#at this moment i realize the best form of spite is to live life stress free

[3-aem]

want the haters and lovers to know i had a wonderful day with friends, got food i liked, bought books i wanted, and watched a good movie all while surrounded by people who love me. because i know how miserable the cycle of being a creator online can be. i know the stress and I know it’s universal. i know the mental state you have to be in from staring at a screen all day. i got to live a day where there was no obligation. art wasn’t a concern of mine because it couldn’t be a concern of mine. and it probably would have taken me years to get there on my own.

[whosjunglejim4322]

Bramosia | J.Seo (m)

Genre: pwp, knight!au, smut, fluff, he is, and I can't stress this enough, madly in love with you

Warnings: loss of virginity, pussy eating, mutual pining and longing, it's forbidden but who's gonna stop u??? Exactly. Inaccurate descriptions of the time period probably, inappropriate use of the word princess, he fucks you to tears, this is so self indulgent I gotta blast

The moons unearthly luminescence bleeds through the windows that sit directly above your wing of the old castles corridor, a reminder of why he bears the heavy sword that hangs off of his hip, of why he's here in the first place.

He rolls his aching neck, blinking his dry eyes a few times in an attempt to dampen them. He's usually not so worn by now.

Perhaps the two of you had gotten too carried away last night, it's too easy when you're with eachother. Effortless, like that of a flowers perianth traveling wistfully through a summers breeze. It's easy to forget.

He's here to protect you, nothing more, as he is was a proffesional in all that he does. He is a knight, after all. One of the best. Your father wouldn't have requested him from a province so far away if he weren't damn good.

Six months ago, it seems like a lifetime away and yet the memory of seeing you for the very first time is so vivid behind his eyelids, tangible as if he could reach out and hover his palms over the warmth the halo around you seemed to emit.

He smiles to himself, the image keeping him sane and distracting him from the ache in the soles of his feet. He knows you're probably not sleeping, he wishes you wouldn't worry about him. He's doing it to himself, really.

He is a warrior but he is only so strong, so resilient. He has never been stricken by such a force as to have his bones feel as weak as they do when he looks into your eyes, when you cup his face in your hands like he is the most delicate thing you have ever seen. 

Sure, he hadn't been the most nonchalant. His eyes barely left you even during the brief moments in which his life is not sworn over to do so, and you being you, caught him almost every time. You'd smile, fleeting enough for only him to notice.

You never get the credit you deserve, he had come to find out over the past several months. Being a princess, as fawned over the title may be, it wasn't meant for you.

You'd scowl at the name of every prince your father mentioned might come visit, which he'd take pride in secretly. You wouldn't even scold him whenever he'd been clearly protective in a manner than suggested that it was more than just the job that inclined him to act that way.

Perceptive, and clever you are. And to think, you might feel even a fraction of what he feels, it causes his heart to thunder loudly behind his sturdy ribcage, momentarily reducing his fatigue.

You are the only one in all of his twenty five years of life that has threatened to shake his very foundation, like you've found a way to wind yourself through every ridge of his skeleton like vines of Wisteria.

Sundays are always the hardest, you're still so fresh in his mind, on his skin. It's like every inch of him has been permanently marked, he can still feel the weight of your body against his and the warm puff of air from your lips against his earlobe as you sing his name.

His sigh is quiet in the vast, empty space around him. He shouldn't be thinking of you so late, when he's so tired. It makes him ache for you all the more, make him wish life was anything but what it is now. That he could be with you unabashedly.

That he could be your protector, and not just in a way that could be be permanently devastated if anyone were to find out about the two of you.

He doesn't realize he's closed his eyes, not until he has to peel them open and search for the source of the soft voice he's just heard whisper his name into the dark.

He furrows his brows as a stream of warm candlelight spills through the crack in your door from your room, your form coming into a few just a moment later, as if beckoned from his dreams.

"You're really going to stay out there, John?" He foresees your incredulity, smiling at the hand thats propped up on your hip.

"Those are my orders, princess." He has a hard time not staring at you, even in such poor lighting you are still the most beautiful thing he's ever witnessed.

He's always stubborn about breaking the made up rules you two have put in place, like only meeting in private on Saturdays. Despite his inability to resist you he still needs to keep you safe.

"My father is a whole wing away, don't you know," you emphasize your point by stepping out past your doorframe, tiptoeing at an almost imperceptible pace towards him. "and if danger were to arise, how much more convenient need it be, than for you to be right there with me?"

You're standing right in front of him now, weaking his resolve eith each syllable that passes those pretty lips of yours. It's strange, how he still wonders if your feelings for him are resolute as his are for you, when you're the one always asking for trouble. Eager to have your way.

When you reach out to grab his waist, he breaks.

"Princess, if someone were to see that I'm not outside of your room guarding as I'm supposed to,"

You interrupt him, pressing yourself closer until he can feel your chest against his, the barrier of his clothing suddenly a burden far heavier than before.

"Who? Who might see? Everyone is asleep, you should be."

You stare up at him and he can't seem to resist the pull, meeting your eyes and unclapsing his hands from behind his back to stroke the apple of your cheek with his knuckles.

You heel into his touch, beaming as you realise you've already gotten your way, evident in the way he sighs your name as if the word fills him with oxytocin.

"You really are trouble," he cups your face, calloused fingertips swiping a fallen lash from underneath your eye. "trying to lure me in, like a siren. I'd be willing to go, anyways."

You lift yourself to the tips of your toes, pressing a brief, featherlight, kiss to the surface of his lips. Just enough to bring forth warmth to his cheeks.

"You're silly, I'd be too selfish a siren to do any damage. I'd have to keep you all to myself."

His arms are strong and steady as the encapsulate you, the fears and worries of outside intruders fading with each second spent in eachothers presence. It's like nothing else exists.

"Please, Princess. It's hard enough already, to be away from you," he's on the verge of losing any bit of hope for his sanity, but as anticipated, you won't have it.

"And you don't think it's hard for me? You think that I enjoy knowing that it is prohibited for me to be like this with you? I am many things but I am not selfish, so if you don't want to come with me then I won't force you."

He has to bite back a laugh, or maybe a scream of frustration and agony all at the same time. Here you are, so close he's sure you can hear how his pulse pounds beneath his skin at your presence, actually accusing him of not wanting you. It's preposterous.

You glare up at him when his arms don't loosen their grasp.

"You must be mistaken, sorely mistaken. If you think that any moment spent without you is even the least bit pleasant for me, you're wrong. So wrong it's a bit humorous," he kisses your cheek, and then the other. Your skin tingles where his lips grace.

"You may not be selfish but I am. So selfish that I'd give into my own desires even if it meant that one slip up could ruin it all. Don't you see that?" You sigh blissfully, in spite of his words, when he kisses your nose.

"Well I think that's stupid, I'd never let such a thing happen. I've lived here my whole life, I'd be able to predict the likelihood of someone coming up here during such a late hour."

He doesn't miss the pitch of sadness that comes with talk of the castle, he knows that there is so much you still have yet to experience. So much you'd like to do, so far away from here.

Still, he can't deny the truth in which you speak. You're right, and he knows that you're as careful of these things as he is. He trusts you, as you trust him. And what is he going to do, say no? He'd never have the willpower.

His broad shoulders relax, his hands suddenly engulfing yours.

"Alright, you don't have to pout anymore. You know I'll end up kissing it from that pretty face of yours anyways."

You suppress a giggle of elation, squeezing your fingers around his as you turn to quietly pull him into your room, peering into the the hallway once more to make sure the coast is clear, before you ease your door shut.

And then at once, he is what you taste on your tongue.

His lips always leave you breathless. The way he kisses you, it's as of you are his only source of oxygen and his lungs burn with the need for air. He is fierce, but so very concise. You almost forget that he so ruefully pretended to put up a fight.

Your arms mold around his neck as he slouches the slightest bit in order to make the reach easier for you, knowing how you like to bury your hands in his hair and tug at the strands whenever he does something that you'd like more of.

Your eagerness is a bit more exuberant tonight, normally you'd still be a bit bashful, giggling between pecks and having to turn your face away before kissing him again.

But you haven't pulled away from him yet, not even for a breath and suddenly his skin is sweltering towards what feels like a hundred degrees. He's pretty sure you've just whispered his name.

He's already gone, helplessly lost in the way you're clinging onto him with all your strength.

"John." Just his name falling from your lips in the form of a sweet sigh has his knees buckling.

He's careful, hesitant even, when he cups the back of your knees and allows you to fall atop your bed, the sight almost too much to bear. He can never catch a break.

But he has to look at you, has to see the look in your eyes, the gleam that shines in your blown out pupils as your fingers tug at the clothing hanging loosely on his body. He fights back a groan.

Of course things have gotten intense between the two of you, but nothing more than over the clothes petting. And, even then, that drove him to the brink of insanity. He didn't think he could ever be putty in someone's hands until he met you.

It feels like everything is happening so fast yet not slow enough, it seems as if you're blooming like a lotus before his eyes and he wants to capture every little detail. Just incase one day his memories are all he has of you.

You pull him back down to your mouth, legs suddenly looping around his trim waist, knees locked on either side. You practically purr as his hands, large and tender, grace your thighs only to be met with bare skin where your nightgown has risen up.

He's breathing heavily when your mouths depart momentarily, his doe eyes an onyx pit of desire and emotion as he stares down at you, lips ruby red.

You nod, as if reading his mind and answering the dozens of unanswered questions that sit unmoving at the tip of his tongue. Still, his eyebrows are pulled together in concentration, in tentative restraint.

"You can touch me. Please, touch me."

Your skin is heavenly underneath his trembling touch, from the soft hair atop your thighs to the way you so perfectly mold around his fingers. You're a gift of the most ethereal kind, here in front of him.

You coo at him with a voice of an angel, pulling at his face in an attempt to have him kiss you again. He's been too busy ogling, and repays you with the press of his mouth against the crook of your neck.

You lift your chin to allow him more access, eyes fluttering closed and thighs tightening around his middle when you feel the warmth of his open mouth against your throat.

"You're so sweet, so pretty." He mumbles, practically floating.

He nips at your collarbone, and you can't stop your hips from bucking up against him, your clothed center meeting his hardened length through the material of his bottoms.

The air is thick with tension now, you can feel it buzzing through the both of you like ths thrum of a thunderstorm. He sucks in a breath, lips ghosting over yours.

"I want to make you feel good, If you'd allow me." He tries to control the shake in his voice but he's not sure he's succeeded. What a mess you've made of him.

You kiss him for what seems like the hundredth time but feels like the first, still sending jolts of electricity through your body and causing heat to swirl in your loins. You can barely speak.

"Y-Yes, yes I'll allow you."

Your voice is foreign to your own ears, clouded with desire and a desperation that is as overwhelming as it is strange and new.

But having him here, knowing he's the one whose hands are touching you, it's comforting in a way that leaves no room for doubt that he is nothing but kind. Nothing but adoring.

It's hard to tell with just the luminosity of a single candle on your bedside table, but you're almost certain you can feel him shuffle. At least, his weight seems to have shifted, his arms suddenly caged around your waist, upperhalf between your legs.

And then you feel it, the plushness of his lips just above your knee as he lifts your legs by your calves, placing them over his shoulders. You're not sure you can focus on anything else now, breathing suddenly heavy.

"You're so beautiful, you know that?" His voice is so close, yet far away in an unfamiliar way. It has butterflies swarming your belly.

"I'm so lucky, so so lucky..." He trails off between kisses, shifting from one thigh to the other, slowly but surely making his way towards your center.

It's only now in your bird brain that you're beginning to realize what exactly he's about to do, and it's like some switch inside of you has been flicked on, toes suddenly curling in anticipation, wetness soaking into the fabric of your underwear.

The desire isn't just in your belly now, its everywhere. All consuming, when he pushes your nightgown up and bunches it around your hips, the air cool against your skin. You shiver, and his cheek brushes against the crease of your thigh.

"Have you ever been touched like this, princess?" He's curious but not pushy, just wants to know. When you shake your head, he swallows.

He's slow and steady, pulling your underwear off your hips and down your legs, allowing the garment to fall to the floor. You don't clamp your legs shut, despite the instinct to shield yourself. You've never hidden yourself from him, and you know there's no reason to.

Esepcially not when he's looking at you like he is right now, like a man starved whose just been presented with a meal of his favorite kind. He glances up at you, with eyes that shine with gratitude, and awe alike. You reach out to stroke his hair.

And then, suddenly, his face is gone from your view. You feel it, first, before you register that it's happening. A gasp leaves your lips the moment your back arches ever so slightly off of your mattress, his hands keeping your thighs apart as his tongue licks another flat stripe through your folds.

You feel exposed in a way that only feels as intoxicating as it does, because he's the one with his mouth on your cunt, suckling your bud between his lips and swiveling his head side to side. You tug at his hair.

A guttural groan resonates in his throat and the vibration serves as direct stimulation, a mewl leaving your mouth as you buck you hips up against his skilled tongue.

"Shhh baby, stay quiet for me," you furrow your eyebrows, looking down at him with stars in your eyes. "I know, I know sweetheart." He reads the pleading in your eyes, soothingly rubbing your hips as he delves back in.

It's not easy to stay quiet. Not at all.

If you'd thought him rubbing your clit through your clothes was something to be noisy over, nothing prepared you for this.

He's so good at it, so generous with every lap of his tongue. The sounds are lewd and loud in the shared space, and his tongues pace only increases when you reach down to find his hands. He intertwines your fingers before you give him the hint.

You try to keep your volume low, your whimpers almost inaudible but loud enough to spurr him on, to have his hips rutting against the bed while he kisses your cunt with passion only a lover could have.

Bliss overcomes you faster than you expect, and swallows you whole like a vicious, unmerciful hurricane.

Your thighs tremble against his strength as he keeps them parted when they threaten to close, your fingers twisted in the comforter as tears well in your eyes.

You're not sure if you're making any noise, the light too bright behind your eyes, bones suddenly weightless as his tongue licks you clean. You twitch, aware that you've let out a whine. The feeling is agonizingly pleasant.

You're still throbbing when his hands suddenly grasp your jaw, head lolling in his direction as he presses his lips to yours. He's serene, slipping his tongue into your mouth, humming.

You're certain, now. Certain that you need to have him in every way there is to have someone, for your heart may forever be unsettled if it doesn't get to taste what it's like to love him wholly, completely.

"I want to-" you've got his rapt attention, as you always do, and he stares down at you with a lovesick expression as you struggle to find the strength to say it out loud.

He's grown accustomed to reading your countenance, only time allowing him to grasp the meaning behind every crease and line that forms on your face, he's certain you could give him one look and he'd instantly know what it is that you're trying to say.

One perk to having a secret rendezvous, though he still needs to hear you say it. He'd only take your word for it regarding something like this, something that he's dreamt about more times that he'd like to admit.

He can't hide his surprise, thumbs stroking your face.

"You want me to..." he quirks an inquisitive brow, nearly becoming distracted when your tongue darts out to wet your bottom lip. "you want me to be your first?"

Even the words have you latching onto him tighter, desperate to feel the warmth of his skin against yours.

"Yes, I want that very much...do you...also want that?"

He grins, widely and for a moment you forget he was born to be made of steel, that he's fought all of his life and has bruised his skin for the sake of his kingdom. You want to kiss away every bad memory in his head.

"How could you even think you have to ask? I want nothing more, just you. You're all I'll ever want."

The veracity in his voice, suddenly hoarse, makes your skin feel like it's being tickled by a million, tiny feathers. You never knew anything could feel like this.

A heartbeat later, your hands are slipping underneath his top to make an attempt at pulling it off, your excitment not a good match for your lack of coordination. Of course, he doesn't mind helping.

He slips his sword from his hip while you stare up at him with wide eyes of reverence and desire, so much of him being exposed at once causing a swelter of heat to boil underneath your skin.

Your hands are hesitant, hovering around his lithe hips as he sits back on his haunches, chest rapidly rising and falling as the atmosphere begins to soak into his pores. He can't believe he gets to make love to you.

"You can touch me, princess," he's the one reassuring you now, knowing that beyond your headstrong personality when you're with him, you're still so timid; trembling like a leaf in autumn.

His dexterous fingers gently grasp your wrists, placing your palms over his abdomen, keeping your gaze all the while, head nodding in encouragement.

He's soft, soft on the surface at least. The soft down that covers his honey colored skin is like silk underneath your fingers, a juxtaposition to the rigid muscle underneath that flexes as your fingertips move upwards towards the broad planes of his chest.

You hook your fingers around his shoulders, and pull him down to your mouth, determined as your heart bellows inside of your body.

It's wilder this time, the wet sounds loud in your ears, his tongue waltzing with yours. You rake your nails down his sides, and he damn near growls.

It's a blur, the way he slips the straps of your gown from off of your shoulders, before removing the garment completely and throwing it behind him. Somewhere in between he pulls the covers out from underneath you, sensing the chill that runs through you like a tremor from the exposure.

It's during that brief moment when you're too drunk on adrenaline, that your fingers begin pulling at the buckle of his bottoms, too eager again and not being able to unfasten it correctly. Always the gentlemen, he does it for you, again.

He's careful now, not completely planting himself against you yet when he kisses your neck and takes your breasts in his massive palms, squeezing indulgently.

You pull him up by the ridge of his jaw, wrapping your legs around his middle as you had previously, letting out a small gasp as his hard length suddenly comes to lie heavy between your legs when you beckon him closer by your heels on his back.

"You're sure you want me?" He slips his hand that's not cupping your cheek, down in between your bodies to rub your clit with his middle finger, actually expecting you to be able to speak coherently. He supresses his gasp upon feeling the abundance of your essence.

It's hard to focus, when he's looking down at you like that, when you can feel every ridge and curve of his naked body against yours. Perhaps it's being able to to tell that he's feeling the same way just by the way he speaks, that makes it so intoxicating.

"You're all I'll ever want." You echo his earlier words, and his laughter fills your ears like a lullably. You reach out to push his dark hair out from in front of his eyes, his lips catching your palm and placing a kiss to the center.

"It'll hurt, I'll go as slow as you need me to." You see the worry creased between his brow, and you soothe it away by clenching your thighs around his waist, silently beckoning him.

"Please, please fuck me."

It takes him by surprise, cock twitching against your sex. You sound so sweet, so angelic even when you're requesting something so filthy.

He lifts himself on his forearms, reaching down to grasp his shaft. Your hands are in his hair a the while, fingers tracing shapes across the nape of his neck. You suck in a breath when he rubs the tip against your clit, arousal leaking from your slit.

