#bUT UHHH YEAH NO ENDED UP BEING P ACCURATE

[deathfavor]

WHAT COLOUR DOES YOUR LOVE FEEL LIKE?

deep, staining red

Ripped out confessions, warm velvety whispers and a heart like an open wound. Your love flows out like dripping blood, beautiful, flawed and twisted. It's gut wrenching, the type of painfully dramatic feeling that makes you clutch your chest, picturing dramatic monologues about love and loving and big screen over the top scenes of sobbing into your pillow until you fall asleep. It rips out of you, clawing it's way up your throat more so than tumbling out. Sticky words that just need to be let out, feelings so big they don't fit inside you. Your love isn't easy, it's a true bloody mess, dripping and staining everything it touches in a desperate attempt to be seen, to be felt, to be loved back. And you, you love so hard, so deeply, so much for someone who carries all that pain. Atlas holding up the world, how are you? Is your love still flowing? Is your heart still open? Still pumping and bleeding and dripping with blood and tears? Still painting your beautiful pictures and writing your love letters in deeply personal red ink? Because I see them, I read them, I love them and you, you, you, you. Clench your chest, scream your love, cry it out. Spill your words of loving, keep your heart beating, keep your love coming and paint the entire world red with it. Make it in your image, keep going, it's okay. Maybe one day the whole world can be red and loved and beautiful just like you.

dark stormy blue

Sinking ships, raging seas and tumultuous hearts, love isn't easy for you. It's a struggle, a constant inner fight of should I? Can I? Do I? Feelings are hard and they rumble inside you in a dissatisfied mess that begs to be let out. Your heart screams and cries inside you and you... You can't, you won't. You're scared. And love is scary, it's hard and sometimes it just doesn't work out. People leave, people hurt, people change their minds. And you and your cold stormy heart yearn for the calmness, for the distance, to be allowed and able to simply not feel. And yet, you do. It rages, it fights and storms inside you and you try to keep it down, keep it quiet, to feel pretending not to. It's the burn of childhood friends growing apart, of parents that aren't quite there, of relationships that burn out. So you snuff it down with water, cold and calming and blue, blue, blue. But being loved by you is blue too, just not in that way. It's the soothing, embracing feeling of floating, the moment when you sink down bellow the waves and become one with the water, with everything. It's the balance, the dramatic yet calming sound of waves that crash against a rocky shore. You're the good and the bad, the violence of the storm and the watery peace right after. You're the blue, blue feeling and loving you is watery tears, yelled confessions that no one will hear and burying your feelings in a deep watery grave never to be found out about. Your love is dark stormy blue, it's vast and deep and all encompassing, it's safety in the surface of danger, it's trusting the unruly abyss and yet I'd gladly risk drowning just to feel what it's like being loved by you.

i stole this from my old blog when i did chrollo’s, so feel free to take it! 

Chrollo’s under the cut bc, well i did his before.

cold stark gold

Fireworks, borrowed lighters and sparklers against a dark backdrop, yours is a love that burns stark and bright. It's scary though, like things that burn always tend to be, but for you it isn't the thrill of the open flames that gives pause and a slight stomach drop of terror, but rather the time when the flames go out, the sparkler ends and the night is cold and dark once again. Fireworks, borrowed lighters, a striken match, your love burns bright and fast and then maybe it passes, maybe the feeling dies out and you're left in the cold once again. And that's the feeling isn't it? Of being bored and waiting for someone to light you up again? To be fair, you do know you don't need it, but then again we don't often crave the things we need. And you crave and yearn and burn in the wait, restless in the knowledge that at some point someone will pass and rub you the right way, that some day you'll light up the night sky bright yet again. There's comfort in the darkness and solace in the predictable loneliness of the in between, but your heart still squirms inside you, waiting and willing and begging to burn up again. Your love might not be comfort, it's not one for the sick days, but then again, there's a reason why everyone waits for the shining lights in the sky during holidays.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #277

“i think we could reach heaven if we go through hell”

What are you currently listening to? "Heaven" by Solence. Has your father met the boy you currently love? I don’t love a guy, just his memory. I don’t think it’s accurate to say “yeah I love him” when I haven’t spoken to/associated with him since one talk in 2017. Are you closer with your siblings or cousins? My sisters. I barely ever see/talk to my cousins at all. How many people have you really fallen for? Two. Next event you’ll wear a dress to: Probably not ‘til my sister’s wedding next year. Why did you last cry? Oh god it’s so cheesy but it was during the Unus Annus video where Mark, Ethan, and Amy were out in the desert watching Neowise and just talking about life and shit. I legit sat in silence just thinking for a while after I finished it. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? Shit, not even 10 minutes. Sometimes not even five. I don’t do anything special at all, just get dressed, brush teeth, and comb my hair. Would you ever take back someone after they cheated? Nnnnope. How many arguments have you had with the last person you dated? Well considering we jumped back and forth from hating each other to being friends like five times as kids,,,, lmao. But on a serious note, it’s rare now. I don’t exactly count arguments tho. Do you want to see somebody right now? I wanna hang with Sara so bad mayn. Do you get distracted easily? YEAH. Do you think that someone has feelings for you? Yeah. Do you still talk to the person that you last kissed? On the daily. Are you easy to get along with? I think so. I’m chill with such a variety of people that you know you can be free of judgment. The only thing you’d have to understand is how quiet I am and that it does not equate to me being disinterested in you or anything, as people have apparently thought. Have you ever had a pet goldfish? As a kid. Has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes? Yeah. Are you short? I’m of an average height for someone my gender, age, and nationality or whatever it’s called. Is there anything stressing you out currently? bruuuuuhhhhh I am ALWAYS stressed about something. What’s something that you cannot wait for? This fucking pandemic to end. Just wear your goddamn masks and stay in your fucking houses ‘n shit and maybe we’ll move forward. What was your favorite grade? So it’s super ironic: 7th. Which is when my depression manifested. I just have a lot of good memories with excellent teachers and friends. Are you afraid of shots? “Fear” is the wrong word for it, but there’s certainly a tense feeling before you get one. It’s not the needle that really hurts, it’s whatever medicine is being injected. Always stings. Were you an adorable baby? I was tbh, but I had nothing on my little sister. Nicole was so fucking cute. Are you happy with who you’re becoming? No. Do you want children? No. Do you change your phone background a lot? Not “a lot,” no. Would you rather take a relationship really slow or really fast? Definitely really slow. Really fast is nooot my style. I mean, neither is very slow, but I’d definitely prefer it and feel more secure in it. When applying eyeliner, which eye do you do first? Uhhh I think left? I do this so rarely that I don’t really know lol. How many exes have you talked to today? One. Are you tan? lol hell no. I never have been. Do you use any acne medication? I use a facial scrub to exfoliate and prevent acne, does that count? Is anybody in your family schizophrenic? If so, what is their life like? My half-sister I’ve never met. I know almost nothing about her so can’t answer the second question. Are you likely to crack under peer pressure? Not really, no. Are you emotional or very stoic? I’m emotional as hell. How many states have you lived in? North Carolina has kept me hostage my whole life. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Yeah. Who did you last say “I love you” to? Me mum. How do you want to die? Eek, idk man. Part of me says fast as to avoid pain or a gradual, torturous decline in health, but at the same time I want my life to conclude after like… accepting it and not taking my last days for granted. I also don’t want the sudden surprise on my loved ones. Are you scared of spiders? Okay, so this is very situational. If a spider surprises me, I’m most likely going to gasp/scream/curse and try to get away. However, I find them very, very fascinating to watch and are beautiful and some even cute in their own right. I respect their existence and position in the ecosystem. I’ve held a tarantula before and even want two (… or ten) as a pet, so I can’t be THAT scared of them. Oh, and I’m much more likely to be spooked by ones with long legs and particularly small bodies. Idk, it’s weird. Do you have trust issues? fuck YES I do. Who/what was your last dream about? I know Jason was in it, but that’s no surprise. I remember someone randomly trying to kill me again lmao. Who was the last person you cried in front of? I’m sure it was Mom. Who was your last text from? Sara. Do you usually sleep with your closet door open or closed? The fuck is wrong with you if you sleep with it open?????????????? Have you ever "done it" in a hotel room? No. I don’t think we were ever in a hotel together, and besides, it’s p gross imho. I can’t say for sure I wouldn’t lmao but I hope I wouldn’t. Have you ever stolen a street sign before? No, that’s never made sense to me? My sister stole a traffic cone once tho lmao. She legit just wanted to do something sketchy. Highkey badass, amirite. Are you reading any books right now? I’m very slowly reading Wings of Fire: The Dark Secret by Tui T. Sutherland. I’m going through one of my junctures of little reading again, even though I’m enjoying the book as I do with the series. Who was the last person to send you a friend request on Facebook? Some dude I had no mutual friends with or anything. How recently did you wash your hands? Last time I went to the bathroom. Did the last person you kissed have facial hair? No. Who is the most intelligent person you know? Girt. Do you have younger siblings? If you do, are you protective of them? I have one sister younger by two years, and I’d kill for her even if we’re not all that close. What are the other members of your household doing at this moment? I’ve actually been home alone for around two weeks now and am MIRACULOUSLY doing totally fine. My mom had to take an urgent flight to NY because her mom is dying. Sadly much slower than they expected. She’s not in pain due to medicine, but nevertheless, it’s torture for her. She can't do anything. Do you have any neighbors that you don't get along with? Not really, but there is someone to our right that constantly has music playing outside, and sometimes it’s annoying. In the past week, have you slept past midday? No. I can’t remember the last time I did that. Name the last song that made you cry. “Lovely” by Billie Eilish, I think. It reminded me of Jason. Do you use Twitter? Not really, no. I only ever check it to look at Mark’s lmao what a shocker. The last time something scared you, what was it? One of my nightmares last night. A huge spider was hurrying towards my face from the wall and I actually scrambled out of bed irl, therefore nearly passing out bc I can't get up fast w/o getting extremely dizzy, oof. Who was your first best friend? Brianna. Are you still friends anymore? On Facebook, anyway. We haven’t talk-talked in many years. Who is your best friend right now? Sara. How old were you when you found out what sex was? I was in the 4th or 5th grade, whatever age you are then. I definitely learned later than most, it seems. Had no idea until sex ed in school. Name one quirk you have that drives people crazy? I pace badly, and I’ve been told by numerous people it makes them anxious. Who is your favorite Disney villain? Probably Scar. You gotta admit his scheme was pretty clever, and he had a BUMPIN song. Would you have children if a surrogate could carry it for you? No, I still wouldn’t. Do you have an account for any social platform that you rarely/never use? Yeah, like Twitter. What do you most frequently take photos of? Nature. Do you ever wear hats? What does your favorite hat look like? No. Have you tried any foods or drinks for the first time today? Which? No. Does anyone close to you smoke cigarettes? My dad. What was the last song you heard, that made you feel nostalgic? Motionless In White recently covered "Somebody Told Me" by The Killers. Is it awkward when you run into your ex? I don’t run into any of them. Do you prefer pasta, salad, or coleslaw? Oh, totally pasta. Coleslaw is fucking disgusting. Do you think any of your exes will eventually want to be with you again? I hope. Would you rather pierce your tongue or lip? I have a vertical labret and did have snake eyes, and I adore(d) both; however, I prefer my lip ring. It’s like, a part of my identity by now lmao. Last time you were attacked by an animal? I don’t think an animal has ever seriously hurt me, instead only through playing too rough. I get scratches from Roman every now and again from it. How many times have you been engaged (if any at all)? Never. Have you ever been called something and you didn’t know what it meant? So one of the most embarrassing things I’ve ever done is accidentally agree to being a martyr, because at the time, I thought it only meant like, you’d die for what you stand for, which in most serious cases, I would. I didn’t know that wasn’t the kind he meant; he meant I was trying to make shit all about me and throw a pity party about the breakup. I didn’t learn that was the “common day” definition until a long time after when I was no longer in contact with this person. Are your eyes sensitive to sunlight? VERY VERY VERY. Have you ever been busted for underage drinking? No. Do you have a picture of you and your lover kissing? I don’t have a “lover.” Have you witnessed a fight at school? So shortly after returning to class in the 10th grade, a girl deadass got stabbed in the neck during a fight nearby my classroom. I (nor my classmates) actually saw it, just heard. Safe to say the assailant was expelled, and the other girl was lucky to have her throat missed, though that was apparently what the other girl was aiming for. She went to the hospital of course, and that’s all I know. Who did you last get into a big argument with? Probably Mom. Do you drink lots of water? Sigh, no. What was the worst feeling you last felt? Before my last period I had a day of such bad cramping that I decided to go back on birth control. I originally started it for that but stopped to see how it would affect my mood, and now I absolutely need it back. Interested in anyone at the moment? Yeah. Do you know people with your last name that you aren't related to? Besides historical people, no. Are you guilty of texting while driving? ”I don’t drive, but I am so against doing that. Please don’t. It only takes a second of distraction for something to go wrong. Keep your eyes on the damn road.” <<<< This right fuckin here. Have you ever caused a lot of noise in a library? No. What was the last thing that completely took your breath away? I don’t know. When playing rock, paper, scissors which do you usually pick? Uhhh I think scissors? Have you ever tried to write a book? Yes, but they’re all projects I abandoned. Have you ever been hit by a chunk of hail? Not that I recall, no. Do you have high standards? Honestly yes when it comes to relationships (which is what I assume you’re talking about). Have you ever changed your clothes while in a vehicle? Yeah. Do you know how to snap your fingers? Uh, yeah. Do you plan your outfits for the next day or just randomly choose? I choose on the spot, usually. Are you a bossy person? Definitely not. Is it true that if you don’t love yourself, you can’t love another? I fucking hate that statement. It’s absolute bullshit.

[tydy-the-megnet]

Let's Watch Captain Marvel

Alrighty. It's definitely late, but I finally got the DVD. So, I'm watching Captain Marvel.

I've decided to make this post about it, which I will write as I go, because I've seen a lot of discussion about the movie without actually hearing about what happens in it... so uh... yeah. Here are my thoughts as I think them:

Brie Larson looks good with long hair. Also, is Carol bleeding blue...? I want to know what that's about and if it's important

Movie is said to take place in the 90s. Space still already has flying cars. I guess Star Wars wasn't not accurate

Listen Sensei dude, if there is one thing I've learned from anime, emotions only make you stronger.

"You gave me these" *shakes fists* is that literal? Like did Mr Sensei really give her fists or is that referring to her powers...? I know nothing of Captain Marvel

He's talking about controlling impulses again. He clearly hasn't seen any anime

The Skrull are the shapeshifters yeah?

... amnesia...?

Now the supreme intelligence (god ai???) Is also talking about controlling her emotions. I still don't buy it.

Mission time. Digging the banter

"I laugh on the inside. I'm not doing that now."

Hm, not sure how I feel about the helmet thing

Hard light scuba gear? That's cool

I'm digging the kinda star wars vibe

Captain listen to your CO but also dont listen to him at all

Yeah the skrull are the shapeshifters everything makes sense now

Wait is her name Veers? Or is that what she's called just because she doesn't remember who she is?

AIR FORCE YEAH

GO KARTS YEAH

GO KART NO

More of this "too emotional" stuff?

Goose!

Digging the whole mental probe thing.

*Tries percussive maintain on a person*

"I dont know any Dr Larson"

So that had me confused bc I was like "Wasnt her name Danvers?" But Larson is the actress and I guess that's just a character????

Do I have the two backwards?

Skrull: *snarls*

Captain: *snarls back*

I like her

She fights like an anime character while everyone else is an 80s sci-fi movie

Get the boots!!!

And touchdown! Planet C-53! Locally known as Earth!

I guess Captain Marvel could be called a blockbuster hit in-universe and out huh?

