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writing-whump · 2 months ago

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Too many thoughts

Have some angsty spiralling Isaiah getting sick at night before an important wolf meet.

Hector hasn't called since that fight.

And Isaiah was fine with it. What did he care? Hector could sulk and be angry and feel entitled all he wanted.

Really, what did Isaiah lose? Why should he be the only one always trying? Stepping back, making room, giving time? Showing understanding, patience, retreating to meet him?

Okay, maybe it wasn't that okay and that easy to let go. Isaiah couldn't be dishonest with his shadow around. He would not hurt himself with lies.

It mattered and it stung, but it wasn't fair and he wasn't budging.

Maybe he should. Especially at night, like this, alone with his thoughts and no distractions, the little hurts kept poking his brain.

Isaiah was the older brother. Hector was bad with emotions, immature, overwhelmed, still learning to be responsible and accountable. He spend years living a lie, a protective cocoon Isaiah created—that Isaiah sacrificed himself for—and it was hard and slow process to adjust to reality emotionally too.

Isaiah had worked very very hard not to resent him for it.

For not noticing something was wrong, when they were kids.

For being more focused on jealousy and rivalry than if Isaiah was okay.

For making him into his ideal, putting him onto a pedestal to defeat instead of letting him be human.

But Isaiah was the older brother. Thr bigger person. The one with the training privileges. The one who spent all that time with father—the good time, when Vincent was still sane, kind, wise and taught Isaiah everything he knew.

Whatever the madness was and what it took, it wasn't just bad things. Vincent taught him how to treat strays, how to train, how to be just, how to help.

Isaiah loathed lot of things about himself and hated the consequences of Vincent's wounds left on him.

But the truth was, everything good he did, the skills and the knowledge—the tools to help Matthew, to teach Rip, to protect Seline, to balance the packs—all of that came from Vincent too.

How could you resent and love someone so much at the same time? Even when it became easier, or maybe just possible to think about, it didn't make it easier to speak about it.

Who would understand? And who deserved to be burned by something like this?

So the very least Hector and Arnie could do is respect that. Not ask, not doubt, not blame him. That's all he wanted. Was that so much?

Why did he always have to step back for them, make all the effort? Couldn't they meet him halfway too? They weren't kids anymore...and he was tired of it.

Arnie's meager little meetings and running into Hector during the wolf meets...they only came when they needed him for something. Isaiah, solve this. Help me with that.

Validate me, support me, take my side.

He tore himself to pieces for them and once they understood it, they thought it was the new standard of their interactions? That's what he was obligated to do, now and forever?

He could be the bigger person. He could stop this tension, this restlessness, this...grief and loss he felt. The emptiness in his life that couldn't be covered by noble reasons and excuses anymore.

He was the one choosing to cut them off now. Doing exactly what they blamed him for in the past. When he bore it for their sakes.

Isaiah turned from his back onto his side, gripping the pillow harder.

It was his choice. He could stop it. Forgive it, step back, let them go back to normal.

If it was his choice, he swore to himself he would always choose them. What did it matter if they deserved it or not?

Maybe he should do it for selfish reasons. He would feel better, resorting contact—knowing they were fine, being close, sharing onto their lives.

That way, they would think they won, but he would be at peace. Weak looking or not.

Isaiah squeezed his eyes shut. He was tired and wanted to sleep. There was a big Eastern holidays meet tomorrow. He needed to bring his best game, come in best shape.

Hector would be there and he would have to avoid looking at him. Avoid getting upset.

Kieran would be there. Cause that was always fun, seeing him poke and sniff at his wounds like a shark.

Rip would be there. Hiding in the shadows of the shadows, cause the society he was working for ad Executioner's apprentice wouldn't accept a stray they themselves created.

So much unfairness. So much work he needed to do. Sleep was a waste of time, really. If he could last without it, he would make so much more progress on all these projects.

He envied Seline's peace. She would stay home, enjoy the holidays, work on her thesis and PhD proposal. She would write songs, read books, watch a series or two, not at all worried she was missing out on something.

So happy with this balance of time, of being concerned with only finding inspiration on the free days. Only scared of losing the rhythm of life she already enjoyed.

And Matt. Matt would do his workout routine, his run. Trian with Dylan or with Rip. Study for exams. Bicker with Seline about what movie to watch and if it needed to be Chinese or Korean again.

He could ask them to come with him. Make it a little easier.

He could let them have a carefree life they deserved.

Who was he to take it away? Nobody asked him, if he wanted this. He would not do the same thing to someone else.

His pulse picked up. In his mind, he could imagine his arteries closing up, tightening. The blood thickening, as the flow started to hurt, as his heart fluttered in effort to push through.

He couged into the blankets. His chest constricted, his lungs heavy, like made of cement and not of tissue. His heart was hammering in his ears.

If he didn't slow this train of thought, he would make himself sick. His stomach flipped inside him and the first crawls of nausea, like cold fingers up his back, nape, stroking around his jaw.

Shut up, shut up, shut up.

He imagined going outside, onto the roof. Letting his shadow out. Letting himself feel.

Even the thought calmed him a little. He should do it soon.

He turned on his other side, Matt in his sight. Snoring softly, mouth ajar.

Hector called Matthew instead of him.

Bile rose in his throat. He swallowed it heavily. That's how far they have come now.

He closed his eyes, checking for Seline's steady breathing upstairs. Focusing until he could pinpoint it, lose himself in it.

Seline didn't tell him about Dylan. Only now, years after, she told him a school story that led to the police and to his depression and his episodes. Explaining the situation of that young wolf.

Shrugging, like it wasn't a big deal. She hadn't told him, cause it wasn't actual, not just her secret and not something he could help with. It wasn't something to bring up over coffee, she said.

His tounge tasted like sandpaper. The air was hot and raw and painful, in his nose, his eyes, at the back of his throat.

Isaiah buried his head harder into the pillow, losing hearing in one ear from the pressure.

His stomach twisted painfully. His dinner, hours ago, felt heavy now, like it stopped digesting halfway through and decided to go backward instead. The cramp made him gasp into the sheets.

They smelled of sweat. His shirt was glued to his back, the sheets clinging to the shirt and the pants. He scrunched his nose at how gross it felt.

His stomach lurched. Of all things about this? Like a last drop for the night.

Isaiah got up from the bed in haste, forgetting a little how wobbly it would feel with his blood pressure this high.

He shook himself, leaving the shoes behind in the dark, stumbling towards the bathroom as quick as he could.

The light was blinding, but grounding too, making the suffocating darkness a little easier to bear.

Braced against the cold sink, he looked at his mirror expression. Watched himself gasping for breath, throat all closed up without a visible cause.

Pathetic, really.

His chest felt torn up, like it was bleeding, with raw patches of meat missing in the middle.

Pressing his hand against his left side, he felt his own heartbeat. Wild and uneven.

He could call Hector right then. Hear his voice, reassure himself and him everything was fine. He could break the silence, admit defeat, prove himself as pathetic and dependent as he felt.

The one who would always care more. Always invest more, offer more, accept anything, just to have them close.

The nausea rose higher. Isaiah turned the facaut on, the running water sound a little grouning. Reminded him if Seline.

The retch was almost lost in the gentle sound, as he heaved over the white granite, bite and water and pieces of meat shooting up.

He didn't fight it, retching harder. The next heave came with a loud burp, just to be more disgusting.

Black dots in his vision. The raw cuts in his chest burning as he heaved and heaved. He should slow his breathing or he would lose his balance.

His fingers curled around the edge of the sink a little harder. He couldn't remember what he was upset about. Everything was wrong and cutting and tiring. He just wanted it to stop buzzing in his head.

Just a moment of peace.

The water was still running and the light was still on. He let himself slide down to the floor carefully, closing his eyes.

The exhaustion from the vomiting with the relief of it ending settled him down.

Like he could almost sleep.

#sickfic #anxitey #spiralling #panic attack?#stress sick #vomiting #Isaiah #werewolf wip #my writing

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amaralionelli · 1 year ago

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About me

I go by Amara or Ghost. She/He/They.

Most of my stories include queer characters because, well, I am.

I'm an old person with a big kid job who's working towards getting a grown-up job (aka I work full time and go to college. Someone help me!)

I'm central timezone, but work overnights, so that's when I'll be most active. It's strange, I know.

While I'm not new to Tumblr, I am new to the writing and reading communities here.

I got into writing like most people I know my age, through roleplaying stories with friends back in the golden days of Gaia Online (my age is showing , huh?)

I am. Super dyslexic. Feel free to kindly point out any spelling or grammatical errors I make. I try my best, but nothing is ever perfect.

I love meeting, and talking to, new friends! Community is very important to me whether it's my local queer community, or my many online communities. Let's get to know each other! My inbox is always open ��

My WIPs

The Whimsical World of Tobias James Barton.

His name was Tobias James Barton, born the 31st day of October in the year of 1830. All Hallows Eve as it was. He was turning 13 this year, though he couldn't for the life of him recall a single thing from before he was 12 years of age .

A boy with terrifying strength and a mysterious past meets a man with a book and a secret. Together, they solve mysteries, fight magical beasts, and cause general chaos wherever they go.

The Prize Fighter of Iskana (link to Wattpad)

Ferris is an untouchable. Bred for war and a life of violence. A beast who was only good for their strength and obedience. It was all they knew. When they are whisked away to the desert country of Iskana as punishment for stepping out of line, they are sure it would be the end for them. The universe, however, had much different plans. It's in the palace of Iskana where they meet the rather strange demon prince that turns all that they knew about life, and love, upside down.

Pandora

War is coming to them, but the people living peacefully on the planet of Pandora can't feel it. Skye Wilder is on the cusp of adulthood. He'll be graduating high-school soon, moving into an apartment with his cousin, Karul-An, and his off and on boyfriend, Justin, while joining the engineering program at the community college just two star systems over.

Or at least he thinks he will.

Things take a turn when his estranged older brother, Vincente, shows up with some plans of his own.

#writeblr #writing #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #introduction #intro post

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lumilasi · 1 year ago

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I was supposed to work on some pride month themed pieces, instead I'm out here creating a bisexual vampire, even tho I promised myself I wouldn't make more characters anytime soon.....

(random note: I don't typically make vampire characters as I find them over-utilized in fiction somewhat, but for Cornel it just felt like the ONLY thing that truly fit...)

TBF, he has an important role in the story that fills in lot of plot points. Also I meant him to be indigo themed but he ended up purple instead. *shakes fist at porple* I did have ideas for other outfits, but I kind of ran out of motivation for now and decided to just post this already; I can always draw him in those other ones later.

Anyway, more info of Cornel below(incomplete):

Name: Cornel Sala (His full name is Cornelius, but he prefers the shorter version, because his full name just reminds him of getting constantly yelled at or belittled by his parents)

Age: Unknown, he appears to be in his mid thirties physically, but has existed for at least 100 years.

Height: 189 cm

A Natural born vampire currently hiding in the human world & working for a mob family

CURSED VS ETHER VAMPIRES

There are 2 types of these bloodsuckers in this story; the more classic, humans-infected-and-turned-into-undead-bloodsuckers, and natural born ones like Cornel. Natural-Born originate from Ether and are generally stronger and also immune to most common vampire fighting techniques, given they aren't really the same being even if they share similarities. No waving a holy cross or garlic to their face will work, though they are weak to light based magic, provided it is powerful enough. Cursed Ones come from a curse long ago, placed onto some humans that turned them into bloodthirsty monsters. Mostly they are created by fellow cursed, but sometimes a human can be turned by a Natural born, which then makes them a human-vampire hybrid instead of an undead creature. It is theorized that the Original Curse was inspired by Ether vampires still, just with their common ailments and weaknesses (Sun & silver allergy, tendency to be overtly polite, aversion to garlic dishes (either due to, again, allergy or just not enjoying the taste due to kind of a "cilantro" gene many of them have about garlic) turned up to eleven

Role: One of the antagonists for the Sterling family, often behind whatever chaos they are trying to solve.

