#at least i have plenty of time to write up new quotes now

[mdhwrites]

Okay, don't you think you're being harsh to think Dana Terrace is incapable of creating anything good and dreading it when she creates something? Like, the idea Owl House never should have existed (based on what that one anon said) is way too harsh and insulting to Dana.

Like come on, Dana's a pretty nice person. Heck, a lot of the people and creators who work at Disney TVA like Alex Hirsch, Matt Braly, Frank Angones, Matt Youngberg, Daron Nefcy, Chris Houghton, and Shane Houghton have nothing but nice things to say about her. Ditto with the rest of the Owl House cast and crew (a ship is more than its captain after all) being saying nothing but nice things about Dana.

And it's not like Dana's the only Disney TVA creator who has caused people to go against Disney. Alex Hirsch has badmouthed Disney several times (even making a Twitter post on how much Disney meddled with Gravity Falls), Matt Braly was frustrated with the last minute True Colors delay and expressed frustration with them here ( https://twitter.com/Radrappy/status/1746706435080323397), and Bill Motz has made comments on how Disney treated Molly McGee that worsened the opinion of how Disney treats their animated shows.

So I had considered saying that the ask did go a bit far in how angry it was at Dana. I mentioned that being unprofessional does not make you a bad person. Some of the actions are frustrating to me but I am not trying to say Dana is wrong for having made a product in such a flawed way. I am at least trying not judging her as a person, just as a creative. I also don't think TOH simply shouldn't have existed. It had plenty of good ideas but at the end of the day, its captain should be the one who is in charge of those ideas and making sure that they're focused on telling the story and staying consistent. Dana wrote Reaching Out, one of the episodes of the show that most destroys both character potential and the believability of the world. It's also not by any means the only episode with a main writing credit for her like that, such as The First Day. As a writer, I genuinely just don't get the impression she has the attention span to be leading such a large project, especially if she is going to complain about not having full control over it while also lacking more concrete ideas to what it is. When I say I am not interested in the next work Dana is the director for, I just mean director because these flaws in her style make me think that unless it's an anthology series, anything she makes is going to have me get frustrated by the work over time.

NOW as for the stuff about her being unprofessional: Time and context is HUGE here. Matt getting upset about True Colors leaks? The COMPANY is also going to be upset by them and while it might berate Disney for lack of security, it is a genuine fuck up on their part to do with his show and him lambasting the leaks also pushes the audience not to spread them. There's nothing unprofessional about that nor that might harm the show. Alex Hirsch released that video about the censor board for Disney on Gravity Falls YEARS after the fact (this also goes for the tweet that you quote from Matt which is literally two weeks ago, well over a year past when Amphibia ended). The show was already a success and a video like that might make Disney look a little silly but it won't harm how people see the product or trying to get into it. In fact, with the current state of things, it might actually be seen as a PR bump.

Meanwhile, Dana was shit talking her own show and blaming it on the company she CHOSE to work with regarding literally half of the content that was out at the time. Worse yet, the first half. The half that theoretically needs to sell you on the show. What is a new viewer supposed to think of that if they haven't seen the show? "Well, even if it gets good, even the creator admits the first half is at least underwhelming. I don't want to have to put up with half a season of subpar work just to get to the good stuff."

And as I said with Hirsch: How people feel about Disney, and how clearly Disney actually does want the rep in TOH to be a selling point for them (they immediately were willing to do Lumity marathons or have them featured on Disney+ for Pride Month, as well as Lumity being the only t-shirt released by Disney that wasn't of just The Owl House members or the logo), means that Dana getting upset about them for the homophobic acts in Florida probably was seen as at worst neutral. Buuuuut that shifts when she starts trying to accuse the treatment of their programming onto their homophobic ideas because suddenly part of the company's selling point on the show is being actively damaged by the creator. Worse yet, she is doing it as speculation rather than sticking to the reasons given by Disney. Feeding into people's anger about the company while eschewing responsibility for why the show was shortened like it was. This is admittedly less of a strong argument, I do still support her lambasting their homophobic politics, but it's a moment that has stuck with me for something I'll get into later.

This is also without getting into the fact that one interview with her specifically mentions her first response to the shortening being to end S2 on a massive cliffhanger and then just GTFOing on them, a statement that is going to make ANY production company start sweating about you as a creative they want to work with. After all, the crew and other creatives may love Dana... But what do actually publishers and people she has to clear this stuff with think of her? You know, the people who decide funding on these matters because that is just a part of the majority of animated work currently unless you somehow manage to get enough patrons to be able to go independent like Vivziepop with Helluva Boss.

All of this also gives the impression of someone who would rather blame other forces than learn. Honestly, one of the best things I've heard her say is that the shortening did push her creatively. Force her to make decisions and try harder. That gives me hope... But she spent so much of TOH complaining about corporate oversight or riling up her fans against the company who shortened her that... I don't know if she'll take that to heart. If she's going to treat this as a learning experience or if she'll double down. Again, one of the biggest regrets she has is not getting to do more Raeda, despite their one episode already being almost entirely pointless.

Even if she is a wonderful person, from a publisher's standpoint, she seems like a high risk gamble for honestly that incredible of numbers. Someone who might turn on you if you ever force a decision she doesn't like or push her too hard. That's not something a big corporation is going to want. It makes it sound a lot more like she's someone who indeed should just go independent if she really found working for Disney so rough.

I would love to be wrong though. I would love for her next work to be a knock out of the park. I just know that I'm probably going to pick it up AFTER it's done and I know it actually knew where it was going instead of just scrambling to put the tracks in front of it.

======+++++======

I will probably try just not to talk more about Dana as a creative because I REALLY don't like talking about the creators themselves instead of just judging the quality of their work. I genuinely wish Dana the best but... Man, after I've had so many people dismiss everything I've ever said about this show because of the shortening, or because Disney was too restrictive on LGBTQIA+ elements or because they forced Hexside onto Dana, ruining her plans, excuses Dana has herself pushed for the fans to use by using them herself...

It made learning just how little of any sort of plan she ever had so exhausting and infuriating, amplified by just how much this fandom screeches about TOH's unfair treatment when I don't see any of them going to bat for Molly McGee right now the same way. Not in my corners at least. Edit: I have been corrected that people are pretty mad for Molly McGee which good. They should be.

[bonesandthebees]

Internship is certainly going. I want to say going okay… I could be doing better but I kinda got unlucky with my internship spot and workload. This would be much easier to explain if I could just say what kinda of internship it is, but that kinda feels like too much details both for my current degree and the job I’ll be doing after. (Internet safety and all that). Anyway, what I can say is that anyone in the field irl pulls a face when they hear about my internship. The workload feels impossible, but somehow I’m doing it and I’m about half way through so *aggressively knocks on wood* it should be fine.

I do have a different internship in like a month or so and some other projects but those feel like child’s play compared to the current hell incarnate. So moral of the story: sometimes you just get to have a few mental breakdowns, pick yourself back up and go again the next day (again and again and again and again). It’s like that quote: [“It gets a little bit easier every day, but you have to keep doing it.”] or what’s the other one? [the only way out is through]. And then take plenty of breaks and do fun things even if it feels like you don’t have the time because that’s the only thing that’ll keep you going. The world is always more manageable after a good meal or a power nam or a 15 minute music break.

I’ve been blasting a lot of music based on moods, getting back into Dutch music because girl, I need to learn how to spell properly and every internship I have a song that gets me through. This one it’s ‘secret for the mad’ by Dodie. I’ve had to loop it over and over to get the motivation to try at times, to really let the words sink in, but it helps. So find a song to get you through when you need it.

Lastly, I’ve been meaning to say something about Him, but I just haven’t had the time and energy to write something coherent (aka I’m not using my 30 minutes of evening downtime that are just for me for this negative energy). Best thing is can say is that this is a good opportunity to get into new creators. Just have fun with it (hermitcraft season 10 has been getting be through this). Listen to new music. Try new things to fill the void. I’ve pruned all my playlists and social media follows and such and it felt like a fresh start. (Oh and learned your red flags people. People who don’t respect your boundaries (no matter how small) can be(come) very dangerous.)

My only issue now is that I can play since I saw Vienna and La Jolla on guitar (the picking patterns always smooth me), but now I’m not sure if I can keep doing that. I haven’t tried playing them. I feel like I should look at the lyrics first then decide. But I haven’t found any picking songs with the same soothing vibe, so I’ve been playing a bunch of my classical pieces and I really like playing the ‘romantic’ ones and for some reason the polkas and the blues? So again filling the void.

Anyway, thanks for all the well wishes. I’ve been missing you guys. This has been chaotic life updates with Spruce. I really need to start being productive now. So, bye!

-🌲

yeah of course don't say any details that would reveal too much info about you, but man that sounds stressful :( at least you'll switch to something else in a month?? I'm so sorry you're stuck in hell rn I hope you get through it alright!! make sure to take it easy when you can!! you're so right the world is so much easier to deal with after a power nap or a snack

oooo I haven't heard secret for the mad in a long time but I used to listen to dodie from time to time. I used to think of such angsty scenarios with my ships while listening to 'sick of losing soulmates'

also it's so real to have a song to help you get through shit like that. I'd say rn for me one of those songs is all american bitch by olivia rodrigo because I just have a lot of fun screaming it in the car. tested waters by loupe is a calmer one I've been listening to on repeat lately

you're right this is a great opportunity to get into new creators. I was already drifting to watching qsmp creators more often besides just phil and tubbo, but now I've been trying to tune into bagi and tina's streams if I have the time

definitely look at the lyrics first, but I feel like out of most of the ycgma songs since I saw vienna and la jolla are two of the 'safest' options you could pick for something like that. at least compared to your sister was right and losing face...

la jolla and since i saw vienna are both such pretty songs though. there's nothing wrong with playing those on your own guitar I'd say? it's not giving any money to him. but of course it's up to your own personal comfort.

good luck spruce!!! ty for checking in we all miss you over here!! <33

[chaosintheavenue]

Unprompted answering of random asks from my own ask memes for Kayli:

🌱 What’s their basic information? Name, gender, age, that sort of thing

Full name: Kayli Meyer (surname was originally Radley until she was around 7-ish years old)

Gender: Cis woman

Orientation: Asexual, vaguely sapphic but also definitely not alloromantic (AKA, the exact answer I would have given for myself about a year ago)

Date of birth: 19th February 2275 (so, five months older than Trin at any given time)

Place of residence: Born and raised in California- more specifically in Lost Hills. She had never left California before travelling to West Virginia with Trin and living there for two years (2297 to late '99) and some spare change. Has just left WV and headed back west at the current point in the day-to-day OC timeline in my head

🌎 Do they have a favourite region of the world map (e.g. the Forest, the Ash Heap…)? A least favourite region?