I'm hilarious

Honey in basically in the space-boonies now you got no service here lol

This poor confused security guard lol

She called across the galaxy on a pay phone...? Yeah okay cool cool

"[C-53]'s a real shithole" yeah give it 30 years or so it gets worse

Okay why do people not like Captain Marvel?

She's like a mix of Tony, Thor, and Steve

Is that... Coulson? Young Coulson!?

YOUNG FURY!

I don't think that was young Coulson after all...

Or is it?

Idek

TRAIN FIGHT

Why are these bystanders trying to stop Veers(?) from fighting this obviously not normal old lady?

What kinda old lady can flip like that?

TRAIN FIGHT 2, ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

oh it was Young Coulson!

Poor Coulson

Damn, Nick

*uses AltaVista*

So it's later 90s. Got it.

Lmao dial-up

I guess they're in california?

Lmao dial-up

Ah so this is the motorcycle scene I've heard about. Apparently they cut the part where she nearly breaks the guy's fingers? Disappointing.

The skrull aren't carbon-based life forms that's so cool!

Not on the periodic table...? Let's see, in the 90s... I guess stuff like rutherfordium and onward wouldn't be on there. Uh, maybe technetium? There might be a couple others but for the most part chemistry was advanced enough.

Unless it's something beyond like 118. Which is weird to think about but whatever I should stop thinking about it

Except elements like that would have to be in group 14 yeah?

Biology isnt exactly my forte but

Okay perhaps it's what we now know as flerovium?

The elements in the carbon group should react similarly enough to be the foundation of an entire life form

That's why silicon is used for synthetic stuff a lot right?

And tin

I'm getting off track the movie has been paused for a few minutes now

I'm just going to assume they are flerovium-based life forms

Oh shit they're in SHIELD

So Pegasus is a flight team, or an AF division, or....?

"I don't know if this guy is really human. I'd better ask a bunch of questions to which I don't know the answer."

A skrull could be saying random words and it would totally work

"If toast is cut diagonally I can't easy it."

Why the heck not??????

"That was a photon blast" is that what that is? Awesome

I want Peter to meet her. I think he'd have a new contender for favorite

"A skrull can't do that. " how is he supposed to know that?

Young and slightly less suspicious Fury??

"Noble warrior heroes"

J O S E P H

NASA and USAF. Sweet.

"State-of-the-art two-way pager"

Ah the old tape-and-fingerprint trick. Haven't seen that since the 90s--oh

GOOSE

Fury meeting Goose is the purest scene in marvel

"you sat there and watched me play with tape?" Lmao

"Shes kookoo" "Kree glyphs" ":O"

Veers was the pilot

I still don't know her sensei's name

"Excellent work, Nicholas" ":O"

LARSON WAS MAR-VELL!??!!!?!

(I know who Mar-Vell is!)

Okay okay okay

More of this "dont emotion" garbage. Listen Veers, DON'T listen

FURY FIGHT SCENE

COULSON NO

COULSON YES

"You know how to fly this thing?" "Uh" "it's a yes or no question"

GOOSE

They're going to LA

(Louisiana not Los Angeles)

Cool

Why do people not like this this is great!

She's got the worst part of Thor, but the best part of Tony and Steve!

RONIN!?!??!??!?!!?!??!?!?!??!??!:0!?!?!

AUNTIE CAROL?!?!?

(So it IS Carol Danvers. Which means Larson isn't her mother. Which makes since because she's actually Mar-Vell. Who's... well, not the mother.)

The Good Lady Ms. Captain Carol Marvel "I-Can-Boil-Tea-With-My-Bare-Hands-Which-Shoot-Lasers-Too" Danvers Ma'am

"You're jacket. Mom doesn't let me wear it anymore after I spilled ketchup on it."

I dont know this kid's name but I really really like her.

"Call me young lady again and I'll put my foot in a place it's not supposed to be."

... that one is more clever with context but whatever

"Am I supposed to guess where that is?" "Your ass"

Monika. That's the kid's name. She's great.

Ah, more ancient relics they call "tech" lol

FLY TIME

Do a barrel roll

She did a barrel roll!

"Your blood is uhhh blue" "yeah but how's my hair"

Ah, "Vers" bc they assumed that was her name. Interesting.

Also I want to get super power by blowing something up that's way cooler than being bitten by a stupid spider

Is she human? Is she not? I've no clue

The skrull are the good guys. Things are starting to make sense again.

... maybe I should've pushed to watch this before far from home.

... huh.

... is she human?

Okay so I'm still a little confused but I think I got it.

Though I won't say I dont want something else to blow up

"Those aren't coordinates they're orbital vectors." "It's basic physics." "Couldnt you figure that out? You're my science guy."

"I just think you should consider what kind of example you're setting for your daughter." That's it. That's the best line in the whole movie. Time to go.

Her suit can change colors on a whim!?!

That's awesome

I DIG THE NEW LOOK

I mean I saw it in Endgame but

"How do I look?" "Fresh" lmao 90s

RONIN NO

GOOSE YES

"What's a cat?" xD

"Why would I turn into a filing cabinet?"

Space lab. Cool.

Is that the tesseract??

THAT'S THE TESSERACT

She can pick it up!!

Does that mean she could've wielded the Infinity Gauntlet??????

Pinball lmao

968700!?!???!??!!?!!??!?!???!??!?!??!?!?!?

HOLY FLERKEN SHIP

GOOSE

YES CAROL

GET EMOTIONED

KICK HIS BUTT

GOOSE NOOOO

Those bastards

"Only human" HEY I RESENT THAT

THE FACT THAT YOUR HUMAN FILLS YOU WITH DETERMINATION

GOOD LADY MISS CAPTAIN CAROL MARVEL DANVERS MISS AWESOME MA'AM SENPAI SAMA

SHE'S A SUPER SAIYAN

PURE OF HEART AND AWAKENED BY FURY

(I'm still hilarious)

GOOSE DID THE THING

This is awesome why dont more people love it???

"Good kitty"

This very quickly went from Star Wars to Dragon Ball and I am loving it

She really is an anime character

Did she? Is that? Nerf gun?

Okay Carol isnt that much god mode there was just a nerd gun on the floor okay cool yeah sure

"Just like Havana" TALOS YOU BEAUTIFUL--

Remember how captain america jumped to the outside of a plane and fought through it? Yeah CM just did that in SPACE take that Steve

Still dont know how I feel about the helmet thing though

JUST LIKE BEGGAR'S CANYON BACK HOME

RONIN

Yeah, those are explosions

Ronin: O_O

Ronin: .... yeah bye

"I have nothing to prove to you."

HECK YEAH. GO CAROL. LASER HIS BUTT.

Fury lost his eye! GOOSE HE TRUSTED YOU

*thinks back to that moment in Winter Soldier*

"You were Solar and the SHIELD agent?" Omg Carol yes keep up

Fury SINGS?!?!

So like, are her powers just straight up energy manipulation? Because that's pretty cool. Really versatile, too

The way she started the engine makes it seem so

And then she just,,,,,, flies away. Into the night. Like stardust in the wind.

Dig the jacket, though

"The Protector Initiative"

It begins......

"Is it true? The Kree burned your eye out because you refused to give them the tesseract?" "I will neither confirm nor deny the facts of that story"

Lmao Fury

"CAPT CAROL "AVENGER" DANVERS"

"The Avenger Initiative"

It didnt actually show it but we know

Also, dig the music

Aaand now we see, 20ish years later, the snappening

"I wanna know who's on the other end of that thing"

First of all I love that they dont call it a pager because it's 2018 wtf is a pager amirite?

Second, I love how Carol is just there. Great reveal. 1007391861604016/10

"Where's Fury?" D:

Better question, where is Goose???

*one roll of credits later*

Oh! :D

Lmao the tesseract

God this movie is amazing

[ravenvsfox]

I know you have already done a lot of the ship posts (and they are all phenomenal and accurate af) but can you pretty please do Jesper and Wylan from six of crows/crooked kingdom? Xoxo

I’m SO sorry this took so long, you’re such an absolute sweetheart and also christ I’ve never been called an inspiration before holy.. god

also heck i love wesper this is a treat

SEND ME A SHIP AND I’LL TELL YOU… 

who is more likely to hurt the other?

don’t.. do this

they’re genuinely so good neither of them would ever TRY to hurt the other, and they’re both so tender and apologetic if they ever do. I think I’m gonna have to say jesper though just because. he’s still a little stirred by his addiction (to trouble! to bringing two guns to a gun fight! to gambling! to love!) and he’s got some jealousy and sensitivity baked into him, bless him. I feel like he’d run a risk and break Wy’s heart by accident, a little bit

who is emotionally stronger?

a genuine toughie bc they’ve both survived and persevered so MUCH. I think in terms of immediate reactionary instincts, Jes is better at letting bad vibes roll right off of him. He’s made of smiles. He’s trouble and a good time rolled into a waistcoat. If you insult him he only gets stronger. Wy was raised in silk and champagne but he was raised BY an absolute monster so. he’s a very bruised peach. criticism pierces him v easily. Though in a more fundamental way, wylan has fashioned his past trauma into a shield. by the end of ck he’s building himself new emotional strength with his bare hands

who is physically stronger?

ohhh man. They’re both noodle boys. Wylan is too smart for exercise. Jesper does his fighting at a 20 metre distance from his target. Jesper is bigger than wylan but most of his size is gangly and delightful and awkward. I think jes could probably still beat wylan in a pinch, but I’m more caught up in how funny it would be to see them try to fight it out

who is more likely to break a bone? 

man I’m tempted to say jesper just bc he seems like he would be...... brittle. I think he gets into scrapes a lot. I think wylan starts to get into p frequent scrapes by nature of being the sixth crow. I think the both of them are so busy worrying about each other’s fights that they neglect their own and trip off a building or smth

who knows best what to say to upset the other? 

I think wylan can be a nasty piece of work when he’s pissed enough. like he may be a silk eared puppy but he’ll chew your shoes and track mud around if you forget to feed him. jesper doesn’t have a malicious bone in his body man, I think he’s a sarcasm queen and a joker but he’s definitely not mean

who is most likely to apologize first after an argument? 

I think jesper’s constantly assuming he did something wrong and he sits down with wylan 100% serious like ‘babe.. im so, so sorry. I never wanted to be the sort of person who made you look sad like that, we’re past that, I truly made a promise--’ and wy would be like ‘what no I was sad bc a screw on my flute is loose and I couldn’t practice today’. but also yeah if it’s a serious fight they make up in a rush, and they laugh at themselves, and they use their energy for something better

who treats who’s wounds more often? 

here’s the thing about the crows man, they’re always sustaining minor injuries as a team and it’s a win if they live, right? All I can picture is the roar of activity when they pull off a job and they come back limping and bleeding and swearing and crowing w joy, and jes and wy take their seats opposite each other and clean wounds, kiss foreheads, smooth back sweaty curls, squeeze hands, make promises. the routine, u kno

who is in constant need of comfort? 

uhhh both of them (it’s always both my guy jot that down). Wylan has 16 years of shitty imposed self loathing to unlearn, and traumatic experiences all over him. jes has lost a lot (including his mom) and he struggles with addiction so like. yeah they both need comfort. they both wake up w the phantom feeling of a mother’s arms around their shoulders. they’ve both seen the very worst of humanity. They’re just two nervy, high stress kids trying to figure things out

who gets more jealous? 

lmao WYLAN VAN ECK did y’all read his scenes in crooked kingdom that boy is NOT SHARING. he glared real holes in kuwei’s head guys. jesper tbh is a terrible flirt and a HANDFUL and wylan is happy. to have his hands full. no one else.

who’s most likely to walk out on the other? 

mmm nahhh

who will propose? 

u bet ur ASS it’ll be jesper. Imagine wylan’s blushing face...... he’d do it for that alone. tbh there’s probably a point in their relationship where jesper’s outrageous flirting isn’t enough to get that pretty blush from wylan like he’ll roll his eyes and shove jes in the shoulder and w/e but they have to have increasingly ridiculous conversations about kinks or w/e until that blush comes out. jesper’s like ‘dang. guess I gotta step up the romance. what’s the most romantic thing? marriage? marrying wylan? son absolutely where do i sign’

who has the most difficult parents?

lmao lm a o lmaooo Lmao LMAO lmao

who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? 

I feel like depending on the social climate of Ketterdam, hand holding might not be on the table?? especially for two criminals associated w the bastard of the barrel like idk man I can’t picture it. they don’t want to draw attention to themselves (well i mean. jes wants to. but they can’t). I think they’re all about sly glances and the most obvious smirks you’ve ever seen, and brushing shoulders!! brushing shoulders are their makeouts

who comes up for the other all the time? 

they’re always together man bf’s that blow shit up together and live together stay together so like they rarely have the opportunity to talk about each other. howEVER jesper probably mentions his boyfriend in the middle of a hand of poker w an inappropriate smile or gushes to w/e prisoner he’s breaking out of jail or makes Kaz’s day weird by trying to confide in him

who hogs the blankets? 

wylan is exhausted w luxury and jesper is a child who wants to be held so he rolls over and then over again so that wy always wakes up to a lapful of boyfriend and a roll of blankets and he has to wait for jesper’s heavy sleeper ass to arise so he can get up to pee 

who gets more sad? 

booooth -- jesper is understated sad with a side of unnerving frowns, wylan is a wobbling mouth and clenched fists. Sometimes they stay in the Wylan Van mansion and lock the doors so the maids can’t come in, and they bring the lavish decorative pillows into a heap on the carpet and feed each other sweets and rub each others backs and laugh and laugh the darkness away. wylan sketches. jesper poses. there’s scheming & kaz impressions. jesper is a storyteller and he imagines out loud what nina or inej are up to at that very minute, controlling gravity and hearts and the sea and their lives 

who is better at cheering the other up? 

see above ^^ they both go pro at the comfort olympics. Jesper is that little bit better though. He’s a sweetheart with all the right words in his pockets. He knows how to chop wylan’s dad down like the overgrown dead tree that he is. he knows how to flirt a smile onto wy’s face. he maybe lacks delicacy sometimes, but he’s so fun and wholehearted and warm that he can’t really go wrong

who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?

this is canon y’all, jesper is a lecherous bastard and wylan is equal parts disdain and delight. he absolutely will slap a boy

who is more streetwise?

god bless wylan but he knows a hell of a lot less about the streets than jes. He’s learning fast by the end of ck, but he’s still very sheltered in a lot of ways. Jesper has a few years under his belt, and he’s.. like tbh he’s a part of a gang so. He’s seen a lot. He’s participated in a lot. He has a pretty steep list of kills, same as every other survivor out there. He’s detached from the deaths but he’s been on the other side of a lot of bullets that have crumpled people up and thrown them in the trash. He knows his business, too. He knows Ketterdam. Well. Wy knows the half of it Kaz wants him to see.

who is more wise?

Wylan is utterly brilliant and Jesper is wholeheartedly here for it. What was that line again? ‘you’re cuter when you’re smart’? Wylan can think his way out of just about anything, the world belongs to him. jsyk

who’s the shyest? 