Love interest: He has somewhat of a physical relationship with his boss Camilla, though its purely casual, neither she or him take it very seriously. There's also sexual tension between the long-lived Barone family guardian Soul eater Samar and him....

Comrades: Vincent DeVos (A plaque demon) Samar (A Seemingly ancient Soul Eater, who turns out to be the brother of the Soul Eater King/Deity) His boss Camilla Barone (Human mobster)

Rival: Alexander Sterling, due to their previous run-in and roles as sort of protectors for their respective bosses.

Powers:

Flight: He can turn into a bunch of bats to travel, or use shadows for it thanks to his occultism skills

Physical strength: He is naturally far stronger than any human could dream of being, able to rip them apart with his bare hands. (Among the Ether citizens though, his kin are considered average or below average in raw physical strength)

Blood magic: He can utilize his own blood to form weapons or shields, and ofc infect others with it, though unlike "cursed" ones his by default doesn't turn people, just poisons them.

Occultism: He can basically summon forth dead souls to inhabit objects and things to create an army to command, or even force a possession into someone. He can also bring people back from the brink of death, but the timing for that needs to be precise.

Immortality: While not a natural trait, Cornel has used an ancient rune spell onto himself that he discovered, where he basically cannot be killed for good unless one manages to undo this spell/his soul is devoured successfully by a soul eater (hard to do, due to his occultism magic he tends to "go down" very poorly). He always reforms eventually even if his body is entirely destroyed.

Charm: He has the natural vampire charm which he can utilize for feeding or getting people to generally do what he wants.

Turning: Cornel can turn others into vampires too, but it requires a special casting spell alongside the bite, AND consent. You can't forcibly turn anyone into half-blood Ether vampire.

Weaknesses:

His kin are naturally weaker against light based magic (nothing to do with holiness, just light as an elemental energy type) though how powerful this said magic needs to be depends on the individual vampire. (Example: Diojas' biological mother is a genuine dangerous threat to him, but someone like Hayden Faylune who is more present in the story, not so much)

Cornel has some of the common ailments to his kin that are also associated with the Cursed ones, though for entirely different reasons; he's not weak to sunlight, just allergic to it.

Alongside silver allergies, It is common for Ether vampires to have sunlight allergy in varying levels of severity. In his case it is a medium level case, where he'll develop rashes and nausea after thirty minutes of exposed direct sunlight, but can counter it by just covering up, and cloudy days he can be outside during daytime mostly without problems. (Worst cases absolutely can't tolerate it at all and come out only at night, and even then may have to avoid moonlight as it is reflected sunlight)

His occultism spirit tricks can naturally be countered by exorcism abilities.

Personality:

Cornel is a very calm and collected man with a somewhat clinical way of thinking, having been a doctor in the past. He has a scientist's curiosity, with somewhat lacking moral compass, though he still has some principles left; he doesn't feed from minors or pregnant women, and tends to refuse blood offers from those with mental illnesses like depression. (Now he if he doesn't know and finds out later, he tends to shrug it off though)

He is quite sadistic and enjoys toying with his targets, often terrorizing them half to death before actually killing them (he works as a personal assassin for his boss as well). That being said, if he respects you enough (like he does Camilla) he'll listen if told to knock it off.

Cornel can be quite charming and polite man to talk with, though he can also get very passive aggressive, and if he doesn't particularly care for you - but the dislike isn't strong enough for murder - his contempt will ooze out of every word, to the point his boss finds it funny.

He can hold a grudge for a long time, but is also an opportunist and a patient man, knowing when it is for the best to leave things be for now, and wait for a perfect time to strike.

BG Story

Cornel's early days are a mystery, what is known that he divulged information he shouldn't have to people in human world, and that led to him becoming a wanted fugitive, who violently dispatched his would-be-captors. (he has indicated his birth family was shit) Cornel ended up faking his death eventually to get away from the Shadowless. He ended up working with a mob family eventually in human world, the sister of the Barones family boss. (Barones were the family my MC Avane's boyfriend used to serve as well) He was eventually asked by Camilla to eliminate her brother who was going off the deep end with his obsession over his "ex boyfriend" who'd escaped his clutches two years ago, endangering the family business. He happily obliged, having never really liked the man in truth, given the curse he'd placed upon the "boyfriend" in question that Cornel had noticed. He'd never spoken out for Roman as he hadn't cared about the Grimmhound really, but had always found his essentially forced servitude rather distasteful.

Fun Facts:

His other hand is darkened and has a spiral-y pattern around his shoulder as a reference to his occultism powers & immortality rune spell.

The mob family Cornel works for was the one A Grimmhound named Roman was in, before he was rescued by his now girlfriend Ava (my mc).

DeVos initially develops an admiring crush on Cornel because he reminds Vee of his ex friend/friends-with-benefits Angus, but overtime Vee realizes that Cornel is actually really terrifying and awful, and not at all what Vee liked about Angus. (Cornel plays a role in Vee's somewhat-of-a-redemption arc before his death, by giving him this moment of enlightenment)

Cornel's boss lets him feed from her sometimes, though he doesn't really ask for it (it often leads to more intimate things too...)

Cornel and Samar don't really get along that well, but have a level of respect for each other's strength, knowing the other could seriously cause some damage to them. (Samar is also not exactly immune to his vampire charm, unfortunately...)

Cornel finds DeVos an amusing little 'child' due to his initial idolization and a level of naivety. (Cornel pretty much figures out instantly from Vee's stories why he got rejected)

Cornel and Angus are kind of parallels in general; both are doctors with feared powers that utilize blood, both had tough upbringing, and their colors are kind of complementary; Angus' main (accent) color is yellow, whereas Cornel is purple.

Cornel's style is very victorian goth inspired, though does include striking lighter colors for contrast like that light lilac coat.

#artists on tumblr #character reference #original characters #vampire #digital art #lumi's chaotic creations #lumi's art scribbles #Starknight #Cornel Sala #villain #villain oc #his bg story is still a wip #where he's at now is more relevant immediatelly #but I'll eventually figure it out #bi #bisexual

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holly-louisexox · 1 year ago

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Ribcage X Andy Biersack- Part 17

Masterlist

“There’s one thing you should know about me Delia Vincent, I don’t date. Got no heart to break and emptiness is safe, keep it that way.”

He was adamant in his choices…

…But then things changed.

"So whilst you were at university, did you just do this? Fiddle with the soundboard and stuff?" Jake asks out of curiosity; it had become his habit to hang out with Delia before sound check to try and learn things from the talented woman he was on tour with, he found it fascinating how she was so confident and could solve pretty much anything. He could never understand half of what she was doing for the most part.

"Sadly not. It was balanced as 60% running a performance and the sound tech, and 40% a written exam. In the exam, I was given different scenarios and I would have to write what I would do and why I would choose to do it and what the outcome would be of that decision." Delia explains whilst ensuring the balance of the audio and amps were correct.

"Wow, that sounds more complicated than I thought for, no wonder you're so confident with this stuff." Jake nods; a conversation itching in the back of his head but unsure whether it should be brought to the surface.

"Yeah it was a rough 5 years but I wouldn't change it for the world. I love my job and love being able to do these things. Touring and seeing different places has by far been the best experience of them all though." Delia smiles looking back at Jake.

"Well I for one would love to have you back on tour with us, I'm sure the others would agree." Jake smiles before that conversation idea pops back into his head. "I must ask Delia, and I hope this is not an upsetting ask of me, have you been eating properly this tour? It's just that, I know touring is hard, especially when it's your first one and... All I'm saying is you gave us quite a fright when you fainted the other day."

"I've been eating Jake don't worry, but I appreciate the concern." Delia dismisses it in hopes that he drops the subject and moves on to something else.

"Is everything okay Delia? People normally don't just faint for no reason." Jake continues to ask out of worry.

"If I am to tell you something Jake, please keep this between us." Delia turns to the guy she would like to hope is her friend.

"Of course, Delia." Jake nods softly willing her to continue.

"A few years ago I was working on a local production of The Phantom of The Opera." Delia sighs, the memory of the event bringing pain and difficulty breathing to her chest. "The woman playing Christine had a sister living in Seattle. The sister went missing and... 2 weeks later they found her body... In the Seattle ferry landing pier."

"Oh shit Delia." Jake gasps placing a gentle hand on her shoulder in comfort. "And that's why you?"

"Yes." Delia nods "Guess it just freaked me out a little bit. It's silly really."

"It's not silly at all, it's completely understandable actually." Jake smiles "At least Andy was there to catch you so you didn't hurt yourself."

"Yeah, at least." Delia smiles awkwardly.

"Delia, what's going on between you and Andy?" Jake asks removing his hand from her shoulder.

"What do you mean?" Delia asks feeling herself panic slightly; surely Lonny didn't spill the gossip.

"I just mean, Andy, he seems almost happy. I've known the guy for years, I know what he went through with the divorce, and I saw how he changed. But he seems conflicted with you. This guard, this fake version of himself he has created to protect himself, it seems to disappear when he's with you." Jake explains sincerely to Delia which makes her speechless. "Delia, have you slept with him?"

"Jake!" Delia gasps before regaining her composure "No, no I have not." Lies. As soon as the lie left her mouth she could think nothing more but Andy, the way his lips were delicate on her skin, the way his fingers traced her body as if she were the finest of chinas; how he managed to make her feel as if she was on top of a pedestal as he worshipped her.

"All I'm saying is please be careful Delia." Jake sighs "As much as I would love to see Andy happy again, I can't ignore the amount of women he's slept with and dumped the next day. I don't want to see you get hurt by him."

"I won't Jake." Delia smiles.

Deep down she was hoping that to be true. As much as she wanted to say she did not feel anything for Andy, she could not deny the way she was fascinated by him. She could not deny she loved the feeling of him, it was almost enchanting.

-----------------------

"Great show as always guys!" Shevy smiles and she and Delia bring the food into the backstage room for everyone.

"4 more shows left guys!" CC screams.

"Man I love touring but I cannot wait to spend Christmas with my wife and son." Jinxx smiles.

"Yeah, I'm excited to see my parents again, as much as I love seeing the different states, it's weird being so far from them. I've never been far from them apart from when I went to study in Italy." Delia explains with a sad smile.

"After a while, you learn to focus on yourself and ignore other's feelings." Andy states dryly. "The only person you can ever rely on is yourself."

"Dude, that's cold." Jake replies looking at his bandmate.

"I'm just saying." Andy shrugs "I'm glad your marriages have turned out well but that is never promised. So what's the point? It's just easier to rely on yourself." At this Andy looks towards Delia.

Andy did not want to hurt Delia, he knew that feeling all too well himself, but he was running out of options. Despite his best efforts, he was continuously drawn to Delia and he wished he was not. He promised himself he would never get close to someone again, not after Juliet. He thought Juliet was his person, the love of his life and the one he was to grow old with. Instead, things got messy, things became unhappy and both of them turned to alcohol, which was ultimately their downfall. Of course, Andy blamed himself entirely, he believed he was the problem. The voice in his head reminded him of that on the daily, reminded him of all the pain he was trying so desperately to hide.