He rubs his cock against you like this, through your silken folds and back up to your sensitive nub, until your head is thrown back against the pillows, face turned to the side and canorous mewls slipping past your lips.

Your eyes flutter open when he kisses you, finally prodding your entrance, readying you. Your teeth gently sink into the plush surface of his bottom lip, as if urging him to continue.

Your mouth falls open when he begins to push himself inside of you. You have to brace yourself by clinging onto his biceps, reminding yourself to breathe.

If you weren't as wet for him as you are, you're sure it would be more painful. It still stings, even more so as he begins to bottom out, using every bit of self control he has as to make sure he doesn't accidentally rut into you with too much force.

He meets your eyes when he's fully sheathed inside of you, your fingernails leaving crescent moons in his skin. He doesn't mind it one bit.

"Are you alright?" The tenderness in his voice is accompanied by his lips across your cheeks, down your jaw, over your eyelids.

"Mhm. J-Just stay like this, for a second, please." Your walls flutter around him and his eyes fall heavy. He stays as still as he can for the moment, fingers massaging your soft hip.

"I never thought...never dreamed we'd get to do this." He speaks in an irrevocable way, swelling your heart over two times its size with how he talks about you. Like you're truly something magical.

You wiggle your hips, his gaze searching for yours and lighting up with newfound determination when you give him conformation to move. He slowly drags himself out, before pushing himself back in.

"If you only knew...how much I truly think of you." You speak steadily despite the wave of pleasure that ripples through your body, from the pit of your stomach outwards, touching every nerve.

He's big, bigger than you expected, but curved in a way that has you fighting a cry. Your lungs ache with the need to make noise, to express how it feels to have him inside of you like this. You squeeze around him, and he smashes his lips against yours.

You never thought it would feel like this, you'd heard mixed reviews but clearly none of them had ever experienced what it's like to have someone like him demonstrating their skill.

He's precise, a little shaky but only because he's concentrating on not literally cumming after two minutes. You're everything he's ever wanted and more, you're soaked and warm around him, chest pressed flush against his. Your hardened nipples threaten to distract him.

His hair tickles your forehead as he begins to create a steady pace. He's got one hand behind your right thigh, cupping it and hiking it up just the slightest bit while he fucks into you, curling his hips.

He swallows your moans, tasting the sense of surrealness on your tongue. He feels it too, groaning when you tug a tuft of his hair.

"You're mine, all mine, fuck." His voice is hoarse, hips stuttering as he begins to rock into you, not completely pulling himself out of you before nudging your cervix again. His mouth catches the edge of your jaw, then your earlobe.

He buries his face in your shoulder, and you wrap your arms around his neck, pressing your lips against his hair as you keep yourself quiet. He can still feel the way you're shivering, the whispers of cries that are audible when you breathe.

"I'm yours, I'm yours." You're not sure you could ever feel this way about someone else, and not just because he is all that every single one of your senses seemed to be attuned to.

He's deep inside of you, reaching places you never would be able to by yourself, and still holds you like you're the entire world. Despite the need that consumes you both, he takes his time.

You feel him everywhere. On your neck, your throat, down to your clavicle where his hot tongue soothes over the mark he's just made.

You can almost feel him in your belly, the tip of his cock nudging the sweet spot of nerves deep within you causing your body to jerk in his hold. He takes note and is determined to drive you over the edge, knowing he's not going to last much longer.

He's yearned for it too long, and nothing his mind could have conjured up would ever compare again.

He lets go of your leg only to bring his hand to where your bodies are connected as one, your face contorted into a mask of pleasure as he begins to rub at your clit, in circular motions, with the same rythym as his thrusts.

"John, ohhh, you f-feel so good." You're slurring your words, high off of his affection. Your belly feels hot, a pressure just behind your navel leaving you writhing, trying to match his pace.

"Yeah? Feels good to have me inside of you?" He's being cruel now, already knowing the answer by the way tears are swelling in your eyes for the second time tonight, irisises shining back at him.

Your hands roam his sides, settling on his hips as you turn your face to hide it against his bicep. He kisses any expanse of skin that he can reach, till the wet spots leave a trail of chills along your body.

You're close, and he knows it. You're already leaking onto the bed, dripping down his shaft.

"J-John...p-please." You're blubbering now, and his fingers circle your clit faster, just enough to have you breathless and unable to speak as his strokes become inconsistent, cock throbbing.

"Shh, I got you baby, gonna make you cum okay? Want you to let go."

Looking up into his eyes, it's hard to resist. Suddenly it's the first time you've met and you're awestruck by his beauty all over again, by the sharp planes of his face that you'd come to realize are soft underneath your touch.

You're kissing him again for the first time, and his lips are as plush and pillowy as they look, his hands big and wsrm as they hold your face steady against his mouth.

You realize you're in love with him for the first time again, staring into honey colored irises and listening to his velvet voice, aware that when he's gone it feels like a piece of you has been taken along with him.

Your body suddenly stills, save for your back arching and his body, sturdy and whole, there to anchor you while you forget you breathe. Your orgasm is all the more powerful this time, with him inside of you, and it's like once youre unraveling it doesn't stop.

He holds the back of your head and allows you to muffle your cries against his chest, fingers latching onto any part of him you reach first, as if you might fall of the face of the earth. He's still rubbing your clit, whispering sweet encouragements in your ear.

You don't pick up all of it, only vaguely aware of the tremor in his tone as he says your name.

And then he's locked against you, every muscle in his body rigid and hard as a strained, muffled whimper resonates from beside your head. He's biting into a pillow, as warmth fills you to the brim and he sloppily fucks it into you.

You're still reeling, when he kisses you like someone who hasn't seen their lover in years and is finally getting the chance to touch them again, to wordlessly express how enamored they are. Wholeheartedly, and irreversibly.

He says it first, which surprises you, considering in your dreams you're always the one professing it to him, stroking his skin or petting his hair and whispering it in between kisses.

But you're sure this is real, you can feel ache in your bones, the throb of your centers where they're still connected.

"I love you." His voice is even more beautiful when he's speaking in such a simple, yet profound way. There's a quiver, but not because he's not being honest. He'd swear on his life, for his conviction.

"I love you too." You reply, looping your fingers round the nape of his neck, toying with the soft hair there.

Maybe he shouldn't be so shocked, but he is. His face can't hide it, the quirk of his full lips, the furrow of disbelief in his brow. You want to kiss his stupid face a thousand time over.

"I love you." He repeats it, as if the words bring forth sunshine on a day shrouded by the darkness of rain clouds.

He repeats it again, when he's hovering over your lips, breath warm against your skin. He repeats it again when he's placing kisses to your forehead, when you giggle and stroke his cheek.

"And I love you, silly silly man." You remind him, willing him by the longing in your voice, to believe it as you believe him.

He repeats it again, when a tear cascades down your cheek like a diamond shaped declaration of your honesty, and he kisses it away, claiming it for himself.

You love him, and he loves you.

And maybe, no matter what happens, that'll be enough.

[lick-me-lennon22]

George caring for a sick Dhani 💜

(thank you to @pmak2002 for this request!! it was supposed to be just a blurb but I did a little research beforehand and it ended up pretty much becoming a whole fic 😅 oops... either way, I hope you enjoy this one! 💕)

When Dhani wakes up for school on Monday morning, he immediately knows something his wrong. His throat is sore, his nose is runny, and his muscles ache like nothing he's felt before. He painstakingly drags himself out of bed, clutching the sheet around him, and heads straight to his parents' bedroom where he finds his mum Olivia still in bed. Dhani notices that the bathroom door is cracked open and cautiously steps inside to find his father, George, brushing his teeth. "Dad..?" he says quietly, voice hoarse. George startles, turning around to see Dhani in his unfortunate state and spits his mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, letting the water wash it down the drain before turning the tap off. "What is it, my boy? You sound bloody awful..," he gently presses the back of his hand to Dhani's forehead to assess his temperature. "You seem to be running quite the fever, son- let's get you to the doctor, all right? Just let me finish up in here and I'll be right out to take ye" George says. Dhani nods weakly, coughing into his elbow, and shuffles out of the room. George jumps into action- he swishes and spits some mouthwash, changes out of his sleepwear into a button-up and jeans, and sprints to the car, his son following close behind him and hopping into the passenger's seat.

 

"This is ridiculous.." George mutters under his breath as he walks his son out of the clinic and gets into the driver's seat of his car. They had been able to see the doctor almost instantly upon arriving; he had taken some swabs, run a few tests, and determined that Dhani had contracted the flu: "He probably picked it up from school," the doc had said. When George had requested a prescription of some kind to alleviate his son's symptoms, the doctor simply shook his head: "I'm afraid there isn't much we can do for him. The flu's been going around at many schools, I've seen a lot of children this past week with the same complaints. As it stands, all I can tell you is to give him some over-the-counter medicine, bring him some saltwater to gargle for that sore throat, and be sure he gets plenty of fluids and bedrest." George tried to argue, stating that there must be something he can do to cure Dhani of his illness sooner- but as the doc's hands were tied and George didn't want to subject his son to more stress, he took Dhani by the hand and led him out of the office, through the lobby, and back to the car. "Alright, my boy," George sighs- "seeing that the doctor was no help whatsoever, we're headed straight to the drugstore for anything that'll help you feel better. Sound good?"

"Yeah Dad, sounds good" Dhani croaks out and smiles weakly, glad just to spend some time with his father. Being a famous musician and all, George isnt able to spend as much time with his son as he'd like to, a lot of it consumed by work and media-related endeavors. Dhani admired his Dad more than anyone else in his life and though they rarely got the chance to hang out nowadays, they were practically best friends and had formed a close bond throughout his childhood. George was always a fun parent, bringing his son along to festivals and such ("Don't tell yer mum," he'd say with a grin), and sticking up for Dhani to authority figures and even other kids at his school- he was fiercely protective of his boy. However, he was also a gentle parent who allowed Dhani the chance to explore and express himself, and had fostered a mutual respect between the two of them since his son was but a toddler.

"I'm pulling you from school for the whole week" "But what if I'm- *cough*- all better before then?" "Just in case, Dhani- it's not like you really need them and their indoctrination, anyway.." George grumbles, never having been a fan of traditional schools or their teachings. Dhani however has always cared about his grades and paid close attention to the lessons he's been taught, in spite of what his father thinks. "...Okay, Dad" he says meekly, wanting to protest but unwilling to sacrifice more quality time with his famous father. George pulls into the parking lot of the nearest drugstore and marches in, intent on gathering all the supplies his sick boy could need: tissues, lozenges, cough syrup, pain medication, ice packs, and even more tissues- 'just in case.' He makes his way to the checkout, queuing up, paying for the items and hauling his bags back to the car. He drives Dhani home as quickly as possible, carrying him to bed and tucking him in before calling and cancelling any studio time, interviews, or collaborations he'd previously planned. There's only one committment he can't cancel- dinner with Paul tonight for the first time in ages. George sets his son up with all of the remedies he'd bought and tells his wife Olivia everything about the situation, including the "unhelpful and useless" doctor they had gone to see. She of course agrees to care for Dhani, sending her husband on his way to dinner with one of his long-time best friends.

 

The following day George rises just before noon, having stayed up late to pal around with Macca. He runs the few errands on his agenda, including grabbing his family some lunch, and pulls into his driveway back home where he spots the vehicle of none other than Richard Starkey parked outside. He makes his way to his son's room to discover that Uncle Ringo had come to visit the sick young lad (having found out from Paul that Dhani had come down with a bad case of the flu), joking and cheering him up to distract him from his poor state. The two close friends chat for some time in the living room before Ritchie departs, Olivia checking up on Dhani in the meantime. George thanks his wife and dismisses her from her nurse duties, taking on the responsibility himself. He tiptoes to his son's bedroom cautiously and enterd to see that he's been tucked in, the ice pack George had picked up from the store the previous day resting on his forehead, half-lidded eyes trained onto the telly. "Dhani..?" "Oh- *cough*- hey, Dad"

George approaches the bed and sits down carefully, holding a paper bag out to Dhani. "I brought you a burrito- your favorite," he grins down at his son, who takes the bag: "Really? *cough*- Thanks Dad, you're the best!" he says, hands emerging from the blankets to tear into the treat. George stays sat on the bed, determined to spend time with his sick boy and make sure he knows how loved he is. Glancing around the room at the piano and guitars he's bought and played with Dhani, then back to the young man, Ringo's words from earlier echo in his mind: "He's growing up into such a wonderful lad. He's just like you, ye know- good looks and all."

Olivia had always said they were very alike, but he'd usually dismissed the observation... until now. George couldn't help but realize that they were right- though he was but eleven years old Dhani was already becoming a very talented and creative musician, having learned much about music from his dad. He'd certainly taken after his Beatle father in that regard, and they were in fact very similar- not to mention their near identical looks. Sharing his Dad with the world had been difficult and a bit isolating for Dhani despite his many school mates. He admired and looked up to George from a very young age, always striving to be just like him. As Dhani grew up before George's eyes, he became more and more like his father by the day and George was immensely proud.

His train of thought was broken suddenly when Dhani finished the burrito, crumpling the paper bag and tossing it into the bin. He landed the throw, earning a hearty laugh and a high five from his father. He closed his eyes and laid back, George stroking his hair gently, the two of them cherishing this moment of father-son love. "Are you gettin' sleepy, Dhani?" he asked tenderly- his son nodded in response, already drowsy despite the brightness of the late afternoon sun. "Tell you what- I'll play you a lullaby, that way you can rest easier and know that I'm here beside you." "Dad," Dhani chuckled, "aren't I a little too old for that?" he lied, secretly longing for the affectionate gesture. George grabbed his son's acoustic guitar from its stand and begin to tune it: "You're never too old for yer old man's love and attention, eh? Now you just relax, close your eyes, and rest." Dhani didn't protest any further, heeding his father's instructions with a soft smile on his face. With that, George began to play- he chose "Here Comes The Sun," fingers strumming the strings gently and with care, dedicating the sweet words to his beloved son. By the time he was finished Dhani was fast asleep- grin faltering as he drifted off, but still visible on his lips. George placed the guitar back on the stand gently, taking care not to wake the sleeping lad. He smiled to himself, tears welling in his eyes as he turned to admire his son's peaceful face. "I love you, my boy," he whispered, placing a gentle kiss on Dhani's forehead before tip-toeing out of the room and shutting the door cautiously. Back pressed against the wooden door, George let his eyelids fall shut and sighed: "Sweet dreams, Dhani." ♡

[winterscaptain]

waldosia.

Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader

a/n: this is intended to be part of the ajf universe (berry hill section), but also stands alone! berry hill is probably good to read before this one, just for a little context. this takes place a couple of weeks after berry hill, during the last few minutes of lauren, and continues through the end of season six. there will be two more parts of this section!

summary: the team reels from emily’s loss and finds footing as best they can in the new normal, until, of course, the rug is pulled out from under them again.

words: ~3k warnings: canon death, language, more slow burning

berry hill (part 1) | absence (part 3) | mean it (part 4)

masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | requests closed!

There’s nothing worse than the silence of the waiting room. JJ paces back and forth, waiting and watching for movement down the hall. Hotch has been restless as well, sitting and standing and wandering in equal measure. Seaver perches on her chair, her bare toes digging into the rough fabric of the seat. She’s quiet, staring into nothing. 

Dave sits beside her, his elbows on his knees, his hands laced together. His lips never stop moving, and you’re sure he’s praying. It’s odd to see him there without Emily. Much like Derek and Penelope, they usually stick together in tragedy or stress. It’s more than strange to see him without her - almost like missing a limb you didn’t know he had.

 You find your eyes tracking Aaron more often than not. There’s tension in his forehead, and his mouth is tight. Your first instinct is, of course, to soothe his hurt, but there’s so much of your own. He meets your eyes, and you pat the seat next to you. 

With a heavy sigh, he sits down beside you. 

Your voice is quiet, as to not disturb the stillness of the room. “When’s the last time you ate?”

He shakes his head. You reach out and slip your hand into his elbow. He covers it with his own and you lean against each other. Derek and Penelope are in a similar position across from you. She’s tucked under his arm, her hand rubbing back and forth over his chest, still spattered with Emily’s blood. 

You can’t imagine what he’s feeling. If it had been Aaron…

The thought is too unbearable to consider. Aaron’s arm flexes around your hand, and you realized the thought brought your shoulders to your ears. 

“Are you alright?” His voice is the barest whisper.

You nod. “Just thinking of Derek.”

He takes a deep breath. You know he understands. 

‘“I was just...if it had been -”

“Don’t.” His whisper breaks over the word, and his fingers slip between yours around his arm. Your breath catches in the smallest of sobs, and you turn your head into him. 

Hours and hours and hours pass. You think you fall asleep once or twice, but it’s fitful and not at all restful. Hotch is back to pacing - traveling a path from the door to the back room and back to you. 

Eventually, he sits again, leaning against you once more. You can feel the exhaustion radiating from him. At a certain point, you take him under your arm. He leans his head into your shoulder and closes his eyes. You’re certain he doesn’t get any sleep, but you appreciate the effort. It’s all for you. 

JJ returns, and you all straighten, waiting for her to say something. She can’t speak. 

Penelope says something, but you can’t hear her. You can’t hear JJ, though you know her mouth is moving. You sag forward, nearly falling out of your chair. Aaron catches you as he stands, his arms locked around you. 

Spencer rushes past JJ, but she stops him. They speak, but you still can’t hear over the rushing in your ears. You find your feet and turn into Aaron, whose hand presses your head to his chest. Your whole body buzzes with something cold and unpleasant, like a shot straight to your nervous system. You’d take a bullet again, rather than feel this. 

Slowly, he guides you to the chair on the other side of Penelope. You cling to her, Aaron’s jacket still around you. She’s sobbing, and you can’t feel a thing. When you look up again, JJ has her arms around Spencer, who looks much like you. Broken. Soggy. Weak.

Tired eyes track Aaron as he rounds the corner to the back hallway. JJ finds him a minute later, and you still can’t hear them. 

You can’t hear anything. 

+++

The funeral is wretched. When the hearse arrives, you help Aaron with his white pallbearer gloves, buttoning them around his wrists and straightening his tie. Your hands linger on his lapel. His shaky breath shudders through him under your hands, and when you look up at him, his eyes are closed. 

One of his hands covers yours and you grasp his fingers. 

It’s too soon. 

We can’t do this again. 

It’s too soon. 

“There’s never enough time,” he says, almost inaudible. 

