lot more than what you had sent him out for - just a pack of overnight pads and some sweets.

jisung, who kisses you in greeting as your eyes narrow suspiciously, then he'd proudly show off the goodies that you didn't need - an assortment of sour candies and chocolates, chips, ice cream bars, your favorite cookies, and lastly, a random purple pouch.

jisung, whose love language looks a lot like making you get diabetes whenever your time of the month rolls around.

jisung, who beams like a kid in a candy store when you ask him about the pouch with a brow raised. "look!" he'd beam, holding the little thing up like it's the most magical invention he's ever come across in his entire life. "it holds your pads! and it has unicorns on it!"

jisung, who doesn't deflate at all when you tell him that you already have one, but instead, he'd tell you to ditch the one you have because it's too "boring" (re: it doesn't have unicorns.)

jisung, who volunteers to carry the pouch for you the next time you go out together, musing to himself about whether or not he should add a little strap so he could wear it like a crossbody bag, not even batting an eye when you stare at him and gape in disbelief.

jisung, who really uses your shark week as an excuse to buy dumb shit for himself and stuff you full of treats.

all rights reserved © withleeknow. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 25.04.2024]

[ladyartemesia]

So this is really random but one of my drabble requests was for a Yoongi Soulmate scenario and I started writing it and I’m having so much fun SO I thought I’d give you guys a sneak peak! I’m hoping to have it up soon!

Roommate AU/Soulmate AU Preview • Yoongi

“Whatever you do, don’t mention soulmates.”

Kim Namjoon spent the last twenty minutes of your lunch break talking up his friend and trying to convince you to take him in as a roommate—

Only to make that weird comment and have you reconsidering your tentative acceptance.

“Okay…Is there a story to go with that cryptic declaration?”

Joon shook his head.

“I mean I don’t know if it’s my place—“

“Kim Namjoon, before I let some random man move into my place you’re gonna need to tell me why I can’t talk about soulmates. Everybody talks about soulmates. It’s what we do as a society. It’s like the weather—“

Joon snorted.

“Not Yoongi.”

“And the reason is?”

The two of you had a brief but intense staring contest.

“Alright fine—So… Yoongi was engaged.”

“To his soulmate?”

“No.”

“Oh…….Oh?”

Namjoon held up a finger—indicating that you should wait while he finished chewing his sandwich.

“He loved her—like a lot.”

“But they weren’t soulmates?”

“That didn’t matter to him. He said the whole system was stupid and didn’t mean anything.”

You chuckled.

“Bold words. I assume he had to eat them?”

Namjoon tilted his head in agreement.

“Yeah—he thought she was fine with it—the engagement was moving forward—and Yoongi was really happy….,”—he sighed and you unconsciously leaned in for the big reveal, —“until a soul mark popped up on her arm.”

Your mouth dropped open.

“What—noooo—she—she cheated on him?!”

There was only one way to get a soul mark.

Your soulmate had to see you without…clothes.

Like totally nude.

Fully naked.

Which meant Yoongi’s fiancé had gotten fully naked with somebody else.

No wonder he needed a place to stay.

Joon nodded.

“Seriously, don’t mention soulmates.”

• —— • ——— • —— • ——— • —— •——— •

As it turned out, you didn’t need to worry about mentioning soulmates to Yoongi—because the man barely spoke to you at all for the first three months you lived together.

Instead he communicated through a series of grunts, hums, and other assorted noises that you (surprisingly) became fluent in pretty quickly.

Once you even figured out that the milk carton was empty because Yoongi opened the fridge and sighed a certain way.

However, despite his aloof nature and interesting communicative habits, it was immediately clear why someone might be willing to throw over their hypothetical soulmate for him.

Min Yoongi was bloomin’ gorgeous.

And the few words you did hear him speak sounded like liquid sin on a cookie so—

Yeah.

[mur-art]

My entry for @wttt-week day 1: Table News. “5 Points.”

Inspired by the lovely emails I get from DOGE at work. 🙃 I wondered how each of the States would react to being asked by a sketchy quasi-government agency what they did last week, and this is the result!

Contains a random assortment of news stories from the past couple months (I started working on it in early Feb and THINGS KEPT HAPPENING 😂)

A HUGE thank you to @freshwolfhell for putting all this together as a TikTok (bc I DO NOT understand TikTok at all lmao)!