"Look all I'm saying is..." Andy trails off before shaking his head. "It doesn't matter, forget I said anything."

"Woah, Andy, where are you going?" Shevy asks as he stands and starts to walk towards the door.

"I'm going to the bus, I'm tired." Andy lies. "Boca Raton tomorrow, as CC said, 4 more shows left. Let's make them count."

"Andy..." Delia calls after him.

"Don't, Delia." He starts. "Just don't. It was a mistake to think that we could be friends, it was a mistake to trust we could be civil and comfortable around each other. Well, guess what? I'm done with all this pretending, after this tour, I never want to see you again."

After one final glance at the sound tech girl he could not stop thinking about, he turns and walks out of the room before heading towards the busses; leaving Delia and the rest of the group staring after him.

Delia..." Shevy starts but finds no words to bring comfort to her friend.

"I'm fine." Delia fakes a smile.

No matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn't stop for your grief. The most painful goodbyes are the ones that are left unsaid and never explained. Delia knew Andy was bad for her, yet she allowed things to get this far and she didn't think she would ever understand why.

#andy biersack #andy black #andy bvb #cc bvb #jake bvb #jake pitts #jinxx bvb #lonny bvb #lonny eagleton #black veil brides #bvb #black veil brides fanfic #bvb fanfic

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idyllicb · 1 year ago

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depths of dreams - one

summary: Parker and Emily join the team after a rough start with the Unit Chief.

warnings: regular criminal minds talk, nothing too crazy

words: 2.9k

an: new fic ?? this has been in the drafts for so long that I fear it may finally be time to let her shine ! hoping for somewhat continuous updates but we shall see... this is also cross-posted on ao3 !

“What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?”

– Vincent Van Gogh

PARKER FELT HER HEART HAMMER IN HER CHEST, the box of her belongings felt heavy in her hands. She silently cursed the world for letting the Virginia traffic be so terrible. She had less than ten minutes to be in the Unit Chief’s office before she was officially late for her first day, Parker thanked herself for not wearing heels.

The young agent had been told to pursue the team opening in the BAU after her supervisor mentioned it. She loved working for the Criminal Investigative Division– but she wanted a challenge, something new. Parker has started some consultant work on the side and has been a big help in some cases that needed an extra push to be solved. Her professors called it dream analysis, she was actively studying someone’s dreams to find hidden meanings or secrets. Parker liked to think of it as her specialty and was often called in on cases with kids and young adults. She gave cognitive interviews to victims who underwent some sort of trauma and used her skills to unlock memories that were hidden just beneath the surface. Parker liked to think she made the right decision going into the FBI at the age of twenty-three but she was tired of the repetition. Solving the same violent crimes and narcotics trafficking was becoming her least favorite thing to do and she loved being a part of the bureau. When her boss told her about the job with the BAU team, she immediately jumped at the opening and applied, she got the job within days.

Parker stepped out of the very slow-moving elevator and a smile made its way to her face at the sight of the crest of the glass doors in front of her. She balanced the box between her chest and one of her hands, the other slid across the cool metal handle as she pushed the door open. She tried to slow her racing heart as all the other agents in the room turned to look at her. Parker moved with ease through the room, she had asked directions from one of the academy officers on the first floor. She gripped the box tighter at the sight of the closed office door. The brunette pushed her legs up the small set of stairs and cringed at the thought of interrupting something important. She lifted an empty hand to knock softly against the wood and heard a voice answer in return,

“Come in,” Parker twisted the knob in her hand and moved inside the room.

“I am so incredibly sorry I’m late! Parker Moore and I promise I will never be late again sir.” The young woman moved to place her box of personal items on his desk before extending her hand out to greet her new boss, he reached over his desk and accepted it with a strong grip.

“Aaron Hotchner and no worries, I was just greeting Agent Prentiss.” The Unit Chief pointed to the other person in the room that Parker barely even saw when entering his office.

“Emily Prentiss, nice to meet you!” a small laugh made its way out of the raven-haired woman and Parker shook her hand meeting her eyes with a big smile.

“Parker Moore, like you just heard, but it’s so nice to meet you.” Emily nodded and let her hand fall back to her side before glancing back to Hotchner. Parker saw a box in front of Emily and looked at her with confusion written all over her face before hearing Hotchner speak.

“Now, how can I help both of you?” A small polite smile made its way to the man's face, matching the one on Agent Prentiss’. Parker tilted her head and glanced back to Emily. She noticed that it didn’t quite meet his eyes, noticed that it felt more like a professional courtesy than anything truly personal.

“It’s my first day-” Parker started but stopped as she heard the same thing come out of the other agent's mouth. Emily now eyed Parker and she felt her throat go dry, why would two new people be starting the same day? Neither woman moved as Hotchner glanced between the two, eyes glazing with caution.

“Sorry?” His own confusion was present and the three were all left speechless as they stared at one another. Emily moved first, reaching into her own box and pulling out a piece of paper. Parker soon followed and went to grab her own transfer paper.

“I’m supposed to start today, here at the BAU,” Emily smiled and straightened her posture and Hotchner glanced at the shorter girl. Practically willing her to pull the matching transfer paper.

Parker did, producing the paper for him to see. “I am too, here’s the paperwork.” Parker let him grab the sheet from her and watched as the Unit Chief glanced at both transfer papers like they insulted him.

“There must have been a mistake, I’m sorry. I never approved of any transfers.” He looked up to see both of their reactions before looking over the official paperwork again. “There’s definitely been a mistake.”

“I don’t think so, Sir-” Emily started but was interrupted when a voice broke through the awkward tension in the room.

“Excuse me, we’re getting started.” A petite blonde woman peeked into the office and Hotchner sent a nod in her direction.

“Thank you, I’ll be right there.” The blonde left and the three were left alone again. Hotchner handed their paperwork back to the rightful owner and sighed through his nose. “I never approved of either of these transfers, I’m sorry Agent Prentiss and Agent Moore.” Both women had defeated looks on their faces and before either of them could get another word in he spoke again, “I’m sorry for the confusion, you both have been misinformed. Now if you’ll excuse me-” Hotchner moved to leave and Emily moved from her spot but Parker hadn’t budged. “It was good seeing you again Prentiss, have a great day Agents.” Before either of them could utter a response he was out the door. Parker shook off the feeling in her chest and grabbed her own box, Emily right behind her. They stood together in the doorway of Hotchner’s office and heard his conversation with an older man walking out of an office.

“Gideon, you didn’t approve of any transfers did you?” Parker’s eyes widened at the name and she felt her shoulders tense at the thought of Gideon’s career. The two men looked over towards the other two still in Hotchner’s office.

“No, I would have discussed it with you first.” Parker felt Emily deflate next to her as they started walking away.

“That’s what I thought. Anyways they both had the paperwork to join the team, who would’ve gone over us and transferred two agents?” The two continued chatting as they got farther from the two women who were straining to hear them.

“Well, that’s not a good sign.” Emily let her shoulders sag, a more relaxed posture taking over.

“That’s one way to put it,” Parker wasn’t sure what to do with this information, had she not been officially transferred? Was this some joke from her coworkers or her own boss? That didn’t explain it happening to Agent Prentiss either, there had to be something else going on.

“Well I’m not going to wait around for them to get back from a case, you want to grab a coffee? I could make a phone call and get some intel on this case to see when they get back.” Emily locked eyes with the shorter Agent, and Parker lit up the tiniest bit.

“I’d love that, my supervisor knows Agent Hotchner so I could try him to see if he can tell us what’s going on too.” Emily smiled at her and nodded for them to leave, “This isn’t going to interrupt anything, is it? I don’t wanna intrude if you have plans!” Parker rushed to get out as they made their way through the bullpen.

“These were my only plans, Moore, no worries here.” Emily hit the elevator button with her elbow and Parker saw a smile break out on the other Agent’s face.

“Please Parker is fine, anything else makes me feel old - but same here.” They both stepped into the elevator.

“Oh my God you must be at least five-no, ten years younger than me! Look at you, you are not old!” Emily started laughing when a blush broke out on Parker’s face, “Where’d you go to school Parker? I want to guess Columbia or Brown!” Parker hit the ground floor button after waiting to see if anyone would join them.

“Dartmouth,” Parker began and saw Emily smile next to her “with a bachelor in cognitive science and linguistics.” Emily laughed next to her and scoffed as they finally reached their destination.

“Do I even wanna know what your minor was?”

“International studies, but I was close to picking art history.” Parker watched as Emily threw her head back in a laugh.

“Now I’m embarrassed about my own college degree.” Parker felt a frown make an appearance as they walked out the front door to the academy.

“No! I’m sure it’s impressive, let me guess over coffee! Don’t sell yourself short Prentiss.” The taller agent sighed but still held a smile on her face,

“As long as you’re buying.” Parker nodded enthusiastically and as the two took their belongings to their cars, they continued chatting about anything and everything.

“I’m just saying there’s nothing wrong with majoring in criminology! It’s a fantastic degree program, and linguistics is great, but I may be biased.” Parker sipped her hot latte as Emily stirred some sugar into her own coffee.

“Fair I guess but still, you’re twenty-seven and have quite the academic background to you already. You said you worked in CID right? That can be some tough stuff sometimes.” Emily brought her cup to her lips and took a small sip, the steam still rising off the hot liquid. Parker let out a hum of agreement before continuing,

“Yeah, Criminal Investigative Division, nothing special to it. It’s practically the easiest job to get in the FBI. Plus I’m involved in some consultant work for dream analysis on the side.” She started reaching for her latte and Emily just stared at her with wide eyes.

“Parker, you joined the FBI barely four years ago, I’d say you’re on the right track.” Emily locked eyes with the younger girl, eyeing her carefully. For the second time Parker blushed at Emily’s words and she just nodded in response, a small smile could be seen on both Agent's faces. “Hey listen, Parker, I’m sure everything will turn out okay, alright? Give me your phone number, and I’ll let you know when I hear anything.” The brunette slid her phone from her pocket and Emily put her contact information in, Parker heard a small ding go off in her new friend’s bag. They finished up their coffees and headed home after talking for two more hours. Parker was quick to lock the door to her apartment, placing her purse on the counter. She was topping off her cat's bowl with new food when she heard her phone go off later that night.

My guy says they’ll be back in 2-3 days, I’ll let you know when I get more info.

She quickly replied, Sounds good! My boss said he got news of my transfer being approved by someone higher. Maybe the Director or someone else went over Hotchner?

Emily didn’t reply for a few minutes but it didn’t do anything to her confusion about this whole thing.

Yeah, who knows, I don’t personally know the Director so guess we’ll have to wait and see.

A second text followed barely three seconds later,

Get some sleep, try not to think about it all. I’ll let you know anything when I do.

Parker didn’t feel the need to reply but responded with a quick text about how she should do the same. Both agents could hardly sleep that night but they tried their hardest to keep the BAU out of their heads for the rest of the night.

EMILY’S GUY WAS IN FACT WRONG and the BAU hadn’t come back to Virginia for four days. They spent three of those days working on a case that was brought in, together, hoping to formulate a plan to tell the Unit Chief they were the right people for the job. The two non-official members of the unit made their way into Hotchner’s office and awaited his return.

“You don’t think he’ll find it weird that we’re just sitting and waiting for him in his office?” Parker paced the small room and Emily watched her preparing the file with newfound confidence,

“We’re all agents it’s fine. Would you please come sit down, you’re gonna stress yourself out.” Parker cracked her fingers and took a seat next to the raven-haired woman.