You squeeze his hand and release him, smoothing out his coat and collar and the hair at his temples before letting him pass. Derek and Spencer take the first pair of handles, Dave and Anderson the second. Will and Hotch share a look before taking the final pair. 

You offer your arm to JJ, who takes it, and you follow the men across the cemetery. Penelope and Ashley trail behind you, also arm-in-arm. 

Ashley’s been a gift - quiet and warm and observant - through this whole ordeal. You’ve done your best to welcome her into the fold. She doesn’t need to feel like a replacement or a burden. She’s a member of your team. Maybe not a member of your family, but your teammate nevertheless. 

The whole affair is far too quiet, far too solemn, to really be a celebration of Emily’s life. Hotch returns to your side once she’s laid over her grave. He gives you a rose and an arm. You take both, the wool of his coat soft against your fingers. Both he and JJ decided to leave the boys at home, but wouldn’t tell you why. 

Privately, you figure it’s too much for Jack, and it would be best to keep him and Henry together. Two funerals in as many years is too much for anyone, let alone someone just six. Jess is with the boys at JJ’s house. There’s nothing that woman can’t do, and you love her for it. 

Looking around, you realize everyone in attendance is a familiar face. Emily’s mother is the only one you don’t know well, but you’d know a Prentiss anywhere. She dabs at her face with a handkerchief, and a well of spite rises within you. There’s no reason for her to be here.

You’re her family. You will survive her. 

+++

Derek is in shambles. You spend as much time with him as you can, but he’s more withdrawn than you’ve ever seen him. JJ and Spencer have clung together, as have you and Aaron. Dave and Derek aren’t as close, and they’re both wildly independent, so they’ve sort of drifted in Emily’s absence. 

It’s your mission to keep them in one piece - sharing meals and filling empty evenings with movies and poker and company. You find yourself at Dave’s often, with Jack in your lap and Hotch and Derek on either side of you. 

You have rapidly become the team’s backbone - a role you take on with energy and a certain degree of joy. Taking care of them helps you forget your own grief, and never leaves you without company. 

+++

Seaver’s graduation is a spot of joy in an otherwise dreary few months. You shout and whistle at all the appropriate times, remembering all too well what it felt like on the other side. There’s a moment where you share a smile with Hotch, and it almost feels normal. 

“Remember that?” You ask, tipping your chin toward Seaver. She’s beaming, holding her new credentials in her hand as she greets her family. 

He nods. “Do you?”

You snort. “Oh, please. How could I forget?” The day lives rent-free in your mind. Hotch passing you your credentials, badge, and ID tag is a memory that will stay with you forever. 

“Glad I made an impression.” His smirk is well-concealed, but you elbow him in the ribs for good measure. 

“Shut up.” 

He quirks a brow at you, and you grin. 

Almost normal. Almost. 

+++

Your phone wakes you, and you pick it up right away, recognizing your ringtone for Hotch. “Yeah?”

“Hey, it’s me.” 

You flip your bedside lamp on and rub your eyes. You’d be lying if you said you were getting any sleep yourself, and you’re almost relieved you have some kind of company. “Hey, Aaron. What’s up?”

“I’m sorry to wake you -”

“You didn’t.”

He pauses. “Why aren’t you sleeping?”

“I could hazard a guess it’s the same reason as you.” You play with the comforter, the fabric a necessary distraction. “Is Jack still with Jessica?”

“Yeah, for the rest of the week. He’s got a school trip thing, and I didn’t want to leave him if a case came up. They’ll be back from the mountains on Sunday afternoon.” 

Your lower lip disappears between your teeth. “Do you want any company? Sometimes it’s -”

“Please.” He cuts you off, and you snap your mouth shut, already throwing the covers back. 

“I’ll be there soon.” 

The drive is quiet, the Virginia highways barren at nearly two in the morning. You pull into the garage in your usual guest spot and climb the stairs. 

Though you have a key, you knock twice before using it. 

Always good form to warn an armed federal agent when you’re about to enter his home in the goddamn middle of the night. 

He invited you. 

Yeah, still. Would hate to get shot on a night off.

The kitchen light is on when you enter, and you lock the door behind you before checking it out. You leave your shoes at the door and drop your keys in the dish. 

He's standing at the counter, fixing two cups of tea. Wordlessly, he passes one to you. 

You follow him to the bedroom, turning lights off as you go. He slips under the covers, and pats the covers. 

“Thanks for the tea,” you say, settling in beside him. 

It’s become sort of routine. Since Berry Hill, sharing a bed has become far less taboo and far more common. Even when Jack’s home, you’ve set up the couch for yourself before spending the night next to Aaron. That way, you can wake up early and settle in the living room before he wakes up, or make it look like you slept on the couch even if he wakes to find you in his father’s room. 

The element of surprise is always a gift - Jack is more than thrilled to find you whenever you spend the night. He doesn’t know to ask questions, and really you aren’t sure what you’d say even if he did. 

Aaron would probably have the words. He’s good at that kind of stuff. 

You sit together in silence, sipping out of your mugs and enjoying the quiet darkness. When you’re done, you leave it on the coaster on your bedside - well, on the bedside table. 

“Can’t sleep?” You ask. 

Aaron’s been finished for a while, his empty mug on his table. He’s already settled in, laying on his side toward you with his hand tucked under his cheek. “Not tonight.” 

“Is it Emily?” 

He nods. “Yeah, something like that.” There’s more, but he’s never been too good at articulating his feelings. You’ve learned it’s best to just keep him company and not push too hard. 

You slide down, bringing the covers up to your chin. “Come here.” 

He smiles in the dark and wraps you in his arms. It’s already easier to close your eyes, and you know you won’t be half as scared to confront what you find behind them. His breath fans across the top of your head, much more steady than when you arrived. “Thank you.” 

“Of course. Sleep tight, Aaron.” 

He tucks his face into your hair, and after a few moments, you hear his breath slow and even out. You lean back, finding his face completely relaxed. 

That’s better. 

With him asleep, you’re able to tune out your thoughts in favor of his heartbeat against your cheek. 

+++

Jack is long asleep when it’s your turn to need company. You’re on the couch, wrapped in Aaron’s arms, sobbing into his chest. Earlier, you found a bank of recorded shows in your cable box that you were waiting to watch with Emily. The realization that you’d never be able to watch them with her knocked you out at the knees, and there was nothing you could do but sit on the floor and cry. 

When you caught your breath, you called Aaron and took a cab over to the apartment. Your tears didn’t let up for a single moment on the way there, and started anew when you saw him. 

You couldn’t speak, but he just led you to the couch and let you curl up against him. With his cheek against your hair, he rubs your back until you can finally breath without hiccuping. 

“What was it?”

“The shows.” You sniff, and wipe your nose on your sleeve. “I was saving shows to watch with her. They didn’t stop recording. I didn’t think to -” A fresh wave starts, and you tuck your head back into his shoulder. You do your best not to wail, keeping quiet for Jack’s sake, “I didn’t think to stop recording them. I don’t even really like them, but we always watched together.” 

His next words are familiar to you. “It’s all about the routine.” 

Those are the same words you used after Haley died. One of his first breakdowns after her death came when he was packing Jack’s bag for the week, getting ready to drop him off at her place. When he realized there was nowhere to go, nowhere to take him, it knocked the life out of him just like your shows did tonight. 

“Once you find something to fill the space,” you’d told him, “things get a lot easier to manage.” 

And it was true. That was the first weekend he called you to come spend the day with Jack, and your time together patched some of the holes. 

He squeezes you to him. “Do you want to find something to watch together? We can start a new show or maybe movie nights with Jack? Maybe with Will, JJ, and Henry? What do you think?”

You give him a watery smile. “Yeah, I’d like that.” 

+++

Andy Swan is a trip and a half, and you find yourself liking her a little more than you thought you would. She and Aaron have a great deal of history, and you enjoy the way they give each other a hard time - pushing and pulling for control of a stressful investigation. They’re different, but highly complementary in their leadership. 

It almost reminds you of your relationship with Derek - mutual respect in droves, but a supreme lack of patience, and a little more good humor than is actually necessary. 

It’s only when the case is over that shit hits the fan. 

You’re all in the conference room following the successful completion of the case. Doyle, of course, has been on your minds since Emily’s death, and you spend at least fifteen hours a week maintaining the not-so-sanctioned investigation into his whereabouts. 

But this wasn’t about Doyle. 

“I’ve been assigned to a joint task force in Pakistan for an indefinite amount of time.” 

The news knocks the breath out of you, and your eyes flicker around the table. Everyone is just as shocked as you are, though you’d like to imagine the short-circuit you’re experiencing is all your own. 

“What do you mean?” The question leaves your lips before you can stop it, and Hotch’s brown eyes meet yours. There’s an apology in them. 

“Tomorrow, I leave for Pakistan. I’m not sure how long I will be gone. Derek will take over as Acting Unit Chief in the meantime.” 

Derek’s eyebrows shoot to his hairline. “You’re kidding.” 

“You carried off the job very well last year, and I have no doubt you will have the same amount of success in my absence.” 

Derek looks like he wants to speak again, but refrains. 

“I understand this is less than convenient. You’ll all have the declassified brief in your inboxes by the end of the day today with more information about the transition. You’re all dismissed for the day.” With a final nod, he walks out of the conference room, leaving you all slack-jawed and more than a little confused. 

JJ’s eyes meet yours, and you shrug. You ask, “Has he said anything about this to you?”

“I’ve heard approximately nothing about it,” she replies, peering down the hall. 

Goddamn you, Hotchner. 

He’s packing up his briefcase when you pass his office. You don’t stop, sitting down at your desk. You’re surprised frost doesn’t rise from the ground at your feet.

There’s a moment where he stops at your desk on the way out of the bullpen, but you just stare at him. He opens his mouth as if to speak, then closes it. After a moment, he finally says, “Jack is with Jessica tonight.” 

You have no idea what your face looks like, but it’s enough to drop his shoulders and send him on his way, defeated. 

+++

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[strangerays]

Nothing in Particular Update #2

It’s the Nothing and Particular and Everything update part two: the electric booglaloo. This one is long, so strap in.

It’s been a while since I wrote an update for this story. To be honest, this one gave me a lot of stress, but here I am! Writing this story feels like it is going very slow. I keep telling myself I’ve made a lot of progress (which is true, I have) but for some reason it doesn’t feel like I have? This is likely just my own insecurity. To be frank, I can’t believe I’m still writing this story. If you had told me in February that I’d still be writing this when the weather got warm, I would have laughed.

I am SO excited that I will finally be able to focus on writing now that I’m out of school. I’m afraid to speak the rough deadline that I’ve given myself for this story (the end of August-early September) but now that I’ve spoken it into existence, I hope I can finish! (I hope I can stop watching dumb videogame playthroughs and listening to The Magnus Archives and get something done)

Here is a link to the story introduction and previous update!

TAGLIST (ask to be +/-); @wannabeauthorzofija @a-completely-normal-writer @baguettethebooklover​ @corkytheguar @writeherewaiting

STORY CHANGES/THOUGHTS/IDEAS: 

Here is a big one: I’ve been trying to write this story for myself. I started writing Ray’s story from a place that was personal to me, but I feel like, as that part of myself has begun to heal, I’ve started to think about what a reader would want out of the story. I’m realizing that this is my story so it has to be what I want. Drafts are drafts for a reason, so I’m going to try to get better at letting myself explore what is fun to me.

I always thought I was a discovery writer (I still sort of think I am) but as I’ve finished small sections of the story, I am finding that it’s very helpful to do a rough outline of scenes in upcoming chapters. (I also recommend turning to this if something doesn’t work and you need to retrace your steps!) Just helps me feel more organized!

Jude’s character has got to be one of the most difficult personalities I’ve ever written. Putting her beside Ray just makes it harder. Where Ray is secretive and keeps to herself, Jude is ready to unpack her entire life’s story to anyone. I find that I really have to slow down when writing their interactions. I know this is going to be nowhere near perfect in the first draft, but I think it is a main contributor to my slow writing.

I really like this little narrative I’ve created in the background of the main plot with Ray and Lonan. I love writing these scenes because it’s a way for me to use Lonan when he’s not actively with Ray and to show why Ray is predetermined about things at certain points. Also I love their friendship so much <3

CONGRATULATIONS TO ME on starting to read again because I forgot how much of a help reading other people’s stories can be when you’re struggling with your own oml

I now have a set timeline for the story! Takes place ~4-5 months.

I did that thing where you write a letter from the characters’ perspectives and that was kind of fun

Also just for fun I thought I’d add in that I spent an hour and a half last week filling up a page in my sketchbook with diagrams of the plot. It feels good to be a mad scientist

EXCERPTS UNDER THE CUT!

*At this point, I’m only sharing writing that I am really proud of in order not to spoil the story! This is because I am unsure whether I want to publish this story someday. With that said, that does NOT give you permission to steal my ideas!

CHAPTER: NIGHT CRIES

#1

In the last week of summer, I did everything I could to avoid post-vacation blues. I rode my bike along the gravel roads with no destination, wore my dark sunglasses to people-watch, and fed salami to the minnows that floated on the cusps of boulders. Usually, I sat still for so long that my elbows turned a deep shade of red and the blood in my toes buzzed.

New pockets seemed to open up in Point Blink every day. And with them, came new people. Most of them were older – a middle aged woman who caked her lipstick on, an uncle estranged from his brother, a couple who had miscarried. I hadn’t forgotten about the kids at Mothouse. It was impossible not to think about them. It wasn’t just that I’d never seen them before.

#2

The girl’s limp cigarette bled a trail of smoke that seeped into my Vans. My shirt folded like skin over my bed post. Haunted the room – foiled my mauve sheets and teased my locks. Swept the curtains apart and heated the oak floor. Beams of moonlight leapt to my bookcases; highlighted the posters from various podcasts and bands that I listened to. Wind whistled when I was too still. She forced me to look outside, onto the dark cul-de-sac lit by the reflections of forming rain puddles. No matter whether I sat at my desk or burrowed under my sheets, I felt out of place. She made my bedroom louder. She made my bedroom quieter.

I decided it would probably be best if I never saw her again.

To be honest, I don’t remember much about writing this chapter because it was over a month ago (sorry) but I’m still quite happy with the prose! This comes in after Ray sees Jude for the first time at Mothouse. Based on a first impression, decides that she might want be friends with Jude.

CHAPTER: SORRY

#1 

If you spend any long amount of time with someone, you’ll become a thief to their behaviors. If I stared long enough, trees began to replace all of the people we’d ever seen. Oaks had roots that serpentined the ground like children splashing in the bay, pines with needles like spindly old hands, maples with hollows like watchful eyes – all things Lonan had taught me to observe.

CHAPTER: GHOSTS

Then there was the sea – violent and knowing as it romped within bays and alcoves. She had eaten me many times before, both my father and Lonan too. Gulped them as if they were shining plastic wrappings left behind after a meal. I spited her for inviting me once again. I reached up again to grapple with the next rung. It twisted and offered a low whistle.

In these two chapters, Ray is on a photography trip with her class. This is the first time she’s been on this annual trip without Lonan. She left that morning with a goal of being independent and learning to get on with one of the only people she has felt close to. I realize now that the Ghost excerpt sort of sounds like her dad and Lonan have drowned?? Which was not my intention??

CHAPTER: A DIVINE INTERVENTION

#1

“Do you believe in ghosts?” A raspy voice teased from behind me. Cigarette smoke tickled the words, like they were stuck together with jelly inside of her. The question wasn’t particularly calming, but it strengthened my grip on reality. As if the foiled leaves, bark, and dandelions had sprung from the ground and begun to float, they came crashing back down.

I was made of stone.

“I’m not a ghost,” Jude said. “If I was, a ladder would be a pretty counteractive way to outrun me. I could just float up there and haunt you.”

“Maybe you’re a ghost,” she asked, her voice distant.

I shifted my grasp up and down the sides of the ladder. “What?”

“Don’t you believe in ghosts?”

I was reading back some of Ray and Jude’s conversation and there are so many snippets of dialogue that make me laugh because I totally forgot I wrote them... but UGhhH I don’t know if I want to share them because I don’t know whether or not I want to try and publish the story someday. Speaking of that, it’s sort of because it’s so personal to me? I don’t know (this is for future me to pursue) Honestly though, reading these back has made me really happy :)

#2

I wanted to shake her by the shoulders. She acted as though Point Blink could breathe – as though corpses in the cemetery might pull the grass away like dead skin, neighbors would draw blades, and blood-salt would stain her clothes rather than that from the sea. “Trust me, they’ll forgive you. But, I’m just saying, most people around here don’t care nearly as much as you think so. Most of them are way older anyways, so they’re tired of us.”

“Is that you complimenting yourself?” Jude asked.

“Not intentionally,” I said, “but I will take it.”

She laughed. “You shouldn’t be so nice to strangers.”

I wasn’t trying to be. I just didn’t think I wanted her to dislike me.

#3

“I don’t think it’s a bad thing or a good thing,” Jude said. “Being good gets you tucked into a thousand different memories. Being good makes you live a lifetime.”

I almost laughed, but then I wondered what I was to her now. “I don’t talk to lots of people.”

“Sometimes there aren’t many people to talk to. But I thought you would have loads of friends.”

I wasn’t sure what to say to that. “I thought you would too.”

Alarm like grief lit her eyes, but she laughed. I did too.

“You hardly know me,” she said quietly.

Then the girls explore some old newspapers and letters in a fire tower! Spooky fun!

CHAPTER: YOU LET THIS HAPPEN

This isn’t a major spoiler as it’s literally in the blurb I wrote, but Ray and Jude are caught (targeted..??)  in a fire. Ray is brought back to a field where she is questioned.

CHAPTER: NOTHING HAPPENS

He was quiet for several moments while he painted a picture with what little details I had given him, then said, “It’s unfair. I think that’s why it hurts.”

“Because we almost got hurt?”

“No. Because it came true.”

His gentle, ragged voice made me think I could tell him anything. Sometimes, I think that, even then, he knew I left something out.

Ray talks to Lonan after the fire... She’s being a bit dishonest about what actually happened.

CHAPTER: WHY NOT

I remember how the barest amount of red light glared across Lonan’s entire scalp and washed his boyish curls magenta from the roots out. When Jude leaned back on the counter, she melded into the darkness.

This chapter is just part of the narrative that I created with Ray and Lonan’s friendship. There isn’t much I want to spoil from it, but I liked this paragraph!

CHAPTER: INEVITABLE

“We didn’t do anything,” I said.        

“Someone did. Why won’t you believe me?”