Details and links to various news articles that inspired this video under the cut:

-“5 Points”: inspired by my own experience in recent weeks. In case you are unaware, at the beginning of the T**** administration, when Elon Musk first took over DOGE a.k.a. The “Department of Government Efficiency,” he immediately set out to target Federal Employees as useless and lazy. He spread rumors that Feds do nothing all day and began sending out super patronizing emails making us list “5 points” we do every week. As if we aren’t already held accountable at multiple levels already 🙄)

-Musk’s “5 Points” email demand plagued by bounce-backs, clogged inbox

-Yosemite park rangers protest DOGE cuts by hanging upside-down flag from waterfall at park

-Legislation proposing to designate the Texas Almanac as the official Texas State Book

-Texas lawmaker pushes to recognize cannon as official state gun

-Texas bill targets “furries”

-Danish petition to buy California attracts hundreds of thousands of signatures

-Measles outbreak in Texas

-CDC, NIH and more health agencies brace for layoffs with DOGE

-Dysentery outbreak hits Oregon

-Train robbery in northern Arizona targeting Nike shoes leads to 80-mile police chase

-Canada PM Mark Carney says old relationship with US 'is over'

-Trump officials texted attack plans to a group chat in a secure app that included a journalist

Florida’s comment is in reference to the fact that people playing War Thunder occasionally end up sharing classified government secrets in game group chats 😅

The rest is just what I think would be in character for them.

[yapperblog]

Belongings

Tags: established relationship, smut with tiny bit of plot, +18

Explicit RPF below don't interact if you are not comfortable with that

You watch Joost take things out of his pockets and put on the top of your dresser while he tells you about his day. The gesture is so simple, yet so intimate. You love seeing his belongings around your apartment, it serves as a little reminder that he is really yours.

He turns to you briefly and smiles to himself mid sentence at the fact that you are watching him so intently from your bed, already in your pyjamas. Your bed looks so warm and comfortable, it has been a miserable rainy day, he can't wait to get in and nestle into your waiting arms. His favorite place in the world.

He takes off his puffy jacket and leaves it on the chair nearby, revealing the hoodie he is wearing underneath. He throws his hat onto the same chair and runs a hand through his hair to tame it after wearing a hat all day. You see him reach into his pockets, taking out his phone, wallet, a pack of cigarettes, a lighter and random receipts he collected throughout the day, leaving it all on your dresser. You smile listening to him to talk and the sound of clatter.

He also puts the keys to your apartment next to the assortment of his belongings. You gave him the keys a couple of months ago, so that he could come over any time he wants or if you accidentally fall asleep waiting for him after a long day of working in the studio or traveling and he could still come in. He prefers coming straight to you instead of sleeping alone at his own place and coming over in the morning. He sleeps so much better in your embrace and especially after long hours he needs it. He put the keys you gave him on his own keychain next to all of his own, and added a charm which reminds him of you.

"There is leftover dinner in the kitchen, if you want." you say as he takes off his watch and rubs his wrist.

"We ordered takeaway to the studio, but thank you." he turns to look at you and smiles. Even a small gesture of offering him dinner wakes up the butterflies in his stomach. He loves being taken care of, knowing you cooked having him in mind spreads a warm feeling all over his body. He asks about your day, and while you tell him, he continues to undress watching you talk explaining something with your hands. He takes off his hoodie and it leaves him only in a tight white tank top and jeans.

You try to continue telling your story without stumbling over words, while he is leaning against your dresser, nodding listening you, his hard nipples and chest hair visible through the tank top. He truly is the most beautiful person you have ever laid your eyes own, not only is it difficult to talk under his gaze, you try not to drool at the sight before you.

"My eyes are up here." he points to his eyes with two fingers and laughs. He starts to take off his jeans, undoing the belt and zipper slowly, looking into your eyes, pulling it down his thighs slowly.

You whistle as if catcalling him as a joke. "Really hard to keep my eyes up there, hot stuff."

You've been together for quite some time now, but it never gets old seeing him undress before you. He turns around and folds the jeans putting them on the same chair his other clothes are piled on. You take the opportunity to admire how good his ass looks. As much as he loves giving you a light spank on your bottom in private when you walk past, you are obsessed with his as much.

He tries to act so tough and laugh it off, but you see him blush. At the same time your comments and seeing how much you love his body feeds his confidence and makes him bolder.

"Kind of unfair you are all covered under the blanket, don't you think?" he takes off his glasses and comes to stand at the end of the bed, as he takes off the tank top leaving him only in black Polo Ralph Lauren boxer briefs. His tattoos now on full display for you.

You move the blanket, feeling the cold air in the room invade your body, you pat the bed next to you inviting him in, your arms open. He moves quickly into your embrace, puts his arms tightly around you, and buries his head into your neck. You hear him let out a breath, tickling your neck.

"So nice to finally be back." he murmurs into your skin, you feel his body relax as he puts more of his weight on you. He faintly smells of a drink he must have had earlier and cigarettes. You wrap your arms around him, enjoying the feel and smell of him. One of your hands slowly moves in circles on his back, while the other is tangled in his hair. You notice how long it has gotten and remember the time when he asked if you could cut his hair during quarantine, when you were still friends and came to a mutual conclusion that you will stay at his apartment, because you both couldn't bear the thought of not seeing each other daily. You butchered the haircut horribly and it makes you chuckle at the memory.

