#at least one hobby i can still pursue atm

[murderous-coffeebean]

Tiny life update (also re: the Discworld requests from last fall):

I hurt my right hand some two months ago, resulting in pain when moving my thumb, which... uh. Severely restricts my use of it at the time being. I’ve picked up drawing left-handed since and am doing pretty decent for it being my non-dominant hand, but... yeah. While I’m working on something at the moment, I haven’t been able to pick up the requests I was working on before all this happened, so. While I might post some older art in the upcoming weeks/month/s, I might also not post much until I can get this fixed (hopefully soon; please cross your fingers for me, as I have a second doctor’s appointment for this issue next week).

[cluescorner]

Tim Drake has a weird fucking function

The thing about Tim that I find unique is that his life became SO MUCH WORSE after joining the heroing thing. Everybody else had a mid-to-shit life before becoming a hero/living with Bruce and mostly everybody (except Jason who LITERALLY DIED) had their life improved by being a hero/being Bruce's kid (or at least it is typically portrayed as such.

Tim had the exact opposite trajectory. His life wasn't perfect before he became Robin, but like...multi-millionaire/billionaire (canon is unclear, but he's within Gotham's upper-strata) kid with both natural intelligence + charisma and a bright future ahead of him and parents who were emotionally neglectful but nothing really beyond that (which is also a form of trauma, but all of the info we have indicates that the Drakes were no Arthur Brown or David Cain) and he still had other people he could rely on outside of them. He went to boarding school, which could be something horrible OR something amazing depending on your own thoughts/experiences. I grew up having a commute where we'd drive past a really pretty and rich af boarding school that literally everybody in our area DREAMED of going to, so to me the idea of going to boarding school sounds incredible but mileage may vary. Tim seems like the type of kid who would thrive in that though. Based on what we know in canon atm, his pre-robin life was fucking amazing.

And then he starts being the sidekick and working towards becoming Robin. His parents immediately get kidnapped and poison themselves through drinking tainted water; his mom dies and his dad is in a coma. This is not the fault of Robin, but Tim himself muses about the idea that Robin and dead parents are linked: to become Robin completely, you must lose your parents. And with how fate/destiny/canon events can operate in comics universes, maybe he isn't that far off. Once his dad wakes up, their relationship becomes strained as the man grieves the loss of his wife and realizes that his son has been doing vigilantism as a hobby. It is unclear exactly how good of a parent Jack was before the incident, but the results of Tim's involvement with the Robin mantle has definitely made things worse between father and son. Jack will also die within quick succession of 2 of Tim's best friends, his girlfriend, and his other father. He will also effectively lose like 1/2 his loved ones in the fallout of all of that mess including: his older brother, his other friends (both civilian and superhero), and the stepmother with whom he shared what I would argue is his best parent-child relationship (Dana also may have died, but it's left unclear). He has stopped pursuing higher education (the moment he even applied for college he 'died', and it seems he hasn't made another attempt since) and if he wasn’t a major focus of the media before he sure is now. He tries to quit briefly (in fact he initially was planning on quitting once someone more suited came along) and cannot bring himself to do so. Even when he does manage to get away for a while, his superhero life impacts the pre-robin life he is trying to go back to. Leaving is an impossibility, this is all there is for him now. He also isn’t allowed to make mistakes anymore, not when lives hang in the balance. The one who enforces that impossible standard the most (besides Bruce depending on who's writing) is himself. He’s got TRAUMA now and people want to hurt him constantly. He is constantly questioning his own sanity and morality and place in the world. He almost dies like every month. Tim grows colder and less grounded, he is becoming both a better and a worse version of himself at the same time. He’s saving lives in the same few issues as he’s setting up a Saw movie plot for the man who killed his father. He is haunted by the ghosts of his past and the looming figure of his future. His life becomes SO MUCH FUCKING WORSE after he becomes Robin. Some of it is the fault of others, some is the fault of circumstance, and some of it is due to his own actions. But basically all of Tim's worst traumas and life-changing moments are either tied to or caused by Robin. Dick's parents would still be dead, Jason would still be living on the streets, Stephanie would still have Arthur Brown for a father and a lot of other things that deserve their own posts/IDK if they've been retconned, and Damian would still have been raised in the eco-cult where death is a constant. Those are life circumstances that occur without the involvement of Robin, the only one who even needs Bruce involved at all in their series of events is Damian. But Tim? All of what is considered his 'worst' moments occur after he assumes the role.

This idea is what I find the coolest and most fascinating about Tim as a character. Being a hero is usually portrayed as either an outright awesome thing or a righteous duty that one must fulfill or (maybe in a grimmer and/or more grounded story) a sacrifice to your interpersonal relationships/mental health that is made for the greater good. For Tim, being a superhero actively ruined his life (both because of the general circumstances surrounding being a kid vigilante and the choices he made as part of that role). It's never portrayed that way in canon because we need to come out of issues going 'wow being a superhero is so cool! I'm gonna buy the next issue!', but when you just look at Tim's life literally everything really bad that we know of occurred after he became Robin.

[fairycosmos]

how did you find out what you want to do for a living? I feel like everything I want to pursue takes so much work to get there and I just feel heartbroken over never finding a job that pays me well enough aghhh

tbh when it comes to what i do for a living it's not what i, in an ideal dream world, actually "want" to do. it's just smth i find bearable, that pays the bills and i can manage alongside my mental illness......went to school for childcare/education which i wanted to do for a long time or i thought i did but even then the reality was different and i couldn't afford to live......when it comes to smth i actually want to do in a perfect world i still haven't made up my mind LOL. and i would love the chance to explore different options to finally know what i would like to dedicate myself to, tbh i just don't have the option.......i think atm i'm kind of in a mindset of "work a job that pays the bills and then whenever i have the energy on weekends or certain weeknights explore my hobbies/interests and pursue them" without ever really thinking about monetising them unless i somehow someday can through night classes or freelancing or whatever. idk this is very specific advice that very well might not apply to you, it's just the position i've found myself in. i will say though that a lot of jobs are a lot of work anyway. even ones you really love. so you might as well be pursuing smth you like or enjoy bc you're going to put the time/effort in anyway! totally understand that financial barrier though, that's a really big thing for me as well. i'm trying to accept that there's no set timeline and that things really can work out differently than you ever expect them to and still be good or at least manageable, ywkim?