Wylan absolutely what a sweetie. I mean a lot of it stems from unfortunate self esteem issues and a history of being burnt but a lot of it is pure soul deep candy sweet embarrassment and not knowing what to do w his own cute face. He doesn’t know how to deal w people a lot of the time. he knows sheet music & formulas. he does not know how to look at a boy with beautiful lips all curled up at him and not pass out

who boasts about the other more? 

jesper is loudmouthed usually and he’s that much more loudmouthed when he’s in love, catch him talking to anyone who will listen about wy’s stupid face 

who sits on who’s lap? 

jesper would definitely try it, don’t even test him, he would fold all his crane limbs into wylan’s lap and say ‘hello peaches’ and wylan would have to slide both of them onto the floor to escape his embarrassment. on a good day, jes’ll scoop wylan into his lap and he’ll feel quiet, for a while

[bwicblog]

WEEKLY RP PROMPT 2

It's summer, and that means blockbuster season has officially hit! The latest in troll Star Wars (The Second in the Trilogy of the Story In Which A Young Troll Fights a False Empire to Restore The Old Republic) now has a date. The sequel to the prize-winning Aquatic Horrorterrors Ascend to Consume the Planet and are Valiantly Fought by Mechanical Hoofbeasts has just been released. The Fleetside Entertainer’s Guild is hard at work to entertain the masses, but there's been an error this half-sweep. The latest piece of not one, but two major rainbow-drinker franchises have just been released, and the planet is going absolutely mad.

Every theatre, minor and major, is featuring JOURNALS OF AN IMMORTAL ANCESTRAL RAINBOWDRINKER, or the latest TROLL TWILIGHT. Every news network is covering them. Social media is filled with brawls between TEAM LESTAT and TEAM EDWARD, and worse yet, every FLARPing convention is suffering from a sudden surplus of players sporting fake fangs and jade. Have your trolls been caught up in the chaos? Do they have opinions, or are they just waiting for the madness to end?

 ID: quick someone fill me in on what a lestat is.

SA: a character of significant rainbow drinker fiction.

ID: and why people are fucking fighting over it- oh.

SA: hadean did you know google can be your friend too.

SA: because it can.

SA: just as it is my friend.

SA: 😃

ID: pris i could smack your smartmouth off of you sometimes. =:P

WC: ~(He's a drinker who's not quite up to the times) WC: ~(Really quite handsome~!)

ID: it's called starting a conversation.

SA: ❤

SA: Oh, do you read the series, WC?

WC: ~(And then Edward is uh) WC: ~(Creepy ^^)

ID: is edward his mate or.

ID: his kismesis maybe?

WC: ~(I've seen the movies, but I don't have much time to read I'm afraid ono)

WC: ~(No, Edward is a different series entirely)

ID: how many rainbowdrinker series do we need. =:I

WC: ~(Though the author of Lestat's saga keeps having people culled for writing stories about it)

SA: until everyone has their unsettling fly by night romances fulfilled.

ID: hahahah woowwww.

SA: that's horrific.

WC: ~(Come to think of it I think she may have also joined the church........)

WC: ~(A sad end to a good looking drinker story (─n─) )

SA: they... joined the church...

WC: ~(Uh huh)

WC: ~(It was weird)

ID: figures.

ID: you'd think rainbowdrinkers would be considered overplayed by now.

WC: ~(And then the Edward series author is also kind of insane) WC: ~(But at least she doesn't cull people for fanfiction)

SA: Didn't her series inspire 50 shades.

WC: ~(Surprisingly they're not) WC: ~(But then again, they DO tend to be kind of pretty)

WC: ~(WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT)

SA: oh.

SA: okay.

WC: ~(>-< !!!!!!!)

ID: i mean. they're not all pretty.

SA: i see it is a source of agony for you. Ia pologize.

ID: some of them look like. nosferatu.

WC: ~(Have you ever seen a drinker in a movie that wasn't super hot) WC: ~(People are very biased towards the pretty)

WC: ~(Well, more recent movies) WC: ~(They used to be quite a bit scarier looking!)

ID: i think the older movies depicted them more accurately.

WC: ~(Then everyone wanted the dark and brooding trolls apparently)

WC: ~(Troll Edward also watches people while they sleep) WC: ~(Ugh)

WC: ~(I'd beat someone with a wrench for that.......)

SA: Oh like me.

ID: that's fucking sketchy as fuck.

ID: ...

SA: I assocate with this character already.

SA: I am joking

ID: pris.

SA: it is a joke.

WC: ~(Are you going to watch me while I sleep SA)

ID: oh.

ID: you're a hard one to read sometimes pris.

SA: But not always, and that's just enough for me to not be immensely unsettling 24/7.

SA: No, I will not watch you sleep, WC.

WC: ~(Well, I'll just inform ID we have company then ~u^)

WC: ~(Uh) WC: ~(The not Hadean ID) WC: ~(Man that's still so weird)

ID: ahahah i guess i fit in even wearing em's shirt now. everyone is wearing jade it seems like.

ID: yeah, well. i'm not changing my tag. =:P

WC: ~(Oh, please don't! It's quite nice!)

WC: ~(It just feels weird because ID hates being called by his name so he's just ID)

SA: what a strange thing to be bothered by.

SA: 😦

ID: oh. well, my name rocks so. call me by it all you want.

WC: ~(It just takes some getting used to)

SA: yes. if you want bonus points, make sure you call him professor hadeon.

WC: ~(Your name does rock, I agree)

WC: ~(Professor?)

SA: much like gliese is the dean of clown university.

WC: ~(Oh my god what)

ID: hahahah here we go.

SA: I have orange juice and i have never been better right now.

WC: ~(Is it orange juice or orange faygo)

SA: it's orange juice because faygo is for plebians.

WC: ~(Because you're sounding like quite the mirthful posterchild)

SA: a yellowblood associating with the cult would be a deathwish.

WC: ~(Faygo is for plebians) WC: ~(I think we're going to get along well ^^)

ID: faygo tastes like plastic and regrets so.

SA: fanta is much better.

WC: ~(It tastes like pure sugar)

WC: ~(Now Tab on the other hand)

ID: the fuck is a fanta.

WC: ~(I take it you haven't seen the commercials)

ID: i don't watch stuff.

SA: They are very catchy.

SA: isn't tab just a knockoff.

WC: ~ (https://youtu.be/F614uU3DsqM?t=14s)

WC: ~(For some reason I could only find one in a different language?)

SA: las fantas son muy divertida.

ID: so that's why you like fanta, huh pris? =:P

SA: No, that's not at all why I like fanta.

WC: ~(Hehe if you say so!) WC: ~(I don't speak whatever language that is I'm afraid)

WC: ~(Fanta is alright, but it's a bit too fruity for me)

SA: strawberry is the best.

SA: also why did you say it like that, Hadean...

ID: it was a joke pris.

SA: are you implying i am attracted to lowbloods in skanty clothes singing about sugary drinks.

SA: if so the answer is yes.

WC: ~(Oh my!)

SA: (the answer is actually no)

WC: ~(Scandalous!)

ID: pffttt.

ID: i don't drink soda. i just drink water.

SA: You could be a fanta singer in your renfaire outfit.

SA: Nothing else? just water?

WC: ~(I did see chainmail bikinis there) WC ~(So anything is possible!)

WC: ~(Chainmail bikinis.......why.........)

ID: ah yes. my dreams of being a face for a soda company will come true.

ID: i mean. water is free.

ID: and i have yet to find a soda river to drink out of.

SA: you can't just... drink river water.

SA: it could have the ecol.i s.

ID: look at me. drinking river water.

ID: and rain barrel water.

SA: I am going to strangle you.

ID: and sometimes puddles.

SA: oh, chainmail bikinis. My favorite is the leia outfit. I see that a lot at inappropriate times.

WC: ~(I wonder what the blueprints for a homebrew water purifier would look like)

WC: ~(Hmmmm)

SA: Hadean >:'(

WC: ~(Well I know what I'm doing tonight, thanks for the idea~)

ID: anytime i guess.

SA: they make tabs for it, too.

ID: when you're thirsty water is water pris.

ID: bugs in it is just. extra protein. =:P

ID: and dirt is minerals!

WC: ~(I suppose there's worse things in the world than dirty water)

WC: ~(Where do you live?)

ID: i travel. so. everywhere.

WC: ~(Oooh exciting!)

WC: ~(I travel too! But not very often. I'm busy a lot!)

WC: ~(What's your favorite place you've been so far?)

ID: uhhh. found a really pretty waterfall once. looked like it came out of a fucking painting. spent a while there, plenty of stuff to eat around there. that was probably my favorite. nice and empty.

WC: ~(Oh that sounds wonderful) WC: ~(Where was it?)

ID: i don't really do maps. so.... way far east.

SA: what is it you do, WC? SA: do you have any photos, Hadean/

WC: ~(Hmmmm) WC: ~(Time to do some exploring next time I'm out there!)

WC: ~(I work with machines)

ID: i dunno, i'd have to look around and get back to you pris. what sort of machines?

WC: ~(Building, blueprints, parts transfer) WC: ~(All that good stuff)

WC: ~(Anything, really. But my pride and joy is my ship. I built it with my own two hands)

SA: A ship?

SA: as in, for water or air or space.

WC: ~(Yep! It runs on steam with a power core backup)

WC: ~(The air)

SA: hmm.

ID: neat.

ID: as long as ti never crashes i mean.

WC: ~(I'd need a lot more material for a spaceship) WC: ~(Plus, there's the issue of working on the oxygen systems) WC: ~(I haven't figured that one out yet)

WC: ~(It's never crashed yet!)

WC: ~(That's how I get from place to place when I'm going far away)

ID: i see. i usually just ride my lusus.

WC: ~(Mine is a bit too ornery to be ridden. She'll throw you right off if she feels like it.) WC: ~(What is your lusus?)

ID: big horned hoofbeast.

WC: ~(!!!)

WC: ~(Cute!)

WC: ~( (˙❀‿❀˙))

ID: he's pretty cute, yeah.

WC: ~(Does he ever do that thing) WC: ~(Where he bumps you with his nose)

SA: do.. domestic animals do that/

WC: ~(Sure!)

WC: ~(All the time!)

WC: ~(It's how they get attention)

ID: when he wants me to scratch him or shit, yeah.

ID: or he'll just rub his head on me.

WC: ~(That's precious and I love your lusus)

WC: ~(SA, are you not around domestic animals often? :( )

SA: Oh, cats sometimes rub their heads on ankles.

SA: No, not really.

WC: ~(My Paintball does that all the time) WC: ~(He'll just rub my legs and sometimes try to trip me) WC: ~(He's adorable)

SA: I want to meet... your lusus, Hadean. Horned hoofbeast is not specific enough.

SA: I wish I could have a cat, but unfortunately.

SA: Is paintball a cat?

WC: ~(Yep~)

ID: well come by and you can meet him. bring him an apple and he'll be your friend forever.

WC: ~(ID and my other friend were covered in paint when they brought him in) WC: ~(And they had apparently been involved in a paintball war and got him out of a tree) WC: ~(So they say ;P) WC: ~(And now he's mine and I love him)

WC: ~(I can send you pictures of mine if you'd like SA)

SA: Oh, right, I'm on my way to pick up your flowers again.

SA: Please do.

SA: I love cats.

ID: sweet. do i get sushi too.

WC: ~(https://gyazo.com/e8c8dd919483d303548908110ca0d8d9)

WC: ~(Lookit!)

SA: I need six.

SA: yes, i will bring you a sushi plate.

WC: ~(If I see any kitten adoption boxes, I'll tell you!)

SA: thank you.

RS: | Oh | Are You Delivering Sushi | ? | =:P |

SA: to Hadean, yes.

SA: Oh, i left his bouqet on your patio. I apologize.

ID: i'm probably gonna clear out of this hotel room soon pris, so. we can meet up somewhere.

RS: | Oh | That's Fine | I Saw | and Put It In Water | So | RS: | They should be Healthy Enough |

SA: thank you, Pheres.

SA: Where will we meet?

ID: where ever you want pris, name the place and i'll probably find it.

SA: mmm...

SA: Let's meet near the blue section of the fair. There is lemonade I would like to try before I go.

SA: I will see you soon then?

ID: got it, lemonade at the blue circle. try not to fall asleep. =:P

SA: I am wide awake for once, thankfully.

SA: ! here is my daily exclaimation point to prove it.

ID: well damn, can't argue that logic.

ID: sushi is weird. edible, but weird.

SA: it helps if you put soy sauce on the one with just salmon and rice.

SA: hello I'm back at my hotel

DD: wait are you putting soy sauce on sushi or just rice salmon DD: because i love sushi but ive never really had a chance to try it above water and its a little hard to find it around here now that im in the desert! DD: and i guess before i mostly ate it underwater and you can imagine how trying to put a liquid condiment on anything works in that context!

DD: besides soy sauce is salty and the ocean is already all about that

ID: ....uh yeah it's sushi. why are you in the desert. that seems like the worst place for a fish.

SA: sashimi, I believe. I'm sorry you aren't able to get it where you are. Maybe if you find a city?

ID: what the fuck is sashimi.

SA: soy sauce has flabor

RS: | Fish | ! |

DD: im in a city! DD: or i guess its more like a town because i guess its pretty quaint DD: im not sure how big cities have to be but there arent even any sky scrapers here!

RS: | | I Assume | ? | =:? |

SA: no, I'm stupid. It's nigiri 🍣

DD: and the ocean has flavor too but i guess the flavor is mostly called fish excrement which sounds a lot less appealing than soy sauce

ID: what the fuck is a nigiri.

DD: though i guess i dont know what soy sauce is made of either

SA: 🍣 the little fish slices with rice on the platter I brought you

ID: ...hah. soy sauce is made out of. soy?

DD: thats called nigiri yes!

DD: soy what though?? DD: like those little cubes of fake meat i heard those are soy too

SA: a big city would be much better for fish, yes. You should try to find a port. That would be the best place.

DD: though i dont see why you would want fake meat when you can just have some nice fish

ID: so they. all have their own name? that seems confusing.

DD: i thought i was going to be in a port!!! DD: its CALLED port mina

SA: yes. Sashimi is just fish. Fresh. Nigiri is fresh fish sliced with rice.

DD: but its just desert everywhere!

ID: heyyy port port.

SA: sushi is. Sushi

SA; why do you keep calling it port port...

DD: and SA thats like saying sandwiches are sandwiches!

SA: that sounds. Horrid

DD: like sure theyre all sandwiches but its not like a fish salad sandwich is the same as a cheeseburger!

ID: mina means port or whatever.

ID: so the name means port port.

DD: wait really? DD: i thought it was like

DD: mina meenah condesce

ID: i don't know. i think i remembered right.

DD: and maybe they just didnt know how to spell

ID: i mean. why would you name a lowblood town after the condesce.

II: To honor her, presumably.

II: But perhaps it's just a coincidence.

DD: well its not really entirely a lowblood town! DD: i just met up with the nicest blueblood banker they complimented my bow! DD: and yes of course theres no need to restrict honoring our lovely sovereign to specific castes!

DD: regardless i will be one very happy travelor if i find myself some sushi as unlikely as that is! DD: i miss eel

DD: eel is the best

II: ...goodness, I just looked up that town, what on Alternia are you doing in the desert, sovereign?

DD: especially acid-fried

II: Are you lost?

ID: congrats you met the most boring of the three bluebloods there i think.

DD: ... do you think i could order some of that to go?

DD: do they deliver to deserts?

ID: assume probably not.

II: Haha! I don't think anyone delivers that far.

DD: and of course im not lost! DD: im on vacation exactly where i need to be! DD: a working vacation i guess haha because im still working but regardless its all very sanctioned and work-related

DD: just some company troubles is all

DD: and oh really?

DD: ... not even if you pay them a lot?

ID: ...what are you working on in a lowblood town.

DD: i gave myself cravings 😢

II: Oh, well. That makes sense. But it does seem potentially bad for your health.

II: I hope you don't dry out.

ID: and i mean. they can try but by the time they get to you it'd be gross probs.

DD: fancy, fancy things that i cant tell you about for reasons related to nondisclosure agreements and also the integrity of my company! DD: but mostly starship things

DD: theres a helmstraining facility out here!

DD: theyre very helpful in that regard

ID: yeahhh there sure is.

II: Oh, a helm facility? Fascinating.

SA: helmstraining facility... in port Mina.