He lifts his head, studying your face. His eyes are blazing, it might be a trick of the warm light coming from the bedside lamp, but you still feel the heat coming off of him. His gaze drops to your lips. He licks his own and leans in to kiss you. His soft lips touch yours and you melt under him, savouring the feeling. You can't help but moan as he moves you even closer to him, not leaving an inch of space between you. He angles his head to deepen the kiss, his moustache tickling your upper lip. As he moves on top of you, your pyjama top rides up a little and you feel his soft stomach press into yours.

"Did you miss me?" he asks as he pulls away.

You pretend to think, tapping your finger on your chin. "Umm. No, I didn't." you joke to tease him.

Corners of his lips turn into a smirk. "Yeah?"

He moves his leg to slip in between yours, slotting it perfectly against you. You stiffen a moan feeling his thigh stimulate you slightly, your arms tighten around his shoulders.

"Didn't miss me at all?" his arm moves under your top, slowly caressing your waist. His hand is still a little cold against your warm skin and it leaves a trace of goosebumps under his touch. He sees your eyes get darker with need.

You need more of him, you lean in to kiss him, but he leans away just out of your reach. "No no, admit it." he says a teasing note in his voice and smiles, a dimple revealing itself.

"You are unbelievable." you laugh and are once again proven that you can never out-tease him. He always wins in that game. "I missed you so much" you put your hands on the sides of his face and bring him closer, placing kisses on both his cheeks. "So so much" a kiss to his forehead. He is basking in your affection, his eyes closed, fully enjoying your words and actions. He jokes that he wants to hear you say that you missed him, but in reality he actually craves confirmation, even though in his heart he knows the truth already.

Your lips finally reach his. With a self-satisfied look he leans in closer whispering "That's right." His mouth catches yours roughly as he covers your body with his. You moan at the pressure and his hands tighten on your waist. Your lips part for his tongue, the tang of the drink he had and the taste of cigarettes tangling pleasantly in your mouth, because this taste belongs to him.

It feels like you are dissolving, turning into liquid under him. His mouth moves down your jaw, over your throat. Your hands scrape through his blonde hair, a little damp because he must have gotten caught in the rain outside. He lets out a low groan, his hand moving up to your chest, fingers brushing over your nipple. He keeps squeezing your boob with one hand, pinching and twisting your nipple, making your back arch, his leg which is still in between yours, adding delicious pressure.

He undoes the top buttons of your pyjama top to reveal your chest to him and continues to kiss lower down your neck, your collarbones, chest. "So beautiful" he says in between kisses finally reaching the neglected nipple, he wraps his lips around it sucking into his mouth. Your breath hitches and hands skim up his back, fingernails sinking into his warm smooth skin.

A loud moan escapes you. He doesn't tease you for it, it only urges him on further. You want him to see you like this and know he is the reason why. His hands move slowly to your sides, pressing himself flush against you, he starts to help you move against his leg slotted in between your legs. He feels how wet you got through your panties, a low hum rumbles through him.

"So wet for me already" his mouth moves to the side of your throat, teeth sinking into your collarbone. "You should not miss me more often."

Your laugh dies in your throat as he rolls his hips against your side, friction of his stomach and hard cock electric. "I bet I could slip right in already." his hand moves down your stomach, his hand looks big splayed on you, it makes your pussy clench at the thought. He stops at the waistband of your panties, looking up at you asking for permission.

"Please, Joost, don't stop." you whine giving him a green flag.

His fingers move past the waistband, reaching exactly where you need him, through your folds, feeling how wet you are. His finger enters you, feeling you squeeze tightly. He starts to move inside you, making scissoring motions and adding a second finger to stretch you and get ready for him. In return, you reach between you and palm him through his boxers. You want to feel him hot and bothered for you too.

"Fuck." he hisses, his head tilting back at your touch. You reach into his boxers, wrapping your hand around him, feeling his hard and heavy cock, tip already leaking pre-cum. You've always loved how much your pleasure turns him on. He groans as he moves himself within your hand.

You push his boxers down, and continue to stroke him with one hand.

"I want you inside of me." you say, your voice raspy from how worked up he got you.

He nods quickly and stands up to take off his underwear fully, at the same time you take off your top and panties, laying down ready for him. He crawls in bed, maintaining eye contact, until he settles in between your legs.

"I want you so bad." you say to him, encouraging him to continue.

"I love hearing you say it." he confesses, but you already knew it.

He moves his hand up and down his length a couple of times and leans in to line himself up with your hole and finally pushes into you. Slowly, carefully, his face only inches from yours. As much as he loves being adventurous with you in bed, trying new positions, missionary on days like this, when the thought of you wouldn't leave his head all day, seeing you so wet and ready for him, is all he wants.

As you move together, it is as if the world around you stops, you hear the rain drops hit against the window, but you are sure no one else exists in this moment, only the two of you.