 “I think I would remember whether or not someone was there with us,” I said, “even if we didn’t have the picture.”

This was untrue. I hung lots of photos in my room. A long time would pass before I went to a restaurant again, or a specific coven on one of the beaches, or an outfit that I wore, and I would look into one of my pictures and remember it, and then I would be quite angry with myself that I had almost forgotten that thing forever.

“I don’t think you understand what I mean,” Jude said. I didn’t like the way she’d lowered her voice. She sounded different every time I saw her. She reached out her arm so our photos were side by side and our fingers were almost touching. “I don’t think you want to.”

Ray finds herself alone in the school’s dark room with Jude. Based on the contents of one of her photos, she tries to convince Ray that there is more to the fire than what meets the eye.

CHAPTER: (this one is untitled)

I didn’t mind that he followed me everywhere. Even when he was quiet, I didn’t find it strange to be around him. We sat silently through films and went on walks. Once, he had fallen asleep while watching The Iron Giant in my bed. I didn’t know if I should wake him up once it ended. I tried not to stare at him. He’d rolled onto his side and bundled himself in one of my blankets covered in stars up to his shoulders so only his small face poked out like a baby owl’s. His soft breath messed his dirty gold coils. They were at their longest. Except for the ebbing light from a candle on my desk, my house was asleep – Lonan needed to go home.

For the first time, I wondered if anyone cared where he was.

Another small part of the little friendship narrative! (This really is the part of the story where I get nostalgic for my childhood, isn’t it) Ray starts to discover more about Lonan’s home life in this part of the story, but there’s not much that I think I want to reveal about that for now.

CHAPTER: THE CRUX OF IT

Why did I feel so paranoid? I found myself staring out the window, into the film of blue that the late sun shown onto the grass and trying to remember what summer felt like.

My main problem was that I didn’t know how to talk to Jude unless it was about Sugarfell. I ran from the hush of cigarette smoke behind closing doors and heard her loud voice in conversations. Even though there might have still been a part of me that wanted to be friends with her, I didn’t have much to base that feeling off of. I could have spent hours clicking the little pieces of her that I had together, but the crux of it was that I would never know Jude unless I forced myself to.

For some reason, that really scared me.

I spent all week trying to think of what to say to her. By Friday afternoon, I still had nothing.

I left off writing with Ray actively avoiding Jude’s little investigation into the arsonist. Ray doesn’t want to be involved in this because she feels that it will throw her sense of normalcy off course. She really just wants to learn how to adapt to a life without her best friend. (It doesn’t help that she’s got fresh trauma)

What will Ray decide? I don’t know. We shall see. (just kidding I know)

Sorry this update was longer! I think I would like to start updating more often than once a month just because they would be shorter and those of you reading this won’t forget what happened in the last update. There are thousands and thousands of words that didn’t show up in this update because - like I said - I don’t know whether I want to publish this story ever?? I’ll probably talk more about this in a separate update.

Thank you so much to those of you who read about my story! I hope you enjoy it!

:)

p.s. btw I now have a myWriteClub account! You can check it out here and stalk me as I tragically fail my writing goals!

[arahul-abyssia]

Looks like it's September again (already, somehow), so that means that it's Nintember again, which means I'll be writing again! Same dealio as last time, one story per five prompts, up to six writings total. (And I'll be putting most of each under a cut, because mobile users can't skip posts)

And for my first entry for @starprincesshlc and @jklantern 's wonderful little event, I shall once again be attempting to twist some modicum of continuity, characterization, and canon-compliance out of a world that clearly cares scarcely for all three.

The Great Act

~~ Art, Green, Dizzy, Fire, Strength ~~

It was the loud buzzing of his phone’s alarm clock that dragged him from his slumber. He awoke to find himself sprawled across the couch, which was in no way long enough for his lanky body and spindly legs. As he blearily reached out and slapped at the coffee table, hoping to find the rude device by pure luck, he also blearily reached out and slapped at his memories, trying to figure out what series of events had led him there. For a moment, they floated just out of reach, and then suddenly flooded back to him all at once.

Oh. Right. It’s all over.

Another sporting event had come and gone, and as usual, in spite of all the effort he put into training and practice, he had ultimately lost to the same people he always did. No matter the sport, no matter the plan, no matter the time, they always won. And why shouldn’t they? The heroes always win in the end, always securing victory against the villains.

And he was one of them: the purple-clad counterpart, mirror, and supposed rival to one of the land’s most revered figures. Meant to oppose, and meant to lose.

He was Waluigi.

The name still sounded absurd to him. He had no idea how two men whose names were ‘Mario’ and ‘Wario’ and who naturally served as near-perfect foils of each other, had managed to meet and form such a publicizable rivalry without any deliberate effort, but such was the case. However, the notion that the brother of one had his own doppelganger in the brother of the other (or cousin, they never did manage to keep that story straight), with the same dichotomies of name, body, and personality? That was simply and utterly ridiculous, far beyond even the realm of ‘too good to be true’. And yet, if anyone had caught on, they hadn’t made it known to him.

Lost in thought and routine, he realized he had reached and opened his wardrobe, where numerous sets of that purple hat, shirt, and overalls were staring him in the face. In a sickening sense, they were the centerpiece of a great work of art, the fabrication that was his entire public existence, the character that he and Wario had constructed so that he might further be the ‘evil counterpart’ to everyone’s favorite red-clothed fire-throwing hero. Mario was stout and a bit fat, Wario was stouter and fatter; Luigi was tall and a bit thin, so Waluigi was taller and thinner. Mario had an M as his emblem, Wario had an inverted M; Luigi had an L, so Waluigi had an inverted L. To any casual outside observer, it was perfect.

But unlike Mario and Wario, whose rivalry had been formed in their youth, Waluigi had never even met Luigi until Wario had made him his sporting partner. The most he had known of the legendary Mario Brothers was just that: they were legends, for the countless adventures and quests they went on. In truth, despite how much he played it up during each and every game, he bore no true grudge against the man he was supposed to hate; Wario had, for a time, convinced him that Luigi’s presence in the public eye was somehow detracting from his own, but he had long since realized that that wasn’t the case; in fact, it often seemed like Luigi himself was being snubbed by the public, with the vast majority of the glory placed upon Mario, no matter how much Luigi contributed.

And yet, despite his existence being little more than a convenient story, despite the stress that constantly acting like a jerk brought, and despite always losing at the games no matter what, none of it brought him any sadness: for all its ups and downs, he felt himself to be rather good at keeping up the act, and the sports were, at the end of the day, still fun.

So why do I still feel so… bad?

Routine and thought had once more brought Waluigi elsewhere, and he found himself once more on his couch, now dressed in his usual outfit, with some sort of drink in his hands, probably coffee or tea; he didn’t care to determine which at that moment. His eyes casually wandered around the room as he brought the mug to his lips.

Then, just as the liquid touched his tongue--apparently he had managed to make tea out of coffee beans--the answer came to him. All across the room’s walls and shelves was sporting equipment of every sort--tennis racquets, shin-guards, helmets, golf clubs, old kart wheels, giant dice blocks, a probably excessive number of deflated balls--and absolutely no other sort of decoration. He leaned forward to place the mug on the table, and in doing so noticed his gloved hands and violet sleeves. Who wore the outfit of a character that they supposedly were not, every single day? Apparently, him.

He didn’t do anything else. He had let the character that was Waluigi consume his life to the point that had no idea who he was outside of it. He had nothing that he did when sports weren’t involved. Wario didn’t dedicate all his time to his rivalry; he owned an entire video game company--an unstable and poorly-run one, certainly, but it was nevertheless another use of his time. Mario and Luigi had their own grand adventures, of course, which is also what Peach, the Yoshis, Bowser, and his horde of minions were all typically involved in.

They all had lives outside of the games, and what did he do during the interim times? He either tried to practice, on his own, in the few suitable locations that he could find when the world was arranged for adventure, in a vain attempt to not lose as bad when the next game came around, or he wallowed in his home, doing absolutely nothing of any import.

But what could he do? Waluigi was never anything beyond a fabricated counterpart to both Wario and Luigi, but he could not remember, even slightly, what or who he was before he embraced that role. That nearly all of his memories prior to his first meeting with his partner were lost to him, was, he shuddered to admit, rather unsettling. Not even his old name--if he even had had one, he could not recall anymore--would reveal itself to him, and it was not as though he could simply find out through some external means: he was never the best at record-keeping, and to really sell their act, he had had his name legally changed to “Waluigi” and all references to his previous identity erased.

He shook his head, attempting to clear his mind of thoughts. There was little sense in worrying and fretting over who he was in that moment--the chance of any sort of useful epiphany emerging from it was even slimmer than he was.

Ugh… better just try to distract myself…

The first suitable option to catch his eye was the TV remote lying on the table. He quickly grabbed it and flicked on the set, and was immediately assaulted by the cheery enunciation of the Lakitu news anchors on the aptly-named Lakitu News Channel. He recalled that that was the channel he had left the set on last night, after he had gotten quite fed up with the incessant and inane blathering about the events of that day’s final matches, and it took only about five seconds to figure out that they were still on that topic. Scowling, he began flipping through the various channels available, hoping to find something interesting enough to block out the melancholic thoughts that were biting at his mind, like a hundred tiny Muncher and Nipper Plants.

After a painfully long series of more newsrooms--all talking about the exact same thing, of course--and unappealing shows--Half of these are for children and other half would just make me feel even worse!--he stumbled across some sort of advice segment hosted by a Birdo (was it the Birdo? He couldn’t tell). With absolutely no better options, he resigned himself to sit back and listen halfheartedly to whatever trite tips she tried to provide; maybe they’d be amusing enough to at least give him a small chuckle.

“I hope you all enjoyed our lovely guest! Now, before we move on to the submissions from all you wonderful viewers, I’d like to reiterate some old, but tried and true, advice, which I hold very close to my heart.”

Oh, here we go…

“Something which you probably hear very often is to always be yourself, or to always be true to yourself…”

Feh, I can think of several people who definitely shouldn’t do that…

“But it may be that you don’t like who ‘yourself’ is, or perhaps you don’t know what self you even have to be true to…”

Hah! As if… uh…

“And to that end, I’d like to say that there is always room for change. There’s always a way to make something new of yourself, to alter the parts of you that you want to, to become a different, better person. ‘Yourself’ can be whoever you want it to be; never are you locked along one unending bleak path. Try new things! Experiment! Don’t let yourself be trapped in an endless cycle.

“Believe me when I say I have personal experience with this: I’ve done so many different things over a rather short period of time, trying to find what I wanted to do with myself, who I wanted to be. Even now, I’m still not entirely sure if this is my supposed ‘calling’…! But I never got anywhere by doing nothing: it was on me to break out of my shell and search for myself, and now it’s on you to do the same.

“You don’t have to begin drastically, with a flying leap of faith--I think we’ve all walked over enough cliffs by now to know that!--but, if this is the sort of mindset you find yourself in, why not try taking some small steps today? It could be as simple as wearing a new outfit, or talking to someone new, or partaking in a new pastime.”

Birdo continued to elaborate on her point, but Waluigi--or, whoever he was beneath that--had stopped listening. He wanted to make some snark about what she said; he wanted to rationalize how what she described couldn’t ever apply to him; but, he found that he couldn’t. He had attempted to follow similar advice long in the past, and failed, but something about the way she phrased it, managed to affect him more deeply than he had thought possible. It was as though her words had dug beneath his shields and layers and pierced something somewhere in his core; pulled a lever, turned a handle, flipped a switch.

A strange sensation washed over him, one he could only describe as a blazing fire--nay, an inferno--igniting within him. He had felt the touch of flame countless times over the years, but not even the innumerable rage-fueled volleys he had endured, all combined into a single force, could compare to what now burned in his soul.

He leapt up from the sofa and ran to his bathroom. Staring at him from within the mirror was a character, a costume, a facade. It was not who he was. He grabbed a towel, dampened it, and proceeded to scrub away the pink paint on his nose; Wario and Waluigi’s noses were defined by that bright rosy color, but his was not. He then tore open a cabinet and grabbed his bottle of mustache product; normally, it was used to create the signature angular mustache of Waluigi, but today, it would shape the hairs into something softer and curlier. Whether that was what he would ultimately like did not matter: he was experimenting! He was changing himself!

Though the man that stared back at him from the glass now bore a much different visage, it was still framed by the purple cap and shirt, yellow emblem, and dark indigo overalls. He tore them off, then opened his wardrobe once more and threw all the copies of that same outfit to the ground. Hidden behind them were old clothes that he hadn’t worn for many, many years. He grabbed the first garments he saw--a casual dress shirt and gaudy neon-yellow shorts. Did those go well together? It didn’t matter. Without hesitating, he put them on.

He quickly glanced in the mirror again: the ensemble was nearly complete, but just missing one last touch. He thought on it for a moment, then stricken with brilliance, hurried to his modest backyard, where the roses he performed with in the games grew. He plucked one from its bush and affixed it to his hair, then ran back to the mirror to observe himself one more time.

His mismatched get-up would likely garner many stares from others, though he wouldn’t mind them at all; if he had anything in common with Waluigi, it was that they both loved being the center of attention. Even still, that’s not what mattered. A whole new day lay before him, a whole new day to be someone new, someone different; to move on from the cycle he had been stuck in, to take a whole new step forward.

He returned to the sitting room and turned off the television, then went to the front door. Taking a deep breath, he turned the handle, threw it open, and marched into the daylight, the daylight which felt far fresher and warmer than it had in a long time, though even it held no candle to the flame that continued to blaze within him.

Ready or not, world; here I come!!

[yakuzacasual]

I need you to know I read that Daigo post liek 6 times in the past 12 hours. Imagine Daigo going about his business when he remembers something he said and he just out of fight or flight responses crushes whatever is in his hand (usually a pen or box of cigs) or if he’s friends with the person, they might lowly say one of his pick up lines to him in his slurred tone and he’s hit w flashbacks that make him wanna run. Any thoughts? I have so many ideas if you ever want to discuss🥰

PREFACE

Good day, we continue on our endeavour to bully Daigo.

Idk how I feel about the result of this one, especially since I was writing it during a lecture and half-alseep, but it definitely was fun. The idea was *tries to correctly spell out gorgeous a few times because life imitates memes* gorgeous and I am forever in your debt. Hope you’re having an amazing day!

DAIGO GETTING TEASED FOR HIS “PHASE”

This scenario is kind of a follow up to THIS.

With how dignified and confident he acts, everyone instantly assumes that Daigo Dojima is constantly at the top of his game. What they don’t realize is that underneath that very well-maintained facade he’s been keeping up for years now, there is still a simple, self-loathing man, forever burdened by all kinds of stupid shit he has done in his youth. Being a god awful flirt is one of them, as previously explored, and now that he’s got a living, breathing proof of this past misbehaviour by his side, controlling the sudden waves of shame has gotten harder than ever. You have seen him at the pinnacle of his worst, at the lowest he could sink with the slurred flirting and wandering hands. And yet, after the somewhat weird reconciliation, you’ve still accepted him as your friend. He regrets that now, albeit only a bit.

At times he just randomly remembers bits and pieces by himself. Maybe it’s a box of cigs that reminds him of a brand he used to smoke back in the day, maybe he accidentally stumbles upon a nice, white jacket and his mind wanders to the puffy monster he once owned? All sorts of things may end up being his spark, even most random ones that none would ever suspect. The result, however, is always the same. It’s always a raging fire inside of his brain - a scene straight from Spongebob really, if you know, you know - and a look of absolute apathy on his tired face, as he takes out his embarrassment-turned-anger on whatever he has on hand. The cig box? Squished. The pencil? Broken in half. The phone? Cracked and his hand is now bleeding, stabbed with small glass bits and he doesn’t even realize it until someone points it out. Please help this man. The reaction is but an instinct and Daigo doesn’t control it well, if at all. He’d literally bend a road sign if that’s the closest thing he has. No aggression against living beings, though. Should he only have, say, a stray dog at hand, he’s going to gently pet the heck out of the lucky pup and, as he discovers, it’s even more therapeutic that way. He may even adopt a few strays into his office, without Kashiwagi knowing of course, and treat them like royalty while they help him unwind. 

Sometimes you take it upon yourself to tease him mercilessly, to the point where you’ve almost perfected your impression of his broody self. And by gods, nothing gets his goat quite like this does. He knows you don’t mean anything by it, you don’t do it out of spite, you just want to get a reaction. Still, it immediately awakens the fight or flight response and you do not wish to fight him. The flight response, though? Probably exactly the thing you would expect and want, which is Daigo’s ears going red - see, the emo haircut would’ve come in handy now, aye? - some nervous line barked right back at you, one that most likely makes no sense and then just one spin of the heel and he is GONE. With the long strides of his legs he is out of sight and out of mind the moment you blink and you can be sure he’ll stay away for the rest of the day, seeking for ways to alleviate the stress you’ve inflicted upon him. Now, all of the family is giving you nasty looks, knowing very well what went down, again, and expecting to end up as the collateral damage of the boss being in a bad mood, again. Should you make the teasing your MO, you’re going to be both the most beloved person amongst the lower underlings - your guts are just something else, they concur - but also the number one public enemy of anyone working directly under Daigo. And of that he is well aware, so he makes absolutely sure that no one tries anything stupid.

In his free time, he is trying to prepare for the future instances of your teasing. He has full out conversations with himself, preparing  for a variety of different things you may such just so that he has a properly witty response, while also sounding like he just came up with it on the spot. He puts a lot of effort into playing out the scenarios, sometimes even getting some closest friends to support him. Unfortunately, it hardly ever pays off. Most of the time you just end up surprising him to the point where he forgets his lines and becomes a bumbling mess instead. It makes him ditch the initial idea of training all together, grow a few more silver strands and also form a fresh furrow on his forehead.

While it may not seem like it, Daigo is not mad at you for the teasing. If anything, he considers it to be a good way to get over his anxiety and slowly stop caring about the stuff that he can’t really change. You may want to gift him with things such as these anti-stress balls that you can squeeze in your hands, he’ll be absolutely elated to know you care, but do be prepared to have the ball jokingly thrown at you whenever you start your shenanigans again. With time and practice he may even join the banter, maybe even have some competitions for the worst pickup lines amongst his closest friends or best impressions of himself. In general, thanks to this influence, he starts to embrace the weird phase he’s always been ashamed of as an integral part of who he is today and learns how to change it into a joke. He won’t stop occasionally crushing shit, though.

[victoriareyloficlists]

Engagements, Weddings, and Arranged Marriages

Updated 15 November 2021

Rest of the Masterlist.