“I’m not stressed, I’m worried.”

“Yes, I can see that. Come here and let’s go over what we know about his unsub again for the mini profile, he should be here any minute.” Emily glanced between the office blinds and the door, her eyesight never straying too long from the folder in her lap. The heavy door was finally pushed open and Parker looked up, locking eyes with the Unit Chief.

“Please tell me you haven’t been waiting here for the last four days.” His tone was monotone and both women could see the tired look in his eyes.

“We heard you were flying in tonight,” Parker said quickly and could see Emily nodding beside her.

“Heard? Who would’ve told you that?” His guard was up and they could both tell, Emily stood up reaching over to hand the folder to him, and the younger agent watched his reaction. Hotchner looked between the pair and gripped the folder a bit tighter,

“This was dropped off today,” Emily rushed out.

“Listen, Agents, I appreciate your interest in this field, both of you. You’ve both got great credentials. But profiling is a specialty, not something you can just pick up in the span of a few days.” He walked around his desk, seeming to look between the women and the clutter.

Emily placed her hands together and spoke with confidence “The I-80 killer? Killing in Indiana,”

“Yes, I read it on the plane,” Hotchner interrupted.

“We know they’re not blitz attacks, he’s organized-” Parker started her part in the profile and saw the Unit Chief look at them differently. “He’s a white male in his early thirties, and he’s a smooth talker.” Parker glanced at Emily to finish it off.

“He’s killed eleven victims so far and yet he’s still able to convince educated women to get in his car fully knowing there’s a serial killer out there.”

“How would you advise police?” Hotchner crossed his arms waiting for them to respond.

“A stakeout out at the ranch house, or at the nightclub where a very popular ladies night happens every Thursday.” Emily walked around the small coffee table separating them and stood next to Hotchner.

“We looked closer at the victims and eight out of eleven of them were reported missing on a Friday morning. Meaning something gets this creep going on Thursday nights.” Parker finished and stepped closer to Agent Hotchner, the two women standing their ground. He looked between them not knowing if they had anything else to add to the profile, but Emily broke the silence.

“This isn’t just us going out on a whirl Agent Hotchner. We put in the work and put together a profile that fits this unsub. We don’t know what happened with the paperwork, and I know I can’t speak for Agent Moore because her parents aren’t ambassadors and maybe you think my parents pulled strings. I can tell you right now that they didn’t and we both deserve a chance, the opportunity to be a part of this unit. Let us show you how we can help the team.” Emily’s voice wavered as Parker watched in awe as her new friend stood proud and tall next to the older Agent. Hotchner took his eyes off Parker’s friend and stared at her for a few seconds before speaking,

“I will not promise anything, I still want to look into this.” He paused and Parker swallowed down her nerves,

“Understood.” The brunette spoke first but Emily agreed with a simple nod.

“However, we do brief new cases every morning at ten. Talk to facilities management about new desks.” Parker could see the smile form on Emily’s face, she was sure her face held a similar one. Both women turned to grab their belongs left on Hotchner’s couch and as Parker held the door open for her and her friend she heard her reply,

“You won’t be sorry, thank you, Agent Hotchner.” His head turned down he pushed some files around on his desk.

“Hotch is fine,” the Unit Chief started but when he saw Parker start to close the door he cleared his throat. “Agent Moore?” The younger woman pushed the door open and stood straighter,

“Yes, sir?”

“Try not to be late tomorrow.” His voice lifted the slightest and the girl knew he was joking with her but with a promise to her new boss that she wouldn’t be late, she closed the door behind her.

“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide you’re not going to stay where you are.”

— J.P. morgan

series masterlist | next chapter

#criminal minds #criminal minds au]#bau team #spencer reid #spencer reid au #criminal minds fic #dr spencer reid #emily prentiss #aaron hotchner #penelope garcia #derek morgan #david rossi #jennifer jareau #depths of dreams

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memoria-99 · 1 year ago

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Wizardess Heart: Personal thoughts about seasons and routes Part 1

S1 was very basic yet written very well.

Elias: At first I was like, what kind of jerk is this, but he turned out to be rather cute. But story is kinda boring. The first half is all about Elias yelling at MC and MC apologizing for how she messed up. Their relationship kinda lacks something. If it weren't for the mirror they'd never even get along I suppose. Another thing that annoyed me was MC being way too nosy. I mean why the heck would she accept Merculova's request 'for the academy's sake' when she even doesn't know whether she'd be accepted or not? Please MC mind your own business.

Luca: My favorite route in S1. I found him quite attractive, MC and him had fun chemistry, plot was interesting. There're two things that bother me though; first, he used MC, and second, I'm not so sure what was genuine and what was lie... Still, I quite enjoyed him and his story. I wonder why in the world Schuyler would lock the child in the cellar. Ofc the child would be traumatized. Anyway, I know Luca's not the likeable type for all people but still he's one of my favorites.

Yukiya: Overall good route. I was very curious about his 'curse' and this story was really interesting because everything was a mystery. I enjoyed it. Both MC and him were literally the saviors to ach other. I also liked the last part, MC solving the 'contract' issue with another contract. He's like a 'closed' person but his nature is kindest among S1 characters. I dunno about the chemistry though... Still, he makes a great pair with MC. Both gave a positive impact, more like both were saviors to each other. Oh and I won't forget that chubby rabbit either.

S2 was a decent season as well.

Klaus: Nice route, and I found "time travel" very interesting but I still don't like the guy. I just can't stand this Mr. Stickuphisass sadist. Though he's super popular(idk why) I don't see any chemistry between him and MC whatsoever. He has a sharp tongue and kinda looks down on her.

Randy: Think in MC's perspective: wouldn't it be wonderful if your role model truly respects you and loves you just as who you are? This relationship is good for him as well, since she accepts all of him and helps him overcome his trauma. This route had good plot twist, and he was literally an angel. The only one who sincerely respected MC's lousy magic. A real breath of healing air between two jerks in S2. This route was just so heartwarming to read.

Azusa: Should I even talk about this jerk? Fake flirt, deceived, used, and physically+emotionally abused MC. He was even ready to kill her when we chose the wrong answer. But he never properly apologized to her till the very end. He doesn't deserve the happy ending with the MC. ...Yet, I don't think this route itself isn't badly written. Seems like Solmare tried to make some awfully dark story but turned out to be too much.

S3 was, um... so so?

Joel: Kinda close to canon cuz he loved MC for a long time and shares special memories with young MC so... hmmm he and MC was a fine pair, him being honest and caring and all, but I should say that if Eress wasn't there to save the day it would've been rather boring.

Vincent: He's way too old to be with MC, and I don't understand how come he loves the MC and vice versa. All that happened were just him rescuing her all the time and he's awfully cringy somehow. And worst of all, MC was worse than useless. She literally did nothing in this route, even when her boyfriend was on the verge of the death. All she did was crying. And last but not least, the happy ending ends with him saying "it's adult time" or whatever and it bugs me a ton. Hey, what're you exactly gonna do to her. Don't tell me you...

Leon: Is it possible to fall in love in less than 2 weeks when he is in a completely blank state? Leon was literally a blank sheet of paper and his route was all about MC throwing all her business behind to stick around this boy she had just met and teach him very basic stuffs as if she's a kindergarten teacher. There's nothing really interesting about Leon himself either. I mean, his real identity was something that we all could notice before the revelation and that's all. The story and the romance were very bland too. He seemed to love MC because she taught him emotions, and... MC loved him because... because... why did she love him? Maybe because he loved her? Or because he's handsome? Who knows.

S4. When the plot actually started to go downfall.

Cerim: I don't remember anything besides MC shone better than him(she saved him) at this route. Not bad, but that's because nothing was very memorable. No chemistry at all.

Guy: This kind of route seems to be everywhere. Good boy with a huge friend-like vibe. Their chemistry was good, as friends. They are best friends.

S5. Slightly better than S4 but well...

Leslie: Kinda bland route. Leslie nicely supported MC, and she wasn't very pathetic but she was always busy self deprivating which annoyed me a lot. Chica did a good job putting her into senses.

Sigurd: The route with best "newbie" MC. She really shone a lot in this route. I can't think she's the same MC from Vincent or Leon's MC. And this Sigurd... though MC stole the scene most of the time, he wasn't so bad. Though he did deceive MC it wasn't because he wanted to use her or something. He never looked down on her and considering he was her pen pal their bond is quite strong too. Storyline was interesting too, considering nothing really happened in Leslie's route.

#wizardess heart #shall we date wizardess heart #route reviews #personal thoughts #s1 #s2 #s3 #s4 #s5

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variousqueerthings · 2 years ago

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Vincent And The Doctor! an episode that is both bad and good! but the good outweighs the bad, because Vincent is just so good!

but there is in fact an alien in this story as well, sooo...

sexism rank objectification (female character is ogled/harassed/turned into a sex joke by the doctor and/or a lead we’re supposed to root for and/or the camera): 7/10

sexism rank plot-point (lead female character is only there to serve plot, not to have her emotional interiority explored): 6/10

interesting complex or pointlessly complex (does the complexity serve the narrative or does it just serve to be confusing as a stand-in for smart, this includes visually): 6/10

furthers character and/or lore and/or plot development (broader question that ties into the previous ones, at least two of these, ideally three should be fulfilled): 6/10

companion matters (the companion doesn’t always have to be there, but if the companion is there, can they function without the doctor– and overall per season how often is the companion the focus or POV of the story): 4/10

the doctor is more than just “godlike” (examines the doctor’s flaws and limitations, doesn’t solve a plot by having it revolve entirely around the doctor’s existence): 9/10

doesn’t look down on previous doctor who (by erasing or mocking its importance, by redoing and “bettering” previous beloved plotpoints or characters, etc.): 8/10

isn’t trying to insert hamfisted sexiness (m*ffat famously talked a lot about how dw should be sexier multiple times, he sucks at writing it): 8/10

internal world has consistency (characters have backgrounds, feel rooted in a place with other people, generally feel like they have Lives): 7/10

Politics (how conservative is the story): 8/10

FULL RATING: 69/100 (if I can count….)

this episode we watch Matt Smith as a British man very seriously say "Vincent van Goffff" over and over again, but Bill Nighy did it right so that's good

and Amy screams a lot and doesn't remember the past

OBJECTIFICATION: Amy is not wearing a miniskirt! yay! she is wearing short shorts under a long jacket and scarf, so idk. not shorts-weather I guess, but at least she can run in this (although she doesn't do much running on the whole this episode)

PLOT-POINT: Soooooo I rated this one quite high, which I think is a bit generous of me, but the thing is that in this episode the reason that Amy isn't exploring what happened to her last episode is because she doesn't remember it happening!

and the Doctor is trying very hard to protect her from those feelings. but Vincent recognises them. there's a bit of "the body remembers" happening here, and so I think this is acceptable. Especially the bit where the Doctor says "Amy- Rory" out of habit and she asks "who?"

I also like that she's excited to see more Van Gogh paintings and is someone who fails to consider how mental health can have good days and bad days. Prompting this quote of all time:

"the good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant. and we definitely added to his pile of good things."