His hands try to touch you everywhere at once, yours splayed across his shoulders. He looks into your eyes, trying to reach your soul. He thrusts deeper, harder.

"Fuck, Joost."

"Too much?" he asks, slowing.

You shake your head no, he understands and continues with no restraint.

"I thought about you all day." you say. "Thought about touching myself at the memory of us together. But I didn't, I was waiting for you." your voice breathy, from his thrusts.

Your words make his head spin. He can't believe you want him as much as he wants you. You feel him twitch inside of you. You don't want this moment to ever end.

"But even my imagination wouldn't be as good as this" you say. Your voice and confessions make it so hard for him to last.

"You are perfect." He leans in to kiss you. "Get on your hands and knees for me."

He helps you turn around, easily moving your body. He lines up and pushes back into you. You brace yourself on your arms, in this position he can reach even deeper, setting a steady pace. The sound of your mixed moans and skin slapping filling the room. You can feel the bulge forming in your stomach how deep he is in you.

One of his stays on your hip moving you as he wants, the other wraps around your torso to reach you clit, he starts to draw fast circles and your arms give out, your back arching for even a better angle for the both of you.

"You feel so good around me." he says, voice strained, thrusts getting harder and faster, his own peak nearing.

You bury your face into the pillow and let out a loud moan "Fuckfuckfuck, I'm cuming." as you reach your climax, he feels you squeeze impossibly tight around him. Something about this night, being so needy for him all day, watching him undress, seeing his belongings in every corner of your apartment made your climax the strongest in a while.

He manages a few more thrusts, his chest now pressed to your back, both hands holding your hips, chasing his own release. You are glad he is holding you, otherwise your legs would have given up too. With a low groan pressed tightly against you feel him release into you, as his thrusts come to a gradual stop, as he stuffs his cum inside of you.

He massages your asscheeks and starts to pull out, seeing your mixed release, trickle down your thigh.

He wants to keep it all in, but knows how overstimulated you must be, so he doesn't, instead he plops down next to you.

You put your head on his chest, which is now sticky with sweat, but you don't mind. You kiss his hairy chest, looking up at him, your eyes full of love for him.

He reaches down to kiss you, but he starts smiling so wide, it turns into a clash of teeth. You both laugh and then settle into comfortable silence, as you listen to his steady heartbeat and he draws mindless patterns on your arm with his fingers, enjoying the closeness.

"I am actually really keen on the leftover dinner." he says. "I just wanted you first."

He feels you laugh against his stomach. "Let's get cleaned up and then eat" you suggest.

[skyahri]

Shock Part Two |Kakashi Hatake X Reader|

Part One

Summary: It’s been two weeks since you showed up on Kakashi’s doorstep. How has so much changed in so little time?

Warnings: Idk where I was going with this so it's based around a ✨️vibe✨️

- - - - -

"How are the stitches?"

"Had them taken out this morning, actually. Your handiwork got a lot of compliments, by the way."

"I couldn't have you running around with such a grisly scar, now could I?"

"Oh, it's still a gruesome sight."

"I suppose you'll have to show me sometime."

"Never thought I'd live to see the day the great Hatake Kakashi would so openly flirt with me."

"Am I flirting? I don't think so..."

"So it's a common occurrence for you to ask to see your friends so intimately? Maybe that rumor about you peaking down Gai's jumpsuit wasn't so farfetched after all."

It'd been like this for the past two weeks.

Just because you'd left his apartment that night didn't mean you stopped seeing him. Several chance encounters in common areas had only solidified the rapidly growing tension between you two. It was never uncomfortable, more so just... unsure. You hadn't had any kind of specific dynamic to settle into, so there was a bit of an awkward trial period where you felt each other out, but really, it didn't last long.

"Hey, that was one time."

You paused just short of the market entrance and raised an eyebrow at him. Sure, the offhand comment of the event from Asuma had lived in the back of your mind for quite some time, but you didn't think there was any truth to it.

And you especially didn't think he'd admit to it.

You just shook your head and continued towards the shops, not waiting to give Kakashi the chance to expose any intimate details. Kakashi is one thing, but Lord knows what any story involving Gai may contain. He follows you around the booths, making idle conversation as you buy an assortment of items. Chicken, rice, cabbage, sure, he can guess what you're going for, but it's when you get to the spice stand that you lose him completely.

He watches as pick up and set down random jars, the furrow in your brow becoming more and more strained as you proceed.

"Did you have something in mind, or...?" He trails off, not wanting to outright accuse you of not having a clue as to what you're doing. You take a step back and look over everything, but nothing stands out to you. Everything is in generic packaging, nothing like the little jars your friends have in their kitchen cabinets.

"I wanted to try something like the teriyaki chicken that Kurenai makes, but think it might be a little too far off from my... particular skillset."