(take me to) the lakes by akosmia (AO3 2021  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: It’s a quiet Saturday morning and they've been dating only for two months, when Ben slips and calls her wife.) A Dog is a Man's Best Friend (and also a force for fate) by Impossiblefangirl0632 (AO3 2020  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben is dog-sitting for Poe and everything is going fine until BB sees a rabbit and runs off. Rey finds a muddy, but happy dog and takes him home with her. She's going to turn him into the shelter, she really is but before she can she runs into a very stressed, very annoyed Ben who accuses her of dognapping.) A Doggy Intervention by corpse_wife (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Interventions come in many different forms. Whether it's time, a place or occasionally, people, it's up to the universe to decide when two soulmates meet. In Ben Solo's case, the universe had a cruel sense of humor. For his intervention comes in the form of a German Shepard and his graceless brunette owner. Two things happened in the short span of a minute: 1.) Ben got tackled to the ground 2.) The dog had just swallowed his wedding rings) A Marriage of Rebellion by Zoa (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Historical AU, Quick Synopsis: Historical Arranged Marriage- Rey is a princess and must choose a prince to marry. Solely (at first) to spite her grandfather, she chooses the grandson of his old rival, Prince Ben Solo.) A merry Reylo Christmas by MeadowHayle (AO3 2018  Rated M Complete, 24 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey and Ben are roommates and celebrate the most wonderful time of the year together. For Rey it's the first real Christmas with friends and family and she wants to make up for all the things she missed as a child. Ben tries to help as best as possible, giving her a Christmas experience she deserves.) A Night at the Opera by orphan_account (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Historical AU, Quick Synopsis: Prince Benjamin is resistant to his arranged marriage to the Palpatine heir. ) A Scandalous Match by Musickat18 (AO3 2019  Rated T Complete, 18 Chapters, Regency AU, Quick Synopsis: Despite a very poor first impression, Rey has found herself forced to wed the mysterious and intimidating Ben Solo, Duke of Ren. The marriage is deemed highly scandalous by society as Rey is no more than an orphan living on the good graces of Mr. Unkar Plutt. Rey, now Duchess of Ren, finds herself forced into a role for which she has no training, with a husband who does not even seem to like her.) Adoration of One Rey of Light by stellarnightmage (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Since she was born, Rey Palpatine has been betrothed to Ben Solo, someone she's never met, and who's 10 years older than her. She hates the very idea. That is until they meet when she's 19 and Rey finds that it's hard to hate someone when they seem to adore you. It was her birthday, and the contract dictated she had to meet her husband-to-be on this god-forsaken day. She’d rather not ever see him ever. Or marry him. Or whatever.) All I Need for Christmas is You by Atchamb7 (AO3 2019  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben wants to make this Christmas special. He finds a rare toy that Rey has wanted since she was a child (baby doll) and attached to the doll is a ring.) an unexpected alliance by antematter (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, 6 Chapters, Regency AU, Quick Synopsis: A Regency ABO story in which Captain Kylo Ren dallies with Miss Rey Niima, and she accidentally mates him.) And Closer Still Is Never Enough by lovefrompluto (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Historical AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben has an arranged marriage to Rey but what happens when he starts to court the wife who is a stranger to him?) And Your Kingdom Too by vuas (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Fantasy AU, Quick Synopsis: Her kingdom sells her hand the moment his thunderous black horse arrives at the border. Nobody fights for her honor like in the stories she’s read. There is no duty-bound, brave knight in possession of sparkling eyes coming to save her. There’s only the Red King and his bloody sword.) as luck would have it by prncesselene (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 16 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When a case of violent food poisoning ruins Rose and Hux’s honeymoon plans, who better to take their place at a pre-paid Hawaiian beach resort than the Maid of Honor and Best Man? Sure, it’ll take some maneuvering, but a free vacation is a free vacation. They just have to pretend to be devoted newlyweds for a bit to enjoy it. There’s only one glaring issue, really: they can’t stand each other.) baby fever by cursebreakker (AO3 2021  Rated E Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey’s boss kylo basically has a heart of stone, he literally has a reputation in the offices as 'Satan’s right hand'. That is until Rey’s two year old daughter toddles up to him outside of work one day and he just completely melts.) Baby, It's Just Biology by Polkadotdotdot (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 32 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: For Rey Jackson, trying to finish your degree in Biomedical Science at Harvard is difficult enough when you're one of the few Omegas on campus. It's made even more difficult when your Professor is the one to trigger your heat. You can't help it, it's just your biology. An Alpha Omega love story.) before we go. by AquaWolfGirl (AO3 2021  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Medieval AU, Quick Synopsis: On the eve before the battle against their enemies, General Rey Jakksun seeks out General Kylo Ren. There are others she could have gone to in their camp, sure, but of all the men there, she decides to ask him to teach her pleasure -- something she's never known and wants to experience once before she dies in the morning.) Bespoke by fettuccine_alfreylo (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, 12 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When new stylist Rey Jackson receives a request to dress the hottest (and most unfashionable) new actor in Hollywood, she gets a lot more than she bargained for. Mentally AND physically. Because Ben Solo is freaking massive.) But I Do by SpaceWaffleHouseTM (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, 8 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey and Ben get married at the same venue at the same time. When both are left at the altar, they decide to flip life off and marry each other.) Butter Crisp Sandwich by DarkMage13 (AO3 2021  Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: “Mr, I insist you join me for a tea party today, at precisely noon. My teddy will be there.” Ben glanced at the boring clock on the wall. Ten minutes until noon. He swallowed in fear. There was no escape.  Or: Ben Solo cannot say no to an adorable hazel-eyed little girl's request for tea.) Compass by SpaceWaffleHouseTM (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Historical AU, Quick Synopsis: Kira is not in the business of harboring fugitives aboard her ship, but for a doe-eyed prince disguised as a peasant, she makes an exception.) count the rings by lachesisgrimm (olga_theodora) (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 20 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Urban legend says the demon tree needs a bride in order for it to escape its confines. What happens when Rey jokingly marries herself to the tree during a camping trip?) Crystal Crowns by altargaryen (AO3 2021  Rated T Complete, 10 Chapters, Royalty AU, Quick Synopsis: Princess Rey Palpatine was a sprightly twelve year old the day her very best friend in the whole world left her. She is a women fully grown the day he returns, six years later, on the verge of taking up her own crown half a world away. A best friends to lovers, royalty romance.) Day Follows Night; Dark Follows Light Sequel by LyricalRiot (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, 20 Chapters, Canon CD, Quick Synopsis: After the thorough defeat of the First Order, the Resistance is busy forming a new government, and two powerful Force users, Ben Solo and Rey, are in search of their destiny now that the war is over. Their new feelings for each other are strong, and they know they want to stick together, but learning what exactly that means is undiscovered country. Vague plans and a bit of planet hopping are all they have in their future for now, but it won't take them long to find the Force has other plans in store. Visits to old homes, nights of glamor and artifice, and exploring the secret deep places of the galaxy ahead. Steamy, but not graphic.) Deceit, Delusion, and Desire by AttackoftheDarkCurses, thebuildingsnotonfire (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 16 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When Rey realizes her student visa is about to expire, she struggles to find a way to stay in the country legally. Her roommate has a terrible idea, and it's just risky enough to work.) Dreaming of a December Wedding by greywilde (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 11 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: A Reylo modern AU based on the Hallmark Christmas Movie, "A December Bride" Rey Jackson was supposed to marry Poe Dameron and have her dream December wedding - until he fell in love with her foster sister Kaydel. And it's all Ben Solo's fault. Now it's payback and he's her fake date to the wedding, but when Ben makes an impulsive announcement, it sets the stage for an elaborate holiday arrangement.) Eating for Two by Hellyjellybean (AO3 2021  Rated E Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is pregnant and smells her neighbour Ben's cooking. She goes round to ask if he would be willing to share. But maybe Ben would like to share more than his cooking with Rey.) Fated and Inevitable by Kyriadamorte (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Canon AU, Quick Synopsis: Padawan Ben's life gets a whole lot more complicated when a group of Force users on Jakku demands he marry one of their own before offering aid to a floundering New Jedi Order. He refuses, of course. At first.) Five Times That Ben Saved Rey's Valentine's Day & How She Forever Saved His by AnneAnna (AO3 2021  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben makes a confession in his wedding speech: He knew he was going to marry Rey when he and Rey were 4 years old and she gave him a Valentine she made and colored herself. And 21 years later, he still has that Valentine.) for love or money by KiKi37 (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, 30 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: The loss of a scholarship has left Rey Niima in a financial bind, with only a few months until graduation. Her friend Rose might know of something that could help.) Force du Couer by Stargazer1116 (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, 24 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Kylo Ren is the CEO of a successful corporation in NYC. In a power play, his board, led by his uncle, demand that he marry to makeover his dismal public image. Rey is an art therapist working with foster kids in Harlem. When she contacts Kylo for possible support, he proposes a business deal that can benefit them both. He has no idea how much this woman with a fierce heart will turn his world upside down.) forever valentine by bellestar (AO3 2021  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben makes a confession in his wedding speech. He knew he was going to marry Rey when he and Rey were 4 years old and she gave him a Valentine she made and colored herself. And 21 years later, he still has that Valentine.) Gifted Forevers by ABeautifulBreakdown (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When Rey said yes to Marrying Ben Solo she never expected things to get so out of hand. Now, on the day of her wedding, she's given a choice because all roads lead to him.) Go And Catch A Falling Star Chapter 18 by Ayearandaday (AO3 2020  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey asked for something to keep her warm for her birthday. Poe decides the best present he could get is Ben.) Go And Catch A Falling Star Chapter 45 by Ayearandaday (AO3 2020  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: From childhood to adulthood, Ben is practiced at catching a clumsy Rey.) Go And Catch A Falling Star Chapter 50 by Ayearandaday (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben needs to get married in order to get full ownership of his company. Rey learns about her boss' predicament and offers a helping hand.) Go And Catch A Falling Star Chapter 56 by Ayearandaday (AO3 2021  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Hungry overworked Ben accidentally ends up in McDonalds. Guess what happens next?) Go And Catch A Falling Star Chapter 59 by Ayearandaday (AO3 2021  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: This chapter was born during a video about how pockets on women's clothing shrunk through history. Modern Rey would be outraged to know that womankind used to have pockets big enough to stash a loaf of bread. Imagine all the snacks they could fit! But she would have to make do with her boyfriend's pockets. Yep, that's basically the plot. Warnings: if Reylo babies bother you, you might want to skip this one.) Good Opinion by Hormonal_Trashbag (AO3 2016  Rated T Complete, 4 Chapters, Regency AU, Quick Synopsis: “Will you allow me my freedom if I consent to marry you?” He blinked, startled by her question. “You cannot be serious. Regardless of what my mother may want, we have no need to marry.” The flickering candlelight cast wild shadows on her lovely face. There was something absolutely untamable about her, something he could never touch should he want to; Ben found that he decidedly did not. She was fierce and unforgiving as the sea, and he could not fully comprehend the twist of desire coiled in his gut at her unmoving gaze. Her response was simple. “Is that really true?”) Good Opinion by Hormonal_Trashbag (AO3 2016  Rated T Complete, 4 Chapters, Regency AU, Quick Synopsis: “Will you allow me my freedom if I consent to marry you?” He blinked, startled by her question. “You cannot be serious. Regardless of what my mother may want, we have no need to marry.”) heaven in hiding by blessedreylo (AO3 2021  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: They say it's impossible for a guy and girl to be "just friends", but Rey and Ben had managed to discredit that throughout their decade long friendship. What they both have is special, that people would often arrive at the conclusion the two were made for each other. He's her safe haven, her rock. She gives him a sense of clarity and direction. Ben and Rey know each other more than anyone ever possibly could. Therefore on Valentine's Day, their friends decided to secretly set them up together on a blind dinner date.) Heavy in Your Heart by crossingwinter (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Medieval AU, Quick Synopsis: Kylo, a prince who decided to have one last good night before their arranged betrothal, fell in love with a stranger at the bar. They don’t remember much except a voice. The next day, the stranger at the bar is at the altar marrying her bethrothed when she recognizes him as the man she had fallen in love with last night.) Homestead Fire by ladyofreylo (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Prairie AU, Quick Synopsis: In this story, Ben Solo is a homesteader trying to court O. Kenobi's adopted daughter whilst on the prairie. He believes he will make Miss Rey a good husband. He shows her how when he stops by to chop wood and build up her fire.) Hope Is Like The Sun by LoufromJakku (AO3 2021  Rated M Complete, 15 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Leia tries to set-up her painfully single son with her assistant Rey. What Leia doesn't know is that Rey's already pregnant with Ben's child after a (drunken) one-night-stand and she hasn't told him yet.) How Not to Break Up by LadyBrettAshley (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Nothing means more to Leia than her Annual Pumpkin Carving extravaganza. That’s why Ben asks Rey to keep their recent breakup a secret until after the party. After a carving-related accident, Ben comes to her aid and it turns out... they may not have to tell anyone they broke up at all.) I Thee Wed by Hellyjellybean (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is a wedding planner and on the wedding day she finds out that the young flower girl and the ring bearer are very stressed about their role in the wedding. Rey offers to walk them through it by pretending to be the bride so they could practice at the altar. They search for a fake groom amongst the wedding guests and find Ben. He agrees to help. ) I'll Pick You by greywilde (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 7 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey broke off her no-strings arrangement with Ben to move to the big city and broke his heart (and her own) in the process. Three years later, a trip to an apple orchard has her falling - literally - into the arms of the man she left behind. His feelings haven’t changed, but have hers?) I'm Your Dream Girl by Hellyjellybean (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Reylo AU where Ben & Rey are roommates but Ben is constantly blowing up at Rey for being messy, eating his food, but Rey always just smiles and takes it. That’s because she knows Ben’s secret. He talks in his sleep. Mainly about how much he loves her and wants her to be his wife.) ignorance of etiquette by blessedreylo (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Regency AU, Quick Synopsis: Lady Rey Kenobi lives a life of pristine comfort and luxury on her family's estate in Chesire with her parents Lord Obi-Wan Kenobi and Lady Satine Kenobi. When they receive word that an old family friend, Lord Benjamin Solo, is coming to visit, Lady Rey is reminded of how he tormented her as a child. She decides that she will prove herself not the same girl she once was in more ways than one.) ignorance of etiquette by blessedreylo (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Regency AU, Quick Synopsis: Lady Rey Kenobi lives a life of pristine comfort and luxury on her family's estate in Chesire with her parents Lord Obi-Wan Kenobi and Lady Satine Kenobi. When they receive word that an old family friend, Lord Benjamin Solo, is coming to visit, Lady Rey is reminded of how he tormented her as a child. She decides that she will prove herself not the same girl she once was in more ways than one.) In Sickness And In Health by Theyna_Shipper (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, 8 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey knows it's not an ideal situation, but it's a situation thousands of people are in. It's not like there's much she can do about it right now, anyways. She can go a little while without health insurance. Until she gets breast cancer. The treatment will be simple if she can get it. But she's worried she can't, until her old co-worker Ben offers a solution: "We could get married.") Inspired by Wasting Time on the Interwebs Chapter 8 by Theyna_Shipper (AO3 2020  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey and Ben are paired up for an economics assignment, but they have a major difference of opinion on some key points.) key to the kingdom by blessedreylo (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 12 Chapters, Princess Diaries AU, Quick Synopsis: Most girls get a drunk weekend in Vegas for their 21st birthday, but Princess Rey Kenobi gets the chance to rule the country of Alderaan. But the only way she can become Queen is if she marries a man in 30 days, or the throne goes to the selfish (and annoyingly attractive) usurper Lord Benjamin Solo. Will Rey be able to ascend to the throne or will it all just become a royal pain in the ass?) lay all your love on me by akosmia (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben doesn't really think much of himself, and Rey is determined to change his mind.) Leave a Message by spicytofuuuu (AO3 2020  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben and Rey's relationship as told by the voicemails Ben leaves for Rey.) Let me Dream, Let me Stay by Melusine11 (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 12 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey has kept up a charade of a non-existant boyfriend for two years and now that Rose and Finn are getting married, she needs someone to pretend to be said boyfriend, enter her coworker Ben.) lie with me and just forget the world by hi_raeth (AO3 2021  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: For Rey Solo, the year is 2016. She’s just woken up in the hospital, she’s recovering from a car crash, and she’s wondering where the hell her husband is. For Ben Solo, the year is 2021. It’s been two years since the divorce, since the worst mistake in all of history, since the day he walked away from the love of his life. Sometimes, the universe has a weird (and potentially fatal) way of bringing people back together.) lucem ac viventis by neonheartbeat (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 17 Chapters, Beauty and the Beast AU, Quick Synopsis: In the midway of this his mortal life,/Poe found him in a gloomy wood, astray/gone from the path direct: and e'en to tell:/ it were no easy task, how savage wild/ that forest, how robust and rough its growth,/ which to remember only, his dismay/ renews, in bitterness not far from death/--Yet to discourse of what there good befell, /all else will he relate... discover'd there. A Star Wars take on Beauty and the Beast. Tale as old as time, in a galaxy far, far away.) Make Me Over by Hellyjellybean, Twisted_Mirror (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo is a man with a past. The famous actor has used everything from drink to sex to try and fight his demons but maybe all he really needs is the love of a good woman? Rey Johnson is excited to have been appointed MUA to the lead actor on her first film set. From the moment she meets Ben Solo, she's a goner but does he feel the same?) make my heart a better place by defiersofthestars (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben is babysitting his niece and she begs him to FaceTime Rey so she can read her a bedtime story. He’s never met her but as soon as the call connects, he’s completely transfixed. He doesn’t tell her when the kid falls asleep because he doesn’t want her to stop reading.) My Dad Will Not Date Miss Palpatine (But Maybe He Can Marry Her) by AnneAnna (AO3 2021  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Annie Solo is perfectly happy with her Dad and brother and the last thing she needs is her dad's high school sweetheart coming to town and ruining everything. But maybe just maybe Miss Palpatine will be far better than she expected.) My Sandwich by Blueyedgurl (AO3 2020  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Someone took Ben's turkey sandwich at work, he is infuriated and eager for revenge, until he finds out it was Rey then those feelings no longer exist.) My Whole Life by AttackoftheDarkCurses, thebuildingsnotonfire (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 13 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: The "Without a Hitch" high school sweethearts, fake-dating rom-com AU.) Nevertheless, She Persisted by dawninthemtn (AO3 2019  Rated T Complete, 24 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Junior campaign staffer Rey works for US presidential candidate Leia Organa and ends up with the job of babysitting her aloof and entitled adult son Ben.) Newspaper Hearts by Celia_and (AO3 2021  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: “She made her Valentine’s cards. She tore hearts out of newspaper and glued them onto used envelopes and painstakingly wrote each child’s name. She probably spent days making them. And you know what she wrote on mine?” He doesn’t need to read it to know what it says, so he looks down at her instead, and the hand on her heart and the tears in her eyes. “Ben: You are OK. Rey.”) Nonsense & Nuptials by thehobbem (AO3 2021  Rated T Complete, 2 Chapters, Regency AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is the ward of Leia and Admiral Han Solo. She lives alongside Ben Solo who is the victim of her repeated attempts at matchmaking. But her scheming reveals more about her own feelings and fears that she's missed out on something very important.) Of Colds by Armayra (AO3 2020  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis:  Rey gets a cold and ends up feeling lonely. Ben plans to fix that.) Peacock by AttackoftheDarkCurses (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, 22 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Thanks to a series of misunderstandings, failed attempts at flirting, and loud Katy Perry music, Ben grows to hate his new neighbor. Proposing to her wasn't the best solution to his problems.) Port in the storm by Blueyedgurl (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey pretends to be afraid of thunderstorms so she has an excuse to sleep next to Ben. Ben figures it out when he races home early after seeing thunder, fearing Rey will be crying alone curled up in a ball, only to find her totally chill and eating ice cream.) Rey, Voulez-Vous Prendre Ben Comme Époux? by Theyna_Shipper (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is her boss's best friend and is present at his French wedding. However, due to a language barrier, Ben and Rey are the ones who end up married.) Sleepyhead by Blueyedgurl (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben, a mere himbo, tucks a stray hair behind Rey's ear in class. He knows he deserves the hot coffee in her hand to be thrown in his face and yet he gets a date. ) Something Beautiful by ceciliasheplin (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Medieval AU, Quick Synopsis: Lord Ren forces orphan Rey to marry him. On their wedding night he refuses to take her because he wants her to be willing. Rey is both enraged and frustrated. She may hate him but she isn’t exactly opposed to being ravished by her husband.) Sunshine and Gunpowder by rightforlife (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 8 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: She’s a teacher who would do anything to protect her student. He’s a glorified hitman with a heart of black gold.) Teenage Dream by ReyloRobyn2011 (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: They met on the playground in first grade. Ben saw the scrawny girl with three messy buns lining the back of her head from across the schoolyard. She sat by herself on the bench, watching the other kids play. He’d never seen her before; she was the new girl in class. Ben didn’t have any friends and he was too shy to talk to anyone— but there was something about this girl. He felt drawn to her.) The Background by Blueyedgurl (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: He draws her every week. He draws her looking at him smiling, thoughtful, or truly magical, He pours his heart and soul into these drawings. Every Sunday he comes to the hospital room, hoping to meet her eyes. But she's not waking up. His hope is fading. Today...) The Five Times Ben Stole Rey's Halloween Candy and the One Time He Bought Her Some by AnneAnna (AO3 2021  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: They meet when Ben Solo tries to steal Rey Kenobi's Halloween bucket and Rey hits him over the head the with her plastic lightsaber. They eventually become best friends and then more. This is just all the Halloween Fall Fluff in the world.) The Soiled Doves by fernybranca (AO3 2018  Rated M Complete, 28 Chapters, Regency AU, Quick Synopsis: Luck raised Miss Rey Jakku from the streets into the household of Baron Luke Skywalker, and he willed her a fortune beyond the dreams of wealth—earning her the eternal hatred of Benjamin Kylo Skywalker Organa Solo, His Grace of Alderaan, who had counted on his uncle's money to rebuild his ruined ducal seat. But hatred bleeds into obsession, obsession into love, and the rules of the haut ton are strict.) The Trail Bride by SecretReyloTrash (BadOldWest) (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, 47 Chapters, Historical AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey Niima finds herself in a perilous situation when her husband dies at the start of their journey West. From the few bachelors on the trail in her party; she attaches herself to the best of her options. That option is the mysterious Banker Ben Solo.) The Trial of Naboo: Fall of a Duke by Twin_Kitten (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Historical AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben and Rey are engaged to be married, but after several attempts on her life, he takes personal responsibility for her safety, including keeping her in his bed at night. Problem? Ben is extremely attracted to his bride but the MUST wait until marriage. ) The Ward by dreamingspires (AO3 2021  Rated E Complete, 18 Chapters, Regency AU, Quick Synopsis: An angsty, Bridgerton-ish/Alpha/Omega/Smutty mash-up, Ben rescues Rey and ends up her guardian.) the way I see you by ocjones (AO3 2021  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Historical AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben glides a finger over the painting’s shining face. It’s long since dried, having traveled the slow journey of hills between Naboo and Mortis, yet the varnish is so glossy it almost feels wet to the touch.And there she is: a soft-looking woman, her breasts pillowing over the top of her corset, her hair held lightly back with a band and flowing out behind her. Her delicate fingers grip a book, clasp it in her velvet-clad lap. The smile on her face is as gentle as her portrayal. His wife.) The Wedding Necklace by daughter_of_the_fifth_house (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, 21 Chapters, Canon CD, Quick Synopsis: Nambi Ghima sensed Rey’s longing for a family and gave her a wedding necklace for her future husband - the necklace Kylo Ren ripped off Rey's neck. Which means getting married. First Order Officer Tishra Kandia is confused why she had to analyze said necklace. She and a lot of people – and droids – on both sides of this war wonder about the marriage of Supreme Leader Kylo Ren and the Jedi Rey. The only thing is… Rey and Kylo don't even know they’re married.) Through the Years by castles_and_crowns (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, 10 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo and Rey Jakkson meet on the playground as children under unusual circumstances and quickly become best friends. This fic follows them through the years, showing glimpses of their friendship as it slowly progresses into something more.) to climb steep hills by galvanator (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: No one really talks to the new girl who sits in the back of the class. She’s been here a month but kids are afraid of her and teachers are too overworked to be able to solve a problem like Rey. No one really talks to the new girl - except for Ben. A childhood to adulthood love story.) To Have and to Hold by bunilicious (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 5 Chapters, Medieval AU, Quick Synopsis: “Your husband is gravely injured, my lady.” The envoy’s words should have pleased Lady Rey. After all, her husband was one of the dreaded Norman barons who invaded her beloved country and claimed the lands in the name of the bastard who now called himself king. Ben Solo had stormed her uncle’s keep, killed all the men who opposed their new conquerors, and claimed the stronghold for his own. He took the keep, he took the surrounding lands and, at the new king’s orders, took Rey to wife. Rey should have hated him. But, in the six months following their hasty and undesirable marriage, Rey found that hatred for her new husband was the furthest emotion from her heart and mind.) Trick or Treat, Baby by Everren (AO3 2021  Rated E Complete, 7 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo is not in the mood to deal with trick or treaters this Halloween. In fact, he’s taken measures to ensure he doesn’t have to. Can Rey, his next door neighbor and lover of all things Halloween, change his mind?) Unexpected by incognitajones (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 6 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey doesn’t want anything from her one-night stand Ben Solo, not even now that she’s broke, jobless, and pregnant. But he’s desperate to avoid a scandal that could derail his election campaign, so they agree to a cold-blooded business deal: she’ll marry him and be the perfect political wife—for a price, and a limited term.) weddings and wingwomen by bigfootsflannel (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: After hiring Ben Solo as her wedding photographer, Rose discovers her true calling as part-time matchmaker.) Wild Child by tmwillson3 (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 4 Chapters, Regency AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey spends her first Season in Bath with her best friend, Rose Tico. When Rose begins a hate-at-first-sight relationship with Sir Armitage Hux, Rey thinks that nothing more exciting could happen. That's when Sir Hux's friend, the Earl of Alderaan, and his dogs come crashing into Rey. Rey has never liked peers, but when she bonds with him on a rainy day, everything changes.) Wild Child by tmwillson3 (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 4 Chapters, Regency AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey spends her first Season in Bath with her best friend, Rose Tico. When Rose begins a hate-at-first-sight relationship with Sir Armitage Hux, Rey thinks that nothing more exciting could happen.That's when Sir Hux's friend, the Earl of Alderaan, and his dogs come crashing into Rey. Rey has never liked peers, but when she bonds with him on a rainy day, everything changes.) Worth the Wait by LadyBrettAshley (AO3 2021  Rated E Complete, 7 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: After being cheated on by her fiancé, Rey decides not to wait til marriage & decides to lose her virginity to known scoundrel Ben. "Scoundrel" Ben begs her for a dinner with him, worships her in bed and trails after her like a lovesick puppy. Rey is confused.)