COMPLEXITY: the plot is kind of two things, one of which is obviously stronger (Vincent) than the other (the Krafayis). they never quite come together, or specifically the latter is underdeveloped. I guess it has that speech at the end where Vincent is saying that it lashed out because it was afraid, like people do (the people who are terrible to him for being different), but I'm not sure that's what it should be about. especially when they discover that the Krafayis is blind, which happens right before it's killed. the Krafayis is disabled, like Vincent is

it's kind of a messed up story. right before it dies it goes "I am afraid." They just killed this being, which was abandoned for being disabled. that is the failing side of the episode

However simply as a story about Vincent van Gogh it's pretty lovely, and what it's remembered for. I don't agree with the bit where he talks about being left utterly alone and that framing, because historically he had people who cared for him, and he wasn't anti-doctors either, but I understand why it works for some of what's being said -- Amy and the Doctor are there, and Vincent is still suffering from serious mental health issues and feels alone in that

So in that sense the complexity works -- complexity of emotion

CHARACTERS/LORE/PLOT: the underlying thing here is how Vincent recognises Amy's pain as someone who is also in pain, and Amy of course has no idea what he's on about

overall though it's meant to be -- and works as -- a standalone and doesn't need to be more than that. also as a character Thing, the Doctor's hyperactivity and of it all is a fun detail

COMPANIONS MATTER: Amy doesn't do much outside of her chat with Vincent, which isn't bad. She's ostensibly the emotional anchor to the Doctor's doing stuff. however, am noticing that this scores consistently a bit lower on most episodes and whether I should be getting harsher about it, because at this point Amy is apparently super With It, she knows time travel, she's confident, etc. So why is she still mostly just hanging around?

I do wish she had more... opinions on things. they lie there and see the night sky and she says nothing. the script struggles to make her anchoring Vincent have much to do with herself, or to tie it into the plot. Why is she not the person who suggests taking Vincent to the present, for example?

“GODLIKE” DOCTOR: the Doctor is there to admire Vincent van Gogh, as is right and good!

I do think it's bold that the Doctor is so bad at relating to Vincent's issues though, considering the Doctor is the posterboy for mental health issues

I kind of wish the Doctor had been more able in this episode, specifically with the Krafayis. he's so helpless until the end and then it dies, it seems kind of odd for him

PREVIOUS DOCTOR WHO: Hartnell and Troughton visuals! Nothing special in it, but again, it's a standalone

"SEXINESS": we almost don't have this, and it's frankly because the actor for Van Gogh is so good that he doesn't make it seem creepy that Vincent is just hitting on her from moment one. there's also some quite dorky flirting (Richard Curtis style) which is much more charming

INTERNAL WORLD: I guess this is fine. Again, some of the characterisation of what was happening around Van Gogh is shifted to suit the episode, and I don't think it needed to be, but it's suitable for purpose. also the casting is so good!

POLITICS: so the bad is as mentioned above, the alien portrayal, when we discover it's abandoned and disabled

On the flipside the things about Vincent's mental health, and how that's presented on the whole, famously, is considered pretty good

it's not about "fixing" him, or about mental illness as necessary for the sake of good art, or about covering up the fact that he committed suicide, it's simply presenting him as a man

and of course the famous scene at the end -- what if someone who wasn't convinced that they were any good or much worth in their lifetime got to experience how they were remembered? not everything is about legacy of course, but in this case it works precisely because it doesn't work as a "fixer," but it does provide some solace

so in the end it's really about moments of solace

FULL RATING: 69/100 (if I can count….)

I actually thought this story would rate higher, but where it lets us down is in everything around the admittedly wonderful portrayal of Vincent van Gogh. Especially, again... Amy doesn't do that much. And the quite unfortunate implications in the way the alien of the week is portrayed

on the flipside it's a wonderful little exploration of mental illness and a portrait of a wonderful painter!

#im watching nu!who #im watching eleven who #the measurement #vincent and the doctor

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countrymusiclover · 2 years ago

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107 - To Getting Elijah Back

Part 108

Gemini Runaway

@icefrye19 @secretdreamlandmentality

Shooting upright I gasped frantically looking around and seeing that we were back in our house or at least I thought so. Getting to my feet I called our daughters names. “Hope…Alina…Missy…Henrik!”

“Rae, what the hell is going on?” Turning my head I saw my twin brother running towards me.

Hayley was not long behind him where she sent me a confused look. “I can’t find Andrea anywhere. What is this place?”

“Raelyn. Jacob, Hayley. What the hell are we doing here?” I recognized my husband’s voice seeing him come over to us. He takes my hands in his searching my face. “Did you make this place, love?”

We all turned our heads seeing Elijah or whoever he claimed to be at this moment. “This is dangerous, you and I here together….Antoinette is dying from a werewolf bite.”

“We're not actually here together, are we? Not physically, at least….amd she deserves to die after what she did to my children.” My husband snapped at him with a smirk.

Lifting my head I raised a brow at him nudging his arm. “Nik, did you bite her last night?”

“Alina was right behind me until I found where she was living and I took my chance. I didn’t see any problem with slowly killing the person who took away Missy and Alina’s happiness.” He shrugs his shoulders at me not phased by what he had done.

Jacob took a hold of Hayley’s hand interrupting our conversation. “Sorry to stop murder fairness storytelling but can someone tell us where we are exactly?”

“It's called a Chambre de Chasse It's a magical mental prison designed to resemble our home. But don't worry. There's always a way out... A game or a riddle.” Klaus threw his hands away from his sides explaining to our group.

The man who looked like Elijah asked. “How do we solve this riddle?”

“We don't do anything. We're square, you and I.

You got my youngest daughter killed and then my second daughter triggered her werewolf curse, so Antoinette will die because of me.” The hybrid glared at his brother holding my hand while he threatened him, leading our group away and leaving Elijah there. “I would hate to upset that delicate balance. So I'm gonna find my way out, and you're on your own. Come on Rae, Jacob, Hayley.”

The four of us entered one of the rooms with some old Mikaelson paintings on the walls before we saw Rebekah and Kol were here too. “Suppose I'll ask the obvious: piss off any witches lately?” Kol asked, mocking.

Nik scolded him. “Actually, my current enemies are a group of hatemongers who see myself, my wife, my daughters and son as abominations to the vampire race.”

“The bigoted undead.” Rebekah spoke.

Kol suggested this was Elijah’s new girlfriend. “That's new. They must have a witch-for-hire. A witch that's spent enough time here to replicate every detail. This is Elijah's prized Cheval Blanc.”

Until we heard someone coming down the stairs and saw Freya was here too. “The culprit may be closer to home. A witch who knows the compound well and who doesn't trust you to stay away from Elijah. Someone who would risk everything to save New Orleans from plagues.”

Nik and I grumbled before Elijah showed us a door. “Vincent.”

The door was white and it had eight keys “It's representational magic. I expect there are keys, one for each of us, hidden somewhere meaningful. Somewhere connected to who we are.” Kol dropped one of the locks turning to our group.

Elijah said uneasy. “And for those of us who don't remember who we are?”

Klaus growled at him. “I'll give Antoinette your regards.”

“Door won't open unless all eight locks are released.” Freya glanced between everyone. “The only way out is together.”

Kol stepped forward giving a word of warning before we all went in search. “Elijah, if we're to get through this without bloodshed, I recommend that you go to the corner of the house furthest from Nik.”

Following my brother’s trail I paused standing in front of the Mikaelson’s crest on the garden wall. “How are we supposed to find keys that represent us here?”

“I think I might have an idea already. Do you remember the night that we first came to New Orleans and Klaus said that we officially became Mikaelson’s.” I pointed towards the crest smiling at the memory from sixteen years ago.

“Nik, where are we going? Don’t let me trip over my own feet please.” I chuckled while he walked behind me covering my eyes with one hand and his other was on my hip so that if I did fall he could catch me.

My brother had his eyes covered too where he followed us inside too. “Don’t hurt me for asking this but are you leading us into a trap?”

He whispered in my ear finally having us stop. “Don’t worry, Rae. And as for your brother's worries. You will both be fine now, open your eyes.”

He removes his hand from my eyes so that when I blinked through the light my eyes focused on a M crest on a wall of green plants behind it. “Nik, this is your former home. I…I don’t understand why are we here?” Turning to face him he was smiling at me.

“Because my heirs belong here. This was my home a thousand years ago.” He walked up to me resting a hand on my cheek where I leaned into his palm. “You and your brother are now a part of this family. You will always have a home here. This is your life, Raelyn.”

Jacob smiled in our direction staring up at the M. “I’ve never said this before, Klaus. But you are a good man for my sister. We weren’t accepted by our own family but you…”

“You gave me a love I never knew I could have. You are giving my daughters a place to know that they will always be loved.” Draping my arms over his shoulders I smiled at the hybrid kissing him softly.

He wrapped his arms around my waist nuzzling his nose against mine before he connected our lips together. “The night my father called us each abomination it broke my heart to see you believe him. From that day forward I swore that you and our daughters would never feel that pain anymore. You and your brother are always equals here.”

“I was born to be a Mikaelson. You can just say it, Nik.” I teased him leaning up, kissing him slowly.

He cupped my face in his hands kissing me back. “You have the heart of a Mikaelson.”

Raising my hand I used a bursting spell on the M crest on the wall. “Dissulta…ha I knew it. Two separate key’s with our initials on them.” Holding up two golden keys smiling.

“So I guess he considered me a Mikaelson before I thought he did.” Jacob smiled before we saw my husband and Freya stomping towards the locked door. Freya disappeared and so did one of the locks.

Klaus stomped up to me, seeing the key in my hand. “So you found your key then. Freya helped our daughters create this room while they took the Hollow magic out of us.”

“So why are we here if they’re already taken the power?” Jacob asked, confused.

My husband shrugs his shoulders in a huff. “I have no idea. I just need to find my key and get us the bloody hell out of here.”

“J, go help Hayley. I’ll help him.” Grabbing my husband’s hand I dragged him upstairs into our bedroom finally dropping his hand standing in the center of the room. “So Jacob and I had our keys in the M crest. Where in here would represent you and our kids?”

“I don’t know and this is ridiculous. Why would our daughters do this scheme? Especially when it endangers their lives!” He raised his voice, running his hands down his face in a huff.

Holding my hands up I stepped towards him putting my hands on his shoulders. “Look we can figure this all out and ground them later but we have to get out of here first ... .I can’t believe you kept this and framed it.”

Walking around him I picked up a drawing that I had done after the night he showed me his wolf form for the first time. “You said that you were never much of an artist. But I didn’t see it that way. You have always seen the light in me when I didn’t in myself.” He came behind me wrapping his arms around my waist resting his chin on my shoulder.

Laying on the bed in my room of the compound I attempted to move my pencil across the paper trying to concentrate and not mess up on it. I was focusing on the ears before someone knocked on the door making me lift my head up. “Here you are. I thought you were hiding from me on purpose.”

“Oh hey. No I’m not hiding from you, Nikky. I just needed a place to chill for a little bit.” I smiled sitting up on the bed tucking hair behind my ear looking at him.

Klaus slowly walked over making the bed dip down at his weight when he sat down. “What’s this you’re working on, Rae?”

“Oh uh nothing.” I blurted out trying to hide them half drawing from his view.

He snags my wrists seeing what I was trying to do. “What are you hiding from me, love? Come on, let me see it.” He took it from my hands holding up the drawing seeing that I was drawing his werewolf head yet I hadn’t drawn the shape of his eyes yet.

“Oh god it’s bad isn’t it. See I told you I am not good at this. Like I messed up on the ears like twice and I am not good with drawing your eyes which is really important cause they’re beautiful and…I’m rambling on too much aren’t I?” I covered my face with my hands falling back on the bed feeling embarrassed that I was so worried he wouldn’t like it.