[myfriendthedictionary]

Hiii paige multiples of 11 for the ask game!! Also i hope u have a good day today yay!!

hiya!!!! i hope you had a good day too!!! ^^ mine was really quiet ahskdj i had the day off from class after midterms so i just p much made rice and then uhhhhhh drew n zoned out for a while haha .,, ahskdhs my main hobbies lol! ^^

11. favorite social media account

uhhhh as in one to use?? i like tumblr or discord haha,, if it means like accounts i follow, i greatly enjoy watching pma’s cat on his insta... i think it’s the only story i consistently check 😭

22. do you go to the gym?

sometimes! i did when my uni was open and i was living on campus since they have a student one. i don’t have a membership,, also i mainly do jogging and running so when i exercise (which is. less often than i probably should-) i usually just hop the fence and sneak onto this high school’s track at night lol,,

33. favorite actor

uhHHHHHH off the topic of my head i know. no names. help,,

44. what’s your biggest fear?

oh gosh uhhhhh im really really claustrophobic? so i might say elevators. i don’t use them,,, there’s others but that’s like the least concerning one ahskdhska

55. what’s your dream job?

baby paige really wanted to be in theater and there’s a part of me that still does. it’s a part that would not like it if I was to pursue it but ahskdhsk it’s still there-

66. have you ever won a spelling bee?

i’ve actually gotten dead last in every spelling bee ive ever been in,, agskdhsksh

77. do you miss anyone right now?

a few people for sure! mainly i miss my best friend! she lives in japan atm but when she comes back to uni im going to never let her leave /j we were supposed to room together this year but campus never opened up... but hopefully I’ll see her before i graduate!!

88. do you like it when people play with your hair?

it depends! people i’m comfortable with, for sure!! otherwise not really.... im used to people grabbing it kind of randomly, so i get nervous about it. i typically keep it pulled back or in braids just to avoid it if i can when im around people i don’t know

99. what’s your zodiac sign?

i’m a Sagittarius! i think my full birthchart is sag sun, aries moon, gemini rising which is. it’s a lot there! personally i don’t know much about astrology but most people I know who do tell me they don’t get that vibe off of me which I’m like ????? is this a pro or a con haha!

[milkway]

🐰 🐹 🌠 ☀️ 🌟 🐾 🎵 ⚡️ 💛 🌺 💥 😊 😔 🐧 💫 🎀 🎬? Sorry if that's a lot sfhsghs it was. a long list

oh fuck read more time!!

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone?

my lactose intolerance might be kicking in slowly and im kinda ridiculously sad about it hjgDJH

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why?

pichu/pikachu bc my pals have associated me with em, buizel and shinx lines bc theyve always been my sinnoh mvps, eelektross and galvantula bc i love their designs sm... flygon is my all time fave just cause!! i love the design and typing...i love shieldon bc it was my fav partner in pkmn ranger shadows of almia! and i rly love dodrio it was such a surprise powerful pkmn in my xy plathrough i love this cerberus bird

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like?

hopefully more fair, kinder, cleaner and not destroyed by global warmning lol

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend?

i dont feel like i gotta pretend to be something im not around the two of them! i can always be honest and not feel embarassed and thats sth i rly appreciate. also theyre both just really kind and cool and good

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)

uhhh i like how i keep pursuing art despite life getting in the way, i like my hair and i like that im good at math

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it?

getting my degree and applying to jobs? ill just have to buckle down and get over it lol but rsd is a fuck and i feel like any failure would be crushing to me

also being in a relationship and i will overcome it by not getting into one ! i dont think its for me

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment

nobody else will be there - the national / old town road - lil nas x / bridge burning - foo fighters / dustbusters - delta sleep / head on - *repeat repeat

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why?

shapeshifting, that nb dream..................maybe communicating with animals bc..i love animals lol

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?

u can come out to ur friends and they wont beat u up, promise. also it gets better! itll keep getting better

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn?

fluent in polish, pretty much fluent in english, basic german and basic japanese. im taking japanese in uni so hopefully i will continue to learn that but id also love to know swedish and maybe italian!

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have?

oh man idk. i dont think communism is all that great but im polish so that might be like Wildly affecting my view of it lol. communist regimes are Still a thing too so, its just hard for me to subscribe to that fully. even if the ideology itself is great and would be great were it to work in practice

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies?

drawing! any sort of art rly! not much else atm.. hope i can pick up sth computer sciency since thats my field in uni currently.. or embroidery! or trying to make tunes or games or smth!!!

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?

i go through some funney mindless lps i can remember at the time and just watch those, maybe do sth related to current Big Interest, draw until i feel better. when its rly bad i force myself to take a full body shower and brush my teeth, even if rly rly do not have the spoons for it. it doesnt always help but keeps me from breaking down usually

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words

just a milk

💫 who inspires you?

my friends!

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?

i like casual/lowkey sporty fashion. my wardrobe does not reflect it currently but i hope to change that bit by bit

🎬 what are some of your favourite films?

big eden (watch big eden), jordan peele’s us, into the spiderverse, treasure planet, tekkon kinkreet, paprika, akira, mulan, coraline, paranorman

prompts