'Particular skillset' of course meaning no skills at all. Your parents took care of feeding you up until they died during the Kyuubi attack, and by then you were so busy in ANBU that there was really no reason to learn. You ate at food stalls while in town and roasted fish over a fire when you were out- a foolproof system that had yet to betray you.

But the past two weeks off had left you itching for something to do and street food had begun losing it's appeal.

Kakashi rolls his eyes, having learned good and well by now that you're a fire hazard in the kitchen on a good day. He steers you by your shoulders away from the ground herbs and spices and toward another stall where he can pick up some mirin. He ignores any questions you ask, opting to repeat the same "be patient" and "just wait" mantras over and over until you reach his apartment.

He's thankful that your knife skills transfer to the kitchen at least. He tasks you with butterflying the chicken as he washes the rice and gets out all the ingredients for the sauce he thinks you're aiming for. It's quiet as the two of you work- several nights spent just like this have you falling into the familiar motions with ease. Only when the chicken is searing in the pan, coated with a sauce you definitely added too much corn starch to, does Kakashi finally break the silence.

"Any idea when your leave ends?"

"Nah. The old man's been dodging me. I'm pretty sure he's going to retire me, though."

"Oh?"

He tries to sound nonchalant, but it comes out a tad too quickly. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't been enjoying your time together. He knows perfectly well that you'd carve out time for him should you return to active duty, but retirement had made him rather selfish these days, and he was wanting a bit more than that.

You huff and roll your eyes, what you assume to be his thirst for gossip still surprising you. "I'm a bit... difficult to work with. Recruiting and training a whole new squad when I've already pushed my luck this far might be a waste of resources."

Kakashi only nods. Fifteen years is a long time- longer than any other officer has been active- and while your track record is dazzling, he can't imagine Hiruzen sending you back out after such a clear sign from the universe. That's not even mentioning how warped your team structure was to accommodate your specific skill set.

"Is this," he pauses, not quite sure where his question is going, "Upsetting to you?"

It's phrasing is less elegant than he was aiming for, but the intent is clear enough.

You tilt your head back and forth in a silly manner to loosen the tension his question has caused in your head. It's definitely a loaded response. Rationally, you knew this wouldn't, couldn't, go on forever, and honestly, it shouldn't have lasted as long as it has. Anbu is incredibly hard on your mind and body, just the same with those before you, and sure to affect those who will come after. There were more kinks in your back than muscles at this point and the cushion of a mattress felt a little too good on your achy joints. The anxiety accumulated from years of sneak attacks and watch duty had pushed you to a point of exhaustion that a few measly nights at home couldn't erase.

You'd been robbed of your childhood (not there was much to enjoy during a war) and shoved into a plain mask- a half-assed attempt to protect you from the consequences and stigma of your sins. You'd been sent on missions you had no business even knowing about at eight years old and told to keep a straight face through it all. You'd worked through more teammates than you'd care to admit, each being lost due to circumstances you're sure you could've prevented.

All to say that the decision to put down the mask would be right and just.

Though you'd be lying to say you found any comfort in it.

This is your life, and although any parental figure you'd accumulated wished better for you, it's what you know best. The forest floor and rapid rivers feel more like home than your apartment ever has. Cooking what your friends call 'a balanced meal' is difficult compared to found berries and freshly caught cod. Being cautious of your facial expressions was taxing and the lack of routine was borderline disorienting.

But there was a glimmer of hope that kept you from tracking down that old geezer and demanding to stay on the roster, and that was Kakashi.

He was probably the furthest someone could get from well adjusted, and he's doing okay- great, even. He seems happier, less on edge, and much friendlier compared to the asshole you grew up alongside. He no longer snaps at Gai for 'trivial things' like lunch outings and friendly competitions. He's more willing to waste a day lounging around instead of dedicating his free moments to training.

All of this had been in the back of your mind since that first meeting with the Hokage, where he'd only wished you a fruitful recovery and sent you on your way.

But you sure as hell weren't about to say all this to Kakashi, so you settled on-

"It is what it is."

-and lifted the lid on the pan, letting the steam separate you from Kakashi's piercing gaze. He didn't say anything as you prepared dinner, just watched as you carefully filled the bowls and set the table. He should've known he wouldn't get anything out of you. You'd made it abundantly clear over the past two weeks that words were not your strong suit, oftentimes shutting him down with a pat on the back or a wave of your hand.

But that didn't make him any less unsatisfied with your lame response.

- - - - -

It isn't until a week later that you finally corner Hiruzen into giving you a straight answer, and just as you thought, he slid a stack of dismissal papers across his desk. He was uncharacteristically nervous as he did so, likely traumatized by past shinobi who reacted less than professionally about the endeavor.

You're walking down the street, mask in hand and dressed in the new street clothes you had no choice but to buy after your initial return, when you see your friends gathered in the dango parlor. You push the curtain aside and call out a greeting to catch their attention. Kurenai is quick to wave you over, scooting closer toward Asuma to make room in the booth for you to sit. You almost felt bad for the cramped bench, but neither of the pair seemed all that upset to be pressed up against one another.