Nik brushed hair out of my eyes crawling over to me and hovering there with his hands on either side of me. “Stop being embarrassed, Raelyn. Now look here we can finish this together you and I.”

“I just want it to be good enough. I’m not as good of an artist as you are.” I put my face in my hands when he pulls me up to sit up with him.

Nik tucked hair behind my ear then he turned my chin with his thumb and index finger so I’d look him in the eye. “You may not be able to draw like I can. Yet you are an artist in your mind, my siphon queen. For you can see the good in me that I thought was gone when I became a vampire.”

“There’s good in everyone, Klaus. But can you please help with this otherwise it will look weird.” I smiled, kissing his cheek before we laid on our stomachs and he intertwined his hand over mine moving the pencil perfectly to finish his eyes on the drawing.

Klaus turned the frame over in his hands once we separated from one another where we saw something sticking into the back of the picture frame. “The key to the man I became after the girls were born.” He tore a hole in the corner pulling out a key.

“Now let’s hope the others found their keys.” I intertwined his freehand with mine before we vamped downstairs seeing the others. Everyone put their keys and unlocked the white door only for us to enter a white hallway with a red door at the end.

“What the hell is this place. I thought we finished the maze.” Jacob questioned raising a brow at me.

Kol grumbled. “Oh, bloody hell. Now we're in Elijah's mental maze. Of all the hells I've had to endure…”

Elijah mumbles staring at the red door. “The door. What is this, Hope's revenge? Imprison me till I reclaim all of my memories, forcing me to accept accountability for all of this?”

Kol grabbed his door handle that had a K on it, opening it and leaving to the real world. “Well, as much as I love a cherry on top of a scheme......I have somewhere else to be.”

Klaus and I glanced at one another where I touched the door knob seeing a R on it right next to an N for Nik “Nik, we can't just leave him here.”

“He can find his own way out.” He raised his voice towards Rebekah’s words.

She fought back looking at me. “We made a vow….Raelyn please.”

“Bex, I once made him see himself hurting his nieces when we faced Dahlia. I wanted him to hurt so much for trying to take our daughters away from us without telling either one of us. I’m sorry but he has to face reality on his own and open the damn door!” I turned my head in Elijah’s direction hearing him just slamming into it with his body like an idiot.

Klaus agreed with me turning his head towards Elijah when he raised his index finger pointing at him. “I made a vow to my brother. That's just the man who made Missy become a heretic and then forced Alina to trigger her werewolf curse when we didn’t want her too yet!”

“I thought the same thing about you once. Do you remember our mother?” Rebekah walked over to my husband trying to reason with him. “Before all of the turmoil? Because I do. I remember when she would put flowers in my braid, and I remember when she would sing to us in the morning. And then you killed her.”

Nik shook his head confused. “Why are you bringing this up now?”

She declared to him. “Because we are capable of doing terrible things, but we are also capable of forgiveness.”

Nik rolled his eyes hearing Elijah still slamming his body into the door but he didn’t just turn the knob. “It's just a door, Elijah! Open it!”

“Do I need to hit him in the head to remember how to open a door!” I grumble wrapping my fingers around the doorknob.

Rebekah went back to her door about to leave with the both of us looking at Nik. “Go on, Rebekah, Raelyn. We'll be right behind you, both of us.” My husband said softly before we left the room.

Shooting upright I gasped seeing that Nik and Elijah were laying inside a drawn symbol on the floor. Getting to my feet slowly I saw that Hayley and Jacob had left too and we're back. “Nik….is he?” Nik gasped, lifting himself up before Elijah opened his eyes.

“Raelyn….I’m…I’m so…sorry.” Elijah sat up slowly before he just started sobbing and he didn’t stop remembering everything that he forgot and he saw what happened with the girls. Meaning that he was back to his old self.

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banditblvd · 4 months ago

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hi :3 hello :3 i just watched episode 13 :3

what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck thewhatgtfuckdahdighdkahsbadghaagdhah

(I am desperately trying to keep my blog at least 80% life series so you Will be receiving all of my deranged PD doodles)

anyways you can’t do cuts in asks so you’re about to get a Wall of text :]

party city ghost was like. two episodes ago. they are busting out the fucking outer wilds music. what the hell (positive). also, william is increasingly fitting into my favorite character trope, “guy who Would be extremely overpowered if he was Literally anyone else”. honestly PD is scratching the same itch as the batshit insane vigilante fics I used to read back in the day. 60% crack, 40% soul-rending angst, and at least one character with an Unnerving amount of connection to life and death.

i think mal should explode forever. cowboy vincent/vincent with a gun is unendingly funny to me because he is constantly polarized between being the most badass character and also the absolute stupidest. like yes he has two guns called “order” and “justice” and when he puts them together they turn into one big gun that shoots a massive ram. but also he is competitively accruing lung damage and he is convinced he can solve every issue by shooting it. incredible. dakota will probably be underrepresented in my art because i can’t draw hair around bandanas for shit. but. i love him too he is a magnificent doofus.

ashe being around balances their dynamic so well. frankly i think he could have stopped the party city incident (or the fartbo incident… or the knife incident… or the sewer ravioli incident…) if he had been there. no regrets, those were all incredible catastrophes, but I think introducing him as things started getting a bit more serious was a good choice. I doodled this on a car drive and forgot to grab a reference for him, so unfortunately I have yet to draw him.

can’t wait to see what happens next in the William Vape Arc :]

SOBS INTO THE PALMS OF MY HANDS

YOUR DESIGNS ARESOCUTR IM GONNACRY

His lame ass would for sure say jeepers

FUCK MALLARD CONWAY!!,! IM GONNA EXPLODE HIM WITH MY MIND AND KILL HIM

ILL GLADLY RECIEVE YOUR PD RAMBLINGS WITH OPEN ARMS BRO I LIVE FOR THIS SHIT

WILLIAM IS PEAK CHARACTER DESIGN BRO HES PERFECT AND SO FUCKED UP AND I HATE HIM

VYNCENT WITH A GUN IS ONE OF MY FAVORITES EVER HES AWESOME

DUDE YOUR DAKOTA LOOKS SICK BUT YEAH BANDANA HAIR IS KINDA HARD TO DRAW! I LOVE HIM DEARLY HE IS THE PRIME DEFENDER

AND ASHE BALANCES THEM OUT PERFECTLY (especially in ep 18 just wait till you get there)I LOVE MASHE MINTERS

TALKING ABOUT PD IS SO FUN!!! PLEASE CONTINUE!!!!

#bandit’s words #bandit’s visiting hours #jrwi prime defenders #now to yammer about the art bro good golly #ISWILL THINKING ABOUT HIM AND VYNCENT AS WOLVES.THATS SO GAY AND BOYLIKER OF HIM #AND THE FUCKING GHOSTBUSTERS PIN ON THE BAG??#DUDE WHEN I HEARD MALLARDS NAME THAT WAS THE FIRST THING I THOUGH OF #ALSO YOUR ASS CANT JUST INCLUDE THAT DEVASTATING DOODLE OF DAKOTA AT THE TOP??HELLO?#blueberry muffin :-j #that face was a typo but that’s actually so cute so I’ll be using it more #:j #ALSOMIS THAT MY FUCKING WCPD WILLARD DESIGN #LAUNCHES MYSELF AT YOU LIKE A SQUIRREL #dude my discord status is literally ‘inside you are two guns. both are greased loaded and fucking’#it’s such a good quote and I love it

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kakahut · 6 months ago

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Before 2025...2024, A year of clearance?

When I was driving my scooter after my third shift at Lululemon XTD store as an Educator AKA sales girl at 11:45pm, passing by downtown fuilled with young ppl waiting for countdown, I was happy this year was over.

Shanghai seems to be back into that glorious city I once remembered. On the last night of 2024, the store doubled the daily sales, ppl love the new year collection and we sold out all inventory in just couple hours.

Are ppl hopeful about the future? At least for the wealthy ones there is nothing to worry about.

As for me, I am entering the “oh shit , I am turning 40” club. SUPRISINGLY!!!! I could never be happier. No one told me I could feel so much freedom when I get old. Everyone was like, oh, if you are not married and old, you are a fucking failure. That’s the biggest lie in the entire world! 🌎

Ppl were like, if you don’t have a job job, you are a fucking failure! That’s the second biggest fucking lie in the world!🌎

In 2024, I didn’t go back to a corporate job, I started my own company, (not super sure what am I going to do with it yet), I helped Dan made 6 times of revenue growth on his shopify store, and I started a video podcast with Iva, my old time classmate from Upenn who is already a quite successful business woman ( thanks to that wedding in Spain of another Penn friend so we had a chance to reconnect) , and and and my first art exhibition is gonna come in January, finally, now also I am selling pants @ lululemon ( never owned any their shit but why not selling bunch to others?).

Wow, I did so much things! Is that the reward the universe has given me when I choose to finally say fuck off to social norms?

Yet, it was not an easy journey. Last summer ( 2024), I was so depressed and hopeless, crying on the same scooter on my way back to my place, that I had to stop somewhere to call Vincent to calm myself down. I didn’t know I never loved myself. I have told many ppl in my life that I loved them and acted on it, but I never really loved me. I hate Carol, I told Vincent if I were an avatar in the game, I would have changed to another one long time ago. Why can’t I just be someone else but Carol?

I was startled by what I said about myself. That was the most brutal truth I have hidden inside for over 35 years. Many choices I have made in my life all make sense now!

I was so cruel to myself. I chose wrong jobs to prove I can do something I suck at, I chose the wrong men to love to prove I can overcome some bullshit I should not even take in the first place just to gain their unbeatable loyalty and love?

I gave myself so much hard time for what? To prove I am a loser so I can hate myself for granted?

I was overwhelmed for a second. I know I finally found the real problem.

So I decided to love myself. It’s not just some inspiring words ppl say on thier new year resolution list, it is the only solution I have at the moment except killing myself to solve the issue. I am going to explore how to love myself the way I explored how to gain love from Min, from Tommy, or from all the rest of “the men I once loved “ in my art collection.

I need to love myself so I can have the power to change. I need to love myself so I can be complete. I need love, a lot of love and the first person who should give it to me is ME.

My perception suddenly changed just in one second. I finally had the confidence that I will definitely be ok.

Couple months later, I reconnected with Iva. We started to bound, and we started the podcast production. When filming our first episode, she asked me, if you went back in time, what would you have changed in Philly? I probably said I would date more guys. What I really want to say is I should have loved myself more and chosen more wisely of who I should have been involved with . I should have given myself more options when I was young. I should have focused more on what I want to become and I should have been more "selfish".

However, I don't regret anything I have done in my life. I never let the word "regret" to define me and "regret" is a word for weak people. My life in Philly was still the best time in my life. I missed all the connection I made there and I was glad I had a chance to reconnect with some of them last time I was in Europe.

That's another advantage of being old, you have so much good memories you can look back into.

I stopped writing to Min because I can't find any reasons to do that anymore. It has been 10 years and now I finally find the question and he will never be the one who gives me the answer. It's time to stop paying attention to this connection.

I will always miss him the way I miss all things happened in Philly but it was dumb to stand there alone moaning for something have been lost long time ago. I deserve more than that and that is not enough.

I don't love you anymore, Min. I decided to give this quota to myself. Please don't take it personal. :)

So that's a sign : I prefer looking within than seeking for external valiadation:

I honestly don't give any fuck about any man’s opinion on how I should live or express myself as a woman.