[couplesinstitutecounseling]

When You Love Someone With Complex PTSD

This article gives a brief overview of some basics about Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) and what you can do to support yourself as well as nurture your relationship when you love someone with Complex PTSD. You may be wondering if reading this article will be helpful to you.

If your partner experienced significant trauma during childhood and you find yourself in awe of all that they are in spite of what they have been through, yet uncertain at times about how to provide the right kind of support, then this article is for you.

If you recognize the wisdom within your partner that is derived from their experiences, but struggle to access your own wisdom when you see your partner suffering then this article is for you.

Lastly, if you sometimes see your partner as someone who would benefit from healing work but, are not sure of the right place to start then this article is for you.

This article is about how to bring your best self to your relationship by forging one that is defined by security, consistency, and honesty as well as understanding the importance of your own self-care in cultivating these bonds.

Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) can occur when a person experiences multiple or prolonged traumatic experiences (Complex Trauma) over the course of a lifetime. Oftentimes, the traumas are relational in nature which means that the events occur within relationships during developmental periods such as childhood. For example, periods of childabuse or neglect and/or multiple ruptures or transitions with primary caregivers; such as multiple foster placements in which attachment bonds are ruptured or substance abuse or dependence by a primary caregiver.

There are two areas of human development that are impacted by Complex Trauma. When these areas are impacted it can result in CPTSD. They are:

Attachment: the ways in which a person learns to have relationships with others

Self-Regulation: the way in which a person handles self soothing in the face of stress.

Let’s look at both more closely.

In terms of Attachment, a child who experienced multiple adverse experiences such as abuse, domestic violence, neglect or community violence is likely to, as an adult, experience frequent mistrust, fear of abandonment, and difficulty feeling secure in their intimate relationships. The reason for this is that the template that was formed early on about how to have relationships was developed under the pretense that “those who love me either hurt me, or leave.” These recurring experiences often cause the belief that people are not safe to trust; leading to the lived experience of, “I’m hurt when you stay and I’m hurt when you leave:a double edged sword.”

Self-Regulation is a set of skills that are learned by internalizing the soothing actions of our caregivers when we are hurt, scared, hungry, sad etc. The capacity by which we are able to do this for ourselves as adults is largely made possible by the quality and quantity of that which was given to us. The opportunities to learn from and observe adults practicing self regulation in ways that are healthy and nourishing for children with Complex Trauma often are minimal. Instead, the stress response system, the internal regulation system that is in charge of keeping us safe in the face of stressors, becomes overloaded due to a lack of opportunities to return to a calm state. In CPTSD this results in an elevated baseline and a stress response system that is overly sensitive to stressors. Thus the system responds by vacillating between extreme states of hyperarousal to hypoarousal (dissociation) rather than remaining within an ideal, more balanced “window of tolerance.” People who have not experienced trauma typically remain in this window within their normal day to day lives. This might account for why your partner may appear to have seemingly disproportionate reactions to stimuli that doesn’t impact you as severely: their system’s degree of sensitivity and reactivity is such that a smaller event can cause them great distress and dysregulation.

The hopeful news is that the medicine for CPTSD can be found within the healing power of relationships and within our brains’ incredible ability to create new templates for relationships by a process called neuroplasticity, our brain’s ability to make new neural connections throughout our lifetime. The incredible healing power of relationships as they relate to Complex Trauma has been well documented by neuroscientists such as Dr. Bruce Perry1, who specializes in the impacts of childhood trauma and neglect and its impact on neurodevelopment, and Dr. Daniel Siegel2 who has also well documented the process of neurodevelopment. What this means is that you and your partner have the ability to form a secure attachment in adulthood EVEN IF your partner has not yet experienced that in their life3 -VERY EXCITING!!! But where do you begin? It is important to know the following:

You can not erase existing templates but you can create new ones.

Your efforts should be patterned and repetitive, as these templates live in lower, less “plastic” ie. not as easily changed, parts of the brain that are only accessed and changed through doing things over and over again.

You don’t need to figure this out on your own. Finding a couples therapist educated about Complex Trauma is recommended and can help facilitate the healing process.

Here are some other ideas you’ll want to consider:

Be Consistent, be predictable: Repetition is the key to building a secure attachment. It also facilitates the ability to trust. For example, calling your partner every night before bed to say goodnight, this may seem simple, but it can have a profound effect on shaping a new, loving, and secure template of what a relationship can be in your partner’s brain.

Know your boundaries: This is a big one and related back again to being consistent and predictable. What is and what is not in your control? If your partner is struggling with mood symptoms including anxiety or depression and struggling with self regulation, it is not your job to fix that, but you can encourage your partner to establish a relationship with a therapist or make an appointment with an existing one. It can be powerful to validate your partner’s suffering while simultaneously acknowledging that you do not have the power to make it all better. In all relationships it is important for each partner to own their own struggles and work on them independently from the relationship.

Establish and keep up with your own self care plan: When we fall in love it is so easy to give and give and then one day we wake up and we realize, “Oops! I have given to everyone except me!” You have got to fill your own bucket. Keeping up with a routine that nourishes you and keeps you connected to yourself and those in your support system is crucial. You are modeling for your partner that it is okay to practice self care and encouraging the process called differentiation (an ongoing process of self-defining within the context of the relationship that is a key developmental milestone within relationship and is that which sets the stage for further development and deeper intimacy as your relationship progresses).

Don’t try to explain, instead “connect and redirect”: Emotions are not logical, yet it is our tendency to try to explain our way through them. When your partner is in an emotional state of activation, remember, first connect by reflecting back what you hear them say, including their feelings. Listen and mirror without the intention of problem solving. Once your partner has expressed to you that they are feeling heard, ask them if they want support in problem solving (re-direct). Once you check for their interest, you may find that you have already helped enough!

Do find out what is soothing to your partner: People who have experienced complex trauma are often well aware of what they do and do not like. Ask them their preferences, you may find out that your partner can not tolerate massage but loves a warm bath. If so, draw them a bath and draw it often! Remember: repetition, consistency, predictability.

Practice consent in intimacy and beyond: Trauma is defined as an extreme loss of control to a perceived threat or life threatening situation. Healing for trauma survivors always includes establishing a sense of safety. A way to safety is though experienced control– practicing consent is a powerful vessel for this. This means asking permission before and during intimate encounters as well as throughout your day-to-day interactions, for example, “Is it okay if I move your things while I clean this room?”

Anticipate events that could cause anxiety for your partner: Work together to create a safety plan. For example, if your partner feels anxious in social settings like big events such as a wedding, decide ahead of time where to sit during the ceremony and have a signal that you can give to one another if your partner needs a break. This can be a good opportunity to step outside and get a breather, check in about how you are both doing, and make adjustments to your plan as necessary.

Don’t take it personally: Your partner has been through a lot. It is likely that if your partner has a reaction to something that you do or say that it has less to do with you than you think and more to do with what that thing reminds them of. When this happens take a deep breath and do your own physiological self soothing, then when you feel regulated check back in, try to think of these moments as opportunities to learn more about what your partner’s triggers are so that you can work with them in a thoughtful and meaningful way.

Remember, it all goes back to the incredible healing power of relationships and the bonds that are formed when we are present and available for one another. Even as therapists we can get stuck in the trap of thinking that we should be able to fix it all right then and there and we jump too quickly to problem solving. Yet it is always meaningful to take a step back and remember that the key to building a secure relationship is not in your ability to offer a quick fix. Rather, it lies within your ability to take your time, be consistent, and show your commitment to being there again and again. If past trauma is impacting you or your relationships and you need help, reach out to us, establishing a relationship with a therapist can be the first step in creating a path to healing that can seem overwhelming and uncertain, more clear, manageable, and supportive.

[ornamentelle]

KH OC Week Day 2: Bonds of the Heart

(The Stonewall siblings, from left to right: Tatsuya, Akihiko, Hikaru, and Yui)

Day 2 for @khoc-week​ for the Stonewall girls; better late than never!

For Hikaru...

Family

For most of her life Hikaru’s strongest bonds were with her family. She didn’t really have many chances to make close friends due to moving frequently, and in her birthworld of Polaris, her family had a reputation that set her and her siblings as outcasts of sorts.

Akihiko: By far, her best and closest friend was her older brother Akihiko, who was something of a rival in certain regards, but more so a partner in crime for whatever mischief they found themselves in. Wherever Akihiko went, Hikaru was almost sure to follow.

Yui: Her relationship with her older sister Yui was much more strained in comparison; she always thought of Yui as needlessly grumpy and a source of a lot of their mother’s frustrations with the kids. Despite that, Hikaru does know that Yui is always watching out for them—no matter how prickly she can sometimes be.

Tatsuya: Their youngest brother and newest addition to the family, Tatsuya was taken in by them only a couple years before the story’s start after they found him alone in one of the cities they were living in. Hikaru finds him a bit strange, but likes having someone younger she can be a bad influence big sibling to.

Friends

Hikaru does branch out and make some friends once her world is destroyed, however. Some notable ones...

Sora: Like two peas in a pod. Over the course of her journey, Hikaru finds a tight friendship in Sora, who she comes to see like a brother. His cheerful demeanor and competitive nature remind her quite a bit of her brother Akihiko, though Hikaru relishes in being the older one in this duo. They spend much of their adventure together and come to trust each other a lot.

Kairi: In the short time Hikaru spends on the Destiny Islands prior to the world’s destruction, she and Kairi become fast friends. Hikaru really appreciates having another girl friend, after spending so much time around her brother and his friends. Kairi offers a certain level-headedness and understanding that Hikaru appreciates greatly.

Donald: One of her “surrogate parents.” Despite the duck’s short fuse and impatience with Hikaru’s shenanigans, he surprisingly offers something that Hikaru was always lacking in her home life: the confidence to persevere, and the encouragement to try her hardest.