SA: unpleasant.

II: Oh, I see now. Station 11, is that right?

DD: well no not strictly in the city but the city (town??) is the closest place to

DD: yes station 11!!!

RS: | Oh | Don't Say That | Haha | RS: | Ah | We've got People Who Work There on Here | RS: | They would be | Distressed |

DD: the closest place to station 11 with you know beds and showers and things like that

ID: don't fret about it pris.

ID: i think the station mostly keeps to itself.

DD: and oh dear why is that unpleasant? DD: much more pleasant than requiring the poor locals to travel all the way out to where *Ii usually live!!

SA: I'm not fretting but after what Gliese said about the area I am surprised there would be one there.

SA: I am only concerned about the imperial hunters.

SA: and they are preoccupied right now.

ID: it's why gliese is there pris. now hush up.

DD: um!

DD: the what now?

SA: 🤷‍♀️ nothing

II: Imperial hunters? What, like legislacerators?

DD: wow that is all very suspicious

ID: the folks he works for sometimes, chillax.

DD: but also in that kind of edgy way people our age use when they want to be cool

SA: I don't want to he cool, thank you.

DD: so i will go ahead and buy in and i assure you im very impressed!!

II: Oh, don't be unkind, DD.

II: I'd say we don't have enough information to assume that.

DD: im not being unkind! DD: ... a little bit too forward maybe! DD: my apologies i was being entirely sincere!

SA: 🙄

II: Conclusions without cause and all.

ID: pris finds stuff, it's his job.

II: I for one am intrigued.

DD: thats a very generalized job description? DD: what kinds of things do you find? DD: lost items? DD: items that are lost after you find them? DD: fears?

DD: i read the most interesting story once about a psionic

ID: whatever he gets paid to find, duh.

DD: her powers were that she could find anything! and of course the writer write the trickiest plot twist DD: she eventually defeated her greatest enemy by finding his greatest fear!

SA: people, usually.

II: ...That sounds more like an empath's ability.

DD: and oh alright thats sensical of course i was just trying to inject some DRAMA into it

SA: yes. Much more empathetic

DD: well she could find items too!

SA: empaths can also detect an emotion attached to an item

ID: op main character please nerf.

II: I don't think this person had much experience of actual psiionics, abilities don't often intersect like that.

SA: 🤷‍♀️ sounds op to me 😂

DD: well i suppose so DD: i believe the writer was jade DD: i dont suppose they get out much to see anybody when theyve got all those cavern duties and such!

DD: and what does that mean SA?

II: Overpowered.

DD: the emotions i mean!

ID: typical highbloods writing about junk they know nothing about.

ID: uh.

DD: er

II: Oh, I think SA is amused.

ID: team edward or team lestat.

DD: no i mean

DD: oh goodness this chat moves quickly

DD: what does it mean that items have emotions attached to them?

SA: yes. I'm amused.

DD: and also team edward

SA: lets go with that.

DD: definitely edward

II: ...what

DD: also also i dont think a jadeblood really qualifies for a highblood haha

II: What are we even talking about now

RS: | ! | ! | Why Edward | ? |

DD: theyre just barely halfway!

II: Who are these trolls

ID: i'm rust, everything is high. =:P

II: Lestat and Edward

ID: man ii, get with the movies.

II: I'm usually too busy to go to the cinema, alas.

DD: well hes so romantic isnt he rs??? DD: he goes so far to show his dedication to his matesprit and oh

DD: i would love to have a matesprit that loves me that much

DD: sigh

RS: | It is a Delightful Media Chain | II | ! | RS: | Or | Er | Two |

SA: watching them sleep?

DD: (i would also love to have some smoked eel but i suppose we cant always get what we want)

SA: who are we talking about.

RS: | And | Oh | Haha | RS: | Yes | He is Rather Romantic | But | RS: | Isn't Lestat Moreso | ? |

RS: | Consider | His Dedication | ! |

SA: I thought Lestat was an utter prick

DD: to protect them!! DD: and because he just cant keep himself away DD: he is enamored

II: ...that sounds frankly disturbing, is this movie supposed to be a PSA about what to avoid in quadrants?

SA: perhaps.

DD: what no of course not!!!

SA: have you heard of its sequel? Fifty shades?

SA: 😂

DD: have you never considered that a quadrant might need protection??

II: Oh, _that._ I only know it because the firm gossiped about it.

II: It sounds dreadful.

DD: and oh my goodness DD: somebody lent me that book once!

DD: i er

DD: did not expect it to be about that kind of thing!

II: Any quadrant of mine would be quite capable of protecting themselves, without me having to _stare_ at them during the day, goodness.

ID: 50 shades, some dumb little rust gets manipulated to fuck by a highblood. unhealthy as fuck from the reviews i'm reading.

II: Truly atrocious, I agree, ID.

DD: well im sure he wasnt just sitting there staring at them the whole time that sounds awfully boring

RS: | Oh | But | II | ! |

DD: thats not the way its meant to be read and really i think youre extrapolating an awful lot from that scene!

RS: | It's not about |- NEEDING -| to Watch Them throughout the Day |

RS: | It is a Testament to the Strength of His Pity | that He would Choose to Do So |

DD: its about the dedication it takes to

DD: yes!

DD: he loves them!

SA: we found someone more idealistic than me

RS: | It's Really Quite Romantic |

sA: I am so pleased

II: ...It sounds like a frank waste of time and like he doesn't trust them.

II: Which is incredibly troubling.

ID: seems fucking intrusive and creepy to me.

DD: really! DD: you lot are making an awful lot of assumptions about the nature of a relationship especially you II given you havent even read the novel!

RS: | Haha | Well | RS: | Passion often Does Seem Unsettling to the Less Romantic of Us | =:P |

II: At this point I don't think I need to.

II: I am quite romantic!

II: But I think I have rather...different ideals.

ID: i mean i guess, sure. =:P

DD: well i for one would love to have a matesprit that shows that sort of passion and dedication

II: To me, respecting my quadrants' privacy seems a lot more romantic.

SA:I find most of twilights actions to e infantilizing their lover

SA: they cannot possibly help themselves and so forth

RS: | Well | I Mean | RS: | Matespritship is All About Pity | In Reality | to Have Someone fully Manifest the Depths of Those Emotions might be a Bit Overwhelming | RS: | But | In a Story | There is Something Very Touching about the Idea that Someone would be so Over-whelmed by the Pitiableness of their Partner |

DD: have you ever read a pity romance novel sa???

RS: | That They would do Anything for Them |

DD: the point is the pity

RS: | Even Stay Awake all Day | to Watch Them While They Sleep | RS: | Or While They Work | RS: | Admittedly | The Watching Them while He was Meant to be Away was a Bit Excessive |

II: ...if they would do anything for them, why not _show_ them performing some daring act. It sounds like proposing that a law is sound because of its intensity, and not actually trying to prove it based on evidence of its effectiveness.

SA: pitying someone is different form thinking of them as an invalid

RS: | But | He was Feeling Lovelorn | Wasn't That Right | DD | ? |

DD: its not a reflection of the respective relationship members capabilities but rather the depths of the pity they feel for one another

RS: | Oh | He Does | ! |

DD: well they do that too ii!!

II: What happened to showing pity through gifts or affection. My goodness.

SA: if someone treated me that way I would remove them

DD: you all strike me as rather unromantic sorts i am afraid

II: Nonsense!

DD: aside from rs of course

SA: he constantly interferes in her business and then acts like she can't be helped when another individual "enters his turf"

II: On one of my dates, the lovely girl I was accompanied by presented me with a very charming wildlife specimen.

II: It was incredibly sweet!

RS: | Ah | But | Prisma | RS: | What Makes It so Romantic is the Fact She Regularly Offers up the Opportunity for Him to Do So |

RS: | It is a Reciprocated Pity |

DD: alternative interpretation! DD: he helps them when they are struggling and goes out of his way to prove his loyalty in the face of pushy competitors!

RS: | Otherwise | Why | It would Just be Alarming |

DD: and yes also what rs said!

II: But it was of her own volition and not some sort of...I don't even know what to call this, from what I hear about it, some sort of bizarrely compelled dysfunction?

DD: whatever do you mean??

SA: but she wanted nothing to do with him multiple times...

DD: of course the relationship was of both participatnts volitions DD: and sa really if somebody wants nothing to do with another person who is if you recall warning her away then would she really continue returning to him?

DD: this is what i mean by unromantic! DD: its as though you have never flirted before

II: ...this sounds like remarkably inconsistent behavior. Perhaps she is unwell.

DD: what??

DD: its playing hard to get

SA: it sounds like someone who has been entrapped and is completely dependent on their lover

II: That sounds ridiculous.

SA: due to abuse

DD: and showing that despite what you may say at times you are deeply invested in a relationship

DD: what

SA: 😡

II: If you want to be with someone, why would you dance around the issue?

DD: in what way is she entrapped and dependent???????????

II: And pretend otherwise?

DD: because you dont want to look desperate!!

II: It is not desperate to want to be with someone...?

SA: she told him to leave and he came back and got her repeatedly

SA: some people aren't playing hard to get they want to e left alone

II: Indeed, SA is right.

DD: yes and then he left and told her not to follow and she went after him anyways and its called being there for each other

SA: but hard to get is a convenient excuse to keep pursuing them beyond their comfort

II: ...that sounds like ignoring consent, to me.

DD: they save each other many times in this way!!

DD: and you still didnt answer about your entrapment comment!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SA: if a friend followed me when I told them not to follow I would be upset because it would have jeopardized them

RS: | Oh | Some People Are just Keen to be Left Alone | And That is an Important Thing to Know | But | RS: | You |- DON'T -| want to Look Desperate |

SA: and I clearly was handling it

RS: | That is a Valid Way to Feel | Prisma | But | Oh | Consider | If | Hmm |

II: Certainly, there are times when a moirail or ashen leaf might know better for their partners, but even then, such things ought to be discussed consensually.

RS: | | Someone Says Not to Follow Them | And Then | You Do Not | RS: | And You Discover They have been Greviously Injured | in a Way that Could've been Prevented If Only You had Followed Them |

RS: | Also | They Are Your Matesprit |

II: And particularly in a red(?) relationship, as I assume this to be, it is extremely uncouth to interfere with your partner so.

II: ...that is called life. You can't always be with your matesprit, that would make the relationship hugely uncomfortable. You have to trust them.

ID: okay from what i'm reading this edward is really possessive.

RS: | Mm | ! | But Wouldn't You Wonder | If They had been Saying Do Not Follow Them | RS: | Simply to Look More Pitiable to You | ? |

RS: | Flushed Romance is Mirror to Pale Romance |

RS: | And That is a Classic Trope |

DD: also additionally i think you are greatly overexaggerating her desire to be left alone! DD: she never tells him to leave multiple times she is like maybe kind of miffed one time and then is always very happy to have him present! DD: you are all talking so much about how clearly she wants to be left alone and hates him and are ignoring the fact that its written from her point of view when it is made very clear that she is deeply in love and adores having him around and thinks about him all the time

ID: does the bellae character have other quads?

RS: | She Eventually Becomes Pitch with the Dayshifter |

II: ...if someone told me to not follow them, I would assume they were thinking clearly and not like a cheaply written romance novel.

RS: | After a Long Period of Attempted Red Courtship | in Which She is Torn Between Him and Edward |

ID: and how does. edward react to the blossoming black relationship?

DD: yes except he followed her because his psionic clademember warned him she was in danger not beause he was just randomly following her!!!!

DD: and then he saved her life!!

DD: because he loves her!!

RS: | Oh | He doesn't Care | Why Would He | ? | It's not His Quadrant | RS: | I mean | Eventually | Jakobe does Become Matesprits with Her Descendent Instead | In an Unexpected Twist | RS: | And They are All Three Fully Aware This is what Will Happen |

DD: also for people that are very concerned with the potential lack of consent in this relationship you are doing an awful lot of ignoring of bellaes feelings and all the times she makes it very clear she loves and appreciates edward!

SA: no because I like to believe the people I surround myself with would be willing to tell me the truth of their situation and not trying to pity flirt with me

II: ...did she ASK the psiionic clademember to keep an eye on her.

RS: | So Being Jealous would be Silly |

ID: ...what.

RS: | II | You should Read the Book | ! |

RS: | The Books |

II: ...seconding the what.

RS: | Or | Well | No | That would Take Ages | And I Am Sure You are Very Busy |

RS: | Watch the Films | ! | =:B |

SA: what to what

II: I'm sorry, still a bit hung up over the _descendant_ part. Is Bellae rust?

ID: darn. my lack of speakers would make a movie hard. what a shame.

II: Otherwise how would she have had a descendant around so quickly...

ID: is she? man i'm sick of the simpering rust tropes.

RS: | Bellae is Jade | It is Hard to Realise at Some Points | Given That She Hates the Sunlight |

RS: | But That is How She is Able to be Turned into a Rainbowdrinker in the Last Book |

RS: | You can't Turn a Rust into a Drinker |

RS: | That would be Silly | =:B |

ID: haaah.

II: I didn't know that, Pheres.

II: But how ridiculous.

II: That sounds _full_ of plot holes, if nothing else.

DD: well thats an easy criticism to levy at any work of popular media and honestly at this point it feels like you are just attacking this particular work by making wild assumptions about how and why things in it happened without having read the book

DD: and its kind of hurtful!

DD: and i fell like ive gotten into a mess in terms of first impressions 😦

DD: i dont remember the last time ive felt this unfriendly!

SA: my head hurts.

DD: that is unfortunate have you considered taking any painkillers??

ID: go nap pris.

RS: | Oh | II | I am Afraid We are not Writers | =:( | RS: | So | Ah | It would be Better For You to See For Yourself |

RS: | Or | Read the Summaries Online | ! |

II: ...DD, how experienced are you with chatrooms?

RS: | It is Much Less Alarming than You are Reading It As |

DD: additionally i have heard that certain herbal sinus cleanses and some magnetic treatments work wonders

ID: if you need one. you're at the hotel and all.

DD: and i am not very experienced with chatroom unfortunately ii! DD: why????? that is a very foreboding statement!

II: Ah, well. This sort of thing isn't uncommon. You will often find people who disagree with you, I'm afraid. It isn't personal, usually.

SA: I have to get my things to the station

SA: no, I get headaches for other reasons, DD

SA: anyways

ID: yeah in chatrooms there's no consequences for speaking your mind so. get used to arguments dd.

II: I didn't mean any offense against you. I simply don't like the sound of these narratives.

DD: well then you should maybe read them like rs said i think you have gotten a very misrepresented idea of what the story actually entails!

DD: but oh my goodness im not sure if having bad relationships with people is necessarily the same thing as no consequences!

DD: i would much rather be on good terms with people DD: i suppose i just became quite flustered in this particular case because i have really admired the twilight series for quite a while

II: Bad relationships? I don't think any less of you.

DD: ive always thought it would be very nice to have a matesprit like edward!

II: You just like something different.

DD: and oh in that case i am very happy to hear that

SA: I do primarily because I don't like being called edgy and suspicious

SA: otherwise I don't care

ID: yeah arguments on the chatroom mean little if you don't let them.

DD: in my experience disagreement particularly of the degree of vehemence i achieved breeds dislike so i am glad it did not in this case DD: and in that case sa you have my sincerest apologies!!

DD: i did not mean to be hurtful and simply intended to make a friendly joke but i see now that it was ill aimed and i will refrain from calling you those things in the future!

II: Vehemence? I don't think anyone here felt truly vehement.

RS: | It could be Worse | DD | RS: | You could have Wished for a Matesprit like Jakobe | =:B |

DD: hahaha that is true!

ID: what's wrong with jakobe.

SA: thank you

ID: other than his. flushness for descendants?

