#astarion hate

[bg3-bitching]

"Look, I had a plan. A nice, simple plan. Seduce you, sleep with you, manipulate your feelings so you'd never turn on me...All you had to do was fall for it...You deserve something real. I want us to be something real."

Translation:

"You were disposable until I realized I caught feelings for you and realized you're a person."

You guys find this shit romantic??? You guys find this moving??? I'm not here to be your trial run for being a decent person. I'm not here to rehabilitate shitty people. If there was an option I would stake the motherfucker on the spot. GOD have none of you had enough of men manipulating you??? Is this why you get off so much, because for once you actually can fix someone? Couldn't be, I have more self respect than that.

"You deserve something real." I deserved something real before you so graciously decided I was "worthy enough" to acknowledge my autonomy. You do NOT decide my worth. I'm sorry your own personal self worth is so low you don't think you're worthy of autonomy, but that's your own fucking problem to deal with. You mean you had to sexually assault me to see I was person, and since you didn't before that means you didn't sexually assault me? I wasn't a person before so the sexual violence doesn't count?? It's only now that you care for me I no longer deserve being sexually assaulted???

fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you FUCK YOU I WANT TO VIOLENTLY MURDER YOU LIKE YOU DESERVE. THE FIRST THING YOU DO AFTER GAINING FREEDOM FROM YOUR SEXUAL SLAVERY IS DEVISE A PLAN TO SEXUALLY ASSAULT SOMEONE. I WANT TO KILL YOU WITH MY BARE HANDS I FUCKING HATE YOU SO GODDAMN MUCH FUCK

[zizibutik]

people criticizing Gale for being pushy or going for the romance too hard are actually insane, cause not only is his romance TOTALLY SLOW BUILD, the fan favorite Ast*rion immediately throws himself at you... Like... Be for real... And also I had to reload to an old save cause kissing Wyll once and then telling Gale you choose him actually locked me out from the rest of his romance, while, again, the serial killer child kidnapper doesn't give a fuck about you and can kill you at least twice...

[milesplayshu]

Astarion, abducting hundreds if not thousands of people, including children to take them to be bitten by vampires, which he knows turns people into spawns: OMG I had nooo idea they would become spawns! :( I thought they only feed on them!

[verawhisk]

*the gang steps into baldur’s gate*

halsin: they’re making people pay for flowers?? for fruit?? things that silvanus gave to us for free?!

astarion: omg why are you yelling at me? i didnt make the system

astarion: wait

[pluviatrix]

WISH 9th level conjuration "Wish is the mightiest spell a mortal creature can cast...you can alter the very foundations of reality in accord with your desires...finally, there is a 33 percent chance that you are unable to cast Wish ever again..."

cue the walk of shame back to the cottage cuz astarion forgot his gloves

[velnna]

Reposting this because the image I based the outfit on was AI generated and I didn't notice so now I'll pretend it was never there to begin with 💀

[frankensteined]

casting spike growth during the cadazor fight resulted in a visual that i could write essays about

[lazylittledragon]

i am losing my entire shit right now, this single panel caused a nuclear disaster in my ig comments when someone said "halsin just saying 'astarion's partner' instead of his name feels icky"

which is such a fucking reach by itself but descended into this in about 5 seconds

[golyadkin]

it's because i wouldn't let you kill the bounty hunter isn't it

[cottonfiend]

"You want to talk? We'll allow it."

[catsharky]

My Tav's moral compass is straight and unwaveringly true until stealing is involved at which point it starts spinning so fast it might take off like a helicopter

[graveyardcuddles]

Spawn fans: arguing with Ascended fans.

Ascended fans: arguing with Spawn fans.

Me, a true Astarion Enjoyer:

[dmbakura]

"This is the first time in two hundred years I've seen these streets in the sunlight. You can forget just how much colour there is in the world."

[yaoiconnoisseur]

Astarion ‘has never had wholesome intimacy’ Ancunin vs Gale ‘none of these thoughts are in the bible’ Dekarios

find me on bsky

[starkspi]