---( I don't even want to fuck any of them, I fuck myself. lol )

Yup, it took me 10 years to actually feel that way and I am not ashamed of it.

What is my goal in 2025?

To make more money so I will never ever ever go back to a cooperate job ever fucking again. I was so bad at making money because I never had money problem and I never cared that much about it. Now I just want more money so I can have the real freedom I crave. Dan seems to be a good business partner and hopefully our collab can be as good as 2024. I really appreciate this relationship.

To make a great podcast or we say to become an influencer. I believe the work and connection Iva and I are going to build will be a meaningful one. We will make a lot good episodes and we will make a lot good connection and it will become something meaningful in long run.

To be a good daughter. Me and my mum have never had such a balanced relationship. I want spend more time with her as I don't really know how long she will be there. Life is too short to hate someone who loved you so much and I am glad we find a balance in our relationship. It is much more healthy than it used to be.

To be a good cat owner. Sorry, still don't like children, I am a cat lady who lives alone.

To maintain the happy state by accepting I can't always be happy. I don't know what I am doing and I don't care if I know or not because life is unknown. Fear of unknown and try to control it is dumb. The only way to " control" future is to fully live NOW.

To keep loving myself. That's the most fundemental thing and that's the basis of everything. I am lovable, I am enough and I am amazing.

To enjoy being alone.

2025 is the new beginning, and it will also be "nothing new" ( yup, quote Taylor again)

youtube

I am so glad I am older and also wiser.

#Youtube

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mayhemlovesenvy · 7 months ago

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Curious since you ship both of them: which pair do you prefer, Owed or Oweddy?

This turned ranty, more under the cut LOL

Owed!

Ofc the vision in my head, I don't have anything else to enjoy from them since no one else makes content lol, but that just means I did whatever I want with them and thus they're like . Totally what I love in ships. They can be doomed they can be toxic they can be silly! They are in love! Obsessed with each other! Their souls intertwined! Babies

Ofc I do like Oweddy, but recently (as in months and months) I've been feeling let down by it. The blorbos in my mind are great and I love them! But I quickly noticed that my headcannons for them were *too* different from the most popular, bigger, more social Oweddy shippers. And in trying to befriend them I tried to conform to their ideas and hcs and it just made me have a bad time, until I realized there was simply no way I could have both cakes and eat them

I'm sure part of it was problems external to just ships (but how come I feel alienated in a group of alienated ppl? Huh??). But being made fun of for liking Owed in a OWEDDY server (close to my birthday which was very shitty) made me realize "why do I want to be liked by these people who I don't even like?"

I just wanted to have some Owed crumbs for my brithday?? Just, yk, a sketch?? A happy birthday message at least??? What the fuck 💔

Also fuck yoi to the people who say "i don't like the ship but _" just say the nice thing you'll say or skip 😭😭😭 it's like the "your oc looks like X" . Judt say the nice thing djksmskslalfmclmv

Apparently I still feel hurt by it, 'cause I wanna cry rn HELP

But yes, in general, the people who I felt offended by the most were Oweddy shippers, who soured the ship for me a lot. So yeah I like them! Fuck everyone else who draws them, tho

So every now and then I have this dislike for them- when I remember all that. But i DO love them, and I won't let a bunch of weird people ruin my fun, it's just a game of patience. I learnt my lesson of creating what I want to see pretty early in my life, I just have to remember it (that's why I'm insane about Vincent too ha). But I'm also insane, and what I want to create needs a lot of time in the oven

I'm being too much of a complainer rn but that's bc this is something I can't let out of my chest freely(?)

But yeah too much, I'm sorry ahhahahah

But I will have both cakes, fuck the people 🫵

My "I feel *too* weird even around weird people" Is my vision for the Owed anyways, they're just a bit *too* fucked up, and somehow get incredibly bullied by it, but they have eachother to be their selves with <3 and then they get worse , and then they realize they were the only ones who understoof each other, and then they find themselves together again, and now they're a little less stupid, and can kiss and solve problems w/o one of them being stabbed!

#sorry anon you got me at my past 10pm mood hope you like the several paragraphs long answer!#still thank you for the question!! I love talking about my blorbos #my sweet beautiful babies #owed #oweddy #anon #ask #text

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eidolonightmare · 8 months ago

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thats so silly because my name is vincent!! who knows maybe im your cat in disguise.....

OOOO NICE QUESTIONS!! okay

1 — this one is hard simply because im unsure if theres any extra rules,,, i would love to solve a world issue, but that doesnt seem like a realistic answer. im also a bit indecisive, honestly.. BUT. i think i might like to be well known for my kindness or art, as my accomplishment. because if i do something like reach other people's hearts, maybe i can inspire a larger change and motivate them too. maybe id like to start a movement in fact, advocate for animals and minorities and keeping the world healthy. i have a lot of opinions that do me no good if i dont act on them. or if i end up being an author or famous for my drawings / other art, i can use my platform like that from there

2 — my favorite color varies! i love all colors, but i think my favorite palettes would be dark colors and pastels. (indecisive..) my favorite animal might be cats, however i have a deep adoration towards most animals out there, if not all. my favorite song.. hmm.. that changes, sometimes daily! but right now id say either vampire empire by big thief or angel by massive attack. my favorite thing.. i could never choose! theres so much to love, like time with friends or the rain or music or love itself. maybe ill go with that last one.. (silly since im on yanblr, huh?)

3 — my hobbies would include all forms of art, reading, dancing occasionally, consuming a lot of media.. and my interests would be,,, specific bands, some shows (iwtv, alnst if that counts, tlou, etc), some book series (so many actually), writing, and again all other art forms! i also like to analyze lyrics and make lists!!

4 — i dislike being alone, being rejected or abandoned, and cruel people. i also dislike criticism and being interrupted or ignored

5 — this has always been a hard one for me.. once upon a time i would say talking to animals, and while id still love that,, i might like teleportation better. simply because most of my loved ones are so far away, and i miss them dearly

OH ALSO would you like me to choose a sign off?

i'm sorry, this literally took me over a day to respond... I'M SO SLOW! i apologizeeee T_T

omg, i knew it... you're secretly my cat.

1 — oh i wasn't thinking of any extra rules, it was mostly just a question to see what you view as most important i guess hehe. that's a good answer ^_^ it's cool that you also do art and write! i do that, too, so that's cool to me, something we have in common. i think my ideas for responding to this question are pretty similar to yours :3c "i have a lot of opinions that do me no good if i dont act on them" like what?

2 — fair! all good choices. i'm glad you like animals; i see that as a good trait to have. i love animals too ^_^ i'll have to listen to those songs! that's understandable ehe it's quite a big question to ask your favorite thing. that's sweet :3

3 — awesome! i need to read more ahaha... cool :3 could you name any of the bands and book series? i am curious. what do you like to write? i like similar things to you, so that's awesome.

4 — me as well for all of those things...

5 — that makes sense! if i chose teleportation, i would chose it for stupider reasons than that LOL. personally, i'd choose shapeshifting, because 1. i hate my appearance and 2. i could turn into a monster to protect myself or a little tiny thing to hide as needed. and i love cheetahs, so i'd want to be a cheetah, just for fun. i'd also love to talk to animals, though. i do wonder if shapeshifting into one would allow me to talk to whatever kind of animal i'd be? i hope so.

that would make it easier for me to check your previous asks in the future, so yes ^_^ and sign-offs are fun, at least to me... so yes, unless you don't want to. i can always give you a nickname.

#the angel answers

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stellisketches · 4 years ago

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Stelli goes on a fucking theory rant

(fair warning, this gets kinda dark)

Ok so I was rewatching the diaries finale you see, and oh my fucking god

This line

How the fuck have I never realized this line.

This line literally shifts the whole perspective on how I saw Laurance late season 2 onwards.

Cause we all pretty much agreed that the whole Laurance dipping for a Aphmau being pregnant was, in laymans’s terms, a dick move. His SK emotions may have been a large influence in it, but still we thought his reaction was selfish and vindictive to say the least.

But this line changes that.

Laurance isn’t answering the calling out of some rejection- fueled self-destructive temper tantrum. At least, not entirely. Truth is, we don’t know exactly how bad the calling is or what it really does. In s2 ep 84 and 96, All Vylad really told us was that the calling toys with/worsens your emotions, eats at your insides, and tries to make you open a nether portal. Which is awful, but this is fantasy and worse things have happened.

But what if it was worse than Vylad described.

One thing we have to note in the difference between Vylad and Laurance’s shadowknighthood is that Vylad was fully killed before he became a shadowknight, while Laurance is widely accepted to have not actually died in the process. Early in season 2 he says “there are other, more painful ways” to become a shadowknight when Aphmau asks him if he died in the nether. So we can basically assume that this is what probably happened to him.

I have a theory that Shadow Knights who are born through the “not actually dying” method hold on to much more emotion than those who actually die. Vylad actually died, and he likely experienced some vastly different than what Laurance goes through. As much as I love him, we don’t actually know how much of a reliable source he is in cases like Laurance.

We both see and have Vylad confirm, however, that Laurance goes through more moodswings than a pregnant bipolar gorilla and is a large oddity compared to other shadowknights. I think that the calling has a much worse effect on shadowknights who didn’t actually die than those who did, as holding onto emotions through that transformation probably royally fucked with their heads.

Also, It may make them revert to their “kill someone you love” urge they got when they first become shadowknights.

Vylad also say that Laurance “has a dream he wants desperately to turn into reality” that, quite obviously, being with Aphmau and having his romantic feelings fufilled. He’s been holding onto that thought of Aphmau, letting it consume him through out his Calling without even realizing it. He’s been building so much on it, and he believes that it’s keeping him sane, when in reality its the opposite.

Also I think its safe to assume Laurance it very at war with himself, mostly his SK side against his normal human side. His normal side is trying to convince his SK side to calm down, that He doesn’t have to listen to the calling and he can stay with Aphmau and the people he cares about, while the SK side is twisting his words and thinking he has to be romantically involved with Aphmau in order to solve his problems.

His SK side has slowly been taking over, and then the shit finally goes down in s2 ep 95, where Laurance goes full toxic ‘nice-guy’ and pressures Aphmau into revealing her relationship with Aaron, then dealing some heavy verbal hits on Garroth for pretty much no reason whatsoever just because he won’t agree with him.

I think that’s the moment where he truly goes beyond the point of seemingly no return in terms of how much the Calling has taken hold of him (though he doesn’t know it yet).

I think after his talk with Vincent, he finally forces himself to bundle up all of his SK/Calling emotions as best he can, and return to society. I’d say he was actually going back to Aphmau’s to apologize, but then he heard the news about Aphmau being pregnant.

As terrible as it is to say, hearing that statement made his SK side want to genuinely, actually, straight-up kill her.

His Calling emotions had been building on his dream of being with her romantically, with that being the only thing from stopping Laurance from (maybe) killing her and returning to the nether. He hearing that her being pregnant with another man’s child made that fantasy come toppling down faster than a house of cards, and there was nothing else that convince The Calling from doing what it was meant to.

Despite that, I think his SK emotions were so confused that the last thing normal Laurance was able to tell himself was to just go straight to the nether with no time or energy spent anywhere else. That way, at least Aphmau would be safe from himself.

Laurance tells Sasha “I have to answer the Calling.” He doesn’t say “I’m going to answer the Calling” or “I must answer the the Calling.” Answering the Calling is something he’s been dreading, obviously. He’s not even doing this with any sort of “Noble facing-your fears” attitude, he’s doing it because he’s a tired man who’s run out of options. Sasha asks him, “Has it gotten that bad?” to which he doesn’t answer.