She enjoyed seeing the variety of different environments in Appalachia more than anything else, but she does have a soft spot for the atmosphere (not literally!) of the Ash Heap that Trin doesn't share

As for least favourites, she didn't particularly enjoy embarking out further towards the east side of the map (Mire/Cranberry Bog region), but that's more due to the tougher enemies in that region and potential for Trin to start scorchily losing her shit than the actual geography

📷 How often do they take photos (or alternatively, how often do you use photomode haha)? Any favourite/funny photos of them you’d like to share?

She will sometimes take environmental shots to capture any unusual or striking features in the landscape, but on the whole isn't snap-happy like someone I could mention. Definitely doesn't love being in shot herself (so, not a fan of selfies).

🎻 Do they play musical instruments? How skilled are they at it?

Yesss. I literally added this question to that list specifically for Kayli lol.

She's taken violin lessons since childhood, and kinda knows her way around all string instruments as a result. Also figuring out a little bit of piano, which is more likely self-taught. But the violin will always be her baby.

💰 What is the most expensive thing they own?

The most expensive thing in terms of its overall value that she ever owned, past tense, was probably her first violin. It was in pristine condition with a pearlised blue varnish, which I'd imagine would have been very hard to come by.

It survived its time with her, by the way! She just had to swap for a new refurbished one eventually because it was child-sized.

💬 How many languages do they speak?

She's only fully fluent in English, but knows phrases here and there in plenty of other languages. However, I'm inclined to think that she would count the ability to read and write sheet music as knowing a language, which brings her total per her own judgement to two.

☂️ What’s their favourite type of weather? What type of weather do you associate with them, if any?

She's not a fan of any extremes of weather, but especially not storms or heavy rain. Having grown up a) underground and b) in California, the severe East Coast-style radstorms were an unpleasant novelty to her and she's very wary of them.

🍇 Favourite food? Any dietary restrictions or specific dislikes?

Discovered when she travelled east that she likes fresh seafood- but it absolutely has to be fresh, and that's going to be in much shorter supply where she's now living than it was in Appalachia. Welp. Lakelurk meat, maybe?

Her all-time favourite food is the gulper meat in Rudy's pepperoni rolls!

🤖 Do they believe science or art is more important? How much value do they place on each?

She'd firmly agree with the paraphrased quote 'Science keeps us alive, but art is what we live for'.

[depizan]

Writer ask prime number selection: 17, 19, 23, 29, 41!

I don’t even want to know how many months ago this is from. First a few weeks got away from me, and then I started working on it and discovered one of the questions is really hard, and now it’s been months. Egad.

17. What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it?

I’d say I don’t really do AUs, but my entire fic series is basically an AU for the game. What I don’t really do is AUs of my own stuff. One version of events is quite enough to keep straight. (Or two versions, if we’re counting the game stories.) Perhaps my fics are already the highly specific AU in question.

19. If you wrote a spin-off of [insert fic], what would it involve?

I have occasionally done ficlets from the point of view of side characters, mostly based off of random prompts or prompt events (I think?), which could be seen as spin-offs. (The ficlet about Netula Pahn, or the one where Kaliyo and Nem’ro discuss the clearly not-actually-the-Red-Blade.) And that’s probably the most likely kind of spin-offs I’ll write: what did side character from fic or game story think of the events of [story] or [bit of game canon as it actually happened in my canon]? Or revisit side characters later to see how things ended up working out for them. Or make canon that Vrei is trying to take over Zarva’s organization (leaving the Hutt as a figurehead leader). And, given that Zarva’s not real bright and Vrei is both competent and a half-way decent boss, at least by Nar Shaddaa standards, plenty of people in Zarva’s organization would also prefer she ran things.

23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to?

I would love to write a proper caper/heist story, but I’m not sure if I’m clever enough to pull it off. You’ve got to have a clever plan, everything that goes wrong with the clever plan, the new plan(s) or improvisations to make up for all that goes wrong…

Perhaps I’ll get the proper formula worked out one day. And then I might write nothing but capers!

29. What songs would be (or are) on a playlist for [insert fic]? Explain your choices if you want!

I’ve pondered this for a very, very long time. I fear I’m just not the playlist sort.

But a mutual did once make playlists for my characters!

Jezari

Kyrian

Savler

44. If you take/write prompts: do you prefer dialogue or scenario/narrative prompts?

I do write prompts at times. I’ve even tried to participate in prompt related writing events, though my writing speed makes that not work out all that well. Thinking back to my experiments with prompts, I think I prefer scenario/narrative prompts, though I’ve definitely written for both. (I like the clever quote prompts Whumptober uses, but I don’t think I ended up using any of them the year I tried to do it. You know, the ones that sound like titles: “You Break It, You Buy It,” “On a Need to Know Basis,” “Pick Your Poison,” etc.)

[inklingofadream]

honestly I think the books exist to be used vs you Must keep books pristine argument is a disability issue

changing from one to the other was mostly a growing up thing for me (teens can be precious about Pristine books. i think it's good for every teen to have at least one pointless thing to be overly precious about) but a little bit a becoming more disabled thing. Going through books with a highlighter and pencil is good for my mental illnesses. It helps keep me focused, and when I'm done I write down all my highlighted quotes in a little notebook, which is enough of a task to make my depression feel like i've accomplished something without running into executive function machine broke

my grandma's arthritis is bad enough she can't hold a book over 150 pages for long at all, and holding the pages open is bad even on short books.* she was a librarian. She's never going to be happy just reading magazines and super short books. so now every time she buys a new book my grandpa cuts it into 150ish page chunks with the kitchen scissors, and if she's at home she tears out each page as she finishes.

i'm sure there are ton of other accessibility life hacks that involve "defacing" books. don't get me wrong, YOU can keep your books pristine. this isn't about me being right so everyone has to do it, it's about the people who act like you're committing a sin by dog earring/writing in/etc YOUR OWN personal books.

I have plenty of vintage books, I wouldn't do any of this to them, or like a valuable first edition. But writing lovingly in my own recent books, or my grandma cutting and tearing apart books that almost universally came to her secondhand isn't reducing the number of usable books in the world in any significant way. And I'm sick of people getting upset about how other people treat books that belong to them.

*"just get her an ereader" NO. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. every member of my family started suggesting she get a flip phone when they became commonplace consumer items (she wanders off. not in a dementia way, she's just an insane energizer bunny of a person). we started BEGGING her to get one once they were solidly no longer the Gadget Of The Moment and super cheap. She agreed to get a phone that tells time, sends and receives calls, and nothing else in TWENTY TWENTY ONE. if we ever see the day she agrees to get and USE an ereader she will verifiably be the oldest woman to ever live.

[katierosefun]

for the writing prompts, could you please write something for Joo Won and Hyuk with the quote: “Important to you? Me? Don’t joke about things like that.” 😊

thank you for the ask bo! // from these prompts

Joo Won hadn’t even given Hyuk his new address, and yet here that prosecutor stands, bright-eyed and smug-smiled as he passes over first something that looks suspiciously like a gift bag, and then something that looks suspiciously like—

“Ddeok,” Joo Won says flatly, staring down at the plate. “How old-fashioned.”

“It’s not old-fashioned,” Hyuk replies. “It’s neighborly. And plenty of people still do it. You need to especially do it, ward off all the bad spirits.” He plays at shooing at the air around Joo Won, a gesture that earns the prosecutor a scowl.

“Who told you my address,” Joo Won says, walking back into the apartment. He sets the gift bag on the coffee table, which is already stacked with boxes that he has yet to unpack. “Was it the chief? Isn’t that an abuse of your prosecutorial powers?”

“Who do you take me for?” Hyuk asks, following Joo Won. “Your father told me.”

Joo Won turns around.

Hyuk stretches out his hands. “I’m a little insulted that you wouldn’t even bother to tell me,” he says, eyes twinkling. “But I’ll forgive you.”

Joo Won snorts. “There’s no reason for you to feel insulted,” he says. He sets down the ddeok, giving it a disdainful look-over before turning back around to Hyuk. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t see how this kind of thing would matter to you. You’re a prosecutor now—you have more important things to deal with.”

That much is true. Kwon Hyuk had been involved with the Han family for nearly ten years now, and Joo Won, for better or for worse, had seen how it’d affected his former tutor. He’s smart, at least smart enough for Han Ki Hwan to approve of him tutoring Joo Won in the first place—and smart enough to go to law school and then to become a prosecutor in Seoul, no less, a position that’s usually reserved for only the best and the brightest.

Joo Won still has no idea why, then, Kwon Hyuk stays. Because if he’s truly smart enough, then he would leave.

“But this is important,” Hyuk says, picking up the platter of ddeok. He pushes it into Joo Won’s hands, gently. “This move? It’s a big, big step.”

Joo Won wrinkles his nose. “Don’t patronize.”

“I’m not,” Hyuk says, and he sounds so sincere that Joo Won wants to shove his tutor out of the apartment. “Believe it or not, young lord, you’re important to me.”

Joo Won scoffs, pushing the ddeok back at Hyuk. “Important,” he repeats. “Me? To you? Don’t joke about things like that.”

Hyuk raises an eyebrow. “I wasn’t joking.”

There he goes again—sounding so idiotically sincere, that Joo Won might actually think that he means it. He hates that about Kwon Hyuk, most of the time. Almost all of the time. How this person in front of him could be simultaneously so smart and yet so clearly stupid, how this person could say words with such sincerity as though he doesn’t know that Joo Won knows Hyuk would turn him out in a second if it meant getting the upper hand.

Joo Won’s chest twists, and he wishes that it hadn’t.