DD: well for one thing his propensity for property destruction

DD: and that

DD: also that

DD: well

SA: so everything

DD: i mean it wasnt quite like that

SA: 😄

DD: but really he was being awfully pushy in light of bellaes clear dedication and love to edward!

DD: hes not a particularly awful sort but really he had no right to be placing bellae into that position

ID: i thought someone said she was undecided between them. or was that earlier.

RS: | He is a Skinshifter | Who Lives Out in the Woods | and was Especially Keen to Court Her Quadrant | RS: | Despite Her Clear Affection for Edward | I mean | It is Understandable | in a Certain Light | that She was Tempted Enough to be Curious | ? |

DD: especially while she was mourning the supposed death of her last quadrant!

DD: she was not thinking straight!!

ID: all i'm getting out of this is that this girl wanted to pail mythical creatures. =:I

RS: | Who wouldn't Be | ? | But It is Unkind to Encourage Someone to Pursue That Curiousity | ! |

RS: | Hahaha | Oh | Heavens |

RS: | This is a Perfectly Suitable Book for All Ages | RS: | There is No Fornication | Hadean |

ID: oh okay.

RS: | For Heaven's Sake | It is About |- ROMANCE -| =:P |

DD: well yes id that is part of the allure isnt it?? DD: though with um maybe less coarse language DD: they only kissed in the books!

DD: and yes they ARE romance novels

ID: hey.

ID: 50 shades is supposed to be about romance isn't it.

RS: | Hahaha |- NO -|

RS: | That is a Vicious Lie |

DD: i was under the impression it was meant to be about pailing!

RS: | Exactly | ! |

SA: kink 101 at clown university

II: ...I'm very glad - what

RS: | | | Um |

DD: at least DD: it was DD: after i realized what it was actually about

RS: | Oh My |

DD: 😦

II: I'm sorry, _what_ .

RS: | I would Like to Unenroll From that Class |

DD: um!!!

ID: pris i swear you need to stop bringing that up at the weirdest times.

SA: it applied to fifty shades

II: ...as an honorary church member I suddenly feel rather uncomfortable.

SA: believe me I pick and choose when I say it.

DD: is there a not weird time to bring up something like that???

RS: | I | I don't Think It Does | ? |

DD: because that just seems weird overall!!!

RS: | I do Wonder |

SA: the entirety of fifty shades is poorly constructed relationships around a poor execution of a fetish...

ID: ...ket's switch to the other drinker. lestat.

ID: he looks like a tool.

RS: | Oh | He doesn't | ! |

DD: im afraid i dont know about that one!

DD: oh!

DD: oh goodness

DD: no he looks really very dashing

DD: his hair is lovely ❤

ID: the google images all have him looking like he's trying too hard to seem mysterious and dashing.

RS has attached LESTATISNOBLE.jpeg to the chat!

RS: | Look at That |

RS: | He's not |- TRYING -|

DD: ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

ID: his nose is crooked.

DD: it adds character!

RS: | Yes | Isn't It Dashing | ? | It is a Careful Character Flaw | ! |

ID: oh okay so he wasn't recently hit in the face.

II: Mm. He is all right, I suppose.

RS: | It Shows He is Capable of Violence | Yet | Also Capable of Weakness | RS: | Of Being Made Vulnerable by a Greater Foe | ! |

RS: | Also Known As | Deeply Pitiable | =:P |

DD: +^+

ID: hahah he gets wrecked by the other rainbowdrinkers?

DD: oh dear! DD: im certain he doesnt but really even if he does DD: i would find tending to his wounds very agreeable ❤

ID: i like the other rainbowdrinker better of the two.

RS: | Haha | He Does gets Wrecked | If You would Like to Use those Terms | RS: | He is Almost Murdered by His Matesprit at One Point |

RS: | And Fights Frequently with the Rest |

RS: | But It is the Way of Rainbowdrinkers |

RS: | Unfortunately | ! |

ID: i mean if you say so, i bow to your mastery of rainbowdrinkers. =:P

RS: | Haha | I don't Know If I'd call It Mastery | RS: | I've only Ever Read Those Two Series | ! | RS: | Clearly | DD is the True Master of Rainbowdrinkers | Given His | Her | ? | Wide Range of Knowledge | =:B |

DD: !!!

DD: i mean!!

DD: i wouldnt say that DD: i am just very fond of romance novels haha

DD: and the supernatural ones are just

DD: they are even better!!

ID: why are they better?

DD: because they add twist to the dynamics! DD: they tend to be more tragic and dramatic and romantic

ID: i don't get the appeal of a quad that'll eat you.

II: I admit I feel similarly.

RS: | Well | How is a Quadrant Who Could Drink Your Blood | really Any Different from a Normal Quadrant | ? |

II: Ah, by _quite a lot?_

DD: well thats the point isnt it! DD: that they are so dedicated to you the thought would never cross their mind DD: or if it does it is an example of their great love for you that they dedicate their strength and fortitude towards overcoming such desires so that they might be with you because their love is so much more to them!

DD: and yes really its not as though the average troll could not simply kill you as well

II: I wouldn't want a potential quadrant to view me as a meal, thank you.

RS: | Anyone could Cull You | If You let Them in Near Enough | RS: | You just have to Ensure There is Enough Incentive Not To | RS: | Or Else | That They Care About You Sufficiently | that They would Never Dream of It | ! |

DD: and drink your blood i suppose if they were so inclined though i think that would be

DD: weird

RS: | And | Unhygeniec | =:) |

II: Just a _tad_.

ID: i mean most trolls don't have to cull to survive.

ID: like. literally survive off of eating trolls.

RS: | Yes | Most Trolls just Cull for Fun | which is Rather Worse | If You Ask Me |

II: I cull for my job! But usually I am culling trolls who are dangers to others, or who are causing different types of harm by going against Imperial law.

II: I would not cull wantonly; terrible discipline.

ID: that sounds... fun ii.

II: Well, I am a legislacerator!

II: It is my purpose.

ID: huh. neat.

DD: oh my goodness this conversation took a little bit of a dark turn DD: i apologize i was absent because i was looking for more pictures of lestat DD: i wish my hair was that long it looks looooovely DD: but unfortunately both my hair and my horns have recently found themselves quite short!! DD: im afraid my countenance will never recover DD: but! regardless! i do think i rather agree with rs!

II: A dark turn? Not really.

ID: long hair is the best hair, it's true.

II: Long hair is very lovely! I unfortunately would find it inconvenient, though.

II: Too potentially dangerous for my job.

DD: its also rather cumbersome underwater and our lovely sovereigns ability to manage such wondrous locks as hers is impressive as well as beautiful!

ID: braids help everything.

DD: unfortunately i have recently burned off the majority of mine and it is now styled into quite a short cut!

II: A braid is still an opportunity for an enemy to grab it, though, unfortunately, or for it to get caught.

ID: yeah, you gotta not have too sensitive a scalp. Also braid spikes.

II: Braid spikes?

ID: spikes you braid in to the hair.

II: How fascinating!

II: I have never seen such a thing.

II: It sounds potentially useful, but also possibly injurious to the user.

ID: i mean. i make mine with psi when i do it. but i'm sureee they exist in a metal form. maybe.

II: Hm!

II: Still an intriguing concept.

RS: | Oh | Yes | They Do | ! | I've Worn Those on Occasion | rs: | They're Woven into Your Hair | So | Ah | Only Hazardous if You have a Habit of Handling It | Haha |

II: I see!

ID: see, i knew i wasn't crazy.

II: I wouldn't think you were. You seem quite mentally sound.

ID: jury's still out on that one. =:P

II: Haha, well, surely it isn't my place to judge.

II: Perhaps someone who knows you better could give sufficient testament.

ID: uhhh...

SA: oh is no one going to say anything

ID: my sanity is just that inspiring pris.

SA: if only

[sadrien]

wanna chat? pt. 14

on ao3 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14

i got my harry potter nerd on for this chapter, mostly because i wanted to write and didn't know what to write about

also, i'm glad you all liked the previous chapter <3

dipshit = adrien fergie = alya no = nino dancing queen = mari

enjoy~

16:30

fergie: its 2 quiet in here time for the #discourse

no: no

fergie: shit im blanking i need a topiC @the babs: someone pls

no: i refuse to support this

dipshit: Anything?

fergie: yes

dipshit: Ok give me a second

no: fuck dude i just wanted a day of chill

fergie: babe with friends like us thats just not possible

dancing queen: What are we doing??

dipshit: Hogwarts house discourse Go

no: i cant believe i have to break up with you

fergie renamed this conversation to “hogwarts house discourse”.

dancing queen: Oh no

fergie: alright alright alright adrien = puff mari = puff nino = puff

dipshit: How do you figure

no: uhhh

dancing queen: Sorry al that seems wrong

dancing queen: oh it is it definitely is but ur all sweet enough for hufflepuff and loyal and we all eat too much food hmmm realistic one… adrien = puff mari = snake nino = raven mayb

dipshit: Make Mari Gryffindor and I’ll agree with you

fergie: whaaaaaat our girl is ambitious aF theres no way

dipshit: But she’s also a really strong leader and incredibly brave

dancing queen: If were arguing over anyone Id say adrien should be a gryffindor Oh wait maybe ravneclaw???? Hes super smart Shit this is really hard? He could be in three???

no: the fuck i was thinking slytherin actually

fergie: ???

dancing queen: ???????

no: listen my dudes the hat takes what you want into consideration right? it does it for harry anyway

fergie: what does this have to do with marshmallow being a snake which is just not accurate

no: im getting there

dipshit: Are we going by stereotypes or nah

dancing queen: Nah The stereotypes suck

no: im just saying theres no fucking way if we were wizards teh agrestes wouldnt be pure bloods and gabriel would be classic fucking slytherin

dancing queen: Ok Ill agree with that

fergie: mhmmmm

dipshit: I wouldn’t say that

no: bro even if you arent going off stereotypes your old man is probably the mos t ambitious perosn ive ever met like scary mari is almost as scary

dancing queen: Hey!!!!!!

fergie: so sorting hat

no has changed their name to sorting hat.

sorting hat: sup

fergie: are u saying adrien would ASK 2 b slytherin

sorting hat: well yeah yeah i am 

fergie: …………… i did not consider

sorting hat: i know you didnt

dancing queen: First of all since we cant decide and Im getting mixed answers from online quizzes

dancing queen has changed their name to lion snake.

lion snake: Second of all doesnt the hat also base it off of what you value the most??

dipshit: Lion snake? Like a chimera?

fergie: nerd

dipshit: Actually the chimera also has a goat ignore me

sorting hat: what the fuck

dipshit: Greek mythology

fergie: u kno what i dont wanna kno

dipshit: Anyway back to this

sorting hat: oh yeah anywa yeah the hat does but adrien wanting to please his dad might overrule that idk my dude jk didnt exactly lay ou t the rules of this super great

fergie: jk needs to c h i l l and ye each of the golden trio couldve ended up in at least one other house

dipshit: That would’ve been cool Also I don’t think I try to please my dad that much

fergie: oh sweetheart

sorting hat: dude

lion snake: Adrien you really really do

dipshit: Really?

fergie has changed their name to adriens legal guardian.

adriens legal guardian: someone needs to take care of you

dipshit: I promise I’m fine I’ve got Nathalie

sorting hat: does nathalie give you hugs

dipshit: No? Why is that relevant?

adriens legal guardian: SHE DOESNT COUNT THEN #HUGADRIENAGRESTE2K17

adriens legal guardian has changed their name to i love adrien.

i love adrien: turn on ur location agreste

dipshit: Please know that’s actually kind of creepy I’m at home you don’t have to worry about location

i love adrien: hella

sorting hat: alya chill out with the name chagnes also now im gonna be confuse d

i love adrien: i love him too but truuuuu

dipshit: ????

i love adrien: can i change it

sorting hat: last time for today??

i love adrien: ilysm

i love adrien has changed their name to cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub

dipshit: I have a fanclub? Wait that wasn’t the smartest thing to say

lion snake: Its a good thing youre cute

dipshit: I try to ignore them

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: have u ever been on the official insta of the fanclub bc its hilarious and beautiful

dipshit: …. Alya why

sorting hat: oh we totally googled you

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: mhm

lion snake: ^^^^

dipshit: That’s…..nice of you?

lion snake: Sorry if that makes you uncomfortable omg

dipshit: It’s just? Kinda weird?? I don’t mind and I probably should’ve expected it I just forget sometimes that that’s a thing people can/will do

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: adri if it makes u feel any better i google everyone ive googled everyone in this chat in our class their parents ymself random strangers if im able to

sorting hat: that is not surprising at all

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: ur not special i mean u r ur v special to me and ilysm but not here everyone gets googled and twitter stalked also tell whoevers running ur official accounts to be less lame idc about salad u eat

dipshit: What????

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: ur social media is B O R I N G i kno u dont run it but i still expected more memes

dipshit: Honestly I don’t look at it

sorting hat: its like the person we thought you were when we first met you except more boring

lion snake: Ok no thats not true Because I thought he was an asshole

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: oh shit tru

dipshit: Ahhhh yeah sorry about that

lion snake: Its fine I promise!!! Weve talked about this Its like Super perfect adn model-y and professional andnot  at all a teenage loser who stayed up until 2 watching sailor moon and eating doritos

sorting hat: fucking relatable

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: weebs

sorting hat: yo youre the one who decided to date some

lion snake: Hey Ive never asked Adrien do you have unofficial personal social media???

dipshit: ……………………. Shhhhhh

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: WHAAAAAAAT LINKS LINK S LINKS LINSK

dipshit: I have a tumblr but that’s it

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: oh my go d this weekend  we get 2gether adn make adrien all the social media and we revamp his tumblr bc ur theme sucks

dipshit: ???? You’ve never even seen it???

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: i know it does marsh !!!!!!!! can u imagine if lb and cn had social media!!!!! id c r y

PM between dipshit and lion snake

dipshit: P l e a s e

lion snake: Oh my og d

dipshit: Please please please please please please please plEASE

lion snake: HOld on!!! Im discussing with tikki

dipshit: Plagg says he doesn’t care what we do

lion snake: Yeah we arent trusting him

dipshit: Fair enough WHAT IF I CAN GET SNAPCHAT ON MY BATON A LITERAL SNAPCHAT

lion snake: No Just because of that No

dipshit: Pleaaaaaseeeeeeeee My lady it’ll be great I swear

lion snake: U gh Well talk on it on patrol tonight k??

dipshit: YES!!!!

19:05 in hogwarts house discourse

sorting hat: i know weve moved on but man. fuck snape

 20:12

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: do u think if i track down lb and cn and ask them for their hogwarts houses theyll tell me

sorting hat: worth a shot?