Goofy: Goofy’s kindness and patience make him a much-needed father figure in Hikaru’s life, especially so soon after her father’s own passing. Goofy is understanding of Hikaru’s troubles and offers her unconditional support.

Significant other

Hovering somewhere between close friend and something more, Hikaru and Riku form a relationship based on a patient understanding of each other’s mistakes, flaws, and pains. A tentative friendship at the start of KH1 takes a turn for the rocky once the adventure kicks off, quickly devolving into hostility and a growing spiteful contention. It isn’t until some time later that Hikaru takes a step back and tries to reconcile—and in doing so, finds one of her most trusted confidantes and closest bonds. 

And now for Yui! (Unfortunately I don’t have many pictures for her relationships.)

Yui has always been something of a loner. She spends much of her time by herself, seeking a haven from the stresses from her family life and making only peripheral acquaintances wherever she goes. Sometimes she almost dares to open up, but every time previous she’s run away the moment she feels herself growing too close to someone. There’s a conflict inside her, a fear of getting close to people clashing with a deep longing for trust and connection.

Family

Akihiko: Akihiko is the family’s golden child, while Yui is the family black sheep; but they have an unspoken understanding and watch each other’s backs, even if they don’t spend a lot of time actually hanging out together. Yui takes it upon herself to keep her brother in line and make sure his ego doesn’t get the best of him, while Akihiko tries to mediate any tensions and disagreements between the family before they can reach a boiling point.

Hikaru: Yui sees Hikaru as a naive child, which isn’t completely wrong. It’s a source of frustration, but it’s also something Yui in some ways wants to protect. Yui shields Hikaru from the worst parts of life, and gods help anyone who decides to lay a hand on either of her siblings; because Yui has proven it before that any threat to her family will be met with rage and vengeance.

Luna: The darkest shadow in Yui’s life is the one cast by her mother Luna. The two of them have always had a vicious and hostile relationship with each other— a relationship that Yui calls cruel because to Luna, Yui is no better than a monster. They may not like each other, but there is at least one thing they can agree on: that Yui will always protect her younger siblings.

Friends

It takes a long time until Yui begins to make actual friendships. Of them, there are a few notable ones from the post-KH3 era.

Lea: Yui never asked to be Lea’s friend; it just sort of happened. Mainly it’s just going out for drinks, but hey, better than nothing. Yui finds Lea’s attitude and behavior a little grating at times, but her exasperation is one of mild amusement. Maybe. It depends on her mood.

Isa: Being friends with Lea means being hanging out with Isa, and Yui finds herself getting along with him more easily than Lea. Though they aren’t particularly close, she’s more willing to talk about serious issues with him.

Terra: Yui knew of Terra long before she met him, but she soon realized they were sort of like kindred spirits in several ways. Her blameless understanding of the things he’s gone through leads to some heartfelt conversations, and Terra has become one of the first people she’ll go to when she needs to talk to someone.

Significant Other

A relationship that never should have been—or at least, that’s how Yui sees it. Because really, there was no reason she and Aqua should have ever become as close as they had, other than the circumstances that had forced them together. When they first met, it had been caution and suspicion. Aqua had no reason to trust Yui, especially as she began to discover the deep darkness lurking in Yui’s heart. But loneliness and the need to survive won out, and they agreed to work together. From there, they discovered more about each other and developed a mutual respect. An act of self-sacrifice and one rescue mission later, and that mutual respect began to turn into something more.

Thanks for reading!

[kae-karo]

Shiniida? It's one of my faves.

hi dear!!!! oo okay okay i see u here with shiniida (although shinkami will always be my preferred ship lmao) - send me a bnha character or ship and i’ll give u my thots (x)! check out what i’ve already done (x)

okay here’s the thing right. iida is way too stressful for his own good let’s be honest. and u know. the first day of the new year when shinsou joins their class (look let me dream lmao) and iida’s out there tryin to get everyone seated except he’s having a fuckin panic cause now there are 21 students and where’s the extra desk this is all wrong 

and shinsou walks in, highkey stressed already cause he’s finally in the hero course for real and he’s starting to gain confidence in his abilities and stuff but he’s faced off against these kids and they’re no joke and then iida’s over there like shouting at everyone???? it pushes shinsou over the edge

he said he’d never use his ability on his classmates outside training but

he’s just like ‘hey iida’ and iida’s like ‘YES WHAT AHH SHINSOU NO PLEASE STAY RIGHT THERE WE DONT YET KNOW WHERE YOULL-’ and shinsou brainwashes him and is just like. iida for the love of fuck please just sit down and stop shouting you’re stressing me out like just. breathe oh my god

and everyone in that exact moment is like holy fuck we need to be careful not to piss shinsou off

shinsou lets go of the brainwashing but only once aizawa walks in behind him, and iida’s too focused on the arrival of the teacher (again okay let me dream lmao) to form a response to what shinsou did

but he spends the entire class thinking abt it

and he finds shinsou after, and shinsou’s like look. i’m sorry i really shouldn’t have done that i was already stressed and i needed you to not be shouting and iida’s like no (stern gaze) i have to thank you, actually. i didn’t realize how badly i was acting, and how that must’ve affected you but i assure you the students of class 1a i mean 2a are nothing but delighted to have you join us

and this is the first time in shinsou’s entire life that someone has actually thanked him for using his power on them (except deku but that didn’t count cause he was in danger) and it kinda leaves him speechless?? 

and then u know iida’s like I WOULD LIKE TO BECOME THE BEST HERO EVER AND LIVE UP TO MY BROTHER’S LEGACY AND actually i feel like i know everyone else in the class too well, and fighting them has become a little predictable (even if he hasn’t yet figured out how to beat some of his more powerful classmates) so would shinsou want to train with him?

and shinsous like oh. uh. yeah. sure? but on the inside he’s just. utterly thrilled to be so quickly accepted into the already tight-knit dynamic of the class

so they train, and as the Class President™ iida feels it’s his most important duty to make sure shinsou catches up on anything he might’ve missed from last year, so he makes a point of finding time to tutor shinsou. shinsou’s lowkey like aizawa kinda taught me all this already but okay bc hey he kinda likes iida’s determination and straightforwardness. he’s also maybe still hanging onto the fact that iida had actually been kind of grateful for shinsou using his quirk on him

but this leads to shinsou getting a very clear idea of just how tight-wound iida is, and one day - when iida’s getting just a little too much - shinsou takes control again, but this time he forces iida to breathe and lay down until he’s relaxed a bit. and the he releases his control, expecting iida’s wrath, but iida’s kind of just like. oh. so that’s how it feels to not be totally stressed out all the time

and again shinsou’s hit with the realization that iida just. can’t fathom him as using his power for villainous reasons??? whereas iida’s more like. he’s seen how shinsou’s acted, he pays close attention, and in his mind he thinks shinsou would be someone who stain would’ve wanted to spare - a real hero, the kind he wants to be, someone who works hard to help others in spite of any backlash he might receive for it

[amine01]

How to Learn Your First Programming Language

Presentation

Writing computer programs is an extremely valuable and remunerating pastime. There are not many preferred sentiments over when somebody sees you utilizing a program you lashed together to make your life simpler and says that it looks truly helpful. A great many people have, sooner or later in their lives, truly needed to have the option to accomplish something on their PC or telephone and been not able to. On the off chance that you know a programming language, at that point there is regularly a reasonable possibility that you can compose a program to achieve that task yourself. While there are an immense number of programming dialects, a considerable lot of them have a great deal of similitudes; this implies that once you learn one language very well, as a rule you will actually want to get another one far speedier.

Cutoff points

One thing that all new software engineers should come to term with is the measure of time learning a programming language takes. In spite of the fact that when you have become a specialist you will actually want to compose numerous projects rapidly, you should recollect that numerous projects have taken entire groups of master engineers a long time to make. So comprehend that knowing a programming language or even a few isn't sufficient to think of a portion of the more mind boggling programs you have seen. Try not to view this new leisure activity as an approach to save yourself a ton of cash, as composing your own adaptation of a large portion of the projects that you need to pay for the present will be out of your range.

The main thing that another developer has to know is that the "Pick up Programming in 24 hours" kind of books are just false. A more exact title would be "Master Programming in 10,000 hours". On the off chance that you put 24 hours or seven days into learning a language you won't make the following Windows or another, cutting edge game. It is conceivable to figure out how to compose a program in a short time, and actually all you require to become familiar with another dialect is your #1 web index, however you won't be a specialist. The best way to turn into a specialist is similar as learning the violin; the appropriate response is practice, practice and practice some more.

Choosing Your First Language

Since we have inspected the limits and dealt with a portion of the more ridiculous assumptions, those of you actually needing to figure out how to code will be glad to realize that writing computer programs is certifiably not something hard to begin learning and won't expect you to pay out colossal amounts of cash. On the off chance that you are perusing this article on-line, you as of now have the assets to begin for certain dialects, so let us consider what your first language should be.

Generally the primary language a programming rookie learns is either Visual Basic or Python. The main thing to comprehend is that these two dialects are totally different. The most straightforward distinction is one of cost. Python is thoroughly free; you can begin composing python now with simply a word processor on your PC, however in the event that you are on Windows, you will likely have to introduce it first. Anyway Visual Basic, frequently truncated to VB, is both free and not free. On the potential gain, VB can be less complex for rookies to learn on the grounds that it permits you to assemble the interfaces (the piece of the program the client will see) by moving the various parts similar as planning it in some fundamental workmanship application. The form of VB novices learn is typically Visual Basic 6, yet this is fairly obsolete and has been stopped. So nowadays the adaptation learned is regularly VB.NET which can be extensively less straightforward for rookies.

VB.NET should be created inside what we call an IDE (Integrated Development Environment); this is fundamentally an uncommon program you use to compose different projects. They likewise exist for Python, yet their utilization is absolutely discretionary. The free VB.NET IDE is called Visual Studio Express. At the hour of composing, the most recent variant is Visual Studio Express 2010. Shockingly, by utilizing the free form of the IDE you are limited with what you can do, and any projects you make can't be economically sold on. Remorsefully, the full paid adaptation of the IDE isn't modest, and presumably not fitting for a specialist, yet luckily to learn VB the free form is sufficient. Practically speaking, not very many business programs are created in VB nowadays, however the Visual Studio IDE permits you to utilize numerous different dialects. The commonality you will create by utilizing it will likewise permit you to utilize the force of the IDE for improvement in numerous different dialects. Some will contend that pretty much every language can be created in a content manager and that they are by a wide margin the most adaptable manner by which to code. While this is actually obvious (and I do recommend attempting advancement in a word processor to look without a moment's delay you improve), I would unequivocally prompt learning your first language with an appropriate IDE.

While customarily, individuals learn Python or VB first and these are by and large what is instructed at schools, I would not recommend both of these. I'm of the assessment that your first language should keep on being valuable to you one it has effectively helped you gain proficiency with the essentials of programming. In the event that I needed to suggest one of these for newbies, it would be VB.NET as frequently the most unpredictable piece of writing computer programs is the graphical side of things and in VB.NET this is extremely straightforward because of the simplified interface. These two dialects are regularly utilized as presentations as they are extremely open minded toward botches, and permit you to get sure about programming standards without stressing over a ton of the more intricate issue.

For those valiant spirits among you, I would really propose Java as your first language, despite the fact that it very well may be intricate, and is in this manner not a typical decision for a first language. Java programs are distinctive to most others in that they don't run on your PC. The client downloads Java, at that point your code runs on what is known as a VM (Virtual Machine). This implies that your code runs in a unique spot Java sets available - a phony duplicate of your PC - and handles the interpretation of this to the genuine machine for you. This implies that Java programs are "cross-stage", implying that they will generally run on Windows, Mac, Linux and most other working frameworks.

Java is a decent language to learn, as it is exceptionally far reaching and helpful. Moreover, it is ground-breaking, and is accessible for nothing for the two specialists and business employments. Be that as it may, rather than VB and Python, it doesn't endure botches and expects you to be quite certain about everything. It is likewise an article arranged programming language, which is an unpredictable issue which I will momentarily attempt to sum up. Dialects like Python and VB are what is known as procedural dialects, implying that the lines of code are pursued each other, while Java is an article situated language. object-arranged advancement is a term tossed around a great deal these days in the programming scene, and keeping in mind that not generally suitable it is for the most part thought to be a smart thought. At the most fundamental level, an item situated program is about articles. An item is an "launch" of a "class". A class is a plan used to portray something like a feline. The class contains both the information about the feline, for example, its name, age and proprietor just as "techniques" which are basically activities the feline can perform, for example, miaow. An example of the class "feline" would give you a specific feline. Nonetheless, this isn't a Java instructional exercise, so on the off chance that you are sufficiently daring to explore different avenues regarding Java you will go over this yourself in more detail. It is important that VB.NET and Python both have uphold for object-situated turn of events, and Java can possibly be utilized procedurally, yet these are not the dialects' essential planned uses and are not regularly utilized. On the off chance that you didn't comprehend that correlation, don't stress over it to an extreme. Article direction is difficult to get your head around, yet any fundamental Java or other item arranged language instructional exercise will make them comprehend everything in that passage.

A last explanation Java is a decent first language is that it is comparative from numerous points of view to Javascript, which is a completely unique class of language. Javascript is a scripting language (as is Python), and learning Java will mean you comprehend Javascript sensibly well. The thing that matters is between scripting dialects and typical programming dialects is outside the extent of this article, however as an enormous speculation contents are for the most part utilized for computerized errands while programs are utilized intelligently by clients. This isn't thoroughly evident, as the two sorts of language are utilized for the two assignments and most web programs are inherent Javascript.

With respect to the genuine language you pick, it is altogether up to you. Some may pick the customary amateur dialects or be daring and analysis with Java. Some of you may as of now have your eye on a language or extravagant one of the more expert dialects like Scheme or Prolog. Whatever your decision, the manner in which you will figure out how to program is the equivalent.

IDEs, Yes or No?

A significant number of the perfectionists say that IDEs are an impractical notion, and are loaded with pointless apparatuses and menus that occupy circle room and time to learn. While this is valid, I feel that an IDE is unquestionably beneficial. Numerous individuals offer free IDEs, for example, Eclipse and Netbeans, for the more well known dialects. There is likewise Visual Studio, which I referenced already; it is exceptionally natural, extremely incredible and it upholds numerous dialects (much as Netbeans and Eclipse do). In the event that you decided to utilize Java I would recommend Netbeans, as there is a bundled form of Netbeans with the JDK (Java Development Kit). Most dialects need a SDK (Software Development Kit) to work with them, and getting it introduced appropriately and connected to the IDE is regularly the hardest piece of the strategy. Visual Studio as of now accompanies the advancement packs set up, which makes life simpler, yet different dialects like Java and Python can be very difficult to set up appropriately. This is the reason I proposed the Netbeans + JDK pack for those trying different things with Java, as it handles the mind boggling set up for you, which will save you long periods of torment.

There are, in my opin                                                                                               click here to help you

[salomekirac]

( aslihan malbora, 23, cisfemale, she/her ) have you seen SALOME KIRAC around ? i hear they’re an REPORTER AT CNS who can sometimes be FRETFUL & GULLIBLE. but i also heard they can be POSITIVE & UPBEAT if you catch them on a good day. they’re usually hanging around HONEY’S BAKERY in their spare time. i sure hope they’re alright !

ello mates ello full disclosure that i have NO idea what im doing always and whatever follows next is trash bc i suck at intros so pls enjoy my garbage <3

salome’s parents are of turkish origins but grew up in the usa. subsequently, so did she. she’s the youngest of two children and has an older sister who she’s always looked up to.

salome grew up in the countryside, in a small town where everyone knew everyone. this must be what contributed to the development of her personality, seeing how a spirit of community, warmth, and gratitude were values deeply rooted not only in family life, but in town life too.

as a child, she was very fragile and it all had something to do with a condition that made her more prone to all kinds of diseases and injuries, especially colds and bruises. as her immune system developed better, it became less dangerous. 

the first time she went into a sunflower field, at the of five, she was almost killed by an allergic reaction. the incident motivated her sister to become a doctor when she’d grow up. for salome, it meant that she was reborn again and more appreciative than ever.

her father left home when she was ten. he took off into the world with his mistress. not that her mom ever told her that.

her mother took on a second job and her sister started work, in order to sustain the family. wanting to be of help somehow, salome learned how to take care of chores around the house and became very fond of various domestic tasks. she’d often gain a buck or two lending a hand to the townspeople. as long as it wasn’t around sunflowers.

when her sister, five years older, turned eighteen, she left for university. their mother fell ill because of stress and workload and it fell into salome’s hands to take care of her, while taking on her first part time job at the age of fifteen.

both salome and her sister worked to save up money so they could afford moving to the city and provide their mother with better healthcare access. the dream came true when salome, after years of intense studying, earned a scholarship to university of chicago.

the money saved up managed to provide a year’s worth of rent for her and her mom, whose situation got bad enough she’s now bed bound. 

it’s been five years of chicago, during which all her time was consumed by studies, running errands, and taking care of her mother. with the help of her sister’s new job, they can now afford a caretaker for their mom.

TLDR: country girl with an older sis, a sick mom, a dad that fucked off with his mistress. moved to chicago when she turned eighteen and lives with her bedbound mother.

→ headcanons.

after spending so much time in one place, salome loves running around, discovering things, and travel. it’s one of the reasons she became a reporter. in spite of that, she’s kind of camera shy and sometimes bumbles her way through live interventions. the higher ups might get fed up one day.

personality wise, salome is upbeat and optimistic and it’s this positive attitude that gets her through the exhaustion and essential lack of a real social life. she spends most of her time worrying about her mom, or rent, or her job. just generally worrying.

she’s been often scammed because of how gullible she is. she’s also the kind of person that has trouble saying no. it’s a work in progress.

salome is oblivious to the ugly side of the world ( and the city ), so maybe that should change. for reasons.

her hobbies include baking, sewing, and other various forms of diy’s. a lot of objects in her room are handmade.

v v v sweet she just wants everyone to be happy and bake rainbows together. once gave her coat to a trembling stray dog. it was winter.

sexuality wise, she’s bisexual. had two relationships: one when she was seventeen ( he was only with her to swipe her v card YIKES ) and another when she was twenty ( a nice lady tho they realized the flame just wasn’t there and they were better off as friends ).