[averytalllemon]

Okay so- I just finished the book Under the Whispering Door and I just jlkasdfhigkleyau8t6iw79

I have so much to say- listen to my rant if you want, but if you don't then don't.

!!HUGE Spoiler Warning!!

I genuinely mean it, if you feel like spoilers will lead you to not read this book in the future then don't read this post. I am so serious about this- I want people to read this book so badly because I need people to rant to who understand what I'm talking about, people that I can agree with (or disagree with, of course). But in the end, do what you wish, though if you take anything from this, let it be: Read. This. Book. (please)

Anyways, onto my rant!

First off, this book is overall so well written and makes some amazing points. I honestly think it changed me as a person, I feel like it changed my view on the world, only slightly though. I just feel- wiser maybe? Like Hugo taught me something, how to be a better person, better at being there for others, better at understanding, ya know? I think it was the bits about how no one knows what you're going through, though experiences can be similar none are the same. I like that, I think about it a lot now. If I notice my friends having a hard day and I have the time to help and talk to them I no longer say "I get it" or "I know" when they explain what they are going through (or I at least try not to) because though I already sort of knew this, I feel like Under the Whispering Door helped me better understand or see more clearly that I in fact don't know. I don't know a lot of things. I'm wrong most of the time. There's plenty of things I don't understand and I'm okay with that, I'm content by that idea. Recently I've been working to better myself and I feel like this book really helped with that, so thanks. Thank you, TJ Klune, for writing this book, and thank you to my friend who got this as a present for me for my birthday I really appreciate it. (Yes, I did already thank my friend for this book ^^)

Now for the part I'd imagine most of you who have read this far are waiting for (or not, I could be wrong).

Wallace and Hugo. I cannot explain them they're just my new favorite ship. I love them so much- aewrohruilt9y4q3i2gk4yhfjT -I'm fine. My friends, for the past week (because honestly, it took me a few months before I picked up the book) I have been ranting to them non-stop about these two. I love them so much. I am horrible at explaining ships and ship dynamics but these two- they just work together, they click. I love how at the start of their relationship, when Wallace first started to develop feelings for Hugo he was thinking about him more than anyone or anything else yet also going "Pfttt- me? have feelings for Hugo? Neverrrr-" (this isn't just an exact quote of course but it sums everything up well) until he was pretty much like "Oh shit- I love him, don't I?" (Again, not a direct quote from the book.) There's also their little therapy session things where they go outside and chat. This is what I was talking about earlier, what I felt changed me in a way. They just stand there, sometimes they talk about big things that they need to get off their chests, other times they'll just chat like good friends about random things, and on some days, they just don't talk at all, and it's perfect. They're perfect. They can just exist with each other and need nothing more. They can be at peace with each other. It's amazing! They have a connection, a bond like no other. I love it. I love them so much. They are just so cute.

And though this may come as a bit of a surprise, my favorite character, not Wallace or Hugo but Nelson. Nelson is so amazingly funny- he always lightens the mood with his silly comments. He's so chaotic in the best way possible, and he really just doesn't give two shits sometimes, when it's the right moment of course. When the moment calls for it, he can be serious, calm, caring, and wise. Gosh I love this man- he'd the best- I think I would've been more said when he left if I didn't know that they'd meet again, eventually, they'll all be together.

Gosh I love this book so much <33333333

If you haven't read it yet, read it. And if you have, read it again. I promise you it'll be worth it.

Also feel free to reblog, I wanna hear some opinions on the book, characters, etc.

[sherifftillman]

thank you for tagging me, @kingofscoops! 💜

rules: bold the ones that are true and tag 15 people to do it

APPEARANCE:

i’m over 5’5” // i wear glasses/contacts // i have blonde hair *unnaturally // i prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // i have one or more piercings // i have at least one tattoo // i have blue eyes // i have dyed or highlighted my hair // i have gotten plastic surgery // i have or had braces // i sunburn easily // i have freckles // i paint my nails // i typically wear make-up // i don’t often smile // i am pleased with how i look // i prefer nike to adidas // i wear baseball hats backwards

HOBBIES AND TALENTS:

i play a sport // i can play an instrument // i am artistic // i know more than one language // i have won a trophy in some sort of competition // i can cook or bake without a recipe // i know how to swim // i enjoy writing // i can do origami // i prefer movies to tv shows // i can execute a perfect somersault // i enjoy singing // i could survive in the wild on my own // i have read a new book series this year // i enjoy spending time with friends // i travel during school or work breaks // i can do a handstand

RELATIONSHIP:

i am in a relationship // i have been single for over a year // i have a crush // i have a best friend i have known for ten years // my parents are together // i have dated my best friend // i am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // i have a long distance relationship // i am an only child // i give advice to my friends // i have made an online friend // i met up with someone i have met online

AESTHETICS:

i have heard the ocean in a conch shell // i have watched the sun rise // i enjoy rainy days // i have slept under the stars // i meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // i enjoy the smell of the beach // i know what snow tastes like // i listen to music to fall asleep // i enjoy thunderstorms // i enjoy cloud watching // i have attended a bonfire // i pay close attention to colours // i find mystery in the ocean // i enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favourite season

MISCELLANEOUS:

i can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // i am the mom friend // i live by a certain quote // i like the smell of sharpies // i am involved in extracurricular activities // i enjoy mexican food // i can drive a stick-shift // i believe in true love // i make up scenarios to fall asleep // i sing in the shower // i wish i lived in a video game // i have a canopy above my bed // i am multiracial // i am a redhead // i own at least three dogs

i've done plenty of these by now so i'm gonna tap out of actually tagging people, but if you wanna do this one specifically, feel free to springboard off of my post! <3

[lorei-writes]

Hello lovely Lorei!

For the emoji asks... 🤡 and 🌞 and 🤗 please!

Hello!

Ahhh, I swear, you really are one of the sweetest people around, haha. Thanks for dropping by!

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

Not necessarily laugh, but maybe smile a little bit?

“How can you even find anything in here? Where do you keep your needles, I need to…” “Up your ass, my lord,” you blurted out, bloodlust emanating from your body. “Right next to the thimble.”

Warlords & MC that finally snaps

Chair legs scratched against the floor with a high screech, Ieyasu standing up abruptly, anger sizzling inside of him as he grabbed Masamune by the tail. He held the dragon up in front of his face, green eyes squinting before he poked the creature. He shook Masamune from side to side, much to his friend’s disapproval, squawks of protest taking over the air. “Ieyasu! That’s excessive!” Mai opposed. As if coming back to his senses, Ieyasu opened his hand, letting the reptile fall into her lap. With a sigh, he sat back in his chair, the piece of furniture grunting heavily as he did so. “I guess you can always fuck a lizard,” he grumbled.

The Dragon of Yss, Chapter XI: Vibrant Smoke

The thing of the past is that, in plenty aspects, it is nothing like the present, and as such it should not be measured against the same principles. A decent man, an indecent man – if you allow several centuries to pass, then he is first and foremost a dead man… Unless, for some reason, he is standing in your bathroom, safe, sound, and very, very breathing. Not that you’re complaining, of course! It is infinitely better for your spouse to be alive, even at the price of higher utility bills. (At least most would agree with that, supposedly).

Spots & Stripes

I better stop before the list gets too long, so let me leave it off with a mystery quote:

"Yes, of course, my lord. And asshole. A bastard. Son of a bitch! Who does such things!”

>:)

🌞 Do you have a preferred time of day to write?

Yes. Between 8pm and 4am... Which is nooot very good...

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

I was honestly pondering over it for a while. After all, there's lots of advice that could be given, but plenty of it is not that useful or downright harmful... The best I could come up with at the moment is:

1.Just write, whether it's "good" or "bad". 1.a If you have a beta-reader and they tear you down each time, do not work with them.

Arguably, point 1. is fairly useless, but allow me to elaborate. They're both fairly tightly woven, and by themselves, I'm not sure whether they mean much.

You see, as it happens, I have beta-ed for multiple people by now, and plenty of them were beginners. Some of them have never written any fiction before, and I was the one to encourage them to try. As such, they were fairly vulnerable at the moment, and I thought it is a fairly natural assumption to make that you should be very gentle with such people. However, it apepars I was wrong...

Beta's work is to point out errors and things that could be improved upon, with the ultimate goal of making the project the best it could be at the moment. In my opinion it is worthwile to keep the writer writing too, though. I know of writers who beta-ed of others and were nearly sadistic in how they delivered their critique. It ultimately only discouraged the begginer. Listen, they may have more experience, but if they're in a mentor-like position in relation to you, they should use it to guide you. Beginners are not a fodder for displays of your own ability.

Another thing about working with a beta is that the erorrs they may be pointing out could be just perceived errors. Each writer has their own voice. It consists of habits, preferred phrasings, etc. and well, those take time to build up. You will need to make mistakes along the way to know what suits you... And you cannot do that if somebody consistently tears you down and tells you to be mini-them.

Now, I'm not saying that suggested changes of such nature would not be an improvement to the work itself. However, I'm of the mindset that it's better to let others develop at their own pace, even if it may make my work as a beta a bit lousy. (I suppose it may be a bit more of a teacher approach, rather than a beta-reader one -- although, when working with somebody much less experienced than you, those are fairly connected, aren't they?)

Honestly, even if it may take longer, and even if it may be a convoluted journey, you can improve without a beta-reader or mentor figure of any kind. Just keep on writing, you will get there eventually -- but you will never make it if you get discouraged and stop, even if your few first works were "perfect".

To add some more things, briefly this time:

You can set boundaries wtih your beta-reader.

You can ignore advice, even if it comes from more experienced people.

Treat imperfections more so like fingerprints rather than something to be absolutely disposed of as fast as possible. Dealing with them at your own pace may help you develop your own voice.

You probably want to abide by more codified rules, though (e.g. dialogue notation). They generally just make it easier to read your work.

Writing FanFic is a hobby. Not a job. Don't turn it into a chore.

Aaand of course, I went on a rant.