 20:42

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: update: chat says ladybg is a gryffindor and lb says shes iether that or slytherin so like mari and they cant agree on cn

 22:53

sorting hat: damn you adrien i cant stop thinking about this what is mari?? what is adrien??? what am i?? al youre either gryffindor or ravenclaw ive decided

lion snake: Youre the sorting hat shouldnt you know all???

sorting hat: bruh we need the actual sorting hat for this

lion snake: Fair enough

sorting hat: lets say adrien is a hatstall and move on

3:03

PM between dipshit and lion snake

dipshit: Rise and shine bugaboo Akuma at 3 o’clock Literally 3 o’clock the time not the like If you’re using 12, 3, 6, and 9 as directions It’s not You know what My tracker on my baton is turned on so use that to find me

 3:08

dipshit: Mari Mari Alright plan b I’m gonna call  you and if you don’t pick up I’m going to show up on your balcony Which sounds creepy but also this akuma is now stacking cars and I don’t really know what to do? They aren’t even trying to do anything else right now Am I missing something??? I’m confused

 3:12

lion snake has changed their name to ahHHH

ahHHH: IM SO SORRY Tikki woke me up my phone was muted She says Waitw e dont hav etime for this Ive gotta transform so Ill talk to you when I get there??

dipshit: It’s fine just watching an akuma build a tower out of cars Remind me to show you how to sync Skype up to your yoyo

ahHHH: Youre on skype on your baton??

dipshit: Yeah it makes things easier

ahHHH: Huh Al and nino didnt wake up?

dipshit: I think the akumas too far away for them to hear, but also it’s not exactly being distructive When we actually start fighting people might start waking up but for now it’s being pretty quiet even with the car stacking

ahHHH: Well thats good they need their sleep Wait if the akuma was quiet how did you know??

dipshit: People started posting to the Ladyblog forums and I had that open in another tab

ahHHH: ???/ Why were you up????

dipshit: Bad night I couldn’t sleep so I put on Howl’s Moving Castle

ahHHH: Feeling any better?

dipshit: I’m sure I’ll feel better when I see you :3

ahHHH: Oh myg do Itst oo early for this Ill see you in fa few just stop that cat face

dipshit: ;3

[happyw-behappy-blog]

Haters who Fall in Love   2018-7

Int. Day, JASON’s new company building

JASON walks into an elevator, the door is closing. EMMA walks into the building with a brunch of paper work in her hand-bag.

EMMA:

                        (Whispers to herself)

Alright, these are for Jason. You can do it, just walk in, give him the bag, and leave. No explanation, no expectation. Perfect.

(shouts)  Wait!

JASON puts his hand forward to stop the door from closing. EMMA runs into the elevator in a hurry. She smoothes her rumpled clothes and checks her hair.

EMMA:

Thank you.

EMMA turns around with a smile, and that smile hangs itself on EMMA’s face awkwardly, failed to disappear or reappear. She felt her heart shrinks at the moment she catches JASON with her eyes.

EMMA (COUNT’D):

Jason.

JASON:

Never expect to see you here.  What are you doing here?

Suddenly, the ELEVATOR stops, getting stuck between cafeteria floor and office area.

EMMA:

What’s going/ on?

ELEVATOR:

I’m sorry to inform you that, there have been some technical difficulties with our elevators now. There will be no danger, so all the passengers may stay calm and enjoy your time trapping in an elevator.

EMMA:

What the beep----! Great! No wonder your company is losing Jason, get stuck in an elevator the first time I pay your dear new company building a visit. A VERY - NICE welcoming, Jason. I appreciate it. Now can you please stay away from me?

JASON:

Emma, there’s nowhere else to go! What do you expect me to do? Climb on top of the elevator like a spy or a ninja?

EMMA:

Yeah, can you do that?

JASON rolls his eyes.

EMMA (smiling):

Please?

JASON:

Alright, I’ll stay away from you as farrrr as I can.

(in a lower voice)   Damn this stupid elevator!

EMMA rolls her eyes at JASON then turns her back to him.

EMMA:

(in a lower voice)

Typical. Just blame the elevator.

An awkward silence.

JASON:

So...why are you here?

EMMA doesn’t answer immediately, blushes climb up to her cheeks. She holds the bag in front of her, so JASON won’t see it.

JASON(COUNT’D):

I saw it! The bag. Why are you hiding that away from me? Wait, don’t tell me you are going to sue me or something! Hey, listen, I know you hate me, but let’s not take personal feelings into business…

EMMA turns around to face JASON.

EMMA:

Are you stupid or something? These are paper works that’s gonna help you win this case and cost me lost! Beep---- Jason! If I don’t take my beep--- personal feelings into business, I am not going to be here holding those wining insurance for you and getting trapped in this stupid elevator!

ELEVATOR:

Uhhhh… Excuse me?

Suddenly, the electricity of the elevator goes out. In darkness, EMMA bumps her head against the elevator wall.

EMMA:

Beep-----!

ELEVATOR:

Uhhhhh… I’m sorry to inform you that the electricity are just crossing over each other and don’t know where they are suppose to be. So… you guys are probably in darkness right now? I guess the elevators are still safe? So… just… uhhh… keep calm and… stay safe. Hope you have a nice day? (in a lower voice) Maybe?

EMMA:

Seriously? This is just the worst day in my life.

JASON opens his mouth tries to speak, but then he seems to be enlightened. This can be a chance. JASON takes a deep breath.

JASON:

Uhhhh… Emma?

EMMA pretends that she didn’t hear JASON.

JASON:

Emma? / Can you…

EMMA:

What.

JASON:

Can you… can you come over here? On my side, I mean, PHYSICALLY! Physically on my side. J…just… where I can feel… ur… your existence. I mean—uh (with sigh). Did I say anything that makes sense? God damn it.

EMMA:

WHAT?

JASON takes another deep breath.

JASON:

I…I’m…I’m scared of dark.

EMMA:

Of course you are, what do I expect…… Wait, WHAT?

JASON:

Emma~ Please~

EMMA sighs and walks over to JASON in big steps, a little bit in a rush but quietly. She doesn’t want anyone to hear her worry. Now she is on JASON’s side, physically. JASON moves closer to EMMA, to where their fingers can touch if any movement occurs. EMMA stays there, failed to move away.

ELEVATOR:

Since you guys might be bored trapping in a STUPID elevator, maybe we can create some wonderful memories together. I always feel like people who hate each other accurately are feeling the most deeply for one another. They are the ones who know each other the best. They are like magnets attracting and repelling each other, can’t get closer, but can’t be further apart.

EMMA turns on the flashlight on her phone.

EMMA:

(whispers) it’s all right, I’m on your side now.

(back to normal tone and voice)

Physically.    Are you a baby?

JASON smiles, he doesn’t talk back as he would do on any other day. He is enjoying this moment, which EMMA is so close to him. EMMA doesn’t keep on attacking JASON as she would do on any other day. She is trying to lower the blush on her face.

ELEVATOR:

But when they are forced to be in the same space, in darkness where it is okay to stop pretending, like now, they can hear their own heart. They would feel the heartbeats telling them how they feel for each other. They would breathe softly so no one wakes the dream. And they can hear their own heartbeats, getting faster and faster, louder and louder, harder and harder.

Suddenly, JASON holds EMMA’s hand, tight enough to keep EMMA from escape, and gentle enough to not hurt EMMA.

EMMA:                                                     JASON:

Jason!                                                      Emma.

Oh, I’m sorry you go first.                       You first.

(A pause.)

It’s just…                                                  It’s just…

Oh, uhhhhh…

A silence.

Then JASON starts talking, in a higher-than-usual-pitch. He talks in a rush, trying to tell EMMA his feelings about her before the feeling flows out itself.

JASON:

I like you, Emma! I… it’s… it started… a long time ago. A few month after you became the employee of my company. (smiles) The year we spent working together, it was… the best time of my life. And wh…when you leave the company, I just started to realize that I already fell in love with you. I wanted you to stay, but you refused. I… I don’t know what to do. I wanted to tell you that I love you… but every time I see you ignoring me, getting angry at me, I said to myself... maybe, maybe this is good enough, at least she noticed me, and hates me, at least… I have a spot in her heart. This is good enough.

(A pause.)JASON laughs at himself.

I know you would probably feel sick right now, and will never talk to me anymore.

With the flashlight on, JASON looks into EMMA’s eyes. They are shining and beautiful, as they always are, even the look of shock is so beautiful. JASON smiles, turns to EMMA and holds EMMA’s face gently with his free hand. JASON leans in, closer to EMMA’s face, until their foreheads touch, until they can only see each other in their eyes.

JASON(COUNT’D):

But I just can’t keep it in anymore.

I just want you to know   that    (whispers) I love you.

JASON kisses EMMA. EMMA doesn’t resist. She just stands still like she has been turned into a statue, except that, inside her, something just melt and begin to burn. She feels like her heart might just stops pumping for a second.

ELEVATOR:

So if they get any closer, to which they can only have each other in the moment, they can hear their heartbeats mixing, pounding on the same beat, faster and faster, louder and louder, like millions of butterflies just breaking out of their cocoons, shaking their wings for the very first time.

The kiss ends. JASON let go of EMMA’s face and hand.

JASON: (sad and embarrassed)

I’m…I’m sorry for my ru----

EMMA kisses JASON, JASON is in shock for 3 seconds, and then he smiles. He cannot help it, so does EMMA. Their teeth hit, but neither of them stop the kiss. Just laughing and kissing.

ELEVATOR:

Then the two magnets would finally find the right ends to be together, just one little turn would do it. Hope you have a great memory being trapped in this stupid elevator.

The kiss ends. EMMA puts both of her hands in JASON’s hands.

EMMA:

(whispers) I love you too. Never apologize for that.

(back to normal voice) I… I’ve never heard that story before. Only if I could realize this earlier…

JASON:

Shhhhhh. This is good enough .............. for the best day of my life.

They kiss again. The elevator starts, it stops at the office area and the door opens. There are tons of employees standing outside prepare to meet their boss. But when the door opens, they are all shocked by what they see. Someone drops a folder.

AN EMPLOYEE:

We’re good! Everything’s fine! You guys continue! We see nothing!

Then all the employees just turn their back to the elevator and cover their eyes. The door of elevator closes and elevator keeps rising, so is the temperature and love inside the door.

Some Words from Writer

This is my first Rom-Com, quite a challenge to me. As I think that make people think is easier than make people happy, and I have no confidence in writing romantic stories as the chemistry is hard to describe or show. But one of the teacher said this is a good chance for me to try out a new writing style, can have a happy ending instead of a dark or heavy one. Then I thought I have nothing to lose, if I failed, it meant I was not ready for that writing style; if I success, or at least people think it is good, it meant I can explore another writing style.

So I tried, and I read the first draft to my sweet suit mates, they were very into this story and reacting like they are watching a rom-com. Maybe they are just being nice, but their reaction encouraged me, so I kept on working on it and eventually performed it on the writers’ cafe and won “the loudest laughter and applause” according to our counselor. I was happy and very glad that this worked out well.

Always try new things, cause you never know where is the limit you can reach.

[tucson-interviewed]

Tucson Interviewed: Dragoon Brewing’s Les Mains, a Sour Blonde Beer

It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that beer is exploding all around Tucson.  Normally this is a bad thing, but under my context, it is a good thing.  When the opportunity to do this interview came up, I wasn’t sure if I would, or should, take it.  After all, I don’t drink.  I don’t say that with an air of condescension.  Ask anyone who knows me and they’ll tell you that I’m horribly, horribly depressed and will eventually need to seek out treatment.  Ha.  Ha.  Haha.

On Sunday, October 15th, I sat down with the newest member of the Dragoon Brewing family, a barrel-aged sour blonde beer.  It was an interesting conversation, especially because, again, I am not a drinker.  Due to this fact, I realized that there would be a lot of backbiting about this interview amongst all of the interview fan communities, especially those online.  They’ll say I was paid for this discussion and that it’s nothing more than a glorified commercial.  They’ll say that this makes me a sell-out.  

But I was not compensated for this interview, so you watch it with the accusations that you make.  Am I an a-hole?  Yes, absolutely.  Am I corrupt?  Not at all.  Also, I don’t drink.  I feel like I have to keep reminding you all of that fact.

Tucson, I want you to put your hands together (unless you have a glass in one, in which case slap your free hand against your thigh), this is Dragoon Brewing’s Les Mains, a Sour Blonde Beer interviewed!

Catfish Baruni: I’m told you have a theme song or something along those lines.  Do you want to start with that?

Les Mains:  [sings] West of I-10 I was brewed and aged/in the barrel room I spent most of my days/chilling on oak that used to hold chardonnay--

CB:  That’s enough.  We get it: you’ve seen The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

LM:  Once again, alone in the dark for years.  Lots of TV.

CB:  That’s the title of my autobiography: Alone in the Dark for Years.

No!  That’s the name of my sex tape!

Why don’t we go ahead and get started with your name?

LM:  Most people when they walk in the bar will probably say something along the lines of “Less Manz.”

CB:  Okay, so that’s Option A.

LM:  Or “Less Maynz.”

CB:  Option B.

LM:  I was named, much like my predecessor in French [Dragoon’s Les Cœurs], Les Mains.

CB:  Les Mains. [nails the pronunciation]

LM:  Yes.

CB:  Is that right?  I never took French in high school.

LM:  It’s… good enough.

CB:  Is that what you prefer to be called?  Do you have a nickname that you like better?

LM:  Uhh, “Sour Blonde” is always easier.

CB:  “Sour Blonde”?

LM:  Yeah, “Sour Blonde.”

CB:  Sour Blonde, I understand that you’re relatively new in town.  Is that accurate?

LM:  Yeah, oh yeah.  I mean, I’ve been around for almost three years, but--

CB:  Like off and on?

LM:  No, no.  I’ve been here.

CB:  Oh, you’ve BEEN here?

LM:  Yes, but--

CB:  So my sources are wrong?

LM:  Well…

CB:  You can say that I’m wrong.  Many people have.  They’re usually women.

LM:  [laughs]  You’re not wrong in so far that--is a beer around if nobody can drink it?

CB:  Ohhh.  Wow.  We’re getting deep…

LM:  Yeah.

CB:  ...on a Sunday morning.

LM:  Think about it as, I’ve been around, but I’ve just recently had my coming out party.  My quinceañera.

CB:  Awww.

LM:  The family, Dragoon [Brewing], I was part of that family, at home and now I’ve come of age and been revealed to the world.

CB:  Let me say, first of all, congratulations on becoming a woman.  So quickly.  Uh, mazel tov.

So you’ve been here three years (kind of) but more like one day?

LM:  Yes, yes.

CB:  How was the trip?

LM:  Relaxing.

CB:  That’s good to hear.  Nothing worse than a stressful trip, and I know a lot of people are gonna say, “What about war or famine?  Those are worse than a stressful trip.”  And what I would say is, those are a type of stressful trip.

How have you see Tucson change since you’ve been here?

LM:  Well, I spent the vast majority of the last three years inside of various wooden barrels, so I’d say it changed from being dark, humid, with touches of lightly toasted oak and chardonnay to bright and vivacious, effervescent, and sunny.  But I might have a skewed perspective.

CB:  Look, who doesn’t have a skewed perspective?

LM:  Fair enough.

CB:  Now--

LM:  That’s my journey.

CB:  It sounds like you’ve done a lot of growing during that journey and I think--

LM:  You calling me fat?

CB:  A little bit, but I meant it mostly with the “P-H,” so the good kind of P-hat.

Now, Sour Blonde, I have to admit something to you.  I--

LM:  Oh, are you having a coming out as well?

CB:  In a way, yes.  I’m not a drinker.  I’ve never tasted a beer.  

LM:  I forgive you.

CB:  Thank you.  The closest I’ve come was the time that I mixed up a Roy Rogers and a Rob Roy.  It…

LM:  [laughs]

CB:  ...immediately became clear to me that the wrong thing had been ordered.  I’m disappointed in my friend Jon for not pointing out that it was the wrong drink when he asked what I wanted.  Anyway, so, not being a beer drinker, is it normal that you started in a wood barrel?

LM: Not in American beers.  All the beers start generally the same: water and grain, and add different flavors; and then throw in some little microbes, either yeast or bacteria, to transform our sugars into alcohol.  Usually, that can happen in as little as two weeks.  

But in the case of barrel-aged folks like myself, that journey goes from a big stainless tank before being split up into tiny wooden barrels where each barrel develops its own slightly different character and after many years those are blended together into a final product to release.  This is only the second time Dragoon has made a barrel-aged sour.  My predecessor was Les Cœurs.

CB:  Les Cœurs?

LM:  Yes, “the hearts.”

CB:  Is Dragoon run by a bunch of dirty Frenchmen?

LM:  Not to my--I haven’t met any, let me just put it that way.

