[VD: A Magnus Archives animation done in orange and teal titled "Pusryčiai" (meaning: "breakfast"). Mellow music plays as Martin cracks two eggs into a frying pan. He turns away to throw the shells while the pan sizzles, and when he returns with a spatula, a "boom" sound effect plays as Martin recoils with comic disgust.
The egg yolks have been replaced by human eyeballs. Martin stares at them for a moment. He then pokes at the egg with the spatula, producing a squelching sound, and one of the eyes blinks with another gross wet sound. Martin goes from disgusted to comically sad and disappointed, and he fades away before the setting does. The video ends on the words "darė Skaistė" (meaning: made by Skaistė) and a quick shot of an eyeball. End VD]
ty @princess-of-purple-prose for the description, i edited it a bit too.
being called simon's work wife by johnny is all fun and games til you start spotting the man you've never formally met in the corner of your eye.
imagine being told by a pig-headed superior to make yourself useful and go get him some coffee only to immediately start apologizing, words spilling out of his pathetic mouth like water because your johnny-proclaimed husband's looming right behind you in guard dog mode.
you mumble out a thank you, even though you're not sure what for and he just tugs your name tag.
no one talks to my wife like that.
(forget about trying to clarify that it's work wife, he's got selective hearing.)
i think it's cute til it's not. til you're at a bar, drunk, and he shows up and takes you home. you wake up in a bed that smells of gunpowder and carbolic soap, in a shirt 3x your size and a pair of oversized sweats. when you check your phone, your friend's text reads, your husband is a scary man.
Ship or not, it’s so hilarious that Kabru is no less crazy than Laios. His passion is digging down everyone’s darkest secrets and family drama, his relaxing activities are flirting and gossiping with every homosapien with eligible language.
The reason why Laios was chill around him is because they were never close enough! Kabru is charming and cool if you only meet him twice a week at a bar, but look at how cautious and unnerved his close friends get when he starts blasting information nonstop.
“Can you see how scandalous that sleeve is?” “I heard she granted her the first name base!” “Laios look at the embroidery on that shirt, his business is definitely running as smoothly as I predicted!”
I want to see this Kabru around Laios, I want to see him decipher so many tiny body languages and unspoken rules of humans so happily that Laios can’t decide if he wants to chop his ears off or smack Kabru with a brick, I want to see Laios being forced into balls after balls and feeling the urge to drown himself in a barrel of wine just to end the conversations.
“But Laios gets anxious around people.” So does Kabru with monsters!??
Kabru’s freakiness deserves to be recognized, too! Let him be the insufferable bastard he’s born to be! Let him and Laios traumatize each other!
honey i understand that you're in heat and you made it very clear that you wanted "cock for breakfast" but the best i can do right now is french toast, i'm sorry