Fanfic Writer Emoji Asks

[mooshs-crack-headcanons]

Can I ask with obi wan with 27, 18, or 21 please? Thank you bunches 🌟💞

OH HERE WE GO!!!! My inner obi wan fucker has been waiting so long for space Jesus of my heart to come home 😭 sorry this took so long! Also note: anon corrected for 27 to be obi wan receiving in another ask so that's what I write here! Also there's like... plot here and I didn't know how to end it so here you go anyway 🧎🏻‍♂️

Day 27: Hair pulling

(This work includes gender neutral!reader)

(NSFW under the cut as always)

"(Name)!" He calls out as he swiftly follows your trail, a deep ache swelling at his forehead in frustration. "(Name), we really should be heading back where Senator Amidala-"

The jedi drifts off his thought the moment a certain flash of his former padawan crosses his mind and how, even before you had drug him out on his venture, he had been tip toeing around the Senator for the entirety of this exsort mission to get her to a very important meeting on this planet you currently find yourself on.

"-before Anakin does anything further foolish... which left to his own devices is a guaranteed to happen if we don't get back! (Name)!"

With a pinch the the bridge of his nose, actually thinking about it further, he didn't know exactly what was with the lingering glances with the awkward 'flirting' or the eye rolling gentle smiles tangled in between that Padme gives him, and both thinking they're being 100% discreet about it. Whatever, Obi wan sighs to himself, if you pretend not to notice then you're not obligated to do anything about it. Besides, seeing his brother-in-arm's act like a love sick puppy can be entertaining at times - even if it can and has plenty of times clouded his judgment and led to... not the best of decisions. Anyway, he shakes himself out of his head to refocus on searching for where the possible hell you could of gotten yourself into; closing his eyes for the briefest of moments to reach through the Force to search for any sort of response from you in return.

He gets nothing. Odd, you couldn't have possibly gotten yourself in that much trouble have you? While the council did suggest Anikain and himself to go see the Senator to her meeting but they suggested taking you and your padawan as well given the planet you were on being fairly new to the Republic with agreements and settlements not being as strong yet from what he could tell from the time the ship arrived here to the way to the capital city, at least from the readings and feelings he could get a grip on the people here were very civil. Of course most civilizations can seem that way at first, there's a criminal underbelly to every planet no matter how much said planet's fundings go to cover it up - it'll always be there with a certain hunger. The jedi shakes his head of his thoughts. Possibly he's just thinking way too much into it, even so if you got into trouble you are a jedi just as him and he knows your capabilities to take care of yourself... but still... he needs to make sure you're alright and you two need to return to Anikin and Padme.

He ducks and hovers around each marble corner he finds himself shuffling around the further he forges his way deeper into the capital, undoubtedly he's in restricted areas now but something in his gut tells him you most likely would've made your made through here somewhere if that were the fact. He curses under his breath, watching as guards walk pass seemingly not even bother to notice him from behind the pillars a foot behind them. The jedi takes a look at his limited options;

A. Shoot straight ahead across the foyer to the hall ahead with the very high threat of the armed guards catching him.

B. Dip around the nearby corner into what he peaked to be the guard barracks and risk stealing a uniform with also the very high threat of armed guards catching him.

C. Quote he recalls from Ahsoka: "'Yolo' it."

All these options weren't exactly 'good' if he gets in an unnecessary fight here it could be potentially put not just himself but you, Anikin, and the Senator in unnecessary danger but if he's wrong and these are just innocents just defending their capital building... why couldn't you both just stayed with the Senator as planned? Let her attend her meeting then you could've been back home at the Temple safe and sound and he could actually get his work done early for once.

With a deep sigh and closing of his eyes, Obi wan braces himself for his next sudden movements - either quickly dash to the other side of the foyer or quickly sneak into the barracks room... however he doesn't get that chance as immediately and unexpectedly he sudden finds himself jolted forward and rapidly yanked backwards.

When the jedi can finally feel himself breath again he's staring at the pale marble ceiling, however, his surroundings are very much less extravagant as the rest of the capital has been such far. A quick snap of a door thundering shut claps his ears before he winces his eyes open to see you peering down at him.

"I didn't break your back or anything, did I?"

"No," He grogs. "-but I think you at least might've sprained something." He means it in a teasing way but is quick to correct himself when he sees your expression morph into a worried one.

"I'm fine, honestly. Though you could've at least give a man a warning before you toss him back first into a room with the Force first. I am rather quite delicate." You roll your eyes with a; "Sure you are." before standing to your feet with a loud knee cracking pop before holding out your hand to help the man up and letting him finally get a better look of the small room you found yourselves in.

It was a security room with a large desk at the furthest back wall of the room accompanied by many projector screen monitors that showed every room of the capital, including one at the center that showed the large meeting room where Obi wan could easily spot where Padme was at the large center table and with Anikin only a few feet from behind the large chair she sat. At least they were okay while he was gone, that takes some ease off his shoulders. The jedi turns back over to you where your eyes didn't meet the screens but at the desk below it, pressing buttons and looking through the countertops built in screens.

"So, are you going to explain what in the blazes you're doing here?"

"I got bored and decided to look around." Look around? Look around?!

"(Name)! We're here to see Senator Amidala on a diplomatic mission not some snooping sightseeing tour!"

"Annnnd we did, she's right there doing her Senator thing." You point off to the direction of the meeting room monitor. "Besides Anikin's with her, she's fine."

"This isn't about - what are you doing?"

"Looking for footage from when we landed in the bay."

"Why?" You pause for a brief moment before turning your head to give him a sincere look.

"I thought I felt something... odd when we landed and I wanted to check if I could see anything that could've been responsible for that." Felt something? Obi wan thinks back from only a few hours ago when the Senator's ship landed, he didn't feel anything out of the sort with the Force? Could you have felt something he didn't? He frowns at the thought but shakes his head.

"You could've at least told me this before just running off."

"Well I didn't know if I was imagining it or not and I didn't want to drag you into anything if it didn't mean anything. But I just had to see if it did..."

"So you sneak off into a capital's security room all by yourself just to prove yourself that?"

"I didn't-" An amused chuckle cuts you off before your surprised by the sudden clasp to your face. "Honestly, between you and Anikin I'm not sure what I'll do with you... however, you're a lot more tolerable at times with your shenanigans than he is."

You stand there for a few moments leaning into his touch before he even has realised he's done so for so long - pulling back and clearing his throat. "You should - go on and check it." He utters out. You give a nod before turning back and fiddling around with the small computer scrolling through records of past recordings throughout the last few hours from location to location until finally you settle on the exact one when you first arrived on the Senator's ship in the loading bay at front of the capital walls.

With a few buttons presses the recording flickers as the largest projection on screen as you both examine the footage for more details. Over and over the clip repeats: the ship lands, the Senator is escorted off followed by you, Obi wan, and Anikin, the Senator is greeted by the planet's royal advisor, and then your group is seen into the capital's gate. Nothing out of the ordinary.

"When did you feel it?" Obi wan asks.

"The moment we got off the ship." You watch as the man subconsciously reaches to twirl at his ginger mustache in thought. "It couldn't be the advisor, not if she were that close for you to feel it and neither me or Anikin didn't."

"There's nothing else here. Damn, maybe it wasn't near the capital at all? A disturbance somewhere else but why did only I pick up on it?"

"Maybe it was only so brief it ended before it could?"

"That doesn't exactly make me feel better."

"Neither for me either, but there are no leads here to be found or else we would've seen them by now."

A defeatful look merges across your face, a look that hurts Obi wan as you vert from his gaze and continue staring blanky at the screen before you - still playing that repeating clip. His eyes catch the door only a few feet away then back to you, an idea while probably not the... most appropriate in mind especially given circumstances, however, he can't help the fact that deep down in his gut that tells and orders him order to do at least something.

...

Alright, when he meant something he didn't exactly intend... this.

What he meant was nothing more but a simple kiss - brushing your hair back and letting his lips melt into yours to ease at your sweltering woes and to comfort you so that you two could sneak back off to the main hall to wait for Padme and Anikin to come back from the meeting and possibly settle this whole disturbance in the Force matter for when you head back to the Temple to talk it over with the council.

...not humping at each other like dogs.

Your legs hoop over his hips as he has you pinned down onto the desk below, encouraging each and every one of his rough uneven thrusts he pounds into you with the steady rocking of your calves and ankles into his lower back and only inches above his ass. Bite marks tattoo your entire neck and collar bone as his ravishes you, the tickling bristle of his facial hair leaving a constant tickling trail with every path his takes of your body with his mouth.

Your head rolls back as far as it can with you lying back on the desk - if you weren't neck deep in pleasure you would've actually give a damn about the poor bastard whose going to have to work in this space next after your done with it - his name comes out in strained breathy whimpers followed with each and every movement he roughly make into you.

Your hands travel up from his shoulders up into now messy, soaked in sweat, ginger locks as he pulls up from your chest to look down at you. He doesn't say anything but with the glazed over stare and the heavy weight you see between his lips it tells you all it needs to as you take in his handsome face for just a few moments before suddenly your grip that is intertwined with his gorgeous hair suddenly tightly a great fold as you yank his head harshly back that snaps out the most music to your ears higher pitched whine that if you hadn't known has been his kink ever since he was way younger with longer hair (ep2) that you could've sworn he had just to have begging be pulled, you wouldn't have ever suspected such a sound from General Kenobi. It actually makes you a bit giddy.

Of course it's a lot shorter now, so a bit less to have work with but it'll have to do what you can make do work as you tug and pull on medium hair length to have his head exactly where you want it and so you can milk the slight hisses sounds of pleasured pain as you drag him to the edge mixed in with his still continued pounding to your hole.

"D-Darling," He utters out, without a doubt closing in on his end but so were you. With a sudden tug you pull him forward so his lips can meet your own, your grip still secure on his hand but every once and awhile you let your palms mess around bout in it taking in all of its softness as well.

"-close, very close." Through gritted teeth he hisses out. Your chest heaves as you watch as bit by bit he breaks closer and closer towards his end in front of you, a smile finds a way to your face as you nod along telling him of your closure too.

When he does come it's as with every last bit of strength you have left to keep your body somewhat upright its to pull his hand back as hard as you can only increasing the volume of his climax further as his pleasure leaks hot onto the skin of your thighs before immediately he finds himself thrown over you, barely able to keep himself lifted as his hands pin at the sides of your body - meanwhile your body just completely jellos back onto the desk as your bones just melt.