They were, however, bothered when you set the porcelain in your hand down on the table. The air got thicker, any remnants of conversation dying out as their eyes shifted to the unmarked mask. Even Gai seemed to lose his usual lack of awarenness, falling perfectly in line with the others' distress. Lots of agents had similar masks- animals could only look so different when reduced to a few red streaks and a set of ears- but yours was one of a kind. No ears, no paint, no special eyes- its ambiguity perfectly matching your cover name.

"You know that's a bad omen, right?"

You furrow your brows at Kurenai, not sure what she meant. You look at Kakashi when he sighs, his hand moving to rub the crease in his brow. Kurenai takes the mask and sets it on your lap, beneath the table where it could be hidden from sight.

"That's the Calamity God's mask. It brings destruction and undoing."

Calamity... huh?

You thumb over the rim of the eye holes, not knowing how to respond to the apparent 'bad omen' tied to your anbu persona.

"Where did you even get that? No shops in the village are willing to sell them."

"I... um-"

Your mouth is dry and your brain is fumbling to find a response. You dart your eyes from her red ones over to the silver-haired jonin, only to find that he was already preoccupied with a silent conversation of his own with the boys. You settled on staring down at the porcelain in your lap, the empty sockets looking more and more life-like as they stared back.

People talked about you behind your back and you were far from oblivious to it, at least among the other black ops. It appears that civilians have their own rumors separate from anything that might grace your ears in the locker room.

Calamity was not new to you. It was stamped into bingo books across the foreign lands, right above the phrase 'do not engage' or 'flee on sight'. Though, the Godly title and associated lore that followed were ones you'd never heard.

And didn't care to hear again.

"I think I've made a mistake."

You're gone in the blink of an eye, flickering away from your friends and into the busy streets. Your breath catches in your throat, preventing you from moving any further towards the Hokage's office. You can feel your head spinning, the blood rushing in your ears and blurring the street life behind you. There's something touching your shoulder, but you can't be bothered to fight it off, the anxiety in your chest dulling any instinct you might have to run.

Your eyes sting from the unfamiliar well of tears. The slight tremor in your body makes your knees weak and unable to fully support yourself. Luckily, you're only stuck in public view for a moment before you're being dragged into an empty alleyway, away from others in the peak of your collapse.

You're set down against the brick wall, where you immediately slide down to the ground and shove your face into your knees. Your breathing is only getting heavier, the tears on your skin overstimulating you more than you'd ever experienced before.

You push your fingers through your hair and grip it at the scalp, desperate for some sort of distraction from the way your entire being is fighting itself. A sob racks your body. Then another and another, and it's so consuming that you can't even feel the hands attempting to untangle yours from your hair. It's only once they're gone and the comforting pressure is lifted that you notice. You can hear mumbling, can feel hands tightly compress yours and the light of the sun be slowly blocked by something.

"Y/n, you have to breathe,"

You shake your head and try to bury yourself deeper between your knees. It's too much. Actually living as a civilian for the past three weeks was easy- boring, but easy. You knew that everything would eventually fall into place and you could get to a point where life would come naturally.

This though?

This was something else entirely. Your reputation would haunt you, and not in the shiny way that Kakashi's had followed him.

Kakashi has experienced his fair share of panic attacks, but never has he been on the other side. He has his own remedies- simple things like hot showers or laying on the kitchen tile- neither of which being particularly useful in this situation, though. Not to mention, neither are really things that are guaranteed to work even if he could get you somewhere with the proper resources.

He hasn't been a particularly active person in your life until recently, but there's one aspect of your personality that has always been apparent; you communicate best through actions. Thinking back to the first night you spent together, he's positive nothing he said got through to you. It was only once your body was refreshed that your mind was cleared. You'd only relax when his skin was touching yours, like you needed a physical reminder that things were real and okay.

So he did the only thing he thought would ground you and pulled you into the most suffocating embrace he could manage. It's not as uncomfortable as he thought it'd be, especially once he's able to wrestle you into the spot between his legs. He's thankful for his size, making it easy to completely encompass you in his hold.

Luckily the alleyway is out of sight from the main road, your bodies hidden away by the curve of the building and a stack of empty produce boxes. It isn't until the harsh light of the setting sun is replaced by the chill night air and the chatter of passerbyers dies out that he's confident you're thoroughly relaxed. His arms have since eased up, but haven't been removed from their place. Your stiff muscles have been reduced to mush, the entirety of your body pressed into the jounin's torso, but he doesn't seem to mind.

"You want me to take you home?"

You shake your head, the movement muffled by your place against him, but the actions clear enough.

"Hmmm," he playfully nudges your head with his chin, "I could take you back to mine, but I don't think the girl I've been seeing would like that very much."