CB:  Okay, that’s fair.

LM:  None have put their hands on me.

[everyone laughs; I’m sure you get it so I won’t explain]

CB:  Now, what can you tell me, you’ll forgive me, I did a little bit of research--what can you tell me about your  “bouquet” or “nose”?

LM:  Oh, excellent.  Aroma.

CB:  Or “aroma.”

LM:  There’s definitely notes of fruit, tartness, and a touch of sour.  You don’t get much funk from--

CB:  So you’re saying you’re not earthy? [Note: I should have made a reference or allusion to George Clinton and/or Parliament Funkadelic.]

LM:  Oh, definitely not earthy, no no.  How strange it is to be discussing how I smell with a man, but I guess that is the first thing one encounters.  

CB:  Except perhaps a man with no nose, but--

LM:  How does he smell?

CB:  With his... hands.  I guess.

LM:  So we’re not doing the Monty Python bit.

CB:  Uhhh, you’ll be disappointed to know that I don’t remember the bit.  But you’re only three-years-old, so I don’t know how you know it.

LM:  When you’re in the dark by yourself a lot, you end up watching a lot of Monty Python.

CB:  That does make sense.

CB:  So, would you say you’re like a Malbec or a Beaujolais?

LM:  So, it seems like you’ve wandered down the wine path.  I’m not like either of those.

CB:  Are you telling me that beer is not wine? [Note: Remember, your host is not a drinker.]

LM:  Yes.

CB:  Oh.  We’re going to have to throw out most, if not all, of the research that I've done.

LM:  Well, you know, lucky for you, sour barrel-aged beers actually can share a lot in common with our wine compatriots in the alcohol world.

CB:  Ahhh.

LM:  So your questions might reveal some interesting insights into my character that, if you were focused on my beer aspects, you might never uncover.  Aside from the fact that you touched on whether I’m like one of two wines that I’m nothing like, what other questions might you have?  

CB:  Sour Blonde, tell me, how Riesling are you?

LM:  Oooh.  How Riesling am I? [laughs before thinking on this for a moment]  

A touch.  There are some Rieslings--

CB:  Now I hate to interrupt you, but could it be said that you’re “a touch too much”? [Note: Like the f’n AC/DC song, owwwwwww \m/.]

LM:  No.

CB:  Okay.  Fair enough.  Please, continue with your answer.

LM:  There’s some similarities in color.  Some Rieslings tend towards the sparkling, so in that sense, but hardly that bubbly.  I’m rather effervescent.  I’m carbonated at a fairly high level.

CB:  More Coke or more Pepsi, your carbonation?

LM:  Dear God, you know nothing about beer.

CB:  This… This is true.

LM:  I don’t know how to answer that question [laughs].  

CB:  Can you tell me one of Tucson’s nicknames?

LM:  The Old Pueblo.

CB:  Which, of course, is Spanish for “The Pueblo,” for those readers who don’t speak Spanish.

Do you wanna try your hand at giving Tucson a new nickname?

LM:  Hmm.

No.

CB:  Maybe something like Brew-scon?  [Note: You better have laughed at that, you-know-who.]

LM:  [laughs; it is unclear if Sour Blonde is laughing at my pun or at spurning my request for a new nickname]

Give Tucson a new nickname?  “Sour City.”

CB:  “Sour City.”

LM:  Yeah.

CB:  As you may be aware, Tucson is home to a number of burrito joints.  From upscale to vending machine.  Tell me, what’s your ideal burrito filling?  Enchilada style, yay or nay?

LM:  Oooh, and this is not limited to one thing?  Because a burrito with one ingredient IS still a burrito.

CB:  I’m not here to debate you about the technical definition of a burrito, so we’ll just say it’s whatever you want it to be.  Provided there is something [inside] and it’s not just a tortilla rolled up.  That, I think we can agree upon: not a burrito.

LM:  Yes.

Well, when speaking of beverages, it’s always excellent to talk about “pairing,” and burritos are excellent pairings with a sour blonde such as myself, especially when their ingredients lean toward the lighter and more herbal variety.  A breakfast burrito with egg, potato, and avocado, with just a little bit of hot sauce to liven things up I think would be an excellent pairing with a sour blonde such as myself.

CB:  Excellent answer.  Now you mentioned a lighter burrito goes best with a sour blonde [such as hisself], so I’m going to assume my next question is going to be a “Nay,” but: enchilada style: yay or nay?

LM:  Nay.

CB:  Like I said, I expected it.

LM:  Because what I just described was a breakfast burrito, and I must say, a breakfast burrito should never* be served enchilada style.

Am I going to start a fight?

CB:  Well… I mean, there are some hearty breakfast burritos, but, again [Note: for the first time] this is not “Burrito Talk,” that’s my other interview series that I do.

LM:  Fair enough.  Let me know when you want me to be on that.

CB:  I certainly will.

To the uninitiated, and that may include you, Sour Blonde--you were in a barrel for three years; driving the streets of Tucson can be an ordeal.  Do you have a favorite street or intersection to drive down or through?

LM:  Oh, I enjoy Pima [Road].

CB:  Pima?

LM:  Yeah.  

CB:  You know, I like it, too. [Note: See Tucson Interviewed: Catfish Baruni]

LM:  Isn’t it nice?  

CB:  It really is.

LM:  It really opens up out east.

CB:  Y’know, when it’s well-paved--

LM:  Yes.

CB:  --and at the right hour, it feels like they made that street just for you.

LM:  Yeah.

CB:  It’s the best.

LM:  They got bus pullouts and bike lanes.  It’s like they knew what they were doing.

CB:  Unlike--

LM:  Grant!

CB: --Speedway.  And Grant. Grant’s another one!

LM:  And I live on Grant.

CB:  Ugh.  I’m so, so sorry.

Maybe we’ve already answered this question then, what’s your least favorite street to drive down?

LM:  Especially since I’ve been around, Grant’s been a mess.  Despite the fact that I refer to it as “Dead Bird Alley,” I would take Glenn over Grant these days.

CB:  Wow!  That says a lot.  At a certain point, Glenn has stop signs.  It is essentially--

LM:  A residential street! [in unison]

CB:  A residential street! [Note: see above]

And you would rather take it than Grant.

LM:  Yes!

CB:  That says a lot.

How long is Grant going to be a mess for, do you think?

LM:  Oh, I’ll be long gone before they’re done.

CB:  That makes me sad to hear.

LM:  And they’ll cellar me for, like, three to five years and pull me out at some anniversary party later, and, I’m telling you, it still won’t be done after Dragoon’s tenth anniversary five years from now.

CB:  Yii-ikes!

LM:  Yeah.  I’m young, but I’m not dumb.

CB:  Tucson has a rich musical background.  It was mentioned in a The Beatles song and (I think) The Doors once played here.  Sour Blonde, what’s your favorite local musical act?

LM:  Oh, I know this one.  Now, some of the people who helped in my creation are also talented musicians.  I would definitely say “Sex Prisoner.”

CB:  Sex Prisoner?

LM:  Yes.

CB:  I hate to confess my ignorance, but I’ve never heard of Sex Prisoner.  Do they play around town regularly?  

LM:  Yeah, yeah, when our cellarman, Matt, who happens to be one of the members, has enough time to actually play.  Mostly he turns on his thrash metal and presses it against the tanks and it resonates and I can just feel the vibrations through my liquid.

CB:  So they don’t have a standing gig you can plug or anything like that?

LM:  Uh, no.  I know they’re going on like a European trip soon.

CB:  No, that’s fine.  If they don’t want to perform regularly so that we can tell all twelves of readers...

LM:  I could also mention ...music video? but I think they’ve been gone for five years and had a reunion tour a year ago now.

CB:  So we’re talking about “dot dot dot music video question mark”?  

LM:  Yes.  One of our brewers was in the band.

CB:  That must be Wes [...music video?’s guitarist].

I went to junior high with Paul [...music video?’s keyboard player and Zune owner].

[A conversation about ...music video? ensues.]

Moving on, though, The University of Arizona is one of the largest employers in Tucson and plays an integral role in much of the happenings of the city.  In each interview, I like to ask a deep question about the U of A: Sour Blonde, can you tell me something about the U of A?

LM:  Uh, yes.

CB:  Good enough.  And now it’s time for Reader Question(s).  Unfortunately, we’re still really lacking in questions from our readers.  Also, I forgot to print what I have out.  The one that I remember was not directed at you, but I’m going to direct it to you anyway, Sour Blonde.  

Aida A., from the Middle of the Pacific O. asks, “What is your favorite flavor of Eegee?”

LM:  Oooh.  For some reason, I just went straight to watermelon.

CB:  That’s a popular one.  

The Sonoran Desert is home to Tucson, and nothing symbolizes the desert more than the iconic saguaro cactus.  

LM:  If you say so.

CB:  I do.  I literally just did.  Do you prefer saguaros with or without arms?

LM:  Much like a breakfast burrito, a saguaro without arms is just a glorified barrel cactus.  Saguaro should have arms.

CB:  Does that mean a breakfast burrito should also have arms?

LM:  Look, I’ve been out of the barrel for a couple of days; I’m not a good at metaphors.

CB:  That’s fine, that’s fine.  I’ve been out of the barrel, so to speak, for roughly 35 years, and I’m not good at words either.  So.

LM:  So, much like a breakfast burrito shouldn’t have enchilada sauce smothered all over it because my God, how would you pick it up?  

CB:  Knife and fork.  Knife and fork.

LM:  Now who sounds like the dirty Frenchman?

CB:  [in a perfect French accent] Knife and fork! [laughs like a stereotypical French chef]

LM:  [laughs]  With your hands.  Les mains!

CB:  Ohhhh, it all comes back around.  

LM:  Yes, so in order to eat a burrito with les mains, one must have arms.  And therefore, a saguaro cactus should have arms.  

CB:  So that it can eat a burrito.

LM:  Yes.  A breakfast burrito, probably, when paired with myself.

CB:  The monsoon season, now you may not have known about that since you’ve been in a barrel, but the monsoon season is a special time for the denizens of Tucson.  When a monsoon thunderstorm strikes, what do you prefer to be doing?

LM:  I prefer to be being enjoyed by a small gathering of people gazing out upon the storm from a traditional Tucson porch.

CB:  So this begs the question, Les Mains, are you going to be available for purchase just at the taproom at Dragoon or will you be available at retail locations as well?

LM:  Oh, I’m getting out there!  In limited amounts, I’m getting out there.  I’m having a sipping session at Good Oak Bar on October 18th from 6 - 9PM.  And there will be another sipping session and Les Mains release party at Tap and Bottle downtown Thursday, October 19th, at 6PM and at Tap and Bottle North on Friday, October 20th, also at 6PM.

CB:  Great to hear.  Nobody likes a shut-in, which I can tell you because I’m nearly a shut-in.  

LM:  Oh, do you live in a barrel?

CB:  It’s ...barrel-like.

LM:  Oh, okay.

CB:  A limited number of entrances and exits.  Dark most of the time.  And, uh, a couple of cats crawling around inside.  

LM: Oh, hmm, cats.  I don’t know about that flavor profile, but I do say that, while I can detect that there is a fair amount of bitterness in your character, I think that the balance of humors will render that bitterness quite enjoyable once you choose to come out of the barrel.  

CB:  Sour Blonde, thank you for saying that.  

In my head, I started overthinking that. I thought, “I’m going to thank Sour Blonde and Sour Blonde is going to prematurely think that the interview is over when that is not the case.”  We are only at the TOPICAL QUESTION time.

LM:  Ooh!  None of this has been topical?

CB: Well, theoretically I’m going to ask you a question about something that’s happened in the news.  The problem is slightly that I forgot to look up anything in the news, but I do remember seeing a headline about--I still have trouble saying this, so I’m not going to--the man in the White House talking about meeting the President of the Virgin Islands.

LM:  Oh, they have a president now?

CB:  The question’s going to be what’s your thought on it, because, obviously, I’m sure you know, the President of the Virgin Islands is also the President of the United States of America. Uhh, so, what are your thoughts on that?

LM:  Oddly circuitous, but also I’ve been stuck in a barrel for three years and only been out in the world for a couple of days, and I knew that.  

CB:  And for the record, you are a beer.

LM:  YES!

CB:  And you knew that.

LM:  Yes.

CB:  And a human being did not.  So.

LM:  Yes.

CB:  It’s a depressing time that we live in.

LM:  When isn’t it?

CB:  That’s true, but these seem to be more depressing times, Sour Blonde, and you--

LM:  Hey, I’m sour by nature.

CB:  Not naughty?

LM:  [laughs]

CB:  It is now time for the LIGHTNING ROUND.  We’re still working on the impressive, special effects-laden introduction.  In the LIGHTNING ROUND, I want you to give me your immediate, gut reactions to the questions that I ask you.  If you think about an answer too long, you will be disqualified and will lose all the money you’ve won thus far in the game.

LM:  Oooh, less money, less problems.

CB:  Are you ready for the LIGHTNING ROUND?

LM:  No, probably not, but go ahead.

CB:  You’re off to a good start.

Eegee’s french fries: ranch or two ranches?

LM:  One ranch.

CB:  Spring Fling or Pima County Fair?

LM:  Pima County Fair.

CB:  Sixth Ave or Sixth St?

LM:  I never know which one is which.

CB:  Yard sales on a Sunday morning or the Swap Meet on a Saturday night?

LM:  Swap Meet on a Saturday night for the drive-in movie.

CB:  Which is more annoying: people who misspell “Tucson” or people from Phoenix?

LM:  Oh God, well, aside from the fact that most of them are the same people, probably people from Phoenix.

CB:  Preferred Gem Show purchase: “authentic” arrowheads or anything-turquoise?

LM:  Turquoise, it goes better with a blonde. [Note: buy this beer]

CB:  Sabino Canyon or Mt. Lemmon?

LM:  Sabino Canyon is a part of Mt. Lemmon. [Note: Asshole!]

CB:  Garry Shandling or Craig T. Nelson?

LM:  Craig T. Nelson. [Note: See?]

CB:  And finally, Sour Blonde--Les Mains--finish this sentence: “Tucson is…”

LM:  “...a city.” ------ Les Mains, the sour blonde, can be found on tap at the taproom at Dragoon Brewing (1859 W Grant Rd #111) starting October 14th and will be there until supplies run out.  There will also be the previously mentioned sipping session at Good Oak Bar on October 18th from 6 - 9PM, as well as sipping sessions (and release parties) at Tap and Bottle Downtown Thursday, October 19th, at 6PM and at Tap and Bottle North on Friday, October 20th, also at 6PM.

[bwicblog]

SA: I am still troubled by this insistence it is just a leaf. It is a shamrock.

SA: In other words. a clover.

ID: 🍃

SA: don't encourage them. it's a shamrock.

SA: 🍀

SA: here, for the fight.

SA: now you will be lucky.

ID: i don't need luck, but thanks for the support. =:)

SA: if you could use your psionics you could eviscrate your opponent and none would stand in your way.

SA: If only.

SA: oh, wait, this was a nonlethal fight.

SA: Nevermind.

ID: uhhh i better be able to use my psi.

ID: for non-lethal uses of course.

ID: does this fight come with a rulebook. =>:I

SA: i thought it was exclusively a melee weapons fight? you know. to be.... accurate.

ID: my psi can be melee weapons!

ID: psi are accurate to the times. =>:I

SA: are they...

SA: is that what the lady in the lake was.

SA: maybe she could do what you do.

SA: throwing out glowing psionic swords.

ID: i have no idea what you're talking about, but yes.

SA: that was very cool, by the way.

SA: I enjoyed that.

SA: I am sorry I had to leave to sleep.

ID: good! did you have to sleep because you used your psi?