From his place above you it takes Obi wan a good long several moments to recollect himself, his whole body layered it a visible coat of sweat and ginger hair in an absolute mess as you 'evidence' of your treatings of him, with a deep sigh and clearance of his throat he finally speaks.

"You know, this isn't exactly what I had planned for today but frankly... I'm fine with it. Better than hearing council meetings drivel on for a hour on end." You can't help but stiffle a chuckle.

"Don't let Anikin hear you say that."

"Oh I'm sure he'd agree with me, even with Padme or not he's the one that's stuck in there."

"Well lucky for us then."

"Lucky for us then." The jedi repeats, scooping a hand through his sweaty hair back to further refined himself back more as pushing himself off the desk. "Let's get cleaned up and head back out to the entrance hall, the meeting should be done momentarily."

It's when you watch him get redressed your mind wonders a bit... deep in your heart you desire to soak yourself in this moment you have together with him just a bit everso more but then of course you remember, this isn't... this isn't as deep even though your heart deeply wants it to be. You both live by the code and you both knew it. Even if your heart screams and demands for it, you push it away. This is nothing but. Besides with both being jedi it wasn't like you didn't 'see' each other, you were trained up together and worked together often it just wasn't what you deeply wanted it to be. And you keep telling yourself that's for the best.

"(Name)?" He calls out to you by the door after your cleaned off and redressed, you shake your thoughts out of your own head.

"You alright? If it's because the disturbance matter we'll-"

"Nope, everything's fine. Let's go, sneaking back should be... tricky with all the guards." His eyes flicker about your face but he lets it go. "It should be fine as long as we're not careless." He cracks open the door.

"Together?" You offer him a smile.

"Together."

If you like what you read please consider reblogging! It means the world for writers and artists!

Tagging list

No one on the tagging list currently for Obi wan.

The tagging list + how to be added to it.

[gentleoverdrive]

[5/300] 1800 miles of skeletons on the interstate!

I love my L.A. friends. Especially the ones who were either either born and raised there, partially raised there or have lived there long enough to be considered an Angeleno. Their hatred of automobile traffic, while seemingly clichéd to some, is a legit thing that happens when you've spent enough time around the "best coast". ---- A friend video-called me today to complain about how much he wishes he could punch El*n M*sk in the balls for fucking over the plans several of our friends/acquaintances had for improving the seemingly eternal L.A. traffic problem, and I couldn't help but to let out a sobering chuckle. For people in the West Coast, M*sk's bullshit has always been sort of a known quantity for as long as he's been in the spotlight in some way, shape or form since the late 90's. ---- It's sorta surprising that it took this long for news to travel around; it was almost as though we were back on pre-Web 2.0 days, but... well, I guess it just goes with the bias of the times or something. I don't know. Shit, it's weird to think about how quickly it took for M*sk's (in hindsight, not-so much) "carefully" curated image to unravel once the Disney and Fox-sponsored media handjobs (obviously they were not the only ones, but I'm laying the blame at their feet first and foremost) were no longer in the public consciousness to obscure the fact he's a fucking idiot. ---- Now, there's nothing wrong with being stupid, idiotic, etc or engaging in stupid-like behavior, even from people you'd expect better from, as long as you don't get yourself or someone else irrevocably hurt or worse. Despite my best attempts, I often fall on my face with great gusto trying to keep myself from fucking up. we're a perpetual work in progress, y'know? ---- But one of the advantages of being a dumbass who promises to do better is that you get to work on yourself when nobody is looking, in that way, you can sorta at least fade out from people's consciousness and, like, at least improve whatever perception/standing there was of yourself considered to who you were, even if the change is minimal. M*sk, unfortunately, kind of symbolizes that one tweet we love to quote when it concerns terminally-online people. ---- And it kinda sucks because, when you get down to it, he's just kind of a garden variety boring-ass, grifting failson, isn't he? It almost feels like the hatred my LA friends hold for him is kinda wasted, because the things he did are just the boring contractor equivalent of ratfucking, which yeah, it's asshole behavior, but hardly noteworthy. ---- There are plenty of rich people just out of sight who just mind their own businesses and rot their empathy in private, and you'd think M*sk would've figured out that he could benefit from taking a tour of duty away from the public eye, but maybe as that one quote from World War Z's own T. Sean Collins (named after T. Sean Shannon, Max Brooks' former co-worker in SNL's writing staff) goes:

___ You'd think it'd be hard, wouldn't cha? Either way, let's just make like Paul Anka & Lisa Simpson said and ignore the sad little cartoon boy, a'ight? See ya' later, alligator!

[booksandwords]

Magus of the Library, Vol. 4 by Mitsu Izumi. Translated by Stephen Kohler

Read time: <1 Day Rating: 5/5

The quote: Libraries amassers of memory galleries dedicated to history's thread and monuments to all life across time.

I finally got my hands on this volume of Magus of the Library, I was so excited when I saw that it was being transferred from the previous reader. This volume gets serious and by the end, everything changes. Essentially, no one is what you think. It's an intriguing ending that I guess I didn't see coming but I should have. The plot of this volume is fairly simple it is Theo trying to find his place in the system he is now in. And realising what he has to do excel and work in the library. The art is still lovely and the plot moves along and a decent place. It does start with a seemingly unrelated side story in which we meet the rather funny Kaz Blak. I'm not going to say while I like him that would ruin the fun. One thing that I do see in it is a great explanation of one underrated aspect of librarianship.

As with the previous volume the intervals between the chapters are all linked. They introduce Theo's classmates. These people, primarily women, are introduced in groups. These groups are done under titles The Banded Few, The Seaborn Souls, The Power of Smile, The Unyielding Majesty, The Harried Handlers, The Ends of the Spectrum, The Markedly Conspicuous and The Guiding Hands. Theo is in the The Banded Few with the only other two male trainees. Each one of these pages has a picture of the trainee and a brief rundown of them. The basic traits of them I mean. It will be very useful later I think. While the characters are distinct on the page, at least individual enough, there are a lot of them and their traits are going to be important.

Among these classmates are some familiar faces and plenty of new ones. I'm so happy that Alv is back. I really like him. He is so easily underestimated and I like his attitude. There is one classmate we haven't met yet "The 27th trainee of this incoming class. A girl yet to bet revealed for reasons that will eventually become clear." I can't think of any obvious reasons why we wouldn't have met her yet. Reasons that she would remain hidden. There is one very, very familiar name among the trainees and it wasn't until I was writing this review that I remembered why. The name is Sophie Schwimm, at 35 and she is the oldest of the trainees. The reason the name is familiar... Sophie Schwimm wrote Kafna of the Wind, the text Magnus of the Library is based on. That is just really interesting to me, this is lore within lore. Sophie survives the trials, training and exams being faced by the class now. I think it gives an idea of where she ends up after graduation too, either Archives or Personnel. I Sophie, I like her attitude and what she represents. Libraries are often a second career for their staff.

[fae-fucker]

Breaking Time: Part 1

After more moral deliberation than what is probalby justified, I've decided to snark this book after all. You see, I’ve sort of realized that what I have to say would make for a ridiculously long book review, so I might as well do this. But because the horse I'll be kicking is half-dead already, I figured I'd go easier on it, and this snark will be shorter and speedier than my usual ones, going at about five chapters per post, or 5 ch/p. This means I'll be mostly recapping the events and cutting back on my line-by-line nitpicking, only adding quotes when they're extra bad or when they're funny bad. If recap-heavy isn't your vibe, feel free to skip this snark.

So, a few important disclaimers before we get into this:

I don't follow Sasha on anywhere, never have, and never will. All I know about her personally is that she's got red hair and she's weaponized her awful taste in literatture to create a career for herself. She also seemingly can't write for shit, but got a publishing deal and became a New York Times bestseller off of her own fanbase. Gatekeep girlboss etc. I'm saying this to explain why I might not pick up on references to her own life or similarities between her and the main character, of which there are apparently many. Feel free to inform me of these if you like, but it's likely that I'll miss them in the text itself. However, that also means I'm not biased for or against Klara, so I'll be looking at her as her own character, as it should be tbh. Self-inserts are fine in fanfic but shouldn't be a thing in published lit.

I have an at best passing and at worst insufficient knowledge of the mythology and folklore that will be referenced in the book. Yes, I'm sorry, but I probably won't be able to know where Sasha fucks up, which means I'll fuck up by proxy. I know some very basic things, mostly stuff that overlaps with Nordic folklore, plus stuff I've picked up from other media, but I haven't done any in-depth research myself. So if you see something outrageously wrong and I don't pick up on it, feel free to inform me, just don't be a dick about it.

I have not read Outlander and I never will! However, I do have a good friend who has read it, so I might ask them about this stuff. This means I sadly won't be able to see just how close the similarities are (though I know Klara and Claire are basically the same name, shame on you Sasha), but I'm not about to read Outlander just for this snark, sorry huns. Some things even I won't read.

With all this in mind, what exactly will I be critquing if I can't talk about the most juicy stuff, you might ask? Well, everything else! The romance, the worldbuilding, the plot, the writing, the characters. I'd say there's plenty of stuff to look at aside from the most blatantly bad shit, and one could argue that this gives me sort of an unbiased and somewhat objective look at the work.

Okay, it's not fully unbiased of course. I'm doing a snark before I've even finished the book, meaning I fully assume it'll stay bad enough to talk about throughout. That's the definition of biased. But! I genuinely have no particular ill will toward Sasha or her work, and I want to see what she's cooked up for us, what she's been working on for so long. I thought Lindsay Cummings' standalone work wasn't phenomenal, but at least it was, I dunno, intriguing? I need to know for scientific reasons whether Sasha on her own can carry a novel, whether her solo projects will be any better than Zenith.

Now, you might wonder why I'm giving Breaking Time this treatment while The Murder Complex only got a review? For one, I didn't think TMC would be fun to snark, since it was just ... nothing. It woud just be me moaning about the stupid worldbuilding and edgy writing over and over. It was basically Zenith but on Earth, complete with another white-haired murderous waif.