"Oh, as if anyone would willingly-" you pause, the gears in your head finally turning as you register his words. It doesn't take a genius to know he's poking fun at you and whatever odd situationship you've found yourself in, and what's even worse is you've unknowingly dragged yourself down as well by running your mouth. "Damn."

He laughs at you. Even with all the shit talk you dish out, he's confident that you're not, not interested. He can hear it in the way you speak with him- the mental block that Anbu creates between oneself and the rest of the world isn't present between you. He sees it in your subtle touches that may not stand out to anyone else, but are most definitely meant for him only. There's an easiness, a certain level of understanding that exists between you. It's a collection of feelings that Minato had tried and failed to put into words for him all those years ago, and now he knows why the man had stumbled over it so horridly.

He also knows that it's only been three weeks and he's already fucked, something his sensei had also been unfortunate enough to live through, so hopefully you're at least on the same wavelength.

Kakashi stands, dissolving any remnants of sentiment that may have been lingering. He hauls you up and over his shoulder with unexpected grace and turns towards the alleys entrance to go home.

"You know you don't have to carry me like a criminal, right?"

"How else would I carry you, hm? Perhaps like a princess? Or maybe damsel in distress is more your style?"

"Have you always been so annoying?"

"Depends on who you ask."

You pinch his side, making him almost drop you in his feeble attempt to swat your hand away. It's quiet, but far from uncomfortable. You settle into an awkward position that keeps at least some of the blood from rushing to your head and allow the white noise of the empty village streets to soothe any lingering anxieties in your chest. The wind is a little brisk but the chirp of crickets is still present. Most of the shop windows are closed but the restaurants remain full, faint chatter from the customers filling the air as you pass by.

"Hey, Kakashi?"

He hums in acknowledgment but doesn't say anything more, likely enjoying the peaceful air as well.

"Why-" you hesitate, not knowing if your question is one you should be asking and definitely not knowing if there's even a casual way to ask it, "Why didn't you tell me? About the rumors, I mean."

You can feel the slight misstep he takes but he doesn't show any other signs of distress. You can damn near hear the cylinders firing in his head, trying to piece together some semblance of a satisfying answer.

"I didn't want to stress you out."

"How'd that work out for you, big guy?"

He smacks the back of your thigh and exhales heavily, "Obviously, not too well."

He turns into his complex and navigates the halls until he's at his unit. He unlocks the door and brings you inside, gently setting you on the kitchen counter so he can flip on some lights and fill a glass with water. He watches as you down the liquid and your posture relaxes ever so slightly.

"I was hoping that when it came up, I could push the conversation a certain way."

"I would've preferred to hear it from you."

"I was trying to put it off for as long as possible. I wanted to give you as much time as I could for you to adjust so retirement would seem more appealing."

It's silent in the kitchen. There's nothing either of you can say to erase the tension in the air. You're not upset- not at him, anyway- a fact Kakashi is well aware of but still feels guilty about. He remembers being blindsided by retirement. For him, nothing had changed, only that one moment he was anbu and the next he just... wasn't. He's well aware that your situation is vastly different and your head is on a lot straighter than his had been, but that doesn't necessarily make things easier. If he had known that the topic would unravel like that, he would've rethought that decision in a heartbeat.

"Why all the calamity stuff, anyway? I mean, I know I'm a bit over the top, but it seems a little extreme," you fidget with the ends of your sleeves, pinching and rolling the knit material between your fingers. You look up when Kakashi sighs and watch as he fails to hide the frustration from his internal battle. He kicks off the counter he was leaning against to stand in front of you, his hands gripping the marble on either side of your thighs. His head hangs low and you can't help but laugh at the groan he lets out.

"You know how superstitious civilians can be," he finally straightens himself, one of his arms raising so he can tug off his headband to look at you, "And coming out with new folklore to point to when things go wrong is their favorite way to cope."

"Well, why can't I be like, I don't know," you huff, "Mother Nature? She starts floods and fires and rock slides, too, so why am I the only one getting a bad rap?"

As hard as you may be trying to keep your devious smile under wraps, Kakashi can see it clear as day. He bites back the many, many tempting retorts that overwhelm his brain, opting to give your stupid comment a pass just this once. "I think our line of work might be too dirty for such a shiny title."

"Says the mighty Copy Cat."

"Hey, no need to drag me down, too."

"Someone needs to," no longer interested in your own attire, you pull at the bottom of his jounin vest and tug at the straps to straighten it out, "Can't have you running around so-" your grip falters when your gaze finally flickers up to his. You hadn't realized how close he'd gotten- his face only a few short inches away.

"So, what?" there's that teasing tilt to his voice, one that's begging you to ignore his obvious intentions and continue as if everything were fine.

"So cocky," you eventually settle on, forcing your eyes away from his and focusing on his worn vest. You proceed with your attempt to fix his uniform, all too aware of the heat radiating off his skin, "Who flirts with someone not even an hour after a panic attack, anyway?"