→ wanted connections.

the caretaker: whoever it is that’s getting paid to look after her mother while she’s at work.

the two exes (0/2): find descriptions above.

work contacts: reporters have contacts in a lot of fields. they can be people she’s collaborated with for various stories or whatever.

best friend: a person who first showed her around chicago and the only one she finds time to hang around with once in a while.

her sister: obviously, but this is coming in the shape of a wc soon too. <3

bad influence: anyone that could accidentally ( or not ) drag her into the ~filth~ of this place.

indebted: someone that she’s helped ( in some way ) during a critical moment in their life. you know, a good samaritan kinda vibe. they would’ve been strangers.

[im-the-king-of-the-ocean]

2, 7, and 11 for the ask game (for Souls)

2. What scene did you first put down?

The scene of ch1, where Ruby tries to escape and the first experiment that introduces Penny happens.  Originally Souls was supposed to be a oneshot as a response to a request for Nuts and Dolts angst by an anon.  That was supposed to be it, but before I even answered the request, I think, it took off and spiraled into something bigger.

.

7. Where did the title come from?

I wanted a title that referred to how both Penny and Ruby were presumed dead but actually are still alive.  I think I started out with ‘Walking Dead’ references (y’know, zombies), and then ambled over to the phrase ‘dead man walking’, which I vaguely remembered as something that referred to a person that’s walking around but supposedly dead.

(in hindsight, I should have done the simplest google search of the term instead of assuming the phrase related to zombies, but welp - I learned last night it actually refers to men on death row).

Anyways, I decided to swap in the word ‘souls’ for ‘man’ because that seemed more RWBY’s speed (a simple soul, etc.) and ‘living’ for ‘walking’ because I wanted the focus to be on how they’re actually alive, not just walking around.  Thus, the title ‘Dead Souls Living’ was born.

Altho now I kinda like the concept of it being a title you think refers to Ruby and Penny at first glance, but the ‘souls’ are actually Ironwood and Watts, who are technically alive, but whatever spark was in their souls (like the spark Ozpin says Ruby has) is gone.  So, they’re alive, technically, but that hopeful light that rallies others has long been snuffed out within them (if Watts ever had it in the first place).

.

11. What do you like best about this fic?

So far, it’s my fic that’s most successful in balancing my impulse to put in everything including the kitchen sink when the mood strikes me and my desire to have a significant amount of the narrative plotted out ahead of time.

(yes, I know my writing style is pretty much two polar opposites constantly having to interact with each other, but it tends to lead to interesting places so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

(also, as much as I wish there was some kind of in-between, I have yet to actually find it)

To make a long story short, the first long form fic I tried writing had too many ideas/plot lines/complications, which resulted in me getting overwhelmed and stressed out.  Partly in response to that, the second long fic I tried I restricted to a single character having an arc and a POV, which I ended up getting bored with (and then fandom drama affected how I thought of that specific character and subsequently the story just fizzled out period).

My third long fic (the last one before Souls) came close to functioning well, but it’s problem was transforming the characters pretty far from their canon selves, the realization I liked my versions of the characters better than their actual canon selves, and the ensuing internal conflict over the issue.  Though I loved the fic (and still do), I let it go when I realized I no longer had passion for the characters as they are (and left that fandom to boot).

What I like about Souls best, and what makes it so fun to write, is that it’s built on everything I learned from these past experiences.  

It’s heavily structured, but with room for random impulses.  Everything is outlined in advance, but in such a way that I can add in unplanned additions (like an entire set of scenes following Taiyang post the Fall of Beacon).

I restricted myself to three core character perspectives (Ruby, Penny, Watts), which is just enough that writing each doesn’t feel monotonous, but it’s not too many and thus doesn’t become overwhelming.

Unlike all its predecessors, Souls manages to rest in this balanced position between impulsivity and planning.  I delight in seeing the plot lines I’ve worked on and planned thoroughly come to life, and, at the same time, how random sparks of inspiration strengthen them. 

(this next Penny chapter, for instance, I knew what the main scene that was to happen was, but the beginning I’ve written for it was a completely spur of the moment choice.  I’m super proud of how it turned out.)

Fanfiction too, I think, is intrinsically a transformation of a source material.  By definition then, Souls is a transformation of RWBY.  However, the relationship it has with RWBY canon is a much happier one than my third long fic (the one that came directly before it) had with its canon.  Overall, that makes it a better fic and one significantly more fun to write.

Souls is fueled by a deep love for the characters in it (yes, even Watts - I’m fully aware he’s a spiteful bastard but god is he the funnest spiteful bastard to write Ever) rather than the itch to warp the characters into what an (arrogant) part of me thinks they should be instead of what they are.

The much shorter answer to this question is: what I like best is that writing Souls is enormously fun and comes from a place of love and joy, and subsequently enthusiasm for it is easier to build than if passion for it came from someplace negative.

Fanfic Asks

[pinesprings]

Bulletproof

Summary: No matter how strong they are, they still get injured. They still bleed. They aren't bulletproof.

Or the one where Sam gets injured and Dave goes crazy

Notes: Had some feels, wrote an oneshot on Most Wanted (nostalgia ahh), Bulletproof, for lack of a better title. Hope that someone actually reads this thing Hope you guys like it :).

Warnings: Blood, Panic attacks, gun violence, an itsy bitsy teeny weeny amount of angst. Ok the it's a lot more. But it's not too heavy angst I swear.

Reading time: 12 mins (1.5k words)

Or read here on ao3

***

Gun drawn out and muscles tense, he walks through the empty building, the empty halls, but he doesn't look around. There are a few unconcious bodies lying around, they could be officers or civilians, but he won't bother look. His eyes are fixated on the intersection of the grand hall and the main corridor of the building. He can't think about anything and he is also thinking about everything at once, his eyes are open wide but he doesn't look around.

His eyes are fixated on the intersection of the grand hall and the main corridor of the building, because he swears he can spot a human form. His grip tightens on the handle of his gun, not because of the form, not because he expects to find the killer he would be hoping to catch. He's nervous. As if this is his very first case, he can feel a panic attack beginning to devour his insides.

Only the thought of it sends shivers down his spine because he can guess who the form is. And, oh god, he would rather not.

"Detective Reyes... There's no sign of the suspect", the officer's voice sounds hollow into his ears through the comms and he can't quite process the words. "Looks like he shot his way through a group of civilians. We've got victims. I'm calling for medical aid."

Completely ignoring his colleague's statement he takes a few more steps, his soles brushing the ground, feeling his own weight intolerable, and not quite able to catch his breath.

He takes one last step and he can finally see.

He can look at the form, it looks so horribly fragile.

The gun slips out of his hand at the familiarity of the golden locks of hair.

Dave is now looking down in terror at the blood soaked woman lying on the marble flooring.

He whispers under his breath, wishing that it's all just another of the nightmares that constantly plague him in his sleep.

"No..."

He darts down the corridor as fast as he can with his heart beating just as fast and his palms starting to sweat.

"Sam!"

This time it's no dream to wake up from.

The detective kneels beside his partner only to sink in the pool of blood on the floor. Sam's chest is going up and down with a horrifying difficulty as her infamous blouse is dyed deep dark red. He stares wide eyed at her grazed face, contorted in pain and can't help but get overwhelmed with panic.

"No..Sam....Please, stay with me" he pleads while caringly reaching to stroke her blonde streaks. With his other hand he checks for her pulse, hesitantly. On his forehead is forming a frown so stiff it hurts his skin, but he ignores it, he can't be bothered by that, not now.

Sam is awake still, hurled into herself, trying to process, to tolerate the pain. It's too much. She winces at her effort to move towards Dave, which stops no further than half an inch, a movement too subtle to be noticed.

Mildly encouraged by the steady beats he senses, Reyes lets out a breath he knows he has been holding since first laying his eyes on his wounded partner. Without further delay he proceeds with finding the source of the bleeding.

Lacking the tiniest hint of remorse for ruining his incredibly expensive suit, he takes it off with a swift movement and folds it sloppily into a small square fabric, using it to press the wound and prevent further blood loss.

Sam winces and let's out a strangled noise of protest. She tries her hardest to stay put as the taste of blood floods her mouth, neutralizing all other senses.

Dave is struggling to keep himself from losing his mind because right now, he feels just as helpless as when his mother was the one with the bullet inside her body.

"Hang on, the paramedics are on their way. Just.. hang in there." His voice is trembling and he tries to reassure her and himself that it will be ok, that Sam would make it. She ought to make it.

Dave wasn't there. He wasn't there when it happened and the only one he can possibly blame at the moment is himself. He should have been by her side, bringing down Hayley's murderer together. Instead they had let their issues and disagreements drive them apart, now look where that got them. He should have had the chance to do something, to react.

Now all he can do is wait until help arrives and he can't stand the bloody waiting. It's his goddamn partner's life that's on the line. That's why he shouldn't have a partner in the first place. He didn't want one. He was forced into seeing how amazing Sam is and now he can't even begin to imagine having to work -no, to live- without her. She should have gotten on that damn plane a few weeks ago, as she was supposed to.

That way she wouldn't be entangled in this disastrous case. She wouldn't have been shot. Another wave of panic suddenly shoots through him, shaking him to his core and sending some really unnecessary shivers down his spine. Somehow he's burning and freezing at the same time and then his thoughts are traveling to places they shouldn't be at the time.

Dave turns to inspect his partner's wounds once more. A shot to the stomach and another bullet pierced through her forearm. He presses his blood stained suit and shirt on the wounds as best as he can to stop the bleeding but he can tell it's not going to be enough.

He grits his teeth and curses under his breath.

"Damn you, Massey.."

While he makes an effort to ignore her pulse getting weaker and her face turning paler by the minute, the marshal starts mumbling something incomprehensible. She can't spit the words she wants out, she needs to push herself harder but it feels like she will choke on her own blood if she tries to speak any clearer. But she needs to know... after all it hasn't been long...they could have made it...

Sam, with all the strength left in her, forces her eyes open into two narrow slits, just as they can hear the sirens wailing in the distance.

"Did we... did we catch the.. the bastard?"

Her voice comes out rough but weak and vulnerable, contrasting the marshal's sparky personality and usual crappy Texan spite.

Dave's eyes widen before he pulls his face in a somewhat relieved grin. "You've been shot in the guts and you're worried about that ?" he scoffs, while plastering his face with a smile that doesn't quite reach his ears.

Sam tries to huff a chuckle but all that comes out is a repulsive cough, one that spatters blood all over Dave's chest.

He flinches at the feel of the body fluid wetting his bare skin, but it's worry that washes all over his features. "Save your strength and don't let me have all the fun alone, ok?"

After what felt like an eternity, the paramedics arrive. In a blur they place Sam on a stretcher, taking her inside the ambulance to transport her to the nearest hospital.

The detective insists on boarding with her on the vehicle. He takes a seat beside her while nervously biting his lower lip and rubbing his knuckles. Sam notices and attempts to grab his hand to comfort him and pull him out of his stressful contemplation. Dave raises his head to meet her foggy emerald eyes. He cautiously cups her hand with his and gives it a light squeeze, dying her somewhat clean fingers with thick blood.

"Reyes... I'll be fine, goddamn it".

He smiles bitterly as she slowly turns her head forward and closes her eyes.

"Yeah...you will." Reyes mutters, breathless, mostly to convince himself.

***

Bonus:

"Should have known you are too stubborn to die" he quipped with genuine happiness, disguised into a firm smirk

She chuckled at the comment and replied with a smirk of her own.

"We've still got a killer to catch, don't we?"

"Damn right we do. And this time we do it together" his tone was serious and this proposal was not to be met with a negative answer.

So she agreed.

"Together "

She drifted her gaze to the room's window, watching as the sun washed the city of Los Angeles with a warm light. She still had one more day until she was ready to go. Before continuing her life. She turned back to Dave only to deliver her realization.

"Wow.. we sound kinda cliche" she added from her hospital bed, a bright smile adorning her features.

Dave laughed at her witty remark and at that exact second of time he realised just how lucky she had been. Her smile lit up his eyes and he wanted to hold on to it. She wasn't bulletproof. He wasn't bulletproof. But together they would surpass every obstacle thrown in their way. Because they had to.

"Hah! I'll take that".

[wetookanoath]

It's Jason day, here's a silly prompt: the boys get stuck in a Friday 13th movie, The Final Girls style

(On AO3)

5

They are not gonna make it.

Movies are easy to experience because at the end of the day, doesn’t matter how intense feelings can get, it’s still on your screen and it won’t actually try to murder you.

But the blood in his hands is real, and so is Ryan’s wound on his shoulder and the fact that all their friends are now dead, and they are freezing in a lake, under a deck, shivering and scared as hell.

All Shane could do was to look at Ryan, the way his body was shaking with the cold, his eyes still wide open in spite of the pain and exhaustion. A part of him wanted to say this is not happening, it’s impossible, out of the realm of reality. But the truth is right in front of him.

Shane knew, as he took Ryan’s hand and interlock their bloody fingers, the man looking at him with frightened eyes as he saw the ruins they were now, they were not gonna make it.

1

Shane woke up to Devon’s screams and a weird feeling of being watched.

It was not their hotel room, not the city they were in, not any place they have ever known. The only real and constant thing with him was Ryan, trying to make him run, saying it’s happening, it’s Friday the 13th and it’s happening.

When the hockey mask appeared, he laughed. He laughed like a maniac, thinking this time TJ and Ryan really did it, they went beyond themselves for the prank.

It wasn’t until someone’s lady’s head was in his hands that he realized, this was not a joke.

3

They used to joke that they would survive a situation like this, no one has seen as many horror movies as them and no one is more logical than him. Ryan had been sure they would make such a great team, their survival was secured.

Back then it was easy to joke, all Shane had to do was ignore his feelings and listen to Ryan all the time. The best part of his day, the face he loved. It’s hard to look away and ignore all those feelings when your breathing is difficult and you may never see that person again.

“I love you.” Ryan broke the silence and Shane slowly looked at him, both sitting under the same old and tall tree.

“Would you have said it if we weren’t about to get murked?”

There’s a tiny smile on Ryan’s lips. He knew he wouldn’t, none of them would. They had been running from the truth for so long, ignoring the way things were better with the other around to the point being single seemed to be the only constant in their life from outside their little world.

He should have said it back in that moment. Maybe if they had kissed or stood up to hug, Shane would have seen the killer coming and Ryan wouldn’t be bleeding, they wouldn’t have needed to run, and run, and run, and run, and run…

4

“I love you, too! I love you, too!”

It didn’t matter how many times he said it, Ryan wasn’t opening his eyes and there was nothing Shane could do.

He thought of the first time he saw Ryan, clean shaven and cheeks round, happy smile and big laugh so distracting, Shane almost asked to be seated somewhere else. But the sight in front of him was a blessing, something beautiful to go work with.

Before Los Angeles, things weren’t right. He had been drown in so much self doubt and emptiness, he had forgotten things could be light, that they weren’t just ruins.

This bright young thing in front of him was a blessing, and his life was turning off in his arms as he hide them from whoever was trying to kill them.

“Ry?”

“Not dead yet.”

Shane sighed, his chuckle sounded strange even to him. Like a sob.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, baby…”

They were just running now, Ryan always so brave was running away from the scene with him, who has always been a coward. He wished he would had given him something else. Hope, perhaps. Hope and bravery in the shore of their lives.

2

Ryan had a theory. A stupid one. Like every theory in every case of their supernatural segment. But it was all they had.

“I think we are in a movie.”

“I’ll kill you myself if we weren’t being chased by a maniac that thinks he is Jason.” TJ answered, Devon started to cry harder at his side.

“No, I mean it!” Ryan said, Shane kept driving, trying to cancel the sound of his voice.

They were all stressed and scared as hell, of course Ryan would lose it at some point. It was common for the mind to try and explain, a form of escapism when it feels like there’s nowhere to run.

But the entrance to the cabins they had been left in was right ahead and Shane sighed, driving as fast as he could to reach it and say goodbye to this hell.

“None of us remember how we got here because we fell asleep as normal in our rooms. Hell, does anyone actually knows where we are?”

“Drugs, kidnapping…”

“Teej, please. You said it yourself, the sensation of being watched? It’s because we are! It’s a movie!”

“Ryan come on!” TJ said, sounding more angry every time. They finally passed the entrance and Shane sighed, driving as fast.

“And the way people talked to us! Dialogues! They don’t know what to say when we ask different things that aren’t part of the script, the killer can find and reach us even when he goes so slow, we can see in the dark because there’s light enough for the scene to be seen—“

“Guys,” He tried to interrupt, the road was open again, rocks instead of pavement.

“We’ve been dying like in a slasher movie: the adult, the kids that had sex, the smart one, and now…”

“Guys…”

“Christ, fucking fuck, Ryan!”

“I’m the jock, TJ you are the badass, Shane is the nerd and Devon is the final girl!”

“Guys!”

By the time they finally shut up, they were passing the cabins again. The same body they left behind was there, the lights, the other cars. He drove away in silence, faster, faster, faster until they passed the entrance again.

There was a sense of dread in the car, it felt like a graveyard, these ruined fragments of people they had become, with its silence and darkness.

And then, the road opened and they passed the cabins again.

6

“I got another theory.”

“Shoot.”

Their clothes were damp, Ryan’s shoulder looking worse than a few minutes ago and they were walking aimlessly in the grass when they saw a barn on the other side.

In silence, they walked towards it as most of Ryan’s weight was on Shane’s body and the man kept their hands joined.

“What if when we die, we go back to the real world?” He suggested, Shane looked at him. “Since we fulfilled our part in the story and all.”

“At this point, Ry, I believe in everything.”

In another life, Ryan’s laugh would have been sarcastic, tonight was happy and hopeful. Shane didn’t dare to tell him he didn’t think so, these fragments of stolen moments hitting their ruins were theirs to enjoy for as long as they were able and Shane loved him, he loved Ryan too much to take his hope away.

“Maybe we can make it.” Shane said. “We’ve seen all Friday the 13th movies, right? We can kill this bitch.”

Ryan laughed again, this time seeing a bit more alive. They were close to the barn now, when the door opened and from it, Katie’s head popped, looking frightened but very much alive even if covered in mud and blood.

They stopped walking, holding each other up. He wondered if they were thinking the same, of how if this was a movie, the ruins they had become were not to survive.

But when Katie went out with a big smile, waving at them without saying a word, obviously trying to not catch anyone else’s attention… Her smile was so big, full of relief, Shane couldn’t hate her even just a little bit.

“The final girl.” Ryan murmured.

Shane nodded. “These fragments I have shored against my ruins…” Ryan looked up at him, now fearless but so profoundly sad. “Keep rolling, sweetheart.”

They met Katie at the door and immediately went in.

They were not gonna make it.