But, if we have to be honest ... Who's the main person to blame for Zenith? Cummings didn't have any sort of audience before Zenith, and I don't know if she has one after. The only reason Zenith exists, and lbr, this book exists, is because Sasha already has a dedicated audience. (Though not dedicated enough anymore, judging by the GR ratings, oof.) So, in my opinion, if a YouTuber gets to coast off of their existing influence to sell their books while actually good authors have to scrape together what they can, then they deserve higher scrutiny from the public.

Because of her fanbase, she got to publish this book that genuinely reads like a first draft, something that wouldn’t have been published if the publisher didn’t know it would sell regardless of quality. I think that fucking uuuh sucks ass? So I’m here to tell you why that’s a bad practice and that publishing sucks and you shouldn’t buy Youtuber books.

Ahem. Well, that was long. Now let's get into it!

Chapter 1: Callum

The book opens in 1568, and we're in the POV of a man named Callum, who's staggering out of a pub in search of his friend Thomas.

We find out that Callum and Thomas are both pit fighters, and Thomas has recently been getting his entire ass handed to him, which is worrying. They both work for a man slash abusive father figure named Brice. They’re both orphans and Thomas is Callum’s older brother figure, so he’s very attached to Thomas as a role model, though Callum is especially bummed out about not having a mom.

Callum keeps wandering around looking for Thomas with no response, and he's extra worried because a while earlier, Thomas had given him his most prized and secret possession: a notebook. This would indeed be quite worrisome, Callum, I'm with you there.

Callum recalls that Thomas has been acting strange these last few months, disappearing at regular intervals and coming back weird and mean, talking about mystical creatures as if he'd met them. Thomas would also talk about mysterious men who leap between worlds, oooh.

They’re coming, Cal, you’ll see. It’s as simple as stepping through a veil.

Who’s coming, Thomas? What veil? Callum asked, and Thomas would laugh.

What an asshole, lol. Ok but why wouldn't he explain to Callum who he's talking about? He's clearly willing to talk about his other experiences. So what in-universe reason does Thomas have for just laughing Callum off instead of telling him what's going on? I know we need to keep it mysterious for the reader but this just makes no sense.

Giving me Soyina laughing at Andi for asking how she brings people back to life with "science."

Callum hears a sound and finds Thomas, super-stabbed and bleeding out fast. Callum feels bad about stealing his dirk earlier, he'd done it because he was worried Thomas would hurt himself with it, but now he thinks he might have been able to defend himself if Callum hadn't taken it. We also get this:

He wished suddenly, ferociously, that he’d had a proper mother, one whose wisdom he could call upon to calmly guide his hands. However, Thomas was the only family he had.

Literally what. I get that we have to establish that Callum doesn't have a mother and Thomas is basically his older brother, but we have already established that. This just feels really jarring to me. Like his best friend and brother is bleeding out and Callum is bitter about how he doesn't have a mom? Anyway.

Someone attacks Callum, a mysterious man with white hair and amber eyes. He's holding the dagger that he presumably used to stab Thomas, so Callum loses his marbles and attacks him right back. It doesn't do much of anything, and it seems the stranger has some sort of supernatural powers, ooh.

“I’m going to have fun with you,” the stranger whispered. “I like a man with a bit of fight in him. It’s more fun to play with your prey, don’t you think?”

Gee, I wonder if he's the bad guy. (But also I'm internally cringing because this is basically how I wrote the bad guy in my book at first before betas pointed out he was too hammy. None of us are above bad writing, kids. Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.)

“I dinnae believe I’m going to Heaven,” Callum said, raising his fists once more, drawing strength from the familiar ache that radiated through his arms. “But I cannae wait to bring you to Hell with me.”

You couldn't add a little "hasta la vista" in there? Or mayhaps a "yippee ki-yay, motherfucker"? No? Too much? Cuz I swear it would've fit right in.

Man, even when he's getting his ass beat by a bad man, our hero simply must have his little epic badass moment and the shitty one-liner, huh?

Plus, it's so clunky and awkwardly written. If it's supposed to be badass, why does it sound like he rehearsed it in the shower for ages and still got it wrong? If I were the villain here I'd defo giggle.

Anyway, his big dick bonanza doesn't last very long and the bad man cuts him up like a shish kebab. Callum collapses next to Thomas all dramatic, and then the bad man collects some of Thomas's blood.

“If you’ll excuse me, there’s one last Pillar I must find.”

Pillar?

The unearthly amber eyes melted into darkness as his opponent backed away and turned, disappearing into the shadows once more. Softly hissed words echoed in the alley. Àiteachan dìomhair, fosgailte dhomh, Àiteachan dìomhair, fosgailte dhomh…

A bunch of spooky magic mist surrounds the bad man and Callum is bleeding out. Then he hears Thomas’ voice saying “Get up, scunner” and this is enough to push Callum to a final attack, and he manages to grab onto the bad man (noticing that he has knots tattooed around his collarbone, those will be important later I guess) and time seems to stop just as his blade connects with the bad dude's neck.

A bright glow burned against his lids. He closed his eyes tighter and welcomed whatever might follow, only hoping he’d find Thomas there. A wall of light had formed above, descending as if the sun were pulling him through the sky. His body rose into its searing embrace.

He waited for the long drop to the ground, but it never came.

Callum kept soaring.

Not just through the street.

Not to death’s embrace.

But somewhere else.

Leaping to another world, like the man in Thomas’s story, Callum thought.

So he leaped.

The previous descriptions all sound distinctly like Callum has no control over his movement, but sure, end the chapter on that note just for the drama of it.

Honestly, for a first chapter, it's not bad! The writing is a bit iffy in spots, but it sets up one of the main characters, his background, his relationships and connections, his motivations, and it introduces an antagonist and some intriguing lore as well! It’s a little too fast for my taste, but overall, not bad!

Chapter 2: Klara

We’re in “Present Day” now, with our second protagonist. Her chapter starts like this:

Klara usually thought of rain as Scotland’s natural lullaby, but right now it felt more like the bars of a prison cell.

Hell if I know.

We find out that Klara is in covering for her aunt Sorcha (of course) as receptionist of Kingshill Manor, an old Scottish inn that Klara’s family owns that’s filled with old Scottish stuff that I’m sure Sasha researched for a whole five minutes. We also find out that Klara’s mother died fairly recently of cancer, and that Klara moved back to Scotland so she could apply to college there instead of in the States.

Her father used to be a CFO of a “boutique hotel chain” in the US, and boy am I suddenly reminded of why I rarely read contemporary romance. It’s just very hard for me to relate or care about an affluent pretty white girl going on adventures. Red hair isn’t a personality trait, no matter how many booktubers want to convince you it is <3

Anyway, turns out that Klara doesn’t actually want to study astronomy in Edinburgh because it was her dead mother’s dream rather than hers, and she’s now received a confirmation letter in the mail saying that her withdrawal has been accepted.

Klara wanted more than to study the stars—she longed to discover new ones. New worlds.

Yeah I’m pretty sure you still need to study astronomy in order to do that. Unless she means she wants to get into crystal healing or crypto.

Her dad returns home and Klara explains (in narration) that she’s not yet ready to tell him about her college decision, because he’s a big softie and is still deeply affected by his wife’s death. He convinces Klara to go do something because she hasn’t been outside in 3 days. She decides to schedule a visit to her grandmother over the weekend. And then ... grabs the car keys to go ... somewhere? We don’t really get any destination or anything. It’s clearly just a super clumsy way of getting her out of the house and into the car. Why couldn’t she just go to her grandma’s now? Idk man.

Before you read this next quote, I want you to know that Klara previously mentioned a doorknob in the shape of a horse’s head. It comes back now like this:

“Okay,” [Klara’s dad] said. “Be safe.”

She turned back again, smiling, leaving one hand on the doorknob. The horse’s cool brass nose pressed into her palm. She met his eyes. Dark green, like hers. It was the only feature she’d inherited from him.

The ... horse? The only feature she inherited from the horse head doorknob?

Look, I know what this is supposed to refer to, but man is it awkwardly written. This is something even a cursory edit would’ve picked up. Did nobody read this before it got published?

Idk.

Her dad invites her to go to the pub later to see a band, and we get the obligatory not-like-other-girls rant.

At eighteen, she could legally drink in Scotland. It should have been every normal American teenager’s dream, but Klara had never felt normal—not even before they uprooted their lives to a country across the ocean. Going to a pub to socialize with strangers was the last thing on her mind. Cute mailman aside, she preferred the leading men of romance novels, who were hot and charming and broody and didn’t try to pull her into any awkward conversations.

This will sound cruel but um. I hope this isn’t Sasha’s actual thought process, because this is straight up baby logic. I love cringey romance novel heroes as much as the next lonely fuck, but to aspire to date someone who’s similar to them IRL? Bruv.

Is Sasha single? I hope she is, because if not, her SO now knows what she actually wants in a partner given that she wrote her ideal man into a self-insert romance novel.

Anyway, she goes out for a drive and then sees a Mysterious Man on the road. She swerves to avoid him but finds his crumpled body on the ground anyway.

Chapter 3: Klara

Klara’s panicking and inspects the stranger. He’s barely conscious and covered in blood. Kingshill Manor is closer than any other town and hospital, and she forgot her phone at home, so she gets the guy into her car and drives back to call an ambulance.

He keeps mumbling something about Thomas, so she assumes that’s his name. Once back in the manor, he falls over and she lands with her head on his muscled chest, because of course. She inspects his hot bod and finds that he’s got no actual wounds, and worries that he maybe murdered someone.

Though he was slim, there was muscle on him. She took in his dark, curly hair and sun-bronzed face. Even in his rain-soaked, filthy state, she couldn’t help but notice how attractive he was. He kind of resembled the guy on the cover of A Loch Ness Lass in Love.

Yeah, Sasha’s Pinterest board for this book has pictures of a wet Henry Cavill and several equally wet lookalikes, none of whom I would call slim. Unless she means “slim” as in “not fat” and not “skinny.” 

Klara finds a dirk on him, the one we know he took from Thomas.

The blade was covered in dirt, but Klara could tell it was well taken care of, regularly sharpened and polished, free of rust. The studded handle was wound in leather, which was soft and worn. Cold crept up her spine. Like the dirk was used often.