ID: i noticed you were getting. sloppy and rubbing your neck at the end. =:/ you gonna be alright?

SA: i am alright. It has just become harder as of late.

SA: i am on my last set of medicine.

SA: I do not know what will happen after this.

ID: =://///

SA: but my inhibitor is now trying to regulate my telekinesis by more physical means instead of chemical, as it is drained of thechemical used to nullify it.

ID: what's the chemical? maybe i can find a way to. hook you up.

SA: It's alright, Hadean. I already searched the black market for it.

SA: it has to be smuggled from the colonies and they've cracked down on the runners lately.

SA: but if you must know, this is the list.

SA has sent InhibitorRounds.txt

ID: i mean it's not alriiight.

ID: do like. the usual psi null shit work? you know, like. the stuff they use on psis they catch and stuff.

SA: No, that is too strong. It would also turn off my clairvoyance.

SA: perhaps if it could be diluted.

SA: but I do not know how that would be done.

ID: i mean. if it's having no psi or being dead. which is better?

ID: i'll see what i can find out for you though.

SA: I don't think I will die. But it would be lonelier without my clairvoyance.

SA: it would be like living in a world that is completely silent.

SA: but thank you, friend.

SA: I will remember this.

ID: well i'll do what i can. =:I

SA: how was pizza?

ID: good! now i'm gonna get makeup done so i can look glam while kicking ass. =:D

SA: make sure it's waterproof so you don't sweat and become one with the clowns during the fight.

SA: will you change or is the hooker outfit for the entirety of the fairs part of your contract

ID: sip is doing it and she fights all the time, i'm sure she knows what she's doing.

ID: and no! definitely back to normal clothes. t-shirt and jeans are what i'm used to fighting in.

SA: oh, I didn't know Sipara wore makeup in her fights. Then again I have marginal knowledge of her fights.

SA: t shirt and jeans...

SA: I would almost prefer the hooker outfit 😮

ID: rude!

ID: i'm sorry i have no fashion sense. =>:I i tried shopping with gliese for clothes but everything is all. old-timey. or garish!

SA: oh, no I didn't mean it like that.

SA: rather that I would be uncomfortable fighting in that.

SA: but if it's what you're used to then it's no problem

ID: oh. well. yeah, i'm used to it. since that's my wardrobe like. every night.

ID: what do you fight in then?

SA: my uniform. 😮

SA: I don't have any photos of it.

ID: do you still wear it? =:?

SA: yes, on jobs that I anticipate will be dangerous

SA: do you only have one set of clothes?

ID: i mean i have three sets of practically the same outfit.

SA: oh.

SA: would you like to go shopping with me?

ID: i mean. sure bud! you seem to have more idea of what to wear than i do.

SA: do you like suits?

ID: i've never. worn a suit.

SA: then I have no idea if I have any idea of what to wear better than you do all I wear is suits and baggy shirts

SA: people often tell me I am too thin otherwise.

SA: we can go ugly shopping then. And pretend we know.

ID: well i doubt a troll can gain much weight on sushi and coffee.

SA: most of my diet is desserts and fruit unless I'm eating out

SA: I don't know how you don't gain weight. Three pizzas, Hadean

ID: just eat out all the time! you have the money for it. or hire a cook to cook for you.

SA: that's as many as twenty slices. And that's a lot

ID: my psi burns it all up. why do you think i'm poor?

SA: oh, it isn't internally generated energy?

SA: it relies on a metabolic process?

ID: it doesn't rely on it, but it messes up the process or something?

ID: i don't know. it's just something i deal with and don't think too much about. i'm no scientist.

SA: I see.

SA: i am sorry.

AA: wassup, did someone mention S C I E N C E? >:}

SA: also, I do not think my roommate would like a cook. And they may rob me. And I will fight them.

ID: no.

SA: hello, AA

AA: arne you surne it's yrn psi, and not just you hiding food in yrn horns forn latern??

AA: suuup, prnisma.

ID: and don't be sorry pris, i mean it's fine.

ID: do my horns look like they can store three pizzas. stop being jelly of my horns.

AA: they totes do. rnight, prni??

SA: I think they are cute horns.

SA: but I want to touch the orb.

SA: and remove it

ID: it is not removeable.

SA: were you hatched with it?

ID: and it'll shock you.

ID: no. it, uh. grew in. Like I had a lumpy ugly horn.

SA: Sipara, I think it would take very condensed pizzas to manage that

ID: and then the lump broke off.

ID: and now i have a much cooler horn.

AA: but what if we comprnessed em way thin??

AA: like. rnoadkill thin.

SA: they would have to be ribbon pizzas to wrap properly on the outside, but I am unsure about the inside.

SA: oh

SA: I still wish to touch it

SA: I wonder what would happen if someone places a psionics field around it

ID: no experimenting on my horn, i was about to say you could touch it but now i'm rethinking things.

ID: also stop talking about me having pizza-stuffed horns. rude.

ID: ps sip are you gonna make me pretty yet.

ID: i don't think i'll be hard since i'm already gorgeous. =:P or at least have some flawless skin.

SA: I wouldn't try to do anything to it, just touch it.

SA: make him prettier, Sipara

SA: his ego craves this 🙃

ID: you can touch it. just be aware it'll feel weird.

AA: y, y, y, just finished up lal, so I'll give him the boot and you can get yrn ass in Phern's van. >:} AA: gonna make you soprnetty that evernyone's phones crnack frnom fucking envy. AA: orn frnom yrn lameass clown tatts. >:P

ID: fuck off they aren't clown tats. =>:P

AA: prni. prniiiiiii. AA: arne you coming orn n?? ain't got any yellow shit, but can totally deck you up in marnoon. phern's got so much marnoon. AA: orn jade. you feeling gothy today? >:}

AA: stfu, they totes arne.

ID: c'mon pri, wear my colors since you're gonan cheer for me. =:P

ID: they are not! they are ancient designs i found in an old scroll that looked kickass.

AA: yyyy. become an honornarny rnustbucket. join the parnty. >:P

AA: and. AA: in an old scrnoll? srnsly? oooh my god.

AA: you A RN E a nernd.

SA: I will wear Hadean's colors. That is fine.

ID: uh you're the one who cuts trolls open to look at their psi organs. so you can't judge you super-nerd.

SA: please do not cut us open

SA: how does jade relate to "gothy "?

ID: ...are you asking because you wear jade pris.

AA: bc jades arne drninkerns and can go out in the sun, and, like, fondle zombies, and shit.

SA: no.

SA: oh, like Perdia wants.

SA: yes, alright.

SA: I wear almost exclusively black and lime

SA: it tells people to mind themselves

AA: no cutting open unless you ask. >:} dnw, we'rne all bosom buddies herne, yeah??

AA: lmao, wow. lime?

ID: if i go down in the fight pris don't let her get to my body. =:I

AA: >:{!!!

AP: I can't actually go in the sun, thank you.

AA: rnude!!

ID: ruder to want to cut my poor body to pieces. and what? laaame ap.

AA: yeah, see, that's what jades say. kinda like hads saying he won't gimme his bod.

AP: I'm pretty sure there's a reason people generally don't like having their body swapped.

AA: and yeah, yeah, you can be like B'L U H B'L U H, hads, but what I'm hearning is yrn totes selfish.

AA: mb I don't W A N T yrn bod forn science. so therne

SS: (Maybe your bod ain't cut out for sciencing? (\unu/) )

AP: ....

AP: That was really good

AA: >:D

AP: Nice

AA: neway, y, you two get yrn glutes overn herne and i'll make you HELLA prnetty.

ID: you wound me bonnie. omw sips. you can sigh in envy about my perfectly even skin.

ID: other than, y'know. the tattooed parts.

AA: dude, if I wanted to sigh in envy, I'd look in a mirnrnorn. >:}

ID: i mean you could if you wanted to break the mirror. =:P

SA: where are we going?

AA: phern's carnt. but also like wait n back this shit up. AA: can I also touch yrn weirnd horn tumourn??

AA: orn is that prnops of prni only? >:}

ID: i suppose. the cart can turn in to a hadean petting zoo.

ID: feed me some damn pellets while you pet me.

AA: yesss. and n, fuck off.

AA: gotta do a trnick forn pellets.

ID: my horn is the trick. =>:I

AA: like, say hello in nerndfesterntongues.

AA: yrn horn is a weirnd abomination I wanna poke. that's not a trnick!!

AA: unless you grnow anothern. in which case: yes, a+ trnick, you should grnow like.

AA: E I G H T.

ID: fuck no one is enough staring as is. =:I

AA: but, dude, think abt it.

AA: you could thrnow them at ppl.

ID: i can throw psi at people already. =:I

SA: yes. It is very impressive.

SA: sorry, I was resting again.

AA: horns arne bettern than psi. forn starterns, they'rne heaviern. >:P

SA: I will come to the cart when you all do. I wish to see Hadean pretty.

AA: .. duuude, lmao. you sick, brnah?

AA: orn just like. tirned? >:?

SA: I always sick semantically speaking

ID: oh! sip!

AA: L M A Ö. >:}

ID: pris needs a null.

ID: but not a full-null.

ID: is there like. half-nulls.

SA: quarter even

AA: haha, what.

ID: sure quarter.

AA: .. let's switch chats, loserns. >:}

AA: wtf you need a null forn?

ID: pris' psionics need flattening.

ID: he used expensive fancy drugs but can't get them anymore.

ID: =:I

SA: my inhibitor restricts my telekinesis to prevent me from causing inordinate harm.

SA: using them dry results in the inhibitor causing me physical pain to incline me to stop.

SA: like having an nerve pinched.

AA: hads. haaads. AA: yrn lucky I like yrn dumb ass, bc, like, if I didn't? you popping up like Y, NULL MY DUDE would be totes fucking weirnd. js.

AA: .. what, and you can't just, like, not use 'em?

ID: some psis have a mind of their own sip.

SA: I do not know if it will spread to my clairvoyance as well the longer it goes

SA: also: I enjoy using my telekinesis to clean.

SA: it allows me to defend myself within reasonable margins but as long as the inhibitor thinks they cannot be regulated then it will keep hurting me

AA: lmao. 'kay. ppl gotta sparnk, i guess. >:} phern won't stop using his shit neithern, but eyy. AA: that's fixable. AA: gimme yrn inhib deets.

AA: it internal orn, like, ext??

ID: it's a big giant thing on his back.

SA: it's a model built specifically for my program. The chemicals are inserted via rods or injectors.

SA has sent InhibitorRounds.txt

SA: these were the chemicals I had been administering

ID: yeah that so can you fix it?

AA: mb, mb. could make something to, like, sornt of synthesize some of that shit? like row h's a naturnal byprnoduct of the saturnine undernpernfornmern rnoadrnoach. AA: but lmao, row a is some srns wadern shit.

ID: ...i have no idea what any of that shit you typed means. =:I

AA: mb if I rneplaced it with.. hmmm. AA: idk, I can trny. >:} but idk how well it'll wornk. orn, uh. side effects. AA: you allerngic to anything?

AA: bc if you dunno, we'rne gonna F I N D Ö U T.

AA: ... and dnw, hads, that was just all S C I E N C E. also, like, tl;dr: bug juices.

ID: oh okay. =:/

AA: do you want me to brneak it down forn you?

AA: .. bc like if you want to get in on the nernderny, i'm all abt that schoolfeed shit. >:}

ID: uh.

ID: no.

ID: i mean. why would i want to?

ID: my psi are cool.

AA: idk, dude, yrn the one making =:/ faces.

AA: and still won't tell me wtf yrn psi is. >:P

SA: I don't believe I would have been finished if I had allergies.

SA: only the best generically were

SA: nevermind

SA: we will find out if it causes me catastrophic harm

SA: I am not particularly worried

AA: ???

ID: my psi are the coolest and that's all anyone needs to know. besides, i showed you a construct!

AA: haha, wait, shit, I forngot. yrn a clownbb, arnen't you? AA: yeah, prnobs no allerngies. idk. we'll see. >:} AA: get some juice beforne you come up, btw, prni, I'll do yrn mugs and then I'm taking chrnome.

SA: clownbb?

SA: why is Hadean a clown baby

AA: no, you, dornk.

SA: why am I a clown baby

AA: he just looks like one. >:P

AA: bc!

AA: oh my god, you don't know anything, jfc. >:{

AA: hads. go fuck off and rnead a rnecipe blog forn a min.

SA: Hadean translates for me usually. I'm sorry

AA: yyyy, ino, stfu. AA: it's nbd.

SA: what does juice have to do with chrome

ID: i am now reading blogs or whatever.

AA: gj. AA: so, like, you got nornmal folks with psi, like, idk, phern n hads. then you got clownbbs like you and phern's fuckboy and rniccin. AA: hanging arnound w highbloods and getting shit shoved in you.

AA: make sense??

SA: Pheres's fuck boy?

SA: I don't really like the term clown baby but I understand what you mean.

AA: the blue one.

SA: I would rather be a clone than. A clown baby even if it isn't accurate.

SA: kit?

AA: kit?? cottontail orn w/e. >:} AA: and loool.

AA: y, guess yrn not wearning paint, so you can't be one. >:P dnw, will find anothern ternm just forn you.

AA: and chrnome is yrn blood. which I'm taking. so I can check if yrn gonna get anaphyletic on me bc I used cheap shit.

SA: oh.

SA: okay.

SA: I have good veins.

SA: 😃

AA: W Ö W, gj, +10 crneepern rnight therne.

SA: that's what the staff told me

SA: anyways.

AA: oh my good. AA: anyway. y. any othern qs??

SA: no not particularly.

SA: thank you

SA: I can give you money.

AA: yw. dnw, dn-- LMAO no. AA: stfu and keep that shit.

AA: 'kay, hads, we'rne done talking science. >:}

ID: okay sweet. i got myself a pastry while i was waiting.

SA: what kind?

ID: just some sort of roll with berries in it. and frosting. tasted good.

SA: scone?

AA: what type of bernrnies??

SA: i should find juice and eat something. This reminds me.

SA: tell us Hadean

AA: y, go do that. no fainting in the van. >:} AA: and brning me something, all we've got in herne is coffee.

SA: lemonade?

AA: food!!

SA: oh! Oh. Yes. I will do this.

ID: no, not a scone. and a bunch of berries. i dunno, i didn't stop to examine them. i just ate it.

SA: he consumes

SA: I will go now. I'll see you all soon.

SA: 💗

ID: sorry i'm hungry all the time. =:P see ya.

AA: haha, omg. awww. >:}

ID: my body is a mess but it's my mess.

AA: lmao. AA: idk, dude, at least it's only one horn on firne. >:}

AA: can you rnly be a mess until then? yrn just, like, a tiny trnash heap.

ID: wow, doubting my mess status. i'm hurt.

ID: ps do you think fighting in a t-shirt and jeans isn't good? like. what do you fight in?

AA: oh, n, yrn totes a dumpstern firne, dnw. just not a M E S S. least, not aftern I'm done w yrn makeup. >:P AA: and idk. whatcha fighting against?

ID: emerel. duh. =:P

ID: and generally other trolls.

AA: no, dornklornd, what strnifes??

ID: ...i can use most stuff alright. whatever i need to use!

AA: you need mobility?

AA: orn you want padding?

ID: well apparently he uses a halberd so i'm going to try and stay in close quarters.

AA: 'kay, jeans arne fine but it's gonna rnip like tissue if he's got a knife. leatherns bettern, tbh. suede?? waaaay hardern forn anything to get thrnough.

ID: i can make armor in a pinch. enough to take most of a hit probs.

ID: gotta remember i have to worry about overheating.

AA: haha, yeah, soon as you starnt moving, dude, you'll prnobs steam. AA: and y, mb you can, but do you have the rneflexes to make arnmourn forn yrn thigh when his fist is in yrn face?