"Someone who knows you well enough to provide an effective distraction."

"Distraction, huh? And here I thought we had something."

"A guy can have more than one reason for doing things," that's when you feel the pads of his thumbs rub against the loose fabric of your pants.

For a man so terrible with even the prospect of a connection with people, Kakashi sure is forward. You'd heard him threaten to lace Gai's protein powder once after the man had tried to hug him, but here he was, treating your personal space as if it were his own.

Not that you were complaining.

"I just realized we ditched our friends," your back straightens, eyes going wide when you remember that the others are likely still waiting for the two of you to return. Kakashi shakes his head, his now loose hair swaying a bit with the action.

"They won't mind."

"Yeah, but-"

"But nothing. They're smart enough to figure things out."

"And what happens when Kurenai shows up to my apartment to talk and I'm not there?"

"Like I said," his hands move upward, fingers running over your legs and resting at your hips, "They're smart enough to figure things out."

While he may not have said the quiet part out loud, his tone is more than enough to get his implications across. The way his eyes keep lingering on your features isn't helping either, especially when you notice his sharingan spinning, no doubt recording what ever was going through his mind for later.

It's not his fault. At the end of the day, he's still only a man- a man with someone so pretty sitting on his counter, allowing him to touch however he pleases. Your face is still splotchy from crying, hair a little messy from tugging at it so hard, but if anything, it's only adding to your appeal. Any guilt he may feel about the situation or its circumstances evaporates when he presses his thumbs deeper into your skin, fingers sinking into the fat of your hips.

“Kakashi?”

He hums but doesn’t give any further confirmation that he’s actually heard you. You see the moment he checks out of the conversation completely, the rough pads of his fingers pushing past your shirt to glide over your waist. He’s warm, not just in physical heat but in the way he sighs contently at the action, like hes been waiting for this. Hell, maybe has.

It’s weird to think that a month ago you were practically strangers. You attended the academy at the same time, been in anbu together, looked up to all the same people, and even shared the same friend group, yet you couldn’t have been less entwined. It took one night- just a single instance of mutual understanding- to bring you together after so many factors failed to do so, and now you’re a breath away from him hoping things will continue moving forward.

“Are you going to kiss me?” you ask, “Or are you just going to skip right to second base?”

He pauses, realizing just how close he had gotten to your chest. He swallows hard, his composure slipping a bit before steeling once more. “If you count that night in the shower, I’d say we were already there.”

“So, no kissing?”

Kakashi laughs and in one smooth motion detaches himself from your waist to pull down his mask. You don’t have any time to truly appreciate his features before his head dips down and his lips press against yours. It’s chaste, only lasting a second before he briefly pulls away just to return harder, his palm pushing on your back so your chest is pressed to his. His lips are a little dry, likely from the incoming winter, but soft and inviting nonetheless. Your hands move up, fingers gliding through his hair and settling on his neck to pull him in. Every motion is fluid, completely in tune with one another, and if you were the least bit of a romantic you’re sure this is what you’d call fate.

You’ve kissed other people before, but never like this- like the other person isn’t just on the same page as you, but like they’re reading the same sentence. He moves when you do, tilts his head in all the right directions, and knows just when you need a breath of air. When he finally pulls away, your gaze meet his. His cheeks are flushed and you’re sure you’re no better off. That red eye of his is still spinning, remembering everything about the moment and for a moment you envy the ability.

“Satisfied?”

You huff out a laugh and gently tug at his hair in retaliation.

“Not quite.”

“Damn,” Kakashi sighs dramatically, “Guess we’ll have to keep going then.”

You smile, already leaning in towards him.

“Guess so.”

[lady-lani-1707]

I've noticed there's a bunch of Trans activists co-opting our spaces to post random assortment of words. Now I'm not claiming I know 100 per cent if they aren't us, but I'm claiming if they are, they're pointlessly posting unnecessary slop that isn't helpful.

I do not believe they are, though. These seem to be trans activists who are probably male, wishing to speak over women and infest any space considered for us. They really get a kick out of being our spaces. It's pretty malicious, actually.

Please collectively block any users that post things like this solely and only whilst using radfem tags.

As you can see, they all mention repeated key words that gives me the impression that there is a script for this, or perhaps ai generated. Some will speak clear and concise only to advocate for gender ideology and use our tags.

Some are actually so called radfems who post "terf safe" tags only to promote gender ideology underneath.

For example, this is for one. I don't agree with the original comments violence, but I'm using this as an example. See how they put "terfsafe" only to not be a terf? It's deliberately done.

I'm not sure how long this can stay up, but please immediately block these people if their pages are nothing but incoherent nonsense under our tags. There's a difference between fun shit posting that's related to the topic at hand and absolutely nonsensical sentences aimed to disrupt the algorithm.

Promptly block them at once sisters.

- Lani, your lady.