Cold crept up her spine like the dirk was used often? Again, I get what this is supposed to say, but it’s so weird and awkward and reading it felt like getting smacked in the face. Just removing “like” would’ve saved it, IMO, which once again begs the question: who edited this?

Chapter 4: Callum

The chapter opens on a flashback of Thomas and Callum hiking up a mountain, which Callum hates but is doing for his bestie brother figure. Then it abruptly ends with Thomas telling Callum that he’s lost and it’s time to wake up. Very ominouse.

Callum wakes up in the now-times and is confused by everything. He thinks Klara is a bean-nighe and the paramedic inspecting him is holding some sort of weird metallic torch. Looking around, Callum seems to think he’s in some lavish mansion or something. Which I think he is, but even more lavish for him because he’s a 16th century peasant.

The doctor asks if Callum has been drinking, which Callum confirms and mentions The Black Heart, the same pub he had stumbled out of at the start of the novel that still exists in the present day. This, apparently, is enough to make the doctor believe he’s dealing with a drunk and recommend he takes aspirin and water and drinks a bit less.

So um ... Wasn’t Callum covered in blood? Like, not only that, but he’s likely concussed and seems confused by his surroundings? Wouldn’t a paramedic find all of this sort of alarming, even if the patient doesn’t have any visible wounds? This all seems very convenient to me.

Anyway, throughout all this, Callum is very aware of Klara becuase she’s just so pretty, and also because he thinks she might be a banshee.

“He’s lucky to not be dead.” The sound of her voice was strange, an accent unlike anything Callum had ever heard. Not Scottish—nor English, nor French—but spirited. Perhaps she was Scottish, after all.

There’s something deeply embarrassing and uncomfortably personal about this, like reading smut by a bad writer where you can tell this is specifically for them only and you’re just “lucky” to be along for the ride. The idea of an American author, obsessed with Scotland, thinking that a 16th century Scottish stud would find her modern American accent “spirited” enough to maybe be Scottish?

It’s embarrassing. You should be embarrassed. 

Also, this has introduced my first major issue with this premise, but we’ll get there.

Callum thinks Klara was the one who had healed his fatal wound and begins sheepishly cleaning up the mess he caused. Two American tourists walk in and assume he’s the receptionist? I have to reiterate that my guy is covered in blood, but the tourists seem to think he’s in costume.

Callum knew the lairds of the lands lived different lives, but he could hardly understand this man.

But Klara’s accent is spirited, is it? (We find out later that the tourists are Texan, while Klara lived in New York. Weird vibe, if you ask me. Doesn’t seem to make any linguistic sense why Callum would find one appealing and the other incomprehensible, but what do I know.)

There’s some more comedic shenanigans that you can probably imagine a better version of, but Klara returns and Callum has the obligatory think on how hot and beautiful and ginger she is.

Her beauty reminded Callum of the stories sailors told as they passed through Rosemere on the way to the coast—of the beautiful mermaids that ensnared men’s hearts and dragged them to the depths of the sea. He had never understood why, if the men knew what fate lay before them, they didn’t turn away from the sea-devils before it was too late.

Now, looking at the lady before him, Callum understood.

Insta-love? In MY shitty shovelware equivalent of YA? Perish the thought.

Klara orders Callum to go wait in a different room -- the paramedic has left by now, btw -- and Callum goes off to have a survivor’s guilt trip about Thomas’s death and how he couldn’t save him and how he should’ve been the one to die. He rips off his shirt because it’s got Thomas’s blood on it (sigh) and then makes a vow on one knee to get revenge on the man who killed Thomas. It’s very dramatic.

Chapter 5: Klara

Of course, Klara walks in on Callum doing his little half-naked vow. And God forgive me for showing this to all of your virgin eyes.

Other than on TV, which didn’t really count, she hadn’t seen many men’s bodies in her eighteen years of life—except for Steven, her ex-boyfriend. She would’ve felt guilty for almost forgetting about him but then again, he was forgettable. And Steven seemed to have forgotten about her when he cheated on prom night...

Callum’s body was...not forgettable.

Muscled. Ripped. Svelte. Bonnie. Tan and lean, with a dusting of dark hair on his upper chest which also sprouted below his belly button and went lower than she cared to admit she had noticed. Definitely not forgettable.

HE CAN’T BE MUSCLED AND RIPPED WHILE ALSO BEING SVELTE AND LEAN. THIS IS NOT HOW DESCRIPTIONS WORK. It’s like she just threw on all the “hot” words without thinking of what her character actually looked like.

Sasha, I will be in your walls later this week, so clear out your fucking schedule.

(Also “cheated on prom night” makes it sound like he cheated on prom night. As in he was dating prom night and cheated on it.)

Klara hurries off to find Callum some clothes from the lost and found stash. When she returns, he makes fun of her being embarrassed by his nakedness.

He chuckled softly and took the bundle from her hands. “Dinnae fash, it’s just skin.”

She allowed her gaze to drift downward. He looked back at her, eyes sparkling.

He held her gaze. Time seemed to slow and stretch, like freshly made taffy.

God, what love potion did she accidentally take? She wasn’t the insta-love crush type, and she didn’t need to become one all of a sudden.

1) What a wild tone shift. How is this anywhere near how anybody would act in this situation?

2) Just because you shine a spotlight on your bad choices doesn’t make them not bad choices, Sasha. “Uhuhuhu, if I SAY it’s not insta-love, then its not insta-love!” Not how that works, hun.

3) Did you just use the word gaze twice in three sentences. Editing whomst?

Anyway, they introduce themselves and Callum goes to change into his new fit. He does ask about the dirk and notebook he had on him, but Klara lies and says she found nothing, because she’s still worried he’s a serial killer and doesn’t want him to have his knife. Fair enough.

She says she never found a phone on him but that he could use hers to call someone, then offers her dad to give him a ride home, but gets nothing in response. She offers him food and that gets him going. Then when Callum seems confused by his mishmash of new clothes, we get this:

“Yeah. Come on, [the clothes] scream vintage.”

She put the nuked breakfast burrito onto a plate and turned to see a bewildered Callum sitting at the other end of the table, staring at his hands.

“Acid wash? Scrunchies? Lots of hair spray?” Nothing. “Taylor Swift’s 1989?” He looked even more confused.

Hey Sasha, um, don’t mind my T-posing behind you at this very moment, but when do you think Taylor Swift’s 1989 was released? Just asking.

Klara suspects that maybe Callum comes from some isolated village, or that he suffered some sort of brain injury, which one would think the EMT would also wonder, but I guess the healthcare in Scotland is pure doggy doo-doo in this universe.

Klara slid the plate of food across the table.

“I hope you’re not a vegetarian.”

He gave her a questioning look. “I’m no Lutheran, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Uh...” Was that the famous dry Scottish humor she still didn’t get? “Do you like meat?”

He nodded, shaggy hair flopping with the movement. “Very much.”

Klara gave him a tight-lipped smile. His deep Scottish brogue was probably the thickest accent she had ever heard, which was saying a lot because a Glaswegian school group had once visited the manor.

Ah yes, the deep Scottish brogue of “very much.” Seriously though, why is his speech reduced to just having a thick accent? These people aren’t only thousands of miles apart in space, but nearly 500 years apart. They should not be able to communicate.

It feels like Sasha couldn’t even be bothered to look up those funny Scottish tweets that went viral a while ago, to make it seem at least slightly more authentic. Or ask any actual Scottish person to read through this mess.

Anyway, Callum thinks that Klara cooked his food, which she technically did, and is surprised by what he thinks is a noble lady doing the cooking herself.

“I thought the rich always employed a kitchen staff. You’re a...different sort of lady.”

“A different sort?” Was that a compliment or an insult? Klara laughed, mostly to hide a wince. Her family wasn’t rich—far from it—she couldn’t blame Callum for assuming. She did live in a massive, cool manor house brimming with antiques and oddities.

“Far from it”??? Didn’t you say your dad was a CFO of a boutique chain in the US? Babygirl just say you’re privileged and move on, you’re not fooling anybody with that “uhuhu we’re so HUMBLE and POOR in our MASSIVE HISTORIC MANSION FILLED WITH ANTIQUITIES.” This is why I can’t read contemporary romance written by pretty straight white women. I have to suffer through characters thinking that not being able to afford a fifth Live, Laugh, Love sign is oppression.

Also, if you remove “far from it,” the sentence becomes “Her family wasn’t rich, she couldn’t blame Callum for assuming.” This makes no sense, even with the aside. Did you miss a word somewhere? WHO EDITED THIS?! A little monkey???

They end up talking about Thomas being gone and Klara gets all sad about it because loss is tragic etc, and they bond over it. I’m not gonna say anything about this because I assume this is based on Sasha’s own life. Klara offers to help him find whoever took Thomas from him, but doesn’t know where Rosemere is, so instead they decide to go to The Black Hart.

She drives him there and thinks he’s about to kiss her before he gets out, which she doesn’t seem to mind, but this isn’t insta-love! It’s NOT insta-love! Shut up!

Callum gets out and heads for The Black Hart, but obviously it’s all modern and different now, so he chickens out and walks into the forest instead. Klara is compelled to follow him because of a Mysterious, Unexplained Feeling. Like, she’s physically pulled back into the plot by it. Watch the master Sasha at work, crafting her story for us to enjoy:

And yet, though she had only known him a few hours, she felt a tinge of sadness.

Well, less of a tinge...more like a pull.

[...] Deep in her chest, a knot formed. It was the strangest thing. Like nothing she had felt before. It wasn’t love, or empathy. It was a physical feeling, like a rope was tightening around her ribs. [...]

But the farther she drove from The Black Hart, the more the feeling intensified. It felt as if something was pulling her back. The longer she resisted, the tighter it became, until it was so tight, she felt like something would break inside her.

“What is this,” she choked, turning the wheel around. Her body moved of its own accord, but her brain was still trying to catch up.

To her relief, the feeling lessened as she got closer to the pub. [...]

Trust yourself.

Her mother’s words came to her, so loud and real in Klara’s mind that she actually looked to see if her mother was standing just outside the car, calling to her.