“I see, so she’d be dead if you saw her again.” She says.

The only part of the old Laurance left is the one who doesn’t want the people he loves to get hurt. He recognizes that the Calling would inevitably cause him to hurt the person he loves most, and if he faces her again without answering the Calling, his emotions will take hold and he will do something unforgivable.

Laurance didn’t leave out of pettiness, or jealousy

He left as his final act of protection.

#Minecraft Diaries #mcd garroth #MCD #mcd laurance #mcd vylad #mcd aphmau #aphmau laurance #aphmau garroth #shadow knights #shadow knight #Aphmau Fandom #also i wanna say what he did was still mostly wrong but i dont have the patience for a counter claim

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skinnyducky · 4 years ago

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good in bed // v.h.

Hey...how y’all doing? I have halfway recovered from my wisdom teeth surgery and I definitely was feeling a bit sad not posting and whatnot. But, here I am now, so I hope you enjoy this one. Pt. 3 to Party at Y/n’s is most likely coming Monday. And, Pt. 2 to Maneater is coming Wednesday (hopefully). Any who, hope you enjoy! Also, this is very much inspired by Dula Peep’s “Good in Bed.”

Word Count: 1336, edited

WARNING: mentions of sex, arguing, angst, language, and i think that’s it.

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The start of yours and Vinnie’s relationship was like ice cream on hot summer day. It was sweet, it was refreshing, and it was much needed. After being cheated on by your ex, you needed to find something to bring the love back…and that’s exactly what Vinnie did. The two of you had met after accidentally buying the same car. You bickered and fought over the vintage vehicle before he ultimately decided to let you keep it…but only if you gave him your number. You happily did so and long story short, that led to a beautiful relationship…or at least what was a beautiful relationship.

As the relationship went on, you found that the so-called “honeymoon phase” was really just a phase. For you and Vinnie, it lasted for a least a good two weeks. What started as late night conversations before bed shifted into heated debates and hate-filled goodnights. The butterflies that fluttered around had died, and now your stomach was overflowed with enraged hornets. You didn’t know what was the cause of your downfall, and you weren’t even sure that there was anything that could fix it.

Well…you knew one thing that definitely fixed it: sex. The term “angry sex” seemed like a myth. You thought people were just overhyping it…until you were actually living it. You remember the first time it happened; you were pissed that he didn’t show up to dinner with your parents, while he was pissed because you hadn’t stopped yelling at him for a good hour. The two of you argued for hours, and as an attempt to get you to stop, Vinnie grabbed you by your waist and tossed you onto his bed. It was silent, the only sound being the heavy breathing from both of you. Next thing you know, the two of you are going at it.

Ever since then, that’s all you two did: fight and screw, then pretend like nothing ever happened. As nice as the sex was, it just was too toxic for you. You didn’t want to be stuck in an endless cycle and having to resort to sex to solve your problems. And also, you wanted Vinnie to know you for more than just your body. With that being said, you figured the solution to that was to communicate. Something you two did none of.

So, here you were in Vinnie’s room, sitting on his bed and waiting for him to finish streaming. While scrolling mindlessly through Instagram, you tried to figure out what the hell you were going to say. You didn’t know how to talk about your feelings, it was completely foreign to you. Ugh, this was going to be difficult.

“…I love you guys, bye chat.”

Vinnie stopped streaming and turned around in his seat to face you. You pursed his lips and started fiddling with his thumbs. “So, what did you wanna talk about?”

“I think you know.” You said, not meeting his eyes.

“Is this the talk? You’re breaking up with me aren’t you?”

You shook your head, laughing to yourself at the boy’s stupidity. “No, Vinnie…I’m not breaking up with you.”

“Then why does it feel like you are?”

“I promise, I’m not. I just wanna try to communicate, y’know. Like other couples do.”

He shrugged. “Don’t we already do that?”

“I wouldn’t necessarily call our exploration of each other’s bodies ‘communicating.’ Besides, you and I both know that our relationship isn’t the same as before. It’s like we’ve grown cold towards each other or something.”

“Is this because I forgot our anniversary?” He asked, leaning back in his chair.

You gave him a puzzled look for a minute, trying to figure out when your anniversary actually was. Had you forgot too? Damn, this relationship really was trash.

“Uhm, no…this isn’t about that. Although, we really need to mark our anniversary on our calendars.”

“Then what’s this about, Y/n?”

You sighed and stood up from your spot on his bed. You paced in front of him, trying to figure out the right words to say. “Vinnie…I’m tired. I’m tired of always arguing and then having angry sex…which is amazing, by the way.”

He squinted his eyes at you as he thought about what you said. “So…are you mad about the arguing or the sex?”

“Oh my god, why is this so hard?” you groaned. “I’m mad about all of it, Vin. I’m mad that we just can’t talk to each other. I’m mad that when we do have time together, we spend it arguing. I’m mad that the only way for us to enjoy each other’s company is to have sex. I’m just tired of it all.”

“Then, let’s just end the relationship.”

You stopped your pacing and stared at him with wide eyes. “I just told you I didn’t wanna break up.”

Vinnie chuckled, “I know that Y/n, but if you’re really feeling that way…then just leave.”

“I can’t believe what I’m hearing right now. You actually want to just break up? Aren’t you going to at least talk to me about what you’re feeling? Aren’t you gonna fight for us?”

“You wanna know what I’m feeling, Y/n?” Vinnie asked. You nodded, egging him to continue. “I’m feeling…very hungry right now. I want a fat burger and a fat fry with a fat shake to go along with it. That’s exactly what I’m feeling right now. And if the relationship is already going to hell…why fight for it? I say let it die.”

He then proceeded to hop out of his seat and dance around his room, chanting “let it die, let it die…let it shrivel up and die” while clapping.

You just stood there with nothing to say. You couldn’t believe that he was taking this all as a joke. You just poured your entire heart to him, trying to fix your relationship, and he’s sitting here quoting The Lorax and acting like a child. At this point, you were sure that there was no hope for the two of you and you were fine with that. You weren’t going to be driven mad by this anymore.

“You’re a fucking joke.” You growled, picking up your keys off his bed. “Y’know, I wish we hadn’t met each other because I’d be way better off if I didn’t even know you.”

“That’s not saying a lot, babe. You’d probably still be with the same dickhead who cheated on you.”

You scoffed, feeling the hornets in your stomach get their stingers ready. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’m saying I made your life better. You wouldn’t be who you are today if it wasn’t for me.”

“You’re one to talk. You’d be stuck in here, playing video games and withering away if I hadn’t come along.”

Vinnie huffed, holding back a laugh. “At least I don’t have to deal with video games nagging at me all the time.”

“Jerk!” you yelled, rushing to his door. You stood in the doorway, turning around to look back at him. “I never want to see you again, you hear me? NEVER again, Vincent. You’re dead to me.”

Slamming the door behind you, you made your way down the hallway of the Hype House. But before you could go any further, something stopped you. A feeling of sadness washed over you and your anger subsided. The hornets that once threatened to pour out of you had now calmed down. At that moment, you felt your body tremble as sin known as lust flowed through your veins. You swallowed hard, trying to keep yourself from rushing back into Vinnie’s room and pouncing on him…but there was nothing you could do to stop yourself.

“Screw it,” you whispered.

You turned around and darted towards Vinnie’s room. Bursting through the door, you tackled him onto the bed and well…you know the rest. You knew going through this all over again was bad, that it was causing more damage to your relationship. It was definitely sad…but that’s what made you good in bed.

#vinnie hacker #vinnie hacker x reader #vinnie x reader #vinnie hacker imagine

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caelumsnuff · 3 years ago

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Hi, sorry this is a long ask but I really appreciated your posts! The daemon/demon allegory had been bothering me since that storyline started but I hadn't really been able to articulate why, and it brought a lot of other issues to light for me as well!

(Personally I never finished the freelancer series because the whole bridging/SA allegory really made me angry so I appreciate that someone else also saw the reasons why that decision was... poor to say the least).

And definitely agreed about the over-polarization of characters into good vs. bad!

I feel like a lot of the story decisions are based on the fact that many people are self-inserting, which unfortunately means reducing a lot of the nuance and gray aspects that would be more interesting to explore. Like with Vincent and Lovely- from a self-insert perspective, it's more 'romantic' and comforting to think that your partner would have as limited a power divide between you as possible and would take steps to ensure that, even though narratively it's not as interesting a choice. Which is also why I think the Bright Eyes storyline was axed, and why Love's obsession code was removed, and why I'm afraid that Darlin's story resolution is just going to fade into some milquetoast version of "love fixes everything!" rather than what it could have been- because people are putting themselves in the place of the listeners, it reinforces the idea that to like a character you have to endorse and agree with all their actions, so necessarily any character doing "bad" things or making darker decisions is a "bad person" and people don't want to imagine themself as a "bad person", no matter what that does to the story being told.

Honestly, Sam and Darlin' are my favorite characters which is why it pains me that their story is edging dangerously close to "I got into a relationship and it solved all my problems!" rather than two people with trust issues and unresolved trauma finding a friend when they needed one and that relationship slowly blossoming into something more as both of them come to terms with the things that are haunting them (which I agree would make more sense if Sam had either been turned more recently or if it had been clearly established that the clan is more loose-knit and not in fact a workable support system for him); honestly when the story started and it said slow burn I kind of thought they wouldn't start dating until much later, maybe even after things with Quinn came to a head, and I'm a bit disappointed we only got about 2 audios of them interacting pre-relationship. (Also I have a lot of problems with the way things between Darlin' and the pack were "resolved" in one frankly condescending and empty speech about family but I won't get into it here)

Anyway sorry again for the long message but thank you for your posts!

No need to apologize for the long message, i appreciate them You’re welcome for the posts, im happy to know that some people really enjoy them and that they’re making people think a little. Apparently a handful of people have dropped the Freelancer series because of the choices that were made in it, which is valid. I’m not exactly happy that its so bad that so many of us see issue with it, but i am glad to know im not the only person who feels it was wrong. I’m not neccesarily concerned about people self-inserting into listener characters, that is what they are for, Redacted made all content gender neutral and as inclusive as possible for this exact purpose. I think some of the issues with story-telling and overpolarization with characters does stim from Redacted’s desire to write content as inclusive as possible though. I respect this decision and desire, but i don’t think you can ever please everyone when it comes to the type of content you make without sanitizing a lot of it. Maybe this opinion stims from my general ‘doesn’t give a fuck’ attitude about creation, but he really could have just gone for it and made characters grayer (especially ones the listeners have romantic relationships with), regardless of whether or not it brings in a larger audience and pleases the most amount of people. It would be generally better from a story telling perspective. We already have ASMR content (from other creators) that caters specifically to a certain audience that excludes a lot of people (content that is very gendered, content that is racially specific with blushing and hair, etc etc), I think making content that is gender-neutral with some more complicated and grayer characters is a good middle ground, a niche that Redacted can fill. Maybe with Redacted leaving the discord server, he’ll be seeing a lot less of peoples opinions personally, and will start writing content that better fits his writing style and his characters again. It’s something that i would be really happy to see again, genuinely. Because i love Darlin’ and Sam so much is definitely the reason im concerned about where their story is going. But again, maybe Redacted distancing himself from the fanbase will save some storylines. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ who knows tho Thanks again for the ask 💖

#anon #ask #redacted asmr

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