Yeah, excapt don’t trust yourself. Trust the plot literally pulling you back into it with mysterious feelings.

GOD. I said “mini snark” and then wrote this. So sorry, everyone. But also, no I’m not <3

[thedayaftertomorrow]

I've been writing a lot again, and I think I'm actually gonna finish this story! :) I'm really happy with it. Anyways, here are some writing tips I needed to hear that I've had to figure out myself. Hopefully it can help you if you need it! Sorry it's so long, I'm a passionate little bastard!

So first, I wanna say that it's okay to let go of the standard way of doing things. You don't have to write in Times New Roman, you don't have to have 20 page long chapters (who says some of them can't be four pages or less? Just look at Maximum Ride), you don't have to plan out the entire book before you write it. Do what works for you. I used to write in Times New Roman on my laptop and it just wasn't working for me. So I made changes and now I write how I want to! For me this was writing in a soft, comfy font that I like (Comfortaa). I also write on my phone because getting my laptop out took a minute and was just another excuse to put off writing. So I write on Google docs on my phone and it makes writing so much easier. I write while I eat, while I'm falling asleep, while I'm laying on the couch, while I shower or go to the bathroom, while I brush my teeth, etc. I can write my book anywhere, anytime.

I have a bunch of documents, one for each thing I need: book, table of contents, character traits/outlines, ideas/important notes, potential quotes (where I write scenes that I want to include in the future or even just good dialogue quotes I think of and wanna incorporate), deleted scenes (where I put scenes that didn't work), plot outlines, my thoughts about my book (where I rant to the void about what I'm excited about/how I feel about my book because I can't tell people about it yet) And that's not even all of them. There's like twenty at least. If you have a thing you want to jot down and no place for it, it's okay to make a document for it. You can't keep ALL that info in your brain permanently, love.

I don't look at how many pages I have very often. This is another reason why using docs on my phone is so nice. I can't see the page count unless I turn on print layout! So I'm not stressing about how many more pages I need to write.

I have a plot outline but I don't follow it to a T, and there's plenty of wiggle room. I planned for a couple weeks before writing and now I'm planning and changing the rest of the plot as I write it. Planning and writing is a delicate balance as far as finding what works for you, but I've learned that I can't plan for a year, then write, cause I'll loose interest before I even write the first chapter.

I saw a similar tip to this one on Tumblr actually and tweaked it to work for me. I can feel it when what I'm writing isn't working. If feels like I can't write anymore from here. I feel like giving up. I feel like I ruined the book. What I do when this happens is figure out what element is ruining it (examples I've done: 1. Adding magic [and I think fairies too?] out of nowhere. 2. Having two characters, who are friends, physically fight over something small when really they'd never do that. 3. Taking electricity out of my story. 4. Introducing a character too soon and in a way that's our of character for them.). Then I get rid of that entire section (this can be several pages long, or even more) and I put it in my deleted scenes doc and delete it from my book. I then continue like that never happened and it works again! I just go "well that doesn't work. It's hard to get rid of it, but let's get rid of it and move on!" Don't give up. Change it.

I made my book one that I'm obsessed with. I have to be its biggest fan or it won't get written. It needs to be a story I love with settings I love, with characters I love. So I mashed a few story ideas of mine together (all of which didn't work on their own, like I couldn't get more than twenty pages out of them), added some excitement to it, and got a story I love. It has things I wanna talk about, writing it helps me work through issues I'm upset about within my self, and I think about my characters and scenes every day, almost all day. Make something you can become obsessed with. If it's just an okay story to you, you probably won't wanna write it.

I have a balance of comfy, cozy scenes and exciting, dangerous scenes. This keeps me happy and excited, and should hopefully make future readers neither stressed or bored.

I do things for my book other than write. I draw maps and floor plans of the settings. I'm bad at drawing people but I draw some of my characters. I write down my favorite quotes from my characters. I even made a stuffed animal that one of my favorite characters has and it's adorable! This keeps me interested in my book and helps me get my creative juices out more. The maps also help a lot with seeing the world and explaining how things look and work.

I did my best to make all of my important characters people who are rounded out, flawed, talented, and interesting. Some characters are based a little off of a vibe. I have a character who feels like a pirate. She's not, but she feels that way to me and it kind of helps me build her character. I made my main character the person I often wish I was. The love interest is someone powerful and independent that I'd love to date. One of my other main characters is the opposite of what you'd think he'd be.

I made my villains interesting and dynamic. I have one who isn't even evil, he's just neutral. I have another who's trying to do good but going about it all wrong. They aren't just evil, they have their own goals and lives, families and friends and lovers. But then some of them are just evil, because some real people are just evil, nothing more, no reason for it.

Oh, and another thing. I've seen so many posts saying to have a clear goal for your character, but I can't figure out how to do that for the life of me, so I just write and let it work itself out. I don't know what my goal is in my own life, how should I know theirs? They're just people doing their best.

I hope at least some of this can help somebody. Have a great week :)

[kurepritchard38]

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[hospitalterrorizer]

diary78

11/28-29/2023

tuesday -wendesday

light on reading today, but:

i still did it, at least.

this is simply a good quote to have around, the carnivalesque is powefully aligned with much good art, i feel. another interesting bit in a prior section made me think of hour of the star.

this makes me think of the appearance of the framed narrative, over and over, the book being written as if you were witnessing the machinations of another author, an "i" who is truly anonymous, outside the system of the author/true author, lispector, and macabea, you really get thrown around the varying subjects, and are forced into identification with/against these figures at various points, the narration being, in that novel, several conversations, layers of discourse, perhaps no more than two, but they are complex, if anything, more enmeshed, the falsity of the narrative makes evident the signs the novel is playing with, but it never dissolves them completely, the tears will still come, the weight arrives, but it is toyed with, to its very limit. the drama of it remains there.

a strange thought:

on youtube, i remember it used to work like this:

your video stays around long enough, it will accrue views over time. this isn't 'good' because views are positive, but it meant people would see whatever dispatches were made, possibly, at least the curious could see/would. it seemed more certain, it's also the case that i'm thinking of music videos especially, where things over time just become more traveled (this will likely remain the case, as old yt uploads of songs do better than topic uploads, sometimes, and have more going for them). right now though, it seems that everything will continue to trend towards the immediate, and up to 3 years is lost, ready for the garbage heap. the thought makes me think about old let's players i watched, like trask nari, and if his videos will simply be totally forgotten, or if at some point in the future, people will find things like that, and say: these old vibes are so much better than right now. a weird future.

currently thinking about the way 'the gaze' is used right now in the whole indie sleaze thing, it's very obvious/weird but it's strange to me how it's kind of coming out of this reactionary pulse in ny, especially in their theory re:art, that it's losing the sense of 'the erotic' or something, but gaudy videos that zoom right into women's asses is not really 'the erotic'. but it isn't the case that the erotic as actually founded in being chaste, or restrained, it's a particular sense of heat, so a naked body can be erotic, think of schiele or bellmer, or in writing, bataille describing naked bodies, so much before you, that you are in the middle of, or baudelaire's description of the bloated corpse. these are all plain displays of nudity, the imaginary though, is still involved. the obvious does not negate the imaginary, usually the two gather so much speed so quickly they travel elsewhere, and so in each of these examples i've listed (many come to mind, genet, cocteau, blanchot's description of fever) take the erotic to somewhere strange, and it feels actual, i suppose. there are plenty of things in the realm i like, honestly there are times i dress very skimpy, this summer i had my ass out basically (something to be said about how some of these videos i am seeing are directed by women, so there is a level of i guess wanting/needing to be sexy), but something about the camera/the particulars of the editing are strange. often the videos are just women half-dressed, skinny, posing. they don't do much, other videos though (tu tu neurotic specifically (which seems a lot like violet vanalden's other work, it has her in it, i wonder if she directed/edited?)) oscillate between the oversexualized and then these strangely emotive/violent bits. violet takes this to an extreme with this video (don't want to embed it because it's giving me evil vibes). i don't like this really, the fact that new york weirdos have created this weird, super-vitalistic fantasy of what art should be, and that this is what being erotic means (or is it really what it means now, and i am the weird one for wanting to be tied to a tree and beaten? (or writhe on the ground (always, i am wanting to be in the middle of something, to forget i got there (there it is, the erotic always follows a sequence similar to dreaming, you end up with people inside of you, half knowing why, by their intent, the expressions on their face, but the details fuzzy)))). i am not sure what solution there is, in all honesty, the dare (the musician) who got accused of having fully clothed teens in sexual positions on his album art (they weren't, it was a strange moment where wearing a tennis skirt and being skinny = young (or trying to look young? (a whole way of dressing thrown out as too fantastical))), seems to be the least insane or freakish in this way. his music is goofier about sex, he really doesn't seem compelled by the weird screeds written in compact mag or whatever else (these ny people seem to love doing print only magazines (so the woke horde cannot cancel them (to make them seem worth 'cancelling'? (to buy into their cool club, mostly, though)))) about how sex is gone from art, but i am sure they loved what happened to him, those people, as they felt it proof of their own narrative, that the world right now is totally puritan (while pornography proliferates, higher and higher numbers, and the spectacle has found a way to make prostitution seem less like a kind of torturous work one turns to while in throes of serious material lack, while shows like euphoria are super crazy popular and whatever, too (they love that guy, the director, they're going to all say his show, the idol, is totally genius (actually they already are))). essentially they want to look, i think, that's what it's about. hang the icons of sex in frames, stare, and then from there, aroused, they can have sex for reproductive purposes, like bug people.

it is crazy that they call everyone else bugs, but they really are the most bug-like.

takato yamamoto

anyway, it's late, i am getting sleepy. i did work on music today, i got that song's last part out, the one i was talking about last night, and soon i've gotta get through all the songs i have exported rn and i need to go and do the subtle mixing stuff and put the reverb on them, and see where we are on everything. the song also has more of a lyrical idea, since the last part is written out. i always write about voyeurs, especially in music. i dunno why. i should put that confusion in the song. i am just worried about finding a way to fit words over the first parts of the song, since it's pretty fast/hardcore.

but i am exhausted basically, so:

byebye!!!!!